#but it also breaks my heart seeing all these artists who were invested in this for years

[ihearasound]

Favourite artists selling their PM merch... its so joever

[deathmetalunicorn1]

The Strength of Love: Chapter 4: Visits and a New Face

-It had been almost a week since their first visit to Usagi’s house, and since that day, she’s had multiple visitors, if she was home.

-When she’s out training, Usagi will put one of two signs on her front door, one that says ‘dojo’ and one that says ‘mountain’, which tells anyone who comes to her house where she is.

-Usagi wasn’t sure what to make of these ten gods who were constantly seeking her out, meeting her at the dojo, at her home, and even catching her while she was walking from one place to the next; the only place they haven’t sought her out at was her mountain training grounds.

-Their insistence to come around made Usagi uneasy, she was unsure as to why, not understanding why, it wasn’t for Raiden, it was for her, because they always asked for her at the dojo, ‘What’s so special about me that keeps making them come back?’

-It was also the way they were approaching her that was confusing her, she had no issue sparring, as Shiva, Indra, and Rudra had all asked her for a match, wanting a challenge.

-It was when they approached her just to hang out, to ask her questions, that threw her for a loop.

-When Kali, Durga, and Parvati showed up to her home with a bag of self-care items, Kali smiling brightly, “Let’s do facial treatment and our nails, Usagi~”

-Usagi sat patiently, letting Parvati put the cream on her face while Durga was looking at her hands, “Wow! Your nails are really healthy looking!”

-Usagi gave them a small grin, flexing her hand a bit, “I try hard to take care of them, since they’re my weapons. It’s like taking care of a sword, if you don’t polish it and tend to it, it will break!” they were quick to understand the reasoning behind this.

-Kali was painting her nails while Parvati did Durga’s nails, “Your fingers are a bit thick; did you break them?” Kali didn’t mean it in a cruel way, but Usagi’s cheek did turn pink, looking away, “Yeah- if you break your bones when you’re young, they heal stronger.”

-The three women were instantly in Usagi’s face, all yelling at her in concern, “You willingly broke your fingers?!” “Are you okay? Any lasting damage?!” “What were you thinking, doing something so reckless?!”

-Usagi never had someone treat her like this, to most martial artist it was common knowledge, and most karate masters did the same thing. She had broken all of her fingers multiple times when she first started in karate, strengthening her bones.

-She felt a bit uneasy by their concern, looking away a bit embarrassed, “I… thank you for your concern. I’ve never had anyone… nobody’s ever reacted like this before.”

-They all froze, processing her words before they leaned back, looking a bit solemn now which made Usagi a bit frantic, worrying as she hadn’t meant to upset them, showing her kind heart.

-When Usagi washed off the facial cream, she was in awe, holding her cheeks, “It’s so smooth!” the other three woman giggled at her reaction, finding it amusing as they had all gone to her large bathroom to wash their faces.

-Parvati looked around, a bit confused, “Do you not have a bathtub?” Usagi, patting her face with a towel, nodded towards the other door in the room, “That leads to the onsen.” She opened the door, and their eyes went wide, seeing a mini private onsen, their eyes turning into sparkles as they turned back to Usagi.

-The taller woman giggled, “Most bathtubs don’t fit people my height, easily at least, so I invested in this quite a few years ago. It’s the best when it’s snowing, and I’ve got a jug of hot sake!”

-The three women shivered, having been victims to one too many of Raiden’s drinking parties, which made Usagi laugh warmly, and they couldn’t help but stare, seeing her joy.

-Agni was the next to visit her, catching Usagi on her way home from the mountain, her hair down and wet, calling out to her.

-She greeted him warmly, giving a polite smile as he caught up with her, “May I walk you home?” she was surprised by his question, but agreed.

-On the way Agni asked her simple questions, like her favorite food or favorite fruit, which surprised her, a bit curious as to why he wanted to know these things about her.

-She did answer each question, in turn asking them in return, to be polite, which made him smile warmly. He wasn’t really scary looking, to her anyway, as she had overheard some of the other rikishi saying he did look a bit alarming because he didn’t look human like many of the others.

-When they arrived at her home, Usagi invited him in for tea, as thanks for walking her home and he agreed, beaming brightly, before he forgot to duck, and his head smacked her doorframe.

-Agni did feel a bit embarrassed as he sat cross-legged, letting Usagi smooth a bandage over his forehead, as he had busted himself open, but did enjoy being doted on.

-Usagi did like seeing someone who was taller than her, besides her grandpa, as not many, at least in the Shinto pantheon, were as tall as her, as most Japanese men were usually on the shorter side, the same with women.

-Later that same day, Usagi was outside in her backyard, tending to her vegetable garden, when she heard someone call out her name and she turned, finding Brahma coming over.

-He was stoic looking, having a permanent resting bitch face, but Usagi wasn’t really bothered as he approached, seeing the basket of vegetables in her arms as she stood, greeting him with a polite bow.

-He looked at her garden behind her, “You’ve worked hard on this.” she smiled at his compliment, thanking him and he felt happy to see her smile as he came a bit closer, “I don’t recognize some of these vegetables, will you teach me.”

-Usagi knew Brahma as the creator god in Hindu religion, so his curiosity about something new was understandable, as he wanted to learn more.

-Usagi taught him about the vegetables and herbs she had growing in her garden, pointing out each one, kneeling down next to him while he was squatting.

-He surprised her by taking the basket when she stood, “I’ll carry this for you inside.” Her eyes were wide before she thanked him, offering to make him some tea as thanks which he agreed to. He was quiet compared to the other members of the Hindu pantheon, except for Vishnu and maybe Indra, but she didn’t mind, despite being quiet, he was good company.

-Rudra met Usagi the next morning at the dojo, greeting her warmly, “Would you like to spar with me?” and she agreed with a grin.

-They went to the outside sparring area, it was a little cool but pleasant, both were comfortable to be outside for the match.

-The two fighters started off a bit light, asking each other questions while exchanging blows and kicks, not taking each other too seriously, warming up.

-Rudra threw a harder punch, which Usagi caught easily, “Answer me this Usagi, did you find Shiva difficult to fight?”

-She surprised him by moving rapidly, leg sweeping him, but he backflipped, catching himself and springing back onto his feet, “I don’t know if difficult is the word I would use. He was fun to fight since I didn’t have to hold back.”

-Rudra caught one of her arms, grabbing it with two of his arms and tried to flip her but he cried out in shock as she easily picked him up, hauling him off the ground by the arm he was holding before throwing him in a judo throw, slamming him into the ground.

-He stared up at her in awe as she put her hands on her hips, grinning down at him before she offered him a hand, easily hauling him back up to his feet.

-He rubbed his upper left shoulder lightly, “Was that you holding back?” she grinned over at him, stunning him with her smile, “It was. If I wasn’t you’d probably be unconscious.” He laughed warmly, thinking she was joking, before realizing she was not.

-Loud laughter filled the air and the two turned, seeing Shiva walking over, punching his lower fists together, “Usagi~ can I have a turn now?” he was beaming up at her, little flowers appearing around him in glee.

-His enthusiasm to fight did throw Usagi off a bit, while Rudra was rolling his eyes, seeing Shiva not even trying to hide his affections for her.

-Just like before, Shiva didn’t start off too seriously, hopping around easily, dancing around Usagi, who was shocked when her strikes missed, hitting an after image.

-Shiva managed to get Usagi down to her knees, but she was quick to grab him by his neck, pinning him below her, but his legs wrapped around one of her arms and three of his arms grabbed her other arm, trying to flip her.

-Usagi breathed in deeply before standing up, holding Shiva up with ease, shocking both him and Rudra, their jaws both dropping as his arms let her one arm go, waving around to keep his balance before two of his hands grabbed her gi, holding himself up.

-She smiled up at him as he gawked down at her, shocked that she easily picked him up, “Do I even weigh anything to you?” she laughed warmly, stunning him before she grinned, “Like a sack a rice!” he pouted lightly, even more so when Rudra referred to him as Rice for the rest of the day.

-The following day was Usagi’s day off and she slept pretty late, well past nine and as she sat down to enjoy some hot tea to get going, “Usagi~ you home?”

-She wasn’t irritated with Varuna, who beamed up at her as she opened her front door for him, inviting him in, but she was beginning to feel a bit overwhelmed, if she had to use a word, with all the random visits.

-Varuna handed her a basket of persimmons, “Here this is for you! Raiden said they were in season and told me to share some with you.”

-Her eyes softened at the gift, “I think I have some dried ones too; I’ll make some tea and we can share these.” She missed the way his eyes sparkled, thinking he was just excited to have a snack.

-He ate a fresh one first then a dried one, his eyes turning into stars, “It’s the same fruit but it tastes totally different! It’s so much sweeter!!”

-Usagi smiled lightly at his reaction, thinking it was rather cute, “I made those ones last year, I prefer the ones that have been preserved more than the fresh ones. The hard work that goes into preparing them makes them much tastier!”

-Varuna gazed at her smile, entranced before he spoke, completely serious, “You look good when you smile, Usagi.” She started a bit, shocked at his words before her cheeks turned just a bit pink, looking away a bit bashfully, but saying nothing.

-Indra found Usagi the following day, holding a bag of groceries, some wrapped fish and vegetables she didn’t have growing in her garden.

-She was still wearing her gi, as she had finished training for the day and decided to shop on her way home, but Indra waved her down, calling out her name.

-She greeted him warmly, with a soft smile and he gave a small grin back, nodding towards the dojo, “You up for a match?” she glanced down to her groceries before she smiled, “If it’s a quick one, sure.”

-They went to the outdoor arena and Indra put out his cigarette and almost immediately charged at Usagi, who easily caught him, stunning him as she slammed him into the ground, “Fighting dirty I see~” he heard her tone, teasing him as they went back and forth for a while.

-A cawing bird then caught their attention after about ten minutes and Usagi’s eyes went wide, “My groceries!!” as a large crow flew off with her bag.

-Instantly she fell to her hands and knees, gloom surrounding her in anguish.

-Indra felt bad, scratching his cheek as he inadvertently caused this mess to happen, “C’mon Usagi, I’ll buy you new ones.” She was going to protest, but he heard nothing of it, having her take him to the places where she bought her groceries.

-She thanked him, once they were done shopping, giving him a warm, sincere smile, which made him stare from behind his bangs, before he gave her a soft nod and walked her home.

-Vishnu arrived home right as Usagi was finishing her dinner that same night, having prepared grilled salmon, rice, and tomato miso soup, something she had been craving.

-He was holding a bottle of nice plum wine, handing it to her, “This is for you, Raiden recommended it to me.” she thanked him before inviting him in, “I apologize but I don’t have enough fish for the both of us, but I have extra rice and soup, if you would like to join me.”

-He put his hand over his heart, bowing his head lightly, “Thank you for your hospitality.” Usagi wanted to ask him why they had all been visiting her so often, honestly feeling a bit drained as she set the food down before him as well as a mug of tea which he thanked her for.

-He watched her thank for the food and he spoke, “Why do you say thanks before each meal?” she smiled, swallowing her rice, “It’s to thank the hard work of everyone, the earth for growing the ingredients, the rivers and ocean for the fish, the farmers, fishermen, and butchers. We thank everyone and everything that goes into preparing our meals.”

-His eyes were wide at her explanation, not realizing how deep the meaning behind it actually was, before his eyes softened and he nodded, thanking her for the explanation.

-His hands moved to the back of his head and removed his mask, setting it on the table and Usagi’s eyes went a bit wide as his handsome face was revealed.

-She kept composed, as he wasn’t the first handsome man she had seen, her recent guests were all handsome in their own way, and beautiful in the case of Shiva’s wives.

-Usagi’s gaze fell just a bit, her eyes focusing on her rice, ‘They’re all so attractive… so why are they bothering with someone like me? Why are they all coming around so much?’

-After seeing Vishnu off, wishing him well after sharing some of the wine with him, she sighed softly, shoulders sagging before she lifted one of her hands to her opposite shoulder, rubbing gently as she dealt with the dishes before going to soak in her onsen.

-The following day, Usagi was surprised but also relieved when none of her guests sought her out, letting her have an alone day for once.

-She was enjoying her time at her mountain training grounds, where new boulders appear almost daily, due to magic, so she can punch them to rubble as she wishes, training her body.

-Usagi was lifting a large boulder above her head, throwing it into a pile to clear out her area when a voice spoke up, “Whoa- are you Usagi?!” she turned and was surprised to see a child with the head of an elephant.

-Despite having not met this child before, Usagi knew who this was, Ganesha, Parvati and Shiva’s son, as Parvati had shown the martial artist pictures of him during their self-care day.

-She turned with a smile as the child approached, “I am, and you’re Ganesha, right?”

-He beamed up at her, his hands on his hips, “That’s me! Papa was right- you are strong!!” she scratched her cheek, feeling a bit embarrassed by his words, but at the same time, his praise made her feel a little fluffy.

-The praise of children always made her feel happier compared to her peers, as she knows kids are brutally honest, but Usagi appreciates that honesty, “Did you come all the way up here on your own?” He beamed, proud of himself, “Mr. Raiden told me how to get here after I asked where you were.”

-Ganesha stayed to the side while Usagi trained, rattling off tons of questions, asking her about her fighting style, what it was like fighting his papa and his uncles, Rudra and Indra, and about the food she had prepared.

-Usagi took it all in stride, answering each of them, making Ganesha laugh when she easily picked him up to move him to another rock, picking him up easily, which made her grin.

-Once she was done she rinsed off under the waterfall and Ganesha laughed, splashing in the river, “It’s so cold!!” which made her giggle lightly.

-She offered him a hand, “Wanna head back to the dojo now?” he beamed, taking her hand, “Let’s go! Mama and papa should be wondering where I am.” She froze, turning white before she spoke, having to ask, “Did you come here without telling anyone?”

-He looked surprised by her question, like he didn’t understand it, “No I told Mr. Raiden when I told him I was going to come and find you!”

-Usagi paled, knowing her grandpa had the attention span of a fly if it had to do something other than fighting, eating, drinking, or Thrud, sighing softly, “Well let’s get back soon so they don’t worry.”

-As she expected, the dojo was in an uproar, everyone tearing the place apart looking for Ganesha, panicking.

-Usagi looked down at Ganesha with a smile, “I’m gonna yell, so cover your ears for a second, okay?” he beamed, nodding and did as she asked before she pulled her arms in tightly at her side, almost like she was going to punch something, tensing her abs before, “KNOCK IT OFF!!!!”

-Her voice carried through the dojo, stunning it into silence as the door to the main dojo slid open, revealing Usagi and Ganesha, safe and sound to everyone in attendance.

-While Parvati and Shiva checked over their son, Usagi was pouting up to her grandpa, “Ganesha said he told you where he was going! Why did you let the dojo get so worked up?!”

-Shiva turned, “WHAT?! YOU KNEW?! RAIDEN YOU BASTARD!!” before he charged at your grandfather, the two of them locked up in a fight while Usagi rolled her eyes at them.

-Parvati instantly relaxed, “If you were with Usagi, then I know you were safe.” Ganesha beamed as the three of them went to the wrap around patio as the other gods and the rikishi came out to watch the fight, “Usagi’s super strong mama! She picked me up so easily and broke boulders with her bare hands! Then we played under the waterfall! It was really cold!!”

-She giggled as Kali sat on the other side of Ganesha, with Parvati on his other side, Usagi next to her and Durga next to Usagi as his mother giggled, “I wondered why you were damp when I hugged you.”

-Ganesha then looked over at Usagi, “Hey-hey Usagi, so when are you gonna marry papa and the others?” the four women froze, turning to Ganesha, the three co-wives instantly flushing as they had been discussing it, the ten gods, about all of them marrying Usagi and he wanted to know too.

-Usagi was stunned, her eyes wide before she grinned, “I don’t know about marriage Ganesha. Marriage has never been a big thing in my life to fuss over.” The four looked at her, worried as her tone was a bit softer, sadder, before Durga spoke, “What do you mean Usagi?”

-The taller woman rubbed the back of her head, scratching lightly, “I’ve never been approached by a man before, unless if it was to fight. So, when it came to romance and relationships, I was the one that was always alone. Nobody I’ve ever met wants a woman twice their size who can break boulders with her bare hands and break log with her thighs.”

-Their eyes were sparkly, Kali beaming up, “You can do that with your thighs?!” Usagi blushed a bit, her cheeks turning a bit pink before she grinned, leaning her forearms on her knees, hunching over, “Yeah, was able to do it back on earth. But it’s stuff like that, that turns men away from pursuing me romantically. I’ve only had it happen once here in Valhalla, but it turned out to be a cruel prank.”

-Their eyes widened, Parvati’s eyes narrowing, “What did you just say?” Usagi looked a bit worried, as she hadn’t meant to upset her friends, but explained, looking out at the fight, “There was a man who approached me, asking me out on a date, even giving me flowers, saying he was attracted to me. I showed up to the date, dressed up with Thrud’s and Hlokk’s help, and he was there with his friends… they laughed so much at me so much that-that I… he said nobody would want a woman like me, nobody but a beast or a bear would- would want me...”

-They could only stare in horror at what they heard, listening without judging, hearing her voice crack a few times, breaking their hearts, hearing the torment she went through.

-Usagi was quick to hide her pain behind a bright smile, “It all ended well however, I was crying too much to be able to walk home without hurting myself or others, so I came to grandpa, and he said he would take care of it. I found out the next day he beat all of them up and broke the bastard’s spine who tricked me, putting him in the hospital and threatening to do worse if he ever treated me or any other woman like that again.”

-They gawked, a bit in shock before Kali smiled, “Raiden’s a good grandfather.” Usagi nodded, giving her a grin in agreement.

-Once the fight was over, everyone said their goodbyes and headed home; along the way to their home, Kali, Parvati, and Durga told the other seven gods, what happened to Usagi, which immediately infuriated most of them, hearing of the cruel treatment.

-Shiva punched his right hands into his left hands, “Sounds like an ass beating to me!” but his wives were able to keep him by their sides.

-Varuna then spoke, “That’s probably why she reacted in such a way when I flirted with her the other day, almost like she was uneasy with it.” Vishnu nodded in agreement, “Agreed, seems like all her past trauma and the incident with that lowlife did a number on her, she hasn’t really reacted to any of us in a romantic way, right?”

-Agreements went around, the Hindu gods quickly realizing that Usagi didn’t realize they had been flirting with her, courting her, she just thought they were being friendly since they were Raiden’s friends.

-With each moment spent with her, either as a group or on their own, they were quickly falling with this warrior woman, all of them wanting to know more and more about her, wanting to get closer to her.

[cursed-princess-club]

I wonder your opinion regarding CPC ships, at least woth the pre-existing 6 couples in CPC wiki (https://cursed-princess.fandom.com/wiki/Category:Relationship) a.k.a Maria/Blaine, Lance/Lorena, Frederick/Gwendolyn, Jolie/Nell, Jack/Lilyth (Leelathae). Thank you for seeing my message and sorry for asking too many at once!!!

ohhhh i find all these relationships interesting! Lots to unpack probably. this is all probably known stuff but uhh uh uh Yes

maria/blaine: you know when older sibling dilemmas. People Who get each other kind of but not really but also a little bit maybe . similarities but also really strong differences. yes, the pressure of being the eldest, but relations to those siblings greatly varying, and the contrasts in their support systems. Trying to put this idea into words raughh. HOW DO I SAY. well uh... idk idk something about the two most dedicated to the marriage the role they play for their families. Something about that relationship becoming what it is with the obsession and idolization then the heartbreak then the understanding and such- and i say this as someone who wasnt really invested in maria and blaine!!! The DRAMA dude

lance/lorena: good people! who seemed to vibe the best at first! Not the right place or the right time??? maybe ?? In another life they wouldve been gym bros yk. they adored each other but were also completely set up to feel bitter once the whole arrangement was revealed to be... Yeah.

gwen/fred: it's like if the two most open hearted doe eyed maybe maybe not insecure and self deprecating friends accidentally hurt each others feelings a lot/keep scaring each other. And stuff. u know how it is. I enjoy them and their development a lot! They need to catch a break so bad

jolie/nell: There is so much to explore with this relationship but it happens of screen so shout out the wonderful fan content of them out there! i like their dynamic :) haha wouldnt it be funny is jolie became an optometrist. That sounds like some shit lambcat would pull actually

lilyth/jack: veryvery VERY interesting. leelathae's story in general, what she gave up for jack?? the consequences?? Very compelling. The story of an immigrant woman marrying a foreigner and following him back to his country, and being looked down upon and his parents locked in the mindset that you dont belong here and you're tainting our bloodline- and how now she can no longer belong to her home island ever again, because of tradition and how she chose to leave it all behind. and yet she still loves him, and she gave up everything to be with him, because it's what made her happy. Ohhh and how that's been passed onto gwen. Mmmmm.

jamie/leopold: dareisay pygmalion and galatea type beat. Artist and muse. Muse and artist. the gwenfred situation speedrun, because their communication skills are better. people who create and put their passion into it all. and recognize that in each other perhaps. oooooo..

[septembersghost]

chronic illness flare has turned me into a soaking wet paper doll of a person, but i have tag games to catch up on and that's a fun distraction 😊💕

tagged by jenn my sweetie @castiel

show your lock screen, last celeb photo, and last song listened to

oh this is probably going to be embarrassing. okay so my most frequently used device unfortunately doesn't have a customizable lock screen. i am very lucky to have a secondary device i use quite often these days which was a gift from a friend who didn't need it anymore, and that one had a really pretty floral/lyric from the archer for ages, but now... (if i hadn't saved this picture of taylor and benji, the lock screen and photo would've been a neat display of matched insanity, could've hit a trifecta with the song too but fob swooped in at the last second.) anyway...

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tagged by (polk! salad!) dani @valkaryah: share my top 5 songs I've been listening to.

according to my current replay playlist, and without repeating artists, otherwise this would be very skewed, it's 1. any day now - elvis presley, 2. heartbreak feels so good - fall out boy, 3. all of the girls you loved before - taylor swift, 4. look at us now (honeycomb) - daisy jones and the six, 5. all my ghosts - lizzy mcalpine (the way lizzy has not left my rotation for a year!)

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tagged by darlings @thebohemianbelle and @waxandwanewitchery: when you get this, you have to put 5 songs you actually listen to

similar to the above, but different!!! if i snagged this from that weekly replay playlist, it would essentially be all of the same artists because my listening habits have been in a cycle of comfort lately, but i'll choose five that i do listen to a lot that are also in the list and weren't represented. 1. golden - harry styles, 2. say you love me - fleetwood mac, 3. just one of those things - frank sinatra, 4. supercut - lorde, 5. easy to love - ella fitzgerald

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tagged by @bloodmoonlits 😘 my top 4 current albums (the taste on yours, i love seeing recognition for holly!) mine are going to be so predictable here please send help. (i am making an executive decision to exclude taylor from this, but red tv and lover are actually battling it out for a top spot at the moment 💖)

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tagged by @headfullofpresley and @castiel: talk about 8 shows as a way to get to know me better. this is unexpectedly hard because rarely are the shows i most dearly love ones that i would openly recommend to another human being haha 😳 so let that be a disclaimer here as i wrack my brain. in no particular order:

(1). better call saul: i will never be as deranged about anything on television as i was about this show, scheming times were had, tragedies were felt, cinnamon rolls were eaten. kisses sealed at city hall, flowers blooming in the desert. my unpopular qualms with the last few episodes/ending aside, it was such a gorgeously layered, meticulously crafted show, i loved those characters so much, it was SUCH a cinematic treat visually, and nearly every step was finely tuned and written in such a thought-provoking way. every step was perfectly acted. i could still talk about it forever. kim wexler queen of my heart, you will always be famous. you don't save me. i save me. (shout-out to the magnificent, and inarguably definitive, predecessor breaking bad.)

(2). penny dreadful: this show is a glorious horror, a mess of victoriana, a fanfiction potpourri of some of the most famous characters of literature, no sane person should invest themselves in it. unfortunately, i, not sane, love it to the bone (except for the terrible ending, you'll catch a pattern here), predominantly because vanessa ives means everything to me. the flame to which all moths gather. defiant martyr of my heart. no one will ever be like her!!! she is my fierce compassionate sickgirl heroine, fighting against the shadows of her world, her soul forever unbowed and true. even when she fears that lost, she holds close her dignity, her ability to love, her perseverance. the poetry with which the show, particularly the first two seasons, was written is unmatched. it's gothic horror in a frame that no one else on television has ever attempted, and it felt made for me when i first watched it in january of 2020. for though it is macabre and gruesome and dark and steeped in grief, it's also about beauty and devotion and resilience and connection. "i see no wildflowers here."/"then you need to look closer." and the everlasting heartbeat, no matter what john logan did to her, my vanessa. something yet remains. i remain.

(3). bates motel: fun fact, i only started bates last february, i've watched S1-4 more than once, and yet still have not finished S5. i keep trying but i don't want to do it! it's a rare one where i already know the ending is fitting, i just keep pushing it off. it's a very difficult show, it deals with heavy themes, there's triggering and horrific stuff in the pilot alone that would immediately stop me from telling people to watch (or at least give me pause), yet at the same time i think it unexpectedly becomes one of the most brilliantly done pieces of television i've ever seen. they have this audacious idea - what if we made a prequel of one of the most iconic movies of all-time? - and somehow not only pull it off, but end up making that story richer and more meaningful. we KNOW we're plummeting towards inevitable tragedy and still wish it could be diverted. we are fascinated and repulsed and aching for the bonds these people share, the desperation as they try to survive. every character is flawed in ways that the story tries to claw humanity out of, and it does something distinct in never shaming or vilifying any of the protagonists for the wretched things they do, never talking down to the audience saying we should be judging them or wishing ill on them, but rather examining WHY they are this way, why they act and react as they do, how they have been bent into these strange shapes. it exhumes your empathy and refuses to let you turn away from the difficulties of their world. the house looms forever like a breathing entity in the background. we will always end up in the basement, but how it comes to happen is the more important tale. and it has the incomparable powerhouse of norma bates, wonderful, awful, extraordinary, complicated, half queen, half little girl. she was like a miracle. as with vanessa, i will never forget her. (another pattern you'll see here: WOMEN.)

(4). remington steele: this was the very first "grown up" show i was ever allowed to watch with my mom, in syndication when i was a kid, and i just love it so much. it's such a delight. 80s glamour! mysteries and hi-jinks! THEE ultimate will-they/won't they romance, and she doesn't even know his real name! try this for a deep dark secret - the great detective remington steele? he doesn't exist. i invented him. follow - i always loved excitement, so i studied, and apprenticed, and put my name on an office, but absolutely nobody knocked down my door... i can recite the whole first season intro monologue, burned into my brain from age twelve. we just finished a rewatch a few weeks ago and i miss them already. laura holt is intelligent, beautiful, romantic, indefatigable, the closest thing the small screen has had to a classic noir inspired brassy leading lady, and was FORMATIVE for me.

(5). crazy-ex girlfriend: they put a musical on television for me. immediate hit right there. many of the numbers are parodies/homage, cheeky and clever but still heartfelt. then it became one of the funniest, most poignant, most empathetic, most memorable explorations of infatuation, self-worth, and most significantly mental health that i have ever seen. there have been a couple of other musical concept shows (smash, notably), but none that achieved what cxg did. it's an extraordinary work and sometimes i can't believe it was allowed to exist, and got to flourish the way it did. rebecca bunch could so easily be called unlikable - selfish, impulsive, obsessive - and yet she is so lovable and so real through all of her flaws, how can you not root for her, laugh with her, sing with her, cry with her? how can you not want her to get better? you find, eventually, it was never even about the guys, though they're fun to explore in all their neuroses too. they're almost...irrelevant. "a diagnosis" will never not make me weep. the show is just so important. this is about the story of a woman who learns how to recover, how to build true friendships (#gurlgroup4eva), and how to embrace herself.

(6). that girl: another one my mom brought me up on, and there are other shows i could mention here (i love lucy, the dick van dyke show, the addams family) as far as prototypes of modern comedy go (there is a direct line from that girl to the mary tyler moore show to friends and new girl), but that girl is particularly dear to me because it was influential to my mom, and because ann marie is a character all her own. she's quirky, she's determined, she's got the greatest 60s fashion, she's constantly getting herself into situations, she's one of the very first sitcom heroines to be a "single girl in the city" and to directly confront sexism (in multiple ways, but especially in the workplace and in the entertainment industry), she is loved and adored by her boyfriend (one of the best and most patient of all fictional boyfriends), but she is not defined by don, they complement each other. marlo thomas, the icon that you are.

(7). pretty little liars: listen. i know. I KNOW. it's silly, it's ridiculous, it has a host of issues, but i was hooked. and the thing is, though the mysteries fizzled and the reveals didn't make sense, what mattered were those girls. female friendship was the heart of everything in that story, they stood by each other and supported each other through every danger, toil, and snare, and even when they messed up, they forgave each other and came back together as a team every time. -A hardly matters, but the liars are everything. young volcanoes. aria, hanna, emily, and spencer all mean so much to me for very different reasons, and spencer especially. my genius, tenacious, too-caring girl. down these mean streets a girl must go who is not herself mean.

(8). supernatural: sigh. would be remiss not to mention it, right? have, in fact, written what amount to personal essays and fanciful poetics on this blog explaining at length what it once meant to me, have delved into the folklore urban legend americana of it all, and while i have gained a certain distance from it since the palpable breakdown i had from its ending that we do not acknowledge, those entries would hold true. it was so formative that things which are on this list would not be here without it, and i know that. it's so inextricable that i can't tell what is a thread connected to it in my life and what isn't at times. premiered on my birthday and presented me one of the greatest loves of my life, who i will always carry with me. i would not quite be me without dean. i would not be here right now without dean, in more ways than one. and i do my best to be brave.

(honorable mentions to shows tam and jenn had on their lists: the x-files, tvd/the originals, the marvelous mrs. maisel; other honorable mentions: btvs/a:ts, bones, dexter, fleabag S2, gilmore girls, the good place, jane the virgin, nancy drew/hardy boys mysteries, orphan black, the haunting of bly manor, select episodes of doctor who, i am quite certain i'm forgetting a bunch!)

for this last one i am tagging @nerdfaerie​, @arthurwilde, @desireearmfeldt, @someoneoffthestreet, @freakwiththeknifecollection, @bcyoureallthatmakessense, @setyourfireonme, @dewintering, @joons, @thebohemianbelle, @beckybloomwood, @takeawaythepain, and @wickedhawtwexler, but also any of you who wants to do this, or any of the rest of these, please do, and then tag me!!! i love to see them! i apologize profusely for the pervasive brainrot. 💟

[dearweirdme]

Hi. Could you share a beautiful tought you have of TaeKook. Maybe how they make you feel, why do you support them. Thank you 🫰

Hi anon!

This is actually a bit of a difficult question for me. Because the answer is layered. First of all, I love them as artists. I love BTS as a whole (seriously, I have a personalized BTS playlist I play everyday on the drive to and from work), and I love Tae and Jk’s voices and performances as solo artists as well. I love Layover, I loved his performances, and I loved the promo footage we got. I’m so glad we got to see this side of Tae. We haven’t heard Jk’s album yet, but I’m super excited about it, because I love to see him perform as well. Due to this question I’m trying to choose whose voice I love most, but I’m unable to. I love Tae’s deep warm voice, but I also love Jk’s voice and the way he makes me feel emotions when he sings. I don’t actually have to choose, so I won’t 😁.

Aside from loving them as artists, I also love their individual characters. Tae might be my bias, but I have so much love for Jk as well. I really enjoy Jk’s humor, and the way he expresses his emotions. Jk isn’t afraid to feel and that’s something I really admire. He might be a private person, but he invests a lot in sharing himself with army. I think, though he might not always express it best, Jk loves hard. I love to see his pouty face, I love to see him affectionate with his members, I love to see him master stuff, I love how he’s grown into such a beautiful person. And Tae.. i kinda identify with Tae. Tae is often described as weird, and he acknowledges that himself as well. He has a different way of thinking. My handle isn’t ‘dearweirdme’ for nothing (has been that way even before I was in fandom), because I have often felt the same. Though I have gone through a journey of accepting and understanding my weirdness for a very long time, getting to know Tae has helped me in ways. His confidence (or at least the way he shows confidence) has made me lay other people’s opinions beside me more. Aside from identifying with Tae on a certain level, I also find him so sweet and caring and I love how he can be absolutely (i want to say ‘lethal’ 😂) bold and sharp at times.

Tae and Jk as a couple.. geezz it breaks my heart at times when I think of all the hardships they have had to go through. Ofcourse being a partnof BTS already meant they had to have hard times, but falling in love with each other certainly set them for issues the other members didn’t experience. What I love is how they have always kept that strong connection. I had an anon say this recently also, but I’ll repeat.. there hasn’t been a period in time where Tae and Jk didn’t show how close and comfortable they actually are and have been. People talk about possible breakups (and sure there have been visible hard times) but I wouldn’t know where to place a durable breakup anywhere. They are so sweet together, so soft.. so caring, so knowing. I think these men know each other inside out. The way Tae touches Jk, the way Jk looks at Tae with stars in his eyes. They actually visibly go soft by looking at each other.

Now my personal reasons for being an ally (yes, I’m straight). I’ve always been an ally, yet not always an active/vocal one. I have queer friends and acquaintances, I wouldn’t be opposed to dating someone who isn’t male, but I’ve only ever been attracted to males before. I started to get more vocal/active in supporting the queer community when my kid was born. All the heteronormativity just didn’t sit right with me. People were so quick to talk about ‘boys being boys’ stuff and I just want him to be happy with whatever he chooses. My kid a bit of a ‘softer’ boy, playing with mylittle ponies as much as he did with cars for instance. So that’s when I decided to actively show him that he has options. I make sure to read him inclusive books, I always tell him ‘boyfriend or girlfriend’ when we talk about being in love, I explain that there’s all sorts of families and all sorts of relationships (age appropriate) and I do this publicly.. which means I often correct statements made by others that are not inclusive (which is not always appreciated, but my kid’s feelings of safety are just more important). I just think, I want him to know that everything is fine by me. If he turns out to be queer, I’d love for him to not really have to come out, but just tell me ‘mom, i’m going out with a boy tonight.’.

All those things combined are what makes me support Tae and Jk I think. If it comes down to it, I just support love of any kind.

[bisluthq]

I think I’m sort of in the middle? Taylor knows the amount of hate her exes get when she does these things, it’s not like she’s unaware of her “power”. So in situations like this, and other stuff like the Ginny and Georgia tweet, it does feel like she wants her fans to actively hate on people. But at the same time, she’s built her whole career on sharing her experiences with people and that’s why people relate so much to her. She’s dialed that back so much since the earlier days, she doesn’t do the secret messages anymore. I saw a video the other day showing that debut had “to all the boys who thought they could break my heart, guess what? Here are 14 songs written about you. HA.”. She’s not doing that anymore, probably because she’s a 34 year old woman, but still. She’s clearly dialed that back and it doesn’t look like she’s actively trying to attack anyone. I don’t know where the line is between sharing your story and sending your fans to undeservingly attack your ex. I would also like to add that people exaggerated how good Joe was, he had to be the best at literally everything. If Joe didn’t complain about that, he can’t complain about people making him out to be worse than he actually is. It also makes sense that when Taylor put him on such a high pedestal (again, higher than he should’ve probably been), and then fans put him on an even higher one (Taylor mentioned many problems even in the good songs that I feel fans ignored), that the fall from it would be even bigger. Fans talk about him as if he betrayed them. They’re mad at him because they thought he was perfect and, since Taylor can do no wrong, they have to blame him for anything and everything that could have gone wrong. I think Taylor is at fault for making her fan base what it is, but she also couldn’t have possible known, as a petty 16 year old, that it would ever come to this. So idk, there are some things she might be able to do, but I don’t think they would help that much

I agree with literally EVERYTHING you’ve said (except that there are things she can do bc idk what those would be lol). The reason I was personally so invested in T/J is the songs NEVER made him - or her - out to be perfect and it felt like such a real relationship that was so wonderfully open to us. She made it very clear IN THE SONGS that he’s moody, that he gets cold sometimes and pulls away, that he can be a little sanctimonious and that he can be a little flirtatious with other girls but it never goes further than that. That’s all in the lyrics. And those aren’t great qualities but like come on, you’re never gonna find someone perfect and for 6.5 years-ish it worked. She also made it clear that she’s moody and temperamental and overreacts to shit, that she wants to be acknowledged for the goddess that she is (which imo she is but like I see why when you’re living with her you wouldn’t necessarily feel that way every day), that she takes a lot of things super personally, that she’s petty and a lil basic and that she’s got a whole host of other issues. That’s ALL like FROM HER LYRICS. That’s WHY I was invested in that relationship. Because it was the first time I heard an artist in real time speak through something that was weird and complex and flawed but obviously beautiful??? And I did kinda feel like a friend lol ngl because she shared so much. It almost felt like my friend K’s relationship (the one that kinda set me up with my now bf like she introduced us not expecting a romantic connection but lol neither were we - she was just like “I know you two would have fun together because you’re so similar”) where I constantly think they’re about to break up but I also wouldn’t be shocked if they outlast my bf and me because we… have our own cockroaches in our heads and shit lol and we’re both very temperamental people and like we say this is forever (hence the bracelets) but like what is forever lol yk? He’s tried forever before and failed and I’m personally not willing to commit to that.

fans chose to ignore the lyrics and focus on her telling sessioners he’s the perfect boyfriend which like… should remind fans that sessioners aren’t her friends lol. No one is perfect. She wasn’t claiming he is in the music - which imo is very honest from her POV and that’s why *I* love her. She obviously wasn’t going around claiming that to her friends (“I talk shit with my friends”). But like when she met with randoms wtf else do you want her to say??? Do you meet random people and tell them like “my partner is ok for the most part like I’ll stay but he/she pisses me off sometimes”?

as for connecting all this to teen Taylor idk what you expect lol like do u want a teenage girl to like… not hate her exes??? Especially ones who cheated on her (Samx6) or who moved on really quick (not domestic violence Drew)?? Like obvi she was pissed off and she didn’t expect it to get to… this when she was lol.

but yeah I agree with your thesis and like idk Swifties are weird and if you listen to the music and like apply it to your life she makes the best music in the world imo. I’m not as invested in T/TK as T/J yet because I don’t have the music. It’s the music that really makes me love her. If you don’t love her music or don’t understand it and just like harass her exes like that’s ok the internet is a wild place go ahead but idk if you’re a fan of the music/artist or you’re just a weird person on the internet (of whom there are many).

[waitmyturtles]

I went a little off my usual path last night to take in a movie I got curious about while following one of my favorite subbers on Twitter -- BL Metamorphosis, or The Edge of Metamorphosis. This won’t be the longest review as the movie was pretty straightforward, but it was WHOLESOME and LOVELY, and if you like stories with older folks making friends with younger folks, this is right up your alley!

And I’m a touch of a sucker for these kinds of stories -- I happened to not grow up with grandparents (immigrant life, grandparents were in the home countries, we rarely visited the home countries, etc.), so stories about younger people befriending older folks just really touch my heart and make me feel a tad envious. But anyway --

An older woman, a widow, goes to a bookstore to look for cookbooks. The cookbook section has been redesigned into a BL section (HELL YEAH). She takes a look at an interesting cover, and away she goes. The 17-year-old bookstore employee who helps her becomes curious, and after a couple quick chats, she (the employee -- her name is Urara) stops by the obasan’s (Yuki’s) house to drop off more BL recommendations.

It is a super warm story, in part about Yuki supporting Urara as Urara preps for her college exams and tries to figure out what she wants to do with her life. It ties together a couple of themes -- quiet awakenings on the part of three protagonists (Yuki, Urara, and the manga artist that Yuki and Urara both love); rectifying or preventing regrets from a young age; being a supportive and loving friend, and most importantly for me, recognizing that even if you find a calling in life, that that calling can be difficult, at times not fun, but fulfilling in the end. I loved seeing Urara find her calling, finding what she wants to do with her life (which is to draw manga), giving it her best shot, and while she struggled, realizing that she had fun with it. All while being supported by the excited and invested Yuki.

Like I said, it was lovely to watch something off my usual beaten path, as I contemplate the use of suki in BL (lol). It also has Takahashi Kyohei of Naniwa Danshi, the same idol group that features Michieda Shunsuke, if you’re into that sort of thing. If you want a wholesome break from any heartthrob action that you’re watching, I totally recommend this movie!

@furritsubs​ -- THANK YOU THANK YOU!

[becauseimanicequeen]

Pride Month Watch: The Warp Effect (ep 1-4)

I've put this off for far too long. It's about damn time to watch The Warp Effect. And what better time to do it than during Pride Month?

I'm going into this knowing very little about the show. I know which actors are in it, I know that New's character ends up in the future after some shit happens, and I know it's a Jojo show. That's about it.

Let's dive in!

I'm only 15 minutes into this show and Fluke's character is my favorite. Can't remember his name, but he's my favorite.

Oh, his name is Army.

Don't know why I have to fall for the bully, but here we are... (Same old story when it comes to me and fictional characters, lol.)

Look at this intelligent, serious, amazing woman...

Then Alex cuts in with his inner monologue when she's laying out some facts and being serious...

Dude, are you even listening? Hate to break it to you, but if you're into women, periods are your business too.

Ice is such a little shit for constantly throwing his brother under the bus.

I LOVE HIM!

Oh, lord. Silvy (Mollie) is out to kill me.

But I don't mind. I don't mind. AT. ALL.

This scene...

Dude, a dick alone isn't always enough. I hate to break it to you, but your dick is not magical. Just saying.

Seriously...

She never said she hates men. She said women can have orgasms without dicks. That's a fact. Interpreting that as hate against men is your problem.

Hating men has nothing to do with one's sexuality.

Now, get out of the fucking way so she can go hook up with Alex (who happens to be a dude, btw). Because I'm pretty sure this is about to happen. And that's how much she hates men...

Wait, Army's a doc in the future? Oh, lord...

Why is he so fine?

As a former metalhead...

The Slipknot and Metallica posters sent me down memory lane. Is this a Jojo thing? Rock bands were also a feature in Only Friends (and he was a screenwriter and director for both).

I didn’t expect this…

But it also makes sense, in a way. (So this is the predecessor to the dog mask in Playboyy?)

This man…

I love him so much.

Hi Pepzi!

Irl director of KinnPorsche and My Stand-In.

I love Jean…

With my entire heart!

I didn’t think I could love her more, but look at her place…

There’s art everywhere. As a visual artist myself, I have a huge soft spot for people who love art. Yes, I’m biased like that.

But I also love Army…

And all his shenanigans. I’m biased like this too, lol.

See…

Women don’t need dicks to feel pleasure.

The way Army looks at Joe…

Makes me love him so much more. The things his gaze made me feel were illegal. (It also makes me even more excited for Your Dear Daddy. Give it to me! Right now!)

Relatable…

I love how real this show feels (tackling subjects like real menstruation issues, showing that safe sex is important, being sex-positive, and everything being messy just like real life is/can be, etc.) and having good representation (different sexualities, and now we have a non-binary character in Mollie, whom I absolutely love). I’m only four episodes into the show and I’m invested. Give me more.

Kim’s reaction to this conversation is so me…

Considering peeps with vaginas can have a great time and orgasm using only fingers, it doesn’t matter how big your dick is honey. Just saying.

All it took was a brief meeting with Joe and Army is gone…

Right down memory lane...

Good for him. Good for us.

Oh, my man is totally gone…

He wants Joe and I want him to want Joe.

And Joe... He's lost in the sauce…

In a locker room… At his workplace… These men… lmao.

Btw, why do I get the feeling that Army outed Joe in the past? And that's why Joe was so hostile at first. Could be wrong about this, though...

I’m loving this series so far. I love the mess, the chaos, the diverse characters, Mollie, the women, Army and Joe, the women, Ice being an ice-cold bitch to his brother, and did I mention the women?

I want to see more, so it's time to dive into the next episode.

[yuniemaki]

hihi! i just wanted to say i absolutely adore your fics so much 😭 i've read through most of your fics, and the way you characterize both beidou and ningguang is so * chef's kiss " 👌

i also wanted to ask - do you have any writing tips? i've been writing for a little over a year and i'm looking for ways i could possibly improve my writing (apart from the generic 'work on your vocab' and 'read a lot')

thank you!

Hello anon! First off thank you it always warms my heart to know there are people out there who love the meals i cook for myself!!! THANK YOU!!

As for tips - honestly, my main tip is: study others. Read with purpose. The process of writing is, in some ways, similar to drawing. Writing is about storytelling. You can perfect the "art" of writing and your sentences could paint the most beautiful images in the mind's eye, but if your story falls flat, you'll go nowhere.

Read a movie script. Read scriptwriting tips. Read speech writing tips. Read game development bibles. Play games and read the lore. Read (or watch) about how the narratives were developed. Read stories that break conventions. Read short stories, read poems, read long form narratives, read comics.

Study how, with movie scripts, they paint a full picture and story with so few words. How they tell a story through nothing but key visuals and dialogue.

Study how the best games do this in similar ways, yet distinctly differently from movies.

Study how comics tell their story. How you feel when you read a great comic. How you're sucked into the scene, how they give you just enough information to get invested but do not stifle your imagination.

Study the creator's styles. Observe how movie scripts differ from one another in the same genre. In books, read beyond the story. See how Jeffery Deaver writes suspense - not with fluffy words, but with the cadence of his sentences. See how Melissa Marr moves the plot and evokes emotion with nothing but character reactions and dialogue, and like two sentences on description. Even in fanfictions, see how different writers setup the same theme.

I binge-read or binge-watch or binge-game by theme a lot, and in doing so I study the differences on how writers approach the exact same message. Not the story, mind you, but their style - do they do it in a poetic, artsy kinda way? A dialogue-heavy way? Expository? Through other characters? What about the execution resonates with me?

And then I bookmark them, go away, and write on the same theme, drawing on the 10 stories I've read on the same theme. Sometimes, I keep them open in tabs, the way artists use references. I follow their sentence structures and styles. Of course these aren't published, but they have a very clear influence on when I do start working on something I want to share.

All stories have a simple, resonant message at its core; there's no such thing as an original story. The key is to study how its core themes were delivered - studying the style of the story, and picking out the methods of execution that resonate with you.

And that's how you develop a distinct writer's voice.

Umm I hope that helps! I'm not on tumblr very often these days but feel free to drop more asks!

[themovieblogonline]

TIFF 2023: DEAR JASSI Is A Terrifying True Story Directed With Restraint By Tarsem Singh

Of all the movies at the Toronto International Film Festival 2023, one of the most awaited is Dear Jassi. The true story about a Canadian honor killing is the subject matter of this somber and held-back retelling by director Tarsem Singh. The film itself is a difficult watch for those who followed the real-life events when they occurred. But will be absolutely upsetting for audiences going in without much knowledge about the true story. But read my Dear Jassi review to find out why you still need to watch this movie, despite the real-life terror it may invoke. Please note that while the movie is based on actual real-life events, my Dear Jassi review will avoid spoilers, for audiences unaware of the true story. Dear Jassi Is Entirely Based On Real Events Without going into too many details about the true story, Dear Jassi focuses on a star-crossed love story between Canadian-born and raised Jaswinder (Pavia Sidhu) and an Indian athlete and rickshaw driver, Mithu (Yugam Sood). While visiting family in India from Canada, Jaswinder, aka Jassi, meets and falls in love with Mithu. Their long-distance love story begins with letters, a language barrier and eventually international phone conversations. However, due to their difference in status, as Jassi comes from an affluent family in Canada, while Mithu is from a lower-middle class family in India, their love story feels doomed. Dear Jassi is a simple story told even simpler by director Tarsem Singh. The movie begins with a captivating panning of the camera from a narrator, which sets the tone for the story plays out very straightforwardly. But in its simplicity, it’s able to capture the audience’s interest and become invested in the stories of these two people. To the point where we grimace at their poor decision-making as young kids in love, but also smile at the sweeter moments. There’s beauty in Dear Jassi’s simplicity of execution. Which makes the dramatic moments have even more impact. Director Tarsem Singh Surprises With A Movie Unlike Anything In His Filmography Hearing that Tarsem Singh is directing an Indian love story based on real events, was surprising, to say the least. Singh is known for his surrealist and sci-fi, fantasy epics like The Cell and Immortals, so I didn’t know what to expect from Dear Jassi. But I’m glad to see that this is Singh at his most restraint. He executes the film in such a direct manner, never relying on innovative framing techniques or creative narrative devices, but just telling a linear story that gradually settles into the hearts and minds of the audience. Even more impressive is Singh’s ability to tell this story without glorifying, demonizing or being gratuitous for shock value. He clearly respects the fact that this is a true story and that there were real people involved, so makes some artistic choices that further drive that point home. And it’s dramatically quite effective as well. Pavia Sidhu Is A Gem. Yugam Sood Has A Silent Power. The lead performances of Dear Jassi are very impressive. Pavia Sidhu is great as the bubbly and smitten Jassi who is quick to fall in love but also has the maturity to follow through when things get difficult. Similarly, Yugam Sood is great at playing the meek and shy Mithu, but when required is able to break hearts with his performance. Both actors are great together with a quiet chemistry that carries through the film. In many ways, the story of Dear Jassi mirrors that of Romeo and Juliet, but not how one would expect. These are young lovers, who make questionable choices, act immaturely with one another and clearly may not be ready for what they perceive as love. But it’s more about the whirlwind love story of these young lovers that put them on a journey that the audience willingly joins. And the devastation that follows. Dear Jassi Review Disclaimer About The Subject Matter https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AmgjjQmXMns Please note that the above video may contain spoilers I think one of the challenges that I feel compelled to discuss in this Dear Jassi review, is the subject matter itself. I think the outcome of the story may be triggering, or just flat-out difficult for many to experience. Some prior knowledge may be useful for some audiences to prepare themselves. Especially those who have difficulty with scenes of violence. Dear Jassi premiered at the Toronto International Film Festival 2023. For more TIFF 2023 reviews, subscribe to The Movie Blog and follow me on X (Twitter) at @theshahshahid for more TIFF coverage. Read the full article

[reflectionsfromthemirror]

thoughts on performance

i have always loved to perform. i have always longed to perform. when i was a kid i begged my mom to let me be in dance classes, even though those classes sunk my parents further into their already overwhelming credit card debt. when i was three, we moved from our shitty apartment in west bend, wi to a shitty old house in merrill, wi , because my dad got a new job up north , and i will never forget the day we moved in. my grandparents came to our new house that day , as my parents couldn’t afford to hire movers , and they needed help watching their three toddlers as they and my uncles carried all of the furniture inside. it was a warm day in may, and i remember sitting outside on my new front steps with my grandma, my mimi, when we started to notice a bunch of girls in costume walking with their families to the middle school, which was kiddie corner from my new house. i begged my mimi to take me there to see what kind of performance was happening, and although it’s hard to recall exactly how i felt while sitting in the auditorium watching a dance recital for the first time , my mimi used to love reminding me of how filled with adoration i was as i sat watching the girls on stage. and how badly i wanted to be one of them. she saw such pure joy in me that day in the auditorium, and she knew i would be a performer. unfortunately those dance classes turned toxic the older i got, as i was scolded for not having straight arms because of my double jointed elbows and criticized for not smiling with my teeth enough. i struggled to fit into the cookie cutter shapes that my instructors prescribed upon me , and i quit when i reached high school, just like i quite playing saxophone, and quit being in theater, and quit being a performer. because i started to care more about appeasing the male gaze then appeasing my own gaze. because my older brother’s friends who i thought were so hot and cool began to tell me that those things were lame. and i believed them and it breaks my heart to this day !! and it makes so much sense why i sought out community among band boys , because it was a way to be in proximity to performance art and creativity in a way that continued to appease the male gaze, in a way that was still deemed cool by masculinity’s standards. i didn’t realize how much i wanted to be the one on stage as i stood watching my partner and my friends shine. my adoration was always slightly tainted by envy, as much as i hate to admit it. and now that i have been removed from that environment for a while , i am realizing how restricting and unhealthy it was for me to invest so much of my energy in,  fooling me into thinking that was the only kind of performance art that was cool or worthwhile, fooling me into thinking that was where i belonged, where i could thrive. it was suffocating , it was an illusion. i am a performer!! i am a performance artist . and it has always managed to come out in small ways here and there throughout my life .... acting out storylines with my dolls, creating and performing plays and living room productions with my cousins, choreographing and performing dance routines with my friends, drunkenly doing backbends and performing wild interpretive dances at parties, always secretly wanting to be the loudest one in the room while also being too acutely aware of the fact that ‘cool’ girls aren’t the loudest ones , they are the dark mysterious ones outside smoking cigarettes. i am not that girl , and if i am, i'm out there smoking weed being annoying and talking too much about god now probably lmao

[burnedbyshoto]

hawks_littledove.mp3

— You’re an avid listener to NSFW ASMR artist Hawks. It’s just your luck that he’s offered to have phone sex with you.

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pairing: takami keigo (hawks) x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, slight abuse of power/influence, phone sex, masturbation, degradation, praise, nsfw asmr artist!hawks

word count: 5,018

a/n: my keyboard is broken and i could actually cry. but hey, hawks do be sexy even tho I would never trust him with my life. also LOL this might be a call out to a lot of us, do not be offended or I will cry.

kinktober day 14 main kink: phone sex | kinktober masterlist

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Fantasizing about being in relationships with fictional characters was entirely healthy and normal.

That was something you believed to the core. It was fictional; thus, no one but you were to be hurt at the end of the day. The character, being fake, could never have an opinion because you must be real in order to have an opinion. So when you were between boyfriends, you discovered a new anime, and before you could stop yourself, you fell hard for a character.

It started as a mild obsession.

You had looked up fanart via google images, your heart warming when you saw the plethora of different fanart. The anime itself had been in circulation for a few years now, the manga for much longer, so the content was endless. Then google images wasn’t enough, and you began crossing into Twitter and Tumblr.

The fanart became better, more engrossing, and definitely much more NSFW. And then, one night during your endless rabbit hole down Tumblr after your daily search on Twitter, you stilled when seeing a new type of content.

⇒ grey fullbuster x reader

The obsession grew worse.

So much so that you had followed nearly five hundred self insert writers and artists on Tumblr, and maybe seven hundred artists, meta writers, and thread makers on twitter. But three months into consuming all the content you could find, you came across a new name that made you tilt your head.

Hawks Fierce Wings

It was a name that was being repeated and heavily talked about on both sites. It was an ASMR artist, apparently, and you frowned at the thought. You didn’t have anything against ASMR videos, but you weren’t exactly sure how to handle an anime ASMR artist. Were they cosplaying while making all those weird ASMR sounds? You really didn’t have any idea, but due to the immense boredom of your lazy day in, you decided to hell with it and tried out his most popular video.

It was simply entitled: Hawks is Jealous.

Did you have any idea as to who Hawks was? God, no, you didn’t. But if it was just some random cosplay he was going to do, you didn’t think it was going to matter. So as the only slightly educated ASMR listener, you never truly became invested when it was a thing; you slipped on your earbuds and pressed play.

The introduction screen faded into an illustrated picture of a slightly handsome man, and some calming yet tense music played in the background. You shifted, eyebrows drew as you waited for the ASMR session to begin, and when it did, you were not ready.

“I saw you walking around with that asshole today,” a voice practically growled in your ear, and you froze.

Oh, no.

Oh, no.

Oh, no!

For almost an entire hour, you sat glued to your sofa, your fingers digging into your lap as the jealous, spiteful words of this man named Hawks poured bitterly in your ear. His words were a near aggravated assault on you and definitely something you were beyond uncomfortable hearing from a stranger, but there was something about his voice that kept you there. Maybe it was the tenor of his tone or the way there was this sly, cunning scent to his words that he seemed to hide deep within his throat, but there was something that kept you there.

The second the passionate, heated kissing noises and heavy moans began to spill from his lips, you screeched, slamming your laptop closed as your cheeks pounded heavily.

Oh my god?!

It took a bit, but eventually, you were able to finish the audio and quickly figured out why he was an NSFW artist. You had never, ever heard a man eat a pussy fake or real as eagerly or vigorously as he did. Your hands were gripping the pants of your leggings, and your chest heaved.

Oh, motherfucking shit.

Finding out there were almost seventy other videos for you to still experience sent you scrambling for more, and eventually, you had to confess you were obsessed. Despite the anime fandoms you had discovered him for, Hawks seemed to be more famous for the content he created as himself. His real name was unknown by the looks of it, and he was only addressed as Hawks by his audience, something you caught on to quickly. So only after creating a new profile for his Youtube account, you made quick work of liking and commenting on every single of his already published seventy-eight nearly one hour and thirty-minute videos. 

Each one was different.

Each one filled with various roadmaps on how Hawks' scenarios would play out for you — the listener. When he used his own persona, he called the listener his little dove or his chicken nugget, sometimes his KFC thigh, or his shish kabob. 

You were glad at the very least he didn’t call you by any of those nicknames when pretending to fuck you at a speed only a “porn-is-my-only-education-on-porn” virgin teenage boy. You knew it wasn’t ideal, usually, but for some reason, it just worked. You commented on everything, read his summaries and thoughts on each video. Eventually, when you found yourself on his final, most recent video, you were ready to go a step further.

The Patreon app on your phone seemed jarringly out of place as you opened the app and subscribed yourself to Hawks' highest tiered option for the price of twenty USD.

And when you got your access to his page, you were immersed in more heavier, better content.

It was a goldmine in a sea of fools gold, and you absolutely went insane.

You weren’t sure if you were insane, needy, or just straight-up idiotic for scrolling to the very first Patreon post and indulging in the content Hawks created. 

There was a stark difference between the warnings alone between the Youtube videos and the Patreon posts. While the porn was readily accessible on Youtube, the kinkiest thing that ever happened in a video was a slight implication that Hawks had left the listener on a vibrator and fuckmachine as he went to go talk to the visiting neighbors.

It was a slight, tiny zone out and miss a detail, but one you had clung onto like an obsessed psycho and even commented on in your comment on the post. Of course, Hawks hadn’t responded, not that you had ever expected him to because all things considered, a video that was eight months old and hadn’t done that well, to begin with, didn’t seem like anything he would remember: notifications and all. 

But Patreon? Oh good, sweet, ravishing Patreon.

The very first video was of the following:

Stepbrother!Hawks fucks Stepsister!Listener in the stairwell during Christmas Dinner.

After praying and swearing to all the deities of the world that you were merely a person with a voice kink for this man and not, in fact, a perverted pseudo-incest worshiper, you clicked on it and began. It was downright sinful.

There were active voices whispered in the background as Hawks laughed about how fucking slutty you were for letting your brother fuck you like this. In the hallway, like a dog, where anyone in your joint family could walk out into. He laughed that you probably wanted it, how your wet ass pussy was greedily sucking him in, so how could you even begin to deny your lust for your brother.

You had to take a break five times during that audio.

Eventually, you do end up catching up.

Each video he had ever posted to your disposal, and most likely due to the different tier levels, you always commented on the videos. Even if it made you feel awkward for lusting over things months old, even if there were no other comments on the videos, which was much more common than you thought, you always commented and liked. It wasn’t anything ever crazy, you had seen the rarest comments bring a whole essay of analysis on why they loved it or the hating words, but you kept it simple.

Just something to keep Hawks spirits high without draining you even further of energy.

A simple: holy shit, that was hot as fucking hell!!!! you never disappoint me!!!

You never expected anything out of it; as a matter of fact, you had merely thought that you were doing the least by merely appreciating his creations when, one night, a few hours after you had gotten home. Your phone chimed with an alert.

Your mouth formed an ‘o’ in surprise; you hadn’t realized there was going to be a new release after he had just updated four days ago. Still, you popped in your earbuds and began the audio with a simple title.

i fuk ur stupid lil pus until u cri

He wasn’t precisely putting much effort into his titles these days, but his tags were definitely accurate and entirely explicit in what was to come. And in this newest video, the prominent tag was degradation.

You weren’t entirely into degradation, but still, you did what you had to do because you weren’t turned off by it. With the beginning sounds of the music playing in the background, you warped into the situation Hawks carefully carved.

But, oh?

Your face simmered with heat as Hawks dirty words dripped from the earbuds, the wet, squelching noise of your cunt and throat being fucked like some inanimate object made you soak through your panties as his disparaging words burned against your spine like a hot brand. After the thirty-minute audio was finished. Your body trembling with the aftershocks of an orgasm that had come despite the lack of actual stimulation of your clit, and you panted on your bed.

Opening your phone once again, you quickly liked the new audio and typed out your comment.

listen, i know i always comment about how fucking hot this shit is, but i have /never/ fucking soaked through my panties… you just did that and i expect a full refund for these panties 💦

You pressed send and, without so much of a second thought, continued your night. You had dinner, talked with friends, and ended the night curled back on the couch with a wine glass in your hand and a simple sit-com playing on the TV. The familiar sound of the Patreon alert rang in your ear, and you frowned, confused.

Grabbing your phone, you opened up the device and nearly shrieked at the sight of the information the notification that said:

Hawks F.W.: lets see those panties before i refund anything

A chill ran down your spine as you quickly put together the indications of this message, and you smirked, despite your quivering hands. 

Me: I have a seven inch dick requirement before seeing any of the goods — yes, that includes my panties

And from that very moment, you began a strange arrangement between you and the NSFW ASMR artist Hawks.

.

..

.

Working was the worst part of your life, you would say.

At work, you would sit in your small 4x4 cubicle, your shelves stacked with plenty of papers and items you needed, not to mention the computer that took up the majority of your desk. You weren’t quite sure what your job here was, you sort of sat at your desk and did meaningless assignments when assigned, but you did nothing for the most part. 

Before becoming an active Hawks stan, you would spend your time doing nothing playing video games. You had somehow managed to install a VPN onto your hard drive so that your employers wouldn’t be able to see what was on your screen outside of the home screen. They couldn’t trace what you did all day, but they could care less, given you got all your work completed on time and done in an over exceptional way.

But lately, since you had dropped into this… engrossed whore like relationship with Hawks, things changed. 

To be honest, it still shocks you to no end when he tells you that he had always been aware of you. Well, with your consistent, ever appearing comments on his posts and overall enthusiasm for everything he posted, it was hard to not be aware. The mental image of your soaked through panties after a long day at his own work had sent him over the edge, and he finally messaged you.

Through the DM’s in Patreon, the two of you grew to become quite the friends with benefits. He would send you countless personalized audio files because you had quickly confessed to your voice kink and how his voice sent your stomach into hormonal knots. In return, you’d send the picture of an occasional soaked panty, and if he was lucky, an audio clip of your pathetic whines back to his audios.

You couldn’t complain about this arrangement.

But as the number of his patrons doubled, and he wanted to entice his subscribers with paying him even more money, Hawks began to offer a bimonthly personalized five minute audios for his $20 tier. The fans poured into that spot, and Hawks and proudly sent you the new number of adoring fans he was getting. On account of growing platforms such as Tiktok, the number of new listeners he got was nearly exponential, as he currently passed one million followers last week. 

The cheeky bastard was also making enough money to stop working his regular work hours anymore. Choosing to transition slowly into his Patreon career while recording.

Hawks, however, seemed to have other ideas for your eventual personalized voice audio.

Hawks had simply asked if, by any chance, you were going to be working tomorrow the night before. Groaning loudly in recognition of your work schedule, you had texted him back that you were going to be working. Snidely including the fact that you weren’t rich like him, you needed the tedious old nine to five job.

Hawks: how utterly boring anyway u can b free around 2?

Me: Eh… probably not. Busy girl w busy schedule, ill be back from lunch so no break Why?

Hawks: well, u knw tht uve been amzing & th bst follower so i wanted 2 give u smthing better then the personalized audio

Me: Oh? Well, what is it?’

Hawks: pick up tmrw n find out

He had changed the subject immediately afterward by dodging all of your questions with ease. So you dropped it, and the two of you resumed a night of flirting. But now, sitting in your small cubicle, your eyes flashing to the clock that read 1:57 p.m., sweat began to build on your palm.

You peered down to your phone as you waited for something, anything from Hawks to show up. The fucker was too cheeky, evasive, and quick for his own good. You felt like pouting as you glared at the phone, waiting for the screen to light up.

And you stilled when finally, at precisely 1:59 p.m., your phone gleamed with light. You couldn’t abandon your computer mouse quicker than you did as you grabbed your phone, unlocking it, and reading the message from Hawks.

Hawks: do u have earbuds?

Me: Yes?

Hawks: good put them on n pick up

The moment you had read the first message, you were already pulling out your earbuds, synching them up to your phone, and placing them into your ear. But your jaw dropped when, for the first time, the call feature highlighted onto the screen, the time immediately changing to that of 2:00 p.m. The decline or accept button had never looked as daunting as it did right now.

Despite the call trying to go through, you still saw his follow up.

Hawks: if u dont pick up u wont get shit

[Accept]

You felt your heart hammering in your chest as both fear, apprehension, and excitement boiled through your veins, the hammering blood pounding in your ears as you waited for some sort of noise on the opposite side of the line.

“Little dove?” Hawks' voices filled your ears, and despite yourself, you smiled softly. The naturalness of his voice sends warm thumps down your spine.

“Hi, Hawks,” you whisper breathlessly, your head already checking to make sure your neighboring cubicle mates didn’t try to look over the divisions to stare at you. For the most part, the office building was quiet except for the phone calls, the clanking of computer keys, and the monotonous music playing softly on the speaker's head. 

“Whatcha doing?” he drawled, and you felt your skin heat up when you heard the all too familiar sound of his shoes hitting the top of his desk, the soft whine of his chair as he leaned back onto it. “Are you really at work?”

“What do you mean, am I really at work?” you squeaked, half horrified at the way the lazy, warm heat of lust was infiltrating your body at the sound of his voice, and the annoyance that he thought you had been lying? “Of course I am; it’s two p.m. on a Wednesday!”

“Ah, so little dove-chan is a raging pervert who engages in phone sex to bypass her long hours at work?” Hawks sighed his tone that of understanding and dismissal. You splutter. “You never fail to surprise me.”

“I do not do… that!” you stammer, your face feeling like hot cinders, your fingers and eyes double-checking to make sure that the audio was going to your earbuds and your earbuds only. You also couldn’t help the way your eyes swept around you, trying to make sure you hadn’t accidentally invited unwanted attention. “I said I was busy!”

“But, you picked up my call?”

“You said, or else!”

“Mmm, okay, I think I see,” Hawks tutted, and although you had never seen what you supposed to be his handsome face, you could imagine a lazy, toothy smirk on his face. “Don’t worry, I don’t mind using your little cubicle to talk you into fucking yourself good for me.”

Your jaw drops.

It hits the desk, and the muffled shriek of utter humiliation is only silenced because you bit onto your tongue like a rabid animal.

“Aw, you sound so excited for me already, little dove. I bet you want to know what I’m going to do to you, don’t you? I just know that I’m going to make you feel so... good…”

“Hawks!” you plea in a hushed whisper, your heart hammering where you sat frozen like a deer in headlights. Sure, you had definitely played his audios before to pass the time, but never before in your existence had you had actual phone sex. This was riskier than just listening to his audios; his audios always had a pattern, a way to escape from the madness of his voice when people were closer than you’d like. But this? No, there was no escape. “I’m at work! I c-can’t!”

“But, fuck, I want you so bad,” Hawks' voice dipped into a gravely tone, his voice just perfectly scratchy enough that your shoulders trembled in unspoken, untouched want. “I want to feel your cunt around my cock, baby, your pussy is so hot and I want to be the fucking lucky bastard that gets to fuck you through your bed.”

“O-Oh my god…”

“I’ve been thinking of what your tits look like,” Hawks continues on, his voice continuing in the style you liked the most. It was raw, heavy, and deep. No character impersonations, just him, pure Hawks. “I hope they bounce the way they do when I imagine you riding me. I want to see you moan when I kiss the underside of your tit, I want to see your face when you realize that you’re my girl, nobody's else's, but mine.”

Heat floods your panties at his words, your shallow breaths making him chuckle on the other end. 

“You’d be so lucky to be just mine, wouldn’t you, little dove?” Hawks snaps, his voice demanding a response, and you heave.

You look around, no one is near, and you croak out: “I’d be so lucky.”

“Louder.”

“I’d be so lucky.”

“Mm, there we go,” Hawks laughs, and your ears prickle for any noise that may indicate that someone was listening in. “What? Are you getting nervous that your needy ass will be heard by your coworkers right now? Answer me.”

“Mhmm,” you hum loudly, your cunt pulsing with more incredible heat and your hands shaking with a slight fear of being caught.

“Aww, don’t worry, little dove. I’m sure your boss will understand that you’re my newest fucktoy and will let me continue. Maybe they’ll want to join in?”

You whimper softly, shifting in your seat at that thought. You didn’t really want your boss coming anywhere near you, he was old and gross for one, and nothing could take the place of this beautiful man's voice in your ear right now.

“Oh, was that a no? You don’t want other people fucking you, do you, y/n? I bet you only want to have my cock in your tight little pussy, bet you want to watch the way that greedy little thing sucks me in, begging for my seed. Would you want me to cum deep inside you? You would like that little dove; you’d like to be full of my cum.”

“H-Hawks,” you keen as quietly as you can, your hips shifting uncomfortably in your seat, your heart hammering in your throat. The pressing heat in your cunt is growing, your panties growing with wet slick as Hawks' voice whispers down your ear, filling every empty and void space in your brain until you were having trouble focusing on the very much public spot you were in.

Hawks let out a soft, guttural moan, and you froze, face entirely combusting into an inferno as the familiar slick slapping of his fapping cock filled your ear. Immediately, you forgot everything.

“A-Are you—?!” you splutter, unable to find the words or the energy to come up with a way to ask if he was masturbating right now. Your eyes spun, your mind in a complete haze as soft, raunchy moans spilled from his lips, striking against your nerves and soul with each successive sound.

“I’m only trying to help you out here, dove,” Hawks growled, undoubtedly in effect to a rather loud smack of his fist colliding with his thrusting hip. “You’re the little office slut who picked up a phone call to entice in phone sex. I bet you knew exactly what I was going to do, and your pathetic, needy whore self caved to my instructions.”

Your fingers curled into the armrest of your chair.

“I bet this makes your boring ass job tolerable, the perfect distraction to a shit job, then imagining a few minutes of fucking yourself against my hard cock.”

“That’s not true!”

“No?” Hawks laughed, not believing you any more than you did. “So you wouldn’t hate it if I showed up and fucked you into the wall of your cubicle? You wouldn’t mind if I claimed your sweet-smelling pussy against your desk for everyone to hear? I know you can scream like a bitch in heat. I know that pretty little cunt of yours would milk my cock dry. Oh, I just know you would look so fucking sexy with your back arched, eyes closed, and you begging for hours just to cum. You wouldn’t cum without my permission, right?”

You gasped, heart fluttering, hammering in your chest as you shook your head, not trusting yourself to speak.

“I need a verbal answer, little dove.”

The heat in your core was blistering, your thighs shaking with your unadulterated lust and need as you ground into the cushion of your chair. All logic and moral long gone as he snarled and moaned your name in your ear, the slick of his fapping cock echoing like a great bell in your ear. You wanted to hear him cum, wanted to listen to the pithering sound of his echoing moans as he spilled the contents of his balls onto his hand — and how you wished it was your womb.

“I won’t cum w-without your permission!” you whispered, your skin shivering with your fear of being caught. 

“God, you sound like such a dirty fucking bitch. I bet your pussy is fucking soaked already. Bet you really want to run that slutty embarrassed finger against your clit but don’t want to be caught by your perverted coworkers,” Hawks hissed, his breaths turning into steady, heavy hot pants. You mewl softly, confirming his spoken thoughts, and he huffs out a laugh. “How many fingers do you normally shove up that pretty cunt of yours, little dove?”

“T-Three!” you gasp, your forehead pressing to the cool of your desk, your eyes glazed over and looking at the entrance of your cubicle, fervently wishing that no one tries to check on you as you grind against your stable chair. “O-Only three fit.”

“Fuck, you really do have a tight cunt, don’t you,” Hawks snaps, the wet sounds of his fisting hand around his cock a beautiful melody in your ear that makes you whine at the back of your throat. “Bet you can’t even fit cocks up your cunt without lube, huh. You gotta stay on top, or else you’ll get hurt with how thick and long my cock will be up that baby pussy of yours.”

“H-Hawks!” you grit out, the friction of grinding on the seat no longer working.

“Go to the bathroom, now,” Hawks commands, the small gasps on his voice from his approaching orgasm more than enough ammo for you to do as told.

You sprint to the bathroom, the slick of your cunt hot, and evident to you as you sped to the bathroom. Your phone clenched in your hand as you locked the door behind you, glad the room was empty. Barely managing to get yourself into the stall, the toilet paper placed on the seat as you raised your legs up, already prepared. The skirt you wore was bunched above your ass, and the panties you wore, stretching out around your knees.

“Sounds like you’re ready to start fucking that pussy for me,” Hawks laughs, but there's no humor, just bite. “Put in three fingers, now.”

Without even arguing or caring, three fingers slip into your cunt, and you cry at the feeling of your fingers completely stretching you out. The smell of sex and slick filling your nose as your fingers slick up, fucking your tight cunt as you moan louder and louder for Hawks. 

“God, your fucking pussy is so fucking wet, I can hear it from here!” Hawks moans, the frantic sound of his drilling hips gaining speed and momentum. 

“I want it to be you!” you moan, your face burning in your humiliation. “I want it to be you fucking my pussy, claiming me in this bathroom. I need you, Hawks, I want your cock so badly!”

“Fuck,” Hawks gasps, something tumbling in the background. “Such sweet words for a fucking dirty ass cumslut,” he growls, and your legs shake, your clit and cunt thrumming with your increasing arousal and pit of tightness in your core. 

“HAWKS, FUCK!” you sob as your hips try to start a merciless speed against your fingers, your body trying to match the speed in which Hawks was fucking his own hand.

“Keep screaming my name, whore.” Hawks gasps, his noises of pleasure beginning to grow louder and louder, your eyes crossing in satisfaction. “Screaming my name like the fucking slutty mess you are. All this shit just to get me to fuck you? God, you’re so fucking pathetic y/n. Begging for me, begging for more? I think you’re my favorite little dove ever, gonna make you mine whenever I get to fuck that pussy.”

“Hawks!” you wail his name again, your arms and pussy throbbing with the energy it takes to keep up with his inhumane speeds. Your vision seeing stars as you tremble more and more, your legs slipping from the toilet seat, yet. “I am your whore, your little dove. Please let me come, please! You fuck me so well, fucking hell, please, I needa cum, I needa cum!”

“Cum with me,” he snaps, his voice so deep, so dangerously smooth. It was precisely what you needed, the voice kink you had for his tenor exactly fulfilled entirely with that simple, last command. And just like that, your jaw slackens, head slamming backward, and pleasurable waves crash through you.

Your fingers still rock at your clit, and your vice gripped walls, your toes curling within your shoes as you soundlessly scream. Hawks, on the other end, is practically snarling, voice deep and altogether dangerous as grunt after grunt leaves him, and you can imagine the milk-white cum splattered all over his chest and hand. A beautiful, perfect sight that you wish you could see for yourself.

Exhaustion settles in your bones as you sit on the toilet, still entirely exhausted as you heave for air. 

“I think that was the best fucking orgasm I ever had,” you mumble, your eyes closed, not ready to stand up and move. “Thank you.”

“I’m good at what I… at what I do,” Hawks stumbles, husky exhaustion ringing in his own voice. “Now, little dove, finish up work, and I promise there’ll be a surprise waiting for you when you’re done.”

Not entirely agreeing, but not disagreeing with his command to go finish you last… two and a half hours at work, you begrudgingly said goodbye to Hawks before washing your hands and exiting the bathroom.

When five o’clock came, you watched as your phone screen lit up, and your face flushed as you read the DM from Hawks.

Hawks: this is my fav audio now ↳ hawks_littledove.mp3 but you surprised me today, so in case u ever want to have more fun sometime  call me 03-9183-2495 ;)

[ryosmne]

Tattoo artist! Sukuna x reader part 4

Hello, it's me your friendly neighborhood Sukuna simp, I don't have much to ramble about today, I hope you have fun reading this part :)

Series masterlist here

Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption, implied smut that I'm too shy to write.

The café was unusually quiet today, maybe it's because the other days y/n found herself sitting at that exact spot by the window, Mai was the one sitting across from her. Today was different, Nobara took Mai's place for brunch after class, to be fair she hadn't showed up in some time so both Nobara and y/n jumped at the opportunity to spend some time together.

"So, does it feel lonely now that Yuuji and Mai spend so much time together?" Nobara asked, evidently trying to make y/n admit to some form of jealousy she was sure she had. "Not really, I'm happy she's finally with someone so good for her and she's finally off my back about hooking me up with random dudes" y/n said and she was honestly happy for her best friend, Yuuji was a very nice guy and in the past few weeks he's been seeing Mai, he's nothing less of a sweetheart and y/n saw him a as a little sibling even though they were roughly the same age.

"Of course, why would you be lonely, Sukuna's been keeping you company too." Nobara's eyes had a glimmer in them, not because she wanted to tease y/n, but she was very invested in the girls business with the oh so attractive tattoo artist.

Nobara did her homework on the guy, he certainly wasn't as polite or well mannered as he came across the night they met. He did seem like trouble at first glance, but the way he looked at y/n that night, or the times he waited for her to get off class to have some time together, Nobara would say that even a blind man could see that y/n had been tugging on Sukuna's heartstrings.

"It's not like that" y/n was once again flustered. What was she to the pink haired man, who missed no chance to be around her? "You're making out in his car in broad daylight, what is it like?" the brown haired girl chuckled, her friend was an idiot if she worried for a second about the man who looked at her like she would disappear at any second. "I don't know, but we aren't together like that, he's an interesting guy" y/n longed to be with him, she had a faint memory about him talking about something like that the time he spend the night with her, but then again, she was drunk and that could be her mind playing cruel tricks on her.

"Ok then whatever you say, I really hope you're not doubting the dude that cooked you ten different options for breakfast, after he took your drunk ass home."

"Wait how do you know about that- did Mai? Oh I'm gonna kill her."

Despite the tiny voice asking 'what are we?' in y/n's head, her days with Sukuna have been some of the best she's had. Granted they couldn't see each other that often, whenever they did, it was always better than the time before.

Sukuna had taken her to all the restaurants he knew were good, cafes with the best tiramisu she had ever tasted, taking an hour and a half to get to the next place he'd see her smile listening to her excitement filled voice as she told him how delicious the food was, then giving him some attitude mumbling about how she didn't expect him to have such nice taste, was the easiest victory to him, the highlight of his day.

He hadn't managed to get her back to his chair like he needed to yet, he had been so busy finding the best places to take her to that it seemed like it completely slipped his mind. It hasn't slipped Sukuna's mind though, he's just been nervous to bring it up again, what if she doesn't want to do that anymore? What if she changed her mind? What if she just agreed because she felt compelled to do so? Sukuna didn't know which one was worse.

Even on the days they couldn't see each other they were in touch, texting silly things or messing with each other. If a day was anything other good Sukuna could vent and let out his frustrations talking to y/n and she often did the same. Sukuna preferred calling her for that, not only to get things off his chest but because her voice was so calming to him, the need to hear it grew stronger each day he wasn't able to see her.

Afternoon classes were always adding to her demise, y/n even accepted Mai's gossiping over paying attention. Yuuji as she expected was as sweet as he looked, Mai was once again gushing over him and his adorable nature. Y/n just smiled at her friend who rumbled about the boy who, by now had a very firm hold of her heart. "You and Sukuna?" She asked, prying for any information she didn't already know from Yuuji. "Me and Sukuna" y/n stated back, shit eating grin on her face, knowing how not entertaining Mai and not feeding her what she wanted completely pissed her off. Y/n's phone buzzed from her pocket, giving her a little break from her friends curiosity.

Can I take you out after class?

Y/n's lips tagged into a small smile. "Speak of the devil" Mai teased looking over y/n's phone.

Hmm depends. Where to?

Its a surprise, doll

You know I hate surprises, but I can make an exception for you.

Mai pretend to gag next to her, but y/n payed her no mind. She had already seen enough from her and Yuuji to do the same.

You won't regret it, I'll be outside when you're done.

"Just don't make out in the parking lot again, being in his car doesn't mean that we don't see you." Mai was being Mai again. Y/n shoved her arm lightly and told her that they all knew how her and Yuuji sneaked around the bathrooms, laughing as her face flushed red.

Sukuna entered her field of view leaning against his car, finishing up a cigarette, looking too good for anyone not to stare at him. The total black outfit he had on did wonders for him, even if it was the simplest of crew cut shirts and sweatpants, every piece of clothing complimented him. Waving at Mai, y/n walked towards him noticing he's cocky expression. "Feels like you're eating me up with those eyes" he laughed, why must the sound of his voice be this melodic at all times. "Don't worry I missed you too" Sukuna said laying a soft kiss on y/n's lips as a greeting. If her fellow students weren't staring already, now they surely were .

" Where are we headed tonight?" Y/n asked fastening her seatbelt, she still kind of thought of Sukuna as clumsy, even though he's driven her many places, it's not that she didn't trust him, he was a very good driver. Hey safety comes first.

"You'll find out" he spoke with a little grin, before starting his engine and driving off.

Unlocking his door, he let y/n step inside first. Sukuna's house was surprisingly neat, everything looked to be in place, the décor was minimalistic. It felt like Sukuna very home-y, but then it didn't. It was too tidy, y/n didn't really think of him as a tidy person. The place also had his scent of sandalwood so y/n easily relaxed into the new space taking some more steps forward to look around.

"Bringing me to your house like this without taking me to dinner first, tsk should've known you were that type 'kuna." Y/n said in a mockingly disapproving tone "Who said that, I'm cooking dinner for you." Sukuna said draping his arm around her shoulders guiding her to his kitchen.

Whatever Sukuna had on his stove smelled scrumptious, making y/n's mouth water, maybe how pretty Sukuna looked with an apron on and a little sweat forming on his forehead from the heat of the stove helped too.

"You know, I would have never guessed you knew how to cook." Y/n let some of her assumptions fly in the room, she was the only one with a pass to talk about whatever she wanted with him. Sukuna wasn't going to shut her down. Y/n had leaned back on his table, her eyes roamed his figure freely. Sukuna would look over his shoulder smiling to himself every time he caught her in the act.

"I had to learn, Yuuji and I lived with our Grandpa, when he passed, it was just me and him." Y/n's heart clenched in her chest, Sukuna sounded different saying that. The truth is, Sukuna had never talked about that with anyone, he never made word of his grandfather's passing or the hardships him and his brother went through when they were left alone. He had mentioned to y/n that his and Yuuji's grandfather raised them, but from the way he spoke about him y/n was sure his Grandfather was doing well. "I'm sorry for your loss" was all she could muster at that moment, the pain in his voice was much too real for her. "Thank you, at least my brother turned out pretty good" he quickly changed the subject to something ligter, surprised at his self for opening up to her so easily. "You didn't turn out that bad either" y/n let the words spill, she had spent the past half hour blatantly checking out his back, she had nothing to get shy about. Sukuna let out a laugh, gripping his wooden spoon a little tighter throwing a glance over his shoulder. "Is that what you think?" Y/n shifted in her seat, how could this guy go from sentimental to laughing about his brother and to whatever this dark seductive tone was, she had no idea.

"Come on don't get shy on me, you were having fun checking me out just a minute ago, see anything you like" in the blink of an eye, Sukuna was slightly bent down facing her. Even after all the makeout sessions they've had that usually ended with y/n slapping his arm worrying that someone saw them and Sukuna looking at her with a cocky grin reassuring her that they gave a good show to whoever was watching, he could still make her all flustered, and she looked adorable like this, a deer caught in headlights. Sukuna kissed the tip of her nose, telling her she looked cute before turning his attention back on the food.

"Did you find that movie?" Sukuna's voice came from the kitchen, y/n was fumbling with the remote on his couch. Sukuna insisted on eating in his living room, he didn't want this to feel too formal, he still had whine out with fancy plates and everything, but he only wanted to cook for his girl and see her eyes light up eating his food, like they always did when she tried the food on the restaurants he took her.

"Yeah, here let me help with that." She said getting of the couch to help him set everything. "No no no, you go sit down, I'll do the work." Sukuna insisted, y/n only raised a brow at him and complied.

"Okay, you have to teach me, this tastes so good 'kuna" that nickname stuck, not that Sukuna complained, his stomach still did flips every time y/n called him that. She was looking at him just the way he hoped she would. The dish was quite simple, chicken with some red salsa and vegetables, but it was better than anything she'd ever tasted.

"I can give you a little cooking class, as long as you go grocery shopping" He offered her a little smile and y/n rolled her eyes playfully.

Y/n was leaning on Sukuna's chest with her arm hooked around his waist, he had a firm hold of her too, mindlessly looking at the screen but not paying enough attention to it. The movie y/n chose turned out to be a barely watchable C grade thriller and the two glasses of wine they had didn't make it tolerable either. Bad movie or not, having her under his arm like this was all he needed to feel calmer. Sukuna was so calm that he forgot why he brought y/n over.

"Can I show you something?" Sukuna spoke softly, looking down at her, y/n nodded in reply and groaned loudly at the loss of his warmth when he got up from the couch, Sukuna could only chuckle at her .

"Just two drinks and you're already a brat."

"Shut up."

Sukuna came back holding a big folder and some sketch books, y/n's curiosity picked and she found herself straightening up a bit.

"I've been dying to show you these." Sukuna stated as he flipped through the pages. Y/n's eyes danced all over the various shapes and designs he had came up with. Her eyes traced a particular three headed fox, she had never seen anything like that before, she reached out her hand to feel his drawing on her fingertips.

Sukuna's heart picked up its pace, she was currently in aww at his favourite piece for her. "Are those what you told me you came up with form me?" She was amused, she stared at him wide eyed not believing that anyone would ever do something like that for her, "Yeah, every design here is meant for you, you can pick whichever you like, but if you don't want me to tattoo you, I'll understand, you don't have to let me if you don't want to." Y/n couldn't believe it, there were enough drawings in here to fill her entire body in ink. She had hardly believed him when he said he had a vision for her sleeve, but this, this was out of this world.

"I don't even know what to say, these are so beautiful, but why did you go through all this trouble?" She still couldn't see a reason for it. "You've given me so much inspiration from the first time you visited, I can't get your skin out of my head, seeing you in my work is just surreal. I would do anything to do it again" Sukuna's words had not yet sunken in properly, y/n was still in disbelief.

Sukuna placed his sketchbooks on the coffee table, his hand prompting y/n's chin up so he can look at her face in the dim lights of his living room. "I will decorate any part of your skin you're willing to give to me, I'll give you the best work I can, please let me do this much." Sukuna almost sounded desperate, his face was once more too close and his wine scented breath tickled her lips, he had almost gone mad drawing in most his free time, and every time he saw her, a new idea of what would fit her popped into his head.

"You can do that" the moment these words rolled out of y/n's tongue, Sukuna had heard all he needed, and latched his mouth on hers, allowing his hands to explore more of her body. Between heavy breaths, Sukuna whispered about the softness of her skin, how he couldn't wait to mark her again, how he wanted her to be his canvas, his and only his. Diving in her neck once more, littering her sensitive skin with bruises she'd have to cover up tomorrow and her hands tangled up in his hair. "Just be good for me and I'll be gentle" His words only made her anticipate more.

The next day Sukuna was walking like the happiest man on earth, he woke up and had breakfast with his beloved doll, he had a smile on his face you couldn't miss. His co-workers didn't miss it either nor did they miss the huge forder he had under his arm when he came in, but they didn't question it.

Gojo spent his time teasing him about his unusual demeanor while Geto laughed to himself assuming what everyone else did.

Teasing him and prying about Sukuna's previous day didn't really work in Gojo's favour, Sukuna would simply ignore him and his smile still hadn't fadded. Gojo took it as his personal mission to piss him off when he had a lightbulb moment.

"Come on man, you talk about her all the time and when she comes over we're all working, when are we gonna get to meet her?" Gojo pushed, for the third time today, he finally found a weak spot.

The entire crew was curious meet y/n, properly this time at least, but Gojo was the only one who could confidently voice that. "Tell you what, go one month without fucking someone in here, and we can all go for some drinks tonight." Sukuna said in a joking manner, there was no way Gojo Satoru would agree to something like that, the man couldn't last two days on that deal, he was not about to give his word to Sukuna and take one for the team.

Gojo stood before the pink haired man, his glasses low on the bridge of his nose "Then, it's a deal" he said, obnoxious as ever with his hand extended for Sukuna to take. Sukuna knew Gojo was a man of his word, and if he shook on something, he would no doubt keep his end. Now Sukuna had to keep his as well.

Hey doll, I was wondering if you'd like to go grab a few drinks with me and the rest of the guys after closing?

Sure, I'll be there before nine, what's the occasion?

No need, I'll pick you up, they just really want to meet you, you don't have to come if you don't want to though.

Don't be stupid, I won't pass the opportunity of collecting blackmail on you.

Sukuna was smiling at his phone, that was so typical of y/n, his grin quickly faded once his eyes met the idiots standing before him with hopeful eyes. "Just don't do anything stupid" he sighed defeated before getting back to work, this was going to be a long night.

Y/n easily spotted Sukuna's car, he was parked just further down her street. Carefully swinging the passenger door open, she expected at least extra someone inside, but it was just Sukuna.

"Hey 'kuna." y/n greeted stepping inside, Sukuna faced her with a half smile, lazily bringing his hand on her jawline, pulling her in for a short kiss. "You're looking very pretty today, dollface." he spoke, still inches from her face, as his eyes traced her figure. Every inch of exposed skin begging him to mark it. Sukuna halted his wandering thoughts when y/n spoke again. "Everyone ended up ditching you in the end? cause you could've taken me out without an excuse like that."

"I wish they did, but unfortunately for both of us we'll have to suffer through it, I know you'd rather have me all to yourself." The mare glance he gave her from the corner of his eye as he put the car on speed was enough to have y/n's hear thumping in her chest. "Speak for yourself, airhead." Y/n's tone didn't lack at all in sarcasm. She did want him all to herself but she also was very intrigued by the rest of his crew, Sukuna always spoke about them. Whether it was stories from his childhood, college or everyday work things, y/n kept hearing about Nanami, Geto, Gojo and Megumi so she looked forward to getting to know them for herself. She had only seen Gojo and Nanami. Megumi and Geto had always been occupied when she dropped by the shop she would catch a glimpse of them tonight.

Sukuna's hand had taken a grip of her thigh, making y/n not so focused in their conversation. Sukuna was mindlessly squeezing while warning y/n about his friends.

The bar looked more like a museum in her opinion, still a very beautiful, elegant place. Y/n expected no less from Sukuna, he's already accompanied her to the best small restaurants and patisseries, sometimes she wondered how he came to know this many perfect date spots.

Sukuna had managed to slip his hand in her's the moment he noticed eyes on his precious doll and guided her to the table his co-workers were sat.

"You owe me 50 Nanami, they did show up."

"You're making me regret this already." Sukuna said, his head dipping slightly

"Come on 'kuna don't be such a grump" had that been y/n's voice Sukuna would've smiled down at her and his demeanor would instantly change, Gojo's voice only offered him annoyance.

Y/n took notice and softly brushed his hand with her thumb, Sukuna let a little laugh and proceeded to introduce the girl under his arm to everyone. "Y/n this is Geto, Megumi and you already know Nanami and Gojo here" Sukuna spoke pulling out y/n's seat as she shook hands with everyone. Gojo took the chance to piss his friend off, after all he would have to strictly work for the next month, he brought y/n's hand to his lips, giving her a compliment on her dress, making Sukuna red in the face.

Everyone took a liking to her very quickly, seeing exactly why Sukuna was so taken by her, she was witty and smart with a silver tongue that was also very sharp. Geto begun telling her about Sukuna's embarrassing drunk nights in college while Gojo laughed and even Nanami snickered. Megumi made Sukuna regret the day he considered taking him in his shop when he told y/n how he always cried as a kid if he didn't have a cookie after his meal. "That's why you always grumble about dessert?" Y/n asked him choking in laughter, Sukuna mumbled a reply and went back to looking annoyed, he was really happy to see y/n interact with his friends so effortlessly. This girl was constantly giving him more reasons to be around her.

Y/n was in the middle of a deep conversation with Nanami about philosophy, her eyes gleaming when he mentioned Plato's allegory of the cave. Geto subtly tapped Megumi's leg to get him to notice how Sukuna was resting his chin on his hand staring at y/n, who was blabbering about Greek philosophers, with the most sweet expression on his face any of them had seen. Gojo also took notice of that and an unspoken pact of 'annoy the fuck out of Sukuna' was made then and there.

"Have you thought about the next thing you want done or did you just want one tattoo?" Gojo asked the girl, breaking her conversation with Nanami a little too early for her liking.

"Yeah, I'll be getting some more work from Sukuna pretty soon" y/n replied proudly, her mind wandering to the night before to Sukuna and the beautiful pieces he came up with just for her. Sukuna perked up, his heart thumping by how happy y/n sounded with these words rolling out her lips.

"You sure you want him to do it though? You know I'm free if you need." Gojo's voice was condescending like always. Sukuna tensed up, jaw clenching at the thought of anyone laying a finger on y/n's skin. "Are you crazy? with work like this, I wouldn't let anyone else do it." Y/n laughed, Gojo must've been joking anyway.

Sukuna found so much comfort in her reply, she loved his artistry and never hesitated to show it, no matter how much of a brat she could be with him. Geto butted in the conversation too "y/n is right, look at how beautiful Sukuna's work looks on her, there's no way she'd change him." Y/n nodded at his words. "But I also do black and gray, I'm sure I could come up with something for you" Sukuna's eyes were glaring daggers at the raven haired man next to him, he remained oblivious to it laughing on the inside, Sukuna was so predictable.

"Thanks, but you said it yourself, there's no way I'd change him." Y/n spoke confidently, taking a sip of her vodka, knowing that at this point she was stroking Sukuna's ego and it would only grow bigger. Sukuna had no idea what everyone was onto trying to tattoo y/n, probably piss him off. From the looks of it, y/n wasn't going to let that happen. Nanami was observing quietly exchanging a few more words with y/n, he was right about her not taking other people's bullshit, Gojo couldn't pull anything with her, Nanami could see what Sukuna saw in her.

"Y/n, when you first came you were going to get tattooed by Megumi right?" Nanami spoke, Sukuna never expected him to join the others in their stupidity. "Yeah, he takes the walk ins right?" Y/n said casually, paying no mind to what Nanami was trying to do, the rest of them were also shocked that he decided to join in on making Sukuna's night a little hellish. Oh the betrayal.

"Did you want to get tattooed by Megumi?" Such a simple question, but Sukuna was at the edge of his seat "Yeah, I did, he was the reason I chose Domain in the first place, everyone loves this guy's work, I was pretty excited." Sukuna's face dropped, it's not like he didn't expect that, of course y/n came based on the reviews, he couldn't be mad at her for not booking him, she didn't even know him. He was pretty happy that he ended up taking her in that day, even if his insides boiled with jealousy at this very moment "Sorry for ruining your plans doll" the same smugness echoed in his voice "I can only stay mad at you for so long." Meeting his enlarged pupils and darker eyes, she could tell Sukuna was indeed, jealous. He had nothing to be jealous of, she didn't plan on leaving his side anytime soon, but when Megumi took his turn in the game everyone seemed to play, y/n found it hard not to join them. "If you still want to I can tattoo you since I never got to" Megumi knew he was walking on thin ice when Sukuna gave him a look that made him wish he was dead, these two got in fights all the time as kids and ended up with bruises all over them, if Megumi didn't ease up Sukuna would gladly remind him of the past.

"Uh, yeah, if you've got a design" y/n said with a bit of hesitation, Sukuna was seathin next to her, his hand aggressively palming her leg just above the knee. The rest of the night Sukuna didn't really speak, only leaned in y/n's ear to tell her to slow down on the vodka, the rest of the guys continued to talk amongst themselves as if nothing had happened.

Exiting the bar, y/n was walking- trying to keep up with Sukuna who walked fast to his car after mumbling a goodnight to everyone. Y/n regretted playing along, she'd never seen Sukuna this quiet. " 'kuna, I'm sorry I really didn't want to upset you" she said her eyes on the ground, gently tagging at his jacket, how could he ever get annoyed with her when she looked like that. Sukuna wasted no time swiftly taking a hold of her, his lips ghosting her's "I'm not that upset, only a little" his voice barely above a whisper, lips grazed over hers briefly. Sukuna didn't know if that was his heart or hers thumping so hard "I'm tired of dancing around it" his breath was hot, warming up her face making y/n's face impossibly hotter. "Dancing around what?" She asked with visible hesitation. Sukuna dipped down once more, not so softly this take taking her soft lips into his own, gently tugging on her bottom lip with his teeth, letting one of his palms to rest on her cheek and the other taking a loose hold of the back of her neck. Her arms naturally found their way around his neck. "I told you I want you all to myself" . Did he mean what y/n was thinking? Did y/n want him to call her his? Sukuna almost crackled at her puzzled expression. Sukuna wasn't one to express things this openly, y/n was a bit dense in that department so he had to, at least he told himself that.

"I'm starting to get a bit disappointed, I clearly remember you saying 'i would say yes' with some romantic mumbling" Sukuna said, stroking her cheek ever so slightly.

Her breath was striped from her lungs, it wasn't from the kiss this time. So that did happen, y/n's mind was not playing tricks on her, Sukuna had in fact asked. Her eyes once again gleamed looking straight to his crimson irises. "So will you be mine?" He was more confident this time, they had grown closer, laughed more, shared more, Sukuna wanted this from the very first session they had together and the more time he spend around her, the more he couldn't bare the thought of anyone laying their fingers on her. Perhaps Nanami's little show got under his skin way more than he could ever admit, but there was no way he's letting anyone mark her. Y/n was his personal artwork, only the finest of pieces shall taint her skin. "Yes, airhead" y/n said, finally having enough air to form words, still in his arm with a smile on her face, indulging him on another deep kiss. "Let's seal the deal then."

Sukuna finally got to fulfill his need, y/n was back on his chair late in the afterhours of the night. He finished free handing another of his designs he showed her the night before, the outline of her sleeve, with the Cerberus foxes he created just for her.

Y/n was standing in front of his full body mirror, examining the very delicate lines of his marker. His arms snaked around her waist, Sukuna could watch her admire his art for eternity.

"You look so beautiful in it" he simply stated, looking at their reflection he could only note her beauty. Y/n looked beautiful, beautiful on her own, beautiful in his tattoos, beautiful in his arms.

"Your art is probably the most beautiful thing I've seen, but you too are a close competitor" her voice crystal clear, she managed to make a faint pink dust his cheeks. Sukuna wasn't one to take compliments, but from her? He could listen to her little praises all day. "Now, now get your ass back on this chair, you're not getting out of this"

"I didn't plan to anyway."

Bonus Domain shenanigans: Megumi had the pleasure of opening up the very next morning, what the hell happened here, he was about to call the cops when he saw Sukuna looking scruffy and sleep deprived, emerge from the back room, same pants and undone dress shirt as the night before. "What the hell" was all that he could say. Sukuna was thankful he let y/n out the back just so they could both avoid the embarrassment that was to come.

"What happened here?" Geto asked the moment he came through the door, although he already knew, Sukuna was predictable. "Nothing happened" Sukuna groaned trying to get them to shut up, he just needed some coffee. He disappeared in the back again.

"yeah sure, 'nothing happened' does he think we're stupid or something" Gojo said to Nanami, who already had a headache and he hasn't been in for 15 minutes yet. "Stop it already nothing happened" Sukuna said, coming out in the front to order a coffee. Gojo stared at him, walked closer to him and began laughing straight to his face, "fuck you're laughing at?" Sukuna was confused

"Next time, clean the lipstick off your face and neck." Nanami chuckled while Gojo continued to laugh at Sukuna's frustration.

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[elfsone]

Final thoughts on KP

Just want to preface this by saying that I am not one of those people who had waited for 2 years for this and had to go through all the drama of them getting shelved etc. Hence I have absolutely no emotional attachment to this show. But if you are one of those people who have waited and this is the most perfect little thing for you, you do you! God knows I have my own favorites and comfort pieces of media/music, which may not be ‘objectively’ great, but I would fight till my last breath for. 

Secondly, I am relatively new to the world of BLs. Started watching during the pandemic, probably have only watched 6-7 shows in all. So I am watching it just like any other show. I don’t have many points of references to talk about how groundbreaking this is or how they have improved upon the shortcomings or problems associated with this genre. (What I can say is that it is way better than 2gether😜)  

Phew okay! I believe that the show was carried by the great acting. Usually the side characters can break the experience but everyone in this show was a very good actor. (My personal favorite has to be build playing pete. More on that maybe sometime later). Also the cinematography, sets, lighting etc etc were really good! The show had a big budget and it showed. Most of the shots were artistic and beautiful. But I have to say the writing on the show was weak. Now that may be the problem of the source material as I have seen multiple posts saying that novel was trash and boc has done a great job in interpreting it. I have personally not read the novel (I have only read the vegaspete side stories), so I can’t comment on that. While the story can’t be changed a lot, what could be improved upon was the pacing. The pacing in the show was really off. A lot of the times things felt unnecessarily stretched out and you are left wondering what actually happened in this ep. I caught myself getting distracted one too many times especially during the later eps. This is not an american tv show with multiple seasons. They did not have the luxury of time. This is the reason, some characters or arcs could not be fleshed out very well which dampened the experience. Some eps could have done with tighter editing and better writing. Like I honestly could care less about what happened to porsche’s mom as we were not invested in that person at all. While I understand that according to the novel timeline, this arc had to come after everything happens but how am I supposed to feel sympathy for a character I met 10 mins ago! Porsche has also never really talked about his parents, so him seeing his mother alive after all this time did not hit emotionally at all. Kim crying over chay’s polaroids... when did he fall that hard? Should we cry with him? Torture scenes interspersed with people partying in a club had me reeling.

I also could not wrap my head around the extreme tonal shifts that happened out of the blue. Some comedy scenes were really good, one that comes to mind is introduction of tankhun. Khun in his pink bath robe holding his dead fish. Amazing. But most of the time comedy scenes felt contrived and jarring mostly because they occurred when you least expected them too and they really took you out of the moment. For eg, recently in ep 14, when vegas is about to shoot porsche calling him kinn’s heart, a well done emotional scene is cut by a toy car with pink balloon?! (Please tell me this does not happen in the novel! I’ll bang my head against the damn wall!). I entered this show with no background and randomly coming across the trailer made me think it was going to be a dark gritty show set in the underworld which it is absolutely not. I imagined kinn’s character living the life of kim(living a double life) or vegas (traumatised by this life). But that’s on me. Future viewers should note that this is first and foremost a sweet love story. The main hero happens to be in the mafia. 

The final point is that the main cp did not hit it off with me. A big problem for me was that they reduced these two rich characters- a mafia heir battling his demons and trying to please his father and an orphan boy working hard to survive in this world and provide for his brother- to just two boys in love. Kinn and porsche lost all personality and character except being boyfriends. Before y’all come at me for being a cynic who hates romance, I just wanna put out that cherry magic is one of my favorite shows of all time. Ok now cue the boos. For me the problem with kinnporsche is not their lovey-doveyness but their absolute lack of communication and trust. Call me a prude but problems are not solved by having sex. Kinn called porsche a slut, did not tell his plans about tawan to porsche and put him in jail, porsche spied on kinn’s meeting and did not apologize, porsche ran away with kinn’s enemy etc etc. Most of these conflicts culminated in them having sex. While those scenes were beautiful cinematographically, I couldn’t get into them as that was not the resolution I wanted. But ALL the praise to mile and apo (esp apo, his experience shines through). I firmly believe that this ship is so popular because of their great acting and phenomenal chemistry. They really looked like two men in love.

I really enjoyed the vegaspete cp. I was initially drawn to vegas’ charcater, he seemed to be a layered and complex villain. That’s why I read the vp side story after ep 6 or 7. Then pete came out to be an even more interesting and complex character and I really fell in love both of the charcaters individually before I loved them together as a couple. As I have read their story, I would say that the relationship did seem rushed. I wish we could get some of their sweet moments from the novel (I know they are just the side couple but just an extra 15-20 mins spread out over 3 eps would have done the job). Just so we could understand the depths of their love. We needed to see what pete was missing when he left and not just kinky sex. (Someday when my tears have dried up and I am tired of rewatching their scenes, I will do a bigger post on vegaspete)

Kim and chay were interesting. Whatever scenes they had they were really good. You could feel chay’s teenage love and kim’s inhibitions. I needed some more time (time again huh? one thing we didn’t have :P) to be really invested in their relationship. I really liked kim as a character. What or why was he investigating, I still have no clue.

But all in all, it was good show (I know, after all that!?). It provided good entertainment, great to binge watch. Personally not very high rewatch value for me.

Fave eps- Ep3, Ep7

Fave Character- Vegas, Tankhun

Fave Actor- Build, Apo

[sergeanthopeless]

female Byleth S-supports ranked best to worst

(keeping my personal feelings about the pairings themselves to a minimum)

(Gilbert and Alois omitted, since those are platonic S-supports)

(warning: long post)

1. Seteth 

This S-support is about as romantic as it can get. This thing just makes my heart flutter every. dang. time. and it’s easily the best S-support in the whole game for female Byleth. There’s a REASON why a lot of people hop aboard the Setleth train after witnessing this masterpiece.

Sure, Seteth lectures his way in and out of the proposal, but let’s be real, if it was any different it would be out of character, and acting the responsible advisor is just part of his charm. Plus, he pledges utter devotion to Byleth for the rest of his existence, and we essentially get wedding vows out of this one. It doesn’t get better than that!

He’s so self-assured during this S-support, and that’s sexy. But he is patient and affectionate with her, and takes the time to make sure there’s no room for confusion. He clarifies that his feelings are not those of duty (which is a problem with some other S-supports), or an interest in perpetuating a Nabatean or Crest-rich bloodline. It’s very clear that he just wants her, and that’s it. But where others put Byleth on a pedestal, this S-support feels like an exchange between equals.

Byleth’s reaction to this one is particularly noteworthy — there’s an unusual amount of emotional expression from Byleth during this S-support, INCLUDING A FRIGGIN BLUSH! Byleth does NOT blush often during these supports. Plus, Byleth asks Seteth to promise that he’ll follow wherever she goes. Unlike some of the other S-supports, it’s very clear that she’s invested in him and wants him.

Favorite quotes:

“I cannot conceive of a world without you in it.”

“I love you, deeply. Will you marry me?”

“From this day forward, I will always be at your side. Through good or ill fortune. Through the greatest of joys and the worst of woes. No matter how daunting the task, I will be there.”

“Courage, my love. Let us go forth and face the world - together.”

2. Hubert 

I was genuinely caught off-guard with Hubert, especially since I haven’t played Crimson Flower yet and have gotten all of my impressions of Hubert from the fandom. A pleasant surprise, though, and pleasant enough to snag the #2 best S-support!

He starts with advisor nagging, which is no surprise since that’s his character. However, he doesn’t take too long to get to the point of the conversation, and everything is straightforward yet sweet. It’s very cute how he flustered he gets in the beginning, and his self-consciousness about his suitability as a husband is really sweet. But what really clinched this for me was the privilege of seeing a BLUSHY HUBERT! This surprisingly lovable psychopath gets so dang worked up and excited over Byleth giving him a ring and proposing to him right back.

Favorite quotes:

“[I’d] rather you be with me rather than some dubious individual.” (Yes, I altered the quote, but let’s be real, he wasn’t talking about Edelgard there.)

“I once thought killing you would be a great challenge, but the real difficulty was declaring my love.”

3. Ignatz 

This S-support starts with an angry Ignatz, which had me worried. Ignatz is one of those characters where I expected his apparent youthfulness to cause a problem in his S-support (it definitely causes problems in other S-supports), even though he’s actually 17 at the start of game like Felix, Dimitri, Claude, Raphael, Ferdinand, and Edelgard. So I was pleasantly surprised by the sheer maturity of his proposal!

While he’s definitely self-conscious and doesn’t even expect Byleth to accept his proposal, it says a lot that Ignatz still had the guts to do the proposing. While he expresses surpassing admiration toward Byleth as someone who supported him through troubled times, he’s not dependent or subservient. Yes, there is a prominent fixation on Byleth’s beauty, but he’s an artist, so I think that adds more meaning to what would otherwise be an extremely shallow point to make during an S-support.

Favorite quotes:

“You are my goddess.”

 “You soothed my troubled soul.”

“My beloved goddess.”

“I want to love you for all eternity.”

“I love you with all my soul.”

Hoo boy, this boy’s got a serious SILVER TONGUE on him! *fans self*

4. Lorenz 

Regardless of how you feel about Lorenz, you’ve gotta admit this is a pretty flawless proposal. He reminisces about and apologizes for the trouble he used to cause as a youth, has a smooth transition into the presentation of the ring, and then his composure falls apart when Byleth reveals she’s been wise to him all along. He’s such a perfectionist, and his determination to propose perfectly is very consistent with his character. But I also appreciate that he made sure of Byleth’s feelings before actually asking her to marry him (ring presentation aside).

This S-support makes it very clear just how much Lorenz admires Byleth, which I feel is extremely important in context of his character. He can be incredibly self-centered to the point of being downright irritating, so the fact that he’s now talking about her and is focused entirely on her shows the sincerity of his feelings and how much Lorenz has grown as a person.

The bit at the end where he gets overexcited and uses his full name is hilarious, but I’m glad the S-support doesn’t end there, which would have taken away from it. Instead, it ends with Lorenz swearing to make Byleth happy and work with her in making the world a better place. Equal partners!

The last thing that really made this S-support for me was the voice acting. The broken voice, trembling, and stammering really added emotional depth to Lorenz’s character in this critical moment, and really brought everything to the next level in terms of overall impact.

Favorite quote: “Pedigree and status are no longer priorities for me. I now know that what matters most is the worth of an individual’s soul.”

5. Felix

The moment I noticed that this S-support was taking place at the training grounds, I knew it was going to be good. And it goes exactly as you would expect with our favorite tsundere, flustered and deflecting and all, but the sheer effort that he ends up putting into it is so endearing. And I adore how Byleth messes with him the whole time.

It starts rough, let’s be real. He just hands the ring to Byleth and tells her to “take this.” Oh, Felix. This poor boy is so. friggin. hopeless. You can practically hear his thought process leading up to this point. “How do I make sure Byleth never leaves?... Ah, marriage — yes, that’ll lock her in!” *facepalm*

But Felix’s body language is what really makes this S-support, starting with the finger point and then ending with the kabedon. Plus, we get a glimpse of something very rare: blushy Felix!

Favorite quotes:

“Fight me for the rest of my life.”

“I want you to be my wife. Please say yes. Let’s get married and stay together until we die. I love you.”

6. Balthus

I really didn’t know what to expect with this one, although to be honest, what expectations I did have were fairly low. Yet despite his faults, Balthus managed to scrape together a rather charming S-support! His nervousness and stuttering is adorable for such a big, tough-talking guy, and I love that we actually get an impatient “Just say it already,” from Byleth.

It was nice to see Byleth’s good influence on Balthus, although I’m not a fan of the woman-redeems-man trope. And considering that Balthus asks for up to 5 years to get his act together…that wasn’t exactly a point in his favor.

What made this S-support for me was all of the classic lines. Balthus isn’t necessarily a smooth talker, but it would be wrong to say that he doesn’t know how to talk to a woman. The proposal itself had me ROLLING: “Marry me, pal!” The voice acting was flawless, particularly when he said, “my love.” Balthus, I’ll say this on Byleth’s behalf: please stop trying so hard. And never say that again.

Favorite quotes:

“It’s time to take the biggest gamble of my life.”

“Comfort be damned! I need you by my side. Always.”

“Let’s get hitched right away! I know a guy.”

“To look after you...and be brave enough to let you look after me. that’s what marriage is all about, right?”

S-support portraits shouldn’t really matter here, but I’m going out on a limb here and saying that Balthus’ portrait is the best one of all Byleth’s S-supports.

7. Dorothea

I have a lot of Dorothea feels, okay? She’s my baby girl. And by this point in the game, she’s so jaded and used to disappointment that it just breaks my heart. So when Byleth proposes to her, you can hear the genuine emotion in her voice. She’s so in love with Byleth, but clearly talked herself out of it long before this moment. “You won the war. You could pick anyone in the world. Why would you…?”

And then she’s so happy. It’s not fancy, but her pure happiness really makes this for me. The hopeless romantic finally getting her happy ending is just really lovely.

Favorite quote: “I starred in so many operas where I captured the heart of my beloved. But I never dreamed that it would feel this wonderful when it actually happened.”

8. Ferdinand

Oh boy, Ferdie. There wasn’t much of a preamble, and the presentation of the ring wasn’t anything special. He’s still full of himself: “You hear noble Ferdinand von Aegir declare his love for you, and all you say is, ‘I understand’?” and this S-support is more focused on him than it is on Byleth, which is exactly the opposite of what happened with Lorenz’s S-support, even though they’re similar characters.

That being said, this S-support has its moments. We get a good reaction out of him (even though it’s over the top), and we get a sign of his personal growth when he reins himself in. The trembling and feeling faint is very cute (10/10), and considering his ambitious nature, him saying that he considers winning Byleth’s heart to be one of his greatest accomplishments is sweet, as is the way he dreams about their future.

In other words, this one starts rough, but ends sweet.

Favorite quote: “I need you as much as I need my next breath — more, even.”

9. Dedue

Can we just appreciate that Dedue chose to leave Dimitri for Byleth? That is so meaningful. Dedue spends the entire game unhealthily attached to Dimitri, and finally he finds something that he chooses for himself. Of course, there is the concern that he will become unhealthily attached to Byleth, but I don’t get that impression from his S-support.

There are so many wonderful little details in this S-support. The tiny, modest ring. The straightforward proposal. Both of them gazing at each other in loving, comfortable silence afterward. Byleth’s blush. And DEDUE’S LAUGH. Just. the laugh. It’s important.

Finally, Dedue invites Byleth to come with him to visit Duscur. TAKE NOTES, CLAUDE!! Anyway…

10. Edelgard

*takes a deep breath and sets aside my feelings about Edelgard’s stance on the Children of the Goddess*

Alright, so this S-support is significant because it’s one of the few where you can tell that there is genuine affection on Byleth’s end. She really takes charge of the proposal, going so far as to use Edelgard’s nickname, “El,” to convey affection and intimacy.

At first I was concerned when I heard Edelgard say, “This ring…thank you, my dearest friend,” and I was like HOLD UP – did Byleth just get friendzoned?? But Edelgard clarifies by expressing that she has romantic feelings too, which saves the scene. But while sweet, the rest of the S-support focuses on Edelgard’s ambitions and generally lacks romance. Fitting for her character? Yes. A satisfying S-support? Not really.

11. Dimitri 

It’s clear from the beginning of this S-support that Dimitri and Byleth have become close friends. I appreciate the way they talk about their wounds, and although talking about Dimitri’s nightmares is far darker than I expected from an S-support, it shows just how much Dimitri has improved.

What disappointed me about this S-support is the lack of emotion on both sides. Sure, the “my beloved” pet name is wonderful. And sure, Byleth isn’t very emotional as a rule. But Byleth shows more emotional in other S-supports. And there is not nearly enough of a reaction on Dimitri’s side. Come on, dude. You’ve been aggressively simping over Byleth since Day 1, and you’re just taking this proposal in stride?? You should be unconscious right now.

12. Mercedes

I’m so proud of how far Mercedes has come at this point. She’s determined to live in a way that makes her happy, outside of her Crest or anyone else’s expectations. That being said, a lot of this S-support feels more like it could have been an A+ support.

Major points to Mercedes to being the one to do the proposing. A lot of people mistake her kind nature for being demure, which is not the case. She is bold, speaks her mind, and knows what she wants. And in this case, that’s Byleth. Her proposal is gentle and respectful, if a bit bland, and her reaction to Byleth’s acceptance is absolutely adorable. She’s so happy yet insecure, and I wish there was more communication from Byleth to reassure her.

13. Hanneman

Hanneman is an academic through and through, and his nature as a scholar comes through strongly in his S-support. He tries to approach things pragmatically, almost ruins things by talking about Byleth’s role in his research, but fortunately realizes that’s the wrong way to do it and takes a new approach with more feeling. It’s very similar to Linhardt’s S-support, but less self-centered and overall better. Hanneman treats Byleth as an equal, and shows enthusiasm in his own way.

Overall, this is an extremely pragmatic S-support, but it’s not without its charms. That being said, it definitely requires an interpretation of Byleth’s character where she has developed a taste for academia.

Favorite quotes:

“I suppose there’s no reason to hold ourselves back any longer.”

“I don’t want the power of your Crest - I want you.”

“I can’t wait to see the results of this undertaking.”

14. Yuri

This S-support is very consistent with Yuri’s character. The scene opens with Yuri trying to repay his “debt” to Byleth, which definitely lacks in romantic vibes, but works in context. It’s nice to see Yuri nervous and out of composure, but I admit I had been expecting…more…from him with how charming he’s supposed to be. Then again, like Sylvain, maybe the fact that he’s dropped the façade is supposed to make it meaningful. At least he blushes! Blushy Yuri is something I didn’t know I needed. The bit at the end where he whispers his true name in her ear is very nice, too.

But yikes…Yuri talks about his death. And considering that in most of the routes, Byleth ends up being most likely essentially immortal, this hits HARD. She is definitely facing the death of her lover in a few decades at most, and that is not something she wants to think about during a proposal.

Favorite quote: “In return for this ring, I ask for you.”

15. Raphael 

Raphael is a pretty clueless, non-romantic kind of guy. But the sudden proposal is very cute. Considering how awful he is at expressing himself, it works really well with his character to simply have him jump right in and get it over with.

That being said, I couldn’t help but feel that his reasoning for getting married was just a little loose. He always wants to be with Byleth and expresses that he wants to serve as her knight. Uh, you realize you can do that without marrying her right, bud? Byleth didn’t seem to be very into this proposal either, although she does have a wonderful little smile in the S-support portrait, which makes up for that. I love how the portrait emphasizes Raph’s size and strength by having him lift her up bridal style. It’s an actually flattering portrayal of him, too.

Favorite quote: “And…I’ll love you. Forever and ever. And ever!”

16. Sylvain 

Ah yes, Sylvain. Our favorite train wreck. The good news is that he’s finally taking charge of his life, and I like that he’s straightforward in this S-support rather than flirtatious, which means that you know he’s being sincere. It’s cute to see him genuinely happy, and his statement that “I’m going to spend the rest of our lives together trying to make you happy,” is very good.

However, the “If you told me you never wanted me to look at another woman, I’d go blind for you” is going too far. I know it addresses his skirt-chasing character, but I just don’t know if they could have a healthy relationship. I know this is rating the support scene, not the ship itself, but I don’t think that’s a positive indicator for the future.

17. Claude 

This S-support gives me so many bad vibes. Yes, he expresses his love for Byleth as well as his utmost confidence in her, but dude, actions matter more than words, and your actions speak VOLUMES. He’s the only one to just run off at the end of the S-support, and while I understand his reasoning — I really do — it’s clear that his own agenda and ambitions will always come before Byleth.

This is what I heard: “Right now, Fodlan is like a newborn... so that’s why I’m leaving, so you have to do all the hard stuff yourself. See ya, sucker!!” Ah yes. Prime husband and father material there. Obviously.

“I’m sorry that I won’t be by your side at such an important event...” Uh huh, yeah right. You’re obviously itching to get out of there.

I’m sorry, Claude stans, but giving Byleth an engagement ring and then running away for who knows how long is LAME.

18. Jeritza

The first thing that struck me about this S-support is the fact that it takes place in the Agarthan HQ, Shambhala. This is super meaningful because it means that Byleth and Jeritza go there together to use their killing prowess to take out Those Who Slither in the Dark post-Crimson Flower. It’s a nice way to tie up the route. The portrait is super dynamic and unique, too. That being said…

He’s still fixated on killing Byleth. If that’s your thing, then hey, I can’t judge. At least we all know that if he hasn’t killed her by now, it’s never going to happen. It’s such an empty threat it’s probably an inside joke by now. But Jeritza’s clearly still figuring out his feelings, which means I’m not sure it really counts as an S-support (it would have made a better A+ support imho). There are also things about this pairing and S-support that have some serious implications for who Byleth has become by this point and what the future is likely to look like. Good storytelling, yes, but as an S-support…not my favorite.

Favorite quotes:

“It is you alone who can slay the demon inside me.”

“To the very depths of hell, I will tumble down with you.”

19. Linhardt

This S-support falls flat for me. It’s like Hanneman’s, but worse because it’s super self-centered. I feel like it’s a really bad summary of Linhardt’s character because so much more could have been done with it. Linhardt has lots of good traits, and this S-support ignores all of them. Instead, we have a one-dimensional S-support that focuses on Linhardt’s laziness and penchant for napping. He’s so self-centered and consumed by his own interests, so saying that he wants to study Byleth for the rest of his life makes her more like an accessory to his life plans rather than a central component. At least when Hanneman says he wants to study Byleth, he makes it very clear that he loves her and wants her as a person.

And the line where he says "I didn’t honestly think you’d reject me” is just…wow. Much disappoint. If I were Byleth I would turn him down on the spot just for saying that.

20. Ashe 

Ashe’s S-support comes off to me like he’s pledging himself to her as a vassal more than actually proposing. Yes, he does take initiative and does the proposing, which is consistent with the fact that Ashe is a gutsy little guy. But he’s so stuck on being helpful that the S-support ends up feeling immature. Plus, Byleth doesn’t seem very enthusiastic about the proposal compared to other S-supports, and overall Ashe’s worship of Byleth comes off as more dependent than romantic.

21. Caspar

We’ve reached the bottom four S-supports, starting with this disaster. Caspar is juvenile, reckless, and oblivious. (Don’t get me wrong — I adore his character and see him like a little brother.) Byleth has to take charge of the proposal, which is not a problem in itself, but then Caspar confesses that he hasn’t even thought about marrying Byleth — or anyone at all! asaslkjasdflk FAIL

At least the victory shout is kind of cute…if painfully cheesy.

And they get worse from here…

22. Rhea

I don’t have a lot to say here. I know I said that I would keep my personal feelings about the pairings themselves out of this, but I feel like there are certain things about this particular pairing that need to be addressed along with this S support.

Age gap aside (because frankly with immortals, age doesn’t really matter anymore), Rhea CREATED Byleth’s mother, essentially making herself Byleth’s grandmother. Incest vibes, yo. Plus, she fully intended to sacrifice Byleth’s life in order to bring back Sothis — which, granted, is a sentiment that wears off, and Jeritza is just as bad in terms of original intent to kill Byleth. This makes any kind of romantic revelation on Rhea’s side just…weird.

There are some good quotes in this S-support, and we get a ton of reveals about Rhea’s character development in a short amount of time. She’s self-conscious of her other form as a dragon, she acknowledges the wrongs she did in the past, and she expresses a desire to repent. She acknowledges the pivotal role that Byleth has played through her choices and accomplishments, rather than attributing them to fate and the “flow of time.” But honestly this would be more appropriate as a final scene at the end of the game, not a romantic S-support.

23. Cyril

Oh boy. Where do I start with this one? It’s so bad...

This boy is BABY. 19 years old after the war? Sure. Attractive design? Yes. But still, he. is. BABY. And the S-support portrait makes it so much worse by making him look freaking TEN.

And he’s so, so oblivious. Even worse than Caspar. He barely has a personality as a character outside of being committed to the servant mentality, and he has had no opportunity to discover himself as a freaking person outside of his obsession with Rhea. It should be illegal to even consider this kid for S-support. One thing would be if it was platonic, like Alois or Gilbert, but Byleth gives him the ring, and that means it’s supposed to be romantic.

Plus, Cyril says that he loves Byleth, but it’s super casual and comes off more like familial or friendship love rather than romantic love. Unless I missed something, I don’t think Byleth ever says that she loves Cyril in their S-support. And the end is just the worst: “Love ya, see ya in the morning.” That’s IT???? There is absolutely no indication of a mature relationship, and that’s just scary and gross.

I just…really hate this S-support. There’s only one S-support that’s worse…

24. Sothis

Forget everything that I said about keeping my feelings about particular pairings out of this ranking. This is a TRULY CURSED S-SUPPORT.

I don’t care that Sothis is technically a goddess whose age is beyond counting or mortal comprehension. All that matters is she looks like a child. She is lolibait. And to top it all off, she doesn’t even have physical form (thank goodness) — she’s just an apparition in Byleth’s head!

And this quote? “I love you deeply! Overwhelmingly! passionately! Ours is a love without an end!” I only have two words: PEAK CRINGE.

It would be one thing if Sothis came back in her adult form. Or better yet, if she had always been in her adult form as portrayed in the fresco in the reception hall. You can do something with that. But that’s not the case, Sothis is portrayed as a pre-pubescent child in both appearance and personality, and that’s just pedophilia vibes, y’all. I can’t believe this is a sincere S-support option.

[angellesword]

YOUR EYES TELL | JJK (10)

Summary: You live in a world where people see in black and white. The solution to finally see the colors? It's simple. You need to meet your soulmate and look at him in the eyes, but what if the person bound to you is already contented with the monochromatic world? What if...Jeongguk, your soulmate, is already in love with someone else?

Alternatively:

"A future without you is a world without color."

Genre: soulmate au, e2l, slow burn, angst, fluff, roommate au

Pairing: Artist!Jungkook x Lawyer!Reader

Word Count: 2.9k

SERIES: CHAPTER 9  | CHAPTER 11

Note: I just wanna dedicate this chapter to @jooniebugg coz your feedback in Your Eyes Tell (09) is <333 and it inspired me to write chapter 10! some lines in this update is my response to your comment heheh :*

You were not in trouble, but Jeongguk was.

"Guk," Jimin let out a breath as he closed his eyes. "Slow down, okay? I can't understand what you're saying."

But Jeongguk couldn't do it. He was sobbing uncontrollably that Jimin literally had to tell him to breathe.

Jeongguk tried to follow the instruction of his best friend's boyfriend. Breathe. It should be easy, right? He only needed to stop thinking about you in able to breathe properly.

Unfortunately, it was difficult to get you out of his mind.

"You good?"

Your soulmate nodded even though Jimin couldn't see his face. They're currently talking over the phone. Jimin called him after finding out what happened during the trial.

It was all over the news. Countless of articles were published online. Most of them were unreliable and full of speculations.

Jimin gave up after reading one sentence. He knew he had to call you to know the truth—or at least the fragments of truth. Jimin wasn't really interested in the case; he was only interested to know what was up with you.

Were you alright?

Jimin found some of your decisions in life questionable, yet he didn't say anything. He remained tight-lipped when you told him about your entangled fate not only with Jeongguk, but also with your assistant and client.

Just like your soulmate, Jimin could not understand why you were trying to defend Kim Seokjin. Their reason was different though. Jeongguk's thoughts were selfish. Jimin, on the contrary, was plain curious.

Why were you so invested in this case?

Was it because of your stubborn nature? Jimin knew that once you set your mind into something, you wouldn't stop until you won.

Jimin only learned to accept your competitive side when he realized that you were raised this way.

You didn't choose to be like this. You were actually forced to be like this. This being the case, Jimin was only able to release an exhausted breath after Jeongguk told him what happened in the courtroom.

Some might say that you pushed too hard, but this didn't give Mrs. Kim the right to hurt you.

"It's my fault, hyung. I wasn't there to protect her." Jeongguk bit the inside of his cheek.

It had been an hour since you locked yourself in your room and Jeongguk wasn't sure whether to comfort you or to just leave you alone.

It felt like you preferred the latter option. Jimin told your soulmate that you weren't answering your phone, an obvious indication that you didn't want to talk to anyone. This was also the reason why Jimin decided to just call Jeongguk to know if you were okay.

You weren't.

It was weird, but Jeongguk was positive he could feel your heart breaking. If this was any other day, he was sure that he would simply ignore this, but something definitely changed. Jeongguk didn't know why, but he had this intense urge to embrace you—to make you feel better.

"But you can protect her now, Guk. It will be hard, but please..." Jimin begged your soulmate. He didn't want to burden Jeongguk; however, the latter was the only person who could comfort you right now.

As much as Jimin wanted to embrace you, he couldn't. He was in Busan, his hometown, at the moment. Jimin was processing some important documents because he's planning to ask Taehyung to marry him.

"W-What can I do to make her feel better?" Jeongguk stammered. He's nervous, but he's decided. He couldn't let you go through this alone. It hadn't even been a day, yet he already missed your goofy side.

"You're a smart boy, Jeon. You'll figure out what she wants."

What do you want?

Jeongguk's heart was recoiling once again. He realized that he never knew what you wanted since you were always catering what others wanted.

You were a people pleaser.

"But if nothing works, just call her parents." This was Jimin's last reminder before ending the call.

Your soulmate didn't understand why Jimin thought it would be a good idea to call your parents. Jeongguk was pretty sure he could bring the smile back on your face without the help of anyone. He just needed to make sure you were not in some kind trouble first.

Jeongguk opened your laptop to send an email to your boss and other clients, telling them that you were taking a break from work.

Jeongguk was tired by the end of the week. Jimin was right. It was difficult to help you get back on your feet, mainly because you weren't trying.

You stayed in bed most of the time, you barely touched your food, and he felt like you didn't even want to live.

You looked so unmotivated that in the end, Jeongguk decided to just message your parents and invite them to your apartment—this was the reason why he was in trouble.

"You can't just do this without consulting me, Jeongguk."

His scowl deepened when you called him using his given name. You only did this when you were serious or mad. In this case, he figured out that you were mad—or at least he thought you were mad. Your voice was rough, similar to the tone you used when you were inside the courtroom.

Jeongguk was scared.

He was scared to upset you again.

"But Jimin-hyung told me to call your parents!" He reasoned out. Blaming your best friend was the only way Jeongguk could think of so that he could finally escape your piercing glare.

It worked.

Your expression softened a bit, though this didn't mean that he wasn't in trouble anymore.

"Jeongguk," this time your voice sounded tired.

"Y-Yes?" He pretended like he was busy sweeping the floor. Everything needed to be perfect because your parents would be here shortly.

You already accepted your tragic fate. It was decided. You were going to meet your mother and father today.

Damn it.

"Why did you block Hoseok's number?"

You saw how Jeongguk froze after hearing your question. No doubt, he was guilty.

"I-I didn't do it!" He lied.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

"You're not a good liar..." Amusement was now dancing in your voice.

Jeongguk had been using your phone to respond to your prospective clients. These people just didn't know how to stop. They kept texting your personal number even though Jeongguk told them that you were on a leave.

Your phone didn't have a passcode that's why he was able to freely access it.

You didn't mind. In fact, you were grateful. He saved your career. If he didn't send a notice of leave to your boss, you were sure you're gonna get fired.

"I'm not lying!" His lips protruded into a sulky pout. "I didn't send those messages!"

"Huh." You arched your brow. "But I only asked why you blocked Hoseok. I didn't say you texted him using my number."

Jeongguk's eyes went wide.

He was instantly busted.

"H-He was spamming you with useless messages!"

"I don't think so," you shook your head as you read the conversation. His excuse just kept on getting worse.

 "Wow. You're cold," you could imagine Hoseok's disbelief upon seeing the thumbs up emoji. It was actually apparent by your friend's response.

 "Jeongguk..." You called his name again.

"What!?" Why was he getting annoyed?

"You don't want Hoseok to kiss me?"

Jeongguk looked like the emoji he sent to Hoseok.

"And why would I want that!?" His chest was heaving up and down. You couldn't see, but his face was as red as tomatoes.

You suddenly laughed, causing Jeongguk's heart to swell in joy. This was the first time he heard you laugh after weeks of getting used to your impassive face.

Were you finally moving on?

Jeongguk guessed you were. Your expression literally changed the moment your parents arrived.

You looked happy to see them—too happy that Jeongguk felt like he was only imagining your annoyed expression a short while ago.

Didn't you say you hated the fact that he invited your parents to your place?

You did say that. Unfortunately Jeongguk had no idea how much you hated talking to your mom.

You swore you loved her with all of your heart, though her principles were different from what you believed in. It was draining to pretend like you agree with her.

"So how's the case you've been handling, sweetheart?" Your mother's sweet smile made you cringe.

It hadn't been long since she pulled you inside your room to 'talk.'

Your parents had already met Jeongguk. As expected, they loved him. Your soulmate made it very easy to like him. Perhaps it was because of his eyes. Damn those big, doe eyes. It never failed to make your heart melt.

"Good." You walked towards your bedroom door. "Let's go back to the kitchen. I think Jeongguk prepared some desserts."

"Dessert could wait, dear." Your mom offered you another sickening smile. It was the kind of smile that told you to give up. She always had her way of making you follow what she wanted you to do.

"Come on, eomma." You laughed nervously as you told her that your soulmate was excited to let her try his yaksik, a popular dessert that your mom truly loved.

You didn't know how Jeongguk found out your mother's favorite dessert. You just knew that you were willing to eat dozens of yaksik just to get away from your mom. You didn't even care if your stomach was still full after eating the lunch your soulmate had cooked.

Your mom only shrugged her shoulders as if she didn't hear what you said.

"Tell me about the Kim's case." She demanded as she meticulously inspected your wardrobe.

Your heartbeat doubled.

It was easy to simply give into what she desired because you were certain that she wouldn't stop anyway.

Sadly you couldn't speak—not anymore. Not when you knew how all of this would go.

You wanted to move on from this nightmare on your own. All your life, you relied upon what your mother would say.

"You can't be sad over this. It's nothing compared to what I've been through!"

"Stop crying. You just think you're hurt. You're not."

"No. You can't. That shows weakness."

These were some of the things your mother would say whenever you encountered problems in life. She honed you to be this strong person who wasn't allowed to mope.

You remembered her telling you that it was insensitive of you to cry over little things when it was clear that so many people had it worse than you.

This was exactly why you didn't want to meet your mother today. She would force you to stop feeling bad about Seokjin's case since it was petty.

It was funny actually. People admired you for always ignoring the pain you felt.

You found this toxic. It felt like you were expected to be strong—making you feel like you should heal right away and not with your own pace. This was also the reason why you found it hard to open up to people, even if you were really close to that someone.

Your mother made you feel like there would always be some kind of adversary when it came to handling inconveniences in life. Sometimes you wished people would shut up and just listen. You didn't always need advice. What you wanted was for them to stop quantifying pain because people had different tolerance when it came to feeling what's painful and what's not.

"I think I lost," it took everything not to cry in front of her. At the end of the day, you were still afraid to be perceived as weak.

She had that much control over you.

"Why did you lose?" Her voice was stone cold.

Your response was automatic. You told her what happened during the trial in spite of telling yourself that you would never get swayed by her authoritarian nature anymore.

"You don’t have to answer. I know now why you lost." She crossed her arms as she shook her head at you.

"Didn't I tell you? You lost because you didn't acquire enough knowledge." She proceeded to tell you what you already knew.

Your mom always said that knowledge is power, but the word "knowledge" that was delicately tattooed on your Achilles heel said otherwise.

For you, knowledge is downfall. This was why you chose to have that word tattooed on your Achilles heel—a part of your body that symbolized fatal weakness.

You were working as an auditor before you decided to go to law school. You knew this field inside out and it came with a price. You helped a firm conceal fraudulent acts using your knowledge.

It was a dangerous thing. Your mom tolerated your unprofessionalism since she was a major stockholder in the said company. She actually pushed you to continue the misrepresentation; however, you were guilty.

You couldn't do it anymore. You couldn't use the power you acquired to fool people. Law school taught you to uphold justice, but you were blinded once again.

You failed to see the impact of your actions to Soobin, an innocent soul. Maybe your mother was right. You were bound to fail your law career. Maybe you should just go back to the corporate world and help billionaires to achieve their disgusting scheme.

"Sorry," you swallowed hard, looking straight into your mother's eyes. "I'll do better."

"You should be." She gritted her teeth as she continued to invalidate your emotions.

You wondered when the torture would stop. You just wanna lie in bed and sleep the pain away. Luckily Jeongguk came knocking on your door, saving you from your mother's poisonous words.

"Wait," Jeongguk stopped you from following your mom to the living room.

"What's wrong?" He cupped your face; worry was evident in his eyes. You looked like you were in pain.

Did your mother say something to you? Jeongguk wondered.

"Nothing." But you brushed him off before he could ask.

Jeongguk pursed his lips into a thin line. He swore something was wrong, but he didn't want to push it since it was clear that you were not in the mood to talk about it.

But he couldn't stay still knowing that you were bothered. This being the case, he went out of his way just to make you smile.

Jeongguk was being such a good boy. He kept on praising you in front your parents. He was also respectful towards them. His jokes were appropriate and he smiled so kindly at them.

His lingering touch on your wrist, waist, and shoulders didn't go unnoticed by you. It was like he was guarding you from any possible danger.

"What do you think about this, my sweet daughter?" Your father showed you his artwork with a proud smile.

You chuckled.

Jeongguk was teaching your father how to draw.

"You did great, Appa!" You weren't lying. He had done a good job sketching The Hulk.

"Really? What about the color? Do you like it?"

You nodded eagerly. It wouldn't hurt to lie, right?

"I like the shade of green that you used."

You were expecting your father to smile back because of your compliment. Sadly, he only stared at you blankly.

"What?"  A nervous giggle escaped your lips.

Your parents and even Jeongguk were making you feel awkward. Why were they looking at you like you were a poor, poor soul?

"This Hulk is color pink." Your father said softly, making your breathing hitch.

He was trying to show contrast. The Hulk was the personification of rage. He colored him pink because in your world, the mentioned color symbolized gentleness. He wanted you to see in his drawing that people should be gentle even though they're angry.

You ruined it.

They probably know by now that you were lying when you said earlier that you could see colors.

Why did you even lie?

Why couldn't you just tell them that Jeongguk wasn't in love with you?

"Ah," you scratched the back of your head. "Is it pink? Sorry, Appa. I'm still trying to learn colors."

Your lie was understandable. You told your parents that you met Jeongguk a few months ago. It was impossible to know all colors in a short period of time.

You knew you weren't a great liar, but damn. When you looked at Jeongguk, he was smiling as he mouthed, "it is okay," to you.

He was saying that you were doing well, that you didn't ruin what your father had been wishing for: he wanted you to be loved by your soulmate.

You felt like Jeongguk loved you.

You couldn't stop staring at your soulmate as he continued to smile brightly at you.

In this moment, you swore you could see the brown in his eyes.

Or so you thought.

You just couldn't have one peaceful day, could you?

"N-No..." Your voice broke, tears falling down on the sheet of paper you were holding.

Your parents already left. Jeongguk was kind enough to drive them back to their hotel.

You were alone in the house.

The paper in your hand was mocking you, telling you that you would forever be alone in this house.

TRANSFER OF OWNERSHIP IN A CONTRACT TO SELL Vendee Jeon Jeongguk of  Room 13, Apartment X, Seoul, South Korea—you stopped reading the next words.

You couldn't believe it.

Jeon Jeongguk was going to leave you.