#but instead it's making me feel worse because I still can't connect the same after what happened at my concert and I feel silly

[dsireland86]

I Fucked Up

Had a quick idea about the picture above. I've seen this photo so many times, and it always leaves a sad impression on me. Hopefully now it won't. ☺️

Tags: @foliosgirl @xxkittenkissesxx @thefallennightmare @lma1986 @philomenie @concreteemo @reyadawn

It was just a fight, right? You'd be back once the dust settled, and you had cooled down some. You always did.

Folio stood there in the glow of the red exit light, eyes still glued to the door after it had slammed shut moments ago. You walked out, finally finished with the lame ass justifications and excuses he'd been giving you since last night. It was just a party, you told her. It was just a fan. There were no feelings attached at all, but that only seemed to make the situation worse. She said she saw enough, heard enough, and now.... finally felt enough.

It's not like he slept with the girl. Didn't even come close to it. It's just that between the weed, the alcohol, and the mood, Folio allowed the girl, who'd been overly friendly since she and her friends showed up at the after show party, to do a little more than he expected her to do.

Noah and Jolly always told him he was a little naive when it came to women. But that's why you loved him, why the two of you connected the moment you met. She wasn't like all the other girls, and you weren't like all the other guys.

Folio fucked up. Bad. Panic rose in his chest, and his mouth suddenly went dry. His hands that still held his drum sticks shook with fear over the idea of losing you. What he did last night with that girl as she sat comfortably on his lap; the kissing, the thigh grabbing, the way she ran her hand over the one and only thing that belonged to you, squeezing and massaging it in hopes to achieve the result from him that she wanted, but couldn't... because it wasn't you. Only you knew how to make him cum in your hand.

Folio was losing you. Fast, and he couldn't function properly to figure out what to do next. Tears welled in his eyes at the thought of not having you as his. You were his world, his stability, the love of his life.

Pulling the little black box out of his pocket, Folio wiped the escaped tear away, staring hard at the box as if would tell him what he should do, but he heard only silence. That's when the emotional anger took over. Balling his hand into a tight fist, Folio threw a hard punch at the wall, putting a large dent with a small hole in it. "Fuck!" He looked down at his knuckles already bleeding.

"You know, that's coming out of your paycheck."

Folio turned around to see Matt standing behind him, arms folded across his chest as he leaned against the wall.

"Fuck! I'm sorry, Matt. I shouldn't have done that." Folio apologized, running his good hand through his wet hair to get it out of his eyes.

Matt shrugged, moving away from the wall towards Folio. "Yeah, whatever. The guy running this place is a fucking dick anyway." He grabbed a napkin off the snack table on his way over, taking Folio's hand and applying it to his bloody knuckles.

"I fucked up, Matt. I fucked up so bad. There's no way she'll marry me now if she feels like she can't trust me." Matt could hear the panic and fear in Folio’s voice. Honestly, even he was a little surprised by Nick's behavior last night, but was willing to believe his friend's admission more than she was at this point.

"I wouldn't be too sure about that, Folio. She has a tendency of surprising people. Remember when she first started hanging out with us, and Nicholas accidentally dropped his entire cup of coffee all over her brand new white leggings because of the cat he saw that was about to get hit. Dude, Noah and I thought she was going to freak the hell out, but instead, she took off running with Nicholas after that damn cat. In the end, they were laughing hysterically."

Folio laughed at the memory. It was the same day he asked her out on their first date. He'd walked into the bathroom while she changed, but instead of yelling at him to leave, she told him to stay since he'd already seen her underwear. That's when he kissed her for the first time.

"What about when we went bowling, and Stephen dropped the 11 lb bowling ball on her foot?" Folio wrinkled his nose remembering how bruised her foot got after that. "A few moments of choice words under breath and two shots of spiced rum later, she made sure that Stephen didn't feel bad about it and eventually the two of them were so drunk, they were singing their own karaoke versions of Bad Omens songs." "Holy shit, that was so horrible."

Matt and Folio shared a few moments of a good laugh. Folio found himself a little more hopeful that maybe this could turn out better than he thought. Maybe.

Matt patted Nick on the shoulder and removed the napkin from his knuckles. The bleeding had mostly stopped, but slight bruising was already starting to show.

"That's going to definitely make playing a lot harder." Folio shrugged. "My punishment." Matt raised an eyebrow. "Your ass is grass if it fucks up my front of house." Folio chuckled. "Anyway, Noah’s with her. He took her to the roof of the bus and is just sitting with her." Folio sighed, but the tension returned.

Noah hopped down the ladder, his long legs reaching the ground a lot sooner than Folio’s would have. "What the hell happened to you?" Folio looked down at his knuckles. "The wall and I had a fight," he answered pathetically. Noah scoffed. "Who won?" Folio held up his hand, showing Noah the bruising and partially dried blood. "Apparently, the wall." Noah chuckled.

"She's hurt, man. Her heart," Noah shook his head. "She's really trying to understand what happened and not be upset with you. She loves you more than anything else, and she knows you love her too. That's why none of it makes sense to her." Folio nodded, indicating he understood. "What do I do, Noah? How do I fix this?" Noah took a deep breath, sighing. "If I were you, I'd be completely transparent. Tell her exactly how you feel, whether you think it's important or not. Right now, she's in protective mode. Her guard is up, and it's going to take a lot of talking and understanding to help her get past this. But," and Noah laid his hand on Folio's shoulder, "she's vulnerable and is willing to do whatever it takes to keep you, Nick. You're her world. You mean everything to her. That's why this whole thing hurts her so badly. She just needs to know she's safe." Folio nodded again as Noah patted him on the back.

She looked like a shadow sitting all alone up there in the dark. The soft breeze of the night ripped through her hair, causing some of it to flutter in her face. Folio couldn't see it, but he already knew how beautiful she looked. "Now, that's a view," he said, sitting down next to her in the spot where Noah just was. He looked out into the darkness, at the bright lights of the city that lit up the night like the sun. She didn't respond to him in any way, just continued to sit there in silence. From the lights of the city, Folio could now vaguely see the outline of her face, those same features that he would gaze at often while laying next to her in their bed. Her button nose, her pouty pink lips, her soft cheeks, they made his heart flutter, and he wanted nothing more than to lean over and kiss each one. But Folio knew better. She needed her space.

They sat in silence for some time. Folio placed his hands alongside him, stretching out his legs. The slight breeze brought a chill, and he saw her shiver. "Are you cold?" he asked, not expecting her to answer, but she slowly nodded. His heart began to race. "Do you want my hoodie? I know you," "Yes, please," she said quickly, cutting him off. Folio almost slipped off the bus from shock. Regaining his balance, he quickly removed his hoodie and slipped it over her, hearing a satisfying sigh. "Better?" "Better," she whispered.

Feeling overwhelmed with fear, Folio knew he had to address the situation head-on before it was too late. "I fucked up. I know I did, and I'm sorry. I never, ever meant to hurt you. I never meant to hurt us. I was just caught up in the fucking moment and I, shit, I just wasn't thinking. I'm sorry, baby. I'm so fucking sorry for hurting you, for breaking your trust in me, for making think or feel the wrong things.... fuck, I'm sorry." Folio hung his head, placing both hands on either side of his head. He couldn't hold back the little bit of tears that escaped and dripped onto his black jeans. His shoulders shook from the pain he was feeling inside, knowing that nothing he said or did was going to fix what was broken. It was over, and he knew it.

She sat quietly, listening to Folio pour out his heart to her. His apology after apology hit her heart each time like an arrow, piercing the thin layer of anger and pride that had already begun to grow. She knew, without a doubt, that Nick was sorry for what happened, and if she was being completely honest with herself, she was blowing the whole thing a little bit out of proportion. Folio had managed to stop it before it went too far, even though Noah had to step in and help a little. He never touched the girl inappropriately even though she'd managed to run her grubby paws over the one and only thing that could make her weak as fuck and bring out the porn star side of her. Just the thought of someone else trying to stake a claim on what belonged to her infuriated her. Truth was, she wasn't as mad and upset at Folio anymore now that he'd been honest with her and admitted he'd messed up. She guessed maybe that was the only thing her heart needed; to hear Folio apologize and admit he was wrong.

"Thank you." Folio stilled at her words. "What?" he asked, raising his head and staring at her, confused. "Thank you," she repeated, this time turning her head to look at him. His heart fell to the pit of his stomach at just the sight of her beautiful face. God, he was so fucking lucky. "Thank you? For what?" Folio sniffed, sitting up straight as she climbed into his lap. What the hell was happening? She wrapped her legs tightly around his waist, placing her hands on either side of his face. Folio kissed the pads of her thumbs as she ran the back and forth over his lips. "I'm so confused, baby. What are," but his words were cut off by the pressure of her lips against his. The hunger and need Nick felt in just that one kiss was enough to set his world on fire and his nerves ablaze. He fucking wanted her, needed her like the air he breathed. She grinded against him slowly, up and down with her pussy centered right on top of his cock. Whatever was happening, Folio wasn't about to stop it.

"I just have one question, and then we're never talking about it again." The seriousness in her eyes was paralyzing. "Alright. What is it?" Folio asked, swallowing hard. "Would you have fucked her?" "No!" "Why not?" Folio grabbed her hips and pulled her closer into him, loving the slight whimper of a cry he heard in response. "Because she wasn't you, sweetheart, and you're the only one my dick belongs to." His eyes darted between hers, long and hard, until finally she smiled, and after one look at his lips, she kissed him again. Folio allowed her to take full control, using him for whatever she needed him for, because no matter what, he knew she loved him. Her fingers unhurriedly found his belt buckle, and he helped her undo it the second he felt her tug on it. She undid his jeans and pulled them along with his boxers down, lifting his ass up just enough for her to get them to his ankles, where he was able to toss them off.

"Mine," she said, taking Folio’s semi-hard cock into her hands. She wrapped her hand tightly around him and began her magical work of bringing him to the edge of sanity with just the use of her hand. "Oh, my god baby," Folio moaned, leaning back on his hands and throwing his head back, sighing at the feeling. Her fingers pinched his fully hard tip while her thumb spread the pre-cum that seeped from the tiny hole it worked open. This was his Achilles heel. Whether she was using her fingers or her mouth, only she knew it was the quickest and fastest way to make him cum. But that thought was ripped away the moment she removed her hand from him. The sudden loss made him whimper.

Innocently, she stared at him, searching his eyes for something. "What, sweetheart, what are you looking for?" He used a hand to caress the side of her face. She didn't answer, just continued to stare as she pushed her shorts and panties to the side. Holding two fingers up to Folio’s mouth, she told him to spit, to which he willingly obeyed. Using his spit as lubricant, which utterly wrecked Folio, making him wonder how in the fuck he deserved a woman like the one that was about fuck him on the roof of his bands tour bus, she aligned his hard cock against her heated aching pussy and slide herself onto him, biting her bottom lip as he pushed himself in, stretching her like it was first time, again.

"Goddamn, sweetheart, holy fuck!" She never broke eye contact with Folio, even as her pace quickened a little. "Fuck, ughh god baby you feel fucking amazing," he moaned quietly, holding her tightly against him so he could feel every inch of her soaking wet walls. "You're so wet, baby," he panted, already feeling the effects of her tight pussy clenched around his throbbing dick as she continued grinding, nice and slow, on him. "You're hiding something from me. What?" Her question startled him, but it didn't surprise him. Folio knew she could always read him like a book. She stilled with him still buried inside her. "Reach inside the pocket," he told her, eyeing his hoodie she was still wearing. She did as she was told but froze the moment her hand hit the box. "Pull it out." Her gaze was heavily laced with apprehension. "It's okay, just pull it out," Folio encouraged her. She did. The little black box sat perfectly in the palm of her hand.

"Nick," she gulped, her voice trembling. "Open it." Tears filled her eyes, but she bravely opened the box and gasped at the small yet stunning silver diamond ring. "Marry me, please." Folio licked his lips nervously, unable to keep his own tears away. The way she gazed at him made Folio think she was about to say no. She looked from him, to the ring, and then back to Nick. "Okay." Folio swallowed, clenching his jaw. " You will?" He was afraid he didn't hear her right." But she nodded her head. "Yes! I'll marry you, Nick." Without realizing it, Folio released the breath he'd been holding. Taking the small ring from out of the box, he slipped it on the ring finger of her left hand, bringing it to his lips where he kissed it, then placed it against his chest. Without another word, she began moving against him again, this time harder and faster, pulling Folio towards the edge quickly.

"God you fuck me so good baby." Folio whispered the harder she grinded her pussy against him. "That sweet little pussy belongs to this dick, doesn't it?" She nodded quickly. "Holy shit baby, yeah, right there, don't stop. Oh fuck." Folio squeezed his eyes shut, his entire face twisting in a mixture of pleasure and pain as the pressure of release became strong. "Fuck me harder baby girl, you're gonna make me cum!" He clenched her hips tightly, moving her back and forth on him to get her a little deeper. Her lips found his, devouring him as she tasted and the inside of his mouth with her tongue. He pulled her top lip between his and sucked right before pressing his tongue against hers and fighting for dominance. "Fuck yeah baby, right there, shit!" She grabbed his face between her hands and locked him in a deep dark stare. "Cum for me, baby. Cum inside me." Her soft tone and warm whispers was all Folio needed. "Ughh, god- fuck!" Folio bit down on one of his good knuckles, spilling his release inside her and coating her inner walls with his seed. They were both out of breath, panting and hearts racing. She stared at the ring on her finger, unable to stop smiling. "You like it?" Folio asked, finally catching his breath. She looked up at him with a smile. "I love it," she replied, looking back down. Folio could tell she was fighting more tears. " Hey, come here, sweetheart." He pulled her into his chest, wrapping her up tightly with his arms; the place where she always felt the safest. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you." She looked up at him and smiled. "Thank you. I love you, and I forgive you. It's over now. Let's move on." Folio agreed as she laid back into him, still looking at the ring.

"I owe you," Folio said, catching her as she jumped down off the ladder. She grinned, thinking about what Folio did whenever he owed her. He always made up for it in more ways than one. "You bet your ass you do," softly slapping him in the chest. "I might have a few ideas that I know will please my fiancé." Her face lit up with the word. "Fiancé!" Jolly's voice rang out. Folio held up her left hand to show him. "About fucking time, dude!" Jolly exclaimed, giving Folio a hand slap with a hug. "Happy for you, man." "Thanks, Jolly." Folio focused his eyes on her, smiling at the happiness that graced her face. He never thought his fuck up would've led to this, but it did. And now he was the happiest he'd ever been with the only girl he loved.

[starheirxero]

After revisiting your "came back wrong" comic, absolutely wonderful btw, I came to a rather haunting realization.

Because it became true. But instead of Bloodmoon, it's Eclipse. And that's both much worse(for the characters), and much better(for the narrative).

Because both him and Lunar went through the same, and in a way seem to parallel each other, though that's probably me overthinking.

Both of them died. Both of them were blown to smithereens. Both of them came back after several months. Both found themselves in a body not their own. We've seen what they look like in every other universe.

Both of them came back wrong.

Lunar came back numb, quieter than before, with all their energy being a play. He came back running from unknown danger. They died a normal animatronic, and came back being more.

Eclipse is the opposite. He came back louder, erratic, full of madness. Where Lunar is running from unknown danger, he is sprinting towards it, not realizing the consequences until it's to late. Not to forget the star. Eclipse died being somewhat of a god, and came back as nothing more than a plaything, a puppet on a string.

In a twist of fate, they can relate best to each other now, and that might be the worst part for both of them.

Because what is there to do? Even though they understand, even though, one day, they might glance at each other and wonder "Do you feel the same?", they will never be able to confide in each other. Their relationship is beyond repair, and for good reason. Eclipse hurt Lunar, used and ab*sed him, and then blew him up.

This also opens up so much emotional baggage. What will Lunar think? Will he wonder "Do you regret what you did now, knowing how it felt?" Will a part of him feel the smallest bit of satisfaction? Will they ever be able to look at him at all, or will they forever hide away?

What about Eclipse? Will he feel guilty? He seems aware of the damage he has caused the celestial twins, even telling Ruin that he deserves what's coming for him, but he still showed no remorse when he talked to them.

I'm sorry this got so long, I am incredibly emotional about this right now, and I can't even begin to describe, how this makes me feel-

ANON OH MY GHOD /POS

DID YOU KNOW YOU HAVE THE BIGGEST FUCJING BRAIN EVER. DID YOU KNOW YOU'VE CONNECTED THE MOST PERFECT DOTS KNOWN TO MAN. HOLY SHIT.

LUNAR CAME BACK AS MORE AND ECLIPSE CAME BACK AS LESS BUT BOTH CAME BACK WRONG AAIAUAUAYAGAGGGHHHHHH

[poppy-metal]

Sperm donor au

Tashi sleeping with Patrick when her wife is at home

:(((((((( I can't the painnnnnn

She's already insecure. Already feeling less than herself, almost like a single parent some nights. Maybe Art is still the one who sees Tashi in Atlanta (or sooner). And that's another kind of anger because how dare she. She's taking everything from him, and won't even treat you right. Isn't there for *his* daughter. Isn't there for the mother of *his* baby. How dare she.

And if you were to stumble upon a photo of them together... Or something... Well, that wouldn't be his fault. Even if he's the one sending the 'anonymous' message. She's the one cheating on her wife.

stop this is sick (I'm the one doing it) tashi saying she's going on a business trip. you don't even fight her on it because you're used to taking care your baby alone now anyway (we'll call annabella) tashi almost pauses before she leaves, her hand on the door - she sees you with your baby and realizes she doesn't see her as her own - she's tried to feel a connection with anna, but she simply doesn't. and everythings about her - everything you talk about, everything you do, is about the baby. its like you dont have a life or plan on having a life outside of.... this. being a mother. and maybe that's what you signed up for but she's starting to feel like its not what she wants.

she leaves to go on a weekend trip in atlanta with patrick. refuses to let herself think too long about it - the guilt will crush her if he does. and she just wants to feel something selfish.

art probably finds out when he calls patrick - still close friends, after all - and hears a familiar giggle in the background. he knows that giggle. he may have fallen out of love with tashi - but he still remembers everything about her - the sound of her laugh, for one. he used to live for being the reason behind it. now hearing it, now, makes him sick.

"is she with you?" he cuts straight to the point.

"huh?" patrick says and there's rustling like hes getting up from a bed - art imagines them in a hotel somewhere and his gut twists. "is who with me?"

"you know damn well who, patrick."

the other end of the line is silent for a time. and then patrick says, softly so tashi wont overhear - "she's not happy, man."

art already knew - but the confirmation just makes it worse. he closes his eyes. grits his teeth. imagines you at home right now with annabella, none the wiser.

"her wife is at home with their child."

a door clicks. patricks probably locked himself in the bathroom.

"your child." he corrects.

and art inhales. tries to ignore the way that makes his heart jump. his child. his baby. yes, it sounds so right to have it acknowledged. to hear it. to not have to pretend.

but its still not right. he grips the phone.

"this would kill her. you know that? this would devastate her. i thought you cared about her too, christ, patrick, i thought she was your friend. you're fucking her wife?"

he hears patricks shaky breath. he wants to punch him. remembers all the times the four of you hung out and how good natured patrick was with you. how he called himself uncle patty and lifted annabella over his shoulders and grinned. had he been fucking tashi behind your back the whole time?

"i know." he says it plainly. like its something he's already accepted long ago. "i dont feel good about that. neither does tash. but shit - i love her, art -"

art hangs up.

stares at his phone screen - his screen saver a picture of him holding newborn annabella in his arms - you're in the frame too, exhausted in the hospital bed but smiling all the same. he traced his little baby's face, and then yours. could imagine if things were different and he wasn't blinded by his love for tashi for so long - if he'd fallen for you instead, first. had dated you first. had stolen you away for himself. in that future, it would be so easy to believe this was any normal family picture. a proud mother and father. husband and wife.

should he tell you? he imagined the look of heartbreak and struggled with the decision. its not like you'd jump into his arms anyway. selfishly, if that was the case, he'd tell you in a heartbeat. but you loved tashi - genuinely. you'd raised annabella like she had two mothers and no father. you wouldn't just disrupt that just because you were scorned.

maybe he could spend time showing you - what a life with him could be like. so by the time the cards came crashing down you'd have his embrace to fall into.

[respectthepetty]

Pride Petty Watch - LiTA (Rain/Payu) 1

Because I'm petty, I had the crowd pick which blacklisted shows I would watch for the month of Pride. I had planned to space them out more, but due to wacky weather over here (tornadoes, thunderstorms, softball-sized hail, and flash flooding), I had plenty of time to binge watch the first show, Love in the Air, which perfectly aligns with my real life theme of stormy weather, so I'm posting my random thoughts in five parts, two for each couple and the special episode.

I'm seated, I'm watching, and I'm being petty.

It starts at "2:00 AM" - Oh no. Nothing could happens at 2 in the morning, and the time just keeps going. This event isn't even going to begin until 3 AM?! Take me home, NOW! I don't care how fine these men are. I'm stopping for mini churros at Jack in the Box on the way home and going to bed. I'M OUT!

I've seen plenty of pictures of Boss in the past two years, but I still lost my breath a bit when he took off his mask because he was looking delicious in the rain.

RAIN WANTS A GIRL?!

Out of everything I saw about this show, NOBODY mentioned that Rain was trying to get a girl. I'm shook. That's a huge part of the plot I never saw mentioned. There were rumors of the actor (Noeul) being with Milk (of MilkLove), and I saw more of THAT in connection to this show than about him liking a girl within it. Where are y'alls priorities?! *looks at Tonnam and breathes deeply*

Payu's room is IN the garage? But what about the fumes? What about the noise? What about a good work/life balance?!

😬😬😬

I don't care if this boy is snuggling in his sleep, Payu is on my shit list! Instead of being like "oh, I misunderstood the signals," he pushed harder then got upset. Even if Rain secretly does want him, I need a verbalization. This is the end of the first episode, and I'm mad as hell at a bisexual on the first day of Pride. Damn.

Start of episode two and I know Rain's voiceovers are there to make me not be upset at Payu, but . . . I'm pissed at this man! He did all of that work, said it was free, but now there is "another" charge, then he shows up at this boy's school when he could've just talked to him at the shop, and feels him up in the bathroom stall. I am BIG mad!

I will admit, this is hot. Still very mad at my fellow bisexual for him saying he wasn't trying to force himself on Rain (even though he was about to mark a map on that boy's neck), but they got chemistry.

My fellow Slut for Christ, only God can judge you, but know that I am too.

All racetracks look the same so Pit Babe and Cutie Pie could have been filmed here for all I know, but I have this at 1.5 speed, unmuted, so I hear this is a legit hype rap song. WEARETHEGOOD's "Threat" with these colors?! Energy? Matched.

HE IS SPANKING HIM?!

I don't kink shame but both people should be willing participants in this endeavor. Then just to drop him on the floor like that?! That does not inspire trust! This is not Blue Boy behavior, sir! But this lecture after is. That is what I need from you. Remind him that this isn't some petty school shit but actual gangstas he is messing with. Remind him that he can't be reckless. THAT'S HOW BLUE BOYS GET KISSED!

Now it's a competition? Payu wants to fuck Rain so badly he looks stupid, yet Rain is over here saying he is going to make Payu want to fuck him, what? harder? What is this all about?!

What do you mean you didn't want to show Rain your bad side? Has all this been your good side up until this point?! Cause, dead ass, this side ain't looking that great either with you being upset you weren't sleeping with him on the first night and stalking him. So you're going to get worse?

Y'all can't sucker me in with red and blue colors. I Told Sunset About You tried that, and I'm still being petty about it. But whose house are we at now?! This is a different room than before. Payu got multiple places?! In this economy?

Prapai strolling in all happy because he had a good night . . . Sir, I'll get to your ass soon because I know how you got that happiness, and you are on the same shit list as your fellow bisexual bestie.

I am Sky and our judgement cannot be measured.

TWINS?!

All this blue between these two yet they are straight up lyin' every two seconds. The fuckery.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?!

I would've let him turn it in, but I appreciate that he looks so good while looking so sad with that warm glow.

Payu gets one positive point for leaving his arms open for Rain to come to him, but now that warm glow feels sus like maybe I should be paying more attention to Rain's yellow/orange backpack.

And now for a negative point because even though I keep seeing black x white, Payu stays morally grey by playing with this boy's emotions and hiding from him in his own shop! These after scenes are not doing Payu any favors.

Payu, do I like you? Do I hate you? Do I wanna fuck you? Do I wanna kick you in the balls? All of the above?

Guess I'll find out in the next three episodes.

[epickiya722]

I know people who justify Bakugou and how he behaved because he was being abused. And all I can think was how bullshit that it.

Todoroki was abused, and it was honestly worse, and he didn't do that. Sure he was a hero, but he pushed people away.

I don't mean to trauma dump, but I was neglected and had a unhappy childhood. I didn't go around doing what Bakugou did.

I will say Bakugou did get better, but it really annoys me seeing people justify his behavior in middle school.

...I forgot people do that. Even Bakugou admits that how he behaved is wrong??

It's something that a character will do something wrong and do things to better themselves while also admitting that their previous actions were garbage... that's growth... and the "fans" will make excuses for them.

That actually reminds me of a post I saw so long ago of this person being "anti Midoriya" because Bakugou cried. Mind you they were talking about from season ONE. That time Bakugou confronts Midoriya after their first class battle? Yeah, that part. Apparently, Midoriya was in the wrong for hiding his Quirk away from him even though by that time they weren't even close, Midoriya had to hide his Quirk to protect people, and it wasn't his business.

It's "fans" like that I will never get because shifting the blame onto another character does nothing for the story!

"Fans" giving excuses takes away from that character's development, thinking about it.

Their wrongs should be acknowledged just as much as their rights that way you get a better understanding of that character and why they developed the way they did.

Characters can also be a reflection of how we are. Text to self connection!

There are been people who have been abused and wouldn't treat others the same way. Todoroki is that character here. He was abused and the most he did was be isolated from the class at first.

Now, there was that moment of Endeavor angering him and Sero end up getting the worst of that (every time I think about it, I just cringe because that ice scares me). I get it was a match, but still it just... eh...

The thing with some of these characters is that what happens to them does affect what they do to others. Pointing out the causes shouldn't be used to justify their actions. It's to understanding the story.

Example: Toga had a terrible life and in turn, she ended up the way she did. To point out her bad life isn't to justify her actions, however some people in the fandom probably have does so. Her bad life is the cause that should recognized why she does and behaves the way she does to understand. Not excuses.

But what's crazy is that those same people who will defend Bakugou will condemn Toga. Hmm... I wonder...

No matter their past and what they do later, wrong is wrong. Recognizing that wrong as wrong will help determine what can be done to make a situation better.

I do feel like it's gotten to the point in fandoms that haters of a character will go "if you like this character, you're just like them" so the fans of that character feel like they have to make excuses of their wrong actions. And it sucks.

Then, like the haters, they're not really getting that character's development or ignoring it. Bakugou is one of those characters.

Haters be pressed about people actually liking certain characters instead of just moving on. There are some characters that aggravate me, but I do not care if people like them. Yeah, I would be curious as to why they're like, but I know people will feel the same about my favorites and I just move on because it's a waste of my time.

Excuse my language, folks, but fuck those haters. Acknowledge that your fave have done wrong and this whole "If you like this character you're problematic" is stupid. I'm sorry, it is. "Problematic" is on the list of words I can't stand, have been misused too much and should be taken away from the fandom.

Anyways!

Bakugou knows he was an ass in middle school, no one made excuses for it. No, folks, not even Midoriya because he even comments that what Bakugou said was wrong. It's okay to admit that he was a jerk in middle school and still like him.

Characters are parts of a story, they serve to entertain and tell that story. If you happen to like that character, then the writer has done that job in entertaining you and giving a compelling story.

Okay, I'm rambling here. Sorry about that!

[whatspastisprologue-blr]

Because 2 of my biggest hyperfixations are Interview with the Vampire and The Amazing Devil, here we go....

"Little Miss Why So" is, to me, based on my interpretation of the song, very much applies to Loustat in S1. To me, Madeleine is singing from the perspective of someone who is very depressed and who has a partner who is trying to cure her by, basically, loving her out of it. This is, to me, confirmed by the few lines that Joey sings, as though if he does enough good things for her, if he just shows her how much he loves her, she'll snap out of it. (And it doesn't work and they split up.)

I've been thinking about it a lot but especially in relation to the animation in S2E7 that depicts Lestat constantly doing things to make Louis happy/cure him of depression, while it doesn't work and Rue Royale gets more and more dilapidated until they can't even see each other over the mountain of newspapers, books, and other things. (I am completely sympathetic to Louis, btw, but I also know how scary and helpless it is to love someone and want to help them but you can't.)

Throughout LMWS, Madeleine lists all the things Joey's character has said or done and she sounds so exhausted, and there's this repeated "he said", and then she starts going into a mantra of sorts: "It's so boring, it's so boring, it's so boring....." And she caps it off with "et cetera" like she's just too bored to keep going but she could if she wanted to.

There's a few parts I want to call out specifically:

"I don't know how to reach you when you get like this. I've been waiting for you to come home."

This is Lestat's frustration, basically. He keeps trying to reach Louis and nothing is working. Even when Louis is home, physically, he's not present (I've seen great meta about Louis having a disassociative disorder). Special mention here to the line, "It's daylight again and you look like I've failed you." Lestat is a provider; it's something that he takes pride in and enjoys, whether it's his human family eating food that he hunted, or how he sent money and gifts to his human family after becoming a vampire, or the things he buys for Louis and Claudia.

"If I'm good, will you come back?"/"Stop asking why I'm sad, just know it's enough to know I'm sad." Madeleine and Joey are literally singing over each other here, singing at the same time. Their characters are speaking past each other. They're not listening to each other. Joey's character just wants to know how to fix her, what he has to do to get her to come back for him. Madeleine's character is just exhausted from having to provide reasons why she feels the way she does. Worse, her character continues (as though quoting Joey's), "Yeah, but why?" He's still asking her. He's not leaving her alone about it because he's obsessed with figuring out the problem so he can solve it. And it's driving her away.

"Why don't you just tell them all to fuck off, love, and be mine?" ("Them" probably being "those wankers that you serve all night".) For Lestat, "them"/"those wankers" is probably all of Louis's human connections.

As others have pointed out, "The Rockrose and the Thistle", another of TAD's songs, is a good example of how to love someone through depression instead of trying to love them out of it (too bad Lestat couldn't have heard it back then).

And while I could probably relate several other songs from The Amazing Devil to Interview with the Vampire, I'll just leave ya'll with this line from "Battle Cries": "This isn't a breakup, dear heart, it's a season finale!"

(Also, if you've listened to Little Miss Why So and you think that Joey sounds like Jaskier from Netflix's The Witcher, that's because it is! The Amazing Devil has 3 albums out, in case you want to hear more of his and Madeleine's phenomenal voices. Now, off you go, to be spellbound by these beautiful lovely Fae creatures!)

[mayisgoingnuts]

Hi can I infodump about Roy and my interpretation w/ him when it comes to coping mechanism regards sexual abuse to you?

Click here to allow me 👇 (long text)

.

To be honest I don't think he'll leave the more ""stereotypical"" type of victim bubble since 1- He's not a big focus in the show and 2- It's quite complicated and I don't know if Sr Pelo and the team would go that deep, but I like to overanalyze things. With that being said:

It feels off for me when he's shown as easily affected whenever his uncle is mentioned. I personally don't see it as HIM.

It's vague and anyone can see it whatever they like, it's 100% fine, but Roy is just... stubborn and ignorant. Those are two of his biggest traits and it's impossible for it not to affect how he deals with that trauma; he already has to deal with arrogant parents (mostly mother), not being himself even if he wants to (what pretty much hurts his natural ego), so being aware that even ANOTHER member of your family took advantage of you in even worst ways is basically a shot straight to the head. He's fighting something already and he'll definitely be in denial with a second one, not to mention that if people actually began to act all "soft" after finding that out IT'D MAKE THINGS WORSE.

It's literally the same as going to someone who wants to be seen as superior and mock him by treating them like a baby. It'll just make him try harder and harder to be taken seriously, including trying to ignore the trauma more and more.

And to be honest, even if he told his parents he'd stay in denial. Carmen and Richard are questionable parents but they're not monsters like some people think they are, they'd offer help and ask him what they want and need to know, but it changes nothing on how they treated him before nor his personality will suddenly change. I also have a lot to talk about his relationship with his parents, but that's for another one if I feel like it.

Now coming back to the beginning, when I mention that he doesn't get triggered when his uncle is the topic, I see it like that because his mind couldn't properly see the uncle as an enemy. He knows that what happened is wrong and that he's an asshole, but I'm talking about something more personal. A poor example for the sensation itself: You eat in a restaurant, and weeks later you find out that the waiter spit in your food. Will you come back? No. Are you also full MAD at him? Also no. You got angry in the first moments, sometimes still do, but you didn't even saw anything wrong with your food back then. You recognized it, but your brain didn't.

Now, when it's the sexual abuse itself, it affects him way more mostly because it makes him feel stupid, paranoid and dare I say disgusted maybe. I admit, that part is mostly me projecting, but it still makes sense in a way. It's more of a internal change instead of an external one (are those the right words?), since the consequences isn't as obvious and explicit if you did recognized the scene as a trauma at the time. You may not be against physical touch, but you may struggle interacting nicely afraid that you'll mess up again. I hope I didn't messed up on that part, or any at all--

ALRIGHT, briefly, Roy don't want sympathy, but he needs empathy, just like his friends are doing. They know what Roy goes through and still won't let him do whatever he wants, don't try babysitting him nor desperately tries to search for help right away like that. He's focused on his parents and can't handle even more trauma right now, and if he does start to try helping himself it'll be when he's older and don't have as much ego as he does now.

Ty for reading and I am SO SO sorry if I said anything shitty, sexual abuse is a topic that I always had some sort of interest on (studying and talking about), so I tend to think about it a lot specially when a hyperfixation is included.

EDIT: Just wanted to add that Roy's anger issues are also a nice response to everything I just said (nice in a "it connects" way, not good), someone as low-tempered as himself wouldn't be able to handle with the pressure of "You need to vent" without "exploding", thinking that his abuse consequently made him weaker and less worth of respect; "That shit just makes everything worse, so it's easier if I just ignore it!"

[generalluxun]

That Chloe line... like I get it. Bullying is an explanation for why someone can become like how Shadybug became, and Chloe did bully Marinette, but at the same time it also felt so weird and... took me out of the moment? It felt so out of place? Idk how I feel about it, I kinda felt a little uncomfortable, but I can't really articulate why. Maybe the reason it feels like that is because TA's hateboner for Chloe has been so pronounced and in our face that anything calling out Chloe for her actions instantly feels like TA acting out on his impulse to make her look bad instead of proper character writing, and that's why we don't like it. If it weren't for his history of hating on her character, maybe it wouldn't come off so badly. But it feels like a shoehorned in line now because of that context. Idk.

All of what you say is true but there is also a basic non-TA answer as to why it feels weird:

Chloé isn't mentioned or shown at any other point in the entire special.

For a name drop like this to pay off, there needs to he a setup. It doesn't need to he complex, but it has to be there. Marinette could gripe to Alya about how Chloé will mock Ladybug in school after the events of Strikeback. Emonette could run across a journal entry mentioning Chloé in Marinette's diary, her facial expressions hinting at the pain.

All it has to do is make her exist so that people watching the special can make the connection without outside info. It allows the audience to stay in the moment.

The other solution would simply have been to not have emonette name her bully. Just mention being constantly bullied. Those who know more will connect the dots. Those who don't can just take it at face value without a whole specific person being conjured into the special for one single line at what is supposed to be an emotional bonding point between the two Marinettes.

It also makes the second half of S5 look worse (which is S5's fault not the special) Marinette's calm here flows perfectly with her statement to Scoqueline in Illusion(the next ep) that Chloé is the least of her problems. This is a Marinette who us over it, which makes sense considering how for 4 seasons she has handled Chloé without trouble.

It doesn't gel with the Marinette who is cringing on the floor and needs Zoé to save her, who suddenly can't take Adrien's hand, who is living with PTSD. Who needs to be coaxed into even the most basic displays of expression.

Tl:dr: Name was shoehorned in bc hate or laziness. Could have been done right. Special was still good. S5 after Elation is still an utter trainwreck.

[amaiaqt]

ㅤㅤㅤㅤミㅤlet the wind carry my love to youㅤ⋆ ｡˚ㅤ♡ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤnot even the ocean that separates you will stop ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤhis loving antics ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤheizou !

"anonymous order; ....a long distance relationship with heizou where he and his s/o send letters to one another."

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤthis is kind of set during the vision hunt decree when ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤit was near impossible to travel into inazuma just bc ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤplease enjoy, xoxo ♡

shikanoin heizou, in his line of work, was familiar to the difference of professional and unprofessional letters. he knew how to write with just in his words, he knew how to get his point across, he knew to be serious and unbiased.

but when it comes to writing just how much he misses you, it's different. it's not that it's difficult for him to express his feelings through paper, it's just not the same as getting to talk to you in person. he prefers telling you about his day over a cup of tea with you right beside him, instead of doing so by writing it down on a paper and having to re-do it several times whenever his handwriting looks even a little off or uneven.

he doesn't only miss you, he misses you being there for him. there for him to come home to, there for him to hug and kiss as soon as he walks through the door, there for him to snuggle his face in your chest after a long, hectic day.

but even if he wants you physically with him, he'd rather you be safe.

he can hold his own during the vision hunt decree with the tenryou commission, he can protect himself. but when it came to you, even if he wants to, he knows it would've been a risk he's not willing to take. as much as he wants to protect you himself, as much as he wanted to reassure himself that he can protect you by himself, he knew if he failed, the penalty for you, a non-inazuman citizen, would've been far worse than what he would get. he would lose his vision, but you would possibly lose your life.

he can't take that risk. just the thought of it made him choke on the air around him and rendered him unable to breathe for a few seconds.

he knew you'd be safer far away, in liyue, and he knew to put his connections to good use to make sure the communication between you two wouldn't be cut. so that day, he gave you one last, long, loving kiss on the lips as he hugged you tightly. he hesitated to let you go, "i'm sorry, love, if only i could, we wouldn't have to stray so far." he kissed your cheek, his hold around your waist was still tight. "i trust your decision for me, heizou. i'm just worried about you.." to your response, a tear formed at the corner of his eye. "don't worry, i'll send letters as often as i can." he promised.

he promised those letters to you, and he would never be able to call himself a man if he broke such a special promise. he snapped out of his train of thoughts when he realized a few tears have dripped onto the letter he was currently writing, already dried. he wiped away the rest of the tears that threatened to stain his cheeks as he dipped the pen in ink again.

" . . . i hope you're enjoying at least a little bit in liyue, love. don't let the fact we're not physically together stop you for having even a little bit of fun ! i know how you get, after all.

inazuma is still a catastrophe, supplies here have been scarce and the prices has raised just because of that. and for the commission, jobs have been entirely a mess. . . ."

a soft smile tugged his lips up, as he wondered what you've been keeping yourself busy with in liyue. he's aware you have relatives there, and old friends, so he has hopes that they're keeping your spirits up.

". . . we'll be together again soon, i promise you, and i'm not one to go back on my word, you should know.

i miss you so, so much, love. and i hope that when you feel the breeze brush against your skin, that you think of me. much like how i think about you when i pass by a beautiful meadow of flowers. . . ."

he continues to write for hours late into the night, chuckling to himself when he remembers how you'd scold him for doing such so late, but now you were the reason he's writing so late.

as much as he prefers telling you about his day in person, as long as you're safe, he doesn't mind smelling your signature perfume and pretending you're there. he sighs, smelling the robe he was wearing that he happened to spray with your favorite perfume earlier.

oh, how he misses you so..

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ© amaiaqt, 2023 ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤdo not plagiarize !

[ilikekidsshows]

What do you mean Adrien need more respect can you elaborate more because it wasn't the only time I see you said it

The way I see it, 'Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir' made a mistake in the very way the show is designed: they constructed a setting where everything hints at Adrien being a main character or at least a secodary character, but he's actually not. The show basically lies to the viewer about what to expect when it comes to Adrien's character. And I tend to have a pretty big beef with shows that lie to me.

The show is called "Miraculous: Tales of Ladybug and Cat Noir", Adrien's father is the literal main villain of the series, all the minor villains have a personal connection with him and his family has a long history with the Miraculous items. Meanwhile Marinette is just some girl from a bakery next to the school he goes to. The show's very story engine, the construct that creates the stories told in it, puts a lot of weight on stuff connected to Adrien when it comes to the superhero action, while Marinette's story engine connection are her feelings for Adrien, which generate the romantic comedy plots.

All the lore in Miraculous revolves around Adrien. You'd think that this would mean that Adrien would have a vital role in uncovering this lore as Marinette is the one who saves the day. You'd think Adrien's nearest and dearest being villains would be delved into some more since it's such a recurring thing. But none of this happens. Instead the show goes out of its way to make sure that anything that should be about Adrien and how he feels about it, is made to be about Marinette and how she feels about it.

Adrien discovers the Miraculous grimoire in his home, but the episode goes out of its way to make sure Marinette gets her hands on it and is the one who gets to meet Fu and become his student, while Adrien is left out on the lurch. Marinette is the one with an arc of realizing just how evil Gabriel is as she grows past her idolization of him, which might be building up to her being the one of the heroes who figures out he's Hawkmoth first. Marinette is also the one invested in Chloé's failed attempt at becoming a hero, while Adrien's feelings on Queen Bee are never brought up.

Season four ruined Adrien's relationships with every single character who isn't Marinette or Plagg and I think the only reason Plagg was spared is because they literally can't remove that relationship from the show. 'Rocketeer' exists solely so that Adrien won't tell Nino about him being Cat Noir, so that Adrien doesn't get a confidant like Marinette gets in Alya. This makes it so that Adrien will have less screen time to talk about his duties and life. The point is to make sure Marinette has more screen time.

The fallout of Marinette and Luka's relationship ending is depicted from Marinette's perspective, to show how she's getting by after the breakup. The fallout of Adrien and Kagami's relationship ending is depicted from Marinette's perspective as well, to show how she's feeling about Adrien and Kagami breaking up. We still don't have a single scene of Adrien and Kagami discussing their failed relationship outside of the breakup scene, which they absolutely had to include. The writers don't actually want to write about Adrigami, it only existed to make Marinette angst for the dramatic season three finale.

The way Nino and Kagami get removed from Adrien's support network is solely because the writers don't want to write about Adrien's relationships. They only care about writing about Marinette. I'm not saying this lightly. This is a consistent pattern in the show. The same happens in any situation where Adrien has a strong emotional response to something, and the writers sideline Adrien's emotions by having Marinette be even more upset by it or by giving Marinette something worse to deal with.

In the New York Special, Adrien kills someone and quits. This grief is sidelined in the narrative to focus on Marinette having an emotional breakdown about not being there to help Paris and then later angsting about Adrien quitting. The matter is resolved not by dealing with Adrien's grief, but by him coming back for Marinette's sake. The Cat Blanc timeline is not important for Adrien's character, despite the point of Akumatization being character development, it only exists so that Marinette can be upset about it. We know this because Adrien never finds out about it, while Marinette gets nightmares about it. In season four, Adrien gets pushed aside by Marinette constantly, and he is understandably hurt by this and quits. The episode then has him "learn" that Marinette needs his emotional support so much that he should come back and cater to her needs and ignore his own. In 'Destruction', Adrien once again Cataclysms someone, and once again the writers shoehorn in Marinette being upset about not being able to fix it. The best Adrien can manage on his emotions being taken into account by the writers is a few seconds of getting equal screentime with Marinette's.

The season four finale is what makes this writing bias obvious when the part in the story where Adrien was logically supposed to discover just how much Marinette had been keeping from him gets pushed aside by Marinette having an emotional breakdown about Félix tricking her and stealing all the Miraculous. The writers' priorities seem to be that Adrien's feelings on anything don't matter, only Marinette's. Whenever Adrien is justified in being hurt, the writers hurt Marinette worse so that they can ignore him and focus on Marinette instead. They also constantly keep information from him that the other characters should be giving him while not calling out these characters for keeping very important information from him. The important thing about said information control is that it’s always information that Adrien would do something about or have strong feelings about. It’s another sign that the writers don’t want to write about Adrien.

(This paragraph has been edited for more accurate information on the episode ‘Emotion’. The previous misinformation got mixed up because of a spoiler so now this post is accurate and spoiler-free.) The season four finale pivoted Félix into the role of the primary villain in Miraculous after Gabriel. However, in season five, Marinette gets top billing in the episode where he is convinced of the error of his ways, not his cousin Adrien, who Félix has wronged in every single one of his appearances and whose feelings about that this episode is supposed to address. The writers only allow Adrien to have his say once he’s been missing for most of the episode/Marinette has had enough screen time. The sidelining of Adrien and Félix interactions in favor of Marinette content is more on the whole "not allowing Adrien relationships outside of Marinette" thing they've been pushing since season four. Any relationship Adrien has only gets the minimum possible amount of screen time. It’s also part of a different pattern of Marinette and her feelings still getting focus in episodes that should be about Adrien, his family and his feelings, since we also had the episode with the anniversary of Adrien’s mother’s death have another confession attempt from Marinette and ‘Gabriel Agreste’ shoehorned in an entire Marinette subplot. The only time this series had a genuine Adrien-focused episode was when he and Kagami broke up, which I already stated was something the writers just couldn’t resonably exclude. 4% of this show’s episodes deal with things to do with Adrien, but only 1/4 out of those episodes puts focus on Adrien over Marinette.

Mariette’s romantic relationships in this show are really lopsided as well. We all know that it's a gender role cliche for women to always do the emotional labor in a relationship and to offer comfort, but Miraculous "solves" this one-sidedness by reversing it. Marinette's love interests are her biggest emotional support. Every finale has either Adrien or Luka swooping in to comfort her while she's having an emotional breakdown. Even Cat Walker is presented as a romantic option through having him swear emotional labor to Ladybug. Meanwhile Marinette never has to comfort her love interests because they're very skilled at hiding their emotions. This might be another symptom of the writers just not wanting to focus on characters other than Marinette, but I have seen that even progressive people in terms of women's issues tend to balk at the idea of men seeking out emotional support and comfort. Marinette and Luka breaking up the instant Luka needed more emotionally from Marinette does lean towards this former bias since Luka is allowed to have emotional needs as long as he doesn't ask Marinette to help with them. But, regardless of the reason for it, the end result is that Marinette's love interests are more emotional support dispensers than equal partners. The writers don't want Marinette to have boyfriends, they want her to have servants who cater to her needs, because she’s the main character and her boyfriend is her prize that she wins in the end.

This show has no respect for Adrien as a character. It seemed like he was set up as the secondary main character, only for him to be consistently treated as nothing more than Marinette's love interest. The writers only write as much about him as they absolutely have to. The fact that Adrien is also an abuse victim whose story is strictly about how little control he has of his life makes this all even worse, because the writers are actively removing any control he might have on the narrative as well. They're not doing this for the sake of theming, because then they would focus on his feelings about this. It's all for the sake of not having anything derail from their singular main lead. Adrien is a prop for Marinette, not his own character. And I’m too invested in Adrien’s character to be cool with this.

The thing about any of this is that if it was just any one of these matters alone, or even just a few of them, it wouldn’t be such a big deal. Nothing is perfect, after all. But it’s this much stuff, and I’m sure this isn’t even all of it. It’s not only a consistent pattern, it’s a constant pattern, and it’s made me lose my patience with this show. It’s obvious these problems aren’t going to be mitigated, because they aren’t problems, it seems to all be on purpose because it keeps getting worse. Maybe it’s backlash at those Toxic Adrien Stans who want Adrien to be the main character in Marinette's place, so the writers diminish his role to drive home the point that he’s supposed to be Marinette’s support and will never usurp her role. The reasons don’t matter, all that matters is that the end result is my favorite character being treated like garbage.

[soo-won]

The real tragedy with Jaeha to me, outside of the recent events, is his realization that he's losing his usefulness for yona, and even starts to chain her down. I think. This is all in my head for now truly but I'm like,, damn he sure is taking the L a lot recently! so I pray this will be adressed later on but you know at the beginning of the castle arc when he tells Yona hey I told you I was your legs :) and she rejects him, because she can't risk it. Like, Yona wasn't in the wrong here, it's just that Yona in the castle arc was entering a battle that has no need for the dragons' powers. People in the castle arent chained literally, they're chained by their duties and the isolation that comes with having more power and information. That distance is not something that can be crossed literally by flying away. But anyway it was still painful for both of them, Jaeha quickly connects the dots and understands the reason behind that, but that only makes him more willing to find a way to help.

Then he is deployed in Kin Province, and as he realizes that Hak is fighting there he makes it his new goal to bring him to Suwon, only to fail to save him from the flooding, as he sees him be engulfed in that wave under his very eyes, and can't find any trace of him for days after it happens. Losing Hak is devastating enough given how much he cares for him, but it adds to the hypothetical feeling that he failed and his leg couldn't bring him to Hak in time.

But it's fine, his presence alone is enough, he is loved and he's like a big brother to Yona, if she needs comfort, because hell this is about hak obviously she will be devastated, he can comfort her...and then Yona hides her sorrow from him and confides to Suwon of all people instead. Sure breaking down in front of Suwon wasn't her intent at all, but she still did in the end. Yona used to cry and confides to Jaeha before (like in the Sei forts arc when she failed to protect Lili), so why? And how not to be jealous of Suwon that seems to have a bond with her that even death and betrayal will never completely break?

He plays an important role in the battle against Kai, so sure, at least his powers still have some use and raises the moral of the troops as well, but now these same powers causes terror instead.

And before that he got captured, again, and as much as Yona defied our expectations and showed her development with a cycle of similar events but a better outcome and way of dealing with it (ie: kidnapping scenario), that is not the case for the dragons. Yona had complete control over her capture, it was her plan, and she could free herself with her own power. Yona is moving ahead of them, never intending to leave them behind, but she doesn't depend on their powers at all anymore.

So really, what does Jaeha have left at this point? Now Yona is the one who has to save him from his own powers! Jaeha who refused to join Yona at first because he didn't want to be chained down by destiny and a prophecy is now the one chained her down oh the irony of it all...

It's no surprise that Jaeha would decide to leave the ddhhb for good, his legs literally can't bring him to them anymore and worse he risks to hurt them, no matter how much he wants to come home, to them, he just can't. He can't be what Garou was to him and selfishly weights them down.

Since the beginning of the castle arc he sees again and again that Yona and Hak are doing fine without him. If Yona is in a pitch or needs comfort there are other people she can seek out. Jaeha wanted to help Hak reach Suwon and in the end he did it all on his own (Just to be clear Hak could obviously not have emotionally done it without Jaeha's support). The encampment arc ended up being resolved by everyone but the dragons, the story in general is at a point where their utility reached their limit, so what now?

The crimson illness is very tied to the mental state of those who have it, worsening when they're under stress and emotional turmoil, so I don't think it's too farfetched to theorize it might be the same for the dragons now. Kija is able to resist it because he has always been the most strong willed and stable of them. So yeah tbh more than Jaeha dying to me I think it's more him isolating himself to protect yona&co and he's not done done for. for now. I don't think he's lying about reaching the end of his lifespan etc(it's the same word as the end of an object's useful life in japanese btw.) but anyway oh well. All that to say I don't think he's dead and this is very much the occasion to finally break the connection the dragons have with their tragic fate and their powers that bring far more bad than good. What Jaeha needs is the reassurance that he is needed and that this does not depend on his powers at all.

[super-hero-confessions]

Billy Butcher is a genuinely worse person than Homelander and this is plain to see when you actually read the comics.

Homelander actually feels disgusted with himself when he does bad things. And he only does them because he's been led to believe he was horrible without actually having done any of the shit he's blackmailed for in the photos and videos. Including what happened to Becky.

If it's not clear. It was Black Noir, a clone of Homelander, who put on his costume, did those terrible things and enjoyed them, and then took pictures and videos to frame Homelander. Noir was the one to rape Becky, but Homelander got the blame.

And the very few things we actually see Homelander do show us how much revulsion he feels from doing them, to the point where he throws up and has a visceral reaction, like he doesn't actually want to and isn't used to it. Asking himself "what have I done?".

That's far from a spoiler at this point, these comics have been out in full, for several years now. I'm not gonna pull punches or be dishonest about it like some people confessing weird out of context bullshit either.

In contrast.

Butcher kills all of his friends, excuse me. All of the people he used and lied to and made believe he was actually their friend, with no remorse or second thought. Or at least tries to.

Kimiko. Frenchie. MM. Even Vas (Love Sausage). All of them die by Billy's hands. For no other reason beyond.

"They're supes."

Despite the fact that this is after he discovered he was wrong about Homelander the whole fucking time.

Down to trying to kill MM's momma. Down to killing Janine's fucking mother in front of her so that she witnesses it. And then makes sure MM knows that for Billy, he "ain't got no mates".

Hughie is the only one to survive because after killing the others, Butcher threatens to kill Starlight and says he won't stop unless Hughie stops him.

There's no question here. Butcher was always the bigger monster. He just didn't have the power to be as bad as Homelander could be. Potentially.

Potentially. And that is a huge fucking key word.

Barring the fact that Homelander never actually met that potential or even wanted it. Noir was the actual monster, using Billy to confuse him into believing he had, so he would try. Just so the clone could swoop in kill him.

Imagine that.

And there are still people deranged enough to think there's any kind of contest on who's worse between Billy and Homelander?

Fuck's sake, this guy immediately kills a fucking premie baby instead of trying to pacify it because it's terrified out of its mind and has powers it can't control. With a lamp.

I love the show, I love the portrayals and the jobs done by the actors. I think it does a great job touching on the important topics and themes in the comics while connecting it to current events. I do hope it has a different ending. But one thing's clear.

While the characters are fundamentally the same at their cores. They made Billy softer and sweeter while they made Homelander harder and more ruthless in order to make the dynamic more mainstream and less controversial. Which is honestly a bit disappointing.

It also makes me a little worried because if they don't find a way to navigate that well, it may mean they've messed up the finish line before we could ever reach it. They could definitely go for something more comic accurate or even include Billy killing Ryan and just not caring anymore as per typical Butcher fashion, but given that they've already chickened out on some of the more intense stuff, I can't say it's high in the hopes factor.

And a happy ending doesn't exactly feel appropriate either.

But who knows, maybe the set up is there specifically to make everything hurt that much more in the end if or when Billy betrays everyone.

And this is coming from someone who is ecstatic to see Homelander go on a chaotic rampage of blood, death, and destruction. Bring it the fuck on you goddamn chaos cockteases.

But yeah, no. It's no contest. Billy is a far worse character than Homelander in the comics, and he has the potential to get a lot worse in the show. He's not there yet, but it's pretty clear he actively wants to be and it's grating him that he isn't yet.

Guess it'll be interesting to see if that comes to fruition or if there's even some crazy twist that shows us Homelander isn't as bad as people think.

[cat-vase]

other thing similar to the bryce stuff that i think you may be interested in!

Owen was most likely interrogated by police about Liams disappearance since he was the last one to see Liam before he vanished (BOTH TIMES not counting bryce or the cashier+waiter in ep15), which means there’s the possibility of Owen being wrongly convicted… despite the fact that there may not be much evidence against him.

(same thing goes for Parker regarding Charlotte’s disappearance since he was AT HER HOUSE and had a reason to be mad at her, leading the police to believe he possibly murdered her over the money..?)

Someone pointed out to me once that it was likely Owen who REPORTED Liam missing in the first place! How else would the police know it was LIAM'S bike instead of... literally anyone else's? He probably got cleared of suspicion since there's likely outside security footage of Liam leaving the office alone (and Owen leaving alone, too!) Assumming this because... well. Everything has cameras everywhere nowadays.

But yeah!!! I'm sure he was questioned but since Liam literally disappeared into thin air, they couldn't find anything to convict him? Or anybody else, either? Or anything to use... to figure out where he was? Hence presuming him dead!!! Which sucks for Owen, especially if he finds out about the smokestack incident somehow (and that it happened BEFORE he saw Liam???), but what can you do!

But oh my god Parker. I have so many thoughts about Parker you have no idea. Not a lot of people talk about Charlotte I feel and even then, if they do they DON'T talk about Parker and that is a CRIME.

He saw her disappear in front of his eyes! Mid sentence! There was still dinner cooking in the kitchen and jazz playing on the TV! Wouldn't that send him into some sort of anxious spiral? Or psychotic break? Wouldn't he be unsure if she ever existed or not?

And his job is a brand associate! Wouldn't that make him in the public eye, at least somewhat? If he went crazy people would SEE and KNOW. He might be arrested on suspicion of murder? Or institutionalized? Or go off the grid? Maybe he starts to pay for her place and cover up her disappearance in order to try and investigate it! Maybe he searches every single forum he can online, stringing together other random disappearances of this nature whether or not they're actually connected! Maybe he takes something of hers to convince himself that yes, she WAS real! He can't tell anyone else in his friend group about this, of course. They'll think he did something to her, and he would never. He just wanted her to be okay. Is she okay, wherever she is? He hopes she's okay. He just wants her to come back. He's not mad about the money anymore. He's sorry he yelled. Please just come back. One day she has to, right? In the same manner she disappeared? He can't get rid of her place now, what if she came back and he wasn't there?

Maybe he posts incomprehensible ramblings on a website he makes in order to make sure he doesn't lose them, but also so he can stay anonymous. He goes on outings for days searching and never turns up any leads, of course. In the beginning his friends try to interact with him; they fear for his safety, he's so JUMPY, and he has an accident and falls in one of the caves they've been to a thousand times. He just gets more closed off after that. He becomes more and more like the person he's trying to find: No, he's FINE, he can find her on his OWN, he doesn't NEED help, he's perfectly fine and sane.

And maybe, if he's not locked up somewhere or done something to hurt himself, maybe he DOES see her come back someday. She's in a worse state than she left in.

But that's a whole different can of worms.

[leojurand]

i see people on booktwt praising the radiant emperor duology very often and every time, instead of remembering that i actually had fun reading those books, i think about how flawed they are, and i wish i could understand the endless praise they get. but i sadly do not.

and then i remembered a tweet by shelley parker-chan about dunnett and her novels that actually explains, in a way, why their writing doesn't work for me. the tweet was a reply to someone and it was:

but Dunnett in general never feeds me the (emotional) food and I get frustrated. like bitch these power plays are so good but why don’t you make it JUICY. don’t make me have to use my imagination

it's actually very funny how this explains exactly the problems i have with their duology. clearly, dunnett is a big fan of subtlety. also very clear, SPC is not, and doesn't utilize it much (at all) in their novels.

and the complete lack of subtlety is something that really bothered me in the radiant emperor duology. that, hand in hand with the endless repetition, makes sure you don't have to use your imagination when it comes to the characters. ever. you will be told how they feel about each other and about what's happening and about what they've done and will do. constantly

but that, for me at least, doesn't make you connect with those characters more, and it doesn't make them more complex (in fact, sometimes they feel like two emotions in a trenchcoat lol). of course too little emotional food can leave you hungry, but too much can cause indigestion

the thing is, i don't need dunnett to tell me that, for example, nicholas was battling with the pain of gelis's betrayal and the profound grief of the loss of his closest friend post-SoG. i know he's dealing with those feelings, i'm seeing it, because he fucked off to be a menace in scotland and he's wearing all black and he's kidnapping people to torment them for a while (lol). and that's so much more interesting than writing paragraph after paragraph of his emotional breakdown. because, yes, i can use my imagination. i like doing that!

would the lymond chronicles be better if we got descriptions of how lymond is drowning in pain and self-hatred during basically every chapter in RC or CM? it's obvious that that's what's happening to him. i think it would actually make the books and the character worse, because doing that doesn't fit who lymond is, just like it wouldn't fit nicholas.

the constant repetition of how zhu, ouyang, and baoxiang feel are not "juicy" to me. they're fine characters and i like them. i would even say they're pretty interesting! but you could pretty much define each of them with a couple of words and you would get like. 90% of who they are. no subtlety. no imagination.

you can't define lymond with two or three or ten words. same with nicholas. even dunnett's characters who seem more simple and straightforward, like richard or julius, are more complex than that

another thing is that focusing so much on the emotional journey of the characters means that other parts of the book are completely neglected. the radiant emperor duology is a low fantasy historical fiction. but the historical part of it is given almost no attention at all. if i pick a histfic book, i want to feel immersed in the time period it's portraying. that didn't happen at all while reading these two books. you may like dunnett's minute historical details more or less (hell, i'm a huge fan and even i want to skip most of the historical mumbo jumbo in some of her novels (the ringed castle)), but goddamn she makes you feel immersed in the 15th and 16th centuries

anyway, the conclusion here is that SPC doesn't love dunnett's style, and i don't love their style. i will probably still read their following books when they get published, but i really, really hope they learn just one thing: sometimes (most of the time) books that are subtle, are better

[luna-themoonie]

Chapter Eight

First - Previous - Next

Summary: It was only meant to be a stupid game of dares, 'The King's Game.' But, of course, nothing could go Stan's way. Cartman thought it would be hilarious to get under everyone's skin with his stupid dare and he did. Now, Stan had no way of getting back with Wendy because he was stuck with this dare.

Butters didn't care too much about the dare in its entirety. Stan was a cool guy and maybe they could get closer. He didn't see anything wrong with this dare from Eric. But, oh boy, if his parents knew, he'd sure be grounded. After this dare ends, he and Stan could still be friends, right?

What was the dare?:

Stan and Butters were forced to date for two months.

~~~

Stan was exhausted by the time Sunday came around. Kyle wasn't available yesterday like he had hoped so they decided today would work instead. Which… kinda sucked because his thoughts didn't leave him alone once it was a new day. He kept replaying the thoughts he had at the picnic and the feeling of constant nausea he would experience. He was still confused and he didn't like it.

He had tried calling Tweek again, hoping he had his phone this time, but to no avail. Craig had picked up for him again and Stan had hung up on him before he was able to work on any of his nerves.

He tried to ignore it, but that just made it worse and he just couldn't stand it. So, he ended up picking up an extra shift to deter his racing mind, but all that did was just make another part of him feel fatigued. Even sleeping wasn't enough to distract him because once he was aware that he was awake, nerves came flooding back and he couldn’t stop thinking about Butters again. He was all he could think about and no distraction was enough. He spent his entire Saturday thinking about the blonde. And he hated it.

He couldn't stop thinking about how he looked under the stars. Or how Stan had thought, for a moment, that the other boy was pretty. Or how when he hugged him, it was like he was given just a few moments of peace and the unfamiliar happiness mixed with a bundle of nerves piling in his stomach. What can he say? Butters' sunny demeanor was addictive once you got a small taste.

It shouldn't bother him, it doesn't bother him… but the more he thought of him, the more out of control his thoughts became. And that's when the nerves and nausea would get worse.

Everything that he recently learned about the blonde would spiral together and create unwanted images in his head. Now he kept on thinking about him making out with different people. It didn't matter if he knew them or not. And it made him feel so guilty.

Then he would start to think about Kenny and Butters kissing. How that would look. It would make his stomach churn. And then Kenny morphed into someone that looked eerily like himself. Now he was thinking about kissing Butters himself. How that would look. He even thought about how it would be like to kiss Kenny.

He felt his stomach give an intense flip and he let out a groan. It was all he could think about ever since the thought had first crossed his mind and he couldn’t help but feel guilty. They were his friends. He shouldn't be thinking about them like that.

Butters did offer to help him if he had any questions, but Stan just felt embarrassed just thinking about it. What was he going to do? He can't just go up to him and say, "Hey, dude! Ever since you told me you were bisexual I can't stop thinking about you making out with random people, including myself! I don’t know why, do you? And can I kiss you to see if it's just as enticing as you make it sound?"

He didn't want to take advantage of Butters' sexuality just because he was curious. But at the same time, he felt if he didn’t do anything, his thoughts would eat him alive. He tried telling himself that he just misses Wendy and that's why he's feeling confused. But the more he tried repeating that, the less his mind believed it. 

He was hoping maybe Kyle could talk some sense into him; connect the dots as he usually did. Help him understand why nothing was working to stop him from having these inappropriate thoughts about his friends. And maybe, finally, these stupid thoughts can go away and he can focus on something else. Like finding out how to get Wendy back! Though, he still wasn't sure what he had done wrong in the first place.

He and Kyle had decided to meet up in the park today since his best friend wanted to practice at the basketball court for an upcoming game. It wasn't too far and they planned on even getting some food afterward too. But… there was one problem - he couldn’t get up. 

He wanted to, he really did, but all he could manage was to turn to lay on his other side. He still had to see Kyle. He tried repeating in his head to try to convince himself to get up. All this did was fill him with an empty sense of dread that he would have to get up sooner or later.

He didn’t want to cancel on him again - he was more prone to doing that these days - but his entire body just felt like lead. He just couldn't move. 

He heard his dog yawn and let out a whine as he padded around his room. Stan sighed and grabbed his pillow to cover his head. And he had to let Sparky out.

His eyes kept on drifting closed, but sleep wouldn't overtake him no matter how long he stayed in his bed. Sometimes… He just wanted to sleep forever, hide himself from everything and everyone. And plus, nothing bad ever happens when you’re sleeping. 

Sparky let out another loud whine and Stan was quick to hush him. "Just hold it a little longer, boy," he mumbled before hiding under his covers. He wrapped his arms around himself and tried again to lull himself back to sleep.

A soft knock on his door had his eyes shooting open instead. "Stan?" 

He tried to respond to his mom, but the only thing that came out was a low hum. 

He heard his door open. "Stanley?"

He hummed again, this time louder. 

"Sparky has been whining this entire time. You should take him for a walk."

He didn't acknowledge this at first. He just shifted under his cocoon of blankets to try to stay within the warmth. He gave her a hum of acknowledgment but still made no effort to move.

His mom sighed from the doorway and he heard her walk into his room. "Fine, Stanley, I'll take him. I made some breakfast for you. Can you at least go down to eat that? Please? And maybe we can talk? "

He took a moment before he gave another hum and listened as she spoke to Sparky in a high voice. She did this for a bit before the door closed and Stan was now left alone. Stan sighed as he continued to lay there, struggling with an internal battle of whether he should go join her or stay in bed. She was always there for him and supported him in all of his endeavors. He at least owed having breakfast with her.

He sighed again and pushed himself up in his bed after making his final decision. He swung his legs over the side of his bed and paused again. Okay, we're getting there. He stretched and the immediate desire to lay back down overtook him. He forced himself to ignore this and got up to walk over to his dresser. This was where the key to surviving most of his days was. He crouched down and pulled open the last drawer, revealing the extra clothes he piled in there without bothering to fold them. He began to rummage through the bottom drawer and pulled out a familiar substance - his just-under-half-empty bottle of Jameson Irish Whiskey. 

He licked his lips as he opened the bottle and gulped down the remaining amount, letting the warmth distract him just for a moment. He paused for a long moment before reaching back into the drawer and pulling out a new bottle. He opened it and took a few big gulps before deciding it was enough. He rehid the bottle back in his drawer, planning on disposing of it later when his mom wasn't around to see. He pushed himself up, rubbing the remaining sleep from his face before leaving his room.

As he made his way downstairs to join his mom for breakfast, he couldn't help but feel the effects of the whiskey taking hold of him. The world felt a little fuzzy around the edges, but he was used to this feeling by now. He had been sneaking sips of alcohol every now and then since he was thirteen; originally trying it when he was about ten. It was a way to cope with his problems, a way to forget about all the ways the world was turning to shit around him.

His mom was already seated at the table when he entered the kitchen, munching on a slice of toast. She gave him a small smile, noticeably happy that he had decided to join her. "Good morning, sweetie. Did you sleep well?" 

He mumbled a response and took a seat across from her, trying to ignore the way his head was beginning to pound. 

She poured him a cup of coffee and pushed a plate of scrambled eggs, his own sausage, and toast towards him. "Eat up, honey. You'll need your energy for the day." 

He picked up his fork and started poking at the eggs, trying to force himself to eat despite his lack of appetite. He took a sip of coffee and glanced up at his mom, noticing how her eyes lingered on him. He cleared his throat awkwardly and set his drink down. “So… how has work been?” He asked, hoping to distract her enough for him not to feel like she was watching his every move.

“Oh, it’s been good. There was this client that came in the other day and she-” 

Honestly, Stan didn’t care enough to listen, but he hummed and nodded along like he was. He slowly ate his breakfast, staring down at his plate as she droned on about her work and the interesting tidbits she wanted to share.

When she grew quiet once more, Stan decided to look up at her. It was obvious she wanted to talk about something other than work, it was this look she always got. He looked away from her again, trying to avoid her watchful eye. She took a moment to sip at her coffee and hummed quietly. A long moment passed between them and she finally began to speak again. “Stan… I want to talk to you about something.” And there it was…

Stan shifted in his seat and gave a small sigh. “About what?”

She hummed quietly again, taking a moment as though she was trying to figure out how to word her question. “I was just wondering… is there… maybe, I don’t know, something you want to tell me?”

Stan looked up at his mom, confused. “What?”

She shrugged with a nonchalant look. “You know you can be honest with me. I won’t get mad at you, you know. I think it’s completely normal.”

Guilt began to bubble up in his chest and he looked down at his food again to avoid making eye contact with her. “I…" He stabbed at his eggs. "I have some Jameson in my room… I had some this morning.”

His mom was quiet for a long time and Stan was sure she was coming up with a way to punish him. She finally moved and walked over to him before brushing his hair back and pressing a kiss to his forehead. “That’s okay. Thank you for telling me. And I just want you to know that I’ll love you no matter what, Stanley.”

He was surprised, but he didn’t show it. “I… I know, Mom. I love you too.”

She patted his cheek with a warm smile and planted another kiss on the top of his head. She paused and played with his hair for a moment. “You… washed your hair?”

Stan ran his head through his hair at the mention of it. “Yeah.”

“For… the meteor shower… with your friend.”

He nodded, confused on why she was mentioning it again. “Yeah. I told you, it was all Bebe’s idea.”

His mom nodded, but something in her eyes told him that she wasn’t entirely convinced. “I see.” She moves to grab her empty plate and mug to bring to the sink. She hums quietly, obviously in thought. “Oh, yeah. Kyle called earlier. He told me to tell you that he’s at the basketball court in the park.”

Stan furrowed his eyebrows and looked at the clock in the kitchen. “Ah, shit!”

“Language!”

Stan fumbled out of his seat and out of the kitchen. He was late! He didn’t even check the time when he got up. He made his way up the stairs as fast as he could and into his room. He grabbed his phone and, sure enough, saw five missed calls from his best friend. He rushed to change out of his pajamas, throwing on whatever he could find that he thought were clean before practically running out of his room.

It wasn’t long before he returned, heading straight to the dresser and pulling the bottom drawer open once again. He took another few large swigs, just enough to feel buzzed enough to be able to withstand the disappointed look Kyle undoubtedly was going to give him. He shoved the bottle back into the drawer and fumbled out of his room once again and down the stairs.

When he reached the front door, he grabbed his keys, struggling to take off his car keys to leave them behind for his mom - a condition she gave him if he was going to drink. He called out a salutation to his mom before leaving the house. He rushed towards the park as fast as he could without slipping or falling and within a matter of minutes he saw the basketball court with a solitary red-head.

When Kyle saw him, his eyes slightly narrowed, but he continued to dribble the ball. “You’re late.” He called out to him as he got closer.

He raised his hand in apology. “Yeah, I’m sorry, dude.”

Kyle was quiet for a moment, but then passed the ball over to him, in which he admittedly fumbled with as it reached him. “It’s fine, just hope you’re up to try to beat me. I need a challenge.”

Kyle was most definitely not going to be challenged by Stan’s skills, but that didn’t stop him from trying. They played a few rounds, Stan stumbling around compared to Kyle’s calculated movements. Not sure how exactly to bring up his issue while they played, he decided to talk about something else until he could figure it out. “So… how’s everything going? With the dare, I mean.” He asked when Kyle scored another point.

Kyle scoffed as he caught the ball. “I don’t want to talk about that right now.”

Stan hummed and caught the ball as it was passed over to him. “Okay…” Unbothered, he dribbled the ball and tried to keep it away from Kyle, which was practically impossible.

Kyle scored another basket and sighed as he caught the ball again. “Everything he has us doing is bullshit!” And there it was. “I don’t even know why we’re doing it. His ‘punishments’ aren’t even that bad. It's not even like sending Ike to Canada is horrible, he’s been mentioning going after he graduates. But who knows where Cartman is going to have him? And my parents would kill me if I'm the reason he got sent off out of the blue.”

“And the college thing,” Stan added.

Kyle huffs and tosses the ball to him again. “Yeah, that too. But I can deal with four months.”

“But can your parents?”

His eyes narrowed at him and Stan decided to try to keep his mouth shut for the time being. They continued to play in silence, which was not what Stan wanted to go for, but he was nervous. It showed in how he played, not that he was much good in the first place, but at least he was manageable without his sweaty palms and jerky reactions.

When Stan was finally able to steal the ball from Kyle long enough, he took a shot. He wobbled a bit and missed the net by a considerable amount. "Ah, shit. Sorry, dude, I had a drink before coming." The excuse was immediate. He didn’t want Kyle to think anything else was wrong with him.

Kyle didn't respond to that, though. Instead, he picked up the ball and tossed it back toward him. So, Stan tried shooting again, but this time he hit the rim of the basket. Kyle was quick to catch the ball, but he didn't try sending the ball back to Stan’s outstretched hands. "I'm going to get a few drills in." Kyle didn't want to play with him anymore. He usually used his 'drills' as an excuse to stop watching Stan being bad at the sport. 

So, Stan gave him a silent nod and stepped back to give Kyle some room while he watched him.

Kyle was lean… tall… fiery in a spirited way. His curls were kept short, but still noticeable from under his hat and his skin was on the paler side. He had a sharp, masculine look about him, something Stan was always a little jealous of. 

When Stan realized his gaze was slowly moving down his body as he considered his thoughts, he snapped himself out of it and refocused on the ball instead, his cheeks growing warm.

That was it. Maybe he could pretend to ignore the problem if it had just stayed Butters or Kenny. But imagining Kyle! He had to get to the bottom of this fast. But how? What was he supposed to do? He’s never talked to Kyle about his sexuality, and vice-versa. It was just something… they’d never considered talking about. Not that it mattered.

"Hey… you alright, dude?" 

Stan refocused on Kyle and saw that he had moved to stand in front of him, holding the ball out and waiting for him. “Y-yeah…" He cleared his throat so his voice could stop shaking. "Just zoned out, my bad." Kyle indicated the ball once again and Stan shook his head. “Nah, man. I don’t think I’m a good match for you. But keep doing your thing.”

Kyle shrugged in response and dribbled the ball to a spot along the line, setting up a shot.

Well, it was now or never. He cleared his throat to try to get Kyle’s attention and hesitated before speaking. “Dude?”

Kyle, still focused on dribbling the ball in his spot to get a good shot, didn’t look at Stan when he responded, “Yeah?”

Stan’s words were caught in his throat and he felt like throwing up. His mouth floundered as he tried to force the words out. Anything, anything to get the ball rolling. “Have…” He swallowed. “Have you ever… I don’t know… wantedtokissaguybefore?” He rushed out.

When Stan had finished his question, Kyle had turned to look at him, eyes wide, just as the ball had left his hand. Everything happened so fast, Stan almost didn't understand how it happened - the ball had hit the corner of the backboard and had shot back to hit Kyle square in the face. 

Kyle keeled over, his hands covering his nose. 

"Holy shit, dude!" Stan ran over to him and grabbed his shoulders to try to get a better look at the damage. "Fuck, man, you're bleeding!"

"What do you mean?"

"Huh? Your nose, dude."

Kyle’s eyebrows furrowed. "Why would I want to kiss another guy?"

Stan couldn't believe it. Kyle was seriously backtracking the conversation as if a fountain of blood wasn't spilling from his nose. "I don't know! Like how you kissed Craig."

Kyle blanched. "No! Why would you think that?!"

"I-" 

"That's gross! I would never do that!" The color in Kyle’s face began to return at a rapid pace, now surpassing its original color. "Especially with Craig!" And you technically already did.

"I-it doesn't have to be- I didn’t mean just Craig."

"What?” He scoffed. “You think I would kiss you?”

Stan felt a harsh pang in his chest at this. “N-no, not…” He let go of Kyle, not understanding why Kyle was being mean about this and why his chest was beginning to hurt. "I just wanted-"

"Wanted what? 

I just wanted to know if what I'm feeling is normal.

Instead, what came out was, ��Kyle… You’re being a douchebag.”

That was clearly the wrong thing to say because the look he got from him was scalding. He gave a sound of surprise as Kyle pushed him off and stood. "This is all your fucking fault!”

Stan felt hurt and confused, looking up at his best friend as he seethed with anger. “What-?”

“‘Let’s go to the party, Kyle!’ ‘You need to relax, Kyle!’ ‘It’s just going to be a little party, nothing bad is gonna happen. Take the stick out of your ass Kyle!’ If you didn’t fucking force me to go to that party, I wouldn’t have Cartman up my ass anymore than he already is and dealing with Craig’s bullshit! But, no, you wanted to go to the party for Wendy!”

“That’s not-”

"Look at where that got us! You're so fucking pathetic and desperate for Wendy’s attention that we have to do some bullshit game to entertain Cartman. Why is it always the same damn thing with you?”

Stan swallowed, his eyes wide as he looked up at the redhead. "Are you seriously doing this right now?"

“Yeah, yeah, I am! Because you have been the same ever since I fucking met you. Always so self-centered and pessimistic. It’s no wonder Wendy keeps breaking up with you, you’re so fucking tiring. I wouldn’t want to deal with you either.”

That was a low blow. He pushed himself up and took a step closer, but was still wary of getting too into Kyle’s space. "I really am trying, Kyle."

"Trying what? Nothing has changed. It's always the same damn thing with you! You always make everything about yourself!"

"Like you're any better?" Was Stan’s response and he was suddenly shoved to the ground by Kyle, making him give a loud ‘oof.’

"You better shut the fuck up! I don't give a shit if you're supposed to be my friend, I will still fuck you up if you keep testing me."

“You’re being a shitty friend,” was Stan’s weak attempt at any sort of comeback.

Kyle let out a mocking laugh. "News Flash, Stan: You're just as shitty of a friend! You always think of yourself and fuck how everybody else feels, right?" Stan began to blink rapidly as he felt his eyes begin to sting. "Until you fix whatever the fuck is wrong with you, don't talk to me. I'm done with all of your bullshit." Kyle stomped over to the ball and picked it up as he wiped his nose, staining his sweater. He didn't spare another glance towards Stan as he trudged out of the park.

Stan continued to stare at where his best friend was just a few seconds ago… or could he really call him that anymore? Kyle was right after all. Stan was so desperate to keep the bond between the two of them that he refused to see that it was fraying the entire time during these past years.

He pushed himself up from the ground, stumbling for a moment. He wanted to go home. He should've just listened to himself and canceled again. Maybe, this wouldn't have happened… He could feel tears blurring in his eyes and he hurriedly wiped them away. He didn’t want to cry. Not now, especially not now when there was a chance for Kyle to still see him. He didn’t want him to know that he had completely crushed him. He didn’t bother cleaning himself off as he finally moved to exit the park.

Pathetic… Desperate… That’s what Kyle had called him. He wondered if other people saw him that way, he wondered if Wendy did. If Kyle was right… He must be… it was almost rare for him to be both passionate and wrong. Hey, but at least he can thank Kyle for one thing - He definitely wasn't thinking about Butters anymore.

Stan didn’t even realize when he got home, so lost in his thoughts. He took a breath and tried being quiet as he entered his house, but nothing really went past his mom. 

"Stan?" Her head poked out from the kitchen. "You're already back?"

He nodded, clearing his throat. "Yeah."

She paused before taking a step out towards him. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." He was quick to say. "I'm just-" He choked back a sob and rushed towards the stairs. "I'm just tired. I'm gonna go lay down."

"Oh, Stanley-"

But he didn’t want to hear it. He took two steps at a time to reach his room as quickly as he could. He didn’t want her to worry and dote over him. He didn’t want her to hug him. And he definitely didn't want to cry in front of her.

When he reached his room he immediately holed himself inside, locking the door to make sure he was left alone, falling to his knees next to his dresser and pulling the drawer open. He didn’t bother being careful when digging through it, just wanting to be quick. He pulled out the bottle of Jameson again, this time finishing off the bottle. The burning warmth only distracted him for a moment, but it wasn’t enough. It was never enough. 

With a shuddery sigh, he pushed himself to stand and went over to his bed without bothering to change. He crawled under his covers once again, letting its warmth and darkness envelop him. 

He squeezed his eyes shut and put his pillow over his head, trying to induce drowsiness once more. He wanted to get away so badly. Go to sleep and just forget about everything, even just for a moment. 

Because nothing bad ever happens when you're sleeping.

[epickiya722]

Reading Horikoshi's last works, Oumagadoki Zoo and Barrage, and checking out the end of that it reminds me of what is going on with My Hero Academia.

I'm about to recall on of my literature lessons here and make text-to-text connections here.

Both of those stories' endings had a big battle going on between the opposing sides. Once those battles are won by the good guys, everything goes "back to normal". People living their lives, smiling again, that deal.

However, not everything is completely okay. There still some changes to be made. Slowly, but surely.

Both stories end openingly. The future isn't for certain, but it looks slightly brighter than before.

That's what I think is going to be the case for MHA. We already see that society is rebuilding itself back here.

In the case of the villains, those previous stories while the bad guys are defeated and receive punishment, there is still that open air of opportunity for them to change. They also don't die in their stories.

Now, before someone gets a hissy fit and be like "Midoriya killed Shigaraki" (even more it was more on AFO than Midoriya... I feel like some of you think it's too easy to blame the villain but I digress), what if I told you... maybe there is a way for Shigaraki to come back or at least, his fate is hinted to be open and he did not have a certain death?

Hear me out! Spoilers ahead for both Barrage and OZ!

In OZ, the bad guys don't actually die after getting defeated. They do kind of just go about their lives. One of them even joins the Zoo in an aftermath story!

In Barrage, the "prince" is killed. However, Astro, the protagonist, makes a remark that he could have survived and he's still around.

That could be the case for Shigaraki. I know we got that mystery kid a while back, but here's my thought.

Horikoshi may go back to him later. Or! He may not! I'm leaning more on the "may not" because I feel like Horikoshi may leave it up to the audience to decide what happens.

A "Shigaraki may have died... or maybe he's reincarnated... maybe he's not..."

Simply what I'm saying is, while there are things that are certain, that doesn't mean they can't change. While it may seem everything is over and done with, it doesn't mean there isn't room for growth. The future can be a bright one when you're open for change and it will take time.

It what happens in both of Horikoshi's previous works. The protagonist is united with their allies and smile in the end, even when not everything is okay.

Especially, in the case of OZ. Horikoshi did an extra story where everyone is happy, but the Zoo still doesn't get costumers like that.

That's how it's going to be for MHA, I feel.

Things with be slow, but slowly getting better. The ending will lean more into being open for the audience to imagine what will happen.

Here's the thing with me and some of the fandom.

I don't think any of you are stupid or lack reading comprehension skills.

I feel like some of you are impatient. I get it, sometimes, you don't want to wait and you must know what happens next. But at the same time, that impatience shouldn't lead you into turning into the worse version of yourself.

Because of that impatience, you won't stop and think "what could this mean". You don't think to go back and reread to catch details that may have foreshadow something. Instead, you jump to conclusions and call the writing "bad".

It's not bad if you're too impatient to understand it.

Society in MHA isn't going to change overnight. There's time to change.

Sorry to tell you, some people will still worship the heroes. Some people will still hate the villains. That's the reality of it. Some laws will still be in place. Sorry, but just because Hawks put on that hot ass suit (and I don't mean it's an attractive one, he has a habit of wearing clothes that look like they're hot), doesn't mean he can make everything A-OK by snapping his fingers.

There are still people he got to work with.

This is the case with everyone. Just because Izuku is our hero of the story, don't mean he can clap his hands and "Oh my gosh, the villains aren't that bad. Oh my gosh, we should change".

He is still a high school student. Who just reached his second year. Just his second year.

These changes? WILL TAKE TIME!!!

And I know, some of you are thinking that ship might happen but given how Horikoshi has written them and his previous works... I doubt it.

I could be wrong, but I have doubts.

Horikoshi doesn't really rely much on romance on Barrage and OZ. In fact, in both of those stories it's more of a platonic close connection between the main male and female roles and the female character does her own story.

Now look, I adore Izuku, but when it comes to Ochako... he is a side character in her story and that's it. He is a supporting character. But that's just me.