#but idk i cant help being excited to go back into the world

[poorlymanufacturedgirl]

big fan of stories being told with natural conclusions and being respectfully left alone from then on. however fiona and cake looks really good im sorry

[kalechipswithasideofkale]

my adrenaline has gone down finally so i feel i can give my thoughts on this season

no more faks! no more! please!

i think the series is taking inspiration from different art movements and genres. season one - surrealism?, season two - modernism?, season three - baroque? im not well versed on this stuff but i definitely noticed they use different forms of art to make the seasons feel different from one another

piggybacking off the earlier bulletin; i think thats also why this season feels like all flash and no substance. whatever movement or era they decided to do with season three is very ou la la oui oui i zam an artist bonjour /nm its very different from the movements they went with in the past seasons. this one feels serious and fancy smancy

i still think they’re going to go through with sydcarmy and this season just solidifies it. syd and carmy are severly mentally ill with issues they need to work out. they dont handle stress and expectations well if at all.

i think some of the things being said by the characters are being taken at face value specifically carmy calling claire peace. i dont think the writers are writing claire to be a source of peace for carmy; hes just so in denial and confused about his emotions he knows he supposed to feel peace from claire but cant figure out why he doesnt

i missed marcus sweeps and tina in this season so much. and syd! i was excited for sweeps to go to wine school only for it to be a one off thing. the tina episode was good but thats the only thing i can think of from the top of my head that she stood out in. marcus’ mom died? but it feels like she didnt die at all? like the weight of his moms death isnt being felt in his character and that made me really sad. i wanted a little more with syd and marcus with their moms :/

im not angry at carmy somehow? i just feel this deep sadness because he is so unlike himself. my initial frustrations with the season made it hard for me to look at his character. now that ive calmed down, he just makes me sad. like thinking about him makes me feel like a wet sausage dude he needs serious help and im scared he’s gonna do something very bad in this next season/part

i was really hoping there would be more parallels between new york carmy and current syd. they might explore it in season 4 and i really hope they do!

where tf was everyone else in the emergency room and why was it the two faks. there is no dissection in the world that will make me okay with those losers being there im sawry

syd being the first person sugar called and claire being the last mhm yup 🙂‍↕️

a good chunk of claire and carmys scenes being muted or cool colors once again!

RICHIE AND HIS DAUGHTER AA!! i wish they had an entire episode dedicated to them theyre so cute!

theres something to be said about loneliness and isolation this season? again i would need to rewatch the season. something something carmy pushing syd away something something nat fearing giving birth because of her mom something something syd having a breakdown and isolating herself from the rest of the fam something something

pete ❤️

chris you have reached ur limit on white male characters enough is enough theres NO MORE ROOM

ngl i actually liked seeing john cena on my screen yall pls

why are we so close to everyones face i zont like zat at all

i thought they were going to bring louis back and got so excited!!! BRING BACK LOUIS

they wrap up the claire storyline by season 4 or part three?? whatever theyre doing idk

LUCA!!!!!!

as much one sided beef i have with jlc she delivered i crode very hard

backseating the characters of color is very lame and bogus! i hated it! what happened to tinas friends she met at school? does ebra not have family? syd and her dad? marcus and his roommate? so many characters they could introduce from sydney marcus tina ebra fuck even angel and manny but they insist on introducing characters that have ties to the berzattos. i hate it! i really do!

syds apartment? where did you go fren….

i wish they were more artsy fartsy with carmys internal struggles give me cringe film student vibes please ill take anything

FUCK CICERO he didnt do anything but PISS ME OFF >:(

why didnt they have syd work out the economics (or whatever tf that computer dude did do). didnt she do something like that in season one? i guess since cicero called him it makes sense

richie and nat are so adorable i love them!!!!

overall pretty mediocre season. it was okay for a show like the bear. i don’t agree with having an entire season dedicated to build up! or atleast in the way they’ve done it in season 3. season 1 was a prologue for the entire show yet it still felt like a complete season. alot of the things that went down in season three either could’ve been compressed into a shorter span of time or they could’ve gotten more episodes (as if its that easy lol but the pacing wouldn’t have suffered as much if the season was longer). um decent season? i dont hate it! i dont love it either. like i said it feels soulless and maybe thats the intention? idk man 😔

i will most definitely be seated for season four TRUST

[mostlymarvelsstuff]

Idk if ur taking request butttttt can we have another chapter of “bleeding out” where they are all preparing for the baby buttt when the time comes angst comes idk like u cant put spice into it like something happens to Wanda or nat or reader is away on a mission and Wanda won’t have the baby till they come which causes complications or idk like mostly fluff with a bit of angst or like all angst but fluffy ending yk where theirs complications with Wanda but they end up having twins (you can chose the gender) or idk triplets that would be cool lmfao but idk I kinda wanna see the time during the pregnancy and the arrival of the pregnancy yk yk idk i im just excited to like see what would happen and me saying idk a lot is just me getting anxiety typing this and getting all giddy lmao but of course only if u want to you don’t have to :)) <33

Bleeding Out, part 5

Authors note: again, sorry this took so long.

Authors note 2: This is the final chapter for this fic, I really hope you all enjoyed it and I can't thank you all enough for reading 💖

Word count: 3687

Warnings: angsty with happy end

WandaNat Masterlist Marvel Masterlist Bleeding Out Masterlist

   The past few months have kept the three of you rather busy. After Wanda's first appointment with the doctor the three of you realized the small apartment wouldn't suffice for all of you so a housing search began. Thankfully house hunting was easy, as you all had relatively the same needs and wants for a home, and it didn’t take long to make the purchase, or pack. But moving and unpacking weren't the only things keeping you all busy. 

   Natasha has had to go to the compound a few times now, mostly due to paperwork for SHIELD or to help settle some sort of disagreement. Not to mention giving orders and assignments, as with Tony back in retirement and Steve newly in it she was back to being in command. You’ve been doing the same, only not for being a leader. Instead you've been helping Maria train the newer SHIELD recruits. And both of you had strict rules from Wanda, no missions.

   And Wanda, well she was in full mother hen mode. Every room now had evidence that your family was expanding. The kitchen had new cutlery, plates, sippy cups and bottles. The living room had bouncers, a playpen and toys. Your bedroom had a high tech monitor system hooked up to nearly every other room in the house. And of course, the twins' room had everything. Changing table, dressers, cribs, toys, blankets, pillows, clothes. 

   Now, of course Wanda hadn’t been the only one to set these things up. In fact you and Natasha hadn’t let her lift a finger when it came to anything that actually needed to be built, the two of you handled that. She handled the smaller things. Like organizing the clothes in the dressers and closet, or putting up decor.

   But lately she's been feeling a bit more restless. Checking and rechecking that everything in each room was in its place, snapping at one of you if a stuffie or blanket was even a centimeter off from her previous check. Neither of you held it against her, you knew it was a mixture of hormones, excitement and anxiety that caused her to fuss so much. And you both tried your best to assure her everything was fine and convince her to sit and relax. Unfortunately for you though, getting her to relax wasn’t an option right now.

   “What did you just say?”

   You gulp, setting your keys down on the countertop “I uhm, well…Natasha, she….”

   “Y/n” Wanda stresses as her hands for fists at her sides

   “She left the compound. She's in the quinjet as we speak. I came home to tell you right away”

   The Sokovians huffs out a humorless laugh, “Of course she is. Not like she has a family at home that will worry about her safety”

   “That isn’t fair” you try to defend, but before you can finish your sentence she's interrupting you

   “No, Y/n. What's not fair is watching you die. What's not fair is coming back to a world without Natasha. What's not fair is even with two lives growing inside of me, our babies, she can’t understand why I want the two of you home, with me” she explains, letting her sadness and worry show through her anger

   “Oh, Wands” you coo, quickly pulling her into a hug and letting her cry on your shoulder, “Tasha understands, she does. She lost me too, and then she lost you. Trust me baby, she understands”

   Wanda sniffles a bit, “Then why did she go? And why couldn’t she at least talk to me about it first”

   “Because there wasn’t time to talk, love.” you tell her, kissing her temple, “Yelena was out on a mission. It wasn’t supposed to be anything too risky, but you know how things go. She got pinned down and called in for backup. You and I both know nothing and nobody could have stopped Tasha from being on that rescue team. That's her little sister”

   “I’m sorry I jumped to conclusions like that” she admits, feeling guilty for thinking Natasha was back to her careless and reckless ways, “I just worry about you two. A lot. Even with mundane things like going out for milk or picking up something I’m craving. I just…I can’t be without either of you again. Especially not now. The boys will need you both just as much as I do”

   “I know baby, I know” you reassure her, guiding her to the kitchen island and helping her onto one of the seats, “I’ll make you some tea, ok? And I’ll check in with Tasha as frequently as you need me too”

   She smiles at you, appreciative of your care and ability to help her be calm, “Thank you malysh(baby)”

   You quickly move over to the stove and grab the kettle. You fill it up with an adequate amount of water before putting it on the stove to bring it to a boil. You stop for a brief moment to give her a peck on the check before heading over to the cupboard to grab her favorite tea. 

   “Oh!” 

   Wandas gasp pulls you from your task, “Baby, you ok?”

   “I think my water just broke”

   Your eyes widen in panic, “It did not”

   “The puddle on the floor beneath me says otherwise”

   You rush over to her side and sure enough, puddle. “But they aren’t due for another month!”

   Despite the discomfort of the contractions that have started she giggles at your panicked response, “I don’t think they really care about that malysh(baby)”

   “Right, sorry. You stay here, I’ll grab and load your bag and come back to help you”

   She nods in agreement but you don’t even notice because you’ve already darted off towards the door to the garage. You quickly grab the car keys and Wanda's duffle bag and head into the garage. You toss the bag into the backseat and start the car before heading back inside to gather your girlfriend.

   “Ok, cars ready so let's get you in it” you tell her as you help her stand

  You help her get into the car and it takes all of your willpower not to peel out of the driveway like you're the star of the next Fast and Furious movie. 

   “We have to call Tasha” she says, as you concentrate on not getting caught at the next redlight

   You nod, “Let's worry about getting to the hospital first. But I promise as soon as you're in a room I will call her”

    You finally pull into the hospital parking lot and get Wanda inside. The nurses were quick to get her in a wheelchair so she didn’t have to stand while experiencing contractions, and it only took them a few minutes more to get the two of you into a room.

   You pace at the back of the room while they get your girlfriend into a hospital gown, and help her get settled into the bed. The phone in your hand keeps ringing before going to voicemail for the third time, causing a knot of anxiety to build in your chest.

   “Tasha, please babe. Answer the phone.” you mutter to the recording of her voice before trying again. But you only end up getting her voicemail again, “Baby, please. Wanda's water broke. We’re at the hospital now, but we need you here."

   You hang up and dejectedly walk over to Wanda's bedside, you know the fact that you couldn't get ahold of Natasha is going to make her both worry for the Russians safety as well as be livid with her.

   "How soon will she get here?"

   You nervously scratch the back of your head, “Well, uh, I actually didn’t manage to get ahold of her”

   The Sokovians eyes widen and her grip on the sheets tighten as another contraction hits her, “What do you mean? Y/n, she has to be here for this. She has to be”

   “Shh, I know love. I know” you reassure her, cupping her face, “I’ll keep trying ok? Try not to worry too much over it. Just try to focus on you and the boys.”

   Just then her doctor walks in and begins to check over your girlfriend and the babies. Everything with her and the babies is fine, all are healthy. But to Wanda's chagrin she's told that while she's not quite ready to deliver yet, it should only be a few more hours

   “I can’t do it until my other girlfriend gets here. I can’t give birth to our boys without her”

   She eyes her sympathetically, “I understand why this upsets you Miss Maximoff, but unfortunately there's no way to stop them from coming out once they are ready”

    Two hours have passed now, and you're still frantically trying to get ahold of Nat while Wanda holds your other hand in a vice-like grip. You don’t mind though because you know if your anxiety is through the roof at this situation then hers must be the height of the Empire State building.

   “Still no answer. Nothing from Yelena either”

    A few tears roll down Wanda's cheeks, “What if she's hurt? What if…what if something really bad has happened and she lying out there wondering if she’ll ever see us again”

  “Hey, hey. Come on baby, don’t think like that” you try to calm both yourself and her, brushings her tears away

   “How can I not?!” she practically sobs, “She wasn’t supposed to be out there Y/n, she was supposed to be at home. She's supposed to be here. And she's not.”

   “I know love” You sigh, “But this is Tasha we’re talking about. Do you really think she's going to let anyone or anything stop her from coming back home to us?”

   Her lower lip trembles, “I don’t- Oh!”

   “What is it?”

   “The contractions” she grits out, cradling her belly, “They’re getting more painful”

   A few contractions later her doctor comes back into the room to check on Wanda's progress, “I’m going to lift your gown now Miss Maximoff to check on you, alright?”

   Your girlfriend nods her approval, and while she originally thought this part would excite her she finds herself filled with dread instead. She's not ready to do this. Not without Natasha by her side too. Not without knowing if her other girlfriend is even alive right now.

   “Okay, well you’re fully dilated now, so it’s time to get you ready to push.”

    Wanda shakes her head, “No. No, I can’t”

   “My love, you have to get ready. The boys are ready to join us” you tell her, trying not to let any tears of your own fall

   “No! Not without Tasha!” she sobs, grasping onto you tightly, “Please, please I need Tasha to be here too!”

   “Baby, I- ”

   You're interrupted by a woman's shriek a few doors down, but before you can question the doctor to make sure everything is alright a familiar goofy voice rings out, “Oh! Sorry! That's my mistake ma'am, wrong room!”

   “Clint I swear to god, if I miss the birth of my sons because you forgot what room….”

   “I didn't forget! The lady at the desk said room 36!” he defends, “Thes sixes and eights just look too much alike when you have a concussion!” 

    You can feel all tension fade away from the woman holding your hand as she hears the familiar voices and the doctor, noticing the smiles on your faces moves out to the hall to gather everyone, “Excuse me, but this is the room you’re wanting”

   Recognizing Wanda's doctor Natasha taps Yelena's shoulder repeatedly and the blonde quickly helps her sister into the room with Clint right behind them. The three are a sight for sore eyes, and honestly they look quite sore themselves.

   A layer of sweat and grime covering each of them, and their bare skin sports a few scrapes and bruises. Clint's head is bandaged up, and he's holding an ice pack to a rather large bump, and his nose has a bandage over the bridge. Yelena's arm, the one that isn't wrapped around her sister's waist, is in a sling and her pinky and ring finger are wrapped up together. And Natasha, her left ankle and knee are both wrapped up with a makeshift boot supporting her.

   “Tasha!” you call out, rushing to her and gently embracing her, “God, you had us worried sick!”

   “I know, I know” she replies as you help her hop over to Wanda, who is quick to latch onto the hand Nat offers her, “I’m so sorry moya lyubov'(my loves). Yelena's phone and mine only had enough service to receive your voicemails, Clints took a bullet, and I couldn’t call from the quinjet because it took an emp blast”

  “Yeah, we had to steal a helicopter just to get here” Yelena admits

   “You stole a helicopter?” you tease

    Clint nods and smiles proudly, “It's on the roof”

    “I really am sorry” Nat says, bringing your attention and Wanda's back to her, “I didn’t mean to worry you both so much, or get hurt or be late

   “Shhh” Wanda sighs, cupping the older woman's face, “You're safe, and you're here. That's all that matters”

   As soon as she finishes the sentence another contraction hits her causing her to gasp out in pain. The way Natasha tenses next to you and her eyes rack over the pregnant woman in concern warms your heart and you wrap an arm around her to offer comfort

   “It's ok babe, it's just a contraction. It’s normal”

   “You're sure?” she asks, letting her hand rest on Wanda's belly

   “Positive” the doctor replies for you as she stands at the end of the bed, “And with how close together they are now, it's time to push.”

   Clint grabs a hold of Yelena's uninjured arms shoulder and makes a move towards the door, “We’ll be waiting out here”

   A few nurses enter the room with a bassinet, ready to help the doctor and Wanda bring the boys into the world. They instruct her while you and Natasha help keep her as calm and comfortable as possible.

   It takes Wanda two hours to push the larger of the two out, and his loud cries fill the room. You're smiling so wide your cheeks are hurting and Nat can hardly see him through her tears but she laughs at the way his little arms wiggle as the nurse cleans him.

   “You did so good baby” you assure Wanda, running a hand through her sweaty hair

   “And he's so active already” Nat adds in excitement 

   She smiles at you both, but it quickly turns into a grimace as the next twin gets ready to make his entrance. The doctor once again prompts her to push and a mere twenty minutes later he's being cleaned up by the nurses as her cries and coos.

   “You did so good detka(baby)” Natasaha praises, kissing Wanda's forehead gently

   “Can I see my boys?” she asks, barely managing to keep her tired eyes open

   “Of course” the nurse cleaning her up says, signaling for one of the others to bring over the already cleaned up baby over to you all

   Tears spill down the Sokovians cheeks when she sees his little face, its very reminiscent of her brothers. And Nat can't help but smile at the small amount of reddish brown hair that adorns the top of his head

   “Hes perfect Wans” you exclaim, holding his little hand

   Nat nods, “He really is.”

   “He looks so much like Piet” Wanda admits, a sad smile on her face

   “Then let's honor your brother, just as Clint did” Nat says looking to you for approval and you quickly nod, “William Pietro Maximoff-Romanoff”

   Wanda's eyes widen, “You mean it? But what about your last name Y/n?”

   “Of course we mean it” Nat assures

   “And I’ve always liked your last names better. So when we marry, mine will cease to be. So no need to add it to the boys names”

   “Marry?”

   You and Nat laugh at how softly Wanda had squeaked out the word, “Of course. You didn’t think Y/n and I would get you magically knocked up and then not marry you, did you?”

   “Well no, I figured it would come eventually” she admits, “But hearing that confirmed just makes me really happy”

   Finally the other baby is brought over and Wanda takes him in her other arm. Your smile never falters when you see him, but Natasha can no longer hold back her tears. The smaller boy is the spitting image of the Russian, he even has her eyes

   “He's perfect too” you exclaim, rubbing the redheads back

   “He certainly is. If only he looked like someone we now too” Wanda playfully says, looking at Nat

  “He looks like me.” she says, volume barely above a whisper

   Wanda smiles at her, “He looks just like you dorogoy(darling)”

   “You're your Mamas boy, aren’t you” you coo, tickling his chin, “Thomas Natan Maximoff-Romanoff”

   Nats eyes fill with even more tears as you honor her with the closest male slavic name for his middle one, “Thank you my loves. Thank you.”

   “Of course Tasha” Wanda replies, “Now tell their Aunt and Uncle to get in here and meet them”

   Although Natasha is happy enough that she feels like she could simply float out into the hallway to grab them both, she is still nursing an injured leg. Something which you quickly remember.

   “Stay here Tasha. I’ll get them.” you walk over to the door and open it, peeking around the doorframe, “Come meet your nephews”

   Both practically scurry into the room after you and Clint can’t help but chuckle at how Nat already embodies a proud Mama, even still in her dirty post mission gear. He and Yelena sit on the opposite side of the bed from you and Nat and as soon as Yelena sees them she becomes emotional

   “Oh sestra(sister), they're so squishy looking”

   Clint laughs, “What she means is, they're beautiful”

   “Yes, that too. But their cheeks are just so plump” she gasps as her eyes study Tommy more cleary, “Oh my god, he is just like you.”

   “Wow, he really is the spitting image of you Nat and his brother, he looks just like….like…”

   “Like Pietro” Wanda finishes with a smile

   “Yeah. Just like Pietro”

   “Well I hope you don’t mind that we took your idea Nat says, “His name is William Pietro Maximoff-Romanoff”

   “Perfect. I’m sure Nathan won't mind sharing a middle name”

   “But a mouthful” Yelena adds

   “Billy for short. And his middle name will only be used when he's in trouble” Wanda adds

  The blonde nods, “And what of my sestras(sisters) doppelganger, what's his name?”

   “This is Thomas Natan Maximoff-Romanoff” 

   Yelena beams, “Beautiful.”

   “Tommy for short?” Clint asks and Nat nods, “Billy and Tommy. I like it.”

   “We do too” you tell him, gently scooping Billy out of a barely awake Wandas arm, “Rest love, Tasha and I will watch over them”

   Nat follows your lead and goes to pick up  Tommy but you slap her hand away. She looks at you for a moment, confused by your reaction until she glances down at her dirt covered hands. She smiles sheepishly and you merely shake your head as you stand. 

   “Y/n is right. Rest up” Nat tells her as you place Billy in the bassinet. 

   “Thank you moya lyubov'(my loves)” she mumbles, smiling as you come back and take Tommy from her 

   After you get him settled beside his brother you return and help Natasha to her feet and the two of you leave Wanda to rest while you admire your sons. You both practically melt when the boys both turn on their sides to face each other and wrap each other up in their embrace, and you wonder if this is how they looked the entire time they grew within Wanda.

   “I love them so much already” Nat whispers 

   You nod, “I do too. And I love you. I’m glad you're alright.”

   She turns to you and smiles, “I love you too, and nothing would have stopped me from coming back to the four of you”

   You lean forward and capture her plush lips in a soft kiss, her hands instinctively find purchase on your waist as she savors the feel of having you close. Truth be told she had been scared she may not make it back in time, if at all, and she finds this embrace to be rather grounding.

   Wanda smiles as she watches the two of you embrace, and as she shuts her eyes for some much needed sleep she feels whole for the first time in a long time. She will always miss her brother and parents, but knowing she’ll always have Clint and Yelena as family and getting to meet her boys has helped fill that void that she once thought would never close. 

   Now all she needed to do was talk you and Nat into a full retirement, so there would be no more scares like today. But that was a battle for another time, when she actually had energy. For now she’ll happily drift off to sleep knowing that her boys are in good hands.

   You pull away from the Russian eventually and smile at her, “Go get cleaned up babe. That bathroom here is huge so I’m sure the shower will feel just as good as the one at home does”

   “My extra clothes are in the duffle, right?”

   You nod, “Yup, and I already set the bag in there. Are you going to need help?”

   “No, I should be able to manage. Besides its a hospital so the shower will have a seat I can use” she says before hobbling off

   Clint smiles as he takes in each of you, and he finds himself tearing up a bit. Because life truly is a gift, as are second chances, and he's glad fate saw fit to bestow those gifts upon the three of you. No one was more deserving of a happy ending.

Taglist: @wandaromamoff69 @when-wolves-howl @danveration @sheneonromanoff @sayah13 @likefirenrain @nighttime-dreaming @just-a-torn-up-masterpiece @chaoticevilbakugo @crystalstark02 @wackymcstupid @lovelyy-moonlight @blackwidow-3 @mistressofinsomnia @that-one-gay-mosquito @yomamagf @yourfavdummy @justarandomreaderxoxo @scoutlp23-blog @whoischanelle15 @lissaaaa145 @eline03 @wizardofstories@imthenatynat @marvelonmymind @fluffyblanketgecko @bitch-616 @dakotastorm @zoomdeathknight @aeroae @sashawalker2

[clownhonkbonk]

talk about all of good omens s2!!! spoilers !!!

also, amazing job to everyone who worked on it !!!

you are going to be responsible for many therapy bills.

so uhm

that

that fucking ending

holy

i genuinely have no words

thats a lie i have so many words idk how to sort them out

like. okay, most of this is just me relaying what happened back to me cause frankly cant believe it.

( there's more talk than just the ending i promise -)

such, internalized ''homophobia'' ( i add quotation marks because they are not actually gay cause they're lil non binary guys but it is reflecting that ) and religious trauma .. that hurt so much when aziraphale just didn't know what to do, he put his hands on crowley briefly and then took them away, you could just tell what was happening and that hurt so much.

you could see how much crowley got affected by this

and then he expected aziraphale to see his side. to understand and then aziraphale would appologise, and they'd make up, and get an alcoholic breakfast at the ritz, just like they always did . but then he saw them walking out together. showing aziraphale choosing the " possiblity" of making something better of heaven, maybe stopping the destruction of earth completely. but crowley knows that it wont happen like that. crowley understands what heaven and hell are really like, but aziraphale is just so afraid of the thought.

crowley turned down hell for aziraphale and immediately thought aziraphale would do the same for him. they'd always been there for each other why could it have to stop then.

may you be forgiven is what aziraphale says when he does something that aziraphale thinks god would disagree on. or that heaven might disapprove. ( not of course including communicating with the enemy ) but then , a demon kissed him and he didn't pull away, he didnt try to stop it he froze. Let's make this clear, aziraphale very clearly loves crowley dearly, he is in love with crowley, but he still believes in heaven, and is stuck in his ideals of things of heaven is " the good guys " and hell is " the bad guys "

Crowley knows far better, he's known since he first got thrown out of heaven just for asking questions and throwing in some suggestions. he knows that neither one of heaven and hell are the good or bad guys. He sees the world in " a very dark shade of grey " while honestly being the nicest out of the angels and demons combined. ( tied with aziraphale i suppose:3 ) he knows that he loves aziraphale. he has for a very long time now. he knows aziraphale loves him back, at least he thought he did.

aziraphale touching his lips after in shame and doubt and confusion he doesn't know what to do. then he throws on a smile and , he goes back to heaven.

the fact that aziraphale said that he had nothing he needed to go to heaven with hurt. everything in that scene hurt but geez, he only wanted crowley, he only needs crowley, but he really fxcked that up huh. love you more than the stars aziraphale but GOSH DAMn you help one gay couple get together and then cant get with your demon boyfriend ??? ( once again they arent gay, i know - )

i bet crowley regrets letting him go on that walk, huh.

---

episode one talkies :D

also genuinely in love with the fact that crowley made the stars, with the tire iron thingy that he then uses to prepare himself to fight satan 6000 years later.

like what a guy.

also i love his hair he's a goof ball, honestly reminds me of david playing Phineas fog in around the world in 80 days, cause he's so excited by the new world and what it can do and what's out there to explore!! That's why hes so upset about the world ending at the start of it, he doesn't think the stars should go unappreciated, he doesn't think all the wonders of the sky should just be for staring at, he wants to watch it all happen.

and that also explains why crowley never asked aziraphale's name, because he already knew it :)

also aziraphale absolutely adoring crowley before there was anything means the world to me.

genuinely started crying when crowley protected aziraphale with his wing though.

--

zombie nxzi flesh eaters mini-sode talk:D

ok probably my favourite part of the season other than the ball.

the blitz had always been my favourite, and j really adored crowleys outfit, so gorgeous.

i loved that aziraphale trusted crowley completely in that moment

also was proud of myself immediately knowing that he switched the photo. ( i am small and was very satisfied )

also he 100% keeps that photo with him at all times. it's probably in his pocket.

i was honestly surprised that no sort of physical romantic thing happened that led to " you go to fast for me "

--

more of the last episode!!

i loved that maggie and nina didnt actually get together, it felt so much healthier for them to wait till they were ready. :)

also OFC LOVED GABRIEL AND BEELZEBUB!!! HONESTLY CANT BELIEVE THE FANDOM SAW THEM INTERACT ONCE AND SAID " THEYRE INLOVE " AND GOT IT SPOT ON!!

[quodekash]

good morning, friends! im exhausted and only got like four hours of sleep, but at least im (kind of) mentally prepared to revisit the episode, so (you probably know the drill by now), here’s all my commentary and thoughts and stuff from the episode! 

i feel like its important for everyone to know that i made myself an ice tea at 11:30pm because i knew i wouldnt be able to survive the episode alone 

(and dont suggest that the ice tea is the cause of the lack of sleep, if anything it’s the only reason i got to sleep) 

i was very nervous in the beginning cos i was pretty sure photjanee wouldnt be homophobic but also what if she is 

props to her for not asking tinn cos he was visibly nervous/afraid 

and gun told gim and she didnt even say anything at first. she just looked so freaking proud, then hugged him and said “whoever you love, i love” and i love her so much she’s a freaking perfect mother 

PHOTJANEE’S NEURODIVERGENT AND AWESOME HUSBAND who is still nameless IS SITTING NEXT TO HER SO HE’S GONNA SAY SOME HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE WORDS 

“were you afraid to hear the answer” im sensing a recurring themeeee (if youve forgotten and somehow havent rewatched the show over and over again, in episode 6 gun kept saying he was afraid to hear the answer of who tinn liked) 

“i think if he’s ready, he’ll tell you himself. give it time. time for tinn and yourself.” I LOVE THIS MAN 

also side note: she’s really pretty 

i smell a sponsorship 

a canon printer sponsorship 

theyre so subtle with their sponsorships 

“by the way, this printer is so convenient, it can be used with any operating system, right?” NICE ONE GEM, REAL SUBTLE, NO ONE WILL KNOW 

TIWPOR TINNGUN DOUBLE DATE STUDY DATE ONCE AGAIN 

AND SOUNDWIN BEHIND THEM (and also yo and pat i guess) 

tinngun are always reminiscent of patpran, but so much throughout this episode it literally felt like i was watching bad buddy 

GUN FINALLY KNOWS THAT TIW KNOWS AND GUN IS LIKE ‘wait did you tell him’ AND TIW JUST GOES 

“do you think this nerd would succeed in getting your love without my help”

AND HE’S SO ICONIC AND HE’S SO RIGHT AND I LOVE HIM SO MUCH OH MY GOSH 

also rip four and tinn’s homosecuality, they have to pretend to date for this music video 

also also WE GET TO SEE FOUR AND HER GIRLFRIEND AGAIN OMG I LOVE THEM 

THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY 

LOOK AT THEM AND THEIR IN-LOVE-NESS 

cant wait for the homophobia this episode /sarc

“we just have to wait until the dinosaurs are extinct and humans rule the world” TIW LITERALLY JUST SAID WE HAVE TO WAIT FOR ALL THE BOOMERS TO DIE OUT AND THEN GAYS CAN RULE THE WORLD THIS IS FREAKING HILARIOUS 

I CANT EXPLAIN IT, THEIR FACES ARE SO REMINISCENT OF PATPRAN AND MORE SO THAN USUAL 

does- does this count as a first kiss 

that was so sudden 

um

help??? 

theyre so cute tho i love them 

PROM DAY (looking back, how does so much happen in this one day) 

✨gotta love being outed✨

GUN JUST TOLD THE BROSKIS 

and por is, naturally, very excited 

but also somehow very oblivious 

i had a feeling yo knew already 

apparently sound told win ages ago (when? idk man) 

pat having a suspicion about it is actually very surprising 

“you and you, what’s going on? you’ve been weird” 

FINALLY THE SCENE OF THEM HOLDING HANDS AND SHOWING THE GUYS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS FOR WAY TOO FREAKING LONG 

AND THEY BOTH LOOK SO FREAKING HAPPY 

IM DYING 

i need to ingrain every soundwin scene from this episode into my brain cos there’s so much of it and i want to see it all forever please 

tis raining and theyre under an umbrella and soundwin did it first 

okay so. it sucks that they were outed. and people shouldnt take photos of other people and then post it on social media because they can, cos thats an invasion of privacy and is not cool. 

on the other hand, everyone seems thrilled by it and tinngun aren’t hurt by it happening so i guess its okay 

in general tho people should not do this cos it could go very badly 

but this is a bl drama not real life so its fine 

I SPY WITH MY LITTLE EYE A NEUROSPICY GUY 

they did the happy arms 

and theyre sitting cross-legged on top of a table 

i love you random side character 

PAT AND POR BEING ALL HAPPY AND EXCITED IS HILARIOUS I LOVE THEM 

“no one cares about people’s sexual orientation these days. its a new world. right, pumpkin??” GUI4HERIH4IIGU (note to past me: it gets worse. you’re gonna progressively die even more) 

EW PEOPLE ARE MESSAGING PHOTJANEE SAYING TINN’S GONNA RUIN THE SCHOOL’S REPUTATION AND STUFF 

...what series was it 

did- did you watch bad buddy, photjanee 

did tinn’s parents watch bad buddy 

ive decided they watched bad buddy until proven otherwise 

‘its down to us whether we’re as kind to our son as those in the series’ THIS MAN HAS THE WISEST KINDEST WORDS AND I WANT TO GIVE HIM A BIG HUG 

tiw and tinn are actually really sad about kajorn leaving the student council which is slightly confusing (not cos i hate him, im finding it increasingly difficult to hate him, i just didn’t think tiw and tinn actually liked kajorn) 

‘people are arguing whether it’s guntinn or tinngun’ 

... 

im gonna say it 

i have to say it 

you cant stop me from saying it 

soundwin did it first 

(technically it was satangwinny vs winnysatang but thats not the point) 

there i said it 

hah 

babes she’s known for months 

(but yes absolutely if you’re comfortable telling her and you think you should, go right ahead :] )

i hate this teacher 

i would like to punch him please 

luckily i know, thanks to the preview last episode, that he does, in fact, get punched, so it’s all good 

KAJORN IS IN THE ROOM WHILE GUN IS DISTRESSED 

I REPEAT, JORN IS THERE 

yay tinn is there with gun while he cries 

thank you tinn for existing 

NO 

GO AWAY TEACHER 

DON’T ENTER THE ROOM 

"im sorry, i was just joking around with my friend, i didnt mean to insult you" yeah, okay, well thats only part of the problem. other problems are: a. the fact that you had to say such a horrible thing in order to joke around with your friend. if that's the kind of humour your friend has, that person should not be your friend, unless it's also your humour, in whcih case, that isnt a sincere apology. b. it's not just that you insulted gun. you also insulted an entire community of people, of students, of human beings, who just want to exist and live as people doing what they want to do. you cant say something homophobic and then only apologise because it hurt one person close to you. you say something homophobic, and then you apologise - in a way that you GENUINELY MEAN - and say you had no intention of hurting so many people, including gun. or, alternatively, dont say the homophobic thing in the first place. c) you’re a freaking TEACHER. a TEACHER is there to SUPPORT and CARE for ALL of their students. a TEACHER should not be saying terrible things where ANYONE could overhear. if a TEACHER cannot be supportive for ALL STUDENTS, then they should not be a teacher. (im a huge defender of teachers cos theyre human beings with lives and families and hobbies and theyre more than just the adult human that tells you 2 plus 2 is 4. but i am also a huge defender of students cos theyre human beings and also children and theyre still developing. and i am especially a defender of students and an offender of teachers when the teacher clearly hates children or isnt a good teacher or should not at all be a teacher. so this isnt me hating all teachers, i love teachers, i could talk about how unappreciated they are for hours. but i cannot stand it when a teacher behaves the way this teacher did. i hate it so freaking much.) 

THE TEACHER WAS “SHOCKED” COS GUN IS A “ROCKSTAR” SO THE TEACHER “THOUGHT YOU WERE MANLY” 

THATS NOT AN EXPLANATION NOR IS THAT AN APOLOGY 

GENDER AND SEXUAL IDENTITY ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

AND EVEN THEN, GENDER AND GENDER EXPRESSION ARE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT FREAKING THINGS 

LIKING MEN DOESNT MAKE SOMEONE ANY LESS ‘MANLY’ SO STFU AND GET FIRED ALREADY 

FREAKING YES 

GOOD

HELL YES 

KAJORN PUNCHED THE TEACHER BEFORE TINN COULD 

THIS IS EVERYTHING I COULDVE ASKED FOR OR NEEDED 

I LOVE IT SO MUCH 

I LOVE KAJORN SO MUCH 

IM FINALLY ALLOWED TO NOT HATE HIM AND IM VERY GLAD ABOUT IT 

DAMN SOUND 

I MEAN I AGREE BUT WOW I WASNT EXPECTING THAT 

‘i HoPe YoU giVe A fAiR jUdGeMeNt oN tHiS cAsE’ bro its not court 

and absolutely she’ll give fair judgement 

shes freaking awesome and i love her 

also what does probation mean 

“don’t use violence to solve problems. do you understand?” okay, yes, im 100% on board with you, i completely agree, but, hear me out here: homophobia. 

I LOVE PHOTJANEE SO MUCH 

COLD AS ICE SHE GOES “if you’re not satisfied with my judgement, write a complaint. but dont forget to add every detail truthfully” 

SHE’S SO ICONIC 

TRULY A SLAY 

“LET GO OF MY SON. as principal, all i can do is submit a report regarding your behavior to those in authority. but as a mom, MY SON CAN LIKE WHOEVER HE LIKES. STAY OUT OF IT. if i hear anything filthy from you again, your penalty will go far beyond this” I FELT HER ANGER 

I LOVE HER WITH ALL MY SOUL 

SHES FREAKING AWESOME 

and kajorn looks so happy and content 

i love him 

PROM TIME AND THE STIMS ARE STIMMING REAL HARD RN 

WHY AM I CRYING WHILE LISTENING TO YOU’VE GOT MA BACK? THIS ISN’T A SAD SONG 

C O M E   C L O S E R 

I LOVE YOU SO MUCH POR 

OOOOO NEW SONG 

SOUNDWIN CHEEK KISS 

IM LITERALLY CRYING THEYRE SO CUTE 

(note to past me: it’s gonna get worse) 

aww gun’s in the audience singing directly to tinn this is so cute 

GRBRHKBGRIUBJROBUR

I WOULDVE BEEN CONTENT WITH JUST SOUND KISSING WIN BUT IM NOT COMPLAINING 

I AM THE OPPOSITE OF COMPLAINING 

GIREBVIRUB

TINN AND GUN ARE GOING ON THE STAGE TOGETHER HAND IN HAND 

HOW IS THIS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

AND SOUND’S GOT A GUITAR SOLO COS HE’S AWESOME LIKE THAT 

HAPPINESS 

BIG HAPPIES 

MUCH OF THE VERY HAPPINESS 

their hugs always look so comfy 

someone in the audience asked if theyre real and gun said nothing but hashtag #MySchoolPresident and it’s still so funny to me 

its like theyre telling us the watchers 

like USE TEH HASHTAG, PLEASE 

and we’re like WEVE ALREADY BEEN DOING THAT, CALM DOWN 

ew old teachers 

shut up with your judgy faces 

no one cares 

YAY FOR YOUNG PROGRESSIVE TEACHERS WHO DONT CARE WHAT THE BOOMERS THINK 

cos, as tiw said, the boomers will die out soon and then gays can rule the world 

can the episode just end here 

i dont want to go through the emotional turmoil of whats coming 

cos i know its coming 

there’s gonna be a graduation scene 

and im very scared 

my mentally ill butt can never be okay for graduation scenes 

and yet my mentally ill butt keeps consuming media set in the senior year of high school 

DAMN THIS ENDING IS GONNA BE LONG 

31:48 MINUTES 

STRAP IN YOUR SEATBELTS COS WE’RE GONNA BE IN FOR ONE EMOTIONAL ROLLERCOASTER 

NO 

WAIT NO LET THERE BE MORE 

JUST ONE MORE 

OR TWO 

OR AN ENDLESS AMOUNT 

DON’T LET IT BE OVER 

PLEASE 

“its the last day of our high school lives.” ACK SHOOT FREAK FRENCH GUSTAV AND SHOELACES AND TURTLES AND FREAKING SHOOT NOODLES WHAT THE FLIP 

AH SHOOT I FORGOT ABOUT KAJORN BEING A YEAR YOUNGER THAN THEM 

HE HAS TO CARRY ON THEIR LEGACY WITHOUT THEM 

HES FREAKING ALONE 

IDEK IF HE HAS ANY FRIENDS 

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

ooo we’re gonna get another pool scene soon 

NO STOP IT WITH THE SIGNED SHIRTS I CANT TAKE IT 

‘no one ever asks if i can sign their shirts :[’ ‘sign my shirt’ 

‘ILL WRITE DOWN WHAT I FEEL THAT IM TOO AFRAID TO SAY’ I FREAKING LOVE THEM 

WAIT 

SHOOT

I KNOW I ASKED FOR IT BUT I DIDNT EXPECT THEM TO ACTUALLY DO IT 

IM IN SHOCK 

LITERALLY CRYING 

WHAT THE FLIP 

HOLY FREAK 

NO WAY 

THIS IS THE END 

THAT’S IT

IM DEAD

GONE

DECEASED

THEY FREAKING KISSED 

RIGHT THEN AND THERE 

PROPERLY KISSING 

BEFORE TINNGUN 

WHAT 

IS THIS ACTUALLY HAPPENING 

OW I PINCHED MYSELF 

I LITERALLY CANT BELIEVE IT 

“i wont let you kiss first you barstool” HOW ARE THEY SO- GJRBGIKRB

BUT ONCE ISNT ENOUGH 

OH NO, THEY HAVE TO KISS AGAIN 

JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

THEY ALREADY STABBED ME A COUPLE TIMES 

THEN THEY KISSED AND THEY SLICED ME IN HALF WITH A REALLY COOL SWORD 

AND NOW THEYRE SLICING MY HEAD OFF JUST TO MAKE SURE IM DEAD 

‘STOP TRYING TO LOOK HANDSOME IDIOT BECAUSE ITS MAKING MY HEART SO WEAK’ I CANT WITH THESE TWO 

I LITERALLY CANT EVEN PROCESS THAT THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED 

SURELY IM DREAMING RIGHT NOW

THERES NO WAY THEY ACTUALLY FREAKING KISSED 

AND TIWPOR RIGHT AFTER??? IT’S TOO MUCH POWER 

AWWWWWW NOOK AND YOOOO

BUT POOR PAT IS COMPLETELY LONELY 

PLS LET PAT NOT BE LONELY FOREVER 

THEY BETTER GIVE PAT SOME HAPPINESS 

NO?? THEYRE JUST GONNA CHANGE THE SCENE LIKE THAT??? OKAY THEN???????? 

no but why wasnt tiwporpat an option 

they couldve gone down the polyamory route 

as much as i love poking fun at pat being lonely, i want him to be happy, and tiwporpat makes sense 

(i must also say that patjorn also makes sense and i wouldnt have been mad if they went down the tiwporpat route or the patjorn route. theyre both amazing. but no, they went with pat is lonely forever and its really freaking sad. thanks guys.) 

OH TINNGUN POOL SCENE 

POOL SCENE NUMBER... IDEK AT THIS POINT 

they should kiss btw 

GUN WROTE #MYSCHOOLPRESIDENT ON TINN’S SHIRT AND TINN WROTE ‘APPROVED BY THE SCHOOL PRESIDENT’ ON GUN’S SHIRT AND ITS SO FREAKING PERFECT 

IT COMES FULL CIRCLE SO BEAUTIFULLY 

THEY LITERALLY COULDNT HAVE WRITTEN ANYTHING GREATER 

I FREAKING LOVE THIS SHOW 

tinngun still have not kissed 

NO PLS I CANT TAKE IT WITH THE HEARTFELT SPEECHES 

HOW DO YOU CRY SILENTLY 

NO THEYRE PLAYING ONE LAST SONG TOGETHER 

STUFF YOU 

I LITERALLY DONT KNOW IF IVE EVER CRIED HARDER THAN I DID WHILE WATCHING THAT FREAKING FINAL SONG 

tinn’s father is so neurodivergent i love him 

OMG GUN IS ACTUALLY SITTING AT THEIR TABLE AND HAVING A MEAL WITH THEM 

IT’S NOT IMAGINARY GUN 

IT’S REAL GUN 

THIS IS CRAZY 

PFFFFFFT TINN’S DAD HELPED HIM WRITE THE SONG FOR GUN 

THAT’S FREAKING HILARIOUS 

OH MY GOSH THEYRE ABOUT TO KISS- 

darn you gun and your bloody hand in the way 

too many times 

this has happened far too many times 

just kiss 

please

YES 

GOOD 

EXCELLENT 

but also soundwin did it first 

ANYWAY THAT WAS PERFECT 

OH MY GOSH 

IM NOT OKAY 

(the funniest thing about me constantly saying ‘im dying’ or ‘im dead’ is that my fitbit hasnt been able to pick up on my heartrate for literally hours. like, since i started watching the episode. it just stopped working. and if your heart isnt beating, you’re quite literally dead.) 

final thoughts / main takeaways from that episode (and therefore the whole show) 

tinngun are very cute 

tinngun are patpran variants (we already knew this but still) 

tiwpor havent been dating the whole time but there was definite crushing for a very long time 

pat is sad and lonely and pls let there be tiwporpat or patjorn at some point in the future 

we need a sequel please and thank you 

soundwin are freaking perfect 

this show is perfection 

im mentally ill 

that teacher sucks 

tinn’s dad is neurodivergent and i love him 

photjanee is amazing and awesome and i love her 

gim is the greatest mother and i love her 

i love all of these characters way too much  and, last but not least, 

soundwin did it first. 

[honeycreammilkshake]

I feel like an ass for saying this, but outside of Sukuna and Yuuji i dont really think the other characters are interesting. Yeah MAYBE Geto but thats also just the most indeoth character gege has wrote. Otherwise everyone single other character is just overtly simple or a jackass.

I mean shit, the world building is so lackluster. Theres a lot that looks like it was written on the fly and no real thought put into it sometimes. Hell theres timess where plot devices feel like they got put on a backburner and forgotten. Shit some deaths felt unessacary (gestures to the fhcking female cats)

And noboara? Dont get me started her staying dead would have been amazing to help yuuji grow!

Nope, shes back. Its the fucking fairy tail death situation all over again.

Also, in the new chapter im NOT happy with how gege handled Yuuta. So anticlimactic...

Im just.... im really upset over this because you can tell a lot of this was halfassed and forced.

Also fuck RCT. Brings back people feom the dead but you cant bring baxk anyone else? What the fuck is going on. Im not excited for the mangas ending at all...

i feel you, anon. sorry for the late reply btw.

don't feel bad about sharing your opinions. i agree with you on them. i feel like a LOT of the characters are either underdeveloped or simply not as interesting as they could have been. i feel bad because i think gege is experiencing a lot of pressure since this is their first official and long-running series and it became really popular. i think they might not have as much experience as some other mangaka or maybe just they rush or don't fully plan things out? i'm just speculating so i hope i don't seem cruel-hearted in saying as much.

and i agree a lot of the plot seems too sudden and not fully fleshed out. i often cannot even keep track of the technical stuff and details bc new stuff is always being added and i think i've even found some contradictions and unexplained stuff that doesn't really make sense.

overall, jjk isn't as well-written as it maybe could have been, and i'm saying this objectively. i think gege loses sight of the story a lot of the time and sometimes pulls plot developments that don't make much sense as a way to speed things up.

nobara coming back could have been handled much differently for example. as much as i do agree that her death could have served yuuji's arc well, i think she deserved better than being killed off so suddenly. she shouldn't have been killed off at all. or if she was brought back sooner it wouldn't feel so fairy tale unrealistic.

and i also find yuta a bad replacement for yuuji and just kind of boring honestly. he's like gojo 2.0 in terms of character-building only gege adores him this time.

i'm also not understand the full extent of rct. maybe i'm missing something?

idk anon. you're right on a lot of this. thankfully the manga will be ending soon, and there's a chance that someone other than gege will be continuing it, so maybe better developments and more closure will be giving to us?

idk, no disrespect to gege but im honestly not sure what kind of story im reading any more.

[scarletanpan]

.

Tw for transphobia ig? Not super serious I just cant focus til i scream abt this so sorry

Tumblrs tryna get me in something I keep seeing out of context discourse abt transandrophobia , tried to avoid it bc it was hitting a sore spot but finally looked and. Don't get why ppl arguing it shouldnt be a term for transmascs/trans men bc they only experience transphobia while being benefited by the patriarchy. Like u are still. Trans? Rlly its a weird cocktail of transphobia, misogyny, and misandry where ppl dont see u as a man if they know ur female, but get uncomfortable abt u presenting as masc, like ur ruining urself and hrt turns u into some evil scary creature bc men are bad apparently and bioessentialism is a curse upon this world that needs to be eradicated like.

The timing of this got to me bc the one person I came out to fully was a guy(who had a crush on me the whole time unfortunately) that immediately responded by letting me know he was into femboys. Then clarified he also liked masc women, and every time we talked from then on he brought up guy stuff but would stop and go 'yeah idk if i should say it.. ur like a girl u know, right?' Exact phrasing no matter how many times I said haha ig but 80% of the time i feel like a guy, but I couldnt be anything other than a girl to him unless I was a femboy. He confessed that multiple times like it was some suggestion..? Great way to get ur gender fucked up like back tf up damn cognitively I am Not there yet i was just excited abt sharing my identity w someone.. I dont have an issue w them they're cute I just felt wildly dysphoric abt it. Which is why I'm complaining ig my bad its wild but minimal in comparison to stuff I read the Actual point is.

This seems to just be a handful of ppl holding these opinions and they get spread around, and they have issues w afab nb ppl like?? The complaints I've seen seem to be targeting some idea of afab nb ppl being able to use their status as a privilege which. Idk what imaginary yt skinny middle class easily able to pass being they think comprises all afab nbs and transmascs? Like have yall never heard of intersectionality a little?? Even within that group there is so much variation yall are gonna lose it when u realize race, physical appearance, money, social status and abt a million other factors impact most ppls ability to be trans while receiving any respect or affirmation like

Show me where most ppl dont look at afab nb ppl and treat them like a girl or ignore any of ur pronouns besides she/her like. It's just dumb to deny ppl the right to talk abt how they experience transphobia bc u assume every nb person can pass or wants to idk?? As an nb I don't ever rlly expect to reach passing one way or the other but we live in a society so ppl will not respect that and thats the real issue! So weird like we need to be focusing on the transphobes that don't want any of us to have the right to transition or express ourselves. Which is what I plan to do now I've said my piece but idk afab nb ppl get behind me I'll fight to the death like. I'll fight to the death for all of us we all experience oppression in one way or the other and attacking certain communities over preconceptions doesn't help imo

And last note I don't wanna seem like idk how pressing of an issue transmisogny is ik how heavily targeted trans women are on a public scale comparatively there's always something to be said abt that. And a lil nervous abt using afab I don't wanna be exclusionary but couldn't find anyone using another term for nb ppl like me I'm tryna educate myself on intersex liberation on the side.. just don't think we need to infight we should listen to each other

[semiotomatics]

putting my "personal spewage" tag to good use

so this week has been. good. like really good. ive been sleeping so much better (like, ive been able to fall asleep in under 30 minutes for the last 3 nights!! and have stayed asleep for 10 solid hours every night!! thats unprecedented!!!) and feeling less stressed (still stressed, but less stressed) and have had more energy (tho that could just be the coffee ive been drinking lol) and just generally feeling good. like, i had an idk ~a ha moment the other day where i realized theres a difference between my mood and my function. bc, altho historically both my mood and my function have been low, lately only my function has been low. and it still is, im still struggling to do even basic self-care/body maintenance/just general life tasks, but ive been getting better at it (ive eaten at least one full meal a day! i brushed my teeth for no other reason than because i knew i needed to!) and not wanting to die has really helped with that. it still feels way too early to declare a victory and i have major stressors on the horizon that im waiting to see how they will affect me, cause im kind of in a stressor lull right now (money's okay, family's okay, work's okay, etc) which i keep thinking is why im feeling relatively okay, but still. i feel okay. thats amazing. tho its also kinda terrifying and i keep thinking "oh god i feel okay does that mean i have to go back to work what if i freak out again what if i cant handle it" etc etc but like. i keep reminding myself i dont have to go back to work until im legitimately ready to go back, no ones going to force me to go back when im not ready to, and im hoping to go back part-time anyway so that its easier on me, which will help, so. yeah. hopefully it'll be okay.

but anyway, im just so excited at some of the thoughts and feelings ive had recently. mental illness is so good at making you forget what it feels like to be happy and healthy and alive and in love with the world. i had been stuck in that dark cloud for so long, and i still don't feel like the skies are totally clear, but im seeing hints of blue through the grey and its amazing. i want to love being alive. i want to look forward to my future. i want to be happy. i really really hope this lasts and i get to just be happy.

[itsdappleagain]

HELLO AND WHAT IS UP GUYS TODAY WE'RE DOING ANOTHER CS WEEKLY POST A DAY LATE

okay enough youtuber intro. gross

ITS TIME FOR THE FISHY DOUBLOON CAPER!! Not my favorite, admittedly, but some great moments in there for sure (see: carmen gets put in a fairly desperate situation for the first time in the series as carmen. nice.)

OKAY HERE WE GO notes under the cut because they're LONG

how cool would the intro have been if carmen's passport had gained a new stamp every episode for the place she went!!!

oh i totally forgot the acme b plot in this episode thats pretty good

s1 chase: not one single red thread to pull s2 chase, buying french michaels out of red string: is that a challenge

it was stuffed in her black sack

i love the mints. they had to set them up so bad so julia could follow them

fuck you chase. maybe if you ate less mints you could be nicer

IN LOVE WITH HOW JULIA GETS FED UP. YES GIRL. FUCK HIM AND HIS FUEL HE DESERVES IT

DAMN ZARI HIT HIM FROM REAL FAR AWAY THAT WEAPON IS NEVER THAT LONG RANGE AGAIN

julia he doesnt deserve you

they sneak "where in the world" into every line they can

have i mentioned the way cs draws water because its all so prettyyy

OH, WET pls

no, player we have to wait two more seasons for argentina ok

"not without any real clues" girl idk where you think clues come from but your birthplace could be a fantastic place to start looking

the equator joke was funny

bananafish? as in the anime? (doesn't know what im talking about at all)

quito!! fun fact: the first highest capital is Bolivia's, La Paz!

NOSE IS BLEEDING? BLOOD? In a KIDS SHOW?

omg they foreshadowed the fucking tuna it nearly smacked carmen..

"surface crew is on high alert!" (pan to zack, barfing)

i love that zack's weakness is the ocean. he grew up in boston. literally being in the home of the fish makes him barf

i love how ivy is not helping at all she's so funny

zack barfs way too many times in this show sorry. they crossed the line when someone shoved her fingers in his barf and squelched em around. no. no thanks. stop making him barf

i have to think this episode was one of the earlier ones abby trott recorded for because she is so violently boston at every turn its hilarious

where the fuck is carmen's air tank. that thing on her back is her water jetpack. where is she breathing from. her tubing is connected to something that is. not big enough to supply her with oxygen for that long

woww the framing of that shot where carmen swims towards the ship...she sounds like she supposed to be very excited about it which i love for her

every single time im like surely she cant fit through that hole and then she does. the reason this is possible is because despite having hips CARMEN HAS NO ASS

i also like the little lookaround she does like idk

GOD the ship is so pretty i love how everyone immediately destroys everything inside of it

carmen "im swimming through the past" sandiego, destroying everything in the fucking ship that she touches

why the fuck is there just a crowbar down there

SHES JUST TOSSING SHIT OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO ALL HISTORY IS TREASURE CARMEN YOU FUCKIN HYPOCRITE

love that player picks up the HGRHGDHSRHRGFGRGRGRGRGRGGWGEGEGERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR of el topo before carmen does

the fact that carmen is not terrified upon hearing, deep underwater, a roaring, grumbling noise coming from nowhere is a testament to how stup

WHEN

SHE JUST GOES FLYING ITS SO FUNNY TO ME AJFGS

see el topo has o2 tanks what the fuck is up with carmen breathing underwater. she has to always be streamlined ig

no way can they fucking hear each other no way nuh uh

HE JUST RAMS INTO HER THATS SO FUNNY

i like how player waits until a very nice time to ask carmen what the fuck just burst out of the floor. little break in the action <3

hi. the way carmen says el topo. thank you (applause)

love how player doesnt warn zack and ivy. theyll be fine he said

obsessed with how le chevre's legs bend like the dancing stick bug meme

OH MY GOD THE PURE GAY ENERGY BLAST OF LE CHEVRE LANDING KILLED THEM

sorry side note ivy is so cute

le chevre is. yeah

I LOVE HOW CARMEN JUST S N A T C H E S HIS ANKLE YOU CAN SEE HER THOUGHT PROCESS ZERO IN ON HIS FOOT

the way carmen moves in the water is sooo satisying shes like a wikki stix she just bends

also love how carmen just bounces off of el topo

i also also love how her flippers just gently wave in the breeze

they just fling each other its so fucking funny. she steps on him. he flings her. she full body crashes into him

like how they just keep an arm around each other for a bit. chilling. buddies

do you think it hurts el topo how much venom is in carmen's voice when she sees him now?

anyways

the fish. wow that really did just happen

she just kicks his ass what did he do to her

ALSO this is one of very few fights where carmen is very actively in hand-to-hand!! she usually tries to avoid it i think...more evasive maneuvers/defense but shes BARELLING into el topo shes just doing everything she fucking can to fling him far distances

bubble transitions <3 its like bubble guppies fr

eternally beyond grateful that they dropped ivys weird. woke feminist how do you do fellow women thing ok sorry the fisherwoman thing was. out of place. le chevre is right there and youre worried about fisherwoman

le chevre, the frenchest fucker alive: you dont sound like youre from around here

the absolute terror on ivy's face is sending me. someone else (jackie?? was that you??) pointed out that she reacts like this because they met le chevre in boston harbor but he happens to not recognize them.....super cool i love that s1 and 2 were written together

not a single braincell in le chevres head

she was really about to try to wrestle and do the heimlech maneuver on an 97 pound fish girl no

she sounds so black sheep when she says "come on seriously" 🥺

NO im calling bullshit no way was carmen able to snatch that pipe in the two seconds el topo bodychecked her carmens got fucking superpowers she does not have pickpocketing abilities she has superpowers

we love the attempted murder <3 thats. so dangerous to do but carmen just is like teehee oxygen is gone!!! hope u dont drown or panic or get decompression illness teehee

the most gigantic tracker in the history of mankind

i like how carmen holds that gun whjhehgshsa if she werent underwater she'd be blowing the smoke off it

they didnt even try to come up with a convincing alias they just went with another california city wheeze

wait how is player connected to that walkie talkie. im pretty sure correct me if im wrong but i think that walkie talkies in ecuador dont connect to ones in ontario

theyre such siblings

gay saves the day once more

AGAIN WITH SHOVING THEM IN THE WATER or wait is this the first time?? TREND SETTING?? i feel like they did it once before this but ig not???

lets motor is the same thing as lets jet

HOLY SHIT THEY WERE SO FAR FROM SHORE

THE BUBBLE TRANSITIONS THIS EP SO TRUE

yes carmen speaking other languages i am of the opinion that she should have spoken so many all the time

she cute

i love how loud carmen is talking "SO ITS AN ECUADORIAN DOUBLOON" also hi dr marquez

I AM LITERALLY SUCH A CHILD THIS SHOULD NOT BE FUNNY TO ME "dick?" "dick." (innocent deer-like blinking) gay-bisexual solidarity

marquez: yeah im leading an excavation tea- carmen: i robbed that fucking boat

the deer in headlights look they give is so funny not one braincell avaliable

the way her accusing them drives them all into terrified scrambling

i also like how marquez just accepts the fact that they robbed the boat because they say theyre coin hobbyists (i mean. she doesnt. she follows them. but still)

i love dr marquez shes so cool. i like her voice also

you know carmen's about to do some craaazy shit when an archaeologist starts talking about history and they zoom in on her eyes going all different directions

zack and ivy being so insensitive is so fucking funny. kids do you know who your boss is

the sibling-like manner in which ivy shoves zack in the face to get out of the boat faster than he does is the funniest thing in the world

GASP! vile has a darker, sexier, even more obnoxious tracker!

lots a shit beeping in this establishment today

chase is such a dumbshit i love him as soon as zari reaches into her jacket he disintegrates. and then he saves it. such grace and talent

chase is just constantly ???????????????????????????

CHIEF! hi chief

what were the handcuffs even for

chase gets kidnapped and hes just like can i go back to work please

VILE DRAMATIC MUSIC DRAMATIC CLOSEUP

damn le chevre just pulled that slick wet thing out hot damn it was still dripping....what? the tracker. the tracker was wet. what did you think i was talking about?

"if carmen sandiego is after this doubloon" YOU GUYS WERE AFTER THE DOUBLOON WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

no. maelstrom never call yourself papa again

el topo just hanging over his shoulder <3

el topo is so cute

I CAN CHASE AWAY THE GOPHERS he so sweet

tfw your boyfriend is kissing ur boss's ass

mael just sitting there listening to them like 👁️👁️

mael is not even evil hes just stupid and petty hes so funny

WOO HOO ALTITTY SICKNESS LETS GOOO KNOCK THAT BITCH OUT

leonardo di caprio stars in the mole of wall street

who in vile was contaminating cheese OH MY GOD WONDER RAT???

i like how chief is just flat out like. yeahh we dont actually. know if they exist or not but we think so we really do

the scrambled brains joke was so funny chief has actually a lot of personality. i would like her if she were real yknow

the way chief snaps back to being formal when chase clears his throat its ok girl hes not important or competent

HAHA there are a lot of tiny callbacks to where in the world sprinkled throughout here that i never really noticed. gee carmen being the leader of vile sure is far fetched. that would never happen

this video is sponsored by crimeNET technology

acme's introduction is actually pretty cool. a third party that could either help or hurt carmen but seem to want her captured either way

love that background dad who shoves a fish into his kid's face

zack's joints cracked more than jo's wtf

the way she goes "fish maharh-" and then passes out gets me every time its so comedic. she doesnt like. step out of the car and in the background, as zack and ivy are chatting, slowly look ill and then pass out, crashing to the floor. zack and ivy run over, terrified. NO she walks out and goes FISH MAHAHRaha.... and then puts her hand on her forehead and faints like a victorian woman and then moans on the floor for thirty seconds

she totally got a concussion from that right

THE PROGRESSION OF CHASE'S VOICEMAIL THIS SEASON FROM THE BIT ABOUT THE LOVESEAT AND ANOTHER THING LATER IS SUCH A GOOD LITTLE DETAIL

hi the way her voice reverberates just slightly in the empty garage. good sound design

omg carmen CAN sweat look jackie

ALSO look at my comic about this because just do

the whiplash of seeing coach brunt and then immediately hearing her speak in a gentle ecuadorian accent

the way raf enunciates words should be studied

chief forcibly transferring him is so funny. no. you have no free will you will be acme right now

mmm she calls out for them immediately <333 they are family. also thee panic at waking up somewhere unfamiliar and alone....what if she thought vile had her again. does she call for them when she wakes up from nightmares. i need to know

HI THIS IS MY FAVORITE FACE CARMEN EVER MAKES

carmens bag ROCKET LAUNCHED those tools across the room DAMN

see i feel like that throwing star had to be 3d it looked 3d?? also why does carmen have throwing stars. also dr marquez is literally the most trusting person on the planet

zack: dont be embarrassed! its ok :) carmen: literally couldnt be more emotionless. literally could not care less about the attention zack is trying to give her. did you find the fucking coin

carmen waiting until they had already wheeled it through the doors to mention it was being wheeled away for comedic effect is such a mood

zack reacting like ivy even though he was literally watching with carmen as the fish got wheeled away

carmen: le chevre. ivy, voice blasting through the halls: AGAIN??

yeah he would id you but he literally tried to skewer these two on a fishhook three hours ago

her face when she says bid to win is so cute

who gave zack the paddle.

150,000 DOLLARS!

ivys look of terror when he says that is so funny

AND CARMEN FACEPALMING

this poor fish market got scammed out of a whole 200 buck fish i hope carmen gave them some money

whats with the flaps in the floor

she WHIPS that poor eel. flytrap could never

LEAVE HIM ALONE

we love carmen pulling out the gun knowing full well the speech wont work

that poor fucking tunafish man

le chevre gets cornobbled

something something el topo on his way to slap some goat cheek something

love how top and bottom dont question why carmen has suddenly given up

i also love el topo taking no credit for slapping him with a fish hes luck uhhh yeah bro its the altitude

the lil whoosh as carmen catches the coin

JULIAS GASP AT THE MINTS

shes like ohhh my god he went into the electrical closet. ohhh fuck

wait a minute if the tube fell out first...how is there still a trail leading from that point. they didnt fall out of the tube so did he just have loose mints in his pocket. or

chief: we are so secretive julia argent: mints

THE ALARM ON ZARI AND JAWLINE'S FACES WHEN JULIA POPS IN IS SO FUNNY THE DISMAY

julia is so starved for compliments that she immediately smiles when the random blue projection who kidnapped chase in a dark closet tells her she's sharp

marquez: someday the world will know your name carmen sandiego marquez, a year later, watching tv: UM I DIDNT MEAN BY STEALING THE CROWN JEWELS HELLO

carmen's 👁️👄👁️ when marquez mentions that shes argentinian is so funny one time as a kid i was talking in my sleep and my mom mentioned the dream that i had been having when i woke up and it scared the shit out of me it was that exact expression

damn... damn these spot the difference games are getting hard

carmen e4: we went our separate ways carmen e9: HOOLY SHIT SHES TRYING TO FUCKING KILL ME

I THOUGHT PLAYER SAID "I HAVE FREAKING NEWS RED"

AW YEAH TRANSITION SENTENCE

GOD SAY GOODBYE OR SOMETHING SHE JUST PUTS THE HOOD UP AND LEAVES

CARMEN "BAD AT SOCIAL INTERACTION" SANDIEGO

like the boat looks 3d too methinks

next episode: team red is permanently blinded as zack drives directly into the sun

okay!! pretty solid episode. one of the classics. not my favorite though it feels a bit like they needed a caper to go with the acme plot and they just threw darts at a map

[melancholiaenthroned]

BERNARD for the ask game >:)

HELPPP ok

first impression: ok i got into comics right around the time tim came out so my first impression was very much the general publics of "robin has a boyfriend!" i read the urban legends story about that first and thought it was fine! i liked it well enough. then bc it mentioned that bernard was a friend was high school i went back and read his original appearences and idk i just loved him... he was silly and he was posturing and nobody really liked him except tim LOL. his friendship and crush on darla was also rlly rlly sweet and i got rlly attached to the trio of them. i also rlly liked his og design w the longer hair and sunglasses. i thought the conspiracy theorist thing was rlly fun esp w how close hed get to the truth and tim would have to be like "what ur so crazy hahaha where would batman get MULTIPLE robins".

impression now: im gonna be honest my peak bernard phase was before tim drake robin started when i was really really excited to see more of this character id gotten attached to... erm. in a post tdr world ive kind of distanced myself from him bc he feels like an entirely different guy. which is fine! presumably hes aged and i wouldnt want to live like my high school self forever. that being said, the ways that he is the same feel a bit like a parody now. his conspiracies r way more outlandish and supernaturally based than they used to be, and they way theyve kind of written it so seems like he knew he was gay/bi back in highschool which doesnt rlly read as true to me having read those highschool appearances. hes just tims boyfriend, who knew he was gay before tim did and was just kind of waiting for him, i guess. i do like the chaos cult, i like that in the unspecified time away from tim his life was like. completely fucked. but now that tim is there it feels like hes just been flattened back out. the last few issues of tdr actually started focusing more on his issues specifically w his parents and the cult but. you know. cancelled.

favorite moment: he was so so scared to talk to darla he was like "losers like us cant talk to cool girls like her tim... shes friends with jocks" and then tim goes up to her and the jocks are all nice and polite normal guys and darlas like yeah u guys seem fun. and its just like. he was completely overreacting. like so much for his claims of being a social chameleon 😭 and then next issue darlas just a part of their group and theyre acting like theyve been best friends forever. i think for as much as he pretends to be like. a cool guy who doesnt care that he has no friends. its a rlly nice moment of showing that hes actually really anxious and self conscious and he wishes he could reach out to people but once he has the opportunity he latches on to ppl and doesnt let go. and i also rlly like when darla comes back and he finds out she has powers and his first reaction is like. my life sucks so bad can i come and be ur sidekick. like man:-( he was funny for it though! shoot ur shot

idea for a story: ok this is for a hypothetical "possible in comics" story and not like. a fic. so its not super bernard focused BUT they need to bring darla back now im not joking anymore where is she. idk what the status of shadowpact is post rebirth i dont think it exists anymore? but whatever. tim gets a case that leads him back to louis grieve where we can get a recap for ppl who didnt read or dont remember what happened back then. he can be like heres where i met bernard^_^ also the horrors. anyway the case has smth to do w the mob&darlas family and so he manages to get in contact w her and obviously shes like. i have no connection to that life anymore im not helping and i dont want to remember this. but reluctant team up👍 anyway bernard plays into this bc i think tim keeps it from him whats going on in the case bc he doesnt know that bernard was actually the first to know when darla came back and he doesnt want to upset him by bringing up old memories bc they Never talk about the shooting. and laura obviously isnt telling bernard bc she has no idea he and tim r dating so hes kept completely out of the loop and tim and darla/laura r NOT getting along. he keeps calling her darla and hes whinier than she remembers and theyre getting nowhere in the case bc they dont work very well together. i would also rlly want an issue where it goes over how each of them experienced the day of the shooting and there r small differences in each one to highlight how time has warped their memories and how theyre all a little unreliable. and each of them would be done by different artists 👍 anyway eventually bernard stumbles upon the case and hes pissed off at tim for keeping from him "darla was my friend too" you know. and smth he remembers about that day but the others dont (too caught up in the gang war/being robin) helps solve the case^_^ and hes able to help tim and laura get along again and they part on good terms w bernard and laura staying in touch. and at some point while he and tim r fighting he confronts tim for fucking off after the shooting and not reaching out to bernard until years later, and how bernard was completely left alone after one his best friends died and the other immediately moved away.

unpopular opinion: whyyyy does he want to be a chef its stupid sorry. emt or nurse bernard is the most important thing in the world to me i have no idea why they chose "chef" for his career path but it annoys me to no end. its another thing that just feels flat about his new character. like even if instead of being motivated by his history with unable to save darla from the shooting+the cult he was scared of wounds and violence and avoided it... why chef? idk itd be fun if he wanted to be like a radio host or smth that actually fit his personality. i think money should also be a bigger motivater for him bc he always read as like. upper middle class new money to me whos parents cut him off when he came out. like maybe if they showed him working as a line cook or an actual job i could understand him growing a passion for it but hes just like. a rich foodie. like what.

favorite relationship: he and tim i guess LOL who else does he have. him and darla for friendship and also i think it wouldve been cute if they had dated for a bit in highschool<3

favorite headcanon: i think he should be angrier at tim. for missing dates, for not telling him hes robin, for everything. hes too nice. or if theyre set on the nice thing i think it should be framed as him being a bit of a people pleaser/pushover post cult bc hes scared of tim leaving him and either way tim should have to address being kind of a shitty boyfriend. a nicer one is i think duke would be his favorite of tims siblings:-) hes not weird to bernard like i think the others would kind of be (shovel talk from dick would make me kms) and bernard never had any siblings so he kind of treats duke like a younger brother and tries to like, help duke with his homework, despite the fact that duke is definitely doing better in school than bernard did. i dont know if duke like. likes bernard but hell actually respond to his attempts at bonding unlike damian who has him blocked.

[sannylity]

with all the information we now have about the Artistic Director x Prostitute AU, what do you imagine that the finished product/show would wind up being?? i have no fucking idea what it would be. thinking about it being a romantic tragedy (like romeo and juliet) with a happy ending (unlike romeo and juliet)

also mariana being good with kids is just so fucking sweet!! i was imagining charlie being like "hey i need to go pick someone up, but they'll have to stick around until rehearsal ends, is that fine?" and marianas like "yeah okay." and it was half an excuse to get away from the director and half because he actually needed to pick up juanaflippa from afterschool care. he could only pay for so much time that people could watch her after school.

so she got buckled up and he was like "ok flippa, we need to head back to where papa's working for now, because its vital- that means important- that im there, and uncle wilbur will be busy with the band today, so he cant watch you, okay?" she just nods excitedly and uses sign language to say 'where are we going?' he smiles and starts the car back up. 'the theater.'

meanwhile marianas helping direct some of the smaller scenes- charlie and/or her wont be in all of them, of course- and its been a hot minute, so hes actually starting to worry about if charlie had run off-

"hey guys, i'm back! sorry that took so long, the afterschool care receptionist was a bitch." the others are excited to see charlie back, and get even more curious when they notice the little figure hiding behind his leg. "aw, come on mi huevita, don't be shy!" the girl steps out from behind him and starts writing on a paper, holding it up for everyone to see. 'hi everyone! my name is juanaflippa! sorry i took away papa, he needed to pick me up!' everyone melts, and mariana looks over, confused.

"ey, i know slime is back, but-" then she sees the little girl looking over at him, and trans bilingual recognizes trans bilingual.

idk idk maybe im just being too goofy silly about this au grgrgrgrgr

-💫

Hello again 💫 anon!!

Hmm… To answer your question, I find Mariana’s plays would be dark and tragic and this may just be his first try on romance that’s why he is the most picky and particular in choosing the main protagonist. I like the juxtaposition of him falling in love with Charlie as something more precious and delicate while producing something dark and twisted and sensual and ambitious and ultimately tragic :D. Y’know like how a sweet man like Guillermo Del Toro produces cryptic and dark horrors before? That’s kinda like Mariana lmaoo

I feel like while Mariana is strict and very serious with his work, he completely melts around children (his nephew Bobby), but especially with Juanaflippa.

Their first time meeting is definitely out of Charlie’s control because he has been keeping his work and personal life completely separate because he didn’t trust Mariana (yet). But let’s say his usual babysitter got sick, so he had to dreadfully bring Juanaflippa with him to work and she does something that completely catches everyone off guard. Like, running up to Mariana, hugging his leg and calling him her mama lol

Charlie is mortified and tries to salvage the embarrassing moment but Mariana is absolutely endeared and before Charlie could pry her off his leg, Mariana picks her up and it’s like they get lost in their own little world.

It’s the first time something like that happened and Charlie watches the pair with wide eyes. Soon, almost immediately enamored when Mariana makes Juanaflippa laugh and all he could do is throw caution in the wind and join them.

Needless to say, the cast and crew are shocked that stone cold artistic director is playing house with his co-star and his daughter.

From there, everything runs seamlessly between them once break was over and they return to their scenes.

And don’t worry about being goofy and silly, it’s part of the charm in coming up with your own ideas <3

[hermanunworthy]

!DNDADS S2 EP42 SPOILERS!

ep42 live reactions!! LETS GOOOO!!!

- this episode title is so dumb agsjk

- listening to the intro between classes. lets see how this goes

- ITS FUCKING FAMILY GUY. OFC

- OKAY NOW IM ACTUALLY GONNA SIT DOWN AND LISTEN

- idk a lot about dnd classes but the thought of them changing the teens classes makes me sad. taylor is the COOL ANIME LOVING RANGER TEEN!!!

- TAYLOR JUST TAKES AFTER RON NOW LMAO

- TAYLOR SWIFT THE ONE ROGUE HATER IN THE WORLD

- LINCOLN M KICKS ILY SO BAD i actually got scared for a sec that matt was gonna end his soccer dreams. NEVER!!!!

- WILL AT THE PIANO HELP

- beth sounds like shes sick :[ or just really tired but that makes sense bc of the tour

- NEW RON FACT????? OMG

- HOLY SHIT HOLYSHIT SO WE ARE GETTING NPC FACTS OH MY GOD HOLY SHIT HWMRIE FACT OH MY GODDDD IM SCREAMIHN

- "is it normal" IM GONNA BE SICK.

- HOLY FUCK. HOLY FUCK. HE REALLY DOES EVERYTHING FOR HIS FUCKINF DAD. THIS IS SOOOOO AAAUGHHGH

- IM NEVER GONNA GET OVER THIS GUYS

- ANTHONY FORGETTING ABOUT HENRY

- NORMAL HELPING HIS FRIENDS W HIS ESSENTIAL OILS MY BABY

- JOEY LUNCHMONEY.

- WILL CAMPOS WHAT DO U HAVE PLANNED FOR HENRY. I AM SHAKING IN MY BOOTS

- NORMAL AND LINC ARGUING OVER WHOSE GRANDPA IS BETTER AWW

- BILLY TALLBOY these are some speaker travis level names

- MATT HEARD "ROLL DANGER" HELPP

- HERMIE MENTION 💪💪 lets hope its the first of many

- LOVING THE NORMAL/LINCOLN DYNAMIC THIS EPISODE

- I FORGOT ABOUT DOOD OOPS

- URINE HEAVEN. that shouldve been the episode title

- MATT DOING THE INSPIRATION CHANT FROM THE LIVE SHOWS KILLED ME FOR SOME REASON

- THE THRONE IS EMPTY. GODS NOT DEAD

- WHY IS PISS SUCH AN ESSENTIAL PART OF THIS SEASON

- looks like boss kicks is going back to being pissfoot again

- HERMIE HOLY FUCK ITS MY GUY

- IS HELL THE BATHROOM???

- ANTHONY AS THE DOLPHIN IS SO GOOD

- I THOUGHT THEY COULDNT GO BACK TO HELL THOUGH

- WAIT WHAT IF THEY SEE TERRY THERE

- WILL SCREAMING "WHAT" IM CRYING

- THIS FUCKING EPISODE MAN LMAOOO

- OH THERES ACTUALLY A SPIRIT HALLOWEEN REALM

- i HOPE they do something w hermie here THEYRE GETTING COSTUMES!!!

- THIS IS MAKING ME SO HYPED FOR HALLOWEEN

- OH NOOO THE COSTUMES ARE PERMANENT

- quite ironic that hermie isnt on board w the costumes thing

- also HERMIE/NORMAL INTERACTION!!! a tiny crumb for me :3

- ELDRITCH BLAST THE PEDOPHILE!!!!

- HERMIE JUST CHEERING THEM ON OFF TO THE SIDE

- LINCOLN MAY BE IN HEAVEN BUT THAT DUDES IN HELL RN MY GOD MULTIPLE DAYS???

- LINCOLNS GONNA FUCKING SNIPE THEM. LIKE FATHER LIKE SON

- LINCOLN IS BLOODIED FROM PISSING WTF IS THIS EPISODE

- DID MATT JUST SAY 16 + 4 = 19

- PISS MAN. IM ACTUALLY CRYING

- A SMOOTHIE?????(

- IM LAUGHING SM IT ACTUALLY HURTS

- NORMAL. ABSOLUTELY NOT.

- HOW DID DARRYL DIE.

- HE FELL WHILE TAKING DOWN CHRISTMAS LIGHTS. WHY AM I ACTUALLY LEGITIMATELY CRYING

- DARNELL FOUND HIM???

- HE KEEPS THE LIGHTS UP FOR GLENN. WAAAAAA

- they couldve talked to glenn while they were in hell..

- WHAT IS W THE NOODLES!!!

- THEYRE ABOUT TO SEE DARRYL AGAIN. OH MY GOD

- HES WAITING FOR HIS FAMILY AND GETTING EVERYTHING READY FOR THEM OH GOD IM GONNA CRY AGAIN

- GEANT. GRANT

- DARRYL GETTING ALL EXCITED TO SEE RON AGAIN I CANT STOP CRYING

- THEYRE GOING BACK TO GRANTS WEDDING DAY I CANT DO THIS

- "i cant be a dad" "i cant trust his judgement all the time bc he chose me" I AM GOING TO KMS

- GRANT WAS GONNA CALL OFF THE WEDDING BC HE CANT LOVE HIMSELF.

- SCAM????

- WAIT WHAT

- WHAT JUST HAPPENED

- I. WHAT RHE FUUUUCK WAS THAT EPISODE

- OKAY IM SO CONFUSED BY THAT BUT THAT WHOLE EPISODE WAS SO GOOD. I CRIED SM. FROM LAUGHTER AND SADNESS. WOW

[wooahaes]

hiiii!! im so excited about the cheol part for UTS!! i have been reading fanfic since like 2011 and i am being so fucking serious when i say uts is one of my favorite things i have read. i am seriously considering getting a darl+ing inspired tattoo with like hints of under the sun themed art work tied into it because the little world that you built means so much to me!! i saw that you said you were planning on writing a poly fic and is that gonna be a continuation of under the sun? like idk if you are planning to and i hope im not overstepping but i feel like it would be so cool if you went deep into explaining the lore and reasons why they were there, why they remember certain things about their past when they are with the reader etc. i would love to hear your plans if you’re willing to share without spoiling it too much lol. i hope you are doing okay and life treats you well!! p.s. if you have any suggestions or anyone has any artistic ability to give inspiration ideas for an UTS tattoo or uts artwork in general that would be so helpful!! would it be okay with you if i got an UTS inspired tat? idk if thats weird to get a fanfic themed tattoo i feel like i should ask permission LOL just to make sure ur comfortable with that. have a great day!!

anon i dont know how to tell u that i all but Literally screamed when i saw this like i have several friends who can attest to the fact i sent them a screenshot going "WHAT THE FUCK /POS" bc of how floored i was to see this ??? like i dont know if u know how like... genuinely thrilling it is to read something like this as a writer but its the kind of thing that keeps me writing

anyway!! yes 100% feel free to incorporate UtS into ur tattoo if u want!! its ur body so its fully up to you, but you absolutely have my blessing to do so if you decide on it! i literally played around with the idea of like. maybe making some sort of subtle stickers to sell on redbubble or something if anyone would be interested in those? i do love the idea of a darl+ing inspired tattoo in general like its not my fave song at all but the vibes are still so comfy <33 my go-to thoughts would either be literal sun-inspired stuff or flowers since both are mentioned within UtS, but anyone more artistic than i am (which is probably most ppl haha) is 100% welcome to weigh in <3

i dont really know what all i can share from my current poly fic plans other than the fact that i think i'm going with a genuinely bittersweet ending? plus the fact that some of the scenes i already have envisioned for poly fic involves alternate perspectives on various scenes seen throughout the different parts of UtS if tht makes sense. i kinda called it pulling back the camera mentally while i was planning it the first time around (my example is... literally a scene i cant talk about bc it happens early in cheol UtS haha its not a major spoiler but i'll leave it obscure for now). theres some angst from tension planned tho that im rly looking forward to writing <3 but i think like... idk if its a major spoiler, but i feel like a huge part of UtS is acceptance? and i think that really comes through in poly fic <3

anyway!!! im literally gonna save a screenshot of this ask to like. remember forever. literally im still not over the fact ur asking to get a tattoo that incorporates my silly fic into it like thats literally the sweetest thing and honestly the kind of sentiment that most writers dream about!!! i hope u have a lovely day anon ty for making mine <3

[aulwil]

hi!! i absolutely adore east of eden, since you posted the last chapter i've reread it so many times already, the way you write is just phenomenal and the love for the characters really shines through. i know it's a finished work i'm not trying to beg you to write more i promise, but i was wondering if you had any kind of like thoughts about what the future would be like within this au, like do you think lilith would be found by heaven, would charlie still start her hotel, if she did would there be another confrontation w adam similar to canon, will they stay in love forever and have gooey earth dates etc.

please feel free to ignore this if you didn't want to answer or if you'd prefer to not get questions like this, i just cant help but think about the little world you built within this au there's so much i'd love to know about it.

i'm also super excited for your nuclear fic the concept sounds absolutely incredible!

also, last thing i was wondering if you have a kofi or anything, i'd love to tip you for the joy you brought me with your fic.

omg omg!! no I LOVE getting questions like this, I love getting to talk about my stories and AUs <3 first of all thank you so much for the comments and kind words, that really means so much to me as an author ;-; I always love knowing I made someone's day better with my fics.

as for post-east of eden, yes they stay in love forever because it's my AU and I say so, lmao. Charlie drags him into optimism and a healthier attitude by his hair. they announce their relationship to Hell at large (that's actually epilogue material that I have planned 💖). they're mushy together. they go on dates to earth and pick out plants for the gardens and start working on trying to fix up the palace. it wasn't really "dilapidated" per se but it definitely had that air of abandonment, so they work on getting it back to something nice.

I do also definitely think she'd still build the hotel! though the setup and early days of it would be much different because Lucifer would be there from the beginning. however, I do think that Charlie would be a little more conflicted about the whole heavenly ideal just because of how Adam was still allowed to be an agent of heaven and do the things he did to Lucifer (which, for the record, Sera did NOT know about. though I don't have much faith in her stopping it even if she did know). but given that it's Charlie I also think that she'd still be optimistic about it. which would in turn give Lucifer many conflicted feelings lol. honestly, I wish I had a better grip on what I imagine the aftermath would be because I think it'd be fun to write! especially more of Charlie grappling with her ideals of heaven vs. the reality of heaven. idk, maybe Emily could have her badass moment and tell Adam to shove it where the sun don't shine if a similar meeting like the one in canon went down. I just think that we see so little of heaven and its dynamics that I have a shakier grasp of how to work in the bounds of it. which obviously doesn't stop me from just worldbuilding from the ground up but like....that sounds like a lot of work and I already have so many ideas I wanna do XD then again. the nuclear physics research I'm doing for the Nuclear AU is also a lot of fucking work. [crying laughter]

as for Lilith, I honestly dunno if heaven cares much about her at this point. I guess that depends on which direction I would want to go:

option 1: heaven considers Lilith just as responsible for the apple incident, freaks out about her being free and on the loose for 200ish years, and drags her back to hell, where a random sinner is promptly like "queen Lilith! you're back! your daughter has grown so much!" and Lilith is like "my what" ahahhaah god she'd be so confused. then maybe she can chill in hell and go back to being the concert queen or whatever and her and Lucifer can have weird "what are we" feelings because they were in love but now he's fucking his daughter that hell collectively thinks is THEIR daughter and Lilith is just drinking to try and deal with this. the answer, btw, to "what are we" is that he's basically a puppy who will kill for anyone that shows him affection but who will also put Charlie above all else because the paternal affection/wrath is real.

option 2: heaven didn't actually really care about punishing Lilith, they just threw her out to further punish/torture Lucifer because he thought that she was going to die, and so therefore they find out that she's out of hell and they're like "oh no!....anyways" and let her be. in which case maybe she'd find out somehow and send a magical letter to Lucifer that basically just says "...babe, u good????"

so, idk, honestly. either of those seems equally likely. I'm allergic to making decisions XD I definitely don't think that she'd raise too much of an issue about their relationship, mostly because the whole "queen of demons" thing and also because she literally never knew Charlie as a child and therefore doesn't see her as such. in this AU, the theoretical meeting they'd have would be when Charlie was already an adult, at which point Lilith is like "yeah she can make her own decisions wtf do I care if she fucks her dad, I'd fuck her dad too"

also! Alastor being involved with the hotel in this AU would be hilarious because he'd want to study Charlie and Lucifer like interesting bugs. he just wants to see what the hell is wrong with those two (daddy issues. it's daddy issues.)

also, yes! I do now have a ko-fi (ok well technically I think I made this ages ago and then psyched myself out of using it). here's a link, I really appreciate any donations, though please nobody feel like they have to. I write fic first and foremost for myself, but another big reason is just for the love of community. it sounds super cheesy but it's true. actually, the real reason I write is because I want to convert the entire morningcest side of the fandom to my niche interpretations of the ship so therefore everyone else will also start writing it and I'll have the pitiful woobie Lucifer/protective Charlie content that I crave <3

argh sorry this got long. but! I really loved talking about it and you can feel free to send in as many questions as you want!! about this verse or any other verses. well, maybe not the Nuclear AU one yet because I'm still working on that one. but like if someone did ask I wouldn't NOT talk about it because I have chronic "can't shut the fuck up" disease unfortch. (that AU and the demon hunter AU are the ones currently being worked on between other little things. kinda waiting on some assistance for the Nuclear AU cause god the research materials for that are dense)

thank you for asking and for your support!!!!! :D

[yikesaronincheese]

i love my best friend sm i really do but i hate how she never responds to anything i say 90% of the time, i will text her multiple things while shes offline and she just likes them, sometimes she doesnt even do that, she also sends/says a bunch of stuff while I'm offline but i always replied to everything she said or sent, recently I stopped doing that but still reply to a couple things since I feel bad not saying anything. i know its passive aggressive and i should just talk to her about it but it pisses me off and makes me so sad that she pretty much ignores what i say, even when its a vent or im super excited about something even tho she says i can vent whenever and I am always there for her when she vents or is excited. i know that everything I get upset about is stupid and trivial but I can't help but feel like the world is ending with everything, and the stuff i get excited about isnt really that cool or interesting to anyone but me but god i wish she would at least act like she cares, it really hurts to be ignored, i dont have many friends and she is one of the only TWO i talk to daily/more than twice a week and she knows that, i don't have anyone else to go to when im upset or excited, so i still just go to her even tho i know she probs doesnt even read or really look at what i send, she just likes it anf moves onto whatever she wants to ramble on about. sometimes she will show that she at least reads some of the stuff i say by mentioning it so i cant even really be mad at her but it still hurts, i wish she would at least reply to a couple things i say, she only does when i say something to what she sent. i still get excited to talk to her and send her stuff on and offline, I think about her fondly and when we do actually talk its so nice and i get so happy and remember why we're friends but at this point idk if im really that happy to have her as my best friend or im just so lonely and dont have any other options. at first i thought i finally found someone who cares and listens to me, a best friend after years of not having one, but now it feels like she doesn't care. when she visited and stayed with me for a month she would interrupt what I was saying and say what sje wanted to then move teh convo on so i couldn't say what i wanted to, she has adhd and cant help but blurt out what she wants to say and i really don't think she has any bad intent but it still hurts. i fantasize about having someone who listens and cares and responds and lets me say what i want to, someone who talks WITH me, not just someone I talk at, if I wanted to just yap into the void I'd ramble here more. someone who has a convo about stuff i want to not just stuff they want to. i really don't think she means to be like this and that makes it worse since i feel bad for being upset with her about it and i really am in the wrong, i know i am, if i would just talk to her about it im sure she would say sorry and reply yo me a little more, she has autism so its hard for her to talk about stuff she doesn't care about but it still fucking hurts to be ignored and i cant help but want to ignore her back

[soopscoop]

life adventures log 5

june 27, 2023

haiii!!!!! :3

you are currently in a silly and goofy mood because you just woke up from a nap and now you’re super hyper. you were messing around in the bathroom and had the sudden urge to write. its been a bit!

its been 2 months of summer so far. you’ve been keeping busy by doing commissions, playing video games, hanging out with friends, and surprisingly, working! its been a very busy summer, but it somehow feels more fun than the previous. yesterday you began your summer class, so hopefully the fun wont be drowned out by work.

you absolutely adore your friends. truly the dearest things to you right now. you never fail to have a great laugh with them whenever they’re around! please continue to always be there for them and let them know that you can talk to them about anything at all :)

in about a month, your friend’s debut is going to be held. you are beyond excited. you’re dancing in beautiful gowns and suits with all of your closest friends and the practices are giving you plenty of time together. you worry for her. she’s so sweet, the world might eat her up. you pray for her.

you miss college. although you will be away from your friends here at home, you cant help but miss how life was as an independent (kinda). next semester you will aim to not be at home as often, as to live a more independent life (mom thinks its because you will be busier). you want to see if you can really do it (you want to show how capable you are!!).

you can really tell that you and everyone around you is getting older. your parents are aging, your grandparents are getting frailer, your friends are being as independent as you are. its a bit jarring. but its exciting none the less. the future seems bright!

you feel very naive. beginning work makes you feel not as capable as other people. its very jarring to be a newbie at something again, and working at an ice cream shop is making that feeling very apparent. its like, you know you can do something, but you still haven’t gotten to the point where you’ve gained enough experience to meet not only everyone’s expectations, but your own. your coworker said the training was garbage anyways so maybe you aren’t as incapable as you think lol.

you hate feeling incapable. a friend went into heat stroke and it just tore at your heart to not know what to do. the ice cream job makes you feel like an idiot all the time. being at home with your grandmother makes you practically go insane because she still treats you like you’re 5. you are naive! guys, let her live in her delusion in peace!

you like doing things at your own pace. if only life went as slow as you liked going then things would be alright. thats clearly not how it works haha

its june. for a couple of months you’ve been considering things. putting your life into perspective, some may say. like, no cis girl would ever say ��god intended me to be a boy before he put me on this earth.” like wow you never really thought it about that way until a little recently, but its been this way for awhile hasn’t it. genderfluid? perhaps? and you dont think you’re bi, not like how you’ve said in the past. every time you think back to that one time you told your roommates that you were questioning about being bi you cringe. thats like. no. it was a little embarrassing and pretty wrong. maybe. idk man. about a year ago you watched the jaiden animaitons aroace video and that definitely resonated with you then, but then suddenly men became so hot..? hormones? insanity? both? maybe you’ll understand when you’re older.

you’ve said to a friend “i think i like men in a... gay way?” they didn’t understand, and honestly, neither do you LMAO. there’s definitely something fruity about you, thats for sure.

you hope you can become someone to love. someone better than the present you. you dont mind being by yourself, and you feel content with the people in your life as of now, but you wouldn’t mind having someone to hold, yknow? anyone? or maybe i should make moves? you feel like you would be such a good partner. thats probably a lie. 

you are a feminist. there have been little things happening around you that just set you the wrong way lately. you remember that women have a place in the world and its never been completely fair. its something you just kinda.. deal with? but you know for sure that there are plenty of men that you sit high above on your beautiful and sexy throne. go babes go.

you’ve been feeling better about your body. its getting smaller. you cant help but think if its just terrible beauty standards or your own personal goal. its both probably. keep it up to at the very least be healthy! take care of yourself please!

as of now, life is good. if only it went a little slower.

songs:

cyanide - daniel caesar

smithereens - twenty one pilots

with all the love and appreciation,

past you

p.s. you want these to be seen when you die. a little bit of a tonal change but like, yeah. you want people to know who you are. you want to be seen. you’ll probably write down the log in info in your phone or something. idk!