#but it does make accusations like these funny and a bit nonsensical

[arcaneconfessions]

You claim to be a general arcane confessions blog but seem to only answer anti-Jayvik asks. Just rename yourself anti-Jayvik confessions at this point

Alright, I don’t usually answer asks like these, but I’ve been getting a weird influx of “accusations” (for lack of a better term, even though it seems entirely too serious for this situation) that I’m showing either an anti Jayvik or pro Jayvik bias in the confessions I post. My answer to these strange asks is to direct your attention to the screenshot below:

Here are all the posts I have tagged either Jayvik or anti Jayvik. There is technically more anti Jayvik confessions, but the difference is by 30 posts. If I’m an anti secretly trying to silence Jayvik shippers I’m not doing a particularly good job at it, and if I’m a secret rabid Jayvik shipper trying to silence Jayvik antis I’m also doing a bad job at it.

At the end of the day, if you want to see more confessions that are for or against a certain ship or character, all you have to do is send it in. As long as it follows the rules I will post them. No need to make up some sort of grand conspiracy about my posting criteria.

- Mod Vi

[fireemblems24]

Azure Gleam - Special Chapters

Spoilers for the special chapters below.

SHEZ VS BYLETH

I didn't get the special chapter for SB or GW. SB, I just straight up did not care. GW, I tried, but it involved an "escort Claude" part and he just sat there and didn't move forward, and I didn't care enough to bother with the chapter a second time.

Shez sounds like Arval. Did Arval take Shez over? I'm guessing to go after Sothis?

Oh, cut scene! Shez vs Byleth again.

Byleth holding his own against Arval!Shez. Good to see. Shez is trying to hold Arval back though.

So . . . if we kick out Arval out in these chapters, does Shez loose their abilities/special class, because no :(((((

Felix, Dedue, and Dimitri are worrying about Shez and Byleth (also, awesome to see all my favs). Rodrigue has news about what happened.

Scouts report that Byleth and Shez are fighting. Felix accuses that Dimitri suspected this.

Dimitri tells how Shez worried that TWSITD would take over her. And Dimitri's promise to kill Shez to stop her from killing others.

Oh, we cut straight to the battle and have to defeat Shez. Makes sense. I'm guessing do it before Byleth dies?

My Shez is, eh, a bit stronger than Byleth, so I'm a bit worried. But Dimitri's such an overkill at this point, he's just going to blaze through this chapter like he did the last one.

It's weird not having Shez among my playable characters. I'm using Jeralt instead of Shez for my missing 8th person because he's the highest level (and I can't use Byleth either so).

Edelgard is around somewhere? Claude showed up to hunt her down.

My Byleth is like 10 levels below Shez. It's not going well.

Atrocity is one hell of a drug. Took Shez out.

Defeating Solon feels good. Got a cut scene too. He just ran away though. Wait, Arval/Shez killed Solon? Ohhh, like Solon killed Kyrona. A sacrifice is needed to open Zaharas. Karma I guess.

Claude and Dimitri talking is kinda cool. And weird Edelgard showed up. It's so amusing to me that they wrote themselves into such a corner with Edelgard they just yeeted her brain lamo.

ZAHRAS

Arval is talking to Arval.

Dark Arval created Normal Arval because Dark Arval wanted typical TWSITD nonsense, domination, restore the world to TWSITD, etc . . .

And in the most shocking twist, Normal Arval is programmed to kill Sothis, so therefore Byleth, and while Arval took over Shez.

Oh, Shez woke up! And Claude's there with Dimitri.

So they all got sent to this Zahras place.

Shez doesn't have a lot of memory of what just happened, and tells Claude and Dimitri about Arval, who's gone though.

Now they have to find a way out of this mess.

Dimitri found Edelgard. Since there's like 4 people, no one plans on fighting each other until they get out. Then it's time to kill people.

So Edelgard doesn't remember what happened and got some spell cast on her by TWSITD.

Claude cheerily tells her what a fuck up her country is lamo.

There's this mini map with the 3 lords just standing there, chilling, in this dark abyss place. It's pretty funny looking.

All my other units are gone, but I expected that. Dimitri's my most overpowered unit anyways.

DIMITRI & CLAUDE

Is this like some kind of support?

So AG Claude wants to get rid of the central church and kill Rhea. Like, I'm down for removing any sort of political power from a religious institution, but this fixation on Rhea is weird.

Lamo, is this game serious? Did it really just blame nobility and arrange marriage on Rhea?? OMG.

I knew Claude went completely dodo bird in this game, but he somehow became even more of an idiot?

I'm kind of impressed lol.

He drank the Edelgard koolaide.

Dimitri's like, well, as long as you just dislike the church and not Faerghus.

It's interesting for Dimitri to acknowledge that his personal beliefs and his beliefs as a king are sometimes at war.

He also lays out why Claude's plan is an awful idea. Meaning, all the death and suffering he'll cause.

It's just a classic, Claude is too rash - Dimitri is too cautious.

Claude tells Dimitri that he's too good for him. And that they could've been friends if kingly stuff didn't get in the way.

It's overall a fine support, except this absurd idea that the church is solely responsible for stuff human nature always comes up with, and I think it's more a symptom of a huge flaw in the Fodlan games as a whole than anything else.

DIMITRI & EDELGARD

Dimitri finds it hard to talk to Edelgard because of all the people she's caused the death of. But way more polite.

Edelgard doesn't feel that way. Which, not surprised. She doesn't really care too much about the people who've died like he does.

Lamo, she also is way less polite and is like "you don't want to talk to the tyrant who's gotten everyone killed." See, though, it's acknowledgements like this that make me like this game more. She knows that's what she looks like to everyone not in Adrestia.

Dimitri gets annoyed with her for placing words in his mouth. And good for him. That's always annoying.

Edelgard is less confident than Dimitri that he has no regrets of his actions and carefully considered all of them.

Oh, good, Dimitri asks about Patricia. But Edelgard doesn't know what happened either. So, still no answers about her.

Dimitri wants to just end the conversation. I am loving how much he really doesn't want to talk to her. It's so different from Claude who he was curious about.

She falls down because dark magic place does it's thing, then helps her stand up, and they get a picture, which is cool.

It reminds her of when she fell once and took the help without thinking about it. Now she thinks about it.

Dimitri remembers helping a girl up.

I see where this is going, but it's funny such a mundane thing will trigger important memories, lamo.

Edelgard is like, yeah, knowing you, you probably helped a lot of people get up who fell down.

I'm living for these supports acknowledging that Dimitri's a way better person than the other two lol.

He's like, naw, it was you. Edelgard keeps insisting it wasn't her.

He calls her El at the end.

Is this the same support in SB? It works for AG, but man, this asshole just killed Sylvain (and Annette, and Gilbert, and Ingrid, and Rodrigue, and tons of other people from Faerghus simply bc she wants that land back), so I'd be furious seeing it there.

In AG, though, it makes sense.

BACK TO THE CHAPTER

Dimitri's the only one who asks about Shez's wellbeing. Does their dialogue change in different routes?

Oh, cool, I had some access to stuff like the blacksmith, which makes no sense, but ok.

Bad Arval showed up behind Shez, but she alludes it.

Arval says none can escape. But I doubt it.

Dimitri's like, that's bullshit, bc there's no way they'd build this without a way out, and if they can get out, so can we.

And then Dimitri's proved right when Arval says he'll leave, alone.

Ok, I learned this other Arval's name, but I am not going to spell all of that.

So like, after this, do they all just go back to war? Because if they do . . . lol.

They let you use all the 3 lords, but I'll probably only use Shez and Dimitri. Neither Edelgard nor Claude impressed me much when I started this game (and at the time I started, I liked Claude a lot more than I do now).

Oh, so a dark Hubert, Hilda, and Felix showed up. A bit sad it wasn't Dedue, though. I feel like he deserved to be the BL rep even if Felix is more popular. But maybe it was for variety? Like Dedue is another axe like Hilda, but then switch Claude's people out.

At the same time, Felix makes sense, esp in Hopes. He and Dimitri are practically married lol.

Dimitri's like, that's not Felix. He wouldn't get mad at me for doing this and not avenging people. He's not wrong.

Ohhh, not they're fighting phantom versions of themselves.

They had some throwaway lines explaining why Edelgard is normal now.

Lamo, Edelgard doesn't trust herself.

Meanwhile . . . Dimitri . . . is like, really excited about this. Because he gets to kill a version of himself. :((((

Claude's line wasn't as interesting as the other two. I know. Shocking. /s

Dimitri wants to thank Arval for letting him fight and kill himself. I cannot with this man.

Evil Claude just about totaled regular Claude. Edelgard isn't scratched though.

Edelgard and Claude were way more normal about reactions to fighting themselves lol.

I had to make Claude an adjunct. He was nearly dead. It's actually surprising how much worse he is than Edelgard. (Dimitri's not fair to rate against them since he's more built out and not dropped into this map for a one-time battle).

Ok, he summoned more dudes to protect him, and one was a Shez copy the other Dedue. So Dedue got credit too. So now I'm less conflicted about Felix making an appearance.

Shez is upset at fighting herself.

Dimitri feels awful about fighting the shades this time. He's only motivated by all the people he's kept alive in real life.

I defeated Epimedes. That seemed too easy.

Cut scene fight between Shez and Epi. It's pretty badass looking in the dark magic place with falling rocks everywhere. Like, in a cheesy but just roll with it way.

Shez wins. Arval pops back up and they almost hold hands. Arval's never felt more alone :( Honestly, kinda sad things end badly for them. So not recruiting Byleth gives Arval a better ending? Will Arval not be there in the final map before the final battle?

They escaped!

Dimitri's like "it felt like a strange fever dream" and honestly, not a bad way to describe it.

They lost Edelgard and are we back to the normal stuff? Oh, no Shez asks to go back to the search for her and the others. Claude wants to get back to his people too.

Ok, so moving onto the final chapter now.

xxx

[lakesparkles]

hai me again! I hope you don't mind me adding on, I'd understand if you choose not to respond, just wanted to give my thoughts-

I first want to say that I relate to the emotional overwhelm of such situations. I'm very sensitive, especially when it feels as if I've been hurtful :( I just recently I got an ask that condescendingly said I was being insensitive about some fandom things (they misunderstood my point so I clarified and it was okay) but I felt that same feeling of rejection. it's like guilt and embarrassment and makes you feel like everyone is mad at you, lol... it always takes me a few days of recovery to feel comfortable posting again

secondly, I want to say that I agree with all your points. I don't know anything about mouthwashing, but it sounds like other people are making their shallow interpretation of it your problem. opening a discussion, as you did, is not an invitation to be harassed or accused of terrible things. you didn't deserve that!

saying that evil/abusive characters can have good qualities, do good things, or be nice, is not at all excusing (or God, forbid, endorsing) their evil/abusive actions. it's actually a grounded and realistic opinion to have. the idea that all abusers are just evil monsters isn't true. in my experience, one of the most dangerous things about abusers is that they can be nice, normal, even good people. anyone is capable of abuse, even good people. even normal people. if you talk to any abuse victim about their abusers, they will say things like, "yes, they were terrible, but they were good sometimes, too, and that's what made it so hard to hate/leave them"

I have watched bojack horseman. bojack is an excellent example of a realistic abuser (if you don't mind me calling him that). because he is written to have good moments, and to have deep and complex feelings, and to be sympathetic, sometimes, too! the things he does to others I would still call abusive, but because he is so complex and multifaceted, people sympathize with him more. he's a very interesting character and, imo, the comparison between him and jimmy is justifiable (from what I know)

(sorry a lot of this is nonsense. tldr, I think you're right, and other people just have poor literacy skills)

salukes!

-🦊

Hello!!! As usual, you don't need to worry at all! I love reading your thoughts, you can always express your thoughts so well!

First things is that YES, this is exactly how it feels! :( I'm also very sensitive with negative opinions towards me. I'm aware this is something about myself that I need to change... But oh man, I wish I knew how to actually do it. I just can't, and not even therapy helped me a bit. I feel so guilty I convince myself everybody - including my friends and mutuals - will start hating me too... Part of me knows it's not true. Part of me knows that people should and will have criticism about my actions. But nothing of it makes this type of situation easier.

Thank you for thinking so, what I was hoping was that I would be able to listen to other people's opinion about both characters, which is a very interesting topic to me. I like to see how bad people are represented on games/shows/movies, even more when Bojack and Jimmy have such different character arcs and are both the protagonists.

And I do think that admitting that abusers can be good people sometimes is a truth most people don't want to admit. But, at the same time, it's something very important to talk about because the same happened to me! (Vent coming, sorry) When I decided to stop talking to my ex, I felt so guilty. Because she treated me in a terrible way but, at the same time, she had so many good moments. She was cool, funny and made me feel very comfortable. There are some conversations between us that I still remember clearly because she inspired me and changed my way to see everything.

But she was still terrible and she still hurt me in many ways, no matter what.

I also wish things were different, but they aren't.

And Bojack is such a good character to show this. I do believe he was abusive many times and being able to relate to him is what makes the show so painful to watch. The problem is that he's so much more complex than Jimmy that people forget how he traumatized many other characters. I think more people should read his crimes on the Villains Wiki to remember Bojack is not a good guy. But well

[raccoon-eyed-rebel]

Part 18 - Leon

Masterlist

Series Masterlist

Part 17 -- Part 19

Pairing: Napoleon x ofc

Summary: The guys throw a New Years Eve party at 179th Crescent Street...

Warnings: SMUT, NSFW, 18+, MINORS DNI, oral (m receiving), drug use (alcohol, weed), minor violence (someone gets punched).

Word count: 3.8k

A/N: Alright! Here we finally go! These chapters have been in the making for just over 3 months, and I sincerely hope they live up to expectations. I've written these from the 1st person perspective of the boys. It's a little experiment, and it was tougher than I initially thought it would be.

For those who don't know what the plan is: There will be a NYE chapter for each of the guys. That means I wrote the same party 8 times - which is why it took so long: the details had to align... I hope you guys enjoy ^^

@deandoesthingstome @geralts-yenn @summersong69 @peaches1958 @fvckinghenrycavill @keanureevesisbae @livisss @sillyrabbit81 @ellethespaceunicorn @ylva-syverson

I look around the room, where we’ve pretty much managed to get everything set up for the party tonight. I say ‘we’, but I’m fairly sure I’d get my ass kicked by everyone in the entire house if I ever dare say that out loud - so I don’t. 

“Where have you been?” Sy asks as he closes the door behind him. I reach into my pocket right when Mike comes into the kitchen to see me toss the bag of weed on the kitchen table. 

“Internet is up again,” he says. One look at the table has him grinning widely. “Nice.”

“I knew there was a reason we kept him around.” Charles appears next to me and slams a fist into Mike’s shoulder.

“Yeah, it would be so awful if you couldn’t watch porn for one night.” Charles elbows me in the arm because I laugh at what Dani said, but I can’t help it: she’s funny. And she’s good for Mikey. 

“I don’t think I’ll be needing any tonight,” Charles replies dryly. He’s not even smug about it, and with good reason, but he can’t resist adding a very inappropriate wink at Dani. 

“Think you can still get laid with a broken nose and a black eye, Brandon?” It’s not that Mike is threatening, per se, but he can throw a punch and he’s fast. It’s no wonder Charles backs down.

I would say it’s a miracle Charles has never been punched in the face for getting a little too friendly with one of our roommates’ girlfriends, but I’d be lying. He has in fact been punched in the face for exactly that. Repeatedly. By Geralt, of all people, so quite frankly, it’s surprising he still has a face. And all of that was after a very firm knee to the nuts from Solveig herself. Good times. Well, for us… I doubt Charles looks back on the events as fondly as we do. I turn my attention back to the goings on in the kitchen. They’re going to accuse me of not doing much, which wouldn’t be factually incorrect, per se, but since I’m paying for most of this nonsense, I figure I have a right to sit back a little. Whatever I’m not putting up, is sponsored by Charles. We don’t exactly know how rich his family is, but his father owns the house we all live in. Despite that fact, I tend to think of it as my house at least a little bit - and I know Charles agrees. It’s me and August who run this place, with Charles being more of a silent benefactor. 

“Where’s Sherlock,” I ask when I notice he’s the only one who isn’t here. 

“In his room,” Mike replies, “he wouldn’t last five minutes tonight if he had to deal with all of this, too.” He’s probably right, and I’d hate for our little brother - he’s too rational to hate it when we say it, but we know he doesn’t exactly like it - to miss the party, so I say nothing and help them set up the last few things to get ready for tonight. 

I look in Charles’ direction a few times, but he’s too busy eye-fucking every woman in the room to notice. Even though I’m well aware of his reputation, I can’t stop myself from wondering how the hell he does this; The living room and kitchen are filled with people, most of whom I’ve never even seen, let alone spoken to. Charles was right when he said he wouldn’t need porn tonight; girls are flirting with him from every corner of the room. Of course I’m equally as lucky, but my attention goes to two ladies who just walked through the door, guided by Danielle. She introduces them to Mike, and then points out the others one by one. 

“And that’s Napoleon,” she finally says when she gets to me, which I take as my cue to walk over. 

“Leon!” Danielle greets me happily. “Let me introduce you to my roommates!” Her roommates, huh?

“This is Sloane and-” I stop her before she gets to her other friend. 

“Ariel Ryker.” The Art History bachelor is roughly as popular as you’d expect: not at all - which is why I recognize this girl. I wouldn’t want to be dramatic by calling her ‘the bane of my existence’, but whatever counts as the non-dramatized version of that would be a perfect description.

“You two know each other?”

“Napoleon is the number two of our class,” Ariel says sweetly, flashing me a pearly white smile that makes my cock twitch for some reason that’s completely beyond me. 

“Who’s the first?” Alright, so Sloane either isn’t very bright, or she likes to stir things up - and from the challenging grin on her face, I’m guessing it’s the latter. 

“That would be her.” I’m hoping I manage to keep my voice polite even though the sight of her makes my blood boil. “For now.”

“Oh, and how do you plan to change that, Solo?” Her tone is annoyingly challenging and I would love to wipe that smug smile off her face. 

“You’re not far ahead of me,” I say nonchalantly - I hope. 

“But ahead of you nonetheless,” she says in an almost condescending tone. 

I spend the next hours of the party in several heated discussions with her, among which a particularly feisty one about gothic architecture - which is unfortunate for me because architecture is far from my favorite subject within my degree - and I can’t help but notice how pretty she is, even when she is telling me off. Maybe especially when she is telling me off. 

“Alright, I give up, Ryker,” I finally say, “do you want another drink?” I gesture to her empty glass and offer to refill it for her. A flash of doubt crosses her face while she contemplates whether or not she trusts me enough to let me get her a drink. Apparently, she does. It would have offended me, if it weren’t for the fact that I am very aware that men are - largely - trash, and even though some women indubitably consider me and Charles to be pretty much the bottom of the barrel, neither of us would ever resort to drugs to get a woman into bed. Of course, neither of us need to, but even if we did… Never. 

“I think it’s time to get the fuck out of here.” That is definitely Charles, and everything surrounding that sentence sounds like a commotion of the violent kind. My suspicions are confirmed when I step back into the living room, where Mike has his arm wrapped around a very upset-looking Dani, and Charles stares at a guy I vaguely recognized as a member of the soccer team, who is holding his nose and making a break for the door. 

“Are you alright, Dani?” Charles asks while rubbing his knuckles as inconspicuously as he possibly can. I hand the glass of wine that is intended for Ariel to her and raise my eyebrows. 

“What happened?” The room is still a little quiet after this little… kerfuffle. 

“Alright, folks, nothin’ to see here, back to your business,” Sy’s voice carries through the room with ease. Anyone would think twice to ignore what he is saying. For some reason, if Sy tells you to do something, you do it. 

“Tony - the guy Charles punched - was getting handsy with Dani, she told him to stop, he didn’t, Charles saw, warned him - twice - and then when he still didn’t stop…” 

“Where was Mike?” 

“Rolling a joint, not paying attention.” Ariel scoffs and takes a big sip of her wine.

“He’s a good guy, Ariel,” I say, knowing exactly what that scoff means. Mike isn’t a bad kid, he’s just easily distracted, which Ariel would know if she’d spent more than five seconds with him, but she clearly hasn’t. 

“We only met him today,” she tells me, “they’ve only been going out for… what? Two weeks?” Something like that, I confirm, I’m not exactly clear on every detail, either. Not that I care - a lot. 

The clock inches closer and closer to midnight and Ariel and I spend that time bickering some more about art. Painting this time, which puts me in a much more favorable position than that lovely talk on architecture did. Now, I know Ariel Ryker is good at what she does, and she’s not one to let herself get trapped, which means that if I manage to do it, it’s going to be because she lets me - and it looks like she will let me, because she makes a mistake. The timing is absolutely perfect; we’re interrupted by the countdown and just as everyone scrambles to stick his or her tongue down someone else's throat when the clock strikes twelve, I turn to her. 

“I’d kiss you if I weren’t so appalled at what you just said,” I say with a soft chuckle and watch her as she raises her eyebrows at me.

“And what did I just say that has you so appalled?” I repeat her words and she scoffs as if she fully believes she’s right.

“There’s a paper on my desk that proves you wrong,” I say. My eyes are definitely more hopeful than they should be, but who can blame me? If she takes this, I’m in. 

“Show me,” she says. There’s a challenge in her eyes, and all I can think is: bingo. 

We’re barely even through the door of my room or my lips are on hers and her hands are tangled into my hair. She’s a good kisser; fierce, not too sloppy. I run my tongue along her bottom lip, vaguely remembering that she was wearing lipstick when we came in, but that’s definitely already ruined. We make it to my bed without any problems, and she pushes me down. 

“Easy,” I warn her. I’m not one to complain about a woman in charge, but she’ll have to earn it. She falls on top of me and crushes her lips back against mine. Her moans are loud - who am I kidding? So are mine - and every time I hear the sound, my cock twitches in my pants. She’s grinding on me, which definitely doesn’t make it better. Her hands work on the buttons of my shirt, and as looks at me while she sits up to give herself more space to undo them, she laughs. 

“Your lipstick is absolutely everywhere, isn’t it?” I ask, and she nods and giggles. “Well it’s all over your face, too.” I take off my shirt while I talk; it’s a rather expensive one I’d hate to see ruined. When it’s on the floor, I give her a look, telling her it’s her turn, and she seems happy to oblige. Her fingers work deliberately slowly as she keeps grinding on my cock while taking her blouse off. It looks like she’s particularly fond of the sounds I’m making, I notice, and her own moans follow mine. I dig my fingers into her thighs and pull her tighter against me, mimicking the movements of her hips with my own. 

Shortly after she kisses me again, I leave her mouth alone and focus my attention on her neck while slipping the shiny satiny material - polyester, sadly - of her blouse off her shoulders. For a moment, I pause to take in the underwear she has on. 

“Just take it off,” she growls as she licks a path along my jaw to my ear. My chuckle turns into a grunt when she takes my earlobe into her mouth and sucks on it softy. It’s definitely a weak spot of mine, and I can’t express how glad I am she found it. My whole body reacts when she drags her nails down my sides and back up again, and the soft chuckle she lets out directly in my ear makes me harder than I ever even thought possible. 

“What if I want to take a good look?”

“Take a good look at my tits, instead,” she says. It’s definitely an attitude I’ve never come across before. I’ve been told to slow down often enough, and I've been accused of being an insensitive asshole for going too fast more times than I can count, but a girl actively encouraging me to hurry up… Honestly, I should probably find it incredibly hot, but I’m mildly insulted, instead. 

And then, as a gorgeous woman tries to get me out of the rest of my clothes, I hear myself say the words I never thought I’d say in my entire life: “Can you slow down for a second?” 

I don’t know who Ariel Ryker thinks she is, but she’s messing with my head, and that’s something I’d very much like her to stop doing. 

“No way,” she says, “you’re the guy who everyone always says is up for anything.” Well, ‘everyone’ isn’t wrong - usually. 

“Yeah, well…” I probably should have thought about how that sentence was going to end before I started it, but I didn’t, and now we’re here. Ariel is still grinding on my lap, which makes it impossible to think, let alone talk my way out of this. The only thing I can think of is ‘I swear this never happens’, and I hate how exceptionally true it is.

“Cat’s got your tongue, Solo?” I swear to god I want to answer her, but the words are just gone. For fuck’s sake, if I don’t get laid tonight, I don’t know who I’m blaming, but it sure as hell isn’t going to be me!

“Do I make you nervous?” What? No! Obviously not! This time, my face gives away what my mouth won’t say out loud, and it makes her laugh. The sound is fantastic, for whatever backwards reason, and I can’t help but moan when I hear it. She leans over to kiss me again, and I feel like I’m frozen in place. Her lips leave mine and travel all over my chest with newfound patience, moving further down until she’s forced to get off my thighs. I growl appreciatively when she reconvenes on the floor; it’s an absolute treat to see her on her knees in front of me. It’s basic biology; men love gorgeous women on their knees. Especially when they’re covered in lipstick and clearly planning on wiping whatever is left on their faces off on your cock. Again: I’m not complaining - though my ego is pretty bruised from giving in to her so easily. 

It’s quickly forgotten when she runs her hands over my crotch, and a little bit of that bruise on my pride heals when she gasps and loses a bit of her patience again. She makes quick work of the button and zipper of my pants. Her hands are small, I notice, and I chuckle softly. Small hands are a godsend. They make my dick look bigger. Not that I need it, but it’s still nice. I clench my jaw involuntarily when she wraps her hand around my shaft - not completely; she can’t make it, which makes me grin. 

“Intimidated?” That I can say? The stupidest goddamn… oh well, it’s out now. She gets up and kisses me again. 

“If you want me to suck you off at all, you’re probably better off keeping your mouth shut, Leon,” she says. She’s clearly amused, which means I didn’t screw up completely. 

I know I’m thinking something around the time she wraps her lips around my cock, but I couldn’t tell you what it is if my life depended on it. Her mouth is wet and warm and she knows exactly what she’s doing.  I somehow manage to figure out that she has her tongue pierced, and she’s more than aware of how to use that to her advantage. It’s only a matter of time before I lose control of my voice. 

When the first moan slips out, I know it’s over. Best to just give in to it now, so I can actually enjoy what she’s doing. We’re talking seconds before I’m a growling, swearing mess in her hands - well, mouth, technically - which she clearly seems to enjoy quite a lot, judging from her own moaning. Her tongue, her hands; everything feels incredible, and I’m lost in the sensations like never before. This may very well be the best blowjob I’ve ever gotten. 

“Oh, really?” Fuck. Apparently I said that out loud. It’s too bad that it makes her stop, other than that, I don’t think I have much of a problem with her knowing.

“Yeah, you’re a minute away from finishing me off, actually,” I say, stifling a moan when she gives me the biggest, most innocent eyes I’ve ever seen. “Half, if you keep looking at me like that.”

“Let’s not,” she says as she gets back to her feet and pulls me into another kiss. I sit on the edge of my bed and allow my hands to wander her body, pulling her close so I can finally take off that bra she’s been wanting me to take off for a while now. Her boobs were already spilling out of it, but now that it’s gone… They’re amazing. As a matter of fact, I’ve never come across a pair that wasn’t - and believe me when I say I’ve searched far and wide. She moans when I roll one of her nipples between my fingers while my mouth takes care of the other one. Her nails dig into my shoulders. It doesn’t hurt and she lets go pretty quickly - a shame on both counts, really. I take it as my cue to pull her back onto the bed, and take charge of this situation again. 

When I try to go slow, she tells me to get to it again, and I look at her as I take her other breast into my mouth and slowly circle her nipple with my tongue. I take a moment to enjoy this, watch her reaction, play with her, and then I slowly start making my way down her body, only to be completely taken by surprise when she stops me.

“Leon, just… Just fuck me,” she says. I don’t get it. I’ve had women beg me to eat them out, but I can’t recall one ever asking me not to… 

“Please?” I can’t believe I just asked that - especially with that uncharacteristically confused tone to my voice. It’s pathetic. 

“Are you seriously asking if you can go down on me?” And now she’s mocking me? 

“Yes.” I’m not about to lie. Something’s going on and I’m going to find out what. If she just wanted to remain in control, she could have allowed me to continue after I’d pretty much begged her to let me taste her.

“I’d rather you didn’t,” she says. All of a sudden, she sounds shy. This calls for a different approach. 

I move to actually get my head on a pillow and hold my hand out by means of an invitation. She joins me -  hesitantly, but still - and I wrap my arms around her. 

“A, you don’t like the way it feels. B, no guy has ever made it feel good. C, someone told you once that your pussy looks weird and now you’re not letting anyone down there in case he was right. Am I getting at anything here?” I can be blunt if I have to, it’s just that I prefer not to be. In this case, I don’t think subtlety is going to get me anywhere, so the Walker-approach it is… 

“I hate you,” she says, “but C is pretty dead on, actually.” I should have known I wasn’t going to feel triumphant about getting that right, but I hadn’t expected to feel this bad for her, either. As always, though, I think I have a solution…

“Blindfold me,”

“What?”

“You heard me,” I say plainly. From the way she looks at me, I can tell she isn’t quite getting how much I’m not messing with her right now.

“You’d do that?” She scoffs as she says it, which makes me raise my eyebrows. 

“Why not? Wouldn’t be the first time.” Judging by the look on her face, she’s definitely considering it.

“Make it a new year’s resolution,” I say, “start the new year off good.”

“You really like going down on girls, don’t you?” I do, but I also have a near pathological need to help women overcome insecurities. It’s an ego thing - I have in the past tried to convince August and Charles it wasn’t. That didn’t work, and that’s probably because they were right, and it absolutely is. Of course, I’m not going to tell her that, so I just nod.

“What I think,” she says, and I immediately realize my mistake, “is that you have a pathological need to help women overcome insecurities because it’s a way for you to feel good about yourself.”

At this point, it’s fair to say that Ariel is annoying the everloving fuck out of me. 

“What I think,” I throw back at her, “is that you have a pathological need to be right and to do everything on your own that’s actually getting in the way of feeling good about yourself. But I’ll cut my losses.”

“Good, are we finally going to do what we came here to do?” The way she says it honestly has me starting to think I made a huge mistake hooking up with her. Not that I can think of anyone else I’d rather be with - which is unusual, I’ll admit.

“Christ on a bike! Do you have somewhere else to be?” Ariel goes quiet; she clearly wasn’t expecting my question. I put a hand on her cheek and am about to pull her into another kiss when we’re disturbed by… a disturbance in the hallway. I’m far too curious to not check on that, so I quickly get dressed and head for the door to take a look. 

“What’s going on out there?” Ariel says as she fastens the buttons of her blouse. I’m surprised she asks: she had to have heard some of it. Including Marshall telling me there was nothing to worry about, and to go back inside. It didn’t seem like he had a handle on the situation, but there was no need for me to get in the middle of that. 

“Nothing important,” I say. And then it really registers what she’s doing. Is she serious? “You’re leaving?” 

“Yeah,” she says with a sigh, “this was a mistake.” I mean, I can’t deny that, but I was still intent on actually making that mistake. Something about the way she looks at me tells me she doesn’t actually want to leave, but she actually walks out the door, and I’m left standing there alone and confused. Very, very confused. 

[oroontheheels]

I assume that when creating Havik MK1 writer(s) had this whole idea of mocking “twitter libertarians” who always talk about PRIVILEGE and OPPRESSION.

At times Havik does sound like a broken record. And I supposed for fuckboys it must be very funny. “Finally! Somebody brave enough to show how stupid and nonsensical those libs are!”

But for me I really feel a bit enraged the more I think about Havik’s predicament. He was born a slave in a VERY fucked up place. If MK1 Seido is anything like Mk: Deception Seido, I already feel sorry for all of its citizens. Let alone those without any rights in a world of Order.

Havik is covered in scars, suffered deeply and had to make a deal with Quan Chi to get regeneration abilities.

Also Havik is clearly lost big chunk of his sanity along the way. This man is not ok in the slightest. Most of his intros he’s screaming at everyone.

And like ok, let’s analyse his position. First thing we see in Edenia is cops kicking starving and sick tarkata out of the city. No help being provided to them whatsoever.

Edenia is ruled by monarchy. Great. /s

Then Liu Kang shows up and stats criticising Havik delusional dreams of anarchy. Well bitch you could’ve let him chill in Chaosrealm with his homies. But you decided he needs to be born a slave, go trough torture and humiliation, until eventually he would ask Quan Chi for help.

Oh, sorry Liu, you wanted for Quan Chi to rot in coal mines or something. So in your perfect vision of the world, Havik wouldn’t even get any power-up to have a chance to help enslaved people of Seido??

Hello???

And if the whole idea “welp Havik was evil so he have a shitty life now” IT’S NOT EVEN HAVIK. Its just Dairrou with new origin story. Dairrou was a merc who just wanted to kick Hotaru’s ass. Not a blood god who tried to summon Shinnok.

As far as I know Dairrou wasn’t a radical. Wasn’t a terrorist. You made him that.

Fucking heck Liu.

And you have the audacity to come to Havik and complain that Havik thinks you dominate your followers. Yeah. Somebody accusing you of something is a waaaaay bigger problems then hmmm SLAVERY.

Good job Liu.

Good job MK1 writers. Making fun of oppressed (probably mentally Ill) person just to entertain fuckboys.

[super-hero-confessions]

The Boys fandom is really out here tossing their self awareness to the wind and I'm so tired of these clowns.

What the fuck.

1000 complaints about Hughie getting SA'd. 100000000 complaints about utter nonsense if not about satire itself and completely missing the mark. 10000000000000000 about the writing from people who seem to lack a fundamental understanding of creative freedom and respecting other artists ability to practice this or even what a HUMAN is by their apparent hatred of the characters not being fucking sock puppets that do everything perfectly exactly as they want or expect them to—because I'm sure the real life people in their day to day life work exactly like this and they have everything and everyone under control, no one ever makes an irrational or emotional decision.

Good job. Pat yourselves on the back. Clearly, you know everything and understand everything with enlightened clarity. Every argument and criticism of canon you make is not bad faith or completely biased because what you say is gospel and cannot be wrong because canon is wrong for not confirming those biases. Nevermind the blatantly displayed ignorance of what legitimate criticism is or lack of basic respect for other artists and points of view with the constant obvious oblivious white Karen gossip and baseless accusations! You care when SA happens to men—oh wait. Only specific men. That's right. The same people complaining about it happening to Hughie love to write shitty torture porn fanfic that does EXACTLY the same shit if not WORSE, by far, than anything the show's writers have come up with or done. The only difference is which CHARACTER they get off on torturing and that these fucking clowns actually do it to get off, the very thing they are... Accusing the writers of doing. Huh. Funny how that works out.

Homelander torture porn?

"A-OKAY! No tagging necessary even CAUSE WE ALL WANT IT AND HE TOTALLY DESERVES IT OR EVEN WANTS IT, who the fuck cares if it triggers someone! Also! Make it worse! Make an AU version of Homelander that is NOT a rapist—but torture him with rape anyway because somehow, he still deserves it! Lololololololololol he's such a bottom babygirl loooooooool!!1!1!"

Hughie torture porn?

"NO! BAD WRONG! HOW DARE THEY! HE DOESN'T DESERVE THAT AND I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT SO THE WRITERS SUCK!"

The old, "rules for thee, not for me" or " it's okay when I do it" bits, right?

FUCKING. HYPOCRITES. MAKE. IT. MAKE. SENSE.

Or AT LEAST tag your shit properly! I even think the episodes could have included additional warnings but we've known this kind of stuff is present since day one. But to write half the shit that these people put out in the fandom, fucking refuse to properly tag it—so it will inevitably trigger someone, and then have the audacity to complain about what the show does when they know damn well what the show does barely scratches the surface of some of the garbage these fanfic writers have written?

🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡

And yes, I'm calling it GARBAGE, not because it might be poorly written or OOC although there's certainly no shortage of that. People still refuse to acknowledge and tag their kinks properly.

These are the people who trigger others for fun but then complain when they get triggered. These are the people who give fanfic a bad rep. These are the people making BDSM stigmas worse. These are the people that routinely make DEAD DOVE the fucking SAFE SPACE, by comparison. Rape kinks are super fucking common—but they need to be tagged.

These are the people that write shit as badly romanticized and ignorantly trigger happy as Twilight or 50 Shades Of Grey and unironically think it's good.

Egos from fanfic writers more inflated than Homelander's should not be this common, especially when it's people who seem to get off on fucking triggering other people.

And look, I'm sorry for ranting but to put it bluntly, I shouldn't have to rant about this! Tagging is basic fanfiction etiquette, it is literally one of the rules on AO3. Refusing to tag or improperly tagging is a "failure to warn" and can get you suspended if it's a repeated pattern. They even have a catch-all warning in case you aren't sure! It's not difficult and it saves everyone time and pain.

Please be self aware, please tag your work accordingly. If you're someone who gets triggered by a work like this, please politely ask the author to tag it or just report it.

Considering the source materials and what it actually covers and criticizes, this behavior in the fandom is downright disgraceful.

[lunarsun12]

Suspicions

Masterlist

After the last week confrontation with BamBam. Lee Know has been acting strange especially around Han. Which makes the kids causes some suspicions about Lee Know weird behaviour, in case the rumour was true about him and chan marriage. (Please see Han sleeping habit in Masterlist for backstory)

Will Han and Lee Know will be found out?

Back At Stray Kids Chat

Today 6:00am

Felix��️: I CANNOT TAKE THIS ANYMORE! IS APPA AND EOMMA GETTING A DIVORCE

I.N🦊: What…? Eomma and Appa…?

Hyunjin🕺: Don’t be silly Lix, they are still cringe as ever

Felix☀️: SEUNGMIN TOLD ME! THAT THEY WILL BE A BIG CHANGE. IT MEANS EOMMA AND APPA GETTING DIVORCED!!

Hyunjin🕺: He must have been speaking nonsense. He doesn’t make sense when he is tired. Lix calm down

Felix☀️: Phew, seungmin really scared me!!

Few Hours Later…

Felix☀️: THIS IS NOT FAIR! EOMMA LITERALLY MADE ME DO CAT POOP DUTY

I.N🦊: What? He never does that! Lix did you let one of his cats out?

Hyunjin🕺: Now, you know how it feels to get blamed all the time

Seungmin🐶: Not blamed, fact. It’s always have your name on it!!

Felix☀️: No cat BUT Han! He was being unreasonable, he stole my AirPods. Then Eomma came and said stop bullying Han!!

Hyunjin🕺: Squirrel boy? Since when Eomma care about us??

I.N🦊: This is new! Everyone knows in this house! Lix never bullies!

Han🐿️: Wassup!! Fam~

Seungmin🐶: Good timing Han! What did you to Eomma!!

Han🐿️: Eomma? I don’t know what you mean? Maybe he changed a new leaf

Hyunjin🕺: HAH! As if!! If he changed then it like me being kind to you all

Felix☀️: IM TELLING APPA! I was wrongly accused!!

Few mins later…

Bangchan🐺: LEE KNOW YOU COME ONLINE RIGHT NOW!!

Lee Know🐱: I’m busy! It’s my cats feeding time!!

Bangchan🐺: HOW DARE YOU BLAME MY SUNSHINE CHILD!!

Lee Know🐱: He was harassing Han. As an Eomma I gotta step in!!

Bangchan🐺: He was trying to get his stuff back WHICH Han stole!!

Lee Know🐱: Oh? I’m sure Han will give it back

Changbin🙄: You making it so obvious!!

Bangchan🐺: BINNIE! Check where you are!!

Changbin🙄: Why are you freaking out? I said it’s obvious you favour Lix

Bangchan🐺: Oh…well Lix is in wrongly accused!!

Hyunjin🕺: THIS AN EMERGENCY! EOMMA W-WAS HUGGING HAN A BIT TOO AFFECTIONATELY!!

Seungmin🐶: Hugging Han? Accidental Marriage? This is way too suspicious…

I.N🦊: Now that you mentioned it, Eomma has been acting different after last week incident. It’s like he is trying prove something

Bangchan🐺: Kids, I talk to your Eomma! No need to panic

Back At Secret Chat

Bangchan🐺: MINHO! STOP WITH TRYING TO WIN HAN OVER

Lee Know🐱: Who said? I am doing this cause I care about the kids?

Changbin🙄: Han exclusively?

Bangchan🐺: Stop with this! You gotta accept! The divorce is not happening! The kids are already panicking!

Lee Know🐱: I will stop, when Han says he hates me

Han🐿️: Eomma, I like you but as mother and son way!! It’s disgusting to date you now!!

Lee Know🐱: Han!! How could you say this!! I haven’t done anything!!

Bangchan🐺: It best you don’t get werid with Han. Hyunjin already saw two hugging a bit too much!!

Bangchan🐺: Let of go of Han crush! Before I send Han to live with Binnie!! I have to keep the perfect family image!

Lee Know🐱: Fine…I will drop it…At least my cat loves me

Han🐿️: Eomma, you better promise! Or I’m telling Appa! You gave me nightmares today!!

Across the hallways, Chan heard Lee Know laughing

Bangchan🐺: Why are you laughing?

Bangchan🐺: Wait…? Are you messing the kids and me?

Lee Know🐱: Well yes but Han has always been my favourite kid

Lee Know🐱: After BamBam incident, it’s too funny to not mess around

Bangchan🐺: WHAT KIND OF MESSING AROUND IS THAT! YOU MADE THE KIDS WE ARE GONNA GET DIVORCED!!

[tremendouskoalachild]

hey. wanna see me write a call-out post for a shitty board game brand manager you've never heard of, and recap some tangentially mass effect-related local forum drama? i was tempted to censor who this guy is, but he does literally get into internet fights under his legal name and while declaring his work title and company, so...

first, a bit of context. in October 2024 Mass Effect: The Boardgame - Priority: Hagalaz (the title is reported inconsistently and i find the number of colons funny) goes up for pre-orders. it features beloved characters from the original ME trilogy, specifically those introduced in the first game, and is set during ME3.

video game discourse and culture war nonsense being what they are, people immediately notice the characters have their pronoun sets on their cards, and get mad. some fanboys get more specific, taking issue with Liara T'Soni's pronouns reported as she/they, and accusing the boardgame designer of not knowing original game's lore (never mind that Liara literally says she is not a woman in a key conversation in the first game, and that her first pronoun is still she).

the game gets review-bombed on boardgamegeek.com, its rating dismal and constantly changing (currently under 5/10 - very low for the site). the website tries to fight back, some fake reviews get deleted, long-time forum members get banned and bitch about it on twitter, it's a whole thing. the creator calls out the "anti-woke" bullshit on twitter and asks people who actually played the game to legitimately rate it, gets hate.

the biggest czech boardgaming site, zatrolene-hry.cz, also has discussion threads for upcoming games, and an article about the drama gets linked there. the discussion is mostly about how silly the whole thing is, plus BGG.com's response, with a couple self-identified "anti-DEI" movement members complaining about being oppressed by minorities. until:

an employee of the Czech branch of Asmodée (which has been announced to eventually publish the translated version in Czechia) weighs in, saying that the Czech version will absolutely not have pronouns if he can help it. translation by me bellow:

Well, we find it absolutely pointless, so there will be no pronouns on the Czech version of character sheets (we won't put them there and we're willing to argue with the publisher about it). It would make no sense to put them there.

if you're familiar with Slavic languages, you might think he's saying the pronouns are redundant information in a heavily gendered language, where the character's pronouns can be inferred from basically any statement made about them, or maybe that he knows from experience translations often need to condense the text to fit the same information on a card the same size as the original. nope!

he doubles down when questioned by other users, quickly devolving into overt transphobia, including a remixed attack helicopter joke (which most users don't get and mock the person who calls it out).

Could you please elaborate on what led to this decision? Is it an attempt to appease, or fear of upsetting someone, or some kind of power play, or what? As in, "We are Asmodee CZ and if you insist on it, we won't publish it. Don't you know, we know best what makes sense for your product and what does not." Do I get it or am I missing something? The pronouns make sense to me, because if I'm unfamiliar with the source material, then by just looking at images of aliens I won't easily recognize whether they're a he, she, it, or they.

I don't understand the question. Just as thousands of board games across the world over the last X years managed without pronouns, Mass Effect will too. The pronouns have absolutely no purpose there. Liara is a female-looking character, why should there be anything written under her? If you want, play the game with the feeling she identifies as a tram.

in reaction to someone assuming the decision carries over from the video game's localization (i don't see how? not like there's an in-game codex of characters with their pronouns?):

The translation is done by the PC game's translator. He pointed out the pronouns long before the internet shitstorm and we immediately agreed not to use them. So if anybody here is concerned about some kind of political decision, this was a purely practical one, quite a while ago. And it has been shown to be correct. Careful with the (lore-justifiable) identification of Liara as a woman, someone could have an aneurysm.

Slovak user Daqan, who criticized the transphobia on display, got a now-deleted response (the comment allegedly recommended seeking mental help, though i don't have the original text):

This comment earned you a complaint for inappropriate conduct sent to your parent company Asmodee.com

[This post broke the rules of the forum and was thus deleted. The reason was, in our view, verbally attacking (mocking, denigrating, etc.) a person or group of people.]

Now that's what I call a Brand Manager :-)

after this, two different site admins weigh in. Michal gets mad about the deleted comment, declares he is "ending his 17 years of cooperation, with immediate effect" with zatrolene-hry.cz, and doesn't participate in any site discussion since. (he has last logged on today, though.)

the forum then turns into a long, day+ spanning discussion about censorship, and whether Daqan is the real villain in all this. also arguing about whether the character who says, out loud, at multiple points, that she is not a woman, is actually a woman because she is referred to as "she" in a 2007 video game.

to top it all off, machine-translated screenshots of Michal's original comments show up on r/boardgames.

[rikkiwildfire]

A Matter of Eighty Dollars

In an apartment in a town in a corner of some place you've never been to, Douglby D. Douglby III, a woefully depressing and stupidly named man, sat at his desk, typing away at some flavor of typing machine.

"I've done it!" Douglby said, throwing the typing machine across the room and into a wall. "After all these years, I've actually, truly, and no-kiddingly finished it - my first novel!"

But as Douglby drooled on his manuscript with joy, he heard a knock at his front door.

"Oh. That must be an agent ready to buy my book."

Douglby opened the door to find a man in a funny hat standing there.

"Douglby D. Douglby III?" the man said.

"That's a good guess," Douglby said, wiping the spittle from his bottom lip. "Are you here to give me money for the novel I've just finished?"

"You mean, 'Randall Fartdragon and the Stones of Manliness?'"

"So you have heard of it."

"Oh, I've more than heard of 'Randall Fartdragon and the Stones of Manliness,' Mr. Douglby," the man said, pushing past Douglby and picking up the drool-soaked manuscript. "I wrote it fifteen years ago."

"Fifteen years ago?" Douglby muttered to himself, then once more just to be certain he had. "I'm sorry, Mister...?"

"Dave Daveson, original creator, author, and owner of not only Randall Fartdragon, but the entire Liquid Dreams franchise."

"My apologies, Mr. Liar, but are you accusing me of plagiarizing the work of someone I haven't even slept with?"

"No, my supple Mr. Douglby. Nothing quite so extravagant."

"Good. But you are here to give me money?"

"No, I'm afraid not, Mr. Douglby. I'm here to verify the results of the simulation."

"Simulation?"

"That's right. And I'm a bit embarrassed to admit this, but I didn't think you'd actually succeed. I mean, it certainly took you long enough. But here it is, word for word. I'd be absolutely impressed if I weren't so utterly pissed off."

"I'm sorry?"

"No need for apologies, Mr. Douglby," Mr. Daveson said, throwing the manuscript against a different wall. "It was all part of the plan, afterall." 

"There you go again. What does this nonsense about plans and simulations have to do with my book?"

"Well, if you must know, Mr. Douglby, a critic of mine, a Mr. Fakename, had the nerve to say my work was so inspidly simple and simply insipid that even a depressingly talentless, witless, and wholly useless moron could manage to replicate it if given enough time."

"Uh-huh."

"So, just to prove him wrong, I paid my neighbor - a nice boy by the name of Kennethon - twenty dollars to construct this simulation in which a man - you, Mr. Douglby - would toil one painful day after the next, drowning in self-doubt and shame until, at last, you've served your purpose."

"Sounds like a lot of work for twenty dollars."

"Yes. But he assured me it was easier than mowing lawns."

"You mean my entire existence is a fabricated fiction, crafted by you, programmed by a child, and all for the sake of validating your existence in the face of criticism that likely had little-to-no adverse impact on the course of your career whatsoever?"

"That's right."

"Makes sense."

"You're taking all of this rather well."

Douglby shrugged. "One thing's as good as another. Good to have a purpose in life, you know. Bit of comfort in the face of unblinking eternity."

"Speaking of 'unblinking eternity' - it's time I get going."

"Of course. But, what's next?"

"Next?"

"Yeah, for the simulation. Now that I've fulfilled our purpose."

Mr. Daveson puzzled this. "I hadn't thought about that. Turn it off, I would think."

"Turn it off?"

"You can't possibly expect me to continue paying for all this, can you? You've just cost me eighty dollars."

"I thought you said twenty."

"For Kenny's work, yes. But now I've also lost a bet with Mr. Fakename, and that's another sixty."

"I don't think I like being a simulation."

"Perhaps you should have thought about that before you stole my work, hm?" Mr. Daveson said, then turned to the doorway. "Kenny, you can turn it off! We're done here!"

And as an author and seller of used erotica watched a man in a funny hat storm out his front door, he couldn't help but wonder if he'd get his full security deposit back regardless of the typing machine-shaped dent in his wall.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

if reqs are alright rn, may I request a reader who has a hyper interest in psychology and behaviors, with arkhamverse dork squad? Like they raddle on about different psych facts that may come to mind with every day things or out of nowhere, and sometimes psychoanalyzes the boys without meaning to- I hope this is alright!

Psych Hyperfixative Reader w/ the Dork Squad (Arkhamverse flavor)

Absolutely alright! Very fun (and maybe a tad relatable, whoops). I wasn't sure if you wanted outright romantic, so I went more caring could go either way.

TW: Mentions of Jervis's mind control

Mad Hatter

- It's something you love and are interested in! He cares for you so therefore he's giving you full attention.

- You might get neuroscience facts back, even if they seem confusing the way Jervis explains them. He promises they relate! It is usually related, just hard to see unless you are also a neuroscientist.

- It's so funny to talk about why people do things, especially since he can make them do things! The psychology of the compliant.

- Be wary of analyzing him. When talking strictly about behaviors or mannerisms, hes likely to ooo and ah over your "expertise."

- "How clever! I do that all the time and I never noticed... how lucky am I to have you at my side forever!"

- If, though, you were to start psychoanalyzing him, there are a couple things that can happen. Keep in mind a lot of this is because he can be unpredictable.

- One is that he gets paranoid. Why are you saying things like that? This whole time have you been a spy for The Red Queen? He goes off on tangents/delusions that are unhealthy for his mindset.

- He laughs it off as you being a card "like Jon."

- He gets snippy or aggressive. Just what are you accusing him of...? He doesn't want to talk about the bad things he did. The horrible things he did...

- finally, he's in a more lucid period and seems anxious, remorseful, but trying to be supportive of your interest still.

Riddler

- The rambling gets a lot of "uh-huh" "oh interesting" because he wants you to feel sort of like you're being listened to, but doesn't want to put in effort when the conversation isn't about him or something he wants to talk about. It's your interest but... he's been around a lot of psychology over the years. Plus he gets it from Jon. The fact he's trying instead of telling you to fuck off is a big deal.

- "Congratulations on being more intelligent than my psychiatrist in Arkham. It's not a difficult feat, but it's still an accomplishment you should be proud of. Maybe."

- Has a love-hate relationship with being analyzed. Loves talking about himself, he could do that for hours. Hates having his vulnerable bits poked at. Ask him what fascinates him about making riddlerbots, not more nonsense about his father.

- Also be prepared to have those tables turned on you if you press too hard, even accidentally. He can make quite a few astute observations about people in a short time. Blunt verging on cruel. If you get upset, he'll stand by it but definitely feel like a dick.

Scarecrow

- He thinks the chatter is charming, actually. Reminds him of when he had students. You might be his favorite teacher's pet, though.

- Likely he'll respond back with his own facts or even relatable experiences from the Before. Before he was disgraced, before he lost his mind, before the mauling- When he was practicing.

- He's the one to realize any psychoanalysis by you is not intentional. At very first he was intent on showing you he could get into your mind better than you his-

- But you either apologize or he notes a rather... oblivious tone to the way you speak. Ah, it's not meant to be a dig or you trying to be coy.

- What he might do is try to redirect you a little. You know, the best way to get certain kinds of information from someone is x, y, and z as questions.

- Subtly, he'll do it back to see if you notice. Nothing too harsh or deep into any trauma, though he certainly could go there if he's feeling prickly.

- However, he does his best to realize this is a hyperfixation and not to get defensive if you accidentally hit a sore spot.

[itsclydebitches]

I'm ngl I feel kinda afraid to mention any positive aspects abt the show bc it feels abit nowadays like you just, can't enjoy it anymore. Like no matter what RWBY does you won't be happy and any positive aspects mentioned you'd find a way to turn into something bad or Not Good Enough and idk I love most of your essays but that kinda throws me off. I just wish you were able to watch it a bit less... Against It. Hating it is fine, I hate it, it's a horribly written horribly paced mess with awful characters, awful humour and the worst voice acting in the industry, but I can unapologetically appreciate when a good scene happens and it feels like you can't, or at least can't without adding 50 asterisks and conditionals and ways it could be better. IDK it makes me a bit sad sometimes, since you dedicate so much time to this.

I feel you, anon, though we've known this was coming for years. Unlike a collection of short stories or other, separated media, the longer RWBY makes mistakes the more future content is going to suffer. Four years past where I personally think the show started having serious issues, yeah, there's more to criticize than praise (imo, obviously) and I'm not inclined to pretend otherwise. You say yourself, "I hate it, it's a horribly written, horribly paced mess with awful characters, awful humor, and the worst voice acting in the industry" so honestly I'm a little confused as to where you think these good scenes are that I'm missing. If the plot, tone, characters, humor, and acting all suck, what are we left with? And if you "hate" the show, why would you expect others to find more to praise?

Personally, I feel like I do appreciate the good scenes when we see them, but yeah, they're going to come with those 50 asterisks because, as said, everything is interconnected. If the show does a good job depicting Ruby's grief over Penny, I'm still going to question why we didn't get that when she first died. If the show nails an awesome "I'm still just small" line from Little, that unfortunately makes all the terrible humor surrounding it that much more apparent. My recaps strive to unpack all the aspects that I see, which means that after years of missteps the good stuff is coming with a huge load of baggage. For me, it would be a serious misrepresentation of the text to go, "Wow, Weiss hitting herself in the head with a rock sure was funny! Good on RWBY for writing such a comedic scene" and just ignore the context of that interrupting Ruby's grief because I don't want my recaps to be too mean. These recaps aren't going to RT. They're not written with the intention coaxing a writer towards improvement without breaking their spirit. There's absolutely no reason why I should pull punches - say less than everything I'm thinking - especially in a fandom that already works so hard to paint RWBY as better than I personally think it is.

I'm not going to insult you by assuming your intentions, but frankly I really dislike this whole 'It's so sad you can't enjoy the show anymore, you've dedicated so much to this, what's the point if you're not praising it?' perspective. I've heard it a lot over the years and 99% of the time it's sanctimonious nonsense. Again, I'm not accusing you of that, anon, just acknowledging that a lot of people have tried to "help" me over the years not because they care, but because they don't want anyone criticizing RWBY and have realized that outright attacks haven't worked. But the reality is that you don't know me, or what I get out of RWBY, or what's an enjoyable way for me to spend my time. It's totally fine - and understandable - if you're upset that my recaps have grown more and more critical over the years, but the answer to that discomfort is to stop reading them. There's no constructive criticism to offer here, just an implied request for me to lie and say that I think the show is better written than it actually is... which isn't going to happen. You shouldn't be "afraid" to mention a positive take - the fandom is 99% positive takes - and if you don't like the idea of sending in an ask and me potentially disagreeing, there are thousands of other RWBY content creators who will give you an enthusiastic response. Yeah, it sucks that you can't read recaps overflowing with praise and it sucks that I can't write them, but that's due to RWBY making those major mistakes and allowing them to snowball for half a decade. As said, you claim to "hate" the show and provided a long list of its broad and far-reaching problems, anon. You should thus understand that the problem here is in RWBY being really badly written, not me acknowledging that it's really badly written.

[gliphyartfan]

@stars-for-thought @imprisioned-in-the-hole @linked-heroes @ice-cream-writes-stuff

This...wrecked me.

BUT it was a long time coming! Had to cut half of it out cause it grew too long (nearly 6k is still long right?). But I did it! I honestly hope I did it justice!

If not for @yandere-linked-universe, I would have lost all motivation a week ago!

But I was successful!

Still though...heroes and their need to argue...

It wasn't something they've done in a long while.

Gathering around one another.

Not willingly at the least.

Eight of them sitting a fair distance away from the houses, the camp fire being the only source of light for them at this time of night.

Hyrule the last one to arrive, having checked up on (y/n) before arriving at the designated place, so the eight simply sat around the camp fire in silence, stewing in their own thoughts.

When he arrives, informing them of y/n's stable condition, it was then Legend claps his hands and brings their attention to him.

'I think I speak for all of us when I say we need to air out some things.' He would give them all a stern look. 'And let me be clear on the fact that we can't hide anything right now.'

None of them look at each other.

Hyrule nervously agrees but expresses concern over being heard by the nearby houses, more worried at disturbing (y/n) than he was about disturbing the neighbors.

Wind assures him that they wouldn't be heard.

'Mesa doesn't sleep at night cause of the monsters that used to pop up, plus he hates being alone nowadays so he stays with Miss Sue-Belle and her grandpa at night.' Wind explained with a shrug.

'Even if he was there, he's a really heavy sleeper, we could scream at the very top of our lungs all we want and no one would hear us from over here. I've tested it.'

'How convenient.' Wars remarked with a snort but wouldn't make a comment after getting a look from Time.

Before things could become awkward, Legend does not hesitate to be blunt about it.

'We need to stop.' He would say, resting his elbows on his knees.

'Stop what?' Wild mutters.

'All of 'this'.' He's wave his hand towards the group, a scowl on his face.

Wars rolls his eyes.

'Legend, my dear hoarder, you need to be more specif-'

' When was the last time we talked to one another without taking note of eachothers weaknesses?'

Warriors closed his mouth, the group looked at each other, none speaking up with an answer.

'When was the last time we actually shared a space without tension? Covered each other in battle because we were worried instead out of obligation, or just leaving each other to fend for themselves? Or shared our potions willingly?' A sharp smile on his face. 'Or better yet, when was the last time we trusted one another?'

...

No one had anything to say to that.

Legend shook his head, a scowl appearing. 'I'm not dumb, I can see what's in front of me. Whatever trust we forged during our journey is at risk of fading to almost nothing. It's a fucking miracle y/n hasn't noticed us going for each other's throat.

'Okay, that's a bit harsh.' Sky interjected nervously, 'I agree that it's possible things have been...rather tense lately, but I wouldn't say it's that bad.'

Legend leveled a look at him.

'Four, Wild, and Twilight have all scared off at least 12 different people for looking at her recently.'

'It was necessary!' Four exclaimed in defense, Twilight placing a hand on his shoulder keep him from jumping up from his seat, Wild staying in his seat, though his hands tightened into fists. ' We saw the intentions in their eyes! The way they stared at her! They were looking at her like she was food!'

Legend turned the leveled look at the blacksmith.

'All 12? All of them? In the same town? In the same day? He asked with a scoffed, 'Same hour? Half of them women? Oh yes, very dangerous. And it's rather convenient when the Cook joins in and helps you scare them away.'

Four had a sneer on his face but the silent rancher's hand on his shoulder kept him from doing anything else.

Legend watched them for another moment before turning back to Sky.

'Warriors and Hyrule have been awfully careful with keeping any of us from encroaching upon her personal space, either by being the ones to guard her while she's bathing or when she's hurt.'

'What, so that makes us suspicious?' The captain crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow at him, Hyrule nervously ducking his head. 'She deserves some space away from you clingy lot! We're just making sure she has it!'

'Funny how you say that when you've been taken advantage of your position to have some alone time with her.' Legend doesn't even look away from the skyloftian as he answers back. 'You know, you're quite charming when you think no one is paying attention. And don't think I haven't noticed how our resident healer has been hoarding potions for some time.'

Warriors and Hyrule tensed at being found out, keeping their eyes from settling on anyone else's as they were looked at.

'The old man has been very careful in sending one of us ahead when there's danger. That honestly took me a bit to figure out, since he rotates who goes. Yet he never seems to volunteer himself.' The vet looked over at Time, who's featured remained impassive.

'Wild has been more aggressive with strangers than Four, which is saying something considering how violent the blacksmith has been. The sailor has been growling at every kid that's been as close as 5 feet of her and clings to her when he thinks we're too busy, and don't think I haven't noticed the way you've been nudging the tension between everyone while going through her things Sky.'

He raised an eyebrow as he looked back at the pale faced skyloftian.

'And you're telling me it's not that bad?'

There wasn't anything the group could say to those (accurate) accusations, Four looked to be visibly restraining himself from hitting him.

...

'...Maybe it's because you all force your presence on her...'

'...What was that?' Four growled out, solid blue eyes snapping up to glare at the speaker.

Wind lifted his head, glaring back at the blacksmith.

'You heard me Blacksmith, or is your attention span as short as your height?' He sneered. 'You all force your presence on her when she wants to be left alone! At least she feels comfortable with me!'

Four sneered back at Wind. 'The way you hog her attention is the very comforting.'

'Hey, I at least GIVE her space! I saw how you yelled at that shopkeeper when he asked if she needed anything-'

'I had to! Didn't you see the way that disgusting bastard-'

...

Legend watched as the group slowly dissolved into chaos. Each hero soon shouting at one another.

This is what he had been worried about for so long, and here was proof that the trust they had between one another is dangerously close to collapsing.

He watched as Twilight was talking coldly to Time, who didn't even have the decency to look ashamed of his choices.

Four and Wind were at each other's throats and Warriors was basically growling at Wild, who was screaming about how he always knew Warriors was keeping y/n away from everyone else.

Sky and Hyrule, who were shouting at each other over what they've been doing.

He needed to get them back on track, so with a deep breath, he whistled as loudly as he could.

He began speaking the moment they all looked at him.

'Well ain't this a beautiful example of shit I've ever seen!'

'Enough Veteran!' Time ordered, speaking up for what seemed the first time since this conversation began.

'You've been doing a good job keeping quiet old man, better get back to being a good boy and let the big people talk.' Legend didn't need to look at Time to know his expression was thunderous.

'All of you acting like little BRATS, ready to play 'it's not my fault, it's YOURS.' A humorless laugh escaping him.

'News flash bastards, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULTS.' His grin was more bearing teeth than a grin.

'None of you are innocent.'

He expected Wild to shout at him, maybe Wind or Sky. Hell, the good captain looked ready to tackle him.

Yet it was Four who jumped to his feet, growling at the Veteran.

The smaller boy slipped away from the hands restraining him, rushing forward and grabbed the taller boy's collar, slamming their foreheads together and hissing, 'Just who the hell do you think you are?!?'

'That's a funny question.' He remarked mockingly, making sure not to show that the head bashing hurt. 'Considering how you seem to think you're in the right.'

Four wasn't pleased by his comment. 'I'll take out anyone that lays a malicious hand on her. How dare you even insinuate that I would let such a thing happen!'

'For someone who sounds so sincere, you have a funny way of showing it.' Legend retorted with gritted teeth, never taking his eyes off the shorter man's.

'Acting like you care but when it matters, you're as blind as the rest of us. That's why she got hurt.'

The others surged forward,

'How dare you-"

'That's not true-'

'Damnit Vet, you can't just-'

'SHE NEARLY DIED DAMNIT!!' He shoved Four back, basically throwing him to the floor, having enough of everyone's nonsense.

Everyone stills at his words.

'SHE'S STILL UNRESPONSIVE!! SHE'S ALMOST DIED BECAUSE OF OUR FUCKING RIVALRY!!!' He blazed with impotent rage.

'She's laying in that house, because she got LUCKY. Do you hear me?' He emphasized his point by gesturing in the direction of Wind's house.

'Because had we not gotten our shit together? Had we argued just a moment more? We would have been standing before her GRAVE.'

His face was dark with fury.

'And you have the fucking nerve to tell me I'm in the wrong?' He hissed through clenched teeth.

...

...It is quiet.

The veteran stared right into the blacksmith's eyes, vaguely noticing how it shifted colors rapidly. The way his face twitched, as if physically restraining himself from saying something he would regret.

Out of the corner of his eye, he could see the others frozen in different positions of action.

Some halfway out of their seats, others reaching for the two of them as if to pull them away from each other.

He focused back on Four, noticing his jaw was tightly clenched.

'WE. NEED. HER. ' he said in a firm voice.

This seemed to make him flinch, but Legend wasn't finished. He took a deep breath and lowered his voice a few notches though he was still partly yelling.

'Not the other way around. SHE doesn't need us.' he slowly shook his head as he looked at every one of them.

'She NEVER needed us.'

Four looked away at that.

'We need her more than we need air in our lungs. Need her more strongly than water or food. ' He focused back on Four and pointed at him.

'And you...you think I'm going to let you, let any of you, let MYSELF, lose her because we couldn't control ourselves?' His chuckle was icy, his smile was unpleasant and full of teeth.

'Oh you don't know me as well as I thought. '

'Because allow me to be as clear as possible when I say, I would slaughter anyone that laid a filthy hand on her' Legend leaned forward, smiling coldly. 'Push me enough, and you'll be on the list.'

'Isn't that extreme..?!' Hyrule exclaimed worriedly, looking at Legend with an uncertain expression.

'Oh...so you wouldn't hurt them if they laid a hand on her? You would actually hesitate to tear off limbs if they forced her to go with them. If they dared to speak her like some cheap whore-'

'How could you even say that-!!!'

'That is uncalled for!'

Legend spread his arms out. 'Well you all might as well be saying you would!!'

'Hold your tongue or I'll cut it!' Wild suddenly snarled, Twilight, visibly tense from Legend' words, was forced to put both hands on Wild.

'I bet you would just stand there while they tried, hm? Stand there while she cries for your help?' He kept pushing, because he needed to. 'Just stand there, watching her shed her tears? Stand there and let. them. touch her? Is that what you would do? Answer me.'

'Don't you DARE say such a thing.' Wild growled, his lips drew back in a snarl.

'You all seem so eager in proving me right, I see nothing wrong with saying this if this is how you really feel.' He masked a scowl with a smirk even as the others began to raise their voices again.

'WHAT THE HELL!'

'You miserable pile of-!!'

'JUST TELL ME YOU'RE READY TO ABANDON HER SO I CAN KEEP HER AWAY FROM YOU ALL!!'

'HOW DARE YOU!!' Warriors roared, suddenly on his feet and in Legend's face.

'You think you can accuse us like this, act like you have the high ground, and expect us to sit here and take it?!' Legend didn't even hesitate shoving him away.

'I can accuse you all I want! Whatever friendship we may still have be damned, BECAUSE YOU'RE AS GUILTY AS I AM!!!' Legend shouted, even as the captain grabbed the front of his tunic and pulled him up to his face again.

'WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE.'

'I'M ONE WHO'S ACTUALLY TRYING TO FIX THIS MESS!! UNLIKE YOU WHO'S READY TO LET HER END UP AS A CORPSE BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T NOTICE YOU THE WAY YOU WANT HER TO!!'

'You miserable, disrespectful, arrogant-

'STOP ACTING LIKE YOU'RE NOT PART OF THE FUCKING PROBLEM YOU STUPID SOLDIER!!'

'SHUT UP! JUST SHUT UP!'

'NO! WAKE UP FROM YOUR FUCKING FANTASIES!'

'What gives you the FUCKING RIGHT-'

'BECAUSE I LOVE HER YOU BASTARD!!'

The admittance silenced them swiftly.

But he didn't care at the moment.

He was breathing deeply after saying those words. Face flushed with anger. Fists clenched so tightly, they were bone white.

'I. Love. her.' He hissed to a frozen Warriors.

'I. Need. her.' He grabbed the wrist attached to the had gripping his tunic.

'I. Can't. Lose. Her.' He bared his teeth, slowly shaking his head.

'I won't hesitate.' He voice was a whisper at this point. But it didn't matter. The crackling fire was the only other sound at moment.

'I won't hesitate to kill anyone that takes her away from me.'

...

And that's what he needed them to understand. Needed them to understand that as much as he cared for this group, as much as he's willing to put the effort to fix things...

If they didn't work together?

There would be corpses.

And he wouldn't be one of them.

He wanted to keep screaming at them. Wanted they to hang their heads in shame as he pointed out every flawed thing they've done as of late.

But he..sighed.

'I want..so much.. ' He began, looking straight into Warriors' eyes, a numb sense of calm filling him. 'I want so many impossible things.'

'I want to fall asleep to her peaceful face, and wake up to the sight of her kind smile. I want her to lean against me as she draws, to watch her eyes light up when I show her something new. To see her laugh, hear her hum a tune, to know I'm the reason she glows with happiness.'

He could feel the pale faced captain tremble beneath his grip.

'I want the exact same thing you bastards want...' he took a deep breath, to settle his heart.

'I just want her by my side every single day.'

His voice almost quiet.

'I don't want to lose her.'

Silent stillness enveloped them after Legend had finished speaking, only the sound of the crinkling fire all that was audible at the moment.

Warriors stared at him, swallowing. visibly shaken by the veteran's honesty.

After a beat, Legend slowly pulls the captain's hand off of him.

He was met with no resistance.

He looks at them all. Tired, drained, a headache slowly making itself known.

'So...' he raised an eyebrow, tone dull, 'How about the cook whip us up something.'

Wild blinked, startled by being acknowledged.

'Wha-'

'And while he's at it, our resident healer can check up on our mutual darling.'

Hyrule jolted at the sudden acknowledgment.

'We have a lot to talk about and we can't do it on empty stomachs and worry in our minds.' He grinned sardonically, slowly clapping his hands twice.

'Chop chop people. The night is still young.'

--

--

It took a while for them to speak up after that, because what could one say after such an outburst?

It soothed their hearts when Hyrule returned, saying she was healing nicely. That information helped them calm down while using the time Wild spent cooking to gather their thoughts.

It was difficult to come up with something after the explosive event of earlier.

They were silent when their food was served.

Silent as they ate.

But slowly, very slowly, they did.

Legend pulling the words out of them.

Each grievance, thought and feeling.

It was a snail's pace, but as the Veteran calmly pushed them into speaking, the atmosphere surround the group slowly calmed, the words flowing just a bit easier than before.

'I just don't want her to leave.' Hyrule admitted quietly, looking down at his hands, almost ashamed to admit such a thing.

Warriors sighed. 'I think I speak for all of us when I say the feeling is mutual.'

Murmurs of agreement met his words.

' I don't disagree. It's obvious why, she's...just so kind.' Sky shyly put out, a small blush on his face.

'I mean, when was the last time she even demanded something from any of us?'

Warriors couldn't help but snort. 'I think you mean to say 'when has she ever demanded anything from us?'

'I believe I can answer that.' Time said, speaking up after staying silent for most of the evening.

Four raised an eyebrow. 'Oh, and when was this?'

'When she and I got separated, I injured my leg fighting the Lynel? Back in Legend's era I believe it was.'

'I remember that!' Wind piped in, snapping his fingers and pointing at Time. 'In the lost woods! She was tugging your ear when I reached you guys!'

Time nodded with a chuckle, resting his chin on his hand.

'Got quite the lecture too. She can be...quite stern when pushed enough.'

' That was the first time she saw one of us fight a Lynel wasn't it...' Twilight realized, blinking in comprehension. 'I can't believe I forgot that. She must have been terrified witnessing such a thing.

'Ah, but that was the thing. She was calm when she saw me kill it.'

'So she has thicker skin than an average civilian.' Legend sighed. 'Impressive but not that surprising.'

'Don't get me wrong Vet, she was quite unnerved when she saw the battle but once it was over and she saw my injury, I was the main focus.' He looked down, almost unaware that he was touching the place where the injury once was.

'She could have gone to get one of you guys, I knew she heard you calling out to us, we both did, but she stayed.' He smirked then, 'Pulled out a couple of red potions from her bag too.'

He had the group looking at him in surprise.

'Wait, potions?'

'Who gave her a potion?'

'Wars, was it you?'

'I would remember that!'

'Well well, isn't she well prepared.'

'Looks like she's paying attention to the Vet's paranoia!'

'Ha ha, such flattery.'

'Did she buy a few in town before we swapped eras?'

'Actually she has a stash of them in the event of one of us becoming injured and she's the only one around.' Time interjected, one of his amused grins on his face.

That brought another round of questions.

'She knows how to make potions?!'

'No Wind, we would have seen her.'

'It's not something that could be hidden either.'

'And where did she get the money to buy enough potions?'

'When'd she have the time to even get potions??'

'My question is, how did we not see her get the potions?'

' Did she tell you?' Time snorted softly as the last question was directed at him.

'Matter of fact, yes. Clever answer too, know all those 'silly bets' she got us to agree to?'

He waited for them to nod. ' Well, she's been stashing every rupee she's won from us specifically to buy 'emergency potions'. He answered with a breathy chuckle. 'As for when? She's been buying them from Beedle when we were at stables. And since we also give her money to buy herself stuff...'

'None of us would be the wiser.' Legend finished for him.

'You're serious aren't you...' Warriors couldn't help but say.

'Absolutely.' Time nodded, not able to suppress a grin when he realised the captain's tone was admiring.

'She looked so embarrassed, thought I would be upset with her for ' sneaking behind our backs'. Tried to justify it by saying it 'felt stupid to be the only one in the group who wasn't prepared for some type of emergency.'' A round of chuckles emerged from the group as they all imagined the expression on her face.

'When she saw my injury, she immediately pulled out the potions from her pouch, didn't even pause in shoving a few into my hands and asking me how much pain I was in.' He smiled at the memory. 'That's when I made the foolish mistake of telling her to leave me there and go find one of you.'

' And you lived to tell the tale?' Warriors asked, smirking widely.

'Barely, the glare I receive was quite fierce.' Time didn't even bother to hold the laughter down, still remembering how startled he had been, having such a glare directed at him.

'Like a raging Goddess, she demanded I take better care of myself, or face mothering the likes of which I never saw before.' He looked exasperated, yet his voice was the definition of amused.

' She then proceeded to baby talk me until I agreed.'

Time was not ashamed as the group roared with laughter.

'Are you serious?'

'Poor man!' Warriors reached over and clapped a hand on the older man's shoulder.

'Oh, THAT must have been uncomfortable!' Sky commented between breaths.

' I barely lasted a few sentences before I was pleading for mercy.' He rolled his eyes and huffed through his nose.

'So THAT'S why you were so careful in battle the weeks after.' Hyrule realized, grinning as Time shrugged.

'When I'm threatened with something like THAT? How can I do anything else but obey?'

Wars held his hands up in a shrug, smirk on his face. 'Ah but who are we to question Her divine command?'

'Who are we indeed..' Time murmured with a breathy laugh.

Wild smirked, eyes glinting with glee. 'Speaking of her doing things we don't expect, Vet! Remember when she met Wolfie?'

Legend smirked, even as Twilight send a glare at the cook. 'Rather brave of her, despite never being near an actual wolf before. '

Sky frowned. 'But didn't she look nervous?' Twilight sighed as Legend and Wild let out a laugh.

' You would think! But she apparently didn't want to break any unspoken rules about touching him.' Wild couldn't resist the sharp grin as he eyed the embarrassed rancher. 'You should have seen her when she was given the okay. I'm surprised the mutt was able to escape her constant pets and kisses.'

Twilight wasn't able to keep the blush down when Wind grumbled a very clear 'Lucky bastard.' To the amusement of everyone else, especially those who knew his secret.

They fell into a comfortable silence after that, the sound of the waves a song that filled their ears, the wind playing with their hair as they got lost in thought.

'...Go and bring peace to Hyrule.'

They looked at Wild, he was looking at the sea. 'Every time I went to one of those statues, that's what Hylia would tell me.'

He dug his boot into the sand. 'She would heal me up when I had enough spirit orbs, fill me with vitality, but every time she finished, she would always say those same words.' He grimaced

'And every time, I would think, 'is she healing me because cares, or because I'm just a means to an end?''

Wild shooked his head, never taking his eyes off the sea.

'Even though I've fought evil for her sake. For Zelda's sake. I always felt like she wanted more.' He grimaced.

“I don’t even know what more I could have given…” He admitted, “Always thinking that I’ll one day wake up and realize that I was fated to sacrifice more.'

Then a small smile pulled at his lips, 'But when I'm with (y/n)...I don't feel that weight of responsibility...the weight of those thoughts.' His words were barely above a whisper by the end.

'With her...I feel free.'

For several moments, there was stillness. Watch of them could feel the bite of the ocean breeze on their skin, the heat of the campfire barely able to hold off the chill and darkness surrounding them.

"She said she was proud of me..' Wild whispered, "Said that every breath I took, every moment I opened my eyes to greet the day, was rebellion against what destiny, what Ganon, had wanted.'

'She saw me, a failure of a hero, and said she was proud of me,' He whispered, unable to trust himself with anything louder. 'How could I possibly love another when she says such things with so much honesty?'

He closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

'How could I go on, following Hylia's command blindly, when (y/n) comes to me with those kind eyes and says She just wants me to be happy?'

'Hylia does not want champions.' Time shook his head, smirking bitterly. 'She merely wants toy soldiers.'

Sky's eyes flew up to the look at eldest of the group.

'Surely that's a bit much, Hylia..has done what she could for us.'

'Who is Hylia? A being who seeks soldiers to clean up her mess? A being who only expects us to obey?' Time interjected.

Sky swallowed. 'But..she's assisted us-'

Time shook his head. 'No, she simply made sure we survived long enough to eliminate her enemies.'

Wild frowned, rubbing the back of his neck. 'When you think about it, he's right. We have never worshiped Hylia because we wanted to. But because we were obligated to. Because most of us were raised to believe it was an honor.'

He looked at Sky. 'But...isn't a goddess of benevolence supposed to be someone who is kinder than a mortal could comprehend? Someone who cares for her servants for no other reason than because we love her as much as she loved us?'

Twilight smiled bitterly. 'A goddess like that is someone I wouldn't mind serving. '

'Isn't that why we love Her so?' Legend said softly.

Warriors looked at him oddly. '(y/n) isn't a goddess Legend.'

Legend looked at him with carefully impassive expression. 'But we want her to be.'

They all looked anywhere but at him.

'You've all already admitted it. Even if you don't want to say it.' Legend smirked.

'Vet-'

''Who are we to question Her divine command?'' He repeated, smirking when the captain's mouth snapped shut.

'We all want her to be.' Legend repeated, catching Hyrule's eye and staring him down.

-Admit it.- His eyes said. Hyrule flinching at being seen through. Wanting to deny the silent accusation.

...But his heart wouldn't let him deny such a thing either.

'...(y/n) would make a better goddess than hylia.' He admitted, looking down.

Sky snap his attention to the traveler, his eyes slightly wide.

'Hyrule-' Legend cut Sky off, looking right at the skyloftian.

'Can you deny that she's already better than hylia?' Sky seemed to struggle with an answer, but Legend didn't wait for an answer.

'Is She not kinder, sweeter, more beautiful than anyone else? She never asks for anything other than our safety and happiness. Becomes upset when we try to do more than we can handle and tries to actually help us whenever she can. '

Twilight sighed, but nodded in agreement. 'Her presence is like a soothing warmth that never falters. I don't think I've ever had someone who's presence relieved me the way Hers does.'

He grimaced. 'Not even Hylia herself can claim such a thing.'

A glance at Sky, causing him to grimace and look away.

'Someone with a beautiful soul like Hers...' Hyrule whispered, folding his hands in front of his chest, almost like he was praying.

'I..I could worship someone like Her everyday without regret.' He looked away, as if shameful of his admittance.

'..What's wrong with that?' Hyrule looked at who spoke.

'Wars?'

Warriors did not look at him, staring at the ground. But his face had shifted into an expression of thoughtfulness. 'What's wrong with wanting to worship her? '

Hyrule's face flushed red. '..it...it seems a bit inappropriate to-'

'Because we're supposed to worship Hylia?' He looked up at him. 'Farore? Nayru? Din?'

'...I-'

Wind frowned, looking around. ' Why can't we worship who we desire? Worship someone we CAN trust?'

Twilight bit his lip, shaking his head. 'That's too much of a dream to even CONSIDER-'

Legend barked a laugh.

'Dreams are only dreams until we make them a reality.'

'...!' He chuckled at the shocked looks he received from most of them.

'You said it better than I ever could Hyrule. Someone with as beautiful of a soul as Her's is someone we could worship everyday of our lives without regret.'

'But we can't-'

'Why? Because we're Hylia's 'Champions'? I don't know if you remember this, but we've done our duties, defeated Ganon and the only reason I'll not complaining about THIS journey anymore is because it brought us Her.'

'Legend-'

'And don't we in a way worship her already?'

Wild tilted his head. 'What do you mean?'

He raised a finger, 'Don't we find joy in caring for her? Providing for her? Is that not paying tribute?' A second finger, 'Don't we defend her when danger is near? Cutting down every enemy that come near her? Is that not raising our swords in her name?'

He leaned forward, A manic glint flashing in his eyes. A third finger was raised. 'Do we not find joy when she whispers our name, do we not find peace when we whisper Hers? Is that not devotion? Tell me otherwise and I'll concede.'

But no one said anything.

No one wanted to.

Because they agreed with his words so much.

'She deserves someone to protect her...' Hyrule whispered, as if to himself, as if to convince himself to listen to the words being spoken to him.

'She deserves US to protect Her.' Legend corrected, his smile was all teeth, but it wasn't malicious.

'We've defeated literal evil. We're the best people to protect Her.' Wind added, his eyes matching the Veteran's. Soon matching the eyes of all of them.

'And doesn't She deserve the very best, after everything She's done for us?' Legend spread his arms out, smirk on his face. Sky smiled, looking at his hands, laughing softly, shaking his head.

'I...suppose you're right...' he slowly admitted, his shoulder releasing tension, almost relieved.

'I..can't see anyone else providing for her the way we can.'

'We have the resources...' Four slowly added, a note of mania woven through the blacksmith's words, 'We have much sway in our eras and what we don't have, I'm reasonably sure we know someone who can provide it for us.'

'We've faced more than enough adversaries to be able to counter any situation.' Warriors smirked, sitting back, arms crossed.

'The safest place is with us.' Time said, a sense of finality in his words.

And for the first time in so long, they all were united with such a decision.

It didn't matter if there wasn't a drop of divinity in her.

It didn't matter if she wasn't able to use magic or blessed by any spirit.

She was not a goddess in the way they knew. But only a fool would deny the beautiful divinity that radiated from Her heart.

She was Divine to them.

A presence that was not unlike an ocean of warmth that wanted to drown them in love and safety.  Eager to drive them mad, to drive them to protect Her happiness.

And they would drown in that ocean willingly.

She didn't even realize what she was doing to them.

She didn't realize that the very person She was was causing them to crave Her gentle touch, Her beautiful smiles, Her arms wrapped around them.

She didn't realize any of this.

Because it was as natural as breathing to Her.

How many times was Her kindness going to steal the breath from their lungs?

How many times was Her gentle voice going to soothe them when they wake from their nightmares, Her hands wiping the tears from their face?

How many times will they crave the chance to kiss away Her tears but only be able to brush them aside.

But it was alright.

They loved Her so much.

A Goddess of their own making.

One that they would worship freely, not like how obligation and duty forced their hand with Hylia.

Hylia demanded their loyalty.

(y/n) merely asked for their continued happiness.

Hylia commanded they fight in her name.

(y/n) requested they remained safe and healthy.

Hylia wanted heroes.

(y/n) wanted only them.

She wanted them.

She trusted them.

She cared for them.

She was the one they wanted to serve.

They fulfilled their duties to Hylia.

They no longer were obligated to serve her.

But (y/n)...She was so fragile compared to the rest of them. Having lived in a world with no monsters, no calamities or destiny.

She needed to be protected.

She needed them to protect Her.

They were the only ones who could protect Her.

They needed to unite. To stand side by side, as a shield against the monsters, against anyone that would dare take Her from them.

They couldn't fight amongst themselves anymore.

They couldn't allow Her to come to harm ever again.

All this time wasted fighting when they could have been protecting Her. Making her happy. Keeping her safe. How foolish of them.

But no longer.

To protect their Reason for breathing, there could be no room for trickery or lies between each other. Only for those that stood between them and Her.

The sun was rising, washing away the rivalries and dissonance of the past night, and the rays of dawn shining upon renewed unity and brotherhood.

She is their's; a Gift that pure chance had bestowed upon them.'

They would protect Her. Together.

They would protect their Goddess.

No one will ever take Her away from them.

No One.

[sayruq]

hey! since you've been getting some dumb anons recently, i just wanted to say how much i love your no nonsense approach to them, and your thoughts in general. also, something i've noticed with sansa fans is a love and interest in other characters and areas of the story too, e.g. elia and dorne, aegon, bran and magic, the downfall of littlefinger, the stark sisters, etc... i just really enjoy how yes, we love sansa, but there's so much more to talk about and be enthused by as well. these other stans for certain other ships/characters seem all consumed by them... like a bit worryingly so! it's just funny to me that we get accused of thinking everything is about sansa, yadda yadda, when i see more creativity, nuance, and empathy concerning the narrative as a whole from this side of the fandom than i do any other tbh. does any of that make any sense? :)

omg thank you! and you're right

[ginanosakka]

The Scars You Hide

Masterlist

We Meet Again | Next

Summary: After your meeting with Bakugou, you get an unexpected call to meet with someone else from your past. Is it possible to mend a relationship you weren’t sure was even there?

“Hey Mina, does Bakugou ever talk about me?” You asked, skimming through the clothing rack next to her with that wide smile you always seemed to have.

Her hands were filled with clothing items, and at your question she seemed to almost drop them. Her pink skin seemed to pale slightly as you watched a small sweat begin to breakout on your face, and in your heart you knew the truth. You couldn’t help but let your smile drop ever so slightly, but you gave a light laugh to calm her down and bring the mood back up.

“It’s okay, I know he probably doesn’t talk about me. . It was just worth a shot to ask.” You giggle falsely, feeling not a trace of humor in the feeling you got in the pit of your stomach. “Let’s go pay, my treat!” You repeated the words you said every time you went out with any one of your friends, the return for spending some time with you.

It was weird with Mina though, whenever you offered to pay it looked like she was conflicted. Her yellow eyes would soften like you spilled some said truth, but you never questioned it. That look scared you with the fear that she might be tired of you, so you’d ignore it for as long as you could. . .

“Ryu, how many times do I have to tell you not to use your quirk in the house!” You yelled to what seemed like thin air as your son clapped once again with another crayon in his hand.

When his little hands met, a small explosion went off that burned the crayon to ash and he sheepishly looked up at you from his spot next to the coffee table. Ryu was so much like his father that it bewildered you, he managed to be a carbon copy of someone he never even met. Not only did he steal most of Katsuki’s physical genetics, he acted nearly identical and had a variation of his quirk. You wondered if being quirkless was the reason all your genes seemed to fail to make the cut, but how could you be mad at that when you loved everything about the blonde little boy?

It would have been nice if he had a little less of Katsuki’s temper, though.

“Honestly, it’s like you want to see me go gray early,” you huffed and continued on your way to the laundry room with your basket full of clothes.

Seven years ago, doing laundry would have been a funny joke to you. There were maids that were perfectly capable and paid to do it for you, so there was virtually no point in learning. The only time you lifted a finger was for makeup and eating, that’s how your father preferred you to live. It was a big contrast to now, where you stood in leggings and an oversized band t-shirt doing every bit of the cleaning and laundry, for not only yourself, but also the six year old son that was never in the plans for your future. In fact, no part of the life you created for yourself was apart of the original plan.

Your phone rang as you finished putting in your first load into the washer, and you answered it without looking, propping the phone between your shoulder and your ear as you put on the proper settings. The unfamiliar voice you heard nearly made you jump since only a handful of people had your number.

“Hey,” the woman said with uncertainty clear in her tone.

“Hello. Who is this?” You asked straight to the point, still continuing your chores as you went from the laundry room to the living room where Ryu was now coloring peacefully and began picking up his mid placed toys.

“Oh it’s Mina. . Sorry for calling you out of the blue, but I was just wondering if you’d like to talk?”

You froze in place, immediately going into mental hyperdrive over all the things she could want to talk about, but none of them seemed reasonable. Neither of you had any contact after Katsuki told you the truth about everyone, you completely went off the grid and she went on with her life like everyone. It would make sense to come up with a bullshit excuse to get out of it. . . but then again it would be much easier to clean with someone entertaining Ryu.

“I’ll send you my address, we can talk here.”

“So. . he really is Bakugou’s kid.” Mina sweat dropped as you both watched him stand on top of the couch with two hero action figures in hand, one of them being Bakugou, yelling nonsense about how he can’t be beaten.

“HAHA! Not even Dynamight and Ignenium can stop this villain, but I will be victorious!”

‘Honestly, that whole strive for victory mindset could be Katsuki or my dad’s genetics.’

“Carbon copy with some tweaks,” you shrugged and continued on your way to your bedroom with your basket full of laundry.

Mina followed you through your small — but well decorated due to your mother — home looking as troubled as she was hesitant as she always did around you. It still bothered you like when you were just a dumb rich girl, and you were must less keen on ignoring it to keep the peace. You were strangers now, after all, not friends due to business.

“So,” you started as you dropped the basket on the ground in front of your queen with a loud ‘plop’. “I know you didn’t come here to just get a peek at the bastard child of your friend, and you certainly aren’t here to rekindle our fake friendship, Ashido. . Spill it.”

You stared at her with accusation, stance showing that this easily could shift from a friendly encounter to a hostile environment depending on her next choice of words. Mina was a hero now, she most definitely could tell that this wasn’t the time to play pretend and get straight to the point like she would in the face of a real villain. She may be more of a commercial hero, enjoying the occasional spotlight and taking down many villains for a camera, but you remember that she looked death in the face the moment she got on the hero track.

The atmosphere in the room became tense as Mina was taken back by your commanding attitude, one that showed that what she suspected about you was true; this wasn’t the same Y/N she met as a kid. Your eyes were colder, uninviting and daring her to take a step too close into your world. Your posture even deterred her from thinking she was anything more than a stranger you invited into your home. Everything about the way you acted was a clear indication that the worst case scenario she had thought of after you contacted her had most likely come to fruition.

“What. . happened to you, Y/N?” Mina asked hesitantly, and you blinked at the question with your arms unconsciously reaching for your right side, something that didn’t go unnoticed by Mina.

After a moment of silence you explained, “I had him. My father didn’t like that. . and he told me not to go through with it, that it would be a shameful mistake. When I refused, he kicked me out onto the streets saying I wasn’t his daughter. I had nothing and no one, my pregnancy was high risk, and I had just been told that everything I knew wasn’t real, but we made it just fine.”

The answer was so vague beyond being disowned that it didn’t take a genius to figure out what happened between being on the street and now wasn't something you’d be willing to tell just anybody. Especially not the girl who was only her friend in hopes of getting an up on life in her future. The fact that you told her that much was a privilege she should never expect to receive again. Mina could only frown and think of how lost and heartbroken you must have been, all because she couldn’t bring herself to stand without the herd and tell you the truth. You probably didn’t trust anyone now, and the fact that Katsuki probably thought you were living an easy life on your father’s money didn’t sit right with her when you did everything for yourself now, and obviously lived a modest life with his son.

This was her chance to redeem herself for her first failure as a hero, and she wouldn’t make the same mistake twice.

Mina looked you dead in the eyes with determination that you’d never seen before and said, “I want to help you take care of Ryu.”

Your brows furrowed at her declaration, “I don’t need help-“

“You do, and I’m going to be here for you. I don’t care if you hate me now, but I’m going to make it up to you for being selfish.” Mina pressed, her bouncy pink hair jumping as she bounded closer to you with a grin that used to always make a smile come on your own face. Her smile widened and her eyes closed as she made her words sink in with you. “I want to get to know the real you, Y/N, and I’m not going to miss the opportunity of seeing how you managed to keep a little Bakugou alive.”

You didn’t know what to say, no words were good enough to express every emotion she made you feel after six years of doing everything on your own. There probably weren't any words that could sum up the feeling of someone wanting to see who you really were after being someone else your whole life. You werent fully convinced — you couldn’t be, this not only affected you, but your son too — but there was a simple statement that would let her know that this meant something.

“Thank you.”

A/N: I hope you like this Mina x reader moment! I know there wasn’t much Bakugou and Ryu action, but more to come soon. Also, Ryu’s quirk is explosions that are activated by contact with his hands, meaning that he has to touch something to let out an explosion unlike Katsuki who can just let them rip at any time!

Taglist <3 : @fandomgirllover @cloudsgathering @that-bipolar-renegade-romantic @jazzylove @that-chick212 @bonbonthedragon @hawksnugget @misssugarless @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @bakugous-bakahoe @pinkykookie17 @byakuyaswifee @animexholic @arielting @samkysnks @simpforeveryone @saucey-kneecapzz42020 @liznoonz427 @damnirina @fireworkemoji102 @deneuves @tsumuuumiyaaaa

[kilgarraghforever]

So The Son Of Bigfoot is this film from 2017 and it's completely nutty.

The opening scene is this science man getting chased through a forest by a load of helicopters, men with dogs and a pointy-faced dude with very blonde hair. The lot of them have stupid hairstyles. Science Man climbs a cliff, is cornered by the helicopters and then jumps off a waterfall. End scene, cut to title, then the main stuff starts. (I think I'm going to explain the entire film, so anyone who wants to watch it (and I heartily recommend you do so) leave now.)

The main plot is about this kid who gets bullied by three morons with stupid haircuts. Here they are:

(Sunglasses has this silly little goatee thing at the back of his head)

The three morons stick a load of gum in his hair, so his mum has to chop it all off. Next day, it's all grown back, and kid freaks and tries to chop it off himself - which goes badly. He finds his dead dad's old hat in a draw to hide it, goes to school and basically has a weird thing where his hearing suddenly increases and so does his shoe size. The kid's feat literally bust out of his shoes. Kid ends up in the PE hall to escape the noise and surprise! the three bullies turn up, he accidently punches one in the face and so they beat him up, steal his backpack and throw it in a basketball hoop. The lot of them get called to the headmaster's office to be punished (suspension), in which the kid - Adam - meets some blonde girl who flirts with him, gets his bag back and is told to remove the hat, revealing that his hair has grown back completely. Before he has time to contemplate this, the bullies turn up again, chase him home and throw a rock through his window. Rock hits a vent, breaks it and hits something metal, so Adam sticks his arm down and finds a tin full of letters from his dead dad and an address carved on bark. He reads the letters and his mum gets home, he accuses her of keeping his dad's living-ness a secret. Yelling ensues, Adam runs away, y'know - the usual.

Meanwhile, this massive hair company (Hair Co) are trying to make some serum to make hair grow. It's run by the pale dude from before, who never gets named, so I'll refer to him as Asshole. Asshole is showing these three dudes around and nattering, and then they get to this science lab. A short old science man shoots an intern in the ass with a dart thing that causes him to grow an afro. The afro then promptly bursts into flames.

We return to Adam, next to a highway trying to hitchhike in the pouring rain. Truck driver stops and Adam guilts him into taking him to the address on that bit of bark. Turns out it's literally just a post box in a woods next to the road. Adam gets out, truck drives off leaving Adam alone and so he ventures into the unknown. He wanders around for a bit looking for a house or something, yelling "Hello?" into the void. He climbs a small cliff, yells again and hears something behind him. Sees some bushes moving, so he throws a rock at them. The bushes go "ow" so he runs off and right into a bear trap. He falls, skidding the rest of the way down to the road. During said skid, his backpack falls off. This is important. Adam gets knocked out by the impact and is left sprawled in the middle of the road. Some trucker - I'm going to call him Carl - is driving down it, reading a magazine and singing something. He sees Adam at the last minute, slamming on the breaks. He's clearly going to hit Adam, but before he can, this blurry humanoid figure runs out into the road, scoops up Adam and runs off again. Carl is very confused, so plays it back on his dashboard camera. He goes "Well, I'll be" and reaches for his phone. It has no service. Carl ends up at a diner with a phone box, calls 911 and reports that he saw Bigfoot. 911 hangs up on him. Carl then proceeds to call the magazine he was reading and gets told that his sighting will get published.

Back at Hair Co, Asshole sees the report and smirks at the short science man, whom I'll be calling Billingsley, as that is his name. Billingsley wants to go after Bigfoot but Asshole says that they gave up the search ten years ago, leading to the question: 'What the fuck, Hair Co?' They eventually decide to go after Bigfoot again after seeing Adam in the photo.

Carl, back at the diner, is talking to the serving lady who I've named Sugar. They talk about the Bigfoot sighting, and then a load of black cars and a freaking helicopter turn up. Sugar shouts for someone to raise the prices.

Turns out all the men in black people are Hair Co looking for Bigfoot - and Asshole is with them. Carl explains about where he saw Bigfoot and an agent finds Adam's backpack (I said it was important) and his address in it. Asshole smirks again.

Two of the Agents of Hair turn up at Adam's address, break in and find the letters. Meanwhile, Shelly - the mum - is driving to the address on the bark in search of Adam.

This is where it gets a little nuts. Adam wakes up in some tree next with Bigfoot - inexplicably in a pair of jeans that look far too small for him because of all the fur - is standing over him. Adam understandably freaks out and tries to leave, only to nearly die from falling. Bigfoot grabs him before he does and explains that he is Adam's dad. His not dead, very much alive, rather furry and never named dad. (For that reason I'm going to keep calling him Bigfoot.) Adam calls bullshit and threatens him with a twig, then sees that the middle of the treehouse is decorated in photos of him and his mum. This somehow proves to Adam that Bigfoot is his dad, and I'm sure you guessed from the title. He then freaks out again, calling his dad a monster and Bigfoot makes the most funny offended face in animated history.

He then accuses Bigfoot of running away, to which Bigfoot responds with "Woah." He then explains that someone *cough* Hair Co *cough* *cough* were hunting him and he had to leave to keep Adam and Shelly safe. Adam then asks him what he meant by 'lab rat', making Bigfoot change the subject to Shelly and whether she knows Adam is here. Adam lies, his dad catches it, and they argue for a bit before Bigfoot says "Your mum must be worried sick."

Cut to Shelly driving up to a blockade set up by the Agents of Hair. They say they're looking for her, and she tries to escape but the Agents of Hair stop her.

Back at the treehouse, apparently Bigfoot and Adam have stopped arguing and Bigfoot is going on about being sorry he missed Adam's childhood and how Shelly sent everything to him. Adam then asks if he's going to have Bigfoot stuff happen to him - mostly refuring to the fur (I'm not sorry for the pun) - and Bigfoot says no. He then explains that he's already thirteen and hasn't shown any signs of being a bigfoot. Adam says "Yes I have. My feet went weird and so did my hearing." They eventually work out that Adam got all of the cool stuff about being a bigfoot and none of the fur. Cool stuff? I hear you and Adam ask. Turns out bigfoots (bigfeet?) have healing powers (which is how Adam is walking on a leg that got caught in a beartrap), run really fast, hear super well (like things around a mile away) and can talk to animals. They then zipline down to the ground, do some weird surfing thing and fall over. During the next 20 minutes, we meet two racoons, a squirrel and a woodpecker. Oh, yeah, and a giant bear. There's some nonsense with two idiotic hunters, baseball, some geysers and then they end up back at the treehouse. This sickeningly sweet bonding shit is interrupted by the raccoons who report that the Agents of Hair are scouring the forest looking for Bigfoot. Bigfoot blames Adam, which is fair but also really not, who then decides to give himself up to Asshole and the Agents of Hair. They take him to his mum and he tricks them into climbing into a geyser. This pisses of Asshole who, in a plot to lure out Bigfoot, traps Adam in a car and sends him into a forest fire the Agents of Hair started. When Bigfoot shows up to try and save Adam, he gets Adam out of the car but is shot by Asshole with a stun dart. The massive bear whose name is Wilbur saves Adam but a burning branch gets in the way of him going back for Bigfoot, who is captured by Asshole. Adam then blacks out from smoke inhalation. When he comes to, Wilbur and the other animals decide to leave, but Adam convinces them to help him save Bigfoot in a Mission Impossible style heist.

Back at Hair Co, Billingsley has almost perfected a hair formula and shoots the intern again, causing all his hair to grow prolifically. Asshole is pleased by this.

While that's happening, Adam and the rest break into Hair Co's nearest facility, and during the commotion, all of them but Adam get captured. Adam makes it to his dad, who then refuses to leave in a plot twist everyone saw coming, aside from Adam who is confused. Asshole has apparently promised to care for Shelly and Adam and not kill them in exchange for Bigfoot allowing them to run experiments on him. Adam, who is not crazy and doesn't trust Asshole, tries to convince Bigfoot to leave but then Asshole himself turns up and takes Adam out of the lab. Asshole talks about how Adam is going to like being rich while Adam spots a fire alarm, breaks it and causes the only door in to seal itself with him on the inside. This greatly pisses off Asshole, who yells for security to open the door and that the fire is a false alarm. Security guy, who Adam and co knocked out earlier, comes to, hears fire and sounds the evacuation alarm. Asshole gets taken to the bridge, leaving only Adam inside.

Adam then steals an access card from a guard he knocked out, releases all the animals, including the ones used by Hair Co to test stuff on (who all leave the compound and follow the evacuating Agents of Hair), and cause chaos. During said chaos Adam gets a flare gun. He goes back to Bigfoot and this time succeeds in convincing him to leave, threatening to tell Asshole that he's a Bigfoot too. This sentiment is quite sweet as he says that "If you don't leave, then I'm staying. It's the two of us here or the two of us out there, but I'm not loosing you again." They leave and Bigfoot decides to go into a large production area and break all of the gas pipes, deciding that Hair Co is going to be put out of business, permanently. They break many gas lines, leading to the door to be sealed so no gas escapes. They escape through a vent and come out at the top of Hair Co, and zipline down to the bridge using the cables holding it up.

Asshole is there waiting for them. He has found out that Adam is also a bigfoot and shoots Bigfoot several times with stun darts then kicks him off the bridge. Adam, with the most 'fuck you' look, shoots the flare gun's flare into Hair Co, igniting the gas and exploding the building and making the bridge collapse.

Adam then runs to the end of the bridge and climbs down to try and find his dad. Asshole also falls off the bridge because of his own stupidity and the Agents of Hair being incompetent.

In the gorge below, Adam finds his dad badly injured and dying. He cries at first, hugging his dad and his hands glow with blue swirls of light that disappear as soon as he takes his hand away from Bigfoot's arm. He then remembers the healing powers his dad told him about, and uses them on his dad. The blue magic makes Bigfoot's body rise into the air as the healing powers try to heal him, then gently place him back on the ground after Adam is done.

Bigfoot doesn't move.

"No!" Adam cries out, sobbing again. Then Bigfoot moves and wakes up, they hug, the animals show up and it's all very sweet, blah blah blah.

And then along comes Asshole, looking rather deranged and pointing a stun gun at them. He starts monologuing about how "it did not have to end this way" and then is shot in the ass by Shelly. Bigfoot, Shelly and Adam decide on "no more hiding". Meanwhile, the male raccoon discovers that Asshole has been wearing a toupee the entire time.

It turns out that Billingsley and the intern survived.

A few weeks/months later (it's actually only about a week later) Bigfoot and the animals are living happily with Shelly and Adam, who is returning to school after his suspension.

On the way, the bullies return and try to beat up Adam, only to be scared by Wilbur the massive bear. They end up with broken bikes (curtesy of the raccoons) and bruises. The blonde girl from the office shows up at the end of the confrontation and asks to walk to school with Adam. She also asks what happened to his shoes, as his feet bust out when the bullies show up. He jokes that he should switch to sandals, and the film ends on them walking away with his shoes hanging from a telephone pole.

It's a wild ride and I'd honestly recommend it to anyone with an hour and a half to spare. Despite what it looks like, I didn't get in everything and the whole film is a lot funnier that I said here.

This film got an 8/10.

[bunnys-beetlejuice-blog]

gently rings a little bell in your ear My fic updated with two new chapters when you weren't paying attention! but now i am tilting your chin up with the point of my sword, forcing you to look. its very villainous and cool. this is part three of an increasingly convoluted story, part one can be found all the way over here but if you just want the high school romance stuff and don't care about found family, that's fine, i guess, but like, what's your deal

The weekend is a welcome relief from everything at school. He’s tired of feeling like shit, so Saturday, annoyingly bright and early, he startles Lydia awake by flopping on her bed. It causes her to bounce, and she groans, pulling the dark purple blanket further over her head. “Beetlejuice…” “I was thinkin’, today we should spend th’ whole day outdoors, in th’ park or somethin’,” he grins, and she lifts the blanket just barely, to glare at him. “You only want to play outside because all your stuff was taken away,” comes her accusation, and she’s not exactly wrong, but he just wiggles a hand under her blanket and gives her nose a poke. “Let’s go get lost, somewhere. Come on, Lyds, please?” She tries to hit him with a pillow but her grip is tired from sleep, and all she manages to do is shove the thing at him.

Twenty minutes later, she’s dressed and ready, bouncing on the balls of her feet, as he mulls over which button up to wear, the highlighter yellow with purple bugs, or the dark green with orange bones. They’re two equally ugly shirts that kind of give him a headache to look at, and both are favorites. “I can’t believe you woke me up at eight so I could stand around watching you go through your wardrobe.” “This is important.” He settles on the bugs, finally, and pulls it on before turning to Lydia, but she’s gone. He blinks, and sticks his head out his door, in time to headbutt her as she comes back in. Both siblings reel back and hold their heads. “Beetlejuice…” she groans. “Lyd-eee-uhhh,” he mimics her. She huffs and throws what she’d gone to her room to retrieve at him. He catches it, then stares. It’s his hoodie, his ruined one from that disastrous Halloween. He can still see that faded dark copper stain in some places, but it's better than it was. Also, the holes slashed in the arms have been very sloppily stitched with a thick, black embroidery thread. He looks back at his sister. “You seemed like you were having a hard week,” Lydia says, shuffling her feet. “I never sewed anything before, I’m sorry it looks kind of messy, and I tried really hard to get the bloodstains out...” He slips his familiar stripes back on and feels much more at ease. “It’s cool,” he tells her. “I like messy.” He holds open his arms and she falls into them, pressing her face against his stomach. It's a nice moment, and for once, he doesn’t feel inclined to ruin it, just pats his little sister’s head. “Love you.” “Love you too.”

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````` Charles, ever an early riser, is surprised to see his children in the kitchen this bright eyed and bushy tailed on a Saturday. He’s pouring two coffees, one for himself and one for Emily, who is sitting at the table, head propped up on her hand, and still functionally asleep, when Betelgeuse and Lydia come bounding in to raid the fridge. “And what are you two getting up to today?” he asks, and the siblings pause to look at him. “Goin’ to th’ park.” “You think so?” Betelgeuse’s shoulder slump. “Seriously? You take all my stuff away an’ now I can’t even go out?” “You’re still in trouble. Why should you be allowed to go out and have fun?” “Cause that wasn’t specified!” Betelgeuse tries, and then turns to Emily. “Ma, tell him!” Emily mutters in her sleep, and Charles wordlessly sets the coffee down in front of her. The smell hits her nose, and robotically, she lifts the drink to her lips, eyes never opening. “Let BJ go do stuff,” she manages, maybe not as eloquent as she normally speaks, her voice gruff from sleep. Betelgeuse grins up at Charles. His father sips his own coffee, and then pats his son’s head. “Home before dark. No fire, no demon nonsense, no taking drugs from strangers.” “Home at midnight, commit arson, summon Satan, enjoy stranger candy. I gotcha.” Both his children receive a kiss on the head before stuffing Lydia’s little black coffin bag with snacks, and heading out.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````

It’s a big city, and there’s not a loss of things to do, especially with his powers, and there’s no adult supervision today. They find a café and enjoy a big breakfast, then he turns them invisible and they sneak away before the check comes, only reappearing a block later, Lydia grinning wildly. “Food tastes better stolen!” she says, and he pats her head. “There’s my little criminal.” They sneak into a movie, next, some horror thing Lydia had wanted to see that even Emily, the fun parent, had said she was too little for. It’s absolutely a gore fest, but not especially good, and they throw popcorn at the screen and cheer whenever the killer scores another victim.

“I think you’d die early in a slasher,” she says after, scattering their uneaten popcorn on the pavement in front of the theatre. She gets the attention of a whole flock of pigeons, which land and begin pecking at the kernels. “What’s your logic, there?” “You die on screen early and then the twist is you faked your death and were the killer.” “Ohh, classic. I love it.” “I’m a total final girl,” Lydia turns the half empty bucket upside down, much to the joy of the starving sky rats. “And then at the end, it’s like, I knew you were the killer the whole time, and I was just acting. Cause we’re in it together. You know, partners in crime.” He picks her up, slings her over his shoulder. “Always.”

He takes them to Central Park, next, holding her hand behind the theatre and apparating, accidentally, up a tree. She gasps and clings to him, and he digs his claws into the bark of the tree to steady them. “No worries, no worries. I just gotta..” They appear on the ground below, and Lydia looks dizzy. “Feels weird when you do that,” she tells him. “Like riding a rollercoaster, except your limbs are all asleep. But.. Kinda not that, at the same time.” It feels normal to him, but he regularly eats tin cans, so what does he know about normal to begin with?

Lydia takes her camera from her coffin bag, and readies it. It’s a little instamatic she got for her birthday, a few months ago, and she’s going through film like crazy, taking some pretty shitty pictures. He’s not that blunt to her face, though. It’s not like he was a rockstar on the ukulele when he first started, and she’s got a lot of enthusiasm for taking photos. He’s not going to be the one to squash that for her.

Also, he’ll bite off the hand of whoever tries.

“You think this can take pictures underwater?” she asks, aiming her camera at a random woman jogging by. The jogger makes a face, which seems to be what Lydia expects, because she snaps the picture as the woman continues on her way, and the little photo pops out the bottom. Lydia gives it an aggressive shake.

“I’m gonna guess no. Besides, it’s too cold for you to take a swim.” “So let’s go somewhere warmer. I’m thinking Hawaii.” “Good idea, genius, an’ how do you think we’re getting there?” “You can teleport us.”

He actually has to stop and think about that. “I don’t think I could do it in one straight shot,” he says at last. Lydia has moved to a different kind of voyeurism, because she’s on her stomach on the grass, following the movement of a trail of ants with her lens. “I’d probably have to do little distances, an’ get tired and need a nap in th’ middle.”

“Maybe through a mirror? Like Sam?” She adjusts the optic, an entirely useless motion, because this camera doesn’t have any kind of zoom feature. But she’s seen people do it in nature documentaries. “Never done mirror travel before.” He mulls that over. “I’ll practice when I get home, an’ see if I can even pull you through.” “You’re not allowed to go to Hawaii without me,” she gets what she considers her perfect shot, and then stands, brushing off her dark red dress. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

They go bone hunting next, Lydia’s camera still at the ready, his keen nose leading the way. It’s easy to find owl pellets, and she breaks one open with her bare hands, as he teases her.

“Ew ew ew, Lydia gross, you’re touching it!” he pitches up his gruff voice to sound like a tweenage girl, and she rolls her eyes. “No skull in this one,” she frowns, wiping her hands on his hoodie.

“Maybe there’s a bodiless mouse head around here, livin’ it’s best life.” She looks doubtful.

Another, different smell hits his sensitive nose, just then. It’s death, new and fresh. His pupils dilate, and he follows it, her trailing after him, assuming he’s on the scent of more animal bones. What they find instead is an old man propped against a tree. He’s still warm, but the color is draining from his face, and rapidly. He doesn’t look hurt, he’s not bleeding. It’s like he sat down for a rest and died.

Lydia doesn’t get it, not right away. Death is a funny punchline in an overly gorey movie. She’s never seen the real thing, before. “Should we wake him up? It’s cold to be sleeping here.” He lifts the man’s arm, and it flops bonelessly back down. Her eyes go wide. “I doubt he’s gettin’ back up, kiddo.” She lifts her camera and takes a picture.

“Hello?” He hears a voice, and turns. The old man is standing next to himself. He looks back at Lydia, but she’s staring in fascination at the corpse, so he leaves her to it. “Hey,” he nods to the man, who looks relieved. “Can you call my grandson? My phone battery died,” he says, not seeming to understand the position he’s in. Betelgeuse tilts his head to the side. “You’re dead,” he says, a bit unkindly, and Lydia, who has been kneeling by the body, poking it, looks up at him. “I am?” “Wh- No, not you, Lyds, th’ stiff.” He gestures to the ghost, who has seemed to notice “himself” laying there. Lydia looks at her brother, confused. “There’s no one there.” “Sure there is. You just can’t see ghosts.”

“That’s me,” the old man says, not that anyone’s listening to him. “Should we tell someone about this?” Lydia asks him, and Betelgeuse shrugs. “Why? Someone will find th’ body eventually. You know. When it starts smellin’ like shit.” “I don’t want to leave him out here.” “Please, don’t leave me out here!” “I wouldn’t want to be left out here.” “Lucky for you, you’re never gonna die. You even try it an’ I’ll shove your soul back down your throat, if I have to.”

He smells the netherworld, and grabs Lydia, pulling her back, in time for another ghost to appear. A guide. The guide doesn’t even take a moment to look around, just instantly busies herself with getting the newly dead situated, and Betelgeuse picks Lydia up and carries her away. “That’s so sad,” she says, taking one last picture of the body from atop his shoulder. “I guess.”

They find the next official looking person they see, someone cleaning up trash, who doesn’t believe them, clearly, until he sees one of the photos Lydia took. The deathly pallor of the old man convinces him to go looking. Thirty minutes later, that part of the park is crawling with breathers, and the two of them are stuck on a bench, being talked to by cops. It’s a whole, boring process, and it’s drawing a big crowd. “Told ya, we shoulda minded our business,” Betelgeuse nudges his sister. Lydia is looking overwhelmed. Neither sibling ever gets this much attention. There’s even a news crew, though he can’t imagine what for. It’s just one old dead guy, and it’s not even a murder. Someone with a microphone tries to approach them, and he turns their mic into a black and white striped snake, forcing them to fling it away from themselves in a panic, and then he grabs Lydia.

They blink from existence and appear a ways away, and Lydia’s clutching his hand harder than she needs to. “Hey, come on.” His grating voice is soft, for her, as he kneels to her level, and she throws her arms around his neck. “How are you so calm? Doesn’t it make you sad?” she asks, softly, and he gives her an extra squeeze. “Happens to all breathers, Lyds. But it’s not somethin’ I gotta worry about, ever. So… no, not really.”

“Will you be sad when I die?”

He scoops her up, holding his little sister in his arms, and stands, her still clinging around his neck. “When you die at a hundred and twenty,” he tells her, carrying her along the path. “Wherever in the netherworld you end up, I’ll go too. Won’t even have time to be sad, me an’ you’ll be too busy causin’ trouble, even then.” She seems satisfied with that answer, and he doesn’t mind carrying her, so they enjoy the autumn leaves like that, her in his arms, as he follows the winding pathways of the park.

They don’t tell Charles and Emily, when they finally do get home, the sun just barely still peaking over the horizon. It doesn’t seem like a good idea, and Lydia doesn’t especially want to talk about it anymore. She pins her new photos up on the twine strung between the tall bedposts in her room. There’s a couple nice ones, and she lets him eat the ones she decides she hates. “Does it count as part of being grounded if you watch my tv?” she asks, and he grins. “Let’s find out.” She pops in Coraline, which he has to assume she’s got fucking memorized at this point, but they also talk through most of it. By the time the tasty looking bug furniture is on screen, her eyelids are drooping. “I dunno why they make her eatin’ bugs so evil. I wanna try beetles from Zanzibar,” he complains, and she just snorts in response “I’ll get you some fancy beetles, for your birthday.” “Kay. Sounds good.” She falls asleep on him a minute later, and he waives a hand, snuffing the lights, but lets the movie finish playing as he settles next to her, and sleeps.

``````````````````````````````````````````````````````` That next week is boring, but normal. Adam’s in the library every day, despite his earlier insistence that he had better things to do. Betelgeuse honestly just wheels the cart along and lets Adam shelf the books, now, which the nerd seems to unironically enjoy. He’s all smiles as he gets to put things away neatly. It’s embarrassing how endearing and cute Betelgeuse finds that. It’s Tuesday, Barbara isn’t there that day, at least, not right at that moment, so Adam is babbling about her. “Barbara and I aren’t really performers,” he’s telling Betelgeuse, returning a stack of history books to their proper places on the shelves. “But we thought it would be fun to try theatre together, and then we really enjoyed it, so we’ve been in the last two productions. She can really sing, she does this high note, and it’s-” “Angelic, I bet.” Both boys give a stupid, love sick sigh. Adam pauses, and nods, and then studies the other teen. “So.. You.. You like her?” “Yeah,” he says easily. “But that doesn’t mean anythin’.” “What do you mean?” “I mean,” he clarifies, flopping across the cart, stomach first, and laying on it, staring down at Adam, who is crouching to reshelf some more books. “That despite me being a hot piece of ass, I’m probably not her type. I imagine she goes more for…” he studies Adam, trying to think of a nice word for boring, plain and vanilla. “More stable guys,” he lands on. “Like you. I bet she even likes how cute your butt looks in your khakis. I know I do.” Adam flushes. “You think so?” “It’s a good butt.” He nods, and Adam goes redder. “I meant, you think Barbara.. Might like me?” “Well, don’t push your luck, or nothin’, but you probably got a better chance with her.”

“You’re not entirely unlikable,” Adam offers. Betelgeuse lets out a guffaw that’s too loud, because someone in the next aisle over shushes him. “You already forget what I told you Friday?” he rests his head on his hand, tone condescending. “I know no one wants me around.”

“You’re setting yourself up for failure, with that attitude.”

“You think so, huh? Think I just need to hold hands round th’ campfire and sing kumbaya with all you breathers? I don’t think anyone would even take my hand. Probably couldn't get away from me fast enough.” There’s a pause. He doesn’t realize what he’s said until Adam is repeating it. “Breathers?”

He doesn’t get a chance to reply, because he feels a push on the cart, and turns to see Barbara, hands on the handle. “You’ve completely given up even trying, haven’t you?” she says, and he thinks she means about the books, and smiles. “No point. Adam’ll just do it for me.” “I mean with talking to people. With making friends.” His smile falls quickly into a scowl, and he runs a hand through his wild mess of green hair. “Lay off me, Babs. I’m bein’ friendly right now, aren’t I?”

“Sure, it’s plenty friendly, letting Adam do your work. But you don’t try, and then you get your feelings hurt when no one does it for you.” That’s not laying off, and it’s irritating him. “You can’t imagine anyone being nice to you, so you’re rude and push everyone away the first chance you get, in case what? In case you make a friend? Kevin probably needs you, right now,” she presses, physically too, making the cart he’s still lying across lurch forward. “I told you what happened to his dad, and you just said he wasn’t even your friend, when everyone knows you spent the last few months holding hands and making googoo eyes at him, and only talking to each other.”

“S’none of your business,” he tugs at his hair, pulling a tuft down to watch the color. Still green. He’s okay, but he keeps it there, in front of his eyes, focusing on it and not having to look at Barbara. “I’m making it my business. What are you so afraid of? What’s with the barrier? I saw you with your sister, you’re normal and nice, to her. So it’s other people you’re afraid of?” “M’not,” he growls out, standing up off the cart. “Afraid of anythin’.”

“You are,” she says, letting go of the cart and stomping to stand in front of him. She’s got him cornered, his back pressed to the bookshelf behind him. He keeps his eyes on that green tuft, biting his bottom lip. “You’re afraid of rejection, so you don’t talk, or you’re a jerk to people. You’re so afraid of other people, you make yourself sit alone every day, even when there’s an empty seat next to someone else.”

“No one wants me around!”

God, that hurts. He can see purple forming in the tip of his hair.

“You think I haven’t tried?” he rasps at her, letting his hair go, and finally looking directly at her. “You think I like sittin’ alone, bein’ the weird kid in every class, not havin’ anyone to talk to? It sucks!” he hears himself being shushed again, and he expends a burst of power in that direction, knocking books off the shelves to hit the person who can’t mind their own business. The sudden noise makes both Adam and Barbara jump. “You ever noticed that anytime I’ve tried, people can’t get th’ hell away from me fast enough? I’m tired of bein’ alone, but every time I try, somethin’ goes to shit, or I'm ignored! So maybe it is easier to just be a jerk an’ not worry about gettin’ hurt, than to keep tryin’ and ache all th’ time.”

It’s the most honest he’s ever been, out loud. Barbara clenches her fists, but doesn’t say anything. He sees Adam push his glasses back up the bridge of his nose.

Lunch isn’t even close to over, and he’s just made more work for himself by knocking those books off the shelf, but he doesn’t care. He grabs his backpack from the cart and pushes past the two of them, and he storms out, forcing the library door to slam, even though it’s a soft close door. It feels more final, that way.

He spends the rest of lunch invisible, to avoid any more trouble with adults, and slumps into his customary seat in the back of every class, for the rest of the day. No one talks to him. He doesn’t try to talk to anyone. It’s a system, it works. Stupid Barbara. What does she even know? Like she can somehow understand anything he’s going through. She’s pretty, and cool, and has a ton of friends, he thinks, absolutely bitter. She doesn’t get it.

He trudges to the drama room after school, and pushes open the door with his shoulder. The seats are in a circle, again, and he chooses a random one, pointedly, away from Adam and Barbara, between two other people. He sits there, silent, and after a moment, the two kids both move seats. How miserably predictable. Come on, he wills himself. No purple, no red. Just stay green. You can go home and freak the fuck out, but just stay green, he begs his hair.

He wipes his nose hard with his hoodie sleeve, and focuses on that, on the texture of the fabric and the way he rubs hard enough for it to hurt. Pain is as close to relief as he can get. Then the chairs next to him are scooted closer, and he blinks, and realizes that Adam and Barbara have settled on either side of him. He doesn’t.. Get it. He can’t understand, but then both of them reach a hand out, and take one of his, and give it a squeeze. It’s grounding. He takes a breath he doesn’t need, and then a couple more, shaky and painful, and he gives their hands a squeeze back, like he’s making sure they’re real. They are.

When the club starts, he tries, very sincerely, to focus on what’s being said, and not the bright hot feeling blooming like a flower in his chest. Read the rest here!!