caitskywalker14
caitskywalker14
Dreaming Of Us
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20🤍Lover of all things angst 🕸️
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caitskywalker14 ¡ 3 months ago
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was just thinking about how old as fuck bf Joel would have you in bed by 9pm and had to write it 😭😭 all fluff xx
It’s 8:42 when he flicks off the living room lamp with a sigh, the whole house dipping into that familiar, sleepy hush. You’re already brushing your teeth, barefoot in his flannel that hangs loose and low, the sleeves swallowing your hands as you lean over the sink. He watches you from the hallway like he always does, arms crossed, eyes soft, like he still can’t believe you’re here���his—night after night.
By 8:56, you’re both under the covers. Clean sheets. Fresh pajamas. His arm is warm around your waist and the windows are cracked just enough to let the breeze in. The town outside is quiet. Your limbs are tangled, skin on skin, and he smells like cedarwood and peppermint toothpaste and the kind of comfort you never thought you’d get to keep.
You glance at the clock. 8:59.
“You made me boring,” you whisper, smiling into his chest. “I used to be wild. Fun. The last one to leave the party.”
Joel’s voice is low, sleep-soft. “You’re still fun. You’re just tired now.”
“Because I’m in bed at nine. You’ve aged me.”
He snorts, the sound muffled by your hair. “You’re the one who yawned through dinner.”
“You were the one talking about home insulation and firewood like it was the highlight of your week.”
He chuckles again, hand smoothing down your back beneath the blanket. “That’s ‘cause it was.”
You bite back a laugh, snuggling closer, cheek pressed to his chest. You can hear his heartbeat—steady, warm, yours. His other hand cups the back of your head like he needs to keep you there, needs to hold on even in sleep.
“You like our little life?” he asks suddenly, voice quieter now, almost shy.
You blink up at him, and the look on his face is so open, so tender, it makes your breath catch. That furrow between his brows, the one he always wears like a shield, is gone. He looks… safe. Happy. Home.
“I love our little life,” you whisper. “I’d go to bed at 7 if it meant doing it with you.”
He smiles. Really smiles. The kind that starts in his eyes, slow and crooked and completely devastating.
And then he leans in, presses the softest kiss to your lips, like a thank-you. Like a goodnight. Like a promise.
By 9:01, you’re both asleep.
Wrapped in each other.
Wrapped in peace.
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caitskywalker14 ¡ 10 months ago
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Run For The Hills - Toxic! Ellie Williams x Fem!Reader
So this is my first post on here and I’m currently DOWN BAD for Ellie and I LOVE all the angst fics people write on here so wanted to do my own based on ‘run for the hills’ by Tate McRae as the song is soooo good! And fits the mood of this story??? lol. This also is super long but it’s worth it I hope
Anyway, i hope you all enjoy this as much as I have writing it you hoes xx
( toxic!ellie, cheating, drug mention, substance use, situationships, reader is aware its wrong but can’t stop loving Ellie, swearing, hints of spice, modern au, overall negative vibes from Ellie, TW bruises and physical pain as well as mental/emotional pain, confusing love and lust, toxic name calling, manipulation and angst)
Bold is lyrics of the song xx
GIF is not mine - credit to original owner and creator.
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Hotels, late nights, hands through my hair
Long talks, red eyes, clothes everywhere
Missing a moment when you're still there
You gotta thing you can't find nowhere, yeah-yeah
“Yeah well you’re fucking stupid if you think that you’re the only girl I’m screwing” screamed Ellie, her voice cracking in anger as she watched you pace up and down her apartment for what seemed like the 100th time this month. Despite it being late into the evening, your clothes were scattered all over the furniture, a reminder of the madness that just happened, and you desperately wanted to gather them and get out.
You and Ellie had a complicated relationship, if you could even call it that - hot, tension filled sex and arguments mixed with the drugs and alcohol fuelled college parties only made the situations you would find yourself in 10 times worse. Not to mention her lying, cheating, manipulation, and endless list of red flags that would lead any sane person to immediately cut ties… Yet there was something about the girl that drew you in. Like a moth to a flame, she enticed you, her words like honey when she whispered filthy words of praise in your ears, fingers rough yet still gentle on the rare occasions she’d take care of you after sex. And those eyes - those piercing, green eyes that seemed to fill your core with heat and desire every time she looked into yours. Ellie Williams truly was something else, and you knew it - she knew it too. Her confidence oozed sex appeal, as she often would remind you during arguements, like tonight, that she could “get any girl in her bed” and she didn’t have a problem with getting “pretty girls with pretty pussy”.
Sometimes, on a rare occasion, she’d let you in to see her softer side. Her front of being cocky and arrogant slipped away when she’d carefully hold your hand whilst tenderly stroking your skin to calm you down at parties, or when you’d come to see her and she’d made a poor attempt of a pasta dish she heard you talk about for dinner and even on some mornings where you would wake up to her softly caressing your face whilst running her hands through your hair as she gazed with nothing but love and affection towards you. The long, deep talks you’d have whilst sharing weed, eyes red and hazy where you’d talk about hopes and plans for the future whilst she listened eagerly, joining in to talk and interrupt your rants with sweet kisses, both of you giggling like children. These moments were what kept you coming back for more, however these were rarer recently as the only things you would do together were fight, argue, cry, fuck and ghost each other in the ongoing cycle of your “situation”.
Deep down, you knew that Ellie had issues with commitment, whether that be with you, college work or even part time jobs - it wasn’t her “thing” as she often said to upset you during fights, preferring to live life recklessly which honestly fucked with your head in more ways than one. How could someone who claimed to love you cheat on you with girls all over campus? The same girl who said she was yours - that you owned her mind,body and soul, had messages and messages on her phone from girls who desperately wanted to sleep with her again. She truly was a piece of shit towards you, and you knew this yet foolishly still gave into her with a click of her fingers and you’d go running back. The truth was, when you cut her off you felt free, like you could breathe and the air was suddenly fresh and clear of all pollution yet inside your body, it didn’t feel right - you began to miss the moments you had when she was temporarily yours, you missed her mouth, the taste of her lips and the scent of her cologne. The things you couldn’t find in anyone else made it hard to leave, nowhere else felt like home to you.
Kissing, screaming, straight back to war
I'm walking out until I lock the door
Maybe the danger's covered by the thrill
'Cause I know I should be running for the hills
“Ellie I’m not fucking stupid that’s why I’m done with you, I’m done with whatever fucked up fantasy this is and I’m done with being treated like I don’t mean shit to you.” You paused in your step, hastily slipping on your jeans and hoodie as Ellie sat on her couch, smoking a cigarette with almost glassy eyes as she chuckled to herself.
“I’m exhausted Ellie, you’ve drained the life out of me and those messages?? Those fucking messages from Yasmine, that girl you swore you didn’t fuck last weekend when you bailed on our plans have tipped me over the fucking edge so I’m done”, you screamed at her, fuelled with anger and rage directed not only at Ellie and her antics, but yourself for being so dumb enough to think she could change. Ellie sat silently, you could see her mind was racing of what more hurtful lies she could spew at you. She puts her smoke out before she starts her talk.
“Yeah well, it’s not my fault you’re just a dumb slut who can’t get it into her skull that we aren’t a real thing, you should know that by now I fuck who I want, when I want, and you” she stands up, rushing into your personal space, beginning to jab her finger into your chest with each word, “YOU are not gonna stop me!“
“It’s your fault that I do cheat. I mean I have to put up with your bitchy whining all the time and I get sick of it. Why can’t you just be chill like the others?.”
You scoff in disbelief at her words, stepping back away from her vicious stance. Usually by now you’d be crying asking for her to stop and you’d seemingly end up back in her bed, but all you can think about is how disgusting she sounds and how you definitely deserve better. “Well I won’t whine anymore and I’m not gonna stop you from fucking whatever girl you pick, because you’re dead to me.”. You turn around, collecting your last few items, ignoring her cold stare piercing into your back.
Once you had gathered your belongings, you leant against the door frame to put your shoes on, when suddenly a brutal force pushed you against the door, Ellie had you trapped. She had her tatted, muscular arms pressed against the door, caging your body so you couldn’t escape. “Babe, come on, you know you don’t mean that.”, she utters, looking into your eyes with that smirk, teasing you with her tone. “You always act so tough and mighty but we both know what you want”. Ellie’s fingers now found themselves gripping at your chin, tilting your head up to look deeper into her eyes, still keeping you secure against her chest and the door. “You want to be consumed by me, you live and breathe for me baby and you know that I’m the only one who gives that pussy a good fuck, just how you like it”, her hands now trailing down to your hips to possessively grab you to further press herself into your body. You let out a small gasp at the impact, turning your head away to avoid looking into her eyes as she slowly traced kisses over the sensitive skin of your neck. Mustering your strength, you push Ellie away from you, opening the door to finally leave the toxic girl you once loved. Before you left, she dropped her last few words.
“You should have known not to get too attached baby, I told you to run for the hills before ever falling for me”
You shuddered. A sick part of you loved the thrill, the chase and the danger surrounding Ellie Williams, but yeah maybe you should run for the hills, and never come back.
The way you touch me
Straight to the heart, yeah
It cuts me
'Cause I know deep down that it's
Never gonna ever be us, oh
Never gonna ever be more than just something that's fucking me up
A few days have passed, and you’re alone in your room. Since your messy “breakup” with Ellie, you don’t think you’ve ever been this bored in your entire life. Mindlessly, you begin scrolling on social media, checking snap, TikTok and the usual sites to see what everyone’s up to. Scrolling through instagram stories, you stumble across Ellie’s. You forgot to block her account this time, you’d been busy doing your own thing and your method of “healing” didn’t include blocking…more in the form of parties, kissing girls and doing shots until you blacked out with your friends.
Anxiously, you debated whether or not to click it - you knew she’d see you in her views and probably boast about it to her friends that you were obsessed with her, but you thought fuck it and clicked onto it. You held a breath as you nervously waited for the story to load. When it did, your heart stopped in your chest, a painful cut seeping slowly through your skin. It was a picture of Ellie in a bathroom mirror at what seemed to be a party, with a girl (a girl whom you actually haven’t seen her with before), bent over with Ellie stood behind her grabbing her hip as the other hand held her phone so she could pose in the mirror. The story included a caption “New bitch who dis” and the song choice was rather interesting at least - “I don’t fuck with you”.
As soon as you’d saw this, you finally let out a gasp of shock as you paused the screen, examining every last detail of the picture - Ellie’s fingernails now painted black, her signature flannel shirt unbuttoned for a relaxed look and her smirk as she looked into the camera, almost as if she was taunting you by her public display of her latest fling. It hurt, you couldn’t lie or pretend that her attempt of making you feel shitty didn’t work because it did. You looked as Ellie’s hand was possessively gripping the girl’s hip, often like how she would with you when she’d take you from behind (especially at parties when you’d sneak off to the bathroom), and you missed her touch. The way her fingers worked inside you, curling to hit the spot that made you see stars, the way they’d pull and tug at your hair when she’d pound you and the touch of her lips when she’d suck on your neck and nipples when she fucked you. It all came flooding back into your head and you felt your eyes swell with tears, stomach aching as you felt your emotions overflowing.
Still, deep down, you knew that it would never just be you and her. You knew your once-ideal-world of you being together was a facade. You knew that you’d never be enough for Ellie, enough to make her change. Despite this, it still hurt and the wounds she left seemed like they’d never heal. This toxic cycle did nothing but fuck you up each time it happened. Swiping off her story, you took a deep breath as you laid your head back onto your pillow, closing your eyes as you took deep breaths.
You made a promise to yourself to rise above it - you deserved so much better.
I know that when it's all done
I'll hate you bad in the long run
But, somehow, it never ends
My heel's on the edge of your bed again, yeah
I get obsessive with you
All that I want is attention from you
Break into my life and break all my rules, it's true
It had now been nearly 2 weeks since you’d seen Ellie in person, and despite her numerous attempts to contact you via calling, texting, Snapchat and all the rest, your dislike for the girl was still strong and you swore that you had finally closed your chapter with Ellie for good. It was also down to your friends (who always were there when she’d hurt you in the past) that literally warned you not to go back or else they’d rock your shit. They hated Ellie and hated her making you cry. You promised them that it was done, finished and over, convincing them and yourself that you hated her.
The weekend was finally approaching and there were major plans for a party at one of the frat houses on campus. You and your friends were extremely excited to attend, especially after a hard week of exams, tests and homework. The best medicine you all needed was to look sexy, get wasted and maybe even hook up with fellow party-goers. It was that one night that you desperately craved someone’s attention. You just didn’t think it would be from the person who broke your heart…Ellie. Even more so after all you’ve said about “not falling back into her trap”. Again, fate decided that this cycle would never end.
The night was crazy, you had had more shots that you could count, cups and cups full of endless spirits mixed with cheap juices/soda. You had laughed with friends whilst dancing to the playlist booming from the speakers, comforted random girls in the bathroom who cried over their exes and gotten a few girls socials (maybe even had a few kisses too but you’d probably forget all about them in the morning). However, all the fun had to come to an end at some point.
As soon as you saw Ellie stood in the corner, her eyes darkening with lust and passion, heat filled your core and you felt those same butterflies you felt the first time you saw her. The music and voices turned to a blur as the only thing you could focus on was her as she slowly walked towards you through the crowd, pulling you into her arms to hold you close - almost as if you’d slip away again if she let go. Nervously, you looked into her eyes, cursing yourself for craving her touch and attention. You were down bad, obsessed with her and it would surely be the death of you.
“You ready to come home babe?” She asked softly, a hint of amusement in her tone as she rested her hands on your waist, rubbing up and down your body.
The only thing you could do was nod as she gripped your hand, her poisonous touch melting away at your flesh as she led you to the uber she’d booked. Whisking you away from the party with only one thing on her mind - make up sex. Touching and tasting your body, the things that Ellie missed way more than she’d admit.
You broke the promise you made to your friends, you broke the promise to yourself and you let her invade your life like a parasite once again. It’s true, you’d let her break you down again like always. All just to gain some sort of attention from her, even if it was fake.
You hooked up once more.
Should run for the hills, should run for the hills
Should be running for the hills
The way you touch me
The next morning you woke up, limbs tangled and your clothes scattered all over Ellie’s cluttered bedroom. Your head was pounding from your hangover as you turned to Ellie’s sleeping figure next to you. She looked so peaceful, at ease and calm as you watched her chest rise slowly with each breath she took. You laid there for a good 30 minutes, counting each freckle on her cheeks, tracing her scars lightly to not wake her.
You wish every moment you spent with Ellie could be like this - it would be a dream come true. Though you knew deep down that this moment would be ruined in some way or another when the girl woke up, or even in a few days when her habits caught up with her. You felt your eyes fill with salty tears as you felt nausea overcome you when gazing at her. How could someone so beautiful cause so much suffering?
Lightly turning over, you stretched your sore limbs as you got up to head to the bathroom, walking in and turning the light on.
You looked a mess - a physical manifestation of your mind and soul. Lips cracked and sore, as you gazed at your reflection. Your chest was covered in bites and bruises, causing you to wince as you’d accidentally press too hard on your wrists, where her hands had gripped you last night. Looking down, your inner thighs were not left untouched with finger prints and bites there too. Last night was a blur, you enjoyed the sex you and Ellie would engage in but last night seemed to cause more pain than pleasure. As you stood there in silence you came to the reality…
This was the touch you craved? These were the type of marks that drove you wild?
How did you not see the physical damage she did to you?
You spent all your time being mentally drained by Ellie that you’d forgotten how it felt physically to be treated like this by someone you were supposed to love and feel protected by. It wasn’t right and you felt like a fool for it taking this long for you to truly realise the impact she had on you. Her touch was toxic, her words were venom and you’d clearly confused love and lust as the same thing. You had spent that much time focusing on the rare good moments you’d have with Ellie, that they had made you forget how unhealthy it all was.
Washing your face with cold water, you looked into the mirror at the girl you didn’t recognise. It was time to leave. For good. Before it was too late.
Leaving the bathroom, you silently began getting dressed, trying your best to not break down and wake her. Ellie was a deep sleeper, especially after drinking so you knew that this would be an easy escape. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you looked round the room at all of her posters, pictures and trinkets she had. You inhaled the scent of pine leaves, mint and vanilla. Taking a deep breath, you looked at Ellie once more, before leaning down to place a kiss at the top of her head and you left.
You did the one thing you’d never thought you’d do.
You ran for those hills and you never looked back.
So guys I hope you enjoyed this first piece I wrote, it made me emotional to write this as I myself have been through similar situations as well as people I know in real life. As I stated this is my first piece so I know there will be some errors as I’m new to this, thanks for understanding!
Abuse in any form is not ok. This work is purely for fictional purposes and not to be taken as a representation of a healthy, human relationship.
Please know that help is there if you need it. You’re not alone🖤
Please show some love and support below and let me know what you think. I might do more of these if I get requests or enough people like this one.
Thanks again x
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caitskywalker14 ¡ 3 years ago
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Elvis Presley in “King Creole” (1958)
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