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please help me- i used to be pretty smart but i’m having so much trouble grasping the concept of diegetic vs non-diegetic bdsm!
gfkjldghfd okay first of all I'm sorry for the confusion, if you're not finding anything on the phrase it's because I made it up and absolutely nobody but me ever uses it, but I haven't found a better way to express what I'm trying to say so I keep using it. but now you've given me an excuse to ramble on about some shit that is only relevant to me and my deeply inefficient way of talking and by god I'm going to take it.
SO. the way diegetic and non-diegetic are normally used is to talk about music and sound design in movies/tv shows. in case you aren't familiar with that concept, here's a rundown:
diegetic sound is sound that happens within the world of the movie/show and can be acknowledged by the characters, like a song playing on the stereo during a driving scene, or sung on stage in Phantom of the Opera. it's also most other sounds that happen in a movie, like the sounds of traffic in a city scene, or a thunderclap, or a marching band passing by. or one of the three stock horse sounds they use in every movie with a horse in it even though horses don't really vocalize much in real life, but that's beside the point, the horse is supposed to be actually making that noise within the movie's world and the characters can hear it whinnying.
non-diegetic sound is any sound that doesn't exist in the world of the movie/show and can't be perceived by the characters. this includes things like laugh tracks and most soundtrack music. when Duel of Fates plays in Star Wars during the lightsaber fight for dramatic effect, that's non-diegetic. it exists to the audience, but the characters don't know their fight is being backed by sick ass music and, sadly, can't hear it.
the lines can get blurry between the two, you've probably seen the film trope where the clearly non-diegetic music in the title sequence fades out to the same music, now diegetic and playing from the character's car stereo. and then there are things like Phantom of the Opera as mentioned above, where the soundtrack is also part of the plot, but Phantom of the Opera does also have segments of non-diegetic music: the Phantom probably does not have an entire orchestra and some guy with an electric guitar hiding down in his sewer just waiting for someone to break into song, but both of those show up in the songs they sing down there.
now, on to how I apply this to bdsm in fiction.
if I'm referring to diegetic bdsm what I mean is that the bdsm is acknowledged for what it is in-world. the characters themselves are roleplaying whatever scenarios their scenes involve and are operating with knowledge of real life rules/safety practices. if there's cnc depicted, it will be apparent at some point, usually right away, that both characters actually are fully consenting and it's all just a planned scene, and you'll often see on-screen negotiation and aftercare, and elements of the story may involve the kink community wherever the characters are. Love and Leashes is a great example of this, 50 Shades and Bonding are terrible examples of this, but they all feature characters that know they're doing bdsm and are intentional about it.
if I'm talking about non-diegetic bdsm, I'm referring to a story that portrays certain kinks without the direct acknowledgement that the characters are doing bdsm. this would be something like Captive Prince, or Phantom of the Opera again, or the vast majority of bodice ripper type stories where an innocent woman is kidnapped by a pirate king or something and totally doesn't want to be ravished but then it turns out he's so cool and sexy and good at ravishing that she decides she's into it and becomes his pirate consort or whatever it is that happens at the end of those books. the characters don't know they're playing out a cnc or D/s fantasy, and in-universe it's often straight up noncon or dubcon rather than cnc at all. the thing about entirely non-diegetic bdsm is that it's almost always Problematic™ in some way if you're not willing to meet the story where it's at, but as long as you're not judging it by the standards of diegetic bdsm, it's just providing the reader the same thing that a partner in a scene would: the illusion of whatever risk or taboo floats your boat, sometimes to extremes that can't be replicated in real life due to safety, practicality, physics, the law, vampires not being real, etc. it's consensual by default because it's already pretend; the characters are vehicles for the story and not actually people who can be hurt, and the reader chose to pick up the book and is aware that nothing in it is real, so it's all good.
this difference is where people tend to get hung up in the discourse, from what I've observed. which is why I started using this phrasing, because I think it's very crucial to be able to differentiate which one you're talking about if you try to have a conversation with someone about the portrayal of bdsm in media. it would also, frankly, be useful for tagging, because sometimes when you're in the mood for non-diegetic bodice ripper shit you'd call the police over in real life, it can get really annoying to read paragraphs of negotiation and check-ins that break the illusion of the scene and so on, and the opposite can be jarring too.
it's very possible to blur these together the same way Phantom of the Opera blurs its diegetic and non-diegetic music as well. this leaves you even more open to being misunderstood by people reading in bad faith, but it can also be really fun to play with. @not-poignant writes fantastic fanfic, novels, and original serials on ao3 that pull this off really well, if you're okay with some dark shit in your fiction I would highly recommend their work. some of it does get really fucking dark in places though, just like. be advised. read the tags and all that.
but yeah, spontaneous writer plug aside, that's what I mean.
#I found their original stuff while I was researching various waterhorses and their folklore for no reason#because one of the characters in their original work happens to be an each uisge#and then it turned out it ALSO included a lot of figures from welsh folklore in general#so yknow if you happen to have my incredibly specific hyperfixations you'll love it but even if you don't it's great#I didn't mean to bring up phantom of the opera so much it just happens to be very relevant to a lot of my talking points#I haven't actually seen it in years
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How Not to Break Your Sewing Machine
I work in a shop where we repair sewing machines (a LOT of sewing machines), and unsurprisingly we see a lot of the same problems over and over again, so I'm here with some advice on how to keep your machine running longer.
When you break a needle, dig around until you have found the broken piece. If you leave it in there, it can end up in the wrong place at the wrong time and break something vital.
SLOW DOWN. The function of your sewing machine depends on the different moving parts ending up in the right place at the right time. Having to go through a lot of/heavy material slows the needle down, but it doesn't slow down the mechanism underneath the needle plate. If you try to go your usual speed, the needle will arrive too late and collide with something it shouldn't, breaking either the needle or the bobbin case. If the material is especially heavy (say you're sewing several layers of denim, or sewing webbing onto canvas), take your foot off the pedal and turn the machine by hand.
Clean out the bobbin area after each project. Really. Your machine comes with a little brush for this purpose. If it doesn't, a little dollar-store paint brush will work just fine. Remember what I said above about things being in the right place at the right time? Everything needs to be able to move freely for this to work. I know it looks like it's just a little dust and fluff, but it will jam up your machine eventually.
If you can, get your timing adjusted by a professional. I know most people don't have a sewing machine repair shop in their neighbourhood, but if you can do this, it's worth it. If the machine's timing is good, then you're more likely to have a little leeway for heavier fabric or a lintier bobbin case. When the timing is just a bit off, it takes less of an obstacle to put the needle in a place it shouldn't be.
If you can, buy a machine built before 1980. If it's still working 50 years after it was made, it's gonna keep working. Those older machines are made with metal gears and therefore weigh a ton, so they're definitely not a good choice if you don't have a permanent setup for your machine, but it means they basically last forever. Newer machines are made with plastic parts, and no matter what you do, they will break.
Don't buy a Singer Heavy Duty. I'm sure those machines have their benefits, but they are absolutely not heavy duty. We repair more Singer Heavy Dutys than any other single model of sewing machine. If you're already stuck with a Heavy Duty, then follow my advice above even more scrupulously, and start shopping around for a replacement if you can. You can get a used sewing machine of better quality for significantly less than a new Heavy Duty.
To keep things working properly, make sure you're:
threading your machine properly
using the right kind of bobbin
adjusting your tension properly
and using the right kind of needle for the fabric you're sewing!
(These things are unlikely to break your machine, but they will keep it from sewing properly.)
Other than that, get your hands on your machine's manual and read it carefully. If you can, bring your machine in for a cleaning and adjustment now and then. Your machine will need repairs every once in a while: it's a lot of little moving parts! But these are some basic precautions you can take to avoid some common problems.
#sewing machines#sewing#sewblr#sewing machine#i imagine most of you already know this stuff#but many of our customers do not#sewing machine psa#sewing machine maintenance
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Spoiler Warning for Transformers One. Please go see the film, it's great.
Something occurred to me when rewatching Elita-1's firing scene:
Right off the bat, she's presented as an absolute unit in the mines. We see her being a very by-the-book character. She's incredibly competent, strong, serious, focused, and an effective leader.
Maybe a little too effective.
We learn that Sentinel goes out of his way to personally take care of any "anomalies" in his system and does so in a way where the blame always gets shifted away from him.
It's why he personally went to see Pax and D-16 after the Iacon 5000 race. He makes himself out to be the open-minded, compassionate leader he's been parading as.
When Darkwing throws Orion and D-16 into sub-level 50, neither bot suspects Sentinel for their demotion. In fact, they beg Darkwing to talk to Sentinel so he can sort out the "misunderstanding".
It's later confirmed that Sentinel never had any intention of talking with Orion or D-16 after their first meeting. When Orion reunites with his fellow miners later in the film, they mention that Sentinel put out a statement saying that they both died from "racing injuries".
Sentinel might've not even openly ordered Darkwing to dispose of them. Darkwing might've been manipulated into thinking everyone was mocking him for losing the race (thanks to lowly miners) making him want to get rid of them.
Subconsciously manipulating someone like Darkwing would've been easy for Sentinel.
Sentinel clearly does not tolerate anyone rising above the station he imposes on them.
So what does this have to do with Elita-1 being fired?
We see her rigidly following the rules, meeting all quotas, running a tight and efficient crew. She's doing her job as a miner, a role unknowingly forced upon her by Sentinel, perfectly.
Shouldn't Sentinel be happy about that?
Well sure...
If Elita wasn't actively trying to get promoted.
We don't get a lot of information about how promotion works in TFOne's mining system, but we do know that in other iterations of pre-war Cybertron, one of the only ways miners could rise out of the mines was by participating in ridiculously difficult gladiatorial fights in Kaon's pits.
In other iterations, this was how D-16/Megatron was able to escape his station and how he grew to be so strong.
So basically, whatever version you look at, the miners are told "if you work really, reeeeally hard, and do your job perfectly, and don't die in the process (which, odds are, you will) you might, MIGHT get a chance to get out of the caste you were born into."
It's BS.
It's an impossible feat. No one is actually supposed to be able to achieve that goal, but it's the metaphorical carrot dangling in front of the work mules so they don't notice the ever-tightening rope around their necks.
But every so often there's someone extraordinary, like Elita, who actually manages to meet this impossible standard and with whom it becomes increasingly difficult to deny this coveted promotion.
So what can Sentinel do about bots like Elita-1?
Simple.
Wait for a screw-up.
It must happen eventually.
A member of Elita's team, Orion Pax, in clear violation of evacuation protocol, goes back into the mines to save Jazz from getting crushed to death.
Despite managing to escape, the closing mine causes a tunnel support to be flung into nearby machinery (which doesn't look critical and could probably be easily fixed).
Then, right the heck outta nowhere, Darkwing drops in, SECONDS AFTER THE INCIDENT JUST HAPPENED, and immediately fires Elita.
No "What happened?" or "Who's responsible?" or "The supervisor wants to see you", he just pops into the scene and demotes Elita, arguably one of the best workers in the mine, to a bottom-tier waste management position.
As if he'd been on standby, actively waiting for a reason to fire her.
"But Elita herself wasn't the one who screwed up!"
Doesn't matter.
"But she told them to follow protocol!"
Doesn't matter.
"But Orion admitted he was the one at fault!"
Doesn't matter.
"But a bot was saved! Jazz would've died!"
Does. Not. MATTER.
Her firing is presented as the typical "one character says thing won't happen then thing immediately happens" joke, but given how so much thought went into so much of TFOne's background details, I can't help but wonder if this was a hint to how broken the system was and how it was always rigged in a way that ensures the miners will never get out.
Not to mention, once Orion, D-16, and Jazz safely escape, she chews Orion out by saying, "If I get fired for this..." meaning this abrupt, out-of-nowhere, baseless firing is absolutely typical.
That's what makes Elita's "I'm better than you" speech to Orion that much more meaningful, because in many ways, she is better than him.
She's a better worker, better fighter, better at completing the task at hand, better at making sure things run smoothly. She is, ironically enough, an efficient and perfectly-running machine.
But had Orion not dragged Elita to the surface, she probably would've spent her whole life obediently following the rules, never questioning why things were the way they were. She was so focused on rising up within the system that she could never look beyond it.
Elita might be the cog by which other cogs turn.
But Orion is the spark that shows them a better way.
That's why he was given the Matrix.
#transformers#transformers g1#autobots#tf g1#megatron#decepticon#decepticons#autobot#optimus#transformers optimus#transfromers#transformers one#transformers orion pax#tfp#tf one#tf one orion pax#tf one spoilers#tf one 2024#tf one megatron#tf1#d 16#orion pax#sentinel prime#tf one optimus#megop#elita one#elita 1#optimus x elita#tf jazz#jazz
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How to Make Your Own Binder that Fits Well and Looks Good
A while back I was in need of some new binders and thought hey, I bet I can make one way cheaper than buying it from somewhere (especially cus some of the ones I’ve bought in the past didn’t really fit right). Except when I started looking for a binder patterns online, I was very surprised that I really… couldn’t find many that looked very nice lol. Most of them had really wrinkled necklines, or didn't bind well, or just overall looked weird. A lot of the patterns also required a serger, which I don't have.
So I just said fuck it and made my own pattern! And it ended up being relatively easy! And the binders fit REALLY WELL and are comfortable to wear, even for long periods. The neckline doesn't show under shirts with loose collars, and the bottom hem doesn't gap or stick out. Here's me wearing one:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/18a3675a08c62a59f45a18607a475b3e/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-1d/s540x810/6c81b608f10fb234fd7f6c4bdd70c3e536fe20f0.jpg)
(plus I was able to make myself 5 of them for a total of like ~$50.)
So I figured I could throw together a guide to help out anyone else who wanted to make their own binder but was dissatisfied with the patterns available!
Disclaimer: This tutorial is going to assume a baseline level of sewing experience, and also will require access to a sewing machine. It is not a complicated pattern, but it will most likely require some tweaking and adjustments after you make the first one. Don’t be afraid to make alterations to make it fit better!
This tutorial is for a gc2b-style half-tank binder. It could be altered to be a full-tank binder, but all instructions will be for the half-tank design.
Materials needed:
Stretchy fabric, probably listed as 'athletic fabric' (I use this kind from Joann’s. Most athletic stretch fabrics should work, look for around 80% nylon/20% spandex blends)
Stiff fabric (I use this shirting cotton because I like how lightweight it is. If you want something a little stiffer with more structure, you can use a cotton or cotton/poly blend twill like this. gc2b binders use twill for theirs.)
Lightweight fusible interfacing (I use this kind) (get FUSIBLE not sew-in)
Fusible webbing like Pellon Wonder-Web (this is technically optional but it WILL make your life easier when you’re sewing - just make sure to get the kind with the paper backing!!!)
“But kiwisoap thats 4 whole kinds of materials, surely I don’t need that many!” Ok sure, you can probably get by without the fusible web and interfacing, but consider: they are both dirt cheap (im talking like $1-2/yard), they will make it much easier to sew the final product, and will give you an overall better-looking result. This tutorial is written with the assumption that you’ll use them.
"How much fabric will I need?" Measure the circumference of your chest below your armpits. Add 6 inches just to be safe. This is the yardage of stretch fabric you’ll need, and should give you enough material to make at least 3 binders without much excess left over. You will need around half as much stiff fabric.
Other supplies:
Big Paper (for drawing the pattern)
Flexible measuring tape
Sewing machine
Iron
Pins
Step 1: Measuring
You will need 4 main measurements for this pattern.
A) Measure the circumference of your chest just below your armpits, then divide the number in half. This will be the widest part of the pattern.
B) Measure from the top of your shoulder down to where you want the binder to end. For most folks, this will usually be around the natural waist (narrowest part of the torso), about 3-6 inches above the belly button. This will be the overall height of the pattern.
C) Measure the distance from below your armpit to where you want the binder to end. This will determine where the arm hole starts.
D) Measure the circumference of your waist where you want the binder to end, then divide the number in half.
So for example, after dividing A and D in half, my measurements are 17", 15", 7", and 14.5".
Next:
Subtract one inch from measurement A - This will help provide some compression. You might need to take it in even further depending on how it fits, but one inch is a safe starting point. I take mine in around 1.5 inches.
Subtract half an inch from measurement D. This will help prevent the bottom edge of the binder from gapping. Again, you may need to take it in more or less, depending on your own body.
Add 1.5 inches to measurement B and one inch to measurement C. This is to account for the hems and armhole placement.
This makes my final measurements
A = 16"
B = 16.5"
C = 8"
D = 13.5"
From here on out, we are only going to be working with the measurements that we have added/subtracted to, NOT the ones we initially took.
Step 2: Drawing the Pattern
You will need a piece of paper large enough to accommodate the entire pattern. This may involve taping multiple pieces together, or using a piece of newsprint, etc.
I recommend folding the paper in half to ensure that you get a symmetrical pattern. However, this means you will need to divide measurements A and D in half again, or else you’ll end up with a pattern that’s twice as wide as it should be!
Also note: the pattern is drawn with the seam allowance built in! You don’t need to add any seam allowance.
To draw the pattern:
Begin with your folded paper. Measure and mark B and C on the paper, and draw a line extending across the paper. These will be your guidelines.
Measure and mark A and D along the middle and bottom guidelines, respectively. Remember, the paper is folded, so you only use half of the measurement for A and D.
Draw a loose curve connecting the endpoints of A and D. If needed, you can also just draw a straight line between the two.
Mark the opening for the neck hole. Depending on your size, it will measure around 6-8 inches across at the top (remember to divide this in half for the folded paper) and about 5-6.5 inches deep. (mine is 6.5" across and 5.5" deep) Draw a curve to connect the two points. This part will take some tweaking and adjusting to get it to look right lol.
Measure the width of the strap - this should be somewhere between 2.5 - 4 inches wide. They will end up about 1/2” to 3/4” narrower once you sew them. Draw the line at a slight angle, as shown.
Connect the endpoint of the strap to the endpoint of line A with a curve like in the diagram.
This will be the pattern for the front piece.
To make the back piece, trace the front pattern, but make a very shallow curve for the neckline instead of a steep one, as shown:
The last piece is the stiff front panel. This is what provides the flattening effect of the binder. To make the pattern, trace the front pattern again. Trim 3/8” in on the sleeves and neckline, and 3/4” to 1” along the bottom. This gives a flatter hem. Then trim the straps shorter by a few inches. This helps the binder lay flatter along the shoulders.
When you're done, you should have 3 pattern pieces that look approximately like this (stiff panel shown overlaid on the stretch fabric to show how it fits together).
NOTE: If you want more compression or just want to make it a bit sturdier, you can add a second panel of stretch fabric to the back piece. Just use the bottom half of the back pattern (from the widest part down to the bottom hem) to cut out another piece of stretch fabric. Attach it to the back piece with a strip of fusible webbing and a zig-zag stitch along the top.
Step 3: Putting It All Together
Once you’ve made the patterns and cut out the pieces of fabric, you should have something that looks like this:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/2012d939797d05271086e87043d0ecda/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-c3/s540x810/ca549199f5f89689fafc41606529d43a522e5553.jpg)
The next step is adding interfacing and fusible webbing. Use your pattern to cut out 3/8" strips to fit on the top of the straps for both pieces, and to the neckline, sleeves, and bottom hem of the back piece, as shown:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5f47d1c70bbabdf10f3101954b58ad4d/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-bb/s540x810/d0166193a2a4d27dfa2514dbb0da4082819e7942.jpg)
If you want to add it to the bottom hem of the front piece, it will help keep that hem flat when sewing it down later, but it's not essential.
If you choose to also use fusible webbing (WHICH I RECOMMEND), you will apply it to the stiff front panel similarly to how the interfacing was applied, ~3/8” strips along the neckline, sleeves, and top of the straps. Cut out two strips for the neckline and sleeves, because we'll use those later too.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0b80d86cb5364baffab5fec27f291ca1/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-f4/s540x810/4c688c3fedcfce2186ee0638deee3b216ec1f964.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0073edd91b269d5aec18755e221520c3/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-36/s540x810/398b2a6e008f0a7510c15bb110168b04fdc9c5bf.jpg)
Iron the strips onto the front panel as shown:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3d2bb61dbd25ff3785b11008fb21883d/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-52/s540x810/1805c919ba728372a291caf306f19f11abdc138d.jpg)
Once it's on, just peel off the paper, position it webbing-side down on the stretch fabric, and iron it to fuse the two pieces together so everything stays in place while you sew. THIS MAKES IT WAY EASIER TO SEW.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/11a6c9b2d6f683a20b667ac75c7661a4/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-b6/s540x810/f0d4859766b319be30475878acb82bfe90b893af.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6f17f7510228fae0eb8591610b0e55c0/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-52/s540x810/e1631a9874d9240b5861b6349ac0801cf6cdd842.jpg)
After the stiff front panel is fused to the stretch fabric, you’ll sew the straps of the front and back pieces together, then join the pieces along the sides. Pin the hell out of it to keep everything in place -this type of material is VERY prone to puckering.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3513f0c94e3790a39c48068885414610/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-a6/s540x810/089fa33f5fcd185722de54391fccb8a25997cc2f.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/6946653b247e3b4b92027582303db5a0/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-47/s540x810/783c3ac9f4329d8fd17ecd6f71770b686d757026.jpg)
When sewing, USE A ZIGZAG STITCH. A straight stitch will NOT WORK for stretch fabric. I adjust mine to 1.3mm long and 3.5mm wide which has worked well. If your machine doesn’t let you adjust stitch length or width, well. That sucks, I don’t really have any advice.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c2031160fede63fead5d80c121c61830/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-e1/s540x810/27ffaf737b56222b68b54340f2098acb1d34ab6d.jpg)
After you sew the front and back pieces together, you can add more fusible webbing to the front panel to help hold the hem down flat and prevent it from puckering while you sew it. Just add the strip, peel the paper off, then fold the hem over and iron it down. This part isn’t really necessary, but it does make the hems look nicer. If nothing else, I would recommend adding it to the neckline.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/5ca9a6283e9b4b8876ca23a4b374cfd7/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-c5/s540x810/7e9fc22b4452285fa17182aaf295ea1abe2420ca.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1a5a4accf7ddbd445d6ac578ca26a93b/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-c4/s540x810/a0025ba3171aaa1eeb2641679fcc86532b617d44.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b6c4d8b27e4d0d22874b70552ee39bfb/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-ff/s540x810/a0e6ebfe39168d70314e2636b41acf6cf9b1d62b.jpg)
After that, you just fold & pin all the hems and sew them up with a zigzag stitch, then go over the raw edge at the top of the stiff panel (where we cut the straps shorter).
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/3b4d57bc7c8142dc81f3778bc5e40e4c/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-fb/s540x810/b3b94b19664b6c8f925b6fb35fc28d58baaf636d.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/1be7998e948a86817a750dbdf5fb7546/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-ef/s540x810/4b384ae3528b926a6daa5b4321ffdd0b9202426b.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/ba24cf390ad912bbff8ebe91c9d4f629/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-41/s540x810/5e2cfd3437b67d9e0156da508b8cda18644573f3.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/0f9aa64407661ba5f519fe58a05715f2/fb1a11c2cd11ef56-1a/s540x810/fa4eddee99ffdf5c9731b2fd546cfd63b3f3722e.jpg)
And that’s it! You’re done! And now you can make your own binders whenever you want!
And hey! If you used this tutorial and wanna throw me a dollar or two on ko-fi, I wouldn't complain.
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Going UP?
Pairing: Paige Bueckers x Reader
Description: From missed alarms to broken elevators, your Tuesday couldn't get worse, well, until it gets better. When a late-running grad student's desperate dash to save her thesis turns into an unexpected elevator encounter with UConn basketball sensation Paige Bueckers, she learns that sometimes the best assists come from broken machinery.
Armed with nothing but coffee-fueled anxiety and an encyclopedic knowledge of basketball analytics, you find yourself trading quips with college basketball's golden girl in a stalled elevator. What starts as a disaster turns into something else entirely when basketball theory meets practice, terrible jokes meet dangerous grins, and hot chocolate meets, well, everywhere except the mug.
They say love is a game of chances. But when you're trapped between floors with a girl who can bend physics on the court and make your heart run suicides off it, maybe it's worth taking the shot. Sometimes cupid doesn't use arrows. Sometimes he just breaks the elevator.
Featuring: One (1) very broken elevator Several questionably colored cocktails A security guard who's seen it all Basketball plays drawn in spilled Shirley Temples Analytics-based flirting And a whipped cream fight that definitely isn't regulation play
Coming soon to wherever meet-cutes happen in college sports. (Rated R for excessive basketball puns and gay panic)
WC: 8.1k (roughly)
Genre/Notes: uh, i tried to be funny, floofy, rom-com-ish? (i tried), smut at the end, someone gets their kitty ATE, proof read like 50%
Your sneakers pound against the cracked, patchy sidewalk of North Campus, dodging the construction zone that's been "two weeks from completion" since freshman year. The November air bites at your cheeks, sharp as broken glass, and your laptop bag repeatedly slams into your hip with each stride, probably turning your thesis notes into digital confetti. A gust of wind lashes at you, tugging at your jacket, your hair, your sanity, and sending a rogue candy wrapper tumbling like a lonely tumbleweed across the quad like some 50’s Old West showdown.
You'd woken up to three missed calls from your advisor and an email that made your soul leave your body.
Meeting moved to 9:15 AM. Please bring updated analytics models.
It's 9:12.
The universe is really testing you today. First, your roommate's cat knocked your phone off the nightstand, somehow managing to turn off all five of your alarms. Then, the dining hall’s card reader had the audacity to look at your student ID like it was written in crayon, leaving you to scavenge through your bag for exact change like a Victorian orphan. And now this.
You weave through the crowd of freshmen congregating outside the Student Union like they've never seen stairs before, your thermos of room-temperature coffee sloshing dangerously close to the lid. The wind whips a forgotten syllabus past your feet as you cut across the grass (sorry, campus maintenance), taking the "shortcut" that everyone pretends they don't use. You can practically hear the landscaping team groaning somewhere, shaking their heads at the worn-down dirt trail you and a thousand other students have carved into their perfect lawn.
Gampel Pavilion looms ahead, all glass and steel and architectural hubris. The morning sun hits it at an angle that makes it look like it's on fire, which feels appropriate given your current state of mild panic. You've spent so many hours in this building that the security guard, Mike, doesn't even look up from his crossword puzzle anymore when you scan your ID.
"Running late?" he calls out as you blast past his desk.
"What gave it away?" you shout back, already halfway to the elevators. Your sneakers squeak against the polished floors, leaving behind a faint trail of panic and shame— but most importantly, dirt.
The ancient LED display above the elevator shows it's on the third floor. You slam the up button approximately forty-seven times, as if that's ever made an elevator move faster in the history of vertical transportation.
"Come on, come on," you mutter, shifting your weight between feet like you're doing some demented speed-skating warm-up. Your laptop bag keeps sliding off your shoulder, and you're pretty sure your hair looks like you styled it in a wind tunnel. A strand falls into your eyes, and you blow it away with a frustrated huff. Everything about you screams disaster, and yet the elevator couldn’t care less.
The elevator dings. The doors slide open with all the urgency of a DMV employee on a Friday afternoon.
And there she is.
Paige Bueckers is leaning against the back wall of the elevator, one foot propped up behind her, looking like she just stepped out of a Nike ad. Her practice uniform is pristine, her blonde hair pulled back in a perfect ponytail that somehow hasn't gotten the memo about today's wind situation. She's got AirPods in, absently spinning a basketball between her hands like it's an extension of her body.
Your brain short-circuits.
Time seems to slow down as you stand there, probably looking like a deer caught in very attractive headlights. The elevator dings again, threatening to close its doors on your moment of crisis.
Fuck it.
You lunge forward just as the doors start to close, practically diving into the elevator like you're trying to save a ball going out of bounds. Your coffee sloshes, your bag swings, and you nearly face-plant into the corner.
Paige pulls out one AirPod, her eyebrows raised so high they might achieve orbit. "Nice entrance."
You straighten up, trying to salvage whatever dignity might be hiding in the corners of this elevator. "Thanks, I've been practicing."
The elevator starts its ascent with a concerning rattle that definitely wasn't part of the original design. You adjust your bag for the hundredth time, very aware that you probably look like you just lost a fight with a leaf blower. Meanwhile, Paige keeps spinning that damn basketball, the soft thump-thump of it between her hands matching rhythm with your still-racing heart.
Nine floors to go. Eight if your advisor hasn't moved offices again after the Great Coffee Incident of last semester.
You can handle this. You're an adult. A slightly disheveled, possibly caffeine-deprived adult, but still. Just because you're sharing an elevator with the university's basketball goddess doesn't mean you need to—
The lights flicker once. Twice.
The elevator shudders like it's having an existential crisis.
Then everything stops.
The emergency lights kick in, bathing everything in a red glow that makes Paige look like she's starring in a very stylish apocalypse movie. The basketball stops spinning.
"Well," she says, tucking the ball under her arm and giving you a smile that definitely doesn't make your stomach flip. "Looks like the universe has other plans for us this morning."
You look at your phone: 9:14 AM.
Your advisor is going to kill you.
"Oh fuck, fuck, fuck," you mutter, jabbing at the emergency call button like it personally offended you. "This isn't happening. This can't be happening."
The little red light blinks back at you, mocking your entire existence, as if to say, yeah, good luck with that, idiot. You hit the button again, harder this time, because maybe the elevator just needs some aggressive encouragement.
"I don't think that's helping," Paige says, watching you with a mix of amusement and concern. She's still spinning that goddamn basketball, the rhythmic thump-thump now feeling less like a heartbeat and more like a countdown to your academic doom.
"Yeah? Well, neither are you," you snap, immediately regretting it. Great. Now you're trapped in an elevator AND you've just been rude to Paige fucking Bueckers. "Shit, sorry, I just—" You run both hands through your already catastrophic hair. "My advisor is going to crucify me. Like, actually crucify me. She's probably got a cross picked out and everything."
Paige catches the ball mid-spin. "Dr. Martinez?"
"How did you—"
"The only professor I know who actually might own a cross for student crucifixions." She tucks the ball under her arm. "She made one of our freshmen cry last week just by looking at her."
"That tracks." You slide down the wall opposite her, your legs finally giving up on the whole standing thing. "God, I can't believe this. I've got my entire thesis presentation on this laptop, three months of analytics data that I haven't backed up because I'm an idiot, and now I'm going to die in an elevator with—" You wave vaguely in her direction.
"With?" She raises an eyebrow, and you swear there's a smirk playing at the corner of her mouth.
"With UConn's basketball savior who's probably missing practice right now because the universe decided today was a great day for some cosmic practical joke." You let your head thunk back against the wall. "Coach Auriemma's probably already got a hit out on me."
Paige laughs, and the sound does something weird to your chest. "Nah, Coach is more of a 'make you run suicides until you puke' kind of guy. Much less paperwork than murder."
"Fantastic. So I'll die from academic execution AND athletic retribution. Perfect way to start a Tuesday."
"You always this dramatic before 9:30?" She's definitely smirking now.
"Only when I'm trapped in elevators with pretty girls who should be at practice."
The words are out before your brain can catch up with your mouth. Your eyes go wide, and you seriously consider trying to pry open the doors and jump down the shaft.
But Paige just grins, wide and dangerous. "Oh, so you think I'm pretty?"
"I think you're deflecting from the fact that we're stuck in a metal box that's older than both of us combined," you say, proud of how steady your voice comes out despite the internal screaming.
"And I think you're deflecting from the fact that you just called me pretty."
You pull out your phone again, desperate for a distraction. "No signal. Perfect. This is fine. Everything is fine."
"Could be worse," Paige says, stretching her legs out in front of her. Her feet almost reach where you're sitting, and you absolutely do not notice how long her legs are. "Could be stuck in here with Dr. Martinez."
That startles a laugh out of you. "Jesus, don't even joke about that. She'd probably make me defend my thesis right here."
"Yeah? What's it about?"
You look up from your phone to find her watching you with what appears to be genuine interest. "You really want to know?"
"Well," she gestures around the elevator, "it's not like I've got anywhere else to be."
You narrow your eyes. "If this is some kind of pity conversation—"
"It's not." She cuts you off, her voice surprisingly firm. "I'm actually curious. Plus, you look like you might spontaneously combust if you don't talk about something other than being stuck in here."
She's not wrong. Your leg has been bouncing non-stop since you sat down, and you're pretty sure you're about to wear a hole in your bottom lip from biting it.
"Fine," you say, setting your phone aside. "But remember, you asked for this. And if you fall asleep, I'm using that basketball as a pillow."
Paige's eyes light up with something that makes your stomach flip. "Deal."
"Okay, so you know how current basketball analytics are basically just glorified box scores?" You shift to face her properly, your earlier panic morphing into the kind of enthusiasm that usually makes people's eyes glaze over. "Like, sure, we can track points and assists and whatever, but that's just the obvious stuff."
"And there's more than the obvious stuff?" Paige asks, settling in like she's actually planning to follow your inevitably chaotic explanation.
"So much more." You pull your laptop out, balancing it on your crossed legs. "Like, imagine being able to track not just who made the shot, but all the little things that made that shot possible. The way players move without the ball, how defensive shifts create spaces that don't show up in any stat sheet.”
Your hands start moving as you talk, painting invisible patterns in the air. Paige has stopped spinning her basketball, her eyes following your gestures with an intensity that makes you warm all over.
"It's like..." You pause, trying to find the right words. "You know how in chess, sometimes the most important move isn't the one that takes the piece, but the three moves before that made it possible?"
She nods, leaning forward slightly. "Like a setup play."
"Exactly!" You're fully animated now, previous elevator crisis temporarily forgotten. "But current systems don't track that. They don't see how Player A moving left makes Player B's defender shift just enough that Player C can—"
The emergency speaker crackles to life, making you both jump.
"Hello? Anyone in there?" The voice sounds bored, like stuck elevators are just another Tuesday morning inconvenience.
Paige reaches over and hits the call button. "Yeah, we're here. Two people."
"Alright, we've got maintenance heading up. Should have you out in about fifteen minutes. Sit tight."
The speaker clicks off, leaving you both in that red-tinted silence again.
"Fifteen minutes," you groan, letting your head fall back against the wall. "Dr. Martinez is definitely going to have that cross ready."
"Hey," Paige says, and something in her voice makes you look at her. "Tell me more about your system. How do you track all those micro-movements?"
You blink at her. "You actually want to hear more?"
"Would I ask if I didn't?" She's got this soft half-smile that does dangerous things to your ability to think straight. "Plus, you get all..." she waves her hand vaguely, "sparkly when you talk about it."
"Sparkly?"
"Yeah, like you're lit up from the inside." She says it so casually, like she hasn't just made your heart do a full court press against your ribs.
You clear your throat, trying to remember how words work. "Right. Well, um, I've been working with the computer vision lab to develop these tracking algorithms..."
The next fifteen minutes dissolve into a blur of technical explanations and basketball theory. Paige asks surprisingly specific questions, and you try not to look too pleased every time she leans in closer to see something on your laptop screen.
When maintenance finally gets the elevator moving again, it feels too soon.
The doors open on the fourth floor – your floor – and you scramble to pack up your laptop, suddenly aware that you've spent the last twenty minutes word-vomiting about analytics to one of the best basketball players in the country.
"Thanks for, uh, keeping me from completely losing it," you say, standing awkwardly in the doorway. "And sorry about the whole..." you gesture vaguely at yourself, "chaos."
Paige stands too, and even in the normal lighting, she's unfairly pretty. "Chaos looks good on you."
Your brain short-circuits. "Can I get your number?"
The words tumble out before you can stop them, and you immediately want to crawl into the nearest trash can. But Paige just grins, that dangerous one that makes her look like she knows exactly what she's doing to you.
"Tell you what," she says, spinning the basketball on one finger because apparently she's physically incapable of not showing off. "Come to Friday's game. If you can spot one of those micro-interactions you were talking about..." She lets the ball roll down her arm and catches it smoothly. "Maybe you'll find out if I give my number to random girls I meet in elevators."
She backs into the elevator, maintaining eye contact until the doors close between you.
You stand there for a solid thirty seconds, staring at the brushed metal doors like they might reveal the secrets of the universe. Or at least explain how you went from having a mental breakdown about your advisor to what definitely felt like flirting with Paige Bueckers.
Your phone buzzes: another email from Dr. Martinez.
Meeting rescheduled to 2PM. Bring coffee. The good kind.
You look back at the elevator doors, then at your phone, then at the ceiling.
Looks like you're going to a basketball game on Friday.
The security guard at Gampel's student entrance looks at your ticket, then at you, then back at the ticket with the kind of suspicion usually reserved for people trying to use expired coupons at Target.
"This is— courtside," he says slowly, like maybe you don't understand what those words mean.
"Yeah, I, uh,” You shift your weight between feet, very aware of the growing line behind you. "I got it in an email?"
It comes out like a question because honestly, you're still not entirely sure this isn't some elaborate fever dream. The past three days have felt surreal, starting with Dr. Martinez actually smiling during your rescheduled meeting (turns out that fancy coffee shop downtown does make a difference) and ending with an email from [email protected] that made you choke on your morning cereal.
The security guard squints at his scanner like it's personally offending him. "These are usually reserved for—"
"Is there a problem?" A familiar voice cuts through the growing awkwardness, and you turn to find Mike, your elevator-lobby guardian angel, approaching with his signature "I've seen too much student nonsense" expression.
"Got a courtside ticket here, but—"
"Oh, yeah," Mike says, shooting you a look that's somewhere between amused and knowing. "This one's good. Let 'em through."
You mouth a 'thank you' as you pass, and he just shakes his head, muttering something that sounds suspiciously like "kids these days" under his breath.
The student section is already packed, a sea of navy and white that ripples with pre-game energy. But your ticket directs you past all that, down, down, down the steps until you're so close to the court you can smell the fresh polish on the hardwood.
"This isn't happening," you mutter to yourself, dropping into your assigned seat—which is literally close enough to high-five players coming off the court. "This is fine. Everything is fine. You're just casually sitting courtside at a sold-out game because you got trapped in an elevator and word-vomited about basketball analytics for twenty minutes. Totally normal Friday night."
The woman next to you, wearing what looks like several hundred dollars worth of UConn gear, gives you a concerned side-eye.
"Sorry," you say, slinking lower in your seat. "I talk to myself when I'm having an existential crisis."
She just nods and shifts slightly away, which, fair.
The arena fills up quickly, the ambient noise growing from a buzz to a roar. You try to look casual, like you totally belong here and didn't spend forty-five minutes earlier having a breakdown about what to wear to a basketball game when you're sitting close enough to be on TV. (You'd finally settled on jeans and a UConn hoodie, figuring if you're going to have a gay panic on national television, you might as well be comfortable.)
The teams come out for warm-ups, and your heart definitely doesn't skip when you spot number 5 leading the layup line. Paige moves like she's got some sort of cheat code for gravity, each motion fluid and precise. She's got her game face on, all focused intensity and practiced routine, but then—
She catches your eye as she circles back to the line, and her serious expression cracks just enough to let through a hint of that dangerous grin from the elevator.
"Oh, I am so screwed," you breathe, and the woman next to you shifts another inch away.
The game itself is a blur of motion and noise. You try to focus on analyzing plays like you promised, looking for those micro-interactions you'd rambled about, but it's hard to think strategically when Paige keeps making passes that shouldn't be physically possible. Your laptop's probably having a stroke trying to track all these movements.
By halftime, UConn's up by twelve, and you've filled three pages of your Notes app with what started as technical observations but has devolved into increasingly incoherent capslock about various impressive plays. The latest note just says "HOW DID SHE EVEN SEE THAT CUTTING GUARD??? PHYSICS???? HELP????"
"Nice analysis."
You nearly drop your phone. Paige is right there, pretending to adjust her shoes by the bench but clearly smirking in your direction.
"I'm being professionally thorough," you whisper-hiss back, trying to ignore how your pulse is doing full-court sprints.
"Uh huh." She stands up, heading back to the huddle, but not before adding, "You look good in UConn blue, by the way."
You spend the entire third quarter trying to remember how to breathe normally.
The fourth quarter is when you see it—one of those perfect setup plays you'd theorized about. Paige moves left, drawing her defender, while simultaneously nodding almost imperceptibly to her teammate. The slight movement causes a chain reaction: the defense shifts, creating a gap that shouldn't exist, and suddenly there's a perfect passing lane that materializes out of seemingly nowhere. The ball flows through it like water finding the path of least resistance, resulting in an easy layup that looks simple but was actually three moves in the making.
You're on your feet before you realize it, pointing and probably looking deranged. "That! That's exactly what I was talking about! The head fake was the trigger but it wasn't even about the—" You cut yourself off, becoming aware that several people are staring at you, including the woman next to you who's now practically in the next seat over.
As the final buzzer sounds (UConn by 18), your phone buzzes with a new email.
From: [email protected]
Subject: Nice catch
Body: 617-555-0147
PS - Your "professional analysis" face is reaaaaallly cute. Even from ten feet away.
You stare at your phone long enough that the arena starts to empty around you, afraid that if you look away the numbers might disappear like some basketball Cinderella story. The woman next to you finally gets up, edging past with the kind of caution usually reserved for wild animals.
"Sorry about all the,” you gesture vaguely at yourself.
She just pats your shoulder with grandmotherly sympathy. "Honey, I've been watching basketball for forty years, and I've never seen someone have a gay awakening quite that enthusiastically. Good luck with number five."
You're still sputtering when she disappears up the stairs, leaving you alone with a phone number and the distinct feeling that the universe is either laughing at you or playing matchmaker.
Possibly both.
Nah— Definitely both.
After what feels like an eternity of staring at your phone like it holds the secrets of the universe, your bladder kindly reminds you that you stress-drank an entire large iced coffee before the game. Fucking wonderful. You glance at the concourse—and immediately regret every life choice that led to this moment.
The bathroom line snakes around the corner like some kind of hydra-headed monster, full of people who clearly had the same brilliant beverage ideas you did. You briefly consider just holding it and dealing with the consequences later, but your body has other plans.
"This is karma," you mutter, taking your place at the end of the line. "This is definitely karma for all those times I made fun of people waiting in long bathroom lines."
The girl in front of you snorts. "If it helps, I'm pretty sure we're all suffering from the same coffee-based poor judgment."
Twenty minutes. Twenty. Entire. Minutes.
You've gone through every social media app twice, responded to three emails you've been avoiding, and played enough Candy Crush to rot your remaining brain cells by the time you finally emerge from the bathroom. The arena is practically empty now, just cleaning crew and a few lingering fans.
Your phone feels heavy in your pocket, that number burning a hole in your mind. You pull it out, staring at the digits like they might rearrange themselves into instructions on how to text your elevator-meet-cute crush without sounding like a complete disaster.
To: 617-555-0147
Hey, this is your favorite elevator analytics nerd. Great game tonight. That fourth-quarter setup play was chef's kiss
You hit send before you can overthink it, then immediately regret every word choice. Chef's kiss? Really? Maybe if you run fast enough, you can catch up to your dignity before it leaves the building entirely.
Your phone buzzes before you can fully commit to your shame spiral.
From: Paige 🏀
some of us are heading to murphy's for dirty shirleys if you want to continue your "professional analysis" in person? promise there won't be any elevators involved
You nearly trip over your own feet.
Will there be a formal presentation required? Should I prepare slides?
just your sparkling personality and maybe an explanation of how you knew that play was coming before I did 😉
Bold of you to assume I wasn't just gesturing wildly at a mosquito
we both know you're too much of a basketball nerd for that. meet you there in 20?
You pause at the arena exit, looking down at your very casual, very not-prepared-to-go-out outfit. But then again, when has anything about this situation been normal?
Your eyes shoot back to your phone and your frantic typing begins once again.
Only if you promise to explain how that behind-the-back pass in the third quarter didn't break several laws of physics
deal. and hey?
Yeah?
the hoodie really does look good on you
Your stomach shoots to your ass and you stand there grinning at your phone like an idiot until Mike, doing his final security rounds, walks by and shakes his head.
"Don't stay out too late, kid," he calls over his shoulder. "These love stories always get complicated when they start in elevators."
"That was literally ONE MOVIE," you shout after him, but he just waves without turning around.
You look down at your phone one more time, then up at the now-empty arena, and can't help but laugh. Somehow, a broken elevator, an understanding security guard, and a basketball player with a dangerous grin have turned your disaster of a week into whatever this is.
Time to find out if Dirty Shirleys taste better when you're sharing them with a girl who can bend physics on a basketball court.
Murphy's is exactly what would happen if a sports bar had a baby with a college town dive and raised it on a strict diet of neon signs and questionable decor choices. The walls are plastered with enough UConn memorabilia to fill a museum, if museums were into collecting signed napkins and mysteriously stained jerseys.
Your stomach is doing Olympic-level gymnastics as you push open the door, immediately hit by the smell of mozzarella sticks and what you really hope is just decades of spilled beer. The place is packed with post-game energy, and you're pretty sure your heart stops completely when you spot Paige at a corner booth, still in her game-day warmups because apparently she just casually walks around looking like a Nike ad.
"Analytics nerd!" she calls out, waving you over with that stupid grin that makes your brain cells commit mass suicide. "We saved you a seat!"
The 'we' turns out to be a collection of players who could probably stack on top of each other and touch the moon. You slide into the only open spot—right next to Paige, because the universe is clearly not done testing your ability to form coherent sentences today.
"Everyone, this is the elevator girl who knows more about our plays than we do," Paige announces, and your face goes hot enough to fry an egg. "Elevator girl, this is everyone."
"I have a name, you know," you manage, trying to ignore how her shoulder is pressed against yours in the crowded booth.
"Yeah, but 'elevator girl' has a better ring to it," she says, sliding a violently pink drink your way. "Plus, it's technically accurate."
"So is 'basketball menace' but you don't see me—" Your mouth snaps shut as her teammates start cackling.
"Oh, I like this one," says a girl you recognize as KK Arnold, grinning like she just got early Christmas. "She's got bite."
"She's got analytics," Paige corrects, but she's looking at you with something that makes your stomach relocate to somewhere in the general vicinity of Jupiter. "Speaking of which, you never did tell me how you caught that play coming."
You take a long sip of your Dirty Shirley to buy time, immediately regretting it when the sugar content threatens to give you instant cavities. "Holy shit, what's in this? Pure pixie stick powder?"
"Don't deflect," Paige says, poking your side. "We've got a whole team of analysts and none of them caught it. So spill."
"Fine, but only because you bought me diabetes in a glass." You shift to face her, accidentally-on-purpose letting your knee rest against hers under the table. "It was your head."
Her eyebrows shoot up. "My head?"
"You've got this tell," you say, getting into it now because apparently basketball analysis is your ideal flirting language. "This tiny little head tilt you do when you're setting up something sneaky. Like a cat about to knock something off a table, but make it basketball."
The entire table goes quiet, then erupts in laughter.
"She's got you there, P," Ice wheezes. "You do look like a menacing cat sometimes!"
Paige is staring at you with a mix of indignation and something else that makes your chest feel too small for your heart. "I do not have a cat tell."
"You absolutely do," you say, emboldened by sugar and the way her eyes keep dropping to your lips. "It's actually kind of cu—"
"SHOTS!" someone yells, and suddenly there's a tray of something alarmingly blue being passed around.
"Oh god," you mutter, watching the liquid slosh ominously. "Is this what happens when a Smurf dies?"
Paige nearly chokes on her drink. "That's terrible!"
"Just like these shots are about to be?"
She leans in close—too close, definitely too close for your remaining brain cells to function—and whispers, "Good thing I like terrible jokes."
Your stomach shoots to your ass (and possibly into another dimension) as she pulls back with a wink that should be illegal in at least forty-eight states.
"I hate you," you inform her, grabbing one of the Smurf funeral shots because if you're going to have a gay crisis in a college bar, you might as well commit fully.
"No you don't," she says with absolute certainty, and the worst part is she's right.
You really, really don't.
The night dissolves into a blur of increasingly ridiculous drinks (who knew they made something called a "Husky Howl"?), basketball stories that get more elaborate with each round, and Paige's thigh pressed warm against yours under the table. You learn that she stress-bakes before big games, that she once tried to teach her dog to play basketball, and that when she really laughs—like, really laughs—she snorts a little and it's possibly the cutest thing you've ever seen.
At some point, Azzi starts drawing up plays on napkins with increasingly chaotic drink-fueled creativity. Aaliyah Edwards keeps stealing her pen to "fix" the defensive rotations, while Nika Mühl throws wadded-up straw wrappers at both of them, critiquing their "absolutely trash spacing."
"No, no, look," KK follows imaginary lines with her finger across the napkin, accidentally dragging it through a puddle of spilled Shirley Temple. "If we run this here, and then—" she grabs your arm— "you're the defense, okay? Stand up."
"I absolutely am not," you protest, but Paige is already pulling you up with that stupid grin that makes your knees forget how joints work.
"Come on, elevator girl," she teases, positioning you near the booth. "Show us those analytics skills in action."
"I hate all of you," you mutter, but you're laughing as KK tries to demonstrate some elaborate defensive scheme that mostly involves her spinning in circles while Aaliyah provides unhelpful commentary.
"Your footwork is trash, bestie," Aaliyah calls out, now using maraschino cherries to build what appears to be a scale model of the paint.
"YOUR footwork is trash," KK shoots back, then promptly trips over nothing.
"Ladies, ladies," Paige steps in, all faux seriousness undermined by the way she can't stop grinning. "Let a professional show you how it's done."
She moves behind you, hands settling lightly on your hips, and your brain immediately flatlines. "See, proper defensive stance is all about—"
"Get a fuckin' room!" Nika yells, launching another straw wrapper that hits Paige square in the forehead.
"Actually," Paige says close to your ear, and your stomach does approximately seventeen backflips, "I've got that new analytics setup at my apartment if you want to see it. You know, for research purposes."
You turn to face her, very aware that her hands haven't moved from your hips. "Research purposes?"
"Mhmm." That dangerous grin is back. "Purely academic, of course."
"Of course," you manage, trying to ignore the way your pulse is doing a full drumline routine.
"Oh my god," KK groans from the booth. "This is worse than when Aaliyah tried to flirt with that barista using coffee puns."
"Hey!" Aaliyah protests. "That was smooth!"
"You asked if she wanted to 'espresso' her feelings!"
"And now we're dating, so who's the real winner here?"
Paige rolls her eyes at their antics, but her thumbs are drawing small circles on your hips that are making it very hard to focus on anything else. "So? Want to help me with some late-night analysis?"
Your stomach shoots to your ass as you meet her eyes, finding them sparkling with something that definitely isn't just about basketball statistics. "I mean, it would be unprofessional to turn down a research opportunity..."
"GET OUT OF HERE," Azzi throws a cherry that sails completely wide of both of you. "Your gay panic is ruining my plays."
"Your plays were already ruined," Nika points out, helpfully redrawing the vodka-smudged X's and O's with what appears to be lip gloss.
Paige grabs her jacket with one hand and your hand with the other, tugging you toward the door. "Don't wait up, nerds!"
"USE PROTECTION!" Aubrey shouts after you, causing several nearby tables to choke on their drinks.
"I mean, analytics can be very dangerous," you say with mock seriousness as you step into the cool night air, very aware that Paige hasn't let go of your hand. "All those numbers flying around."
"Absolutely hazardous," she agrees, pulling you closer as you walk. "Better stick together. For safety."
"For safety," you repeat, hoping she can't feel your pulse racing where your fingers are intertwined. "And research."
"And research," she echoes, giving you that sidelong grin that makes your heart forget how to beat properly. "Though I should warn you..."
"Yeah?"
She stops under a streetlight, turning to face you with eyes that sparkle with mischief. "My elevator works perfectly fine."
Your laugh echoes off the empty street. "Damn. There goes my backup plan."
"I'm sure we can find other ways to get stuck together," she says, and your stomach relocates somewhere in the general vicinity of Mars.
As you follow her down the quiet streets of Storrs, your joined hands swinging between you, you make a mental note to buy Mike the biggest coffee gift card you can afford.
Broken elevators might just be your new favorite thing.
Paige's apartment is exactly what you'd expect from someone who's somehow both a basketball prodigy and a complete dork—there's a literal trophy shelf right next to a collection of Star Wars Funko Pops, and her UConn jersey hangs framed above what appears to be a very elaborate gaming setup.
"Nice lightsaber," you say, nodding to the collector's edition propped in the corner.
"Nice deflection from how your hands are shaking," she shoots back, shrugging off her jacket.
"It's cold outside!"
"Uh huh." She disappears into the kitchen, and you hear cabinets opening. "Want some hot chocolate? I promise it's better than those nuclear waste shots Aubrey kept ordering."
Your stomach does a weird flip at how domestic this feels. "Only if you have—"
"Mini marshmallows and whipped cream? What kind of monster do you think I am?"
You follow her voice to find her already pulling out mugs, one of which has "Ball is Life" written in what appears to be glitter pen. "The kind that owns a bedazzled basketball mug?"
"First of all, Nika made this for my birthday and it's a masterpiece," she says, grabbing milk from the fridge. "Second of all, you're just jealous of my sophisticated taste."
"Oh, absolutely. Nothing says sophistication like..." you pick up a container from the counter, "unicorn hot chocolate mix?"
She snatches it back, fighting a grin. "It's limited edition!"
"Of course, my mistake. Clearly I'm in the presence of a fine dining connoisseur."
The kitchen fills with the smell of chocolate as she heats the milk, and you try not to stare at how she's rolled up her sleeves, forearms on full display as she stirs. You fail miserably.
"See something you like?" she asks without turning around, because apparently she has eyes in the back of her head.
"Just admiring your hot chocolate technique."
"My technique is excellent, thank you very much." She turns, holding up a can of whipped cream with a dangerous glint in her eye. "Want to see?"
Your throat goes dry. "I feel like this is a trap."
"Maybe." She takes a step closer, and your back hits the counter. "But you've been analyzing my moves all night. Shouldn't I get a turn?"
You're about to say something witty—really, you are—but then she's shaking the whipped cream can and all your brain cells collectively abandon ship.
"Don't you dare—"
The words are barely out before she's spraying whipped cream directly at your face. You squeal (not your proudest moment) and grab for the can, resulting in a brief wrestling match that ends with cream basically everywhere except in the actual mugs.
"You're such a menace!" you gasp, trying to wipe cream off your nose while she cackles.
"Says the girl who called me out on my head tilt in front of my whole team!"
"That's different! That was professional analysis!"
"Oh yeah?" She steps closer, effectively pinning you against the counter. "Analyze this."
Your heart stops as she reaches up, thumb gently wiping whipped cream from the corner of your mouth. Time seems to freeze, your entire world narrowing to that point of contact and the way her eyes drop to your lips.
"Your technique could use some work," you manage to whisper, and she laughs—that real laugh, with the little snort that makes your chest feel too small for your heart.
"Maybe you should show me how it's done then."
Your stomach shoots through the floor as you reach up, threading your fingers through her hair (definitely getting whipped cream in it but whatever), and pull her down to meet you.
She tastes like chocolate and whipped cream and something uniquely her, and you can feel her smile against your lips as she wraps her arms around your waist, pulling you impossibly closer.
"How's that for technique?" you murmur when you finally break apart, both breathing a bit harder.
"Hmm." She pretends to consider it, but her eyes are sparkling and her hands are still firmly on your waist. "Might need more data to make a proper analysis."
"Oh my god, you're actually worse than me with the nerd references."
"You like it," she says with absolute certainty, leaning in again.
"Maybe," you concede against her lips. "But only because you're cute when you're being smug."
She pulls back just enough to give you that dangerous grin that started this whole thing. "Just cute?"
"And modest, clearly."
"I'll show you modest," she growls, and then she's kissing you again, deeper this time, backing you further against the counter until you're pretty sure your soul leaves your body entirely.
The hot chocolate goes cold on the counter,
The hot chocolate goes cold on the counter, forgotten in the haze of warm laughter and sticky fingers. At some point, her lips found their way back to yours, sweet and a little messy, and now you’re on her couch, knees bumping against hers as you both settle into an almost tentative rhythm. She pulls back just slightly, her forehead resting against yours, and her breath fans across your lips in short, uneven bursts.
“You’re trouble,” she whispers, her voice low and a little breathless, her hands sliding up your arms to rest on your shoulders, thumbs brushing the curve of your collarbone.
“You like trouble,” you fire back, and there’s just enough of a spark in your tone to make her grin.
“I really do,” she admits, and before you can respond, her lips are on yours again, slower this time, deliberate. It’s not the playful teasing from before—it’s something heavier, something that makes your heart stutter in your chest and your hands curl into the soft fabric of her sweatshirt.
Her fingers tangle in your hair as she shifts, nudging you gently until your back hits the cushions. She hovers above you, her knees bracketing your thighs, her ponytail spilling over one shoulder as she leans down to kiss you again. This time, it’s a little rougher, her teeth catching on your bottom lip just enough to make you gasp, and the sound seems to light something in her eyes.
“You’re killing me,” you murmur against her mouth, and she pulls back just enough to look at you, her grin sharper now.
“Good,” she says simply, and her hands are on the hem of your hoodie, tugging it up. “This okay?”
You nod, swallowing hard, and she doesn’t wait for a second invitation. The hoodie’s off in a flash, tossed somewhere behind the couch, and her eyes sweep over you like she’s committing every inch to memory. Her hands are warm as they skim over your sides, fingertips brushing against bare skin and leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake.
“You’re gorgeous,” she says softly, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, and the way she says it makes you believe her, even with your heart trying to beat its way out of your chest.
“You’re not so bad yourself,” you manage, trying to sound casual even as she leans back down, her lips finding the curve of your jaw and then lower, pressing slow, open-mouthed kisses to your neck. Your hands find her waist, and you can feel the strength of her beneath the soft cotton of her sweatshirt, her muscles flexing slightly as she shifts against you.
“Should we,” she starts, her voice trailing off as she pulls back just enough to meet your eyes. There’s a question there, unspoken but clear, and you answer it by pulling her back down, your lips crashing into hers with more urgency than before.
“Definitely,” you say between kisses, and that’s all the encouragement she needs.
Her sweatshirt joins your hoodie somewhere on the floor, and her hands are everywhere—your waist, your thighs, the curve of your hip. It’s all a blur of heat and soft laughter and the kind of clumsy, sweet desperation that only comes with two people trying to figure out how they fit together.
The couch is too small, the angles all wrong, and at some point, she pulls back just enough to breathe, “Bed?”
You nod, and then she’s pulling you to your feet, her hand sliding down to lace her fingers with yours as she leads you toward her room. There’s something about the way she looks back at you, her grin soft and a little nervous, that makes your heart ache in the best way.
The moment you’re through the door, she’s on you again, her hands sliding up your back as she kisses you like she’s trying to memorize every curve, every shiver. The bed is soft beneath you, and her weight is solid and warm as she follows you down, her knee nudging between yours as she leans over you.
“You’re really good at this whole ‘research’ thing,” you tease, and she laughs against your collarbone, the sound low and husky and so incredibly her.
“Don’t distract me,” she murmurs, and her hands are on you again, her touch firm and sure and just a little shaky in a way that makes your chest swell with affection.
And when she kisses you again, slow and deep, you think, for the first time all week, that maybe the universe actually got something right.
The mattress dips under her weight as Paige pulls back just enough to take you in, her hair falling loose from her ponytail, framing her face in a way that feels criminally unfair. There’s a glint in her eye now, something teasing but focused, like she’s about to run the most calculated play of her life.
“You look nervous,” she says, her lips curling into that sharp grin that’s been undoing you all night.
“I’m not nervous,” you lie, though your voice cracks on the last syllable like your body’s calling you out.
She chuckles, low and throaty, and leans down, her lips brushing the shell of your ear. “Good. Because I’m about to ruin you, and I don’t need you overthinking it.”
Before you can process what she said, she’s sliding down your body with deliberate slowness, her hands dragging over your sides, down your hips, and hooking around the waistband of your leggings. She raises an eyebrow, silently asking permission, and the second you nod, she pulls them down in one fluid motion, leaving you feeling bare and achingly vulnerable.
“Holy shit,” Paige mutters under her breath, her eyes locked on you like she’s just stumbled on a masterpiece at an art museum. Her hands settle on your thighs, thumbs tracing small circles that send shivers racing up your spine. “You’re so—” She stops, shakes her head, and looks up at you with that cocky grin. “Nah, I’m gonna show you instead of telling you.”
Her lips press to the inside of your knee, soft at first, but as she moves higher, her kisses grow hungrier, her teeth grazing your skin just enough to leave you squirming.
“Paige,” you breathe, your voice barely more than a whisper, but she just hums against your thigh like she’s savoring her favorite meal.
“Patience,” she murmurs, her breath hot against your skin as she shifts lower. “You’re not going anywhere, are you?”
Your response gets caught in your throat as her mouth finally finds you, and every coherent thought you’ve ever had promptly evaporates. Her tongue moves with the same precision she has on the court, all calculated angles and devastating accuracy, and it’s like she’s figured out exactly how to dismantle you.
“Fuck—Paige—” Your hips jerk involuntarily, but her hands hold you steady, her grip firm enough to keep you grounded while her mouth does the opposite.
She pulls back just enough to look up at you, her lips glistening, and there’s a wicked glint in her eye that makes your stomach drop in the best way. “Hang tight,” she says, reaching toward the nightstand.
“What are you—oh my God,” you gasp as she pulls out a vibrator, the sleek little device gleaming like it was made for moments like this.
Paige winks, all confidence and mischief, as she turns it on, the low hum filling the room. “You trust me, right?”
You nod, because at this point, you’d probably trust her to lead you into a cult if it meant feeling like this.
“Good.” She leans back down, her mouth finding you again just as the vibrator presses against you, and the combination is so overwhelming it almost knocks the breath out of you.
Your hands fly to her hair, tugging as the vibrations send shocks of pleasure racing through your body, and her tongue works in tandem, teasing and relentless. It’s too much and not enough all at once, and you can feel yourself unraveling, piece by piece, with every calculated movement.
“Paige, I—” Your words dissolve into a moan that would make your ancestors weep, your thighs trembling as she doubles down, her grip on you tightening.
“That’s it,” she murmurs against you, her voice low and full of something that sounds dangerously like pride. “Let go, baby. I’ve got you.”
And just like that, you do. The orgasm rips through you like a tidal wave, leaving you gasping and clutching at the sheets as your vision whites out. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you swear you hear yourself speaking in tongues.
Paige doesn’t stop until your legs are twitching, and even then, she presses one last kiss to your inner thigh before sitting back with the most self-satisfied grin you’ve ever seen.
“Did I just—” You pause, catching your breath, your voice hoarse. “Did I just have an exorcism?”
Paige laughs, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. “If you did, I think I’m gonna need to start charging for holy services.”
“Fuck you,” you say weakly, though the way you’re still grinning probably ruins the effect.
She crawls back up to you, her body warm and solid as she settles next to you, her arm slinging over your waist. “Oh, you’re definitely going to want to do that next,” she teases, pressing a kiss to your temple.
And just like that, you’re laughing, still breathless and a little wrecked, but somehow more at ease than you’ve felt in ages. Paige grins down at you, smug but soft, and you think, maybe, that this is exactly where you’re supposed to be.
Sometimes the best love stories start with a malfunction.
Just don't tell Mike. He's smug enough already.
The End
#paige bueckers#wbb x reader#uconn wbb#uconn huskies#wbb imagine#wbb smut#paige bueckers x reader#paige bueckers fic#paige bueckers smut#paige bueckers x oc#paige bueckers uconn#uconn#paige buckets#wcbb x reader#wcbb smut#uconnwbb#paige bueckers fluff#uconn women’s basketball#paige x reader#bueckets
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My mom has gone full on Youtube Woo "natural cures" and I have no idea how to get through to her. Literally sitting at home in front of the tv playing video after video of pseudoscientific bunk and lapping it up... She's diabetic and a cancer survivor and I fear she's gonna do irreparable damage in her forays into the deep end...
Do you have any tips on reaching folks that are in this deep?
Regular reinforcement of evidence-based medicine as kind as you can make it whenever it comes up.
"Oh I heard about this coffee enema thing..." "There's not really any evidence to back that up, mom, and besides, it sounds pretty unpleasant."
"Oh I heard about how nightshades are poison" "That book doesn't have a lot of great evidence, plus here are the kinds of micronutrients that you can get from nightshades, they're important in your diet."
"Oh I'm not sure about vaccines anymore, the new ones are so scary" "Mom, I'm so glad you got me vaccinated, I think about how kids younger than me are at risk of measles and other issues because of vaccine hesitancy and I worry so much for them, I think you made the right decision when I was a kid and I'm grateful for it."
"Oh, but fluoride in the water can cause IQ losses in young children," "Mom, those studies aren't in areas where fluoride is added, they're in areas where it's naturally high and are way, way above what gets added here, plus look at you and me, we have been drinking fluoridated water and we're both smart."
IDK, it's miserable. Basically you go on natural news and learn about all the lies, then spend twenty times as much time learning about the debunkings for all the lies and then try to be nice when you tell them they're wrong.
Since your mom has had previous successful treatment from allopathic doctors call back to that; "but mom I'm so glad they were able to take care of your cancer - I know it was hard but I think you might not have survived if you hadn't trusted your doctors." "but mom, look at how much the medical science on diabetes has improved in your lifetime; i'm glad it's easier to manage now than it was when you were younger, and that there are better treatments being developed all the time; I don't think they're hiding things from us otherwise they'd still treat diabetes and cancer like they did in the 50s, and things are so much better than that."
Just. Try to be nice. Try not to attack her. Try to keep it light and offer cheerful arguments before changing the subject.
You don't want her to get defensive, you want her to consider you to be someone she can ask for information who won't make fun of her and doesn't think she's stupid.
Anyway. Life with my mother in law has been fun recently. She watched a youtube video and decided she must have gone into ketosis after fasting for twelve hours so she ordered a bunch of protein strips and I'm cooking for her a few times a week to guarantee that she's eating something other than canned chili beans.
So. You know. I feel you.
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Need to rant for a minute because even though I have very much been enjoying the fruits of my efforts learning how to sew vintage style clothes, I just swapped out old fatphobia (nice plus size vintage clothes never making it to stores) for new fatphobia (trying to find patterns). Cause it doesn't end at what clothes you're able to buy already made.
I finally bought a Friday Pattern Company pattern the other day, and man it made the bare minimum feel like I was being spoiled. The sizes go up to 7X (that's XL, XXL, 1X, 2X, etc, so there's 9 sizes above L) they had a thin and a fat model on the cover! Usually I'm barely lucky enough to get an XL, and I'm just expected to guess how it's going to look on my body. The majority of their patterns have two differently sized models on the covers, and all of them have that full range of patterns inside.
It is so hard to find good plus size patterns, even if they're available, many companies just scale up their mediums and I can't guarantee they're actually sized correctly for a different shape. As good as Friday is, them and other modern indie pattern companies aren't easy to find.
Okay well what if I went another step deeper, what if I forgo patterns all together and decide to be completely independent and draft things myself?
Then I'll need a plus size dress form. I got lucky and found one at an antique mall for 50$ but these are incredibly rare and more expensive than smaller ones. I'll need to learn how to draft patterns, something that was taught to me on a XS form by my college and nearly every tutorial out there. Drafting close fitting clothes for fat bodies is a completely different skillset, because all that extra fat is much squishier and shifts more. Measuring yourself correctly and getting the shape you're looking for is far more important. Before I even got there I'd need to sketch out what I wanted to make, right? Well the patterning book my family got me only shows you how to draw tall, skinny people. A beginner would have to look up their own drawing references and tutorials because what what supposed to be a super accessible beginner's guide to fashion has decided their body isn't normal enough for the baseline tutorial.
We're expected to be the ones who put in the extra effort. Digging to find the pattern companies that fit our shape and actually prove they can, paying extra in shipping or driving farther to pick them up. Having to search specifically for plus size tutorials for drafting and sketching. It's always treated like it's not part of the beginner's experience to be working with a fat body, that's just going to make people more frustrated and lost and less likely to pursue something they're excited about! Especially if it's in response to already being frustrated about the lack of clothing options.
We need a little positivity to this post so to end on a high note, here's me modeling the blazer I just finished with a shirt I made a couple years ago!
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/c347502d78279ebb453e9690ee536e44/e30951ee44c1b0d7-bd/s540x810/b861c596a27173813ea30b6664f4bb2c7727d45c.jpg)
Being able to finally wear clothes I really feel like me in has been an amazing confidence boost. It's not fair that there's so many roadblocks in the way for someone who looks like me who just wants to wear things they enjoy.
#fatshion#cw fatphobia#fatphobia#body posititivity#fat positvity#how the fuck is it hard to find clothes to fit MY body I see people with my body type all the damn time#stay strong out there#fashion#clowncore
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Just have one thing to say. Another headcanon about Will Solace.
He's insane with guns. Bro lived in Texas, and you're sharing he doesn't know how to shoot? Sure. The guy might have terrible aim in archery.
But with a gun? His accuracy is painfully accurate. He can shoot a bullet up against a shield, point it at the right angle. Make it bounce. And it goes flying and still hits the fucking target.
Like imagine, Will in battle. Forced to kill monsters and the first thing he brings to the battlefield is a celestial made bronze gun?
Shotgun, sniper, assault rifle, you name it. He will literally shoot every shot and some how hit a bullseye.
So imagine charging at some demi-god as a monster and suddenly some bullet hits you right at your weak spot and you drop dead.
And Will probably knows actually real life tips from guns.
Like you can find Will pointing his sniper. An inch above the target. Shoot. And the speed and air resistance if timed and aimed right. It will hit the target.
Cause if you think about the insane accuracy and calculation it takes for the bullet. If you want your bullet to go as far you want. You need to aim higher above the target for it to go farther.
So imagine some guy across atleast.. 50 footballl fields. Really far right? Will aims his snipers up high above the target. Waits for the the target to walk into his crosshair. And pulls the trigger— BAM! He falls dead.
The terror in the campers' eyes when they find the insane accuracy on the guy it's right in the head quick death.
It makes him feel like an assassin, and Nico is probably even smitten by it.
Bonus:
Will knows that with a headshot can kill you. So instead of going for the body he goes for the head. And when you put him in battle with a gun. Monsters will be dropping dead no matter how far or close they are.
#rick riordan#riordanverse#will solace#nico di angelo#pjo#will solace headcanon#pjo headcanon#solangelo
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Chapter 1- Anonymous Conversations
Unravelling Max's Mystery (Max Verstappen x Online Friend!Reader)
Series Masterlist
Summary- Y/N formed an unexpected bond with a boy behind the screen. He doesn't have many interest it seems, except for reading her stupid poems.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/b570018d96fb952a82e8e2ffa916af7d/64231ea487aa1b4f-1a/s540x810/b2251ef00d4f131cdaa3145c6063dd2652beb7bd.jpg)
{Reader's POV}
12/07/2012
Dear Diary, Stella is leaving for Canada tomorrow forever. Today was the last day of school before the summer break so I went to Stella's house after school. It's so shitty, how can she leave me like this and before the start of high school. I don't have any friends other than her, what am I supposed to do??? This isn't fair, first Faye moved back to her home country a couple years back and now Stella. It's like they don't even care about me. I made a google plus account so we can stay in touch. Actually everyone's on google plus, I'm just late to the party. I'm sure we'll still be close.
02/01/2013
OMG!! I think I'm in love. There's this new boy band, One Direction. Ava told me about them last year but I brushed her off saying they weren't my cup of tea, but OMG!!! They are fucking perfect and I love Niall so much. He's so cute and has the dreamiest eyes and his accent, I'm gonna faint. I bought the Take Me Home album yesterday!! I even put up their poster above my bed, hehe!! Sooooo, I may or may not be writing now. I think I'm gonna be an author. The stuff isn't great like Shakespeare but I'm sure I'll improve. I've written a couple poems and Aria read them and she thinks they are great. I'm gonna start uploading them on google plus. I made a separate page for it, under a pseudonym. If I really improve, maybe I can publish my work.
I was sat at my laptop, typing the latest story I came up with during lunch so I could upload it. There were a lot of people who were reading my work and even encouraged me. There is improvement, but then again, we can do better, I'm sure. My parents aren't very happy with how I'm wasting my time writing instead of focusing on my education since I'm in high school now. I finished typing the story and clicked the upload button, I got a comment on the post. It was from this guy, named Max, just Max. He always read all of my work and writes the nicest comments under them. I haven't spoken to him personally ever since my mother kept warning me about stranger danger and that it could be some 50 year old dude. But his comments are encouraging and make me want to write more. I hope he knows the kind of effect he's having on me.
My birthday is in a couple of days, I don't know what I'll do since I don't really have a lot of friends. Even Aria is away during that time, so I don't really have anyone to go out with. My parents are busy as always.
So, out of desperation or sadness, I don't know which one, I posted on google plus saying that it was my birthday. The first person who replied was Max as always. I really wanna know when this guy sleeps or how he gets any work done if he is online so much. He messaged me personally too, to wish me again and even asked what I did. I couldn't lie because my heart was heavy, so I told him. I literally just unloaded about not having any friends and spending the day alone because work was more important for my parents. He was so nice about it. He spent the next hour talking to me and cheering me up. He's apparently 15, from Netherlands. He loves cats and lives with his dad and sister. He sounds like a fun guy.
After that, both of us ended up chatting on google plus regularly. I would message him immediately after school and spend the next couple of hours talking to him. Some times, he'd be gone a couple weekends but it was no biggy. I'm sure he had other commitments instead of entertaining a dumb teenager.
Max's birthday is on 30 September. I wanted to be the first one, so I stayed up late to match the dutch timings and wished him. He replied a little while later. He wasn't very excited about it. I get it, maybe his friends aren't there or couldn't make it to his birthday. I was gonna cheer him like he cheered me up. I wish I could send him a present. He really was a light in dark time. When I had no friends in school I could rely on, he came like the knight in shining armour. I just want to be a good and reliable friend to him like he is to me. He is such a sweetheart. We've never spoken on call yet. I guess I'm still a little scared and we've only known each other for a few months. I'm gonna hold on that but Max is a genuinely nice person in my eyes. But his dad doesn't sound like the nicest person from what he says, but I can't tell him that his dad is shitty so I just read his texts.
18/12/2013
Dear Diary, Maxie is the cutest. I haven't seen or heard him yet but I feel like he is. Otherwise, why would he encourage me to follow my dreams? He was so understanding and gave great advice. You might wonder why I needed the advice, diary. I told my parents I wanna pursue a degree in literature and we had a huge fight since apparently I'm throwing my life away and I should try to get a proper degree that might get me a job. Apparently, I'm not thinking straight. I've been thinking about becoming an author for some time now, it's my one passion, I've realised. And if it means struggling, I would rather struggle and be happy than be in a dead end job. Just because they are some big shot business people doesn't mean I wanna do that do. ugh!!! I hate them. Maxie calmed me down honestly, he heard me out and told me it was okay to follow my dreams. I think he is such a good friend. I won't tell him that, he has a big ego as is. LOL!!
I've been gaining a lot of traction on my posts on google plus. I have a couple thousand followers but Max is the most active of them all. Max is so effortlessly funny. He did ask one time if we could talk on call, I told him that my microphone was broken. I'm still a little skeptical. I know, even though I'm literally sharing everything with him, I've never spoken on call or video with him. Maybe some day.
04/03/2014
Dear Diary, I got a new phone and a new number. The previous one was one of my parents multiple numbers but this one is my own. I feel like an adult, hehe!! I made a whatsapp, maybe I'll share my number with Maxie and we might start chatting on there. Google plus had become a bit of hassle and I'm not uploading on it like I used to. I usually only open it to talk to Max. I think it would be better to shift it to another service. He's been a little busy this year compared to the last, didn't tell me much but I think it has to do with him being in his final year of high school. Can't relate, but I hope I'm done with high school soon. It fucking sucks. But on the bright side, I've gotten close to Nia and Aria and I could call Aria my best friend but she considers Nia her best friend. I don't mind being her friend. I have Max anyways.
Max has been quite busy lately, but I don't blame him. I would be busy in my final year of high school too. Even with all that, he has taken time out to talk to me. I did share my number with him, so now instead of google plus, which is a barren wasteland, we text on whatsapp. I've suggested talking on call some time when he's free, which hasn't happened yet.
We had set up a time to talk, it was really early here but I didn't mind, I was up anyways. I couldn't wait to hear his voice. I was anxious as well, what if he's some pedophile; all these thoughts raced through my head when my phone rang. Max- Hi, Y/N! Y/N- Hey, Max!! How are you? Max- I'm good, what about you? Y/N- Yeah, I'm good too. haha!! This is so weird talking to you. Max- yeah, you sound pretty. Fuck was he flirting, is this flirting? A million thoughts ran through my head, no one's ever flirted with me before. I felt my cheeks heat up. Y/N- You sound nice too. I mean....you have a nice voice. Max- haha, thanks, this is the first time some one has said that. Y/N- soooo, what have you been up too?? You've been so busy lately. There was a pause on the other end. I heard shuffling. Max- yeah, I've been busy with stuff. I'll be done soon for a while now. Y/N- That's great I need my best friend back! The conversation flowed smoothly. It didn't feel like we were talking on call for the first time. I had a lot of fun talking to Max. He sounds like a teenager, much to my relief. He's just as funny on call as he is on text.
After that, we ended up calling each other regularly. Max would answer my calls whenever but sometimes I felt bad about calling him at the crack ass of dawn in Netherland so I would avoid calling him whenever. He is so kind and listens well but damn does he talk. Every one who knows me calls me talkative, if they heard Max their ears would bleed. But I like hearing him talk, he has the most random and vast knowledge, he's helped me write too many of my papers because I didn't have to research, I could just ask him; he's like a walking encyclopedia.
17/05/2015
Dear Diary, I think I'm in love. It's not some celebrity this time but I think it's Max. I don't even know that dude's last name but I'm in love. He not like the guys in school, he's so mature and funny and sweet and understanding and he supports me so much. I didn't know when or how but I think I love him. Obviously I won't tell him. It's prolly a crush since I have't dated anyone ever. I'll get over it, can't ruin my friendship over this. As is, he has gotten so busy. I think he is going to college. He didn't say it explicitly but why else would he be so busy right now if not applying for colleges. I don't know the dutch education system but I'm sure he busy pursuing higher education. He said he liked cars, I think he'll do something with cars. I didn't really ask in more details. I'm sure he'll tell me when he wants to. We have a chill friendship, we share when and what we want to. Alas, I hope this crush doesn't ruin my friendship.
09/08/2015
This is bad, my crush on Max has only gone on to increase. He's so kind to me, what am I supposed to do? Also he's the only one who can calm me down after a fight with my parents regarding my future. Sadly, he gotten so busy. He's gone for a while every few weeks. But lately he's been free. We've been talking a lot. He sounds a lot more rested lately too. I'm sure college is tough. But he's strong and I know he'll do it.
[Little did Y/N know, Max was busy racing across the world in Redbull's junior team. He was in his first year as a formula one driver, hence he was so busy. Max had no intentions of telling her, he liked being just Max, a guy from Netherlands who could talk to her. He enjoyed the disconnect he got with her]
#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 x you#formula 1 fanfic#f1 x y/n#formula 1 fic#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 x reader#f1 fluff#f1 angst#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one fanfiction#formula one x y/n#formula one fluff#formula one angst#formula 1 x you#formula 1 fluff#formula 1 angst#max verstappen x you#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen fluff#max verstappen angst#mv1 imagine
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golden retriever boyfriend ! itadori yuji
yuji x male reader
-> very short but i wanted to show smoe love to this cutie wootie patootie.
- oh my fucking god. the absolute sweetest boyfriend i fear. this guy literally praises the ground that you walk on and is at your beck and call as if you were a deity and he is your servant. your day is just him constantly asking if he can do anything for you to make you happier, usually the response is just his company, which he blushes and playfully smacks you for.
"honey, do you wanna go to the store to buy some more snacks before we binge watch?" yuji asked, a wide grin on his face, "gojo-sensei forgot to take back his wallet he leant me from my last mission, so we can splurge and he won't even notice!"
you laughed at his eagerness, but shook your head. instead, you opened your arms up for him to cuddle himself into and said, "i just want to spend some time with you, i missed you,"
without wasting another second, yuji jumped into your arms and peppered kisses all over your neck, jaw, and face, "i missed you even moreee!! let's turn on your show already, then," yuji contentedly closed his eyes, breathing in your scent as his cheek was pressed against your chest.
he was in heaven.
- constantly thinking of you. he's always seeing things on the street that remind him of you, always wondering if you'd like something he picked out for you from a street vendor, will constantly be talking nobara and megumi's ear off about, "oh, [name] really likes that restaurant! should i buy him something to go?" "haha, me and [name] watched that movie last night and he really liked the main character's best friend, even though i liked the main character more!" "nobara, do you think [name] is more handsome wearing a bracelet or necklace? huh? well, i think he lookes handsome either way, but i don't have money for both so i need someone unbiased to choose."
they think they've heard enough, but they very clearly haven't since yuji always goes above and beyond in talking about you.
you're there to hear the praises he sings for you 50% of the time, but the other 50%...poor nobara and megumi because they gotta deal with his yappin ass. he never shuts up in general (he's just a bby) but when he gets on a tangent talking about you ... it's like this guy doesn't need to breathe.
he's just so happy and content with the relationship you guys have he can't help but make it known to everyone around!!! another thing is he could care less if it annoys the fuck out of everyone around him, he just nods his head at their annoyance and then goes, "well, anyway, haha, as i was saying before i was interuppted!"
literally inumaki probably has had to restraint himself from telling yuji to "shut the fuck up" because he just wouldn't shut up.
- yuji likes to make it obvious to you how loyal of a boyfriend he is. he barely glances at other people on the street if he's with you. he has actual hearts in his eyes when he even sees you in his periphereals, if you are right in front of him, dear lord save him.
the two of you were walking down the street to the conveince store. your pinkies were linked together as yuji listened to you talk about your day and the training you had to do. at one point you were complaining about gojo's antics as an irresponsible teacher and yuji couldn't help but think how adorable that annoyed look on your face was.
the pout on your lips, even you rolling your eyes was so attractive to him. he was enthralled by your story and, of course, you, he didn't even realize that he walked right into the clear glass door of the store.
as he face planted staight into the wall, you immediately are fussing over if he is alright. he turns to you with a grin, nodding his head to show he was fine. but the smallest drop of blood coming from his nose said otherwise.
and as you fretted over his very minor injury, he couldn't help but sigh in content as he thought you tending to him was the most heartwarming thing he has ever experienced.
"you'd be a great nurse, [name]," he says, not minding the subtle glare you threw at him, "your hands are so soft and gentle-"
"they're about to smack you if you don't shut up," you gruffly replied, but yuji wasn't deterred at all in singing your praises even more.
"you're so kind to me," he says with a dreamy look in his eyes.
once again, you sighed heavily at your boyfriend's attitude, pinching his ear, "quit it, yuji! what if you actually got hurt, you're lucky it was just a rush of blood. you need to be more focused, especially if we're gonna be out there fighting curses,"
yuji, unfortunately, doesn't take any of your warnings seriously. as he presses his cheek to the palm of his hand, he just stares at you lovingly, "what do you think? should we buy you a cute little nurse outfit and i can be your sick patient? you'd look so handsome in scrubs!"
another pinch to his ear, "yuji! are you even listening?!"
- has this really adorable habit of just getting lost in whatever you're saying and blinking owlishly at you with a very cute smile on his face. it's a really adorable sight, but when you're actually trying to tell him something, he's just looking at you like ":3" and not at all listening to what you're saying.
"gojo-sensei said to be extra careful because the blades were just sharpened, alright?" you advised, looking at the myriad of cursed tools that you were going to be training with. "hm, what do you think suits your fighting style more, babe?"
yuji only tightened his grip around your waist, burying his face into your neck as he was just too focused on your body against his to even begin formulating an answer to your question. even though it was a fairly easy question to answer.
"itadori yuji," you warn, sensing that he was spacing out once again.
"noooo," he whines, squeezing you tight, "'m your baby, not itadori yuji," he complains, exaggerating his name as if it were the worst sound in the world.
"well, you're going to stay itadori yuji until you answer my question," you say, wondering why you had to disclipline your boyfriend as if he were your child. you soften up though when you hear him whine once again, burying his head deeper into your neck.
ruffling his hair as a way of comforting him, ultimately caving in to his whines and attitude, you softly say, "baby, can you just help me out really quick?"
"kisses after i do?"
"of course,"
yuji is grinning like a fool and is suddenly very intrigued in the conversation on what curse tool works best with his fighting style.
GIVE ME ITADORI YUJI AS MY BOYFRIEND and id treat him like a king, thats all im saying. he deserves so much love, please.
#jjk male reader#itadori yuji male reader#itadori male reader#yuji male reader#yuji x male reader#itadori x male reader#golden retriever boyfriend#itadori fluff headcanons#yuji fluff headcanons#jjk headcanons#jjk x male reader#jujutsu kaisen male reader#jujutsu kaisen x male reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#male reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff
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hey i really like your
Writing and this is a request so can you do sae byeok and se-mi gf hcs 🤭 fem reader
A/N: UGHHH YESSS! I had such a fun time writing this! Warnings: Very suggestive at times.
HCs on Dating Sae-Byeok & Se-Mi
Sae-Byeok:
-Sae-Byeok is the kind of girlfriend who would love you silently.
-She's not keen on physical touch or affirming words, but instead chooses to show her devotion through her actions.
-Partially, this is because she has made enemies after betraying Deok-Su and doesn't want them to see you as another pawn to win over.
-But, her being outwardly affectionate--especially in public--just isn't in her nature.
-Of course, there are exceptions.
-Sometimes, if Sae-Byeok is feeling affection-starved, she'll silently scoop you up in her arms and pepper you with kisses.
-When you nuzzle closer and ask her what she's doing in between giggles, she'll simply shrug her shoulders and pull you closer to her chest.
-"I missed you."
-Of course, there are other times where she'll show affection while having more...nefarious reasons.
-If someone is trying to flirt with you?
-Trust that Sae-Byeok will be all up in their face.
-How dare they put their hands on her girlfriend?
-If they brush her off and continue their antics though, that's when she'll really get dangerous.
-In an instant, Sae-Byeok will push them off of you and plant a rough, bruising kiss on your lips.
-You're hers.
-(There is a 50/50 percent chance that she'll come home later than usual, covered in blood).
-Don't worry though, it isn't hers.
-But, fortunately for you, the way she shows you her love isn't usually so violent.
-Her love language is Acts of Service, after all. When you're with her, you'll be hard-pressed to ever have to go through anything hard all alone.
-Or ever accidentally neglect yourself again, for that matter.
-The second you come step through the doorway? Sae-Byeok will immediately give you water and demand you rest. When you're sick? You'll be on bedrest, being tended to a little Cheol dressed in a doctor's outfit while Sae-Byeok cooks you some chicken soup.
-If you're feeling particularly tired, it isn't uncommon for you to find yourself sitting on her lap while she massages your aching muscles.
-She's also a good listener, and if you're having a bad day she'll always be there to act as your rock.
-Quality time is another way Sae-Byeok shows how much she adores you.
-She'll partake in your dumb little hobbies, and watch your favorite movies with you.
-If the three of you are all free, Sae-Byeok will take you and Cheol to the park, letting him run around while she chats with you.
-On cold, rainy days where you're both trapped in bed, Sae-Byeok will silently wrap her arms around your waist and rest her forehead on your shoulder.
-She's always softer in these moments, and more than once has murmured about how much she fucking loves you as she plants kisses all over your cheeks and pulls you ever closer to her.
-As stoic as she is on the outside, she all but melts when she's around you.
-It's a stark contrast; One moment she's glaring at whatever idiot is blabbering her ear off, and the next she has a little smile on her face when you appear in her vision.
-Her gentleness partially appears during the times when you're intimate, as well.
-Sae-Byeok is always so focused on your needs, choosing to place your pleasure above her own.
-She makes it her life's mission to find out what truly makes you whimper and squirm.
-If you like it when she eats you out?
-Fuck, you'll be moaning against your seat every other day while your girlfriend is between your thighs, her face buried underneath your mound.
-If you cum before you're allowed to, she'll nip your inner thigh and plunge two more fingers into your aching cunt.
-If you want to cum so much then fine, she'll go even faster and become even more merciless.
-The sight of you gradually losing all sense of composure as she rubs your fingers over your poor, overstimulated clit alone is enough to drive her over the edge.
-If you beg her to stop, she'll only go even faster.
-After all, isn't this what you wanted?
-[Of course, if you call out your safeword she'll stop immediately and hop into the aftercare. Sae-Byeok never wants her love to suffer].
-Sometimes, Sae-Byeok will pull out her thick, curved strap and fuck it deep inside your abused cunt.
-You'll be bent over, slick trailing down your thighs as your walls stretch to try and take all of her cock.
-Oh, how she adores seeing you squirm.
-Of course, if you want to return the favor, Sae-Byeok is all too eager to oblige.
-Just as often, you might find yourself kneeling in front of your girlfriend's pussy, greedily lapping up her juices as she pulls on your hair.
-...Sometimes, you may even have a collar on your neck.
-You're her good little girl, aren't you?
-Everytime Sae-Byeok is done with you, you'll be utterly drenched in cum and be covered in hickeys.
-Not even wearing a turtleneck can cover them all.
Se-Mi:
-Oh boy, you are in for a wild ride.
-Se-Mi is somewhat of a wild card, and 25% of the time you may be dragged along to a random bar that piqued her interest.
-But...she still manages to make it fun.
-If you don't like to drink, she'll escort you onto the dance floor and spin you around, dancing manically.
-She doesn't give two fucks on what other people think of her; She's only here to have fun, not cater to a whole crowd of strangers.
-Se-Mi likes to unleash that chaotic side within you, and for you to live your life to its fullest.
-Of course, if you truly don't like to party, Se-Mi won't force you to go.
-As you're laying in bed, she'll periodically send you silly selfies of her antics to keep you updated.
-When Se-Mi comes home, she'll always bring a little trinket or snack for you to enjoy.
-She likes to think of it as a little token of her love for you.
-And, because she loves parties so much, be prepared for her to go all out on your birthday.
-Gifts, cake, champamgne, you name it!
-One time, you stepped through the doorway and was immediately greeted by confetti and the sight of your girlfriend holding a comedically giant sized teddybear.
-If you miss a relative or friend, then Se-Mi will jump through hoops to get you two to reunite on your birthday.
-Se-Mi will spare no cost to spoil you rotten.
-Of course, Se-Mi can also be quiet when you need her to.
-Sometimes, she'll go on silent walks with you before the sunset, so that the two of you can bask under the last bits of the sun's warmth.
-Other times, Se-Mi will sit with you amongst the grass, intertwining your hands as she stares at the birds.
-Unlike Sae-Byeok, one of Se-Mi's love language is absolutely physical touch.
-She'll always be touching you, whether that be caressing your cheek or squishing your breasts.
-When you're binging movies on a lazy afternoon, Se-Mi will crawl on top of you to rest her head on your chest.
-During dates, Se-Mi isn't shy to kiss you.
-More often than not, her hand was probably discretely exploring your thigh, anyways.
-She likes to cup your face in her palms while her tongue prods against the entrance of your mouth.
-It signifies to Se-Mi that you're hers.
-Oh, and did I mention that she has a crazy sex drive?
-You can't really blame her; She thinks you're too fucking hot for your own good.
-When you're at home, Se-Mi will pin you to the wall, whispering filthy nothings into your ear as her hand tears away your skirt.
-It's not that you'll be needing it, anyway.
-Se-Mi is definitely a mean top.
-On a normal day, she'll be edging you for hours on end, drinking in your pretty moans like her life depended on it.
-Oh, but if you're bratty?
-Fuck, you'll be bent over her knee as she slaps your ass. Se-Mi will teasingly slide her finger over your wet hole, but won't go any further until she makes you apologize.
"Mhmm, Se-Mi, please!"
"Not now, sweetheart. Wouldn't it be too unfair for me to touch you now? It's not like a little brat like you deserves it."
-Se-Mi loves fucking you silly.
-She wants you to be her dumb little bitch who only can focus on her fingers in your cunt and begs for more.
-Thoughts? What are those? The only thing that should be on your mind is her.
-If you're up for it, she'll bring out the ropes and tie you onto the bed, keeping your legs spread for her.
-A gag will be stuffed into your mouth and your hands will be cuffed, but Se-Mi won't blind you.
-Oh, why would she? Se-Mi likes to fuck you hard enough to make you cry.
-Unless you withdraw your consent, Se-Mi won't stop until sunrise.
#squid game fanfic#se mi x reader#my fics#se-mi x reader#ask answered#sae byeok x reader#sae byeok/reader#women are so pretty#kang sae byeok x reader
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Random Batfam Headcanon's #15:
(continuation of Headcanon #12)
One of Steph's personal favorite posts was a video she posted titled "Ranking my Father(in-law)'s former lovers" and she has an entire Tier maker list created, that doesn't use any real pictures of the Lovers, just out of context photos that only people in the know would know.
Selina's picture is just a random picture of her actual Cats ("She's Chatty, she's able to help me whenever I forget my Keys, She's able to Acquire the best Christmas presents! A Tier.")
Thalia's is a picture of the stereotypical Witches Cauldron filled with a green liquid ("She's Rich, she has an army of Assassins at her beck and call, Dad was apparently Happy when he was with her??? Unfortunately, she's in a very patriarchal dominant home life with her birth family, her father forcibly broke off the relationship, and she STILL hasn't sent me a Birthday Gift!!! C Tier. Buuuutttt she mothered the current Robin, so, for him, I'll bump her up to a B.")
Harvey's picture was just a ¢50 piece she found while walking around that had a lot of grime on one half of the coin ("I'm not fully sure about this one, I never met them when they were sane, but apparently they were really good friends. It's not going so well now, so I'll put it at a C Tier.")
Harley's Photo was literally just a Selfie of Steph with Harley's Jacket draped over her head ("This one is being put into an immediate D Tier, not because they weren't Wholesome (I've heard stories), but Because she is finally happy and in a stable relationship with her own Girlfriend, and honestly me and my own relationship partner view them as Goals for our own relationship. She's also currently his therapist, so D Tier.")
Steph was completely silent as she moved The random Image of a Joker Card to a Tier Below F titled "The most Toxic relationship you will ever see"
The internet exploded when people noticed the 2 images at S Tier, one of them being Wonder Woman's Logo, and the other being Superman's iconic S emblem, but a pair of wedding bands were laid atop the S. ("Look, Princess {referring to the WW Logo} is both his second eldest's favorite person in the world, but she is also the biggest female goal any of us can have. They are adorable, they are funny, this man had to serenade a group of people just so he can save her ass. If that's not love, what is? S Tier. Now, as for the Couple {referring to the Superman Logo}, Dad has somehow been shepherded into an existing relationship, and I think the wife in that relationship just assumed that they also got our dad as a package deal with her own legal husband. Yes, they had THAT bad of a pining for each other. I, sadly, was not around to see the forming of the relationship, but it was reportedly the most awkward 3 years of Coworkers pining after each other anybody has ever seen, and if it wasn't for the Couples Youngest inheriting the "special trait" of the husband of that relationship, we'd be sat here questioning who the father was. It's also, like, the biggest bragging right, so S Tier.")
And then finally there was just a picture of a Bat. ("This man has an almost unhealthy relationship with the Bats in his mancave. He's named all of them. Well, his eldest named all of the original ones, he's just... Continued to name all the new one's that migrate into the cave?? He gets them vaccinated and takes them to the Vet??? B Tier, I'm putting them above Robin's Mom.")
#random batfam headcanon's#batfamily headcanons#dc batfam#batfam headcanons#batfamily#batfam#stephanie brown is an agent of chaos#stephanie brown#superbat & Lois#superbat#wonderbat#superman#clark kent#lois lane#diana of themyscira#diana of themiscyra#diana prince#wonder woman#harley quinn#talia al ghul#selina kyle#bruce x selina#bruce x talia#harvey dent#batman#dc joker#dc bruce wayne#bruce wayne#Batman treats the Bats in the Batcave like they're pets#Stephanie Brown's Social Media Saga
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Satan, the courts and classism against imps.
My mind is going through 50 different thoughts right now, so I thought I'd make a post on the classism seen within the courts.
Short answer: Satan and the people within the courts are quite classist, with there only being a few examples of people not being classist within the court sequences.
Long Answer:
Let's start with the first instance of classism we see within the courts, Loona gets treated differently because she's a hellhound. Sure while they share a few rough similarities with dogs, and people do put muzzles over dogs to prevent them from biting, that really isn't needed here in the slightest, it just really feels like Loona is getting degraded here, being treated worse than the imps, with Loona having more restraints than the imps purely because she's a hellhound and nothing else.
Blitz objects to what Andrealphus is saying, and he's almost instantly told to shut up, having a magical gag or whatever that this placed over his mouth, not letting Blitz make his own arguments, with the courts instead letting the higher-up Goetia speak his mind without allowing Blitz to object to any of it.
Same thing happens again with Moxxie, Moxxie objects to what Andrealphus has to say, and he also pretty much instantly gets told to shut up as well, by Satan himself.
Even further unnecessary restraints on Blitz, because he's naturally objecting to what Andrealphus is saying, further showing that he doesn't really get a voice in the trial, not being allowed to speak his mind and object to what Andrealphus is saying.
A bit of corruption as well, what this shows is that deals like this can be made with witnesses to give testimony, which just opens up a whole can of worms of corruption, considering Andrealphus knows that the witness is lying here, he's basically told Striker to go against Blitz in exchange for immunity, when they both know Stella hired him.
So, while I do admit only Striker and Andrealphus were the ones that knew Striker was told to commit perjury, it still proves the system is inherently exploitable for the people of higher-class, screwing over the people at the bottom in most cases. The court system is rigged for the upper-class. Hell, everything I've mentioned so far shows that the system is rigged against the lower-class, and I'm getting back to this point later in the post.
This scene is the only example of anyone who actually speaks up in favor of Blitz, the only one, and it's incredibly short-lived as Mammon very quickly interrupts the two to make a classist statement.
Mammon instantly proceeds to interrupt them by saying they 'enjoy slumming it with the lower class plebs.', and calls Vortex a 'mutt', purely because he's a hellhound, more casual classism in the court, although they both do fire back at Mammon because well, Mammon is being a cunt here.
Satan calls Blitz an 'Imp bastard' and instantly proceeds to ignore any possible due course that should come with court proceedings, aka, the 'hours of testimony' purely because he's hungry and wants to eat lunch. Instead being completely willing to execute an 'imp bastard' with zero due course because again, he's hungry and wants to eat his lunch. Only Bee, Asmodeus, Moxxie, Millie, Loona and I presume Vassago as well actually want the due course to happen, with literally every other demon in the room (with most of them being Goetia members) voting to prematurely execute Blitz, an 'imp bastard' as Satan puts it. (Yet another example of how the court system is rigged against imps and the lower-class)
'You should've remained in the place that is expected of a low-class imp.' is basically what this scene amounts to. 'When lesser demons try to step out of line.'
And we having people literally celebrating the execution of a few imps and a hellhound, which really gives me the vibes that they're being incredibly classist here as well.
'To remind all imp-kind why you should never challenge the people above you in the hierarchy, why you should never challenge the more powerful people to you, why you should never challenge our authority.'
This screams of authoritarian behavior (is that the right word in this context?), to attempt to scare the imp-kind into being little obedient creatures to them, to scare the imp-kind into staying in their expected place in hell's society, which is obviously very much classist.
Even if Satan is completely lying about this claim, it is still incredibly fucked up and classist that he says he created them to be obedient, just straight up admitting that he expects and demands obedience from imps, not being afraid of using his powers to do so as well.
Outside of Satan just straight up saying he doesn't give a shit about Blitz's final words, Blitz drops a mention of the hierarchy, the hierarchy enforced by the Goetia and above, the hierarchy that forces imps and such into the place that the Goetia and above want them to be in, and that Blitz was trying to rise above that place that them all forced him into.
This alongside Satan admitting that he doesn't care about Blitz's final words, just further shows us how little Satan, and by extension, how little the court system cares about what the lower-class have to say, with that being something I've shown multiple times throughout the post already.
Stolas does lean into the inherent classism the Goetia has during the song, although he's not being classist here to be a dick, it's all an act to save Blitz from execution, but it does to add the general classist vibes of the court, and you clearly see Blitz getting quite pissed off during this part of the act as well.
And Satan quite literally just says that he's the judge, jury and executioner in the courts, leaning further into the authoritarian behavior that I mentioned earlier, because he literally says that Satan himself is the law, which is obviously quite authoritarian.
'You are demon royalty, sooooooooooo... your life has actual worth.', which quite heavily implies that Stolas' life only has actual worth because of the fact he's royalty, a prince. Which also implies that anyone below demon royalty, such as imps and hellhounds for example, their lives don't have any actual worth as Satan calls it. Plus, Blitz gets executed for the same crime Stolas took the blame for, and Stolas' punishment is lesser, only losing his powers, title and such for 100 years instead, and while you can't apply Stolas' punishment to Blitz, the fact the punishment is different for the two of them shows a clear double standard, all because Stolas' life has actual worth, while Blitz's does not to Satan.
Finally, we have the news article Blitz pulls up on his phone, "making them the first hellborn to ever survive after being sentenced to death by a deadly sin.", Blitz is a historical exception, a true one-of-a-kind here, but the fact Blitz is the first, purely because Stolas took responsibly for it still speaks volumes to the lack of care and lack of due process within the courts, and further speaks to Satan's ruthlessness and classism as well. With this further backing up my point that the system is generally rigged against lower-class demons, like imps.
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/434e9104d91d811d0acc27e5ba7dca08/0e8a7d031fd37956-69/s540x810/9e6a5936c4f63357acf4de1f4593e2ca21c2a126.jpg)
In conclusion: I have shown in multiple ways how Satan, and most of the people within the courtroom contain very classist views, making the court system extremely classist as a result, and I also believe I've shown pretty well that the court system is generally rigged against against lower-class demons, and generally rigged in favor of higher-class demons, like demon royalty for example, with me showing exactly how Andrealphus' and Striker's deal inherently makes the court systems exploitable and corrupt, again, generally in favor of the higher-class demons.
Yikes, even Phoenix Wright couldn't save this kangaroo court, and that's saying something if you've fully played through Spirit of Justice.
#helluva boss#blitzø#blitzo#stolas#helluva boss stolas#helluva boss mammon#helluva boss asmodeus#helluva boss beelzebub#loona helluva boss#moxxie helluva boss#helluva boss millie#helluva boss satan#helluva boss andrealphus#helluva boss analysis#helluva boss meta#helluva boss spoilers
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Okay I watch TF1 and I have an idea
What if B 127 ( or Bee ) wasn't alone down there, granny predicon is a placebo prime but not really as they are in charge of making sure new spark and bots are born from the forge with care before thrown out down there when having their memory ripped out and only their dragon firm as instincts to self preservation
In a way with the amnesia she just dose their best to take care of Bee even scrapped any energon to keep him feed
Awwww, i like this idea. I am gonna do this in my own way but it stays along with you're reqest. So hope you love ot or like it!
B-127 (TF1) X PREDACON READER
It was a normal day for B-127. Watch trash, separate anything that's not, dream about anything. So when a giant form dropped from the trash shoot, almost destroying it in the process, it definitely surpsied B-127.
He stopped the belt and looked at the mass. He saw it was some cybertronian but an old one. He pulled them off the conveyor belt and leaned them up against the wall. He checks them over and finds they are still online.
So, intel they wake up, he made sure they are warm and tell them about his stories. Even though they can't hear him while offline, it doesn't stop him.
When they do wake up, B-127 had to calm them down since they woke up confused and had their blasters out. When he finally calmed them down enough to speak to them, he finds out their name was (Y/N) and that they were the last remaining predacon.
B-127 asked more about them, but (Y/N) said they don't remember. So, this is where their story started.
(Y/N) stayed in the lower level with B-127, even if the place was extremely cramped for them. They shared their energon snacks to B-127 since they were fine on it, and to be honest. (Y/N) was old, extremely old, so she had experience with raising sparklings, and Bee was no different from a sparkling. So she gave all her snacks to him, only eating when she needed them.
She would remember her dreams and tell B-127 them, though she didn't know that those dreams were memories.
(Y/N) was extremely patient with Bee as well. She could sit and listen for hours and never get bored. She understood that being alone, away from others, can make you a talker or a loner.
When Orion and D-13 arrived down there, they were met by a very, very, VERY mean looking old bot. When B-127 interduce themselves and welcomed them, (Y/N) did relent a bit.
She still hit Orion with her tail when he killed Steve.
When the message played and they all agreed to go on the mission, (Y/N) actally tried to tell Bee not to go. Since she dosent not want him in danger.
Though, B-127 dident listen and went with Orion and D-13. (Y/N) couldn't follow them since she couldn't climb up the shoot without breaking it. So she stayed where she was.
While they were away, she kept doing her and B-127's job. When the video footage of B-127 and the other 2 bots are in danger, this made her mad. Extremely mad.
(Y/N) was no longer in control. Her instincts came out and she forced herself to transform into her predacon form (The picture above) and she tore her way out from sub zero 50
(The story is gonna change a bit, so hate me if you want)
When Orion, B-127, Elita-1 and D-13 were on their knees with the high gaurd in front of Sentinel Prime, about to be executed. They watch how the ground shook and out came a gaint predacon. Bigger then the trains cybertron used.
Everyone watches how the predacon flies to the tower and blew its fire. Killing many gaurds and making Sentinel Prime flee with Airachnid.
The high gaurd, Orion, elita-1, and D-13 look at the predacon in fear when it latches on the edge of the tower and its head coming into the room.
B-127 recognized the optics of the predacon and gasped
Guys! It's (Y/N)! (Y/N)! What is this alt-form!
(Y/N) makes a small purr noise. Their instincts are happy to see their B-127 is safe. Orion and D-13 soon leave to find Airachnid and Sentinel Prime while B-127 and Elita-1 go with (Y/N).
When Orion becomes a Prime and Megatron is banished, (Y/N)'s memories are restored by optimus, giving them the matrix to restore their memories.
Now that (Y/N)s memories are back, she helps Optimus with being a prime by guiding him and stating B-127's now named Bee, friend.
#headcanon#x reader#tf one#megatron x reader#optimus x reader#bumblebee x reader#Elita one x reader#transformers x reader#transformers one x reader#Sentinel Prime is a bitch#Sentinel Prime is breedable
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@bramble-berries posted a thing about hospital security guard eddie and er nurse steve and @zerokrox-blog sent in a prompt for a steddie med school au, but despite working in a hospital, i don't know anything about med school other than it's 4 years of schooling and 4 years of residency, so i couldn't deliver on that part unfortunately. but i hope yall enjoy regardless!
"Are you gonna actually do something tonight, or are you just gonna sit there and look handsome like always?"
Steve pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose as he looks up from the computer and rolls his eyes.
"I could ask you the same thing, you know," he says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. "This is the third time you've been down here in the last," Steve checks his watch, "hour. Don't you have a parking lot to patrol or something?"
Eddie only laughs and hooks his thumbs into his belt loops. "Bold of you to assume they let me drive the car, big boy. Nah, Preston drives and I get to be the passenger princess I was born to be."
Steve snorts. He definitely doesn't pay attention to the looks the other nurses are giving them.
"Besides," Eddie continues. He leans his elbows on the counter of the nurse's station. "It's your fault I'm down here so often in the first place."
"Oh really?" Steve raises an eyebrow and doesn't hide the fact that he's checking out the tattoos on Eddie's forearms that are showcased by the short sleeves of his uniform shirt framing his biceps. Hospital uniform policy says minimal jewelry but Eddie's never been one for conformity so his fingers are adorned with rings of different size.
(Hospital policy also says that security staff are, under no circumstances, to physically harm violent patients or visitors, but that policy doesn't say anything about Eddie threatening to dole out a knuckle sandwich or two.)
Eddie tracks Steve's gaze and smirks. He taps his fingers on the counter in a rolling rhythm, his black nail polish accenting the flashiness of his rings.
Eddie leans in a little more (which isn't necessary because the counter is a foot above the desk Steve is sitting at) and almost purrs, public decency be damned, "Because, princess, if it weren't for you, I'd be stuck up in my office doing something boring, like reading." He places a hand on his chest. "As much as I love my dragon hoard of books, seeing your pretty face for twelve hours is a much better option."
Steve blushes and tries to sputter out a response, but the radio clipped to Eddie's shoulder goes off.
Eddie confirms the call and groans, dropping his head.
The moment is all Steve needs to compose himself. "Oh no," he frowns, insincere but his tone teasing. "You have to actually do your job. How awful."
Eddie mouths wordlessly back at him, mocking, but then grins and raps his knuckles on the counter once more, giving him a wink. "Don't miss me too much, sweetheart."
Steve tries to not watch as Eddie walks down the hallway, but god those pants fit him so well. He's always had a thing for tiny, perky asses.
"Steve."
Steve jumps and does not yelp like a child. He turns to see his colleague Jen. Jen's been working in the ER for a few years and is a spitfire with a heart of gold.
"You've been flirting with him for months and neither of you have made a real move on each other. What the hell? The betting pool Trent and Brett have is getting shallow."
The tips of Steve's ears start to burn. "Betting pool?!" He turns his chair around to the guys mentioned and they're very much making an effort not to look at him. "You guys are betting on us hooking up? How old are you, twelve?"
"Stevie," Jen sighs in a dramatic way that reminds Steve of Robin and it makes his heart clench. "You have turned down every single person in the vicinity since you started. Eddie is obviously into you and you're into him. I'm going to say this as nicely as I can because you're my favorite out of all the graduates: Please jump this man's bones so I can get my $50."
"My love life is only worth $50 to you?"
"Steve."
Steve groans and hits his head on the desk.
xxxxxxxx
Eddie outright moans when 7am rolls around and he's finally able to take off his uniform. He shoves the bulletproof vest and his holster belt into his locker and his shirt and pants into his dufflebag to be washed later.
God, he doesn't even want to think about laundry.
After he got the call that pulled him away from Steve, it was like the floodgates opened. Two code violets, one report of a car circling the ASU parking lot suspiciously, and three code browns that ended up being patients sneaking outside for a smoke.
He didn't blame them. With the night he had, he's regretting his decision to quit.
Eddie walks through the automatic doors at the entrance of the hospital after he's changed back into his civvies, and those regrets immediately disappear and his mood brightens when he sees who's waiting for him.
Wayne's van is parked in the drop off zone and the sliding door is opened. A bright grin stretches across Eddie's tired face as he gets closer to his little girl, happily squirming in her car seat and drinking juice out of her bottle.
"Da-dee!"
Eddie lets his bag slide off his shoulder and onto the ground but Wayne picks it up and puts it next to Emma's diaper bag.
"Hi, baby!" Eddie coos as he unbuckles her. "Good morning!" He kisses her cheek and buries his nose in her hair, a chesnut brown like her dad's, and cuddles her close. "I missed you so much. Did you have fun with papaw last night?"
"She fussed a little after you left but I got her settled," Wayne says. He holds up a McDonald's bag. "Decided she was gonna get an early start this morning so I figured yall could use some breakfast."
Eddie's stomach chooses the right time to growl and his mouth waters. Last he ate was a TV dinner around one in the morning. Eddie tells Wayne to pick a spot in the visitor's parking lot and then takes Emma back inside the hospital with him.
He doesn't see Steve when he gets to the ER.
"Hey, Steve hasn't left yet, has he?"
A nurse, Jen, Eddie thinks her name is, looks at him and immediately starts cooing at the (admittedly adorable) baby in his arms that's looking around with curious eyes and drinking her juice.
"Steve's in the locker room getting changed, he's just about to clock out. Who is this little cutie?"
Eddie grins and bounces Emma lightly. "This is Emma, my little monster. She gets all her cuteness from her other dad."
Jen's face falls for a second but before Eddie can ask what's wrong, Emma squeals way too loudly for a hospital at 7:30 in the morning and almost throws her bottle in her excitement.
"Da! Da!"
Steve looks just about as tired as Eddie feels and he can practically hear their bed calling their names. But Steve's eyes light up when he hears who's calling for him and a sort of puppy-like grin takes over his face, dopey and happy.
Emma is already reaching for him and Steve quickly strides over and takes her in his arms.
"Good morning, lovebug," Steve says, enveloping her in the gentlest hug he can muster. He breathes in her natural baby smell and closes his eyes.
Eddie's hand goes to his waist to keep him awake and Steve hums, opening his eyes and leaning into give Eddie a peck on the cheek.
"Morning, baby," he murmurs, all traces of teasing and flirting from the night before gone and replaced with open affection.
Steve doesn’t need to look at Jen to know her jaw is probably on the floor.
Eddie returns the kiss on Steve's lips. "Morning, sweetheart. Wayne’s waiting with breakfast outside. Seems like little miss princess here decided she was gonna wake up early, early today." He tickles Emma's tummy as he says this, causing her to laugh around her binky and try to push his fingers away.
"Food sounds so good right now," Steve practically whines.
Jen is still staring between the three of them. Steve smiles sheepishly.
"Sorry you didn't win your money. I should’ve told you, Eddie and I have been together for years. Emma's our daughter." He shifts Emma in his arms and gives everyone a wave. "I'll see you guys later."
He and Eddie walk out of the hospital hand in hand. They eat their breakfast in the parking lot and Wayne follows them to their house to stay up with Emma while Steve and Eddie get some much needed sleep.
When they go back into work later that evening, they fess up to everyone and Eddie gives Jen $50 right from his own wallet.
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if we're like, showing graphs and stuff, this is the type that i think a lot of people on tumblr are thinking of when they think about the economy.
Only one third of people with family incomes below $50k spent less than their income each month. I would guess that a lot of people on tumblr who get aggro about this topic (and the vast majority of people on r/povertyfinance, who discuss this sort of thing a lot) fall into this earning category.
Real wage increases only matter if you got a raise (one third of workers got a raise last year, which means that 2/3rds didn't - included in the economic wellbeing report linked above). Whether or not rent is outpacing wages only matters if you're not going to be rent burdened (more than a third of renter households are cost burdened in every state and 12 million rental households spend more than half their income on rent). Employment rates lose a lot of meaning when you're working multiple jobs to make ends meet (the percentage of multiply employed workers was falling in the US from 1996 to the 2010s, when it plateaued, then it started rising slightly then collapsed in 2020 and has been rising steeply since then and it's too soon to tell if it's going to go back to the plateau or keep going up).
Four in ten adults in the US is carrying some level of medical debt (even people who are insured) and 60% of people with medical debt have cut back on food, clothes or household items; about 50% of people with medical debt have used up all their savings.
Tumblr is the broke people website and yeah, people who are working two jobs to afford $900 for one room and utilities in a three bedroom apartment are not going to feel great about the economy even if real wages are raising and inflation-adjusted rents are actually pretty stable. "The Rent is too Damn High" has been a meme for 14 years so, like, yeah. Even if it's pretty stable when adjusted for inflation it is stable and HIGH.
It's hard to feel good about the economy when you're spending the last few days of the pay period hoping nothing unexpected hits your account, and it's VERY frustrating to be told that the economy's doing well when you've had to start selling blood to buy groceries.
Sure, unemployment is low, that's neat. It's good that inflation has stabilized (it genuinely has; prices are not likely to fall back to pre-inflation rates and eventually you'll likely be paid enough to reach equilibrium, but a lot of people aren't there yet).
But, like, it costs eight thousand dollars a year out of pocket to keep my spouse alive. I'd guess that we've paid off about a third of the 40-ish thousands of dollars he's racked up since his heart attack. His medical debt is why I don't have a retirement plan beyond "I guess I'll die?" So talking about how good the economy is kind of feels like being chained in the bottom of a pit that is slowly filling with water while people on the surface talk about the fact that the rain is tapering off. Neat! That's good! But I can't really see it from where I'm standing.
Inflation really is getting better. My state just enacted a $20 minimum wage for fast food workers. The Biden administration has worked hard to reduce many kinds of healthcare costs. A lot of people have had significant portions of their student debt cancelled.
But a lot of people are still having trouble affording groceries and it doesn't seem helpful to say "your perception of the economy is decoupled from the reality of the economy" on the "can I get a few dollars for food today?" website.
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