#but if i try to open someone's blog or something actually important
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now that I am on a computer with a keyboard and not trying to use my blunt malformed arthritic-swollen fingers which I'm certain have some form of nerve damage after consistent frostnip for literal years. I had a very strange dream last night and I think it may be one of those dreams. the ones I remember for years. the ones where... I don't think I can explain that in public without a lot of people suddenly having another reason to hate me and want me committed
#after that time where my m*ther scrolled through my blog because I left it open... I can't admit a lot of things#of course I still overshare and am incredibly mentally ill of the flavour where I don't know anything's wrong#until I'm lucid again and go back and go 'the fuck am I on about'#I hesitate to even say what's wrong with me that's like. fairly confirmed at this point that I do have some sorta schizospec disorder#just in case I am faking it#which considering how removed I can be from some of my hallucinations it's a thought that often crosses me#and then I remember oh wait I'm not actually choosing to do this. I can't stop this from happening by just willing it to#people don't normally have full-flung conversations with people who aren't there or believe they're somewhere they're not#I don't think dreams can be mass interpreted terribly easily but at this point I know what's what#I can pick out what something means#I know full well that having multiple deep important dreams like the sort that this is where I'm a musician is. telling me something#which is upsetting since I don't think it's possible and I am terrified of being one of those musicians in the one or two pubs here that#have live music and being forty and gone nowhere with it#not because I think that's a bad thing. it's just the complete opposite of what I need to be#and I would be terribly sad if I just. ended here in a backwater with no scene at all#but I can see things. rapidly closing around me#I think the fact that I also used something someone provided me to hide from my family and visitors and then left#and one of those visitors finding me and having to hide and trying to die over and over again.#it's a bit. poetic? or just a deep parallel
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why you should get off social media if you want to shift.
before you scroll away, i want to challenge all of you to read all of this. this is one of my longest blog posts ive ever made with over 1,000 words. if you can or can’t make it through the whole post, please let me know how far you’ve gotten in the comments below. you’ll get a surprise at the end 🥳 !
social media isn’t an inherently bad thing. however, outside & inside of the shifting community social media (specially tiktok) has been shown to effect our attention span. this shows in my comment sections on my longer tumblr posts that i also share on tiktok, such as this one, when people say things like “im not reading all of that” or “can someone summarize” also “what method should i use” and “why am i not shifting”.
let’s start with the basics of shifting. shifting attempts need some kind of focus; an affirmation, a visualization, some sort of task like counting. if you’re someone who struggles to focus, you will struggle to learn how to meditate or any hobby or task you’re tying to accomplish. all shifting methods are is a meditation. while no, you don’t need a method, I would make the argument learning how to meditate & focus your attention to what you are trying to manifest is an important part of shifting. if social media creates an instant dopamine reward without little effort, the appeal of shifting seems less. this is why i think a lot of people actually like thinking about shifting & creating content for it rather then doing it — because trying to shift requires some level of work without instant reward even if it’s as simple as laying down & setting intention.
if you try to shift & you wake up in your cr still, that isn’t as exciting when comparing it to the idea of shifting. rather, if you post an edit or a video about your dr you will receive a dopamine hit through video interaction (comments, likes, how social media platforms are set up in general). even maladaptive daydreaming can fall into this category to some. the interest in attempting to shift dies because we feel like we aren’t gaining anything from it when that’s not true. when laying down & attempting to shift, we are meditating & training the brain to focus on what we desire most: we’re correcting our attention span.
social media destroys the ability to focus & what we focus on & give our attention to allows room for that desire to grow, to become reality. if we’re always so overwhelmed with information & have so much to stress about, it’s important to recognize what we consume & how it effects our mood & mental health & how it can sometimes delay our manifestations. im not saying you have to be positive all the time, but we’re exposed to so much that it’s important to check in with yourself every once in a while. this can be where shifting content comes into play vs non shifting content. think demotivation, you don’t look for it, it just appears. & how many times have you opened tiktok to look something up to only be distracted by a completely unrelated video that automatically started playing ?
what i mean is people are telling you what shifting is, what works for them (which you could register subconsciously & believe that’s a step by step guide), rather then self discovery. people are telling you what shifting is, how to do it, what to think, what to script, what method you need to do, even if they say “this may not apply to everyone” because of how it’s being presented & spoken about. the said popularity of a method or definition may also come into play & feeling like something has to be right or work because other people align with it. its like math class, the teacher shows you one way to solve a problem then says “your allowed to use your own methods” & shows you one example of it then goes back to using the original method in class that you don’t understand.
another reason is opinions. when being shown so many people speaking on shifting & their thoughts it can be overwhelming. it’s a great thing so many people are willing to talk about their experiences in their desired reality or want to share their personal breakthroughs & opinions on what shifting is, it can be confusing. while everything i just listed is well intended, leaning about shifting through places like tiktok & not venturing out & doing your own research — or just searching methods online & trying it yourself while going in blind — it takes away self discovery.
so, how do we learn about shifting ?
when i say get off of social media, i don’t exactly mean all social media. yes, all of these things happen across the internet but the difference with tiktok is that the fyp isn’t so prominent. this of course also applies to other feeds that are generated, but a lot of the shifting community is ok tiktok so im using the most known example. it’s important to search & decide what information you consume & seek out rather then being told something without stopping to think for yourself. you want the chance to be able to create your own thoughts. your own unique thoughts you have about things make them personal & your own beliefs become stronger when you realize things on your own. it’s more satisfying that way.
places like reddit & searching for questions you specifically have so you don’t have ten more questions shoved in your that you didn’t have before that cause you added worry or unnecessary fear is helpful to keep in mind.
there is room for grey area. not everything needs to be black & white. there should be no consciousness vs multiverse theories because two things can both be true at once. Ike thing doesn’t have to be against something, you don’t have time pick a side. it’s all theory & hypothetical. it’s okay that we 100% don’t know (& will probably never know) what shifting truly is. not everything needs to be discovered to preform it “correctly”. you don’t need to be a master at painting to paint, you don’t need to know how paint brushes are crafted or how canvas is stretched to preform, anyone can sit & learn as they create their first & second & tenth piece. even people who have painted & sold their artwork for millions, don’t know the great’s techniques. they know pieces of them & take what works & discards what doesn’t serve them.
this post isnt to negate any of the good social media has done or sound like my mom & preaching about how social media destroys your brain…but i think we should be mindful of what we consume & how it makes us feel & if we’re speaking for ourselves or parroting others words. there are so many great people & advice out there & im not trying to take away from that. i just think taking a moment to stop & digest what we’re seeing is healthy. this blog post has been a long time coming but i know a lot of people wouldn’t want to hear it. i can promise you, you are more addicted then you think — myself included. i just don’t wake you guys to look back in 10 years & have spent more then half of that looking at a screen when there’s so much life to be lived. i don’t want social media to take away from what we are all here for which when we come down to it is living. shifting is literally wanting to experience life & i can’t help but find it ironic that this is the opposite of everything we wish to accomplish through this practice.
please take care of yourselves. much love.
surprise :) congrats you made it ! here’s your digital slice of cake ! 🍰
#desired reality#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shiftok#shifting motivation#shifting realities#shifter#reality shifter
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How did you find the doctor(s) who assessed you for ADHD? Im looking into the process of getting diagnosed because (although ive suspected I might have adhd for years now) I've been struggling a lot more lately and i want to try medication to see if it helps at all. Im trying to search for psychiatrists through my health insurance portal but the the results im getting are all for child/adolescent psychiatry specialists, and I dont think that'll be much help for an adult adhd assessment? Did you have an established therapist to refer you for your assessment or were you able to find a psychiatrist independently?
I actually just kind of had to freeform it, but that does mean I have some tips to share!
I will say, I have never once used a health insurance portal to find someone to treat me for anything. Often their search engine is fucked up and the information is sometimes out of date. I almost always either ask someone who I know has had similar issues if they have a recommendation, ask my treating physician if I have one, or just google until I find someone reputable-looking; any qualified medical center or professional will list what insurance they take anyway, and you can always ask when you make the appointment.
So here's the process for how to do that!
When I was first considering it, I asked a friend who'd had an evaluation that came back not-ADHD, which I liked because it meant we knew it wasn't like, a weird Adderall pill mill or something. I really wanted to have a professional and thorough evaluation because I knew myself and knew I was capable of gaming a questionnaire. The place she had her evaluation was unfortunately having some staffing issues; part of the reason it took me so long is that I played phone tag with them for ages -- I'd call, and regardless of what time of day I called, their scheduler would be "out", so I'd leave a message and never get a call back. Ultimately I said "I really need to talk to a human, because your scheduler has not returned any of my numerous calls" and they said they could transfer me to another office outside of Chicago (in the burbs). That was not going to be accessible to me, so I told them thanks but I'll go somewhere else. Then COVID hit and I was not going to go anywhere near a medical center unless I had to for about two years.
So, when I was making my second serious run at getting evaluated, I did what might be expected of me by longtime readers of this blog: I made a spreadsheet.
I want to caveat this up top with REALLY IMPORTANT CONTEXT: I did not do all of this in a single day. The process from starting research to making an evaluation appointment took about a month, and probably would have taken longer if I wasn't getting somewhat desperate. Do not push yourself to do this as a single act. Research alone is a multi-day process; some days I looked at the open tabs and only entered one tab's worth of information. It took me quite a bit of time to write the form email I sent inquiring about an assessment. It took me time to call the clinic back when they asked me to call to book the appointment. This is a series of steps, not a single leap.
So!
I was looking for a clinic rather than an individual, in part because I'd heard a couple of horror stories about people who went to a psychiatrist and just got argued with for an hour instead of actually getting evaluated. So I googled, and here are some key terms for you, chicago adult adhd assessment. Chicago obviously for the region, but "adult adhd" (putting it in quotes will help) is the important term that will help you filter out a lot of child psych stuff. A lot of what I looked at did included family or child assessment/therapy but were clear that they also evaluated adults.
Then I went through every legit-looking search result and noted down, in my spreadsheet, the name of the clinic/company, the contact phone and email, the URL, the physical location (I needed to be able to get to it fairly easily) and whether they took my insurance. Even if they didn't take my insurance (all but one did) I still put them into the spreadsheet so that if I found them again I could check the sheet and know I didn't need to investigate further. I also tended to bump more legitimate and friendly-looking places to the top of the sheet. And if I were going to do it again I would also look for one specific thing, which is an assessment guide of some kind.
The assessment guide may be something they only give you after you speak with them, so it's not a no-go if they don't have one on their website, but it basically tells you what generally will go on during the assessment, how long it will take, and what you should bring. A full assessment like I had is estimated to take 4-6 hours and they recommended I wear layers so I wouldn't be overly cold/warm in their office, and to bring a snack. That's the kind of information you want, duration of the assessment and what they recommend for you, to ensure that you're working with people who are thorough and care about your comfort.
So, I have this spreadsheet now of places to reach out to, which I know take my insurance and do adult assessment. In the spreadsheet I also had columns for what date I contacted them and whether they'd responded. I started reaching out via email, one per day, with the form email I'd written.
The form email basically said "I'm 42 with no previous diagnosis but I have a family history of autism and dyslexia. I've been told I should get assessed for ADHD, so I'm looking for a clinic that will do the assessment and takes (my insurance). I prefer to be contacted by email but if need be, my phone number is (phone number). Please let me know if you have any open appointments and what information you will need from me to book an evaluation with you." (You can always ask for more information about the actual evaluation process once they respond.)
If I didn't get a response within 24 hours, I moved on to the next, but I only greyed out the text in that line of the spreadsheet; I didn't disqualify/remove the nonresponsive ones because again, I wanted to make sure I kept that information in case they eventually did respond. I did this with about ten clinics, because I figured I must be able to find at least one in ten who could do the eval, and I could go back and research more if necessary.
I think the third or fourth one I reached out to was the first to respond, and I ended up going with them; I had a very positive experience in the assessment itself but it was a real pain in the ass getting the documentation from them -- they took about a month to go through the evaluation data (this is not abnormal but is rather longer than usual according to my psychiatrist) and they gave me an in-person-by-zoom report once it was ready. That said, it took another four months and the threat of reporting them to the state to get them to send me the text of the eval (in part because the evaluator left the clinic unexpectedly with my formal report not yet written). But that's something that's truly impossible to know until you're working with them, and highly unusual, so don't let concerns about that deter you. If you end up in that situation come hit me up and I'll tell you how I dealt with that.
My eval recommended an executive function coach, but if I haven't been able to func it by now I never will, so I thanked them for the recommendation and went looking for a psychiatrist unaffiliated with the clinic to prescribe me meds. There, the key words you're going to be looking for are again "adult adhd" but also "adult disability" and if you want medication that's less likely to be a huge fucking hassle, "medication management". My psychiatrist and I meet every two months to reup my prescription, but he doesn't require me to take a regular drug test or meet him in person in order to get a new scrip, as some people have encountered. We meet in person once or twice a year (I can't remember, it's due to a legal requirement in Illinois) but otherwise it's over zoom.
So yeah -- it's a process, but there are ways to streamline and manage it, and a few tripwires in place to make sure you don't end up screwed by the system. Definitely feel free to ask if you have questions, either here or if you want a more indepth conversation you can email me at [email protected]. GOOD LUCK!
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When &Team Members Are Your Boyfriend
Admin: Ellie
Genre: Fluff, Wholesome | NO Smut, NSFW. | Minors can interact.
Pairing: gn!reader x Teamies (OT9)
Word Count: 3.04K
Notes: If you would like to request something, please find your way onto the blog to make your request~! Feedback is always welcomed. ^u^
EJ 🍊
He's terrible at flirting because he always gets flustered when you flirt back, but he tries his best. His intentions are always good but he usually flirts through saying something you'd hear in a cliche rom-com film.
He's always a giggly mess whenever you're complimenting him. Teasing him is an incredibly easy thing to do and he will fall into it every single time. He becomes a blushy, giggly mess that tries to hide his bright red face away from you.
He buys you expensive gifts as his way to show love and admiration for you. Jewelry seems to be his favorite gift form and he always circles back around to it whenever he feels like you deserve a nice little treat from him. Whenever you wear a necklace or pair of earrings he's bought for you, he will just grin lovingly and say something like "I knew it would look stunning on you!"
LOOOOOVES kiss attacks. If you don't want your face smooched to the end of time, you've better get to hiding it! Euijoo loves to place pecks all over your cheeks and forehead when you're laying in bed together or whenever you're trying to help him cook something. It's probably his favorite thing to do because he knows you'll rarely complain about it. Bonus: Do it to him and watch him absolutely beam with joy and affection. He is the actual embodiment of the word "happiness."
Probably the most comforting boyfriend someone could ever ask for. He's very communicative about his feelings and always open to hearing your feelings as well. He would do anything within his power to make you feel better when he's done something that upset or hurt you. - If someone else has hurt you, he always knows exactly what to say to make everything feel better. He is the master of solving emotional issues and bringing comfortability into the relationship.
Fuma 🦸♂️
Wearing matching Pokémon pajamas is a requirement if you're going to be in a relationship with Fuma. If you expect snuggles before bed, you'd better hope to god that you're wearing whatever ridiculous pajama set or onesie he pulled out of his closet for you.
Cuddling up in bed on the weekends to watch movies is his ideal type of 'date.' He would lay with his arms wrapped loosely around you, a content smile always resting on his face, a light blush probably creeping onto his cheeks if you lay your head on his chest or snuggle your face close to his while enjoying the movie.
Cooking together is an activity he would absolutely NEVER say no to. He thinks it's so much fun to stand in the kitchen and try to match recipes you found on Google or TikTok together. He loves to give you backhugs whenever you're chopping vegetables or standing to wash your hands. One thing you should know though, he likes to get the first taste of everything just so it's perfect before you bite into anything.
He loves to tell you about his dreams as soon as he wakes up in the morning. His sleepy grumbles, mumbles, and chuckles seem to be the best thing to help start your day. He always asks what you dreamed of the night before as well and will somehow try to find a way to make the dream-talk a breakfast date.
Play any kind of Switch game with him and he's absolutely becoming a mushy, soft mess, especially if you need his help learning the controls. His favorite game to play with you would probably be Animal Crossing, as he could shower you with cute gifts he crafted or traded away on his island.
K 👑
This man absolutely adores you. There's nothing more important to Kei than you. He looks at you like you're the one who cast all of the stars into the sky above his head. If God created anyone perfectly by hand, it's you.
He's an attentive listener. He loves to lounge lazily on the couch and listen to you talk about your day. He asks a lot of questions just so the conversation doesn't have to end so soon. He's almost like your personal diary at some point. He's just an easy and comfortable person to talk to.
Protective and slightly possessive boyfriend. He is not controlling by any means but he does get obviously possessive over you if he feels that someone is coming onto you in front of him. He mostly reaches to hold you close or stands in between you and whoever is making him feel antsy in his spot. Protective boyfriend is a given. Yudai, though not a violent guy, would absolutely put a smackdown on someone if he felt it was necessary to keep you safe.
He's almost like your not-house-husband. This man doesn't let you do anything to pick up around your own house. If he's there, you're going to sit down and relax and he will take care of whatever has been bothering you. Laundry pile bugging you? No problem, it's folded while you're watching a movie together and put away before he goes home. Got some dishes needing to be done after eating dinner? Don't even think about it, he's on top of the issue and the dishes are drying before you can even reach for a sponge. Sometimes you have wonder if you accidentally hired a maid instead of getting a boyfriend.
He waits up for you if you've been out. He's a natural-born worrier who will keep a close eye on his phone in case you need to give him a text or call. He's always telling you to text him when you've gotten to your destination(s) safely and he will stay up all night waiting for the text message or waiting to see you. Even if you insist that he gets rest, he will stay up and wait patiently to make sure you don't need him to come get you.
Nicholas 🍓
Annoying in such an endearing way. He teases you nonstop because he loves to hear your gentle giggles and watch as your cheeks heat up a nice red color because of his antics
Romantic as all get out. He looooves to buy you small gifts like flowers or candies and he's all about the lifestyle of taking you shopping as a date. Going shopping with you is one of his favorite ways to spend time with you and he will call it a "date" every time.
Taking photos of you is his number one hobby. On a date? Fifteen photos. Sleeping comfortably in his bed? About sixty photos. -- No matter the occasion, you can be certain his entire camera roll is nothing but photos of you.
He sleeps most comfortably if you guys are cuddled up close to one another. He almost cocoons the two of you in his blankets whenever you stay the night at his place. He likes you hug you tightly and rest with his head lightly pressed against yours. He sometimes plays soft music when he's falling asleep but if he knows it bothers you, he will just mumble soft stories to you (mostly to himself) until he's fallen asleep.
Financially irresponsible but only because he loves to spoil his lover. He will buy you anything you say you want or hint at liking. If you guys are shopping together and see a pair of shoes you barely hint at liking, they're already tucked up under his arm and he's probably grabbing a second pair just in case the first ones get ruined. You like a design on a shirt? It's yours and he's not taking arguments. You often contemplate hiding his wallet from him or wearing a pair of sunglasses whenever you're shopping with him so he stops purchasing everything you look at. Anytime you fuss at him for spending so much money on you, he will get sulky and tell you "but I just like to see you happy, you wouldn't take that away from me, right?" -- And then you're left in a dilemma of either watching the dude drain his bank account or letting him sulk and drag his feet all day because you told him NO for once.
Yuma 🐱
Yuma would be such a cute boyfriend. He would be kind of shy whenever he tries to flirt with you and he always bursts into a fit of soft, nervous giggles whenever you lean in to give him kisses.
He always sends you the cutest selfies whenever you're not together. He loves to send you pouty photos with "it's less fun without you here" attached, or he will send a photo of something cute and silly with "I thought of you" sent right after.
Plushies are how he shows his love for you. Everywhere he goes, he buys you a new stuffed animal to toss onto your bed. It's getting to the point where there's not enough space for you in the bed because the stuffed animals are starting to take over but he cares not one bit. He would buy an entire house just for stuffed animal storage if he had the funds to do so.
Sharing clothes is something Yuma likes to do. If you have a cute shirt he knows will fit him, it's not your shirt anymore. If you want to steal a jacket or pair of jeans of his out of his closet, he'd never complain. He'd tell you that you look better than he does in whatever article of clothing it is.
He loves to share earbuds with you. Listening to music together is something simple that makes him feel more connected to you. He likes when you guys take turns picking the next song in the queue to listen to together. He always makes sure he brings a back up pair of earbuds in case the first pair ever dies in the middle of a small jam session.
Jo 🍚
Holding hands is his favorite form of intimacy. To Jo, there's nothing sweeter and more endearing than offering your hand to him and just allowing him to hold it tightly within his own. His thumb is always caressing the side of your hand lovingly, especially if he's listening to you talk. It's his way of showing he cares and is listening to you.
Secretly a jealous boyfriend. Though he's shy in nature and would never outright tell you he's jealous when you're giving someone else more attention, it's obvious that he feels a little bit left out whenever your attention is on another friend over him. He gets a little bit pouty and always reaches to place gentle touches on your hand or thigh to remind you that he's there and would like attention, too.
Going out to a nice restaurant for dinner is his favorite form of date night. He loves to see you get dressed up really cute just for him! He will probably compliment you four hundred times before you even reach the restaurant and you keep catching him staring so lovingly at you while he's eating.
Jo is always trying to improve his drawing skills so he can gift you his art or impress you with what he produces. You've seen his sketchbook and have found that he's tried to sketch you a few times already but decided to restart because he didn't like how he'd made you look. He would become incredibly shy and embarrassed if he knew you saw those drawings, so you always pretend not to notice when he's admiring your face a bit more closely than usual, especially when the sketchbook is sitting comfortably in his lap.
Sleepy hammock cuddles when it's raining. Every time Jo knows it will rain, he finds his way to the hammock he's gotten set up on the balcony of his apartment to curl up with a nice book. Of course, once it starts to actually rain, Jo finds himself becoming sleepy and clingy! He almost always calls for you to come climb into the hammock with him so you guys can cuddle and listen to the rain together. Bonus points if you bring a blanket you guys can snuggle up under together. Extra bonus points if you tell him fun stories about your childhood or ask about when he was little and would play in the rain.
Harua 🐰
Surprising you with your favorite dessert is Harua's absolute favorite thing to do. Seeing you get excited because he showed up with your favorite ice cream or yogurt is something that brings him incredible joy.
He calls you pet names more often than calling you by your real name. Sometimes you wonder if he knows your name isn't "sunshine" or "sweetie" because he's so allergic to calling your name.
Flirting isn't a thing with Harua. He's completely oblivious whenever you try to flirt with him and his attempts... Are bad. He thinks telling you he likes your shoes is flirting and he gets a little flustered when it doesn't work out so well. He can occasionally flirt to the point of making you blush but this happens rarely. More often than not, you just have to chuckle at him and give him a kiss on the cheek.
He loves to get his nails done with you. Even if all you get is your nails trimmed or a clear overcoat to make your nails shine, Harua loves to drag you out to a salon for special one on one time. Matching nails are his favorite thing, so if you decide to get a nail design, he will find a way to incorporate it on his own nail as well.
He insists on walking you home. It doesn't matter the time of day, where you live, or how far he will have to travel to get himself home, he wants to accompany you back to your home so he knows you got there safely. He always gives a gentle kiss on the nose before you part ways for the night and he stands patiently outside until he watches you get beyond the door. He never lets you walk alone, especially at night or during a storm and you can count on him to linger outside for a few minutes just to make sure you're safe, able to get inside easily, and weren't followed by anyone else.
Taki 🐣
Taki is a clingy boyfriend. He wants your attention almost all the time and feels lonely whenever you're not around. He's not overwhelmingly clingy, but he is the type who wants to touch you almost nonstop (hugging, holding your hand, playing with your hair, etc.) when you're together and he basically begs for your attention.
Karaoke dates almost every Friday night. He loves to hang out with you and eat yummy snacks while singing your favorite songs together. Duets are a favorite of his so you can also have a small dance together.
He is infatuated with you and thinks you're genuinely the coolest human being that's ever walked this planet. Whatever your favorite hobby is, he's in love with it simply because you are. He is forever going on about how cool he thinks you are to his friends and he loves to brag about the things you get up to. If you're an artist, he's showing off all of your art no matter what. If you make cute little bracelets, you better believe he will wear 5 at a time and talk endlessly about how you made them custom just for him. He's your #1 cheerleader always.
He would wear matching outfits with you. He thinks it's cute to wear matching colors or matching styles whenever you go out on a date together. If you're wearing blue, he will too. If you've got pink somewhere on your outfit, he will try to find a way to make something of his pink (or as close to it as possible) so you can have a cute "couple's outfit."
Taki's favorite thing about cuddling with you is the fact that he gets to be the little spoon. He loves to feel small when you guys cuddle up to watch movies or just to talk about your busy day. -- You always find that he puts his head right over your heart so he can listen to your heartbeat while you cuddle. If he's ever feeling particularly stressed out or upset, you know letting him listen to your heartbeat will soothe him and make everything feel better for a little while.
Maki 🐶
Maki loves to flirt with you. He is a master at flirting and making you blush. He always just grins and winks at you whenever your face is hot and red from his flirting and teasing. Even through text message, he finds a way to flirt and tease you until you're a blushing mess.
He talks about you all the time. Nonstop, he talks about you to his friends and family. He finds a way to bring you up in every conversation, even if it has little relevance to anything that's going on. The conversation could be about what his friends want for dinner and he'll but in with "well you know, y/n likes...." for no reason at all.
He brings you things that remind him of you at random times so you know he's always thinking about you. He mostly shows up with random candles or small throw blankets that had cute designs all over them.
Water gun battles are something that always take place when you're dating Maki. He will randomly pop up from behind the couch and just start shooting water at you before he scurries off to a different room before you can retaliate. Whenever you guys have been moody towards one another, he will offer you a water gun and tell you the first person to tap out has to apologize first. -- Of course, he ends up apologizing first, but the water gun fight is just a way he tries to bring the mood up and make things more lighthearted when you've both been a little grouchy towards one another.
Let's get one thing clear. If there's a bug, he's not getting it out of the house / room / area. He will scream like he's being ripped apart from the inside out and will in fact run to hide behind you if he sees anything resembling a bug or insect. Congratulations, reader, you're the exterminator of the relationship!
#&team#&team imagines#andteam imagines#andteam#&team drabbles#&team fluff#andteam scenarios#andteam k#andteam nicholas#andteam taki#andteam harua#andteam ej#andteam maki#andteam yuma#andteam fuma#andteam jo#&team k#&team jo#&team yuma#&team nicholas#&team ej#&team Taki#&team maki#&team harua#&team fuma#&team soft#andteam soft
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General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)
Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!
He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!
He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.
“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”
(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)
Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.
He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.
He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.
His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!
He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.
He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.
He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.
Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.
He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.
He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.
Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.
He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.
Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.
He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.
This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.
He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.
He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!
He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.
Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.
He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.
A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!
He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!
If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.
Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.
He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.
Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.
You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!
He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.
“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter
He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.
He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.
Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.
Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.
#alfred isn't one of my fave characters so i hope i did him justice ♡#hetalia#hetaila headcanons#hetalia imagines#hetalia x reader#aph america#hws america#aph america x reader#hws america x reader#america x reader#reader insert#sugar
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do you have any advice for new writers who want to start posting on tumblr?
Oh man, I'm gonna give you a list of things I wish I could've told myself when I first started posting.
Some Basic Tips:
Don't be scared to post! You'll never see growth in your followers, mutuals, and even your writing if you don't post!
Be open to asking others for help or advice if you struggle with writing. I sometimes ask some of my mutuals for help or read fanfiction to see how others write a scene. Then, I take the knowledge and write it in my own way. For example, I do well with writing dialogue but find myself always struggling with how to start the story.
Don't be afraid to post about non-writing things, too! Remember, you deserve to have fun on your account, so post what you want. You aren't a machine. You are a person!
The number of notes you get doesn't determine your worth or skill in writing. In my opinion, Tumblr has shifted a bit, making it harder for smaller writers to get likes, reblogs, or comments on their works.
But at the end of the day, in order to enjoy being a writing blog on Tumblr, you have to enjoy what you are writing and posting. Do not feel like you have to force yourself to write just for the numbers, let it happen naturally. Things will start out slow at first, as all things do, but you'll get to a point where you can barely keep up with things.
Post and Blog Formatting + Style:
Formatting is really important! Break up paragraphs, ask a friend to be a beta reader, and for longer works, go back and proofread if you have the time! It's okay if you have minor mistakes, though. I tend to miss things in my writing, and when I return a week later, I just fix them. No big deal!
Nowadays, aesthetics is HUGE for fanfiction posts and your account. Channel your creativity and style! Make your blog super pretty in your own way! It can be pink and cutesy, black and edgy, simple and clean, or colorful and cluttered! Don't have a blank blog!
PUT YOUR AGE CLEARLY SOMEWHERE! In your bio, pinned post, SOMEWHERE IT IS EASY TO SEE. I have had writing accounts follow me but no age, so I don't feel comfortable engaging with them.
You can take inspiration from other accounts (don't outright copy, though) on how they format their fanfictions. You will probably notice a lot of accounts have headers, dividers, or colored text. You can do that too, as it can catch the readers attention.
I get headers from doujins and mangas I read, websites such as Pinterest are good for cute ones, and Twitter is your go-to for more NSFW headers.
Create a tagging system to make navigating your blog easier, and have a pinned post with links to your rules/byf/masterlist/etc.
Try to put warnings in your writing. A lot of people have filters on to avoid the types of content they don't want to see, but there are the occasional people who don't put warnings in the writing post itself. It could be a simple tag or a list of themes at the beginning of the post.
An example would be a post with the tag #dubcon #tw dubcon OR putting "cw: dubcon" in the post itself before the writing itself.
This is a tag vs. in the actual post
Tagging and Reblogs
Speaking of tags, USE THE TAGGING SYSTEM! If you don't tag your post with popular fanfiction tags, it will be hard for people to find you.
Only the first twenty tags will show up in Tumblr search, including your own blog. Reblogs will not show up in tracked tags or searches.
However, don't feel bad for reblogging your own works again. Do it as many times as you want. You created something and should feel proud of it! I still reblog things from January just because.
Making Mutuals
Don't be afraid to engage with other accounts. That's how you make friends on here! But here's something important:
Be genuine. Make mutuals because you enjoy each other's work, AND both have fun talking with each other! If someone doesn't add you back as a mutual, that is okay; don't feel like they have something against you! Making mutuals shouldn't be your only goal when posting on Tumblr. Otherwise, you might tire yourself out mentally. It took me a while to make mutuals on here, but I'm glad it did it naturally instead of trying to force it.
Asks and Anons
Once you build a following, you will get the most wonderful, loving, and supportive anons in your inbox! Cherish them, respond to them, and have fun with them! Because there is a very high chance, you will also get assholes in your inbox.
I say this from the bottom of my heart but do NOT give hateful people your attention because that is what they thrive on. I still get them, but when I tell you I am at so much peace, I block and delete the messages and carry on.
If a certain message bothers me for a bit, then I just take a little break, talk to some friends about what happened, and do what helps me calm down so I don't act rashly. Don't be afraid to turn off anonymous messages for a while. This is YOUR blog, not theirs.
Don't feel pressured to answer every ask or fulfill every request. Take your time because that can burn you out! I love socializing so much, but sometimes I just pull a blank on how to respond to my asks. I always ensure my mutuals and followers know that I'm not ignoring them and just tend to go blank-brained with some asks, OR I save some of them to look at when I'm sad!
Overall, just start and DO IT FOR YOURSELF.
That's the best advice for when you want to make anything. You just have to start posting and learning and improving as you go on. Hopefully, this will sort of help. I know it's not the best list of advice, but it's just some things I would tell myself back when I first started.
If you have any other questions, I can try my best to answer them!
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Hey folks, welcome to the blog! I’m Tree! 🌲 A quick note before the fun kicks off - I post NSFW/Suggestive stuff, as well as gore, and other topics folks might deem disturbing I'd greatly appreciate it if I could see your age in your bio, if you're interacting with my spicier work.
So please put your age in your bio! I might have to start blocking people and I really don't wanna do that! and no, just putting “18+” in your bio does not count for me!
haunted hotel au blog !- @welcome-tothe-harehotel
If you’re looking for the full l o r e of my ongoing super indulgent storyline, of my Amazing Digital Carnival “user” and Carnival!Jax, all that stuff should be under the tag # player tree! :]
Pride flag requests always open!! 🏳️🌈🏳️⚧️ [When the inbox is open lol]
Can I use my request as an icon? - Yes! Just please credit me! ;v; 🌲
🌲🌲🌲
If you ever found yourself wanting to percolate this pine, now you can! 🌲☕️🌲
vv🌲 IMPORTANT! PLEASE READ 🌲vv
DONT WORRY. My inbox will still be opening for free requests, too. I’m not closing down my inbox. :]
But! When my inbox is closed, this is a way to request! 🌲
💚 I might open up actual commissions, some time down the road, but I’ll have to figure out how I’d wanna do that first! <:] 💚
*I sadly cannot guarantee that all kofi requests will be done, depending on how many I get, but I will try my very best, and be more likely to finish your request if you’re payin me! 💚
Are NSFW requests allowed? Sadly, for the time being, I can’t think of a way to fulfill spicy requests safely. My initial idea, was to post anything I finished, cropped, (with the requester’s permission), and then dm the requester the full picture. But if someone were to lie about their age, dming something like that to a minor would be awful.
*There’s exceptions, in terms of people I am friends with in DMs, but on a grander scale- the answer is no. Or at least not yet. I’ll have to sort out a place I could post the mature ones. Possibly Ao3?
——
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Hii!! How are you?
I'm in love with your blog! <3
Your writing makes me feel like I'm floating on clouds, you are very good at writing, thank you very much!
Could I request one with Dazai, chuuya, atsushi, ranpo and akutagawa with a cute and distracted couple? I'm sorry if this is something very cliché, has been running through my head
๋࣭ ⭑ them with a (cute)distracted partner. bsd x reader
gender: gender neutral
type: headcanons
warnings: lowercase writing
characters: dazai, chuuya, atsushi, ranpo, and akutagawa
a/n: i'm good, hbu? tysm for your kind words anon<3 much appreciated! glad you like my work!!
๋࣭ ⭑ dazai osamu 🩹
"however, that's not the poi- ... belladonna, are you listening?"
"hm, oh yeah, i'll let atsushi know..."
dazai chuckles.
he never gets mad, he thinks it's cute how the littlest of things can distract you.
"dazai, look!" you would point at a rock, "hm~ what exactly am i looking at?"
"that rock has a paint stain!"
dazai: 🙃
"it's a pretty stain indeed, it would catch my eye as well~"
"it was never there before!" you laughed.
he brings you back to reality.
usually when there's a meeting, that he's actually apart of??
all he needs to do is softly take your cheek and pull your face toward his, "i know this topic isn't up to your excitement, but after this we can do out for ice cream! my treat~"
now your shaking in your seat with a huge smile on your face, waiting for this meeting to end.
kunikida doesn't know if he should "thank" or whack dazai for his actions
you zone out a lot when on the job, so dazai was assigned to aid you and help you try to pay more attention,
but come on, he didn't even try and just took in the time he had with you<3
๋࣭ ⭑ chuuya nakahara 🍷
he walked beside you, eyeing you as you looked to the right and zoned out for a second.
the moment you got to the wall in front of you, he pulled you in his direction and turned in the hall away,
"dumbass, watch where you're going!" he would scold, but sigh in the end, knowing what he'll say will go from one ear and out the other.
so he just tries to keep you undistracted when there's something important going on.
during a meeting and your zoning out, mori would look at your boyfriend and eye you, causing him to look at you and groan.
you were playing with the rim of your coat. smiling at the ends bounce up and down.
chuuya took your hand and pointed at the boss as you followed his finger, "this is for your next mission! if you don't want to get yourself killed because "you forgot" don't expect me to rescue your ass!"
we all know he will anyway if you really needed his help.
he kinds it cute when you zone out when your bored.
your eyes are just glued to anything, the wall, the floor, the tv, a piece of furniture, or even him.
he once caught you starting at him, and he hasn't told you
"you're so cute~" he would kiss your temple as your zoned out, and that would knock you out of your trance, "hm? what did you say chuuya?"
"i said 'i like your boots'"
sometimes he gets annoyed. but he also knows your trying your best to not get distracted by the smallest of things so much, so he's not as annoyed.
"dude, is your partner okay?" tachihara would whisper over to chuuya, who looked up from his book and saw you laid down on the floor staring at the ceiling.
your body in a star position.
"they're fine. don't worry, i'm used to it."
well that just makes it better!!
๋࣭ ⭑ atsushi nakajima 🐯
"done! babe, have you finished your papers?" atsushi peeks over your shoulder to see nothing but a blank page.
cue his shocked face thingy idk but he makes that face
"y/n! i gave you one page to finish-"
atsushi saw your eyes locked onto the door, watching it open and close each time someone walked through it in and out.
the pen in your hand spun arouns your fingers as your other hand was resting on your chin.
with a sigh, he would take your paper and finish it for you.
moments after just looking at you, not in a weird way but in a way to see when you'll get out of your trance, your boyfriend tickles your sides..
that brought you back.
"AHA! bahahabe?!"
you giggled as you rubbed your sides, looking at atsushi who smiled at you, hands resting above his stomach in a claw form.
"sorry, but you we're zoning out again! you really do get distracted easily."
you felt..flustered. you didn't know why, it just..made you blush each time he catches you zone out.
you look back at your paper to see he's done it for you already
"oh, i'm sorry.."
he would kiss your lips each time you would apologize, "don't be. it's cute. also, you can't help it. that's nothing to be sorry for. all we can do is help you try to get better!"
that took longer then he thought-
"okay, so what we need to get is milk, eggs, and- BABE DON'T WALK INTO THAT FRUIT STAND-"
he pulled you back, causing you to squeak as your back landed into his chest.
"huh?"
atsushi looks to see what you were looking at and it was the window. must've seen something that caught their eye.
never gets angry with you, but gets tired out having to look over you everyday.
but hes grown used to it, and finds you 10x more adorable<3
๋࣭ ⭑ ranpo edogawa 🔍
"y/n- are you paying attention to a single i'm saying?!" kunikida scolded you, and ranpo answered for you, "nope. they're not!"
your boyfriend was sitting beside you while you had your head resting on your arms, looking out the window that shined bright behind the closed curtain.
the moment you felt him tug on your nose, you rocket upward and sneezed.
"huh- what? i'm here!"
"of course you're here, however your mind is else where~" ranpo teased gently tapping on your forehead.
he knows all the time when your about to zone out, ot get distracted for a long period of time so he plans ahead.
"y/n! there you are- i'm all out of candy! can you run to the store and get me some?" he would ask the moment your about to zone out.
with a smile on your face, you agreed. leaving him feeling successful.
he finds it cute.
he doesn't even get mad at you, he just giggles and pokes your arm, leg, side, cheek, anywhere!
always keeps you on your feet so it's kinda hard for you to get distracted, however he doesn't control you.
when your on break, he sometimes catches you staring into space, or about to fall asleep due to how long you've zoned out for..
he catches you staring at him all the time, and he 100% teases you for it.
"did you know i have the cutest partner in the world~"
you shake your head.
he kisses your lips, "never change, sweetheart~"
๋࣭ ⭑ akutagawa ryunosuke 🩸
he snaps his fingers in front of your face.
"i asked you once already, pay attention, y/n!"
you blink at him, nodding your head.
2 minutes later he notices you've zoned out again.
he honestly doesn't know what to do other then to snap you back to reality.if yourhe doesn't know how to help, so when this happens more then twice a day he's kinda pissed.
but your his partner, so he can't stay mad at you forever<3
he tries to be softer when you, "y/n, this information's important, you have to-"
"they're not listening man-" chuutya butss in,
"i know that!" he glares at the gravity manipulater, and just lets you be.
when he see's you zoning out but nothing serious is happening, he'll kinda just look at you and try to figure out what's got you so fixated.
won't admit it, but they way your so focused is cute to him.
"what are you looking at?" he asked, standing behind you and tried to look in your direction...that just lead to you screaming, finally realizing he's there and punch him.
"omg- aku, i'm so sorry! are you okay- here let me-"
"i'm perfectly fine! don't touch me!"
it hurts, please hold me-
your zoning out and about to go to sleep- he'll wait to you go to sleep and either wrap a blanket around or kiss your temple whle walking out of the room.
he kinda just lives with the way you are, and would be pretty upset if you changed on him all of a sudden.
#bsd x reader#bungo stray dogs#bungo stray dogs x reader#bsd#bsd x y/n#bungou stray dogs#bsd headcanons#bsd dazai#bsd chuuya#bsd atsushi#bsd ranpo#bsd akutagawa#bsd dazai x reader#bsd chuuya x reader#bsd atsushi x reader#bsd ranpo x reader#bsd akutagawa x reader#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#atsushi nakajima#ranpo edogawa#akutagawa ryuunosuke#dazai x reader#chuuya x reader#atsushi x reader#ranpo x reader#akutagawa x reader#gender neutral reader#my writing
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─ 𝐚𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 - 𝐜.𝐟 : 𝐈𝐈
Summary: Now that your life has turned upside down, are you still willing to put your siblings' feelings first? Or would you rather fight for your feelings and do what makes you happy regardless of the consequences that might result in the future?
Prev ; Next || Conrad Fisher x fem!reader || My blog
Warnings: S2 SPOILERS! panic attacks (lmk if i missed anything!)
SEQUEL TO BEFORE EVERYTHING HAPPENED.
───────────────────────────
Belly's Pov
Me and Jeremiah decided to go to Aunt Julia's house — just to try to talk to her, maybe we can do something — maybe we can stop her from trying to sell the house.
We even decided to buy her flowers as an offering. As we arrived to her house, I took a deep breath and decided to hop out of the car —Jeremiah following behind me. I walked towards the door with Jeremiah beside me before ringing the door bell.
Aunt Julia opened the door before saying "Can I help you?" she asked. Jeremiah walked towards her and hugged her "Hey Aunt Julia" he said smiling — before pulling away. "Uh uhm Conrad told me you were here"
Aunt Julia looked at Jeremiah "Oh Jeremiah" she paused "and you are?" referring to me "I am Belly, Belly Conklin. Laurel Park’s daughter, Susannah's bestfriend" I told her smiling gently — giving her the flowers that I was holding.
"Oh wow, it's been so long" she said, scratching her forehead. "Uhm, we just wanted to say hi and maybe talk a little bit" Jeremiah chuckled before looking at her and smiling.
"Look uhm if its about the house, I'm sorry. It's decided" Aunt Julia said — smiling gently. Jeremiah's mouth frowned.
"Uhm we're actually doing an open house tomorrow."
"You.. you have to know how much that house means to Jeremiah and Conrad. That was their place, how-how can you let go of such a-a magical place?" I asked Aunt Julia.
"I remember her calling it that" Aunt Julia paused "But i-it's not personal" Jeremiah looked at her — brows furrowed "I bet" Jeremiah smiled sarcastically.
"I'm sorry, I have to go back to work" Aunt Julia said before closing the door. I looked at Jeremiah — I place my hand on his shoulder and patted it. We walked towards the car and drove off.
"I'm sorry, Jere" Jeremiah looked at me "It's okay, we cant really change someone's mind" he said — placing a hand on my shoulder.
TIME SKIP
"Where'd you guys go?" Conrad asked — his hair wet, he was wearing a surf suit. "We went to Aunt Julia's house" Jeremiah sighed.
Conrad face started to fill with hope "H-how did it go?" I looked at him "She's sure about this, Conrad. I don't think we can change her mind." I said -- he nodded before saying "Ofcourse"
───────────────────────────
It seems like the news that we were here in Cousins have spread fast as Taylor and Steven are on the way here. Apparently, me and Taylor were bad at lying thats why Steven knew about it immediately.
I hoped that Y/N was with them but Steven said no. He tried to push her to go but she said she need to do much more important things, I just miss her. We all thought that this news would make her come here but we were wrong.
Conrad and Jeremiah decided to talk to their dad. “Dad should be calling soon” Conrad said, informing Jeremiah.
“Do you guys want to talk to him alone?” I asked — not wanting them to be weirded out that I was there. “I-I can wait upstairs.”
As Jeremiah sat down, Conrad looked at me before saying “You helped me and J get this far. Plus its your house as much as it is ours” he smiled gently. I sat down as the phone started to ring.
AFTER A FEW MINUTES
We did everything, everything to save the house. Nothing is working, their dad is just letting it go. He just kept on sayong that it was legally Aunt Julia’s — it seemed like he never cared for it, for the house.
As the call ended, Taylor and Steven arrived to the house, surprising Conrad and Jeremiah. They were confused about why we looked down — I forgot to tell them that the house is on sale.
“We’re losing the house” Jeremiah said, sighing. “They’re putting it up for sale”
“Oh Cinderbelly” Taylor said as I stood up to hug her.
───────────────────────────
Conrad’s Pov
Here I was again, looking for her. Trying to see if she came with Steven and Taylor but no. She hasn’t even responded to my text. Maybe she’s busy.
I walked towards Jeremiah, sitting down beside him. “Hey” I said, patting his shoulder.
“You know, I thought I could convince dad. I thought we could” He sighed.
I nodded and sighed “I thought so too.” chuckling a little bit.
“It’s just.. it feels like everything is slipping away and-and the house is the only thing - the last thing tying us together” It was true, it did feel like it — we didn’t expect that we’d get together like this, that we’d be complete because of this reason.
“We’re not giving up, Jere” I looked at him shaking my head “We’re going to do something about it, I don’t have a plan. Not yet but I’ll do everything, we’ll figure ig out together.” I told Jeremiah. He nodded.
“I-I just hope she’s here, she’s the only one missing Connie” Jeremiah said — referring to Y/N. She just made everything less worse for everyone, I hope she was here too.
“Me too, Jere. Me too” I paused “You know, we should hang out tomorrow. Just all of us staying here for open house, that’d be a good plan” I chuckled
Jeremiah chuckled then nodded “Yeah we should definitely do that”
TIME SKIP
As me and Jeremiah got done talking we went inside the house and decided to hang out with the rest. They all sat down in their own places. “So what do you guys want to watch?” I asked.
“We should do… this one” Belly said — holding up mom’s favorite movie. I smiled taking it from her hands as I walked towards the tv — i mouthed a “thank you” to Belly.
After that, I went and sat the down on the other couch until I looked at my phone — recieving a text. I felt my chest tighten, I need to get out of the house. I stood up from my seat and went straight to the beach.
It was happening again, It attacked me again. I couldn’t breathe, it felt like someone was choking me. I pulled out my phone again — looking if the text was real, it was, I got in but what about Jeremiah, I can’t.
My mind filled with worried, with anxiety, not until another text popped up. It was like a coincidence, the text — my breathing is okay now, my heart is beating at a normal pace. The text was from the one that I have been waiting for.
She responded, it was from Y/N. She was going to come here, she’s coming here to Cousin. We’re complete now.
───────────────────────────
taglist : @maybankslover @urmomisafinewoman @user3729107491 @melllinaa @anthgoldenhrry @arunabrak @amj2277 @whoisalexa @remuslupinwifee @gulphulp @layanderson @astrvalee @goldenmoonbeam @podiumprincess @johannelis2302nely @silcintilla @smw-96 @apollo3475 @drikawinchester @fangirl-kimora @sanjanapm @milyswrld @scysuxx @starkeylover @fallingforel @mysticalstarlightflower @ifilwtmfc
the next part is here !! hope everyone likes it :)) lmk if y’all have requests and if you guys want to get tagged <3
love lots !!
#Spotify#tsitp#tsitp conrad#tsitp belly#tsitp jeremiah#tsitp steven#tsitp steven conklin#tsitp conrad fisher#tsitp fic#tsitp fanfic#tsitp imagine#conrad fisher#jeremiah fisher#steven conklin#conrad fisher imagine#conrad fisher x you#conrad fisher fanfic#conrad fisher fic#conrad fisher x reader#the summer i turned pretty#abtconrad fics#after everything that happened fic#conrad fisher x y/n
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things twitter migrants may find useful that dont often get included in "how to tumblr" posts
1- queueing!
instead of feeling bad for spam-reblogging and clogging up other people's feeds, you can click the dropdown and add it to your queue instead!
you can edit how many times a day your queue posts, and between what hours. You can easily re-order or completely shuffle your queue as well!
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG STUFF. Tumblr doesn't run on an algorithm!! YOU are responsible for putting cool stuff onto your followers feeds!
"but if i reblog too much people can't see my posts!" i have just the thing for you
2- personal tags
You can have different tags you use on your blog to help people navigate! for example, i use "dh rb art" when I reblog art and "dh rb" for most other reblogs- that's so that people can filter my reblogs out of their feeds if they dont wanna see that, and only want my original posts to show up.
On the other hand, my art is tagged "dh2497" so they can easily search my account for it!
If you open a person's blog and click the search button, a list of Featured Tags will show up. By default this is just the blogger's most used tags, but you can customize what shows up on yours in your blog settings
You can follow entire hashtags too! if you wanna see hermitcraft fanart without following every hermitcraft artist, follow the tag :D
3- Filtering
Tumblr actually hides things you don't wanna see, very nicely!
In your account settings, you can filter specific tags, and even specific words that show up in the post.
sometimes different bloggers warning tag differently (i do [trigger] tw or [content] cw) so you can try to input every variant, but if its something you really want to avoid just put it in the post content as well. Blocklists aren't really a tumblr thing, so if you wanna avoid an entire community you can block their tag as well
NEVER. CENSOR. YOUR WARNINGS. PLEASE. On twitter or tiktok or wherever, you may have to do that or else the algorithm suppresses it- THERES NO ALGORITHM HERE!!! if someone reblogs your post, it will show up for others, don't worry!!! you're just bypassing filters placed for people's safety, if you censor words.
Also! don't worry too much if a word you wanna filter is commonly used in unrelated contexts- tumblr doesn't remove it entirely, but rather adds a 'spoiler' so that you have to click on it to view it. So just in case it is what you want to avoid, you have time to prepare to see it.
4- effective tagging
[read more in detail here] Only the first 5 tags will show up for people who follow the hashtag. That makes them the most important! Then, the first 20 tags will make the post show up when searching that tag. The rest of them do not give your post any visibility.
I see a lot of people reblogging art with fanart tags- that can be useful for searching back the tag in the reblogger's blog specifically, but doesn't actually give the OP more visibility in that tag.
You'll learn what tags to use by checking the content you come across! most communities are "[word]blr", and most fanart goes "#[character/show] fanart". tumblr tags can have spaces!
Lastly, a few notes
you will only have 1 PRIMARY blog. this will appear when you like a post, comment on a post, or follow a blog. your sideblogs will not link back to your primary blog, but you cannot do those interactions as those sideblogs.
artists love receiving compliments when you reblog!! commenting does NOT boost the post. most people put their compliments in the TAGS of their reblog, so that it doesn't become a long post/thread, and if people reblog the reblog of your reblog you won't keep gettings notifications about it. The artist will still see and very much appreciate it
read up on tumblr etiquette, do not treat this place like twitter or you'll be disliked lol. there are some 'big blogs' but follower counts aren't public, popularity isn't a contest here. make friends, or just block/ignore people you don't get along with. no one cares about your petty arguments
if you noticed the lil cat in my screenshots, that's from a very useful browser extension called XKit!! it enables 1-click queue reblogs (automatically adding your tags), mass-post editing, and lots of other great tweaks vanilla tumblr doesn't have! and the cat is a silly cute thing you can enable in it as well
#hermitblr#trafficblr#empiresblr#hermittwt#traffictwt#how to use tumblr#how to tag on tumblr#tumblr help#i didnt mean for this to be a whole tutorial thing but if it helps one person it's worth the hour i spent on this
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Foegive me of this is a question you've answered in the past but, what are your thoughts on the scene at the beginning of Avengers 1 where Loki sort of doubles over/trips on his way out of the SHIELD base and it's never addressed?
Also thoughts on the canonicity of various myths to the MCU Loki backstory?
no worries, I don't mind answering questions twice. My blog is long and tales tales, so I understand if people don't want to hunt for answers and just reask stuff.
as far as your question goes,
SCREAMING SCREAMING SCREAMING. Do you KNOW how much I LOVE that SCENE (the answer is no because I haven't talked about it) but I LOVE THAT SCENE! That is THE scene to me. I love everything about how carefully it's handled because what you have to look for is SUBTEXT here, because the Avengers was written in a way that forces you to think. It doesn't lay everything out for you, it's intended you come to your own conclusions.
The Avengers trusts you and that is a very strange thing for media now. It's pretty rare to find one that doesn't treat you like an idiot.
Breaking this down:
The first frame with Loki is of him kneeling. That is the first thing we learn about him. I want you guys to remember that the introduction of a character is HUGE. It tells us the most important things for us to know about that character right now
So what do we need to know about Loki RIGHT THEn. Right at the start of the movie?
he's smart. He opened the portal with the Tesseract, from across space, and teleported himself to another planet. This is something no one has replicated (using an infinity stone from across space). Loki is said to "know it's workings like they never will" which says a lot about him.
Loki was GIVEN the scepter by the Chitauri, but if you watch that opening opening scene, it looks more like it's being forced on him than him GLADLY taking it. (There's this half second where the Other waits to make sure Loki is actually going to hold it. Loki doesn't reach for it until he has to. One of the most powerful objects in existence and it practically has to be shoved into his hands) Look how close their bodies are. Like bro???
-okay, then Loki comes through the portal and he is KNEELING. so the first, and I mean the VERY FIRST thing we need to know about Loki is that he is in the subservience of someone/thing else. This gif below is artwork of that moment, but still. Like. who do you think he's kneeling TO? Well, the opening scene of the Avengers showcases that the Other is kneeling to Thanos, Ergo, using the subtext trust that the director/writers have given us, that means Loki was kneeling to Thanos before he came through the portal.
And then, Loki comes out like a hunted animal, but he legitimately does not remember he's holding the scepter until Fury points it out to him. You can see him look down at it in confusion. And okay, WHY is he confused? I remember watching this for the first time at 14 and going huh, that's kinda weird he forgot he had the weapon. What this is trying to tell us is that this is not a familiar weapon to Loki AND -- it is doing something to him. It's emitting that same misty thing that it does when Loki possesses someone later. That wispy smoke is always so interesting to me because of the implications. The scepter doesn't do that unless it is FRESHLY possessing someone. And what do we know about Loki TWO SECONDS AGO?
he was kneeling to thanos.
Anyway, so Loki gives his name, is not a well man, and the scene you're actually referring to is this one:
which GETS ME EVERY TIME. I could talk aout this scene for hours. The implications of it. (Also if you've read my work YSFSLWFTCA, that man who grabs Loki's back is Nathan Swenson ;)
So I've been getting professional acting training for about 6-7 months now and one thing I have learned is that nothing makes it in the movie by accident. The director has to approve it, the editor, the producer, up the whole food chain. This was not Tom Hiddleston sneezing and then them keeping it in the movie because it's funny. So this was put in on purpose. They WANTED you to know that Loki isn't okay. And a scene like this would get like what? idk 3-6 takes at a minimum, which means that they flimed this ON PURPOSE 3-6 times. Tom Hiddleston was instructed to do this ON PURPOSE. That guy who approaches Loki's back was told to do that ON PURPOSE. Loki was supposed to be shown to be a mess physically. Like. Then they go and KEEP doing this later, when Loki can't get into the car and can barely keep himself upright. Loki doesn't start to look "okay" until Germany and even then he's not doing amazing.
What's interesting to me, beyond the obvious implications toward bodily harm - torture! :) - is the timing. Loki immediately topples when Clint hands the Tesseract to Selvig. There's something about Clint doing that that seems to cause him physical pain. That could be a coincidence, and I bet it is because it's not brought up again in the movie that the Tesseract exchanging hands gives Loki physical pain, but it is interesting.
Another interesting point is that Clint looks away, Selvig doesn't care, but that sheild agent Immediately moves up to put his hand on Loki's back to support him. And Loki doesn't flinch. That always struck me as weird, right, because even people who don't have trauma flinch when someone touches their back and they weren't expecting it. And Loki clearly wasn't? So why didn't he twitch at least a little? Tom Hiddleston is too good of an actor for that to be a mistake.
So to me that means that Loki just... doesn't have feeling in his spine at that moment. Or he was in too much pain to even register it. Loki was clearly tortured with some type of heat. If you watch him in this scene he's displaying all the signs of heat exhaustion. So I kinda think that maybe Loki got burned so badly on his back before this happened that he just... doesn't feel anything anymore. It had to have been recent for walking to nearly send him toppling, but Loki's back is a source of issues for the entire movie.
That is why this scene is here from a directing perspective. to SET UP Loki's back problems. The extent of them are left vague, but I think when Tom Hiddleston and Joss Whedon sat down to talk about Loki for the Avengers, one of the things they must have agreed on was that Loki was not in good physical condition and they planned to show that THE ENTIRE MOVIE. I don't know if they talked about torture or Thanos, but they talked about SOMETHING.
But I just...idk. That guy grabs Loki's back to support him in an effort to help and it's just so interesting to me. Because how does the mind control WORK then? Selvig is obsessed with the Tesseract. He almost seems possessed by that rather than Loki. Clint goes completely silent and doesn't do anything except the mission. THIS GUY immediately comes to take care of Loki, and Loki himself is ruthlessly efficient with one goal in his mind. So it's interesting. Subtext! :D
So what do I think about this scene. I think that Loki was tortured and his back is giving out and I LOVE THIS SCENE BECAUSE IT IS SO DARK BUT TRYING NOT TO BE.
Thanos' immediate response to something not going his way is torture and he knows Loki. Knows him well enough to pick his brother out of a crowd in Infinity War and leave him alive until the end. Knows him well enough to make his death personal. Strangulation is a crime of passion. Thanos hurt Loki and he knew Loki, and the idea that Thanos made sure that Loki wouldn't see the torture coming - by doing it to his back/spine - is just an extra layer of awful. Thanos left Thor alive. On purpose. He could have killed him. He didn't.
That was Loki's punishment. Leaving Thor alone. Because Thanos knew that would hurt him the most.
But Thanos also chose to kill Loki, and in infintiny war, while hunting the stones, Thanos doesn't make any unnecessary bodies. Which to me, means that Thanos had to kill Loki because he saw Loki as a threat.
So anyway, somehow I'm talking about Loki and Thanos again, who are my favorite horrible duo and I love talking about them because their relationship is so so messed up. I wish that the Loki series had DONE something with Thanos and Loki, but they didn't. :/
But why Loki's back? Like Thanos started with Loki's head in the post-credits scene of Thor 1:
why did he move to Loki's back? Also the fact that Thanos was having Loki hunt down the Infinity Stones through astral projection and/or enchantment is just so messed up and I love it. Wish it had been explored because THIS ^^^ was the giant beast I wanted poked at in Loki season 1.
#loki#loki meta#in defense of loki#loki was tortured#loki and thanos#their relationship is THE torture/torturee dynamic to me#even including Sam and Lucifer from SPN who also have an equally messed up horrible terrible relationship#i just love the torture/torturee relationships that are just digustingly intimate in a non-romantic way#because torture for the same of torture is just business#there's something terrifying about it being personal#so anyway always happy to talk about thanos and loki#like literally always#this makes me want to write about them lol#*sighs happily* so messed up
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One of my recent posts got a few comments about media literacy being dead and Neil being an unreliable narrator so I want to clear some things up.
Firstly, media literacy isn't dead becuase it cannot die. Also, I am not a big fan of fear mongering. Humans have always sought to understand and communicate with each other about the things we create. It is a skill that can be taught and should be practiced. There is no one right way to do it. And, while I think the education system fails so many of us (something something to make us easier to control something something), I also think that there are tons of resources to help us learn without the need for an official "teacher". So, instead of pessimistically saying is it "dead" (especially on someone's textual analysis post, like... are you saying I prove it's dead becuase I don't have media literacy? are you agreeing with me and therefore proving yourself wrong? do I not count for some reason? i don't think I get it), engage in discourse about media that you love. And I mean actual discourse, not just fighting on social media about whether or not everyone should "like" your favorite character. Ask yourself "what is the effect of this rhetorical device in the text?" "is the text trying to make me like or not like this character? is it working, why or why not," (do not ask "why did the author do this?" because that is not relevant nor are you a mind reader). Take free online Literature classes from colleges that help you learn how to analyze. Invite others to do it with you. Join or start a book club. Engage in various types of media, not just YA, fantasy, fiction, etc. Consider kindly rebutting or offering a counter point to other people's interpretations, bringing actual textual evidence to back up your points. Use Google Scholar to access free scholarly articles to see academic prospectives on various medias that are not just from social media or blogs. Your local library may even have subscriptions to paid sights like JSTOR or collections of essays that would let you access articles that are otherwise behind a paywall. All of these things can help improve your own media literacy and, in turn, will help improve the media literacy of the people around you.
Secondly, the point of my other post was NOT that Neil is an unreliable narrator. I've seen a lot of people make this claim so I wanted to chime in. Unreliable narrators are marked by a few characteristics, some of which are exaggeration, detachment from reality, naivety, and deception of the reader. I don't believe Neil falls into any of these categories. I would be open to arguments that claim he does, but it would be hard to sway me because I can't find any textual evidence to support it. This is an important distinction to me because the larger claim I make in that post is that ALL narration, 1st person, 3rd person, omniscient, limited, etc is biased- all of it. It is CRUCIAL as readers to identify a narrators biases and consider the text through that lens. If you aren't practicing doing that (or only doing it when the narrator is "unreliable") you can easily fall into the trap of saying "well Neil says Kevin is a coward so he is", which is obviously an issue in the grand scheme of textual analysis. However, you can also easily fall into the trap of saying "Neil is an unreliable narrator because he is wrong about things/lies to people/has trauma so you can't trust him". I believe that Neil tells us as the reader the truth in his narration almost 100% of the time, Neil just lies to the other characters 24/7. So, as readers we should take what he says in his internal monologue at face value but question the motives behind his dialogue with other characters.
Anyway, that was a long winded, probably boring monologue about critical textual analysis. I devote maybe 16 out of my 18 waking hours to thinking about this, so thanks for hanging in there to read it all. I just care so deeply that we as a culture continue to grow these skills without shaming those who haven't had the same opportunities to learn how to do it or making the act of learning how to feel hopeless or doomed.
#also if anyone wants to chat about this further#i would love that#also i have a few tools to help learn how to analyze texts that i found helpful#if anyone wants me to share#this topic is a#special interest#anyway#all for the game#the foxhole court#aftg#nora sakavic#neil josten#kevin day#media literacy#media analysis#I have to learn the skill of brevity at some point in time#but alas#today is not that day
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Your blog is such a breath of fresh air. Experienced shifters have been deactivating their blogs left and right lately (mainly reasons relating to the tumblr community becoming too negative), the community is still mostly filled with people who are still learning so I hardly hear about successes (if ever), and when it comes to those who are successful, so few people share their experiences in such detail nowadays. Not that they have to of course. I do feel shifting is a personal and private thing and people are entitled to their privacy, but I can't tell you the last time I've seen someone share such specific, mundane details about their other lives. I just wanted to thank you so much for covering details so many people flat out don't get into when it comes to talking about their DRs. It really helps hammer it home that this is indeed real to those still questioning it.
thank you for the kind words.. it really means so much to me that people find solace in my stories and ramblings!
when I first shifted in 2020, I immediately knew I wanted to share my experiences and provide help, especially since many people were skeptical and discovering shifting. I used to share a lot of methods and stories over on tiktok, but I have to admit that I also thought the community got overwhelmingly negative with the rise of shiftok, and that lead to me leaving my account.
I instead told my family about shifting, and they were surprisingly supportive! it definitely took them a while to accept that this was something I do, but my family is pretty eclectic and they even had some experiences themselves! I know that is not common at all, but my mom loves to hear my stories and she knows about my old account / used to watch it. so, one day we were talking about my first shift to the burrow, and she said she thought it was a mistake that I left my account because my stories make me so passionate and she can see that!!
that is where this blog was born! I usually just use this to ramble about the random things, but I've heard that those are the most motivating and I have to agree. I always loved reading the little mundane details, and those helped me most on my journey to validate that this experience felt like real life.
if I can help any shifters, I will be so glad! shifting changed the direction of my life so much, and I can't ever imagine stopping bc it is so important to me! for now, I love to document as much as I can and use this blog as a personal journal, but one day I would love to maybe aid in research about shifting or write a book or something?? my mom always says that she would love to see me get a brain scan while I shift, but I dunno if that would actually do anything with it being consciousness and all! but I am so glad my passion is reflecting in my blog and you all enjoy it!!
I am open to try and answer any questions! this blog is also so motivating for me as well when I feel myself in a shifting slump, and answering these questions just makes my heart swell with happiness
thank you for sticking around! good luck shifting everyone!!
DAPHNE
#daphs ramblings#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifting#shifting blog#shifting community#desired reality#reality shifter#shifting ideas#shifting stories#reality shifting blog#realityshifting#harry potter shifting
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a brief retrospective on Louis and Violet as love interests, Clementine's bisexuality, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this
In December of 2019, I made a series of posts called "An Explanation of Why Louis and Violet are Both Excellent Love Interests" that explored my feelings on the topic after seeing a lot of fighting in the fandom over who's better; who is the "right" choice for Clementine?
The answer is simple: there isn't an objectively correct choice.
I compared Louis and Violet to the romantic options in other games, including Life is Strange, Persona 4, King's Quest 2015, and Catherine, as well as TWDG: A New Frontier. I wanted to show how much better TFS handled the romance versus those games, why we should be grateful for what we got since it could've been a lot worse, and how the fighting over who's "right" was a waste of time.
I suppose it's only fitting that I'd be driven to revisit this topic after seeing fans continue to argue amongst themselves over this years later in the trenches of a weakening fandom.
Just when I think I'm done writing pieces for TWDG, some random redditor writes an essay about how violentine only exists for "woke points" that grabs me by the throat and throws me down. Then another will insist that clouis is abusive since Louis voted against them in ep2 in their own essay and I'm dragged back here, kicking and screaming.
While I think my previous Excellent Love Interests posts about this are on the juvenile side, I do still agree with my main point: Louis and Violet are excellent characters who make for compelling love interests. The fact that we got them both, that we were given the choice, and that they're as well done as they are, is something I don't think we appreciate enough. Hell, I don't think we even appreciate that Clementine's a canonically bisexual protagonist as much as we should.
We're too busy trying to one up each other with, "Well, actually, clouis is superior because of this and this," and "no, you're wrong, violentine is actually better because of this and this," and sometimes a wild non-shipper will appear out of nowhere to slap down an, "actually, you both suck, singletine is better."
It's sad that this is what fandom inevitably defaults to, always. It stops being about the game we love, the thing that brought us here, and it becomes a pissing match.
Doesn't matter what fandom it is; we end up projecting too much of ourselves onto fictional characters, investing too much of our time into ship culture, hyper-fixating until it becomes part of us... and let's be real, sometimes it's in unhealthy ways.
So, when someone else attacks the things we're attached to, it becomes a personal attack... and when we feel threatened, we become defensive and retaliate... and sometimes, we take it too far and target others out of insecurity, to feel validated, even if it means going after someone who is just minding their own business.
Also, I think some people are just assholes who want to piss on everyone.
Because of this, I would like to discuss Louis and Violet as romanceable characters, why they're both important to TFS no matter who you choose, why Clementine being a bisexual protagonist matters, and the fandom's continued insistence on fighting over this.
For many personal reasons, I've always been trepid about being open with my sexuality as a bi woman. I've done a lot of reflection this year on why that is; internalized misogyny, the biphobia that lingers in the queer community, insecurities, regrets, how I tend to be harsher on female characters over male characters, why it took me so long to not feel afraid of engaging with queer media, admitting I was wrong about so many things I've said in the past, how it's all affected my writing, etc.
When TFS released and I made this blog, I had already accepted my bisexuality but was in no way public about it, not online or in my personal life. But playing the first two episode of TFS, being presented with both Louis and Violet as potential romantic partners struck something inside of me.
Yes, I picked Louis; we all know I'm a major clouis shipper at this point, and if you're new here, then now you know, too.
But it's the fact that Violet's also an option, that with just a few different button presses, Clementine could've fallen for her just as she did with Louis; that there's evidence in game that she shows interested in both of them no matter your choices; that no one in-game judges Clementine for who she chooses to be with... that meant something to me in a way that it hadn't before.
TFS wasn't the first game I played with a bi protagonist; in Excellent Love Interests, I compared Louis and Violet to Life is Strange's Chloe and Warren. I have a lot of mixed feelings about the first LiS game overall, but I've been quite open about my dislike of Chloe and indifference to Warren.
Chloe, to me, is everything I dislike in a love interest, predominately in wlw. 2023 was the year of "CJ dives into sapphic literature and it's a 50/50 chance of striking gold or gettin' hella eaten by disappointment, shaka brah." Meaning I've read a lot of wlw novels, and all the ones I hated featured a Chloe clone, sometimes done even worse.
And Warren? I'll be real honest with you- I couldn't even remember what his name was when I started writing this. I had to go back and check. That tells you what I think of him, no?
So, LiS didn't strike me the same way. Sure, I knew Max was a bi protagonist and that's great, but the choices weren't appealing to me. This was when I was a teenager still somewhat in denial of my sexuality, which most definitely contributed to me being uncomfortable when faced with a wlw relationship portrayed in-game, especially when I found myself wishing Kate was an option for Max... but y'know, "shhhhhhh if I don't acknowledge it, it doesn't exist."
When the first episode of TFS released, I was older, I was no longer in a not-so-great relationship, and had better accepted who I am. The first episode does a great job of introducing you to Louis and Violet, and giving you the opportunity to spend more time with the one you're interested in.
I actually really liked them both when ep1 dropped, but I've always had a preference for a character who is kind, deflects with humor, and tends to be picked on by the rest of the cast... so it was inevitable that I'd stick with Louis. Though I won't discredit Violet in ep1, or the rest of the game, just because I didn't choose her in the end.
That's one of the best things about Louis and Violet as options; they're opposites, yet alike in many ways. They have their appeals and charms. They're flawed. It never feels like a "love triangle" situation where they're fighting over Clementine. Louis and Violet are friends who have known each other from before the walkers came. It's refreshing to have two characters who are interested in the same person but don't go for each other's throats over it. When they do argue over her, it's more to do with AJ shooting Marlon and whether it's safe for the group to let them stay.
I can't fault anyone who struggled to pick between them. When someone talks about who they picked and why, it's all about the player's preferences.
It's your choice to make, and no matter what, you're not wrong for it.
This season concludes Clementine's story, regardless of what some comics will say. It's the last fight. It's her happy ending. She and AJ finally found a home, a family.
I've played these games since S1 came out in 2012, over ten years ago. Clementine holds a special place in my heart. Not only did this important character have a great final season [despite Telltale shutting down and TFS nearly being left incomplete, remember] but she's also revealed to be canonically bisexual.
They didn't release the whole season and then as an afterthought be like, "oh yeah btw she's bi, she has oneline of flirty dialogue with this character so see? we did good rep."
Yeah, I'm side eyeing you, ANF.
They didn't try to hide it. They presented it to the player unapologetically and made a conscious decision to exclude anything biphobic from other characters... which meant a lot to me.
Biphobia is real and it's not that I don't want it explored well in media, but there's something appealing and safe about a game with a bisexual main character who isn't questioned about it negatively; "You're bi? Doesn't that mean you cheat on all your partners?"
To give a compliment to Life is Strange: True Colors, I had a similar feeling in that game, too. Alex is openly bi, she can date either Steph or Ryan and no one questions the "legitimacy" of her bisexuality.
Because that's always a thing on top of everything else, y'know? "You're a bad bi unless you're with the 'gayer option.'" "Bisexuality isn't real, you're just confused." "I don't date girls who've been tainted by a man." "Oh, you're into girls? How about a threesome?"
Violet never turns her nose up at Clementine for admitting she had a crush on Gabe. Louis isn't ever gross about Clementine and Violet getting close. It speaks volumes for their characters and how accepting they, and everyone else at Ericson, are of Clementine no matter who she chooses, if anyone.
That acceptance, even if it's just in a game, means more than words can express to queer players who don't feel that acceptance in their daily lives.
Which means it hurts all the more when it comes to the fandom's own display of biphobia; "You're bi but ship clouis? Why ship something hetero when violentine is right there?" "Well, MY Clementine's straight because she picked Louis! Stop forcing the gay onto MY Clementine!"
Clementine's important to all of us. Why do you think so many people are pissed about the comics to the point of spewing disgusting bile toward Tillie Walden? I've said my piece on that plenty times before, so allow me to say it on this; the representation of bisexuality in Clementine is beautifully woven through TFS in ways that are subtle yet impactful, and I thank TFS for giving that to us.
One argument I've come across recently against Clementine's bisexuality, and violentine in general: "blegh they only included violentine/made Clem bi for lgbt points." y'know... as if that's a bad thing.
It bothers me because A. saying "I'm not homophobic *but*-" and then making a homophobic argument against violentine while insisting that Clementine's bisexuality came out of nowhere and was forced is icky, and B. I know I've said similar things about violentine in the past. I know I used to argue that violentine's underdeveloped, yet the devs pushed it to the forefront over clouis to pat themselves on the back for doing representation, etc.
I don't believe that anymore; remember when I brought up people making arguments out of insecurity? Yeah, that and being lowkey bitter that violentine got more dev attention than clouis sometimes even though like... that doesn't matter? It literally doesn't matter. That's what I meant when I said you get so invested that certain things feel like a personal attack when they're not.
Some of the developers of TFS are queer people. They probably wanted a bi protagonist with a wlw option because that representation is important to them and they had the opportunity to express it, not because they were trying to get "points" with anyone. Go listen to the commentaries for TFS; they talk about violentine with nothing but positivity, and they didn't do that to shade Louis or clouis shippers. And if you do think they did it shade fans, then maybe stop and consider why; do you actually believe that or are you annoyed that your fave wasn't the center of attention?
On the flip side, I also want to say that gloating and insisting that violentine is the better/right choice because of these things is also unpleasant and untrue. It sucks when it feels like things are biased against you and it sucks even more when that bias is weaponized by other fans to beat you down.
But honestly? If you need this much validation on your opinions about fictional characters, maybe you should stop to think about why that is and what it says about you, yeah?
Truly, this whole clouis versus violentine thing is irritating at best, vile at worse. Thankfully it doesn't happen as much on tumblr given the state of the fandom, and everyone's at least agreed that no matter their feelings toward each other, clemricca is worse. So, that's something, I guess.
I think the best way I can put this is you don't get to dictate what other people think and feel. Being passionate is great until it becomes an excuse to be an asshole. Not everyone is going to agree with you and you need to put your big kid pants on and accept that.
I'm under no impression that the fighting will ever stop, even when this fandom is dried up with only bones and memories haunting its desert... but at the very least, I can point some of it out and ask that we do better than this.
The focus gets lost in the fighting, and that focus is Louis and Violet themselves. Y'know, the two this retrospective's about.
Remember when I talked about Persona 4 in Excellent Love Interests and how much it sucks when the person you want to romance isn't actually an option--?
Hmm? What's that? Ah, yes, right- @pi-creates insists I add that TFS and Persona 4 actually are the same because Aasim wasn't an option and they're still bitter about that... but this isn't about Aasim, that's a topic for another day. Sorry Pi, but thanks for the screenshots used in this retrospective👍
Anyway, TFS gave us two excellent choices, and it would've been worse off had it only given us one of them, or none at all.
Louis wears charisma as a mask and uses humor as a shield to deflect. Violet, for as quiet and standoffish as she first appears, has a heart she's both eager and reluctant to share.
Louis is warm curtains of sunlight seeping through the murmuring woods of green leaves and little song birds. A heart carved into the rustic wood of an out-of-tune piano. Music echoing in the early morning hallways.
Violet is the glow of a full moon that illuminates still waters so the stars can dance in its reflection. Paint smeared over finger tips to offer a piece of herself meant to be worn. Constellations of stars named in secret.
They're both lonely people, often misunderstood by the others at Ericson, and sometimes by each other. They want to be known. They want to be seen.
But fear is a powerful wall to overcome.
And that's the beauty of choice. You get the impression of knowing them in the beginning, but it rarely breaks surface tension; Louis is nice and funny but undependable, Violet's rude and reserved and a little awkward. Neither are outspoken about any issues around Ericson, content to keep their heads down.
Clementine has to make the effort to know them, and the game establishes this by asking you an unassuming question: do you want to go hunting with Louis or fishing with Violet?
Clementine either makes an effort to understand Violet's feelings toward Brody and why she's so mean to her, and try to help her through it... or she doesn't listen to what Violet's saying, is dismissive, and ends up making things worse.
When Clementine goes hunting with Louis, she has to make the decision to spend time with him or ignore him in favor of hunting, and should she choose him, he opens up to her just a bit.
Then comes the confrontation with Marlon at the end of the episode where Clementine has to make the choice of who to appeal to. The gravity of this choice is often glossed over, I think.
Marlon has a gun pointed at her head, and she pleas for Louis or Violet to step in and save her. Both are hesitant because of course they are! They've known Marlon longer, he has a gun, and he's using manipulation to scare them into submission; he uses his friendship against Louis, and Minerva against Violet.
But when Clementine gets through to them? They stand between her and Marlon in rather in-character ways; Louis eases in with his hands up, attempting to deescalate the situation while Violet pulls out a weapon and demands he back off.
They risked getting shot. They risked death. They knew what was happening was wrong. They didn't want Clementine to die, they didn't fully believe Marlon's bullshit but were too scared to step forward until Clementine asked them, too. In that moment she basically told them, "I trust you. Instinct tells me you are the one who can stop this. My life is in your hands."
This choice changes them, and this moment ripples through the rest of the season. It makes perfect sense that Louis would be upset over Marlon's death and feel unsafe with Clementine and AJ there whereas Violet sees the death as justified and Clementine and AJ shouldn't be kicked out over it. It's an overwhelming situation for everyone.
I've talked about ep2 and the vote until my lungs nearly collapsed and I saw the gates of Hell over the horizon... but that's fine, I can talk a little more about it and maybe this time the flames with cleanse me of my sins or something.
This is where the fighting really began, and I shouldn't have to say it again, but I will anyway: There isn't an objectively correct answer here, there's only personal preference.
Louis and Violet take very clear, opposite stances on this situation. I think they're both a little wrong and a little right; they shouldn't ignore that AJ killed Marlon, but kicking them out isn't the best solution either.
As a clouis shipper, I happen to like the way these events play out with Louis' vote. But not everyone feels that way. For some, Louis' vote is a deal breaker, making Violet the more appealing option given she voted for Clementine and AJ to stay.
Do you want a girl that's been by Clementine's side from the beginning and was vocal about keeping her and AJ here?
Great, Violet's the choice for you. Enjoy the lovely moonlight and constellation mini-game.
Do you want the extra angst of a boy who made a vote he comes to regret and then does everything he can to apologize and make it up to Clementine?
Wonderful, here's Louis. He'll play you a song he wrote and then name it after Clementine, it's very cute.
While on the topic of ep2, I also want to discuss the episode's final choice of saving either Louis or Violet and the consequences.
You know how in other games, say like massive RPG's with "good" and "evil" choices you can make that end up defining your character? You know how sometimes people question why developers even bothered putting those evil routes in since a majority of people will choose to be good? This isn't a new topic of discussion, but it's relevant to my point- they do it because the option to be evil makes the choice to be good more impactful. If you do choose to be evil, you did it knowing you could've been good and yet you decided chaos was the way to go, and now everyone and everything around your character suffers.
I don't think it only applies to binary "good" versus "evil" choices, either.
TWDG is great with its "You can only save one of them" choices, even if they usually fumble with the consequences in later episodes.
When I'm faced with this choice to save either Louis or Violet, I don't save Louis just because I like him more. Sure, initially that's why I saved him on my first run... but then the rest of the season came out and I learned the consequences of the choices I did and didn't make.
Knowing that he'll get his tongue cut out if I don't save him makes me all the more anxious to choose him. And I know violentine shippers are gutted knowing that if they don't save her, she'll feel so betrayed that she turns on Clementine and in the end is blinded in the boat explosion, so they're just as eager to save her.
But all of us have to live with the consequences of what happens to the one we didn't save, too. We made the decision to save the one we love at the cost of hurting the other we didn't love enough. You can't save them both. You're forced to hurt one of them in order to protect the other.
And it doesn't even stop there. TFS isn't done twisting the knife.
Mere moments before you have to make the choice to save one of them, Lilly's standing over Clementine with her finger on the trigger... only to then be tackled by the person you didn't choose to spend time with.
They just saved Clementine's life only to be dragged away by their neck, and the game asks you what that's worth: They got captured saving you, so do you save them in return or do you remain loyal to the one you chose before?
And when you know the consequences of both routes, when you know Louis will have his tongue cut out and Violet will have her eyes burned?
Louis and Violet are good people at their cores who only wanted to be understood and loved, and no matter what, you have to abandon one of them for the other... and they are left physically and mentally traumatized because of it.
But wait, there's more. The one you didn't save will always survive to the end and act as a constant reminder of what you chose... but the one you saved? If you don't trust AJ, then you'll be forced to watch them get torn apart and eaten alive by a herd of walkers. The only way to save them is to trust AJ so that he shoots Tenn.
A child has to die in order for you to save the one you love again, a choice you indirectly made.
The ending shows you the one you didn't save, and it shows you Tenn's grave... and it presents a quiet question: was it worth it?
Would you make those choices again?
That's the power Louis and Violet bring to TFS.
That's why the choice matters.
We justify trusting AJ because we'd rather see Louis and Violet live over Tenn, knowing we're taking away the best friend AJ's ever had and allowing Minerva to get her way. We save Louis knowing that it breaks something inside of Violet and results in her permanently losing most of her eyesight. We save Violet knowing that we'll find Louis bloody and sobbing in the cell after having his tongue cut out of his mouth.
And we argue about it amongst ourselves even though it's all fucked. There isn't a true happy ending here, not for everyone.
Louis and Violet stand on their own as great characters, but you only get the true depth depending on how you play. They're excellent love interests because they care for Clementine. Through their relationship with her, they grow as people and find the acceptance and love they're starved for.
It's not perfect, but it honestly doesn't need to be. There was care woven into these characters. Both routes have a wide appeal. That means something to so many people.
I know we as fans often will say we wanted more, we wanted this and that, we wish this was different. It's not a dating sim where the main objective is to woo them. It's not a massive RPG with hundreds of hours to explore every nook and cranny of their characters. This is a Telltale game. It's a narrative with Clementine and AJ at the forefront, and it's up to you whether you want Louis or Violet to share that spotlight.
It's a story about Clementine finding a home, about molding what kind of survivor AJ comes. It's about Clementine meeting two broken people with glass shards at their feet, about her glass mixing with theirs. It's a game about choice; which glass pieces do you pick up, and which do you step on?
We should take more time to appreciate Louis and Violet. We should share our appreciation for the development team for giving us a bisexual lead with two great love interests, especially since we almost didn't get TFS in its entirety; we can hate Skybound as much as we want for the Clementine comics, but without them, this team wouldn't have been able to finish the game they were clearly passionate about.
We should have more self-awareness and try to understand why we like and dislike things without targeting others.
In conclusion?
I think they're both neat 👍
#twdg#twdg clementine#twdg louis#twdg violet#twdg clouis#twdg violentine#clouis#violentine#long post#i didn't plan on writing this for new years but here we are#might as well end 2023 with some clouis and violentine talk mixed in with some self-reflection and shade toward reddit#i have many thoughts so thanks for reading them
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End of October Update
There's got to be a less clunky way for me to title these things but maybe I'll figure it out after a few posts.
Anyway at the top of the order I want to say that uh... the Abacelsus zine is not happening by halloween unforch.. I just started school part-time and it being part-time is still kicking my ass! So tentative release date will be on 11th November unless something else happens....
On the plus side I'm done with the cover so all that's left is the back page and cramming all 24 pages full of drawings 👍
-> As I've said at the end of my previous post I want to make more blog style posts so here's me trying to do that, more under the cut
🔐Abacelsus Zine
I'm still deciding on whether i want to print it A5 or B5 but I'm leaning towards A5, though for the digital release it doesn't really matter lol
As mentioned, I'm done with the main cover so I just need to fill this entire thing with stuff, I said 24 pages but really the total page count is 30. I'm just not counting the cover and the blurb stuff.
I'm half taking a break with this at the risk of burning myself out and half paralysed with starting it. Plus I've kind of been more into Axl & I-no hilariously but I'll always love A.B.A. I think the lack of any real info really lends her well to interpretation which is always fun.
I've never really been one to engage in fandom so I'm probably going to be doing my own thing. That being said if anyone has any suggestions feel free to drop them in my strawpage or ask box :)
🥤 Strawpage & General Socials
The bugs make my pages so decorative, I gotta draw more bugstyle guys.
Speaking of strawpage, I made one of those! It was really fun, I have a short OC info tab with descriptions of some of my main guys. I'd love for you to check it out.
This kind of acts as my ask box for twitter since there's not one there and apparently it's basically my main social media site these days so I'm just mirroring my experience here over there too.
Hilarious timing considering that it's basically collapsing on itself once again, I'll probably still be on that damn site until it implodes but I also have a Bluesky account for those that care about it.
The sky follower bridge extension is really useful for bulk following people from twitter to bsky
I'd love to post there more but there's not a queue function and that's very important to me as someone who is not American and lazy to remember optimal timings.
Did you see? I also have a new pinned for this blog! Wanted to make a new one for a while now, always thought the old one was so freaking long. All the old info is still on my about and faq page though I don't know who actually looks at those.. a relic from years past..
☹ School
Sigh, like I mentioned earlier I'm doing school again! At my big age, but I'm having fun so far! It's part-time but it's still kicking my fucking ass! It's the main reason why I'm a little disoriented this month honestly.
Do you like it? I spent an entire Sunday making my class miro board look niceys and then proceeded to get nauseous from cybersickness afterwards LOL
I'm doing a UI/UX course and I have to say the funnest part about it is making personas, it's like making OCs. Don't particularly like writing though.. but also that's a lie considering the numerous amount of paragraphs in this blog post alone haha
🎁 Merch
I've also gotten confirmation that I'll be boothing again next year in Febuary! So I gotta start locking into making more stickers and general merch. I say this a lot but I do need to look into opening an online store because I just have tonnes of stickers and stuff lying around waiting till the next time I do a convention which is kind of a shame.
Oh, but I will say that if you are from Singapore and would like anything from my previous convention catalogue feel free to shoot me a DM on instagram and I can mail it to you locally, shipping's $2 SGD.
➰Closing Thoughts
All in all, been kind of busy this month with school and various loose threads from September but overall I think I'm doing better! I've also been cooking lately and truthfully that's my biggest achievement this month haha, been also getting really into canned fish. Yummy!
Oh and a last thing is that I've been itching to animate again so I'll end this post with a WIP of a gif I did last night/morning. I almost always never finish my animations but here's hoping this one actually makes it to the colouring stage haha
No prizes to anyone who can guess who these two because of course.
Thank you for reading! I know I can't expect everything to be done in a single month but I just wish I could do everything without getting tired or cybersick! If you'd like to support me, here's my ko-fi page and my itchi.io & gumroad as well.
If you have any questions or just generally want to talk to me, my DMs and askbox is always open! Any professional enquires can be sent towards my email as well: [email protected]
XOXO, Stay weird!
-Eliot :)
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As Long as I'm Thinking about Job Interview Stuff
Here's my general pattern for answering the "Tell us about time you failed / dealt with a bad co-worker / had to struggle to complete something /etc."
These questions are asked to suss out if you're an asshole. The reason there's more than one of them is to see if you have a shit talking problem that can take a little time to show itself. Basically, interviewers are trying to get a sense of if you're gonna be a fucking problem once you're comfortable at a new workplace.
I literally once watched myself lose a job because the managers asked, "How do you deal with people who might be temperamental at times?" It was a software company, so I figured they meant "At least one of our engineers is a huge asshole, but we think he's worth keeping around even if he yells at people." And so I said, "Look, we all have our moments, and I do my best to be understanding if someone's having a tough time. I think it's important to remember we're all working together and trying to make something succeed. That being said, if the problem is I'm getting yelled at because someone else is being unprofessional, I'm not going to stand there and allow that abuse. I will be talking to HR, at a minimum, and if that doesn't resolve it, I will take care of it myself."
And, let me be clear, the moment any positive vibes left the room was when I said, "I'm not gonna stand there and allow that abuse." Which told me EXACTLY how they were handling the situation currently.
Anyway, sorry for the recipe blog wander. Back to the point. Here's how I handle the questions where they want you to discuss something negative.
I take a moment to think. Yes, I know the question is coming and already have a few options picked for an answer, but taking a moment to think before answering means I'm not gonna stumble over my words when I start.
Start with the negative. If the question is, "Tell us about dealing with a difficult co-worker," Start at the problem. "Well, I remember once I worked with someone who really didn't like answering questions via email."
Explain why it made the job difficult. "Given that what I do is focused on getting things written down, I prefer sending questions via email whenever possible so I always have a clear starting point on the information I use, even if the information changes a lot through conversation."
Restate the problem as the beginning of the solution. "But, this person didn't like to answer questions in writing, so I started going over to his desk and asking him the questions."
Say something nice about the problem. "He was great face-to-face. Always happy to help."
Explain the solution. "And it turned out he was happy to read anything I would print out and hand him. So, I'd go ask him the questions, go back to my desk and do a first draft based on what he'd said, and then give him a physical copy to mark up."
Stamp a positive final remark on it. "Once I realized how to best communicate with him, he was very open to helping. If I walked over with a first draft, he'd just look at it right then so I could make updates as quickly as possible. And he started letting me know if there were any major design changes on the way and explaining it to me earlier in the process, which made it easier to make updates."
That's my technique. The biggest thing of it, I think, is to make sure your answer is sincere. Don't use a situation where you still want to shove someone into traffic. Pick a situation where you feel like it actually turned out well in the end.
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