#but in a way this post is about every single jonah ship

[thermodynamic-comedian]

big fan of the interpretation in ships that jonah magnus will not hesitate to kill someone they love, or to let someone they love die. it'll still hurt them, especially if they do it just to further the eye's agenda, but they will not hesitate. they'll only ever cry after people they've lost alone and ashamed, and they will not let their own affection for someone get in the way of their plan.

i tricked you into reading another janelias post this is just another janelias post

[luminouslywriting]

Chapter 1: Prologue of Mastermind

A/N: And we're off! Here's the prologue, so I hope you all enjoy it! I'll be posting chapter 2 next week :)

December 8th, 1941

Everyone would remember where they were when the news hit the radios.  When every single person in the United States came to a halt, stopping whatever work they were doing, whatever conversation they were having, and just sat and listened to President Franklin D. Roosevelt speak about the attack. 

Ruth Sharpe had just finished helping her parents with breakfast when the breaking news had hit the radio station.  “Sit down, Ruthie!” Her mother hissed, tugging on her arm.  But Ruth couldn’t bring herself to sit down.  So she just stood there, clutching at the kitchen sink as she listened to the horrific news. 

“Yesterday, December 7, 1941 a date which will live in infamy, the United States of America was suddenly and deliberately attacked by naval and air forces of the Empire of Japan.

The United States was at peace with that Nation and, at the solicitation of Japan, was still in conversation with its Government and its Emperor looking toward the maintenance of peace in the Pacific. Indeed, one hour after Japanese air squadrons had commenced bombing in the American Island of Oahu, the Japanese Ambassador to the United States and his colleague delivered to our Secretary of State a formal reply to a recent American message. And while this reply stated that it seemed useless to continue the existing diplomatic negotiations, it contained no threat or hint of war or of armed attack.” 

This was war—Ruth knew it in her bones.  Her mother had burst into tears as she sunk into a kitchen chair.  Her father sat solemn, eyes trained blankly on a wall.  It was war all over again, and he had already served and done his time. 

Everyone in the Sharpe home was silent.  Even Mary, Alice, and Sarah—all of whom frequently argued with one another about nylons or lipstick and having to share—they were all completely and deadly silent. 

“It will be recorded that the distance of Hawaii from Japan makes it obvious that the attack was deliberately planned many days or even weeks ago. During the intervening time the Japanese Government has deliberately sought to deceive the United States by false statements and expressions of hope for continued peace.” 

There would be no peace.  Ruth knew that.  They had watched the news-reports closely.  All of their family in Europe had already disappeared in the wake of the spreading Nazi agenda.  All of their cousins, all of their grandparents, there was no sign of them.  Their letters returned unopened and the horror had already struck the Sharpe family in deeply personal ways.  

But for Japan to attack?  That hadn’t been what Ruth was expecting. 

“The attack yesterday on the Hawaiian Islands has caused severe damage to American naval and military forces. I regret to tell you that very many American lives have been lost. In addition American ships have been reported torpedoed on the high seas between San Francisco and Honolulu.” 

Silence crackled in the home.  And Ruth watched as the next oldest sibling rose to his feet—Jonah was practically tearing towards the door.  “Where are you going?” Their mother spluttered out. 

He just locked a solemn gaze onto the rest of the family.  “There’s going to be a war.  I’m not going to sit here and wait to be drafted.” 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When war broke out in 1941, both Jonah and her younger brother John were old enough to enlist in the war.  John had just turned 18 in September and so it was no surprise when both of the boys took off to go and enlist.  It had damn near broken their mother’s heart, the thought of her boys going out and fighting in the war. 

As for their father?  He had been unnaturally quiet.  Thomas Sharpe had changed after fighting in the First World War.  Of course, he had been married when he went away and they had had Ruth quickly after—but Ruth remembered early childhood days when loud noises would make him retreat into her parents’ room, quiet tears and loud noises spilling from his mouth.  The quiet store-owner rarely raised his voice and tended to keep to himself. 

Ruth hadn’t known anything different her entire life.  But she thought, for just a moment, her father might have been angry about both Jonah and John signing up to fight in a war.  Her father hadn’t gotten mad though.  

He had started praying, silent tears streaming down his face when it was just their mother and Ruth around.  So when everyone gathered in churches and began praying for their sons and brothers, husbands and fathers—those who were going to fight, the entirety of the Sharpe family had shown up for the event. 

And they weren’t the only ones.  There were other families with boys who had decided to go off and fight.  And as some sort of last hurrah—one of the oldest members of the synagogue had invited a large gathering of people with sons going off to fight to his home.  

Truth be told, Ruth found the entire thing just sad .  Boys who would have to go and kill and become something that they didn’t want to be in order to stop a monstrosity.  In order to defend and protect their families and their homes and their beliefs in God.  But it had to be done.  She felt it like some sort of righteous ancestral fury rising up in her bones.  Because it wasn’t just their fight, it was her fight too.  

It was almost too joyful here, in this home.  Not when Ruth knew that most of these boys would likely not come home.  Not when she knew that it was going to be horrific.  War was merciless and some oncoming storm that they were wholly unprepared for. 

She slipped out of the party, coming to a stop on the fire escape and pulling a cigarette from her bag.  It was a poor habit and one that her parents were unaware that she had developed since entering Brooklyn Law.  But a girl had to de-stress somehow and she wasn’t about to start sleeping around to get her relaxation. 

Watching the streets of Brooklyn, Ruth wasn’t quite sure what to make of things.  The world had inherently and chemically changed on a cellular level.  But on the surface, everything looked exactly the same.  Snow was still falling in the December air and people were still chaotically driving in the streets below.  But inside homes across the country, mothers were weeping and families were saying goodbye in so many different ways. 

Something sounded in the window behind her and Ruth glanced, an annoyed expression crossing her features as she caught sight of Rosenthal climbing out.  “Oh—I uh—I didn’t know anyone was out here,” Rosenthal apologized, glancing back at the party. 

He was seriously considering just risking his life by standing here in the presence of Ruth Sharpe.  It was better than the party, even if it somehow ended in his unfortunate murder. 

Ruth removed her cigarette from her lips, staring him down.  “It’s better than in there.  It’s just loud.” 

“Yeah.” Robert rocked on the backs of his heels, gaze washing over his classmate with a frown.  “When did you start smoking?” 

“Freshman year.  You want one?” Ruth questioned, offering a cigarette in his direction.  He just stared suspiciously at the cigarette.  “I didn’t poison it, you nitwit.” 

“Ouch, rude,” Robert snatched the cigarette from her hands, shaking his head at her.  ��I guess I also shouldn’t tell your ma’ that you were bein’ rude?” 

“Probably not,” Ruth retorted.  Her gaze trained back on the city and the twinkling lights that were still as bright as they were in the daylight.  “I take it that you’re signing up, too?” 

“Yeah, yeah I am.  I’m hopin’ for the air force.” 

“Hm,” Ruth mused.  “Well that’s a damn shame, Rosenthal.  Who am I going to compete with in cases now?” 

Robby Rosenthal gave a light laugh, shaking his head at her.  “I’m sure you’ll find someone to disagree with. You’re the most argumentative person that I know.” 

“Oh I’m aware.  And if you can handle me, then you’ll be able to handle whatever those Japs or Germans throw at you,” Ruth insisted pointedly.  “Consider it the real part of training.” 

“Blessings in disguise, I guess,” Robby said, leaning against the bricked apartment wall behind him.  “Your brothers sign up too?” 

“Both Jonah and John,” Ruth said in a slightly bitter tone.  “Abe would if he was old enough, but seeing as how he’s turning 14, I don’t think that’ll pass.” 

“He and Daniel have the same idea.  Everyone wants to get in on it,” Robert mused.  His younger brother Daniel also wanted to participate in the war effort, but he was only 16.  He still had a good two years to go before he’d be able to even sign up.  

“Risa will miss you,” Ruth said quietly.  

“She’s a tough kid. She’ll be okay,” Robert murmured.  “So I take it you’re going to prosecute the hell out of people here?” He shifted his gaze back onto the abnormally friendly Ruth— Ruth was never nice, that was just a fact .  It was a miracle they were speaking in level tones at the moment, honestly. 

“Not a chance, Robby,” Ruth said in a pointed tone.  “I’m thinking of going JAG-Corp.” 

“How are you gonna get your ma’ to sign off on that?” 

“I won’t tell her,” Ruth murmured.  “Same way you didn’t tell your folks about losing the highest grades to me this past year.” 

A small smile crossed Robby’s face.  “If you’re gonna prosecute and help in the war, then you give them hell, alright?” 

“Only if you do the same,” Ruth insisted.  “I need someone to compete with when this war is over, you know.” 

“Yeah, yeah,” Robby glanced back inside.  “I better go before someone spots us together outside.  Last thing we want is rumors spiraling.” 

“That was your fault,” Ruth said pointedly.  “Last year, I mean.” 

“Sure it was.” The two of them had been caught in an intense argument about ethics by their mothers, who had a sewing circle—and their mothers had assumed it was a lovers’ quarrel, which couldn’t have been further from the truth, quite honestly. They had both blamed the other person for the supposed rumors and it hadn’t been much fun trying to detangle themselves from such a thing. 

“Who knows? Maybe you’ll find someone who will actually tolerate you, Rosenthal,” Ruth snarked.  

“And maybe you’ll actually figure out how to navigate a relationship.” 

“The day pigs fly,” Ruth gave a mock-salute, rolling her eyes at him.  “Now go on, be a good little boy and stamp out your cigarette.” 

Robby’s jaw ticked as he stared her down.  “You’re gonna get some poor schmuck killed one day, you know that?  And maybe he’d be better off.” 

She placed a hand over her heart.  “Tender, truly.  Well if I were your wife, I’d drink poison.” 

“The feeling’s mutual, sweetheart.” 

And with that, Robby Rosenthal disappeared back inside the window—leaving Ruth sitting out there on the fire escape and wondering how the hell she was going to get herself into the JAG-Corp.

[chaotictarlos]

[redacted]

ship: Tarlos | fandom: 911 Lone Star | author: chaotictarlos | read on ao3

Rating: explicit| Warnings / Tags: m x m smut, use of sex toys, spanking, spanking via a belt, use of a vibrator, bondage, some degrading language used

Summary: TK posts a picture that certainly gets Carlos' attention.

Author's Note: This fic took entirely too long to write, but that happens sometimes. What started out as me being silly (and a little parnoid to share parts of this fic because I was having issues with someone copying my ideas) and using [redacted] in place of names when posting sneak peaks of this turned into my actually titling it that. I had a lot of fun with this fic. Thank you to @paperstorm , @thebumblecee , @mooshkat , @cowlos-reyes , and @detective-giggles for allowing me to scream about this fic to no end. Thank you to @meditating-honey-badger for being the best beta.

And thank you to my lovely friend in the TWP Discord who are always so encouraging and wonderful. This fic would be nowhere without you guys.

set in the same universe as my slutty carlos fics We can get a little crazy just for fun

---

Carlos has the day off so he decides that he’s going to spend it visiting with his sisters and their children. It’s been a few weeks since he’s last seen them - busy with work, attending galas, and keeping up with TK - so he wants to take advantage of the day off while TK has to work. They try to get their days off to line up so they can spend time together without being tired from work, but there are always a few days during the month when things don’t align perfectly.

They don’t mind though, they use those days to do things they might not do when they’re off together. Sometimes TK attends meetings or spends the day on Facetime with Jonah - virtually going to museums and other places - and Carlos usually spends the time with his family or any of the dozen errands he never seems to have time to catch up on.

On this day he met up with his sisters and their families at one of the local restaurants for breakfast and then Carlos tagged along with them to the aquarium for the afternoon - thankfully not the zoo because last time his nieces and nephews made him go through the reptile exhibit and Carlos had hated it. Fish were much safer to look at and there was no chance of seeing a lizard.

They’re on their way to the dolphin show when his phone chimes with TK’s text tone. He digs through his pocket for his phone and gets it out, pulling the preview down to look at it. It’s a picture, and Carlos is almost certain it’s probably something he shouldn’t be looking at in public. He makes an excuse, dips into the nearest restroom, and opens the text.

His mouth goes dry as the picture loads. It’s obscene and unsafe to look at in the aquarium, but he can’t help it. His body heats up, cock twitching in his jeans and he’s filled with want that just keeps growing the longer he looks at it. TK is in the shower, sitting on the floor, and the glass door is steamy - probably due to TK trying to make a faux sauna in their bathroom. He has one leg bent at the knee, the other crossed on the floor in a position that makes him very open and if it wasn’t for the towel artfully draped across his middle Carlos would be able to see everything.

Carlos spends entirely too long looking at the picture, taking in every single detail, and committing it to memory. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to finish the day with his family with that image burned into his brain. It takes all his self-control and willpower to pull his eyes from the photo and type out a message to TK.

READ MORE ON AO3

tag list (you can always ask to be added or removed) @strangefurychaos @sapphire11 @first-kanaphan @noxsoulmate @rangergurlgleek1211 @detective-giggles @tarlos-spain @lonestardust @bubblesandroses8 @thebumblecee @mooshkat @importantbailiffpaperpony @cowlos-reyes @meditating-honey-badger @paperstorm @otter-love-asl @kiloskywalker @angeltk @firstprince-history-huh @brouill3r

[echoes-lighthouse]

Content and Tags

Hello! Welcome to a run-down of the content on my blog and how to block anything that you don’t want to see. I do my best to tag triggering material but please let me know if you would like anything additional tagged: I won’t ask you for any explanation or justification, although I may create my own tags for you to block.

Generally, I suggest that minors block #nsft and #minors dni: I will block minors who interact with nsfw content on my blog, but it’s not the focus of my selfships, so I just tag it if it comes up. 

You may also want to block #nsft mention, #kink mention, and #suggestive: those are the kind of T/M rated content things that aren’t fully explicit. 

I do post age regression content on this blog, related to several of my f/os, so you can block the #agere tag if you want that off your dash! You might also want to block #my ghost boy and #my gamer boy, where those themes are heaviest. 

Selfship-Specific:

Because some of my selfships have dark themes, here is a list of the ones that you may want to block if you have any triggers around their main themes, as I won’t always tag them with content warnings if it’s a main part of that selfship. 

Tate Langdon (#my ghost boy): unhealthy power dynamics, age gap (he died at 17 and has been a ghost for ~10 years), family death, Tate’s history of abuse from his mother 

Himiko Toga (#bestie hours): blood drinking, knives and teeth to draw blood in a vampire-esque way, yandere tropes appropriate to the canon character, a League of Villains polycule that includes characters from 17-32 

Alex Delarge (#clockwork siblings): canon-typical sexual assault, violence, and drug use, ambiguously toxic/codependent sibling relationship, coerced sexual favours (for Alex’s droogs) 

The Joker (#the lover who laughs): age gap with my s/i being underage, violence, stockholm syndrome

Dirk Strider (#heart of hearts): manipulation, blackrom-typical violence 

Jonah Magnus (#eyes on you): manipulation, toxic relationship, power dynamics, body horror and general horror themes 

Valentino and Vox (#digital poison): canon-typical voyeurism, stalking, sexual coercion, mentions/threats of sexual assault, manipulation, power games, a veritable host of kinks including bloodplay, painplay, bondage, etc. 

I have one F/O (Toshinori) who is police-adjacent and one F/O who is a problematic school shooter stereotype (Tate). Vox and Valentino literally have an empire based on coercion and violence. I am aware of their place in their original media as problematic, but don’t acknowledge it in every single post about them. I am also aware of Alex, Brahms, The Joker, and Michael as being symbols of rape/assault to different degrees and I have complicated feelings about their symbolism in that space that I’m probably not going to deal with on this blog. 

Tagging Systems For Reblogs:

I do my best to tag fandoms as #source: [fandom] but occasionally will tag with #source: unfamiliar if I don’t recognize the source, so if there’s a lot of sources you want to avoid, you can block to be safe!

I tag all my selfship reblogs with #others f/os: [name], so if you have an f/o you don’t like seeing others selfship with, block that tag with the relevant names inserted!

I currently tag for #bugs, #clowns, #blades, #religion/#religious imagery, and #blood, and do my best to remember to tag #food.

Lastly, I do occasionally participate in shipping discourse, so all of that content is under #discourse or #shipping discourse, so feel free to block both!

[nonbinaryeye]

Yes, @trustworthy-liar​ and I have plenty of headcannons regarding all the lives of Jonah Magnus.

Continuation of THIS POST.

Jonah Magnus

Charming young man who has one day appeared in the society and acted like he always belonged there. He doesn’t like talking about his past.

When he was young he read all books in a family library. After arriving to London he was very surprised by how much he still doesn’t know.

Met Barnabass Bennet for the first time when the young man was travelling through Scotland.

Barnabass later intorduced him to all his acquaintances in the high society such as Robert Smirke and all the others.

Very easily forgets himself in his studies and research especially when there's no one around to drag him away and force him to eat and sleep.

Still genuenly cared about his peers but unfortunately he cared about a knowledge a bit more.

Infamous member of many gentlemen clubs.

Dissapeared at age 83. His body was never found. There are rumors his ghost still wanders through the halls of the Magnus insitute.

(years mark the time Jonah’s conciousnes was inhabiting the body - who would guess that it correspond with time as the Head of the institute as well)

William Bennett

Young, pretty, had decent amount of money and fascinated by all the wierd and obscure things. He was naturally very intriqued when Jonah Magnus offered him a private tour through the artifacts...

Jonah took over William Bennett at age 21. Feeling sour after unsuccesful ritual he decided to enjoy the decadence.

Met with Mordechai once. Lets say Mordechai was not amused by Jonah figuring some way to live longer. And also by the name of the person he chose.

Accidentally got adicted to opium. Jonah didn’t realized till he skipped bodies becuase he was sure he could stop anytime he wanted.

The only time Jonah travelled out of England - to the world expo in Paris in 1989 (“oh it will be probably lame not as cool as ours”). He realized he did not get over his seasickness and fear of ocean by skipping a body way too late.

He met his death at age 47 becuase he got plenty of enemies and also there started to be several rumors about him. Also the opium addiction. Overall Jonah did not treat this body very well - yes, bodies are disposable but he is still living in them...

Jonah made the death look like a murder and framed one of his enemies for it.

Edward Lyon

Edward was boring looking librarian of the Magnus Institute who cared more about books than he cared about people

Body snatched at age of 34

Everyone wrote off Edward’s sudden change of personality as power getting into his head

Jonah establisehed closer relantionship with the Lukas family again - through the dullest person ever, Thomas Lukas

Went back to meticulously researching the rituals and haven’t stopped since 

Died at the age of 64, written off as a heart attact (but for real Jonah just wanted to enjoy 1920′s as a young man)

Augustus Moore

Served in the WWI and after it ended he´was seeking a new life in London and decided to give a statement to the Magnus Institute where he caught the eye of the Head of the institute who offered him a job in the artifact storage

Jonah was jeallous of Augustus being young and having fun so he took over his body at 28 even though he previously planned to wait a bit longer

Around year 1929 he shortly reconnected with Thomas Lukas (who never figured out that he is the same person as Edward or Jonah Magnus - no matter how many not even subtle hints he was giving him)

Spent most of the WW2 hidden in the tunnels scared for his life institute (”Did I miss a Slaughter ritual?”)

During the great fog in 1952 got scared that there was succesfull Lonely ritual

Because there was way too many fog problems in London he decided to skip bodies in 1965 just to be prepared if there was really some ritual

Died at age 65 in a fire, absolutely unrelated to the conflict Jonah was having with the cult of the lightless flame at the moment

Richard Mendelson

Worked in the Library, double faced, acted nice to everyone but behind their back tried to discredit them to make himself look better

At last he got his promotion (to Head of the institute) at age 33

To Jonah’s dismay Mendelson turned out to be lactose intolerant (no cakes for Jonah :(  )

This time he did not come to Lukas but Lukas came to him and boy was he disapointed, Nancy Lukas turned out to be real pain in the ass

Made a wagger with Nancy wether woman can be the Archivist and survive at least 10 years on such position (almost no archivist actually did) - unfortunatley the chosen Archivist was no one else but Gertrude Robinson herself

Unfortunately met his end at age of 47 in a car crash (because Jonah really wanted an icecream and cheese without consequences)

This only fed the rummors about the position of the head of the institute being cursed by Jonah Magnus himself (technically they were not wrong...)

James Wright

Filling clerk at the research department, unhappy, divorced and lonely man with past alcohol adiction problems

Body snatched at age 45, Jonah wanted much younger body of a man who he thouht was named Robert, turns out his name really was just “Bob” and he coudn’t have that

Turned out James had kids, one of them tried to reconect with their absent fater. Jonah was not very happy about it.

In 1989 met with Peter Lukas

Since he couldn’t have alcohol, he wanted to try opium again (moderately this time) and was shocked that it was illegal, so he turned to smoking and cake

Staged his death at age 68 as a suicide

Elias Bouchard

Worked at the artifact storrage

Jonah took his body sooner than previously planned because Elias wanted to get some horrendous tattoo

Jonah threw away all his clothes...but he kept the funny weed socks

Til his end in the Spiral Michael Shelley never figured out why his friend started to act so weirdly (Jonah had it as his side hobby to induce the paranoia in him by acting like the good old Elias to him from time to time)

Peter was very much not amused by this little stunt of Jonah Magnus

Stabbed by his Archivist to death while he was crying like a little bitch he is

𝙁𝙚𝙬 𝙢𝙚𝙢𝙗𝙚𝙧𝙨 𝙤𝙛 𝙇𝙪𝙠𝙖𝙨 𝙛𝙖𝙢𝙞𝙡𝙮 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙝𝙖𝙙 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙛𝙤𝙧𝙩𝙪𝙣𝙚 𝙤𝙛 𝙞𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙩𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙅𝙤𝙣𝙖𝙝 𝙈𝙖𝙜𝙣𝙪𝙨

Mordechai Lukas

Already quite rich and well etabilished in the society

Owns a shipping company, which is later the only reason why he still interacts with people

Met with Jonah on gentleman business meeting, they were introduced to each other by Barnabas on Jonah’s demand

To Jonah’s disgust he got married when he was in his early forties

Around 1830s decided to disappear from the society completely only getting ocasionally annoyed by Jonah

After meeting William Bennett he decided that one lifetime with Jonah was enough and dissapeared into the Lonely forever (as you do)

Thomas Lukas

Mordechai’s possible grandson/grandnephew

Rising child lonely at it’s peak

Already married and with few kids when he met Edward. He heard that cheating partner makes one feel very lonely...

Unlike the other lonely avatars Jonah ever encountered this one was trully indifferent towards anything, driving Jonah mad by rarely showing any reaction

Had a brief relationship with both Edward and Augustus however never caught Jonah’s hints who he really is and just assumed that these eyevatars are all kinda the same

Nancy Lukas

The great pain in Mendelson’s ass

Neither impressed nor charmed by him

Regularly calls him out on his bullshit (sexism)

Lonely feminist - believes that independce for women will make everyone more lonely so she supports it

Calls Mendelson “Dick” because that’s indeed short version of Richard

Slightly intriqued by Gertrude Robinson (what a beautiful loneliness right there)

Peter Lukas

First Lukas after Mordechai who really intrigued Jonah

Originally started an affair with Wright because he thought it nice and lonely to be with someone old, who will soon die (boy was he surprised)

Except the train documentaries his guilty pleasure are also romantic movies with tragic ending (Titanic my beloved)

Actually figured it out on his own who Jonah Magnus is(because of course he wanted to play this game again with this fresh new Lukas)

Anyway both @trustworthy-liar​ and I still have plenty of headcannons about Jonah and all of his bodies (especially the oc ones) so you can probably expect more detailed posts with thorough biography of every single one of them in the future.

Just to be clear most of the dates as well as all the funfacts are really just our made up headcannons. We didn’t bother writing here some of the cannon events but they are marked on the  well-arranged timeline.

[pensivetense]

A List Of (Mostly TMA) Fic Recs Sorted By Vibe

Not an exhaustive list by any means, just a few favourites that caught my fancy. I shortened many of the summaries for space.

I’m going to pin this here and update it as I go.

Also, I’m pensivetense on ao3

MELANCHOLY VIBES

for when you want to feel comfortably muted

(sad but not utterly bleak endings here)

Hope, Etc. (Dickenson, et al.) by yellow_caballero

Jonathan Sims, six months after the Unknowing, wakes to find himself without a daemon - without humanity, without a soul. It’s a cursed half-life, but existence as a shell without a heart isn’t so bad: between solving the mystery of a persistent illusion cast over his friends and some light pseudo-cannibalism, a life as a monster is better than no life at all. At least, it would be, if it wasn’t for the fucking Owl.

A freaking. Amazing. Daemon au. Ties the lore of Dust with TMA lore very satisfyingly, but is mostly about Jon navigating what it means to be human, or, in the absence of that, a person, and doesn’t require prior knowledge of His Dark Materials. Cannot recommend highly enough.

after one long season of waiting by nuinuijiaojiao

Annabelle is not used to having nice things. or, Annabelle heads to Upton House, muses a little, and gets some well-deserved rest

I love survivalist Annabelle and also the concept of the Web as kind of a horrible Patron, actually.

i love you. I want us both to eat well. by SmallishWormMasterOfTheUniverse

At the safehouse with Martin, Jon decides it's time to quit statements once and for all. The Eye disagrees. Martin just needs Jon to be okay. It's quite possible that nobody is going to get what they want.

Scottish Safehouse Era, Jon and Martin coping with their respective Entities... really, really good.

the friend by doomcountry

He always greets a new spider when he meets it. It’s instinct, born in childhood, the same way he instinctively counts magpies, or flicks salt over his left shoulder. A little harmless superstition. A bit of politesse.

A great Martin character study with eldritch spider horror included. The imagery regularly haunts me (in a good way).

autumn’s rare gift by bee_bro

Annually, the two meet, renewing the binding ritual where it had all started. The procedure simple: a waltz.

Singlehandedly made me ship Gertrude/Agnes so there’s that. It’s so bittersweet and bee_bro’s writing is, as always, incredibly poetic. (I’d recommend everything they write, actually.)

smile, you’re trending by Goodluckdetective

During an encounter with another Avatar of the Eye, Jon faces his past, Martin takes a turn at playing Kill Bill and Basira has a second look at the monster she’s determined to see. For three people associated with the Eye, they could all use some perspective.

Features an original Eye Avatar character who’s a YouTube personality; she is infuriating and inspired and genuinely frightening and I cannot say enough good things.

Humility by The_Lionheart

have you no idea that you're in deep?/i've dreamt about you nearly every night this week,/how many secrets can you keep?

An OC centric story but don’t let that put you off, it’s amazing. Very heavily focused around Jonah Magnus and the other Avatars as they change through the years. Also, I’d die for the OC.

oh, for one sweet second without the eye series by faedemon

Beholding does not like in the way humans do, but it likes its Archivist all the same.

I’m just so fond of the way this is done stylistically. I have a great weakness for dialogue only/dialogue heavy writing, not to mention all of the wonderful character beats and interplay of humanity/inhumanity for Jon and Melanie.

Rewind by WhyNotFly

It takes eight days of forced confinement for Jon to start hallucinating. [...] It’s Martin, though, that his exhausted brain conjures, because of course it’s Martin. After all this time, of course it’s Martin.

Jon willingly allows himself to be confined rather than hunting for statements, and examines his relationship with Martin.

for a firmament series by supaslim

There is beauty in destruction. There is art in becoming. In which Jon becomes the Archive, and the Archive becomes Jon.

Part two posted this morning and uhhh. Good. Also if you’re here for weird eldritch body horror (I am), this one’s for you.

ONES THAT JUST HURT

for when you want to feel sad

(somewhat bleaker endings here/everyone is NOT okay)

Feste by yellow_caballero

If asked, Martin would say that he became the shadow director of the Magnus Institute by accident. But nobody ever asked, and nobody ever cared, and it was in this way that Martin stopped lying to himself. Or: break free, Martin. All you have to lose are your chains. And your sanity.

Oh, this one totally didn’t go the way I expected it to. A study in isolation. Could go into the category above, as the ending is not bleak, but the tone of the whole is somewhat more depressing than most there.

Ghosts of Love by RavenXavier

Nothing made Martin more grounded in the world than yearning for Jonathan Sims.

Lonely!Martin that really captures a sort of visceral ache. Hurts me and yet I keep rereading.

i do desire (we may be better strangers) by godbewithyouihavedone

For ages, it only knew how to worship, taking human bodies and living off the fear of those who remembered. It never knew love until it became Jonathan Sims. Now it must fight against every instinct to save Martin Blackwood. Archivist Sasha, Not!Jon/Martin, and the worst kind of Fake Dating AU.

Oh, this one just made me sad. The poor not!them, which is something I never thought I’d say.

Apple Of Your Eye by fakeCRfan

In which the Eye is fond of Martin. Perhaps a little too fond for comfort.

Somehow manages to be both sweet and horrifying—the characterisation of the Eye is incredible. ‘The Eye loves Martin’ is a scenario that’s so utterly doomed to failure and yet the writing is packed with so much pathos that I just want them all to be happy. A fantastic use of themes of agency and choice, and the single best use of Beholding as a source of horror I’ve read.

The Last Press by copperbadge

Jon Sims is awake, and has begun preparations for the Rite of the Watcher's Crown. Peter Lukas, who woke him, would be content to rule at his side. Martin is very upset about all of this, and the Lukases aren't thrilled with it either.

I really can’t say anything without spoiling the end and it’s so good. An alternate take on the Watcher’s Crown. Not a pairing that I ever thought would work for me, but this made it work.

watch the blood evaporate by 75hearts

It starts, like so many things in Jon’s life have started, with a nagging itch of curiosity. Jonathan Sims uses his healing abilities throughout s4. Read the tags.

Dear God please read the tags. But this is some high quality pain if it’s for you.

the lighthouse series by low_fi

Peter Lukas is a lighthouse keeper. One evening, he gets a call from a cryptic overseer tasked with monitoring his work.

This is such a vivid and yet subtle story—from the setting to the emotions portrayed, it creeps up on you slowly. The ending was like the gentlest possible gut-punch. The sequel just completed, and yeah, just as wonderful. This one is very much LonelyEyes but I listed it here because it is just exquisitely painful.

SATISFYINGLY HOPEFUL VIBES

for when you want to feel cozy

Clutching Daffodils by Gemi

Martin has always liked the idea of love at first sight. It’s such a romantic idea, the whole thing of it. Seeing someone and instantly feeling that strange, twisting feeling deep inside that every single media likes to obsess over. Of knowing you are in love within the day, petals falling from your mouth and warmth filling your chest as love burrows deep, vines twisting through your lungs. He always liked the idea of it. And then Jonathan Sims starts working at the Magnus Institute.

Somehow manages to be lighter and fluffier than most hanahaki fare, despite the setting. I’ve reread this one a lot.

the least he could do by Prim_the_Amazing

Martin should in fact not pick this man, specifically because of how attracted he is to him. It would be the responsible thing to do. Except he’s already following him. And he’s hungry.

Fluffy vampire au which everyone’s probably already read, but was too good not to mention.

rather interesting by bee_bro

Jonah Magnus realizes that, for some reason, when he comes in contact with weed, Elias Bouchard's consciousness will come into his life banging pots and pans.

Oh boy. So these are all favourite fics but this one is a favourite amongst favourites. The way Jonah is characterised (i.e. incredibly sensitive to scrutiny) is my favourite depiction of him, and the slow-burn between him and Elias is far sweeter than it has any right to be. Also, it’s hilarious.

The Magnus Records series by ErinsWorks

In a world parallel to that of the Archives and the Institute, a supernatural sanctuary stands against a cruel and uncaring world: A world of bureaucracy and tyranny, of murder and carnage, of loneliness and surveillence, of plague and death. But in this world of fear and misery, 14 entities born of the hopes of the world have emerged. And one of them has made their home here, at The Magnus Sanctuary. Perhaps, the employees within may lead happier lives than their counterparts did in the Archives.

This is just so goddamn pure. The author writes a really imaginative, fleshed-out alternate world and alternate Entities with engaging, well-written short statements. All of the character voices are absolutely on point, and it’s overall absurdly hopeful without ever feeling overly saccharine. I love this series so much, you guys, you don’t even know. I want to print it out and paste it on my wall. I love it.

HARD APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel dark and angsty (and eldritch)

Most of these are shorts/oneshots because it’s just that kind of genre, y’know?

Ashes to Ashes by marrowbones

A conversation at the end of the world.

Oliver Banks is one of those minor characters that I am overly attached to. Love him here.

Employee Benefits by equals_eleven_thirds

The Magnus Institute offered some normal employee benefits: a pension plan, holidays, travel subsidies, free lunch on the last Friday of each month. Rosie makes it work.

This manages to hit that perfect sweet spot of satisfying and hilarious. Rosie gets to torment Elias, as she well deserves.

a rose by any other name by Duck_Life

Part of Jon blooms in Jared Hopworth’s garden.

This one was sad and honestly too gentle to really belong in this category, but I love it.

Eye to Eye by Dribbledscribbles

In which Jonah Magnus attempts a post-apocalyptic pep talk.

Unreliable narrator at its finest, and the implications are suitably horrific.

commensalis by doomcountry

The tower is endlessly, impossibly tall, but Jon’s work is taller.

If you’re here for the eldritch imagery, then this has some of the best.

SOFT APOCALYPSE

for when you want to feel gently triumphant

apocalypse how series by sunshine_states

Humanity adjusts. The Entities have Regrets.

Some nice vignettes set in a kinder apocalypse.

ceylon series by Sciosa

The one in which Jonathan Sims decides that no, actually, he isn't going to let the world just end.

I include this only for the sake on completeness, as everyone has no doubt already read it.

rituals by doomcountry

Martin is the first person to knock on the Archivist's door since it arrived, fully, into its little waiting temple. The Archivist saw him coming from down the hall, but decides to feign interest when the knob turns, and Martin—still a little bit smaller, a little more translucent than before—stands uncertainly just outside the room.

This one’s a little less focused on the world at large and more on JonMartin specifically.

we raise it up by savrenim

Jonathan Sims reads a book and saves the world; although maybe the real salvation is the friends he makes along the way; (although perhaps the world itself and the darkness that exists behind it isn't quite as out to get everyone as it seems).

More ‘soft revolution’ than ‘soft apocalypse’, but has the same vibe. A time travel fix-it. Incomplete but worth it if this is a mood that appeals to you.

Scarred Ground by DictionaryWrites

“You see," Elias said softly, "people always have this idea that only living things can be scarred - and they're right, of course. But a building is a living thing, Martin. And the ground can be scarred, too." "I don't have any scars," Martin said. "Yes, you do," Elias said. "You just need the right light to see them.”

Falls somewhere between ‘Apocalypse’ and ‘Soft Apocalyse’ but I’m putting it here because I feel like it. Also technically a LonelyEyes fic. I found it hard to follow at first but it’s worth sticking with; things will eventually begin to make sense and come together.

LONELYEYES

for when you want to feel lonelyeyes

marrying anguish with one last wish by procrastinatingbookworm

In which Elias isn't Orpheus, and Peter isn't Eurydice, but Elias brings Peter home anyway.

Lives in my head rent free forever. My favourite lonelyeyes fic.

ouroboros by Wildehack

“You know,” Jonah says, a muscle in his calf quivering agreeably where it’s slung over Mordechai’s shoulder, “it’s really quite--fortunate--that I don’t care for you at all.”

Oh, this one hurts in the best possible way. The endless cycle of their relationship, the way it comes full-circle... yeah, good. Actually, no, this one might be my favourite. It’s a tie.

Breaking all the Rules by Thedupshadove

Elias proposes a somewhat...unusual wager.

Soft lonelyeyes? In my recs? It’s more likely than you think. Short, sweet, and... sweet.

Threefold by Sprinkledeath

Peter Lukas breaks three rules.

I’m just a slut for mythology allusions I guess.

Luck Be A Lady Tonight by prodigy

In 2014, Elias Bouchard takes a rare trip outside of his comfort zone. Peter Lukas wastes a bunch of money. You'd be surprised how many things can go wrong for two beings of cosmic power.

I love the sense of the history of them you get while reading this.

love is just a word (the idea seems absurd) by kaneklutz

"Something's wrong. It's stopped hurting" An avatar of the Lonely and an avatar of the Beholding walk into a bar relationship. It was bound to blow up in their faces.

Short, sweet, painful. Excellent exploration of their priorities.

Victor by penguistifical

elias tries something with his powers that he hasn't attempted before

The one where Elias tries to raise the dead. Not incredibly LonelyEyes centric but that’s still the pairing.

Simon Says by penguistifical

“Peter asked me to drop by and have a word with you, and, so, here I am.” Simon chuckles at Elias’s disbelieving stare. “Well, he asked in his own way. He’s not a complicated man, you know. He either comes from your arms looking like a stroked cat that’s been given a dish of cream or looking like he’s been in that toy boat of his out in an unexpected storm. He was far angrier than normal, so I daresay you weren’t cream today.”

I mean personally I’d just go ahead and rec all of penguistifical’s LonelyEyes fics but this is a standout for me.

AROMANTIC AND ASPEC MOODS

for when you want to feel Seen

The Aro Archives series by WhyNotFly

These are all just really really good. From Aro!Peter to two different aro-spec versions of the Scottish Safehouse to a long and beautiful aro hanahaki fic, this series is uniformly wonderful. The two Scottish Safehouse ones (Torn Edges and Murky Water) are my comfort fics.

and now all fear gives way by j_quadrifons

Before he can think it through, he murmurs, "Is that what it feels like? Being in love?" Martin's hand stills in his hair and Jon's stomach drops.

This one just. Wow yeah this is how it be. Another absolute comfort fic of mine.

Sweet As Roses by Prim_the_Amazing

Jon takes Martin by the shoulders, leans up on the tips of his toes, and kisses him.

I’m going to be honest—I didn’t know where to put this one. But it ended up here because the real standout of this fic for me is the portrayal of Sasha, and especially her portrayal as an aro character. So I’m putting it here. Mind the content warnings with this one!

HUMOUR

for when you want to feel delight

The Torment of Sebastian Skinner by Urbenmyth

After the Eye's victory, the statement givers are trapped in their horror stories, living them over and over again. Naturally, this works out better for some then for others.

Premise? Delightful. Execution? Fantastic. I read this one to cheer myself up when I’m sad.

Unlucky by VolxdoSioda

Jon’s dice betray him

Short, sweet DnD au, and the reason I cannot get DM!Elias out of my head now.

Voracious by beetl

A bird hits the window. Jon experiences The Flesh's thrall.

“Dead Dove: Do Not Eat” but make it literal.

The Stupid Endings by Urbenmyth

There are a lot of very deeply thought out and creative AUs on this site. These aren't among them. These ones are how the story could have ended, if Jonny Sims was a dumbass.

These are just uniformly hilarious, I cannot recommend them highly enough.

PODCAST CROSSOVERS

for when you want to make one of those “if I had a nickel for every time...” posts

The Sabbatical by morelikeassassin

Nicholas Waters is in need of an all-knowing eldritch entity beyond the confines of human imagining to help with his latest ritual. He'll have to settle for Jonathan Sims, who happens to have nothing better to do.

Crossover with Archive 81 (s3, specifically). Both fun and bittersweet.

The City And Its Sorrows by cuttooth

“What makes you think your friend is in Eskew?” David asks. He feels he can risk the scrutiny of the city that far. “I read that this is a place people end up when they get lost,” says the man. “This is a place people end up,” David agrees./The Archivist comes to Eskew.

Contemplative piece, and I love the way it presents David’s relationship with Eskew, the way he finds it horrible and hates it and yet belongs to it, is almost proud in the way he shows to to Jon. Great little vignette of two people oppressed by eldritch powers, intersecting.

Hiatus by bibliocratic

My name is Jonathan Sims, and I am in Eskew. (Jon gets lost in a Spiral city. It is not as easy as escaping.)

This one is far more focused on Jon than David, and is honestly more Eskew-weird than Spiral-weird. In the best way. Told in Eskew episode style, and is very good.

Sweet Music by Shella688

Eskew has a music to it, if you know how to listen. The percussion beat of thousands of footsteps, the melody in the squealing of the trains overhead. Today, the music of Eskew comes in the form of nine musicians, playing outside my office. My name is David Ward, and I am in Eskew.

Not TMA, but since a lot of Mechs fans go here—this one’s a Mechs/Eskew crossover. Short and simple, mostly David Ward centric, just a little well-written one shot I had to mention because I enjoyed it but it doesn’t have much traffic. Nice portrayal of the Mechs from an outsider’s perspective, and how genuinely strange and frightening they’d come across (especially if you’re already being haunted by and eldritch city). If you like Eskew-style storytelling, check it out!

NOT TMA

...but good enough that I physically cannot make a recs list without including them. Here!

[chilling-seavey]

Amoureux (c.s./d.s.) - Chapter Twenty-Three

A/N This song’s chapter is Water Fountain by Alec Benjamin <3

The rest of the day was spent with Louisa resting in her room, her body exhausted from the draining events of the last few days. She didn’t hear much movement and thankfully barely any speaking or yelling, the palace down to a steady silence. She drifted in and out of sleep most of the afternoon, the guilt and shame and sadness eating at her heart every time she woke. It was so much easier to just sleep through it all. She just wanted to wake up back at Versailles.

The King had never seen his eldest son so angry in all twenty and a half years of knowing him. They spent the entire afternoon in the office, the King sat behind his desk and Christian pacing the room, screaming and cursing at the top of his lungs until he finally exhausted himself and slumped into a chair to logically discuss where to go from there. His hurt was apparent as he had fallen head over heels for Louisa from the first moment, he laid eyes on her and his love had only grown tenfold since then. There was nothing Christian was more sure of in life than wanting to marry her; and having Daniel ruin that was the last straw. Christian had dealt with Daniel’s extroverted and attention seeking personality since his brother was a toddler, always finding a way to turn anything and everything onto himself. Christian couldn’t help but think that this was just another one of his stupid plots to get under his skin, taking something that wasn’t his; Louisa. It infuriated him.

What Christian didn’t know that Daniel was hurting just as badly, locked in his room with his spare keys confiscated as his room was searched before he was left in there with his own mind. He paced his floor for hours, mind reeling about how much he hurt Christian, how much he hurt Louisa, and how he was most likely awaiting his trial for his execution. For sixteen-year-old Daniel, it was the single most terrifying thing to ever happen to him and he was sure that he was having a mental breakdown. He always lived by the seam of his pants, acting first and thinking second; and after his argument with Louisa the morning of the wedding, he was ready to do anything to get her for himself, away from Christian who he figured wasn’t good for her. It made sense to himself, to stand up and confess his love to Louisa, to save her from this arranged marriage – perfect sense, but as soon as Christian walked out of the church, Daniel knew he messed up badly. He knew he deserved punishment, but he was dreading the idea of being hung by the hand of his brother. He didn’t want to die.

Louisa woke the next morning and it took all her effort to get out of bed. Mary helped her tidy herself up and dress, neither woman saying a word. What was there to say when the palace was falling to dust around them? Louisa planned to take the day to talk to Christian and resolve their obvious tension before finding Daniel to hear what the hell he was thinking and hopefully smooth things over and burn some bridges. It was going to be a draining day.

Louisa stepped out of her bedroom to find the grand staircase noisy and the foyer bustling with people. She walked down the stairs slowly, watching various butlers carrying trunks and chests into the waiting carriage under the controlling order of Jonah. Louisa stopped at the landing, her hand resting on the banister as she watched the men move the items quickly.

“Jonah.” she called, her voice rough from all her crying and he looked up towards her before excusing himself from the butlers and walked up to meet her at the landing.

“Your Royal Highness.” he bowed to her. “Good to see you awake.”

“Jonah, what is going on?” Louisa asked slowly, keeping her eyes narrowed in confusion towards the carriage through the open doors.

“Prince Christian and the King have come to the conclusion that Daniel will be leaving today.”

“Leaving?” Louisa turned to him quickly. “Leaving for how long?”

“The King chose to pardon the usual charge and punishment of treason and simply banish him from England to avoid anymore…situations.” Jonah explained.

Louisa couldn’t respond, her mouth fallen open in shock as she looked back to the trunks being loaded onto the carriage.

“He is still a child. Where are they sending him?”

“Either Spain or Denmark; whichever ship leaves earliest when they arrive to the port by tomorrow morning.” Jonah said. “I am sure Prince Christian will speak with you today, but the wedding has been postponed to the end of this week.”

“He still wants to marry me?” Louisa asked, turning back to Jonah.

“Yes, ma’am. He does intend on keeping the arrangement and marrying you by Saturday.”

Louisa couldn’t even smile at that relief of a statement as she glanced back to the carriage. She couldn’t believe Christian would just get rid of his brother so easily, that the King would get rid of his son that easily. She wondered if Christian would have actually sent Daniel to be executed if it was ultimately his decision.

“May I see Prince Daniel before he leaves?” Louisa asked before she could think it through.

Jonah hesitated, contemplating that question a moment, but he looked at her and nodded once, “I will have to be there as well, however, as he is legally a criminal and you are not permitted to be put in any possible danger.”

Louisa wanted to laugh in his face; Christian was more of a danger than Daniel.

She followed Jonah back up the stairs and to a door at the far end of the hallway. He pulled out a ring of keys and unlocked the door before leading her inside. Daniel was sat on his window sill in his near empty room, staring out at the courtyard where the carriage was being packed up with his things and biting his fingernail anxiously. At the sound of the door shutting again, he looked over, his eyes widening at the sight of Louisa and he breathed her name as he jumped to his feet to greet her. Jonah set a hand out to stop him before he could hug her and Daniel pouted lightly as he simply stared at her. He looked so much younger than she remembered, his hair sticking up in all directions and his blue eyes rimmed with red and cheeks flushed pink from crying, and he was dressed in only a white button up, trousers, and black boots, as if his wardrobe had been taken from him along with his citizenship.

“I’m sorry.” Daniel said softly. He glanced at Jonah and then back at Louisa.

She had prepared a whole speech to tell him how much he hurt her and how stupid he was but she seemed to forget it all in that moment. Louisa’s bottom lip trembled a moment and she looked to the ground to keep from crying.

“I will wait outside.” Jonah whispered to the two of them. “Do not make me regret this decision.”

They nodded thankfully to him and Daniel watched him leave and close the door, leaving it open only a crack. Daniel looked back to Louisa and took a step closer, hesitantly reaching out to lift her head to look at him.

“Why would you do this?” she cried softly. “Why’d you have to tell everyone like that?”

Daniel swallowed thickly, bowing his head in shame, “I know. I wasn’t thinking. I was upset from our argument and I did the worst thing to you and to Christian. It was so wrong of me. I’m sorry.”

He expected her to yell about her ruined relationship with Christian and how he deserved everything that came his way, but she took him by surprise with a gentle, “Now I will never see you again.”

Daniel bit back his tears, sick of crying so much the past days and exhausted from thinking she hated his guts, the relief shamefully blissful, and he engulfed her in a tight embrace. Louisa clung onto his shirt in her fists, burying her face in his neck and let herself cry.

“At least I won’t be hanged.” Daniel tried to joke but it only made her hold him tighter. He rubbed his hand over her back, closing his eyes tightly as if trying to forever remember the feeling of her in his arms. After a moment, they separated just enough to look at each other and Daniel wiped her tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

“Christian moved the wedding to Saturday.” Louisa whispered.

“I know.” Daniel nodded, sliding his hands into hers between them.

Louisa sniffled and looked down to their entwined hands, stood just the same way as she and Christian were two days prior. She gave his hands a small squeeze.

“You’re going to look beautiful.” Daniel whispered. “My brother’s a lucky man.”

“And a little psychotic.” Louisa chuckled, turning back to look at his face.

Daniel didn’t even crack a smile as he shook his head tiredly, “No. He’s a good guy. He means well. He’s gonna treat you so good.”

Louisa nodded as she took a trembling breath, ignoring his sloppy grammar, her nose scrunching as she struggled not to cry.

“Come here.” Daniel sighed, stepping closer to slide a hand against her face and press a kiss to her other cheek, his other hand wrapping around her back and held her close.

She closed her eyes as they stood motionless for a moment, resting her head against his shoulder, arms snug around his waist. The palace was silent, so silent she could almost hear their heartbeats, feeling Daniel’s soft breath against her neck, his thumb rubbing soft patterns over her back.

“You don’t have to say it back,” Daniel whispered, after a while of silence, his words muffled with his hesitation to speak, “but I love you.”

Louisa sighed, letting the words linger in the air a moment. Even if she wanted to reply, she didn’t have the opportunity as the door opened quickly and they separated in record speed – something they were all too used to doing – and two Royal Guards came in with Jonah. Jonah pulled Louisa back and she stared with wide eyes as the two men turned Daniel around and tugged his hands behind his back aggressively, shoving him forward against the wooden post of his blue canopy bed. Daniel shut his eyes for a moment as they handcuffed him and he glanced over at Louisa as they tightened them, the sound of the rusted steel chains echoing off the walls of his elegant bedroom.

“It’s okay.” Daniel whispered to her, wincing as they tugged him back by a rough hand on the back of his shirt. “I’ll be okay. Be good to my brother.”

He couldn’t help the cheeky little wink as they pushed him out of the room and towards the stairs, Jonah and Louisa following as well. The rest of the family was already stood on the landing, Anna hiding behind her mother in slight fear as her brother was pushed past them in shackles, the Queen unable to even look at her son as she swallowed back her shame, and the King and Christian watching with straight lined expressions. Christian glanced to Louisa as she joined them and he grabbed her arm to pull her closer, almost as if to keep her as far away from Daniel as possible.

The younger brother looked over his shoulder to take one last look at his family as they reached the bottom of the stairs and he met Louisa’s frightened gaze before being tugged out the door by the guards. Christian’s grip on her arm tightened and she winced quietly, not bothering to speak her complaint. The family watched as Daniel was driven away, seeing the silhouette of his bowed head through the back window as the carriage disappeared through the palace gates.

[maljean89]

Do you have a band whose entire discography brings you back to the different chapters of your life? Its very basic-bitch-white-girl of me, but Paramore is that band for me.

RIOT! (2007) — The end of high school I discovered Paramore when I was a senior in high school. I caught this promo at the end of some reality TV show on MTV of Hayley singing “Misery Business.” I actually found the video on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GSsDEkbBhZo (about 1:40 in). I was hooked from then on out. A friend of mine burned a CD for me that had “Misery Business” and “That’s What You Get” along with “My Heart” from their first album. When I close my eyes I can see driving through my small town in my black Chevy Blazer with the windows down and the music cranked.

BRAND NEW EYES (2009) — UW Oshkosh This album was the soundtrack of my college years. This album brings me back to mostly bad memories. Memories of a time when I was repressed and not exploring myself the way I should have been. I listened to “The Only Exception” and thought it was made for me and him. I look back and “Playing God” was more accurate. I did create a kickass long-form radio piece reviewing this album that turned out really really great. I was really proud of it — here’s the link: https://vimeo.com/18520889. When I close my eyes I can see the campus, the radio station WRST, that apartment where we had so many fights. I guess you could say this album got me through it, while at the same time DJ’ed the whole shit-tastic experience.

THE FINAL RIOT! (2008) — A metaphor for what I wanted my relationship to be Even though this album came out prior to Brand New Eyes, I didn’t personally own it until after. I got it as a gift from my ex-husband — the same fuck I was dating in college. I loved it. I still have it. Most of my CDs were quickly separated from their cases, never to be reunited again. Not this CD (and DVD). Always stayed in its case, and always lived on the bookshelf. I treated it like a collectors item — something to be displayed. Oddly enough, I treated my then-new marriage the same way. On the outside, to the rest of the world — we were happy. I was happy with my choices. If I just told myself one more time, if I just posted one more picture, if I just put it up on that shelf to display it to everyone... maybe I’d believe that I actually wanted it. To be clear — I love the CD, just not the person who gave it to me and the time period during which I displayed it. Transported back to a time when I dreamed of getting away and being someone in the crowd of this concert — faceless, nameless, and singing along in unison with strangers. 

PARAMORE (2013) — The shitshow that was my marriage

When the first single from this album came out, I hated it. “Now” is still one of my least favorite songs on the album. I remember feeling sad and betrayed that this band that I loved, that I held so close to my heart, made something I didn’t recognize. What could I trust in this world if I couldn’t trust Paramore? I close my eyes and I’m in the grey Ford Escape we bought with the money my dad gave me to pay for my college. The car he would end up taking in the divorce. I’m transported back to countless nights of being kicked out of my own apartment. I grew to love this album. Again, I thought songs like “Still into You” and “Ain’t It Fun” applied to my love-life and newfound adulthood as I convinced myself that I was happy, that I liked my life and my choices. But songs like “Last Hope” and “Part II” bring me back to how melancholy I felt. How trapped. How lost. I don’t even know myself at all, I thought I would be happy by now. Words could have never been more true at that point in my life.

AFTER LAUGHTER (2017) — On the other side I waited 4 years for another Paramore record. And in 4 years, my life changed. A LOT. I left that piece of shit that held me down, held me back. My mom got cancer and I watched her wither away for a year and held her hand as she died. I met the love of my life. This album came out right before I went on the road with him — went on tour with him an we drove across the entire country, blasting this record. Jonah was very sick of it by the time we hit California, but he had no say in it if he wanted me to do the driving! From the East Coast to Canada, through the midwest, down the West Coast, and down through Arizona, New Mexico, Texas and last stop, Georgia. I fell in love with these songs and how this band had aged and grown up and gone through depression, just like I had. We all went through “Hard Times” and gave people fake smiles. While widely departed from their pop-punk beginnings, this album feels synthy and dripping with eighties energy — as do the music videos. Paramore wasn’t afraid to change with this album and I felt like I wasn’t afraid to change too.

One song sticks out like a sore thumb and makes me cry every time I listen to it. I was 26 when I left him, when I left that shitty life I wasted behind me. Everything was fine until you came around. Until he ruined everything, I had my close relationship with my mom, I had a sense of who I was. You got me tied up but I stay close to the window. He wouldn’t let me have friends or have a life that didn’t include him. I literally can remember daydreaming, gazing out that front window of our apartment at Lake Superior, wishing I could hop on one of those huge ships and just get the fuck out of here, get a new life. The part that really gets me is this:

Reality will break your heart Survival will not be the hardest part It's keeping all your hopes alive All the rest of you has died So let it break your heart

���26″ is literally a song about hope, but I feel like it was written just for me. Getting out from underneath the thumb of an emotionally abusive partner — missing out on years of valuable time with my mother only to reunite and watch her die — finding hope in the face of Jonah and finally feeling free to be myself, to explore, to grieve, to love, and to live.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I grew up and went through lots of shit as I listen to these albums. I got to feel a band grow and mature as I grew and matured. There have been artists in my lifetime that I fell in love with at a meaningful point in my life, but they didn’t keep growing as I grew. Artists (sadly) like Avril, who showed me at 13 that it was okay to be different than the preppy girls, who gave me hope with her 2nd album that I was going to grow as she grew, but who then disappointed me beyond repair with her 3rd album when she took a hard left turn into sassy, stupid, blonde vapidity. But then came Paramore — a band with a sound that matched my teenage spirit, and I was whisked away into my young adulthood. I’m 31 now and Hayley only just released her first solo album this year and I’m still growing and changing with this artist. She stepped away from Paramore (for good? We do not know.) and put out this indie-sounding experimental album that feels like 80′s pop mixed with Sia’s 2005 record “Colour The Small One” — a high school fave of mine. As a fan, it gives me hope when someone like Hayley Williams doesn’t allow herself to be trapped in a box. She doesn’t have to be a pop-punk, flame-haired front woman forever. She can change. I can change. Paramore can grow, and so can I.

Let’s keep changing and growing for the rest of our lives, shall we?

[dykedistortion]

I think your MLM/WLW post is super interesting and important... and honestly, I don't think what I'm about to say in any way negates what you've pointed out (or what is largely an issue in fandom period - i.e. prioritizing white male ships over wlw ships). But I think something frustrating for me with TMA is how unlikeable I find most of the women, particularly in their treatment of the character I ID with most (Jon): the abusive/enabling cops Daisy and Basira, as well as Melanie.

[Georgie, I understand and respect, Sasha, I loved, but she died at the end of season 1. and I know that many of these women undergo changes as the series progresses, i.e. Melanie and Daisy, but... I think some of those characters could've been handled in a better way? And ofc there are great women in this series - Helen and Agnes... and ofc, Elias and Peter are TERRIBLE, so it's not that problematic women justifies prioritizing mlm. I just... I don't know. Sorry for rambling on your blog.]

Read more because this got a little long:

Tbh, thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, I think getting different people’s views and having a conversation would be more informative and such! I do think it’s worth noting that every single major character in TMA is complicated in some way, none of our heroes are entirely good people who haven’t made any mistakes. And some of them, like Basira and Daisy, are actively representing corrupt systems in our world! Even Jon, our protagonist, makes plenty of mistakes and even forcibly takes statements, which, while a complicated situation over all and something he fights against is still directly damaging to others. But, (and you addressed this some as well), despite the entire cast’s nuance, I do think that the women are treated more harshly as a whole, both in terms of general treatment and especially shipping. Like, people jump through hoops to humanize and give this deep pathos to characters as wholly evil as Jonah and Peter, so it’s even more disheartening when female characters aren’t given nearly that much dimension by fans in comparison (not you specifically, you seem aware of this issue, I’m just talking about in general)

Of course disliking characters is okay! I totally get where you’re coming from here in terms of really vibing with Jon, and you’re not obligated to like all female characters. I do think that properly examining those feelings is very important, to make sure that there aren’t any underlying biases, but of course you don’t have to like every character/ship. Personally I’ve grown to like characters I wasn’t initially super attached to a lot more through engaging with fic and meta of them, which both draws more attention to them and makes me think of them in ways I might not’ve before. This kind of thing is mostly only a problem when it’s so prevalent in fandom as a whole, and it’s definitely a major issue outside of TMA as well. 

TLDR: It’s okay to have preferences within fan content, but it’s necessary and important t to carefully consider where those preferences are coming from and make sure you’re being fair, especially when it may be part of a widespread problem. 

[radramblog]

Top 5 Games, ever...?

This was sort of on my mind, considering the recent GOTY post I made. Come explore the hyperfixations that managed to stick around long enough to be my top 5 list. 

5. Uhhhhhh

So turns out I haven’t figured out what number 5 is yet. I suppose instead I’ve got to split it among the honourable mentions, huh.

Kirby Super Star Ultra is probably the best game from the GBA/DS era of the series and is just a blast to play. It introduced Masked Dedede, and all the banging music and memes that come with it, and probably deserves a spot here just for that.

The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth removes all the awkward Flash Stuff from the excellent original, and adds so, so much more content- the game’s final expansion still isn’t out yet as of writing but even now there’s just so much to unlock. While some aspects of the game can be pretty unforgiving, you probably aren’t going to be exposed to the worst of it unless you get into it pretty hardcore, and if you do, you’ll get used to it. It’s a roguelike, after all.

Speaking of roguelikes, FTL: Faster than Light is chaotic yet serene, brutal but fair, and a bunch of other pretentious dichotomies wrapped into a neat little bow. It takes some getting used to the mechanics, but once you get the hang of it, building your little ship up and up in the face of all odds is extremely satisfying. Have fun dying hopefully not too many times.

SPEAKING of permadeath, Realm of the Mad God gets a spot here just out of sheer hours I’ve spent with it. After a messy few years with a not-so-great owner lead me to dropping the game, it seems finally to have recovered and has devs and community that actually freaking care about it, which is nice. Also, it’s free, and the recent transition to unity has the game looking better and playing smoother than 12-year-old me could ever have dreamed of.

Terraria isn’t just 2D Minecraft btw, its actually more of an RPG/Metroidvania thing, you probably know at this point, but its pretty good hey. Still haven’t fully dove into 1.4 but considering I thought Red was done at 1.1 I’m not complaining with what I have played.

 4. Fallout: New Vegas

(...ish??)

I’d argue that between the primitiveness of the original Fallout games (I’ve tried to get into them, but I just can’t) and how…meh… the other Bethesda ones are, New Vegas is the only one in the series to stand up strong. Obsidian’s excellent writing and tweaks to the gameplay of 3 make New Vegas feel like an actual world, rich and characterised, which was something I found lacking in previous open-world RPGs I’d played up until that point (which admittedly might just have been Skyrim). It’s a game that challenges you to make choices that actually matter for more than the mere moments of an altered dialogue tree, both in dialogue and character building, which helps make the game actually replayable. It is also the first game in a long time that really sold the idea of DLC on me, seeing as each of the game’s 4 expansions adds an entire new region of world with its own stories and unique gameplay, tying together with the main plot but standing on their own. I am excluding Gun Runner’s Arsenal from this for obvious reasons, though it isn’t like GRA is a bad DLC or anything- on the contrary, the sheer scope of modifications and munitions makes playing a repair/science-based character incredibly fulfilling- but it just isn’t at the same scope as the other 4 (Courier’s stash barely counts seeing as its just oops! All preorder bonuses).

New Vegas is one of the few games I have actually 100% completed, achievements and all, but I’m still pretty sure there are bits I’ve missed, paths I haven’t taken, characters I haven’t talked to. Despite its inhospitability, the Mojave is always a comfortable place to return to.

 3. VA-11 Hall-A

(Hey look, my phone background)

Vallhalla is a masterclass in storytelling, atmosphere, and aesthetic. Like all good cyberpunk dystopias, you get themes of class and transhumanism and artificial intelligence, but they aren’t the point of Vallhalla. Through the window and lens of cyberpunk and PC98 nostalgia is focussed a surprisingly human story centred around the protagonist, Jill, which through multiple replays still hits me in the feels just so. Of course, Jill’s story is not the only one being discussed, as every single patron of the bar has their own life going on, and the glimpses we get imply a rich, often interconnected, world. Glitch City is, frankly, a shithole, and it’s not like you don’t get some assholes coming into the bar while you’re working it. The first patron you serve, in fact, is a great example of this- Donovan D. Dawson, essentially a parody of J. Jonah Jameson, is a colossal prick and knows it- but its clear he has his own system of morals and it is mentioned that he’s excellent at his job, much as he gripes about it. He’s rude and more than a little sexist, but frustratingly charismatic and authoritative, and he’s just one of many people who show up throughout the game. Vallhalla is the perfect game to sit down, grab your preferred beverage, and just relax with.

 2. Total Annihilation

(This image is on the steam page for this one, despite blatantly not being from vanilla TA)

I think I actually need to explain this one. Total Annihilation was a game released in 1997 made largely by Chuck Taylor, who would later go on to produce spiritual successor Supreme Commander. It’s an RTS game featuring exclusively robotic units with a fairly chunky aesthetic, allowing the visuals to age better than some, and a fully orchestrated soundtrack by Jeremy Soule, who would later go on to do work on a whole bunch of stuff, most notably Skyrim.

Total Annihilation is an intensely nostalgic game for me, being one of the first games I ever got to play as a kid outside of edutainment stuff, and I’d argue still holds up today (especially with the excellent Escalation mod). What it lacks in story (it’s pretty basic, but functional) it makes up for being miles ahead of its time mechanically, being the first (?) RTS to function in 3 dimensions- heights of things actually matter, hills exist and certain units climb them better than others, shooting down airplanes is difficult without anti-air but possible if you aim *just* right. While appearing pretty similar and having largely analogous units, the two factions of Arm and Core are well fleshed-out in terms of aesthetic and playstyle- Arm preferring fast and cheap equivalents to Core’s slow but powerful- and the unit variety is sufficient that strategies can vary wildly based on the map. Both campaigns as well as those from the game’s expansions are challenging, but satisfying, limiting the units you can produce to force exploration of different playstyles.

Total Annihilation isn’t something I tend to binge play for hours anymore, but I’ll pick it up for a bit every so often, and I don’t see that stopping for a long time (especially due to the recent steam release).

 1. Pokémon Emerald

(At the top, where it belongs)

Yeah, this was inevitable. Pokémon is my favourite series ever; Emerald is my favourite in the series. Go figure.

Emerald, being the final game for the franchise’s days on the Game Boy, reflects everything Game Freak had learned in the first 3 generations of the series’ history. The game’s balance is challenging but fair, never spiking so tough that it is insurmountable but never holding your hand either. The AI opponents are throwing odd combinations of mons and moves at you from every corner, double battles are everywhere but rarely mandatory, and the variety of available mon both before and during the postgame is excellent. The added features on top of Ruby and Sapphire are great- Battle Tents serve to replace 3 of the contest halls (they should have all been under one roof to begin with) and provide a taste of what would later be available in the Battle Frontier. The Frontier is probably the single most expansive and challenging postgame in any Pokémon game, providing the game with a longevity that is sorely needed due to the inaccessibility of Pre-DS multiplayer. The game also manages to tie together the plot of both Ruby and Sapphire into something that feels natural, and provides the series’ first ever actual cutscene, which felt a lot cooler at the time than it sounds now. The return of animated sprites gives the Pokémon a level of life far beyond the static sprites of RSFRLG, and in my eyes wouldn’t feel the same until Black and White several years later. The return of the Pokégear phone in the form of Match Call, as irritating as it is to some, makes the world feel alive in a way that Sinnoh and Kanto probably never will, in addition to making grinding a fair bit less tedious and more beneficial. It is, altogether, probably the perfect Pokémon experience, and in my opinion only one other game comes close (its Platinum).

Oh also, they got rid of the font from Ruby and Sapphire, thank fuck, that shit is atrocious.

[dailyaudiobible]

12/17/2020 DAB Transcript

Nahum 1:1-3:19, Revelation 8:1-13, Psalms 136:1-26, Proverbs 30:7-9

Today is the 17th day of December the 352nd day of this year welcome to the Daily Audio Bible I am Brian it is wonderful it is a joy to be here with you today as we take the next step forward. And, so, right off the bat as we’re moving toward the…the Old Testament we finished, completed the book of Micah yesterday, which was the sixth of the minor prophets, the sixth of…the sixth of the 12 minor prophets. So, we’re going into book 7 of the minor prophets today. And this is a book called Nahum and we will read it in its entirety today in one sitting. But let’s talk about it.

Introduction to the book of Nahum:

Let’s first remember a city called Nineveh. Remember that city, the capital city of the Assyrian Empire. We remember this story probably most vividly from Jonah, Jonah the prophet running from God but than having to circle back around and obey God and go to Nineveh and the Ninevites repent at the time. Nahum deals with Nineveh, but we have to go forward about 150 years after Jonah. And the thing about Nahum is almost nothing is known about them at all. The name Nahum means comfort and the book says he was from Elkosh, but the problem about that is nobody knows where Elkosh is. Like, was it a village, was it a town, like where are we talking about? Placing Nahum in time is a little bit easier because there are some references to events that are historical events contained within the prophecy. For example, Assyria conquered Thebes, which is in Egypt and that is a well-known historical fact and that happened in 663 B.C., but it's referenced in Nahum. So, we…we know the Nahum was written after that date. And Nahum also prophesies the…the fall of Nineveh. And that's also a historical fact, it happened in 612 B.C. So, Nahum probably did his prophetic ministry between those two events. And like I said this is a prophecy against Nineveh and this time the destruction of Nineveh is foretold. So, whatever repentance they had 150 years previous…well…was over. And the Assyrians were known for their brutality and known for their mistreatment of those they had conquered. I mean like a legendarily known for it. And they had destroyed the northern kingdom of Israel. And we remember this. We read the entire story. The Assyrian Empire came and destroyed Samaria and took the northern 10 tribes of Israel into exile where they were assimilated and never were cohesive tribes ever again. And, so, God uses Nahum to foretell the destruction of Nineveh. And there are many scholars who believe that Nahum…like Nahum didn't travel to Nineveh to give this message. This was a prophecy likely issued from Jerusalem and was likely intended to be heard by Hebrew people who knew about the destruction of the northern kingdom, and then this prophecy would come and tell them God's intentions, which would give them encouragement to live true and live into all of the things that they were facing knowing that God was just, and that God would in the end would do what God will do. And, so, in the major and minor prophets we've seen God foretell things but also invite repentance and then tell of a future where things would be restored so we know that God is merciful and patient. But we also know that God, He’s not a pushover, and nobody's gonna push…the…this is God. And, so, no nation will stand before God and God will not stand for a nation's sin forever. And, so, with that we will read the complete book of Nahum. We’re reading from the Good News translation this week. Nahum contains three chapters, and we will of course begin with chapter one.

Prayer:

Father we thank You for Your word. We thank You for the 136th Psalm today that over and over in the face of everything reminds us that Your love is eternal no matter what. And we are grateful for that. We bask in that. We relax in that. We exhale in that. Thank You for Your eternal love for us and we invite Your Holy Spirit to continually remind us of this. This Psalm is so beautiful because it won't let it go. Your love is eternal over and over and over. And, so, let that sink in today. Holy Spirit come we pray in Jesus’ name. Amen.

Announcements:

dailyaudiobible.com is the website, home base, and its where you find what's going on around here. And it's been Christmas around here. It gets more Christmasy every day as we move towards Christmas in the world. And, so, it's been Christmas time around here. So, let me let you know about something brand-new for Christmas.

So, my wife Jill is a singer if…if you didn't know. Not like, she's my wife and she sings, like a professional singer. This was…this was Jill’s career and my career was in the music business as well as a record producer before…before life tipped upside down and we found ourselves in full-time ministry. Something we really really thought was never on the radar. So, she has several albums and has toured all over the world singing. And, so, virtually she will be performing a candlelight service with some of our friends and partners in ministry in the Global Campfire community. Churches all over the world are part of what we do here. And, so, she’s gonna be singing and we’ll post a link to that, especially if…especially if you are virtual and maybe have no home then we’ll definitely post that on our social media links on Christmas eve. But she was asked to sing O holy night, which any of you out there who are singers, you know, that’s a singer’s song and that is a deceptively difficult song to sing. But she and I got together, and we were like, “let's…let’s make this real. Let’s do this like we always did. Let's…let's create a single that we can release into this holiday season into this unforgettable year. The words of that song just cut through which is why it's one of those songs that’s just stood the test of time, it just cuts through. And, so, we produced the single and she sang her heart out and we released it and you can hear now. Look for Jill Parr. Of course, her names Jill Hardin, she's my life but she was Jill Parr before she was Jill Hardin, and she was already known as Jill Parr and that's who she's known of…as known as…as a singer. So, just look for Jill Parr and look for O holy night the single and there you go, you can stream on Spotify, modify Apple music, Google play, YouTube music, wherever. You can also buy it from any of these stores and $0.99 track is like a stocking stuffer for the Daily Audio Bible. Everything helps, especially everything in a year like this one. And we’ve just kind of always had a little bit of an unspoken motto - if we’re gonna ask, we’re gonna give too. And, so, we worked hard and it's available now for your Christmas listening pleasure and I hope it encourages you tremendously and inspires you.

Also, kind of while you’re streaming or, you know, downloading albums and stuff there’s the Family Christmas album that is the soundtrack to the season for the Global Campfire. And you can get that at the Daily Audio Bible Shop if you want like a physical CD copy, but if you just, you know, your music is digital, and you download your albums digitally then look for Family Christmas. You can look for my name Brian Hardin and you’ll find Family Christmas and stream or buy that record. It is the kind of record that…well…that really follows the sensibilities of the Daily Audio Bible where we really, really seek out peace, we really seek out serenity when we read the Scriptures, we really try to create a space that’s holy, a space that’s different, that's sacred and separate from all of the cares of this life, so that we have an oasis, a place to go. Well, Family Christmas is the soundtrack inside of that for Christmas. It’s the kind of thing you just sip your hot cocoa. And like I’ve always said, because it's what I like to do - turn off all the lights, leave the Christmas lights on, and just sit and take it all in. And Family Christmas is a great soundtrack for that. So, check it out.

The other thing that we have been talking about is the Daily Audio Bible Shop and resources that are available there that make fine gifts and inspiring invitations to engage with the Scripture on a more intentional…in a more intentional way. So, a couple more days and we will have reached the end of the road there as far as shipping goes. We’re well past shipping for arrival for Christmas time internationally but here domestically with in the United States, a couple more days and then we will have reached that threshold as well. So, we’re kind of in the final…final days. So, to check out the Daily Audio Bible Shop.

If you want to partner with the Daily Audio Bible, you can do that dailyaudiobible.com as well. There is a link on the homepage. Thank you humbly and profoundly for your partnership. If you’re using the Daily Audio Bible app you can press the Give button in the upper right-hand corner or the mailing address, if that's your preference, is PO Box 1996 Spring Hill Tennessee 37174.

And, as always, if you have a prayer request or encouragement 877-942-4253 is the number to dial.

And that's it for today. I’m Brian I love you and I'll be waiting for you here tomorrow.

Community Prayer and Praise:

Good morning siblings it’s your little sis His Little Cherry in Canada. Today is the third Sunday in Advent the beginning of joy and I’m so grateful for Advent this year. Every day in Advent I have been walking to the sunrise and it’s been such a nourishing exercise. Today is bitterly cold. It’s -17 right now that’s Celsius which is about 1°F and I still plan to walk to the sunrise. I’m just getting ready to go, bundling up. I’m putting three pairs of pants on and my big wool sweater and then my big knee length down jacket and I am bundling my head up with just a slit for my eyes showing and deep Arctic gloves and on and on and on. And I will be waddling to the sunrise this morning but I will be there and I just have come to depend on seeing the sunrise. Hosea 6:3 says, “as surely as the sun rises the Lord will appear. He will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth. So, come Lord Jesus I will meet you at the sunrise. We will both be there.” And family I’m taking you with me today to discover the certainty of joy.

Hello DAB family I was just listening to this song that says, “yes I will choose to glorify your name, the name of all names” and I was thinking about just 2020 and how we can say as believers God has been good in 2020. God has been faithful this year. We’re going to look at all of the things that he’s done for us and know all of the things we don’t know that He’s done for us to take care of us, to show us love, to protect us. He’s done so much. And, so, I choose to praise Him. I choose to give thanks for all that He is and all that He’s done in 2020. I am praising Him for it. This has been a great year. It…it still has and sometimes I have to go to the store, and I wear a mask and I feel claustrophobic and I don’t like it but I’m praising Him and when I hear about people sick, I pray for them. So, that’s the way I choose to live but I choose to praise the name of all names, Jesus and I just encourage you all to do the same. And I love you and bless you and I’m so happy to finish out the year with DAB.

Grace and peace Daily Audio Bible family this is RJ calling for Jesus. I just want to say this year 2020 has been a year of bitter and sweet. This year I’ve actually lost my mom. A month before that I actually got married to the love of my life. Three months before that I actually contracted the…the Covid virus and was tested positive and wow…during the season, you know, with my mom when we had her a home going I was able to reconcile with to my children one of my…one of my boys here that’s with my new wife has gotten in trouble with the law, you know, my job is at a…has had…a lot of things have been happening, a lot of ups and downs. But I pray to God in the name of Jesus. So, a word of encouragement to those who are listening and to just never give up. Our God is able. He’s faithful to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we could ask or think according to the power that worketh in us through Christ. So, I pray that each and every one of you guys that are listening that you’re encouraged, that you let the love of God shine in your hearts and in your mind that whatever you do or what you see will be through that lens of love and you will share it to others. Be encouraged my family. Let the love of God continue to shine. Love you all. May God bless you. Amen.

Good morning this is Boyce in northern Nevada and first of all I want to thank Brian for this amazing community and this app that helps us to start our day with the word of God. I feel burdened to pray for all of the delivery people that are working right now many times around-the-clock. I’m a USPS mail carrier myself. And, so, I know that all…all delivery drivers and carriers are working tremendously harder than normal during this season. And, so, I just want to pray. Father God just be with all of the…the carriers - FedEx, UPS, USPS, Amazon drivers - that are having to work just around-the-clock tremendously longer hours and under the burden of this Covid 19 situation that is adding tremendous strain to their…to their jobs. And just give them a sense of gratitude for all of the joy that we get to…we get to help people to receive the things that they ordered and that they need and that we have good jobs that are providing for our families. Also, Lord give them a sense of, you know, the harder that we work the more that we enjoy our…our time off. So, I just ask that you be with them and keep them safe, their family safe in Jesus’ name.

Hey Daily Audio Bible family this is Jason from North Carolina area. Brian I just wanted to say thank you for this. I’m glad that the Lord convicted your heart and allowed in His good grace you to produce this podcast. And I look forward to the God of My Story that I purchased for me and family members for Christmas. I look forward to using that as a companion to the Daily Audio Bible next year. This is my fourth you’re listening, and this is going to be the first year that I complete the Daily Audio Bible completely. And I thank the Lord God for that for it has changed my life profoundly. Jim and Janet if you’re listening to this just know that I love you so much and I thank you for this gift. I thank you for the encouragement and I’m glad that I truly believe the Lord prodded you to tell me about it because it is definitely within the wheelhouse of how I learn and just cannot tell you enough how it has grown me and matured me, and I look forward to keeping it a part of my life for as long as the Lord will allow. And I definitely look forward to using the Chronological Daily Audio Bible next year in the evenings. I’m a nurse so in the mornings I love having this quiet time making breakfast listening to the Daily Audio Bible, but I’ve been convicted and know lately that in the evenings I’m kind of board and I just look forward to hearing from the Chronological. So, again I thank you for that resource as well. I love you all and I thank you very much for this. Just it is wonderful again to have this example of community within our own local churches and families but as a church abroad. In Jesus’ name I pray. Thank you, guys. Amen.

[muffyst]

this rlly isn’t meant to be argumentative, so i’m rlly sorry if it comes across like that, but is there a reason you dislike tyrus so much?

Thanks for this question! It actually makes my hot take week just a bit easier.

So, basically, I don’t hate Tyrus, I never did. In fact, before this fandom got so freaking unbearable and suffocating, I use to post Tyrus content all the time. My most popular post is talking about Tyrus and homophobia.

But my god, have the Tyrus shippers ruined it for me. I’m not generalizing to every single person, but it has felt like every single person who ships Tyrus semi obsessively has ruined the ship for me, for a few reasons.

1. Y’all literally hyper fixate on Tyrus when it’s not in the episode. Many time there were cases of Tyrus being in the next episode, and instead of discussing that content, people just talked about how Tyrus would be angsty cuz it wasn’t in the promo. I’m not saying you’re not allowed to ship your ship or show your love or that I have any say in how you’re going to run your account, but it’s literally everywhere. I just saw a list of “Andi Mack” moments and it was legitimately a list of Tyrus events only, and for some god awful reason carty( like that was relevant before a week ago).

2a. Shippers discard other ships AND STORYLINES like they’re nothing. A recent example of this includes people just forgetting about Jonah finding a house after being semi-homeless. Instead there was a random Tyrus storyline that gave no resolution from the fallout of the shirt incident. Side note, don’t you people want a nice plot that makes sense? Like jumping into the court case after really no resolution of the costume day and Kira incidents is just bad writing tbh.

2b.There are so many other instances, and you don’t have to search far for them. I have seen numerous Tyrus shippers post about Tyrus being superior endgame goals and discarding real Muffy moments. For example, the marathon was just sort of thrown to the side bcause the promo of the next episode was about Tyrus. I’m not saying there werent more than the usual suspects freaking out because there was a great reaction, but then people just freaked out about Tyrus after that. Honestly I feel like a god number of people just begrudgingly ship Muffy forgetting that it’s the oldest popular ship on the show. So yeah, if you’re allowed to feel personally insulted if someone hates on your ship, then I’m going to assume that I’m allowed to feel the same way. Considering that Muffy is also normalizing biracial and supportive ships, I don’t see how it deserves to be trashed so easily.

3a. So those were just general reasons that are heavily prevalent. Here’s one about me personally. Muffy was the first Andi Mack tag that I followed. I looked up Garren to see if he would come back after the first episode. I run track. I’m not white, and I see myself in Buffy. Muffy is engrained in my experience of Andi Mack as a show. I never got the hype with Tyrus. At the time it was growing, I was like oh word, but I kind of didn’t pay as much attention.

3b.But this fandom has ruined Tyrus for me. Yeah I want a great outcome for them as endgame. but no, I don’t see them as soulmates like I see Muffy. Endgame doesn’t equal soulmates. And since I’m coming down from last night’s burst of anger, here we go. Tyrus has been the root of almost all the end of series spoilers. It ain’t cute. I don’t wanna be spoiled, and my last post details exactly the extent of the situation. So that pisses me off, so I don’t like seeing the onslaught of the same Tyrus posts every time.

So one more time, I don’t hate Tyrus, I’ve always shipped it, and I am hoping for a nice end. But Im not going to apologize if I get angry for getting spoilers or having my opinions discarded. And like I said, I’m not out here trying to ruin your fandom experience at all. I never reply to people’s posts, only reblog so that people who don’t want to see it, don’t have to.

Thanks for the question. Feel free to ask more if you’re confused or curious about my views of Andi Mack.

[kalinara]

Rip Week #1  The Many Faces of Rip

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted anything positive about Legends of Tomorrow.  However, it’s Rip Hunter Appreciation Week, which is a time meant for positivity!   At one point this show, and this character, had me blogging meta on a daily basis for almost two and a half years and introduced me to some great people! And I will always be grateful for that.

So the topic for Day 1 of Rip Hunter Appreciation Week: The Many Faces of Rip Hunter.

One thing that still fascinates me about Rip as a character is that, even though he’d only been a central character on the show for 1.5 seasons, we’ve gotten to see so many different sides of the character.  He’s been deconstructed so thoroughly and so fascinatingly, allowing us to really appreciate what makes the character tick.

Let’s start with Rip himself, the baseline number.  The guy who kidnapped a bunch of assholes, brought them to the roof of a tall building (and I still wonder how the stringy little bastard actually managed that) and gave them a sales pitch of a lifetime.

From the opening scene of the pilot, to Rip’s almost goodbye into the sun in Legendary, season one was first and foremost the story of a man broken by grief and betrayal, who slowly, and reluctantly found a reason to go on, and people to share it with.  Rip spent season one a raw, open wound, ugly in his pain and rage.  He tried very hard not to stay focused on his goal. He tried very hard not to care about his team.

He failed pretty much on day one, when he saved Martin Stein’s marriage.  He failed again not too long after that when he abandoned the closest thing he had to a working plan to get Carter’s body back for Kendra.  And he kept failing over and over again.

And they saved him.  They challenged him.  They forced him to look outside of his single-focused obsession and look at the people that they could save around them.  They forced him to take a long hard look at what he was doing when he started to go too far.  And he very clearly and very obviously loved them for it.

I still can’t believe that fandom still tries to claim that Rip didn’t care about his team, when we saw how broken he was after each major loss: Carter, Leonard, even Jax (almost).  That’s not a man who is unfeeling.

We saw Rip as a child: a tiny savage creature who, even when warm and fed, was still ready to stab the nearest adult who threatened him.  It gave a new, fascinating insight to the tension Rip had with both Leonard Snart and Mick Rory.  As well as possibly another reason that he’d bonded with Sara so strongly.  Rip is someone who understands what it means to become a monster in order to survive, and what it means to have to live with that afterward.  It likely does make it difficult when face to face with people who represented the worst of that time (and that’s not even touching on how child Rip probably met a number of people who looked and acted similar to our lovable Rogues, and it likely would not have ended well.)

We’ve never really seen the man Rip was before he was broken.  Except perhaps for a giddy romantic moment with Miranda and that horrible humiliation when they were caught.  We’ve heard a bit more: from that pirate in Marooned, from Magister Druce and Jonah Hex.   We can draw inferences: a man who was capable and skilled (though perhaps not as skilled as his wife :-)), who never the less was a rulebreaker at heart.  Someone who fell in love with the idea of heroism to the point where he almost left the Time Masters entirely.  Someone who, while loyal, wasn’t quite willing to trust his masters with the tool to unmake reality.  But at the same time, someone whose fundamental trust in INDIVIDUALS like Mary Xavier and Magister Druce, survived even when his world fell apart.

At the end of season 1, we got a Rip Hunter who was ready to finally move past his grief, and it will forever be something of a disappointment to me that the series decided to give us a time jump instead of actually showing us Rip learning to be part of a real team.

But season 2 did give us a truly fascinating deconstruction of Rip Hunter as an individual.

One very common plot in almost every superhero’s story is the depowerment story arc.  Who is our hero when he doesn’t have what makes him a hero?  It’s most common for men like Superman of course, but we even get it for folks like Batman or Green Arrow.  What are these men without their money, or their physicality?

What is Rip Hunter without his knowledge, his memories, or his time machine?

Well, we saw him.  And he was adorable!  Phil Gasmer was a hilarious story beat, but unlike maybe certain other storyline elements that we see in later seasons, there was also a point to Phil Gasmer.  Phil Gasmer showed us the kind of man that Rip Hunter is deep down.

He’s creative.  He’s clever.  He’s determined.  He’s a little whiny.  And definitely high.  Rip is a man who would benefit from a little unofficial pharmaceutical help.  He’s a man who, when the world suddenly goes sideways, will first attempt to protect his friend.  He’s a man who, when face to face with a stranger with scary abilities, will try to hit him with a script.  He’s a man who loves his team so much that even when he has no conscious recollection of them, he made them the basis of his movie.  And he’s a man who walked out to face the Legion to save a bunch of strangers who kidnapped him, because it was the right thing to do.

I’d like to think in another universe, Phil didn’t get kidnapped by Eobard Thawne there, but instead made it back on the ship, where the crew actually got the chance to get to know Rip without all the baggage.  I think they’d have gotten along.

And then there’s evil Rip.

“Teammate goes evil” storylines are a dime a dozen, in superhero lore, but there’s a reason for that.  When done well, they can be amazing.  And ultimately, I think the evil Rip storyline was done very well.

One of the things that I always liked about the evil Rip storyline is how it utterly destroyed that pervasive (and wrong!) fan idea that Rip never cared about his team.  Because they showed us a Rip who didn’t care about his team, and he was a fucking scary son of a bitch.

He also showed us how Rip’s best worst enemy was always going to be himself.  Because holy shit, Rip is competent when he’s not tripping himself up.  Turncoat was terrifying in all the best ways, and even that opening of Land of the Lost was amazing.  It’s still very amusing to me that the most effective member of the Legion of Doom was the one Eobard brainwashed into it.

One thing I always found fascinating about evil Rip is that, for all that he lacks Rip’s compassion, empathy and love, he didn’t go the usual scenery chewing sadist route.  He’s a monster, of course.  He was perfectly happy to murder Sara, to carve the spear piece out of McNider, and brainwash the entire knights of Camelot.  But it was always a measured sort of evil.

Evil Rip had a goal, and evil Rip pursued his goal.  And if he could get what he wanted in a relatively non-disruptive and non-violent way, he was willing to try it.  He had no interest in terrorizing the Waverider crew once he had the spear piece from them, even when he saw that Sara had survived her murder.  He tried to trick McNider, only resorting to violence when McNider saw through it.  When he had control of the knights, he just had them stand there, much to Darhk’s boredom, rather than playacting some farce for his amusement as some of the others might have done.

Evil Rip was our chance to appreciate how truly formidable Rip could actually be, and also appreciate those qualities that kept him from turning into that monster again.

My biggest disappointment in this story arc was how little we got to see Rip interact with the other members of the Legion.  His interactions with Eobard and Darhk, in what little we had, were very entertaining.  But we never saw him interact with Malcolm at all (I admit to being intrigued by this, because I thought Malcolm had actually had the most interesting dynamic with Phil in Legion of Doom), and we never saw Eobard react to his capture.  Missed opportunities or food for fanfic?

I don’t know if Doomworld Rip really counts, but I have to admit that, compared to some of Rip’s other coping mechanisms, baking cakes to deal with a year of solitary confinement (Gideon sort of counts, but she’s just a voice at this point), is pretty good for him.  I hope he actually got a chance to eat them.

The idea behind Rip at the Time Bureau really was a good one.  The idea that Rip would have created this organization, but specifically designed it to be the antithesis of the Time Masters: open, transparent, and accountable, is a good one.  But unfortunately, season 3 never really explored that to the extent I would have liked.  

It’s hard to imagine the Rip who recruited Sara before she could die with her sister to Damien Darhk would be okay with leaving Zari in a prison without a very good reason.  But we never got that reason.  Of course, maybe he wasn’t.  He wasn’t in that episode.  We know from Ava that he didn’t want her chasing the Legends, and wanted them given “lenience”.  But if he’s not on board with that, how much of the Time Bureau is actually under his control?

Considering that Return of the Mack told us that Rip allowing Darhk to be resurrected in order to confront him with agents was a “sanctioned” plan (that Rip still ends up in prison for, because Rip is just that good with people), that implies a certain level of oversight.  His and Bennett’s dynamic seemed just shy of outright antagonistic.  And certainly Rip seemed a lot more blase about seeing Bennett meet a grisly end than seems warranted.  This is a man who dismantled the team after Leonard Snart died.

I mean, trying to work out coherent characterization for ANYONE in season 3 is a bit of a problem, but I feel like if the Time Bureau had gotten the same level of focus that it gets much later, perhaps some of these things could actually work.  If, for example, there are multiple factions within the Bureau with their own ideas on what the Bureau is supposed to do, (perhaps tied with the oversight that Rip specifically put in place, because there’s nothing more Rip Hunter than getting hoisted up by his own petard), then a lot of the more confused behavior by the organization could make more sense.

In the end though, Rip is still a secretive, scheming bastard who cares very deeply for his team, and I wouldn't give up that wonderful, almost baggage free friendship with Wally for anything. So it does have its good points.

Ultimately, I think that all of these facets make Rip one of the most well-developed and defined characters in the CW-verse, even when compared with others who have had years and years of screentime.  It’s fun to poke around and explore all of these layers and see how they fit.  And it definitely is food for some great fanfic.  I’m told some other Rip fans will be writing some great fic for #RipWeek.  You should go check them out!

[bobbyischill]

My Relationship With Andi Mack

Two years ago, when I was in 10th grade, my GSA advisor was telling me and a friend about a Disney Channel show. She hadn’t watched it yet, but apparently one of the main characters had just come out as gay! I was really happy for Disney and glad that queer kids all over the world had someone like them to look up to. However, I, a 15 year old, a mature teenager, wouldn’t really enjoy a kids show, right? So I went about the rest of my day without giving it a second thought....

Until I went home and opened up Tumblr. One of the first posts I saw was someone giving props to Disney for making such a diverse, inclusive show that was actually GOOD. They said it reminded them of Girl Meets World, except it was a million times better and diverse. Okay fine, I thought. I guess I’ll check out Andi Mack. (BOOYY I HAD A BIG STORM COMING)

I opened up my iPad around 10:30pm and decided to watch an episode or two, depending on how tired I was. After the very first episode, I recognized that this show was special. Like, REALLY special. The characters were fleshed out and unique. There was the “twist” about Bex being Andi’s mom. The friendships and relationships felt real. I knew I was going to binge the whole show that night.

That night, as I continued on with the show, I fell in love with each one of them. They all had their own quirks, they were all nuanced. I fell in love with how competitive, protective to a fault, and caring Buffy was. I fell in love with how awkward and goofy and relatable Cyrus was. I fell in love with how kind and oblivious Jonah was. I fell in love with how hard-working and funny Andi was, and how much she cared about certain things and the people around her. I fell in love with the dynamics between certain characters and how they were always changing. I loved how it tackled racism in school (Buffy had to change her hair or be sent home), how unfair dress codes are to students (especially girls), how you need to take a stand for what you believe in (the prison uniforms), and how stepping out of your comfort zone is a good thing, even if you get hurt (Andi watching a horror movie and being terrified, but not regretting it). This was all in the first season.

This show already meant so much to me. And then Cyrus looked back at Jonah. In the words of Jonah Beck, “I cried”. Just that hint of representation was more than I had ever scene on Disney or any other show marketed to kids.

And then Cyrus came out to Buffy. I, a pansexual who was out to my friends but not any of my family and who still struggled with intense internalized homophobia, burst into tears. I related to how ashamed and afraid Cyrus looked. I needed to hear Buffy’s heartfelt response. “You may be weird, but you’re no different.” That phrase was constantly bouncing through my head for at least the next few days (and if I’m being honest, it still is). I wrote it all over my notes and assignments because it was literally all I could think about for such a long time. I saw the sign on the wall that said “G: for General Audiences.” That showed me that Disney (or at least Terri Minsky, my queen) truly felt that I wasn’t a freak. I didn’t need to hide my identity from anyone if I didn’t want to. My identity wasn’t a mature subject; it was for general audiences. (Also, I just want to add that Sofia and Josh’s acting in this scene was absolutely fantastic. It was so raw and emotional, and it still makes me cry every time I see it.)

And then in that same episode Cyrus and Buffy talked about his crush on Jonah. They did it so casually, and my mind was blown. At this point, I had honestly never seen so much gay representation in a show as this.

That night, I stayed up until 5am. I was rewatched Cyrus’s coming out scene about 10 times. I fangirled about it on Tumblr. I added “Tomorrow Starts Today” to my Spotify playlist. I even wrote a diary entry about it. (I only write in my diary when I’m feeling very intense emotions that I need to write down in order to figure out.)

The next day at school, I told all my Gay Friends about Andi Mack and how amazing it was. A few of them got into it, and it was fun talking to them about it, but after a while I was pretty heavily hyperfixated on it and I needed more. And I felt like I was bothering my followers with constant posts about how much I loved Andi Mack. So I made this blog. @cyrus-made-tshirts. I haven’t changed the name since. That’s how I became an official part of the friendom.

I love this fandom. I don’t even know many people personally or have made many friends through it, but this fandom was everything to me. I loved the posts, the crackhead theories, josh’s account. I loved the crackships, the real ships, the overanalyzing of every line, of every movement, of every promo. I loved watching the reactions on YouTube. I loved making posts about the show and having hundreds of people relate to it or find it funny, especially the gay ones. My very first post to get more than 50 notes was one about how Miranda and Bex would make a cute couple (this was before Miranda was revealed to be a snake.)

For the past year and a half, Andi Mack has been my life. I have survived the many ship wars. I have survived the months-long hiatuses. I have survived the ominous tweets and posts Josh has made and the frenzy of panicking everywhere that followed it. And I have loved every minute of it.

I’ve seen these characters I love grow up before my eyes. They’ve all changed and evolved and matured so much. There’s so much more representation since I started watching the show. There’s a character with a learning disability, characters with anxiety, a homeless character, a deaf character. There’s been multiple episodes celebrating Jewish and Chinese culture. I’ve seen Cyrus go from nervously nodding in agreement that he liked a boy to unprovokingly telling his friend he liked that boy to flat-out telling his ex-crush he is gay to holding hands with his crush in public. I’ve seen all of Cyrus’s friends support him unconditionally. I’ve seen him find his happily ever after (for middle school, at least).

And then the last episode aired. I knew I was never going to be prepared for it, but HOLY SHIT, it’s over. And the finale was like a fanfiction it was so good. I watched it live on Thursday night at midnight. I freaked out about it online for three hours, then watched it on Disney Now. I pulled an all-nighter because I just kept rewatching it online until Friday night, when I watched it air on Disney. The way Cyrus and TJ sang Born This Way with the rest of the characters cured my depression, cleared my skin, and watered my crops. The bench scene was so fucking beautiful and romantic it caused me to hyperventilate. The acting from both Luke and Josh was incredible. Honestly, Luke crushed it the entire time as TJ and the bench scene was the icing on top. This scene meant more to met than some people could ever know.

A couple months ago, I was in a pretty shit place emotionally and mentally. Literally the only thing stopping me from killing myself was the guilt of leaving my friends and family behind. I needed another reason to stay, something to keep me grounded. And that reason became Andi Mack. I promised myself I would live to see the day Tyrus became canon. And I did it. I’m in a much better place now, and I’m not going to do anything stupid now that Tyrus has become canon (TYRUS HAS BECOME CANON!!! AAKDBEISSHSB I STILL HAVENT PROCESSED THAT YET!!!!). But at the time, I really needed Andi Mack to help me keep fighting. And it was there for me. And I will always be indebted to it for my life.

This show has helped me in so many other ways. It’s helped me drastically reduce my internalized homophobia. It’s given me a community of people that understand me. It’s created so many characters that I love. So thank you to Terri Minsky for creating this show and amazing characters that I will love forever. Thank you to Disney for funding it and not completely censoring it. Thank you to the crew for working tirelessly to make this happen. Thank you to Peyton, Emily, Asher, Josh, Luke, Lilan, Trent, Garren, Sofia, and every other actor for pouring their heart into this show. A special thank you to Josh and Luke for making me feel safe and loved and for caring so much about their story arcs. (And their political activism is pretty awesome, too.)

I’m really going to miss screaming about this show with you guys. I really hope that some people keep creating fanart and fanfics and keep making memes and crackships. I hope the friendom never dies. Because every one of you is so special and fun to hang out with online. And I’m really gonna miss it. And now I’m crying, and this is getting WAYYY too long, so I’m gonna stop talking now lmao. But I want to say this show has changed me in so many ways and I’m grateful to every single person involved, including the amazing friendom. I’ll love you all forever. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[andrewmoocow]

Fooly Falls 2 Ride on Shooting Star chapter 5: Ex-Partners in Crime (originally posted on May 30, 2019)

AN: And now the end is near. And so we face, the final curtain. My fans, I'll say it clear. I'll finish this tale, of course I am certain. I've wrote this sequel, I improved the source with my own flair. But after all of this, the climax is getting there. WKUHH ERBV, ZLWK GLVFRUG XQZDQWHG WZR ROG IULHQGV, ZLWK SDVWV IRUHYHU KDXQWHG RQH PDQ, DQ DQVZHU PDGH KLP GDXQWHG GHVWLQB OHIW WR EH DQVZHUHG, DQG WKHB'UH JRQQD EH HAKDXVWHG

--

In the style of an old black and white film, an assembly of giant irons stood perfectly single file before the setting sun. Gwen quietly watched before turning away and picked a bottle up off the ground. She then discovered a dejected worker sitting in front of a campfire with his hardhat the only splash of color. Gwen examined the sight before her when she also discovered the outline of a skeleton beneath her feet, where she placed the bottle in the center of its chest. Just then the girl dropped to her side in pain, discovering a small disk stuck in her foot that she gave to the skeleton to serve as an eye. As a nearby engine roared, steam from a structure decorated with irons covered the monochrome land like a sandstorm, sweeping her up along the way. When Gwen opened her eyes, she laid in a colorful body of water with her beanie in hand. Then the world suddenly turned greyscale as she excitedly ran along the shoreline while the Medical Mechanica factory continued to stand upright.

-- Ian whistled a familiar tune while tuning up a large computer monitor nestled within Ford's study. "Ride on shooting star. Yabba dabba doo, somethi-ing." he quietly sang while making a few final touches and dismounted from his maintenance creeper. "Okay, main screen turn on?" "Yeah, main screen turn on." Dipper answered turning to a certain someone tied up and fast asleep in a chair. "Rise and shine old friend." he announced placing a freshly cooked chicken leg under Haruko's nose, and the delicious scent wafting into it finally woke her up. "W-what happened?" she asked slowly beginning to wake up. "Last thing I remember was working on something before there was this napkin that covered me and-hey!" "There's no escaping this Raharu. You will give us the answers on your past that we've been searching for!" Ford declared dramatically stepping out of the shadows. "And perhaps some clues on what you're planning this time. Kanda?" "Will do." Tsukata replied hooking the Vespa Woman up to the machine with a helmet resembling a strainer and the monitor finally activated. "This was originally built to defend minds from the dream demon known as Bill Cipher, but now it's been rebuilt to simply read them and view the memories within." "This could be it everyone, our biggest breakthrough!" Dipper cackled joyously as it began booting up. "You okay there Dipper? You've slowly grown more unhinged." Ian asked nervously placing a hand on the older man's shoulder before he was slapped away. "I'm not going unhinged, I'm just excited to finally see through her lies once and for all!" Dipper continued lighting up a fifth cigarette. "So much so that I've literally cut my smokes in half!" "Yeah, he's officially snapped." Kanda commented taking a puff of his own cigarette and sitting down next to Haruko. "Oy, a bunch of losers the lot of you." Haruhara japed with a grin. "You've all become conspiracy theorists who'd resort to kidnapping an expecting mother just to prove a point. And since when did you take up smoking?" "Since I failed to quit." the agent muttered. "And I've been doing it to help me calm down." Dipper added taking a break from his mini-celebration. "Augh, my back." Haruko groaned struggling to reach for her back. "Must be the ropes getting a bit too tight, or you're just getting old." Kanda commented. "Naw, can't really age." the woman responded. "I've been 19 for what feels like ages now." "How many years exactly?" Ford asked writing in a new journal. "Hell if I know, probably ever since I met you-know-who." Haruko answered. "The summer I turned seventeen, was when I took up smoking for the first time." Kanda explained. "Sort of the same with me, only I took up smoking to deal with becoming a father." Dipper replied just as Project Mentem started acting up. "Oh my God, it's finally time!" "Can't believe it took one conversation for it to get started." Ian remarked pounding at the machine. "Well, let's get cracking." After a few moments of static, a full image revealed itself as a slightly younger looking Haruko dressed in drab work-clothes with a familiar iron in the background. "Wait a minute, is that-" Dipper exclaimed while his eyes widened. "Yep. Haruha Raharu, ex-factory worker." Raharu groaned in resignation over her past. "And it was back when Medical Mechanica had control over my planet too." As the younger Vespa Woman continued trudging about her day, Ford lost interest. "Let's just skip to the interesting stuff." the scientist declared fast-fowarding through the memory until it stopped at Haruha rocking out on some equipment as a makeshift drumkit. "Now that's the little devil we know!" "Hey, keep it down in there Haruha!" a strict, snarly voice cried out to her barging into the room. He was a tall, robust figure with a thick mustache, very long nose and a comically large cigar in his mouth. "Ah, good ol' Heinzenberg. A real J. Jonah he was, really miss when he would scream like crazy at everyone." Haruko reminisced on her former boss. "Either stop those abominable sounds or I'll do it for you!" Heinzenberg screamed pulling out a laser blaster and firing, but his rebellious employee swiftly escaped. "Try and catch me brushface!" "Wow, seems like everyone hated your guts." Dipper remarked as the fight between Haruha & Heinzenberg tore the workplace apart, to the ire of everybody else. When the dust settled, the area was in shambles and Heinzenberg was completely furious. "HAAAAAAA-RUUUUUUU-HAAAAAARAAAAA! YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUU'REEEEEEE FIIIIIIIIIREEEEEEDDDDD!" "Was he really that loud?" Ford asked as the Haruha on the screen was dragged away by security robots. "Yep, to the point where one had to add extra letters to whatever he was screaming." Haruko cackled before her smirk turned into a frown as Kanda fast-fowarded to the biker's home life, where she was being harshly scolded by a man presumed to be her father. "Do you realize what you've done Haruha?!" "Abusive parent, correct?" Ian interviewed their captive. "Oh you better believe it. The old man was a completely irredeemable piece of shit who loved drinking more than his own family." Raharu declared morosely, turning away from that ugly part of her past. "And as for my mom, pretty sure she got killed by him in a drunken rage. But who knows, I barely knew her." "Your slacking off and playing that infernal music nearly got us all in trouble!" Mr. Raharu drunkenly shouted after smacking his daughter across the face. "Either behave like every other girl on this godforsaken planet or never show your face around me again!" Just then, the cruddy former apartment home of Haruha started rumbling and a loud voice bellowed "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT! I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT!" The ceiling began falling to pieces little by little, all capped off with a steel girder losing its support and falling right over Haruko's father. "WHAT THE FU-" was all he could scream before the girder reduced him to a puddle of red. "The Cromulons!" Ford exclaimed fast-fowarding to Haruko on stage before the giant planet-sized heads gazing down on her. "PLANET WASPRUS, SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT!" the Cromulon boomed. "So what, do they go around screaming at planets?" Kanda asked. "And what do they want to be shown?" "The Cromulons are a race of giant floating heads who force the inhabitants of planets to perform in their own musical contest show." Haruko answered. "My planet frowned upon any form of creativity, but I just loved sticking it to the man." "Aw shitballs you guys, we gotta run!" the belches of a middle aged man sounded as he and his two companions, a stonefaced bird person and a catlike creature, ran for the hills to a hijacked cargo ship. "Hey, the old gang!" Haruko chirped excitedly. "Wait, the what?" Ian asked staring at the screen. "Those my boy, were the Flesh Curtains." Ford stated putting a hand on the eldest Ramirez's shoulder. "A band consisting of Rick Sanchez, an old frenemy of mine; and his two weird comrades Birdperson and Squanchy." "And it's not just them. Look." Birdperson announced pointing upward to a giant red phoenix that warped itself over Wasprus. "IT SEEMS WE HAVE A SPECIAL GUEST DISQUALIFIER!" the Cromulon boomed. "LEGENDARY PIRATE KING ATOMSK, SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT!" While Rick and his posse urged the younger Haruko to not give in, she was utterly mesmerized by Atomsk's might as she slowly stepped towards him. "Don't do it babe, that's Atomsk! His power will seriously screw with your head!" Rick warned, but Haruha didn't listen and reached out to the giant bird while her hair turned into its trademark pink. A large chain wrapped around the Pirate King's neck attached to the girl's wrist and she pulled it with all her might, eventually breaking it in two. Just as Atomsk screeched, Raharu was dragged away by Birdperson and raced to the cargo ship, escaping the doomed Wasprus in the nick of time when it completely exploded. "Welp, there goes that gig." Rick groaned in defeat taking a chug out of a flask. "How's our extra cargo doing?" "Still out squanch from Atomsk." the cat-person stated checking for a pulse just as their passenger came to. "Oh geez, what happened?" Haruha moaned rubbing her head when she took notice of the old man, the bird and the cat surrounding her. "Where am I, and who are all of you?!" "Well I can assure you miss, I am not a man in a suit that will teach you the alphabet." Birdperson answered. "You may call me Birdperson. These two are my bandmates Squanchy and Rick." "Okay, we played the name game. But where's my planet?!" Raharu shouted grabbing the two animal-like creatures by their collarbones. "Well funny story babe, might wanna squanch around and see what happened." Squanchy suggested trying to break free and the future Vespa Woman took his suggestion, gazing out the back window to find what was left of her home planet. "My home's all gone." Haruha muttered shedding a few tears, but those tears were soon replaced with a celebratory manic grin. "I'M FREE!" "Whoa now, aren't you the least bit torn up about everyone you ever loved there now pretty much dead?" Squanchy stated. "I don't care, cause no one felt that about me either!" the Flesh Curtains' passenger whooped. "No more shitty dad, no more boring job, and no more stifling of creativity!" "Hell yeah, now you're speaking my language!" Rick replied merrily. "Hey, didn't get your name lass. What do they call you?" he asked putting a microphone to the girl's mouth. "I'm Haruha Raharu." she introduced herself. "Hm, doesn't roll off the tongue as much." the drunken traveler commented. "You ever tried picking up a name like the ones in the comics like Peter Parker, Reed Richards, Billy Batson or Fred Flintstone?" "I don't believe that last one came from a comic." Birdperson tried to correct his bandmate until he was shushed. "I got a great one! How about Haruko Haruhara?" Sanchez announced pretending to knight the girl with what would become her famous Rickenbacker bass. "I like it, really does sound like those old comics!" the newly renamed Vespa Woman exclaimed. "So where to?" "Wherever the hell we want to!" Squanchy answered pointing onward before the fond memory paused itself. "Ah, the old gang. We were kinda like the Fab Four back then. Rick was Paul, Birdperson was Lennon, Squanchy was Ringo and yours truly was George." Haruko thought back to happier times with a smile. "The four of us were unstoppable! Traveling the multiverse, playing gigs, sticking it to the man, making crossovers and just having fun regardless!" Haruko managed to sneak her foot out of one of her boots to fiddle with Project Mentem and fast-forwarded through many events during her travels with Rick. In particular were running from an angry mob of robots resembling ones & zeros in a city within a computer, holding a concert for tons of excited colorful fans with gemstones on their bodies, playing with a golden snail that had a phone attached to its shell which led to an entire island being destroyed, defacing a money bin and all other sorts of mischief. "But then everything went horribly wrong when we planned what I call 'The Mechanica Mission'." she stated sadly stopping at the four nomads looking over current plans. "-ere's what we're gonna do. Haruko will infiltrate the Brotherhood and rise through their ranks so she can allow us to find Atomsk." Rick explained. "Afterwards, Squanchy will break into the Medical Mechanica factory where our contact has stated he's being held in while Birdperson & I form a distraction." "So even being a first-class space patrol officer was part of your scheme as well?!" Ford exclaimed. "To be honest, I don't know what I expected." "Don't wanna delve too much into it but in a nutshell, everything went to shit." Haruko regaled forwarding faster to a standoff between her and Rick in front of a Medical Mechanica factory with armies of insectoid aliens & Medical Machines on either side, their bandmates hovering nearby on another hijacked ship and Atomsk appearing out of a giant wormhole. "So all this time, we were just being used so that you can have sex with Atomsk?!" Rick screamed as he felt betrayed by his partner. "Pretty sure his pecker is way too big to fit in your hive! And I'm really going to regret those puns!" "But wasn't there ever a time in your life where you sought after ultimate power?!" the Vespa Woman responded sadistically. "Bitch, I've been possessed by those types before! But did I use those to turn on those I legitimately care for!" the alcoholic nihilist shouted preparing to attack with his guitar. "It's no use Rick, get back here before the portal reaches maximum instability!" Birdperson cautioned his bandmate. "I'll be back in a bit you guys, gotta settle the score first." Sanchez snarled mounting what would become Haruko's Vespa scooter and charging at her with battle cry and bass. Raharu would do the same and then, the video faded to snow leaving the four men utterly flabbergasted. "So it all makes sense now." Kanda declared shutting it off. "Or at least, as much sense as a person like Haruko can make it." "Other dimensions? Wait til the others hear about this!" Ian added excitedly. "Maybe I could pitch this to whatever big Hollywood director hasn't had their reputation ruined." "At least we finally got our answers Dipper." Ford said to his greatnephew, but he received no answer. "Dipper?" Dipper on the other hand stared emptily at the blank screen contemplating over everything they just watched. Her home planet, that crazy man, the multiverse, Medical Mechanica, Atomsk. In the time he knew Haruko, her past was a total enigma with the exception of how she was a space cop gone rogue, but even that was all a sham. He began lightly snickering while clutching his head. "Ha." he flatly laughed. "Ha ha ha. Ffnk, ahoo. Ahoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo." Dipper's sanity began tumbling down even faster before his chuckling turned into full-blown insane cackling. "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "Dipper, stop laughing and answer me!" Stanford demanded his now completely insane apprentice. "IT WAS ALL A LIE! IT WAS ALL A LIE!" Dipper screamed merrily continuing his mad chortling and smashing the screen. "YOU ARE TEARING ME APART LISA!" "Uh, has anyone seen Haruko?" Ian asked pointing out the empty stool spinning in a circle. "It seems Dipper's little episode here has given her an opportunity to flee." Ford observed on the verge of coming to a shocking conclusion. "But where could she be off t-Oh no." Just as fast as he made his realization, Ford bolted out of his study and went up the elevator to follow the lying motorist. "Where's he off to?" Kanda asked Ian. "Stan is holding a little wake for Jinyu," the eldest Ramirez son answered. "And I don't want to know what Haruko will be up to."

--

A small drum accompanied a confused rabbi singing for Julia Jinyu in front of the equally unaware attendees who are staring at Stanley and wondering among themselves why they're attending a funeral for someone who was basically unknown to them. "We have no idea who the deceased is, but I can promise she will rest in peace. May He take good care of this woman, and continue to watch over us all." the rabbi chanted before clearing his throat, switching his Jewish dialect for a growling Midwestern accent. "All right Pines, pay up!" he shouted holding out his hand and expecting cash. "Haven't got all day, have a wedding in Alabama to preside over." "Who's the lucky underage victim and their offender?" Stan asked fishing a wad of thousands out of his wheelchair. "Don't want to get anyone here mad, but it's a juicy one!" the rabbi replied with a smug grin. After snatching his bills from the old man's hand, he wordlessly allowed the audience to give their condolences before leaving. First came Senator Gideon Gleeful. Although he and Stanley made amends, there was still a friendly contempt between the two. "So how's that conspiracy against President Kitaki going?" the con-artist asked his old enemy. "Moving along quite nicely Pines. Already got the Fundshausers on my side." Gideon replied turning to Grenda & Marius with a wink and a grin. "Can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm probably going to being voting for you." Stan admitted. "The less we need of that old hag trying to ban the possibility of intergalactic travel, the better!" Next came Masurao. "Hey I know you! You're that guy from Little Asia!" the great-uncle exclaimed. "I am sorry for your loss sir, but I'm on borrowed time." Masurao apologized before scurrying outside. "What's his deal?" "So the damn thing stood up? And it's also getting foggy." Masurao stated spying on the upright iron from below with Eyepatch. "It'll go away when the sun reaches its peak." Eyepatch responded. "Did we really need to make a pitstop at the Shack on our way there?" "Even if it doesn't have a fraction of the power it once had." his partner remarked gazing upon Canti's head while Aiko spied on the two men without their knowledge. "Don't worry, just forget about it." Eyepatch assured him before they departed in a pickup truck carrying the Medical Machine's remains while the funeral continued on as normal. Eventually the two made it to an orbit elevator area in Portland where a doglike man waited for them. "Hey champ, you training hard for tomorrow?!" Eyepatch greeted the worker with a fistbump. "Oh you know, just trying to save my money." the other man replied. "Feel free to just head on in, warehouse should be up ahead." "Good on the money sport. It's important to make plans for the future y'know." Eyepatch complimented, which warranted a grumble from Masurao. When the worker tried to pick up Canti's head, it suddenly turned on for a split second. "Hey, watch how you're handling that thing Mutt!" Masurao ordered. "It's like, vintage!" "Yeah, this is pretty heavy. My bad." Mutt quickly apologized. "That thing's a piece of junk anyways champ. Hakuna matata as they always say!" Eyepatch casually stated which earned him an earful from his younger companion. "Are you insane?! Do you have any idea how much that-" "I totes got it sir." Mutt assured them. "You know, I had a hard time throwing away my first cellphone! Sentimental value is sometimes worth the most." "You don't understand at all!" Masurao continued shouting before the other two men laughed. -- Back at Jinyu's funeral in Gravity Falls, Arnold grimly faced the wall while Juan & Jorge tried to apologize. "Please, you gotta forgive us Arnie!" the twins cried bowing to the floor in shame. "We'll do anything to make it up to you! Would you like to come with us to that new amusement park opening up?" "I'd rather go with someone who won't deliberately leave me to die just because of their manliness obsession." Arnold glowered not ever taking his eyes off the wall. "But if we bring girls with us, we'll get a hefty discount! Like 99% I heard! Aiko asked me to come with her!" Juan tried appealing to their sullen friend, but he still received no answer even as Gwen entered the room. "Fine, be a jerkass for pretty much barely any rhyme or reason for all we care!" Suddenly, Haruko abruptly barged into the living room riding on her scooter and wearing Jinyu's shades, interrupting the funeral and enraging Stan. She slammed her hands on the coffin to speak to the audience. "So listen up everybody, cause I have an important announcement to make! Kay?" Haruko declared. "I am, um, gonna get married!" she announced switching into a wedding dress to everyone's bewildered cheering. "And everyone is invited! Yes I mean everyone!" "I congratulate you on your marriage madame, but this is a place of mourning. Please save your speech til after the wake." one of Gideon's bodyguards with long hair stated. "Do we have visual on crazy pregnant biker that just interrupted a funeral?" "Noted. Prepare for detainment." his black jerry-curled partner replied swapping the burger he was eating for a cattle prod. "Oh wait wait wait, you can't inflict violence on an expecting mother & housewife like that!" Haruko exclaimed turning into a homemaker with a creepy baby doll on her back. "Now let me tell you all the tale of how my husband and I, fell. In. Love." "So my hubby and I met at an amusement park in Portland, and I was there during sunset." the so-called mother narrated through children's crayon drawings. "Clumsy ol' me was about to get hit by a roller coaster when HE swept in to save me like I was a damsel in distress! It was MY HUBBY!" The final drawing depicted Haruko kissing a humanoid red bird which struck a chord in Gwen, as if she had seen him before. "So remember everyone, amusement parks are a paradise!" the Vespa Woman preached. "Forget this sobstory, let's go have so-" "HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-RUUUUUUUUU-KOOOOOOOOOOO!" Stan screamed as loud as his nearly eight decade old lungs could cut his former friend off. "Oh hey, didn't see you there Stanley! Thought this was your funeral." Haruko remarked finally realizing who the funeral was for. "Oh, for Jinyu? You guys barely even chatted!" "Don't play coy with me Haruko! You know I'm being serious since I'm not calling you Raharu!" Stan screamed while Soos & Mabel tried to hold him back. "This will be the chapter where I'll get payback for what you've done to my family all those years ago!" "Okay I just started caring, what?" a plaid-shirted man with some grey in his brown hair & goatee asked. "The rest of you get on outta here! This is between me and her!" Stan commanded and the funeral attendees ran outside just as the coffin was opened by Sammy Determined, a tanned, geeky young man with large glasses and a beauty mark on his chin. "I've been stuck in this coffin pretending to be a dead body for like half an hour. Can I go home now?" "You're excused Sam." Stan politely accepted and Sammy raced out the door within half the blink of an eye. "Anyway, I challenge you to a little standoff sweetheart! You and me, Gravity Falls pool, be there or be half of a square!" The grunkle was just about to leave when he made a mechanical arm appear to grab Arnold. "And you're coming with me Arnold, since you're just as much of a victim here." "Help me." Arnold whimpered as he was taken outside just as Ford and Tsukata burst into the living room. "Oh lord, I'm too late!" he shouted racing around the area for any sign of his brother. "I knew this would happen, I just knew." he groaned pinching the bridge of his nose when Gwen spoke up. "What would happen Greatkle Ford?" "I just knew Raharu would purposefully cut off this funeral to get Stanley's goat." Stanford answered. "Though I'm pretty sure she's lying about being pregnant." "Hey, have you seen Dipper anywhere? Haven't seen him since you kidnapped Haruko." Mabel asked for her brother while the Vespa Woman flipped him off behind her. "We just did some digging through her mind and what we found just...broke him." Kanda answered mournfully. "Who do you think is still available right now?" "Mom and Tyrone are. They're having a mother-son day in watching bad movies." Gwen answered. "Well what are you waiting for dudette? Call 'em!" Soos urged the girl. "Hey Gwennie, wouldn't you rather go to the amusement park instead? You're the one that I wanted to go." Haruko tried to make her change her mind. "I'm not going miss." Gwen quietly said picking up her phone. "GWEN-NIE!" -- "Ha ha ha ha, now I look like an even bigger idiot!" Tyrone & Wendy monotonously cackled in unison in response to the horrible costume worn by the leading man of "Invasion of The Bear-Eating Man Family" while Tyrone knitted a new sweater for Stan. "Wow, Joel Nelson clearly had no idea what made good costuming!" he laughed. "Still slightly better than the outfit he made Michelle Hodgson wear." Wendy replied. "Or lack thereof." Just then, the phone rang. "I got it!" Tyrone shouted racing to the phone, but his mother was also focused on answering which resulted in a play-fight that her son quickly won. "Pines cabin, Tyrone speaking!" Tyrone said. "Ty, thank goodness I can reach you." Gwen sighed in relief. "Listen, has Dad come home recently?" "He's holed himself up in our room a couple minutes ago after getting a can of Willy-Nilly's Coffee beans and a knife." Wendy answered. "I'm getting really worried for him. Tyrone honey, can you go up to check on your father?" "Will do Mommy!" Tyrone accepted with a salute and merrily made his way upstairs, but his cheerfulness quickly turned into dread the further he got. When he opened the door to his parents' room, there Dipper was emptily gazing at an old Petra the Pterodactyl video while munching on raw coffee beans and squeezing a Petra plush and his son's beloved stuffed pig Waddles II in his arms. "I'm asking you for a survey Nilly, do you like Willy-Nilly's Coffee?" Dipper asked through Petra to Waddles II. "No, no I don't." Waddles II replied before Petra suddenly held a knife in its tiny three-fingered hand. "Well survey says everyone does. Because anyone who doesn't gets shanked." Petra revealed about to stab the pig before Tyrone performed a diving save on his pig. "NOOOO!" "T-T-Tyrone? What are you doing?!" Dipper shouted even more neurotically than usual. "No, I wanna know what are you doing! You tried to stab Waddles daddy!" Tyrone cried hugging his father worriedly. "I'm so sorry sport, I've just been going through some things lately." the older male responded hugging him back. "Just some...revelations making me go cuckoo for cocoa." "Like what?" his son asked. "Well for example, Raharu actually came from another dimension where she met this scientist who behaved an awful lot like Stan." Mason explained. "They went on adventures across the multiverse together, playing music and causing borderline madness. Eventually they formed a plan to steal the Pirate King Atomsk from Medical Mechanica but that went south and then everything after that was just white noise." "Wow, that sounds even cooler than what you did with her Dad!" Tyrone exclaimed in awe. "Cool, kinda. Healthy, no way in Hell." Dipper concluded putting a hand on his youngest's shoulder. "We gotta find and stop her at once. Where's your sister and cousin?" "Arnold got taken by Greatkle Stan to participate in his little feud with Haruko and I'm not sure what's up with Gwen, but I really hope everything will turn out okay!" Arnold declared with optimism, blissfully unaware of the oncoming chaos while a faint knock on the door was heard. -- "I won't let you involve my family in your schemes anymore!" Stan shouted to Haruko from the other side of the empty swimming pool. "And I don't want to be involved here!" Arnold cried begging to be let go. "Please Stan, Pacifica will kick your ass hard when she hears about this!" "Oh? You think I'm the bad guy for getting your family all tangled up in my schemes, pyon?" Haruko playfully mocked standing on the other side with her red jacket over a blue one-piece. "For a wannabe white knight, you sure are quite the hypocrite." "Arnie, bass." Stanley commanded his great-great nephew as he pushed a button on the armrest of his wheelchair that transformed it into a miniature exoskeleton to help him walk properly. "Wait, since when could you do that?!" Arnold exclaimed in shock while unveiling a certain Jazzmaster for his great-great uncle to use. "There are tons of things about my wheels that you never knew about, and some you'll never know about." Stan stated taking the guitar and slinging it over his shoulder with both hands. "Well what're you waiting for? Come at me!" "Okay. Let's do this." Haruko chummily declared just as her former friend angrily charged, but she quickly blocked the bass with just her feet. "I know you're super old, but you really got no talent nya." she groaned in disappointment. The wasp continued blocking all of Stan's attempts to land a hit and when it seemed like he was finally about to score one, instead came being kicked into the pool shed. "You learned how to fight with your back, right? Cause it seems like time has made you forget!" Stan was just about ready to surrender until he spotted Arnold nervously sitting on a deck chair and got an idea. "Tag me out kid! Tag me out!" he called for the boy while reaching out his hand. "Wait, you're serious? You want me to fight her?" Arnold said curiously. "Well, this could be a chance for me to be manly without a certain duo threatening my life." The pair high-fived and Arnold picked up the Jazzmaster to use. "I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss, I'm the boss!" he quietly chanted to himself while charging forward and preparing a mighty swing, but Haruko then swiftly dodged it. "Whatever you wanna do blondie, you gotta do it with strength!" she announced sticking a perfect landing. Arnold however remained resolute and began muttering "I think I can, I think I can, I think I can, I think I can!" "This is where Stan wanted to fight Raharu!" Ford explained to Gwen & Tyrone while the three arrived at the pool but instead of seeing the other grunkle fight her, it was instead Arnold taking off his sweatervest and trying to swing again. "Use your hips, arms relaxed, chin tucked in." Haruha instructed her opponent after yet another nimble avoidance, but Arnold simply didn't listen and escaped from her grasp. "You're no good m'boy, no good at all!" "JUST STAY AWAY FROM MY FAMILY!" Arnold howled rigorously trying one last time to smack her, but was knocked down with a small tap and a declaration of "Oint." "Stan, do you have any idea what in God's name you're doing to Arnold?!" Ford hissed from the other side of the chain fence to his brother. "Don't go accusing me, the kid's just as much a victim as the rest of us!" Stan replied with a holler. "Okay, maybe I am partially to blame." "Go get'er cuz, show her what we've taught you!" Tyrone cheered for his cousin before he suddenly realized that he cheered a bit too late. "Oh right, you're down for the count. Sorry!" "If strength was measured by the hits one took, then you wouldn't be considered such a loser." Haruko said to Arnold while her bracelet began tingling once again. "To be honest, I thought you'd be better given your heritage. That's why you were taught all those things, to increase your manliness I heard. But I guess all those were for nothing because you know just about as much." As Gwen watched, something in her began trembling and her hat glowed faintly. "That's where you're wrong Raharu. You don't know anything either." Arnold argued bravely to her confusion. "The truth is, I'm completely unsatisfied!" This angered Haruko before she decided to remove her jacket right on top of the boy, which finally made Gwen go berserk. The force given off by her beanie blasted the door away and rapidly sucked Arnold inside her head. "Wait, what's going on!?" "He was right. Pacifica's gonna put all of us in the morgue." Stan regarded fearfully realizing his huge mistake when the absorption concluded leaving everyone shocked. All that was left was a bizarre black cutout with Arnold's Northwest ring on the finger. "Uh, my bad! Things will probably get worse than usual this time around." Haruko sheepishly apologized before mounting on her Vespa and preparing to take off. "I'll be waiting. She zoomed off leaving the four Pines and what was left of Arnold at the pool. "Hey, get back here you bitchy bassist! We still haven't settled our score yet!" Stan cursed angrily shaking his fists at the clouds. Gwen in comparison was utterly heartbroken by what she did to her cousin. "Oh I am so sorry about what happened to Arnold little lady." Ford said trying to comfort her. "You know, this reminds me of my Backupsmore days. Our school just won a cross-country event and we decided to celebrate by tearing everything apart. You should've seen the pool! They flipped the bitch!" "Where were you during that time?" Tyrone asked. "My roommate and I didn't want to take any part in the riot for safety reasons, so we went out for Italian." his genius great-grunkle answered. "I only wanted to lighten the mood after what happened just now, but I'm not sure how it'll work." -- Across town, business was booming at the amusement park with dozens of excited visitors of all ages stampeding through the entrance, most of them being couples. The Ramirez children were among these couples most notably Leia & Ezra, leaving Ian to watch over Juan, Jorge and Abby. "Does anyone have an idea on where Imelda is?" Ian asked his younger siblings while taking a bite out of some confectionery treats from the food stands. "She said that she got a part-time job here but hasn't come back." "While I'm just as concerned for Mel, all I want to know is WHERE IS AIKO?!" Juan cried out furiously typing on his phone. Elsewhere in the park, Tonkichi quietly observed two men fighting for the love of a girl and accidentally getting caught in each other before a red force took over their heads. "Excuse me sir, how much longer will this test ride go on?" Imelda asked Tonkichi. "Oh not too much longer." the theme park owner assured the seven-year-old. "All you gotta do is just stay right there my girl." As for Masurao, he was currently examining the park's webpage with Eyepatch. "Wait, hold on. Not that one." his senior citizen superior stated. "What? I thought it was Mr. Dodo." Masurao replied. "Don't you forget that we're dealing with super top secret stuff here, so that means we must activate the hidden communication mode." Eyepatch advised the younger male. "Go to the shopping section and push the little kiwi strap." "Which one?" Masurao exclaimed trying to find that strap. "The fluffy one right down there." On Eyepatch's commands, Masurao clicked on the image of a kiwi that led the two to a dining menu page. "Are you sure? The link went to a menu." he muttered in confusion. "Now just push She's So Chicky Wings." When he clicked on the menu item, it then guided to an article on one of the rides. "The Icarus Fall is the world's third-fastest falling ride?" "Wait wait wait, go back up!" Eyepatch shouted. "That's gotta be it, the falling one!" he added excitedly. "Uh, they're all falling." Masurao responded not knowing what his boss just said. "The one with the little emu!" "But which one?" "The one with the fluffy wings!" "You have to be more specific!" "THERE!" With a smack of his cane, Eyepatch made Masurao tap the emu which made Tonkichi appear on a video screen in his dodo costume. "Hello there, it's Mr. Dodo!" he merrily greeted them. "It's me." Masurao stoically greeted. "Don't be so sorry. Sometimes a kid will come calling me." the receiver grimly replied when another child greeted him. "Hi Mr. Dodo!" "Hey kid!" Tonkichi waved his wing at the passing child before returning to his teammates. "And any updates from Kanda?" "Nothing yet, though he has promised." Masurao answered. "But we did see the recently installed viking ship. We'll also have to deal with Immigration matters, but I don't want to rush you too much." "And what of the flower pot? Is it complete yet?" Tonkichi continued asking. "Uh sure. It can be activated at any time." Masurao muttered nervously. "The plant is online, alright!" Eyepatch declared, but their partner was too busy trying to greet a pair of girls who didn't want to be near him. "Can you please focus on your real job and see the data I sent you?" the younger redhead groaned incredulously. "This is a real job too!" Tonkichi argued. "Don't you know that this park helps fun-" "Do you think we can make do without that pot?" Eyepatch asked his colleague as the latter closed the video on Tonkichi and Aiko overheard their conversation. "I doubt it." Masurao groaned in defeat. "If you can't activate the flower pot, any backup plans we come up with will be useless!" "Shut up, I know that!" Aiko's father exclaimed while his daughter went upstairs to look for money she made off her dating service in a jack-o-lantern situated in her closet. "Aiko." Masurao called for his daughter while she frantically closed the closet door. "What is it?" the girl asked and her dad just looked down for a moment. -- "So which one of us do you think Pacifica will kill first?" Stan asked while Tyrone helped put his wheelchair back together, Gwen examined the balloon that was once her cousin and Ford collected some leftover pool water that he put into a beaker. "Personally, I'm betting on you poindexter since you started all this by bringing Gwen here." "I started this?!" Ford shouted angrily. "You're the one who's fostered this animosity with Raharu for literally twenty years ever since she first left us!" Still fuming, the scientist examined the beaker he had just used along with four others containing radioactive waste, soy sauce, machine oil and a strand of pink hair. "And what are you up to?" Stan asked gazing at the beakers. "Just been experimenting on some substances to make a superhuman formula. Just got some pool water from here, soy sauce from Little Asia, radioactive sludge from Scuttlebutt Island, machine oil and some of Raharu's hair." "How is that going to do anything of substance you nerd?" Stanley hissed. "Well, other than probably give you a killer stomachache." "It's still highly experimental brother, so maybe there is a chance of a killer stomachache." Stanford agreed before the two great-grunkles gazed at Gwen holding the balloon in her arms. "S-so thirsty." a familiar voice croaked through Arnold's ring. "W-water." "Great Caesar's ghost, he's alive!" Tyrone exclaimed while his big sister took the balloon to the pool showers. "Hey, put on a smile sis! Arnold's still out there!" he tried to cheer her up when the showers seemingly activated on command. "I don't want to remember what happened this morning." Gwen monologued reminiscing to earlier that day in manga form. -- "Oh good morning Gwennie!" Wendy greeted her daughter coming down the stairs. "Check it out, Jinyu left us so many clean & unbroken plates." Gwen however wasn't interested. "Something the matter my little pecan pie?" her mother asked. "I'm just back to my normal self, that's all." "No, you seem eerily different." Wendy said concernedly just as her daughter stepped outside and she realized something. "I've...changed?" Gwen stuttered going back inside to find her mom packing some small boxes. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Just...have fun at the Shack little dude. And tell Stan I send my condolences." Wendy said trying to dodge the question. "And also tell Arnold his aunt says hey!" "Seriously mom, why are you packing? Are we going to move?!" Gwen shouted suddenly getting angry. "I thought Dad wanted to stay here to catalogue all the weird crap going on here and hang with Aunt Mabel!" Wendy frowned to herself over her daughter's feelings before turning back to her. "I think it's time we try something different. Y'know, I always wanted to live in Portland." That was when Gwen's beanie beeping began to coincide with her bursting into tears. -- Returning to the present, the shower stopped and the balloon began to inflate in Gwen's arms. "Hey, is this about losing Jinyu, Greatkle Stan getting mad at Haruko, or losing Arnold?" Tyrone tried to console the older girl. "I'm here for you if you wanna shoulder to cry on." The balloon reached its maximum size and drifted to the ceiling above the kids. Taking a poolstick, Gwen grabbed it and took it outside where it was properly able to ascend. And then, as her beanie began blinking once again, she made a miniature crater beneath her feet which horrified her present family. "Find, the others, now." Ford muttered. -- "Hi, I'm Mr. Dodo!" Tonkichi greeted the happy couples in his mascot costume, but none were paying attention. "Looks like everyone's having a great time, am I right? Hey! Boys and girls!" he exclaimed while a group of employees armed with firearms assembled behind him. "You're all just little brats who still don't have all your hair down there! Sorry, but you're all pretty much useless!" The employees then aimed their weapons at the unknowing parkgoers on command. "FIRE!" Tonkichi ordered. "Sorry, wrong voice." he realized clearing his throat and switching to a deeper voice. "FIRE!" The weapons launched a series of red beams that tagged everyone and making the same red force appear in their heads. "THIS IS WHY I DON'T TRUST THEME PARKS!" Ezra screamed in pain as he and Leia became victims as well. "If I don't make it out of here alive, I want you to know Leia that I really do love you, and I'm basically a tsundere!" "Ha, called it!" Leia chuckled before she went back to screaming and gazed terrified at her brother. "Ian, get the kids away and we'll all catch up later! You four are the only single ones here!" she shouted to Ian. "Right! Juan, Jorge, Abby, come with me!" "But where do we find them? Where do we find Mommy and Daddy?!" Abby cried as Jorge took her arm. "Not sure, but they're probably just as lost as all the other couples here are!" Juan exclaimed racing off. The energy collected from the visitors soon filled up all the big rides at the park and caused them to lift themselves out of their supports. "They started already?!" Masurao shouted watching the chaos from afar. "I have to warn the Pines." Tsukata declared gazing through his binoculars. The attractions gathered around the big castle at the center, including the viking ship that Imelda was trapped on, and formed into a giant robot. "Captain, I don't think we'll make it!" one of the employees shouted. "We've got to do it! No matter the cost, we'll show them all!" Tonkichi declared bravely as the castle bot faced the upright Medical Mechanica iron. "They may smooth out our brains, but they'll never smooth out our freedom! START THE ATTAAAAACK!" The castle robot launched everything it got at the giant iron, but nothing worked and the factory in turn blasted a giant laser that instantly burnt the opposing machine to cinders. -- Far above Earth, Arnold's inflated husk drifted out of the atmosphere and towards an Immigration Control Center satellite storing lost items. A mechanical hand snatched the balloon and tossed it down the chute to be scanned & later dumped into the old Gravity Falls junkyard which attracted the attention of a familiar-looking robot dog. "Well I'll be. Aren't you just the cutest little thing?" Older Man McGucket greeted the little mutt. "Hey I know you! You're that spindly johnny who followed the kids around!" The genius hillbilly scooped up some of the trash from the box it was dumped in, including Arnold's remains, and put it in a dog bowl for the canine machine to eat. "Eat up now little feller!" -- Back at the amusement park, Haruko was spectating the whole battle when she felt her stomach return to its normal size. "So they're still doin' it, huh?" she mumbled getting back to her entertainment when she saw a few familiar faces. "For the record, we already knew something was up long before you warned us!" Ford shouted to Kanda when he spotted Haruko. "Raharu! Can't believe I'm saying this, but we got a problem!" Along with the Stans, Tyrone, Dipper, Mabel, Wendy, Ian, Leia, Juan & Jorge, Abby, Ezra, Soos, Melody, a very angry Pacifica preparing to use a broken bottle as a shiv and Kanda was a now cybernetic Gwen glaring furiously at the Vespa Woman. "Lookin' good Gwennie!" Haruko complimented with a wolf whistle and a nosebleed. "You're really killing it!" Gwen didn't reply with her words, but instead with a gold battering ram launching from her robot arm. "Just so we can all reach a compromise, all of you are to blame for this!" Pacifica shouted tranquilly. "Whoa, hold on all y'all!" Haruko exclaimed avoiding the younger girl by jumping on the roller coaster tracks. "Stop it, I didn't do nothing wrong!" "BULL-FUDGING-SHIT RAHARU!" Stan cursed as Gwen followed his former partner preparing to use the other Mustang to help his great-great niece. "All I did was give you all a little nudge, reignited some old passions, helped you with your dreams, s'all!" "Give him back! Give Arnold back!" Gwen screamed continuously attempting to hit her. "Wah-ho! Guess the Pines still have quite a lot of fight in them!" Haruko exclaimed before she found Dipper, Mabel and Pacifica right behind her. "Give me back my son or else." Pacifica hissed arming herself with Jinyu's Jazzmaster. Before anyone of them could fight, Haruhara surfed away further up the coaster rails. "In the end, you're no different from the rest of us!" Gwen snarled leaping away from her family to give pursuit. "It's all because you're in love with that weird bird, right? You're just another girl stupidly in love!" "See, like I kept telling you Raharu! You can't force someone to love you!" Dipper agreed with his daughter. "Oh quit parroting Mason or I'll shove crackers down your throat to shut you up!" Haruko shouted to the Pines father before she noticed her bracelet starting to react to something amiss. "Huh?" "Uh, dudes!" Soos exclaimed gazing up at the reddening sky. "Is the multiverse going all kaput or am I thinking of some other cataclysmic event?" he asked cuing the others to look up as well. "No. Way." Ford & Kanda boomed in shock. Soon everybody important to the story gazed up at the sky and Haruko realized just who it was. "It's Atomsk." -- AT LAST, IT IS DONE! I started kinda late on this chapter, but it was all worth it to finally beat my deadline. What will become of the Pines family and friends? Will Haruko finally control Atomsk? Why does McGucket recognize that oddly familiar dog? Join us next time for the final chapter of Fooly Falls 2: Ride on Shooting Star and be sure to read my other works for more!

[professortennant]

Sam/Jack Rec List, Pt. 1

This is mostly for me in case my bookmarks are lost but yeah! I’ve gone through like 90% of AO3, a good chunk of ff.net, and I just dived into LJ. But since I have 103 fics already bookmarked, I’m just gonna put this list up first and then add to it later. 

Plz read the tags of each fic to avoid stuff you don’t wanna read. If you read something and love it, GO TELL THE AUTHOR SO THEY WRITE MORE.

Absolute Fucking Favorites (aka I have read these more times than I feel comfortable admitting)

We Made It Series: A series of connected episode tags beginning with Forever in a Day. Sam shows up on Jack's doorstep with a six pack of beer, a bottle of cheap wine and a package of chicken breasts. Jack's confused. They cook dinner.

Taking Christmas Off: How Sam and Jack end up spending Christmas alone together every single year, accidentally at first, and then very much on purpose. A fluffy/shippy Christmas fic in eight parts, with spoilers through season 8.

The Dreams We Left Behind: The day Sam Carter marries Pete Shanahan is not the worst day of Jack’s life; he’s already lived that day. But that doesn't make it easy.

Like Kissing a Stranger: There is not one day he spends on this planet, or any other, that his mouth doesn't get him into trouble.(An episode tag for Point Of View.)

Retrospective: Sam doesn’t give it a name, this feeling. She doesn’t even think about it much, preferring to glimpse it obliquely from the corner of her eye. It’s a secret delight that she shares with no one, scarcely even herself.One story in eight parts charting Sam and Jack’s relationship from the start of S1 to the end of S8.

The Short Straw: She hadn't set out to cheat, certainly, but had thought that she'd at least be able to interpret her own work in a way that would lead to victory. (Tag for Shades of Grey)

Post-Eps/Episode Tags (except for Threads, which is its own category)

The Price of Edora: Sam suffers the consequences of pushing herself too hard in order to bring Jack back from Edora. 

For Just One Taste of This: After that, though, things got tricky and dangerous because they pushed a little more and went a little (a lot) further off that deep end, and soon it was the two of them alone in the empty barracks and this wasn’t wrong, was it, just sitting side by side in the darkness? (Post Divide and Conquer)

Let Your Demons Run: (here can't be that many eyes in the building that haven't noticed her. Post-ep for Entity.

Midnight at the Oasis: What if Abydos wasn't destroyed, and Jack and Sam really did go to Skaara's wedding? A short AU based on the wonderful (!) exchange among the three at the beginning of Full Circle.

Thyself, Unknown: And then they were strangers again and their world was brand new with signs of aging. Beneath the Surface 

Unlearn your Stars: Thera turned her eyes toward the ceiling, as if she could see through the miles of earth and snow to the sky beyond. Something about her seemed to yearn, and for reasons he could not fathom Jonah felt like Thera belonged there. Among the stars. (Beneath the Surface)

Transcendental: Alternate Sam and Jack who got stranded in the alternate timeline in Moebius. 

The Fundamental Theorem of Samantha Carter: Samantha Carter knew precisely what she wanted. And then she didn’t. S.8 Full Alert through Threads with references to Gemini.

The Rainy Season: Tag for The Light. Their arguing was beginning to grate on her nerves.

Icarus Ascending: What if Jack and Sam didn't keep it in the room after all? A/U tag to Divide and Conquer. 

The Space Between: There's a little space between them on the bed. Small enough to be close, but enough space to remind them where the line should be. (tag for Death Knell.)

Mimesis: Jack tries to help Carter deal with her time spent with Fifth and the Replicators.

A Rush of Blood to the Head: "You volunteering to come with me, Carter?" Sam and Jack deal (or don't) with the creation of mini!Jack.

The Breaking Point: Daniel’s ‘death’ in Meridian forces Sam Carter to reevaluate her life and what really matters to her.

Window on a Room: The first time around, Sam had found that face the Colonel was making to be endearing, in the increasingly problematic way she found pretty much everything he did to be endearing. The second time, she had found it alarming - not the Colonel specifically, of course, just the fact that she’d already experienced that exact moment not ten hours earlier. She went from being alarmed on the second loop to being frustrated, baffled and discouraged in subsequent loops as their attempts to stop the looping had all failed. And now that they had settled into this routine, with Sam and Teal’c, loop after loop, learning to translate the altar text themselves, well now she was just tired. Not even the Colonel’s problematically endearing face was helping.Another loop, she thought to herself. Here we go again.

black holes and revelations: It’s late and dark and as far as she’s concerned, the world has stopped for them (they’d done the Earth a few favors, it's time one was returned).

Lifelines: Everyone expects her to be so resilient--but beneath her calm exterior seethe emotions beyond her control and understanding. Months post "Beneath the Surface", Sam finally has to face it all, and find a way to accept the way things have to be.

Reflections on a Broken Surface: Episode tag to Beneath the Surface. How Sam and Jack became a couple in the ep. 

Tilting at Windmills: Jack's struggling to deal with the events of Euronda and Alar's people. Angry, depressed, and alone, he needs Sam's help to find his way home, literally, and figuratively.

untitled: Sam/Jack, word prompt- 'never' Episode tag to Death Knell

the art of reincarnation: Detoxing in a Goa’uld palace, Jack struggles with something he can't let go, and Sam struggles with everything.

Cracks in the Glass: Doctor Carter has stepped through the mirror-seeking refuge from her ravaged world. Her presence forces Sam and Jack to question their own decisions. Sam and Jack focused episode enhancement to "Point of View".

Before the Invitation: A chance meeting in the commissary leads to some unintended revelations. (Set just prior to 'Nemesis')

Threads

Full Disclosure: She looks at him with that complex expression that’s punctuated their relationship ever since Pete barged onto the scene. The one that looks like a question, or a plea – the one he’s never really understood and has never dared pursue.

Down to the Bone: She knows now, what’s essential.

Sooner: Some bonus scenes for "Threads," because a lot went on in and around that episode that we just didn't get to see.

an angel came down: The first Christmas after her father dies is rough. The second Christmas after her father dies is better.

Breathe In: It wasn’t an immediate thing, despite what people thought. They didn’t jump each other the second SG1 was on vacation, with her emotionally vulnerable after her father’s death and no longer engaged, or him now free of SG Command and DC-bound.

Sam or Jack are Tortured/Abused (but it ends happily)

Primary Emotion: After seventeen weeks of torture in a Goa'uld prison, Samantha Carter is rescued by SG-1. In the time that follows she must relearn how to relate to her team, reassess her relationships with both herself and others, and decide whether or not she'll continue to step through the Stargate. Luckily she's got the benefit of a good psychologist and the love of a great man.

Character: SG1 is kidnapped by an alien king who needs Sam to perpetuate his bloodline & will do anything to possess her. The team must find a way to escape before she pays the ultimate price for her defiance. 

Compos Mentis: After Colonel O'Neill is stranded on a seemingly friendly planet, it's up to his team to rescue him. Who they find, though, isn't the man they left behind.

Crawl from the Chasm: After Jack's experiences in Ba'al's Abyss, he struggles to find peace. Angsty Jack/Sam Ship.

After All: They’d been trapped for a month. He’d been tortured within an inch of her life. And then their roles had been reversed.

All We Need of Hell: Jack is captured and tortured and when he returns, he just doesn’t see the point in following the regs anymore--Sam is essential. And he convinces her to forget the regs, too. (Dark fic). (chap 2)

Aliens Made Them Do It

Auctions and Consequences: Slavery has been abolished for good reason, but apparently not everyone got the memo… landing Sam and Jack in hot water.

Auction and Reaction (sequel to the above): Jack manages to get himself captured and Sam is sent to negotiate for his freedom. Unfortunately, the matriarch in charge of the male slaves is unconvinced of her claim and threatens to keep Jack as her personal slave.

Relief: How they'd managed to gate to a planet right in the middle of their annual fertility festival was beyond him.

in doorways and dreams i run to you: They had stepped through the gate together. They were looking for something.Light.There had been a blinding light and then nothing. Nothing but the heat and the taste of his skin on her lips. And now he was on his knees and she wasn't stopping him from sliding a hand underneath her.

Beautiful Far Away: While on a routine exploratory mission, Colonel Jack O'Neill and Captain Samantha Carter get caught up in a children's game that turns out to be the beginning of Rorilian marriage rites. When seismic activity starts to rock the village, the local leaders demand the ritual be seen through to its natural conclusion to avoid further angering their gods. Sam's equipment suggests the tremors are caused by an unidentifiable metal, but her science seems to be a point of contention amongst the leaders. She's convinced she needs just a little more time to figure out what is happening on the planet. Unfortunately, that means she's jumping into a ritual marriage with her new commanding officer. What could possibly go wrong?

Xanadu: The team travels offworld to take care of some mining negotiations, only to meet with an unanticipated challenge on P3X-427.

5 Times Fic

Five Times Jack Sees Sam Out of Uniform

The Nature We Leave Behind Us: 5 Times Daniel (and Teal’c) find out or suspect about Sam and Jack

Five Times Jack Came Close to Breaking the Frat Regs with Sam

Desperation: 5 times Jack kisses Sam

Ambient: 3 morning-afters that they miss and 1 they don’t.

5 missing ship scenes from s9/s10

5 times jack asked sam out and 1 time he didn’t have to

Stranded/Retired/Moved Off-World

My Scars Healed (aka the Cottage AU): Abandoned off-world, living is about more than just survival.

In Media Res: When Sam and Jack are taken captive and put to work in a mining camp, that turns out to be the least of their troubles. Forced by circumstance to live in close proximity, their time as captives has consequences neither one foresees.

Compliance: The end comes fast. One moment it’s a normal day with paperwork and bad coffee and the next it’s a scramble for the event horizon as the Mountain comes down around them. The base empties out with surprising efficiency, and by the time Jack hangs up the red phone on the last conversation he’ll ever have with the President, only Carter and Daniel and a couple techs are still in the gate room, the last of the supplies being sent through to their fall back site.

I Love It When a Plan Comes Together: Dear Airline, I was marooned on an alien planet…

And then I dreamt of yes: The universe has really bad timing, but neither Sam or Jack is ready to give it the last word. 

The Final Straw: Sam's injured and trapped off-world. 

Twilight: General O'Neill gets ansty to do some Gate travel, but a natural phenomenon on another world causes problems and changes things

Bird Stealing Bread: Jack had actually imagined being stranded off-world quite a few times. But he really, really, really hadn't counted on being stranded off-world with Sam. And Pete.

Under the Sun: ABANDONED FIC BUT IT’S SO GOOD. When lightning strikes the DHD and strands Sam and Jack alone on a planet, they must rely on one another to get through until help can arrive. Soon, though, they discover they're not alone on the planet and things change. Suddenly they're thrust into local politics and Sam is drafted to help save the locals' lives. Perhaps, if they play their cards right, all of it can help them get home.

Total AU

String Theory: Dr. Samantha Carter joins the SGC and discovers a life she never expected.

Imprimatura: Even in a completely different reality, where a strictly enforced color-based caste system stands between them, some things remain the same.

How to Start a Fire: She denies it's physical attraction. He denies it's anything but. Sam/Jack. Changeling Universe.

Convergence Series: Jack O’Neill is a man waiting to die, and she’s the only one brave enough not to look away.

Right as rain: Jack never went on the Abydos mission. Charlie never died. But when Jack accidentally activates a device that Kawalsky brings by the Academy, he catches the interest of a certain Major Carter. Soon he finds himself in for one hell of a ride, and if aliens and space travel and weird DNA weren't crazy enough, he might actually be falling in love with a theoretical astrophysicist...

The Dating Game: Catherine Langford had been instrumental in getting AU Sam/Jack together in There But For The Grace of God

Defining Family: Set after "Ripple Effect". What happens to Janet and the rest of the alternate SG-1 team after the episode? How does it affect our reality?

Worlds Apart: An Ancient device sends Jack and Sam to a world where everything is just a little bit... wrong. Why? Can they cope with the differences? And, most importantly, can they find their way back?

I don’t know what to categorize these as but they’re amazing

Deep City Lights: He picks her up in a blue convertible. (Road trip fic where they say ‘fuck the regs’ and then remember the regs)

we build then we break (and build up again): Sam’s last mission on SG-1, and the life that follows.

the slow revelation of self: In the beginning there was sex. And it was good.

untitled: on a mission, sam and jack are painting their mark on a wall.

things not dreamed: Daniel doesn't understand their need to fly. 

Cultural Drift: Six days before the shit hit the fan and nothing was ever the same again, Daniel fell over a tablet on P3X-324. That was two years ago.

Concentric Unto Thee: Her attempts at normality have never worked before, and Jack won't stand for any attempts to apply the logic of command to their relationship.

the lesson: Jack and Sam haven’t wasted the three years they’ve been cut off from Earth…and though the price is high, they manage to teach that lesson to another couple who badly needed to learn it. 

Escape Pod: "I just need," shift, "to move," shift, "a little." (Accidental Stimulation fic) Tonight: It's been too many years of it, the death, the resurrection, the sheer and aching loneliness, the hurt that comes from walking away.

Rocket Fuel: Sam and Jack get together after Heroes but also AU + Christmas.

Home Economics:  He would never have imagined that the biggest problem Sam Carter would have with his house would be his toaster.

Atlantis/Continuum

Gravity Always Wins in the End: After Sam is held hostage, Jack takes an impromptu trip to Atlantis.

Backlit:  Carter turns 43 years old on day 6 of a 14-day run to P98-007 aboard the General Hammond. The only events that mark the occasion are the little note Daniel must have stuffed into her pack before she left, a cheerful "Happy Birthday, Ma'am" from her second over a morning cup of coffee, and a long stare at herself in the mirror after she washes her face before bed. It's not like she expected more.

Yesterday’s Life: She feels frayed and faded, like a scrap of fabric accidentally discarded and forced to weather the elements. S/J, spoilers for Stargate: Continuum.

Distance: Sam contemplates the difficulties of a long distance relationship with Jack on Valentine's Day...

Post-Series

Look Again Into Your Heart: It's not that cold, not by the standard of some of the places she's been in the last decade or so of her life, but then again, she's not used to braving the weather in heels and an evening dress.

Follow the Star of the North: When Jack talked about losing himself in Minnesota, Sam never really understood the appeal.

Radio Silence: “It’s Mitchell.”He grabbed the phone out of her hand, smiling at the horrified expression on her face when he flicked it open and held it to his ear.“This is General O’Neill. Is the world ending?”

Rainy Days: Sam and Jack spend a rainy day at the cabin

The Lies You Feed Yourself: They simply aren’t part of each other’s worlds anymore. They haven’t been for years. Jack and Sam three years after they leave the SGC.

Bygones: He's a man of few words. Sam, however, wants to hear a couple of specific ones - at least once. It takes another woman to help her understand just how her husband communicates. 

Twelve Years Two Weeks: She had finally 'switched off'. It had taken her a few days to rid herself of the itch that she was neglecting a to-do list the size of her arm.

DC Series: SG-1 is moving on, but Sam is standing still.

Interlude: Jack turns up unexpectedly, and he and Sam make an important decision.

fly me to the moon: Jack is baffled. What do you do for a woman's 40th birthday when she routinely explores alien planets, has blown up a sun, and raced in the Loop of Kon Garat? Give her the moon of course. 

Folding a Map: Distance makes Jack an unhappy camper.

Taur’i Whispers: "He likes her throaty laugh. He likes that her voice has dropped and softened in the years he's known her." - Sam/Jack, romance and a bit of angst and hurt/comfort

Blue Dark: The sun’s barely peeking above the horizon and already she’s up, perched on a stool at the breakfast bar in his kitchen, her index finger circling the rim of her coffee cup.“And we have to go to this?” she asks, taking a sip of the hot beverage.

Un-fish: “Caught any un-fish?” she asked softly.Their lives would never be normal because of little things like fish that were or were not there and sometimes he wondered who had done what exactly to his pond to drive the fish away. He knew better than to ask, unwilling to listen to her explain to him the various possibilities of… whatever.

Real Life: This was what she'd been waiting for, held out for all those years. Someone -- him -- to come home with every night, to sink into after saving the world or spending three days dug in on an alien planet with fifty-odd Jaffa between her team and the 'gate, someone who knew just how she liked to be touched... She rolled onto her back, offering sleepy kisses when his lips crossed hers, sighing when his wandering hands brushed across her belly...