#but it also just wasn’t worth arguing anyway? so yeah

[mass-convergence]

Honestly?

Any time someone tells you there’s a very simple root cause to a societal issue is either horrifically misinformed or is actively lying to you to push an agenda.

[caitskywalker14]

Run For The Hills - Toxic! Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader

So this is my first post on here and I’m currently DOWN BAD for Ellie and I LOVE all the angst fics people write on here so wanted to do my own based on ‘run for the hills’ by Tate McRae as the song is soooo good! And fits the mood of this story??? lol. This also is super long but it’s worth it I hope

Anyway, i hope you all enjoy this as much as I have writing it you hoes xx

( toxic!ellie, cheating, drug mention, substance use, situationships, reader is aware its wrong but can’t stop loving Ellie, swearing, hints of spice, modern au, overall negative vibes from Ellie, TW bruises and physical pain as well as mental/emotional pain, confusing love and lust, toxic name calling, manipulation and angst)

Bold is lyrics of the song xx

GIF is not mine - credit to original owner and creator.

Hotels, late nights, hands through my hair

Long talks, red eyes, clothes everywhere

Missing a moment when you're still there

You gotta thing you can't find nowhere, yeah-yeah

“Yeah well you’re fucking stupid if you think that you’re the only girl I’m screwing” screamed Ellie, her voice cracking in anger as she watched you pace up and down her apartment for what seemed like the 100th time this month. Despite it being late into the evening, your clothes were scattered all over the furniture, a reminder of the madness that just happened, and you desperately wanted to gather them and get out.

You and Ellie had a complicated relationship, if you could even call it that - hot, tension filled sex and arguments mixed with the drugs and alcohol fuelled college parties only made the situations you would find yourself in 10 times worse. Not to mention her lying, cheating, manipulation, and endless list of red flags that would lead any sane person to immediately cut ties… Yet there was something about the girl that drew you in. Like a moth to a flame, she enticed you, her words like honey when she whispered filthy words of praise in your ears, fingers rough yet still gentle on the rare occasions she’d take care of you after sex. And those eyes - those piercing, green eyes that seemed to fill your core with heat and desire every time she looked into yours. Ellie Williams truly was something else, and you knew it - she knew it too. Her confidence oozed sex appeal, as she often would remind you during arguements, like tonight, that she could “get any girl in her bed” and she didn’t have a problem with getting “pretty girls with pretty pussy”.

Sometimes, on a rare occasion, she’d let you in to see her softer side. Her front of being cocky and arrogant slipped away when she’d carefully hold your hand whilst tenderly stroking your skin to calm you down at parties, or when you’d come to see her and she’d made a poor attempt of a pasta dish she heard you talk about for dinner and even on some mornings where you would wake up to her softly caressing your face whilst running her hands through your hair as she gazed with nothing but love and affection towards you. The long, deep talks you’d have whilst sharing weed, eyes red and hazy where you’d talk about hopes and plans for the future whilst she listened eagerly, joining in to talk and interrupt your rants with sweet kisses, both of you giggling like children. These moments were what kept you coming back for more, however these were rarer recently as the only things you would do together were fight, argue, cry, fuck and ghost each other in the ongoing cycle of your “situation”.

Deep down, you knew that Ellie had issues with commitment, whether that be with you, college work or even part time jobs - it wasn’t her “thing” as she often said to upset you during fights, preferring to live life recklessly which honestly fucked with your head in more ways than one. How could someone who claimed to love you cheat on you with girls all over campus? The same girl who said she was yours - that you owned her mind,body and soul, had messages and messages on her phone from girls who desperately wanted to sleep with her again. She truly was a piece of shit towards you, and you knew this yet foolishly still gave into her with a click of her fingers and you’d go running back. The truth was, when you cut her off you felt free, like you could breathe and the air was suddenly fresh and clear of all pollution yet inside your body, it didn’t feel right - you began to miss the moments you had when she was temporarily yours, you missed her mouth, the taste of her lips and the scent of her cologne. The things you couldn’t find in anyone else made it hard to leave, nowhere else felt like home to you.

Kissing, screaming, straight back to war

I'm walking out until I lock the door

Maybe the danger's covered by the thrill

'Cause I know I should be running for the hills

“Ellie I’m not fucking stupid that’s why I’m done with you, I’m done with whatever fucked up fantasy this is and I’m done with being treated like I don’t mean shit to you.” You paused in your step, hastily slipping on your jeans and hoodie as Ellie sat on her couch, smoking a cigarette with almost glassy eyes as she chuckled to herself.

“I’m exhausted Ellie, you’ve drained the life out of me and those messages?? Those fucking messages from Yasmine, that girl you swore you didn’t fuck last weekend when you bailed on our plans have tipped me over the fucking edge so I’m done”, you screamed at her, fuelled with anger and rage directed not only at Ellie and her antics, but yourself for being so dumb enough to think she could change. Ellie sat silently, you could see her mind was racing of what more hurtful lies she could spew at you. She puts her smoke out before she starts her talk.

“Yeah well, it’s not my fault you’re just a dumb slut who can’t get it into her skull that we aren’t a real thing, you should know that by now I fuck who I want, when I want, and you” she stands up, rushing into your personal space, beginning to jab her finger into your chest with each word, “YOU are not gonna stop me!“

“It’s your fault that I do cheat. I mean I have to put up with your bitchy whining all the time and I get sick of it. Why can’t you just be chill like the others?.”

You scoff in disbelief at her words, stepping back away from her vicious stance. Usually by now you’d be crying asking for her to stop and you’d seemingly end up back in her bed, but all you can think about is how disgusting she sounds and how you definitely deserve better. “Well I won’t whine anymore and I’m not gonna stop you from fucking whatever girl you pick, because you’re dead to me.”. You turn around, collecting your last few items, ignoring her cold stare piercing into your back.

Once you had gathered your belongings, you leant against the door frame to put your shoes on, when suddenly a brutal force pushed you against the door, Ellie had you trapped. She had her tatted, muscular arms pressed against the door, caging your body so you couldn’t escape. “Babe, come on, you know you don’t mean that.”, she utters, looking into your eyes with that smirk, teasing you with her tone. “You always act so tough and mighty but we both know what you want”. Ellie’s fingers now found themselves gripping at your chin, tilting your head up to look deeper into her eyes, still keeping you secure against her chest and the door. “You want to be consumed by me, you live and breathe for me baby and you know that I’m the only one who gives that pussy a good fuck, just how you like it”, her hands now trailing down to your hips to possessively grab you to further press herself into your body. You let out a small gasp at the impact, turning your head away to avoid looking into her eyes as she slowly traced kisses over the sensitive skin of your neck. Mustering your strength, you push Ellie away from you, opening the door to finally leave the toxic girl you once loved. Before you left, she dropped her last few words.

“You should have known not to get too attached baby, I told you to run for the hills before ever falling for me”

You shuddered. A sick part of you loved the thrill, the chase and the danger surrounding Ellie Williams, but yeah maybe you should run for the hills, and never come back.

The way you touch me

Straight to the heart, yeah

It cuts me

'Cause I know deep down that it's

Never gonna ever be us, oh

Never gonna ever be more than just something that's fucking me up

A few days have passed, and you’re alone in your room. Since your messy “breakup” with Ellie, you don’t think you’ve ever been this bored in your entire life. Mindlessly, you begin scrolling on social media, checking snap, TikTok and the usual sites to see what everyone’s up to. Scrolling through instagram stories, you stumble across Ellie’s. You forgot to block her account this time, you’d been busy doing your own thing and your method of “healing” didn’t include blocking…more in the form of parties, kissing girls and doing shots until you blacked out with your friends.

Anxiously, you debated whether or not to click it - you knew she’d see you in her views and probably boast about it to her friends that you were obsessed with her, but you thought fuck it and clicked onto it. You held a breath as you nervously waited for the story to load. When it did, your heart stopped in your chest, a painful cut seeping slowly through your skin. It was a picture of Ellie in a bathroom mirror at what seemed to be a party, with a girl (a girl whom you actually haven’t seen her with before), bent over with Ellie stood behind her grabbing her hip as the other hand held her phone so she could pose in the mirror. The story included a caption “New bitch who dis” and the song choice was rather interesting at least - “I don’t fuck with you”.

As soon as you’d saw this, you finally let out a gasp of shock as you paused the screen, examining every last detail of the picture - Ellie’s fingernails now painted black, her signature flannel shirt unbuttoned for a relaxed look and her smirk as she looked into the camera, almost as if she was taunting you by her public display of her latest fling. It hurt, you couldn’t lie or pretend that her attempt of making you feel shitty didn’t work because it did. You looked as Ellie’s hand was possessively gripping the girl’s hip, often like how she would with you when she’d take you from behind (especially at parties when you’d sneak off to the bathroom), and you missed her touch. The way her fingers worked inside you, curling to hit the spot that made you see stars, the way they’d pull and tug at your hair when she’d pound you and the touch of her lips when she’d suck on your neck and nipples when she fucked you. It all came flooding back into your head and you felt your eyes swell with tears, stomach aching as you felt your emotions overflowing.

Still, deep down, you knew that it would never just be you and her. You knew your once-ideal-world of you being together was a facade. You knew that you’d never be enough for Ellie, enough to make her change. Despite this, it still hurt and the wounds she left seemed like they’d never heal. This toxic cycle did nothing but fuck you up each time it happened. Swiping off her story, you took a deep breath as you laid your head back onto your pillow, closing your eyes as you took deep breaths.

You made a promise to yourself to rise above it - you deserved so much better.

I know that when it's all done

I'll hate you bad in the long run

But, somehow, it never ends

My heel's on the edge of your bed again, yeah

I get obsessive with you

All that I want is attention from you

Break into my life and break all my rules, it's true

It had now been nearly 2 weeks since you’d seen Ellie in person, and despite her numerous attempts to contact you via calling, texting, Snapchat and all the rest, your dislike for the girl was still strong and you swore that you had finally closed your chapter with Ellie for good. It was also down to your friends (who always were there when she’d hurt you in the past) that literally warned you not to go back or else they’d rock your shit. They hated Ellie and hated her making you cry. You promised them that it was done, finished and over, convincing them and yourself that you hated her.

The weekend was finally approaching and there were major plans for a party at one of the frat houses on campus. You and your friends were extremely excited to attend, especially after a hard week of exams, tests and homework. The best medicine you all needed was to look sexy, get wasted and maybe even hook up with fellow party-goers. It was that one night that you desperately craved someone’s attention. You just didn’t think it would be from the person who broke your heart…Ellie. Even more so after all you’ve said about “not falling back into her trap”. Again, fate decided that this cycle would never end.

The night was crazy, you had had more shots that you could count, cups and cups full of endless spirits mixed with cheap juices/soda. You had laughed with friends whilst dancing to the playlist booming from the speakers, comforted random girls in the bathroom who cried over their exes and gotten a few girls socials (maybe even had a few kisses too but you’d probably forget all about them in the morning). However, all the fun had to come to an end at some point.

As soon as you saw Ellie stood in the corner, her eyes darkening with lust and passion, heat filled your core and you felt those same butterflies you felt the first time you saw her. The music and voices turned to a blur as the only thing you could focus on was her as she slowly walked towards you through the crowd, pulling you into her arms to hold you close - almost as if you’d slip away again if she let go. Nervously, you looked into her eyes, cursing yourself for craving her touch and attention. You were down bad, obsessed with her and it would surely be the death of you.

“You ready to come home babe?” She asked softly, a hint of amusement in her tone as she rested her hands on your waist, rubbing up and down your body.

The only thing you could do was nod as she gripped your hand, her poisonous touch melting away at your flesh as she led you to the uber she’d booked. Whisking you away from the party with only one thing on her mind - make up sex. Touching and tasting your body, the things that Ellie missed way more than she’d admit.

You broke the promise you made to your friends, you broke the promise to yourself and you let her invade your life like a parasite once again. It’s true, you’d let her break you down again like always. All just to gain some sort of attention from her, even if it was fake.

You hooked up once more.

Should run for the hills, should run for the hills

Should be running for the hills

The way you touch me

The next morning you woke up, limbs tangled and your clothes scattered all over Ellie’s cluttered bedroom. Your head was pounding from your hangover as you turned to Ellie’s sleeping figure next to you. She looked so peaceful, at ease and calm as you watched her chest rise slowly with each breath she took. You laid there for a good 30 minutes, counting each freckle on her cheeks, tracing her scars lightly to not wake her.

You wish every moment you spent with Ellie could be like this - it would be a dream come true. Though you knew deep down that this moment would be ruined in some way or another when the girl woke up, or even in a few days when her habits caught up with her. You felt your eyes fill with salty tears as you felt nausea overcome you when gazing at her. How could someone so beautiful cause so much suffering?

Lightly turning over, you stretched your sore limbs as you got up to head to the bathroom, walking in and turning the light on.

You looked a mess - a physical manifestation of your mind and soul. Lips cracked and sore, as you gazed at your reflection. Your chest was covered in bites and bruises, causing you to wince as you’d accidentally press too hard on your wrists, where her hands had gripped you last night. Looking down, your inner thighs were not left untouched with finger prints and bites there too. Last night was a blur, you enjoyed the sex you and Ellie would engage in but last night seemed to cause more pain than pleasure. As you stood there in silence you came to the reality…

This was the touch you craved? These were the type of marks that drove you wild?

How did you not see the physical damage she did to you?

You spent all your time being mentally drained by Ellie that you’d forgotten how it felt physically to be treated like this by someone you were supposed to love and feel protected by. It wasn’t right and you felt like a fool for it taking this long for you to truly realise the impact she had on you. Her touch was toxic, her words were venom and you’d clearly confused love and lust as the same thing. You had spent that much time focusing on the rare good moments you’d have with Ellie, that they had made you forget how unhealthy it all was.

Washing your face with cold water, you looked into the mirror at the girl you didn’t recognise. It was time to leave. For good. Before it was too late.

Leaving the bathroom, you silently began getting dressed, trying your best to not break down and wake her. Ellie was a deep sleeper, especially after drinking so you knew that this would be an easy escape. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you looked round the room at all of her posters, pictures and trinkets she had. You inhaled the scent of pine leaves, mint and vanilla. Taking a deep breath, you looked at Ellie once more, before leaning down to place a kiss at the top of her head and you left.

You did the one thing you’d never thought you’d do.

You ran for those hills and you never looked back.

So guys I hope you enjoyed this first piece I wrote, it made me emotional to write this as I myself have been through similar situations as well as people I know in real life. As I stated this is my first piece so I know there will be some errors as I’m new to this, thanks for understanding!

Abuse in any form is not ok. This work is purely for fictional purposes and not to be taken as a representation of a healthy, human relationship.

Please know that help is there if you need it. You’re not alone🖤

Please show some love and support below and let me know what you think. I might do more of these if I get requests or enough people like this one.

Thanks again x

[seeingivy]

you belong with me

satoru gojo x f!reader

**part of my satoru as taylor swift songs series

content: high school!au, gojo is a robotics nerd, reader is class president, emo nanami (my beloved), toji is ur shitass football playing boyfriend, typical cheesy highschool drama

an: tell me why posting this is giving me a tummy ache like I haven't posted for gojo in forever and now i think I suck at it :OOO anyways, please be nice to me about this and close your eyes if you hate it. also, totally reliving my high school days when I was senior class vice president (worst experience of my life) FDLJFKDSJFLS

--

You’re a hater. A self proclaimed, real-life, deep in your soul hater. 

What do you hate today? Being class president. 

You hate that you willingly ran, somehow won, had people up your ass all day about stuff that wasn’t in your control, and got stuck in the current situation you were in. Which was arguing with your boyfriend Toji, as you pace around your room and do your own fair share of screaming back. 

“You just did that shit because you were pissed at me.” 

“I did not, Toji. You know, not everything is about you. Other people needed the money and I put it where it was needed.” 

“To the color guard team? Babe, no one gives a fuck about the color guard team. Everyone is at the homecoming game to watch the football team. Not a bunch of idiots waving flags in the air.” 

“They’re also part of the game and all their equipment is broken. They need it more than you when you guys literally get donors and funding from the district and-”

“You’re just pissed about the sweetheart thing. That’s why you’re doing this shit and taking it out on everyone else.” 

“Toji, I’m not even mad about-” 

You’re met with the sound of ringing over the phone, signaling that Toji had enough and finally hung up on you. You flop straight onto your bed, pushing your face so hard into your pillow that sits uncomfortably against your nose and the smell of your laundry detergent makes its way to the crevices of your brain.

You hear a banging behind you and twist around to see Gojo pointing at his walkie-talkie, switching it on as you reach for yours. It’s still covered in glittery pink stickers from when you were seven, the silver coming off on your hand every time you grab it. 

“Come in, bunny.” 

“Loud and clear, Toru.” 

He smiles, setting his hardware down - probably for another weird ass robot he was making - as he holds it up to his face, talking again. 

“You okay?” 

“Yeah. Just arguing with Toji, again. I’ll start allocating some of our funds to get you some sound proof windows.” 

“Much appreciated, Madam President. That’s very generous of you.” 

You laugh, dropping the walkie talkie to lift your fingertips to your temples, lightly massaging the pulsating under your skin. 

“For what it’s worth, the color guard team is really grateful you did that for them. I know Utahime was so excited when the new flags came in, she was flipping them around on the field for hours.” 

“That’s why it’s even more annoying. I know what I did was right, but he just doesn’t see it that way. Uta dragged me down to the field to watch them and their choreography looks so much better with the multicolored flags. They were really happy about it.” 

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown?” 

“Heavy is the head that’s dating Toji Fushiguro.” 

He laughs as you switch your channel off, taking the last few seconds to study you before you draw your curtains. He can see the tension sitting in your shoulders and how clearly it hurts you to argue with Toji like this. And it infuriates him. That you even have to go to sleep angry and that the cause is the headass idiot you’re dating. 

Toji Fushiguro is lucky, far more lucky than he realizes. Not for obvious reasons. Yeah, he’s a great football player and yeah, he’ll probably get scouted for some really good university at the end of the year. He doesn’t have a shortage of friends or intelligence and for all intents and purposes, he’s loved (which Gojo doesn’t understand at all). 

He’ll probably be that scumbag that people see a few years down the line and then get infuriated at. Because if an absolute asshat like Toji Fushiguro can be successful, then truly all things have gone to shit. That the patriarchy is real, that society is broken, living proof that the asshole always wins and everyone else always loses. 

But no, those are common reasons to hate Toji Fushiguro - ones he’s heard echoed by Suguru and Shoko every time he does something that pisses the two of them off. Like scream obscenities in the hallways, block their parking spots when they’re going to class, call them names when they walk by. 

No. Toji Fushiguro is lucky because he gets to date you. Because out of the long list of girls he had to pick one, Toji just had to pick the one that was his. The girl he’s been in love with since he moved in right across the street and had a smiley neighbor excitedly waving at him through her bay window. 

To him, love has always been the pigtail braids you used to wear everyday in the fourth grade, the matching walkie-talkies you bought him in sixth grade when he got grounded, and that sweet smile you’ve had since the first day he’s met you. 

And when he sees those green curtains pulled against the bay window he’s stared at for years, where he’s loved you from for years, he lifts the walkie and says what he forgot to mention. 

I love you.

--

Thanks to your gracious ride, you make it to school thirty minutes early. Your intuition - that Toji was ditching you as your ride to school this morning - was correct. Luckily, you made it in time just before class started. 

Nanami’s already seated on the green bench outside the classroom, headphones plugged into his ears. As you walk up, you silently wonder how much hair gel it takes to keep his Gerard Way hairstyle in place. 

“Hi Kento! How is my best friend doing on this fine morning?” 

“We’re not best friends.” 

“Sure we are!” 

You reach forward and pinch his cheek in your hand, which he only swats off and rolls his eyes at. That’s how you know your best friends. Because if it was anyone else, Nanami would probably break their hand and walk away. But he always lets you tease him, because he know he loves you. 

“Are you still fighting with that dog?” 

“That dog has a name. And it’s Toji. And I’m not sure, he didn’t pick me up for school this morning.” 

“Did he at least tell you he wouldn’t?” 

“No. I was lucky enough that Satoru had walked Megs to the bus stop a little late and I was able to get a ride with him.” 

Nanami looks over, narrowing his eyes at you, as the hallway starts getting crowded with people. And you know what he’s saying, what he’s been saying for the past few months. 

“You know, it’s very normal to give your neighbor a ride when they need one. Not everything has ulterior motives, Kento.” 

“That’s true. Everything doesn’t have ulterior motives. But he does. I’ve seen how he looks at you.”

“How does he look at me, Kento?” 

“Like he’d kiss the ground you’d walk on.” 

You roll your eyes, reaching up to mess up his perfectly styled hair. It doesn’t budge and you get a handful of minty smelling hair gel.

“As if.”

Like you’ve summoned him by bringing him up, Satoru’s sidestepping to where you and Nanami are sitting, Shoko and Getou in tow with him. 

“Nanami~~ How’s my best friend doing?” Satoru says, bending over to totally obscure Nanami’s line of vision.

“Shut the fuck up, Gojo.” Nanami responds. 

Nanami stands up, giving you a look, before he stalks away to his next class. Leaving you, Satoru, Shoko, and Getou standing in front of your classroom.  

“So. I hear you have a robotics competition?” you ask.

“Yeah. Next Saturday. We always practice our hardware out the night before, throw a little party in the lab. You should come.” Getou says, smiling at you. 

Satoru smacks Getou in the stomach right after he invites you, clearly trying to tell him something with his eyes. And then when he catches you staring, he gives you a nervous laugh. 

You get it. He doesn’t want you there.

“Don’t act too excited to see me now, Satoru. Anything more and I might think you like me.” you bite sarcastically.

“What? No, it’s not like that. I just-” Satoru stutters, 

“So you don’t like me?” you say, smirking at him. Shoko and Getou are laughing, the tips of Satoru’s turning pink as he very adamantly tells you that he does indeed like you. 

“I have stuff to set up for the homecoming game that day, so I won’t be able to. But I’ll try my best, yeah?” 

“Okay. Next time?” Getou asks. 

“Sure, Sugar-u. I’ll see you guys around, yeah?” 

You give the three of them a polite smile as you trudge away, leaving to meet Toji at his locker and give him a piece of your mind for this morning. Which leaves Shoko and Getou to give Satoru the scolding of his life. 

“Are you fucking stupid, Satoru? You made it seem like you didn’t want her there.” Shoko says, smacking him on the back of the head. 

“I panicked! Plus, Haibara always likes to play Just Dance and I’d rather not embarrass myself in front of her.” Satoru responds, rubbing the now sore spot on the back of his head. 

“You’re hopeless, Satoru. She’s never going to like you if you keep rejecting her the way you do.” Suguru says, dragging him along to the robotics lab. 

“She has a boyfriend. Who isn’t me. As if she would even consider dating me in the first place.” 

And when the three of them pass you by the lockers, clearly getting yelled at by Toji, it only furthers their argument more. 

“Yeah, I’m sure she really loves him, Satoru.” 

--

Your argument with Toji hours prior simmers in your head, as you wait for the bus to arrive and for this godforsaken day to finally be over. You watch him pile into his car with Salma and the other boys from the football team, which only makes your anger fester more. 

He’s doing this to piss you off. Of course, he’s doing this to-

“Need a ride?” 

You look up and unclench your fists to find Satoru, sparkly blue eyes shining at you and a hand held out to you. 

“Thanks.” 

He leads you to his car, an almost demolished Honda Civic from his maniacal driving, and you climb in, immediately putting your head in your hands. You can feel him moving around you, the engine purring on and him backing out of the spot. 

“About earlier. I don’t not want you to come to the robotics thing. I just thought it was awkward the way he asked you and I-I didn’t want you to feel obligated to come, you know? And I-I’d like it if you came too and so would the rest of us.” he rambles, a hand in his hair. 

You look up, his ears tinted pink from the confession. 

“I was just teasing you, Satoru. I’ll try to make it by, okay?” 

He sighs, a clear breath of relief, and looks over to smile.

“Okay, cool cool cool. Now tell me why you and Toji are fighting.” 

“When aren’t we fighting?” you murmur, pressing your head against the glass. 

“But why?” 

And when you look over, his blue eyes staring into yours, in earnest while the light is red, you unload it all. 

“Do you know about the sweethearts thing they do at the homecoming game?” 

“Uh. That’s when the cheerleaders wear the jerseys right. And then decorate the locker room or some shit for the players.” 

“Yeah. Well, it’s not limited to cheerleaders. It usually is, but if you’re dating someone, that person can do it for you.” 

“So I’m guessing Toji doesn’t want you to do it for him.” 

“Not exactly. He was just saying that it’s more traditional for a cheerleader to do it since they’re also on the side of the track and he wants to see his name out there instead of running around, trying to make sure the game is running and all that.” 

You slump into the chair as Satoru frowns, a pitying look in his eyes, as he keeps driving. You can’t help but watch him, his silhouette against the window - defined jaw, the slope of his nose. 

He’s not the guy who ran away from kissing you in the eighth grade. He’s just ten times hotter. 

You shake your head, letting the thought spill from your mind, as Satoru looks over. 

“Jamoca?” he says, giving you a wide grin. 

You can’t help but laugh, nodding as Satoru makes a sharp left turn, making his way to the ice cream shop. 

Jamoca is your favorite ice cream flavor. Coffee, layered with fudge and almonds, became a proclaimed favorite when Satoru dragged you once in the sixth grade. After very sorely losing the class president battle, you moped in your room for five days - even going as far as borrowing one of Nanami’s My Chemical Romance vinyls to truly and properly mope. 

On day three of blasting the vinyl, Satoru called enough and dragged you to the closest ice cream store, claiming it was the closest thing to therapy that you normies could afford. Since then, any bad day was easily solved with two things. 

Jamoca and Satoru. 

When you make it to the store, Satoru’s excitedly dragging you out of the car, his hand pressed in yours as you both run into the store, giggling while you order your single scoops. And when he drags you out to the curb and you sit there, you silently think to yourself why you ever stopped doing this in the first place. 

Satoru leans over, digging his chocolate fudge covered spoon into your cup, before talking. 

“So. If you guys fight so much, why are you still dating?” 

“Dunno. Feels weird to initiate a breakup, I guess. I can’t see myself doing it.” 

“Even when he wants other girls to be his sweetheart?” 

“Even when he wants other girls to be his sweetheart.” 

You kick the pebbles into the broken parts of the pavement, leaning your elbows on your knees. 

“I don’t know, Toru. I guess he was just the first guy who ever liked me back and then I….spent so much time in the relationship and trying to make it work that it feels weird to let it go now.” 

Satoru swallows hard, eyeing his melting ice cream, as he ponders the best response. Because in earnest, he has two options. Support you or be selfish. Support you to stay with Toji, to do what you’ve been doing because he knows it’s what you want. Or be selfish. Tell you that he you deserve better, that he could be that for you if you just let him. 

He reaches over, flicking you in the forehead. 

“Ouch, asshole.” 

“You’ve got a really big brain in there. And you always have. You’ll figure out the right thing to do, just give it time.” 

And when you give him a halfhearted smile, reaching over into his cup for a bite of his ice cream, he lets it go. 

He can’t be selfish. Not when it comes to you anyways. 

--

After running around all day, you give yourself thirty minutes to go to Satoru’s robotics thing. After triple checking the microphones work, the yearbook team has access to the field, the glitter has been set out for everyone trickling in, and that everyone who could possibly need your phone number has it, you speed run to the other side of campus, to the robotics lab. 

And when you make it, the five of them - Haibara, Nanami, Shoko, Getou, and Satoru - are in the room playing Just Dance. Shoko’s sitting on top of the desk, flippantly moving her remote in the air, while Satoru quite literally is trying to give it all he’s got - and losing apparently. 

You lightly push the door open, which stops the two of them in their tracks, and you’re met with some very excited cheers as they all drag you into the room. You take a seat next to Nanami, giving his cheek a pinch, which he hates. 

“You’re Haibara, right?” 

“You know who I am?” 

“Why wouldn’t I? You’re friends with Nanami and Nanami and I are best friends.” 

“No we aren’t.” responds Nanami, now sulking two seats away from you. 

“Are too.” 

You throw the nearest object, a pencil at Nanami, as you turn back to Haibara and laugh. 

“I like your shirt. Flight of the Navigator is a really good movie.” 

You see Satoru, Shoko, and Suguru’s eyes widen in the back at your words and hear a considerable amount of groaning from Nanami behind you. And after twenty minutes, you find out why. 

Haibara really, really loves Flight of the Navigator. Almost too much. In earnest, you barely remember the movie - at most, maybe the weird little alien companion he has. But here Haibara is, reciting the cast, the directors, acting out the scenes and it’s clear to you that you’ve tapped into some monster they all keep hidden. 

Luckily for you, Satoru comes to your rescue. 

“Okay, Haibara. I’m going to steal her for you for some Just Dance.” 

“I don’t Just Dance Satoru.” 

“Oh yeah? You’re just saying that because you know you’re going to lose.” 

You scoff, knowing exactly what he’s doing. 

“As if, sweetheart. I distinctly remember you banning us from ever playing that game together after I beat you in the fifth grade.” 

“You’re rusty. Maybe we’ll start with something easy. Like Rasputin.” 

“I could do Rasputin in my sleep, bitch.” 

“Prove it.” 

You roll your eyes as you march over to the front, where they’re projecting the game onto the screen. And just for posterity’s sake, you take Satoru’s sunglasses from where they were flipped over on the desk and put them on, effectively blinding yourself from the screen. 

And when the songs start, you can hear them all laughing behind you, Satoru and you hurling insults at each other as you dance on. And somewhere around the middle, you’re sure Satoru must be losing because he grabs your hands and suddenly he’s swinging you around in the air, his hands on your waist as you laugh. 

And when you take your blindfold off and the song dies down, Satoru wins by five points. 

“You asshole. You literally cheated, Satoru.” 

“Did not. You’re just a sore loser, bitch.” 

“You kiss your mom with that mouth?” 

“Every night, sweetheart.” 

You put the palm of your hand in his face as you push him away, moving to sit on the desk. He joins you, the two of you now watching Haibara and Nanami have a very one sided dance battle. 

After forty-five minutes, Satoru’s phone buzzes three times and the smile on his face drops when he checks. You place your hand on his, squeezing twice before asking. 

“You okay?” 

“Huh. Oh, yeah. I-I think you should go to the field. Right now.” 

“Wait, what? But you hate that kind of-” 

He grabs your hand, dragging you out, as you both start running to the field. You keep asking as he pulls you on, getting almost no response and only a faster pace. 

And when you reach the field, you catch just the end of it and the only thing grounding you to that moment is Satoru and Utahime, who was surely the one who had texted Satoru, holding onto your shoulders. 

Salma, the cheerleader Toji picked to be his sweetheart, just asked him to homecoming during halftime. And he said yes. 

Utahime squeezes your hand three times, a soft look in her eyes when she talks. 

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I just thought you would want to know and I wanted to tell you because you’ve been nothing but nice to me.” 

You smile, moving into her open arms as you whisper a small thank you into her shoulder. She leaves, having to return to the color guard team waiting for her on the side, leaving you and Satoru standing on the pavement right by the field. 

“Take you home?” 

“Thanks, Toru.” 

“You want Jamoca?” 

“Not today.” 

He nods, a hand on the small of your back, as he leads you to his car, even going as far as opening the door for you and letting you crack the windows while you drive back - which you know he hates. 

At the first red light, he taps on the top of your head to get your attention. 

“Penny for your thoughts?” 

“Do you think there’s something wrong with me?” 

“What? Of course, not. Toji is just an asshat who doesn’t see you for what you’re worth and-” 

“No. No, no. Not like that. Do you think there’s something wrong with me because I’m not even the tiniest bit sad right now? I’m…relieved.” 

Satoru looks over, the red front the traffic light flashing on your face, and a blank expression staring back at him. 

“Of course, not. He’s a grade one idiot. Anyone in your position would feel that way, bunny.” 

“I know. That’s true.” 

“But?” 

“Does this make me defective, Satoru? Like, maybe I just can’t like people that much or something and I was the problem.” 

Satoru twiddles his thumbs on the steering wheel, pondering the same question he has been asking for the past few days. Encourage her or be selfish. 

He can’t be selfish with you. 

“Okay, Y/N. Close your eyes.” 

“Huh?” 

“Just do it.” 

“Okay.” 

He looks over, to find you eyelids fluttering shut, your face lit up by the streetlights outside.

“Now. Tell me about your dream guy, bunny.” 

“What are you going on ab-” 

“Just do it.” 

You sigh, before thinking hard about his question. 

“Someone I can be comfortable with. That’s my type. Like we can have fun together and play games but also being around them is comforting to me. Things might suck, but at least they are there to kind of pick me up at the end of the day. They’re nice to people and are surrounded by good company, because you are who you love and they try to be better each day.” 

After finishing, you open your eyes to find Satoru staring at you, an all-knowing look on his face. 

“Bunny?” 

“Toru?” 

“Does that sound anything like Toji to you?” 

You slump back into your chair, sinking down. 

“No.” you murmur. 

“You aren’t defective. Well, maybe in the higher level cognitive thinking part because you clearly have some impaired decision making but-” 

“Hey. Don’t be rude, asshole.” 

“Get out of the car.” 

You crane your head out the window to see you’re in fact not at your house, but at the ice cream store. And when he comes around to your side of the car, opening your door, he drags you out, the two of you eating you ice cream in the light of the dingy lamp outside the store. 

--

You knock hard on your window, only stopping when Satoru looks up from his desk, dropping the pencil he was just scribbling with. You point to your walkie talkie, switching on the channel as he grabs his. 

“Hi bunny. You look nice.” 

“Thank you. Are you coming tonight?” 

To homecoming. Because despite all odds and last night, you still have to go. And crown the homecoming king and queen since you’re the class president, which you’re sure will be Salma and Toji since the universe is very, very kind to you. 

“I’m sorry. Haibara needed help designing something for next week.” 

“Oh. Okay. I wish you were.” 

“I wish I was too. His hardware is Flight of the Navigator themed so wish me luck.” 

You laugh, giving him one last smile as he pulls the curtains to his window. And when you see his navy windows against the pane you’ve stared at him through for years, it only now occurs to you. 

When he asked you to describe that last night, he unlocked something. Bringing it to your attention, to the forefront of your mind. 

The person you were describing is him. You lift your walkie talkie to your mouth, press the button, and mention the words you forgot to say. 

I love you.

And then you turn on your heel and drive yourself to the dance. 

--

Satoru ponders it for thirty minutes. 

Support her or be selfish. Support her or be selfish. Support her or be selfish. 

Be fucking selfish. 

Satoru gets up, dropping the hardware he was making for Haibara, and pulls out the first suit he can find. He grabs his walkie talkie off his desk, convinces Megumi to go beg your mom (who loves Megumi) for your walkie talkie, and then goes ninety on the freeway to get to the school on time. 

He finds Nanami first, the glob of gel on his head somehow even worse than normal and sets his plan in motion. 

“Nanami.” 

“Please, for the love of god, not tod-” 

“Go hand this to Y/N.” 

Nanami and now Shoko are taking the walkie in their hands, flipping it over and inspecting it like they’re the fucking FBI. And more importantly, wasting time. 

Three feet away, you’re standing by the punch table, counting how many balloons are on the ceiling. You reach three hundred and fifteen when you’re approached for the first time that night, by Nanami and Shoko. 

“Nanami. What is going on with your hair? You can’t possibly need that much hair gel.”

“You would be shocked, Y/N.” 

“That's what I said to him too. But this is for you.” Shoko says.

She hands you your walkie talkie, the silver glitter coming off on your hand, as you flip it over. 

“Did you break into my house, Shoko?” 

“No. But I’m guessing Satoru did. He ran in here five minutes ago and basically yelled at us to give it to you.” 

They both shrug as they walk away and you look around, clutching the walkie talkie so hard in your hand you think you might break it. Satoru’s here.

And when you scan your eyes around the room, you see him at the front door, his eyes already fixed on yours. He’s smiling so big that it makes your heart squelch and suddenly you’re moving towards him. And as you both start walking (running) to each other, you can’t help but feel the anticipation of what’s coming. 

Except that’s right when Toji stands in the middle of the two of you, his characteristic slimy, sneer on his face. He reaches for your hand first. 

“Can we talk, Y/N?” 

"No."

You shrug your hand off, pushing right past him, as you walk closer to Satoru. You can hear Toji shouting something at you, but you’re too tunnel visioned on Satoru to pay attention. And when you reach him, you’re both smiling so big at each other, that it makes your face hurt. 

He lifts his walkie talkie to his mouth, talking first. 

“Come in, bunny?” 

“Loud and clear, Toru.” 

“I love you.” 

You can feel yourself smiling so big, so excited that you’re basically jumping on your toes, your walkie shaking in your hand. 

“I love you.” 

“Oh thank god. I was scared I was going to get a breaking and entering charge.”

You laugh, pulling him down by his tie and kissing him square on his face. And when he pulls away, ears pink and face red, you whisper against his lips. 

“It was always going to be you. I belong with you.” 

He smiles, that stupid smile you’ve stared at, loved for years and you can’t help but cheese, leaning forward to kiss him again.

--

the satoru as taylor swift songs series masterlist

taglist: @porridgesblog @platrom  @k0z3me  @kayleegomez  @yihona-san06  @bsenpai @sweetenertea  @skzismyhome  @mykyoon @violetmatcha @rebeccawinters  @luna0713hunter @shotenvinsoot @itzmeme @squirrelspoetry

[schoolmysteryno69]

META ANALYSIS - Mitsukou (part 1)

General topic - how they’re written as a one of the romantic couples in the story

Before I start, I need to say few things:

1. I’m not native english speaker. I’m probably going to make a lot of errors and mistakes, mix times, have a lacking vocabulary etc. Please be ready for it. I want to write my meta post anyway, so I would be happy if you will stay to the end with me!

2. If you do not like Mitsukou/hate this ship or anything like that - maybe this post it's not for you. It's totally okay to ship different thing and like different things, I don’t mind. My post is not a starter for a discussion tho, I’m not interested in discourses, argues and hate. I don’t really plan to “prove” anything to anyone or force you to change your mind, whole post is only MY analysis and my point of view. You are not obligated to feel the same way I feel, to see things the same way I see them. 

3. I’m not interested in proving if Mitsukou is going to ever be canon or anything. I don’t know that. I’m also not going to analyze if they’re ever going to be a CANON COUPLE or an ENDGAME COUPLE. It’s only about if they’re written as a romantic relationship, and being written as a romantic couple =/= being a canon couple, they’re a lot of pairs in media that definitely are written as a romantic relationship without them being together ever or being an endgame. I’m not going to speculate about endgame, especially when one of the characters is supernatural and one is a human. 

Okay, I think we can start now!

Let's start from the beginning. Because my first language is not english my post may be a little bit chaotic, putting all my thoughts in at least some order and with at least some sense it's actually hard, haha. In part 1 I will try to cover the first meeting between Kou and the ghost of Mitsuba.

So!

They first met during chapter 18. And it was meeting between Kou and ghost of a Mitsuba Sousuke, so it wasn’t our currently Mitsuba - it worth to mention they're not the same person, even if they are extremely similar, share a lot elements of their personalities, they look nearly the same, and current Mitsuba even share some dead Sousuke's memories because of School Mystery No. 4 Shijima Mei and her Picture Perfect arc. Still - not the same person and Mitsuba Kou met in chapter 18 is not the current Mitsuba. 

At the beginning they're not really that much written as a romantic, their short arc was more like something starting Kou’s personal arc and his development. He got some background, some motivation, some angst, he changed. For most part Kou behaved pretty normal, just like himself - a selfless, lively boy that really wanted to help a lonely, sad ghost that Mitsuba was. (he wasn’t traumatized yet). Even if some of their interaction could be readed with a shippy glasses, there wasn’t anything that was inherently romantic about them. 

I think it's kind of ironic how this is literally their first panel in the manga. Mitsuba literally looks like some kind of eldritch horror and he says “Did you forget about me?”. Yeah Kou, did you? This quite sums some elements of their arc. We know that Kou actually did forget about Mitsuba, who was one of his classmates. Also, Kous' trauma, related to everything that happened to Mitsuba, hunts him for the rest of the story. He also, clearly has a problem with recognition of both Mitsubas, with dealing with Ghost Mitsuba death and with the idea of forgetting someone and leaving someone. We also know that, when current!Mitsuba was made by Tsukasa, he didn’t remember Kou. That's why this quote here is very ironic. 

There is nothing really to analyze here but I find it funny. Yeah, you quite literally just haunted the wrong guy and it’s going to be a problem for you and said guy for the next 15 volumes of the manga. Good luck. 

Even after calling Mitsuba an “evil spirit” Kou still tries to help him and even decides to “take the big tough guy approach” to make Mitsuba feel safer about him. Kou is not really “the big tough guy”, even if he tries to pose as one. He is a 14 yo kid with kind of fucked up situation in life, even, if he doesn’t recognize it yet. 

Maybe you could learn something from Kous stupid earning, mr. boy who DIED in the car accident.

It's definitely not an accident that Mitsuba died hit by a car and Kou has a BIG earning with a big caption “TRAFFIC SAFETY”. Even after reading all chapters up to 103 I’m not really sure how I should interpret this exact symbolism in their relationship, but it's definitely done on purpose by the authors. I think it may symbolize that Kou, with a “traffic safety” earning will save Mitsuba, who previously died in a traffic accident from dying another time? Like, now Mitsuba have Kou by his side and maybe Kou will manage to keep him safe. His earning is mentioned by Mitsuba too many times, it's done so we can notice it, for sure. And I wonder how it turns out. 

It’s the first time Mitsuba suggests that Kou either has some kind of feelings toward him, tries to do something dirty towards him or something similar. Every time he just jokes or tries to provoke Kou or something like that. At first I thought it's just how Mitsuba is, some people love to joke like that, but then I noticed, later in the story, that Kou is quite literally the only person Mitsuba ever does this to. Sure he does not have many friends “his age” but still during the manga it would be possible for him to behave like that toward other characters, but he does not. He jokes like that only toward Kou and I think during the next parts of my writing I will point it out more.

Even after 20 minutes of insulting he is still concerned about Mitsuba. That's so funny and sweet. 

Yeeeaaah sure it totally does not relate in any way to the fact that ghost Motsuba got to die after taking a photo of KOU out of everything yeeeeaaaah nada nope. It's crazy how the authors planned this because Hanako really started as some kind of funny manga about kids and ghosts and supernatural things, but the angst we get later is actually top notch and kinda scary. There was few moments I really had to like, stand up and walk in my room because of the emotions I felt after reading.

Look how happy he is with the idea of being a model to the Mitsubas photos. He is bright, smiling and even blushing. The next ironic thing is how he cried after actually seeing a picture of himself made by Mitsuba. Also I like how prominent his earning is here.

Mitsuba is very particular, he really made pictures only of animals, plants and other non-human things. That's probably why his photo of Kou hit me like a train. That's literally narratively confirming that Mitsuba saw Kou as something (someone) he likes, someone that is important to him. Kou also realized it after seeing the picture, that was one of the reasons why he was so devastated.

There are few things about that whole scene I would like to point up. The first are doves. Mitsuba, especially Ghost Mitsuba, is often presented with doves as a form of his symbolism. Doves and cherry blossoms are probably the most prominent symbols of his character. I’m not really that good when it comes to symbols, but I think doves symbolize things like peace, but also some form of innocence/purity and love. Some sources also say about transformation and spirituality. I think one of the reasons for choosing doves is to symbolize how he didn’t deserve to die like that, that his soul is actually good and seeks for peace. In Kou’s eyes he is also someone innocent, definitely. Especially when we are talking about ghost Mitsuba at the beginning of a story. 

ALSO I’m pretty sure birds are foreshadowing to current!Mitsuba being made from the school mystery no. 3 who looked like a bird and who current!Mitsuba gained a lot of his characteristics from. Current!Mitsuba hair looks like feathers, his hand looks like talons etc. He is heavily associated with birds from the beginning. Even if Ghost!Mitsuba is associated with doves more and current!Mitsuba with ravens or crows. 

The next thing about this scene is Kou finally realizing he knew Mitsuba and it hit him. Understanding that Mitsuba actually KNEW Kou and it was Kou who didn’t remember him probably made him feel remorse and generally really bad about himself. That’s not a nice thing if you forget about a boy who was with you in a class, and the fact that ghost Mitsuba actually tried to talk to him and asked him “Did you forget about me”... It's hard for me to even imagine what Kou felt at that moment. 

Also, Mitsuba surely didn’t know about Kou being from an exorcist family, so he wouldn't expect that Kou will take direct action after meeting a ghost lol. If it comes to Mitsuba, I’m pretty sure it was very scary.

I wish we could see more of them like that. Just like two boys having fun with each other. I love angst, trust me. But I think they deserve rest and to just have a chance to play and talk a be… normal for once. Everytime when they get a chance to have fun they’re cute and hilarious together. 

Rain can symbolize sadness and hard emotions soooo yeah, I’m not surprised it started raining. I think it sort of symbolizes feelings of both Kou and Mitsuba here.

They’re going to the third floor and I’m sure it's foreshadowing to Mitsuba becoming a School Mystery no. 3. 

I’m still impressed how much foreshadowing is during their first meeting (chap 18-20). Like the birds, nr 3, traffic safety earning, motif of remembering/forgetting etc. You could also think that photography would be something like that but… it's not. Photography becomes a thing that is helping recognizing human/ghost Mitsuba from current supernatural Mitsuba. They’re similar but not the same person. Photos were one of the main characteristics of the original Mitsuba, both in this arc and during a moment with Mitsubas mother later. It was always about photos, but it's never about photos when it comes to our current Mitsuba.

Yeah, that kind of explains why Kou didn’t remember him immediately, even after seeing how Mitsuba looks and hearing his surname he should know. Because, like, Kou should remember him, they were in the same class, sit close to each other etc. But the mask that Mitsuba created was so strong that made him nearly imperceptible (like, you know, a ghost hah) and at this point tbh I don’t think Mitsuba liked it very much. He is actually a pretty bold and cocky person and all of this probably bugged him. Of course he wasn’t bullied, but was it worth becoming somebody different, somebody boring and bland to others? I think there is some form of regret. But also I don’t think that ALL of this was a mask, because Mitsuba definitely has some of a calmer and more sweet side to himself, he showed it a lot of times.

He tries to fix it up by recognizing him now for who he is. With both his positive and negative aspects, even if he points out mostly his flaws. Still, this is the Mitsuba he met, the Mitsuba he knows and the Mitsuba he IS GOING TO remember. Mitsuba he befriended now. It actually means a lot for Sousuke. He is dead, he may have thought that it's the end for him and for all of his relationships he ever had. Its funny how Mitsuba said he is a ghost because he still wanted to do photos, but the truth is he wanted relationships, but the true ones. Not based on his “fake” nice self, but on real him with all his flaws and that's why he haunted other students rather than just… go do photos or something. He tried to connect to others, because he subconsciously thought relationships and friends he had when he lived weren’t really true and real. It’s ironic how it resembles the current!Mitsuba in Picture Perfect act. 

Kou started to realize who Mitsuba was and how tragic his situation was, he started to empathize. Kou has a martyr complex, so he wanted to help Mitsuba any way he could. It was also shown that he does LIKE Mitsuba even with his twisted personality, Kou said it himself and it surely means a lot for Mitsuba who wasn’t liked before for his true personality. That was probably the moment Mitsuba felt a real bond towards Kou and become attached to him. 

And Kou even blushed a few times.That would still be read as platonic and sweet tho!. I think it was, personally. The most important thing during their first meeting was, of course, how it ended, because, in my opinion, it was a moment when most (not all tho) Kou's mental problems started. There was still his family, of course. Teru loves Kou very much, but still his mentality and behavior was a root for Kou’s low self esteem and some other elements of his personality, tho I think it may be a topic for a whole different post.

In this small arc, in my opinion, the moment that was the beginning of me perceiving them as written as one of the couples, a romantic relationship was this exact moment:

“I don’t know… maybe something important to me?” 

And also a moment when Kous saw this picture for the first time, when he developed photos, and how this cracked him.

Generally, becoming friends with Mitsuba was very important to Kou. Not only because he wanted to help him (and, internally, also making Kou feel better about himself) but also it was probably the first time when… Kou may feel somewhat special? He always was in the shadow of Teru, he wasn’t an “official” exorcist, he wasn't going to missions in the town, he wasn’t very strong (Hanako literally KO’ed him without a sweat and Kou couldn't do much to Hanako), the girl he got a small crush on (Nene) clearly had something with Hanako… Kou was always pushed back and now, with Mitsuba, he made an actually special relationship between the only two of them. He felt NEEDED, and we all know how much Kou desperately needs to feel NEEDED. In his own mind, he was the only one that could help Mitsuba and that understood Mitsuba, that's why Mitsubas ghost death was so hard for him. He finally got something special for himself and he couldn't even protect it and he let lonely, poor ghost tragically vanish. That's some trauma for you.

I’m not going to write much about Mitsubas feelings there because it was Sousuke Mitsubas feelings - and currently I’m going to focus more on a School Mystery Mitsuba. Tho Sousuke definitely perceived Kou and his help as something special to him. That's where their fated bond started. 

“You can help me develop them tomorrow and then… I think I’ll be okay”.

Yet we can’t see his eyes when he speaks, and that suggests he thinks something different that what he speaks. Not showing eyes is a common motif to show that a character is lying or saying something he does not think or hiding something. Here is just like that - it’s not about photos, it's about KOU. It’s because of Kou he is going to be okay, not because of the photos he took today. Something changed for Mitsuba when Kou recognized him for someone he actually is and wanted to become friends with him. For Mitsuba it means a lot because when he was alive he couldn’t get true friends and real relationships with others. 

Yeah walk walk trauma baby. I know I mention  ‘trauma” a lot when it comes to Kou, but the whole manga is like a one big parade of traumas for this boy and it's not even funny. I’m not surprised he is starting to become more and more insane with every next arc. Especially in the Night Out small arc we can clearly see how detached from actual reality Kou starts to be and how he stops recognizing differencs between supernatural and real word, good and evil, selfless and selfish behavior etc. It’s all the result of the traumatic situations he was put in for like 16 volumes straight. And he is bearing it A LOT WORSE than Nene is.

Ouch. 

“You wished for people remembering you but now youre happy with just a one person?” That hits hard but also I’m angry at Tsukasa, like leave that boy alone.Even one person can make a change in someones life, and thats what Mitsuba felt at a moment. For Kou he was someone, he was real, he had a personality, Kou recognized him and that gives him a true sense of identity. For him it was enough

You met like half of a day before and you are calling him your friend and fighting for him with an unknown dangerous supernatural who looks exactly like your other friend. Bruh that's some dedication. Kou is desperate to save Mitsuba, but Kou is generally desperate to be a savior. He tries to “save” Nene a lot of times even if it’s not really necessary, because Nene also has other friends and people who support her and is pretty clever and capable of bearing problems on her own (most of the time). Yet Kou still treats Nene like some damsel in distress that need his protection when it's CLEARLY not like that. Sadly, Kou mostly fails anyway. He fails now with Mitsuba and if it comes to Nene, if she needs saving, the person who (usually) saves her is Hanako. Kou rarely has something he can actually do and it's cracking him up mentally.

Yeah, “I’m supernatural who grants wishes” not “I’m a ghost of a boy who once lived in this town”. Yeah. It was right here from the beginning.

I just hope it’s not a form of foreshadowing.

His last words were “Minamoto-kun”, it's so sad. On this last panel he actually looked a little brighter than on the previous panel of his transformation, and that's because he looked at Kou. 

I need to say, seeing a person you treat important to you and calling a friend dying in a horrible way and hearing their last words being your name must be pretty stressful. It would probably haunt me for a long time and I’m sure Kou is still affected by it.

On the 20 chapter cover Mitsuba is together with the rest of the main squad (Nene, Hanako, Kou). It was pretty weird back then - he literally died and looks like he was going to be a one-arc character that started Kous character development, but this cover was a hint that it's going to be different and Mitsuba, probably, is going to play a whole different role in the story. He, also, had a hand around Kous head and nearly touched his hair gently - its a symbol of intimacy. 

That was a proof how strong, narratively, their relationship is and is going to be during the progression of a story. And, in my opinion, a foreshadowing to Mitsubas feelings. Because I think currently, our Mitsuba is aware of his feelings toward Kou, but I’m going to cover this topic a little bit later. 

On this cover there is a lot more symbolism,especially with Hanako and his role in the story, but it's also a thing for a whole different post. 

What Tsukasa said was that Mitsubas wish was ‘“ want to stay with my friends forever and ever”.

That’s literally what I said earlier. 

It’s a recurring topic with current!Mitsuba and his relationship with Kou.  Mitsuba feels lonely and… Kou also feels lonely. Even if he has a brother, father and friends (Nene and Hanako and other school friends) Kou is incredibly lonely because of his inferiority complex. He desperately needed to be needed, needed to be special to someone, needed to be important to someone, and that person was Mitsuba. Right now, he is the most important person to Mitsuba and that's both good and very bad for Kou. Good because he finally feels like someone important and someones one and only, but bad because of how traumatic his relationship with Mitsuba is to him and how unhealthy it is. And by it I don’t mean  they’re toxic or bad people - they are kids who want to be loved and who want to have their place in the world. But Mitsuba is a monster, he is a supernatural, whos life is stained away by his instinct, who needs to eat other monsters and who does not really… have any actual bright future and Kou is traumatized boy with low self estem, problems with his selfworth, with martyr complex and some sort of suicidal tendencies. They have a lot to work out.

Kou is going to be a supernatural / is going to try to be a supernatural / is going to be forced to be supernatural - hint number one. 

Yes, I will go back to this topic, because I’m literally scared of it so much. It's prominent during the whole story that Kou is foreshadowed to have a plotline related to becoming supernatural in some way. And when this topic is touched it's usually related to his plotline with Mitsuba. I’m kind of scared of HOW it’s going to happen or if it’s going to be only a try or Kou really will become supernatural in some way. But it's too much of a recurring topic of Kous WHOLE character arc to not being important and to not happen. It's even hard to call it foreshadowing, its literal hints everywhere. 

Kou spent with Mitsuba literally… one day, outside of being in the same class for a while (Kou didn’t even remember this time THAT much, time they spend together this day was more important) and yet he CLINGED SO HARD to the idea that Mitsuba is his “friend”. He desperately needed to be wanted, needed, to have a special bond, to being able to help, to save someone. And yet he lost Mitsuba at this moment, he couldn't do shit to save him, he was absolutely… just useless during a fight. It affected him a lot. 

During the scene when Hanako “kills” Mitsuba, there are sakura petals. They’re heavily associate with Mitsuba and are one of his symbols:

This scene, narratively was a scene that said to us he is GONE. For good. It was a “goodbye” for him and Kou, he is dead. That's all. At this point we couldn't know we are going to meet current!Mitsuba, so we could thing that is the end of Mitsuba and the beginning of a Kous arc. And… it was both of these things but in the whole DIFFERENT meaning. Of course it was goodbye to the Sousuke, he is dead, he can’t come back. Of course it was a beginning for Kous development. But… it was also a beginning for our current!Mitsuba, for slowly progressing Kous insanity as an effect of his trauma and the beginning for Mitsuba and Kous actual arc and relationship. We thought it was the end but it was actually the beginning that changed… the whole Kou, to be honest.

I think it's related not only to Mitsuba but to Hanako, too. Imagine what Hanako could feel at that moment. He is a ghost and a supernatural who know how doomed he is and he only protects school and Nene. But Kou said it's bullshit and clearly believes in what he says. Sadly, Hanako is so stubborn.

One of the symbols related to Kou is a lion. Lions may symbolize a lot of things, like strength, courage but also - protection. Just like Kou tries to protect everyone and tries to be strong and courageous for others. I actually think it suits him quite well. Lions also symbolize the sun and it was shown a few times that Kou is like a sun to Mitsuba.

At some point of a story he is definitely going to do some crazy shit I’m telling you. He really tries to believe that he can find a way to change how the world works and it can end up good but.. it can also end up INCREDIBLY BAD. It’s not that good to mess up with life and death and when you cross up a border there is no coming back. With every arc the manga is becoming a little bit more dark and serious with topic it shows and och boy I’m kind of scared for Kou and Mitsuba.

You can literally hear me crying. It was probably the first moment in the manga that actually had any impact on me, I was really like… I had to stand and walk for a bit before reading. Kou sees a photo of himself and remembers Sousuke saying “Who knows? Maybe something important to me?” and starting crying was like. I wanted to cry too. I can’t even imagine what Kou felt at this moment, it was probably absolutely heartbreaking. 

This small arc finished with chapter 20.During the next arc, Kou, already  affected by Mitsubas death, gets to know that Nene also has a shortened lifespan and it's going to die very shortly. That wasn’t too good for his mental state and he literally fixated on a goal in saving her. When Kou learned about Nene’s situation, Hanako even related it to Mitsubas situation, so we can clearly understand these two examples are related to Kou. He doesn’t want this situation to happen again.

“Just like with this boy, there is nothing you can do” - Hanako you little shit

But yeah. Again Kou understands how useless he is. How weak he is, how he can’t save anyone the way he is. How he could do nothing about Mitsubas situation and how he can’t do nothing about Nene’s situation. That's tragic. And it's clear Kou doesn’t know what to do about it. Thats why, when current!Mitsuba appeared, he started to find such a ridiculous (and unhealthy) solutions to Mitsubas (and Kous) problems. He don't know what to do but desperately needs to do… something. Anything. To help, to be important. 

It's sad. He said he dont know what he is gonna do, but HE WILL DO SOMETHING. And yet… we know how it all goes for him. He is a brave kid, who is determined and wants others to be happy and alive. 

He even tried to stop a kiss between Hanako and Nene after reading Nenes book and failed. He always fails.

There is also an special page

It is titled “Love stories” that should be about Mitsuba. And it contains both Mitsuba and Kou. It's just a joke, but I need to point out that Mitsuba generally wasn’t shown to be interested in any girl during the progression of the story or never talked about it in general. He also does not crush on Nene, even when both Hanako and Kou felt something toward her at some point in the story.He also talks about how cute he is A LOT and I’m going to say something about it someday, but not now.

I think it's enough for part 1! I think I covered everything I wanted for their first meeting. Let's see at Mitsubas resurrection in the Hell of Mirrors!

[bots-and-cons]

I’m on a top gun bender 😂 do you mind writing for tfp starscream, dreadwing, and megatron finding out their human s/o is a top gun pilot after seeing a report on her latest mission on the news. (A mission like the Top Gun Maverick one).

So I kinda read this wrong the first time, I read it as “ I’m a top gun bender” as in like a water bender or an airbender like in Avatar: The last airbender. Which just made me imagine them bending a fighter jet or something, which I found incredibly funny for some reason. I haven’t seen the movie but I do remember seeing trailers about it, I kinda just made up stuff that I thought would fit this so eeeehhh. The Dreadwing ended up very short compared to the other two but oh well

~Megatron~

•Megatron isn’t really interested in what’s going on with humans, since it doesn’t really affect him that much, but Soundwave keeps an eye on what’s going on around the world anyway and reports to him when he deems it necessary

•So when Soundwave happens to catch your mission on the news he of course reports it to Megatron because he recognized your squadron’s jets on the background of the news footage

•Megatron is pretty much in disbelief, because you had never told him about what line of work you were in, and to be fair, he had never really asked

•When you come to the Nemesis the next time, you can basically sense his annoyance as soon as you walk out the ground bridge

•He was there waiting for you and he confronted you right away

•The first thing he asked you was if you were a spy, because now he knew you worked for the army

•He was quite angry and you were a bit scared but you were much more annoyed

•There isn’t really sense in arguing with Megatron, when he decides you’ve done something wrong, he’s pretty difficult to convince otherwise

•It took a while, but you convinced him you were telling the truth, as you were, and he asked “What do you do then?”

•You explained to him that you were a pilot, which got his attention and you didn’t really explain any further

•”So you fly fighter jets?” he asked, now a little bit interested and having pretty much forgotten about his previous doubts of you spying on him

•Megatron was actually quite interested in your work and what you did, so he asked a lot of questions

•He got the great idea that you two could fly together after you were dona talking and while you figured it might be a bit hard to “borrow” one of your squadron’s seekers you agreed

•So one early evening, when it was still light outside, you snuck into the hangar at the base where you worked and off you went

•It was actually quite a lot of fun to fly with someone who had such incredibly over their flying

•Megatron literally is a jet so he has much more delicate control over himself than you ever could over a simple machine

•It’s a lot of fun, and while you do get into a bit of trouble from your commanding officer later it was totally worth it

•You knew you wouldn’t get fired or anything like that anyway, you’re the best pilot they’ve got so they can’t really afford to let you go

•You have to squeeze it out of him, but Megatron also admits he enjoyed himself quite a lot

~Starscream~

•Starscream wasn’t exactly ecstatic when he saw you being interviewed about your job, because that’s how he found out about what you do for work

•He didn’t really even think you could be a spy, that never really crossed his mind, because that would mean you would’ve managed to deceive him and he hadn’t caught it

•There’s also all the stuff about him thinking you would never betray him, because he doesn’t want to think you would ever do that to him

•Aaanyway, Starscream asks you about it when you come to the Nemesis later and you’re like “Oh, where did you hear that? I mean it’s true, but how did you find out?”

•He tells you Knockout showed him a news piece and you’re like “Yeah… that”

•You explain to him what you do and he definitely takes interest when he hears you fly fighter jets

•Starscream is of course like “I’d wager I fly better than you” with a very self assured smirk

•To his surprise you don’t take the bait and just go “Well yeah, you literally are a jet so you should be better at it than me”

•Starscream takes this as compliment, but he still asks if you’d like to prove him wrong

•You’re like “Sure I can try”

•This is all a ploy, because you’re very confident in your flying abilities and just want to lull him into a false sense of security and shock him

•This works quite well and when you go flying with him, he’s shocked by your abilities

•Like the control you seem to have over this machine is so precise and delicate, he’s honestly shocked

•He’s just left hovering there for a moment as you fly off

•You’re talking over the comms but Starscream went silent so you got worried and turned back

•It pretty much turns into a chase and you’re both having a ton of fun, which Starsream would of course not admit to, at least not without a bit of playful whining from you

~Dreadwing~

•You’d told Dreadwing about your job with pretty broad strokes, so he didn’t exactly know what you did, other than you worked for the army

•When he found out you were a pilot he told you he was quite impressed

•He’s always been a bit weirded out by the fact that flying is sort of hard for humans, like on their bodies and such 

•He’s always enjoyed it and he finds it an easy way to clear his head

•You tell him it’s pretty much the same for you, when you’re not on actual missions and are just training I mean

•You actually end up talking more about how great flying is, rather than the specifics of your job

•But Dreadwing is very impressed by your skills nonetheless, especially when he eventually sees you actually fly

[ridiasfangirlings]

I've been having a series of weird dreams where I'm Saruhiko. Today was no different. In my dream, Saruhiko was computer pet, you know, those that are supposed to help you with computer tasks and that are also Spywares? Yeah, and the one owning the computer was Yata.

Imagine like future AU where there are like all these virtual ‘assistants’ that you can purchase to help you with various tasks, kinda like in Chobits. Yata isn’t very good at computers but he needs one for his part time job so he decides to get an assistant that specializes in computer tasks, since you can just plug the terminal into the computer and you’ll have your own little virtual pet right on your desktop who can do things for you. Most assistants are really expensive though so Yata ends up at this like kinda shady place that was suggested to him by one of his friends, Kusanagi, who runs a bar near Yata’s place and lets Yata do odd jobs for him. Yata gets a little confused by the instructions since he accidentally spilled soda on them though but he thinks he must be in the right place, he did end up at a junk shop after all. The only guy in the shop at the counter isn’t paying attention at all and Yata ends up picking up this little robot penguin. The shop guy doesn’t remember where that one came from but yeah it’s probably good with computers, just give me whatever you think it’s worth. 

So Yata takes home his little penguin robot, he thinks it’s actually kinda cute in a weird way with its nerdy blocky glasses. It came with a cord to charge and another one to connect it to the computer so that’s what Yata does, the penguin opens its eyes and a little virtual person with glasses that match the penguin’s appears on his screen. Yata’s proud that he got it to work and to his surprise the virtual assistant makes a small sound like ‘tch’ and says it wasn’t hard, you just had to plug in a cord. Yata can’t believe his own virtual assistant is talking back to him. When he clicks on the screen a little box saying ‘Fushim1’ opens above the character’s head so Yata figures that must be his name, and he tells Fushimi to help him first with cleaning out this old PC Yata got secondhand. Fushimi makes the ‘tch’ noise again and says Yata must be really useless at computers, if he bought one as bad as this. Fushimi can tell that the whole thing is virus ridden and what kind of idiot buys a computer without checking for malware first. Yata’s all well that’s what I bought you for and Fushimi rolls his eyes as a little broom pops into his hand and he says Yata’s lucky Fushimi finds the code of the virus just interesting enough to play with.

 Fushimi fixes up the computer and Yata’s all impressed, so he did get the coolest virtual assistant after all. Fushimi actually looks almost happy about that, or at least Yata thinks, but it’s hard to tell and anyway were these virtual assistants even supposed to have expressions. Yata assumes this must just be how they are and doesn’t think about it until his friend Kamamoto stops by and hears Yata arguing with his computer, Yata’s like yeah my virtual assistant is kinda hard to deal with. Kamamoto looks confused and says the virtual assistants are supposed to do whatever you ask without question and he’s never heard of one being difficult (or gloomy, or ‘an annoying bastard in glasses,’ as Yata keeps complaining). Yata’s like huh mine isn’t like that at all, he tries asking Fushimi about it but when he does Fushimi’s face suddenly goes blank and he says ‘classified’ in this unnaturally flat voice. Yata wonders if he could go back to the shop and ask but remembers the guy there didn’t recognize the penguin either, he decides to look at the penguin terminal but all he finds is a barcode with ‘Saruhiko’ above it. Maybe after this Fushimi starts glitching a little and Yata’s suddenly worried about losing him, even knowing that this should just be a virtual pet and nothing more, and he decides he needs to find out the truth behind Fushimi’s origin.

[kujo1597]

Oh geeze. I didn’t mean for it to take this long to do another one of these. I’ve actually been dealing with persistent vertigo for... over three weeks. Kind of made me not really want to spend too much time at the computer. (But for some reason it did make me finally get around to playing Cyber Shadow.) Don’t worry about the vertigo thing by the way, it’s likely due to lack of sleep.

Well anyway. Let’s pick up from where we left off.

Oh yeah, everything is on fire.

Everybody manages to evacuate the burning building but we see Ashley run off towards the inferno. After doing a quick head count Jerrica notices that Ashley was missing and then sees the girl running out the house while holding the Honor Jar.

Naturally Jerrica tells Ashley that she is worth more than all the money in the world.

The fire crew arrives and they put out the fire. Although there really wasn’t much house left to save.

Sooooo....

This bird is dead.

Poor thing.

We see everybody wrapped up in blankets sitting on their lawn before Rio shows up. After a hug he assures Jerrica that everything will be okay. So, I will say this here. In the early episodes of the show Rio is actually a very solid guy. I don’t really have a problem with him at this point. I’ll talk more about Rio and his evolution into my least favourite Jem character over the course of this series.

Let’s put the Rio ramble to the side for now.

The Misfits arrive at the scene shortly after him, I wonder if the fire was on the news, and Pizzazz and Roxy gawk at the fire, Stormer stares too but she really seems like she feels bad for the people who just lost their home. Pizzazz on the other hand says, “Couldn’t have happened to a better person” in a very uncaring way. Class act.

Deirdre being twelve and homeless asks Jerrica a very good question. Where are they going to live now?

Jerrica’s answer, Howard Sands’ mansion he’s put up as the winnings for the battle of the bands competition. She asks the girls if they want to help Jem and The Holograms put on a concert. And then Jerrica and her sisters load up in the Starlight Express and drive off to meet Synergy. Rio takes the children to Howard’s house in his van.

We get an exciting chase scene where the Misfits follow Jerrica and The Holograms and using Synergy to transform the car into a garbage bin they lose their rivals. But only temporarily as Stormer notices Rio’s van and they start to follow him.

Yep, totally inconspicuous. Good job Synergy. Well, to be fair, this is a drive-in theatre. But it’s also one that’s been shut down for years. Soooo... yeah.

After a quick change of clothes our titular band heads on over to Howard’s house that he lives in to wake him up with a concert.

To be honest, I’m not the biggest fan of this song. Can’t really put my finger on it. I think it goes on for too long. The songs in these first five episodes are a minute thirty long and get kind of repetitive. But later on when the songs are better written I'd love it if they were longer than a minute.

Anyway, Howard gets woken up by the impromptu concert and rushes out of his home to see why there are twelve kids on his lawn, seventeen if we’re considering Jerrica an older teen at this point in the series.

The Misfits climb out of their van and starting booing Jem and Pizzazz announces that they’re going to make trouble. Rio warns Jem who sneaks off to change into Jerrica. But Stormer is sent by Pizzazz to follow Jem around. Jem hides behind a bush and summons a hologram of Jem who just fucking, sprints towards the mansion. I wish I could make GIFs because she’s so fast! It’s awesome.

Meanwhile Kimber tells Howard that her sister will explain the situation.

Jerrica gets away from Stormer and joins up with everybody else who are arguing about the fact that one of the bands in the competition has just crashed Howard’s living quarters. Jerrica tells him about Starlight House burning down.

And we get another moment showing that Stormer might not be that bad of a person. She tears up while listening to the story. Roxy elbows her in the gut though putting a stop to it.

Naturally the Misfits oppose to the idea of Jerrica living in the winnings with all her children and Howard’s like, “I still own the mansion. I’m giving Jerrica the keys.” because he probably doesn’t want to leave sixteen or eighteen people without a place to live. I know I keep putting an emphasis on how many people lived in Starlight House but it’s an awful lot. It was a pretty big house though.

Anyway, Pizzazz hates this decision and pushes Howard into a pool, then Roxy steals a bulldozer and starts running things over. Then Jerrica tries pulling Howard out of the pool and ends up

flying like, ten feet through the air and into the path of a runaway bulldozer. I had to post the GIF because it’s just *chef’s kiss* So good.

Cut to commercial before we see Jerrica get plowed over.

Rio does save her though and they do a pretty good job of showing how in love they are. Like I said! Rio was perfectly fine in these episodes! They’re actually kind of sweet together.

Aja manages to leap into the bulldozer and turns it off before anything else could happen.

Then the Misfits speed off in their van and judging by the animation give Rio’s van a nice scrape.

Howard being understandably mad at them says that he’ll do what he can to help Jem and The Holograms. But if the Misfits do win the contest they do still get to keep the mansion.

Now we cut to Starlight Music where the Misfits are complaining to Eric and he tells them that he’s doing everything he can to keep them from getting sued by Howard.

They take this well and trash the office before going to the mansion. Meanwhile Eric phones Zipper and tells him he has another job to do.

Here’s our first look at the mansion Howard put up as a prize. It has a pool which takes away the sting of losing everything. I adore how Kimber is just as excited as the younger girls to look around their new home.

Rio buzzes in and tells Jerrica that he’s here with a camera crew for their magazine shoot for an article on up and coming rock groups. The crew comes into the courtyard and Zipper manages to sneak in before the gates close.

We see a scene inside the mansion where Ashley says to Lela and Becky that she shouldn’t still be held accountable for the money she stole from the Honor Jar because they’re now living in a home that isn’t falling apart. But she’s told that she still owes them money. And Ashley makes the point that she saved the Honor Jar from burning in the fire. But Lela tells her that doesn’t make up for stealing it. And honestly Lela, I think saving the couple hundred bucks in the jar does make up for stealing thirty. Ashley is understandably frustrated. She heads outside and sees an opportunity to make some money.

The Misfits are complaining about not being able to stay in the mansions and Pizzazz is saying how badly she wants through the gate. So Ashley tells them that she’ll let them in if they give her thirty bucks. Stormer ends up having to pay because she’s a bit of a pushover.

After Ashley runs off to open the gate we see Zipper sneak into a room.

Now we get a very fun music video. Click Clash which is performed by both of this season’s bands. I really like whenever they do this. The mix of musical styles is so interesting.

After the music video we see Zipper hide a bomb in the couch.

He’s very good at his job.

Eric arrives on the scene and warns Pizzazz and Roxy about the bomb. Not Stormer though, I guess she’s too nice for his liking.

Then the bomb goes off.

JESUS! I forgot about that! Let’s add this to our “Kimber almost dies horribly count.” Yeah it’s a recurring thing for my favourite character. Hm. Maybe that’s why I hit her with a car.

The police and press shortly arrive on the scene. They ask Eric how he knew about the bomb and he claims he got an anonymous phone call from a fan of Jem and The Holograms saying that they’re going to blow up the Misfits. Jem apologizes to Howard and he tells her that he doesn’t believe Eric’s story for even a minute.

As thanks Jem offers to help clean up the mess. And Rio runs up to the group asking where Jerrica is. One quick hologram of Jerrica waving from the top floor later and Rio is satisfied.

Then suddenly a blonde woman appears, she is Howard’s friend Countess Danielle Du Voisin, he introduces her to his new favourite band and she invites them over to a party on he yacht. Then after her invitation is enthusiastically accepted she bumps into the Misfits who are less than charming. And the countess tells them that they’re not invited. I wouldn’t be surprised if Howard told her about the mess they caused earlier in the morning.

Jem gets rid of the Misfits in a fun way by asking them to help clean up the rubble.

And then we cut to the yacht.

Everybody climbs onboard and frankly, Kimber is severely under dressed. I love the outfit but it’s not really one for a back tie party. Oh, and Rio says that he wishes Jerrica could have come along, Jem tells him that Jerrica asked her to show him a good time.

And now we see the party on the yacht. It’s full of movers and shakers in the entertainment industry. Including Lindsey Pierce who I’m quite fond of.

By the way, the music that’s playing makes me wonder about the production. I recognize it as a song from episode 9. So it must have been added in after they stitched together the shorts. I suppose it’s also possible that it was included with one of the Jem fashion dolls or a playset but I don’t recall “We Can Make a Difference” being included with anything. But I also haven’t looked up the entire list of cassettes. I wonder what was playing in the Super Sunday airing during this shot, if anything.

Back to the show. Lindsey introduces Jem to a cinematographer, Anthony Julian who Shana is very attracted to. So Jem played wingman and told Anthony that he should really be talking to Shana about the music video.

Then we cut to the Misfits sitting in a speedboat looking at the yacht and plotting to crash the party. As you do.

So, something interesting about Roxy here is that she has a heart tattoo near her armpit. That tattoo is the result of the person making the model sheet misreading the artwork Roxy’s outfit is based off of. There was a shape used to indicate shading but because the sketch was in black and white this shape was misinterpreted as a heart. So Roxy ended up with a tattoo. I honestly do kind of wish she got to keep it. Oh well.

Now we see some romance, Anthony’s talking to Shana and is shocked that her group doesn’t have any backing from a record company. And then we cut to Jem and Rio. I don’t know what exactly went through Jerrica’s mind here, but as Jem she asked Rio if he likes her. And Rio says that he hardly even knows her. Jem says that maybe she should tell Rio who she is and then leans in for a kiss.

And then cue The Misfits cackling and spraying seltzer on the upcoming love triangle involving two people.

They tear up the party and even cause a guy to get pied so hard he’s sent to the Shadow Realm.

The countess complains about their presence and the Misfits run off and enter the ship’s control room where they mess with some dials and send the yacht onto a crash course with a gigantic ship.

Well, this was episode 2 of Jem. Things really got crazy in this one. Somehow more crazy than a lantern causing a fire that engulfed fairly big house.

I actually don’t have too many final thoughts on the episode. It was just really fun. Jem’s a very fun show.

[trans-luis-serra-navarro]

Trigger warning: pretty in-depth discussions about death under the cut!!!!!

Idk why I’ve been mulling over Luis’ death so much but I feel like I’ve come to,,,,,,,, s o m e kind of realisation/conclusion that. Goddamn. Death is a hard to nail subject huh

Like we’re so used to death being the ultimatum; we’re so used to the western ideals brought on by Catholicism and Christianity and capitalism that death is the final destination and after that there’s nothing so therefor you should fear it but like.

Death is SO different in every single culture- it means something so completely different to every single human being on earth yet we’ve all experienced it. Death is all around us and death is interpreted as something entirely unique to every unique person and their experiences and their culture and upbringing and it’s like

How do we view Luis’ death if death is such a personable subject???? Do we view it in the context of the intended western audience, and our view on death being the ultimatum?? Do we view in from an in-universe perspective and treat it as a tragedy and a sad confirmation for Luis that his toxic catholic upbringing was right and death IS the only way to repent????? Do we take that and roll with it and view it from the other characters narrative perspectives; how it functions to continue Leon’s character arc or Ada’s motives????? Do we view it as cathartic as other cultures do, or do we view it from a specifically Spanish point of view?????? Do we view it through the eyes of Capcom; who both are in this for the money but also clearly wanted to tell such an inate and human and deep story that it’s impossible to ignore that??????

How do we view something as complex as death when death means something so entirely different to everyone???????? How can we make a definitive statement on Luis’ death aside from the obvious inherent tragedy when, in theory, his death will mean something totally different to every person who will watch it (And hopefully they’ll have as much grace and consideration as I’m trying to give him)

I think the ONLY takes that I can say with confidence are just,,,,, r e a l l y incorrect Are people who say his death was deserved or that he was only ever doing what he did for himself and that he was selfish. Luckily I’ve only ever really seen this sentiment from cishet white macho dudebro re fans but still BCNSHSNSJS

And before you cry ‘yoUrE rEaDInG tOo fAr IntO thIS’ first of all,,,,,, yeah that’s the point of this blog BXBEHENEHDNXHXJ but also,,,,,, do you not find beauty in being able to find deeper meaning in characters like this??????? Do you not think we as humans should all use characters and fiction as a means to explore topics we otherwise couldny like this??????? Why should MY take on a character be worth any less because it’s ‘going too deep’ or maybe wasn’t what the game was DIRECTLY intending?????? Do my takes mean anything less because of that??? No!!!!!! I’d argue they mean more because it makes me think deeper about things and feel deeper about things I wouldn’t have otherwise!!!!!!!!!!!

Anyways. Any Unus Annus fans in the crowd????????????

[cuddlepilefics]

Jiung (P1H) Vertigo (short)

Jiung could tell it wouldn’t be his day the second he woke up that morning. His head felt heavy, a tension headache spreading up from the back of his neck. Lifting his head off the pillow seemed so incredibly difficult, he wasn’t sure if it was really worth it. Maybe if he just stayed very still, Keeho wouldn’t notice him and the others would just leave without him. Jiung knew that it was wishful thinking but he didn’t think he’d have the energy to face the day ahead.

Just as he had expected, Keeho didn’t miss him and was there to remind him he’d be running late if he didn’t get up very soon. Apparently, everyone else was already dressed, some having breakfast while others were brushing their teeth. Now that he thought about it, he had already procrastinated getting up for a while. How was he not running late yet?

As soon as Jiung sat up, he was hit by an intense wave of vertigo, that almost knocked him off his bed. He sat still for a moment, the uncontrollable spinning slowing down as long as he didn’t move. When he did convince himself to get up, he did so cautiously and tried his best not to move his head too much for the fear of setting his vertigo in motion again. No, he was most definitely not feeling well but he also wasn’t really sick, so there was no reason for him to mention it to the other members. Besides, why mention it if he wasn’t going to miss any schedule anyways? Just to worry them?

“Finally!”, Keeho exclaimed exasperatedly when Jiung shuffled out to the kitchen to grab a bite for breakfast though he couldn’t really find his appetite. That was also why he only grabbed an apple before plopping down in his seat. Taeyang gave him a concerned look, quietly humming: “You feeling alright today?” Giving a small nod, which Jiung instantly regretted, he breathed: “Tension headache again. Might have slept in an odd position.” – “Sorry to hear”, the oldest smiled sympathetically. He knew how his friend’s neck could get so incredibly tense and sore, that he suffered from intense headaches, which could occasionally leave him unable to focus.

While Jiung got ready to leave, Taeyang prepared some coffee for him and slipped the box of painkillers into his bag. He hadn’t expected the younger to stumble out of the bathroom like that. Luckily, Intak had been standing close by and managed to catch Jiung’s arm, helping him regain his balance. “Are you okay, hyung”, the rapper frowned, hesitant to let go. Not daring to move his head, Jiung mumbled: “Yeah. Yeah, I’m okay.” – “I don’t think you are”, Taeyang sighed softly as he made his way over and took the other’s hand, “Let’s sit down for a moment.”

Taeyang guided Jiung to the couch and made him sit before feeling his forehead. “I’m not sick”, the younger argued but his voice sounded tired. He was tired. The effort of sitting upright drained his energy fast. Burying his face in his head, he muttered: “It’s one of the worse ones. My equilibrium is all messed up and it feels like the floor is moving.” – “Then why didn’t you speak up?”, Taeyang whispered, waving Keeho over to them, “We have a full day of dance practice. There’s no way you can participate in that.”

Jiung couldn’t handle the additional attention when Keeho joined them, tears burning his eyes. Seeing the boy on the verge of tears, the leader calmly took a seat next to him and wrapped his arm around the other’s shoulders. Keeho’s brows furrowed as he realized how stiff Jiung was, so he breathed: “What’s going on, hm? You haven’t been acting like yourself at all this morning.” The leader’s calm and understanding tone was all it took for Jiung to break down. Soothingly rubbing the boy’s back, Keeho looked at Taeyang for an explanation.

“His neck is troubling him”, the oldest explained softly, “Already woke up with a tension headache and vertigo.” – “That’s why you had such a hard time getting up”, Keeho realized, only getting a suppressed sob in reply, “Why didn’t you say anything?” – “I’m not sick”, Jiung choked out, “There’s no reason for me to miss any schedule.” Gently kneading the tight muscles at the back of the younger’s neck, Keeho disagreed: “You might not be sick but you’re obviously unwell. Your vertigo can put you and anyone in close proximity at risk of injury if you try to dance. That’d justify sitting out, don’t you think?” – “But it happens frequently and I’m always fine”, Jiung argued, his voice breaking. Taking the boy’s hands into his own, Taeyang hummed: “That maybe true but you don’t look like you have the energy to power through it today. Maybe it’s worse than usual or maybe you’re already exhausted from the previous days of practice. You need some rest. The more you push yourself, the worse it gets.”

It was true, Jiung was exhausted but so was everyone else. Keeho was ready to call him in sick, so why couldn’t he accept the offer to stay in bed? “How about this”, Taeyang proposed, “A hot shower usually helps at least little, so why don’t  you take one and see if it eases the tension. You can lay down with a heating pad afterwards and get some more rest. We’ll keep texting and if you feel better by lunchtime, someone will come and collect you to join the second half of our practice? You wouldn’t miss a whole day of schedule and might even feel well enough to enjoy yourself later.” – “I agree with him on this”, Keeho joined, running his hand up and down Jiung’s back, “I don’t think you’d get anything out of practicing in your current condition, so why force yourself through the trouble? Take care of yourself first and work second.”

Jiung let his hyungs talk into staying back to take a hot shower and a nap. They promised though that they’d respect his decision, should he want to join them for practice later that day but they would most definitely be watching him justa little closer than usual to make sure he was okay.

[natalynsie]

Buzzing Lights (Noco Ficlet)

“I can’t believe your dad kicked us out,” Heather stated.

It was just past sunset. The park had a faint smell of rain from earlier that day, the pavement was ever-so-slightly wet, and the lights above the baseball fields buzzed quietly. It was dark, dark enough that the sign listing the rules, one of them being the park is only open dawn to dusk, was unseen.

“Duncan literally stole his wallet. I don't know what more you want from him,” Noah responded blankly. “Would your parents not kick us out? Because if they wouldn’t that says a lot about your family.”

“Well, he could’ve just thrown Duncan out, but he had to take all of us out. I mean, I guess being slow runs in the family.”

“I’m actually a very fast runner,” Lindsay argued. “But my dad is a little slow.”

“See what I mean?”

Noah rolled his eyes. He couldn’t believe Owen managed to drag him to another party with his homeroom, one at Lindsay’s house no less. What he also couldn’t believe is the fact that Lindsay would actually invite Duncan to her house. Of course, after Duncan decided to go and start robbing the family, effectively getting all the kids kicked out. Now, they were walking around a local park aimlessly.

Duncan just shrugged at the conversation. “You gotta do what you gotta do.”

“Well hey, it’s a nice night!” Geoff smiled, optimistic as always. “I think me and Bridge are gonna go find a place to watch the stars.”

“Hey, not a bad idea,” Duncan grinned as the two blondes departed from the group to find somewhere to sit. “Courtney, would you-”

“Not in a million years, Duncan,” Courtney responded. “Especially not after you robbed Lindsay’s parents.”

“Worth a shot,” Duncan replied.

“Courtney, let’s go on the swings!” Gwen suggested, pointing at the swing set standing on its own separate from the playground.

“Sure,” Courtney smiled.

“Don’t you leave me here with these crazies,” Leshawna called, following them. After a moment, Trent followed them as well.

Heather, Lindsay, and Beth headed to the bleachers to paint their nails. Alejandro, Duncan, DJ, and Tyler headed for the field where they saw an abandoned soccer ball. Everyone slowly split up from the group, going off with their own friends, leaving Cody and Noah heading to the woods.

“You sure we should go in there?” Noah asked.

“I know my way,” Cody argued. “I’ve been here a million times.”

It wasn’t like Noah had anything better to do, anyway. Eva, Izzy, and Owen went climbing fences so he wouldn’t want to hang out with them. Going for a walk in the woods was tame and required little effort. Plus, Cody knew what he was doing.

Well, not really.

After about twenty minutes of walking and Cody ranting about anything and everything, they decided to turn back. It was even darker than it was earlier, and Noah could barely see Cody.

He heard a clunk. “Wait, where are we?” Cody voiced.

“Are you serious right now?” Noah responded. “I thought you knew where we were going.”

“I just hit my leg on something and I have no idea where we are. Sorry.”

Noah let out a sharp sigh. Great.

Lost in the woods with Cody of all people. Maybe Izzy or Eva would be able to find their way back being the crazy people they were, or Owen could find his way back with the promise of food, but Cody?

Then Noah felt another hand touch his.

“I just don’t wanna lose you,” Cody justified the action, lacing his fingers into Noah’s. “In the woods, that is.”

Noah felt his heartbeat speed up, but blamed it on the fact that he was lost in the woods at night. He wasn’t scared, but what else would it be?

And he tripped.

“Ow, Jesus,” he exclaimed, letting go of Cody’s hand.

“Woah, sorry.” Cody crouched. “Are you okay?”

“I just fell really hard.”

“Are you bleeding?”

Noah felt the area directly below the knee he fell on. “Yeah. A little.”

“Okay, um, we’ll get band-aids when we get back. We can wash your cut in the bathrooms.”

Noah nodded, but then remembered he couldn’t see Cody. “Uh, yeah.”

Cody took Noah’s hand again and began walking slowly, not wanting to fall again. Noah stuck his free arm out so he wouldn’t run into anything again.

“Man, this would be a lot easier if Izzy was here,” Cody stated.

Noah snorted. “Yeah. The girl has night vision.” His hand hit a bush. “I guess we have to turn here.”

“Wait. Stick your foot out to the right.”

Noah did so. “Okay?”

“So there’s two paths here. I think we need to go left.”

“I guess you know better than me. If you’re not right though, I’m going to be mad.”

“No no, I know where we are now.”

Noah sighed. For the rest of the walk they didn’t talk much. There wasn’t much more to say.

“Oh hey, we’re back,” Cody smiled. The buzzing lights were visible and shone light on the path. “We can make it to the bathrooms from here,” Cody grinned and let go of Noah’s hand.

Noah nodded, following him, but longing to hold Cody’s hand again.

[artblock-tm]

what if you talk a bit more about that gay little jester you put in a mirror that would be funny i think

i forgot his name lol hehdgdhshdgdg

Oh yeah I’ll talk more about him. I’ll GLADLY talk more about Drisco. He likes the attention, too!

Origin and Design

Drisco and his rival/counterpart/toxic yaoi partner Castarian both originated in a dream I had. While Castarian was named, Drisco wasn’t, so I had to come up with something myself. It rhymes with “disco” but my intention was to derive something from “discord”.

So he’s one of the newest, and one of my more favored designs, since I’ve gotten better at designing OCs. I only have his top half planned out, since that’s mostly what appears, and the attempt at his bottom half isn’t set in stone…. But here he is!

Maybe I’ll give him stupid little pointed shoes with bells on the end.

Story

In life, he was the jester for some nobleman- he preferred that over working for a king, because he got juuuust the right amount of attention.

While I don’t have a lot of story planned out for this world , I do have a concept for their religion/magic system. It’s heavily based on flowers and their magical or divine properties. A lot of flower-based products are sold at markets because of their importance. They can be used for protective charms, healing salves, scents, etc. Alchemy is a major factor in their scientific and magical developments.

Drisco, however, dedicated his life to studying magic dealing with blood. This magic was darker and considered taboo, but he recognized it as the other side of the coin of the holy flowers. They’re both natural substances and, if applied correctly, have magic properties, and therefore have worth to any god(s) they believed in.

So Drisco learned how to control blood. He learned summoning rituals, ways to puppeteer people, ways to cast illusions, etc. He learned what was thought unethical to figure out- what the worth of a human soul is.

He studied this in the shadows of his jester life. Every so often he’d make trips into the forest to gather materials and stop at towns to put on a show. He met Castarian that way- in a fae-riddled forest. I might talk about the circumstances of their meeting and their complicated relationship sometime else; there’s a lot to it.

Anyway. Drisco eventually got caught studying this sinful magic. And so, he was executed, and just to make extra sure he couldn’t cause more harm, his spirit was cursed into a mirror. (Castarian died as a result of his death, too. Again, it’s complicated.)

The mirror was transported to an abandoned fort and covered with a cloth. Drisco, sentient as a spirit, couldn’t see out of the mirror with it covered. He spent centuries in darkness… and as someone who’s so fond of attention, that… that wore him down a little.

But he did discover he could control the interior of the mirror. It could become any scene he liked! He could simulate any place he wanted- outdoors, indoors, doesn’t matter! But the frame of the mirror always stays the same amount of space behind him, no matter how far it looks like he’s gone. And nothing is real in the worlds he create- he can’t feel the sun on his skin or breathe in fresh air anymore.

One day, the mirror was uncovered. And he was overjoyed. Immediately he started talking to the person who uncovered the mirror- only to quickly discover they couldn’t see him. And again, his hopes fell.

But even as they left, the mirror stayed uncovered. He could finally glimpse the room he was left in! It was… dusty and old and in the process of being cleaned up as a tourist space, but it was better than a black nothingness!

He also learned that Castarian, as a ghost, hangs out in the same fort. Somehow, as a spirit, he’d followed Drisco here and hadn’t left his side. At first, Drisco was touched…until he learned that it was because Castarian blamed him for his death and had waited all this time to yell at him. Whatever friendship they had dissolved as they argued.

Drisco is furious at Castarian (again, for complicated reasons), and wants his revenge. It’s a little hard to avenge oneself when one is trapped in a mirror, though…

As more and more people trickle through the not-so abandoned fort, Drisco realizes that some people can see him. He talks to those people, and starts to manipulate them. He gets them in their own for a while and puts on an entertaining show- perhaps with lights set up in the background of the mirror and a giant wheel of fortune, all modern game show things with a medieval twist!

But he always rigs the games and cheats to win. Every single one of his participants dies after losing enough games and being forced to do a favor for him. Slowly he gains more power with every death, having his players draw their own spell circles on the ground that will spell their demise and give the value of their soul, blood, and flesh to Drisco.

And he loves it. It only he could get back at Castarian….

Other Notes

If I could fully figure out the mechanics of Drisco’s game show, I think he’d be VERY fun to roleplay, especially if everything was left up to chance.

Despite his sadistic demeanor, Drisco had actually been very lonely. His shows are not only spectacular because he’s fruity, he’s also trying to capture your attention and make you stay. He only kills people he gets bored with- or if they had some really, really bad luck in his games.

And speaking of him being fruity, this man is gay. That’s right, he’s one of them homosexuals. He has a crush on Castarian (but it’s more of an obsession), but if you get on his good side and stick around a lot… he might get attached to you. I think he could definitely settle for more than one partner.

Unfortunately, he’s well aware that he’s good-looking and that people want to kiss him. And he WILL use this to manipulate people. But interact at your own risk.

Also when he gets mad, I think he should be allowed to look increasingly demonic, as a treat.

I made a drawing of him recently that’s my current Discord pfp!

TW: Some blood

That’s all!

…for now. Knowing him, this won’t be the last time I talk about him.

[ehlnofay]

They find the inn on the afternoon of the fourth day.

It’s Martin who spots it during one of the long silent stretches of walking through the forest. “Look!” he says, pointing at the flash of pale wood wall through the trees, and then, squinting, “I think it’s a traveller’s inn!”

Pax slides their thumb under the strap of their bow-bag and looks in the direction he’s pointing. It is an inn, though a small one; just one floor, it looks like, and not big enough for many rooms, but there’s a signpost just in front of it painted in bright colours and it looks welcoming enough. Better than sleeping on the ground for the fourth time – and it should have food. Pax’s failed attempt at butchery left them with little to eat and no means of getting more. But there should be enough at an inn to restock their packs for a few days at least.

If they have the money for it, anyway. Pax spent a lot of her coin on the way to Kvatch, same as she ate most of her food, because she expected to be able to replenish that resource when she arrived. And Martin of course has no cash and nothing worth bartering. But it’s probably no matter – she’s got her nice jewellery if they’re really in a pinch, and she’s sure she’d be able to grab some things without paying, anyway.

Martin’s clearly thinking similarly – about the food, not necessarily the stealing. “It would be nice to have a hot meal.” He adjusts the strap of his feather-light bag and adds, “And a bed.”

“We would’ve come across an inn sooner if we’d stayed on the road,” Pax points out.

Martin’s eyebrows scrunch together. “Going off the road was your idea, Pax.”

“Yeah, for your sake.” They’re at a side wall of the inn now, a small window hanging above their heads just a bit too high to see through. They round the corner to the front door, marked by the vividly decorated sign. (Wanderer’s Rest, it reads, in sloppy white lettering.) “’Sides, I didn’t say it was a bad thing, just a fact.”

Martin huffs – he does a lot of huffing and sighing and acting irritated (Pax seems to provoke that reaction in a lot of people) – and turns the doorknob.

The door doesn’t budge.

Martin squints. He raps hard on the wooden boards. Nothing.

Ah, shit.

Pax groans and drops his pack on the floor. There’s another little high-up window just over the doorframe, tauntingly out of reach; he pushes Martin out of the way, ignoring his indignant cry, and jumps up to grip the top of the lintel with his fingertips. He manages to bring his leg up so he’s got one foot on the doorknob, and then he stands – the little handle groaning under his weight – to peer through the window.

The room inside is dark and empty, because of course it is.

“Fuck,” Pax gripes, and jumps with a dusty thud on the ramshackle porch. She dusts off her hands on her breeches. “Empty. I knew there was an exodus from County Kvatch but I didn’t know it stretched this far.”

Martin’s holding his little bag to his dark-robed chest. “You think the owners must have fled.”

“If you’ve got a better explanation, I’m all ears,” Pax shoots back.

“For the love of Akatosh, I wasn’t arguing with you! Would you please stop picking fights all the time!” Pax looks away; Martin sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose. “Let’s just keep going.”

“Don’t be an idiot,” Pax says (before it occurs to them that this might also count as picking a fight.) They dig their sleeve of picks out of their shoe and set to feeling out the lock with the hook pick. It feels simple enough – cheap metal, manoeuvrable pins. Probably easy enough to rake.

Martin stands looming over her as she gets out the snake rake. Not turning to look at his face, she says, “If you get all whiny and preachy about this I’m going to knock you down.”

“You make a lot of assumptions about me,” Martin observes. Pax can’t deny it’s true. She jerks the pick in the lock.

It takes less than a minute for the lock to crack. Pax shoves the door open and hauls her pack through. Silently, Martin follows.

It’s dark inside – not enough windows to be lit up – and a bit dusty. The owners must have been gone a few days at least, maybe a week. But there’s a fireplace, littered with soot, and a bread-oven, and several chairs with cushions and little tables to sit at. At one end of the room, tucked under the high-up windows, there’s a row of pallet beds with straw pillows and wool blankets.

It’s quite nice, really. Small, but. Looks like half the inns Pax used to stay in down the Niben, only drier.

“What did you mean, you went off the road for my sake?” Martin asks. Pax drops their pack and bow-bag on the floor and moves into the area near the hearth. “I would have much preferred to keep to it. I told you as much.”

Pax opens a cabinet and finds a few pots and dishes. Not as much as there should be – whoever left here took a lot of stuff with them. “Harder to track. If we didn’t need to stop at Skingrad for supplies I would’ve had us cut straight through the Reserve.”

“I understand abundance of caution, but is that really necessary?”

Pax snorts. “Says the man the daedra levelled a city to get to.”

She grabs one of the smaller pots – it clanks against a saucepan handle as she pulls it out of the cupboard – and sets to looking for food. There isn’t a lot – seems a bunch of it must’ve been taken as well – and some of what she does find is mouldy, but after a few minutes she’s got a little pile on the counter of stuff that is probably fine to eat. A bag of oats, some turnips, a couple jars of sugar and salt (not sure which is which), a small handful of berries, and one orange that seems alright. She didn’t even look through half the cupboards – hopefully there’ll be plenty to take with them on the way to Skingrad.

“How’s this for a hot meal, Martin Priest?” they say, gesturing at the admittedly paltry fare collected on the tabletop.

Martin does not reply.

Pax turns to look at him. He’s staring blankly at the fireplace as though nothing in the world could possibly intrigue him more than this tiny inn’s cold grate. His face is sickly white.

“Martin?”

He looks at them then, face pinched, almost swaying on his feet. “I hadn’t, ah,” he murmurs, “I hadn’t quite thought of that.”

“Sit down,” Pax tells him. He doesn’t. She grabs a striker and stone from the mantel above the hearth. “Thought of what?”

“They were trying to get to me.” He’s got his bundle clutched tight to his chest like a child with a sewn toy. “I knew that, but I didn’t – I didn’t think –”

“Sit down,” Pax commands, and places a hand on his shoulder, pushing him toward the ground. He goes.

“If they were trying to get to me –”

His voice has gone very funny. “Breathe,” Pax says, but he doesn’t think Martin’s listening.

“ – if they were trying – Pax.”

Pax is so extremely ill-prepared for this.

“It can’t have been to get to me,” Martin’s saying, and he sounds frantic, frightened, like with every word he’s unspooling his intestines and chucking them up on the dusty wooden floor. “It can’t.”

They both know it was.

“You don’t know what it was like,” he says tearfully, because now he’s started he doesn’t seem able to stop. “I prayed all night – I prayed, but nothing came, just more, always banging on the doors, we blocked them off with all the furniture we could find and we could always hear them outside. I couldn’t get everyone to stay. They kept trying to run. You didn’t see it, all razed, the amount of dead –”

“I saw.”

“If the daedra were looking for me, if they did it all to find me –”

His voice breaks and now he’s proper sobbing, crouched by the empty hearth.

Pax does not know what to do in this situation. They stare at him, uncomfortable, for about half a minute as he weeps, face screwed up, nails scraping at the floorboards. Then they stand, shoving the striker and stone into their pocket, and head out the door.

Round the back of the inn, just like they were hoping, there’s a pile of firewood and twigs for kindling and a small pitcher pump with a bucket. The wood is only dewy near the bottom of the pile, and the pump works easily. Pax re-enters the room with a bundle of wood and bucket of water, and as Martin cries they build and light the fire. There’s a rod hanging over the hearth. Pax fills the pot with water and hangs it over the flames.

Martin’s still crying.

Pax passes him her water canteen.

It’s not until the water’s boiled and she’s added the oats that he quiets, taking a long drink from the canteen and then knuckling at his eyes.

“Sorry,” he mumbles tightly. “I didn’t mean to – to have such an outburst. I don’t think I really realised what it meant until now. That they were looking for me.”

Pax stirs the pot, not looking at him. “It’s fine. Happens.” She hears him shifting a bit next to her, his light bag being set on the ground.

“I just. I can’t bear it all being because of me.”

They do look up, then. “It’s not your fault,” they say. “The Emperor, he talked like you were the key to closing the Gates. He saw it coming. Jauffre reckons that the Dragonfires might be the thing. You’re not some kind of death knell, you’re the last bastion.”

Martin is staring at them. “Poetic,” he says, a little teasingly, though his eyes are growing damper again and his voice is choked up.

“I read a lot. Do you want sugar in your porridge?”

Martin, still a bit weepy, looks askance at the pot. “Do you know how to make porridge?”

“Course I know how to make porridge!” Pax snaps, offended. “How useless do you think I am?”

Martin laughs, and even though the sound is brittle and it goes on longer than feels necessary, something in Pax uncoils. They never know how to manage when people are upset. He says, “Sugar would be lovely, thank you.”

[the-ghost-king]

I really love your thoughts on tsats so much because I feel kind of similar. I can’t say that I hated the book because I would definitely read it again, but I didn’t love it because I finished it feeling a bit unsatisfied? Disappointed? Yet I still had a smile on my face and it wasn’t a struggle at all for me to get through. I don’t know. My expectations weren’t met at all but I don’t regret buying it. There was a lot I didn’t like and I don’t really understand what happened, especially since Rick and Mark seem so proud of what they created, and Mark has even talked about Nico as one of their favorite characters. So then how did we get here and end up with this? I guess I’ve read a lot of really excellent Solangelo fics and I hoped that as a story written by Rick and Mark, tsats would be as good as them or even nearly but it truly does not even compare. I think I see it as just another fic in my mind. A really popular fic. But despite all that I still can’t say I hated it, and I know it’s not all around terrible because I’ve seen a generally positive reception on other platforms other than tumblr lmao. But anyway yeah, here’s to some really really mixed feelings 😵‍💫

Oh I understand completely... According to some other posts I've seen Oshiro has straight up stated they didn't understand Will at all the entire writing process... I... I don't know if it's possible to effectively write a main character you don't understand?? I think maybe this could have been better if Rick wrote Will's POV and Mark did Nico's POV... It's very obvious to me how absolutely hands off Rick was in the writing process because this book reads like a lot of Oshiro's other work to me... Also, I think that's such a big part of why people are saying it feels like fanfiction- because it is! It's literally canon endorsed by the author fanfic- it's the PJO fandom's "The Cursed Child" (sorry to bring up Rowling) - but literally it's just an author handing their body of work off and giving it the stamp of approval.

A lot of people are acting like people saying it's just fanfic are dissing fanfic, but I don't think that's exactly it, I think people are just having to realize Rick absolutely did not have a hand it writing this at all predominantly- maybe he had mild say in the plot or threw in a joke or two but literally this seems like a friend handed him a fanfic and he published it for them. "This reads like a fanfic" to me literally feels like I could have opened any tab on Ao3 or FFN in the past few months in preparation for this book and read this exact body of work by some other author... The problem I'm having, is that I know I could have had a better book done by a better author- in fact I have read significantly better pieces by better authors, yet this is the one that is endorsed and made cannon? This is the one that will earn thousands of dollars? I don't know how I feel about that...

I've seen many saying they're struggling to get through it and I can't say I understand because I was able to move quickly through it, but on the other hand I do understand because I did struggle to make it through other works of Oshiro's... They have a horrible pacing issue in my opinion and I don't think they have the proper editors fixing it... Even when you're writing non poetic works there is a certain tempo or meter a work should flow at and Oshiro imo has consistently failed at this in their works... I think I didn't struggle to move through it because I have experience getting through their work but also because I am absolutely the person who will read a 200k fic I don't really care for in a day..

I agree with you as well though, I'm not upset to have purchased it, I will say I don't think it's worth the dollar amount on the price tag however and I will say people trying to argue "it's not badly written because it's not to your tastes" are quite wrong because I've managed to shove my fingers into so many plot holes and loose ends this book has.

I wouldn't say I like this book, I definitely wouldn't say I loved it, I also didn't hate it, and I don't think I would say I didn't like it either. It was a book, I read it, I endured it, and I didn't hate it. There is something in those pages that despite everything I despise calls me in and beckons me to keep returning to it and I cannot figure out what, I'm going to try and get through it for another round here and see if I can uncover anything else but mostly I just stand behind my first two paragraphs here... I think your "my expectations weren't met at all but I don't regret buying it" is incredibly accurate to my feelings as well, I think it's the worst book in the pjo/hoo/toa series but I don't regret buying it or reading it... so, yeah.

[starshinewriter]

Brett liked everyone, but Reagan was his favorite person.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/43424829

Alternative to Ao3:

Brett didn't know what he was expecting when JR offered him a job but working for a secret company controlling the government was pretty low on the list. He wasn't sure he loved the idea of working for an organization that was potentially evil but JR was counting on him and it probably wasn't that evil anyway. Plus, there were some good things about Cognito, everyone was so nice! It was great to be somewhere that wanted him for once! He's never felt more appreciated.

And then there was his team, his friends, who were quickly becoming more of a family to him than his actual family, who were some of the best people he knew. Okay, sure Myc was a bit of an asshole, but at least he was honest about it. And sure, sometimes they were a bit more selfish than their jobs should allow but they always came through in the end! That was what really mattered. His point was, they were actual friends to him and he isn't sure he's had actual friends before. It was nice, it was so nice it was worth all the... other stuff that came with Cognito.

But even though they were all great, everyone there was great, he was pretty sure Reagan Ridley was the best person who ever existed. Reagan was his very best friend and the person who got him most in the world, and he liked to think he got her pretty well too. She was the person who saw through all his facades, all his walls, and tried to bring out the true Brett. And that could be scary but it was ultimately the thing that he needed the most. But even without all of that, she was the person he had the most fun with.

When she let her guard down that was, and he learned pretty quickly that he was pretty much the only person who could get her to do that. So he saw her fun side the most, the sides of her that weren't the workaholic, brilliant scientist she showed everyone else the most and he treasured that deeply.

Plus she was also the most interesting person he had ever met. Yeah, she had a lot of trauma, like a lot, but he would argue that all the most interesting people in the world had some amount of trauma. She was smarter than anyone he had ever met but she wasn't arrogant about it and she never minded explaining things to him no matter how much she had to. She was the most determined person in the world, when she wanted something she wouldn't let anything stop her from getting it. But she also knew when to let it go, when some things people weren't worth it. She was more socially awkward than anyone he knew and yet she always knew just what to say to him. She was the weirdest person in the world, and he loved it. Platonically. Loved it platonically.

He loved everything about her. Again, platonically. How could he not? She was always there for him, even when everyone else bailed he could count on her to stick by him. When everyone else lied she told the truth. When everyone just wanted him to be yes-man she was telling him how bullshit that was. And when he was having a bad day and just wanted to crawl in a hole and hide she was there with a pizza and a movie, more than ready for a sleepover. How could he think she was any less than the greatest person ever?

Brett didn't know what he was expecting when JR offered him a job but getting the best friend in the world out of it was a pretty amazing deal.

[nickgerlich]

Jet Set

“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”



It’s an oft spoken phrase, and essentially it means that we should learn from our mistakes, hopefully never to repeat them. While we can also argue that we should learn from our successes—a topic broached by my podcast guest on 17th April—the broader point must be taken: We must always be in learning mode.

And with this the final episode of the Daily Blog for the Spring 2023 semester—can I get a hallelujah?— it is only fitting that I focus on just that. By now, you have long grown accustomed to my style. I write 700-900 words every morning, and whenever possible, try to wrap it up in a story. You know how you trick your dog to take its meds by wrapping those pills in cheese? Yeah. That’s my MO. The cheese is just the story. Inside is the stuff you need to take in.

For my parting shot, I choose to use an example that was actually suggested by one of my MBA students this term. It’s a good one, and even though it predates much of the digital era as we know it, the lessons are huge and just as applicable. It even spawned a four-part Netflix limited series late last year.

For now, put yourselves back in 1996. Coca-Cola and Pepsi have been locked in the Cola Wars for decades, a battle that intensified in the 1970s with the Pepsi Challenge and blind taste-testing taking center stage. Pepsi, long mired in second place, learned that in tests like those, consumers actually preferred the taste of that product instead of Coke. Yet those same shoppers were undeterred by reality: they kept buying Coke anyway, and the rankings never changed, even when Coca-Cola blinked in 1985 and killed “Old Coke,” replacing it with “New Coke,” and then having to backstroke by (re-)introducing Coca-Cola Classic.



That’s another story for a different day. In 1996, though, Pepsi decided it was time for a sweepstakes that encouraged brand loyalty and frequent consumption. Collect Pepsi Points from cans and bottles, and redeem them for merch. It is a campaign that many marketers have used through the years.

But wait, there’s more. Pepsi listed one especially interesting prize: a $23 million fighter jet. Who would possibly take Pepsi seriously when they said you could redeem seven million points for the jet? Well, a 20-year-old college student named John Leonard did, and he set out to claim his jet. The problem, though, was that Pepsi had also made it possible for people to acquire needed points pretty cheap—10 cents apiece.



Mr. Leonard thought on this. He could buy seven million points for $700,000. Being a college student, he did not have that kind of money around, but he convinced millionaire Todd Hoffman to front the money. Bingo. Todd had the points needed to get his $23 million fighter jet, a bargain considering he could do it for $700,000.

The only problem is that Pepsi wasn’t buying it. JK, they said. Surely no one would take them seriously, right?

But Mr. Leonard did, and took them to trial. He claimed it was an offer, and that he had complied. Fortunately for Pepsi, though, the court ruled that an advertising claim does not constitute a unilateral offer. “Whew,” said the folks at Pepsi HQ. That was a close one. Never mind the hoops and hurdles of—you know—actually delivering a military-grade fighter jet to a private citizen. The story is so legendary that Netflix released it as “Pepsi, Where’s My Jet?” It’s a great watch, something I did last winter shortly after it was released.

Even though Pepsi prevailed, it had massive amounts of egg on its face. How stupid could a company be to promote something it had no intention whatsoever of following through on? The message is clear for any marketer staging similar promotions: If you are kidding, then you need to make that abundantly clear. It costs money to defend yourself, even if you win. And the black eye it suffered was not worth any value it received from the rest of the folks redeeming points for far more mundane things.

Now skip forward—notice how we no longer say fast-forward like in the days of VHS—to the digital era. Imagine how this would have played out on social media. It would have been far bigger, and millions more people would have known. Class action lawsuits would have been filed. Major media coverage would have ensued. I suspect there would have been boycotts, because…why not?

This is a sad story for Pepsi, but they are lucky it happened in 1996 instead of 2023. I really didn’t even need to wrap cheese around this one, because it is tasty on its own. I mean, unless you work for Pepsi. I can only imagine folks in the C-suite at Coca-Cola giddy with laughter.

Complicating matters is that, as we have discussed just this week, sometimes companies do things for shock value because they think or know it will all work out in the end anyway. Ask the folks at AB InBev about that. Or, listen to the latest podcast episode tomorrow in which I feature the Mayor of Uranus. Yeah. Shock. Insert every double entendre you can imagine. He wins; Pepsi lost.

It has been my pleasure to serve as your guide this term. It is customary that I leave you with a benediction. It will feel strange tomorrow morning knowing that I don’t need to write a blog until the 5th of June for summer term. It will be great that I have more time to work on a couple of book projects I put on the back burner.

Now may you all go forward with the realization that you must be information sponges in order to be an informed businessperson. May you keep your eyes, ears, and—most importantly—your minds open to the changes around you. And may you act responsibly, ethically, and professionally in all that you do. Good health, and shalom, y’all.

Dr “Stay In Touch—I Mean it“ Gerlich

Audio Blog

[prittyvenus]

The Medium and the nameless ghouls

Case file 001-6 audio confession

Sara: Aria English (US) 

Stevens: Christopher English (US) 

Swiss: Tomas English (UK) 

Sodo: Ryan English (UK) 

Haley: Emily English (Ireland) 

Phil: Connor English (Ireland) 

(Made with Microsoft Word, Bing, and Audacity)

Swiss: I don’t think I can trust her.  

Sodo: I don’t trust her either, but what can we do?  

Sara: Detective Stevens. Are you ready?  

Swiss: Do you think telling her will send us to the pits? 

Stevens: Alright, the camera’s ready. You know what to do. 

Sodo: No, but Dewdrop will. If we don’t help out. 

Sara: Got it. Okay then. Please state your names and occupations. 

Sodo: I’m Fire Ghoul Number 107, but the humans call me Sodomizer. Lead guitarist for Project Ghost.  

Swiss: I’m a Multi Ghoul Number 51, Humans call Swiss. A backup guitarist for Aether and Sodo. Plus, I play other instruments as well. 

Haley: Judging by the numbers you were given; I can understand why you were given names like Sodo and Swiss. 

Stevens: Alright then, what is it that you wanted to tell us?  

Sodo: I knew what happened to Lucia before she was killed. 

Swiss: Buddy, don’t you dare do it. It’s not worth going to the pits for this. 

Sara: The Pits? Do you mean like the Pits of Hell? 

Swiss: Well... Yes. 

Haley: You both realized I’m a lawyer. I can request it anonymously for both of you. 

Sara: Haley is a good defense lawyer. So, you guys don’t have to worry. Besides, you guys are called nameless ghouls for a reason. Right? 

Swiss: Well, you do have a point.  

Haley: Also, I’m defending your lead singer Papa Emeritus the Fourth from Sargent Peter Davis. 

Sodo: Swiss?

Swiss:  Do it, little buddy... 

Sodo: Well... It happened are the afternoon of March fifth. My younger twin brother, Dewdrop, was doing patrols around the garden when he saw the murder take place.  

Stevens: So, wait a minute. Did the murder happen someplace else? 

Sodo: Yeah, Dewdrop saw it happen. He told me that he saw Lucia argue with one of the bishops of the Clergy. Then he said that there was a screaming match between them and then the bishop killed Lucia. I know she wasn’t like in the Clergy, but she didn’t deserve to die like that. 

Stevens: Did he say who killed Lucia or how she died? 

Sodo: No, he was threatened with the pits if he ever spoke about what happened. He told me he was to “clean the mess” and to make sure no one must know.  

Sara: Not even Papa? 

Swiss: No, not even Papa. 

Sodo: Dewdrop got severely sick after the threat so Swiss, and I wound up taking his place. 

Stevens: So, you both wound up being accomplices to the murder. 

Swiss: We’re ghouls. We can’t say no to the Clergy. 

Sodo: Anyway, we were planning to dispose of the body out in the woods, but then we heard from the other ghouls that Sister Imperator was looking for us.  

Sara: You guys didn’t get caught with the body in tow? 

Swiss: No, we managed to hide the body in an empty storage case where we kept our instruments.  

Sodo: It turns out that we were doing a performance at the Cocktail Theater over the next town. 

Swiss: I and Sodo tried to keep things quiet, but then Papa said, “Once he apologizes to Lucia, he will ask her to be his wife once he gets back.” 

Sara: So, she fought with Copia as well? 

Sodo: Like I said, she wasn’t well-liked in the Clergy. 

Swiss: She always has to pick a fight with somebody. Both ghouls and humans are alike. 

Stevens: Let’s not get off-topic here. 

Sodo & Swiss: Sorry. 

Sara: So, you both took the body with you to the next town. 

Sodo: I would not lie; it was a mistake on our part. 

Swiss: We took the storage case with us, and the humans put it in the truck with the equipment. 

Sodo: We left it in the truck until it got dark in the next town. 

Steven: Did you tell anyone else about the storage case? 

Swiss: No, just me and Sodo. 

Sodo: Aether did try to follow us, but I told him that I was “coming back quick” and “I was going to check in on Dewdrop”. 

Sara: Does Aether know about Dewdrop’s situation? 

Sodo: No, he knows about the illness but not about the murder that Dewdrop saw. 

Swiss: We went back to the truck to get the body. We left our uniforms in the rack so no one could suspect it was us. As soon as we were heading to the cemetery on the church grounds, we got caught by security. 

Sodo: We dropped the body and ran back to the truck and stayed there until things settled down. Then we went to the liquor store and grabbed a few beers and shared them with the other ghouls. 

Haley: I don’t understand how they didn’t get arrested by security. 

Sara: Haley, They’re not human from the beginning. They are fast and stronger than the normal human being. Since this is a situation that they can’t control, they have no other choice but to flee. 

Stevens: They must have gone to the liquor store as an alibi so no one could suspect it was them. 

Sara: Did you guys leave the storage case in the truck, or did you take it with you? 

Swiss No, we left it in the truck. We even... [long pause] Oh, shit. 

Sara: What is it? What’s wrong? 

Phil: I just got a message from the sergeant. They found the storage case that was left in the truck. 

Stevens: Who found the storage case? 

Swiss & Sodo: The cops. 

Haley: That’s not good. If Sargent Davis finds evidence in the storage case, he will try to pin the blame on Copia. 

Sara: Haley, do you think that the Disability Act will work for Copia? 

Haley: Yes and no but knowing the Sargent he will do whatever it takes to convict him without a confession. 

Sara: Even if it was done by a ghoul there’s no stopping the man. 

Phil: You both realized this is a problem for the clergy. I am wrong? 

Swiss: Look, Phil, this is not our fault. 

Phil: And yet you allowed it to happen. 

Sodo: I did what I had to do to protect Dewdrop from going to the pits. 

Sara: They confessed to handling the body, but they didn’t kill her. They also said that Dewdrop became sick after he witness Lucia’s murder by a bishop from your clergy. 

Phil: Did they say who it was? 

Sodo: No, he was threatened with the pits by the bishop if he ever opens his mouth. 

Phil: Dewdrop’s E.D.S. is becoming a hassle. I have to report this to Sister Imperator. Do excuse me. 

Swiss: We’re fucked. 

Sodo: We’re so fucked. 

Haley: Looks like I have a lot of work ahead of me. 

Sara: I have to call the D.A. to see if I can stall for time. Can you turn off the recording? 

Stevens: Of course. 

Case file closed

Case file contents