#but ig this is just wishful thinking 😭
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Oh 100 % I agree that they had a talk afterwards. Both of them have emphasized communication throughout the 6 years they have been “together 😭💀,” so no way they didn’t have a heart to heart they never get like that with each other
they couldn't have not have the talk lbr like that fight was kind of crazy had people talking about bengals downfall burrow-chase connection fallout etc they got to have a heart-to-heart 😭 though i guess it wasn't really actually a fight?? ja'marr just got so fucking angry and joe had to cool him down and the way to cool him down quick was to yk shove at him and yell at him right back ig though 100% nobody else but joe would've away with it on that field lol
i've talked about it a bit here in the end!!
also after that infamous kc game shove, i definitely think they had a very tough heart to heart where ja'marr maybe spills his full feelings over the contract and how he hasn’t been getting the ball to actually make big plays and how his worth as a wr1 is being brought to question and joe probably spills on his own feelings on how ja'marr held out so long and had last minute (?) changes of playing that week one ramps up joe's own anxiety and hang ups like i definitely feel like he had some unchecked anxiety over playing with his wrist that first game that ja'marr probably said something incredibly insane yet uplifting about in response. the next game its like they mended some unseen frayed stitch of their connection! first drive banger of a 41 yarder td for jamarr, two tuddys for the game in fact lol!! joe gets him his deep ball, then the insane way joe rushed at him after his 63 yarder in the next game, its like that first touchdown against minnesota again. i just wish the very best for them, to keep making these insane passes and insane runs they’ve been making since lsu.
that's pretty much it lmao but there's some more word vomit below that might a bit much tbh:
okay like i was new at this during the first few weeks okay I've not been here for their lsu to bengals run and my understanding of their burrow-chase throw-catch connection by which i mean like actual football playing qb-wr gameplay was still being learned!! i absolute did not know any rules of the game that first week i watched 😭 didn't even know how you got 7pts out a touchdown etc etc sorry i really was just there for the pretty men who had their faces covered by helmets 90% of the time lmao and from what i saw it was kind of meh you know???
like I've watched their highlights before don't get me wrong i know they got it. the touchdowns??? the way joe throws and ja'marr runs??? crazyyyyyy how the fuck does joe know exactly where ja'marr was going to run, how the fuck did ja'marr know exactly how far joe was going to throw, and like this could absolutely be attributed to the way they plan things with coaches and play calling etc but!! doesn't change the fact that in the end it just takes two people to do that shit and they've understood each other so well to have done it near perfectly!! like it made me understand why there's so much poetry and romance in sports!!! the trust the connection the whatever i can't find words the point is i didn't really like......see that in the first two games??? like there was some kind of disconnect yk and like idk they played like shit 😭 but keep in mind i was completely unknowledgeable of football like at all and i refuse to rewatch those games so maybe i was just stupid and didn't see it lmao
BUT THEN???? the week 3 game?????? ja'marr's first touchdown of the season???????? THAT was the shit i was waiting for like iirc ja'marr and tee were running their way down by the sidelines getting double teamed (?) each idk ja'marr was definitely double teamed had me doubting they'd make it but joe threw an absolutely beautiful ball at him and ja'marr caught that shit over his shoulder!?!?!?!??! brought it right home too!!!!!!! i was so gassedddddd i was exhilarated like completely 100% fell in love with the sport that was amazing that was literally my first live burrow-chase touchdown!!!!!!
(another fucking list sorry) me being the Master Speculator of Shit that i am made my own stupid ass narratives about how:
they were unsure of their game and each other's lmao hear me out. joe's first game back after the devastating wrist injury that was hell to get back into form to, had to deal with all the noise about him never going to be able to throw the way he used to again and knew just how many fucking eyes would be on him that first game back watching his wrist like bloodthirsty hawks. even if i believe that he's the type of person who can completely block out that noise without flinching, some subconscious and fearful part of him had to have been holding him back. the numerous, numerous, painful clips of him twisting his wrists repeatedly, fidgeting harder than he's ever fidgeted before, the water bottle stupidity that he actually got asked about, etc (god i can't imagine being a celebrity having your anxious shit caught on camera and analyzed so loudly over the internet). and then you add in how ja'marr's been in a contract holdout and clearly bothered as all hell about it because it's just not getting done at all even d-1 of their opening week!! insane. there were questions of ja'marr even playing game 1 and joe of course said unflinchingly that ja'marr would be ready week 1 regardless but completely understandable if he's rattled okay!! if ja'marr wasn't really planning on playing (wasn't he listed as questionable due to illness idk i forgot) suddenly switching up however many hours before to actually playing that's gotta fuck up joe's steady structure that he already prepared beforehand of not playing with ja'marr you know??? like basically a) anxiety over his wrist, b) ja'marr's sudden status as active messing up his pregame, and c) everybody and their grandmothers all up in his business for his first game back.
ja'marr's contract situation. people absolutely saying the foulest shit about his decision to hold out, the amount of money he asked, saying to boot him out, calling him a diva /derogatory, comparing him to justin, tee's contract situation, etc. the fo being the one to open convo about his extension only to not be open to his numbers??? sensible numbers if you think abt it btw and now well lmao good luck fo his agent must be smug as all hell. it maybe planted seeds of doubt and insecurity in him on his worth as WR1 you know?? like why are they acting like he isn't worth all that fucking money. incredibly emotional highly intelligent sensitive pisces that he is gets understandably more and more pissed off and defensive about literally everything but he fucking loves this sport and he loves his guys so he decides to play the game 1 anyway and. well. just. sigh.
the game went to shit and ja'marr played idk better than the rest of the receivers but in all honesty everyone was kind of shit?? and like. they lost to the patriots. who literally got beaten belt to ass by the dolphins last week. but anyways game 2 against ja'marr's most Hated capital h and everything fucking chiefs 😭 yeah with the whole contract situation still up in the air there was no way he wasn't going to have some sort of meltdown tbh. hence the fight....where joe got physical with him.....where his actions definitely contributed heavily to their loss which should have been a win.
and so: the talk. like i said they both talked about their anxieties no holds barred literally all the shit i wrote above and apologized to each other the way men usually do idk bro hugged it out maybe. i genuinely think ja'marr went off on joe on not getting the ball more like????? i can't explain it damn it he definitely chewed him out on it and joe was like 'fuck okay'. ja'marr says he never notices shit about how joe throws the ball so maybe he doesn't notice anything about joe's wrist acting up. but maybe he notices that joe's holding back or there's some sort of hang up over the way he plays and needles it out of him point-blank like the person that he is and joe finally talks about it and ja'marr responds by being 100% insane like he usually does and that sort of devotion and sheer stubbornness on one's belief in who you are has to have some kind of impact on joe damn. they probably got some professional therapy too btw at least i hope so :'). but basically ja'marr just wants the ball more and joe gets him the fucking ball.
ja'marr said something along the lines of him finding joy playing again 😔🤚 this was such a comment like god he hasn't been playing happy at all and when he put to rest the contract shit he finally gets to play a sport he loves with joy!!! him being happy is so fucking important to me wow 😭 i think I've said this before in some post idk but he knows he messed up, he knows the contract negotiation fucked up his emotions so bad he brings it on the field so he nips that shit quick and done. no more contract talks until the next offseason. probably made it clear to joe though that he will not leave but fuck if he's listening to any bullshit from the fo when he's got a game to win and a super bowl to get to and idk about you but that probably healed something in joe like there is the guy who gets him. who's as hungry as he is for a win, for a ring, for a championship. who's got his back, who he can trust to be there on the other end of the field to catch his throws.
the next game!!!!!!!!! god i really am not the person to talk about routes or strategy or whatever but i know for damn sure that that was a beautiful throw and that was a beautiful catch and that was a one-of-a-kind connection. like they fixed something that was unknowingly dented in their connection and like they're finally trusting themselves and each other again to make the big plays they've done before the injury and the contract drama you know????? aurrugrgrhrh i can't word anything out i feel like saying more about this but i cant please get me anyway 😭
this entire emotional roller coaster thing was also the main reason they had those kind of helmet bonks on the next 63 yard td and 70 yard td btw. been a long while since they've had those kind of plays, probably had some unnamed unknowing unacknowledged doubts that they would ever have it again, so it was like the first time all over again lol. (was one of the things joe said to him in that little bubble of their celly after the ravens 70 yarder something like 'see i knew we still got it. i knew you still got it.' god i feel insane)
ok bye......
#ask#ururgurhurhh man its good i wasnt really there for tees contract news and like the entire run of jamarrs contract hold out 😭#i would have been insufferable 😭#and like the day of the kc game shove too btw people would've had me blocked 😭😭#this got long....as per usual....i apologize........#joemarr#joemarr meta#joe burrow#ja'marr chase
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new ship to distract me from the possible ruin of roxchie (x)
#GOD THEY HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL#AND THEY ALL JUST WENT DOWN THE DRAIN#truly genuinely believe the writers intended for them#to be paired up together from the very beginning#kasi all the pairings from the collab project#now have some sort of romantic plot except for them 😔#ANG GANDA SANA NG ARC NA 'TO#rich it girl bully x poor awkward shy introverted drug pusher 🤣#THE POSSIBILITIES ARE ENDLESS FOR THEM 😭#kaso wala 😃#also !#a friend pointed out na#the fact na z's lolo is the drug pin king#and obet is one of the pushers#really shows na they have some sort of connection 😭#(now that they're showing z taking some medicinal#or whatever kind of drugs#there still might be some possibility for this ship to at least#have an open ending 😭)#but ig this is just wishful thinking 😭#hayst#ni-rush kasi nila i-end yung show e 🥲#senior high#zbet#zobet#daniela stranner#LOVE HER !#kyle echarri#zyra aguerro#obet santana
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oh yay
just found a Noah hate post
I felt angry enough to screenshot it so enjoy losing faith in humanity ig (btw just to clarify I’m okay with ppl disagreeing with Noah’s beliefs but wishing on his death and sending threats to him is more than crossing a line,it’s so horrible and disgusting especially the homophobic and sa threats he gets)
(btw that’s my comment at the top defending him bc I got a little annoyed but yeah,this really annoyed me like where did ppls common sense and basic human empathy go???)
#noah schnapp#losing faith in humanity#why are we bringing his political beliefs into this now😭#I feel so bad for him#I hate that I have to share air with the same ppl who are saying they wish death or worse on a 19-20 year old#Even if it is a joke (which it’s doesn’t seem like it is) it’s crossing a line SENDING him threats not js joking about it in comments#Which once again I don’t think these are jokes but oh well ig I have faith in them#I’m guilty for saying I’ll kill the duffers but that’s obviously a joke this just seems like it’s not 😭😭#I never intended to become a Noah défense blog but here I am😭
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i am once again thinking about The Boy
not the movie lol
#give it up for day 13#how has it just been 13 days since my first time seeing him in so long#🙈💕 i like how i haven't had A Crush in a sec and the last person it was on was him lol.#there's a lot of little stuff that's changed since then abt myself and between us ig but good lord i have never been more attracted to him#than i am now 😵💫😵💫 seeing him in sweats and a sleeveless turtleneck that first day has just had him in my head every day since#like HELP he's hot 😭 but then like... so am i omg (。ノω\。) actually cleaning my place finally so i can have him over lol#i know I'm hot but at the same time i forget ykwim.. until i look in a mirror or see a picture and I'm like oh right i exist.#anyways ms ma'am is getting better at talking to her friends abt these kinds of things ʕ ꈍᴥꈍʔ ♡#i say that there's nothing I'd do for a lover that i wouldn't do for a friend and that i just love ppl fundamentally#and i know this is my true self‚ but I'm somewhat new to living that in practice and on purpose.#I'm a little clumsy i think but no one's seemed to mind 🙈💕 i am happy that I'm learning and i am happy to deepen my friendship#and i look forward to how much easier this will be to navigate a yr from now ^.^ I've been polyamorous for a year and a half ig#and i feel like I've found my comfort zone yk? :3 ♡ what being polyamorous Means To Me#it's good to be here.. i look forward to the friends i will make after i move and i wish i was more forward w the boy sooner omg#but it's okay. he won't be Too far away it's just a bit of a trip. i wanna have him over a couple times before i leave tho and hopefully#many more at the next place ૮ ᴖﻌᴖა ♡ but i will visit him too hehe his family's rly nice
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tl reminded me of daigo alone at the bar after mine's death its high time i go to bed now
#snap chats#sorry im a cowboy this week ig who the fuck says 'high time'. please get shot#at high noon ..... high time i was shot at high noon on my high horse ... or waht the fuck ever#anyway idc if i literally. make this post every mont its just amazing how im still not over it#dark ass dank ass lonely ass bar daigo sittin in . at least the bartender there .... hi friend .#he's an integral character to me in minedai lore i wish he had a name#he was the witness to minedai. i was gonna say he's the only one that can vouch it was real#but dawg lbr ... hamazaki fuckin knew what am I talkin about 😭😭 like he's dead too but 💀💀💀#BUT DATE FUCKIN KNEW DAWG still mental how this was.n ot at all a fucking secret#like yall think that was ever a thought whether they were Together together or not#just 'it could be troublesome if everyone knew how close i am with this guy' or something like that#meanwhile everyone and their third cousin's aware of the homosexual relations between the tojo chairman and his captain#A tier trope ..... ok im sleeping now lest i stay up all night thinking of minedai. again.#good night everyone i saw creepypasta on my dashboard some minutes ago and im concerned for the year im in
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I'm gonna have to work on my final project non stop for like a month straight bc I procrastinated on it too much fuck my stupid baka life
#.txt#also I have to do a movie pitch for it bitch it's an amv with intentionally one dimensional characters 😭 tf do I even say about it#at least the characters are like. knockoff jaime and tommen so its almost like im drawing asoiaf fanart#unfortunately I've come to hate them. the knockoffs I mean#I wanna change the designs a bit so they dont resemble my blorbos as much. i think im gonna give the kid darker hair#ok well discount jaime just looks like him with 2 hands and a blue cape 💀and I cant change him atp#my worst mistake was giving him like. a solid metal skirt armor thing bc its a pain in the ass to animate#at the start of the year I had the most work done out of everyone how did this happen#its bc they started nitpicking the story and I kinda lost motivation to work on it lke this shit is stupid. and cringe#by they I mean the extra screenwriting teachers we had a couple lessons with which like. this is an animation course not a writing course#I'd get it if it was like. a full time school but we have 2 3 hour classes a week we dont have time for this shit man#ig my mistake was that my idea didn't start from the story it started from the song I wanted to make a cool music video for it#its not that the story is nonsensical or anything its just a very basic fairytale esque thing nothing groundbreaking#'but you're not SAYING anything with this' I'm not trying to omg just let me make my little amv :(#does everything need a plot twist or to subvert expectations is it not enough that it looks cool#there's a couple people who are worse off than me in terms of how much they've done but also theres a couple that are nearly done#looking at them like god I wish that were me.....#and also I think I accidentally overwrote a shot I worked on for 3 hours. killing myself#maybe I can restore a previous version but its on the school computer and the school is closed for a week so im not gonna know until then
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i think itis funny in the past when i would list my interests as if i post abt them i donot post abt the shit im into rly Mainly bc im not rly Into Into anything anymore i occasionally watch or read or play something but i dont do fandom stuff rly much.... just sometimes i get brainworms
#do i still list my interests somewhere i dont knowwww#i just stopped rly being into fandom a few years ago combination depression antipathy + bad experiences in fandom spaces#but idk. me listing my interests didnt rly accomplish anything for anyone bc it was just like anddd just so you know i was crazy abt this#video game for a rly long time it probably wont ever come up again but it might maybe one day. yk. ig its just sharing info Which is one#supposes the point of all of this but idk#its not that im cagey abt my interests except that one which i cant talk abt publically bc its a triple a game and im embarassed abt it. no#anything bad im just embarrassed . its not anything any of my oomfies have ever posted abt either so its just for me. and lamp . and when#the third game comes out i might post very very very vaguely abt it ......... possibly.#but ya its like. idk i think you guys have to find out abt my plague tale obsession on your own through lived experience. aka just me seein#like the word king and randomly collapsing to the floor and going KING HUGO 😭😭😭😭😭 oh god hugo guys oh god . please play plague tale#i wish i had finished that tw thing i started making but then i got too focused on the color palette and making it look nice and i stopped.#umm tw child death animal death The plague some gorey stuff theres some cult things in the second game ummm. yeah ..... its rly special to#me tho i love those games PLAY PLAGUE TALE!!! and if u need more indepth tws ill give them to you even if i have to replay both games to#refresh my memory... lamp wont play plaguetale with me (not their speed) so im all alone </3 but i miss it i might replay soon... i wish i#was in like discord servers so i could play it on call w ppl or something <- is in discord servers but is shy and Also i feel like playing#game on call is like a level like 2 friendship thing and i cant even do level 1 friendship things like i feel i need to at least be talking#regularly in a server b4 i like try to do Calls in the server esp for plague tale bc its like a 1p game so wed need a rapport to like have#shit to talk abt and etc ..... i could just infodump abt the game but again i feel doing that to like strangers/oomfies would b weird. ik i#come on here and talk abt whatever i want but its like you guys dont Have to read this and its not like a server where Yeah im not talking#to one person but im still like Oh well ive sent a message and its in the channel and everybody just has to look at it and whatever.#but on here i post i nobody cares and it just gets pushed down and its Fine bc its not like anybody has to feel obliged to respond#which is fine. you know.. i just hate being like a nuisance i hate . idk how to phrase. imposing myself on others ig.. which is dumb bc the#i turn around and whine abt how i have no friends and its like Maybe that is bc you donot talk to anyone bc yr scared they will be annoyed#with you and you dont leave the house and have no interests to bond with ppl and etc. but basically the difference is ive written all this#and you guys can just not read it or you can just read it and ignore it and its different. even tho i am like addressing you and i do have#like. weird parasocial thing with My followers or whatever where i talk directly to you YES YOU! reading this. IDKK im rambling so much i#dont know what im talking abt anymore. i proooooobably need to go to sleep im hungry tho but im not but i am. but i think my sleep is getti#off schedule again i had trouble sleeping yesterday too... ugh
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:|
#up at 4 for no reason lollolololllllll#and my brain has decided to fixate on glowstick club show the moment of like#delaying our show start time and waiting to hear from someone abt if we could start#so i could tell our members when we were starting#and i have thought abt this show sm but i haven’t thought abt that moment lmfao ??????#why am i suddenly only thinking abt that#and also thinking abt the stage manager bc i don’t think we were great w her 😭😭😭#not that we were rude or bad or anything but just personally i feel like i was thinking abt a lot of stuff#ig probably understandably but after the show ppl said the stage manager was frustrated or like#wished we were more communicative#which also lowkey wasn’t my job necessarily bc we have a logistics chair for that#but she was working w the lighting person and lemme not start thinking abt that too bc illl also start feeling bad abt that LMAO#bro like the show was great why am i like brain pooping all over it rn#like tiny little moments that probably no one remembers lol#but aso i need to actually send a msg related to this show that i’ve been procrastinating to shit#abt videos from our show that still haven’t been uploaded that i put audio on and uploaded to drive#overthinking it bc i am not in like a pleadership position anymore so#what am i doing asking them if we can upload these vids soon LOL#but also i asked over a week ago and was ghosted 😭😭😭#so i rly gotta follow up lol ANYWAY#can i pls finish this bedtime fic and have my brain shut up and sleep lol#but also i just don’t want to sleep c:#jeanne talks
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after all these years of just trying to accept my body the way it is there's still a part of me that thinks no one will ever love me bc of my physical appearance
#this is what being made fun of for being fat and ugly as a kid will do to you i guess lollllll#like cmon girl we've been over this beforeeeeeeeeee#but idk its just like. every time i like someone im always like theres no way theyd go for someone like me.....#like ofc they're gonna go for a pretty and skinny girl yk.....and that aint me#cause like yeah my body is the main issue here but i think in other ways im not conventionally pretty#like i have acne and my teeth are really crooked and ~ unique ~ lmfao#gotta keep working on it ig.........but boy is it hard. most of the time i wish i wasn't me 🫡#anyway i know ive been talking too much abt this but im going through it rn (like every other day tbh) and i need to vent 😭😭😭#raquel speaks#// body image
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Some more portraits :) I've drawn too much fanart, I need to return to creature comforts shdkkf
#i think when i have no big plans i just end up drawing these kinda portraits#as practice yknow and also cause the characters are comforting to me#smth i think a lot abt is how i used to be so scared of not being able to draw a character consistently +#that i would keep tracing off whatever the prev drawing was to keep their face consistent#but now i just find that so silly 😭#the only time ive done that recently is just for fanart bcs their faces are obv like a pretty strict thing#but for ocs its like evolution ig. draw them however i wish :)#and i think ive def gotten better w consistency#anyways maybe ill end up drawing a lot more characters than i usually do!! these are going pretty smooth#i usually only finish 1 or 2. sketch a couple more and then give up#but these are sooooo fun to me :D ty guys for asking abt them <3#catie.art.
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having so many feelings about dff ep 7
#i think i felt every emotion during that episode#had to pause it and take a breath so many times#anyway i wish them all a very die#dff#dead friend forever#dff ep7#dff ep7 spoilers#well now we know what jin did ig#phee is 100% playing jin#i think thats gonna be the last time phee saw non and hes gonna regret it#when they all get back hes gonna be like okay ive calmed down i wanna talk to him where is non#and non just never came back and thats when he did this whole elaborate revenge plan of being invited to the group#i dont think future him knows what happened to non besides guessing#i cant fucking believe jin posted that video#for all he knew non was doing it against his will#phee crying when he first saw the teacher and non was actually heart breaking#non bestie 😭 i feel like phee wouldve understood if you explained it to him#anyway to bring this to kimchay beacuse i cant stop making everything about kimchay#kim seeing chay being abused by his teacher and going feral
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gege needs to retire his character death note and hand it off to asagiri i swear 😭
#my sister (misinformed) told me yuta died in the latest jjk ch and i was so nervous looking at leaks#bc its smthn gege /would/ do and i really like yuta#thankfully he’s fine he just made an appearance in the latest ch thats all#tell me why my first thought after was ‘man that was a thrill i wish new bsd chapters made me feel like this’ 😭#my biggest gripe w. bsd will forever be how all the characters always come out of battles completely unscathed#nevermind the 500 injuries they sustained#nobody ever dies or gets new battle scars or life changing wounds etc etc it kinda makes the stakes boring when you know the character will#be fine when alls said and done#and honestly this wouldn’t be problem for me if ! asagiri didnt deathbait so damn much !#he’s allergic to actually killing off a character and thats how i Know fyodor prob isnt dead#and neither is sigma bc fyodors ability is still a big mystery and we need them to reveal it for us#bc asagiri never killed anyone major off in the main manga before its hard to believe that he killed these two off 🤷♀️#and ig fukuchi but all those theories of him being the masked man at the s5 cliffhanger has me squinting suspiciously#tbh idc if its my fav character who dies if it’ll make the plot more interesting then send them to the gallows !!#(okay maybe not lucy but she barely gets any panel time shhh)#like i like fukuzawa but i also think itd be interesting to see what would’ve happened if he died in the battle vs fukuchi#bc the aftermath would be a change in status quo and it would’ve been interesting to see the change in dynamics in the ada and#how they deal w. his loss !!#on the other hand gege killing off his characters too frequently . . . doesnt rlly need an explanation#(jjk spoilers?) now w. yuta going up against sukuna . . . please keep him safe gege i beg 🥲#anyways. enough rambling now to go back to shoving bsd to the back of my mind lol#ayra croaks
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tbh tho i think my art is fugly af LMFAO
#not in a '>w< eeeek! i wish i could drawww 🥺 i can only cobble such measle crap with my lowly peasant paws.. *unveils mona lisa*'#sense but like a my style makes me want to hurl whenever i look at it bcs it's a constant reminder that it can only be what i can make it be#and bcs it looks bad to me then that means i cant make things look good if u get my sense like#idk man 😭!! im just sick of being scribbly!! and not clean! i wanna ink my art! have crisp lines! dark lines!!#not have to put stupid darkening filters on everything bcs i cant color or shade so my art is just stuck with the blinding white background#well the frustration is more how i CAN color and shade.. i CAN ink my lines with a darker one#lets not excuse my laziness now cmon ted omg dumbass bitch#it's just that doing so makes me . crazy#my attention span like. crumbles when i try to add color or ink over lines bcs thats Such a commitment to me#i HATE leaving things unfinished when it seems so monumental#like unfinished sketches or prompts? fine. those are sketches. little prompts. even if u post it it's shit#but starting big things is a COMMITMENT.. with CONSEQUENCES ! ! i just want to avoid them ig#it's like im stuck between art being a fun lil past time and being a perfectionist actually so no. no it is not#but also i NEED to draw i NEED to write SOMETHING! SOMETHING!! then i realize the weight of things and purposefully hinder myself#then later hate myself for hindering even tho it felt so good and right in the beginning ORGHH or WHATEVER#idk one of my friends told me my style reminded them of the new tmnt movie (which has been praised yeah#for like beautiful ugliness tho) and like. i KNOW it's a compliment... but. why did it make me Feel 😭 like i wanted to rip my art 2 shreds#once i lined my art and my friend (an artist i admire) said smthin like 'omg finally! ted lined art! gorgeous!'#& i KNOW. I KNOW IT'S A COMPLIMENT. BUT WHY AM I THINKING LIKE. SO VIOLENT. NOT ABT THEM. BUT MY SHIT NOW#like UGHHH i just HATE feeling trapped and helpless when actually theres help available but im just DUM!! JUST LINE UR ART TED#art is like playing sport is like making good grades is like working well is like being a good friend is like being a good person#literally. just be GOOD.#it's all a performance to me ARGHARGH! I HATE THE JOKER! I HATE BEING CRINGE@! RAGGHH I HATE THIS SHIT#<- mfs when no basketball#mfw i cannot avoid enlightenment via the meaningless distractions i codepently craveRAGGHG!!!!!!1!
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5 chapters left hmm…
#i don’t think a rushed ending is what jjk deserves but i’m assuming gege is just tired/overworked rn#i also think whatever ending he has planned is something that he probably planned for a while… it’s just SO many loose ends rn#i don’t think 5 chapters can do it justice#like… at ALL#i’m assuming it’ll leave yuji alive while everyone is dead#or yuji will die and he’ll see everyone he saved in the afterlife/him and sukuna will be alone together in the afterlife idk#i just wish we got more info about satoru… and HIS whereabouts too#like he got off-screened and then was v blasé about his own death#kenjaku and yuuta… ig that was it#hakari & uraume aren’t important enough i think to have as the part of the last few chapters 😭#and then itafushi… idk what’s gonna happen there…#sigh. LOUD SIGH but alas…#i love jjk i don’t want it to end 😭#but if it does end i wanted it to be a proper ending#regardless of what happens i think gege should be proud that his first serialized manga was is and will remain v popular & v loved#he makes elite characters what can i say… how can a brain think of a gojo toji geto nanami choso and sukuna… how’d he Do That#personal
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it does suck some of the sdv mods like. they have a rly good idea and i want to have them in my game but the execution is like. weird
#i appreciate the idea of the diverse ginger island mod and i truly dont feel comfortable going to ginger island without it bc its Truly#gross in vanilla. but there r some aspects.of the mod that like. annoy me... theyre modtly rly petty#i also use the sprite replacements to make them look a bit better but they still are not. quite up to standard 4 me 😭😭#but aside from that judt some of the story rewrites seem like. a bit gratuitous and some of them weird me out#like aging up leo and having him have like. a romance with sam. is weird to me and i wish there was an option to leave that out#idk. and also i think some of the rewrites with birdies quest r like. weird... and some of the dialogue just comes off oddly idk.#idr wanna play sdv rn btw im just looking through my spreadsheetsnd thinking abt it..#its also like. i feel like ginger island needs like. Insanely major rewrites and i feel like dgi is kind of like. a bandaid solution#bc u still go to this island and build a resort there. yk... and i get that its like. ugh idk. itisnt rly my place to speak on it ig.#i just think abt it a bit basically. i appreciate the mod and the work that goes into it it just isnt like. my ideal version of the mod yk.
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Fumbled the social interaction 💔
#I never know if I’m overstepping or being overbearing or not doing enough and not trying hard when it comes to smth important#like how close is close enough to go ‘hey I think you need help for X problem!’#like weve known eachother for two years atp but also it’s a long distance friendship and I’m scared for her like babe this is NOT healthy#but I’m not judging her and I don’t want her to think I am#but them when smth potentially dangerous happens I don’t think I put enough weight into my reaction? so she might think i don’t care?#I’m talking about one specific situation rn but this has been happening for the past Few weeks 😭#like my mom will text me smth and my response will be dry#or my friend will ask for advice and I’ll just go into a full blown essay#a causal friend too like…#and i wish theyd just tell me 😭#like ‘i don’t want advice rn I want u to listen’#or ‘hey i need u to be blunt about this but don’t mention x specifically’#and problem is that I AM working on going ‘what do you need as a response rn?’#but not only do I have the most unfortunate motormouth but I type before I think too#so I respond dry as hell and then like an hour later I’m like ‘oh shit did you want advice?’#BUT ITS TOO LATE TO ASK#vent#I’m gonna kms#ig#it’s not even a vent fr#I’m not upset just nervous#I weigh every single relationship like a sims interaction#all I’m seeing are those minus signs above my head whenever I do anything
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