#but if that's the case. then that poison runs deep enough that he might as well not be attracted to her even if he is. he's so mixed up | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

grassbreads · 10 months ago

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The more I linger on it, the more I think this might be the most subtly unhinged thing in all of SGRS. What do you MEAN you dated for eight years and never told each other your real names???

Miyokichi talks after the breakup about how she was putting on a "professional front" with Kikuhiko. As a survival technique, Miyokichi tends to make herself into whatever she thinks the man she's with wants from her, and in this case, that means she presented herself as her idea of Kiku's idea of a "good woman" for a full eight years while they were together. She probably would have tried to go on like that forever if he didn't break things off.

Yet at the same time, I think she's rightfully upset on some level that Kiku never looked at her more deeply. We see very little of their relationship, only the beginning and the very end, but given what we do see, it seems like Kiku never quite stops holding Miyokichi at arm's length. He goes along with things and initiates some level of closeness (like leaning into her when he's upset during the rain), but he doesn't push her to get more intimate.

Kiku looks scared when Miyokichi talks about dying during their breakup, he defends her personhood to his master, and he wants to bring her back to Tokyo with along Konatsu and Sukeroku when he finds them, so it's not like he doesn't care about her at all. But while he treats her his own version of decently, he never tries to get to know her on a deeper level. He doesn't take initiative to look for who she is behind her front for him.

(Personally, I'd blame his disinterest in knowing her largely on his own fear of being known, but we don't have time to get into that right now).

The problem with Miyokichi's frustration with being taken at face value, though, is that she doesn't know Kikuhiko's real name either. She most likely never asks, just like Kiku never asks hers. I think she falls in love with the idea of dating Kiku as much if not more than she falls in love with him. He's safe and well-mannered and very handsome, and I think his distant coldness is a comfort to her on some level because neglect, though an unhappy business, is what she has experience with.

Miyokichi likes the idea of ~being the woman~ and supporting Kiku emotionally. I'm sure she encouraged some playact of emotional intimacy between them. I'm sure they found comfort in each other in a very real way sometimes. But, if she got to know Kiku too well, she would have seen things about him she didn't like. Could she have truly known him without knowing he didn't love her the way she wanted? She never quite looks deeper to see whether he's really the type of man that she needs him to be.

I think Kiku is a bit more at fault for the dysfunction in their relationship overall. Whether or not he was ever properly attracted to or in love with her, he's quite clearly an inattentive boyfriend to an egregious degree. Who the hell goes traveling for an extended period without saying a word to their partner?? But he's not the only one that lets their partner pretend to be something they're not.

Kiku and Miyokichi are both very talented actors. Boyfriend and Girlfriend are roles that they're both playing. They're the happy heterosexual couple! Miyokichi seems to latch onto Kiku in large part for the sake of her safety (and because she doesn't know how to exist without a boyfriend in her life). And however much pleasure he may or may not get from Miyokichi's advances, I think Kiku stays in the relationship with her at least in part out of a sense of social obligation. She's beautiful and hitting on him. Young men are supposed to have girlfriends. He's encouraged to date to get experience for his rakugo. Is saying "no" even an option?

But because they're both playing roles, because they're both invested in Doing A Relationship as much as they're invested in each other as individuals, both of them skim along the other's surface. Neither of them ever volunteers to tell the other their real name, and apparently neither of them ever tries to ask. They spend eight years together, but those years are spent dating the personas of Kikuhiko and Miyokichi, not daring to look at the people underneath those masks.

#miyokichi's mask is the more obvious one. but there's absolutely parts of kiku buried deep down underneath his front #I tried to write this post so that it could apply to any reading of kikuhiko. but I am absolutely a queer kiku truther #I'm 90% a ''he's not attracted to her truther''#he's just. so comphet #I suppose you could read him as bi (or even ace and bi). since it's not like compet obligations can't still poison things #even if you do like girls #but if that's the case. then that poison runs deep enough that he might as well not be attracted to her even if he is. he's so mixed up #anyway I think Kiku is both a bit less in denial about the hollowness of their relationship AND more in denial about his own mask #tho it's hard to tell bc he's the unreliable narrator of this whole section #sgrs #shouwa genroku rakugo shinjuu #descending stories #kikuhiko #yurakutei yakumo #miyokichi #ID in alt text

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heyyallitsbeth · 11 months ago

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Kirito's Quest Reward

In Alfheim Online, a small party of friends were taking on a boss monster. The giant salamander itself wasn’t particularly threatening, even with it’s attacks leaving multiple debuff effects, but the party enjoyed taking on large bosses together, and definitely enjoyed the payouts from selling the rare Fang Daggers these beasts drop.

“Remember, the one to finish it gets whatever it drops!” teased Leafa, who had been dealing most of the heavy hits this rotation. She knew they always shared rewards anyway, unless there was only one unique item per quest. However noticing her health had decreased due to the monster’s poison, she was prepping to take defensive. “Now switch!”

In a swift movement the girl and her attacking duo Klein had fallen back to the defensive and support lines, and two new attackers came in, the romantic crossed sword duo of Kirito and Asuna. Between them 3 swords cut deep and heavily into the salamander’s HP. Flurries of shortsword stabs and rapier pierces were landed before the rest of the team had assumed their new positions. Leafa began supporting her teammates with spell buffs alongside the cait sith monster tamer Silica, and Klein took a defensive stance beside the mace wielding blacksmith Lisbeth, preparing to run in to assist the mainline attackers. As the HP of the beast faded lower and lower, a rain of arrows shot down from above as the cait sith archer Sinon unleashed battalions worth of arrows. Not to be outdone, the blackswordsman Kirito rushed in unleashing a devastating combo to the creature, taking it’s final health points down to zero.

“Hmmph, all that effort in the last moments and you still go and killsteal.” Sinon sighed and huffed jokingly.

“Heh relax Sinon, we’re all sharin’ in the rewards nomatter what” Kirito replied, smirking.

As the monster turned to glittery dust a gift box fell from it’s place and landed square on the battlefield.

“Ah crap.” Lisbeth complained “That special drop events still goin’ on. All that work and we still might get a freakin’ steel dagger out of it.”

“Shoot! And I just barely made enough yuld off of it to buy back the potions we used.” Klein huffed.

“Hey we still have a chance for it to be good, even if we haven’t had much luck with it” optimistically chimed in Silica.

“Well, in that case if nobody wants it, I’ll be the one stuck with it I guess” Kirito said, striding over to it. “I was the one who took it down after all~” He playfully taunted to the other partymembers.

He tapped on the box to open it and reveal it’s contents, fully expecting something mediocre.

“Hmm?”

A dialogue box appeared in front of him “1x Classic Maid Outfit added to inventory”

He closed the dialogue box before anyone else could catch up and see what it was.

“So whatcha get?” Asuna inquired looking right over his shoulder.

Kirito jumped from the sudden break in silence, hoping she hadn’t seen the box’s contents. His face flushed red and he flailed his arms. “N-NOTHING- NOTHING AT ALL HAHA-”

Real smooth there Kazuto. He thought to himself. You know how your friends are. That’s just inviting problems.

“Ooooooo~ somebody got something special~” cooed Lisbeth, now nearly hovering over the poor boy.

“So what rare item did you steal from me hm Kirito?” Sinon peered down.

“Heh- no. Th-there wasn’t even anything in it. Guess we got screwed by it haha-”

Next quest: Get better at lying.

“Oh nuh uh, you aint keepin whatever it is for yourself, if it’s worth a buncha yuld then we’re splittin it okay Kirito?” Klein tossed out.

Kirito wanted to clear his inventory, he would sooner lose Excalibur than reveal what he had received.

“Hey Yui, if Kirito isn’t gonna tell us, could you check his inventory for us?” Silica spoke between small giggles.

“Yui please don’t-”

But it was too late. The small navigation pixie had already opened up a tab to review Kirito’s items.

“Hmmm let’s see. Ah it seems Daddy received an event item from one of Alfheim’s prior Valentine’s Day Events”

Valentine’s Day Item? Well that’s not gonna arouse any suspicion at ALL. Kirito grumbled to himself, his face so red he was matching the color of the holiday itself.

“Spill the beans Yui, whats it worth?” Klein inquired.

“Hehehe~ I just wanna know what it is that’s gotten Kiri so embarrassed~” teased Lisbeth. “Is it some toy you’re gonna share with Asuna later?~”

“AAAA Nononononono it’s nothing like that-” Kirito stammered out.

“No it’s not a toy- it appears the item itself is a clothing item labeled ‘Classic Maid Outfit’” Yui innocently stated.

The group went silent as Kirito’s face went from a flush red to a stark white pale. Then they all started laughing. Lis and Sinon were all but banging the ground laughing at the mortified boy. It took countless agonizing seconds until anyone spoke.

“S-*snkr* So you gonna model it for us Kiri-Chan?~” Lisbeth managed out between snickers.

“Yeah it’s all yours oneesan~” Leafa joked out.

Sinon who had previously been laughing the hardest now had a more neutral but smug look on her face “Jeez if you wanna see him girly so bad you should join us in GGO sometime.”

GGO… Kirito thought. Yeah that model was quite something. I swear that there was something special in my eyes there. They just seemed brighter…

Kirito slapped his cheeks out of that thought.

“I’m not making it out of here without putting it on am I?” he sheepishly responded.

“Honey you don’t have to if you don’t want to. But I can’t say I wouldn’t mind seeing-” Asuna trailed off, imagining Kirito’s toned physique in a maid outfit.

Add that to the online shopping list later. She thought, her mind filled with devious thoughts.

“You’re just scared you’ll like it-” Klein teased before getting one of Kirito’s boots directly to the jaw.

“F-fine. Just- Everyone turn around. If anyone peeks as I change I’m deleting this account!” Kirito stammered out.

The giggles of the group grew louder as they turned away. His fingers fumbled with the prompts to switch outfits, as if the outfit itself was attacking.

You’re just scared you’ll like it.

The words echoed in Kirito’s mind as he hit confirm.

He got a good look at his reflection in the mirror view of the UI.

I look like one of those freakin’ anime twin maids Klein loves. Wait… Nononono- I look like Sugu…

Kirito wasn’t wrong, if it werent for his modest chest, he’d easily be mistaken as his sister. But like this, he looked like his sibling’s little sister more than her big brother. His face was soft. His hair had updated along with the clothing, now appearing more similar to his GGO avatar, with the only substantially shorter in the back. In addition to the dress, he had been gifted with a cute little hat and was adorned in ribbons and stockings. The outfit was a dark lavender, with the ribbons appearing a slightly brighter purple. The purple really brought out the color in his dark grey eyes.

“Everything okay Kirito?” Squeaked Silica. “I know we were teasing but if you’re uncomfortable you don’t havta show us…”

Why is she the only one with any decency here? He took one last look at himself in the mirror. Those lights are back in my eyes… He pushed down that thought and sighed.

“You can look now…”

He closed his eyes and braced for the worst. He expected laughter and mockery. What he got was… Silence? Silence for far far too long.

“Guys is everything okay?”

He opened his eyes and noticed everyone was just staring at him, shocked but… not giggly or amused… Almost confused? With the exception of Klein, who was frozen in place, and slowly tipped over before logging out.

“Jeez tough crowd” Kirito joked, trying to make the situation more bearable for himself.

He noticed as the slight breeze blew past, the skirt picked up a bit and waved effortlessly in the wind. Without thinking, he spun around, watching as his skirt effortlessly spun with him. He giggled.

Hmm. Not so bad… EH? What am I thinking I need to get this off-

“K-kirito?” Asuna quietly broke the silence.

“Yes ma’am” Kirito almost chirped out.

He was happy to see he was now taking it better than anyone else. And then the whole group pounced on him, tackling him to the ground with a hug.

“You’re so cuteeeeeeeeeee!” they all echoed.

Even Sinon, the most modest one seemed utterly infatuated.

“Jeez Sinon, you’ve seen me worse than this- And Sugu you’ve DEFINITELY seen me worse than this-” Kirito thought of playing dress up with her as a kid, but a memory that should’ve made him shudder now brought him a surprising warmth.

That’s not good. He thought to himself. Yeah I’m gonna have to do some serious thinking about this. Or better yet I should simply never think of this again.

“Okay funs over now” Kirito exclaimed, tired of being at the bottom of a pile of bosoms. “This has been exhausting and I wanna go to bed now.”

That night Kirito dreamt of his wedding in Aincrad with Asuna, only now he looked like his GGO Avatar.

…

Kirito woke up early the next morning and his heart ached. He sent a good morning text to Asuna, despite knowing she’d probably be sleeping in still. He paused before he knocked on his sister’s door to wake her up, and chose not to, just sending her a quick “running out for groceries, be back soon.” text before he got on his bike and left.

Maybe a little ride can clear my head.

Kirito cruised down nearly empty streets, trying to think of anything other than his dream and yesterday. He hadn’t lied about the groceries, he just walked through the supermarket picking up a few essentials for him and Suguha for the week, passing through on his way to checkout when a glimmer caught his eye. He had wound up in the women’s clothing department, and beside him standing tall was a mannequin wearing a basic black skirt. It was nothing special, it was cheap, it was just a department store clothing brand. He looked at his reflection in the black screen of his phone, seeing sparkles in his eyes. He sighed, knowing he was about to make a mistake and placed it in his basket and checked out. He rode home from the shops with his mind racing.

Why did I do that? I’m such an idiot. What the hell am I doing? What would Sugu say? What will Asuna say? I- I just need to try this once. I’m just gonna go home, try it on, nothing will happen and I’ll burn the damn thing.

Kirito tried to enter the home as quietly as possible, dropping the groceries on the table and tip toeing to his room with the bag with the skirt in it. He closed the door behind him, but in his anxiousness to try on the skirt, he neglected to lock it. He slid out of his black sweatpants, staring at his body in the mirror. His figure was slender, almost effeminate in nature. Years without hardcore exercise and barely eating while in SAO clearly took it’s toll on a previously toned figure.

Maybe I do look like Sugu…

Back when they were little, Suguha and Kazuto were always mistaken for twin girls, despite Kazuto being older and not even Suguha’s blood sibling. He never minded back then, he just liked being close to her. They’d occasionally swap clothes to mess with their parents. Kazuto softly smiled at the thought. He slipped on the skirt. She slipped on the skirt.

His eyes met hers in the mirror. Where a dull grey void once sat, a galaxy of stars was now present, with shimmering highlights and purple hues never noticed until now. There was a subtle curvature to her hips. A natural softness to her face. Her slender physique made him jealous. He stared at the girl who looked back at him, she shyly smiled and as the words left her mouth, they followed in his. “So, this is me?”

She looked down, and the girl was him. The girl was her.

She nervously laughed and shook in place. She watched as her skirt flowed side to side with every subtle movement. She spun herself around, watching the skirt flare up. She giggled to herself. She spun herself again. And again and again. She was giggling to herself like crazy. There were no thoughts left in her head, it was just a pure moment of bliss. And it came crushing down as the door opened behind her.

“Yawnnnnnnn~ Kazutooooooo please could you make a little less noi-” Sugu entered the room with her eyes closed yawning, but her eyes quickly shot open as she saw what was once her big brother in a tiny black skirt.

“S-Sugu??? EH! Don’t Look! I’m not decent!” She blurted out, not realizing she was pitching her voice higher than normal. She scrambled behind her bed, trying to cover up her shame, hiding her blushing face behind her hands.

Suguha smiled softly and walked over beside her as she softly pet her sister’s head.

“Well, it seems like I’ve stumbled into something big huh? Listen Kazuto. Or… whatever you may wanna be called. I’m always gonna support and love my big sibling, nomatter who they are.” She kissed the timid girl’s forehead. “I’m gonna go make us breakfast okay. You can wear that if you wanna. It’s just us home today. You don’t have to worry. You don’t have to tell anyone else if you aren’t ready. You don’t even have to tell me if you’re not ready. But I’m here for you.”

She walked out the door, and Kazuto sighed, knowing she meant every word of that.

…

Kazuto followed not long after, choosing to wear the skirt downstairs to the kitchen. She was blushing the whole time, still unable to meet her sister’s eyes. She slid a stack of pancakes over to her.

“Here big sis, I made your favorite.” She smiled sweetly down at Kazuto.

“...I like that.”

“Hmm?”

“I think… I think I prefer being your big sister.”

Suguha smiled brightly.

“Yayyyyyy! Now we get to do fun girly stuff together! This is so exciting!- Oh and of course, thank you for trusting me enough with this sis. It means a lot.” Suguha felt a warmth she had never felt, and she felt like it was due to the beaming smile on her big sister’s face.

“So, what are you thinkin’ for a name?”

…

A few days pass and nobody outside the Kirigaya household hears from Kazuto. He seemingly vanished from the ALO party, and only returned a few texts with “Sorry I’m just busy, miss you too” or “I love you too Asuna”. Truthfully, Kazuto had been training up a new ALO avatar with her sister, creating a swordfighting cait sith, with a name she chose for herself, Kiriko.

“Hey I’m gonna head out and make some lunch for us okay Kiriko? Don’t go far, and I’ll meet you in town.” “Sounds good Leafa, thank you!”

While Sugu’s cooking wasn’t the masterpiece Asuna’s was, Kiriko was always happy to indulge in some of Sugu’s fine craftsmanship as well. Leafa signed out, and her model disappeared. And Kiriko was alone.

She strolled through the town, wondering what to do in the meantime.

“I could really use some sword upgrades…” She muttered to herself, knowing that the only blacksmith worth caring about was Lisbeth, and she didn’t know who Kiriko was yet.

“Ah well I can help you with that one!” A familiar voice made Kiriko jump, her ears and tail standing on end. “Heh, didn’t mean to scare ya, I’m Klein, and if you need some smithin’ done, I know just the girl for you.”

Kiriko did her best to pitch her voice up to not be recognized “N-nice to meet you Klein, but that’s okay- I- I think I might just wait until I get a better sword drop…”

“Nonsense, Liz is the best in the business, she can make a starter sword scale right alongside Excalibur” He laughed to himself. “What’s your name by the way?”

“K-Kiriko…” She embarrassedly managed out.

Great. I look like my little sister, and the name I chose is 1 letter off of my old handle. I am the smartest woman alive.

Luckily for Kiriko, Klein was the dumbest man alive, and did not question it at all, leading her to Lisbeth’s Smithy.

“Hey guys, I’m back, and I found a newbie who needs some sword help.” Klein announced to the full party.

Kiriko gulped. Everyone but Leafa was here. Asuna, Yui, Strea, Lisbeth, Silica, Sinon, Philia, Agil, even Argo.

With my luck, somehow Sachi is gonna walk through that door isn’t she…

“H-hi everyone, I’m Kiriko… Klein said that Lisbeth is a master blacksmith. At least I think he said ‘master blacksmith’ but all I really caught was ‘master b’-” She knew this was gonna be dreadful, so the least she could do was tease Klein before the whole thing fell apart.

“H-HEY! I said nothing like that- She is a master blacksmith though! She’s been working at it since Sword Art.”

“Yup yup! The best in the business!”

“It’s nice to see you again Liz, I haven’t had a chance to see you since SAO I suppose” Kiriko lied.

It’s not too farfetched to be another SAO survivor… Gives me some leeway if I mess up and say more than I should known…

“Ohmygosh sorry- I usually don’t forget my customers faces…” Liz pouted.

“Hey now, cheer up, consider us equal for me breaking your sword.”

Smooth one smoothbrain. Kiriko thought to herself.

“Eh?” Liz cocked her head. “I don’t think anyone but Kiri-”

“Y’know out in the field, I abused the poor sword, I should’ve taken better care of such expert craftsmanship” She smiled out the quickest excuse she could muster.

“Ahhhh I see. You just reminded me of my favorite customer hehe.” She took Kiriko’s sword from her and got to work on it. “Cute guy, but he’s dumb as rocks. Broke my best sword and made me go on an adventure to forge him a new one.”

“Sounds like a bit of a jerk to me.” Kiriko joked.

“Nah, he’s the sweetest guy, but he’s a little bit off.”

“Yeah, he helped me revive my Pina!” Silica butted in.

“And he saved me from the Hollow Area” Philia added.

“And he’s like, the sweetest husband ever” Asuna swooned.

“And he’s the best daddy ever!” Yui chimed in.

“He’s helped me in more ways than I’d care to say” Sinon said blushing.

Kiriko herself was now blushing and trying to stifle a smile, hearing all these kind things from all of her friends.

“Jeez, put the boy on a pedestal some more will ya? You’re just begging for this girl to be competition in that polycule you’ve got brewin” Klein sighed “Course, ya cant help but love the guy, after all, he saved us all so many times.”

She felt at home for once, the moment was so warm and peaceful.

“Hmm, you even look a lot like Kii-boy”

Crap.

Argo’s intuition was always top notch. She’d sniff out the fact that Kiriko was Kirito faster than anyone. She needed excuses and fast.

“Well, I’ve been told I do look boyish-” Kiriko idly fiddled with her skirt, kicking her feet a little.

“Nono- You don’t look boyish at all! Infact it’s more that Kirito looks girlish” Philia tried to console Kiriko.

“Yeah! He actually wore a dress recently and he was really cute!” Silica was practically meowing out the compliment.

“We’ve all been thinking, we haven’t seen him since he did it, we’re worried that maybe we teased him too much and now he got self conscious.” Sinon looked down shamefully.

Kiriko could barely manage to keep up her facade.

Focus focus focus. Think of things to say to make this go away.

Kiriko chose to simply say the truth. “Well, I think if they were willing to put on the dress, maybe they were just finding an excuse to try it out. Maybe they ended up liking it and has been taking some time for themself to work some things out.”

The room went a bit quiet. All that could be heard was Agil talking to customers and Liz hammering away in the background, but both were clearly listening in intently.

“Whatcha mean?” Silica asked.

“W-well… There’s this thing I’ve been reading about on some MMO forums. Apparently some guys will dress up with female avatars as a joke, and then realize something, that maybe they were girls all along. Maybe your friend is doing that?”

Kiriko was stuttering out almost every word. There’s no way they wouldn’t catch on.

“Well, then I’d be the luckiest woman in the world to have the best wife in the world.” Asuna announced.

“Yeah, and I’d get to have the two best Mommies!” Yui said, with Strea nodding along with her.

“Nomatter what, they’re always our Kirito. We’ll always love them nomatter who they end up being.” Sinon added.

“Yeah, and I can have my own big sister instead of a big brother” Silica giggled to herself.

“Well, she already has a little sister, you sure you can compete with that role?” Kiriko pet Silica’s head and then she realized what she just said.

“Wait… how do you know Kirito has a sister?”

“W-well I’ve been playing with a girl named Leafa whose been teaching me everything- and she keeps talking about her brother Kirito so I just assumed since you both brought up the name.”

Next quest: PLEASE GET BETTER AT LYING BRAIN Kiriko screamed at herself internally.

Argo mischievously laughed. “Yknow Kiriko, I have gotten some inside scoops that Leafa’s been playin alongside a new account and callin her ‘big sis’. Now aint that somethin Kiriko? Or rather Kii-gal?”

Crap. That’s Argo for ya. She knows me better than… well even me probably.

As the tension grew thick enough to cut with a knife, Leafa walked through the door to the Smithy, and Lisbeth returned to listen to the gossip more intently.

Hopefully Sugu can tell I’m blinking an S.O.S. to her…

“Ah I see you’ve met my friend Kiriko! She’s really sweet right?”

Kiriko shifted in her seat.

“... Fine ya caught me. It’s me…” Kiriko mumbled out.

No escaping this one chief.

Leafa glanced down a look of “are you sure Kiriko?” to which Kiriko could only nod.

“While you’re about to lose some polycule points for forcibly outing me Argo-” “Polycule points?” Lisbeth inquired.

If I can earn those I’m taking them- Liz thought to herself

“Yes it’s me. I… I just couldn’t stand being Kirito anymore.” The small catgirl looked to be near breaking point. “I.. I didn’t wanna lose any of you. I never had friends until now. And I was so so so worried I’d lose you all. I’d been keeping this down since GunGale. That avatar stuck in my head like a parasite. I couldn’t stop thinking about having long hair, and cute outfits, and twirly skirts, and- and after I tried on that stupid maid outfit, I couldn’t go back. I couldn’t be that same person I was anymore.”

She couldn’t stop the tears anymore. She just balled herself up on the couch. But then she felt a warm soft embrace around her. And another, and another, and another.

“Kiriko, I’m so proud of you. And trust me, you’re still the person I fell in love with in Aincrad. I’m not gonna leave you because you found out more about yourself. That’s just more of you I get to love. I get to fall in love all over again with a wonderful wife.” Asuna held Kiriko tight, and rubbed her cheek against the girl.

A hand was placed on Kiriko’s shoulder. “Heh, you’re so used to playin with chicks that you became one yourself, good for you.” Klein smiled every word out. He may not have been the best with words, but Kiriko appreciated the meaning behind each one.

“We’re all gonna love you nomatter what Kiriko…” Silica was gripping onto her even tighter than Asuna.

Yui and Strea held onto Kiriko for dear life, trying to make their new mommy happy.

“Yeah, you’re our favorite gal to tease, and now we can tease you even harder and in new ways!” Lisbeth smirked devilishly before hugging Kiriko with one arm and poking her cheeks with her free hand.

Kiriko felt another hand on her other shoulder, and looked up to see Agil.

“I’m proud of you for finding out who you are. I’m blessed to have met ya.”

Kiriko’s tears turned from fear and sadness to joy and love.

Sinon came walking up to where Kiriko was sat and hugged her from the front then pet her head. “Truthfully, I thought you were trans the moment you said you were actually a guy in that avatar in GGO. Every time we fought there I saw that light in your eyes you’ve got now. I’m so proud of you.” She kissed the girl’s forehead. “And now we can confirm that two GGO Winners are girls too” she smirked.

“Hehe, sorry for gettin ya to come out if you werent ready” Argo tossled Kiriko’s hair. “But ya know I’m just like ya too! I just wanted ya to rip that bandaid off hehe. Makes it better in the long term.” Kiriko could only smile at the rat in front of her.

“And can I please have my polycule points back”

“T-there’s no such thing Argo. And if there were I wouldn’t take them from my favorite rat…”

“Hey I know we already talked Kiriko” Leafa held onto Kiriko’s hand “but I’m so proud of you and I’m so happy to have a big sister.”

All Kiriko could do was smile, she was finally herself, and surrounded by all of the people she held dear.

And in the back of her head, she heard the faint singing of familiar christmas music, and relaxed.

Heh. I guess even Sachi was here afterall.

“I love you all. Thank you so much. All of you.”

#i told you id make this yalls problem #this might go on ao3 later. id need an account tho #sao #sword art online #kirito #trans kirito #transfem kirito #fanfic #fanfiction

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thatonepersonwhocantwrite · 9 months ago

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Trapped

Pairing Dark Luke castellan x Poseidon daughter reader

Platonic Percy jackson x sister reader

Trigger warnings kidnapping, poison (not strong enough to kill ), cursing/language, dark themes

You had arrived at Camp Half-Blood long before Percy your half brother did. You had actually arrived with Thalia, Luke and Annabeth

You'd think being the daughter of the sea god You'd have the advantage especially in the middle of the ocean but that was not the case for you. Luke had been poisoning you. The poison wasn't enough to kill you but enough to weaken you enough that it was hard to use your full powers. Also the celestial bronze chains didn't help either. You maybe thinking how'd you get here? Well it all happened on that night. The night Luke betrayed Camp Half-Blood. Percy came back with a new cut. Annabeth had seen everything.

Flashback

“Oh my gods Percy what happened to you?” You asked rushing over to your younger brother looking over at the cut on your little brother luckily the cut wasn't very deep. “ You're ok Percy i promise I've got you. What monster did this to you? At least they didn't do worse.” You said holding Percy close to you. Annabeth, Chiron and Percy all glanced at each other. “Annabeth your ok too ?........right?” You questioned your eyes scanning the young girl you grew to call a sister yet she wouldn't met your eyes. “Y/n …….. you might want to sit down for this.” Chiron said. “Sit down for what Chiron?” You asked. …….no answer “Chiron?” You asked again refusing to sit down.

“ It's Luke……he's the lightning theif and traitor to the camp.” Chiron said and with that the world went black. When you awoke again it was late and none was around. You were in the camps hospital bed or at least one of them because you fainted. Honestly it wasn't the best idea to leave the hospital bed in the middle of the night because who did you run into? Luke. “ You shouldn't be here Castellan. “ You growled under your breath. “ Come on now M'love……. Luke started but didn't get to finish.

“Don't give me that my love crap Castellan we're over. We were over the moment you chose Kronos over camp.” You said turning your back towards him which really wasn't a smart move. “My love come back we're not over i refuse to let you break up with me!” Luke exclaimed after you. “Goodbye Castellan. “ You replied. Maybe if you hadn't turned around you would have seen him pull out backbiter and hit you in the back of your head with the butt of it.

End of flashback

The door to Luke's room opened.

“ Hello darling.” Luke purred and wrapped himself around you spooning you from behind. “ Fuck off Castellen go rot in Tartarus.” You replied you could feel Luke's chest rumble slightly in amusement. “ Don't bite the hand that feeds u love.” Luke replied . “If you loved me you'd let me go.” You said struggle against his embrace. “ It's because I love you that I can't let you go. You are MINE forever. Goodnight darling.” Luke replied. He feel asleep quickly while you laid in his arms feeling…….

Trapped .

#x reader #yn #percy jackson and the olympians #toxic luke castellan #dark luke castellan #yandere luke castellan #luke castellan x reader #fem reader

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sashi-ya · 1 year ago

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𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐁𝐄𝐑 𝟐𝟑 DAY 21: FEAR PLAY Äs Nödt x F! Reader

Requested by: @muzans-stuff ➡ Hello If it's okay I'd like to participate in the kinktober event. I'm an AFAB with pronouns of she/her. I choose Äs Nödt with these following kinks: Dom/sub, impregnation ,humiliation ,CNC and ESPECIALLY fear play. thank you ♥️ ➡ i'm sorry for the delay my love, but here it is finally! hope you enjoy :3 tw: MDNI. In any case I am saying being admitted to a psychiatric hospital is scary, however being dragged to a place like that without being informed... CNC (rape/forced to mentions. be extremely careful). fear play. rough sex. humiliation. kinda dominant as (duh). slapping. humiliation. and everything dark. wc: 1,3kmasterlist

Eyes wide open, mouth covered. Boney hands, a chill running through your spine. “You are mine…” “Am I?”

White cold flickering lights, padded walls… why is everything so empty? Why does it look like a mental hospital room?

Your back pressed against the wall; it doesn’t hurt, it’s soft and secure. But your legs are shaking, you even feel like peeing yourself.

“Äs… what are we doing here?” you ask, with trembling voice and watery eyes. “Shut up…” he whispers, with low raspy voice that’s both terrifying and sexy.

You swallow, blinking fast enough for a single tear to finally fall from your eye. You try to search for an exit, perhaps the door. When have he taken you here? was it while sleeping? The last thing you remember was feeling dizzy and sleepy during dinner with the Sternritters.

When your eyes finally devise what it might look like a door, you take a deep breath and decide to run towards it. You love Äs, in a sick twisted way… but you are also scared… and there are still, maybe, boundaries you aren’t ready to take. Or are you?

As you move your foot, he approaches you violently. One of his hands cover your mouth, while the other pushes you from your lower belly against the padded wall. You can’t move a single muscle, you feel your blood turning cold, as if you were instilled with a poison right in your veins.

“Do not search for an exit. Haven’t I tell you already that you are mine?” he grunts, with his tiny nose pressed against your cheek but still wearing his black mask over it.

You try to deny with your eyes, as he is pressing your head so hard against the wall. He seems to be losing control, as if your fear fed something feral inside of him…

“Stop crying. Stop crying. Stop crying!” he suddenly screams, when your tears become profuse and wet the back of his pale hand. The veins on it become swollen, and his muscles tense more and more.

You can’t help it; you can’t stop crying.

His black pointy nails carve in your cheeks, as he shakes your face and then pushes you to the ground in a swift and violent motion.

Your knees carve in the padded floor. And somehow you begin to see the situation as a dark metaphor for the love you both hold for the other; it’s humiliating, it’s painful… but it’s pure white, and it doesn’t really hurt… it’s sick, but it’s healing.

You turn to look at him, his black boots, his black hair, and black eyes contrast with the white around as he walks to you. He does it slowly, but it is terrifying.

Äs looks at you from the side, as he tilts his neck to the right. His silky long hair falls like an onyx downpour on his frame. “You are pathetic” he growls, but you get the impression he is smiling under his mask as his eyes get squinted and the black orb takes over the whole socket.

Your white uniform has been slightly tore, but you don’t even remember when it happened. Nor you realize his heavy boot is now over your chest. Time seems to pass either too slow, or too fast… you feel like missing parts of reality… have you been drugged? Or is it Äs’s power? Is it the F supposed to be used this way?

“Will you hurt me?” you ask him, still crying. “Oh no… it is yourself who will if you don’t comply to my orders” he says, using his foot to spread your legs.

You soon realize that what he is meaning to do is not killing you… but fucking you. He is not willing to hear a “no” as a response, that’s why he isn’t even asking. You are, however, afraid of his words… knowing that he has the means to make you hurt yourself, makes you tremble.

You begin crawling back, you are sweating cold, you get tunnel vision having him to be the only image in the centre of your sight.

In a blink of an eye, he is already pinning you against the floor. Äs is topping you, with his long hair tickling your cheeks and the mask barely separating your lips from his.

His body feels like a bag of bones, a characteristic you have always loved about him. You enjoyed the way his hipbones protruded through the long white cover of his uniform, and always wished to be able to see his collar bones... well, now you will.

His hand slides down until your leg, lifting it up until his waist. Your skirt, that’s probably falling off by now, will allow him to have easy access to your core.

You are terrified and confused.

You aren’t sure if you want it or not, but the way his erection feels against your core fans the flame of need and yet of fright. And the more he grazes his hardness against you, the more you cry; this time, uncontrollably sobbing but with bucking up hips searching for more. What a beautiful yet painful dichotomy.

“You are such a slut, crying because you don’t want to get fucked but still rubbing yourself against me” he growls, searching with his bony hand for your panties to rip them off.

You catch a glimpse of logic and begin fighting -or trying to look like you are- to get him off of you. Deep inside, the more you want him to force you, the more that turns you on.

Ripped your underwear, his hand is now grabbing yours by the wrist above your head. “Stay still, bitch. You are getting that hole raped by me because… YOU. ARE. MINE”

You squirm under his firm touch. He might look like he is weak, but he is stronger than you in every way.

With his free hand, he slaps your face and then takes off his mask. For the first time you discover how his façade looks and you are beyond pleased. He is beautiful; pale, chapped lips, sick looking eyes but still full of a strong desire to live.

“Stop crying, you are not making me stop… come on” he whispers, now with his lips playfully grazing yours.

You sniff, trying to obey, trembling in fear but also in need. You feel his hand going down, while his dress like clothes go up. You get a glimpse of his pale, almost white abs. There is not a single gram of fat on his abs, and you discover that he is indeed way thinner than what you thought he was.

While his flesh is generally cold, his sex isn’t. You can sense the throbbing warmth reaching your slippery entrance.

“Even if I am forcing my dick in you, you are still so wet…” he moans, attacking your lips afterwards and impaling you with no mercy.

You arch your back, mewling in his mouth. But he won’t let you breathe any other air that the one coming from his own lungs.

Äs fucks you excessively rough, making you sure you aren’t able to escape from his claws, leaving you at his complete mercy… with your head spinning, and your legs losing their total strength.

He enjoys your clenching walls, your milking insides, slapping you once in a while. Sometimes he even stays inside you for some seconds, to show you how much you want him to keep ramming into you.

“You were crying and kicking before, and now you want more of my dick? Don’t you see how much of a needy whore you are? Why don’t you become my cum dump too? Let me get you pregnant, so that everybody knows you are only mine”

You widen your eyes; humiliated, asking for more of his dick, pleading with tears for your womb to be filled with his semen… forced to get pregnant by him.

Do it, Äs… After all, you have become crazy… stupidly psychiatric for him…

taglist: @miabiaria @carmenthedreamer @stygianoir @electronicwitchcollection @aizenwifey @deputy-videogamer @efrodd17 @mizugami @uzxotic @cyberdazetragedy @bookandyarndragon @fushiguroshotwife 💖

#as nodt #as nodt x reader #as nodt bleach #bleach #bleach fanfic #bleach x reader #bleach anime #bleach imagines #bleach fanfiction #bleach fanart #as nodt fan fic #as nodt fan fiction #sashi ya #bleach quincy #kinktober #kinktober 23 #kinktober 2023

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all-pacas · 8 months ago

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DIAGNOSTIC OLYMPICS, SEASON 2, EPISODES 10-18

S1: part one, part two, part three

S2: part one

Hi! I was curious about who on House (besides House) gets the most diagnoses right. Other folks have already run a tally (it's Chase), but I was curious how other factors would influence the tally — whose ideas get run with, who manages treatment, who screws up… So I thought I'd keep score.

1 point for getting the answer. This is almost always going to be House.

.5 points for Valuable Contribution — stuff that isn't the final answer, but either is thought to be the final answer or is valuable to the solving of the case. Stuff like "noticing something on the MRI" doesn't count; things like "figuring out how to treat" does.

-.5 to -1 for Mistakes — stuff that delays or prevents diagnoses, injuring or killing patients, etc.

FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE DIAGNOSES: Brain Malaria

+1 HOUSE: Honestly, should get more than one point: he solves the case by phone with no information. That’s more because this is a weird and pretty weak episode, though. +.5 CHASE: Although he was wrong in the end, he got an early win realizing the patient was on drugs, and suggesting a lumbar puncture that only later (on House’s order) was done. That’s two good ideas in a episode with very few ideas at all. +.5 CAMERON: Finally, finally realizes the patient only talks when his wife isn’t around. +0 FOREMAN: Comes up with basically no ideas, and continues to struggle with leadership. Chase and Cameron actively rebel and refuse his orders, and he doesn’t do much to prove himself. +0 TEAM: The Fellows do a pretty terrible job all episode, missing the obvious and running all over the place. But the episode also really isn’t about the case, so whatever. Honestly, wanted to give out no merits this episode at all.

NEED TO KNOW DIAGNOSES: Just so many things. But mostly a tumor.

+1 HOUSE: Another episode where the team is mostly running around chasing symptoms, House figures out the last piece of the puzzle (that the patient was on birth control) at the last second. +5 CUDDY: Her exasperated Stacy impression is, actually, very good.

DISTRACTIONS DIAGNOSES: Anti-depressant poisoning

+1 HOUSE: A not-so complicated case where the main problem was just testing the kid and getting information. House stumbled onto the correct solution, almost killed the patient anyway, and then figured it out for real. +.5 FOREMAN: Now that he’s no longer in charge, he’s suddenly doing much better, suggesting smart ideas and tending the patient. His merit is specifically for doing a very dangerous lumbar puncture successfully.

SKIN DEEP DIAGNOSES: Testicular cancer

+1 HOUSE: Cracks the case, despite the Heightened Pain and all his sleazy comments. As ever, we don’t judge on words, only actions. +1 CUDDY: Not only refuses to misgender the patient and calls House out on it, she manages to completely pull one over on him with her morphine trick. Love to see it. +0 FOREMAN: He makes a big to-do about House rushing things and being wrong due to his pain and haste, but every call House makes this episode is completely right, so probably would have been better saved for another episode. -.5 CAMERON: Early in the episode, she and Chase are told to do an LP and an MRI. The patient has a twitch, so Cameron decides not to bother with the MRI at all. Oops! Now, later in the episode Wilson also did an MRI and didn’t find anything, but at the end of the episode, House did find the cancer during a third scan. In between, the patient got a brain biopsy. Giving Cameron the demerit because if she had done the MRI in the first place, it might have been found sooner, sparing the danger of a brain biopsy.

SEX KILLS DIAGNOSES: Cheese bacteria; STDs

+1 HOUSE: Figures out patient #1 is Cheese Sick pretty quickly — literally, only about fifteen minutes into the episode. +1 TEAM: Most of the episode is spent keeping patient 1 alive and getting patient 2 healthy enough to donate her heart. She turns out to have an STD, but no one person really “solves” the case. +5 MR. NEUBURGER: The episode is intentionally full of very sympathetic characters, but I liked him. I loved how he sort of inserted himself into the case and kept following House around, I liked House being more sympathetic than usual and letting him insert himself into all the DDX’s, it’s just a weirdly cozy episode.

CLUELESS DIAGNOSES: Gold poisoning

+1 HOUSE: Lands on heavy metal toxicity early, but they can’t figure out what metal for much of the episode. He then has a second eureka moment and realizes gold. +.5 FOREMAN: Becomes convinced it’s lupus. It isn’t, but when House continues to insist on heavy metal toxicity despite test results, Foreman not only stands up to him but wins, proceeding with the lupus treatment because House can’t come up with proof that isn’t “because I say so.” Foreman was wrong, but this might be the first time any of the fellows successfully stand up to House like this and get their way.

SAFE DIAGNOSES: Tick bite

+1 FOREMAN: When the patient’s heart starts failing, House wants to come up with a fancy reason the allergy would call it, but has no ideas. Foreman, for the second episode in a row, pushes back and gets his way: to investigate the heart failure rather than start guessing. He then takes charge of the team and whiteboard as House sits quietly, and more or less runs the rest of the case. House even admits he’s right! +1 WILSON: Able to come up with an excuse to get the patient in an elevator with House on the fly. It’s always great to see his lying skills in action. +.5 HOUSE: Realizes the tick bite after he finally talks to the patient, and then is able to find it through, uh, invasive means. +.5 CAMERON: First one to guess tick paralysis, although it’s quickly shot down because at the time they’re no longer thinking allergy. +.5 CHASE: Suggests botulism, which is a long shot but becomes House’s running theory. Also figures out that the patient’s boyfriend has been sneaking in to see her, and is the one to realize they never actually talked to her. The second they do, it clears everything up. No big revelations from Chase, but three little ones makes half a merit fair.

ALL IN DIAGNOSES: Erdheim-Chester

+1 HOUSE: Goes in thinking it’s Erdheim-Chester, and it is; the test just gives a false negative. The rest of the episode is spent throwing things at the wall until he finally is able to prove it. +.5 CHASE: Despite starting the episode whining and skeptical, he gets points for his first guess once he is committed: House compliments it and calls it not just good but exactly what he did with Esther. It’s wrong, but points for a literal House-level theory.

SLEEPING DOGS LIE DIAGNOSES: Bubonic Plague

+1 HOUSE: Everyone is running around with no good guesses, and get distracted by the liver failure, but House pulls it out in the end. +0 CAMERON: While she complains and gets bogged down by the ethics of toxic lesbianism, and is certainly not winning points for bedside manner, she doesn’t let her distaste screw her up. Character development! +0 CAMERON AND FOREMAN: Foreman didn’t actually “steal” Cameron’s article, but he was a huge asshole about it all the same. They both lose points somewhere, but not here for this. +500 TOXIC LESBIANS: I think about these women every single day. This episode is simply incredible and one of the writers clearly has had some Experiences and I salute her for them

RUNNING TALLY:

HOUSE: 32 (+8.5) TEAM: 5.5 (+1) FOREMAN: 3 (+2) CHASE: 3.5 (+1.5) CAMERON: 3.5 (+.5)

Foreman is finally catching up, ironically only after he lost his temporary leadership role. I guess you could say that the experience gave him confidence — his points are mainly for standing up to House and taking charge.

#diagnostic olympics #house md #hate crimes md #at some point i'm gonna make a spreadsheet i swear #malpractice posting

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northwest-cryptid · 11 months ago

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I was once told I was white passing enough that I should "just join the winning team" since I could "get away with it" just because you don't encounter racism in your life doesn't mean others do not.

I was once removed from a knife shop in Portland because upon checking my ID the guy running the place identified that my name was Native and told me he "wouldn't supply my kind with the means to scalp people." Just because you might not encounter racism in your life doesn't mean other do not. (They checked my ID because my family has been the victim of numerous identity theft and credit card theft cases, so my old credit card had "ask for ID" on it to help protect from that.)

I have had my language mocked multiple times in my life while trying to teach people who stated they wanted to learn it. I've been told to "speak american" while conversing with Natives in their language (in this case Cherokee since I actually had an easier time learning enough conversational Cherokee than I did Lakota which I'm still learning despite it being my first language because resources are so scarce and it's an ever evolving language) so again, just because you haven't encountered racism in your own life doesn't mean others haven't.

It's very easy to say that Native issues "aren't that deep" when you're not aware of how deep the racism goes. When you don't live it, and don't experience it; you have no idea how it feels to encounter it and be told it's not a big deal.

Savage is a slur that has been used against our people since the declaration of independence, and honestly even before that. It's something we are reclaiming; but that doesn't mean it's okay to be said. I do not lash out at people who use it, but I do remind them that it's a slur that has been used against my people. The good people who actually care typically apologize or will state that they didn't know it was offensive or that they didn't consider the use for it. Which is fine, I'm not mad at them for it; they didn't mean any harm and their intent is more important to me than their words. However the few times I've been called a "savage" after I say something sassy only to respond to the individual by saying "well, I am Native" and they tell me "oh get over it, no one has used that word offensively in at least 100 years." I do not let that shit slide.

It's easy to overlook and ignore racism that you do not face. When the media and the government would have you believe we're already dead and gone or that fighting for our rights outside of (and even including) "Landback" is pointless.

I don't fault people for not knowing about the racism against Natives, I fault them exclusively for how they act upon learning about it. Because I assure you that nothing aids the racists who rape and murder our people, who steal our land and poison our water with their pipelines; nothing helps them more than when you learn of what they're doing, and look the other way.

If you refuse to look away from Gaza, if you refuse to look away from the racism and crimes against Black individuals, then I need you to stand with Natives; educate yourself on our matters as you would theirs, ask us about what's going on; listen when we tell you something is wrong.

We're human too, we're still here; and we still matter just as much as anyone else.

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heyyallitsbethfanfic · 10 months ago

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Kirito's Quest Reward / Something Comforting