#but im desperate i guess
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ok that was a new one
#trying to fall asleep half falling asleep and then instantly waking up in a cosmically dissociative state#that was not ok. it can't start happening to me without an adverse reaction to treatment ...#i can't remember when the other time in my life i experience a similar thing was....#one part of the brain fully awake but an entire other part still asleep and the rest conscious without it (NOT supposed to happen)#hellish stuff maan not ok not ok#i looked at my hands and recognized and understood them... but also recognized and understood the arbitrariness of their shape and number#and of the form of my mind and perception and place in time and errything.#cmon man you're only supposed to do that to people on random drugs not overstressed ppeople tryin to frickin sleep 😭#fuckin worst anxiety attack in a long LONG while fuckin hell.#i had to walk and wait for the rest of my brain to wake up and start perceiving so i could fuckin have the rest of my human context back#like where do you even hide man when the rest of your mind isn't there to run back to. it's like being stripped under the eye of sauron#the zones of my brain are too frickin detached and desynchronized i need to be neurologically sewn back together#i experienced temporary (~hourlong in ebbs and waves) broca's aphasia at treatment the other week. wild. and not ok#im gonna try tms again i think. it wasn't a silver bullet for me but it did help repair my cognition and memory and coherency for a bit...#til i lost it again at least#i miss josette. i played her game when rising on the brief crest of tms before my exhaustion started outweighing the few improvements#I'll revisit josette and sedona blue if i do that treatment again. J1 is too much of a slog to replay but J2 is a timeless precious gem#tms is so painful though it shocks my neuralgia#but im desperate i guess#ahahaahhh i need helppp. i ain bin this screwed since 2020 i think
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Ummm cringe rarepair alert!! Someone call the cringe police!!! Errmrmm!!!!
Literslly my ot3 and they have NO fanart I'm suffering out here..
Coughs extra doodle cause it makes me giggle
#guys please it would be so peak#imagine error being thrown in too#am i just shipping my favs together? maybe...#crink#cross x ink#cross x classic#ink x cross#ink x classic#classic x cross#classic x ink#oh boy guess i could just do every trio combo#here goes#cross x ink x classic#cross x classic x ink#ink x cross x classic#ink x classic x cross#classic x ink x cross#classic x cross x ink#sans au#sans#undertale au#undertale#sans undertale#underverse#utmv#THEY NEED A SHIP NAME ASAP I COULDNT THINK OF ONE#guys does anyone ship this im actuallt desperate I TRIED EVERY TAG#my art#chariixdoesart
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I told you I never stop thinking about merpearl
#I want there to be more yuri kiss art. There isnt enough. I guess I have to be the change I want. whaagh#I think Pearl is too awkward and clueless and horrified (because DL) to actually just kiss Gem like this (at least for awhile) but#mermaid pearl is built different. Still clueless though#I am so exhausted and I have much more important things to draw but Im sorry I had yuri in my system and I needed to get it out desperately#gempearl#shiny duo#hermitshipping#tubby art
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chilaios telepathy compilation. btw.
also these ones arent telepathy i just think its fun that they defend eachother + are on the same page about alchohol :
#chilaios#theres probably/definitely more instances of them doing telepathy but ive already stalled so much time for doing my work so#yall can add the ones i missed#dungeon meshi spoilers#????? i guess??????#anyways this is why im insane about that “laios... you get it right?!” line because like. he usually does get it. they get eachother.#theyve reached a point where they can have a whole PLAN sorted out by looking at eachother.#of course chil would desperately hope that LAIOS would be the guy to understand#laios the one chil understands. laios the one who tries so hard to understand chil. laios the one who brings chilchuck out of his spiraling#when no one else will.#of course HE would get it. of course. LAIOS will get it. LAIOS will see through that weird fake. he doesnt see him that way.#..........right?#OH i want to convert some people with this actually so im gonna main tag#dungeon meshi#dunmeshi#: ) hello dungeon meshi fandom. in front of you is a table with the papers required to convert into a chilaios shipper. you have 30 seconds#to sign them and if you dont i will personally apologize for wasting your time
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quality time with uncle Hands🥰
#god..............hands is so effing cool i wanna be JUST like him when im a grown up#also i guess the Hands floodgates have opened bc hes fun to draw actually#now if i can jst be happy w/ my chop design he's in desperate need of attention i can hear him scraping the inside of my brain to get out💀#tcm the game#texas chainsaw massacre the game#johnny slaughter#hands slaughter#learning to be Serial Killer Man meme template.jpg
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The bakugou crumb of him asking Deku if he still had the ember...when everyone is worrying over Ochako....
I'm sorry but that made me laugh because he has the most brainrot of all of us
#bnha spoilers#bakudeku#bakugou katsuki#HEAD EMPTY ONLY IZUKU#literally dude running up with his classmates i guess and hes like BUT YOUR QUIRK IZUKU??#hes so desperate for forever i s2g#at least he came#at least he is involved with his class now im so proud of him#the old kacchan wouldnt rven have come
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last post before i crash does anyone remember that one manga panel that canonizes watari having a family who doesn’t know about the L stuff or did i wholesale make that up
#i thought it was right after he dies but i guess not???#watari death note#watari#quillsh wammy#these tags are how you know im truly desperate#actually fuck it:#death note
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truly so funny to me that the awesome action heroes are constantly referring to each other by their real world names IN the movie (especially izzy, unsurprisingly, but like. paula literally name drops liv in front of all the sidewinders and NO ONE questions it. even in her intro sequence she mentions HERSELF to kochiusko. don’t even get me started on the hotel bar scene in ep2. usha the old lady from the store…) but they face zero consequences for this until brennan decides to make paula slam poetry her fake son back to life. five episodes in. absolutely insane i love this season so much
#wow reese nsbu posting… who could’ve guessed…#izzy/paula going ‘you knew frickin liv!’ in a desperate attempt to get the sidewinders to know who jack manhattan is has been looping in my#brain since i started my rewatch. yes this is bc of the comps im making but still#also liv says wendell’s name several times when they first meet up. in the middle of kingskin’s bar and everything#like truly dang and russell are the only ones who waited until they were alone to figure anything out#god. nsbu ep3 the deluxe royale you will always be famous?#no question mark. i’m too tired to retype that#and ep2 and that’s whirred up. i had the tags in a different order at first and that did make sense#anyway it’s 11pm but also like 6am so i am. gonna sleep now#dimension 20#d20#never stop blowing up#nsbu
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One makes him up, so the other can break him down.
This is a little terrifying but hello!! Posted my first fic on ao3!! I would've saved the illustrations for the fic's eyes only, but I'm too happy with them haha. Hope you'll still go on to read regardless!!
As always, my thoughts and progress, since I can't help myself:
I'm soooooo proud of these. I never ever really do dramatic lighting, so I'm really surprised that I pulled it off.
It's surreal actually posting this because for a while, I've thought about how if I ever post a fic, I'll have to make illustrations too because I can't do anything not full force. Look at me now! I'm shocked. Also didn't think I'd finish it tonight, but here it sits before you nevertheless(though as always, I'm writing this past my bedtime before class, time efficient as always.) So with that being said, here are some notes, though if I had known I'd be writing this so soon, I would've prepared more lol.
First of all, I hope it's clear both of these are Mark's perception. Gah, the fact that his face is the only one you can see clearly. The first is obviously him unwillingly fantasizing about what exactly went down last night.
Aghhhhh the difference in colors and settings of the two drawings is so important to me. The warmth and intimacy of the bed behind curtains in the first one, and the coldness and openess of the second. It's so clear Mark feels like he's been distanced, like he's been ousted. It's like he's been thrown outside on a cold winter's day, no longer able to feel the heat from the comfortable warm stove inside.
Mark was probably assigned to Seb bcs he has a much greater appreciation for the Spanish etiquette, which Seb has very little interest in. He'll abide by it when he absolutely has to. But he's just a very non-typical Emperor. People find it charming so it's not a public death sentence for him, but it is an issue. Thus, Mark is there to keep him in line. Though important to note that when Fernando, who has an equal if not greater respect for the showmanship of etiquette, realizes Mark is interested in that as well, they start warming up to each other.
The inherent disrespect of Fernando just. Throwing Seb's clothing onto the floor. Meanwhile he probably took like, 20 minutes folding his up(that's what Seb was gonna tell Mark at the end of the fic.) Borderline ripping off Seb's clothes only to edge him. Its not even like the ripping off the clothes is because of passion or anything, he's deliberately being an asshole. Don't worry Nandl, Seb's turned on by it!
So sorry to marknando fans if their dynamic feels like a complete 180 haha. Its not like I'm like, they actually hate each other!! It's just their relationship under completely different circumstances. They're like two dogs in a dog fight, they don't have any real reason to hate each other, but they're put against each other regardless. They don't understand their hatred, just know that they have it and that they're supposed to have it. The inherent hatred the mistress has for the spouse, and vice versa. If they actually were able to talk without barriers, they'd realize they actually get along pretty well. They kinda just hate each other because of their respective relationships to Seb. And then there's Seb who's mostly completely oblivious to his effect, though of course plays with it a bit.
Seb's marriage completely recontextualizes their relationship in Mark's eyes. Though there's something incredibly sado-masochistic about the way he can't blame Seb for it at all. He's a loyal dog after all. But when it was just them, he was obviously Seb's main companion and lover. Seb definitely slept with people on the side, but Mark brushed that off: 1. Bcs its very period typical. 2. He was the main, they were the side, what more needs to be said! But now *he's* the side piece, and is left wondering if their relationship was down to proximity alone. Not to pull a Mark and completely excuse Seb, but it's not. Just very different perceptions of love and relationships. And again, as I've mentioned before, he was raised to always be the most important person in the room, so he obviously has very different understandings, especially since he's always the center.
NANDL!!!!!! In my Habsburg book I've been reading lately, they randomly referred to one of them affectionately as "Nandl" and it's stuck in my head ever since. Can we start a movement to canonize that as an official Fernando nickname? I'm sooooo fond of it, I litrally ended the fic that way just so I could shoehorn that nickname in.
Speaking of the ending. It was really tough, I almost wanted to have Fernando burst in, looking for his ring, and then coming across whatever that is. But I didn't want to disrupt their moment anymore, it felt cruel. Though shame I couldn't mention that the reason why Seb's pants are nowhere to be found is because Fernando accidentally put them on and didn't realize till he was out of the room.
*I FORGOT TO POINT OUT ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS! Truly the danger of writing a post while falling asleep. There's something so incredibly funny to me the way they're talking so refined and then Seb just throws out: "that guy." It's a way to show his own disrespect of Fernando, not even using his name, implying he's just some guy(nur ein Kerl.) I laughed writing it cause it reminds me of the random dry humor anecdotes I've read lately.
#GAAAHHH WHY DO I ALWAYS WRITE THESE WHEN I START FEELING SLEEP DIZZY#haha anyways. first fic!!! so terrified icl#i really cant tell if this makes sense or appeals to anyone but me#BUT I LIKE IT AND THATS ALL THAT MATTERS#im ngl i started feeling way too existential and self critical of it so i somehow pushed myself to finish it despite#working on it w a lot of delay and fuss for the month prior#yay for being anxious and self hating i guess....?#waugh anyways please reblog/comment and let me know what you think!!!!!!!#im desperate to know how others perceive this slddsfjls#though im a little scared this fic is too mean LOL#f1#formula 1#mark webber#sebastian vettel#fernando alonso#catie.art.#boy king au#sebmark#martian#vettonso
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i hope you guys understand my vision
#not every hermit is on here. if they didn’t fit any of the six categories i didn’t want to force it#i guess other “genres” not included here would be: abba. childrens music (wheels on the bus etc). jazz.#locus fandom time#shitpost#hermitcraft#mcyt#hermitblr#xbcrafted#<- hes the only one im maintagging because im DESPERATE to know if the xb fans agree with me. you see where im coming from right?#“e girls are ruining my life” is That corpse song btw#if you want to hear my explanations on these. just ask. I have thought all of these through.#like some of them are just “the cc likes this music a lot” (xisuma wels doc) but most of them I have a lot of character thoughts on#hermitcraft memes
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I really need help
i absolutely hate to have to do this but i really have no other option at this point, i really need help, please see under the cut
i tried to make the payment for my car insurance a week ago and the atm just took the money and didnt process the payment i filed a report with the bank and they said its be ready today, im here at the bank and they keep telling me they dont have any report at all under my name even tho i called and on the phone they said its was ready for pick up but no one here is helping me
point is i really need to make that payment it was around 800 dollars at first but now with interest its around 900 and the more i wait the more it will go up and i simply cant afford that, i could barely afford the regular payment to begin with
I know we’re all probably going through a hard time but if you could help me sharing this or buying something from my redubble or even helping me through p*ypal i’d really really appreciate it
Thank you so much in advance, i am desperate
My redbubble (x)
P*ypal (x)
#i really have no other options and im desperate#i just want to cover the insurance and i guess the service can wait as long as i dont ise the car much#mutual aid#signal boost#sb
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i climbed the fence, the one that you've been sitting on
#mine#jthm#jthm jimmy#jthm johnny#blood#theres probably a ship name i'll desperately regret hearing and wish not to use for these two#but im not gonna tag it for reasons you can probably intuit (delaying psychic damage)#anyway i was talking to my qpp about how i usually draw johnny with huge stylised eyes cuz he looks weird whithout them to me#and then decided to try drawing him in my normal style#also theres knifeplay i guess#and jimmys here#hmm...#song is swing by taking back sunday
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im so obsessed with faulkner and carpenter's dynamic. this whole argument was so good. i love when characters are at each others throats but they're forced to stick together because of external circumstances but they still have so much contempt for each other and aaaaaa yay yippee ❤️❤️
#eloise talks#eloise listens to the silt verses#idk if im gonna post much of this but i guess ill make it a tag just in case#ngl i think after ffxiv's inability to let anyone actually hate each other in dawntrail im so desperate for media with CONFLICT
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Vote mob in the @autismswagsummit and support this emotionally repressed, academically challenged and terrifyingly powerful autistic 14 yo and his gaggle of overenthusiastic friends today..!!! (Or. Today as in when the voting starts again ig)
[ID: three drawings of Mob from Mob Psycho 100 interacting with one character in each concerning the autism swag summit.
The first one is a comic of him and Ritsu. In the first panel, Ritsu is clutching his phone so tight it's shaking, the screen showing the result of the Donnie vs Kris poll wherein Donnie had won. The background is a purple gradient, and he says "no..." The next panel, the background a darker purple with wavy swirls, shows Ritsu hunched over, hair falling over his shadowed eyes, teeth grit as he continues "no- this can't be...! I won't allow it, no, no-". He gets interrupted with "Ritsu, are you alright-" and the final panel brightens to a pastel peach, Ritsu looking back, distraught, at Mob, yelling "YOU'RE GONNA LOSE AT AUTISM NII-SAN". Mob, who is simply standing there, in his gym shorts and a half tucked in pink shirt, holding a glass of milk, replies "h?"
The second image is one done in red and green tones, of Dimple and Mob. Mob sits at his desk with a tired expression, one hand curled to his temple as he does his homework, Dimple hovering over him with his fists balled, as he says, "Do you want me to go beat that guy up?". Mob replies, "No, Dimple." Dimple continues, "I follow you 24/7 so I know more than anyone how much you should win this." Mob replies, "That's creepy. Just help me with my maths homework, Dimple."
The third is of Reigen and Mob. Mob has a finger raised, his aura coating his hand, as he looks back tiredly at Reigen, who has one hand on his hip and the other on Mob's shoulder, smiling cockily and sweating slightly. The background a simple light yellow, the both of them colored in pastel pinks and illuminated by a teal light that comes from Mob's power. Reigen says, "It's okay, Mob, no matter what, you're still my #1 autism." Though the annotation beneath his words, pointing to him, clarifies, "has no idea what's going on." End ID.]
#autismsummit2023#mob psycho 100#mp100#kageyama shigeo#kageyama ritsu#dimple mp100#reigen arataka#ekubo mp100#art#comic#described#tumblr polls#my own art#my own post#alternate caption: vote mob or ritsu is gonna cry and sob and bite someone .probably /j#auuuu i have more art i want to do for this.... a whole 4 page comic actually that im taking way too seriously most notably jdgdjnd#i just. dont have the time to finish it in time before the next round starts. thatll be for part two i guess#desperately hoping mob is still in next week so i can post it as propaganda for the final round#also. i knowwhw ive barely been posting anything else. augh#ive simply been having a Time and this is a thing that actually is. somewhat time sensitive?? so im determined to post about it#its not the only thing on my brain i promise jdgdj#in fact i have been getting into. fucking danny phantom of all things recently for some reason???#anyways#im rambling sorry. brain mush. ill stop now lmao have good days n nights everyones#oh also o7 to the donnie supporters#i geniunely really fear you lol. you lot are. Very determined#so much propaganda gosh...#honestly i wouldnt be that dissapointed if donnie won over mob ig? cause donnie is very pog too and i know hes important to a lot of you#just like how mob is important to us. even if ive not yet watcher rottmnt#and yeah hes. good!!! also!!! still supporting my son mobbles tho. may we meet fair and square and respectful in the battle field
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"This is more about your ego and pride than Palestine" No its about putting pressure on a party that is supporting genocide
It's about logic
Biden and the DNC would rather cause dissent and dissatisfaction within their own party rather than call for a ceasefire
They know they can get away with it because they're a better option than Trump, because they know they could murder babies in front of you and you'll still vote for them.
So why would they call for a ceasefire when they don't need to?
That's why putting the pressure on them, saying they won't get our vote or saying we are looking for other options is so important.
Because that's the only way they will change.
By saying "Vote Blue No Matter Who", you give him and the DNC permission to permit genocide despite the vast majority of public opinion. You say they can do whatever they want because you will vote for them anyways.
You tell them they don't need to do anything else. That in fact they can do whatever they want. You've shown them you are so terrified of your own government that you would rather lie down and let it walk all over you than put any pressure on them at all
They have a year to make a change. Biden could end this all tomorrow, but why would he when he has you doing his dirty work?
#there is nothing to be proud of here there is no ego here#if anything i am deeply ashamed that my vote and my country has allowed this to get so bad and that my tax dollars have led to this#i didnt read the whole ask because it was abother essay but if you are implying im voting third party because of an ego you are part of#the problem here#but im sad because so many people i thought were friends or people i admired have shown they dont actually care abouot the world#if it were my country's people that biden was funding a genocide against they would still expect me to support it#i want desperately to never think about politics or any of this but when millions of lives are directly at the mercy of my government#the least i can do is not give them a pat on the back and look away for my own comfort#at least in finding out who to block and unfollow i guess#us politics#joe biden
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We are almost half way there only 12 more days (and 67 minutes) till Christmas can you believe it in only 3 weeks 2050 will be closer than the year 2000. Also Christmas Sharks aka the only Christmas decoration in my room.
#christmas#blahaj#Christmas Blahaj I guess#Im desperately awaiting the 26.12 so I can change my pfp to something else
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