#but if they keep it funny and stupid and dramatic as all hell like yes okay give me the cheese please

[lazybakerart]

the only way i will NOT enjoy the live action yu yu hakusho netflix show is if they push a heterosexual agenda. it’s shounen, which means it’s gay, and i refuse to watch kurama be anything less than flaming.

[voxsmistress]

Mama Didn't Raise No Bimbo - Part Sixteen!

Hello my gorgeous little demons - I am so sorry this took so long to post! These past few weeks have been hell at work! But never fear, I will always get to writing when I can!

Now ... we've had Voxie's turn, it's Valentino's now ;)

Part One / Part Two / Part Three / Part Four / Part Five / Part Six / Part Seven / Part Eight / Part Nine / Part Ten / Part Eleven / Part Twelve / Part Thirteen / Part Fourteen / Part Fifteen / Part Sixteen Trigger Warnings: Sexual themes, no under 18's allowed, sexual shenanigans, second time writing smut (be kind), Val being his usual sarcastic self!

A few days had passed since your little tryst with Vox, and you were slightly embarrassed that the next day after you basically had to spend it all in bed to recover after your late evening with the Overlord. Even more embarrassed when Velvette came to check up on you and ended up laughing her head off when she realised what was going on. Valentino was a little nicer – and by a little you meant he didn’t laugh … straight away.

Anyway, after that one day of recovering you were then back to work, focusing on your social media and the upcoming catwalk for Velvette. Your songs were chosen, outfits being made and all that was left was practicing where and when you were going to sing, prance and walk. And by practice you meant again, and again and again until you had to tell Velvette if she kept making you sing over and over your voice would be in tatters for the show. Did you think she was going to give you a break after that? Your voice, yes. Your body, nope. You were made to walk up and down that catwalk, pose in various (idiotic) poses and dance your way back down the catwalk. Safe to say you were absolutely shattered.

Which is why you were currently lying down on the pink chaise lounge in Velvette’s studio; going over paperwork, the last few outfit designs for the other demons and whether any song choices would work better than the ones you had. Velvette was sat beside you, one hand tapping away on her phone and the other one running her fingers through your hair, tugging on the few tangles that were there making sure you were paying attention and not falling asleep which you were apt to do. What could you say, you loved people playing with your hair.

A grumble and a huff from her stopped you from adjusting the one outfit design and instead to look up at her to see a pissed off look on her face. What has happened now?

“You okay there, babe?” Checking on her, you sit up properly as she shakes her phone annoyed.

“That stupid piss baby is blowing up all our phones having a tantrum, like we have time to deal with his dramatics. Vox is busy which means I am going to have to deal with him and I have a hundred different things to do and I just- “ Turning her phone while she ranted so you can see the masses of messages from Valentino you hold back a sigh. He’d been so good recently it was easy to forget that he was the most dramatic out of the three of them (which if you considered how dramatic they all are is an achievement in itself!)

“Sweets don’t worry, I’ll go and chat with him you keep working on what you need to do” you stand from your seat stretching your back which was aching from being laid funny for so long. Vel argued for a few moments before relenting and passing you your phone from the table, popping a quick kiss on her cheek as you walk round her you wiggle your fingers in a goodbye gesture. Entering the elevator you pressed the button for Valentino’s floor. A quick scroll on your phone you see the various messages from Valentino progressively getting more pissed off when no one was replying. Oops. Piss baby indeed.

A sharp ping distracted you from the messages, shoving your phone into your pocket you enter Valentino’s studio. Up till now you had only made a few trips to his studio, preferring the calmness of Vox’s office, or focusing on the clothes in Velvette’s – Val’s had a completely different vibe which sometimes put you on edge. A few steps into the room you could feel the energy was chaotic already. A Valentino shouting at the two pornstars on the stage was the reason why. Sighing under your breath you could easily see he wasn’t exactly as calm as you would have hoped. Well. Here goes nothing.

Walking towards the Overlord, you nod to a few of the demons who recognised you from around the tower and glared at the ones who give you a bit of attitude who obviously don’t realise who you were. They soon would. Coming to a stop at a ranting Val’s side you watch him snap a few directions at the actors with comments on how they could (should) improve. Before he could yell action, you link an arm through his while whispering up into his ear: “is that how you are going to direct me in bed?” His head twists round so fast his glasses nearly fly off, catching them you grin up at the shocked Overlord. Shocked is definitely better than shouting.

“My amorcito (little love), what are you doing here?” Slipping his glasses properly back on his face, you can’t help but chuckle at his question.

“You ask as if you weren’t blowing up all of our phones continuously for the past hour – I’ve come to check up on you”, as you explain one of his arms wraps around your waist to drag you around the side of his chair, so now you were in front of him.

“You came to check on little ol’ me? I am touched!” His other hand was cupping your face, fingers squeezing your cheeks a little harder than normal reminding you of his festering anger. Your own hand came up to rest on his wrist as you nod, his hand controlling how much movement you had which sent a small tingle up your spine. Okay you had definitely been spending way too much time with the Vee’s because when did you get that sort of kink?

He must have seen something in your expression as his own darkened with a sinister grin, his gold tooth flashing at you. Bringing another hand to your waist he hoisted you onto his lap like you weighed nothing, squeaking at the sudden movement you placed your hands on his arms to steady yourself. He had made sure to place you with your back against his chest and two of his arms stayed wrapped around your waist pressing you closer to him.

“If you want to keep me calm little one, I suggest you stay there and stay quiet, yes?” Agreeing you rested against his chest as he shouted at the actors to start again. Sitting there you kept quiet, but with how Valentino was sat you had the full show of what the actors were doing on the stage. Adverting your gaze, a flush started to raise up your neck to your cheeks more so when you couldn’t help but take a cheeky glance. How on hell do they stay in those positions without breaking a sweat? After a few minutes of that position, Val shouted for them to change. His hands rubbing up and down your waist as well as the scene in front of you was making the jeans you were wearing mighty uncomfortable.

Doing your best to ignore the urge the relieve the pressure, you hesitated before shifting on Valentino’s lap to try and stop the seam of your jeans pressing against your clit. Moving a bit too quick, a gasp escaped your lips as small burst of pleasure flashed through your body. A chuckle against your ear made the blush grow even more. Busted.

“Comfortable Princessa?” His hushed words into your ear made a shiver run down your spine. Another chuckle from him caused you to roll your eyes. Of course he was loving this. Ready to shove his arms away from your waist and storm out, a pair of red wings encasing your body stopped you in your tracks. You hadn’t seen his wings before.

“Now sit still and keep that pretty mouth of yours shut while daddy finishes his work”, you are ready to give him some sarcastic and harsh words, but a quick hand sneaked down the front of your jeans and underwear. Slipping a finger in between your wet lips gathering the wetness up and pressing harshly against your clit made any words you wanted to say to stay stuck in your throat. Gulping back the moan that wanted to escape, you clench your thighs together to try stop him from moving his fingers.

Tutting quietly into your ear, two hands easily push your thighs apart and hold them open while the hand that was down your jeans was alternating between circling your clit and dipping into your tight hole. “Now mi carño, that bratty attitude might work with Voxie, but not with me you understand?” Your concentration was gone with the fingers that were pushing you closer and closer to the edge making you whine under your breath when they came to a stop. Blinking up at him, his free hand wrapped around your neck harshly before giving you a small shake. “Are you that starved for attention little one that you have become dumb as soon as I touch you? I asked you a question!” He snarls down at you, swallowing a groan you try to rack your brains at what he asked you before. It was so hard to think while his fingers were working you so well and that hand around your neck was just helping push you closer to that edge. Bratty. Bratty attitude that was what he asked you.

“I understand Papi” you whisper, hiding your smirk at the dark expression he gave you. A finger driving deeper into you was your retribution for the snarky comment. Worth it. He yanked your body closer to his chest by the hand on your throat, keeping you plastered against him as his other hands kept your legs open and driving you higher and higher.

“Does it turn you on that we are doing this where anyone could see us Y/n? All it takes is for me to move my wings and anyone can see you unravel on my fingers” licking up your neck making a small moan escapes your lips.

“It does, but do you really want others to see me in that position? To see me fall apart at your hands when my reactions should only be reserved for you three Vee’s?” You turn your head to stare into his lensed glare. You knew you were playing with fire. Valentino was the most jealous and possessive of the three, but he was also the most unpredictable. A thrill ran through your body as he growled into your shoulder, biting down on it hard making you groan. Shit that hurt! Removing his teeth, you see his possessive bite mark on your shoulder. The sound he let out was almost a purr as he ran his tongue over the mark, his fingers moving quicker on your clit causing you to slam your head back into his chest and hold back the moans so only a few whimpers fell from your lips.

He laughed at you, shouting a few more orders and commands at the actors being completely at ease while you were falling apart at the seams. So close to the edge you dug your fingers into his arms, whimpers and moans escaping you more often now but you had stopped caring if the other demons could hear. You were so focused on the feeling coursing through your veins you couldn’t give a fuck if the rest of the room heard you scream.

Val did some sort of voodoo move with his fingers that had you cuming without even realising that you had not just hit the edge but had flown off it. The hand that was around your throat was now across your mouth muffling all the moans and shouts as Valentino shouted cut and for everyone to fuck off out of the room.

Twitching and twisting away from his fingers that continued moving, you shook your head at Val. It was too much. Too much. You tried to get your hands down your jeans to stop him, but they were caught by his own.

“My little chulito, you didn’t think I was finished with you yet, did you?”

Fuck!

Taglist:

@tasha-1994 @azullynxx @reath-solia @leathesimp @klorinda

@the-maladaptivedaydreamer @songbrita @midge7838 @joumi13 @wonderlandangelsposts @th3rizzler

@ace-spades-1 @iamferalfordilfs

@justgiulia @kittycatkrissa @qu1cks1lversb1tch @martinys-world @superwholatacohunters @mysticvoide

@rosiethevoxobesser

@skullhorn59 @sarcastic-sourwolf

@samanthastarss @hazbinz-vixxie

@shinynewboots

[hana-bobo-finch]

IT IS TIME FOR ANOTHER WONDERFUL ROUND OF RANDOM PIKMIN HEADCANONS OKEY DOKEY

• Hocotate and Koppai are in the same solar system. Koppai is much further away from the sun than Hocotate so it has a colder climate than Hocotate. Creatures on Koppai have thick fur to compensate (and Koppaites have thicker body hair) (this is an excuse for me to draw fluffy things heehee)

• relating to that, one of the reasons Koppaites struggle with agriculture is because of the cold temperatures

• ^ and because the government sucks! I had a long drawn out conversation about this topic before and I will not just regurgitate all my points but the Koppaite government is corrupt!!! Yay!!! The food + poverty crises are used as a way to take advantage of people (not saying the government STARTED them purposely but they sure as hell didn’t try very hard to stop it)

• Most planets have their own native languages but over time and with advances in space travel they got less common. It used to be that only frequent travelers would learn the universal language, but as travel became more accessible more people started learning it and teaching it to their children by default.

• ^ even then a lotta people still have VERY thick accents.

• Koppaites have much worse hearing than most because of their rounded ears. While others have more of a cone shape to their ears, Koppaite’s ears are more flat and don’t pick up sound as well (and they can’t pinpoint where exactly sound comes from. You ever see how a cat twitches their ears aroun when they hear the slightest sound, that’s how most species are. Meanwhile Koppaites have the Bad Inferior Round Ear Gene)

• Ohrians have very specific pheromones they give off. YES this is because of the stupid comic I made where yonny “smells gay” it’s not MY fault everyone loves it for goodness sake even my friend who knows nothing about pikmin and who I didn’t think would find that sort of thing funny thought it was the funniest thing ever I’m so confused help

• Giya’s culture focuses heavily on dogs. Like how in Tokyo there’s these big ass billboards with hyper realistic 3d models of cats

• ^ dingo was so SO not prepared for that when he moved to giya to join the rescue corps. Save him. He is a pathetic creature. He didn’t do enough research before moving there he just wanted to become a ranger already. It was a horrific realization. The soggy-cat-of-a-man had a panic attack and almost made the impulsive decision to Get The Heck Outta There and move back to ohri. Bless his cold, dead heart

• Speaking of which! Dingo joined the corps about a year before yonny did. It was absolute torture for them both to have to have a long distance relationship ermmm friendship

• yonny only joined as the doctor because the old doctor FUCKING DIED!!! i don’t know how they died I just think it’s funny for there to be such a dramatic reason. maybe they got mauled by ravenous space bunnies. Sure let’s go with that.

• Hocotate freight is very very stuck in the past. Even for our standards. The president is a huge boomer who thinks old is gold. What he does not understand is that the fact that their equipment is falling apart is why they can’t stay afloat

• puddle wants so. SO BADLY. to do fashion experiments on the Koppaites. He thinks their different anatomy is so incredibly fascinating and he NEEDS to take full advantage of it (the only outward difference is their round ears but HE DOES NOT CARE.) He has on numerous occasions tried to manipulate the three into letting him pierce their ears. Guys come on. It would be so awesome. Please. Your ears are so cool let me look at them PLEASE

• ^ all three never let him. It makes puddle insane. He is normally such a nice and chill guy but it makes him so feral. Keep him away from them do not let him go near alph’s emo brother he WILL chase him with a piercing gun

• Hocotate Whiz (what, you don’t know what that is? It’s the company that spams your mail in pikmin 2 offering to help Hocotatians change jobs, I can’t believe you didn’t know that (I did not know this until a few minutes ago)) is ran solely by the families of Hocotate Freight workers. They spam the emails of the ships to try to convince the workers to change jobs because they KNOW that it is a hellhole and they NEED TO GET OUT. SAVE THEM. SAVE THE WORKERS OF HOCOTATE FREIGHT

• Bernard is Santi’s sleep paralysis demon

• Yonny has rusty and bloody medical equipment strewn across his lab for the sole purpose of freaking people out. He’s actually incredibly sanitary to the point of being borderline germaphobic

• as if Collin didn’t have enough work to do already he kinda fills the role of the team’s unofficial therapist. He doesn’t actually mind all too much bc he’s Way Too Nice but. Save him.

• the paint shepherd has under her eyes? It’s to reduce sun glare? WRONG. It’s because it looks AWESOME and she would totally paint her face with incredibly detailed designs but apparently looking like a walking painting is “unprofessional” and “disturbs the people we’re rescuing” and “stop spending our budget on face paint”

umm there’s probably more in my noggin but I am getting a headache so that is all 🧍

[glitter-stained]

Idea: for his first time coming back to Crime Alley during his revenge plot, before establishing himself as a crime lord, Jason saves a kid. The kid asks him his name then informs him that it's ridiculous, and that a fairy tale name isn't scary at all so he should change it if he wants to scare the bad guys and also that his helmet isn't even a hood so it's stupid. Jason goes home in a daze, has a crisis, and brainstorms ideas.

Here is the list he comes up with, based on the fact he's a dramatic nerd, and ranked from my personal least favourite to top favourite.

The Creature : I feel like Jason would be the type of person to scream at people who call the Creature Frankenstein, but also argues that the real monster in the story is indeed Frankenstein; that name is thus a book accurate reference, while simultaneously highlighting and rubbing in Bruce's face that he created the villain by making himself his father and then abandoning him. My issue with this is that I associate the concept of cryptid vigilant creature with Cass so much giving the name to Jason feels wrong.

Rhapsody : Rhapsody of a Windy Night (by TS Eliot ofc) is THE poem I think of when I think about Jason in relation to Crime Alley, so this is a cool looking name cementing his identity as a crime lord/ vigilante as linked to this place. Unfortunately, most people would think either music themed villain or Queen reference and nobody would get the reference which would piss Jason off.

The Dead Poet: That idea is not mine, I unfortunately lost the post that suggested it so feel free to link it if you do. I absolutely love it, 100% nerd and batman villain, only reason it's low is I like the others more.

Antigonish: That's the title of a creepy poem/nursery rhyme by Mearns about a ghost haunting a house (yesterday upon the stairs/i saw a man who wasn't there...) very leaning in the creepy, undead, haunting the narrative vibe, and I think he'd fuck with the aesthetic so much, I think he'd wage psychological warfare against Batman with references to Jason's death.

Prometheus: A classic, the curse of non consensual immortality while also being a protector and enlightener of the people, defying the authority and saying I will break your rule in the name of what I think matters more. I think he'd like the way it lets him simultaneously say fuck you to Bruce and keep in mind who he's supposed to protect. Yes, I know Prometheus is a pre existing villain and I hate him, let's just ignore that.

Chrysothemis: this one is such a smartass reference he's such a little shit I think he'd love it. A classic myth from the trojan war is Agamemnon sacrificing his daughter Iphigenia to Artemis in order to be able to go on his mission (wage war against Troy), and when he comes back from Troy, Clytemnestra kills him in revenge, and then the family hunts eachother for sports (see the Oresteia). In Sophocles's Electra, Chrysothemis is the name of the daughter of Clytemnestra who, unlike Electra, doesn't condemn/ protest against their mother for killing Agamemnon to avenge Iphigenia. I think it's particularly funny because Chrysothemis literally means "golden law". Maybe not the most badass sounding but god would it be so funny.

Lightbearer : (the title of Lucifer). Again, maybe not the most badass but Jason is a nerd and he'd fuck with it. "But isn't Jason the christic equivalent of the Bruce/Jason/Joker trinity?" I hear you ask and the answer is yes, but on a meta level, this is what the reader is allowed to see. Jason? He's read Paradise Lost and agrees Satan/Lucifer was right, projected Bruce on God, and made it his whole personality. I think Lightbearer!Jason would quote Paradise Lost/make references to it all the time during their arguments, denouncing Batman's abandonment of Crime Alley and say "I'd rather rule in hell than serve in heaven", tell him that he has no obligation to play by his rules because "just because you were here first doesn't make you the rightful ruler of this city". This also goes well with my hcs about Crime Alley being a little fucked up and loving their local crime lord/vigilant, with graffitis and nicknames treating him like the Alley's Angel/guardian angel but in a fucked up, fallen angel way, like that's our patron saint and he's made of the same shit that we are, he's not holier-than-though cause he's not holy but he's ours.

Anyway feel free to share which ones you prefer and add ideas!!!

[sulumuns-dootah]

21.12. Paimon - Matching sweaters

    ༺☆༻

A/N: Writing this made me realise how much I enjoy writing for Paimon, so pleeease someone request something with them or I will start coming up with ideas - this is a threat!

⟡ Masterlist ⟡ 

₊˚⊹.* The Yule festival of Hell *.⊹˚₊

    ༺☆༻

“Y/N~! You gotta see thisss!” Paimon bursts into your room without knocking. Although the clacking of their shoes running to your room can be taken as a warning by itself.

“Yes, bestie?” you match their enthusiasm or at least you try to do so.

“I just saw this thing online and I know we only we can pull this offf!” they show you their phone screen. It shows a picture of a matching set of Christmas sweaters. One says 'I'm the nice one' and the other 'I'm the naughty one'. They are pretty ugly, but good enough for them to be worn ironically.

“Ugly sweaters?” you ask kinda unsure if they're serious or also find them ironically funny.

“Yesss! I'll be the naughty one and you'll be the nice~!” it sounds that they're serious, but why ruin their excitement with the fact that these things are sort of an outdated gag now.

“Me? Nice? You know best that I'm not nice, Pai.” you giggle and wink at them, reminding the both of you of all the fun times you've spent playing in their mirror room.

“Oh I knowww! But you still are nicer than meee!” they pout and wave their phone dramatically in front of your face. They're practically sitting in your lap begging you to agree with their idea.

“Okay then, I guess. If that's what would make you happy then sure, but we'll only wear them for a few photos and then never again.” you sigh and defeat. Paimon is like an excited puppy and you can't bring yourself to make those shining eyes glint with sadness.

“Yaay~! Just so you know I've already ordered them, so they should be here any day nowww!” they practically shake with happiness.

    ༺☆༻

When the sweaters arrive, you're not exactly over the moon. Somehow even the idea of wearing it for few minutes makes you cringe internally. Just looking a them spread out on your bed has you paranoid that your room will soon have a 'Live Laugh Love' writing on a wall and 'Friends' will be the only show you'll find funny anymore.

“So~, what do you thinkkk? Cute, righttt?” Paimon fiddles with their phone to get the best camera settings for some amazing photos.

“They're... Ugh... Okay, I guess.” you scratch the back of your neck to subtly signal your distaste without having to say it out loud.

“Okay~! Time to changeee, Y/N~!” the cute demon starts unbuttoning their vest and shirt to pull the sweater over their head.

You sigh and do the same. Looking at yourself in the mirror you feel stupid. And what's worse is that the fit and color of it look good on you. Still, you try to fake some level of happiness to keep Paimon happy.

“Smile, Y/N~! I can see the disgust in your eyes, but try to look happy in the photo, pleaseee. Maybe you can think about the things we'll do when I take the sweater off of youuu!” they mutter to you and snap few selfies.

    ༺☆༻

But wait, this demon also has a gift for you!

"I've noticed your phone isn't as cute as mineee. I got you something to make it cuterrr!"

[go-to-the-mirror]

i think it's absolutely rigged that this episode falls on april fools day actually. APRIL FOOLS! everything is still awful actually

Hi howdy this episode is so sad :( I'm so sad constantly about this episode. this episode. :( can't wait until the FUN season 5 bits where it's like they're GAY and there are so many ANALOGIES! instead we just have to wallow in sadness for a bit. so upset!! aa!!

Anyway yeah, lets go. I think when I listened to it at first I was really upset that I was at the end, like I was thinking "oh no I'm nearly at the end" back with 151. I still haven't listened to goodbye for now because it just makes me really sad that my favourite podded cast is over. I mean, good thing it's not now, but I still don't think I can make myself listen to it. I did put off MAG 200 for a while, and then when I actually did listen to it I immediately read Citrus' (CirrusGrey) fics about it.

Which, speaking of, it's season 5 time!!! Fuck dude it sure is! Not only a relisten, but a reread of all Citrus' fantastic fics!! YEAH!!! Ok, ok, ok, getting on with it now.

@a-mag-a-day

MARTIN You had- rum and raisin, and taught us all about emulsifiers.

He has the ice cream taste of a grandmother. Oh, also, funny story. So, we were getting ice cream, right, and I saw rum and raisin, and I got really upset, because Jon Sims had rum and raisin ice cream, and also the world ended. I don't- everything is a TMA reference with me, once someone asked me to open the door and I started laughing, because Jon Sims opened a door.

It's... very... odd.

JONAH MAGNUS (AS ELIAS) Knock knock.

Killing and maiming. I hate him so much. Die. Fucking die.

JONAH He didn’t have to. Nothing escapes my notice, and I like to keep an eye out for this sort of thing.

This guy is COMICALLY evil. like, not only does he end the world, but he ruins a cake surprise? why is he such a bastard?

ARCHIVIST Uh- thirty-eight.

HE JUST ADDED TEN YEARS ONTO HIS AGE HE'S SO FUCKING STUPID <3

TIM, SASHA, MARTIN (Crosstalk) -Jon. JONAH (Crosstalk) -Archivist.

WHY??? Literally, like, why, why, why is he like this, why, why??? Why did he do that? Why is he such an asshole? Why.

Why.

why.

ARCHIVIST If I wish for you all to go away, do you think it’ll work?

WHY ARE WE GETTING HIT WITH THE DRAMATIC IRONY BUS? WHY? "If I wish for you all to go away, do you think it'll work" STOP NO, WHY, WHYYYY...

it just makes me really sad.

ARCHIVIST I can’t tell you.

Your honour I am holding him gently.

JONAH He wished for a little bit of peace and quiet.

It's one thing to manipulate someone into ending the world, it's quite another to SHARE THEIR WISH? Dude. Why is he like this? This does nothing for him? He has taken one of Jon's only happy memories from working at the hell that's called an archive and twisted it into "oh boy, look at all that pain." For no fucking reason except to be evil. Killing and murder.

MARTIN Oh! Uh, (slight laugh) I mean- I don’t- normally- drink wine, you know- t-tannins are a proven headache trigger, and so-

Ooh! Fun fact! Rooibos tea has low tannin compared to other tea, therefore, Martin drinks rooibos tea, I make the rules.

TIM Oh! Yeah! I- just thought it might be nice, you know, something to look back on when we’re all old and sick of each other.

WHY. WHY. WHY.

"When we're all old and sick of each other" THEYRE NEVER GONNA GET OLD AND SICK OF EACH OTHER THEYRE ALL GOING TO DIE. THEYRE ALREADY DEAD AND THEY DONT EVEN KNOW IT. IM GOING TO CRY NOW.

ARCHIVIST (Crosstalk) (Under his breath) Oh, hypocrite.

I hate that it sounds friendly, like they're getting annoyed at each other in a friendly way, that Jon is friends with Tim and Sasha. Hate it. So much. Headinhands.

TIM (Crosstalk) Alright, alright, fine, look. I’m turning it off. Any last words for your future selves? ARCHIVIST Yes. Fire Tim!

ARHRRHGGGHGH </3

[Pause with clothing rustles]

CLOTHING RUSTLES!!!!! 🏳️‍🌈

ARCHIVIST It’s not- (struggling) you’re not the one who ended the world. (Archivist breath shows he’s close to tears)

Oh my god leave me alone. Stop it! Stop it!! It's just. Like. Christ. Oh my god. Oh my god. I can't even word properly, I just want to give him a hug, I just want him to be okay. Fuck, dude.

Why's jonny such a good voice actorrrr :(

MARTIN Are we still safe? ARCHIVIST Y-Yes. It- It doesn’t want to harm me. MARTIN And me? ARCHIVIST I won’t let it.

I like the way Jon's voice is in the "it doesn't want to harm me." Like it's sort of vaguely hysterical.

ARCHIVIST I’m just- I’m mourning a world I killed- MARTIN (Placating) I know- ARCHIVIST (Increasingly fervent) and we’re all trapped in its rotting corpse!-

I like this bit a lot. I think it's neat. I'm gay and I like rot. I need to read... what was it, thirteen stories I think? That's got the rot. I like the rot. 10/10 on the rot. Like hnmmn what Jane Prentiss says about the dead god, a world that was alive, was sentient, now dead, rotting with maggots and flies all over it, flesh squishy and yielding but also firm at the same time like a bruised apple, trapped on an actually dead corpse of a world.

That would be neat!!

ARCHIVIST Can you imagine? If we’d had this? MARTIN But we didn’t though, did we. ARCHIVIST No— MARTIN So there’s no point in dwelling.

ooOOOoooh title drop

but also... </3 like he could have kept them. he could have not done that. he could have not put the fucking solution to everything right after it becomes moot.

stabbing.

ARCHIVIST Healthy? I am an Avatar of voyeuristic terror, who unquestioned craving for knowledge has condemned the entire world to an eternity of torment; healthy i-isn’t- i,it’s not

I've written this so much on like every test, it lives in my mind rent free, it's hhnrnhrnnh holding it gently <3 like i don't even know what to say, this is a far cry from the whole mag 160 thing where it lived in my head rent free and so does a lot of words about it, here it's just... a lot of reaction images.

ARCHIVIST Why not? It- It’s quiet, here, and I have you.

ARHGHHGHHH

<333

ARCHIVIST No, it’s- I love you, I just— I need more time.

headinhands (good)

AND ALRIGHT CITRUS' FIC FOR TODAY IS SEVEN SLEEPS! WHICH I REALLY LIKE IT AND ITS JUST LIKE ITS JUST LIKE I KNEW WHAT I WAS SIGNING UP FOR, I KNEW WHAT THE OUTCOME WOULD BE, I KNEW WHAT WOULD HAPPEN. and like the whole bloody season it's just like it's just :( CITRUS ::::(((

read it. it's so good.

[beantothemax]

Welcome to 4 Braincell au Hikari’s Chapter 5

The Chapter Begins with Hikari looking over at the Resting Grounds of Ku’s Warriors. A mirror to what Hikari was first doing when he was 18.

(Ritsu: Ready?

Hikari: Hah. I would say yes but that would be a lie.)

Everyone is getting ready for the final battle ahead of them and we get the scene where Ku’s citizens are willing to fight by Hikari’s side to overthrow Mugen. We also get the scene where Benkei is shown to be alive and a scene where Ritsu semi-lightly punches Kazan from keeping this a secret from all of them

This is also the moment when Hikari looks around and realizes Rai Mei is missing to which Kazan only cryptically says that it’s all part of the plan.

(Hikari: …Alright. If you say so Kazan.

Kazan: Do you still doubt the idea that we would not abandon you when the time comes to fight? My Prince, I hope you didn’t forget our scuffle in Stormhail.

Hikari: No no. I didn’t. I just need to clear my head a bit and remind myself of that.)

Ritsu, Hikari, and Kazan all then discuss the plan on how to get through the walls of Ku and the answer Kazan provided is met with Hikari having flat surprise while Ritsu is giving the biggest “WTF” look ever. Hikari and Ritsu both trust Kazan but you know it makes sense that skepticism that attacking the front gates and making a sandstorm.

Jokes on you Ritsu it works. He can control the winds without magic. Stop glaring, you’re just mad you don’t have that good of control on your wind magic and it took Kazan zero magic to do this.

Immediately when the storm clears they all rush through as in canon.

And just like in canon, when Hikari strikes the bell, Clan Mei comes out of hiding and strikes Mugen’s forces.

The thing that changes is that Hikari, Ritsu, Rai Mei, and Kazan canonically all go inside the Castle to defeat Mugen. Extra bonus points if you go and put them all into your party because that would be very good story telling and very satisfying to watch.

We get one less boss in the boss rush because that’s fair. Benkei is busy beating the hell out of Ageha and it’s great.

The moment they all reach the throne room the confrontation happens. Mugen probably tries to dramatically reveal that Kazan was the reason why Ku fell in the first place and. And Hikari, Ritsu, Rai Mei, and Kazan just stand there because. Because that’s been revealed months ago. They talked through that months ago.

The funny version to stop Mugen from talking is Ritsu just throwing a rock at the man and saying he’s an asshole. The more serious and likely version of events is Hikari stepping forward and saying something about how he knew about that long ago and that he chooses to put his trust in Kazan despite everything. Today, he fights for his friends and for peace.

We then cut to “In Pursuit of Kingship” music and cut to “Journey for the Dawn” music in the boss fight against Mugen.

First phase of Mugen is then down and we then get the lovely show of Hikari’s Shadow possessing him. Immediately we have the friend’s take notice and grow concerned.

Here’s the thing though, Mugen is very much gearing himself up to strike Hikari down in his inner turmoil so. Here’s a gambit: Trust that Hikari can conquer the Curse and just focus on defending him from Mugen.

Meanwhile Hikari is doing an internal battle against his Intrusive Thoughts. And so that the Curse battle doesn’t look absolutely stupid like it did in my playthrough (I overleveled Hikari and the Curse only did like 50 damage at a time in my 7000 health pool), the Curse scales with Hikari’s level.

So this is actually distressing for Hikari despite him trying to remain calm. But he keeps his ground and tries to go forward.

And then the Curse tries to take over Hikari and well-

(Ritsu: Hikari, when we first met, I told you that I would etch my name in history, and I still intend to do that. However, I find that there is no glory in walking that path alone. If you allow me to do so, I wish to walk by your side as we rebuild Ku and lead it to a brighter, better tomorrow.)

(Rai Mei: Throughout our youth, we have been told that war will always be by our doorstep and we do best to prepare for it at all times. I accepted this because I thought it was the only way for my Clan to survive. It is thanks to you that I now know better. To truly change things we must challenge the system itself with our heads held high. No longer will I be afraid.)

Oboro: …Oboro. My real name is Oboro. There is still so much I need to tell you and much I am hiding but I believe I can at least share that with all of you. For the longest time, I believed that the world is sick and cruel. And now…I have my doubts on how true that is. If you believe that you can all make the world better and softer, then I’ll live for that world. I’ll live for that world and for that tomorrow.)

Hikari blinks and rushes to Ritsu’s aid as Mugen’s sword comes down.

The moment it shows that Hikari conquered the Curse you can see disbelief just go through Mugen and Oboro while Rai Mei and Ritsu just express joy.

These emotions only last so long as Mugen goes and snaps out of it and just expresses pure anger and grabs the Darkblood Blade.

Cue the grotesque transformation of Mugen and having the final battle be at hand.

Once that battle is finished. We have the gang just go and announce Mugen’s defeat and Hikari’s victory. And the moment that’s settled and the four of them go back inside the castle to go and just pass out for several hours.

Several days later and it’s the day of the Coronation.

(Oboro: The crown suits you better than I could have imagined.

Rai Mei: Indeed. It suits you Hikari.

Ritsu: You look like a fucking dork.

Oboro:

Rai Mei:

Hikari:

Oboro: You er…do look a bit silly in that attire I will have to admit.

Rai Mei: It’a actually quite big on you… I find that your previous clothes were a better fit in a fashion and personality sense.

Hikari: I’m glad to know that no matter my status, you all will find a way to tease me.)

And we get the scene where Hikari ends Imperialism and grants independence to the Kingdoms and Colonies (And I say colonies because 100% Ku had those) Ku controlled.

It soon skips to the hill overlooking Ku and the four friends all looking out in the distance. Peace is going to be a huge effort and will take time…but at the very least, it is closer today than it was yesterday.

(Oboro: A toast to new tomorrow- Wait one second.

Oboro: *throws a crescent moon pendant out into the endless sands*

Oboro: Okay then. Now. A toast to new tomorrows.

Ritsu: Heh. Another secret K- Oboro?

Oboro: Mayhaps.

Rai Mei: When you’re ready, you can tell us. But for now. A toast.

Hikari: A toast. To friends we have made and the tomorrow we shall bring.)

Bonus Ending Card Image: It’s just all of them sleeping on a couch soundly while Benkei quietly puts a blanket on them. They need sleep let them have this.

KIWI IM PICKING YOU UP AND TUCKING YOU INTO BED AND GIVING YOU A PAT ON THE HEAD THIS IS AMAZING AND HILARIOUS AND PERFECT AND I LOVE IT AAAAAAAAA

just!!!!! so many things in this!!!!!!!!! aaaaa!!!!!!!

Kiwi i adore all the little character moments and interactions you inject into these, as always. swing the characters being a little silly or having a glimpse of your commentary during these asks is always a delight to see

the whole time kazan’s doing his whole sandstorm thjng rigsu’s just kicking pebbles and mumbling about he could totally do the same thing with his wind magic.

mugen dramatically revealing that oboro is the reason Ku fell and. the entire gang just being unfazed becuase they talked through taht months ago and then ritsu just throwing a rock at mugen and calling him an asshole is delightful. they’ve all had enough of his shit at this point

AND THE CURSE FIGHT???? SOUNDS AMAZING????? the curse actually scaling with your level and therefore being an actual threat is cool enough but,,,,, the little dialogues from all his friends,,,,, and,,, and hikari breaking past the curse just in time to stop mugen’s sword from hitting ritsu,,,, and ritsu and rai mei being so so proud of him,,!!!!!!!!!!

after the fight ends and everyone calms down the four all just. get into one big bed and sleep for like 3 days. they’ve earned the rest.

the ‘You look like a fucking dork’ from Ritsu made me actually burst out laughing that is PERFECT he would absolutely poke fun at his best friend’s getup during his coronation

also!!!! oboro throwing away his crescent moon pendant!!!!!!!!!!!!! yeah!!!!!!!!!

and the ending card image….. they’re all very eepy. let them get their honk shoo mimimimimi

Kiwi your au’s once again inflict Emotions onto me im going to be thinking about this for. like the next 3 days this is stellar

[synthwwavve]

from the ask list thing— bo-katan, for whichever ones you want/all:D

Aaaaa thank you! I did almost all of them but left out a few that I couldn't think of anything good for. Without further ado--

— a fun headcanon

She is really good at video games, especially FPS and strategy games (naturally.) She grew up kind of a loner and spent most of her teens holed up in her room not knowing what to do with herself, and this was one of her major pastimes.

— a sad headcanon

The scar on her forehead came from a near-miss of being fatally stabbed during an attack on the palace during the civil war, when she was only about 6-7. Fortunately she managed to dodge just enough for the blade to graze her skin and nothing worse. (I have a lot of uh. much sadder headcanons from this same night/event, but I’m not revealing them yet because I want to turn them into a proper fic >:D )

— a headcanon that canon doesn't disprove (yet lol, this could change in mando s3 now that we’re getting more Bo history)

She joined Death Watch ~4-5 years before TCW canon, but continued to feign a normal life in Sundari and a relationship (albeit a strained and not-very-close one) with Satine while actively double-crossing her and plotting to overthrow her behind her back. Satine didn’t find out any of this until right after the shit went down with Death Watch being exposed in general.

— a headcanon to spite canon, specifically

She is somewhere between 23-26 during TCW. Not 17. Not the same age as Satine. Early to mid 20’s. I will die on this hill.

— a headcanon about their family

Mom Kryze was not born a Mandalorian, she was the eldest daughter of a prominent Kalevalan noble family, and was adopted into the culture when she married Adonai... who was not a Duke until he married into her family, just an influential warlord and the head of clan Kryze.

— a missing scene that definitely happened

Not so much a headcanon but a speculation… something fucking intense must have gone down for her to lose the darksaber to Moff Gideon because?? she’s amazing at weilding it as we now see???

— I recognize canon has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, I've elected to ignore it (+ what should have happened)

This is a bit controversial but in my headcanons, I tend to massively dial down her regret, deradicalization, and general arc towards redemption in favor of keeping her unhinged and villainous, just a bit more subdued with age. She’s just so fun and entertaining to me when she’s terrible….. I am happy with the direction they're taking her in current canon too though!

— something they believe about [other character] that isn't true

I headcanon that she had a lot of irrational, sometimes bordering on delusional, hate for her sister that often wasn’t based on anything true, but was founded on a twisted and dramatized misinterpretation of things she believed to be true about Satine and her actions, intentions, ideology, etc.

— their happiest memory

Having her dad's armor reforged to fit her and putting it on for the first time. I feel like it was kind of a “second birth” moment for her.

— favorite fanon relationship

I fucking live for anyone who writes Death Watch era Bo and Gar Saxon as antagonistic barely-frenemies who constantly give each other hell, I don’t know why it’s so funny and perfect to me but it is

— favorite should have been canon relationship

God. listen. not to get on my bullshit but Bo/Pre Vizsla…. Yes as a romantic ship because I'm trash of them, but I also just think more of their relationship and their past together “should have been canon” in the sense that I wish it was explained and fleshed out more, no matter what the nature of their relationship was. I’m dying to know what their history is, how they met, how Bo joined Death Watch, how she ended up his second-in-command, etc. I’m happy with my headcanons but I want to know what officially went down too!

Ask Meme post for anyone who wants it!

[angeltiique]

OH MY GOD.

i just realised.

this is my blog.

i can do whatever i want.

so heres a giant fucking ramble with as many thoughts on Shenggou Ye as i can manage (who if you dont know is an oc belonging to my wonderful best friend reese aka rai aka rai.diate and her story universe Liar Liar Chaos Fire 😁 she doesnt know im doing this, this is for me):

if you dont know how did you NOT know shenggou ye accidentally became a biiiiiiit of a hyperfixation for me (exaggerating). reese and i can't exactly pinpoint when it started but we think its around the time we started a zombie apocolypse roleplay with us two and another friend <3

i love him so much i daydream and fantasise about him every moment i get. i see the colour red, or a wild dog or hyena, something to do with kung fu, or any obscure thing that i manage to tie him to and i go absolutely FERAL. hyenas are now my favourite animal because of him. i see a ricecooker and laugh at how he loves rice because his asian ass is so goofy (just like me fr). i love the colours red and teal which are his main colours. my favourite songs are loose cannon by set it off and mama by mcr which are his songs. he is TAKING OVER MY LIFE /POS

i feel bad that i dont get like this with other characters, especially my other friends and even my OWN, but thats just what ended up happening and i cannot seem to control myself lol

i even made up a list of why i kin him do you want to see it well too bad youre seeing it anyway i told you this is a megapost megalist mega fuckfest okay not a fuckfest but you get the idea:

SHENGGOU KIN MOMENTS:

- large hearts, both literally and metaphorically

- imposter syndrome (self-doubt, feeling like a fraud/liar)

- scared of being disowned/losing loved ones

- making jokes during serious moments (struggling to cope so makes light of the situation = ends up brushing it off/ignoring it)

- loving our best friend from high school fr fr /gen /pl and being so excited when we see them <3

- saying fucky ass and baybee (im the reason he says it LMAOOO)

- gayass motherfuckers (both bi)

- WE BOTH HAVE PUSSIES LMAOOOO and we aren't really dysphoric about it hell yeah (im trans and sheng is intersex 💪)

- lying lying chaos crying (i know a lot of them lie but shhhhhh)

- not being good at voice regulation/shutting the fuck up LMAO (apparently its a sign of autism... shenggou ye autism real!!? /j)

- having silly laughs <3 idk my mama makes fun of my laughs and he has a silly laugh it counts sshhhh

- he probably sits on surfaces weirdly or on places you wouldn't normally sit on, and i sit weirdly so YEAH

- sex jokes? yes please (they are funny !!!)

- dramatic as hell but its because we are silly goofy

- annoying as fuck but its slash pos

and thats all i had but theres probably more in fact im doing things because he does them, like saying "L" LMAOO BUT i mean it in an endearing way 🫶

ive also been calling my mother mama a LOT more like thats WHAT ive been calling her exclusively and i know for a fact its because shenggou calls HIS MOTHER mama and the song mama by mcr again. tsk tsk this hyperfixation is legit taking over. but i love it so much.

hes all i want to daydream about. we (friends and i) have a running joke that he is my husband, i love calling him my dearest darling husband shenggou ye. its great. but i like thinking about him with me during the day, maybe doing something stupid or dangerous and laughing at him, him helping me calm tf down when im stressed. its a weird coping mechanism but strangely effective!! i prefer keeping to myself but thinking about him with me makes me feel more seen and heard and loved. and reese is a bit like him, so its also like having my best friend with me even if shes not really. i like to think i can tell shenggou anything because thats how i feel about her. again, its all really stupid and cringe but its really nice and fun

im only now realising this is probably just turning a friends oc into a para. or like. something like a para. i mean the daydreams do get vivid.. Huh!

anyway thats about all i feel like sharing, i dont expect anyone to see this like all my other posts, i just enjoy screaming into the void and seeing if anyone screams back. let it be known, having weird coping mechanisms is cool and youre so.valid. /gen biggest hugest thank you to my bestie reese for creating this goober i am obsessed with. without her art that captures his handsomeness and her writing that demonstrates his personality i would never have fallen so deeply in love with him to the point of delusion.

Now if you'll Excuse me. i am going to dream the Best dreams (shenggou will be in it). thank you and Goodnight ^_^

[richiekirschs]

Hii !! Can u do a sweet or soft Eddie fic ?? Idk how to explain it actually ... Bcs all I see is smut fics :// so uhm yeah thank you in advanced!!:)))))

yes!! while i would love to do unspeakable things with that man i also feel like he would be a great boyfriend and i wish people wrote more of that

eddie munson x gn!reader (under the cut)

- you and eddie are like an old married couple and the hellfire boys (mostly dustin) love to tease you about it

- during campaigns you sit on the little couch that’s off to the side and read or make a bracelet or something

- he glances over and waves a hand to catch your attention

- “can you hand me—“

- “yeah,” you say, and hand him whatever he’s asking for

- you always know what he’s asking for

“he didn’t even finish,” dustin says. “how’d you do that?”

“they’re magic, henderson,” eddie says, putting on his theatrical grin. “focus back on the game.”

- you never turn down the opportunity to spend the night with him, whether it’s at your place or his

- laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, making the worst jokes ever

- the two of you bursting into laughter, because it’s late and everything is funny

- he teases you about your hiccups afterwards

- he lets you color in his tattoos

- “shit, it’s expensive as hell, but i might have to get that done permanently”

- calling him the worst pet names just to see his smile

- “babycakes? that’s a new low, y/n”

- you being the only one allowed to wear a hellfire shirt without being in the club

- he’s worried you won’t wear it because nobody at school (outside of hellfire, robin, and chrissy) actually like him

- but you show up to school the next day wearing it

- holding eye contact with him while he talks makes him really flustered and then he complains when you won’t stop

- him going out of his way to keep your favorite snacks and drinks stocked at his trailer

“eddie, you don’t even like these. why do you have three bags of them?”

“because i know you eat them.”

- hugging him and sliding your arms underneath his jacket instead of over because he’s always really warm

- him going with you to run errands

“eddie, i’m not doing anything. i’m just grocery shopping and getting gas.”

“i know, but i like being with you.”

- he always asks before he touches you, unless you initiate it, because he knows sometimes people aren’t in the mood to be touched

“eddie, you don’t have to ask before you hold my hand.”

“i’m going to keep asking and you know that.”

- he always offers to drive you places, even if he’s just dropping you off

- especially if it’s dark out

- him apologizing for every little thing because he never wants to upset you

“eddie, i’m not mad that you broke a handle off of a mug. i can superglue it back on. honestly, it’s fine.”

- i feel like he’s really warm all the time and gives really nice hugs

- the thumb thing while you guys are holding hands

- taking care of him when he’s sick

- he gets even more dramatic when he’s sick

“eddie, you’re going to take this fucking pill, or i’m going to sit on you and force it down your throat.”

- he knows you’re serious

- he complains, but takes it

- being around people y’all don’t like and sharing Those looks whenever they say something stupid

- stargazing on the porch of his trailer

- him using one of your shirts as a pillow case

- you on his lap with him trying to teach you how to play guitar

- you make him a little paper ring and you occasionally catch him staring at it the rest of the day

- he takes you out on a date night at least once a week

- him always offering you some of whatever he’s eating/drinking

- him memorizing all of your anxious tics so he can get you out of an uncomfortable situation before it becomes too much for you

- he knows you like the back of his hand

[xhopelesslyromanticx]

Tik Toks and Fights - Jadon Sancho x Reader

Masterlist

summary: In which Jadon hates Tik Tok but also doesn’t want the reader to make them with Jude.

Jadon hated Tik Tok with all his heart. It was partly because you’d send him at least a million videos from the app per day that he rarely found funny. It wasn’t that you two didn’t have the same sense of humor, he just hated people trying to hard to be funny.

He also didn’t like the dance videos or thirst traps but the thing he hated most were the stupid pranks and challenges. That was mostly because you’d always try to pull them on him but nine out of ten times you just failed miserably anyways.

For example when you tried the whole I paid 500 pounds for windshield wiper fluid he just laughed at you and hit you with a „First of all woman; you don’t even know how to drive and you sure as hell do not own a car. And if you paid 500 pounds on my car, well thank you very much. That be some luxury wiper fluid you go there.“

Or when you put down the passenger seat in his car, like you had fooled around with someone in there, he just got in and chuckled as he wiggled his eyebrows „Well is that and invitation?“

All you could do is hit his shoulder playfully before bursting out into laughter. You started posting these failed Tik Tok pranks calling them „Trying to prank my smartass boyfriend chronicles.“

Jadons fans obviously thought the videos where hilarious, they always loved seeing more content of him as he hadn’t been that active on social media as of lately. And with you using your platform to embarrass him, people at least got to see some of him.

„She brought a buddy in…What you studying?" you sang along to the sound playing over the speakers from the living room as you prepared yourself some dinner in Jadons kitchen while he was playing some games with his football friends in the living room. "Education, that’s where the money is... You think you funny huh?"

„Yeah, I’m the funniest.“ you heard a voice appear as you looked up to see Jude walk into the kitchen also vibing along to the song.

„You know this song?“ you giggled, holding up your carrot as you tried to find some sort of peeler in Jadons cabinets.

„Of course. It’s like all over Tik Tok.“ Jude chuckled, leaning himself over the black marble kitchen counter as he watched you prepare your salad, playing with the sleeves of his hoodie.

„You have Tik Tok?“ you looked at Jude with wide eyes, your heart fluttering. Finally someone who got what you were talking about.

You could hear Jadon yell at someone in the living room making you chuckle, he really loved gaming a little too much.

„Yes.“ Jude shrugged, never would having admitted it to his friends „But don’t tell Jadon and the lads.“

„I won’t.“ you smiled, pressing your lips together as you continued to chop your vegetables. Feeling Judes eyes still on you, you squinted your eyes together „You know what? I have a really funny idea.“

You were laying on the floor of Jadons bathroom, holding your stomach that was hurting from laughing too hard while Jude laid next to you, tears falling down his cheeks as he rewatched the video of the two of you over and over again.

„This is so embarassing.“ he chocked out, seeing the video was already accumulating quite the views.

You two had just spent half an hour in the bathroom making a Tik Tok. After a while you had agreed on one specific challenge that seemed to be possible and funny to do together and the result was just hilarious.

„No! What are you talking about? This is great, you should be an actor.“ you chuckled, wiping the corner of your eyes „The way you deliver that; you’ve been shaking your ass for like half of the heights, is just spot on.“

Jude chuckled, keeping on watching your rendition of the whole „In the heights“ - musical sound. The one were they argue, in the most hilarious way. You had to admit you truly smashed it.

„You’re not so bad yourself.“ Jude laughed, watching you act super dramatic in the video.

You two were ripped out of your day dreaming by the bathroom door being bursted open. In entered your boyfriend, his sweatpants almost falling down as he had his gaming headset hanging around his neck losely. He was followed by Marcus and Reiss, all of thena looking confused. You proped your head up to lookat the guys, still laying on the floor.

Jadon looked at Jude and you with furrowed eyebrows, the controller still in his hand „What the fuck are you guys doing?“

„Yes we have been calling for you since like twenty minutes Bellingham.“ Reiss added, obviously just wanting to continue gaming.

You looked at Jude, who was trying his hardest not to laugh as he pressed your phone against his chest. Marcus raised his eyebrows, slightly smirking as he saw you guys were internally dying.

„We just…“ you chuckled, sitting up as Jude got up from the ground uncomfortable by Jadons stare on him „Recorded a Tik Tok.“

„What?“ Jadon hissed, completely lost as Marcus behind him also started laughing while covering his mouth with his hand. He knew exactly what was going on in Jadons mind right now.

„I wanna see.“ Reiss squealed, pushing past his friend as he tried to grab Judes phone but the guy defended it with all his life.

„No!“ you laughed, running your hands through your hair as you looked at Jadon, who looked kind of pissed „It’s just a Tik Tok chill.“

„Show me.“ you boyfriend sternly stated, making you roll your eyes. He could be so overdramatic sometimes.

„Not with that attitude.“ you crossed your arms, rolling your eyes at Jadons childish behavior.

Jude had his eyes wide open, not knowing why Jadon was this pressed about this but also understanding this didn’t look good for him. It didn’t take long for Marcus to pull out his own phone and the sound from the video you had just recoreded appearing. Marcus looked kind of hesistant but obviously thought it was funny before Jadon snatched the phone out of his hand. Reiss jumping to his friends side as they watched the video over and over again.

At first they both looked confused but soon Reiss started chuickling, agreeing it was funny but Jadons expression didn’t change. He just looked at the video unimpressed while you and Jude stood there awkwardly waiting for him to say something.

„Wait a minute.“ Jadon hissed, when realization hit him „You actually posted this?“

It got dead silent in the room as you hesitantly nodded „Yeah it’s just a funny video Jadon. You need to calm down.“

Jadon clenched his jaw, looking at Jude as he handed over the phone to Reiss again. Basically shoving it in his face. He walked up to the two of you and what he did next kind of surprised you. Out of nothing he just pushed Jude back. The guy obviously stumbled back, not having exected the sudden violent outburst. Which was totally unnecessary in your opinion.

„Yo Jadon chill!“ Marcus and Reiss now rushed, to hold Jadon back while you just watched the whole thing confused. Your boyfriend was acting like a literal five year old, throwing a tantrum. What did he lose in his game or something?

„What the fuck is your problem Jadon?“ you now yelled, not recognizing your otherwise loving boyfriend „It’s literally just a fucking video!“

Jadon just glared at Jude, shaking his head „Don’t you even dare to touch her like that again, she’s my fucking girlfriend Bellingham.“

Seriously? His problem was the slight body contact the two of you had in the video. God, this was hopeless. You were humiliated by your boyfriends embarassing behavior, just standing there with crossed arms.

„Now delete the fucking video.“ Jadon spat at you as you gasped and took a step back.

„Who the fuck do you think you’re talking to?“

„Just delete it Y/n.“ Jude sighed, wanting to disappear from the surface from the earth just about now.

„Don’t you talk to her Bellingham.“ Jadon spat at Jude, making Marcus who was still holding him by his shoulders shake his head. At least someone saw how immature Jadon was acting.

„Honestly fuck off Jadon.“ you spat at your boyfriend, grabbing your phone from Jude. You deleted the video with your jaw clenched, shaking your head before pushing past your boyfriend and his friends and walking out the bathroom. And it was safe say: you were freaking pissed off.

You scrolled through your hundreds of Tik Tok comments of people asking why you had delted the video with Jude. But the video had already been copied and uploaded all over the app and people loved it. You were sitting on the couch, cozied up in your blanket as the house was dead silent.

After the guys left Jadon immediately hopped in the shower while you just sat there thinking bout all the ways he had pissed you off tonight. His overdramatic and overprotective ass robbing your last nerves.

„No honestly.“ you groaned into your phone, talking to your best friend „He was such an asshole. It was just a funny video.“

„He was just jealous silly.“ Lauren chuckled on the other end of the line „I think it’s quite endearing to be honest.“

You fake gagged, never having found a guy getting angry for no reason endearing in your life. What was wrong with women sometimes?

„Now come on Y/n.“ she laughed, as you sighed „At least you finally got a reaction out of him.“

„Well. I guess.“ you muttered, furrowing your eyebrows knowing she was onto something.

„Maybe you could actually use this to your advantage.“

You pretended to watch TV, hearing Jadon make himself dinner in the kitchen. Both of you not saying a word as you watched „Too hot to handle“ with crossed arms and a frown. After a while a freshly showered Jadon entered the living room, wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants, making it hard to be mad at him when he looked like that.

You tried not to stare at his abs as he held out a plate towards you, seeing he had finished making the salad you had prepared earlier. You looked up at him with pursed lips before shrugging „Not hungry.“

Jadon sighed, putting your plate down on the already messy coffee-table. Bags of chips and empty cans being spread out all over it. Your boyfriend sat down next to you so closely that you were suprised he didn’t just sit on top of you. The touch of his bare arm against yours triggering you unbelievably as he started eating his own salad, eyes glued on the television.

„Seriously Jadon.“ you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the fact that he smelled like literal heaven „Can you breath any louder?“

Jadon chuckled, shaking his head at the weird attack coming from his girlfirend „Sorry I’m trying to live.“

„Well-“ you tried not to start laughing, crossing your arms in a petty manner „Do it a little more quiet, I’m trying to watch this show.“

„What you watching that for anyways?“ he groaned, looking at the TV „It sucks.“

„Whatever.“ you rolled your eyes once again, at his smartass behavior. This was typical Jadon, just always knowing everything better.

You tried to focus on the television again, feeling Jadons eyes glued on you from the side. It didn’t take long for him to place his plate down on the table before turning towards you. Wrapping his arm around your body as he buried his face in the crook of your neck.

„Okay. Fine.“ Jadon sighed as you felt his lips against your neck making you shiver slightly „I apologize baby. I shouldn’t have reacted like that.“

You didn’t say anything as Jadon started kissing your neck, playing with your hair as you just sat there smirking. Not believing you were really about to do what you had been planning.

You moaned slightly as Jadon found that soft spot, throwing your head to the side a little. His hand wandering under your sweater as he roamed your body.

„Don’t stop Jude.“ you whimpered, trying your hardest to make it sound as natural as possible without immediately starting to laugh.

Jadon immediately froze as you continued to act completely oblivious. He pulled away from you with furrowed eyebrows, looking unsure if he had just heard you right.

„Why did you stop?“ you asked, innocently biting your lips as your boyfriend looked like he was about to lose his mind.

„I know you didn’t just call me by that little wastemans name.“ your boyfriend muttered and god was he making it hard not to laugh. Wasteman? Seriously Jadon.

„What?“ you awkwardly laughed, shaking your head and scratching your neck „I said Jadon.“

Jadon raised his eyebrows, shaking his head and scrunching his nose „No you just moaned Judes name.“

„I didn’t.“ you lied, looking at your boyfriend who sat there with crossed arms.

„You did!“ he hissed, trying to read your face „It was as clear as day. You said; don’t stop Jude.“

„I-I…“ you stuttered, truly not knowing what to say but glad he was actually falling for this.

„Not got anything to say?“ Jadon asked, sassily tilting his head.

„No. I don’t know.“ you nervously fumbled with your sleeves „Maybe I said it because he has just been on my mind.“

Jadon ripped open his eyes, not believing what you were saying and that you actuallyjust admited to it „So little wasteman is on your mind while I kiss you?“

„No!“ you squealed, shaking your head and throwing up your hands in a defensive manner „Because of what happened this afternoon.“

„That isn’t an excuse.“ Jadon propped himself up, angrily grabbing his plate again. Starting to dig into his salad „Tell you, I’m glad I made you delete that video. After all, turns out you fully thinking about him and stuff.“

„Jadon.“ you chuckled, not being able to keep it in any longer. He was just naturally funny.

„Nah honestly.“ he shook his head, chewing on his salad „My girlfriend has fallen in love with Mr. Elevator boy.“

That made you laugh even more which made Jadon furrow his eyebrows „What’s so funny?“

You covered your face with your hand as you pointed at the coffee table with the other one „I actually got you this time.“

„You didn’t!“ Jadon ripped his eyes wide open, looking at the phone propped up and neatly hidden under all the mess on the table.

„Yes!“ you clapped your hands together before grabbing your phone and poninting it at a speechless Jadon „Say it! Say that I got you this time!“

„Fine!“ Jadon chuckled, rolling his eyes „You got me but this isn’t going anywhere. Trying to keep it PG 13 aren’t we?“

You giggle stopping the recording as you turned of the phone. You knew you couldn’t post the videos but were still glad you finally had pranked Jadon.

„So was Jude acting all thirsty also part of the prank?“ Jadon asked as you rolled your eyes.

„No sorry, unfortunately that one was real.“ you shrugged your shoulders, looking at your boyfriend „But you know my boyfriend doesn’t wanna make Tik Toks with me, so I had to come up with something.“

„Alright.“ Jadon sighed, placing down his plate again before pulling you in towards him like you were a teddy bear. He attacked your face with kisses, making you giggle „That tickles.“

„I don’t care.“ Jadon continued kissing you, his arms wrapped around you „All though I hate to admit it, I don’t want you to make Tik toks with other guys. Especially Jude Wasteman Bellingham.“

„Jeez Jadon.“ you laughed, looking up at him „I promise I won’t ever do it again.

[puckyess]

Hey! I’m not sure if your still doing the prompt thing for the UMich guys and if not that’s totally fine! But I was wondering if you could do #41 and #45 for Mark Estapa.

41. “You need some sleep.”

45. “Sleep is for the weak.”

Mark jolted as something sticky hit his cheek and bouts of laughter echoed through the room. He wiped at the residue on his face and grimaced when he picked up the sticky, half chewed fruit snack that had fallen into his lap. “What the hell, dude?” he questioned, waiting for the culprit to confess. Ethan shrugged, “you said to keep you awake until y/n called and you were falling asleep.” “I meant by like yelling at your video games or something, not throwing your half eaten food at me,” Mark grumbles. He was beyond tired, but the week had been a blur and he’d be damned if he missed the first real chance he had to talk to you tonight. Even if that meant subjecting himself to his obnoxious teammate just to keep his eyes open. Ethan pops another fruit snack in his mouth, “you didn’t clarify.”

On cue his phone vibrates in his lap. The involuntary smile on his face makes Eddy throw another wet fruit snack at him just as he answers your Facetime. You screech when the red glob is the first thing you see on the screen. “You don’t wanna know” Mark says, peeling it off and chucking it at his friend. Eddy dodges and calls his hello to you before escaping the room with a cackle. You giggle at their antics, missing being around the chaos.

“How was girls’ night, baby?” Mark starts the conversation, settling into his bed for the night, now that the pest is gone and he finally has his girl’s attention. You loved watching him situate the pillows so that they wouldnt fall between the wall and him climb in just to readjust his position 3 times before he was satisfied with the level of comfort. It made you think of the countless times he’d make you wait until he got everything just-so for cuddle time. Your slightly drunken state made you extra soft at the memory.

“Ugh it was so much fun, you’ll never believe what Rachel got herself into this time” you tell him, easily launching into her latest boy drama. You knew Mark probably couldn’t care less, but he manages a dramatic “oh boy, what happens on the next episode of the Rachel Show?”. Her love life really could be a reality show, made all that much funnier by your stable and happy relationship pov. He’s entertained by the way you laugh before you even get to the funny part and have to backtrack and fill in information as you go. You were quite possibly the worst story teller, a fact made worse by your wine brain as you called it, but he eats every second of it up, gasping in the appropriate places and peppering questions in here and there. Even at 1 in the morning you were animated, talking with your hands and bopping around as you got ready for bed.

Your flushed cheeks and the way your face softens as you continue to wipe more and more of your makeup off makes mark’s heart ache for you. He missed waiting for you in bed to finish your nightly routine or sitting on the counter and watching you. He doesn’t realize he’s frowning until he sees you pout. “Mark, i am too drunk and it is too late for you to be giving me those sad eyes right now. You’re gonna make me cry.” he knows it’s true, which makes him chuckle. “That is not funny” you tell him, but he’d earned a smile from you nonetheless.

“I’m just thinking about that time i picked you up from girls’ night and you had tears streaming down your face”

Knowing exactly which time he was referencing (yes, there were multiple), you burst out laughing, “and you were so concerned and ready to kick someone’s ass.”

“But really you just had thought you saw a stray dog and you were so sad that it didn’t have a home.”

“And then you pointed out that it was just on a leash that i couldn’t see from across the street.” you chuckle, finishing the story for him. it was stupid, you knew it was but it was one of those things that always got brought up and never failed to make you laugh every time.

“Enough making fun of me, how was your night?”

Mark rolls his eyes, “well i’m sure you can get the gist of it from the way this facetime started.”

“Ethan annoying the shit out of you? At least nothing’s changed”

Mark laughs at that, knowing eddy loved to get on your nerves as much as his. He paid extra special attention to bugging you whenever you came to visit. He knew you loved him just as much too. Really they all liked to annoy you or more accurately mark when you were around.

He goes on to tell you about the prank nick had pulled on dylan which made tears prick your eyes when he sent you the video evidence to go along with his storytelling. You trade stories and nothings about your day and week, catching up on all that was missed, until he yawns and gets that sleepy smile on his face. The one that tells you you need to wrap it up, but you really dont want to and apparently he doesnt either. “You need some sleep. You have a game tomorrow and class and you actually need to go this time,” you playfully scold him.

He grins back at you. “Sleep is for the weak. I wanna talk to you”

“But baby. Im doing all the talking” you tease him.

“Don't you always?” he teases you right back.

You couldn’t help that you always got an extra burst of energy around him and just felt the imminent need to share everything with him. And most of the time that came in the form of rattling off every last thought that came to your brain.

You feign offense and pretend to hang up the phone, but he doesn’t panic. “Stay on with me just a little longer, i’ll do the talking,” he bargains and you’re never one to deny him what he wants.

You switch roles, him shifting to sit up more and be more alert and you sinking into your pillows, propping his face up next to you as you lay on your side. He asks if you’ve heard anything about the new restaurant that opened up in town because he saw the menu and thinks you’d like it and promises to take you when you come visit again. He also shares that eddy tried to poison him with a new recipe two days ago, which you believe completely. “I don't know why you still let him try to cook. Last time i was there he almost burned nolan’s kitchen down,” you yawn. “Well he had supervision this time. And he used the grill so there was less of a danger.” “clearly” you giggle. The buzz in your system slowly starts to fade and the drowsiness takes over, making your eyelids feel heavy, but you can still see the soft look on his face when he echoes your words from just a few minutes ago, “you need some sleep.” your lips lazily lift into a smile and you hear yourself say, “Sleep is for the weak.” and Mark’s soft chuckle before giving into sleep.

[awesomefringey]

Do you think sometimes people take the ‘jealous!harry’ ‘jealouslouis!’ A bit too literally? Like I’m sure in the grand scheme of things a 17 year old boy knows Liam play fighting with a Louis or joking around/putting his arm around him isn’t the end of the world, especially when it was still early enough Harry and Louis could still publicly interact. He’s not actually plotting to shoot Liam with his laser beam eyes lol. I think I just mean more like people will see Harry glance at Louis talking to Liam and look away and it’s like ‘omggg he’s so jealous’ incorporated into a slow mo ‘evidence’ video so sometimes it makes us come across like 13 year old naive fangirls. Maybe I’m just being a cyanic I know some people do just like to play it up for fun but I do wonder if some people really think anything like that =jealousy at it’s finest

But then again this is 2 lovestruck teens in love and everything was such a big deal and end of the world back then so they probably were and just are jealous little bfs

I personally think Harry and Louis are indeed quite jealous or can at least show annoyance when the other is affectionate with someone else in public (when it can’t be them) or they might even do it on purpose. Let me give you examples.

Harry’s face watching Zouis vibing practically says “it’s not that funny Zayn”. He looks like he’s moping. Maybe not jealous but feeling left out.

Or here, you can see Louis catch Harry rubbing Liam’s ear lobe and he can’t even stop his “Do me a favor?!?!??” on TV. Harry knows what’s up. There’s tension. Is it jealousy? General annoyance about Harry getting cheeky with Liam? Not sure. But it’s there.

On the other hand, I agree that people blow moments out of proportion to produce their Jealous!Louis or Jealous!Harry meme and then suddenly it turns into a fact.

For instance, when Harry death stares at James it started as a joke that Harry was jealous. It was just a funny meme. Because obviously Harry just tries to compose himself here for the “scene” but also tries holding back a smile. There’s no jealousy involved. I think Harry was very proud actually and tried to contain his fond.

So my general stance is that their situation is extremely unique and everything you and I find to be an appropriate reaction, an appropriate feeling towards a partner, doesn’t necessarily apply to them.

Louis and Harry have displayed great possessiveness towards each other very early on. Yes, they cuddled with everyone in the band, but these two were… intense. They constantly tried to reassure each other when in public, knowing they have to pretend they are just friends.

And when they were restrained from doing that these two went as far as to get complimentary tattoos amidst of Haylor. Was it driven by jealousy? Heartache? Yearning? Insecurity? Who knows, but they did it. And they did it again. And again.

So what I’m saying is, I wouldn’t have gotten a couple’s tattoo with my boyfriend at 19. My mother would have shaken me. I wouldn’t get all flustered when my boyfriend got cuddly with the other lads who I know are like brothers to him. I wouldn’t get weird because my boyfriend held the hand of said bro during an interview.

But then again, I wasn’t closeted. I wasn’t deeply in love with someone in a band that I was also part of. Whose hand I wasn’t allowed to grab anytime. I wasn’t asked to fake date older people to keep the tabloids interested. I didn’t have to watch my boyfriend hold hands with another woman and say that’s his girlfriend when it was actually me. I didn’t have to watch my boyfriend deny any rumors of us being in love when he told me exactly that just backstage.

So hell, what do I know if we read into things too much and we are looking stupid or if Louis and Harry are indeed overly dramatic in every aspect to cope with the overly dramatic situation their hearts were put through since they were teenagers. I do think they’ve gotten better in reassuring one another over the years, else a long distance relationship wouldn’t survive.

[thunderheadfred]

🦅Hawks HC’s🦅

This is SO unnecessarily long. Some NSFW. Minors do not interact.

- - - - -

General

Has zero social life or hobbies outside of work. He knows it’s unhealthy, but like, who has the time?? Oh? Lots of people do?? Haha what are healthy work/home boundaries? He desperately wants to retire and always talks about a world without heroes, but the truth is he would have no idea what to do with himself if he got his way. Take him to a park at midnight and watch him turn into a giant repressed child on a swing. He’ll do a standing-360 and it will be terrifying.

Listens to music way too loud in his headphones to drown out wind noise. Probably half deaf at this point. His musical taste is wild; listening history all over the fucking place. Algorithms have no idea what to do with him.

That visor? It’s prescription. Wow is he far-sighted. He wears glasses. He’s not blind without them (rather the opposite) but they help him see things directly in front of him without massive eye strain. Yeah, he looks really hot in glasses.

Prefers communicating via text. Sometimes it’s a lot of dumb memes, but mostly it’s sincere. He can say what he means when he doesn’t have to put on a public front.

Smokes like a chimney. Self medicates with stimulants. Coffee, tobacco, sugar. Fidgety, likes things in his mouth or hands. Gnashes on toothpicks and popsicle sticks. He really should go back to therapy, huh? His teeth are sparkling white for the cameras but his breath could use some work. Chews gum a lot to compensate, and always does it really loudly with a big shit-eating grin.

Impatient as fuuuuuck. Rude about it. If you take too long doing anything, you’re going to hear a foot tapping. He’ll smile and laugh it off, never ever directly criticize you about it. But lord, the dramatic sighs. He WILL nudge you out of the way and take over in order to finish a task faster, and it’s truly fucking annoying.

LOVES food. Has the metabolism of an actual bird. Will seize upon any excuse to eat. No need to be self-conscious about eating in front of him; he wants you to enjoy it. Steals bites from you and talks with his mouth full. Prefers street food and take-out, usually eats while walking or flying. Sit-down restaurants are an invitation for gawkers.

He’s one of those celebrities that looks way taller on TV. In real life, he’s small and compact. So you’re surprised the first time you see him in person. He has a big head. Literally.

If you’re taller or bigger than him, he does Not Care. He treats everyone like they’re four feet tall, even Endeavor. Everything you do is cute. If you’re actually short, he’s going to carry you around all the time, and there’s nothing you can do about it.

Collects big chunky overpriced watches. All the better to tell you you’re late.

Half his clothes are brand fucking new. Sometimes he forgets to take off the tags. (Don’t look at the prices, do NOT) He never seems to wear the same thing twice. He also never seems to go shopping. Brands just give him stuff, and he shrugs and goes “yeah okay.”

The other half of his clothes are old, faded, and patched up. Every item he acquires for himself has deep sentimental value. If you tell him to throw away that nasty ten-year-old pair of frayed cargo pants, be prepared to find out how wrong and evil you are for even suggesting it.

He doesn’t snore; he coos. Loudly. Like a fucking pigeon trapped in a megaphone.

- - - - -

Dating

Gift-giving is his love language. Bringing your favorite snacks. Leaving novelty magnets on your fridge. He found a copy of that book/game/movie you mentioned like a month ago, don’t you remember? If he has to go out of town on a job, he’ll bring back the ugliest possible souvenir, just to annoy you.

He likes gifting jewelry especially. Covering you in shiny baubles, little golden things. Not expensive, but unusual. Antiques or handmade, even bizarre vending machine crap. Gets really handsy if you wear or show off his gifts.

Since you’re the first person who has given him The Feels, if you are resistant to his advances (like, say, because he’s way too famous and you’re terrified he’s gonna break your heart) he’s going to go fucking nuts trying to woo you. Doesn’t have a single patient bone in his body but will wait as long as it takes for you to come around. He’ll act like he’s cool with just being friends at first, just hanging out, haha. Oh you’re busy today? That’s cool. Inside he’s shrieking like a tea kettle. Go ahead, make him wait.

Don’t bother giving him a key to your place. He’s coming in through the bedroom window or patio door. Just put out a damn welcome mat on your balcony... or a bird feeder.

A bit of a voyeur. He likes to watch you do your normal routine without interruption. He can see from miles away so if you’ve got your lights on at night, he’ll creep for a while before he comes in. It comforts him immensely, seeing a little slice of the world that isn’t constantly in need of saving.

Is super talkative and funny but a terrible communicator. Makes more jokes the worse he feels. Will almost never tell you what he needs. Most of the time, he doesn’t even know. You will learn to read between the lines and gradually notice his tiny unconscious cries for help. Back rubs make him emotional.

He shows up at your place at the weirdest times. All hours. You’re never ready. At first it was infuriating, because you wanted to look your best and have time to prepare, but you figure out pretty quickly that seeing you in your natural state is his favorite thing. He never gets to be around normal people, doing normal things. A boring, lazy afternoon is his idea of paradise.

He’ll pick through your things and ask a world of invasive questions. A medicine cabinet raider. He wants to know every fucking tiny thing about you, live vicariously through you.

He actually lives in a top floor penthouse. Because I mean, where else? Never spends any time there; mostly he seems to roost on the balcony. He has used the front door maybe once. He much prefers your place, and will only take you back to his after months of dating. It’ll take like, an entire emergency. You’ll end up in his bed by mistake.

Because when you finally come over, he’s embarrassed. Its sparse. White. Things in boxes. A new furniture smell. Like he’s not done moving in, though he’s lived there for years. He wants you to move in So Bad but doesn’t want to be pushy. If you don’t start leaving your stuff there, he’ll steal things from your apartment. Where the hell is your favorite t-shirt? Or that pillowcase you like? Dammit Keigo.

He’s a decent cook, a habit he made himself pick up because he thought it might make him feel more normal. It... didn’t. He never actually cooks until you give him an excuse. He’ll bring you breakfast in bed and watch you eat every bite with big hungry eyes.

He’s got a separate wardrobe for his hero costume and all his feathers. Yeah. His feathers. Because he can detach and control his feathers at will, when he’s alone at home he kind of just... shucks off his wings. The first time you see him do it, your eyes fall out of your head. He walks around in a tee shirt and boxers with these ugly little stumps covered in brownish, blood-red down. It actually looks kind of gnarly, like he got mauled by a bear.

He’s never dated until you. No one has ever been in his apartment until you. No one has called him Keigo until you. He has some bigass intimacy issues. Because. Y’know. The trauma. But god, he wants you in his life so bad, even if he has no idea how to make time for your relationship.

He’ll want to keep you to himself for a while. Once you go public he’s going to have an arm around your shoulders at all times. Publicly Displays his Affection way more than is socially acceptable in Japan, and gives precisely -100,000 fucks.

His fans either love you or hate you. There is no in between. He will immediately take your phone and threaten to drop it from a great height if he catches you reading shitty gossip about the two of you. Does NOT care about his public image anymore, doesn’t want YOU to care about it either. He’s gonna retire soon anyway, remember? That’s a lie.

Being a charming motherfucker is the core of his public persona, so you will get jealous. A lot. He will flirt shamelessly without realizing it. He will get photographed in compromising positions with gorgeous people.

Once you accept that he’s basically an actor 80% of the time and that Hawks and Keigo are separate identities, you’ll both feel better. When he comes home (to YOU) and falls over exhausted and stops being Hawks(tm), when he scratches his ass or burps in front of you, when he yells to you from the bathroom, when he groans childishly about his shitty day while laying face-down in your lap, you’ll know you have nothing to worry about. Keigo is all yours.

Boundaries? Never heard of ‘em. He’s either a million lightyears away or he’s glued to your hip. The whiplash is astounding.

Absolutely says “I love you” wayyyyyy to soon. It thrills you but scares you off at the same time, because there’s no way Hawks - The Hawks - can actually mean it, right? (He does)

Rings? Nah. When things get serious, he will make a necklace out of a feather for you, and if you ever take it off, you better be asleep or in the shower. Even then you’re on thin fuckin ice. If you’re not wearing it he knows. He’s never mean about making you put it back on, it just makes him nervous if he can’t feel your heartbeat.

- - - - -

SPICY CHICKEN NUGGETS

High sex drive. Horny like 25/7. Probably a symptom of having way too much pent up stress.

Often takes care of it himself when he doesn’t have the emotional resources for anyone else, even his S.O. Figures you don’t want him coming on to you as often as he would like to, but he’s too stupid to talk to you about it first. Morning masturbator.

Yes he’s fucked around a lot but he’s not exactly a playboy either. People have always thrown themselves at him, and before he met you he let them do it. Especially when out of town and staying in a hotel. Whatever happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, etc.

He’d never be unfaithful to you though; his loyalty and dedication are frankly a little unsettling. Sometimes you feel like the only thing in his life other than hero work. Teach this man to knit. Make him join a book club. Christ. Anything.

Does in fact have seasonal mating patterns and it’s super embarrassing.

An underwear-sniffing perv. He’ll definitely hump your pillow.

Gets a sick thrill out of breaking in and startling you. Coming up behind you in the dark, sneaking into your bed. It’s probably his worst habit, and even he hates that he does it. If you get better at detecting him he’ll be so proud. Land a slap on him and he’ll be a horny mess.

Dog-whistles at you. Often from rooftops, and you have no idea where he is but you know he’s leering.

He will call you a lot of really stupid pet names. He likes the way you blush when he finds a newer, stupider one. Calls you angel when he’s really far gone.

Likes to scratch you with his stubble until your skin turns raw and sensitive. If it annoys you or hurts a little? Even better. Making you squirm is his new favorite thing. Especially when going down on you. Your inner thighs are always exfoliated.

His cock is average in every respect. This is not a bad thing. He knows how to please you with every totally normal inch of that cock. He has some kind of homing beacon installed on your sensitive spots.

Goes absolutely insane for blowjobs. Any time, any place.

Likes to bend you around in all kinds of positions with an assist from his feathers to hold up an ankle here, an arm there. Get used to floating mid-coitus. It just seems to happen.

Spanky.

His number one priority is making you feel adored and at home in his bed. Ohhhhh he likes to make you smile. But if you encourage him to get pushy and dominant with you, you will have a good, good time.

He’s switchy, and will lose his shit if you initiate or take control. Again, he’s always horny for you, because he can finally let go. Breathe in his direction and he’s hard.

Doesn’t moan much, but Babe, he’s a dirty talker. He’s not smooth or deliberate about it, it’s more like he can’t fucking believe you let him do whatever he wants to you. You like that huh? Like he’s in stages of shock. He’s singing your praises to high Heaven and muttering oh shit oh shit oh shittttttt and laugh-crying as he cums. He never talks about his feelings; he fucks about them.

After. Care. King. He loves pampering and clucking over you anyway, this is simply another excuse to do it. He knows exactly how much water you drink in a day. Can’t take care of himself for shit, but you? You’ll never have a need he won’t try to fill. What’s all that hero work for if not this? Yeah, soak it up. You deserve it.

[midgardianweasley]

Your grace! Bless us with a Natasha x reader where the team is invited to a wedding by a close friend of Tony’s. Then when the bridal bouquet is thrown, the bride throws it too hard where reader accidentally catches it and the team is just going “Oooooh!” And reader is like “I’m not even in a relationship!” But the team know in secret that reader and Natasha have feelings for each other but are too dumb to know. Just funniness and fluff! 🥰😍 (Your writing is brilliant btw!)

I loved this request!! I hope i did it justice <3

it’s a wedding thing

Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader

^idk Nat, you tell me^

Summary: When the Avengers get invited to a close friend of Tony's wedding, what hidden feelings will surface? What relationships will bloom? Who will be the next bride?

Warnings: none!

word count: 4.1k

Message/ask if you want to be added to the taglist!

requests are open loves

“Alright gang, this one’s for all of us, we all listening?”

A cluster of ‘yes’ ‘go on’ ‘come on Tony’ filled the room, everyone eager to hear what the fancy envelope held inside. It was amusing to watch Tony take advantage of everyone’s excitement, slowly peeling the envelope, gasping when he pulled the letter out of the casing slightly, not letting anyone else see what was written on it.

You, Natasha and Wanda all seemed to share a look of amusement at the dramatics and the almost visible frustration coming off of everyone. It was like watching children try to wait patiently for sweets in a shop, almost completely off of their seats. It wasn’t until Tony noticed that Pepper was giving him a warning look, that he, begrudgingly, hurried up and announced what was written on the letter.

“Wow. Caleb’s getting married.” He spoke, eyebrows raised in surprise. “And he’s invited the team.”

“Well, I’m not going.” A voice spoke from the corner of the room, clearly un-amused by what was currently going on.

“Luckily for you, I don’t see ‘reindeer games’ anywhere on the invitation. So you’re off the hook.” He replied with a tight lipped smile, Thor had been visiting recently to see Jane and pay the avengers a visit and wanted to bring Loki to meet her.

‘A pleasant trip’ Thor said.

‘A living hell’ Tony corrected.

It got a laugh out of the team though. Nat and I especially. We’d spent the last couple of nights in each other’s bedrooms, making a list about our favourite moments through the day where Tony and Loki clashed, making stupid insults towards the other. I think it’s safe to say that we went through multiple bags of popcorn over the nights, though you were both thankful it was there, it was the only thing muffling the laughter, if it hadn't, you’re almost certain the entire compound would have woken up at the sound of our laughter.

You nudged Natasha’s side gently, the bicker between the two men still continuing.

“Hey, Nat.” She turned and tilted her head questioningly.

“So we know how a physical fight between those two worked out. But, if they had to compete in a rap battle, who do you think would win?”

Her face immediately lit up, eyes sparkling which only enhanced their beauty, you could almost feel the cogs turning in her head, trying to go through every logical option.

“Well. Loki seems pretty well spoken, so vocabulary wise, I think he’d be strong. But Tony is sarcastic which can help with quick quips. But then again, Loki-”

“Hey lovebirds, Romanoff, Y/L/N” Tony clicked his fingers, earning himself a pair of eyerolls at the term he’d used. “Anything you wanna share with the team, or can we move on?”

“Actually-”

“Overridden. Moving on.”

You looked towards Natasha, snickering slightly at how blunt he’s being, Loki having found his way under his skin again. A part of you felt bad for the man, but that feeling is soon replaced by amusement. It was obvious Nat felt the same way, her sharing the same expression as you, although, you could hide yours much better. She had to physically put her hand over her mouth in the hopes the man wouldn’t notice her.

“So, the wedding is next week, a little short notice but when do we ever have enough notice, who’s in?”

Looking around the room, there were a handful of nods, each looking to see who else was going to go. You looked towards Nat again to see if she was planning on attending, only to find her already staring at you.

“So Y/L/N, up for a wedding?”

“It would be a nice change of pace. Are you going?”

“Only if you are” You blushed slightly at the response.

“Better get your nicest dress on Romanoff.” You winked, her turn to blush and focus back on what the rest of the group was saying.

“It’s probably easy if I list couples first on the RSVP and then the singles.” Tony took a glance around the table, mentally taking note of those who had shown signs of agreement. “So there’ll be Wanda and Vision, Legolas and his wife, Romanoff and Y/L/N, Thor and Jane-” You felt your face morph into one of confusion.

“Woah woah, Tony, back up, what did you say?”

“Thor and Jane, they’re-”

“Before that.”

“I’ve said this before Y/N, Legolas isn’t actually real. I meant Clint.”

“Very funny.” He held a proud smirk. ���Romanoff and I aren’t a couple”

You wish.

“That’s not what Rogers said when he saw you both cuddling up on the sofa last night.” Before you had a chance to look in Steve’s direction, you could practically feel the daggers Nat was sending him, making his face cringe slightly and his back straighten.

“That’s what Rogers said, is it?” She spoke, tilting her head in question. You knew she was partly joking, but you’d still decided to intervene before anyone lost any limbs.

“My head fell onto her shoulder when I dozed off during our movie. It wasn’t ‘cuddling’ , thank you very much.” You laughed, internally wishing that Steve’s words were true.

“See? So cut it out.” Steve put his hands up in surrender, despite having a cheeky grin on his face.

“Okay okay. Fine!” The billionaire said, writing something on the envelope. “I’ll just put ‘couple pending’” He muttered

“Stark!”

__________________________

You and the girls had just come back from dress shopping, all three of you had spent the whole day in and out of different shops, hours in dressing rooms and your voices were almost completely gone with how often you were telling each other, ‘that looks stunning’ ‘that’s the one!’ and the most common one by the end of the trip; ‘please just pick a dress so we can go home and nap’. That one was from our very own black widow, her patience wore a little thin after 8 hours of staring at dresses.

You had gone through all the colours and styles while you were out, ranging from classy jumpsuits to figure hugging dresses that felt like a second skin. Wanda and Natasha had chosen their dresses and were eager to find you one, and what a mission that was.

“I promise you, we’re not going home until we find this dress, okay?”

“Wanda’s right. We’ll stay out until they all shut if we have to. But, let’s make that a last resort.” Natasha eyed you both warily.

You’d been walking around for hours now. Each dress you tried on had potential, but there was always something that didn’t sit right with you. It was either too baggy, too tight, the cut wasn’t appealing, the length wasn’t ideal, it was starting to feel hopeless. You’d even suggested just going in your pyjamas, but Wanda’s death glare had made it clear that wasn’t an option.

You and Natasha were both dragging your feet, Wanda still having a slight spring in her step as you walked into the final shop and picking up a couple of dresses before then going into the dressing room to try them on.

The first two were okay, but you weren’t a fan. Then there was the third one. The third one was a gorgeous Y/F/C dress that fell just past your knees, it had thin straps and the skirt was simple and loose so that when you spun around in it, you felt like a princess. You looked in the mirror and you adored the reflection, you still wanted the others opinions though, though you didn’t doubt that they’d feel the same way.

Pulling the curtain back and gaining their attention from where they were looking elsewhere, you smiled when you saw their reaction, more specifically, Natasha’s. Wanda was complimentary, walking up and feeling the fabric, gushing about how beautiful you looked, but you barely heard it, too focused on the redhead sitting in front of you, her eyes glazed over and her jaw almost on the floor, completely zoned out on you.

“This dress is it, Y/N, you have to get it! Nat? What do you think?” Her head shook, bringing herself back to reality and briefly meeting your eyes, only to quickly dart between You, Wanda and your dress in an attempt to compose herself.

“Yeah, I mean, wow, you look- wow.” Her hands flailed in your direction. You’d knocked the assassin speechless. Wanda rolled her eyes playfully at the interaction. She’d known about you and Nat’s feelings for each other for a month or two now, silently cursing the both of you when there was an opportunity to confess, yet never did. It was obvious to the rest of the team, why were neither of you picking up on it?

Keeping quiet, she ushered you back into the changing room, much to Natasha’s relief, both because she wanted to head back to the compound and she wasn’t sure how much longer she would’ve lasted seeing you standing there looking literally flawless. She always thought you looked amazing, but there was something about the way you looked in front of her just then that made her brain feel like a haze.

It was pretty safe to say,

You bought the dress.

Collapsing on your bed, dropping your bags to the side and letting out a loud sigh, you heard your door shut and someone fall into the chair by the window. You already knew who it was.

“I’m exhausted.” The woman groaned, rubbing her hands up and down her face to attempt to physically remove the tiredness from her body.

“Sorry for dragging you around for so long, I just-”

“Hey, no, don’t apologise for that. We all said we’d find the perfect dress, and it was worth the wait.” Heat rose to your cheeks at her words.

“You really think I looked good?”

Natasha could sense your underlying tone of doubt, unsure as to why you would doubt her opinion, she’d always been honest with you. Nonetheless, she heaved herself out of her seat and made her way to the end of the bed, kneeling down so that your now sat up figure could look down into her eyes, with her hands on each side of your face to focus you on her and her alone.

“I wouldn’t lie to you, okay? You looked incredible and I'm sure you’ll look even better at this wedding on Saturday, if that’s even possible.” You let out a small chuckle at her words as a smile made its way onto her face.

“You’ll be the prettiest one there.”

“Better not tell the Bride you said that, Nat.” She laughed, looking down for only a few seconds before looking at you again.

“We’ll make that our secret.” You nodded in silent agreement, grateful that she’d made you feel so reassured.

“Thank you, Tasha.”

“You’re more than welcome, sweetheart.” She replied.

You were so lost in her words, you hadn’t realised how close her face had gotten to yours, and how her eyes swapped between your eyes and your lips. You didn’t realise how she subconsciously had kept edging towards you, hands trembling a little with every inch closer she gets.

She wanted to kiss you. Every nerve in her body was almost electrified with the temptation to just move her lips over yours and become one. Her pulse raced, almost to prepare her for doing so. Which is why she wanted to kick herself with a pair of her highest heels when she uttered her next words.

“We should get some sleep.”

You broke out of your trance, jumping backwards slightly when noticing limited space between you both. You awkwardly coughed as she stood, heading back over to her chair to grab her bag and return to her room.

“Yeah, yeah of course. Big today, rest is probably a good idea.” You both nodded, she was already one foot out of the door when she gave you a small ‘goodnight’ and left, not waiting to hear you say it back.

Just like you hadn’t realised her actions early, you were oblivious to her hitting her head off of the wall in the corridor just outside of your room, wondering why she’d backed away. Where was Thor’s hammer when you needed to knock some sense into yourself? She thought before dragging herself back to her room where she would fall asleep, unable to get you out of her head.

_________________________

“Right! Headcount before we go in! And I want us all on our best behaviour Avengers, this is a wedding” Steve had completely lost you after ‘Headcount’. Not only are most of you fully grown adults, sorry Peter, but he seems to be oblivious to the fact that some of you were wearing high heels, and patience in high heels had an expiry date.

“Y’know, if he doesn’t let us in soon, I’m not afraid to threaten him with his own shield.” You heard a whisper just behind your ear, smirking at the comment.

“I’ll join you.” You answered, Bruce and Clint sharing a knowing look from afar when watching the two of you have your own quiet conversation, though short lived when they saw Natasha’s head move in their direction, their gaze coming to a halt so as to avoid any conflict with their teammate.

You guys could try to hide it all you want, but your entire team knows better than that, they just had to wait it out until you both finally admitted it to the other.

______________________

You and the Avenger’s were currently sitting at a guest table, now in the reception part of the evening. The ceremony was beautiful, the bride wore a crisp white ball gown with her makeup and hair done to perfection, the groom looking like a prince in his black tux and a look full of adoration towards his wife to be painted on his face.

Their looks weren’t the best part of it though. The clothes and the accessories were lovely, of course. But all you could focus on was the love shared between them as they shared their vows telling the other how they believed they were each other's soulmate, and that they promised to always be the other’s rock. You’d found yourself with tears in your eyes, barely able to appreciate the sight with how blurry your vision was now. They finally fell when they said their ‘I do’s’, feeling only happiness for the newlyweds.

Although marriage hadn’t been something you always thought about, you’d hoped that you would meet your special someone and settle down, retire from the missions, the battles, the superhero lifestyle and just be with your soulmate for the rest of your days.

Despite not being a couple, whenever you thought of the person you wanted to spend the rest of your time with, there was only one person that came to mind. And she stood right in front of you throughout the ceremony, comforting a sobbing demi-god while he was also trying to explain to Vision why he was in floods of tears.

Music filled the room, upbeat, but calm enough for the couples on the dancefloor to sway gently to the beat, soft lights occasionally shining on them as they danced, the bride and groom being one of them. You smiled gently at the sight, feeling dreadfully single with all of the love in the room, but grateful that you could see so many people look so content and in love with their significant other.

An elbow could suddenly be felt in your side, pulling you from your thoughts to instead be met with gorgeous green eyes and a bold red smirk.

“Penny for your thoughts?” She leaned in, curiosity clouding her mind.

“Nothing much up there really.” You glanced back at the dance floor quickly. “I’m just happy to see everyone so happy.”

Natasha followed your direction of where you were looking, an idea soon popped into her head. She was going to ask you to dance.

Her mouth opened to speak, but as if it was done on purpose, a ‘screech’ echoed in the ballroom, catching everyone’s attention, including taking yours away from hers.

“We’re taking a break from dancing for a minute folks, It’s time for the bride to throw the bouquet!” He announced, soon followed by shrieks and the sound of feet padding on the wooden floor, women all gathering in a small bunch, huddled together as if their lives depended on it as the men all returned to their seats, shaking their heads at the commotion.

Not really wanting to take part, you turned back around again.

“Sorry Nat, what were you-”

“Y/N!” Your head fell as you were interrupted by a very excited Maximoff.

“Y/N! C’mon! We need to do the bouquet toss!” She started to pull you up, refusing to listen to any excuse you could possibly conjure up to avoid having to take part.

Giving the team a desperate look, hoping someone will help you escape, you’re instead met with encouraging and amused faces, including Natasha’s a clear indication that not a single person was going to help you. Traitor’s.

With a half serious eye roll, you quickly grabbed your glass of champagne and kicked off your heels, heading towards the group of screaming women basically crawling on top of one another when the bride was barely up on the ‘stage’ yet. You let Wanda wander off into the group but remained towards the back, sipping from your glass and sending the occasional sneaky glare towards your table.

“You guys ready?” The bride yelled, only to be met with more screams and a faint chorus of ‘yes’ heard among it as they all threw their hands higher. Wanda saw you were just stood there, and subtly used her powers to raise your hand, earning loud laughs and cheers from the Avengers, taking great joy in the scene unfolding in front of them.

“Okay! Three...Two..”

You kept your arm up, pretending to be enthusiastic about the toss, when you realistically didn’t really expect much from these kinds of traditions. What you definitely hadn’t expected, was for your figure to stumble backwards as you suddenly felt petals and stems in your palm, a faint feeling of silk brushing against your thumb as your fingers wrapped around the item.

You almost spat out your champagne, eyes widening in shock as you looked to see the arrangement of flowers in your grip, looking up to see women both disheartened and elated at your catch. How the hell had you managed that? You were literally the farthest person away, and on your own! You must’ve been set up. Okay, a bit of a stretch, but still!

“WOOO, Y/L/N IS GETTING MARRIED!”

“WHO’S THE LUCKY SOMEONE Y/N?”

“Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS, Y/N CAUGHT THE FLOWERS.”

The bride noticeably laughed at your friend’s cheers, she hadn’t meant to throw it that far back, her arm just kinda went full force, but seeing the reaction it caused, she didn’t regret it. She didn’t even regret it when she saw the look of embarrassment on your face, as it was soon replaced with a contagious beam as you walked towards them again, a very proud Wanda in tow,

“Guys! Guys! I’m not even in a relationship! I highly doubt i’m the next woman in this room to get married.” You joked

“Well, I wouldn’t be so sure.” Sam laughed “Romanoff, you got an engagement ring handy?” He yelped as a peanut from the centre of the table was thrown at him, and of course with being a trained assassin, Nat had hit him right in the centre of his forehead, earning a dramatic noise of pain to leave his mouth.

These guys will be the death of you.

__________________

After some teasing, the room had filled once again with happy couples dancing, now including some you were very familiar with, one being a genius billionaire playboy philanthropist and his CEO wife, and another being an Asgardian with his Midgardian girlfriend, both gently moving side to side in time with the music.

Letting out a content sigh, you were met once again with the flowers, however, this time, they weren’t on the table, but were held by a gorgeous woman in a flawless navy dress.

“So, I know we aren’t a couple, but, would the future bride like to dance?” She asked, you let out a content sigh, pretending to think it over for a minute.

“Y’know what, I would, thank you for your kind offer.” You took the hand she’d held out for you and led you to the dance floor. While her hands went to your waist, gently tugging you closer, your arms went around her neck, hands interlocking behind her as you, like the others you’d admired all even, swayed.

You’re unsure when it happened, much like a time before, but your head had made its way onto your dance partner's shoulder, your body following suit as it left no room between the two of you, though you weren’t complaining. Neither was the fellow Avenger.

It was peaceful for a period of time, the only sound being the slow music and a quiet chatter of people across the floor. It wasn’t long before you heard the red head above you whisper in your ear once again.

“You really do look amazing tonight, Y/N.” You raised your head so it was directly opposite hers, sending her an appreciative gaze.

“That future fiance of yours is lucky.” She winked.

“Hilarious” You scoffed, fully aware of her humorous tone.

“I know, sometimes I amaze even myself with my jokes.”

“Well, it really is funny, because I honestly don’t see myself getting married anytime soon.” Nat’s eyebrows raised in what could almost be described as confusion.

“And why is that? Do you not want to get married?” Her hands started grazing up and down your waist, like she was comforting you, but really she was bracing herself for what was incoming.

“No, no it’s not that. I just..”

“Just?”

“I don’t think the person i’m interested in, is necessarily interested in me.” Her heart dropped. So you did have someone of interest. She pushed the sinking feeling to the side quickly so that she could respond.

“Right, and why is that?”

“I don’t know. I’ve never seen them make a move. I thought it’d be obvious. I think it has been to some others.” Your eyes wandered, lingering for longer than what was probably appropriate, on Natasha’s plump lips, wondering if you’d ever get to experience what it’d be like to feel them on yours.

This time, Natasha didn’t miss it. She would’ve blamed it on alcohol, saying that she must’ve just imagined it, but she had only consumed a few drops all evening, being too entranced by you didn’t leave much room for hydration. She hadn’t been more thankful, because it made a light bulb go off in her head as the pieces came together in her head of who you were referring to. She didn’t make a move the other night. It was obvious to the team. How could she have been so blind?

You didn’t see it coming, even when your chin was held in her grasp and you saw her face leaning in towards yours, the reality only hitting you when you finally felt what you’d been wanting to feel for the last months, right now. Your surroundings had just disappeared, the only thing that was running through your head, was the way her lips were moving against yours, and the way her lips tasted faintly of vanilla, and how she smelled like her floral perfume she wore for special occasions.

Whooping and cheering brought you both back from your bubble with just the two of you, your head falling just below her chin, her hand stroking your back as you could feel her chuckle bubbling where your head lay. Well, hid. Her arms had muffled their comments, but you had an idea of what they were, probably a mixture of ‘finally!’, ‘i knew it!’ and you’re almost certain you heard a ‘You owe me 20 bucks.’, that one making you shake your head.

Remaining in your hiding spot, that wasn’t very well hidden, but was keeping your bright red face to yourself, a pair of familiar lips lingered right beside your head.

“So, about that bouquet..”

You weren’t getting married, but by the end of the night, you definitely didn’t feel so dreadfully single as you had earlier.

taglist: @the-dumbass-that-throws-knives

[marbleheavy]

here are some of my Nico headcanons that nobody asked for!!

He collects things. Not just Mythomagic stuff like he did as a kid, but cool shells, and rocks, and weird glass figurines that everyone else thinks are terrifying, and books. He’s got them in jars or lined up on shelves and he just has so many things (Because for so long he had so few things that actually belonged to him that didn’t have to serve a very clear purpose, so now he just wants to keep whatever he’d like)

He reads SO much as an adult. A lot of it is nonfiction because he’s trying to catch up on what happened in the world while he was pulled out of it, but a lot of fiction too (not really fantasy though, that’s too close to home) and a lot of poetry. He can recite poems from memory and will just randomly quote them sometimes and it should be pretentious but it isn’t and his friends think it’s amazing (cue dramatically saying "till love and fame to nothingness do sink" anytime he's told he has to wait) (Also, he will rant about why Ted Hughes sucks at any point in time)

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again!! He is a Dungeon Master! He’s got a binder for all the notes for his current campaign and a notebook for ideas and special highlighters and pens that he only uses for D&D. Also, dice are definitely one of the things he collects and he keeps them in those clear, plastic bead containers with dividers and they’re sorted by number of faces and also ~vibes~ (for example, do a backflip D20 and life or death D20)

leather jacket Nico di Angelo? seen, respected, and appreciated. CARDIGAN Nico di Angelo? underrated! He has a couple oversized cardigans with buttons and big pockets that he adores. The first one he ever had he definitely stole from Will but now, whenever he comes across another similar one, he buys it. The pockets are filled with rocks and worn, mass-market paperbacks and pens. (Basically, I’m leaning hard into English Major Nico with his annotated books and glasses and cardigans) (Also, cardigan Nico and flannel Will but sometimes they swap)

He definitely cuts his own hair in the bathroom and he's gotten very good at it. He's had a range of haircuts, from long hair to a mullet to the shaved sides and fluffy top, but he always ends up back with a shaggy mop that Hazel likes to put little braids in (or sometimes pull the very back of it into two little pigtails) and with bangs that always end up in his eyes.

Sorry to reiterate the same point that's been made forever, but his wardrobe is pretty dark-toned. Obviously black, but he does like a good jewel tone, perhaps a maroon or an emerald. Anything really bright was either a gift or belongs to Will someone else. Also, gendered clothing means nothing to him. He wears what he wants to wear and he thinks it's cool as hell when he's wearing a skirt while sparring and it flares out dramatically as he twirls.

He's kind of picked up modern slang but he also uses a lot of slang from pretty much every decade he missed. It's also a 50/50 chance he's using it incorrectly. (examples include: 1) Leo says something that is definitely supposed to be funny and Nico stares at him, utterly emotionless, and says "Gag me with a spoon" in an alarmingly monotone voice, and 2) Anytime he says something snarky to Jason or Percy he starts it with "hey bestie..." and honestly, they're both just touched Nico called them "bestie" at all)

He adores Studio Ghibli movies and can be found humming the Ponyo theme song anytime he goes swimming (Will standing on the shore, looking around for Nico and he eventually spots him in the water. He wades out to Nico, all sunglasses that shouldn't look so cool and golden hair and chest, and just greets him with "Hey there, Neeks, how's my fishie in the sea?" and Nico can't decide if he wants to drown himself or kiss Will on his stupid mouth)

Speaking of movies, shortly after the Giant War, all of his friends (the Seven, Reyna, Will, probably Lou Ellen and Cecil, too) showed up at his cabin with blankets and snacks. They each brought their favorite movie or movies they think he needs to see to catch him up on the modern age. At first, he acts disgruntled that they're all there but he very quickly settles into the blanket fort Annabeth constructs and is quietly very grateful and excited that they cared enough to do this for him. They're all holed up in his cabin for a full day until they've finished every movie. (Percy brought Finding Nemo, Annabeth brought Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, Piper brought Scott Pilgrim vs The World, Jason brought Captain America: The First Avenger (and Nico definitely says "that's gay" when Steve and Bucky say there "Until the end of the line" shit and everybody absolutely loses their minds), Hazel also is behind on movies but she brought either a very scary movie or Moana, Frank brought A New Hope (though he considered Brother Bear), Will brought Spirited Away, Cecil brought Back to the Future, and Lou Ellen brought The Princess Bride)

He can play the piano! He gets a piano for the Hades cabin and on nights where he can't sleep and the nightmares are really bad, he plays piano.

He will cry if he hears I Will by Mitski or Wasteland, Baby by Hozier, for different reasons but also kind of not (he wants to be loved)

Also, Nico and Dionysus being buddies! Nico jokingly says he'll host a bacchanal if Dionysus excuses him from certain camp activities and that's how Nico and friends end up wearing togas around a campfire, all very hesitantly holding cups of wine they aren't actually going to drink. It is definitely not a bacchanal, it's just a bad toga party (barely) but Dionysus accepts it and decides Nico is a Good One.

(Yes I did very badly make this stupid meme that somebody has definitely made a variation of before)

This is definitely not a complete list of headcanons but it's what I've got so far!