#but if anyone is curious and if it’ll make or break wanting to read my mini rant

[helleboretks]

HAH! Got 'Em!!!

Hello hello hello! First fic in a couple months for my newest fandom Lego Monkie Kid! This is a Lee!Nezha, Lers!Wukong, Mei and MK ticklefic, so if it isn't your forte, no need to read!

(This is Nezha, if anyone wants to gaze upon this absolutely beautiful specimen uwu)

Summary: Wukong wanted to test out if their resident Third Lotus Prince was ticklish. Only Buddha knows what kind of chaos arose from it.

“This is purely experimentative, kid.”

“No it isn’t, Monkey King.”

“Yeaaaaah-no, no it isn’t.”

Mk snorted with a roll of his eyes as Wukong took a few strands of fur from his head, gently blowing on them to produce a few feathers.

“C’mon! You can’t say you’re not curious. I know that look in your eye.” He was right, of course, Mk was pretty curious about this idea too. Would Nezha actually be ticklish? Given that he was reincarnated from a plant-a lotus no less-there had to be something his body did and didn’t replicate from the original, right?

“Has he ever even been tickled before?” Mk wonders aloud, sitting down in the seat next to Wukong. The Noodle Shop was pretty empty today save for his friends and, well obviously, the Lotus Prince himself. Mk’s both surprised and relieved that the man actually found time to take a break, and even felt honored that he’d want to spend it here, with them.

Now he’s wondering how long it’ll be until he regrets it.

“Hmm, not from what I can recall? No???” Monkey King squeaked, looking as if he was seriously racking his brain for some kind of memory. “Yeah no, not from what I can remember.”

“If he’s actually ticklish you’re going to kill him.”

“Oh Pfft, nah he won’t die. You can’t die like that! I think.”

Mk was not about to tell Monkey King that you can, in fact, meet death by tickling. Not right now at least.

No one seemed to notice the little cluster of feathers floating closer and closer to the prince, who found himself in a rather engaging conversation with Tang about some history or other that Mk couldn’t parse out. They both waited with bated breath as he shifted his arms to rest comfortably on the counter.

“Welp, I’ve got nothing to lose.” Famous last words, but alright.

And then the feathers shot into Nezha’s armor.

And look-

LOOK-

The sheer volume of the scream Nezha let out as he flew right off the chair-Mk couldn’t help but crack up laughing as Wukong ducked under the table in surprise, trying to stifle his own laughter.

“HAH!! GOT ‘EEEEEEEEEEEM!!!” Mk screamed as Nezha grabbed and tussled at his clothing, shrieks erupting from his throat.

“Lotus boy!? Mk what did you do!?” Mei exclaimed, clearly less intent on helping and more intent on actually knowing what the fuck they had done.

“THERE’S SOMETHING IN MY ARMOR! THEHEHERE’S-OH MY GOHOHOD WHAT THE FU-” You could just hear Wukong’s dry wheeze from under the table as Nezha’s franticness caused him to bump into one of the chairs, practically crumbling onto one of the tables as Tang choked on his noodles with a chortle.

“Are you-Oh my god, Lotus boy’s ticklish!” Mk nodded to Mei’s statement, and honestly, he was pretty surprised by just how much those feathers affected the man. He was laughing up a storm from wherever those feathers were tickling him, Mk couldn’t really see where they were, but he knew they were doing something.

Or he’d probably just never been tickled in his life and the sensation shocked his soul right out of his body.

That’s also a possibility.

“What the hell? Oi, Monkey King, is this your doing?!” Apparently Pigsy had been the first one to catch onto the real culprit, and Mk banged a fist against the table with a snort as Wukong let out an offended gasp from his hiding spot, popping out into the open.

“I will have you know, mister man of the pigs! I didn’t do nothing!” Wukong sassed, shaking his head from side to side, wagging his finger disapprovingly. That, however, masked the fact that he was probably making those feathers move even faster, because Nezha’s laughter went up an octave right after.

“WUKOHOHOHONG!!! I-I’M GOHONNA KIHIHIHILL YOU-” Monkey King gave an especially skeptical look, turning to Mk, who too was laughing hysterically, just not from the result of being tickled himself. “Yakow, I’m not so sure he’s actually going to do it. I mean, look at the guy! Look at him, take a good look!” Monkey King jested, grabbing Mk by the cheeks and directing his attention back to Nezha.

He could see Nezha, half his body on the table, the other half on the floor as he gripped the edges of the wood, laughing up a storm as he practically vibrated like mad. His face was alight in an adorable blush of pink, eyes squeezed shut with a wobbly, wide grin to boot. He really didn’t look anywhere close to being capable of killing Monkey King in the state he was in.

But then he saw Mei hopped off her seat, a damn near devilish look on her face.

He knew Nezha was in for some shit.

“Here! Lemme help you out, buddy!” Mei spoke too cheerfully to be anything but a trap, but with the way the Lotus Prince was too preoccupied trying to get a grip of himself, he realized that fact a little too late, practically squealing as Mei snatched him by the sides, skittering her nails all over.

Wukong laughed as Nezha flew back unintentionally, right into the person who was making it worse. He kicked his legs as Mei struggled to hold him up with a huffing laugh, scrambling to grab her biceps and shake them.

And not for the first time, Mk doesn’t see the stoic Lotus Prince persona that Nezha tries so hard to keep up. He just sees Nezha; a man who seriously needs a break, and a little too ticklish for his own good.

So you can’t entirely blame Mk for wanting to be a prick.

He jumps over the table, letting out a weird as hell war cry before snatching Nezha by the legs. “YOU’RE COMIN’ WITH ME, MY DUDE-”

Nezha shrieked as Mk began to drag him around the floor, Tang really choking on his noodles as Mei howled with laughter, whipping out her phone to record the absolute madness. Nezha was gripping his ribs-which is probably where Wukong’s feathers are- shaking his head manically as he tried to wrench himself from Mk’s grasp.

“MK, NAHAHAHA-” “HEY!! I just cleaned those floors, kid!!!” Wukong slapped his hand on the table repeatedly as Pigsy called out, and Mk defiantly continued to drag this man everywhere he could, still carefully avoiding chairs and table legs as he went.

“WELL I’M USIN’ IT, DADSY, I’M BUSY!!” Mk shouted back as Mei followed behind him, catching it all on video.

“The poor man! Mk no!” Tang laughed, clearly not as against it as Pigsy is, who stared in dumbfounded disbelief as the two kids messed with the Lotus Prince himself. Nezha, meanwhile, was trying to cling onto anything with a solid structure but was doing nothing other than dragging chairs and tables out of place in his hysteria.

“Look at this BOI-” Mei cheered, causing Mk to wheeze as he shook Nezha’s legs from side to side, the man letting out a squeak as Wukong hopped over.

“WAIT, I GOT THIS!!” That was the only warning that any of them had gotten before a whole barrage of feathers descended on the prince, who screamed in shock before that shock quickly dissolved into the most batshit manic laughter Mk had ever bore witness to.

Mei wheezed, the grip on her phone trembling as the man on the ground thrashed damn near violently, and Mk had to hold tighter onto his legs so he wouldn’t get himself a boot to the face.

“I. AM. FEATHER-BUDDHA!!!” Wukong cried, throwing his hands dramatically into the air as Mei got the bright idea to place her phone down, grab Nezha’s arms, and hoist him the rest of the way up.

“FEATHER JESUS-” She cried just as dramatically as the two swung the prince back and forth, laughing themselves silly as Nezha laughed himself into a tizzy.

For a split second, Mk swore he saw macaque walk in, stare, and then slide right back out in one smooth motion and just-wow, what a great cameo.

“MACAHAHAHAQUE, YOU TRAHAITOR-” Oh he saw him, oh shit-

“I do not exist. Good luck.” Wukong wheezed and almost fell off the damn table as Macaque took his seat at the counter, turning away as if he weren’t just called out to.

“GUHUHUYS, QUIT IHIHIHIT!! PLEHEHEHEAAHAHASE-” Nezha pleaded, trying so desperately to wiggle his way out of the situation. Mk took the liberty of being the local gremlin.

“Ohohoho! But my little nezzy-wezzy-” So many wheezes wrung out at once as Nezha shrieked in embarrassment. Mk hoisted him up so that he had a grip of his knees, Mei slowing down the swinging to a stop as Mk jostled him further.

Wukong, sensing that some more shit was going to go down, slowed the feathers to somewhat of a more breathable speed, and Nezha choked on the breath he sucked in. The smile that forced itself onto his face was both down-right adorable, and freakishly foreign to him. That is something that’s going to have to change, then.

“You know, to be the best gremlin out there, all bets are off the table.” Mk dramatically announced. “AND SO!!” Nezha jumped at the loud tone, anticipatory giggles already spilling from his lips.

“What the heck he’s already laughing, awe-AND SO,” Mk repeated with a dramatic pause. “Mei, get his shirt.”

His bestie didn’t need to be told twice, Nezha letting out a shriek as she pulled his shirt up and away from his belly. “LOCAL GREMLINS!! ASSEMBLE!!!” She cried-

Right as Mk blew a raspberry into the center of Nezha’s belly.

There was a loud pop as Nezha exploded into laughter, and a few gasps and awes went around as a pink glow tinged Mk’s peripheral.

He continued to blow raspberry after raspberry with hardly any pause, and he probably would have winced given just how loud and downright evil Nezha’s laughter was, giggles and cackles as he thrashed and squirmed. It was absolutely hilarious.

“HE’S EXPLODING PETALS, MK!!” Mk paused in his raspberry blowing to pinch at the back of his knees, causing a knee-jerk reaction as he grinned at the petals that had shot out into existence, floating to the ground as Nezha snorted.

“God damn, the guy’s got a set of lungs.” Macaque chuckled, placing his hands over his ears with a grin. Mk laughed with a shake of his head, before diving straight back in, this time nibbling with an added sound effect of ‘nom nom nom’.

The petals exploded from him again.

“MK STAHAHAHAHAHAHAP OHMYGOD PLEHEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHASE!!!!” Nezha cried as if his life depended on it, repeated pops that were just too cute to be real filled the room as the distinct smell of lotuses overwhelmed Mk’s nose as he just kept going and going, blow after blow after blow after-

“JESUS CHRIST KID, GIVE THE MAN A BREAK!!” His record broke with a laugh with the way Pigsy had to shout so loud just to be heard over Nezha’s screaming.

It was when Nezha was so weak that all he could do was tremble and laugh, that Wukong removed the feathers and poofed them into hair, when Mei and he finally-gently-placed him on the floor, and Mk had ceased his merciless tickling, that the man gulped down proper breath since the whole ordeal began.

“Ohohoho, that was golden!” Wukong laughed as he answered to Mk’s high five, Macaque snorting at the way Nezha curled up into a tight little ball, lotus petals surrounding and covering him as he lightly tried to fan his face in hopes of ridding the embarrassed and exhausted blush on his cheeks.

“You damn near killed him, you idiots.” Pigsy sighed in exasperation, looking over the mess that had become his shop within a matter of minutes in very heavy disappointment.

“What-” Nezha panted as he sat up, burning with the rest of his gradually dying embarrassment. “What was that!? Wha-what did you do??” Mk tilted his head in amused confusion, as did Mei and Wukong. “C’mon dude, it’s just tickling! It’s not like it can hurt ya!” Mei dismissed.

A silence was Nezha’s response.

Silence soon enveloped the shop.

“You…you do know what that is, right? Nezha?” Wukong asked with a tilt of his head, this one verging on the dangerous territory of ‘this better be a fucking joke or I swear to the Celestials-’

Nezha just stared at them like they’d grown three heads.

“Oh my God he doesn’t know what tickling is-”

“THE POOR BOIO-”

Nezha yelped as Mei latched onto him in a tight embrace, which caused Mk to automatically snort. Oh this was just sad, both the hilarious kind and also the not-hilarious kind.

Staying in one room to protect a map for thousands of years really must do something to ya, huh?

“I’m actually fucking remorseful. I send my regards.” Macaque hummed, before giving a half-assed salute. “See you on the other side, Lotus Prince.” And then he disappeared into the counter’s shadow. Just like the shifty monkey, doing something like that.

“This is gonna go terribly.” Tang interjected, polishing off his third bowl.

“I’m actually thinking of closing the shop for today, I can’t believe this.” Pigsy grumbled, retreating back into the safety of his kitchen.

Nezha, during all of this, seemed to grow even more confused as the multiple comments were shot fired, and he looked at Mk who only gave him a solemn grin, because even he wasn’t about to mess up what would be-

“This will be the greatest day of your life, Lotus Boy!”

The most disastrous day of his life, courtesy of the local menace, Mei.

“Now! First on my list would be some hands on experience-”

Nezha let out a shrill shriek as Mei’s hands immediately dive for his sides.

A shriek that will be just one of way, way, way too many to come.

[willows-writings]

‼️This post is part of a choose your own adventure series and is not meant to be read stand-alone. Click HERE to go to the masterlist and Chapter beginnings‼️

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Continue to kiss him

Chapter 2

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You shrugged off your concerns and melted into the kiss. Josh’s hand trails down your scalp till it rests at the base of your neck and his other hand moves up the grip of your hip. The next time the two of you draw away to breath Josh quickly and almost effortlessly flips the two of you so now it is your back against the bed. You let out a breathy laugh and place both of your hands on the sides of his face before kissing him again. 

His hand that was previously on your hip moves under your (technically his but whatever) shirt and you shiver at the coldness. You run your hands over his shoulders and he breaks the kiss to eagerly sit up and pull his jacket off before tossing it somewhere in the room. His hands are starting to trail towards the waistband of your pants before a noise sounds from outside the room causing the two of you to break apart and look up.

“Fuckkk” Josh whispers and rest his face in the crook of your neck “Something definitely just broke.” You groan as his warm body lifts off of yours and he starts to walk to the door. You can tell all the tension you just spent hard work (kissing) getting rid of has come back.

“Hey,” he turns to your voice “what if… we just stay here tonight? I mean tension in the group is still running high, there’s a good chance everyone else will stay split off or just go to sleep. We could make hot chocolate and popcorn? Watch a movie? I got a few of those horror films you like downloaded on my computer? It’ll be fun!” You know at this point you're rambling but you can see his face softening the more you talk. 

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” He briskly walks over to you so he can plant a dramatic kiss on your forehead. When he looks at you again there’s a huge smile plastered across his face. “I’ll check on everyone else and get the food and you can stay here, pulling up that movie, and just stay looking pretty for me which shouldn’t be too hard cause you always are.” He winks and you roll your eyes. “I’ll be no more than an hour, maybe get some rest, it’ll be a long night.” He says the last part while walking out the door in a sing-songy voice. 

“And you know Chris told me about that snow angels comment from earlier.” He leaned back in the room, his interest peaked. “That will not be happening.”

Josh lets out a laugh as he closes the door behind him.

The door closes behind him and you lay back onto the soft pillows, he’s right, a nap would be nice right about now. You close your eyes and let sleep overtake you.

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End of Chapter 2

You got: Ending #3

Chapter 3: Beginning #3 (coming soon!)

OBaC Masterlist

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So you chose all the freaky options. It’s ok I don’t blame you. If anyone is curious, the snow angels comment Josh would make in this story implies Chris is the one who wants to make snow angels with Ash. Not him, he is happily taken by you and would gladly make them with you instead. This chapter is so freaky I’m sorry 😭 but on par for Josh and his freaky antics.

For anyone confused when this takes place it’s around the time Mike and Jess are walking to the cabin, and before Josh goes with Chris and Ashley. Sam failing to turn the heater on alone was the noise.

[annabethy]

aurora // a 'tis the damn season au

Percy and Annabeth had something real. They fell in love somewhere between bookstore kittens and vintage novels with pages tinted yellow with time, and they were happy. It's rare, finding the type of love they did. It's even more rare making it last. (Chapter 8/8) (26.3k words, complete) Read on AO3

It all comes racing back.

Annabeth opens her mouth to respond, but nothing comes out. Instead, his words repeat in her mind, echoing over and over, cutting deep.

Did you break up because you weren’t ready to be a wife, or because you weren’t ready to be his wife?

The reality is she already knows the answer. But she can’t say it out loud. Not when she’s looking into his eyes, green, curious as ever, but also with a hint of omniscience, like he knows the answer too. It would be too close to admitting she’s the one who tore them apart. She feels an influx of emotions: miserable, guilty, and somewhere deep inside, relief, because he gets it, even if he doesn’t really.

She can’t admit to any of it, so she admits to the next best thing: rage.

“Excuse me?”

Percy says nothing. He doesn’t have the decency to look embarrassed, but then again, he’s not really the one in the wrong. 

They stay silent after that for about ten seconds, but it’s tense, able to be cut through with a knife. The last time she felt like this was the day she last saw him, Percy unable to look her in the eyes. She had known how bad she hurt him, but she still walked away, leaving him stuck there cursing her name.

 It feels like it lasts a lot longer than it does.

“You left to get something better,” Percy says. “It seems to me like you found it, yet here you are in front of me. You can’t expect me not to question—”

“I can, actually.” Annabeth’s eyes are burned to his. “And I do. You have no right.”

He takes a deep breath, and he’s looking anywhere but her. She can see the gears turning in his head, juggling his words before he says them, not that it’ll matter. Annabeth’s lost, and there are a lot of things she doesn’t know, but what she does know is that no matter what he says, it’ll be the wrong thing. 

She’ll say anything to avoid admitting she was wrong. 

“I’m not trying to start a fight,” he tries, rubbing his palm over his face. “I just…what are we doing?”

“I got locked out. That’s it.”

“We both know it’s not.”

“Percy, please.”

Annabeth doesn’t know what she’s pleading for. She doesn’t know what they’re doing here. She had a life and things were good until they weren’t.

“I don’t get it,” Percy says, and she can hear him forcing patience into his voice. He was always better at this kind of thing, always giving her two minutes more than he should. “You could’ve called anyone, and yet you called me. I’m not mad or annoyed or anything, but I don’t get it. Why are you here?”

“I came to see my family.”

The pained look he gives her hurts more than anything. What is she doing? What is she doing?

“I’m trying so hard, Annabeth, but you’ve got to give me something to work with. Are you being serious when you say there’s nothing going on, or did you just miss home, or are you running…”

She’s running, but she’s not sure why.

Is she running away from Connor? From the life she was so close to having but didn’t want because there was always the whisper of a name from six years ago in the back of her mind? Reminding her that as great as Connor was, he was never enough because he had everything except one tiny thing.

(That tiny thing is that he wasn’t Percy).

Maybe she wasn’t running from anything after all. Maybe she was running to something. 

(To someone).

It turns out that years and thousands of miles doesn’t erase feelings like what they had. It might dull it a little bit, but returning home, returning to that person unveils what once was, leaving you wondering how you’d missed it all those years in the first place. She should’ve known better than to think she could come back here, like she wouldn’t fall right back into Percy’s arms, finding comfort in his lips against her own, or against her neck, his laugh low in her ear. All those Christmas movie cliches should’ve clued her in.

She can never admit any of it, though, because she has to go back, and Percy has to stay. None of it matters.

“What do you want from me, Percy?”

“I want you to talk to me.”

“There’s nothing to talk about?”

“Yes, there is!” He places his palms on the dark wooden table, rocking back and forth. “You’ve been gone six years and the second that the idea of something new pops up, you come running back. You call me. Why?”

“Would you have liked me to call someone else?”

“Jesus…no, Annabeth. That’s not what I’m saying. I’m asking you what you want.”

“What do you want?” Annabeth says it bitingly, an attempt to scare him off. To get him to back down before she admits something that it seems he knows anyway. 

“I want you.”

There he goes.

Annabeth can’t help it when she starts to cry. It doesn’t matter who wants who because her life is in California, far far away from New York. She loves him, wonders what life would be like if she had taken the other road, or if he had followed her down the first one. She wants him too, but how? There is no fixing the mess she created.

“I’ll ask again. Why are you here?”

Annabeth doesn’t know, so she does the only thing she knows how. She fights. 

“It’s none of your fucking business!”

“It is! You come here, you let me kiss you, and you tell me it means nothing? I’m not an idiot, so please stop treating me like one!”

Annabeth sucks her teeth with a shaky breath. “It did. It meant nothing.”

Percy looks at her, disappointment evident in his eyes. She knows she shouldn’t, but she can’t help but focus on how attractive he looks right now in the dark of the bookstore. He’s frustrated, kind, beautiful, and she wants to run into his arms and apologize, but that was never her strong suit.

She hates that it’s come to this. She hates that because of her, she’d lost him. She hates that he isn’t hers anymore, that he’s been with other people, that above everything she’s forced him through, he’s here trying to fix what she’s broken. 

He laughs in her face. “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?”

She is trying to convince herself, so she doesn’t say anything at all.

“Answer me.”

“I have a life, Percy!” The tears come faster, and she stares to her left as though she’s going to find the figure of her old self back in high school, playing with a stray cat between the shelves with Percy working somewhere else in the store, both of them blissfully unaware of the things to come. “I have a life. It doesn’t matter why I’m here, or if…if I’m running, or whatever else you think I’m doing. This isn’t my home, and I have to go back in two days.”

“I’m not asking you to give any of that up!” 

“Then what are you saying?”

“I’m saying you can have me!”

The world comes to a halt.

“I wish I could read your mind,” he tells her, rushed, “but I can’t. All I know is that you’ve been fine for six years, and then Connor proposed, and you were on my doorstep kissing me as though nothing changed.”

“Stop!” Annabeth wipes furiously at her eyes. “It doesn’t matter!”

“It does matter because I’m right here, and you’re pushing me away!”

“Why are you making it so difficult for me to walk away?” It comes out wobbly, pleading. “You don’t think I know the heart I’m breaking is my own?”

Annabeth has always known Percy well. She’s always been able to predict his actions and his words, to know what he’s thinking before even he knows. It was for that reason that it was never easy for him to surprise her back when they were together. She’d always prided herself on finding someone so perfect, a twin flame, but now, things are different.

For the first time, he surprises her.

“Your own?” His words send chills down her spine. “Are you fucking kidding me? Your own?”

“Percy–”

“I know you think that the world revolves around you, but it doesn’t! Believe it or not, there are other people around you who feel the consequences of your actions! You are not perfect! You hurt other people! You are selfish and stubborn and can’t admit when you’re wrong! You run from everyone who actually cares about you!”

Annabeth sobs. “Stop it!”

“You are not the only person here, Annabeth! God, how do you think I felt when you left? Did you ever once stop to think about me?”

There’s nothing for her to say.

“You are not the only person who got hurt here. Did you know I’ve spent six years wishing you’d come home so I could scream at you? You hurt me. I’ve been stuck here in this…this limbo, somewhere nothing ever happens except the same high school drama from people who were never given the opportunity to grow up. I’d wished you would come back, or that I hadn’t stayed in the first place, but you came back, I tried so hard to be mad. I told myself I would never forgive you, but then I saw you in my bookstore petting the stupid cat and everything changed because I knew that even if I was hurt, you were too. I love you and I can’t be mad at you no matter how much I should be, and I cannot let you leave without saying what I should’ve said the first time.”

Annabeth squeezes her eyes shut. When they open again, Percy’s gaze is softer, but his hands stay placed on the counter. She thinks it’s because if he moves, it’ll be to take her in his arms, and even he knows better than to do that. So instead, he watches her with soft, understanding eyes because he loves her and he knows why she’s back, even if she can’t admit it to herself.

“In a few days, you are going back to California,” he says. “But right now, you’ve here with me.”

“Right now won’t last forever.”

“You’re right,” he says. “Not unless you let it.”

Annabeth is seven years old again, and she knows nothing about the world. There had been times in her life where she thought she figured things out, but then she really grew up and she was back to seven years old.

“You need to go back to California, but this isn’t the same as six years ago.” Percy looks around the bookstore. “There’s nothing for me here anymore. This place…it doesn’t make me happy in the way it used to, but you do.”

Her heart pounds in her chest. “What are you saying?”

“I’m saying I love you.” Percy lifts his hand, and his fingers twitch. “Now I’m asking you to let me.”

Annabeth knows nothing about the world. Maybe that’s okay.

She doesn’t think that coming home for the holidays is supposed to hurt this much. She shouldn’t ache the way she does, and she shouldn’t take the step towards Percy that she does, just like Percy shouldn’t be so fast to open himself to her, pulling her in, letting her dig her face into his neck, ignoring the tears that dampen his skin. 

Nothing is as it should be, and for once, she’s thankful. She breathes him in, wonders if he can feel her pulse over the sobs she lets out into her chest.

“I’m sorry,” she chokes out, but he only holds her tighter. “I’m so sorry.”

“I know,” he breathes, lips pressed to the top of her head. She thinks he’s crying too. “It’s okay. I’m right here. I’m not going to lose you again. I can’t.”

And so it goes unsaid what’s going to happen after this. 

Annabeth is going to leave because East Aurora, New York was never really her home. She’s going to follow the first path she took, but this time, she’s going to uncover what lies behind the road not taken. 

She lifts her head, and the next thing she knows, his lips are pressed to hers. It’s not enough��it’s never enough when it comes to them–but that’s okay, because they have time. The kiss is salty, either her tears or his, but she leans into it. He grabs her face, surrounds her, forgives her. 

“I know you can’t stay,” he breathes into her. “Let me go with you.”

Annabeth can see how this is going to end.

It’ll be an adjustment. It’ll take a while, but in a few months, she’ll be in California again. He’ll be by her side. She’ll have to reconstruct her life, reconcile with old friends if they’ll have her. They might not, because she hurt their friend when she chose Percy (even if she didn’t know that’s what she was doing at the time). It doesn’t matter because he’ll be with her every step. They get a do-over, a chance to travel an old dusty road, to live the way she thought was gone forever. There is a lot to fix and a lot to figure out, but she knows that more than anything, she has him. 

For the first time in six years, everything is okay.

[rainfallnightmare]

Chapter 1

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Cursed Moon and Sun x Y/n Curse AU

Warning: Gaslighting

Word count: 1223

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May 8

Y/N POV:

It was one rainy day. Music was playing, the area was quiet and I was enjoying my book since today was a peaceful day…So I thought. As I turn the page of my book to start reading the next part. My cell phone started to ring as I let out a sigh and put my marker in the spot before I closed the book. "Who is calling me now at this time" Placing the book down next to me as I picked up the phone to see who the caller was this time.

It was Lucas

"This better be a good reason why you're calling me" I said to myself before I pressed the answer button. "About time you answered, I thought you died or something" Lucas said in his usual sarcastic tone when he talks to anyone. "What do you want Lucas, this isn't the usual time you call?" Lucas was one of my friends that is the one that found us places to go treasure hunting when we have free time.

"I have some good news" Lucas said as he was excited about something. "What would that be?" As much as I hate being the curious type. Lucas and the others always find a way to peak my interest unless it's something I was really against. "I found a mansion that is abandoned" I was surprised when I heard about this from him. "How can you be so sure that this mansion that you're talking about is completely abandoned?" As much as it would be cool to see a mansion in person.

I was very skeptical to know that a mansion was abandoned. Not that I don't believe it but I had a feeling hearing this from him wasn't gonna be good.

“When have I ever lied to you or the others?” Lucas said and my eyes twitched for a moment. I could recall a number of times but I wasn't gonna say them. “Okay then, what does it have to do with me?” I have a feeling why he called but I wanted to hear it from him since he was the one who called me.

“The others and I want you to join us on this treasure hunt”

I knew it, I had a feeling that he was thinking of dragging me along with everyone to go treasure hunting. I wanted a break cause we were doing some treasure hunting for the past week and I wanted some alone time. “Don’t you think a break would be nice, we've been treasure hunting for a week now” I said honestly to him since Lucas tends to not listen unless you’re being blunt with him.

“Oh do I hear a scaredy cat among us” Lucas snickered as he continued to try and convince me. “Don’t be like that Y/n, everyone is gonna be there and it’ll be a shame that you skipped out on us cause you wanted a break” This bastard and his gaslight are so annoying. I really didn’t want to go but if it would make him stop annoying me and leave me alone, then I’ll do it.

“Fine, but this is the last one and I’m doing doing treasure hunting for awhile”

Hearing a yes sound on the other side of the phone. I sighed in regret knowing it was going to be a long night. When he told me who was coming to get me. I ended the call and went to get dressed since we were going to the abandoned mansion tonight even tho it was raining. “I hope today will be a quick one quick one” When I got dressed and ready for today's treasure hunt.

I heard a knock on my front door. Going over to see who it was, I knew it was my ride. “Are you ready to go Y/n?” Tracy asked and I nodded my head since today I was gonna make it my last night doing treasure hunting for a while. As Tracy drives up to the location where everyone was waiting for us. I took a good look at the building that was supposed to be abandoned and saw that it was clearly in a slight rough condition.

“Everyone, look who showed up” Lucas announced as he pointed in my direction. I rolled my eyes as Lucas just smirked in victory before he headed towards the building and locked picks at the door. “Are you sure this is a good idea!” I shouted at Lucas who was struggling a little to get the door to unlock itself with his lockpick tools.

“You worry too much scaredy cat!” Lucas shouted back as he managed to unlock the doors. Soon everyone went in quickly to get out of the rain. Once inside, Lucas tells everyone that they can start looking as he takes off in excitement.

Everyone soon split off to search the whole mansion as I just simply walked around to see what the place had stored. When I walked up the set of stairs to the second floor. I could hear the wind kicking up and rattle the windows as the rain picked up even heavier. Just when I was about to open one of the room doors. I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder that caused me to yelp in surprise. “It’s just me Y/n” It was Tracy as she looked a bit spooked. “What’s the matter?” I asked and Tracy placed something in my hand in a hurry before leaving. Confused on what was all that was about, I looked at my hand to see a necklace was placed in my hand.

Carefully examining the necklace that was given to me. I held the center of the necklace to a light to see that the jewelry had a multi color stone in the middle. It had A sun embroidery on one side of the stone and A moon on the other side. It was a celestial necklace that must have been made for a very wealthy person. “It’s beautiful, I wonder why Tracy gave it to me?” With so many questions in my head. I shook it off and decided to put the necklace on as it was cool around my neck but I didn’t want to risk losing it.

As the first step I took towards the hallway happened. I was suddenly covered in darkness as everything just started to disappear. “W-what the?!” I did know what was going on or why it was all dark of a sudden. Soon as I turned around, I saw a white figure in the distance pointing at me.

“How unfortunate, looks like I have a new victim to play with” The figure said in a womanly tone as my eyes widened in both shock and horror. “Why me!’ I didn’t understand what this figure wanted from me but I can tell it was not a good sign. Without saying a word, dark figures started to form around and growled in my direction. “Fetch me their soul” The figure command and all the shadow figures started to rush towards me as I covered myself for the impact.

“Not on our watch”

That was the first and last thing I heard before the darkness took over and I blacked out.

[theproperweirdo]

Oop I did not expect literally anyone else to read that so sorry if it came off that I was just bashing the Arena story. Apparently the wiki I’ve been using to gather most of my info from is more or less unreliable (if anyone has any recommendations where I can watch a play-through please please please I do not have the time to play arena myself but I crave lore).

That said considering the new information I’ve been given it seems fair to revise why the lore in Journey was so janked up. Which does bring me to my next question which I’ll explain more once I’ve recompiled but I stg google is 0 help for finding any Arena information ;-;

A. How often are new characters introduced to Arena?

And

B. (These are open to anyone who plays Arena cus I’m super curious) How do you feel about power creep when it comes to new characters?

B part 2. Do you think Arena is F2P friendly or mostly appeals to whales exclusively?

(It’ll make sense later just bare with me I’m on break rn lol)

Because there’s something a tad bit fishy I noticed in Journey that could be one of the reasons for the Great Lore Schism™

P.S. I may not know Arena lore but if you ever are in need of up to date Journey lore I am at your service o7

No need to apologize! It’s actually pretty hard to gather all the info and lore in arena, because it’s all fragmented into item descriptions, character stories, events, etc. The wiki is sparse so I just tried to sift thru everything plus the art books on my own

I have these old slides I haven’t finished, but if ur interested I can finally finish them and put them up online. It’s the timeline of Esperia from its beginning to now in game.

A. They release a new character about once a month? More frequently than that, maybe. It’s pretty fucking insane actually 💀💀

B. The power creep is usually HORID 😭😭 I’m like a mid tier player, but I’m in a competitive guild so I still need to keep up. The players I go up against are always insanely strong 💀

B2. F2P friendly enough to enjoy periodically, but if you aim to get anywhere in game it’s definitely P2W 😢 not cheap either, I’m a sardine but my guild mates always have the awakened a maxed out a little after release and i don’t know how they aren’t broke

Wanted to say thanks for the “asks” (are they asks?? Idk) they’re very enjoyable to respond to :3c

[utterlyinevitable]

Where It Begins (28/?)

↪ series masterlist  

28. Boiler, boiler (cake & troubles)

Pairing: Colin Bridgerton x Penelope Featherington   Format: textfic   Chapter Rating: T+ A/N: why didn't anyone tell me the longer images were hard to read?? to remedy that i'm doing plain text. hope you don't mind :)

Summary: Domestic interlude & a valentines day mix up

8th February

Colin: I’ve got five days free. Fancy a friend?

Pen: Don’t think you’ll wanna stay here

Colin: Too bad. I’m already on my way. What’s wrong?

Pen: Boilers broken. Haven’t had heat or a hot shower in three days.

Colin: Seriously!? Have you spoken to the building manager??

Pen: I’ve showered at the gym at work so I’m not stinky. BM is waiting for the landlord to approve works to be carried out

Colin: He could be off on a remote holiday for all we know! Gotta be breaking some sort of code at this rate.

Pen: It’ll get sorted. You can stay here just know I don’t have hot water. In most cases that’s a dealbreaker.

Colin: Sure it will.

Pen: Don’t do anything rash and get me evicted.

Colin: I would never. See you tomorrow afternoon 😘

-

He placed his keys ever so gingerly on the designated house-shaped plate by the door and toed off his trainers, careful not to make excessive noise. All the lights in the apartment turned out for the night save for the kitchen lamp always serving as a nightlight. It's well past midnight, Colin can't blame her for not waiting up - he is half a day late after all.

He strips down to his boxers and climbs into bed behind her, arm wrapping around her belly and cuddling in close like always, naturally. Penelope smells fresh and clean, but there's a lingering of the rare and expensive gardenia perfume he likes so much in her hair. He takes a deep breath, savoring.

"Sorry," he mutters next to her ear. "One delay led to another."

Pen hummed, still held by sleep but rolling from her belly and further into him.

"Did the plumber come?"

"Yea. How much do I owe you?" She cranes her neck, turning to look up over her shoulder with those beautifully heavy eyes of hers.

"Nothing," he says as he pushes some of her wild hair out of her face. An overwhelming urge to kiss her senseless overcomes him, but he settles for a lingering kiss to her forehead.

"Colin…"

"Think of it as rent for all my freeloading."

She’s too tired to argue, so she huffs and nuzzles back into her pillow.

Colin had the most peaceful sleep he’s had in weeks, cold room and hassling from his older brothers be damned.

***

13th February 9:13

Pen: Running a few errands, didn't want to wake you. Breakfast in a bag on the counter xx

11:18

Colin: Thank you ❤️

12:04

Colin: Heading out for a bit - when will you be home?

14:46

Pen: On my way back now!

-

Colin padded to the kitchen to find a brown box of delectable danishes waiting for him and a yellow post-it on top in her quick scrawl;

All yours! Just save me an eclair :)

He smiles at how well she knows him, and how she knows he'd always save her the last (and only in this case) eclair. That smile tugging at his cheeks as Colin grabs his French press and boils the water, beginning to make himself a cuppa. When he opens the fridge to reach for the milk, there's a pink box a great deal larger than the pastry box taking up the middle shelf. Nothing if not endlessly curious, Colin carefully slides the box out from where it's been skillfully wedged into the small appliance and peeks in. His heart stops and so do his breaths. There's a red heart-shaped cake staring back at him.

His blood runs hotter than the boiling bubbles behind him, that smile wanes until it's practically linear on his pressed lips.

They didn't speak about Valentine's Day, or any of the implications of it. Truthfully the holiday didn't even cross Colin's mind; and he certainly didn't purposefully plan to visit her this weekend. A happy coincidence really. But come to think of it, it is weird that he didn't book up anything anywhere. It's his job to capitalise on holidays and relevant social media-centric events, but he forgot? Doesn't the calendar in his phone automatically add holidays? He'll have to check that. Honestly how is it possible that Colin didn't put the pieces together? It's the most romantic day of the year! And he and Pen are...

Colin can only assume he didn't think they weren't doing anything considering their... roommate (the word makes him want to vomit) status. And because he leaves in the morning.

But the cake! The terrifying, gorgeous gesture of cake is staring him right in the face. That smile returns as a smirk and there's sparkles in his steps causing Colin to flit about on a new course of action. He immediately forgoes coffee, shoves a croissant in his gob and rushes to put clothes on. The boy is on a mission to not bungle this up.

When Colin returns home - lilacs and tulips in hand - Penelope is still nowhere to be found. Disappointing but also lucky, he can truly take this one step further; so Colin sets up some wine glasses on the little dining table, leaves space for the cake to take center stage, and picks a couple petals off the bouquet to tastefully scatter around the table. He’s not sure what she has planned for dinner, so he waits.

Pops on a fresh shirt and cologne, and waits.

Waits for 80 minutes.

Then, she comes home… with Sophie.

The two girls are giggling and Pen has a silk scarf over Sophie’s eyes. “Wait wait wait, you’re gonna LOVE this!” Pen laughs as she tries to tug her keys out of the lock once more than necessary, most definitely tipsy. She doesn’t even see him sitting stiffly on the couch as to not muss up his look, a book in hand.

She pads to the fridge and gasps so loudly. “What the-” Colin watches carefully as Pen starts to twirl around, eyes frantic and head swiveling, looking everywhere in the kitchen to find her surprise.

Finally, her eyes land on the impeccably decorated table.

“Oh my god!”

“What? What is it!?” Sophie all but shrieks from her spot she was left in, her hands hovering over her hair unsure if she should tear the blindfold off or not. 

Colin’s sheepish and besottedly bemused voice finally makes its appearance, “Happy Valentine’s Day.” 

Penelope twirls to see him rising from the couch with an amused smirk on his handsome face hiding the awkwardness he feels. Her blush pink lips are parted and her eyes are so comically wide it'd be hilarious in any other situation but this. She goes to say something, and Colin waits with bated breath. It's the same moment Sophie rips the blindfold off. 

“You GUYS!” she shrieks at the romantic setting before her. Her eyes meet Pen's, her soulful blue eyes blown and dilatated. “I am crashing your evening. I should go.” 

“No no no,” Pen turns from Colin, grabs Sophie’s wrist and tugs her closer to look over the cake. “I got this for you! For our Galentine's day tomorrow.” 

All three of them move across the room to peer at the writing on the cake that so delicately reads: You Fine AF. Sophie giggles, then the two of them burst out laughing. The two girls are consumed by a fit of uncontrollable laugher, falling and hugging one another. 

Colin takes that as his cue to cut the cake, and maybe grab two glasses of water too. 

This could have gone worse...

-

Two cups of tea and one hour later, Sophie skittered off and Colin and Pen have mostly finished clearing up the faux pas. He's washed and dried the dishes with nothing else to do as Pen masterfully fits the baked goods back in the fridge. It's so unbelievably quiet save for the rustling she's doing and the pounding embarrassment in his ears. They can't go on like this.

Colin leans up against the counter, tapping and pressing his fingers into the hard surface to distract himself, to seem so nonchalant about the whole failed affair.

"I apologize for- I thought…"

He can see her shake her head once from where his eyes are glued to the floor. "It’s fine. You didn’t know."

"Do you want... I should have asked if you wanted to do something instead of assuming..."

"It’s fine Colin." It might be his imagination but Colin swear she slammed the fridge shut. "We don’t have that kind of relationship."

"We...don't?"

"We’re friends."

"Friends, yea." But we're more than that, he wants to add. Will wish he had later when he's replaying this evening over and over in his head.

"Neither of us are looking for something serious," she asserts, her flickering gaze pinning him in place.

"Right."

There's an awkward silence as he stares at her, silently imploring for elaboration and she's looking anywhere but at him.

Penelope finds a spot on the ceiling behind him, takes in a breath and Colin has chills, the kind of chills you get before you drop on a rollercoaster or entering a haunted house, the anticipation of a good time but the dread of the unknown. "That’s why this works. You’re off gallivanting, living your dreams. And I’m making a name for myself in my own way."

His heart drops.

"I - yeah. Yeah, you’re right." He forces a smile as his catches a glimpse of the bouquet, the last remanent of his mild attempt at romantics.

"Did you pick up dinner? I’m starved."

[sessakag]

Hi! I just got done reading Butterfly and it’s literally 5:07am😭

It made me tear up reading it. Currently, I don’t like how Naruto is using Hinata but hopefully little by little he’ll stop caring about his main plan and genuinely starts to like her, even as a friend. Slowly letting her in his heart. Opening up to her and her to him. Enjoying her company more than anyone else’s. I kinda see it with how patient he’s trying to be with her, how every little movement and expression she makes, he takes note of it and is curious about her even more. How she’ll make him stop and think and take time to appreciate the stuff around him. Him introducing her to gaming and things she never got to experience.

I’m hoping he’ll invite her to his house to study and she’ll meet Kushina and Minato. See how loving his parents are and Kushina ends up really liking her and they cook together. Minato being kind to her more than her father ever was. Making Hinata open up even more. Show her how family is supposed to be. Her making friends with Naruto’s friends especially Shino and Kiba. Them realizing that Naruto stopped hanging with Hinata just for the sake of his plan. That he genuinely likes her and is an idiot to even realize it yet. How Sakura will take it when she finds him slowly moving on and Kurenai seeing Hinata’s progress.

I’ve been wondering if Sasuke’s ever gonna show up? Are his parents alive? Are they in the police force? Is that how Naruto will find out what happened to Hinata? Will Sasuke and Hinata meet in this? Be friends? Unintentionally make Naruto feel jealous? Will Naruto remember her even if was a fleeting moment? Will he remember her eyes? Her lack of shoes? Giving her a sandwich? Will the continuous attention she gets for hanging with him, make her have another attack? Maybe even worse? Will he realize that Hinata really isn’t okay but is trying her damn best? Will she smile and laugh like she wishes she could? Talk more? Will she share her story with him? Will she find out that he was using her and she’ll think every kindness and gesture he has done for her wasn’t real? I think it’ll break her, make her spiral. There’s so many questions I have.

I’m sorry this’s long. I just really really really enjoyed Butterfly a lot. I see why you have the title as that. Can’t wait to see Hinata grow and heal!

Oh wow! Sorry to keep you up that late 😂 but I'm glad you enjoyed reading Butterfly. It's very dear and very personal to me out of most of my fics ❤️ I love that story and have so many plans for it.

Naruto's actions aren't exactly noble right about now, he's got a lot to learn about the world around him and himself, things Hinata will indeed teach him directly and indirectly, he just needs a little time 😊it's going to be a journey with those two for sure.

Based on your words, I know you'll enjoy the interactions and reactions of the Uzumaki family and Naruto's friends to this new dynamic.

You'll learn more about Sasuke as time goes on, I usually have those two as buddy buddy friends at the jump but I wanted to do something different this time around 😊hopefully his place in the story is interesting for you and everybody reading.

You certainly have quite a few questions and they shall be answered over the course of this trilogy 🥰

I don't mind the length at all, I actually enjoyed reading through this! Thank you for reading and letting me in on your thoughts about it! :D

Butterfly

[moonchild-things]

Chapter Twenty-One: In Order to Avoid Misfortune…

Summary: Being a psychic is not an ideal life, at least for Saiki Kusuo. Didn’t you read/watch The Disastrous Life of Saiki K to know that? Still, this isn’t about him, not really. Instead, let’s focus on his one and only friend, Akari Watanabe, who is also quite abnormal. You might not believe that Saiki would actually have a friend, but that’s what fanfictions are about, right?  

Word Count: 2759

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---

THE CLASS WAS BUZZING WITH CURIOUS AND EXCITEMENT as everyone was talking about the same thing. Like normal, Akari was not invested in knowing what they were gushing over, since she figured it was something stupid and/or uninteresting. Though fate(or the authors) had other plans for her. Apparently there was some sort of new attraction that had come into town. A fortune teller or psychics like that wasn’t interesting to Akari and honestly didn’t wanna hear about it. Why would she when her best friend can do it for real? Sure, Saiki isn’t exactly a fortune-teller but he can see the future to some degree. Either way, Akari doesn’t care about knowing something like the future. What would she do with that knowledge? She doesn’t see an advantage for her with something like knowing her fortune. Sure, knowing what’s unknown can be interesting, but when it’s something like the future, she'd rather not know. Besides, who knows if it’s true or not? Well, Saiki would know, but still.

It seemed like every student had gone to the new fortune-teller. A girl asked Yumehara Chiyo, “Did you go to the fortune-teller, Chiyo?”

“It was great!” She exclaimed, “She said that after my break up, I would find a new boyfriend!”

Outside, her ex was getting asked the same question by his friend, “Takeru, how did it go with the fortune-teller?”

“It was great.” He cheered happily, “She said I would get back together with Chiyo.”

Akari was in her normal place, sitting on Saiki’s desk as they observed the class. She watched her classmates all gossip and gush about the new exciting thing. Though the two of them were nowhere near interested. Saiki blinked, “Well, someone’s fortune is off.”

‘Obviously, the fortune-teller is just telling them what they want to hear.’ Akari rolled her eyes. Going to see a fortune-teller means, in Akari’s opinion, that they were going to lie to the people to come in to make them happy and make money. She couldn’t care less about this “fortune-teller” and who went to see her. People can do what they want and believe what they want. She just wouldn’t go to one for trivial things. So hopefully she could avoid it at all cost. Oh, how naive she is.

Kaido slid over to the pair as he laughed at how childish he found all the gossiping was, “How foolish. Fortune-tellers are just a bunch of frauds pretending to know the future.”

Finding himself agreeing with Kaido, Saiki nodded his head, “We normally don’t have the same opinion.” Honestly, there aren’t any moments in time that he would ever agree with the eighth-grade minded boy. It’s quite surprising.

“Forget that.” Kaido suddenly turned very serious, “I need to talk to you about something important. Come with me. Did you notice something strange in this town?” Obviously, this had something to do with his Jet-Black Wings persona. What exactly it is they aren’t sure, but it’ll be stupid none the less.

Saiki just stared at him, “Now, you are a fraud pretending to know something. Can’t you ask anyone else?”

Akari took it to translate for Saiki, to try and seem a bit nicer. “No thank you Kaido, we can’t today.”

Kadio jumped at the girl’s soft voice. Unsurprisingly not noticing her sitting right in front of him. He embarrassedly scratched the back of his neck, “Ah! Right, okay Watanabe.” The disappointed boy said as he mopped away at the rejection of his friends. It was somewhat sad to Akari to see him mope like that, but it wasn’t like she wanted to go out on his little  

Nendo then came up to them, “Pal! Gal pal! Did you hear about the fortune-speaker?”

“It’s fortune-teller.” Saiki corrected, “I’m already sick of it.”

“We can buy the comic book on Thursday…” Though Saiki nor Akari were paying attention to Nendo as he started to ramble.

Saiki sighed, “That is bad.”

Akari shook her head. ‘Why do I have a feeling that something is going to happen.’ Oh, Akari, your feeling is more than right.

The pair of super-powered teens were walking through the city, just minding their own business. Saiki had wanted to head out for some food, and of course Akari had tagged along. They were most likely gonna head for their favorite cafe and get their regular snacks. After all they do this just about everyday after school. It’s their own little ritual that they rarely diverge from. They may not be the most normal people, or have the most normal lives, but things like these give them the perfect illusion of normalcy. Where they could sit in the same booth at the same cafe, order the same food and enjoy some peace and quiet. Now doesn’t that just sound average and normal! In my opinion, that sounds boring, but to each their own.

Though before they could enjoy their time together, they came upon a large group of people standing on the sidewalk. They were all in line waiting for something, obviously. “Is this where the fortune-teller is?” Saiki said as they stared at the long line. It appeared that the fortune-teller was popular beyond just their school. 

Akari pursed her lips, ‘There’s more people here than I thought.’

Some random girl asked her friend, “How was it, Kiyomi?”

The girl squealed, “Listen! I am fated to be with Kento Yamazaki!”

Saiki shrugged his shoulders slightly, “If they enjoy it, I suppose it is harmless.” That’s true, what harm did this bring them? As long as he and Akari didn’t get dragged into it, then it wasn’t going to affect them. Though the pink-haired teen then noticed an ill-disguised boy in the line as well. Really, a mask and sunglasses is not going to hide who he was. “That is Kaido. What is he doing here?” He heard Kaido’s thoughts about being here just to make sure Dark Reunion wasn’t bothering this fortune-teller or something. “Excuses. The fortune-telling seems suspicious.”

Another girl came running out of the building while exclaiming, “She said I can date Kendo Yamazaki!”

“Kento Yamazaki is cheating on you.”

The fortune-teller then called out, “Next in line, please come in.” Of course, the next person was Kaido. This was going to be a doozy. 

Turning himself invisible Saiki decided to follow him in, “Let me observe this.”

‘I’ve got to see this too.’ Akari allowed herself to turn completely into a shadow that melted onto the ground. She slithered across the ground behind Saiki as they entered the room. She wanted to be able to blend in even more and not be perceived at all. So if anyone really paid attention, they would just see sharp yellow eyes within the inky darkness.

So Kaido walked into the room with his invisible stalkers watching as he was greeted by the fortune-teller. She is an older woman with some heavy make-up, long brown hair and wearing a purple cloak. The atmosphere that she created in this room is certainly on the nose for a fortune-teller. Is it too much? Maybe but no ones gonna think too much about it. Besides, it must add to the mystery about her and her work. 

“Welcome to the house of fortune-telling.” She said to Kaido, “Please sit.”

Kaido even seemed a bit suspicious of it, “Okay.”

Saiki took in their surroundings, “She got the atmosphere right.” Hey, we said that already!

“Nice to meet you.” She said, “I am Clairvoyance Mikiko.”

“That name alone is suspicious.”

“How may I help you?”

Kaido shuffled slightly in his seat, “Well, I’m not here for some advice…”

Saiki read his mind and was nearly impressed, “Looks like he’s not sure about her, too.”

‘So maybe he isn’t as naive as we thought.’ Akari’s haunting voice said hopefully. 

Though that sentamiet was lost when the fortune-teller reeled in Kaido by saying, “What’s this? You have a very different aura from other people.”

Kaido gasped, “What?” She truly was real if she could sense that!

She continued to ham it up, “You’re not normal. Do you have any special skills?”

Both Saiki and Akari sighed, and now she hooked him with her ruse. “It’s over for him. You overreacted. She can tell what you want to hear.”

“You are struggling with a problem, right?” Mikiko asked.

Kaido was in shock that she knew that, “How do you know that?”

Saiki shook his head, “People without problems don’t come here.”

“Let me guess.” Mikiko started to ramble, “Romantic problems are very common, but that is not your problem. Your studies or future is not what you’re worried about either. It’s your friends and relationships…” Kaido gasped out dramatically at her “guess” about his problems. “That’s it! You are having problems with your friends or relationships.”

Kaido appeared to be more than amazed by her. “How could you tell?”

‘He’s as easy to read as a book.’ Akari commented boredly. Yea, she tolerates Kaido and accepts him to be a friend, but she can admit that he’s very stupid.

He then started to go on about his delusions, “That’s right. I have problems. There are things in this world that only I have seen. I learned of this secret organization.”

Mikiko played along with him, “I know how you feel.”

“I’m used to struggling. But at times, I ponder. It’s a lonely path. I don’t have anyone whom I can call a companion.”

Behind all of his delusion and fantasy, the fortune-teller could tell what the issue is, “You are talking a lot, but basically…”

Saiki summed it up, “He can’t make friends.”

“You’re looking for someone who would understand you.” She said wisely, “To do so, you must understand them first.”

Her words surprised both Akari and Saiki who were sure that she would just spout out some spiritual ruse to “help” him. Perhaps she was providing some actual advice.

“That is actually good advice.” Saiki said, “I misjudged her a little.”

She then slid a box across the table, “Look at this.”

‘A necklace?’ Akari asked with her yellow eyes narrowing. She already knew what was going to happen here.

“You should wear this necklace.” It was a silver necklace that honestly looked super cheap.

“What is this?” Kaido wondered.

Mikiko nodded happily, “If you wear this, you will make 100 friends, including Kento Yamazaki.”

Saiki was more than confused about Mikiko's obsession, “Did she just memorize Kento Yamazaki’s name?”

“I can give you this necklace for ¥30,000.”

Kaido gasped in shock, “It’s ¥30,000?”

“Ridiculous.” Saiki rolled his eyes.

Akari snapped, ‘Only an idiot would buy that.’

So Kaido was more than willing to cough up some money for it, “I’ll buy it.”

Akari sighed, ‘Of course he will.’ Why did she even think that he might not buy the ridiculous necklace? 

Saiki turned around and was more than ready to leave the poor boy by himself, “I can’t waste my time with this idiot.” He motioned for Akari to follow him and she had half the mind to follow him out, but she also wanted to make sure that Kaido was okay.

“Tell me one thing.” Akari and Saiki paused as Kaido asked, “Will this necklace make Saiki my friend?”

Akari glanced over at Saiki’s stoic expression. A part of her wished that Saiki opened up a bit more to make some friends. Granted, no matter what he did people just forced him into friendships whether he liked it or not. However, she does think that it would be good for him to make friends himself. There were plenty of people who wanted to be friends with him. Sure, some of them are annoying, but if he opens up a bit more he can pick his good friends easily.

Mikiko was more than willing to agree to that, “If you wear it, even Saiki will call you his pal.”

Saiki scoffed, “Why would I do that?” Yea, it’s absurd to imagine him doing that! I mean, he would never be that happy towards anyone… well, almost anyone.

So Kiaido was more than happy to pay for the necklace and use it to get friends, “I’ll take it!” So he took the necklace and excitedly skipped out of the 

“What an easy target.” The fortune teller scoffed, “Secret organization? What an idiot! Next in line, please come in.”

Akari’s blood started to boil at the way the woman quite happily celebrated how she tricked Kaido. The boy may be naive and a bit stupid, but he’s still her friend. She would be damned if she let someone like this take advantage of her friends. Sure the woman can do what she wants and Akari wouldn’t care about them. Though the moment she starts doing this to people she’s friends with, that’s when things make her upset. That anger started to show as her shadows started to spread across the floor and walls, enveloping everything in its inky darkness.

Noticing the darkness, Mikiko watched as the room became deathly still and  an inky black mass started to form in the middle of the room. Sharp yellow eyes appeared from within the inky mass. They were narrowed into slits, the malice that this supernatural being was feeling permeated off of it, which caused Mikiko to scream. Akari was more than happy to scare the pants off this fraud. What a sadist!

Outside, unknowing to the horror that Akari was causing, Kaido walked down the sidewalk with his newest “mystical” item. No doubt it’ll get him tons of friends! He just can’t wait for it. Though it’ll be such a hassle to have to remember all of their names. Oh well, the price of having too many friends.

“Kaido!” The fortune-teller shouted as she came running down the sidewalk towards him, “I’m returning your money! I never thought that you were telling the truth!” She appeared to be extremely frightened, especially after what she had been subjected to. Akari certainly did a number to her. So she gave back the money and started to sprint away, most likely to leave the country.

Kaido was in shock, “What about the necklace?”

“Take it!” She called out over her shoulder, “I bought it for ¥500.”

“What?”

Behind him, Saiki watched as the fortune-teller ran for her life. He gazed at the shadows that were moving towards him through his glasses. The boy narrowed his eyes slightly at them, “You know, you’re quite scary when you want to be.”

Akari reformed herself into her normal form and shrugged her shoulders, ‘Well, I consider Kaido a friend. I don’t want people to take advantage of my friends.’ Isn’t that a true friend? She wants to make sure that they are safe or something like that. The fortune-teller went too far, so Akari had to rectify it.

Saiki just stared at her and shook his head. Why she considered him to be a good friend, he doesn’t know. He explained, “I don’t want him to think that we’ll become friends because of that necklace. Don’t rely on charms. Learn how to make friends on your own.”

‘Even if you don’t want him to think that you’ll be friends, you do help them out.’

Saiki just about sneered at the sentiment, “I don’t help him.”

Akari glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes. A small smirk graced her lips as she said, ‘Hm, sure you don’t.’

She knows for a fact that Saiki could just turn his head the other way and not get involved. However, time and time again Saiki has been helping people out! It’s been happening more recently, which Akari isn’t sure why now it’s happening, but it’s more than pleasant. Akari likes seeing Saiki do good things for other people. It just means that he could make those connections that he’s been avoiding for so long. Sure, she doesn’t like people all that much either, but she doesn’t want Saiki to miss out on something like friendships or any other relationships.

As they were talking, a sudden Nendo appeared! “Pal! Gal pal! The little guy is here too!” He stared at his friends with a large stupid smile, now more than happy to find his friends here.

Kaido stared at the necklace in wonder, “I knew this necklace was special.” No, that's not the necklace at work, that’s just pure coincidence plus the author's sadism to put their main characters in unfavorable situations.

Saiki just about sneered at Nendo, “You wasted our hard work.”

---

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[our-time-is-now]

September 2, 2019: Maybe suppressing it wasn’t the best thing to do?

(previous play)

You can find more information about the authors, translators, content warning and additional information about the plays in the pinned post on our blog. 

 Attention! This play includes transgender topics. For more details see our interjection.

Monday, 9:42 am:

WhatsApp, David/Matteo:

David (09:42): I cleared the breakfast table and did the dishes and now I miss you. But I guess I’ll get through it… somehow ;-) I know, I already told you, but I wish you a good start and I’m thinking of you. I’m curious to hear what you have to tell me about it tonight! Don’t let anybody flirt with you :-P See you later!

Matteo (09:44): I’m sitting in the subway and I miss you. I’m nervous somehow… But I’ll just think about the fact that I’ll see you when the day is over and then it’ll be okay. And hey, I can’t control that, I can only promise you not to flirt back ;-) See you later :*

David (09:50): I understand that you’re nervous. That’s somehow normal, isn’t it? I’m sure tomorrow it’ll already be better. Or over the course of the day. It’s nice that you don’t want to flirt with anyone. Maybe you should also mention every 30 minutes that you have a great boyfriend whom you love above anything ;-) Just so everyone knows and nobody gets any ideas… I’ll go unpack the rest of my clothes… there’s not much left. We shouldn’t have unpacked so much yesterday so that I would have more to do today… I hope you have a lot of fun! See you later!

Matteo (09:52): I’m there now and I’ll go inside in a minute. So only a quick reply: Good luck with unpacking and with passing the time, I’ll be in touch in my break :*

David (10:22): I know you’ll only read this later, but is it okay if I rearrange the stuff on the shelf a little differently? If I mix our stuff a little? I think that’ll look better… or should we rather keep everything separated?

David (10:38): You know what I just noticed? I’ve never(!) been at the flatshare all by myself… and now that I realize it it’s somehow really weird…

David (11:14): Well I just put everything into the shelf how I wanted to. If you don’t like it, then I’ll rearrange it again.

David (11:47): I’m almost done with unpacking the boxes. It’s still more than 6 hours until we see each other again. What did I do before I had you?

David (12:01): The post guy rang. I accepted a package for our upstairs neighbors. And I didn’t know if that was okay. Was that okay? Do we like them? Or are they stupid and we don’t accept any packages for them?

David (12:15): When did you say your break was?

Matteo (12:37): Finally on my break! And 6 messages from my boyfriend, what a reward. So one thing after the other: Of course you can rearrange the shelf, you can rearrange everything the way you want to. If I don’t like it, then I’ll just put it back again ;-) Did you get used to being at the flatshare all by yourself? You can loudly call “Hello Ech” and see what happens ;-) And I don’t know what you did before you had me. I know what I did before I had you: I smoked weed and played video games. I don’t know if that’s the best recommendation. :-) And haha, yes, the upstairs neighbors are okay. Well it could actually be three different apartments, but they’re all okay. And what are you doing now? Did you already eat? Everything’s okay here, by the way. Kay gave me another introduction, explained the house rules, introduced me to a few colleagues. I’ll start at the café at 1 pm and then I’ll continue from one thing to the next… we’ll see. I’m already looking forward to tonight… I think I forgot what you look like, you should send me a photo ;)

David (12:45): Yeah! A sign of life! Nice! :-) I’m slowly getting used to the empty flatshare - earlier I even briefly considered leaving the door open while peeing… but then I closed it out of habit, after all. But playing video games really is a good idea. Or sketching. I used to do that in the past. But I’m no longer sure if that’s even fun if you’re not sitting next to me making some weird comments… but I’ll give it a try. I haven’t eaten yet. I wanted to bring some empty boxes to the basement in a minute so that they won’t stand in the way anymore and then I wanted to go shopping. Do you need anything in particular? Should I buy you a after-work-beer or something? Your day actually sounds quite chill so far. I hope it’ll stay that way. Is everyone being nice to you? Has someone already flirted with you? I’m also really looking forward to tonight! *sends a photo of him looking very sad and below it it says: “I miss you!”* *immediately adds* And what did you look like again? Did you change over the last three hours?

Matteo (12:49): *smiles when he gets the photo and immediately saves it in his David-file* *then answers* Thank you for the beautiful photo. Peeing with an open door sounds great, you should just do it next time :) And yes, you should sketch, you can just imagine that I’m there making some stupid comments, I’m sure that’ll work… I don’t think that I need anything from the store, there should still be some beer left, you should check how much is left from the move. And yes, everyone is really nice and keeps telling me that I should always ask if I have any questions and so on… And no, miraculously enough no one has flirted with me yet, I can hardly believe it, either :-P *then sends a photo where he pouts and underneath it says: “ I miss you more!”*

David (12:55): I’ll test the peeing thing later… and in case anyone should come home early then I’ll just tell them that it was your idea ;-) I’m happy that everyone’s being nice to you. Although I would have been surprised if that weren’t the case! I’m sure it’ll get excited again later once the kids arrive. I hope you’ll get the chance to have some coffee and that you won’t have too much to do straight away. I’ll think of you when I sketch something! I promise! And when I go to the basement… and shopping… and the bathroom… and all the time, anyways! Anytime and any place! See you later, tesorino! <3<3<3

Matteo (12:58): Of course, it’s always my fault, that’s okay. Okay, I have to get going again, let Iris show me the café and everything. Hopefully I’ll also be able to have some coffee along the way. I don’t know how often I’ll be able to check my phone, but feel free to text me, I’ll just be happy whenever I look at it… Mi manchi, tesorino <3

David (13:34): I’ve just been to the basement and your bed actually would have fit in there, as well… at least since the second table is also in the kitchen. But I think it’ll be better taken care of at Alex’. It’s warmer there and it smells better. And it can talk to my stuff. Now I’ll go peeing again (yes, with the door open) and then I’ll go shopping… anche tu mi manchi!

David (14:02): *sends a photo of an apple that looks like a heart* I just had to think of you… <3

David (14:04): Oh and I just remembered: We already have half of our separation behind us! Yippieh!

David (14:37): There’s still no one here. I just made coffee and put the groceries away. Now I’m sitting in /our/ room (yes, I admit - at first it said “in your room”) on our bed and I’ll sketch a little in a minute… somehow the thought that for now every day will be like this is a little weird… that for now, we’ll be separated for so long every day. I don’t even remember this anymore. It’s so nice to always have you around. And now we’re faced with stupid reality… pfff… but we’ll somehow get used to it… and then be the more happy about it when we’re back with each other again.

David (15:23): *sends a photo of a sketch of him sitting on the bed sketching and Matteo lying next to him commenting on his sketch* *adds* I imagined that you were lying next to me… <3

David (15:42): The One by Kodaline is another song that fits us… sappy but nice. <3

David (16:20): Yeah! Hans is back from work! I’ll have a coffee with him now! And in a little more than two hours, you’ll finally be back here again with me!

David (18:00): YOU'RE DONE!!! So? How was your first day? Hurry up! I’m yearning for you!

Matteo (18:11): God, Schreibner, 8 texts, that’s embarrassing, one could think you miss me or something ;-) I’m at the stop now waiting for the city train. Should be here in 3 minutes and then a 17-minute ride and then a 5-minute walk and I’ll be there. But your afternoon sounds nice, the sketch looks great and the apple is very sappy. So it fits us :) What did you buy? Should I cook something for us when I’m home? I’m hungry… surprisingly enough. See you soon <3

Matteo (18:16): I’m on the train and there’s this guy opposite me who keeps looking over in a weird way. I thought I’d better keep myself busy with my phone…

Matteo (18:18): Oh and I don’t know The One you’ll have to show me later…

David (18:24): Dude, Florenzi - 3 texts within 17 minutes… you’re almost worse than I am :-P I bought all kinds of things. Only delicious stuff - and the apple. I figured we could do with some vitamins… Good thing that you’re hungry! So am I! But you don’t have to cook anything today… See you soon! :-*

Matteo: *has still read David’s answer but didn’t reply* *arrives at the flatshare around 6:40 pm and slightly runs up the stairs* *unlocks the door and immediately thinks that he can smell something* *wonders if Hans has cooked* *closes the door and was just about to call out when David already comes out of the kitchen* *beams automatically* Hey… *reaches him with two steps and hugs him* *presses his nose against his throat and breathes him in* *murmurs* Missed you!

David: *even though Hans has offered to help him, he had insisted on making a casserole all by himself and thought that it was nice that Hans retreated to his room to give the two of them some alone-time* *had been sitting in front of the oven for a while observing the casserole* *had tried how it tasted beforehand and thought it tastes quite good* *hopes that the taste doesn’t change too much in the oven* *eventually sets the table and puts out a beer for Matteo and a glass of water for himself* *then hears the front door at around 6:40 pm and feels his heart skip a beat because he’s so happy that Matteo is back again and also because he’s a little nervous to find out what Matteo will say to the food he prepared* *walks toward him and sees him beam* *can’t help but to beam back and holds Matteo in his arms less than a second later* *presses him close and kisses his neck* *makes a grumbling sound of pleasure and murmurs* So did I… *then moves away from him a bit and tenderly kisses him on the mouth before he lets go of him and takes two backwards steps into the kitchen* *is a little nervous now, after all, and points at the oven* *grins slightly and then says a little proudly* I cooked!

Matteo: *gets a kiss and actually wanted another one, but isn’t fast enough because David has already moved two steps away from him* *follows him into the kitchen and looks at the oven* *then hears David’s words and gapes at him* YOU cooked? Awesome! *squats in front of the oven and looks inside* Pasta casserole? *gets up again and grins at him* Thank you, now I’m really excited… *pulls David close again because he didn’t have him close for way too long, and wraps his arms around his waist* *tilts his head and grins slightly* How much longer does the food take? Do we still have some time?

David: *laughs quietly* Yes, awesome! *says a little teasingly* You and Laura weren’t there so no one could stop me… *lets Matteo pull him close again and wraps his arms around his neck* *slightly tilts his head and thinks, but then nods with a slight grin* We still have some time… *then kisses him again, this time a little longer, and squeezes him closer* *eventually murmurs in complaint* 9 hours are really long��� do you have to go back there tomorrow?

Matteo: *laughs slightly* I’m very curious… if it’s good then you’ll always have to cook for me during the week now. *grins slightly and grins even more when he says that they still have time* *kisses him back and wraps his arms around him a little tighter* *immediately shakes his head at his question* No, I’ll quit tomorrow… *kisses him again and then a little longer once again* Or I’ll demand that you can come with me… then you’ll have to quit university, of course, so that you can come with me.

David: *laughs again quietly* Always!? Well, we’ll see… otherwise you might forget how to cook for yourself or something like that… *nods happily when Matteo says that he’ll quit tomorrow* Hmm… I’m all for it! *returns his kisses and plays a little with his hair* *grins slightly at his suggestion, humms in agreement and kisses him again* I will… *kisses him again and then says* Or you’ll just work from 10 to 2 and I’ll come with you and I’ll go to university from 2 to 6 and you’ll come with me in turn… *kisses him for longer again and then puts his forehead against Matteo’s* *enjoys it that he’s back again, but now asks more serious and with interest* Did you have a nice day?

Matteo: *grins slightly at David’s counterproposal* Sounds sensible, we’ll do that. *kisses him back and closes his eyes for a moment when their foreheads touch* *but then pulls back a little when he hears his question and nods slightly* Yeah, it was good, but also a lot… I was pushed around a lot, but that’s just how it is at first… on Wednesday I have to work earlier because Sannik is going to take me with him… the café shift was quite cool, somehow there’s always something going on there and there are a lot of different people there… *then hears a timer and looks at the oven* Should I take it out?

David: *listens to Matteo and smiles slightly* *was just about to answer him when the timer goes off* *shakes his head at his question and kisses him again* I’ll do it… why don’t you sit down… *lets go of him and grabs the pot holders to take the casserole out of the oven* *says in the meantime* But it’s somehow normal that it’s a lot at first… I’m sure it’ll get better over the next few days… *plates the casserole on the plates he had already taken out of the cabinet* What kind of people were there? And how did the teenagers react when they met you? *carries the plates to the table and grins slightly* *asks teasingly* Did one of them already flirt with you? *sits down and grabs his cutlery*

Matteo: *laughs slightly* Oh, the full service… not bad… *then sits down on the spot where there’s already a beer* *thinks when he hears his question* All kinds of people… apparently there are two, three groups who are regulars and come in pretty often… but today only one of them was in, but they all were really nice and introduced themselves and so on… *then laughs and shakes his head* No, nonsense… no one did… *then also reaches for his cutlery* And I also don’t think that they will…

David: *listens to him again and smiles* Sounds really nice… *then hears that no one has flirted with him and laughs quietly* Or you just didn’t notice… that can happen… it already happened to me… *briefly looks at the food and then at Matteo* Well then… enjoy… and to your first official day of work! *puts the first bite onto his fork and adds with a slight grin* And to us, because we managed to survive the first nine hours of being separated… *blows on his noodles and then puts them in his mouth* *thinks that it actually tastes pretty good, but still steals a glance at Matteo and waits for his verdict*

Matteo: *laughs quietly* Yes, that can happen… when you come visit me, then you can tell me… *smiles slightly and leans over again to kiss him* Enjoy, and thanks for cooking… *then also puts the first bite onto his fork and then hears David’s words* Oh yes… it was really tough… but I guess that’s good training for the weekend… *grimaces slightly when he thinks about it* *but then takes the first bite and was about to smile when he sees that David is watching him* *therefore stays serious and looks at him* Well, this is… *slightly shakes his head, but then grins, after all* ...really delicious! *immediately eats a bigger bite*

David: *nods with a slight grin* I will do that… and I’ll introduce myself to everyone as your boyfriend! *then smiles when he kisses him again and when he thanks him* *shrugs slightly* I thought to celebrate the occasion… *also grimaces when he mentions the weekend and groans quietly* *murmurs* I want to suppress that thought until Thursday, okay? *then watches Matteo when he puts the first bite into his mouth and looks skeptical when he stays so serious* *but then sees him grin and hears that he likes it and gives him the secretary’s-office-look, because he kept him in suspense like that* *murmurs* Ass… *but quickly looks peaceable again and adds* But it’s nice that you like it… maybe I’ll really do that more often from now on… *also puts another bite into his mouth and then asks* And did you already see any workshops or courses or anything?

Matteo: *laughs slightly* Just to make sure… *nods immediately when he says that he wants to suppress thinking about the weekend* Yes, I would also like to… *then laughs again when he calls him an ass* No, really, it tastes great! *grins and nods* Sure, do that… I’m happy if there’s food on the table when I come home… *puts another bite into his mouth and nods at his question* *chews and swallows* Well most courses are on Tuesdays and Wednesdays, but today the ‘Youths’ had an unscheduled meeting, that are all LGBT guys up to 19 years, and it’s lead by Ines and Jana, but Jana is a volunteer…

David: *is quite glad that Matteo also still wants to suppress thinking about the weekend and then really quickly pushes it aside* *is really happy that Matteo likes the food and hopes that now he’s allowed to at least sometimes help with cooking when he wants to* *but usually likes their separation of chores and that Matteo usually cooks* *therefore pffs slightly at his macho comment and says* More often isn’t always… every now and then… if I feel like it… and miss you especially much… or something… *then listens to him when he keeps telling him about Lambda and realizes that somehow this is a completely different kind of conversation they are having - that right now, Matteo is really telling him about his day and what he experienced* *briefly imagines what it will be like when he’s in university, as well, and when they can tell each other about their days in the evening and smiles at the thought that they then will really have something like an everyday-life together* *but then quickly concentrates on Matteo again and nods at what he told him* And were you also there today? What kinds of things are they doing there? Or do they just talk and hang out?

Matteo: *laughs slightly* That was only a joke… I can also still cook when I come home from work… or can bring takeaway or whatever… *then nods slightly at his next question* Yes, but not for thaaat long, only in the beginning… and yes, they are doing a lot of different things, sometimes they only hang out, sometimes they have specific topics that they are talking about, sometimes they cook or go to the movies or do other things together… *takes another bite* I think the main thing about all of these courses is to be together with likeminded people…

David: *grins slightly* Bringing takeaway also sounds nice… we just can’t do that too often… otherwise it’ll get too expensive… *listens to him when he tells him about the group and smiles slightly* That sounds cool… having something like that… a group of likeminded people. *has to think about the fact that he never had that - that he didn’t even know anyone gay or lesbian, because in Lychen and Fürstenberg they either didn’t exist or they didn’t dare come out - and that knowing a real person with similar problems might have done him some good* *takes another bite, chews and then says with his mouth half-full* I should have made use of the time today to take a closer look at their homepage… *swallows* What else is there? Only such general groups or also more specific ones? Like groups only for gays… or something like that?

Matteo: *nods when he says that it sounds cool* Yes, it is, I think… well there’s also a group for older people, but they meet up later… there’s one only for female bisexuals, the BiChicks, and then there’s one for trans youth, the Transformerz… *smiles slightly* I’d like to meet the person who came up with the name. They always meet up on Mondays and Fridays at 6:30… *takes another bite and then says* There’s nothing only for gays, at least I didn’t see anything in the program… most of them are also led by volunteers, especially the ones who meet up later in the day…

David: *listens to Matteo and grimaces in amusement when he mentions the name of the trans group* Transformerz?! *laughs* Oh God… *shakes his head and finds the name very horrible* *still hears the rest of what he tells him, but his thoughts are somehow still with the trans group* *nods and humms when Matteo finishes* *swallows down his bite and then asks hesitantly* And in the trans group… *slightly shakes his head because he’s pretty sure that Matteo can’t tell him too much about it yet* *therefore starts again* Hmmm… you probably don’t know too much about it, yet, either… well, how many people are in this group… and if there are more ftms or more mtfs or something… *briefly lowers his gaze and then laughs quietly* *grimaces slightly and then asks* Does it somehow sound stupid if I tell you that I really would like to meet someone who’s also trans? I mean, live… and not just via the internet… *puts another bite into his mouth and then shrugs and says* Maybe I should check it out…

Matteo: *laughs* Yes, I also find it… meh... *then looks at him when he’s interested in the trans group* *smiles slightly* *says almost apologetically* No, sorry, I don’t know any of those things, yet… but have a look at the homepage, I think there’s also an email address, I’m sure you could also write them… *immediately shakes his head at his question* Doesn’t sound stupid at all… before I met Hans, I’ve never met anyone gay, either… or well, not that I was aware of… *then grins broadly when he says he should go there* Yes, totally, do that… you’ll have a whole bunch of trans people there and you can pick the cool ones to become friends with…

David: *nods when Matteo says that he doesn’t know anything about the trans group yet* *already thought so* *grins slightly when he says that before Hans, he’s never met anyone who’s gay and says* Well, with most gay people… or many people from the LGBT+ community in general, you can’t really tell… *takes a sip and nods again* *then laughs quietly* Well, I wouldn’t necessarily go there to make friends with anyone… that would be more of a cool side effect. But it would be nice to just exchange experiences… or to see what doctors the others have and stuff like that… *stabs a few more noodles onto his fork* But if the group is on Fridays, then I guess I’ll postpone this to sometime after the mastectomy… *realizes once again how quickly all of this is happening now - this Friday, Matteo won’t be here, and the Friday after that is already the date of the mastectomy* *but now prefers to quickly change the subject instead of thinking about that* And do you already know what’s planned for tomorrow?

Matteo: *nods immediately* Yes, sure… but just no one where I knew about it… *then grins when David plays it down* Yes, I get it… just how others feel… I’d also be interested. *then nods when he says that he’ll postpone it until after the mastectomy* Yes, once you recuperated… then you can also immediately talk about it if you want to. *shakes his head at his question* No, not really, Kay said that tomorrow, there’ll be a few people from the team there that weren’t there today and he wants me to accompany some of them… so I’ll see… *takes a big bite*

David: *humms in agreement when Matteo says that he can talk about the mastectomy and keeps eating* *can’t really imagine telling strangers about it but thinks that it might be different if the people are also trans… that some of them might also already have had their mastectomy or some of them might also want to do it* *smiles slightly when Matteo tells him about his not-so-real plan for tomorrow and takes a sip before he answers* But that also sounds quite chill for now… *then looks at him lovingly, because he realizes once again that Matteo has started work and that he has already finished his first day* *realizes that he’s really a little proud of him and eventually asks quietly* And did your nervousness subside over the course of the day?

Matteo: *nods immediately* Yes, I think so, too… to first get a bit of a feel of what goes on there during the day and such… *takes a big bite and then has to chew and swallow first before he can answer* *washes it down with a big gulp of beer* Well, that really went quite well… Kay also immediately noticed and told me that it’s totally normal if you’re nervous on your first day, but that I don’t have to worry, that everyone’s nice and will answer questions and so on… *shrugs one shoulder and grins* And it’s true… *then takes the last bite from his food and leans back* And what about you? Is my… umm… our room completely rearranged and redecorated now? *grins slightly*

David: *also nods* Exactly… and that won’t be much different during the next few days… until you have an idea of how things are done and so on… *then listen to him and is happy that the nervousness disappeared over the course of the day* *smiles* I’m happy for you - that sounds really good… *then sees that he has finished his food and points at the oven where the casserole is* Do you want more? I’m afraid I made too much… *grins very broadly when he also slips up when it comes to talking about their room* *shakes his head and says with a grin* /Our/ room looks good… almost like it did this morning… only with fewer boxes and fuller shelves and desks… I still have some stuff lying around on the desk… especially the sketches that were up in my old room. I’ll have to see what I’ll do with it. I really need a new folder to store them - my old one is pretty full. Maybe I’ll go into town tomorrow to buy a new one… *also pops the last bite of food into his mouth*

Matteo: *grins slightly when he says that he’s happy* Thanks, yes, I hope I’ll quickly be able to get the gist of it… *then looks at the oven and considers briefly* No, maybe later… and if not, then the others would surely also be happy about food… *listens to what he tells him and nods* I want to have a look at it in a minute… but hey, you can also hang up some of it or so… you always said that my walls are so bare… *drinks another sip of beer* You do that… kill some time… *smiles slightly*

David: *nods and shrugs* Hans already ate… he said he can only eat some bread in the evening if he already ate at the cafeteria for lunch because there are some secret fats in the cafeteria food that are bad for his figure or something… *hasn’t really been listening to Hans and instead only nodded in understanding* And Linn and Laura want to go see a movie - they’ll surely eat something on the way… but I’ll just put it in the fridge… then we’ll finish it tomorrow… *nods when Matteo says that he wants to have a look at the room and then briefly gnaws on his bottom lip at his suggestion* *nods hesitantly* Yes, true… they are… but I didn’t want to just hang up things… *slightly shakes his head* You can have a look later if you like some of it and then we’ll think about where to put it together?

Matteo: *nods at his information about the roommates* I see… oh, the way I know me, I’ll be hungry again in an hour… *then looks at him a little confused* Huh? Why not? *also shakes his head* Hey, that’s also your room now, and I want you to feel at home there and that you decorate it… and if there’s something I don’t like, then I’ll tell you… but of course you can just hang up things… *briefly thinks about if there are any exceptions* You’re just not allowed to take down your gift from above the bed… and if you want to put up naked women or something, then we also might have to talk again for a moment…

David: *looks back confused when Matteo looks confused* Well because… *then stops because the only argument he can think of is that saying they are Matteo’s walls doesn’t count any longer* *realizes that it’s apparently difficult for him, after all, to fully realize it* *smiles slightly at Matteo’s next words and nods slightly* *says quietly* Okay… I’ll trust you that you’ll tell me if there’s something you don’t like… *smiles even more when he says that he isn’t allowed to take down his gift and nods* *then laughs loudly at his last thought* Oh damn… now I don’t know where to put all my posters of naked women… maybe Hans wants to have them… *leans forward and kisses him briefly* *asks quietly against his lips* What am I supposed to do with naked women when I have /you/, huh?! *moves away again and grins slightly* *then reaches for their plates and collects them to wash them later* *is quite glad that he has already cleaned up the chaos from cooking and that now he really only has to clean the plates and the cutlery so that they’ll have more time to themselves later*

Matteo: *grins when he agrees with him* You can do that… *then laughs slightly* Hans will surely want them… or Abdi… hey, Abdi for sure. *then grins into the kiss and then shakes his head* Charmer… *sees him get up and clear the table* *also gets up and helps him carry everything to the sink* I can do the dishes… you already cooked…

David: *grins when Matteo mentions Abdi and nods in amusement* True! So /if/ I had countless posters of naked women, /then/ I’d surely give them to Abdi. *laughs quietly* We better not tell him - otherwise he’ll be sad that he won’t get any… *smiles when Matteo helps him carry the stuff to the sink and offers to help* *lets water into the sink and slightly shakes his head* It won’t take long… you can already cover the casserole and put it in the fridge... *then looks at him and lightly bumps his shoulder against his* *realizes that he’s really yearning for him and that he has to catch up on some physical contact and is already looking forward to their time in their room soon*

Matteo: *laughs* Yep, but this might be an idea for his next birthday… *looks skeptical for a moment and considers arguing with him about doing the dishes, but then drops it* *gets the tin foil out of the cabinet and covers the casserole* *then puts it in the shelf of the fridge that now has the post-it “Matteo + David” on it* *then steps behind David, who’s still doing the dishes, wraps his arms around him and puts his head onto his shoulder* *can see that he only has the cutlery left to clean* *kisses his throat and grumbles slightly pleasantly* *says quietly* Let’s go to bed soon?

David: *starts doing the dishes and, out of the corner of his eyes, watches Matteo cover the casserole and put it into the fridge* *then feels his arms around his stomach and slightly leans against him while he cleans the cutlery* *is tempted to close his eyes when Matteo kisses his neck and also grumbles quietly and pleasantly* *nods at his question and puts the cutlery on the sink to dry* *just stays in Matteo’s arms for a moment, but eventually grabs the dish towel from next to the sink and dries his hands before he turns around in Matteo’s arms* *leans his forehead against Matteo’s and now really closes his eyes for a moment* *then kisses him tenderly onto his mouth and quietly asks again* Bed?

Matteo: *smiles slightly when David stops a little and holds him a little tighter* *also closes his eyes when David turns around to him* *tenderly kisses him back and nods immediately* Yes, please! *slowly pulls away from him and leads the way to their room* *takes a look around and then turns around to him with a grin* Looks good… like you have been living here for months… *pulls him close and kisses him again* *then pulls away again to take off his shoes and drops down onto the bed*

David: *smiles when Matteo agrees to the bed-plan and follows him to their room* *grins slightly when he looks around and then hears his comment and lifts his eyebrows in amusement* That’s what I’ve actually been doing… the only thing that was missing were a few personal things… *briefly wraps an arm around his hip when he pulls him close, returns his kiss and nudges his nose against his before they pull apart again* *closes the door and laughs quietly when he drops down onto the bed at the same time Matteo does* *then scoots up so that his head is a little higher and holds his arms out for Matteo* *waits for him to cuddle close, then kisses his hair and asks* And what do you think how long it will take us for our yearning-batteries are recharged again?

Matteo: *immediately crawls into David’s arms and puts his head down on his throat* *grumbles pleasantly* Hmmm… at least one hour… if not two… *wraps one arm around David’s middle and kisses his neck* *then just stays like that for a moment before he quietly says* It was really weird so completely without you… when I was at the café, one of the teenagers told a joke and I immediately turned around to see if you’re also laughing… *laughs quietly* Now I don’t even remember the joke…

David: *wraps his arms around Matteo and also grumbles pleasantly* At least one, two hours, I’d say… *runs his hand through his hair and kisses his forehead* *then closes his eyes and enjoys having the familiar closeness and the familiar Matteo-smell back* *listens to him when he starts talking and nods slightly when he says that it was weird today* *can understand that* *smiles slightly when he tells him about the teenager and squeezes him a little closer* *murmurs quietly* I’m sure I would have also laughed… *then admits* I’m no longer used to the quiet when I sketch… I mean, it’s not like you usually chatter all the time… but you just sometimes laugh if you read something funny… or you’re happy if you manage a level or you huff quietly if you screw up a level… or sometimes you just reposition yourself on the bed… I never noticed how much of a difference those small sounds make and show me that you’re there… I only noticed that today when they were no longer there… *really felt like he was alone for the first time in a long time and realized that this fact bothers him much more than it used to*

Matteo: *laughs quietly when he says that he would have laughed* I think so, too… *then listens to him when he tells him that he misses the small sounds* *can somehow understand that* *then remembers that David didn’t have a problem with being alone before they got together* *feels this pleasant tugging and turns his head a little so that he can kiss him properly* *says quietly* I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to huff… and that you can no longer be alone because of me… *kisses him again and then smiles slightly* Although, no, I’m not sorry for the latter…

David: *slightly moves towards Matteo when he realizes that he wants to kiss him and returns the kiss* *then grins slightly when he apologizes that he didn’t huff, but then gets more serious again and slightly shakes his head at his addition* *tenderly cards through his hair when he kisses him again and then also smiles when he takes his apology back* *swallows slightly and then says quietly* And you don’t have to… you just showed me pretty quickly that being alone is actually pretty crap… *then turns a little more toward him, so that he can look at him better, and tenderly runs his hand over his side* *finally says with a slight chuckle* Maybe I’ll record a few of your noises soon and play them when you’re not there…

Matteo: *smiles slightly when he says that being alone is crap* I think so, too… *wraps his arm around him again when he turns to him* *then laughs at his suggestion* That’s a little creepy… but if it helps then do it… *grins slightly and kisses him again, simply because he’s on withdrawal* But then I also want messages from you that I can listen to when I miss you too much…

David: *laughs quietly when Matteo says that this is creepy and shrugs one shoulder* No idea if it’ll help… but it’s worth a try… *grins slightly when Matteo kisses him again and then also kisses him* *then sighs quietly because right now he finds it so nice that Matteo is with him again* *nods with a slight grin when he hears his demand* You’ll get that… I’ll start tomorrow! I’ll take turns with sending you voice messages and written messages… *tenderly puts a hand on his cheek and briefly kisses him again before he asks quietly* Do you think we’ll get used to it quickly… that we won’t be together as much anymore?

Matteo: *grins slightly* Very nice… *kisses him back and runs his hand a little along his side* *then sighs at his question* Don’t know… it sucks somehow, because I actually don’t want to get used to it… but on the other hand, it’ll just be a big part of our daily life from now on… *looks at him and pouts a little* What do you think?

David: *nods at Matteo’s answer, because he knows exactly what he means* *smiles slightly when Matteo pouts and runs his hand over it to wipe it away* I don’t know… *briefly closes his eyes and sighs briefly* I don’t want to get used to being so happy to have you back… and I want us to continue to text each other so much when we don’t see each other… and that we’re thinking of each other… but… no idea… I think I also want that the yearning won’t stay that strong that you can barely think of anything else… *slightly shakes his head* Maybe I just felt like this today, because I’m really not used to it anymore… and because I didn’t really have anything important to do. Maybe it’ll get better when uni starts and we both have our everyday life… *grins slightly, kisses him again and says* Because that actually doesn’t feel that bad, either… being able to say that /we have an everyday life together/… *emphasizes those words especially and shrugs one shoulder with a grin* ...a little like an established couple with routines… *smiles and lets his hand slip into Matteo’s hair* ...as long as it doesn’t get too much everyday life or we somehow lose each other in it or something… but earlier, when you told me about your day… that was somehow pretty nice, wasn’t it?

Matteo: *nods slightly when he talks and when he seems to understand what he wasn’t able to voice as well* Yes, exactly… well I do want to miss you and be happy when we see each other again… but exactly, it shouldn’t be so prevalent somehow… *slightly nods again when he talks about everyday life* *laughs slightly when he emphasizes the words like that* *then grins* Yes, exactly… when we both have arrived in our everyday lives and when everything gets a little more in a routine… and we still are happy and do something and so on… *runs his hand through David’s hair and plays a little with the strands* Yes, I also found that nice… having an exchange about how our days were and what happened… *then sighs slightly and kisses him again* But I still love spending my day with you the most…

David: *is happy that Matteo seems to understand what he means and nods* Exactly! *closes his eyes for a moment and smiles when Matteo starts playing with his hair, because he somehow likes it how he sometimes totally loses himself while he does that* *humms in agreement and says quietly* Exactly. And in October, when university starts, then I’ll also have more exciting things to tell you than what happens at the flatshare over the course of the day - which is nothing, because everyone’s at work. *grins slightly, but gets more serious again when Matteo kisses him again* *feels a strong tingling of love in his stomach when he hears his next words, because the fact that Matteo feels the same makes him so happy and because it’s still unbelievable and unreal that he’s the one who can make sure that Matteo is doing good and that he’s happy* *smiles at him lovingly and says quietly* And when I can spend mine with you… *puts his hand on his cheek and suggests* The next time when we have a day all to ourselves, we’ll make something special out of it, okay? With eating in bed and movies and a lot of talking and making out and such… umm, unless you’d rather do something… then we can also do something… *briefly wonders when they might have a day all to themselves again, but stops thinking about it when he realizes that this definitely won’t be the case during the next two weeks*

Matteo: *humms in agreement when he talks about October and university* *smiles when he returns his words and tells him that he loves spending his days with him the most* That’s a good fit, then… *looks at him when he puts his hand on his cheek* *smiles at his suggestion and nods immediately* No, I don’t want to do anything… only you and I… *already wants to talk about Saturday when he remembers that he won’t be there on that day and that after that, there’s already the mastectomy* *sighs slightly* Then on the Saturday after the mastectomy… then you can’t really be very active, anyways, so we’ll spend that day in bed… *remembers that then they’ll also have to forgo sex and regrets the fact that they didn’t enjoy the last weekend they had all to themselves more consciously*

David: *smiles and nods slightly when Matteo says that they won’t do anything when they have a day to themselves again* *then hears him sigh and also sighs quietly at his words* *grimaces slightly and tenderly strokes his cheek again, but then lowers his hand and turns this head toward the ceiling in thought* *briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and then says quietly and a little bitterly* More likely on the Saturday when I’ll be back from the hospital… in three weeks… *sighs again quietly and then looks at him again with raised eyebrows* Three weeks… *slightly shakes his head and then says* I feel like somehow we’re moving from an absolute non-stop couple quality-time phase into a non-stop constantly missing-each-other hardly-time-for-each-other phase…

Matteo: *nods slightly when David corrects him bitterly* Yes, that’s what I meant… well I’ll also be at the hospital on Saturday, but I meant when you’re back again… *grimaces when he emphasizes the three weeks so much again* *shakes his head* No… well maybe a little… but we’ll see each other, all the time in between and as often as we can manage… *then sighs slightly* Yes okay, this weekend will be hard… but then… *looks at him and stills the hand in his hair* We’ll just make the best out of it when we see each other, okay? *also thinks that David is somewhat right, btu wants to cheer him up and doesn’t want him to feel so dejected*

David: *frowns when Matteo puts his words a little into perspective* *thinks that he’s right about it, of course, when he says that they’ll see each other as often as possible, but still thinks that it will be a huge difference to how it was before and especially how it was on their holiday* *grimaces slightly when he mentions this weekend and doesn’t really think that it will be easier afterwards because then - if at all, they’ll also only have the evenings to themselves and that he’ll have to go to the hospital immediately afterwards* *nods at his words, even though right now he feels like being apart from Matteo bother him much more than it does him* *wonders if it’s because Matteo will be busy - both now during the week as well as on the weekend - and thinks that then it’s somehow obvious that he doesn’t have as much time to miss him* *still thinks that this somehow sucks* *sighs quietly and nods again* Yes sure, of course… we’ll do that… *turns away from him and then reaches for the bottle of water next to the bed* *sits up and takes a sip*

Matteo: *sees David frown and even grimace slightly* *suddenly regrets having worded it so offhandedly and wonders if he might have angered David with it* *hears his answer and then sees him turn away and even sit up* *says softly* Hey… the battery isn’t fully recharged yet… *sees David continue to drink and also sits up* *turns so that he’s sitting across from him and looks at him* Hey, do you think I like that? I don’t want that, either… not at all, zero, oh a negative thousand… I… *slightly shrugs one shoulder* I thought that it’s easier if I play it down…

David: *smiles slightly when Matteo says that the battery isn’t fully charged yet, but somehow still needs a moment to himself right now* *out of the corner of his eyes he sees that Matteo also sits up, and lowers the bottle when he sits down across from him* *hears his question and shrugs* *thinks that they never really talked about it - only briefly one time when they saw the plan - and that they managed to suppress this topic quite well over the last few days and weeks* *slowly screws the lid back onto the bottle while he listens to Matteo and suddenly feels a little relieved when he hears how little Matteo wants to go to the seminar* *then shakes his head a little at his last words and murmurs* Somehow it isn’t… *then exhales slowly and says* We never really talked about it… we always kept saying that we didn’t want to think about it just yet… but the question is when do we want to think and talk about it… I don’t know, we can’t just think about the fact that you’ll be gone for three days on Thursday or Friday night… *slightly shakes his head and looks at the bottle while he quietly admits* When you played it down just now, I thought that it might not bother you as much… and that I’m maybe making a fuss and that I should pull myself together…

Matteo: *sighs slightly when he says that this somehow doesn't make it any better* *listens to him and has to agree with him* *says carefully* Maybe suppressing it wasn’t the best thing to do? *shakes his head at his last words* But I do care… a lot… and yes, maybe you’re right, maybe we should talk about it… because I have this feeling that this will happen again in the future… that there’s a lot to do, at work for me or at university for you… *grimaces slightly* And it sucks if then we’ll only suppress it… *looks at him and then says a little hesitantly* So a round of honesty, okay? I’ll start. *takes a deep breath* I have no idea how I’m supposed to manage two nights without you. I’m scared about that the most. That I’ll be lying in this stupid bed and that I’ll miss you so much that I won’t be able to sleep.

David: *smiles slightly at Matteo’s words and shakes his head* Not really, no. *looks at him again when he says that he does care and smiles again, albeit a little sadly, because he doesn’t really want them to “suffer” like this, but because he’s also relieved because apparently Matteo sees it the same way he does, after all* *then nods when he says that this will happen again and murmurs quietly* Yes, a real everyday life… *nods again, this time a little more, and exhales in relief* *smiles when he proposes a round of honesty and nods* Okay… *looks at him and listens to him* *would love to embrace him for what he’s saying, but somehow feels like right now, the distance is doing them some good so that they can concentrate better* *instead looks at him lovingly and says quietly when he finishes* I’m also scared of the nights… and that I won’t be able to fall asleep without you… *slightly shakes his head and says hesitantly* Maybe then we can simply text each other? And before we go to bed, we’ll definitely talk on the phone again? I’d say we’ll talk on the phone until the first one of us falls asleep, but I’m afraid you won’t get a single room…

Matteo: *immediately realizes that David is also scared about the nights and now understands even more why his tactic of taking it so lightly earlier wasn’t good* *immediately smiles at his suggestion* Talking on the phone sounds good… well then I’ll just go outside and we’ll text when we’re in bed… and send each other embarrassing photos that could be used against us… *really feels a little better now, because they were able to talk about it and develop mechanisms against it* *carefully nudges against his knee* Now it’s your turn… round of honesty… let it all out…

David: *grins slightly when Matteo talks about embarrassing photos, but then says a little desperately* Yes please! And not only at night in bed! The whole day! Every hour or something… *laughs quietly and lowers his gaze a little embarrassed* Yes, okay, you maybe won’t be able to manage one every hour… but… no idea… just often… *feels that talking about it did him some good and wonders why they haven’t done this much sooner* *then gets nudged against his knee and looks up at him again* *sighs quietly when he tells him that it’s his turn now and gets more serious again* I’m scared of the scope… I mean, it’s more than 50 hours… and today I was always able to cheer myself up by remembering that you’ll be back in a few hours or minutes… I think with the normal everyday life that we’re about to face it’ll be okay at some point… we’ll both be able to manage that, I’m sure of it. There will be days where it’ll be easy and days where it’ll be difficult, but even on the days where it’s difficult you can be comforted by the fact that it’ll only be a few hours until we see each other again… but an entire weekend… with so many hours… *shrugs slightly*

Matteo: *laughs slightly when he demands a photo every hour* I’ll try my best… as often as I can manage… *slightly tilts his head and listens to him* *can understand his fear and also thinks that a weekend sounds like forever and insurmountable* *suddenly has to think about his mother, who, when he didn’t want to tidy up, used to tell him to just start with one corner* *says hesitantly* You know… maybe we shouldn’t think of the weekend as a weekend…. maybe we should just think about it in smaller sections… for example, the lunch break is in three hours, then we can talk on the phone… or in 10 minutes, I can go to the bathroom again and send you a pointless message… you know, we can break up the weekend into small sections… bit by bit… hour by hour… minute by minute…

David: *smiles slightly when Matteo says that he’ll try and that he’ll get a photo as often as possible* *frowns slightly when he suggests to not think of the weekend as a weekend, and at first doesn’t quite understand what he means* *but then smiles a little when he gets it and mulls over the thought* *smiles more when he finishes and when he’s talking about breaking it up* Breaking it up, huh… *laughs quietly and nods hesitantly* I think that would really make it easier… do you think you’ll get a schedule or something like that? Of what the day will look like? Something so that we can orientate ourselves? *would really like to have something like that, so that he can imagine at least to some extent what Matteo might be doing at that moment if he misses him too much*

Matteo: *nods when David seems to understand* Exactly, break it up… *then also smiles slightly at his question* I hope so… and if not, then I’ll just ask… they’ll surely have some agenda… I’ll take a photo of it for you… *reaches his hand out for him and manages to take his hand* So we’ll try it like that, okay? And if it’s totally stupid, then we’ll tell each other straight away, alright?

David: *smiles when Matteo says that he’ll take a photo of the agenda and nods* Yes, please! *then laughs quietly* And I’ll also make you one… of my incredibly eventful weekend! *sighs quietly and realizes that he’s slowly starting to feel a little better* *entwines their fingers when Matteo takes his hand and looks at him* *nods at his questions* We will! *then tilts his head a little and asks with a smile* Anything else for the round of truth? Anything you’re scared of, anything that sucks, anything that we have suppressed talking about?

Matteo: *laughs slightly when he says that he’ll also make one* Very good, then we can coordinate the times when we’ll talk on the phone… *automatically tilts his head, as well, when David does* *slightly presses his lips together when he hears his question, because he has to think about the mastectomy* *but doesn’t know if he should mention it, because there isn’t a solution to make it any different* *but thinks that they are honest and that they said that they shouldn’t suppress it any longer* *sighs slightly* Your surgery… well I know we already talk about it… and I actually also know what’s about to happen and what the risks are and such, but… I’m still scared, and sometimes… when I think about it then I have to force myself not to think about it, because… otherwise I’ll get scared… *takes a deep breath and then adds* And I know that you’re really looking forward to it and I’m also really happy for you, but I’m still scared.

David: *nods immediately when Matteo mentions the mastectomy, because just then he realizes that this is also a topic that they are very good at suppressing and postponing really talking about* *listens to him seriously and wishes once again that he could somehow relieve him of this fear, but is pretty much aware of the fact that that’s not really possible* *slightly shakes his head when he finishes and squeezes his hand* Matteo, I don’t doubt for even a second that you’re not happy for me! The one thing doesn’t have anything to do with the other, okay? *sighs quietly and thinks about what he could say about his fear and eventually says hesitantly* And I think it's totally and absolutely legitimate to be scared. I sometimes feel like you think someone would judge you for being scared for me. But that’s not the case. And even if, then just screw them. You’re allowed to be scared! And you’re also allowed to say that you’re scared. And even though there’s no solution or cure or anything about the fear at that moment… *slightly shakes his head* … no idea… then it might be some use if you’re not alone with that fear? *shrugs one shoulder and looks at him carefully* I don’t know… is that any use? *scoots a little closer to him and tenderly runs his hand through his hair and over his cheek* *then leaves his hand there and says quietly* I’m also scared! *knows that his fear isn’t comparable to Matteo’s and also feels more happiness and disbelief than fear, but thinks that it might be important for Matteo to hear that he’s not the only one who’s scared* *therefore adds* And Laura… and my mother… and Linn…

Matteo: *smiles slightly when he confirms that he knows that he’s happy for hom* *finds it good to hear that he can separate that* *swallows slightly when he says that it’s legitimate to be scared and that it’s nothing that you have to hide* *then hears his question and slightly shrugs one shoulder* *doesn’t really know if it will help* Dunno… maybe… *presses his lips together when he says that he’s also scared and when he lists even more people who are scared* *doesn’t think that this helps him very much because the fear is his fear* *tries to put that into words* I don’t know… of course other people are also scared, I know that… but I think that doesn’t really help… that’s their fear and not mine… I just have to learn to somehow deal with my fear…

David: *tenderly strokes his cheek again, but then lets go of him again to give him the necessary space to think* *listens to him and nods hesitantly* *still takes a moment to understand what he means and asks hesitantly* And did you… *slightly shakes his head and stops, because at that moment he realizes something different* *smiles slightly and asks hesitantly* Wanting, not having to, right? Well you don’t /have/ to learn how to deal with it, you rather /want/ to, don’t you? *shrugs one shoulder* Sorry, I was somehow thinking about your grandmother… *then takes a deep breath and gets serious again* *then does pick up his question from the beginning, after all* Did you already try something? Or do you have any ideas what you might try? *thinks that suppressing and avoiding might not be the best strategy*

Matteo: *looks a little confused when he stops his question* *but then has to smile immediately when he corrects himself* True… I /want/ to learn how to deal with it… *smiles slightly* It’s okay, she’s right… *tilts his head when he then asks his question* *fumbles with the blanket with his free hand* Hmmm, well, yes, I try to rationalize it… well I try to argue with myself with logic… that statistically speaking, it’s totally unlikely that you won’t be able to tolerate the anesthesia… that the success rate of your surgeon is very high… stuff like that… *shrugs one shoulder* Sometimes it works better, sometimes not so much…

David: *smiles when Matteo laughs and agrees with him about his grandmother* *then listens to him, humms in agreement and nods slowly* *has to think about the fact that this was one of the methods that he used to utilize with his therapist and that he used to tell him that it’s all a matter of practise* Hmm, but that’s already a good start… *hesitates briefly and then says a little hesitant and disjointedly* Back then, when I was doing so badly… the weeks before I came to Berlin… I also had a lot of fears back then… and some of them weren’t really rational, either… that was the time when I wasn’t able to sleep. Then I suddenly had thoughts such as… no idea… if I go pee at school, what if they’re lying in wait for me in the bathroom… what happens if they come into the changing rooms during PE… what happens if they have connections and cause my name change and change of personal status to be rejected… and I had dreams that kept coming back… that I will no longer get a prescription for testo and that my transition goes the wrong way… or that my hair suddenly grows again and I wasn’t able to find scissors to cut them again… stuff like that… *slightly shakes his head as if to pull himself out of his thoughts* *sighs quietly and looks at Matteo* *doesn’t really want to talk about himself and therefore quickly adds why he told him about that* And back then, my therapist had a few different methods that he showed me and that we tried… *grins slightly* One of them was exercise and burning off energy… because when you exercise you don’t think that much and because you’re able to fall asleep faster if you burnt off energy and because you’re too tired to think… that’s probably not an option for you, is it? *then gets more serious again* But also relaxation methods… progressive muscle relaxation and certain types of meditation… *shrugs one shoulder* But that wasn’t really my thing because I found it difficult to really relax… but maybe it would be an option for you…? *absentmindedly unscrews the water bottle again and takes a sip* Well and one method… that actually worked quite well eventually… it’s similar to what you’re already doing, just… somehow more visual… *briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and then has to chuckle slightly* *slightly shakes his head* I don’t want to somehow give you therapy or anything… I’m not even able to do that, anyways… but if you want to, then I can show you… *shrugs one shoulder* Maybe it’ll also be helpful for you…

Matteo: *listens to him when he talks and would really like to hug him right now* *but can also feel that he’s actually getting at something different and that they’re not done yet* *smiles slightly when he mentions burning off energy* No, I don’t think that’s my thing… *then nods slightly when he mentions relaxation* *thinks that before he met David, he sometimes really did something like that, with music or with weed, even though that probably wasn’t the best method* *then laughs slightly when he says that he doesn’t want to give him therapy* It’s okay… *nods hesitantly when he says that he can show him* Yes, I’d like that…

David: *grins slightly when Matteo confirms that burning off energy probably isn’t his thing and murmurs quietly* I thought so… *then sees him nod at his words about relaxation, but can’t really say much on that topic and thinks that someone else would have to show that to Matteo or that he would have to do research on it* *eventually smiles slightly when he agrees that he can show him the method and can feel that he’s a little nervous and flustered, because he hopes that Matteo won’t find it stupid and that it might help him in the long run* *takes a deep breath and scoots a little closer to him so that they’re sitting cross-legged and facing each other* Okay… *looks at him* There are three steps… or phases… whatever… and you have to keep repeating them… the aim is, in the long haul, to replace the negative images in your head with positive ones… *hesitates, but then reaches for his hand, because he always found the first phase to be pretty difficult and he doesn’t want Matteo to feel a lone with it* *says quietly* Close your eyes… *waits for Matteo to close his eyes, swallows slightly because somehow he finds it so unbelievable that Matteo trusts him so much that he goes along with all of that* *quietly clears his throat and then says* And now you have to deliberately think about the thing you’re scared of… imagine your fears as images… well… no idea… an image of me lying in bed and… *stops because he doesn’t want to say it out loud* *instead says* ...well basically your worst images of what might happen… *squeezes his hand a little to signal him that he’s here and that actually everything is good*

Matteo: *smiles slightly when David also sits down cross-legged* Okay… *also looks at him* *then listens to him attentively* Three phases, okay… *looks at him in surprise when he takes his hand, but squeezes it, anyways* *immediately closes his eyes when David tells him to* *takes a deep breath and exhales and tries to relax* *but then swallows hard when he hears his first request* *thinks about David in a hospital bed, with his eyes closed and not moving* *but mostly thinks about that because David has started like that* *but realizes that this isn’t the worst, because this way, he can at least see David* *therefore thinks about a doctor that tells him that he’s in critical condition and that he can’t see David and that he isn’t able and allowed to tell him anything else* *swallows again and squeezes his eyes shut a little tighter* *nods slightly to indicate that he’s imagining it*

David: *is quiet and watches Matteo closely and a little worriedly* *sees him swallow and hopes that it won’t be too bad for him* *sees him squeeze his eyes shut after a while and would like to hug him, but doesn’t want to disrupt his concentration* *then sees him nod and says quietly* Okay… and now really imagine this image as a literal image… as a photo or poster or placard… as something that you can destroy… and then think about how you could destroy it… hmmm… you could tear it up and throw it in the trash… or burn it… or pour paint over it… or a beaver could come along and eat it… *smiles slightly and then says* But definitely something that completely destroys the image, okay? *is quiet again and gives him time to imagine it*

Matteo: *can still see the doctor in his mind’s eye who coldly and without emotion tells him one bad piece of information after the other* *needs a moment until he’s able to concentrate on David’s voice* *manages to freeze the image of the doctor and imagine it as a poster* *would normally laugh about the thing with the beaver, but is too concentrated right now* *imagines red paint that he pours over the poster* *but then thinks that this reminds him of blood and changes it to blue* *sees the blue paint run down over the image and then gives a slight nod again*

David: *watches Matteo again and gives him the time he needs* *eventually sees him give a slight nod again, but isn’t sure and therefore asks quietly* Is the image destroyed completely? *sees him nod more clearly this time and nods as well, takes a deep breath and then says* Okay… now it’s about creating a new image in your mind… now you have to think about how the image you just destroyed would have looked like if the thing had a positive outcome… What does the image you wish for that situation look like? An image you’re no longer scared of… for example, the doctor telling you that everything went well… or that I’m waking up from anesthesia and that I’m happy to see you or something like that… *slightly presses his lips together because he knows that it’s difficult to imagine a positive image if you’re actually scared, but hopes that Matteo will manage* *runs his thumb over the back of his hand almost automatically*

Matteo: *can still see the paint running down and that eventually he can no longer see the doctor* *hears David ask again and nods more vigorously* *then listens to him further and almost has to smile when he mentions a doctor, because he couldn’t actually have known that this was his image* *takes a deep breath* *feels David’s thumb and manages to imagine a doctor again* *is a little surprised that it’s the same doctor* *tries to imagine a different one but keeps going back to the first one* *tries harder and finally sees him with a more friendly and open expression* *smiles when he tells him that everything went well and that there weren’t any complications and that he can go see David now* *nods and smiles slightly*

David: *watches Matteo again and is quiet to give him time to concentrate* *eventually sees him smile and feels heart do a little jump and that he also has to smile automatically* *eventually sees him nod again and says quietly* And now try to memorize that image for a moment… *waits a few more seconds and watches him, but then has to lean forward and quickly kiss him* *whispers against his lips* That’s it… *pulls away from him again and waits for him to open his eyes again* *looks at him lovingly because he finds it so great that Matteo went along with this* *explains* That’s the method which sometimes really helped me a lot… and that’s all a matter of practise… the more often you play this out in your head, the easier it is to get to the positive images. And the goal is actually supposed to be that your brain automatically replaces some of the negative thoughts with the positive ones. But in my case, that didn’t work for all my fears… but with some of them, it did… *shrugs one shoulder again and smiles a little insecurely* Well… maybe it’ll also help you a little bit… the first step is really hard. To really visualize your fear and to not suppress it like you’re used to… *presses his lips together, because he has talked so much now and because he also wants to give Matteo the chance to get a word in in case he wants to talk about how he found that experience* *but could also understand if he can’t or doesn’t want to say too much about it*

Matteo: *memorizes the image* *then suddenly feels David’s lips on his and smiles immediately* *wets his lips a little after David leans back again and only then opens his eyes* *finds it pretty wonderful to see him* *listens to him and nods slightly* Well, I think that was good… just destroying the image already helps… *nods slightly* But the question is if it will also help in an acute situation, if I’m really scared and if I can’t just conjure up that fear like I did just now… *leans forward and lightly kisses him again* But still thanks… I think that this will help me…

David: *smiles and nods when Matteo says that the destroying helps* Exactly… *grins slightly* ...and eventually, you also get creative with doing it… there are so many ways to destroy something… *then nods again when he’s talking about an acute situation and says hesitantly* Yes, that’s why it’s important to keep practising it… so if you notice a fear coming up, then don’t suppress it and use this method instead… or just do it very consciously - even though you don’t have any fears at that moment… *smiles slightly and shrugs one shoulder* That used to be my therapist’s homework… that I should constantly imagine scary situations, even though it wasn’t acute at that moment… he said that this method has to become a routine so that you can also use it in acute situations… *sighs quietly* But oftentimes it’s really not that easy… *is talking from experience* *smiles when Matteo thanks him and tenderly strokes over his cheek when he leans forward to kiss him* *murmurs* You’re welcome… thanks for going along with it… *then wraps his arms around him so that he can’t move away again and pulls him back into a horizontal position - a little awkwardly as they are both still sitting down cross-legged* *thinks that they have been apart for long enough now* *is quiet with him for a moment and waits to see if he wants to say anything else to his fears* *in the meantime thinks about how good it felt that they talked about it - about the Voluntary-Year-weekend as well as the mastectomy, and eventually says hesitantly and quietly to also get it out of his mind* Honesty round part 4… I’m scared of the pain after the surgery…

Matteo: *also grins slightly when he says that you eventually get creative* *nods when he says something about practising and homework* I will… I want to get a better handle on it… *is happy when David doesn’t let go of him again and manages a little awkwardly to disentangle his legs so that they can lie down again* *has one arm wrapped around him and sees David lie down on his shoulder* *just enjoys lying there with him for a moment and thinks about the method and if he’ll really manage to deal with his fears better* *then hears David’s quiet words and automatically pulls him closer* *also says quietly* I can understand that… but we’re all there for you and we’ll make it as easy for you as we can manage, I promise.

David: *smiles when Matteo says that he wants to get a better handle on his fears and hopes that he’ll really manage it and that he won’t do too badly on the day of the surgery* *then puts his head down on Matteo’s shoulders and wraps an arm tightly around his chest* *humms in agreement at his words and murmurs* I know… *briefly gnaws on his bottom lip and then admits hesitantly and quietly* ...but… I don’t want everyone to see me like that… so… no idea… weak or something… I mean, with you it’s okay… really… with you I can be weak and don’t feel small in the process… but with the others it’s really difficult for me… *knows that Matteo can’t be there for him all the time because he has to work and briefly thinks about with whom else he wouldn’t have a problem with showing weakness without feeling small in front of that person*

Matteo: *sighs slightly when he says that he doesn’t want everyone to see him like that* *knows that he can’t always be there* I should have found something else… something that only starts in October… *squeezes him a little tighter and presses a kiss to his head* But you can always text me, ok? Or send me voice messages if typing is too exhausting… *humphs slightly and thinks* Isn’t there anyone else where you at least don’t mind them helping you a little?

David: *immediately shakes his head when Matteo says that he should have found something different and briefly looks up at him annoyed* Are you crazy!? What nonsense… your Voluntary Year is just as important, you hear?! *then nods at his suggestion and smiles immediately* Yes, that’s good! Sometimes just letting it out already helps… *looks at him seriously* But you have to promise me that you’ll still concentrate on Lambda and that you won’t drop everything just because I tell you that something hurts, okay? For me it’s enough to know that I can be like that with you… that I can whine… *then sighs quietly at his question and puts his head back onto his shoulder* Phew… dunno… *thinks about all the people and immediately rules out Hans and Linn, because they would probably panic immediately* *doesn’t really want to show weakness in front of Laura, either - on the one hand because right now she already tends to patronize him currently, anyways, and on the other hand, because he doesn’t want her to worry* *thinks about the friends and immediately rules out the girls* *then thinks about the boys and the fact that Carlos is out, anyways, because he also has to work and Abdi would probably be pretty helpless* *eventually says hesitantly* Jonas or Alex maybe… *shrugs one shoulder* I’ll see… *has to chuckle a little* Maybe I’ll just test who has the best reaction after my first cry of pain…

Matteo: *laughs slightly when David immediately reacts so strongly* Yeees, sure… I didn’t do that, anyways… *then nods immediately* I promise… if you promise me that you’ll really rest and that you’ll really whine at me about EVERYTHING    that bothers and hurts you, okay? *looks down to him when he doesn’t really know from whom he would accept help* *secretly guesses Alex or Carlos* *then hears that he was close* Not Carlos? I thought Carlos… oh no, he also has to work, right. *then also grins a little at his last sentence* Good tactic… but if you ask me, then you already picked two good candidates… they wouldn’t caudle you too much, but they would still be there whenever you need something.

David: *smiles when Matteo promises to still concentrate on Lambda* *then laughs quietly* About /everything/?!? *tilts his head and looks at him with a chuckle* Even if I don’t like the food or if it bothers me that it’s raining outside or that there’s nothing on the TV!? *laughs again quietly and puts his head down onto his shoulder* *was just about to tell Matteo that Carlos has to work when he asks about him, therefore simply nods* Exactly… *then nods when he agrees with him when it comes to Jonas and Alex, cuddles a little closer to him and closes his eyes for a moment* *murmurs* Let’s wait and see… maybe the pain won’t be that bad… *pushes one of his legs between Matteo’s to be even closer to him and says after some time* Let’s try to not suppress or postpone stuff like that anymore… that was good, wasn’t it?

Matteo: *laughs slightly when he hears his examples* Definitely… I want to know everything. *buries his hand in David’s hair when he cuddles even closer* *then nods slightly* Yes, maybe… but please still take it easy and rest. *wraps his other arm around David, as well* *then nods slightly at his words* Yes… that was good… better than suppressing it… *kisses his head and closes his eyes* But now let’s just lie like this for a while… and then I want another helping of pasta casserole and for you to show me the song you found…

David: *smiles when he feels Matteo’s hand in his hair* *nods against his neck when he demands again that he rests* *murmurs into his shoulder* I’ll rest. I promise! *smiles when Matteo also cuddles closer and repeats quietly* Yes, better than suppressing it… *kisses his neck and then rubs his nose over the spot* *then relaxes and nods slightly at Matteo’s words* *murmurs quietly and with a smile* Yes, sir…

(next play)

[baby-yongbok]

𝖣 𝖨 𝖲 𝖯 𝖠 𝖳 𝖢 𝖧

Husband!911 Operator!Bang Chan 𝗑 Afab!Reader

♡ Genre - Angst ♡ Word Count - 1.3k ♡ Summary - Chan has heard a lot of calls being a 911 operator but this is one that he never wanted to experience. ♡ Warnings - Themes of home invasion, Mention of guns [Please read responsibly. This is an emotional fic.] ♡ a/n - I wrote this after watching an episode of S.W.A.T 😭This fic is not proof read.

✧ Masterlist ✧

He hasn’t been on the night shift since your daughter was born. He liked to spend the nights with Nara when she was first born. He liked to come home to her drooling smiles and gleeful giggles after answering calls all day. He never knew what he’d get when he answered the phone. It could be something small like a cat being stuck in a tree but it rarely ever was. He was on a never ending loop of talking people down during one of their most anxious moments. Something that he hoped he would never have to do for you.

“Ma’am, please try to stay calm. Can you repeat your address please?” Chan was laughing with Changbin, dimples on full display until he heard his co-worker repeat the address she was given. He dropped the water bottle in his hand, immediately turning on his heels and making his way behind her to look at the screen.

“Is there anyone else in the home?” It’s his address on the screen. You on the phone. There’s someone in the house with you and his daughter. Changbin comes up behind Chan, peering at the screen with curious eyes that widen quickly. “Is your daughter with you?”

“Chan.” His friend lays a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to pull him out of his shock but it’s no use. He’s too busy trying to hear your voice over the noisy office. Too busy trying to find out if you’re okay. 

“There are officers on the way ma’am just stay put okay?” Chan is tapping his co-worker before he can even process the action. She looks back at him with furrowed brows but her features soften once she realizes who it is. She knows that address, she knows it’s his.

“Give me the headset.” His voice betrays him as it wavers towards the end of the final word but the woman in front of him knew better than to question his request. She hands it over quickly and Chan puts it on with shaky hands. “Ma’am? My name is Chan and I’m going to stay with you through this, okay?”

“Chan?” He can hear the fear in your voice, the timbre shakes like glass windows in a storm and he swears that in that moment he could shatter. “Baby, please tell me it’s you. Please.”

“It’s me. I’m here.” Changbin takes it upon himself to coordinate with the call operator to track the units. He sprints through the office to his desk in hopes that his inquiry will speed up the process. In hopes that it’ll help save you. “Where’s Nara?”

“She’s in her hiding spot.” You mumble through tears, hushed sobs puffing past your trembling lips. “He has a gun, Channie.”

Chan’s eyes squeeze shut, brows furrowed as he tries his best to keep his cool. He wants to run to you, he wants to kill the guy who had the gall to break into his house. He wants to hold you and Nara and tell you that it’ll all be okay. “So do you.”

“His is bigger.” You quip, hopelessness tingeing the corners of your words. “How long until someone gets -” You’re cut off by the sound of heavy footsteps creaking against the hardwood of the main hallway. 

“Baby, please talk to me. I need to know that you’re okay.” He’s squeezing the edge of the desk as he waits for you to reply but all he hears are the shallow breaths that you’re desperately trying to hold. “Eta?” He asks over to his co-worker sitting below him.

“Three.” Chan’s eyes scan the screen with the call transcript, he’s staring. Waiting for your words to pop up. 

“Is he in the room with you?” His jaw is clenched and his tongue feels heavy with every word but the silence on your end speaks louder than any words that could come out of your mouth. “Baby, listen to me. I need you to stay as still as possible, okay? Don’t move unless you have to.”

You’re quiet, heaving breaths are the only sign that you haven’t been disconnected. The only sign that you’re alive. Chan runs a hand through his hair as his next sentence weighs on the heavy muscle in his mouth. “I love you, okay? I love you and I love Nara with -” 

His voice cracks as tears threaten to fall. He breathes them back, standing up straighter and trying his best to not let the damn behind his eyes break. “I love both of you with every ounce of my being. You’re going to be okay, the police are right around the corner but I need you to put down the phone.”

A sob catches in your throat and the heavy boots roaming your bedroom stop for a second. You watch the shadow from under the closet door with wide eyes. “I need you to hold the gun with two hands, just like I taught you okay? I need you to be ready in case -”

He’s interrupted by a sudden thud followed by frantic rustling. “Hello?” He can hear you, he can hear you breathing. He can hear your frantic movements then he can hear your screaming, your struggling.

“Y/n?” He’s panicking, shattering into a million pieces as he listens in on the other line. “Where the fuck are they?” Changbin runs up behind Chan, his hand returns to its earlier spot as he reports what he knows. 

“They’re outside, they’re there.” Chan’s gaze falls back to the screen, the green glowing transcript is unmoving on your part. It’s empty apart from the sound of your screaming. 

“Baby, I need you to fucking fight.” Tears are falling from his eyes, he’s redder than hot iron and his heart is shaking like a leaf in his chest. 

“Chan!” You’re screaming. Screaming his name, begging him for help and he’s not there. Your sobs are loud, rippling through the receiver accompanied by more rustling. He can hear the grunts of the assailant as he fights you but they’re easily drowned out by the sound of police sirens echoing through the air. 

“Fight, do you hear me?” He’s practically yelling into the headset. Eyes shut tight as he focuses on every single sound until he hears the one that he was dreading. It echoes louder than any scream he’s ever heard. He’s cold as soon as he registers the gun fire, his eyes fly open as he’s swallowed by the silence on the other line. It’s loud, once again louder than any words could be.

“Y/n?” His mind is running wild. His thoughts are swallowing him whole, wrapping him up in a darkness that he never knew could exist. Who fired that shot? “Baby?” His shaky voice is nearly a whisper, a desperate whisper with a hidden plea that you’ll answer him. 

Everything is still around him, time seems to evaporate as he counts the seconds without hearing your voice. Selfishly, he finds himself missing the screams. At least then he was sure that you’re alive, at least then he -

“Channie.” Your trembling voice rings through the receiver and Chan straightens up like a flower towards sunlight. “He’s dead.” 

Chan unravels in an instant. Tears run down his blushed cheeks like a free flowing river and the shards of his heart decorating his insides glisten in the hope of being put back together. “I fought for you.” His hands form fists in his hair as Changbin soothes his friend that best that he can. 

“You did great, baby.” He chokes out through sobs, trying his best to sound strong for you. Trying to be as strong as you’re being now. He listens as your daughter runs to you with tear stained cheeks and quivering lips that you kiss over and over again as you hold her close to your shaking frame. 

“Chan.” You mumble. “Please come home.”

He does his best to collect himself. He wipes his tears and tries to breathe normally. He blinks away the heartache lingering in his stomach and the anger multiplying in his chest. He fights it all away for you. He fights it all away just so you can hear him say this.

 “I’m coming to you, right now. I'm coming.” 

Thank you for reading! I hope that you enjoyed!

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[n0stalgicv0id]

Oh no, not at all ! I don’t think it’s foolish, it’s important to take care of one’s self, more than anything really- I mean it depends because I tend to forget about myself whenever I care about someone but that’s a story for another day 🍓

Lolita is definitely one of the most iconic books of the 20th Century- No one can read it without feeling a churning in their stomach whether Nabokov’s message is clear to them or not, even though I have a hard time believing some people think that the author himself is a pedophile and not writing from the POV of one- As for Oscar Wilde, he’s definitely a man I would fall for. As he once said "I have nothing to declare but my genius." To declare something of the sort during your own trial you can’t be anything BUT a genius really ! I do consider it a real blessing ! I’ll be more than happy to send you some pictures of it, but I can’t really do it while anonymous so If you want me to I can send you a direct message with them ! This book is so precious to me, I’m never letting it go for anything in the world 🍓

It does feel like pen paling in a way, how fun !! I haven’t written letters to anyone in so long, it’s rather strange but comforting to do so ! I wonder what your artwork is like, it’s odd you’re telling me this because I used to study something similar myself since I was in Art school. Can’t divulge too many details about myself on here but I really do feel you- I definitely need a bit of luck right now but it’s okay, I’m currently managing with my broken umbrella ! It doesn’t help that I’m a very buoyant and dynamic person which makes it so that I move around a lot and I don’t really pay attention to potential dangers and situations where I can break something by accident- I try though 🍓💔 Hope your day is going well ! I’m sorry about your poor umbrella by the way, maybe it’ll find its way back to you, who knows really ?

I used to care more about others than myself but at some point I just couldn’t anymore, I hate when people don’t care about me like I do with them. So I started enjoying my moments of loneliness. I still meet with friends but I prefer to keep everything pretty private with them.

Indeed, I love Oscar Wilde exactly for that reason. He’s so sassy and it’s funny, he had a really peculiar humor. Send me a dm, I don’t mind! I’m really curious to see those pics. Also, was that a vintage shop? Cuz I’d be really curio to know the name if they have an online shop. Oh and in Portugal there’s this popular library, Libreria Lello, I’ll take some nice pics for you if I have the opportunity. From what they told me it’s pretty packed so I don’t have much fate in that. I can just hope.

Please stay focused while walking, you have your head in the clouds. I can portray you being that type of person. And don’t catch a cold!

Update: Forgot to mention that I think you’d love “Capolavoro” by Il volo, it’s an italian song but probably you can find the translation

[willows-writings]

‼️This post is part of a choose your own adventure series and is not meant to be read stand-alone. Click HERE to go to the masterlist and Chapter beginnings‼️

♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

Keep kissing him

Chapter 2

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You shrugged off your concerns and melted into the kiss. Josh’s hand trails down your scalp till it rests at the base of your neck and his other hand moves up to grip your hip. The next time the two of you draw away for breath Josh quickly and effortlessly flips the two of you so now it is your back against the bed. You let out a breathy laugh and place both of your hands on the sides of his face before kissing him again. 

His hand that was previously on your hip moves under your (technically his but whatever) shirt and you shiver at the coldness. You run your hands over his shoulders and he breaks the kiss to eagerly sit up and pull his jacket off before tossing it somewhere in the room. His hands are starting to trail towards the waistband of your pants before a noise sounds from outside the room causing the two of you to break apart and look up. 

“Fuckkk” Josh whispers and rest his face in the crook of your neck “Something definitely just broke.” You groan as his warm body lifts off of yours and he starts to walk to the door. You can tell all the tension you just spent hard work (making out) getting rid of has come back.

“Hey,” he turns to your voice “what if… we just stay here tonight? I mean tension in the group is still running high, there’s a good chance everyone else will stay split off or just go to sleep. We could make hot chocolate and popcorn? Watch a movie? I got a few of those horror films you like downloaded on my computer? It’ll be fun!” You know at this point you're rambling but you can see his face softening the more you talk. 

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” He briskly walks over to you so he can plant a dramatic kiss on your forehead. When he looks at you again there’s a huge smile plastered across his face. “I’ll check on everyone else and get the food and you can stay here, pulling up that movie, and just stay looking pretty for me which shouldn’t be too hard cause you always are.” He winks and you roll your eyes. “I’ll be no more than an hour, maybe get some rest, it’ll be a long night.” He says the last part while walking out the door in a sing-songy voice. 

“And you know Chris told me about that snow angels comment from earlier.” He leaned back in the room, his interest peaked. “That will not be happening.”

Josh lets out a laugh as he closes the door behind him.

The door closes behind him and you lay back onto the soft pillows, he’s right, a nap would be nice right about now. You close your eyes and let sleep overtake you.

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Ending of Chapter 2

You got: Ending #2

Chapter 3: Beginning #2 (coming soon!)

OBaC Masterlist

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So you chose all the freaky options. It’s ok I don’t blame you. If anyone is curious, the snow angels comment Josh would make in this story implies Chris is the one who wants to make snow angels with Ash. Not him, he is happily taken by you and would gladly make them with you instead. This chapter is so freaky I’m sorry 😭 but on par for Josh and his freaky antics.

For anyone confused when this takes place it’s around the time Mike and Jess are walking to the cabin, and before Josh goes with Chris and Ashley. Sam failing to turn the heater on alone was the noise.

[na-ta-sh-aa]

This chapter was so full of emotion, it was so intense, touching and beautiful!

“I don’t wanna be sick,” Ella cried as Y/N held the pink basin in front of her.”

“Just let it out,” Y/N rubbed her back, “Let it out, baby. You’ll feel better.” She grimaced as the scent of vomit filled the air, Ella’s small body nearly convulsing as she puked, “It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay, baby.” Y/N kept repeating sweet nothings to Ella as she emptied the very limited things in her small stomach. Her weight loss has become more evident by her protruding collarbones and ribs. Jake was almost scared to pick her up these days, worried that he’d break her.”

Poor little Ella. I found it so sweet and yet full of pain the way shy!Wifey held the basin for Ella while she tried to reassure her. Also you wrote Ella's weight loss and Jake's fear in such a realistic way, really well written.

“I know what is best for my child. You are pumping her full of toxins that are making her throw up and lose weight. If she wants a sugar cookie, I’m going to let her have a sugar cookie. At least she’s eating something. . .” She rolled her shoulders back as she mumbled, “And keep my husband’s name out of your mouth.” 

I felt so bad about the way shy!wifey was treated in this part, as if everything she does is wrong. Surely Dr. Thomas knows what she's saying and says it for Ella's good but I think she could definitely have said it in a more understanding tone and definitely without bringing up Jake. Shy!wifey is already facing a terrible situation she doesn't need any more stress given especially by Dr. Thomas.

“Jake,” Y/N called out, her voice barely above a whisper. He stopped in his tracks, not daring to look down the hall at her, “Stay with me,” She looked at him, “Please.” Unshed tears shone in her eyes.”

I think she had every reason and motivation to want Jake by her side. After everything she had to go through during the day, without forgetting all the previous difficulties and suffering, I think it is normal that she wanted to be with Jake, who is still the love of her life, the man who probably knows her best than anyone else, with whom she has faced and is facing different situations and with whom she has an intimacy and connection that she does not have with anyone else.

“Jake groaned, grabbing her face and crashing his lips to hers. The familiar taste of her chapstick, something that hadn’t changed over the past three years. Her hands went to his hair, pulling on his blonde locks as his hands roamed her body, walking her backwards until they both landed on the bed. Y/N moaned as Jake’s lips landed on her neck, sucking and biting gently. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t dreamed of having his lips on her skin again.”

I loved this part so much, the way they both know their bodies so well, their joy at being able to touch each other and be so close again and how even though time has passed there are things that haven't changed.

“A hiss left Y/N’s lips at the unfamiliar feeling of being stretched. Jake knelt down on his elbows, caging her head in between his arms.”

“Look at me,” Jake whispered. Y/N’s eyes fluttered up to his green ones, “Breathe, I got you. I won’t hurt you.”

This part was so sweet, the way Jake told and reassured her that he wouldn't hurt her reminded me a lot of their first time together, how Jake took care of her.

“Neither one could remember the last time they had sex like this. Raw, emotional, full of passion. The two of them pawed and pulled each other as close as possible. Their lips swallow one another’s moans and cries of pleasure.”

You managed perfectly to convey all their emotions. I'm very curious to see if the fact that they spent the night together will improve their relationship a little by starting to bring them closer together or if it will distance them again.

“I’ll go to the support group.” 

I think it might be good for her to talk about how she feels with someone.

I loved reading this. I always find it so interesting how different details are added to each chapter and how you get to explore Jake and Shy!wifey more and more individually as well as their relationship. Your ability to write is truly amazing, I love reading all of your work. This was truly another beautiful chapter!💗

Are You With Me? | Chapter 4

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synopsis: Y/N wakes up from the same reoccurring nightmare since Ella had been diagnosed. Some parts of what Jake did during the divorce come to light. Jake and Y/N cross a line.

word count: 4.3k

warnings: medical inaccuracies, nightmares, traumatic events, vomiting, divorce, fighting, cursing, childhood cancer, child character death (not graphic), smut, unprotected sex, mentions of cheating

“She’s not breathing,” A constant beeping sound filled the air as doctors and nurses came running into the small hospital room. Y/N was pushed out of the room, left to look at the action from behind a plate glass window. However, the doctors and nurses didn’t spring into action like she had seen them do when rushing into other childrens’ rooms. They stood there, watching as the child struggled to breath. 

“Do something to help her!” Y/N yelled, pounding her fists against the glass, but it was as if it fell on deaf ears. Doctors and nurses crowded the hospital bed as the small girl lay there unmoving. Tubes and wires covered her body as the obnoxious long tone filled the air.

“Do something! She’s dying!” Y/N yelled again trying to move her spot to get to the little girl, her feet were stuck where they were, “Help her!”

“Time of death,”

“No! My baby! No!”

“Nine thirty six.”

“No! Ella!”

Her body nearly collapsed to the floor, but strong arms wrapped around her, holding her up. She fought against the hard body, wanting to get to her daughter and hold her. The doctor pulled the white sheet over Ella’s head as Y/N continued to thrash in the strangers arms.

“Let me go! Let me go!”

“Y/N, you’re alright.”

“No! Let. Me. Go.”

“Y/N! Wake up!”

With a jolt, she sat up in bed. The cold grip of fear still around her heart, making it beat erratically. A thin layer of sweat covered her body, as her hair stuck to the back of her neck. It took a moment for her to get her bearings, finding herself in the same room she had laid down in, and her ex-husband sitting next to her on the bed. Jake had turned the lamp on, coating them in a warm orange glow. 

“Are you alright?” Jake asked, taking in the sight of his bewildered wife. He wanted to reach out and pull her into his chest, but he had earned an elbow to the face trying to attempt it earlier. 

Y/N nodded her head, not trusting her voice at the moment. Her throat felt dry, presumably from screaming in her sleep. She sucked in a couple of breaths, feeling her heart beat slow to a steady rhythm. She was no stranger to nightmares, especially after Ella got sick. The haunting sound of asystole alarms and the cries of grief stricken parents kept her awake at night. 

“What time is it?” She asked, her voice hoarse.

“Two twenty.”

“And the kids?”

“Still asleep, but, Y/N…” Jake swallowed, “Have you thought about going to that support group Doctor Thomas suggested?”

Y/N scoffed, flinging back the covers and swinging her legs over the side of the bed, “No,” She stood up, walking towards the bathroom to get a drink of water, “Don’t need it.”

Jake stood up from the bed, walking over to the bathroom door, leaning against it. Y/N splashed some cool water on her face, before filling up the cup she kept by the sink. Jake couldn’t help but take in the sight of her pajamas; a white tank top and a pair of his old plaid boxer shorts. He could remember when she stole them from him when she was about seven months pregnant with Alex, “It might help you sleep better if you talk to someone.”

“Oh, like you did?” Y/N knew it was a low blow the moment the words left her mouth.

The divorce had been finalized for two years and Y/N always used Jake’s affair as a deflection tactic. When she didn’t want to talk about herself or anything that was bothering her, she always brought up the affair. Jake had learned to ignore it over the past couple of years.

“Look,” Jake ran a hand through his sleep tousled hair, “I know I messed up and didn’t do things right in the past, but I am now. The group is really helping me get through this.”

Y/N looked up at Jake in the bathroom mirror. It wasn’t the first time he has brought up therapy. Hell, even Miles had suggested it once before but it was quickly brought down. Y/N didn’t want to sit in a circle with other parents of sick kids and listen as they tried to one up each other with who’s kid is the sickest.

Y/N grabbed a quick drink of water, before turning to face Jake, “Thanks for the suggestion, but I got this.” She patted his chest before walking back into the bedroom.

Jake shook his head as she climbed back in, pulling the blankets up to her chin and turning the light off, engulfing him in darkness. 

“Whatever, Y/N,” Jake pushed off of the door jam, leaving the room without another word and going back to the guest room he had been inhabiting. 

— — — 

Sleep did not come easy to Y/N after the nightmare. Hell, sleep hadn’t been coming easy to her for about six weeks since Ella got sick. She had created a strict schedule of being at the hospital when first rounds started at six am. But between the early wake-ups, the late nights making dinner and getting the kids to bed, nightmares waking her up, and now Eli’s newly developed sleep regression, Y/N was a walking zombie. 

“I don’t wanna be sick,” Ella cried as Y/N held the pink basin in front of her. 

“I know, baby,” Y/N cooed, as tears ran down Ella’s cheeks. It was the same battle every day about an hour after Ella left the chemo room. The nausea slowly creeped up in her little body until she threw up. Y/N hated when Alex would have the occasional sick day, and it was killing her seeing Ella getting sick every day like clockwork. 

“Mommy,” Ella whined as she dry heaved over the basin. 

“Just let it out,” Y/N rubbed her back, “Let it out, baby. You’ll feel better.” She grimaced as the scent of vomit filled the air, Ella’s small body nearly convulsing as she puked, “It’ll be okay. It’ll be okay, baby.” Y/N kept repeating sweet nothings to Ella as she emptied the very limited things in her small stomach. Her weight loss has become more evident by her protruding collarbones and ribs. Jake was almost scared to pick her up these days, worried that he’d break her. 

A knock sounded at the door, “Knock, knock,” The person said, “Is now a good time?” 

Y/N rolled her eyes as she sat the basin down in between Ella’s legs. It was never a good time for Doctor Thomas to barge into the room, but it wasn’t like she cared. What do you even say to a doctor when they ask ‘is now a good time?’ “No, come back later when I’m dying”? 

“Yes,” Y/N answered, but Doctor Thomas was already halfway into the room. Y/N grabbed a cool rag, putting it on Ella’s forehead and removing the emesis bucket, “How can we help you, Doctor Thomas?” 

“Just checking in,” She smiled that perfect smile that all doctors seemed to have. Pearly white, perfectly straight teeth. Doctor Thomas pulled up a chair, sitting at Ella’s bedside, “How are you, Ella?” 

The little girl pouted, “I threw up.” 

“Aw, I’m sorry,” She rubbed the back of Ella’s hand, “Today wasn’t a good treatment day?” 

“They didn’t even have sugar cookies,” Ella muttered. Y/N shook her head with a light laugh. Of course Ella was upset about the cookies. 

“You’re letting her have sweets?” Doctor Thomas asked, looking up at Y/N. 

“We’re monitoring her diet, but yes, we allow her to have something sweet to eat every once in a while. Miles said-” 

“Miles isn’t an oncologist,” Doctor Thomas said, tilting her head slightly and plastering that smile on her face. 

Doctor Nicole Thomas, oncologist, top of her class at Northwestern, top resident at the Mayo Clinic, one of the best oncologists on this side of the Missouri river, and total bitch to parents. April, the mother of Sammy, the little boy next door to Ella, shared her dislike for Doctor Thomas. She was blonde, had legs for days and breasts that seemed to be the perfect size and perky. The wives had all noticed their husbands wandering eyes when Doctor Thomas walked by. And to make matters even worse, Doctor Thomas knew Jake. . . personally. 

“If you have an issue with my daughter’s diet, please, Doctor Thomas, enlighten me,” Y/N crossed her arms over her chest. 

Doctor Thomas’s smile didn’t falter, “Things like cookies and sugary treats aren’t good for children with compromised immune systems. Over processed pre-packaged snacks or snacks full of butter and frosting. . . you want your child eating heart healthy snacks. I think Jake would agree.” 

The slip of her husband’s name from Doctor Thomas’s lips had Y/N seeing red, her arms falling down to her sides, “I know what is best for my child. You are pumping her full of toxins that are making her throw up and lose weight. If she wants a sugar cookie, I’m going to let her have a sugar cookie. At least she’s eating something. . .” She rolled her shoulders back as she mumbled, “And keep my husband’s name out of your mouth.” 

“Noted,” Doctor Thomas said, standing up from the chair. She looked down at Ella, “I hope you feel better, Ella. I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

“Bye Doctor Thomas,” Ella waved to the blonde woman. 

Before she left the room, Doctor Thomas turned around, the condescending smile still on her face, “Have you looked into that support group? I think it would really, really do you some good, Y/N.” 

Y/N scoffed, marching towards the door to rip into Doctor Thomas, but she was gone by the time Y/N stepped out into the hallway, her chest heaving. Her eyes narrowed as another familiar blonde made his way down the hall, smiling and waving to the kids and their parents as they passed. Fire burned in Y/N’s veins as she stalked down the hall, determination written on her face. 

“Hey!” She yelled as she set in on Jake, “Tell your little side piece to keep her nose out of the way I raise my child.” 

“Side piece?” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed. 

“Doctor Thomas,” Y/N sneered, “Trying to tell me what's right for my child.” 

“Our child,” Jake corrected her, “And she’s probably right. She is a doctor after all.” 

Y/N scoffed, “Of course you would side with her.” 

“Unbelievable,” Jake shook his head. He looked around, noticing the eyes of the nurses, doctors, parents and techs on them as they squabled in the hallway. He grabbed Y/N’s arm, pulling her into an alcove by the nurses’ station, “You need to get yourself together. You’re causing a scene.” 

“Me? Get myself together?” Y/N’s eyebrows rose in shock, “You’re the one screwing our child’s doctor!” 

“I didn’t screw her!” Jake snapped. 

“No,” Y/N chuckled, shaking her head, “You’re just spending late nights having secret conversations and confiding in her behind my back.” 

“Do you blame me? It’s like talking to a brick wall with you,” The hurt settled into Y/N’s chest. She wrapped her arms around her chest, as if she could protect herself against Jake’s words. He sighed, placing his hands on his hips, “Y/N. . . you need to talk to someone. You aren’t sleeping. You’re lashing out at people. Your mother called me in tears the other day because you yelled at her. This isn’t you.” 

“You don’t know what's me,” Y/N whispered, taking a step back from Ella, “I need to be with my daughter.” 

“Our daughter,” Jake corrected her again. Y/N just shook her head, walking out of the alcove and back to Ella’s room. 

— — — 

Three days had passed since Jake and Y/N’s fight in the hallway. They had been walking on eggshells around one another. Y/N had started keeping some clothes and showering in Ella’s hospital room to avoid going home when Jake was there. Jake started placing a plate of food in the microwave for when Y/N would come home from the hospital before he went to be with Ella for the night. It had all seemed to work just fine, until it came crashing down. 

Y/N was running late to switch Jake off from his night shift with Ella so he could get to work. Eli had pitched a fit about wanting to put pants on for daycare, and Alex was taking his time with packing his backpack for school. She had barely managed to get out the door on time to get the boys to school before zooming to the hospital to drop off Eli and relieve Jake. 

Jake was pacing the lobby, waiting for his ex-wife to show up. It wasn’t like her to be late without texting or calling first. The worst came to his mind as he tried to keep his heart from pounding in his chest. 

“Fuck it,” He cursed, pulling his phone out ready to call her, when the elevator dinged. 

“I’m sorry!” Y/N breathed out, “I’m so sorry. I should’ve called by Eli dumped his breakfast on his pants and Alex forget his glasses and we were running-” 

“It’s fine,” Jake huffed, “Mav has us doing classroom work. Nothing Dragon and Rooster can’t handle.” 

Y/N shook her head, “I’m just. . . I’m so sorry.” Jake’s eyebrows furrowed as he watched his normally strong partner crumble because she was fifteen minutes late. Tears welled up in her eyes as she looked at Jake, “I promise next time I’ll-” 

“Code Blue Room 310. Code Blue.” 

The speaker above them sounded out interrupting them. 

“That’s the room next to Ella’s,” Jake said, his heart coming to a complete stop in his chest. 

“April,” Y/N breathed out. 

Both of them turned on their feet, rushing down the hall as a mass of doctors and nurses went rushing into the room next to Ella’s. Y/N could see through the large bay window into the room as Miles started doing compressions on the little boy's chest, his parents standing in the corner with tears streaming down their faces. 

It was like Y/N was stuck in that nightmare again. The images of her standing outside the hospital room, looking through the window while the doctors just stood around her child. Y/N turned her head as Sammy’s chest convulsed off the bed as they shocked his heart. Jake wrapped his arm around her, his hand cradling the back of her head as she held onto his flight suit. It was like a car crash on the side of the road, Jake couldn’t look away as they shocked Sammy’s heart again. The scene went on for only a few more minutes until the loud beep of asystole sounded out from the room, as the wails of parents filled the air.

“No! My Baby!” 

“Time of death. . . nine thirty six.” 

“Sammy! No! No!” 

A sob left Y/N’s mouth, and Jake held her tighter.. The door to the room opened up, Miles being the first one to walk out, a discouraged look on his face. Y/N lifted her head meeting his sad brown eyes. It was the same look that he had given Y/N many months ago. The look of heartbreak and sorrow. 

“I’m sorry,” Miles said, shaking his head and stalking off. 

Y/N looked over her shoulder, seeing Jake’s stoic and shocked face, “W-what do we do?”

Jake looked down at her, and then back towards the room where the two parents cried over their dead son, “I don’t know. But we need to tell Ella. . . they are-were friends.” Y/N nodded her head. 

Ella was wide awake in her bed when Y/N and Jake walked into the room. She smiled at them both, but it quickly faded seeing the frowns on her parents' faces. Y/N sat on the edge of Ella’s bed, and Jake stood behind her. She took a deep breath, gathering her thoughts. They didn’t exactly cover the topic of telling your four year old child that they’re friend just died of the same cancer they have in the parenting books. Jake sensed Y/N’s turmoil, taking a step forward and grabbing her hand. He squeezed it twice, and Y/N looked up at him. She gave him a tight lipped smile before squeezing his hand back twice. 

“Ella,” Y/N started, “We need to tell you something. . .” 

— — — 

Y/N had never been so thankful to have her parents living in the same city. Clara and James were at the hospital within minutes of Y/N asking if they could stay with Ella. It had been a rough day with Ella, between trying to explain what happened to Sammy, to holding her while she threw up. It had been a day of tears and tantrums from the little girl, she didn’t want to be stuck with needles or be pumped full of medicine and neither one of her parents could blame her. Ella had fallen asleep on Jake’s chest before Clara and James arrived. 

Y/N and Jake had moved in near silence as they made dinner, bathed the boys, and put them both to bed. The mental and physical toll of the day was starting to hit them like trains. Jake was amazed by how strong Y/N had been, being able to keep a smile on her face and care for Ella. He just wanted to go home and drink the day away. 

“I’m gonna head to bed,” Jake said as they walked up the stairs. Y/N’s legs felt like bricks when she reached the top, “I called Mav and told him what happened. I got tomorrow off,” Y/N didn’t say anything as she stared at her bedroom door, “Goodnight, Y/N.” 

It was silent for a moment as Y/N listened to the creak of the floorboards as Jake walked to his room. 

“Jake,” Y/N called out, her voice barely above a whisper. He stopped in his tracks, not daring to look down the hall at her, “Stay with me,” She looked at him, “Please.” Unshed tears shone in her eyes. 

Jake swallowed thickly, “Y/N,” He scratched the back of his neck, “I don’t think that's a good-” 

Y/N shook her head, walking over to him, “Please,” She stood in front of him. She wanted to reach out and grab his hand, but refrained, “Please. . . stay with me. . . I don’t want to be alone after today.” 

Jake looked into her eyes, seeing the longing and the fear that hid behind unshed tears. Silently, Jake agreed, grabbing her hand and intertwining their fingers and lead her down the hall. He gently pushed open her bedroom door. It was just the same as it was two years ago. It was as if she was still living in a time capsule where Jake had never betrayed her. Where they were still married. Where they were still one. 

Jake walked Y/N over to her side of the bed, having her take a seat on the mattress. She watched as he moved around the room with muscle memory, opening drawers to her dresser, pulling out her normal pajamas; an oversized shirt and boxer shorts. He set them on the bed next to her, standing in front of her. 

“Can you-” 

“Help me?” They spoke at the same time. 

Every fiber in Jake’s being was telling him no. Every fiber was telling him to leave the room, to tell her that she would be fine on her own and he’d be right down the hall if she needed him. But his heart was telling him that he couldn’t leave her. Not like this. Not when she had witnessed every sick parents’ worst nightmare. Jake functioned wordlessly, as he reached for Y/N’s hands, standing her up. His hands went to the hem of her shirt, pulling it over her head. He refrained from looking at her chest, which he felt like he deserved an award for. He folded the shirt nicely placing it on the bed behind her. 

“You should probably do the um. . . pants,” Jake gestured to her lower half. 

“Jake,” She chuckled, “We were married and had three kids. You can’t take my pants off?” 

“Yes I-. . . Well you know that I can but this is. . . This is different,” Jake said. 

“Why won’t you look at me?” 

“Y/N,” Jake challenged. 

“Jake,” Y/N shot back, “Look at me.” 

Jake huffed, turning his head to look at her. It was the first time in nearly three years that he had seen her like this. His body felt like it had been lit on fire. Three years, and Y/N hadn’t aged a day. Her body was still perfect; beautiful skin, perky breasts, curves that brought grown men to their knees. Jake’s hands itched to touch her, to remember the feel of her skin beneath his palms. He felt his groin tighten at the memories of her being under him. 

“Jake,” Y/N sighed, her heart beating rapidly in her chest. She could feel the warmth radiating off of him as she took a step closer.. 

“Y/N,” He warned. 

“Please,” She begged, her eyes wide with lust, “I need you.” 

“Y/N.” 

“One night,” Y/N begged, “One night to make me forget, please.” 

Jake groaned, grabbing her face and crashing his lips to hers. The familiar taste of her chapstick, something that hadn’t changed over the past three years. Her hands went to his hair, pulling on his blonde locks as his hands roamed her body, walking her backwards until they both landed on the bed. Y/N moaned as Jake’s lips landed on her neck, sucking and biting gently. She’d be lying if she said she hadn’t dreamed of having his lips on her skin again. 

“Did he touch you?” Jake asked, his hot breath fanning her neck. 

Y/N shook her head. 

“I need to hear it, Y/N,” Jake said, looking at her, “Did he touch you?” 

“No,” Her answer was solid, “Not like this. Not ever, like this.” 

“Good,” Jake sat back on his haunches, grabbing the neck of his shirt and pulling it over his head, “Cause I don’t share.” 

Y/N’s eyes shamelessly ran down his naked torso. It was obvious that Jake took care of his body. She remembered all those mornings of waking up to him playing music in the garage turned home gym. But seeing his sculpted body up close again, sent her into a frenzy as she reached out for him, pulling him back down against her. The two of them kissed passionately, hands roaming each other’s bodies, trying to pull one another as physically close as possible. Clothes ended up scattered around the room until they were bare in front of one another. 

“Are you sure?” Jake asked, placing himself in between Y/N’s legs. His cock was hard and leaking, aching for some sort of relief. Y/N’s eyes wandered down his body, a shiver running through her body. 

“Please,” She reached down and grabbed his cock, guiding it in between her legs, “Please, fuck me, Jake.” 

Jake nodded his head, replacing Y/N’s hand with his own. He ran it over her folds, before gently pushing the head into her opening. A hiss left Y/N’s lips at the unfamiliar feeling of being stretched. Jake knelt down on his elbows, caging her head in between his arms. 

“Look at me,” Jake whispered. Y/N’s eyes fluttered up to his green ones, “Breathe, I got you. I won’t hurt you.” Y/N nodded her head as Jake grabbed her thigh, guiding it over his hip, pushing into her a bit more. They both let out a gasp as Jake bottomed out, his hips flush against hers. He waited a moment, letting them both get used to the feel of one another. 

“Jake,” Y/N placed both hands on his cheeks, “Move. Please.” 

Jake complied moving his hips back ever so slightly and then pushing back into her. The painful stretch of Jake’s cock in her pussy slowly faded away until pleasure filled her body. Jake’s grunts filled the air, as he sped his hips up, and hit all the right places. Y/N dug her nails into his back, surely leaving angry red marks down the skin. 

Neither one could remember the last time they had sex like this. Raw, emotional, full of passion. The two of them pawed and pulled each other as close as possible. Their lips swallow one another’s moans and cries of pleasure. Jake brought Y/N to the brink of orgasm twice, before cumming inside of her. He collapsed on her chest, their heartbeats erratic but still beating in time. 

The two of them had cleaned each other up in near silence, both scared of even talking about what had transpired between them. Y/N laid on her side of the bed, far away from the door, wrapped in Jake’s arms, her head on his chest. She gently traced over the tattoo on his pec, the gentle cursive of her name. She had noticed the other day that he still had her initials tattooed on his ring finger. 

“I’ll do it,” Y/N mumbled. 

Jake furrowed his eyebrows, looking down at his wife, “Do what?” 

Tears filled her eyes, as she looked at him, “I’ll go to the support group.” 

Jake gave her a sad smile as he bent his head down, placing a feather soft kiss on her lips, “Goodnight, Y/N.” 

“Goodnight, Jake.”

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[shadowlineswriting]

Rowling

I’m going to handle J.K. Rowling in two posts. She’s most known for creating the Harry Potter universe, of course, but she also wrote a realistic fiction novel after the initial HP series was done. It’ll be much easier to reflect on the two stories in separate blogs. 

So, Harry Potter. I had a complicated relationship with HP growing up. You see, it was written for my generation (meaning my age group was the first to experience the initial novel). All of my classmates were reading it when it came out. However, I was not allowed. My parents weren’t familiar with it and were concerned, I think, that I’d read HP and believe magic was real. As such, when it was on my Battle of the Books reading list in fifth grade, I was not given permission to read it and consequently had to sit out the part of the Battle that asked the HP questions.

Naturally, all this did was make me insanely curious about the books, especially since they just kept coming out (there are seven in the original series). By the time I’d reached high school it was all anyone could talk about whenever books and movies came up (by then, the first five books and the first three movies had been released). 

My family took a week-long trip to see some friends, and their kids showed me the first three movies (in the middle of the night when the adults were asleep, of course). I was instantly hooked (I defy you to find an 8-14-year-old who loves literature but hates HP). Having seen the first three movies, I was determined now to read the books, even if that meant defying my parents.

I read the first five books at school during study hall and lunch. My friend Caleb would loan them to me and I kept them in my locker to ensure my parents didn’t see a copy in our house. By the time this adventure was done, the sixth book had also come out and the fourth movie was hitting theaters. I really, really wanted to see it, and in my defense, at that point I’d told my parents that I’d read the books (I guess I figured that was a time when it was better to ask forgiveness than permission, since they couldn’t do anything about it by then). Therefore, my dad agreed to go with me to see the fourth movie. My little sister came, too (I have no idea why) and she got so scared by Voldemort that Dad had to take her outside the theater while I sat inside finishing the movie.

Anyway, since everything was out in the open by then, I was able to finish the seventh book when it came out my junior year. I was not allowed to attend the Barnes & Noble midnight launch party with my friends, but my friends were very nice and let me borrow a copy once they were done with it (which, given that it seemed like the whole world was waiting for the last book to come out, was pretty quick). That day I remember teachers giving up completely on getting anyone to pay attention. One of my teachers didn’t even try--she just let us read the books right there in class, I guess knowing that no one would concentrate until we knew whether Harry or Voldemort won the day.

I love the Harry Potter books for the same reason I respect the Twilight books: Rowling did something that no author had ever done. She created something unique that became its own world. To this day, the HP universe is still the highest-grossing literature series of all time and Rowling is the only author to ever break $1 billion (if you Google a list you’ll see that another author pops up, but her money came from inheritances, not book sales, so in my view Rowling wins that contest).

We also own three of the side novels: The Tales of Beedle the Bard, Fantastic Beasts & Where to Find Them, and Quidditch Through the Ages. I’m not a huge fan of fictional supplemental literature, but these are very small--novellas, really--and they’re all first editions, so of course we’re going to keep them.

Say what you will about the story itself, I think it is impossible to respect storytelling and not give Rowlling credit for this incredible thing that she created. It’s on my bucket list to go to Harry Potter World someday, and I honestly cannot wait! 

I have mixed emotions about the fact that HP will next be turned into a seven-series TV show, but I have high hopes. A TV series will give room to stay true to the books in a way the movies never could (they had to cut SO much), but then again, they could really mess this up.

Guess we’ll see! 

[furubaycrossing]

just a lil book chat under the cut for anyone interested (I’m gonna be ranting a lil bit)

ok first off for anyone that has previously seen any of my posts regarding books I do enjoy a good smutty read from time to time and this summer I downloaded a bunch of books for my vacation (rip z library) and one of them happened to be The Never King by Nikki St-Crowe. The whole idea of it being a Peter Pan and the Lost Boys retelling really piqued my interest

Since then I’ve read all three books that have been released so far in the series: The Never King, The Dark One, and i literally just finished reading the third one, Their Vicious Darling

typically I like a good smut with plot and fantasy and I’m not usually one to turn my nose up at some “dark romance/themes” as long as the plot can support it and it’s done well

overall the writing was ok, there were a lot of plot holes that bothered me and I didn’t mind the whole reverse harem aspect of the plot line involving the main character, who is a descendant of Wendy Darling, Peter Pan, two Fae Princes and the “dark one” (I feel like there aren’t enough reverse harems out there as it is tbh 🤷🏼‍♀️)

And I was really intrigued by the plot overall however I do feel like the books could’ve been longer and better hashed out. Each novel was incredibly short to the point of frustration and it felt like there was a lot missing. I also feel like the entire series could’ve been handled and written a lot better. I get when it usually comes to smutty books and literotica in general, most often than not we’re dealing with straight up porn with plot but I just feel like the plot was kind of glazed over. So much could’ve been done with it without cutting out the raunchy bits and it just… wasn’t and it kind of fell flat for me but I’m not the type to stop reading a series mid way through. I was still interested in how it would all play out so I stuck through it

now aside from all that, my biggest gripe and issue with the whole series (and anyone who has read it and felt the same way will most likely agree) was the age of the main character. Although the main character is eighteen, she just turned eighteen at the start of the series and here she is having all this really crazy wacky raunchy sex with these immortal characters which are described to be young men but still. The consent is there and she’s a-okay with everything going on and she’s all about female empowerment and she enjoys sex which is great!!! we love that! But why did she have to be so young?????? I’m assuming the target audience for this series is a bit older, early to mid-twenties and up so why eighteen????? why couldn’t she have been made to be older? I get that the whole point of the plot is that she gets stolen away by Peter Pan on her eighteenth birthday like all the Darling’s before her but i truly believed her age could’ve been handled differently and I honestly think it would’ve only made the plot more interesting. Why not twenty-something or even just twenty??? she was already written as supposedly “different” from all the other Darling’s and her mom did all sorts of awful things to her to keep her hidden from Pan (as written by the author), why couldn’t the author work with that a bit more and use it to her advantage??? maybe they could’ve managed to evade Pan for a few more years and then she finally got caught and then we could’ve proceeded with the canon storyline??? that would’ve been so much more interesting story-wise. but anyway it just left a bad taste in my mouth. I get that it’s fiction but regardless she didn’t have to be so young. I just pretended she was older as I read the series tbh. It was the only way I could digest it

also Peter Pan is meant to be a child who never wants to grow up???? why is he a sex crazed animal now???

ok that’s it !

[chuyasthighs0]

i have a request, can you please do Nikolai, Sigma, fyodor, Dazai, tecchno notice Medusa tattoo on the reader body but they don't know what it means so they search by their own and find out and rest you know. Thank you

Absolutely,for those who don’t the Medusa tattoo is a symbol of strength for SA survivors.

Also note if you do have this tattoo please know that you are strong and loved,hope you are doing well

Strength is beauty

implied establish relationship

Nikolai

• He first noticed it when he saw you pull up your jumper sleeves when it got slightly warmer,revealing the tattoo of Medusa on your forearm

•It made him curious wondering what meaning it had to it

•So he went off going to do his own research

•^^He spent hours of doing it until he got a general idea of what it meant

•He started feeling more sad after finding out the tattoo’s meaning

•After understand it he would go to you and hug you whilst being way more quiet no usual “Hey Dove” or “Y/n!” being screamed

•Honestly it scared you a little of how quiet he was but yet again you liked how gentle he was being

•Petting your head and peppering kisses on the crown of it

•His hand sliding down your arm as he then stops hovering near the tattoo,it clicked

•As he looked into your eyes and asked if it was okay,you told him it was as he traced his thumb over it.

“You’re so strong my dear,you truely deserve the best out of everyone in this world.”

•You back into his eyes seeing the empathy in them,feeling the smile break on your face as tears trickle down your cheeks.

•Realising that Nikolai was there the whole time and even though the wounds are almost healed

it put your heart at ease that you weren’t alone

•That point on he always is a bit more defensive of you,his demeanour becomes more threatening if anyone tries to make you uncomfortable

Sigma

•Sigma had noticed your tattoo when he accidentally walked into you changing your shirt only catching a glimpse of it being on your stomach before he immediately apologised and shut the door quickly

•But is made you wonder why you would have that tattoo so of course he went off researching

in the spare time between work and you

•He’ll be on his computer researching the tattoo and more about Medusa,he wants to fully understand it

•It’ll be a couple of later when you guys are both off work,he’s more close and always asking more times than usual if he could be affectionate

•You could tell something was up with him but brushed it off but when it came to the end of the day you realised why he was like this

•You were about to shower and had call him over to help unhook your bra but you see his gaze through the mirror looking down at your stomach and at the tattoo

•His eyebrows knit as you could tell he was mustering up the words

“I love you and if you need to talk about it at all I’m always here.”

•Afterwards he uses more of his authority if anyone tries anything against you especially when it’s in his casino

Fyodor

•Fyodor first caught glimpse of it was when he was about to go off somewhere and he was kissing the back of your hand.When he did he saw the tattoo peeking out from the under your long shirt sleeve

•And the thought it remained in his mind for ages

•So when he had free time and wasn’t off planning devious things,he started his research

•^^He had an idea of who Medusa was to begin with,he would research the symbolism behind the tattoo

•To make sure he full understand also went out to various libraries,reading through books

•So when he got back from his travel,seeing you in the kitchen with your sleeves rolled up whilst you cook

•Not noticing him coming up from behind and hugging you

•The way you greet him with such a smile on your face makes him think how this world is too cruel,although he comes off as sinister your probably one of the only people he hold dearly

•He won’t be obvious that he knows and will always keep an eye on you and if he can’t he’ll have Nikolai or Sigma to do so for him

•Maybe just maybe his plans for the future alter

Dazai

•A man who’s also depicted to be lazy and indulges heavily into his curiosities a lot this is another one of those moments.

•He’s at home due to the summer heat and somehow he convinced you to stay after whining for so long

•After his little “tantrum” as you could put it you came out wearing a tank top and shorts with your hair tied up,deciding to do some housework while you get the chance

•Not noticing Dazai’s intense stares into your back as it was the first time he saw the tattoo

and he wanted to know it’s meaning

•So he took the liberty of researching before trying to bring it up or making it obvious after all he’s working on trying to be better with his emotions since he now has you

•He clicks the first thing that comes up and his faces just goes ‘oh’

•How would such a beautiful person like yourself,be hurt so badly

•After that he becomes clingy(not that he isn’t already),hugging from behind.

•Tracing and kissing it as your laugh serenades him,now he just needs a name

Tetcho

•First time writing something about him so from what I observed(is that how I should put it).He’s really serious and focused on work and his relationship with you.

•It’s one of those rare moments when you see him due to his line of work….

•He’ll be home and see you resting on the couch while the TV is home,setting down his hat and discarding his sword somewhere.He just sits on the floor infront of you.

•Noticing the tattoo on your wrists and he just stares intensely not in a creepy way or in a work focused way but a curious one

•He then proceeds to call Jouno because maybe he’ll know something but it ends harshly with a brief “I don’t know,go look it up.”

•So he takes his advice and he gets a little confused but he’s determined to understand just for your sake

•Next morning you wake up with a “What’s their name” as you look confused,one when did he get home and two what does he mean by that

A/n:Been on hiatus due to exams but I’m back feel free to request anything that follows with my writing rules