#but im constantly on the verge of tears
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guess im reading tsc again
#my posts#liveblogging tsc#tsc spoilers#4th reread like 3 pages in and its still so fucking heartwrenching#i dont know what it is about the writing#i guess its just that its gotten better?#more descriptive? or smth#but im constantly on the verge of tears#AND THEN HE SAYS HES WORKED THROUGH WORSE#jesus fucking christ#aftg
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Nagumo Shoma I Sun☀️& Moon🌑
KISS X KISS X KISS: Love ii Shower (2023) AT 25:00 IN AKASAKA (2024)
#kiss x kiss x kiss#kiss x kiss x kiss love ii shower#at 25:00 in akasaka#25 ji akasaka de#jdrama#jdramasource#userrlaura#uservix#userlera#userharu#userfaiza#moonlightsdream#asiandramanet#asiandramasource#nagumo shoma#which one do you prefer? both! both are good#he's slaying both looks#also the difference in attitude: kazuma is confident in everything he does and naoki seems to be on the verge of tears constantly#im obsessed with him if you can't tell#and i love how much these both characters contrast each other hence.... sun and moon#mywork
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guys I'm literally so close to where they filmed the first hunger games and my heart cannot handle it
#MY HEART IS EXPLODING#i feel like im constantly on the verge of tears?#josh hutcherson was literally HERE#and I can't take it#everytime i see a tree im like#is this the one katniss climbed#its almost too much to bear#the hunger games#peeta mellark#peeta#katniss#katniss everdeen#katniss and peeta#everlark#thg
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instant mood cure
#ok but im being 100% serious#this was my actual experience today at work today#had an emotional crisis in the bathroom. like I was sitting on the verge of tears the entire time and just having an awful time#and then boom! hurricane came on and suddenly im doing alright. im being serious it just cured it#this silly little song constantly makes me happy no matter the situation#idk what kinda magic they put in that songs but it just makes me go :D#omg Johnnie hi#dani speaks#lord huron#strange trails#johnnie redmayne
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Back from my week long break, and had a blast of a time, but not feeling too refreshed.
First off, apparently now I have insomnia. And I can't decide if it's a symptom of my mental unwelless, or if I'm feeling like shit because I can't sleep. I want to cry.
It's like, even before my vacation I could feel the desperate need for vacation, and I was so permanently exhausted that it started to scare me, but now that I had a week off, I feel like I rested just enough to realise how burnt out I really was (am)
I am so damn tired from having to dig myself out of this mental pit again and again
And I just want to have a good night's sleep...
#i am constantly on the verge of tears#and I questioned my career choice several times this past week#because why do i have to feel this tired#and why do i have to witness all this suffering#and i can't even put it into words how low i feel now#and it scares me because i honestly love my job#and most of the time im so content that i can't believe i get to live my dream job#but then i crash sometimes#and it's awful#i don't want to feel like this#personal#vent#might delete later
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do you ever become so obsessed with someone else's OC as if theyve had their own series or some shit that it's not even funny
#im actually foaming at the mouth#i dont think they have tumblr but monmeon9 on insta. solon has my heart#they look like theyre constantly on the verge of tears and for that i am absolutely smitten#artists on tumblr#art#ocs#oc#oc stuff
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why is anxiety so fucking inescapable and utterly ruinous
#i have always been able to live with my depression. it sucks but it is absolutely nothing compared to the crushing weight of anxiety#im on the verge of a panic attack like almost 24/7. constantly on the edge of tears and hyperventilation
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Finish Kamen Rider OOO before any rewatch of other series.
my brain isn't even doing good enough to watch the owl house fam if I decided to watch OOO in this mental state my brain would ooze out of my ears
#Im EXTREMELY stressed and tired#i cant focus on new things that i know i would enjoy if i wasnt constantly feeling on the verge of tears#rewatching things ive already seen is the easiest way to kinda keep me grounded#which is why im on my 3984243rd rewatch of downton abbey
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it's been one of those days again
#i swear to god idk what's wrong with me#i just constantly feel like I'm on the verge of tears now???#and I'm so sober? and it's been long enough that I'm not withdrawing#i can't blame pms#i just feel like shit All The Time?#im literally sitting in my car having a nervous breakdown#I'm anxious for the first time in years#more days than not i feel like crying and i don't know why#im literally such a piss poor therapist i don't even have the insight to understand or work myself out#let alone others#i just. wish i knew what was going on#and today was supposed to be really nice!#i don't remember the last time I felt genuine happiness it's like#at least not since july. maybe august#idk#mine#music#Spotify
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#im very very against crying because it just makes my head hurt and my face ugly#but because im so against crying i havent been able to sleep in months because#i keep having dreams of myself violently sobbing but i have to be super chill about everything#im not allowed to cry im the only one who doesnt cry thats the value i offer to my dying brother#is that im the only person not visibly mourning him yet#i almost cried at the doctor because they asked me how many siblings i had#its so fucking stupid i know#and i feel so bad like i abandoned him but he was slipping farther and farther every day it was horrible having to arrange hospice for him#then he agreed to the third surgery he never wanted to have but insurance didnt cover it#but 3 days later the surgeon did it out of pocket and now hes on new chemo but im still not with him#i ran away and gave my room to his mother so she could be with her dying son and i could catch a break#but it doesnt feel like a break im still constantly on the verge of tears and even though he chose to spend his last months with me#i chose to high tail it to another state because i couldnt stand the sight of him#he wouldnt let me take care of him anyways because im his baby sister 19 years younger than him and its a pride/shame thing i get it#whatever im done now i will always have video games
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#my neck hurts and theres so much fucking tension on the back of my head i feel like im being put through a compressor#i dont wanna go back to bed but i feel sick and im tired and im sad and while i did sleep for a few hours really badly cause my body sucks#it didnt really fix anything#i feel so fucked up today. mentally and physically exhausted and on the verge of tears constantly#idk fam im just not feeling it today. being awake and alive i mean#ugh#night is an absolute mess on main
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Everyone knowing Steve as a brilliant tactician and this logic driven man with a plan yet Bucky gets his memories back from a museum on this man and has to contend with the fact that Steve Rogers is actually the dumbest, most reckless motherfucker ever and no one is ever gonna believe him
#Movies#i like the first captain america movie more than i remembered but Steve Rogers is truly a blonde at heart#his hearts in the right place but once emotions get involved he just stops thinking#'yeah sure ill be a guinea pig for your unprecedented science project im gonna die either way -#either winters gonna do me in or im gonna finally lie my way illegally into the army'#he repeatedly storms a heavily fortified nazi base. multiple times! and he goes first each time!!#yeah hes very courageous but very dumb. i know buckys just constantly on the verge of tearing his hair out over his sht
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Nearly every month I reach a mental breakdown point bc of work
I just need a job where I can work from home, not need a degree for, and not interact with customers. My head and heart can't take it.
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trying to get myself feeling more festive and i keep nearly bursting into tears whats going on
#not a vent cuz i don t ?? know why its happening#im not sad? im just#on the verge of tears like constantly i guess
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#hey what the fuck do you do when you had a breakdown about the entirety of 25 years of your life#and you are still going through it#constantly being on the verge of tears wanting to scream and never stop while feeling the calmest you ever felt in your life?#asking for me#i have no job barely any usable experience cause everything is customer service my degrees are useless and i moved countries recently#so im starting from zero socially as well#i need at least a part time barista job to keep afloat but nobody is calling me back for interviews or hiring once i do the interview#i discovered i want to do art and be with art for a living because otherwise i will die#but i have no art background cause my parents never allowed me to learn or go into that direction school and uni wise#how do i start everything from zero at 25#while economy is so bad its impossible to get a customer service job(that is not completely soul crushing)when you have years of experience#i booked 3 free art workshops in museums for the next two days#i am going insane#personal
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god. why does no one care about me in this damned house
#two days of hanging out with childhood friends having the best fun I’ve had all holidays just to be ruined by my brother#my god#firstly you have a complete fucking meltdown right before we’re supposed to leave despite you having a full 6 hours to prepare while im#in a rush to get in the car 10 mins after waking up because my mum didn’t wake me up#then you make us call you because you were feeling left out despite you specifically saying you didn’t want to hang out with these people#then the next day you agree to go and immediately start insulting me for laughs and then hitting me with hard plastic when I respond#you continue to do things to the rest of us and then complain when we do the same#eventually going to mum and conveniently ignoring any part where he hit me#then you act moody the rest of the damn day watching youtube and then say all that time watching YouTube was stressing you out#then I get home after a 40 min drive of josh crying over some unexplained problem with all the “stress” on his face leaving immediately#my mum asks me why I wasn’t feeling the best and I explain all the shit that josh did to me#and then she has the nerve to stay “why have you stayed so mad about this” as if josh doesn’t constantly pull this shit#apparently she thought all the times we didn’t fight were just normal?? as if I don’t have to constantly walk on eggshells around josh#and I had to explain how I constantly had to comprise for him and how I just for once wanted to have fun with my friends#and even then we constantly invited him to play with us#and then refused to#the two hour later I decide for once in my life to be vulnerable with my dad and get on the verge of tears explaining how I’m treated by jo#and how despite doing the actual limit to what I can mentally handle to appease josh he still treats me like dogshit#and he decides to make this about him and his brother and how their relationship worked#and then told me basically that my brother will never leave my life and I have to stay with him forever#I love my mother#My father and my brother not so much#but when it’s not about josh getting a pinprick and having to cancel a 2 week holiday#it’s about mum and dad and how they are going through a rough patch and constantly have to let us know#the only time it feels like I’m paid any attention to at all is when I’m with my sisters or I get a grade back#ughhhhhhhhhhhh#vent
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