#but it bothers him

[thetoaddaddy]

//bc I want to stir shit in the “he be livin” au// “You know I fucked her. I didn’t even care that she called out your name, because it was my cock she was cuming on.” - Sr

@riyu-uzumaki Jiraiya blinks. He’s half high from pain meds having only been a few days post one operation of many and just got settled at home. Maybe its the meds but a strange sense of clarity struck him rather than anger.

He’s underweight, scarred up, recovering, plagued with nightmares, looks like hell, terrified of running water in shower as well as bath form, and can’t barely talk. In summary he’s still a walking corpse. He hasn’t the strength to get out of bed other than a short lap around the house. Despite his insistence that he could get his own things he has a little bell to ring for his family to come running to help. Which they do. It’s rather cute. They all come clambering in to get him what he wants. Half the time the boys all nap with him. He’s solely dependent on others right now.

Despite all of this… Senior still is so insecure and petty he feels it’s necessary to hit a guy who is barely physically stable. Getting worked up will undo the work Jiraiya has done. Plus he’s on the verge of drooling from that good shit he was prescribed. His brain was running at a third of the speed. Still it could mush together to settle on annoyance.

He knows he is nothing but a burden now. Undesirable and carting around even more baggage. He’s a big old nothing. His family taking care of him out of love, pity and obligation. Maybe they’ll grow to hate him for what he is now. The old guy seems to take a sadistic pleasure in blurting this dirty little secret to a hollowed bed bound gutter gremlin. In short he doesn’t need to be reminded of what he is now. Which is.. replaceable. Maybe he already was replaced.

Who is Jiraiya to throw a fit right now? He can’t expect Riyu to be celibate when she thought he was dead. When he’s no longer blasted he’ll form better thoughts. Alas he knows… he doesn’t have much fight right now. If it’s true then the only thing keeping him alive is his children… He’ll have a sick pleasure in informing Senior’s wife of the infidelity too. Still it stings that Riyu would turn to the man he’s grown to hate the most. It felt like a dirty lie all the times she told him she was repulsed by Senior. Sluggish and heavy his hand feels around for his bell on the bedside table and he rings it.

He did clearly ask for no dickless cowards in his room tonight as the older boys were picked up. He lays back into his pile of pillows that kept him elevated somewhat up. When Riyu shows he simply points to the spineless narcissist standing at the foot of his bed and the door, signalling it was time to go. Even if they didn’t he was on the verge of seeing colours and ready ride the pain med high. He didn’t want images of what was just spewed at him to cloud the vibe.

[stealingpotatoes]

sure whatever i don't need to sleep

[isagaiia]

jayce is so greedy smh

[melodiark]

I’m extremely lucky and so grateful for everything I have but when I receive good news I always cry cus there’s always the “What if” looming over my shoulder

Not a unique problem but instead of being glad over new exciting opportunities I immediately think about all the things that could go wrong or happen if I do certain things and dread is what takes place instead of being excited or anything

Will call my mom tomorrow and discuss with both her & dad

I wish they’d give you more time ouuuurgh

Ummmm

& be so brave & talk to my brother

Will see him on Saturday for dinner I hope he’ll be in a good mood

I never know what to do

[pacipinka]

*taps mic* is this thing on? Yeah okay so every vampire in the vampire chronicles is turned at critical a moment in their lives and beyond just the body they are in when they are turned, their mentality stays at that standstill for their entire immortality, Lestat was turned against his will, he was clinging onto Magnus begging him to be freed, so he’s constantly seeking freedom and only finding loneliness and thus turning back to people again and again, however he can’t STAND being told what to do, since he desires agency in his life so desperately, Armand was turned after years and years of abuse and lack of control but such a desire for genuine love, by a man he ‘loved’ so wholly who he felt was barring his love from him, he needs control in his life, he needs a ‘master’ but he does not desire it, it does not fulfill him, he is trapped in a room but the door is unlocked! Louis was mourning his brother, he felt like an utter failure and so he’s always seeking family, seeking people he can care for, he can coddle, he can prove he is good too, but he loves people who either cannot stand coddeling and need a sense of looseness to live (Lestat) or people who grow out of coddling who prove to Louis he will always fail the people he loves (Claudia), Claudias turning, in many MANY ways mirrors lestats in that it was against her will, she was stolen from her home, and in her immortality she desires freedom but unlike Lestat does not have the agency/ form to get it, she will always be small, she will always be looked down on, even by Lestat who cannot deny how much she is just like him *taps mic* ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME!! NONE OF THEM CAN BREAK THE CYCLE!!! TO BREAK IT WOULD BE TO UNDO THE VERY FIBER OF THEIR IMMORTAL SELVES!! THE CYCLE IS THE BLOOD THEY DRINK IT IS THE HEART IN THEIR CHEST AND IT ROLLS AND ROLLS DOWN THE MOUNTAINS AND VALLEYS OF THEIR LOVE FOR EACH OTHER AND IT CAN NEVER BE STOPPED BECAUSE THEY WILL NEVER STOP LOVING EACH OTHER!!!!!!!!!!!!

[atlas-hope]

i believe the original image is from @sigmachad !

[corseque]

I realized that I could easily do the same to DAI's script, and I did that, but then I immediately created my magnum opus:

A Text File of Everything Solas Says In Inquisition and Veilguard, The Ultimate Fanfic Resource For Writing Solas' Voice*

and I fell on the floor because it made me happy.

*edited to correct a minor mishap

[kylejsugarman]

i adore the breaking bad scene where all the guys at don eladio's place drink the poisoned tequila and start dropping dead because we the audience understand that this is an act of revenge that gus has been planning for years to avenge the death of his business and romantic partner, but jesse was never told any of this so he just got brought to a baller pool party by his new scary boss, a hot girl sat on his cock, and then everyone started dying and shooting at each other while he just stood there like

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

sometimes katsuki gets really dramatic (but let’s be fr when isn’t he) and acts like you ghosted him when you don’t respond to his texts in thirty minutes. not in a creepy way, just in a dramatic, needy way.

he’s not worried or anything, he checks his phone every few minutes to see if any texts from you have come in. it’s a force of habit, because you usually respond pretty quickly but after a while it gets a little weird. and then he sends you a text and another one and unconsciously he starts spamming you a bit. again, not in a creepy way. just an annoying needy whiny dramatic baby, way.

“what’s up, bakubro ? you keep checking your phone.” katsuki doesn’t look at kirishima, eyes glued to his phone when he just grunts out an “‘m fine.”

and then kaminari just has to open his big mouth. his voice playful as he speaks “uh oh, trouble in paradiseee~?” katsuki scoffs, telling the blonde to fuck off.

and he isn’t worried..not at all. until he thinks about it and maybe there was trouble in paradise ?? were you maybe ignoring him ? what’d he do ?

you look up from your notebook at the sound of your phone vibrating. oh, it’s katsuki ! you smile just seeing his contact pop up.

“hi, katsu !”

silence, no response. you try again.

“…hello ?”

you hear a scoff from the other end, and some shuffling before your boyfriend graces you with an answer. “look at your phone, you idiot.”

“hello, katsu.” you snort. “yeah, yeah. hi.” you can practically hear the roll of his eyes through the phone, you giggle and your boyfriend huffs through the speaker.

it’s then that you see the wall of texts from him “oh, did you text me ? my bad i was studying.”

there’s a faint sigh of relief “‘s fine.”

“were you worried ?” you tease.

“fuck no. just—“ a sudden pause then katsuki grumbles “answer my texts next time, moron. bye. don’t overdo it while studying or i’ll kill you.”

“meanie !” you giggle, and when he hangs up you send him a text.

we can study together next time, just so you don’t flip out again 💗😚

katsuki scoffs a mean laugh, then sends you a middle finger.

[user-needs-new-hyperfixation]

Book One San Lang is so funny. He put his whole ghostussy into his human disguise -- every palm line and fingerprint in place, every strand of hair perfect -- but then he's just so blatantly Weird™. Like sure this teenage nepo baby wandering around on a whim because he was fighting with his parents will definitely take all of this Scary Supernatural Stuff in stride with no more than a very transparently flirtatious "I'm sca-wed gege. 🥺" Sure, he definitely just has casual encyclopedic knowledge of gods and defunct kingdoms going back almost a millennium and featuring details that aren't available on Wuxiapedia, and he can read dead languages. Of course he exhibits random carpentry skills. He stabs a guy with a chopstick and then shrugs when he deflates like a skin balloon. He cheerfully ties venomous snakes into knots and very evidently explodes them with his mind. Just Normal Human Kid things!

[kuzoowl]

Class hours! ☠️🏈

[linolinoing]

home home ♡

[teaboot]

One of my many brothers has a sensory issue regarding certain types of metal

It appears that my cutlery is uniquely offensive, which is uniquely bothersome when he comes to visit and ends up eating tortellini with his hands

But I believe I have devised a most elegant solution

Jimmy's forks

[http-wolfstar]

They got interrupted :(

[jameszmaguire]

I think it would be better for everyone if I were to be left alone in the future. Don't you?

[iamlostandinneedofcoffee]

I like to imagine that every once in a while Red Hood just goes off comms for long stretches of time and comes back bruised as shit and exhausted before logging off for the night and the rest of bat brigade is trying to figure out which villain of the week keeps jumping him.

Eventually they, cause communication is a skill no one learned, just start harassing hood’s men to find out whose turf they are invading only to find out they thought the bats were beefing with Red again cause he keeps mumbling about brats.

Now they are trying to find out which one of them is lying about fucking with Jason and no one is owning up, the trackers they keep putting on him are fizzling out, no one as any idea and Jason ain’t saying shit. But like he’s never properly irritated about it or asks for help nor can they find anything out so they let it go for now (read keep trying to track him to no avail).

And then one night Red Robin comes across Red getting chased and then fighting off a feral looking teenager on the roofs of Crime Alley and just when he looks like he is getting the upper hand another drops down from above (how the fuck the nearest taller building is not anywhere near close enough to dive into the fight from what the fuck?!?) and joins the brawl.

Tim is about to rush in to help Jason before the two teens’ heads turn in unison to him with Lazarus green eyes and look like cats when they see a red dot. Jason panics and before he can grab them, they leap and now Tim is in a cartoon brawl dust cloud and all and Jason has joined in and is calling them all brats and how his gunna whop their ass- and there is a foot in his mouth.

And yet through it all Tim never feels afraid. In fact, as he fights he realises they are keeping up and beating him all whilst smiling and punning(?!? They must never meet dick SHIT DUCK) and that won’t fucking do, so he brings out all his tools and tricks and is getting matching by two raccoon twins. 20 minutes later they are all grinning bloody smiles and just as he is about to slam his bo staff up into into the female looking twin, a whistle is blown.

They all freeze and look over in unison as if they all became shining quadruplets at a giant shit house built fucking man. And like Tim has seen big men. Bane is a big mother fucker. Superman is a big mother fucker, and is also shaped like one. Bats is big but this guy even though his is maybe not as large he feels infinitely more terrifying and that’s before you get to the flaming(fucking literally, how does that even work or stay in the pony tail) white hair.

“Alright enough for tonight or foods gunna go cold. Inside.” A voice bellows across the roof before the man disappears??!? At the mention of food the one top of Tim almost starts drooling, gets up and starts dragging Tim’s still prone body across the roof and off of it OH FUCK AND INTO A WALL WHA and they went through it… well

A couple second later Jason and the other dude stumble in. Jason picks Tim up as he is coming down from that mini adrenaline rush at and puts a arm around Tim, half hug half chokehold, saying “say nothing and you get to join once a week. Say shit and you’re haunted.” And walks off to the kitchen and starts bringing out food.

… safe to say the rest of the bats are now confused why Tim of all people is now turning up bruised as well with Jason, cause if it was him to start why has he started loosing all of a sudden??? And he says fuck all but his weapons and fighting style has got more chaotic and terrifying.

Oh and he seems to be eating… well you win some and lose some