#but in Florida it is completely fucked
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women in Florida should just stop having sex with men. since we aren’t allowed to make decisions about our bodies, why should we risk our safety for someone who doesn’t even think we deserve rights… I urge all the women in Florida to fuck each other and fuck themselves (affectionately)
#57% of the people think we deserve the rights to our body#we needed 60% for it to count for anything#and that itself is fucked#I’m not well versed on what the abortion laws are in other states#but in Florida it is completely fucked#btw I don’t like using the binary terms but I mean anyone who has the reproductive organs to become pregnant**
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Going to be making stickers and posters and spreading this around my town hopefully soon. the green square is going to have a QR code that will have a bunch of resources and ways to help. Iv gathered some of my own but if anyone has resources they think would be helpful or have suggestions on ways to best do this (its just me and my sister) id really appreciate the help.
#my art#landback#i hope this goes well#i want to sell these as stickers so others can spread these around with information as well and i want to donate that money#i also would be totally cool if people just printed these themselves to spread awareness no need for credit like#idk trying to figure out the best way to do this#ill post the version w the QR once i get all of the resources gathered#or if anyone has an already completed list that would be amazing! i want 2 be able 2 do this asap when the crazy tourist traffic comes thru#central florida you arent allowed to pretend nothing is happening anymore#free palestine#free congo#free all of us man im so sick of seeing indigenous people die over stupid shit. colonization in 2024 is fucking insane
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hi maffhew and ellie watching the game together!
los angeles dodgers @ st louis cardinals | 8.18.24
#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#look at the nerd all decked out#he was so excited for this oh my god#also his legs are in completely different continents#girl have some couth!#thats a manspread and a half#egregious is what it is#CLOSE EM!!#matthew squinting at the field yeah same#this was when the van chose to cut to matthew as the casters were talking about the tkachuks#and then showy literally hits a solo homer the next second after this#and they have to stop and the booth gets so silent as he does his trot and they have to call it its so funny#matthew sensed what was gonna happen next#and i mean meatball straight down the middle to showy?? mr golfswinger??? what the fuck did you think was gonna happen#yeah he was gonna launch that lmaooooooo#curve did not curve at all and gray got PUNISHED LMAOOOO
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Rant alert about silly ppl being mean and hurtful about the hurricanes in the south and Florida right now
This hurricane is actually breaking my heart, I thought people were insensitive and horrible about Gaza (they are and it is so fucking horrible) but seeing the comments these adults leave? Omg “you’ll die if you don’t evacuate.. kids run away all the time but the second it’s a little scary suddenly it’s “my family won’t let me leave”
The teenage!!! Girl (op) was saying her family wanted to not evacuate, but she was trying to convince them. They got into a back and forth and the adult!! Said “if you are in the path you’re gonna die. You should leave.”
SHE DIDNT WANT TO LEAVE HER FAMILY TO DIE??? Do you not have any brain?
Yes I know it’s rage bait but omfg when did we decide that views and attention in comments was worth hurting people? And holy cow im so sick of people saying “why don’t you prepare” “you should’ve left, stupid southerners” LIKE ???
Did we all leave the things we learned way back in 2020 (hopefully school too) somewhere on the road? Like this rhetoric of liberals (in blue states) saying that the people, average Joe people, are at fault and need to pull themselves up by the bootstraps? It’s so disgusting.
Most of them are also white, and when ppl in their comment section call them out, they argue endlessly? Like I feel a pit of despair opening up that will swallow literally everything bc these liberals don’t know how to have any fucking empathy
#guys I’m actually going crazy#like I’m a history major and I had a lot of passion for learning about politics so I don’t know if like it’s not common knowledge that the#south has been like completely fucked over by its legislators (who do the ducking for money and money only mind you)#like remember when Texas FROZE and so many ppl said you voted for this haha#flashbacks#like these hurricanes are UNPRECEDENTED#THE BIGGEST OUR ATMOSPHERE WILL ALLOW#but yeah just prepare#um actually why do you live in Florida… why didn’t you buy stuff before if you know hurricanes happen#PLEASE THINK OMG#rage bait works so what#genuinely no clue how these people sleep knowing they rage baited for attention about a HISTORICAL event in which many will be injured
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I’m going to fucking lose it why is it so hot
#the world is slowly ending around us and we see the signs and they’re there but we can’t do anything about it#my brother said it’s not gonna get colder until fucking january.#a hurricane completely destroyed multiple towns over near florida or smth#there’s records being broken regarding the weather every fucking year and they’re just getting worse and fucking worse#im fucking tired I just want to wear warmer clothes I just want to wear that jacket I got almost a year ago and those sweaters I never wear#I want to be fucking comfortable in my skin without having to sit in front of a fan I want to live without hearing about how many people’s#lives are being ruined and changed forever all over the fucking planet because of how awful it’s gotten#and we can’t do shit!!!!!! because it’s fucking happening because of like 50 guys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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every day i thank my lucky stars that i got to grow up in colorado before moving to arizona bc i know so many people who have lived here their whole lives and it is so fucking sad to me that they never got to experience a snow day in elementary school
#also BASEMENTS??? nobody has a fucking basement here (no one i know at least) bc the ground is too hard and dry#i had a finished basement as a kid and it was THE place for sleepovers movie nights video games etc#i was also an absolute fiend for american girl dolls and i had a little corner dedicated to all their furniture and stuff#and my sisters and i had this barbie playhouse tent thing like where else would that make sense but a basement?#OH and my grandma had a room under the stairs in her basement which was everything to me as a kid completely obsessed with harry potter#like damn my az friends truly have no idea what they missed out on#tbf they all had pools in their backyards which is crazy to a lot of people who don’t live in places like az florida california etc#but my grandma had a pool in colorado so i got that too#if you ignore all the mental illness and trauma my childhood was amazing like holy shit feeling ✨grateful✨#anyway if you never had a snow day as a kid you have my deepest condolences#lj.txt
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year six of being salty that around halfway through RoS the writers went 'shit we accidentally wrote five way too sympathetic and reasonable, and he is rapidly going through a redemption arc. quick shove in random serial killer shit out of nowhere without explanation, which completely contradicts his character and its development up til then. wait fuck he's redemption arcing EVEN HARDER in FoT. shit shit shit okay just make him hannibal lecter'
#lorien legacies#LL number five#LL crit tag#the crit files#five hurting people is something he consistently has to work himself up toward by turning them into an Object of Hatred#and/or having someone else encourage him to do so#because hurting people /fucks him up/ even when he hates them#and after that has hit its breaking point of emotional intensity he just. stops wanting to hurt them#wants to help them or at least for them to be alright in fact; even when they've treated him horrifically#and when that breaking point results in doing irreversible harm he regrets it SO MUCH#he has to spend a month dissociating and keeping himself busy every waking hour not to break the fuck down over what he did to ethan#and he DOES break the fuck down over killing eight#like even if he thought well of eight in particular by comparison he's been stoked up to hate the other garde in general#which leads pretty quickly to regret and total lack of malice toward the garde after the showdown in florida#he is completely broken over it#even /nine/ he loses 'i want this person hurt' animosity toward after florida. in fact animosity at all that we see after that initial#monologue over eight's body; where he's having his big moment of realizing he has more hatesinking to regret than just hurting eight#and he doesn't say he wants nine to suffer. he just says it wasn't worth helping him because he thinks he'd just throw it away#the only time we see him kill someone and not seem too fucked up about it is when it's a mog soldier who presumably knew what he was#signing up for; and was literally swinging a sword at five's head#five fucks me up because at heart he just does not have real malice in him. if he is feeling it something has gone terribly wrong#not as in ~lol of course it has he's crazy~ but as in 'if you supposedly feel fine but are under so much stress that you're having constant#shakes and heart palpitations that is not your default state of being; you are being bent in half and you're eating yourself'#so them randomly going uhmmm ACTUALLY he's a BLOODTHIRSTY SADISTIC SERIAL KILLER who carves his number into a rando's chest#for no reason; and lets people regenerate rather than kill them so he can savor hacking them apart over and over; and drools over murdering#as many people as he can including two random mog guards that happened to be in him and ella's way is like. fuck off lmao#even if you try to go with him turning the mogs into a hatesink for what they've done he would go into a breakdown spiral as soon as it#resulted in killing someone and actually seeing them suffer. the other exception to this that we see before the character assassination#started was deltoch but i do feel like there's an explanation there; it doesn't feel Jarring; but will have to think about it#anyway five has some great moments in UaO but it's really frustrating trying to pick through the bullshit for Actual Characterization
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The dickheads celebrating youth under 16 being banned from social media in Florida are never the same people fighting to keep third spaces alive and funded. They’re just selfish adults who see children as a burden and think “out of sight out of mind” means problems go away.
Everyone wants to complain and poke fun at how the younger generations are “strange” and aren’t socialized properly but don’t put in the effort to actually talk to children and even rejoice when the few opportunities they had to talk to people are taken from them. This is fascism and if you think the government will stop at populations you deem annoying and disposable you’re dead fucking wrong
The government is feigning concern for children’s safety while rolling back child labor laws and banning books that help children communicate when they’re being abused and some of yalls dumbasses are falling for it. Banning youth from social media is not a win, don’t treat it as such
#it’s not law yet and I hope it doesn’t pass but the bill getting this far is devastating to begin with#I’m genuinely kinda fucked up about this cause I can’t imagine being a child rn#gay ppl on the internet raised me#I lived in Florida once upon a time#I’m only a few years removed from this type of legislation completely ruining my life#florida#if the schools are funded#the parks are flatted for parking lots#the libraries are defunded#after school programs are nonexistent#where tf else are kids supposed to go that won’t charge them money???
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Something I've noticed from subbing to just a couple of very small patreons (like fewer than 50 members) is how SHY people are about talking to the creator that they are paying! What's up with that? I wonder if it's because most of these patrons come via tumblr, where there is the culture of talking in the tags/reblogs and comments being your "outdoor voice"/basically it being RUDE to talk to people.
I think that's fucked up, especially in the context of artists (just to be clear every time I say artists that is inclusive of writers). Like these are people that are making a thing and showing it to you, they don't just want silent nods of approval by way of reblogs/likes. They want FEEDBACK. They want CONNECTION. I think a fundamental part of creating and sharing art is the goal of connection. And I don't think people realize how truly disheartening it is to post something and then get completely silent likes/reblogs.
For the love of God they are TALKING TO YOU. TALK BACK!!!!
#i love you arts-i-enjoy where i can post thoughts direct from my brain and trust that no one will ever see it 😌#this post brought to you by: me#i get we're on tumblr where most of the interactions we see are people saying the most batshit things#but literally just be nice and respectful and i swear to you i promise you people will be happy you commented#talking in the tags is good!!! i do that a lot on art and stuff! but also on platforms like ao3 or patreon where the only option is comment#DO THAT. THAT IS WAY BETTER THAN NOTHING.#maybe im projecting but i Always love it when people talk to me as long as they are kind#i just. think we could be nicer to each other. and make each other happier#also thinking about the times ive trained people are my job and my friend who is a Trainer for their job#and how absolutely soul crushing it is to talk and talk and know that people are there and are choosing not to talk back to you#like the people in training that just. laugh at my dumb little light hearted comment. i owe them everything#oof throw back to the day i spent 8 hours training 15 people in a class together and i think the whole time 2 of them came of mute ever#destroy your voice and also your enthusiasm with this one easy 8 hour trick! you will want to sleep for three days!#god im such a fucking people person how did i ever think i was a hardcore “”“”introvert“”“”#nooo baby youre just completely socially isolated and depressed meet some people you actually like and you will see the light baby girl#this week is gonna fucking kill me. my last local friends are moving to a different state. im gonna be alone. in florida#gahhhhhhhhh#anyways yeah talk to people about the stuff they make itll enrich both of you <3
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Just found out that my lesbian older sister and her wife support Ron DeSantis and even my mom (who almost always plays devil’s advocate in these cases) is like “bitch what the fuck”
#mine#personal#she lives in Florida with her wife and my niece#and I’m just like#what the actual fuck is wrong with you#she’s a self proclaimed liberal too#which like that’s a completely different issue but I digress#I’m just sitting here like#you fucking know that I am an agender woman#you fucking know that#and still you support a man that actively wants me dead#and you pretend to care about me as if these aren’t facts???#fucking have the life you deserve tbh#idk I’m rambling now
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Okay, so who knows how to make money when you can hardly move your body?
Especially in a place that is very unlikely to care about accommodating disabilities…
I think I’m going to drop dead one of these days.
I feel like such absolute TrashDookieGarbage.
I don’t think I’m suicidal.
I’m honestly too squeamish about it, and also I’m convinced that I would probably fail at that anyway, since that’s all I ever seem to be able to do, so why even bother trying, ya know?
But my body is just going to stop.
Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck.
Fuck.
#I’m being carted off to Florida once again#damn my mental illness#and damn my ex#i can’t believe he rescinded his offers of help#I can’t believe he kept everything in until it blew up our relationship#I warned him very specifically about that when we met#like you have to tell me if something is bothering you#or I will not know#and then to not help me because I couldn’t get out within a single month#like even fully able bodied neurotypicals would struggle with that#I have been Completely Destroyed by it#like I’m so physically weak I have been having to take baths instead of showers#I took a shower last week and almost passed out#I have absolutely no physical or emotional energy#and while I am grateful I have people who will help me not be literally homeless#being with my mother is The Worst Thing For ME#she has zero ability to change her behavior#she promises she will be respectful of my personal space and feelings#and then puts on Fox News the second we get to the hotel#and tells me ‘don’t be triggered’#and then that I am ‘an ugly person’ for being upset about it#normally I am able to hold back how I actually feel about her when I’m around her#but I do not have that ability right now#and she just knows exactly the wrong thing to say#to push my buttons like her name is Joe and she works in a button factory#I just seriously can’t fucking handle it#while I was being extremely dramatic on a phone call with my brother and step dad#the immediate dismissal from Every Single One of them#of my expressal of distress about how mom literally abused me#just 😑😑😑😑😑
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Sense I shared a pic from my recent trip to the DWA I thought I’d show you guys this picture I took of their South American(can’t recall the exact species sorry) smooshing it’s face.
There was also the worlds most gravidest seahorse but I forgot to take a photo of him sadly.
#this fuckin manatee. this guy was easily twice the size of a Florida one#and was like. almost completely cylindrical.#my mom(who is from south Florida) was so confused until we looked at the signage and learned that it wasn’t a Florida manatee lmao#but oooohhh my god that fucking seahorse#he was SO Pregnant. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more pregant animal#I’ll have to see if I have video of him I can screencap#if not I’ll draw an artists depiction
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finnish cats shenanigans are always my favourite but especially on sasha cup day with the cup involved the hijinks ramp up to 100 lmaooo
"wheres my- (realising sasha is in front of him and quickly stutters to change it to our so he doesnt get wacked over the head) wheres our names?"
(luosty proceeds to cackle in the bg like the shit stirrer he is realising lundys slip of the tongue and if he noticed sasha definitely noticed)
"wheres my name? wheres my name ☺️?" and it was at that moment lundy knew he fucked up
it never ceases to endlessly entertain me how much of a punk lundy can be and im so glad sasha is here to put him in his place because sheesh this kid sometimes XD
"and then luosty but i didnt want to give it to him but he took it" eh? is that so? who couldve guessed???
environmental storytelling, captain said haha okay mine now its mine let go ☺️💢
Sasha Cup Day | 7.31.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#anton lundell#eetu luostarinen#florida panthers#the dynamic between sasha and lundy is so entertaining#lundy is just a little punk#a sincere one but a punk all the same#i too would go your name huh haha what about MY name wheres my name you little punk ☺️💢#the complete stutter stop he made like ooooo lundy knew he fucked up so bad#luostys CACKLE makes this scene it truly does like oh your dumb friend is gonna get in trouble with the teacher#and you can do nothing but relish the downfall for his own idiocy#true besties#kills me luosty goes missed ya 😃 to the cup like its his long lost lover#BOTH LUNDY AND LUOSTY IMMEDIATELY NEEDING TO KISS AND HOLD MISS TINCAN THEY HAVE BEEN SO DEPRIVED OF HER 😭😭😭#sasha dry humour and delivery is so perfect it really elevates the emotionality of his lines hes so fucking funny#sasha whats it like to be the funniest bitch here
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accidents | Spencer Reid x Reader
Summary: during a long case away, Spencer accidentally sees Reader's nudes on her phone and can't cope because he is a MESS for reader whoops [5.5k]
Warnings: SMUT MDNI, 18+ only, fem!reader, fluff, some angst mainly Spencer doubting himself aww :(, Spencer is PINING for you hard (haha get it), nudes, Spencer loves you so much, pls someone give him a hug, m!masturbation, talk about sex, proofread but prolly not perfect lol, like you aren't probably ready for the amount of longing in this, *slaps Spencer* this bad boy can fit so much pining and yearning
read pt.II here
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Spencer swears it was an accident.
You were all away on a case, somewhere in Florida. And of course, something like that can only happen in Florida, because as much as he dislikes connecting random events with random locations, non-sequitur fallacy and all that, he cannot not say that many of his most embarrassing moments aren’t attributable to the south-eastern state. (He will not elaborate on these moments, he very much likes to keep most of his dignity still intact, thank you very much.)
But his dignity isn’t really the only thing that had been shattered to pieces by… by the accident. Far from it really and it- well, it- God, this really won’t end well for him, will it? He’s well and truly, as Emily likes to say, fucked.
It happened on the fourth day he and the team were cooped up in a small, dingy police station, chasing down an unsub that liked to paint intricate body art on the victim’s corpses as part of his MO. Aside from, y’know, slitting their throats with what seemed to be an old, rusty saw. The paradoxical duality of these two aspects, of the interplay of carefulness and diligence put into the painting process and the absolute careless way the unsub ends his victims was fascinating really – but not as much as it is disturbing, still.
Thus, this case is a very photography-heavy one. Most of the cases they solve involve photographs of some kinds of course, but Spencer has never sat in front of quite as many pictures of art and gore in his life before. It was strange, to say the least, even to him. Strange and annoying, to be honest.
Because Spencer isn’t exactly fond of all things that come with some electrical inner life, i.e. smartphones, his old brick of a phone isn’t exactly helpful for this case. He still feels the need to roll his eyes at Garcia after she, for the umpteenth time, called him an old grandpa and his phone a potato trying to pass as a phone. And failing miserably, especially when looking at the pictures it takes and their quality. Well, Penelope would say “pictures”, because she would also say that a resolution of beneath 60 PPI should be considered a war crime against modern technology, but Spencer doesn’t know and doesn’t want to know what that even means, so. Jokes on her.
Well, actually, the joke is on him. And yes, he knows, the joke is almost always on him, he knows his pipe-cleaner physique and too big eyes and long hair and everything about him really, makes him the perfect target for the occasional bullying he gets still as an adult, but he’s used to that. It’s normal, part of his everyday life. He can deal with that (more or less).
What he so brilliantly cannot deal with however, is having you around him almost 24/7. Because Hotch had had the amazing idea of fixing you to his hip as his personal photographer to circumvent his technological potato-problem. Uh- not that you, that you take pictures of him, why would you ever do that, but more like, taking pictures for him. Of their victims. And the body art.
Spencer was actually waiting for your protest, because there seems to be nothing worse for you than to stay inside the office when you could be out there, on the fields, in midst of all the action. Where Spencer usually isn’t. But that’s fine of course. Completely, absolutely fine. Spencer doesn’t look up every time the door to the tiny room he’s set up his camp in opens to see if it’s you bringing him another coffee just the way he likes, if it’s your smile that will make him feel more energized than any overly sweet coffee ever could. If it’s your voice and smell and aura (Penelope is definitely getting into his head) that for the short while you are there, makes everything seem so much more manageable.
It’s an energy burst unlike any other and Spencer is aware of what that means, so aware his body burns with it sometimes… Often. Okay, fine, most of the time. He just prefers to ignore it and enjoy the precarious friendship he built with you for what it is because he just likes to have you around so very much and – this was so not the point he wanted to make. He’s hopeless, when it comes to you, and it really is kind of embarrassing.
So, this is why the joke is so entirely on him that it’s not even a joke anymore. It’s basically bullying, he feels bullied. Because you actually had beamed the prettiest smile he’s ever seen at him, said ‘Oh finally, I can unpack all the dark hidden talents from within me’ which was so cryptic but so you and then you also winked at him. And well, Spencer has to lie if he were to say that he was being totally normal about this. That you didn’t just upheave his insides like an earthquake of magnitude eight with a single wink. Oh, he’s in so much trouble.
The first two days the two of you work side by side proceed without any unforeseen occurrences. And Spencer is so glad about that he could cry. From the moment you had joined the team two years ago, from the moment he met you, it was an undeniable fact that you were nice. Not only that, but truly, selflessly kind in a way that has left him all too choked up to even speak on multiple occasions now. The team is nice to Spencer, of course they are, they’re his family. But nothing in the entire world could have adequately prepared him to the spring of kindness you so freely distribute to anyone willing to receive it. And god, Spencer is willing. Is it every time you listen to him ramble on and on, unable to really hold his tongue despite the embarrassment clouding his cheeks darker. Is it every time you ask him about the book he’s reading, every time you ask him how his mother is doing and just- all these tiny things that add up and completely smush his brain into a fuzzy mess of warmth that leaks down his body.
He literally could spend every minute of every day just sitting next to you and soak up your presence and he would be the happiest person alive. That’s why he cherishes your friendship to him so strongly, and that’s why it’s the worst thing that Spencer is, well, himself.
He knows that you would probably be too nice to outright state that something he does unsettles you. Changes the way you think about him. Still. There is the worry. Buried so deep in his mind it’s as if he was born with it. And that’s why he’s so relieved that he is keeping the worst of the ‘Reid effect’ at bay while working with you on this twisted painter case.
It all goes well, until it doesn’t. Of course. Good things never seem to last for Spencer.
It’s already later in the afternoon on the fourth day you are working the case, no end in sight, unfortunately. Spencer is bend over the table, hands entwined in front of his mouth as he’s staring down the printed pictures of the unsub’s latest victim from three days ago. The brushstrokes seem remarkably stable, the colours uncannily vibrant. Spencer does not know much about art, but he does recognise talent when he sees it. And this unsub seems to have it in abundance. It’s almost a shame he’s a deranged killer. But oh well.
He jumps in his seat when the door to his room abruptly bangs open and a dishevelled looking you is bustling into the room.
Your expression turns apologetic. “Oh Spencer, shit, sorry. I didn’t wanna startle you, but they just found another victim.”
And oh. Spencer feels his heart sink in his chest. Guilt tugging it further down into the abyss. Why wasn’t he faster with figuring out these paintings?
“Really? Where?”
You immediately launch into a rapid-fire list of details, all in the wrong order because you do tend to be a bit all over the place. Spencer doesn’t mind. Gives him a bit more of a challenge to order the information in his brain the way it works for him. You two work surprisingly well in that regard.
While talking, you round the desk that almost takes up all the little space available in the room. You sit in the chair next to him, so close he can feel the stressed warmth radiating from you and it takes a very good portion of his brain’s capacity to stop his hand from reaching out. Or do something else even stupider. More stupid? Oh hell. It’s a wonder he can talk in complete sentences with you.
He watches you pull out your phone, fingers typing in the passcode he guessed right after two weeks of knowing you. The indignant expression on your face had been adorable. That’s why he still guesses your new passwords weekly, just to mess with you a little bit. Because he’s apparently insane like that.
“Here”, you turn the display of your phone towards him, “Precinct’s out of ink. Do you mind looking at the pictures on my phone until I come back from the store?”
This is where Spencer should have said no. Declined politely, smile on his face. Tell you that sorry, I don’t really get the same detail on screen like on a printed version. Should’ve emigrated to Tristan da Cunha, change his name to Ferdinand. Whatever. Anything, except say, “Oh, of course. That’s no trouble.”
You smile that breathtaking smile of yours, fingers touching his slightly while giving him your phone. Spencer sucks his lower lip between his teeth to keep himself from making any kind of noise at the tingly feeling skittering down his back.
He can’t not smile back at you. It’s one of his many weaknesses. Jello, trying to out-solve himself every day with New York Times’ new crossword puzzles, dairy. Halloween themed socks. Old obscure movies no one has ever heard of. Reading the most difficult books in twenty minutes. You.
Once you left, Spencer starts diligently going through the photographs of their latest victim. Not yet identified white male. Average height, average weight. Short-buzzed sandy brown hair. Striking blue eyes that seem to stare at him accusingly even after death.
He works through approximately forty pictures taken off the intricate and detailed body art. This time, the unsub left many smaller paintings woven in a bigger, overall painting. There’s still one that Spencer hasn’t seen a close up of, that’s kind of hidden behind the victim’s ears. Maybe you saved it to a different folder. He clicks around your gallery for some time, opening and closing folders full of holiday pictures. Pictures of you, smiling, at the beach. A folder full of memes that he doesn’t get but is familiar with because you keep sending them to him anyways. Spencer is aware that he probably shouldn’t have just- perused your gallery like that. But he was in case-mode. Hyper-focused on finding the next clue, on detangling the next hint that would bring them further. That would finally be the key to end this case and bring justice to all the victims.
He isn’t really thinking, when he clicks on a folder titled ‘xxx lol’. Thinks it’s another one full of memes because of the abbreviation, but maybe you accidentally saved pictures of the case in there, wouldn’t be too out of character for you and-
Spencer sucks in a breath.
Drops your phone almost as an afterthought. The noise of it clattering to the table makes him flinch.
It lands display down. Small mercies and all that.
And Spencer is- he is-
… That was not-
Not -
There’s a weird buzzy feeling in his limbs, his chest and head. Like his blood turned into a swarm of bees. He feels like someone dumped a bucket of ice over his head and like he’s on fire simultaneously.
Okay. Okay.
That was not- pictures of the case.
Definitely not.
Oh Jesus Christ.
Spencer was definitely not supposed to see. That. Not supposed to see you- like that. Ever.
His heart is totally beating itself into a frenzy. There are at least two litres of blood rushing to his head. The other four are gathering somewhere down down down and oh. Oh shit.
Spencer is actually fucked. More than that. He wants to get fucked and that’s. Just. Even worse.
He wants to scream.
He ends up biting his knuckles and letting out a frustrated noise against his fingers.
Did he really.
Did he really just see your nudes?
(And yes, he knows that word. Penelope is a bad influence on him.)
His head is kind of a- a mess. More than usual when you are around. And… what. What does he do now? He can’t just- can’t just leave your phone like that. You’d obviously see what he was looking at and that’s just- unacceptable.
But the other option appears just as preposterous. Because, because, he’d have to look at your phone again. At you, like that, again. To get out of ‘xxx lol’. Damn you. Why did you have to be so unserious and name your, uhm, very personal folder like that? And no password-block?
Spencer feels a different kind of warmth enveloping him because it’s just- so you, silly and funny and kind of unbelievable and Spencer is so deeply in love with you that he feels like he’s going crazy with it. Of course, you’d be like that about stuff like that as well. Spencer would give everything to just once experience what it’d feel like to kiss you. To feel your lips twisted in a silly smile against his, flicking a finger at his ear because you would. Do that. When kissing someone. And okay. Okay. Spencer needs to get his shit together, like, yesterday.
You could come back any second now, actually and fuck. He needs to close the gallery app on your phone, asap.
His hands are trembling as they retrieve your phone from the table.
He allows himself a deep breath. And then. With eyes squeezed almost close, he taps the return arrow. Well, tries to. He thinks he managed to escape your nudes-folder without any hiccups but well.
Spencer is freaking inept with technology.
So. He finds himself looking at another picture of you and god, it actually might kill him.
It’s inappropriate. So so so so inappropriate. You would kill him dead if you ever knew Spencer was ogling your pictures like that. Like a perverted stalker.
But. But.
There shouldn’t even be a ‘but’.
But.
You’re just. You’re just- You’re incredible. Not even in a sexual way, just-
You’re so beautiful it hurts.
And call Spencer selfish, a pervert, whatever. Because he knows, okay? But he also knows that he’d never, ever get to see you like that. And it hurts in a different way now, because Spencer just wants. Wants you so much. You and you, just you.
But…he’d never get to have you. Which is fine, of course. Having you as a friend is actually one of the best things that ever happened to him, and he’d never do anything to endanger that-
…Well. He’s not perfect. So, sue him, for only once, giving into his deepest darkest desires. He’s only human. And pathetically in love with you. And attracted to you. Oh, he wants to be with you so badly. Wants to- wants to get kissed and held by you. Wants to make love with you, which just. Sounds so dumb and cliche. But maybe he just is that for you.
Still. He shouldn’t think how absolutely breathtaking you look, sprawled across the white linen of presumably your bed. He knew you worked out regularly, but. Spencer feels hot all over when he thinks how easily you could just. Manhandle him around. To wherever you wanted him. And this is something he apparently likes. (He consciously stores that information away for later. Later.)
He shouldn’t think how you would tease him, how you would make him beg for you before he’d even taken off his clothes. He would. He would beg for you, go on his knees. Everything, everything.
He shouldn’t think how warm and safe you’d make him feel, even after knowing he’s inexperienced in everything. You’d take his face in your hands, smile at him so beautifully he’d cry. Tell that ugly internalized shame to go ‘fuck off to Jupiter’.
Oh, he shouldn’t be looking at you like this. He shouldn’t, shouldn’t, shouldn’t.
But there’s always so much he shouldn’t do. Friends shouldn’t think of other friends like that. Friends don’t imagine how it would feel to be taken apart and put together again by their friend. Friends shouldn’t want to touch, touch, touch-
Maybe, for once, he just. Has enough of that. Maybe, he could just. Indulge. For a minute. To know what it’d be like. Just. A little.
To know what it’d be like if this picture was meant for him. What it’d be like- Be like to see you. And for you to see him. Like that. What it’d feel like to crawl into your lap, bury his face in your neck. Set his teeth on the gentle skin there and hear you gasp for him. How you’d bury your hands in his hair, and he’d make the most miserable noises until you pulled and-
Something in the corner of his eyes catches his attention and- shit.
Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit.
That’s you. Walking towards the door.
His hands are shaking so badly he has difficulties navigating your phone. But thankfully, this time, he manages to leave ‘xxx lol’ and find his way back to the evidence folder.
Oh god.
Oh god.
Did he actually- He actually-
The door springs open. Spencer startles kind of violently.
(Oh god.)
You have a big grin on your face. Some magenta ink smutched across your left cheek. And Spencer knows what you look like without-
“Heya, Spence, you won’t believe what just happened-“
(Oh god.)
“Uh… you okay there?”
His face feels like it’s on fire. His heartbeat is spiking and, well. He’s never been quite this turned on his entire life. He feels himself hard and aching against his trousers and Spencer wants you to push him down on the table and-
Oh god oh god oh god oh god oh god-
He needs to- leave. Right now.
“Fine”, he squeaks, voice all over the place and he cringes, “Just-“
He wags his hands around in a very confusing, general manner. Grabs some photographs.
“I need to- Need to. Bathroom”, is all he somehow manages, photographs surely placed in front of his, ahhhh, problem.
You look at him as if he lost his mind. He probably has. “Oh-kay? Then… go?”
Spencer goes.
------------------------------
Spencer can’t stop thinking about those pictures.
He’d known it would come to this. Him, lying wide awake on the uncomfortable hotel bed.
Having an eidetic memory has never felt more like a curse to him as now.
He buries his head further into the pillow. Fingers digging into it. Pulling his legs closer to him and, ah. That. Probably wasn’t the greatest idea of his.
He’s still- turned on. Uncomfortably so.But just thinking of taking care of that. Well. He’s 100% sure that that’s not the way to go about forgetting these pictures.
Also, it’s bad enough already that he even saw them. It would be so much creepier to jerk himself off to them. To you. His best friend. But- ugh.
It’s always kind of uncomfy for him to be away on a case. He prefers his own four walls over anything else, kind of, except maybe the university library. And now, being sexually frustrated away on a case that requires even more focus than other cases do?
Oh, Spencer is so fucked.
------------------------------
You notice that something is off with him. It really would have been a miracle if not, because then Spencer would’ve had to question your profiling skills. But even then- he doesn’t think that you’d even need to have these skills to notice him acting off.
Because Spencer is so not the person to play incidents like that cool. He is painfully aware of that, thank you very much.
So, the next day, when you came to say hi to him (“Hey there, Mr. Doctor.”), after he basically ran off the day before, and you, as always, casually put your hand on his shoulder, Spencer, he-
He spit out his coffee.
He could feel you freeze through the hand on his shoulder. Your expression would’ve been comical if Spencer wasn’t dying.
“Uhh… Do you… Do you need a moment?”
Well, that was a freaking understatement. Spencer needs not a moment but all of them to try to get his act together.
…which he didn’t. Not for the rest of that day, and also not for the day after. And the day after. This case apparently will never end. Fucking Florida.
You, of course being the kind soul you are, tried talking to him.
(“Spencer, are you okay? You’ve been acting kinda-“
“What? What do you mean? I’m fine, completely.”
“Uhm… Sure. If you wanna talk about it, you got my number.”)
And well. Spencer feels like he is going insane.
It’s come down to him not being able to spend more than thirty minutes uninterrupted in your vicinity without getting semi-hard, because he knows. Without him almost doing something stupid and drop to his knees then and there and beg you to either forgive him or to please let him eat you out.
Ah, yes, because apart from being so frustrated he could scream, he’s also feeling so guilty it’s slowly killing him.
There you are, still being his absolute favourite person on the planet, unaware of what kind of person you are laughing with. Of what Spencer did. It was an accident yes, but- He should’ve said something. Maybe warned you so that it would not happen again. Ugh, but the more time passes the worse it gets. The more impossible it feels to just- go to you and say ‘ah, uhm, by the way, I saw your nudes and maybe you should put those behind a password block’.
Spencer is just- the worst friend. What friend doesn’t give their friend a heads-up about something like that? He’ so, hopeless, incompetent, and he gets it now why he didn’t have that many friends in school.
It’s gotten so bad so quickly that the others started noticing too, obviously. It really is a curse working with profilers. Spencer should reconsider his move to Tristan da Cunha.
“What’s got pretty boy so worked up, huh?”, Morgan asked him on the day after the incident.
“Did something happen, Spence?”, JJ pulled him aside on the second day after.
“Are they cancelling Doctor Who?”, Emily, on the first day after.
“Kid, you need to eat something”, as Rossi pressed a protein bar into his hands.
Even Penelope texted him.
is it what i think it is? ;))))))
He did not dignify her with an answer.
When Hotch comes to him on the evening on the second day after, Spencer is a mess. He’s practically spent the entire day in some state of fluster. He noticed he’s trailing off when he’s info-dumping. That he’s just- staring off into space more often than he usually does. That he can’t talk to you properly without stuttering, that he avoids looking you in the eyes. So, it really was only a matter of time until their unit chief would scold him. Or whatever Hotch is here to do.
“Listen, Reid”, he says, tone of voice a little too similar to when he is talking to Jack when he did something mildly inconvenient, “whatever it is, and I don’t want to know unless it’s something bad, deal with it. We need you with a clear head here, okay?”
And well, that could’ve gone a lot worse.
------------------------------
He still thinks so once he falls into bed that evening. But now-
Deal with it.
How? How should he deal with that? It’s not like he can just press the ‘Delete’-button in his memories. Thanks for nothing, Hotch.
His eyes strain from staring at the ceiling in the dark. Closing them doesn’t really help because all he’d see is you. He’s such a mess.
A pining, pathetic loser mess and he’s so hard again he can’t properly think. It’s just- Spencer has had rather inappropriate thoughts about you before. Has actually spent way too many hours in his apartment just lazing around, thoughts occupied on all the countless ways he’d like you to make him lose his goddamn mind. It had been kind of an accident (isn’t that just the story of his life), the first time it happened.
Spencer had almost been finished with his report, he’d just needed an additional detail from you to finish up. He’d asked Morgan where you were, and this is how he found himself walking down the corridor to Penelope’s ‘Dungeon’. Which, he’d never say out loud because that’s just ridiculous, right?
He saw the door to her office was slightly ajar, a mix of yellowish-red light splitting the hallway in half where it spilled out of the open gap.
There’s a giggle coming from inside the room and Spencer smiles- can’t help it really, because your laugh is just so absolutely ridiculous, a kind of high-pitched screech that ends in airy laughter and he’s so obsessed with it he wants to engrave it on a CD to listen to it again and again.
“No way, gorgeous, I don’t believe that”, Penelope whisper-giggled.
Spencer didn’t realize his steps slowed down, too curious by what you two could be talking about. And also, kind of forgetting that you shouldn’t just listen to other people’s conversations like that.
“Oh yes”, your voice was low, and Spencer would be lying if he said it didn’t send a tingle along his spine, “He broke up with me, but he came crawling back to me not even two months later because I apparently ‘ruined him’ for anyone else.”
Ruined him? What did you mean?
Both Penelope and you were laughing now, louder than before.
“You really, really gotta teach me your devious ways, buttercup.”
You snicker. “I guess it all boils down to making them come so hard they cry and forget their own name, really.”
Spencer didn’t get the detail he needed from you that day.
He’d gotten something much worse and that was curious. From the limited sexual encounters he’s had in his life before (a rushed hand-job somewhen in university in a toilet cubicle by that one other student he was into back then) he couldn’t really imagine something like sexual gratification that made one cry. Sure, getting himself off felt good. Sure, that orgasm had been fine. But… it could feel better?
He kind of didn’t think of that before.
So, when flustered-he had returned to his apartment after that overheard conversation, he kind of… thought about what these things could be that you did, to make others feel so good they lose the basic functions of their memory.
And the rest is basically history.
Of course, he’d never touched himself while doing… research about your techniques. It just felt- wrong. You are his friend and despite of his crush on you, it didn’t feel right.
But now…
He really really shouldn’t. But, he’s just so- desperate. For you and for things to go back to how they were. Without him almost bursting at the seams each time you look at him because before, he never had any problems with categorizing his mind like he does now.
So maybe… Maybe he can just… Do it once? Real quick, to get it out of his system?
The longer Spencer turns the thought in his head, the more… it seems like a good idea. You’d never know. Spencer could forget about- about the accident and move on. Solve the case and finally leave cursed Florida behind. If he just does it this one time, it’s not that bad right?
The fuzzy pleasure that shoots up his spine when he finally, finally presses his hand against himself through his pyjama pants answers him. Yes, yes, it says and more more more-
Spencer has never been good in denying himself things that make him feel good, better than good, things that make him forget about any pain that has nestled inside of his body or mind. Right now, that thing is you. Oh, perfect beautiful lovely you. He can’t stop the way his lips twitch into a smile, almost shy, even though he’s alone. But something about you just-
He gasps, back arching a little when he slides the palm of his hand along himself, still through two layers of fabric.
Something about you just- god, how can he put this into words- something about you just makes him feel- safe. Seen. Taken care of. And it’s just, so foreign to him. Strange. He’s always been looking after himself. After dad left and mom-
He’s kind of addicted to it. To the way you make him feel. Spencer can’t get enough of it, can’t get enough of you. Never never enough.
His fingers trail circles around the head of his cock, light and unhurried, enjoying the shivers of good good amazing it sends through his limbs, to his fingertips. Spencer can feel the tension leaking out of him, can feel his muscles relax and his mind become hazy. He should do this more often, god he always forgets how good it is, it feels.
He almost forgets why he decided to get off right now. It had something to do with you. You. Naked and there, here with Spencer. He whines a little because you aren’t here, why aren’t you here he wants that so badly-
But all he has is the crystal-clear mental snapshot of your nudes. Spencer doesn’t remember ever remembering something with such clarity before. He feels kind of embarrassed by that, how obviously desperate he is for you. How he would do everything for you, with you. But this feels so good that he doesn’t care about any kind of embarrassment or shame that might trigger his self-loathing.
He increases the pressure of his palm slightly, oh god oh oh, it’s so good already and Spencer hasn’t even touched yet, not properly at least, but oh. Oh, he wants moremoremore-
It’s so easy letting his thoughts tangle, mixing old and new. Fantasies and reality. The you from the pictures merges with the you from his daydreams and oh shit. Oh fuck.
Spencer moans, high and needy at the back of his throat and god how are you so beautiful?
Imagined-you has absolutely nothing on the real you. Spencer could have never himself come up with you because he just lacks the imaginative capabilities to conjure the absolute vision you are. The vision you portray on those freaking pictures that have branded themselves into his very neurons. He’s sure, absolutely sure, that he will never get over them. Over you. Doesn’t even really want to.
Because he is quite certain that the sight of you, your stomach your thighs your arms your tits your- oh he forgot where he was going with this.
By now, Spencer’s hand has dipped beneath his pyjamas and beneath his boxers and he moans again, his lips pulled between his teeth and eyes shut because the feeling of good good better more almost peaks when he grabs himself, finally.
His right hand starts an even, slow pace along his cock because if he is only ever doing this once, he is going to make most of it.
It doesn’t take long for him to get close, though. He’s been so wound up the last few days, it really is no surprise. It’s actually more surprising he hasn’t come all over himself already.
Soft, keening noises are continuously spilling from between his lips, hips moving together with his hand because he just can’t help himself. The heat in his abdomen is building and building and he whimpers because he wants it to be you so so badly, his thoughts are a mess, he is a mess and he wishes he could be your mess, yours, yours to make a mess of and oh god he’s going to-
A knock. On his door.
He freezes, blood rushing loud in his ears, heart pounding and his cock hot in his hand and begging him to not stop but-
“Spencer? It’s me, can you let me in?”
⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆
pt. II? 👀
#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x y/n#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid x you#tinywrites#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x reader fanfic#spencer reid fic#spencer reid smut#spencer reid x reader smut#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds smut#tinywrites:accidents
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you know, the thing that leaves me completely out of fucks for "don't vote" arguments, more than anything else?
the 2000 election
Bush won by Supreme Court decision. If they'd counted all the ballots in Florida he would've lost, but he successfully sued to stop the count.
We all learned what a "hanging chad" was. It was awful.
Less than a year later, airplanes flew into a bunch of big important buildings.
Nader got near record green party votes. Al Gore was the famously boring VP for Clinton, the guy who decided the way to win was to be a Democrat who acted like a Republican. Clinton and UK PM Tony Blair were the champions of neoliberalism.
why in the fuck would you want to vote for that guy? the dumb kid of the old president didn't seem too bad, anyway. he was a Compassionate Conservative! is that really so much worse than neoliberals?
it's hard to play alternate history with this stuff, but imagine if Al Gore had been president on 9/11. We probably still get a war in Afghanistan, everybody wanted that one except Congresswoman Barbara Lee, D-CA. I think it's a pretty good bet the US doesn't invade Iraq.
Can you imagine how much better off we'd be if instead of 8 years of a climate denier president we'd gotten the guy who wrote "An Inconvenient Truth"? If we'd managed even to do the wimpy version of cap and trade?
You can't KNOW these things. That was one Trouser of Time and we're down a different one.
But 537 votes in Florida made a hell of a lot of difference. I don't want to be one of the 600 or so people who were running late after work and didn't want to wait in another goddamn line.
Because you just never know what's going to happen
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I’m getting my uterus and ovaries ripped out as soon as possible. At this point at don’t care that it can cause a higher risk of heart disease or whatever I am in so much pain all the time I would take that over this. It took my body less than 2 years after endometriosis extraction surgery for it to go from Lots of endo but it’s all surface and it’s stage 1, to Everything is stuck together in there with scar tissue and endo and it’s deep enough that it’s visible on an mri.
#endometriosis#I’m so lucky that my doctor has said she is absolutely willing to do a hysterectomy on me when I’m ready#I am an early/mid 20’s person with no kids and no long term partner#IN FLORIDA#and my doctor in our first appointment after seeing my gyno history said she was completely open to it#I looked at my mri images today#and it is fucked up in there#I am still on shock over what it looks like in there#I don’t know how im not in more pain#I say that as someone who is regularly in severe pain due to my endo
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