#but in my dick it says cocoa bean

[ibunyang]

black tullip nomnom its nice to see that norton isnt the only one being hit with the whorification beam now that ganji is also here but i sometimes wish he took more of his clothes off.

[forthehpfanboys]

Navigation

Fics- Closed  Drabbles- Closed  Headcanons- Closed

Key: Work In Progress  *Headcanon  (MDI) Minors Don’t Interact

Prompts can be mixed up, but limited to 2 per request. Ya’ll should know how prompts work, but just in case: just say which numbers you want from which lists and what character and reader specifics.

Please DO NOT repost my stories anywhere else without my permission.

Calling It Even: You just moved 'across the pond' from Ilvermorny to Hogwarts, but before you actually moved you'd made a friend! Well, two and you just so happen to bump into them at the Leaky Cauldron!

Quidditch and T: Harry surprises Ron with tickets to the Quidditch World Cup after the war, after Hermione and after finding out Ron has a crush on the first professional trans masculine the Chudley Canons or the World Cup has ever seen.

I’m Sorry (Angst): You hate Ron, Ron hates you. Pretty simple. It only becomes complicated when the bloke says something about your cologne in Potions class.

Hush-Hush: After pestering turns arguing with Ron about keeping your romantic relationship a secret, your big secret comes tumbling out in the library, in the middle of the night, with a few witnesses.

Gold Strings and Red Picks- Part 1, Part 2 (Smutty), Part 3 (Smut): The Weasley's invented a band! Having a band, means you need a band manager; someone to help find venues, gigs and sponsors. After finding one, Ron seems to be hopeless drawn toward them.

Count Your Losses (Smut)

Neither (Smut/Drabble): You and Ron have history together.

❄️Cold Hands (Drabble)

A Shared Bed (Smut/Drabble): You and Ron have always shared beds, it was normal.

*Reader Comes Out as Trans to the Weasleys

*Ron’s First Boyfriend

*Ron’s First Date

*Reader and Ron’s First Time (Smut)

Home Alone (Smut): Harry plans on giving you something important to him when your home alone leading to you two get carried away and end up in your bedroom.

Bloody Knuckles and Sunshine (Angsty): Harry loved his ball of sunshine and will do anything, including throwing hands at a dude a head taller than him, to protect it from harm.

Into His Hands (Smut)

Try to Understand

Different (Smut/Drabble): You expected a lot, but not everything.

Soft (Smut/Drabble): Harry manages to get you alone and learns your as soft as you look.

Admirable (Fluff/Smut/Drabble): Harry convinces you that you’re worth it.

❄️Fireplace Snuggles (Drabble)

Some Random Smutty Thingy

*Harry and Black-Lupins Trans Son

*Harry’s First Boyfriend

Tough Hufflepuff (Angsty): Reader is a shy bean who is willing to teach the DA for Harry and everyone and ends up falling for a specific witch in doing so. He ends up winning her after a fight with a specific bleached ferret.

Not Going Anywhere (Angst): You’ve kept a pretty big secret from your bird for a while, but what happens when you end up revealing it on one fate filled night where she sees it first hand?

History: Hermione swore she would hate Slytherins since Draco Malfoys blonde self rolled into town, but your relentless flirting and charming smile causes her to feel stuff.

White Out (Angst)

After Party Bliss (Smut)

More Than Reading Books (Smut)

Better Than A Protection Spell

Cuts Deeper than Bone

Broken Stitches (Smut, Drabble): Hermione usually gripes about your dirty clothes being everywhere.

❄️Story Time (Drabble)

Broken Stitches (Smut/Drabble)

Line Without a Hook

❄️Snowman Building (Drabble)

*Reader Comes Out as Trans to the Weasleys

Intact (Angst): Life goes to hell when your mother, who happens to be Bellatrix LeStrange AND a Death Eater, finds out you joined the Order of the Phoenix with your boyfriend.

Tan Lines (Smut): George didn’t tell anyone; Fred just figured it out and then Fred told you. It was quiet simple.  So, you take some time to appreciate the younger prankster.

Thin Walls (Smut/Drabble): You end up alone in a tent with George.

❄️Holiday Decorations (Drabble)

*First Boyfriend Headcanon

*Reader Comes Out as Trans to the Weasleys

Two Years: You got back to Diagon Alley after the war and desperately wanna talk to him and explain why you were basically non-existent during the war. But is Fred ready to talk to you?

Obvious Enough? (Drabble): Fred hates seeing you with his younger brother when he’s right across from you.

Will You?

❄️Christmas Photos (Drabble)

*Reader Comes Out as Trans to the Weasleys

*Fred’s Dominate Boyfriend (Smut)

Dirt Smudges

I Hate Blue

❄️Hot Cocoa Movie Night (Drabble)

Scary

❄️Mistletoe Kisses (Drabble)

Gay Panic

Firework Distraction

You're an Idiot (Smut): Draco is being a brat.. Again. No one's surprised when you run into him after getting back late from Hogsmeade. Also, the reader is Hermione's older brother.

Dance With Me: Draco really wishes he asked you to the Yule Ball. He wishes his father wasn't such a prude. He wishes you were on his arm, not Potters.

Match Already Made: Hermione tries to play match maker. She is so determined to see you and Harry get together she's obvious to the fact you're already taken. Even if you’ve kept it a secret.

A Good Look On You: You and Pansy have been friends since- since forever! Draco was fine with it until Pansy found out his little secret and decided to flirt with her close friend, leading arguing and kissing.

Christmas Break (Smut): You liked Winter Break Draco. Unfortunately, he was replaced by Usual Dick Bag Draco who becomes ruthless. At least Harry is there to make you feel better.

Into His Hands (Smut)

Tunes

Noise (Smut/Drabble): Draco wakes you up early for a quicky.

New (Smut/Drabble): Draco doesn’t appreciate you disobeying him.

It Doesn’t Hurt (Angst?/Drabble): Draco bothers you until you snap at him.

Glass (Smut/Drabble): Draco has a nice, long mirror hanging from his wall.

Dust and Dirt (Smut/Drabble): Draco loves that you want to try something new.

❄️Ice Skating (Drabble)

*Blaise’s Hufflepuff Boyfriend

*Blaise and Golden Trio’s Brother

*Blaise and His Boyfriend (Smut)

[spider-jaysart]

Batfam headcanons part 1 :

(Mar'i's like 2-4 years old in these and jake's like 1-2 years old)

Bruce: Always tries to hide all of the coffee beans from Tim in places you'll never guess to look in, like under the floor boards, behind most of the portraits hanging on the mansion walls, under statues, In the drawers of the file cabinets in the batcave and in his office, in the mouth of the giant dinosaur in the batcave, etc. He works really hard to hide them all

He always has a stash of Alfred's cookies for himself

Dick: Is almost always trying to show off his gymnastics skills to people, like guests at a Wayne gala when bored or when he's talking with some Nightwing fans while out on patrol

He can read upside down words

He loves avocados (A reference to a TTG episode)

Jason: Always stealing something mostly from Tim and lies about it all the time with a straight face

Is the type of uncle who loves spending almost all of his time with his young nephew's and niece's, though Mar'i and Jake are his only nephew and niece for now (He loves them very much)

Loves to jumpscare his siblings when ever he has the chance (Though when he does he mostly gets himself nearly kicked or punched in the face, having to always be fast enough to dodge them)

He's very well known for purposely photo bombing in sibling/family selfies in the backround

Loves giving Mar'i piggyback rides

Knows how to solve rubics cubes, it took him a while to learn but he's a master at it now

Tim: An anime fanatic, he likes to binge watch a lot of anime, he also has like 18 anime posters on his bedroom walls (Like he has a lot of wall space for like 30 more due to how giant his room is). He even has like a whole book shelf dedicated to manga, he even collects figures from most of his favorite animes, he makes sure no one touches them, like ever.

He always finds most of the coffee beans Bruce tries to stash from him, he's kind of an expert since he's been doing this for along time now. Always hunting them down all over around the mansion, making Bruce have to work harder in having to hide them in even more difficult unimaginable places

He's a master at doing yoyo tricks, when he's bored he'll just teach himself some tricks. He always gets a lot of compliments and praise from many people after showing them his cool tricks. He also does it at Wayne galas

He likes to mix and match his socks (A habit he got from Stephanie)

Damian: Loves cinnamon on most of his food like Pop-tarts, waffles, Pancakes, Oatmeal, Cocoa, ice cream, pie, soup, you name it (Also when eating pop-tarts, he only eats cinnamon pop-tarts and will refuse to eat any other flavored pop-tart when theirs no more of the cinnamon flavored ones left. He even stashes his pop-tarts from everyone, it's very rare if he shares them with anyone)

He also really despises cotton candy, like really hates it

Mar'i always loves getting painting lessons from him

(He also really enjoys teaching her)

Can never be jumpscared by anything or anyone, only sometimes it works which is mostly rare making it a challenge to succeed in that attempt, he will just always have a straight face, no flinching whatsoever. Like it is really really hard to scare him

Stephanie: loves to paint Cassandra's nails when ever she has the chance

Cassandra: Loves chocolate milk

Duke: likes to decorate his jackets with patches that have fun designs

Also:

Alfred's immortal DC just won't say it

(My sister came up with the chocolate milk one for Cassandra btw)

My Superfam and DC ship headcanons below

[liquid-luck-00]

Habits

Bio!Dad Bruce

Day 4: Habits

@biodad-bruce-month

First ~~~ Previous ~~~ Next

~~~~~~~~~~

The bat boys went out of their way to make Marinette feel included into the family. However she seemed to always get lost in the manor. Little did they know that she was using the horse miraculous to travel to and from Paris and still hasn't had enough practice with Kaalki.

Yet when they do happen to find her she seems to always be lost in thought while sketching or designing.

They had noticed early on that they could still hold a conversation with her and she would respond and remember the conversation.

---

Marinette hadn't been at the manor for two days when the first incident occurred.

It was Jason who first caught her completely focused and to say it was a shock was an understatement. He had walked into the living room, trying to find her and Tim to play Mecha strike, so when he saw she was designing and Tim was sitting on the other couch reading.

"Hey Replacement, Bluebell who wants to play UMS III?" Jason asked the room.

"I'll play," Tim responded looking up from his book. Both boys then looked at Mari, who seemingly didn't hear them. Tim got up and walked over to her along with him. While

Marinette seemed to be hyper focused on her design that she didn't respond when Jason asked her again. So Jason decided it would be smart to tap her on the shoulder to get her attention. That was a bad idea. . He had snapped her out of her thoughts, but as he did she glared at them.

"Holy Fuck" Jason screamed as he backed away from her.

"What is wrong with you. You break my concentration and then scream. Like seriously Jason." She was holding her head covering her ears while glaring at him.

That was when Tim seemed to find his voice again. "Well if genetics hadn't proved you were Bruce's daughter, you giving Jason his signature glare would prove it."

"Well I guess that explains a few thing now" she hummed.

"That is all you get out of this?" Jason asks.

"What else was to get out of this?" she asked tilting her head, "so what did you guys want anyways?" she went back to her sunny personality.

---

The second incident occurred later that same day but with only Dick. He had gone to find her for dinner, so he went to her room. He had heard from both Jason and Tim that she could pull out the Bruce 'Batman' Glare so he did the smart choice of first knocking on the door.

"Come in" was her only response.

She was sitting at the desk staring at one of her sketchbooks. Her chin was resting on her arm her nose was scrunched and eyebrows furrowed concentrating on the image in front of her.

It wasn't the Batman Glare but she looked just like Bruce when he was in deep concentration.

"Dinner is almost ready" he answered after entering the room.

"Dick thank goodness" She snapped her head up and looked at him with her full attention. "I can’t decide on a color for this blazer. It would look nice in an emerald or in a sapphire blue. I know I want to use gold as an accent around the main part that is black stitched with holographic music notes but I don't know maybe"

"Mari" he interrupted her. God she even over thinks like Bruce, that was why he had stopped her. "Breathe please. Now is this for a certain person or no one in particular?" He asked breaking her slight panic.

"It is for a commission so a certain person." she answered calming down.

"So would the person's hair or eyes clash with those colors" Thank god Barbara always dragged him shopping and complains how certain colors clashed with her hair.

"Neither would clash necessarily, but the sapphire blue would complement his hair and skin tone better" she finished writing something in on the page.

"Okay now that, that is settled why don't we go down for dinner Little B" Dick gave her a smile.

"Little B?"

"Little Bruce" be elaborated, really be meant little bat, but she doesn't know that yet so he improvised.

"Why?"

"The way you scrunch your nose and eyebrows when concentrating is just like him. That and completely overthinking and over analyzing things is just like him"

"It's a habit I've been trying to break" she answers sheepishly.

"Don't, just ask yourself questions to not get sided tracked, it is one of the best qualities a person can have" he answered honestly. "God only knows Bruce wouldn't come up with half of what makes up WE if he didn't overanalyze every little thing" she seemed to cheer up a bit at this and he is glad he could help his little sister.

---

The third incident happened with Tim to say he was surprised when he saw her awake in the kitchen at 3 in the morning as he came back from patrol was shocking.

Honestly the only people awake at that hour were either the Bats, criminals, or him well him or even Bruce who would still be working. But here she is completely awake making, wait is that.

"Is that coffee?" He ended up asking out loud.

She turned to face him "Yes. Want some?"

"Please!!" he practically begged.

"Fair warning this is my special blend, I haven't found anyone else who could handle it" she warned him, but he took it as a challenge.

"Try me" and she did, she set a cup down in front of him and also poured herself one. After the first sip he realized it was strong, much stronger than his usual, and that usually had an entire cup of espresso. "That is good. You are making this again if you don't give me the recipe" she giggled.

"Let's see if you can handle a cup and make it to breakfast." she countered and she left to her room.

When morning came he was still wired in fact he was practically bouncing in his seat while having breakfast and everyone was staring at him. Granted he was usually a zombie in the morning so this was new, actually functioning properly that is.

"You okay there Timmy" Dick asked him, and that was confusing.

"Yes, why wouldn't I be?" Tim asked.

"Now your beginning to scare us. Wait did you actually sleep, Replacement?" Jason asked him.

"I don't think he did Jason" everyone turned and stared at Marinette. "Half a cup" she said staring at him.

"Care to explain Bluebell." 

"So turns out I'm not the only one awake late. Someone" she stared at Tim, "caught me making coffee last night, drank a single cup and still seems to be wired" she shrugged "so half a cup next time Tim"

"Wait, he is the most awake he has ever been in the, almost six years I've known him, and he hasn't slept." Damian stated bored. "what did you put in the coffee?"

"Nothing much, but if you know how to roast the beans right anything is possible" she rose the mug she was holding. That was when they all noticed the mug in her hand.

Out of concern, he is guessing, Dick and Jason moved to take the mug from her. They turned around to face each other with a smirk and they saw that they were both holding identical mugs to the one in, wait Marinette still has a mug.

"Enjoy the cocoa" she smiled as she took a sip from her cup.

"You really are Bruce's daughter if you can pull that with little to no sleep." Tim replied. Her only response was a head tilt. "I swear not sleeping and still being able to function absurdly well is genetic. You, Damian, and Bruce are alike in that."

---

The fourth incident happened and was witnessed by Damian. He was sure that he would be able to have the gym to himself as everyone was out on patrol but he was mistaken.

There was Marinette a headset on, with her hands wrapped moving between punching a bag and a sequence of movements. He watched her until she seemed to finish her set. She looked up and when she noticed him he walked towards her. She wasn't being her usual bubbly self, in fact it looked to him that she was upset.

"I didn't think anyone else would be in here" he stated."

"Oh, really" she answered lowering her headset ”I won't be a bother and did you want to take the punching bag." she said a slight frown on her lips. Okay he may not be the best at dealing with emotions, but he was extremely good at perceiving them on others.

"Something is bothering you, isn't it?" he was blunt sure but he wasn't expecting her to freeze and look around before taking a breath and schooling her features.

"No, everything is fine"

"It. As if I would believe that"

"Really now why don't..."

"Either you talk or we spar" he cut her off. He was expecting her to speak not take off her headset completely, set it down, and take a stance. The two began to spar and after almost two hours they were both lying on the mat exhausted.

"Thanks Damian, I needed a good spar"

"Any time you need, ask" he got up and began walking back to his room.

If he didn't already know she was a Wayne then that would prove it. Only a Wayne would rather not face their emotions and would rather fight.

His sister was his and he would be damned if he didn't at least help her. Albeit it he wasn't the most mushy of the family but she already was the most bearable of his sibling. Maybe he'll teach her to sword fight, then maybe someone would be an actual challenge for him.

Next

~~~~~~~~~~

Tag list:

@mochinek0 @justafanwarrior @abrx2002 @ranger-gothamite @fantasiame @moonystars14 @mochegato @bigbeautifulandfullofsugar @maribat-is-lifeblood @iglowinggemma28 @miraculous-ninja @talutah0 @vixen-uchiha @danielslilangel @witchsblackfox @pawsitivelymiraculous @lizziejay @marinettepotterandplagg @colorfulmongerpsychicranch @dast218 @sassakitty @miyla-lokidottir @lilkymilky @tazanna-blythe @tired-butterfly @lozzybowe @smolplantmum @queencommonsense @loopingtangent @chez-pezeater @paintedhope7 @technicallyburninggarden

[river-bottom-nightmare]

uh from what I've seen you do mostly dick stuff but i really want to share this and at the same time I don't want to put myself out there so hwg:

jason becoming incredibly violent or feeling attacked over people picking up his things or messing with his stuff. specially food.

i apologize in advance this is very long and a bit personal

i have a disease and due to dietary reasons I can't really eat a big variety of things. the list of things I can't eat is gigantic and it includes things like eggs, wheat, gluten, cocoa, milk, peanuts, some types of meat and industrialized products. i basically live on rice, beans, beef and fruits. that means that whenever i get to eat something enjoyable, like let's say a bar of chocolate, it's something i really, really look forward to and sometimes I tend to keep foods stashed away to eat on special occasions or when my disease is more manageable.

that being said, once i was stashing away a bar of chocolate and my sister (who doesn't have the same dietary restrictions nor has the disease) decided to eat it without telling me. I only found out when I opened the fridge and noticed that it was missing. i was not planning on eating it that day or even that week, but i just felt incredibly betrayed. And so angry. I wanted to scream at her. Grab her by the shoulders and shake her.

I can see jason, who lived on the streets and probably had gone days without food and having to fight with teeth and nails to protect what little belongings he had, going absolutely feral over people messing with his things. I'm talking fits of rage. maybe as an adult it somehow subdued but he still loathes when people open his drawers or get something out of his fridge without asking permission.

hiya babe! that is true, i do normally do dick stuff, but i’d love to hear your headcanons about any character!

and oooh boy this one gets dark but it’s good. i can totally understand that, and i can understand jason doing that. with the way he grew up, that hc seems completely on character.

because after his mom died, after it was just him all alone, he was pushed into survival mode. make sure you have enough food, try to pull off the poor child look when panhandling, see if you can get somewhere decent to sleep, trade favours for food and water. every single day was about living to the next. and having to do that so young? most definitely left scars on jason, lasting ones. 

this is such such a cool (if not dark) hc anon, thank you!

[captain--sif]

Salt on my shores

Words: 1.5k Fandom: 9-1-1 (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Evan "Buck" Buckley/Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Characters: Evan "Buck" Buckley, Eddie Diaz (9-1-1 TV) Additional Tags: Christmas, Advent Calendar, Christmas Decorations, Christmas Cookies, Established Relationship, Banter, Marriage Proposal, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Christmas Fluff, Romantic Fluff Summary:

Chris makes holiday decorations for their home. Domestic Buddie fluff ensues.

Buddie Advent 2020, Prompt: Homemade Holiday Decorations

Read on AO3, on wattpad or below. Edit: added the cut now for better readability, now that tumblr isn’t being a dick anymore.

The door to their house clicks closed as Buck carries the groceries through the corridor into the kitchen. Eddie is standing at the stove, cooking, and looks up when Buck slides up to him, the two of them sharing a quick kiss to say hello.

“I brought bell pepper,” Buck says, getting two of them out of the grocery bags and putting it down on the countertop next to Eddie.

“Thank you” Eddie replies, rifling through their cutlery drawer in search of a good knife.

“They had a sale on the cereals you and Chris eat so I got a few more packages” Buck continues, putting them away “I also bought some gingerbread cookies for Chris to take to school and for us to take to the station. I thought it might be nice.” He looks up to see Eddie smiling at him while chopping the bell pepper.

“Don’t chop off your finger,” he directs Eddie’s way “you still need them.”

Eddie laughs and turns back to the countertop, his knife making a noise when it lands on the wooden cutting board.

“I got everything on our list besides vanilla sugar, so I had to get vanillin sugar,” Buck winces before shrugging “But it should be alright. I don’t think we’ve ever used real vanilla sugar before. We’ll survive one more time without.”

“The recipe explicitly calls for vanilla sugar.”

“They all do” Buck cries out, good-naturedly rolling his eyes at Eddie. “You can always subtract it with vanillin sugar. And it’s cheaper.”

“But not when vanilla is in the name of the pastry” Eddie interjects.

Buck sighs. “Well, I got you your vanilla beans.”

Eddie turns back around to look at Buck and leans forward to drop another kiss on his lips. “Thank you.”

Buck grins. “You’re welcome.” Over Eddie’s shoulder he perceives what looks like colorful Christmas cookies cooling out on a baking tray.

“Oh, did Christopher make these with his friend earlier?” he asks, reaching out to grab one and pop it into his mouth.

“Don’t eat it!” Eddie rushes toward him, his voice going into a higher pitch.

Buck lowers his hand that’s holding the cookie, suspiciously inspecting the white-ish grainy dough and the stark red and green icing.

He lifts an eyebrow. “Are they poisonous?”

“They’re decorations” Eddie informs him “they aren’t meant to be eaten.”

Buck furrows his brows. “They made cookies? That are not to be eaten? But supposed to serve as decorations?” He laughs. “You don’t think Chris will actually stick to that. A few days and they’ll all be gone. He won’t even notice that I ate one of them.”

Amusement takes over Eddie’s face. “Well, you can try, but you’re seriously gonna regret eating it. It’s salt dough.”

“What the fuck is salt dough?” Buck grimaces. “Doesn’t sound very tasty.”

Eddie laughs as Buck puts the cookie back on the tray. “It’s not. Apparently, it’s some kind of self-made modeling dough. Good for kids because it’s not toxic.”

“Except for the whole salt thing.”

“Still not healthy to eat” Eddie agrees “but I’m not sure you can bite through it anyway. The finished cookies are pretty hard.”

“You want me to prove that I can?” Buck teases.

“Please don’t. We can’t afford the dentist’s bill.”

Buck laughs, then steps closer to the tray, taking in the different cookies lying around. He recognizes some shapes of their own cookie cutters, as well as some new ones, likely belonging to Christopher’s friend. What he thought to be icing when he picked it up earlier, turns out to be some kind of glazing the children painted the cookies with.

“They really don’t look too bad.” He praises.

Eddie nods, leaning back against the counter he was previously cutting bell pepper on. “We could put some ribbons through them and hang them on the tree.”

“Sounds good.”

  So that's what they do, the three of them, sitting in their living room, the salt dough cookies and multiple rolls of colorful bands that Eddie went out to buy explicitly for this occasion all strewn between them, and each of them a painted cookie in hand, fiddling one end of the fabric through the hole to tie it around the other once it pushed through. Slightly off to the side stand three cups of hot cocoa and somewhere between all the ruffles and rolls, there's also a box with edible Christmas cookies. That last one was Buck's idea ("Would be fitting, don't you think?") that Eddie was vehemently against because he already saw this afternoon ending with someone chipping his tooth off after biting into the wrong cookies. He fears that might as well be him.

All that to say: Buck knows the cookies that should be hanging on their Christmas tree. He's seen them all, on the first tray, in the box they kept them in after, on the table when they were tying the ribbons. He's seen them enough times around the house to know how many there are or at least how many there should be .

So when Buck comes home one evening, a few days later, and catches sight of the decorated fir tree in their living room, he can't help but notice that there are more salt dough figurines than there should be if Eddie and Chris had put up all the ones they prepared earlier.

Not by a lot, subtle enough not to be excessive, but enough not to fool Buck.

Curiosity piqued, he approaches the tree, lifting up the designs unfamiliar to him. They're innocuous enough: some hearts, some stars, some snowflakes and Christmas trees, not too different from the ones Chris had made with his friend.

But then Buck's eyes and hands land upon a ring of some kind. Most of it is painted yellow (Buck assumes it's meant to represent gold, and he admits it looks close enough) but there's a small tint of blue towards the other side of the ring, the one that was facing towards the stem of the tree initially. Buck's breath catches in his throat.

His mind occupied, Buck only realizes Eddie has slipped into the room once he clicks the terrace door close behind him. He jumps a little at the sound, causing Eddie to laugh and tease him about it.

“What’s got you so jumpy today?” Eddie slides up next to Buck, leaning in for a kiss but stopping in his tracks once he realizes what it is that Buck’s holding. Then he laughs. “I thought I would have a little more time until you found it.”

A grin spreads on Buck’s face, his eyes lifting to Eddie’s, with a mischievous glint in his eyes but the ring still spinning between his fingers.

“Really, Eddie?” he asks “the next time you don’t want me to find something maybe don’t hide it in plain sight, oh wait, I think hiding might be a bit too strong of a word.”

Eddie huffs. “It was meant for you to find. But I thought it would take you a little longer. Guess you know me too well.” Buck winks at him in response. “I guess that’s why I hung it up in the first place.”

“Is that so?” Buck says, too smug for Eddie to believe the faux innocence put into that phrasing.

“I think I changed my mind,” Eddie says, turning around, but they both know he doesn’t mean it.

So when Buck grabs him, turns him around, and pulls him closer, he leans in for a kiss.

“I wanna hear it,” Buck says, not letting him go, a soft look in his eyes that don’t leave Eddie’s face.

“You wanna hear what?”

Buck huffs a laugh. “The speech you have prepared.”

Eddie crinkles his eyes. “Why do you think there’s a speech?”

“You expect me to say yes without a speech?” Buck lifts his eyebrows accusingly, before lifting the ring next to them. “And to a ring made out of salt dough?”

Eddie laughs. “Don’t act like you wouldn’t say yes if I presented you with a paper ring.”

“But only because I love you.”

“Well, everything else would be kind of embarrassing now.”

Buck laughs, leaning his forehead against Eddie’s for a second before asking again. “So I don’t get a speech?”

“It’s symbolic,” Eddie explains after an affected sigh. “The ring. We can’t wear rings at work anyway and I knew you’d scold me for picking up extra shifts just to buy an engagement ring you’ll hardly wear and because I couldn’t wait for you to do it instead and you seem to have become quite the fan of salt dough decorations, so I thought why not. We’ll get real rings for our wedding anyway and this is… something personal.”

“That’s cute,” Buck admits, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Eddie’s lips. “And my answer is yes, obviously.”

Eddie drags Buck even closer and deepens the kiss.

Also find this on AO3 or wattpad.

[hollyhock13]

All I Want for Christmas is You

AN:  This is for @nerdkate88‘s prompt “First Christmases / First Christmas traditions / How Christmas evolved for the Waynes” for the Batfam Christmas Stocking exchange on Tumblr and AO3. Special thanks to @ursapharoh05 for helping me get this done and presentable. 

 Alfred planned for this Christmas as any other.  He, with his army of caretakers, bakers, decorators, and otherwise titled helpers, had once again transformed Wayne Manor into a cheerful vestibule of holiday cheer.  Never mind that it had all gone to waste again this year.

 He tries to banish that thought from his mind.  No, he has done his job, and he has done it well.  As valet to the only remaining Wayne, it is vital that he oversee the remaining details.  The phone rings. He answers it as he has done so many times prior. The conversation with the planner executing this year’s charity gala goes exactly as expected, and Alfred rests the handset back in its cradle to end the call.  He sighs as he mentally calculates the tasks that remain. Once, he had forgotten among the holiday to-dos to complete some of his less flashy but more important tasks. He doesn’t forget anymore.

 As he adds “pay the party planner” to his list for tomorrow, the doorbell rings.  Alfred reviews his list of expected personnel and finds he is quite correct in not expecting any until tomorrow at the earliest.  Most don’t work on Christmas, regardless of religious affiliation, as it is a national holiday. Alfred hesitates just a moment before moving toward the door to peek out the window.

 A huddled mountain of clothing and skin red from the cold greets his cautious eyes.  Perhaps a homeless man or woman who has heard that the Waynes are kind to such persons down on their luck.  Perhaps a criminal meaning to catch him off-guard and rob them blind. Or—he catches himself before he can dwell on that particular thought.  This requires a decision, and a quick one. He makes up his mind and reaches for the lock. He is Alfred Pennyworth, of Her Majesty’s Special Forces. He can take any ruffian who might be at the door. He turns the handle and faces his unexpected guest.

 A pair of familiar blue eyes blink down at him.  “Alfred?”

 “It can’t be.”

 “It’s me.”

 “You’ve grown.”

 A half-sob and a laugh.  “Yes. May I come in?”

 Alfred steps to the side.  “You may as well. It is your house, after all.”

 The mountain of a human being that has revealed itself to be Bruce Wayne takes a step inside the door.

 “May I take your coat, Sir?”  Alfred asks his once-charge with a lump in his throat.

 The smile that has been flirting with the corners of Master Bruce’s mouth flees.  “I—. Yes, thank you. How—how have you been, Alfred?”

 “My health has been adequate.  And yours?” He doesn’t mention how he feels he has aged ten years for every moment his young charge had been gone.

 “Mine has been the same.”  Bruce doesn’t mention the scars that Alfred can see now litter his arms with the removal of his (inadequate) coat.

 “Where have you been?” Alfred asks around the lump in his throat that has only grown.

 “Everywhere,” Bruce replies.  “I’ve set foot on every continent.  I’ve learned languages and techniques from all over the world.  I’ve eaten local foods in over a dozen different countries and not one of them can hold a candle to your cooking.”

 Alfred doesn’t point out that most of their food is prepared by a professional chef.  “Is that so, my boy?”

 Bruce seems to crumble at the familiarity.  “It’s true. I’ve learned hundreds of fighting techniques, but never to kill.  I’ve got a plan, Alfred, to help the city.”

 The butler gathers his boy into his arms.  “Can it wait until after Christmas?”

 “...Yes.”  And it does.

   Dick has never seen so many presents in his life.  There’s gotta be a hundred, no, a THOUSAND of them!  He stares at them for all of twenty seconds before he’s attempting to climb the pile.

 “Master Richard, it will be much easier to open your gifts if you are not dependant on them for structural stability,” Alfred says.

 Dick frowns and slides down the pile.  “      My     gifts?  They’re not for everybody?  What about you and Bruce?”

 Alfred points to two much smaller piles under one of the smaller trees.  “They wouldn’t fit under the tree,” he laments.

 Dick is satisfied by this answer and goes back to ogling the mountain of presents instead.  “How many do you think there are?” he asks in awe.

 “Many.  I do believe Santa got a little carried away this year.”  Alfred and Bruce exchange a look that Dick doesn’t understand.  “Shall we begin?”

 Dick nods eagerly and the two men watch him tear into the shiny gift wrap.  The pile of wrapping paper grows in proportion to the pile of unwrapped gifts.

 Dick starts to wane about halfway through the enormous pile, so they take a break for hot cocoa (and coffee) with cookies and breakfast.  Dick stuffs an entire handful of marshmallows into his mug. Alfred joins him in giggling at Bruce’s whipped cream mustache. The chocolate chip pancakes with a smiley face are the best thing he’s ever seen!

 The rest of the presents are unwrapped quickly without much attention paid to what is inside.

 Long after the pile of presents has been exhausted, Dick climbs into Bruce’s lap.  “Bruce?”

 “Yeah, Chum?”

 “Thanks.”

 “Sure, Chum.”

 The sniffle is unexpected, and Dick tries to play it off.

 “Chum?  Are you alright?”

 “Yeah, I just got a cold.”  It’s a lie and they both know it.

 “Did you not get something you wanted?” Bruce asks quickly.

 “No, it’s not that.”  Another sniffle escapes, then a sob.  “Do you still miss yours?” Dick asks before he can stop himself.

 Bruce takes a moment to think.  “Yes,” he answers honestly, “every day, but especially for big moments like this.  But it gets easier after a while.”

 Dick turns his face into Bruce’s shoulder to muffle the next sob.  “I want them back!” he cries. “I don’t want it to be easier, I want them back!”

 “I know.”  The day doesn’t get any easier, but they do manage to enjoy some of it.  Dick goes to bed with one of his new stuffed animals tucked under his arm, and one of his old ones tucked under the other.

     The best thing about Christmas is the food, Jason thinks. Cookies and turkey and ham and pie and mashed potatoes and as much gravy as he can fit on his plate make for a happy boy.  Even better, though, are the abundance of fruit and vegetables. Everything from corn, peas, and green beans to oranges, apples, and pomegranates!  If he tries, he thinks he can put every color in the world on his plate. He’s even pretty sure that Alfie will let him if he wants to try. He takes some of everything, and he refuses to leave the table until he’s finished his plate, though not for lack of trying on Bruce’s part.

 “Jay-lad!  Don’t you want to come play with some of these?”

 A shake of his head.  There’s collard greens too!

 “My boy!  Look at this helicopter!”

 Oh ho ho!  There’s a whole drumstick left! Score!

 Bruce sighs in defeat.

 Jason is starting to slow down, but he's still eating even though he’s starting to think he's going to make himself sick.  And then he takes a bite of the cauliflower. He makes a face, gags, and takes another bite.

 “Jay, if you don't like it you don't have to finish it.”

 Jason nods and takes another painful bite.

 “Jay, nothing bad is going to happen if you don't eat the cauliflower.”

 “What if we get hungry later and I didn't eat it and it goes to waste?” Jason demands.

 “Then we'll get some different food,” Bruce replies.  “There will never be a shortage of food in this house.

 “But mom says…” the boy trails off and clamps his mouth shut.

 “What does your mom say?”

 “She says to eat when we got food. To save the cans and stuff for when it's bad, but never let it go to waste.”

 “That's a good philosophy, buddy, but the truth is that we made enough so that we could have leftovers. There's no way we can eat it all tonight.”

 “Then what are we going to do with it?!” Jason demands, surveying the feast.

 “We're going to wrap it up and put it in the fridge and the freezer to keep it good,” Bruce assures.  “It will be almost as good as if we ate it right this second and it keeps us from getting too full.”

 “How can you be sure the electricity will stay on, though?” Jason demands.

 “Because we pay our bill in full and on time every month.  It won't be a problem.”

 “Mom said she payed it sometimes too, and then the lights went out anyway.” Jason stares at the remaining mound of food on his plate as frustrated tears leak from his eyes.

 “How about we put it in the freezer? That way, if the power does go out, we can get it connected again before it thaws completely.”

 Alfred nods in agreement when Jason looks at him for confirmation.   Jason nods slowly. “Okay.”

 “Alright, let's get some of those leftover containers.  Do you know where they are?” Bruce asks Jason.

 He shakes his head and Alfred steps in.  “Allow me, young masters.”

 Alfred disappears for a few minutes and returns with stacks of Tupperware.  “Shall I inform you how to fill these properly?” He asks.

 Bruce and Jason both nod.  After a quick demonstration, the younger ones start enthusiastically filling containers.  The mountain of containers is a mountain of packaged food in under a half hour. Bruce and Jason are very pleased with themselves as they ferry food to the chest freezer that Alfred keeps for such occasions.  Jason warms up a little after that.

     Her funeral was held on Christmas Eve, and her husband wasn’t there.

 Tim doesn't cry at the funeral, or when they get home.  He goes to bed.

 Dick spends the night at the manor, though whether he's there for Tim or Bruce is anyone's guess.

 Christmas morning dawns quietly at Wayne Manor, with nobody up and about, not even Alfred.  Tim wakes first, as the others stayed up for patrol. He doesn't want to encounter anyone, so instead of heading for the tree and the gifts piled there he turns toward the kitchen for a glass of water and maybe some toast.

 It takes him a moment to find a glass, and then another to find bread and a toaster. He's never been in this kitchen without another person before, and it seems colder, more clinical than it ever had before.  Tim realizes he doesn't want to be alone. He leaves the bread toasting in the toaster and heads back up the stairs.

 Tim pauses at the top.  He'd been seeking company, but he realizes now that he's not sure whose company he should be seeking. Bruce is not someone he wants to disturb for any reason. Alfred works so hard all the time, he doesn't want to disturb his rest.  And Dick, he hardly knows Dick for all that he's admired him from afar for so long. He stands there, paralyzed by indecision and what feels like tears building in his eyes.  “Why now?” Tim mutters to himself as he presses his hands to his eyes.

 “Tim?” Asks a voice from somewhere beyond the colors blooming against his eyelids.

 He drops his hands instantly to see Dick Grayson bending to look him in the eyes.  “You alright, kiddo?”

 Tim nods woodenly.

 Dick offers him a soft smile.  “You know, I've always found that opening gifts is a pretty good way to distract myself from the unpleasantness in the world, at least for one morning.”

 Tim takes the suggestion as what it is: a tentative offer for some comfort through material things.  He nods.

 Dick's smile gets a hundred times brighter, but before Tim can regret agreeing to this odd form of retail therapy, Dick has taken him by the arm and dragged him into Bruce's room without knocking.

 “Psst.  Bruce. It's Christmas.”

 Bruce checks the alarm clock on the table with the one eye he's cracked open at the stage whisper.  “I'm tired, Dick. We can start Christmas later.”

 “Tim's here too.”

 That gets a bigger reaction.  Bruce rolls over to squint at the two of them.  Tim thinks that he must look really quite pathetic because Bruce sighs and begins making motions to get up.  “Fine. I'll be down in ten minutes. Don't bother Alfred if you don't have to.”

 Dick chirps, “Okay!”

 He drags Tim out of Bruce's room  and back to the room where he had spent the night.  “If you want to be wearing any clothes for the rest of the day, now is the time.”

 Tim blinks at that declaration.  Where might they be going? Are they planning to stay here?  He chews on his lip for a moment. Maybe this is a trick question and they really spend all morning in pajamas. He decides on putting on a warm hoodie over the top of his pajamas. He turns back to Dick, who is still grinning like he's won the lottery. Although, Tim thinks, considering the house they're both in, he kind of has.

 Dick quite literally pulls him out of his thoughts by taking his arm and tugging him toward the stairs.  “Come on, it'll be fun! Promise.”

 Bruce steps out of his room looking very tired.  Tim is immediately hit by guilt that effectively knocks him out flat.  Dick must notice something, because he turns to Tim with concern in his eyes.

 “You okay, Timbo?”

 That, of course, makes Bruce turn to survey him, and Tim is positive he can see every feeling Tim's ever hidden written right there in his face.  Tim nods to try and escape this scrutiny, but they only redouble their efforts.

 Bruce finally asks, “What is wrong, Tim?  Did Dick pressure you into this?”

 Dick squawks at the accusation but ultimately doesn't speak.  Tim shakes his head.

 “I'm sorry we woke you up,” he says instead, “I know you had a late night.”

 Bruce frowns.  “You're fine,” he says.  “You can always come to me.”

 “I--you're so busy, it's not--”

 “I'll always have time for you, Tim.  Would you like to go downstairs?”

 Tim nods.  “Yeah, I'd like that.”

   Damian is sulking.  He admits it only in his head, but he's quite certain this is what the word means.

 Richard is definitely sulking.  He is upset that his so called family are scattered around the globe: Cain in Hong Kong, Drake in Paris the last they had heard, and Todd wreaking havoc in Gotham but refusing any and all attempts at reconciliation (ridiculous though Damian himself may find the concept) and Father…  Father is dead. Damian tries not to dwell.

 He goes back to his sulking instead.  This is the most ridiculous holiday he has ever encountered.  Who makes a holiday based around family and gifts when there are people who have neither?  Damian scowls. This is ridiculous indeed.

 Grayson intrudes upon Damian's bedroom to greet him.  “Hi Li'l D. You ready for presents?”

 Damian scowls again.  “I am not. I did not realize I was expected to give you gifts in return,” he admits.  “I have no such offering for you or Pennyworth.” His cheeks burn.

 Grayson doesn't miss a beat.  “That's alright, little D. I've gotten a lot of presents in my day.  Maybe I can take you out shopping tomorrow for a present for Alfred in any case.”

 Damian nods slowly.  If he plans it correctly, he may also be able to pick a gift for Grayson.  “That would be acceptable.”

 Grayson gives him another one of his large grins.  “Great! Then come on down!” 

 Damian follows Grayson's bounds at a much slower pace.  He is quite certain that the man is performing for his sake, as he knows he had been upset to be rebuffed by his siblings.  Damian scowls again. Why had no one told him about the traditions of this holiday? If he had known he would at least have had a gift to offer Grayson as poor restitution.

 Damian looks up as they enter the entry hall.  He knows the large tree would only fit in this open area before the stairs where the ceiling doesn't close them in (it's a three story room), but he hadn't realized the space would be required for the      mountains     of gifts that had somehow been acquired without his knowledge.  The wrapping paper shines in the light from the tree.

 Grayson nudges him with a grin.  “It's pretty, right, Damian?”

 Damian closes his mouth with a snap.  “Tt. It is acceptable.” He regrets his words when it makes the smile on Grayson's face fade.  He turns to look at the gifts again to assuage his guilt. “To whom are these addressed?” He asks instead of trying to apologize.  That urge is just weakness, he reminds himself.

 “Well, some are for me, and some are for Alfie, and there are some for Cass and Tim when they get home, and a couple for Jason in case he decides to show up and a few for Babs and one or two for Stephanie…” Dick smiles at Damian's impatient scowl.  “But the majority are for you.”

 “Of course,” Damian sniffs, “you would be lost without me.”

 “Absolutely,” Grayson agrees.  “You ready to get started then?”

 Damian nods, and they begin.

   It's been a long year, Bruce thinks.

 Although, now that he thinks about it, it's been several long years.  Probably more than ten long years. He's quite certain he didn't know what he was thinking when he took in one child, let alone the FIVE who are now terrorizing what was supposed to be his lazy Christmas morning.

 “Damian, give that back!  It's mine and you know it!”

 “It was not addressed to anyone, Drake!  Grayson has informed me that that means it is a family gift!”

 “It only didn't have a name because it was from Cass!”

 A wrestling match breaks out on the other side of the room. He's not entirely sure who is involved until Cass emerges the victor with Dick pinned to the ground.  She grins and doesn't let him up until he looks properly defeated to her own inscrutable standards.

 Jason is tossing popcorn at Damian while he yells at Tim, attempting, as far as Bruce can tell, to get it to land in his hair. Damian whirls on him when a kernel lands in his ear. Jason is tackled and Tim takes the opportunity to snatch the gift that Damian had been trying to claim off the floor.

 Alfred approaches from the kitchen with a tray full of breakfast, which he passes off to the swarm of children. There is not a crumb left by the time it gets to Bruce.  He groans. “What have I done to deserve kids like this?” He asks in a tone dangerously close to a whine.

 “Oh, I don't think that is a question you want to ask, Master Bruce.  The real question is, what have I done to deserve this?” The question is said lightly, almost laughing so Bruce thinks it's a joke.

 A wrapped gift hits Bruce right in the belly and it isn't soft. “Hey! You next, old man!” Jason shouts across the room. The other kids stop fighting and gather around to watch.

 Bruce opens the gift with the wariness of someone expecting a prank.  The kids goad him on with cheers and shouts which do not ease his worry.

 The paper is removed to reveal a small box with a well-known jewelry company logo stamped across it.  He lifts the lid to see the ugliest watch on which he's ever laid eyes. He lifts it out of the package, not sure if this is some kind of mistake or joke.  But...Jason likes that style of watch band, and Damian would have insisted on the Roman Numerals on the face. Cass must have picked the garish gemstones and Dick would have liked the hideous color combinations.  He flips it over. There's Tim, in the practicality of a waterproof, atomic, and, he's certain, tech-infused watch.

 Bruce's eyes water.  These are his kids, how could he have been complaining?  It's still a hideous watch, but it was a gift. From and of his children.  Speaking of his children…

 “Well?”

 “Does he like it?”

 “I can’t tell.  Do you like it, old man?”

 “It's ugly!  I can't believe we've given Father an unattractive watch!  Father, I shall punish them all for their disgusting choices!”

 “Damian, I love it.  Please don't hurt your siblings.  Thank you. All of you. It's the best Christmas present I could have received.”  He turns away to keep the happy tears in his eyes from leaking out. He's content for almost thirty seconds.

 The silence is broken with a vengeance.

 “Pay up, you cowards!” Jason crows.  “I told you we could make him cry by giving him an ugly watch!  You all owe me fifty bucks! Except Cass, who you also owe fifty bucks.”

 The other three boys groan.  “I thought you meant tears because it was so ugly!” Dick complains.

 “Yeah, since when do sappy tears count?” Tim whines.

 Damian breaks in with, “The tears never fell!  You are claiming a false victory!”

 Another fight breaks out and Bruce sighs.  What did he do to deserve children like this?

[gingertodgers]

Hey, lovely :) If the Secret Santa is still open, please could I request Jeddy, with friends to lovers, hot cocoa, and Christmas baking for Mxlfoydraco

Teddy Lupin/James Sirius Potter - 7th December in the HP Secret Santa(Merry Christmas @mxlfoydraco!)

requests are still open here It was snowing and Teddy was making minty hot chocolate when his phone rang.

“Alright Jamie boy?” he answered, popping the call on loudspeaker as he carefully measured out another tablespoon of toothpaste.

“Ted-aayyyyy!” James sang. “Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted!”

“Got your essay handed in then?”

“Well in, mate. Well. In.”

Teddy smiled as he listened to James dance around. There was a faint crash and an “aww fuck” from James before he was back, panting happily down the line.

“You ready to come home then?”

“Born ready, T-T-Teddy.”

“Dial is down Jamesing Bean,” Teddy laughed again as James groaned at the old nickname. “Are you coming back tonight or tomorrow?”

“Tonight, Mum’s picking me up from the station at half seven and we’re going to the Burrow, you coming over?”

“Course,” said Teddy. “It’s been a while.”

“Only three months.”

“Yeah but in uni that’s a lifetime, you’ll be a broken man.”

James laughed again and Teddy grinned at the phone, reaching over to take it off speaker and moving to the window. James was implying scandalous things about Teddy’s advancing years and Teddy let him babble on for a bit.

“-I’ve missed you, Ted.”

“What was that?” Teddy realised he’d zoned out of the conversation, watching the snow.

“Said I’ve missed you, dickhead.”

“Oy!” Teddy laughed. “How does asking you to repeat something make me a dickhead?”

“You should be hanging on my every word,” said James. “Writing it all down for posterity.”

“Which is exactly what I was doing,” said Teddy. “‘s why I got distracted. Help me catch up, yeah? How do you spell ‘vainglorious wanker’?”

“Oh that’s easy! T-E-D-D-Y-L-U-P-I-” James dissolved into giggles at Teddy’s mock outraged huff.

Shaking his head, Teddy took another sip of his hot chocolate, wincing as he realised it needed more toothpaste.

“So? Do you miss me too?”

If Teddy hadn’t been distracted by trying to open the toothpaste he would have picked up on James’ faux-casual tone.

“Course I have,” he said instead.

“How much?”

“I don’t know, Jamie. A lot.”

“But how much?”

“Not sure. Probably more than I’ve ever missed anyone?”

“Really?”

“Yeah.” Finally satisfied with the chocolate to mint ratio in his hot chocolate, Teddy leant back against the counter.

“So you fancy me?”

“What?” Teddy just about managed not to spray hot chocolate across the kitchen, catching most of it in his cupped hand. He did fancy Jamie but they always dicked around like this, competing to see who could make the most overblown declarations, it didn’t mean anything, it didn’t-”

“Ted? You still there?”

“Yeah, sorry.” Teddy grabbed a teatowel to wipe up the rest of the chocolate and dumped the mug in the sink. “Feels like I’ve missed something here. Why are you talking about fancying?”

“Dunno,” this time Teddy caught James’ faux-casual tone. Potters couldn’t subterfuge for shit. “Just, been thinking about you a bit.”

“Right,” Teddy didn’t really know what else to say so he waited, listening to James breath down the line.

“Thought I might as well ask,” James eventually said, sounding like he was regretting the entire conversation. “You know, in case you did but were too scared to tell me and we just ended up, like, pining for years.”

“Years? You reckon that’s how long it would have taken me to ask you out?” Teddy’s face felt funny and he realised that his cheeks actually hurt from smiling.

“Just trying to save you from yourself, Teddy.” James sounded like he was smiling a bit too.

“Well, thanks for that. I do fancy you, as it goes. So…”

“So what?” James asked, voice breathless.

Teddy smiled again, prodding his own cheeks and laughing as he said “So? So come the fuck home.”

[lupehurtado53]

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[blizzardfluffykpop]

Minhyun X Reader

Summary:A snowball fight, to the death?

One-shot

Prompt: 30.  You know I thought being out in the cold was enough but now I have frost bite. You kidding me?

Instead of being the good child and going to work, no rather instead I decided to be a good sister. Huh, you wonder who that is? That’s none other than myself being a good sister to my little brother, the one everyone raves about. The one people like literally want to fuck the first time they meet him. I wouldn’t understand because he still my little brother who I don’t believe even has had sex. Even though he talked to me about having his first time, but we do not to talk about that. He is still a innocent smol bean, fuck you. May I say that he will forever not know what a pussy or a dick is like. Just in my sense, at least I didn’t want to know about him fucking my best friend. Oh god that was nastiest story I ever heard. because I heard from both ends.

Anyways, back to the point of this story, amirite? No I am not… But I’m being a good sister and kicking my brother’s ass in a snowball fight. I have a few of his friends on my team, and my brother knows. Now he knows of my crush because he is a little brat and went through my phone and my text messages to Mel. His ex and my best friend. He found out about my little–okay rephrase–big crush on his friend Minhyun.

And do you know what that little shit decides? He decides to fucking put him on his team before I could say anything. And that’s why they are going down. They are dead to this world and the other two worlds. So I invited Mel and he still likes her and they both won’t admit their own feelings like they two imbeciles they are so, you know.

I make a run for it running to take down the others, Minhyun and Daniel being the only two left. They are so dead, oh so dead. I don’t even care if I like the one, he is going down. This is war.

Now, what I wasn’t expecting was for Minhyun to come up behind me and shove a ball of snow in my face and then what I didn’t expect even more was for him to turn me around and pull me into a hug. You thought I was going to say kiss. Well I wished that happened as much as you did sweetheart but it didn’t.

He actually got himself out and we went inside me muttering something about frost bite and he says, “You know I thought being out in the cold was enough but now I have frostbite. You kidding me?”

“Well I’m not” I say snarky and he shakes his head at me and says, “Aren’t your lips cold?”

“Yeah…”

“Well I think they could use some warming up don’t you?”

And unlike what you think he would do he goes over and starts making hot cocoa for me and the others. Asking me to help I nearly groan at this you got to be kidding me.

I stomp over to him grab him by the winter jacket he neglected to take off and kiss him sick of this little game. He was shocked and kissed me after wrapping his arm around my waist while he turns on the gas with his other hand. Kissing me back actually sort of shocked me, I slowly let go of his collar wrapping my arms around his neck and we pull away after a few. And he looks at me and asks, “You liked me all this time?”

“Someone is messing with me right now help me, my liege.”

“Am I your king now, my queen?” I thwack him with my shirt and he laughs and I nod at him needless to say and he kisses me before, he pulls away to finish the hot cocoa. I put my head into his neck and just lay my head there. This boy I love him but sometimes he’s to adorable for my heart.

He finished up after a minute and says, “Thank God you like me it’s a Christmas miracle”

“For you and me both” I grin giving him a kiss on his nose as he takes off his jacket.

[iraniq]

I married who … ?

Take One : http://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/165871852887/i-married-who

Take Two: http://iraniq.tumblr.com/post/166005441377/i-married-who

Take three

As a real gentleman he opened the door for me.

-        Horrible! – I exhaled.

-        But you were just here!

-        Yeah … - I throw my stuff near one of the small sofas. – I’ll kill for something sweet!

He walked to the shelf, where a paper bad was placed, that I didn’t manage to see earlier, and got me a chocolate form there. A red one “Mast brothers”. It says “Madagascar”.

-        Am, no way!

-        What?

-        Is this vegetable chocolate? They are tasteless!

-        You know what … - “I am so good at making people mad” – try it first and we will talk later, ok? That’s the only chocolate you should know about!

-        What about Lindt?

-        Screw them, eat this! – he throw the chocolate at me, but I was slow enough, and it ended hitting my head instead. I whined, in pain, and he quickly came, kneeled and took the chocolate, smiling at my lack of self-defense instinct; opened it and offer me a piece. – Here! – I bite it. He got himself a piece too.

-        Hm …

-        It’s good isn’t it.

-        It’s gross!

-        It’s black chocolate.

-        With fruits.

-        Not … exactly! It’s 72% dark chocolate with cocoa beans from Madagascar, which tend to have naturally fruity notes.

-        Aha … - I kept on chewing it. – it’s not that bad!

-        See!

I just nodded. Not quite excited to be with him, now … or in the future! He put the TV on. A new song started.

-        Omg … It's going down, I'm yelling timber. You better move, you better dance. Let's make a night you won't remember. I'll be the one you won't forget

-        Wooooah (timber), wooooah (timber), wooooah (it's going down) Wooooah (timber), wooooah (timber), wooooah (it's going down) – J got along with me, and I started laughing. He swing me with him, and we started shaking completely out of rhythm.

-        It's going down, I'm yelling timber. You better move, you better dance. Let's make a night you won't remember. I'll be the one you won't forget. It's going down.

-        It's going down

-        I'm yelling timber. You better move

-        You better move

-        You better dance

-        You better dance

-        Let's make a night you won't remember. I'll be the one you won't forget

-        You won't forget. Wooooah, wooooah, wooooah. It's going down! – he sang the last one in Joker’s voice, and I laughed like crazy – You totally forgot everything, tho! – he mocked.

The song ended. Another one started - “Talking to myself” by Linkin Park. He got silent, just looking at the screen.

-        It’s so … surreal.

-        What?

I pointed at the TV

-        I remember I was … 5-th grade. Around 11, when I started listening to them. In 4-th grade we were 3 classes, but we were only 17 kids, so they separated us in the other 2 classes. The girl I sat on the same desk with, was a fan of theirs … - he was sitting on the bed, staring in his feet. – I remember I had a hard time distinguishing them with Eminem … - still in silence - … they were both blond and wearing similar clothes, back at the time … you know, the trend was kinda the same … it’s really surreal. Compared to … Elvis maybe, he was dead long before I was born … but … you don’t see …

-        Just shut up ok! – he wasn’t yelling, just in low quiet, stern voice.

-        I am sorry … I didn’t know what to say, and I kinda wanted to … I …

-        It’s really kind of you, but everyone grief in a different way, just do it your way. No need to match the others.

We stayed quiet for a while. Then he got to the bathroom to wash his face.

-        Summer! … Summer … - I yelled cheering, because his song started playing, and I put the volume up.

-        It’s autumn already!

-        No, you are Summer!

-        Why? – he got out with a towel in his hands drying some strands of his hair.

-        Because your last name means “summer” on my language!

-        Really? – he looked surprised, but at the same moment uninterested.

-        Yeah … don’t you know this?

-        How am I supposed to, I don’t speak your language!

-        Wasn’t your last girlfriend russian, it’s the same word on their language too!

-        You always manage to say the right thing, don’t you! – this time he yelled.

I swear for a first time in my life a saw how baby blue eyes turn dark. Now I realize why everyone feared the Joker on the set. I stepped back a little bit!

-        Do you have an “off” button? Because I’ll glue it off! – he yelled -  … Jesus, don’t be a pussy! Come here! – he coughed my wrist and dragged me to him, but I refused and keep fighting. – Don’t be stubborn – he yelled, and I gave up. He hugged me tight; my tears were still rolling down my cheeks. – It’s fine, the monster is gone! – he said and kissed my forehead gently. Swinging me slightly left and right. - Listen … - he lose his grip on me – I’ll keep you for a while, I’ll take care of you like a Queen, and I promise I’ll grand you your freedom for your birthday! Ok?

We stayed silent for a while.

-        Why there should be a monster? – I asked, still snuggling in him.

-        Well because … You know … I lost my nerves, everyone does this …

-        It kind of leaves an impression it’s Shannon’s thing?

-        He is short tempered … things with him come and go … the madness stays with me.

-        Yeah, although you are with the wrong hair color! – I laughed. He let me go of his embrace. – So you really work with these people …

-        No!

-        But …

-        NO! – he cut me short. – Last night when we got married, you married someone named just “jared”, not a rockstar or an actor.

-        Definitely not one with an Oscar award! – he chuckled. – But … you said you are gonna treat me like a Queen!

-        What I meant was my attitude towards you! Not the money …

-        Ok … listen now lil … grandpa … bitch … - I crossed my arms. – I was born poor, raised poor, and be happy when I was poor …

-        Same here! – he raised his hand.

-        You ain’t buying me … well maybe I’ll agree at books …

-        Oh … - he closed his eyes. Putting a hand on his heart.

-        Are you all right?

-        If we weren’t married, I would’ve asked you to marry me!

-        I think we can do it again.

-        Well … after 2 years, we can start getting married every year … I think!

-        Ha! … So, nothing on the “famous” subject?

-        Nope!

-        What about your meeting in the afternoon?

-        Emma will call, I’ll be away only for an hour, you can enjoy yourself, while I am away … no need to cry my absence out!

-        Oh … it will be so hard! – I laughed and he pinched my hand.

-        I hope so!

-        So … he really drugged me?

-        Yes!

-        How did you know?

-        As I said, I know how a hangover after drugs and alcohol looks like, on the top of this, his face gave him away - he barely managed to hide his surprise when I told him. Jeez, I barely managed not to break his had then and there!

-        Why … I mean, I doubt …

-        I may not know you, but this doesn’t mean I’ll let a dick drug you! What if he had planned to marry you and refuse to let you go?

-        Like you did!

He just smiled in defeat.

-        What will we do till then?

-        All the cool stuff! Have you been in Italy? My bff lives there. You’ll love it, they have all kinds of cakes there. Also … as I said I need help with my life.

-        I won’t tell you any secrets of mine.

-        Secret for a secret?

-        Fine with me!

-        Nothing personal tho!

-        Ok. – I laughed. – I’ll try not to mention stuff.

-        How did you know anyway, you said you hated me!

-        A friend send this to me.

-        Why?

-        Because she was a fan of yours, and this changed her mind.

-        Hm …

-        If she was a real one, this wouldn’t bother her.

-        Hm …

-        I know … I like this guy, he is … was kinda famous home, from our national ice skating team. He got a car accident, ran over a girl and she is incapable of walking now, and everyone hate him, but I like him still. Regardless! Everyone makes mistakes.

He just smiled.

-        Hungry?

-        Starving!

-        I’ll order vegan friendly food.

-        I am vegetarian … no way I’ll quit milk, yogurt and cheese!

-        We already saw I changed your mind for chocolate.

-        You did not. It tasted like dirt.

-        Yeah, now you say this! – he laughed and took the phone to order breakfast. – Any special requests?

-        Apples!

-        I married well!

-        Defiance?!!!! – “seriously”

-        Get out of town! – he waved playfully at me. -  Yeah, I’d like to order breakfast ... 

-        Megamind?

-        … but will you first wait, I have to kiss my wonderful wife …

-        No way, order food first! – I yelled and could hear the lady on the phone laughing.

____________________________

@diyunho @rhina988 @nikkitasevoli @auntiemama1 @wolfgirl1074 @sookieblack12 @spillinginkwithlove @lady-grinning-soul-k @jayded-reality @lylabell2013 @cadeathens @fanalityfiction 

[vaguely-concerned]

RANDOM OVERWATCH/MCHANZO HEADCANONS

My headcanons are usually global, so to say, so once established they mainly hold true for anything I write in that fandom until canon actively overwrites it (and sometimes even after that if I think the real answer is dumb ha ha). Most of what I’ve already done is the ‘Scoundrels and Thieves’ AU series. 

- Shimadamom died during the omnic crisis, since I feel like she would come up a lot more if she was actually around when her sons literally tried to murder each other. (It would also explain why Hanzo shoots the omnic in ‘Dragons’ even as he goes to some lengths to only incapacitate the other guards and why he thinks Numbani sucks, as well as adding a layer of ouch to Genji’s... robo-dysphoria.) Hanzo remembers her better than Genji does, since Genji would have been pretty young at that point.

- Hanzo is a dog person (oh hello there entire alternate wardrobe made up of wolf imagery) and Jesse is a cat person. (Both because of That Scene in The Good, The Bad and The Ugly with the kitten and the hat (!!!!!) and because really he himself is kind of a very affable yet still half-feral tomcat kind of a man)

- In ‘Scoundrels and Thieves’, at least, Jesse started out smoking cigarettes and graduated to cigars as he got older/had more cash, for that Authentic Man With No Name Look. He still goes for cigarettes sometimes when he’s on edge because he finds the little rituals of rolling them comforting. (Hanzo also has a very private Pavlovian reaction to the smell of a certain brand Jesse smoked around the time they started sleeping together. I’ll let you fill in the embarrassing details in your own time.)

- Hanzo usually cuts his own hair - just chops a bit off with a knife or something when it gets too annoying. The first time it was the dramatic symbolic gesture of dishonor ™, but these days it’s just because he can’t be bothered with anything fancier, in the same vein as ‘why even put my shirt on all the way btw did I mention I KILLED MY BROTHER’. (Yes, I know it’s a real traditional archery technique thing, just… let me have this.) Probably also why he wears it up most of the time so you can’t really tell it’s a bit of a catastrophe.

- Jesse taught himself how to play the guitar as a kid and has a wonderful voice for everyday life - it doesn’t belong on a stage but it is perfect for crooning in the background while making dinner or doing chores, stuff like that.  

- Jesse is quite ticklish, a fact Hanzo ‘Innate Talent for Strategy and Tactics’ Shimada uses without compunctions when it suits his goals. (His goals usually being a Jesse pink-faced and loose-limbed with laughter)

- Hanzo looks A LOT like his dad but takes after his mum personality-wise - more cynical and closed off except for with their loved ones - while Genji looks more like their mum.

- Jesse’s parents died during the war, quite early on. (tbh this is mostly b/c it breaks my heart to imagine his family would be okay with him having become a notorious killer by the age of seventeen. Like. Bro. I’d rather have someone love and protect him unflinchingly and then having no choice in leaving him. Though if the Deadlock gang had some element of a family business that would mean ANOTHER parallel between them, so if that’s how canon eventually lands I can work with that too ha ha)

- Do you ever think about Jesse at fourteen, coming back from a fight victorious but with new constellations of scars and bruises, curling up somewhere no one’ll find him to watch that scene in For A Fistful of Dollars where the man with no name gets beat up to hell and back and still gets out of it through sheer tenacity and being a tricksy fuck

Because I think about that every day and that’s why I’m constantly on the verge of tears

Anyway not so much a headcanon there as a window into the dark aching corners of my soul let’s carry on

- Jesse is demisexual, Hanzo is gay.

- At first I had settled for Hanzo being bi (what better orientation for a ninja than one that makes you invisible, after all? Who’s bitter you’re bitter) but then there were the White Day lines between Hanzo and Genji and now I’m 100% convinced that he’s gay, if only because it’s so much funnier to me. Let me show my work a bit here:

So as far as I understand, on Valentine’s day in Japan it’s women who give the ~*special men*~ in their life chocolates/gifts. (There’s also an uh ‘tier’ of chocolate that’s completely platonic and is given to friends and coworkers, but from the tone of Genji’s voice I doubt that’s what he’s talking about lol) White day is a month later, and it’s when the men reciprocate the gifts they were given. So essentially what Genji is doing with that line is going “SO… any special GIRLS in your life bro?? *I know you can’t see my face through the visor but you can feel the wink wink nudge nudge through the air*” and Hanzo’s answer is a sort of long-suffering reference to young Genji’s playboy lifestyle as well as a callback to a previous voice line between them, not a slight aimed at any cocoa beans.

Now I like to imagine bb!Genji as a bit of a hilarious dick - like basically sweet and well-meaning, but also hugely spoiled, self-absorbed and easily distracted. It would lend Hanzo’s annoyance so many levels of hilarity if his little brother just… hadn’t realized that the reason he wasn’t dating girls wasn’t just a) he’s been riding a wave of shame, guilt, grief, depression & light alcoholism these last ten years and it’s hard to date with a tight schedule like that, b) he is kind of weird and socially awkward at the best of times, c) his eventual anachronistic weirdo soulmate was running around on the other side of the world doing crazy shit for Overwatch

The reason he’s never dated any girls is that he’s FUCKING GAY

Like it was not as though it was secret, Genji, all you’d have to do was fucking pay attention or hey, ask at any point in the last closing-in-on-forty-years and it would have been EASILY AVAILABLE INFORMATION

FATHER KNEW AND HE NEVER NEEDED TO ASK,GENJI

Anyway I thrive on Hanzo Shimada’s annoyance and consternation because he takes everything so damn seriously and I love him very much

(Obviously in the ‘Scoundrels and Thieves’ ‘verse Genji does know. He’s not THAT massively oblivious.)

- Jesse is mostly ambidextrous but prefers to shoot with his right hand. I think there was some kerfuffle about his holster being put on both sides in official art that prompted this one? I’m not above going ‘*shrug* why have continuity errors when you can have headcanon’

- Shimadadad, intent on his sons not turning into Useless Rich Ninja Kids, made sure they were taught some essential life skills, like cooking and laundry and shit - meaning Hanzo knows how to make a handful of dishes to, like, double Michelin Star levels. He doesn’t actually enjoy it very much, though, so mostly he won’t. Meanwhile Jesse has no outside training whatsoever beyond at one point being shown how to turn on a microwave but figured things out on his own and has pretty good instincts. Hanzo prefers Jesse’s cooking and will happily just do chopping duty (which he’s still proficient at to the point that Jesse’s not sure whether to be unsettled or turned on).

- Jesse learned about horses from an older lady who semi-adopted him after finding him feverish and bleeding in her back garden when he was in his early teens. He stayed on her ranch for a couple of years and then left because he was worried some of the people he’d pissed off would be able to track him down there and burn it all down.

- Hanzo doesn’t like - or really get - giving and receiving gifts as a way to express affection. I’m pretty sure his line of association would go something like gifts ----> money ------> business -----> bribe -----> obligation -------> duty -------> faMILY OH GOD EVERYTHING JUST GOT REAL MESSED UP AND COMPLICATED IN MY HEAD I NEED A DRINK

- Another one where I’ll accept either outcome: I can’t decide from the in-game dialogue if Genji and McCree’s relationship is more bro-like ribbing or if they’re actually a little uh. Adversarial. (“You’re not quicker than a bullet”: a Schröedinger’s playful banter/death threat lol) If they’re mostly friendly that’s great! They can form a harmonious ‘Save Hanzo From Himself’ support group. If they’re more antagonistic? Pure. Fucking. Hilarity. Can you imagine Genji being SO FUCKING MAD because as it turns out the one thing in this world that has ever made his sadsack brother happy is that cocky jingle-jangle bizarro Western cosplay jackass. Like naturally I would prefer it if they were bros but I never turn down comedic potential like that.

- Jesse’s greatest fear has to do with being seen and with leaving. He’s very clearly set up a theatrical, elaborate part of his identity between himself and the world - I don’t think any psychologically unscarred person goes ‘well I’ll just wrap myself in this loner/vigilante archetype until it works for me’ lol. It’s a very smart ‘people are going to look at me so let’s make sure they can’t actually see me’ move. Also it makes me sad that me must have, like, reverse abandonment issues: every time he belongs to something - to the Deadlock gang, to Overwatch, to Hanzo in ‘Scoundrels and Thieves’ - he’s inevitably forced to leave it behind. (I guess this is part of why I love the pairing so much; they’re both wanderers now, they can go together ;____;)

Hanzo’s greatest fear is to really hurt someone he loves again. (Remember that time in Junkenstein’s Revenge where Jack looks at Reaper and goes ‘what could turn a man into this’ and Hanzo immediately answers “To be tested, and to fail”? Because I remember that all the time.)

[walkerbaby-blog]

Whamilton: stress baking but something burns and sets off the smoke detector

Not quite what you wanted but I think you might like George’s little dominance exertion here:

If the sound of heavy, pounding German electronica wasn’t enough to tell George that Alex was having a bad day the smell of baking in the air would have clued him in. Instead, the first thing he’d heard as he’d walked up the stairs to their townhouse was the Scooters blaring loudly. Which meant either Alexander had a shit day and there would be baked goods waiting for him, or his lover was watching MLS and the Philly Union had just scored a goal. 

Since it was December he didn’t think the Union’s chances were particularly good. 

As soon as he stepped through the door George breathed deeply, trying to determine just how bad the day had gone. 

Pie? A minor irritation with a client. 

Bread? Someone was being unreasonable. 

Chocolate chip cookies? Alexander was going to be slamming things and there were going to be frustrated tears at bedtime. 

George took a deep whiff and smelled chocolate with a subtle under layer of freshly mixed buttercream. 

Shit. He glanced behind him and wondered if he could make it back out the door without Alexander realizing he’d come home. Chocolate and buttercream meant only one thing— Defcon 1 as created by Thomas fucking Jefferson.

  “George?” Alexander called out from the kitchen. 

Damn it, his husband had heard him. There was no way back out the front door. No chance that he could text Alexander and say that he was working late and then hide at his office until 2 a.m. and then slip home and into bed beside his anger exhausted spouse. No way to enjoy the cupcake labors of Alexander’s rage without first dealing with the emotional fall out. 

Yes, George knew that this made him a coward and the worst sort of cad— one that enjoyed his husband’s rage filled culinary efforts without sharing the emotional burdens but, in his defense, his husband’s cupcakes had once made their neighbor— a damn French chef from France— weep tears of joy and whatever fight he’d had with Jefferson? George’s advice would be the same— he’s needling you, just let it go and don’t let him see it bother you— would just piss Alexander off. 

He’d tried dozens of times to explain it to Alexander. Thomas Jefferson was old, conservative and set in his ways. He hated change, immigrants and anything that smacked of liberalism. The fact that Alexander was West Indian, gay and the youngest partner in their law firm— and he’d managed to make partner with only Jefferson’s vote dissenting? That was going to piss Jefferson off and force him to retaliate in petty ways. The fact that Alexander was currently the highest billing partner, who had made their law firm nationally famous for taking on hard to defend pro bono cases and then winning? That was going to make those petty little retaliations both humiliating and public. 

That didn’t make them any less painful for Alexander to bare. 

“George is that you?” Alexander called out, more forcefully this time. 

George sighed. Time to face the firing squad so he could get his cupcakes. He set down the camel colored leather messenger bag that Alex had bought him for their fifth anniversary and slipped his coat off, hanging it on the hook by the door.

 “Hey Sweetheart,” he called out as he made his way into the kitchen. “Are you making cupcakes?” 

He stopped as he stared at the counter on their kitchen island. There had to be at least six dozen cupcakes laid out, two bags of buttercream icing sitting tip down in glasses next to them. Candied espresso beans in a small bowl waiting to adorn the top of the cupcakes. 

His husband stared at him, his long hair a messy bun on top of his head, cocoa powder dusting his cheekbones and a smear of tan buttercream icing— George suspected espresso flavor— smeared across the black apron with ‘check out my sweet buns’ embroidered on it in red that George had surprised him with when they bought the house. He could see Alex’s eyes were red rimmed. 

George reached over and hit mute on the kitchen speakers where Alex’s Iphone was docked. “Hard day at the office?” 

Instead of answering Alex simply stepped forward and wrapped his arms around George’s waist, burying his head in the front of George’s shirt. 

He wrapped his arms carefully around his husband, patting his shoulder and felt Alex’s shoulders heave as sobs finally broke through. 

Shit, worse than a petty humiliation then. 

“Oh sweetheart,” George crooned. “What did that bastard do?” 

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Alex muttered into his shirt and continued to sob. “It’s just…” 

“Come on sweetheart, let it out,” George patted his back. 

Alex sobbed again and then sniffed. His husband was definitely an ugly snot crier, which for some reason, George found all the more endearing. 

“Do you want me to go punch him in the jaw?” George asked, rubbing Alexander’s back, waiting for the other man to laugh. 

That was their routine. Alexander would rage, George would offer to do Jefferson some bodily harm, Alex would laugh and then they would go on about their evening. 

“Please,” Alex whispered and George froze. No laughs. No rolled eyes. No muttering about what a barbarian George was. This had to be bad. “Just… please… yes, go punch him in the face. You punch him and I’ll resign and we’ll sell the house and go somewhere where people aren’t huge, flaming syphilis infected dicks.” 

George felt his shoulders tighten as he began planning all the ways he could make Thomas Jefferson’s life hell. “What did he do?” 

“We had a partners meeting,” Alex whispered into George’s chest. “And it was my turn to choose the restaurant. So I talked to Lafayette and arranged for him to open Henriette for us for lunch.” 

“Nice.” George whistled. “What’s that going to cost you in favors?” 

“I’m his partner in the gingerbread house contest at the community center,” Alex whispered. “Sorry.” 

“Damn it Alex,” George huffed. “We’ve got a four year winning streak going with that contest and you throw me over to impress your partners with a fancy French chef? You should have tried bribing him with cookies instead.” 

His husband let out a soft giggle. “He hardlined at gingerbread houses.” 

“Fine. But you can forget naked Christmas tree time. I’m on sex strike until the New Year. Now, what did Jefferson do to ruin not just your lunch but my Christmas?” 

“He made a big deal of explaining the menu to me,” Alexander whispered. “Because obviously someone like me wouldn’t know what to order in a 5 star Michelin restaurant.” 

“Ass,” George muttered. “Did you order in French just to piss him off.” 

“No.” Alex shook his head against George’s shirt front. “Lafayette stepped in and tried to defend me. He told Jefferson that not only did I have a thorough knowledge of French food, I was an accomplished cook myself. In fact, if I ever decided to stop practicing law he’d happily hire me to run his kitchen. And Jefferson…” He sobbed again. 

“Jefferson…” George prompted. 

“He looked at me, with all the other partners watching and said ‘I’m not surprised. I’ve always suspected little Alex here was the wife.’ And I didn’t know what to say. Everyone just sat there and stared and it was just horrible. Finally Franklin cleared his throat and suggested we start the meeting with the intern applications.” 

“And no one said anything to Jefferson?” George asked, rage filling his chest. 

“No one.” Alex shook his head. “Not that I blame them. You could tell no one knew what to say. Everyone just sat there, staring at the table, not looking at each other. No one could even meet my eyes for the rest of the afternoon.” 

“Okay.” George rubbed his back. “You’re okay. Why don’t you go upstairs and run yourself a bath and—” 

“I’ve got cupcakes in the oven.” 

“I’ll get them out and set them aside to cool,” George answered. “You go run a bath and I’ll be up in just a few minutes with a glass of wine and I’ll wash your hair and we can just have cupcakes for dinner tonight. How does that sound?” 

Alex sniffled and nodded his head. “I love you.” 

“I love you too,” George whispered and pressed a kiss to his husband’s head. “And just so you know, I have never once thought of you as my wife.” 

Instead of answering Alex let go of George and slipped out of the kitchen, his head down and his shoulders still slumped. 

Once George was sure he was gone he reached into his pant’s pocket and pulled out his cellphone. He found Franklin in his contacts and put the phone to his ear. “Ben, it’s George Washington.” 

“Hey George,” Ben sounded nervous. “How are you? How’s Alexander?” 

“I’m fine,” George brushed the other man’s question about Alexander aside. “This is just a quick business call. You know that IPO you wanted to invest in? The Google backed thing?” 

“Yes…” Franklin’s voice sounded cautious. 

“Well, it seems like it’s oversubscribed. And I’ve talked to my partners and as much as we’d like to? Well we’re just not going to be able to squeeze you in for any shares.” 

“I…” 

“Same with that new pharmaceutical stock. ImGen? It’s oversubscribed as well.” 

“But…” 

“In fact,” George continued. “I think you’ll find all of our IPOs are going to be oversubscribed Ben. Every single one. Our practice? It’s just booming and we have so many investors wanting in that we’re just not going to be able to help you at this time.”

  “I see…” Ben’s voice was faint. 

“But don’t worry,” George continued. “Even though I’m busy, I’ve got a new guy on your account. Kid named Laurens. A legacy student just out of Wharton. He talks a bit slow but he’s good people. And he’s got all kinds of great new ideas on how to manage your account. And don’t worry, those rumors about how many times it took him to pass the Series exams? That’s just gossip. I mean who doesn’t get a little nervous the first three times they take the test?” 

“I…” 

“You have a good night now Ben,” George continued. “I hear my little wifey calling me to dinner.” 

He hung up just as the microwave timer beeped. 

He grabbed the oven mitts, pulled the cupcakes out and set them aside to cool before turning off the oven. There. Cooled cupcakes, Jefferson soon to be dealt with, and all he needed was a glass of wine to help set his husband’s mind back to rights.

[mayapinion]

Happy New Year + happy groceries

Evidently “suck a dick” were the exact words I spoke as we moved from 2018 to 2019. Jokingly, of course- and while squeezing lemons for the cocktails that my friends and I should have started making 20 minutes earlier. I hope this is emblematic of my year to come in only good ways. Let’s just say that from now on, I do what I want and what is in my best interest. This won’t always be easy or fun (hitting the books hard these days!), but it will mean a lot of personal growth that I’ve been sorely missing in years past. And to this, I will gladly toast. (Sidenote: I really love that I started the year already being behind on a task, but also being super chill and casual about it and not feeling anxious about not being on top of things. Sometimes there’s only so much you can do, and you just have to enjoy the present moment, like juicing lemons with two of your best girlfriends by your side while making up funny new years resolutions and talking Harry Potter.)

Meanwhile as I pretend that classes are not about to start, I’m thinking about food- namely sticking to my budget more tightly and prepping food for the upcoming quarter and those nights where dinner will hardly be my main concern. Most of all, I’m super excited to make a cocoa-spiced bean and lentil soup from Nik Sharma’s Season. I got this cookbook as a Christmas gift after dreaming about it for months, and still can’t contain my excitement over all the beautiful dishes and general warm fuzzies that it holds. Other recipes I am dying to try include his fennel and ginger-spiced granola, a caprese salad with tamarind dressing, and egg salad with toasted coriander. Hopefully at some point I will be able to try all of these and share my own spin on each! 

In the meantime, I’ll show you my last two grocery hauls, as I’m hoping to be more proactive about this. If for no other reason, it keeps me accountable in how I allocate my own budget. :) Please excuse the horrid photos taken with my overhead grad housing lighting and absolute lack of color correction. 

Last Week: 

Trader Joe’s

2% Milk - $1.29

Frozen mango - $2.99

Tofu - $1.99

Cara cara oranges (my favorite) - $3.99

3 grapefruits - $2.97

1 lemon - $0.49

2 bananas - $0.38

Total: $14.10 

Ralph’s 

3 kiwis - $1.74

4 avocados - $2.00*

Habañero jack cheese - ~$2.50

Cypress Grove Midnight Moon cheese - ~$3.00

Total: ~$9.24 

GRAND TOTAL: $23.34

This Week (plus some books that I couldn’t be bothered to move):

Trader Joe’s

Large cage-free eggs - $2.99

Arugula - $1.99

Spinach - $2.29

Dark chocolate almond toffee candy (bc I have no self control) - $1.49

Total: $8.76

Ralph’s 

2 containers Fage greek yogurt 2%, 35oz - $10.00*

Old fashioned oats, 42oz - $3.59

2 avocados - $1.00*

Cilantro bunch - $0.99

Green onions - $0.99

Cuties, 5lb box - $3.99*

Pink lady apple - like $0.75?

Total: ~$21.31 

GRAND TOTAL: $30.07

Additionally I may go to the farmer’s market tomorrow for some Bitchin’ Sauce. If you’re wondering how in god’s name I’ve managed to subsist on fruits and vegetables over the last two weeks, dumplings and ground turkey (read: scallion meatballs) from my freezer have been the name of the game. Surely that will change soon as my supplies are inevitably depleted. I could write more about decisions re: grocery shopping etc, but it’s time I get back to that paper I’ve been trying and failing to write over the past three weeks. :) 

-Mayapinion

[felixfelicies]

tag game whoop

i was tagged by @marrauder who is v aes and frankly im honored

rules: answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you want to get to know better.

nicknames: glai star sign: aries height: who knows. 5′4?? orientation: ace. it’s complicated because i havent really had the chance to ask around for help after some unpleasant experiences and rude awakenings but i swear i will fite anyone who says otherwise. ethnicity: filipino time right now: 11:42 pm last thing you googled: ‘old man cactus’ general bio II is a great subject but our teacher is a dick. fave music artist: ?? idk i listen to a lot of stuff and i dont really attach to them song stuck in my head: youth by daughter last movie i watched: storks last tv show i watched: the first season of ONCE. i needed a show that was more or less safe to show my conservative christian family. apparently I should have googled about mulan and red first hahahasaveme what i’m wearing right now: my Sunday Best™ blog created: i dont even know. i’ve cycled through more tumblr blogs than i care to remember.  number of followers: 600ish the kind of stuff i post: ???hp is always there, some musicals and stuff, but honestly i only ever come here when i have intense feelings for a particular thing. currently it’s fallen london. why did i choose my url: felix felicis is a pretty potion okay gender: f hogwarts house: yells hufflepuff/ravenclaw average hours of sleep: 4-5 lucky number: what’s luck? favourite characters: oh no remus neville and mcgonagall, singularity and peggy carter, enjolras and cosette, leonard mccoy, noah czerny, kala dandekar, a lot of people okay?? A LOT dream job: rich number of blankets i sleep with: fifteen or nothing favorite fruit: all fruit. except the slimy ones. favourite season: the only seasons here are hot or wet. wet is better because sweating 24/7 is horrid. favourite book: harry potter. don’t question this. don’t ever question this. favourite flower: cACTUS FLOWERS favourite scent: the smell of people. do i mean this in a cannibalistic sense or in a mushy, gross, “i love you and i love the specific scent you have” way? the world may never know. favourite colour: PURPLE AND GREEN. favourite animal: felines. kitties. catses. coffee, tea, or hot cocoa?: coffee. buy me coffee. bathe me in coffee. this is why i’m so bitter. cat or dog person?: KITTIES. KITTIES AND THEIR TOE BEANS AND LIL TONGUES AND THEIR AFFECTIONATE WAY OF WOUNDING YOU dream trip: unli cash and my whole family with me

i tag: please for the love of all good things if you wanna do the Thing just,,, do it. i’m tagging you. i wanna know but i don’t wanna pester people who might not wanna do it. except maybe these two @jabberw0cky and @darkchocolte because i already bother you a lot so what’s a lil more ;) (fronds u don’t have to do it tho)

[deviadorned]

What would [x] Wear? Prompt

I saw this on the Indiemakeupandmore community and when I came to a suggestion of “How about the leading man and woman in a Hallmark Christmas movie? And any of the other usual suspects (i.e. the fiance(e) that isn't a good fit)” I had to respond! My answers are below:

the fiance that isn't a good fit? His scent would be BPAL Connecting Flight: The distant scent of black coffee spiked with coffee liqueur and dusted with cinnamon. Safe, masc, family-approved but kind of a dick. Not coming home for Christmas.

The pushy, rather young chick the fiance cheated on her with at the office, but it meant nothing he swears: Deconstructing Eden Crush - Sticky red lollipops, pink orchids, tonka bean, spun sugar, a drop of vanilla on a base of white and gold ambers and smooth skin musk.

Leading Lady, too sweet and adorable to exist, she gives and gives and gives but finally grows a backbone: Poesie Tiny Phantom - innocent pink roses, marshmallow buttercream, pale white musk, antique mahogany. Has a serious job but tries not to lose her soul to it.

Fiance's BFF who's always had a thing for the Leading Lady and can't stand how she's weepily living a lie and spills the beans: Fyrinnae Arz Ar-Rabb - Soft, honey-thick benzoin resin, fresh-cut cedar wood, juniper wood, sandalwood, just a hint of smoke in the air, and the barest whiff of tart geranium.

LL's earthy hippie-ish lifelong BFF who always knows the right thing to say: The Strange South's Minimoon 2017 - Strawberry, fig, honey (vegan), tomato leaf, violet, and benzoin.

Leading Man who sweeps protag off her feet.. literally: Darling Clandestine Tapadero: Bold and bright sage and roses, dusky sweet smoke and leather. An offbeat but sweet country music producer from out of town, cousin of the BFF who she would never have looked twice at before.

LM's Old Flame who's totally not right for him and really not the enemy here but man, she shouldn't get into this mess: Solstice Scents Pumpkin Spice Latte - Sweet Pumpkin, Gingerbread Whipped Cream, Cinnamon and Nutmeg Essential Oil

LM's/BFF's adorable little niece who latches on to LL and sighs at the perfect match: Lou Lou's Cake & Cassia - cassia cinnamon, strawberry, cake, chocolate, sandalwood, patchouli, jasmine, amber, vanilla, and cocoa bean

Elegant, hard to impress but ultimately supportive Mother: Alkemia's Aeria - A delicate daydream of grapefruit blossom, piquant blueberries, Lily of the Valley, jasmine pearl tea, elegant floral aldehydes, and a whisper of Japanese musk

Demanding Dad: Sixteen92 They Can't All Be Winners - Tennessee whiskey, single malt Scotch, spiked cider, empty bottles, worn leather boots, spiced ale, tobacco, many years of therapy. Unfortunately LL has modeled her idea of a husband on a good ol' boy who's never around and doesn't have much that's nice to say. There's a good intention under there somewhere..

Comforting Granddad who sure as hell didn't raise him that way: Arcana Vestri: Cedar, snow, hay, dragonsblood resin, citron, patchouli, and 1 drop of earth.