#but in THAT MOMENT the only thing she's thinking about is her own pain and suffering
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I've recently been inspired by @steviewashere's posts about gay steve and this is the outcome of that :)
Steve was almost bamboozled by Robin.
He just didn't quite get it.
It seemed that, for her, in spite of the fear and hiding that came with being gay, she loved it about herself. She allowed herself to become blushing and gooey when she talked about girls with safe people.
In the privacy of her friendships, it was almost like she was the same as anyone else. A hormonal, perpetually embarrassed teenager jumping from crush to crush.
But being gay haunted Steve.
Every time his eyes lingered just a little bit too long, and every time he felt absolutely nothing kissing a girl left him feeling sick to his stomach.
Its something he can't face.
Won't face.
He hasn't told a soul.
That's why he's filled with a sense of dread when Robin asks him to go with her to a gay club she heard about in Indy.
He knows that she's looking for the support of a friend, and he wants so desperately to be that for her. But she doesn't know. Doesn't know that when a man hits on Steve they'll see right through him. He won't be able to hide.
It's not her fault she doesn't know, though.
So he goes anyway. He sticks by her side until she ushers him away whining that he was "scaring off the babes".
He gets a drink, and he dances. And someone starts flirting with him. Not just anyone, but a man. Because they're allowed to do that here. And that's wonderful.
With the extra bravery from the alcohol coursing through his veins, he thinks "when in Rome...".
He lets go of the weight of hiding that pains him each and every day.
By the end of the night, they're kissing to the Bronski Beat song blaring on the dance floor.
It started off soft, and gentle and beautiful. With whispers exchanged between kisses, kept in their own little bubble only for them. Leaving Steve feeling warm and gooey.
Then it turned to something dirtier, needier. And Steve had never felt so many things at once in his life. Desire, fear, want, acceptance, hatred, and above all a desperation never to let this go.
Something in him was changed. In a single moment, he realised that he could never go back to the denial. He had discovered something beautiful. The weightlessness of being who really was.
He felt a bone deep kind of joy.
As he and Robin left the bar, wandering to a nearby park, they exchanged teary admissions, bearing their hearts to each other.
Once they make it to the park, they lay in the grass, yelling out "I'm a homosexual!" into the void of Indianapolis and 2 am. Their yells a confusing combination of admission and a statement of pride.
They know that they have to stay hidden in their small-minded town. They know their lives will be hard. Their fears do not evaporate purely because of a moment of comradery.
But the endeavor to accept themselves and each other makes life so so much better.
#steve harrington#gay steve harrington#platonic stobin#platonic soulmates#stobin#they love each other so much#steddie#eventually
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long journey
nicholas chavez x wife!reader
a/n: heyyyy guysâŠ.sorry ive been MIA and not active lately BUT school has been so hectic so i just finished finals AYYYY anyway ill def be more active these days coming cus im finally on break so expect some fun stuff. enjoy ;)
based on this request: Can you do one where Nicholas and Yn have a son and the little boy (even though he's a toddler) he's already taking strides towards independence and Nicholas is feeling the growing pains of letting go and still wants to keep his son little still?
Me and Nicholas sat on the couch, quietly watching our son, Ethan, as he carefully stacked his toy blocks, his little tongue sticking out in concentration. At just three years old, Ethan was becoming increasingly independent, a fact that filled his parents with both pride and a bittersweet sense of nostalgia.
âLook at him,â I murmured, my voice tinged with awe. âHeâs getting so big. He didnât even need our help with that tower.â
Nicholas glanced over at Ethan, a pang of something he couldnât quite describe tugging at his chest. âYeah, heâs growing up too fast.â His voice was softer now, almost wistful. âI canât believe how much heâs learning every day. One minute, heâs asking for me to tie his shoes, and the next, heâs doing it on his own.â
I smiled, sensing the weight behind his words. I knew that Nicholas, a natural protector, was having a harder time adjusting to the fact that our little boy was no longer a baby. Heâd been so hands-on, so involved in every little milestone, and now, Ethan was starting to take more and more steps on his own.
âI think itâs a good thing,â I said gently, taking Nicholasâs hand. âHeâs becoming more confident. Itâs a sign of how well weâve done.â
Nicholas nodded but still seemed unsure. âI know, I just⊠I donât want him to grow up too fast. Thereâs something about him asking me for help that makes me feel needed, like he still wants to be my little boy. I guess Iâm not ready to let that go yet.â
My heart softened. I could see the deep love Nicholas had for our son, the quiet protectiveness that defined him as a father. But I also knew that the process of letting go was part of the journeyâone that both parents had to navigate together.
âEthan will always need you,â she said, her voice reassuring. âJust in different ways. Heâs going to keep growing, but that doesnât mean we lose the moments we have now. We get to watch him become someone new, someone amazing. And weâll be there every step of the way.â
Nicholas watched as Ethan, oblivious to the conversation, triumphantly added the final block to his tower. The little boy clapped his hands, beaming with pride, and looked up at his parents, his eyes bright.
âLook, Daddy!â Ethan said, holding up the tower with both hands. âI did it!â
Nicholas smiled, his heart swelling with emotion. âYou did, buddy. You did.â
For a moment, he realized that even though Ethan was becoming more independent, he would always be our little boy. The feeling of being needed might change, but the love and connection would only grow stronger.
Nicholas reached down to ruffle Ethanâs hair, a tear threatening to well up in his eye, but he blinked it away with a soft laugh. âGuess Iâm just going to have to keep up with you, huh, kiddo?â
Ethan giggled and gave him a tight hug, and in that hug, Nicholas found a comfortâa reminder that no matter how much Ethan grew, he would always be his son.
#nicholas alexander chavez#nicholas chavez imagine#nicholas chavez#nicholas chavez x reader#nicholas chavez x y/n#nicholaschavezimagines#nicholas chavez imagines#charlie mayhew x reader#charliemayhewimagine#charliemayhewimagines#nicholas chavez fanfiction#nicholas alexander chavez fanfic#nicholas chavez fluff
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Arcane and Character's Breaking Point.
One of the complaints I've seen floating around regarding season 2 of Arcane is that a lot of the characters act in a way they shouldn't. That acording to their characteristics they wouldn't react or do certain actions and they are instead dictated by the plot, and while I don't want to completly disregard that opinion, I think people are forgetting that the show wants you to see the characters as more than just archetypes and instead as real people.
And people have their breaking points, people never act the way they should in stressful situations, even if with the benefit of hindsight or a 3rd person perspective we can opine how they should have handled it, it's only because we are divorced from the moment, away from the emotions and conflicts.
Let's talk Vi. Vi is a great example of this because I'd say she has 3 breaking points.
If you were to describe Vi or look her up in a wiki one of the things you'd find out is that 'Vi is a protector, Vi cares for her family'. And that is factually true, above all else she fights for and to protect her loved ones, and the show highlights this repeatedly, to the point that it's very often detrimental to her. But she's more than just the words 'Protector' tattooed onto her forehead, she is a real human (in the story terms) and so, when pushed to her limit, she snaps, and interestingly in the three different ways.
The most famous one is when she lashes out in anger at Powder, where 75% of her family had been accidentaly killed by the other 25%, and in that moment of just sheer anger pain she commits the worst mistake of her life, and inflicts that pain onto a loved one. Would Vi normally do this? No, absolutely not. But the situation is not normal. And the show points this out, as she regrets it almost inmediately and for the entire rest of the series, and likely much much later. Vi understands, as we understand, that she fucked up, that she failed to protect her family then.
Then there's the second one, where after the attack on the council Vi puts on the enforcer uniform and goes to hunt Jinx. 'She'd never do that', yes she would, because Jinx pushed her away (like she did to her years ago), and in a moment of desperation Vi tries to find a new family in Caitlyn and justifies 'Jinx' as having killed Powder, and the only thing Vi cares about is protecting her family, even if it means doing something she hates, like putting an enforcer uniform and hunt her sister. Vi decides to hold back Caitlyn's worst decisions, and stop Jinx from ruining her sister's memory, she'll protect them from themselves, at the expense of her own desires.
And the final breaking point is when Caitlyn pushes her away, and left with nothing and noone to protect, Vi enters a self-destructing cycle, despite the fact that technically she still has her family out there somewhere to protect. But she can't, she's been pushed to her limit and the protector can no longer find in herself the power to protect. So...she just fights, and drinks, and waits for either to kill her.
These are not out of character, this are completly in character, accepting that she's been strained to her limit in these cases.
And this happens a lot in Arcane:
Why does Caitlyn, who is kind and respects justice, enforce martial law?
Why does Jayce, who tends to let himself be influenced easily, become so focused in his own goal?
Why does Mel, who is so in control most of the time, act so confused and scared?
Why did Vander, who loves his family and friends, tried to drown Silco?
Why does Viktor, who intially put such high importance on human choice, eventually disregarded it?
Why does Ambessa , who puts such value in sacrifice, refuse to sacrifice her daughter?
There's even a point to be made that some characters are in a constant state of being pushed to their limits, compare how Jinx acts normally to her childhood as Powder, the alternative Powder, or hell even Jinx with Isha and away from Silco. Compare Silco from the flashback or alternative universe to the Silco we knew.
What I'm trying to say is that it's better to look at these characters as beyond just the small phrases to describe them normally, and instead try to see them as living breathing people, and ask yourself, would you in a situation where you've been pushed to your limits act as you normally do? Would you, for lack of a better term, 'Remain in character'?
(Thank you so much to @restrainedhungr who proof read and gave feedback to this, helping to iron out some of the points)
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Celestial Underground Au: Sunâs Last Days
Context: A flash-forward to 10 years after the Creator was defeated by the siblings. Sun is king once again, but not for long because while his magic might be powerful, itâs been slowly killing him, but itâs been speeding up recently.
(Warning: Very long and ANGSTY)
June 26: Itâs a warm Summer afternoon, but you could tell that night would fall within the next hour or two, all of the royal family are inside and almost all spending time together, enjoying each otherâs company and trying to remain happy, trying to distract themselves from the Kingâs healthâŠ
Sun was alone in his room, standing out on his balcony and seemingly waiting to see the sunset. Moon knocks on the door and Sun grants his twin brother permission to enter.
Moon: âHey Sun..â
Sun: âHi Moon.â
Moon: âWhatâre you doing?â
Sun: âIâm just waiting for the sunsetâŠâ
Moon is silent for a moment.
Moon: ââŠ.â
Moon: âSun⊠Are you just going to give up..? Just like that? You- you canât just give up like that-â
Sun: âHm?â
Moon: âI- I mean thereâs still time, right?! We can still fix it-â
Moon starts back on his same old rambling of trying to convince Sun, or even himself, that thereâs still some hope of keeping Sun alive, and that they canât just give up. Sun: âMoon⊠weâve known that this would happen for a long time. Weâve all done what we could do⊠youâve done all you can do Moon..â
Moon: âB-But thereâs still- thereâs still time to fix it just donât give up like this-â
Sun: âMoon⊠you need to accept that-â
Moon: âNO- Sun it isnât fair! Youâre only just about to be 43 years old! Itâs not fair that you only get a decade of peace to live after all the messed up things that happened! And Dazzleâs too young to loose another parent- Especially one she remembers!â
Sun: âWell at least you wonât be second in line for the throne anymore, youâll only be sort of behind Dazzle-â
Sun tried to joke around to lighten the mood, even if what he was saying wasnât really a jokeâŠ
Moon: âSun- I donât care where I am on that stupid line of being heir anymore, I just want you to stay ahead of me and not move it forward yet!â
There was another pause, as they were trying to think of what to say, as the one isnât going to fully agree with the otherâs views on the matter⊠Moonâs so desperate to prevent whatâs to come, and yet Sunâs already content with dyingâŠ
Sun shifts the conversation..
Sun: âMoon⊠I know I donât have to ask this, but I will⊠Please take good care of Dazzle after I die, sheâll need it after Iâm gone..â
Moon: ââŠ..â
Moon: âOf course SunâŠ.â
Sun: âAnd please donât put her into the throne at 16 like I was, we both know thatâs a nightmare to throw on a kid.â
Sun made a laughing scoff sound as he was jokingly commenting on his own life... He noticed that Moon didnât appreciate the joke considering the circumstancesâŠ
Sun: âYou already have my permission to take the role of temporary King until Dazzle comes of age, Moon. And if she doesnât want to become Queen.. well Moon I have no doubt that youâll be a great ruler to our kingdomâŠâ Sun wanted to give Dazzle the chance to choose whether or not sheâd be Queen, a choice she gets because she was adopted rather than being born into the main âbloodlineâ of the family. Not that it really mattered to Sun considering heâs raised her since she was a month old..
Sun: âIâve already set things up for you and Dazzle so there wonât be many issues when the time comesâŠâ
Moon looks at Sun⊠and he starts tearing up⊠heâs so distraught and desperate and yet his twin, the one who heâs known since day one, who will be gone forever here soon, is so calm and accepting of his horrible fate..
He knows Sunâs in pain, but he guesses Sunâs pain tolerance came in handy there considering it was hard to notice⊠Sun just looked tired instead of looking like he was dying..
Moon embraces his brother, King of the Superstar Kingdom and the bright side of the family, and he starts cryingâŠ. No, heâs sobbing, begging his brother not to go⊠even if he knows itâs out of both of their control.
Sun hugs his brother back, letting Moon let it all out because he knows this hurtsâŠ
Sun: âMoon.. everything is going to be okay⊠And I know that you and Dazzle and all the others will do great things⊠even if I canât be there to see it⊠Youâve all already done so much goodâŠâ
Moonâs cries continue on for a little while..
Moon began to tire more as his cries started to slow downâŠ
Moon fell asleep in Sunâs arms, most likely by overheating himself due to stress. Sun picks up Moon, he can tell that he himself was becoming physically weaker because he was struggling to pick up Moon, something heâs done multiple times mostly effortlessly... But since he can still pick up his little brother, he takes Moon to his room, he can tell Moonâs tired. Sun then heads back to his own room to change his sleep jacket because Moonâs cries of dark oil would stain..
Sun then heads to Earthâs room, as thatâs where the rest of the family was spending time, and luckily Earthâs room wasnât to far from Sunâs, moving is starting to hurt more and more...
He spends the rest of his day with his other siblings and his daughter and nephews. Sun tells Dazzle the same thing heâs been telling her for a while in preparation for his death⊠he wanted to make sure she wouldnât need to worry. Sun, to Dazzle: âDazzle, I really want you to remember that being a princess is great, but I trust that you could be a great queen someday who will do great things. But I know that even if you want to stay a princess that you can still be amazing, and no matter what Iâll always love you.â
Dazzle: âOkay *yawn* Papa!â That yawn was telling that it was starting to get late..
Everyone said their good nights and headed to bed.
Sun took Dazzle to her room and tucked her in for the night.
Dazzle: *yawn* âNight⊠night daddy..â
Sun, with a soft smile: âNight night Dazzle, sleep well.â
Sun left the room⊠he knew it might be the last time heâll get to tuck his little girl into bed⊠with how tired heâs becoming he doubts heâll last until the end of tomorrowâŠ
Sun headed to his room to go to sleep...
Moonâs sleep:
Just like for months.. and months⊠and months⊠Moonâs dream showed him a future heâs spent so.. so long trying to preventâŠ
It wasnât as graphic as some other visions that had haunted his dreams in the far past, Sun wasnât destroyed and covered in his own oil or roboticized⊠but that didnât mean it wasnât just as terrifying as any other visionâŠ
Sun was lying in his bed⊠but Sun himself was gone⊠there was nobody else in the vision so Moon could never tell if he was going to be there or notâŠ
It was all silent⊠everything felt frozen.. and he never liked being frozen.. forced to see his dying brotherâs corpse every single nightâŠ
Forced to see something he knows he canât prevent anymoreâŠ
Why did they let Sun use so much of his own magic ten years ago..? The triplets couldâve helped boost his medallionâs power to de-roboticize so many others⊠all that usage ended up just speeding up Sunâs deathâŠ
Why did this have to happen�
June 27: Itâs early morningâŠ
Moon awakens early⊠he absolutely hates having those nightmares. He gets out of bed, guessing that Sun took him to his room last night, and he goes to his older twinâs room. He goes and sits by Sunâs bed for a few hours, Spaniard came in and asked if Moon needed anything to eat and Moon requests some food to be prepared for him and Sun for when Sun awakens.
When Sun awoke, Moon could tell that something was most definitely wrong. He could tell that Sun was much worse than he was the day before. Just yesterday Sun could at least stand and walk to a few rooms of the castle(and carry Moon). But today he could tell.. he could tell that.. that Sun wonât be alive by the end of the day.
And that breaks his heart so much, he wants to try begging for Sun to not leave him again like the day before, but he canât let out a word. All replaced with tears as he can actually see his older brother in pain. And he hates that the only way to stop it is the one he hates the most, and yet the most inevitable outcome at the same time.
Sun, waking up: âHmm..? Moon..?â
Moon: âG..good morning Sun..â
He hates that he canât stay strong enough for Sun in his last moments, he hates the thought of being temporary King, scratch that, King in general. Because it means that Sun is gone. He hates that Sunâs stupid magic, something so helpful to them, was also the reason heâd loose his brother. He hates the thought of Sun being dead and yet he can tell that itâs been happening for years and todayâs the last day heâll see Sun like this, in the worst condition heâs personally ever seen Sun in.
Sun: âMoon⊠can I get a hug..? You seem like you need itâŠâ
Moon: âS-sure SunâŠâ
They hug for a short while, Sunâs letting Moon let his grief over the situation out⊠he knows that Moonâs been trying to prevent this⊠he wished he didnât have to leaveâŠ
Sun: âMoonâŠâ
Moon: âHm..?â
Sun: âC-*cough*- can you please get the others..? I just want to see them a bit more today..â
Moon: âSure⊠sure thing Sun, give me a few moments..â
Moon goes to get the rest of his family as quickly as he possibly could⊠he really didnât want to be away from Sun for too long todayâŠ
Sun spoke to all of his family, both individually and all together. He joked a bit with Lunar, along with discussing how Lunarâs been feeling lately, Lunar mentioned that his custom beanbag order had finally come in and he was excited to show Sun how comfortable they were. He talked with Earth, asking how Monty and her were doing and how her latest knitting project was coming along. He assured Nexus that he was going to be okay, and even if he wasnât then it he trusts that everything would be okay, Nexus even played a bit of drums.. an experience familiar and yet so far in the past.
Solar could tell, just like with Nexus, that something was worse with today for Sun compared to the others⊠Sun tried to assure Solar in a similar way as Nexus.. but it felt as though Solar was still more upset and wary of what was going on, even if he was really good at hiding it by now.. Sun asked Solar about any side projects of Solarâs aside from the whole âpreventing Sun from dyingâ task that he, Nexus, and Moon had been dead set on trying to achieve for so long now.. Solarâs apparently making little hats in his spare moments of alone time.
Sun talked with his nephews, Jack and Molten. Jack, from what he says, has been playing a lot of board games and been practicing his combat skills, Sun knew Jack would always be there to help and protect Dazzle. Molten had been a calm presence, heâs also taken up cooking as well, he was always trying out something new with either himself or his baby cousins.
He talked with Dazzle, she was super happy just being around him. Their little banter was always fun. Moon watched, he talked with Sun here and there but he more so just wanted to be around Sun.. at least for this momentâŠ
He spoke to his family, it was both heart warming and breaking in so many different ways.
Sun: âDazzle.. Hun I wanted to give you something..â
Dazzle: âReally? I have a gift for you too dad! Itâs for tomorrow but do you want it early?!â
Dazzle was so enthusiastic.. she couldnât wait to see her dadâs reaction to her gift.. Sun chuckledâŠ
Sun: âOf course Dazzle.. how about we do a little exchange?â
Dazzle: *gasp* âOo~ Gimme a moment Iâll be right back!â
Sun: âGo ahead..â
Dazzle rushed out of the room excited. Sun held himself until she left and then he started coughing quite a bit, it was a pain cough that he was probably holding in for a bit..
Earth: âSun are you okay-â
Sun: âY.. yeah Earth⊠Iâm okay! Iâm just not feeling well today is allâŠâ
Dazzle re-entered the room, she was being quick due to her excitement.
Dazzle: âOkok- can I go first?â
Sun: âOf.. of course Dazzle..â
Sun was trying hard to focus.. to stay awake..
Dazzle: âSo I made these for your birthday, but you can get them now! I made you a bracelet and a card!â
Sun: âOh! Thank you honey..! Oh itâs such a- *cough* such a lovely bracelet!⊠Such a pretty assortment of beads you chose!â
Dazzle: âSo do you like it?â
She enthusiastically asked her dad, proud of her gift.
Sun: âI love it Dazzle⊠I love it and the card..!â
Dazzle: âYayy!!â
Sun: âNow itâs my turn to⊠to give you something!â
Dazzle: âOkay!â
Dazzle patiently sat as her father reached to his lower nightstand drawer, he grabs out a small box and gives it to Dazzle. Dazzle opened the box to find two bracelets. She smiled widely and excitedly said:
Dazzle: âYou got me bracelets too!!â
Sun: âNot just any bracelets..! One of those used to be my bracelet when I was much younger⊠your auntie and most of your uncles werenât⊠werenât even born yet..! And the other is one that I⊠I made myself, super special and full of love just for you!â
Those bracelets⊠one was one that heâs had for years, a bracelet he couldnât wear during the Creatorâs reign as it was lost at the castle, and a bracelet that he made for her, for all the bracelets sheâs made him in her life..
Spaniard the butler came into the room and informed the family that lunch was finished being prepared, Sun requests that Moon stay with him while the others go enjoy lunch.
They all said their âtemporaryâ farewells and their âI love youââs.. Dazzle hugged her father.
Dazzle: âBye-bye Dad, I love you!â
Sun returns the statement, itâs so casual you wouldnât think that it would be their final goodbyesâŠ
Sun: âI love you too honey⊠bye-bye.â
Everyone leaves until it was just Sun and Moon all alone.. Sun looked to his brother once moreâŠ
Sun: âMoon⊠how about I give you your birthday gifts a little early as well..?â
Moon: âOh⊠sure.. if thatâs what you want to do.â
Sun: âThey arenât the best or newest⊠but I hope youâll like them anyways..â
Moon: âI donât think Iâd care about a small detail like that right now Sun.â
Sun: âJust⊠just wanted to tell you.. just in case..â
Sun reaches to his nightstandâs drawer and grabs out three things from it, some red ribbon bell bracelets, the ones he and Moon used to wear to match when they were little, a somewhat damaged photo that had seen better days, it was from their 15th birthday celebration⊠Moon knew it was one of Sunâs favorite photos because it showed Moonâs biggest smile in their youth, and a little handmade plushie of himself that Moon had never seen before. The other two things where things from their youth⊠from some of the happiest times in their livesâŠ
Sun: âThe plushie is for whenever you might be missing me.. I know itâs going to be hard on you after I go.. so I hope this- *coughing* ..this helps.. I hope this helps on the bad days.. if it makes you feel any better⊠I made it myself!â
Moon: âSun..â
Sun: âYou⊠you probably recognize the other things.. I just figured you should be the one to have them..â
Moon: ââŠâ
Moon: âThank you Sun.. anything you want for our birthday..? I donât think I can get my gifts to you in the current moment⊠do you want anything in specific..?â
Sun: â⊠how about a hug..?â
Moon: âOf course Sun..â
Moon accepts, embracing Sun in a hug. Sun says to Moon, in a tired voice, getting quieter with every word:
Sun: âI love you brother..â
Moon: âI love you too brother...â
Sun: âThatâs all I could ever ask forâŠ..â
Sunâs grip in his brotherâs hug loosens, leaving Moon to be the one to end his embrace of his older brother... Moon starts to cry, as he is now the oldest of the living royal familyâŠ
#tsams#sun and moon show#lunar and earth show#laes#tsams sun#tsams moon#tsams old moon#tsams nexus#tsams new moon#tsams nice eclipse#tsams solar#tsams lunar#tsams spaniard#tsams earth#tsams jack#tsams dazzle#laes earth#laes lunar#laes dazzle#the lunar and earth show#the sun and moon show#laes jack#tsams au#tw angst#tw character death#tw grief#THIS TOOK FOREVER TO FINISH-#Scheduled for 8:30 because WHY NOT?!?-#celestial underground au#IâVE BEEN WORKING ON THIS FOR LITERAL MONTHS-
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Okay, this post is about Mouthwashing the game so I'm putting it under a cut for not my normal content
I just keep thinking about how hopeless Curly must have felt when he saw Anya overdosing.
How she chose to sit beside him.
What her last words were.
How Curly, likely, will never get to tell anybody what they were.
He had to watch her take the pills and assume it was going to be her administering them to him.
I can imagine her standing in front of him tearfully, apologizing softly because she's using up what's left of his meds, how her "selfishness" is going to cause him more pain. She doesn't want to hurt him, but she's hurting too and between the two of them? She thinks he deserves to live. At least Jimmy will care about him.
I can imagine the strangled, pained pleading Curly makes as Anya downs pills at a time, protesting her decision. If he could cry, he would.
Anya settling down next to his bed and resting her hand on his shoulder, telling him it's okay as she grows more pale. She wants this, but tears are streaming down her face. She repeats her poster again, "our worst moments don't make us monsters", before gently touching her own belly, and telling Curly she hopes that in whatever afterlife awaits her and the kid, that her baby will forgive her for taking its life with hers once it knows what happened on that ship.
She manages one last, sad little wheezy laugh and rests back against the curtains before seemingly falling asleep, only to be followed by vomit, and silence again.
The weight of two deaths finally rests on Curlys shoulders, and all that can be heard is soft whimpering as if he's begging her to come back to life.
The only thing that scares him out of it is when he hears something large in the vents beneath him, followed by Daisuke's yelling.
The realization finally settling in fully, completely, that everyone on the ship will die before Jimmy will admit having been in the wrong.
One last, pained stretch to see Anya's face, burning into his memory her last words.
------
ANYWAYS
Modified taglist for my Mouthwashing girlie's (gnc)
@distant-velleity @elenauaurs
#v talks#mouthwashing#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#captain curly#anya mouthwashing#not twst related
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Permanent Eclipse
Summary: We saw it all happen from Jimmy's eyes, but what was going through the dying intern's mind during his final moments?
Words: 1.5k
Tags: Angst, heavy angsty angst
TW: Character deaths and gore (mouthwashing being mouthwashing)
a/n: i was inspired (tortured) by this tiktok: https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS62aWV9h/
He screwed up. Again.
One chance to redeem himself from all the headaches he caused the whole crew - all down the drain. One chance to save Anya, the person who treated him like a sibling - gone. One chance to make the man he looked up to proud... how he wished to see Swansea smile at something he did, with genuine pride. He'll never be able to see that.
Daisuke's irregular breathing was filling the whole room up, loud and uneven, like the chaos in his head. Regret. Self-loathing. Guilt. And gosh, Anya. He never saw something so empty in his life. Her eyes that used to look at him with warmth and care, were now cold voids.
The gut-clenching pain of the scene twisted harder than his raw and oozing wounds. It didn't matter though, because the only person that could heal him was now sitting lifeless before him. And it was all his fault.
The loud banging of the medbay door snapped him out of his daze. The reason why he climbed the vent came back to him and he limped towards it. The second the lock clicked under his trembling hands, his legs crumpled.
âHey bud, I got you! What happe--â
âAnya... Anya, she-- sheâs--â
One look. Daisuke's brows furrowed, stunned by how the co-pilot didnât even spare a glance at the nurse's body. His focus solely on finding a spot to lean the wounded intern against.
âI know, I know. Letâs get you cleaned up first, alright?â
Jimmy's arms steadied him, but all the young man could look at was the face of their substitute captain. His pressed lips, the prominent line between his brows, his clenched jaw. Daisuke winced at the pure disappointment silently radiating from him.
He shivered at the cool metal wall Jimmy placed him on. Having a clear view of Anya... and goodness, he forgot about their bandaged captain. What hit him hard was seeing Curly's wide eye transfixed at her, tears were flowing in one continuous stream.
"This might sting, Daisuke, but it'll disinfect your wounds, alright? Just hang in there, bud"
When the mouthwash hit his open flesh, he barely flinched. The sting being a distant feeling perceived by his hazy mind. Receiving the harsh treatment from the co-pilot's hands, Daisuke could not even react. Jimmy worked quickly, but the boy's gaze was glued to Anya. Just lying there. A corpse. Maybe⊠maybe she wasnât gone.
Yeah! That's it. Anya was just showing how Swansea and he have acted the past few days with their mouthwash alcoholism. She was just proving a point, right? Just making him have a taste of his own medicine. She'll get up. She'll stop the charade after knowing that Daisuke's hurt... She wasnât reallyâŠ
"She's dead, Daisuke. Let's focus on patching you up"
Jimmy cut through him like death's scythe. Cold and unforgiving. His mind wondered why the co-pilot was nonchalant with the whole thing. Maybe he blamed him. There's nothing Jimmy could do because Daisuke failed to save her.
He never even realized how his vision blurred from the tears. Hearing the words he kept denying himself shattered him. Dead. Of course she's dead. And it's all his fault.
His wounds made even the lightest of breaths a battle, the nauseating smell of metal mixed with sweet mint. The guilt clawed at his guts, unforgiving, unrelenting. It was all too much. His body was shutting down.
The last thing he remembered was Jimmy swearing and shouting his name. Yeah, he deserved that, every nasty word thrown at him, he'd take it.
When he woke, he didnât feel any better. If anything, it was worse. Heat and excruciating pain throbbed under his wounds, radiating out like fire while the rest of him shivered uncontrollably. Every nerve in his body screamed, yet all he could think about was the heavy presence sitting beside him.
Swansea.
Daisuke froze. He wasn't ready to face the man he looked up to. Couldnât meet the mechanicâs eyes. Daisuke wasn't a shy one nor was he an introvert, but at that moment, all he wanted to do was to dig himself a grave. To hide. To be forgotten. To just.. disappear.
Jimmyâs disappointment was already too much; Swanseaâs would destroy him. Daisuke's eyes were closed but his ears were definitely not, and his lips trembled after hearing the older man sigh, deep and gravelly.
"What were you thinking?"
Soft. Too soft. Was it pity? Is it rage masked with calmness? Daisuke panicked. Swansea never used this tone. He yelled, barked orders, always had sarcastic quips. But, not this. This calmness was worse. This calmness meant his mentor had abandoned all hope on him.
"I-I'm sorry..." Daisuke meant it to be a steady apology, but it left his lips in a shaky whisper. He hated how pathetic he was being.
"Look, it ain't yer fault," Swansea rubbed his face. "If anyone is to blame, it's that ass actin' captain this whole damn time."
All those words fell into the fire, burnt into ashes. Daisuke wanted to believe him, but no. Every terrible decision, every wrong turn, it all led back to himself. Anyaâs death. His wound. The infection eating away at him.
Every second was agony, it felt like running a marathon just by wiping his tears. Every movement, blades raking through his skin down to the bone.
The world dissolved into a haze, Swanseaâs figure reduced to a shapeless blur. Each breath he took felt like dragging shattered glass through his already tired lungs. His thoughts twisted into knots he couldnât untangleâtight, choking, blaming
Itâs all my fault
Home. I just wanna go home. I canât do this anymore
I shouldâve been braverâno, smarterâwhy wasnât I smarter? Why did I screw up again?
Anya, Iâm sorry. Gosh, Iâm so sorry. You didnât deserve this
I shouldâve been stronger, faster. Maybe then⊠maybe then I couldâve saved you
Swansea⊠I let you down
Mom, IâMom, Iâm sorry. For everything. For being me. For not being the son you wanted
If only⊠if only Iâd been better. Maybe then none of this wouldâve happened
Jimmy and Swansea were arguing but it all blurred into a single incoherent mumble. Every word drifted into a distant echo with the boy's eyelids growing more and more heavy.
For the second time, Daisuke lost consciousness, his body succumbing to the pain. Even in his dreams, his guilt followed him. Denying him rest, plaguing him with nightmares.
His vision blurred after returning to consciousness. His sight flickering in and out of focus. After having some clarity, his eyes met the dull gray metal ceiling, a yellow blob sticking out on his peripheral. He's now reminded of the mechanic's presence. How much time has passed? Did the mechanic stay beside him after all his failures?
The infection, it had to be worse now. It wasnât just the wound that was tearing at himâit was everything else, unrelenting tidal waves of nausea, the aching, feverish delirium that had him questioning whether he was awake or dreaming.
Daisuke tried to speak, but even a grunt felt like blades were cutting his throat. All he could do was lay there, pathetically, his body too weak to move. Too worn out to ask the mechanic for his forgiveness. It wasnât just the wound anymoreâit was his entire self getting split open from the inside.
He didnât notice the way his body twitched and jerked. But Swansea saw it allâthe tremors in his limbs, the shallow, uneven breaths, the thin sheen of fever-slick sweat on his skin. To anyone with two functional eyes, it was clear: Daisukeâs body was falling apart. Piece by agonizing piece.
"It's alright, Daisuke. Calm down."
The deep voice cuts through the fog. Again with his soft tone, but something was different this time. There was this quiet desperation in the way the gruff man spoke... Was that sorrow?
He opened his eyes, looking up to the mechanic. His senior was furrowing his eyebrows like he usually does, but his eyes. They were mourning.
"You coulda taught an old fool like me a lot"
Daisuke strained hard to understand all the words. He tamed his writhing body, steadied his breathing and kept his half-lidded eyes on Swansea. With every ounce of strength left, he fought to show the man that he was listening.
"Just a damn good kid tryin his best"
It dawned on him - sharp and cold. The man was saying his goodbyes.
"Close your eyes, Daisuke..."
The axehead was above Swansea's head now, and for a moment, Daisuke's thoughts scattered. Was Swansea really going to kill him? He knew he deserved it, but it somehow ached his whole being. It wasn't like the sharp pain from his wounds or the burning fever. It was a numb, suffocating, and heavy kind of ache that sucked him of all his strength.
But even now, with everything crumbling, the intern followed the mechanic's instructions. His lashes fluttered shut, pressing his unshed tears down his fevered cheeks.
Maybe, just maybe, if he got it right this time, he'd finally hear it:
"You did good, kid"
#this scene scarred me permanently#daisuke never knew why he needed to die#swans kill their injured young to end its suffering#sorry#mouthwashing#mouthwash#mouthwashing game#mouthwashing wrong organ#wrong organ#mouthwashing daisuke#mouthwashing swansea#mouthwashing anya#mouthwashing curly#mouthwashing jimmy#curly mouthwashing#daisuke#swansea#curly#anya#jimmy#mouthwashing angst#mouthwashing headcanon#mouthwashing scenario#mouthwash game#mouthwashing fandom#angst
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I should make a list of wc super editions that i straight up donât consider canon. like âno this did not happen to those characters growing up, stop lyingâ. Mostly Yellowfangâs Secret. Everything about Yellowfangâs Secret. I think we should all collectively look at Yellowfangâs Secret and go âNone of that happened, not the family tree stuff, none of it.â and walk away
#tbh everyone being cruel to bluestar in her se while unpleasant to read about. it at least serves as a good explanation#for her behavior in the second half of tpb#i mean its not really Needed all things considered and youre not meant to read it as everyone failing her#but rather ââbluestar needs to get a grip and learn that work comes before your mental healthââ#but yknow i can at least get it yknow?#but yellowfang? everything about her se makes me feel bad for no reason. everyone is shitty to her from day 1 and they end it being shitty#and we have no real reason to believe her life sucked before the brokenstar stuff#we didnt need raggedstar to bully yellowfang from birth and then coerce her into a relationship#we didnt need a pointless power where she can feel everyones pain and its never acknowledged again#and only serves as a way for sagewhisker to bully yellowfang into the position#we didnt need yellowfangs own family to turn on her#i cant remember if this was said in tpb also but we didnt need to watch her daughters die at birth#we didnt need to retcon her actually having friends in shadowclan so that actually dawncloud and the others never liked her#its SUCH a miserable read and on top of that it only offers shitty retcons that actually make tpb worse#like the power thing again but also yellowfang not being an old lady. why isnt she an old lady wtf. why do you hate old people#oh raggedstar was actually abusive to yellowfang? oh all the moments we worship him in tpb sure are great and hold up well!#yellowfang was forced to be a medic wowww so groundbreaking this doesnt cheapen her wanting to be tcâs medic#actually the elders were not old they were super young and stuff for some reason bc old people cant be important to saving a clan ig#and like yeah its not out of the realm of possibility but brightflower being yellowfangs mom is just a bizarre choice to me#idk man yellowfangs secret is an extra level of miserable to me and i think we should all agree its not actually canon#its a cynical and miserable book made to slap a fan favorite character on the cover and vaguely gesture to it with ââyou like that one.ââ
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I think something a lot of other people can relate to is the way that you get so conditioned to discomfort that you stop registering it.
I remember sitting at the table with my family, eating dinner as a child. Iâd try to eat, because of course I was hungry. But sometimes the flavor or texture was so repugnant that it moved into a category of Not Food.
âTwo more bites before you can leave the table.â
âI canât,â Iâd say, trying to explain the impossibility.
But because I was a child they heard, âI wonât,â and made me sit at the table. Iâd sit in dull agonized silence, bored and hungry for hours until bedtime when theyâd give up. Iâd hate myself for not eating and my parents for forcing me to sit there. The few forcefeeding moments ended in vomit.
Theyâd say, âIf you donât eat this you canât eat a snack later,â and I moved past trying to communicate my discomfort into accepting that Iâd just be hungry.
That state of affairs didnât last, because my parents realized nothing could force me to eat so they catered to my palate, worrying theyâd starve me. But the message stuck. If you canât do anything about a situation, just accept the suffering.
A few years later my mother called me off the playground to ask, âAre you limping?â
I shrugged. My feet had hurt for a long time, but that was just the way things were now. My mom pulled my socks and shoes off and gasped. The soles of my feet were covered in huge painful planters warts.
âWhy didnât you say anything?!â She demanded but I could only shrug at her. Iâd learned a long time ago that saying things about my discomfort didnât matter, so now I had no words. Sometimes things hurt and sometimes they donât. I simply accepted and did my best.
Now as an adult trying to learn to improve my own conditions can be hard. If I make food that I canât eat Iâll force myself to sit at the counter still, full of guilt and self loathing, trying to will myself to eat it.
At first I needed my betrothed to gently take it away to present me with something I could eat. Now on my own I can usually admit that itâs not happening before too long and get something else, but I still feel guilty.
Laying in bed at night waiting for my betrothed to finish getting ready I let out a huge sigh of relief when they turned the lights off.
âWhy didnât you turn them off if they bothered you?â they asked the first time it happened.
âI didnât even know it was bothering me until it was gone.â
Assessing my physical state now to see if I can improve it is something Iâm still relearning but Iâm relieved to finally have the space and support to do it.
#ramblies#autism#as an afab kid I didnât get diagnosed but given my poor social skills and general vibes itâs astonishing I wasnât#I didnât learn to implement social masking until way later#also those warts too months to get rid of cause they were too big to burn off#they had to be scraped down slowly after baths#vomiting
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god. Vivienne really is just. that character. She is taken to the circle so young she does not remember what her parents even looked like and someone had to tell her. She wouldnât even know if they were telling the truth. She is ruthless, the terror and nightmare of the Orlesian court. She almost weeps when you find the Tranquil skulls in Redcliffe. She hates drop waists. She is harrowed younger than any other mage in living memory. She teaches Bull the steps to the dance of the six candles. He likens her to a Qunari dreadnought that has half the enemies on the ground before heâs even reached the front line. Her accentâs not Orlesian. No Free Marcher can tell where she is from either. Is her original voice another part of herself she cut off? She enchanted a duke within one meeting and they scandalised even Orlesian society. She was good friends with his wife. They possibly fucked too. No can control her. Sheâs been owned since the moment she was first brought to the Circle. She belongs to no people. There are a dozen leashes around her neck claiming otherwise. She makes fun of an elven god for setting his coattails on fire. She is on the verge of banishing Cole back to the Fade all the time. She canât help but grow to care for him at the end despite her best efforts to pretend otherwise. She hates herself for it. She thinks caring makes you weak. During the first conversation you have with her unmasked as a Trevelyan, she begs to know if you also cared about her childhood friend, Lydia. She tries to import illegal fur into Skyhold. Did she kill everything soft within her soul herself or did the Chantry sisters do it for her? She is impossible to prank. Some might say sheâs even better than Sera at pranking. She was pulled into the game by the time she was nineteen. Sheâd faced worse things since she could first remember her dreams. Life has never been fair. One merely needs to be hard enough to survive. The blade at her neck when she lay on the floor of the harrowing chamber was no different from the hunger in her belly as child, a necessary pain that only drove her forward. Maker, was there ever any chance that she did not see cruelty as simply another word for life? Is there any version of her that does not end up surrounded by moral filth?Â
#dragon age#vivienne#I've been working on a gift fic for a friend that is centred around her that I may end up posting to ao3 as well#and god#my god#this woman
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đđđđ | đ.đ âđâËâč
á°.á đđšđ« đđĄđ đđąđ«đŹđ đđąđŠđ đąđ§ đđŹ đ„đšđ§đ đđŹ đĄđ đđšđźđ„đ đ«đđŠđđŠđđđ«, đĄđ đđđ„đ đđ±đđđđ„đČ đ°đĄđđ«đ đĄđ đ°đđŹ đŠđđđ§đ đđš đđ.
đđĄđ đđ§đđąđ«đđđČ đšđ đČđ§âđŹ đ©đ«đđ đ§đđ§đđČ đ°đąđđĄ đđĄđđąđ« đŹđšđ§, đđđ„đđŹ. [novâ18âmayâ19]
requested!! thank u anon, i hope u enjoy :)
đđ: unexpected pregnancy, labor + labor pains, fem!reader. i think thatâs it!!
đđđđ đđđđđ: approx 12.3k
â hope yall donât mind that i included louis in this. i miss him fr. also, thank u again anon <3 hope this wasnât too long
not my gif. if u have the info of the original creator, lmk so i can appropriately credit them.
Life had slowed, but only justâsomehow still breezy with that undercurrent of momentum that carried him from One Direction fevered heights, to the steady rhythm of his own solo journey. Fame was no stranger, but this? These moments were the ones he cherished most. He glanced at his wife, her eyes twinkling as she sat with their son. The simple joy of this evening reminded him of how far they had come. The quiet, intimate wedding in Holmes Chapel five years ago, the shockwaves it sent through the internet because they had managed to keep it so private, and then, only a year later, the unexpected news that YN was pregnant with Atlas.
He could still remember the exact moment he found out about their little surprise, how the world had seemed to tilt on its axis when she told him. It had been unplanned, a complete shock, but one that had filled him with a profound sense of love and responsibility.
Five years ago felt like a lifetime ago, yet it also felt like yesterday.
Five Years Earlier â November first, Holmes Chapel
The cold was sharp outside, but the small cottage Harry and YN had rented for the holiday season felt warm, cozy even. A fire crackled softly in the fireplace, and YN sat curled up on the couch, her hands wrapped around a steaming mug of tea. Outside, a gentle snow, the first of the season, had started to fall, covering the village in a blanket of white.
Harry had been out all day, helping his mother with some last-minute holiday preparations. The quiet of the house felt calming to YN, but there was something on her mind, something that had been gnawing at her for the past month. Her period was lateâlater than it had ever been.
She had noticed other small things too. A slight queasiness in the mornings that she initially brushed off as stress from the hectic, upcoming holiday season. But now, as she sat there, the weight of realization started to sink in. She might be pregnant.
Her heart pounded as she thought about it. They hadnât planned for this. They had only been married for about a year, and though they had talked about children, it had always been a vague, distant future sort of conversation. But now, the possibility was staring her in the face, and she wasnât sure how Harry would react.
Would he be excited? Nervous? Overwhelmed?
She glanced at her phone, considering whether to text him and ask him to pick up a pregnancy test on his way home. No, that felt too impersonal.
She had paced the empty hallways of the cottage, occasionally texting her husband back or scrolling through instagram. She knew Harry like the back of her hand, he wouldnât be upsetâperhaps a bit overwhelmed, but upset? No, from the years theyâve known each other, he loved children. She couldnât count on her fingers the amount of dance sessions, hide and go seeks, and cartoon watching sheâd walk in on when he was with the children of his family or friends. And from the discussions theyâve shared of their own future children, she knew heâd be ecstaticâshe just didnât think itâd be so soon.
A few hours later, the front door creaked open, and Harryâs voice echoed through the small cottage. âLovey, yâhere? Sâcold as hell out there.â
She stood, wrapping Harryâs sweater tighter around her frame, trying to keep her nerves in check as she walked towards him. He looked so carefree, a light dusting of snow in his hair, his cheeks rosy from the cold, a grin already stretching across his face when he saw her.
âGot yâfavorite mince pies from the bakery,â he announced, holding up a small paper bag as he walked towards her. âMum says we need to fatten you up fâthe winter.â
YN laughed softly, but it didnât reach her eyes. She could feel the words bubbling up in her throat, but she didnât know how to say them. Instead, she took the bag from him and set it on the counter.
He began to shuffle around the kitchen, searching the cupboards for a few glasses. He absentmindedly hummed a tune his wife didnât quite recognize as he floated toward the freezer, pulling out a frosted glass bottle of rum with a smile. âMum said she wouldâve made it herself butââ He laughed, shaking his head as he set the bottle down on the counter with a heavy clank. âSheâs decorating the house. Looks like autumn threw up in there.â
YN only responded in a gentle chuckle, one that made him look up with his eyebrows furrowed. Harry frowned, immediately noticing the shift in her demeanor. He paused, his eyes scanning her face with concern. âEverything alright, sweet girl?â
She swallowed hard, trying to steady her voice. Her eyes burrowed into his, shifting gaze from one eye to the other. Her lips parted, unsure of how to form the words that sat heavily in her throat. She exhaled, managing a smile as she shook her head. âJust a bit tired, thats all.â
She couldnât tell him until she was sure. If he were to be overjoyed, she didnât want to get his hopes up on the off-chance she wasnât pregnant.
Harry paused for a moment, not fully convinced, but he didnât want to push. If something was wrong, sheâd tell him when she felt ready. So, he only smiled back as he unscrewed the rum and poured into the square glasses. He looked at her expectantly as he raised his eyebrows, bringing her a glass.
She stared at it as if it would jump out at her, her reflection waning in the amber liquid. She pulled her lips between her teeth, shaking her head as her cheeks flushed. âNot feeling it tonight.â
At that point, Harry knew something was wrong. He furrowed his eyebrows, setting herâwell, what was supposed to be hersâdrink on the counter before he took a sip of his. âYou sure yâalright?â
She brushed it off with a laugh, stepping toward him as he remained leaning against the counter. YN pressed a gentle kiss on his rum-slicked lips, cold to the touch. âYou worry too much.â
He wrapped his arm around her head, pulling her into his chest with a sigh. âRightfully so, mâlove. Stubborn as a mule, you are.â
She scoffed, though only humor was laced in her tone. She pushed back from him, folding her arms over her chest with a feigned frown.
âWhat?â He smiled, taking another sip. âShould be titled an archeologist the way I dig for your heart.â
âOh shut it, Styles. Youâve done no such thing.â
He laughed, placing his glass on the counter behind him and gently holding onto the edges. âYouâre only proving my point, lovey.â
She rolled her eyes, flicking his chest before she began to step off toward the bedroom. YN looked over her shoulder expectantly with a sly smile. âYouâre not gonna join me?â
She didnât need to ask him twice.
He tugged his shirt off, tossing it aside as his wifeâs laughter echoed down the hallway. She darted toward their bedroom, her giggles trailing behind her like music. Grabbing his glass from the counter and kicking off his shoes, he chased after her, a wide, mischievous grin lighting up his face.
There was a gloomy, gray sky the next morning, the kind where the clouds stretched thick across the sky, holding back any hint of sun. YN had woken up before dawn with a gnawing queasinessâa feeling that had been creeping up more often lately. She pressed her hand to her stomach, trying to calm the discomfort.
She reached into the plastic bag, pulling out the small pregnancy test she ordered from doordash before the sun rose. She had tipped the dasher generously before staring at it in the restroom for what felt like hours. Her mind buzzed, unsteady with thoughts she couldnât quite wrangle. The idea of being pregnant had only crossed her mind like a shooting star. She was nervous. They were still basking in the simplicity of their life, the unexpected quiet of their year-old marriage. This hadnât been in the plan.
But here she was, two minutes ticking by like hours as she stared at the test resting on the edge of the sink.
And then, there it was.
Two blue lines.
Her heart raced, a mix of emotions she could barely process flooded her chest. She didnât know what she was supposed to feelâexcitement, worry, fear? It was all tangled together in a knot she didnât have the strength to untangle. She felt a hint of guilt wash over her; how could she feel uncertain about something so beautiful? But it was real, and she knew it. This was so real.
She sank to the edge of the clawfoot tub in the small bathroom, hugging her arms around herself. She let herself sit there for a while, just breathing in and out, letting the realization wash over her like waves on a shore, eroding her hesitation bit by bit. Eventually, she felt a warmth begin to spread, a tentative but growing love, a sense that maybe, just maybe, this was meant to be.
Oh, godâbut Harry.
Mere discussions about a hazy future never felt so prophetic.
Footsteps on the old wooden floor outside the bathroom brought her back to reality. Harryâs voice called from the kitchen, warm and sleepy, a mug clinking on the counter. âLove, you up?â
Her stomach twisted again, this time more with nerves than nausea. She took a deep breath, tucking the test in her hand and opening the door. As she stepped out, she found her husband leaning against the counter, his hair tousled from sleep, a soft smile on his face as he sipped from his mug.
âCouldnât fall back asleep,â she murmured, her voice just above a whisper.
Harry raised an eyebrow, setting down his mug as he studied her face, his expression shifting to one of gentle concern. âYouâve been off since yesterday, please, just tell me whatâs wrong?â
YN took a breath, feeling the weight of the words she was about to speak. She crossed the small space between them, the floorboards creaking softly under her bare feet. Her hands trembled as she reached for his, and he immediately stilled, sensing her unease.
âDonât freak out, okay?â She said, her voice breaking ever so slightly.
Harryâs gaze softened, his fingers curling around hers. âAlright,â he murmured, his thumb gently brushing over her knuckles. âSwear it.â
She swallowed, her eyes dropping to where their hands joined, and finally, she managed to say it. âIâmââ she sighed, âIâm pregnant.â
The words hung in the air between them, and she felt his hand go still, his thumb pausing mid-stroke. She dared a glance up at his face, and in his eyes, she saw the shock sheâd been expecting. His mouth opened slightly, as if he wanted to say something but couldnât quite find the words.
It was the longest silence sheâd ever felt.
And then, slowly, a smile began to break across his face, soft at first, hesitant, but growing. His eyes sparkled with something she hadnât expectedâsomething gentle and pure, and so, so warm. âYouâre⊠serious?â
She nodded, a soft laugh escaping her lips, a mix of nerves and relief. âYeah. I know itâs not what we planned, and Iââ
Harry pulled her into his arms, wrapping her up tightly as if he never wanted to let go. She felt his heartbeat racing against her cheek, felt the slight tremor in his breath as he held her.
He pulled back just enough to look at her, his eyes glassy with emotion. âThis is⊠I mean, I wasnât expecting this, butâŠâ He paused, his voice catching. âBut, YN, thisâthis is everything.â
A smile broke across her face, the warmth in her chest growing, all her fears melting as she looked up at him. âAre you sure?â
Harry laughed softly, brushing a strand of hair from her face, his thumb lingering on her cheek. âIâm sure.â His eyes held hers, full of something she could only describe as love beyond anything sheâd known before. âI mean, look at us. Weâve done everything backwards and upside down, havenât we?â He chuckled, his dimples deepening. âWhy not this too?â
They laughed together, and in that moment, all her worries felt so small, so distant. Harry pressed his forehead against hers, his hands holding her gently. âI canât believe it,â he whispered. âWeâre going to be parents?â
YN nodded, her own laughter mingling with tears she hadnât realized were there. âI guess we are.â
Harry wrapped her up again, his arms strong and sure around her. âOur little family.â He looked around, a spark of excitement lighting his gaze. âThe start of everything, right here.â
They stood there, wrapped up in each other, in the quiet of the small cottage, a peacefulness settling over them. The morning light had started to creep in through the windows, casting a soft glow over them, and for a moment, the world felt perfectly still.
But as the initial excitement settled, the reality of the situation hit her hard. Morning sickness, which was more like all day sickness for YN, kicked in with a vengeance. She wondered what crime she may have committed in a past life to deserve such a karma.
She spent most of her mornings hunched over the toilet, her stomach in knots, while Harry hovered nearby, rubbing her back and murmuring soothing words. âItâll pass, baby.â He would say, though there was a flicker of worry in his eyes every time she retched.
The first trimester was rough. YN felt exhausted all the time, her body aching and her emotions all over the place. There were days when she could barely keep food down, and the nausea was so overwhelming that she couldnât even stand the smell of Harryâs cologne.
But through it all, he was a constant source of support. He made her ginger tea in the mornings, rubbed her feet when they swelled, and stayed up late with her on the nights when she couldnât sleep. He even held her hair back during the worst bouts of sickness, never once complaining or losing his patience.
Still, telling their friends and family was daunting. Anne had been thrilled, of course, immediately launching into grandma mode, talking about knitting booties and baby blankets. But YN worried about telling the public. Harry had always been fiercely protective of their privacy, and the idea of sharing something so intimate with the world felt overwhelming.
âI donât want people to think anything bad of me.â She admitted to him one night as they lay in bed. She had spent the entire day feeling nauseous, and her nerves were frayed.
Harry propped himself up on one elbow, looking at her with a gentle smile. âNo oneâs going to think like that, baby.. And if they do, then screw âem. This is our family. No one elseâs.â
His words, simple as they were, helped ease some of the anxiety gnawing at her. They would announce it when they were ready, and in the meantime, they would enjoy these private, intimate moments together.
A few weeks later, when YN was finally starting to feel a little better, they gathered their closest friends and family to tell them the news. Harryâs friendâs were among the first to know. They had gathered at their place in London, a casual get-together that didnât feel too obvious or formal.
Jeff had been the first to catch on, his brow furrowing as he noticed YN sipping ginger ale instead of her usual glass of wine on occasions like these. âWait a minuteâŠâ he began, his eyes narrowing suspiciously as he glanced between them. Oh God, youâre pregnant arenât you?â
The room fell silent for a moment as Harry and YN exchanged a glance, a grin tugging at Harryâs lips. âSurprise!â
The room erupted into chaos. Mitch nearly fell out of his chair, laughing and shouting congratulations at the same time. Pauli looked like he might cry, and Sarah immediately started teasing Harry about how heâd better get used to sleepless nights.
âYou two are gonna be knackered for the next eighteen years,â she quipped, though there was a deep affection in her eyes as she clapped Harry on the back. âBut youâll be great parents. I know it.â
As the weeks continued to pass and YNâs belly began to show, Harryâs excitement seemed to grow right along with it. He took over more and more of the household chores, practically hovering over her with a devotion that was both endearing andâjust occasionallyâa little over the top. But that was Harry; he never did anything halfway, and preparing to become a dad was no exception.
One evening, after a long day, they lay in bed, YN nestled against Harryïżœïżœs chest as he rested a hand on her belly. His fingers traced slow, absentminded circles over her small bump, his gaze softening as he looked down at her.
âHave yâthought about names?â he asked quietly, voice almost a murmur. There was a trace of wonder in his eyes, as if he were asking the question for the first time.
She smiled, shrugging lightly. The idea of names had been floating around in her mind for a while, but nothing had quite felt right yet. âMm, Iâve got a few in mind,â she said with a teasing glint in her eye. âThink Iâm just gonna call âem Fetus for now.â
Harry let out a laugh, his face lighting up as he shook his head. âPoor kid,â he said, voice full of warmth. He shifted lower, pressing a soft kiss to her belly. âFetus Styles,â he whispered against her skin, his lips brushing her gently, sending a spark of laughter through her.
Her smile never faltered, fingers combing through his curls as he settled his head on her bump, gazing up at her through his lashes. He held her gaze for a moment, then suddenly broke into a grin, blowing raspberries onto her belly with glint in his eye.
She laughed, Harry faltering into her growing tummy as his phone began to ting with a mess of texts. He grabbed his phone that lay upon his wifeâs thighs, sitting up beside her against the headboard with a wide smile as the phone illuminated his face.
She knit her eyebrows together, leaning her head against his shoulder. âWho has you smiling?â
He unlocked his phone, âLou. I told him I had to talk to him tonight.â
She laughed as Harry clicked on the contact, pressing the facetime icon as the ringing filled the air. âItâs what..?â She trailed off, flickering her eyes in thought. âNoon in LA? Surprised heâs even up.â
After a beat, the screen flashed to life, and there he wasâLouis, bleary-eyed, half-sprawled across his couch, nursing a mug of tea. He squinted at the screen, a smirk forming as he took them both in.
âBloody âell, look at you two all cozy!â He drawled, taking a sip. âThought I was interrupting somethinâ.â He chuckled, giving them a teasing wink.
Harry rolled his eyes, holding the phone between them. âShut up. Weâre just havinâ a quiet night in.â He glanced over at YN, then back at the screen, his grin a little wider. ââNd I needed to talk tâyou, yeah?â
Louisâs smirk softened, curiosity lighting up his expression. âRight. Whatâs this then?â
He took a quick breath, almost unable to keep the smile off his face as he turned the phone back to YN, who gave Louis a warm smile before glancing at Harry. He squeezed her shoulder, then looked back to the screen, letting the words tumble out. âWeâre havinâ a baby!â
For a moment, Louis just stared, the mug paused halfway to his lips as he absorbed the words. His mouth broke into a grin, and he let out a laugh. âOi, youâre pullinâ my leg!â He leaned closer, shaking his head. âWait, wait, youâre serious, arenât ya?â
âDead serious,â YN said, her voice gentle as she leaned in closer to Harry. âWeâve known for a few weeks now, but wanted to tell you ourselves.â
He sat up straighter, rubbing a hand over his face as he took it in, his grin somehow widening. âJesus, Haz. A dad,â he mused, a playful sparkle in his eye. âI mean, didnât see this cominâ back when you were too busy worryinâ about a pair of blue suede shoes to think about nappies.â
Harry let out a laugh, playfully nudging YN. âSee, Iâm just followinâ yâexample, mate.â
Louis snorted, giving a mock scowl. âBetter beâFreddieâs halfway to graduating high school it feels like. Youâve got some catchinâ up to do.â He settled back into the couch, softening as he looked at them both. âBut seriously, this is brilliant, you two. Gonna make one hell of a mum and dad, arenât ya?â
Harry glanced over at YN, his gaze lingering, soft and full of a quiet pride. âHope so,â he said, smiling down at her before turning back to Louis. âJust been⊠sittinâ with it. So many things I wanna teach âem, yâknow?â
âBest get started on that lullaby playlist, then,â Lou teased, though there was warmth in his tone. âBet youâre already planninâ that first guitar lesson.â
YN laughed, rubbing a hand over her belly. âItâs just been a whirlwind, honestly. We havenât even found out the gender yet.â
Louis grinned, raising an eyebrow. âSurprise ân all? Makes it even better. Though if yâneed tips on anythinâ, Iâve got all the dad tricksâlike what not to say when theyâre askinâ questions in front of their mum.â
âGreat,â Harry chuckled. âStart a whole book for me, will ya?â
Lou winked, lifting his mug. âAlready makinâ notes. First chapterâs on nappies and the art of avoidinâ baby food on your shirt.â Then, his expression softened as he leaned closer. âNah, for real. Couldnât be happier for you two. And for that kid, too. Already got the best start with you both.â
Harry swallowed, his hand finding YNâs, giving it a gentle squeeze as he held his friendâs gaze through the screen. âMeans a lot, youâll be his grumpy, old uncle, yeah?â
Louis grinned, nodding with a playful glint in his eye. âBest beâIâll have âem singinâ the chorus to No Control by the time Iâm done. YN, darling, donât you worryâIâll keep him in line.â
YN chuckled, leaning her head on Harryâs shoulder. âIâll hold you to that, Lou.â
âDamn right you will,â Louis shot back, settling back against his couch, eyes full of pride and a mischievous excitement. âAnd when Iâm back over, sâgonna be you two doinâ the nappies, while I teach that kid how to annoy his dad.â
Harry feigned a groan, rolling his eyes dramatically. âWhy am I not surprised?â
âCheers, mate.â Louis raised his mug, a glimmer of something genuine in his gaze. âCanât wait. Love you both, yeah?â
Harry grinned, feeling the weight of Louisâs words. âLove you, too, Lou. Cheers.â
And as they hung up, YN nestled closer, both of them feeling the joy of sharing their secret with someone whoâd been there for it all.
A few months had passed, and YN was officially eighteen weeks pregnant. The kitchen was quiet, filled with the warm scent of vanilla as Harry carefully set a single white cupcake on the counter. Heâd insisted on something private, just the two of them. No big reveal party or confettiâjust a simple cupcake with the surprise hidden inside. YN stood beside him, hands resting on her bump, a grin tugging at her lips as she watched him fuss over it.
âYouâre really gonna make me cry over a cupcake, arenât you?â she teased, nudging him lightly.
Harryâs eyes sparkled as he looked over at her, dimples deepening. âJust yâwait.â He handed her the small knife, his fingers brushing hers, and his voice softened. âReady?â
She nodded, her heartbeat picking up as she sliced through the cupcake. Slowly, she pulled the two halves apart, then stared down at the filling inside.
Bright green.
For a moment, they both froze, staring down in complete confusion. Harry tilted his head, mouth slightly open, brow furrowed as he looked at her, then back at the cupcake. âUh⊠mâpretty sure green wasnât one of the options.â
YN snorted, a laugh bubbling out as she lifted the cupcake up to inspect it. âMaybe theyâre tellinâ us weâre having a little Niall?â
Harryâs eyes crinkled as he burst into laughter, clutching his chest. âGod help us if thereâs a little Irish guitar player in there.â
She grinned, wiping a tear of laughter from her eye. âYou think theyâll come out singinâ âMull of Kintyreâ?â
Harry laughed, covering his face with his hand. âFirst wordsâll be potato, just yâwatch.â He shook his head, still chuckling. âThis is what we get for trustinâ a bloody cupcake.â
She rolled her eyes, reaching for her bag on the counter. âShouldâve gone with the doctorâs letter instead of dessert.â After a moment of rummaging, she triumphantly held up the small, folded envelope, smiling. âAlright, now you ready?â
Harry nodded, moving closer, his hand resting gently over hers as she slowly unfolded the paper. They both took a breath, glancing at each other before reading the bold, printed words inside.
Right underneath a blurry ultrasound picture printed onto the visit summary, there it was written.
Fetal sex: Male
For a heartbeat, they both just stared at the words, the realization washing over them like a warm tide.
âA little boy,â Harry murmured, his voice filled with awe as he shook his head in disbelief. âWeâre gonna have a son.â
YNâs eyes sparkled as she looked at him, a wide smile breaking across her face. âA son,â she repeated softly, her hand covering his on her belly. Already, she could see himâa little boy with Harryâs eyes, his laughter, his kindness.
Harry swallowed, his own eyes misty as he leaned in, pressing a tender kiss to her forehead, then resting his against hers. âThink weâre ready for him?â
She let out a soft laugh, brushing away a tear. âNot even close,â she whispered, her fingers lacing with his over her belly. âBut I think weâll do just fine.â
It was mid February by this point, a few weeks after celebrating Harryâs twenty-fifth birthday. The air had a sharp chill, and YN readjusted Harryâs oversized hoodie that hung off her growing frame, something that hid her bump well. They were dressed comfy and warm, Harry in a pair of sunnies with his hoodie pulled over his head. She nestled closer into her husband as they walked through the quiet side streets of London. Theyâd just finished lunch at their favorite cafĂ©, savoring the rare chance to slip out together unnoticed. She pulled the hoodie over her head as a gust of wind brushed by.
âWish we had days like this more often,â Harry murmured, his fingers lacing through hers as they made their way back to the car. âJust us, yâknow?â
She smiled, leaning into him. âYou mean just the two of us and fetus?â
Harry squeaked out a laugh that sounded like the ones from his early days in the x-factor, squeezing her hand. âRight, fetus. Canât forget our little tagalong now.â
But as they turned onto the next street, something shiftedâa distant hum of voices, then a sharp click of a camera. Before they could react, the quiet street filled with flashes, and a group of paparazzi materialized around them, spilling onto the sidewalk.
It wasnât a swarm, just about five or so that were tipped off about Harry walking about the city in a pair of sunnies, as if that could keep him hidden.
âHarry! Harry! Just one photo!â A bald man shouted, pushing forward. The camera flashes came in rapid succession, blinding in the midday light.
He immediately shifted, drawing YN closer to his side, his hand protectively resting into her waist as he tried to steer her forward. âAlright, mate, thatâs close enough,â he called out, his voice tense but calm.
âHarry, are the rumors true?â another voice shouted, barely inches from them, more cameras held up like a barrier.
âJust please let us through, yeah?â Harryâs voice was firmer now, his hand moving to shield YNâs face, pressing her into his chest as the crowd closed in tighter.
A jostle from the side sent her stumbling, and Harryâs arm tightened around her, his jaw clenched. âHey, enough!â he barked, his voice sharper than sheâd ever heard it. He guided her forward, his body acting as a buffer as he tried to clear a path.
âJust one shot, Harry!â a paparazzo persisted, his lens pointed squarely at YN, his hand cupping her cheek as he pressed her face further into his chest, her heart pounding as she held onto Harry.
He shot a glare of his shoulder, jaw clenched as he remained silent, maneuvering his wife past the cameras, his hand never leaving her. He kept his eyes trained ahead as he led her through the last stretch to his car.
Finally reaching the door, he opened it for her, a quick but steady gesture, ushering her in and following right after. The cameras pressed in one last time as he shut the door firmly, finally sealing them off from the swarm outside.
Inside, the car was quiet, insulated from the chaos that still buzzed outside, windows tinted as legally possible. YN let out a shaky breath, her hands in her hoodie pocket as she glanced over at Harry. His face was flushed, a mix of worry and lingering frustration in his eyes.
âYou okay?â He asked, his voice gentler now, his hand pulling hers out of the pocket, thumb brushing over her knuckles as he studied her face.
She nodded with a faint smile, trying to steady herself. âNot our first rodeo, H.â She tried to joke. And it was true, it surely wasnât the first time theyâve been bombarded by paps. YN wasnât famous prior to meeting Harry, a smart girl as beautiful as she, he simply couldnât ignore.
She was a friend of Anneâs best friendâs daughter, bumping into each other at a family gathering in 2014, immediately becoming close friends. He offered her a ride home that night, and when she thanked him profusely and offered to give him gas money, he knew then and there he was going to fall in love with this woman.
Fans and paps galore started delving into her life in late 2015, when a grainy picture of them kissing at a bar after a London show exploded on twitter. Since then, she always known about the lack of privacy in Harryâs life. And honestly, sheâs still trying to adjust to it.
He exhaled, his fingers tightening around hers. âHate that they got that close to you. Wish theyâd just..â He trailed off, clenching his jaw as he glanced out the window, his gaze hardening when he saw the cameras still lingering in the distance.
She squeezed his hand, her voice soft. âItâs alright, baby. Iâm alright.â She could see the tension in his shoulders slowly easing, though he still held her hand as if anchoring himself. âThey donât know, and thatâs okay for now. Itâs just us, remember?â
Harry nodded as he pulled from the curb, driving down the narrow street toward the red light. He turned back to her, his green eyes softening, and he nodded slowly. âJust us. Right.â His shoulders relaxed a little more, a trace of a smile returning to his face as he leaned in, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead while the light was still red.
But before he could pull away, she let out a small gasp, eyes widening as she felt a firm, insistent little nudge low on her belly. She looked up at him, her own hand moving instinctively to her bump.
Green illuminated over them, a honking echoing from behind as he froze in concern. âWhat?â He breathed, turning a corner to head to the grocery store in the distance, seeking a temporary refuge in the parking lot. He glanced between YN and the road, heart beating in his ears. âBaby, whatâs wrong?â He raised his voice, though it wasnât out of anger, just an anxiety that threatened to boil over.
She shook her head, her face breaking into a soft smile. âNothingâs wrong, Harry. He just kicked.â
Harryâs eyes lit up instantly, his frustration melting away as he stared at her, a grin forming slowly. âHe did?â
She nodded, pulling his hand to her belly as he parked. âRight here. Just now.â
He held his breath, his palm pressed against her bump, waiting. And there it was againâa tiny but unmistakable kick, nudging firmly against his hand.
Harryâs face broke into a radiant smile, his whole expression softening with awe. âOi, thereâs my little striker,â he mused, his voice thick with affection as he looked down at her belly. âWeâll have you in a Man United kit before youâre out of nappies, wonât we?â
She laughed, his words melting away the last traces of tension from the encounter outside. âGetting a bit ahead of yourself, arenât you? Picking his team and all?â
He grinned, his eyes crinkling with pure excitement. âNo chance heâll be an Arsenal player.. First kicks mean weâve got a future midfielder on our hands, yeah?â He grinned, âDads gonna make sure yâgot the right colors on you, bub.â
YN couldnât help but laugh, her heart swelling as she watched the joy take over his face. She reached up, tucking a curl behind his ear, her fingers lingering against his cheek. âHeâs already got you wrapped around his tiny little foot.â
Harry chuckled, leaning in to kiss her, his hand still resting against her belly, feeling another small nudge. âSâpose Iâll let him get away with it. Just this once.â
*
March arrived in a blink.
It was early, the kind of early that still belonged to the night, when Harryâs phone buzzed on the bedside table. The world outside was still draped in darkness, the streets silent, as if London itself hadnât quite woken up. Harry stirred, slowly pulled from the depths of sleep by the vibration of his phone. He squinted in the dim light, his vision blurry, barely able to make out the name on the screen. Jeff.
With a quiet sigh, Harry picked up the phone, pressing it to his ear and trying to shake off the last bits of sleep that clung to him. He glanced over to YN, who lay nestled beside him, her breathing soft and even, lost in a peaceful slumber. Gently, he reached out and brushed his fingers along her cheek, a tired but adoring smile tugging at his lips. She stirred slightly, her head nuzzling into his hand, and he felt a warmth rise in his chest. Moments like this felt sacred, untouched by the outside world.
But then Jeffâs voice broke through the stillness, sharp and apologetic.
âHarry,â Jeff said, his tone low and serious, as if he wished he were calling for any other reason. âListen, I hate to do this to you, but weâve got a situation.â
Harry straightened, a cold feeling settling in his stomach. âWhat is it, mate?â he asked, his voice barely above a whisper, unwilling to wake YN just yet. He kept his hand on her cheek, his thumb brushing gently along her skin, grounding himself as he listened.
âThereâs a magazine,â Jeff continued with a hesitant sigh. âThey got photos of you and YN leaving the clinic yesterday after the ultrasound. Theyâre planning to release them tomorrowânoon sharp.â
The words hit him like a punch to the gut. Harryâs jaw tightened after he took a shaky breath, his eyes falling back on YN, still blissfully asleep. Theyâd planned everything so carefully, wanting to share the news of their son on their own terms. Theyâd waited for the perfect moment, wanting to protect this piece of their life from the relentless intrusion of the outside world. And now, it was slipping out of their hands.
âTomorrow?â he murmured, his heart pounding. He felt a surge of anger rising, and he closed his eyes, trying to steady himself. Jeff waited in silence on the other end of the line, letting him process the news.
âYeah,â Jeff said softly. âI wanted to give you a heads-up. Figured youâd want to tell people yourselves, do it in a way that feels right.â
Harry nodded, even though Jeff couldnât see him, his fingers still resting on YNâs cheek, feeling the soft warmth of her skin. âThanks, Jeff,â he finally whispered, his voice tight. âIâllâermâweâll figure it out.â
He ended the call and placed the phone back on the table, his shoulders slumping as he tried to process what to do next. He looked down at YN, her face peaceful in the darkness, and he felt a pang of guilt at the thought of waking her. She deserved this moment of rest, free from worry and the weight of the world pressing in on them. But he knew he couldnât keep this from her. Not when it was about their son.
Leaning down, he pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead, his hand moving to cradle her cheek as he murmured softly, âBaby, wake up.â
She stirred, her brows knitting together as she blinked up at him, still half-asleep, a faint smile gracing her lips as she registered his face. âH?â she whispered, her voice groggy and warm. âWhat time is it?â
âToo early,â he murmured, his own voice weighed down by the news he had to deliver. âSorry tâwake you, but thereâs something we need tâtalk about.â
Her eyes focused, a flicker of concern replacing the drowsiness as she sat up a bit, her hand resting on his. âWhatâs wrong?â
Harry took a deep breath, brushing a thumb across her cheek. âItâs the pictures,â he paused with a sigh, âfrom yesterday, after our appointment. Paparazzi took photos, and theyâre planning to release them by noon tomorrow.â
The weight of his words settled over her, and she let out a quiet sigh, her gaze dropping to the bed. Theyâd known this was a possibilityâtheir lives were never entirely privateâbut it didnât make it any easier to swallow. She leaned into his touch, her fingers lacing through his as they both sat there in the stillness of the early morning, grappling with the realization that their hand was being forced.
âWhat do we do?â she asked softly, looking up at him with a mixture of worry and sadness.
Harryâs hand moved to hold hers, his grip gentle but steady. âWe tell everyone ourselves. Today. Weâll release it before they can, on our own terms.â He paused, his voice softening. âItâs not what we planned, but, at least we can still share him with the world our way.â
YN gave him a small nod, her eyes meeting his with a quiet resilience. They both knew they didnât have any other choice. She leaned into him, and he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close as they took a moment to steady themselves, finding strength in each other.
âOkay,â she murmured after a beat. âI trust you.â
They spent the next hour in the quiet sanctuary of their bedroom, talking about how to share the news. Eventually, Harry decided on something simple, something that would feel personal without giving too much away. He reached for his phone and opened the photo gallery, scrolling until he found the ultrasound image from their last appointment. It was a grainy black-and-white shot, but to him, it was beautifulâa glimpse of their son, small and precious, already loved beyond measure.
He glanced at YN, who gave him a reassuring nod, and then he took a deep breath, opening Instagram. With his fingers hovering over the screen, he crafted the caption, choosing each word carefully, his heart pounding in his chest.
Iâve been waiting to share this part of our journey with you all for a while now. YN and I are expecting a son, and we couldnât be happier to welcome him into the world soon. Thank you for your love and supportâcanât wait for you to meet him.
Love, H
He read it over, then looked at YN, who leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder. She gave him a small smile, her fingers brushing his arm. âItâs perfect, babyâ
With a final deep breath, he hit post, setting the phone down and letting out a long, steadying exhale. They sat there in the quiet of their room, wrapped up in each other as the reality of what theyâd just done settled over them. This was the first time they were sharing their son with the world, and it felt both exhilarating and terrifying.
Within moments, notifications began to flood in, messages of excitement, love, and support from fans around the world who had been waiting eagerly for news like this. Harry glanced at YN, his hand finding hers once more as he gave her a small, relieved smile.
âCats outâv the bag.â He laughed softly.
She leaned into him, pressing a soft kiss to his shoulder. âThey love you, H. Theyâll love him, too.â She reassured.
As the sun finally began to rise outside their window, casting a gentle warmth over the room, Harry held her close, feeling a sense of peace he hadnât expected. Despite the forced timing, despite the circumstances, they had done this together. And from this moment on, they would continue this journ, hand in hand, as a family.
Weeks passed by, and it another chilly March evening, and soft candlelight flickered in the bathroom, casting a warm glow over the walls as steam rose lazily from the tub. The couple sat tucked into the water, surrounded by a mountain of bubbles that floated between them. The bathroom was cozy as Harryâs arms wrapped around her from behind, she leaned back against his chest, her bump nestled between them.
Heâd insisted on running the bath for her, adding just the right amount of lavender oil to soothe her muscles, and now they were enveloped in that warm, calming scent, the soft sounds of water lapping around them. Harryâs hands rested gently on her belly, his fingers tracing light circles over the stretched skin as he hummed contentedly, clearly lost in thought.
After a few minutes of quiet, he dipped his head to press a kiss to her shoulder, murmuring, âYou know, we havenât really settled on a name yet.â
YN grinned, biting back a laugh. "Sure we have. Fetus Stylesâdonât you remember?â
Harry groaned dramatically, his head falling back against the tub. "God help this boy."
She chuckled, turning her head to look at him. "Fine, fine. So, what do you have in mind, love?"
Harry hummed thoughtfully, his fingers still tracing light circles over her bump. "I dunno. Something that isnât Fetus or something basic, like David.â
"Otis?" she suggested with a playful smirk. She knew he hated the name.
He snorted, his chest vibrating against her back, shaking his head. "Baby, Otis is the name of that big slobbery dog at the park. Our son deserves better than being named after a drool machine."
She playfully splashed a few bubbles toward him, her laughter filling the room.. "Alright, alright. So, we're vetoing Otis and Fetus, oh wise one.â
âGood,â he said, lowering his head ever so slightly and nibbling her shoulders gently. âSo, what else is on your list, then?â
She leaned her head back against his shoulder, looking up at the ceiling as she tried to recall some of the names sheâd been turning over in her mind. âI do like Ezra.â
âEzra,â he repeated, as if tasting the sound of it. âItâs alright. But it sounds like heâd be in a jazz band or something.â
âMaybe heâll be in a jazz band,â she countered, grinning as she nudged his arm. âA little musician just like his dad.â
Harry hummed, his fingers lightly drumming a rhythm against her belly. âAlright, fair point. Ezra can be a maybe. What else?â
She let out a thoughtful hum, swirling her hand through the bubbles. âWhat about August?â
âAugustâs alright I guess,â he said slowly, tilting his head as he considered it. âBut I donât know. August Styles..feels like heâd be a mischievous little troublemaker.â
âLike his dad, you mean?â she teased, glancing up at him with a knowing smile.
He grinned, shrugging. âIf he takes after me, heâll definitely be one,â he admitted, pressing a kiss to her temple. âBut I dunno. Still doesnât feel quite right. But I do like the idea of an A name.â
They lapsed into a comfortable silence, each of them lost in their thoughts as the water lapped softly around them. Harryâs hands moved back to her belly, his touch gentle and reverent, as if he were trying to connect with their son through the warm water and the growing curve of her bump. She closed her eyes, letting herself sink into the warmth of the bath and the feeling of his arms around her.
After a while, Harry spoke again, his voice soft and thoughtful. âWhat about Atlas?â
YN opened her eyes, blinking up at him, a smile tugging at her lips. âAtlas?â
âYeah.â He shifted slightly, his hand still resting on her belly as he looked at her, his eyes warm. âItâs strong, yâknow? Unique. I like the idea of him having a name that feels like he could carry the world if he wanted to.â
YN let the name settle, repeating it to herself, and feeling it take root, becoming more than just a word. âAtlas Styles,â she said softly, letting the sound roll off her tongue. âIt fits him, I think. Strong like his kicks.â She giggled.
Harryâs face lit up as he grinned down at her, his dimples deepening, a twinkle of something unspoken sparking in his eyes. âExactly,â he murmured, trailing a hand gently over her bump. âAtlas Styles. Got the name of a proper legend already. Manchester United should be countinâ themselves lucky.â
YN laughed again, rolling her eyes as she turned to face him. âOh, really? Our boy is still going to save Manchester United, is he?â
âObviously,â Harry said, his grin widening. âJust imagine itâAtlas Styles, midfield maestro, dominating the pitch. The crowd chanting his name.â He mimics the sound of a roaring crowd in a hush, ââAtlas! Atlas!â He chanted in a whisper, âUnited will have never seen anything like him. Theyâd be winning the league every season with a name like that.â
She shook her head, fighting a laugh as she slipped a few bubbles onto his nose. âRight, because he wonât be busy enough carrying the world. Heâll just take Manchester United on his back too?â
Harry shrugged, brushing the bubbles away with a look of mock seriousness. âOur little Atlas can handle it all. With a name like that, heâll be unstoppable.â He leaned closer, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek. âBut, if heâs not into football, I sâpose thatâs alright too.â
YN smiled, squeezing his hand, warmth spreading through her as she thought of their little Atlas and all the dreams they had for himâfootballer or not, world-bearer or not, he would be loved beyond measure.
*
The rain pattered softly against the window as April rolled in, casting a gentle gray light over the nursery. YN stood by the door, watching Harry wrestle with the crib pieces scattered across the floor. She cradled her belly, which had grown significantly in the last month. Her due date was set for mid-May, only a few weeks away, and she could feel the weight of their son settling lower, as if he, too, was getting ready for the journey ahead.
Harry sat cross-legged on the floor, brow furrowed in intense concentration as he squinted at the instruction manual. The crib, which he had eagerly declared would be a breeze to assemble, now looked more like puzzle pieces that lay scattered around him, screws and wooden slats in disarray, as he muttered under his breath.
âAre you sure you donât want me to help?â YN asked with a soft grin, leaning against the doorway as she watched him struggle.
He looked up, shooting her a playful glare. âIâve got it, thanks,â he insisted, though he seemed far from convinced himself. He twisted a screwdriver, only for the wood to creak ominously in protest. Harryâs cheeks flushed, and YN bit her lip, stifling a laugh.
âSure you do,â she teased, crossing her arms over her bump. âMaybe our son will be crawling by the time you figure that out.â
Harry chuckled, dropping the screwdriver with a resigned sigh. âAlright, alright,â he said, running a hand through his curls as he gave her a dramatic pout. âGo on, laugh at the man trying his best to be a good dad. Just what I need, huh?â
She laughed, stepping into the room to get a closer look at his progressâor lack thereof. âYouâre doing great, honey,â she said, her tone light. âMaybe just⊠not great at building cribs?â
He rolled his eyes, but the hint of a grin played at the corners of his mouth. âYouâre lucky Iâm too tired to argue,â he mumbled. Then, before she could respond, he reached out, gently tugging her down to sit beside him.
âHey!â she gasped, though she let him guide her down, leaning into his arms. Her back rested against his chest, and Harry wrapped his arms around her middle, pressing a soft kiss to her cheek.
He maneuvered her gently onto the carpet, hovering over as his hands resting on either side of her, leaning close, his face only inches from hers, a mischievous glint in his eyes. âMaybe I should distract you so yâcanât mock me,â he murmured, his voice teasing.
Before she could respond, he started peppering her face with kissesâone on her forehead, her cheeks, her nose, her chin. She squealed, laughing as he continued, his lips brushing against her skin, his stubble tickling her and sending her into a fit of giggles.
âHarry!â she gasped between breaths, her hands on his shoulders as she tried to squirm away. âYouâre ridiculous!â
âRidiculous?â he repeated, grinning as he planted a kiss just above her lips. âMaybe. But itâs working, isnât it?â
She gave him a playful shove, but he only laughed, pulling her closer as he trailed his kisses down to her neck, the weight of him comforting as he hovered over her, his hands gentle on her sides. Finally, when her laughter had softened, he leaned back just enough to look into her eyes, his gaze warm and full of affection.
God, how he loved her.
After a moment, he brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, his thumb lingering on her cheek. âAlright,â he said with a sigh, glancing over at the mess of crib parts. âMaybe I could use those hands of yours.â
YN smiled, brushing her hand down his chest. âHm,â she hummed, âwhere?â
âOi!â The brunette giggled, swatting her wandering hand away as he sat up, shifting to be beside her. âWicked woman, you are. Get to work.â
She huffed, although there was no anger residing in her. Maybe an ache between her thighs, but thatâs something she could sort out with her husband later. She sat up, sitting cross legged beside Harry as he reached for the instruction manual.
The two of them sat side by side on the nursery floor, her hand resting over his as they sorted through the crib parts. Harry studied the instructions once more, pointing out the next few steps with a renewed confidence that was helped by her steady presence beside him. YN held the pieces steady while Harry carefully tightened each screw, the two of them working together, their laughter filling the room whenever something went slightly wrong.
Finally, after some teamwork, a bit of trial and error, and more than a few shared smiles, they placed the last piece into place, and the crib stood finished in front of them. They both sat back, admiring their handiwork, their hands intertwined as they took in the sight of the nursery coming together, piece by piece.
Harry looked over at YN, his gaze soft as he took in her face, still flushed from laughter. âNot bad for a couple of first-timers, huh?â
She leaned her head on his shoulder, holding her hands out in front of them and wiggling her fingers. âThanks to these.â
He snorted, gently taking her chin in his grasp to force her to look at him. âShut up and kiss me.â
As time passed by quicker than ever, spring took the city by full force, it was finally May. Flowers bloomed in their garden, trees shook with the delicate breeze of a looming summer. The sun fell behind the hills later and later, still offering a golden glow as they ate dinner.
A gentle rain drummed against the windows as YN and Harry shared a cozy dinner on the sofa, the warm light of a movie and fading sunlight flickering across their faces. They were nestled together, plates balanced on laps (and bump) as they laughed at an old comedy. Outside, the world felt comfortably distant. Everything about this moment felt ordinary, like the calm before a long-anticipated storm.
But YN hadnât been entirely honest with Harry tonight. She had felt a dull ache creeping into her lower back and belly since late afternoon, a sensation she had brushed off as yet another round of Braxton Hicks contractions. Her OB had warned her that false alarms would be common in these final weeks, and sheâd already had a few where theyâd rushed to the hospital only to be sent back home. So tonight, sheâd told herself that it was nothingâjust her body practicing, nothing more. But as they watched the movie, she found herself shifting uncomfortably, her breaths deepening whenever another wave rolled through her.
The contractions had grown stronger as they ate, each one hitting her lower back with a dull, throbbing ache before tightening sharply across her belly. She bit her lip, forcing a smile whenever Harry glanced her way, trying to play it off. But she couldnât ignore the way her body tensed or the cold bead of sweat she felt on her brow as she worked to stay composed.
As they finished their dinner, Harry stretched and stood, gathering their plates with a grin. âThink Iâll wash these up. You just sit there and relax, yeah?â
She smiled, nodding as he carried their dishes into the kitchen. He hummed softly to himself as he washed the plates, oblivious to the intensity of the pain building within her. She took a deep breath, gripping the edge of the sofa as a new wave hit, this one sharper than before, radiating from her lower back and spreading between her hips, each pulse making her muscles contract and tighten. She fought to keep her breathing steady, her mind racing as she tried to convince herself it was nothing.
But then, as she watched Harry rinse a glass, her vision blurred with another wave of painâdeeper, sharper, as if her body was tightening from the inside out. Her breath hitched, and this time she couldnât hide the small gasp that escaped her. She braced herself against the sofa, her fingers digging into the fabric as she fought to breathe through it.
Harry looked over, his brow furrowing as he noticed the tension on her face. He set the glass down in the sink, wiping his hands on a towel as he stepped back into the living room. âLove?â he asked, a hint of worry creeping into his voice. âYou alright?â
She forced a smile, trying to play it off, but her voice came out strained. âIâm fine. Justââ She grunted, âBraxton Hicks, I think.â But even as she spoke, it was like an aftershock of an earthquake, stealing her breath, the pain sharper than before. Her hand flew to her belly, fingers pressing down instinctively, and she had to close her eyes, focusing all her energy on breathing through it.
Harryâs eyes narrowed, his jaw tightening as he knelt beside her, his hand moving to rest on her knee. âThat doesnât look like Braxton Hicks,â he said gently, his voice laced with concern. âHow longâs this been going on?â
She hesitated, looking down as she tried to keep her breathing composed. âSinceâ since earlier this afternoon,â she admitted, wincing as the pain reached its peak, leaving her feeling helpless and raw. âI thought it was nothing, really. But itâsâI dunnoâ itâs getting worse.â
Harryâs face shifted from concern to something closer to alarm. He was quiet for a moment, clearly trying to process her words, before his gaze softened, and he slid his hand to hers, squeezing it gently. âAlright,â he murmured, his voice steadying. âWeâre not going to take any chances.â
YN nodded, relief flooding her at the calm resolve in his voice, but as she tried to stand, another contraction gripped herâthis time harder than any before. It started as a dull ache that quickly sharpened into an almost searing pressure, as though her whole belly was clenching in waves she couldnât control. She gasped, her knees buckling slightly as she clutched Harryâs arm.
Harryâs eyes widened as he caught her, his face shifting into a worried frown. âItâs happening, isnât it?â he whispered, almost to himself, before shaking off the shock and focusing on her. He wrapped an arm around her, guiding her back down to the sofa with a gentle firmness. âWeâre going tâbreathe through this one, yeah? Just like we practiced.â
She clung to his hand, squeezing hard as she fought to steady her breathing, but the pain was relentless, each wave feeling sharper than the last. Her body felt like it was working against her, every muscle tightening until she was gasping, unable to fully catch her breath. She buried her face against his shoulder, her voice a shaky whisper. âH, this hurts more than I thought it would.â
He brushed a hand through her hair, his voice soft but unwavering as he held her close. âI know, baby. Youâre doing so well. Just focus on breathing, alright? Iâve got you.â
As the contraction faded, she managed to catch her breath, slumping slightly against him, feeling a mix of exhaustion and dread for what was coming next. She felt his hand at the small of her back, steadying her, and she was grateful for the warmth of his touch, the calm he radiated even as she could see the worry flickering in his eyes.
âWeâre calling the OB,â he said, his voice gentle but firm. âThis doesnât feel like false labor, does it?â
She shook her head, unable to deny the reality that had settled in. âNo..I think this is real.â
Harryâs face softened, a mix of pride and worry as he watched her breathe through everything. When the pain passed, he took her face in his hands, his thumb brushing lightly over her cheek. âOkay,â he whispered, his voice steady. âWeâre going to get you through this, love. One breath at a time.â
With that, he stood, reaching for his phone and dialing their OB, staying right by her side as the call connected. He answered each of the doctorâs questions carefully, glancing at YN between each answer, his hand never leaving hers. After a few minutes, he hung up and turned back to her, a mixture of excitement and resolve in his gaze.
âShe says it sounds like early labor,â he told her softly, brushing a lock of hair behind her ear. âWeâre going tâthe hospital. Just you and me, hm?â
YN nodded, taking a steadying breath as she leaned into him, his strength anchoring her. With Harryâs arms wrapped around her, she knew that she had everything she needed to get through this.
The rain had softened to a gentle drizzle as Harry helped YN into the car, settling her carefully into the passenger seat, his hands gentle but steady. Her breaths were deep and focused, each one an effort to keep herself calm as the contractions continued, not close enough to urge a rush but strong enough to leave her nerves buzzing with anticipation. Harry buckled her in, his gaze warm and reassuring as he brushed his hand over her shoulder.
âYouâre doing great, sweet girl,â he hummed, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead. âNext stop, hospital. Just you, me, and our little Atlas.â
YN managed a faint smile, squeezing his hand as he lingered beside her for a moment before closing the door and sliding into the driverâs seat. The car pulled away from their quiet street, its headlights cutting through the misty drizzle, as they made their way into the city. She leaned her head back against the seat, focusing on the rhythm of the rain tapping against the windows, letting the steady sound settle her mind.
As they drove, Harry glanced over at her frequently, his hand occasionally drifting from the wheel to hold hers. âLet me know if you need anything, yeah?â he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. âOr if I need to pull over. Anything at all.â
He rambled when he was nervous.
YN nodded, keeping her eyes closed, breathing slowly. Another contraction started, gripping her with that same deep ache that radiated from her back to her belly. She clenched his hand, squeezing as she focused on her breathing, her fingers white-knuckling against his. It was painful, but she willed herself to relax, to breathe through the intensity, letting her breath match the gentle rhythm of the rain.
Harry squeezed her hand back, his thumb tracing small circles on her skin. âOut of all women in the world who gave birth, youâre the most beautiful.â He smiled warily. His stupid compliment even made him want to smack himself upside the head. But he looked at his wife expectantly.
When the contraction passed, she released a shaky breath. Part of her wanted to shoot daggers into him with a glare, but looking at that goofy smile she fell in love with, the way his cheeks flushed pink and eyes looked unsure, she couldnât. She mustered out a weak, breathy laugh.âShut up.â She whispered.
They reached the hospital, and Harry pulled up to the lot, parking the car before rushing around to help her out. He wrapped an arm around her, guiding her through the automatic doors, his gaze steady and protective as he led her to the reception desk. The lobby was quiet, lit by soft fluorescent lights that made the polished floors gleam. Harry gently rubbed her back as they reached the counter, where a man with glasses and a walkie looked up with a polite smile.
âHi,â Harry said, his voice calm but firm, âweâre here for an admission. Our OB requested it.â He grinned lightly, seeking to be polite despite his nerves. He gave his wifeâs name through his smile.
The receptionist nodded, typing something into the computer before glancing back at YN, who was gripping Harryâs hand, her face pale and tense. After a moment, the man looked up. âAlright, we have you here. Just a moment.â
He picked up the phone, speaking briefly with someone before hanging up and nodding toward them. âPatient transport is on the way. Weâll get you into a wheelchair and up to the maternity ward to get settled.â
Harry thanked him, his hand resting on the small of her back, he murmured, âyâdoing so well, my sweet girl.â
She leaned into him, exhaling a shaky breath as another mild contraction started to creep in, but before she could fully brace herself, a transport worker arrived with a wheelchair.
Harry helped her ease down into it, kneeling beside her and brushing his thumb over her hand. She looked down at him, her expression a mix of pain and determination. âIâm alright,â she whispered, her words braver than she felt.
He met her gaze, his eyes full of pride and unwavering support. âI know you are,â he said softly, pressing a kiss to her knuckles before he stood and walked beside her as they made their way to the elevator. The ride up was quiet, each floor lighting up in sequence as they ascended to the maternity ward, and she found herself counting each breath, each second, each floor, until they finally reached the unit.
Once inside the labor and delivery ward, they were greeted by a nurse who led them into a dimly lit room that felt strangely peaceful, its walls painted a soft pink, the lights warm and low. The nurse introduced herself, her voice calm and soothing as she helped YN settle onto the bed, helping her into a hospital gown before taking her vital signs and asking a series of questions, jotting down notes while Harry sat by her side, holding her hand.
âLetâs get you as comfortable as we can,â the nurse said gently, adjusting the bedâs settings. âNow, youâre still in early labor, so weâre going to monitor you closely, but it could be a while yet.â
YN nodded, feeling both grateful and anxious at the prospect of waiting. The contractions continued, rolling in like waves, growing in intensity but not yet regular enough to signal active labor. Each one required her full focus; she found herself closing her eyes, breathing deeply as she squeezed Harryâs hand, centering herself with each wave of pain.
Hours passed, the pain deepening with each contraction as her body adjusted, stretching and preparing for the arrival of their son. The nurse checked in periodically, taking notes, adjusting her position, and checking her dilation with gentle reassurance, but progress was slow. The contractions were more frequent now, each one a sharp, relentless pressure that seemed to radiate from deep within her, pulling her to the very edge of her endurance.
Harry never left her side, his hand a steady anchor as he held hers, his voice low and soothing, guiding her through each breath. âI love you,â he whispered, his forehead resting against hers as they breathed together. âJust a bit longer, yeah? You got it.â
At one point, the pain became so overwhelming that she couldnât bear to sit still. Harry helped her stand, wrapping his arms around her as she leaned into him, her face pressed against his chest. Her arms draped over his shoulders, clinging to him as she rocked back and forth, swaying through each contraction, finding relief in the gentle rhythm. He whispered words of encouragement, his hands rubbing her back as she trembled against him, each wave of pain stealing her breath and leaving her gasping.
âThatâs it, baby,â he murmured, his voice a steady hum that she latched onto, focusing on the warmth of his words as the pain pulsed through her. âJust lean on me. Iâve got you.â
She clung to him, her fingers digging into his shoulders as the pain reached a peak, her knees weakening under the weight of it. But Harry held her up, his arms strong and steady, supporting her fully as she swayed, letting the movement carry her through each contraction. She pressed her forehead into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart beneath her cheek, grounding her, keeping her anchored in the storm of pain.
When the nurse checked again, the news was dishearteningâonly a few more centimeters dilated. YN felt exhaustion beginning to creep in, the hours of labor sapping her strength, but Harry was there, brushing damp strands of hair from her face, whispering soft reassurances as she closed her eyes, her head resting against his shoulder.
As the hours ticked by, the contractions grew sharper, more intense, each one like a wave crashing against her, forcing her to draw deeper into herself just to withstand the pain. Harry eased her back onto the bed, pulling a mask toward her face, releasing a gas that would help the pain. Her mind blurred under the relentless rhythm of labor. Yet, every time she opened her eyes, he was thereâhis gaze steady, his hand in hers, his words like an anchor.
She held the mask to her face with her other hand, breathing it in deeply. As backward as it sounded, even laboring and pushing out a baby, the thought of a seven inch needle being put into her spine scared her even more. The thought of an epidural was tempting, being numbed from the waist downâbut it made her stomach churn with anxiety, too. She had enough of that already, so she stuck to the gas.
YN lifted the gas from her nose, staring at Harry through half lidded eyes. âCanât wait to have sex with you in six weeks.â She mumbled, her voice hazy.
Harry eased the mask back onto her, his cheeks growing red from her clouded words. He let out a breathy laugh, âOkay, one step at a time, hm?â
At last, as dawn began to break outside, the sunlight bleak, barely there. The nurseâs expression shifted as she checked YNâs progress. She smiled, looking up with gentle relief. âWeâre almost there,â she said softly. âJust a little bit longer.â
Harryâs face lit up, his eyes shining as he looked down at YN, his voice soft and full of pride. He pressed a kiss to her sweaty forehead, brushing strands of her hair back. âHear that? Final stretch, baby.â
YN nodded, too exhausted to respond, but the warmth in his eyes gave her the strength to keep going. With every ounce of willpower she had left, she faced the final contractions, the pain almost blinding but her determination carrying her through, and Harryâs voice guiding her every step of the way.
Once she was ten centimeters, a team rushed in. Two nurses and the OB. Her legs were placed into stirrups, her gown bunched up over her tummy.
It was the longest, most intense thirteen hours of her life, but as she felt the final waves of pain, the medical staff guided her through the last moments, she clung to Harry, his hand a lifeline, his presence a comfort that wrapped around her like a shield. And with one last surge, a cry filled the room, and she knew it was all worth it.
âOh.â She whimpered, her own cry emitting from her as her son was placed onto her bare chest for the first time. A nurse wiped him down as he wriggled against YN, Harry leaning down by her shoulder, staring in awe.
That was his boy, his son. A piece of him and the love of his life brought forth into the world. He wouldnât be able to explain the feeling he felt as he flickered his gaze between his wifeâs and Atlasâs.
Sparse stands of brown locks sat atop his head, a color matching his fathers. He gently placed his hand atop it, his thumb rubbing against his forehead as the little boy continued to cry.
His eyes resembled his mothers, as did his nose. But everything else? That was all Harry. He cooed at him, whispering soft nothings to to his baby boy before the nurse approached him with medical scissors. âWould you like to cut the cord, dad?â
Dad.
Butterflies surged through his tummy.
He drew a deep breath, looking at YN for silent encouragement, to which she only smiled at him. Her husband, the father of her son.
He gently grabbed the scissors from the nurse, hesitantly approaching where he was told to cut. He looked at his Atlas who seemed to calm down a bit, slowly coming to terms with being brought out into the world. He steadied himself, and then with a delicate snip, he cut the cord.
As he handed them back to the nurse, he let out a breath he didnât know he was holding, the enormity of the moment settling over him. He looked down at the two he loved most in the world, lightly grasping onto his little feet and silently counting his tiny toes.
âSit.â YN softly ordered, holding the boy against her chest with one hand and patting the small spot beside her with the other.
He nodded slowly, easing himself down into the spot after lowering the right side bar so heâd fit. He leaned against YN, his feet still upon the floor.
The baby was swaddled into a pale blue blanket before she handed him over to Harry, his heart melting instantly. He cradled him against his chest, tucking his head down to place delicate kisses on his forehead, his cheeks, the tip of his nose. âI love you so much.â He whispered, hesitantly ripping his gaze away from his son onto his wife.
His lip quivered as he placed a kiss against her sweaty hair, âThank you so much.â His voice was delicate, a murmur. âI owe you everything.â
This was all he needed. His heart swelled with a love so profound, it felt almost overwhelming, as if the sheer depth of it might consume him. It was a love that stretched beyond anything heâd known, powerful enough to break him apart and put him back together all at once. But he embraced it, letting it fill every part of him, savoring each precious drop. For the first time in as long as he could remember, he felt exactly where he was meant to be.
This was home.
#dadrry#harry styles#harry edward styles#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles imagine#harry styles one shot#harry styles writing#harry styles x reader#harry styles concept#harry styles au#harry styles fluff#harry styles pregnant#harry styles drabble#harry styles dad#harry styles request#husbandrry#harry styles fanfic
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i have many thoughts on how Mouthwashing handles the themes of abuse and the symbolism around it especially as a survivor ... im not gnna hold back so -
first of all i think since its clear the point Jimmy is dismissive of AnyaÂŽs personhood and his perception is warped towards what he does as a Captain rather than what he does as a man, it makes sense she doesnt get her own labyrinth or such , i cant argue around that because its realistic heÂŽs so male focused he cant even bother to truly think about what he did to her, i would love it if Wrong Organ decides to do a side story vignette of her own perspective and view in the future if the game proves its successful enough for side content like that.
Assault is something usually not handled with subtlety in games, i think what struck me the most was how real the dialogue of her coping and suicidal ideations and how Curly responded to it felt , the dancing around the subject, the deflection, the "whats next" of the ever impending consequence of pregnancy, how Anya pleads for help from the person she trusts but nonetheless a man unequipped and too emotionally attached to the abuser to be able to confront him, its so real, CurlyÂŽs lack of initiative is something Jimmy fully takes advantage of the moment things dont go his way, he turns everyone against him even as a helpless body on a bed because he needed to be in control of the situation, thats what abusers do.
A more sensationalistic game would have easily played AnyaÂŽs helplessness and assault for shock for sure, because it would be easy, she is the archetypical victim trope, shes modeled in Wendy Torrance likeness from The Shining, shes meek and unsure of herself and Jimmy shoots her down from the very beginning to make her feel unqualified and cornered, but the furthest the games goes is making Jimmy terror towards the pregnancy and the baby as a boogeyman that crawls and tramples over him. No sights of bleeding legs or her crying or screaming and much less present objectification of her body (which is something that i always think the horror genre has such a struggle not grabbing onto, sexuality is mostly always played up in assault stories especially if the victim is an adult woman), she remains a fully clothed figure and maintains the agency to her own demise, away from Jimmy and beside Curly, which is tragic and obviously still a symptom of horrorÂŽs proclivity to back female characters into corners of self inflicted punishment, but the alternative would have been that sooner or later, Jimmy would have killed her.
Its clear to me that the game used CurlyÂŽs state as a way to put a barrier between Jimmy and Anya, we dont objectify Anya, but we objectify Curly, Anya doesnt just feel pained and unable to handle CurlyÂŽs medication because shes in a sensitive state, her comments about his noises and such draws a line between her trauma and her perception of things as Her fault, she cant handle hearing his struggles and cries trying to swallow a pill because it reminds her of her own helplessness, so she leaves the task to Jimmy, someone who has no qualms in forcing someone down, the emphasis of every treatment as a repetitive process and the sound design is all very poignant and for me, a great way to handle assault as a metaphor, Curly did not consent to being in this position, it is very much still JimmyÂŽs fault and the fact that Jimmy is basically keeping him alive against his will even to the last moment of the game says everything, Jimmy doesnt love Curly the same way he doesnt love Anya.
The horses are not lost on me, i think horses as animals are often seen as "viril" symbols, strong and often volatile, they can be often hard to mount but when one does the rider and animal are seen as this one all powerful entity, like centaurs, which also carry symbolism of assaulters mind you, so while maybe not intentional on the devÂŽs part i think it still points to the Horse as a symbol still important in the game, the only spoken audio lines of dialog come from the Pony Express mascot Polle itself, and they are the first to actually confront JimmyÂŽs self centered line of thought and over-focusing on Curly, if the Tulpar is akin to a beast of a burden then Jimmy beat the dead horse way long ago.
All in this to say that Mouthwashing was a really good experience and i really hope the dev team is interested on expanding a bit more on it because i trust their vision.
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down bad
bucky barnes x reader
word count: 3.9k
author's note: i couldn't stop thinking about bucky being able to use his metal hand as a vibrator and therefore this was born.
warnings/tags: SMUT, oral (female receiving), fingering, bucky being used as a human vibrator, multiple orgasms, language, consumption of alcohol, reader is afab, no use of y/n, slightly possessive bucky, 18+ only
âYouâve got to be fucking joking,â Natasha mutters through a mouth full of popcorn. âTyler from the statistics department? Are we talking about the same Tyler from statistics?â
âNat, for the fourth time, yes. Tyler from statistics. The only Tyler from statistics that I know.â You reach for the bottle of Moscato that the two of you are sharing, pouring yourself some more wine.
âNuh-uh,â Natasha shakes her head. âI don't believe you. There's no way he could be that bad.â She takes a sip from her own glass of wine. âHe's too gorgeous,â she shrugs, turning to face you on the couch. The romantic comedy you had picked out for your bi-monthly movie night plays forgotten in the background.
âTrust me,â you sigh. âI was just as shocked as you are. But I swear on my life, he stuck his tongue in my ear. In my fucking ear, but wouldn't go down on me.â You can tell by the look on her face that Nat is trying her hardest not to laugh.
âHe said his dick game is âtoo good to need to eat a girl outâ.â You shake your head, cringing at the memory. âWhich is also what he said when I merely suggested that he use my vibrator on me instead. He looked like I had kicked his dog.â
âWell?â she asks, a pained expression across her features. âWas it? Too good?â
âI didn't stay to find out,â you admit. âI faked a work emergency and dipped.â A laugh breaks through her pursed lips.
âI'm sorryââ she says, although her face says otherwise. âI shouldn't laugh. You just have the worst luck with men. Isn't that the third failed hook-up in what? Six months?â
âDon't fucking remind me,â you groan, throwing your head back on the couch and staring up at the living room ceiling. âI think I've lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to me by another person again.â
Nat opens her mouth to speak, but quickly closes it when you both notice voices approaching from the hallway.
Sam and Bucky enter the room a moment later, both dressed uncharacteristically nice. You suddenly feel the desire to conceal yourself with the fleece throw blanket laying across your lap. You and Nat usually plan your movie nights for when the tower is relatively empty, so you're just wearing a pair of old sweatpants and a tank top. Bare-faced and hair unstyled, the fact that Bucky's gaze is locked on you as the two of them approach where you and Nat are lounging doesn't help. He's not smiling - but there's a look on his face that you don't quite understand. The ghost of a smirk on his lips and a twinkle of amusement in his eyes.
It's a look that makes you nervous - in addition to already feeling flutters in the pit of your stomach at how fucking good he looks.
âHey, boys,â Nat greets them cheerily. âWhere are the two of you going so dolled up?â
âThere's a new nightclub in Brooklyn that a group of SHIELD trainees are going to tonight,â Sam answers. âThey invited us and we've got nothing better to do. Figured we'd go check it out, get a few drinks. You ladies want to tag along? Or are you too busy watching - what is this, 10 Things I Hate About You?â He gestures towards the screen.
âCouldn't hurt to get out of the house for a while tonight, right?â Nat looks at you for confirmation, a knowing gleam in her eyes. âWho knows, you might even meet someone,â she adds, nudging you with her elbow.
Bucky lets out a sound halfway between a laugh and a cough, which he tries to play off as the latter. You narrow your eyes at him before glancing back to Natasha.
âFor sure,â you agree, trying to ignore Bucky's bizarre behavior. âCouldn't hurt. You guys go on, we'll get ready and head there soon. Text us the name of the club?â You direct the last part to Sam in particular.
âYou got it,â Sam says as he pulls his cell phone from his coat pocket. He turns to leave when both your and Natâs phones chime with the club information. âLet's go man, our Uber's here,â he directs at Bucky.
âSee you both soon,â he says before turning to follow Sam, though his gaze is still only on one of you.
âI'm gonna go throw on some make-up, curl my hair, and hope I can find something somewhat cute toââ Nat starts as soon as Bucky and Sam have turned back down the hallway.
âWas he acting kind of odd?â you interrupt her in a hushed tone.
âBarnes? Always. I've stopped reading into it too much.â
âSome spy you are,â you mumble. âMeet me back here when you're ready.â
â â â â â
One hour later, you're applying some last minute mascara and lip gloss in the backseat of an Uber on your way to downtown Brooklyn. Natasha sits beside you, ranting about an assignment that Fury has tasked her with and you swear you're trying your hardest to absorb everything she's saying - but your mind keeps going back to the way Bucky was looking at you just an hour ago.
What was with that little smirk? That curious glimmer in his eyes? Had he overheard your conversation with Nat? Had he developed the ability to read minds and knew you were thinking about how fucking hot he looked? Or was that thought simply written all over your face?
You knew you couldn't deny it. Bucky does look exceptionally attractive in his black suit, with his perfectly tousled hair - but you had found him to be ridiculously good looking since you'd first met him. Even in casual, everyday clothes, even in gym shorts and drenched in sweat, even covered in blood after particularly brutal missâ
âYou girls have a great evening,â your Uber driver interrupts your train of thought as he comes to a stop in front of your destination.
You really need to get fucking laid. You definitely shouldn't be having these kinds of thoughts about Bucky. He's your coworker, your teammate, your training partner on many occasions, your friendâŠ
Natasha thanks him and hands him a generous cash tip before climbing out of the car right after you.
âThanks,â you tell her. âI'll buy our drinks.â
âDon't worry about me,â she tells you with a sly grin as you both flash the bouncer your IDs and enter the club. Despite the night still being relatively young, it's already bustling inside.
âYou just focus on meeting people, mingling, maybe hitting it off with a super hot guy and taking him back to your place for some mind-blowingââ
âSuper hot guy? Are you talking about me?â Samâs voice interrupts Nat. You both turn around to see him and Bucky walking towards you, drinks in hand.
There's a roguish smile on Bucky's face as his eyes skim up and down your figure.
âYou both look wonderful,â he compliments, but once again, his stare is focused only on you. If Natasha notices, she says nothing.
To be fair, you were impressed with how well you managed to put yourself together with such little notice. You found a black, backless mini dress crammed in the back of your closet that you had forgotten all about after snagging it on clearance forever ago. The form-fitting material hugs you in all the right ways, and paired with your favorite pair of strappy black heels, you're feeling infinitely more confident than you were when Bucky saw you just an hour prior.
âThanks!â You chirp quickly, averting your gaze from him to take in your surroundings. To your left, the dance floor is lively, though not too overcrowded for your liking. To your right, there's a bar surrounded by tables filled with groups of people conversing - you vaguely recognize a couple of SHIELD agents huddled around one. The entire room is illuminated by the faint blue-green glow of the mood lighting, and the bass of the music vibrates through the floorboards.
Sam and Bucky excuse themselves to go say hey to the group of agents that had invited them, while Nat all but drags you over to the bar. You order a double shot of whiskey and throw it back as quickly as you can.
âI see what you mean now,â Nat whispers to you after downing her shot of tequila. âAbout Barnes,â she clarifies. âHe's been eye-fucking you since we walked through the door.â
If you hadn't already swallowed your liquor, you would have spewed it all over her.
âHe has not been eye-fucking me, Nat,â you say in an almost scolding tone.
âI'm just saying,â she throws her hands up. âThereâs no way he could possibly be any worse than the last few guys you've gone for. I think you should go for it,â she shrugs.
âIt's not that I don't think he'd be good,â you say defensively, forcing yourself to look away from where he and Sam are socializing with the small group of SHIELD agents a few tables away. âI just don't want things to be weird afterwards. We work together nearly every day, and we have a bunch of mutual friendsââ
âSuit yourself,â she cuts you off in a tone of voice that very much says if you say so. âNow, are you going to dance with me or not?â She adds as she begins tugging you towards the ever-busying dance floor.
You spend the next half hour dancing with Nat before she's swept away by some black-haired doctor looking type. Good for her, you think as you watch them converse intimately at a small booth on the other side of the room.
Thanks to the liquid courage that runs through your veins, you're okay with the fact that Bucky stands just twenty feet away from you, watching you as you dance among the thick crowd of people.
You've made eye contact with him a few times now - on accident or on purpose, you're not sure at this point. But each time, your eyes lingers on his for a moment longer than the last.
You're mentally daring him to come here, to make a move, to do something other than stand to the sidelines of whatever conversation Sam and the others are engaged in.
The slightest bit of pressure on your waist snaps you back to the now congested dance floor.
You look up to find that the hand on your waist belongs to a tall man with shoulder length, sandy blonde hair. He's conventionally attractive enough, though not who you were hoping would come grab you on the dance floor.
âI'm Shawn,â he introduces himself, loudly enough for you to hear him over the roaring music. You tell him your name, pushing aside the pang of disappointment in your chest.
âDo you want to go somewhere a bit quieter to talk, maybe? Let me buy you a drinââ
âThere you are! I've been looking everywhere for you,â a voice booms from behind you.
Shawn immediately retracts his hand from your waist, backing up a few inches as Bucky comes into view beside you.
âMust not have been looking too hard, I've been right here this whole time,â you jab back with a smug smile.
âSorry, I didn't mean toââ Shawn says as he starts to back away.
âNo worries, bud,â Bucky says in an overly friendly voice as he moves to stand in front of you, blocking you from Shawn's view entirely.
âTook you long enough,â you tell Bucky once the man is out of ear shot, once again beginning to sway to the music. âGet bored of listening to Sam hype himself up to the newbies?â
He takes a step closer, angling himself behind you. The crowd of people surrounding you edges you closer to him - your bare back brushing against the cool satin fabric of his suit.
âMaybe,â his chest vibrates against your skin when he speaks. He places his hands on either side of your hips - eliciting goosebumps across your skin in a way that no one else has in a long, long time.
âOr maybe I just wanted to save you from wasting your time on another guy who can't make you come.â
Your movements come to an abrupt pause as his words hit you.
He had fucking overheard your conversation with Natasha.
At a loss for words, you turn to face him. There's a shit-eating grin spread across his face. He thinks this is hilarious and it's obvious.
âHasn't anyone ever told you it's rude to eavesdrop?â
âIs it really eavesdropping if I have superhuman hearing?â He takes a step closer to you, closing what little distance was separating you. The peaks of your breasts brush against his chest.
âSo what happens now that you've saved me from another unsatisfactory hook-up?â You challenge, staring up at him in the neon blue lighting.
You can smell hints of cedarwood and sage from his cologne in your close proximity. It's so delicious that it's dizzying.
âLet me take you somewhere more private than this dance floor and I'll show you.â
âYou seem to have a lot of confidence in your ability to give me a better experience,â you say, leaning forward so that your face is just inches from his.
He responds by placing his flesh hand on the small of your back and pulling you flush against him. The tips of his fingers continue to dance down the skin of your exposed spine. His vibranium hand comes to cradle your jaw, his metal thumb tracing your bottom lip.
His mouth forms a dark smirk - and then you feel it. It starts soft and subtle and then gradually increases in intensity.
His fucking thumb is vibrating against your lip.
If you hadn't been standing in the middle of a crowded dance floor at a nightclub in downtown Brooklyn, you would have taken that thumb into your mouth and sucked on it right then and there.
âWhat do you say?â he asks, now tugging on your bottom lip with the pulsing digit. âAre you going to let me take you to the first empty room I can find in this place and make you come?â
âI say show me the way.â
He removes his hand from your face and turns you in the direction of the back of the club. He guides you through the throng of dancers, keeping his hands placed firmly on either side of your waist from behind. His vibranium fingers still hum softly, reminding you of what he says is to come.
Directly past the dance floor, there's a hallway blocked off by a rope with a sign that reads employees only. Taking a quick look around, you see that all of the patrons surrounding you and Bucky are paying you no mind. Bucky unhooks the flimsy rope and the two of you slip down the hallway.
He jiggles the handles of several doors that all turn out to be locked. Not wanting to waste any time or draw any attention to yourselves with picking locks, you continue down the dark corridor until the heavy music from the heart of the club fades to a muted roar.
The very last door opens without a hitch.
Thanks to the pale orange glow of a table lamp on a desk in the corner of the room, you can see that you're in a makeshift office/supply room - a couple of filing cabinets, cleaning supplies, extra glassware, and some sound equipment strewn haphazardly throughout the limited space.
Bucky clicks the lock into place as soon as he closes the door behind him.
You're going to turn around him and tell him that he doesn't have to do this - that as badly as you want this, you don't want to ruin your friendship, that as badly as you want him, he doesn't have anything to prove to you - but his lips are already on yours as soon as you start to open your mouth.
He doesn't take his lips off of yours as he guides you backwards to the rickety wooden desk. The backs of your thighs hit the table and Bucky effortlessly lifts you to sit on the edge, giving him the perfect angle to deepen the kiss - with his tongue exploring your mouth, you're unable to stop yourself from groaning into the kiss.
You fist your fingers into his hair, tugging just hard enough so that he hisses into your mouth. His own hands trail from the sides of your stomach and down your thighs, until he reaches the tail of your dress. You instinctively part your legs for him, as much as the restrictive fabric will allow, and his vibranium hand shoots between your thighs.
He teases you, dragging his index finger along the cloth of your panties that you know you're close to soaking through already. Just as the tip of his finger pauses above your clit, his finger begins emitting the softest vibration.
You break the kiss, breathless as you throw your head back at the sensation. Bucky takes it as an opportunity to attach his lips to the pulse point of your throat, nipping your flesh with his teeth followed by a wet kiss.
He continues with the ministrations through your panties until you're rutting against his hand, needing more. He tugs your underwear to the side and increases the intensity of the vibration before nudging his middle finger past your entrance.
You have to hold onto his shoulders to steady yourself - despite the fact that you're sitting, your body feels like jelly beneath his touch. He adds in his index finger with ease before cupping your pussy in his palm - the heel of his hand pulsating against your clit.
âFuck, Bucky,â you cry against his mouth.
âYou're so fucking wet for me, you know that?â He coos, thrusting both of his fingers against the spongy-flesh of your walls.
You can feel the vibrations of his hand all the way from your belly to your toes.
You begin grinding your hips to meet the movement of his fingers, fucking yourself against his hand. There's a familiar knot forming in your lower belly as he curls his fingers inside you -
âI want you to think about me and how good I'm making you feel every time you think about letting some fuckinâ nobody touch you,â he says in a low voice next to your ear. âI want you to think about riding my fingers until you come all over my hand.â
His words send you over the edge and you do exactly that - your pussy clenching around his fingers as you ride them through your orgasm. While you're still coming down from the high of your climax, Bucky pulls his metal fingers out of you and brings them to your lips, inserting his index finger in your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the slick metal as he brings the vibrations to a halt and then slowly pulls the finger from your mouth.
He picks you up off the edge of the desk and plants you back on the ground - your legs still shaking from how hard you had come.
âTurn around and lean over the desk,â he instructs you, soft but authoritative.
You don't know if it's because of the way he's looking at you or because of how good he's already made you feel, but in that moment, you would've done anything he asked of you.
You bend over the desk, supporting yourself by leaning on your forearms. You peak back over your shoulder to look at Bucky - he hikes your dress up, baring your ass to him.
He lets out an audible groan before he has even pulled your panties down to your ankles.
He kneels on the ground behind you, his face inches away from your cunt. He uses both his flesh and metal hands to spread you open for him, and then his tongue is licking up your center from behind.
God, you hope no one tries to come into this room. The door may be locked but the sounds that someone would hear if they even walked up to the doorâŠ
Bucky knows just how to make you writhe above him. He's soft when he's kissing up your folds and unsparing when he's sucking your clit between his lips. His hands hold your ass in a firm grasp that teeters between pleasure and pain.
You grind back against his face and he moans so deeply that you feel the vibration of it up your core. Your eyes roll back into your head as you clutch the sides of the desk to better support yourself.
His enthusiasm alone has you spiraling towards a second climax embarrassingly fast.
âYou know,â he murmurs against your sensitive pussy. âWhen I overheard you say that someone had refused to go down on you, I couldn't believe it. What a fuckin idiot to pass this up.â He gives your ass cheek a firm slap with his flesh hand before diving his face between your legs once more.
It's just seconds before you feel the telltale pressure growing in your lower belly once more. You go limp against the table, Bucky placing his hands on the backs of your thighs to help keep you upright as you ride out your orgasm on his face.
You continue to lay against the desk as you regain control of your breathing. Bucky stands up, tugging your panties up your legs and back around your waist as he does. He then shimmies your dress back down into place so that you're once again looking club-appropriate.
When you turn around to face him, he's wiping your slick from his lower face on the sleeve of his suit, once again displaying a shit-eating grin.
âWhat was it you said?â He asks in mocking contemplation. âYou had lost all hope of ever having an orgasm given to you by another person again?â
âI think you've made your point. You're fantastic at eating pussy and you're a walking human-sex toy.â You roll your eyes at him and start to walk towards the door, but he grabs your wrist in his metal hand, stopping you.
He pulls you back to him and brings his flesh hand to cradle your jawline. He stares at you in a heavy, uncertain silence for a split second before bringing his lips to yours.
It's a kiss that's a bit more hesitant, and a lot less rushed than the one before. You taste yourself all over him, warm and salty. He takes his time getting lost in your mouth - you savor every second and it still comes to and end all too once.
âCouldn't help myself,â he smiles softly when he pulls away. âJust had to kiss you one last time.â
You can't help the way your heart skips a beat when he says the word last.
You clear your throat. âWe should probably go find Sam and Natasha,â you say, giving him a small smile in return. âI'm sure they're both wondering where the hell we are.â
You spend the rest of the evening attempting to mingle with friends, but there's one thought that torments you for the remaining duration of the night - just a few hours ago, you doubted that you'd ever have a satisfactory hook-up ever again.
Now, you had to wonder if anyone else could ever make you feel as good as Bucky did.
âĄâĄâĄâĄâĄ
i left this kind of open-ended soooo leave it to your own interpretation what happens next for them đ€
as always comments/reblogs are infinitely appreciated. thanks for reading!
my masterlist
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky x reader#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes oneshot#bucky barnes one-shot#bucky x you#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes fic#my writing#flowersforbucky
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Heyyyyyy Iâd really like to talk more about the ball, whoâs with me.
Because for all its glitter, the ball is dark. No, seriously, itâs dark. Itâs eerie, itâs disturbing, and the narrative doesnât shy away from showing us just how much.Â
As in a classic fairytale, mortals are being spirited away into another realm to dance through the night. Here, however, we see exactly who is orchestrating the dance, and why.
And we empathize with him, but watching Aziraphale has never been so painful or so unsettling.
Nina arrives distraught and is immediately hit with the realization that she doesnât feel distraught, even though she knows she should be feeling it. She confronts Aziraphale and he just tells her: oh yes! :) no long faces tonight! And she is disturbed throughout the ball, thinks she is losing her mind, questions and fights the enchantment⊠but from time to time, the enchantment still takes hold.
And justâ
Aziraphale. Aziraphale, you do know that manipulating people is wrong, donât you? You⊠do know that? And yes, of course, neither Crowleyâs nor Aziraphaleâs approach to morality is human. They are eldritch, they are otherworldly. It was Crowley who changed the paintball guns into real guns in S1, though of course, the humans still had choice in using them.
But the ball is still different.
Weâve never seen Aziraphale do anything quite so disturbing before, or go so obviously deep into his own delusion. There are moments during these scenes when even Crowley, permanently frustrated, is very nearly disturbed. (âAngel! What are you doing?â or âMaking it rain is one thing, but a BALL?â)
I fully think that by that point in the story, Aziraphale is not all right. He is in an anxiety spiral, denying reality fiercely, obstinately, disastrously, not listening to any of Crowleyâs hissed warnings. Yes, yes, he is giddy, he is in love. Itâs so very important for him that everything go RIGHT this night, the night he gets to dance with Crowley. Is he even aware of everything he is conjuring up, of the enchantment he has woven? The humans who step through the doors of the bookshop change: their clothing, their mood, their speech patterns⊠By this point, is Aziraphale doing this consciously at all? Or is reality conforming to his expectations, forcing everyone into a replica of the nineteenth century while Aziraphale himself, distracted and smitten, works himself up to inviting Crowley to dance?
In the first few episodes, as fear and danger grow, as Aziraphale is faced with the danger specifically to Crowley (I donât see why he would risk his existence for you, Shax tells him in the car), Aziraphale only denies reality all the more fiercely, only holds on to his plans tighter, only puts more force into them and exerts more control (really, rather like the archangels with their Great Plan).
And the ball, beautiful and otherworldly and eerie as it is, is also a dire warning.Â
In the morning, it will be Crowley, not Aziraphale, who will get told off for manipulating Nina and Maggie. Aziraphale wonât reflect on this. He wonât be forced to reflect, and Metatron will manipulate him in turn.
There is a plan to follow. The show must go on.
GOD the ball is so dark.
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Pay to Play
The last thing I remember is a van pulling up to the sidewalk and two men grabbing me. I vaguely recall a syringe going into my arm and the pain of an injection but thatâs all that I can remember of when I wake up. Iâm in a dark room, tied to a chair, and gagged. There are several other girls in the room as well, all tied and gagged just like I am. The fear is palpable as we look between ourselves. Some are crying and most of us are squirming and struggling to no avail.
Suddenly, the door to the room weâre in swings open and several men walk in. No one says a word as the men go towards the girl closest to the door and pick her up, chair included. They leave with her, just as suddenly as they arrived, leaving the rest of us in stunned silence.
I feel tears well up in my eyes, the fear and confusion becoming too much for me to process. One of the girls screams behind her gag and another one joins her. A few more join in but no one beyond the door seems to notice and eventually, we all quiet again, each of us trying to cope in our own ways.
An unknown amount of time passes and suddenly the doors slam open again. The men return but there is no sign of the first girl. They head towards the second girl and grab her the same way, ignoring her wails from behind the gag and her desperate struggling against her bonds. They leave with her, just like before.
It becomes a pattern. The men come and take the next girl in line every so often and none of us know what to expect or how to stop it. Soon, Iâm up next. Itâs been so long since I woke up that Iâve stopped crying already. My arms are sore from being tied up and my legs are numb from sitting.
The doors slam open again and Iâm carried away. Iâm brought to a room surrounded by lights, the sudden brightness making me squint and blink. When my vision focuses again, I realize the men are gone and Iâm alone. Iâm surrounded by cameras, and thereâs a large screen in front of me playing a live feed of the room, and I see myself. My hair is tangled, my eyes are red from crying, and I look terrified. Whatâs next to the footage is what makes my blood run cold. Itâs a chat box, and I can see the comments coming in. Comments about how I look, about how excited viewers are for the âshow,â and how much they think Iâm worth. I realize in that moment that Iâm being livestreamed and about to be sold off to the highest bidder.
A door opens and a man walks in. Heâs wearing a mask that covers most of his face and he has on a microphone that I can only assume letâs him talk to the streamâs viewers.
âWelcome! Our next lovely girl is here with us now. You all know the rules, if you win the auction, you must transfer funds immediately and she will be prepared for shipment or pick-up, depending on your preference. Letâs begin.â
He walks toward me, and I whimper behind the gag, terrified of whatâs to come. He pulls out a pair of scissors, and swiftly cuts away at my clothes, pulling them off my naked body and Iâm crying now. I can see myself on the screen, my sobs making my body shake as I try my best to curl into myself.
The comments start to flood into the chat box now, people discussing my body, my tits, my pussy. I see bids start to come in too, and part of me is shocked to see the amount of money these people are throwing out.
The man comes back into my view and heâs holding a vibrator in his hand. I wail behind the gag, shaking my head and struggling uselessly in my bonds. He isnât deterred and I watch as he clicks it on. Iâm straining to close my legs but the ropes are too tight and chair too unyielding. He brings the vibrator between my legs and I wail when I feel it touch my clit. He doesnât give me time to adjust, he presses the vibrating head directly onto my clit and holds it there, letting the vibrations batter me.
I scream behind the gag as I feel the sensation overwhelm me. At first, the fear dampened any pleasure but as the seconds dragged on and the vibrator stayed pressed up against my most delicate area, I could feel my body reacting. Waves of stimulation crash over me and I can feel the first inklings of an orgasm starting to build. The man keeps the horrible vibrator on my pulsing clit and my tears are now in response to the unbearable pleasure that I never wanted, and certainly not like this.
The vibrator pushes my body closer and closer to a wrecking orgasm, and I canât do anything other than feel it happen. I arch my back and squirm as much as I can when the incomprehensible pleasure crescendos and I shatter. I can feel my pussy clenching around nothing and gushing out my release, my clit pulsing in time to my heartbeat, and my mind fading to a haze of pleasure and pain as the vibrator continues to ravage me.
âOrgasm in one minute and 37 seconds, and sheâs a squirter,â the man announces matter-of-factly. âLetâs see how hard we can push her.â
I look up from tear-blurred eyes, seeing the comments flood in on the chat box on screen. Iâve always been sensitive post-orgasm and the fact that the man hasnât pulled away the vibrator is pushing me into a painful overstimulation thatâs making my stomach clench in fear. He reaches down with his free hand and maneuvering around the vibrator to pull back the soft skin that normally surrounds my clit, protecting it. My eyes widen and I let out a guttural scream behind the gag as the overwhelming, horrible vibrator now decimates my clit with nothing to soften the nerve-fraying stimulation.
I feel my eyes roll up into my head and my body is thrown into a second orgasm with no preparation. Just pure, unstoppable pleasure that burns every single nerve in my body. I canât even breathe or scream or cry as my entire being is locked in a soul-shattering explosion that seems to go on forever.
I have no idea how much time passes or how many orgasms that terrible pleasure is able to tear from my body before the vibrator finally moves away. Iâm shaking, crying, gasping for air and my clit is burning and twitching from the continued stimulation.
When I finally gather myself enough to open my eyes and see the on-screen chat box, I feel my heart stutter when I read some of the things people are saying.
âFuck, sheâs hot like that, I wonder if sheâd survive a day strapped to a fucking machine.â
âI want to string her up and see how good of a whipping she could handle before she begs.â
âHer little clitty looks perfect for a piercing, and I could run electricity through it and really make her scream and cum.â
That last one makes me whimper and I pull my attention away from the screen, hoping that this nightmare is almost over.
âNow for a change of pace,â the man says from across the room. My eyes dart over to him and see that the men whoâd brought me here are back again, rolling in a different chair, this one built like a gynecologistâs exam table with stirrups. I shake slightly in fear as they approach me and untie me before manhandling me into the exam chair. Iâm too weak to even resist as they strap my body down, my feet going into the stirrups and my legs, arms, and body immobilized with straps.
The men leave and I look up at the livestream of myself, seeing how fear has made my eyes wide with gruesome anticipation. I can see clearly in the video, my clit looking so red and angry while my pussy still drips from the torment of pleasure theyâd subjected me to moments before. I watch as the masked man approaches me, wheeling over a tray containing more horrible toys and devices.
He pulls a metal speculum off the tray and comes to stand before me. Iâm shaking with terror, desperately trying to beg from behind the gag. Heâs uncaring as he slides the device against my pussy, pushing the cold, hard metal inside of me. My back arches as my pussy fills and I whine, wishing that I didnât find this violation pleasurable.
The man starts to crank the handle of the device, the motion forcing the speculum to open me up. I canât help but moan, feeling an unbearable fullness start to build as the device pushes my pussy wide open. Eventually, he stops and takes a step back.
I watch through the livestream as he grabs a long, thin wand from the tray and comes back. I can feel my pussy pulsing around the speculum holding me open, and I know thereâs nothing I can do to prevent whatever deranged thing he plans on doing next.
âLetâs see how she reacts to some internal stimulation.â
Without any other warning, the man slides the thin wand into me and presses a button that makes it start emitting a low pulsing vibration. He brushes against the walls of my pussy and I shake at the onslaught of pleasure. The speculum gives him easy, perfect access and the thin wand means he has every bit of precision at his disposal as he targets my most vulnerable places.
I choke on a gasp when he finds my g-spot and presses into it with heart-stopping accuracy. I feel my toes curl and my eyes roll to the back of my head as painful, unbearable pleasure overwhelms me. He turns up the wand to an unimaginable intensity and drives it into the tenderness of my pussy. I cum immediately. My pussy gushes and my juices flood out of me as the pleasure ravages my body with no mercy.
Just like with my clit, the man doesnât let up. Iâm locked in this impossible pleasure and overstimulation as my vision goes white and my body feels ripped to shreds by every orgasm that pours out of me.
When he finally stops, I donât even feel human anymore. My mind is empty, there is absolutely nothing left other than the pure pleasure that laid waste to my entire being. Iâm vaguely aware of the man announcing final call for bids but Iâm too incoherent to really register what is going on around me. Suddenly, I feel a prick on my arm and slowly turn my head to watch a syringe pull out of my arm. My head spins and I feel sleep encroaching on my mind.
Just before my darkness overwhelms my vision and I sink into unconsciousness, I catch a glance of the screen and see how much money was spent on me. Thereâs a muted sense of astonishment. Itâs more money than I could even fathom, more than I could make in a lifetime. And someone just spent it on me, in exchange for my complete ownership.
#nsft concept#overstim kink#dark fantasy#cl1t torture#mind break#rap3 fantasy#kidnap fantasy#overstim nsft#rough kink#medfet#cl!t torture
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Girlfriend experience (Twice Tzuyu)
âI need your help.âÂ
Youâre typing up your next application letter when youâre suddenly interrupted by Tzuyuâs familiar voice. âSure, whatâs up?â
Thereâs no way youâre turning down a request from Tzuyu.Â
She pauses for a moment, contemplating her next words carefully, knowing regardless of the outcome, everything will never be the same.Â
Then, she speaks.
âCan you be my boyfriend for a day?â
âââââ
You donât take it seriously. For one, you know damn well you donât deserve to breathe the same air as Chou Tzuyu, let alone earn the coveted title of âboyfriend.â Itâs already a privilege to share rooms with her in college, how much more to be her personal tutor. Sure, she loves to mess around with you every now and then, but even by her standards, this is one joke too out there to make.
âOkay Tzu, very funny, but come to me when you actually need help with something,â you tell her, chuckling, unable to hide your toothy smile before returning to your computer screen.Â
You overlook the intent behind her stare.Â
âIâm serious. I really need someone to pose as my boyfriend for a day,â she replies, to the point. Another thing about living with Tzuyu is that sheâs always straightforward. Thereâs no beating around the bush with her; everything she says is the truth. So why arenât you taking her plea with a little more genuine concern?
âYeah. Me. Your boyfriend. As if thatâs gonna convince anyone,â you reply, typing away at your keyboard, unfazed by her statement. You still donât buy it.
âYes. I believe you can be my boyfriend.â
You laugh again. More sarcastic than amused this time. âReal cute, Tzu.â You face your roommate with an unamused grimace. âNow what do you want from me?â
âDo I need to slap you to prove Iâm not lying?â Tzuyu returns your mockery with a contemptuous glare of her own.
Still under the impression that sheâs toying with you, you playfully challenge her. âSure. I donât think youâre being seriousââ
A thunderous echo ripples between the space between you and Tzuyu, immediately closing the gap. Everything happens in an instant. Youâre sent swerving back, along with your swivel chair. A bright sore blot forms on your cheek, the pain not registering right away. A little more applied force on that hit and she would have dashed your head against the wall.Â
âOhâdamn.â You groan, pressing a palm on the reddened area, flush with blood, as if a bump had formed from the sharp impact. âAll right, I believe you now.â
Sheâs shaking her head, her expression intense, humorless. âNow will you hear me out?â
âYes!â you shout at her, inflection teetering on screaming, nodding your head in agreement.
âGreat. Go fix up your face first, then Iâll explain everything,â she says before turning away and walking out the front door, leaving you on your own to fix yourself.
âââââ
Tzuyu doesnât even come back to the apartment by the time you clean up yourself. Itâs late in the evening when she bursts in, bringing a few pairs of freshly bought expensive outfits. Itâs part of the package living with one of the richest women in your college. Her entire wardrobe is fitted with nothing but designer clothing, jewelry costing up to the hundreds of thousands, and tailor made outfits designed to fit only her and her alone. Her casual attire could be your Sunday best. Her pajamas could be your everyday wear. Itâs as if her entire personality is to be a modelâand if she were, sheâd be the face of every brand and on the front cover of every fashion magazine in existence.
âI know this sounds outrageous, but I want you to be my boyfriend even for a day,â she repeats herself, the idea still too incomprehensible for your brain. You could listen to it again and again. For anyone, the thought is nothing but an impossible fantasy, but for Tzuyu to personally pick you, even if it's only make-believe, is something special.Â
You have more questions than answers. âYeah, but why? Why do you want a boyfriend for a day?â
âIâm visiting my parents for the weekend. Well, Iâm forced to.âÂ
In contrast to her extravagant lifestyle, sheâs sharing takeout chicken with you. More often than not, you eat the same food, with Tzuyu often deferring to you for choices. Usually fast food, itâs actually her preference.
âOkay, so what does this have to do with having a boyfriend?â
She takes a sip of her sake. âThey expect me to have one by the time I graduate.â
âOkay and? What happens if you donât?â
âArranged marriage. I promised my parents that I would find a boyfriend by the time I turn 25. Itâs how I got to be independent, how I got into collegeâ âshe faces you, her lovely eyes twinklingâ âand how I met you.â
Observing Tzuyu, you notice a few details. The most obvious being that sheâs pretty, even when chomping on a chicken legâs bone. The second is her worried gaze. This is something thatâs clearly been bothering her for a while. She has deferred to you countless times for multiple academic projects ranging from research to exams, each request building more and more trust, to the point where youâve become her closest confidant, in addition to being her roommate. Unlike before, this is not a test with a defined system and something easily manipulated and planned for, and you canât really prepare any better either.
On your end, she pays generously; youâre only applying for an internship because your course demands it. You could start your business with the money earned from helping her. But her payroll will eventually stop.
âListen. We might never see each other again when we graduate in a few months, and Iâm sure youâre tired of me asking for your help when you could be doing more,â she says, tone gloomy, nervous. âBut this is more you being the only guy I can trustâthis is my freedom on the line. Even if I mostly hated my time here, itâs still better than whatever life they want for me.â
You donât question her reasoning, even if that last bit sounds hyperbolic. Surely it canât be that bad. You and Tzuyu have a lot more in common than you realize: you donât like the college grind, youâre both admittedly reclusive, and youâll miss each otherâs presence when the time comes.
âCouldn't you try getting someone as a stand-in? Iâm not even in the top 100 most handsome guys in the student body. Itâll never fly.â
She chuckles, showing flashes of positive energy for the first time in a while. âNope. Theyâd fumble the script so bad it wouldnât be worth the shot. Iâd figure since youâre like one of twelve people I constantly talk to, I could trust you to be a convincing enough boyfriend.â
âDoes it have to be a boyfriend? Why not a girl?â
âI wish. Iâd love to bring Sana along, and sheâd be such a joy for them, but boomer parents, am I right?â
You both share a hearty laugh.Â
âAnyway,â Tzuyu puts away her plate, having finished her share of dinner to present you three shopping bags full of newly bought clothes. âThese are all yours, just wear the one you like the most to our date. Plus I donât think I ever bought you new clothes?â
âNope, nope you havenât.â You shake your head, remembering that your current computer setup, PS5, Lego collection, and closet full of jackets and joggers thatâs been collecting dust in the corner of your room were all paid under Tzuyuâs name.Â
âââââ
âYou never told me they were still living in Taiwan,â you say to Tzuyu, watching the ground from your airplane seat, which happens to be next to the wing. Youâve never been on a flight beforeâuntil now. Something you should have admitted, but your pride got in the way. âI thought you said they owned property here!â
Tzuyu blushes in shame. âDid I?â she questions herself, before suddenly recalling, âOh yeah! I lived here when I was in fourth grade. It was only one year though. I loved my schooling here; they didnât.â
None of what she said fully registers in your brain. What does occupy your head is the idea of plummeting 30,000 feet from the air. Even with all the safety measures, your mind races with a hundred scenarios ending in your sudden and tragic demise.Â
As the plane begins to move before eventually ascending, you canât stare away as outside scenery turns into vague blurs sweeping by. In just a few moments, youâre so far high that you can only see clouds. It sends your brain into overdrive. Meanwhile, Tzuyuâs completely relaxed, having placed a sleep mask for the 15 hour flight to come. She doesnât have to see at your worst, repeatedly cursing over the sound of music playing through her earphones. At least youâre comfortably secluded in first class, where each pair of passengers occupy their own private cabin for sleeping, eating, and even showering. No one can hear you scream.
The staff canât come fast enough, even if closing the blinds is the simplest thing you can do.Â
âââââ
On arrival, Tzuyuâs surprises keep coming in droves. A personalized driver and car awaits at the airportâs exit, carrying all your luggage by himself. Heâs got his own expensive suit, opening the rear passenger doors on your behalf.
âWelcome home, Miss Chou. And this companion of yours is?â
âMy boyfriend,â she warmly tells the driver, eliciting a curious look from him towards you. Youâre not doing anything wrongâyetâbut you can tell by his expression that youâre not giving off a good first impression. âIâm taking him to meet my parents.â
âOf course. Where shall I drive you? Shall I take you directly to them today?â
âNo. Iâd like to spend the rest of the day at my own place.â
âCertainly. Penthouse it is.â
After a leisurely half-hour drive through the city, the car pulls up in front of a high-rise building. The front entrance alone can be its own five-star luxury hotel and resort. Tzuyu says only millionaires are able to buy and own flats here, which makes her ownership of the penthouse even more absurd. Only now youâre witnessing the fullest extent of her wealth after seeing brief flashes throughout college.
Her lavish penthouse welcomes you from the moment you step off the elevator. Despite being away for years, the place looks as good as new, well-maintained in her absence. Every single room is twice the size of your whole apartment back home, with countless amenities and utilities dedicated to a certain purpose. Thereâs up to five bedrooms, each decked with their own king-size mattress and as many bathrooms to accommodate up to four guests at a time. The whole setup is topped up by a background of the city skyline seen through floor wide glass windows.
You donât really have any words to say at this point. Youâre just soaking it all in, filled with wonder and awe.
âAll this and you still chose to live in a regular ass dorm,â you comment, pressing one of the piano keys, its sound echoing all over the massive place. âYouâve got to be fucking shitting me.â
âDidnât really have a choice,â she says, pacing in and out of the rooms, her voice reverberating throughout the living room. âI had to get close to someone, and having my own place was not gonna help whatsoever.â
âChristââ you mutter to yourself, still taken aback at how fucking expensive Tzuyu lives. Someone of her kind shouldnât be pretending to act like everyone elseâstruggling to get by and having to grind their ass off. She doesnât need anything beyond a high school diploma and some common sense; she should be enjoying herself, living a larger than life lifestyle that others will be jealous of. Â
Still, this shouldnât be stressing her out. Despite her numerous rebuttals, she could have easily placed someone else in your shoes right now, someone more capable to face her seemingly stringent family.Â
You can only draw it up to rich people problems, something youâll likely never experience in your lifetime.
âWould you like to go out for dinner later? Or would you like for us to just have delivery instead?â Tzuyu asks, approaching you with an endearing smile and an enticing offer: on her hand are a dangling pair of keys with a prancing horse etched on them.Â
She has you under her spell, if everything else wasnât convincing enough.
âName me a nice place to eat and Iâll think about it.â
âââââ
You end up staying out way later than intended.Â
Itâs a miracle her car doesnât have a single dent by the time you return to the condominium. In the time youâve spent with Tzuyu, youâve grown more comfortable with the girlfriend role given to you. You donât even wait for the valet driver to open her side of the door; the act comes naturally. She steps out of the vehicle, one leg peeking through her dress, and itâs the hottest thing youâve ever seen. She reaches out her hand for you to take, and it feels like a habit youâve been doing for years.
Youâve gotten your fair share of jealous looks over the past few hours. Even now, bystanders in the front lobby are making a scene out of you being together. All of them are asking the same question: how does someone like you have a woman like Chou Tzuyu by your side.
Deep down, you recognize itâs an act, a part of the show. Tzuyu knows this too. She sells her parts like sheâs selling her beauty: naturally well. On the other hand, you are showing tiny cracks on your face, only crumbling after you disappear from everyoneâs view behind that elevator.
âSo, are you ready for tomorrow?â she asks you, friendly and soft as ever.
You sigh, unable to find it in you to answer. Even as you open your mouth, you lack the conviction to give off a confident response, and it shows in your word choice. âMaybe.â
Tzuyu furrows an eyebrow, frowning. âWhatâs up?â
You canât even look at her as you talk, only finding some semblance of relief watching the city from your view. Lovely, just like Tzuyu. âWhat if this doesnât work,â you tell her, tone low, evidently anxious. What ifââ
âDonât overthink it,â she turns you toward her, brushing a hand up and down your shoulder. For a moment, you see her eyes gleam with the night lifeâs reflection. âEven if it all goes horribly wrong, the blame completely falls on me. Remember that.â
âI might never see you again. Hell, you might never go back,â you reply, your doubts not quelled in the slightest. Neither of you care that youâve got your hands on each other, unwilling to let go.
âWeâll cross that bridge when we get there,â she says, unfazed by your pessimism. âAt least I made up for everything youâve done for me, including this.â
âReally? As if you havenât been doing that since I first helped youââ
Tzuyu laughs, her cheeks flush in embarrassment. âI got nothing better to spend it on. Might as well do it on someone who actually deserves it.â
Youâre not sure whether to feel elated or flattered by that statement. Your rosy cheeks say the former. Perhaps this is a consequence of spending way too much time with her, or that youâve been putting plenty of investment in your role. Either way, youâre better off spending the remainder of your night not overthinking about it. Itâs been a long day.Â
âIâm going to bed. Itâs getting late, and you said weâre getting picked up early tomorrow.âÂ
âRight. I completely forgot, too. I guess we must have been having too much fun together, huh?â
Neither of you even bring up the fact that you were holding each other close the entire time, bordering on romance. Itâs probably for the best.
âââââ
âHey.â
Tzuyuâs feathery voice brings your attention back to reality. For most of the ride, youâve been mindlessly staring out the window. From passing cars to idle trees, from long stretches of highway to winding mountain roads. Chatter inside the vehicle passes through your ears like radio static. Thoughts racing in your mind comprise numerous outcomes and what-ifs, none of which youâre able to see the ending. Never mind the fact that sheâs looking her most divine, her most prim, perfectly suited for such a special occasion. The less you think about whatâs ahead, the better.
She doesnât make it any easier, especially when sheâs leaning forward with her seatbelt, her warm expressions invoking sweet innocence and genuine concern. Her fingers are twiddling with yours, gripped to the leather seats, trying to get as much of your interest. âYou all right?â
You swallow down a nonexistent lump in your throat. âIâm fine. What is it?â
âMy parents are asking what your favorite food is so they can prepare it for you.âÂ
âTell them I like beef,â is your immediate response before looking out the window again. She doesnât press you any further, thankfully leaving you with your thoughts for the rest of the drive.
The car eventually stops in front of a large gate. Not a sign of security in sight, except for a pair of cameras positioned on both ends. After a brief scan, the entryway opens of its own accord. Youâve left the city so far behind, you might as well be high above the sky.Â
A couple more miles of driving till you finally reach your destination: a large mansion with a fountain statue in front of the entrance. A dozen expensive cars are parked right outside, all covered in sheets for safety. None of these details are surprising considering youâve previously seen Tzuyuâs wealth firsthand. Youâre starting to believe the rumors about her being the heiress of some business empire are true.
The driver needlessly announces that youâve arrived before he steps out to open the passenger doorsâTzuyu first, then yours.
To think youâd end up getting involved in family affairs straight out of a soap opera.
Tzuyu looks you in the eye, reaching out her hand with a reassuring nod. No words, just shared confidence and a slither of hope between you both. Despite the initial hesitation, you hold her and together, you enter the unknown.
Inside, more lavish decor greets you everywhere. Stuff thatâs more alienating than welcoming. Itâs a daunting presence being here that you end up forgetting to remove your shoes before entering, despite the butlerâs admonishment. Tzuyu ends up snapping you back, and you quickly swap your footwear for theirs before advancing. Mercifully, thereâs only two pairs of eyes in the room watching, but one is observing you through a harsh gaze.
The servant leads you out to a garden where you finally get a glimpse at Tzuyuâs parents for the first time. Also laid out on the lawn is a large table with different kinds of food being prepared by other butlers. Unsurprisingly, she runs ahead to greet them, leaving you on your own to introduce yourself to them.
âWelcome home, Tzu,â says both Papa Chou and Mama Chou to their daughter while she runs to her father, throwing a huge bear hug. She gives her mother a similarly loving embrace after.
Meanwhile, youâre taking little steps down the stairs to the garden, continually reminding yourself not to fuck up.Â
âOh! Rightââ Tzuyu looks in your direction, notices your plodding pace. Sheâs pointing you out to her parents like youâre the most important person in the room. âThatïżœïżœthatâs my boyfriend over there.â
At this point, you can easily fold a dozen different ways. Piss your pants, shit on them, run away like a spotted convict. You know as much about her family as anyone else in your position; the information given to you is incredibly scarce and vague at best. But youâre bound to Tzuyuâs hand like a string to a yarn. Your only saving grace is the hope that this event is a quick dine and drive and not some grandiose festivity.
It doesnât help that the entire time youâve spent with Tzuyu, not a single minute was spent on acting like her boyfriend.
All eyes fall upon you. It should have been a familiar feeling, something you can easily adjust to, but it isnât. This is different. Itâs not the same as being around friends and no-name strangers. Family judgment lingers on, especially after youâre through. Every little move counts.
Bowing to her parents, you pull your attempt at a friendly smile, falling somewhere between the line of goofy and awkward. âGreat to meet you, Papa and Mama Chou.â
Your âgirlfriendâ looks at you with a heightened sense of pride, convincing enough to be sincere. Sheâs hard carrying you in the acting department. Smiling more softly, she adds, âShall we eat?â
âââââ
You and Tzuyu are seated opposite her parents on the large table, with a scrumptious feast filling in the space between. Food is eaten in small increments, with most of the lunch spent on lengthy conversation. Itâs more of an interrogation and less of a friendly scene.Â
âSoâhow did you meet?â asks Papa Chou, tone as typical of a protective father, cold, calculated, and stern.Â
âHe was my roommate when I got into university,â Tzuyu replies, constantly shooting quick glances at you, eating your share leisurely. Both of you agreed that unless asked, sheâd take on the role of your mouthpiece. Youâre nodding; youâd say the same thingâand itâs one of the few things thatâs true. âIt was a chance encounter.â
âA roommate? As inâyou moved into a dorm?âÂ
âNot exactly a dorm, but an apartment close to campus. The dorms were too small to fit all my stuff in.â
âYou should have just moved into the dorms,â he says, aggressively munching his meal between sentences. âHow can you sleep peacefully at night knowing heâs just right next door?â
âAll right, letâs not offend our guest here.â Mama Chou interjects, trying to change the course of the conversation. Youâd immediately refute him if your mouth isnât filled with food at the moment. She faces you, asking, âSo, how long have you been dating?â
Now youâre swallowing hard, caught off-guard by the surprise question aimed at you. Tzuyuâs hands are tied; sheâs watching, but she wonât be saving you.
âAbout three years,â you say, staring back at your âgirlfriend,â looking for a lifeline by simply staring at her. Youâre in love; no youâre not. âSome of our schedules overlapped too, so we helped each other out.â
âYeah,â adds Tzuyu, nodding in agreement. âWithout his help, I wouldnât have passed some of my classes. If nothing else, heâs been nothing but kind and gracious to me.â
âThatâs great to hear.â Mama Chou smiles; sheâs clearly the friendlier and more approachable of the two parents so far. âIâm glad our daughter has a friend she can trust in college. But do you not have other friends too?â
âIâve made a few friends besides him too.â Tzuyu interjects, stepping in right as youâre about to continue speaking. She presents a photo of her social circle at a restaurant, consisting entirely of the women sheâs close with, including a fellow Taiwanese student. You met most of them because of her. âI hang out with the girls more than him, so donât worry.â
âTheyâre all pretty.â Mama Chou looks at the picture with delight. On the other hand, Papa Chou remains stone faced and unimpressed. Sheâs pointing her finger at the girl to her daughterâs right. âEspecially her.â
âOh, her? Thatâs Sana from Japan. Sheâs my best friend actually,â replies Tzuyu, grinning toothily recalling her. âAnd the two behind her are Japanese tooâMomo and Mina.â
âSo itâs a multinational university? Thatâs cute.âÂ
âWeâre still few and far between,â she corrects, putting away her phone. âItâs just that we happened to enter university at the same time, and weâre all foreigners, so we bonded through our shared experience living far from home. Weâll be graduating together in a few months.â
Her mother continues to nod concurrently, turning her attention away from her daughter to you again. âSo what happens after you graduate? What are your plans?â
Initially, you hesitate, reaching a crossroads. You can follow the broad outline given by Tzuyu: something about opening a restaurant franchise, following her familyâs footsteps in running a business empire, or say it as it is.
âIâdonât really know to be honest,â you tell her, glancing at Tzuyu, and she blinks rapidly, her smile wobbling. To everyone else, she looks calm otherwise. âIâm focusing on my studies right now, and Iâll cross that bridge when I get there.â
âWhat course are you taking?âÂ
âMechanical Engineering. I want to work with cars and all that.â
âSo you like cars, hm?â Papa Chou interrupts, leaning his head forward with intrigue. âTell meâyou watch F1? You better be!â
âAbsolutely!â Youâre staring at him, taking control over the conversation, growing comfortable with your newfound position.
âWhatâs your team? You better not say Red Bull or Ferrari.â
âMcLaren.â
âDriver?â
âLando.â
He laughsâheartily. Heâs offering his hand for you to shake, which you do. Youâre then tugged forward by the harsh tug of his grip, much to the amusement of everyone else. âI think weâre gonna get along just fine.âÂ
Before you know it, youâre being pulled aside and dragged away from Tzuyu and her mom, leading you to the other side of the mansion.
âââââ
âGood God,â you say, your jaw agape, blown away at what Papa Chou is presenting you: an orange McLaren F1 tucked away inside an enormous garage filled with other luxury cars. âThisâthis is my dream car.â
âHandsome, right?â Heâs leaning by the door, grinning like a child. âItâs got a thousand miles on it too. Wifey doesnât really like it, though. Says it takes up too much space in the garage.â
âShitâsorry for my languageâhowâd you end up buying this?â you ask, swinging open the opposite butterfly door, admiring the interior. âThereâs just no way this is realââ
âItâs as real as real gets.â He cuts you off, chuckling at your utter disbelief. âI bought it off some English comedian, then I had it restored and repainted. Says heâs crashed it a few times. Maybe he has, as you kids say, skill issue.â
âSoâwhy are you showing me this?â you ask, turning to him as youâre both seated on opposing passenger sides.
âI was going to give this away to the one who was supposed to marry her,â he says, holding his side of the steering wheel. âBut she wanted to live away from us. Very far away.â
You raise your eyebrows, curious.
âTzuyu is a good person. Sheâs kind, compassionate and looks after those sheâs close with. But sheâs also blunt and to the point,â he continues, facing you mid-conversation. âIf she feels that something is wrong, she wonât hesitate to call it out. She doesnât care whether youâre friend or family. She trusts her intuition first above everything. So for her to have a boyfriend only means one thing: she really has full confidence in that person.
âI think youâre a good guy, and I thank you for helping her. But I donât want my daughter to come home with a broken heart. I would tell you to leave her alone, but I donât think she would want me to say that. So, I only want you to promise me this one thing.â
âAnd that is?â
âMake her feel sheâs not alone.â
You blink. Again. A few times for good measure. Thereâs a lot to comprehend and digest, even when itâs been simplified to a simple promise. Youâre not sure whether you can agree to that. It may be a straightforward command, but itâs one with a lot of weight borne on its shoulders.
âPromise me that you wonât leave her alone when you go back. Believe me when I say I havenât seen her face shine that bright in years. I want to see my daughter smiling like that again when she comes home in the future. So I know sheâs in good hands. Make sure she does not regret her decision.â
You look away, hesitant, uncertain whether this is still all for show or a genuine reminder. Now you realize how deeply connected you are to Tzuyu. You donât remember life before meeting her, and you canât imagine a life after her.
âI will.â
It isnât the answer you want to give. Youâre still trying to fully grasp everything. However, it is the answer that he wants to hear.
âââââ
After lunch, you and Tzuyu are left to your own devices. Your private talk with her father is played off as a fun discussion about his love for cars, completely disregarding the actual content of your conversation. Probably for the best; such an occasion demands a positive vibe overall. You spend the afternoon exploring their gigantic mansion, amazed by the vastness of the place over the grandiose material taking most of the space. If not for the presence of a butler at every corner, you can easily get lost for days.
âHow long did you live here till you moved out?â you ask Tzuyu, examining a childhood photo of her with her family, including someone you havenât metâher brother.
âLived here during my teens. Was homeschooled throughout my primary years. Moved out when I was sixteen entering senior high.â She notices you taking a hold of her family picture, particularly noting her brother. âHeâs also studying abroad, too. Not as far away as me, but still far from home.â
âDoes he know?â You turn to Tzuyu, lifting an eyebrow.
âOf course he does,â she says, facing you with that trademark gummy smile. âHe thinks youâre cute, if youâre wondering.â
âNo, no. I meantââ
âOhâsorry I misunderstood,â she replies, laughing, blushing with embarrassment. âBut he was the one who convinced me to move out. He told me if I don't experience everything for myself, then Iâm not living.â
You agree. Youâre worlds apart, from completely different backgrounds, different upbringings. And yet, youâve been brought together by some divine intervention, finding common ground to stand on.Â
âSoâwhat did my dad tell you in private?â she asks, her eyes wandering back to the photo, lasering in on her father.
You pause, reluctant to reveal the truth, even if sheâll most likely believe you. âNot much. Just showed me his car collection.â
She grins. Innocent as it may look, she knows thatâs not the full truth. âHe told you something about me, didnât he?â
Your heart is racing. For how dependent she is on you, she can be rather intelligent and clever.Â
âHe definitely told you something. I just know.â
Tzuyu looks around and finds no one in sight. After double checking, she takes you by the wrist, dragging you along. She moves quickly, even through her heels. She takes you up the stairs and into an unexplored room, releasing you forward without care once inside. While youâre staggering and struggling to stay planted on your feet, she shuts the door behind you both and locks it.
There are no cameras in the room to catch you, and the blinds are completely closed off. Itâs just you two again.Â
âThatâs quiet enough.â Tzuyu steadily approaches you with a new demeanorâa straight, serious attitude reminiscent of her father. âI shouldnât have to ask twice. What did my dad tell you?â
You were going to explain everything without the extra theatrics anyway, but admittedly youâre now feeling more secure to admit in private. Their security cameras can catch strange sights, but not sounds. Hell, maybe the little stunt she pulled could be more suspicious than anything else.
âHe told me to look after you. Make you feel not alone,â you say, unable to look her directly in the eye, your gaze wandering left and right. âHe also said that youâre in good hands because of me.â
Tzuyu remains silent, only staring right at you as she draws ever closer. She doesnât know exactly how to react or what to say in light of your confession. You can tell the moment the wind in her sails has been knocked out: when you said love.
âHow did he come to that conclusion?â she asks, the gap between you only breaths apart.
âHe said that you trust your intuition more than anything,â you reply, tone low but straight, mustering the strength to meet her halfway. âAnd that you havenât been smiling like that for so long.â
She furrows her eyebrow, taken aback by the last statement. âReally? He did notââ
âHe really did. Iâm just telling you everything as I heard it,â you say, grinning through your teeth, laughing. There goes the little tension between you.
âCan he notââ Tzuyu cracks, strutting around you, toward the lone king-sized bed similar to the one in her penthouse. âHe literally calls me all the time. Hell, he was calling me the night before our flight. Donât believe him.â
âI wonât,â you reply, still chuckling.Â
Your gaze wanders down her baby blue dress, perfectly fit and tailored for her light frame. The lengthy skirt flows around her legs like water. As is her long hair, a mixture of black and brunette. You donât have to state the obvious, but you still feel the need to say it: Tzuyu is incredibly pretty. Sheâs been hearing that from everyone from the moment she was born. No amount of repetition can truly describe how attractive she looks, like this one occasion was designed specifically for her.
âSoâhe says I trust my intuition more than anything,â she mutters, glancing around the room. The bedroom belongs to none other than Tzuyu herself. Itâs the place she grew up in, and she feels nostalgia being inside it after being gone for so long. Her hands brush along the edge of the mattress, deep in thought. âI never really thought of it like that.â
âWhat do you mean?â
âI donât really know, to be honest. But heâs right about one thing,â she says, turning around to face you. Sheâs taking a good look at you from the neck down, and for the first time in your life, youâre dressed like someone worthy of a person like her. âI do love you.â
Before you even have a second to react, everything goes off. She catches your lips with hers. Itâs instantaneous.Â
Her hands take hold of your body, still unsure of what to do. You know exactly what to do, though, and thatâs to give in. You donât give it a second thought. You yield to her touch and melt into her passionate kiss, pressing deeper and exploring her shapely figure in return. Youâre pulling on each otherâs clothes and skin, unwilling to let go.Â
You can taste the pent-up need on each otherâs lips.Â
Yeah, you love her too, actually.Â
You love her dress tooânot only because baby blue perfectly suits Tzuyu like butter on bread, but also because it leaves her back exposed to your touch. She hums, whines into your lips, sucking on air between hungry kisses, taken by surprise of this new sensation. In response, sheâs tugging on your dress coat, pushing it off your shoulders and down to the floor.Â
âHow long have you wanted to tell me that?â you mutter, breaking off the kiss, hot air pressed against her mouth.Â
âI was gonna ask you the same thing,â she replies, grinning through her sweet lips.Â
âI never said I love you though. Like at all.â
âBut I can tell by the way youâre kissing me.â
âDoesnât mean anything. Iâve seen Sana kiss you like this.â
âAnd? Does that bother you?â
Her grin is turning into a wicked smirk. Slowly but surely.
âNot at all. Iâve been telling you right from the start: it should have been her, not me.â
She shakes her head. âYou want me to hurt Dahyunâs feelings by bringing Sana along? You heartless fuck.â
A new can of worms has just been opened up. None of which was ever in the equation till now. You regret stopping such an intimate moment for this conversation.
âItâs either that or you lose me forever,â she says, breaking the brief gap of silence. âAnd what could hurt you more?â
Nothing. The answer is nothing, but you donât want to directly admit it. You need Tzuyu.Â
So you end up kissing her again, and she graciously returns the love twofold. She needs you just as much. Youâre both meant for each other, and this is the sign.
You push her onto the bed, maintaining the connection as you continue to explore each otherâs clothed bodies. In any other situation, all your clothes would be scattered everywhere, and even in her childhood home, youâre both more than willing to make the move. Itâs dangerous, yes, but thatâs what makes it fun and exciting. After all, she said it herself;Â if she wasnât trying, she wasnât living.Â
âWait.â Tzuyu mumbles against your mouth, gently pushing you off. Youâre halfway through pulling the zipper on her back when she suddenly snaps the link in half. You take the hint and clamber off.Â
Seeing Tzuyu flat on her back in bed, looking at you with lust-filled eyes, is a sight a thousand pictures worth taking. Your fingers are anxiously waiting, trembling in anticipation on the corner of your pants, ready to flip at the drop of her word. But thenâ
âLetâs not. I mean, I donât wanna say it, but this is just a little too fast for my liking,â she says, glancing around her bedroom. It would certainly be a strange feeling to get fucked in her childhood room, among other things. âPlus you knowââ
Sheâs pointing to the locked door behind you. While you both hear nothing at the moment, you never know whoâs right around the corner.Â
Wistfully, you sigh in despair. She sits up and pats you on the head.Â
âSorry. I want it as much as you do, but not here. I almost let my thoughts get the best of me,â she says regretfully.
âI understand,â you reply, defeated and crestfallen, despite her efforts to comfort you.Â
Turning your head back, you find Tzuyu slipping a hand between her dress, fishing for the panties from her legs. She pushes them past her heels and places them beside her on the bed.Â
Aware of the consequences of whatâs about to happen, she looks at you with an inviting smile.
âââââ
âOhâoh fuckââ whines Tzuyu, her thighs spread wide between your hungry, ravenous tongue. Sheâs lying flat on the floor, giving you full access to her cunt, but with one condition: that her bed is not to be messed with in any capacity. Of course you took her up on that offer without hesitation; itâs the easiest thing in the world to avoid when the space between the door and the mattress is just as long as the steps between the back garden and the mansion.Â
And as much as you want to tear through her dress and feel her pale, creamy skin, you still have to meet people looking as fresh as you possibly can. Youâre telling yourself this will be a quick affair, an appetizer for whatâs to come later in the night.
Except your brain says otherwise.
Your tongue flickers against Tzuyuâs aching core in bursts. Slamming her eyes shut, she whines and whimpers. Her nails dig into the carpet floor, nerves trembling and convulsing with each flat lick and press on her wet cunt. Itâs evident in how violent her body reacts that sheâs new to this feeling, something sheâll have to get used to.Â
Meanwhile, youâre having a feast. Youâre lapping away at her dripping pussy, taking every little drop of slick into your mouth, and sheâs so generously soaked. Despite her reluctance, youâre pulling her creamy thighs against your face, wanting her to suffocate youâto utterly ruin you. Even at her most vulnerable, sheâs still as careful and dainty as ever. A good girl, like her father says.Â
You wonder how heâll look at both of you after this.
âMmâplease, I donât wanna hurt youââ she mewls, making an effort to resist your push despite the constant surge of pleasure coursing through her body. Her lashes flutter as she struggles to open her eyes.
âI can take itâjust give inââ you tell her, your voice muffled into her skin as you hungrily continue to eat her out. âYou taste so fucking good.â
Tzuyu eventually folds. Gives in to ecstasy and lets herself go. Youâre forcing these deep, whiny bursts from her mouth as you drag your tongue on her clit, satisfying her most sensitive spots. Her cries echo throughout the room, past the large doors. Itâs a dangerous place to be caught in, but youâre so close to drawing everything out from her. You donât regret a single moment. As much as you want to pull out and replace it with your fingers, she tastes too good for your greedy mouth to share. Youâre going to drink her for all her worth.
Her voice cracks with every flick you give; her breaths grow frantic. At this point, the pleasure is becoming too much to bear; she can only grip the carpet tile and brace for impact. Sheâs quivering as your fingers join your tongue in parting her cunt to be taken and used. It sounds sympathetic when she moans a high-pitched cry, declaring, âGonna cumâfuck!â
It doesnât deter you in the slightest. Hell, it only encourages you more.
Except you donât get the pleasure of replying or gloating, because she cums. Hard.
You do, however, earn the gratification of laying your tongue flat on her cunt when her body locks, before violently crashing. Torrential waves of slick gush all over your needy, thirsty tongue. You lap it upâevery last drop, even as it spills onto the carpet floor, drenching your face and the area around her crotch. Her moans come out in waning hoarse bursts, trying to keep your little secret as hidden as possible. In reality, it was obvious to anyone with a functioning ear and a respectable distance away. The locked door was a nonfactor.
Despite your reluctance, you slowly pull away from her heavenly core, licking your messy lips clean, saving the remains with your fingers.Â
Still, the desire remains. Youâre leaving soft kisses down her thighs, watching Tzuyu depleted of strength as the fallout from her orgasm persists. Unable to find the strength to regain her composure, her eyes remain glued shut, her jaw slack, her breaths heavy. Her arms find solace in each other, folded and held close to her stomach, as if in utter pain, when itâs really just your tongue. âOh Godââ
âHow does it feel, Tzu?â you say before kissing her smooth skin.
She struggles to breathe, let alone utter a single word. By the way her lips curl into a satisfied smile, you can conclude that she enjoyed every moment. Rolling over to her side, even in this flushed, broken state, her profile looks so beautiful. To think she wakes up like this every single day.Â
Suddenly, you hear a loud knock on the door, followed by a prompt call. âMiss Tzuyuâyour parents are looking for you.â
The blunt voice instantly springs Tzuyu back to life, immediately ignoring the crash from her climax. âShit,â she sharply mutters, looking over to the bed where she thinks her panties lie, but are actually in the pocket of your suit jacket. âDo you think theyââ
You fire back a mischievous glare, complete with matching playful face.Â
This was her idea after all; you were just following along.
âââââ
Waiting by the same vehicle you arrived in, youâre about to be driven back to her penthouse. The sun setting has begun setting down, and you both have a few days in Taiwan before flying back home. Tzuyuâs with her parents at the front door, giving them one last hug and kiss goodbye.
Itâs only a brief exchange. She quickly rejoins you with a quick peck on the cheek. Looking past her are the waves of her family wishing you safe travels.
âWhat did they say? Whereâs the driver?â You ask Tzuyu, curious about the lack of a butler.
Smirking, she jingles a pair of keys in her hand like it's her personalized bell. âWeâre not taking this car back.â
âThen what is our car then?â
She presses a button, and your attention is immediately diverted by the roar of a powerful engine. A familiar two-door coupe pulls up directly in front of the entrance.
You face Tzuyu, then to her dad, who simply motions his hand out to the car. She hands over the keys before walking ahead, swinging open one of the butterfly doors. âItâs already rush hour, so unless you wanna be late for our dinner dateââ
You immediately rush past her and into the driverâs seat, revving up the engine. âOkay. Get in.â
âââââ
As the Chou property quickly disappears from the rearview mirror, you glance at Tzuyu, realizing something seems off.Â
Thereâs no emotional goodbye, no formalityâjust a brief exchange and then youâre sent off, just like that.
âThereâs no dinner date right?â you ask her, your attention primarily focused on the winding, curving road ahead. Even with your brief experience behind the wheel of a fast car, this older one in particular requires more skill and direct input. âSurely you didnât book one on the same day asââ
Tzuyu doesnât respond, only leaning back on the passenger seat. A cursory glance reveals the curl of her lips as she seemingly falls asleep.
âYouâre quite naughty, you know that?â you comment, nudging her elbow, eliciting a laugh out of her. âWhat happened to the so-called âprincessâ of the Chou family?â
âYou know why I even bothered to come home, right?â she replies, opening her eyes and staring directly into you. âI donât miss it that much.â
You can only chuckle in response.Â
âAnd yesâwe donât have a dinner date if youâre wondering,â she adds, her cheeky grin shifting into a coy, taunting smirk. âReally smart of you to realize that I wanted to leave before we are forced to stay overnight, or even worse.â
âIâve spent better days in worse.â
She lowers her eyebrows. âSeriouslyââ she says, before immediately hesitating, thinking of another way to prove her point, when suddenly, âYou should be thankful they didnât notice the panties in your pocket.â
âAnd you should be thankful they didnât notice the screams coming from the bedroom,â you retort.
âI was trying to hold back, dipshit.â
âThat was you holding back?â You laugh hard at her half-hearted attempt of an excuse, seeing as you have a front row seat at how she crumbled. âThen what about when I fucking ate you out and you were cumming all over me? What was that?â
âYouâre no better; what about those mumbles I hear at night, huh?â she says, tone hostile, altering her voice to mock yours as she continues, âWhy do I sometimes hear my name in your room, huh? âFuckâTzuyuâyouâre so tight TzuyuâIâm gonna cum Tzuyuââ Huh? What was that? You degenerate.â
âItâs none of your business, Tzuyu.â
âMaybe dad was rightâI should have just had my own apartment!â
The car accelerates, its roar the loudest thing for miles. Youâre blitzing through the freeway, speed cameras and fines be damned. Had conversation happened minutes earlier, when you were climbing down the mountains, neither of you would be talking right now.
âYou donât believe that.â
âYouâre rightâI donât!â Tzuyu shouts before looking away. She doesnât care anymore.
You stop twisting the knife, refocusing your priority on not intentionally driving the car into a lamppost this late into your journey.Â
So when you finally arrive at her apartment complex, neither of you hop out immediately. Thereâs a valet waiting in the wings to take over, but youâre not letting the world move on until you come to some form of compromise.Â
âFine. Iâm sorry Tzu. I just thought you didnât like your parents that muchââ
âI donât,â she interjects, facing you again, her features cold and stern. Again, much like her father. âIâm just glad we got all that behind us without any issues.â
âAnd what about the whole âyou heard me jerking off to youâ thing?â
âStill gross. If you werenât helping me in my studies, I wouldnât have asked for your help had I known sooner. Pervert.â
âOuch.âÂ
Itâs more of a mock than a devastating admission to your character.
âToo late for that, though, sadly,â she says, sighing, both half-joking and half-serious. âLook, letâs just get this over with and pretend after that this never happened.â
âSeriously?â
âYes! Iâm so tired, I just wanna lie down and forget about all this.â
Neither of you realize you can be heard by the waiting valet driver. He doesnât seem to mind, though.
âAre we really just gonna gloss over this issueââ
âItâs a non-issue. We didnât get caught, youâre just being a dude. I know. Iâve been with worse guys. Now letâs go.â
âââââ
Despite her request, it's not as easy as it sounds. The touching, the kissing, the passionâitâs as real as real gets.Â
The same can be said about Tzuyu; behind the callousness and seeming apathy is a pent-up need and genuine desire.
You both emerge from the elevator already on each otherâs bodies, wrestling for control, your suit jacket already on the metal floor. Her nails leave sharp, scathing marks on your skin, measuring you up. Sheâs loosening up the buttons on your shirt as you pin her against a wall, then lead her into one of the five bedrooms. As much as you want to break loose, she has you bound by the neck, making sure your lips never leave hers.Â
âSo this is why you donât want to hurt me,â you mutter, breath hot against hers, pressing a finger on your freshly clawed neck.Â
âSorry,â Is all that she can say, and in your eyes, thatâs more than enough.
âFirst kiss, first sex, and first argument all in one day. Weâre really moving fast as a couple, huh?â
Tzuyu giggles. âI guess weâre a match made in heaven after all.â
Soon youâre back to making out, fueled by the need for each otherâs lips. Despite your bodies crashing onto the bed, youâre still madly kissing each other. Running down the last of your buttons, she pops your shirt open in half, which you slip off. Pulling her back to your level, you kiss down her chin and suck on her neck, releasing a soft, airy whine from her delicate lips. She tilts her head up, opening more of her porcelain skin for the taking.Â
Every part of Tzuyu tastes perfect.
Meanwhile, your hands take lease of her back, roaming the exposed parts of her dress. Dabbling with the fabric, you finally pull on the zipper, the garment loosening, freeing, the feeling liberating. For the most part, Tzuyu has always been conservative, even in her most formal outfits. A slit in her dress for a leg at best. Beneath lies some white lace and matching panties, her crop top revealing more tummy than youâve ever anticipated.Â
Youâre getting more than what youâve bargained for, and her figure is so mouthwatering.
With the top half of her dress bundled on her waist, you throw her back down on the mattress, biting on her collarbones. Sheâs panting, breaths frantic, her hands wrapped around your back, her muscles jolting with every little kiss. Raising a leg close to your hip, sheâs softly muttering sweet nothings, whispering, eventually revealing whatâs really on her mind. âI want youââ she mumbles, her dainty tone making your pulse race, tilting her head to the side to let you conquer more of her lithe body, which you happily do.
Itâs been a long day. You could honestly stay in this position foreverâyour limbs twisting and tangling in a messy harmony, your bodies pressed together, finding solace and comfort in each otherâs warmth.Â
Tzuyu squirms beneath, lightly pushing you away. Taking the hint, you relent. Lo and behold, half her neck and collarbones are swollen red, your handiwork. While she gathers much needed air for her lungs, you use this brief moment of respite to slip the remainder of her dress down her slender legs before tossing the garment aside to be forgotten. Your trousers end up joining them on the floor shortly after.
Even in this vulnerable state, Tzuyu looks so breathtakingly beautiful. Her perfect side is always on display, no matter what angle.
âTell me what you want baby,â you whisper on her skin, leaving soft, more delicate kisses on them. Knowing how fragile she is, youâre making sure you donât flatten her whenever you go down on her.
âI just want you,â she whines, her eyes slammed shut and body writhing, even without any contact. Sheâs already trembling at the mere thought of you.Â
âBe more specific, Tzu,â you command her gently. Sliding down your boxers, your aching cock can finally breathe from its constraints. You press a finger on her panties, and even through them, you can tell sheâs soaked. Still, as much as you want to undo them, you want her to do the honors. âTell me exactly what you want.â
âI want your cock,â she replies, tossing and turning left and right. So wanton, so desperate. She slides down her panties for access, prompting you to hover above her. âGive it to me. Iâve wanted you to fuck me me for so long.â
âHow long?â You toy with her, positioning your cock directly between her entrance, the tip lining against her dripping slit.Â
âSince earlier,â she whines, feeling the tease, the slow burn, the knife being twisted in her gut. She canât do anything about it. âPleaseâjust put it in, already.â
The smirk on your lips canât grow any wider. âI donât believe you. How long have you really wanted this?â
Tzuyu moans, moans, and moans, much to your delight. Despite her efforts to suppress herself, she inevitably folds. âI donât careâjust fuck me already, will you? Iâve touched myself listening to you. Is that what you wanna hear? I donât care anymoreâjustâstick that thing inside me already!â
You didnât think she would spill the beans this easily. Her wantonness and impatienceâit speaks volumes. Itâs arousing, makes your ears perk in excitement. A win is a win, after all.
Grabbing her waist, you slide your cock into her entranceâpainstakingly slow, slowly setting yourself on fire. Even the slightest flex and push against your shaft could break you in half. Holding your breath, every moment growing more tense as she envelops you in her suffocating warmth. It doesnât help that her legs clench around your hips, binding you with her for good.
Thereâs only one way this could end.
âOh fuckââ you groan, slamming your eyes shut as your cock buries deep in her sopping cunt. An echoed cry rips through the vast room, a fine blend between your voices. She feels so good, so tight, so invitingly hot. Finding some semblance of control proves to be a challenge as her pussy convulses around your cock. The look in her eyes when they flutter open, her jaw slack, her brows shifting, the moan escaping her lipsâitâs better than anything your imagination can project.
You draw your hips back, against the constricting hold Tzuyu has on youâboth physically and mentally. Her hands are all over youâgripped on your nape, on your skull, roaming your back. Sheâs holding on you so tight; she needs you more than oxygen right now.Â
Slowly but surely, you push back in, pumping her cunt in deliberate, purpose filled strokes. She moans, reduced to merely a string of profanity-laced bursts. Pressing your temple against hers, you admire how undeniably pretty she looks, even when you have her pinned like this. It goes without saying that Tzuyu is an absolute beauty, a goddess made human, and how fortunate you are to sully and defile her.Â
Itâs the perfect sight for sore eyes, an idyllic escape from the fiery sensation in your stomach.
âSoâso gorgeous, Tzuââ you mutter, leaving a chaste peck on the tip of her nose, your moans going back and forth, perfectly paced with your hips rocking against hers. Youâve never felt this uniform, this perfect together. âSo fucking wetâand tightââ
Sheâs far too engrossed in pleasure to move, let alone say a word. You can feel the kick from her thighs, their coil around your waist, demanding more. Faster. Harder. Without the need to vocalize them. As comfortable as you are, your primal instincts are encouraging you, pushing you to take her the way she should be used.Â
âIâm gonna fuck you hard now,â you tell her as courtesy, moving through with the deed regardless of her response. She nods. Whether itâs from the persistent quake of the bed or a voluntary act, it doesnât matter. Youâre only focused on drawing out the most ecstasy in fucking her.
The fuse has already been lit the moment you first entered her; youâre just accelerating the countdown.
âYesâfuckingâoh my fuckingââ you groan, the piston of your hips moving quicker and quicker with each thrust. The way her pussy quivers and flexes around your cock is so devastating, itâs burning through your skin. Your mind is in utter disarray, unable to fully comprehend the tightness consuming you. Itâs going to pull you further and further down without a way to escape. You can only drag Tzuyu down too.
Youâre crushing her, smothering her in your desperate attempt to stay in control. Sheâs doing everything in her power to shatter you, and itâs messing you up. She continues to moan in broken, jumbled tones, pulling you close to her with each pump, meeting halfway in a rhythm that hits the spot.Â
âJust like thatâjust like thatâmmââ Tzuyu keens. How she can make even the littlest words sound so saccharine and sincere is beyond you. The way she takes your relentless pounding is a feat worth admiring. Itâs the least of your concerns right now, especially when she continues to lead you further to your collapse. âAlmost thereâjust keep fucking me.â
As if you had any other thought or option. That, or pulling down the strap of her skimpy crop top, exposing a breast, watching it ripple.Â
Her hair tangled around your waist, you keep fucking away. Stopping is the last thing youâd ever want to do, especially since youâre close too. The friction between your skin and hers is growing too unbearable, and yet the satisfying ripple of flesh slapping flesh supersedes that. Thereâs nothing sinful in what youâre doing, only something right.
âPlease babyânever stopâstretching me out like thisââ she mewls, her nails digging deep into your back, tilting your face and leading you into a passionate kiss. âCumming for youâoh shitââ
Tzuyu clenches, kissing into you harder as her body comes undone from head to toe. Every nerve, every muscle going limp as she cums. She moans directly into your skin, freezing, her legs and arms coiled around your body as a wave of her slick spills all around your hard cock, landing on the sheets. Â
Itâs the perfect time to get dragged by her wave of pleasure. You werenât going to last any longer at this rate. âTzuââ is the only thing that you manage to utter, before it completely falls apart.Â
Against the last of your resolve, your grip gradually loosens. Straining your hips, you thrust forward a handful of times, each one more and more agonizing till you finally reach the boiling point. Your cock throbs violently as you pump deep in her pussy, even as her legs collapse on the bed, because anything else would be a disservice to her unspoken demand. Youâre groaning raspily against her ear, holding onto her even though she canât move.Â
You fill her. Releasing every pent-up need and tension, your bodies go numb together. Her cunt squeezes every last drop of cum out of you. Tzuyu wonât settle for less. Youâre repeating her name as your orgasm persists, the agony of blasting streak after streak seemingly unending. Your hips continue to fuck the cum deep into her pussy, gradually slowling by the second until you come to a full stop.
In the end, the only thing that remains are your labored breaths.Â
You clamp down on her collarbone before your consciousness eventually drifts away. This is the position you end up in for the rest of the night: you slumped over Tzuyu, arms wrapped over each other, drenched in sweat and sex.Â
At least she has the warmest blanket to cover her from the cold.
âââââ
As morning comes, youâve spent more time inside Tzuyu than anywhere elseâas it should be.Â
âYou sure you donât wanna go anywhere?â she asks, showing you her phone with a picture of a hot spring, one of many in the country. âWe could use it before going back.â
âIâm good,â you say, looking up at Tzuyu, her lithe figure leisurely bouncing on your lap, eliciting these soft, airy moans out of you between thrusts. Youâve been mindlessly admiring her perfect body, your hands roaming at her waist, to her chest, then her ass, finally back to her waist again. âMaybe if you want, just go yourself. I just wanna sleep.â
âDonât be such a killjoyâ she replies, tilting her head down to meet you eye-to-eye. âAfter what weâve done, you just wanna sit back? Youâre really a pervert, you know that?â
âStill calling me that? After I fucked your brains out?â
âJust because you fucked me so well doesnât change anything before that, pervert.â
âFuck you.â
âFuck you!â
Tzuyu places the phone on the end table before brushing your hair. She has this contemptuous look, her frustration bubbling to the surface. If she were any less patient, she could probably end you in an instantâ
Except you both laugh, breaking the so-called tense silence.
âYeah, I guess Iâm also tired too,â she remarks, finding purchase of your face, then your chest. She stops grinding on you to lay on your head instead. âWe could spend the whole day here, just ordering delivery. I wouldnât mind.â
As entertaining of an idea as it sounds, the initial proposition gradually sinks in. You imagine the scene: a hot spring. Being one with nature. Some much needed relief for your muscles. More importantly, another excuse to see Tzuyu naked, even though sheâs in nothing but a short robe right now.Â
Better yet, thereâs a shower you can take her in, but sheâs worn you out to the point of hardly moving.
âTzu?â you mumble, caressing her covered back, cuddling her.
âYeah?â
âI changed my mind. Letâs go to the hot springs.â
Even without looking, you can feel her annoyance. You can already envision the scorn on her features. She realizes she has made a huge mistake.Â
This is only the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
âYouâre the worst boyfriend.â
âWorst? I thought we were just pretending.â
âI hate you.â
âI love you too.âÂ
âââââ
(A/N: Was thoroughly surprised Tzuyu was the third Twice member to get her solo! Came out of nowhere, fun little title track. Giving me early Sunmi/2nd gen vibes. Didn't really think much of her but the styling for the promos really caught me by the throat. Also shoutout to ddeun for writing and posting an earlier fic with a similar premise and concept as this one (OC x idol meeting the parents), especially as it features best girl Yena. Thank you for reading!)
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STARCROSSED PT2 +à©â©â§âË LOGAN HOWLETT.
logan and y/n â where you are completely in love with a man older then youâre father by a good century or so.. whose completely in love with another.
- content warning age gap (is legal) drinking. explicit. swearing. dirty humour. comfort (an ounce). drugs. nsfw. sick. body issues. sh. angst.. maybe happy endings?! pairings: older!logan howlett x xaiver!reader. logan howlett x jean grey.
spoiler: insane yearning and angst iâm sorry im too far gone âčïž happy ? where.
note this is part two to starcrossed, prepare for even heavier angst!đ«¶đ» i didnât realise how sad this was until i finished the chapter and realised holy shit this is long. part three is already in the works. i hope u enjoy it! make sure to read pt1. itâs a bit diff from the first one but i hope u like it still. also if youâve seen the movie ten things i hate about u the mid bit of this might remind u of that one scene if u get me :) song: need you now by lady a cos i was listening to it and jeff buckley whilst reading this? also on the timeline im going for like xmen 2 time i think?
tags â @faceache111 @malfoys-demigod @navs-bhat @dilfismz @thisbipuff-isaswiftie @twinky-wink @thewiselionessss @thecraziestcrayon @awhoreforalotofshows @emily-b @jae48 @cxptainbuck @444st4rg1rl đ«¶đ»
[i hope you like it!!]
youâd absolutely love to believe that what you heard last night wasnât what happened but as your mind goes over the previous night as you fought yourself to stay awake during your fathers little class your brain couldnât forget the continuous moans and little yells that you heard from a few rooms across from your own at the mansion for a good hour or two last night. you canât help but figure out that logan most certainly found jean and just thinking about it made you feel sick. scott being the main thing on your brain after you got over the fact logan most definitely fucked jean last night.
she was a cheater. what else could you expect? your thoughts swirling in your brain causing an indescribable amount of heart ache as you kept yourself completely quiet and withdrawn from whatever was going on in this lesson, rogue clearly being able to tell you were off as she glanced at bobby giving him a look you picked up on â him shrugging his shoulders in return as you cursed your sadness for being so obvious.
just the thought of jean and logan staring at eachother hurt you but her touching him, his hands over her skin, her lips on his, his mind only on her in that moment and his gaze locked into hers as she let him take her yet again enraged you to another level it was a struggle not to jump into his mind and find out exactly what happened but you couldnât, you wouldnât. your brain fighting with your heart in every way as you felt sick with all those pictures of the scenario you were forming for yourself.
so from that knowledge as you sat in class you knew you needed to stop liking him for good. he didnât like you, he was throwing it in your face. you heard it all and it hurt you too much to bare. you didnât even wanna look at him â that single thought of contact sending you crazy. you couldnât even bring yourself to see him today. you didnât want too, you couldnât. seeing jean as you passed through the kitchen earlier was enough to make you nearly cry and immediately stop that tiny breakfast you had made.
you really couldnât deal with this. one bit. you never did well with emotional pain â physical was something you could endure, yet emotional was always something you couldnât stomach ever since you were a little girl.
+à©â©â§âË
you'd been avoiding him like the plague. literally. whenever you saw him at the end of the halls you'd turn the other away, force a little smile and act like you had somewhere to go if you were in conversation and it had been like that for two weeks. two weeks had passed since one of your normal conversations, the friendly chats you admired in your brain and made out to be more, the little touches he'd give you that you couldn't comprehend was only a friend thing to do, the way he'd hug you.. the deep conversations, the way he'd sometimes kiss your forehead before you left for bed, watching the rain together and just joking together all something you had put in the past. that had been gone for two weeks and to say it was breaking you would be an understatement.
you could tell others has noticed the practical borderline dissociation within you since you had been a little mute recently not that it was specially due to logan (it completely all was) but you didn't want it to be obvious, you hated that it could be perceived that way so you knew you had to do something about it. who knew heartache for one that didn't love you back could destroy you this badly from the inside out?
.. and today was no different on the logan front. you saw him once today in the halls ushering something to hank â the two in bustling conversation and you made sure not to risk it by going to class, to upset over it all to deal with another short horrible conversation where you were nothing but cold to him as you tried to cut down any romantic feelings you had for him. every time you spoke now you could see the confusion and frustration in his eyes, the mental image to much to bare as you went on hiding in your room and pondering and thatâs where you had been since â buried in clothing choices as you tried to stomach down the anxiety that had been growing in you over the fact it was jeans birthday party today and you would have to make an appearance after you had been a hermit since youâd got your heart broken by a guy that didnât even know. rogue and bobby being the only two people you had really spoke too since the shut down yet their concern had been growing annoying as rogue clearly told bobby about the little crush she couldâve guessed, and got out of you when the two of you were high together a few months ago, you had on logan. bobby actually giving you little options of guys you could date to get over someone which was all you needed to hear when you realised rogue had told him as he literally mentioned hank who they knew you recently hiked with since he had been bothering you over your melancholy, yet you had left before it was a full fledge little argument.
just the thought of having to socialise with him and the others and step out of the hole youâd built for yourself to hide in irritated you especially for jean of all peopleâs party, your âsmidgeâ of hatred for the woman who had really been rude to you since sheâd known you not because of logan, because god on that front she wins and it feels like sheâs married to him despite her ties to scott, but on the power front. she knew you had powers incomparable to hers that you hardly even showcased magneto being someone who taught you many things when you were younger, your own parents being raven and charles. of course you had powers which were indescribable.
and most of the time you wanted to use it on that bitch. you were lucky she couldnât get into your twisted mind to find that fact out.
you let out a little sigh as you decided on the black mini skirt and sweater â you finally having an excuse for the fall outfit and lack of dress because it was october which has always been your favourite season and best time of year yet this year that didnât apply because you havenât been hardly able to enjoy it because of isolation youâd forced yourself into.
y/n had to swallow her own self pity down as she leaned over to her perfume bottle on the drawer next to her mirror as she took in the image of her body in the skirt. her shrinking body, a scoff leaving her lips as she wasnât happy with what she saw in the reflection. she never could be. the aroma of the perfume not masking her feelings at all as she put on some dc martens paired with black tights. the perfect little outfit yet she was sure jean would be outshining her on that front. god she didnât even wanna imagine loganâs eyes being locked onto jean tonight, the heart ache already unbearable to comprehend as she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat. that aching feeling hadnât gone away since the start of knowing logan the way she did, maybe that was a sign from the people above about how destined it was.. or how not it was.
these muddled thoughts led her too some early drinking as if she wouldnât be getting shitfaced later. pregaming alone which is a bit self pity full as she swallowed the burning liquor down her throat, the whiskey hitting her softly and slowly enough to give her the confidence to leave her room twenty minutes later for this party.
+à©â©â§âË
the decorations were perfect, the present corner was overflowing and the students and people were everywhere. jean being clearly the popular girl from the looks of this party, as if y/n already didnât know that, as the blasting music just made her more aware of the scenario she was in as she fought the urge to look around the room for logan as she went straight over to the bar that had been made. the party was the perfect one a girl, woman, could ask for and y/n could feel the jealously bubbling already that she bit down as she forced a friendly smile to join her lips.
walking through the dancing groups of people, there hardly even being any spaces to walk unless you wanted to bump into a coked up or insanely drunk teenager or wade. who she was lucky to get past without having to talk to yet, no matter how much she did like and enjoy his company she couldnât deal with his jokes right now which she could guess whoâd theyâd be centered around, she knew he knew to some extent she was just lucky he hadnât out rightly said it. that would be too much pity for her to deal with, that coming from wade being another level of pathetic.
the second she leant against the bar she managed to grab the busy barmaids attention giving her a soft nod and polite smile as she didnât notice the figure beside her as she asked for a coke and vodka.
âthank god youâre showing your face â i thought i was going to have to clone you to get a good conversation.â hank rolled out his tipsiness showing as he pulled y/n into a tight hug when he was sat down on the stool. y/n letting out a low chuckle as she hugged him back nicely, his presence being a little surprise she tried not to seem so bothered about.
âhiya hank.â y/n said softly as the barmaid came over with her drink, placing it next to her. âthanks.â y/n nodded out as hank placed his hand on the stool next to him as she immediately grabbed it and took a swig.
âcome! sit.â he ushered in with a drunken smile on his face, a bright one as usual, as he patted the bar stool next to him inviting her to sit and before y/n could even speak up in reply as she slid down on the stool hank bit in.
âwhere the hell have you been?â he abruptly said bluntly, putting a little look on his face off one thatâs pissed off as y/n felt the guilt rush through her as she wrapped her fingers around the glass drowning her truth in the drink as she took a big sip off the liquor acting as if that didnât taste appalling as she shrugged her shoulders at hanks obvious question which has an obvious answer to that sheâd play off as a stupid claim if questioned about it.
ââiâve been busy! controlling powersâ small missions, and that.â y/n lied out.
hank furrowed his eyebrows at his words, giving her a knowing look before he shook his head swiftly at what she said. seeing right through her little lie he truly knew nothing much about what the truth was or not as he took a little sip of his beer.
âi know you but iâm not pushing itâ rather you bite of loganâs heads rather then mine.â hank said out lowly as y/nâs eyebrows furrowed at his comment as a look of confusion spread over her face at the mention of him but before she could question hank on it she was met with two hands around her waist, pulling her tightly back purposely.
âhello pretty little liars, youâre aria?â wade said loudly into her ear his drunkenness obvious as y/n scoffed, him clearly stating that because her outfit choice as he squeezed her even tighter y/nâs eyes rolling as she elbowed him playfully back as his hands on her faltered as he playfully shoved her back.
ââelsa! you made it snow yet?â y/n said back to him as she was met with the sound of his laughter as he pulled on the stool next to y/n, making the guy who was sat on it mutter a curse before wade sent him a glare and then went speed walking away clearly a boy as young as fourteen or thirteen who just got the shit scared out him for, wadeâs harsh look as he sqt down on the stool as he met y/nâs gaze.
âyou know i have honey.â he nodded out with a smirk as hank leaned into the twos space.
âshots anyone?â hank rolled out, fixing his glasses as wade enthusiastically said a quick yes, y/n adding to the fire. ââvery much needed.â y/n drove out as wade sent her a little look of knowing yet he held back the urge to call her out on it. he was being a âgoodâ friend in his eyes anyway, he didnât wanna hear her say things about logan when he knew a few things himself on how the other party felt.
hank calling the barmaid over as wade pulled y/nâs stool closer to his that knowing look still present on his face as he played with the knowledge he had a bit just in a little playful way.
âyou seen the birthday girl yet?..gave her a gift?â wade said sarcastically knowing the two didnât really see eye to eye on a LOT of things as y/n gave him a little glare, him having been present for many of their little disagreements.
âluckily i havenât, as iâve brung nothing.â y/n rumbled back as wade nudged her playfully with her words as hank grabbed the tray of shots from the barmaidâ y/nâs eyes widening once she saw how many shots he had ordered. âfifteen?â y/n broke out with a raised eyebrow as hank chuckled as he took one, downing it straight away before grabbing another as wade spoke up cockily.
âwhoâs pants are you trying to get into?â wade rolled out, his voice sly as he grabbed two for himself as y/n leaned over and took one ready to get shitfaced, maybe thatâd stop her mind from falling back onto logan every other second her longing heart internally hating this situation more and more as she yearned to see him but she bit back the urge to even look around for him. halting that urge by taking a shot.
âpreferably anyone with a pulse and no dick between their legs.â hank said right as y/n took another shot, her nearly choking on the burning liquid which was a horrible mix of vodka and god knows what.
âi can tuck.â wade said lowly as this made it worse, y/n nudging wade, shaking her head as she held back her laugh as she swallowed the shot she just took. âdisgusting!â she rolled out as she took another, downing it before placing the shot down on the table.
âah! sweeties jealous.â wade spoke up sarcastically with that all familiar cocky smile on his face with that teasing glint in his eyes as he handed another shot y/nâs way as she took it gracefully as they all cheersed their glasses together. that being just one of the about eight times they did that within the next thirty to sixty minutes as y/n bit back her thoughts with copious amounts of shots and soon enough they had gone through a good four or so tray off shots and a few drinks each.
every passing minute y/n felt her mind get closer and closer to the edge as every time she felt that aching feeling grow sheâd swallow it back with another sip of liquor or large shot â wades jokes passing the time and hanks yapping and her own occasional drunken chime in making her mind a mess as hank got another row of shots.
the songs and wade and hankâs voices becoming a blur in y/nâs mind as she swallowed nothing but the truth with those shots. every sip feeling like more heartache she couldnât stop having.
+à©â©â§âË
y/n was practically stuck too the bar stool, her eyes scanning the crowd occasionally (by occasionally around five times if not more a minute) as she looked for him. her mind lingering on a certain someone as it always tended to do the liquor just amplifying those feelings as hank spoke up.
âyou knowâ you look like your mum.â
his words caused y/nâs attention to snap over to hank as she raised an eyebrow, wade making a little âooâ in the background even if he couldnât help but agree with his comment as he sipped on the cocktail he had ordered a few drinks previously that had just been laying there on the side. the bartender making a fuck ton of profit from these three miserables.
âvery dead?â y/n said sarcastically as hank gave her a little look â clearly a little annoyed she didnât take the comment seriously as he leaned a little closer to her.
âbeautiful you idiot.â hank added out, his words making her eyebrows furrow a bit as she took in his drunken words as she gave him a little a smile â swallowing the depreciating joke she was close to making as she took a sip of her drink.
âthank you hank.â y/n nodded out calmly as wade butted in.
ââfucking hell, incoming for angry jacob twilight wannabe.â wade cursed out as y/nâs gaze moved over wade following his eyes to where he was looking, her heart feeling as if it was flipping and twisting in her chest as she watched logan walk into the bar games room as she furrowed her eyebrows at the sight of jean following him angrily. her looking perfect as ever.
yet before y/n could think another thought she locked eyes with logan from across the room â their eyes meeting as she felt a weight lift immediately onto her as she swallowed a lump that formed in her throat at just the sight of him. it felt as if time has frozen just as they looked to each other , his eyes taking everything about her in as she did the same his way.
he practically immediately walked over, more like stomped over, as he seemed clearly agitated. more then usual as his eyes dawned onto wade and hank before resting back to y/n as he stopped in his tracks in front of the seated three.
âwho thought getting a teenager shitfaced was a good idea?â logan nearly growled out, giving wade a glare as y/nâs eyes lingered back on jean who saw who he was talking to and turned away her being even more pissed then him, y/n holding the urge to go into her mind and find out why as she brung her gaze onto logan after seeing jean walk off somewhere else in the room, her patience clearly wearing thin. her wanting to make a little childish comment about how she wasnât when wade spoke up.
âgods probably.â wade rolled out in reply as logan scoffed at what he said.
ây/n.â logan said, her eyes meeting his own as she took in his appearance. her eyes lingering on the chain that was wrapped around his neck â one he told her was something jean gave him when he first became an xmen, something he hasnât worn in months, this fact only making her feel a number of horrible thoughts as she grabbed her drink and took a mean swig. swallowing her own building self pity as she forced a fake smile logan immediately knew to be fake.
âhi.â she said swiftly after she put her drink back down on the table â his eyebrow raising a little at her hostility as he looked to wade, hank the back to her.
âuhââ logan spoke up, trying to find the words to say as he looked at her a bit lost for words at how she was acting as he swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat â feeling his frustration rise as he tried to control it, âwhere have you been?â he said lowly, hank raising his eyebrow at how this little conversation seemed weirdly tension filled. wade knew why, he couldâve called her little feelings for him back when she first met the guy but now he couldnât help see how serious it was because off the way she was looking at him and how it was affecting her.
he couldnât even brung himself to but in as he buried himself in his drink. hank doing the same.
âiâve been busy. but iâve been aroundâ i saw you two days ago.â she said quickly, shifting in her seat a little as his eyes almost felt as if they burnt through her.
âyou didnât stay,â he said taking a pause as he looked at her, taking in just how intoxicated she seemed as he tried to analyse it, âlike you uh- normally, do.â
his words touched a nerve on y/n as she felt that all familiar heart ache grow y/n trying to act as if the feeling inside her wasnât killing her right now and ripping her to shreds as she kept her gaze on him, his eyes on her making her think and feel a number of things she hated.
ââhad somewhere to be.â she replied quickly, his eyebrows raising at her bluntness to her reply as he knew something was off. he sensed it, the drunkness only adding to his worry as he went to step closer when he was cut off by a voice behind him.
y/n eyes dawned on the sight off jean, a tight silver dress on showcasing her curves as her red hair flowed down by her side as she looked at logan who hadnât even brung himself to met her gaze yet. y/n immediately being hit with a truck load of insecurities just with a glance to the older women who had the only guy sheâd ever loved wrapped around her finger.
y/nâs heart feeling as if it was stepped on as she kept her gaze on him â time feeling a little slow motion.
âloganânow.â jean said harshly.
âlo- logan.â she said again, y/n not leaving loganâs gaze as he swallowed his own spit as he eventually brung his gaze over to jean.
âloganâ he knows.â she said harshly, her words a little quiet as they were clearly just meant for loganâs ears yet y/n heard them. ânow! come on?â she questioned out frustratedly, saying that to grip his attention as logan looked to jean then back to y/n, wade and hank watching like it was a drama.
the air felt thick with some sort of something as y/n swallows, her eyes on him as he bit down on the inside of his cheek.
âbe careful kid, remember to slow down.â he rolled out before he turned away with jean going right to her side as y/n scoffed as he walked off turning her attention back to the barmaid â not feeling loganâs eyes burning back to her as he took a long glance her way before disappearing off with jean into the party to sort whatever was happening.
y/n rolled her eyes the second she turned her attention back over to the bar as she looked down at the bar table, swallowing her thoughts down with the rest of her vodka as she felt the others eyes on her. they sensed on the tension â it was impossible not too.
âso theyâre fucking again.â hank commented lowly and cluelessly. his words being like a gut punch to y/n as she bit down on her tongue as she called back over the barmaid, leaning over and ordering a couple shots as she sat back down in her seat.
âmm, most definitely.. hell for scott.â wade ushered out lowly, feeling a sense of guilt as he saw the way y/nâs eyes fell as y/n tried to mute out their conversation in the background as she welcomed the shots with open arms as she pulled the tray closer to her as she heard wade and hank whisper behind her as they leant over to gossip about the rumours of jean and scott being over as y/nâs heart felt as if it was plummeting and beating as fast as it ever had with every shot she took. the information she was hearing just making her internal pain grow worse as she tried to drink it away every shot seemingly enhancing her hurt as the metal images she were getting hurt her brain as she felt the urge to do something about it.
her mind full of relentless unlimited thoughts that were screaming at her as she placed the last empty shot glass she had down â the shots helping limit the voices to some extent as the barmaid came over and refilled them without another word most likely sensing her anguish as y/n nodded to her with as much of a smile she could muster up as she thought back to the conversation with logan.
âweâre going to danceâ you coming?â wade spoke to y/n as that brung her out her gaze with the bottom of the shot glass as she shook her head, ânoâthanks,â she slurred out as hank gave her a small nod and pat on the shoulder before they disappeared of into the crowd leaving her alone after saying their be right backsâ her lips immediately around another glass as she finished the rest of the drinks thay were laid out in front-of her.
y/n either needed fresh air and a sick bucket or the man she loved and craved, and she was going with the latter. her desires only heightened which was making just about everything worse due to the mess the alcohol had started to cause her brain and body.
her heart pounding as she stood up, everything going messy and spin like as she stumbled through the crowd. her mind on one thing and one thing only, one person, as she got pushed around a bit by the dancing people as she made her way out the bar room she was in. her eyes searching the place as she looked for him in every corner, in every face, every person, every laugh, every grunt and every noise. she was searching for him like she had been doing within her heart ever since sheâd know the man.
yet what she didnât expect to see when she turned the corner was him right there. logan right there in his bubble of perfection as she saw it. her eyes taking him in as she saw him in the hallway â a smile joining her lips as she started to walk over to him planning what she was going to say in her brain. how she was going to do any of this? she didnât even know what she had planned, she just wanted to speak to him. she needed to see his smile. she missed it. she wanted to make him laugh like usual, she wanted to kiss him, feel his touch. she needed it, it was destroying her to not have him. why was she ignoring him for the past two weeks? she should just tell him. nothing bad could hapâ
âmine.â she swore she could make out logan saying, her eyebrows furrowing in pure confusion as she took one little step closer to where he was as her eyes dawned on a certain red head with a killer smirk on her lips as she had a tight grip on his chain.
and with that every thought she just had was crushed within the space of five or so seconds as she heard jeanâs light hearted chuckle next, her voice grating against y/nâs mind as she swallowed her own spit back down as she made sure she couldnât be seen by them. feeling the sick feeling rising in her as she watched loganâs hands wrap around jeanâs waist as she pulled him closer to her in a teasing action that broke y/nâs heart in two.
she was frozen in her tracks, watching as the one she loved was with the one he loved.
âyouâre mine.â ringing in her ears as she just made out what he had said to jean as his words sent a chill through y/nâs body as she felt the tears start to boil in her eyes as she couldnât tear her eyes away from the scene. her mouth fallen gap as she watched as he roughly had her against the door jeanâs hand going down to the handle of said door as y/n watched as jean pulled him in the room with her roughly.
the door slamming behind them as she felt her beating out her chest, her breath shaky and hitched as she swallowed.
and when she heard a little squeal come from the room over the music a few seconds or minutes later, she couldnât tell how long had passed, thatâs when she knew she needed to go before she turned into a public laughing stock as she turned on her heel â shakily making her way through the crowd again, unbeknownst to the tears dropping down her cheeks as she fought her way through the dancing crowd as she tried to get the hell out of here as she thought she was fighting back her emotions, yet she really wasnât doing too good of a job with it.
âwatch it!â someone yelled out over the music to y/n as she shuffled past them quickly, stumbling out and disappearing through the back door as she made her break for it. her heart feeling broken to an extreme it hadnât felt before which was only amplified by the alcohol as she felt her brain chemistry formed for logan be destroyed within a matter of moments. seeing it in front of her own eyes being completely different from assuming it had happened.
the fact they were doing that right now she just couldnât and didnât want too comprehend it. it hurting her so much she felt as if she was going to be sick, she could feel it to the extremist point that when she managed her way to the end of the courtyard where her little spot was with her childhood swing set, where sheâs surprised she even remembered the whereabouts off in this state, she couldnât stop herself from leaning down into a bush shakily.
her mouth watering, her throat burning with liquid as y/n threw up into the bush her heart pounding ridiculously as she felt the tears burning against her cheek as she didnât even notice the feeling off two strong hands holding her hair back. her body shaking as she kept being sick, feeling the acid burn her throat as she felt a strong hand round her hair pulling it into a ponytail and another hand around her fragile body to keep her up.
her body flinching a little at the touch as the person leaned a little closer as y/n was sick some more, âitâs okayââ a low voice ushered out as y/n couldnât help be sick again, leaning down closer into the bush nearly tripping into it as the person held her upright. their hand snacking onto her waist as y/n leaned back into their touch. basically tripping into it as she let out a shaky breath as she wiped her mouth with the sleeve of her top.
her eyes moving up onto an all familiar face and she instantly cursed in her brain as he managed to move her over to the swings, sitting her down in one of two seats as she clung to the chain of it leaning her body against it freely as she let out a little cry.
âyouâre good.â scott said softly his voice low as he spoke into a comforting tone that didnât completely soothe her as she felt the tears trail down her cheek as he kneeled down â his hands stabilising the swing that was rocking a little as he looked up at her making sure she was okay on the swing. the cold air hitting the twos faces as the moon shone down on the courtyard, the faint sound of pop music from the mansion being completely distant to both of them.
âscott.â she managed to say, him being able to tell how far gone she was by the way she slurred her words as if her crying and throwing up didnât prove that enough. his eyes on her as he moved her hair out the way for her, tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear as she held back a little sob which wasnât held back that well as she let out a shaky whimper.
âw-whyâ doesn-t he love me?â she spoke out quickly, her breath shaky and her voice high pitched as she let out little sniffles in between words, the weight of those making a sad smile tug on scottâs lips as he kept his hand on her face trying to keep her upright which was sort of impossible as he kept his comforting warm hand against her face. just trying to make her feel okay.
ââheââ scott cut himself off before he moved closer to her, trying to keep her calm, âhe does love you okay?â
y/n shook her head at scottâs words as she let out a muffled sob against her wrist, shaking her head as scott wiped the tears from her cheeks. ânot like i want him to.â she rolled out in a slur, scott feeling his heart beat quicken at her little admission as if he didnât know how she felt over him before as he moved his finger across her cheek in a soft circular motion, his hand cupping her jaw.
âhey- he does okay?â scott said quickly as he moved her jaw down so she met his eyes again, his tone soft as he moved himself to the other swing next to her â the second he was sat him moving his swing closer to her own. tangling the chains of his swing up a little in doing so.
âhe does.â scott added out again, y/n not believing him at all as she swallowed a lump that had formed in her throat as she leaned herself again the hand that was cupping her face as she nearly tumbled off the swing.
her biting down on her tongue as she let out a little squeal as scott placed his hand on her back supporting and holding her up as a little chuckle left her lips as she leaned forward a little. scott not letting his hand move as worry was evident on his face as y/n turned to him a sad smile on her lips, tears still evident on her face.
âi wish.â he heard her whisper as he swallowed, his own voice breaking a little, âcome on. okay? he doesnât know what heâs missing right now.â he doesnt see you liking him.â scott said softly, giving her a little playful nudge as y/n started to lose the energy to even speak off it as she felt another tear slip down her cheek.
his words were taking the weight off her shoulders as she moved in the swing a little, scottâs comforting hand on her back which was now sort off around her waist making her sure she wasnât going to fall as she moved a tiny bit closer to him on her swing. their swings touching a little.
âyou deserve better then jean-y bitch.â she managed out lowly, scott not being able to help the chuckle that escaped his lips at how she put it as he looked out at the mansion in front of them. the moon present in his red tinted glasses.
âyeahâ iâm starting to realise that.â he chuckled out as y/n gave him a drunken smile in return as she locked eyes with scott. someone sheâd hardly noticed was this nice mostly due to the words logan remarked about him all the time as her smile couldnât help but grow as she looked at him. the air softening between the two as y/n felt tiredness fall over her as she leant against the chains a little as she slowly moved her gaze over to the moon.
a few moments of silence passes before scott spoke up.
ây/n?â scott managed out trying to grab her attention as he saw he eyes wondering a bit. his eyebrows furrowing when he heard no answer in return, her silence scaring him as he nudged her.
ây/n?â he quickly said out once again, nudging her a little as he saw how limp her body was and noticed her closed eyes.
âfuckâ y/n.â he ushered out quickly as he stood from his seat and went right to her side as he kneeled down, tapping her face to try and catch her attention. y/n stirring a little at his action as he stood up, pulling her up with him as he placed his hand around her waist as he tried to shake her a little which did the job as her eyes fluttered open to meet his own.
a drunken smile joining on her lips as a tear dropped down her cheek that she didnât even notice as she chuckled a little, leaning close to him as she swayed a little.
âscott.â she said lowly as scott gave her a low chucke as she placed her arm around him drunk on, him wiping the tear of her cheek softly something heâd done a number of times since being in her presence tonight.
âokay itâs time to go sleepâ im taking you to bed.â he explained softly as y/n looked at him with a little furrowed brow as he started to walk, helping her walk alongside him her hardly even able to realise she was walking as she leaned against his touch.
âyouâre good.â he said calmly to her as they walked through the dark courtyard, the illuminated by the moon field of grass between them and the bustling school /xmansion being the only light to guide them. his grip on her tightening softly when she nearly tripped over her own feet, a low chuckle escaping his lips as he realised just how long of a walk it was to the mansion. him sighing as he held her upright. ânearly there.â he muffled out as y/n leaned to him.
âââm gonna be sick.â she quickly flushed out before throwing her head over in the other direction as scott patted her back and stopped in his tracks at her words as she was sick again â him holding the urge got to be sick too because the smell as he focused on helping her. his heart skipping a beat bit as he felt his anger growing over logan putting her in this situation where she was so drunk she was being sick or the fact that she was being sick just thinking about logan it made his blood boil as he felt his jaw clench â his eyebrows twitching as he helped her get it all out, whispering little comforts as he soothed her back.
âgood girl. â he said lowly as y/n brung her gaze into him once more him giving her a small sad smile as he placed his hand back around her waist to guide her, âcmon, bed.â he whispered out to her as they started walking again. having to go through the party definitely going to be a difficult task as scott tightened his grip around her waist as they walked past a couple people hanging around the outside area of the building as the music met y/nâs ears as once they got into the building scott called for people to move out the way as he made y/n stay close to him. her eyes wondering over everyone in her drunken haze as scott helped her over to the staircase which was through a couple wide, filled rooms.
her swearing she came across wade and hank in the corner with two twins and colossusâs doing a certain something to wade, her eyebrows furrowing at what she believed to have just seen as she shook it off as she met scottâs words.
âyou need to be carried or are you okay?â scott asked as if he was babying her which sent a wave of comfort through her body as she let the question hang in her brain as she tried to form answer to it as she leaned herself against scott.
ââuââi canââ
âscarlett?â logan roughly called out in a raised voice towards scott as he came over out of nowhere. scott rolling his eyes as he quickly picked y/n up, y/n being in scottâs arms as her eyes fluttered open to see logan to the side of them. scottâs jaw immediately clenching as he continued up the stairs without cracking a word to logan as he rushed after the pair. his own anger frustratingly high as he tried to control himself and stop himself from doing anything stupid.
âscott?â logan said harshly, his anger growing as he didnât get an answer as he tried to get the man to look at him.
âlo-â y/n slipped out, her voice muffled as she leaned into scottâs arms more as he carried her bridal style up the stairs. her realising his presence, loganâs eyes casting onto y/n and then back to scott. his eyes darkening.
âwhat have you done to her?!â logan rushed out, his voice cracking with worry as scott ignored his words as he made it to the top of the stairs and continued on down to where heâs pretty sure her room is.
âscott!â logan shouted again trying to get his attention as scott opened the door with his back, giving logan a harsh glare as he walked right over to the bed where he placed y/n down carefully on it. her drunken self pouring the cover over her figure as she rolled over in bed. letting out a little muffled whimper as her head laid on the pillow.
the second scott having let go off y/n he immediately turned to logan scott not giving logan another chance to talk before he connected his fist with his jaw, logan been taken aback a little as he raised an eyebrow, scott looking right at him as logan pushed him back harshly.
âwhat the fuck did you do?â logan cursed out quickly, scott scoffing as he held back taking his glasses off because of the fact it was a party, not loganâs funeral even despite how much he wanted it to be.
âyou should ask yourself that, prick.â scott said harshly. loganâs eyebrows raising at his words as scott pushed himself past logan without another word.
logan immediately grabbing scottâs arm harshly, his claws aching to come out as he met his gaze.
âwhat do you mean by that?â logan said quickly, his eyes locked onto scottâs as so many questions flowed his brain. his thoughts enlaced with y/n and the worry he had for the girl as scott harshly brung his hand back to his side after shaking loganâs grip off â giving logan a stern look as he looked him up and down judgementally, âgod, you are so stupid. youâd think being born in the 19th century would make you slightly smarter then a twenty nine year old.â scott scoffed out lowly, his words only angering logan more as he shoved scott against the wall.
his claws extending as he pressed them close to his throat â his threat there as scott swallowed.
âtell me.â he said harshly as scott couldnât help a certain look cross his face. completely frustrated by logan, his heart aching for jean in this moment as he stared at what she had clearly picked over himself that enraging him yet also y/n and what she had just gone through herself. the heart ache something he could relate too and he wouldnât wish that on anyone. yet right now he would logan however.
âshe saw you and jean you idiot. meaning i did too. meaningâ fuck you.â scott said quickly as he clicked his visor getting the right aim, logan jumping back as scott lazered his chest. his beam going right through as a loud grunt escaped his lips as logan in immediate retaliation clawed scott in the side, scott pushing back the whimper threatening to leave his lips as logan as he got ready to take another shot at the man.
logan raising his eyebrow as the two stared eachother down, âiâll heal,â logan rolled out his words only angering scott worse as he went to raise his glasses again as logan roughly placed his hand on his chest to stop him, his claws retracted back in.
âi wish you wouldnât.â scott bit out harshly as logan scoffed at his words, keeping his anger limited as he rolled his eyes.
âjean only needed someone to talk tooââ
âyou mean fuck.â scott said out harshly, jean crossing loganâs mind as his jaw clenched his gaze darkening as he couldnât bring himself to shake his head. not that he was thinking about scottâs feelings â right now his mind pondering on another.
scott saw how logan couldnât even fight back with words â tutting as he pushed him back. loganâs hands falling to his side as the two didnât break eye contact.
âyou know weâre engaged.â scott spit out like venom, his words causing a look of surprise to wash over loganâs face as his mouth fell open, âwell we were.â he added out.
âyou wereâ what?â logan fumbled out, confusion written on his face as scott rolled his eyes at his reaction. not that he cared deep down, but it felt like he did right now.
âgreat.. she didnât tell you. like she didnât tell anyone,â he said lowly, ânot that it makes it any better what youâve done,â scott casted out as a few seconds finding passed as he tried to find the words which only come out anger filled, âsheâs a caniving cheating bitch.â scott cursed out, logan not bringing himself to react to the words scott ushered about jean as he looked at scott.
logan was about to say something to scott when the sound of y/nâs soft little snores filled the room which made the tension even higher as scott and logan glared at eachother.
âmaybe just think next time before you fuck someone elseâs girl, again.â scott managed out as he pushed past logan to leave the room.
âi donât think sheâs your girl.â logan called back out before he left as scottâs jaw clenched at his words as he opened the door.
ânot anymore. you can have her.â he said harshly as he paused as he knew he had to say something.
ââjust think about how y/n feels, because i know hurts.â scott spoke lowly as he left without another word clearly implying a certain fact.
logans heart skipped a beat at his words as the door shut behind scott, his mind feeling as if it was in a war as the tension built in the room immediately. the air feeling thick as he swallowed his own spit not bringing himself to call something back to him as his words couldnât even bring themselves to form right in his brain yet alone out loud.
his eyes dawned back onto the sleeping girl y/n laying there. looking so soft and innocent, completely sound asleep and his heart couldnât help twang a little as he bit down on the inside of his cheek â many bustling thoughts cursing his brain as he wished he had never thought of them.
his mind lingering on the thought of jean and what just occurred within him and scott as he came down from the pain that was inflicted on him his chest rising rapidly to a more normal flow as he healed. as he focused his gaze on y/n as he furrowed his eyebrows over what scott had said, trying to wrap his brain around it.
loganâs eyes dawning on y/n. guilt seeping through him as he felt his heart gain that aching feeling y/n had been riddled with since the day she first realised she was in love with the man as he sat on the foot of the bed. his mind feeling melted as he placed his hand on her own his big, gruff and rough feeling hand taking the soft touch of her hand into his own grip. her hand being half if not less of his size as he soothed her. her touch being another level of comfort he didnât recall experiencing since he was a young boy that feeling sending memories flooding through his brain he couldnât focus on now.
feeling all the emotions boiling up heâd been fighting to push down as he looked down at her asleep body. what was all of this? she had been distant, almost rude and very cold and scottâs words were making that why question he had on his mind for the past two weeks clearer.
the implication of scottâs words hung in his mind as he looked at her. him eventually bringing himself over to the spare place next to her in the bed not wanting to leave her alone for the night too worried about how drunk she was and if anything could happen in the night.. or anyone else drunkily walking in. but he couldnât help deep down in knowing that those were just excuses to stay within her presence. asleep or not.
carefully building a gap between the two of them as he laid down â no matter how strong the urge to hug her and comfort her was â as he let out a rough exhale as he closed his eyes.
only to open them three seconds later to look at her. his eyes not leaving her peacefully asleep body for the rest of the night.
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