#but if anyone reads this and goes there and gets hurt
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brummiereader · 2 days ago
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@mischievouslittlecreature 😬...he's not giving in easily when it comes to Lizzie, is he? At least, not yet. Urghh, I can't watch, but I wana watch 😭🙈!
With the business with Jessie and Lizzie, Lucy feels different to me. I don't know how to properly articulate it, but she just kinda seems like she's just going with the flow but deeply, deeply sad about everything. She just seems...done 😥. Tommy has all these ambitions and things going on with Lizzie, and I get the sense that Lucy has been completely worn down by it all. I appreciate how he's always checking on her wellbeing, but from the readers perspective, we're really starting to see a change in Lucy and how things she once enjoyed are starting to become a burden/anxiety inducing.
“You can’t be unmarried with an illegitimate child if you want to move into politics, Tommy.” Urghh, I know the topic of marriage has to be brought up. But you can tell from both Tommy and Lucy's remarks that neither of them want to be even thinking about the mere idea of it. He's a fucking gangster though! And illegitimate child it's hardly something people should be fussing about considering his line of work 😂. I swear, these posh/high society people have more twisted morals than anyone in Birmingham!
“You okay?” Tommy whispered to her in the dark. When she didn’t respond right away, his voice grew a little strained with worry. “Lucy?” yeh, I'm starting to think she's done with these threesomes now. It starting to look like a chore for her when she once enjoyed it. I find it interesting how she reflects on it, and if it's because of what happened to Luca or Lizzie. But I think that it properly goes further back than that. Little by little we've started to see how, even though they enjoy it, they seek each other out more during those encounters. Maybe they just want each other, but continue with them because it's a force of habit and a job that needs doing. Is Lucy waiting for Tommy to say that's enough now, do you think? Because she really doesn't seem into it.
Looking around, a beat of panic tightened in his throat at no sight of her distinctive crimson hair. His heart started to pound hard in his chest. No. No, no, no, no…he’d just left her there for a second. Ahh Tommy 😭. They way he panicked when he couldn't see her, and how he had to control himself from falling apart when she turned up😩. He's absolutely petrified of losing her again, even for the tiniest of seconds.
Another edition to their family 🥰! I love how Tommy was pouty about it first but quickly caved in when he saw how much Lucy had already fell in love with the little kitten. He's a big softie really! And that line about how he had knocked someone up, so she should be able to keep that cat, got a giggle from me 😂.
Urghhhh it hurts 😭! I know Ruby is an innocent baby in this mess, but my heart still dropped when I was reading about Lucy's struggle seeing Tommy with Lizzie and their little family she doesn't feel a part of Fuck sake Tommy, your pull out method is weak 😬! Look at the heartache you've caused 😩.
She followed Tommy and Lizzie down the stairs, lingering back to let them both go first, walking side by side with their baby while she trailed behind them; alone. Fuck sake...this chapter is really starting to stir my emotions for poor Lucy 😭. I always knew it was gonna be hard to read her seeing Tommy doting on his daughter with Lizzie by his side. I just wish there was something Tommy could do to show her that she's stil his number one girl. But I still understand how his time has now been split between Lucy and Charlie and Lizzie and Ruby. But I have hope that things will get easier for this blended family as Ruby grows up ❤️.
What a fantastic chapter to finish of this part of your story! Off to next part 😍.
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Part 21: The Shadow of the Abattoir
Fandom: Peaky Blinders
Pairing: Tommy Shelby x OC
Summary: Tommy's ambitions take them to new heights, but not without consequences looming on the horizon.
Word Count: 4,005
Notes: I originally considered including some more detailed aspects--even potentially a full chapter--detailing Lizzie's pregnancy and Ruby's birth, but I have tokophobia, and just wasn't comfortable going into that much detail regarding that topic. So apologies to anyone who wanted to see more of that. And I promise that the Lizzie drama is only just beginning, and will be a big part of the next couple parts, so please consider checking those out once they're posted if you're interested in seeing a continuation of that aspect of the story.
Also, I just want to give a huge thank you to everyone who has read this story. This is to date the biggest single fic I have ever written, and the support you have given me means so much. I promise to have more featuring Tommy and Lucy out very soon!
Warnings for depictions of insecurity, sexual content, PTSD, and references to torture and pregnancy. Bit of a bittersweet ending here, so sorry about that!
Previous Chapter • Series • Fic • Next Part
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Chapter 29: Shake Hands with the Devil
Returning to work had been the right idea.
Already, Lucy was starting to feel better, work helping to drive the dark thoughts that had been plaguing her lately to the back of her mind. They were still there, but they weren’t nearly as loud as they once were. 
Tommy’s new plan required a good amount of logistics and organizing, both of which she was eager to take on. And another action, one somewhat less desirable, but just as necessary. 
She was surprised at just how easy it was to get Jessie to give up the name of the leader of the cell. All it took was a kiss from Tommy and a declaration that he wanted to help her cause to have information already spilling from her lips. 
But then again, Tommy always seemed to have that effect on women. And Jessie, despite how she may have presented herself, was desperate for connection.
“You alright?” Tommy asked, after Jessie had left the office with the promise that they’d meet up later.
“I feel a little bad for what we’re doing to her,” Lucy sighed, leaning back into him while his hands rested on her upper arms, chin settling on the top of her head.
“If you really don’t want to go through with it, we can figure something else out–”
“No, it’s fine.” She turned around in his arms to face him, resting her head on his chest, leaning into the warmth of his body. 
It was a shitty thing, what they were doing to Jessie. But fucking her was necessary to ensure her loyalty until the election was done. And to maintain the steady stream of information she could provide them about the communists–at least, that’s what Lucy was going to keep telling herself in order to be able to sleep at night. 
“Just…” she worried on her bottom lip, feeling Tommy’s hand settle protectively on the back of her head. “Promise me that you won’t come in her.” She didn’t need to specify as to why, feeling him tense a little against her of the reminder of Lizzie and her approaching due date. 
“I promise.”
She cleared her throat awkwardly. “We really should talk about what you want to do about Lizzie.”
“What do you mean?”
She hesitated, unsure as to how she could properly broach the subject to him, feeling a tear begin to cleave its way through her heart in response to what she was about to suggest. Even as she forced the words to come out. 
“You should marry her.”
Tommy jerked back, staring at her with a furrowed brow, frown pulling his lips downwards. “What?”
“You can’t be unmarried with an illegitimate child if you want to move into politics, Tommy.” Knowing him, winning the position of MP was just the beginning. He had big things ahead of him. “You have to project the right kind of image. And if you want to be able to be involved in any sort of significant way with the baby…”
“But I love you,” he said softly. “If I’m going to marry anyone–”
“It needs to be the mother of your child,” Lucy finished for him stubbornly. He shot her a wounded look. 
“I don’t want to marry her.”
We don’t always get what we want, she thought, but bit her tongue. If things had been different, maybe it could have been her that he would marry. But they weren’t. 
“And besides, what about you?” he pressed.
“I think that I’m a small price to pay for the betterment of your child’s life and your career.”
The hurt in his eyes deepened. “Well I don’t!”
“Tommy…”
“We’re not talking about this,” his jaw twitched unhappily as he shook his head, turning towards his desk.
“Sweetheart, please…”
“I’m not giving you up.” That stubborn sharpness entered his eyes, jaw setting, and she knew that she would get nowhere with him on the subject. At least not yet. He’d have to see with his own eyes that she was right before he budged on it. 
She sighed. The last thing that she wanted to do at the moment was fight with him. “Alright.”
They did not speak of the matter again. Though it lingered in the air between them like a ghost. 
∗ ∗ ∗
They laid side by side in the narrow bed, Tommy in the middle with Lucy on one side of him, Jessie on the other. He was thumbing at his brow with one hand, staring up at the ceiling while Jessie slipped out from under the sheets to go get dressed. Lucy watched her lazily, shifting to tuck herself more closely into Tommy’s side. His arm dropped to wrap around her shoulders, fingers tracing over her back. She shifted nearer to him, suddenly needing the closeness.
“You okay?” Tommy whispered to her in the dark. When she didn’t respond right away, his voice grew a little strained with worry. “Lucy?”
“‘M okay,” she said, nestling her head more firmly on his chest, eyes still watching Jessie carefully. They could not talk while she was in the room with them. At least not really. 
She ached pleasantly between her legs from having him buried inside her but only a few moments ago. And while the pleasure from the orgasm he’d given her was still rushing through her veins, she was coming down from it rapidly, crashing back to earth in an unpleasant plunge. 
It would appear that Lizzie’s pregnancy had more or less killed a lot of the enjoyment that threesomes once held for her. She’d felt an unfamiliar surge of anxiety as they’d taken Jessie to bed, the kind that sex normally helped to dull. But this time the tumultuous, overwhelming feelings only seemed to grow as she watched Tommy fuck their new lover. Even though he’d kept his promise and not emptied himself inside of Jessie, the threat of yet another unintended accident from their liaison had set her so on edge that she found it almost impossible to fully lose herself even in Tommy’s familiar kisses and touches.
She was pretty sure that he was able to sense her nervousness, but whether he was able to guess the actual reason, or thought that she was just anxious because this was the first threesome they’d had since what had happened with Luca, she wasn’t sure. Either way, despite Jessie being the primary focus of the evening, he was being notably attentive towards her, eyes constantly darting over to check on her throughout, warm mouth seeking out her skin in attempts to pull her out of her own head. 
He was looking at her that same way now, a slight crease forming between his brows. Lucy offered him a weak smile that only caused the look of concern to deepen, his other arm joining the first in wrapping around her so that he was hugging her tightly. Lucy squeezed him back, closing her eyes and burying her face in his chest. As if by doing so she could somehow hide away from the entire world. 
∗ ∗ ∗
Tommy left his meeting with Arthur Bigge in high spirits. It had taken some convincing, but all his conditions had been met. Everything was going according to plan. 
Well, not everything. Lucy was still worrying him. She was doing considerably better than she had been during their holiday, but she still wasn’t wholly herself. 
She used to smile and laugh so easily. Even at the absolute worst of his jokes, or with the smallest little bit of teasing, and he could have her giggling, trying to shield it behind one of her hands even as her mossy green eyes lit up, entire face crinkling with mirth.
But nowadays, a melancholic aura had draped over her, seeming to cling to her skin, casting a film of sorrow over her eyes. Of course Tommy did not expect her to go back to the way that things were before Luca. But it killed him to see her so despondent and broken. 
He missed hearing her laugh. 
What he would give to make it all better for her. To pull the sadness out of her eyes. Take it into himself, if he had to. Just so long as she didn’t have to carry it anymore. 
She was still having nightmares and the occasional panic attack, as was to be expected. He had been worried originally that all the work that came along with preparing for the election would cause her too much stress. Especially with how fragile she still was. But if anything the work seemed to help, so he let her be. 
But her comments about how he should marry Lizzie had struck a nerve in him, planting a seed of dread in his chest. He had always assumed if he were to ever marry again after Grace, it would be to Lucy. No one else. Especially not Lizzie.              
He had meant what he’d said. He wasn’t letting her go. He’d rather burn his reputation and even the entire bloody company to the ground before he even considered something like that. But his Lucy seemed incapable of understanding that, and he was beginning to grow more and more worried that no matter how much he tried to reassure her, she was doubting her place at his side.
When he first brought up the idea of running for MP, she had asked him what was to become of her position as his assistant after he took office. The question had taken him aback. It had seemed so obvious to him that she would come with him. He’d hardly given it any real thought. Wherever he went, so did she. That was how things had always been, and he had no intention of changing them. Her worries seemed only somewhat abated when he smiled and coyly told her that MPs still needed assistants. It wasn’t long before she was fretting over the possibility of rumors spreading regarding their relationship and tarnishing his reputation. 
As if his reputation was not already drenched in blood and mud. 
He’d just grinned and kissed her temple, trying to appear relaxed and unbothered by any of it. Hoping that if he did, it would help to soothe her. 
“Most politicians are sleeping with their secretaries, love. We won’t exactly be unique in that regard,” he’d told her. It seemed to have calmed her concerns enough. At least for the moment. 
Adjusting the grip on his briefcase, he pushed out of the door and stepped into the crisp fresh air. Glancing around, he frowned when he didn’t spot Lucy on the bench where he’d left her before going in for the meeting. Bigge had wanted to meet with just him alone, and while Tommy had been inclined to kick up a fuss about it until he let Lucy accompany him, she’d insisted that he shouldn’t risk irritating Bigge just so she could be in the room while they struck their deal. 
He hadn’t been particularly happy about it, but ultimately he had to admit that she had a point. 
Looking around, a beat of panic tightened in his throat at no sight of her distinctive crimson hair. His heart started to pound hard in his chest. No. No, no, no, no…he’d just left her there for a second, she’d been armed, there were dozens of people around, surely she couldn’t have been just snapped up right off the street…
His head swiveled around, scanning the people passing by him. Maybe he’d just missed her. She was so short, it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibility that he’d just lost her in the crowd of people.
He was just beginning to properly panic when he heard his voice at his elbow. 
“How did it go?”
He whirled, eyes wide, chest still heaving with the startings of his panic attack, to find her standing there none the worse for wear, black coat pulled in tight around her.
Relief hit him like a blast to the face, and it took all his self control not to seize her in his arms and squeeze her tight to him. Instead he just let out a deep breath, shoulders relaxing. His eyes closed as he steadied himself, taking the time to remind himself that she was there and she was fine.
He opened his eyes again to find her still looking up at him, head cocked curiously. “Where were you?” he demanded, tone perhaps a bit sharper than he’d intended. 
“I got bored, so I went for a walk.”
“Oh.”
“Sorry.”
“No, it’s just…you weren’t here and I…” he huffed. “It’s alright. C’mon,” he indicated with his head towards the car that he’d parked on the edge of the curb. He held open the door for her, then slipped in after she’d gotten settled in the passenger seat. Setting his briefcase down and closing the door behind him, he turned to look at her. There was an odd bulge in the front of her coat. His eyes narrowed. The bulge twitched. “What’s that?”
Lucy clutched her coat tighter to her body, blinking up at him innocently. “What’s what?”
“What’s wrong with your coat?”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
Her coat meowed. Tommy raised an eyebrow. Lucy pouted, letting the garment fall open to reveal a tiny little black and orange tortoiseshell kitten hidden underneath, blinking up at him with scrutinizing green eyes. 
“What the bloody hell is that?”
Lucy stroked the little animal’s head. “It’s a kitten, Tommy. Surely you’ve heard of them before.”
He rolled his eyes. “I know what a kitten is, Lucy. What’s it doing tucked in your coat?”
“I heard her crying in the alley behind the bench I was sitting at. And when I went to look, she was soaking wet and shivering all alone in this little box. I couldn’t just leave her there.”
“The fuck are we going to do with a stray kitten, Luce?”
She shrugged. “We can keep her at the house. She could help with the mice problem.”
“We don’t have a mice problem.”
“And now that we have a cat, we never will.”
He eyed the kitten warily, still feeling like she was sharply analyzing him. Her little tail flicked back and forth, paws kneading at Lucy’s thighs. When Lucy scratched at the top of her head, she angled her face up, and batted at her playfully with one soft paw. Lucy giggled. 
Tommy looked up sharply at the sound, biting the inside of his cheek to try to maintain his serious facade even as he felt himself soften at the sight of her smiling down at the cat. 
“And you immediately assumed that I’d be alright with this?” he asked, the amusement obvious in his voice.
“You don’t have much of a choice.” Lucy flashed him a grin before her attention returned to the kitten, who’d curled up into a ball on her lap. Tommy raised an eyebrow, fond smile threatening to break containment as it tugged on the edges of his lips. 
“No?”
Lucy looked up at him, a challenge entering her eyes. “You knocked someone else up.”
He opened his mouth to respond, then closed it. “You know what–that’s fair.”
She snickered, leaning forward to peck his cheek to let him know that there was no real bite to her words. Tugging off one of his gloves, he held his hand out to the cat. She sniffed at his knuckles, whiskers twitching with consideration, and then rubbed her cheek against his hand. 
“She likes you.”
“Mm.” He gave her a few scratches under the chin, begrudgingly admitting to himself that the kitten was pretty fucking cute. And Lucy was right; the least he could do was let her keep the cat. “We’ll have to get her checked out by the vet before we take her home.” 
“Of course. Who knows what she might’ve gotten into living on the streets. Poor baby.”
Tommy let his hand stroke over the kitten’s back. She was so little, he could probably have fit her in one palm when she was all curled up. He felt a slight buzz under his hand as she started purring. He could feel Lucy watching them both fondly. 
“So it went well?”
“Hm?”
“The meeting with Bigge. Did it go alright?”
He smiled at her softly. “Yes; it went alright.” 
Her face lit up, leaning into him. “Good.”
He turned his face to catch her lips with his, kissing her gently in celebration.
Between them, the kitten meowed. 
∗ ∗ ∗
“Don’t you dare.”
Lucy grinned to herself as she approached Tommy’s office, hearing his voice even before she pushed open the heavy wooden door. She was greeted with the sight of the kitten perched on his desk, her little paw batting his box of matches closer and closer to the edge, her head cocked with intrigue. 
Her green eyes peered over at him, holding his gaze, and promptly batted the box onto the floor. Tommy sighed, reaching across to scoop the little monster up and plop her down onto his lap. “You’re gonna be a little troublemaker, aren’t you?” But he was smiling to himself, a dimple appearing in his cheek when the kitten meowed in agreement. 
Lucy smiled as she stepped fully into the office, walking over to set down a fresh stack of papers onto his desk. “Need you to sign these.” She collapsed back into a chair across from him as he plucked up a pen. 
Her hand raised to rest against the side of her face as she watched him. With every passing day, the election drew nearer, and with it, her anxiety grew. 
She’d been keeping an ear to the ground, regarding anything that might hinder him winning. But so far, with all the careful bribing and other methods of rigging that they’d implemented holding strong, it seemed like it would be an easy path to victory.
But there were some rumblings regarding Lizzie and the pregnancy that had started to spread. Lucy was pretty sure that they could keep them suppressed at least until the election was over. But not indefinitely.
It was going to become a problem.
She supposed it was almost funny, in a way. How being unmarried with an illegitimate child was likely to cause more harm to his reputation than being a notorious gangster. 
They needed to address it. Figure out what they were going to do. And the longer that they took, the more damage the whole situation was likely to cause. 
The kitten jumped into her lap, curling up with a soft purr. Lucy let her hand stroke mindlessly through her black and orange fur.   
“Tommy?”
He looked up at her through the glinting lenses of his glasses, eyebrow raised, papers still clutched between his fingers. 
“Yes?”
She’d been reluctant to bring up the subject ever since he so thoroughly shut her down the last time over it. But if she was being truly honest with herself, that wasn’t the only reason why she’d so willingly let it go.
She didn’t want him to marry Lizzie. And she sure as hell did not want to let him go. 
We’ve still got some time. We don’t need to do anything about it yet.
She swallowed hard, feeling like the worst, most selfish scum on the earth, even as she forced a wobbly smile on her face. 
“Never mind.”
∗ ∗ ∗
Time passed at seemingly the speed of light. And before she knew it, she was standing next to Tommy, the rest of the family–except for Lizzie who had to wait outside with the baby–crowded around him. They were all waiting with baited breath as the results of the election were announced over the loudspeaker. Lucy could feel her guts twisting nauseatingly inside her with nerves, heart leaping into her throat. 
It had been an insane handful of months, and they’d all seemingly passed within the blink of an eye. She didn’t even know where all the time had gone. 
Not long before the election took place, Lizzie gave birth to a baby girl, already bestowed the name Ruby by Polly before her arrival into the world.  
And oh, did Tommy love that little girl. 
It was heartwarming to see him fall so deeply in love with her, and every moment spent watching him with her made Lucy’s heart jump. 
But God, did it also hurt.
She kept her melancholy and jealousy over the gorgeous little family he now had with Lizzie tucked down deep and away, where no one would ever find it. Ruby was a sweet baby, and she deserved nothing but good things in life. And Lucy did love her. Enough that she was more than prepared to walk away forever if she had to in order to give that girl a chance at growing up with a proper family around her. 
She knew it made Tommy sad, to not be able to see her all the time. Ruby and Lizzie still lived at the home Tommy had bought for them, and while he visited when he could, he still did not get to see his daughter as often as he would if she lived at Arrow House. 
They still had not had the conversation about what to do regarding that situation long-term. She’d tried to bring up the idea of him and Lizzie getting married again a handful of times, especially after Ruby’s birth, but Tommy still wouldn’t hear of it. 
A part of her was worried that, despite the promising polls, his personal life would hinder his victory. And it would all be her fault. Because she had been selfish and decided to try to hold onto him, even though the selfless thing–the responsible thing–would have been to let him go so he could build a proper personal life to go along with his new ambitions. 
A huge breath of relief left her when his name was announced over the loudspeaker, a wide smile quickly replacing the look of apprehension that had been there a moment prior. She hugged Tommy back tightly in celebration when he engulfed her in his arms, briefly forgetting that she was trying to behave more distantly towards him in public. Like a mere colleague rather than a lover. To try to save his reputation before the rumor mill fully caught wind of their affair and ran with it. 
“I now declare Thomas Shelby to be the new Labor Member of Parliament for the constituency of Birmingham South,” the announcer boomed for all to hear. Not just in the room that they were all crowded in to hear the results, but across the entire bloody country. 
Cheers erupted, everyone in the family swarming around him, all smiles and uninhibited joy. They soon made their way to the doors, out to where Lizzie was waiting with Ruby clutched in her arms. Tommy beamed as he scooped Ruby up, lifting her high above his head, the baby squealing and giggling in delight. Lucy smiled at the display and the baby’s happy coos as her father adjusted her to rest on his hip and carry her with him down the rest of the stairs. But her smile quickly fell when she spotted Lizzie flashing a truly snide smirk at Jessie where she was standing in the crowd. A tendril of trepidation coiled itself around her, wondering if she would be on the receiving end of such a look sooner or later. Lizzie had been behaving decently towards her as of late, but she was not fool enough to expect that to last.
She followed Tommy and Lizzie down the stairs, lingering back to let them both go first, walking side by side with their baby while she trailed behind them; alone. 
And despite their current string of good fortune, of endless possibilities and new doors opening up before them, she found herself struggling to muster up any real hope for the future. 
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memento-morri-writes · 26 days ago
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This is far from my best work, but it's 1:30am, and I needed to get this down before I slept or lost my mind. So here, take a snippet of Rook seeing Zara again for the first time in 3 years.
Trying, and failing, to keep his voice from shaking, [Rook] said “Hello, Captain.” Mouth still open in surprise, [Zara] replied “Well, hello yourself.” The reality of what she was seeing seemed to hit her as she rounded the desk. “Rook, is that really you?” He nodded. “It’s me.” Zara ran towards him, stopping just short of touching him, and said “What did she do to you?” Rook’s heart stuttered and he had to brush his fingers together to confirm Sigmar’s ring was still in place. Could she possibly see through its illusion? But then he remembered what Lanny had said. She knew where you were. His throat clenched and he choked out “Two years.” A wave of grief swept across Zara’s face as she said “I’m so, so sorry.” Rook shook his head vigorously. “It’s not your fault.” Zara ignored him. “It is my fault. I failed you. As your captain, it’s my responsibility to keep you safe, and I failed you.” Rook wanted to say something, to reassure her, but she pushed on. “She sent me letters, told me all the terrible things she was doing to you. I… I let you down.” Those words hit Rook with the force of a dozen cannonballs. Lanny had said that Zara knew Wolf had him, but knowing that Zara had been aware of what Wolf was doing to him… somehow that was more painful than any wound Wolf had ever inflicted. He barely managed to force his next words out around the lump in his throat. “Where were you?” And why didn’t you come? “She said she’d kill you if I came to get you. Or if I hired anyone to get you. You’re standing here because I stopped sailing.” 
(honorary one-time tag for @space-writes bc I remember you enjoyed my other bits about Rook and Zara.)
#morrigan.text#my writing#dnd writing#oc: Rook#oc: Zara#btw when I say that what she said was more painful than any wound wolf inflicted I'm not just talking about her not saving him.#it also just hurts him to know that she was hurting too.#she left him with that woman for two years (to save his life yes. but she left him there all the same) and yet half of his thoughts are#''I'm sorry I hurt you.''#ROOK. MY BELOVED BABY BOY. PLEASE.#STOP APOLOGIZING.#also if anyone needs a cheering up after this please know that their conversation got interrupted by a giant snake showing up and zara#immediately asking Rook ''WHAT DID YOU DO???'' bc she knows her boy.#and he's like ''idk I just woke up like an hour ago'' and then he suddenly remembers that he swore like 3 times (town rules say no to that)#and he just goes ''SHIT'' and Zara fucking clamps her hand over his mouth and says ''take that back!''#and through her hand he says ''how the fuck am I supposed to take that back?'' and she just clamps his mouth harder.#oh. and the time he swore earlier was bc he stepped outside and got spit on by a bull and he was like ''is this normal??''#and someone said ''I've never seen that happen but these animals are part of [big snake almost-god]'s menagerie'' and hands Rook a paper#with all the town rules (there are many). And he goes ''what the fuck?'' and then he gets to the rule that reads ''no swearing'' and he goe#''SHIT!'' and then he realizes what he says and goes ''AAAHHHH.'' and I was cackling.#I was doing this on purpose btw. I knew that this would make the snake mad at me and I did it anyway bc I am a chaos gremlin.#however I did NOT know I would get Rook's only friend from before the party killed by doing this. RIP Jay. I loved you so much.#but yeah. my boy swears like a sailor bc he is one. and it did in fact get people killed. But it was funny to me.#ALSO when she met the party the first thing she said was ''thank you for saving my boy'' and I almost sobbed.#like yeah. he is her boy.#I'm going to explode just thinking about it.#okay if you read all these tags I love you forever and please feel free to yell at my idiot boy in the comments/tags/wherever.#maybe if enough of us join in he'll actually listen. (no he won't)#OH RIGHT. And the party is finally staring to realize how much of a capital L Liar this man is.#because they can literally see him catching himself about to say ''I'm fine'' every time they ask how he's doing
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peachsukii · 5 months ago
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Might be a little radio silent today and tomorrow, but I'll be back soon. Gonna run off a queue & pop in and out. 💜
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deliriumzer0 · 1 year ago
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Figured I'd address this since it's come up, and since I have life experience that educated my decision here.
So first off, this post was made a couple days after Ranboo left the mall. There was never any chance of him being at risk from stalkers or fans camping the area.
By that point, Vinny Vinesauce had already made his vlog talking about making the show, where he walks thru the mall and specifically says where it is.
At the Vidcon panel, ages later, I learned that JK productions & the team (a vague "we") aren't allowed to say what mall it is. And I was not surprised. There are plenty of functional reasons for that, not the least of which is because urban explorers put themselves at risk all the time exploring abandoned malls, and fans coming to this mall could be in very real danger from worn-out electrics, squatters, and its part-time use by police for training exercises.
For legal liability reasons, staff of JK productions (and likely also Ranboo) could NEVER reblog this post or make a post of a similar nature. They'd get in a LOT of trouble for potentially enabling dangerous behavior.
But for the rest of us? We're fine.
Also putting this on tumblr was no mistake. Could it have been a twitter thread? Sure. But on twitter, I'm still a lowly pleb limited to 280 characters. A tweet leading off the thread would likely be very short and sound like I'm only saying where the mall is (since the images, the point of the thread, would be buried behind a click), thus making it sound like I am endorsing a visit. I AM NOT.
The purpose of this post is basically historical trivia. What role has this mall played in the past. I'm the kind of person who finds that sort of history important. And, crucially, I revealed no new information here -- I never went to this mall personally, didn't take any photos there, never went there as a kid, never talked to JK or heard from them where this mall was. This post genuinely didn't take me much work to compile, I did it between meetings during one single workday. I was able to ID the mall based on the tile pattern on the floor because I happened to remember it from the Fleabitten Adventures video, which was new-ish and fairly fresh in my mind. That's the only thing that put me ahead of anyone else here.
THIS POST IS NOT A SUGGESTION OR ENDORSEMENT FOR PEOPLE TO VISIT THE MALL. Please do not. It would be very dangerous.
Also, a note to prev and others: Don't forget that tumblr reblogging expands the reach of a post. More people see it. Reblogging to say "maybe this post is bad" is sometimes counterproductive to your goals. If you're worried about info in a tumblr post being out there, it's probably better to respond with a comment or an ask, not a reblog. (Which one person did when the post was new.)
Gen Loss' shooting location
I'm super into dead/dying malls so I knew what mall it was as soon as I saw the ending of Ep 2, but I didn't wanna post anything about it until after Ranboo had left NY just in case. I'm not about to facilitate any creepy behavior, you know?
So GenLoss was filmed at the now-closed Galleria at White Plains, which -- fun fact! -- is the same mall used for interior mall shots in the movie Eighth Grade (so everyone who enjoys Ranboo/Bo Burnham connections, there's a fun one!). It opened in 1980 and positioned itself as the mall for "normal" people, in contrast to the more upscale Westchester mall nearby. Sadly, that other mall is still alive & kicking, while this one was closed at the end of March 2023. There are apparently redevelopment plans in the works to turn it into mixed-use (retail + residential) space.
I was too curious about what some of the stores used in the shoot used to be, and how much of what I saw in GL was set design and how much was already in place, so I looked up old directories & photos of the mall to see if I could sleuth some of it out. In case anyone else was curious about the set designers' work, or is into retail history, I figured I would share my findings!
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The central elevator area of the mall in GenLoss, and how it appeared in 2019. (Screenshot from the 2019 video linked below)
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Apologies for the multiple different angles on this one, but this is all the same area, first in GenLoss (right after Ranboo starts walking away from the panel where Hetch is appearing), then from the Fleabitten Adventures 2023 video, then from the Raw & Real Retail video from 2019. (Couldn't resist screenshotting the drone ad on that last one, lol)
In the GenLoss screenshot, at the far right edge of the Sears entryway, you can see a bit of the painting left behind, so my guess is the GL set decorators got rid of that artwork for the shoot.
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The screen where Ranboo first speaks to Hetch in ep 3. The empty store behind them was an American Eagle Outfitters at one point, but it was already closed by February 2023. (screeenshot from Fleabitten Adventures 2023 video)
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Here's a before & after of this directory panel. (Screenshot from the Fleabitten Adventures 2023 video)
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The store full of "props". In the original store photo (Google's only photo of this shop), you can see how the existing shelves were repurposed for GL. Also way at the far end of the store there's a black & white photo of someone with a basketball that was left hanging up.
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I had a hard time finding a closer angle of this Victoria's Secret, but in case you were curious, here's one from the Raw & Real Retail video lol.
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Where Ranboo almost left but Hetch stopped them: a Kay Jewelers.
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The streamers are sitting in the following establishments: My Kitchen, Bourbon Street Cafe, Sarku Japan, Dunkin' Donuts, and of course Charley's. The last empty storefront was a Burger King before it emptied out. (Photo from Foursquare, cropped by me)
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The Dental & Foot Care storefront is unchanged except for the seating out in the open area. It was a rounded wooden bench set as of Feb 2023 (screenshot from the Fleabitten Adventures video), but for GL it was the standard metal benches found throughout the mall. Not sure why.
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Going far back enough, this was a Radio Shack. Couldn't find ANY photos of this particular location though, so here's the only photo I could find of what it was in the interim: a dress shop called Gloria's. (Photo from Yelp)
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This one is my favorite part. :) As of February 2023 (screenshots are from the Fleabitten Adventures video), the "Heart of the Facility" is this weirdly sparse artsy furniture store called Home Splash. But before this, what the shop's facade was designed for, was...
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A Charlotte Russe location. Ranboo died in a fucking Charlotte Russe. When I learned this, I could not stop laughing.
More/Sources:
https://www.reddit.com/r/deadmalls/comments/zupwhw/the_galleria_at_white_plains_ny_in_late_afternoon/
A great youtube video from Fleabitten Adventures walking through the whole mall in February 2023
Raw & Real Retail walkthrough video (from 2019)
A shorter walthrough video from HELLOTHISIS4U
Photos from FourSquare
I didn't cover everything I learned here, just the stuff I thought was coolest (and that I had images of), so please feel free to flood my ask box with questions about what certain things used to be!
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bakafurai · 7 months ago
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yeah that's fine I didn't need my heart anyways
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woodsborostabathon · 4 months ago
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pondering the kirsch siblings orb yet again and you really cannot convince me that quinn would not have been moving like depression era bella in new moon from the moment she even FOUND OUT richie was moving to modesto...
#like bc LISTEN.#anyone with eyes can tell richie was clearly her everything 😭#and idt she was super young bc i hc he moved out about 1-2 yrs b4 the events of 5cream#and richie wouldve still been 23-24#but just given how close they were + how spoiled he was at home LMAO idt she wouldve Expected him to leave 'so soon'#read: EVER or at least before the twins graduated hs#so i think that news hit her like the final destination 2 log truck. like that HURT. DEVASTATED her even. esp given the distance bc-#i hc the kirsches as Wisconsin People (source: kinda sorta radio silence but also my besties knowledge of Wisconsin People)#so from wherever the hell wisconsin to CALIFORNIA?!?!?!?! ik quinn was crying screaming throwing up like that was the worst day of her LIFE#up until then at least. like maybe she was onto smth bc nothing GOOD came of him moving there.#but yeah no i think she was absolutely moping about emo as hell feeling like a piece of her was literally missing.#bc and i think this goes wrt both of her brothers but since im kirschcest pilled yk theres an extra element there#quinn is very like family oriented in general and i think she doesnt know how to think of herself/what to do w herself if shes not like.#being their sister. best way i can put it thats not so convoluted but ykwim. like so it just does Not feel natural for her#for them to be apart & SO far away from each other. i think it wouldnt be nearly as big a deal if he moved out but stayed even just in stat#the only bright spot for her wouldve been 1) getting to visit and 2) getting the idea that she could just go out there for college#then yippee!! the whole gang is reunited!#bc obvi ethan is coming with. im ngl i do not even think she would ask or be like 'so i wanna move to cali to be close to richie hbu?'#i think she'd assume like well theyve been together their whole lives? why WOULDNT ethan go along?? 😭#and she's right except he is 100% agreeing bc he'd be with HER#but thats another post and or tag essay#ceci speaks#scream franchise#scream vi#kirsch siblings#richie kirsch#quinn bailey
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gay-fordeath · 3 months ago
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#dont call anyone im safe im fine im just venting. tw for suicide/self harm/kind of intense language. ideally no ones reading this tho#bro i cant keep living like this#i dread waking up every day so much that i dread even falling asleep#i got insomnia medication in my system and my brain is still like nope absolutely not#i cant keep up at my job even when i am rested enough#i get headaches every other day#my instant mental reaction in the face of stress is to hurt myself (i have not)#like fuck. i work for the disability department of an insurance company#i know for a fact that (probably) every contract stipulates we wont cover disabilities as a result of self inflicted injuries#which is supposed to prevent ppl from taking advantage of the system or whatever#and im always like if someone goes to the lengths of actively injuring themselves to the point of disability#in the name of 'getting out of work'#that person is not 'taking advantage of the system' THAT PERSON IS FUCKING MENTALLY ILL#AND I WOULD KNOW BC I AM ONE OF THOSE PPL#do not come for me on some shit about wanting to disable yourself being morally questionable i cant be concerned abt that rn#i gotta focus on the fact that i hate my life so much id rather break my own right hand than continue it#its an improvement from the active suicidal ideation but its still a symptom of the passive ideation#fucking hell. im too self aware so i absolutely feel like im faking it or making shit up so i can be lazy and not work and whatever#but FUCKING CHRIST theres no way. if i had a choice i wouldnt let myself feel like this.#i just got to a point where i can live alone and support myself. i was so happy and so proud of myself. I don't want to lose that#but god every phone call i have to make for work makes me want to hurt myself. every early morning (and there arent many!!! i mostly work#from home!!!) makes me wish i was dead. i have to sleep for hours after work more often than not. i cant really maintain my living space#theres fucking. mold and discoloration and shit on a bunch of my clothes and some of my bags and shit!!#cause i cant fucking keep my room clean and my basement apartment got fucking humid over the summer and so much moisture got trapped#i constantly have dirty dishes getting moldy before i get to them#i just dont have the fucking energy. i want to take better care of my space. i want to be more social. i just want to go to sleep without#fucking dreading waking up. i wanna go a full week without a headache. i want my stress response to be something other than the intense and#overwhelming desire to cut myself. if i start again i dont know if ill be able to stop and i know i wont be able to keep it to my arms/legs/#easily hidden parts of my body. last breakdown i escalated to my face and i know ill pick up from there.#fuck
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lucky-clover-gazette · 6 months ago
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they're not the same, but they are similar in several very funny ways.
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omarwolaeth · 7 months ago
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thinking 'bout how the lads interact with what the bracelets represent, especially in their decks
#marwospeaking#Yuuya is by far hardest to work with on this because he Varies. but that might just be him being opposite to Yuzu so it might count?#anyway Yuuya is a bushfire made by fireworks set off without proper precaution (the improperly set off fireworks being Zarc..#.. being influenced into the position that made the lads through his desire to both destroy and entertain his crowds)#It's small sometimes. but in the right conditions is an unstoppable conflagration#Yuuto literally does not die. In a world where we never truly get the other two (Yuugo and Yuuri) interacting with their host (Yuuya)..#.. outside of duels. he very much does. He is undead in a way the others don't quite match (pre Zarc revival) and it's opposite to..#.. En Bird's life (assuming it counts death too as part of its cycle)#Yuugo uses machine monsters - things that distinctly don't breathe. and in most cases have exhaust pipes billowing fumes#and machines can be warm to the touch at times. which you could feasibly slide against Rin's Windwitches for being Very Cold Ladies#Also he's trapped no matter where he is. Neo Domino has a stronger grip on him as a person than anyone else. and when he might finally..#.. escape that. he's trapped in someone else's body with no canonical recourse. because the story ended on Yuuya's terms and no one elses#Yuuri is hardest to place but I think he's very stationary. Sere's monsters are dancers - constantly moving - and she's very able to#adapt as she goes despite how stupid she can be book-wise. Yuuri is rooted into his role. even when he discards his loyalty his role was..#.. always in Zarc's interest no matter if he knew or not. The Professor's loyalty from him is an add-on to that#... I'd argue Zarc cared more about his pieces than Ray cared about hers also? He made cards for them on the fly so they'd Win#Even in moments where that victory is not in a wholly positive light - Odd-Eyes Raging and Gatlinghoul - but we know he's capable of it..#.. a la allowing Yuuya to debut pendulum monsters on his behalf in order to win against Ishijima#something something this can then apply to the other lads. they never lose except to each other and Ray's girls (at least on screen)#Yuuto survived 3 years of war. even despite Yuugo and Yuuri showing up. so methinks Zarc must've had a role in helping him survive#Like. Zarc's distinctly present for his Lads. Ray's not present for her lasses until one of them speaks through her#Sure it's very possible that's a bracelet thing - they are floodgates at the end of the day - and not a Ray thing. but it also wouldn't..#.. surprise me given Ray is an Akaba. we know they will sacrifice others for a gain later on - Ray's was sacrificing a whole world to make.#.. a safer one for everyone to live in. irrelevant on if they remember it or if they never existed originally. Except Leo Akaba. He does#(with memory reading tech) and it tortures him the whole time. she didn't mean to hurt him but Still#Zarc's distinctly not better than Ray - he's still broken wide open when it comes to his hatred of humanity (but not his human half)#and it resulted in multiple near-deaths the second time around - but I can't say Ray's that much better if it turns out the bracelets..#.. weren't floodgating her ability to help her lasses#Completely unrelated but. I don't like what Arcray represents ngl. makes it seem like Zarc could never move on with the help of his lads#and has to rely on someone who killed him and sent him to purgatory about it in order to heal.
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eosofspades · 2 years ago
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okay so maybe it was just me being ahead of the curve or whatever but like. did anyone else have their ultimate misery / severe depression era during middle school instead of high school?
#mine#mental illness#it is FOUR AM i should NOT BE thinking about this but oh my god#i read something and i just realized that it wasnt just depression i had a full-fucking-blown psychological BREAK when i was 11#and i need to be up in four hours but now im too pissed to sleep like oh my god i had a FULL PSYCHOLOGICAL BREAK and#STILL none of the adults in my life even noticed i was SAD?? FUCKING HELLO??????#anyway rant in the tags but also im genuinely asking did this hit anyone else in middle school/ages 11-13 instead of high school#bc all the stuff i see is about how miserable and mentally ill kids in high school are and im absolutely not discounting that#but like. high school was SO MUCH BETTER for me it was fucking PARADISE compared to how deeply fucking hurting i was#throughout all of middle school. like i would relive all my high school years ten times over before i even ONCE had to feel how i felt#from the ages of 11 - 13. high school was FUN for me and i was still very mentally ill going into 9th grade!!#like. okay you know the adhd principle of executive dysfunction where the idea is that DOING the task is easier than STARTING the task#and the analogy that goes like. imagine you had to struggle for hours climbing up the gravel mountain to get to the construction site#so when you finally get there youre like oh thank fuck time to lay some bricks i could do this all DAY#and the guy who drove up the mountain to the work site is all angry and is like man stop bragging about how EASY laying bricks is for you#man its hard work!!!!! and youre like. not as hard as climbing up the damn gravel mountain dude#and whenever i hear people talking about how high school is the worst. i think of that.#yeah man high school is hard. not as hard as suffering through the crushing misery of being 11 though.
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dykefever · 2 years ago
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interested to hear your perspective on this. what do YOU think makes a fic become popular in the r/s fandom. because there are many many fics and most of them go unnoticed. what do you think makes for a popular fic in general & in the r/s fandom in particular?
hi hello this got a bit long so all under the cut xxx
i’ve been thinking on this question a bit and i feel like this is kind of a tricky question to ask because it IS mainly down to chance !! but i want to make a distinction between viral fics and just generally popular ones because the first is very much down to random chance and a few other factors — these fics tend to be plot heavy + long + high drama and angst. they read more like novels i think? but most fanfiction isn’t like that (i mean i don’t personally write anything like that!!). for me meaningful engagement with my fic didn’t necessarily mean i had accrued heaps of hits but occurred rather when i had a tumblr where i was making friends + posting about my fic and posting snippets etc. and interacting with people in the comments of my fic and on tumblr. i’ve pretty slowly just gained a reader base from that and over time the fics have been read and ppl come back to read my other ones ?? i guess!!
i think it also helps to have someone read over your work just to check for grammar and spelling + plot holes etc. because those things can have people clicking off a fic for sure. also tagging thoroughly and accurately on ao3 is really helpful so people can actually find your fic. in my experience the best thing you can do is write a story you really love + enjoy writing and have fun with because that’s when you write your best and people will see that in the story and writing…. and there’s like hundreds of very similar fics (i’m thinking lie low at lupin’s etc etc) so just… write whatever don’t worry about being original or whatever.
idk i’m curious what other people have to say about this because there’s a trend that i haven’t seen as much in other fandoms for fics to become ‘viral’ through twitter and tik tok (i mean atyd is like the most read fic on ao3 right?? or one of them??) and i think it’s really skewed people’s perception of what is typical engagement with fic (which tends to be small and perhaps builds over time) and what the purpose of posting is all about. writing should be about your own enjoyment and hopefully people get some out of it too. obviously it’s hard Not to want people to read and like and comment on your work but posting with that as the main hope in mind is just gonna be pretty miserable i think!!!!
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holytrickster · 1 year ago
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you know it's bad when kit calls loth arteloth fnfjjd
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pa-pa-plasma · 8 months ago
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why are people always so upset when you say liking Rowling's content & participating in that fandom is a red flag? "i put on TERF clothes & trans people attack (block) me" yeah dude because you're cosplaying as a fucking TERF. who would even want to do that let alone get so mad about it you actually turn into a TERF for real to defend your shitty children's novel that actual good authors said was shit back when it first came out. it got rejected by multiple publishers for a reason bro maybe take the hint & read something else
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ct-hardcase · 8 months ago
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I have my bones to pick with Soule's writing sometimes, but there's always the feeling of the Jedi Order feeling like home and a community that binds its members together when in his work
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qqueenofhades · 9 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/qqueenofhades/743255237060689920/the-thing-that-confuses-me-about-the-dont-vote
The “don’t vote” left’s point is basically that, if Biden gets a second term, it’ll basically signal that “They’ll vote for us as long as we’re not Republicans, why don’t we do some REAL fucked up shit, if we can get away with it?” It takes the power out of the people’s hands and places it firmly in the party’s.
I can’t completely disagree with that, my caveat is that there’s no real alternative system or party in place, because top-down change is ineffective; a third party president has to contend with a two party congress.
Except no. This whole "Biden just wants to do as much fucked up shit as possible while not being a Republican, and if you give him a second term he'll do more fucked up shit deliberately to spite you" mindset is only possible as an interpretation if you a) deliberately and comprehensively ignore everything he has done to date, and b) you approach the situation with the maximum bad faith possible. Not to mention, the ultimate outcome of this Big Important Teaching Biden A Lesson is that Trump gets back into power and makes everything orders of magnitude worse, because he does in fact want to deliberately do evil shit to everyone and says so at every opportunity. There is not some magical happy alternative that springs into existence by not voting. If you choose this as a year to Teach Biden A Lesson, you are enabling Trump. Trump will be much, much worse. If you don't care about that, I still do not care what your Great Ideology is. You are not helping anyone and you are directly and irreversibly hurting everyone.
I made a post a few days ago wherein I mentioned that I want to assess Biden fairly, taking into account both strengths and weaknesses, but the rampant bad-faith, lying, misreading, misrepresentation, and open sabotage of him (especially by the online left; the GOP sometimes only wishes they were as good at turning Biden's voter pool against him) makes it really difficult to do that. My frustration with those people makes me just want to go "BIDEN IS GREAT THE END." I know he is a flawed old man (though by literally every account of a career spent in public service, he really does care about making the world a better place and any remotely good faith reading of his accomplishments thus far can see that). It is also very likely that he goes MORE left in a second term because he won't have to face the electorate again, he has always gone more left when pushed before, and he's not actually the scheming genocidal mastermind that leftist social media paints him as. Shocking, I know.
I know there are things in the world we don't like and don't want and want to stop, and therefore we blame our own president for not making it stop. But I have zero, no, none, absolutely none whatsoever sympathy for this pseudo-populist "WE NEED TO TEACH BIDEN A LESSON BY ELECTING TRUMP AGAIN, I AM VERY MORAL MUCH ACTIVIST" mindset. There's this funny thing about America wherein it is still (for now) a democracy. If Biden wins a second term, he can't run again. I would take literally anything these people said more seriously if they focused on developing their dream progressive successor for 2028 (and also figured out how to get that person elected and in a place to make real change) rather than cynically sabotaging Biden in the most consequential election year, again, of our lifetimes. If you don't like him now, find a way to make his successor a better option. Throwing a toddler tantrum and handing the country back to a senile, deranged, fascist, revenge-riddled, theocratic Trump HELPS. NOBODY. I still don't know how many times I'm going to have to say that, but yeah.
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drowningincaffiene · 1 year ago
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You can't end the year without an almost-divorce of the parents <3
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