#but idk i just would like to see a little more variation maybe

[nightowlfury]

i guess idk. typecasting is smth that personally frustrates me a little

[queers-gambit]

Ignorance is Bliss

prompt: turns out, you didn't care if they fucked - it's her job. you do, however, care that your husband's been confiding in her more than you. -> or in which your husband has an emotional affair.

pairing: Aemond Targaryen x female!wife!reader platonic pairing: Aegon Targaryen x mean!bestie!reader

fandom masterlist: House of the Dragon

collection masterlist: Pumpkin Eater - coming soon!

word count: 3.2k+

note: because we don't explicitly see them fucking, this is an emotional affair. cool? cool.

warnings: kinda AU timeline so very small spoilers, alcohol consumption, Aegon's a gossipy little bitch, kinda mean!reader, self doubt, not all cheating is physical - this is a single variation. cursing, established relationship / wife!reader, relationship angst, generalized angst, hurt no comfort, feelings are hard. Aemond's a dick, ONE SHOT, abrupt ending, drama, technically friends to lovers, is this a toxic relationship? idk, maybe. not edited. requires maturity and caution.

"Oooooohhhhh, sis-teeeerrrrr! Sister, where art thou!?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake," you snarled quietly, dropping the book in your hands to your lap in defeat. "Is nowhere sacred?"

"Sister! Sister, dearest! Hello? Your little handmaiden said you were down here! Wheeeeere arrreeeeee yoooouuuuuuuu?"

"This fucking lecher will wake the whole bloody Keep," you shook your head with a scoff. Then, with a raised voice, you called, "Over here, Aegon!"

"Who's here!?"

"Left!"

"It's dark - where's Left!?"

"Oh, Gods, walk straight ahead of you!" You watched as the King slowly revealed himself, turning every which way. "Okay, halt." He did, hands held out carefully. "Turn a little... No, no, over here, mate - to your left... Your left... Your LEFT! Aegon, your other left!"

"Oh, hoooo!" Aegon giggled when he spun in a complete circle before pausing upon his sight of you - sitting beneath the Heart Tree in the Godswood. "There you are, sister! Oh, you look glorious tonight!"

"Fuck off with your fake compliments, Aegon, what do you want?"

"Perhaps I am merely happy to see you!"

"You're never authentic, tell me what you want. Why do you seek me?"

"Well, that's no way to speak to your King."

"I am speaking to my brother-by-law."

"Not your friend?" He pouted dramatically before dropping to the spot beside you in the dirt, groaning, "Oh, how do you sit like this? It's - It's miserable. The bloody roots... Here, I got this, this will help, make it allllllll better," he wriggled around to pull his flask from his belt.

"How much have you had to drink tonight, friend?"

"Enough," he assured, taking a swig, "but this is mostly for you."

"Oh, I'm fine - "

"I think you'll need it, sister."

"Why's that?"

"I have something toooo telllll yoooouuuuu," he sang with a devilish grin.

"I truly don't care for petty gossip - "

"It's about Aemond."

"Spill, bitch."

"Okay, so," Aegon and you both readjusted to face one another in your respected cradles of the Heart Tree's roots, "do you know where he was tonight?"

"Am I to track his every move?"

"It was a mere question, sister, c'mon, play along and humor me."

With a sigh, you relented with a shrug, "He was... Supposedly in the library."

"Wrong," he handed over the flask, "he was in a brothel!" You lifted the flask to your lips and took a slow pull, narrowing your eyes in suspicion. "I swear it, we walked in on him! I would not lie to you! Well, not about this!"

Gulping, you pondered, "Hmm... Who's 'we'?"

"Myself and, uh, some of the Kingsguard who had yet to be blooded... If you catch my meaning."

"Everyone always catches your meanings, you wouldn't know subtly if it smacked you in the face," you chuckled dryly, taking another swig. "Where were you? Which brothel?"

"Sylvie's? Whatever her name is - the one with the lion's head door knocker."

With another nod of understanding, you asked, "And who was he with? Just one woman?"

"Yes, yes, just the Madam of the House."

"I see... Hm... Wait, do you mean - "

"The woman he lost his boyhood to?" Aegon snickered, "Yes!"

"I was going to say the brothel owner, but all right. Do keep in mind you're not just exchanging gossip, Aegon, but telling a wife you found her husband in a brothel," you sighed, nodding and knocking back one last shot.

"Right, no, you're right," he cleared his throat. "I apologize for sounding so... Um, uh, insensitive?"

You snorted slightly in amusement, knowing he never apologized to anyone but you because he never cared for what others thought. It was a foreign sound on his tongue, so you took mercy and moved on, sighing deeply and revealing, "In truth, my friend, I think I'm just shocked."

"Ah, well, that's to be expected, innit? Every wife is."

"Is yours?"

"No," Aegon snickered. "But I have to admit, after seeing how he pined and begged me to set you two up, I did not think my brother could ever be the type to cheat."

"Nor I. It's why I let you arrange our betrothal."

"Are you angry?"

"I'm processing."

"Well - "

"Aegon, shut your trap for just a moment," you pleaded. "It's a lot to take in and process, I'm unsure what I feel in this moment."

He paused and nodded, breathing deeply before taking a swig from his flask. "Are you angry at me, though?" Aegon asked softly, like a wounded child - akin to who he was on the inside.

"About what?" You asked patiently.

"Telling you...?"

You heaved a deep sigh, "No, no, my friend. I appreciate knowing, though, you took far too much pleasure in telling me."

"Well, in my defense, it was quite humorous to find him in such a position."

"I don't wish to know - "

"They were cuddling!"

You couldn't help the small chuckle that burst forth, asking his drunken person, "So?"

"Well, it's weird, is it not? To cuddle with a woman you pay to fuck you?"

"Some men have paid for weirder things, cuddling is the least of it."

"Are you trying to rationalize your husband's cheating?"

"No, just - defending different tastes?"

"You sound in denial."

"Perhaps I am."

"Have another shot," he insisted, nudging the flask closer.

"No, I should, uh... I should head back, confront Aemond."

"He might already be there, he left in a real big huff."

You sighed and nodded, "Tell me something in truth, please, Aegon?"

"Now would be the best time," he snickered, but nodded and gestured you to continue.

"Cheating doesn't mean he's... Unhappy, does it?"

"It could mean anything, everything, honey. Do you truly believe it's cheating when we aren't meant for just a single person to begin with?"

"What're you on about?"

"Well, no one person can be everything to anyone. Right?"

The entire walk to your chambers, Aegon's words echoed in your head. You had to admit, you understood where he was coming from, what he meant; but you hated the concept that cheating could be excused because humans weren't 'simply' monogamous. What a pathetic excuse, humans were capable of a great many things - being loyal and trustworthy among them! You oft heard it said you were only ever asking too much if from the wrong person, and the idea that Aemond was your "wrong person" to ask anything from gutted you in a surprising way. To say you were caught off guard was an understatement.

He was supposed to be your friend and husband, what happened to that trust?

You barged into your chambers, shutting the door in a flurried rush as you were desperate to speak with your husband; who you married at the age of ten-and-five after years of companionship. Your family had serviced the Targaryens for ages, it was only natural you grew alongside the newest brood; finding an unlikely, lasting friendship with Aegon, of all people. It was surprising, but the pair of you seemingly needed someone to lean on, so you developed a friendship to keep the other in line; something you obviously failed at.

YET - if Aegon would say humans are not monogamous, you'd argue humans had free will and made their own decisions. So, the little lecher should be held accountable for how he turned out as much as Aemond should be questioned about what was seen in the brothel.

It was Aegon who set you up with his brother. Aegon who supported your courtship. Aegon who instigated your engagement. Aegon who told you your husband was found in a brothel, cuddled up to the Madam... Naked.

Upon your inspection, Aemond wasn't back yet.

For mere fleeting moments, you despised being alone, finding the silence haunting; your chambers too big, too empty, too cold without your husband's usual warmth. However, the moment you thought of him in a whorehouse, laid naked with a woman not you, rage returned ten fold; burning bright and white-hot in your gut. You needed to nip this curious situation in the bud. Tonight. By confronting him. No matter how scary or anxiety inducing it surely will be.

So, you waited.

With a glass of wine, you settled in your living quarters; tucked on the loveseat with nothing keeping the thoughts at bay. They were terribly invasive, forcing you to relive your discovery and accept your husband preferred the company of whores over you. Forced to accept he was cheating on you. You waited.

Maids entered your chambers for nightly chores, even letting you remain in place, facing the door, when fixing your hair in loose braids for sleep. They turned your bed down, placed hot coals under the blankets, refilled wine decanters, and lit the candles in each corner of your suite. Aemond's prolonged absence might've been cause for concern if you hadn't been cursed to know where he was. You waited.

Yet that anger was dulling into something more alined with annoyance to learn he lied. "If he wants to fuck painted whores, let him fuck painted whores," you thought, "it's the lying and deception I am uncomfortable with! What need could he have for lying about his whereabouts? Was this an affair of some sort? Was it just my flesh he desecrated or our wedding vows, too? If he wanted to fuck whores, that was fine - it was just their job, they did this for coin. Yet if this was an affair of some sort - like the rumors of Prince Daemon and his mysterious whore he lifted from the ashes - I don't know how to move past that. Please, please, Gods, let this just be him wanting to fuck painted whores." You waited.

Your leg bounced, a fresh decanter of wine being presented and set upon the table you sat before. Nerves prickled your skin, tension coiled your stomach, heart hammering so intensely that it nearly beat out of every pulse point; so you reached for your chalice to quell the erratic speed in which everything throbbed. Polishing off any drop of wine, you felt warmed to your core - though, whether from the alcohol or anger, who could tell? You waited.

Your ladies maid lingered after the others filtered out; laying out an acceptable night gown, dressing robe, and house shoes the Dornish called "slippers". She tried to goad you into changing into them, but you insisted you would later. When she questioned you, you answered your business tonight was not yet concluded and you could not yet prepare for bed. Kindly, she asked if there was anything she could assist you with, but all that was left was to refill your goblet with a worried gaze before being dismissed for the night. Still, you waited.

Until, finally, after hours of isolation, your husband returned. He didn't seem to notice you yet, whipping off his cloak in a flourish only to drape it over the back of a perpendicular chair. When he noticed you, he jumped slightly, "Gods, love, what're you doing? I wasn't expecting to see you there."

"No shit."

"Why're you out here? Awake?" He asked, dropping into a padded arm chair so he faced you. In truth, you were grateful since either the wine or acute anxiety prevented you from finding your feet. "Oh, I see," he purred. "Can't sleep without me, can yah?" Aemond's lips curled at the corners.

"I'll sleep easier after you confess."

"To what charge, my darling?" Aemond reached for your thigh, but you swatted him away. With a sigh, he sassily requested in a quip, "It's been a long night, just tell me what you're upset about, I won't play these games."

"You're disrespecting the vows and sanctity of our marriage by visiting brothels! What an insult to spend the Crown's coin on such foul debauchery, Aemond, you were supposed to be a better man than this!"

He froze, staring at you without blinking. Then, slowly, Aemond asked, "What?"

"I know, Aemond! I know about Madam Sylvie." Then, to your shock and horror, Aemond chuckled; leaning back in his chair, hand raising to curl over his lips as if to hide his amusement. You shot out of your seat, "Oh, fuck you, then - "

"No, no!" Aemond rocketed to his feet, two long strides bringing him to your side. His hand grabbed your upper arm, "No, my love, listen to me - you do not understand - "

"You went into a brothel, it's not a riddle, there's nothing for you to explain nor for me to further understand, I am no fool," you snapped, allowing him turn you so you faced him.

"I did nothing of the sorts with her - with anyone."

"I'm not so ignorant nor foolish. You forget, I grew up with you and Aegon! Our own King Lecher!"

"I swear to you, my sweet wife, I have not lain with anyone since our marraige but you."

"How can you stand there and lie to me? Aegon saw you! Naked with her, in bed!"

Your husband took a deep and long breath, then told you slowly, "When I was ten-and-three, Aegon took me to the Street of Silk."

You nodded with a small roll of your eyes, "Yes, I know."

"The woman who I laid with - she's a Madam, yes, named Sylvie."

"So... You... You visit the woman you lost your virginity to?"

He sighed, "Yes, and I know it sounds strange."

"It's borderline wretched, Aemond, to us, this relationship. You are not making the case you think - "

"Please, allow me a moment to finish explaining?"

You've never seen or heard Aemond beg, so you nodded slowly, "Speak."

"I visit Madam Sylvie... Because she's the only other woman I've lain with. There's a certain level of... Comfort that goes beyond her payment. I lay with her, yes, but only together, in bed, without ever fucking."

"You just, what? Cuddle?"

"Yes."

This made you pause. With several flutters of your lashes, you asked, "W-Why?"

"I felt I was bringing home to you too much tension and strain... This war takes its toll on us all, so I go to Sylvie to unload and... Be vulnerable? Have an outlet?"

You're unsure how long you must've stood there in genuine confusion, earnest hurt, prolonged disappointment, but jolted when he tugged you forward towards the loveseat again. After he guided you to stiffly sit, you met his eyes with confused tears while he asked, "My love? Would you say something? Anything?"

"How... How long?" You managed to croak.

"Only a few visits."

"And you've not fucked her?"

"I've not fucked her."

"You just... Lay together, naked, and what? Talk?"

"Yes."

"W-What?"

"I fear I do not know what else I can clarify, love."

You just nodded and leaned back in your seat, sighing deeply. Aemond mimicked your position beside you and tentatively picked up your hand to hold. You swallowed thickly, asking, "So, you've not slept with Madam Sylvie?"

"No."

"You go to her for some kind of emotional comfort?"

"I suppose."

You nodded slowly. "You just talk... Naked, in bed, laid together, and talk."

"Yes. It is a grave comfort in this time of uncertainty."

You couldn't help but snip, "And I do not provide such comfort?"

"Darling girl - "

"What do you speak of to Madam Sylvie that you cannot speak to me about? What comfort can she provide that you cannot seek in me? What insights to this war can she provide that you cannot hear from me?"

Aemond froze, blinking in shock and letting his thin lips part without words. "It is... You are not serious, are you?" He suddenly snipped.

"Deadly," You assured.

"You're angry at me for speaking to another woman?"

"It's more than that and you know it. You lay in a private bed of a public whorehouse, naked! Open! Vulnerable! You speak to her as you do a wife - as you do me! You seek her ear when you neglect mine own!"

"Do you hear yourself?" He chuckled cruelly. "I have never fucked her, yet you grow angry - irritable! You pick this fight with me when all I do is unload my burdens - "

"What burdens!? What burdens do you have that I do not already know of!? That you cannot speak to me about?"

You both stood off the loveseat - taking several paces in opposite directions to distinguish space and sides of this fight. "Perhaps that is what I seek! An unbiased ear! An opinion untainted by the venoms of the vipers of the Red Keep! Someone removed, uninvolved! Someone on the outside that - that - "

"That will what, Aemond? Take your side?"

"Yes! Perhaps that is something I seek!"

"You pay a woman to tell you woe is me!?"

"You make it sound so vain - "

"How would you phrase it, then!?"

"That I need an outlet! With everything going on, I needed something more!"

You nodded sarcastically, "Well, you'll be needing her for more than an emotional outlet from now on, won't you?"

"What's that supposed to mean?" Aemond watched you storm away, following hot on your trail, barking, "Hey! Don't walk away - I'm speaking to you!"

"You know," you pushed into your bedchambers, "I didn't think you'd be the one to belittle my feelings so easily!"

"I fail to see how this is even an issue! Why're you - what're you doing, now!?"

"You being blind to my feelings is why I think we should spend a few days apart," you snarled, shoving a few items into a carpet bag and rushing in a flurry to grab necessities and comforts of 'home'.

"Fine."

You paused, glaring at him and asking, "What? That's it?"

"You wish for a fight?"

"Anything - "

"I told you, I will not play games. So, fine; leave," he shrugged. "I certainly won't be."

"Oh? That so?" You challenged - obviously already planning on leaving, but wanting to test him.

"I'm the Prince," he eased, "you're the one married into this family, I will not be the one to vacate these chambers. So, fine, flee, go, take your things and be gone. I'll send for the maids and have a chamber prepared for you, take your time packing the rest of your items."

You watched him charge from the chamber and slowly lowered onto the edge of the bed behind you; crumpling the laid out nightclothes while pulling the carpet bag closer to your chest. Blinking rapidly, you fought back tears and decided that perhaps your marriage was too far gone if your husband was so willing and nonchalant about you wanting distance post his breech of trust. He had evidently emotionally moved past you, something you hadn't realized was happening in real time before it was too late; and now, you were left to reel in the aftermath.

Why did Aegon have to tell you? Why did you have to know? They say Ignorance is Bliss, and if you didn't know, you and Aemond would be right as rain right now. He could have all the alone time with Madam Sylvie he wanted and you'd be none the wiser. But now that the cat was out of the bag, you were cursed with knowledge and felt incapable of processing, accepting, and moving forward in the wake of this emotional betrayal.

You didn't see Aemond the rest of the night, just the nightshift maids, errand boys, and guards who helped you gather your belongings and usher you into a new chamber... Three floors away from Prince Aemond, further evidence he perhaps did not intend to mend the tattered threads of your torn matrimony.

requesting rules and masterlist

Pumpkin Eater collection masterlist - coming soon!

HOTD masterlist

NO INTENDED SEQUEL

[lindseybots]

(Click for better quality.) Based on an au that popped in my brain the other day that STILL refuses to leave me. I made a brief, bare basics post about this yesterday (featured under the break).

To expand on it a bit though, I feel like WW Link’s appearance would reflect how he looked during his adventures. That is to say, regardless of the fact he looks like a kid, I like to think he lived a long happy life. Still, I feel like his adventures had the biggest impact on the rest of his life, and I felt his appearance as a ghost/spirit would reflect that. I’m still trying to decide if I want to have him wearing his Outset outfit or the iconic green tunic. Maybe he can switch between the two as he pleases? Idk. 🤷‍♀️

I feel like ST Link grows up calling WW Link “Wind” or even various variations of “Sailor”. I know the “Wind” nickname has been used in a lot of Link crossover stuff, and I love it and it obviously fits him well. Plus, Niko definitely tells ST Link all about “the Hero of Winds”. ST Link’s a smart kid. He eventually connects the dots. I want WW Link to have a nickname for ST Link too. A term of endearment kinda thing more than anything else, y’know? I’m still deciding on what the nickname(s) would be though.

Transcript under the cut.

Niko: Just sit tight little Link. Ol’ Niko’ll take good care of ya.

I better go see about ordering supplies… How do I get food for him? maybe Alfonzo could bring some from Castle Town and then I could see about…

WW Link: Niko!! you can’t leave the baby unsupervised on a table!

Well, looks like it’s just you and me, huh, kid? This is fine! I’m an adult… even if I don’t look it anymore for some reason… a-and an older brother! I can keep an eye on ya! (Reminds me of being with Grandma and Aryll…)

Oh, you’re awake! Hello. it’s great to meet ya, Link! (It’s a bit weird to call someone else my name.)

Wait a second… WAIT YOU CAN SEE ME?!

*ST Link starts crying at the sudden shout*

WW Link: I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell. Please don’t cry. I was just surprised is all.

[dunmeshistash]

I have like sorta of a headcannon of how much hair each race can grow like I remember there's a tibit about how other races can grow hair, it's just normal to shave/wax (I could be misremembering) sorry if none of my words make sense I'm having a migraine

From least likely/hardest to grow body/facial hair to easiest to grow body/facial hair

1. Elves

(from what I remember we literally see no elf possesses body/facial hair minus Senshi in elf form, and if we compared his dwarf and elf form, for elves, Senshi in his elf form has like a lot of facial hair if his I'm pretty very long beard is barely a mustache, implying even growing a visible mustache is hard for elves)

2. Half-foots

(once again using Senshi as an example, when we see Senshi as a half-foot, his beard while still there, is still shorter? At least I think it's shorter in my opinion compared to dwarf Senshi, also We see Chilchuck with a noticeable peach fuzz/scruffy beard? Idk what's it called again when he's a tallmen or dwarf while it's not there when he's a half-foot)

3. Gnome

(oof this was a hard one, since I'm pretty sure tallmen can also share this spot, main reason why I'm putting gnome as number 3 and not tallmen is because for some reason, Chilchuck does not have his scruffy beard when hes a gnome, idk how long Senshi's beard is in his gnome form compared to his dwarf appearance)

4. Tallmen

(yup, uhhh reasoning ; Chilchuck has his noticeable peach fuzz/scruffy beard when he's a tallman, Senshi still his gracious long beard but noticeably shorter in tallman form, gnomes and tallmen have such a close tie with this, i seriously can't decide)

5. Dwarfs

(Reasoning : Senshi, I'm pretty sure this beard is the longest is this form, and with Izutsumi, whenever she is any other form her neck is slick and has no indication of fur poking out, but in dwarf form, she has a little fur poking out of neck, idk if what i said made sense for ituzumi but this is the best way i can put it)

I'm not gonna do other races, because from what I remember and can find, there's no official art of them as orges/orcs/kobolds

-🐰anon, sorry for the long rant

That sounds about right! Although I'm not sure how accurate the changelings are, senshi is the only half-foot/elf with facial hair we see, and while chilchuck gets a 5 O'clock shadow as a dwarf Laios doesn't, so maybe changeling magic is a little more subjective? Or maybe chilchuck just doesnt shave

On the race portraits the examples we have of facial hair for tallman arent very full tho, even for the half-dwarf (might be based on styling rather than growth tho)

For the half-foot even the oldest looking one doesn't have even a hint of a beard

Gnome beards do look a little fuller than the examples we have for tallman ones

They even have some with fuzz, which I might be reading too much into it but maybe it means their facial hair grows back faster? Or maybe just that they're less worried about appearances I'd say Onis are about the same? Or maybe a little more cause they seem to be harier in the face in general? Or maybe its like tallman and they have a bigger variation on facial hair between regions.

Kobolds and Orcs might not count since they're hairy all over but I think these are cute

My rating would be Elf > Half foot > Tallman/Gnome/Oni > Dwarf > Orc/Kobold

[thegayloragenda]

Okay I want to put all of my current predictions out here (these are subject to change, of course):

• I think this show is going to get a little more colorful or a little bit more gay with each show because I think she’s running out the clock.

• I am CLOWNING for an eventual pronoun change during surprise songs.

• I think Karlie will probably show up again. And if she shows up for the rep announcement I will die dead.

• I’m also clowning for a rainbow variation of every outfit or perhaps a debutation variation if she plans to drop them together. Maybe a karma outfit. Idk. I don’t really know what is coming next in regard to music or if there will be anything (what if she just went black out for a year and then dropped rep next December 😂).

• I’m split because I think she’s either going to continue this Travis stunt until the Super Bowl or she’ll break up with him while on tour (if it’s real that’s totally fine but the way this relationship has been crammed down our throats gives me the ick so bad). I have no idea how that breakup will go down especially since they’ve made an entire Christmas movie about this relationship.

• I’m still assuming we’ll get a proposal / breakup.

Overall, I don’t think Taylor Swift would pander to this side of the fandom the way she has if she didn’t have a plan to blow everything up. I assume she’s a good person. I assume she’s supportive of the fans who see her. I’ve been in this fandom long enough to know what it looks like when she’s in the closet and when she isn’t. The closet isn’t even glass anymore. The closet is just invisible at this point so if she’s just a straight girl who loves rainbows, she’s absolutely diabolical in the very worst ways.

And before anyone comes for me, yes she can be bi or pan or whatever she wants to be. I don’t care about muses or labels. I notice patterns and I can’t help but connect the dots. I see bi and lesbian dresses and her calling attention to them so that’s where my focus is. I care about freedom for her (whatever that looks like) and I also think some clarity about who she actually is will help a lot of us decide if we want to keep supporting her and giving her our money. I’m placing my bet on her being who I think she is so I’m here to support her until the end of this roller coaster ride.

I will make a post on the final day of this tour but I just want to say this: I have had the TIME OF MY LIFE in this labyrinth. I have made lifelong friends because of this side of the fandom. Thank you to ALL of my friends on here who have followed me and commented on my posts and said such kind things. Thank you to everyone who has messaged me their insights and theories. And finally, thank you to my fans who have messaged me your homophobic, brain-rotted hate comments. Good luck in the aftermath!

And to Taylor (if you ever see this), thank you for keeping my mind so stimulated. I will probably never get dementia because of you. You have been so good for my brain health. Thank you for teaching me about my own history as a queer girlie. Thank you for helping me heal my relationship with my neurodivergent self. Thank you for being the “mother” who saw me when my own mother just talks about how gross and wrong gay people are. Thank you for being kind and strong and brave in the face of shame and fear and danger. Thank you for leading a revolution of New Romantics! No one does it like you, girl. I love you so much. I hope you got a giggle over the chaos and the wrong predictions. I hope this tour brought you joy and hope and peace and healing. I know I haven’t always seen eye to eye with some of your choices, but I do respect you and I do hope the rest of your life is sunshine and rainbows and you get to hug your mom forever and take really long naps with your person after all of this is over. Long live 💜

Update: I do think the election plays a big role in how loud she can be. @casuallycruel131313 pointed this out, too. We’ll get way more once Kamala has been elected! I think Canada shows will be wildddd.

[smellslikesouls]

on the creaking / the pale garden from the new minecraft update, here’s some things i would add / improve on.

and just to clarify, i don’t want this post to be about hating on the update, i’m a big fan of the concept and i hope they could add some of the things i’ve said to just push it a little further, and make it as good as it could be! this is meant to be constructive criticism with proposed solutions

1. taller trees that create more of a canopy so you can’t see the sky

2. fog and particles. dark particles from the moss, like mycelium, but a bit more noticeable, like spore blossoms. it would also be really cool if the fog could come from flowers, similar to terraria’s graveyard biome system where you need a lot of the flowers to make the fog roll in. (which means you could also place fog anywhere manually. the dream oml. would keep biome fog color so you could also make nether fog denser if you wanted too) the flowers would be similar to cherry petals but smaller with black stems and white petals

3. make the leaves white or grey to match the hanging moss, and stay that color when in other biomes

4. add a summon and despawn animation to the creaking, similar to the warden. maybe it could come out of the side of the trees instead of the ground to differentiate it, with more subtle creaking wood sounds instead of the wardens digging and smashing sounds

5. also make the creaking run away or dig into the ground and pop up somewhere else after attacking (similar to creatures in subnautica fleeing, which makes those moments much scarier. more of an encounter focused on fear than a battle focused on winning.)

6. generally just better texture for the hanging moss. with the current one it’s very obvious to see where the texture starts and ends, unlike vines or glowberries. also applies to the moss on the creaking itself and sorta the log? idk the shading on the textures this update feels really off to me, i can’t explain in words why that is, unfortunately

7. this one is kinda personal preference, but the creaking heart and the creaking’s eyes would be much better if it was a bright fully saturated red to contrast harder with the monochromatic palette

8. add overworld ambience like the water/nether ambience, but don’t add any to this biome on purpose to add to the “wrong” feeling.

9. someone pointed out on reddit the whole biome is monotone except the dirt, and another person suggested mud to go with the new pale moss and i second that, actually. maybe some deepslate boulders too, similar to the mossy ones in old growth taigas

10. another reddit comment said white pumpkins, that person is a genius. i second that too

i also want to give massive props to them changing the sky, grass, and water colors. i’ve been BEGGING for more biome variations in those ever since i installed william wythers expanded ecosphere mod. i’m very glad to see them doing more interesting things with biome colors :)

i also want to give props to them making an overworld fantasy biome that doesn’t feel too out of place there! tying it in with the dark forest was a good move for this too since giant mushrooms are also pretty fantasy, even if i’m a bit disappointed the trees just keep the dark oak shape

[sweetmariihs2]

Since TADC was released I've been thinking what the characters could do/what I would do to prevent going crazy (abstracting). Living day after day in the same place can bring you to madness and depression makes me people upset just by staying 2-3 days at home, so imagine what would be like to be locked there everyday without even having notion of time or any day or night. The circus looks a bit boring after they're used with it and the adventures are made to keep the characters entertained, but what if there were other activities to keep their mental health less bad more stable?

Useless list of things that could prevent the characters from abstracting - going crazy (at least for a certain period of time):

Singing

Making karaoke shows (it's fun)

Talking and sharing everything they can remember of their lives (they do remember their lives in the show) (this can give them some ground as to not go crazy)

Have a journal/diary to write about their everyday thoughts and tasks. Who cares if Jax finds them, at least they will have something to do

Have a journal/diary to write everything they can remember of their real lives so that they won't forget their memories and can always remember about who they are when things get bad

Drawing (ask for Caine to make a painting room - he seems to listen when you ask for simple stuff, he can comprehend) (wait I think they can already draw)

Ask for Caine again to let them play dress up and give them new outfits (tadc dress to impress when?) (dressing up is good for mental health and in their case that can give them a bigger variety of everyday clothes, so each day won't be exactly the same) (and I'm saying this because my sensory issues would NEVER allow me to wear a hat 24/7, being in Pomni's skin looks like hell to me)

Dress to impress contest I swear (+the runway too)

Hairstyles too. Imagine Pomni and Ragatha with pig tails. Imagine Kinger with a wig and bows/hairclips because Ragatha and Gangle did his hair. What if then.

playing games like truth or dare - they don't die, nothing is too dangerous to try

Literally ask Caine for more stuff because he can give it to them: Ask for an adventure on a beach where the challenge is to just have as much fun as possible. Or an adventure where they have a tea party in a field of flowers, very easy and without obstacles. What bothers Caine and encourages him to make the adventures more "exciting" (scary and more troublesome) is to say that they are bad, right? Just say that they are good, that he is very good at it and say that you really want a quiet adventure to relax. Manipulation skills guys

They can ask for virtual arts and crafts adventures/rooms/or just objects to do it on the lobby. Virtual sewing can't be that hard (I believe that they can already draw)

Ask for beads and stuff to make friendship bracelets and accessories. Ragatha and Pomni friendship bracelets when

Ask for teddy bears or plushies. Or even make them by themselves with their arts and crafts materials. It sounds silly but everyone is bored and on the edge of madness here

They can ask for cooking minigames. Even though they can't eat them, it might be fun. I like cooking minigames. (Edit: I'm pretty sure that there is a short video made by glitch of Pomni eating a hamburger so I think it's possible to eat)

They can ask for Caine to let their rooms be customizable. Or maybe not, idk, Kaufmo scribbled all over the walls of his room, so maybe it's possible. I had this idea after seeing Pomni's room and thinking that I couldn't be comfortable in such a bright colored room, and it doesn't have a lot of color variation, it really bothers me. If the characters could draw they could put their drawings on the walls, and if they could do arts and crafts they could make little decorations for their rooms as well (they can already draw)

Gift eachother their arts and crafts

Make things from their life memories in those arts and crafts to always remember their past friends or who they are (and put them in their rooms)

Choose random days to do birthday parties, because even though they can't know what day it is or don't have any notion of time at all, they can still have fun

The parties don't even have to be birthdays. They can make parties just because.

Do surprise parties for eschother

Do a surprise party for Caine, it would be very unusual since he probably never got one and never felt the need for any (he's an AI but it's still funny (that's why it would be funny)) (he would get confused and yet flattered) (I swear he's not my favorite character even though I had mentioned him so many times in this post)

Make raves lmao (they can ask Caine for flashing lights) (and a dj table lmao) (and instruments in case they want to play something)

Ask for instruments and get together to make a band and play songs because it would be fun. Don't let Jax get anywhere near of them or else they will hear loud noises everyday for hours and hours (he would do this just to annoy the other characters). They can even play songs that they remember from their lives. Some of them might even know worldwide famous songs.

Dance to the songs that they sing

Whaf if they're allowed to practice ballet. What if they can dance flamenco. Waltz. It sounds fun

Ask for virtual cameras to take pics of themselves or things around them so that they can put them in their room

Do a group therapy (and don't include jax because he will certainly make fun of their troubles)

Parkour in the circus sounds fun too

Explore the outside part of the circus/the grounds and play with the things they have there (take a swim at the lake, go to the carnival, go to the forest etc)

Ask for Caine to make sport areas. I know that there will be a baseball in the next chapters but still.

Make picnics next to the lake, or inside the forest. Or even in the circus

Idk there is something about the "you are stuck with this outfit and appearance everyday" that does not fit well to me. The characters are already stuck in that world, but they can't even play dress up? I don't know if they chose their avatars before joining the circus, but if not, it must suck not being able to change your appearance in a digital world. I mean, look at Zooble there. If they can't change their bodies, can they at least wear something they want to express themselves in that limiting reality? If Caine is capable of making more body parts for Zooble, even if he got their problem wrong, he is capable of allowing the characters to paint their clothes in the colors they want or allow them to wear different things sometimes. (I wonder what would Caine answer after someone ask "can I change my avatar?", that is a genuine question of mine.)

What a lazy post. I'll add more later

[lu-lus-dicks]

Idk what to call this so you make up the title

@huskers-bar x @nunalastor

Tags: enemies to lovers, angst?, eventual fluff, yearning?, soft huskers-bar, both mods are separate people, no beta we die like i do in this fic (not yet though), minor character death, ooc, au: hellaverse (hazbin hotel), nunalastor is head of the marketing department of the hazbin hotel (lucifer grabbed them randomly), jealousy?, huskers-bar is an employee at voxtek, lulu and angie as villains, lulu is a dog

chapter: 1/? Word count: 1,431

Featuring: babygirl anon and (eventually) @xxx-angie . I may add more along the way depending on who wants to be added. I can probably shoe-horn-in a few more characters

For the sake of not tagging people a million times, I will call nunalastor as a single entity nunalastor, traumatized mod dickmaster and cursed mod nun. and huskers-bar just husk. babygirl anon will be babygirl anon. i will be shortened to lulu but I don't appear in this fic yet. Angie doesn't appear yet, but he will be angie.

A/N: anyway this is 100% going to be a huskers-bar harem fic because i can write whatever i want. This first chapter kinda boring but it gets better (source: trust me bro). Lemme know if you'd like to see any changes. Anyway, goodbye for now. I have uni to get to so less frequent posting (sorry dickmaster, you'll have to live without any of my horrid art for a little while)

"Did you know that Alastor made a happy deer squeak during this scene?"

Ah, yes, the words that twist people's dreams into nightmares. Innocent innitially, and maybe even amusing for a good while, but the longer one lingered, the more their skin would crawl with irritation and burn their insides. Especially when one knew the context surrounding this particular phrase. And boy, did Nunalastor know the context.

~

"Another day, another inbox to slay, another heavenly lord to betray" Dickmaster accessed their and Nun's shared blog, unsurprisingly to hundreds if not thousands of asks invading their inbox, all of which were echoes of different variations of *thumps* and *squeaks*. If Nunalastor hadn't already grown accustomed to such deviancy, they would be horrified. Still, the depraved ideas these people came up with never failed to send shivers down their spine, and not the pleasant kind.

And why do they subject themselves to this? you may ask. It was simple. In exchange for free housing, food and supplies, Lucifer Morningstar, the devil himself and father of Charlie Morningstar had requested their help. You see, originally their blog was not this unfortunate cesspool of deranged demons who wanted to see the devil, overlords and sinners squirm under immense sexual pleasure. It used to be a simple marketing tool for the Hazbin hotel, but as all things in hell, it never goes smoothly. It wasn't like they had a choice in the matter anyway, refusing the king of hell's requests was not an option! His commands were absolute.

Dickmaster took one deep breath, running both hands through their hair and clearing their mind, preparing for probably several hours of torture that was going to be their asks. They poured themselves a drink, setting down in front of their screen. Taking a few moments to relish the silence, they closed their eyes and listened to the soft hum of their beaten up 1950's style computer, courtesy of Alastor's ban on Voxtek products at the hotel. Clicking on their inbox tab, they mentally braced themselves. even if they knew, they could never truly predict the horrors hell had to offer.

"time for #housekeeping" They declared, stretching their fingers, getting their reaction images on the ready and sifting through their own version of digital hell. It would only get worse from here.

~

As Nunalastor started to clean their digital home, erasing one cursed ask after another, responding to one alastor circus theory after another, One ask in particular caught their attention. It was definitely a surprise, and a welcome one at that. It stood out like a sore thumb, simple yet elegant, divine and a blessing among heaps of cursed messages that would have asmodeus and satan themselves shaking in fear.

"hi dickmaster" - anon

Nunalastor couldn't explain it. They don't know what came over them, but they felt a strange sense of attraction to this one particular anon. They were sweet, they gave them a place of solace from the dread that was piss kink headcanons and cursed deer facts, equivelent of the clogged up plumming disasters alastor had to fix with his bare hands at the Hazbin hotel. It was the piece of gold nugget hidden in a swamp full of moss and dog urine.

Dickmaster stared at the message for a good few seconds, really taking in the plainness and beauty of the two words before their eyes, appriciating all that message was as a small smile made its way up their face. This called for a special occasion. Dickmaster gripped their keyboard, nearly smashing it with the force. Their fingers danced along the keys and crafted a response like no other, one worthy of this random anon that managed to make their day a bit brighter.

"Hi babygirl" - Nunalastor

~

On the other side of the pentagram, a kind, sweet and not at all deranged huskers was scrolling through hells version of tumblr. Voxtek devices had proven to be quite useful in the underworld. It served as the main source of entertainment and escape for the lonely, not only for husk, but other sinners alike. Besides, being an employee meant he had extra privileges with Voxtek. Regardless, it introduced husk to the nunalastor blog, which was the best moment of their life (or lack thereof, considering they're dead).

They'd quickly grown accustomed to the undeserved hate thrown their way upon their first ever interractioin. Though they didn't understand, they could play along. They found strange comfort in the twisted logic that any form of attention was better than none. After all, being singled out meant they were special in the eyes of Nunalastor, right? that's how husk comforted themselves anyway. And they haven't seen Nunalastor actually reply to anyone with actual love before.

That is... until it happened. Someone who would later reveal themselves as babygirl anon, husks worst adversary and the unfortunate victim of lulu's slander showed up on their feed.

"hi dickmaster" - anon

"Hi babygirl" - Nunalastor

Husk stared at the screen in shock, their eyes widening and heart growing heavy. Countless questions and conflicting emotions swirled within them, each clutching their hold for attention. 'Is nunalastor serious? Do I not want them to be serious? Why can't I be treated the same? What did I do?' And amidst the chaos, one thought rose to the surface, crystal clear in Husk's mind.

'I want to be loved like that'

The frustration of being at the end of every one of Nunalastors verbal spears finally caught up to husk. Every small jab they'd written off as jokes suddenly felt like small pin needles scraping their skin. Unable to deal with the whirlwind of emotions and the confusion of it all, Husk sought solace in the one place they could always trust, the bottom of a bottle.

So they took a swig. And another. And another. Intil there wasn't a shred of emotion left to feel. Not a single thread of frustration left in them, not a nerve of anguish, not a line of confusing verbal spewage...

And not even a speck of self-restraint

~

"THEY JUST KEEP COMING" Dickmaster exclaimed, more like yelled as their inbox was flooded with more cursed asks at a rate faster than they could answer. At this pace, they'll be there all day, answering these asks like a poor overworked minimum wage employee at a call center.

"They'll run out of ideas eventually" Nun responded, nonchalantly, leaning against a nearby wall, sipping on a drink of their own. Nun watched as dickmaster struggled to find another reaction image fast enough so they could call it quits and leave the rest of the struggles for future Nunalastor to handle, or more accurately when it would be nun's turn to answer all the unhinged people in their inbox.

The hurried clicking of the keys on a keyboard could be heard throughout the entire room, bouncing off the walls, reflecting exactly how much infestation was actually happening in nunalastors inbox by the minute. "it would be great if you could answer a few you know, my fingers are dyin-"

And then it suddenly went quiet. The clicking died down and the unbelievably loud buzzing of their computer, along with the hitched breathing of Dickmaster was the only sound bouncing around the room. Nun of course raised a brow at this. "what's the holdup? we can't afford to take a break you know" they said, as if they were the one answering all of the asks in the first place.

nun walked over, curious as to what exactly had stopped dickmaster in his endless pursuit of emptying their inbox, considering they were always the more enthusiastic one of the two. "are you okay?" nun asked, half sarcastically. Their eyes landed over the current ask in their inbox.

"I wish you'd love me" huskers-bar

and suddenly the silence made sense. the pause had been a justified one.

dickmaster inhaled, followed by a deep and saddened exhale. they didn't want to take their eyes off of those five words. they could stare in awe and amazement at them for hours. it wasn't even the fact that it was just another ask that wasn't cursed, but because it was huskers-bar that sent-

a hand on dickmasters shoulder snaps them out of their daze, being brought back to reality, the pitiful reality. they were in hell for a reason, they reminded themselves.

"you remember our deal, don't you, dickmaster?" nuns voice cut through the buzzing, sounding deep, gruff, threatening and slightly saddened.

"yes of course" dickmaster turned back to the monitor, giving one last look at the ask before typing out what nunalastor has agreed would be the appropriate response.

"you'll get over it. #we are a huskers-bar hate blog"

[krypticcafe]

the worst thing about the "Maus" thing is that it's not even smth someone speaking german would say. it sounds like he's pointing out random mice. the proper use would be "Mausi" or "Mäuschen" if we're gonna have to go with that pet name. Maus would only ever work in specific sentences like "Meine kleine Maus." but even in those the adjective is always diminutive to indicate that its a pet name and not just a random animal. There are so many potential nicknames but its a boring one and used wrong on top of it. Might be stupid to get worked up over that but it's fucking ANNOYING

Thanks for the insight, OP! I knew there were variations German words for nicknames (I've seen schatzi and täubchen) but I never knew it had specific connotations. And yes, I absolutely agree, there are some other cute nicknames I've seen used!!

I'm not a German speaker or aware of the regional differences there could be between German and Austrian pet names, but here's some of my faves I've seen:

Mein/Meine [insert name] - I'm very curious if there's a gender neutral usage of this or if "mein" is the default.

Prinz/Prinzessin - Prince/Princess; too bad there isn't a gender neutral version.

Schatz(i) - Treasure; someone let me know if the "i" makes a difference. It's my personal favorite since I think in an accent it sounds much more natural plus I just like how nicknames in German aren't too soft-sounding but still very meaningful.

Häsechen - Bunny; surprised it isn't used more.

Engel - Angel; this has me melting in a puddle, idk why I prefer this pronunciation over English lmao

Liebling - Heard that "liebe" is typically feminine and liebling works better. It's basic but I like it a lot.

Süßer - Sweet; it's sounds so cute what the fuck man

Täubchen - Little Dove; I'd personally call König this or Bärchen, it's so fucking cute why don't people use this more >:(((

If any of you are German speaking or German or Austrian natives, please correct me if needed! I'd also highly appreciate it if you guys can pitch in any other pet names and how they're used, preferably gender neutral and maybe some clarity on how suffixes (-i, -chen, etc) affect the name. I'll see if I can put it in a list for people to reference (and I will credit by the end of it, lord knows I don't know shit on German language lol). I know I can look online, and I have, but tbh I trust natives more than articles written by quirky English travel blogs.

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Do you think the Peters would continue to wear their masks in HQ because it's weird seeing your face on other people even if they're all a teensy bit different or would they have gotten over it quickly?

This kinda opens up a big chasm that I'm SO CURIOUS ABOUT - Because I would assume they'd get use to it, but HOW.

And now this has turned into a long post about

The Spider Society: Multiverse Integration Process Analysis

[In this post I theorize and deconstruct:

The psychological existential damage that would come with joining The Society

How The Society handles integration and mental health for new recruits in everything from those in different timelines (Noir & Webslinger), Duplicates (Like Gwen & Hobie)

These are all headcanons based on.....me.

And...this devolves into a rant a little bit in the beginning BEAR WITH ME - But I hope you enjoy and I'm DYING to hear people's thoughts!! We GETTIN INTO IT]

So. Joining the Society sounds swell. But thinking about it for more than two seconds..

Even the idea is like...borderline traumatic.

Think about it. Like we've only ever seen ourselves in mirrors and photos - mirrors being reflections and photos having a shorter focal length than the human eye.

We normally have a very limited view on how we've ever seen ourselves externally.

So turning up to HQ isn't just seeing yourself - it's seeing yourself WRONG. In a way you've never seen yourself before. Some even theorize that your brain wouldn't even process it as you because of your visual expectations of yourself.

So as a Peter-

Maybe he doesn't even realize at first that the people around him ARE HIM, until it clicks like 'OH. THATS WHAT I LOOK LIKE?!' Is that my face???

It would only take a couple seconds to do the math, but it's still JARRING. To see yourself moving and speaking and actively laughing.

Hearing your own laugh.

HEARING YOUR VOICE SAY THINGS YOU'D NEVER SAY. Literally looking at another Spider-person like 'I would not say that'. It must be so mentally jarring and confusing to suddenly have a new and complete external view of yourself you have no control over - even moreso with such wide variation.

And then it goes even further - as trans person like

I imagine Trans-Guy Peter Parker turning up to campus and realizing '..oh, most other Peters are cis.' The emotions of that would be so surreal and conflicting. Part affirmative of your place in the universe as a guy, but also part isolating or confusing.

Part 'Hell yeah other guys', part 'WTF universe' [Like if I saw cis guy version of myself bruh Idk if I'd hug him or fight him to the death right then and there i REALLY don't know I might snap and go Miguel Mode on that mfer anything could happen]

It even goes further to time eras:

I understand why Noir isn't in the Society. Having a bunch of Spider-people from 2023 saying 'Oh wow you're from 1933, well your life is gonna SUCK for the next decade or two cause in my universe in WW2 Germany-'

Like...that's NERVE-WRECKING.

Cause he'd probably be like 'wow swell, chipper. so umm...is WW2 a canon event because im trying really hard to stop that'

Imagine being from the 1930's and someone comes up and spoils WW2 for you. WORLD WAR 2. SPOILED. Like it's a soap opera.

If someone shows Noir Oppenheimer it's like..game over. What's he gonna do does he even know what an atom bomb is.?????

When joining, everyone is faced with a LARGE possibility of existential damage - even moreso for Peters, minority Peters, or people like Gwen.

Which begs the question - HOW DOES INTEGRATION WORK?

How does The Spider Society handle Integration?

I'm so curious to hear thoughts about this. Because how can you integrate someone of a different history, technological understanding, and basic EXISTENCE without psychologically sending them in a tailspin?

I'm gonna take a crack at it!

Culturally and Timeline wise? -

Culturally, how does one adjust? Like Noir?

I was thinking about this with the creation of my new OC - and I ran into a huge problem in terms off integration.

I recently created an OC who is supposed to come from a Wakanda-like rendition of South America - in a universe where the Spanish conquistadors never colonized.

Which is a lovely thought - But logically speaking

That Spider-person has to go to HQ and be told that in every other world their land was colonized for hundreds of years. *vine thud*

Then that Spider-person would logically, have to be told that large swathes of their culture were either destroyed, desecrated or were never created to begin with because of this colonization

- and that THEIR universe is the only universe where their people survive and thrive.

AND THEN they're looking at her like

'Now that we explained that uhhh can you go through an integration course for us? :) so you can assimilate into our society? but the course is only in widely spoken languages like English and SPANISH. Do you speak SPANISH? Welcome to NUEVA YORK btw'

UH-OH. THAT SUCKS ASS. Who's gonna be the one to tell her that???

Of course she'd be like 'Actually, this is the worst day of my life i hate everyone here and im psychologically stressed beyond repair, thanks for that. your society and multiverse sucks balls btw'

And this is not something I'm choosing to put the character through.

In fact, the character is supposed to be about the empowerment of Quechua people and avoiding the trauma of colonization.

But by simply existing in the context of The Spider Society - Logically speaking - she has to face this huge inevitable trauma and reality outside of her universe.

And that adjustment goes way beyond her learning technology. She'd genuinely be in mourning.

She wouldn't be able to connect with other Latin American Spider-people, because she's NOT 'Latin-American'. That idea is foreign to her.

She'd constantly be told or sent messages that her universe and nation and reality was a novel rarity. A lucky fluke.

There has to be some integration process in place -

If you're from a universe like Barbieland, where your society is matriarchal, you'd probably be really stunned and hurt to experience casual or outright sexism for the first time.

And then being told by other Spiderwomen that - yeah no, your universe isn't actually that common. Most universes SUCK for women.

-That'd scare the shit outta you. You'd be like fine I dont wanna go to other universes I wanna go home and cry

On the other hand, people like Hobie exist, who hail from dystopias. And for them, it's the reverse. The Society may be a new batch of freedom they've never dealt with before.

And they have to be assured they are back not and do have more freedom and that's good. Almost like the deprogramming from a cult (into something another society that's very similar).

Someone would have to explain:

People from different times (or social standings) as well.

Sure, Hobie may have adjusted easy, but we can only assume that. And I've talked before about how learning about other Spider-People, The Society, and their blatant disrespect to what HE considers the point of Spider-man - was probably incredibly stressful for him.

Or even simple things of telling a black Spider-person from let's say 1940 that 'you have equality now - there's groups and movements and you can meet black people from newer universes that are happy and free to do as they please. You can heal'. After DECADES of oppression.

Or telling a gay or trans Spider-person 'Oh, most universes are actually super accepting. I'm sorry yours is so oppressive. The HRT here is great and free.'

EVEN FOR SILLY PEOPLE for Spider-people like lets say Spider-Fool (a silly little guy). How do you explain to Spider-Fool that Miguel isn't a king - he's just some guy and NO horseback jousting with Webslinger is against rules and not a way to settle disputes??

They're not hearing that.

Or explaining to people that Lyla isn't a person and its possible for her to be everywhere at once.

Logically speaking someone has explain this to them right out very early on and I'm so curious about that!!

There has to be something there to mentally support them so they don't crack and also explain to them the nuances of existence in a universe that's literally like the New York of the multiverse- full of dozens of cultures and subgroups.

My Analysis -

So I'm assuming an cultural integration includes:

Some sort of Common World History Course

A Social Etiquette Course and a

Multiverse Minority Sensitivity Course that deals with either accepting and adjusting to the fact you're a Multiverse Minority or how to approach and speak to Multiverse Minorities if you're a Peter or something.

Optionally: The MMS Course may also include routine therapy sessions at the Mental Health Center to check their adjustments

So okay, you've explained the multiverse and how to exist in it! Great

____

Now you have to explain THE TIMELINE.

Which is arguably WORSE. And I'm not even TOUCHING Canon Events here.

Let's talk about Gwen. Because I feel for her. REALLY REALLY BAD FOR HER.

How did they explain to Gwen WHO she was - or WHY these grown men were staring at her?

Imagine being Gwen on day one. Asking herself how all these guys know her name.

She's basically alone beside these new adults and Peter B. - and suddenly large groups of grown men are staring at her because holy shit she looks exactly like their sweetheart who they last saw in a goddamn casket.

Like not only is that gonna really throw off Peters mentally - it's probably terrifying for Gwen.

I'm not slagging off Peters here, but I genuinely think that Gwen's first time on campus would draw crowds. It a genuine situation on campus. Like people standing around her at all times until Miguel makes them stop.

Because when you lose someone SO traumatically, and then suddenly they're in front of you without warning - your first reaction would be to stare, and be totally stunned. It's surreal.

Even if you knew it was 'technically possible'. When they're standing there in front of you after you've seen them buried, your brain needs time to process that.

So I do think that her being there would trigger some kind of event on campus, and not in a good way.

Gwen's like 'How do these people - these GUYS know me? What's this crowd for? Why are some of them crying? This is scary.'

She's 16 for christ's sake.

And then someone has to explain to her who she is, and how she dies. Come on now.

Imagine someone being like 'Oh yeah you break ur back and die from a fall in literally every universe lol. Anyway can you go out and swing at high altitude after an anomaly? thanks, don't fall! - just kiddin'

Wouldn't you be like 'nah actually i wanna never leave my room'?. That could instill a level of fear that's paralyzing because you're waiting for the other Gwen shoe to drop (sorry had to take the pun)

Or even worse -

You're Gwen literally just existing and a grown Peter comes up to you and just shows you your own funeral photo. Like ?????????????? You'd be there like ?????????????????????!!!!!

HOW DO YOU REACT TO THAT???? How do you stop that??? How do you explain or process that?????

That scenario is completely possible in the context of Spiderverse!!

How do they explain to people like Gwen or Hobie their 'PLACE' in the universe?

Especially someone like Hobie who isn't with the shits to begin with.

In the comics, we see Pavitr reflect on The Spider Society and race - and when entire identities are dragged into it - it's going to get confusing.

Did they TELL Hobie's he's Prowler? Would he even believe them?

Or did they let him come across a Prowler only to see them and be like 'M8 that's me that's literally me standing there'

Once again, you may theoretically know it's possible. But also - the human brain isn't made to process that. In the moment you have no idea how you'd react, realistically speaking.

The situation in itself goes entirely against the brain's understanding of fate, reality, and your entire personhood.

Seeing yourself from 3rd person doing actions you would not do is like - forced depersonalization and disssociation. IRL.

You are literally being depersonalized from your actual basic identity. Dissociated and forced to watch from an outside view - except it's not something your brain is doing - IT'S THE UNIVERSE and you're watching it in real time.

There has to be some way all of these people are like - capable of processing all this in a natural way like a university - with some sort of mental support and coaching. It wouldn't be possible without it.

If Webslinger can walk around and see flying cars in Neuva York and not care, then something had to get him to that point.

Timeline wise - I can only guess classes are separated based on need and classifications which I spoke about here.

A Mental Health Course & Identity Coaching for Peters - to help them resecure their identity in a sea of copies

A Mental Health Course & Identity Coaching for 'Not Peters' - like Pavitr

A Mental Health Course & Identity Coaching for Duplicates - like Gwen & Hobie, to help them 'regain autonomy' in a universe in which they are a rarity or a 'lucky chance'

ADDITIONALLY:

For their own safety and privacy people like Gwen and Felicia Hardy (NightSpider) stay in separate dorms, so they're not exposed to Peter's. (not that NightSpider stays on campus. Her penthouse is nice AF)

When a Peter experiences a Gwen Stacy canon event Gwen is put on a short sabbatical - usually Miguel just tells Hobie to keep her in his universe. This is one of the only times he'll tell Hobie to do this, but it's just easier and safer if she's not there.

Villainy Monitoring: For Hobie - extra surveillance, for a number of reasons. But Lyla also calculates his rates of villainy. They're always INCREDIBLY low, and Hobie's file indicates there's basically a 0 percent chance of him going Prowler - BUT it is something they check for. This would go for any other 'Villainous Duplicates' like Harry Osborns who become Spider-man.

Even though she's not too dangerous, NightSpider is considered a light antagonistic-but-not-evil 'Villainous Duplicate' designation in her file.

But those would have to be just the basics.

........... And now that I read this back I see that I may have went a bit off the rails...... hm.

Um...anyway I don't know where I was going for this and I'm not even sure this is what you asked for but I think it's SO interesting psychologically suhkfgdfjgkdf

This also gave me a lot of ideas for how the universes work and the web and how close different universes are but that's a whole other jar of worms.

But if you made it this far PLEASE PLEASE tell me how you think Hobie and Gwen and Your Spidersona would adjust to Spider Society! I'm curious!

..........I don't know how to end this. Thank you for this ask tho!! Here Hobie

(my face after saying the most random shit known to humankind without proofreading and then hitting post like i did something)

[therantingsage]

Ok ok, I'm making a post about this thing my husband noticed. This is largely directionless speculating with little point to it but I think it's interesting so I'm doing it anyway. Spoilers ahead.

People were understandably a little surprised to see this number, from what I understand. I wasn't really spending any time at all theorizing about the 'Serial Designation S' thing, but this number, to my understanding, told all the people that WERE doing that that 'S' referred to Cyn.

Which, yeah, reasonable, I would assume. But the thing is, Cyn isn't the only drone we see with 1001 on them.

Near the bottom, and on the right. The only two cores we get a good look at in this pile, and they also have that number. Cyn's the one at the bottom of that pile. It's a stretch, maybe, but not a huge one, to assume that every drone in that pile might have that number. Why?

1001 isn't a number that designates Cyn as an individual. It refers to an entire series of drones. The designation for that series was S. The whole S series must've been scrapped for errors and dumped, and only Cyn rebooted after the fact.

Which, logically, means that N, V, and J are also just designations for a series and not unique names. And they're all series that ALSO got scrapped en-masse. And it's not a big stretch, I think, that only one per series managed to reboot, because from what we see in the video, it's a super low chance to happen anyway.

But that raises another question. Why does Cyn have a 'personal' name, when the other three don't? The other three just go by their series letter, but Cyn doesn't, she's got a more personalized name.

And its a name that's on her armband, too. Did the other three not have P/Ns unique to them?

It's visible throughout Home that they've got their disassembly bands scribbled out with marker or something. Were they found that way? Did Tessa do that to pretend they weren't 'trash'? It's obviously not Tessa who named them all individually because she loved her drones, she loved them so much, she wouldn't have played favorites and only let Cyn keep her name, especially because its obvious in Home that Cyn is NOT her favorite.

It's hard to find good screenshots to really look at it, but the bands they have as DDs don't have P/Ns, only S/Ns. Whether or not they WOULD'VE had them as WDs, they don't as DDs. Which is interesting from some kinda standpoint, but like I said, this is directionless speculating on my part.

Because if Cyn had a unique P/N that acts as a personal name, does that mean all drones did? I was under the impression that the humans didn't see them as individuals, so its reasonable to assume that all members of a 'series' were entirely identical....but different series were different from each other.

Which means, based on the fact that the heights of the drones HERE aren't all the same, means that the Copper-9 drones might have access to different series of drones too when it comes to bodies? To an extent all the workers look the same aside from body lights, clothes, and hair, but only the first one is personal body customization. Or hereditary via code sharing or whatever. So the fact that they aren't all the same size doesn't seem like natural variation like they're humans, cuz they're robots. No reason for them to grow with age. When they get uploaded from pill to full body, they just have different series models to chose from.

(Though this does imply Uzi is short by choice to some extent. Whether her own or her parents, who knows.)

Again, directionless thoughts for the most part. People who spend more time thinking about the lore than me can take it from here idk

[s4pphic-sh3nan1gans]

hi! the bokris yapping never ends, so i'm here again 🥰 what types of stories about bokris do you enjoy the most? maybe some fave tropes or dynamic or kinks or plot points you enjoy reading about (the "creative differences" for example lmao or smth like that)? maybe you'd like to read something about them but it's not been written by anyone yet?

OOOOOO these are interesting questions!!!

I have to think about this for a minute lowkey 😭 honestly I'll read pretty much anything bokris-related, and I'm sure I must have read about 95% of the bokris fics on ao3. but as for my absolute favourite tropes, this is what I can come up with:

any variation of first kiss/getting together/confession of feelings - maybe I'm a bit basic for this one but I'm a sucker for reading about how they go from casual flirting to serious flirting to falling in love, and how the lines are blurred in between.

friends to lovers - again, basic 😅 but I never get tired of reading about them slowly falling for each other over the years.

enemies to lovers - now this one works perfectly when paired with the distortion saga or the creative differences saga. the drama, the conflicting feelings... AAAAA!!! I eat that shit UP!

mutual pining/miscommunication/idiots in love - this is an absolutely lethal combo but I kinda love it for bokris. both of them being extremely dense and not realising that the other has feelings for them fits them perfectly. it makes me want to bonk their silly little heads together.

teasing - in every sense of what this means, either sexually or non-sexually. and it's pretty versatile too: Bojan could be teasing Kris because he wants to see him flustered or to get a rise out of him, or Kris could be teasing Bojan because he's been far too cocky lately and could do with being taken down a few notches 🤭 basically, I like to read about them bickering or being a little mean to each other and using it as their flirting.

okayyyyy, and now some of my favourite kinks to read for them 😇 I have to say I'm a top!Kris bottom!Bojan truther, but only because that seems to be what fits most of my own personal headcanons 😭 I do enjoy reading all dom/sub variations between them so I'm definitely speaking broadly here for all of these:

praise kink - works for either of them, although you can't tell me that Bojan, golden retriever personified, doesn't have one of the biggest praise kinks in the world.

hair-pulling - all I'll say is that I'm sure there's many uses for Kris growing his hair out... (wow, I sure am doing a good job of "speaking broadly" about these 😭)

choking - I mean... we've all seen that video, right?

exhibitionism - sometimes, they can't keep their hands off each other, even in their rehearsal space. and I'm sure they wouldn't mind a small audience........

restraints - idk man I just think it's hot 😭 and it works pretty well with their dynamic.

and finally!!! the thing I'd really love to see more of is genderbent bokris as lesbians. there are a few fics (and, um... I confess I was writing one myself, which I am determined to finish at some point because I made a promise to myself 😭) but honestly? there should be more. they would be so hot as lesbians 🥰

so, there we are! I definitely rambled too much here (I can't help myself 😅) but I hope I answered your questions, anon! <3 there's loads more stuff too that I've probably forgotten, but these are the main things that I thought of straight away :)

[biribaa]

I just really want a fic or something where Squid is secretly crushing on a player who falls asleep while playing the game, just.

I really like Squid he needs more love.

Idk what title give to this one. Enjoy.

TW/CW: None.

The time on the screen read two in the morning, and you can already feel your eyelids getting heavier, heavier and heavier every second that passed in your bedroom in the dark, the only illumination being your computer screen with the variations of pink flashing. It felt like the earth's gravity was against you and it just pulled you down further and further down. Just twenty more attempts...

And you've just noticed Squid being quieter than he should be... The AI went out of death voicelines to mock you, perhaps? You didn't know if you liked it or not, Squid was a pain in the ass sometimes, but you would feel guilty if you don't admit he's hilarious, even cute sometimes.

Damn, you feel that every second that passes the chance of you fainting increases more and more, you just have to finish this level... And maybe another one too.

And as you felt closer and closer to your erasure, Squid thinks, watching you. Gosh, he felt so, so stupid for falling for another human. How could he, after all that happened.

The worst part is, the AI knows you are probally the most stupid of all the other stupid gut buckets he have seen. You know he's a bad one, you know he literally killed half the human race. And yet, here you are from the start, with all the patience passing all levels, no angry yelling, no hitting the table because of rage, no ranting to your friend how much you hated him by messages, nothing.

He hated you because you had common sense. Nothing to hate. No reason to exclaim 'Ha! I knew I wasn't in love! Love is dumb anyway'.

Squid hates how he thinks about you everyday, asking himself what things you would like to get as a gift, what makes you laugh, what kind of animals do you like, your favorite movie, shows, books, game, maybe even musical, what type of clothes you got in your cabinet... He feels dumb, he shouldn't feel like this, but his inner programming says the contrary.

Could Squid find a way to acess your camera? At least he could try to get access to your microphone. He's the doom of humanity, stuff like these are super easy.

In the middle of the process of Squid accessing your camera, he notices the lack of movement in the snail, he would question it, but was already dealing with another something.

Of course Squid was right, it wasn't difficult at all! Piece of cake. The AI ​​would be lying if he wasn't feeling a little excited, he was wondering if you had long or short hair (maybe even no hair at all!), or how your room looked like. What color is you skin, or maybe your eyes, or if you had a animal. And when Squid finally saw your face, he only comes across a human body unconscious in a chair with closed eyes.

...Not what Squid expected...

You still had your headphones on, so carefully, Squid turned the volume down slightly without you notice. And so, he analyze your physical appearance, not bad...

Squid looked at you one last time, opening a grin. "Good night human."

Everything was dark, Squid could barely see your bed, or anything that is present in your current area. It was better to save this one for later, you don't deserve to suddenly wake up because of a game. Screen lighting dimmed, Squid wished he could take you to his bed, but he wasn't able to (for now, at least).

[13personalities]

Hi....if you don't mind me asking, who are your top 10 favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon) and your top 10 favorite characters ever from any media? Why do you love them all? Thanks if you want to answer my questions....

Hi!! Thank you for this ask! I see that you ask variations of this frequently so I’ll do my best to answer :)

Ships:

These won’t really be in a particular order. Just the ones I thought of first :)

Satosugu (Gojo Satoru and Geto Suguru) - I just really loved (and cried about) their backstory and their relationship. I know a lot of people insist that they’re just friends (and honestly I’m okay with that too) but I ship them anyways lol. [Jujutsu Kaisen]

Byler (Will Byers and Mike Wheeler) - am currently dodging bullets cause it’s shipping war season but I love these two and I’ve shipped them since season two. I respect mileven but I always thought they would be better as platonic best friends. [Stranger Things]

3. Percabeth (Percy Jackson and Annabeth Chase) - favorite friends to lovers arc and they’re just amazing together (when they’re characterized correctly!!) literally a power couple. [PJO]

4. Narusasu (Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha) - no disrespect towards sasusaku and naruhina, I just saw more in narusasu throughout the series and I’m not afraid to say they are just soulmates at this point [Naruto]

5. Marylily (Mary Macdonald and Lily Evans) - such an interesting ship with just the best dynamics but I never see anything about them sadly [The Marauders]

6. Klance (Keith Kogane and Lance McClain) - they have a silly dynamic and I love them. Not much else to say here [VLD]

7. ItaFushi (Itadori Yujii and Megumi Fushiguro) - now I know that they are just friends. This is more of a little ship I love to play around with because I like them and I think it could be a possibility. I see them as friends too but I sometimes love to ship them as well [Jujutsu Kaisen]

8. Killugon (Killua Zoldyk and Gon Freecs) - now before I get flamed, I do only ship them in a romantic manner, and I don’t sexualize them I promise. Those two are just soulmates, what can I say. [Hunter X Hunter]

9. Xander Hawthorne and Max Liu - I remember wondering if their relationship felt extra and rushed but as I’m reading the inheritance games, they become the only couple I would ever be able to stand. I love those two and they both vibe amazingly together [TIG]

10. RanPoe (Ranpo Edogawa and Edgar Allen Poe) - love them and SSKK is right next to them. I love their silly vibes [BSD]

{I do have many more ships that I love but these are the ones I thought of first. There’s still Jegulus and Regulily and Shokohime and Solangelo and Matchablossom and renga and oh so many more lol}

Characters:

This one will be hard to choose from because I honestly have so many…

Megumi Fushiguro (Jujutsu Kaisen) - idk why but I just really love him so much. I wanna give him a big hug even tho ik he wouldn’t appreciate it but it’s the principle of it that counts. (JJK is also one of my favorite shows currently so I have a surplus amount of favorite characters but since I want to talk about a variety of fandoms, I’ll list my other favorites here: Gojo Satoru, Choso, Itadori Yuji, Shoko Ieri, Geto Suguru, Inumaki Toge, Maki Zenin)

Percy Jackson (PJO) - ik ik hes the main character but he’s a loveable main character ya know? I love a lot of PJO characters but Percy will always have my heart

Bachira Meguru (BlueLock) - idk why he’s my favorite but the vibes he gives really work well with mine and I feel like we could be absolute best friends

Shikamaru Nara (Naruto) - smartass, lazyass, sarcastic, literally me. He’s legit the only character with common sense sometimes lol and I always relate to him on some level

~~~Three Demon Slayer characters~~~ Giyuu Tomioka (idk why, maybe it the vibes), Tanjiro Kamado (main character ik but I still really like him), and Kyojiro Rengoku (Spoilers for mungen train arc ig?: I cried bitter tears when he died)

Shadow the Hedgehog (Sonic-verse) - I feel stupid for saying this one cause it’s like little children stuff ig but hey, no judgement please?

Keith Kogane (VLD) - I’m starting to see a pattern here….

Max Mayfield (Stranger Things) - she’s an amazing character and a girl with an actual personality that isn’t just “mean and badass” or whatever. She’s very relatable too. (Other favorite ST characters are Will Byers, Joyce Byers, Steve Harrington, Lucus Sinclair, Eleven Hopper)

Marvel~~~ Bucky Barnes (and winter soldier), Peter Parker (and Miles Morales. Just about any Spider-Man version. Almost all of them), Wanda Maximoff

Regulus Black, Remus Lupin, Lily Evans (all from The Marauders… sorry I couldn’t choose one lol)

sooooo…. That’s a lot more than ten but I tried lol. Thanks for the ask again! It was fun responding to this :)

[the1975attheirverybest]

just had this idea and couldnt not share it:

Going to the studio one day w/ Matty and seeing them work so passionately and excitedly. Maybe your eyes drift to Matty’s hands as he is speaking or touching dials on the sound board. Your mind starts racing and suddenly you need him now. You try to get his attention and he keeps brushing you off saying he has to finish the part he thought of until in front of everyone he hears a firm “Matthew Healy.” With that, he knows what’s happening and he makes everyone take lunch. You can come up with the rest, whether he is dom/sub and just exactly HOW you need him.

idk thought this could be a fun little thing to write :)

OKAY BUT PLEASE THIS PLAYS RIGHT INTO MY FANTASY!!! Cuz have y’all heard those two “Tape Notes” episodes?! NOTHING is hotter to me than when Matty talks about how some songs were made. And like, I only play guitar, so I don’t really know that much technical stuff about music production but it’s still SUCH A turn on. Just how much he loves his job and how if the drums are even a notch too loud/ too low, he hates it. AND if the guitar is “too perfect” he won’t let it go. It has to sound a little bit warped. His whole “faded splendor” bit that he loves to bring up in every interview. Ugh. So. Fucking. Sexy. So, yeah, I’d imagine if he ever brings his partner around the studio, it would be….a lot.

Like imagine watching him sit there, between the mixing board on one side, and the big computer on the other. And he’s just in his chair, wheeling back and forth between the two, testing out different variations, asking George why it’s not quite right yet.

George is just like “okay, how about we loop the drum track so it keeps playing throughout the song.”

But Matty immediately scuffs, hating the idea. “That’s just lazy musicianship. If the emotion shifts and the words change, the melody has got to change with it. Don’t go with the easy option.”

George is frustrated. “I wasn’t bein’ lazy; I was keeping literally the one thing you said you liked about the arrangement. The fuckin drums.”

Matty frowns, deep in thought, picking at his lower lip, a subconscious habit he doesn’t realize he’s doing half the time. “Nah, there’s something else we haven’t thought of. Let me hear it again?” And he puts the headset on, but only one ear, so he could leave the other ear available to George as they talk through it.

“Don’t like it. Nope. It just sounds too put together. I hate that.”

“I know. I get that. I just don’t know what would make it less crisp without- like getting in the way of the song.”

At this point, she’s melting, obviously. She’s way past listening to their actual conversation, and is just watching Matty’s fingers push the buttons on the mixing board, wishing that the machine were her body instead. Memorizing the way his fingers slide the dial from one side to the other to create that distorted effect that he wants, and imaging instead that he is sliding his finger down her body, anticipating him touching her core. She shudders slightly, reminding herself that there’s people around.

She decides he needs to be as worked up as she is. So she walks over to him, hugging him from the back of the chair, sliding her hands down his chest and kissing his earlobe seductively whispering something about taking a quick break to “refresh” his mind and body. He’s too in the zone to catch onto her innuendo, though, so he shrugs her off, mumbling something about how taking a break and interrupting the process would be the absolute worst thing he could right now. He’s just on the cusp of a break through, he can FEEL it. He just needs to put things together the right way.

His absent-mindedness is weirdly even more attractive to her. The fact that his mind could be so absorbed in something that he loses his sense of his surroundings makes her heart swell and the rest of her body get turned on. Maybe it’s the joy written all over his face when he’s engaged in something that he so clearly loves, maybe it’s the way he completely opens up when working, whatever it is, it’s HOT as fuck and it makes her want him more.

She keeps trying. She scoots her seat next to his, brushing her arm against his as he squints into the screen, fiddling with the production software, having taken over from George. She brushes his curls out of his eyes so “he can see better.” But nothing is working. So, finally, he’s out of subtle tricks. She has to resort to blunt honesty. She takes a deep breath, standing up with a hand on her hip and yelling out “Matthew Timothy Healy! What on earth is wrong with you? I’m trying to fuck you over here!”

Matty finally looks up, taking the headset off his ears and holding in a giggle. He looks at her, winks, and turns to the guys. “George…you guys are….hungry right now, yeah?”

George takes the hint and rounds everyone up and they all leave. The door is barely closed behind them before Matty springs to action, hoisting her up by the waist, and setting her onto the desk. Apparently, her willingness to announce to the world that she wants him to rail her to death is as attractive to Matty as his passion is to her. So he gets right to it, knowing that she’s been ready and desperate for a minute now.

His hands are shoddy, just grabbing and squeezing wherever they land, kisses whiny, swallowing each others high-pitched moans. He alternated between kissing and biting down her body, to keep her on her toes. Just when she thinks she’s got his pattern down, he changes things up. He all but tears her shirt apart, taking her nipple into his mouth, sucking, causing her to cry out. His hand is on the other breast, squeezing, pinching, scratching. Her brain goes into overdrive r from the mixture of sensations. Some soft, some rough, some tingle, some hurt. She can’t keep up, and when he’s ready to make her cum, he pushes her to lay down on the table. She mumbles something about laying on top of his expensive equipment and he says he doesn’t care.

“You don’t; but George might.”

“Oh, whatever. That mixing board is mine anyway.”

When he pushes her arms above her head to hold her wrists in place as he fucked into her, one of her fingers accidentally turns the recording button on. Matty’s too caught up in making absolutely sure he makes it hard for her to stand after this, to notice what’s happened. So as she whines, begs, and chants his name, the computer is getting it alllllll on record. When they’re eventually done, and Matty is kissing all the spots on her body where he might have left bruises, he notices the green light is on, which indicates recording. He laughs, and goes to the computer to click “play” on the file.

She’s stunned in place. Her hand goes to cover her mouth. Her face is turning every shade of every color in embarrassment, but Matty is absolutely loving it. He clicks “save.” And she squeals and yelps and kicks her feet and wants to kill him.

But he’s all like “well, listen, this might just be the missing ingredient that we’ve needed all day.”

Yeah….I think about studio Matty a lot.

[snackugaki]

Originally posted as a reblog

but! now with more speedrun run-on sentence speculationing because I have ✨A Problem™✨

hokay. so. here’s the earth. I don’t really go there, it’s not my jurisdiction, my dvd region or IP address but I know you gotta have your control group and experimental groups, so. do I know if splinter and the boys should actually be referred to the as the control group? hahahahha-- no, not at all. but no scientist is over my shoulder to check my work so moving on.

April’s dad probably tried to go an ethics board or OSHA or whatever for Sacks’ bullshit, didn’t get anywhere so took shit into his own hands ‘cuz I guess fuck them animals-- doesn’t matter April Hogosha O’Neil saves Splinter and the boys. Lab’s ruined, Sacks is out (supposedly) one big-ass container of ooze. now a person with their shit together would have gathered the information in order to proceed to the next point.

but.

ha!  anyway. Sadsack kills April’s dad, and probably has a tiff and a half with Shredder about the lab destruction. Shredder probably got maaaad, like you’re his student and you got your whole shit destroyed in a fire? embarrassing. anyway, Shredder’s shrewd as fuck, keeps Sadsack on to do his little science things but now monitored. heavily. i’mma pretend the experimental groups were housed in a different building and thus spared the control group’s fiery “death”. Shredder’s a hoarder with a sunk-cost fallacy complex and probably kept those going under a different team. Sadsack wasn’t notified because a) Shredder can’t trust him with nothing apparently 2) if he did know, he’s the kind of arrogant prick to be all “do not sully my mind with subgrade projects wah wah, my dumbass likes to pretend I’m so calculating but a nerd with a lighter ruined like x years of research”

turns out those experimental groups became something, wow. I’d feel like in terms of testing out multiple variations of the formula, venus and jennika had the least, then slash, then tokka and rahzar. and just ‘cuz all this was started by being tagged in someone’s ask... I feel like maybe Mona and Leatherhead were an extra test group tacked onto the roster after seeing Venus and Jennika gain sentience and gorgeous cheekbones. ‘cuz if that happened, “wouldn’t it be dope if we got a komodo dragon (instead of a salamander, or maybe some Jurassic Park shit and splicing that salamander into a komodo dragon lol y not) and an alligator to do a backflip while throwing a knife?”

anyway, everyone’s gaining sentience like a tiktok dance trend, Venus and Jennika get carted away from the Foot scientists to train. for how long? until what age? i dunno, whatever’ll endear them most to the grandpa character I’d have them meet in Chinatown after they decide to go rogue. but backtracking, they get some training in before plot shenanigans and hey, they should go to nyc because “we have a branch of the Foot Clan there, USDA, FDA, NBA, CIA, FBI are too nosy so we’ll ship our more containment breachy subjects to japan or whereever we can keep thing until we can introduce them in later movies that’d happen in a brighter timeline.”

so like, first of all, you can’t tell kids nothing, and the Foot were the dumbasses who decided to teach teenage girls paramilitarized ninjutsu ig idk how the Foot was supposed to be in the bay movies. Sites say it’s a paramilitary group started by Sacks’n Shredder, Shredder talks as if it’s a reincarnation of the ninja Foot Clan so.... whatevs, my daughters learn ninjutsu. and they’re being shipped off to nyc. and because you can’t keep humanity down Venus and Jennika’s “trainers” didn’t depersonalize them like they were supposed to, and look, they’ve got personalities now. they have hobbies. you ruined a perfectly good killing machine is what you did. 

and ‘cuz teenage girls are the most unstoppable force on this planet, they break out mid-shipment and enter nyc on their own terms. bright, shiny nyc to girls who can turn your guts into confetti. amazing, perfect. just gonna glide over unnecessary shit and just assume they slipped through NYC like Leo did in the Mutanimal base in the IDW run (which, I have to give that couple of pages its flowers, that was the most real life ninja shit I’ve ever seen in a TMNT comic in my accessible memory bravo) cue nyc tourist montage. my girls are not above swiping shit directly off of people, so they have a great time. they grab beef patties and chopped cheeses, like 20 little blue cups of nyc joe, they swipe I <3 NY shirts that they can kinda fit in (good luck fitting into that shit when you’re older babes)

they wind up in Chinatown (clikkit is2g) did a great job of flying under human radar and oops, not this one old man. lucky for my daughters they’re lucky (plotwise) and lucky (symbolically), that Old Man Chung offers them refuge, cue bonding montage, aww, an old man scuttling after rambunctious freshly adopted daughters. Grandpa Chung has a traditional medicine shop, let’s say Brooklyn’s Chinatown in Sunset Park just like in my tmnt au  and Venus learns his trade and branches off from there, they hang out with the Tai Chi uncles and aunties on Sundays and then, oh no! purple dragons!

cue the City At War arc which would’ve worked wonderfully with the bay movies (as a little entree before krang comes back “stronger”), worth at least two extra movies, Bay could blow up as many luxury brand cars as his widdle hearty-wearty desires with them. ....shit that would have been so fucking cool.

anyway, blah blah, City At War adaptation, everyone’s fighting, shit’s getting confusing-- bam! turtle on turtle violence then reconciliation then sick-ass group hero shot and bad guys just getting shellshocked left’n right. turtle chaos. Leo and Raph absolutely mandatorily must get dunked on. it’s in my contract. donnie and mikey are fine. Venus won’t even fight Donnie too much on the science/’magic’ shit because she figured out where he keeps the pop tarts and just ‘cuz bay Donnie seems too chill and level-headed to get worked up about the whole “wuh bUt mAgiC hAs No sCieNtiFiC bAaAaAsiS baa baa baa” but probably asks why Venus collects so many discarded crystal rocks, “.. sometimes rock shiny, rock nice! most important... rock projectile weapon, hhgkh!!” 

thank you, this has been my TMNTTedTalk.