#but im sitting in the first row
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Please please send asks I'm trying to survive this day at uni
#i signed up for the manga workshop#bc it was least work#and the lady from japan is super nice#but im sitting in the first row#and im dying without multitasking#i cannot just sit and listen#oi need to do more#please send welp#of mice and me#might delete later
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now I Know this is being overdramatic and petty which is why im posting about it instead of actually saying anything but I wish to fucking god my roommate would stop having ppl over without warning me beforehand.
#j.txt#genuinely cannot think of any instance since last year where she hasnt had someone over for more than 3 days in a row#and for the past couple weeks its been her shitty ex who shes already told me she cut off bc of things he did to her when they were first#dating so like. girl im trying not to judge but What Gives !!!#and it wouldnt even be nearly as much of a problem if they werent constantly in the kitchen or living room. ik its me being neurotic#and antisocial but I Hate fixing my meals with people around like if im cooking for/with someone thats different but otherwise it bothers m#so fucking bad. idc if ur back together with him yall just go to your side of the space please!!!!!!!#theyre never even doing anything that would necessitate being in the common areas like she has her own tv in her room that they watch so in#living room they just sit there on their phones. and I'm trying so hard to be polite abt it#but I dont want that man in my goddamn house for weeks without paying rent like .am I insane or does that truly just not make any sense#just realized I mistyped at beginning of this when I say since last year to clarify I mean since last aug when she moved in#anyways .guess I'll wait until they clear out to go eat which will prob be around four hours if precedent serves .🙃#vent#delete later
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dad just sent me an ominous text to intimidate me ig
#im so tired im so tired im so tired im so tired#i really dont want to be going through this right now#can we get on with the end of the world or literally anything it would be real nice hehe#im so tired#so much scary horrible things are happening rn#and it's obviously my fucking PARENTS#i can't keep going i dont want to it's so hard#i don't even know anything anymore idk who's in the right idk who's lying about what#uhhhh whatever whatever i need to sleep#but idk if I'll be able to ugh#dads just trying to ruin mom financially even though he's got enough money already and she can't fucking work#and i get the fucking. first row seat#and now he hates me too ig idk#why would he fucking send me that text of he didn't want to let me know hes furious with me or to#scare me idk fuck this#and I'm watching another horrible divorce with a close family member a#AND another fucking insane thing has been happening that's a huge problem ahaaaa im losing#my fucking mind here#and there's literally nothing i can do here like i can sit and take it#or die ig
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update: peach is doing very well!! she's eating and sleeping normally (sleeping more than normal, really, but that's to be expected)!! after 3 days of not sleeping and a few changes in painkillers, she finally just napped for an hr then, after another day, slept through the whole night (and most of the next day). she's started following all her usual routines again and is very keen to eat! still on some painkillers, but they're not having any horrific side effects anymore
now that im not staying up to keep an eye on her all night (while also dealing with upgrading my computer and my phone and also my sister preparing to go overseas and the dogs barking and howling constantly due to all of the above), i finally got some decent sleep too and slept for about 14 hrs. so today ive got that weird shakiness that i get from sleeping too much, but hey it's better than the whole of the last week
#personal#and i have a working computer that's finally on windows 10 so that's one less thing to have background stress about#and i have a working phone for the first time in.. a year? 1.5 years? idfk. my previous phone was 16gb so i could fit like 2 apps#could barely take pictures (and couldnt store them) and couldnt update most of my apps because i couldnt update my os because no space#so every app ran slow and then eventually my phone would crash if i opened the storage section of the settings#so i couldnt even offload apps so i could delete them while keeping the data for when i downloaded them again#couldnt order medicine remotely because my chemist only lets you do that from the app (not the website)#couldnt control the aircon because that could only be done through an app#missed loads of stuff because i didnt have email notifications because i could only use my browser for emails#couldnt see tumblr polls on mobile because i couldnt update tumblr because i couldnt update my os#left the house less because i had to delete pokemon go and that genuinely helped me go for walks#ive been dealing with all that for a year so this is very exciting and such a ridiculous qol boost#it sucks how much something like that affects your life. what do you mean i need an app for everythingggg#but god im just glad peach is ok. like there was a moment when i was so stressed trying to update my computer because it wasnt working#and then she ate a small bit of food for the first time in 3 days and just. everything was suddenly fine again#and the other night i spent like 6 hrs just sitting here downloading and installing things on my computer#but it was fine because peach was on the chair next to me sleeping through the whole night and it was such a relief#my sister finally got her flight yesterday (after it was moved four days in a row) so that's just one less thing happening#ive started playing bg3 so that's cool and maybe ill get a chance to actually properly watch that new dav trailer lmao#that premiered at 2am on the first night peach was home from surgery and hadnt eaten or slept yet and i was too stressed to care about dav#and it really just went downhill for the next few days#god. ok. today is the first day i can actually breeaaaathe
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ALSO WAIT SHIT. HI. gm!! i haven't been caught up on where u r in worm. u finished the s9 arcs n r on coil...... what happened to cherie came up, right? that happened? <- this isnt important or anything just curious bc it's a REALLY funny moment 2 me
THEY FUCKING PUT HER AT THE BOTTOM OF THE OCEAN DIDNT THEY!?!?!?!?!? THATS SO CRAZY . here u go let's crank up your power to a city scale and then give you body mods to survive under water so u can suffer. absolutely insane
#i mean im built different if that were me id be having the time of my life. hell yea give me underwater breathing or whatever#fuck the city im spending the rest of my life sitting here making friends w the fish :]#maybe they gave her a lobotomy or ehatever to mess with her power but STILL.#hehehehe. fucking rip to her i gueess#friends!!!#asks#intertexts#wormposting#hiiiiiii hi gmormingggg#im at work againnnnn hell on earth !!!!!!!!!!!!!#only gotta he here today and tomorrow. and then its mt BIRTHDAY and then i get to be off for TWO WHOLE DAYS IN A ROW can you imagine that.#this is gonna be my first Actual Weekend in 3 weeks. GOD#im gonna read so much worm..#also speaking of i just finished the chapter w the dragon suits imp captured piggot and made her tell them all to stand down#which!!!!! asnwers my question!!!!!! i was like wtf i thought dragon was off with her boytoy killing the s9.#but i guess it made sense that shed leave piggot with instructions to control the suits -_-
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don't care that edward is short in my head his sport of choice would be rowing
#straightforward sport you do the same thing over and over and give it your absolute all until you're almost dead he would thrive#projecting myself onto him so im making him the stroke. which i can do bc he is also first lieut#he strikes me more as sweep than sculls but i think any larger boat would work for him#heyy joplittle or fitzlittle rowing au anyone. nedward stroke and jfj or jopson cox. and ned is like fuck nooo how am i going to sit there#training for two hours. or worse. dying during a competition. in front of my fucking crush. kill me#obivously jopson and jfj especially do Not have cox stature but idgaf it's abt the idea#both of them could be bow as well but then they see Nothing of edward while on the water lmfao#jopson assistant coach?#aww but what if ned and crush decide to go for double sculls for once tgt outside of training regime and it's basically like. a date#the terror#niche aus for me specifically
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Hi! I don't know if you're a bit newer on tumblr but a lot of the stuff you put in comments on RBs would be much more suitable for the tags! For example when you put in comments just you agreeing with someone, that's something for the tags. Think of comments as you getting up on a big stage in front of everyone and saying something. It has to add to the OP– has to be witty, funny, informative, etc. Tags are for stuff like agreeing, little notes, stuff like that. Just thought I should let you know, since sometimes seeing your comments on some posts is a bit of a 'huh?' moment for me since I've realised a lot of them belong in tags rather than comments. I hope this doesn't sound snobbish, just thought I'd let you know a bit of tumblr etiquette and shit, haha.
ough i get where youre coming from anon thank you for your concern :D! 🫶
its just a habit of mine XD
cuz i picture it less like walking on a stag versus commenting in the back and more like youre sitting in a classroom the op is the teacher, reblog with comment is that kid that said it outloud for the class (everyone) and the tags are for you whispering to your friends (your followers) :D!!
#i sit upfront in my class and frequently chat with the teachers so :3#>:)#no not because im short i requested the seat >:(#cuz my eyesight is absolutely horrible i cant see if im not in the first 2 rows#hoodie’s ask#tenant
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my ass is not leaving this seat for the next couple hours
#im pretty good at getting somewhere in the first few rows usually but#im getting older... and more easily tired...#i just stood in line for 4 hours i just want to sit now
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when hyunjin said that he went one day to wod and saw minho dancing with his team from soul dance in 2016 before minho joined jyp and then they met in 2017 (jyp) and when seungmin said minho probably wouldn't have met the skz members if it wasn't bc they're in the same group now and minho said he would've met hyunjin. soulmatism.
#i could go on and on abt hyunho tbh#like the fact that they cant look at the other's eyes????? 😭#or when hyunjin used to tease minho abt his snow's selcas and then he was the one to ask him to post more of them#also when lino was begging hyunjin to made him a bracelet !!!! <3#or when lino looks at hyunjin with heart eyes (THERE'RE A LOT OF THESE) literally melting bc he has an ugly soft spot he cant even deny it#the fact that minho became the biggest clingy person when hyunjin came back from the hiatus like he missed him sm#that day when they went to see the first snow together????!!!#just minho always calling hyunjin his bf and that he wants to kiss him ok lino we get it 😭#btw hyunjin was the one to say he wanted to see the first snow with minho !!#when minho literally used bbl stays to tell hyunjin he wanted to watch spiderman with him 😭😭 DONT U HAVE HIS NUMBER PLS#and apparently they were together bc that same day they watched the first snow so...?#in nye when hyunjin woke up and sent a bbl saying minho was sleeping besides him and later minho sending a bbl saying he got the best sleep#also i have a soft spot for minho just delicately touching hyunjin's hair IM INSANE 👍🥶#btw minho didnt even dare to take his bracelet off even when hyunjin was on a hiatus :D#oh and when they had to quarantine and since they changed rooms they weren't together anymore and they facetimed for hours 😭#hyunjin likes spending time by himself and doing his stuff but minho doesn't want him to be alone so they go to eat tgt#the photobooth pics im so sad rn and i miss them :(#and when hyunjin said he liked go to theaters alone to watch a movie and minho (AGAIN) said ill go with u but sit in a different row#so when it finishes we'll go home together DUDE ?! i lov lino :(#also idk how many times has minho been to hyunjin's room just to watch him draw tbh but one time hyunjin talked him into drawing w him and#it was the cutest thing ever#they both love dancing !!!! and reading !!!!! my best friends#btw it was Serious for minho when hyunjin came back in 2021 everyone was like what's going on with them 😭😭 me too#anw yeah minho just being bold and flirting with hyunjin and hyunjin just giggling like 😭 GET UPPPP#also they always mention the other while they're live they think they're Me 🫤#they love each other sm and they're really special to me :(#no one gets hyunho like i do Truly 😔☝️#hyunho#skz
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hi guys
#rambles#abt to take a nap#anyway i cant believe i survived 8 hrs of agama thats crazy#im never doing that again#worst experience ever but it was actually fun ustazah is so funny and says the most out of pocket things 😭😭😭😭#it was bad bc i was called to answer 2 times…. first she called my name and she second time those sitting in the second row#which turned out to be me (again)#i kinda regret not getting lunch bc now im so hungry but imma get cheese naan tonight idcidcidc#gn
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missing buses by the skin of my teeth is an olympic sport and brother, I'm going for gold
#ace txt#three nights in a row i have literally missed it by my first bus sitting at a red light 30ft away from the stop#while my connecting bus passes thru the same intersection and leaves me#this also happens every afternoon but the buses come every 15min instead of every 45 so im not as grumpy about it then#also it's 10pm and i just wanna get home from work..... pls transit authority help me#anyway. i haven't late night ventposted about my commute in a while so here we are#also. it's POURING
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fancy tags are making me sad so as of rn, everything will be simpler. i just want to write and for some reason i always create smth that just's sucking the enjoyment with a biodegradable straw. until i find smth easier to tag that doesn't make the brain juice sad, i'll only tag the user.
#♱ vero stfu.#brain juice is now happy and thinking thoughts enough for me to respond to some stuff#also TRIGGER WARNING RANT AHEAD#irl i am always first to approach guys to talk about classes and whatnot#and today i was reminded why#the two girls i asked if the seat was taken said that it was (even though the seats ended up not occupied)#and there's this girl who has some health issues whom i offered to sit beside me since i was in front row#it's safe to say she walked away took a chair and stood like in the middle of the room#just so she wouldn't sit beside me#and whenever i try to talk to someone they look at me weird and dont say a word until i go away#at first i thought it was just inside my head the chronic anxiety and whatnot#but boy oh boy am i beginning to think i wasn't imagining things#a guy did sit with me and i could share my bad jokes so it wasn't exactly one of those days i dont say a word to anyone#but idk it just makes me second guess maybe smth is wrong with me#is this normal adult behavior im learning only after two decades???
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Everyone hope for a level up tonight, my bard still has 9 charisma
#wacky watermelons#dnd#this is up from my original 7 :]#i do have good con though#the only person in my party not even breaking a sweat during bosses#i think the party average is 45-50 and im sitting at a good 65#so. enthrall is a spell 👍#still a shit bard though. my dc is 10#i hit 1/4 attacks last fight#any usefulness in my ability is solely bc our dm thinks my character is fun and has vicious mockery scare off smaller enemies#so i am the first line of defense when we get randomly jumped#party member takes 20 damage and my max heal is 10. like hey guys how does uh. 5 sound?#but again. great damage sink. literally the opposite of a glass cannon#he goes out there. misses 5 times in a row. gets hit 3 times and still has more health than anyone else#and in case this is affecting how you think of me. do know that i am deeply embarrassed by my terrible shitty bard
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was starting to spiral but then i remembered im going to see dan mangan in 3 weeks and put his latest album on repeat and now im feelin so much better ^-^ love this man's music so freaking much
#this has been an original post#personal spewage#beautiful music#dan mangan#trying desperately to decide where i wanna sit this time#usually i go for either right beside the mixing booth or first row of the balcony#im so torn 😭#i also have no idea how early i should get there#but i figure since the show is sold out i should prolly get there earlier than usual#thats the only downside to GA tickets#you gotta actually show up early#oh well#its not like ive got anything else to do lol
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...
#hello darkness my old friend. I have insomnia again#it seems i wont get back to sleep. making this the 4th night in a row of 4 to 5hrs sleep. woof#is it insomnia or am i on the bleeding edge of hyp0mania? idk its weird. i can feel the strain in my head#my thoughts dont connect as well. its like im being pulled in two directions. my brain becoming spaghettified. growing thin around the#middle. but im not as tired as one might expect. ive been pretty productive and optimistic but anxiety and internal restlessness are up#like im tired but also i need to get up and pace around. maybe jump up and down. maybe run in circles.#the energy comes in waves. sitting in lectures or sitting for the extended addition of l0tr has been somewhat unbearable#bc im so contained. i would not ever get up and walk around while those things were happening but i desperately wanted to#ugh. whats my problem? who's to say. could also b the medication. i see the psychiatrist next week and i think ill beg to b put back on#lam1ctal. just bc when i was taking it on a super low does i had a week or feeling the most normal i think i ever have in my life#anxiety and evil thoughts were so small and i felt happy in a way im not sure i ever have been#like i think under normal circumstances i just have a low capacity for joy. at most i feel neutral. like i was telling my friends how i#might do some field work in winter and they were enthusiastic abt it and i kno y bc it sounds cool but idk i just dont feel anything abt it#i cant see past the pain it will take to get there. and i mean mood wise i feel alright on 4bilify like in a nutral way but stable isnt#the same as feeling happy. but maybe its all just in my head. 25mg lam1ctal shouldnt b enough to b effective#but idk i think im just sensitive to the chemicals in my body. including hormone fluctuations. idk. i hope she lets me switch.#itll b a pain in the ass to readjust in terms of going off what im on now and it might not work#but theres literature on retrying lamicta1 and they say to avoid inflammatory reactions in the first 2 months. which i did not do. oops#not that i was trying. i didnt think abt it until id had a million holes poked in my skin and was experiencing a mild tatt00 allergy#ugh. anyway. tbh id prefer this being hyp0mania vs insomnia bc then at least i can continue to function a bit during the day#ive never done anything that wild while hyp0manic aside from injure myself from over exercising and make bad choices in how i spend time#ie become insane abt something and not b able to think abt anything else. ugh. and i guess at this point ive tentatively accepted the idea#of being bip0lar. so i swear to christ if i was misdiagnosed ill b so mad. its just that if i fill out an 4dhd and bip0lar checklist. i#get a way heavy positive with bip0lar and the 4dhd is meh. so i think i just have overlap in symptoms due to dyslex1a and 4utism#ugh. me and my collection of diagnoses. so it goes#unrelated
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goodbye prof. roe i’ll miss your juicy ass next quarter
#sorry. actually no i’m not he does have a nice ass.#i sit in the first row + hes tall + walks around a lot + the aisles are narrow so when he goes to help classmates his ass is FREQUENTLY at#face level and its like HELLO HI..#unfortunately he suffers from medium white man syndrome but i still think hes cute. thats my damage tho i’m very aware im a loser#glasses left handed does casual fridays tall and very young for a professor..#anyways. i’m having severe anxiety abt classes rn and this is how i’m coping
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