#but it actively caused him harm as he became lost in the VERY REAL world in his head

[redrobin-detective]

I keep thinking about how sad and unfair Ice King/Simon's relationship with Fionna and Cake was in the main Adventure Time series. We all made fun of him for writing gender bent fanfiction of Finn and Jake. Characters cringed at how obsessive Ice King got about his fantasies, the lengths he went to so they could be real. He believed so fiercely in those ideas that he acted out in ways that were extreme even for him.

Typical Adventure Time to take a gag and make it into something serious.

Because Fionna and Cake WERE real. Prismo created them and their world and then dropped it into Ice King's head. Yes, he had permission but did IK know the reason? The risks? What even was happening? Or did Prismo take advantage of the fact that Simon was a prisoner in his own mind with little agency to force more confusion into his scattered and incoherent brain. How much of his actions was the result of a godlike being knowing that Ice King's resultant behavior would be written off and dismissed.

In addition to the loss of sanity and identity Simon had to deal with over his years as Ice King, he also had the burden on an entire universe of living people living in his head adding to his delusions. How devastating that must have been for someone who could barely tell what was real on a good day.

[kitsunefyuu]

Headcanon for AFO - @psychomurderz

I also agree that he seems like someone that grew up too young likely as a result of caring for his little brother. As well as the climate during the Dawn of Quirks so there weren't any other families as even he mentioned as such in the flashback.

The comics he read with his little brother was likely an escape from reality thus why he clung to them. Until he realized his favorite character wasn't going to live. As likely he considered himself the 'badguy' before even becoming bad. Living in such an environment is likely to create someone with a more black-and-white view.

Also it one of those things where you never learn to rely on others or ask for help either. Which is likely why everyone at arm's length as never learned to be genuinely help.

However, like you I believe he wanted to do GOOD. So to speak considering the environment he likely was seeking control as a way to help. To protect himself and his only family was his first priority but his followers, while second, he did also want to protect. As it seems they genuinely adore him so I feel he does show something like genuine care.

But the reality is cruel. It isn't like the comics where 'heroes' and 'good intentions' win out. People will die, people will betray him, and the more failures the more he hardens himself. Just a bit more, just a little more and he will come out on top.

While his little brother can only see that this whole organization is TWISTING the brother he cared about. Or maybe he was always this twisted. The smiles his brother had weren't genuine but his brother was obsessed with his idea. He refused to stop but instead got paranoid of his brother's well-being.

Leading to him shutting his brother into a vault, literally! In his mind it likely because he thinks he can fix their relationship after. That everything would be ok as long as doesn't get emotional about it.

Then his brother escapes... Then he dies but not just die. It is very much his own fault and likely it is what killed most of his humanity.

Like his soul had just been scooped out just running on autopilot toward a goal that likely felt hollow. Pursuing the quirk, the only remaining piece of his little brother. Even if likely didn't fully understand about vestige it all he got.

This man feels like he basically lived as a corpse likely the doctor's research helped him keep going but might have wanted to quit. 200-years is a long time for someone who is in fact human. He wished to be dehumanized, to be seen as a monster, because then they won't attack the things he cares about. Then he become a real one when had nothing.

...Which makes the DFO theory if it is true, be something he hadn't expected to occur. In Izuku's name, he was called the long-awaited son just like Hisashi's name is a long time ago. Likely it was started with evil intentions if Inko a Shimura, he likely thought he could bail-

Only to realize no. He can't just give them up and that likely is terrifying as well as joyful. For a man who had thought he lost his humanity, that all he wanted was his brother's quirk and world domination. NOW there is a purpose beyond that.

And it's why he got Tomura and became active. And the hatred he feels for All Might only growing.

He's a lost, delusional, and unhappy man. Who is seeking his own happiness desperately but at the same time blind to it. Instead causing more harm and pain even to loved ones because is too selfish to give up anything.

And I'm excited to learn more about this man.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket Manga Review, ch (92-93)

That was painful & so well-written! This analysis will focus on kyokyo mainly & faintly on her effect on kyo. Although, her story affects tohru’s life immensely, I won’t analyze tohru’s part & will wait until it’s a tohru’s chapter to use the knowledge of kyoko’s past to better read tohru’s mind & understand her decisions! Can’t wait! after all, that’s why I’ve read the manga to begin with!

-Kyoko’s Atonement:  (the weight of words):

 Kyoko breaks down after she learns she’s expecting. Why? cuz she hurt her mom. The notion that “yeah my parents caused me emotional trauma & so I’mma hurt them as well” is toxic & burdening as it starts a cycle of pain. Kyoko was right. She had no idea how her mom felt seeing her rebel, or follow violence or hear her harsh words. I’m not cleansing the mom from guilt nor responsibility. I’m just saying since the mom’s pov is blocked from us, assuming shes similar to the dad is wrong. kyoko’s fear of being punished with a child similar to herself is genuine, realistic & refreshing to see expressed in anime! usually character like kyoko are cool & brave, but here she’s humanly weak & doubtful. LOVE IT!

Moreover, in furuba words weigh on ppl & have consequences. We see this with kyo. His dad destroyed him verbally with words “ not my fault, it’s yours” that kyo echoes back to yuki! meaning the consequences of the dad’s words cause harm to his wife, kyo & even yuki!. Kyo was tormented with his own words for long time & clung to them even more in order not to resort to suicide! “ not my fault, it’s the rat’s” . Words can crush you down so bad if you hear them from loved ones, & worse if you utter them back to other loved ones! here kyoko learned that just the mere thought of her future child echoing her words back to her would torment her to death! Excellent writing!

-Katsuya invented Furuba’s vision (Accepting weakness & moving on):

The teachings of kyoko & tohru were really katsuya’s after all. I’m fne with that. These teachings are the core of Furuba’s vision. He tells kyoko to accept that she’s weak, afraid & doubtful. it’s okay. But gives her tools to move on. Your kid isn’t you. They’re an individual person. As parents all we can do is give love/hugs (sth kyoko’s parents didnt do), listen to them (sth yuki’s parents didnt do) & if they do sth wrong will explain it & teach them well (sth kyo’s parents didn’t do, his wrong deed was being born a cat spirit & he was hated for it with no explanation, mom gave lots of “fake” love & escaped by death, dad became a raging monster). Accepting weakness & moving on is what the cursed sohmnas needed to do to heal & what tohru taught them. Off course, tohru herself struggled to follow her own teachings & that’s amazingly realistic!

-Kyoko’s guilt (punishment brings ease):

Kyoko wanted to be punished so harsh for her husband’s death. The gossip got to her. She failed him as a life’s companion. Taking care of our loved ones is a duty we carry with much love & care. Them slipping away is perceived as us failing by none than ourselves. The thing is, death comes with no warning at times. It was his time to leave. Accepting it or not, wont bring him back, but accepting it will help kyoko deal with pain while not accepting will cause more pain for her & tohru.

One of the most painful things abt grief is that it’s personal. Life continues around you. Only you feel it.  “didn’t the world end when katsuya died”. No kyoko. Only you died emotionally. Only him died physically. Kyo once said “ mom why didn’t you kill me instead”. A different reaction to grief, guilt & pain, but same conclusion: neither katsuya nor kyo’s mom are coming back no matter how much pain kyo or kyoko felt.

Kyoko found ease in emotional death, neglecting & refusing life, punishing herself for staying after him.

kyo found ease in rage & blaming others as he his father did, later he’ll escape to emotional & physical slow death “ cat cage/confinement”.

tohru... found ease in pretending "I’m okay” & her mom is alive.. but not physically.. emotionally, so she’ll ignore the truth & live only for her.

Didn’t I say grief is harsh, weird & very very personal. It’s hard to explain, deal with & heal. The mere words of consolation hurt cuz the grieving ones dont want to accept loved one are really gone. Her dad’s harsh words cemented the “emotional death” that kyoko felt. I’m not needed. neither katsuya. nor parents in general. depression. misery. sadness. emptiness.

-The tv show helped to trigger kyoko’s desire to “meet” katsuya. She has already reached the conclusion that she isnt needed. So, the tv show with their words of the deceased wanting you to be happy. triggered her into misinterpreting the words as to mean her death NOT fuel her to live in his memory as intended.

- “Loosing your way first before finding your answer” is okay & so human!:

Ironically..Tohru... was the person Kyoko was punishing NOT herself: By being emotionally dead, kyoko neglected her daughter. Her world shouldnt be just one person. There are others. Katsuya himself gave her a person to love. Tohru. Kyoko chose death & unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher thsn what kyoko faced. She was about to do, but was saved by a nameless child who reminded her of tohru. She chose wrong first but later saw her answer. Kyo chose death by accepting the confinement & he, too, unintentionally set tohru into a world of loneliness 10 times harsher if he wasnt with her. He chose wrong first but later saw his answer. Off course kyo’s story is more developed & complicated as he dealt with bigger issues than just tohru & his answer wasn't just loving tohru alone but also loving himself & choosing to live for them both: himself & tohru.

-Kyo’s guilt is a concussion thought eating him alive:

Part of why kyo’s story was one of the most human & complex is due him loosing his way first, failing, repeating mistakes “ I always though that hurting ppl was the only thing I was good at, after all, isnt that why mom died?” Kyo’s nightmare being a conscious effect of hearing tohru’s talk abt “ videos & memories of loved ones” is 1000 times stronger & more human than a cliche effect of seeing a “ hat” & to revive a a blocked memory... What the hell!! truly disgusting how the emotional weigh is reduced for stupid cliche drama !!!!!! ..

Anyway, kyo actively & consciously wanted punishment .He was sure that kyoko blamed him” I wont forgive you” can only mean what it literally means. The purpose of the nightmare is to cause kyo to seek “ emotional death” like kyoko & to loose his path more. It is meant to prepare kyo to refuse tohru even more. Therefore, the pay off at the climax will be better & stronger.

Reading kyo’s inner thoughts will never not be refreshing!!! Also, the slow burn is cooked on low , hot fire , so the pay off will be the most delicious there is!

Side Notes:

I’ve stated my feelings regarding the age gap between kyoko & katsuya in last chapter’s preview post. I’m done with it & won’t let it interfere with my analysis of kyoko nor tohru.

The idea of just being together as a fun hanging out activity without being bothered much of where reminds ms so much of kyo & tohru!! we see them being happy together in the anime in kazuma’s house, shigure’s rooftop, cooking pancake in the kitchen! I really like this domestic feel of romance! it contradicts the notion of expensive restaurant with the girl wearing a breathtaking dress to woo the guy for it to be utterly romantic as we see in movies, & other stories.

NGL, katsuya looked sexy waiting home.. damn it! >_<

I cried watching tohru between her parents, how they acted & how loved she was! T_T. it reminded me of my niece How her dad’s death affected her! She was the apple of his eyes.. T_T.

Tohru is indeed a rice ball! her dad gave her a masculine name while tohru is so feminine! his reasoning is “finding salty taste in sweet things make the taste better & stronger, kinda giving it a hidden flavour”, the rice ball has a pickle inside it & it’s what makes the taste so savory & delicious!

Grandpa’s “ chance meetings could lead to variety of outcomes, good or bad” YES! kyo/tohru/yuki meeting each other by chance. Fiction make it look weird, but trust me, real life has those by dozens!

“ i wonder how lost you’ll be, how much time you’ll need to get your answer”. He will screw up so bad, kyoko! it will be so good! one of the best screw up’s I’ve seen! so painful for him & tohru & amazingly written!

Kyo’s nightmare being connected to him remembering/dreaming of kyoko’s story is bigger effect than opening the ep with it & having the cause be sth that happened last ep, a week ago... the effect is NOT the same.

Momiji is so cute!!! did his curse break here or not yet? he seemed as tall as tohru.

Writing tohru worried abt kyo after seeing him pale is the tohru I know!! Not that stupid girl who watches the guy she loves have a panic attach in se3, ep6, then goes in ep 7...” dahhhh.. Jeez.. I duno why kyo is sleeping until now.. better laugh & make cute rice cakes” giggle giggle...That scene got me so furious even when I first saw it!! THIS IS NOT TOHRU! tohru cried for a stupid story that haru told abt puppets!! she’ll forget the person she challenges herself for is sick?! ugh!

I love seeing yuki & kyo chill & cool around each other.

Kyoko being fully dependent on katsuya can be a factor in her grief, but I’ve seen cases where both partners are independent but still be completely broken after the others’ death. Grief isn’t logical at all & is extremely personal.

[eyeofthedrgn]

A Heavy Battle Symphony Chapter 8

Catch up here >> AHBS Masterlist

TW: language, mental abuse, verbal abuse, physical abuse, violence, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, self harm, self-esteem issues, sexual abuse (only alluded to briefly in future chapters), drinking (comes up late in the story) just a lot of trauma, angst, smut - lots of lovely gay smut

Word count: 1739

Notes: This chapter is slightly graphic on the physical abuse. It's only like two lines, but I wanted to make it known.

Chapter 8 - Sorry for Now

After a while you may forget

But just in case the memories cross your mind

You couldn't know this when I left

Under the fire of your angry eyes

I never wanted to say goodbye

Four months, thirteen days, and ten hours, not that he was counting, since he left. Since the dark haired boy had walked away, leaving Rowan standing on the sidewalk. Since his mind spiraled out of control, and it felt like part of him died.

Rowan had been seeing a therapist for the last three months. It had helped, somewhat. At least he could function as a relatively normal human being again, when he was around people anyway. Most of the time. He almost didn't graduate. Thankfully, his mom, his friend group, and his therapist had helped him get through it.

But all in all, Rowan felt empty. Somehow his heart was broken. He hadn't realized someone could get so attached to someone so fast even though they never really talked or hung out. Maybe it was because they shared such vulnerabilities with each other that day in the park or there really was such a thing as a soulmate and his just left him. Either way, he was broken inside. Yet, he still went to parties with his friends, hung out, but he wasn't always present. Everyone noticed the vacant stares, but they usually left it alone. They all knew the general gist of what happened that day, but they could never understand the emotional gravity well that that day had caused. No one knew that Rowan had fallen for the other boy.

Except the ever observant Elide. She noticed everything. The way Rowan spoke about Lorcan, the way his eyes lit up when he saw the other boy walking down the hall, and the small looks they both shared on cast signing day.

But nobody had seen Lorcan after he had walked away. He never came back to school. No one knew what to think. Most assumed they moved again and they left it at that. Rowan assumed the worst after seeing Lorcan's bruises and him basically saying this was a usual occurrence.

Rowan was brought back to the present when a beach ball hit him in the head. He was sitting on the edge of Aelin's pool, sulking, feet dangling in the water. Aelin was throwing one of her parties, it was nearly the end of summer and soon most of them would head off to college. The noises from his friends finally filtering back into his head, it was suddenly too loud, too bright, and too hot. He ran a hand down his face.

Fenrys had been the beach ball throwing culprit, Rowan just glared at him.

"Come on, Ro. Try and have some fun?" Fen had swam over to Rowan and crossed his arms over the edge of the pool. The roguish blond just wanted him to be happy.

“I’m sorry.” He said that a lot now. Fenrys just raised an eyebrow at the boy… man.

He was eighteen now and he wasn't that scrawny, nerdy looking boy anymore. Rowan supposed that was one good thing that came out of Lorcan leaving, he got addicted to working out. There was a punching bag set up in the garage with some weights. He was fit now, muscles defined, but not bulky.

Elide walked up and mussed up his hair. "Come help me get some drinks." She didn't leave any room for argument.

In the kitchen, Elide just leaned forward on the island and looked at Rowan.

"I thought we were getting drinks."

"Yeah, we will. But-"

"But what?" He really didn't mean to say that with such an attitude, but he was hot and emotionally exhausted. Honestly, he just wanted to go home.

Elide was on her phone, waiting for him to chill. Taking a deep breath he said, "I'm sorry. What did you want to talk about?" Rowan was trying, he really was. She just slid her phone over the counter towards him. He furrowed his brows as he looked at the article on the screen.

Consultants for Erawan Enterprises arrested on counts of fraud, child abuse, human trafficking, and other illicit activities

"What's this?" He had no idea what this was about. Why would he care about Erawan Enterprises?

He picked up the phone and kept reading since Elide clearly wasn’t going to answer. It was short and there was a photo of a devastatingly beautiful woman with dark as night hair, that reminded him of Lorcan, and alabaster skin in handcuffs being pushed into a cop car and a very angry man shoved against the hood of the same car.

Maeve Valgerian and James Perrington were arrested Wednesday night. After some anonymous tips to the Morath Police.

"Who are these people?" Rowan didn't understand.

"Pretty sure she's Lorcan's aunt."

Oh.

Rowan had searched for Lorcan online after he disappeared, but there was literally nothing. Absolutely zero results. It was like he was a ghost.

They were consultants for Erawan Enterprises and moved all over the world for the very powerful man. Erawan Enterprises is under investigation for fraud, money laundering, and human trafficking.

After Valgerian and Perrington were arrested, MPD searched their residence and found incriminating evidence against them.

There was also a teenager held captive in the basement. They were taken to the nearest hospital with severely critical injuries. The name and gender of this individual will not be released for their safety.

The article was published nearly two months ago.

Human trafficking…

Held captive...

Severely critical injuries...

"Please, don't break my phone." He was squeezing the device and didn't realize it. Quickly handing it back to her, his hand went straight to his hair.

“Are you sure this is his aunt?”

“Well, not 100%, but they have physical similarities and their hair…” she trailed off. “And Lorcan had mentioned his aunt’s boyfriend living with them one day in class.”

"Fuck!" He felt like he wanted to rip his hair out.

"Ro." Elide's voice was quiet.

"FUCK!"

After a couple deep breaths, he ran his hands down his face, and then turned to face his friend. "Is he dead?" His voice cracked.

"I don't know. All of the other articles I could find are just about them and Erawan Enterprises. No mentions of Lorcan. Anywhere. It's like he doesn't exist."

Elide pulled him into a hug and he broke.

---

Lorcan had been through shit show after shit show since he left the Whitethorn house. As soon as he returned to the apartment, it was packed up into a moving van and they were gone.

They were in Fenharrow for a couple months. Maeve didn't enroll him in school. He was locked in the basement of the small house they rented, it felt like he had gone crazy. He hadn't seen the sun until they moved again. His skin turned a sickly gray. By the time they moved again, he could feel every one of his ribs, and his hips stuck out, his fingers overlapping when wrapped around his wrist.

Next move was to Morath. Lorcan didn't know if he would survive. He didn’t have a good feeling about this place. The basement became his home yet again. It was filthy. There were thick iron hooks in opposite walls and chains hanging from them. This was where he was going to die. He closed his eyes as Perrington latched the shackles around his wrists.

---

One day, Lorcan heard sirens intermittently. He kept passing out. He wasn't even sure he was hearing sirens or if it was just a ringing in his ears. They were always ringing nowadays. A punch to his face made his vision flicker. Blood and saliva leaked from his mouth as his head rolled down to his chest.

The ringing in his ears got louder. There definitely weren't sirens. No one was going to save him. He was going to die here. He knew it. It was what he deserved. The bastard born half-breed that no one cared about, left to die in his own filth in a disgusting basement. The world slowly faded to black.

---

Beep.

Beep.

Beep.

He was in Hel. He had to be.

Beep.

The incessant beeping was there to drive him insane. And the smell of bleach was there to make him sick.

Beep.

---

Lorcan startled awake. How could he be awake? He was supposed to be dead. Right?

The nightmare he was having felt so real. Probably because he had lived it before. He assumed that was just what Hel was supposed to be, reliving the worst parts of your life.

But instead, he was in a bed, a hospital bed. Why did they save him? Lorcan wasn't worth saving. Yet, here he was covered in wires, tubes, a needle stuck in his hand, a device on his finger. It was dark outside and the lights were dim in the room.

Deciding he wasn’t actually dead, he took stock of his body, he was certain he had some broken ribs, but nothing else seemed to be broken which was surprising. He was definitely sore and stiff. And exhausted. So exhausted.

---

After… Lorcan didn't know how long he was discharged. He had put on some weight, though not a lot. The staff made sure he ate. They were all nice and cared for him. But now, he stood outside the main entrance of the hospital in some scrubs they gave him. Now, he had nothing. Nobody. He may as well have been lost at sea.

Why had they saved him? He still couldn’t figure that out.

Somehow, he managed to find the small house that he had been stuck in for who knows how long. There was police tape over the door. The door was open.

He pushed through the tape. The house was a mess. It seemed the cops had ransacked the place. But he finally found his things, they were strewn about the floor. Thank Hellas, his journal was still there. After changing, he packed up his books and journal, some clothes, and a few other other necessities.

He needed money or something he could sell. Maeve's jewelry would help. He could pawn it.

Lorcan asked the pawnshop owner for directions to the bus station, and then he set out to see if there was still one person who cared about him. Hopefully this wasn’t a bad idea.

____

Thanks for reading. Things will get better, I promise! Let me know if you'd like to be tagged.

Edit- oops! I forgot to actually put in tags... My bad. Sorry!

@thenerdandfandoms @starlightorstarfire

[girlactionfigure]

Heart Doctor with Heart

He won the Nobel Peace Prize

Dr. Bernard Lown was a Jewish immigrant from Lithuania who invented the heart defibrillator, transforming the field of cardiology and saving countless lives. He was a passionate peace activist who won the Nobel Prize for co-founding Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War.

Born to an erudite Jewish family in Lithuania in 1921, Bernard and his father, a rabbi, emigrated to Maine soon after his bar mitzvah to escape Nazi persecution. He attended the University of Maine, where he earned a bachelor’s degree in zoology, and then went to medical school at Johns Hopkins. As someone who’d fled his country because of ethnic hatred, he was especially sensitive to racism, and caused controversy in medical school for inviting a black doctor to speak on public health issues in the African-American community. Bernard was briefly expelled from school for protesting the segregation of blood in the hospital’s blood bank.

After receiving his MD in 1945, Bernard married his cousin Louise Lown. Their marriage would last 73 years. He said, “When you ask about my heroes, clearly I have many – my wife Louise foremost.” In the 1950’s, Bernard became a physician and researcher at Harvard Medical School, specializing in cardiology. He also taught at the Harvard Chan School of Public Health, where he was among the first to emphasize the crucial role of nutrition in treating and preventing many illnesses including heart disease.

As a young cardiologist, Bernard’s mentor was Dr. Samuel Levine, who encouraged him to study the common practice of putting heart attack patients on bed rest for 4-6 weeks, which often led to pulmonary embolisms. In what became known as the “Levine Chair study,” Bernard found that having patients sit in a comfortable chair improved outcomes significantly. This simple discovery changed the standard of practice for heart patient care.

Bernard was determined to find a way to prevent the most common cause of death: cardiac arrest. After hearing about cases where patients were resuscitated with an AC electric shock, which was very dangerous, Bernard wanted to find a safer type of electric current. He worked with fellow Eastern European refugee Baruch Berkovitz, an electrical engineer, and after a year of intensive research, in 1961 Bernard developed a new defibrillator that used a DC current. It was so safe and effective that the DC defibrillator soon became the universally accepted treatment for cardiac arrest.

Bernard pioneered the use of the drug lidocaine to treat heart disorders. In 1965 at Brigham Hospital in Boston, Bernard  organized one of the first coronary care units focused on the prevention of heart rhythm disorders. He proved that continuous EKG monitoring and well-trained nurses could identify arrhythmias early and save lives. Bernard founded the Lown Cardiovascular Research Foundation in 1973 to promote heart health through research and global education.

His research had an extraordinary impact on the practice of clinical medicine around the world. “The physician is not a glorified repairman of a broken-down machine; being treated is a human being with a mind and a soul.” He listened to his patients and considered them his partners in healing. Bernard wrote many bestselling books including “The Lost Art of Healing” and “Practicing the Art While Mastering the Science.”

In addition to his enormous contributions to the medical field, Bernard was a lifelong peace activist. He founded Physicians for Social Responsibility in 1961 because “you cannot be committed to health without being engaged in social struggle for health.” As the Vietnam War ramped up, Bernard organized the Committee of Responsibility to Save War Burned and War Injured Children, and brought about 100 seriously injured Vietnamese children to the United States for medical treatment.

In 1980 Bernard and Soviet cardiologist Dr. Eugene Chazov co-founded International Physicians for the Prevention of Nuclear War. Bernard said, “This was the greatest political issue of our time, because it didn’t just mean the death of an individual, but the death of multitudes. Why would doctors not get involved?” The doctors lobbied their countries for a moratorium on nuclear testing and building nuclear weapons, and held the first IPPNW World Congress, which attracted 80 medical leaders from twelve countries. In the next few years the group opened chapters in more than 60 countries and had over 200,000 physician members. For alerting people to the very real danger of nuclear war, IPPNW won the 1985 Nobel Peace Prize.

In his acceptance speech, “A Prescription for Hope,” Bernard said, “The ‘myth of the other,’ the stereotyping and demonizing of human beings beyond recognition, is still pervasive and now exacts inordinate economic, psychological and moral costs.” Incredibly, at the awards ceremony, a Russian journalist collapsed from cardiac arrest. Bernard and his Russian counterpart Dr. Chazov rushed to resuscitate the reporter and save his life. “When crisis comes, Soviet and American cardiologists cooperate,” Bernard said. His book “Prescription for Survival,” focusing on his anti-war activism, came out in 2008. That year, the Bernard Lown Peace Bridge was dedicated in Lewiston Maine.

Bernard was concerned about overtreating patients – ordering tests and procedures that often did more harm than good – and in 2012 he helped organize “Avoiding Avoidable Care,” the first global conference dedicated to the issue of overtreatment. He said, “Do as much as possible for the patient, and as little as possible to the patient.”

Dr. Bernard Lown died on February 16, 2021 at 99 years old. He is survived by three children, five grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. His wife Louise died in 2019.

For saving lives and creating peace, we honor Dr. Bernard Lown as this week’s Thursday Hero.

Accidental Talmudist

[marshmallow-phd]

Catching Rain

Part of The Untamed - EXO Wolf Universe

Genre: Wolf!AU

Pairing: Minseok x Reader

Summary: You were more than satisfied with your life. You attended a nice college, had nice friends, a nice boyfriend. That’s what your life was: nice. You weren’t looking for anything more, so what were you to do when this seemingly harmless boy walked into your life and turned your nice little world into one much more dangerous?

Part: 1 I 2 I 3 I 4 I 5 I 6 I 7 I 8 I 9 I 10 I Epilogue

**

Junmyeon stared at him for a few blinks. Awkwardness washed over Minseok as he ran a hand through his hair. Maybe saying it out loud was a mistake. Maybe he should have tried seeing you as a human first, just to make sure that the pull was real and not some weird effect of running for so long. Maybe the trees were giving off a weird perfume that messed with his head. 

“Y-you think you found her?” Junmyeon stammered. “How? Where?”

“In the woods, just now when I was out with the others,” Minseok answered. 

Junmyeon scratched the top of his head. “Wow. That’s, um… that’s convenient.”

Minseok scoffed. “Sure. It could be. Except that I was a wolf.

“Oh.” 

Neither spoke for a minute or two. Minseok tapped his foot against the worn boards of his bedroom. He was tempted to tell Junmyeon never mind, to forget it and that he’d figure it out on his own – then go ask Jongdae for his advice. He was easier to talk to.

But a part of Minseok knew that wouldn’t be helpful. Given Jongdae’s reservations on the whole “mate” ordeal, his advice might not be the answer. “Ignore it” wasn’t exactly the best route to go down. 

“So, you just need to meet her in person?”

Minseok looked over at the alpha, a bit surprised. Yeah, that would make sense. That would probably be the best way to solve all of this. You meet him in person, feel the pull yourself, problem solved. He nodded. 

“Did she give you any hint of what her name is or any other clue as to how we can find her again?”

Minseok was unable to hold back the flinch at Junmyeon’s question. There was a moment’s hesitation before he reached under the pillow and pulled out your notebook. He really, really hoped this didn’t come across as creepy or inappropriate. “She accidentally left this behind,” he explained. He flipped open to the cover where what could only be your name was displayed. 

“That’s a good start,” Junmyeon smiled encouragingly. Taking the notebook and securing it under the crook of his arm, he stood up from the bed. “It might be a long shot, but we can see if she’s a student at the university.”

Minseok jumped up. “Really?”

Junmyeon nodded, patting the older wolf on the back. “Being a professor has its privileges.”

Rolling his eyes, Minseok headed for the door. “Let’s just go and search the records, Professor Kim.”

**

“I really shouldn’t be doing this.” 

“This was your own suggestion!” Minseok snapped. They were already in his office, Junmyeon in his chair with the registry search already pulled up on the screen. Now was when he decided to start questioning his own plan? 

“I know, I know,” Junmyeon grumbled. “But now that I’m doing it, I feel like I’m crossing a line. I’m a brand new professor, I could get in serious trouble by using the registry for personal use.”

Minseok felt only a tiny bit of sympathy. Besides, a lie as to why he was looking up a particular student would be easy to make. “If the stories are true, then it’s worth it.”

Junmyeon’s hands hovered over the keyboard before he could type in the name. “You mean, the stories of what could happen after you find your mate?”

“Yeah…. Those ones scare me.”

“Hey.” Junmyeon turned in his chair and clapped a hand on Minseok’s shoulder. The latter looked over, anxiety more than apparent in his eyes. “It’ll be alright. Mates rarely ever reject their wolves. Besides, who would ever want to reject the smart and handsome Kim Minseok?”

To his horror, Minseok actually felt his face heat up from the compliment. He shoved Junmyeon’s hand away. “Stop it.”

Fairly pleased with himself, Junmyeon went back to typing in your name, snickering to himself. 

“Alright,” Junmyeon sighed after clicking through several, somewhat unnecessary, search criteria. He hit the desk with his palm, very pleased indeed. “She is a student here. With the Fine Arts College.”

Minseok leaned in closer and confirmed with his own eyes that the ID photo on the school’s site matched who he saw in the clearing. By now, he was sure he’d know that smile anywhere. He just needed to learn about the rest of you. “That explains why she was out in the woods taking pictures.”

“Ah, a photographer.” Junmyeon smiled brightly with a twinge of mischief. “The others will have fun with that.”

“Can we not tell the others?” Minseok asked quietly. They’d already lied and said that they were headed to the university for “emergency meetings” with students. The pack hardly cared, murmuring “see you later”s as the two eldest members walked out the door. As much as the others would deny it, keeping secrets from them wasn’t as hard as they thought. 

It wasn’t that they didn’t care. They were family. If something was wrong, they were there for each other. Despite what had happened in the past… well, they were a pack. They would listen and help - after a few jokes from the peanut gallery. 

“They’ll figure it out eventually.”

Minseok nodded. “I know. But I’d rather have this whole thing figured out before they catch whiff of it. This is stressful enough without their antics.”

“That’s… accurate.” Junmyeon laughed a bit to himself at the thought. “Alright. I’ll keep it to myself. Besides, what harm could come from keeping this a secret?”

Relief helped Minseok relax his shoulders, the burden eased just a tiny bit. “Exactly. Now, though I’m sure I’ll regret it later because of how stalkerish it sounds, what’s her schedule?”

The next morning, Minseok was full of confidence. He was dressed much better than his normal laid back, might have just rolled out of bed, might have just come from the gym style. The guys always made fun of him for eighty percent of his closet being athletic wear, but he preferred being in clothes he could move in. 

Today, well, he could still move in these jeans and the T-shirt was breathable, at least. Armed with the knowledge that you would have to cross this part of the campus to get to your morning class, Minseok leaned up against one of the trees littering the courtyard and waited. His watch slowly ticked the seconds by. Each little tock sent his heart racing faster. He was going to see you in person, as a human this time. Would the pull be different? Stronger? There wasn’t any other way to know until he saw you. 

And there you were. 

With slow, almost heavy steps, you made your way down the sidewalk. Your eyes were unfocused. Okay, that must mean you were preoccupied. Something was weighing you down. He almost chickened out, telling himself that maybe he should try another time when you didn’t seem so downcast. 

The wolf in his chest, mostly dormant up until now, growled at him. That second part of his nature wasn’t usually pushy like this. Before the clearing, the wolf only showed up when Minseok’s frustration was getting the better of him. And that was usually Baekhyun’s fault. Right now, though, the wolf was pushing him to go forward with the plan, barking and clawing to get what it wanted. Because who knew when another good chance like this would happen?

Alright. Minseok gave in. After running his hands through his hair - a nervous fidget - he replaced his ball cap and strutted out to put his plan into action. 

**

You were two seconds away from screaming. Or throwing something. Or a combination of the two. 

Last night you hadn’t thought much about it, but this morning an idea came to you for an upcoming project in one of your classes and you wanted to write it down before it left you for good. Only problem? Your notebook was missing. 

You tore through every pocket of your bag, became a tornado around your dorm, and even crawled around your car like a toddler to try and find it. But there was only one sorry conclusion you could come up with on its whereabouts: the clearing.

Whimpering, you sat down on the asphalt next to your open car door. Every possible scenario ran through your head. The dew from the grass ruined the pages and ran the ink, making every note illegible. A rabbit taking it back to use for its nest. That wolf making the leather binding its new favorite chew toy. 

You laughed to yourself at that last thought. Do wild wolves even like chewing on things like their domesticated brethren? Then again, that wolf was an odd one. Given his behavior at coming across you in the clearing, you weren’t sure the ordinary rules of nature counted for him. 

One last sigh and you picked yourself up from the ground. For now, you would have to put off going back to the clearing. Class started soon and you couldn’t really afford to miss it. You threw your bag over your shoulder and used your foot to shut the car door before clicking the fob and activating the locks. The beep-beep told you that all was secure so you headed towards the main campus. 

The stress you were feeling seemed to be manifesting itself on the faces of the commuting students around you. Or, really, they were just as stressed as you were, since that was current college life. Though their own source of stress was probably vastly different from your own. How were you going to tell Erik that you’d lost your notebook? He was attentive about those kinds of things. Soon he would ask where it went or why you hadn’t used it in a while. Hopefully, it would still be in the clearing with only a minuscule amount of water damage and you wouldn’t have to come up with some lie as to how you lost it. The truth would only cause a fight that you would prefer to avoid. 

“Oomph!”

Your shoulder suddenly crashed into a solid object, bringing you out of your thoughts. The sound of paper flopping through the air made you flinch.

“I am so sorry!” Still not looking at whatever poor soul you ran into, you crouched down and started to help shuffle together the insane amount of worksheets. 

“It's alright, really.” 

“No, I should have….” You looked up and nearly gasped. 

Meeting the eyes of the person you’d ran into sent your head spinning. The world seemed to be tilting back and forth as if it were on a teeter-totter. Your breath caught in your throat. Never had you seen this person before. There was no rational explanation for why you were having this sort of reaction. Not even the handsome leads in the dramas you watched caused your heart to beat this fast.

Staring back at you were irises that were the deepest brown eyes you’d ever had the pleasure of connecting with. You were mere inches from the round yet straight nose and the wide, shining smile that revealed its owner’s pearly teeth. Though focused on the face, you could make out a fitted black tee and jeans snug tight. 

“Been paying attention,” you finished lamely and awkwardly.

“No, I was in too much of a hurry,” the man countered. Or, boy? You weren’t entirely sure. He had a timeless face, the kind that could both easily make him a tenured professor or be asked for his ID at the liquor store. 

“I’m sorry. Here.” You held out your poorly stacked papers out for him. “I don’t make you anymore late.”

“No! No, I-I’m not in a hurry!” he stammered. “I just… I just usually walk really fast. Having friends that are eighty-five percent legs created the habit.”

You laughed, nearly snorting out your nose between giggles at the joke. The muscles in your legs were screaming at you for how long you’d forced them to stay crouched, but you ignored them. To you, it was like time had momentarily paused. If you stood up or broke eye contact, then the clock would tick on again. 

Guilt yanked you back into reality. You shouldn’t be reacting like this, thinking like this when you were committed to someone else. Clearing your throat, you pushed yourself up and broke the stare. Time started forward again. 

“I, um, I should get going.” Yes. Yes, you should be getting to class. So, then, why were your feet refusing to comply?

The smile on his face didn’t dim as he, too, straightened up. “Right. You probably have class. I won’t keep you, but… I’m Minseok.” He held his hand out for you to take. 

You hesitated a moment and then metaphorically shook your head. It was just a friendly handshake. Hardly cheating. Besides, you doubted you would see him again on this big campus. “(y/n).” 

As soon as your palm met his, a strange heat or electricity ran up your arm, causing you to jump back in surprise. Minseok also seemed surprised by the charge. 

Almost nervously, he laughed, “Static electricity is always a shock, isn’t it?”

“Ha!” You slammed a hand over your mouth as soon as the sound escaped. You should not have laughed at the pun. Trying but certainly failing, you covered the laugh with a pathetic cough. “It was nice to meet you, Minseok. I hope you have a good day.” You hurried down the sidewalk, barely catching his confused response.

“You… too.”

You didn’t stop until you made it inside the building, shuffling over to the side so you weren’t blocking the entrance. Back against the painted cement blocks that made up the wall, you forced your thoughts to cohesively straighten out. 

This was a college. Funny, attractive boys were a dime a dozen here. Erik was one of them, no offense to him. You liked your funny and cute college boy. From your brief interaction, you didn’t see anything different or special about that Minseok. So why was your heart still refusing to calm down? You placed a hand over your chest as if that would put it back to normal. Taking the risk, you peeked out the glass doors, but the sidewalk you’d run into him was now empty. 

Who was that boy?

A valid question, but one for which you were not going to actively pursue an answer for. Going forward, you were going to put the boy out of your head and move on with your life, leaving it nothing but a random encounter without consequence or side effects. 

But as you headed down the hall to your classroom, something told you that this was nowhere near the end.

[fandom-necromancer]

You and me against the world

This was prompted by an amazing anon! The universe didn’t want this story written, but I summoned my inner Gavin and said phck the universe. I hope you enjoy! The lost version is better stylistically, but I still like it!

Fandom: Detroit become human | Ship: Reed900 (Warning: Graphic depiction of violence, Hank is OOC for the sake of having an antagonist) [Part2]

It should have been easy: Sit in a room, drink some water, look important, answer some questions and get back to work. Had Gavin known how it ended, he would have never agreed to do this stupid live interview about human-android relations after the revolution.

‘Hello! This is Joss Douglas from Channel 16, reporting live from the DPD’s fifth precinct where the very first android joined the police force. We have the unique possibility to interview not one but two human-android work partners. Let’s greet Lieutenant Anderson and Connor, who had worked here even before deviation, as well as Nines and Detective Reed!’ Gavin tried to keep up a neutral but nor intimidating face and hoped Hank to lead the talk. Their dislike was mutual, but at least they had managed to stay professional so far. He nodded his greeting after Connor and Hank answered with a polite hello. ‘Okay, then let’s jump in right away!’ The reporter announced flashing a well-trained smile that should calm as well as impress. ‘I guess the question most people out there would love to ask is how it is to work as a deviant with the police. During the revolution it isn’t too wrong to assume you had been opposing forces.’ The reporter looked towards Nines with it, but the android redirected it: ‘I believe Connor can say more to that. I’ve been activated after the revolution as a deviant from the start. I can only say that my human co-workers have been generally accepting and nice. We do face problems sometimes when we have cases involving deviants that suffer from trauma caused by previous actions. Though we hope to become better and change that.’ The reporter nodded and turned towards Connor. ‘Then let’s ask you then! How did your life pre-deviation influence you? Were you treated differently afterwards?’

Gavin listened to Connor being polite and diplomatic only with half an ear, instead focussing on how they all avoided calling names. No one said something about being a machine or robot. Well, he guessed it was better that way, although he still didn’t believe in seeing them as all human. He knew Nines very intimately by now and he had noticed himself how forgetting they were steel and plastic had caused unnecessary harm. But he came to the wise conclusion it was probably best not to say that on public television. Next the reporter asked Hank and him how it was working during the revolution and both answered mostly by telling the truth: That they had investigated the cases like any other, but were very glad not to be involved in trying to suppress the revolution. It would have felt wrong. That likely was the only topic he and Hank would ever agree on.

‘Without doubt there are a lot of challenges deviants as well as humans out there face figuring out this still new situation. Have you faced any yourselves?’ Connor was eager to answer, clearly the more enthusiastic to help androids make use of their rights, being part of the revolution himself: ‘There have been some challenges in the beginning, but after a few months, things started to change really quickly.’ The reporter seemed just as eager to jump on it. This clearly had been what he had wanted to talk about all along. ‘Oh, would you mind elaborate on that a bit? I believe quite a few androids face some kind of problems these days. I think it is time to face them together!’ Gavin had relaxed quite a bit from the initial nervousness. It seemed Connor and Hank were comfortable leading this whole thing, while him and Nines stayed in the backseat and answer with additions and different perspectives. At least until Hank spoke up, joking: ‘I believe, Gavin here could tell you a lot about that.’

Oh no, please, did the old phck really have to deal that blow? The reporter seemed just as confused, having read the natural feeling of their personalities. Connor was quick for an attempt at damage control: ‘Hank, I don’t think-‘ But the reporter had caught himself and apparently taken it for a genuine cue. ‘Oh, that would be lovely, Detective Reed.’ Gavin sighed, remembering they were on TV. He thought how to put this best without looking like the man Hank wanted him to frame as. ‘Well… you see… Me and Connor didn’t get along at first. When he was still a ma- Before he deviated, I saw him as one of these “robot-overlords” that were sent to replace us.’ He did think to quickly add air quotes to that. ‘I did things that… weren’t exactly nice, but I have since-‘ ‘You tried to kill him. Multiple times’, Hank interrupted.

Gavin gaped at him. So that’s what they were playing? He knew Hank didn’t like him and that he wanted to drive a wedge between him and Nines, who he saw as almost a son. Damn overprotective bastard, it wasn’t as if he had changed since then and- ‘You did?’, the reporter asked too shocked to remember doing his job. Gavin’s brain worked overtime trying to find a way out of this one, but when he had opened his mouth, Hank had already began. ‘Before the revolution he viewed them as simple machines that weren’t alive. As if deviancy was nothing but a bug. Roughing up an android suspect wasn’t out of the question.’ Nines sat up straighter, before Gavin could do something dumb on life TV. ‘May I add that Detective Reed never did and never would do such a thing and that the statement was meant as a joke at that time?’ Apparently the reporter realised his interview had been derailed and wanted to regain power over it, but Hank had other ideas: ‘Yeah, but he threatened him with a gun – I think twice - hit him and called him names.’ ‘Is this true?’

Gavin had managed to stay calm until now. But this was enough. What did the idiot think he was doing? So he did what he could do best: explode. ‘Yes. Yes, it is true. I was an asshole, am still, but me and Connor came to terms. We talked about it. I regret it. I have even fallen in love with one of these plastic pricks! And I talked about my ways with Nines and we are still together. Maybe you don’t understand it Hank, but it is like it is! So phck you and your stupid schemes! This interview is over!’

With that he marched out of the room and called himself a taxi home.

~

Of course, the live broadcast had been a disaster that had become famous for all the wrong reasons. At least the protesters outside had subsided a week later and Fowler had had his back by letting him off the hook with a disciplinary and Hank on patrol duty for his shitty behaviour. Didn’t mean life was back to normal. His favourite bar had thrown him out, as the android bartender had politely explained they didn’t serve robophobic fuckers like him there. Not that anyone in Detroit thought of him highly. Cases had become difficult as witnesses refused to speak with him or even became violent upon seeing him. It was surprising Nines still had his back. The tall android had stepped in front of him every single time, catching fists directed his way and explaining in his most intimidating voice that personal opinions would not advance the investigation. By now Gavin was happy to get the gruesome cases. The cases that involved dead bodies en masse without any ties to the living world.

But hell, this was not what he had wanted. Not at all. He was a detective, goddamnit! And he had changed, he had put real effort in too! And now all of that had been torn down by Hank phcking Anderson. Phcking hell… He stared at the screen without any ambition, tracing the specks of blood, overlying Nines’ analysis and the forensics’ data. It was likely a suicide after an overdose that had destroyed the woman’s ability to think clearly, but Gavin would be damned if he wouldn’t be thorough. Only that by now he was craving a cigarette. He had to relax, get his mind off of this whole shit-show. Maybe he needed a vacation. Maybe he should ask for a transfer. But for now, a cigarette would do.

So, he decided to call it quits for today. He would take some of his overtime for this. He grabbed his jacket and waved his hand half-heartedly at Nines. ‘See ya tomorrow, tin-can.’ Then he headed outside, a stick already on his lips fumbling to get the lighter on in the strong autumn wind. It had gotten cold far too early in the year. He finally ignited the cigarette and put his hands in his pockets, walking down the street. He had sat in a chair far too long already and decided to get home by foot for once. At least until he decided otherwise.  He took a few shortcuts through back alleys, trying to escape the sharp winds of the main streets, puffing out clouds of smoke and breath. He wasn’t really thinking about anything, letting his feet carry him on. Maybe that was how he couldn’t see the fist coming for his face and then his stomach.

He doubled over and saw the cigarette falling to the ground weirdly clear. All air seemed to have left his lungs as he knelt on the cold floor holding his middle. ‘This is the man, right?’ ‘Yeah. What a piece of shit!’ ‘Oh, this will be fun.’ Gavin groaned. How could he ever have thought androids and humans were different? Everyone was just full of the same bullshit. ‘Get up!’ Someone grabbed him by the back of his jacket and hoisted him up to his feet. Gavin stood face to face with an android, two more behind him. A woman and one that apparently chosen not to present their skin. Not that Gavin cared, the three were here to beat him up, that was all he needed to know. Phck, Fowler would hate the hospital costs. This still counted as an accident on the journey from work, right? God, he hoped it was. He didn’t have a beautiful face to begin with, but he really didn’t want another go at how phcked up do you want to look versus how much are you willing to pay.

At least these ridiculous thoughts left him as the android that had picked him up pushed him against a wall and pinned him while the skinless one threw the next punch to his jawline. Gavin felt tears prickling at the corner of his eyes and blinked them free, just to get the next strike to his sternum again and when he gasped for air, someone kicked his legs from underneath him. Unable to react fast enough, Gavin flopped to the ground, remembering his lessons to roll in his head to his chest and keep it there. The least thing he wanted was to get hit in the head and fall unconscious while the androids had their fun. There were better ways to die.

He rolled to his side as a boot connected with his shoulder and burrowed his head in his arms for protection. Maybe if he could get a good kick at one of them, he could roll over and escape. Maybe he could make it to the main street where people could help him. Not that he expected them to, but he couldn’t fight three androids on his own. But unfortunately, his foot didn’t hit a leg but a hand, as the woman grabbed and lifted his leg, turned him around and kicked where it hurt most. Gavin couldn’t suppress a whine as the pain paralyzed him. He once again rolled up into a ball and tried to protect his vulnerable areas. Maybe he should have fallen unconscious, he thought as boots and punches made his whole body light up in pain. Somewhere along the way one of his teeth got knocked loose and he tasted blood in his mouth. As he opened his eyes the next time the world was a blurry mess. Maybe they would stop soon. Maybe someone had called the police. But no, the only thing he saw was a fourth silhouette joining the three. Well, that was just his luck, wasn’t it? Who cared how much you changed? All that mattered was how the world saw you and in his case the world had made up its mind a long time ago. He pressed his eyes closed and braced for more.

But nothing came. Until there were hands on him. ‘No’, he begged. ‘Please, don’t.’ But the hands continued mapping his body and Gavin noticed they were gentle. They didn’t hurt, didn’t press down on them but simply examined him. He dared to relax a little and uncurl, but the tiny movement made everything ache. Apparently, Gavin had groaned, because the stranger spoke up: ‘Shh, it’s fine, Gavin. I’m here. You are safe.’ ‘Tin-can?’, Gavin slurred and made the effort to look up. It really was Nines and he threw him a soft smile. ‘Yes. You left early and you forgot your keys. Wanted to bring them to you, but you already left by foot, so I followed. I’m sorry I wasn’t here faster.’ ‘You are here now’, Gavin sighed and God, was he tired. ‘Hey, stay with me now. You don’t get to seep just yet, wait until you’re home and showered.’ Nines turned him around gently and finally nodded. ‘Aright. You are beaten up pretty badly, but it’s nothing serious. Minor wounds, but a lot of them. I’ll get you home, don’t worry. I’ll take care of you. You will feel better in no time.’

Gavin smiled and lifted his hand to lay on his cheek and Nines took it to hold there. ‘Why do you still stick around?’, the human asked. ‘After what happened I’m basically target practise. You’d have it easier without me.’ ‘I don’t want that’, Nines said, wrapping Gavin in his jacket. ‘Come on, if the whole world says I’m an asshole there has to be some truth to it.’ ‘I don’t care what the world has to say about you’, Nines said and snaked an arm under his back. ‘I love you’, he said with vehemence. ‘I know you. The real you. And that’s everything that matters to me.’

With that, Nines picked him up and pulled him to his chest, carrying the beaten human towards the street, where a cab was already waiting. ‘I’d say it’s you and me against the world’, he whispered as he sat him down on the backseat. But Gavin had already fallen asleep.

[>next part]

[sepublic]

Sorry about the double ask so here's a fun idea, Emperor Belos wrote The Good Witch Azura books. Like he wrote them in his younger years before becoming a parasitic tyrant. - Pixel Anon

           That seems like it’d be the perfect opportunity to segue into a lesson about Death of the Author, which- Given Sense and Insensitivity, and how this show already discusses how fiction affects reality and connects with it… Would be VERY refreshing to see, especially as a moral that I don’t really see other kids’ shows exploring! I do recall OK KO bringing it up with the Hero Cards not representing Kappas, but the more the merrier. It’d also be fitting to discuss Death of the Author, and separating a work from a terrible creator- Given the show’s frequent references to Harry Potter, which has a rather infamous author…

           For neurodivergent kids who really get into hyperfixations and fandoms, which Luz and Amity basically are- It’d be fascinating to see them navigate this kind of twisted revelation! And it’d also force them to really re-examine The Good Witch Azura, because sometimes a work can’tbe separated from the harmful ideas of its creator, especially if it was made to transmit them… If Azura ever talks about dealing with ‘savages’, that’d be VERY sus and make matters a lot more complex. But then again, Azura also reconciles with Hecate, so it could be a matter of recognizing a work’s more problematic areas and criticizing them, while still enjoying it.

          And, this makes sense, as The Owl House really does convey that experience of engaging with media and fiction, and how it relates to real life… And how media and fiction CAN mean a lot to people, it’s perfectly valid for one’s hyperfixations to mean the world to them! It’s treated as objectively terrible for Luz to throw away her Azura book, and bar a few social misunderstandings, the Azura books have otherwise brought nothing but happiness for her and Amity, and even functioned as something for them to bond over!

          It’s perfectly okay for fiction to mean a lot to Luz, and she’s not being childish for wanting to hold on, to keep enjoying it- So it’d be an interesting discussion when Belos’ authorship is thrown into the mix, amidst potential problematic bits here or there. Then again, Luz is an ND-coded kid who continues to find solace in these stories, which would suggest that there isn’t anything there that would bother her- At least, nothing she’d have really noticed until someone pointed it out to her.

           Then there’s the appropriateness, of Belos’ own fantasy being what could’ve led to Luz being deluded in her own right, projecting fantasies and dreams onto reality, wanting to be a chosen one… It’d be an extension of the kind of harmful delusions and ideas he puts into others, tying it back all the way of Luz herself, prior to arriving on the Boiling Isles! It’d give us insight to Belos as someone who really gets people to believe in the idea of being special, of being chosen, specifically for the Emperor’s Coven… And how this could relate to HIS character, if he himself is also a victim of these kinds of issues. If Belos is Luz, in that she never learned to differentiate fantasy from reality, and felt entitled towards bringing her stories to life.

          Perhaps Belos isn’t REALLY chosen by the Titan, he just likes to think of himself as a Chosen One- Or he was, but others can also quality for this honor, which is something that aggravates Belos because it alludes to him not being more special than others. Because to Belos, it’s not enough to be unique and valid in your own way; You must be actively better than others, and the creation of the Emperor’s Coven above all reflects this. The belief that magic is a privilege, a luxury, something you must actively earn or be more worthy of than others for…

           It’s also an interesting contrast, as if Belos has also been influenced by his works, or his works are a reflection of that- Then it’d set him apart from Luz as someone who actively deludes himself. As someone who is voluntarily blind, and willfully ignorant- Just like Lilith, who was inspired by Belos and looked to him as a role model when she was younger. Even before becoming a parasitic tyrant, Belos was a dark reflection of Luz, subjecting others to fantasies and delusions… Maybe not initially maliciously nor willingly, maybe it was just him having fun like any author. But then this innocuous action became very dark in retrospect, as Belos and his ‘hobbies’ worsened and took on a more harmful role for the people of the Boiling Isles.

          I suppose it’s worth noting that Belos’ imagery invokes a lot of white, which is also seen with Azura’s predominantly white-and-purple robes… While Belos is white-and-gold. If Belos is a dark deconstruction of Luz’s assumption of a Chosen One narrative and fantasies, then maybe he’s also a deconstruction of Azura herself; And this of course suggests that he actively emulated his own creation. He’s artistic and a writer like Luz is, but it seems Belos got TOO convinced by how good he was, and couldn’t take constructive criticism- Which could be like King as an author in Sense and Insensitivity, up until he realizes that Luz’s input helped make him so great!

           Luz and Amity can still engage in fantasy and fiction, the show always lets them find joy in this… It’s just a matter of finding the distinction between the two and recognizing it. Fully indulging into fantasy is what could’ve led Luz to accepting Adegast’s illusions… But entirely rejecting is is the path that is the Reality Camp, which would’ve sucked the fun and joy out of Luz and turned her into a hollow, soulless imitation of herself. It’s okay to find comfort and media and even be inspired by it, to even take lessons from it; And while you should always prioritize listening to real life when it says otherwise, I think it’s worth observing that Luz’s quest to be a good person like Azura… Well, influences her to be kind!

          And it’s this desire to emulate Azura that influences Luz to learn magic, which creates yet another hyperfixation that brings the girl joy, and leads to her connecting with Eda and everyone else in the Boiling Isles in the first place by staying there! Perhaps Belos will contrast with Luz in that while he recognized media’s ability to make him feel happier, he ultimately used it as a crutch, a substitute for actual meaningful interaction and connection with other people- Thus creating the monster we see today. There could be the idea of finding role models, people you want to emulate- But also recognizing their flaws, where to criticize them, and not be like them. That could tie into how Eda is a teacher to Luz, but isn’t always right and excels by taking Luz’s feedback into consideration, instead of assuming she always knows better and will never be wrong.

           All in all, this is a fascinating idea Pixel Anon! Even if Belos has no literal connection to the Azura books, I am a big fan of the idea of him being a dark reflection to Luz… A Luz as we see her start out in the series, only to be a Luz who never learns the lessons we see her go through. Belos wanted to be a hero, a main character; But he never went through the actual arc and character development of one, and instead ended up as the static villain, the main antagonist who causes problems for actualheroes. If some characters become what they despise most by trying to avoid that, then perhaps Belos is someone who avoids becoming what he wanted to be, in his attempts to be like that.

          Whether or not media has played a role in Belos’ life has yet to be seen, but there is the idea of him having lived out a traditional ‘fantasy’ without realizing it as such, because to him this IS his reality- So it’s ironic then that Belos deludes himself while Luz doesn’t. Maybe it’s because of this, because Luz has that self-awareness to consider the divide between her fantasies and what reality actually is; Because she has an actual frame of reference for what fantasy and fiction is. Suddenly I’m reminded of that joke in Lost in Language, when Gary sees “Fiction-Fiction” because the Non part, the reminder of reality, was erased; And he has an existential crisis, wondering if any of his life was real…

          Imagine this being foreshadowing to BELOS, of all people, having an epiphany- Realizing that so much of his ‘reality’ was just his own fiction, that he questions what things were real and what things never were. Belos realizing he forgot to consider reality, and now he’s questioning everything he knows, if his arcane knowledge is all for naught if he can’t even distinguish facts from fantasy… etc. What is real and objective- What if all of his ‘Non-Fiction’ was simply just Fiction, and Luz the troublemaker must reveal this to Belos? I’m just imagining Luz very awkwardly cringing and navigating around Belos’ breakdown, but also sort of relating to his dilemma and helping him recover; At least for the sake of everyone else, because a reformed Belos makes life easier than a dead one.

          Plus, Luz is very compassionate in that sort of way… And while Belos’ radiance has blinded him for so long; Now, it’s Luz’s less harsh Light, which helps open his eyes and allow Belos to properly see the world around him. Eyes DO seem to be a major motif in the Boiling Isles, and with Belos, whose eyes need to be fixed by some palisman bile… If Belos’ light has blinded all, himself the first victim; Then Luz’s more Night-time, Star-oriented Light can bring a sunset to Belos’ shining era, for now the sun sets on his empire after all these years. And with the lights dimmed, Belos can appreciate the darkness around him as a contrast, and truly recognize things for what they are… And Luz can metaphorically open his eyes and mind.

          If Luz illuminates others to the truth of their situation and what they’re doing- Then maybe her final obstacle can be Belos… Alongside her mother Camila, when Luz reunites with her and reveals just how much happier she’s been in the Boiling Isles, instead of the Reality Camp that was actually going to hurt her. THAT would be an unusual parallel, Belos and Camila, as two significant adults in Luz’s life… Potentially ones who taught Luz everything she knew prior to Eda, with Camila providing social interactions to the girl, while Belos provides lessons through his Azura fiction and media. If Azura and Camila were all Luz knew and learned from, it’d be interesting for her to teach THEM something herself- Again, a continuation of that theme of the teacher having a lot to learn from the student, and not being so infallible and all-knowing themselves. Even a teacher like Eda can still enjoy the wide-eyed opportunity and curiosity to learn as a student, once more…

[godboundrpgfans]

Guts in Godbound

  Guts, the Black Swordsman.

  One of the most badass characters in fiction.

  Not just for his sheer, unadulterated power and being everything a 90s Anti-Hero is expected to be, but also for being everything that a 90s Anti-Hero isn’t expected to be.

  Guts is a much more complex character than first glances would have you believe, and I don’t think I could do his character justice by talking about it here.

  Thankfully, that’s not why I’m here.

  I’m here because I was bored and got the bright idea to use the Godbound Character Creation System to create Guts.

  Why? Cause why the fuck not?

  Now before we start, I’m going to be doing two version of this character creation.

  The first will follow the standard character creation for a Godbound. You roll up/pick attributes, pick three Words, etc. For this, I will be creating Guts when he was still in the Band of the Hawk, right before he left. Since you could kind of consider that his “peak” before the Eclipse.

  The second version will be the same, except I won’t be using the 6 Point limit that the game gives you at the start. Instead, I will just give Guts any and all Gifts/Artifacts and otherwise that I believe he should have at this point in the Berserk Manga.

  With that out of the way, let’s begin!

  Standard Creation:

  Attribute Scores:

  8, 16, 13, 10, 12, 18

  I’ll wait until after I choose Words since those will have an affect on the Scores.

  Facts:

  Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

  Since this is Guts before the Eclipse, I feel these would be the best Facts to use as his Origin, Past Profession, and Relationship.

  Armor: Medium (AC 5; -4 Save Penalty)

Weapon: Greatsword (1d10; Heavy)

Goals: Find his own Dream so he can stand next to Griffith.

  I’ll put the penalty towards Evasion (Guts was never known to be very dodgy).

  Divine Powers/Words:

  Sword (He’s been using a Greatsword since he was about 5 years old. It’d make sense he’s really fucking good with them)

  Endurance (Guts is fucking durable. Seriously, even before he became the Black Swordsman he was surviving shit that would kill normal people. See his fight with Zodd or Wyald for examples)

  Luck (I was going to put Might here, but as strong as Guts is, during his time as Raider Captain in the Band of the Hawk, he didn’t do anything that really showed off physical strength. Most of the crazy shit he did (such as break through a cast iron door) was with his Sword. So, instead I’m choosing Luck as, let’s face it, Guts has been exceedingly lucky during most of his fights. While it hasn’t exactly made his life sunshine and rainbows, it’s allowed him to survive fight after fight when paired with his unending willpower)

  Now to set up the Attribute Scores:

  Str: 18 (+3): Check: 3

Dex: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Con: 18 (+3): Check 3

Int: 8 (-1): Check: 13

Wis: 12 (+0): Check: 9

Char: 10 (+0): Check: 11

  And here’s our final scores. I set Strength and Constitution the highest for obvious reason (go watch any montage of Guts and you’ll understand). Dexterity is the way it is cause, while Guts is fast, he’s not exactly someone I could see dodging all over the place like a ninja. He’s a much bigger and easier to hit target than someone like, say, Griffith. Wisdom and Charisma are the way they are cause Guts is perceptive, just not too perceptive. On top of that, while he himself is very gruff and not much of a smooth talker, he does seem to attract the opposite sex to him a lot….even the same sex to an extent. And Intelligence is the lowest stat cause….well obvious reasons. Guts is not book smart in the slightest. He knows a lot about surviving on his own or in the wilderness, but he won’t be solving any advanced math problems.

Gifts:

Defy the Iron (While not necessarily negating the damage, Guts is able to ignore most attacks and keep moving even when they should be fatal)

Nine Lives (The dude seems to always luck out on events that would kill him. Look at his fight against Gambino or Bazuso)

Unerring Blade (Do I even need to explain why he gets this one?)

Cutting the Crimson Road (I was actually having trouble deciding between this or Shattering Hand. In the end I chose this one, since one of his most defining moments is when he fought 100 soldiers and won).

Body of Iron Will (Just to give him an AC of 3 and represent how his body is tough as shit).

  With that, here’s what the final Character Sheet Looks like for Guts:

  Name: Guts

  Facts:

Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

  Attributes:

  Str: 18 (+3): Check: 3

Dex: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Con: 18 (+3): Check 3

Int: 8 (-1): Check: 13

Wis: 12 (+0): Check: 9

Char: 10 (+0): Check: 11

  Words:

Sword

Endurance

Luck

  Gifts:

Defy the Iron

Nine Lives

Unerring Blade

Cutting the Crimson Road

Body of Iron Will

  Weapons: Greatsword (1d10; Heavy; Atk Bonus: +1; Attribute Bonus: Str)

  Armor: Medium (AC 5; -4 Penalty to a Save)

  AC: 3

  HP: 11

  Saves:

Hardiness (Con): 12

Evasion (Dex): 18 (Base 14)

Spirit: (Wis): 15

  And here we are, Guts before he became the Black Swordsman as a Godbound. Now then, on to what I would give him if I had full freedom and didn’t have to worry about point limits.

  Free Version:

  I’m keeping the same Attribute Scores, but the Facts will be different:

  Facts:

  Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

Is marked by the Brand of Sacrifice

Has given up his Revenge against Griffith to protect/help Casca, the woman he loves

Has killed over 1,000 Demons

Wields the Dragonslayer

Wears the Berserker Armor

Is haunted by his Beast of Darkness

His companions keep him grounded

He lost his arm and eye, now he has a mechanical arm.

  These are all of the obvious Facts that would be included after the current part of the manga.

  Following that, I would add in these Words:

  Might (By this point, and with the help of his mechanical arm, he has shown that his physical strength is just as strong as an Apostle’s)

  Peak Human (Guts has gone well beyond the realm of a normal mortal by this point. He has proven that, despite not having any real, inherent magical powers, he is able to go toe-to-toe with Apostles, Sea Gods, Demons, Constructs, and just about any supernatural creature that steps in his path. By now, I’d say he’s right on the cusp of being Superhuman)

  Vengeance (Though he has given up on getting revenge against Griffith, it is still a defining characteristic for him, and something he draws strength from)

  Gifts:

  Fear No Steel (At this point, normal weapons are like tickles to Guts.)

Fist of Black Iron (He literally has a fist of black iron)

Loosening God’s Teeth (He can cut an Apostle in half with one swing of his sword)

Contempt of Distance (Guts seems to be able to move to wherever the hell he wants when he needs to kill something)

Thirsting Razor (There are normally too many enemies in front of Guts for him to even worry about hitting Mobs)

All Natural (Guts’ abilities don’t really appear very magical, and that’s because most of them aren’t. Alot of them are from either pure sweat and hard work, determination, or his own equipment)

Mortal’s Luck (The dude never stays down)

Trained Aim (He always seems to hit whatever he aims at…it’s just that most things he aims at has enough armor or scaled hide to resist it)

Human Grit (And how. The dude is able to heal from fatal wounds faster than any other human in his world)

Indomitable Will (Do I really have to explain this one?)

Street Sweeper (Have you seen the size of his sword?)

Bloody Vengeance (Guts loves to use all or nothing attacks that immensely damage both him and his enemy)

Shattering Hand (Dragonslayer. That is all)

  Artifacts:

  Dragonslayer:

  A great sword that is like a hunk of raw iron. This blade has bathed in the blood of so many demons that it now rest on both the Mortal and Astral planes, turning it into a magical weapon that can harm both spiritual and physical creatures. Due to its massive size, it can also be used to block projectiles and smash through any type of armor.

Effort: 5

Hunk of Raw Iron (Greater Gift): As an Action, the wielder may Commit Effort from the artifact to launch an attack at every enemy within sight, doing a maximum of 1 damage even on a miss. Mobs are automatically hit for 1d10+15 rolled straight.

Too Thick, Too Rough (Lesser Gift): As an Action, Commit Effort from the artifact to immediately break any armor, weapon, or piece of equipment in range of the sword. Any magical substance is not destroyed, but damaged to the point where it is almost useless.

The Berserker Armor:

  An ancient, magical armor from the time of the first Emperor, the Berserker Armor is a black and spiked. It completely encases the wearer when it is equipped. It is considered heavy armor and can defend against most attacks, including magical ones. However, the armor’s true ability comes from its power to lock off the wielder’s nervous system, pushing their body to heights that a normal human could never reach. There is a downside to this, as the armor will remove the wielder’s sense of self and cause them to view everything as an enemy. On top of this, the armor does not heal the wearer, instead holding their body together and preventing them from dying to any injury. Once all living creatures have been defeated, all of the wearer’s damage will return full force and can kill them instantly if it is more than their HP can handle.

Effort 10

Unstoppable Rampage (Greater Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to immediately gain three bonus Attacks that can be used on this round only.

Jump Good (Lesser Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to instantly leap to any spot within double your movement speed. This does not count as an Action.

Beast of Darkness (Greater Gift): This Gift can activate whenever you kill an enemy as long as you wear the armor. At the end of a round, if you’ve killed an enemy, roll a Spirit Save. If you fail, this Gift activates. Commit Effort from the Artifact to remove all limits on your body and lose yourself to your inner beast. You lose the ability to make rational decision on the battlefield, and see even your friends as enemies. In return, all of your attacks now deal 1d12+10 Straight Damage, you gain two bonus Actions, you become immune to all mental, emotional, or psychological damage, your attacks shatter any substance even if it is magical in nature, and your attack bonus is now +10. Whenever you take damage, record it somewhere else. Once the battle is over, you must make a Spirit Save to regain control of yourself. If you fail, you must keep fighting everything around you, even if they are your allies, making a Spirit Save each round to regain yourself. If you pass, make a Hardiness Save. If you pass that Save, you only take half of the damage you took during battle rounded up. If you fail, you take the full damage straight.

So now, our final Guts sheet, looks like this:

  Name: Guts

  Facts:

Grew up in a Mercenary Band

The Raiding Captain for the Band of the Hawks

Has formed a deep friendship with all of the major members

Is marked by the Brand of Sacrifice

Has given up his Revenge for Casca the woman he loves

Has killed over 1,000 Demons

Wields the Dragonslayer

Wears the Berserker Armor

Is haunted by his Beast of Darkness

His companions keep him grounded

He lost his arm and eye, now he has a mechanical arm.

  Attributes:

  Str: 19 (+4): Check: 2

Dex: 18 (+3): Check: 3

Con: 18 (+3): Check 3

Int: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Wis: 13 (+1): Check: 8

Char: 13 (+1): Check: 8

  Words:

Sword

Endurance

Luck

Peak Human

Might

Vengeance

  Gifts:

Defy the Iron

Nine Lives

Unerring Blade

Cutting the Crimson Road

Body of Iron Will

Fear No Steel

Fist of Black Iron

Loosening God’s Teeth

Contempt of Distance

Thirsting Razor

All Natural

Mortal’s Luck

Trained Aim

Human Grit

Indomitable Will

Street Sweeper

Bloody Vengeance

Shattering Hand

  Weapons: Dragonslayer (1d10; Heavy; Atk Bonus: +1; Attribute Bonus: Str)

  Armor: Berserker Armor (AC 3; -4 Penalty to 2 Saves)

  AC: 3

  HP: 11

  Saves:

Hardiness (Con): 15 (Base 11)

Evasion (Dex): 16 (Base 12)

Spirit: (Wis): 14

  Artifacts:

  Dragonslayer:

  A great sword that is like a hunk of raw iron. This blade has bathed in the blood of so many demons that it now rest on both the Mortal and Astral planes, turning it into a magical weapon that can harm both spiritual and physical creatures. Due to its massive size, it can also be used to block projectiles and smash through any type of armor.

Effort: 5

Hunk of Raw Iron (Greater Gift): As an Action, the wielder may Commit Effort from the artifact to launch an attack at every enemy within sight, doing a maximum of 1 damage even on a miss. Mobs are automatically hit for 1d10+15 rolled straight.

Too Thick, Too Rough (Lesser Gift): As an Action, Commit Effort from the artifact to immediately break any armor, weapon, or piece of equipment in range of the sword. Any magical substance is not destroyed, but damaged to the point where it is almost useless.

The Berserker Armor:

  An ancient, magical armor from the time of the first Emperor, the Berserker Armor is a black, spiked armor that completely encases the wearer. It is considered heavy armor and can defend against most attacks, including magical ones. However, the armor’s true ability comes from its power to lock off the wielder’s nervous system, pushing their body to heights that a normal human could never reach. There is a downside to this, as the armor will remove the wielder’s sense of self and cause them to view everything as an enemy. On top of this, the armor does not heal the wearer, instead holding their body together and preventing them from dying to any injury. Once all living creatures have been defeated, all of the wearer’s damage will return full force and can kill them instantly if it is more than their HP can handle.

Effort 10

Unstoppable Rampage (Greater Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to immediately gain three bonus Attacks that can be used on this round only.

Jump Good (Lesser Gift): Commit Effort from the Artifact to instantly leap to any spot within double your movement speed. This does not count as an Action.

Beast of Darkness (Greater Gift): This Gift can activate whenever you kill an enemy as long as you wear the armor. At the end of a round, if you’ve killed an enemy, roll a Spirit Save. If you fail, this Gift activates. Commit Effort from the Artifact to remove all limits on your body and lose yourself to your inner beast. You lose the ability to make rational decision on the battlefield, and see even your friends as enemies. In return, all of your attacks now deal 1d12+10 Straight Damage, you gain two bonus Actions, you become immune to all mental, emotional, or psychological damage, your attacks shatter any substance even if it is magical in nature, and your attack bonus is now +10. Whenever you take damage, record it somewhere else. Once the battle is over, you must make a Spirit Save to regain control of yourself. If you fail, you must keep fighting everything around you, even if they are your allies, making a Spirit Save each round to regain yourself. If you pass, make a Hardiness Save. If you pass that Save, you only take half of the damage you took during battle rounded up. If you fail, you take the full damage straight.

  And there we go. I would’ve added another Gift to the Dragonslayer, but I couldn’t think of what to put there.

  So, there you go. How I would stat Guts as a Godbound.

  Feedback would be appreciated, and if you think there are things I could’ve added or done better, please let me know.

[marshmallowprotection]

WARNING! VERY LONG! AND ALSO TALKS ABOUT ABUSE AND MANIPULATION AND ALSO MENTIONS OF ALCOHOL.

Please don't read if that triggers you!

ALSO MAJOR AND I MEAN MAJOR SPOILERS FOR DRAKENGARD 3 AND POSSIBLY EVILLIOUS CHRONICLES TOO. — Submission

It has been like a millennium since I have sent you any sort of things about a character (or in this case, characterS) but as I recently revised the story of this very fucked up pair of twins, I decided to show them to you. They are specifically characters in an RP of mine with my friend Jade which is a crossover between Evillious Chronicles and Drakengard 3.

Here's a bit of context:

The Intoners are beings that can use the power of song, but their true purpose is to destroy the world. The original Intoner was Zero, who became an Intoner after the Flower, some sort of being that the Gods created to destroy the world, took root inside of her corpse and effectively 'revived' her as an Intoner; also, Zero wasn't always called Zero, previously she was named Rose (which wasn't her birth name, as she has no birth name), but she changed her name to Zero after she became an Intoner (it's unknown why). After Zero tried to kill herself when she realized that she'd eventually be forced to destroy the world by the Flower, the Flower, sensing her hostility towards it, birthed five beings from her as sort of 'backups' in a sense to ensure it would succeed in destroying the world: One, Two, Three, Four, and Five. These beings are all in some way like Zero, as they were created from fragments of her memories, personality, and resemble people from Zero's past; e.g. One resembles a rebel girl who Zero was tied up next to as she was left to die in town's square of some village as punishment for her crimes of murdering hundreds of people; Five resembles a nun who Zero had killed at some point before she became an Intoner; etc. The Flower did this on purpose to make Zero hesitate in killing them, which...on paper it would seem to be a good idea, but Zero's not the type to hesitate in killing anybody, unless it's someone she cares about (which, the only people she cares about are not even really 'people', their dragons), and she don't give two fucks about the other Intoners at all, so, yeah.

'HERS' is a acronym for 'Hereditary Evil Raiser Syndrome' and its a fictional disease in Evillious that when your infected you become compelled into doing violence, as the goal of anybody whose ends up with HERS is to destroy the world and everybody in it; well that's an oversimplified explanation of it.

The Climb One is a ship that the last Earthlings from the Second Period used to escape their dying planet.

The First Period was the very first world in Evillious, which heavily resembled our world; the Second Period was a virtual reality created by the people of the First Period which also heavily resembled our world. At some point the First Period died (it's implied that a nuclear war happened there which is why everybody there died) and thanks to Behemo the Earthlings on the Climb One were taken into reality and they found the ruined First Period planet and on its ruins was built the Third Period (which was a world of its own). Oh and the humans from the Second Period are referred to as Earthlings in order to differentiate them from First Period/Third Period humans as they were originally not even 'real'.

Sickle is a robot built by an Earthling named Luna Hazuki and eventually he becomes a god and takes the form of a bat who observes the people of the Third Period.

Medora is another OC of mine from my RP with Jade. Her story is a story for another time ^^'

Aurende is an original kingdom of mine, not a country that's canonly in EC.

Why are Lumina and Eliora Romanian? I dunno I found out Lumina means sunshine in Romanian and just went with it; it's an insignificant detail anyways that's not exactly very relevant to Lumina and Eliora's stories but is just there.

Alright the context dumping is done with ^^''''' go onto the Evillious Chronicles and Drakengard wikis, they can give you a lot more less simplified context for this stuff but I think I told you the bare minimum you need to understand whats going on? I hope I gave you enough context to understand ^^'

But anyways on with th character info and Lumina and Eliora's story!

Name: Lumina

Aliases: True God Twins (With Eliora)

Lumi (By Eliora)

Lumina Ardelean (Full Name)

Hypocritical Strawberry (By Sickle, Mockingly)

Age: 1,045+ (On 499 E.C.)

Looks 18

Height: 163 cm/5’4’’

Weight: 49 kgs/110 lbs

Cup Size: C

Bust/Waist/Hip: 84/59/85

Sex: Female

Gender: Female

Classification: Human (Till 529 B.T.)

Earthling (Till 528 B.T.)

God

Race: Romanian

Hair Color: Strawberry Blonde

Eye Color: Gold

Born: 546 B.T.

Died: Varies

Status: Varies

Sexuality: Bisexual/Demiromantic

Relatives: Unnamed Mother (Deceased; Died In Childbirth)

Unnamed Father (Deceased; Died of Alcohol Overdose)

Eliora Ardelean (Younger Twin Sister)

Flower (Creation)

Zero (Flower’s Host)

One (Creation Via Flower)

Two (Creation Via Flower)

Three (Creation Via Flower)

Four (Creation Via Flower)

Five (Creation Via Flower)

Medora Aurende (Prototype Intoner)

Occupation: Creator of The Flower And Intoners

Affiliations: None

Favorite Food: Chocolate-Strawberry Sundae

Loves: Eliora, Revenge, Inducing Suffering In Others, Chocolate, Sundaes, Sweets, Strawberries

Hates: Alcohol, Her Father, People Who Hurt Others, People Calling Out Her Hypocrisy, Faeries, Her Father’s Girlfriend, Five

Weapons: Magic

Background + Personality: Lumina is a prideful but vengeful girl, whose been irreversibly scarred by the events of her and her twin sister’s childhood. Her mother died giving birth to her and her sister, which caused her father to blame her and her sister for their mother’s death, giving him an excuse to constantly beat her and starve her and her sister. Lumina did her best to protect Eliora from their father, taking most of their father’s beatings. Due to their father being an alcoholic and his alcoholism only causing her and Eliora to be abused even more horribly and brutally whenever he was drunk, Lumina developed a hatred of alcohol, especially beer and wine, which her father drank often. Her father eventually got a girlfriend, who also often abused the two girls, and ironically, this girlfriend heavily resembled Five, the youngest Intoner sister, which caused Lumina and Eliora to often be uncomfortable whenever she is in Five’s presence later on.

Lumina one day discovered her mother’s diary and found that her father had in fact heavily abused her mother when she was alive, like he did to Lumina and Eliora, and that her mother had been a way for him to take out all his anger and pain, and her mother believed that that was ok, because this way she had a meaning, this way her ‘worthless’ life had a meaning. Lumina realized her father was not upset about her and Eliora’s mother’s death because he was in love with her mother, he was upset because he had lost his main coping mechanism to deal with all of his problems, and so had replaced her mother with her and Eliora. Lumina became enraged by this revelation and confronted her father about it, but only found herself battered to near death.

The next day, her father died of an alcohol overdose, and she and Eliora ran away and ended up on the streets. From there they were constantly beaten yet again, except not by their father, but by people they had never even met before.

Lumina continued doing her best to protect her sister from the abuse and often took care of her, leading to the two sisters becoming starkly different in their world view;

Eliora’s world view will be stated in her info, but nonetheless here is Lumina’s world view:

Lumina, sick and tired of all of the pain she went through because of the world, developed a hatred of the world and a desire to destroy it all and start again, as well as to punish humanity for being ‘sinful’ creatures, believing that starting from zero again was the only way to end the cycle of abuse. Ironically, Lumina found herself also enjoying watching other people suffer, as she believed that other people deserved it for being ‘cruel, sinful humans’, which made her no better than her abusers and only showed she was a hypocrite in what she believed, as she began actively inflicting harm upon others just like how she had been hurt.

Eventually, Lumina and Eliora by unknown means managed to sneak into the Second Period, where Lumina ended up unknowingly being infected by HERS, which only served to make her desire to destroy the world stronger; Eliora, however, remained uninfected. Lumina and Eliora then snuck onto the Climb One, where they would then end up in the chaos somehow reincarnated into Gods and trapped inside the Climb One with Levia and Behemo, who questioned who they were until Behemo recognized them as the two homeless girls he saw often wandering the streets. Lumina and Eliora would manage to escape the Climb One within a few years thanks to their bodies being intact, and they soon found that they had become gods, which gave Lumina an idea; they enact a plan to destroy the world. Despite Eliora’s hesitance, Eliora went through with it and so the two sisters began their experimentations which would eventually lead to the creation of the Flower and the concept of Intoners.

One of their prototype Intoners was Medora Aurende, a princess of the Kingdom of Aurende, who was later deemed a failure due to not being strong enough to destroy the world, and so the twins disposed of her, leaving her for dead in a forest in the Beelzenian Empire.

Eventually, the Flower was finally complete along with the concept of Intoners, and the twins enacted their plan to destroy the world. They went to the city of Alicegrad in the country of Holy Levianta and infected a human who had been left for dead in the city square named ‘Rose’ with the Flower, and she was soon revived and turned into an Intoner. Rose changed her name to Zero soon after. Eliora began to become more and more hesitant and concerned with Lumina’s plan to destroy the world, but in response, Lumina slapped her and told her

“I’ve protected you for your entire life, you know. It’s time you repaid me a bit by helping me destroy the world that hurt me so much. And this will only serve to benefit you anyways; after all, this world hurt you so much too, despite my attempts at protecting you. Why wouldn’t you want to destroy it as well, Eli?”

Eliora afterward meekly nodded and never questioned Lumina again out of fear of what she’d do to her if she dared to question the plan again, even though Eliora could tell the Flower was slowly growing out of their control.

Lumina’s overall a very hateful, vengeful, hypocritical woman who at this point constantly contradicts herself, claiming that she wants to break the cycle of abuse whilst continuing to harm others. Yet deep in her heart, it seems she does genuinely still care for her sister, although it appears as time passes she slowly becomes more and more obsessed with hurting other people and punishing humanity for its sins as she gradually succumbs to her HERS instincts, and her care and empathy slowly wither away; even her love for her sister and feelings of kinship with Zero is slowly dissipating; until all that remains is her hatred of the world and humanity overall. Sickle mockingly calls her a ‘hypocritical strawberry’ due to her hypocrisy and strange obsession with strawberries.

Name: Eliora

Aliases: True God Twins (With Lumina)

Eli (By Lumina)

Eliora Ardelean (Full Name)

Pitiable Strawberry (By Sickle)

Age: 1,045+ (On 499 E.C.)

Looks 18

Height: 161 cm/5’3’’

Weight: 48 kgs/108 lbs

Cup Size: C

Bust/Waist/Hip: 83/58/84

Sex: Female

Gender: Female

Classification: Human (Till 529 B.T.)

Earthling (Till 528 B.T.)

God

Race: Romanian

Hair Color: Strawberry Blonde

Eye Color: Gold

Born: 546 B.T.

Died: Varies

Status: Varies

Sexuality: Bisexual/Demiromantic

Relatives: Unnamed Mother (Deceased; Died In Childbirth)

Unnamed Father (Deceased; Died of Alcohol Overdose)

Lumina Ardelean (Older Twin Sister)

Flower (Creation)

Zero (Flower’s Host)

One (Creation Via Flower)

Two (Creation Via Flower)

Three (Creation Via Flower)

Four (Creation Via Flower)

Five (Creation Via Flower)

Medora Aurende (Prototype Intoner)

Occupation: Creator of The Flower And Intoners

Affiliations: None

Favorite Food: Chocolate-Strawberry Sundae

Loves: Lumina (Or So She Claims), Dancing, Chocolate, Sundaes, Sweets, Baby Animals, Children, Dragons, Books, Reading, Singing, Zero, Strawberries

Hates: Seeing People Suffer, Her Father, Her Father’s Girlfriend, Five, The World (To A Much Lesser Degree Than Lumina), Alcohol

Weapons: Magic

Background + Personality: Most of Eliora and Lumina’s backstory was covered in Lumina’s info, so most of it will not be stated here except for any parts unique to Eliora.

Eliora is a meek, weak-willed girl who does as her sister tells her, secretly wishing to deviate from her sister’s will but being unable to as she is blinded by her ‘love’ for her sister and by what Lumina constantly tells her about their plan with the Flower and Intoners being “for the best”, that it’s “better for them to destroy the world here to stop humans from continuing to sin and hurt each other”, that “humanity is a sinful, malicious race that should be annihilated along with this cruel world they created”, even though Eliora knows deep inside that Lumina is merely manipulating her and forcing her to go along with what she wants.

Eliora’s world view is vastly different from her sister’s, as Eliora, who often could only watch as her sister was beaten and hurt constantly, found herself believing that revenge didn’t do much but perpetuate the cycle of abuse that she and Lumina suffered from, and so believed that the only way to end the cycle was to help abuse survivors not repeat the actions of their abusers. But Lumina heavily disagreed with her and forced Eliora, whether through physical harm or threats, to go along with Lumina’s plans and act the part of an ‘evil god who wants to destroy the world’.

Eliora also feels as if she’s indebted to Lumina for her protecting her from most of abuse of their childhood, and so feels obligated to help her even though she really believes that what Lumina’s doing is wrong.

Sickle pityingly calls Eliora a ‘pitiable strawberry’ due to her strange obsession with strawberries just like Lumina and because she’s a person who is very pitiable.

Whenever Eliora is able to, she often spends her time dancing, singing, or reading, loving all three activities immensely and secretly wishing she could have become a dancer or writer or singer or something of the sort rather than a mere instrument in her sister’s plans to destroy the world, and hopes that in some other life she could go follow her dreams rather than be forced to help her sister.

Also unlike her sister, Eliora is a very empathetic person, and despises killing and hurting others, although pretends as if she does enjoy such activities in order to please her sister.

So yeah, that's Lumina and Eliora's story. *me torturing my characters again and again goes brrrr-*

For reference here's their official designs (btw I probably should redo their arts considering their older as I made them back in April so yeah- oof) as well as sketch I made of them I may never finish but who knows:

Left girl is Lumina, right girl is Eliora ^

Oh, wow.

Okay. You’ve really edited and revised a lot of the story. The girls are looking really good, too. Angst can be a good device to help you channel your emotions in a healthy and constructive way. I think you’re building a really fun universe that just works for you and all of this design, planning and care takes a lot of time and effort. Never discount that work you put into it.

They are foils of each other.

They suffered but they handled it differently. That makes for an interesting arc for the both of them as they try to make sense of reality.

[game-fixer]

Game Fixes Episode 1: Mega Man X7

I'm gonna start my tenure with one of the most notorious games in all of Mega Man, not just the X series. I have several ideas that can make the game feel more in line with characters and feel less forced.

Of course this will come with general polish in many aspects including a redone script and voice work. No disrespect towards any actors/actresses in the games, of course, but the presentation needs some serious work. Anyway, let's start with the first change

Axl

No, I'm not gonna get rid of him. I think he's a welcome addition to the cast and, if worked right, could be made to be even more beloved in the game he debuted in, despite being the Silver the Hedgehog of the X series.

First idea would be an overhaul in his move set. I say ditch the lame Copy Shot thing for his charge. Also have him function more like Bass from Mega Man and Bass/Mega Man 10, where he stands in place and you aim manually from the start. In 3D, (because I'm not getting rid of 3D) this could even include a first person aim function so you can be more precise. Also a light will shine to show your path so you're not relying on blind fire. Now, I'm thinking he could still charge a shot. What would he shoot? Well you could target multiple enemies at a time, release, and shoot a spread shot of small homing missiles at enemies or even Mavericks which can take a lot of these shots, of course. This feels more like a proper special ability and something that requires a meter for. So what do we do with that Copy Ability that makes him special?

Bio Metal

Yep, the special little MacGuffins from the ZX series. The very same. I'm thinking Axl would be the first Reploid to be made with an early version of Bio Metal, allowing him to change forms at will. This would be his version of X's Weapon Systems. Axl would gain new armor and abilities from the Mavericks he fights to boost his arsenal. A regular shot and a special shot. For example, with Ride Boarski, you'd shoot his regular weapon, but his Special move could be a Tackling Dash that would plow through enemies until the Meter runs out. Flame Hyenard could give a flamethrower for the main shot and his special could give you a clone that shoots for a few seconds. Tornado Tonion could give his leaf shot as a main, and his special lets you throw a tornado and damage enemies in a wide pattern. That sort of thing. The Mavericks aren't the only ones you're getting Bio Metal data from, though. Before I talk about that, let's bring up the main boy himself.

X

I'm thinking X would still be unlockable just like normal, but you'd play as him through an intro stage to feel the power you need to have back. Is he moping about violence and sitting on the couch like a lump like before? Yes and no. X, after causing a serious accident and putting innocent lives in danger, requests to be taken out of active duty until he can sort himself out, but he doesn't want to stop helping. Seeing how lousy X treated our new friend in the real story gave me an idea. Make X train Axl as his superior officer! Axl could be a trainee Hunter, still dealing with his checkered past with Red Alert and realizing they were no better than murderers, thus joining the Maverick Hunters to pay his dues to himself and prove to himself he isn't evil. X, seeing some of his own plight in his Rookie apprentice, starts taking a liking to Axl's ideals, despite his hot-headed, quick-to-the-trigger tactics and lack of professionalism. They butt heads through the intercom, with X saying this needs to be done by the book, but Axl wanting to show how he can take on any challenge no sweat and all that. X would be the Navigator for Axl, though Alia would aid as well.

Unlocking X

While saving Reploids will still be a thing, X will be unlocked halfway through the game. The whole thing would be integrated into the story. Axl defeats 3 or 4 Mavericks. All the while, X is still dealing with his fear of becoming a Maverick, fearing all he lost and hating his carelessness. Before your 4th fight, X will start getting more hostile and snappy at Axl, making Alia worried for X, since she's never seen him so worked up at himself. Axl begins to suspect X going Maverick to himself (he'd think "H-he isn't going...nah, of course not. Commander X is too strong for that...but...) Once the 4th stage is complete we get a midstage, like in Mega Man 7 or 8. A Mechanaloid is causing havoc in the city and Axl offers to go help. However, X sees that it's the same one that he caused the accident with and this sends him spiraling into anger.

"It's still out there?! After all I did, it wasn't enough?!? Damn it!!"

"Commander! Let me go take it out! Those people are in danger!"

"Why? So you can cause more damage with your recklessness?! You want to be a Maverick Hunter? Act like one and grow up!"

"...that's it... I'm not taking this from an old man that's crying about one little mistake he made!"

"...tch...you can't go anyway...you have your mission... just... stand down for now, kid."

"Commander X, what are you-?"

"You're right, Axl. I've been stewing about this for too long. This guy's mine. I have to prove this to myself."

That's how I think the scene would go. You go in as X and fight the Mechanaloid after a short stage rescuing plenty of civilians along the way. Alia and Axl are watching the events and communicating with X as well. X wins the battle, but suddenly his Buster goes off out of nowhere again, nearly destroying something that would put civilians in harms way. They are saved in the nick of time by Axl, who ports in anyway to try to help. X starts to doubt himself again, but Axl could see that it was something out of his control. The two go back to Hunter Base to run diagnostics and they find a bug in X's Buster systems, a lesser string of the Sigma Virus. X gets repaired after seeing this virus as a warning that Sigma might be back. This snaps him out of it and this gets him to go out and fight. You can now choose to go out as Axl, X, or as a team. If you go solo, your shots will be stronger, but without the backup, you'll be left with less defense.

Zero?

Nope, I'm not forgetting our favorite robot swordsman. At all. He will not make a physical appearance at all in the game. Why? Well...the Mega Man Zero series is still a thing. While I like the idea that Zero's ending in X6 being at the very end of the series, I'm trying to keep a stronger set of continuity here. Zero would still be in stasis, though he could communicate with X, since I'm thinking this could be a precursor to Cyber Elves, having Zero be something like a separate AI that can still communicate. As for playing as him? Oh he's still available...as a Bio Metal! I'm thinking after your first Maverick stage, a Zero spirit will appear in a level (kinda like the X Hunters in X2 but less stupid). Go find it, and Axl will be challenged to a fight against Zero, or at least a Reploid being controlled by his spirit. Before Axl finishes it off, X tells him to stand down, and Zero comes back to talk with X. The Spirit also leaves behind the Z-Saber, and thus infusing Axl with Zero's abilities, thus creating a prototype of the Z-Type Bio Metal from ZX.

Red Alert

So, get this. What if Sigma really WAS technically gone forever? I mean the bodies are all used up. The Spirit lives on, yes, but ol' Siggy ran out of his own bodies. Humor me here. What if Red Alert became the new villain faction full time? What if Red became the new face of Sigma? We'll call it...Red Doom or something. Sigma basically integrated himself into Red's systems and basically became part of his robotic code as thoughhe was always Sigma. This could also explain more why Axl needed to leave Red Alert, but it also shows how much in denial he was about Red going Maverick, since Red taught Axl everything he knows.

Script Changes?

I made my case about where the plot should go, but lemme try to work out personalities I think everyone could get down with in general.

Axl is the cocky, hot-blooded new kid who wants to prove himself to be better than where he came from. No petulant, childish talking or stupidity here. He'd be more like Sonic the Hedgehog but still acting just a little green. Still taking things just seriously enough for his quips to be endearing.

X takes his role as a CO very seriously. He's to the point and ensures that Axl is taught the way a situation must be handled. He hates how lax Axl is during his missions and tries to get him to focus. In combat, X is a no nonsense fighter who is ready to bring in the Mavericks, by force if need be. He doesn't try to get them to go peacefully considering his experience. (in fact he'll say once "I guess I can't expect you to come quietly?") No more "Why must Reploids fight each other" and blah blah blah. We all heard this. While he hates the fight, he knows at this point that the world needs a warrior, sort of like Gohan if that helps.

Zero is supportive of X and does his best to help keep his mind out of darkness. He'll even say "You were willing to stand by my side when I feared going Maverick, so I'll be here to do the same."

Red is a lot more cold at the start, outright insulting Axl, saying that he's no more than a worthless prototype, and the next generation of Reploids will be far superior to Axl's faulty design, or taunting X saying "How the mighty hath fallen. How does it feel, X? How does it feel to have to watch as the world crumbles to nothing through the eyes of your good for nothing amateur all because you couldn't keep a tab on your trigger finger?" Red will also be a boss at the end of Axl's first stage before the Maverick fights, and you're meant to lose it to show how powerful he is. You can see shreds of Sigma in there, but he is woven into Red's thoughts and personality in a way that makes Sigma and Red seem equal in the body, though a body can still be created (basically Red Sigma will be put in a more "Sigma appropriate" body with the bald head and big ass chin. Basically Sigma takes Red completely in a way. They're both in control, like their souls combined if that makes sense.

Everyone else is how they should be. Alia, for example is more like how she was in X8.

These are just a few changes that would make Mega Man X7 a much more plot centered game that knows how to work with it's characters. Other fixes like making it faster, tweaking the weapons, making Dr. Light stay as an AI, all that feels superfluous, because a lot of that just makes sense to change. Same with presentation, but with a new script, new lines are inevitable, so duh.

Stay tuned for more Game Fixes! If you want to request a game, lemme know!

[pietromelim]

Jesse Blackthorn and Lucie Herondale!

Takes place after Chain of Gold so will have spoilers!

Lucie Herondale was trying to write more of The Secret Princess Lucie,but she could barely keep her attention in her own novel.

After her conversation with Grace,she could only think about Jesse Blackthorn. He gave away his last breath in order to save James. To save her brother. And that was more than enough for Lucie to wish she could help Jesse.

Her strange power and it's connection with ghosts. She still didn't fully understand what she was able to do. Jesse was a different type of ghost and only three women could see him,she was one of them.

The other two were his mother,Tatiana Blackthorn,who was now confined in the Adamant Citadel with the Iron Sisters. She wouldn't leave anytime soon.

Jesse didn't seemed to be worried though,at least Lucie had that impression. Perhaps he didn't even knew of some of his mother's doings,but he knew that she was trying to bring him back. And Lucie could understand that.

Losing loved ones is never an easy thing to deal with,and perhaps sometimes one would wish to bring the beloved back from the dead. But wishing was one thing,doing it was something else.

And the other who could also see Jesse was his sister,Grace. Lucie didn't quite knew which kind of relationship they had. It could be like the one she had with James,her older brother. But then,she didn't knew the Blackthorn siblings that well to know.

She knew Jesse,she had known him for seven years now. Ever since she saw him on the forest that night,she never forgot his face,and she was just a little girl.

That had to have somekind of meaning.

-What are you thinking about? You seem to be so far from here.-Said a voice she knew well by now.

Jesse. Apparently he wanted to pay her a little visit.

Unlike the other times,Lucie wasn't startled. She was getting used to Jesse suddenly appearing at her room. It's not like she approved it,a gentleman would never do that,but Jesse wasn't like any other boy she met.

She always saw almost every boy she met as a brother. Though she didn't knew how she saw Jesse.

-I was just trying to write,but i'm not really inspired today. And you? Have you grown bored of your daily ghost activities?-Asked Lucie.

-I would say nightly ghost activities. But yes,i could go to the Inquisitor's house and talk to Grace,but i wouldn't like if the Inquisitor or his family to think that Grace is a crazy girl who talks to herself.-Said Jesse.

-And so you found yourself here to talk to me? I'm pretty sure my parents could think i'm mad myself if they heard our conversation.-Said Lucie.

-Nothing wrong with that. I heard that every writer is a bit nuts.-Jesse said,and Lucie laughed,making him smile.

-I wanted to thank you. Your last breath saved my brother's life. I have a great debt to you.-Lucie said.

Jesse shook his head.

-You owe me nothing Lucie. I am already dead,but your brother has a entire life ahead of him. I don't regret what i did.-Jesse said.

-Have you told Grace about it? Or your mother? I was wondering if you could go to the Adamant Citadel?-Asked Lucie.

-I didn't told Grace,nor my mother knows. I never really tried to go to the Citadel. Seems risky,even for a ghost like me.-Jesse said.

-It is a shame. It seems to me that saving my brother's life has caused you to hide things from your family.-Lucie said.

Jesse shrugged.

-It makes no difference. My mother was using necromancy in order to bring me back,and she knew what would happen if the Clave found out. I feel sorry for her,but she did this to herself. That demon nearly harmed Grace,and i wouldn't be able to stand that.-Jesse said.

There seemed to be a little bit of anger in his tone. Did he not wanted to live again? Necromancy was awful indeed,but one could understand Tatiana's reasons for wanting her son back.

-You and Grace seem to be quite close to each other. How is she dealing with the fact that you do not wish to be brought back?-Lucie asked.

-Would you mind if we talked about something else? Was it your novel that you were trying to write just now? Are you having a hard time finding inspiration,Lulu?-Jesse asked,smiling.

Lucie blushed hard. She was hoping that Jesse wouldn't remember that nickname Will had for her. He would always tease her now.

-Not really,no. Secret Princess Lucie is currently trying to find the best way to help the Good Old Ghost Boy! Though they do say the boy is very stubborn and likes to invade a lady's room in the middle of the night.-Lucie said.

Jesse's eyes widened.

-You are writing about me? Am i the Good Old Ghost Boy? That sounds awfully terrible!-Jesse said.

-Don't worry about it. Secret Princess Lucie is not a novel i intend to show to the world. Anyways,now that you no longer possess your last breath,we can no longer Ghost-Travel like we did before,right?-Lucie asked.

Jesse nodded.

-So it seems. I lost my solidity. I guess you could say i became more of a normal ghost now,though i'm still a little different.-Said Jesse.

It was a real shame that Jesse was no longer solid,like a normal boy would be. Lucie did felt like giving him a hug after he saved James,too bad she wouldn't be able to do that anymore.

Or at least,not for now. She was going to bring him back,she promised that for herself. It was the least she could do. And Grace was going to help her do it.

Jesse didn't want any help,so she was going to hide that from him,but it wasn't that important really. Once his eyes were open again,he would thank her,she was sure of it.

And perhaps he would do more than just that.

-You are quite unique,Jesse Blackthorn. This friendship is a little odd,isn't it? But i still like it. I like to be your friend.-Lucie said.

Jesse grinned.

-So do i. "The Intrepid Writer and The Mysterious Ghost". I definitely see a great novel there.-Jesse said.

Lucie only nodded. It was a great story alright. But that one she would keep to herself,in her heart.

[undertalethingies]

Venn Diagram

They hadn’t always been opposites. Hadn’t always been short and tall and lowercase and capital and introvert and extrovert.

They hadn’t always stood apart, even when they were together.

--

It’s hard to say when the brothers began to grow apart. It wasn’t some sudden divide, some abrupt shattering of seemingly every similarity they possessed, but rather a slow change, a creeping realization that they weren’t the same as each other anymore.

Perhaps the earliest divide came when they learned speech, stepping blithely over the rules of language as only the ignorant can.

Papyrus used only capital letters, because his teacher told him they were for Important Words and Papyrus felt that everything was important, that the supposedly less significant words were being done dirty and that if no one else would acknowledge them as they deserved, he’d just have to do it himself. Even so early in his life, he showed his compassion.

Sans, if he’d had the words to put voice to his thoughts at the time, would have said that capital letters simply felt too loud to him. He was a creature of quiet, hiding in the dark spaces his caretakers tried so hard to forbid him from (and isn’t it funny, how even then he’d decided that rules were something for other people) and while he respected his brother’s choice like he’d respect every one of Papyrus’ choices for the rest of their lives, he knew it wasn’t a choice meant for him.

Sans spoke softly, his words round and friendly, while Papyrus had never been anything but a bundle of sharp edges trying his hardest to be heard.

--

Sans wasn’t a people person. He thought the majority of monsters were irritating and a bit slow, but he’d learned young how to smile and laugh in the right places and he was just quiet enough that people mistook him for a good listener. He’d learn later how not to be filled with contempt every time someone was different from him, but in the beginning of his life he was popular and surrounded with people who thought they were his friends, and he let himself inject venom in his teasing remarks.

Papyrus loved people. He was desperate for them to like him, desperate to fit easily like so many others seemed to. He wanted so badly to be like his brother, to be surrounded by people who thought the world of him, but he said the wrong things in the wrong places and he didn’t seem to know where he was supposed to joke, to laugh, and where he was supposed to be serious.

Papyrus was a pariah looking as hard as he could for just a single friend, and Sans had allowed himself to become a bully because he was charming and looked kinder than he was.

--

Papyrus shot up like a weed, easily outstripping his peers. Combined with his loudness, his new size tended to intimidate the people around him. Soon enough, though, they learned he was kind and harmless and only recognized cruel words when they weren’t said with a smile. 

Sans stayed short, and his very presence seemed to put those around him at ease. He turned a blind eye to the people who hurt his brother with kind expressions and told himself it was Papyrus’ own fault for trusting so easily, told himself the abuse he ignored would help his brother learn lessons.

Sans was small and friend shaped, with a sharp kind of cruelty hidden behind his smiling mask, and Papyrus was big and looked the grim spectre of death the humans so feared, but wouldn’t have hurt a fly if doing so would cure malaria.

--

The brother’s parents eventually heard about the bullying, and about the way Sans was learning to inflict harm with a word, and they moved to a new neighborhood with a new school.

After that, the brothers learned how to lie, though you wouldn’t guess from either of them how thoroughly they knew the art.

--

The new school was more proactive, and Papyrus no longer had to worry about his lunch going missing or his desk being graffitied. Sans, on the other hand, was quickly learning that his now routine manipulations would no longer be tolerated.

They were both quick learners. They picked up on the new rules fast.

Both brothers made friends, at that school. Papyrus became close with two children who were as brash and reckless as he was, while Sans made the acquaintance of a shy lizard girl named Alphys.

--

In the years that followed, both siblings mellowed out. Sans lost the venomous edge to his words after Alphys threatened their friendship over it in a rare moment of courage. He collected a circle of associates and kept them all at all arms length as he was wont to do, and his grades stayed high.

Papyrus learned how to hold his tongue when a harsh truth would cause someone pain, after he lost a friend to a thoughtless comment. He learned how to fake a smile when the other moved away. His grades were high too, because for all that people thought he was an idiot, the pure logic of the classroom came easy to him in a way people never had.

The next big thing happened when the brothers graduated at 16.

--

Papyrus got a job as an accountant, crunching numbers for a construction company in the capital. He found the work boring and far too easy, but he needed the money and it was one of the few jobs where they still wanted him after the interview, so he didn’t have much of a choice.

Sans worked odd jobs until he was 18, and had bought a cheap apartment in Hotland the year before. The reason he stopped the odd jobs when he was 18 is because he’d received an offer to be assistant to the new royal scientist- his old friend Alphys. 

Sans was satisfied with his job. Papyrus would have given just about anything to be doing anything else.

--

When the brothers were twenty, Sans and Alphys did something horrible and desperately attempted to cover up the evidence. They stayed friends, because an event that traumatic could only really serve to unite them, but both thought it best if they went their separate ways, and kept Sans’ involvement in the whole thing as quiet as possible. Thankfully, they’d never publicized his status as assistant to the royal scientist, so it was a simple task for him to pack his bags.

Papyrus, on the other hand, had accumulated quite a bit of nest egg from his job as an accountant. A housing lease had opened up in Snowdin, a small town on the outskirts of the kingdom that had a reputation for its kind and welcoming residents. Papyrus figured the place would be perfect for him, so he started looking for a roommate to cover what little of the lease he couldn’t afford himself.

Sans contacted him, and the brothers moved to Snowdin.

--

Long ago, they’d made a game of lying to each other, of covering up everything about themselves that might have hurt the other, and it was such an ingrained habit by the time they went back to living together that it would have been odd if they’d begun telling each other the truth.

Here are the things they never mentioned, that the other knew anyway.

Papyrus had moved to Snowdin because he hadn’t had a close friend in years, and he hoped that it would be easier in a place renowned for its kindness.

Sans had discovered a horrible secret about the nature of time a few days before the amalgamates had awoken, and he would never tell anyone about it, even Alphys.

Papyrus had made the acquaintance of a golden flower that called itself Flowey, but had all the mannerisms of the dead prince and none of his kindness.

Sans had a machine in a secret basement, one that he hoped would be able to break the cycle once and for all.

Papyrus knew that Flowey had no soul, and that ever one of his kind smiles were faked.

Sans would never finish his machine, because the cost of its activation was too great to pay.

Papyrus knew exactly what happened to humans captured by the royal guard.

Sans kept secrets in a notebook spelled against time itself.

--

A human fell, and they changed the world in ways no one had ever dared dream.

Papyrus had nightmares about xenocide, and Sans had entries in his notes that told him exactly what had happened in the last corridor.

--

The surface was nice, and even if Frisk seemed to smile in all the wrong places and react to things before they happened, well.

Everyone had eccentricities, right? 

--

Sans finally got to see tomorrow, and Papyrus allowed his smile to become entirely real when he spotted a hedge trimmed into the shape of his smile.

[cardinaldaughter]

Good Omens Changed My Life. Twice.

Bear with me. This is super long, and super personal. But I figured, on the 30th anniversary of the book, I’d share with you all just how important Good Omens is to me, even if I didn’t fully understand how much until recently.

A thirty-year-long tale under the cut.

(mentions of death, homophobia, religion and politics)

I was born 30 years ago in the American South. While not exactly actively political, my parents were conservative, as was basically everyone I knew. And so I grew up exposed to Fox News and Glenn Beck and the NRA and conservative view points. I remember telling my father I couldn’t wait to grow up so I could be in the NRA with him. I remember thinking how I was going to vote for a republican when I was old enough to vote. What little I understood about the world, I understood from a conservative perspective, and because I was a child, I trusted the adults around me and believed what they said was sincere and trusted that their beliefs and intentions were honest.

During my childhood, I spent a great deal of time with one of my aunts. She was like a second mother to me, and I think, in some ways, I was probably her “second chance” at motherhood, considering she didn’t have a great relationship with her son. I spent most of my Saturday’s with my aunt. We went on all kinds of adventures together, and I loved her probably more than anyone in the world, my parents included.

When I was 10, she lost her battle to cancer. It was the second major death I’d experienced as a child, but this one struck harder and hurt much deeper. If it weren’t for the fact that this post is about Good Omens (I’m getting there, I promise) I would spend the rest of my time trying to express to you how much I loved this woman, and how deeply her death impacted me. But that’s another story for another time.

My aunt, during her last few years of life, started going to a church. And when she died, those people showed up to the funeral. And by showed up, I mean physically and emotionally. They sang songs. They helped my mom with arrangements (she was in charge). They brought us food. They loved on me, even though I didn’t know them. They clearly loved my aunt, and that love carried over to her family. And my parents- who weren’t exactly Christians and didn’t attend church- were extremely moved. So my mom decided to go to that church the following Sunday to thank them for their kindness. We never left.

That church became home. I met people there who changed my life. These people became brothers, sisters, mentors, friends. They helped fill the gap my aunt’s death had left, and though I was struggling and unable to properly mourn (which I wouldn’t understand for another decade or more) I felt better. I felt loved. I felt accepted. As I grew up there, attending the academy run through the church and getting more involved in ministry, I began paying more and more attention to what the adults around me were saying. And like most conservatives, they lamented over the evils of abortion and homosexuality and liberal ideology. And because I loved these adults, trusted them, respected them, believed them, I adopted the same beliefs. I was a child; they were adults. They couldn’t be wrong, right? I attended a community college for two years, then transferred to a close by university that was far enough away that I needed to move to an apartment in another city, but close enough that I could still come home frequently. But it meant leaving the church. I promised my friends I’d be back every Sunday I could make it. I didn’t want to leave, because all my friends were at that church, and it was home. But I wanted to get my bachelor’s, so I packed my things and I moved with the determination that I would come running home as soon as I was able. Before I left, I was told by a couple people in the church: “Now when you get to college, don’t open your mind so much that your brain falls out!” I thought that was an incredibly stupid thing to say, because it was in itself ridiculous- having an open mind was not a bad thing- but also because I was secure in my beliefs. I wasn’t going to change. Once at university- despite being incredibly shy and introverted, I managed to make a few friends. One was a Jewish atheist, and another was a girl from India who practiced Hinduism. Both were so far out of my understanding of life that I was fascinated, but rather than trying to “save them” (something I’d NEVER been comfortable with, so I just used my shyness as an excuse not to “witness” to people) I listened. Their stories were fascinating. And I am so grateful they were willing to share their experiences with me, and for a time I was very close to them both.

Okay. Now for the part you’ve been waiting for.

During this time at college, I, through a roundabout way, discovered Good Omens. After some major difficulty in hunting down the book, I got my hands on a copy- where an angel and demon reject everything they’ve been told they should be in order to help save the world. I didn’t understand why at the time, but I identified with Crowley. I felt a kinship with him I wasn’t qualified to fully appreciate, but I absolutely loved him. This demon who deep down didn’t want to be evil; who’s only real crime had been asking questions- something about that resonated with me.

“Why would asking questions be considered a bad thing?” I wondered.

It was during this time that, thanks to friends who were so different than me, and professors who had a much broader sense of the world, and thanks to some inspiration from a wily serpent, I found myself doing something I’d never done before:

I started questioning everything I’d ever been told.

Because, if I was honest with myself, I genuinely didn’t understand why two men or two women couldn’t get married. I didn’t understand why a woman was forced to have a baby she didn’t want or couldn’t care for. I didn’t actually want to join the NRA because I didn’t actually like guns. They made me uncomfortable, and I thought there should be more regulations on them. I read about and agreed with the tenants of feminism. I began learning about the LGBT community and realized that once I stopped being told over and over again that these people were evil sinners bound for hell, I realized that they were just normal people like me trying to find their place in the world and love with dignity and freedom. What was evil about that? “Oh god,” I said my senior year of college, when I realized the devastating truth I had been reluctant to face. “I can’t be liberal! I can’t be a feminist! I’m a Christian!” - I said this to myself numerous times, because I had been taught that to be a Democrat or a feminist was fundamentally non-Christian. And I had a years-long identity crisis over this. I struggled with this inner turmoil that I felt- how can I be a liberal feminist AND a Christian? Surely I can’t... 

But I was. This realization caused me to have a full-on identity crisis. I cried. I panicked. I prayed for God to correct my thinking if I was wrong. I only grew more convinced of my convictions.

Finally, I graduated and moved back home. I got married to the love of my life. I resumed going to church. I figured maybe if I just stop asking questions, things will go back to normal, and I won’t go to hell for my spiritual misstep. But everything felt different, somehow. My husband didn’t seem really political, so I never asked his opinions on things. I kept my thoughts to myself, having a completely hidden existential crisis while I sat in the church I’d grown up in with the people I’d once loved and trusted and believed implicitly, and realized I no longer trusted or believed them. Finally, a couple years into our marriage, I broke down and confessed to my husband (who I met at church, by the way) how I was feeling about...well,  everything. In a truly relieving turn of events, he felt the same way I did. I was so relieved to finally speak out about my feelings, about how I wasn’t conservative but was so afraid of that fact. How I was a feminist. How I wanted to vote third party in the 2012 election (because I was too afraid to commit to the sin of voting democrat, which to some people in my church, it would have been.) Political discussions with my husband increased in volume, length, passion, and frustration. We started keeping up with politics more, especially as we realized we were adults now and these things mattered. We talked a lot about our opinions, and how those opinions didn’t exactly line up with the church. I was so conflicted I honestly felt like I was being ripped in half. Finally my husband said he wanted to leave the church. I was a part of a couple ministries within the church, one of which I was very attached to as it allowed me a lot of creative freedom and I had made some very close friendships through. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to leave, I really did, but I literally felt chained to my place. I wouldn’t have phrased it that way then, but I know that’s what it was now. So we kept our mouths shut and stayed at church like good little obedient Christians. He still wanted to leave, and ultimately began going less. Because of my commitments, I needed to be there every week, even though some days, getting up to go to church made me feel like I was suffocating. But surely God would change my heart if I was in the wrong. I begged him to. I tried to adopt old beliefs, but they felt dirty and wrong in a way that made me physically ill. So I began to quietly try to accept I was a Christian who was also a Democrat. The internal war within me raged on. I had so many questions, but I knew better than to ask them. And then 2016 happened. Donald Trump was elected president. And I watched that man espouse racist, harmful, evil things, and I watched as the people I grew up believing and trusting support him. Defend him. Proclaim he was chosen by God. And I felt sick. If that man is what Christians view as a godly man, I wanted no part in Christianity. And I said as much. In an angry post on Facebook the morning after he won the election, I said Trump was not godly. I repeated things he had said. I said you can’t call yourself a Christian and support this man. I got reprimanded by leaders in my church. “You represent the church. You have to be careful what you say,” I was told. “God will take care of us, don’t worry,” others tried to mitigate. I had a family member, someone I trusted and admired with my whole heart- someone I’d gone to for advice countless times- tell me my words were vile. My words. The words challenging a wicked man who made fun of disabled people, and who was sexist and racist and awful... who people falsely believed represented the so-called loving God we were called to follow. Devastated and confused, I took down the post, stayed silent, and continued going to church. But I felt so sick. And that sickness ate at me for the next three years. I wanted to leave, I really did, but I couldn’t. I didn’t know how. It wasn’t like I was being forced to stay, but I felt glued to my spot, paralyzed and helpless. I’d been in church for 20 years. This place had been so helpful, and hopeful.... but it wasn’t that place to me anymore.

How does one turn their back on their home?

During all that, I turned to fiction for comfort. My existential crisis of faith was making me miserable, so I buried myself in stories, art, video games, shows, movies, fanfiction, to help ease the ache. And then, after months of eager anticipation, May 2019 rolled around, and Good Omens was released on Amazon Prime. I still loved the book. Loved Crowley. I couldn’t wait to watch the show. As before, I adored Crowley, but the more the show went on, the more my heart and soul latched onto Aziraphale. Everything he said and did made me want to hug the poor dear, though it wasn’t until episode four that I realized exactly why I felt such strong kinship to the TV version of the angel. Aziraphale and I were both trapped. He was bound by the rules of Heaven and his angelic duties. I was bound by my connection to the church and the ministry I was now in charge of. “If I could just reach the right people...” Aziraphale said desperately to Crowley, who replied: “That won’t happen!” And then, stubbornly, desperately, Aziraphale reaches out the Metatron, and I watched as the hope in an angel’s eyes died as he was told heaven wasn’t going to change, they wanted their war, and he needed to get up there and do his part. That scene resonated so much with me, because in that moment I wasn’t watching a fictional show- I was reliving my own life. The moment I was told my words saying Trump was not a godly man didn’t represent the church. That look on Aziraphale’s face expressed the despair I felt when I realized the church was fundamentally wrong. I was stuck in an institution I didn’t exactly support, but felt bound to stick with even as I grappled with the fact that perhaps they weren’t quite as good as I’d once believed them to be. I’d been questioning for some time, like Crowley had, but like Aziraphale, I was afraid to really do anything about it. I kept hoping that I’d just... come across the right person and they could alleviate my concerns, but... that never happened. I kept believing, like Aziraphale, that Heaven (the church) were the good guys, and this was all just a massive misunderstanding and surely they’d see reason. I mean, they had too. Right?

What encouraged me the most though, was at end of the story, is that Aziraphale eventually does reject heaven for Crowley/earth/humans, and is still an angel. Is still seen as good. His choice is seen as the right one, and he isn’t punished for standing up to his “good” superiors and saying, “No I will not do what you want”. It meant so much to me, to see him walk away from heaven and end up much happier than he’d ever been. It made me hope that I could achieve that same happy ending. It took a few more months of coming to terms with my feelings on everything. But I finally felt that metaphorical bond to the church snap after one Sunday where our pastor mocked a liberal politician and said some other things that made me so upset I stood up and walked out of church. I got home to my husband- my Crowley, who’d been ready to officially leave for years but was too fast for me- and told him I was ready. He asked if I was sure. I said yes. I wanted to leave. The last Sunday of February was my last Sunday at that church. I don’t think I would have had the courage to do it if not for watching Aziraphale’s struggle, his uncertainty, and his ultimate triumph. Knowing how his story ended gave me the hope that once I walked out of that place for the last time, I’ll be able to heal, and I’ll be able to actually do the good I so long to do and be in this world.

I find it funny, looking back. Reading Good Omens gave me the courage to actually question what I’d always been taught. Ten years later, the show gave me the courage to act on those questions. To know that having them isn’t enough. I need to ask them. And then I need to take a stand when the answers aren’t satisfactory.

I don’t think it’s a coincidence that the show came out during an extremely important time in my life- when I was trying and failing to find the courage to leave. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that when I needed Aziraphale and Crowley the most, they were there, showing me the way and telling me that it will be alright. I don’t think it’s a coincidence, but I do think it’s a little bit ineffable.

Thank you, Neil and Terry, for creating such amazing characters. Thank you David, for being a brilliant Crowley, and thank you Michael, for being able to convey in a single look how hopeless I’d been feeling for years, essentially snapping me out of my emotional stasis, and giving me the courage to do what needed to be done.

Thank you to the GO fandom, whose stories and art and memes have provided me with a great deal of comfort as I adjust to my new reality.

I love you all. To the world.

[nobodyfamousposts]

Cornholio4 from ao3 here and As someone who earlier watched and loved Endgame; how about Marinette and Tikki have to overlook the Snap as it happens as they survive but it also affects kwamis. They leave Paris to help deal with it while her remaining classmates try to find her out fo fear that she was lost too without them getting the chance to make amends for the business with Lila.

I have not yet seen Endgame and came up with this off the top of my head. And I’m admittedly going in a bit of a different direction than what you’re asking here, but I hope it’s enjoyable all the same.

I’m of the opinion that kwamis can’t really be “snapped” out of existence that easily. They’re mini gods born of concepts.

That protection doesn’t apply to their holders though.

The first sign that something was wrong was the appearance of that spaceship in America.

A country away and across the sea was too far for Ladybug and Chat Noir to attempt to go to offer aid, but they remained vigilant in case more trouble arrived. Which naturally, it did. 

Just not in Paris.

More reports came in. Various ambushes across the world. In Scotland, for sure. Then the major battle in Wakanda, where the Avengers fought the Mad Titan Thanos for a Stone? An artifact of some sort. With Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and the army of Wakanda, surely they could win.

Except they didn’t. Whatever Thanos had been after, he had gotten.

It happened with a Snap.

Marinette could almost swear she had heard it when it happened—like the snap had been in her own mind instead of across the world. Whatever had happened, she had felt it, though she didn’t understand it. An encroaching feeling of dread that burrowed into her chest and became a growing gnawing pain that threatened to eat her from the inside out. She didn’t know what it was or what it represented, but it was unlike any akuma or foe she had ever faced.

The second sign that something was wrong was when Tikki began to shudder and sob as if in pain. Despite Marinette’s best efforts, there was nothing she could do to help her. And Tikki couldn’t bring herself to explain it.

But what really made it clear was when her own parents turned to dust right in front of her.

“Is…is this an akuma?” Marinette gasped out—begged.

And Tikki only looked up at her in despair.

“No.”

And she wailed.

She was panicking. Of course she was. Her entire world was rapidly falling apart and she didn’t know why. All she could do—all that she could think to do was get to Master Fu’s in hopes that whatever was happening hadn’t taken him as well and that he might have an answer.

She prayed he would still be there. She prayed harder than she ever had for anything in her life.

Please, please let someone remain. Please let him be all right. Please let him have an answer.

She didn’t even bother to detransform once she reached his home, her desperation and need for what little strength the suit and feeling of Tikki’s magic could offer was too great. And when she found him and Wayzz seated at his table pouring over the tablet, she felt like she could finally breathe.

“Master Fu! What is happening?!” 

Fu’s head snapped up to look at her, and he smiled shakily in relief. It seemed he had been just as worried as she had. “Marinette. You are all right.”

“Yes, of course!” She assured him. No turning to dust and blowing away in the wind for her, thank you very much!

As if sensing her feelings—or perhaps to confirm for himself, Wayzz floated over to her and rested a paw on her cheek, giving a small smile and nod when she didn’t crumble beneath his touch. She wanted to smile back. She wanted to reassure him. But…

“My parents…” She stifled a sob. “They just…disappeared right in front of my eyes! It’s happening all over the place! The whole city is affected.”

“It’s not just the city.” Fu confirmed, somberly. “I fear that this is far, far greater than Paris.”

It was.

With a short detransformation, the four watched in mounting horror as the news reports came in from all over the world detailing the sudden and rapid loss of life. People disappearing in seconds. Of all the chaos erupting, how emergencies were popping up everywhere and how there weren’t nearly enough authorities or EMS workers to handle it all.

More information both flooded and trickled in. They had to work through the flood of panicked news broadcasts and stories to find the bits of information that could explain what had happened.

Of Thanos, a “Mad Titan” from another world.

Of the Avengers trying to stop him.

Of Wakanda and the final stand.

Of how they failed.

Of what was being called “The Snap”.

Marinette sent out message after message to Chat Noir, telling him where to meet her. Hoping he was unharmed. Hoping that whatever had happened could be taken care of. Hoping that he was just slow to respond. Or caught up in something elsewhere. Or simply hadn’t transformed and thus hadn’t received her message yet.

All her hopes were dashed that evening when it was a lone cat kwami who arrived, carrying a ring in his much too small hands.

“I’m sorry.”

And Marinette cried.

The days that followed passed mostly in silence. With no one left at home, Marinette couldn’t bring herself to return to the bakery. She was technically an orphan now, anyway, and if she did get caught, she might not be able to get away to do anything as Ladybug. As such, she stayed with Fu while the two of them attempted to find some means of undoing this travesty. Their attempts to look through the tablet and decipher more of the Miraculous text gave them no answers. Fu was determined to not give up and kept trying. Marinette continued to help him, though less out of any real belief that they could find an answer and more of an attempt to keep busy.

She stubbornly ignored her phone. She kept it off and refused to even touch it. And when researching, she avoided any news of Paris at all costs, especially the Ladyblog.

Marinette had already lost her parents and her partner. She didn’t want to find out who else she knew was gone.

Maybe it was worse not knowing. But it was still too fresh and the pain too great. She didn’t want to discover that she had lost anyone else. Alya. Rose. Juleka. Alix. Myelen. Nino. Luka. Ivan. Ms. Chamack. Manon. Hell, even Chloe.

Three was too much as it was. And she knew all of Paris was suffering, but she just…she just couldn’t bring herself to know what she had lost. Not as long as there was a chance to save them. Because if she found out any of them were gone as well?

She may not have the heart to keep trying.

Unfortunately, she didn’t know how to translate the ancient texts. So that was left to Fu. Meanwhile, she continued to gather information from the rest of the world—particularly about Thanos and the Avengers. Was Thanos still active? Were the Avengers still around? Were they planning anything? Did they have a way to undo this?

She spent her time searching fruitlessly for information—hopefully for answers she could use. All while Tikki and Plagg stayed attached to her side, as if desperately seeking and giving comfort. Neither were doing well, though it was for different reasons. Tikki could feel the pain of Thanos altering reality as they knew it to erase half of all life. And Plagg was a mix of exhaustion and sorrow over the loss of Chat Noir. He wouldn’t even gorge himself on the cheese available. She had to encourage him to eat.

When she couldn’t stand to look at the computer or TV anymore, she would bake, filling Fu’s home with aromas that would be enticing if everything didn’t taste like ash in her mouth. Tikki at least seemed to appreciate the efforts, constantly nibbling away at all times in an attempt to build up her energy. If there was anything to be gained over the days and weeks that they spent there, Tikki was improving at least. That was one thing to be happy for.

Marinette didn’t feel she deserved to be happy. The world was a mess. Paris was a mess. And by all counts, she was Ladybug and should be able to do SOMETHING. But she was scared to go out. Not for herself or what could happen to her, but afraid of that striking realization of just how alone she might be. She was worried that she would break. Either he knew how fragile her current state was or otherwise knew something else she did not, because Fu insisted she remain hidden just in case Thanos tried anything else.

“Have faith, Marinette. There is a way.” He assured her.

But she wasn’t so sure.

She wanted to help. Paris needed her.

But she needed Chat.

She needed her parents.

She needed an answer.

So perhaps it was luck or fate that the answer came one day less than a month after this nightmare started in the form of a glowing orange portal that deposited two strangers into Fu’s study.

“Who are you?!” She demanded. She wasn’t transformed, but she still had her earrings and Tikki was nearby and at full health. If she had to fight, she could. To protect the few people she had left, she would.

One of the men was tall and looked quite strong—a warrior, she realized. Blond hair and eyes that were kind but sharp. She could tell from his stance and his expression that he was very well experienced. Could she take him?

Her eyes narrowed.

If he was a threat, she would certainly try.

But he held up his hands in a gesture signifying he meant no harm. “Please. We’re not here to fight.”

She wasn’t sure she could trust him, but he seemed sincere. Sincere and desperate for something.

The other man stepped forward at that point. He was Chinese and looked stern in a way similar to Fu. “We must speak with the Guardian.”

“Well then,” came Master Fu’s voice from the side door, causing all three to snap towards him in varying degrees of surprise and concern. “Shall we discuss matters in the living area?”

It was interesting meeting with these strangers over tea. The Chinese man was settled quickly, clearly wanting to not waste time. Meanwhile, the American one was clearly unused to the customs but took the differences in stride, noted how the others were seated, and followed with little issue.

“I see your side has grown since our groups parted ways.”

The man who called himself Wong nodded. “Yes, we gained knowledge and items of power, as well as followers to disperse our teachings through.” He frowned, seeming to study Fu. “But it would seem your side has had some setbacks.”

Marinette initially wanted to bristle at that and come to Master Fu’s defense, but for all that they spoke of division and two groups, they did not sound at odds with one another. And if anything, Wong sounded…sad for the fate of Fu’s monastery.

And for his part, Fu did not take offense to the comment. It was only the truth. He lowered his head, regret clear in his expression. “Mistakes have been made. But at least most of the Miraculous remain intact and safe.”

“So it’s true then?” The blond man asked, eager but cautious. “These ‘Miraculous’ items are really on par with the Infinity Stones?”

Fu nodded. “In a way. The Infinity Stones were born of physical and quantifiable concepts of existence. The Miraculous were created from the birth of metaphysical and abstract aspects of life. Creation. Destruction. Transmission. Protection. Subjection. In a sense, the Miraculous and the Infinity Stones operated alongside and counter to each other. Intertwined but separate. Each are incredibly powerful, and extremely dangerous if they were to fall into the wrong hands.”

“There was a reason our two sects separated millennia ago.” Wong stated, continuing the explanation. “In the distant past, our Order was a singular group created to guard both the Miraculous and the Infinity Stones in their possession.” His expression hardened. “But it was soon realized that the power of both sets—even if incomplete—were too great to hold in one place or under one group, regardless of the intentions. So the Order was split into two sects—one to guard the Infinity Stones as well as other artifacts and tomes, and the other to hide the Miraculous and keep them hidden from history and the world.”

“Yes,” Fu said, somberly. “So that if one side fell and this very event happened, the other could intervene to set things right.”

“That is why we are here now.” Wong stated. “The madman known as ‘Thanos’ is no longer a threat. Now is the time to correct the damage he has caused and rebuild. But we need the aid of the Miraculous to do so.”

“I see.” Fu replied. He said nothing further.

Anxious, Marinette looked between the two in confusion and growing hope.

Please. Please. Please.

“So you’re saying that we can fix this? The Miraculous can restore things?”

There was a long pause before Fu nodded.

“The Infinity Stones and the Miraculous are different sets of power, but both are still tied to the reality we know. Both can still have an effect and counter each other if it becomes necessary. Thanos may have gotten the Stones and used them in his mad quest, but he didn’t know about the Miraculous. That will be what will unravel his plans.”

“But how?” She asked.

“The Miraculous Cure.” The man known as Wong replied.

She gasped. “What?!”

Master Fu set his cup down and started to explain. “The Miraculous Ladybug you cast is able to undo the damage done by akuma attacks, but it doesn’t stop there. You’ve fixed things that were damaged or broken before the akuma came to be—that may have even been the reason for the akuma in the first place.”

“Over the past year, there have been major crises that have gone so far as to result in world-effecting acts. Flooding, unnatural storms, even moving the planet itself. Each and every time, you were able to set things right.”

“Yeah, but wasn’t all that just because an akuma was involved?” She asked.

“No.” Fu disagreed. “The Miraculous Ladybug changed things to rights because it was what YOU believed to be right. In your hands, the Cure can correct more damage done by natural and unnatural means. It is fully possible that it can undo the damage Thanos has caused and restore those who have been lost.”

“We have a plan to amplify the spellwork to allow the effects to be greater.” Wong explained. “Our allies are looking into the process now. But your Cure is still the basis for it. We will need your support to proceed.”

She shook her head. This was just too crazy!

“But…this isn’t just Paris! This is the world—the entire UNIVERSE! I don’t know if I can!” Marinette exclaimed. “What if it doesn’t work?”

Fu nodded at her, hopefully. “Then it doesn’t work. Nothing changes. But if it does work, everything changes. That means there’s a chance things can improve and the damage can be undone. Isn’t that worth trying for?”

She clenched her fists, anxious and uncertain. “I just…”

“Miss Ladybug,” The blond man finally spoke up, drawing her attention to him. “I know it’s scary and it seems like it would hurt to let yourself hope after everything. But if there’s hope, there’s a chance. All we ask of you is that you try.”

He looked kind. There was something about him that reminded her a lot of Chat Noir. The hopeful smile and gentle eyes. The desire to see the best but expectation for disappointment. Reassurance and support. But above all, there was belief in her.

And she couldn’t help but want to not disappoint him.

“I’ll do it.” She took a breath. “I…I’ll try.”

He smiled, and it just made her miss her own partner all the more.

“Thank you.”

It took all of two weeks to get everything together. She still had concerns about Thanos, of course, but the other heroes reassured her he would not be an issue at this point. Whatever happened to him, she decided not to ask. Right now, the goal was to undo the damage he had caused.

The plan was simple and yet not. She had to cast her Miraculous Cure. But to allow it to do as much healing as possible, she would need the support of the other Miraculous to empower her. There was also a magical array created by Fu and Wong, as well as machinery put in place by Tony Stark and Bruce Banner in order to further power her Cure.

She would be the conduit at the center of all that, taking the strength they had to offer and using it to feed her spell in hopes of correcting the harm done and save the universe.

God, she felt like the main character of one of those magical girl shows Adrien liked so much.

It was strange seeing the famous Avengers dressed so uniquely.

Captain Turtle—the blond man she had come to discover was the Captain America, Steve Rogers—placed a hand on her shoulder reassuringly before heading to his place in the formation. More than anyone, he had been calm and supportive, willing to listen to her worries and help her past her uncertainty. The fact that he had lost a partner in the Snap just as she had allowed the two to have a point of relation and understanding to build on.

Black Vixen was beautiful but quiet. She kept mostly to the sidelines until she was needed, though she seemed to keep a particular eye on several parties involved in this project. Strangely enough, Marinette was not one of them. Other than a kind word of encouragement, they had little interaction. Part of Marinette wondered if she should be concerned at just how energetic Trixx seemed to be upon meeting the woman, and she couldn’t tell if it was out of excitement or agitation.

Cats Eye gave her a nod and she couldn’t help but return it. The desperation and fleeting hope in his expression made her heart ache and while she didn’t know who he had lost, she wanted nothing more than to make this work.

Buzz Bomber was a dark-skinned man with a very strict and orderly presentation to him. He struggled to move fully on his own and utilized braces, but he stood taller than many others she had seen in this place in the past weeks. And much like Mssr Rogers, he had been nothing but kind to her.

The woman who had become the Peacock was strange and cold. Her skin just as blue as the Peacock Miraculous itself even before she donned it. She had been warned repeatedly of the danger it presented, but merely shrugged off the warnings. Or was it that she welcomed them? “Promises, promises.“

And finally, Hawk Moth himself. How he had agreed to be involved, she still wasn’t certain. How the Avengers had managed to track him down and drag him to their base of operations in the first place was an even bigger question. All she could discern was that he had similarly lost someone in the Snap. And if this could restore that person, then he was willing to put his animosity for her aside—however temporarily. She didn’t trust him. And she certainly didn’t trust that he wouldn’t try anything.

That was what the very well built amazonian-like women and the talking raccoon with a very big gun seemed to be for.

No, she wasn’t going to question it. After everything else she had experienced and everything that had happened in the past month since this mess started, she was certainly not feeling inclined to argue about the raccoon. Or the gun.

Mssr Stark and Mssr Banner were going to monitor the machine while Master Fu and Wong would keep an eye on the magical aspect of things. The women and the raccoon would protect her in case of an unwelcome “surprises”. The other heroes (and Hawk Moth) would power her. And with the aid of one of Hawk Moth’s specifically NON-evilized butterflies, the Asgardian known as Thor would add his strength to hers as well in order to mitigate any potential backlash.

All Marinette had to do was cast her Cure.

“We’re ready when you are.”

She wasn’t ready.

She wasn’t sure she ever would be.

What if it didn’t work? What if it didn’t bring them back? What if it was all for nothing and her parents and everyone else stayed gone?

Could she really allow herself to hope?

…What a stupid question.

Like “allowing” herself to hope was ever a choice.

She was Marinette Dupain-Cheng.

She was Ladybug.

She believed.

“MIRACULOUS LADYBUG!”

[twinflameshardcore]

Nothing new, almost

I haven’t written for a long time because there have been no improvement between us, and what’s more, I lost my interest in him. It’s too far, too expensive to make it. I sent him gifts, lent him the money, I never got anything from him on a distance or got the money back when asked for the return. He tried to talk to me but I won’t sacrifice anymore. He may be beautiful, kind, and helpful but I don’t understand his ways of acting towards me, it’s kind of bipolar. Besides it was always too emotional between us, too much drama made out of nothing and I don’t want it anymore, it destabilizes my inner peace. So I keep 2 versions of who he may be for me. 1) he is either a twin to only wake up each another (we did in 2012) and accompany for a short time during the Earth first big vibrational rise, and go separate ways, or 2) a man who killed my twin in a past live and had to experience the uttermost importance of such a connection in the cosmic sense in a real life and what harm one can make by separating the halves through causing death, killing or other violence. I was once shown a vision of me being a Mayan woman, some sort of a sacred person coupled with a sacred partner (the one I met 2 years ago, more below) and him, the supposed twin being a conquistador who comes to kill one of us or both because he serves another and follows orders. So if it was a re-memory, it could be true that I was not supposed to be with him in this lifetime, just teach him a few lessons and become matched with the one I was coupled in a Mayan village.

Moreover, in 2018 I met somebody who vibrationally feels even closer to my heart and soul, the astral connection is also very significant, telepathy, the heart connection and so on so I would consider him the ‘second’ twin (because the former ‘failed’ to fulfill the promise, if it applies) but the trouble is the other has been married for the last couple of years, has young children and so on. Which, the funny part, makes him the best candidate for a twin as it seems they’re all mostly married yet unhappily but they say they won’t divorce for the fear of loosing what they established. ;] The Universe will force them to look and see their lives through their unsupported needs. Things are changing, we are changing, and men will have to clean their brain programs they’ve been stuck to. Plus, I never looked for another guy after I met (and was abandoned) by the 1st twin because even if I shine as an angelic being, no man shone for me equally strongly to get interested in. The other appeared to buy things from me in person and then we clicked instantly, he was coming back just to be around me pulled the same way, talking, meeting, shopping and so on. After 2 years we’re still deepening it very slowly and infrequently due to his family situation. I keep myself away from pushing too hard because it never works, but I don’t hold my feelings either. I’ve kept myself single for over 5 years now, including having sex. It probably was very important to stay clean of other people’s energies and karma before I make love with the one who is for me to connect with the biggest love and bliss ever experienced on a cosmic level, that what has been planned in the Universe when things finally align on a bigger scale.

I’ve dealt with a stunning number of my own mind programs and I’ve been turning them off. When you feel anger give a direct order to your body/mind/consciousness - ‘turn off anger’. ‘Turn off jealousy’. ‘Turn off suspicion’. ‘Turn off xyz’. It works like charm! It’s incredible how many triggers can turn on the conditioning and evil responses. Assumptions based on something learnt from lives of others before are the worst kind. Generalizing. Blaming. Feeling guilty of not doing things as they ‘should be done in your age’. Self-criticism and so on. We all live individual stories, none repeats when looked into details. We have to monitor these reactions and thoughts daily as they are triggered by bad energies to make us get further from our lives improvement when we’re already there.

I also started noticing how things work in 5D world. There’s no more hard work needed but visualizing instead which we always knew how and tried to utilize in 3D but then we were failing as the layer of vibration wasn’t supporting that. So many of us abandoned such an activity to replace with hard work and struggling but it’s worth of bringing it back. For example, I sell some used stuff online and for a month nobody buys. So I then look or touch a thing or two and I ask them to be sold. ‘Hey, sell yourself, find a person who needs you’. Or I think of an item in a box. Then I forget about it and move on. Then surprisingly within hours to days somebody buys these items! And it happens more and more as I’ve been observing since 2018, yet I need to practice how to do it because it’s usually spontaneous. It’s like a need meets another need somewhere in the space-time and when they click together, they materialize.

So basically, I’m much eager to follow my twinflame path with another matching man than wait for somebody who can’t decide what they want in life and are not very communicative either. I have to talk. I’m Mars in Gemini and in my 40s. I need action and I can’t delay my own progress while waiting for somebody’s awakening. I studied, corrected, improved, purged, jumped into any transformation I could make, I even became more selfish than before which suits me better as nothing bad happened. Service to self is necessary to keep boundaries and inner harmony, because we always help other people anyway if we only have enough of resources and wish to share.

Numbers I’ve been seeing lately a lot are: 11:11, 23, 33, 44, 55, 56 and 1,2,3,4,5,6,7 through 13:24 (234), 15:46 (456), 17:56 (567) and doubles like 16:16, 12:12, 13:13, 22:22 so on. Some of these are of the Fibonacci sequence, the perfect harmony of evolution and expansion. So even if you feel stuck, all is in motion in the background and the Universe has been building a new base for everyone.

Happy New Year to you all. Things will be clearer from now on and rewards are coming for all hard work we’ve done. Focus on yourself, then those similar in vibration will follow to meet you.