#but instead i had to go crazy. what's wrong with me
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What is that skin!?
Damian Wayne × BatSis! Reader 《Platonic!》
Note: English is not my first language, sorry if there is any translation error
After asking (begging) Damian to play Fornite with you and as crazy as it sounds he accepted! (With gritted teeth but he accepted)
Instead of rotting his brain solving cases, he would rot his brain playing video games
You were getting ready to play, you accept the invitation and when the game was about to start- wait... is that Hatsune Miku!?
"What is that skin, bro?"
You said holding back laughter, you didn't think Damian was a fan of Miku, you thought he was too rude to be interested in those topics like vocaloid
"What's wrong with it?"
He said with an annoyed tone from his headphones
"Well... I mean there's nothing wrong with it but it surprises me because, well... it's you"
Damian arched an eyebrow at your answer "and what's the problem, miku is cool"
"Well I'm just saying that I didn't think you liked anime girls"
You said letting out a small laugh
"Hatsune Miku is NOT an anime girl SHE'S A VOCALOID DAMN IDIOT"
God, with that scream she could have easily broken your eardrums, how the hell did damian not tear his throat?
"Okay now I understand, although I remember having seen her in an anime.."
You said thoughtfully, from the other side damian let out a grunt as he settled into his chair
"But if we're being honest, teto is much better than miku"
"What did you say?"
Damian said with a sinister tone
"What a teto is much better than Miku"
You repeated without realizing when that was the straw that broke the camel's back, in a few seconds the door of your room was knocked down, right there was Damian with his two katanas ready to split you in two and shatter you
"Damian?"
You spoke with a scared tone while you cowered in your chair, he may be much smaller than you but damn it sometimes he was scary
"You will pay for your words"
Damian slowly approached you while you backed away in your chair
"Hey dami, this is too extreme, are we really going to fight over a fictional character?"
You tried to reason with him but nothing could calm your anger, you felt your end approaching
"It's okay do you want to hear it, I'm really sorry!"
You said, maybe if you apologized your death wouldn't be premature
"It's too late to apologize"
"What?... Wait Damian!... DAMIAN!!"
_
Bruce swore that he was going to grow more gray hair than he had if you and Damian kept doing stupid things, he was in the hospital while you rested on a stretcher
On the other side was Damian with a frown as he looked at you and his angry father
"Seriously Damian, what were you thinking when you STABBED AND BREAK YOUR SISTER'S ARM!?"
Bruce said hysterically, he thought that you two would spend some time on charity and would have a better coexistence
But it seems that they decided that it was a better idea to fight to the death
"Damian Wayne, you are grounded for hurting your sister and you will not go on patrol until I say you will go"
"WHAT!?"
The boy said angrily, you swore that Damian was about to jump on Bruce and strangle him
"While you, Miss, are also grounded and will not go on patrol until I say so"
"EH!?, it's not fair, I AM THE VICTIM!"
You said in a dramatic tone as you abruptly stood up from the stretcher
"I'm not going to discuss it anymore, you better respect your punishments"
Bruce spoke in a serious tone as he gave you and Damian a cold look
"Okay dad.."
They both said in unison letting out a sigh of defeat, maybe next time they should control themselves more...
Bonus ( *・ω・)ノ ♡~
Graphic description of how BatSis! Reader looked after Damian entered her room
#damian wayne x reader#batman#damian wayne#dc robin#dc comics#batfamily#batfam#platonic#batsis reader#batsis!reader#fem!reader#fem reader#bruce wayne x reader#bruce wayne#drabble#oneshot#batfam x reader#batfam x batsis#batfamily x reader#bruce wayne x fem!reader#damian wayne x female reader#female reader
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Adding on I feel that people who defend Jinx or dont' think about who she killed is due to the fact that its enforcers/corrupt politians so they go with they got what they deserve but I think that ignores how like it or not those people are very much still human and you can't just go around murdering people with zero consequences bad people should get prison time but not outright murdered. And how jinx somehow becomes a syombol for zaun despite working for silco and.. causing more stress for zaun after blowing up the capital building makes little sense to me. Jinx herself didn't even want to be a symbol just wanted her family back. she's not a Hero because she kills Cops.. she's a traumatized girl who needed mental help
btwIhatecops I have very bad experiences with em. been accused of drug selling ifyacanbelivetitwascrazy. and a cop towed our car making us even more poor. . but i dont think we should murder em either or as a poor person myself with my own mental issues that killing is ever justified and it seems that some people think because jinx has trauma =murderis fine but caits trauma hurting people=evil monster when the lesson is i think .. Violence is BAD no matter if your poor/rich don't hurt people.
now Caitlyn she is treated like she Killed millions.. and that her hate of jinx is treated as a shrug cause she was born rich.. As if that makes trauma less valid..
I don't blame her for hating jinx while it was jinx being fused with shimmer that caused jinx mental state to get even worse.. caitlyn was kidnapped while NAKED.. Tied up, and saw jinx kill her mom.. all in like a DAY..
She met vi for what 2 days? got kidnapped nearly killed by her sister/ had her mom blew up by her crush sister. Im not saying its an excuse to gas zaun but how come when Jinx gasses piltover and we see it affecting kids =no criticism at all.. Jinx is a hero =cait is the villian .. But I see no heroes I just see. People.
Traumatized Woman who lost their parents in horrible ways coping in terrible ways. Only one gets treated as do no wrong/other as innocent when its not that simple.
I don't get the hate for either I like Em both I was rather disappointed they didn't go more Crazy but i dont think some of ya'll can handle Crazy woman..shame. I really thought the end of s1 was setting up Arcane Game Jinx instead we got Woobie pitful Jinx when s1 was way more interseting.. and I thought we'd see Cait doing worse and according to fandom she did do worse but i wanted more more insanity. ..
and timebome while cute wasn't needed and i thought took away from the impact of isha's death since the ep happened right after.. and that it came out of nowhere.. I don't understand people saying caitvi sex scene makes no sense they were horny for eachother since season 1.. it was bound to happen and i thought it was perfect emotions were high. Let woman act on emotions humans are emotional people.. that scene was a long time coming. and i say that as someone who didn't really ship em in s1 that moment was long overdue. Maddie was also cute to me but I love REDHEADS I felt she needed more screentime her betrayal left zero impact to me cause .. I barely knew her .. same with Vis new male friend death..
The main criticism I have is to much music video montages.. i give the season a 6/10 .. needed 2 more episodes or to skip the au ep all together and.. focus on ekko/jinx not powder/ekko for timebomb to hold better weight
but that just my opinion.. Im poor and I dont think cait had more power over vi at all.. if anything Jinx held power over Vi.. as vi felt she had to save Powder.. but for all the people saying it should have ended like elsa/ana storyline of sisterly love. while that's all fine and and dandy.. . I gotta say you're family who commits terrible actions isn't your responbility to save and the sory isn't bad because it didnt' cater to the disney storyline of happily ever after for jinx/vi some of ya'll wanted .
I think s1 is better but not because jinx/vi didn't get the happy ending just thought we wasted time on other plots more when we should have had more time with Vi outside of Jinx and noticed jinx was. a lot different that it felt like a new character in general .
.. butohwell.. its not terrible its just alright to me.
With the way people hate on caitlyn it's like she murdered bunches of people when I recall it was jinx who was killing people with zero remorse in s1 no hate to jinx but man her actions get ignored it's her fault that zaun gets targeted in since she blew up the capital
Also its sad that it's come to women vs women characters when both are good characters
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KINGEN 🔥 황사장
FERNGIF 1: 핑크 잘 어울리는 남자
240109 - 2024 Welcome Dplus KIA
#kingen#dk#lck#esports#my gifs#킹겐#황성훈#someone take away my powers this is not a fast and quick project#i was gonna do this in like 10 min#but instead i had to go crazy. what's wrong with me#and it looks terrible too lmao the quality#anyways that's the idea is if i do a ton of these 10 min every day i'll get better#but it won't be 10 min if i keep doing stupid stuff like this#stabilized rotoscoped colored btw#so maybe at the end of each month i'll do a big upload to tenor or something#ferngif#my edits
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I also lost my cat recently. it's horrible. take care of yourself, ok? you'll be ok.
yeah dude its fucking awful... im sorry for your loss too :( i wish they could live forever with us. or at least as much as possible.... my boy wasnt even a senior, he was around 10 years old and i had had him for 8..
#like if he had been like 12... id be like okay he's an old kitty...this was gonna happen#but i wasnt prepared for it to happen like this. i was so desperate that nothing i did could help him#nothing helped. no ultrasound no x ray no cardiology check up no blood test no antibiotics. nothing could figure out what was wrong#and then it was too late. just that whole situation (been going on since june) had me so crazy#and then this last month was a fucking nightmare it happened so fast. like i wasnt prepared#u cant ever be prepared i guess... but idk i wish it wouldve been different#i wish he had died of old age instead. or at least i wish we knew what caused him to be so sick.#like if i was told its idk. cancer. and its taken over and hes gonna die#it wouldve been awful too. of course. but i wouldve known. i wouldve been told.#i wouldnt have had to watch him get to the point he got and accept that whatever he had. it didnt matter anymore. because it beat him.#it sucks so bad it sucks so bad. its so unfair.#sorry for venting in my tags ig. whatever. fuck everything this world is fucked and evil#personal
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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and can i just say that i hate her character development lol
#you know everyone talks about how she spent 1000 years torturing men and how :( mean :( that was of her#but she also spent 1000 years seeing how shitty men treat women and how COMMON it was how UNORIGINAL how IT WAS THE SAME THING OVER AND OVE#and when she becomes powerless she ends up falling for one of the shittier ones#and this is her like. hashtag NotAllMen lesson#even though the whole POINT of her powers was exacting REVENGE as in DOING BAD THINGS TO MEN WHO HAD DONE BAD THINGS#her mistrust of men as people who could do inflict the kind of cruelty that she punished wasn't baseless or even discriminatory#and yet somehow after 1000 years she's like actually i'm SUPER lonely and if i don't have a man i'll go crazy even though i know this guy i#not only capable of fucking me over he ACTUALLY FUCKED SOMEONE OVER I SAW IT HAPPEN#i just????????????? i do not get it#if she had fallen for someone who she thought COULD NEVER HURT HER who was GENUINELY someone she thought she would never have to use her#powers on when she had them who proved that the risk was worth it with the right guy i would have understood#INSTEAD she chooses the guy that she KNOWS doesn't know how to act right oh my god#i mean WHAT#idk maybe i'm remembering wrong maybe that was part of the logic like well i know you did this but if that's the worst you can do i'll just#drown you or whatever#like a devil you know type of thing#IDK I DON'T LIKE IT I DON'T LIKE ANYTHING TO DO WITH XANDER#buffyverse liveblog#my caps
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I feel like I came out of the womb with raging anxiety
#never been fully relaxed a day in my life#literally had a panic attack at age 6-7(?)#I’ve been super self aware for as long as I can remember#the tension in my body is my natural state#I’ve BEEN imagining every worst case scenario since I could form thoughts#7th-8ish grade is where it got worse#had panic attacks like four times a week#and then heart palpitations started and holy shit I was googling symtoms and that would make it worse#was convinced I would get a heart attack#having a headache is part of my daily routine#then I got a crush on a guy and with it came body dysmorphia#couldn’t look people in the eye from how ugly I felt(still struggle with this one but we got this💪🏼💪🏼)#now I mostly just cry#like I deadass get stressed and overwhelmed and just cry#depression came next and I was honestly not surprised#and it tampered my anxiety a bit but I’d honestly rather feel stressed than feel so numb#yeah I wouldn’t recommend#so basically I lie awake feeling aware of my own heartbeat or of my body#oh and I can’t forget the physical pain that anxiety caused me#muscle aches literally convinced me there was something wrong with me#went to the doctor numerous times bc I NEEDED to be diagnosed with something or I would go crazy and instead got told to see a therapist#and the therapist basically told me everything I had already figured out myself but at least I can talk to someone#tw anxiety#tw depression#tw body dysmorphia#anxiety#mentions of depression#and I’m only a teenager so should I be worried about what happens in the next few years? bc this already sounds like a lot to me#this was supposed to be a funny little post but nvm I guess?? don’t worry about me I’m good though many good things in my life#teenager
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uh ohhhhhh getting all in my head again aha
#ok so even if im right what does that change#everything but ok ok. i can always just kms to atone for my sins <333#(<-normal coping mechanism with Not Being Able To Deal With The Kind Of Person You Are)#no no ok no kmsing but uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh bruh i thunk my brain is like. not built right#like what if thats not actually bpd. what if it IS npd after all and ive just#manipulated her into giving me the More Easily Palatable Diagnosis that allows#me (and some goodwilling others) to view myself as a victim instead of just an unsalvageable fucking monster lol#this is NOT the kind of problems i imagined myself having in my 20s#dunno why im losing my mind about rn in the middle of all this silly tumblr shenanigans but#i think my therapist is wrong. she keeps talking shit about trauma and abuse but this isnot#not right. I HAVENT HAD any truly traumating experiences. like divorced parents are normal it doesn't usually do THAT to people. that is NOT#trauma lol SA ok ig but i dont even like. think about it at all and it wasn't even actua fucking rape so like. MAYBE i could blame some#some of myunhealthy#kinks on it but thats literallyit#like me being the way i am really doesnt stem from me being a victim of abuse or anything#like there's no one to blame except for myself there is just something in me thats inherently lacking and it's driving me crazy#it's like im in a constant battle against myself where im forcing myself to feel bad about it because if i allow myself to let go#it's over. for me and for everyone i've manipulated into caring about me#it's insane it's genuinely fucking crazy i really feel like im losing my mind Sometimes#and like the worst part is i can't be fucking bothered to even try to change lol cause it's uncomfortable and it puts responsibility on me#and icant deal with that cause im a pussy and a serial quitter lmao#thats not 'fear of abandonment'. that's just being. wrongly wired. inside.#ANYWAY. never fucking mind. normal again uwu
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it's fun to look through datamined stuff but I need some of you to stop getting mad at larian for scrapping ideas you thought were cool. cool doesn't mean it'll make sense in the overarching story, and maybe larian likes this version better, or sometimes ideas just didn't work well with what they had in mind. I know this first hand from writing stories, I'll have cool ideas but realize later it doesn't fit the original tone of the story. it's okay to scrap stuff, but you can always use it for something else.
also, like it or not, it's larians game first, their story, their characters (I know.), it doesn't matter if we think something is cool, the reality is that not everything works in the end. and that's fine. that's how all art is, it's alive and ever-shifting, it'll go through many, many, versions, to the point where you might get sick of chewing on the same plot, and in the end the final version might not be as good as you thought when you look back in a few months or years. and that's ok. art isn't supposed to be perfect.
everything is subjective and I think fandoms would be a more intellectual place if people learned to critique art for what it is not what it isn't.
#of course don't get me wrong i have my own issues with the game that completely counters my point#but im not gonna sit around being upset over what could've been#overall i enjoyed bg3 i wouldn't have 600hrs if i didn't#to me this is like asking why an artist painted the forest instead of the dragon that was just out of frame#ofc you think the dragon is cooler but if the artist never told you they went to the dragon forest youd appreciate the forest for what it i#in art its like. the negatives elevate your subject. sometimes less is more no matter how cool it is#idk if im making sense ive been feeling sentimental about art recently and this is my favourite philosophy when it comes to my work#this isn't to say roll over and accept any art. always be critical always be a hater but the skill is knowing when and how#also im a believer of steal like an artist so if larian had cool ideas they didn't use? guess what? yours now. go crazy#i didn't mean for this to turn into a philosophy lesson on art but. theyre related#can you tell that ive gone insane from rewriting the same story bc i couldn't decide which version i liked better. i finally got it tho yay#oh god typo in the gc.... kill him . im not fixing that#six speaks#bg3#larian critical
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i cant stop thinking abt him... have been doing that all daynd i feel so sad nd my heart hurtsso bad nd i long for him sm it's just a bad day :((
#it's bc i saw that he#uploaded his background which was just nothing. and said that he feels empty#and a couple of months ago before i ruined it all#he said that he had me as his background#so now i feel so fkn sad#i dont know why im like this but i feel so crazy about him i wanna die#i think about him constantly and i'venever ever wanted to be with or know someone this badly#and to know that he sees me as a disappointment... and not good enough for him... and that he doesnt love me enough to wanna fix it#or even have a 'it' with me#hurts so bad#so now im just in an awful headspace...#i hate myself so much#i wish i could go back and not do what i did#i did it bc i thought it'd bring me closer to him#but i was wrong and i didnt understand that until now#and instead it caused him to think im not what he thought i was or what he wants me to be#and no matter how much i try to explain i realize thatonly i understand#bcmy brains broken and no one could ever understand why i do what i do#i am alone. always and forever i will never know closeness or intimacy#the thing is thatbefore i met him i was fine w that#i kinda longed for it but i had resigned myself to a life without it#then i met him nd it felt real nd like it could bereal for me#plus i genuinely like him sm i feel sm for him so i desperately want it w him#but then..... it turned out that im not good enough for him#it just rlly hurts that the ONLY time i've ever wanted someone#and it started w them wanting me back#who i am was a disappointment nd i fucked it up bc of a misunderstanding#that i cant clear up bc i cant make anyone understand my fucked up broken reasoning#i will bealone forever and i just wanna die
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shut UPPPPPPPPPPP someone just put the clip of tiny manticore telling betty "maybe you're going after someone who doesn't exist anymore" with simon trying to bring back betty back ohhhh i feel sick
#thats it exactly.#i reallyyyyy think its a good conclusion. betty probably SHOULD HAVE just accepted that simon was gone and learned to appreciate ice king#for who he was. it was seemingly impossible to get him back. she literally had to become part of a fucking chaos god just to do it#and this sacrifice really seemed to only hurt them both in the long run. and then it was reversed - simon tries to bring betty back#which is similarly impossible. but instead of letting him make some sort of crazy sacrifice like she did. she has finally realized that#she may have made the wrong choice and she wont let him do the same. its breaking the cycle of self-sacrifice its making up for her mistake#its her saying i may have ruined our chances of happiness together because i couldnt accept that you had changed.#there isnt any way for us to be together now. but i wont let you do the same. i gave up everything to let you have a second chance at life#and perhaps that was a mistake. but dont let it go to waste. dont give up everything like i did. just live your life.#let me go. let me let YOU go. accept that the past is flawed and beautiful and you cannot return to it. just let it exist as the past.#and keep that love in your heart and let yourself actually have a future instead of clinging onto these impossible hopes of returning#to that past. do what i did not.#godddddd the full-circleness of it all. i love these two so much#im so happy they finally got closure#serena.txt
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anyway. i am going to be SO incredibly livid and angry and throwing an absolute tantrum on thursday if i dont get good feedback on my script.
#and by good i mean anything actually helpful not just 'omg wow this is amazing' tho ofc that's acceptable too#like a month back now u. might remember that the day i was supposed to get feedback on my outline i literally ended up#holding back tears in class bc it was so. just. pointless and rude and genuinely not helpful#and last week everyone was soooo boring about the scripts that were due like no one was giving helpful critiques or anything#it was all just sooo insufferable u people are not being constructive about like actually helping someone develop their story or whatever#ur just being stupid. and by that i mean it. like they didnt even try to just understand the humor or worldbuilding of this one kid's scrip#t it pissed me off.#and i actually had fun with my script finally it's a first draft so u know it's gonna have its weak spots but eye had fun hanging out#w my girls <3 so. if people could attempt to be helpful this time around that'd be awesome.#like last time a few people made snide comments like 'um about this - well i can't even remember this one's name' hey girl. you could#probably look at the very contained outline i wrote that's right in front of your face instead of saying annoying shit like that to the#writer's face!#the vibes have just been off. that class was so fun for a while and lately it's been such a bitch fest.#they were so mean about mine and my friend's i think people r jealous that that's our bestie prof's class but like. he doesnt treat us any#kind of way you know. and he's supportive of everyone like u dont have to make this weird#sorryyyyy for complaining about what i THINK is wrong with everyone but like! idek how to deal with their passive aggressive shit anymore#they're mean to each other too sometimes#just gonna go crazy with it on thursday#abby talks
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it is november, and yesterday it felt like it was supposed to be snowing. in boston, november used a winter month, not a fall month. it is supposed to be chilly; rarely capping over 45F. it is a sweater-and-jacket month. it is a "maybe a scarf too" month. in my childhood, november meant blizzards and sleet.
it did not snow. tomorrow the weather predicts a high of 76.
i have spent so many years of my life studying the longterm possibilities of climate change - the culmination of capitalism wreaking havoc on the bodies of people, animals, plants - but every so often i am still shocked by something small and personal.
in a hundred years, when someone goes outside in boston - will they know the feeling of "snow in the air"?
i know it's a learned feeling, a sensation that maybe only longterm experience can teach. a few years ago, i was walking with my friend who had just moved up from the south. i said it smells like snow and she gave me this look like - what the fuck. i said it feels like snow too, which didn't help. she looked up to the bright blue sky and then back at me and then back at the sky. 12 hours later, we had 3 inches. you can just tell if it's going to snow.
except i can't tell, anymore. i stand outside in a tee shirt and watch my dog dance around a lake. we're in a drought and the skin of the water has peeled back twenty meters. the lake is tamed, quiet, puddlelike and sour. my pokemon go app warns there's a weather condition in my area.
my dog gets too hot from running and sits in the water and i want to laugh about his long frame and how awkwardly he sits - and i can't. some simian part of my brain is scratching the walls. it was supposed to snow. it was supposed to snow, but now it's warm instead.
during the last full solar eclipse, the dogs and the birds and the crickets went crazy under utter darkness. we laughed at them then, promising it will all be okay in a moment. but some part of me is still locked in that long night: some animal sensation.
something is wrong, my body says. i can't afford eggs or rent. i go outside to watch a sunset and listen to birdsong. i don't bring a jacket. allergies are killing me this season, allergies i didn't have as a kid. everyone comments that halloween has started to feel strange, offkilter. that it's hard having "holiday cheer." my body thinks it's april, and then it thinks we're in september, and then june.
something is terribly wrong, she whispers. go outside. it is supposed to be snowing.
#spilled ink#warm up#.....#i had 2 people close to me die within a month#sorry for not being around#on the other hand#my friend code on pokemon go is#4747 8104 8180
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my mother leaving my sisters dog out so he can run around barking and upsetting tucker shouldn't surprise me and yet
#it's so dumb but also why lie that you're going to bed when you knew i was trying to sleep because i had shit#to do tonight but instead you let my sisters dog run around upsetting tucked causing me unable to sleep#like again so dumb but what the fuck is wrong with you#i feel like shit i'm sad about a fucking water bottle and now i'll be up til god knows when just so i can eat and do the shit i need to in#peace oh how my pot is boiling over with living here more and more each day and i can't do it anymore#i can't pretend anymore because it's stupid dumb fucking lies and shit like this that just drove me fucking crazy#eris: text#[redacted]
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It's so annyoing to have been getting regularly around 8-9 hours of sleep and to have started my essay so far in advance and yet here i am at 10pm when the damn thing is due at midnightnot even half done with it despite literally having spent most of my waking hours in the past 4 days working on it feeling so drunk on sleepiness that im near tears andnone of my sentences make any sense.
#i feel like my brain is just full of a big grey thundercloud i cant see anything and i can't think.#i am so tired i dn't even remember writing half of this sentence! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!#rlly sucks also that once this is done i immediately have to jump into the next final which is probably going to crush my spirit like a bug#and also sucks that im going to go home in 5 days and instead of actually resting i will just spend my days feeling like im trapped in a#tiny windowless room feeling progressively more and more crazy . bc idk how to relax + i hate how i feel when im at home#Okay that's enough of that just had to get it off my chest
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#??? last time i had mcds and timmys iced coffee i hated it i know for sure bc i had it more than once and my opinion was the same#but yesterday i got mcds vanilla iced and today timmys and both are fine??? i could drink these again 🤔#like my other go to is the flavoured cold brews at timmys like roasted hazelnut (gone sob sob) or tiramisu#and only bc sometimes id prefer proper liquid coffee instead of. iced cap.#but like. yeah. it doesnt have me going bLEGHH after multiple sips so somethings changed :o!#def a good thing though bc i needed caffeine and not an iced cap today.. girl im literally going to fall asleep on the way home#(hopefully im wrong)#44597#and ig i could get free coffee at work but they only start opening up the snack bar at the same time i clock in and if ppl come in#then i gotta go work so. id rather just have it rn bc im early anyway🥲#ALSO COFFEE DOESNT USUALLY MAKE ME FEEL ANY MORE AWAKE THAN BEFORE. whats up w that!!!#everyone jokes the coffee or iced cap is gonna keep me awake at night then i pass out faster than everyone else like!!#there are some times a few years ago where i had this coffee at a viet restaurant and oh my GOD#drank a good amnt of it at once. got out of there and my heart was pounding??? 😭#but i also barely drank any coffee then and i drink more now so idk 🤔 crazy heart rate didnt usually happen before#nd doesnt rn but i dont usually drink strong coffee.. i think... 🤔#but yeah sometimes that shit doesnt really pick me up at all but like. cope. im literally gonna fall asleep if i dont try smn 😭
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