#but idk. maybe if it haunts me for long enough I'll get it done.

[morrigan-sims]

Kora Wolf & Zara Fairweather - a brief timeline

Aka, we got a lore dump on why these two hate each other, and now I'm (even more) obsessed with them.

Set 1: Cyrohime era, late teens. [they're just teenage nuisances who hate each other but end up very close. Era ended with a blood oath.]

Set 2: Dragonfly era, mid-20s. [when everything goes to shit, Wolf is first mate and Zara is navigator. Era ended with several murder attempts and a failed sacrificial murder that backfired terribly.]

Set 3: Captain era, 40s. [Both are captains in their own rights for ~20 years. Zara's captain era ended when Wolf has Rook kidnapped. Wolf's will end when Rook kills her.]

[amialunatic]

Just trust me baby..

divider credits to @anitalenia

Based on anon request: would you be willing to write a sam fic about his first time between him and reader where she has scars from her time with a vamp nest (say she was taken a while back and that’s how she got into hunting) and she’s insecure and a little anxious with having his mouth on her body because of the way she was once treated but sam is very patient and understanding. basically just really sweet and sam is catering and talks her through it :,)

Warning: Light smut, Fingering, Sam Winchester/ Hunter!Reader, Fem!Reader, brief mention of readers time in vampire nest. 

A/N: Omg my first actual fic. I'm quite stoked to be putting it out. Nervous too. I hope you all like it. I'm starting simple and soft core ig.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.

“Hey, you awake?” Dean called from the driver’s seat. That jolted you from down the memory lane. They were returning from the hunt. It was rough. At least 10 vampires. 3 newly turned, innocent, and pain-stricken but unable to control themselves. You guys had to kill them all. Everyone sustained injuries. That was natural. You getting bitten was not. You tried your best to not get bitten as it brought back nightmares that lasted quite a while than you cared to admit.

Sharp teeth piercing you had been a routine for weeks. Until you were rescued by Bobby and the boys. They found you on the brink of death. Several weeks of hospitalization later, you were fit to hunt. You hunted alone, focused mostly on vampires. And sometimes with the boys if the targets were nests. Helping those trapped there brought you catharsis. You wanted to be the hunter you needed all those weeks. And you strived your best to be that.

As you got out of Impala to the motel you were staying, you realized how tired you were. Slumped shoulders and bitten forearms, you moved slowly to your room. In the background, you hear Dean invite Sam for a drink and he refuses. As soon as you enter the room, you get into the shower. Maybe warm water can block out the sensations, the fangs that haunt your mind when you close your eyes. It never has, but you always hope it does this time. As you get out, red from the shower, you hear a knock. Sam’s voice calls out “Hey, it’s me.”

You open the door to see him standing at the door frame all fidgety. “I didn’t think you’d be showering.” he looked unsure almost second guessing his decision.

“I was done.” You moved back as he let himself in. Awkwardly standing with his arms on the chair, brows furrowed he asks “You okay?”. “As ok as you’d be after ganking a bunch of vampires I guess” you tried to lighten the situation. But Sam was having none of that “ You got bitten”. “Yes Sam, vampires bite. That’s like their whole MO.” you poured sarcasm to derail the conversation. This enraged Sam. “Don’t downplay this” his voice raises.

Reaching your breaking point and seeing that Sam wouldn’t leave you without a confrontation, you spit out the truth “You wanna know? OK. I’m fucking tired and I’ll probably have nightmares for days." Your outburst continued as you paced the room in a dressing gown. "You wanna know how weak I am, how the thing that happened to me years ago still brings me to my knees? There you go”. These moments were always followed by tears for you. But he didn't have to know that. You move across to the window facing the half-empty parking lot and turn away, not wishing to humiliate yourself further.

You hear the shuffling of feet as you feel two large hands wrap around me. “Y/N..” his voice laced with sympathy and concern. You lean into his familiar hug, your back nestled against his chest, his warmth enveloping your core. “Sam. I..I don’t want you..guys to see me weak. I am not weak.” you sigh. Sam chuckles “Now that’s the dean-est sentiment I’ve heard you express.” you appreciated his efforts to cheer you up.

“Hey it’s not like you too to sit around and express your feelings” you counter.

He sighs “I know. Me and Dean. Not the greatest examples of sharing feelings. But..you can tell stuff to me. You know that right?” He continues. “Also I don’t think you’re weak at all. Infact you’re one of the most badass hunters for recovering and facing your fears.”

You look down with a grateful smile “Thanks Sam.” As you turn around to face him, you take in his face. His eyes look desperate. Like he is trying to convince you that he can be your safe place. That you needn’t be scared of being vulnerable. And you can’t help but place a kiss between his furrowing eyebrows. Those lines that form when he is worried. You wanted to stop those and let him convince you. To forget the pain and nightmares even for a moment.

“Kiss me”

He looked at you, slightly surprised. “Now? You sure?”.

They had made out before. But this felt different. Somehow more intense, somehow more desperate.

“Yeah Sam, kiss me. Now.”

He didn’t need more encouragement. He bend down, caught your face with his hands as he pressed his lips on to yours. Restrained strength flowed through his hands that he tried to keep in check while pure gentleness caressed your lips. He lifted you effortlessly so your faces were leveled as he continued kissing you, gently tugging your lower lip with his teeth drawing out sighs. You mindlessly tugged his flannel, wishing it’d disappear.

“Patience” He chuckles as placing you on the desk, your back against the wall. You hastily removed the buttons one by one while he untied the knot of your dressing gown in a nanosecond. Your freshly showered skin glistening with water drops stops him in his tracks. As he stares at your underwear-clad body mesmerized, he stops to notice the bite on your forearm, still fiery red, even with the ointment around it. Around your shoulder and neck were faint scars. He caresses the skin around the bite, careful not to cause you any pain. After gently running his fingers along the scars when he looks back to your eyes he only notices your fierce stare, bestowed on his eyes, his swollen lips, and his now visible body, muscular and oh so strong. How you wanted him to take you then and there.

Not wishing to drag it any longer, he starts kissing you again as you gently run your hands through the battle scarred abdomen of his. Moving down to trace a drop of water from your jaw to your neck, he presses gentle kisses coaxing you to lean back your head opening up your neck and chest in the process. He practically groans as he gently nibble across you neck connecting to your shoulder.

In a flash, you freeze and push him away. All of it happened so sudden, Sam stared at you one feet away, confused. In a moment of clarity, it dawned on him. He gently came close to you and tentatively caressed your sides. Your apologetic eyes said everything it needed to. He lifted your chin up to him.

“hey hey..baby. , it’s ok. We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to.” He looked at you concern etched in his forehead. When you remained silent he coaxed you “Baby, talk to me.”

“I’m sorry. It’s just..I..was bitten..mouths on my body.” you shudder, visions running through the back of your eyes

“ Does it bring back memories?” He gently asks

“Sometimes, I just can’t block it. I want to Sam, believe me. I want this. I want you..so bad.” I look at him desperate.

“I know. But you know I won’t do anything that you’re uncomfortable with right? We don’t have to do this at all”

“I want to. Sam. I need you.” you lock eyes with him, forehead burrowing

His eyes searched mine for any trace of hesitation. Seeing none, he reaffirms gently “Do you trust me, baby?” “I do” I whisper as I breath out.

“You can stop me whenever you need to.”

A corner of his lips curled revealing the deep dimple. “So no biting I guess?”

“Yeah, no biting.” You bit your lips slyly. “ Well not you anyway”

“I look forward to it, sweetheart” He nudge your lips again easing them apart. As the same time, his hands part your thighs as he stepped impossible close.

You feel his hands slipping the robe off you. Before long, his long fingers were moving closer to your core. His fingers slipped in to your panties and finding the wetness pooling, he groans. I met his gaze, my eyes a blend of desperation and embarrassment at being so affected by him. “Sam..”.

“I know baby” He looks at you for permission before plunging his finger in the wetness. You gasp at the sudden intrusion, your fingers never managed to reach that deep. He ease it out. And again and again until you were a slobbering mess. To add to the torturous pleasure he lifts his palm so each thrust is paired with your clit being rubbed enough to cause friction but not enough to tip over. This was agony but delicious agony.

Sam looks into your convulsing face, his features radiating nothing but the desire to please you. To make you forget, to have a moment of pleasure, away from the darkness that consumes both of you. As you almost reach the height of pleasure, he adds in yet another finger. Through your hazily closed eyes, you don't see him kneeling. Suddenly you feel his warm mouth enveloping your clit. You gasp as your eyes flew open. “Sam..Sammy..” you say tentatively.

“Trust me baby..this will feel good” his voice is laced with soothing promise.

Before you can have further doubts, pleasure blankets you and drags you up to the height of it. As he sucks and laps gently, your hands involuntarily wander through his luscious locks. Finally with a cry and grasp of his hair, you tip over. His hands and lips soothe you through the fall with barely-there touches of your slit.

“oh god..that was..” you breathe heavily through your mouth as you struggle to push words out. Sam leans over and kiss you sloppily, with a goofy smile. “it’s cute to see you all thoughless and spent”

“Sam..you little jerk” you say in amidst panting.

“Hey remember I was the one making you moan my name a moment ago. Some gratitude” he smirks.

“And I’ll make you do the same, just you wait” you rope your hands through his neck pulling him.

"Is that a threat or a promise, honey? Either way, I'm all in." He interlocks his lips with yours, the deepening kiss tasting like an invitation for round two.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.

MAybe there should be a second part! Idk. This felt long but not long enough at the same time. Please let me know if anyone would like a second part. I'll try to write one (meaning I'll probably stress over it and write it in 2 weeks)

[iwantmochisoup]

mochi soup's sappy happy crying session

i'm so sorry, please bear with me, but i really need to be super sappy rq. (it's gonna be a long one, so imma add the read more here)

i just recently hit 10k likes and lost my shit over it qwq;; i was overthinking a lot, i wanted to run away, and it kinda hit me because honestly, i don't think i deserve all this ;; like i'm just being silly on here and having fun ;;

but that aside, i have been thinking how to properly say thank you, since words are really hard for me (wow big shocker ikr lmao) but i realized it's thanks giving, despite me not being from america i saw all the love today and i thought maybe i can try, this time, to put it to words. (i'm sorry if i don't make sense at all, and honestly don't mind me honestly, i've always been super scared of talking on here but i need to ramble)

so, idk how to start this, i honestly quit art for good like 4 years ago, won't comment on it but this year i tried to pick it back up. i am so scared of people, especially online but i thought why not, so i made a lil acc on here, i wanna say i'm so lucky to have met you all and seeing people like my art, seriously it's what keeps me going. (that sounds so sappy but for what feels like the first time in my life i am genuinely being myself and i am so happy idk what to do) this is way too long of an intro...

i'm gonna start off my twin of course, it feels fitting hehe ;; so, @saltedbiscuiit you know how shit i am at words, and you know how thankful i am for you, and we talked so much about it already so i'll try to keep this short ;; i am genuinely so happy to have met you, kinda feels like it changed my life back then, it honestly hasn't been that long really, since the art trade back in july, i honestly feel like i found my other half (that's so sappy pls don't cry but i'm being honest) thank you so much for everything, you do so much for me, even if you don't know it and i am honestly so so grateful and happy. thank you so much <3 hehe, salty soup salted mochi

the next one is @cryptid-juzou we just recently met, but i fell in love with your writing, almost instantly!! you're such a great friend, and it's sm fun talking and playing games with you!! and i'm so happy and grateful to have met you!! Really, thank you so much for all you did for me and for accepting the collab! To be working with you on our thing (i won't go into detail, yk big surprise and all) honestly, i'm so so happy and i can't wait to finish it!!

next!! @k-aez !! you've been haunting me in dreams, scolding me and i still think about that raw chicken art you did. okay jokes aside, i'm so happy to have met you and i feel the need to thank you like forever for creating the server and everything you've done. you've been supporting me and pushing me to get out of my ass and kept encouraging me sm. i can't put it into words, but i will be forever grateful for everything!

big big thanks to @ohhcinnybuns, @anticidic and @ediblepandas ya'll have been feeding my brain so many good ideas and enabled some brainrot i will thank you forever for. cinny, you know how much i love your fics and your massive brain in general, i'm so happy i was brave enough back then, and did some art of your ideas, idk if i would even tried to join the server if i didn't see your reblog. rosie, you know how much i love your fics, i'm not about to fangirl in public but i'm truly thankful, you've inspired me so so much, i love with your writing, your kitsunezai au and your scream in phasmo still is the best scream ever! pandas, hehe yk i need to thank you here too! your yapping about dresses and in general talking to you is so much fun! i love your brain sm! thank you so so much for enabling me so much, and please send me more dresses, i love them all!

and, ofc i have to give big thanks the chaos trio too @thatghostinyourbog @spccts & @msshinylemon !! yes, i'm calling you that, that name is fitting, shovel fight if you disagree, losers >:3 i have to thank you three a lot, ya'll are so fun to hang around and play games with, i seriously love what you all do, be it drawing, writing or just the way ya'll yap nonstop! it's sm fun hanging out and i love how we bounce off each other so well and ya'll inspire me so much!! also tysm @nolongerforthetainted for babysitting them!! i really love your writing sm and it's always sm fun yapping with you, and also pls make more coleslaw beds!! i need them! but honestly, thank you so much, i am so happy to have met ya'll and i always look forward to talking and hang out with ya'll!!

WAAAAA THAT IS SO LONG OMG BUT!!! I also need to thank each one of you, all my moots and everyone that just takes their time to look at my art, leave a like, reblog, comment what ever really, i appreciate each and every one of you so so much! thank you all so much, from the bottom of my heart, i can't explain how much it means to me! i also want to give a lil thanks to @noakiie @nevertheblood @altruistic-meme @artsyaudience @konbupie @jellyphink & @lethargyinafishbowl i wanted to tag more but i'm so sorry but i'm too scared, really ;;;

idk how to end this, honestly, i feel like i wrote too much and rambled way too much. i guess i'm just gonna-- *runs*

WITH MUCH LOVE AND A BIG HOP STEP JUMP -mochi soup

[froggerland]

For the cold boys ask please tell me how you feel about Ned Little ❤️❤️❤️ Thank You!

THANK YOU FOR ASKING!!!

I am so normal about him you can't imagine how normal I am about that man.

Anyways:

First Impression: I think almost everyone has the same experience with this one: when you first watch the show you don't really register him for the first five episodes or so and then you either love him or are very much neutral about him. I vaguely remember the scene where he's standing next to Jopson looking like a kicked dog while Crozier yells at him and I think that's when I took note of him like "ohh poor boy let me give you a hug :(" I really fell for him in the second half of the season (first mainly bc hes pretty. Im a simple woman sometimes and im not afraid to admit it) and I cannot stress this enough how much the last scene where Crozier finds him half frozen with the chains on his face has altered my brain chemistry. That was the fr the point where I was like "okay so I'll never be normal again EVER huh"

Impression Now: I love him. I love him so so much on so many layers. For one I need him biblically bc I believe I can fix his ass and his sad energy and big cow eyes have bewitched me body and soul. Matthew McNulty was born to sport mutton chops and look increasingly disheveled while on a death march in the canadian arctic. But I can't put into words how much I relate to him. I am him, he is me. Genuinely if I was put on that stupid expedition in his place I would've made all the same (bad) decisions. I can literally name two other characters in media I relate to and those are Kat from Euphoria (only the first season version and I think if I watched the show now I would throw her off this list) and Connel from Normal People (him just,, big time). They just don't make characters that messy, pathetic and sad very often!! Or I'm not watching enough tv to find them but when I saw Ned throughout the season I was like "wow I relate to him so much and idk what that says about me". I feel like I went on a tangent there but I love him he is such a dear. He tried so so hard to do right and keep things under control bc he hates chaos but he was just so overwhelmed and had to deal with Croziers shit for way too long (I'm trying to sound smart rn bc people have very nuanced but sometimes also kinda weird takes on his character. Believe me I see him as more than sad wet puppy man but I don't have the words in the english language to express that)

Favorite Moment: Any scene he's in ever? Duh?? No but if I had to pick one I'd say the dundy intervention when he finally tries to put a foot down to rescue Crozier but they all just dismiss him. The way his eyes water. I. Mmh. I think I'm obligated to name his last scene as well bc that one makes me cry everytime even if I just see a gif of it, it's just so haunting and so so sad

Idea For A Story: Oh. Uhmmmmm. I'm really not a writer so I can't come up with anything cool on top of my head except let Ned be happy and comfy and warm. Tuck him into bed and give him soup. That's all

Unpopular Opinion: I can't really tell what's an unpopular opinion bc I've seen basically every take ever on him from "he is a pushover how did he even get his job" to "he's actually a meanie with big time anger issues" so. Maybe that I think he would've been a good lieutenant with a different captain on a more chill cruise. He'd do very well keeping order and the respect of the crew if he didn't have to be the doormat and errands boy for his alcoholic captain while starving in the arctic. I'd dare say 99.9% of life on a ship was more chill than the franklin expedition so maybe he wasn't the best lieutenant ever but he would've done a good job if the stakes weren't THAT high

Favorite Relationship: Started as a Joplittle stan, became a Sojoplittle truther and now my favorite is Solittle. I love my two dog boys, I love how they parallel each other (they were narrative foils your honor). But honestly anything goes, everyone deserves a bite out of nedward <3

Favorite Headcanon: That animals love him. Saw that on my feed a few days ago and yeah, agreed. He's definitely a cat person and they just flock towards him (extended hc that jirv loves animals so so much but they just hate him for some reason. So when the ships cat sneaks in during meetings jirv tries to get her to come towards him but the cat's like "ew no church boy" and jumps into Ned's lap who pets her but also prays he won't get yelled at by Crozier for this)

[limetameta]

Fanfic asks for askers

1- My favorite fic of yours Riza as the Flame Alchemist!! You already know how crazy I am about it but my god, it HAUNTS me. The POSSIBILITIES!! The WRITING and THEMES! The ANGST! THE KIMBLIZA AAAAAAA

5- No specific one jumps to mind, but I like Harry Potter and your famous rarepair has interesting characters, so I’ve always wanted to try one out! With your extensive catalogue of fics about them I’m sure I’ll find something I’ll end up adoring, I’ve been keeping it as a cozy afternoon plan for when I need it

6 & 7 together: That chapter in Metallic Crimson with Edward drugged and on the verge of death. For better or for worse it’s the story beat that immediately comes to mind whenever I think about MC, my god. I am still devastated that chapter did THINGS to me Limeta you don’t understand

10- And that ties nicely with the previous question. I never expected to be interested in Kimblee & Edward as a duo whatsoever, looking back there’s def interesting material from canon to play with for their dynamic, but I just never cared fr fr. A big part of your FMA fics focus on these two’s relationship to each other and it’s so cool!!! Kimblee caring for a kid? Unheard of. Edward grappling with moral ambiguity? Unthinkable. They are so cool together and unexpectedly heartwarming and interesting to follow. Just make them hug already

8- What I like the most about your writing is a tough question, I’d say overall it’s your sense of pacing! Idk how to say it except how very well-made your fics are. The atmosphere is always on point, the humor is genuinely very fun, the prose is haunting and visceral sometimes, the imagery is often so poetic both in execution and concept, but maybe the most impressive of all is how you tie all of this up so seamlessly together! Your fics always make for very easy reads that swiftly brings u along for an adventure and that’s very cool. Oh!! Also you explore a very wide range of themes and ambiances, like there’ll be fics that are so fluffy and simple and slice of life yippee, and then next to that you’ll have a fic about how alcoholism impacts someone and one about cultural elitism and the very serious political and social issues ensuing, and it’s genuinely touching and well done and has something to say! Very interesting and in depth, coherent original worldbuilding too. You also make me care about ocs and chars I normally don’t care for, so kudos on that. Aghhhh what can I say, I’m a fan. I am playdough between your mastermind typing fingers, you can make me feel anything you intend so easily and you never fail

11- More kimbliza fluff. Make them in love. Make them be cute and sweet 🙏🙏 Also them bantering and razzing each other but I scavenge your Tumblr for those interactions snippets enough that I feel decently satiated on that front. Who else is gonna write my needed dose of kimbliza? Me? Haha you jokester you

12- I always reread a bit when I write up my long comments, but I don’t often reread fics fully. I also often bookmark your fics and write my favorite bit on it so I can go and reread those parts. But I can def see myself doing full rereads in the future too, usually I reread some fav fics every year or so. Or to get back in the kimbliza writing headspace also, your fics are def perfect for that 🙏

13- Oh yeah for sure. I don’t have many friends into FMA alas, but I force my mom whom I get along very well with to read fanfics I really like and want others to read + have someone to talk about it with lol, and lemme tell you the level of harassment I used for her to read RFA… I’m still trying to get her to read MC though -clenches fist- one day…

9- RFA please…. Please…. Plea-

Tbh I SHOULD update RFA it's just that I kind of got scared that it might be so fucked up people wouldn't like it but if Noda sensei can write a sperm fight in golden kamuy and still have me invested perhaps I, too, can have Riza Hawkeye traumatize us all just a little more than she already has.

I'll write RFA. I will!! I know how it ends!! It's just that I have to write a lot of action and I kinda suck ass at action

Miku. Miku please read Awareness if you're gonna read my HP fics. Please give that story some love it is forgotten and nobody has read it in years. I love that fic to bits. It's one of the most darling stories I've written. Is in my head rent free. I think about chapter 10 of that story almost every week.

But if you want Abraxas Malfoy then definitely read Retired Prometheus. If you want worldbuilding on par with MC? Then Retired Prometheus is for you! And luckily for you, it's finished. I mean awareness is too but RP is like chefs kiss.

All of MC began because I wanted to ask the question: what if Kimblee found Edward and Alphonse? But then the more I wrote the more I asked myself What if Edward and Alphonse got to know Kimblee?

To me their dynamic is the most fascinating in MC. That level of hidden trust between them continues to endear itself to me. Edward can say shit all he likes and Kimblee can tease him about his childishness all he likes but the both of them understand on a fundamental level that they are both deserving of respect and that they do respect each other as alchemists first and foremost and then as allies. We do get the former in Canon but the latter is interesting to further delve into. Though Kimblee did save Edward's life with Pride in Canon so!! I just built on that :D

Also miku, did you read the re-done Fullmetal Lotus? It's got 3 chapters now and like 10k more words. Definitely more of Kimblee and Ed being a duo. Plus some self indulgent Kimbliza (CURSE U MAES HUGHES U DONT KNOWNHOW DELICIOUS THE KIMBLIZA IS IN MC)

[moongothic]

MCM Shelf Saga

Part 2 - Dealing with all the small bits

[Part 1]

Not gonna lie, I've procrastinated on this project a lot this whole summer. To be fair, sometimes it was for a good reason; I had yard work that needed to be done first, sometimes it was way too hot outside for me to work, and sometimes it was really rainy and cold. But also often I just did not feel like it.

I dunno, there were a lot of small bits to this project that needed to be dealt with and I guess it kept on like, mentally overwhealming and scaring me so much that I just kinda wanted to pretend the shelf wasn't even there. Even though it was totally haunting me at the back of my mind the whole time

But slowly and surely I have worked at this god forsaken project, so let's take a looksie at the progress and where we're at!

So after I finished the main unit it was time for all those small parts of the shelving unit to deal with

I decided to start with the drawers, slapping some of that nasty paint stripper on them and I got to stripping them

It was a bit difficult to do because you want to strip and sand with the grain of the wood, but when scraping you kinda wanna do big/long motions from one end of the drawer to the other. Like small movements on a tiny surface (where you need to be careful not to damage the edges) are much harder to do. So this was a bit frustrating to deal with

I do have to admit that I didn't take enough breaks while working on stripping these drawer fronts, I wanted to get them done as fast as I could so I ended up working too long. And when you work too long, you get sloppy, and by sloppy, I mean "I damaged the veneer kinda bad on the last drawer" (left side, you can kinda see it in the photo)

But it is what it is, mistakes were made

Once done scraping I spent some time sanding the drawer fronts down by hand and even brought out my sander to clean up the paint from the sides and the bottoms (since the paint had spread beyond the fronts but didn't come off with the stripper. The wood was raw on those sides so it's probably gotten absorbed wood. Couldn't get it all out but the sander helped for sure)

Not gonna lie I had completely forgotten to take a photo of the drawers immidiately after I finished working on them, once done I just put them back into the unit to get them out of the way while I'd work on other shit. And I'm working on other shit rn and I didn't want to take them out for this photo so there they are, reunited in the unit if only temporarily

Need a little bit more work done to get the handle grooves cleaned up nicely but aside from that they did clean up pretty nicely

After I finished working on the drawers, it was time to move on to the next part; the sliding door

Once again, globbed paint stripper on it, did two treatments since the primer was quite thick and I didn't even want to try to scrape it off without the stripper removing most of it first. First photo is the before of the first treatment, second photo isthe after, third photo is the before for the second treatment.

The stripper did help remove the paint, but the original finish was still on there and I did have to spend a lot of time scraping and sanding that off

After many hours of work what we finally got was

Pretty good actually

Like it actually cleaned up pretty neatly! Now I did try to get the handles cleaner than that but I just couldn't get them better than that for the life of me. I am planning on staining this whole thing black though, so I'm kind of hoping that whatever remains of that original black accent will just blend into the new finish (though I'll try to sand it down a little more later, again, when I go do the finishing touches and fine sanding)

(For the record I don't know which side is supposed to be up and which down on the door, like I'd assume the "arrow" pattern on the veneer maybe should point down but also on the drawer fronts the arrow points up soooo IDK)

With that done though, we got to the most frustrating part of the shelf

Ṱ̷͗H̶̺͘E̵̬̕ ̵̫̊ S̸̙̕H̵̓͜É̶̹L̵̻̆V̶̖͂Ẻ̵̟S̸̗͛

Like no, technically speaking stripping and cleaning up these boards wasn't that hard. It was in fact, same as always, yeet paint stripper on it with plastic wrap, leave it over night, remove the wrap and the flaking paint, repeat the treatment another time, this time put more effort into removing whatever remains of the paint after the second round of stripper

It's just that I had to do this six fucking times

Once for each side of the three boards

Like I can't put into words how like... daunting it felt. So frustrating because it felt like I'd never be done with it. And this is where my procrastination got worst without a doubt

After I was done just stripping the paint (I did run out of paint stripper so I only did one treatment on the second side for each board), I just figured

I wanted to make this a lil easier and faster

So I pulled out the orbital sander

And it worked pretty decent. I did still have to use my scraper here and there because the old finish was hanging on pretty securely and it was hard for my sander to eat through it, but with a little scraping and some sanding I did manage to get some shit done

But I must admit. I did eat through the thin ass veneer in a few spots. Quite small spots, but a few spots. I'm saying this because while I could've spent more time trying to get the wood to look more even in color, I did not want to risk damaging the veneer any more than I had already

So it looks a bit blotchy, yeah

But it's good enough (and a new finish will/might hide some of the blotchiness once I get to it)

That said, there was another frustration. There were places where the paint had seeped into the wood and slightly stained it, or it had gotten absorbed into the chipboard, or filled small cracks in the wood. So despite my best efforts, there are small bits of paint still visible in some places, places where I couldn't get it out

I do still have to do fine sanding on this whole thing, fill out veneer chips etc, so I'll come back to these small bits later

But that's like the whole moral of this post I guess. I got the hardest part for like all of these small pieces done, the stripping and scraping and rough sanding

Everything needs fine sanding. Some things need veneer repairs. But I can worry about that later, once I get there. And all of that will be a breeze compared to what I've done so far. It'll be fine. Progress is progress. Just need to keep the project moving.

And it is moving!

Currently working on the side pieces, here's a lil sneak peek for you!

But you'll have to come back and join me next time (don't forget to like and subscribe xoxo) when I've finished up these pieces and hopefully all those other finishing touches, so that hopefully the final, fourth part to this series will be like, the actual refinishing of this shelf

Lorde gibe me strenght to finish this soon 😩🙏

Part 1 / Part 3 / Part 4 (Finale)

[chaotic-plotter]

@dreamerinsilico <3 sent me a lot of emojis and i'm going to answer them all. from this ask meme

✨What's a fic you've posted you wish you could breathe life into again and have people talking about it? (or simply a fic you wish got more credit)

is it cheating to say "any of them"? 😂

i haven't written all that many so there's not a lot to choose from. we'll go with "a lighthouse five hundred yards down". at the time, i never planned on writing it, but the idea hit me like a damn anvil one really stupid humid day in summer 2021 and i was haunted until i finally wrote it.

💫what is your favorite kind of comment/feedback?

the kind where people either tell me why something struck them or where they dive into language/images/etc. mostly because that's what i like to do when i read something (dive into language, images, etc) and also because, even though it's a super limited dataset, fic is the only place i can get random reader feedback (not writer feedback, i have critique partners). i come from throwing myself against (....and sliding on down) the glass hill of trad pub and had never actually gotten any kind of feedback/response from people who didn't know me or my writing before and it was really useful to see what people responded to, if they liked my style, etc.

💘Is there any posted fic you want to rework/re-edit/re-write?

funny enough.....yes? and also funny enough, i sort of get to? in a sense?

i started my long post-fall fic right after my first rewatch back in 2021 and i planned out the whole thing (yes it's still taking me 800 years to finish it, i apologize). but in reality, i sort of have a different outlook on will and hannibal post-s3 than i did at the time. and i'm really going to be rethinking the back half of that fic as i work towards finishing it.

so, essentially, yes, i wish i could rework those first 6 chapters (especially the first 2, wrt to writing style and tone especially!) to better fit whatever pivot i'm going to do in the last 4. i wouldn't change any of will's internal arc, i'm still happy with that, but there's plot stuff that i would.

🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn't think it would take you?

not one that anyone can read, but i tried, thinking it would be darkly funny and maybe a good time (why i thought this is a mystery) to write about will post sex with margot. but writing about it in a "will has had sex that was Not Enjoyable but hey it was Sex With a Real Human Person and is reminded of his profound loneliness and has a little cry in the bathtub about it" way.

.......yeah i legitimately made myself upset with that one and had to stop. maybe i'll circle back around to it when i'm not so profoundly lonely.

🪄what is your post-writing/sharing aftercare? How do you take care of yourself or celebrate yourself when you've finished a fic?

i don't have any writing aftercare 😛 i probably should though

mostly i just take a couple of days off from writing after i finish something. idk, does checking your email hoping someone comments count as aftercare? i'm afraid i'm a terrible obsessive and putting things down is not my greatest skill, even if i am exhausted and glad to be done with actively working on them.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

hmmmmmm. well.

the next wip i actually have on the docket is a s1 nudist will au. i'm excited to jump back into hannibal's headspace after being outside of it for so long. he's absolutely insufferable and i can't wait to go full goose menace on everyone in the story (until it turns back on me and he never shuts up 😛)

and then, well, i've got another one-shot challenge after that, which is all about stretching muscles i rarely stretch 😏. i'm still deciding if i want to run a poll about it or if it should be a complete surprise

send me more asks if you like! i love these emoji meme post things

[hermitcraftheadcanons]

To Do List:

What's up, my Herd of Nerds?

Anyway, as you can tell, tomorrow is AU Sunday. But, because it's one after a 'my input' one, it's a follower input AU day! Yay!

So, send me your AUs and I'll put all of em in a hat to pick one randomly. The winner is picked and posted and we'll all try and make headcanons about your AU.

Done:

Zombie Apocalypse AU :: (https://hermitcraftheadcanons.tumblr.com/post/618314308275863552/zombie-apocalypse-au-masterpost)

Pirate AU ::

Currently In The Raffle:

-Toy Story AU.

-Ever After High/Descendants/Vaguely 'nex gen priness' AU.

-Eldritch Horror AU :: Or if that's a bit too out there, a more normal Monster AU. I don't care, but in my heart, I know Cleo is some kind of eldritch horror. Zombie is far too easy.

-Eldritch Monster AU! Hermits are all Lovecraftian horrors who all individually decided that they wanted to pretend to be normal and are all trying to hide their otherworldliness. I also feel like Mumbo or X or someone as the one actually "normal" player on the server would work well. Most hermits don't know that everyone else isn't normal either, but some find out about friends maybe.

-Rabid Debate Club AU :: Random weird au idea where it's basic hs/uni au but like two of them try to start a debate club, then invite some friends just so there's enough people; cut to like two months later, it's all the hermits just fighting over whether or not pineapple should go on pizza or not lol it isn't very good i'm sorry but ya know rabid debate club AU.

-Animal/shapeshifting AU :: (Suggested Twice.) Every hermit can shapeshift into one token animal. (If it's something like "dog," they can only turn into one breed and color of dog, EXAMPLE: doc can shift into a black sable belgian malinois, but not anything else.)

-Wedding Planners AU :: Hermits work in various unrelated businesses such as a bakery, flower shop, etc., but see each other semi-often bc they're semi-often called upon to work together by another hermit's wedding planning business (obvs if you couldn't tell i know absolutely nothing abt wedding planning & businesses n shit lol but it's the /concept/ of it yannknow)

-Avatar: The Last Air Bender AU. (Suggested Thrice.)

-Fusion AU :: (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested Twice.) What if Hermits could fuse with each other? (Viva and Jumbo fused into MumboJumbo.)

-SCP AU :: The hermits have spooky powers and are kept locked up bc of it (or they have to keep the world safe from monsters and cursed objects!)

-RPG AU :: I feel like someone already thought of that but I am just wondering about it lately :p -🍋

-Adventure Time AU :: The hermits live in a post-apocalyptic world and the Lich (bad guy) is making everything decay. They need to gather all the gems (belt colours) to unlock the Enchiridion (a book) and have one wish each granted from Prismo (multiverse wish granting dude) before the Lich does. Only 4 elements can enter the multiverse: Slime (The Lich & Jevin), Redstone (Tango or Mumbo?), Ice (Stress), and Dirt (Grian, much to his dismay). Only the elementals can see the book. Grian's the protagonist with his sidekick Scar. He originally started collecting the belts because they were shiny but eventually decided to read the book and find out what they were for when Scar said he didn't see it. Doc, False, and Iskall are major obstacles because they don't believe the book exists.</p>

-Total Drama Island AU.

-Magical Girl AU :: Zedaph's the lead magical girl and rounds up a bunch of other magical girl hermits.

-Pokeman AU :: What are the Hermit's roles in this world? Who's the Champion, Elite Four. Are they scientists? Trainers? Do they compete in competitions, do they specialize in types? Who's everyone's starter? Has anyone encountered any legendaries?

-College AU

-High School AU

-Wizard101 AU :: I (🦊) recently got this AU idea and recently started going off somewhere with it in terms of writing, but, like, Hermitcraft meets Wizard101. Tons and tons of magical shenanigans, monster hunting, and idk what else.

-Magic AU

-My Hero Academia AU :: Headcanons can be about which hermits would have what quirks and occupations based on them.

-So I'm writing an AU where there's a second game of Demise but 5 years later. So far the first 2 hermits (Joe and Xisuma) have died, and their dead forms are cracked with an arrow in his chest (Xisuma) and cyborg (Joe). So since it's Saturday, I'm looking for what some skins would look for.

-City AU :: I mean this is really just a normal everyday AU.

-School AU.

-Terraria-Minecraft Fusion AU :: Who chooses what class? what events do each hermit prefer? how to they deal with the world infections? preferred biomes? Favourite NPCS? It has potentiallllll.

-70s/80s Teen Horror AU :: (like Stranger Things, Carreie, The Lost Boys, Halloween, etc.) -🦇

-Demi-God AU :: Sort of like percy jackson (everyone being the children of different gods from all different cultures.)

-Supernatural AU

-Marching Band AU :: Xisuma is the band major and all the show music is the remixes. I need to come up with some ideas for uniforms. Outfits and flags for the colorguard too.

-Different Eras AU :: (Suggested Twice.) All the hermits are from different time periods or eras. Like Wels is from the mediveal/dark era, Mumbo is from 1890-1920's, Iskall is from 2030, TFC is from 2020(?), Cleo is from 2130, etc!!! Like the mobs/animals became feused with humans, is when the mob players came from.

-Star Trek AU :: Like maybe they could be on one ship and each have different roles like engineers or doctors? I don’t know if this has been suggested but hope you enjoy! - 🐦

-House Mates AU :: ApartmentAU but scaled down?

-Atlantis AU :: (Could be merged with Mermaid AU???)

-Fighting Game AU :: Some influences would be Street Fighter, Mortal Kombat, and Ultra Instinct, that kind of stuff.

-Time loop AU :: The hermits each have to deal with their own time loop.

(All those above in red are from our community's lovely Anons!)

-Superhero/superpower AU :: They each have a unique power/powerset that is in some way connected to their personality. (ie Mumbo *could* control electricity because of his love of redstone) Some Hermits may even choose to be "villains" and prank their other servermates. If you need power ideas, I've got a couple. (12u3ie)

-Daycare AU :: The recap peeps are the caretakers :P (-@tikauniverse.)

-Incredibly Long Cross Country Train Ride AU :: they all are in the same train car, telling stories of where they’re going, backstories.)

-Stuck In An Airport AU :: pretty similar to train au but they can be going diff places.

-Doctors AU :: they’re all doctors working at the same hospital.)

-Circus AU (Also suggested by an Anon.) (Suggested Twice.)

-Spy AU (Also suggested by @shadeswiftdraws.) (Suggested Twice.)

-Runaways AU :: The hermits are all teenagers who have run away from home, they all live on the streets until TFC takes them in. Head canons can be about backstories, living on the streets, or when they’re with TFC.

-Criminals and Police Officers AU

(-@lookitsspacekween)

-Dancer AU :: I mean, I already got a list kind of planned out, but headcanons for why specific styles are chosen would be appreciated! :) (usedtobelucythefallenangel)

-Broadway/Musicals Hermits AU :: The hermits are all casts of various musicals and when this newly-built theater opens up they all fight for which musical gets to play in it first (they have a riff-off maybe?) musicals mainly included are Hamilton, BMC, DEH, SiX, Beetlejuice, etc (feel free to add more!) (-@heyitsroby.)

-DnD AU (Also suggested by Anon.) (Suggested twice.)

-Mermaid AU :: In honor of the end of Mermay

-Space exploration AU :: There could be different ships, command centers, aliens.... Maybe someone could even get stranded/crash on a new planet? Who knows, could be fun.

-Paranormal/ghost hunter AU :: A couple Hermits could be the ghost hunters going to haunted locations to prove/disprove their hauntedness, others could be camera crew, owners of haunted buildings, or even the ghosts themselves.

-Camping/Vacation AU.

-Summer Cottage AU :: They all spend summers/weekends along the same shoreline and do different summer activities together. Outdoor fun and shenanigans!

-Space AU :: like star trek or similar.

-I would say evil clone au but I think that's pretty much the entire Hermitcraft tumblr right now lol. (Suggested twice.)

(-@shadeswiftdraws.)

-Magic AU :: Magic exists and all the hermits have powers. They can also summon a weapon but what that weapon is depends on the hermit. I'm thinking it'll take place in a sort-of Demise 2 in S7 with a big war. So far I've got: Grian - Cloning himself to his different personas (each has a different power). Xisuma - Making barriers, teleporting, and transforming into different mobs. Scar - Making mutant plants & boosting other hermits' attack & health. (-@datsaltyperson.)

-Demon AU :: Something enters the overworld and turns into a supernatural style-demon through Dimentional Distortion. Who gets posessed first, who goes crazy, and who actually kills it? Honestly I think that, if anything, Tango would know how to gank it, for obvious reasons. (-@fireflower-dusk.)

-High Street AU :: Everyone owns a different shop on the same street or some run a shop together (-@violets-arepurple.)

-Cat AU :: Either they're were always cats, or Hels turned everyone, including himself, into a cat, and they have to survive and overcome challenges in the Season 7 world. An example of a challenge would be Cub's a Sand Cat(the cats that always look like kittens no matter how old they are and live in deserts), and everyone's not sure if he can actually swim, so they have to find a way for him to get around without involving water. (-@scp10000.)

-How about a secret AU.. Every hermit has their big secrets and when Grian joined. He doesn't really know anything about those secrets even till season 7. Not many hermits talked to him in S6 anyway.. Mumbo was the closest to him so they would have regular chats For Iskall is mostly business related things Grian wants to know why so he set out on a quest to force the others to at least talk to him so he wouldn't be lonely. (-@babylightstudentbiscuit.)

-Hermit Family AU :: Xisuma is very busy dad but when he isnt busy the kids and younger hermits annoying the hell out of him. Grian once asked to use Xisuma's computer and crashed the whole thing trying to download illegal gamesites and get money off the internet. Mumbo and his trains run through the entire house and Xisuma trips on them daily. (-@gamerutx.)

-College AU!! But they are not students. THEY ARE THE TEACHERS (-@ivi-prism.)

Ones I planned to do anyway but Hermitblr Hivemind and all that:

Battle of The Bands AU: i believe u once mentioned a bands/ battle of the bands au... thats my jam... (Anon.)

[thedoctor1002]

Idk, I never posted one of my fics here but guess I'll try ~

Also, English is not my first language so feel free to correct me QwQ

Fandom: Psycho-Pass -season 1- (is this still a thing?)

Characters: Kogami Shinya, Sasayama Mitsuru, OC

Prompt (it was in Italian, so I'll translate): write a story using three among these words: cloud, dusk, thunderstorm, storm, hull, bay, shelter, sail, night

Title: Log date: 2110/02/28 (Friday) 22:04

---

The lights of the bay flicker dynamically before your eyes.

They dance hypnotically, of the same cyan colour of your office’s walls, but with a whole different beat. They drink the red and white trails from the traffic, they shatter and multiply in the tears of an inclement rain. I know how much you hate it, you just can’t stand going on recon with an umbrella. On the other hand, I love it.

Rain brings us close together under the waterproof cloth and I manage to observe details that neon lights often hide from me: the precise way you part your hair, the last few drops of the jasmine perfume on your jacket, your long lashes. Shion thinks they’re fake. We always fight over it, can you believe me?

After all, you’ve never been the kind of woman to wear such frills. 

A notification arrives, the acid light of your impalpable PC breaks through the sacred dark from where you pretend you don’t see me. It digs your silhouette and paints you like a ghost on the huge windows of the Public Safety Bureau.

Your jet-black hair lay on your back like varnish pouring over the white silk of your blouse.

“Pulling an all-nighter, Inspector Matou?” I ask casually, exposed. With you, after all, I always am: you’re the only one that can shush my shitty jokes.

But this time you laugh slightly: nothing more than a spike, a trembling breath that shakes your ribs and lips.

“The forecasts say that the storm won’t stop until tomorrow morning,” you tell me, sitting at your desk, “also, I’ve been delaying this paperwork through all week, it's about time I get it done. Might as well do some overtime and get rid of it, don’t you think?”

“You’re such a workaholic.” I label you, realizing how lucky I am being allowed to do it: Ginoza, that prude, would have never let it slide “You should leave some for the rest of the precinct: make 'em earn their wages.”

A tired smile crosses your face as you tap your fingers on the keyboard. It’s so clear you’re trying to avoid my glance.

You used to look for it.

You looked for my eyes at briefings, in that discrete way that eventually shocked everyone. You looked for them among alleys, as soon as you heard a gunshot or the chocked sound of a fight.

And when you found me, it felt like a 7 miles free fall.

“How are the legs going?” I dare to ask. I see the hollow structure of your new shins below the hem of your pencil skirt. They swing a bit underneath the glass of your desk. You didn’t lose your damn tic, your right heel shakes like the needle of a sewing machine even when you seem calm.

You shrug and drink the bottom of an already empty glass of water.

I shouldn’t have asked. It breaks my heart, to see you like this.

You don’t give me an answer and massage the back of your knee with a sigh. Lately, I feel like you’re avoiding me.

You’re turning back into the one you were before: uncompromising, cold and distant. I wonder if the bunch of ingrates downstairs have been calling you Dobermann again. I wonder if you’re still as relentless.

You worry me: your stress level is getting darker and darker. You don’t want old Kasei to take issues with you, not again.

I can imagine how you must have felt, the night when this mess happened.

You most likely got pissed, if I do know you.

I mean, did they really think I got away on my own? I bet you never doubted me: no one knows an Enforcer better than its Inspector.

“Runaway?! Have you lost your minds?” Sasayama?!”

Those were the first words you said when they rescued you. You spoke them way before cleansing your lungs from the rotten water of the river, way before asking Masaoka if you’d have ever got back to feeling your lower legs. They hurt like hell and you had to pull them around like sandbags.

“They got him” you panted, holding tight on your mentor’s coat “They took him away, I tell you!” The one that kidnapped him wasn’t a latent criminal. The Dominator didn’t activate, not even when they shot me. Please, believe me. Check on the log files, please.”

Crime coefficient: 0.

I know that bug still haunts you.

Cause, after all, it’s can’t be anything else: who on earth is that Makishima to fly under the Sibyl Sistem’s radar? Who can fool a network that knows your crimes before you do? And how is it possible that the silhouette that kneecapped you and threw you into a river could possibly be innocent?

You haven’t lost your mind, Inspector: the Dominator betrayed me, too.

Don’t think I don’t know how pitiful must have been, the next three days.

Makishima isn’t real. Forget it, it was just a delirium. You were in shock.

It was the trauma, dear. It was a breakdown. It was burnout syndrome.

You’d use some holiday, darling. Take a week. Take two. Go somewhere far, no, better: just stay at home. Go to therapy. Keep yourself busy, don’t think about it. Work. Also, don’t work: it wears you out!

They put you back on your feet in less than six hours, but nobody allowed you to join search parties. Heaven forbid your stress level getting any darker. Heaven forbid that yet another good Inspector gets demoted among those damn Enforcers. But, still, in the whole IT section, there wasn’t a single nerd that could get that night's logs. That's one funny thing, ain't it?

Woman, sometimes I wish your damn head wasn't that hard. I wish you didn't follow the Forensics to get a lift, so soon after the deed.

At least, you could have listened to Kogami. Shit, didn't you see how pale he was? You didn't even need the Dominator to read him, his stress level was mindblowing!

You should have believed him when he told you you didn't want to enter that alley. First off, it was already full of other detectives and analysts. I have no idea what kind of business you had to do in there. Second thing second, Kogami has an eye for certain matters. Do you think he didn't notice I’ve always been all over you? Not gonna lie, maybe I told him about you, once or twice.

But no, of course, you had to get in.

The software that taught you how to walk on those carbon stilts made you stand your ground and bark a "For fuck's sake, Shinya, move!" worthy of the Dobermann’s reputation. Even those who hadn't been called out made way.

But your new legs didn't hold you, when you saw what they had made of my corpse.

I'm sorry, Katsumi, I never wanted to upset you like that. 

You know how much I would have rather have a more heroic death. I don't know, like, in the middle of a shooting, saving the day. It would have been much classier, less tacky, less trash. I think I deserved it, that's all.

You stop typing and rub your temples. You shelter what’s left of your lipstick behind your hand. I wish I could kiss it off, instead of watching you consume it in a ruby red halo in the notch between your thumb and your index.

You lift your eyes only for Kogami, who’s passing by your office like a nurse in its night shift.

“So?” he asks in a whisper, putting more care in that question than I could have ever done. More than anybody could have ever done, because he’s the only one that gets you, right now. You two seem like the only ones who lost something.

You shake your head slowly, staring at the monitor and the dangerously high Crime Coefficient on the display.

“It's not working” you wail softly, misty-eyed. I can’t believe it, is it still you?

“They’re gonna kick me out anyway, if it doesn’t lower quickly” you continue, with that realism of yours. I used to call you a jinx for that but, at the end of the day, you always got our backs. “It’s for the best if I just resign. I’m gonna keep what's left of my dignity, at least.” 

The dark profile of my best friend looks through me, as he sits on the armchair next to mine. He would like to say something, a word of encouragement maybe, we all know it in this damn room, but numbers shut our mouths. 

“You could become an Enforcer” he proposes.

Goddammit, Shinya, did we work with the same person? Katsumi as an Enforcer?

And there you go, shaking your head. You hold your face in your hands and let your raven hair hide your visage. 

“Can you imagine me, following orders? I do know how to work, I can do it better than three-quarters of our colleagues and I’ve never had problems remarking it. They’d eat me alive if they had the chance. Dogs celebrate on the corpses of lions.”

“But lions remain lions and dogs stay dogs.” Kogami finishes, stealing my lines. 

I notice the slight trembling of your finger, as you tap your touchpad to send that last confirm.

In a few moments, the system will have your resignation registered. Your profile won’t unlock your Dominator anymore and in a few days time, just enough for you to collect your belongings, you won’t even manage to enter the office.

Who’s gonna explain to old Kasei that there's more of your stuff here than in your apartment?

I’d ask you what do you plan on doing with your life, but tonight’s decision seems definitely brave enough to call it a day.

I look at the tabs you open in your browser, they mirror in the windows behind you.

Air travel.

Argentina, Cuba, States, New Zealand, Germany, Kenya. You go around the world in 80 seconds flat, you multiply your chances and spread them all through the air in front of you, in a complex diagram that doesn’t lead anywhere.

I never wanted to take you away from your home, you don’t deserve this. 

You cover your eyes with a hand and use the other one to pick a random selection from your atlas.

Greece.

“Well, at least it’s on the sea.” you wrap up, condensing in a handful of words the only satisfaction you can find in starting a brand new life.

You two stare at the transparent screenshot of your flight, the countdown on the web page seems way too joyful.

“It’s so exciting, Katsumi Matou! Check-in your luggage. Your journey will begin in: 06 days: 17 hours: 34 minutes: 21 seconds”

20.

19.

18.

Seconds pass by, in complete silence.

“Do you think it would be a burden to him?” you ask Shinya, “Do you think he’d understand?”

Who would have guessed that a cynic one like yourself could believe in the afterlife? I wish I were here to ask you. I wish we could have spoken about life, death, sex, about things long gone and things yet to be.

His hand squeezes yours gently, as he looks at you in the eye, hoping to stop the train to Paranoidland from setting off.

“It’s not your fault” he reassures you as he can: the both of you wouldn’t make the average person’s empathy.

But he’s right, though, it really isn’t: I know you’ve done anything you could. It’s always been like that.

“Maybe I owe him” you draft “Even if they don’t believe in Makishima, maybe one day I could have proved he exists.”

The teal of your Psycho-Pass would suit you wonderfully, if it wasn’t a description of your mental health.

What could you possibly do in these conditions? You’d have ended up in a cubicle, filing loss and theft reports. You would have never made it to the dossiers, surely not to those of such a controversial case. Making you end up in a study room would have been my final bullshit. I’m happy with your choice, really. I would have loved visiting Europe someday.

“Don’t talk nonsense.” Kogami rebukes you, externalizing what I’ve been thinking all along: “I’m going to look out for your man: your team has already given way too much. I’m gonna find him, Matou, cold case or not.”

You nod, but it’s clear you don’t believe him. I can read through you, you’re a terrible liar.

I don’t think you don’t trust him, most likely you’ve done the math and figured that working on an independent case is far too difficult for an Inspector, let alone for an Enforcer.

And there it is, my fall. After an exhausting chase, you finally look into my eyes, even though -according to Shinya- you’re most likely staring at the void.

Despite being used to such races, believe me, I’ve missed you.

“I’m just so sorry.” you finally whisper, giving me a bitter smile. 

Try and stop me, Ginoza, tell me once again how inappropriate it is: I don’t mind anymore. I get up and I don’t hesitate while holding you and leaving a kiss on your hair, shamelessly.

“I’m going to grab some coffee” I announce, walking backwards to the door like a shrimp, just to look at my dearest friends a bit longer. “I’d get you one, but I’m short on coins. Maybe next time.”

“See you, Inspector.”, Kogami greets you, leaving alongside me.

“Be good.” you wave back, as we were all to meet again tomorrow.

Walking through the dark alley, I can hear an excerpt from our last conversation through the opaque glass of your office.

“You’re jerk, Sasayama!”

I can hear you laughing out loud, through the crackly recording. You laughed at my gall, with that warm, strong, sweet voice of yours, mocking me. Admit it: mine, after all, were the only compliments that could make you blush.

It’s incredible how we managed to joke even inside a car that was taking us on a crime scene. To an external eye, we might have looked disrespectful. Truth is I’ve always feared death so much I just had to laugh at the reaper.

“Oh, come on, what would it take? Come with me to the Precinct’s New Year’s dinner, the 17th is around the corner!” I kept annoying you, as you were too busy driving to mind my dumb flirt attempts. I still can’t get how we never had an accident. “Be good, Katsumi, give me a joy to live for!”

“You could always ask Shion, you know? You always give her more attention, after all.”

I hear the subtle sound of the wheels stopping, the parking brake cracking and it’s like Ogishima’s outskirts appear before my eyes, in that same January night. That place gave me goosebumps, but I would have hated if you understood it.

“Here we are” you announced, with still a bit of resentment in your voice. You unlocked the passenger’s door and I remember I left your Dominator in the car’s trunk: I didn’t want you to follow me. Not that time.

“You scare me when you pay so much attention” you commented, noticing how serious I got “will you tell me why are you insisting so much to keep on searching? Kogami got the guy. Tomorrow we go, we arrest him and it's thank you, next.”

My answer has been recorded as a distant and muffled noise, but I still can trace it: “He’s not the one, I tell you. I have another suspect, but I need a more solid base. And you’re staying, Inspector.”

“Staying?! You’ve gone crazy!” you laughed, locking the corporate sedan behind you “If something were to happen to you, or worse if you didn’t come back, Kasei would…”

“I said you’re staying: it’s dangerous.”

“Sasayama, our work is dangerous,” you replied, contemptuous, understanding that clearly among the gear I brought I didn’t count yours and going back to the car to get it “One more risk won’t make a difference: if I have to drop dead, it can either be here, at home or god knows where.”

“Will you join me for the precinct’s dinner, though?”

And here is a sequence that the voice recorder surely can’t have grasped, but that I could remember even in a thousand years. You cast an outraged glance over me from above the trunk’s door, panting through a half-smile. You shook your head, tucking your hair behind your ear. And finally, after refusing my invitations since 17th November, during lunch break, you smiled shrugging.

“Deal, come on, just make way” you sighed, as your heels echoed on the wet concrete “Still, you’re a jerk.”

“I recorded it: you have no excu-”

The audio file interrupts.

End of recording.

[silentglassbreak]

Waddup I wanna fuel your harringrove addition w a prompt. Can you do No. 9 the "I've seen you in my dreams" but have it be a nightmare and the one having the nightmares always thought the other was the evil behind his dreams, but then he discovers hes meant to help stop the nightmares.? Idk if that made sense but I'll love anything you write. 🤗

OMG OMG IM EXCITED.

9. “I’ve been dreaming of you, every day, for as long as I can remember.”

Dream of Me

Billy was still dreaming. He knew he was. He looked down at his hands to see he was missing a finger on one hand, as if he never had one to begin with. As disconcerting as it was, he was able to breathe a sigh of relief. Knowing he was dreaming made his spine relax just enough for him to find his nerve.

He stepped through the threshold of his bedroom door, eyes shifting down the dark hallway. The silence made his hair stand on end, forcing him to swallow so hard over the lump in his throat. He just had to make it outside, to the light of day, to freedom. Maybe he would this time.

His thoughts were interrupted by a force, slamming against his right cheekbone, throwing him off balance and landing on his ass inside the bedroom.

“Where the fuck you think you’re going, boy?” Billy cradled his face, eyes already stinging out of instinct. He pressed them shut tight, doing his best to force his subconscious to just cut him a fucking break. He was tired of this dream, this fucking nightmare. He was tired of the same song and dance he dealt with every time he closed his eyes.

As always, Neil stood over him, eyes red and piercing into him. Billy could almost feel how sharp the words rolling off his tongue were.

“Always knew you were a faggot, William.” A hot glob of spit hit Billy’s face, causing him to flinch hard. “You never could do one fucking thing right.”

Another fist landed, this time against his left eye socket, making him think his eye may actually pop out of his skull. The blow had him laying on his back, stars swirling around his vision. His head lulled to the side, blood rolling down his upper lip, when he caught sight of it.

It was always just there. Mocking him. The wooden bat, bare handle, a slew of nails coming out of the end covered in some kind of dried blood. It was always there, had always been there. It perched under his bed, just out of his reach. He wanted to grab it. Wanted to swing it on Neil and end this fucking dream, but he never could. His hands were too heavy in this place. It didn’t mean he wasn’t going to try.

The blows kept coming, one after another after another, until he was lying back and just taking them. He could hear his heartbeat in his ears. In his real life, Neil had never beat him quite this badly, never wanting the bruises to be too obvious. But in this dream, he didn't intend to let Billy leave; intended to end him one punch at a time.

Billy’s arms finally started to move, reaching for the bat. His fingers came within centimeters of the wood.

Billy’s eyes popped open, chest rising and falling like it did every morning. He shrugged off the feeling, same as always. Although his heart rate was elevated, the adrenaline was wearing off fast. He was used to the dreams now. Since he was a boy, the nightmares about Neil finding out he was gay haunted him.

Billy was very good at hiding it in his daily life, always keeping a girl around, bringing her to dinner sometimes. The facade was believable to everyone around him, and he took pride in that. Steve didn’t even mind his flashy behavior, knowing full well that Billy was his and always would be.

Their relationship was so easy, and Steve was so understanding of his fears. They didn’t even speak outside of their private, intimate moments, keeping the illusion alive. He really couldn't have asked for anyone better to love him, so he cherished Steve in every way he knew how.

Billy pulled himself out of bed, sweat still clinging to the back of his neck. He pulled on his clothes in the dim light of his bedroom, readying himself for the day. Slinging his backpack over his shoulder, he made his way out into the hall, moving to Max’s door and giving a short rap on it.

Voice hushed, he asked, “Max, you ready?” He could hear shuffling on the other side.

“Yeah, just putting my shoes on.”

The ride to the schools were mostly silent, no music pumping through the speakers. Billy’s left arm was hanging out of the window nonchalantly, cigarette balancing between two fingers. He was slumped down in the seat, lazily trailing through back roads.

“Did you have another nightmare?” Billy rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses, sighing.

“How’d you know?” She chewed on her lower lip, side-eyeing him.

“I heard you talking. Sounded like you were crying.” He flicked his cigarette and rolled his window up, sitting up straighter.

“Is what it is.” She turned her head to look at him now. Her voice was small, so quiet.

“Are you going to Steve’s today?” His head whipped around to look straight at her, neck cracking in response. The look on his face made her shrink down in her seat.

“What?” Her expression hardened, in no mood for his attitude apparently.

“Fucking please, Billy. Don’t act like I don’t know about you two.” He was genuinely confused. He had kept his secret so well, he thought.

“What the fuck are you talking about?” He was working hard to keep his voice aggressive, but he was faltering, fear seeping into his soul. She scoffed and sat back, looking out the windshield.

“Whatever, play dumb. I don’t care. I just need to know if you’re picking me up or if I need to cover for your ass. Again.” His jaw was hanging, his head briefly checking the road. His mind was soaring, a burning sensation crawling from the base of his skull down to his tailbone.

“How do you know?” She smirked and rolled her eyes.

“Billy, you’re sneaky, but you’re not that sneaky.” She looked down and began picking at her fingers. “Neil has no idea.”

Billy let out a long exhale he didn’t realize he was holding. The air in his lungs felt like nails going down.

“Better fucking not find out either.”

“I’m not going to tell.” He scowled out the windshield.

“In exchange for what?” Her eyebrows lifted, shocked at the question. She shook her head.

“I don’t want anything Billy.” He rolled his head toward her, disbelieving. “Man, I’ve known for months. I haven’t told anyone yet, why would I start blackmailing you now?” He pursed his lips, considering.

All the nights he had fallen asleep at Steve’s and not realized until daybreak. Every time he skipped school to go to the quarry with him, forgetting to pick her up from school. She covered, every time, and they never talked about why.

“Thanks, shitbird.” She smiled.

“Whatever.”

The car went quiet again, almost to Hawkins Middle School, where they would part ways. When he pulled into the parking space, she didn’t immediately get out, hand resting on the door.

“Hey, Billy?” He didn’t respond, just jerked his head to acknowledge her. “You should tell Steve about the nightmares. He can probably help.” He pulled off his sunglasses, eyes glaring at her. She threw her hands up defensively, not saying another word and exiting the vehicle. He watched her bounce up the sidewalk toward the Party, joining them easily.

Steve’s lips were hot against Billy’s, slow kisses smothering him in the best way. His body molded under the brunette, hand slowly brushing through his hair. They both laid on the bed, only boxers on, making out in a lazy way until they were breathless. The darkness of night had fallen over Hawkins, leaving Billy and Steve alone for the night.

It was a Friday night, which meant Billy would be calling home shortly, to let them know he wouldn’t be home until the next day. Maybe. If Steve would ever let him leave. His eyes were closed, breathing in Steve’s air, other hand pulling at his leg to hook his thigh over his own hip.

Steve pulled back first, looking at Billy with a sort of warmth in his eyes. His smile was tired.

“Again? We just finished.” Billy returned it with a devilish grin, all teeth.

“Never enough of you, pretty boy.” Steve chuckled and leaned back, away from Billy.

“I’m tired.” Steve was being whiny, and it made Billy only want him that much more.

“That sucks. Cause I’m not done with you.” Steve curled up, snuggling his face into Billy’s neck. Instinctively, he wrapped his arms around Steve, pulling his as close as he could.

“Let me just have, like, ten minutes.” Billy’s body shook with silent laughter.

“Goodnight Princess.” He held Steve there, feeling his breathing even out. He knew he would wake up around two, as he usually did, and beg Billy to cook him some eggs or macaroni and cheese. This was their routine. Billy didn’t mean to fall asleep, but Steve was so warm. So familiar. It didn’t take long before his eyes were fluttering closed.

The room was completely black, no walls or floor, no doors, nothing. All that was around was the usual inch of water on the floor like there always was. He turned his head from side to side, trying to make out where he was. He looked down at his hands, all ten fingers firmly in place. This confused him. He had to be dreaming if he was in this place?

Then he heard it, the roaring voice of his Dad echoing through nothingness. The problem was, he couldn’t see him. He spun around anxiously, an entirely new wave of horror washing over him.

“Billy-boy.” His dad’s voice sang. His eyes were blown out, straining to see in the darkness.

“Dad?” But then he was on the ground, nose bleeding. his hand came up to touch it, shying away at the searing pain and crunch of the cartilage. His head began pounding.

Billy tried to lift himself up before a sharp pin hit his ribs, knocking the air from his lungs. He gasped, trying to hold his side.

“You think you can hide from me, son?” Another kick from a foot that wasn’t there. “You’re such a fucking pussy, William.” Kick. “And you don’t fucking deserve this life I’ve given you.” Kick. “So you don’t get to run.” Kick.

Billy was struggling to breathe, choking and spitting. He still couldn’t see anything. He glanced around frantically, looking for the bat. Where was it? It was always there. But this time it wasn’t. He was alone, he was all alone.

He heard another voice, which sounded like it was at least one hundred yards away.

“Billy?” It was Steve. He was coming. And Neil would kill him. Neil would kill them both.

“Steve!” He screamed, his voice hoarse. “Don’t!” He felt a hand wrap around his throat, pinning him to the wet floor. He squirmed, clawing at nothingness over him, gasping as hard as he could.

“Billy!” Steve was getting closer, and Billy was stuck. He kicked his legs and shook his body in an attempt to free himself, but failed.

“Billy, wake up!”

His body shot up, hands flailing in front of him, making contact with skin. He looked over, seeing Steve’s hands still trying to steady him.

“Billy! It’s okay! You were having a bad dream.” Steve looked absolutely wrecked, hair a mess and staring wildly at Billy, absolutely terrified. It took him a moment to right himself, realizing he was fine. His nose wasn’t broken, he wasn’t choking, and Steve was safe.

Billy tucked his knees up, burying his face in his arms and sobbing. It was too real. It didn’t feel like a dream. Steve’s arms wrapped around him, shushing in his ear.

“S’okay babe. I’m here.” Billy felt like he couldn’t breathe. “What were you dreaming about?”

Billy took a minute to steady his breathing, lifting his head to look at Steve.

“I don’t know. It wasn’t like my other dreams.” He had never told Steve about his nightmares, never having any while in the safety of the Harrington house before. The thought infuriated him. He didn’t have nightmares with Steve. Steve was his safe place.

“What made it different?” Billy was scowling at the comforter, the anger burning hot in his veins.

“The bat. I didn’t have the stupid fucking bat.” Steve raised an eyebrow in apprehension?

“A bat? Like, the animal?” Billy snorted, shaking his head.

“No, a baseball bat.” He wiped his face and shrugged. “It’s always there. I can never grab the fucking thing, but it helps me remember I’m dreaming.” Steve nodded, understanding.

“So, you didn’t know you were dreaming?”

“I kind of figured, but it felt so real.” Steve gave him a small smile.

“I’m sorry, Billy. But hey,” Steve leaned back on the bed, arm reaching down toward the floor. “you can borrow mine if you want. It's pretty deadly.”

His hand came up, and Billy went white. There was a long handled bat in his hands, old and darkened with something that looked like blood. On the head of the bat, at least ten nails stuck out, bent and rusted. His heart fell about twenty stories.

The bat was identical to the one from his dreams, and something inside of Billy told him it was the bat from his dreams. It was always there, untouchable. He felt like he may fall over, the stunning realization knocking him completely off kilter.

The look on Billy’s face and him failing to respond sent Steve into a flurry of explanation, ears turning pink. “I’m sorry, I know it’s a bit much for home protection. But, I mean, you never know when shit’s going to go do-“

“Where did you get that?” His eyes were still bugging out, fixed on the wood in Steve’s hands.

“Oh,” Steve lifted it gently, offering it to Billy. “It was Nancy’s. I guess I kind of stole it from her about a year ago.” Billy picked it up, examining every splinter and nail.

“Why?” He looked up at Steve from under his lashes. “Why do you have it?” Steve chewed on his lip.

“It’s a really long story.” He scratched the back of his head. Billy couldn’t help but crack a smile, moving the bat back to the floor behind Steve.

His arms gently pulled around his boyfriend, pulling him close. His eyes welled with tears again, struggling to hold himself together.

The realization was dawning on him. When he was dreaming, Steve was there. When he was hurting, bleeding, dying, Steve was there. He had always been. Before they met, when Billy was a boy, Steve was there. Protecting him. Reminding him, there’s a way out. There’s a solution just out of reach, and still safe. Steve was his protection. His safe space.

“Billy? What’s wrong?” Steve pulled back to look at him. Billy couldn’t help but break out into a cackle, shaking his head.

“Harrington, you son of a bitch.” Steve’s eyebrows raised, a pout playing on his lips.

“The fuck?” Billy sat back on his ass, laughter turning hysterical.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, it’s just so fucking nuts!” Steve clearly wasn’t following. His face told Billy he was confused, and slightly off-put somehow. It made Billy sober enough to look at him with a fond smile.

“Steve,” He looked up at the ceiling, still forcing his laughter down. “You’re probably not going to believe me.”

Growing impatient, Steve snapped. “What the fuck won’t I believe, Billy?” It made Billy stop laughing and realize he needed to explain himself. He cleared his throat and looked right at Steve, working to form the words. He felt embarrassment, but he pushed passed it.

Billy finally looked directly at Steve.

“Harrington, I’ve been dreaming of you, every day, for as long as I can remember.” Steve’s eyes were hyper-focused on Billy, staring in disbelief. This was what Billy needed to say?

“Come again?” Billy shrugged and turned his entire body to the brunette.

“Look,”

He began explaining his nightmares. All of them. From when he was ten and realized he was gay, to the night before when he was home in bed. He explained that they always had the same plot line; his Dad found out he was gay and was going to beat him to death for it. That he wanted to fight back, and there was the bat.

He told Steve that the bat had always been there, looking the same as Steve’s, perched somewhere only a fraction of an inch out of his reach. How he was always so close to reaching it before he woke up.

Billy told Steve that he was certain that was why he always woke up. It was Steve who was waking him up. Steve who was watching over him, never letting his Dad take it too far. He told Steve he understood now that the bat wasn’t there to mock him, but to save him and end the dream.

Steve’s expression was crumbling, flashing between confusion and understanding.

“So...now you know l, I guess.”

And then Steve was laughing, completely out of control. He fell onto his side on the bed and his laugh echoed through the room.

“That’s…” He was struggling to speak between breaths. “So…” He had tears from laughing so hard. “Fucking…” Billy was getting a little offended. “Crazy!”

A strike of something that resembled rejection and shame hit Billy all at once. Steve called him crazy, and that’s just fucked up. He slapped the skin on Steve’s shoulder hard.

“Fuck off! I’m not crazy!” Steve waved a hand at him, still chuckling.

“You’re not crazy. The fact that you’ve been dreaming about my fucking baseball bat is crazy.” He sat up on his elbow and smiled up at Billy. “This last year has been the most psychotic, fucking mental year of my life, and what you just said? It’s crazy. But I’ve definitely heard crazier. You don’t even know the half of it.” Billy quirked a small smile.

“I don’t?” Steve shook his head, coughing out the rest of his giggles.

“It’s a long story.” Steve was smirking, eyeing Billy. “I could tell you,” He let his voice fall low. “over some eggs.”

[pceexistsinthevoid]

Directors Commentary:

Set 1: Halloween Quilt nails

this will become a recurring theme, but i apparently lost most of my specific nail art dotting tools when i most recently moved (i'm hoping they'll turn back up but i'm not optimistic), so i only have one of them and it's not the smallest. given that, i'm pretty happy with how this one turned out. the stitching could've looked much worse. overall very fun way to start.

Set 2: haunted forest-ish (aka failed shattered mirror) nails

yeah, if it's not obvious from the way i insist on titling this, i went into this trying to make it look like a shattered mirror. gave up on that when i started actually trying to draw the lines for the shattering and it just proved too complicated. the combination of my shaky hands and the fact my main dotting tool that i still know the location of isn't that precise just kinda made it not work. Also, just because i think you can still see it under the red if you look closely, the thing for the accent nail was initially going to be a pair of eyes. it unfortunately ended up just looking really goofy with this concept, so i just put some red over it. just a series of errors, but i was far enough into the process i just couldn't deal with the concept of starting over (they took so long as-is). I just did my best to make it work.

That said, i don't hate the way they turned out. Imo they look kinda cool. i don't think "haunted forest" is actually the exact thing they invoke for most people, but that was how i could justify it for my halloween nails so it's what i call them.

Set 3: tentacle monster nails

Unlike the rest of these, I've actually done this design before (i wanna say two years ago?), but i just had so much fun with them that i was fine with doing a repeat. They turned out roughly the same, and while i have my slight critiques of my own work and the shapes and such, i still really like them. These ones got me called "an artist" by 2 entire, separate strangers, which i was not expecting lol.

I will say, sometimes when people would comment on them it wasn't always obvious that they realized what i was going for? which is fine- angles can make it hard to tell, if nothing else- but if you don't realize it's supposed to be some sort of monster when you see the ring finger, i kinda don't know what it would be/why you'd think they're cool.

(also i am asexual, but if you have a thing for tentacles and a thing for hands...idk, you're welcome, lol? I don't care/more power to you, just make sure to be respectful if you're interacting with me/somewhere i'll get notifications for)

Set 4: bones and rib-cage nails

In general i wanted to have something bone/skeleton themed, but also one of my personality traits is "having an extra rib" so i thought it'd be kinda funny to specifically have rib-cages. Knowing the trouble I've had with my dotting tool, I knew i'd have to find something more precise, so i had to scrounge around and find toothpicks to make this work. obviously if you look at them up close, the flaws/evidence of shaky hands come through more, but apart from that i did still pull it off/clearly convey the concept.

Also, purely anecdotal, but these were the one's where way more men than average both noticed them and took the time to comment on them. Dunno what that means (could be nothing), but it was interesting to experience.

Set 5: Blood spatter nails

until i found out i wasn't scheduled to work on halloween, I just assumed I wouldn't be able to do these ones. Maybe it's weak of me, but I just didn't want to tempt fate at my job by freaking anybody out. But then i wasn't scheduled and realized i could just do it for the day by using the peel off base coat that i have. I rarely have a reason to use it otherwise, so it was a revelation when i remembered i even had it lol. The toothpicks once again came in clutch for getting some of the smaller dots. Also the fact they didn't have to be perfect dots and could occasionally be smeared took a lot of pressure off.

Conclusion:

idk. hope you had fun.

not that i really talk about it much, but i really like painting my nails. specifically in october and june cause those are the easiest to have some kind of theme i can plan designs off of. idk, anyway, here's this past october's:

1) the "halloween quilt" nails

2) the "haunted forest" nails/the (failed) shattered mirror nails

(don't necessarily think there was anything identifying about the background, but still wanted to scribble it out with this one. just to be safe)

3) the "tentacle monster" nails

4) the "bones and rib-cages" nails

and then, lastly,

5) the "tw: blood" nails. it's obviously fake and all, but nonetheless if i came anything close to succeeding it does resemble that. remember to proceed with caution if you need it.

[aidenwaites]

You tell your haunted house stories I'll tell mine

oh hoho nonny idk when you sent this but get ready for a STORY

So between about the time that I was 8 to 11 years old, my mom, my sister, my young nephew, my brother, and I lived in a double wide trailer out in the middle of the woods on Berry road. We also occasionally lived with a couple of my brother’s friends, who each had homes that were.. less than good, and who my mom was glad to take in, and one of my sister’s boyfriends. Rent was $300 a month and we practically lived off of food stamps and church donated foods. 

The landlady lived right next to us; Mrs. Dolly, who had to be somewhere in her eighties and who spent every day outside gardening, despite her bad back and her several hip surgeries. She lived alone in a cabin and my first exposure ever to the concept of Pride was through her gay son, who my sister went with a few years in a row. 

First things first: No one told me this when we first moved in, but I learned it from eavesdropping on my mom and Mrs. Dolly. Mrs. Dolly’s previous husband died in the trailer, in the bed that was in the master bedroom. This bed was also where my mom slept, because she couldn’t afford to get a new one. 

Now, I’ll tell you what I remember as someone looking back roughly ten years ago. (Holy shit, it’s been that long?) and as someone who was a child back then.

First of all, while living in that house, I developed an irrational fear of mirrors. Particularly, the mirror in the bathroom of the master bedroom. I refused to use that bathroom. I’d fight my mom when she’d make me take a bath or shower in there. (Oddly enough, years later and after we moved out, that bathroom is where a fire would start that burned the entire trailer down.) 

Second of all, I’ve always had vivid dreams, but while on Berry road, they developed a recurring theme. All of my dreams, though different, involved a shadow following me through the trailer. I haven’t had these since. According to my mom, this used to freak her out when I’d tell her about it, but she didn’t want to scare me. I also once dreamt that a man was sitting on our couch, dressed in a suit, and staring at the TV, which was blank. I didn’t see his face because I only walked behind him. Recently, when I told my mom this, she found it weird because the first time she’d been told about the husband, she had vividly pictured a man in a suit. 

I remember both my brother and my sister getting trapped in their rooms because their doors got stuck- a problem I never had because my room had sliding doors- and my nephew once getting trapped in the sun room around five in the morning when he was maybe two. 

Now, on to my mom’s experiences. 

I learned about all of this because, recently, we watched the Buzzfeed Unsolved episode about Hannah’s house together, and when Hannah described the knocking she heard, my mom had to pause the video. She told me that while living on Berry road, whenever she was alone in her bedroom, she’d hear what sounded like three, steady knocks coming from below the floorboards. Sometimes, when this happened, she’d try to get my sister or her boyfriend at the time into the room to listen, but it wouldn’t happen again. One of my mom’s boyfriends heard this a whole one time while he was sleeping over. 

It couldn’t have been an animal, because that would sound more like scratching or running or thumping. This was a knock. The only time my mom says she heard it not in the bedroom was when she was alone in the living room, and the sound came from the wall where my brother’s closet would be. She investigated, and nothing was there. 

My brother claims he saw movement in the reflection of his TV sometimes when it was turned off. My mom had a tendency to sleep walk while living there, which she never did before that and hasn’t done since. I think I remember Mrs. Dolly saying that sometimes things happened in her cabin that she found odd, but I don’t remember the specifics. 

All in all, its not much, but there were a lot of weird little coincidences that happened while we were there. Personally, I’m freaked out the most about the fact that my mom and I apparently pictured the same faceless man in a suit. 

[tripolarbabiesblog]

I have always fantasized the idea about love, about how beautiful and selfless it is and how happy one will be after experiencing it. Oh how I felt that having someone to love in your life would be all glitter sparkle and everything nice and fine and how I will be willing to give my everything so that that one person never lacks anything and how stupid I was to think that I'll be able to get out of it without expecting anything in return.

They say first love is always very brutal and I've always been very precocious. I've realized why realist are so critical bout these feelings and why they say "crazy" or "mad" in love.

For someone who is so sensitive, hopeless, emotional and again hopeless this sweet savoury feeling is still very dangerous.

For someone who has always avoided these feelings for the fear of having her heart broken, just having someone to like seems so deadly. But for how long was i gonna run away from this? I had to face it someday but honestly I'm still not sure if now also I'm ready to handle it and truth be told I'm not sure if that person will be able to handle me.

Falling in love w me would be a headache and list of "the because" is just never ending but i'll still name a few -

1- W me you'll never have a perfect love life, but it'll never fail to remind you that goodness still exists. I'll be like a bee sting but will inject sweet honey into your soul which will fill every crack with warmth.

2- I'm a keen observer for i will watch your every delicate move w so much intricacy that (maybe) you'll be creeped out by ever so small details that I'll tell you about you that you never bothered to notice.

3- Forgive for being an overthinker as I'll be observing every word that'll roll out of your tongue. Just one missing alphabet in your sentence will throw me in a empty abyss

of thought for hours. I'll shatter at small act of your ignorance. I'll notice every small change in your behaviours no matter how ignorable these may be. But trust me if you'll ever have a chance to enter this distressed head space you'll be amazed to see how beautifully I've painted every single picture of yours.

Ik you must be spooked already but trust me i have no control over this. Ig genetically something's wrong or probably something's wrong w the food that i eat idk. I'll continue now.

4- I'll apologize in advance for I'll never leave you alone even when you don't want to talk to me. I'll annoy you to the core until you won't tell me about your demons and how they're haunting you because i know exactly how it feels when you just want to shut out the whole world and cry your heart out all alone but the mere thought of you sleeping with your messed up thoughts and without a smile on your face doesn't sit well w me.

Hey don't call me a psychopath yet because i know there'll be time when both of us will fall short of words and that's when silence will engulf us but that would not be deafening but rather beautiful and calming.

5- I'm vvvvvv possessive and will get jealous vvvvv easily and when i say this it is not because I'm unsure about you or that I don't trust you. It is merely because I'll never be sure if I'm good enough for you, I'll always have this thought at the back of my head that you're just too good for me, you'll always be superior for me and a mere thought that someone else could make you more happy will terrify me. If you're my person, then you're my person and I'm sorry but I can't share part of you w someone else that you'd have shared w me.

6- Sometimes it'll get difficult for me walk with all the insecurities that i'll be carrying on my back and this will be the time when i'll just leave w no notice because i'll be too ashamed to show you this demonic side of my personality who needs taming from time to time. I'm too egoistic to discuss this w you but trust me when I'll be done taming it, I'll be back w much more love and affection than ever.

7- One of the important reason would be that I'm not at all how you'll want you angel to look like. My cheeks are full of freckles, nose is twisted, forehead always creased and teeth are in all the wrong places and I'm someone who'll prefer walking like a zombie than to be dressed up all the time like I'm visiting some fancy ball.

8- I'm not very good with words and maybe I won't be able to say all the right words that you'll need to hear in your times of crisis. I may not be able to console you the way you'll be needed to but in times like this I'll give you a bonecrackling hug and will not leave you until you feel safe and loved again no matter how long it takes.

So will you take me as i am?

[mystic-messenger-writing]

Hi! I love your posts a lot. May I ask for a request, like a scenario or something with RFA + Unknown... Maybe like something happened and the MC lost her memory and what they'll do next or something.. idk. Thank you very much, I'll continue to support you and your post.

You’re such a sweet anonny, thank you for the kind words!! I really liked this idea so I formatted it a bit differently. Basically, the first part, before the under the cut part, is meant to be like a prologue of what happens to MC. I did it this way because I didn’t want to be repetitive, so I hope that it’s okay! I truly hope that you enjoy!! ^^

You and your lover were driving to a secluded nature reserve for a date. The two of you kept looking into each other’s eyes lovingly, it was officially your first anniversary as a couple. Your lover took one of their hands off the steering wheel of the car to take a hold of your own hand in a loving gesture. The two of you looked into each other’s eyes one more time before you heard a loud crash, the last thing you saw was the look of horror on your lover’s face before everything went dark.

“She should be waking up soon, let me know when she does.” He doctor told your very anxious lover as he headed to treat another patient.

A drunk driver hit your car that day, somehow your lover survived with only a few scratches while you were barely alive. You lover was snapped out of their thoughts when you stirred awake, they happily asked if you were alright. But your answer would haunt them for who knows how long as you said

“I’m sorry but who are you? And where am I, or rather… who am I?”

Yoosung

The second those questions left your mouth, tears streamed down Yoosung’s cheeks

“W-what do you mean? You’re MC silly!”

“M-MC? That’s me? I’m sorry but again, I don’t really remember anything.”

Yoosung used both of his hands to cover his tear-soaked face, he couldn’t believe that his own reckless driving caused you to lose your memories

“Um excuse me, but you said my name is MC, does that mean you know me? Are we friends or something? What’s your name?”

Wiping away the last of his tears, Yoosung determinedly grabbed your hand, gently rubbing the back of your palm as he said

“Yes I know you MC, I know almost everything about you! I know your favorite color, favorite type of music, even what you like on top of your pizza! Believe or not, I’m actually your boyfriend. My name’s Yoosung and I promise to tell you everything about you.”

From that moment on, Yoosung did whatever he could to help trigger your memories back in any way

He stopped playing video games and even took some time off of school in order to help with your recovery

You would only rarely get memories of your past back, making you feel discouraged but Yoosung was always there to support you

No matter what it would take, Yoosung would find a way to retrieve your memories but until then, you learned everything about yourself from your loving boyfriend

Zen

Zen holds back his tears and puts on a convincing smile that only a true actor could do

“You’re funny Jagiya, now come on, let’s tell the doctor that you’re awake and fine and go home.”

“Huh? Is ‘Jagiya’ my name or something? Do you know me or something?”

Zen’s heart was breaking at the seams, if only he had been more careful driving his motorcycle then he wouldn’t have to endure this immense feeling of guilt

But this was Zen’s mistake, he was going to help you regain your memory no matter what

“Haha no sorry, Jagiya is a nickname that I call you. Your real name is MC and you’re the most beautiful, talented, graceful, and wonderful person that I know. My name is Zen and I’m even lucky enough to call you my girlfriend.”

Your eyes lit up and a small blush spread across your cheeks to the tips of your ears as Zen noticed you suddenly became more bashful

“S-so you mean to me that I’m dating you? But you’re like, the most handsome man I’ve ever seen! I must’ve done something right to have someone like you in my life.”

There was his MC, his perfect girlfriend

Zen stayed at home with you as much as he could, showing you some small videos of you and him singing together to try and jog your memories

He’d sing you to sleep every night, making sure you were fast asleep before he let himself cry over the guilt

Zen wouldn’t rest until he helped you gain your memories back, it was his duty as your boyfriend to do so, thus began the long mission that he would fulfill someday

Jaehee

Jaehee holds her head in shame as she soon realizes how much damage she caused because of careless driving

She didn’t want to sugar-coat things, Jaehee decided at that moment on to face this problem head on since she caused it

“You’re name is MC and mine is Jaehee. You… you lost your memories because of a car crash. It’s all my fault MC, I was the only driving and caused all of this, I’m so sorry but I promise you that I’ll help you get your memories back alright?”

“You seem like such a nice person! I how that we were good friends, I’d love to have a friend just like you!”

At that moment, Jaehee realized how much it sucked being called a friend instead of a lover so she made a mental note of never calling you they again

“We’re actually girlfriends MC and I love you with all of my heart, we’re going to get your memories back together.”

“That’s good and all, but I’m more happy for the fact that we’re girlfriends! Thank you so much Jaehee, lets do this together!”

So Jaehee because your personal caretaker, trying all different kinds of techniques like brewing your favorite type of coffee to help trigger some memories back

Things weren’t easy for either one of you, there were days when the two of you just wanted to give up - But Jaehee never did, she wouldn’t stop until the day you had all of your memories back

Jumin

Jumin didn’t believe it, or rather, he didn’t want to believe the damage he had caused

He’ll always blame himself for letting you convince him drive that day, he knew he should have just been stubborn and told you no

But moping around wasn’t Jumin’s plan, he was going to fix this, he was going to get your memories back no matter the cost

“MC. That’s your name. You’re the most imaginative and kind person I know. This is all my own fault so I promise you that I’ll get your memories back.”

“Er, thank you sir. You seem like such a selfless and important man yourself so please, don’t worry about me sir.”

He felt his heart shatter, even in your state you were more worried about him then your own self

“My name’s Jumin, not sir. And you’re my girlfriend MC so no task is too big if it involves you. I will help you MC, you’ll get your memories back.”

“Alright thank you sir Jumin!”

Even with no memories, you still managed to make Jumin crack a smile

He took some time off of work to be with you and show you all kinds of photos, videos, and items to try and get your memories back

Only the best doctors were hired to help retrieve your memories and they all believed that you were truly making progress

Jumin would do anything to help you, you helped him deal with his own emotional issues, he hoped dearly that your memories would come back to you but until then, he would be there to help you every step of the way

Seven

Was Seven always going to be cursed to ruin the lives of the one’s he loved?

He hated himself so much for trying to show off his driving skills in one of his precious cars, but that was the past and Seven knew that he needed to help you

“You’re name is MC and I’m Saeyoung. We were in a car crash and it seems like you lost all of your memories. I’m so, so sorry MC, I know that you can never forgive but please let me try to show you how sorry I am!“

Seven was grasping onto your hand, his head lowered in shame as tears started cascading down his face

"Saeyoung huh… that’s a nice name! You seem to care about me a lot, thank you but you don’t have to be sorry. I’m sure it was just an accident.”

How you could be so kind and forgiving even through you had zero memories about your life is something that Seven would never understand

“Okay I’ll start right now! So you’re MC, you’re a party coordinator for a group called the RFA. We’re dating and I’m madly in love with you. You think I’m funny even though a lot of other people would disagree. And-”

“Easy now Saeyoung, lets go a little bit slower okay? Why don’t we start talking after I get released from the hospital.“

From that day on, Seven was always by your side, giving you all kinds of facts about yourself to help recover your memories

Your progress was almost non-existent and every night when Seven made sure you were fast asleep, he’d go to his own room and cry as the feeling of guilt never left

But Seven never gave up and he never would give up, not until you got your memories back so he could finally marry you at the space station

Unknown

Saeran knew that happiness never lasted long in his miserable life

His jaw clenched when you asked him those questions, why did someone as innocent and kind as you have to be the harmed and not him?

"You’re… my MC. I just- I’m so sorry, this is all my fault.”

Saeran stood up and quickly made his way to the door, not wanting to burden you any more with his presence as well as not wanting you to see him cry

“Wait! You still haven’t told me your name. Please, don’t go. I’m confused and no one else is here to see me so that must mean we know each other right?”

As much as Saeran wanted to walk right out of your life and let you be, he couldn’t

He wasn’t going to run away or be like his idiot brother and push you away, Saeran was going to get your memories back

“I’m Saeran. We were… a couple. I’m going to help you get your memories back alright? Now let’s go, I hate hospitals.”

So Saeran started taking you to familiar places, such as the ice cream shoppe and the park, to try and help recover your memories

He’d tell you stories about your past along with his own, being completely honest with every word that he said

Saeran knew that you may never get your memories back but one thing he knew for sure: he would never stop trying nor would he never stop loving you

[wizard-in-olympus]

1 - 102 and if you answer them all i'll do the same.. thats the deal

its a deal then

this is gonna be long

                                                         1. Think of the last person who said I love     you, do you think they meant it?                                    

it was mydad so, yeah                           

2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age     you are now?

        im 18, so obviously i would

3. When’s the last time you were aggravated     and happy at the same time?

when i left college, 5 months ago. i’ll be back next semester

4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?

i’ve done it, what’s the big deal?

5. Is there someone mad because you’re     dating/talking to the person you are?

i dont think she knows and i dont think she’d even care

6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of     someone today? 

yeah andit was awful

 7. What exactly are you wearing right     now?

i’ve heard that line right there too many times, you sound like a 15 yearold trying to get nudes. anyways, im wearing blue pjs

8. How often do you listen to music?

on long rides, while studying, while doing chores, while reading, whilewasting my time on social media. so, most of the time i guess

9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more? 

jeans

10. Do you think your life will change     dramatically before 2015?                   

ok its 2017 already but im gonna change it to “...change dramaticallybefore 2018?″. not so much, it has changed a lot in a year already

11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?

social

12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name     begins with the letter ‘A’?

yes, my guy best friend, we were both drunk, shit happens. it kind ofbrought us together as friends hahaha

13. What about ‘R’?

no

14. Can you drive a stick shift? 

thats the only type of vehicle i drive

15. Do you care if people talk badly about     you?

i’d like to say no but yeah, i do. it depends on what people tho

16. Are you going out of town soon?

probably tomorrow. i go “out of town” a lot

17. When was the last time you cried?

i dont remember. about two months ago i think

18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?

yeah.huge mistake

19. If you could change your eye color, would     you?

maybe i’d change my eyes from hazel to a deeper green

20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely     everything for?

i thinkso

21. Name something you dislike about the day     you’re having.

i haven’t finished the essay i was gonna present today, now i’ll have topresent it tomorrow                                                      

22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your     forehead?

i loveit, yesss

23. Are you dating the last person you talked     to?

no

24. What are you sitting on right now?

my couch

25. Does anyone regularly (other than family)     tell you they love you?

my bestfriend

26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t     have?

i do

27. Who was the last person you talked to     before you went to bed last night?

mybrother

28. Do you get a lot of colds?

no, i get colds once a year, twice a year tops

  29. Where is the shirt you are wearing     from?

idk, idc

 30. Does anyone hate     you?

i thinkso. im sorry

31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles     hidden somewhere in your room?

no, im asocial drinker

32. Do you like watching scary movies?

hate them

33. Do you want your tongue pierced?

hell no

34. If you had to delete one year of your life     completely, which would it be?

either 2014 or 2015. big parts of 2016 too... maybe a little bit of thisone but its been the best year i’ve ever lived since 2013.

35. Did you have a dream last night?

yeah, the seniors in my old high school were 10x better than last yearseniors -when i was a senior- and teachers loved them (teachers hated mygeneration) and they all graduated from IB and had their diplomas linned up inthe hall (i didnt graduated from IB or get the diploma and everyone hated me bci was the only student in my generation that failed and so no one could say“gen16 was a 100% IB generation! the first one in this high school!” bc of me)

36. When was the last time you told someone     you loved them?

a coupleof weeks ago

37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?

i hopenot

38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?

a couple of people, tiny andd small feelings but i now they do

39. Do you think someone is thinking about you     right now?

maybe wondering what happened to me, yeah. but probably no one is

40. Did you have a good day yesterday?

yes, areally good one

41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a     relationship?

not a serious one but yeah

42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out     with a girl?

yeah, lots of girls. but im a girl and i like boys so who cares if ihang out with a girl

43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to     ever lose you?

yes and lots of times and they did lose me. i just couldn’t handle themany longer, my patience couldn’t take it anymore, it had been YEARS of dealingwith the same shit and enough was enough. but i couldn’t break theirheart so i just told them i had changed and left. that probably makes me anasshole but idc

44. What’s the best part about school?

meeting new people all the time, learning new amazing things and gettingto test them and the late night bar celebrations when we nailed a test

45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?

of course, why wouldn’t i?

46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in     school?

i used to do that in 7th grade, not anymore

47. Do you replay things that have happened in     your head?

yes i wish i could change so many things, so many situations in which idid the wrong thing

48. Were you single over the last summer?

oh yeah and i had never been so happy of being single

49. Is your life anything like it was two     years ago?

just a little bit but it has changed A LOT and im grateful for it

50. What are you supposed to be doing right     now?

finishingmy essay...

51. Do you hate the last guy you had a     conversation with?

im hating him rn but most of the time i love that guy. stupid guys

52. Are you nice to everyone?

most people. im not nice to one single person but im nice to the rest ofthe human population. fuck that bitch tho

53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t     expect to?

i’ve only liked people i didn’t expect to. except one guy probably.

54. Do you think you can last in a     relationship for 6 months and not cheat?

i’ve never cheated, i think i can last a lifetime without cheating.cheating is a horrible thing to do, i don’t wish it on anybody

 55. Are you good at hiding your     feelings?

i used to be very good, lately i suck at it but idc anymore, its ok

56. Do you think you like someone?

kind of

57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts     with a ‘J’?

yes and i would do it again

58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or     boys?

girls are sketchy, boys are chill. i get along better with guys but theyare also clueless idiots so... some guys

59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you     cry?

yes

60. Do you hate anyone?

no

61. How’s your heart?

confused but healthy and happy like it hasn’t been in years

62. Is there something that happened in your past     that you hate talking about?

plenty ofthings

63. Have you ever cried over a guy?

no and i dont plan on ever doing it

64. Who is probably talking a load of crap     about you right now?

the same boring bitches that always have, “”friends”“ and also their stupidparents that care too much about what i do with my life. fuck off

65. Are your toenails painted pink?

no

66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?

i really hope not, not again

67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry;     correct?

no, i hate sensitive, dramatic people. if he cries for a good reasonthen ok but i wouldn’t love it, i’d be sad for him too

68. Have your pants ever fallen down in     public?

no

69. Who was the last person you were on the     phone with?

my bestfriend from Peru

70. How do you look right now?

ok, butmessy

71. Do you have someone you can be your     complete self around?

plenty of people (family and friends), im an open book                 

72. Can you commit to one person?

yes, but it looks like however made this questions cant

73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex     you can tell everything to?

thought i did, turns out i dont

74. Have you ever felt replaced?

yes, a couple of times. always by friends tho

75. Did you wake up cranky?

not today, i had an amazing night of sleep

76. Are you a jealous person?

no

77. Are relationships ever worth it?

yes yes yes, SO WORTH IT. you just have to find the right person

78. Anyone you’re giving up on?

not rn

79. Currently wanting to see anyone?

more like craving to see him. fuck my life

80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?

turn in this stupid essay i’ve mentioned twice already

81. Last person you cried in front of?

bestfriend

82. Is there someone you will never forget?

yeah

83. Do you think the person you have feelings     for is protective of you?

a littlebit

84. If the person you wish to be with were     with you, what would you be doing right now?

probably taking a walk and talking and staring at his beautiful smile

85. Are you over your past?

most of it. the latest “past” is still haunting me but im getting overit slowly

86. Have you ever liked one of your best     friends of the opposite sex?

not morethan physical attraction

87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING     to?

three tofour people

88. If your first true love knocked on your     door with apology and presents, would you accept?

if i had one i could answer this. i think i kind of did and i wouldn’taccept it

89. So, the last person you kissed just     happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

what do you want??, what is the matter with you??, what on earth are youdoing here?? FUCK OFF.

90. Have you ever liked someone who your     friends hated?

yes                                                 

91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?

no

92. Is there anyone you know with the name     Michael?

yeah

93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?

i live in Costa Rica, im latina. guys here have names like “Jose, JuanPablo, Andres, Gerardo, Alonso”, not “Matthew, James”. so of course i haven’t

94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?

no and i lived the single life at its finest

95. Were you happy with the person you liked     in March?

no

96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you     texted attractive?

he’s a fucking model for fuck’s sakes, he’s a GOD. he’s so hot. why am ifriends with him?? itcomplicates everything

97. Who do you have texts from?

my best friends, my guy friends, my family group chat, my girl friendsgroup chats, my crush

98. If the person you like says they like     someone else, what would you say?

thats great, and do you think she likes you? hey good luck! *pretends idont have feelings and keeps on being a good friends*

99. Have you ever kissed someone older than     you?

the first person i ever kissed was a year older than me

100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?

ok in my tumblr icon im with my best friend, in my whatsapp, twitter andfacebook profile pictures im alone

101. Ever kissed under     fireworks?

no

  102. Has anybody ever given you     butterflies?

no

done!  that took me like an hour damn... sorry to the people who’s dashboard i interrupted with this post

[softedwin]

Not sure if I'll ever get over the fact that Even's story is done. Like it's just a shame that we will probably never hear his side of things, or the 'real' reason for the fight (I still can't believe it was out of jealousy that Isak hit Mikael, I mean one moment he was happy singing the next he's punching someone - very ooc for me - Isak does get jealous e.g. S1 but I feel like it takes a LOT for him to be jealous) ½

Then we have the whole Even + Mikael which doesn't make sense because Mikael has had virtually no lines, and it doesn't really add up that Even would kiss Mikael. Idk if you've read the Even actually kissed Yousef theories, but that theory is probably most likely what happened, however it's probably not going to happen anymore 2/2 so do you think it's likely we'll see more of Even's story?

oh god don’t remind me!! I’m rewatching the clip from ep4 where yousef dropped the bomb and I got so mad again because we will never hear Even’s side. like the story had so much potential and I think hearing it would have meant a lot to people (definitely meant a lot to me, still does!). I’m so mad Julie threw all of that out of the window and just had them make up off screen without giving us any explanation. I understand that it’s hard, considering it’s Sana’s season and she would need to be there in order for us to see it which might be a bit weird, yeah, but we deserve that explanation. (she could have at least given us a sana x even talk, like where he could have explained the situation to her. at least that way we would have had an explanation.) and honestly, no, I will never believe that Isak started the fight because he was “a little jealous”. Yes, Isak is unable to control himself when he’s emotional (just look at 3x05 where he pushes Mahdi) but because he was a bit jealous? I don’t buy it. There must have been something else that had set him off. You would think that after everything Even and Isak have been through, after all these months, that Isak would be confident enough in their relationship and not get so insecure this easily. Ever since we saw the fight scene, it was obvious for me that Isak started the fight because it wouldn’t be ooc. But starting the fight out of jealousy? definitely ooc. especially now he’s super chill around Mikael, like nothing has ever happened. Yeah, I don’t buy this at all. None of this makes sense and I’m pissed Julie isn’t going to explain any of this.

hmm I think it would make sense that Even tried to kiss Mikael? at least for me, because they were “best buddies” and all. so I can kinda see Even developing feelings for him. where it stops making sense for me is when Yousef said that Mikael completely freaked out, etc. He’s the most affectionate out of all the balloon squad and my bet right now is that he’s not straight either, so I think he would be chill about it? maybe it was more of a situation where your best friend tries to kiss you but you don’t have any feelings for him and maybe you freak out a bit but afterwards you’re chill about it. and when Elias said that he tried kissing Mikael, it didn’t sound like Mikael was mad or something idk. Elias made it sound like it wasn’t that big of a deal but then again, Elias made it sound like none of this was a big deal and like one of his friends didn’t try to kill himself (if he even knew about it). And yes, I’ve read those theories and they also make sense to me tbh. Like that’s what I initially thought because the way he describes Mikael doesn’t add up to his actual characterization (at least what we’ve seen of him), it would fit Yousef’s personality so much more. idk man it both makes sense to me? but Yousef and Even are definitely linked somehow because Yousef seems to be affected the most whenever they talk about Even. I don’t know what to think anymore, and if Julie won’t answer this, it’ll forever haunt me. I will not rest until I have answers.

but to answer your question after my long rant: I try to keep hoping that we’ll see it, that Julie won’t disappoint. but I fear we might not see it at all since they basically all made up, soo, what’s the point, y’know? like why should they bring it up again when it’s basically solved? I don’t know what else is to come. We have one week and a half left. We have basically only the Yousana plot left since everything else seems to be solved? The buss, Even and the guys, the fight, Noorhelm. So we’re only left with Yousana but if Yousef really leaves on Saturday, we have a week left with what exactly? Julie can’t throw any more new stuff in it, so she has to work with what she has right now, and dear god do I hope it’s got to do with Even. Even deserves to tell his side of the story and I am tired of others constantly telling it for him or even going so far as to trivialize it. tbh Julie needs to give us this in order to redeem herself a lil bit for how she has been treating him all season long (although I doubt I will ever fully forgive her for this, no matter if she’s giving us an explanation). So, I’m really torn. I hope we’ll see more of his story but at the same time I don’t wanna get my hopes up because at this point I’m 80% sure we won’t get any further explanation of his story.