#but is it really gaslighting if its consensual

[dongbangskies]

I made it. 8 months later I made it.

I‘m ready to be gaslit by the Rock Candy Cat-boy.

[harmonysanreads]

Dosis Sola Facit Venenum

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Yandere!Jiaoqiu x Reader

cw(s) : yandere themes, force feeding, drugging, implications of munchausen syndrome, biting, gaslighting, non-consensual touching, intrusive thoughts, victim blaming. read at your own discretion.

「 word count : 900+ 」 「 read on ao3 」

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ Tagging @yandere-romanticaa I did not expect to write Jiaoqiu content so soon TvT

Your naïveté knows no bounds. Pushing, objecting, fighting and defying a phenomenon your senses can't even perceive. Blinded in spite of a functioning vision, immobilized even at the absence of tangible restraints. You protest and mewl and reject, but you're oblivious to what against. It's enough to lure out the claws kept in check, entice them to sink into layers of tender flesh.

Your turned head and stretched palm before his insistent advances are delightful to spectate, so much so the healer can't for once peel his eyes away. “I feel full.”

“Full? From two measly spoons of medicinal stew?” he tilts his head as though to better gauge the increasing pressure between your reddened lips. Blood rushes to and paints your skin in a flush, he can very well predict your next words.

“You call that medicine? It's spicy enough to burn my whole digestive system!” you all-but roar at his placid face, Jiaoqiu gives but a hum in exchange.

The bite of the capsaicin renders you restless, his scheming gaze doing little to soothe your distress. You are a pitiful, confused thing ; aiming your arrows without direction in hopes of eliminating whatever it is that sends you in disarray. A hunter lost in a maze of a forest, soon to lose their titular identity and succumb to the shadows' calling.

Your stare is dumb when his thumb swipes across the residue stew clinging to the corner of your lips, a shudder nearly cracks his facade when his tongue acquaints with the taste.

“Barely stings. If I add any less of a spice than this, it's going to taste like distilled water.”

Jiaoqiu nearly tsks at the way your fingers clench the ends of your garment, it should've been him — not some measly piece of fabric in the clutches of your attention. But the silence that now spreads around the room intrigues him, for once you have nothing sassy to say.

“Whatever. I'm not eating any more of that Jiaoqi—mmph!”

Silly little thing. Cloaking yourself in sickness in order to escape your duties, provoking a famed healer to cure your mystery, non-existent ailment. You're a sinner just as much as you're a sin, bit by agonizing bit, ensnaring his soul in your dainty grasp yet sporting the audacity to not see it. Jiaoqiu knows he could never escape from beneath your fingertips, but he can attempt to seize your flighty little being in a death grip.

There's a scintilla of defiance in your pupils even as his hand grasps your jaw, shining through the discomfort induced by the silver spoon shoving a mouthful of that detestable stew and not relenting until the movement of your throat determines its consumption. Your breaths are stirred in abrupt patterns, titillating the Foxian's interest. You eye his lingering fingers absentmindedly squeezing close the flesh of your cheeks, a few dots of darkness almost blurring your vision.

“Was that necessary?” you bite out vengefully.

“I think I need to cure that attitude of yours before whatever sickness it is that prevents you from doing that one particular work. As for whether this is necessary?” Jiaoqiu's free hand slides down to your right wrist, the fabric of his glove makes unwanted gooseflesh appear on your skin.

“Look at how skinny you're getting. Even an old fox like me could snap this in half and you're whining about me keeping you under observation? You really don't know what's best for yourself.”

You sputter at his pointed words, “I'm not that weak... and I definitely don't need your specialized medicinal stew to cure me—heck, I'm not even actually sick!” you snap with vigor but can't find the energy to snatch back your wrist.

“Oh really?” a squeeze to your cheeks shuts you up, the heat in his orange eyes threaten to engulf the spark still keeping you alight.

“But that's where you're wrong. You are sick and you do need me and my healing art. If you aren't in fact sick, how come you can't even keep your eyes on mine anymore?”

No amount of spice could rival the image that paints itself before him, muscles fighting the pull of slumber and sagging before his voracious gaze. Not even a single coherent word can escape from your heavy tongue and shut lips, no finger vigorous enough to lift against his grabby hands.

Jiaoqiu observes the pliant face in his grasp. The scent of fear and desperation tickles his nose and beckons him closer to the sin, fangs so insistently obscured now sinks on the first bite of his demise. You flinch upon the intrusion of something sharp on the skin of your throat, collapsing to a pair of awaiting arms. Indentions marr the previously flawless canvas, a sheen of saliva shines obscenely and the Foxian is certain he's too far gone.

Your resilience is an infuriating trait, especially in response to the forces that try to weaken the fire in your soul. When one drop of Tumbledust fails, a second is added and if this continues for more than one meal — even the most roaring flame will be rendered suppliant.

The dosage of medicine is an area of caution for any physician, prescribing more than what is necessary can accelerate the erosion of health. But without sickness and ailment, what value does a healer hold? Without the presence of this flame that brightens his stale life, what purpose is there for Jiaoqiu to continue pursuing this existence?

Naïve, pitiful, agonizing, sinful, intoxicating — he'd never run out of adjectives to describe you. You brought him to ruination, and an eternal damnation he'd choose still before the prospect of losing you, too.

[kikitakite]

I saw your callout in the Gale tag for that one user (no comment on them, tho ty for the callout bc i'd seen them in the notes of my fics) and was curious if you could elaborate on some of the Mystra incidents you described towards the end of the post? I'm new to the lore of the setting and find it hard to research (which makes sense given its importance to dnd), so I've heard a lot of conflicting things about Mystra's portrayal in the wider series. No pressure, obviously!

No problem! And yea, I've seen her arguing in the posts of a few people I follow or just Gale-related posts I find interesting. Usually I don't get involved in stuff like this, but I noticed a constant pattern and then all the homophobic shit so I went off a little.

Unfortunately it's hard to find exact examples of the Mystra lore because certain modules aren't very popular or even free to access, but if you're interested the best way to learn about her is by reading the Elminster novels. There's twelve total, dating all the way back to 1994, and they detail Elminster's adventures. I'll be honest though, some of them are a hard read and written through the lens of a man who's admitted very creative, but also has a lot of problematic ideas.

In the first book Elminster is a child. His entire town gets wiped out by mages, thereby making him hostile toward magic. He sneaks into Mystra's temple to deface her statue one night, but she appears before him and basically gaslights him into learning magic and becoming her rare Chosen. He becomes a wizard and cleric basically overnight, until eventually he multiclasses into pretty much every class type in DnD. As you can imagine a lot of players aren't too fond of Elminster, as he's a well known self-insert of the author and pretty annoying to run into during campaigns. None of my dungeon masters like him anyway.

He also becomes one of Mystra's most loyal followers, but she fucks with him over and over, turning him into a woman to teach him a lesson and SLEEPING with him in that form, berating him when he struggles with the torture he endures when he gets stuck in the hells, making him reproduce without his knowledge and getting jealous when he gives his partners more attention. Because she's a very jealous goddess, which I think the game vaguely touches on but not really.

I wish I had the time to flip through all the novels and give exact citations but the best I can do is suggest them, because they're so eye opening. She's considered a neutral good goddess, but neutral gods often do terrible things for the sake of their domain. I think it needs to be noted that Mystra, as with all gods in the pantheon, only cares about her portfolio. She isn't wrong for that, but it doesn't mean she's blameless when she messes with people's lives. She's done a lot of good but she's also made horrible decisions, especially where her followers are concerned.

For example, Elminster having children he doesn't know about. He has a daughter named Narnra. Her conception was... pretty fucked up. Basically a song dragon named Ammaratha Cyndusk was an occasional lover of Elminster's (he has a lot of those because of course he does) and she wanted to bear his child, but since he's a Chosen of Mystra he can control his fertility. Magic birth control, basically. He didn't want a kid so Ammaratha went behind his back to learn a counterspell that would make him fertile during sex. The man she asked refused to teach her because...duh that's messed up, but then Mystra intervened and told him to teach her the spell because she wanted Elminster's "seed to spread". Ammaratha never told him and neither did Mystra. No matter what the reasons, that was NOT consensual on Elminster's part, and it happened two more times, resulting in two more daughters with different women. If I remember correctly Elminster did eventually find out waaaaay later when they were all adults, but it never amounted to anything.

The sisters I was taking about are the Seven Sisters, Mystra's "daughters". And I put "daughters" in quotations because Mystra possessed the body of a woman named Elué and impregnated her without her consent. She slept with the woman's husband (again, while possessing her body) and made them sire seven children. This of course lead to Elué's death because the constant flow of magic in her body was too much for her to handle. Her grieving husband broke after she died and eventually left, abandoning his daughters and earning Mystra's scorn...as if he was in the wrong. The sisters were then orphaned and raised by foster families.

That said, most of the awful things anyone can say about Mystra were the doings of her previous incarnations so ultimately it doesn't apply to the Mystra of BG3. In fact, this third Mystra is supposed to be a new and improved goddess who's nicer to her followers. So her portrayal in BG3 annoyed a lot of DnD fans. I should also point out that Mystra has two types of fans: ones who will defend everything she does, even when it's fucked up beyond all comprehension, and the ones who will tell you she's a true neutral goddess capable of good and bad. I'm the latter. There are plenty examples of Mystra sticking her neck out for innocents, but there's also examples of her doing the most horrendous shit imaginable.

A lot of veteran players, at least the ones I know, are upset with the portrayal of Mystra in BG3 because her plan to end the Absolute is, quite frankly, stupid. Your party is the best chance anyone has of ending the threat, but she asks Gale to nuke himself and possibly tens of thousands, which makes no sense because she could've just sent her mages/clerics to deal with the problem. And there was no guarantee the bomb would've worked anyway. She put all the responsibility on one man and it DEFINITELY comes off as vindictive. That isn't out if character for her but she's not SUPPOSED to be that bad anymore. For a lot of DnD players it felt like she was reverting back to her old habits.

I think there's also a part in the game where you can directly ask Gale why she doesn't just blip the Absolute out of existence and he says something like, "She could but Ao won't allow it." That was also really strange for a lot of veteran players to hear because Gale drops Ao's name like it's nothing. Most people (especially if they're new to the franchise) wouldn't know this but most people in Faerûn don't know who Ao is! Because he wiped people's memories of his existence! I suppose it does make sense for Gale to know that name, since Mystra probably explained the pantheon to him, but it's VERY unlikely tav would know it. So during that conversation all I could picture was tav tilting their head like, "Huh? Who? Whaaa?"

And on top of that......Ao absolutely WOULD allow it because the Absolute effects the Weave and every other god! It had the potential to ruin the balance of the universe, which makes Ao a very angry boy. Balance is one of the ONLY things he cares about. The Dead Three were stealing souls and worshippers, which gods needs to survive, and dying gods disrupts the balance. It's a whole circle of chaos. So the only conclusion left for me to extrapolate is this: Mystra just really, really wanted Gale to kill himself to prove his devotion to her. Which...isn't great. Bad look for her.

It's kind of like how Raphael thinks the Crown of Karsus is going to help him end the Blood War and take over the hells. DnD players laughed during his epilogue because...no it won't lol. He doesn't stand a chance even with the crown. He's arrogant and he's gonna get slapped by his daddy and all the other archdevils, the same way Gale gets slapped by Mystra if he ascends. Even the Absolute ending of the game wouldn't last long because the gods would go to war with the Dead Three, wipe them out and rebuild Faerûn, which has happened many times in past DnD campaigns. Mystra alone has torn worlds apart and glued them back together. The main crisis of BG3 is saving the world you live in or everybody dies. For the gods it's just a Tuesday. I mean look at how Withers owns the Dead Three with a wave of his hand at the end of the game. Mystra COULD'VE killed the Absolute, just as she could've removed the orb from Gale's chest the moment it happened. She just didn't WANT to. She wanted him to die. She wanted him to chastise himself. She wanted him to suffer and come crawling back to her as an obedient follower. She wanted him to learn a harsh and honestly unfair lesson, which is a terrible throwback to her previous incarnations.

[kooktrash]

romantic dreams | jeon jungkook [teaser]

summary: he’s always dreamt of finding his soulmate in some romantic way, bells ringing, birds chirping, maybe even a shine of light over their head. he never imagined to find them living next door to him with absolutely no clue to the extent of the growing infatuation he has toward you until it’s a little too late. hypnotized by your entire existence he finds his dreams and delusions of love to be a little too intense for anyone to bear.

➣ genre/au: yandere jungkook x reader [she/her, female anatomy], neighbors au, smut, angst

STORY POSTED

➣ 1.4k words

warnings: yandere. smut. jk is obsessed and a stalker. toxic. manipulation. gaslighting. he’s a gym rat who listens to deftones, nirvana, korn, pierce the veil, etc. he watches y/n through cameras. delusional jk. he’s intimidating and a huge asshole to everyone but y/n—like genuinely not a good person lol but he has nipple piercings and a six pack. goth jk. calvin klein jk. y/n is strong minded and a bit cruel at times. dom/sub/switch themes but not intense. rough, passionate sëx. mornings to come. no dubcon/noncon, fully consensual

song inspo: tempest — deftones, and i love her — kurt cobain, blvd. nights — team sleep, new magic wand — tyler, the creator [highly recommend listening so you can get what kind of character Jungkook is]

jungkook’s moodboard | y/n’s moodboard

There was a quickening pace to his heart. Sweat dripped down his forehead that he wiped away with his forearm as he looked at his friend through the mirrored wall. Just behind them he had a clear view of some woman looking at them. His friend noticed her too, “She’s had her eye on you for a while now.”

Jungkook didn’t say anything as he switched with Namjoon and laid down. Namjoon made sure to spot him as he began to bench press, muscles bulging with each set he did.

“I’m serious, man, and she’s hot,” Namjoon looked behind him to catch the girl running on the treadmill as her gaze shifted shyly at being caught. He was getting a little pissed that his friend does not care that he’s being eye fucked at the gym.

This was just like Jungkook too, he never showed any sign of interest in anything. He always had a bored expression on his face like he was waiting for something worth his while to happen. Namjoon’s learned to get over it because if Jungkook didn’t like hanging out with him then they wouldn’t be friends. Jungkook isn’t the type to waste his breath reassuring things like that and he definitely does not waste his time thinking of someone.

If Namjoon got half as many women checking him out as Jungkook does, he would find a girlfriend in no time—but no, he has to stand to aside and watch his friend pay absolutely no attention to any woman who expressed even the slightest hint of interest in him. Maybe he has to applaud Jungkook for this, he seems to have standards and sticks to them because in their years long friendship he’s only met one of his girlfriend’s before. He was extremely private about his sex life too so they never shared any locker room talk and Namjoon has just learned that’s how he is.

“Should we do one more?” Jungkook asked as he placed the dumbbell back into its holders and sat up panting. He looked behind him just slightly and caught sight of the bleached blond on the treadmill. She hasn’t taken his eyes off since she got here and it’s really starting to piss him off.

“Sure,” Namjoon said, switching Jungkook, “I don’t get how you seem to just ignore every woman who looks at you.”

Jungkook looked down at him as Namjoon caught a good grip on the dumbbell, “I wouldn’t disrespect the person I’m seeing by entertaining someone else.”

Namjoon nearly dropped the dumbbell on himself as he jumped up to a sitting position and looked at his friend dumbfounded, “You’re seeing someone?”

That made the corners of Jungkook’s lips turn upward and he tried to bite back a smile, his dimples still showed. Namjoon was no longer sitting and it seemed like the end of their workout so he began to clean the equipment. Jungkook cleared his throat, “Sort of.”

Wordlessly, they began to leave toward the locker room and Jungkook walked right past the blond without sparing her a single glance. He smiled, “Y/n.”

“Huh?” Namjoon asked, “Is that who you’re sort of seeing?”

“Mhm,” Jungkook nodded with a smile that had Namjoon surprised. He very rarely sees this much emotion from Jungkook and compared to his usual cool exterior, this was a bit unsettling. The two went straight for their lockers as they took their gym bags out and got ready to leave. Namjoon cleared his throat, “Do you have a picture? I need a visual of who this person is.”

It was just so sudden after he had these thoughts of how Jungkook showed absolutely no interest in anyone and kept his sex life extremely private. Namjoon always thought it was just because he was a womanizer and didn’t feel like bragging about all the women he’s seeing. It is just surprising that all of a sudden Jungkook would show so much emotion bringing someone up.

Jungkook didn’t give him an answer aside from fishing his phone out of his pocket and immediately showing him his lock screen. Namjoon looked at the picture clearly.

“Wow,” Namjoon said with, “Now I see why you don’t bat an eye at anyone else.”

It was a good candid photo of you, like you didn’t even know it was being taken of you. You were sitting outside having dinner and it was a perfect snapshot of your smile. You were looking at something off camera but Namjoon did have to admit that you were very attractive.

He missed the way Jungkook’s eyes darkened the longer Namjoon looked at your picture and decided to lock his phone and put it away, “Ready?”

“Yeah,” Namjoon said as he grabbed his car keys while Jungkook grabbed his and his helmet, “So why haven’t I met this Y/n, yet?”

Jungkook wasn’t smiling anymore but Namjoon couldn’t see it as he walked behind him, “You know I like things kept private.”

“I mean yeah but… I don’t know, you’ve never brought her up before. When did you start seeing her?” Namjoon asked just trying to have a casual conversation with Jungkook before they split up.

“I said sort of.”

“What?”

“Earlier you asked me if I was seeing Y/n and I said sort of,” Jungkook said with a tightened smile, “No need to bring anyone around yet.”

Namjoon didn’t have a chance to say much after that, Jungkook got on his motorcycle and left with a little wave. This felt like news of the century, Jungkook very rarely smiles the way he smiled when he first brought you up.

Who were you exactly?

You took a deep breath as you unlocked your front door and walked into a pitch black apartment. The light flickered on behind you and a small fluff curled around legs the second you were inside.

“Armani!” Your friend said with a soft gasp as he bent down to pick up the gray Siberian feline. Your cat let Taehyung pick him up and walk him around your living room as you put your things away.

“Looks like your neighbor’s home,” Taehyung pointed out as he stood near the window of your apartment. Armani hopped out of his arms and onto his scratching post where he usually lounged in for naps. “You think he watches you sleep?”

“Shut up,” you told him with a roll of your eyes, “Do you want a drink?”

“Soju?” Taehyung asked with a cheeky grin before looking back to the window, “And you know I’m joking… I’m just saying though, he always has his curtains drawn and sometimes I catch him looking over here.”

“All that’s telling me is that I need to stop inviting you over,” you said as you grabbed a bottle of Soju and a bowl of chips. You couldn’t help but look out your window.

Your neighbor was an attractive man. He had a sleeve of tattoos and a broad chest, a six pack and… nipple piercings. It’s not you’re a creep or anything but he likes to lounge around his living room and bedroom without a shirt on and his curtains open. Sometimes he would step out of the shower with only a tattoo around his small waist as he looked for clothes in his bedroom and you would have to immediately close your curtains so you weren’t a peeping Tom.

He moved in a few weeks ago and since then you’ve found yourself battling over the fact that you’ll never attract a man as gorgeous as him no matter what Taehyung says. Since the beginning Taehyung has believed that your neighbor seems to have a liking toward you.

Your best friend is over at your place more often than not and he’s noticed some things. For instance, the day he moved in Taehyung was over and like the nosy neighbor you were, the two of you stared out the window and watched him unload boxes. Taehyung swears he saw a look in your neighbor’s eyes that immediately disappeared when he saw he was there too.

Then, there was that time when you were having dinner with your friends. Taehyung pointed out seeing your neighbor and how close he was sitting outside and you just brushed it off. He lives in your neighborhood now, that means he mostly frequented the same restaurants as you. He also notes every time your neighbor seems to glance out the window toward your place but you don’t think anything of it. These apartments have poor lighting and the only way you get natural light is by having the windows open. In truth, Taehyung has watched way too many true crime documentaries and has gotten a bit paranoid.

“Whatever,” Taehyung sighed, “I’m just saying, it wouldn’t hurt you to give him a little show and see if you’ll get laid.”

::.

okok im in the mood for a somewhat yandere Jk bc im still obsessed with his calvin klein shoot. idk this probs isn’t everyone’s cup of tea but it’s mine so 🤭

RELEASE DATE TO BE DETERMINED

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[let-roman-bite-someone]

so remember that gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss post i made about the dark sides? a lot of people said i should swap Janus and Remus because Janus fit the gaslighting part a lot more. and you know me, i love to overanalyze things so let me just talk about this.

yes, Janus is the liar. he is the embodiment of deceit. and with the usage of “gaslight” spreading on the internet, a lot of people don’t seem to know its exact meaning and they just misuse it. nowadays, the general consensus is that any type of lying is automatically gaslighting. your friend told you that she was at home when really she was out all night partying? gaslighting. the cashier at your local coffee shop told you that they don’t accept cash? gaslighting. some guy in the street looked at you? GASLIGHTING.

as a psych student, this trend is driving me crazy. gaslighting isn’t just lying. it’s the act of intentionally making another person question their reality or sanity.

gaslighting: psychological manipulation of a person usually over an extended period of time that causes the victim to question the validity of their own thoughts, perception of reality, or memories and typically leads to confusion, loss of confidence and self-esteem, and uncertainty of one's emotional or mental stability.

it is a form of manipulation that doesn’t necessarily involve lying. yes, in most cases, gaslighting involves lying or greatly exaggerating the truth. but even though lying is associated with gaslighting, they are not the same thing.

and in Thomas’ case specifically, Janus never makes Thomas question his own sanity. he makes Thomas question the morals he believes in and his idea of selflessness, and that was a good thing.

REMUS however. HOO BOY.

in just ONE episode, Remus manages to make Thomas think that he is mentally unstable and capable of being a serial criminal. Virgil quite literally decides that Thomas is in complete control of his thoughts and is therefore mentally deranged and dangerous.

this was quite literally the entire plot of DWIT, the fact that Thomas begins questioning his sanity because of the intrusive thoughts that Remus put into his head. Remus keeps telling Thomas that his intrusive thoughts were an indicator of his morals and his sanity. i think it’s safe to say that Remus is indeed the gaslighter among all the sides.

of course, that’s only if you view the sides as individual characters and not parts of Thomas himself. practically speaking, you cannot gaslight yourself, even if social media says that you can. and at the end of the day, Remus does have a purpose as one of Thomas’ sides and i’m not making a statement on whether he’s good or evil.

i guess you could put it this way: Remus is the product of gaslighting.

in a way, at least. Thomas’ religious views fed him lies about actions being a precursor to thought, and that is what brought about this whole conflict.

so yeah, Remus is a better candidate for gaslighting than Janus is. i rest my case.

[planetwaynez]

OBSESSION

Dark!Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Notes: I wrote this as a writing exercise and this is the fic of the pool I did a few weeks ago! I am really happy to be putting this out there, honestily I don't know if its truly good but I got to explore a side of my brain I don't visit too often sooo it was fun.

WARNINGS: SMUT! stalking behavior, toxic thoughts, toxic behavior, explicit sex scene, non consensual recording, crude words, dumbfication, gaslighting, and this is heavily inspired by OBSESSION By EXO! If there is anything I didn't put in here pls dm about and I will add!

Words: 3,4k

Synopsis: Jason is obsessed. And he won't ever let you go.

Jason wasn't very fond of not being in control. He always knew that he thrives when the control of things is in his hands, however his little dove seems to forget that every time. 

He watches his little dove apply lipstick, her friends gossiping while getting ready and some pop song on the speaker. His little dove knows the rules, but apparently she's taking advantage of him not being home to discipline her for her bad behavior. 

She's giggling about some joke that one of her friends told and Jason fists his hand. He shouldn't be jealous but he can't stop thinking about his little dove at some frat party tonight and him not being around. 

He zooms in on the image and takes a good look at his pretty girl, Jason takes a deep breath and thank God that his girl has a pretty face, not a smart brain to figure it out the cameras he put in her apartment months before he even asked her out. Rationality he knows that he should've taken the cameras out once they started dating but he didn't feel like it, Jason enjoys watching his girl when he's away on some mission and she doesn't know, which can't hurt her. Only make her safer, because like this he's always around. 

She's wearing a black little dress and heavy make up with red lipstick, her hair styled to perfection and wearing high heels and for a moment Jason considered going back home in one of his dad's private jets, but his sense of responsibility didn't allow him. Nevertheless that doesn't mean he can't find a way to keep his girl at home, under his eyes for one more night before he finishes his part of the job and goes home to her.

Jason clicks his tongue, creating a devilish plan to keep her home. Fast and easy.

He grabs his phone and dials his little doves number, he watches as she grabs her phone and leaves the bedroom to take his call at the bathroom, she smiles at the screen before picking up. Something very important about Jason's and his pretty doves relationship is that she doesn't know a lot about him or how they crossed paths. But she doesn't need to know any of that, the only thing in his little dove's head all the time should be him and nothing else. 

"Hey, baby!" She greets happily and for a second Jason feels bad about what he's going to do, but he can't stop himself. He needs control, he craves it. All the time, especially with her. 

"Hey, sweetheart" she beams and Jason wants to grab her and never let go. "How you doing?"

"Great! Going out with the girls tonight!" Jason suppressed a growl, not wanting to show the bad parts of himself to his girl. Not yet at least. 

"Really? I thought you had a big paper to deliver tomorrow" he's not lying, per se. He knows the paper is only due in two days but he will make her believe that's not the case.

"No, silly! It's only in two days" she's twisting a piece of her hair in her index finger, clearly flirting with him even when he's not in the same space as her. He loves that.

"Little dove, I believe that it's tomorrow… but if you want to go out tonight anyway you can go, it's your grades we are talking about" he can see the tension in her shoulders as he speaks, her demeanor changing drastically from one moment to another. 

"But Jace… I truly think that only due in two days, it's in my calendar" now his little dove is uncomfortable but he can make her feel better once he's back home. Right now she needs to understand that her place tonight and every night when Jason is not home is on the couch, watching Gilmore Girls.

"Princess" He uses that condensed tone Bruce always used with him when wanting to convince Jason of something. He hates it, but it is efficient. "Remember that time you wrote down the date wrong for that big project of yours? You doing it again" 

Her shoulders drop and she sighs and he knows that she's wrapped around his finger forever. She's staying home. 

"My God, you are right" she nods, as if he could see it. Well, he can but she doesn't need that information. "I am staying home but I feel bad for ditching the girls though."

Y/N plays with one of the decorative objects of her bathroom, thinking about how she's telling her friends she's staying and not going to the commemorative party of the basketball team tonight. 

"I bet they will understand, baby" Jason hopes they don't. Those girls want to take his precious jewelry from his hands and he won't allow it. 

"Yeah, you are right. As usual" she giggles and he feels his chest warm up at the sound. He misses her.

"I have to go, baby, they are calling me to finish a few papers" he lies through his teeth, Jason just wants to get rid of the bunch of girls before his little dove changes her mind. "Text you later, ok?"

"Ok, love, till later." And she hangs up, looking miserable. Jason knows how much she wanted to go to this party, and that's exactly why he can't allow it. What if she finds someone else? What if she gets in danger? What if she leaves him? He would have to take drastic decisions if any of those scenarios happened. So it's better if she's home safe.

Jason watches as she tells her friends she won't go and watches as her friends get disappointed with her but they obviously won't comment about it. Happily he watches them go away and his girl getting ready to bed, taking the provocative dress off and the heavy make up and put on cute pajamas and sit down on her desk to finish her project on her computer. 

He smiles, feeling way more light now. Jason decided to reward his little dove for her good behavior. 

The man takes a long shower and lets his mind wander to his sweet girl under him, moaning his name and clenching around his cock. He groans and finishes his shower, stopping in front of the mirror with a white towel wrapped around his hips and his hair wet, Jason takes a picture and sends it to his girl.

He goes back to his laptop, watching Y/N's reaction to his text, her breathing gets faster and she bites her lips, smiling a little. 

See, he thinks, so much better like this isn't, honey? 

His phone bips and he opens her text. 

Little Dove: all this for me? 

Jason: it's always for you 

Jason: can't wait to get home to you

Y/N smiles, wide enough to make her eyes close a little bit with the action. She snaps a picture of her, sitting at her desk and sends it to Jason, who is already smiling and looking at her pretty face mesmerized. 

Little Dove: miss u a lot

Jason: tomorrow morning I will be home with you

And just like that Jason goes to bed with the goal to finish his job early and get to his girl.

……..

The sun is slipping through the curtains and Y/N wakes up with a frown. She doesn't like when the sun wakes her up before the alarm but when she feels a heavy arm around her waist her mind goes from fuzzy to alert in a second. She takes a few moments to register the smell of oak and cigarettes, but when she does she relaxes and turns around, looking at Jason's sleepy face.

"Baby!" She calls and Jason opens his eyes. He is really good at pretending, he realizes, because she doesn't even realize that he's been awake all this time, just watching her. 

Since he got home, he's been just admiring his girl and thinking about the unspeakable things he's going to do to her once she wakes up. Now she's awake and, technically, he is too. 

"When did you get here?" Always curious, always wanting to know more than she should, however, Jason always has a good, well curated story to tell her that it's not the truth.

"I got here around five in the morning" she smiles, hugging him and inhaling his scent, almost purring at the feeling. 

That's the truth she needs but the reality is that last night Jason finished his part of the job and landed in Gotham at midnight, but she was still awake finishing her project, so he waited and kept an eye on her through the window, from across the street, sitting on the rooftop of the other building. When she slept, at two in the morning he got out of the rooftop and slipped into her bed.

"Missed you so much" Jason says, holding her neck and taking her face away from his chest, to properly look at her. 

"Me too, Jace" her eyes are shining and he just has to kiss her, to touch her to feel complete, to feel in control again.

So that's what he does. Jason grabs his little dove's neck, squeezing the sides maybe a little too roughly, but he doesn't pay attention to her little whine, only focusing on her lips. When he crashes his lips onto hers, he growls low in his throat, relishing in the feeling of his girl on him.

Their lips move in synchrony with each other, their tongues touching desperately, full of passion and that feeling that none of them can quite describe with words.

Jason's free hand roams over her body, stopping at her ass and squeezing it hard enough to make her moan against his lips. That fuels the fire inside him, that fire that only his sweet, oblivious little dove can satiete with her skin, her lips and her pretty moans. He pins her to the bed, rolling his hips against hers, making both of them whimper and take deep breaths, separating their lips for a moment.

Y/N takes that moment to look into her boyfriend's eyes, the teal is consumed by the black of its pupils and she can see it. The affection, the desire, the possessiveness. And she loves it all, she wants more of it. 

Jason smirks, knowing that she's seeing in his eyes is exactly what he wants her to see. Gently he squeezes her neck again, bringing her back to the front of her mind, back to him.

His other hand goes from her ass cheek to her waist, inside her shirt and feeling warm skin against his, little dove closes her eyes, savoring the moment, the feeling of Jason's calloused hands on her soft belly, climbing to her breast, to touch it gently, just to the next moment be grabbed and the nipple twisted. Y/N moans, loudly and sweetly. 

Jason bites his lips, hiding a smile, one that would scare her off. One of his big, psychotic smiles, the one that makes his mask of a good and caring boyfriend be exactly what it is, a mask. The real Jason is fucked in the head, he's controlling and possessive, a little psychotic too. But, he thinks, she doesn't need to know that.

"Yes… just like that, Jace" she says, preening as Jason's lips kisses her jaw and her neck. He takes her shirt off and kisses softly her breasts, sucking her nipples in his mouth, one by one, taking care of the sensitive skin with care and attention. 

Every stroke of his tongue, every suck of his mouth on her skin and nipples, every flick of his wrist in one of her nipples has a reaction from her. A moan, a whimper, a sigh. 

He loves all of them and he could spend all day worshiping her breasts, however, Jason is thinking about one thing. 

Getting his mouth on his little dove's sweet pussy. 

The men descends his ministrations over her body, his hands grabbing, squeezing and caressing what he can, when he finally gets at her shorts, he takes it off alongside her panties, smiling at the sight in front of him. 

Her pretty pussy glistened to him and him only. He takes her tights on his hands and puts over his shoulders, looking up at her, that is already looking at him in anticipation. 

"What is it, baby?" Jason taunts, knowing that will make her weaker for him. "Need something?"

She whines, fisting the sheets and throwing her head back in frustration. 

"Yes" she says and Jason arches an eyebrow, smirking.  

"And what is that?" He asks again, but before she could answer him, Jason licks her pussy, from hole to clit, making Y/N moan. "It 's my tongue?" He teases, smiling wide, in that psychotic way since she's not looking at him, but at the selling. "Or my fingers?" Two tick fingers thrust inside her warm pussy, getting Jason the best reward. 

Her moaning his name, loudly. 

"Yes! I need both!" Jason doesn't answer her with words, just dives in her pussy, licking, sucking and fucking her with his finger until she's arching her back and crying, just a little bit. Just enough to feed his ego.

Y/N smiles feeling full and delighted with the attention her boyfriend is giving her. He is always so thoughtful,  she thinks, he would never harm me. 

But that's not the reality, Jason would never harm her, per se, but he would find ways to always be her priority and never let others take space in her life. 

Jason can feel his cock against the fabric of his boxers, hyper aware of it. He holds himself back to not start dry humping the bed, the only place he's coming  is inside his little dove. 

Her little cries and moans are getting louder with each thrust of his finger and flick of his tongue, her walls clenching around his fingers and making his head dizzy. Knowing that he had such power and control over her made him feel important, cared and loved. Jason didn’t need anything else when he had his little dove naked and pliant for him at any time he felt like having her.

“Jace!” His name was like a chant in her tongue when she came all over his face and fingers, making Jason moan in delight. He loved when she was messy and needy, and tonight she was just like how he liked. 

Softly, Jason kisses her thighs, going up to her tummy and her breasts, soaking himself in her scent and in her soft skin against his scarred and calloused one. He kissed and nipped at her neck, tangling one of his hands in her hair, making her close her eyes and whimper softly at his touches. 

“Is my baby dumb already?” he asked, watching her face carefully because even though he loved to break her and bring the pieces back together he needed to know when he was too close to make her break for good. And he didn’t want that, he wanted her pliant and soft, not broken and traumatized. That’s why he lied so much, for her own good.

She sniffs, her eyes glossy and her lips red and puffy from kissing him and biting it when he was eating her out. “Baby I need you to answer me or I can’t give you my cock” he pouts, fake sympathy in his voice making her whine and cry a little, squirming in his hold.

“No! I am not dumb” her eyes aren’t quite focusing and she is flooded with emotions that only Jason can’t subside. “I need you cock, Jace!” she says, lips wobbling and legs spreading wide for him, her pussy clenching around nothing and leaking her juices.

Jason smiles, his eyes shining with something dark, uncontrolled and quite feral. Even if his little dove denied, Y/N was already cock drunk - and he didn’t even get inside her, yet. 

“I will give you what you want” he caresses her hair, thinking about permanently kipping her inside this apartment, never letting her go again. But he loves her way too much to scare her. “everything my baby wants, my baby gets”

Slowly, Jason traced his cock along her pussy, making her moan and squirm. He loves the feeling of his cock sliding against her pussy, the way it makes her get a little dumbier each time. Just to tease her, and himself a little, Jason pushes the thick head of his cock inside her greedy pussy, watching with a cruel happiness the way she moans loud and tries to hook her legs around his waist, to bring him closer, deeper.

He pushes away from her delicately, listening to her whimpers and whines, making his cock throb and ache for her. 

“Ask nicely” he demands, his face contorted into an evil smirk she can’t see, her eyes closed in agony and her lips red from biting. Her hands are holding his biceps and her nails are digging into his skin, making the pain get mixed with pleasure. The head of his cock sits still inside her.

“Please, Jace! please, please, please!” Y/N doesn’t have one coherent thought inside her head, the only thing she can think about is her boyfriend cock and how much she needs it. 

“So pretty,” he says, stroking her clit in a tourtours slow pace, her pussy clenching and throbbing. “Who does this pretty pussy belong to?”

“To you, Jace! Only you!” a wolfish grin spreads through Jason's lips, making him look like some sort of devil looking at its new offering. 

“Good girl” he says, pushing everything inside Y/N at once, making her scream and hook her legs around him, a part of his weight resting on her. He smiles when she throws her arms around his shoulders, scratching his back with each hard and slow thrust of his hips against hers.

“Such a good girl… taking my cock so well” she mewls, her eyes rolling to the back of her head and Y/N swears she can feel her heart trying to get out of her chest and jump into Jason’s. 

His cock is delicious, every thrust, every grunt he makes, drives her even further into bliss, her thighs and pussy gripping him and not willing to let go. The sound of skins slapping against skin and his balls hitting her ass makes her even more out of breath, out of her mind. She can’t think straight, she doesn't want that and if she could she would spend the rest of her days with Jason’s cock deep inside her needy and greedy pussy, stretching her out so well that she bubbles a incoherent mess of words every time he is inside her. 

“Look at you,” he says, holding her face in one of his big calloused hands, making her stare at him and his lust filled eyes. “already close to cumming again, little dove?”

“yes' ' she whines, rolling her eyes and relising in the way his broad chest presses against her sensitive tits. 

“You can cum baby” Jason buries his face on her neck, loving the way she smells, driving him even more insane. “cum all over my cock”

His little dove didn't need to be told twice, she came all over his thick cock, loving the way she was feeling in the clouds in his arms. Jason growls, her pussy gripping him too tight, driving him to his orgasm and filling her up to the brim. 

They look each other in the eye, and she smiles softly, waking up his soft side along. He smiles back, resting his forehead against hers. 

They cuddle, smile and talk about everything and anything, she just doesn’t know that now everytime Jason left for a mission he would have their sext tape. And she also didn’t know that he sended a few of his men to disappear with her bad influence of friends. 

She doesn’t need them and eventually, she will understand because eventually she will only need him.

He smiles, that smile that he never lets her see. The one that is just a little psychotic and looks at her sleeping form. 

His.

Forever his.

Even if she tries not to be.

Jason will never let her go. 

[refeminizeme]

hey yall, i was here, went 2 @re--feminize-me m i was having some tech issues on my other acct and decided 2 give this one another shot!!!

Mandatory disclaimer that transphobia in real life sucks and so does misogyny etc and i dont condone pretty much anything on this blog if its not in a consensual kink context, obviously. If this content triggers you pls block me.

_______________________________________________

kink list

loves

forcefem/feminization!!!!!!!

bondage esp sh1bari

brainwashing/conditioning/mind control

bimboification/dumbification

hypnosis!!!!!

breathplay (incl. being choked and more)

dp

edging & denial

sensory deprivation ♡

humiliation

consensual blackmailing but only w ppl i REALLY trust

gaslighting/manipulation (consensually and negotiated first, and only w the right person so dont do this right out the gate)

likes

cnc (if in the mood, with the right person i trust, etc)

breeding/sometimes pregnancy

spirals

intox (consensually and for the right person)

degradation in very specific like, um, ways??? like um, i like sweet degradation.

exhibitionism but like um, im not like, TOOOOO into this its a minor kink for me

misogyny kink

hucow

curious about

lactation

will update as i like, think of more???? if u think of anything not on this list ask me about it n like, it just may get added hahahahahaha

hard limits

findom/me

v0mit

watersports/scat

cgl/ddlg/daddy dom anything

age/re

alternate personality stuff/anything related to that

feet

body shaming, esp weight related

weight control/eating disorder stuff

racism/racist slurs/etc

any kind of inc3st including daddy/mommy as a title

ass to mouth in any capacity

rimming (giving)

_______________________________________________

some of my hypnotic triggers im like, willing 2 share publicly:

dr*p and sle*p - some obvious ones, put me into a trance

deeper and deeper - makes me go deep real fast if used after dr*p and/or sle*p

thr*b - makes me really horny and makes my cunt, well, throb

edge esp in all caps/bolded - makes me immediately reach an edge and if im touching i HAVE 2 stop until the edge has passed

like a go0d girl - makes me want to obey whatever precedes it

submit/surrender - makes me feel very obedient n like, submissive

tr*th - makes my subconscious answer a question without my conscious mind being aware of it and i will immediately forget answering the question after

(these are censored so i can read them without accidentally... yk. but use the actual word in asks if u wanna use them!!!!)

_______________________________________________

i occasionally make detr4ns/misgen/bimbofication files (you can find them here!!) but im primarily a sub.

I've been listening to hypnosis for like 3-4 years and this is like, how ive turned out bc of it???? I really am detransitioning n becoming the best bimbo i CAN be irl this is not like, ENTIRELY a fantasy for me but i dont like, condone this stuff outside of a consensual kink context to be clear. ask me abt it if ur confused lol

I used to be ftm and hypnosis fixed my brain ♡ now to fix my body lmaooooooo

my tits are like,,,, soooo big omg. last i posted abt them on this blog they were a DDD/F cup and now theyre an i or j cup depending on the day??????? i like, hope they keep getting bigger 😳😳

also fwiw i AM a bigger girl, which like, means dont expect me to be the waifish manic pixie dream girl many guys like, seem to expect??? My icon + header are both me so that shld give u an idea of what to expect from my pics.

Also i do "commissions" for pics, audio, videos/gifs, etc just lmk what ur looking for n im sure we can arrange smth!! For those interested I also also have a gdrive folder of my fave nüdes (23 pics, 2 vids, n a gif) for whatever u think is a reasonable donation ♡ I'm trying to raise money for several fun detrans things so I'm like,,, open to negotiation on that. DM me if any of that interests you!!

Alternatively, follow me on Loverfans here, for free (lewd content) or $5 a month (the good stuff) ♡ Easy peasy.

also, im in a polyamorous relationship and if i like you we can play, but dont start off with either "hi" (boring) or "hello slut throb" etc like.... straight up you need to treat me like a person first before ill let you treat me like a toy.

[chaifootsteps]

Maybe this is weird for me to say but with how things are, I’m okay with how stolas is behaving now?

Hear me out. I think it’s too late to try and turn it into “love” and the story to me at least, is more compelling when stolas is increasingly abusive and horrible. With the audience confused by the contradiction between his romantic ideals and his abusive actions. That’s what abusers do, they confuse.

The thought of “is he really going to get away with this?” “Is he right or is he wrong?” keeps me watching and it is interesting to see his true dark, cruel, nasty side slowly start to come out. The turmoil he creates in Blitzø is compelling but absolutely not from a romantic slant. It makes you wonder if Blitzø will sacrifice himself for this man. This relationship is what Valentino and Angel Dust could have been. When stolas weepily shouts about all the times he’s “tried so hard to support (blitz), to spend time with (blitz)” how he “can’t just ignore all that” It’s gaslighting him. Saying that bringing up his abusiveness is ungrateful. “When have I ever hit you or called you a slur? You’re ignoring all the sacrifices I’ve made to support you. All the expensive gifts I bought you!” (Not a quote but an example)

Imagine if the audience was as conflicted about them? If Valentino had endured his own abuse by a pimp, and made Angel feel guilty over it and then minimise his own as Val just being “traumatised” And if all the times Valentino was abusive, both Angel Dust and us, are confused as to whether it was real or a paranoid hallucination caused by the drugs (a side effect of excessive PCP - his drug of choice.) that would be a very creative way to incorporate the drug into this story. Making you second guess yourself. Stolas chains Blitzø to him using a burden of guilt, if Valentino did the same he’d be terrifying.

Come to find out that the drugs are caused by Val spiking Angel dusts food, and his abuse was caught on one of Voxs spy cameras, proving its reality.

Rewrite aside, I don’t think it’s too late for medrano to turn this into a compelling, conflicting, and tragic story of intimate partner abuse.

Oh no, I agree 100%. Stolas descending into his worst impulses and just becoming the tragic monster he's been from the beginning is something I would be completely behind. To do that, however, Viv would have to abandon her dubiously consensual yaoi love story and she's shown no signs of being willing to do that. But if she pulls a trick card out of her sleeve and does it, hey, credit where credit is due!

[re--feminize-me]

hey yall, i was @re-feminizeme and unfortunately i cant log into my old acct on my new phone so i made a new one!!!

Mandatory disclaimer that transphobia in real life sucks and so does misogyny etc and i dont condone pretty much anything on this blog if its not in a consensual kink context, obviously. If this content triggers you pls block me.

loves

forcefem/feminization!!!!!!!

bondage esp shibari

brainwashing/conditioning/mind control

hypnosis!!!!!

breathplay

double penetration

edging & denial

being choked

likes

cnc (if in the mood)

breeding

bimbofication/dumbification

gaslighting/manipulation

spirals

being drugged (consensually and for the right person), esp. aphrodisiacs

degradation in very specific like, um, ways??? like um, i like sweet degradation.

exhibitionism but like um, im not like, TOOOOO into this its a minor kink for me

misogyny kink (which like, seems 2 be getting stronger lately fsr????)

curious about

lactation

hucow

consensual blackmailing

will update as i like, think of more???? if u think of anything not on this list ask me about it n like, it just may get added hahahahahaha

hard limits

findom/me

vomit

watersports/scat

cgl/ddlg/daddy dom anything

age regression

alternate personality stuff/anything related to that

feet

body shaming, esp weight related

weight control

racism/racist slurs/etc

any kind of incest including daddy/mommy as a title

ass to mouth in any capacity

rimming (giving)

I'm picky about who i like, chat with, um, but playing is a possibility if i like u 😳 feel free to send me asks/anons tho i always luv getting those ♡♡♡♡

_______________________________________________

some of my hypnotic triggers im like, willing 2 share publicly

dr*p and sle*p - some obvious ones, put me into a trance

deeper and deeper - makes me go deep real fast if used after dr*p and/or sle*p

throb - makes me really horny and makes my cunt, well, throb

edge esp in all caps/bolded - makes me immediately reach an edge and if im touching i HAVE 2 stop until the edge has passed

like a good girl - makes me want to obey whatever precedes it

submit/surrender - makes me feel very obedient n like, submissive

tr*th - makes my subconscious answer a question without my conscious mind being aware of it and i will immediately forget answering the question after

_______________________________________________

i occasionally make detrans/misgendering/bimbofication files (you can find them here!!) but im primarily a sub.

I've been listening to hypnosis for like 3-4 years and this is like, how ive turned out bc of it???? I really am detransitioning n becoming the best bimbo i CAN be irl this is not like, ENTIRELY a fantasy for me. ask me abt it??

my tits are like,,,, soooo big omg. last i posted abt them on my old blog they were a DDD/F cup and now theyre an i cup??????? i like, hope they keep getting bigger 😳😳

[wilcze-kudly]

"she really struggles with adopting their philosophies and their morals. I don't know if she'll ever be fully able to grasp them" - about Opal

Thoughts on how Tenzin and his kids expect every new airbender (who as he rightfully said didn't choose to become airbenders) to adopt their philosophies and their diet etc?

To me it felt like you can learn airbending from me but you need to be a pacifist etc. Especially because I kind of think them being pacifists was also what gave the Fire Nation advantage (together with the comet if I remember correctly) when Aang was 12 and the airbenders were attacked.

I personally thought they'd kinda let that aspect go because they were nearly wiped out. I might be looking at it totally wrong though, so what are your thoughts? (I'm a different anon from the one I quoted from)

Hmmm... that's a tough one.

I mean, in the show we saw Tenzin attempt to teach some of the new airbenders old Air Nomad philosophies and he did also shave that one guy's head lol.

In the Avatar lore, airbending is very tied to spirituality, and focusing on more material things can lead to airbending weakening significantly, I believe we see an example of this in the Kyoshi Novels. We don't, however, know if the same rules apply to post Harmonic Convergence airbenders.

It seems that a lot of the modern airbenders do eventually settle into some semblance of the old Air Nomad lifestyle, meditating and travelling, just like their forebearers. I assume that adherence to the more... restricting customs is optional. For example, sex segregation seems to have been done away with completely, and I assume that "modern" airbenders will probably maintain more nuclear family dynamics rather than raising children as a community.

Pacifism seems to be still a big part of airbender culture, but it seems to appear as more of a "don't throw the first punch" kind of thing. However we see that there don't seem to be an exact consensus on what exactly warrants retaliation. For example Opal getting admonished for *checks notes* wanting to rescue her family members from a facist who is currently laying siege to their city. (Still absolutely hysterical over Korra and Jinora teaming up to gaslight Opal that this isn't a good reason for violence)

I think it's inevitable that the culture clash of new airbenders from the other nations all interacting will probably lead to different sects and groups splintering off, probably mixing the philosophies of their original nation with those of the Air Nomads.

I think Opal may be one of those people that mixes her Earth Kingdom heritage with her newfound love for Airbending and some of its values.

But honestly, I don't think we have that much info on how new airbenders were handled past the initial months in B3. Shame.

[1yyyyyy1]

it hurts so much being told by women that I'm not a victim after I express what this world does to women since the beginning even what other women do to individual women... These women were rf aligned... So they think that women are always the victims until its... Me? Because I'm "blackpilled" how can someone be this vile. Women were enslaved since the beginning of times and all other women co create our enslavement. I've been abused taunted gaslighted punished bullied ridiculed terrorised yet im not a victim? But other women always are?

How can women be this cruel while pretending to have virtue? All their tone policing must be secretly sadistic because its literally oppressive. They are like a curse to me at this point. How can creatures this filthy exist. Women are even naturally misogynistic in a way that they hold women to a higher standards and have more empathy for men. Like? Female socialization is aggressive. Scum behavior. Performative virtue

You are showing signs of genuine trauma to me because nobody who is not severely affected by a problem would react this harshly to it. I interact with the same type of women you are describing daily and I guarantee you that I do not react to their words the way you do, you are experiencing some kind of trauma response. You need to understand that your body is not these women's bodies and vice versa no matter how much they try to tell you otherwise, and that the acts they are engaging in are not being done to you. What they are essentially doing in trying to convince you that their problems are your problems is blackmailing you out of prioritizing yourself with things like "all of us have the potential to go through X or Y at the hands of men" (nevermind the fact that not all of us will go through the adverse effects of voluntary involvement with men, like infidelity, disappointment with your health and body after a successful pregnancy or violation of boundaries during consensual sex) and "if we all opted out, men would take it by force" — there will be no "opting out" for every woman on Earth and I have literal proof of them wanting to risk sex or pregnancy voluntarily on my blog. Opting out is for the select few who want to do nothing with heterosexual nonsense even if the price of doing so is death because partaking in their drivel is death, physical and spiritual, and if they really did care about distancing themselves from it all that much they would know that death is the least you will be willing to put up with. The behavior they engage in is perfectly avoidable. Is it hard? It is, but "hard" is very different from the "impossible" they are trying to paint it as.

"So they think that women are always the victims until its... Me?" — exactly. It is very easy to see that they lack integrity with how much they pick and choose who's a victim a who isn't in their eyes. It takes zero braincells to say "every woman is a victim" and actually approach women with that mindset, and when someone fails to do that despite preaching it over and over again, it means that there is some kind of internal agenda that they themselves may not be aware of.

I don't think they are aware of what they are doing per se, intent requires introspection and people like that are usually too caught up in their heads to do any sort of internal work to understand why they behave the way they do. At the end of the day, what matters is that their actions towards you are harmful and their lack of self-awareness doesn't signify that their behavior should be excused. Both you and me have been at it for years with trying to make these women see reason to only end up being abused and hit on the head in return, so my question is — why force yourself to put up with this? Because of the possibility of them coming to their senses and us banding together in our quest to eradicate male violence? You and these women have a different understanding of what constitutes it; you hate PIV and pregnancy and consider them violating while they don't, which is something they readily admit to, but what is even more grating is that they are not allowing you to express your disgust and exert your boundaries because they are fragile enough to think that another person's preferences reflect something about them as a person.

You don't need women to stop doing anything to get better and I am saying that from experience. What is more is that, in trying to "help" these women or by simply being around them, you are hurting a woman (yourself) which nullifies all of your feminist effort. If you want to take care of an abused woman, you need to start taking care of yourself. I can tell you with certainty that these women are well-off psychologically, at the very least compared to you, because no one with severe trauma is out there complaining about doing 50/50 with their man on an internet forum, they are terrified of men to the point where they can't stand the thought of being near one or are left in a catatonic state and I have seen that happen first-hand. I always say the following to anyone who's ever dealt with a serial abuser or put up with chronic abuse — you have years of experience with trying to get that person or lifestyle work for you, and you don't need me to tell you that the connection you are in is a certain death because it is likely reflected in your lack of productivity, overall misery or even the desire to "cross the rainbow bridge". You know what it is like to be hitting rock bottom and you might as well take a leap of faith to try and distance yourself from it. It is you or them and at some point you will have to choose.

[wewebaggit]

I think it was because he was abused or something and apparently had drinking problems? Like bruh you cannot claim to use subversion of 80s horror genre tropes and at the same breath make your black character one of the victims without even focusing on it. Its just...? St can really use some criticism sometimes

Yep it was because he had drinking problems and was a disgrace to his family as per the voiceover that Patrick and we hear as he's riding in the car with Jason n the gang. And then Lucas mentions that he once saw him with a black eye. That's it. That's all.

Patrick deserved way better. Even discounting the fact that he's black. The same episode had the stupid mid air fight between Murray Yuri and Jim's girlfriend. That lasted longer than necessary. That existed. Both valid reasons for having a more fleshed out buildup to THE MOTHERFUCKING SACRIFICE FOR ONE OF THE FOUR (NOT FOURTEEN) GATES.

Maybe if they cooled it on Eleven slow jogging through the lab, eyes wide, breathing heavily and emoting nothingly, Jopper doomsday fucking, Elmike/Mileven, (God stop milking it, it's not great writing, we are gaslighting ourselves to believe it is cuz there was a time we thought the most they'd do for gay Will is have his best friend say something INCREDIBLY HOMOPHOBIC to him), a Russian plot sillier than season 3's - fucking talent, I could go on we could've had something justifying (at the risk of sounding repetitive) A MOTHERFUCKING SACRIFICE FOR ONE OF THE FOUR (NOT FOURTEEN) GATES.

Also leaving you with some of this:

Jason to Patrick

Mike to Lucas

Billy to Max about Lucas

Mike about the science fair contest

(Let me elaborate: It was a state competition and the result was political? MY conjecture is it was not because of frogface or a boy with no teeth or a boy who his town thought was queer - I'm suspecting it wasn't a statewide consensus. Who's left?)

Jason with Lucas

Andy with Erica

I'm not American so I'm not someone who gets the whole American experience of it. But American cultural colonisation means I'm somewhat aware of the tendencies in media. N to me personally I don't resonate with a white/black/brown American character on a racial level but just by how they're written n how well the work is performed. I do not live in a post racial world bt my country has its own different version of racism. That is to say any character being white/other colour is of ZERO value to me. So when I am consuming foreign media, I'll be like this is well written that is not. But then when I arrange them in order of well written to not or underwritten, it's a shade card alright. (🙋🏻🙆🏼🙅🏽🤷🏾🤦🏿) So ya. It's like white ppl tend to write white ppl better. What a discovery. Idk if to call it racist or "I don't see colour" in that I only see white cuz it is not a colour. (How is that for colour theory?) That is NOT to say that X CANNOT at all write about Y. Writing is after all a collaborative effort. It just means you gotta do both: collaborate and put effort.

ST exploits the tropes more than / before it subverts them. And like not in a good way. It's a fantastic show with plenty of opportunity to love it and shit on it in unequal measure tipping more in favour of shitting. And I'll be doing both. Especially regarding the characters that don't go by the name of Mike or Eleven. But them too.

You'll also see me Kali raging soon. Very soon. She might also be (DEFINITELY IS) why I have this whole new account anyway.

El's abuse > Kali's abuse. Okay. At least accepted within text by the writers. Want the "yass girlboss El shoulda snapped Angela's neck for....er...breaking your diorama and ....er......throwing milkshake on you" crowd to respectfully go. Just go. Go Away!

[darlingdollhousevn]

man I really have to emphasize how Big Scary Lowell is in croquembouche bc while the other two settings range from fluffy to mid-tier yan shenanigans like. I want to make it abundantly clear that there are going to be elements of drug use, non consensual sex, heavy gore, gaslighting, and attempted mind control in this game. it's a murdersim and it'll be made to be fairly intense and frightening in its full realization. the other modes will be there for players who don't want as intense of an experience but this is a game by a horror kinkster for horror kinksters

[teacupfullofstars]

Pouring out my writing process and tropes thoughts.

Hands of God, a FNAF movie based AU, is about William Afton making the odd decision of saving a woman's life. As she trains to be a Dr, they become lovers and partners in crime. The story gets its name from the metaphor of their relationship. They are the hands of God, one to take life and one to give. Though they both come to do both of those things.

Writing my FNAF AU is so odd because I have two main characters but no protagonist, really. Obviously, we all know Will's deal he's not a good man. So I matched him with someone who is also not okay. Basically, I usually write a main OC who is quite good, but this time, I'm in new territory with Jane having an insane moral compass. She starts dating Will, knowing he's an active serial killer, eventually marring him. She lies to cover for William's crimes straight up gaslights people for him. She specifically states when she's in med school that she she wants to be a trauma surgeon not to save people but because she's fascinated with how much damage can happen to the human body and it still lives and more importantly how to put it back together. (Due to past trauma more on that later). She eventually straight kills some people to protect Will and their family. If he turns up with blood on him, it turns her on. She's basically the biggest freak I've ever written, and I'm pouring all my impulsive and dirty thoughts into her.

That being said, this is a consensual, age appropriate relationship that does not relish in abuse. Nor is this a Will abusing his family fic I put that out there cause people think that "ruins" Will. But personally, I think loves his family but will destroy anyone else, Will is the best. Jane and William are horrible people, but they adore each other and their children and treat each other will.

Writing is happening, but I have a habit of being slow. Tumblr will be sort of a diary of my WIP until I am able to post.

I suspect my audience will be small, but I really feel like I need to put this story out.

Enjoy the ride, I guess lol.

[planet-crait]

Episode 8! A…hair based wish I guess? This is going to be interesting.

Cosmo how dare you reference Harry Potter on this house. As adorable as you are I will not tolerate this!!!

Aww poor Hazel her mom is always working it seems. And on a day she really needed her mom’s help. Oh her dad’s trying and it’s not as bad as I feared lolz but still not what Hazel needed.

Oh no. Oh no I can see immediately where this is going to go horribly wrong. Living hair? That is uh terrifying. Why is everyone so chill about this? I don’t know why but this episode is just. Negatively vibing with me it’s just really weird for me I need to be honest with yall. Not just what the general consensus for this one is but so far I am not enjoying it at all. How does Diane remove herself from Hazels head so easily? Who thought living and talking hair was it?

Yes little girls with hair like Hazels deserve to have love and attention drawn to their hair being beautiful but this is just. Too weird for me.

Why not. Why not wish for her hair to return? Like I don’t understand. And she had legs why is she using sticks instead what???? I just what is happening? How is no one freaking out about literal living hair walking around?

How is Hazel not beyond late for school by now? Ah she has been missing school I guess?

First real laugh of the episode once again goes to silly signage the animators threw in.

It’s the little things that get me. But uh it’s not a good thing if a sign is all I like in an episode.

Uhh Cosmo. None of those hairstyles are really good like at all. Or maybe I’m behind on the times who knows.

Uhh you guys knew Diane for like two minutes and she was annoying for most of em: and why does Cosmo just. Keep floating off like that?

Is no one questioning the hair having a face? Really? Also she did. Nothing with her…self??? Her hair is how it normally is?

Wow this is uh gaslighting at its finest. Diane you left Hazel bald. Literally bald you walked off she didn’t throw you out what are we doing here?

HOW IS NO ONE QUESTIONING WHAT IS HAPPENING??? And she still kept Diane alive????? I. Uh. I just. I’m done. I’m. Goodbye I’m not rewatching this one I just. No. Am I way off base here? This is easily the worst episode of the season. Just. I can’t really name anything story wise for this episode I liked. At all. Not a good time for me. Maybe other people liked it but the talking hair just. Jumps the shark for me. Also the title card implied a completely different direction for the episode sporting Hazels hair taking over the screen out of control and instead we got…talking hair. We’ll see if I enjoy episode 9 more.

[zemossunshine]

Sunshine Chapter 43

Pairings: Zemo x You  Bucky x You

Summary: Falling in love with a villain. This will start sweet and then go very dark.

Tags: Explicit. Mature. Not for minors. Dark. Angst. Knife play. Depression. Suicidal thoughts. Self Harm . Vomiting. Nightmares. Sleepwalking. Torture. Smut. Broken Bones. Blood. Injury. Violence. Rough Sex. Rape. Kidnapping. Spanking. Unhealthy Relationships. Mental Health Issues. Anal Sex. Orgasm Delay. Fear. Blow Jobs. Sexual Violence. Suicide Attempt. Reference To Domestic Violence. Sleepwalking. Memory Loss. Gen Violence. Threats. Manipulation. Manipulative Relationship. Murder. Death. Loss Of Parents. Implied Alcohol Abuse. Threats Of Rape. Non Consensual Drug Use. Emotional Manipulation. Gaslighting.

Warning for this chapter: Character death.

If it wasn’t for all of your torture, I wouldn’t know how to be this way now and never back down. So I want to say thank you. Because it makes me that much stronger, makes me work a little bit harder, makes me that much wiser. So thanks for making me a fighter. Made me learn a little bit faster, made my skin a little bit thicker, makes me that much smarter so thanks for making me a fighter. How could this man I thought I knew, turn out to be unjust, so cruel. Could only see the good in you, pretended not to see the truth. You tried to hide your lies, disguise yourself, by living in denial. In the end you’ll see you won’t stop me. There is no running back. I’ve had enough. Lyrics by Christina Aguilera.

–

You had corkscrewed into the city in your newly acquired quinjet, laughing maniacally, delighted at the brashness of your skills. Victor had recently visited these lands to prove his intentions, that all he really wanted was for humanity to thrive, to build a better world. With the technology flowing through every molecule here, he could perfect it, perfect mankind, ensure its survival. He passed the rigorous tests easily. When Victor gave his word, it was his exact word. You got to hear about his latest adventure as you laid on top of the roof, cloud spotting with Victor. Chatting away without that constricting mask, it was far too hot here anyway. The location chosen as a grand stage for a magnificent performance. Not quite as breathtaking as space or walking into other dimensions, but it was just another example of Victor’s nepotism, how lucky you were, the experiences you had because of him.

The unwarranted blasting on the golden shield was annoying as it had just obscured the cat shape you saw. Attacks on your person without reason. Again. Assailants flying over you even waved at the Fantastic Four, developing technology to defeat Victor and failing at every turn, it would be no different today. Victor had combined his powers with the anulax battery, finally finding a use for it after years in his possession. The city had shut off all electricity, forgetting themselves what it was built on.

The sun slowly ebbed away, which was much more fitting for the occasion, the light scurried away as if it didn’t want to witness what was about to happen, now ghost stories and monsters come to life, you imagined tales were told of you amongst them. Parents warned their children of a lightless monstrosity as they evacuated them out to safety, you were now the one to fear. You had decided they would grow up in the new world. As the darkness creeped in you took comfort in knowing that everyone would wake to a new day, to a new world.

Victor often told you that those who were enhanced were superior, you didn’t believe him before, that no one person was above another. But if you had the power to save the world as you were doing today, if you were the one personally ensuring that humanity survived, throwing enemies off the scent, protecting them. Then why shouldn’t Victor control it? Why shouldn’t he rule it? To orchestrate a world of your making, where you would have to be listened to. To begin again, in a new image, to rebuild Latveria. It was only fair. It was taken from Victor, so it was only right that he got it back, a new kingdom.

Wakanda.

Victor had killed hundreds of thousands leading up to this battle. A necessary sacrifice. Wakanda were formidable they could take whatever vibranium they could salvage and start over somewhere else, Victor would allow them that. You wondered if you planted the idea of Wakanda in Victor’s head after you told him about Shuri. They wouldn't go down without a fight, you knew that, prepared for it. This is exactly what the Avengers had done to Novi Grad, the difference was the world thanked them for it. The world would be grateful to Victor eventually, they would have to be. There would likely be some collateral damage, that didn't bother you, the so called superheroes left a mess behind wherever they went. At least you and Victor would be staying to clear up.

“Chaos.” Victor murmured, his voice sounded far away, his eyes were dazed like he wasn’t quite on task. More than likely focused on planning the upcoming conflict. Barely glancing at the ships surrounding you, you giggled. You and Victor had been here for hours, innocently pointing up at the sky and you had been met with immediate hostility. Wakanda’s weapons had been booming away at you both, every bang meaningless. As always, pandemonium followed you everywhere. Vibranium was virtually indestructible, Victor didn’t want to destroy it, he wanted to tap into its energy, its mystical energy, to harness it. Da Vinci had shown Victor how to absorb it, and he could then utilise it. Hardly a difficult task, Victor was unstoppable before, but with that battery, and Vibranium. No one would ever dare attack earth again.

Both you and Victor stood without haste, hearing the familiar sound of a certain jet approaching used to have anxiety slinking up your spine, filling you with terror, as you knew who would be on that jet, trying to find a way to subdue you. That thought was only confirmed when several tranquilliser darts rained down on the shield protecting you. Using the same weapons as Hydra. Did Zemo have no shame? What was his plan to lock you in the box at the raft forever, because that is what it would take to stop you. You hoped someone had the good sense to reinforce it by now, it would take a lot more than that shitty box to hold you now. Sam streamlined directly at you. You knew they were sending him to try to reason with you, Sam had never hurt you. Zemo, Bucky and Maria wouldn’t get any logic from you now, they knew to stay back. Send in the righteous man. Sam knew you were imprisoned, had a hint of what they were doing and did nothing to stop them. He wasn’t going to get any sympathy from you, you did admire him, he was a brave man to go against you and Victor.

“Show him what you’re made of, Sweetheart.”

A wicked grin spread on your face as you locked eyes with Victor. Three, two, one. You ducked as Victor's arm swooped into the air, you were so in sync, temporarily disengaging the shield to allow Sam access into your little bubble. In the interim, a small blast from the Dora Milaje slammed into you, it didn’t even sting. Sam launched the shield, metal singing in the air, towards your face. You didn’t cower, knowing Victor would catch it before it invaded your personal space.

“First piece down.” Victor purred. Yet another mistake made by your enemies, they had provided Victor with exactly what he needed. Vibranium so he could feel out all of the rest, the closest thing to him? Captain America’s suit, now just a clunk of metal. Maybe we could use the shield as a serving plate? Sam faltered, the daunting realisation on his face. He didn’t have the shield, didn’t have the suit. Placing his faith in something he believed would never harm him, it was all just a little bit too poetic. He was defenceless, is that what you looked like when you were with Zemo? It was easy to see now, how inferior Sam was, he didn’t have your particular capabilities.

“Don't do this.” Sam begged.

“You can’t stop us.” You assured him, stepping towards him, stomping on the tranquilliser darts as you moved forward. All Sam had now was hand to hand combat. Seeing that alarm and panic on his face established your suspicion, Sam relied too much on his suit, his now useless suit. Trusting always that something as precious as Vibranium would ensure his success. Not now, not with you. You watched his eyes fall on each dart lying around. Victor caught it too, obliterating each one into dust. Your heart raced with anticipation, the type only an oncoming onslaught could bring. Dodging his efforts to kick your legs out. You glanced at Victor whose metal hand was delicately tracing the circular patterns on the shield. As Sam’s shadow approached, so did the black in your gut. Which was enough time for Sam to jam a small penknife into your collarbone.

“Was that supposed to hurt?” You said sarcastically.

Sam's apprehension kicked up a notch. You could have sworn you saw his pulse quicken by the vein in his neck. “What happened to you?” Sam’s unease laced into his words.

“Your friends happened to me.” You said as if he didn’t already know. Matching his steps, circling each other. You reached Victor and snatched the shield from his hands. Swinging to where you knew Sam would turn, to crash directly into the seam of his suit. The rip the wings of this angel. You weren’t quite strong enough, but you felt the shield push itself further in, no doubt aided by Victor. You yanked it out after hearing something snap.

“What would Rebecca think of you now?”

You saw red. You threw the shield with all of your strength, knocking Sam out of your golden shield, sending him flying straight off the building. Torres would be hovering around somewhere, he could get to Sam before he hit the bottom, or not. You didn’t even need your sword, you didn’t even strike him directly, just the suit. Didn’t even bother with your powers, against one person it would be inhumane, Sam wouldn’t have survived it. Some hero he is supposed to be.

Not only did no one trust you with your own daughter, they were now using her as leverage. Using her name to manipulate you into compliance. What would she think of you all, if she knew the truth? How did they all have the pleasure of Rebecca and you didn’t? It was outrageous. Unfair. Her first smile, first laugh and every one she had since. Crawling, walking, her first word. You never got to hold her when she cried, feed her, have her fall asleep in your arms. Never even really got to look at her. You were even encouraged to end your life for hers, you were so dispensable and then she had been concealed from you.

Shuri.

Your brain whispered. Victor didn’t keep you from Rebecca, you couldn’t even put this on your dear husband. The sole reason every precious moment had been snatched from you, was because Shuri, hid your own daughter from you. Blind rage coursed through your blood. You couldn’t hear the increasing assault, the only sound was your bold strides towards the woman who dared to cross you.

You smirked as Shuri's head moved rapidly around, gulping at how many of her queen’s guards, how many of her friends were in your direct line. Wakanda was Victor’s idea, but now you almost felt as if they deserved this and Shuri was responsible for their downfall. The reason an empire would fall. The pain of losing every moment with Rebecca was going right back. Shuri should feel it too. A blue grid appeared just outside of the golden haze. Victor removed it with barely a flick of his wrist, you took his hand and flicked it back in the opposite way. Shuri could have her shield, she could believe she was protected, you could let her have that false sense of security you had lived under. She could whip up any manner of technological wonder she wanted, she could try, she would be screaming. You waited until Shuri’s eyes settled back on you so she could watch you look at each and every member of her army, undeterred by the numbers, undeterred by their power, it was futile.

“RETREAT!”

No. You clenched your fingers inwards. No one would be getting away from you, no one would be getting away with their crimes any more, not on your watch. Sensing some had a higher pain tolerance than others you focused on those who hadn’t dwindled down to the ground. Feeling the pain with each person, holding it before they all snapped, before they were all broken.

Wakanda, an imposing mighty country, their entire army had been thwarted, crumpled by less than a wave of your hand. You basked in their chants, delighted at the thousands on their knees for you. Praying up to you for the deity you were. Animals thrashed, danced on the floor in awe of you. You felt as if you were a puppet master, strings from your hands making the world sing your praises. Victor a god and you a goddess, living amongst real people. The Dora Milaje, Ant Man, Wasp, War Machine, Clint, Kate, Monica Rambeau, The Fantastic Four, all these heroes, bending to Victor’s will, to your will. You turned to Victor who stood and admired you, summoning D from the quinjet to lower your hood. So the crowds could see the face of their new idol.

“Look how far you have come.” Victor gestured out, to the thousands kneeling at your feet. No shots of adrenaline, this was you, in all of your glory, no serotonin, this sight brought you endless joy. It was any wonder you hadn’t embraced the darkness that lived within you all along. To feel the pleasure pulsing within you, to feel your steady heart as if it knew this was your true purpose. Each exhale only calmed you, soaring higher and higher. A weapon, not Hydra’s perfect daughter raised to inflict pain, you had been sculpted by those who claimed to love you. You hoped this image would haunt them, their own personal living nightmare, a perfect storm of everyone else's mistakes, running rampant. The evil in them manifested into true horror as they watched you topple an empire. You revelled in the knowledge that for once they would have to stand and watch, to be the ones that suffered, to be as defenceless as you had been, witness as you ripped everything away and Wakanda were going down quickly. Weapons turning against them in their hands thanks to Victor. No shield that served any real purpose. Spears lined next to soldiers howling in agony.

“I promised I would never ask you to kill. It’s your choice.” Victor pointed out beyond the hordes of warriors, to four figures. “They don’t deserve your protection, Sweetheart, or mine.” No they don’t. It was your choice if they lived or died, if they got to see the world made in Victor’s image. To be free. To be protected by the world’s rulers? Personally protected by their new King? A waste of time.To never get closure, to never feel vindicated for what they had done. They were your reckoning, Zemo, Bucky, Maria, Fury everyone who had ever been involved in your making. You would be their reckoning, be their doom. To be the one to hand deliver the consequences of their own actions.

Emboldened, drunk on power, justified in your actions. The certainty settled all over you. They have to die. Nothing they ever did was fair they didn’t belong in the new world. “What about Rebecca?”

“I’ll find her Sweetheart, I’ll have the technology that hides her at my fingertips.”

To finally have your daughter with no obstacles in your way, to remove those who tried to control you from existence. You held a steady hand out to D. Victor’s eyes sparkled as your sword was placed firmly in your hand. It felt odd leaving Victor’s side, it was your place in the world. Planting your feet into the silver wave, using the sword to balance in one hand and D in harmony as you slipped through the air, leaving Wakanda to battle Victor alone. Some couldn’t even get to their feet. They won’t last much longer. Maybe you already cashed in on your karma, maybe not, but one thing you were certain of, they would get theirs, you would be the one to dish it out. To intimidate them they way they had to you. To make them wish they had never met you. To feed on their fear as they had always fed on yours, you made a quick decision to take them out in the order you met them, leaving Zemo last so he knew exactly what he was in for. Keep running. Activating the small shield Victor has built from a small piece of the battery, you calmly and silently stalked your prey, finding them easily, holed up in an abandoned hut.

You knew why they would have chosen this, it had one exit, meaning they could trap you. They didn’t seem to understand you were no longer playing their games. You stared at them blankly, as Fury fired round after round from his own gun and Maria’s at your shield. Bored of the same routine, you would think after all this time they would know it really just was a waste of resources. Lowering the shield as Fury used his body to shield rather irritating shrieking Maria, begging Fury to stop. A clear indication they were out of options, you twirled the sword in a perfect circle, just as Zemo and Bucky could. Moving it to your other hand D whirred to your other side, checking you could perform the same trick with both hands you held the sword high aiming for the neck of the man who forever had a frown painted on his face and swung down.

–

Having dealt with Fury and Maria you sought out your next victims. Nothing could stop you. Whistling the same song Zemo used to terrify you. The tip of your bloody sword scratching along the wall, just another sinister sound to add to the bait, so Zemo and Bucky could seek you out. Strolling towards them, one foot squelching in blood, glancing to the side you really did look like the grim reaper and death was coming for them. Just a pitiful ring of colour remained in your eyes. I don’t even recognise myself anymore. Turning the corner you came across your past lovers. You wondered if they were as shocked by the confidence you had now, well you never would have believed it before, it wasn’t possible before, not with being threatened every other day. They both had the chance to kill you, they should have taken it at the time. Now they won’t see the new world.

“This isn’t who you are, you can fight this.” Bucky urged.

Ignoring Zemo completely, refusing to give him the satisfaction of your attention, you would get to him next. “How would you know?” You even sounded like Victor now. “You moulded me into what you wanted. This has always been inside me. You can’t manipulate me anymore.” You scowled.

“We've got her, load up the jet.” Bucky spoke into his ear piece before adjusting his footing ready for an attack. “Wakanda? It feels personal.” Bucky huffed.

“It is personal. You destroyed my peace, so I’m going to take yours.”

“Buck, she killed them. Get out of there!” You barely caught Sam’s voice in Bucky’s ear. You revelled in Bucky’s disbelief. Looked down at your sword as if they didn’t see the blood. After Bucky opened and closed his mouth a few times, you yawned bored of the same old shitty arguments you were finally on their side and they still told you how wrong you were. Before any more bullshit could fall from his mouth, you dropped the gun pressed inside your sleeve into your hands and fired right between Bucky’s eyes.

Goodbye Bucky. You were being tortured by Hydra like he was, no sympathy, no offer of help, of everyone you thought he could empathise. You shuddered when the black within you started to vibrate and spread out, dancing down your legs, flooding into your fingertips, you couldn’t help but cackle into the air. You don’t know how you got this far in life without shooting at someone. I never needed to until now. It felt right the first time would be at Bucky. His stupidity to believe you wouldn’t hurt them, kill them. There isn’t anything good left. The confusion of staring down the barrel of a gun in your hand, would be etched on his face forever. He looked more beautiful than the day you met him. His bright blue eyes, forever grey. I’ll never see those eyes again. Zemo had to witness you take a life, it’s what you wanted. He was more to blame than anyone, you wanted to feel his fear, to relish every sweet moment you finally got your revenge. For Zemo to come face to face with the monster he created, to show your dear husband his good work. You dropped a gun and sword, you didn't need them, after all you were the weapon. You didn’t need any man made invention to have Zemo screaming at your feet. This wasn’t Victor’s influence, you weren’t under a spell, you weren't being controlled. It was just you, just you and Zemo and the burning wrath in your eyes.

You took a single step forward and Zemo took one back. He was finally, irrefutably, incontrovertibly, unequivocally afraid of you. To switch positions, Zemo understood now, there was no going back, you had enough. Bliss spread over you, a feral smile on your lips there wouldn’t be a feeling that could match it. The feeling alone could motivate you until the end of time. Fear in his eyes was intoxicating. You finally understood why it was so hard for Bucky and Zemo to stop. It will be over soon.

Morphing your face into a soft deceptively loving smile, you held out your arms to your darling husband, to lure him in as he had always to you, to show him kindness at the right time, to let him fall into your trap. He wasn’t his usual angry volatile self, no threats had formed, seeing that spark in his eyes hidden behind his dismay, that nostalgia, you knew you had him. He ran hands over your forearms, passing the scars that started it all, abnormally you couldn’t feel it, you were untouchable, slowly wrapping his arms to rest on your lower back. The same hands that tortured you, that put you here, with thousands screaming at your feet. Taking the opportunity of his guard being down you ran your hands up the straps of his holster just as you always had as Zemo clung onto you, holding onto who you used to be. Zemo once promised you that he wouldn’t ever let this happen, he would probably rather see you die than have to watch you take over earth. You will have your wish. You made a show of looking around to take in the devastation that Zemo’s love had caused. His love brought you here. To think you could have had it all with Zemo, well at least you would have believed you had, but your eyes had been opened to the truth.

“I need you back, please Sunshine come back to me.” His voice sounded distorted. As if it were difficult to get the words out, as if Zemo would ever beg. He wouldn’t. He was so selfish, everything was always about him and now hard done by he was. Still after everything that pang of regret, the heartache got to you, not enough to cease the fire, fire in your heart, reached a fever pitch, moving your hand to stroke the nape of his neck, you curled your fingers slowly around the hilt of his sword.

“Sunshine’s gone. You killed her.” Yanking the sword out and running it straight into his heart, the last man to die in your name by this blade. You heaved a satisfied sigh at the sight of Zemo spluttering, he underestimated you. Whatever ‘Sunshine’ was faded into the background a long time ago, you wished you could pinpoint the exact moment. Inclining your head as Zemo’s head lulled forward, as if he couldn’t believe you would kill him. You hadn’t quite let it sink in yet.

“I never belonged to you.” You whispered, twisting the sword into his chest, shocked to find there was in fact a heart under it all. Reminding yourself of every time he kept you trapped and afraid. I’ll never belong to you again.

The black in your gut pulsed out, burying itself into every corner of your body, lacerating everything in its path, you embraced it, to finally allow yourself to be what you were meant to be, to let the black flow freely, to give in, slowly agonisingly the black retracted back to wrap it’s self around your heart, encasing it in darkness. Tears sprung to your eyes, from pure joy. Revenge really is sweet. You marvelled at your own power. You killed an Avenger. A man that terrorised the world. Had one of the world's most dangerous men frightened of you. A criminal mastermind, the most manipulative person on the planet. The world will be better off.

Yanking the sword out to watch as Zemo fell spectacularly to the floor, at your feet. You couldn't manage a single tear for Zemo, there were no tears left for him, the sound of him choking on his own blood was a sweet melody to your ears. He would drown in it. Pulling the necklace from your neck you flung it on his gasping form. That gift, nothing more than a leash to restrain you. The ring you thought would keep you untouched by violence was the one thing that tethered you to it, to him. A sign of ownership, you let it fall from your finger. You wouldn’t miss it, wouldn’t miss Zemo, Bucky or any of them. Not where I’m going. Looking up to see Victor looking down at you with nothing but adoration, he beckoned you back to him.

Goodbye Zemo.

–

Fifteen Minutes Earlier

–

You twirled the sword in a perfect circle, just as Zemo and Bucky could. Moving it to your other hand D whirred to your other side, checking you could perform the same trick with both hands you held the sword high aiming for the neck of the man who forever had a frown painted on his face and swung down, retracting slightly to glide straight past Fury, propelling the sword around your body to slice D clean in half from behind. Wincing as you heard two thuds on the floor, stupidly even after everything, you felt guilt at killing your little personal robot. This was as free as you would ever be, free from Victor, you wanted to drown in the feeling, but you didn’t have time.

Your life wasn’t ever about love it was about trust and if there was one person in the world you had faith would listen to you now, it was Maria, you wouldn’t be going anywhere near the men in your life. Even if you had to beat your words into her, it was why you chose to go after her first. You had a chance with her, the woman who claimed she wouldn't stop you if you went off the deep end, as she refused to shoot at you, you had a slight indication this might work. To ask for her help, force her, to have a slight hope of anyone listening to you, really listening, it was her. If possible Fury’s eyebrows pulled tighter together, turning into a grimace, slowly straightening yourself up, letting your sword dangle in one hand you put the other face up, finger flat out in front of him.

“Phone.” A demand and it was a demand because if you didn’t get it, you were about to start beating the shit out of someone unapologetically. The tension was palpable, you could almost taste the hesitation, the confusion and it wasn’t shifting. A stalemate that you didn't have the patience for. You hadn’t moved your eyes from Fury's, feeling a weight in your hand you let it slip from your finger’s, Maria’s phone wouldn't do, you needed unrestricted access, total freedom, you had to be absolutely certain.

Fury reluctantly dropped his phone into your hand. He had been fortunate that Victor hadn’t felt this, but then you had chased them as far away as you feasibly could. Turning your back on them both, you tucked your sword under your arm, you would know if they decided to attack and you started typing. You could have taken the opportunity to call Zemo and explain, speak to Oeznik and at the very least hear Rebecca’s voice, tell her how much you loved her. Whatever results you saw it wasn’t going to change your mind either way, you knew what you had to do, but there was something telling you that you needed to know this, an inkling, that this was the key, the knowledge that had eluded you. To search without Victor’s prying eyes, seeing a very pixelated picture staring back at you, you saw yourself or at least someone that could easily be mistaken for you.

Valeria.

Sacrificed to the Hazareth for more power.

Victor killed her.

Victor murdered the woman he loved, for something as pitiful as power. With a locket of all things, a necklace, he placed that on her neck as a symbol of love, he betrayed her, sacrificed her and his own happiness. This was why Victor always looked at you as if he knew you, almost as if he could love you. Your heart thudded in your chest as Victor’s voice rang in your ears. I want you. Victor told you the day you met and told you again and again, that he wanted you, the very essence of you, your power. Zemo would have worked this out years ago. As much as you hated to admit it Zemo would never sacrificed you for power, despite your feelings about him you were sure he wouldn’t have sacrificed your life for anything, not even the universe. Dr Doom with the anulax battery, Vibranium and my power. Somehow you knew that wasn’t all of it. Chaos. Your legs almost gave out, aghast at the real meaning of chaos, the world wouldn’t stand a chance. They hadn’t managed to stop him in three years and that was without you and her. You craned your neck to the distracting vibration on the floor. Maria’s phone flashing with an unknown number. As you turned to answer it both Maria and Fury backed themselves up against the wall.

“I’m almost there.”

Wanda. Luck was finally on your side. “Do you still trust me?” You asked hesitantly. Wanda always had confidence in you, but that was before everything. You held your breath as silence filled the air. Hoping with the very little you had left, desperate for Wanda to understand.

“Yes.”

Relieved you smiled, a genuine smile, you wondered how long it had been. Tightening the grip on your sword and giving Fury and Maria a scathing warning glance, you had to alert Wanda. “Stay the fuck away from me-” Barely holding onto the rhythm of your controlled breathing, “And Victor.” You weren't even the end goal, Wanda was. The Scarlet Witch. Victor needed you to be stronger for him when the time came, so he could take your powers at their full capacity. That’s where Hydra came in, Victor didn’t have the stomach to do it himself, because you reminded him of Valeria. Victor failed you, just like everyone had failed you. You swallowed the truth with him too, not allowing yourself to scrutinise his actions. The sweet realisation, the clarity of your life. You weren't destined for violence across the multiverse, not even destined to suffer. You died, in every world. It’s why Victor always travelled back in time. Your destiny was to die. You had to make this death count.

“Victor wants Wanda’s powers-” You handed Fury’s phone back to him a tad too forcibly. You watched as Maria toiled between fight or flight which you couldn’t blame her for, “He's going to take mine first.”

“Time to go.” Fury tried to grab you without hesitation.

Flinching at the sudden movement, “No,” You gently pushed Fury’s hand back, away from your body. “We have to let him.”

Maria and Fury both looked at each other like you had lost your mind and you knew how it sounded, but they hadn’t been with you all these years, they hadn't seen what you had, you didn’t have the time to explain and honestly you were at the end of your tether, you were never listened to. “It will kill him.”

It might. Although you had mastered levelling out your voice, sounding confident even if you weren't. You weren't entirely sure Victor would actually die, that one time he was so excited to see your powers at work, to see for himself exactly how they operated, that one time he slipped up, he told you that he wasn't ready to see inside your mind and just for a moment you saw it, Victor was scared of you. This is what he needed, the final step, so my powers take over me. To kill. To take a life, you could barely comprehend it, but this was a matter of one hundred million lives or just two. To kill Victor, you needed help, you couldn’t do this alone, you didn’t have the resources or the brain power. Reaching out for Maria, trying not to feel jilted as she cowered, you pulled the kimoyo beads from her wrist, sliding it onto your own frantically pressing on each one.

Everyone would be forced to live in the new world, to live under Victor rule. Humanity would thrive, for sure, there just wouldn’t be any free will. Everyone would live the way you had. Life a series of cage after cage. Victor would have total control, which ironically was just what Hydra wanted with the insight project. To think there was a time you would have argued for him to go to the raft, that place couldn’t hold him, you saw that yourself. A new world where Victor would kill people with your powers, to make them feel unspeakable pain before the screaming turned to silence. Victor who in the words of Zemo had the will to carry out this mission, to kill millions. Complete control, no freedom, you couldn't allow it. If Victor’s intention was to take your powers, your life, then you had to take him with you. A hand touched your wrist and you baulked, that arm grab by Fury had startled you, this was too much. The only people who touched you without permission meant brutality. Maria held her hands up, seeming to understand what she had done. Shuri’s head projected from your wrist. Just the person you were looking for.

“You will die for this!” Shuri seethed.

Don’t worry, we are getting to that part. You angled your body so she could see Fury and Maria by your side, a movement to show that you weren't the enemy. You hadn’t harmed them, you threw your sword to the ground. Shuri’s eyes darted between all three of you, deciding her next course of action.

“You have to turn the electricity back on-” Seeing the alarm in her face. “NO! Not for Victor, how are your holograms?” Cursing yourself for once again saying the wrong thing, you were sure you were sweating, standing amongst people who should definitely be trying everything they could to take you down, but you needed help if you were going to pull this off. You had something to thank Hydra for. In their cruelty they aided you, you needed their sordid hologram, in particular you needed the one they had of Zemo. It was a risk, but you weren't exactly flourished with options.

“Unparalleled to real life. I have been working on a battle of all the previous black panthers.” Shuri’s smile widened “It’s scientific research!” She said as if she had to plead her case a thousand times before. Only someone like Shuri could make a joke at a time like this. Just as you were about to explain what you needed, a portal opened in front of you. Shit, there goes that plan. If you had to try and take Victor down like this, his power versus yours, it couldn’t be done. Slamming your foot down on the tip of your blade to flip it up, catching it when you didn't need to. It wasn’t Victor that stepped through, it was Dr Strange, his hands concealed by his yellow gloves.

“I’m so sorry.” You whispered, despite seeing that he could use his magic you knew that Dr Strange had been publicly declared out of action, nothing more was reported, but you knew why. He simply inclined his head as a way of acceptance. Although you were grateful for the opportunity to apologise you didn’t really understand why he was here. Victor had spent months studying him after he came to the Castle, Strange could try, but he might fail. The hologram would probably fail, Shuri was speaking animatedly about protecting Wakanda, Fury was ordering Maria to convince you to leave. Maria stood with her arms crossed glaring at Fury waiting for you and all you had been reminded of is how little time you had to pull this off. That Victor might come looking for you or worse Zemo and Bucky. Dr Strange seemed to feel the lack of time as much as you did, he slowly opened another portal.

“The last person you would think of.” He said with a light disdain. You felt the charm hit you before Loki stepped through daggers ready at his side, a cautious glance in everyone’s direction.

“Hell no.” Fury stated.

Hell yes. This was perfect, a trickster, no the trickster. Swinging your sword to rest under Fury’s chin with as much grace as you had left for this argument. Loki, the first and last disagreement you would have with Fury but this time you would win. “It's Victor or Loki.” You didn’t have to wait long for the answer, lowering your sword and stepping up to an actual god. You started to explain what you needed when he interrupted you.

“If we are doing this, we are doing it with style.” He offered you his hands so you could focus on him and let everything in the background fade away, you listened to his much better plan, littered with dramatic flair as you gaped at how alluring he was and how much you hated Zemo for knowing you so well, if he could see this, you would get to see that smug look on his face then he would of course be dragging you out, as far from Loki as he could.Listening to his much better idea you couldn’t help but notice how conniving and scheming it was, then that was exactly how you always imagined him. Another Royal, maybe I really do have a type?

“I have to believe it.” You insisted.

“You will, trust me.”

“I have always trusted you.” You said honestly, Loki’s brilliant eyes fixed on you. The only person left who trusted you, who trusted you without question, just as you felt for him. You wished you had met him under better circumstances. Catching onto everyone else deciding what to do with Zemo and Bucky. Not my problem. You had to steel your focus on ending Victor, you simply did not have room on your plate for them. Chewing the inside of your lip with nerves, you had outsmarted Zemo once and you knew it wouldn’t happen again, he would have thought of everything.

“Darling, we can handle two silly mortal men.” Loki smiled menacingly. As the red rose over your face you shook your head at yourself. Forever falling for the bad guys. You never stood a chance, bashfully you giggled and you couldn't even hate yourself for it. Dr Strange gave Loki a look, a look that told you that is why Dr Strange came to your rescue, to make sure no one got in your way and for Loki to behave.

“Is the building empty?” You asked, nods all round. “Blow it.”

“NO!” Maria and only Maria answered. Everyone else here understood that you wouldn’t make it.

“I’ll die either way. You are trying to barter one life against an entire country, against the world.” You sighed, you needed to make sure that if Victor didn’t die then at the very least he couldn’t take your powers and hope with everything you had that someone would find a way to stop him. “Stop trying to save me, look at where it's got us.” Maria rushed forward pulling you into a tight hold. You hadn’t had a meaningful embrace in how long? Holding onto her to show her that Hydra didn’t get their perfect villain they didn’t win, blinking back the tears, you had to forgo the goodbyes.

“We will tell the world what you have done here today.” Shuri said solemnly. You shook your head in refusal, you didn’t deserve that, didn't want it either, you just needed it to be over. You needed this to be the end of the never ending cycle of pain. To tell the world who you are? What you are? Hydra would find Rebecca and if they didn’t someone would, someone like Victor. Everyone turned to the rushing footsteps. You assumed it was Zemo, pushing Maria away and angling towards Dr Strange, the only person who could get you out of here, you were so accustomed to portals saving you, your body moved on instinct. Instead you were met with a bullet to the calf. Head shooting up to see Sam aiming a gun in your direction. A bullet? Your gut barely registered it, stomping over to him you wrestled the gun out of his hand with very little resistance.

“When it’s genocide Sam, you aim for the head!” Scoffing at him you jerked your head to Loki to follow you out. In fairness you did need a gun, in trying to make this plan come together that had slipped your mind. Settling you breathing you paused to slip back into the mind of the villain which alarmingly wasn’t that difficult. It had always been there, just under the surface, no one had ever let it out before, something inside you that craved power, craved control, thirsted for blood.

“Let’s go and kill your husband.” The last words spoken to you by an ally and not an illusion. Your smile grew into something vicious. That evil inside you uncoiled, eager to be fed, transforming into a heartless monster, to unleash your pain upon the world. You didn’t even notice when you started walking to make sure Victor witnessed you, when Loki slipped the kimoyo beads from your wrist, when you started whistling, the moment the switch happened, when the fire in your heart burned more intensely than a thousand suns.

–

Yanking the sword out to watch as Zemo fell spectacularly to the floor, at your feet. You couldn't manage a single tear for Zemo, there were no tears left for him, the sound of him choking on his own blood was a sweet melody to your ears. He would drown in it. Pulling the necklace from your neck you flung it on his gasping form. That gift, nothing more than a leash to restrain you. The ring you thought would keep you untouched by violence was the one thing that tethered you to it, to him. A sign of ownership, you let it fall from your finger. You wouldn’t miss it, wouldn’t miss Zemo, Bucky or any of them. Not where I’m going. Looking up to see Victor looking down at you with nothing but adoration, he beckoned you back to him.

Goodbye Zemo.

Crouching down to collect your sword from the ground your eyes met Loki's. Ember sparks floated behind him, Dr Strange’s cloak of levitation just coming into view billowing out from the portal he had opened. Loki’s arm stretched projecting out, the scene behind you and the other to his side. Keeping both Zemo and Bucky out of your view, if you saw the real Zemo you doubted you would go through with it. Loki tricked you, your powers, now he could see the darkness in your eyes, it had clouded over all of the colour, all of the light. You both understood each other for what you were, the recognition of a fellow misunderstood soul, both placed in impossible situations, desperately searching for the best outcome, because when it came down to it, you would both sacrifice yourself if it ensured the lives of those you loved. His face split into a smile only the god of mischief could deliver.

Zemo was right there just behind Loki ready to be pushed through the portal back to that fucking house at the right moment. You could just walk straight through, be reunited with your daughter, absent-mindedly you traced your thumb over your finger, finding it empty. You let Zemo go, removing that ring from you, removing the responsibility of killing Victor from Zemo, from everyone.

That was your mission.

Standing with your sword in your hand as every blast purposely missed you, you mentally thanked Shuri, bracing yourself for what you had to do. To kill the man who showed you nothing but kindness, just like Hydra once had, just like Zemo had. Victor's hedonistic nature came easily to him, he knew you had to love him too, to relinquish your power to him. You had to have the courage to do it, to truly be capable of taking a life and although it made your heart ache you knew you had to be the means to a necessary end. To do what was necessary Just like Zemo. To have your heart corrupted and in the end by yourself. Hydra hadn't, Zemo hadn't nor Victor, this was you, your tainted heart and a fierce stubbornness. The same strong will that you were told would be the death of you, ironic really. It saved you in some ways, but ultimately it was about to snuff out your life. You would never get to hear Zemo telling you he loved you one last time, you weren't sure you wanted to hear it. Not that you were sure that was even true. Another lie, just like this illusion, all of it, a life of lies. Although Victor didn’t lie to you, he just omitted crucial details, that he raised you as a pig to slaughter.

The regret of it all, to go out this way, to become a killer. To take a life, to commit an act so heinous, To become what you had been for a long time, the lies you fed yourself, to believe that you weren't, Hydra’s daughter, Zemo's legacy and Victor's long lost love. The sheer joy that Rebecca didn’t witness it. That you were nothing to her, she wouldn’t even hear of this. Victor had been right; some people just didn't deserve the gift of life. He was at the top of that list along with you, his accomplice in it all. To accept your fate, your destiny, your death.

Once you took that step you couldn't be saved, you were beyond saving, you knew it with every steady beat of your blackened heart. To outsmart Victor, to trick him. Although now that you thought about it, you weren't. You were giving him exactly what he wanted, your power. The only question was if your will was stronger than his. Eager to give Victor the power he craved, the power he coveted. You sprinted towards the entrance of the building, flying straight past Loki, past Dr Strange, past Bucky, past Zemo.

–

You weren't even panting as you reached the top of the building, you were determined. As you climbed the steps your mind was filled with Valeria. A woman whose love changed Victor, as you believed you changed Zemo, how she trusted him and he stole her life away for something as mediocre as power. All of the times your heart ached for him as he pined for her. You had to end Victor, and if you were going to do it for anyone you would do it for her, for a fellow woman who just like you placed her heart in the hands of the wrong man.

You knew that Victor could move himself into your consciousness, keep you alive, but he was the one who couldn't bear to see you through another birthday. In his mind your death would be fair, it would mean the end of your suffering. He must have considered it at some point, trying to train you to protect yourself, giving you the satisfaction of turning on Hydra yourself. Your relationship was a perfect symbiosis, up until now. Wakanda's ships flew away in a faux act of surrender, to get as far away from Victor as they could, away from you. He offered you his hand and you took it willingly, ignoring the remorse string in your gut.

“There is no place for Hydra in my plans Sweetheart, I’ll destroy them all.” Victor promised, you saw the sorrow in his eyes for what you had to endure to be strong enough for him. Victor always kept his word, but he wouldn’t be alive to fulfil his duty. “I’ll find Rebecca, Hydra will never have her.” No they won’t and neither will you. Victor slowly reached up to remove his helmet, rugged underneath, dirty blonde hair that flopped down brushing his eyelashes. Face marred with the remains of what he did to himself in his grief, a survivor, beautiful despite his scars, just as he once called you.

Pushing yourself up against him you looked into his bright green eyes, eyes that couldn't hide the anticipation, the excitement, the possibility of having the power you possessed. So distracted he didn't even notice D was gone. Victor had trained you so well you were able to deceive him. Victor had waited so long for this moment, building you up, building himself up, so he could handle the pain buried within. The black flowed out from your hand, twirling itself around Victor’s arm as well as your own, clutching onto him, not allowing him any opportunity to escape, at the very least your powers seemed to understand what was happening.

“I want you to take my power.” You told him earnestly. Victor held Sam’s shield above both of your heads to protect you from any rogue attacks, Victor knew he would be vulnerable, you had to hope he would be weak enough. Reaching up to stroke his face, to take in the man who had taught you so much, to kill the man who had saved your daughter's life, saved her from you, something you could never reconcile within yourself, you pressed your lips against his, closing your eyes, unable to watch.

But you had to, you had to know that Victor died, that you died, that you weren’t able to wreak your havoc on this world anymore. A world that wouldn't have a fighting chance against Victor. We have to die. As soon as you opened your eyes, tears escaped, rolling down your cheek, in sorrow for having to kill Victor. A black spot bled into his eyes, his eyes widened at the horror, his own tears escaping at the loss of you. He deepened the kiss you noticed, his lips felt cold, or was it your own? Victor was draining your life, stripping away your energy, trying to make the process as painless as he could, for you to give up your powers willingly. Watching the golden shield flicker, you brought the black to the surface just as Bucky had once for you, to show Victor exactly what Hydra did to you. To save the world from Victor, to protect the world and by extension, that included yourself. A loophole. Before you could be engulfed in guilt, you clenched your fingers in and let it all out, everything you had to endure, all of the memories, every scream, every snap, every tear.

That’s when the screaming started.

–

“I don't know how else to stop him. It's her or the world.” Dr Strange told him. All whilst keeping both himself and James in separate cages made of amber tendrils. James' anger had tipped over, he had screamed, threatened to kill, maim. He himself didn't have enough time to prepare, and didn't foresee certain people arriving to your aid. To hatch a scheme to overcome magic, in limited time? He came with the intention to give his life, to kill Victor, he had not factored in a sorcerer or a god. Instead he fixed his death glare at Dr Strange who looked shameful, as he should, this would be the second person he sent to death, the first being Tony Stark.

“I choose her.” He said truthfully. There was no use in beating around the bush, he wanted, no needed you. He did not care if the world suffered for it. James fished his phone out of his pocket, no doubt calling Shuri, in an attempt to negotiate with a friend and not just a mere acquaintance. Shuri at least knew what she had involved herself in, she knew you, knew some of your history. Dr Strange didn’t and Loki certainly didn’t, feeling something akin to jealousy that you spoke to him, sought out assistance from someone other than him.

“Right now, she is choosing you.”

It was a beautiful sentiment, to believe that you were saving him specifically, but this was bigger than that. This was the world, the opportunity to save the world, as self sacrificing as you were, nothing could stand in your way. Distraught at the knowledge that nothing could deter you. You sent him away, knowing he would never agree to this. The world for your life, it would always be you. To know that your powers still did not take the essence of you, Your faith hadn’t been broken, not even Dr Doom corrupted your heart. You were still the woman who captivated him, until the very end. James begged Shuri needlessly, claiming they would lose you. Zemo knew when he was beaten, knew he had lost a long time ago. He had caused irreparable and insurmountable pain to you. Neither of them deserved your sacrifice, as far as he was concerned no one did. The world would be a lot less bright without you in it. He knew that you would have learned everything you could from Victor, prepared for every eventuality, knowing what you would do, but unable to articulate words, his eyes fell to the phone James was screaming into, needing him to end the call before he had to hear it.

“Bast forgive us.”

“NOOO!” James screamed before Shuri finished her sentence but not before he heard the soul crushing sound of a building beginning to collapse. Zemo could have sworn he heard his heart shattering over it. Feeling the sun beat down on his face, he wouldn’t feel it truly, not ever again. He couldn't even think of you these days, without it ripping his heart out. Dr Doom had finally met his end, a scheme so beautifully executed.

As Rebecca ran towards him delighted that he was home early, Dr Strange removed his hold on him, he scooped her up never wanting to let her go, a bitter serendipity. Hiding his tears in her hair, having to hear another wife's life snuffed out, another wife he failed to protect. You paid for his mistakes, life truly would be a punishment now, without you.

–

Woken by your own hacking, in a cruel twist of fate you survived. All you remember was the world falling from under your feet. Moving your hand to try and wipe the dust from your mouth you were stuck, sandwiched between Victor and the shield. Victor tried to protect you in his last moments, was it his love? Or his desire for your powers? You would never know. Steve used to hide his entire body behind this shield, it wasn’t exactly stretch that you could. The shield that was a symbol of hope, protected thousands of innocents, you weren’t one of them, didn't deserve it. The hope you held onto so tightly, would kill you in the end. You did everything right and it all went so terribly wrong. You had survived just to suffocate, it seemed fair if you were honest. Your hand still entwined with Victor’s, holding onto him desperately, was cold, dead. You didn't know if the building caved his head in or if it were you, Victor didn't expect that you would use your powers, neither did you. Against the wheezing there was a peaceful silence, so close to oblivion, serenity, not quite, but you were free, finally free from the control, the fear, every cage, even Victor’s.

You had lost count of how many times you almost died, how many times you had across the multiverse and yet in this one you survived, against all odds. There wasn’t anyone to save you, you were alone as you always had been. At the very least you were already six feet under, more than. Nothing left for anyone to worry about. The ashes would fall and you would be left to the breeze. You had betrayed the one person who always fought in your corner, who longed for your freedom in his own twisted way. You killed someone you loved and you did love him in a way, he shot himself in the foot. Victor was unable to believe that love could overcome ultimate power. Something you would never comprehend, not that you had much time left.

Shrouded in darkness and covered in dust. this was where you belonged. Death with a blackened soul. The air would run out and you would suffocate it was the very least you deserved. A few hours down here and you would be gone with him, it was over. All of it was finally over. Clutching Victor’s hand as close to your chest as you could manage, repeating the same phrase over and over as if it could absolve you.

“I'm so sorry Victor.”

Next Part: https://www.tumblr.com/zemossunshine/707776450785312768/sunshine-chapter-44?source=share