#but im so tired inm just so tired

[wouldwulfie]

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[jackienautism]

that sibling post erupted something within me actually sorry

vent

i was feeling soo much worse lik 10 minites ago but the feeling still lingers esp thinking abt how my brother is going to be moving out (most likely) for college next yuear and its just auuhg..bauuuhghh...

i want to get out of here so fucking much. i understand that i have it FAR FROM the worst but good god. good fucking god. i camntt take this shit anymore. all my friends from highschool dont gaf anymore. everyone is moving on without me. even if they say theyll keeo in touch they never actualyl fucking do. im just stuck here. im stuck. im forever stuck in this fuckass town int hsi fuckass house. i just want ot get the fuck out of here

but i CANT bc i cant drive and im so dependent on my parents still. i dont think id physically be able to move out and leave and live on ym own. i just dont think i can. id fucking just die. college isnt a n option for me. my mental health dropped so fucking low my senior year and in college my grades will actualyl mean something again. and i just cant let that happen. i cant. i cant let my depression ge tin the way of something so important. but the thing is. nothing is getting better. inm still in the sam eplace i was how ever many years ago and im tired. im so tired.

im just. im so doomed.i m doomed in everything i do. i wont be ableto live on my own. and i wont be able to drive. and if i did? i dont want to an intrusrive thought or urge or whatever to overtake my body adn get myself or someone else killed. i just can't. i cant do it. but in order to actually fucking live i need to drive and im so fucking tired. esp in the place i lvie now. in order to do literally anything i need to drive. and everyone on the road is so goddamn mean over here. my anxiety would just hinder me if something else doesnt

i just. i want to move ot hawaii w/ my grandparrents or around my grandparetns so fucking bad. i just need to get away from this place. i need to get out of here. i need to get out.

i need to get away from the place ive waasted 20 years of my life. i need a new start. i dont have anything here anymore. i dont fucking care if i leave some friends behind. theyll live. and besides. theyve been doing a pretty damn fine without me anyway. my job just tires me the fuck out. i dont care for this fucking town. all ive ever felt was out of place. atlteast in hawaii ill feel like a belong that much more. but even then. being mixed white and all. ill still feel it. but its much better than being fucking here.

i just want ot leave this town behind. to leave everything i once calledhome behind. bc it never actually felt like a home.

i just wan tot move. i want to get thr fuck out o fhere.

i feel like im never goignt o get out of this place. and yet my brother can. and will. and im just. i cant. i cant.

[zarovich]

i canyt sleep somethung feels wring this isn't real simething bad is about to happen can feel jt in my chest

[wholelottiered]

Im just fucking tired of evertyhing Im fucking tired of living my life. Im not doing anything. Im not smart or nice or funny or hard working or anythhing Im just a fucking failure in everything I do Im so fucking lazy and worthless and not notable or redeemable. I dont have any fucking friends. Every fucjiing person ive ever been friends with is better off without me no one remembers me or cares about me or wants me around anymore I think Im better left in the past for everyone. I shouldnt exist in the present or the future because I am a fucking failure of a human being. No one cares about me. I dont care about me. Im done. Inm fucking done

[crystals-and-confusion-blog]

Despite it being my first year doing inktober I also decided to do two prompts a day from different lists but I’m really tired so I may draw the other prompt later today and post it tomorrow, draw it tomorrow and post it tomorrow or just not draw it at all and fail myself take a nap

[techdeath]

holu Fuck im so tired of this im tired of bein g fucking lonely asking ppl to hang out with me is like breakibg legs inm Always the one msging ppl first i keep offering for ppl to spend time with me and i am jusst Always rejected becuz im fuckin repulsive! 👁👅👁 im worrhless i should stop trying and just let myself be lonely and alone and accept that evwryones always gonna hate me Hehe

[les8ean]

Is 7am and my dumbas bird just woke me up so fUCC IT Im gonna do that gym again FUXK THE RULES Inm so tired please end me

[fe-li-ci-ti-es]

1.10.19 pt 2

I dont think Im supposed to have black patches in my vision like I do right now. I guess I really do have a virus. I was scrolling thru instagram but things were fuzzy when I tried to focus on it. I have to leave in like 15 minutes for class anyways 

its actually hard to write this right now so inm gonna take my vitamins after this and hope its just a nutritional deficiency 

I think this semester will turn out ok - pse 220 seems pretty fun and easy and also I like my group members 

surprisingly i got my period today and last time I thought I had it was about 3.5 weeks ago around dec 18 so I guess it is a week early again or really messed up. I was scared that I was pregnant and going through “implantation bleeding” around dec 18 so idk what my body has been doing. It definitely explains why I have been so tired and why I ate a lot las tnight. my vision is so blurry right in the center its like the atoms are vibrating in rainbows i wonder if i looked at the sun or something? 

[viridianz]

hhhhhhhhhhh

i’m so fuckign tired of just floating thru life........ im fucking sick of it im sick and tired of literally only having Two Moods and no in between,, im tired of feeling apathetic and im tired of feeling like my life has no meaning!!!!!! inm fUcking sick of just existing on this earth and nothing else!!!!!! im sick of trying to picture my future and seeing nothing!!!!!!!! im sick of feeling mediocre!!!!!!!!!!!!! im sick of misery im sick of it all im tired i dont wanna be frustrated anymore i just want to be happy i want to enjoy life again i want to feel alive again please

[jackienautism]

inm genuinely so fucking upset rn. just based on a brief browse of jasons wiki, hes in such a similar boat to ingrid fire emblem but holy fucking shit you know whose character gets reduced down to racism? and you know whose doesn't? and you know wha tth ebiggest difference is between the two of them? im going to fucking kill someoobe

before i say anything more, ive already reblogged a posttalking abt ingrid and her racism (which i agree w/) and i dont blame any poc esp dark skinned poc for immediately not liking her and being uncomfortable by her despite the growth she experiences in her later supports w/ dedue. i dont blame ANYONE for hating her due to those reasons

i have to play house of ashes before saying anygthing more but holy goddamn shit. both have prejudices due to a tragedy that occurred in their primarily white society. and those same prejudices affect their relationship w/ another character (that theyre prejudiced against) whos within their group. blah blah blah thigns happen they must learn to depend on each other, growth blah blah balh. i dont even fucking know if jason goes through any growth and realizes that hes being fucking racist. i havent played house of ashes yet so i just ASSUME he goes through an arc of realizing that hes been shitty but who the fuck knows. i woudlnt even be shocjed if he DOESNT go throughg any sort of growth bc i literally have no faith in fandom anymore. will probably update thsi once i plauy the game. but anyway

its actually incredible how similar hsi mindset is to ingrids. and yet jason is super well lvoed and well received and only said to be a 'bastard' and an 'asshole' while ingrid remains one of the more controversial and debated characters of the fandom and the fact shes racist is mentioned every like 2 seconds

if oyur opinion of me has changed simply based on how i view ingrid, thats okay. i totally understand. ESPECIALLY if youre a poc. if youre white i rly couldnt fucking care less. especially if you like jason

its just........ man. ugh. if jason were a girl and ingrid were a guy, their roles and fandom perceptions would be swapped for sure. look at felix and lorenz for example? they say and do just as shitty of thigns as ingrid and yet no one fucking cares. im tired of this double fucking standard. so many people pretend to care about us and want to be seen as "pure" and "progressive" and yet they turn around and do shit like this and it just shows me that they DONT ACTUALLY CARE. and im TIRED

i feel like i have more to say but im just so pissed off rn.ill add more once it comes to me i guess