#but if you’ve seen any of my other updates I’m doing a lot better than I was

[ismellbitches]

“It meant nothing to me”

[stevie-petey]

episode three: the pollywog

Steve looks over at you, not necessarily amused, but flattered nonetheless. “You know my class schedule?” A blush spreads across your face as you look away from him, but Steve still sees it and something flutters in his chest. He’s always thought you were pretty when you blushed, but you’re even prettier when he’s the reason why. “I pay attention,” you dodge.

Summary: you lecture jonathan about daddy issues and then have an intellectual debate about healthy relationships, you play Mr. Love Dr with Steve, nancy and jonathan go on a sick side quest (and actually inform you this time !), meanwhile: you're about to put a leash on your damn brother.

Rating: general, some curing

Warnings: use of y/n, fem!reader, cursing, slight reference to billy being mean and trauma

Words: 6.7k

Before you swing in: hello ! my first day of spring semester is tomorrow, so here's a quick lil chapter for yall :) i wont have a lot of time to update as frequently anymore, but i promise i will continue to update as much as i can <3 in the meantime, enjoy this chapter n have a lovely day my dears !!

-

Like most mornings, you’re up and ready before Dustin has even woken up.

“Dustin! C’mon, wake up! Jonathan will be here soon and–” You try to open your brother’s door, but it’s locked. “What the–? Dustin! Hello?”

You begin pounding on his door, trying and failing to get in, and right as you’re about to break the door down, your mom comes in from the kitchen. “Y/N, Dusty has already left.”

“Left? Like, he went to school already?” No way in hell that kid has just decided to get up and ready for school any earlier than he needed to. That kid could sleep thirty hours if given the chance.

“Yup! He left pretty early this morning, said he had a test to study for.” Your mom says as she wanders back towards the kitchen to make her usual cup of coffee.

“Huh,” you’re starting to worry that maybe Dustin is hiding something. First he blocked the door from you last night, now he’s supposedly leaving early for some test? He’s hiding something, you know he is. What worries you, though, is that Dustin hasn’t felt the need to hide anything from you since the whole El fiasco.

Which hadn’t ended well.

As you’re lost in thought, mentally going through Dustin’s actions these last few days, Jonathan walks through your front door, keys in hand.

“Hey, bug. Ready to go?”

“Yeah,” you shake your head to clear any more thoughts. You’ll interrogate Dustin later. “Let me grab my bag, one sec.”

Jonathan nods before he’s attacked by your mom, who pulls him into a hug squeals. “Jonathan!”

“You saw me last night, Mrs. Henderson.” He pats her back awkwardly, mouthing “help me” towards you, but you only laugh and grab your bag from your room.

As soon as you have your stuff, you and Jonathan head out. You sneak some glances at him while he drives, memories from last night crashing back. The party… Well, who could’ve seen any of that coming? Considering how shitty the night turned out, Jonathan looks better at least. However, the bruises on his knuckles make you frown.

“I’m sorry about Billy,” you say, grabbing the bruised hand. His skin is rough against yours, but familiar all the same.

Jonathan gives you an incredulous look. “You’re sorry?”

“Yes…?”

“Bug, no. We aren’t doing this.” He shakes his head, pulling his hand away to run it through his hair. “You have nothing to be sorry for. Billy was being a piece of shit, you needed my help, so I did what any sane person would do.”

You’re silent, not used to having such aggression from Jonathan aimed at you. He’s not necessarily mad at you, but you and him have had some issues in the past about stuff like this. You’ve always apologized for other people’s actions, as if you getting hurt is somehow always your fault. He hates that you do it.

You hate that you always do it. But you can’t help it, it’s almost second nature at this point.

Jonathan, reading your mind, sighs. His anger dissipates and he grabs your hand now, kissing your knuckles softly. “I’m sorry for yelling. I just… You mean the world to me, Y/N. I love you, I will always be there for you. I’d punch Billy a million more times if I needed to, without you ever having to ask me.”

“I know, but–”

“If you feel guilty I will pull this car over and shake your pretty little head until I finally knock some sense into it.”

Finally, you laugh. “Now that’s just dramatic.”

“Do I need to pull over?”

“No,” you raise your hands up in surrender. “I’ll shut up now.”

Jonathan nods his head. “Good, just the way I like it.”

You smack his chest, and he fake screams in pain. He makes a show of it, hunching himself over while he drives and clutches at his chest, which you giggle at. He’s laughing as well, and it’s one of your “normal” moments that have become so few and far between. Just you and Jonathan, giggling in his car early in the morning as you drive to school, your laughter is just enough to keep the two of you warm.

Jonathan’s ladybug ring catches the morning light and the bee wrapped around your neck buzzes against your skin.

But “normal” never lasts long anymore, and you remember Nancy’s drunken eyes from last night and Steve’s loneliness in his voice when he asked you why everyone keeps leaving him. The memories cause your giggles to fade off, the small moment of joy now gone.

Jonathan sees your mood change and, because he’s always on the same page as you, purses his lips. “So… It’s now tomorrow.”

“Yeah,” you sigh, remembering telling him last you’d talk about Steve and Nancy tomorrow. “It’s now tomorrow.”

“Why’d you insist on driving Steve home?”

The question is innocent enough, but you sense that how you answer it could change things. “He was upset.”

“Sure, but you almost bit my head off when I last asked about that guy. Then you wanted to drive him home?” Jonathan keeps his eyes on the road ahead of him, though he clenches his jaw ever so slightly. But you see it. You always see it.

“Bee… I had to, okay? Please, can we just leave it at that?” You don’t want to talk about your fucking feelings with the first boy you’ve ever loved, the boy who doesn’t love you back.

Jonathan swallows, takes another deep breath, and then nods. “I took Nancy home, like Steve asked. She was… Very drunk. Had to carry her into bed.”

“I’m sorry about that, too.”

“You didn’t shove alcohol down her throat.”

“No, but I did encourage her to go to that stupid party while she was fighting with Steve.”

“Steve and Nancy have been fighting?”

Shit. You forgot that Jonathan didn’t know.

“Okay, yes” you say, but right as Jonathan’s eyes light up, you’re quick to backtrack. “But if I tell you anything else, you have to swear to keep it between us. Got it?”

“I won’t say a word.”

You sigh, really hoping you aren’t breaking Nancy’s trust. Technically, she hadn’t asked you to keep your conversation from yesterday private, but… It feels wrong telling Jonathan about it. “Nancy and Steve have been fighting, yes, but not in the way you’d think.”

You’ve arrived at school, so Jonathan quickly parks the car before motioning for you to keep talking. “Go on, I’m curious now.”

“God, you’re a worse gossip than I am. Anyways, she’s mad at Steve for brushing off Barb’s death, in a sense. But also, like… Steve isn’t really brushing off Barb’s death? I think he just wants to help Nancy, those are his intentions, but he doesn’t know how. He thinks dinner dates, going to parties, and spending a lot of time together will get her mind off of things.”

Jonathan scoffs. “Well, babying Nancy won’t help.”

“I know, and you’re right, but Nancy should have expressed this to Steve better, don’t you think? I mean, we don’t know what happened last night, but it seems like she tried drinking away her anger towards him rather than actually talking to him.”

“And how can we know Steve wouldn’t just run away or something? Actually be up for it, be proactive rather than retroactive. It seems like Nancy needs to do something about Barb’s death.”

Frustration builds within you. “And what good does assuming something actually do? Assuming that Steve wouldn’t listen is wholly unfair and honestly, a bit rude. He’s her boyfriend, she can’t just assume he wouldn’t care. Steve has done everything he can to show he cares, that he loves her, so I think Nancy should be the one to voice her feelings and let him know what she needs. What she wants.”

Jonathan looks away. “And what should Nancy want, bug?”

You’re silent.

Somehow, you and Jonathan aren’t fighting about Steve and Nancy anymore.

“I… I don’t know.” You look out the window, watching as students pass by.

After a tense silence, Jonathan tries to crack a joke. “Oh, you’ll laugh at this! Caught Bob sneaking out the house like some shameful teenage boy this morning.”

You turn towards him now. “Why would I laugh at that? I think it’s sweet, your mom seems happy.”

“Sure, but…” Jonathan’s smile falters, not expecting you to be so stoic as a reaction. “He’s kinda a loser, you gotta admit.”

“Jonathan Byers, I literally had to save you from bullies, five times my size, as a girl, when we were twelve.”

“Okay, I didn’t mean it like that–”

“You should be nicer about Bob. He’s a good guy, he actually cares about you, Will, and your mom. After the hell you guys went through with Lonnie, you should be appreciative of Bob.” You’re so angry now, your fists shake with rage. “You have a healthy father figure in your life now, which I would kill to give Dustin, and even if you don’t like him, you’re luckier for it.”

Jonathan is quiet. He’s staring down at his steering wheel in shame, and you feel bad for snapping so suddenly. You aren’t sorry for your anger towards him, his attitude towards Bob has been bothering you for a while. However, it doesn’t mean you have to be a bitch about it just because of your own issues surrounding shitty dads.

“I’m sorry, bee. You have a right to feel uncomfortable about the change, but I just think you should give Bob a chance. I like the guy.” You offer, looking over at your friend tentatively.

“No, you’re right. I know you are, it just takes some getting used to, I guess.” He grabs your hand, gives it a squeeze as if to tell you it’s all good now, and you squeeze his hand back.

“Great drive to school today,” you quip.

Jonathan laughs. “God, I think I had about five heart attacks during those conversations.”

The tension leaves the car. Then, slowly, the warmth creeps back in as you and Jonathan once again start laughing. You’re not sure why you’re even laughing, but you’re happy that you are.

–

Jonathan walks you to your locker, as he always does, and before he turns to head to his, you notice how quiet it is in the hallway. You look over at Nancy’s locker, which somehow always manages to be near yours every year, and frown when you don’t see her.

“There’s a suspicious lack of Nancy and Steve making out against her locker this morning.” You tell Jonathan.

He looks around and notices you’re right. The two of you share a concerned glance, knowing that their absence can’t mean anything good for the couple.

“Should we go look for them?” He asks, but you’re already heading towards the parking lot to find Steve. “Y/N!”

“Go find Nancy!” You call behind you, speeding up. “I’ll meet you at first period!”

Steve’s car is hard to miss in the parking lot. Hawkins isn’t necessarily a flashy town. No one else besides the Harringtons owns a fancy BMW. You approach the car and spot Steve sitting in the front, his head ducked down as if no one can see his massive red car and easily identify him.

Idiot.

Steve is having a rough week, so he’s spent the last five minutes in his car debating on whether or not he can afford to skip his first class. Reasonably speaking, his dad would kill him. He already has shit grades and he’s missed three college application deadlines. All he has left is Tech. However, his girlfriend told him last night she doesn’t love him and Billy embarrassed him in front of everyone last night.

Plus Nancy left with Jonathan, which everyone saw.

He told him to take her, but still.

Pretty embarrassing.

Yup. Alright. He’s going home.

Steve reaches over for his keys to turn the car on, but before he can, a knock on his window stops him. He looks up, scared Billy will be there, but instead he sees you and he’s not sure if his day just got better or worse.

“Let me in, dingus.” Your voice is light, but still stern, and yeah. Steve’s day just got better.

He unlocks the door and you silently get into the passenger seat. As you get settled in, he thinks about the first time he ever had you in his car. It feels like a lifetime ago, Steve’s heart had been beating wildly taking the risk of offering you a ride.

It had been the start of something, he could feel it.

But then you left him that summer without another word, as if nothing had happened between the two of you. As if Steve hadn’t slowly come to find himself opening up to someone, trusting that you’d let him be whoever he wanted; he could just be Steve around you, not King Steve or even perfect boyfriend Steve.

Now Steve’s hiding out in his car, no longer King Steve or even good fucking boyfriend Steve, and instead of his girlfriend seeking him out to comfort him, it’s you. Because of course it’s you.

“Hey,” you say.

“Hi.”

“You know that senior study hall is inside the school, right?”

Steve looks over at you, not necessarily amused, but flattered nonetheless. “You know my class schedule?”

A blush spreads across your face as you look away from him, but Steve still sees it and something flutters in his chest. He’s always thought you were pretty when you blushed, but you’re even prettier when he’s the reason why.

“I pay attention,” you dodge.

Steve wants to tease you some more, play into the banter he missed the most when the two of you weren’t talking, but his heart isn’t in it. Nancy’s words kept him up all night. Every time he closed his eyes, all he could hear was her telling him that she didn’t love him. After he did everything he possibly could’ve done right, it still hadn’t been enough.

“Did Nancy get home okay?”

You give him a small smile. “Yeah, I just talked to Jonathan about it.”

Relief floods through Steve. At least that’s one thing he hadn’t fucked up last night. “Good… I’m glad then.”

He awkwardly clears his throat and looks away again. He doesn’t know what he’s doing anymore. He feels lost, floating through his morning. Nothing has felt real since yesterday in the library with Nancy, when she had been looking up at him with those eyes he’s always been weak for.

“Any particular reason you’re hiding out in your car?”

Steve lets out a bitter laugh. “You were there last night. You know what happened.”

“Actually, I don’t.” You see the disbelief on Steve’s face and quickly correct yourself. “I mean, I remember you saying something about Nancy but… I don’t want to assume, so…”

Now you’re the one looking away in shame, and Steve watches as you nervously fiddle with your fingers and bite your lip. You’re trying. Though Steve still isn’t sure how to feel about you, how much to test this new compromise between you two, this “friendship”, Steve knows he has to at least try as well.

He takes a deep breath. “Nancy… She isn’t in love with me.”

A beat of silence passes.

“Steve, I mean, are you sure–”

“Pretty fucking sure, Y/N. Unless you think someone telling their boyfriend ‘like we’re in love’ means she’s madly in love with him.”

Another beat of silence passes. Steve can see the pity in your eyes, and he hates it. He fucking hates this, feeling so pathetic and small.

Then, your hand slowly intertwines with his and the anger in Steve’s chest lessens a bit. “I know my words don’t mean anything, but… Nancy not being in love with you has nothing to do with you as a person.”

Something untangles in Steve’s chest; you’ve reassured him of something he hadn’t even known had been his fear. How do you always seem to decipher what he’s feeling before he can?

“How do you know?” Steve has never felt so small before.

You shrug, but there’s a calculated nonchalance to it that he can easily see. “Because I know you. You’re frustratingly charming, Harrington.”

Steve laughs, something he didn’t even know he was able to do anymore. “That’s your takeaway here?”

“Mhm,” you squeeze his hand and Steve has never felt this grounded before by such a small action. “I say you need to talk to Nancy, I mean really talk to her. No more half truths and appeasements. I think she does love you, in her own way, but the circumstances aren’t on your guys’ side. I mean, she went through hell and back last year, Barb’s death anniversary is soon.”

You pause for a moment and frown, which Steve has come to learn means you’re carefully choosing which words to say next. “I want you to know, no, I need you to know, that this has nothing to do with you. Okay?”

Steve wants to believe you, god he really wants to, but even he can see the blaring irony of you telling him that Nancy’s lack of love for him has nothing to do with him personally. You, the girl he came to trust more than anyone else in this awful town, ditched him in the same manner. Steve’s the common denominator there. He’s always the one left behind.

“Look, I appreciate what you’re saying, but the words don’t mean a whole lot coming from you right now,” Steve tells you, and he hates the way your eyes darken, as if guarding yourself from him. “I know we agreed on being friends again, but I just… I need some time.”

You nod, as if you expected something like that from Steve, and he almost wants to just drive away with you in the car and pretend that nothing else exists. Instead, he clears his throat, his tongue feels heavy and his throat threatens to close up, but he forces himself to get the words out. “I want to be alone, please.”

He really doesn’t want to be alone, but his brain is swimming in confusion and you’re still holding his hand and Steve just needs a moment to himself to just breathe.

“Of course,” you tell him, because of course you listen and understand. “You know where to find me, yeah?”

Steve nods. He does.

“Bye, Y/N.”

You give him a small wave in response, close the car door, and then make your way back to the high school.

Steve watches you fade into the distance.

He’s alone again.

–

Jonathan makes it to first period with only seconds to spare. He throws himself into his seat next to you with panting breaths. Your history teacher, Mrs. Kent, drones through attendance without having noticed anything.

“I couldn’t find Nancy.” Jonathan whispers, before his name is called and he quickly raises his hand and says, “Here.”

You glance at the chalkboard and then flip your textbook to the page scrawled on it. “I found Steve wallowing in his car, alone. Guess he didn’t drive Nancy to school?”

“Seems a bit harsh.”

“May I remind you of the time you threw a jacket at my face and then screamed at me that we aren’t family? All because you felt guilty about taking naked photos of Nancy?”

Jonathan drops his head onto the desk, letting out a groan. “I’m never living that down, am I?”

You keep your eyes on the board, taking a few notes. “Nope.”

Class starts up now, so the topic is left alone. The school day passes on, you and Jonathan separating for your own classes after history is done. The day drags on for a while, though you hear a few whispers in the hall about how Jonathan had taken home a drunk Nancy.

“God, it’s like she loves the attention.” One girl giggles with her friend while you’re at your locker.

Her friend rolls her eyes. “Please, as if anyone would choose Byers over Steve Harrington.”

“I’m more of a Wheeler fan myself,” you tell the girls, not even sparing them a glance. “Now, why don’t we all just shut up and move away from my locker?”

The girls scurry away, fear in their eyes, and you simply shake your head at them. Why is Nancy always the one those girls gossip about? Objectively speaking, Steve has done much more heinous things than getting a ride home from a friend while drunk.

Jonathan kisses your cheek as he walks up from behind you, breaking you from your thoughts. “Hey, bug. Lunch at my car today?”

“Ugh, it’s such a nice day today, I’d love to.” You grab your lunch from your locker. Once you have it, you link your arm through Jonathan’s. “Guide the way, good sir.”

“Yes ma’am.”

–

Nancy is leaning against Jonathan’s car when you walk outside.

Her shoulders are slouched and you can see the unease on her face. She looks tired, too. A few people walk by her and stare, whispering as they go, and you really hate high schoolers sometimes.

When you make it to Jonathan’s car, Nancy holds her lunch bag up awkwardly. “Can I join you guys?”

“I’m sure we can make some room.” You tell her, which she smiles at.

It takes some adjusting, but eventually the three of you manage to fit on the front of the car. You sit on the roof, your legs dangling off of the side, while Nancy and Jonathan take the front. The early November sun beats down on you three, but the cool breeze makes the sting less painful. It’s a lovely day, all things considered.

You’re nibbling on your sandwich when Nancy exhales deeply and turns to you. “Y/N, you’d always tell me the truth, right?”

“Depends,” you take another bite out of your food. “What is this in reference to?”

“Last night… I don’t remember what I did.”

There’s a certain shame in her eyes that tells you she encountered Steve before retreating to Jonathan’s car. “You spoke to Steve this morning, I take it?”

She looks at you, surprised. “How did you–”

“We talked to him last night.” Jonathan cuts her off, looking between you and Nancy nervously. He’s not sure where you, her, and Steve all fall in regards to each other.

“So, he asked you to take me home?” Nancy faces him now, and you go back to eating.

“Yeah. Yeah, I mean he was upset…” He glances at you briefly before looking back at Nancy. “I mean, he was really upset.”

“I don’t blame him.” You cut in, mouth full of chips you stole from Jonathan.

He sends you glare and keeps talking. “But he was still worried about you, Nance.”

Nancy drops her head down and a part of you feels bad for the quip. She really does look ashamed, but you distinctly remember warning her about this exact thing last year in the school’s shed. She had tried telling you there wasn’t anything between her and Jonathan, and all you could tell her was that Steve didn’t deserve to be lied to or cheated on.

Guess she only kept one end of that bargain.

Jonathan sees that she’s upset and he softens his voice, scooting closer to her. “Hey, you need to cut yourself some slack, okay? People say stupid things when they’re wasted. Things they don’t mean.”

You bite your tongue. Hard. If you allow yourself to speak, you won’t be able to guarantee it’ll be anything nice. Sure, being drunk can influence some words to slip out, but cruelly telling your boyfriend of over a year that you don’t love him is something you can’t defend. Not when Nancy had other chances to tell Steve.

Nancy whips her head up. “Yeah, but that’s the thing. What if I did mean it? All this time, I’ve been trying so hard to pretend like everything’s fine, but it’s not.”

You and Jonathan share a look. He seems more curious, you can feel the anger burning through your eyes.

“No offense, Nance.” You wipe your hands on a napkin and force the girl to look at you. “But this is really something that you should be talking to Steve about. Remember our conversation from last year?”

Nancy looks down again in shame. “You’re right, I know you are, but… I don’t know. I feel like there’s this…” She pauses, trying to figure out how to explain her thoughts, but Jonathan finishes for her.

“Like there’s this weight you’re carrying around with you. All the time. I feel it, too.” He says, then he flicks your leg. “Y/N does as well. She tries to hide it, but I know she feels it as much as I do.”

Now it’s you who turns away, embarrassed and ashamed. Clearly you haven’t been so good at hiding your never ending guilt over Will.

“Yeah, but it’s different for you guys. Will came home.” Nancy says.

You open your mouth to speak, to correct the girl’s horrible viewpoint, but Jonathan surprises you by correcting her himself. “Yeah, he did. But he’s not the same. I try to be there for him, you know, to help him, but… I don’t know.”

“Dustin still has nightmares.” You admit, which Jonathan hadn’t known.

“I thought those went away, bug.”

You shake your head at him. “No… If anything, they’ve only gotten worse. Some nights he sleeps in my bed, says I calm him down, but I just… I feel horrible, knowing I left them alone that night at the middle school. The things he saw… god.”

Nancy and Jonathan sigh, understanding how painful the weight of guilt can feel.

A silence follows your confession.

Then, because you hate when there’s silence, you try to go back to the previous topic. “Anyways, Nancy, what we’re trying to say is that we understand. And I’m sure Steve will, too. He was also there that night, at Jonathan’s. You should talk to him, explain the weight within you. Steve, he…”

You find yourself pausing, unsure if what you’re about to tell Nancy is something Steve would want you to keep between you two, but he misses her. He loves her, so you try to fix whatever you can between them. “He thinks he did something wrong, that he’s unlovable. It isn’t fair to make someone feel that way.”

Nancy sighs. “I didn’t know that.”

“I know, but now that you do, you should probably do something about it. You guys can still go back to how things were.”

Jonathan frowns. “What if things can’t go back to the way they were? I mean, Will still thinks he’s in the Upside Down sometimes. I’ve seen the way Dustin gets scared when he hears a loud noise.”

A phantom pain shoots through your ankle. It’s long since healed, but sometimes memories from last year still sting. As you’re absentmindedly rubbing at it, Nancy notices and starts to get upset.

“Doesn’t that make you mad?”

“Mad?” You and Jonathan ask at the same time.

Nancy seems to almost come back to life, her anger now bringing energy back into her. “Yeah, that those… Those people who did this, who ruined so many lives, they just get away with it.”

“The people responsible for this, they’re dead.” Jonathan gently reminds her.

Nancy leans in close, bitterness in her voice as she narrows her eyes. “Do you really believe that?”

Jonathan frowns again and you do the same. If you’re being honest, you were also pretty skeptical about the whole evil scientists at Hawkins Lab all dying. Seemed like a pretty convenient thing to happen. But what else are you supposed to believe?

Nancy looks between you and Jonathan and sighs again. You know she’s upset by your unwillingness to look further, to question everything, but then you watch as her eyes drift towards some kid with his headphones and his walkman. Something shifts in her gaze and you know immediately that she’s thought of something.

You scoot closer in a hurry. “Nancy, whatever it is–”

“Your mom’s boyfriend,” she looks over at Jonathan. “He works at RadioShack, right?”

“Yeah… Why?” Jonathan looks over at you as if you have any possible explanation, and you just shrug at him. “What are you thinking?”

“Do you wanna skip fourth period?”

Immediately you hop down from the car. “No. Nope. Not happening. We aren’t doing this again.”

Nancy groans at you. “Y/N, I haven’t even explained my plan to you yet.”

“Okay, go on. Explain it, so I can then say no.”

Nancy does as she’s told, and it’s a fucking brilliant plan. You know it’ll work, and that’s why you can’t do it. Buying a tape recorder, planting a fake meetup with Barb’s mom to con the Hawkins Lab people into taking them in, and then recording whatever they confess to take it to the detective Barb’s parents hired.

It’s a genius plan, but you can’t leave the kids behind for that long.

“I can’t go.”

Jonathan looks disappointed. “Bug, don’t you want to make those assholes pay?”

“I do,” you reassure him. “But I can’t afford to leave the kids behind for two whole days. I mean, last time I did they opened a portal to another dimension. And Dustin has been acting weird lately, and Will’s been having those episodes more and more and I just… What if it’s happening again?”

Your voice shakes a bit with fear, and Jonathan pulls you into him. “We don’t know that.”

“But what if it is? Who would be there for them? We can’t just leave them to suffer the consequences alone while we’re trying to avenge them.”

While you’re still wrapped in Jonathan’s arms, Nancy rests her own hand against your shoulder. “I would feel better knowing the kids are in good hands. You’ve always been their biggest advocate.”

You thank the girl, but Jonathan still seems unsure about leaving you behind. “What about you? Who’s gonna be there for you if something happens?”

There, hidden underneath his words, you know he’s really asking how can I protect you if you aren’t within arm’s reach?

You bury your face into his chest, and Nancy seems to get the message and looks away. When you have some privacy, you look up at Jonathan. “I’ll be okay, bee. I promise. We can call every day you’re away, nothing will go uncommunicated this time. No secrets. You’ll be home in no time and I’ll be right here, safe and sound.”

He kisses your head. “Promise me you’ll be safe.”

“I should be telling you that.”

“Y/N…” he isn’t laughing, and you can hear how fast his heart is pounding. He’s terrified to leave you behind, but you know that this is what you have to do.

“I love you, and I’ll be right here. Come home to me, alright?”

“I will.” He promises, and you look into his eyes and see all the warmth and sincerity that you’ve come to love so much, and you believe him.

After a few moments, you finally pull away from him. You clear your throat and turn towards Nancy. “Okay, now that we’ve got that settled, I’m assuming I’m covering for y’all?”

She nods. “If you wouldn’t mind, can I tell my mom I’m at your place?”

“Duh, and Jonathan,” you flick his forehead, breaking the remaining tension away. “I’ll tell your mom you’ll be at my place as well. Sound good?”

He nods as well, though his eyes linger on you longer than they should.

“Well!” You clap your hands and stand between Nancy and Jonathan. “Great team meeting, gang. Let’s reconvene in two day’s time.”

Nancy laughs and pulls you into her own hug.

“I’ll keep him safe,” she whispers into your ear, and you exhale shakily. The weight of everything has finally settled in. You can’t believe you’re doing this. A part of you feels like you’ve just solidified something horrible, not agreeing to come along, but the other part of you, maybe even the larger part, is secretly relieved.

You’re not sure what to make of it.

“Thank you.” You whisper back, squeezing her tightly.

When you break apart, you pull Jonathan into yet another hug. “Stay safe, bee.”

“I will.”

“Good,” you pull away and give the two teens a thumbs up. “Break a leg, go expose some weird government agency!”

–

True to your word, you cover for Jonathan and Nancy the rest of the day. Teachers ask where they are and you simply tell them they both had a family emergency. Thankfully, due to living in such a small and rundown town, they don’t question it.

After school, you head over across the street to the middle school to go pick up Will and Dustin. Since Jonathan drove you to school and took his car with Nancy, you’ll have to hitch a ride on your brother’s bike pegs to work.

When you reach the school you walk towards the bike rack, expecting to see the boys all standing there about to leave, but you stop when you realize that they aren’t.

Huh. Odd.

You wander around. It’s been years since you’ve been inside the middle school, and the hallways are filled with memories. You walk towards the AV room, figuring they’re probably there to discuss whatever new project they’re working on. As you round the corner, you hear pounding and a girl’s voice demanding to be let in.

Speeding up, you spot Max with her angry fists. “Guys! What’s going on? C’mon!”

You watch for a moment, curious as to who this girl is. Dustin spoke highly of her, yet her brother is the worst person you’ve met in your life. She has an anger in her, that much is obvious, but then she grabs something from her bag and begins to pick at the lock.

Hm, she’s smart.

“Need some help?” You ask her.

She looks up at you and frowns. “And who are you?”

“Y/N Henderson. Unfortunately, the idiot that I’m assuming is locked inside the room is my brother.”

“You know how to pick a lock?” Max asks, eyeing you up and down.

Shrugging, you say, “can’t be too hard.”

Max seems to accept that as an answer and slides over, making room for you to crouch down next to her. You help her jimmy the paperclip into the door. Then, you hear some muffled yelling from the other side. What the fuck has your brother gotten up to this time?

“I’m gonna put a leash on that kid,” you mumble, and Max laughs.

“Do they do this a lot?”

You blow a piece of hair out of your face. “Yeah. They’re weird, honestly–”

The lock clicks, the door flings open, and suddenly a tiny, slimy creature comes scampering out the room. You hear the boys curse and before you can get up and out of their way, they come crashing into you and Max on the ground.

“Shit!” Dustin knees your forearm and you groan.

“Y/N!” His eyes widen when he sees you. He’s been caught.

Max gets up. “What was that?”

Lucas ignores her. “He’s getting away!”

“Who is getting away?” You’re finally up as well, watching as the boys start to scramble around in a panic.

Mike, seemingly unsurprised by your sudden appearance, turns to you. “Dart!” Then, in annoyance, he turns towards Max. “You let him escape!”

“What the fuck is a Dart?” You’re freaking out now. Lucas, hearing your confusion, can only shrug his shoulders at you.

Then, Dustin angrily advances towards Mike and starts yelling in his face. “Why did you attack him?”

Mike doesn’t say a word, he just starts to run down the hall. Dustin, even more in a panic, screams at him, “Don’t hurt him! Don’t you hurt him!”

You grab at your brother’s jacket and fling him back, now incredibly fucking angry. “Dustin Henderson, you have three seconds to explain what the fuck is happening.”

Lucas, Max, and Will stand back, frightened by your anger. Dustin, the only one who ever seems to face this anger, gulps. “I can explain.”

“Start. Talking.”

And he does. He explains how he had found Dart last night, thinking it had been some new lizard breed previously undiscovered. That’s why he hadn’t let you into his room. Then, to prove he was some scientific prodigy and, which he doesn’t tell you but you suspect, to impress Max.

“I was about to show Mr. Clark before Mike came in and took Dart. According to Will…” Dustin looks over at Max, lowers his voice, and whispers to you, “he’s from the Upside Down.”

And there it is.

There, the dread that has been creeping up on you ever since you saved Will, comes crawling up. You knew this would happen eventually. It’s happening again. You were right.

God, it’s happening again.

Thank fuck you stayed behind with the kids.

You want to throw up, crawl into a ball and pretend nothing else exists anymore, but Dustin is looking at you with fear in his eyes and you know you have to be strong for him. For all the kids, now. “Okay, let’s split up and find Dart.”

Dustin nods and sends Will southbound, Lucas westbound, and Max towards the gymnasium. You go with him, both because he’s your brother and because you have a few choice words you’d like to say to him. Everyone takes a walkie and splits up.

Mike is already long gone, which you’re not surprised by.

After everyone leaves, you snap at Dustin. “Thanks so much for telling me about Dart, by the way.”

“Y/N…”

“What exactly did you think you’d do with that thing hidden in our house?”

“Continue to hide it from you–ow!” Dustin rubs the back of his head.

You continue to walk. “You deserved that.”

“I did.”

You laugh, but then you feel a sense of static behind you. You turn around, but there’s no one there. But the static had felt like the same electricity that had accompanied El’s powers last year, but… No. She’s gone. You know she is.

Brushing it off as paranoia, you continue to keep an eye out for Dart. “So, what does Max think about all this?”

“Mike won’t let us tell her.” Dustin says, annoyance in his voice.

This doesn’t shock you. “I get why. I mean, we all almost died last year.”

“Yeah, but she’s different. She’s cool, I think she could be good for the party.”

Dustin seems so eager, and you feel bad for denying the boy. “She’s too young. You’re all too young for this. We can’t rope her any further into the Upside Down. It wouldn’t be fair to her.”

Your brother sighs. “I mean, I guess… but–”

Will’s voice suddenly comes through the walkie. “Guys, I found him.”

“Where?” Dustin fumbles with the walkie, almost dropping it in his frantic rush to answer.

“In the bathroom by Mr. Salerno’s.”

“Copy that.” Mike says.

You look over at Dustin. “Race you to the bathroom?”

“You’re on.”

The two of you start to run, and at first you’re winning. But then you forget that you haven’t been in the school for at least three years now and you take a wrong turn, misremembering where Mr. Salerno’s room is. “Shit!”

You backtrack, but Dustin is long gone now.

By the time you get your bearings back, Lucas, Mike, and Max have all run down the hallway towards the bathroom. You join them as you all run inside. Dustin is standing in the middle of the bathroom, which you find strange.

Mike looks around. “Where’s Dart?”

“I don’t know. Not here.” You eye your brother, but he averts your gaze.

“Will said he was here.” You remind him, but Dustin doesn’t respond.

Mike curses and starts checking all the stalls.

“Maybe Will has him?” Dustin says, but you keep an eye on him. Something isn’t right.

You’re about to call Dustin’s bluff, accuse him of lying, when Mike suddenly freezes. He looks around, then turns to you. “Where’s Will?”

You turn around and finally notice that yeah, Will isn’t here. But he had just radioed from the bathroom.

“I… I don’t know.” Fear settles in you now, and you have an awful feeling that something bad is about to happen. After his episode from the night before…

You run out the bathroom, the first to start looking for Will.

-

⌑ series masterlist

⌑ if youd like to buy me a coffee ☕︎

⌑ thank you for reading ! feel free to like, comment, reblog, or send in an ask so we can chat <3

[anim-ttrpgs]

The Eureka: Investigative Urban Fantasy October 17th Beta update has launched today on itch.io for free!

Happy Halloween! We pulled out all the stops just to get the update out in time for you to prep and play it for your group’s Halloween game! The free adventure module that comes with it, “Horror Harry’s Haunted House”, takes place on Halloween after all! In it, your investigators will solve a “murder mystery” in a charmingly spooky haunted house escape room. It serves as a sort of investigation and survival training ground for you and your PCs to learn the ropes before jumping into more Call-of-Cthulhu-esque adventures where death is around every corner. (You can even get two more adventure modules over on our patreon)

Download the new rulebook here on itch.io! Even if you download it for free, just checking it out, talking about it, reblogging this post, etc. helps us out immensely. We are a diverse, largely queer team setting out to slay a dragon, we’ve already been working on this for four years, and we need all the community support we can get!

If you’re wondering what Eureka even is, watch this trailer, or read this post if you don't wanna watch a video.

If you’ve ever tried to run a murder mystery in D&D, what you really needed was Eureka.

If you’re coming from the August beta release, which I assume you are, lemme tell you that a lot has been improved. I’ll go over some of the highlights, and post the full changelog under the cut. It’s still free, but if you could throw a bit of money out way on the itchio page, even if you’ve paid before, that would be a massive, massive help. We’re actually a bit over budget even with the relative success of the Kickstarter, plus for one of us this is their primary source of income.

Trait Overhaul

There’s a few new Traits, and nearly every single existing Trait has been redone to make them better and/or more interesting. Each Trait will now have an even more significant effect on your gameplay experience.

Combat Overhaul + World's Best Grappling Rules

Combat in Eureka is now better than ever, and it was already really good - plus, now you can actually comprehend the dang rules! The previous combat rules, I admit, were a dense and confusing slog to read through, even if they worked really well once you understood them. Now, thanks to our editor, you can understand them! Instead of being split across four chapters, it’s now just two chapters. One chapter explains weapons and is mostly just for stat reference, and the other chapter is focused on telling you everything your character can do during “dangerous situations,” which are not just combat, but really just any kind of scenario where a character can get hurt. As a special highlight to the combat overhaul, Eureka now boasts the first ever set of grappling rules that are viable, realistic, and fun to employ at the table! I’m serious when I say I have never seen them done like this before, and think they offer an actual leap forward in something that TTRPGs have struggled with since early editions of D&D! I also put a lot of my own judo and other martial arts experience to work here.

Monster Overhaul

A lot of what I said about the pre-overhaul combat sections of the rulebooks were also true of the monster PC rules. They were dense, hard to reference, and disorganized. Well not anymore! All six playable monsters in Eureka have been completely rewritten using the skills I have gained as a game designer since first writing them, and, like the regular Traits, they have all been at the very least tweaked to be more interesting and have a greater effect on gameplay, and some have been changed entirely with all new subsystems! Witches brew potions now, fairies actually have stuff to do with the names they collect, and more! Plus, speaking of Traits, every monster can have more regular Traits now, to really help flesh out their personality!

CHANGE LOG 

Copy-editing Progress: Thoroughly copy-edited up to p. 302. Half-ass copy-edited up to p. 322.

WHOLE BOOK

Stuck most of the $42+ kickstarter backer submission info into the very back of the book just to get it out of our email inbox and to allow the whole team to be able to more easily see it and work with it. Going to be doing more to integrate this stuff into the actual rulebook soon. 

Changed the headings to hopefully be more legible. Please give us feedback on what you think of this change.

CHAPTER 1

Changed the limitations on how Comfort is used to restore investigator Composure. 

Fixed a typo in the investigation example of play. 

Made it so that Composure rolls for fears in the “Ridiculous” category don’t even always need to be rolled when these things are encountered. 

Moved Character Health and Status, Grievous Wounds, Healing, and Healing Example sections to Chapter 1. 

Changed Partial Incapacitation to give -2 modifiers instead of -1. 

Overhauled the rules for injuries, incapacitation, and grievous wounds completely. A ton of it is changed. 

Added codified rules for medical facilities and what to do in the case of investigator death. 

Added “The Creeps” optional rule. 

Tweak to When is the Party “Split” section regarding how long to go before jumping between groups.

Lots of new art has been added.

Tweaks to Be Prepared to Lose section.

—---------------------------------------------------

Additions to the What is Eureka For section

Changed comforting factors and exacerbating factors for Composure rolls to be +/-2 instead of +/-1 so they make a real difference.

New snoop

Changed the font of the section headings in the Ticking Clock section. Let us know what you think of these headings compared to the other headings, because we are considering changing all the headings to be like this.  

Better clarified some stuff about how Ticks work when an adventure starts at some random time of day.

—-------------------------------------

More art has been added

Made travel take more time and matter more

CHAPTER 2

Changed the CQC skill to Close Combat, as this is more clear and obvious what that means at a glance

Made lots of copy-editing progress. Many paragraphs are shorter and convey the rules more clearly. 

Changed the way the Burnout Trait works. It now causes the investigator to lose flat Composure each day rather than affecting their Composure rolls. 

Changed the Death Wish Trait to not suck.

Changed the Elementary! Trait to use Visual Calculus instead of Social Cues.

Changed Go With Your Gut Trait to not suck. 

Added that wallets and like basic clothing and stuff have a WP cost of 0

Added glasses to item list

Added rope to item list

Added hand warmers to item list

Changed Arithmomania trait to where it only gives a +1 base bonus to Paperwork, and the bonus for having a lower Ignorance of Quantity Tiers of Fear rating is more investigation points. 

Changed Femme Fatale to add a +1 Seduce bonus instead of +2. 

Totally redid the Hardy Trait. 

Added -1 modifier to I’m Okay You’re Okay Trait

Redid the Just Built Different Trait. Now it allows a character “no sell” an incoming Superficial Damage attack once per Scene, reducing the damage to 0, among a few other things. 

Added Renaissance Man Trait. 

Removed Love Me Trait. Might try to reword it another time, but it was too similar to too many other traits and wasn't very interesting. 

Completely reworked Lover Trait. 

Many new snoops have been added.

Changed the Mad Genius trait to be called Lovecraft Protagonist and changed what it does. 

Removed the investigation point cap on Man of Action Trait. Also changed the name to Ask Questions Later. 

Changed My Glasses Trait to only provide bonuses to Knowledge Skill Investigative Rolls. 

Changed Nightstalker Trait so that it provides a bonus to all Interpersonal Rolls while trespassing 

Changed None of My Business Trait to suck less.

Changed Not Finished Yet Trait to suck less.

Changed Showboater Trait to suck less.

Changed Skeptic Trait to suck less.

Smalls is now a real Trait instead of just a joke Trait. 

Removed the +1 Bonus from the Unpredictable Trait.

Changed Wicked Trait to not suck. 

Changed Wizened Trait to suck less. 

Woo-Woo Trait no-longer based on Blacked Out Skill. 

Moved “Deadly Combat, Permanent Consequences” here and changed the title to “Disabilities are Disabling”

Changed Basic Physical Therapy on the Wealth Point Item List from 3WP to 2WP. 

Added new section “People Change”

Made Blissfully Ignorant trait immune to “The Creeps.”

Made the Technically… Trait have a +2 bonus instead of +1.

Updated the Hard Boiled Trait to work with the new way that injuries and incapacitation works.

Moved the Hardened Hearts snoop to be the Wicked snoop instead. 

Changed “Empath” Trait to be “Empathetic” instead. 

Made “Did You Know…” a better and more usable Trait

Made Hard Under Pressure a better and more usable Trait.

Changed how the WP cost of an item affects the modifier for rolling for it in-adventure. The modifier is now half the WP cost rounded down. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

Gave a proper name to the Wealth modifier attached to certain homes and vehicles, it is now called the Property Modifier(PM).

Lowered the price of firearm ammunition by 1WP

Lowered the price of desktop computers by 1WP

Lowered the price of cameras by 1WP

Combined various hand tools into one entry on the item lists and moved them to Misc.

Made hotels something that is prepaid in WP similar to food budget. 

Made Large Apartment less expensive and Tiny Apartment more expensive

Moved Baseball Bat and Axe out of Weapons and into Misc. 

Changed how Food Budget works.

Removed Net Skill Limit mechanic entirely

Edit to the duration of the bonuses for Femme Fatale

Changed Ninja Trait to a +2 bonus instead of +1

—----------------------------------------------------------

Made “Sleep On It” Trait give 1D6-1 investigation points, and still give Composure.

Added “Real Capybara Hours.” Sometimes jokes are just for us.

Added animals to item lists

CHAPTER 3

Moved the section “Deadly Combat, Permanent Consequences” into chapter 2. 

More art has been added.

Moved Character Health and Status, Grievous Wounds, Healing, and Healing Example sections to Chapter 1. 

—------------------------------------------------

Changed the name of Chapter 3 to “Dangerous Situations.” We are planning to put all the combat and other dangerous stuff into one chapter called “Dangerous Situations” and merge combat, chases, etc. into one thing rather than splitting it up and having it in a bunch of different chapters.

Made it so that the Speed mechanic works with Theater of the Mind as well, and removed that other awkward mechanic with rolling Athletics for how many turns it takes for a character to cross a large distance. 

Complete restructure of the way the mechanics for movement and action are explained, as well as defining things as both Movements and Actions. 

Created a Chapter 2.5. In the future when we are ready to shift the chapter numbers, Chapter 2.5 will become the new Chapter 3 and the current Chapter 3 will become Chapter 4. Chapter 2.5 currently houses the statistics of weapons and other combat items. The plan is that a first-time reader will read the weapon statistics in Chapter 2.5 before they read the combat rules in Chapter 3, which will inform the way they understand Chapter 3. 

Changed damage value and special attributes of pepper spray. 

Made brass knuckles do 1 penetrative damage. 

Made stun guns do 2 superficial damage.

Made it so that bulletproof vests do protect against 1-damage weapons. 

Moved and rearranged like everything from chapters 3-6. 

Close range bonus for guns is now +2 instead of +1

Simplified Stopping Power rules (the actual way it works has not changed, we just rewrote it so that it gives the same mechanics in like a tenth of the word count)

Separated open-faced helmets and full-face helmets, and made it so that wearing a helmet along with body armor gives a -1 penalty to incoming attack rolls. 

“Single Load” is now called “Internal Magazines”

Shotguns at extremely close range now have similar stopping power to a rifle, but at 5-10 yards they still have their double stopping power. 

Changed how Rate of Fire works for guns. Just making it a number instead of distinct actions. 

Made it so that Quick Cycling affects basically all guns except automatics, meaning characters with high Firearms skill can now fire semi-automatic pistols at 3 bullets per Action.

Streamlined Stabilization. It is no-longer a roll and instead a penalty that worsens the more bullets are being fired at once. 

Made Bipods give +2 Contextual bonus instead of +1 to single stationary targets.

Changed Reactions and made them more broadly applicable and usable as a rule.

—--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Overhauled Grabs, Throws, Holds, and Escapes to make them a viable option in a lot more scenarios.

Defined “On the Ground” and made it its own section.

Made knock out blows and throws ignore Armor. Knock-out blows are still somewhat penalized by helmets.

Added A Real John Woo Film Optional Rule

More art has been added

Hastily updated the random chase obstacle tables for the new Movement/Action system.

Updated the example obstacles to be more in line with how we designed obstacles for the obstacle tables. 

Redid how Poison works. We meant to make it less convoluted but accidentally made it more granular instead. We did write it better so it will at least feel less convoluted. 

CHAPTER 4

Merged this chapter with chapter 3

CHAPTER 5

merged this chapter with chapter 3

CHAPTER 6

merged this chapter with chapter 3

CHAPTER 7

Added “Psychological Warfare” mechanic. 

—--------------------------------------------------

CHAPTER 8

The Blacked Out Skill has been changed in two major ways. First we made it more obvious that the Blacked Out Skill applies even to knowledge of the supernatural that is not necessarily true. And also rather than working the way that every other Knowledge skill works, the Blacked Out Skill now gives leads to where answers might be found rather than immediate concrete answers. 

THE GORGON IS FINISHED AND FULLY PLAYABLE!

Added that Alt. Witches have to make their supernatural ability composure rolls at +0 instead of +3. The +3 was a typo.

Started work on the complete monster overhaul.

Vampires have been completely rewritten. Most of their abilities and themes are the same, but the way the abilities work has been overhauled and improved in many cases, as well as now being formatted and structured in a sane and easily-referenceable way. 

More art has been added. 

Changed the +2 Contextual Close Combat bonus for the Werewolf Trait to a +1 Base Bonus

Wolfmen have been completely rewritten. Most of their abilities and themes are the same, but the way the abilities work has been overhauled and improved in many cases, as well as now being formatted and structured in a sane and easily-referenceable way. 

Fairytale Witch is currently being rewritten/overhauled. 

Changed Incredible Strength Mage Trait to have a +2 Close Combat bonus instead of +3.

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Clarified that gorgon blood does not heal gorgons.

Changed the way that monsters interact with Composure and their Tiers of Fear during the act of preying on other people. Instead of just ignoring it or having a bonus (i somehow left both of those conflicting rules in and no one told me), a relevant Composure roll is still made when a monster eats someone, but they do not lose Composure points from it even in the event of Partial Success or Failure. This keeps the narrative benefit of a Composure roll to show the monster’s emotional state, but without making hunting numerically pointless.

Finished the complete fairytale witch overhaul. 

Made the Close Combat bonus for superhuman strength be just +1 for the vast majority of instances. The only exception is wolfman forms. They get a higher Close Combat bonus because their transformations actually make them bigger and taller and this helps a lot in Close Combat.

Reduced Athletics bonus of Incredible Strength trait to +2. 

Merged the Alt. Witch with Mage, and made Mage a Misc. supernatural category instead of its own separate thing. This is going to be a really messy transition for chapter 8 so please bear with us. I am making a brief run though the chapter to clean up the biggest discrepancies this change creates, but I probably won’t get them all until the editor and I have time to actually go through and copy-edit it. 

“Mage” is now its own trait, and what were previously called “mage traits” are now called “mage powers”. Mages now have between 1 and 6 mage powers as part of their mage trait, with worse composure rolls the more powers they have. 

When they engage in their True Nature, monsters now have a chance to recoup some or all of the Composure they lost as a result of using their powers to hunt prey. 

—-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

Fully overhauled the fairy rules. Just one more monster to overhaul! Woo! 

Changed the Curse of Slumber to take effect the next time the victim falls asleep rather than knocking them out spontaneously.

Overhauled the changeling rules to go along with the overhauled fairy rules. 

Clarified something about the vampire’s In Lizard Fashion ability, they wouldnt be able to use this to stop a speeding truck.

Removed the hard limit on how many people a wolfman could eat at once, and also added rules for what happens if they shift to a smaller form with people in their stomach. Made similar tweaks for vampires. 

More art has been added 

Fully overhauled the Thing from Beyond, and that completes the full monster overhaul. All Monsters now consist of a single Trait, rather than needing a pair of Traits. 

Gave vampires’ “wearing the evening” ability a maximum distance of 50 yards and also it is a Movement now 

Made a few more adjustments to some of the monster sections to bring them up to date with the new Movement/Action mechanics. 

Adjusted all instances of poison in the monster sections to account for the new poison rules.

[thefiendio]

Romanced! Kokushibo Headcannons!!

Hi everyone! It’s been a really long time since I’ve updated something on this app, I’ve been really busy but I’m going to try and update as often as I can.

There are some fics and other things in the works right now for the SFW and NSFW lovers

To help get me back into the habit of writing, have some headcannons of someone Ilike to write for.

These are NOT cannon, however are just how I see him based on the manga and other things, he still has traits of cannon attitude, however he isn’t perfect in my mind

Warnings: None, but KNY spoilers on his lore and everything

Reader is gender neutral unless stated otherwise :)

Kokushibo is red

Gn reader is purple

Fem/specifically stated AFAB reader is pink

Masc/specifically stated AMAB reader is blue

I’m skipping a LOT of a timeline after he met you and abandoned his wife and kids, you both are dating in these

He was quite cold when you both got together during the start of your relationship because he didn’t know how to react, however you opened him up (he’s still not Mr. Nice Man all the time)

If he were to ever get you a non-stolen gift, it would probably be something homemade

No, he can’t cook, so it could be a piece of art he crudely drew himself, a poem that he wrote himself, or a wood carving that didn’t have every detail, however the shape is there and it was made by him

He’d get a little sad if you didn’t accept his gifts :( he really tried so hard even if it doesn’t look good :(( but he’d try better next time to make his gift better so you’d like it

He truly believes in “actions speak louder than words” so he’d rather show you that he loves you, rather than just tell you

There are times where he isn’t home for days or weeks on end, and that’s when he gets antsy to see you

After he gets back, he gives you his undivided attention for a while

There are times where he wants to spend his time with you, but he also wants to meditate. His solution? Have you seated in his lap as he’s sitting cross-legged and he meditates with his arms around you

He’s tried to help you cook in the kitchen multiple times, that’s when you’ve found out that he is AMAZING at helping you, just not when doing it by himself

Whenever you get hurt, even if it’s as minor as accidentally bumping into a wall, he makes sure you don’t get hurt again for the rest of the day by keeping you beside him

If you’re a human: He truly believes in separating you from the rest of the demons, and makes sure that you do not follow him into any meetings, or have any association with demons besides him

The only demon that you’ve ever had any sort of interaction with was Akaza, and that was because you were dangerously sick, and Akaza got the fear of Yoriichi coming back put into him by Kokushibo, you’ve only seen him once though, and you don’t really remember what he looks like, besides pink hair

If you’re a demon: He’s a lot less hesitant to let you interact with demons, however he will try his best to make sure that you don’t get too close to the upper moons or Muzan in fear of your safety, you’re allowed to talk and interact with Akaza because your boyfriend is sure that he won’t do anything to harm you

I’m a firm believer that he either calls you by your name, darling, or some non-traditional name that sounds so nice whenever he says it. Those nicknames consist of: flower, little one, honey bee, or starlight

He also likes to call you nicknames that have “little” in front of it because, let’s face it, he’s taller and larger than you (I hc him to be around 236 cm or 7’8”) so you are little to him

He is a man of few words and rarely talks, however you fill the void of silence with your voice

If there are times where you don’t want to talk, then he will ask if you want him to start talking, or if you want to sit in silence

If you choose for him to talk, he will. His words will range from how his day was, to what he likes about you, to stories he read, to things he has heard about others in the towns he has been to

If you want him to not talk and be how he is, you both will be in a comfortable silence, with you leaning on his body, or laying on his chest

He likes to read, whether that’s to you, or by himself in your shared room, he even likes it when you read to him. He would even settle for both of you sitting near each other and reading the same book

In my opinion, I think he wouldn’t buy you flowers. HE WOULD GROW THEM HIMSELF

He isn’t very affectionate outside of when you’re tired and need him to curl around you, and trying to get him to kiss your cheek outside of your shared home is like trying to argue with Douma on how big his ego is

He acts kind of like a modesty appropriator to you, making sure your kimono, hakama, or other clothing pieces are covering you properly, and are not falling off of you, are fitting properly, and are comfortable on you

If you wished to go to a festival with him, he wouldn’t like to go however would make sure that you both stayed away from other people, because of his eyes and appearance

In my opinion, he likes the idea of having a garden and has done research on that sort of field, however he doesn’t have much of a green thumb outside of growing a couple easy vegetables and simple (but pretty) flowers

He likes to be alone a lot, and admires having his own space. If your shared home is big enough, he’d have his own room to himself that you are only allowed in with his permission. The things inside are plain, with a bedroll, a box for scrolls and books, a sitting mat, and basic sleeping room appliances. He keeps this area clean and is content as long as you respect this simple space as his

If you were to give him a gift, whether that be a new kimono, something you made or grew for him, or something you bought from the market, you can find it on a shelving unit in his private space, with other things of yours that you have used, but don’t need

These things of yours can be a hair stick, clothing item, hairpin, hair piece, piece of jewelry, or a gift he plans on giving you

He likes to watch you sleep, but not in a creepy way, he likes how peaceful you look

He notices things about you that you didn’t notice yourself

He might not understand certain words and cues relating, however he is a literal god at reading body language and expressions

Dating him at first can be a bit difficult because he most likely isn’t so easy to read, however the longer you both have been together, the more you pick up on his cues for each emotion he is feeling

Again, he is a man of few words and expressions, however he means what he says

He really does care about you and your safety

He loves you <3

———————

Hope you enjoyed! I’m going to try and post something at least once a week, and see how that works

Asks are open! Please give me ideas on what to write :)

Have a great day!!

[finemeal]

AO3 Etiquette

Alright, y’all, you already know what I’m about to say. But go ahead get some water, something to eat, take your meds, and whatever else you need to do as I go into this. Ready? Good.

I’ve seen far too many users on AO3 being rude and saying things that I’m not even sure they understand is rude.

If you’ve done these things, don’t sweat it too much. As long as you learn and do better, that’s what’s important. I don’t wanna make anyone feel bad, but I want to make y’all AWARE.

So let’s talk about some basic etiquette for interacting on AO3.

(Disclaimer: not every AO3 author is going to agree. Some are okay with some of these things, some aren’t. Let’s just play on the safe side yeah?)

Comment Etiquette

Listen, we’ve all left comments on fics we like. But here’s the thing, some of us don’t realize what comments are rude or not.

Comments that pass the vibe check:

Hearts

Something you liked about the story

Saying you enjoyed the story

Excited to see more from an author (not demanding an update, not asking for more, just genuine excitement for whatever the author has in store)

Anything that is genuinely nice

Theories on what you think will happen (not necessarily what you want or hope happens)

Comments that do not pass the vibe check:

DEMANDING an update

Treating fic authors like content pumps and not real people who do this in their free time

Critiquing the story

Saying how they should’ve written something different

Constructive criticism that the author did NOT ask for

Saying things that are purposefully antagonistic

Trolling

Anything that if someone said to you about something you worked hard on you would think was rude

Dogging on how a character was written

Comments that are WILDLY different from the tone of the story (i.e leaving a graphically violent comment on a story that does not feature graphic violence)

Any mention on how long it’s been since they’ve updated — you’re gonna make your wait longer

This one is more of a personal ick but any “want to see” comments, specifically on one-shots (I want you to enjoy what I’ve written, not talk about stories you hope I’ll write — unless author says that they specifically want those comments)

Honestly there’s so many comments that do not pass the vibe check I can’t even list them all. But I listed a BUNCH so, general rule of thumb is: If you’re not sure it’s rude, reach out to a friend and ask. Also, you can ask for people in the comment section to vibe check you if you’re unsure. And? If you know it’s rude and say it anyway, you’re an asshole.

ALSO: author’s will read your comments! They may not respond, but 9/10 author’s will read the comment so remember that you’re not posting into the void. And? People will call you out if you’re being rude. Don’t double down. Apologize, delete comment, move on.

Author’s talk, we will block you if you’re a raging asshole cuz we don’t need that kinda energy in our fics. And, sometimes we’ll turn off anon commenters cuz if you’re going to continue to be an asshole, and can’t even say it to our face, you din’t deserve to comment.

Bookmark Etiquette

This one is prolly gonna get a lot of people riled up and I simply don’t care. If you disagree, that’s fine, just know as an author and friends with other AO3 author’s we consider these sorts of things rude.

Bookmarks that pass the vibe check:

No comment

A nice comment with the bookmark

Private bookmarks (no matter what it’s tagged/commented with)

Nice/neutral tags

A note to self about where you left off

Bookmarks that do not pass the vibe check:

Anything rude for the comment/tag section of a bookmark — unsure what’s rude? See comment section above

Ranking the fic (see this way more often in bookmarks than anywhere else)

Unread bookmarks (not always a fail, it’s just weird? You can mark for later, why are you bookmarking my story without reading it?)

If your bookmark is private? It doesn’t matter how you tag/note it/whatever. But if it’s public? Author’s will sometimes go look at bookmarks because people will leave nice little comments that make us feel good. If you say something mean we can’t even delete it. But I can guarantee we’ll block you!

Yes, bookmarks are for the reader, but just because you didn’t intend for an author to see what you said doesn’t make it any less mean. If it’s public: shame on you. Make a bookmark that’s mean in private, then I won’t care.

Conclusion

Don’t be mean. If you don’t like a story, you don’t have to say anything. It takes more time to leave a nasty comment or bookmark something in a mean way than it does to just back out of the fic. I get it, you don’t like the fic. I don’t like every fic I read. You know what we do? We use the back button.

We’re all people, we all have lives and things going on. Just know 2024 is the year I’m no longer replying to nasty comments. I’m deleting them, blocking if I want to, and moving on.

If you have any questions, feel free to ask. Again, this post has a very aggressive tone because I’m sick of seeing mean comments on my friend’s fics. Will this stop those comments? No, but I hope it lessens them.

This truly is just about educating people. If you have any questions, anything you want to add. Feel free, pop off monarchs.

[marty-parties]

Happy September 15th! Which, if you didn't know, is 'leave a comment day.' I could be wrong though, since my source is a poll i took on my other blog - either way, i've come up with a fun idea.

In honour of ‘leave a comment day’ i’ve made a list of all of my favourite fanfics/authors that I can think of atm, and I wanna leave a nice little note about them and their work! This isn’t in any particular order, tbh it’s mostly me going through my AO3 bookmarks and re-reading all of my fav fanfic, haha. 

I honestly had no idea 'leave a comment day’ was a thing, and if you didn’t either, show your favourite authors that you appreciate them! Anything from a heart emoji, or a key smash, or an insightful/heartfelt comment will do wonders in terms of showing/being appreciated.

A lot of these fics below have influenced me in some way, big or small, into how/what I write today. I guess I wanted to give thanks where I could. (It’s also just really sick to make a doc full of your favourite things,and I highly implore you to do it too, even if you don’t wanna post it. (That's totally fair, no pressure.) I keep going over in my mind what I like about each fic and ‘oh, this fic is different from that, but it’s still fantastic, oh and this fic, too,’ etc. it’s such a fun little snowball effect of positivity, i definitely recommend you do this if you have time and need a pick me up, haha.)

Little note, here, If you’ve seen that I’ve read your fic, but found you’re not on the list - it’s not that I don’t like you/or work! I probably very well did enjoy it! I found as I was making this list it was taking a lot of my free time. (Free time that i’d rather like to use writing or reading more, haha.) And, I feel like this list is already so wickedly long ‘cause I can't shut my mouth to save my life, to add more might be a little bit much to read all in one go. 😅

So, please don’t be upset if that’s the case! ily *mwah* 

Also, there’s a few nsfw fics mention at the end, so if you’re a minor, pls buzz off,  that content isn’t for you! I also recommend you check the links on some of these fics. I think I’ve included warnings where I think they’re due, but you know yourself better than i do. And, who knows, I might’ve accidentally missed a tag or two - So, please take care of yourself out there! 

You’ll notice i’ve either included a source for either the authors tumbr, or AO3. I originally was going to try and do both, but i lost steam. Each story is linked to their author, on some site, promise. 

Last thing, most of these fics are in the undertale fandom, tbh. It’s been my ride or die since highschool, so i’ve got a lot of love and things to say. You won’t find any frans or foncest here, i’m a reader insert girlie, simply put, and I don't care much for those tags on the fics i read. 

Quick legend here:

Complete = complete work

Ongoing = still updating / i think they’re still update

Incomplete = either hiatus, or just incomplete

So, without further ado- 

 Road Side Attraction (Ongoing, teen+ rating) and Dirty Laundry (Complete, teen+ rating)

By Popatochisp  (AO3) / popattochisp (Tumbr)

I’m going to be grouping together fics by author. Usually when I find one I really like, i really lurk around their tumblr/AO3 for others, haha.

–AND because I can’t think of one fic without the other. I find myself going back to read them both quite frequently, usually on rotation,  they’re my little bedtime stories i keep on repeat in my mind, lol. 

I mean, if you’re in the undertale fandom how can you not know about pop? For me, them (and luluwrites, among a few others i can’t remember rn,) –were really impactful to me growing up, as I think it was to a lot of people. (Tbh they’re still impactful, actually. I find myself going back even pretty often to read the same fics I read in high school.) They’re like the one piece of media you read in English class in high school that sticks with you throughout your adult life. (Looking at you, monkey’s paw.)

Pop has like 1,000 different au’s to choose from, all with fantastic and deep characterizations and lore.( I don’t know how they do it, i’m only writing a/b ONE skeleton rn, and i feel like a hamster on a wheel trying to get his characterization right.  I couldn’t imagine doing that for every single au they have. God damn.) 

I especially love Roadside Attraction, because of how easily i can relate to it? I’m deep in the sticks, a town more populated by livestock and people. When I read this, I can really put myself i MC’s shoes - b/c i’ve been there! (Hah, maybe not the dating skeletons part, granted, lol.) But it’s such a fantastic read, I love any and all media that has a vibe that it could take place in like a   rural Montana. (think scenes in Twilight. Tall spruce/pine trees, misty morning, the possibility of seeing bigfoot, that sorta thing.) 

And Dirty Laundry? Come on, dude. What a love letter to the swapfell universe, truly. If you haven't read it, you gotta. The world building, and the changing POV’s are so damn good, that every chapter feels crisp, and like you’ve got a really good inside scoop of each character. You can’t knock the characterization in this one, fellas. All the dynamics are so dead on - how Sans and Papyrus interact, how Sans and Alphys – dude, even how Sans and Toriel interact read so deeply in character. Everyone’s motives and ideas make sense to each character and the conflict that it  brings. Big fan. 10/10, will definitely read again and again. (There’s also a ‘Menswear addition, where the reader has he/him pronouns if that’s your cup of tea!) 

Bones Picked Clean (Incomplete, teen+ rating) and) Apéritifs (Ongoing, Mature rating)

By Skelezbian (tumblr) / luluwrites (on AO3)

Woof, where do I start?? I think Bones Picked Clean is another one of the first fics I remember being a really impactful piece of undertale fanwork that stuck with me. I know they’re not the one who created the whole ‘lodge’ scenario, (if you know, you know. Thank you @Tyrant_Tortoise, we’ll be seeing you next,) but they put a spin on it that is so interesting to see. The problems feel very realistic, like something that can easily happen in a house full of busy bodies with not enough communication. And, ohmygod the MC. My first love, truly. You get to see each set of skeleton brother’s, and watch how MC’s befriends them all. Granted, they have a track record of putting themselves in dangerous situations, for reasons revealed in the fic, but they’ve got a heart of gold, and a PHD in being a sweetheart.

The horrortale boys really shine here. I haven’t read much horrortale centric fanfics, but I really like the soft horrorale’ spin. The healing after the damage, the sunshine after the storm, watching the fauna overgrow, etc. I love watching characters grow when love is shown, and here, you can really see it here. I love domesticity, and using food as a love language– which is something this fic has in spades!

(I also love love swapfell characterization in this fic, chapter 13 does a REALLY good job of walking you through the mindspace of sf pap. But in terms of favourties, i’d have to say that would be Chapter 18. You get to see sf pap’s relationship with his brother!  You really see/understand their dynamic, and how they really act as brothers behind closed doors. The other reason it’s a favourite is the inherit domesticity! Maybe I’m a sucker for the normie, slice of life, but how MC and sans chit chat at the start of the chapter is so cute! )

Warning: mention of past cannibalism, past murder, past abuse? I think that’s it, maybe check the tags to be sure. They sound scary, but I promise it’s a very sweet story. 

Ohh, Apéritifs. First of all, what a clever name! I’m a sucker for word play, and this title alone really did it for me, haha. (if you don’t get it, please google ‘define Apéritifs’, and you’ll be just as jazzed as me.)  They’re three stand alone one-shots featuring a  different skeleton each chapter. I will say, I think chapter 3 is my fav. It’s actually heavily inspired me to make one of my one shots - it’s that good! I love the world building in it, as well. Really, you can’t go wrong. (Lulu really knows how to nail flirty dialogue, in very funny ways. ‘“so, you a fan of spare ribs, or just mine?”’ (ch. 3 – Apéritifs) KILLS ME, oh my god, what a funny flirty little one-liner. 

Skeleton Squatters and The LandLady (Incomplete, teen+ rating)

By Tyrant_Tortoise (AO3) tyranttortoise (Tumblr)

Man– SSLL walked so we all could run. The amount of ‘lodge’ type fanfic dynamic i’ve seen, BECAUSE of this fic is wild. I might be wrong in saying this, but I think they were the one who came up with the whole ‘lodge’ type scenario, like all the reverse harems with all the au’s. 

I haven’t read anything of theirs in a long time, but I wanna pay my respects where respects are due. Tyrant made one hell of an influential fanfic, enough so, that I’m pretty sure if I had a timeline of fandom evolution on undertale alone– I think there would be a noticeable difference in the before and after SSLL.  Which, is so sick!! To have influenced a whole fandom with a concept that we’re still seeing it years later? (I get that trends sorta tend to last longer in fandoms than they do irl, but isn’t that such a neat thing to think about?) 

I’m going to age myself (and maybe you, reading this a bit, but–) the first chapter was posted in 2017. 2017! Isn’t that nuts to think about? I was literally 17 at the time. No WONDER it stuck with me, my teenage brain was looking for all the  serotonin it could get from fandoms.  (wow. Things haven't changed all that much for me, haha. 

Skeleton Ex Machina (Incomplete, teen+ rating)

By Cryptid_jack (AO3)

Ohh, okay, for all the SSLL fans out there, you probably already know who cryptid_jack is. And if not, I'll gladly tell you!

They’ve made this cool ass AI AU (it’s a LOT cooler than it sounds, I promise!) in their words, ‘a fanfic of a fanfic’ that’s actually in Skeleton Squatters and The LandLady (see above.) I’d recommend reading SSLL to fully understand this - although, if you’re good at picking up context clues, or maybe don’t mind missing some context, I don’t necessarily think you’d have to, since jack does a really good job of showing the reader everything that’s going on. (although, i really  recommend you do.)

I think this au is so cool, it’s literally tagged as ‘Quarantine Sans’ (which, i’ll be the first to say, that maybe that name didn’t hold up too well, with recent 2020 events, an’ all that. Pandemic aside, it’s a cool name for an AU!) 

It’s also really fun to see two friends in the fandom interact with each other's works like this. Even reading the note at the start of the fic, you can just feel the camaraderie and care that went into paying each other's proper respects. 

Big big ups, hats off to proper manners and friendship!

All’s Fair In Love and (Prank) War (Incomplete, teen+ rating)

By torrikor (AO3)

Ohh, this is a short and sweet 2 chapter read. I don’t the author is going to circle back to it, but i suggest you read it anyways! the idea is so so good! In essence, MC and sf sans are roommates, and MC starts a prank war. I love love love their dynamic, their bickering is a real treat to read, that, coupled with their size difference? Sign me up!

My Favorite Thing (Complete, teen+ rating) and A Conversation Starter ( Complete, teen+ rating) 

By peachwhimzy (AO3) peachwhimzy-things (Tumblr)

I’m a slut for their characterization of sf pap here, oh my god. Both are so so good, and i know  i must sound like a broken record by saying I love how this author interpreted his character - but i can’t help it! So many people have good ideas and ways to showcase a character! Sue me.  

A Conversation Starter is another one that’s inspired me to write a little one-shot. It’s so fantastically written, sf Papyrus and MC are at a bus station, both the first human and monster either have met. The world building is subtle, but wonderfully done. MC is so damn cute in this, and so is Papyrus, who’s really just trying to keep the conversation going, lol. There’s a delightful slice of life aspect to this. 

Honestly, a lot of of Peach’s work feel very domestic, and sweet, and romantic. Sorta like i’m reading a studio Ghibli movie. Do yourself a favour and go check em out!

Late Night Shift Romance (Complete, teen+ rating)

By Inumaru12 (AO3)

The one fic on here that’s not a romance,how about that. (I guess that’s not technically true. There's possibly something budding, if you squint. I always read it as platonic friendship- it’s fanfic! Read it with whatever context you’d like!)

Burgerpants and MC are at the same convenient store late at night, and there’s a robbery. Friendship ensues. I love seeing the background character of undertale, and honestly, who doesn't relate to Burgerpants? Perpetually working shitty minimum wage jobs, trying to chase his dreams - that’s rough. I appreciate a character who can give a nod to class solidarity.. I think Inmuaru12 did so well writing his character, it feels like he was plucked out of the game himself, haha. 

My Dearly Detested Delivery Man, (Complete, teen+ rating) and Black Coffee (Complete, general audiences rating) 

By Little_old_lady (AO3)

Lol yet another set of swap fics, haha. (Yet another great example of different interpretations of the swapfell au!)

My Dearly Detested Delivery man is so  fun, I love an ‘enemies to friends to lovers’ type of fic. I love the dialogue, it’s so funny! Like almost sitcom-esk with how good the one liners are. I think my favourite thing about writing fanfic is the dialogue- but reading what other authors have cooked up is such a treat, too. I love seeing authors with a certain brand of wit/cleverness they think the character would have, and seeing their own comedy bleed through, too sometimes. Little_old_lady does a good job showing the reader what you can gleam from the characters with how they talk to each other, in a way that sets the tone for their relationship. (whether it’s platonic, romantic, etc.)  There’s so many ways you can show friendship, but I think the “passion” (lmao I don’t know what else to call it!)  that’s at the heart of any argument is what can create the difference between friends arguing, vs two people who could be more. (Better put, I think what I like about two characters arguing is the sorta obvious chemistry it can create.) 

Black Coffee does a good job about that too! I’ll be the first and last to say that I love any characters whose love language is ‘argue’ (lol even though irl I wouldn’t last long in any relationship like that, haha. ) I can be hit or miss with a soulmate au, but there’s another layer that I think undertale adds another level to in a soulmate au-since the game established that monsters and magic are real— that it almost feels a little more plausible of an au, than say, a soulmate AU of parks and rec? (no hate on the au or parks and rec, haha. I guess it just feels more “realistic” being that undertale is already a world made of magic, that magical soulmates, is one more step into weird that also makes sense?) I also love the bro-ship mc has with pap, in this one. Coming from someone who’s constantly worked retail/with customers one-on-one, somedays you want to go ape shit, so it’s nice to see an MC who can.

Half Your Age Plus Seven (Complete, teen+ rating) 

By KassyKins

Ohhh, what a little treat this was to read. Tragedy! Romance! Love-rivalry! (NOT a love triangle!) People just Trying to do their best, they’ve got it all! This is another MC i’m in love with. They know what they love, and what they’re passionate about, but when push comes to shove, they’ll choose their family over themselves every single time. I think it’s a very admirable trait to have, integrity, and the ability to self-sacrifice.  I think those two tropes/characteristics can really lead a story in so many interesting directions - weather it be an MC who’s too self-sacrificing, giving parts of themselves to everyone, leaving nothing for themselves, or an MC who’s pushing themselves through the ringer trying to do what they think is right according to their integrity, burning them up in the process.  In this particular case, it’s maybe a little bit of both, coupled with (sad) a slice of life meet cute, with a healthy dose of growing pains. 

There’s something about it that always hits extra hard to me, the ‘thrust into the lime light, or power, or a position they have no business being in. But, they’ve got people on the line, their people to take care of, so by god they’ll try.’ There’s something so tragic and poetic about it – but who knows, maybe I'm waxing poetic about the eldest daughter trope. 

This fic really nicely written, and there’s so many fun hijinks and shenanigans in there to make you chuckle. Featuring another MC who’s able to shout at their boss and get away with it- big ups from me, lets goooooo working class!

Fair warning, this is a notable age gap from MC and swapfell gold sans. It is talked about in the story as well. I personally don’t mind it too much, but if that’s a no-go from you, you’ve been warned. (Maybe just check the tags on this one, (spoilers!) I know someone gets pregnant later. But, I know that can freak some folks out, so, heads up.) 

There’s some smut mentioned, but it doesn’t go into detail about it, so i’ll leave it above the NSFW section. Just fair warning! (Maybe not a story for minors? I don’t know, read at your own discretion if you are?) 

For the smut mention, be warned that I couldn’t find any age in their bio, do with that what you will. 

And Now It’s Crystal Clear(Complete, teen+ rating)

By nighttimelights (AO3)

Oh, man. What another banger read. 

Fun fact- i read this in . . . highschool? But i forgot the name of the fic,and it took me FOREVER, im talking YEARS before I found it again. I actually gave up the hunt, and just found it again one day– what an utter joy that was for me to rediscover it. I felt like I ran into my highschool sweetheart at the grocery store after not thinking about them in years. 

It’s really cool concept on the whole ‘machine gaster’ situation. I respect someone so damn much who incorporates a bit of sci-sfi in their fics, I have no idea how to write it, but I love to read it/see it in media. So to see it, and understand it, and how it’s relevant to the plot is a real treat!

I also love the ending.  :)

Wish Bone (Ongoing, Explicit rating)

By timeofjuly

I could not, in good conscience make this list without including my bestie, the OG and probably the reason why I'm actually posting what I'm writing today. I really can’t sing their praises high enough – but for the sake of comment day, I sure can try, haha.

July really does a good job of creating a wicked atmosphere in her works. The stark difference between Wish Bone (a political romance drama) and Resisting the Currents (reverse harem, but the gf likes you too. It's linked in the nsfw section, please check it out if you can.) is so incredible – they’re really an author that can do both, haha. Even though both fics are so different, what they have in common is their ability to get you right in your feelings, in whichever way the story calls for. 

In Wishbone  – Flint (the MC) has a bad case of being a massive asshole, that’s verging on becoming chronic. Their paranoia has caused their head to permanently be a swivel, and they’ve developed a taste for their own brand of Justice (however malicious as it is.)  That sounds like the start of a vigilante story, but in all truth, Flint is a dick. Which, is another thing July is great at! Writing MC’s who are assholes! You love to hate them, you hate that you love them! 

This is a MC x sf Pap, and later X sf Sans as well, If you’re hoping for a sappy romance, you’ve come to the wrong place. This is a reluctant soulmate AU fic, a fantastic spin on the traditionally very romantic au, a meet ugly, sort of vibe. If you love arguing, political drama, fantastic world building, and a very, sad, broken MC – you’re going to love this. Hell, even if how I described it doesn’t sound appealing to you – I implore you to check it out anyways. July will absolutely knock you on your ass with her writing. By god, there’s themes, motifs and symbolism that I'm not smart enough to analyse, let alone talk about. Whether July intentionally put them there or not, I have no idea, but they’re there and it adds another layer of depth in a delightfully, painful soul crushing way. 

Go, see what I mean for yourself! 

Tbh, i feel like I could go on forever about what I love about their fics, and my little personal theories on them – but I feel like I already look pretty unhinged. For the sake of my ego, i’ve gotta move on. 

In terms of warnings, I think I sorta covered them? There's Plenty of anger, and hatred, ummm monster phobia? There might be some sorta nsfw stuff down the line, thus the rating, but as it stands now it’s smut free! Just a heads up, I suppose. 

 In Two weeks time and Red is my favorite color

By who_wants_a_muffin (AO3) 

My other current ongoing fav, in two weeks time! Another swapfell sans one, to the surprise of absolute of no one, haha. 

This MC is a dude! A man! Which is a refreshing change up, I don’t think there’s many many fics out there with a male leaning/male dominant MC’s. The characterization of MC is very good, 

is so so good, it’s and X sf sans, and he’s got the exact right amount of snark and sass to keep you coming back, haha. (Or, I guess in this case, he keeps coming back. MC works at the pool he frequents.) Their banter is really fun to read, bordering on bickering, really. They’re almost like a little old married couple, haha. Which is to say, you can really feel the chemistry they have even though they’re basically strangers. 

sf Papyrus is such a little shit in this one, i love it. He’s perpetually the youngest brother, and how Muffin writes him is so snarky and funny, and very endearing. 

The chapters are short and sweet, enough so that you can read it a few times in the same day and still enjoy it, even though his updating schedule is crazy fast! I don’t know how he does it, but they’re just motoring along, haha. I get excited whenever I get an email saying Muffin updated. It’s like a little treat to brighten your week.

I’ve been reading a bit of his other stuff, and he just gets it! Like the dynamic between MC and fell sans in Red in my favorite color, is just perfect. I love the soft!underfell au, and he does a really good job of capturing how underfell sans straddles the line between being a bad boy, and a boy that's not all that bad.

I also love the notes he writes, ‘Hello gays and other assorted sillies!’ (from Chapter 2 in Red in my favorite color,) Like COME ON, that’s so funny! 

– Undertale related 

Bonley Hearts Club (Demo available, Ongoing, teen+ rating) 

Bonely Hearts Club (tumblr) 

owl-bones (tumblr) is the Developer and Director and (self proclaimed! I’m not being mean!) Lead Nerd.  Here is a link to their cast, although it might not be fully updated. (It’s  \a big one, so I'm going to leave it as a link.) 

I don’t even know how to begin to explain my love for Bonely Hearts Club. It’s a fanmade game, made entirely of love, which you can tell, even before you play it. The sprites are so cute, and fantastic, and the writing is so in character and on point, do not get me started on the voice acting - which is also incredible. I’m not kidding, when I first played the demo, I immediately followed the voice actors on tumblr after, haha. 

This is the kinda piece of art that you just stand back and look at it, and just go ‘wow’. It’s such a big undertaking! I know very little about game development, but from what i vault remember from my comp sci class - is that is’s hard. Mad respect from me to Owl, and everyone a part of the team/process. 

This is off topic, but I wonder if Toby Fox has read any of these fics, or played the demo of this dating sim, like in the same way Alex Hursh has played a bit of Swooning Over Stans: A Grunkle Dating Sim. I’d pay serious money to have Toby play the dating sim demo. God, could you imagine the energy in that livestream? It would be goddamn electric.

[ Soul Redacted ] (Completed, teen rating) and The Great Noodle Jape (Completed, teen rating) 

By nighttimepixels (game jolt) nighttimepixels (tumblr) 

// active twitter lethalhoopla  

//active tumblr lethalhoopla

Good god, talk about a . . .what, triple, quadruple threat? There’s nothing nighttimepixels can’t do. They write, they make art, they’ve made two complete games, (and the beginning of another,) and they animate!! Like oh my god! Another love letter to the fandom, everything they do is so so good. 

[Soul Redacted] is a very cool rpg sidescroller explorer/mystery, and i’d say a touche of sci-fi in there, too. It has fantastic writing, and features Q! (from Cryptid_jack au, in Skeleton Squatters and The LandLady fromTyrant_Tortoise  fic! see above for all!) Truth be told, I got a little scared playing this. Granted, I played it at like 2 am in the dark - and I am a coward lol. I don’t think the average person will get scared, but fair warning anyways, haha. 

They’re not into the undertale fandom anymore, I don't think. Which is sad to hear, but also understandable. It’s not fun making art and other creations if you’ve lost that spark there. However, if you’re a mass effect fan, they’re making a bunch of art on their other bog. I personally really love their art style, so i’ll gladly keep checking back. Also, there’s so much undertale content on their blog that you’ll be good for a long while. And if not, you can always go back and look again! If you can’t experience it for the first time, the next best thing is to experience it again. 

Warning: I think there’s some flashing lights at some point? Maybe double check the tags on that one if that’s a concern for you. 

The Great Noodle Jape is so damn cute. As night put it, ‘a visnov style silly whodunit’, which I think it captures it perfectly. The writing is so fun, all the characters feel very well written/in character, and i love how they all interact with each other. As well, the sprites are so fantastic! Night has that kind of art style where you just know it's theirs without needing to confirm. 

No warnings that I could think of, other than you’ll be wishing for the experience of playing it for the first time once you’re done.

– non-Undertale related fics - 

Cult of the Lamb—

The Rehabilitation of Death 

By bamsara (AO3) / bamsara (Tumblr)

WOOF. I am an ‘happy ending angst’ lover, and a ‘energies to lovers slow burn,’ and this fic takes the cake on both regards. Truly, who could pine better than a god, who’s named literally ‘The One Who Waits’? What an aptly named character for one of the major troupes in the fic, haha.

But for all you freaks out there (lol me) who don’t mind horror some of the time, I recommend reading it! Even if you’re not into CoTL, the pining is so goddamn good! (Considering it’s about gods, they’ve been pining for hundreds of years without even knowing it–  the slowest of burns, like oh my GOD.) Bam also is known to post longer chapters- so if you like a read that lasts a couple days, PLEASE do yourself a favour and check it out. I don’t wanna spoil anything, but they’re getting to the part where the main couple is starting to be nice to each other, plus, the subplot B couple is starting to sorta shack up too. There are so many good, funny dynamics that are in this fic, that I don’t have enough words to properly explain them. 

They also make fantastic artwork and sketches for just about each scene in their fics - which for all you visual girlies out there (myself, haha.) I think you’d appreciate it! I wish I was that type of triple threat, but I think i’d burn out too quickly if I was also drawing scenes of my fics – which is why I think it’s so impressive when other authors/artists do it! 

 They do art streams pretty frequently, too, and they make stickers too! A true triple threat, 

Just, fair warning-  like Cult of the Lamb (the game the fic is based off,)  this fic mentions a lot about gore, and death, and mention of cults and religion. So if any of that is a turn off, or something you don’t like to read about, this might not be your cup of tea. 

Non-fanfic Undertale fandom related material– 

FNAF—

Solar Lunacy (Incomplete, Mature)

By BamSara

(I kept these two separate on the account they’re different fandoms, lol) 

I was very briefly into the FNAF fandom, I only read a handful of fics— but Solar Lunacy really stuck with me!

Robots with trauma! An overly curious MC! I think what I like most about this, is how driven mc is? Usually it gets them into trouble, haha, but I love that troupe where the MC really puts themselves through the wringer looking for answers. (I.e like ford and bill from gravity falls.)  

What’s not to love? For all you robot fans out there, it’s pretty sick! I’m sure if you dig deep enough on Bam’s tumblr you’ll find all their old DCA fanart, and draw parts from this fic. 

Fair warning! Scary robots, the regular tags of the fnaf fandom (past child abuse/past child murder), robots don’t understand boundaries, maybe check the tags on this one, just in case. 

Sleuth Jesters (Series!) (Complete, teen+ and mature ratings, depending on which fic in the series you’re reading.)

By naffeclipse (AO3)

This was the other FNAF fanfic that really stuck with me when I had the robot bug. (lol)  I’ll be the first one to admit that I’m not overly into the whole ‘mafia boss’ side of self-ships, but if I had to choose one to read for the rest of time –  it would definitely be this one. It’s like a detective noir, where mc is the vigilante who’s only law they follow is their grey moral code - but usually it’s for the good! So you can’t really feel to bad about that, haha. 

Tbh it’s almost hard to verbalise what I like about it, it’s one of those fics that give you a feeling you can’t name, and it’s so frustrating to have this unnamed feeling you can’t quite pinpoint! (PLEASE tell me some of ya’ll know what i’m talking about!)

I feel so tragically for the MC, if that makes sense? They’re constantly putting themselves in harm's way for answers, and for others.  They’re selfless, yet selfish, and they never let anyone too close, except for when they do. There’s some heavy themes and very toxic relationships, but there’s a happy ending! 

Ahh warning for a very possessive, toxic robot, and kidnapping in later fics - i suggest you read the tags just in case! Bam is really good at tagging triggers accordingly, 

Fair warning: blood and injury, very possessive character, toxic relationships (one sided), mention of injury, violence, kidnapping, guns, gunshot  wounds, shootouts, broken bone- probably some more. I recommend checking the tags on this one as well, just to be on the safe side. 

NSFW Below – Minors get out of here pls!

A quick mention, before I get into this–

I tried to check and make sure all the authors below are all well over 18, i’ve indicated which link has their age posted in their bio’s if you’d like to check for yourself. If I couldn’t find it, I made sure to be clear that I don't know. 

Just doing some light housekeeping, here. You should also check the tags on each fic for what kinda . . . stuff it has, lol. 

Play With Me (Incomplete, explicit rating) 

By grimrester (AO3) / grimrester  (tumblr/ age in bio here.) 

Oh my god. Oh my god! For all you queers on the ace/aromatic spectrum just like me, this is the fic for you!

I could easily go back and read this again and again - tbh I already do. It’s plot with porn, and then it turns into porn with plot, but emotional!  love the relationship between MC and Sans. There's something about their intimacy that’s so casual (maybe not the right word for what I mean,) but vulnerable, and realistic, but very enthusiastic and personal? I don’t think I even have the right words to properly and fully describe what all I like about this fic, but what I do know is that I like it a lot, haha. 

I like that it shows sex and intimacy in a different way. I know it’s pretty common for undertale smut to have some kind of ecto junk involved - this one doesn’t. I personally, like the creativity involved in thinking different ways a person can get off that isn’t just penetration. (Don’t get me wrong, that’s in here too, but that comes a little bit later.) 

I’m also s Big Fan of the sf sans interpretation here. It’s like a soft swapfell, one of my favourite version of him. I said it already, but there’s so many ways a person can go with his character, and I really really like the worldbuilding. It’s a nice subtle nod told through the characters. I love his relationship he has with Alphys, it all feels so incredibly in line with the character, even though he’s a swapfell version, he still does have some sort of friendship with her – even if to him it’s under a guise. To me, it’s one of those things that you can see the core traits that make him a sans, and that’s a hard needle to thread! Just an all around great character study. 

ALSO, I think I have a particular penchant for MC’s with oddly specific niche jobs?? In my heart of hearts, Pixy’s (the name of the arcade MC owns in Play with Me) is like right next door to Faunas (the name of the pot store my MC owns in Into The Weeds.) 

Warnings: i’m pretty sure this one is tagged accordingly on AO3, so i’m not going to tag it all here, just know there’s smut. 

Something Good (Ongoing, Mature) 

By skeletonlvr22 (AO3)

WARNING: No age in bio that I could find. This fic isn’t at the smut yet - but becuase of the 'eventual smut' tag, and for the sake of transparency, i’m letting you know. (I’m like 90% sure this person is an adult though, since there’s a tag thanking their husband for their help.) Do what you will with this info, you’ve been warned. 

This is another one of my current reading obsessions lately! 

I think i’m realizing I have a particular penchant for some of the lesser known au’s? (niche, I suppose?) Fellswap Gold Pap sets out on his own in only his trusty bus, to explore the surface above, away from the (over-) protective eyes of his brother. 

This is the escape fantasy of my dreams. A stray skeleton on the adventure of his lifetime, seeing the sights and the city lights. The romance portion in the later chapters is so damn cute too, it’s very much the ‘first love’, type of romance that’s very sweet and charming. (also, c’mon, who doesn't love a coming of age story?) Love love seeing a Fellswap Gold fic, and a Papyrus based one, too! People are so damn creative, I never would've ever thought of this plot for a fic, but now that I know it’s real, I love it!I I’m really not kidding when I say it’s prime escape fantasy material -  I think it would be the cats ass to have a van and travel across north america, thanks skeletonlv22 for letting me vicariously live through Pap in your fic. :) 

Warning: Only the ones i’ve given at the top! It’s a very cute story. I put it in the NSFW section b/c of the eventual smut, there’s none in it now – although, they certainly are starting to get flirty. 

Resisting the Currents (Ongoing, Explicit) 

By timeofjuly (AO3) timeofjuly (Tumblr) 

WARNING: No age in bio that I could find, but I’ve been chit-chatting with July for months now and i’m 99.99% sure they’re well above 18. It’s not my info to give out, and i’m trying to be transparent on my end, do with this info what you will! 

Edit: age confirmed in the tags!

This is easily another fav of mine for sure. 

Resisting the Currents is a reverse harem fic (with all the au’s!) but with a twist - the gf likes you too! It’s a refreshing take on the ‘reverse harem’ tag you see often in the undertale fandom - and holy shit, truly ‘only love can hurt like this.’ The relationship they have with the MC is so painful, verging on devastating. There’s love there! There is! But there’s also hurt, and a lot of it, the kind that doesn’t just go away, not on its own, anyway. I’m trying not to spoil too much, because I truly think you should read it for yourself. 

But, Oh My God, their MC? Holyshit- I have a(n aforementioned) weakness for impressionable MC’s, oftentimes, I end up loving them more than the love interest in the fics.  I can’t help it! The electrician is personable, relatable, and funny! They’re a lovable goofball with a rough past, with a history of doing the wrong things.They're recovering/recovered? (I’m not too sure which is the correct term, here,) drug addict, and they’ve come a long way! They’ve changed a lot, and I love love love to see that kind of realism in an MC. 

If you’re reading RtC (which you should be,) you can 100% see me going apeshit in the comments trying to figure out what the elections and Quinn’s deal is. (ESPECIALLY chapter 11!

(Sorry if they’re not coherent, at one point, those theories made sense in my head, but looking back on them, I think they’re more so like the crazed ramblings of a conspiracy theorist, haha.) 

This fic is in the NSFW section b/c it does have a chapter where two characters get it on, but i can’t say that’s what the whole story is about. I put it down here to be safe rather than sorry, haha. 

Ahh, fair warning, there is past drug mention, and past abuse child abuse I think? Plus, a bit of mention of religion and the negative effects that can have on a person. Read the tags just to be safe!

Shark Teeth (Complete, Mature rating)

By luluwrites (AO3) skelezbian (Tumblr)

Warning: No age in bio that I could find. If it makes you feel any better, they joined AO3 in 2012, while I joined in 2016 and i’m 24 currently. I’m not good at math, but I think we’re all in the clear here. But like always, do with this info what you will! 

I will say, this isn’t full on smut - it’s saucy, but I’m trying to keep anything suggestive, kinda together? 

Not to divulge myself too furiously here, but uh–There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t think about Shark teeth. C’mon. Y'all get it, right? It’s just a funny, saucy little number! A funny moment that happens between couples that we get to see. There’s so many different interpretations on the fellswaps, (I know i’ve said it a lot,) but Lulu’s just happens to be one of my favourites interpretations!! Sf Sans is a very precarious character, and I think Lulu does a good job showing that the swaps can be written in a multitude of ways, he doesn’t just have to be the dickhead all the time, lmao. They really do a good job showing how he shines, y’know?

Warning: teeth and/or biting? Not full on smut, or anything, but it is saucy. So, take that into consideration. 

The Fulfilling Ordeal of Being Known (Complete, explicit) 

By nighttimepixels (tumblr) / // active on twitter lethalhoopla (age mention in bio here) 

Ohhh, for all my sapphics out there – you’re going to love this. 

Blade (fem  horrortale sans, who’s apart of her ‘Lillytale’ au, a sapphic take on all the au’s,) and MC settling down for a nice night in, MC playing breath of the wild (BIG UPPS, great game, lol) while Blade plays some games of their own - hopefully you get the picture. 

Just some great lady-lovin’ smut! Size difference! If you love the pillow princess treatment, this is the fic for you.

Warnings: (Lesbians? Queers?) really going to town on each other, def NSFW. Check the tags before reading, it’s nothing Dead Dove, or anything - just want you to be aware. 

mothiepixie (tumblr / age in bio here)

mothiepixie (twitter, age in bio here too) 

No fic to tag, but their art? AHHHHH. They’re more active on twitter than tumblr since The Ban, but ohhh their art is very, very good. Very great if you like fictional hunky men, and beautiful shapely ladies. 

Warnings: tasteful (shameless) smut, you’ve been warned, lol

Woof. That was a lot of typing. If you made it this far, circle back to one of the recommendations above and get to reading!

[flightlessangelwings]

Ktober 2023 Day 2- Knife Play

Axe Woves x fem!reader

Word count- 1.2k

Warnings- s.mut (18+ ONLY!), training, tension and flirting, sub!Axe, riding, knife play, no use of y/n

Notes- Oh I had fun with this one! Shout out to the Axe girlies (gn) who had this thought floating around! And I had to use that gif cause it fits so perfectly lol! Enjoy!

@flightlessangelwings-updates is my update blog so please follow that too and turn on post notifs to stay up to date on my new fics!

~

The sounds of grunts and blades clanging together filled the training room. You and Axe Woves sparred together often, and you learned a lot from him as he taught you tips and tricks. As grateful as you were to learn from someone like him, you couldn’t help but enjoy your training for other reasons as well. Being so close to him as your blades clashed together made your heart race, and when he looked into your eyes you swore time stopped for a moment.

“Don’t get distracted darling,” Axe quipped as he lunged for you.

You snapped back to the moment and blocked his attack, countering immediately, “Who says I’m distracted?” you snarked back, hoping to hide the way your eyes roamed over his figure whenever you got the opportunity.

Axe just huffed in amusement, “Let’s see how much you’ve improved then,” he smirked as he launched himself at you again.

It was a maneuver you’d seen him do before, and before you could never counter it. But today, you were determined not to lose. Thinking quickly, you raised your blade and steadied yourself for his attack, then used his weight and momentum to spin him out, causing him to lose his balance. That was when you rushed over with your own blade.

“Well done, darling,” Axe praised you as he blocked your attack, “You’re getting better.” He couldn’t help but glance down at your lips as his own thoughts raced in his mind.

Your heart flipped in your chest as you noticed his action, and you couldn’t believe that Axe Woves was looking at you like that. Part of you wanted to pinch yourself to make sure you weren’t dreaming, but at the same time you didn’t want to wake up if you were.

“Don’t get distracted,” you threw his words back at him with a low, sultry tone as you made a quick move to disarm him.

In a flash, you were able to knock Axe’s knife out of his hand and push him down onto the ground. Quickly, you straddled him, holding his own knife to his throat with a fire in your eyes. Heavy breaths filled the room as neither of you moved, yet the tension in the air was palpable. 

“Wow,” he breathed as he looked up at you in admiration. 

Your pulse quickened as one thought popped in your head: how hot Axe looked on his back like this. You bit your lip to suppress a moan.

“Darling,” his tone dropped as he caressed your hips and ran his hands up your sides, “If I may say so,” he paused as he rested his hand on your hips, “I’ve imagined quite a few scenarios with you… And this is hotter than any of them.” He looked at you with conviction in his eyes.

You gasped, “You… Imagined… Me?” your words came out in heavy breaths as you stuttered, yet the knife- his knife- you held stayed firm against his throat.

“I have,” he admitted, suddenly sheepish, “Tell me I’m wrong, and we’ll forget this ever happened, but I suspect if I were to do this,” Axe suddenly reached for the back of your head and yanked you down so that your lips hovered over his, “You wouldn’t object,” he finished in a whisper.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you felt his breath on your lips, “Never,” you smirked as you crashed your lips to his in a heated kiss.

Axe’s hands roamed all over your figure as you deepened the kiss. He felt his cock harden already, and he groaned when you rocked your hips against his ever so slightly. His skin warmed as he laid underneath you, with only the cold metal of his knife that you still held firmly against him the only reprieve from the warmth. 

“Axe,” you moaned his name between kisses as you rocked your hips more purposefully. 

“I have another confession,” he said when you both broke away for air. When you tilted your head slightly, he continued, “I have been waiting for you to beat me,” he let out a sharp laugh, “I had the feeling I would enjoy it… And I do,” he motioned to the knife on his neck, “I have to say you holding my own knife against me… Does something…”

“Oh does it now?” you purred as you shifted it slightly closer to his throat so that more of the sharp edge pressed against his skin, “I like it too,” your tone was low and dripped with lust as you bucked your hips once more, feeling his hardening cock against your body.

Then Axe let out a loud moan as his eyes fluttered shut and your resolve broke. Need suddenly filled the air as you pushed yourself off of him just enough to fumble with his pants and free his cock. Axe quickly caught on to what you were doing and hurriedly helped you undress enough so that your pants were off.

As you settled yourself on top of him once more, his cock grazing against your bare thigh, you grabbed the knife once more, “To keep you in place,” you murmured with a smirk.

“As if I would go anywhere,” his own voice dropped as his eyes darkened.

You rocked yourself against his cock a few times, allowing yourself to feel him before you lifted your hips and lined yourself up with the tip. Slowly, you sank down, both of you letting out loud moans as you did so. All the while, the knife never moved from his neck.

Your pace was steady and easy at first as you carefully bounced up and down on his cock. One hand stayed holding the knife while the other rested on his strong chest to steady yourself. Axe’s own hands stayed on your hips to help guide you, though he was perfectly content to stay underneath you.

“I like you like this, Axe Woves,” you smirked as you leaned forward and teased him with his knife once more.

All he could do was let out a low groan of your name as you rode him harder and faster. 

Panting filled the room but this time for a different reason. You bounded on Axe’s cock as you rode him hard, feeling him fill you up deeply. His knife stayed against his throat, both of you too turned on by its presence to move it. Sweat lined both your bodies as you both chased the release you craved so much.

And it didn’t take long for you each to get what you wanted.

“Darling,” he grunted as he bucked his hips up, “I’m…”

“Me too,” you breathed as heat built up from your core.

You leaned forward, and the new angle hit that sweet spot deep inside you. You took Axe’s lips with yours as you finally tossed the knife aside and wrapped your arms around him as much as you could. Axe held you tightly against his chest as you both hit your peaks at the same time. Swallowing each other’s moans, you rode out your climaxes together on the training room floor until you couldn’t hold yourself up any longer.

Collapsing down, you let out a heavy breath as you relaxed on top of him. Axe gently held you, caressing your body against his. Vaguely, you were both aware anyone could walk in at any moment, but neither of you seemed to care enough to move. You were too content to stay like this anyway.

[yakumtsaki]

Oh yay, our first thunder fire in the new house, wonder how long before someone dies again! Also love how you can see our old house in the background, a reminder you can run from your past but you can’t escape it. 

I am of course talking about this family’s past of semi-acceptable interactions between family numbers, because from now on is where things really go off the rails in this department. Allow me to introduce you to..

..Julian and Stacy’s daughter, Sunset Tinker-Union! (Because her parents wear pink and purple, get it? Get the name origin?) So the minute Bartholomew brought Sunset from school I knew it was over for me, as we’re now far enough removed from the other branches of the family tree that not even the extended family mod can save us from all those third cousins being fair game.. and you all know full well that if there’s one thing this family knows how to do, is be attracted to their distant cousins-

-I held out to one tiny hope that maybe Barflina will continue being socially incompetent losers and Sunset will hate them, but no, the minute a distant cousin enters the building it’s clearly time to turn up the charm. So first Bartholomew goes and smustles with Sunset, which, Barth, I didn’t know you were even like, biologically capable of having fun in any way-

-and then Felina (who I keep forgetting is SHY LOL WHAT) goes over to ADMIRE HER. BRO. I have never seen Felina do anything remotely nice her entire life, KILL ME.

But don’t worry, Sunset clearly takes after auntie June! She’s into it! She follows Barth to the toilet for no clear reason! WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME

So you at this point you might be like ya ok, calm your tits, there’s no guarantee anything will even happen. To which I reply go back and read, not even the whole thing, just our college runs, and then get back to me. We’ve been knocking on semi-incest’s door since generation 1 and now we don’t even have to knock, I mean the door is wide open! FML

ANYWAY, all this to say, it’s time to extremely focus on finding these two flops non-related-to-us people to date before we fuck off to college, and this is ALL I’m gonna be doing this update- 

-Like haha oh man Cyn and Sandy are starting a rock band, there’s def jokes here, NO. NO TIME, DON’T CARE, HAVE TO AVERT DISASTER.

-Failina, hold your goddamn notebook closer so I can copy, it’s hard with my eyepatch! -It’ll be even harder when I take your other eye out!

Alright you two.. uh.. awesome kids, let’s go out! 

-Go out where. -And WHY.

So you can have fun, meet people, maybe sing some karaoke or play bowling! You’ve seen how much fun your ancestors have had as teens out and about, driving drunk, being hoes, committing various crimes, you wanna miss out on that experience? It’s even how grandma Shajar met grandma Sophie and that marriage could not be stronger!

-Ugh ok, I guess I do need to get started on the spouse hunt. -And I would like to get drunk in a different setting than our library.

Perfect! Who knows, by the end of the night, you might even be besties singing duets like Jojo and Gunther!

Oh my- WE LITERALLY JUST GOT HERE. WHAT CAN YOU TWO POSSIBLY BE FIGHTING ABOUT

-SCREW YOU, DAVID OTTOMAS IS MINE -NO, HE’S MINE, HE’S THE ONLY TEEN SIM IN THE LOT AND I HAVE SENIORITY -THE HELL YOU DO

OK LET’S GO HOME

-SCREW YOU, I WANNA OPEN THE GARAGE DOOR -THE DOOR IS MINE, YOU CAN’T EVEN DRIVE YET

OMG LITERALLY STOP. I LEARNED MY LESSON, I’M NEVER MAKING YOU INTERACT AGAIN

Once again, I’m crawling back to Lakshmi! Finally she has returned to us! As you might recall I had to deal with her understudy, Margaret, and frankly she was better than Lak at her job but it just wasn’t the same. Lakshmi and I have HISTORY. We have a deep, dark, beautiful relationship-

-I’m not giving you a discount. 

UGH FINE. Take 5k of our last money (I forgot to mention the new house somehow cost 500K, we legit have like 20k left)-

-and hit us with your best shot!

-Oh, I will! 

Ok but you’ve said that before and I’m still not over the time I paid you 5k for June and you gave us iVan. 

-No, this time I mean it! The path is clear! 

The ‘path is clear’?? The path for FELINA’S love life is clearer than it was for June the literal model-hot genius???

-Indeed!

I gotta say, Lakshmi, your mouth better not be writing checks your crystal ball can’t cash.

-It is not, I promise! 

Alright, I’m waiting, do it to us-

OH

MY

GOD

IT’S MEADOW

THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS THIS IS ALREADY HILARIOUS. LAKSHMI YOU ARE FORGIVEN FOR ALL THE SHIT YOU’VE EVER PULLED ON ME

Bro this pairing is KILLING ME. Like I get it on paper since they’re both family sims and I guess their chemistry panels and zodiacs must insanely match too, but I thought Felina would get with someone like idk. Gvaudoin? Alegra Gorey? Klara Vonderstein? Maybe the Diva or a vamp NPC? Like you know what I mean, someone that makes sense with the whole dark queen powerful dynasty blabla she has going on. But no, she’s gonna start this house Lannister bs her LTW is about with.. MEADOW THAYER. I love it so much, Felina please don’t ruin this for us!

FELINA WTF DID I JUST SAY

-Sorry, but I don’t know you well enough to accept you touching my shoulder, huhu!🌞

-But if you want to tickle me again, that’s somehow more acceptable to me despite it involving way more touching!🌞

Alright, as I suspected, not a lot going on upstairs with dear Meadow, but it’s ok, I’m just glad to have a huhuing sim around again, Cyn is like 80yo :(

Ah, the tickling of love! Good job, Fel, now we can work our way up to flirting-

-Or I can just not be a turbocuck AND GO FOR IT

Man, the Sophie genes kicked in! Good for you, Fel!

Backyard karaoke time! Seriously what song could these two possibly BOTH like, please comment or msg me your guesses. 

So at this point I’m already 100% sold on Meadow as a spouse as I don’t think it’s humanly possible to come up with a funnier pairing than what fate dropped in my lap, but I’d also like to point out that Felina is so into Meadow that she’s already rolling fears of falling out of love with her, despite not even BEING IN LOVE WITH HER YET. Family sims are a fucking trip. 

CUTE. Alright Felina, you’re set, we got it in one, semi-incest avoided, yay us. Now I’m gonna leave you to your dream date and focus on Barth-

-who is gambling by himself. Guess I don’t need to ask who’s drunk again!

-That’s one safe bet, haha! 

Good Lord. Alright, get up, let’s find you someone while Lakshmi is still here, I’m sure our amazing luck will continue-

-OH FUCK IT’S TIAVE TEENS, HE HAS THE DON BROKEN FACE THING. ABORT ABORT

Oh good there’s nothing to abort, because it turns out Bartholomew is a COMPLETE FAILURE OF A ROMANCE SIM. Observe and keep in mind THEY HAVE 3 BOLTS:

-LALALA LALALA NOT LISTENING TO YOU INSULT MY SPATULA, FUCK OFF

LOL NO @ THE NOOGIES RETURN. FUCK. So clearly Felina has grandma Sophie’s chadly genes and Bartholomew has grandma Shajar’s noogiesexuality, except he’s a romance sim with a 20 woohoo LTW. College with this guy is gonna be UNBEARABLE. 

Alright, Barth, let’s try this again, don’t be discouraged! Ignore our lack of cash!

Ignore that Felina got it right on the first try and is still on her endless dream date!

PATRICK TEENS?! LMAO. Bartholomew is so committed to going through family trees, like if it’s not gonna be his own it’s gonna be SOMEONE’S, he doesn’t care! Unlike Don-clone Tiave, Patrick is cute tho, let’s give it a try-

-Ya, let me stop you right there, buddy, not into it but best of luck in your future endeavors!

Bruh. Let’s extremely call it a night, Barth.

-Oh hi, huhu!🌸 -Hi hi, huhu!🌞 -I feel like I know you?💗

Ya Cyn, if I didn’t have photographic proof that it’s not true I’d legit think she’s your long lost daughter. Man ACTUALLY how much sense does it make that like people tend to seek out partners that remind them of their parents and Cyn was always such a maternal influence on Felina??? Holy hell this game has so many layers. 

Clearly inspired by seeing her younger self in Meadow, Cyn finally finds it in her to woohoo again after Don’s passing! It’s legitimately crazy to me how loyal she was to him in death, like I can’t get over it, she never extended that courtesy to him while he was alive!

-𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚃𝙰𝚁𝚃 𝙼𝚈 𝙵𝙸𝚁𝙴.𝙴𝚇𝙴

It’s ok, Barth, you sleep off the romantic flopping and that tray of whiskeys and we’ll try again tomorrow.

-Ya, make sure to call us over when he ‘tries again tomorrow’ cause we don’t wanna miss it HAHA -HAHAHA boy did I screw him over by passing down my personality points! -You sure did, my little turbocuck! Let’s sleep in the same bed tonight, I can’t get into this one anyway with this flop sleeping there! -That’s what everyone is gonna be saying to him in college HAHAHA -HAHAHAHA oh Shaj, I love you, let’s work on our marriage! -I love you too, we’ll overcome our issues!

Awww, see Barth? Love wins❤️

[lucky-bucky-boy]

Arrogance Incarnate

Pairing: Loki x Reader

Summary: Loki and you don’t get along, at all. It’s infuriating and frustrating, except in the few moments where it’s pure bliss.  Inspired by @lokisgoodgirl series Hostile F*cks that I stumbled upon a few days ago.

Word Count: 2859

Warnings: Slight angst, smut, dom/sub elements, angry fuck, pet names, open-ended ending

A/N: This post does not have any of my taglist added as my taglist is now 2 years outdated. I hope you all enjoy this piece as I certainly enjoyed writing again. Let me know what y’all think!

This is set as if everything is happy and okay, everyone lives in the compound together. Also, inspired by @lokisgoodgirl​ Hostile F*cks series that I stumbled upon the other day!

I do not own these characters. Do NOT repost my writing and/or fics anywhere without my written permission. Reblogs are welcomed and highly appreciated!

No one really comprehended how it got like this, some days it was better not to ask and just ignore it. It didn't start out this way, quite the opposite as a matter of fact; all warm welcomes and soft smiles inevitably turned into agitated sighs and annoyed eye rolls. 

You couldn't help it though. He had become absolutely infuriating; too sure of himself, too cocky, too arrogant… Too Loki. 

Nat sat beside you at the kitchen island, finishing up her food as the time neared for her to leave. Majority of the team had been assigned a mission, they wouldn't be gone for long - only 2 or 3 days - but it required a lot of manpower to assure no one got hurt. You'd been on the last few big missions so Tony let you sit this one out, figuring you'd enjoy some peace and quiet.  

But peace and quiet was the last thing you would get. Since this mission requires the most finesse, the assurance that no one would make an abrupt move, that no one would steer away from the plan, Loki had also been chosen to sit this one out. 

"I really hope you guys get back sooner rather than later," you huffed, picking at the last bit of the fruit in your bowl. 

Nat chuckled softly, shaking her head at your complaints, "Try not to kill each other while we're gone. Spiderboy is hanging back too if you need someone to occupy you."

You rolled your eyes, standing up to clean up your dishes and taking hers with you, "Peter is an MIT student, has to travel between here and Boston every 4 weeks, has a girlfriend, is working on suit upgrades, and has friends in the city he hasn't seen in months. I doubt I'm the first person on his list of people to 'occupy'."

Nat followed you, rubbing her hand along your back as you stood at the sink cleaning the dishes. "Well, take yourself out, or have a movie night. Maybe rearrange your room like you've been talking bout. Or find a good lay." She teased at the end. 

You shook your head, turning the water off and shaking your hands of the water, "Yeah yeah, I know. But I'd rather spend my time sitting in the same room as you, playing on my switch, and bitching about the same shit over and over. But I'll live. You, however, need to get going before Steve decides to come searching for you."

She sighed, an apologetic look spreading across her features. "I know. But, we're still on for that brunch and spa spot next week. I'll text you updates, okay?" 

You nodded, watching as she turned and made her way to the meeting room for debriefing. 

This was going to be a long few days. 

You started making your way to your room, intending to grab a book then head out to sit by the pool. But you didn't make it far, hearing Thor's booming voice echoing off the walls. You stopped, hating yourself immediately for being interested in the conversation, but nonetheless you stayed out of sight. 

"Be nice to her, brother. She was the only one kind to you when we arrived. Surely, you must appreciate that enough to think about your actions."

Loki's sigh was sharp and loud, "For the last time, Thor, how I treat our fellow colleagues," there was a tinge of disgust in his voice that turned your face sour at hearing it, "has very little to do with you. Besides, this back and forth between (Y/N) was started by her. For being the one who was kindest to me, she's the only one now who is constantly irritated by my very presence."

It was true. You hated to admit it, but every word was true. Shaking your head, you kept moving, trying you best to make it seem like you hadn't been listening in. 

When Thor and Loki had decided to make Asgard their new home, things were rough. Loki's history with Earth made it so that S.H.I.E.L.D required them to live with the Avengers for two years. Any trips he made outside the compound had to be supervised for the first 6 months, then slowly he could gain trust. 

Their arrival was almost a year ago. You had heard the many stories of Loki, mostly bad with Thor sprinkling in some good. It became glaringly obvious to you that something had to be happening at the time the others had met him, that pieces of information were missing for you to understand fully why Loki attacked New York. Sure, you didn't want to immediately dismiss the concerns, but you wanted him to feel like he had someone there who didn't hate him. 

And it did begin that way, a friendly introduction, showing him books, introducing him to movies and songs. There were countless times in the beginning where Loki and you were almost inseparable. 

Then the missions started, and irritation started. He was too brazen, making bold moves without discussion. More than once he had put you in a predicament where you could have gotten hurt. There was this one mission in particular, you were undercover in a club trying to collect information, Loki was your watch - the person you had been talking to had gotten a little too close, nothing you weren't expecting, but Loki apparently felt it was too much. The two of you had to rush out after Loki left the guy with a broken nose. 

Sure, it became frustrating to work on missions with him, but it didn't become bad at home until after he was able to leave the compound on his own. 

One night, admittedly after too many glasses of wine, you had made your way to Loki's room with the full intention of trying to flirt your way into a date with him. He was tall, stunningly gorgeous, playful, and caring. You had spent a lot of time with him, movie nights that kept you up late, stories being passed back and forth. But just as you were about to knock on his door, there was a loud, high pitched, nasally moan of his name. It was a voice you didn't recognize, your blood running instantly cold as your hand hovered over the door.

It was that moment that things turned bad. You had made an backhanded remark the next day, and Loki being Loki reciprocated. Every day another verbal dagger thrown until the two of you couldn't be in the same room together. 

Tony had even put you two on an easy mission together, hoping that somehow you two would have it out and things would improve, but that didn't work. It just made things worse. 

You did have it out though. The first times of many you would truly have it out with Loki. No one had noticed or caught on, not that either of you were aware of. You truly couldn't stand him anymore unless he was seated to the hilt in you, or if his piercing eyes were darkening between your thighs, or his hands roaming every inch of your body. 

How would anyone catch on? Outside of your bedroom, the two of you barely even spared a glance to each other and the ones you did were out of sheer agitation. No lingering words or flirty smiles. And the only time you found him in your bed was after weeks of build up from bickering and arguing. 

You closed your door behind you, sighing deeply to try to put your roaming thoughts at bay. This was truly going to be a long few days. 

The weather couldn't have been better, but the moment you stepped outside the desire to be anywhere but on a bed or couch went out the door. You stood there for a moment, taking in the warmth of the sunshine and the soft breeze of air that allowed a reprieve from the heat. The jets of the teams leaving soared overhead. With yet another sigh you turned on your heels, heading back inside. 

Opting to head back to your room, you passed the living quarters again where Loki had taken home for the day. Your footsteps passing brought his attention from the book in his hands, watching with slight amusement as you moved through the compound. 

"Having troubles making up your mind?" He called to you. 

Another huff and roll of the eyes, but you kept moving, ignoring the God's taunt. 

You hadn't been in your room long before the door flew open, startling you. Loki stood there, annoyance written on his face. "No one else is here, so must you continue to pretend to hate me to my core?"

Words left you, unsure of what to say or how to feel. This was bold of him, he'd hadn't come to your room without warning before, and truly you did expect to just ignore each others existence for the next few days. 

"I asked you a question." He let himself in, shutting the door behind him as he stalked his way to stand above you at the end of the bed. 

"Pretend?" You asked, voice soft and throat dried. You hated the effect he could have on you - the smell of him, of leather, musk, and mint overwhelming your senses. 

"Are you saying you're not pretending?" His eyebrows were raised. 

You huffed, rising from your sitting position to your knees. "Loki, I can assure you, that pretending would be much less exhausting."

"Darling, don't act like there isn't a part of you that wants me." You swallowed hard, staring up at him. Of course you wanted him, you wanted him in more ways than you would admit. Loki stared back, "If you're not pretending, then why do you hate me?" His voice was almost teasing. 

"You're arrogant. You're arrogant to the point that you are blinded by it." You stated.

"That's it? Did the little pet get her feelings hurt by something I said? Or was it something I did?" He teased, punctuating the end of his sentence by carding his hands through your hair and tugging tightly. 

"I am the God of Mischief after all, darling. You truly didn't think that I wouldn't be a little unhinged, did you?" He tugged your hair back, forcing a gasp out of you as he started to move you to a lying position, him hovering over top of you, "We both know there's a part of you that still loves it. If you didn't, you wouldn't have your legs wrapped around my waist right now, you wouldn't moan my name so wantonly, you wouldn't even let me anywhere near your pretty little pussy." 

Loki used his leverage of his hand in your hair to turn your head, kissing at the sensitive skin of your neck. "Admit it," he said between kisses, "admit you want me, darling."

A chill ran down your spine. You hated it, the second he was on top of you, you had instinctively wrapped your legs around his waist, your hands now carding in his hair. You were already getting wet, trying your best to hold back any whines or moans. 

Loki didn't like you ignoring him. He bit down on the junction between your neck and shoulder, sucking hard and undoubtedly leaving a mark. He pulled back, "if you want me to satisfy you, you need to admit it."

His hand left your hair, both of them moving to roam across your body. The moved under your shift, cold fingers causing goosebumps to spread across your skin. He didn't say anything as he continued on, hands moving to cups your breasts, thumbs rubbing over your nipples through the fabric of your bra. 

He was going to tease until you admitted it. Loki's hips rocked slowly against you, relishing in listening to you whine and whimper, your own hips trying to run against him, your core getting hot with need. His lips continued their assault on your neck, careful not to leave any marks too high up. 

Suddenly, your shirt was gone, Loki using it magic to take it off. His mouth move to your shoulder, leaving an array of purple and blue there, making his way further down and nipping at the top of your chest. 

"Please," you whined, pulling at his hair, "Please Loki."

He chuckled against your skin, hands snaking behind you to undo your bra, taking notice of the goosebumps thay spread across your skin from the feel of his hands on you. "Admit you want it. You know what you have to say."

You whined, squirming as he pulled up some to discard your bra. Immediately, his mouth attached to your nipple, flicking and sucking the sensitive bud as his hand moved to toy with the other one. He switched back and forth, your moans like music to his ears. 

Moans were spewing out of you, hips rutting harder and fast. "Damn it, Loki, stop the teasing and just fuck me if that's what you came in here to do." You managed to choke out. 

Loki pulled away from your chest, both hands playing with your nipples now. "I came here to teach you a lesson. Now, admit you want it." 

"I want it," you finally blurted out, feeling like you were going crazy with need. "I want you, Loki. Please just fuck me."

"Good girl," suddenly, all of your clothes were gone. He sat back on his legs, looking down at you for a few moments. "Heavens, you're still just as ravishing to look at."

His were gone now as well and he leaned back down, capturing your lips in his. It happened so quickly, him moving your calves to his shoulders, lining his cock up with your core, pushing in slowly as your lips moved against each other feverishly. 

Loki pushed himself all the way in, staying still once he was fully seated, watching the look of ecstasy on your face, eyes screwed shut and mouth slightly agape. It was a look he would never get tired of. 

He waited until you looked up at him to pull out and shove himself back in, setting a pace that rattled you inside out. He moved one of your legs down to his waist, angling his hips and moving a hand to rub your clit. 

Loud moans fell from you, echoing off the walls and sounding like songs in his ears. He kept at it, feeling your walls spasm, watching you feeling at him. 

A wave of confidence ran through you, moving your other leg back down to his waist, you sat up as best as you could, carding a hand through his hair and pulling him back down to kiss him. You move your lips to his neck, making sure his would match yours in color. Hands moving along his lean body. 

Pressure began to build, his relentless pursuit of both your high starting to become successful. Your free hand moved to his back, scratching against the pale expanse of skin and leaving bright red marks in your wake. 

Suddenly, a hand was gripping your chin, forcing you to look him in the eye, "you're being so good for me for someone who hates me." A chill ran up your spine, the pressure in your core ready to flood and take over, "I can feel you squeezing my cock, cum for me, darling. Be my good girl and cum for me."

Between his blissfully sinful words and the rutting of his hips against yours, you toppled over the edge, immediately securing your mouth to his shoulder and biting down to muffle your loud moans. The pain spurred him on, his thrusts becoming erratic as he neared his own high. Loki came, painting your insides white as he collapsed on top of you, careful not to crush you too much with his weight as he took deep breaths, both of your hearts racing. 

There was a pleasant quiet that fell between the two of you, something that hadn't happened before. It was always finished and get gone as quickly as possible, but this time he laid there for a couple of minutes, both of you taking in the bliss of not being at each other's throat. 

Loki inevitably pulled out of you, taking the time to get up and get a rag from your connected bathroom. He brought it over, slightly damp, wiping the dried saliva from his own neck before handing it to you so you could clean yourself up some. As you did, he grabbed his clothes instead of using his magic to put them back on. 

Loki slipped his pants on, holding the rest of his clothes in his hand as he made his way to the door. With his hand on the knob, he turned to look at you, an almost tired expression on his face.

"When you have decided you're done pretending to hate me, let me know." And with that he walked out, leaving you there to contemplate your every emotion.

[eris-snow]

Deku's birthday series Q n A!

This will most likely be my last post pertaining to the Deku's birthday series for awhile. I'm sorry it came out late! 😭

There are some behind-the-scenes screenshots over on my Instagram if anyone wants to see, so go visit my post after you’re done reading this! https://www.instagram.com/eris.snow/

---

Katsuki, slamming the door open: ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

Now, I have no idea what you’re—

Katsuki: NO! YOU HAVE EVERY IDEA WHAT YOU’RE DOING. HOW DARE YOU, LEAVE ME WITH THE NERD AND HIS FUCK-ASS MEMORIES. FREAKING. FUCK. YOU!

Come on, it can’t be that bad—

Katsuki: JUST SUCK FACE WITH HIM ALREADY

No.

Katsuki: I will kill you and make it look like an accident, come here you—

---

Hey I’ve always wanted to do one of these.

---

Question: Is there going to be a part 3? Deku birthday series

Ans: Yes, there’s going to be a part 3, and it will be the last part of this Izuku trilogy of Deku’s birthday series! (Because I’m unwilling to milk this more than necessary)

Question: Why the ending? (Aka, why did you write another cliffhanger ending that’s so unsatisfactory) -Revelation

Ans:

The answer to that is that I felt it was a little unfair to have Izuku have Starlight handed to him on a silver platter. Frankly, I want to see him work for Starlight, because she’s worth it, and we haven’t really seen that. Also, angst.

Question: What can we expect in the next part?

Ans:

Definitely more flashbacks from Izuku’s point of view. Also, it will be a happy ending, confirmed. I think it’ll be a little irritating to see things go nowhere if I make a part 4. I really don’t like dragging things out longer than necessary, but the next part should be more Izuku-centric. Plus, there are a bunch of scenes I wanna write that are now unlocked because Izuku remembers, so stay tuned for that!

Question: How did you come up with the story’s narrative? -Secret

Ans:

Honestly, I have no idea. As I was writing the first two chapters, I was bouncing ideas off with one of my loved ones, and it just clicked. I did a little reshuffling, and then ironed out a cohesive storyline. Secret came at like a odd spot of, should I write a birthday series for him, because I did it for bakugou. On Tumblr, it was a lot more popular than I thought it would ever be, and Secret struck a gold mine with my AO3 audience.

Question: Do you relate to Starlight (Y/n)?

Answer: In some ways, yes. Sometimes, you’re afraid to let go of pain when that’s all you’ve ever known, and I wanted to show that. After all, Izuku and Y/n are teenagers. They have no idea what they’re doing, just working with bits and pieces. Kinda like how sometimes, we have no idea what we’re doing at whatever age we’re at. Also Starlight’s internal debate of whether to accept the offer of removing one of her feelings, and dissociating herself. Sometimes, cutting of feelings seem better, especially when you need to steel yourself. But no one should ever cut their feelings of entirely.

Question: What’s next in terms of your content?

Answer:

Er, a lot. First, I need to finish Anachronism and Juxtaposition, because I’ve been delaying doing that. And request, oh, gosh I’m so sorry to anybody who put in a request recently. But, I’ve still got lots of ideas I want to put out! Thank you for supporting me, and I hope that you’ll enjoy my other series! If you have any suggestions on what my long fic should be about, you can ask me on Tumblr or Dm me on Instagram at eris.snow!

Question: What’s next for Deku’s birthday series?

Answer:

Err, I really want to do an audio adaptation of this (Something like a CD drama), because I’ve had offers from really nice people to turn my story into something like an audiobook. I don’t think that’ll be really good for my work, so I kinda want to turn my story into a script and pull strings together to make it into a CD drama, ASMR roleplay, honestly idk what to call it.

Still working it out though! If you want updates or to ask for more questions about that, you can find me at eris.snow on Instagram and tumblr (I post more on Tumblr, like the freak I am). Looking for VAs interested to voice these people, so if anyone wants look forward to a post coming out somewhere in November ish that will release more details!

It’s going to be my first time doing something like that, so if anyone has any pointers, please tell me, I need all the help I can get 😭

PS: This is only tentative. I’ve expressed interest in doing it, but nothing is set in stone yet! However, if there are people interested in this idea, then I’ll definitely take it into consideration whether or not this will, or will not happen!

---

That’s all I want to address. Hope this clears things up for everyone!

[lunathewafflelord]

Lately I’ve been having a lot of dreams about JumpStart, which are very similar to the dreams I had during the time period between when Toontown had announced it was shutting down and before Rewritten became a thing.

In the dreams I’m playing the game after it shut down, it being a private server just for me, nobody else there, maybe a few glitched players, and the place feels slightly barren but it’s still how I remembered it. Then the world slowly starts falling apart, glitching more and more, before I’m kicked out.

I get many variations of this dream and they’re very nice dreams to have, being able to relive my memories of the game, but they’re also very sad at the same time.

I heard that there’s a fan server in development, and I’m definitely looking forward to it, but even with the fan server nothing can replace the character I spent a decade playing as. I had lifetime membership. I had 100%ed MarineLand, something that I haven’t seen any other players do (let me know if you’ve done this, I want to know how many other people got the exclusive shirt!). I had many Mythies which I loved very much and would draw and write stories about, I even had my very first Mythie SilverDiamond on my birthday cake one year.

I am just very sad that I never really got to say goodbye to the game, unlike with Toontown where I knew it was closing a month or so in advance. With Jumpstart, I had just gone to log in one day and found out it shut down. I had my suspicions it was going to shut down soon, not as many people played after the infamous Jumpee redesign. After a while the updates ended up ruining the game, first the player character redesign and then the dreaded update to raising Mythies. One of the last major updates before it shut down.

Will the fan server have the older version of the Enchanted Sanctuary, or will it have the crappy redesigned version? Will there be an option to have the original Jumpeez or will it just be the redesigned version? (If they manage to include both versions of the characters, I bet all of my jellybeans that 99.99% of the player base will choose the original)

I’m not sure what really is the point of this post, but I really wanted to just talk about how I’ve been feeling lately. Jumpstart was such an important part of my childhood, that losing it is almost WORSE than when I lost Toontown. Hard to believe that JS lasted more than twice as long as the original TTO! Perhaps when the fan server releases I’ll have new memories of the beloved game, and it might become even better than the original just like Toontown fan servers are.

While it’s sad that Jumpstart Online is gone, I’m looking forward to seeing what the fans will bring :)

[lizisshortforlizard]

Living Dangerously - Chapter 36

Jurassic Park’s animal handlers: none of them ever mentioned by name in Michael Crichton’s original novel. Who were they? What were their lives like on Isla Nublar? Did any of them survive the disaster?

A year in the life of those responsible for the care of the dinosaurs. Many people would kill to have their jobs.

But would they die for it?

Jurassic Park novel/Jurassic Park film (1993)

Viewpoint: 3rd person female oc

Warnings: swears, one brief description of gore

Tagging: @heresthefanfiction @ocappreciation @wordspin-shares @howlingmadlady @arrthurpendragon @themaradwrites @starryeyes2000 @kmc1989 (please lmk if you would like informed of my sporadic updates)

Read on Ao3

Chapter 35 | Chapter 37

20th Century Boy - T. Rex

“They’ll be fine-” Richardson simply brushed off any and all concerns the Carnivores team presented of how to integrate the seven juvenile raptors with the much larger version. “…overthinking this.”

“Will not be fine.” Muldoon insisted. “Not with her.” 

“You worry too much.” The portly man fielded. 

“They are completely different animals from 2308, you may as well stick them in with the damn Rex.” The game warden complained. “I fancy their chances better.”

“Could we…?“ Richardson actually seemed to be entertaining the idea.

“No.” Kathy and Muldoon said in one voice, looking equally horrified. 

“As far as terrible ideas go, you’ve excelled yourself.” Lizzy murmured.

The Animal Supervisor scowled in her direction. “Rubbish, they’ll just avoid each other.” “It’s alright to have more than one apex predator in a game reserve.” Muldoon explained very slowly, as if he were talking to a pre-schooler. “But the paddock is the equivalent of a goldfish pond. You can’t cram a barracuda and a shark in a pond together and expect things to just work out.”

“Fine. But I’m telling you, they’ll either avoid each other or sort it out amongst themselves.”

“There’s several million dollars worth of animal at risk if they sort it out themselves.” The game warden was losing his patience. “Who do you think InGen will blame if it goes horribly wrong?”

”Whoever’s in charge of Carnivores.” Richardson gestured at him. “Therefore it’s not really my problem, is it?”

“Best leave this to the experts then, eh?” Muldoon, astoundingly, managed to reply without sarcasm. It was his polite way of saying ‘bugger off’. 

Richardson finally got the hint and swanned out of the office after a cursory nod to Tom, who merely raised an eyebrow. The animal handlers watched him exit with relief. 

“Doesn’t change the fact that after thirty years working directly with wildlife, I’m actually a bit stumped.” Muldoon admitted. “And I’m already in the bad books with Hammond.”

Lizzy remembered. His threat of leaving and going to the press had not been well received. 

”It’ll be alright. I’ve known that man nearly as long.” He must have noticed the worried look on her face. “He does this sort of thing rather a lot.”

“Guess I’m not too used to hanging around with millionaires.” “Armstrong, you are getting on my nerves today.” The game warden announced, then without changing tone, followed with: “Can I borrow you for a bit?”

“Oh, look how that worked out.” Kathy muttered in mock-surprise.

Tom blinked. ”I don’t get it.”

I’ll explain later Kathy muttered to him. 

“Where are you going?” Lizzy asked Muldoon, who already was in the process of leaving. 

“Hammond’s bungalow.” He held up a hand when she automatically went to follow him. “Had an idea. I’ll be back.”

”Can I-“

“Won’t be long.” He stopped her again, lowering his voice this time. “Armstrong, I’m fed up of Richardson, don’t give him an excuse.”

Lizzy’s eyes flicked to Tom, who was also preparing to leave the room with Kathy. 

Her former arch-rival had kept his word, for now. She had to trust him, and he was yet to let her down.  

He hadn’t told anyone he’d seen her leaving a certain game warden’s room early one morning. And if he’d told Kathy, she didn’t show it. 

As if he’d read her mind, Tom glanced back over his shoulder while Kathy wasn’t looking and winked at her.

***

“What’s all this?” Lizzy’s expression was barely visible as she peered over a stack of books Muldoon had unceremoniously dropped on his desk in front of her.  

”You’ll remember that Hammond owns a game reserve in Kenya. It’s very important to dress for the occasion.”

She took a closer look at the lettering on the pristine spines. It felt like her game warden had lifted every title that had anything remotely to do with wildlife management. 

“Jeez, they haven’t been opened, ever.” Lizzy exclaimed, the book in her hands creaking as she opened it gently, the pages still crisp,  though starting to wilt from the constant moisture in the air. They’d be yellowed soon enough. “And they’re all first editions.”

Muldoon cracked the spine on his book a little more forcefully. “S’good, isn’t it? Books he’ll never read, in a house he doesn’t live in.” “Why me?” Lizzy wondered aloud. “Payback for something?”

”You know how to research properly, and you’re the fastest reader.” He said simply. “In other words, reliably focused.You honestly think Kennedy has the attention span for something like this?”

“Good point.” She noted with pride he had placed her own thesis amongst the reading material in front of her. “I think Kathy and Tom are…busy, anyway.”

He looked up sharply. “That’s still going on?” 

She smiled at his response. Muldoon never could deny how protective he was of his Team Leader. 

“Getting kind of serious, possibly…” She turned the end of the sentence into an unintelligible grumble. It was still monumentally weird for Lizzy. She would never have put money on her remaining teammates ending up a couple. Not that she hated it, just that it put her slightly on edge, being a third wheel. Things had changed, and she wasn’t sure it was for the better, at least not yet.

Damn. Was that how everyone else felt around her?

“-Hey, isn’t it your day off tomorrow?” She wanted to talk about something else. “We might be here for a while.”

“No such thing anymore.” He pointed out. “Never made use of them anyway.”

True enough. Day off or not, Muldoon was usually always up at the arse crack of dawn, doing god-knew-what in the far reaches of the island, and would often only reappear at sundown.

Lizzy had asked once or twice where he went but he’d given a vague answer followed by a pressing excuse to be somewhere else. 

His business. As long as he wasn’t drinking, she’d have to be content with not knowing. But it buzzed in the back of her mind like an angry hornet. 

“Anyway, this isn’t exactly terrible.” He added, turning a page. “You’re here.”

Lizzy focused even harder on the sentence she was currently reading to keep the idiotic grin that was brewing under wraps. 

They continued in mostly silence for a while, interspersed with several passionate - relatively, for Muldoon - discussions about enclosure design.  Lizzy finally let loose her smile, a year ago she would never have thought she’d be in the same part of the world as Robert Muldoon, never mind the same office, discussing his specialist subject. 

It didn’t change the fact they were still facing a dead end. 

“Do I need to call Sarah again?” Lizzy threatened eventually.

“Don’t you touch that bloody phone!” Muldoon snapped yet another book shut and tossed it back on his desk. “We’ll have no distress signals to Africa this time, thank you very much.”

“Gennaro calls the consultants in Montana with the real-life things.” She complained. “All the time. I have their books, too. What they eat-“

“And what do they know, Lizzy?” He cut in. “The dinosaurs they study are dead and gone. We have living articles here, on the island. Let’s face it, nobody on this Earth knows those animals better than you and I do.”

“Better than Richardson does, anyway…” She muttered viciously.

“We have a problem we need to solve, let’s buckle down.”

Just then Kathy walked past the open door, paused and shook her head, pursing her lips as she made eye contact with the ethologist. It was obvious she disapproved of something.

Kathy was all dolled up. She was effortlessly beautiful day-to-day, even covered in mud and wiping sweat from her brow after a tough shift, but she had really knocked it out of the park. 

“You look-“ Lizzy called, but Kathy was already gone. She sighed. “Amazing.”

Their friendship had a slightly tense edge recently. On the surface the two women were carrying on just fine, but Lizzy felt the tug of the undercurrent every time they spoke. Something wasn’t quite right. Kathy was still leaving the island soon, and besides, she had Tom now. She didn’t need Lizzy like she did during the early days, where it felt like the two of them against the world. 

Muldoon was right, maybe this wasn’t so bad. 

As if to prove a point, his next words came as a complete surprise. “Do you know, you’re very beautiful when you’re concentrating?”

“Hm?” Lizzy made a distracted noise, trying hard to re-focus on the pages in front of her. 

“Longest you’ve ever stayed quiet for.” He continued. “Bloody lovely.”

She raised her book higher to hide how fixated she was on chewing her lip.  Pleased at the results, Muldoon reached for Lizzy’s thesis next, just in case there was something, anything he’d missed the first three times. He made the mistake of glancing at the dedication on the inside page to her almost-husband and the words were burned on his brain before he could do anything about it. 

Why did it still pain him so terribly? They were broken up, had been for months. 

And yet, the words didn’t even sound like her. To my darling Simon. He could barely imagine her saying such a thing without sarcasm evident, it just wasn’t Lizzy.

Not his Lizzy, at any rate.

It was ruined. Muldoon was no longer thinking about the task at hand, this was going to gnaw at him for hours, days. He closed the thesis without reading any further. “You agree, we’re off the clock?”

Lizzy nodded, haltingly, as she continued to trace her finger along the lines of text. She was hoping against hope he wasn’t about to suggest they call it a night. Looming, terrible deadline aside, she was in her element, pushing exhaustion aside and speed-reading chapter after chapter.  “I want to ask you something.” He hesitated. “Not as a colleague.”

Uh-oh.

This wasn’t what we agreed.

But Lizzy was drawn in.

”Shoot.”

“You went back to the States often?” He held up her work so she could see. “While you were writing this?”

“At first.” Lizzy paused her scanning and tried to remember her university days, wondering what Muldoon was getting at. It felt like another life, a completely different geological period. “Every couple months, for a week at a time…ish. Why?” ”Get much work done in those weeks?” 

”Loads.”

”Hm.” 

Good? Bad?

She waited for him to explain, but he had nothing further to add. “Uh, hello?”

”It’s fine.” He shrugged. “Just curious.”

”About what?”

”Doesn’t matter.”

Lizzy finally shut her book with a sigh and gave him the look over the frame of her glasses, raising her eyebrows. “If it didn’t matter then you wouldn’t have asked me. I’m not gonna let it go-oooo…-“

“Alright. How’d he ever leave you alone?” He fixed her with an equally intense stare. “That man of yours.”

“Leave me-? You’re serious?” That threw her. “I dunno…we’d been together a long time by that point.”

”That’s a piss-poor excuse.” He sat back, not satisfied with her answer. “The entire street should have known you were back in town. The entire damn borough.”

Lizzy did an excellent impression of a fire hydrant, she flushed such a deep shade at what he was implying.

“Not really his style.” She barely managed to croak out.

”Fucking his wife-to-be isn’t his style?”  Every trace of breath left her body and Lizzy just sat there, dumbfounded.  No, apparently it wasn’t his style. Hadn’t been. 

Simon would buy her things she would never wear, or had little use for in Africa. Jewellery, perfume, nice clothes. All of it still packed away in their apartment to that day, gathering dust. He was forever despairing she wasn’t above tying her hair back with a used shoelace before talking a walk around Central Park, passing the 5th Avenue shoppers who looked at her sun-bleached curls and loose-fitting clothes with disdain. She’d never cared. Simon had. 

She’d come from so little, it was just nice to have enough. Lizzy hadn’t wanted or needed extra. 

Why hadn’t she realised together forever probably wasn’t the best idea, the way things had been going? Why hadn’t she called it off sooner?

For God’s sake, why hadn’t he wanted her? Why hadn’t she been enough, as she was? Without tailoring to his idea of what she should be? 

“I…-“ Lizzy floundered. 

”Thought you looked nice, that’s all.”

”Stop doing that.” She abruptly ground out in a flash of anger. “Catching me off guard. It’s not fair.”

”I’m the last person you should be talking to about not fair.” Muldoon sounded infuriated too, though maybe not necessarily at her. “Not fair is knowing how we both feel and pretending this is enough. It’s not.”

She frowned at him in concern. What was going on? Had Rico’s accident also made him worried about things left unsaid? 

“Anyway, when’d you get so squeamish, Armstrong?” He smirked at her.

“I’m not.” Lizzy bristled. “Because…-“

“Because what?”

“Because if I was trying to wind you up, these books would be on the floor and this desk would be getting used for something else entirely.” She slammed her hand down flat to drive her point home. 

Muldoon paused before answering, and his words were extremely measured and even. 

“You’re probably right.”

The silence practically rang in their ears as they both glanced to the door, still ajar. 

Lizzy eventually cleared her throat and opened her book again. “But I can’t. Wind you up. Because we’re supposed to be behaving aren’t we? Anyway…who’s to say the raptors want to live in groups? In such a small paddock, it could turn into a turf war.”

”We, hm…-“ He shifted his weight. “We can’t do anything about that. There’s only one paddock big enough.”

“Can’t we generalise and say herbivores are social, carnivores are solitary?”

”No.” He said gravely, looking at her as if she’d just insulted his family name. “Koala, giant panda, moose, leopard-“

“Alright then, Field Guide-“

“Lions, wolves, killer whales…” Muldoon was still listing species, paying her no heed. 

“Okay, okay, but if they hunt alone here then they probably won’t die!” Lizzy slumped back in defeat and frustration. “They can’t possibly starve, we plonk their food right in front of them!”

“Hm, hunting…” Muldoon visibly brightened. “You could be on to something there, Armstrong.”

“Why do I feel I won’t like this?”

“Maybe…we feed her early in the day, before they arrive.” He explained, the plan still taking shape. “Make her slower, the bottomless pit that she is. She’s like Kennedy in the morning, set your alarm early if you want eggs, you’ve got no chance after he’s been in the canteen-“

“Feed her, and…” Lizzy redirected masterfully. “Good start. You know how to treat a woman.”

“Then we dart her while she’s resting, and when she comes to, the younger animals scent is all over her patch.”

“And she just…accepts them?” “We can gauge her reaction and intervene if necessary while she’s still coming around.” He shrugged. “Hopefully she won’t be too hopping mad.”

”What if they group up and attack her while she’s drowsy?”

”I’ll look after her. Don’t you worry.”

She paused. “How does hunting come into this?”

”I’m going to let you get close. Very close.”

Lizzy mouth twitched at his choice of the words let you. As if she hadn’t been sneaking ever closer to the fence for weeks.

But not recently she reminded herself. 

”Because I’m hoping she’ll dislike your presence more than that of the other raptors.” Muldoon explained. “It’s not unusual to bond over a common enemy. Same goes for animals.”

“I’m the distraction.” Lizzy understood. “Got it.”

“Aren’t you just.” He agreed. “Good work tonight, Armstrong.”

“Hey-“ She caught his attention as they were tidying up. “How long has it been?”

“Long enough.” He knew what she was referring to. “I haven’t, if that’s what you’re asking. Not once. Though I’ve been awfully tempted lately.”

“Is it any easier?”

”No. But it’s a conscious choice I make. You, or…that.” He shrugged. “Simple, really.”

”I know.” Lizzy said simply. “Thank you.”

“No need for thanks…” He tailed off, muttering something else as he turned away that sounded a lot like you utter pain in the arse.

Lizzy’s shoulder ached, but she didn’t care. 

***

The plan was off to a bad start. The raptor shipment was delayed by rough seas, and now the shadows were growing long. Muldoon was getting increasingly twitchy, he was worried about losing the light. “That damn dock-“ He kept repeating. “It’s not good enough.”

Lori Ruso hadn’t accompanied the dinosaurs, but that didn’t surprise Lizzy at all. She’d done her part, they weren’t her animals anymore.

Kathy sidled into Muldoon’s field of vision as the container was manoeuvred towards the paddock gate. “Are you getting Lizzy a Valentine’s present?” She whispered.

“A what now?” Shamefully, it hadn’t ever crossed his mind. It hadn’t been a concern of his for many years. 

“Tom gave me this last night.” She proudly showed him the thin gold chain around her neck. The same one Kennedy usually always wore. “He remembered.”

”Hm.” He frowned, trying to think of a good response. “I let her have seven more of those ruddy animals, that’s all she’s getting for a very long time.”

”Ah, so you do like her!” Kathy retorted cheerfully, chuckling at the confused look Muldoon shot her way.

The park warden reminded Kathy of her dad, with the abandoned kitten she’d presented to him when she was a child, and she was moodily told one night only. Ten years later, the cat still curled up to sleep on her dad’s shoulder in front of the TV every single night. 

Here he is, with the eight lethal carnivores he said he didn’t want. They always come around.

The big raptor had already been darted, though too early in the day, before they knew the ship would be delayed. They couldn’t give her another dose, Harding advised, it could tip her over threshold. 

It was intended to be just enough to make her a bit wobbly, to lower her guard and make her less vigilant.

It seemed to have just made her more irritable. She kept on tossing her head and rumbling at the visitors lined up near the fence. 

“Am I doing it?” Tom was on top of the transport container, ready to man the gate. He looked around anxiously when he didn’t get an answer. “Uh, guys? This thing is really heavy.”

“Muldoon?” Kathy asked timidly. “We’re waiting for the go-ahead.”

When he didn’t answer, Lizzy couldn’t resist glancing his way.

He looked uncertain. If she knew him at all, he was no doubt running through every possible scenario in his head. What he’d do to get them out if she attacked. How far he’d go to protect them from 2308. If Hammond would consider it a personal debt owed this time and Muldoon would be making amends very slowly from his own funds with high interest. 

“If we were in Kenya, you know you’d just go for it.” Lizzy stepped forward and laid a hand on his arm. “Forget about the money situation. We trust you. Let’s try.”

Her words seemed to snap him out of his indecision. 

“Alright. Do it, Kennedy.” He called up to the Texan, who saluted and began to lift the gate. “Armstrong, you go over there and keep her busy.”

Nothing happened for a second, then the first juvenile raptor poked their head forward into their enclosure, scanning the environment. They didn’t seem fearful of their new cagemate at all. 

The younger, smaller animals were curious of the larger, chirping and moving forward in a group. They reminded Lizzy of guinea fowl, investigating something novel, the way their heads kept bobbing back and forth. There was nothing aggressive about their movements. 

“Armstrong?” 

“All good.” She signalled. “They’re coming out now.”

She heard a series of clicks as another tranquiliser dart was loaded. Over threshold or not, Muldoon was still prepared.

Lizzy had a good view, she was closer to the fence than she’d been in a long time. Far closer than she was comfortable with, to be perfectly honest.

“This isn’t right.” Kathy was watching beside the park warden, tense. “Thought you said 2308 would go for her.”

“I did.” The big raptor wasn’t hunting Armstrong. Watching her constantly, yes. Keeping her body between the human and the younger animals, stance defensive.

But not protecting her. 

It was almost as if it were-

…guarding her?  Armstrong was high value. Muldoon understood now, the way the raptor was prowling closer to Lizzy, claws tapping erractically. He knew what the dinosaur had to be thinking, because he often thought it too. 

This one’s mine.  That sent a chill through him. 

He really didn’t like the way more of the big raptor’s teeth were becoming visible as the juveniles pottered closer. Her pupils narrowed into slits as they flicked towards him, warning him off. 

“Armstrong, move away.”  “It’s okay.” She reassured. 

”It’s really not.” He tried not to sound too alarmed, but his heart was in his mouth. “Move. Carefully.”

Didn’t she realise that she was being sized up? 

He could almost see it playing out, a freak accident, the ground was spongy under her feet, if Armstrong was startled and slipped to within grabbing distance-

The raptor nearly had Regis, and she was miniscule then.  She got Esteves not so long ago. 

I shouldn’t have used her, this is just reinforcing behaviour we don’t want.

”Talk to me.” Lizzy, confused, turned her attention away from the raptor, spinning around so that she was side-on to the animal. Had he spotted something she hadn’t?

Christ, watch where you stand.

“Move a-“ He started to order.

The raptor slammed her entire weight into the fence next to Lizzy with juggernaut force, throwing off a shower of sparks and screeching in pain at the shock.

She was close enough to feel how hot her breath was, the saliva splattering her in the face, causing the white-hot sparks to sizzle on her skin as the dinosaur screamed loud enough to make her eardrums wobble at close range. 

Fuck! Lizzy froze, rooted to the spot, shrinking down in the face of death. Her raptor was even bigger now than only a few weeks ago. She was vicious. She was terrifying. 

And now 2308 associated Lizzy with the pain of a sizeable electric shock.

The big raptor vocalised, a sound Lizzy hadn’t ever heard her make. A low, rattling whistle. 

She did it again, and most of the smaller raptors charged the fence. They stopped short of the wire, hopping and snapping in her direction as well as at each other. 

”What the-“ Lizzy froze for a second time, frowning.

That’s not right.

“O-kay, time to go!” Next thing Lizzy knew she was flung upside-down over Tom’s shoulder and ended up closer to the back of his jeans than she’d care to be, at eye-level with his belt as he carried her to safety. “The things you’ll do to get a good look at my butt.”

“You wish.” She had the wits to retort despite her teeth chattering. “Nearly as hideous as your face.”

”No!” Kathy’s alarmed voice rang out. “Mike, stop!”

Tom dumped Lizzy right-side up with her feet in the jungle stream. 

“Ugh, idiot-“ The cool water flowed over the tops of her socks and into her boots as she brushed her hair out of her eyes to get a better look at the newest commotion. 

“The Hell are you playing at, dude?” Kennedy demanded. “Seriously?”

Richardson feigned innocence, a chunk of bloodied meat dangling in his hand. ”We’re feeding them extra, yes?”

The big raptor snatched up the first piece he’d lobbed over the fence and disappeared into the paddock’s undergrowth with a growl.

”Yes, but-“ Kathy rubbed her forehead, jostling her glasses out of place. “-not right now! Give it a sec-“

”Why?” The Animal Supervisor clearly thought they were being ridiculous. “It’s a distraction, no?”

“You just rewarded her for attacking Armstrong.” Muldoon was struggling to keep his voice even. “If that weren’t incredibly obvious.”

The implied you idiot was clear.

Kathy took a slow step back. She’d never seen her boss this angry. 

The smaller raptors chirped in chorus, and one-by-one, sprinted away, following the bigger animal out of sight.

The animal handlers stood still, nobody daring to blink, waiting to hear screams of terror as the young ones were inevitably torn to shreds. 

Nothing, only sounds. 

“See? It’s fine!” Richardson bemoaned loudly. “You were worrying over nothing. As usual.”

”No, it’s not fine.” Muldoon argued, clipping his words harshly. “But we can’t separate them now. Cover’s too thick to catch the youngsters, they can easily hide, and the light’s going.”

“I’m calling it-“ Tom added, trying to diffuse the tension. “-but dibs on not going in there with the big girl.”

”This enclosure is not ideal.” The game warden continued, paying him no attention. “If I’d been involved from the beginning-“

“For Christ’s sake, Robert! Enough complaining about the bleeding enclosure.” Richardson was also getting agitated. “We’re stuck with it now!”

”What do we do?” Kathy asked timidly.

”Pray to whichever God does it for you.” Muldoon shrugged. “Check back first thing in the morning. Christ. Are you alright?”

He turned back to Lizzy, voice hard but eyes betraying his concern. 

“Yeah.” She shoved her hands into her back pockets to conceal how much they were still shaking. “She’s just…a lot bigger than when I saw her last.” 

Bigger than me Lizzy thought nervously as she shuffled closer to Muldoon.

”In hindsight, probably shouldn’t have done that.” He admitted. “Involved you. She’s just taught the others a new trick.”

Attack her.

“I got it wrong.” Muldoon sighed resignedly. 

”We got it wrong.” Lizzy corrected. “Should have moved away when you told me. Thought I was getting through to her-“

”Shake you up a bit, Elizabeth?” Richardson swaggered back into earshot. “Finally come across something more feral than yourself?”

Lizzy scowled at him. Clearly, no apology was coming her way.

Because he’s not sorry at all. 

“Remember: she doesn’t need to run fast, Richardson.” Muldoon was still furious. “She just needs to run faster than you.” 

The colour leached from the Animal Supervisor’s hammy face and he made himself scarce, roaring off in his own Jeep now that the spectacle was over.

“So far so good.” Lizzy said wearily. 

“Or the calm before the storm.” The park warden deliberated. “We’ll find out which when her sedative fully wears off.”

“So pessimistic.”

“I am never disappointed if I assume the worst.” He gravely informed her. “Just get to say I told you so.”

“Guys, it’s dark. We can’t do anything more tonight.” Kathy pointed out. “Come on, I’m hungry.” 

They crammed themselves into Muldoon’s Jeep, trying not to think about arriving to the worst the next morning, where VM2308 had defended her territory to the death. Lizzy wondered if it was unreasonable to camp out in front of Arnold’s monitors, and wait for the Velociraptor population count to tick slowly downwards. 

***

By the time they got back to the visitor centre, the scaffolding was lit up by the quartz beams in the darkness. And the silhouette of Richardson was blocking the road, waiting for them. 

Can’t escape this guy…

“What’s he got in his hand?” Kathy craned forward to see. 

The headlights picked up the object he was holding. Lizzy leaned forward and stifled a gasp when she realised what it was. 

Someone had vandalised one of the lunchboxes in the newly stocked gift shop area with a black marker pen, to read Ass Park.

”Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Muldoon thumped the steering wheel, making the other three jump. 

“Robert!” Kathy was horrified enough to first-name him. “Honestly-“

”Christ, Baker! Can’t I do anything I like around here?”

“You can do Lizzy.” Tom muttered under his breath.  Lizzy whipped around so fast to scowl at him she cricked her neck. 

“Who did this?” Richardson boomed through the windscreen. Nobody answered, of course. “A replacement will be coming out of someone’s paycheck!”

”Oh, sure. This he cares about.” Kathy muttered.

”I will not be made a mockery of!” Even in the gloom, Richardson was a ridiculous shade of puce. “Get your staff under control!”

He threw the lunchbox into a puddle at the side of the road, and in a fit of pique absolutely nobody was expecting, actually stamped on it before trundling away.

They rolled around to the parking garage in silence, the animal handlers afraid to say a single word in case it was what finally tipped their boss over the edge.  Muldoon cut the engine and they sat in silence, the Jeep ticked quietly as it cooled.

Was he too angry to speak? Having an aneurysm? It was hard to tell. 

“I will neither confirm nor deny to him it was one of my staff-“ He finally said. “But, Kenned-“

”Yeah, yeah, boss. I’ll fix it.” Tom was apologetic. 

“You’d better.” Was the stern response. “It’s not funny.”

”No. Not at all. Sorry.”

“Good, as long as we’re clear.” Muldoon sounded like he was trying his very best not to laugh. “Not funny. Not in the slightest.”

Lizzy couldn’t look at him and stared resolutely at her own boots. She daren’t make eye contact, she knew she wouldn’t be able to stop herself laughing if she did. Kathy was still trembling with fear in the backseat.

“Armstrong. Baker.” Muldoon nodded curtly at the two women before making a hasty exit from the garage, leaving the keys behind in the ignition.  Lizzy had a feeling he was headed straight to find Arnold and Harding. An if you don’t laugh you’ll cry kind of situation.

“Now that was priceless.” Tom announced proudly. “Did that break the tension in here or what?”

“You’re a real asshole, you know what?” Kathy lightly smacked his arm. “This is only the most stressful day of his darn career.”

”The most stressful day so far.” Lizzy added, reflecting that she was turning into a pessimist herself, and that Muldoon was right. Again. It was oddly liberating. 

“I got him.” Tom beamed happily. “Worth it.”

“You know folks, I think I’m going to get him a swear jar.” Kathy nodded thoughtfully. “He’s terrible these days.”

***

Thanks for reading!!

I love writing Wildlife Expert Muldoon.

Not on hiatus, just slow to update atm. But we’re getting there. Still the fic of my life <3

[changingplumbob]

Woods Household: Chapter 1, Part 7

In this final part of the chapter Samir gets a visit from his adoptive mother and brother, reminding all of us that Reece is the only one able to get more than one word or sentence from him. Samir gets ready for another shift where he tries to keep hold of his humanity.

Low level content warning: Some sim spice and mentions of death

*knocking*

Kawikani: Maybe he’s not home

Yesenia: Of course he’ll be home

Samir: Visitors?

Yesenia: Better not be calling us that or you’ll disappear in two seconds flat. Come here honey, are you doing okay? You eating properly

Samir: Suppose

Kawikani: Still a man of few words huh bro

Yesenia: Now where is that boyfriend of yours? It really is high time I meet the boy my son is living with

Samir: Fishing

Having seen guests approaching the house Reece packs up his gear and jogs back from the lake.

Yesenia: Oh look at these photos, very nice dude (she's a bro sim btw)

Samir: *smiles* Reece looks nice

Yesenia: Don’t be modest honey, you’re up here to

Samir: Suppose

Yesenia: I’m so proud of you for being brave enough to claim your home back, you know that right

Samir: *nods* Hmm

Kawikani: Reece, dude! Nice threads

Reece: Thanks

Yesenia: Is that my boys boyfriend?

Reece: Hi Ms Mireles, I’m Reece

Yesenia: Gosh, you’re a lot… younger than I expected *looks at Samir with concern*

Kawikani: Scoring a younger partner, nice one

Samir: *blushes* Yeah. We fit together *blows kiss*

Reece: Aww, thanks

Yesenia continues to look worried and at a loss for words. Samir's brother however sees nothing wrong.

Kawikani: two sentences at once bro? This day is full of surprises

Yesenia: Now Kawikani, you know your brother doesn’t like to talk, don’t make fun

Kawikani: Any updates on your parents case

Samir: Yes… werewolves?

Yesenia: I beg your pardon

Samir looks pleadingly at Reece who promptly takes over sharing what they’ve found. Samir figures Reece is better with words anyway, that's one reason why he loves to hear him talk. When Reece gets to the part about Samir turning into a werewolf Reece can feel Samir tense up, waiting on a response from his family.

Yesenia: Hopefully this will help you find some answers then. No matter what, I'll be your mother. But I know you need to know what happened to your birth parents

Samir: You don’t… mind?

Kawikani: Course we don’t bro, come here

Kawikani pulls his brother into a hug and Samir feels his chest lighten just a bit.

Kawikani: Besides, when have we ever been a typical family unit? Why not add werewolf to the mix. I seriously hope you find the bastard who killed your folks, I know you’ve always wanted a why

Kawikani and Yesenia get talking and Reece pulls Samir aside.

Reece: You need to go for a run right? You're getting restless

Samir: But blondie I get the feeling mum...

Reece: Thinks I'm immature? Yeah, me to. But hey the best way to change that is for me to talk to her right

Samir: Just know I love you, no matter what she thinks

Reece: I know. I love you to, regardless of others approval or disapproval

Samir heads out for a run while Reece tries to win over Yesenia. She’s in a tense mood so Reece attempts to calm her emotions. She’s much happier after that and Reece hopes it’s a step in the right direction.

Samir: They gone

Reece: Yep, the house is ours

Samir: Good because I need to mark again

Reece: *smiles* I have to admit, I find the claiming territory thing attractive as hell, even though puddles are included. You letting the other thousands of werewolves know this house is in your territory

Samir: You’re my territory blondie *howls* everyone out there should know *howls*

Reece: *blushes* but seriously, do you think there are others out there? Apart from whoever bit you

Samir: *shrugs* Maybe. There are... a lot of smells in those woods

Reece: Do you want to like-

Samir: Cozy up and make a werewolf bff pack, nope. You know I don’t do crowds

Samir: I see you got books, good boy

Reece: And a bookshelf to put them in boss

Samir: Wait... why are half of them romance

Reece: *chuckles* You really wonder why I'd like to read about woohooing werewolves

Samir: Well... yeah. Why read when I can show you whenever your needy self wants?

Reece: *laughs* Not that I could ever say no to you but these books could help. Myths, legends and folklore have to come from somewhere right?

Samir: I mean that sound like the excuse of a- wait... I feel like there’s something in the margins here. Do you see?

Reece: I can't see what you're seeing

Samir: I can’t see it properly enough to read it… but it’s there

Reece: Maybe your eyes are still changing, give it time

Reece: One sausage and peppers for me, one raw steak for you

Samir: *eating* thanks, it’s all I really feel like

Reece: Maybe I was wrong, if you catch all the food you eat then grocery cost shouldn’t be a challenge

Samir: Plus, the plate disappears, no dishes

Reece: Guess I’ll clean up my single dish before we head outside then, hey!

Samir: *eating* what

Reece: I thought you didn’t want to eat the meal

Samir: *chewing* I can’t resist food in front of me though

Reece: You’ll get an angry moodlet

Samir: *swallowing* worth it. Always worth it

Samir: Okay, one planter box. How hard can that be really

Reece: Just remember to keep it all square

Samir: What’s a square again

Reece: *sarcastically* Wow, you’re hilarious

Samir: I’m glad you see- ouch

Reece: What happened

Samir: I got distracted by the plant evolving lights and hit my head

Reece: Blame the watcher, I normally do

Reece: You ready for bed

Samir: Yeah. I just… it feels like I could turn tomorrow

Reece: If you do, you do. We’ll handle it

Samir: Any genius ideas of how

Reece: You take the house, I’ll take the outdoors?

Samir: *laughs* Fine, you get outside, this time. I suppose that makes sense if I’m not wanting to scare people. Now, you mentioned something about bed… woohoo and cuddles? But only cuddles after if you’re good

Reece: *giggles* such a task master

Samir: Come on. You show me what you think those books have taught you, and I'll show you some stuff I've read up on that involves your birthday gift

In the morning Samir feels his internal rage nearing its peak and marks his territory out of habit before going to find Reece.

Samir: Hey gorgeous I don’t know how long I’ll be rampaging

Reece: I should have done scouts, then we could have used smoke signals

Samir: I mean... phones exist

Reece: Have it your way, but I'll still be listening out for when the howling stops

Following breakfast Reece heads outside and makes sure the external doors are locked. More than just wanting Samir to be safe inside, he doesn’t want any nosy sims trying to check out the howling. Especially not Sheriff Captain. The dew collector has broken, again, so he fixes it before foraging for wild berries.

Samir has some leftover meat for breakfast. Not the freshest but still fresh enough. He wants to go hunting but doesn’t trust himself around others when he’s not in control of the fury within. He figures if he’s stuck inside, he may as well stress clean. He’s just finished in the bedroom when he feels the rage boil over and his body starts to shift.

Reece spends the morning fishing, or trying to fish while listening to the semi regular howls. He could always catch something in Sulani, even if he’s nowhere near as skilled as his dad. In Moonwood Mill however the fish are having fun alluding him. After a very unproductive hour at the lake he decides to switch to the river that runs through town. While he gets a change of scenery he doesn’t have any luck catching more than seaweed.

We need to mark what’s ours! No, no, we already did that. We need to do it again! Howl so Reece knows it’s not safe yet. No, howl so whoever that killer is they know not to mess with us.

Poor Samir deals with the battling voices in his head for an hour, marking his territory repeatedly and howling so much that he shoots up to being a prime werewolf! With more power seems to come more control and with a series of collecting breaths Samir is able to calm himself down, returning to his human form and unlocking transformation mastery.

Adjusting back to his human form, Samir realises he’s standing amidst an abundance of puddles. He looks around, hoping he broke the sink. Nope, sink is fine, they have to be from him. Rather than feel ashamed at the mess Samir feels something resembling… pride? (his latest temperament is prideful) Of course he managed to pee more than could actually fit in his bladder, he’s clearly going to be a wolf not to be messed with. With a smug smile he sets about starting to mop up, the marking will stay but he doesn’t need the puddles damaging the already dodgy floor.

Reece: *knocks* Can I come back in now

Samir: Sure blondie just… watch your step

Reece: I see you went to town with marking

Samir: And howling, my throat is killing me. But… I managed to turn back by myself!

Reece: That’s great! So it means you're getting some control over it, right?

Samir: It feels like it

Reece: Although that probably means whoever killed your parents…

Samir: Chose to do it in wolf form. Yeah. Hey, I need to get out of here. Come on a date with me?

The couple head back to the park in Cooperdale where they had their first not date of skipping prom together.

The two take a seat and as per normal begin flirting up a storm with each other. It helps that the rain has kept most people away from the park, as Samir really doesn’t do crowds. When Reece pulls out some mistletoe for a special kiss however, Samir realises he does really do romance, cementing his identity as a romantic sim!

Samir: So tell me blondie, are you truly okay with all that’s happened to us since we moved in together

Reece: I mean, it’s been a lot… *chuckles* wilder than I was anticipating, but yes. I’m better than okay, I’m with the guy I love. I’m happy

Samir: I love you to. Now you are still going to apply to university right

Reece: If you insist

Samir: I do. I don’t want trying to find out who killed my parents stop you from flourishing into the genius you are. Plus, there’s many ways we can study biology together

Reece: Have some ideas for that do you

Samir: *smiles wickedly* always

Reece: I mean there is a public bathroom over there if you felt like getting a head start on the curriculum

Samir: *kisses* clearly we still need to work on your patience. Let's go home

Separate dinners eaten together, some wild and playful woohoo, and Reece and Samir fall asleep happy, if on the wrong sides of the bed. This is the end of their first chapter living together, but they’ve got many more stories ahead.

Previous ... Next (Knightstone)

[r0b0-writes]

Hi! I just wanted to say that I’ve really enjoyed your fics!! Two years ago, I was in a really bad place mentally (I’m doing much better now, don’t worry), but Musical Nerds updates were something I was always looking forward to. I’ve absolutely loved seeing the characters grow and change throughout the story. And I love the characterizations of all the more minor characters, too. Your writing is a charm! I recently finished re-reading MN and I’m currently also re-reading The Cove. They are just as good if not better than how I remember them ^o^

I noticed that you’ve joined the DCA fandom as of late, and I’m so happy to see you there! (When I first saw your name in the tag i was browsing on ao3 I got so excited). I’ve loved all your fics so far and can’t wait to see whatever you make next.

Anyway, just wanted to thank you for sharing your works! It means a lot to people, though most of us don’t say it enough. So thank you! Keep doin what you like to do! <3

Oh my, this is the nicest, sweetest thing ever. (I've been crazy stressed recently cuz of some health stuff going on). I really appreciate hearing this!

Thank you for letting me know that you enjoy my work. I'm really excited about what I have planned for the rest of MN and knowing that people still read the fic and enjoy it is really motivating! I've enjoyed MN!Cap'n the most, (but don't tell anyone). Also! The Cove!! That's a throwback, for sure! I'm so glad you enjoyed that fic! I had an awesome time writing it and worldbuilding with Charlie! I hope that I can still find some time to write some SCC oneshots in the future. It just gets especially hard w/ drama that pops up in the fandom. Which is one reason why I like DCA so much! Despite it being a fairly large fandom, I've barely seen any discourse! It genuinely feels like a place where people try to motivate each other and encourage creativity! I'm really appreciative of your message, it really made me feel better. Thank you!!

[idk-ilike5sos]

Dear Will,

Before today, it'd been twenty-seven days since I wrote to you last. You’ve never received any of the letters and - as long as I don’t suddenly die before I get the chance to burn them all - you never will. But since eight am, I've already started and torn up five other first-letters-since. I thought it'd be easy to write down how I feel, let everything exist solely as ink on paper, but it's not. I'm learning recently, since you left, that I'm wrong about a lot of things.

This morning I got another letter from Eleven. It's probably the last one I'll get before seeing you both. It's still scary to think that, in a couple of days, we'll be face-to-face again. It's been so long.

One-hundred-and-ninety-two days, at the time I’m writing this. I wonder if it feels like it’s been that long to you.

But, anyway, in that letter, Eleven went over what she usually does: updates me on school, how she's adjusting so well without me, and she lets me know how you're all doing. Joyce likes her new job, Jonathan is stressed about college, and you're painting something you won't let her see.

She told me that you met some girl in California.

I bet she's pretty. She's got the nicest eyes you've ever seen, and you paint them all the time. You've memorized every shape of her face from how much you draw her. She probably has a nice laugh, but you'd tell her it's cute even if she didn't. Everyone loves her and always talks about how kind she is. She's at the top of all her classes. I bet she's popular and a cheerleader or some cliche-equivalent.

I hope she has dark, shoulder-length hair. I hope she has ugly brown eyes. I hope she has a lot of freckles. And I hope she's got "strong cheekbones", as my mom likes to call them. I hope she looks like me.

I know she doesn't. She's probably the complete opposite, which is what hurts even more. Not only do you not like me because I'm a boy, but because of every single little thing about me.

I was in shock when I found out Eleven liked me - because, I mean, it's El, you know?

She's awesome, and I know that. At first, I thought I’d somehow won at life, because I found this incredible girl and everyone kept bringing up how enamoured I was with her. So, I kissed her - and she didn’t even seem disgusted or anything! A little surprised, but not bad surprised, you know?

Then it got even better, because it turned out she liked me back. Isn’t that insane? A girl liked ME. It’s still hard to believe now. Sometimes, I feel like she’s lying every time she signs her letters with “love”.

In the end, I fucked it up anyway. It all started with a lie and I got so caught up in it that I was too scared to start telling the truth. And, contrary to popular belief, the lie that ruined our relationship wasn’t that my nana got sick. It’s that her feelings grew, but mine dissipated because it turns out they were never really there.

So this is me finally telling the truth, even if no one ever gets to hear it.

And the truth is I miss you. I miss us.

When you left, I kept telling myself you'd come back. At night, I'd hold back tears, whispering to myself that you're gonna come back one day. You'll be in Hawkins again, on that old ass couch in my basement - the one only a couple of feet away from me right now. We'd both look a lot older than we did the last time we were here, maybe even older than we do now, but at some point, we'd be back. We'd be as close as we used to be. It'd be like nothing ever changed. And the worst part is, I really believed it would all happen.

But it won't. You're not coming back. You might visit a few times, but eventually, our zero-contact thing will get tiring for you. You'll find a new Party, a better one. And this girl you like is going to be a part of it - because she's perfect, so obviously she loves all the things you love. She loves all the things that we love, that used to be ours.

I'm not angry. I'm trying not to be angry.

It's not easy.

I want you here. I want you with me. I don't want you with that stupid girl.

I hate her. I hate her so much.

Why am I not good enough?

Please, just tell me. I'd do anything to change. I'll be kinder. I'll be smarter. I'll be funnier. I'll give in to Lucas' ideals of popularity. I don't care what. All of it would be worth it.

And if I’m unveiling the truth, I might as well unveil it all. I like you. This letter has probably made that obvious already, but I had to add it. I think I’ve liked you for forever, even if I didn’t realise. Or maybe I didn’t and one day, everything changed. I don't know. Either way, I exist today with that truth. I like you. I like you and not Eleven.

I need you, Will. Even if it’s just as friends, I need you in my life.

I’m really glad you’re not reading this because I sound pathetic. And that’s because I am. I’m a stupid pathetic mess. The basement's a shit hole. My room’s even worse. My grades suck. I never see Dustin, Lucas, or Max outside of school, but I somehow see my family even less. So, I’m more than pathetic. I’m alone. And it’s my own fault.

I think California's been good for you. It got you away from Hawkins. It got you away from me. And it brought you to your dream girl. She must be pretty special. She's lucky. And if it turns out she somehow doesn't like you back, that's on her. She must've lost her mind or never had one in the first place.

If you ever need to talk about it, have a 2,000-mile-away-shoulder to cry on, I'm always waiting by the phone...

Love, Mike

[dollkichi]

don't worry, doll, i'm waiting for the day i play with you too~ however, i must profess that i'm not the best at Minecraft. the few times i try a survival world i always end up switching to creative or having cheats on. my favourite thing to do in minecraft is really just to use an elytra and fireworks and fly around looking for cool biomes. i've never been quite the builder- unlike you, i trust.

i'm sorry to hear your base isn't going well- i hope you're able to salvage it into something you like more and then show it to me~ but i'd be proud of my doll either way.

i do apologise for not responding earlier, but i can assure you that i was watching you. do you ever get the feeling where you want to respond to something but you just keep putting it off but then it becomes too late and you feel that if you respond now you'll feel like an asshole for making the other party wait? that does happen to me a lot. but regardless, i do sincerely hope that your mouth is feeling better now a few days after your dental appointment.

how are you today?

-👤

HI!! HELLO!!!! It’s totally okay if you’re not the best at minecraft, it’s just a game and you’re meant to have fun with it!! If playing with cheats or creative is how you enjoy it, then why not play with those things? I also play on creative or use cheats from time to time, I always play with keep inventory. (๑>؂•̀๑)

There are super cool biomes in minecraft, the world generation update really changed so much. The big mountains are always so amazing to see, I’d say my favorite biome is probably the taiga. The new-ish cherry blossom and mangrove biomes are super pretty too though… love the stuff they brought to the game. I do enjoy building, I should make us a super cute house!! When we play, I will slay the dragon get you that elytra ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

I appreciate your support!! I’ll try my best to salvage the base… no guarantees though. I totally messed up the outline and now it looks all wonky. </3

No need to apologize, you haven’t done anything wrong!!! I’m just glad to know that you’re watching. I do get and understand that feeling, that doesn’t make you an asshole. Do things when you can, I’m sure the other party would rather wait for a well thought out response than a rushed one! Never too late either to say something ♡⸜(˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝

My mouth is a-okay now!! All better, yippee!! Thank you for the kind wishes. As for how I’ve been today, I’ve been good. A lil bit busy though… which is why it took so long to get to your ask, I’m so so so sorry!!! I went grocery shopping today which is what I do every weekend but I still enjoy it. I also made plans for next weekend to go out to lunch with family so that’s exciting! Once I got home from grocery shopping, I decided to play Fortnite for a lil bit… I’m not very good at it though. I haven’t played since 2018… all the new stuff is confusing. My friend asked me to play and so I decided to redownload it, I’m super happy I joined in time to get the MHA skins!! I got the Class 1-A and LOV bundle today. Didn’t play for very long though as family came over and I hung out with them, I watched some gravity falls with them since we started talking about the book of bill and they’ve never seen gravity falls before!!

I hope that you’ve been well and I really do appreciate any asks that you send, if it takes you a lil bit to send a reply then that’s totally okay. Better late than never!! If you have anything you’d like to tell me about yourself, your interests, or how you’ve been lately, then please do send me another ask. You don’t have to, of course, but I figured I’d offer. I’m here to listen and you have my full attention for whatever you have 2 say to me!! Also… if you have discord and would like to play minecraft sometime soon, feel free to DM me or send an ask with your tag if you’re uncomfy with messaging me. I won’t post the ask if you go that route but don’t feel pressured to send anything either, I’m just putting the offer out there since we’ve been talking about playing ^^