#but in the everyday (or at least in my circle of friends) people dont even know what a ghibli film IS

[hella1975]

i have such a cute day ahead of me im currently eating scones and drinking my morning coffee (no it is not 12:06) and then im going to a coffee shop. this coffee shop was one of my FAVOURITES last year and every autumn/winter they do a cinnamon tea and idk if i've mentioned here but cinnamon is for me what catnip is to cats i go MENTAL for it id snort it like it's a-class if i could so obviously i get SO EXCITED for this drink. but the best part? last year when i lived AGES away from the city centre, id still trek all the way to this coffee shop bc i love it so much, but this year by PURE CHANCE i literally realised bc i walked past the coffee shop omw to uni the other day and almost stopped dead in the street in surprise, but i now live literally less than a three minute walk from the coffee shop. it's honest to god around the corner. im ECSTATIC. so i'll go there, HOPEFULLY the tea will be available but it might be early yet, do some writing (im so excited about this ive not written anything in weeks), and then go around the shops before coming home because!!!!!! me and my friend are having a ghibli marathon tonight!!!!!! life is beautiful

[hello-naptiime]

Hi gang

I see were talking about Jonathan Piss ass ToiletJon again

And as someone who was fucking THERE, WORKING FOR HIM WHEN EVERYTHING DROPPED

Oh my FUCKING GOD AM I SO PISSED OFF.

Welcome to my rant/vent

Mutuals look away Im sorry

Tw// for grooming and manipulation. General gross things in that area

Also Jinbop.

First of all Ashlie and Jon did was gross, but where Jon failed at literally everything Ashlie succeeded.

When the news dropped of what happened in 2017 Jon made a fucking video of him crying like a little man child, and then pressed charges (also doxxed himself like an idiot) WHICH IS INSANE BEHAVIOR. Even in his written respone he was only making excuses.

At that time I was in very close connection with him, I was on his build team, I played multiple games with him. He would come into vc and hang out with us for several hours, you could consider us friend maybe! I wouldnt.

But I was at the very least in a lot of personal servers.

So when things dropped I knew almost all of the behind the scenes BULLSHIT that was happening. How everyone waited for it to blow over and stuck by him. (I got kicked out of servers too cause people knew i was against him but I was still told everything by friends who were still in there)

Then February happened. And so much more, much worse things got exposed. From only his end. I won't mention who was involved, out of privacy reasons and because I dont want to drag them into this. But holy shit dude everyone left him after that. It was over, his gross behavior with minors (included me now that i think about, sir why are you calling me and my friends cute we are 15-) His awful and manipulative behavior with people he finds useful, how he treats his teams

. He never credited anything, I made his goddamn Dimensions s2 designs, Eddie made the skins. Only Eddie was mentioned, once on a stream.

Eddie also made designs and skins for Rosethorn, and got credited in video no less.

Its not that hard and yet!

The main point is

He was still acting in 2020, the incident was in 2017. And he was acting like this, in late 2020. Into 2021.

I wanted him to get better. I really did, I had been hyperfixated on this group of people for years it hurt a lot.

But its been almost three years and he infact has stayed the same!

He is a grown ass man acting like a toddler on a public twitter account, what makes this man some one to respect in any sort of way.

Theres so much more shit I know about this man, that I can't fucking say because of the people involved not giving me permission too. And I respect that. Thats their story to tell.

Now ashlie on the other hand.

Ashlie made a concise apology and owned up to her actions, shit she made sure not to happen again. She went to fucking therapy, she broke off that relationship first and has made so much effort to distance herself from that and apologize everyday of her life.

She went to therapy after breaking things off, and she went again after the callout just to double fucking check she wasnt a horrible person.

She initially handled everything that happened in 2017 in private, like youre supposed to do. Not have a public twitter meltdown. And in late 2020 still handled mostly everything privately. She wrote out a full explanation and apology that is still very visible on her yt channel, not her twt her full 100k subscriber yt channel

I THINK, THATS GROWTH and she should be respected for that. She's actively changed as a person from the 20yr that made mistakes

And what's crazy is that Max and Ross still make youtube videos with her.

Max and Ross, YKNOW. The people who made sure fucking Jinbop got arrested and stomp Sky's name into the fucking ground for the shit that Sky did. I 100% trust those two to make a decision about a person in their circle when theyre doing some FUCKED SHIT.

IN FACT, THEY DID DROP ASHLIE WHEN THE ALLEGATIONS CAME OUT. SHE WAS IMMEDIATELY KICKED OUT OF EVERYTHING INVOLVING THEM

And they came back. They came back and started making new things and videos with her, Ross is an active participant in almost all of her videos.

I think that speaks wonders about her.

Don't drag her name through the ground I respect that woman and all of her endeavors in the future, she has more than made up for the fact.

Jon is still an awful person, and I dont think he will ever change. He's had more than ample time to and acts like whinny child on Twitter. Actively tries to pull nostalgia bait on his dying yt channel and mocks his ex "friends'" work. I want him gone from the youtube sphere and to get an actual life.

[the-whispers-of-death]

literally just remembered i have an oc who would probably fit well-ish into the cod universe, as well as just. in the real world in general, cuz hes basically a background/filler character for when i just need. A Guy whos a jack of all trades. whenever something happened, he was there. "i know a guy" sorta guy, yk?

his name's sylvester and i dont even have a design for him besides beach blonde hair thats at *least* shoulder length, as well as short and lanky body. originally thinking of him as being in his mid 20s but like. no. so im bumping it up to lets say.. 42. ish.

originally he was actually a security guard type of guy, who then turned into a comms/IT specialist guy, but i see him being a radio host sometime further down the line in time.

now that im actually thinking about him, im enjoying the idea of him like actually being hired by the military because hes desperate and job-hunting was going awfully.

massive hermit though, i dont think he would care that hes on a literal military base surrounded by a buncha buff (and hot) people. bro's lowkey bi but hasnt dated since like highschool

hes there for a job, and then hes out. whats overtime? doesnt exist. something breaks at 5.02pm? tough luck. hes already in his car on the way home. adios suckers

and because of that i can see him appearing *very* standoffish and quite frankly like a massive dick and the type of guy whos there to do his job, not make friends

i do imagine him going around base like once a month and playing fix-it-felix with how often shit gets damaged. a lifesaver for those who wanna just crash in the "common area" and watch a random game, but couldnt cuz the cables were damaged.

i do think hes also the sorta guy that, when you finally befriend him and get past that "oh my god dont talk to me im busy" attitude, hed do literally anything for you. acts of service KING. type of guy to ask "hey im at the store, you need anything" and actually go trough with it. climbing in trough your window with a sopping wet carton of milk (it got punctured and half of it spilled on the way up. hes still delivering it though)

idiot loser white guy. hes got those pathetic little meow meow eyes. like nothing has happened to him, he just looks like that. i want to give him nerd glasses and hear him say "ermh, akhtsualleigh (<- actually)"

i think its funny how im plopping him in the cod universe where the most interaction hes probably had with the cod boys are when like. someones doing work and their computer bluescreens. thats it. absolutely no overlap. the venn diagram circles are 7 kilometers away from each other, actually.

idk hes like. a very boring guy and i love my stupidly everyday little guys. hes literally just some guy and thats all he needs to be

~ rusty

Stone, the king of overworking himself, @ Sylvester: What do you mean you don't do overtime?

Sylvester, probably: Overtime's for bitches.

Anyways, I think besides the overtime shit, Stone and Sylvester would get along. Because they're both reclusive.

[jrueships]

anon who asked me to post some of the nba player sun+moon combos that make me feel different degrees of insane.. grah grawh. unprompted and unelaborated for now. will reblog with more later because there is always more

I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL, idk if it's real or not & idc. it is fun & i like feeling like i am right abt things (i never am). leave me to my delusions please. im joking on these but also am i really

kyle lowry: ☀️ Aries, 🌙 virgo

what a bitch combo, people can't staaand you, huh! one moment you're having friends <3 you're having fun <3!! the next you're having a moment where you accidentally snap and regret everything but not fast enough for your friends and now all those friends of yours that made you so happy are gone and in the wind <3 with the only one left to blame being the only one left all alone : you <3 !!!

Ja Morant: ☀️ leo, 🌙 leo

do you even have your own personality at this point if we take away every outside influence youve tacked on to protect it or what. but hey, keep live, breathing, dying to the method acting, right 🥰 ?? cause when they hate you, it's not really hating YOU, huh? it's actually pretty genius !! ... i don't think YOU even know who's the real you at this point anyways, so no one will EVER hate the you you really are inside!! AND!!!!! they won't ever Love It either !

phenomenal acting ja! you're nothing without entertaining, as always 🥰 !! 🩵🩵

Anthony Edwards: ☀️ leo, 🌙 aquarius

'im not like OTHER girls'

* posts video of him being H*mophobic. *

Draymond Green: ☀️ pisces, 🌙 gemini

you could murder someone and still be the victim ( you have . )

JJJ: ☀️ virgo, 🌙 scorpio

the face of a man that would die if he couldn't throw in his stupid two cents into a fountain that specifically has a sign against throwing two cents in it .

Pg: ☀️ taurus, 🌙 leo

outside you're lovable until the wrong person (a person who actually DOESNT want to feed into the luxury of your own ego, WHAAAT😱😱?!??? NO FUCKIN WAY 🙀!!! ... AUTONOMY ⁉️⁉️) spends too much time with you for them to realize that you're actually a piece of immature shit. not even solid, liquid. the worst kind of asshole is an unpredictable asshole. because they can hurt the hardest and get hurt the hardest ( when it's least expected ). BUT YOU DONT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THAT TOO MUCH if you actively distance everyonee who DONT automatically feed into your own delusions and only surround yourself with people that do or make you feel secure to the fact that theyll never ever call you out enough for you to actually acknowledge how much your shit stinks!! because you devoted too much loyalty to them for that to even HAPPPENN!!! it's a COMPLETELY HEALTHY and MUTUAL and TOTALLY NOT CODEPENDENT relationship ‼️ they compliment YOU, feed into YOU, you give them what they want, work for them for whatever they want, you provide enough where they feel too weak alone without it.... or at least not Whole thanks to you merging to their side like a parasite BUT A HELPFUL ONE!!!! .. so they have no choice BUT to excuse your gluttony and your selfishness and stubbornness because man!! you just work SO hard, huh :( !! scorpios just HAVE to understand because they work just like you!! virgos too!! and cancers just HAVE to feel bad because you've done SOOOO much for them ALREADY , haven't YOU ? what a good relationship . it's so . ' loyal . '

they can't leave you because that'll tear out too much of the life YOU gave them !! they can't LIVE without you (now)!! and you know that because you made SURE of that !!!!!!! because you ONLY EVER actually try whenever it's what You want. if others end up benefiting from it as well. sure. whatever. as long as it always adds to Your wants and Your demands, they can have their little cookies or struggles or whatever other people face that aren't you .

( i just Know it eats him up everyday that he can't include cancer zodiac dame into his little circle of Close Friends That Are Close Friends Because They Agree With Me. i just Know It. )

double the loyalty with double the selfishness too! but you make sure only to hang out with the people that you KNOW need that loyalty so they can value it while excusing the .. certain cons that come with it. hopefully excusing it to the point of pretending it doesn't even exist!! that would be GREAT 😁😁!! ... considering that's the entire reason you did all this work in the First Fucking Place .

you're such a HEROOO, and if you can't be that... at least you can be mentioned as the sidekick! eitherway, you're getting the limelight you always work yourself (more like others) to view you in! congrats pg ! you really EARNED it.

deserved can be up to debate .

but wait, no actually. because you never let anyone in too deep that ever Dares debate with you! so nevermind . wow . congrats .

Deebo: ☀️ Leo, 🌙 Libra

leave me alone right now (DO N O T leave me alone i will CRY ) i just need some time to myself (WHY ARE YOU LEAVING M E ALONE?????? with TIME !?!?? to MYSELF????? WHOSE PERSONALITY CAN I BASE MINE OFF OF WHEN I'M ALONE ?@???? my OWN??!?!?!???) please just leave me alone or i might say something i don't mean ( please don't leave me alone or i might do something i might not mean ) i don't want to look clingy ( but let's be honest..) don't make me regret ( please )

Kd: ☀️ libra 🌙taurus

Keldon: ☀️ libra 🌙 scorpio

oh i just KNOW that preservation lying is Prominent and Delusional

Lebron: ☀️ capricorn 🌙 aries

all the achievements you already have pale when it comes to chasing after the unattainable. Living and yearning like a Gatsby

[pinkadork]

Im fine

Its not like ive been setting myself up what feels like forever to both really and also i guess not at all always be in the cycle im in. The predestined fuck up ig my moms a fuck up

Im a fuck up

I cant stay a job apparently

I’m too scared of every if and but when it comes to trying it to be creative and do things like i used too, nowadays i feel like its tainted because im not even finna be doing it because i like it anymore, but instead just proving i didn’t give up, when i did

I was tired, emotionally drained, put in a position i nor anyone really asked for but guess whose grandparents this belonged to

Im not a fucking mistake or a right person wrong time

I am a nigga thats has been struggling and it was before you sure but everyone in the fuck ass house kept trauma bonding new and old covid didnt fucking help.

How the fuck are we fucking but aint no protection or immediate showers available

How am i toxic for not wanting what felt like more like a: fuck my poor ass boy friends and dementia ridden grandparents( and while its not anyones job to guide me if we in a relationship and you feel some way say some shit some how ) the weirdest ( but unfortunately not worst) living situation ive been in, the deepest most confusing, loving yet infuriating, real yet faux ass relationship ive had with anyone.

Like even now I physically am sick to my stomach about the idea or notion of again my ex, someone who has dumped me like at least twice since July and lowkey high key didnt even count it it was like a secret trial i failed because ofc im not sure of you actually love me mr. I tell the world you beat me but sure we can play minecraft

Fucking the part the gets me the most about this is i know you know how i feel and its just

I feel set up

Like genuinely not just the relationship shit

And im not gonna act like i dont play my role in shit and attribute a lot to the shit that get me and others where we are but jfc im tired

I’m not the brightest bulb but im not a fucking dumbass

And i did more than read the room, i saw the patterns, felt the vibe shifts, and tried so fucking hard.

Its sad whatever im pathetic but i think i knew without saying it (and even saying this it doesnt mean all the people out with then bc some are still here and we cool but fucking) My ex was the realest mf i had in my circle, and which is probably why its hard being like man aint no fucking way we went out like that. Im not for the see you in a few years shit, im not for the go fuck around like i aint give my heart, i was (am) a dumb nigga that went to to college before dropping out after missing all my classes so i could be attached virtually at the hip to them

Its not their fault and for years i didnt feel that at all.

But the second i saw that they felt like they wasted so much on me and this that whatever man my blood got to boiling on some seafood type shi

Its like

You can do evil

They can do evil

And be vindicated and justified in ya own right because in ya head this is just karma and you standing up for ya self and

Then its like i do evil snd immediately fold because i aint mean shi

Nigga got slammed by me 2 or three times

And everytime it was some bs

I let you convince i was being an ass for feeling threatened because " weight and height and muscle” but fucking niggas never care about perspectives

Yeah we are arguing

Yeah im loud, which is infuriating because my usual everyday speaking voice whether it because i subconsciously (now very actively) am aware of how loud i can be, is actually very quiet and i tend to have to repeat myself and even did to my ex because yeah

Fuck im so high man

Its been awhile since i ran out of actual medicine

Like i feel like ive said its been like two weeks for like a month now.

Now i gotta go through new everything, finding insurance, therapy, reassessments, medication changes, so much has happened and yet nothing has, i got fired today, i think, i mean i definitely got the text “Your assignment is finished do not return anymore” but this is the first temp agency really that ive been at , its just like

Like that?

Its kinda how sudden i end up either in or out of someones life, ex, family, friends

Sometimes i feel like ive been so many different me’s and am constantly “coming of age” (metaphorically speaking or in case thats ominous still, like i feel like i do in fact get older but do to circumstance, bad choices, and a lot of fuckening, i very much am learning alot of basic shit i shouldve known, or yes i am just now learning how to not be like donny on the wildthornberrys

I truly was happy and want to die everytime i think about how unhappy i made them

Make them

The wont miss me when i die because im alive and they surely dont is the thing i come back to whether wrong or not it is

Sometimes i cry about things i dont know are true bit definitely feel on my gut or for those in the loop my LN

You can keep my heart in dont want it anymore

I know realistically im bugging and i just feel bad and i need meds and yadayada yada

Im gonna be blunt with ya chief, im blowing my fucking brains out gn

[mxtantrights]

The magic-spy and the bird

the best friends brother trope is in my top 5 tropes. but I've also got a thing for angst. So here we areeeee. enjoy! <3

dick Grayson x f!reader

Jason Todd had asked you specifically to ask his brother out. And he did use the word brother, which you made a point to bring up. He shot it down but still decided to push his message towards you. You should ask Dick out. It wasn’t that simple.

“Jay I don’t think you’ve thought this through.” you said.

He chuckled, “Of course I did. I wouldn’t say it out loud if it wasn’t a well-cooked plan.” 

You made a face at him.

“Okay look, all I'm saying is you’ve got nothing to lose. If anything you're way out of his league.” he said and then gulped down the rest of his beer.

You didn’t like beer and so you worked on a Pina colada. You had done the whole beer thing for years now. As a trained spy it was your go-to for missions at bars. Safe to say you were sick of ales, craft beers and everything in between.

“Ah yes, the magic using spy.” you nodded your head.

Jason nodded along with you. 

“Exactly. Bird brains would eat that up.” he said.

“And when would I tell him that I knew about his secret identity? Before I tell him about mine or after?” you asked. 

Jason sighed and raised his hand for another beer. You rolled your eyes at this. Once he had a thought it was very hard for him to let it go. Especially when it included a thought about people he cared for- no matter how much he claimed the opposite. 

“All Im saying is, you never know until you try.” 

“What are you a fortune cookie?” 

“Fuck off. I’m being serious and I do give great advice you can ask Duke.” 

2 DAYS LATER 

You look at Caliban with bated breath. He had just gotten info on a magic-based rebellion. Work was tight when you rolled with the good guys for too long of a time. You blame that on two men on your life, Jason and Constantine. 

“I’ll put in a good word for you.” he says.

“Thank you, I really appreciate it. And any-”

Before you can finish telling Caliban that he can call in a favor from you at anytime your surroundings change. In a flash you go from one of the underworld crime bars to a room you’ve never been in before.

You look around and sure enough you see the culprit. Constantine.

“There she is!” he smiles.

Not only did he summon you, he did so in front of an audience. Circled around him is Gotham’s crime fighting family. All of them except Jason, Cass and Duke. All of which know about your secret identity and would’ve stopped Constantine from summoning you. The rest of the family are all looking at you liked you’ve grown a second head.

You look down at what you’re wearing. The long sleeve off the shoulder skin tight black dress was the perfect choice for the club you were supposed to be in. Maybe not so much for a meeting with the Bats and his birds.

You look right ahead at Constantine, “I don’t like being summoned.” 

“Ah, but you’re the best person I know for this job. I had to get you over here.” he says.

You take a quick look at all the other people in the room. Then at the screen behind them. Your information is plastered on it. Well, the information that you’ve decided to let the government think was yours. Your codename was at the top of the screen.

“Constantine says that you’re the best way into the underworld.” Batman says.

You’re confused to say the least. Constantine was Constantine, why would he call you in order to get them into the underworld when he can do it himself? It defeats the purpose of having to call him.

“I’m sorry,” you direct to Batman and then look at your friend, “I need you to state specifically what I’m needed for.” 

Constantine moved from the family over to you. As he did you watched as Nightwing followed him with his own eyes. Now Dick knows you’re not just Jason’s friend from around Gotham. Great.

“Bats got intel that something it going down with this magic group, the-” he starts. “hex mutiny.” you finish.

“You already know about them?” Nightwing says.

“I was just getting someone to put in a good word for me with them before you summoned me here. You’ve got great timing you know that?” you say to Constantine.

He smiles, “Well then it seems like you can be of great service, spygames.”

“And what exactly would I be doing, if I can even get a spot with them?” you throw out the question to the family.

Red Robin crosses his arms, “We need someone on the inside to tell us what they are planning for Gotham.”

“I doubt they’d let a newbie in on their plans.”

“Good thing you won’t be a newbie.” Batman says.

Constantine conjures an amulet in his hand. You want to hit him over the head. He could really be a pain in the ass. You grab it from him.

“With this, you’ll be in the perfect position to get in and get out. Easy.” he says.

You shake your head, “Every time you say that I get a new scar.” 

“I promise sweetheart. No scars this time.” 

“Yeah yeah, you owe me for this.”

EXACTLY ONE WEEK LATER

You knew you would end up wounded. Typically with Constantine it was nothing deadly, or nothing your own magic couldn’t fix. But you knew that your luck had to run out some day. And it wasn't his fault.

After finding out what the group was really up to you couldn’t just let them operate. They weren’t really rebels. No they used that name to paint a narrative. They were fascists.

You held the wound to your waist to stop the bleeding. This would have to be the farthest you could go. There was no way you could run out of this. Not with the blood seeping through the cracks of your fingers.

At least you brunt the members down to the ash. It took a lot out of you. And that’s why you weren’t prepared for a hit that tore right through you. 

“Why aren’t you moving?” Jason, or Redhood, said through the comms.

You leaned against the hallway wall.

At least you’d die someplace pretty. When you first came in you didn't notice how clean and meticulous everything was. There were painting of famous magicians on the walls. Along with some stolen art, a Van Gogh or two. 

You ripped the amulet off your neck and felt the illusion fade. The necklace fell to the floor and you let out a pained breath.

“I think,” you coughed and on the clean wall was not splatters of blood, “this is it.”

You could hear Jason shouting on the other end. He was calling out your name, calling out for Constantine to come and help you. Duke was calling for you too. And you could’ve sworn you heard Cass say your name once. 

With your only free hand you tried to open a portal out of the base. You knew it would be useless as you had a mortal wound and portal magic works best under no stress and panic, or blood loss. The usual light from your hands glowed faintly until it didn’t.

“Constantine can’t summon you?” Dick asked.

At that you let your body drag down the wall until you reached the floor. When you did sit down more blood came out. So you decided to lay down horizontally. 

“Hey hey- I told you I wasn’t gonna let anything happen to you.” you hear Constantine through the comms.

You want to laugh, but it ends out more of a chocked gargle.

“I screwed up the mission. I deserve it.” you said.

“You did good. Better than any of us.” Batman said.

“Constantine you need to call in whatever favors you have to get her out of there. Now!” Jason shouted.

“Dont,” you started.

“No. We’re getting you out of there-”

“Jason, I’m not a saint. I never would’ve imagined going out like this.” you said.

Once you were born you were thrusted in this world. All you knew was to use magic as a weapon. To get ahead, to get power, to get the glory. And that lasted you until you turned 19. 

Then Constantine crossed paths with you. He was the one to show you that magic has other uses. Such as helping and healing. You learned the best stuff from him.  And you took what you learned and began to help in ways you could.

You didn’t go on the straight and narrow. Never did you consider yourself a morally correct person. Sometimes the lines were blurred, or they need to be blurred. And so you took down seedy organizations, went on recon missions all over the world.

It wasn’t justice. But it was close enough that you could sleep at night or the odd hours of the morning for more than four hours.

“Sweetheart I don’t break my promises.” Constantine said finally.

You were just beginning to feel your eyes grow heavy. The pain was starting to be comfortably numb. Then above you appeared someone you weren’t expecting in the slightest. 

“Caliban?” you asked.

“You owe me double.”

4 DAYS LATER

When you woke up you felt battered and weak You weren’t used to these feelings and you weren’t used to being so close to death. Everyday was a new experience when you’re the Priestess of Espionage.

You cracked open one eye to find a couple of deviants at your side. Jason, Duke and Cass. The youngest took the chair next to you while Duke and Jason seemed to take the floor. Since they weren’t in their gear you guessed that you were out for longer than a couple of hours.

“Not my version of hell but I’ll allow it.” you say in a raspy voice.

It wakes everyone up.

Jason and Duke bolt to your bedside.

“Why’d you almost die on me?” and “Are you feeling okay?” come from them both, respectively. It makes you want to laugh but when you feel the ache in your waist you stop yourself.

“I’m alive, so there’s that. Positives.” you answer.

Jason shoots his younger siblings a look and they scurry out the room. You try to sit up to ask what it was for but he puts his hands up for you to stop any movement. So you lay back down.

“He would kill me if you tore your stitches.” 

You shut your eyes, “Jason I don’t think Constantine would kill you per say.”

You hear the door opening so you decide to open your eyes. And sure enough you see Jason leaving the room and someone coming in. Dick Grayson, out of his suit as well. 

As much as you wanted to, you couldn’t read his face. Besides the clear betrayal that was there. He definitely knew that you knew he’s Nightwing.

“Hi.” you say.

His face softens, “Hi.”

“I just want to say that I would’ve told you about who I am. Sooner that you think actually but this mission kinda derailed all of that.” you say.

With his arm crossed over his chest he nods, “How long did you know I was Nightwing?”

You wince.

“For about two years now. Once Jason told me he was Red it was hard to not notice the similarities of the Wayne family and the Bat one.” 

He laughs at that and you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. It must be going good if he wants to laugh. 

“And when did he tell you that I like you?” he asks.

“He didn’t explicitly say that.” 

There’s a beat of silence. You’re looking at him and he’s looking at you. But he’s the one who seems to be holding his breath this time. You try to hide the smirk you feel forming on your lips.

“What?” he asks.

“Jason had told me that I should ask you out. He didn’t say anything about you liking me.” you answer him.

The red tint that covered Dick Grayson was absolutely adorable.

He nods his head to himself. Twice.

“I- I’m gonna get Jason for you.” he moved to the door.  And you don’t really know what to say. All your words get jumbled in your brain and you can’t put them together in a way that is smooth enough so you deicide to just try your best.

“If you were to ask me out, I would say yes.” you say.

He looks directly at you. Then his signature smirk appears.

“I’ll bring back some food for later.” he says.

“it’s a date.” you answer.

[kewltie]

thinking of bkdk in their late 40s when all their friends have already settled down with a family, izuku muses a lil forlornly how he would like to have someone to come home and katsuki just stares him dead in the eyes and says, "marry me then. i wont let you be lonely in that empty apartment."

the thing is bkdk are super successful heroes, they're the ranking no.1 and 2 and everyone knows their name but because izuku put so much effort into his career he never give himself the chance to meet someone and fall in love because the next things he know he's already 48 yrs old and still very single. as soon as he got right out of UA he had put himself right to work and hasn't truly stop since so izuku feels like he misses out on his youth, the flutter of first love, and now he feels like it's too late to grasp that chance again because he's too old to be stumbling around at love BUT here is katsuki suddenly telling izuku to marry him as though that would solve everything, solve izuku's worries and fears that he'll never experience love the way his friends had or knows what it feels to come home to a waiting arms that will comfort him after a hard day at work.

izuku first tries to laugh it off because katsuki cant be serious right?? but katsuki doesn't crack a single smile. "Do i look like im the type to joke about this kind shit to you?" he asks, voice steady and true. it is then that izuku realizes katsuki had meant every word he said.

but izuku still cant wrap his head around why would katsuki want to marry him of all things?? it is because they're both bachelor and wretchedly alone standing at the very top of their career where nobody can touch or hope to nobody can understand them like they do to each other?? izuku thinks that's a very dry reason to marry someone for the sake of convenience and not love at all because even though he'd devoted all his time to saving the world and helping ppl and HE'S OLD NOW but he still earnestly yearn to fall in love the ways all his friends had.

"If you needed company, we don't have to marry each other. I'm here for you always, you know that," izuku offers instead. "We're partners."

katsuki is silent briefly, then, he says, "You think i want to marry because you're convenience?"

Izuku blinks. "is that not it?"

"No," he says, all grave and serious, and for a moment izuku is breathless with realization.

"Oh," izuku replies, looking down at the table like it has all the answer in the world. "how long?"

"Since our third year at UA."

izuku jerks his head up, eyes wide with shock.

"what—I, wait, you can't mean that right?" he shakes his head as he flounders for the right words. they're both almost hitting their 50s now, so if it started in their third year then it would be 30 years of katsuki waiting for him, of pining over izuku and all that time was lost because of it.

katsuki press his lips into a thin line. "I have never lie to you."

"I—I'm not—" izuku flushes, because this wasn't anything he had plan for. who would anyway? no one would ever believe that katsuki has been in love with him for almost 30 years and izuku only found out about it now. even though katsuki has revealed the secret he has been hiding for 3 decades, izuku has no answer for him. he didn't notice katsuki's feelings for this long not because he chose to willfully ignore it but because he has never thought of katsuki in that light and that is the sad truth of it all. katsuki must have realizes that too because he doesn't press for more from izuku.

"i'm sorry," izuku says, mind racing to come up with a proper reply to katsuki's feelings because he deserves that much. "it's not you—"

Katsuki scowls. "shut the fuck up, don't even start that with me."

izuku quickly shuts his mouth, floundering for another reply that with save both of their feelings.

"Six months," katsuki says instead, eyes firm and never once dull since izuku has known him. "give me six months to convince you and if it doesn't work out we can get divorce then."

"you still want to marry me?!" izuku asks in disbelief. "shouldn't we like date first at least? isn't that how normal relationship work?!"

katsuki roll his eyes. "we co-own an agency, you have your toothbrush at my house, and we spent 18hrs out of 24 together almost everyday. our friends joke about us being a married to each other as much as to our work, we're each other's first emergency contact if something were to happen," he continues, straightforward like he's listing their grocery for today, "and i cant ever imagine wanting anyone more than i ever want you."

throughout this strange turn in their conversation, izuku realizes not once has he ever heard katsuki said he loves him but the way katsuki had revealed his unwavering devotion that lasts 3 decades and the dry, bluntness in which he spoken of wanting izuku, it's heavy. this hefty thing that katsuki has carried with him for nearly 3 decades, and in those years what izuku thought katsuki was just disinterest in any romantic connection because not once had izuku seen him look at another person, but it's because he has eyes only for izuku and nobody else.

izuku should have known never to expect anything less then 120% with katsuki because if there's anything that means something to katsuki, he would give it all and then some. it's humbling really, to be loved so fiercely and with such devotion that 3 decades is worth every second of it but izuku doesn't know if he's worth it especially when he's hesitant about his own murky feelings. he loves katsuki undoubtedly. they're partners in more way then one, but he doesn't know if he can love katsuki the way he deserves to be love in return, to return that same level of intensity.

"and what if the six months went by and there's nothing show for it?" izuku mumbles, hands clasp together under the table. i dont want to ruin this friendship of ours, he doesn't say. "what if you get bored with me and realized this isn't something you want now. what happen then?"

"you're stuck with me for life even if we get a divorce. i won't let you ever get rid of me either way," katsuki says, lips twitching with the slightest hint of amusement. "and if you're worry about me getting bored of you, don't. i fucking wont." It’s firm, assured, and completely sincere.

izuku thinks anybody with a half a brain at all would see this admirable man right in front of them with his unwavering affection and devotion that he had nurtured for 3 decades would be half way in love already, but izuku neither race or skip a beat; it remains dull and unmoved. maybe he's really too old to love like this. maybe, it's not that he's too busy to ever search for it like everyone else but because he has all the love for everyone but none ever hold a special place in his heart. for all of katsuki's sharp edges, his feelings burn ever so brightly while izuku has since been numb to his own emotions. to give too much to the world, to his job that he has never let himself fall freely and unconditionally. it's terrifying.

"what if i hurt you instead?" he says, quiet and severe. "what if in the end i couldn't return what you've given me?"

katsuki doesn't answer right away. the air around them tenses, threatening to suffocate them in the waiting silence. then a hand grab his and draws it toward katsuki's chest. "don't fucking underestimate me, idiot. i can and will make you fall in love with me in 6 months. 6 months is more than enough to make you realize what a fucking dumbass you have been the entire time for not taking notice of me while i have been looking at you for almost half of our life," he says with the cocky assurance that propelled him to the no. 2 position and beyond.

for the first time since this exchange had started and taken a strange, strange turn that left him his world shaken to its core, izuku's heart feels lighten. He stifles a giggle. "i still think we should date at least. marriage is maybe jumping the gun a little too soon."

"No." Katsuki's eyes narrow, and he squeezes izuku's hand firmly. "i'm not giving you any chance to escape from this. we can do all the dumb dating things you could ever want but we're getting marry first."

izuku tries to draw his hand back but katsuki remains undeterred. "Kacchan, please," he says. half begging for his hand back and half pleading against his insane idea. who in their right mind would ever marry first then date each other?! That's just not how it work! yet, katsuki is an unmovable fortress against increasing izuku's distress.

"deku," he says, thumb running across izuku's knuckles in a soothing circle, "give me this chance. let me prove it to you that i can do it. take this leap of faith with me and i won't disappoint you. trust me with your heart like you trust me with your life and i promise i will keep it safe."

izuku draws out a long, lingering breath that leaves his head heady with a dawning realization. "o-okay," he finally acquiesces, shaken with the knowledge that his heart suddenly doesn't feel safe at all for the first time in a long time in the hands of the man in front of him. bakugou katsuki is dangerous, but to the tender beat of his heart.

Katsuki's lips stretch upward into a small, precious smile that rarely see the light of day, leaving izuku breathless just for a moment. "we'll go get the marriage license tomorrow."

"tomorrow?!" izuku shrieks.

maybe he has been wrong all along, maybe you're never too old fall in love and experience it for the first time and that sometimes the things that matter the most to you are always worth the wait even if take 3 decades and katsuki always been more patient then people give him credits for.

[deleteddewewted]

Incel!Shinsou Oneshot: "Why are you acting like that?”

To keep busy I just thought that a oneshot of Shinsou getting self conscious/needy would be cute since we already have his redemption arc rolling in. The next part of the Incel!Shinsou series (Part 3) will have him proving his worth at the Sports Festival. So in thinking of how he will prove himself to you I thought of how will all of those people affect him, especially you. ( This oneshot takes place pre changes, so Shinsou is still his disgusting self but he's figuring out how to woo a woman, especially of your caliber.)

Incel!Shinsou Series:

Part 1: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Part 2: Incel! Shinsou x F!Reader

Incel!Shinsou Headcanons

"I know what you're doin' here. Made your intentions clear. Oh you, you terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Terrible thing, you. Beautiful thing"

TW: Strong Language, Mild Sexism

People were never an obstacle when it came to the things Shinsou wanted. He’s aware that others would do anything for him if he played his cards right. The right words with the right question did wonders for him. So why the fuck couldn’t he have what he wanted when it came to you? You drove him up the wall with the kindness you showed him. He didn’t deserve it and you’re existence almost felt like a punishment from whatever deity that existed out there to make him suffer. You guys were suppose to be studying for your upcoming project that required a poster, a slide show, and one influential person that would help prove your projects point. You left him running circles within his own mind as to how you were so willing to challenge him. He wanted you to obey him not see through his bullshit. It wasn’t like you didn’t listen to him vent, or didn't give him attention, but he wanted to hold you under his control. To be the person you listened to.

In class you where both seated on the extreme ends of the room on opposite sides. You never realized this (you do), but his head would periodically turn towards your direction to look at you, to figure you out (liar). This time, you managed to catch him do it.

“What are you doing?” You asked plainly. You honestly didn’t care that he was staring, everyone does when you dress like you're attending an MCR concert in the middle of autumn.

“You look different....today.”

“Nice.” It was difficult to care. Shinsou was just some guy in your class that you had to deal with. Nothing special really....ok, maybe it wasn’t fully true. You didn’t really know him all that well or anything (Unless it was mocking and belittling everything you did, that was normal behavior for him so it wasn’t surprising to find out he was like that outside of campus.) but he wasn’t all that bad? If he cared for himself a bit more, hygiene wise he would be considered handsome or at least a competent human being (you weren't going to call him a man, men don't act this childish. At least the ones you knew.) Maybe then you would take his opinion seriously, but for now you’ll ignore his...interesting comments he's been throwing towards you today.

“It’s rude to ignore someone when their talking to you, you know?” The neutral face he had now possessed a frown and a furrow to his brows. You still couldn’t process how he took the time to make sure his hair stayed purple but didn’t care for his body odor. (This man dyes his hair purple yet cant bother to shower or use deodorant for once in his life.)

“I’m not ignoring you, I’m just not interested in anything you have to say.” With that you get up and take your things and leave. There was no point in wasting time on someone who couldn’t even look at you directly and had to also sneak glances at you. "Do I really look that unbearable?" you thought to yourself. In the end you didn’t care anymore, everyone was entitled to an opinion and the last thing you need is feeling self conscious because of your out of place classmate.

Shinsou was fuming. How the fuck did you just get up and leave his ass while he was trying to complement you. You should have been more appreciative that he was giving you his attention for once. A bitch like you wasn't even worth it so he doesn't understand why he even tried with you.

He never goes directly home after school but instead to the local theater. It was one of the few places where he could be around others and could genuinely be himself. It was weird, he didn't feel like himself when he was speaking with his "friends", friends that he's never spoken to verbally, never seen, and never would meet. He knew that he didn't deserve this, to have a safe haven when he acts like an ass, yet here he was.

"Good morning Shinsou! How are you? Are you ready for rehearsals? You did remember to read your lines, right?" Shinsou rolls his eyes at his theater mates antics. Monoma never seems to stop but he does know when to tone it down and when it comes to Shinsou he tones it down a bit. (Because Monoma is canonically considerate of others, look back the Sports Festival and the Joint Training Arc.)

"Im good man, yes i did read and memorized the script, dont worry about it." What an odd friendship, the most chaotic gentleman like man out the bunch with the quietist incel in the group. Shinsou should have seen it coming when he was adopted by Monoma but he's running on 2 to 4 hours of sleep so he doesn't really care.

Believe it or not Shinsou does take showers (only for theater) but very quickly and with no care (no shampoo or soap, fucking why man.) Theater means more to him and so making his character look the best they possible can was his first and foremost priority. He puts on his costume, gets to makeup (the minimum, because it's "gay" for him to wear makeup and since the world is unfair and cruel he has perfect skin for a greasy headed asshole.)

"Everyone get a move on! Kodai, Tsuburaba, and Awase! Go to stage left! Light techs, how's it up there?" One of the tech heads shouted out. Shinsou and Monoma got to their positions on the stage and the rehearsals began.

Love, the play was about love. Love that wasn't rejected but also not accepted. He didn't understand the concept fully. Was it romantic? Platonic? Familiar? Admiration? He loved his dad, but he mostly admired him. He worked long hours and middle resents him for not being there for him, yet he realizes that his dad works to give him the world, a home with all the things he wanted. He never had a mother so he never had parental or familiar, again his dad was there but he wanted a parent that would hold him when he came back from school everyday. He didn't have a girlfriend, so he doesn't know romantic. So far all of his characters where villains, or evil in some way. He was starting to get sick of them. Shinsou wanted something more, wanted to play a character that wasn't how everyone saw him as on his day to day life. He wanted a challenge, he wanted....affection. Just to show it. He wanted attraction. Just to abuse it. He wanted...love. To just...maybe...feel...enjoy...understand it.

"You terrible thing you. My love, you're so cold. You've left me hanging on every one of your words. You've made me loose my self, lose my self-control because of you!" He pours everything into his performance, his loneliness, his regrets, his experience. He's been told by his co-performers and directors that he has a great future in the arts, in theater. If he just took care of himself more he would be an amazing actor, not only incredibly talented but also attractive. He would have the world kneeling, bowing to him just from his words alone. He could have anything he wanted just because of his existence.

" You've made me do things i don't want to do...for you." Kodai stands there looking horrified. He's covered in blood, the blood of her lover, the one she left him for.

"No, i-i didn't-"

"YOU MADE ME-MADE DO THIS FOR YOU! You terrible, terrible, terrible thing! You beautiful thing, I've done this for you!...and you still cant and won't love me." He doesn't see Kodai anymore. It's not her face he sees, nor her voice that he hears.

Its you...its your voice. You. You looking back at him while he slowly lowered himself to kneel and crawl towards you. It's you who backs away from him as he starts to cry and hiccup.

"You wreck me, you made me. You leave me in your wake, please let me go!" He sees you and feels you grabbing his wrists back, pushing him into himself.

"Don't you ever let me go...."

You terrible beautiful thing, you.

And here we are again. This was a lot fun to write since it feels more concrete when it comes towards his personality and his full thought process. In many cases people like Shinsou just want attention or some sense of validation, which there is nothing wrong with wanting those things but it's more about the manner you go about it. You shouldn't pressure or force others to spend time with you, but there is always someone out there that will like to give you those things.

Tag list: @blossominglark

[someone1348]

This is for my lovely best friend who was kind enough to write me a fic! Here's yours! @sleepy--anon i hope you enjoy!

People in this: Ler!Sapnap, Lee!Quackity

(Karlnapity romance so if you dont like that dont read it!)

Tw: like the smallest bit of angst (jealousy) pretty much! Thats it though it's soft! For the most part! And mild cursing!

Plot: While Karl is out on a "business trip" (time travel stuff) he leaves his other two husband's alone and well lets just say it was an eventful evening to say the least

With all that being said enjoyyyy :]

___________~☆°♡°☆°♡°☆~______________

Jealousy

Tickle fights and Tickling in general was almost an everyday occurrence in the Karlnapity household. It pretty much was second nature to the three.

With that comes ler moods and lee moods poping up left and right. Typically between the three Sapnap was ler the most, followed by Quackity with Karl most of the time being lee, nothing bad of course, they loved the dynamic of everything from this specific thing to how their relationship worked. They were happy and that's all that mattered.

The days went on as they normally do.

"EE! SAHahap! StahAhap!" Karl would twist around from Sap's evil fingers pushing at the boy's hands, giggling freely as quackity watched smiling a bit as his two husband's went on to do what they do.

It was always like this for the most part. While he was getting a snack,

"No pLEase!! Hehe" Karl's beautiful laugh could be heard from the other room.

While cuddling, sap would run his fingers over the time traveler's stomach sending sweet giggles to flow out of their husband's mouth.

Even in the store one time Sapnap poked at Karl's sides. Of course Quackity would join in sometimes to tickle his favorite lee (leaning) fiancé, but he was jealous, beyond jealous.

Seeing this everyday not only built up on his lee moods but he just wanted to be involved, not just in tickles but in the relationship. He wants cuddles and attention and affection from the two people he loves most.

And yeah with the lee moods he has bad but it's not the same. He wants his husband's and so help me thats what he was gonna get. He was a man on a mission.

'Let's goooo!!' He thought in his head as he started the day.

Karl had left last night, the bed was alot colder now. He turned to see Sap curled up onto his side his mouth slightly a-jar with his hair flowing perfectly on top of his face.

He sighed happily lightly pushing some of the hair out of his face. He couldn't remember the last time he felt this happy and in love.

'I'm gonna make him breakfast' He thought getting up carefully as to not wake him and got started on cooking up his favorites.

Not even 20 minutes later the firey boy poked his head into the kitchen

"Waffles?"

"Mhm"

"Mmmm yay! Thank you babe!"

Quackity smiled "Anytime"

After the two finished the scilence became loud.

"What do you wanna do?" Quackity asked rocking a bit back and fouth on his heels trying not to make the scilence anymore awkward.

"I got work to do so you entertain yourself, I'll be quick"

Quackity nodded "okay! Good luck!"

"Thanks" Sap said shooting him a smile leaving back to their shared room to do the said work.

The beanie boy sighed flopping down onto the couch. He flipped on a random channel and texted Karl.

'Hey Baby!! I hope your trip is going good,we miss you and can't wait to see you tomorrow!<3'

(10:35)

He held the phone close to his chest letting out another sigh. He knew in his heart that Sapnap was gonna be busy all day so instead of sulking he told him he was going for a walk.

He went walking around, coming back, making more food, playing video games. All while sap typed away at the keyboard.

It wasn't helping at all it only increased the feeling of wanting to be with his Sapnap, his fiancé, he wanted attention and love dammit!

The smaller boy marched up to their room.

"SAPNAP!!!"

the bandana wearing man shook and snaped up to look at his clearly ticked off tiny lover.

"WOAH! what!?! Yes?!" He said furrowing his eyebrows.

"Are you done yet?"

The other slowly blinked "uhhhh,," he looked back at his work "nope not yet"

"Too bad! You are now finished because i say so!" He crossed his arm's

"Ha! Yeah thats cute hun but im busy, i gotta get this done, im sorry, I'll be there soon"

Quackity scoffed "whatever" he left as sapnap sighed

'He's never like this, maybe i should stop and check on him' Sapnap thought closing his laptop quietly sneaking up on his amazing fiancé on the couch.

"HIYA!" he tackled him to the couch holding him close.

"WA!- SHIT!" he fell over with him now in a cuddly trap, smiling widely giggling a bit.

"What's wrong Quacky babe" Sap said concerningly putting his head to his adorable smol husband's shoulder.

"I wanted to hang out together,,, i want to be involved, i want attention and affection and love sapnap and i haven't gotten anyyy in a long time" Quackity spilled out as sap processed everything.

'Looking back i see where he's coming from, it's been alot of Karl-'

"Don't get me wrong i love karl and i love giving him attention and affection and everything and i love watching you two be that way with each other i just i guess i felt a bit left out"

Sapnap nodded,

"Im Sorwy baps, forgive me?" He used his small voice making quackity cringe a bit jokingly.

"Give me attention and we will see what happens" He smirked

"Hmmmm" He anticipated his moves and ideas watching quackity's eyes that were pointed right to his hands

'So that's what he wants' he smirked wider lightly running his fingers slowly up and down his sides.

The other on top of him tensed "s-sap"

"Yea babe?" He said as if he wasn't tracing the man's sides with tickly anticipation.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Giving you attention, isn't that what you wanted?" He smiled at him as Quackity sank into Sapnap's embrace leaning his head on the pillow behind them, Sapnap's head still on his shoulder.

Sap lowly giggled quickly stittering his hands his stomach then back to his sides watching him lift up and squeak.

"You're such a dick" Qauckalee said in a joking matter making Sapnap's smirk deepen.

"Oh im a dick?!" He digged into his stomach watching as quackity squealed digged his heels to the end of the couch.

"NAHAHAHAHA! SAHAHAPNAHAP!"

"Thats my name love~" sap moved closer towards his bellybutton.

"AYEHE NOT THERE!"

"Yes there! The giggle button has been unpressed for wayy to long, i need it to make up for the lost times Quackity"

"NOOHONONONO- AH! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA GEHHEHEHE! GOHOHO-EEP!"

Sapnap giggled with him taking in every werid noise and laugh that the touch starved lee had made.

Seeing it was clear he wasn't used to it he slowed down moving back to his sides lightly to get his breathing steady again.

"Easy tiger, i got you" he reassured him getting his breathing together

"Im gonna getcha'!" Sapnap said moving up towards his ribs scribbling along up and down and In-between.

The smaller's back arched as his giggles mixed into light laughter.

"AyEehehe naha-Ha! Tickles!! It tickles!!" The man rang out trying to squirm out of his fiancé's tickle trap.

"Thats the point Quacker's im hungryyyy i need your giggles to surviveee" he lightly blew a raspberry onto his neck, the other scrunching up

"Nomnomnom" he made fake eating sounds, playing pretend before blowing another raspberry into his neck.

Sapnap giggled and stopped holding him close rubbing circles into the top of his hand

"Come here bubba" He lifted Quackity up letting him wrap around him while he got a blanket.

Sitting back down he put the blanket overtop of them throwing on the Disney movie Coco for some well deserved aftercare and fiancé time, Playing with his hair Sapnap smiled down at his man kissing the top of his head.

"We gotta get you a haircut buddy its so long" he teased as quackity laughed

"I'll get a haircut the day you shave" the tired one teased back both laughing together enjoying the moment, the beanie boy slowly falling asleep on his chest.

"Goodnight handsome" he placed another kiss to the top of his head.

*Ding!*

Quackity's phone went off, Sapnap looked, it was Karl.

'Hi bubby!! It's going lmao, i miss you both so much too! I'll be home soon i promise! And when i do get home It's cuddle time! Hehe I'll talk to you soon quack baby! Tell sap i said hi and that i love him too! *mwah!*'

(8:17)

Sapnap smiled and put the phone back down to the side of him, smiling at the boy in his arms.

'Homework can wait'

_________________________________________

I absolutely LOVED writing this! I love Karlnapity! I hope you all enjoyedd! :]

[thewickerking]

everyday i wake up. i find a mutual in law whos blocked me. like whyyy i dont even do anything on this website. some ex muts too like what. i feel like i have very little internet presence outside of talking to specific internet friends on like. discord like what do i do on TUMBLR that makes ppl want to hardblock me. i swear i was blocked less by mutual in laws on my old account where home.stuck was one of my top tags (im an ex hs fan for context i do not support it and actively hate it) like ??? i KNOW im overthinking this its literally tumblr who cares and i laugh abt it a lot but idk it bothers me like im not fixated on it pleeease dont think im that terminally online or anything i think im just mental illness 👍

like idk idk i put a huge amount of energy into how im perceived bc it matters a lot to me that people around me like me ..like irl i will buy food for people i despise bc i want ppl to have positive associations with me soo bad . this isnt like an "ohhh im such a nice person how dare u not like me im so nice" thing bc i absolutely can and will be an asshole and im constantly walking the line between "im overly self confident for fun" and "i genuinely think im better than everyone and will say it" and like a bunch of other stuff i dont have to list all my flaws to make a point (<- almost did but decided againist it)

anyways idk idk!! im so likeable irl which again sounds very egotistical but is literally true like im not afraid of confrontation or anything but im friendly and honest and ppl generally enjoy me being around which is something ive worked sooooo hard to make true and like. idk mutual in laws are people i see around and i like having little friends in my phone ! mils feel like classmates u see around but dont talk to much and the idea of that like. category (is that the right word..) of people not liking me is genuinely upsetting i literally dont have anyone in my entire school who doesnt like me or like. feels more negative abt me than positive or neutral (to my knowledge at least..)

like idk i feel like im going in circles and i genuinely am not super invested in this it isnt consuming my every waking thought or whatever its just frustrating and im a bit paranoid people are talking shit about me and like........ i am fine confronting issues people have with me like if theres a genuine issue pleeeeease talk to me abt it i would rather be confronted with an issue of mine out of nowhere then be blocked but most of the people who have me blocked probably have for things that arent objectively bad but annoy them like spam rbing or whatever (i dont think i spam the dash or mass rb from ppl but idk i might to some ppl) but i dont knowwww and its driving me off the walls <- will literally stop caring abt this in 5 minutes and it just thinking about it really hard rn and making my self feel worse by overthinking but also feeling better by talking it out instead of letting it fester

anyways sorry for the lack of read more im on mobile :( but like yeah im just talking it out ill feel better and more normal when i post this bc i just need to tell people things even if they dont matter just to have them out there and feel real or smn idk. i dont really get why it works but it does so yay ^-^

[sokkas-honour]

Black sheep: prologue -mako x reader

pairing: mako x fem!reader 

summary (rlly need to work on this):  they met working for the triads but sadly, leaving the criminal life behind isnt as easy as the brothers or their closest friend thought.

w.c: 1.2k

note: it’s my first time writing in a while so there might be a bunch of mistakes so feel free to point them out! also request for any atla/lok/tdp ship and character are open!! also massive thanks to @biqherosix for helping me out and listening to be spitballing :)

tw: mention of a gang (triad), slight mention of parents death but no details

taglist (always open): @biqherosix @draqondance (hopefully you dont mind)

prologue - part 1 

—————

“Ah y/n, there you are. Did you get the message to Viper?” Lightning Bolt Zolt asked you as you entered their hideout. You nodded, you’d been recruited by the triad a couple of days after the incident that resulted in your parents death which had been at least a year ago. They were surprisingly welcoming and the leader had taken a small liking to you but he’d never say that out loud. You had sworn your allegiance to the Triple Threats meaning you got full protection from the triad, a place to live and even bending instructors. 

The current hideout where you lived was situated under an earth kingdom inspired bar and was dimly lit by a couple of lamps hanging from the ceiling that shone a light in a small circle. The rest of the room was lit by candles that firebenders turned on and off. One of the black lamps sat right on top of a table where elder members gambled and played cards, it illuminated the table just enough for the people that played but barely affected the younger members around who were oh so desperately trying to see what was going on.

Near the back of the room that you first saw as you came down the stairs was a small bar counter where the majority of the alcohol and food sat. Lightning Bolt Zolt also had a velvet seat in front of said counter where he had a clear view of the entire common room. A lamp also hung above the bar counter but he had a couple of candles lit around him in order to seem more menacing.

Once you came down the stairs from the staff room of the bar, a couple of steps into the common room, there was a corridor that lead to a few rooms that only the higher ranked members could use but they had given you the smallest one in order to keep you safe as well as keep an eye on you. The senior members weren’t always there, they sometimes switched from hideout to hideout or lived in their own houses but always had a room in the basement in case they needed to hide from the cops or lay low for a while. Someone in the higher ranks was always on thin ice with the law so you usually had someone like Zolt, Zhen or even Shady Shin sleeping in a room across from you.

“Wanna take a go at firebending?” The leader asked before you exited the room. They were aware of your bending abilities but had noticed that you seemed very reluctant to even use your gift. They usually had a strict bending only policy but they made an exception for you as you were great at relaying messages between members, deep down though, they hoped you’d start firebending again because you showed so much promise in your hand to hand combat training.Occasionally puffs of fire would come out when you really got into your sparring sessions but refused to make anymore than that.

Much to Zolt’s dismay you shook your head. With a sigh, Zolt grabbed an apple that had been freshly bought that sat on the bar counter and extended it to you with a small smile. “No problem, remember Zhen is always available for more hand to hand combat. Isn't that right Zhen?” Zolt turned his head to make eye contact with the older member who nodded slightly before returning to his card game.

You shook your head but gladly took the apple out of his hand, only realising then that you hadn’t eaten since that small bowl of rice you had for breakfast. He excused you with a curt nod. You took that as your cue to leave the room infested with the criminals that had served as your family for the past year and head to the privacy of your room. Your room was quite small, just big enough for a bed and a small sort of hopper widow that gave you a small view of the bustling streets of Republic city. Thousands of people walked by you and the bar everyday and had no idea that the eldest triad were hidden there. You adored people watching even though you could barely see people’s feet. Next to your bed was a small bedside table with a candle that had been turned on by some firebender while you were gone. You only had a select choice of clothing notably three pairs of red pants to honour your fire nation heritage, two plain shirts, a white tank top and a beautiful blue dress that Shady Shin had gotten for your birthday not too long ago so you’d have something fancy in case you ever needed one. A few female members had promised to take you on shopping sprees when you got older so you’d blend in better as you grew. 

You also had a small stack of books that meant the world to you near your bed. They were your parent’s and one of them was your favorite book of Fire Nation legends and you reread whenever you missed them. You had no idea what you’d do if you lost it and you could never buy it again as your mother had even written little notes in it and doodled in it, she had even included a family picture. She had planned on keeping the book when you grew out of it so she could give it to you as a 16th birthday present but unfortunately, that’ll never happen.

An hour or so after you had finished your apple, Zolt called for you. His voice carried all the way to your room so you jumped up and quickly made your way to the common room. You noticed that the majority of the newer members had left and only select senior members like Zhen were still gambling. You made it to the leader’s side when you finally noticed that Shady Shin stood in front of the lightning bender with two boys next to him. One looked to be around your age, you would’ve guessed 14 at the most. He had jet black unkempt hair and sharp tangerine eyes, making you believe that he must’ve had some sort of fire nation heritage. The boy next to him was shorter and looked 10, maybe 11 and looked way too innocent to be anywhere near a triad but then again, so did you. The younger one had similar black hair but instead had green puppy eyes.

“Meet your new teammates, they’ll be living on and off around here but we’ll mostly help you with messages and accounting.” Zolt introduced them, extending a hand to show the two brothers. “Now y/n darling, why don't you give them a small tour of the place while I talk with Shady Shin over here.”

You nodded and indicated the brothers to follow you down a hallway opposite to the stairs as opposed to the rooms that lay adjacent to them.

‘I’m y/n, what about you two?” You asked as soon as Shady Shin and Zolt were out of ear shot. Whenever Zolt asked you to not listen to a conversation you obeyed, he was still after all a powerful and dangerous man. The taller boy spoke for the both of them.

“I’m Mako and this is my brother Bolin.”

[fipindustries]

Mouth Dreams analysis

MOUTH DREAMS

I dont even need to introduce to you the marvelous mash up works of neil cicierega’s mouth trilogy (now quadrilogy i guess). We all know them, we all love them and we all have our own interpretations of what they mean. For some merely musical shitposting, for others clever experimentation laden with phrases, leivmotifs and themes repeating here and there, and for many a deep and rich bounty of lore, hidden messages, subtextual stories and underlying narratives implied across multiple variations of all star, hidden in the meta data and uncovered only after doing spectrographic analysis on the soundwaves of the songs after being played at x0.000003 times the speed. It is usually understood that all the albums together form a unique and rich tapestry, a coherent whole that can be understood in its totality. Im not here to do that.

I came up with my own interpretation of what Mouth Dreams can be read as, independent from the other albums. Think of it as me presenting this entry as the soundtrack of a musical with its own self contained story. It is the interpretation that i chose to go by and i hope its understood the brilliance of these albums lies on how weird and vague and open ended they are such that any number of different readings can be extracted from them. So lets see the one i extracted, without further ado, lets begin.

Yahoo

It is an out of context, in media res, start for the whole story. We hear a voice, echoing in the void, yelling at the top of its lungs, reaching desperately for human conection. One form of looking at this song is that the voice only receives an empty response from its own echoes, but i dont take it like that. The song is too sublime and too beautiful for these, the notes soaring too high, the desperate plead is being answered. Someone is listening to the plead and answering right back, harmonizing.

This whole album is in a way that howl, reaching to others, and we the audience are answering back, listening. But also on another level, this whole album is the protagonist telling the tragic story of his own life to some sympathetic figure who wants to help, perhaps a therapist, perhaps a friend, perhaps a partner, we’ll see. And as the yelling subsides the story starts proper.

Mouth dreams (intro)

We are being slowly taken into the story, entering the psyche of the main character, entering their subconscious, their dreams, their memories and therefore, their past. We’ll see what life they led and how they ended up where they are now and we start right at his infancy with….

Spongerock

Spongebob is a great indicator that we are seeing this person’s early childhood. They seem to be a rambunctious and energetic child. Cheerful and enthusiastic, yet there seems to be some underlying aggression there. The music is a bit to strong, and in comes freddy mercury berating the poor kid “you’ve got mud on your face, you big disgrace”. Who is this entity being so hostile to a poor kid? What lies beneath that image of a happy kid? We are about to see on the next song.

Just a baby

This is where trouble starts. We are treated to a dramatic song about a poor young baby who seems to be having a pretty sad life. Justin bieber, former teen idol, keeps lamenting about the poor baby being stuck in baby jail. This song is very much about loss of innocence. A shadowy figure of the mother is introduced who tells the protagonist to be a good boy. And almost at the end of the song we get a suggestion of what’s so wrong on this poor kid’s life. His mother apparently “shot a man in reno”. We dont know if this is a literal thing the mother did or if this is a metaphor for the mother doing something horrible, commiting some crime, harming someone in some way. While its not clarified we see strong hints of what the mother could have done in the next song

Superkiller

As we worry what may be so wrong with this kid’s mother we come across the title for this song, ominous. Now in the original Psycho killer the killer was clearly the singer, but in here the song is twisted and turned a bit, recontextualized by the beats of “cant touch this”. It seems like this time is the singer the one who doesnt want to be touched by some nefarious figure (the mother? Is the mother a psycho killer?) maybe the kid saw the mother killing people “i dont like people when they’re on fire”. whatever the case might be the kid is clearly strung up and under a lot of stress and we are introduced to the first hint of the insomnia that will plague this persons life who cant sleep because “my bed’s on fire”. The horrible situation in which this kid is living is taking a severe toll on their mental health. How is he going to cope with this?

Get happy

I think everyone can agree that “come on get happy” is incredibly unnerving when mindlessly repeated over and over. A first read might suggest the kid is forced to put on a happy face, to pretend that there is nothing wrong going on with their life. But as the song progresses it could also be interpreted as the kid being tempted to find refuge from the horror by unsavory methods “get happy” as in acquire happiness of a forced and artificial kind, perhaps drugs. But also “we’ll make you happy”. The kid is not running into a rabbit hole on their own, they are being invited. Its possible that the kid is being seduced by a bad crowd to move into seedy circles as an escape from their life.

Ribs

In here we see the kid, probably a young teenager by this point as suggested by the use of marylin manson in this song, falling deep into debauchery. The specific kind is not needed to know, it could be drugs, it could be sexual experimentation, it could be criminality. Point is this is unhealthy and dangerous and depraved, emphasized by the title of the song “ribs” as a reference to the rumor that marilyn manson removed two of his ribs in order to perform autofellatio. Whatever the case it clearly works, the song is actually a great bop, energetic and upbeat, the kid is content with the situation, at least for a while…

My mouth

This song is the coming down from the high. In here we see at full blast how the life of depravity on the one side and their situation at home on the other have turned the character into a hardcore insomniac, their health is severy compromised “My eyes feel like they're gonna bleed

Dried up and bulging out my skull”. Another way to read this song is as we momentarily cutting back to the present. After all, what we have been seeing until now has been dreams/memories and this is a short look at the wreck that the person is as a grown up, stirring awake from their memories and trying desperately to forget or to go back to sleep where they can have a reprieve. As evidenced by the next song

Aerolong

I dont wanna miss a thing is completely turned on its head. As the lyrics clearly demonstrate is the protagonist who cant go to sleep being chased by their memories, specifically the memories of their mother “I don't miss you, babe, and I do want to miss a thing”. As the person is tossing and turning on their bed, unable to sleep they talk about how they dont miss their mother at all and they want to “miss” her as in they want to forget her.

Sleepin’

The character is constantly speaking about how they are “sleeping with their clothes on” this is due to them falling asleep during their everyday life because of their lack of sleep every night, this person is barely functional, their sleep schedule is broken. Also since this song is about the character actually sleeping it also works as a bridge back into their dreams and so into their past.

Aammoorree

Is another vignette about the character sinking into disreputable states in order to escape their shitty situation as a teenager, this time very specifically about being completely drunk and perhaps experiencing romance for the first time. The character is probably at a club or a party, drunkenly hitting on someone, though chances are without much success as the song becomes increasingly more incoherent and we go into a full black out. This gets bad enough that the person finally has to take a look and….

Where is my mom

….stop. It is highly suggestive that in the album the “stop” is part of this song rather than the last one. The person is not only stopping their current alcoholic binge. They are stopping the entire situation and taking a good look at their life, finally confronting face to face what is happening and why it is so wrong. Now “stacy’s mom” was always kind of an inappropriate song due to it being about a child having a crush on their friend’s mom, as sung by an adult. But as it is recontextualized by the instruments of “where is my mind” it takes on a much darker tone. The romantic words are still there but now with a sinister bent. This time the main character asks their friend if they can go and take refuge at their house and when they ask if the mom is going to be there they sound more scared than eager, specially suggested by the way he seems to be stammering the word “pool”, they are nervous and terrified. They also talk about stacy’s mom as “all they want and been waiting for so long”, probably because all they want is a normal, loving mother. Presumably this song is about the main character finally talking about what is going on at his house with a friend, confessing and that confession gives way to realization

Fredhammer

Then realization gives way to anger. During this whole song we see the teenage character finally grasping how fucked up the whole situation is and he gets progressively more worked up with each successive aggravation “Why did it take so long? Why (hoo!), did I wait so long, huh?

Why??? To figure it out, but I did it (huh?)”. From this we transition to the kid actually confronting their mom face to face. The line “So you can take that cookie And stick it up your (yeah!)” can be read as the mother trying to pretend there is nothing wrong or pacifying the kid with empty gestures of motherhood, by making cookies and the kid spitting that back into their face. The kid gets more and more worked up through the song as we seamlessly transition to the next one.

Limp Wicket

This song is pure incoherent chaos but something very important can be rescued out of the chaos. This song uses the lyrics from the “ewok celebration” which is presumably the song the ewoks sing in return of the jedi after the empire was defeated. So in a way is the kid celebrating that he finally confronted their mother and presumably defeated her. This is emphazised by the recurrence of the lyrics ““So you can take that cookie”. Is not specified how the mother is defeated, maybe social services or the police get involved, maybe the kid runs away, either way this song is triumphant. The evil entity that stole his childhood and innocence has been defeated.

Cannibals

This song is slightly different from the rest. It works as a form of victory lap after the defeat of the mother figure, but also as an intermission since it lies smack dab in the middle of the album, and finally as a transitionary song from childhood to adulthood. Is a time skip, we get to see the person grow up in fast forward as the THX song hits its crescendo. This song also makes it perfectly clear that, even though she was left behind, the mental scars that the mother left are still there and still fresh and still very much stopping them from sleeping “She drives me crazy

And I can't help myself”. 

The outsiders

This works as a way to recontextualize us in the life of the character as an adult. Our so called “feature presentation”. It is not altogether clear who these people being introduced are. They could be the people who came to mean something in this persons life as they grew up after trauma, probably multiple foster homes, social workers, friends, bosses, co workers, etc. the fact that they are being enumerated dissapasionatly could indicate how most of his social relationships were basically a meaningless blur for him who grew up socially distant due to trauma. It could also represent the multiple roles that our character was forced to take as they grew up and the multiple things that went through his mind or meant something. There is clearly some desperate attempts to recapture their lost childhood as figures such as “inspector gadget” or “the ninja turtles part three” are named. The song is a fast montage of views and places. That prepares us for the next song.

Johnny

We finally zoom in and take a good look at our main character as an adult. A sad, pathetic figure, hurt and lonely, possibly not very well liked and certainly not respected as we hear boos all around. Despite all this the character is clearly committing themselves to be a good person, to not hurt others like he was hurt and specifically to not commit the same crimes that their mother commited.

Closerflies & Nightmovin

These two songs might as well work as a single piece since they are both more or less about the same thing. We reiterate how this person has been turned into an insomniac due to the trauma that they experienced as a child “When I'm far too tired to fall asleep”. They are delirious and barely coherent, possibly hallucinating as they think about their life in bed. This is clearly hell on earth and it seems like its just never going to stop “Can't wake up in a sweat

'Cause it ain't over yet” but, with neil’s classic sense of humor, the song immediately ends.

Now that could just be for the sake of irony but there is also another level in which it could be read. This suffering stops because something suddenly changes in this person’s life. What could that be?

Whitehouse

“I fell in love with a girl”

As the lyrics say, the main character met someone special and they are deeply in love. But also, because of the past that weighs heavily on him, he is very trepidatious about wether to go on with the relationship or not. He knows he is damaged goods and he doesnt want to drag her down as well, these fears make it so he never fully opens up to her about his issues “She turns and says, "Are you alright?" I said, "I must be fine because my heart's still beating." 

Wah

The use of “war” by edwin starr is a clever reference about how everything is fair in love and war. Now this song is an important departure since it is sung from the point of view of the girl our main character fell in love with. She is a feisty woman who is very clearly trying to establish the terms of the relationship and demanding her partner to open up which the main character, due to his insecurities, takes as a declaration of war and which he deflects by playing dumb, hence the repeated use of the silly “WAH” by wario. 

Pee Wee Inc

The emotional distance from the man is putting a strain in the relationship, so what once was supposed to “feel good” is now this melancholic and unbearable situation. Is no mistake that the song sampled here is “the breakfast machine” from pee wee’s big adventure. After all  a neglected partner can feel like a breakfast machine, an object that is there just to make your breakfast. On top of this you can see that the insomnia hasnt gone away “My dreams, they got a kissing 'cause I don't get to sleep, no”. In a lot of ways the girlfriend is feeling used as just a relief from the man’s suffering but not as someone who is being truly loved.

1000 spoons

We go back to the woman’s perspective. At first it just seems like a simple melancholic situation where she is sad the relationship is not working, but then we see the woman have a full mental breakdown as the song changes and becomes much more deranged and we get to see what is really happening. The man ran away on their wedding day. This is represented by the lyrics “is like rain on your wedding day” because it means the wedding has been ruined. She is heartbroken by this.

Mouth dreams (extro)

Appropriately as the previous song talked about a wedding being ruined by “rain” this song begins with the sound of rain. This is the big emotional climax of the story, the music at its most dramatic. Now i will admit, even for me this is a stretch, im willing to concede most of what i am about to say is essentially built out of whole cloth and me wanting to fit a neat full narrative into this album where there is none, but hey, what is art for?

Essentially the man is about to commit suicide, possibly by jumping off a bridge in the rain as suggested by the song being sampled “drowning”. The fact that this song is named after the album is a way to signify how everything that we have just seen weighs heavily on the man’s heart, his whole life, his memories, his trauma, and he is finally ready to end it all. He jumps.

But at the last second his wife jumps after him and drags him to the shore, the last we see is her trying to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation, as indicated by the song,”love me mouth to mouth now…” he is unconscious and presumably finally sleeping peacefully (maybe dead?) “...cover me with dreams, yeah”.

It might look like he will not survive, as implied by the sinister version of all star encroaching over the song. But as it looks like all hope is lost he finally WAKES UP.

In a way this song is also when we finally catch up with the start of the album where we saw the man desperately hollering for human contact and merely echos responding, except now someone finally answered, and he is finally ready to open up and share his story.

Brithoven

Even though this song is sung by a single person i choose to take it as a dialog between the couple, both of them sharing their regrets about their relationship with each other, her recriminating the fact that she couldnt have known what he was going through “oh baby bay, how was i supposed to know, that something wasnt right here” and him finally admitting that he needs help “My loneliness is killing me”.

Finally they both agree to try it again and give their relationship a second chance “hit me baby one more time”

Ain’t

Part of me is conflicted about this song, i kind of want to disregard it, mainly because i think its kind of a weird way to end an album and also because i just dont feel is a very good mashup really. The lyrics dont mix that well with the song, they are paced in an inconsistent way and overall feel like they never truly click. On top of that it just doesnt fit at all with the narrative that i have been building during this analysis.

There is talk about alcoholism and parent abandoment, this time by the father, a figure that was never mentioned during the album. The last line says “say it aint so” which doesnt particularly seem to reflect on any of the themes i’ve been building upon. Ultimately i think i will just leave it besides and be content that i managed to fit almost all of the album into one story, this process was never meant to be a perfect dissection of the carefully planned story that neil deliberately crafted but rather me having fun seeing pictures in a rorshach test.

So anyway that was Mouth dreams, let me know what you thought.

[brelione]

Just Wanna Be Happy (Pope HeywardxReader)

Warnings:Mentions of self harm,depression,medication,suicide.Please do not read if youre triggered by these topics.This wasnt written to glamorize mental illness this is kind of just my coping mechanism because I just got out of a depressing period.Depression effects people differently but this fanfic has ways that its effected me so yeah.

You had never been a very social person.Or a friendly person or even a happy person.You kind of just existed without purpose or reason.Its not like you didnt want to be happy because of course you did.It just wasnt something that could come naturally to you in your everyday life.It was summer and you had hardly left your house at all.Most time was spent in your room.It had been days since you had showered or brushed your hair or even changed your clothes.You hadnt done you laundry in weeks or eaten a proper meal in days.You were an absolute mess since you had stopped taking your medication.You didnt know why but you just couldnt bring yourself to take them anymore.You felt guilty for not replying to any of your friends messages.

“Hey :) do you wanna hang out with us tomorrow?”Read Tuesday 9:48 PM. “Hey have you been taking your meds?Your mom wanted me to check up on you :)”Read at 1:48 PM today.

Your mom was staying with family in California this summer to work on a book.She would transfer ten dollars to your bank account everyday.You hadnt spent any of it.She had sent you countless texts to ask how you were doing or if you had gotten your refill.Your skin was dull from not seeing the sun,the hair on your legs had grown long and prickly and you smelt like absolute shit.You heard a knock at your door,the sound echoing through your empty house.You worked up the strength to get up,dragging your feet as you walked.You felt dizzy and nauseous as you walked,couldnt even feel your feet touching the ground.Your kitchen was an absolute mess,frying pan with maple syrup stuck to it and the sink full of dirty smelling dishes.You opened the door,blocking your eyes from the sun to see Pope.

He let out a sigh of relief,pulling you into a hug. “God (Y/N)!You cant do that!Jesus,I thought you died.”He sighed,squeezing you tightly.You didnt bother hugging back,letting your head rest against him. “I was getting worried about you-its been like two weeks since you’ve talked to me.”He grumbled,pulling away from the hug and observing your face.You had a couple of pimples across your forehead from not washing your face,your skin was splotchy and your eyes puffy. “Have you been taking your meds?”He asked.You didnt answer,watching as he walked over to the cabinet to pull out the orange pill bottle.It was still half full.He looked at the date that it was supposed to be refilled.Two days ago. “You have to take these every day!”He exclaimed.You sighed,not really caring.THis wasnt what you needed to hear right now.You didnt exactly know what you needed to hear but that was definitely not it.

 “When was the last time you showered?”He asked.You shrugged,not remembering.All the days had merged together.You slept a lot even when you didnt need it.The only time you really got up was to use the bathroom or vomit into your trash bin. “And the last time you ate?”He asked.You mumbled that you werent sure,embarrassed that someone had seen you in this state.He turned on your shower,letting the room get steamy from the hot water.He went into your messy room,making his way through the piles of crumpled paper and dirty clothing to your dresser.He grabbed you a new pair of underwear,a sportsbra,a loose t shirt and some comfy looking shorts.He assisted you in getting your hair out of the bun it was in,letting the snagglt knots loose. “I’m going to make you some food,okay?”You nodded.He closed the bathroom door.

You pulled off your dirty clothes,nearly gagging at the smell of yourself.You stepped into the shower,letting the burning hot water touch your back and head.You poured a fistfull of conditioner in your hair to try and help with the knots.You sat down,closing your eyes and letting the conditioner rinse out.You poured at least a fourth of the bottle of shampoo into your hair,scrubbing your scalp aggressively.You used the suds from the shampoo to wash under your arms and your back.You used the same suds in replacement of shaving cream to shave your legs only up to your knee.The water was going cold but you didnt care,laying down and letting the water smack your stomach.Pope knocked at the door before opening it. “(Y/N)?You okay?”He asked.You sat up,eyes still shut as you turned off the water. “I made you some frozen waffles.”He informed you before closing the door again.

You waited until all of the water went down the drain until you stood up,slowly stepping onto the bath mat.At least you didnt smell so disgusting now.What really worried you was brushing your hair out mostly because you knew it would hurt and half your hair would most likely fall out.You grabbed a towel,rubbing down your body.You had some faded scars on your thighs and calves but none on your wrist.Mainly because you knew no one would check your legs.It had been five months since you harmed yourself and you were proud.You probably would’ve relapsed eventually if you were even able to work up the energy to do it.You groaned as you saw the pimples on your face,grabbing your face wash that you hadnt used in so long.You scrubbed your face,rinsing the soap off and patting your skin dry.

You looked back up at the mirror.You could barely recognize yourself.You looked like a deformed radiation exposed raccoon.You saw the clothes Pope had picked for you,pulling them on over your damp skin.You slowly brushed your teeth,blood leaking from your gums as you did so.You dragged yourself out of the bathroom,the cold air of the kitchen hitting you.Pope wa sitting at your kitchen table.A plate of eggos sat on a paper plate,a cup of water sitting in front of it. “I’ll go grocery shopping for you later.”He offered as you sat down.You shook your head. “No...its fine.”You answered as you stared down at the plate. “You dont have anything to eat here.Let me go grocery shopping and cook for you.”He spoke softly,taking a pill from your prescription bottle and holding it in his palm.

 “Can you please eat so you can take this?”He asked.You took a bite of the eggo,wanting nothing more than to spit it out into the garbage.You chewed it to mush and swallowed,looking back at him. “Good.”He handed you the pill. “I dont want to take this.”You told him.He sighed,nodding. “I know,I know you dont but it’ll make you feel better.”He told you.You dipped your head back,dropping the pill in your mouth and sipping the water. “All I want is to be happy….why is that so much to ask for?”You grumbled,looking down at your cup.He reached out for your hand,rubbing his thumb along your palm. “You’ll be happy one day.If you take your medicine and make your environment better you’ll feel better.”He had probably read that bullshit in some book.You rolled your eyes. “What does that even mean?”You asked.You placed his hand over yours,tapping his nails against your fingertips. “Just let me take care of you until your mom gets back,alright?”He asked.You hummed,too tired to argue.

He grabbed your hairbrush and a bottle of detangler from your bathroom and got to work on your hair.It didnt hurt too bad and he was careful with your hair almost like it was precious gold. “Do you wanna watch a movie?”He asked.You shrugged but followed him to your living room.It was the one room besides your mothers that you hadnt completely fucked up.He went on Disney Plus and allowed you to flick through the titles until you found something you liked.You chose Inside Out.He grinned at you,kissing your forehead before disappearing into your room.He picked up the clothes off your floor and assumed they were dirty,tossing them into your washing machine.

He stuffed your trash bin full of all the paper and random trash on your floor.He grabbed the stacks of plates,forks and molding mugs from you floor and on top of your dresser.He did a load of dishes,switching your clothes from your washer to your dryer.You had fallen asleep on the couch with the movie still on.He made your bed for you,killing a few bugs that had been hiding under all of the trash.He called his dad. “Pope?You okay?” “mhm..yeah.Um...im gonna be away from home for a while.” “What-no the hell you’re not.” “Dad-” “No-what am I gonna do with all these grocery deliveries?” “Dad-Its (Y/N).” Silence. “Is she….uhh..” “No-no.She’s been off her meds and i think someones gotta be here to take care of her while her moms out of town.” “Alright...just be careful with her.”The call ended.Pope sighed as he looked at your room.It was much much cleaner now that he was done with it.

He sat down on the couch next to your sleeping figure,paying attention to the movie in front of him.You sat up tiredly,wrapping your arms around his torso and moving him so you could rest your head on his tummy. “I think thats whats happening to me.”You spoke,gesturing to the TV.Joy and Sadness had just left the headquarters which left only fear,anger and disgust.He nodded,understanding what you were trying to tell him. “Maybe.”He replied.You sighed,tracing circles onto his skin through his shirt. “I wanna learn how to be happy...it might take a while but I just wanna be happy,you know?”You asked.He hummed,moving his arms so he was holding you. “I’ll help anyway I can.”He promised,stroking your hair lightly.

[happys-crazy-queen22]

Title: Straightforward

Gif credit @steddy1987

I hope you all enjoy.

Happy reading dollies.

Taglist: @nocturnalherb16 @jesseswartzwelder

So, dad listen. Antonio and I have been seeing each other for over  three months now and well we're getting serious. I want you to know that I love him. I've known him my whole life and we just connected after he divorced. I thought you should know because I dont want to start anything between your friendship or your unit".

"Now listen dear". Antonio mocked Hanks voice, not taking this seriously.

"Stop. He would not say that. He'd get mad and throw something. He'll bring up the age difference and how your job is dangerous".

"Then why are we practicing if you already know how he's going to react? I still think it's to early for us to tell him".

"You? You of all people want to keep this a secret. Straightforward Dawson wants to keep our relationship a secret. Shocker". You giggle when he playfully slapped your butt.

"Since I'm so straightforward, get your butt in the bedroom and strip".

"Now? We're cooking dinner". Antonio cut the burners off and removed the food from the heat. He pointed to the bedroom.

"Okay, Mr. Bossy". You giggled running away as Antonio raised his eyebrow.

You threw Antonio's t-shirt off that you were wearing and slid your panties off. As you heard his feet coming down the hallway, you got on the bed on all fours. Your ass in the air for his view as he walked in.

"Damn, baby girl". He hummed as he came in coming to the bed. Antonio ran his finger through your lips, his fingers coated in your juices. He smirked at how wet you were from the anticipation.

Biting your lip as he grazed your clit with his knuckle. Moaning as he circled your clit. "Fuck, daddy".

"Really"? Antonio chuckled. "Fuck, you just got even wetter". He pulled back his hand seeing a string of juice linking.

"Please, fuck me". You moaned wiggling your butt.

Antonio didn't hesitate, he quickly stripped and grabbed a condom from the dresser. You felt the bed sink as he came up from behind you.

You could hear the tin foil being torn. "Leave it off". You told him as you grinded up against him, feeling his hard on against your butt cheeks.

"Are you serious"? Antonio asked with a confused chuckle. This was the first time you ever let him go without a condom and he was a little nervous.

"Yes". You snaked your hand between your legs and grabbed his cock, gliding through your lips, and slowly pushing him in. You sank down on his cock until he was completely in you.

Oh god the feeling was so mind blowing, it was so much better than with a condom. 

"Holy shit, you feel so tight. I never felt this good before". Antonio gripped your hips and start thrusting.

"Just dont cum in me. I'm not on birth control but I needed this today". You moaned as Antonio picked up his pace.

His hips were slapping your ass hard. It created a wave of your skin.

"Harder, daddy, harder". You cried out when Antonio hit your g-spot with the tip of his cock. Antonio reached around and circled your clit bringing you closer to your orgasm.

"Cum for daddy". He growled as he felt you clench around him. A wet sound came from you as he pounded into you. You soaking wet, your juices ran down your leg and Antonio's cock. The bed sheet was a mess. Antonio didn't stop as your body trembled from the orgasm that left you breathless. Your hands held onto the bed sheet for dear life.

"I'm close". Antonio warned, giving you a heads up. His thrust became long and deep. You both were caught up in the heat of passion, ecstasy and lust. No one heard the door being opened or the bedroom door handle being turned.

"Y/N"? Hank Voight opened the door to find his daughter in a compromising position with one of his friends and team members.

"Oh fuck". Antonio saw Hank standing there and came inside you. He forgot to pull out.

"Dad". You exclaimed covering yourself with the sheet. Antonio panicked and ran to the bathroom.

"Get dressed and get in here". Hank gritted his teeth shaking his head as he closed the door. You were surprised that he didn't rip Antonio's head off.

Antonio came out of the bathroom and grabbed his clothes. You rushed to the bathroom and rinsed off.

"You came in me".

"I know. I'm sorry. He just surprised me that's all and I came".

"Its fine". You sighed with a smile and got dressed.

Both of you walked out of the bedroom looking as if you're about to be killed. Hank was standing in the kitchen with a beer.

"Dad"? You say shyly.

"How long"?

"A few months".

"I see you everyday and not one word about you two together". He yelled at Antonio.

"We were going to tell you but we just didn't know how and we definitely did not want it to be that way. I'm sorry  dad".

"I'm sorry Hank, we should have told you but we figured you'll find away to make us breakup".

"Why would you think that? Do I scare you that much that you can't come to me with anything"? He asked you.

"You kind of do. Look at my last boyfriend or the guy I wanted to date. You kidnapped him and interrogated him for no reason. He was harmless".

"You were sixteen. What did you want me to do, have a tea party with him"?

"I wanted you to let me date who I want. I want freedom from being a cop's daughter. I want my own life".

"So that's with Antonio".

"Maybe. Right now, we're having fun and getting to know each other. I'm falling in love with him".

"Do you feel the same"? Hank asked Antonio, who seemed to scared to speak.  Usually he'll stand up for himself in the unit but he's never been caught having sex with the Sergeants daughter before either.

"Yes, I do. Shes funny and caring. I love being around her. She's helped me through a lot. I love her. I want your permission to date her. I should've got it before and none of this would have happened".

"You're right. I wouldn't have to seen a side of either of you that a father or boss should have known about but I did".

"So does that mean we have to break up"?

"No". You smiled wide looking at Antonio who was grinning.

"Thanks dad".

"Thank you, Hank. I promise I'll do my best at keeping her happy".

"I know you will or you'll have me at your front door with a shot gun". Hank threatened.

"Dad, chill. He's going to make me happy. He already does".

"Yeah, I saw". Hank walked to the front door. "I'll see you both for Sunday dinner".

"We'll be there". You waved goodbye  and a sigh a sigh of relief as the door closed.

"That went better than I expected". Antonio said leaning on the counter and eating the cold food.

"That could have went alot better. You know, him not seeing us having sex would have been the best". You replied, bringing his hand to your mouth taking the bite of food away from him.

"True. At least we can go out and don't have to worry if someone is going to rat us out".

"Yeah, that's a plus". You smile and wrapped your arms around Antonio squeezing him tight.

"Now to tell my kids".

"Let's not do it this way".

"Definitely not doing that". Antonio kissed your head and wrapped you with his arms.  This too should be fun.

[modern-oedipus]

Covid Vent

No one: Nila, who goes out maybe once in a month due to covid: *listens to coffee shop sounds in youtube to get in mood*  It’s really hard to maintain social isolation now that it has been 5 months. But the cases are going up and up and up, hitting my friends and their families. I myself had to split houses with my mother because she had covid cases in her work place. I don’t think I’d isolate myself this much if I wasn’t in the risk group, but I am. Knowing that I am most likely to go to intensive care and experience the trouble breathing again like I did during the asthma treatment is not good. The potential permanent damage on lungs, for someone like me whose lungs are already more prone to sickness compared to healthy people, is also a big no, considering that I’m only in my early twenties and if everything goes well and I live a normal life I’d live around 50 more years.  50 more years with a disability or isolating myself at home? Isolation, obviously. But this pandemic doesn’t seem to be stopping anytime soon. I am only indoors because both my internships are online & college hasn’t started yet. I know that I’ll eventually have to go out if my college doesn’t switch to online education. It doesn’t scare me at all, though, I am not like, “anxious”. I’m concerned, disturbed, alert, but not in a paranoid anxiety. If I end up catching covid, I’m at least mentally prepared to deal with it. I’m also eating healthy and exercising and don’t really have health problems except for that past-lung-treatments that more or less put me to a risk group (risky enough to concern me, even though I don’t have a chronic illness), so who knows, I might just pass it like a flu as well. No one knows. It’s not good overthinking covid, all I can do is to keep social distancing & mask & hygiene, as always. I’m just so suffocated. I’m more prone to be an extrovert. Before pandemic, I’d only use my house to sleep I’d keep being out in public, attending events, ORGANIZING events, going to coffee shops, club meetings, lots and lots of stage plays, tours, everything. I’d sneak into my friends’ dorms and change cities and just so many more “normal” fun things. I was barely starting to enjoy my life again after the depression healed. Now, I’m mentally ok, but physically trapped. The “watch netflix, read books, stay home” thing is kind of overdosing me right now. I like this shit for a week maybe, not for 5 months. I don’t know how to not risk my mental health while keeping my physical health anymore. Of course, to even HAVE a mental health I need to stay alive, so I’m not complaining- health care workers, people who go to job everyday (including my parents), etc. are in such a harder situation. I know. But my own life is also valid, and while not as troubling and concerning as lives of others right now, well, I think I’m still worth caring, at least by myself. I don’t expect any extra outside compassion or validation (we all are in same situation), me writing my thoughts here is more of me just trying to see my thoughts being worded on screen so that maybe I can come up with a solution to these things as I go. Because I’ve always been a problem-solver rather than just merely venting. (I can’t always solve problems though, I need to work on accepting this fact.) Anyway, I just thought, maybe spending more time outdoors in the natural park that is close to my house could be a good thing. But it’s crowded since it’s outdoors and I really don’t want to share any commonly used areas right now. (I used to be more than okay with this before covid, as I said, I’m mostly extroverted and I like community gatherings, but I like being healthy more), so like... Idk, maybe I can just sort of have phone calls and videochats with my friends as I sit outdoors. Except I don’t even know I have that many friends anymore. I mean, I do- I surely do have bestest of friends in my life that I’m grateful for, but like. I am somehow an introvert magnet and while I’d die for most of my best friends (both irl and online) I don’t really think they are as hype about just chatting as often as I am. (I know that this doesn’t mean they love me any less. They love me in their own way & I love them in their own way so that’s OK.) So like. Maybe Nila, have this BRILLIANT idea of making more friends. Except. Like. You’re at home so you aren’t in much of social gatherings [you aren’t in any! That is insane!] and you don’t really know how to make friends from home. I mean, yes there are online friends but like. EVEN WITH THEM. How can I just *trust* them right away? I can’t, so like. I don’t know. I’m bored af.  On the bright side, today one of my bff from school called me and said he’s back in town and that we should catch up, he’s literally one of the greatest company ever and he wants to see the doggo, so I’m positive we can just have hour 9242309204 hours long in-depth chats again without getting bored (amazing to have people like that in my life). Anyway. I guess the moral of this is:

- I need to accept “the new normal”

- I need to protect myself but try to keep my mental health as good as possible because I like myself more when my mental health is fine and I can also come up with better creations then

- I need to finish my course work (internship) so that I can relax before school starts

- I need to spend more time outdoors but in isolated areas (good luck finding them!) 

- I need to recharge

- I “want to” make more friends or just check up on existing ones! I can’t use the word “need” for this because this would degrade the freedom of the other party. Friends are appreciated, and to some extend, a necessity for social creatures like us, but no “need” will make it happen. I will just make an effort to check up on my existing friends more frequently-- I’m quite selective at this, though, I prefer generally upbringing people who are mature to a certain extend (aka, no obsession, no passive-aggression. yes to personal boundaries, yes to an overall nice attitude [we all can have problems and that’s ok and that’s normal. what /I/ personally don’t wish to be around [with my all respect] is this mindset of “life is a disaster let’s be depressed” thing. I just love love my current friend circle because even if my close friends are just around 7 people, and even if we get depressed or sad or scared, our general look to life is nicer, we don’t make disasters out of regular days, we enjoy talking and chatting, which overall increases our life quality and makes it better. We also communicate & respect & listen to each other and all. I mean. It’s not like that with everyone, and that’s ok, but as I said, this is my personal preference. I prefer having bonds that are good rather than toxic and I am doing my best to be equally good, rather than being toxic to my friends. [I’m sorry I post a lot of Banana Fish to those who don’t know Banana Fish, ok. I know ur bored but like I just cannot help it. I’m trying to tone it down but BANANA FISH.] sOOOOOOOO, SOOOO that’s why it’s not how “i have 29420343204 friends uwu” mindset, like, I noticed I need to be reasonably picky with those I’m close to so that I and people I love can overall have a nice, fun days, which is point of friendship. (I mean. As I said. I’m here on bad days too. But I don’t feel mentally healthy enough to carry the burden of someone else’s depression. It hasn’t even been two months since I’m out of therapy yet, and my mental health is, while not bad, it is fragile. I’d rather not be around those who can [mostly, unwillingly] effect me badly. SO LIKE.  - that’s one hell of a long post nila, but long story short FRIENDS or you’ll die out of boredom

- also just finish your coursework i beg you

- thanks for coming to my ted talk, I actually always offer potential solutions on my vent posts, but this time i wanted to write this publicly [i dont think anyone will read this and i dont mind it] because like. why not? it’s just me thinking and I feel as if this could be of use for some people who are reading this & isolating themselves too. anyway, i love u, stay safe. 

[hopes4gf]

Wings of Fire ( A MHA Fanfic): The Surge

Villains enter the scene and we all gear up for battle.

They all surround us and we engage in fight mode.

”Wanna test out Midoriya’s theory?” I ask Shoto.

”Now or never, sis,” Shoto agrees.

Me and him stand back to back and we use both sides of our power to blast the villains back. I use my blue flame to surround and circle the villains meanwhile Shoto uses his ice to bind them.

“Nice flames, Aki, you're practically doing my job for me,” Shoto says, building ice walls.

”Watch out for those big guys, Sho!” I shout catching his attention.

”You scared to lose to kids? Your adults, put up a fight, damn it!” Shoto says to the villains.

Before they can attack Shoto, I trap them in an ability with my fire called Hell Ring, where the flames form a ring around my opponent and slowly close in on them.

Bakugo is on the other side of the room with a villain pinned to the floor by his grip.

”You move and I’ll blast you ass so bad, that they’ll be piecing you together for weeks,” Bakugo exclaims.

”Well, that’s not very heroic,” Kirishima says.

”All clear!” Shoto signals to them.

”Clear!” Kirishima says.

All Might finally shows up and recites his famous phrase and reminds us to go Plus Ultra.

The police show up and secure some of the villains.

We all go home for the day.

Before I can leave, a hand grips my wrist.

”Call me, loser,” Bakugo says, handing me slip of paper before returning to his group.

I stand there in shock and look at the paper.

”Kirishima convinced me to give you my number. Don’t keep me waiting,” The note reads, with his phone number underneath.

I smile to myself and put his number into my phone as I walk beside Shoto.

”You seem happy, what’s going on?” Shoto asks.

”Bakugo gave me his number,” I say.

”What?” Shoto says, stopping in his tracks.

”And he wants me to call him tonight,” I say with a smirk.

”Dad’s gonna kill you for this,” Shoto reminds.

”Dont think you’d not go down with me. I know about your little girlfriend too,” I say.

Shoto’s eyes widen in realization.

”S-she’s not my girlfriend...yet at least,” Shoto says nervously.

”Oh is she?” I ask sarcastically.

”Not a word,” Shoto says with a huff.

I laugh at my brother’s demeanor.

We make it home and find Dad sitting on the couch waiting for us.

This ought to be good...

”Shoto, Ayamaki, sit please,” Dad orders.

We drop our things and we sit in front of him.

”When I went to UA, there was an event where only the best students would battle against each other in a series of competitions demonstrating their quirks, I want you both to do it,” Dad says in a stern tone.

”You mean the sport’s festival?” Shoto asks.

”Correct. There, you will demonstrate your quirks in the best fashion. This will be your first public debut since the entrance exam. I’m constantly reminded everyday that you two represent what I do for that school. And I know the both of you will excel. These are the foundations of becoming the next number one and two heroes. And the next chapter of our legacy. Don’t mess this up,” Dad recalls.

We both nod in agreement and return to our routines.

As I greet Fuyumi, I turn behind me and see Dad sitting there, thinking and deliberating. It almost reminds me of what I try to do at lunch without Katsuki in my way.

Suddenly, a memory comes to mind.

One day, Dad decided to give me a lesson. A lesson on thinking before I act rather than using pure instinct.

”Analyze what’s ahead of you. Think about it’s shape, the way it moves, and if you look away for a single second. You’ll lose you target,” He used to say.

We went through endless trials that constantly winded me. My brother stood by the door the whole time, covering for my usual place. He would try and peek inside to see what he would do to me.

He would scream orders at me and grip my skin underneath his fiery grasp. Eventually, that day he finally cracked in front of me. Showed me his true colors.

He threw a knife at me. I missed.

He sliced my arm wide open and I had never seen so much blood in my life. He stared at me with those cold blue eyes of his. My enemy was ahead of me. His eyes had only one solid color in them. But I knew deep down, he painfully regretted his choice to train me. Because he told me.

Told me I wasn’t worthy of his advice. Told me I wasn’t as worthy as my brother. Told me I’d never make it.

And as he sits there, deliberating as he taught me once to. My scar starts to ache, remembering when he first drew that knife to my skin.

If I’m going to win. I’m not winning for him.

Suddenly, my mind switches the memory of my mother when I visited her in the hospital that one night. She told me to prove my father wrong.

And that’s exactly what I’m going to do at the sports festival next week.

————————————————

The next day,

We all attempt to walk out of our classroom for lunch but are crowded by the other students in the hero courses who are interested in the festival.

”They’re scouting out the competition, idiots,” Bakugo says, slyly grabbing his things and pushing past our other classmates.

”Just like you would,” I comment.

He turns to me with a smirk on his face and winks.

“We’re the ones that defeated those villains. At least you know what a future pro looks like,” Bakugo says, scouting the crowd.

“Now, move it, extras,” Bakugo says sternly to the students.

”You walk around calling them extras just because you don’t know them!” Iida scolds.

Bakugo scoffs and pushes through the crowd.

“Bakugo, what’re you doing?” Kirishima asks.

”These people don’t matter, what’s important is that I beat them. Just ask Aki,” Bakugo says, then continuing through the crowd.

Later, we all head to the stadium to prepare for the events of the afternoon.

"Is there something going on between you and Bakugo?" Kirishima asks me.

"We've spoken a couple of times. I'm pretty sure you can already tell but he's competitive for a reason. He puts up a front because he's terrified as hell of losing. He'll never admit it personally but he uses it as a coping mechanism. He wants power so he does feel hopeless. If you're asking for my opinion, he does it because he knows what if feels like not to have power,"  I admit.

"I've definitely picked up on that, I don't think it's very manly to hide your fear. It should drive you to be better," Kirishima says, giving me his thoughts.

"Listen, you're one of his best friends, I can see that, if you wanna make him loosen up, be real with him. And help him actually say what's on his damn mind," I advise.

"Well that's one way to put it," Kirishima comments, recognizing my slight harshness.

"That's the only way to understand it when it comes to him," I say.

Soon, I join Shoto's side and we both look at the TV monitors, we both spot Dad sitting by All Might.

"Both of them are watching," He comments.

"What do you think will happen if we mess this up?" I ask.

"As long as one of us succeeds, I think we'll be fine," Shoto says.

"Obviously, it's you who'll succeed," I say sternly.

"You're probably right. Dad's really been pushing me lately," He says in a monotone.

My eyes soften. I realize that Shoto doesn't have a single ounce of emotion in his voice. Instead of acknowledging me, he's hyper-focused on what he'll do.

I close my eyes and walk away from him, he calls after me, but I ignore him.

He's gonna leave me. I sure as hell know it.

We all head to the entrance of the Festival, where Class 1A prepares to go out. Shoto gives me a concerned look and I glare at him. We all head out confidently, and we look around as we see several heroes and adoring fans in the crowd.

I spot Dad and All Might looking down at us, but Dad doesn't look me in eye, he stares beside me at Shoto. I scowl at move forward by Momo.

"What's got you all fired up?" She asks.

"My old man's in the crowd," I tell her sternly.

"Damn, I didn't know this was so important," Momo says.

"He wants us to join his hero agency. They do these festivals to scout for interns and sidekicks. My father has 38 sidekicks, he wants me and Sho as his 39th and 40th ones. Me and him decline every damn time, but it seems like he's getting even more desperate with time. Especially, with Shoto. Every one knows that he could care less about me," I say in a serious tone.

"What? But you're his daughter," Momo questions.

"But Shoto is his masterpiece," I say honestly.

"And you're not okay with that," Momo realizes.

At this point I'm at the verge of crying in front of all my classmates. I wish I could tell them all about how I feel, but with my dad staring down at me, I can't risk it.

I choke back own tears and settle my focus ahead, where Midnight stands at a podium.

"Welcome to the annual UA Sports Festival!" Midnight announces.

My mind starts to wander, thinking about the pressure placed upon us. My dad looking to me and Shoto as his future legacy, Shoto kicking me aside, my classmates questioning my relationship with Bakugo, Bakugo getting curious about my family, my friends and their praise of my quirk, all this pressure is boiling over. This is the breaking point.

Midnight asks if any classmate would like to share any words, before any of us can go up, Bakugo walks forward.

He taps the mic to check it.

"U-um, all I'm gonna say is...I'm gonna win," Bakugo says calmly.

"I knew he was gonna say something stupid like that!" All of Class 1A says including me.

The crowd boos at him and I see from the corner of my eye that Dad narrows his eyes.

Soon, the first challenge is presented and we all start to team up in groups.

"Icy-Hot, get your ass over here," Bakugo calls.

"Aki, I need one last member on my team," Shoto calls.

I narrow my eyes at Shoto.

"If I'm going to be anything to you, it's certainly not last," I spit at him, huffing and walking towards Bakugo.

"Family drama, eh?" Bakugo asks with a smirk.

"I've been ready to beat that son of bitch since the entrance exam," I say, cracking knuckles.

"That's the spirit!" Bakugo agrees confidently.

Kirishima, Mina, Sero and I hoist up Bakugoso he can capture our teams headband points. Kirishima stands at the front using his hardness quirk to protect and me and Mina stand on his sides, using our quirks to defend and Sero stand at the back to defend the rear.

The battle begins and I use my ice quirk to shoot icicle daggers at the headband, they come back to us like boomerangs and Bakugo captures them.

"Nice shot, hot stuff!" Bakugo compliments.

"I'll keep 'em coming!" I say in return.

Bakugo smirks and leaps towards Midoriya whose in the air.

"God damn it, Katsuki!" I yell.

Present Mic catches on, announcing his departure to the crowd.

Sero uses his tape to bring him back but his headband is stolen.

"Kirishima...change of plans...lets kill all these guys!" Bakugo says in a low growl.

Before we know, Kaminari uses his electricity to create smoke, through the smoke I see Shoto freeze the ground completely, I use my Hell Ring to protect the group, fighting back.

"Let's go!" Bakugo says.

"Seriously, we're counting on you!" Kirishima says.

"Die!" Bakugo exclaims, charging up his explosions.

A blonde bowl haired guy copies Kirishima's hardening to dodge Bakugo's explosions.

From the corner of my eye, I see Iida blazing past Midoriya, capturing his headbands, leaving him with zero points.

Bakugo leaps towards the blonde kid again and grabs his headbands, leaping us to third place.

"Bakugo! Don't act on your own!" Kirishima advises.

"We have to get third place, you idiots," Bakugo says, hitting Kirishima's head various times.

"Hit it, Icy-Hot!" Bakugo orders.

I create an ice platform pushing us forward and he accelerates it by using his explosions.

He grabs the blonde kid's last headband and we leap to second place.

I watch from the side as Todoroki dodges Midoriya's attack...

He used his fire quirk. For the first time since middle school. I bet that made Dad smile.

Bakugo leaps off once again towards my brother, trying to capture his headbands but...

"Times up!" Present Mic screams.

The crowd erupts, reacting to the challenge.

"Are you okay?" Me and Kirishima ask.

Bakugo only hits the ground beneath him as he's planted face first.

My brother leads first place succeeding me.

I help Bakugo off the floor and slap him.

"That's what you get for acting alone, you dumbass!" I yell.

"It's not my damn fault the time ran out!" Bakugo yells back at me.

"Guys, it's over now, you might wanna-" Kirishima starts.

"No! It's not over until we get first!" Me and Bakugo both yell at the same time.

We look at each other dumbfoundedly, both realizing we said the same thing at once.

We both look away and blush. Mina grabs my arm and we all walk to the inside of the arena.

As I stand in the waiting room, I think about Shoto and Dad's influence on him.

Is Dad the reason he's been distant? Why do they doubt me? I see Shoto and Midoriya slip away from the room and I follow them.

When I reach their destination, I realize I'm not alone.

"What're you doing here?!" Me and Bakugo both whisper yell.

"I'm going to see my brother, frankly, what are you doing?" I ask.

"I'm going to see Deku, now shut up so I can hear," Bakugo says.

He towers above me as we both eavesdrop.

"Are you All Might's secret love child or something?" Shoto asks.

I snicker softly at my brother's question and Bakugo kicks my ankles to shut me up.

"Endeavor's my old man. If you are, that makes you more of my enemy. Since he couldn't surpass All Might, he moved on to his next plan. I'm sure you know what Quirk Marriage is," Shoto starts.

My eyes widen. I feel the air grow thick in my lungs and my eyes water. Why is he saying this? Why is Bakugo listening?

"Forcing people into marriage. He won over my mother's relatives and got ahold of my mother's quirk. I will beat you using only my right side. My mother's quirk," Shoto says, starting to walk away.

"I'll beat you too," Midoriya says, emotion building in his voice.

I look at Bakugo and see his eyes soften.

Mom told him. Mom finally told him the truth.

What I wanted to say to Bakugo finally came out. Before Bakugo can turn to face me, I bolt. Tears stream down my eyes as I run. Running as fast as I can past all the doors and hallways. I find an empty room and light a chair on fire. I scream and sob, breaking everything in sight.

"Fucking asshole! You damn idiot!" I scream.

I drop to my knees and sob. The once locked door is kicked open. I don't look up until i feel arms wrapped around me.

"Shh, it's fine," Bakugo says softly in my ear, cooing me.

I cry deeply into his chest as memories rush through my head. The memory of hearing mom's screams, seeing Shoto's scars. Touya leaving. Natsu's depression. Dad training me. Every moment of agony and heart break rushing through me. Each one more painful than the last.

"Get away from me!" I say, trying to get Bakugo off of me.

"Aki," Bakugo says.

I look up and see Bakugo's crimson eyes staring back at me. His eyes are sincere for the first name. The sound of my name coming from his mouth rings in my ear.

He said my name.

No nicknames, no jokes, just...my name.

"That's what you wanted to tell me. That one day in the classroom. That your father was a damn scumbag for doing what he did to your mother," Bakugo says.

"I didn't want to say anything because I knew you'd lash out at me, saying that your nothing compared to what he did," I say, choking through tears.

"Why would I lash out at you for that? The only reason I stuck with your ass is because I knew you were lonely. And I guess I just saw how shitty your brother treats you. If anything he's like that scumbag for treating you like you're invisible," Bakugo admits.

This guy is spilling out my emotions like he's reading my mind. Someone who I thought to be rash and destructive is...caring and calm.

"I usually don't do this sort of thing but, I guess you're someone I actually gave a damn about," Bakugo says.

I sniffle and he wipes my tears away from my cheeks.

"You good now? Bakugo asks.

"I'll be fine. I just need to take my mind off a few things," I say, getting up.

Bakugo blushes as he hesitates on his words.

"If you need anything, just ask me," He mutters.

I smile as I continue to wipe stray tears. I kiss his cheek catching him off guard.

"Thanks for that, by the way," I say, leaving him alone in the room as I walk down the halls.

I stop suddenly as something catches my eye. I feel my breathing slow down as I see my father standing there, speaking with All Might. Suddenly, his gaze meets mine.

I continue down the halls, rejoining my classmates, disregarding the view of my father.

I rejoin my group and notice that Shoto isn't back yet. He's probably searching for my father.

"Oi! Todoroki,  you good?" Mina ask from across the room.

"Yeah, I'm okay now. Just trying to cool down," I say to Mina as I stride over to the group of girls.

"The boys tipped us off during lunch that there's a cheer competition," Jiro says.

I smirk as the idea peeks my interest.

"Bet. I'll join the group. But I have a couple requests if we wanna win," I say.

Later, we head out to the arena for our performance and the crowd swoons. Momo stands at my side as we get into formation. I look to the stands and see my Dad return with All Might, his eyes widen as he spots me shaking my pompoms.

I then look at the boys who are now waiting in the stands. I watch as our group's jaws drop, me and Mina wave at them and they all blush. Especially Katsuki.

Our music hits and we start strong. The crowd goes insane at our professional demeanor. Dad watches confused by my sudden interest in dance. The thing is, I secretly joined dance team in middle school to get away from my toxic household. That was my only coping mechanism up until now. Me and Mina decided to throw together some choreography mixed with improv to wow the crowd since Mina also has the same passion.

My gaze then focuses of Katsuki as I move with the music. Katsuki stares at me like I have two heads as I roll my body, not caring who sees.

The fact that I was just throwing things and crying baffles me. I think that's why he's so shocked at my performance. Soon, it ends and the crowd loves it! We go back into the arena and the others girls praise us for our work.

"That choreo was amazing girls!" Midnight says, complimenting us.

We change back to our PE uniforms and split into our semi-final groups.

"Did you see the look on Denki's face?" Mina asks as we walk through the halls.

"I was actually shocked by Katsuki," I mention. We both stop and hide as we see my father talking to my brother in the hallway.

"Is that your dad?" Mina asks.

"Yeah," I say nervously.

"Should I leave you here?" Mina asks nervously.

"Maybe," I say, trying to listen.

"You're acting disgracefully, Shoto. Maybe even worse than your sister," Dad says sternly as usual.

My eyes narrow. HE is being worse than ME? This old man got his twins twisted.

Shoto walks past him and heads towards my direction.

"Aki, let's go," he says before turning the corner.

I shrivel up and scurry behind him.

I look over my shoulder and see Dad him standing at the end of the hall with that familiar glare on his face.

These rounds better be interesting because Dad might just bust our chops if one of us doesn't win.