#but im thinking of these two a lot lately. really weird when you make an oc thats an older teen when youre barely a teen and ur like wow
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cinnabarts · 10 months ago
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bro we are teens
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skrunksthatwunk · 4 months ago
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household enemy to the yyh watchthrough number one is the olympics. it's taken us a week to get two episodes into the gamemaster fight
#out of three. please the third episode's what makes it okay im fighting for my life out here#it is NOT for lack of trying on my part but theres only a brief window of time when the olympics is not happening#and as it turns out the watchthrough is Not my mom's first priority (how dare she etc)#i do feel slightly bitter that we've gotten through two eps of band o brothers in the same time#we are fighting for the same timeslots yet somehow the hour long show's gotten a leg up??#you don't have time for a 23 min ep but DO for a 60 min one?? explain the math to me please#idk how to explain the vague feeling of betrayal bc it Does Not make sense Nor matter in the slightest#but cmonnnn we were doing so well. and my little bro's starting up school again soon and my dad's gotta go back to work#sometimes eventually (<- hes on medical leave) and my grandparents are coming over next week We're Losing Time Soon#ughhh if i'd known the olympics were happening (<- somehow completely oblivious to this) i'd have accounted for#my mom getting whisked away by the land of synchronized divers and shot putters and whatever the hell#happens in the summer olympics (<- only pays attention to winter olys)#bc that always happens. and *i* have to go back to school in Some Amount Of Time Im Too Scared To Check (p sure it's late aug though) and#when that happens i'll (hopefully) be stuck across town which means we won't be able to do it any time besides the weekends#and i don't wannaaaaa#i know this is the least important problem anyone's ever had like i get that i know but#it's important to me that they sit down and watch this with me. and watching it pull apart and being#the one who's easily the most invested it makes me look all desperate when i ask them for their time and they can't give it#we can only pull this off neatly in the summer and we were so close and now we're losing it right at the finish line#i don't want life to get in the way of this little bubble i've fought so hard to make y'know#and it's childish and embarrassing and whatever but i just want them to have fun with me with this thing i care about a lot#but i can't do that bc my mom needs to watch the judo matches at Every weight class#even though she's recording a lot of them? i don't understand but whatever i know it's her thing im just moping about it ig#i want it to be as perfect an experience for them as possible and it's slipping away from me#and i don't wanna leave this project unfinished when i start school y'know. sighh#i think they might feel like i only want them around when we're watching stuff. whcih is weird bc that's like#The Singular Way we family bonded literally my whole life so idk why they wouldn't get that when reversed#but either way that IS how i wanna spend time with them. i want them to understand this thing that's become a part of me#and i wanna talk With them about it. and so far it's been fun in a way it's never been before. my mom at least seems to really like it#and i want it to Keep going well bc if we lose momentum im worried they'll start finding it tedious. sighh
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szczylpierdolony · 2 years ago
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#im so stressed out im so tired ive done nothing and i need to start writing the essays#i have 3 to do plus there are like 6 exams most of which have a lot shit to remember plus im having a psychology short test#and the results of another short test next week and i need to start this economy assignment#and im late almost two weeks with a russian assignment and i want to cry#my meds arent working so im a mess and i stopped taking them bc they give me nightmares but now im having withdrawal and my heart is being#weird and i want to cry i need to kill myself i need to call my doctor#and maybe ask her abt that thing that makes you not have to take all your exams if youre mentally ill#but i feel bad asking for it like its not like im really sick and it feels like im just constantly lying#and she already signed the crap that makes me not have to go to pe thankfully#so i cant go and ask her abt this too like whatever worst case i fail everything and rip my guts out and die#i dont remember when i showered last time and im just so stressed out and i cant do anything productive#i havent been drawing or learning or revising or even doing my reading#speaking of which i have like 300 pages for next week maybe more and i cant take this anymore i need to die#also i think my parents would get mad at me if i said i cant wrote all my exams#bc whatever im not really sick im just lazy and annoying and a bad person and i wish i could get hit by a car so bad i need my head to be#crushed and my brain to get wplattered across the street#also im so gross and sweaty i hate myself sm and i feel so guilty over everything all the time#and them i go to therapy and i cant talk abt anything bc i hate talking abt my feelings its gross and i dont deserve it#i wish there was easy access to guns here suicide would be so easy jesus#and im having insane mood swings again i need to get off social media even tumblr it just makes me feel like shit abt myself#tw suicide mention
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flwrkisses · 1 year ago
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boyfriend! ni-ki.
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HAPPY (late) RIKI DAAAAY!! wishing the happiest and sweetest birthday to our lovely riki. celebrating by writing all my lovely ni-ki stans a little headcannon. enjoy!
genre: fluff. established relationship. idol! x reader. headcannon.
warning: some mentions of arguments and skin ship like kissing and cuddling.
❀˖° heeseung jay jake sunghoon sunoo jungwon ni-ki ..
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- you and riki had been introduced to eachother by mutual friends. he for some reason found himself always wanting to impress you each time he saw you. thats how he found out he liked you.
- the weird feeling he would get in his chest when he saw you was actually just the butterflies. even if he didn't want to admit it. so, one day after talking to jake for a really long time about his feelings he finally got the confidence to tell you how he felt.
- he honestly was ready for rejection so when you told him you were also interested in him, took him off guard. he probably would need a moment to register what exactly to do next. but from that day on you guys just assumed you were dating without any proper question. you both admitted feelings for each other.. so you guys just assumed thats how relationships start.
- the first date would probably be to a movie in the park or maybe a shopping run that turned into a cafe and boba date on accident.
- riki is usually very private about his relationships.. however, if someone gets on his nerves he plays the "at least im actually dating someone!" card to rub in their face that he managed to find someone who loves and cares about him.
- he's a mean boyfriend, meaning that he will tease you, poke fun at you and play pranks on you because thats how he shows his love. however, you must retaliate in return if not its not fun.
- sometimes when you're walking down the street while holding hands he purposefully trips you and chuckles when you stumble only for you to try and trip him back. this usually leads to you guys almost tackling eachother in the middle of the sidewalk.
- he also finds it funny when he holds his hand out against your head to stop you from getting closer to him. he's tall and has long arms so he thinks its funny but after a while he gives in and pulls you close.
- you know he loves to mess around and tease you however, no matter how much he playfully bullies you he's actually very protective of you. lots of his jokes come from a place of love. however, if someone else were to make fun of you the way he did he couldn't find it funny at all.
- despite how playful he is. he would die for your touch. he loves melting into your arms and holding you. believe it or not he's a lot clinger than you'd imagine.
- in private he's putty in your hands but around his hyungs or anyone else he tries to play it cool.
- he draws you things on any serface if you give him enough time and a writing utensil. they're usually cute drawings of a couple that he says are the two of you. he leaves these little doodles on your shopping lists, notebooks, sticky notes, white boards.
- when you visit him while he's at practice he gets so excited because he loves seeing you when he's in his element. he shows off just for you and asks you if you thought he looked cool while dancing.
- riki finds your height difference to be extremely cute. he loves pointing out how short you are compared to him. he loves feeling tall around you. please ask him to get things off the top shelf.
- he's going to ask to borrow your hair tie, and never give it back so he can wear it around his wrist or keep it on his nightstand as evidence he's with someone.
- something you noticed is that he'd "accidentally" leave his shirts or hoodies at your place in hopes that you'd wear it. and when you do he melts a little inside.
- when shopping he usually likes to take you with him so you can tell him what you think about clothes. he wont buy something you don't like. if you're not with him expect pictures of clothes on him or facetime calls for your opinion.
- riki loves hearing your voice so even when he's sleepy from a long day working, he'll call you just to hear you talk about your day. his deep raspy voice usually just humming along to your words to let you know he's listening.
- most times he ends up falling asleep with you on call, regardless of if it's a video chat or regular phone call. he feels comfortable enough to do that with you so it's sweet. plus he works so hard you can't possibly be upset.
- he gets a lot if his dating and relationship advice from jake because in his eyes he thinks he's the most romantic. so most big romantic gestures from riki is usually something jake told him to do for you.
- pda is a big no for him, maybe simple hand holding or a quick hug would be okay. but he gets way too shy to actually kiss you or be overly touchy with you in public.
-but, he does like to see you wearing his clothes or matching shoes with him. its a little cheesy but he can't get enough of it. it's a little nod that you belong to each other.
- on his phone your contact would be something like "my loser." or "nerd." something not too romantic incase someone takes his phone and makes fun of him for having such a lovey dovey name for you.
- his home screen is a picture of you though. you're not looking at the camera and it's kinda blurry but he knows it's you and he loves looking at the candid pictures he's taken of you. loves it so much that it makes one of them his hime screen.
- riki loves thrill especially thrill rides so even if you don't like them he would drag you to ride rollercoasters or fast rides with him.
- he does love to kiss you though. after the first kiss he was addicted and is always looking forward the next kiss. however he would die inside if anyone every caught you both kissing.
- arguments are something unavoidable. especially when riki can be a little bit of a hot-head about things and prideful. he kinda sucks at apologizing or talking things out so space from each other usually helps you both cool down.
- after a couple days you both realize how much you miss each other and end up forgetting why you were upset with each other in the first place.
- a fault in him is saying yes to anything you want to do or ask for. sometimes he doesn't realize what exactly he's agreeing to. this has gotten him into a lot of very interesting situations with you. like ending up in the salon next to you getting his nails and toes done, or taste testing weird herbal teas, or even getting his hair dyed to slightly match yours.
- after a long day, you both just melt into the sofa and scroll on your phones for hours. just watching tiktoks or something similar. occasionally reaching over to show each other something funny.
- if you're not doing your weekly tiktok scroll with him on the sofa, you're probably cuddling and watching an anime. you guys take turns picking which one to watch. its also a nice way to spend time together since he loves to order food and make a date night out of it.
- when going out with you to a place where theres music and dancing involved. regardless on if you can or can't dance he would pull you to dance floor to dance with him. a big smile on his face as he watches you move and enjoy yourself.
- he is so supportive of you no matter what. he would promote your projects you choose to do regardless of what it is. he always has your back, and encourages you to do what you love.
- just expect impromptu dance parties while listening to music. you guys could be chilling and having music in the background when he pulls you up and just playfully dances with you.
- when watching a romance movie and they do something cool, like kiss under stars, or set up a romantic camp site, or something of that nature he can't help but look at you and say "lets do that."
- he would never tell you, but praise goes such a long way with him. he wants to hear that he's doing well and that you're proud of him. so when you vocalize it he loves it.
- in the beginning of the relationship he says things like. "saying 'i love you' is so cheesy." only to be the one who says it over and over later in your relationship. when you wake up, when you part ways for the day, when you go to bed. all the time.
- riki would also have a polaroid of you on the back of his clear phone case because he thinks it's cute. and regardless of how old the photo is he wont change it.
- overall, riki's a sweet but, mischievous type boyfriend. he lives and breathes for you and wont let you forget it with how much he playfully annoys you. there is nothing he wont do to make you happy or to hear your laugh that he loves so much.
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©flwrkisses ; please do not copy, translate, repost and/or reuse my work without my permission. (2023)
masterlist. — requests are open!
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mono-dot-jpeg · 8 months ago
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bad decisions - i. sae, b. meguru & m. reo
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summary; let's make some bad decisions.
genre/extra tags; rambling post?/scenarios???, fluff but not really, diet fluff, and diet angst, late night thoughts combined with day light thoughts, might be ooc
a/n; im gonna go out on a limb here and say you dont want yandere obsessive tendencies in the relationship (i dont write yandere bc i hate that trope and i dont understand the appeal). i only did three bc this was all i can think of, im so sorry- hope you enjoy this either way. thank you for requesting and for your patience.
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i think we all saw this coming when i say, sae probably gotta have some odd habits and thoughts when it comes to being a relationship. he's precise and serious in his soccer, and that bleeds into his relationships. it has nothing to you, no, not when he's so used to seeing into every detail and every possibility. he keeps trying to predict what you will do, and then you surprise him when it's not what he expected. most of the time, this happens when you're just doing something without much thought. he gets kind of weird about it though, he just blue-screens and had to take a moment before asking what is wrong with you because you didn't do the thing he expected. you have to tell him that this is just how you are, and he refuses to be outsmarted by his partner when he's usually the one with the brain cell between you two.
he feels the need to check on you a lot because he doesn't express it outright. he observes you like he's in a game match. it's cute at first but then you realize, "oh god he's really paying attention a little too well..."
he hates if you ever even try to interact with rin. he is one jealous little shit. if he's in a good mood [which is hard to tell with him], you have like a higher chance of talking to rin. but most days, he's keeping you away from him.
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bachira is unpredictable and he's crazy. he loves you a lot. and i mean a lot. he's extremely clingy towards things he cherishes and that probably stems from the lack of friends he had back then and he's just scared to lose you. but sometimes he really impedes on the day-to-day routine. he needs reassurance when you're gone. he texts you a lot. very standard clingy person.
he feels the need to be a guard dog. he's possessive but not in the way sae would be with his jealously. no, bachira is possessive but he's confident that he will keep you protected from others. but also he loves to wreak havoc so he likes being loud about being clingy and protective. it can get overwhelming.
i'm gonna be real, this one is short because bachira's traits could probably be pretty amplified in a relationship and honestly, i would go as far as to think that most of his traits would just be either better or worse in a relationship.
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overbearing. that should be enough to explain it.
he's got a weird complex with him. at least that is what i think. he really stuck with nagi a lot, and i think he would do the same in a romantic relationship. he's gotten too used to coddling nagi and he does the same to you. he spoils you. and it's great at first, but it can be a lot at once. and honestly i think he feels the need to compensate for something. what is the thing he's compensating for? i don't know, but he gives me those "compensating for something with money" vibes.
i think it's safe to say that all the boys have a pride to uphold and reo is no different. he hates being inactive. he wants to help you all the time. and i mean all the time. he wants to be useful but he goes at it terribly. he wants to be relied on.
is it crazy to say that i think reo is the worst out of the three here? probably but whatever.
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luna-azzurra · 2 months ago
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do you have any advice for writing a love confession without making it grossly cheesy or awkward?
im writing one between long time childhood best friends that are EXTREMELY close and im so stuck
Since these two characters have been best friends for a long time, the confession should feel like it’s built off their history together. Maybe start with a memory that’s meaningful to both of them. It doesn’t have to be a huge, dramatic moment, something small but personal, like a time they supported each other or a running joke they’ve had forever.
For example, one of them could say something like
“Remember that time we got caught in the rain walking home from school, and you made up that ridiculous song to keep me from freaking out? I’ve been thinking about that a lot lately
 and I realized that’s when I first started seeing you differently.”
When people confess their feelings, especially in a real and vulnerable way, it’s usually not in flowery language. If you try to make it too poetic or dramatic, it might feel forced. Instead, keep it honest and straightforward. They don’t need to say “I’ve loved you all along” in some grand, movie-like way. Let the confession come out more naturally, almost like they’ve been fighting it for a while and finally just have to get it off their chest.
You could have them say
“I don’t really know how to say this, and it might sound weird
 but somewhere along the way, I started seeing you as more than just my best friend.”
There’s no way for this kind of confession to be totally smooth, and honestly, that’s what makes it feel more authentic. They’ve been best friends forever, so there’s going to be nerves, maybe some hesitation or stumbling over words. Lean into that awkwardness, it actually makes the moment more relatable and shows how important it is to them.
Maybe one of them starts talking, realizes they’re rambling, and tries to correct themselves. Like
“Okay, wait, that sounded dumb, let me start over. What I’m trying to say is
 you mean a lot to me, more than I’ve probably ever said out loud, and it’s kind of terrifying because I don’t want to mess things up between us. But I’ve gotta be honest, this is how I feel.” The vulnerability in admitting they’re scared to ruin the friendship makes it more heartfelt and real.
This is probably the most important part! These two aren’t just falling for each other out of nowhere, they’ve built this strong, deep friendship over the years. So the confession should acknowledge how much that means to them. Make it clear that the romantic feelings don’t take away from their friendship but add to it.
You could have one of them say something like
“You’ve always been the person I turn to for everything, and that’s not gonna change, no matter what. But lately, I’ve been feeling something more, and I can’t keep pretending it’s not there. I just hope it doesn’t mess things up between us.” This way, they’re emphasizing that the friendship is still the foundation of everything, but they can’t ignore the fact that it’s evolving into something deeper.
Overall, just make sure it feels true to the characters and their relationship. Don’t feel like you have to tie it up neatly with a perfect line or a romantic kiss right away. The beauty of this kind of love confession is that it’s messy and emotional, and it should reflect the complexity of their relationship. They don’t need to have all the answers right away. Let the moment be about the honesty and the fact that they’re finally admitting something that’s been building for a while.
Maybe end with something like
“I don’t know where this goes from here, but I had to tell you. You’re too important to me to keep pretending like I don’t feel this way.” This leaves room for both characters to process what’s happening without forcing a big romantic resolution right away. It’s more about them taking that first step into new territory, which feels more genuine and in line with the close friendship they’ve had for so long.
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copperbadge · 4 months ago
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How did you find the doctor(s) who assessed you for ADHD? Im looking into the process of getting diagnosed because (although ive suspected I might have adhd for years now) I've been struggling a lot more lately and i want to try medication to see if it helps at all. Im trying to search for psychiatrists through my health insurance portal but the the results im getting are all for child/adolescent psychiatry specialists, and I dont think that'll be much help for an adult adhd assessment? Did you have an established therapist to refer you for your assessment or were you able to find a psychiatrist independently?
I actually just kind of had to freeform it, but that does mean I have some tips to share!
I will say, I have never once used a health insurance portal to find someone to treat me for anything. Often their search engine is fucked up and the information is sometimes out of date. I almost always either ask someone who I know has had similar issues if they have a recommendation, ask my treating physician if I have one, or just google until I find someone reputable-looking; any qualified medical center or professional will list what insurance they take anyway, and you can always ask when you make the appointment.
So here's the process for how to do that!
When I was first considering it, I asked a friend who'd had an evaluation that came back not-ADHD, which I liked because it meant we knew it wasn't like, a weird Adderall pill mill or something. I really wanted to have a professional and thorough evaluation because I knew myself and knew I was capable of gaming a questionnaire. The place she had her evaluation was unfortunately having some staffing issues; part of the reason it took me so long is that I played phone tag with them for ages -- I'd call, and regardless of what time of day I called, their scheduler would be "out", so I'd leave a message and never get a call back. Ultimately I said "I really need to talk to a human, because your scheduler has not returned any of my numerous calls" and they said they could transfer me to another office outside of Chicago (in the burbs). That was not going to be accessible to me, so I told them thanks but I'll go somewhere else. Then COVID hit and I was not going to go anywhere near a medical center unless I had to for about two years.
So, when I was making my second serious run at getting evaluated, I did what might be expected of me by longtime readers of this blog: I made a spreadsheet.
I want to caveat this up top with REALLY IMPORTANT CONTEXT: I did not do all of this in a single day. The process from starting research to making an evaluation appointment took about a month, and probably would have taken longer if I wasn't getting somewhat desperate. Do not push yourself to do this as a single act. Research alone is a multi-day process; some days I looked at the open tabs and only entered one tab's worth of information. It took me quite a bit of time to write the form email I sent inquiring about an assessment. It took me time to call the clinic back when they asked me to call to book the appointment. This is a series of steps, not a single leap.
So!
I was looking for a clinic rather than an individual, in part because I'd heard a couple of horror stories about people who went to a psychiatrist and just got argued with for an hour instead of actually getting evaluated. So I googled, and here are some key terms for you, chicago adult adhd assessment. Chicago obviously for the region, but "adult adhd" (putting it in quotes will help) is the important term that will help you filter out a lot of child psych stuff. A lot of what I looked at did included family or child assessment/therapy but were clear that they also evaluated adults.
Then I went through every legit-looking search result and noted down, in my spreadsheet, the name of the clinic/company, the contact phone and email, the URL, the physical location (I needed to be able to get to it fairly easily) and whether they took my insurance. Even if they didn't take my insurance (all but one did) I still put them into the spreadsheet so that if I found them again I could check the sheet and know I didn't need to investigate further. I also tended to bump more legitimate and friendly-looking places to the top of the sheet. And if I were going to do it again I would also look for one specific thing, which is an assessment guide of some kind.
The assessment guide may be something they only give you after you speak with them, so it's not a no-go if they don't have one on their website, but it basically tells you what generally will go on during the assessment, how long it will take, and what you should bring. A full assessment like I had is estimated to take 4-6 hours and they recommended I wear layers so I wouldn't be overly cold/warm in their office, and to bring a snack. That's the kind of information you want, duration of the assessment and what they recommend for you, to ensure that you're working with people who are thorough and care about your comfort.
So, I have this spreadsheet now of places to reach out to, which I know take my insurance and do adult assessment. In the spreadsheet I also had columns for what date I contacted them and whether they'd responded. I started reaching out via email, one per day, with the form email I'd written.
The form email basically said "I'm 42 with no previous diagnosis but I have a family history of autism and dyslexia. I've been told I should get assessed for ADHD, so I'm looking for a clinic that will do the assessment and takes (my insurance). I prefer to be contacted by email but if need be, my phone number is (phone number). Please let me know if you have any open appointments and what information you will need from me to book an evaluation with you." (You can always ask for more information about the actual evaluation process once they respond.)
If I didn't get a response within 24 hours, I moved on to the next, but I only greyed out the text in that line of the spreadsheet; I didn't disqualify/remove the nonresponsive ones because again, I wanted to make sure I kept that information in case they eventually did respond. I did this with about ten clinics, because I figured I must be able to find at least one in ten who could do the eval, and I could go back and research more if necessary.
I think the third or fourth one I reached out to was the first to respond, and I ended up going with them; I had a very positive experience in the assessment itself but it was a real pain in the ass getting the documentation from them -- they took about a month to go through the evaluation data (this is not abnormal but is rather longer than usual according to my psychiatrist) and they gave me an in-person-by-zoom report once it was ready. That said, it took another four months and the threat of reporting them to the state to get them to send me the text of the eval (in part because the evaluator left the clinic unexpectedly with my formal report not yet written). But that's something that's truly impossible to know until you're working with them, and highly unusual, so don't let concerns about that deter you. If you end up in that situation come hit me up and I'll tell you how I dealt with that.
My eval recommended an executive function coach, but if I haven't been able to func it by now I never will, so I thanked them for the recommendation and went looking for a psychiatrist unaffiliated with the clinic to prescribe me meds. There, the key words you're going to be looking for are again "adult adhd" but also "adult disability" and if you want medication that's less likely to be a huge fucking hassle, "medication management". My psychiatrist and I meet every two months to reup my prescription, but he doesn't require me to take a regular drug test or meet him in person in order to get a new scrip, as some people have encountered. We meet in person once or twice a year (I can't remember, it's due to a legal requirement in Illinois) but otherwise it's over zoom.
So yeah -- it's a process, but there are ways to streamline and manage it, and a few tripwires in place to make sure you don't end up screwed by the system. Definitely feel free to ask if you have questions, either here or if you want a more indepth conversation you can email me at [email protected]. GOOD LUCK!
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drunkenkissesatdusk · 4 months ago
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Can u maybe do like a Damian wayne x reader where they're friends and all but sometimes they (reader) tends to zone out a lot and think abt a lot of deep ish things that cause her to make weird faces without even realizing? Like she's much more quieter than usual and when he turns to look at her, he sees that she's visibly very upset but for seemingly no reason.
Oh, and if u want angst, maybe the specific thing she's thinking abt has something to do with him so she's really annoyed and snappy when he asks her what's wrong? Like she's be thinking abt how rude guys in their school are and then it kinda reminds her of Damian. Idk🙈🙉
(*ˊᗜˋ*)á”—á‘‹á”ƒáąá”Â á”žá”’á”˜
am i good at angst? no
 will i try? absolutely.
NOT YOUR FAULT.
pairings — damian wayne - al ghul x reader (platonic)
warnings — i tried to write angst but gave up, that’s all (and the ending sucks that’s not my fault (it is))
summary — pretty much what the request is gangsters
notes — i don’t know how to write angst 😞
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━━━━━━━ YOU SHOULD’VE SEEN THE SIGNS before it was too late. you were sleeping more, food was suddenly too plain, you were easy to irritate, and you felt like you couldn’t do anything.
but, of course, you hadn’t understood when they began, you just blamed it on stress, since you had tons of tests coming up that you were relentlessly studying.
at some point, your grades had started slipping, and your teachers didn’t miss that. you were forgetting to turn in assignments, and whenever you suddenly couldn’t sleep the night before, you started falling asleep in class.
multiple teachers had brought it up after class with you, and you were able to come up with excuse after excuse.
eventually, Damian noticed. Damian, one of the only kids who didn’t ignore you this year, your first year of high school. but, obviously, that wasn’t always the case. Damian had originally been mean, tormenting you alongside all his other friends.
Damian only noticed because of your lack of emotions throughout the time you’d spend with him. on top of that, said time was clearly dwindling.
“hey, hey.” Damian called after you, catching up soon after and walking with you outside, far enough away from other kids so that the two of you could talk without anyone being nosy.
“what’s going on? you’ve been acting weird the past few days.” Damian’s face was clearly concerned, which irritated you further.
sure, you’d been quieter recently, and you almost always had a sour look on your face, but why would he bring it up?
“nothing, im fine.” you defensively crossed your arms over your chest — also doing so for a little bit of extra comfort as Damian seemed to be interrogating you.
“bullshit. talk to me, i’m your friend.” Damian stared at you, face full of worry.
“nothing.” you reiterated, “i said i’m fine, Damian. i’m fine.” you put emphasis on your words.
“you’re not a good liar.” he stated.
“like you even care.” you scoffed, turning on your heel and walking away. you found semblance in the school library, in the back of the room where you doubted anyone would go looking for you in.
with the silence of the room suddenly hitting you, your guard was up and your eyes were relentlessly looking around.
you probably looked angry. if anyone were to look at you, they’d probably think you were pissed off. were you? yeah, probably. why were you mad? you had no clue.
inhaling carefully, you felt your body begin to unwind, your heart rate slowly slowed.
guilt and regret flooded your system. you could then remember the way you’d treated Damian.
he was truthfully your only friend, he hadn’t deserved that.
i’m sorry, you sent the message. i didn’t mean to be so rude, you sent afterwards. he read the messages almost instantly.
it’s fine, not ur fault, he sent back.
sleepover at mine? you asked him, gathering yourself again before making your way to your next class. he agreed, and the day went on swimmingly.
the sleepover was practically the same, nothing bad happened, and it was easier to talk about it with him.
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masterlist — reminder that asks / requests are open!!
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teamatsumu · 1 year ago
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Can I just say how much I love you??? Okay, that sounded weird, I love your work. It's immaculate, beautiful, and I absolutely love it. Thank you for writing, and I genuinely mean this.
Nowwwwwww.......
Can you write a Time Skip Iwaizumi x Reader where he just, like, loves your ass? Like he can't stop squeezing it and fucking you from behind? If you can't, that's okay, and if you can, I appreciate it.
Have a good day!!
a/n: first off, thank you sooooo much! you’re so sweet xx and not weird at all! your ask made my day. im sorry if this is a bit late :(
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worship. (iwaizumi hajime x reader)
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word count: 689
warnings: fem!reader, body worship, a lot of detail about asses lmfao, smut
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Iwaizumi Hajime is a proud ass man.
He has no qualms admitting that fact. Some guys are into tits, and some guys are into asses. He appreciates a nice bottom, what’s the big deal? It’s not like he is excessively enthusiastic about it- until he meets you.
There’s just something about you. While he connects with you emotionally almost instantly, he is also hyper aware of how physically attractive he finds you. Every curve and dip of your figure is something he hungrily runs his eyes over, but none more so than your perfectly shaped ass.
Iwaizumi Hajime is not a dramatic person, but he swears he could sing hymns about your voluptuous butt. He can’t help himself when his gaze strays straight down to it when you walk into a room. He especially loves it in jeans or yoga pants, where the cloth hugs it so fucking perfectly. And when you two start dating, he is gifted with the sight of them in your silk sleeping shorts. All bets are off then. No power in the universe could stop him from reaching for you, feeling the soft silk and warm flesh give way under his hand as he squeezes it appreciatively. Your surprised yelp is merely a bonus.
When Iwaizumi fucks you for the first time, he has to physically hold back.
He takes you from behind, mind foggy and overcome with arousal, nearly going cross eyed at the sight of your ass bouncing on his cock. He has to slow down or he knows he will come embarrassingly quick, and he has to hold back from smacking your ass black and blue because it looks so delicious, so juicy. God, he needs to bite into it, but fuck, that would definitely freak you out.
Over the months, Iwaizumi realizes there is very little that could freak you out, and you encourage every one of his wild fantasies regarding your ass. In fact, you love it just as much, because when Iwaizumi has you bent over his knee, slapping the flesh over and over, your moans and tear filled eyes keep begging for more. And when he dips his fingers into your slit, it comes back so wet and shiny, it makes his own cock jump and throb.
And so Iwaizumi feels no obligation to hold back when he pounds his cock into your poor pussy, going harder and harder just to watch your ass bounce on his pelvis when it smacks into you. His grip is harsh and his smacks are even harsher, but you tighten around him so deliciously that Iwaizumi can’t help but let out a broken groan of his own. You are wrecking him, ruining him for anyone else, and he swears he can never, ever let you go. That’s the recurring thought in his brain as he empties his balls into you, pulling out to let the last few spurts coat your reddened asscheeks. And fuck, the sight might be enough to make him cum again.
Iwaizumi Hajime is nothing if not a gentleman.
He lays you down on your stomach after he’s done fucking you, shoves a pillow under your hips to tilt your ass up. He runs a warm, wet cloth over the sensitive skin, listening to how your breath hitches at the feeling. He bought a nice, flowery scented lotion as well, which he rubs in his palms to heat up, and then massages into your asscheeks, movements slow but firm, soothing the angry skin. You hum in approval at the action, and his lips twitch up into a smile.
Sometimes he thinks this aftercare is for him more than it is for you, because he is really taking his time to truly worship your ass, letting the smooth glide of the lotion move his hands, squeezing and rubbing at just the right places, every part of it getting attention. He bends forward to brush his lips over it too, tiny kisses that have you giggling under him. And if he playfully bites at it a bit, he knows you don’t mind.
He is the luckiest man in the world.
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clarity2electricboogaloo · 6 months ago
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Outsiders shit. Some modern some not idfk
These are all like. The most crack-filled hcs ever, please excuse my brain đŸ™đŸœđŸ™đŸœ if these don’t make sense to you, tell me
- dally is so headstrong that the moment someone bets he can’t do something, he does it
- the gang takes advantage of this
- (this is a method I use on my younger siblings 😭😭)
- dally can walk in heels
- also two bit. Like scarily well. His sister is amazed.
- pony calls people whore
- Johnny calls people thot
- they say these to each other on a regular basis.
- also hoe
- uhhh where was I
- something something gay something something 70s 80s smth pony and Johnny because Johnny never died frfr no cap
- Johnny: “I can’t believe yall vape smh”
- also Johnny: *pulls out a cigarette for each hand*
- pony does the same thing
- twobit and Marcia are either gay-lesbian solidarity or they’re dating, no in between
- if they’re gay, they’re a beard couple just like “we pretend to date, they can’t catch on” “I like the way you think, woman”
- ily twobit matthews. That’s all.
- twobit and Marcia are actually both Hispanic, its canon trust I was there
- dally types “women ☕” in instagram comment sections
- also “it’s bc I’m a man isn’t it”
- (ty V on discord for that second one đŸ™đŸœđŸ™đŸœ)
- cherry and dally argue on twitter
- a lot
- dally spams cherry and then she absolutely COOKS this pathetic rat man
- dally blocks cherry, doesn’t talk to her for a while, then eventually forgets and unblocks her to harass the poor girl again
- cherry doesn’t realize blocking is a thing, but she complains to marcia and marcia shows her how to block Dallas
- dally, two bit, and Steve are all hopelessly addicted to twitter
- like it’s really fucking bad
- someone get these mfs off the internet
- dally therapy
- now
- right fucking now
- cherry valance and ponyboy bisexual man/bisexual woman solidarity
- they are besties
- nothing more nothing less
- change my mind
- (you cant)
- marcia “good luck babe” by Chappell roan
- pony autism
- Johnny audhd
- Darry autism
- soda audhd or just adhd
- I saw someone say dally ocd once and I like it so
- dally ocd
- twobit adhd
- Steve adhd
- everyone trauma :D
- when johnny actually lived after the fire bc thats what actually happened actually fr, he left his parents because he realized they didn’t love him (pulling from the “I don’t wanna see her” scene for this)
- he stays with the curtis boys most of if not all the time
- if soda and Darry are gone, pony will grab Johnny and they’ll sleep together
- not in a weird way you freaks
- pony just genuinely cannot sleep
- I may or may not be influenced by fics I’ve read

- soda saw them one night when he got home late and was like “
queers?”
- he stays out a bit later than usual now, often found sleeping in another room
- Darry actually supports more than pony thought, when he comes out, Darry is like a pride parade mom frfr
- kinda lowkey overbearing with it
- ily Darrel curtis
- soda is the typa guy to genuinely not understand lgbtq+ but supports anyways
- sodas the typa guy to be asked what his pronouns are and say “just he/him. Wish I had smth more interesting, but I’m just a guy :D”
- on the other end of that, soda and Steve are gay
- everyone is gay
- all of them
- so very fucking gay
Im done yapping for now, im so sorry for anyone that sees this
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abilouwrites · 1 year ago
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THE LITTLE THINGS
Nico Hischier x pregnant wife reader
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Nico Hischier who notices the little things about you, like how after this roadie there’s suddenly a bunch of stuffed animals on the bed you two share.
He notices how much you’ve been sleeping and he doesn’t think much of it. He doesn’t want to pry because maybe you’re on your period and he doesn’t want to irritate you. But he asks if you’re ok.
“You ok babe? Jus seem a lil tired lately” He questions softly against her bare skin as she rolls on top of him. She puts her head on his chest and lets him play with her hair.
“I’m just probably about to get my period” she shrugs peppering soft kisses against his pec.
He doesn’t ask anymore questions but wraps his arms around you and rocks a little.
He notices the clinginess and it doesn’t bother him, the desire to be near him. Even if its just holding his hand while he talks with his friends at a bar. He even notices that you’ve stopped drinking. But that’s normal for you.
“You ok sweetie?” He’ll ask and you’ll nod. Claiming to just be tired.
He watches as you grow hot then cold in the middle of the night; how he leaves for a few weeks and all of a sudden you feel weird around him.
“It feels like you’re hiding something” he inquires one morning as she’s slowly eating cereal
“Oh” you’ll mumble into the bowl, “im pregnant” You drop the bomb on him like it’s a quarter in a washing machine, “there’s that”
“Excuse me?” He retorts standing a little straighter
“I’m sorry. I mean I didn’t mean to baby trap you but we’re already getting married so uh yeah. We don’t really use condoms that much” you shrug.
“Yeah. I guess so. Is that why you’ve been so clingy and maternal all of a sudden?” Nico asks as he sits next to you
“Yeah. Im about uh.. three months along? I found out maybe a week or two ago. I mean I felt something was off but I just thought my period was being weird or something” she confesses
“I’m so happy” nico whispers into her cheek as he brings her into a kiss, “we’re not making Jack god dad.” He tells her
“I agree with that statement”
INSTAGRAM
Ynoffical
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Liked by: Nicohischier, newjerseydevils, trevorzegras, jamiedrysdale, Jackhuges, matbarzal and 2,400 others
Got married and did the whole baby thing
Comments are limited
Jamiedrysdale - what the freak when!
Ynoffical - idk when I got married
Trevorzegras - I love being a god dad
Nicohischier - hes delusional
Ynoffcial - may your delulu come trululu
Newjerseydevils - baby Hischier!
Ynofficial - BABY HISCHIER!!
Nicohischier
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Liked by: trevorzegras, nhl, newyorkislanders, newjerseydevils, Jackhuges, lukehuges, and 163,462 others
I don’t post a lot but I think I should post that now I have a baby & a wife.
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dizscreams · 1 year ago
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AHH ETHAN SEEING YOU WEARING HIS SHIRT â€ŒïžđŸ˜§đŸ˜˜đŸ˜‹đŸ€
OOOO ANON I LOVE THIS IDEA!!
“CAN I GET A KISS? AND CAN YOU MAKE IT LAST FOREVER?”
— Ethan Landry ★
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PAIRING: Ethan Landry x GN!Reader
A/N: TRYING TO WRITE AS MUCH AS I CAN EVEN THOUGH IM ON VACATION LOL
TAGS: @ourloveisgod23 @xyzstar @wenvierismycomfort @beary-rambles @aesthetixhoe @gabbylovesreading @wekiamo @aqellano @mbankfav @teyamsgirll @c8rdigan @astermath @brakke-dino
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You were on the couch watching tv while you waited for your boyfriend to come over. He said he had to finish studying and he’d be on his way. Which was over 30 minutes ago, but you’re sure there was a good excuse for it! He was a busy guy so you usually had to be patient and wait for him.
You were mindlessly scrolling on your phone as you laid on the couch. You missed him a lot, lately there hadn’t been a lot of time to just relax and enjoy each others company. You lived with Sam, Tara, and Quinn and Ethan lived with Chad. So between school work and roommates you could never really be alone.
Quinn always barged in which was weird in certain situations or Tara and Sam would be arguing and Chad was Chad and always wanted to third wheel to embarrass Ethan.
You were about to text Ethan again before you heard a knock at the door. You threw the blanket off of you and ran towards the door and unlocking it quickly. “Hi, sorry I’m late,” your boyfriend said standing there with a shy smile on his face holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers. “Eth, you didn’t have to do that,” you smiled brightly at him as you gently took it from his hands.
ïżœïżœïżœNo, but I wanted to. I felt bad for holding you up.”
“Thank you,” you said softly before giving him a quick peck on the lips, “You can sit down on the couch, I’m just gonna put these up.” He nodded and you quickly walked away from him and towards the kitchen causing Ethan to get a good look at your shirt. The design looked really familiar to him.
You found a glass big enough for the flowers and delicately took them out of the packaging. You grabbed all of them at once since it wasn’t a large bouquet and put them in, “There!” You tried walking away but were stopped when you felt two big arms wrapping around your waist followed by Ethan’s chin on your shoulder. “You’re wearing my shirt, aren’t you?”
You smiled and turned around so that you were now facing him, his arms still around your waist. “Maybe I am, what’s it to you?” He chuckled, “Nothing, I’m just kinda surprised is all?” “Surprised?” You asked confused and Ethan’s cheeks turned red, “I don’t know, it just looks good on you,” he said quietly. You kissed his cheek, “You’re so cute,” you giggled as you began to kiss his other cheek, then his head, then his nose, and then finally his lips.
You sighed as you both relaxed into the kiss, as this had been something you both were craving all day. You slowly put your arms around his neck and gently tugged him closer to you. The kiss was slow and passionate but Ethan eventually pulled away from you, smiling.
“I really do like seeing you in my shirt,” he said softly. “Don’t flatter yourself too much, I couldn’t find anything comfy to wear.” He rolled his eyes and you kissed his lips again. It was longer than a peck but shorter than what you guys did before. “So what movie do you wanna watch?” he asked. “You can pick-” but you didn’t have time to finish your sentence before he picked you up and walked towards the couch.
“Ethan! Put me down, what are you doing?”
He sat you down and flopped down next to you. “I was thinking a horror movie,” he told you. You hummed, “Of course you were.” “What’s that supposed to mean?” “Nothing!” You laughed.
“I think you’re just jealous you can’t handle horror movies.”
He looked away to focus back on picking a movie and you rolled your eyes playfully. You noticed he had the same dumb smile on his face as you probably did which only made you smile more as you got comfortable on the couch and held onto his arm. You put your head on his shoulder as you watched him scroll through movies.
He finally found one and out the remote onto the coffee table before leaning back and wrapping his arm around you. “It really does look good on you,” he said toying with the hem of the shirt. “I’m beginning to think you’re only saying that because it’s your shirt,” you said looking up at him. He smiled a bit, “Maybe. “Im not getting it back am I?”
“Not a chance”
You both giggled and you put your head back on his shoulder and muttered a quiet “I love you.” The movie had just started and you were already growing a little tired but you couldn’t help it, he gave you so much comfort.
“I love you too.”
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the-s1lly-corner · 1 year ago
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HI there, hate to bother you but i was wondering if you could do the amazing digital circus head canons for a gn! reader who acts a lot like ena
if you have never heard of it you can check on the ena wiki but i would really love if you did something like this so thanks
TADC x ENA type!GN!reader
typically i would do all the characters in one post, but its starting to get late and tumblr wont let me save half answered asks in my drafts for some reason TToTT so im gonna split the cast in half, if you want the rest of the characters you can send in a second ask so i can remember to do everyone else :0! also my apolocheese for any personality mistakes, i think i watched ena a long time ago but was confused/didnt watch the whole thing so uh uh!! relying on a character wiki for this (on that focuses on season 1 so uh uh, idk if that will impact anything) little bonus bonus incorporating enas color thing into this cuz uh we can say its digital world stuff ooo that gives me an oc idea; oc whos like the mayor from nightmare before christmas who has a spinny head/face thing that relates to their emotions
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CAINE:
caines is going to be shorter because hes just your number one fan regardless of your personality, in fact he probably has a silly shirt with your face on it somewhere
will do everything in his power to make sure youre happy and content, and will do everything to cheer you up when you switch over to your sad side
takes you to wherever it is that he 'sleeps' when you get overwhelmed by stuff and keeps you there until both of you are sure that youll be okay and your blues are long gone
you and him easily match energies, sometimes he will even try to one up you with using fancy intricate words
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POMNI:
writing pomnis part first but oh funny is it that pomni and ena have the same VA
anyways
absolutely loves you, but she is so so worried about stressing you out and switching to your 'sad form', tries to (often times unsuccessfully) cheer you up
honestly you both need a break, things in the circus are hectic and insane, and considering pomni just got here she is going to need your help to get used to things
not much to be said since i think pomni is another character i struggle to write
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JAX:
initially teases you for how fast you switch up, its almost like gangle being more upbeat with her comedy mask and more sad when its broken
tones it down a little when you explain you cant really control it whereas gangles case is just her being more confident with the comedy mask (at least thats my hc)
sometimes give you weird looks when you use an unnecessarily long set of fancy words to describe something mundane
bro is fighting the urge to mimic it
surprisingly does the kind thing, he takes you off to the side when something stresses you out so you can have a minute to compose yourself
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RAGATHA:
optimistic sweetheart meets ray of sunshine, you two are an unstoppable force of good and kind of rub off on some of the others
similar to jax when you get stressed out or upset about something, usually when its an in house adventure, she sweeps you to the side and helps calm you down. she probably knows some breathing techniques, i think
ignoring the fact they probably dont need to breathe but thats asides the poin
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monayen · 12 days ago
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Hello! 👋 I love your Luther fics, you write him so well 💖 I have a bit of an odd request for him if you don't mind.
Could you do headcanons of Luther with a S/O who is aroused by his inhuman nature please? Like they're turned on by the fact that he is a cryptid and could potentially be dangerous if he wanted to. Maybe size kink stuff could also factor in? Anyways I hope you have a wonderful day/night!
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➷ Paring - Luther Von Ivory x Fem!Reader [Randal's Friends / Ranfren]
➷ CWs - slight biting, size kink
a/n - this is an incredibly old ask, i am SO sorry i took forever on this,, im trying my best to do the older asks so if you’ve been waiting pleasedontkillme. anyhoot I LOVE LUTHER!!!!
Luther interests you immediately when you first lay your eyes on him
His big, wide eyes almost look small on his long face. Thin lips drawn into a line as he stares back at you. His brown pageboy haircut sways a bit in the light breeze, and you realize that you’re eyeing a stranger at the park
He notices immediately, walking up to you and making you realize how tall he is. At least 6’1, but you’re sure if he wasn’t hunching ever so slightly, he’d seem bigger
“You’re staring, you must like my new scarf.” He says, his voice smooth. It’s not as deep as you expected, almost monotone
He gestures to his dark green wooly scarf wrapped around his neck, noting the several rings adorning his long fingers. You also notice that the scarf is the only warming item of clothing on his body. Which is weird, considering its late fall in Canada
You nod, trying to break his gaze to not let nervousness overcome you. He’s interesting, and you think maybe he likes you with the round blush below his big, unblinking eyes. Swallowing any anxiety you’re sure he can sense, you hold out your trembling hand
“Would you like to get dinner?”
Time passes, and you realize very quickly just how special Luther really is
His house looms, halls leading into rooms and rooms that seem impossible to keep track of. He introduces you to his younger brother, Randal, who bombards you with questions you can barely register before Luther scolds him for overwhelming you
Very quickly, you say it’s alright– you’re just trying to think of a proper response. You’ll get back to him on who your favorite Joker is, it’s been a while since you’ve seen the movies
Your response to his brother seems to please Luther, liking how you don’t blow him off or get weirded out by his
 big personality. His brother does mean a lot to Luther!
Then it’s his catmen, two almost twin like men with cat ears and drawn whiskers. You watch as they follow him, listening to him when he asks them to bring you a cup of water after you mention you’re thirsty
He’s the man of the house, he says. Responsible for all his family. It can be hard, he continues, but he tries his best. He’s only human after all ♡
Human, you think, totally
When Luther talks, you pay attention to the sharpness of his teeth. Mouth large as he bites into a sandwich, and you can only imagine him biting into your shoulder with those jagged teeth, long arms wrapped around you as he pulls you onto his lap—
You fantasize about being completely dwarfed and overpowered by him. The idea of beingïżœïżœhelpless and at the mercy of his inhuman strength is something that makes you shiver 
You also love the way Luther casually invades your personal space, always standing too close, his presence overwhelming your senses. His proximity makes your heart race, aching to feel his large, cold hands on you 
“What are you thinking, schatz?” He says, and maybe he didn’t mean to slightly open his second set of eyes, but he does
 and you notice
Perhaps you should question it, but you’re sure it would be rude to bring it up to Luther. He’s not typical, nothing around him is as human as he thinks it is. For as long as he tells you he’s been around, you’d think he’d have it down by now
But it's okay, you think he’s cute the way he is :)
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sydneymykah · 3 months ago
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☆☆THE STRUGGLE OF ROUTINE ☆☆
✧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Some people can just get out of bed and automatically do what they need to do to get the day started. And the same people seem to be the ones we see the most on our screens. "My Morning Routine", "My weekly regimen", "What I eat in a day", and "My Nightly Routine". These people are seemingly put together and perfect like their said routines. But here you are slouched on your undone bed, still in your pajamas, wearing makeup from the day before after waking up after 12 pm. You meaning me, lmao. ☆...
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☆The struggle of routine is something we all face regardless of what social media persists to tell us. But I don't really want to talk about how "social media is fake" because that's not even fully true. Some people really do live like this and have very structured routines for their day to day lives, granted it's what pays their bills but that's still technically their routine. But I'm more concerned about talking about how DIFFICULT it is to keep a constant routine. Especially in this weird time we live in.
ミ★I'm a perfectionist. I hate when things don't go the way I want and I tend to want things one way or not at all. But life doesn't live by those rules. Life will throw whatever the hell it wants at you, whenever it feels like it. As an individual you have to learn to work around it all. For me it's an inconsistent work schedule, minor (or major) inconveniences, mood swings, and of course the main culprit is laziness/lack of discipline.
☆We've all done it. On a random day of the week you're up way too late reflecting on your life and what you're doing with it. You suddenly feel the hyperactive urge to fix everything about yourself. You want the perfect body before the summer. You want your hair to grow longer faster. You want to get all your life goals written down and planned out dow not the last minute. You want to post a 1 minute video everyday on TikTok at exactly 3 pm EST and post at least 4 pictures to your instagram every other day. So you open the notes app and make an extremely specific, unrealistic, and way too intense routine to follow everyday. You set reminders, add 30 new alarms to your phone, you fill your amazon cart with stuff you believe you'll defiantly use. And after you make yet another playlist of YouTube workout videos you go to bed confident your life is gonna change forever after this...
Now one of two things happen:
You completely throw away the routine the minute you wake up the next day
Or, you do it for a few days but eventually burnout and find yourself back where you were before, now with just more useless junk you have no room for...
ミ★I have personally been both. But we can all empathize with this because if maintaining a routine was easy it wouldn't be such a successful phenomenon online. Out of the millions of views under "my morning routine" posts, many, if not majority, of them are people who wish they can live the way these people do. I think we as people have developed mindsets that are negative first, positive later. Ever since the quarantine we've been used to online overconsumption. The idea that "more is better", and the scare that was the virus has sparked this fear in us that is wasted time. Hence us wanting to build new giant routines in the middle of the night just to eventually abandon it because our minds and bodies don't evolve or develop like that overnight. Most the time the routines are grueling and just makes us feel exhausted over accomplished. When we don't see immediate change a lot people, including myself, give up then and there.
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☆Im not here to tell you how to keep a constant routine or how to become more disciplined because all that information is in the palm of your hands. Honestly at the end of the day it's about your mindset. Realizing what is around you and remembering the reality you live in. You want that body? You want that hair growth? You want to post? It's all possible but here's where the issue lies:
ミ★We forget to forgive ourselves and to be patient with ourselves. We fall under the pressure to perform for social media as well. In this digital age we try to make social media real life 24/7 and put real life on the back burner. Everything must be aesthetic or else! Or if you can't keep a constant routine for a week you're a failure! But the reality is no one just wakes up in their perfect aesthetic one day and has this perfect routine down pat the first time. Another thing that we keep doing is what everyone else is doing. Another example of putting the online first before real life. We've forgotten the beauty of growth, and how things develop overtime. It reminds me of how small artists have the potential to blow up overnight. They suddenly have all these eyes on them and then the GP turns on them simply because their exceptions don't match the artist's personal growth. I think we do the same to ourselves. But regardless of what other people, social media or even what you might even say to yourself the best way to find a good routine is get to know yourself, not someone else. And to not go by others expectations. It's good to hold yourself to a high regard and to make ambitious goals. But you should remind yourself that you want this to last and you don't want to burn yourself out trying to perfect your life like it's a speed run.
☆When following creators who makes content like this I advise to follow people you relate to first. Not saying you can't follow those extremely aesthetic ASMR morning/Night routine videos because hell I watch them too. But know that I watch them for simply that. I've come to the point where I can watch that stuff and not feel incompetent or that I'm failing in life but I digress. Don't pay attention to the many trends and what's hot, just look for people who you might see yourself in, or people who have qualities similar to yours. Physically, mentally, ect. Because if you're a black girl who wants to know how to do a specific 4C hairstyle you're not going to the white girl influencers for tutorials are you? For me I watch Jackie Aina. Her and I don't even have the same tastes in certain aspects, specifically clothing and home decor but she reminds me a lot of myself and some of my values. Her content inspires me but doesn't make me feel like I need to reinvent myself overnight. That's not realistic nor healthy. I think subjecting yourself to that will just give you an identity crisis. Her content helps me feel confident and you should follow people like that too.
ミ★My purpose of this post is not "continue to be a slob" (I'm a Taurus stellium and Venusian. Girl we don't do that over 'chere.) it's to remind and to encourage. A reminder that what you see online isn't what real life is 24/7. Doesn't mean it's all fake, it just means that life doesn't just look like one thing. Social media just tends to make our vision a bit tunneled. Yes, some peoples lives surround what they eat in a day, what they do when they get out of bed, and the steps they follow in their nighttime skincare routine. But our attachment and overconsumption to these types of creators constantly fails to remind us that they're still human. Hell even when the human creators tell y'all "hey I'm human" they still aren't treated as such but guess what? They are! So are you. You are still human. Finding a groove that works for you will take time. And many times you will fail. You will probably forget to do something, you won't have the time for certain tasks, or an inconvenience will pop up out of no where that knocks you off course. But if at first you don't succeed, try again. Social media picture perfect propaganda (lol) has made us forget that life happens and that we will essentially always struggle with routine. Some things stick, some things don't. Some routines last a long time, some only stay for a day. We live in an age where everyone's trying to move as fast as they can to keep with the trends, keep up appearances, and to make up for lost time. And as much as I love the thrill of the fast life, how can I expect to see my growth, what I like, what needs changing and how to fall into a good rhythm when I'm too busy trying to keep up.
✧─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
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Xoxo, Sydney Mykah -☆
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silencesscreams · 1 year ago
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be my mistake
steve harrington x f!reader (smut)
“steve, how could i avoid you? it’s impossible, you’re everywhere i look!“
a/n: also i slipped in a little amy march reference in the discussion part, its my steve fic, sorry in advance if you dont like it and its shitty!! english isn’t my first language so sorry about any grammar mistakes
warnings: angsty-ish, best friends w the scoops troop (i love them so muchhh), afab reader, crying, swearing, kissing, praise, oral (f receiving), begging, a bit of degradation, penetration, unprotected (do not do this pls.),
MINORS DNI
you could say that working at the local family video had its perks.
specially when your two closest friends worked with you but, of course, none of them knew about your recently resurfaced crush on one of them.
steve was not the same guy he was when you met him, sure, he flirted with a lot of girls, and with you, but he was nicer. he was sweet to customers, he even occasionally 'babysit' (that was how robin called hanging out with the kids he was friends with).
recently, steve had become more touchy towards you, he was constantly giving you hugs, he even held your hand at the movies once! sure, you and steve had become best friends, but did he know the effect he had over you? he must know. you blushed whenever he barely touched you, and you felt like your feelings were pretty obvious, you never knew how to hide them properly. he must know, right?
something else, which robin had noticed and commented on with you, was that steve hadn't flirted with any girls in a while now. sure it was weird, because thats basically the thing he did the most, but you didnt really bother, it actually made you a bit less insecure.
you, steve and robin started to watch movies every late monday, since you had less customers on those days, so you'd usually 'work late' and get some takeout and watch some shitty movie you'd probably talk through and make very bad jokes about later.
“ladies! im going on a second date tonight!” he said, barging in with a smile on his face. you could feel your heart fall to the ground, you didn’t even know he had a first date with someone recently.
“what? with who?” robin asked confused.
“her names camila, she goes to state college, i think”
“hm, and did you tell her you have no dreams for the future and work at a family video?” robin teased him.
“oh please, i have a lot of dreams!” he complained, putting on his vest.
“sure you do, stevie” you commented, rolling your eyes playfully. why were you feeling so stupid?
you could feel your stomach fall to the ground, god, that hurt.
it was not like you ever even kissed him. so that meant he was just flirting with you for the fun, then, god, that hurt even more.
and plus, it was steve harrington.
you wouldn’t want to ruin your friendship ever, specially not because of some crush you had, if you could even call it that.
it lasted so long it was probably a free fall at this point.
and so steve went on the date.
and with that, steve had a new girlfriend.
and you hated every single cell in her body.
camila was mean, evil, sick, twisted, a bitch, disgusting and she had this god awful breath. her perfume left you with headaches. and did i say she was mean? because she really was.
but you couldn’t help to not be at least a bit angry at him, and so you found yourself avoiding him at all costs. mostly because he was always with camila and you found her insufferable, but it was also because, yes, you were hurt.
then steve and camila broke up.
so you found out, you had no excuse not to hang out with him anymore. you had no excuse to skip movie sessions, outings, or anything else.
and so whenever a hang out would come up, you suddenly had a sore throat, a headache, a fever. and you don’t know why, but robin wasn’t judging you for it.
you told her about your crush and told her that was the reason you weren’t hanging out with them outside of work, and she understood. she didn’t even question it, and that made you feel worse about it.
“okay, whenever you’re ready to hang out again, feel free to come over, alright?” that was all she said. and it hurt deeply, because you missed your best friends.
but being around steve was unbearable.
and you still, gave it a shot.
monday came around, and robin invited you to hang out at steve’s and watch friday the 13th. for the first time in 2 months, you said yes.
punctually, you were at steve’s, it was 7pm and that was half an hour later to what robin scheduled with you, but her car wasn’t on the driveway. that definitely made you nervous. one thing was hanging out with steve AND robin, the other was hanging out with steve.
took a while for steve to answer the door, once he did, he was standing there in all his glory, wearing grey sweatpants and shirtless. you could feel all your dignity (which was very little) leave your body. you were feeling your body get hotter by the second and the butterflies in your stomach were going crazy.
“hey, come in” he smiled awkwardly, looking around his house nervously.
“sorry i didn’t answer the door earlier, my family’s out of town and i forgot and assumed someone else would answer it.” you smiled at him.
“no problem” you said, trying so hard not to look at him.
“hm, i’m gonna put something on, sorry about that. feel free to sit on the couch, eat, whatever you want to do is fine”
“okay” you smiled, heading over to his living room. there was popcorn on the coffee table, the vhs tape on the table and there was a half filled dr pepper bottle on the floor. you thought it was sweet steve put this together, why aren’t you that mad at him anymore?
when he came back, he was wearing a old t shirt, stained with something that looked like ketchup. he was smelling good. had he put on perfume? god, you missed his smell.
“you wanna start now?” he asked, putting the tape in the vcr.
“maybe we should wait for robin, right?” you asked, fiddling with the hem of your skirt.
“she’s not coming. didn’t she tell you? she got caught up with something at work.”
“oh, right.” she didn’t tell you, and you were sure that was written all over your face.
“y/n?” he called.
“yeah?” you looked at him, your ears flushed.
“have you been avoiding me?” oh shit.
“what do you mean?” you decided to lie shamelessly was just the way to go.
“you know what i mean. you never go out with us anymore, and now i’ve just mentioned robin isnt coming, i realize its because of me.” oh shit.
“what?” you laugh anxiously. “no, i just wanna see the movie, its not like that.”
“stop it. you havent been able to look at me for weeks now and i dont get it. goddamn it! im your best friend!” he sighed, rubbing his eyes the way he did when he was nervous.
“steve, how could i possibly avoid you? you’re everywhere i look!” you blurt out, he was looking at you now. “you’re at my job, you’re near my house, you give me a ride home, you’re in my fucking friend group!”
“i just wanna know what i did, because i never meant to hurt you-“
“steve, stop it, you’re being mean.” you were looking at his hairline, not actually being able to see his eyes in that moment, you were about to do it. “you know how i feel about you and you always have.”
that was probably it, that was the death of the friendship.
“what?” he lowered his head, trying to get something out.
“you dont get to do this to me, okay? you don’t. not when you desperately flirted with me for months just to get a girlfriend. not when you tricked me into thinking that maybe, just maybe, you felt the same. not when i’ve been in love with you since middle school.” you felt like you just had a knife shoved into your stomach because of the way he looked at you. brows furrowed, eyes empathetic, but not looking at you directly.
“im going home.” you managed to get that out, with eyes watery and cheeks flushed. you got up, trying so hard not to look back at him, counting your steps to the door.
one,
two,
three,
four,
five,
six,
seven.
you felt a hand gripping your shoulder.
“stay.” he whispered.
“what?” you turned around, looking up at his hazel colored eyes.
“stay.” his hands were on your waist.
“okay.” you answer, looking directly into his dark pupils and that was probably it for you. someday this man might just kill you, your heart was beating faster than ever and you could feel your stomach knotting and knotting and knotting, it was so silly. you felt so incredibly silly.
until he pulled you in. until he was just a few centimeters away from your lips.
it all happened way too fast.
his lips were touching yours, his hands all over you. you ran your hands through his hair, your mouth parted as his tongue slides into your mouth, licking over yours. his hands on your waist.
your hand goes under his shirt and he felt so warm, until he pulls away. you look up at him, doe eyed and he smiles at you.
he doesn’t even have to say anything, and neither do you.
he takes you up to his room, his hand pressed against your lower back, leading you upstairs with the biggest smile on his face.
he opens the door for you, as you head in you notice he’s just looking at you, blushing and shifting from foot to foot. he gives you a look you had never seen before and it makes your heart pound faster than ever. you can’t bear to hide a smirk.
he stood still in the doorway, but he quickly steps forward once you go up to him and peck his lips, giving him a perfect view of your bra.
holy fucking shit.
then, like it didn’t drive you insane, you pull away, grinning at how he went forward with you.
you were sat at the edge of the, bed legs crossed and eyes observant as he locked his door.
with a speed that drives you crazy, steve lifts you and pulls you into his lap, so you’re straddling him. he does that so quickly, it makes you yelp once you land comfortably, instinctively grinding your hips down, making him groan, the low tone of his voice making heat shoot between your thighïżŒs.
“such a tease.” he was toying with the hem of your skirt. “this is hot.” he whispered, voice thick as he lays his left hand on your overexposed thigh.
you go over to kiss him again but stop in the middle of the way, liking the way he looked at you. you lift his hand, from the fabric of your skirt up to your mouth, kissing his knuckles. the action feels so intimate and sweet it makes him smile a bit (he also gets a bit hard but that’s not the point).
you look down at him from where your sat, eyelashes batting as you stop kissing his knuckles when he pulls his hand from you, slipping his fingers between yours and gripping your thigh with the spare hand. you kiss down his neck and he can’t stop thinking of how pretty you looked, really.
that shirt, that bralette he knew was under it.
its not fair you looked like that. he just couldn’t help himself at the sight of you.
his hands coast up your bare sides under the shirt, that made you shudder and rock a little in his lap, the relief of the friction ended suddenly as he grabd your hips and pins you down firmly onto him, so you can’t move.
it was useless to try to roll your hips, specially with his hold pinning you down.
he hums, hand sliding further up your top and squeezing just below your tit.
you can’t help but moan a little as he palms your skin, his voice low and thick as honey,
“you look like
” your head tips back at the feeling of his hands on you and he takes that as an opportunity to trail soft kisses along your neck “like you’re mine.” you mewl weakly as his hand cups your breast, his touch clouding up your brain.
“you’re mine, right?” you nod eagerly, pushing up against the hand tucked under your shirt. he clicks his tongue and rolls your sensitive bud between his fingers, “not an answer, hun.”
he had barely touched you and you’re already shaking, breathing heavily and face flushed.
he started kissing your neck, nipping at it.
“answer or you’re not cumming tonight.” the timbre of his voice was incredibly low once he said that, it made your eyes round and your hips buck into air.
“steve, yes, i’m yours. i’ll be so good, please.” you whined.
he squeezes your breast in approval, humming at the way your eyes shut when he touches you.
“good girl.” he lifts you up, manhandling you as you’re being laid down on the bed, his hand leaving you and making you whine. you can feel him moving downwards, trailing kisses down your neck, stomach, before arriving between your legs.
he chuckles ad you whines, trailing soft kisses down your body.
“don’t be greedy.” he looked up at you from where he’s kissing, the waistband of your skirt, eyes wide as he takes in your already fucked out and needy expression.
“my greedy girl” you nod at that, head tilted up as your back arches up a bit, his mouth still pressing messy kisses to the inside of your thighs, “practically begging for me, huh?”
he’s mocking you, nipping at your inner thighs, marking up anywhere except where you need him. his hands are gripping and rubbing soft circles into your thighs, feeling you go lax and needy under him.
“steveee” you say, blushing at how desperate you sound, “please.”
you feel him smile against your inner thigh, looking up at you, “what it is it, princess? can’t even speak and i’ve barely done anything to you, huh, so needy.” his head drops down as he sucks another hickey into you hip, “use you words.” you grind upwards and he pins your hips down, tutting. he looks at you expecting something and you know he wont give you shit until you beg for it.
“steve, please,” your voice tapers into broken whines as your hips move on their own accord, missing his mouth. “need you in me, please, i’ll be so good for you. need you so bad, please.”
“that’s all you had to say, baby.” with that, his fingers push the fabric of your skirt up, showing your lace panties. he groans at the sight.
“shit, you’re so pretty.” he presses a kiss to your clothed core, making you moan, “gonna fuck you with these on, okay?” you nod lazily, the feeling of steve mouthing over your panties makes speaking very difficult. he grins,
“so fucked out.” he flattens his tongue over you, pushing your panties aside as he swipes his tongue over to your wet heat, lapping from your slit to your swollen clit, “haven’t even fucked you yet and you’re practically soaking.”
your hand has gone to his hair, your grip tightens. he knows that your pouting at that, even if he’s not looking.
steve pushes your legs farther apart, pushing your thigh up slightly as he lapped messily at your pussy.
your hands are tugging on his hair, stirring him on as he flicks over your clit in quick strokes that leave your legs shaking around his head. he looks up at you, your head thrown back slightly, shirt hitched up showing your bralette. he reaches up with one hand, helping you take of the shirt.
once its off, he sees your lacy bralette fully, straps falling down as your back arches. it’s probably the hottest thing he’s ever seen.
he lifts your hips slightly, pressing two digits to your slick entrance, watching how you try and push against them, hips pinned down as you buck down mindlessly,
“steve!” you mewl, voice wrecked. he hums, flicking over your clit with his togue. “aw, doll, is that all you can say?” he gently fucks his fingers into your tight heat, feeling the way you clench around him as you let out another mewling main, legs thrown over his shoulders as he crooks his fingers upwards, pushing up against the sweet spot inside of you. your legs tighten on either side of his head, fingers fucking faster into you, “so fucked out, its cute.”
you blush red, eyes shut and lips parted in soft whines of his name. he liked the way you said it.
his fingers curl against your g-spot, fucking into you in tune with the quick movements of his tongue.
“fuck, steve, ju-just like that, please” he’s placing sloppy kisses over your clit, his fingers thrusting into you, picking up their pace as you clench around him, dripping over his hand.
“fuck, so pretty for me, baby” he groans as he kisses your clit, “such a pretty pussy, can’t wait to fuck you, gonna be so good for me, aren’t you?” he watches how you nod weakly between your choked moans of ‘yesyessteve’. you clench around him, his fingers fucking rapidly in and out of your cunt. you were just about to scream once he leaned forward, taking you clit in his mouth, lips latching the sensitive bud and sucking hard, fingers still curling up against your overworked spot as you grind upwards into his mouth and hand, his palm grinding against your entrance.
his fingers fuck into you fast and rough, his free hand reaching up to palm your breast through the fabric of your bra, rolling your bud between his thumb and forefinger, bringing you closer to your climax.
“i’m gonna cum, oh my god, i’m gonna cum don’t stop please-“ you moaned as your words turned into mostly incoherent nonsense. your thighs were clenching around his head, your hands curling in his hair as he lapped at you clit, his fingers hooking against your heat, watching how you fell apart at his touch, hips bucking as you chased your high.
“steve- fuck- you’re so fucking good” you can barely finish a sentence, grinding against his mouth desperately.
he loves you like this, whimpering and so needy, talking through broken little whines. the way you’re begging has him working over you faster.
he groans, feeling the was you clench around him, your slick walls contracting around his digits,
“fuck, you like that, don’t you? being mine? only good for me, huh?” any coherent answers get lost in your pleas of yes, please. he chuckles, fucking his fingers harder into you.
“ohmygodsteve” you’re a moaning mess, legs spread wide and shaking, his tongue circling your clit after his hand dropped, gripping your hip to lift you up slightly, fingers fucking into you slightly deeper. you’re praising him breath;essay, making his fingers move faster, sucking harder on your clit. he looks up at you through his eyelashes, the sight of you making him impossibly hard as he ground his hips into the mattress, taking in the way your head was tipped back, how your mouth was parted in soft moans of his name, how your fingers are gripped at his hair, grinding into his mouth and hand.
“aw, are you gonna cum already?” you nod as best as you can, his fingers are moving roughly in you, pulling you towards your finish. you try to hold off when he murmurs, flicking your clit with his tongue.
“cum for me, let me feel you squeeze my fingers with that thigh pussy.” you cum hard on his tongue, his digits still fucking into you, drawing you out of it. your climax crashes over you in waves, the feeling of being fucked open when you came making you whine.
you’re whimpering as he pulls his fingers out of you. steve reaches up and pins your legs up to your chest, kissing you hard and rough. he nips ate your lips and murmurs,
“still need me, baby?” he’s rubbing your cheeks and you can’t help but push against his touch. your voice is broken and whinny,
“yes, please, need you so bad.” he kisses you again and you can feel his hair brushing over your face,
“good fucking girl.” you practically preen from his praise, as he sits up, taking off his shirt and lowering his sweatpants, he takes a moment to dip his hand below his waistband to palm himself through his boxers,
“fuck, need you so bad,” you whine in response, as he pushes is boxers down, his erection hitting up against his stomach. you moan then, seeing him stroke his cock at the sight of you, he chuckles, running his hand down his shaft at the way you’re whining for him.
“needy little slut, aren’t you?” you feel the blunt head of his cock nudge against your slick entrance as he lines himself up to you.
“your needy little slut” you say, grinding against his tip, your slick coating him. he looks down at you with hooded eyes, his voice low as he presses himself closer to you, stretching your cunt around him.
“of course you are” he’s spreading your legs and kissing you. he rocks his hips forward, not fucking you, but enough to make you moan, “tell me if you want to stop, okay?” with that, he pushes into you.
pushing his thick length into you in one stroke, the sudden stretch making you moan breathlessly. he groans into the crook of your neck, biting down on that soft spot,
“still so tight” he wastes no time starting to ove, shallowly rolling his hips up to you. “fuck, feels so fucking good” he kisses your neck, cooing at you. “pretty girl, look at you, taking it like such a good little slut.” he’s pulling your bra down, the flimsy lace pushed back. he fucks you harder, your tits bouncing with each hard thrust into you. you’re moaning lewdly as he thrusted forward, his cock stretching you open. it feels so good, the feeling of him filling you up. you cried out and gripped at his arms, each hard thrust fucking you into the mattress.
“fuck, steve, harder” he cocks an eyebrow, then pulls out to the tip, you whine at the lost.
“you asked for it, doll” he thrusts forward roughly, filling you up with his cock, you feel him even deeper this time, the press of him against your walls making you whine louder as he thrusted harder. “can you take this?” he fucks into you rapidly, mocking you, pushing you against the headboard. “you said you wanted it harder, didn’t you?”
your cheeks burn at the way he degrades your his relentless thrusts making the heat in your abdomen start to build. you’re moaning soft chants of ‘yes, please and steve’, babbling nonsensically through your moans. his thrusts are hard and deep, pushing against your walls, filling you in perfectly.
the rapid slap of skins fills the room as his hips pick up pace, slamming against yours with each thrust, the base of his cock grinding at your clit, the friction making you moan.
“fuck, taking me so well” he’s kissing your neck and playing with your tits, “you were made for me” he groans.
“oh my god” you moan as his cock pushes into you faster, the brutal snap of his hips making you cry out, you start babbling again, chasing your high. he feels so good inside of you, the roll of his hips bringing you closer to the edge.
he can tell you’re close, from the way your hips have started bucking upwards excitedly, grinding on his cock, the way your hands are gripping the nape of his neck. you yelp as he throws your legs over his shoulders, fucking you deeper as he angles his dick perfectly against your g-spot, ramming against it with every thrust.
“please, need it so bad” you beg, steve hums, his pace unflattering as he pounds into you,
“need what, baby?”
“need to cum” your voice sounds destroyed, “please-! please, need you to make me cum, steve” he grins, grabs your hips and lifts you up, fucking into you faster than before.
“only i can do this, huh?”
“you! only you, steve!” you moan out, trying desperately to press yourself against his his harsh hursts. you clamped around him as you felt your high building again. he must’ve felt it, reaching down between you two and pinching your clit, thrusts getting faster as you cried out.
“i want you to cum” he says, fucking you onto his cock, “cum on my cock like the good girl you are.”
his thumb rubs your clit faster, moving in time with his rapid thrusts, hips pistoling into you, fucking you hard as you came with a loud cry of his name, this one harder than the last. walls clenched hard around him as you gripped the back of his neck. seeing you, head thrown back in ecstasy, face screwed up in pleasure as you cry out his name, has him groaning. head dropped into the crook of your neck as his thrusts get faster and sharper, the overstimulation drawing out high keening noises from your throat, his cock nudging against your cervix as he spills inside of you.
“fuck, so good for me, honey” he kisses your shoulder. “such a good girl” he murmurs. he pulls out slowly and takes you in his arms, laying you down.
he starts getting up and you tug gently at his wrist. he kisses your forehead smiling.
“don’t worry, i’m just gonna get some things in the bathroom”
when he gets back, he throws you an old shirt, which you quickly put on.
“i can go, if you want to.” you mutter, looking down at your hands.
“what? no, are you crazy? stay. come on, lets watch that movie” he smiles at you, opening the tissue case.
“okay, i will then.” you couldn’t help but smile.
“hey, about that thing you said earlier” he looked into your eyes. “i love you too.”
-
tag: @nix-rose
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