#but ig this is just wishful thinking 😭
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new ship to distract me from the possible ruin of roxchie (x)
#GOD THEY HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL#AND THEY ALL JUST WENT DOWN THE DRAIN#truly genuinely believe the writers intended for them#to be paired up together from the very beginning#kasi all the pairings from the collab project#now have some sort of romantic plot except for them 😔#ANG GANDA SANA NG ARC NA 'TO#rich it girl bully x poor awkward shy introverted drug pusher 🤣#THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS FOR THEM 😭#kaso wala 😃#also !#a friend pointed out na#the fact na z's lolo is the drug pin king#and obet is one of the pushers#really shows na they have some sort of connection 😭#(now that they're showing z taking some medicinal#or whatever kind of drugs#there still might be some possibility for this ship to at least#have an open ending 😭)#but ig this is just wishful thinking 😭#hayst#ni-rush kasi nila i-end yung show e 🥲#senior high#zbet#zobet#daniela stranner#LOVE HER !#kyle echarri#zyra aguerro#obet santana
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oh yay
just found a Noah hate post
I felt angry enough to screenshot it so enjoy losing faith in humanity ig (btw just to clarify I’m okay with ppl disagreeing with Noah’s beliefs but wishing on his death and sending threats to him is more than crossing a line,it’s so horrible and disgusting especially the homophobic and sa threats he gets)
(btw that’s my comment at the top defending him bc I got a little annoyed but yeah,this really annoyed me like where did ppls common sense and basic human empathy go???)
#noah schnapp#losing faith in humanity#why are we bringing his political beliefs into this now😭#I feel so bad for him#I hate that I have to share air with the same ppl who are saying they wish death or worse on a 19-20 year old#Even if it is a joke (which it’s doesn’t seem like it is) it’s crossing a line SENDING him threats not js joking about it in comments#Which once again I don’t think these are jokes but oh well ig I have faith in them#I’m guilty for saying I’ll kill the duffers but that’s obviously a joke this just seems like it’s not 😭😭#I never intended to become a Noah défense blog but here I am😭
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i am once again thinking about The Boy
not the movie lol
#give it up for day 13#how has it just been 13 days since my first time seeing him in so long#🙈💕 i like how i haven't had A Crush in a sec and the last person it was on was him lol.#there's a lot of little stuff that's changed since then abt myself and between us ig but good lord i have never been more attracted to him#than i am now 😵💫😵💫 seeing him in sweats and a sleeveless turtleneck that first day has just had him in my head every day since#like HELP he's hot 😭 but then like... so am i omg (｡ﾉω＼｡) actually cleaning my place finally so i can have him over lol#i know I'm hot but at the same time i forget ykwim.. until i look in a mirror or see a picture and I'm like oh right i exist.#anyways ms ma'am is getting better at talking to her friends abt these kinds of things ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡#i say that there's nothing I'd do for a lover that i wouldn't do for a friend and that i just love ppl fundamentally#and i know this is my true self‚ but I'm somewhat new to living that in practice and on purpose.#I'm a little clumsy i think but no one's seemed to mind 🙈💕 i am happy that I'm learning and i am happy to deepen my friendship#and i look forward to how much easier this will be to navigate a yr from now ^.^ I've been polyamorous for a year and a half ig#and i feel like I've found my comfort zone yk? :3 ♡ what being polyamorous Means To Me#it's good to be here.. i look forward to the friends i will make after i move and i wish i was more forward w the boy sooner omg#but it's okay. he won't be Too far away it's just a bit of a trip. i wanna have him over a couple times before i leave tho and hopefully#many more at the next place ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ but i will visit him too hehe his family's rly nice
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tl reminded me of daigo alone at the bar after mine's death its high time i go to bed now
#snap chats#sorry im a cowboy this week ig who the fuck says 'high time'. please get shot#at high noon ..... high time i was shot at high noon on my high horse ... or waht the fuck ever#anyway idc if i literally. make this post every mont its just amazing how im still not over it#dark ass dank ass lonely ass bar daigo sittin in . at least the bartender there .... hi friend .#he's an integral character to me in minedai lore i wish he had a name#he was the witness to minedai. i was gonna say he's the only one that can vouch it was real#but dawg lbr ... hamazaki fuckin knew what am I talkin about 😭😭 like he's dead too but 💀💀💀#BUT DATE FUCKIN KNEW DAWG still mental how this was.n ot at all a fucking secret#like yall think that was ever a thought whether they were Together together or not#just 'it could be troublesome if everyone knew how close i am with this guy' or something like that#meanwhile everyone and their third cousin's aware of the homosexual relations between the tojo chairman and his captain#A tier trope ..... ok im sleeping now lest i stay up all night thinking of minedai. again.#good night everyone i saw creepypasta on my dashboard some minutes ago and im concerned for the year im in
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I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life
#.txt#also I have to do a movie pitch for it bitch it's an amv with intentionally one dimensional characters 😭 tf do I even say about it#at least the characters are like. knockoff jaime and tommen so its almost like im drawing asoiaf fanart#unfortunately I've come to hate them. the knockoffs I mean#I wanna change the designs a bit so they dont resemble my blorbos as much. i think im gonna give the kid darker hair#ok well discount jaime just looks like him with 2 hands and a blue cape 💀and I cant change him atp#my worst mistake was giving him like. a solid metal skirt armor thing bc its a pain in the ass to animate#at the start of the year I had the most work done out of everyone how did this happen#its bc they started nitpicking the story and I kinda lost motivation to work on it lke this shit is stupid. and cringe#by they I mean the extra screenwriting teachers we had a couple lessons with which like. this is an animation course not a writing course#I'd get it if it was like. a full time school but we have 2 3 hour classes a week we dont have time for this shit man#ig my mistake was that my idea didn't start from the story it started from the song I wanted to make a cool music video for it#its not that the story is nonsensical or anything its just a very basic fairytale esque thing nothing groundbreaking#'but you're not SAYING anything with this' I'm not trying to omg just let me make my little amv :(#does everything need a plot twist or to subvert expectations is it not enough that it looks cool#there's a couple people who are worse off than me in terms of how much they've done but also theres a couple that are nearly done#looking at them like god I wish that were me.....#and also I think I accidentally overwrote a shot I worked on for 3 hours. killing myself#maybe I can restore a previous version but its on the school computer and the school is closed for a week so im not gonna know until then
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:|
#up at 4 for no reason lollolololllllll#and my brain has decided to fixate on glowstick club show the moment of like#delaying our show start time and waiting to hear from someone abt if we could start#so i could tell our members when we were starting#and i have thought abt this show sm but i haven’t thought abt that moment lmfao ??????#why am i suddenly only thinking abt that#and also thinking abt the stage manager bc i don’t think we were great w her 😭😭😭#not that we were rude or bad or anything but just personally i feel like i was thinking abt a lot of stuff#ig probably understandably but after the show ppl said the stage manager was frustrated or like#wished we were more communicative#which also lowkey wasn’t my job necessarily bc we have a logistics chair for that#but she was working w the lighting person and lemme not start thinking abt that too bc illl also start feeling bad abt that LMAO#bro like the show was great why am i like brain pooping all over it rn#like tiny little moments that probably no one remembers lol#but aso i need to actually send a msg related to this show that i’ve been procrastinating to shit#abt videos from our show that still haven’t been uploaded that i put audio on and uploaded to drive#overthinking it bc i am not in like a pleadership position anymore so#what am i doing asking them if we can upload these vids soon LOL#but also i asked over a week ago and was ghosted 😭😭😭#so i rly gotta follow up lol ANYWAY#can i pls finish this bedtime fic and have my brain shut up and sleep lol#but also i just don’t want to sleep c:#jeanne talks
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after all these years of just trying to accept my body the way it is there's still a part of me that thinks no one will ever love me bc of my physical appearance
#this is what being made fun of for being fat and ugly as a kid will do to you i guess lollllll#like cmon girl we've been over this beforeeeeeeeeee#but idk its just like. every time i like someone im always like theres no way theyd go for someone like me.....#like ofc they're gonna go for a pretty and skinny girl yk.....and that aint me#cause like yeah my body is the main issue here but i think in other ways im not conventionally pretty#like i have acne and my teeth are really crooked and ~ unique ~ lmfao#gotta keep working on it ig.........but boy is it hard. most of the time i wish i wasn't me 🫡#anyway i know ive been talking too much abt this but im going through it rn (like every other day tbh) and i need to vent 😭😭😭#raquel speaks#// body image
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Some more portraits :) I've drawn too much fanart, I need to return to creature comforts shdkkf
#i think when i have no big plans i just end up drawing these kinda portraits#as practice yknow and also cause the characters are comforting to me#smth i think a lot abt is how i used to be so scared of not being able to draw a character consistently +#that i would keep tracing off whatever the prev drawing was to keep their face consistent#but now i just find that so silly 😭#the only time ive done that recently is just for fanart bcs their faces are obv like a pretty strict thing#but for ocs its like evolution ig. draw them however i wish :)#and i think ive def gotten better w consistency#anyways maybe ill end up drawing a lot more characters than i usually do!! these are going pretty smooth#i usually only finish 1 or 2. sketch a couple more and then give up#but these are sooooo fun to me :D ty guys for asking abt them <3#catie.art.
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having so many feelings about dff ep 7
#i think i felt every emotion during that episode#had to pause it and take a breath so many times#anyway i wish them all a very die#dff#dead friend forever#dff ep7#dff ep7 spoilers#well now we know what jin did ig#phee is 100% playing jin#i think thats gonna be the last time phee saw non and hes gonna regret it#when they all get back hes gonna be like okay ive calmed down i wanna talk to him where is non#and non just never came back and thats when he did this whole elaborate revenge plan of being invited to the group#i dont think future him knows what happened to non besides guessing#i cant fucking believe jin posted that video#for all he knew non was doing it against his will#phee crying when he first saw the teacher and non was actually heart breaking#non bestie 😭 i feel like phee wouldve understood if you explained it to him#anyway to bring this to kimchay beacuse i cant stop making everything about kimchay#kim seeing chay being abused by his teacher and going feral
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gege needs to retire his character death note and hand it off to asagiri i swear 😭
#my sister (misinformed) told me yuta died in the latest jjk ch and i was so nervous looking at leaks#bc its smthn gege /would/ do and i really like yuta#thankfully he’s fine he just made an appearance in the latest ch thats all#tell me why my first thought after was ‘man that was a thrill i wish new bsd chapters made me feel like this’ 😭#my biggest gripe w. bsd will forever be how all the characters always come out of battles completely unscathed#nevermind the 500 injuries they sustained#nobody ever dies or gets new battle scars or life changing wounds etc etc it kinda makes the stakes boring when you know the character will#be fine when alls said and done#and honestly this wouldn’t be problem for me if ! asagiri didnt deathbait so damn much !#he’s allergic to actually killing off a character and thats how i Know fyodor prob isnt dead#and neither is sigma bc fyodors ability is still a big mystery and we need them to reveal it for us#bc asagiri never killed anyone major off in the main manga before its hard to believe that he killed these two off 🤷♀️#and ig fukuchi but all those theories of him being the masked man at the s5 cliffhanger has me squinting suspiciously#tbh idc if its my fav character who dies if it’ll make the plot more interesting then send them to the gallows !!#(okay maybe not lucy but she barely gets any panel time shhh)#like i like fukuzawa but i also think itd be interesting to see what would’ve happened if he died in the battle vs fukuchi#bc the aftermath would be a change in status quo and it would’ve been interesting to see the change in dynamics in the ada and#how they deal w. his loss !!#on the other hand gege killing off his characters too frequently . . . doesnt rlly need an explanation#(jjk spoilers?) now w. yuta going up against sukuna . . . please keep him safe gege i beg 🥲#anyways. enough rambling now to go back to shoving bsd to the back of my mind lol#ayra croaks
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tbh tho i think my art is fugly af LMFAO
#not in a '>w< eeeek! i wish i could drawww 🥺 i can only cobble such measle crap with my lowly peasant paws.. *unveils mona lisa*'#sense but like a my style makes me want to hurl whenever i look at it bcs it's a constant reminder that it can only be what i can make it be#and bcs it looks bad to me then that means i cant make things look good if u get my sense like#idk man 😭!! im just sick of being scribbly!! and not clean! i wanna ink my art! have crisp lines! dark lines!!#not have to put stupid darkening filters on everything bcs i cant color or shade so my art is just stuck with the blinding white background#well the frustration is more how i CAN color and shade.. i CAN ink my lines with a darker one#lets not excuse my laziness now cmon ted omg dumbass bitch#it's just that doing so makes me . crazy#my attention span like. crumbles when i try to add color or ink over lines bcs thats Such a commitment to me#i HATE leaving things unfinished when it seems so monumental#like unfinished sketches or prompts? fine. those are sketches. little prompts. even if u post it it's shit#but starting big things is a COMMITMENT.. with CONSEQUENCES ! ! i just want to avoid them ig#it's like im stuck between art being a fun lil past time and being a perfectionist actually so no. no it is not#but also i NEED to draw i NEED to write SOMETHING! SOMETHING!! then i realize the weight of things and purposefully hinder myself#then later hate myself for hindering even tho it felt so good and right in the beginning ORGHH or WHATEVER#idk one of my friends told me my style reminded them of the new tmnt movie (which has been praised yeah#for like beautiful ugliness tho) and like. i KNOW it's a compliment... but. why did it make me Feel 😭 like i wanted to rip my art 2 shreds#once i lined my art and my friend (an artist i admire) said smthin like 'omg finally! ted lined art! gorgeous!'#& i KNOW. I KNOW IT'S A COMPLIMENT. BUT WHY AM I THINKING LIKE. SO VIOLENT. NOT ABT THEM. BUT MY SHIT NOW#like UGHHH i just HATE feeling trapped and helpless when actually theres help available but im just DUM!! JUST LINE UR ART TED#art is like playing sport is like making good grades is like working well is like being a good friend is like being a good person#literally. just be GOOD.#it's all a performance to me ARGHARGH! I HATE THE JOKER! I HATE BEING CRINGE@! RAGGHH I HATE THIS SHIT#<- mfs when no basketball#mfw i cannot avoid enlightenment via the meaningless distractions i codepently craveRAGGHG!!!!!!1!
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5 chapters left hmm…
#i don’t think a rushed ending is what jjk deserves but i’m assuming gege is just tired/overworked rn#i also think whatever ending he has planned is something that he probably planned for a while… it’s just SO many loose ends rn#i don’t think 5 chapters can do it justice#like… at ALL#i’m assuming it’ll leave yuji alive while everyone is dead#or yuji will die and he’ll see everyone he saved in the afterlife/him and sukuna will be alone together in the afterlife idk#i just wish we got more info about satoru… and HIS whereabouts too#like he got off-screened and then was v blasé about his own death#kenjaku and yuuta… ig that was it#hakari & uraume aren’t important enough i think to have as the part of the last few chapters 😭#and then itafushi… idk what’s gonna happen there…#sigh. LOUD SIGH but alas…#i love jjk i don’t want it to end 😭#but if it does end i wanted it to be a proper ending#regardless of what happens i think gege should be proud that his first serialized manga was is and will remain v popular & v loved#he makes elite characters what can i say… how can a brain think of a gojo toji geto nanami choso and sukuna… how’d he Do That#personal
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it does suck some of the sdv mods like. they have a rly good idea and i want to have them in my game but the execution is like. weird
#i appreciate the idea of the diverse ginger island mod and i truly dont feel comfortable going to ginger island without it bc its Truly#gross in vanilla. but there r some aspects.of the mod that like. annoy me... theyre modtly rly petty#i also use the sprite replacements to make them look a bit better but they still are not. quite up to standard 4 me 😭😭#but aside from that judt some of the story rewrites seem like. a bit gratuitous and some of them weird me out#like aging up leo and having him have like. a romance with sam. is weird to me and i wish there was an option to leave that out#idk. and also i think some of the rewrites with birdies quest r like. weird... and some of the dialogue just comes off oddly idk.#idr wanna play sdv rn btw im just looking through my spreadsheetsnd thinking abt it..#its also like. i feel like ginger island needs like. Insanely major rewrites and i feel like dgi is kind of like. a bandaid solution#bc u still go to this island and build a resort there. yk... and i get that its like. ugh idk. itisnt rly my place to speak on it ig.#i just think abt it a bit basically. i appreciate the mod and the work that goes into it it just isnt like. my ideal version of the mod yk.
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Fumbled the social interaction 💔
#I never know if I’m overstepping or being overbearing or not doing enough and not trying hard when it comes to smth important#like how close is close enough to go ‘hey I think you need help for X problem!’#like weve known eachother for two years atp but also it’s a long distance friendship and I’m scared for her like babe this is NOT healthy#but I’m not judging her and I don’t want her to think I am#but them when smth potentially dangerous happens I don’t think I put enough weight into my reaction? so she might think i don’t care?#I’m talking about one specific situation rn but this has been happening for the past Few weeks 😭#like my mom will text me smth and my response will be dry#or my friend will ask for advice and I’ll just go into a full blown essay#a causal friend too like…#and i wish theyd just tell me 😭#like ‘i don’t want advice rn I want u to listen’#or ‘hey i need u to be blunt about this but don’t mention x specifically’#and problem is that I AM working on going ‘what do you need as a response rn?’#but not only do I have the most unfortunate motormouth but I type before I think too#so I respond dry as hell and then like an hour later I’m like ‘oh shit did you want advice?’#BUT ITS TOO LATE TO ASK#vent#I’m gonna kms#ig#it’s not even a vent fr#I’m not upset just nervous#I weigh every single relationship like a sims interaction#all I’m seeing are those minus signs above my head whenever I do anything
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hahaha STRESSING. so not prepared for my second english exam.
#gonna flunk ✌️#fucking ts eliot is going to be the death of me#the questions on him are always the hardest#and he’s already the one i struggle the most with 😭#the other two modules are better but i still don’t feel prepared#and also i can’t get to school early tomorrow like i wanted#so now i’m gonna be stressed in the morning#shitttttttttttt#i also haven’t prepared at all for my music exam#so uh. oopsie.#the music one should be fine bc it’s just an aural exam#but i do wish i had gone over the concepts again#anyway after tomorrow morning i never have to think about ts eliot ever again#so ig that’s something
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My love! it took me forever to find you! I had to make a new Tumblr account because I lost the password and email with my apple ID.
How have you been? What have I missed? I've missed you so much!
-Hazel
#nectar's rambling#♡ anon#anon message#♡ dear hazel ♡#spent +40 hours trying to find ur tag ngl–#I MISSED U SM THOUGH 😭🫶#promise I literally spent some days wondering if I should post something saying where are u bc imysm– 🥹#happy u're back tho <3#and didn't really miss much#i think?#been just interacting with anons and moots#maybe posting three or four yans#sobbed happily at bday wishes in my inbox#shared lil' silly pics about kitties#and ig that's it 🤡💪#buuut#how have u been bub? :D#mwah
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