#trying to fall asleep half falling asleep and then instantly waking up in a cosmically dissociative state

[kirbyddd]

ok that was a new one

[delos-mio]

Out of the Woods - College!AU - PART 2

A/N: Part 2! I hope you enjoy this chapter. No major warnings apply! Thoughts, feelings, predictions always welcome <3

***

After dropping you off that evening, Nikolai found his mind to be running a mile a minute. It was 1am, relatively early by college standards, but he had no desire to go back to the party and no desire to go home. Instead, he walked around campus until his feet throbbed. He thought about your smile and your laugh, the way you bit your lip and the way you toyed with the ends of your hair. He thought about how you could very well be in the arms of another man right now.

He could have lived without that mental image.

It seemed wild to him that you could make so many feelings flood back to him in such a short amount of time. It hit him like a ton of bricks the moment you locked eyes, and it was instantly like the last 5 years of silence never even happened. God, he wished they never happened. How could he have been so cruel? Who just up and left the person they were very clearly falling in love without a trace? Nikolai, that’s who. And under the penetrating glow of the moon, for the next six or so hours, Nikolai hated himself for it.

Nikolai quietly tried to sneak back into the apartment he shared with Aleks around 7am. Generally, he was a pretty heavy sleeper, so he figured it’d be no problem. As the front door clicked shut behind him, another door clicked open inside the apartment. Alina, clad in only one of Aleks’s shirts, exited his room and immediately jumped upon seeing Nikolai. He quickly averted his eyes and turned his attention to the ceiling, trying to look anywhere but at the half-naked girl before him.

“So, I take it he wasn’t too upset I left the party early?” he asked before she blushed and quickly padded down the hall to the bathroom.

Nikolai pushed his hair back from his face and shook his head. Of course Aleks had company. He made his way to his room and let the back of his knees hit the mattress, flopping onto his back. His eyes fluttered shut as he mulled over the events of the evening. He knew he needed to turn his brain off and actually try to get some sleep, but that was still proving to be rather difficult. As he was getting lost in his own thoughts, he was interrupted by his door being flung open and Aleks leaning in his door frame.

“Do you mind? I’m really tired,” Nikolai grumbled, still not opening his eyes.

“You dog! You got home later than me,” he said with a smile evident in his voice.

“It’s not like that. You’ll notice I didn’t bring anyone home with me, now did I?” Nikolai was starting to get irritated by his roommate’s presence and hoped he’d leave him in peace and quiet sooner rather than later.

“Maybe not. But you could have. Seemed like you and Genya’s new roommate had something going on,” he pried.

“Can you fuck off? Respectfully?”

“Alright, alright. I’ll let you sleep. But you’re gonna tell me about her when you wake up.” With that, Nikolai heard his door shut again, leaving him in the stillness of his room. He fell asleep half hanging off the bed where he landed with the girl who got away on his mind.

----

When you woke up the next morning, Nikolai was still fresh on your mind. The way he smiled, the way he smelled…everything about him haunted your dreams. It didn’t even take a full minute before the guilt settled in. Jesus Christ, what were you thinking? Did Matt cease to exist because your first love cropped up out of nowhere? You just started flirting with Nikolai again like it was as easy as breathing. But you couldn’t help yourself—Nikolai had worked his way into your head instantly just like he had when you were 17. Like the first time you saw him take off his helmet, shake out his perfect, golden hair, and skate to the bench. It had been a wrap since that moment. You groaned into your pillow, feeling a little nauseous and a lot guilty. After freshening up and pulling a sweatshirt on, you wandered out into the living room of your apartment with Genya where she was eagerly chatting with Zoya over a cup of coffee.

“Fancy seeing you here, ditcher,” Genya teased as you grabbed a mug for yourself.

“I didn’t ditch,” you said. “Nik told you guys we were leaving.”

“Where’d you end up anyways?” Genya asked with a tiny smirk. This line of questioning amused Zoya and she gladly joined in on the antagonizing.

“I can only assume, knowing him, that you ended up somewhere more...private,” Zoya interjected.

“It wasn’t like that. I um, we ended up just going to get some food. Catch up or whatever,” you said while you shot daggers at Genya. You paused to take a sip of the too-hot drink before continuing. “Where have you been hiding Nikolai anyways?”

“He ain’t hiding- have you met the dude? I met him during Freshman orientation. Zoya and I lived in the dorm room next to him and Aleks,” she said as a matter of fact. “We’ve been hanging out ever since. Real good guy.”

“I know,” you sighed, pushing around a pen that was left on the coffee table.

“You like him! Oh man, I’m sorry, I didn’t even think about him being totally your type. You and your pretty boys. Mhmm, I bet he liked you too,” Genya teased and smiled again.

“No, he’s just an old friend,” you lied. “I have a boyfriend.”

“Could have fooled me,” Zoya mumbled, but you caught it. The comment did nothing to ease the growing knot in your stomach.

“Seriously. He’s my friend. I kinda got carried away with the flirting last night, but I was so excited to see him, you know?” You looked at them both, silently pleading with them to let it drop. “We’re just friends. Nothing else.”

“That may be true now, but the dude has it bad for you. I saw the way he looked at you, dude,” Genya said softly, finally sympathetic to your anguish. “Can I ask how you know each other? Besides ‘high school or something’?”

“We didn’t even go to school together.” You leaned back into the cushions, letting your focus drift away from the girls across from you. “My parents own an ice rink in my hometown and I’d work the concession stand when I got out of school- do my homework and pour hot chocolate or whatever. Nik played hockey with his high school team there.” You smiled to yourself. “I saw him come off the ice one day and thought he was the most handsome boy I’d ever seen. And one night, he walked right up to me after practice and started talking to me like we’d known each other forever. I didn’t have a ton of friends in school and hadn’t really been noticed by boys like...ever. So to have this super hot dude flirting with me was wild.”

“Oh my god, was Nik your first crush?” Genya squealed.

“I’d had a couple guys that caught my eye before him, but he was the first guy I really liked. First guy I kissed. First guy I…” you trailed off, letting the pause speak for itself.

“No wonder he was so happy to see you,” Zoya said.

“He kinda ghosted me when he left for college and I hadn’t talked to him since the last night we were together. I was too scared to try and find him on Facebook or anything. I didn’t want to see him with other girls hanging all over him and hurt my own feelings, you know?” Genya and Zoya exchanged a sympathetic look. “Anyways, that’s about it. Pretty boring stuff.”

“Babe…”

“I gotta start getting ready for work,” you said, abruptly standing and putting your mug in the sink. “I’ll see you guys later.” With that, you shuffled out of the room, hoping neither of them caught the hitch in your voice. So, maybe you weren’t as over that ghosting as you thought you were.

----

The weekend passed with a lot of idle time thinking about when you could possibly see Nikolai again. You were really regretting not scrawling your number somewhere for him. It was torture not knowing how to find him again outside of groveling to Genya, or hoping dumb luck would make you run into him.

You made it to Monday morning and somehow managed to make it to your 8:30 am class on time; a rare feat for you. Thankfully, the class was all engaged in a lively discussion of what constituted a modern classic novel, so it was easy to stay alert and engaged. Before you knew it, your professor was dismissing you and reminding you all about the paper that was due on Thursday. You shuffled down the stairs of the academic building and paused once you got to the quad. Normally, you’d head home for a few hours before your afternoon class, but you had a little time to spare today before your study group. But you also had Nikolai’s face burned in your mind. Would it be totally weird to try to find him?

The building that housed Science and History was only a quarter mile from your classroom, so you made quick work of the walk and tried to hype yourself up, telling yourself that it was normal to want to see him this bad- you’d missed out on a few years there! Of course you wanted to see your friend. When you got inside, you realized you had no idea where you were going. You had yet to take any sort of History class while at school and had absolutely no idea if he was even in class at this time. God, this was seeming like a dumber and dumber idea the more you walked around. After wandering aimlessly for a minute, you saw a familiar head of effortlessly messy golden hair slink out of a classroom.

Immediately, your eye was drawn to him. You were thankful he didn’t notice your presence because you were definitely staring. All weekend, you were sure you had a picture-perfect vision of him in your head, but you were abruptly reminded that he was much more handsome than you could dream up. He had traded in his button down shirt from the other night for a cozy looking grey sweater. You allowed yourself one more moment to admire him from afar before you approached. But Nikolai had turned to face you straight on, face lighting up the moment he saw you.

“I was wondering when you’d come around.” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“So, you don’t think I’m crazy for wandering around a building I’ve literally never set foot in, hoping by cosmic timing you’d be here?” you smirked.

“I promise you, I don’t think you’re crazy. I mean, I was considering doing something quite similar myself,” You couldn’t stop the heat that started to rise in your cheeks.

“So, where are you headed now?” you asked, rocking on your heels.

“Well,” he pondered, “I was going to meet Aleks at The Moose if you’re walking that way.”

“I’m not, but I have a couple minutes before I have to be at my study group if you want to sit outside,” you offered.

“Of course, darling,” he grinned, hazel eyes playful as you found a bench next to the bike rack. “How was your weekend?”

“Not bad,” you shrugged. “I had to work both days, but it was pretty slow, so no complaints. I only got grilled by Genya and Zoya a little. It could have been a lot worse,” you smiled.

“They do love any information they can get their little hands on,” Nikolai said, leaning back into the bench. “You...didn’t see Matt at all?” he probed, trying with all his might to look and sound nonchalant, but failing.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Can I not take an interest in you?” he asked with gentle eyes, but you just glowered.

“No. I didn’t see Matt this weekend. We haven’t even talked since Friday, honestly,” you said. Nikolai didn’t interject at all, just looked at you to go on, if you felt like sharing. “We haven’t really been getting along lately. He’s a nice guy and all, but I don’t know how much we have in common. And he never seems to have time for me unless it’s on his terms. Like, he expects me to be available whenever it works for him, but he’s always conveniently busy if I ask him to do anything with me.” You kicked at a rock near your toe, eyes fixed on the ground, totally unsure why you just told Nikolai all that.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” he said sincerely. “I’m saying this as your friend,” he started, making you look in his eyes again. “You deserve someone who understands what a gift it is to spend time with you.” It was so simple, but it made tears instantly spring in your eyes. “Hey. Hey, now. None of that,” he smiled, thumbing a tear away. “Would you maybe want to come over Friday? Get pizza and watch a movie or something?”

“That sounds really nice, Nik,” you nodded. It was then he broke into a blinding smile and you were unable to stop the swirling in your belly.

“Could I—would I be able to get your number? So I can send you my address or whatever,” he added quickly; you were really starting to love seeing him get flustered.

“I think that’s a good idea, yeah.” You reached for some scrap paper and pencil from your bag and scribbled down your number, placing it in the palm of his large hands before standing up. His fingers just barely brushed yours as he took the paper before stowing it away in the front pocket of his jeans. “You can always use that number before Friday too, if you want,” you said with a sly smile and patted Nikolai’s cheek gently. His laugh carried a bit as you walked opposite directions out of the quad, your feet feeling like they were being carried by tiny, pink fluffy clouds.

Fuck. Did you just set up a date with Nikolai? No. No, not a date. Just two friends eating pizza and watching movies. Friends did that all the time.

But as you walked to the cafe where your study group met, there was a crashing wave of guilt that washed over you. What the fuck were thinking? All you were doing was playing with fire, practically begging fate to burn you. You were mentally beating yourself up, feeling like a total shit bag as you pushed open the door to the small cafe, seeing your group already gathered and breaking off into pairs, Matt beaming at you when you came into view.

“Hi, baby,” he said, kissing your cheek as you sat down next to him.

“Hey,” you smiled back with tight lips, hardly able to look at him.

You started going through notes for an upcoming Logic and Reasoning exam, but you found yourself unable to process anything you were reading. Your mind was elsewhere and you only managed half-hearted affirmations and hardly contributed any correct answers. Here Matt was, sweet and excited to see you. He was good, he was nice. Maybe you just needed to make more of an effort with him. Should he really want to do the things you wanted to do, or were you being selfish? You weren’t sure.

“Something wrong?” he asked suddenly, snapping you from your thoughts.

“Just don’t feel good, that’s all,” you shrugged, looking back at your notebook and computer. He accepted that answer and didn’t probe any further.

“So, you should come over Friday. I don’t have anyone else to hang out with and thought we could hang out,” he said into your ear, hand gripping your thigh.

“Can’t,” you said with a shake of your head. “I already have plans.”

“Oh there’s a surprise,” he said, half under his breath. And that...that was it. You immediately slammed your pen onto the table and looked at him with hard eyes.

“Would you just say whatever you’re trying to fucking say?” you seethed.

“Just seems awfully convenient that every time we’re supposed to do anything, suddenly you have plans with I don’t even know who” he said, clearly annoyed. “All I’ve done is try to accommodate you and do what you want, but that doesn’t seem to be enough,” he added with a melodramatic sigh, which was more than enough to set you off.

“Oh, that’s a fucking joke, right?” you laughed. “Maybe you’d know more about my schedule if you ever bothered to talk to me more than once a week. And you literally just said I should come over because no one else can! Like, I’m your girlfriend- I shouldn’t be your last ditch option,” you scoffed. “You know what? I can’t be here right now. Call me when you’re ready to rejoin all of us in reality.” With that, you grabbed your bag and stormed out the door, letting your feet take you quickly in any direction that was simply away. No, you were right about what you said to Nikolai- Matt only saw you as convenient.

Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

[platonicone]

Devotion - Story of the Oracle and her Shield

Chapter 16 - Addicts

When your cure becomes your disease, how can you live? I wonder…

“I concur with your thoughts. Wish as I may, deviating from my duties, feels wrong to me as well. I guess we are at an impasse now. Can’t live with each other, can’t live without.”

“I know being close to you is bad in a long run, but I still want to keep doing it. The more I stay away from you the more I want to get close to you. Case in point, last night when you got scared, I let go of all my inhibitions and came right back to you.”

“Same for me. I clung onto you last night as if my life depended on it. Even though we both know how this ends, we still keep coming back for more.”

Upon hearing that, Squall suddenly chuckled.

“What?” She raised an eyebrow.

“I think we are addicts.”

“What do you mean?”

“When someone is addicted to let’s say smoking, they know that it is bad for their health, but they still can’t stop themselves from doing it.”

“That does sound like us,” she remarked, placing her hand on her head. “Yes, we are both addicts and our choice of drug is lo…” she did not finish the sentence.

“What do you think we should do?” he asked earnestly, after a brief silence.

“It’s not an easy answer as I have been thinking about it for a while. In my travels, as the Oracle, I have learned that on their deathbed people often regret about things they didn’t do rather than things they did. Today morning I asked myself a simple question: What would I regret the most? And I realized that one thing I would regret the most would be destroying one dream to chase another and to wake up someday and find out that neither of them were real.”

“I don’t get it,” he honestly admitted.

“Being with Noctis was always my dream. Even though deep down inside I knew that it would always remain just a dream, it still never discouraged me from chasing it,” her face was projecting various emotions all at once.

“Similarly, being with you feels like a dream. I was all alone in this world. No parents, brother or even my love by my side and out of nowhere a guy come into my life and becomes my guardian angel. He protects me from the wrath of Astral and an army of the entire nation. He shares my pain and suffering and brings me joy and happiness in return and expects nothing from me. Tell me if all this does not sound like a dream.”

“When you put it that way, it does,” he nodded.

“I know someday when you are gone, I’ll wake up from this dream. But until that day comes, I want to keep dreaming. I want to enjoy this dream for as long as I can and not wake up. I don't want to end one dream to chase another. I don’t want to destroy my present to safeguard my future, which I may not even have. That is what I would regret the most.”

“Interesting,” he said, still trying to wrap his head around it all.

“There are some dreams you never want to wake up from,” Luna commented, looking at Leon. "How about you? What do you propose we do?”

He too had been thinking a lot about what to do next about their complex relationship. There were many things he thought he should do. However, all his thinking, concluded in one sentence Luna had said to him a while back: when you love someone, their happiness is all that matters to you, not your sacrifice for it.

With that in mind, he asked, “What will make you happy?”

Without a moment of hesitation, Luna replied, “Our time together in Lestallum was among some of my happiest memories. We had so much fun, we goofed around, teased each other, and fought by and against each other. We were relaxed and carefree, enjoyed the world around, and taking on the world one day at a time. Those times are what I yearn for the most. Being the way, we were back then is what would give me the most joy and happiness.”

“Then that’s what we’ll do. I’ll try my best to be your Leon and not Squall,” he said, looking at her with a half-smile.

‘Being your Leon hurts Luna. But if my pain can bring you happiness, then that’s what I’ll do. I’ll put a smile on my face even when my heart bleeds.’

“No,” she shook her head vigorously. It was a reaction that Leon did not expect. “You should only be Leon if YOU want, not because I want you to be. You should be Leon only if it gives YOU happiness. I know it’s hard for you too. If you can’t be Leon, then I’ll just learn how to lov—appreciate Squall,”

“I want to be Leon,” he reassured.

“Then it’s settled; we will try to be like that again,” she replied, with a genuine smile.

“Just know that, try as we may, it will always be different now,” Leon remarked, setting the expectation.

“Different is fine; being indifferent is what I am afraid of,” she confessed.

He nodded in response. “Why must things be so complicated with us?”

“Because we make it so?” she said with resignation.

“All this thinking is hurting my head. Care if we listen to something less depressing and more upbeat, like the news?” he suggested, putting his right hand on his forehead.

She busted out in laughter, “You find news to be uplifting?”

“Yes. News is just a compilation of things that other people messed up. They talk about topics like war, oppression, daemons and such, you know, less depressing stuff compared to feelings and emotions.”

“You can be so weird sometimes. There is a war going on out there and you find that less depressing than this?” she remarked with a facepalm.

“Think about it. War, oppression, and such are very logical and tangible in nature. You can find a cause and its effect in most cases easily. Feelings and emotions, on the other hand, are intangible and often illogical. That is why I hate them. For instance, both of us know the logical course of action in our situation yet we choose to reconcile because of feelings.”

“Point taken,” she agreed and switched the radio station to news bring solace to Leon.

“I guess I’ll take a nap. My head hurts too from all this,” she commented, reclining her seat back and making herself comfortable.

She quickly fell asleep as newscast gave company to Leon on this drive. The newscaster announced:

And now for the weather. There is not a cloud in sight. The temperature would hover around 70 and would fall at night. But, be sure to stay up late tonight. Today we are expecting one of the biggest meteor storms in our recorded history. Our planet would pass through Leonid stream which would produce a staggering rate of approximately 40 meteors per second (144,000 m/hour). It was over a century ago that we had such a cosmic event. Expect the meteor shower to start at 1 a.m. and last until 1:45 a.m.

“Hmm,” he said, registering the time mentally.

Next we will air a special segment on the history and science behind such a meteor storm.

Eventually, they arrived at Cape caem. Leon pulled over and quietly exited the car as Luna was still asleep. He left the car running so AC and air circulation was not a problem while he was gone to finish his errands.

He returned after half an hour and immediately entered panic mode when he did not see Luna in the car. An irrational fear set in as he looked around the car for any foul play. His eyes scanned the area looking for Luna.

He asked the locals if they had seen Luna. While chatting with one of the locals, his eyes caught a glimpse of Luna walking towards him.

Once she was close enough, he said, “You scared me.”

“I didn’t even do anything,” she defended, confused by the sudden accusation.

“When I came back you were gone,” he revealed, leaning against the car, “and I panicked.”

“Sorry, I didn’t know you would get scared so easily,” she commented with a smile, as her heart danced with joy seeing how much he still cares for her. “I just went to for a walk.”

He sighed and shook his head. It was unlike him to overreact like this, but here he was.

“There is an abandoned hideout over there. There is someone I’d like you to meet.”

“Who is it?”

“I meet a couple of Crownsguard on my stroll. Let’s see what they have to say.” She said walking towards the lighthouse.

“Do they know who you are?” He asked, following her.

“I don’t believe so. I told them we are Hunters deployed by Hunter HQ.”

“Good.”

Once they entered the hideout, a middle-aged woman with short gray hair greeted them. She wore a black blouse over a white shirt, and a necklace around her neck.

“Hello, I am Monica Elshett,” she greeted him.

“Leon,” he introduced himself.

It seemed like Luna and Monica already knew each other from their earlier encounter.

“Thank you for bringing processed mithril, all the way from Lestallum.”

As they were chatting, a middle-aged man with balding black hair entered the house. He was wearing a black vest over a white shirt, a wristwatch, and glasses.

“Dustin, these are the hunters who brought us the processed mithril.”

“Hello, I am Dustin Ackers. Nice to meet you.”

“Pleasure is all mine. I am Stella and he is my partner Leon.” She said giving a quick introduction.

Leon recalled seeing him by the docks when he went to deliver the processed mithril to the mechanics.

“May I ask what the Crownsguards are doing all the way out here?” Luna inquired.

Monica and Dustin looked at each other. They seemed hesitant to share that information.

“These are dark times. The Hunters and the Crownguards need to stand united, else the Empire would consume us all. Don’t you agree?” Luna urged. Her words seemed to put Monica and Dustin at ease.

“Yes, Marshal Cor Leonis has a similar vision,” Monica agreed. “Marshal had ordered us reconnaissance this area. We are assessing if this would serve as a feasible base for our operations.”

“Makes sense. This was used as a hideout by King Regis before he became king. The lighthouse was used as a watchtower and as a communication tool sending light signals when the maritime route to Accordo was at its peak.”

“You are very knowledgeable, Stella,” Dustin added.

“My parents were born in Insomnia, so I grew up hearing the tales of the Lucian kings.”

Leon was amazed at her ability to conjure such a perfect lie instantly.

“This can potentially be a great strategic outpost for us,” remarked Monica.

“Indeed. However, the repairs required to the lighthouse and boat are beyond our expertise. We will need someone with more expertise, like Cid.” Dustin chimed in.

“I will relay it to the Marshal,” Monica annoucned, walking towards the kitchen. “Would you like to join us for lunch?”

‘Last time we joined someone for a lunch, it did not go well,’ Leon recalled.

“Only if I can help,” Luna offered.

‘Not again,’ Leon complained internally.

“It’s fine, you sit back and relax. I am used to making food for the whole team.”

“But I insist.”

“Fine. Let’s get started then.”

While Monica and Luna were busy cooking, Leon indulged Dustin.

“What kinds of mission do you guys do?”

“Mainly escorting and reconnaissance. We were in charge of escorting survivors of Insomnia to Lestallum. Once our refugees were assimilated at Lestallum, we came here. However, there are some troubling news from Lestallum.”

“What happened?” Leon asked. He often wondered what happened in Lestallum after they left.

“The Empire came to Lestallum in the search for the Oracle, but they did not find her there. Unfortunately, there were few casualties. They left Lestallum the next day. Our sources tell us that Prince Noctis is in Lestallum now so the Empire will return there to intercept him. We are to move out of here by the nightfall to go to Lestallum. We are to monitor the situation there and assist the Prince should the need arise.”

Squall found that Dustin was quite chatty if the subject interests him. They ended up talking about various means of reconnaissance until the food was ready.

Monica’s food was better than any of the restaurants in the Lestallum. They enjoyed their delicious meal over idle chit-chat.

Luna taught Monica how to grow Tenebraen oak properly, as this plant was not indigenous to this part of the Eos. They exchange pleasantries before saying their goodbyes.

“I am glad that the Crownsguard are moving back to Lestallum tonight. With them around, Iris and others would have a better chance against the Empire.”

“It would give Prince Noctis some support as well,” Luna added.

On the way back to their car, Leon informed, “One last delivery, and we are done.”

“Does that mean we have to return the car?” she asked, nearing the car.

“Unfortunately, yes,”

“Aww, but this car is like my second home,” she complained.

“Any further travels would have to be on foot or Chocobo,” he declared, unlocking the car.

“I am sure going to miss it,” she confessed, fondly looking at the car.

Leon was about to sit in the driver seat when he suddenly stopped and looked at her, “Do you want to drive?”

Her eyes lit up with unsaid joy, “Yes! Yes! Yes! I do.” Her excitement brought a smile to his face.

“Come on,” he said, motioning her towards the driving side.

She ran around the car barely able to contain her excitement. She sat in the driver seat and adjusted the mirror while Leon buckled up in the passenger seat.

“Back out slowly,” he instructed.

Even before he could finish his sentence, she slammed on the gas paddle and the car rocketed in reverse. Once the car was sufficiently out of the parking space, she slammed the brake, causing their bodies to lean forward only to be held by the seatbelt. He felt like all of his internal organs had been rearranged.

“For someone so calm and collected you sure drive like a maniac,” said Leon already regretting his decision.

“Relax, there was no one behind us,” she defended, brushing aside his criticism. “Besides, didn’t you say that I was a good driver? And now I am a maniac all of a sudden?”

“I might have been wrong back then,” he admitted nervously, keeping his eyes glued to the road.

Once the car was on the main road, see no traffic in sight, she floored the gas paddle attaining the car’s top speed in a matter of seconds. She retracted the roof of the car as a gush of wind blew on their faces.

“Enjoying the ride so far?” she asked loudly, as it was hard to hear because of the noise wind made due to their high speed.

Leon just glared back, and she laughed it off in response.

“Where did you learn to drive?” Leon asked almost rhetorically.

She slowed down as the road curved, giving respite to Leon’s pounding heart.

“Learned it during my travels.”

She significantly slowed down once she noticed the traffic up ahead. They were now driving at a pace Leon would normally drive at. The forceful wind felt gentle now.

She took out the ribbon holding her hair back. Free from its confinement, her hair flew with the wind. Leon looked at her and his heart and mind paused for a second. Luna’s image of her hair flowing in the wind would be etched in his memory forever. An image he would never get tired of seeing. He was besotted with her.

She saw him looking at her fondly and she suddenly became very self-conscious.

“Take the next right,” he guided, coming out of his trance and suddenly realizing their surroundings. She nodded and proceeded to do that.

“Music?” she suggested after a while.

“No,” was his instant response. “News?”

“Absolutely no.”

“What do you want to do?” he asked.

“I want to talk with you,” she said with zeal.

“Okay, go ahead. I am listening,” he said, reclining back in his seat.

“How about you talk and I’ll listen for a change?” she asked, looking at him briefly.

“Nope. Talking is among my top 10 least favorite things to do,” he stated.

“What are the other nine things?” she inquired.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” he replied, folding his arms. “I know you are tricking me into talking about it. I am not going to fall for it.”

She facepalmed like Leon always does. “I swear, sometimes I feel like I am talking to a kid.”

“Whatever,” he said, looking away.

She was getting bored without music or talking, so she decided to force the issue. “Leon, open that compartment and take out my book.”

He did as he was told.

“In the book, I have a paper cutout of those 36 questions, can you pass me that?” she requested.

Unsure of what she was planning to do with it, he passed the paper cutout to her.

She took off one hand from the steering wheel and started reading it, “Set 2: Question 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?”

“What are you doing? Keep your eyes on the road,” he said frantically.

“You are not talking so I will read this and talk to myself,” she revealed her plans.

“Give me that,” he said, snatching the paper from her hand. “You can be so reckless sometimes.”

She just smiled and winked playfully in response.

“Question 13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?” he read, and then proceeded to respond, “I would like to know what happened to me after I defeated Ultimecia and before I came here.”

“I would like to know if there is a way to change the future,” she added, after thinking for a few seconds.

“Change your actions, change your future,” he responded. “Every action you take now shapes your future.”

“Let me correct myself, I would like to know if there is a way to change the fate,” she corrected herself.

“Wouldn’t it be the same?” he argued.

“I don’t know. Fate and destiny, have a mysterious way of leading you back to it no matter what actions you take.”

Not wanting to debate over a theoretical question, he moved on to the next question, “Question 14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?”

Leon answered first, "Yes, I have a list of people whom I would like to punch in their face. The reason I have not done it is because it is not normal to go around punching people.”

“What a weird and specific dream. Even your wish list is full of violent things,” she expressed her disappointment. Leon just shrugged in response.

“For me, ever since you told me your story, I want to go to outer space. But there is no way to go in outer space. I guess I would have to wait till you take me to your world.”

“Take you back to my world? Now that’s an interesting idea,” he pondered, tapping his index finger on his cheek.

“Do you think it is possible?” she asked hopefully.

“I don’t know. Would you come with me if it were?” he asked.

“Maybe. I don’t know,” she confessed, getting flustered.

He asked the next question to break the silence, “15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?”

“Defeating Ultimecia,” he announced, in an instance.

“Healing people,” she said without hesitation. “Wow! We are so opposite. I like to heal people and you like to defeat them.”

“Only if they hurt someone I care about,” he said in his defense. “16. What do you value most in a friendship?”

“Trust,” they both said at the same time.

“That was easy,” Luna remarked, giving a thumbs up.

“Yup. If you don’t have trust in your friends, then what's the point of such a friendship?”

“Indeed,” she nodded.

“Next question, number 17, what is your most treasured memory?” Leon asked.

“Oh, that’s a lot to choose from,” he started, recollecting many of their treasured memories.

“Just say the first memory that came to your mind. It must be very special if that was the first one you remembered,” she suggested, trying to help.

“Hmm.” The first memory which came to his mind was waking up today to find Luna peacefully sleeping in his arms. He thought that might not be the most appropriate memory to share so he lied and picked the second memory which came to his mind. “The first one that came to mind was making our escape from the Disc of Catheruss by hanging on to the airship.”

“Yes, that indeed was special. It was daring escaped as I clung onto you with my dear life,” a natural smile graced her lips as that memory resurfaced.

“Yup, it was quite crazy now that I think about it,” he too had a smile on his face unknowingly. “What is your most treasured memory?”

“All of them,” she claimed, looking at him with a bright smile.

“That’s cheating. You have to pick one.”

“But seriously, all my memories with you are my most treasured ones,” she tried to convince him as a blush crept on his cheeks. “But if I absolutely had to pick one then it would be us protecting that tiny little flame during our dinner at Lestallum.”

“Interesting choice,” he remarked, recalling those moments. “Eating ice cream after that was fun too.”

“Yes, that was special too. See, I told you, every memory is special in its own way.”

He nodded and moved on to the next question. “18. What is your most terrible memory?”

“Even there we have a lot to choose from. I don’t know about you, but the last couple of days have been pretty bad,” Leon admitted. “But if I had to choose one then it would be the first time I saw you cry.” His honesty with Luna sometimes surprises even him.

It was a bitter-sweet moment for Luna as he revealed how much he cared for her. Luna took a deep breath and started, “Oh God, for me, it has to be that nightmare where I saw you getting stabbed with an ice crystal. I was so freaked out and scared out of my mind. I don’t even want to think about it.” She said shaking her head.

“19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?” he read.

“Skip,” Luna said as soon as he finished his sentence. Once again, he noticed that she was avoiding this topic. Not wanting to drag this conversation any further he said, “I can’t think of anything on top of my head so I’ll pass too.”

“20. What does friendship mean to you?” he asked, hoping this question would change the somber mood.

“Friendship to me means acceptance of someone just the way they are,” she replied, tucking a few strands of her hair behind her ears.

“Friendship to me means reliance. Ability to count on each other in time of your need,” he responded with a conviction.

He read the next question on the list, “21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?”

“Love and affection, isn’t that what we all live for? A life without love is like a body without a soul. I think it’s the ability to love which fundamentally makes us human. The inability to give love is like being a tree without leaves which provides shade or comfort to no one,” she narrated sounding more like an Oracle than Luna. She looked at Leon suggesting he should answer next.

“Love and affection feel great to have it, it's hard to maintain it and it’s impossible to keep it,” he said curtly, a typical Leon response. She just shook her head wondering how this man can summarize love and affection in one sentence.

“22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items,” he read, and said, “I’ll start. One positive characteristic of yours is your altruism.”

“Your loyalty,” she responded.

“Your devotion,” he replied

“Your bravery.”

“Your beauty,” he remarked, which made her blush.

“Your handsomeness,” she admitted, returning the compliment.

“Your charming personality,” he stated.

“Your mysterious personality,” she added.

“I think you are extremely pious,” he said sincerely.

“I think you are extremely honorable.”

“Should I keep going?” he asked as if he had a whole list of it ready.

“No, I think that was five.”

“23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?” he read. It was another pain point they did not like to talk about, but in a way, it also brought them closer.

Luna was the first one to reply, “I think our family was somewhat close. As for my childhood, it was divided into two halves, very happy and very sad. On an average, I think I might fall under the unhappy childhood category.”

“Had no family and childhood sucked. When kids my age played with the toys I used to play with weapons,” Leon stated bluntly.

“24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?” he asked.

“I miss her so much,” was Luna’s immediate response.

“Never knew her,” he said with a shrug. “And that concluded set two of these questions.” He folded the paper and tucked it away in her book.

“Wow, time sure flies when we are talking,” she commented looking at the clock.

“Yes,” he acknowledged, as he opened the glove compartment of the car to put the book inside. His eyes fell on a metal can bury behind all other items. Curious to know what it was, he took it out. “Ebony?”

“Sure, I’d like that,” she said, looking at the can in his hand.

They shared coffee and make occasional small talks as they continued towards their destination.

Luna pulled the car in the parking lot of the Taelpar Rest Area. Leon grabbed a few things he had to deliver from the trunk and disappeared from sight while Luna filled up the gas.

After a few minutes, Leon returned to the car with two ice creams. He saw that Luna was talking to a street vendor so he waved towards her to get her attention. She saw him and quickly came towards the car. She kept a few things she had bought in the trunk and joined him on the hood of the car.

Leon handed her a soft-serve chocolate vanilla ice cream once she was situated next to him.

“Ice cream? What’s the occasion?”

“This is to celebrate finishing all our deliveries,” he announced, doing cheers with their ice cream cones.

“I was expecting a bigger celebration than this,” she stated, tasting the ice cream.

“Perhaps we can have it at another time. For now, this would have to suffice,” Leon suggested, tasting his ice cream.

“What flavor is that?” she asked, looking at his green-colored ice cream.

“Pistachio,” he replied, licking his ice cream.

“Let me try that,” she requested, extending her hand.

“Sure. Let me try your chocolate vanilla,” he asked, swapping their ice creams.

“This is so much better than mine,” she commented, after tasting pistachio ice cream. “You keep that one.”

“Cheater.” Leon just laughed and shook his head.

They sat on the hood of the car and ate their ice cream in silence, enjoying a beautiful sunset in front of them.

“Leon?”

“Yes?”

“You know what I was thinking,” she started enthusiastically. Before she could say anything further, she felt a stabbing pain in her chest. “Urrghh,” she clutched her chest and coiled in pain.

Leon placed his arm around her shoulder to support her. “Are you okay? What’s going on?” His heart skipped a beat upon seeing her in sudden pain. He noticed that suddenly the atmosphere around them got very chilly.

The pain quickly subsided as she leaned back against the windshield. “I am okay now.” She reassured breathing heavily, but Leon wasn’t convinced. Before he could ask anything, he heard a familiar voice. “I bear good news.”

“Gentiana,” he recognized her voice coming from behind them. She gracefully walked, with her eyes closed, from the back of the car to the front where they were sitting. She went past the hood of the car and turned around to face them.

“Rejoice. The king has subdued the Archaen. Titan has agreed to give his blessing to the king."

“That is joyous news indeed,” Luna said, pushing herself off the windshield. “The pain I felt must be because of my link with Archaen.”

Gentiana nodded in affirmation with her eyes still closed. “Now Ramuh’s trial awaits you and your knight.”

“We will succeed,” Leon said with conviction.

“Of that, I have little doubt. But, be cautious, the Empire is aware of your activates and they are on the move.”

“Thank you, for your warning, we shall be careful,” Luna acknowledged.

Gentiana turns around and took a couple of steps and started to leave. “Gentiana,” Luna called for her.

“Yes, Lady Luna.”

“How is Prince Noctis doing?” Luna asked with concern.

“His friends serve him well. He is well protected and cared for. He too yearns to see you,” she informed, without any fluctuation in her voice.

“Thank you, Gentiana. Your words give me great joy,” Luna said, with a slight bow.

Leon, who was just observing this conversation, felt an unfamiliar pain in his heart. He tried to convince himself over and over again that it was not jealousy, yet he failed.

Gentiana opened her eyes and looked straight at Leon and address to him directly, “Cherish every moment you have. A great tragedy awaits you both.” Before either of them could react to what she had just said, Gentiana disappeared from their sight leaving behind dancing ice particles in the air.

Author's notes:

Things between Leon and Luna are healing for now. However, a great tragedy awaits them both... any guess what that could be?

Please leave a comment if you've enjoyed the story so far. Thanks :)

[whosxafraid]

Volk/vo'robushek for married life meme

Meme: Married Life Meme Status: CLOSED

leaves their dirty clothes on the floor

Seven minutes. Exactly seven minutes is how long he was gone. The precise time it requires to take the stairs to the walk away, that leads to the post box and back again. Most of it garbage, the post that is. Probably could have waited to be retrieved until after he cooked dinner but….

Steps reverse, the exact backward order they’d been taken. One brow rising exponentially over green. Because there is a trail of clothes. Heels, then stockings, the sleeve of a shirt peeking around the corner….and the post—ends up abandoned on the counter. Forgotten for a second time today. As his feet follow the bread crumb trail of clothes.

That lead unsurprisingly to the bedroom door. That’s not entirely closed. One hand to push it open and–blinded by silk that scents like—he yanks it off. Green instantly centering on the creme skin that stands out almost painfully against darker toned sheets.

          Borsht better cold served. Pravda.

Dinner…time…that one planet with all the autonomous clocks….they could all wait. And the door shuts with an almost spirited thud.

forgets to run the dish washer

           “D’is would be goin’ much faster i’ ye weren’t fea’dered jus’ now.”

          Not the idiot who used weaver crap without fizzy sudsy, Milkbone.

A roll of eyes but a conceding shrug all the same. Because she’s right. It was his turn on kitchen duty, but it’s also not entirely his fault. She had distracting him that morning, before they’d gone out of the day. But here nor there, because now here they were. Him washing and Quothe…well dancing around on the plates with a towel in her talons. And he’s pretty sure she’s scratching them more than drying–not that he’ll say a word.

pumps gas for the car

              “Fuel on d’is planet be smellin’ loi’ke candy floss…”

             Luna’s face…moon. What, are you a goldfish we gotta go over this every thirty seconds?

A bit of a chuckle, to frame the shrug that only marginally threatens to unseat her. One hand coming up to run a finger along the bottom of her beak. Watching the meter rise with each millisecond that goes by them. A bit of a squint as green moves away from it to watch as he suns are swallowed hole by the planet they’re revolving around.

              “Ye be tellin’ me where we be goin’ now?”

              South assa raven flies. Don’ worry, I’ll steer.

drives when they’re going somewhere

Back into the car. Quothe hoping from shoulder to arm to dashboard. And maybe it’s both comforting and a little unnerving the similarities of this universes ‘automobiles’. But then he supposed if a thing worked by alter it? Regardless he pulls back out onto the road. Settling the speed, letting the vehicle do most of the work. While he just kept it inside the neon purple lines.

But then his fingers are getting pecked and he’s moving one hand away from the wheel. Quothe wrapping one set of talons around the wheel and tugging it to turn it. And he follows the direction. Taking the next right.

         “Ye could o’jus’ said…” a small complaint as the abused finger is pulled from between his lips.

         Rub some dirt in it an’ walk it off, paw patrol. 

rearranges the furniture**

Splinters of what used to be furniture. Paper torn away from books that like scattered like bodies across a battlefield like quit. Shattered remains of dishware. The occasional spark of live wires playing along the surface of the pool, that’s littered with dust and dirt. The smell of blood and burnt wood and other chemicals rising out of a barrel, that’s all but gone out. And in the middle of it all…

He sits. Not unlike a statue. As though an artist had fashioned him into the chaos of the home around him. Bloody knuckled but other wise unharmed. A cigarette smoldering in one hand, the other encased about a flask. And he drinks because what else is there too do in the wake of his rage? In the wake of losing his temper as he has not done in centuries. In the wake of actually feeling like the monster that stories had written him to be.

        Gaia’s boobs, Alpo, th'fuck happened to you? It was the cosmic mailman, wasn’t it?

But he doesn’t answer does he? Doesn’t make any indication at all that he’s heard her. The flask lifted to his lips instead. Taking a bitter bit from it, before it too is cast into the smoldering bits of the dying fire. The cigarette drained of what life it had left, and tossed in as well; before he’s staggering to his feet. Which drag heavy across the floor, to carry him to his bed.

He doesn’t want to talk about it. And it’s not like she would care or have anything encouraging to say. Not that it would help.

falls asleep with the TV on

Half past he doesn’t even know when he wakes up. Not jarred awake by any one thing. Though the dream he had had…the fact that he had had one. Something of a sleepy smile on his face. At least until he moves. Moves and realizes he has the mother of all criks in his neck. Which is some how only made worse by the horrible late night show currently droning on the tv. 

A hand moves, blindly find the remote. Shutting the trash entertainment off. Only to realize a minute later he’s a bit…well he’s not stuck he could move but the fact is if he did–he doesn’t want to wake her up. So instead he simply works the pillow out from between his leg and the couch. Props his head up on that, and soon enough he’s drifted off to sleep again. Anya drapped over him like linen. And while tomorrow he’ll wake up sore and stiff…he’ll count it worth it. And not a word of complaint will find purchase on his tongue.

gets to use the bathroom first

He’d woken early. Gone out to find breakfast. Not that, that is hard given where they are spending their time now. A forest as far as one could run in any direction. Where they were the only not quite animal beings for hundreds if not thousands of miles. It is a pleasant experience. One that he has missed, more than he could ever really put into words.

And it is not long before he’s returned, with something fresh to eat. Still warm with the linger life he’d taken from it. Set rather neatly on the expanse of rock just outside the den they’ve called home the last few months. Though it’s all shattered with a rather displeased sound. That’s only followed by even more displeased words.

                 First one to the finish line is a euphemism, so next time could you…not?

A snort that’s pushed harshly out his nose. It’s not his fault she can’t watch where she decides to land. Besides, he’s got to mark his territory. That’s how the whole living like a wolf thing works.

decides the temperature for the ac/heater

She was born here. Built for the harsher climates. And though he is what he is. Though he burns warmer than most beings–she notices the way he inches towards the fire just a little more. Rubs hands together, flexes fingers. Trying to work out the stiffness the cold is trying to settle into his bones. And maybe it dawns on her right then–he hadn’t had to say yes. They could have gone anywhere.

He slides a knight into position that will have her in check in two moves.

But he had said yes. Had let her lead him all over this snow covered land. Honestly enjoyed it where it counted. But in so doing, had kept his complaints to himself. Had dealt with the cold he’s not used to the way she is. And maybe…the game can wait. Be picked up again in the morning. So she gets up.

Skillfully adds more fuel to the fire, before shifting back to his side. Fingers threading into his to nudge him into getting up too. Tugging him down to the bedding by the fire, and pulling the furs up around them. Because there is more than one way to warm a man’s blood. And it is not always the liquor left abandoned by the chess board that does the trick.

sets up holiday decorations

Gords of every color collecting at the corners of door frames. Drying herbs hanging from the kitchen window. Apples stacked haphazardly to make them all fit int he basket on the counter. A bowl set on the table filled with water and floating flowers. And candles. Perched in ever spot available that wasn’t a completely fire hazard. And in the middle of it all…he’s cooking dinner. What she has no idea but  the little plates set out on the window sill, meant to hold tiny portions of whatever he was making—enough is a enough is enough.

This hangs noodles from ears, Solnyshko.

            “What? S’Mebon…ye canna be expectin’ me no’ ta celebrate. S’ta firs’ toi’me oi’ can an’ i’be ma’dderin’ in ages.”

A breath to respond but…oh what’s the point. If it makes him happy, she’ll suffer. For now anyway. Though if he even comes close to asking her to dance around a may pole he’s got another thing coming…wait no–that’s the wrong festival.

leaves the lights on

It’s…he has lived for longer than any creature born a mortal should. And all his life he has avoided the vastness of the north beyond the lands that once held vikings. Because that place had been cold enough. Had spent his centuries troding the same paths over and over and over again until they had become habit and he stopped looking for the hidden turns and valleys.

And to be honest, at the moment, he’s completely miserable. He’d lost feeling in his nose hours ago. But still she wished to sit and wait. Sit and wait for his currently non existence dick knew not what. But he keeps his gripping to himself. Sniffles, and burrows his hands further into his pockets if that’s possible. The sinking sun doing nothing to help matter at all.

But finally it sets. Sinks beyond the horizon. Though he realizes not that will be the last time this place will see it for more than a month. And something happens. Anya moves. Wraps her arms around one of his. Snuggles against it as though cold, though he knows better. And there is something pensive and yet excited to the way her face lights up. The way the words look up, leave her lips, to become nothing more than vapor.

So he follows her direction. Green gazing upwards at the vast blackness. Stars sprinkled over head, and perhaps that is…an unwanted reminder of what he lost. Though a moment later the sensation of her hand slipping into his glove to share in his warmth dislodges the train of thought and then—

It’s color. Bright and warm and dancing above them to music he can not hear. And while age and knowledge tell him what it is, it does not dull the effect. Green and blue and yellow. Orange in pieces. Purple in sporadic affairs with the darkness beyond it. And there is something utterly transfixing about it. The way the colors weave and shimmer. As though they were living beings that breathed and lived trapped between the earth and the universe beyond. And perhaps that is enough to leave him speechless. 

Enough to have him staring unblinking at the beauty above them. Because how long has it been since he could see the world the way he’d been born too? Without shades of grey to throw everything off. To see it as he was meant to see it. Vibrant and undiluted by the salvation from death. And maybe green glints with the emotion of it all. The most silent of thanks sent drifting into the in between. Where he hopes it is heard. Because a debt is owed her that he can never pay, so instead he will thank her. Thank her for the smallest of things each day she granted Anya and himself. 

uses the bathroom with the door open**

Two am and he’s pulled awake by pain that is both stabbing and a dull ache all at once. Phantom though he knows it is, it feels real. The parts of him born mortal suddenly remembering the fact that other parts had been ripped out. That pieces that are there shouldn’t be, and he feels the sensation of the loss all over again. 

He gets up. 

Drags himself to the bathroom. Where a cigarette is lit with one hand while the other aims. The quiet only some how emphasizing the throbbing in his bones and muscles and organs. Lungs that hiccup a little on the smoke and oxygen becuase his brain doesn’t want to believe they are there at all. And there’s a bit of a cough that has him nailing the inside lid.

Feck. He’ll clean it up later.

And then what clothes he does have on come loose. Left in a pool by the sink. The tub faucet turned on to boiling and he’s leaning over. Retrieving the a bottle of worry away from the cabinet. Only to realize he’s got no glass. Though a second later a taloned foot is digging into his shoulder enough to keep her in place. In the other she carries what he’s missing and there’s a sleepy noise that might have been thank you in another life, as he takes the glass from her.

           There’s a dictionary in my pocket. Look up the word shame, would ya?

fixes the plumbing (or calls the plumber)

The spray nozzle on the sink wasn’t working. He’ll fix it he promises. He’ll have it done before she gets back. He swears. And he does to his credit. Have it fixed that is. It’s working. He’s tested it. But maybe…..maybe every now and then he can devolved into a teenager. Maybe every now and then pranks are a thing. Maybe every now and then the noise that comes out of the kitchen, reaching decimals that might have deafened him were he not already plugging his ears in preparation for it, is satisfying by degrees.

Because like he told her once before…she’s cute when she’s angry…..And even more so when she’s drenched and looking more like a slicked down pigeon than a raven by degrees.

         Next time you wear beast skin, will skin you out of it.

The neighbors three floors down could hear the laughing, and the subsequent thudding of feet, because books? They don’t react well to canned whip creme.