#but idk how that would end and ive only just stopped crying on the daily

[one-abuse-survivor]

im recovering, slowly but its happening, snd its weird. i feel my emotions a lot stronger now, its been around 6 months since i left my parents' house and some days are great, i feel stronger and way more confident than i ever did there, i have an amazing job and i just love life. but there are days where everything is just too much, like today. every part of me hurts on the inside and im just tired. its like my heart aches and my chest has an emotional pain inside of it. my grandad died 4 years ago almost, and i feel like im finally getting the chance to grieve him. every day i miss him more and more and i just want him back. it feels like he died yesterday. my nanan died just over a year ago and i feel like im just processing shes gone. im grieving my grandparents, my parents(who they used to be before they abused me), and my (practically nonexistent) childhood all at once and it just hurts inside. its a hurt that makes me feel alive but i just want it to stop and leave me alone. im hoping this is a normal/regular thing people like me go through, and im also hoping it gets better soon. i know it wont in the near future, i feel all the memories coming back some days and i can only process one or two at a time, and it sometimes frustrates me because i want to get it over with, like ripping a bandaid off, but i just cant, and it has to be done step by step. i just miss my grandparents. a lot. im crying a lot more lately too, just feeling my emotions so much stronger since ive started to truly process my trauma. do they stay this strong or settle down? im triggered pretty easily, which, in time, i hope stops happening so easily. i know recovery is a hard road but im thankful and very grateful that i got the chance to start it so early in life. im 19, moved out at 18, and its a bit hard, just so thankful i have a good therapist 😂 sometimes i just get so angry at everything and want to just hurt myself to make the pain stop, or just feel like i do today, slow and tired and achy. i get the rare amazingly happy day, and make sure i enjoy it, dw hahah but idk i just wanted to vent/say this in hopes of hearing that other people are going through this too, and that im not alone

Hey, nonnie. I'm so glad to hear you're away from your parents and recovering from the abuse and trauma you endured. That's amazing, I'm really happy for you ❤️

Yes, in my experience, it is normal to experience these sort of shifts inside you, especially during the first few years of recovery. I personally also went through phases where I would cry almost daily, phases where my emotions seemed out of control, or where I randomly felt immense grief/anger/sadness/disgust. And I can tell you that, in my case, with the help of time and therapy, the bad days, which used to be frequent and leave me exhausted, have become rare and much more manageable. Now, 5 years into recovery, I can have a bad trauma moment (hell, I can even run into my mother) and still enjoy the rest of my day. And my emotions have become much more stable, too. I rarely feel like I'm not in control of them.

Obviously, not everything is easy or perfect. I still live with PTSD, and there's plenty of things I still need to keep working on, like being vulnerable and trusting others, but... The good days have definitely become the norm over time, instead of the exception. In fact, I can't even remember the last time I had a proper emotional flashback or ugly-cried from how overwhelmed I felt (knocking on wood, haha).

So, yes, nonnie, it does get better with time. Recovery isn't linear—I'm sure you've heard that already—but it does get better. Though there may be ups and downs, and you might go through completely unexpected lows as you process all your emotions, the tendency will be to move upwards, and, if you're anything like me, one day you'll wake up and realise you can't even remember the last time you ugly-cried or felt like the world was ending. You'll just be living your life.

You're doing amazingly! There might still be bad days ahead of you, but there are countless good days to come, too.

I hope you can find ways to safely express your anger with the help of your therapist, and I hope you have the space and tools to process some of your grief and trauma memories as they resurface.

Sending a big virtual hug ❤️

Oh, and if anyone else wants to reassure anon that they're not alone, feel free to do so!

[privateairventstowhine]

Vent

It’s almost a year now that me and my partner broke up and im still pretty fucked up about it. I have moments where i think to myself “hey, i can make a life for myself and i can find someone to share it with one day! It’s just gunna take time” but those moments are pretty fleeting and usually just happen when i’m distracted. Right now i’m in a self destructive spiral where i’m mourning the fact that we probably won’t be close friends anymore or even casual friends. They don’t respond to me and don’t send me things anymore. I feel like that talk i had with them worsened things instead of helped. I wanted closure and to let them know things, but i feel like i did the opposite and created more of a rift. Lately i feel like i can never stop myself from talking too much and that my need to understood and forgiven gets me into more trouble than it’s gotten me out of. In highschool i feel like i communicated better than i do now at 23. I just hate myself so much while at the same time feeing shame because i know i should have more compassion for myself because wat does that say about how i would treat someone else in this situation. Im just so sad all the time as well as feeling like a failure because i dont have a job or even a purpose. And i know that thats internalized ableism and capitalism ! I know i know i know. I know all the arguments and counter arguments to how i myself feel! But it doesnt change anything. It doesnt make me feel better, it doesnt make me change perspective, it doesnt help me to get over things. I just feel like a shell performing my routines trying to fill myself with enough food, weed, and media so i dont kill myself. My regrets r becoming almost too much to bear. I feel exactly like i felt months ago; trapped, cornered, and scared but unable to move myself to change it. Idk what rock bottom looks like for me but i feel like ive been cracking that cement floor every day, week, month ive been feeling like this. I’ve only had two secure attachments in my life and one of them i lost. Im trying so hard not to lean too hard or rely too heavily on the other but god do i just want to stop living. The state of the world isnt helping either. My country is making it harder and harder to live as myself and for the people around me. Not that it wasnt already hard but it’s just getting worse. I feel like if my mom passed away i would end things so fast. The daily struggle to find happiness in even little things is so hard. Nothing seems to matter for me anymore. I have no goals, no prospects, and nothing to strive for. Eat, sleep, watch media, cook, clean, wake up, masterbate, laugh, cry, want to die, crochet, guilt, clean more, frustration, spend money, go to appointments, traffic, stare into space, pet the cat, get high on weekends, and do the dishes. i want out.

[goldencuffs]

First, I need to say this because... your AMAZING 💖 BEAUTIFUL. 💖 HEART-STOPPING 💖 Sugar Daddy AU created a kink in me for Sugar Daddy Damen that now I can barely fill because of how lil of this trope we have 😪 Which I think is a shame.. they have everything in them to do great with that dynamic not because of the need (money, security, etc.) but because I now Laurent enjoys being pampered and Damen enjoys spoiling the people he loves. So if you ever feel like doing something with that trope again.. well, here I AM! 👉🏼👈🏼

Okay, now that I said that.. Hi! How are you?🥰 I just read you want to talk about your fic with #dadDamen, so I thought about coming here and.. would you like something to drink first? I'm gonna get some margaritas so we can chill and talk all day/night long. Are you ready? Because I have a LOT to say 🙈 1) Laurent x Isander ?? Oh my god, yeeeesss!!! I need more of them. I think we don't write enough of them even if it's just as friends. So thank you so much... I loved it.

Let's start with the good shit 2) You went for prise kink and dirty talk, and once again, I feel like you were sent to me by the goddess of fanfic. Haha yes! Give me all the kinky things I love 💦 (señor! I came here again now that I finished and... I need to tell you that way you wrote the subtle praise kink into Laurent and Damen's dynamic is perfection. I can not wait for them to go a bit stronger with it)

3) Going back to Damen, he taking the role of House Papa and leaving Kashel to go to work? So sexy of him... Damen writing about intergalactic love? also very sexy of him (He knowing Veretian and surprising Laurent when he's saying something dirty to Damen, not thinking he would understand it? 🔥 One can only hope, but it would be súper sexy too) haha

Moving forward... 4) Laurent trying to stalk Damen and falling was hilarious, but Damen Drama King Vallis saying that Laurent liked a half-naked pic of him? Okay, sir, have you never go to the beach? (But that's not his only bit Jokaste's breakfast bowl deserves to be the name of a rock band)

And yet you then give us this 5) Damen finding THAT Twitt about Laurent ☠️ hahaha are you trying to kill me? (Tbh I don't know what to say besides that I'm waiting.. waiting for this to come back in any form 💅 )

Laurent asking for help with the climax after he said he didn't come just a few sentences before? Are you sure you are not trying to kill me? (Me coming back to this after reading the end of ch 5: oh! *In Itálics* 🤯 I have so many things to say about this so many questions, but I don't want to do this more sexual than what it already is, so I'm gonna shut up just in case)

6) "He would think Laurent was drunk not on alcohol but on Damen's praise" might be one of my fave lines... The Dom/sub undertones are beautiful! So powerful and well written (it makes me wonder how much do they realize about it and if Damen has any experience with light D/s.. also, what about Laurent? maybe just things he reads on the internet?😈)

7) do you know how almost every book/fic with age difference always has that moment when someone thinks they are son and dad? Well, your version with Stavos saying that he is happy seeing Damen back in the games it's pure gold. I hope you know it. It was funny but also refreshing 💞

8) “Why do you still call him sir? Are you scared of him?” (...) Laurent says, “No,” and then there’s the sound of a hard, wet kiss." 🧐 Maybe I am reading too much into this, but.. did Laurent get a bit turn on with/because Damen and then went and kiss Isander? This makes me think a lot about the way you are writing this Laurent so shy but also confident, eager for Damen's love, but while he still is with Isander, and I kinda love not knowing what he thinks or feels.

9) Damen planing a date for Laurent, going as far as thinking of calling Isander to tell him Laurent should eat the seafood? Laurent loving the date because it was damen's idea and getting sad when he thinks damen didn't really care? Damen, every time he simply says Laurent's name and gets him to admit what he really wants? 🥺 I shouldn't, but the tender D/s moments are so cute and sweet.

And to finish just for now, 10) that last part hurt so good! 😍😭 God! Can wait for more. I'm honestly in love with this idea, this au, this way you wrote them. And that spoiler? I want more.. actually, no, I NEED more, hahaha.

It's so beautifully written. Congrats, sweetheart, another fantastic fic. 🌈💝🌈💝

💫Please feel free to talk about anything else you want, to mention anything that I didn't, and you wish I did or even fight with me because I been getting all wrong, Haha. I would love to read you! 💫

Ps: I think that I cant wait for... Damen first time calling Laurent with any kind of pet name.🐍 Laurent finally letting go and crying into damen's arms/lap 🖤 all the praise he is going to get once Damen feels completely comfortable🍑

Have a nice week!

okay so!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this is the best, nicest, most wonderful message ever??????? like, omg??????? im completely speechless!!!! 🥺🥰💖💖 i cant believe you dissected this story so perfectly thank you and i love you so much!!!!!!! 💖 ive been wanting to write proper praise kink so bad and im so glad you liked it so much 🥺 there's going to be so much more lol: laurent just really needs to take care of someone in this au and damen delivers!! 😋 and thank you for mentioning how sexy it is for damen to write intergalactic romance!! i agree!!!!!! idk theres something ~wholesome~ about damen writing sappy, melodramatic romance 😭

im so sorry my own message is so short but i just want to let you know the reason my response is so late is because i kept re reading this message like it was the daily newspaper 🤧 I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!! like so much!!! thank you, with all my heart. im in awe of your kindness!!! 🥰🥺

[jsteneil]

Neil Josten’s Birthday Bash

in which the foxes don’t get anything done, ever

 *

Nicky added Dan, Kevin, Aaron and three others to “Neil Josten's Birthday Bash Organization Committee”.

Nicky: can't add Andrew because he still owns a FLIP PHONE but here we go

Dan: hell yeah B-)

Nicky: kevin can fill him in with the details anyway

Kevin: why me?

Allison: because you live with him?

Matt: you're practically attached at the hip

Dan: omg ur roomm8s

Matt: ^^^ what allison said

Dan: yeah

Nicky: OR aaron can do it on wednesdays so that there's no chance of neil finding out :D

Aaron: no.

Aaron left the chat.

Nicky: what

Nicky: the

Kevin: just add him back

Nicky: fuck

Kevin: ffs

Kevin: some ppl are in class

Nicky added Aaron to the chat.

Aaron: im muting you all

Allison: just embrace the fact that you've lived in SC for years and say y'all

Nicky: y'all!!!

Nicky: yeah

Matt: dude don't how are u gonna know when to buy your coordinated outfit and rehearse the choreography if you mute us

Dan: Aaron?

Renee: I do think he muted us

Allison: fuck a crybaby

Nicky: hey

Allison: what's he gonna do? Unmute us?

Dan: asdhskfjdl ALLI

Matt: lmfao

Nicky: moving ON

Nicky: the important thing here is my boy neil's birthday

Kevin: and you wonder why Aaron left

Nicky: what?

Kevin: maybe Neil doesn't want to celebrate his bday

Nicky: no that's too sad

Nicky: next person?

Allison: not to be that bitch

Matt: oh?

Allison: but do we even know when his birthday is?

Allison: fuck you matthew donovan boyd

Matt: sorry i love you

Dan: it was easy

Dan: matt ur easy

Matt: ily babe

Dan: <3

Kevin: jan 19th

Renee: March 31st?

Allison: wait

Dan: uhhhh

Matt: Neil Josten deserves 2 bdayz

Kevin: no jan 19th

Renee: oh i thought we were using the one he chose for himself

Matt: Renee add a smiley face

Renee: :)

Renee: ?

Dan: babe ur mind,,,, im crying

Matt: ikr

Allison: stop using mygf so

Kevin: is it me or does it sound really passive aggressive bitchy with a smiley face

Dan: ye that's the point

Renee: I really wasn't trying to be

Matt: oh no we know, sorry

Matt: i feel bad now

Matt: it was just funny

Matt: sorry

Dan: :(

Renee: It's okay, don’t worry

Renee: :)

Dan: renee STOP i feel like ur going 2 murder me in my sleep

Renee: I could, but I won't

Nicky: im shaking and im not even in your dorm

Allison: and we daily thank god for that

Nicky: hey im an excellent roommate

Nicky: i always leave so cap and matt can have sexy times

Dan: yeah but then u call it sexy time

Allison: ive seen the bathroom nicky

Nicky: that's aaron

Matt: l o l

Kevin: aaron's a neat freak

Allison: exposed

Nicky: erik come get me the people here are mean

Renee: So when's Neil's actual birthday?

Kevin: jan 19th

Nicky: who's gonna ask andrew?

Kevin: HE HAS REAL PAPERS NOW

Kevin: JUST GO CHECK AND LET ME BE IN CLASS IN PEACE

Allison: well okay drama queen

Dan: kevin: *is on the chat as much as us*

Dan: also kevin: guys why r u dragging me here

Matt: it's okay kevin we can talk about it during practice

Renee: Don't goad him, Matt

Dan: lmfao babe u thought

Matt: uh oh

Allison: lol

Dan: we need 2 trounce the ravens nxt wk

Nicky: do we have to

Dan: y'all r hauling ass @ practice or god help me

Nicky: id settle for a close victory

Matt: nicky if you don't help us close the goal next friday im telling neil about his surprise

Nicky: noooooo :'(

Allison: ye renee has enough to do without having to face stuff y'all should have blocked

Renee: Andrew is also a goalkeeper

Allison: yeah but he doesn't give a fuck

Renee: That's neither true nor fair

Dan: i want bragging rights over this vctry, end of the question

Matt: are we just gonna ignore the fact that the fbi chose neil's old bday

Matt: even tho they made him a new identity

Allison: wonder how this conversation went

Nicky: are we ignoring the fact that neil is a goddamn CAPRICORN

Allison: "in my left hand is your birthday date. In my right hand is your other birthday" *shuffles behind his back*

Matt: idk about astrology but I checked and he tried to pass for an aries so what does that tell us?

Dan: shut up adfhskdjs

Nicky: im dying

Kevin: [attached picture]

Matt: did u steal neil's ID

Allison: i thought you were in class

Kevin: he sent it to me

Nicky: his phone can take pics??

Dan: RLY crappy 1s but yeah

Nicky: so all those times andrew refused to send me pics of his Eden’s Twilight's outfits so i could coordinate neil's…

Matt: :/

Kevin: he just doesn't like you

Allison: i would have laughed but you two have been fighting the good fight since last year, dressing neil up

Nicky: hey

Renee: Kevin, that was mean

Nicky: but thanx allison, I think so too

Kevin: sorry

Kevin: he's just difficult?

Nicky: yeah :(

Dan: omg u guys rmr when neil was on k ferdinand's show n he looked like a bite-sized snack in that shirt

Kevin: not exactly what I remember from this interview

Dan: u were pretty 2 <3

Kevin: oh my god

Renee: Didn't Neil keep the clothes?

Nicky: i've never seen him wear them again

Nicky: maybe he STUFFED THEM DOWN THE TOILET

Matt: uh okay

Allison: weird emphasis

Kevin: are you still stuck on that

Dan: what

Kevin: it's what happened with the clothes he wore the first time we went to columbia

Nicky: do you know how expensive that plumber was?

Matt: just a thought but maybe that wouldn't have happened if you didn't force him to come with you and drugged him against his will

Allison: don't tell me someone actually peed on them and tried to flush

Nicky: take it up with andrew

Matt: you literally drove the car

Kevin: what happened in columbia stays in columbia

Allison: omg oh my god

Dan: IM SCREAMING

Nicky: what was i supposed to do, get knifed?

Nicky: also ^^^^ yeah.

Nicky: ANYWAY

Nicky: now that Kevin got us proof that the FBI officially made neil a capricorn again,,

Dan: the fbi be like "oh u thought u could escape ur traumatic past? That's nice buddy

Matt: yeah I don't think beating last year's party is gonna be hard

Dan: here's ur bday n trauma back"

Nicky: HAPPY THOUGHTS

Nicky: :(

Nicky: anyway it's the big 21st, so the first thing in order is BOOZE

Kevin: uh nicky

Renee: He's turning 20?

Matt: what???

Kevin: yeah he aged himself up on his fake papers

Matt: oh my god

Dan: lmfao only neil

Nicky: he is baby

Matt: does. Does he know though. Like did he check when they made him the papers.

Kevin: I'm guessing so

Matt: imagine filling a form or smth and you get the day right but not the year

Renee: Wait Kevin, how did you get neil to send you the pic without telling him about the surprise party?

Nicky: DON'T YOU DARE HAVE TOLD HIM ABOUT THE NJBB

Allison: njbb?

Dan: neil josten's bday bash, im guessing

Nicky: Neil Josten's

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Nicky: yes

Allison: it doesn’t sound right

Allison: like, something’s missing in the name

Matt: alli we play a sport named after what you get when you take the s from sexy

Dan: 10 bux kevin wishes he didn't have such a stick up his butt so he could reply with exy is sexy

Allison: im not taking that

Kevin: i actually don't know why she named it that

Kevin: she never told the press and she didn't write it anywhere so

Nicky: :(

Allison: oh

Dan: sorry :(

Renee: Maybe coach knows?

Matt: maybe each letter has a meaning

Kevin: how?

Allison: endangering xylophones yearly?

Matt: EXceptional daY

Matt: and then, boom, it's about your name

Renee: Matt, I like that idea!

Dan: allison, no

Kevin: I'll have to ask coach, renee

Kevin: anyway it was always going to be her name, she invented it

Nicky: someone bring neil in so he can say something super serious about how kevin is a legendary striker whose name is already associated with exy and make us choke with emotion

Kevin: nicky….

Nicky: look it's working and he's not even there

Allison: it's the josten effect

Dan: changing your entire life's beliefs one extremely tragic remark at a time

Matt:...

Matt: someone change the subject im sad

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Kevin: oh yeah nicky asked me how i got neil's ID

Allison: and?

Kevin: i told him i signed him up for his own exynews account so he could stop hogging mine for streaming

Kevin: so i needed his name and birthday

Kevin: and then we got into an argument about date formats

Nicky: dd/mm/yy 4ever

Allison: eww

Kevin: so he sent me a pic instead of writing the date

Dan: it's the european propaganda getting to him

Kevin: i guess i really have to get him an account now

Dan: kevin i know you're entirely serious but that's so funny

Nicky: THE REST OF THE WORLD USES IT

Matt: admit it, you can't wait to go back to Germany because you secretly like the metric system

Nicky: yeah dicks sound bigger if you use centimeters

Dan: didn't need 2 know that

Nicky: not that erik needs that :)

Dan: I DON'T WANNA KNOW

Renee: ….

Matt: honestly im glad i don't understand german or i would never live down all the skyping

Dan: renee's like "can't relate" lmfao

Renee: No indeed

Allison: hell yeah that's my girlfriend

Renee: <3

Allison: hey minyard if you're secretly lurking now is the time to leave

Allison: …

Renee: No, he truly muted us earlier

Dan: are we surprised?

Renee: we'll catch him up on what we decide to do later

Renee: Nicky?

Nicky: oh, yeah!!!

Nicky: BIRTHDAY BASH

Matt: here we go again

Dan: mamma mia

[m1nkyun]

‘we must love’ mv theory

hi welcome to my wild theory :^) i never really wrote anything like this down before BUT this storyline was too good to not attempt to figure out and ive been thinking about this since the mv teaser dropped. so here’s what i think what’s going on in the mv. just a lil disclaimer ig,  that all of this is just what im picking up from the music videos, so just take this theory into consideration not as fact lol. plz humor me bc i’ve been writing this for almost 5 hours and im gonna lose it. so plz join me in this wild adventure thru different timelines and universes that also tie into ‘on/off’ and ‘complete’ bc onf’s concept is wild :^)

to connect everything with ‘we must love’ we gotta recap on the first two music videos real quick. so buckle up kids lets GO. im basing this off my vague remembering off of the explanation for the ‘on/off’ mv, i can’t remember where exactly they explained it but if i’m remembering right. they’re all androids and laun is their energy provider. i think the android part may have been apart of my own theory when on/off first came out (reason being is their barcodes) but laun is 100% the one who provides the energy or something like that. lol. something to note here is hyojin, e-tion, and j-us are mostly a trio together and really the only ones you get to see in uniforms together in the mv. (other than the scene where laun passes out and everyone’s like o dam. ) they are the three to look into laun’s room. and there’s the fact that they were just chilling in his room learning about the globe and stuff. notable since they’re the most prominent ones in the great search for laun 2k19. just food for thought 🤔

here’s showing when laun put in too much energy in this machine and ended up passing out.

putting “my name is” and a picture of himself, this may be because he had some sort of memory loss as a result from the pass out. he has this as a reminder for himself.

and this very interesting cinema board may be something to look at here, maybe predicting the future to come in this universe lmao.

(a side note, in the ‘on/off’ mv, laun’s barcode is on the back his neck but in ‘we must love’, its on the side of his neck. whether or not this is important or a continuity error idk lol. in general im just gonna ignore the barcode rule bc i didnt see it on anyone else in we must love so IDK. ive actually only remember seeing it on hyojin and laun i think. the barcodes are so confusing idk what to to with them :^( ) before i continue to the next mv, i just want to point out the MAJOR object that truly connects everything together, this funky lil asteroid:

this bad boi is a lil demon in disguise. Complete: the connections to ‘on/off’ are very minimal to a sense of you can just excuse them as “references” rather than any clues as it to being set in another universe. but that’s honestly exactly what it is. it was more than just cute lil callbacks to their first music video. this is legit just same boys, same timeline, different universe. example one:

the bad boi returns. mk looking up at this asteroid is very important. you’ll see later or you already know why probably lmao. two: the machine laun’s messing with may be the energy source machine that’s used in this universe. it does have a little card slot in it.

and then THIS SCENE:

asteroids literally raining down. very similar to the opening scene in ‘we must love’ this may be the start of what’s happening as a result of the ‘on/off’ / ‘we must love’ universe.

AND NOW THE ‘WE MUST LOVE’ once again, starting off the mv is mk looking at the asteroids raining down like, a doomsday type of feel rather than a cute shooting star kinda feel as the previous ones. it’s not even the same as when j-us in ‘complete’ was surrounded by asteroids because this time there’s literally ember falling around the era. it’s definitely more danger feel than in ‘complete’. i think the reason the world is quickly heading to danger is because of laun leaving the facility. he’s not just the energy to them, but to the whole world? and since he’s gone, everything’s s starting to get out of control.

laun wakes up in a forest, looking completely lost unaware where he is.

and then here, he’s having flashbacks to two scenes that happen later in the music video. where they try to stop him from leaving. and when hyojin confronts him. due to the glitchiness of the memories, i’m believing that the memories are leaving him and he’s going through memory loss again like in ‘on/off’.

j-us over here in laun’s room trying to locate his whereabouts. in the address you can see it says “universe 01” at the bottom. basically confirmed that there is multiple universes and they’re at least 99 of them. wow good luck finding him now.

yuto’s clock being 3:14 is the same length as the music video. at first i thought it might have been a timer for how long everyone had in the universes they were sent to to find laun but then i realized they were most likely there for more than that amount of time so idek lol. BUT i thought’d i’d keep this part in here as just something to think about ig.

this is where it gets…. sad. laun’s looking out of the window which we now know can change screens. assuming that it’s actually a window to the other universes, laun looks out admiring the nature and such.

the way he looks out the window is so longing, like he wants to experience it himself. other than when he needs to be out, he’s always trapped in this room. even in “on/off” all of his solo scenes were him cooped up in his room. the only time he was actually out of his room and not in uniform was him sadly holding a balloon. this kid has discovered the beauty of nature and really wants to venture out to see it himself.

im not sure if it’s suppose to be the same room but there are a lot of similarities to the both of them. im thinking maybe due to being on a different set, they did what they could to resemble laun’s original room? because a big thing here is laun’s window, which is basically his freedom. which from the outside it’s just a window looking in, but what if it’s a two way window? on laun side it has the capability to show different universes, other side looking in his room to check on him.

right after j-us finds laun’s location, seemingly figuring out this whole ordeal, since he was also reading some sort of message. he gets caught. with the sign being said “Danger: Time Travel Operate”, it’s possible that time travel is illegal within the facility, probably specifically to the students, because of how dangerous it is.

my idea as to why this scene is happening is because laun’s presence lead hyojin to here. except laun isn’t here exactly. he was there but in another universe. and the fade outs are showing that. they’re always so close, yet so far.

then there’s this flashback to when everyone frantically trying to stop laun from time traveling, they know how dangerous time traveling is and they’re trying to save him

his arm is out as if he’s trying to tell them to stay back (not in a mean way of course, but in a “plz let me do this” way). but in a later scene he looks even more worried, maybe last second regretting this decision. he’s probably aware the dangers of time traveling, he’s ready to risk it all in the name of nature, but i dont think he’s fully aware how vital it is for he himself to stay in that place.

e-tion finally comes across laun, the real laun. but before he can call out to him, e-tion disappears. i have two theories to this. 1. continuing on from like the laun & hyojin scene from before. they’re in the same place, but different universes. but imo that wouldnt really make sense because e-tion clearly sees laun. in hyojin and laun’s scene, i think it’s clear that neither of them saw each other since hyojin just walked off. 2. e-tion’s time travel watch is on a timer. and right before he can catch laun’s attention, the watch sends him back to his own universe. :( which i think is more accurate. which means that the fade outs have multiple purposes.

there he is

and there he go

and here’s to what i dub is the absolute saddest part of this entire music video (other than laun crying )’: ) yuto stayed behind in the facility in their classroom. its showing everyone having fun, wyatt looking up into the sky :^),  probably the daily antics of their classroom breaks. but then its everyone fading out to an empty room. it’s showing what used to be. when they were all together. yuto is reminiscing on the past. he misses his friends and my heart HURTS.

and with the final scene. hyojin finally catching up to laun. this scene is kinda complicated for many reasons. laun looks right at hyojin but turns around and hyojin disappears. 1. the same theory of different universes. laun may have felt hyojin’s presence and turned around to check to see if anyone was behind him, but left after seeing no one was there. which will be wild bc then laun woulda had a stand off - stare off with the air if that was the case.

2.he clearly saw hyojin, but he just had no idea who he was due to the memory loss. and being the nice boy laun is, he’d just smiled at him and went on his way. making hyojin miss his last chance of catching laun due to the timer that sent him back to his universe. also remember, this scene was involved in laun’s memory wipe in the beginning of the mv. and this is the only scene that’s in black and white. was it a flash back in this scene, or a flash forward from laun when he was in the woods?

some after thought questions i have:

why did hyojin have to use an emergency button to time travel, but e-tion had a watch similar to laun. and how did mk and wyatt get to where they were as well. i would make the suggestion that mk is actually in the ‘complete’ universe due to the asteroid storm, but then there’s this scene. behind him are screens showing the different universes everyone’s in. (including the one he was in).  maybe he went to the ‘complete’ universe after this scene, but how did he get there. 🤔

that being said i have no idea about wyatt’s part. him with the motorcycle, and then running through the city. yeah he’s probably looking for laun too, but im kinda sad that there wasn’t more to it like everyone else :( i just dont know. and to tie it all together, the lyrics of the song are directly about all of this. “losing memories” “past, future, a different world”. it a song about a familiar feeling with someone as if you knew them in the past, future, a whole different universe, like you were bonded by time. this music video doesnt just tie that in on its own, but also with ‘on/off’ and ‘complete’. i just find it completely genius the way they went about it and im really curious if this concept will continue and i really hope it does because there’s so many unanswered questions. is laun gonna be ok, will they bring him back safely, is the world gonna be ok, most importantly, where’s wyatt. the only thing i haven’t brought up is the astronaut lady in ‘on/off’ because i have no idea where’d she fit into the other mvs. but she is so valid. so basically, tl;dr, laun wanted to universe travel to all the beautiful places he’s seen through his alternate universe looking window to temporally escape from the confines of his room where he always has to stay cooped up in, as seen in the ‘on/off’ mv. he ended up losing his memory from doing so since he’s pretty prone to memory lost, causing mostly everyone to go out looking for him and failing at the last moments. and now the world is in peril because laun’s basically the earth’s control center but he’s lost and not in the facility where he can keep things balanced. tl-tl;dr: laun just wanted to see the real world but then it turned into where’s waldo: laun edition, except if we cant find laun fast the whole universe is going to die.

i hope u enjoyed my lil theory, plz dont be afraid to share your theories with me or let me know if i missed anything important, or messed up anything in this theory. im all open to discuss this amazing cinematic masterpiece that our lord and saviors onf is providing us with!!

[dreammutual-remade]

high school!donghyuck

request: idk if you’re taking reqs but i really like ur highscool aus so if u want to write one abt hyuck ill be :^))))))) - anonymous

word count: 5.1k

a/n: oof its been awhile unnies!!!! ive had exams for the past two weeks and I still have exams now so im sorry for not posting anything but reblogs with headassery in the tags!!! we are continuing the high school series n renjun is next!! since I got like 3 requests for him !!!!! hhehhehehheheh its gonna b cute <3 anyways hope u enjoy this I love my lil duckie baby

masterlist

mark, renjun, jeno, donghyuck, jaemin, chenle, jisung

big oof i’m gonna cry while writing this

i’m running out of creative ways to say let’s dive in

let us take the plunge

okay!!!!!!!!!! so you’ve been an editor/writer for the school paper for pretty much all of your high school career

you’re not super well known though because you don’t try to take any credit for anything and always sign your pieces like “- the daily newspaper team” or smth 

anywhom you’ve always loved writing about the stuff around you or making up little short stories

one of your hobbies is just going people watching and trying to write down a brief description of people you see and what you think they’re on the way to do

you’ve befriended the baristas at your favorite spot, lucas and mark, and they always beg to read them but you never let them because mark is too nice to tell you it’s shit and lucas is too dumb to at least say it nicely

you’ve got at least 6 notebooks FULL of these little stories but you’ve never really ? showed anyone because wow showing others your work is Scary

criticism ???/$&/&:&:&:

it’s midway through the first semester of the school year and you’ve been super busy since it’s football season and you gotta write about all the games

and you haven’t had much time to write your cute little stories for yourself and you miss it a lot :/

this weekend though the chance of rain is SUPER high so the football game is cancelled and you have plenty of time to yourself !! :D

there is, a setback tho

THUNDER!!!!! IS SO SCARY !!!!!!

u fckin softie

you decide to tough it out though and get suited up in some polka dot rain boots and a rain jacket and set off to find somewhere to chill

as you’re walking to the nearest lil greenhouse/cafe thing it starts raining ,, ,,, hARDER

when you started it wasn’t rlly raining it was just like that weird tension in the air right before the air pressure drops and it starts to rain and you were already on edge OOF

but then it’s raining so you clutch your notebook to your chest and dash

usain bolt had nothing on you girly you were ZOOM ZOOM

broom broom- doyoung

unfortunately you don’t make it though because with you head down to keep the rain out of your eyes you run RIGHT into someone’s CHEST !!!!!!

hehe u know i’m a sucker for these god damn TROPES

your notebook goes flying and and the arms attached to the Chest That Caused Your Grief come up to catch you by the arms

“oh gOD sorry are you okay ??? i wasn’t looking and i was trying to keep my journal dr- MY JOURNALSDJDDD”

you fling yourself out of this boys arms and pick up your soaking wet journal sadly

:((((((( you had so many stories in there wtf

“oh shit i’m sorry do you uh want me to buy you another one ???”

“no that’s okay it wasn’t your fault :( and it’s just a journal i’m only sad because all my stories are gone :(((((“

you finally look up from your Ruined journal to see , the prettiest boy

you can’t tell for sure cause his hair is soaking wet but it’s a bright red that looks a bit faded and his skin is tanned and golden like HONEY OOF

he meets your eyes and awkwardly smiles and he looks so GUILTY AW

“no really it’s fine don’t feel bad!!”

“okay but i feel bad what can i do to make it up to you?”

“hMMM you could come help me think of wacky stories about people who walk past”

“well if you INSIST m’lady”

“aw, never mind”

“IM JUST KIDDING SJDJJD”

so in the pouring rain you both walk to cafe and find a little corner to people-watch in

on the way there he tells you his name is donghyuck but his friends call him hyuck

“dude that’s the sound goofy makes when he laughs your friends are terrible”

“oh my god i don’t even think they know what they’re saying HsjdjHEHHS”

after a couple minutes of bad goofy impressions you decide to call him duckie instead because ,,,, GARSH MICKEY 🤠🤠🤠

also because it’s cute

you didn’t hear this from me but he uwued so hard rip his street cred with the Boys

anyways right before you settle in you’re like hey uh did you have somewhere to be like weren’t you heading places

and he was like nah i like the rain it’s nice to just walk around feels GOOD

your eyes widen so big and he snorts because what’s so ridiculous about that

and you’re like uh UH NO NOPE NO SIR I DONT FUCK WITH DEMONS

your dramatic ass tries to get up and LEAVE but he grabs your wrist and is like noooo we haven’t even written any stories yet why do you hate rain so much ??

you explain how thunder is the work of the devil and that lightning could strike you down where you stand at any moment and storms are EVIL

he chuckles and side eyes you

“aW you big wimp you’re afraid of thunderstorms aren’t you”

“yES. like any sane person would be”

“you know a lot of people actually like storms”

“like i said, SANE people do not”

and then you change the subject right quick because your face is getting RED with embarrassment

you n donghyuck spend like 2 hours just sitting in the corner and writing little scenarios on napkins

“oh shit that girl over there with the french braids is TOTALLY gonna marry hipster beanie guy in two years. mark my words”

“idk y/n she lowkey has the hots for the barista”

“ ew you mean mark??”

“yeah. now THAT man is a work of art”

MARKHYUCK RISE

“god what is wrong with you maybe you should buy me another book”

“too late now we’re FRIENDS and i don’t owe you ANYTHING”

“being friends doesn’t work like that at all but, okay”

at the end of the day you’ve got a stack of napkins with scribbled notes on them

(one of them has donghyuck’s number on it skdkkfjd)

he leaves you with a bright smile and you’re in awe this boy is so golden and lovely

oof and when you were still in the cafe his hair had dried to the unnatural red color that he ? somehow made look good ugh not fAIR

and it was a lil curly and fluffy and looked very soft :(((((

as you walk home you drift along the sidewalk with a stupid smile on your face wow please get a little less obvious hunty

when you get home the sun is setting and the rain has cleared and you are so Happy that was the best day !!!

you weren’t even scared of the thunder because whenever the sky would fckin CRACK OPEN hyuck would subtly try to keep your attention and distract you with questions

the sky: AAAAAAAAAAA

duckie: oH Hey uhhh so hOW do you even come up these stories ?):$:$ theyre so good

such a sweet boy uwu

when you get home your mom eyes you suspiciously as you drift down the hall towards your room but doesn’t comment

she didn’t need to though because you immediately return and tell her everything !!!

she encourages you to befriend him at school and see where it goes from there ;))) or just TEXT HIM

so you do

both of those things !!!

you: hey!! it’s y/n btw

duckie: hey! u make it home alive without the sky cracking open and killing u

you: stOP MAKING FUN OF ME

you send him memes and he sends , even better ones back this boy is Husband Material

the next couple weeks you realize that hyuck is actually in like a lot of your classes

and he’s like yeah i don’t blame you for not noticing since your nose is always in one of those Damn Journals

can’t believe u smh

anywhom

you start actually interacting with people in class

and by people i mean donghyuck and any of his friends who happen to be there

you literally get thrown into their friendgroup like one day you know donghyuck and have vaguely heard of jeno since he’s on the soccer team

and then the next you’re a part of the group message and jaemin begs for your math homework during lunch ????

“jaemin just dO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK FOR ONCE ???”

“ugh but i don’t know how”

“hey you know what maybe if you didn’t sleep in class you WOULD”

“IM TIRED GOD DAMN IT”

this is usually when duckie interjects with

“hey now girls, you’re both smart <3”

“i know im smart but , jaemin , i don’t know about him 😔😔”

poor jaemin leave him alone :(

jisung is , extREMELY awkward around you because he’s a Baby Freshman and you’re a Female Senior hsjdjf it’s so cute

and chenle is the complete opposite he IMMEDIATELY latches onto you and is always like

“y/n !!!! wanna watch this video of me singing and playing the piano when i was thirteen on live national television !!!!”

“y/N !!!!!!! can you drive me n jisung to get ice cream plEASE !!! we won’t even play PSY this time”

“okay,,,,, pinky promise?”

his pinky hooks around yours at an incredible speed as he jumps up and down with excitement

“pinky promise !!!!!!!!!!”

hyuck overhears and insists upon coming with for , unknown reasons

renjun and jeno keep snickering to each other across the lunch table too uGH

sneaky bastards !

after school you wait in the parking lot for the Babies with hyuck who looks rather flushed considering his skin is pretty tan and it takes a lot for him to visibly blush ??

“hey duckie boy you good?”

“haha yEAH uh just wondering where the boys are hhhh”

“oh yeah ! they should’ve been here like 10 mins ago”

your phone buzzes in your pocket and you go to check it to see a text in the group message

lele: hey y/n~ me n jisung can’t come we totally forgot we joined a frisbee team and there’s practice today !!!

blueberry: yeah ! have fun w/ hyuckie tho

moominluvr96: sjdjd i’m so proud of them

jenomunomunomu: absolute legends have fun at ur frisbee practice my sons

you: 🅱️ro i wanted to go home and SLEEP

blueberry: sorry ! xoxo :*

duckie: chenle my son ? how could you 🅱️etray me this way???

you: ur dead to me

you: literally what’s a chenle ?? sounds like a poisonous fruit

lele: NO IM SORRY

but tbh you’re just being Silly you don’t mind just going with Sunshine Boy

hyuck has only gotten redder as the texting went on though what’s his deal 0.0

you agree to take his car !

actually you insist because you don’t wanna drive but, let’s say you agreed

you find out that hyuck exclusively listens to hipster bands and the occasional troye sivan song because we love a gay legend

actually his music taste is ALL OVER THE PLACE but we r still boppin ladies

you roll the windows down even tho it’s Chilly and let your hand float in the breeze until your fingers start getting numb and you pull your hand back in and roll up the window

okay maybe that was a Bad Idea your fingers almost hurt they’re so cold and you’re rubbing the feeling back into them when hyuck clears his throat

you look up at him and he tilts his chin toward the hand he stretched toward you

you’re confused bc like ? i don’t have anything to give u duckie

he sighs anxiously

“just. give me your hand. mine are warm because i didn’t try to be cool and stick my hand out the window like this is a teen coming of age movie”

“have you ever just been nice and not followed it up with a weirdly specific insult”

“nope. now gimme”

you cautiously placed your hand in his and felt heat bloom all over your cheeks and trail up to your ears and down your neck

he gulps and interlocks your fingers and tucks them in the pocket of his hoodie

you have to lean against the console in between you a little so that your arm isn’t strained but it’s,,,,, Warm and Nice

you’re quick to continue the conversation like normal but your voice sometimes goes in and out since he is subconsciously rubbing his thumb over the back of your hand or tapping his fingers against yours

when you arrive you awkwardly pull your hand from his grip to get out of the car and he cringes a lil :(

you decide to be bold for once in your life and run around the car to catch up with him and shove your other hand into his

“this one’s cold too”

he ducks his head and smiles but gives your hand a lil squeeze :3 uwu

eventually though you do have to let go and enjoy your ice cream

you just make small talk with him about the newspaper and whatever homework is due the next day when a man walks in wearing BRIGHT RED CLOWN SHOES

the weirdest part though is the fact that other than the clown shoes the man is dressed like a body builder and has the hulking mass of one

and also there is a PARROT ON HIS SHOULDER ???

you and hyuck whip to face each other and then look back at the man

without looking away you slide your notebook to the middle of the table and flip open to where you’ve bookmarked the next available page

needless to say you both have a field day making up storylines for this man

“hey hyuckie i missed this it’s been forever since it’s been just the two of us and my journal”

“me too, sunshine”

“heY now you’re the sunshine in this relationship”

both of you choke at your use of the term “relationship” but continue with the conversation JSKSK

“alright but then you have to be the rain”

“aw you know i don’t like the rain”

“yes i know that’s why YOU are sunshine”

“kay but you are so much more like sunshine than i, an Emo”

“how bout i be sunshine since you like sunshine and me, and you be rain since i like rain and you”

OOF ????????

you blush for the Millionth Time and nod shyly and duckie is about to turn purple YIKES

you leave the ice cream shop and climb back in the car and the whole atmosphere is very Tense

you sigh because you miss holding his hand and then turn up the song on the radio which just happens to be, Walkin On Sunshine

THE !!! IRONY !!!

you giggle into your hand and he snorts and you both break into laughter

you plug your phone into the aux

“alright time for some Real Tunes”

“i swear to GOD if you play Bad Boy one more time i’m gonna LOSE IT”

“fuck you red velvet are LEGENDS”

“the only reason you know who they are is because mark tells everyone with a pulse that one of them is from canada just like him”

“okay and ??? i can still appreciate that they produce iconic songs only”

“LISTEN I LOVE RED VELVET TOO BUT ENOUGH IS ENOUGH”

you playfully bicker the whole way back and when you get back to the school to pick up your car you realize you never even got to play your song

“for your information, i was in fact NOT going to play bad boy i was going to play the bop of the century, what is love by twice”

and then, with heavy sarcasm

“well gee why didn’t you just sAY SO”

“IM SICK OF YOUR GIRL GROUP SLANDER LEE DONGHYUCK”

then he giggles and grabs your hand to keep you from getting more than halfway out of the car

“okay okay you know i’m just messing with you”

“yes but leave my gorls out of it”

he releases your hand with fake disgust and wipes it on the passenger seat headrest

“ugh go home, gru”

“it’s a good meme and you can’t even deny it duckie boy”

you blow him a half serious half playful kiss as you bounce over to your car and climb in

you play bad boy and roll the windows down as you drive by his car just to spite him and he laughs good naturedly

it’s only when you get home that you’re like heyyyy nOW

WAS THAT A DATE ??????

you tell your mom about it and she’s like uHHH sounds like a DATE to me ???

but you’re Unsure so you don’t say anything to the others or hyuck just the usual goodnight texts and whatnot

although it could be argued ,, that goodnight texts are a little, relationship-y

it could also be argued , that you do have his contact name as , duckie☼♥

but those can be discussed another time

you continue to hang out with the boys although you refuse to allow them to sit with you at football games because they’re so DISTRACTING

jeno and jisung just fckin yell the whole time while you try to jot notes down to turn it into a story later for the paper

but you can’t concentrate or even figure out wtf is goin on because they’re scREAMING and jumping and messing you uP !

so you sent them elsewhere although,,, hyuck stayed with you

he always does “just in case you get cold or smth”

ur not fooling anyone hyuckie baby

and would you look at that time has FLOWN and it’s time for homecoming !!!!

you plan on going in a big group with hyuck and all The Boys and jaemin has even scored a date !!!

it was highkey through trickery but that’s okay

chenle and jisung are gonna wear matching shirts because they’re headass like that

you’ve already bought a dress and you haven’t ….. shown hyuckie……. just in case……… he asks you

since he…… hasn’t …… YET

renjun keeps assuring you that you don’t need to find a date and that everything is covered but ???? inch resting how duckie has done nOT ONE THING

alright the day of the dance you wake up feeling a little off but go through your normal saturday routine of eating a waffle and absentmindedly watching old gossip girl reruns

but later in the day you feel SHITTY

you’re flushed and your head hurts and it takes so much EFFORT just to get up and get a glass of water

you , comrade, are sick :-(

you text in the gm to let your boys know you can’t come

chenle thinks you’re faking until he calls and hears you sniffling and how rough your voice sounds

“hEY THOT I KNOW UR FAKING BC U DONT HAVE A DATE”

“chenle if it didn’t hurt to speak i would yell at u but my eyes are watering please just text me”

“oh,,,,sorry love u”

and then he hangs up real fast lmao

so you decide to just wallow in despair in your bed and rent overpriced movies on demand

there’s a half drank mug of tea that has long gone cold that contains the medicine you’re supposed to be taking but,, you can’t be bothered tbh lifting your hand is so hard

after a few movies and the sun setting there’s knock at the door ???

you barely hear it since you’re in your room with the door closed but /sigh/ you gotta go answer

you drag yourself out of bed and stumble to the front door and open it, immediately slumping against the frame

this whole time you have still not opened your eyes because light hurts a lil and you know your house well enough

in hindsight that was probably dumb considering you don’t know who’s at the door

you try to open your eyes but they only turn half lidded and droopy so you can just barely make out donghyuck looking Concerned on your front porch

“duckie? what are u doing here?”

“uhhh i uh came to take you to homecoming ??”

he then holds up some flowers and smiles awkwardly

“duckie. baby. sunshine. did u not read the texts i sent ? also it is VERY late to be asking me to homecoming. also, i am a little high on cold medication”

“srry princess, can i come in? you look like you need company and soup and possibly some Sarcastic Banter”

“sounds good duck”

“okay duckie was already incorrect please don’t shorten it to duck”

“you know i didn’t have to let you in”

“so what kind of soup do you want? :-)”

he busies himself attempting to make soup while you have melted into a chair at the dining table with one eye cracked open to watch him

he is very obviously Struggling so you wobble to your feet to stand behind him at the stove and maybe lean a little too much into his back to prop your chin up on his shoulder and reach a hand around him to turn the heat down on the stove

you’ve reached the point of I Don’t Give A Shit and have given up on trying not to be affectionate with him you’re too tired and sickly to restrain yourself and his heart is just steadily beating faster and faster

after your soup you drag him into your bedroom to force him to provide you warmth while watching another movie

but he digs his heels into the floor and tugs on your hand to turn you around

“since you’re missing homecoming….. wanna dance?”

“in my bedroom. while i’m dying. with no music.”

“i’ll take care of the music. cmon don’t be difficult”

“i’m not being difficult i’m just-

you’re cut off by him pressing a finger to your lips and going shhhhhh

you open your mouth to curse him out bc hOW DARE HE

but then he gently pulls you by the waist into his chest and does his best to tuck you under his chin

you’re too comfortable like this so you don’t bother admonishing him for earlier and just settle into his embrace

you loop your arms around his neck as he starts to sway you back and forth

after a couple seconds he starts humming, quietly at first and then louder

and then he starts singing and it’s so sO SWEET AND SOFT

you can feel each breath he takes under your hands and the vibrating of his vocal chords against your forehead and you just close your eyes and press closer to him

you’ve literally never been this content in your whole life binch

he is so warm and ever so often smooths a hand up and down your spine whenever you shiver a little or shift in his arms

when the song finishes you keep swaying with him a little while longer

you’re leaning against him so hard that like the majority of your weight is on him yikes

“babe are you asleep”

“mm”

“no?”

“mmm”

“pretty close though?”

“hm”

“alright”

he chuckles and presses a barely there kiss to the top of your head and sort of waddles the two of you over to the bed

you don’t even have to ask him to climb in with you that was The Plan, Stan

(that’s a saying and also i’m calling u a stan wow queen of puns)

as soon as he settles in you tuck yourself under his arm and throw an arm over him to play with the fingers of his other hand

you’ve got the breakfast club on and it’s Real Nap Hours

hyuck’s arm falls asleep pretty soon tho so instead you switch to laying on your sides facing each other with your face pressed into his neck and your arms draped over each other

right before you fade into unconciousness, he tilts his chin down and nudges his nose against yours to get your attention

your eyes flutter open and you look up at him while he smiles gently down at your sleepy expression aWE ???

“hey wanna be my date when you’re not on your death bed?”

“god, what a romantic. is that a shakespeare quote?”

“shut up and say yes”

“alright fine”

“with more enthusiasm!”

“YES!! GOD DAMN IT”

he shakes his head but then leans down to press a lingering kiss against your cheek before tucking you back against him and evening out his breathing

you fall asleep and dream of boys with beautiful voices who love to dance in the rain

a couple hours later you wake up to a forehead smooch and your Boy whispering bye angel

you sit up and whine and he’s like bby i have to go it’s like midnight n my momma wants me home :(((

you pout and he giggles and taps your lips with his index finger

“go back to sleep and i’ll text you something nice to wake up to yeah?”

you nod and grab his hand to kiss it before flopping back down and passing The Fuck Out

the next morning you wake up still feeling a bit shitty but smiling anyways bc you’ve scored the cutest boy in the universe uwu

he even kept his promise and left you a cute message to wake up to ;((((

duckie☼♥: good morning bbg i hope ur feeling better today and that the sun shines all day for u !!!

you: JEKDKDJ DUCKIE IM STILL SICK BUT TAKE ME ON A DATE RN

you: 💗💗💗💕💌💞💞💗😤💖🤧😔💗😔🤧😔🌺💐🌺🌺🌸💐😔💛😔💛💐🤧💐💐💖💖

duckie☼♥: noooo ur gross

you: you ruined it :(((

duckie☼♥: i mean noooo u gotta get better

you: okay :)))

you finally get over your cold like 4 days later and insist you’re fine to be Taken Out And Treated Like A Princess

he tells you to dress warm except gloves bc he wants to hold youR HAND CAN YOU BELIEVE

you’re weirdly not nervous ? like you thought you would be but you’re just excited and very happy !!!! uwu

he picks you up about an hour after school and reveals that he’s gonna take you to all the cafes in town to people watch and write stories which is !!! your favorite activity !!!!!!

“is it lame??? oh god you think it’s lame i’m so sORRY”

“nO!!! no i love it you did good”

“are you sure?”

“yes duckie”

“okay good i mean i knew you’d like it”

“but you just-“

“hm?”

“,,,,, nevermind”

you both hike around town until it gets late and you’re tired and you end up on a bench in the local park with his head in your lap and your fingers in his hair

you lightly scratch his scalp and hum and he practically PURRS like a cat

(furry ????? it’s more likely than you think)

his eyes are closed and you trace your fingers over his features lightly until it tickles and he scrunches up his nose aw bABY !!!!!

then, without opening his eyes

“so when are you gonna man up and kiss me?”

“first of all, i will never man up i prefer being female thanks. sECOND WHY DO I GOTTA DO IT”

“i asked you on the date !!! you gotta do something!!!”

“i held your hand first!!”

“after i literally offered my hand to you”

“uGH fine come here”

“no i’m not gonna ‘come here’ you literally just made a disgusted noise at the thought of kissing me”

“it wasn’t at the thought of kissing you it was just at you”

“this isn’t helping at all”

you roll your eyes playfully and then yank him up by the collar of his shirt to press your forehead against his

“does this help?”

aND THEN YOU LAY ONE ON HIM ??????:$&:&;&;

QUEEN OF CONFIDENCE

he sighs against your lips and sits up a little more so he can reach you better, smoothing a hand up to cup the side of your jaw and neck

you pull away and his eyes are still closed

“hmmm,,, yeah”

you scoff and drop him back to half laying on your lap

“you’re such a dork”

“yeah but i’m your dork now so it’s embarrassing for both of us”

“aw i wouldn’t have it any other way <333”

“is it just me or was that sarcasm”

“just you <3333”

renjun, who has been rOOTING FOR YOU GUYS THIS ENTIRE TIME

screams when you call him that night lol

literally SCREECHES

chenle happens to be with him and screeches eVEN LOUDER

basically the whole group screams simultaneously they’ve been shipping it since day one

hyuck is a bit prideful so when you guys are out in public he’s not super affectionate but ,, when you’re not out

he’s wrapped around you like a koala and will never let go

you have to go pee? hold it

you’re dehydrated and dying? you can live off of his Love

your favorite activity to do together is BAKING because it never goes well no matter how hard you try

and although it usually ends in DISASTER it’s also a good time and afterwards duckie lets you curl up between his legs on the couch and nap uwu !

dating really didn’t change the dynamic between you two other than affection you still read each other to DUST on the regular  lmao

no one gets too harsh tho bc you love each other and whatnot

ugh love ruins all the FUN doesnt it :/

donghyuck makes it his business to know exactly when it will rain and makes sure to be with you when it does

at the first sight of clouds he is in your house with board games and movies and snuggles to distract you !!! what a sweetheart

on days when it’s really bad you just climb into bed and bury your face in his chest while he talks about whatever comes to mind and distracts you

he also takes to slumping down and falling asleep on your shoulder whenever you have movie nights together and it’s so CUTE

his little heart shaped lips and his cheeks always end up smushed and he just looks adorable wow rip you

he’s obsessed with your cheeks he loves to cup your face while he talks to you and press gentle kisses to them during Sleepy Time or when you part ways in the school hallways

if he’s excited he’ll bound up behind you and wrap his arms around you and kiss your cheek real hard and then start babbling about whatever’s got him so worked up

basically, hyuckie is a boy full of sunshine and passion and sarcasm and he’s the best boyfriend you could ever ask for :’-)

[unknowngirl199424-blog]

Pt. 3

Now being the pretty innocent girl i was. I smoked weed very occasionally. Drank every now and then. But that was it really. I smoked cigs. Stupid choice i made at an even more stupid young age. I was 13 when i tried it. 15 when i started smoking every day. (My parents knew, they didn't care) my younger sister had been smoking for years. She partied a lot. Drank a lot. Smoked a lot. Took a lot of pills. Would steal my moms pain pills that she needed from the back surgeries. Mom would run out at the end of the month and would bawl... Literally wail in pain. And it never stopped my sister. I caught her several times. Id get pissed. Ask her wtf she was doing, or why... But she never stopped. I never told... I was drowning in depression. It started when i was 13. After my grandma passed. I changed... She was my world.

My parents partied ALOT!

Used LOTS of drugs...

Ranging from just weed, to coke, to meth...

The first half of my life... From birth till... 14? I think was when they quit all the hard shit for good. They were just... Mom and dad. I mean i loved them, i respected them, but... I didn't have anything to compare it to. It was normal for me to walk in and see light bulbs just randomly on the coffee table.

It was normal for me to wake my sis up in the morning, helping her get dressed, teeth brushed, food in her belly and out the door waiting on the bus. Every day. We lived in the country about 20 miles from town where our friends were. So all we had was each other. In the summer as soon as the sun started to show, 7:00ish. My parents would rush into our room. One would wake up me while the other would wake my sister. Rush us up and to get dressed and outside. We'd be outside alllllllllll day long in the summer in Oklahoma heat. They'd have friends over and lock the doors. We played. Sometimes the friends would bring their kids and we'd run around and play all day. I was a tom boy. I had scarred bloody knees almost daily from wrecking my bike. Would just walk around the property we lived on. Played with our dogs. Pissed off snakes that liked to live in the barn or chicken coop. I ran a lot. BUT IT WAS NORMAL TO ME. They started to quit when i was 12. Then grandma passed. They started again. Didn't stop for good until mom was hurt and dad was fired for pissing dirty for weed, coke, and meth. He was rehired 6 months later. But shit was rough at the time. So after losing my grandma. I went into myself. She loved me, took care of me. Gave me what i wanted and needed. I basically broke. I was never really an over joyous kid. I was raped and molested by my cousin. And so i always carried pain. But grandma was who made me happy. She passed. And from that point in my life from 13 to 18. I cut a lot. I was emotionless most days. But some days I'd break and cry for hours. For the longest time i thought i was depressed because of grandma. But i realized... Depression is a disease. And once you get a good dose of it, it stays. It twists and folds and wiggles its way into every fibre of your being and clings. And bad things that go on add to it and over time, you are eye level deep terrified you're gonna go under soon and no one will notice. Well over the years shit was added. Once I realised i could.... Not feel the pain and sadness... I latched on. Over time the occasional smoking weed went to every day several times a day. Drinking came up for awhile but i hated feeling like shit the next day so i quit. My ex gave me a pain pill one day.

I realised that not only could i get away from the pain and depression, i could feel fucking amazing while doing so. So it started out ya know. Once a week. Just one. To 2 a week to 4 a week to at least 1 every day. When we went up north. Pills were every where. Drugs in general. And i wanted to experience things. We had fun. Went lots of places. Did lots of things. Parties, festivals, fairs, amusement parks, museums, art museums, craft fairs, art stores, book stores, malls, movie theaters.. Just... it was great. I met her friends. They were like her. We partied a lot. I was soley living in the moment for once instead of striving to please everyone else. It was a stupid choice. But it was my choice. Over the years. The fun with it stopped... it became a nessecity. She got shitty and mean sober and i was just as miserable. I wanted happiness not that. Her dad would give us pain pills every day and muscle relaxers. If we did literally anything for him he'd pay us in pills. My ex was also prescribed pain pills too! We'd go through them so quick and then he'd give them to us so we didn't go through withdrawal. By year 3 (2015) I'm 21. I'm working a few months here a few months there. Living the same daily cycle. My day didn't start until pills were thrown down my throat. The habit got bad. I was to a point i was taking fucking handfulls of pills. Daily. And didn't feel ok until then. The few days i didn't have them, i literally slept all day and all night. I was burying my issues with a dark coping mechanism.

I started falling out of love. I left her once last year and we got back together the next day. I told her she couldn't keep stopping me from leaving because it was making me hate her. She wouldnt let go. We stayed together for 4 months. I broke up with her and moved back to oklahoma the beginning of this year. But she was my comfort. Pills were my comfort. After being here for 4 months i let her come back. It was bad. I got back into pills again and one day i told her i didn't want to be with her anyone. She was here for a month at that point. But she wasn't trying to work. She wouldn't do anything. But look for pills. I told her i was done. She gave me some pills. I didn't know what they were but she told me they were for anxiety. And i was really upset. So i took them. We kept arguing. She kept giving me more. My parents stopped by to drop something off, i guess i was wayyyyy out of it. They leave. The fight blows up. I tell her i want her gone. She kept refusing. Idk what happened. It was like a light switch went off. I went to the kitchen and grabbed a steak knife and sliced my wrist up for the first time ever... I only cut my stomach and thighs as a teen. She came around the corner and saw what i was doing and broke a glass vase i had. She ran over and grabbed the blade. Started yanking it from me. I guess we fought over it pretty hard cuz all i remember was it flying across the room and when i got back 6 days later it was soooo bent up.

She kept going and going and i grabbed a piece of glass and cut, she got it away and i just collapsed to the floor. She tried hugging me. I screamed at her for being toxic for me. To not touch me. To just call my mom. My mom shows up. Its like 11:30 at night at this point and she freaks out. My ex starts shit with her. They argue. I scream at them that they needed to stop and mom took me to the er. I guess by that point i was in and out of consciousness. One thing i do remember was seeing an old teacher that i had from yearrrrs ago when i went to a vocational school to become a certified nurse aid. I really looked up to her at 17. Admired her. She was a Dr there in the er. It was humialting. I cried. I guess i pissed in a cup for em or something. I don't remember. But they told my mom (which i didn't find out till almost a week later) that i was overdosing. That all of what i took hadn't caught up and that's why i was talking really crazy and blacking out. I don't remember. But the next morning i wake up. There was a cop sitting next to my bed. 20 mins later im being handcuffed and put in a cruiser and drove over a hr to a phych place. Guess the dr asked me the night before what would happen if i went home and i said i didn't know. So they legally put me there for 5 days so i couldn't be any harm to myself.

5 good things about being put there.

1. I had no access to pills, alcohol, even cigarettes. So i was very very clear headed. The first time in almost 6 years. Had time to think about where tf my life has landed me.

2. I realized how fucking truly bad our relationship was. And came to the conclusion that if we stayed together. One, if not both of us was gonna end up in a casket. Whether it be from pills or not. It was gonna happen.

3. I realized that i deserved wayyyy better. Relationship wise. Life wise. I deserved someone who could push me in the healthy direction. Make positive choices. I felt like instead of maturing, i was still trapped in an 18 yr olds mentality.

4. I ended it. And that time i meant it. There's nothing she could offer me. That would make me go back. Not a million dollars, not a billion, not even all the stars in the sky. I have nothing for her.

5. I met someone who treats me amazing now. Who pushes me. Keeps me away from the shit. I've been pain pill free for 5 months and its staying that way.

And for once... I'm starting to actually feel happy. Genuinely. I was prescribed anti depressants, anti anxiety, and a sleep disorder med. I stopped taking the anti depressants because they made it worse. But im to the point where the good days finally out weigh the bad. And when the bad come, i roll with it.

For the new year. I have a few goals.

1. Continue all the hard work ive put into myself. Keep eating healthy. Keep exercising. Keep pushing myself forward. No more settling for less what what i truly want.

2. Stay tf away from pain pills. 👍 keep fighting that demon in me who whispers how good I would feel or how one wouldn't hurt...

3. Quit smoking cigs. They're killing me. My lungs hurt all the time.

4. Continue bettering my life. I got away from her for 4 months and i had my own home, vehicle, and a high paying easy job. Brought her back for a month, had a suicidal moment. But she's gone and im in a great relationship. And I'm fucking HAPPY!

5. Quit being so fucking hard on myself. I hate the way i look, i hate my body. But they can be changed. Stress over things that need it but relax more. I'm 24. I still have time.

I STILL HAVE FUCKIN TIME

[killerqueenjoy]

99 Question Tag

okay okay I know i got tagged to do this like a month ago on my main blog by @santonicababy iM SORRY LIN ILY BUT THIS WAS SO DAMN LONG

1) DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED

I sleep in the room where everybodies closets are and they all gotta be closed goddamn do you know how spooky it is to even have one open during the night

2) DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS

my parents do, but alas I don't use them in case they have silicones or sulphates in them because I got a whole lotta curls to protect

3)DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT?

if this refers to the sheet protecting the mattress, then my answer is in because how the fuck would you be able to sleep with that moving around???

4) HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE

NO SORRY IM BORING

5)DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST IT NOTES

heck yeah, but for random shit

6) DO YOU EVER CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM

nee my parents are fancy fuckers who use the coupons on their phone (our local supermarket has a damn app skskksksk)

7) WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES

a bear because its one giant son of a bitch and not millions of tiny motherfuckers and also I've never been stung by a bee and intend to keep it that way because majority of my family seem to be allergic

8) DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES

nope! I have a couple beauty spots on my hands and face but thats kinda it

9) DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES

not really but if I've been told to smile then its 200% dead inside

10) WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE

i find many things annoying

11)DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK

only when i go up and down stairs, but i also try to make sure i step with each foot equally (if that makes sense) and i step on only certain colour tiles when im bored

12) HAVE YOU EVER PEED IN THE WOODS

the real question is have i ever been in the woods? both answers are no

13) HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS

refer to question 12

14)ummmm idk what this question is meant to be curse you Lin

15)DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS

nope, the idea weirds me out

16) HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK

none, this week and in general

17) WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED

one person and a long yet smol doggo size

18) WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK

Eddie from the Rocky Horror Picture Show has been stuck in my head for the whole week so yeah i guess that

19)IS IT OKAY FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK

HeLL YEAH DUDE HAVE YOU SEEN RAMI MALEK IN PINK

SKSKSKSKS END MY LIFE

but yeah, anyone can wear anything they want to wear (although a suit made out of meat might not be wise)

20) DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS

dudeeeee scooby doo and tom and jerry are my jam I watch them on the regular (among other things)

21)WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE MOVIE

uhhm idkkkkk I tend to repress bad movies sksksk

22)WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME

idk shove it in the closet ig at least it will be hidden behind my sexuality

23)WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER

I usually only drink before or after but ig water??? cooldrink if I'm in a restaurant

24)WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN

depends on the nug

25)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE FOOD

How dare you assume i only have one favourite

tbh it depends cos i love pizza and pasta and stuff but then i cannot live with my granny's curries ksksmks

26) WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE

borhap, sing street, rhps, the natm movies, the harry potter movies, any mcu movies

27)LAST PERSON YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU

ahhahahahahahha bold of you to assume anyone wants to do that

28) WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT

nope but I was a catrobat which is basically my preschools acrobatics team that was actually really terrible

29)WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE

nahh m8

30) WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER

this week for a transactional task at school (It was in Afrikaans and I got a C skskskks)

31)CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL IN A CAR

omg no

32)EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET

not old enough to drive!

33)EVER RAN OUT OF GAS

my parents never have for as long as i can remember

34)WHATS YOUR FAVOURITE KINDA SANDWHICH

cheese because I am actually John Deacon

35)BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST

MUFFINS!!!!

36)WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME

school nights its 11pm otherwise i dont have one lol

37)ARE YOU LAZY

YES BUT MY LAZINESS MAKES ME ANXIOUS OOF

38)WHEN YOU WERE A KID WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN

we dont celebrate that here but i rly want to it seems fun!

39)WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN

Ram, which is really cool because im an Aries, so I'm sheep squared

40)HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK

English, Afrikaans (at a basic highschool level), I could speak very vERY basic isiZulu when I was younger but I'm not sure about now, I know a bit of French and Telugu, and I'm gonna start learning Hindi soon!!

41) DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS

nee

42) WHICH ARE BETTER, LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS

i didn't play much with legos and i have no idea what the second one is rip

43)ARE YOU STUBBORN

to an extent

44)WHO IS BETTER, LENO OR LETTERMAN

I kept reading Leno as Lenin ffs

45)EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS

I watch them occasionally with my granny, but I don't keep up with them very well (Kasamh Se is my shit tho)

46)ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS

no, im afraid of falling in general tho

47) DO YOU SING IN THE CAR

My dad and I bop frequently to Never Gonna Give You Up in the car, and also classic bollywood songs (we have even learnt the choreography for some)

48)DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER

i perform

49) DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR

well theres not exactly much space

50)EVER USED A GUN

nope

51)LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER

not sure

52)DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY

most are but thats why i like them

53) IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL

we don't celebrate because we're not Christian (we still eat a lot and exchange presents tho), but it can get stressful if we have to visit extended family, mostly because my extended family loves to insult everything about me so thats great!

54)EVER EAT A PIEROGI

not i good sir

55) FAVOURITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE

never had one, it doesnt appeal to me

56) OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID

a vet

57)DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS

i am a ghost

58)EVER HAD A DEJA-VU FEELING

not that i remember

59)DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY

yes, I take a multi vitamin, a vitamin D pill because I'm vitamin D deficient, and im not sure if this is a vitamin or not but i take evening primrose oil so that im not outwardly a bitch due to pms

60)DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS

i wear slipper socks, because my doggo got jealous of my doggie slippers and murdered them in cold blood

61)DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE

i have one and rarely use it because i forget it exists

62)WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED

a random shirt and pants, though ive been known to kick pants off (ive been doing that since birth), occasionally i manage to get the matching pj set

63)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT

ive unfortunately never been to a concert before

64)WALMART TARGET OR KMART

ive never seen any of these stores in my country

65)NIKE OR ADIDAS

i own neither

66) CHEETOS OR FRITOS

neither

67)PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS

Peanuts because thats my doggos name!

68) EVER HEARD OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN

no sorry

69)EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS

i went to a bhangra class for about a year, and we performed for our parents at the end of that year (i was in one of the few groups that didnt have to dance in lehengas thank goodness)

70)IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE

YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING

probably something creative, but I don't mind as long as they're happy with what they're doing and its not harming others!

71)CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE

yep

72)EVER WON A SPELLING BEE

never entered one, having to spell out loud makes me anxious

73)HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY

i think so

74)OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS

nope

75)OWN A RECORD PLAYER

i wish

76)DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE

my granny burns incense while I'm at school because my mom and i both get really sick when its just been lit and the smell is strong. Going to the temple is a damn nightmare because of it

77)EVER BEEN IN LOVE

no, too busy fangirling

78)WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT

oof a long list

Queen, Twenty One Pilots, Waterparks, Frank Iero and the Future Violents (ffs fronk stop changin the name), Panic! at the Disco...to name a few

79)WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW

refer to question 63

80)HOT TEA OR COLD TEA

both

81)TEA OR COFFEE

coffee

82)SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES

sugar cookies

83)CAN YOU SWIM WELL

i wouldn't drown, but im no professional either

84)CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE

im doing it right now

85)ARE YOU PATIENT

eh

86)DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING

I've only ever been to Hindi,Tamil and Telugu weddings and lemme tell you 90% of the time bands flop at those weddings because they can't sing the classics without failing miserably, so DJs are generally better. However, in that case, if a band can perform those songs, then I'd prefer a band ig

87)EVER WON A CONTEST

yep, a couple of reading contests

88)HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY

nope, not planning on it

89)WHICH ARE BETTER, BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES

dont like olives rip

90)CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET

i can knit!

in fact, my friends and i are so cool that we're in our schools knitting club (which besides myself, @grandfunnyemopainter and @imjustabruh , only has 2 other members)

91)BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE

lounge or study/library

92)DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED

i guess, its not on my goal list tho

93)IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED

no

94)WHO WAS YOUR HIGHSCHOOL CRUSH

currently in highschool, and in love with the borhap cast, sebastian stan, stephanie beatriz and band members (theres more but yeah)

95)DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY

nope, i have only two ways to deal, be a total pushover or a total bitch

96)DO YOU HAVE KIDS

nope

97)DO YOU WANT KIDS

kind of undecided, but i do want more pets

98)WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR

Dark Blue

99)DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW

my dog, shes been ignoring me for about four hours now because I stayed at school for an extra hour (for knitting club!)

@softspaceboibrian @roger-taylor-owns-my-wigg @im-inlovewithmycar do it cowards

[anxirinrin]

Awful things ive been told by X so i will never forget bc X sure did

TW: Some stuff are really awful like rape mention and slut shaming and might trigger some people i just needed somewhere to vent

-for my sister's birthday, x made some fries and cream sauce with mushroom (my favorite). I was hungry and everyone kept talking and talking so i snuck out to the kitchen and stole some fries with sauce to put in a sandwich. Turns out they forgot (like every adults) to go grocery shopping and basically i took too much sauce and there was no cream to make some more so i got screamed at bc i was fat and i ate too much and that i should lose all that weight bc otherwise i would get raped by all the boys in highschool with the huge ass i had :). Tbh i still to this day dont understand how did we run out of cream bc rn even tho idont have a car or a driving license i sure damn well go on shopping spree by walking. Unless it was on a sunday and they forgot. Anywaaay

-I actually thought that i was exaggerating that one time but she actually said it again (in front of my sister this time but she sure will never act like she was here) when i told her might not pass my 3rd year of mechanical engineering and that i will probably redo and she told me i better not bc she wants me to stop taking the subway as soon as possible and if i redo a year it will be one more year where ill need to take the subway and if i get raped in the subway it will be my own fault for failing a year and putting myself in danger for one unnecessary year.

-When i had a free semester (i failed my second year lets just say i was still pretty shaken by my dad's death) i wanted to take a job she didnt want me to but she wanted me to take care of the website of her shop. I said i didnt want to bc (she literally asked "would u like to do it???" So i said no) .. i didnt want to deal with her crusty ass annoying clients and running a fb page really isnt my thing so my older sister took care of it. However an order got lost bc it was made on a post in a fb group which deleted our post hence deleting the comments and the order with it. My sister didnt understand what waa going on and then tried to explain to mum and then my mum screamed at her that we basically were making fun of her and taking advantage of the fact she didnt know how to use technology (she is a fb addict she uses it more often in a week than i did for the past 7 years). Anyway my sister got mad cried in her car and while she wasnt here my mum screamed at me telling me everything was my fault bc i refuses to take care of her fb page and that my sister had better things in her life and at work than doing this and that one day something real bad was going to happen to my sister if she gets this upset one more time bc she is asthmatic (and get asthma crisis when she is upset) and that it would be my fault.

-also like a week after my dad died she made a personal mission to tell me daily that in the religious fb group she is someone told her that someone brutally/suddenly dying like my dad was a warning that happen when someone in the house doesnt pray (like me and my sister but somehow im the only one who got this kind of reminder).

-in the same time she like cornered me in the bathroom and she was really depresses after my dad died and i was too and she would end up crying on my shoulder telling me to get fit, study and pray (idk if that was supposed to be an encouragement but it sure was ill-timed 💀)

-when i was in middle school she was CONSTANTLY comparing me to 2 other girls bc they were thing and had good grades (not as good as mine but anyway) the thing that kills me is that both of these girls were bitchy (each in their own way) and she knew it first hand but still she would rather have a slim bitch (as a mean person) of daughter rather than a fat normal one.

-on top of that she would regularly hide the key of the kitchen so i would not eat between my meals which is not the bad thing in this point. She also would never allow me to wear knee-lenght dresses or short (i was allowed to shave anyway soo) for middle to high school all of this while bragging abt the miniskirt she used to wear when she was thirteen. When i talked abt it my sister she was like " but u know mum is not all that picky about clothes she would let u wear anything you want if u were not fat". Again thats not the worst thing yet. The worst thing is when YEARS later we talked abt how/in what way/when did each one of us put on weight and when it came to my turn she went like "no u u were not fat in school it all started when u entered uni" like what??? What????? U called me a cow when i was in middle school and when i hid to cry abt u ran after me and screamed "why are u crying? Just loose some weight!" hysterically and a of this but suddenly u turn around and act like u never thought i was fat????? "We have picture of you this age u were not fat" yeah exactly i wasnt but u don't get to say it bc it will erase all the shit u did. Suddenly i become the crazy one bc if i wasnt fat yet then there was no reason for you to do all of this so obviously i must be imagining things and lying 💀💀💀💀

[franeridart]

Hmmm.. what do you think about the monoma x shinsou ship??

It’s… possibly a good ship? I guess? I’ve seen it around a bit, but ngl I don’t really understand it haha

Anon said: when’s your birthday?

November 13th! It’s still pretty far~

Anon said:you say you like seeing the bakusquad taking care of babies hmmm? draw them maybe? OuO

I did haha

Anon said:Because of your art (you made me fall in love with Bakugou and Kirishima and Kaminari) I started BNHA and got my best friend into it. Now I can’t stop writing them and my friend and I have several AUs already.

This is the best kind of ask omfg !!!!! Glad I could get you into my disaster trio!!! …but also are you maybe gonna share like I’m starved for bakushimanari content a n o n

Anon said:Aw man i was gonna recomend that fic by newamsterdam to you. Like i finished reading it and thought you could like it since you like that other kuroo x teru fic (thanks to you and the anon for that btw) and it seemed your style? Im kinda sad i missed the chance (ok i know this whole ask sounds stupid)

Awwww don’t be sad anon, reccing me bakushima stuff is seriously hard because I might or might not go daily in the ao3 tag to read anything complete that’s been updated and I might or might not be following all fics regularly updating unless they have a character death/angst with no happy ending warning oops - thank you for thinking about me tho!!! That made me happy haha

Anon said:I pestered my friend until he watched (and fell in love with) bnha and now I’m pestering him to look at your blog because your art is top notch and every bnha fan should look at your art imo

Thank??? You???? Holy smokes !!!

Anon said:Aaaaaaa I really love your bakushima art its just so pure and wholesome and makes me really happy when I see it!! ;;u;;

B O I THANK YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:The Uraraka and Bakugou fight!!! !!! !!! Probably my favourite fight in the tournament ahhh just the depth of character from both of them I’m ;; and the “Todoroki isn’t you” line ahhhhhhhhhhh

Haha well my fave is still the bakushima one ngl I’m weak for Bakugou actually having fun, but I feel this!! It’s a great fight and the anime did it so so well too!!!! Can’t wait for next episode tbh aahhhhhhh !!!

Anon said:With the latest chapter, I’m gonna assume Midnight ships the hard bros lmao. But honestly tho, she was me!! I love them!!! It was everything I hoped it to be, the graphics, the focus on their hands, the handshake, thE FREAKING SPARKLES!!!!

It was!!!!!!! Amazing!!!!!!!!!!!! And such a sweet surprise too, I thought I wouldn’t get to see it this episode and YET!!!!! I might have yelled hahaha

Anon said:“Three sets of eyes and still can’t see bakugou” 1000% accurate I’m crying

*wiggle eyebrows*  the pun was calling for me

Anon said:I FLIPPING LOVE YOUR ART SO FRICKING MUCH

AND I LOVE YOU ANON !!!!!!!!!

Anon said:Things that automatically make my day better: seeing a notification that says “franeridart has posted a photo”. I always give a little gasp and go “FRANNY!” Before immediately looking at the picture. Even the ones that aren’t for fandoms I’m in are so super cute!! So long story short I love you and your art k bye

Thank youuuuuuuuuuuuuuu !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You’re so sweet oh my g o s h!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *O*

Anon said:Would it be possible to see any bokuroteru or bakushima art in your rb?

Anon said:The bakushima smooches would look great on a notebook/mug/etc !

I added the smooches!!!! And I mean to go through my bakushima stuff to see what else works!! As for the bokuroteru, is there anything specific you’d like to see? Nothing seems worth it tbh haha rip

Anon said:I just bought a bag and a t-shirt and this shirt will be worn at anime expo in July and I would looooooove it if some of YOYR matsuhana S made it into your shop because I would buy all of them

THANK YOU SO MUCH OH MY G O D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anon said:M'cryin the way young Mirio looked was like a colonial American teen. Also holy shit the character development showing Tamaki’s anxiety and pessimism, and then Mirio being the super supportive friend he is and just ugh everything about this chapter was amazing

IT W AS I love it so much Amajiki’s such a good character honestly and his relationship with Mirio is!!! So good!!!! Also long haired Mirio might have been a nod to his liking rock music actually!! I love it!

Anon said:Do you ever wonder if Mirio is maybe too good and one of these days we’re gonna find out he’s actually a bad egg

…Nah. He’s not the only exceptionally good character after all, Deku, Uraraka and Kirishima are right there with him, and Toshi too! Pure characters are a Thing in bnha, which makes sense since they’re all heroes, it’s their job to be good haha

Anon said:Heeyyy so, I have this dream of owning a bookstore, and was wondering if I commissioned so e work, if you’d be ok with me displaying it in my store? Just you know… hypothetically speaking…

Well, as of now my commissions aren’t open so there’s that. But once I’ll open them then it’ll depend on what exactly you commission me to draw, I guess? I dunno! Once my commissions will be open you can contact me off anon and we can talk about it one on one~

Anon said:What do you think of platonic Tokoyami x Tsuyu dynamic? They work so well together! I think they could be good friends! Also do you ship Tokoyami and Shouji? They earned a place in my heart since the training camp!

I love!!!! TokoTsuyu!!!!! Holy heck!!!! I’ve drawn them together a couple of times, their exam together was really amazing I wish I could see more of them interacting! Also they were my first faves in bnha, so seeing them interact has always been like a treat to me haha also yes to ShoujiYami!! Drew that once as well, they’re so cute~ smallest boy x tallest boy, what a good couple !!

Anon said:Have you ever thought about Tetsutetsu x Kendou? I can’t stop thinking about it since the training camp, I love Kendou so much she’s so awesome and sweet, and Tetsutetsu is amazing and a true hero, and they have such a lovely dynamic!

MY MAIN TETSU SHIP !!!!!!! I drew them once too, I love them so so much they’d make such a good couple honestly I should draw them more

Anon said: I love your Hagakure hc you posted! She’s so lovely, I hope she learns how to make herself visible because I can’t imagine meeting people and knowing no one knows how you look like. She’s probably cool with her quirk now, after so many years, but I’m sure she must get upset sometimes…

My fave thing about Hagakure is that she sometimes acts as if she forgets no one can see her - not even in an angst way, like she complains about Mineta looking in their changing room or stuff like that, I can’t tell if she just genuinely forgets or if she’s so used to being invisible that for her is like being visible anyway???? Either way it’s gonna be fun if and when she’ll learn how to make herself visible! 

Anon said:This latest chapters have me shipping Kirideku a little~~~~ haha. Man, I love their interactions, they are so supporting of each other and so work well together. Its nice seeing Deku interact with someone who doesn’t expects anything of him and who is just a friend

Nah, there’s lotsa people who don’t expect anything from him, Deku’s friends love him a lot~ but yeah his interactions with Kiri are fun, most times it’s just Kiri getting excited and being overly energetic as usual and Deku going “ye-yeah!” with his uncertain face, it’s??? fun??? Seeing the members of the bakusquad interact on friendly terms with the dekusquad is always fun for me exactly for that, Deku’s friends are all so mild compared to Baku’s, you notice the squad’s energy even more like this haha

Anon said:(Waifu2x anon) *gasp!* I’m not worthy!!

You keep me in too high regards, anon haha

Anon said:fran!! i saw your art for todays chapter and promptly died all over again. ive fallen in mirio/amajiki hell and i dont wanna get out. ive also taken to using miriama as their ship name too?? so idk what else people use but!! i just need to scream at you how beautiful your art is and i would buy things from you if you ever opened a shop

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Since posting those doodles I’ve heard MiriAma MiriTama MiriMaki MiriJiki TogaAma and TogaJiki and I love??? All of them???? I don’t know which I’ll end up picking honestly I wonder what the main tag is atm haha is there even art for them? There should be t b h

[marishasscott-blog]

The beginning of the End "o"

This is my story.

August 2016, I had just launched my first business & secured a great career in banking. All was going well. I was working, parenting, working out, flourishing as a young woman making a world for herself and child.

Every week I was teaching twerkout classes alongside my former partner, going to workout boot camps, doing private events, using coconut oil, hair was long, I was skinny, booty was getting bigger, no man problems. I was healthy. I was young. I was growing and flourishing. So I thought. Every week I was also bleeding until no end. I’m thinking yea, here we go again, just my period. Until 14 days later and I’m still playing peek a boo. One week I had gotten really sick and just wasn’t feeling my best. My former partner, who wasn’t the most emotional being, was even concerned so I knew it had to be serious. I remember sitting down on the toilet, during a really heavy cycle of course and when I wiped myself after going to the restroom, I looked on the handful of toilet paper and it was the biggest clot of blood I’d ever ever seen in all my years of wiping myself during my cycle. I panicked. I texted my former partner and one of my best friends Brittany Hart (who by the way makes any type of cake you could imagine and they taste amazing considering cake is all I could just about eat at this point <—– shameless plug ) at the same time telling them about the clot. All three of us are freaking out like OMG! We all immediately get on google and the first thing that pops up is miscarriage **stale face**. I’d only been dating my then boyfriend for like a month BARELY and he was on his way out the door, I immediately apologized to God for not making the best life decisions in men and then realized at that point, I HAD to go to the doctor. I hate the doctor. They just get too personal — much like this tea I’m spilling.

I made the doctors appointment and I go. As the doctor is all up in my grill, by that I mean I’m sure his whole hand was in my vagina while pressing on my already enlarged uterus **face palm**. He lets out a small sigh, “My dear, I believe you are pregnant”. I looked in disbelief. There’s only one way this could have happened. The doctor wasn’t sure, but was sure. He gave me some prenatal vitamins (I kept in my trunk because I didn’t want my mom to know) and told me to come back next week to get the results of the blood work and to go next door and get an ultrasound. When I went next door, I was expecting to see a baby. Yep. Nope. So I got confused. With my son, they couldn’t find him either so I was like great. This is happening all over again. The tech took pictures of nothing (so I thought) because my uterus was seemingly empty and I went home. Brittany was on my tail like tell me tell me tell me. I regretfully told her what the doctor said and she was like, “what are you going to do with two babies? Are you ready for that!?”

A week goes by. Yes I had been sneaking and taking the prenatal vitamins just in case. I have my follow up appointment. Where I thought my life was about to change because of one reason, a totally different one ensued. The doctor explained to me that my left reproductive side was completely destroyed. It was full of clusters of ovarian cysts, infection, my Fallopian tube was so enlarged because of all the infection trapped around it and the only thing he could do was remove it. And soon. I asked how soon (by this time it was September) and he said as soon as he could find an open surgery day. His next date was September 21 ! It had to be like the 11th already. Two weeks!

I had never had any major surgery before. Especially not one where he had to open me up right below my abdomen from side to side, the scar I still have to prove I’m a ninja warrior ! I was nervous! I was also excited that my problem would be solved. Ha! Pinned ya again!

Sept. 21 came and before I knew it I was in the recovery room. I was cured!!!!!!! I was noooottttttttt *sad face*

My doctor told me while performing the surgery, where he had already removed half of my baby factory, he found ENDOMETRIOSIS. I already knew OF it because of a friend who “mentioned” having it (in college I wasn’t worried about someone cramping, doubled over in pain because of her period – I now know) and because a family member has it as well. My OBGYN told me, its bad. It’s nothing I can do besides put you on a treatment called Lupron. I had NO more choices. Even with the Oophorectomy (removing ½ of my baby factory not that I had anyone to reproduce with) he said it was NOTHING he could do.

I was off work about 8-11 weeks recovering and I progressively got worse. I remember crying to my mom, standing in the shower screaming, I JUST DON’T FEEL GOOD! I could see the discomfort in my moms eyes, for she too had dealt with this and knew this was something I’d have to figure out on my own. It wasn’t like she could open up my scar and climb in there and massage my insides or have an Indian styled come to Jesus meeting with my hormones to tell them to leave me alone! I felt like I had been chopped open for nothing. I was still sick !

During the recovery and “getting used to” period, I was still trying to work and parent and I transitioned to Nashville for a job in what I thought was my career. Banking. I kept getting sick. I kept bleeding. January rolls around and I know I was in bed the whole month. I found a new OBGYN and asked a second opinion about the Lupron. She then told me first, she wanted to do ANOTHER surgery. To actually remove as much Endo as she could. Here we go again. Through call outs, pain killers, doctors appts, I made it through to February (the next available) and went under the knife AGAIN! In all I have 5 scars and I still have the endometriosis. That recovery from the laparoscopic surgery was the WORST! And I STILL have the endometriosis.

After the recovery, the Lupron was ordered. I was told it can go two ways. Either it helps and no symptoms or it can help and make you feel the worst you’ve ever felt in your life. I guess you can decipher between the two and figure which side of the spectrum I’m on. Blah. I’ve been on treatment for 4 out of 6 months and it’s been the hardest of my life. I can’t work. I’m always sick. I’m always moody. I’m always crying. I’m always hungry but I’m limited to only eating air if I don’t want a flare up. I’m always dissatisfied with weight. I’m always tired. Im always hot and having a hot flash. Im always telling people I’ll call them back. I’m always taking medicine. Im always calling the doctor. I’m always always always! Lupron is a form of chemo. So only imagine how strong this medicine is. Everyone says “IDK why u out yourself through that”, “That’s why I can’t take medicine”, “I wouldn’t do that to myself”. Well, when it’s the only option besides ANOTHER surgery, I can only pray and take my chances. Endometriosis has stopped me from doing everything. I’m literally a living vegetable. Ironic ! It’s too late to turn back now and too early to tell if I’ll ever be normal (one of my daily prayers) again, so I’m stuck in the middle. Only way to know if it works is to keep following my journey with me as I keep torturing myself each month with treatment ! *fingers crossed* And before you say it, yes I’ve tried natural self care remedies.. natural isn’t always the answer. Especially at stage IV (4).

Endometriosis is more than a period. It’s a disability. You can’t look at someone and tell they have Endo, but you can have more compassion for them when they are “just cramping”. My journey is far from over, and it’s a struggle I deal with by the minute ! It will get better !

My name is Marisha, and I have Endometriosis.

[batsysims]

100 QUESTIONS NO ONE ASKS

I was tagged by @tickledsims ty ily!!

1. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR CLOSET DOORS OPEN OR CLOSED? CLOSED when i was younger my little sister had a baby doll that would talk on its own at night and we called it the demon baby and hooooly shit

2. DO YOU TAKE THE SHAMPOOS AND CONDITIONER BOTTLES FROM HOTELS? i dont take those bc my hair cant take cheap hair products but i do take the soaps!!

3. DO YOU SLEEP WITH YOUR SHEETS TUCKED IN OR OUT? i put the mattress cover sheet thingy on my bed but i dont use an actual sheet :/

4. HAVE YOU STOLEN A STREET SIGN BEFORE? nah lol

5. DO YOU LIKE TO USE POST-IT NOTES? YES i love using office supplies i could spend all day at staples omg

6. DO YOU CUT OUT COUPONS BUT THEN NEVER USE THEM? no lol but il save the lil receipt coupons and find them in my wallet months after they expire

7. WOULD YOU RATHER BE ATTACKED BY A BIG BEAR OR A SWARM OF BEES? hhhhh bees

8. DO YOU HAVE FRECKLES? yep!! i love them its why im scared to use foundation i dont wanna lose em

9. DO YOU ALWAYS SMILE FOR PICTURES? i either smile or if my moms takin the pic il make a stupid face 

10. WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST PET PEEVE? i have terrible road rage...... um........... i also hate it when men interrupt me i just walk away at that point 

11. DO YOU EVER COUNT YOUR STEPS WHEN YOU WALK? yeah i pretty much count everything

12. HAVE YOU PEED IN THE WOODS? i dont think so??

13. HAVE YOU EVER POOPED IN THE WOODS? def not lmao

14. DO YOU EVER DANCE EVEN IF THERES NO MUSIC PLAYING? i have an eating dance, a drinking dance, and a video game playing dance hahaa

15. DO YOU CHEW YOUR PENS AND PENCILS? yes ugh it annoys me but i cant stop

16. HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH THIS WEEK? at LEAST 0

17. WHAT SIZE IS YOUR BED? i think its a single? a single or a twin either way im miserable send help

18. WHAT IS YOUR SONG OF THE WEEK? ummm probably You by Weird Milk?? its the most recent song i added on spotify so  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

19. IS IT OK FOR GUYS TO WEAR PINK? yeah def unless its one of those “real men wear pink shirts” like just.... stop

20. DO YOU STILL WATCH CARTOONS? sometimes my sister makes me watch stevens universe?? il watch phineas and ferb too bc honestly who doesnt anime too but not always cartoon ones or w/e

21. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVORITE MOVIE? 2001: A Space Odyssey and Daughters of the Dust come to mind

22. WHERE WOULD YOU BURY HIDDEN TREASURE IF YOU HAD SOME? u kno where ;) no how big is the treasure?? if its a lil bit id put it in that drawer under the oven bc my family never uses that but if its BIG TREASURE id hide it in the backyard of the last house i lived in bc a. nobody lives there now and 2. its totally overrun with green bc of like two floods

23. WHAT DO YOU DRINK WITH DINNER? water! only water ever

24. WHAT DO YOU DIP A CHICKEN NUGGET IN? honey if theyre mcnuggets but other than that i use honey mustard!

25. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? chicky parm

26. WHAT MOVIES COULD YOU WATCH OVER AND OVER AGAIN AND STILL LOVE? honestly Inception is my feel-good movie

27. LAST PERSON, YOU KISSED/KISSED YOU? a lil babu

28. WERE YOU EVER A BOY/GIRL SCOUT? i was in girl scouts much longer than i ever wanted to be lmao WISH i coulda done BOY SCOUTS

29. WOULD YOU EVER STRIP OR POSE NUDE IN A MAGAZINE? if cash is involved absolutely

30. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU WROTE A LETTER TO SOMEONE ON PAPER? aboutttt three months ago!

31. CAN YOU CHANGE THE OIL ON A CAR? no but i can watch

32. EVER GOTTEN A SPEEDING TICKET? when i first got my license yea :( 15 yr olds are dum

33. EVER RAN OUT OF GAS? twice! very good memories

34. WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE KIND OF SANDWICH? egg salad gud

35. BEST THING TO EAT FOR BREAKFAST? the all star breakfast at waffle house yasssss

36. WHAT IS YOUR USUAL BEDTIME? honestly like 9 since i always have to wake up at 7 in the am but il stay up til 11 if i can

37. ARE YOU LAZY? absolutely when have ACTIVE ppl done ANYTHING

38. WHEN YOU WERE A KID, WHAT DID YOU DRESS UP AS FOR HALLOWEEN? i was usually a cat bc i never could find a costume i liked smh but when i was 2 i went as winnie the pooh lmao

39. WHAT IS YOUR CHINESE ASTROLOGICAL SIGN? ox!

40. HOW MANY LANGUAGES CAN YOU SPEAK? just english but im tryna learn spanish and japanese and im fluent in french if a two year olds speech patterns can be considered as such

41. DO YOU HAVE ANY MAGAZINE SUBSCRIPTIONS? nah

42. WHICH ARE BETTER: LEGOS OR LINCOLN LOGS? LEGOS lincoln logs are big with nostalgia thoooo

43. ARE YOU STUBBORN? with dumb shit yeah but i usually just dont care enough abt stuff to deal

44. WHO IS BETTER: LENO OR LETTERMAN? theyre both old idc

45. EVER WATCH SOAP OPERAS? no lol

46. ARE YOU AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? not really tbh i like the adrenaline

47. DO YOU SING IN THE CAR? if im alone!! nobody deserves to hear that

48. DO YOU SING IN THE SHOWER? nahhh

49. DO YOU DANCE IN THE CAR? when im in the drive thru haaaa

50. EVER USED A GUN? id like to go to a shooting range some time but ive never used one im also very anti gun so i probs would never buy one unless it was a cute lil glock i can handle well

51. LAST TIME YOU GOT A PORTRAIT TAKEN BY A PHOTOGRAPHER? st patricks day it wasnt technically for me tho

52. DO YOU THINK MUSICALS ARE CHEESY? not in general but when ppl start obsessing over a certain one for months on end abt a certain time period and certain performers and certain songs and certain people of history i start wanting ppl to die

53. IS CHRISTMAS STRESSFUL? YEAH I NEVER HAVE MONEY WTF

54. EVER EAT A PIEROGI? my sisters obsessed with them so yea but never like. authentic polish potato pockets or anything just a frozen box of em

55. FAVORITE TYPE OF FRUIT PIE? apple?? im not rly into pie tbh

56. OCCUPATIONS YOU WANTED TO BE WHEN YOU WERE A KID? ive wanted to go into law enforcement/criminology my whole life!! for a sec i wanted to be a firefighter, a journalist/writer/poet, and some sort of artist but u know how kids are

57. DO YOU BELIEVE IN GHOSTS? i tried to find that clip from malcolm in the middle for like ten mins but i couldnt yea

58. EVER HAVE A DEJA-VU FEELING? doesnt everyone tho?

59. DO YOU TAKE A VITAMIN DAILY? no im a bad adult

60. DO YOU WEAR SLIPPERS? nah

61. DO YOU WEAR A BATH ROBE? im not rich!!

62. WHAT DO YOU WEAR TO BED? usually just my undies but when im living with other people il wear a soft shirt and my dc heroes pajama bottoms ayyy

63. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CONCERT? ive never been to one! i was gonna go see metallica in baltimore but i moved before i could smh

64. WALMART, TARGET, OR KMART? walmart sry targets cool but too much money!!! i go there for home things tho does kmart still exist

65. NIKE OR ADIDAS? ADIDAS ive been trying to get a full adidas tracksuit for YEARS

66. CHEETOS OR FRITOS? fritos! i like the super hot cheetos tho

67. PEANUTS OR SUNFLOWER SEEDS? peanutsssss

68. EVER HEAR OF THE GROUP TRES BIEN? Nope but they must be good im keepin @tickledsims response bc it made me laugh

69. EVER TAKE DANCE LESSONS? when i was a lil babu i took ballet and gymnastics a lil later

70. IS THERE A PROFESSION YOU PICTURE YOUR FUTURE SPOUSE DOING? i hope to never have a spouse  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

71. CAN YOU CURL YOUR TONGUE? yep

72. EVER WON A SPELLING BEE? ive actually never even had a spelling bee im sure theyre a myth

73. HAVE YOU EVER CRIED BECAUSE YOU WERE SO HAPPY? i think so??

74. OWN ANY RECORD ALBUMS? nah

75. OWN A RECORD PLAYER? nahhhhh

76. DO YOU REGULARLY BURN INCENSE? no but i had a roommate who did i fell in love

77. EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yeah ok lol so one time when i was a sophomore my french teacher had to use a substitute teacher and hes the reason i believe in love at first sight im STILL in love with him wtf ive also had a bf haha im hilarious

78. WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE IN CONCERT? i dont really do concerts so i couldnt say but i think matd would be fun!!

79. WHAT WAS THE LAST CONCERT YOU SAW? oh my god

80. HOT TEA OR COLD TEA? hot!!!!

81. TEA OR COFFEE? coffee!!!!!!

82. SUGAR COOKIES OR SNICKERDOODLES? i dont rly like either but i prefer snickerdoodles over sugar

83. CAN YOU SWIM WELL? i can only do that weird frog swim i forget what its called so no im shit at it

84. CAN YOU HOLD YOUR BREATH WITHOUT HOLDING YOUR NOSE? ye

85. ARE YOU PATIENT? if im able to distract myself?? it also depends on the severity of what im waiting on i guess

86. DJ OR BAND AT A WEDDING? probs a band i guess i dont rly think abt that kinda stuff sry

87. EVER WON A CONTEST? when i was four i won a coloring contest at the ice cream store

88. HAVE YOU EVER HAD PLASTIC SURGERY? nope im poor 89. WHICH ARE BETTER: BLACK OR GREEN OLIVES? both are good!

90. CAN YOU KNIT OR CROCHET? i can knit but i cant crochet

91. BEST ROOM FOR A FIREPLACE? fckn bathroom

92. DO YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED? not rly unless its a partnership longlasting romance stresses me out especially with financial responsibility etc

93. IF MARRIED, HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN MARRIED? -20 years

94. WHO WAS YOUR HIGH SCHOOL CRUSH? my high school boyfriend hahaaa h,,,,

95. DO YOU CRY AND THROW A FIT UNTIL YOU GET YOUR OWN WAY? im an adult sry

96. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? 1!

97. DO YOU WANT KIDS? nope! lmao i love her tho

98. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR? red but i also like many others??? idk

99. DO YOU MISS ANYONE RIGHT NOW? ummm not rly?? im not close enough to anyone to miss them and those i am close to im able to hang with

100. WHO ARE YOU GOING TO TAG TO DO THIS TAG NEXT? god uhhh if you havent done it already and want to, @dreambot @nebula-simms @ellowynsims and @pixelbloom

[onlylovekpop]

I’m Back!

Hello, everyone. Sorry I’ve been MIA for a little while. The past few weeks have been a little hectic for me. I’m closing drabble requests now and have received lots of good ideas. Thank you to all of those who submitted! Also, two of the requests have turned into oneshots (this is a rare thing, but sometimes I get carried away and it happens lol.) The oneshots will be a pirate!au with some smut for Jimin and a dance camp smut with Yugyeom. I’m also finishing up my first Jungkook smut oneshot that I started working on ages ago and involves Netflix and chill. Hehe. Hope you’re all doing well and please look forward to the upcoming drabbles and oneshots! :)

(replies below the cut beware im drinking vodka while i answer to make my responses more interesting hehe (actually im getting as drunk as i can to deal with my vengeful uterus which is very unhappy i have not conceived any spawn this month and is giving me cramps from hell) you may notice my spelling grammar and punctuation get worse as you read please dont hold it against me)

anonymous asked: Hi Leigh we haven't heard of you since you mentioned having knee surgery the next day and I had this really bad feeling I hope you are ok? For some reason I am genuinely concerned and I don't know why so I hope everything went well??

Yes, all is well! I healed in pretty good time and am already out and about again. It’s a surgery I’ve had before so I knew what to expect and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Thank you for checking on me. Sorry if I made you worry :)

omg-mystarx-neoctech asked: Hell YES JOOHEON.

I SAY THIS ON A DAILY BASIS!

anonymous asked: Can I just say I fucking love the layout and look of your blog. Also I just read one of your smuts and holy shit im deceased.

Thank you! I’ve been revamping some of the pages but I only have a few of them done, so a few things may be blank at the moment. I changed it so fics are listed by member instead of type I hope that’s better but if anyone has opinions on the layout please let me know :)

anonymous asked: OKAY BUT THAT JOOHEON SMUT WAS FUCKING DELICIOUSLY SINFUL. I'M HAVING HEART PROBLEMS.

Jooheon himself is deliciously sinful tbh. I have heart palpitations every time I see a pic of him wearing tight pants. Or just pants in general. i aint never seen such pretty thighs before

neon-flamingos asked: I read Rhythm and omg i criedddddd it was so good i just can imagine Jooheon saying all those dirty thingssss my vayjayjay cries

look i recently saw that vid of him speaking english and his accent is so good which means i can totally hear him in my head saying all them naughty english things this is not good what have i done my lady parts also cry HELP

anonymous asked: Everyone is talking about the Jooheon smut and I'm here still crying because of how hard Chained up hit me

oh god that was not my best work but im glad you enjoyed it the thing never got edited i hope its not a hot mess haha sorry markiepooh but it still got the job done i think hehehe

anonymous asked: A part of me regrets reading Underworld AF....but it was such a good read too... that last chapter HURT but it was a good hurt

oh no dont regret reading it! that makes me sad! its a long ass fic i dont want you to get to the end of it and think holy shit i wasted so much time reading that horror flick i tried to bring it full circle in the end im glad you thought it was a good read i panicked for a second haha

honeyheonie asked: HOLY FUCK!!!! I have sinned. 'Rythm' was 👌👌👌👌👌

me too darling ;) thank ya

anonymous asked: Do you have a quote or prompt list we could use? :)

i do not. i leave it up to you guys that way you have lots to choose from

topaz-and-turquoise asked: For some reason, I only just got to binge-read the last 3 chapters of Underworld. Leigh. LEIGH. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF BTS-GOT7 CROSSOVERS. YOU ARE THE QUEEN OF CROSSOVERS. THE QUEEN OF ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE AU'S. OF ALL AU'S. YOU ARE THE BEST AT WRITING TENSION AND HEART-WRENCHING SCENES AND THE COMPLEXITY OF PEOPLE AND JUST HOLY FRICK YOU'RE AMAZING. THANK YOU FOR THIS. I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW BUT THIS IS MY FAVOURITE KPOP FANFIC OF ALL TIME. I'M SAD IT'S OVER BUT I'M SO SATISFIED. YOU ARE THE BEST.

she calls ME QUEEN! thank you thank you I SQUEAL A LOT AT THIS im actually sad its over too. but im content with it. I HOPE IT IS FOREVER YOUR FAVE you stuck with me through the whole thing thank you i love you

statetheobvious04 asked: I've long been a follower for your underworld series and Jesus christ it's one of the best series of read ever. The storyline was so gripping and full of love and loss that by the time I finished the last chapter my chest was heavy and I nearly cried. Idk how you did it but I feel like I've personally lived through minas insane and perilous journey and felt every single emotion as if it were my own. It's een a while since I've read the earlier chapters but I feel like if I do il start 1/2 2/2 sobbing. You are such an amazing and talented writer that this story deserves to be developed into a book or movie but eve then those may not do it justice. But honestly, thank you so much for sharing and writing. And I’m so happy mina finally got the life she deserves and that everyone else managed to find peace in Iceland 💜💜💜💜

THIS MAKES ME HAPPPY YOU DONT UNDERSTAND HOW CAN I DESCRIBE MY JOY AT THIS MESSAGE you make me cry thank you for loving mina and thank you for supporting the story and thank you for telling me how it felt to read it i love you <3

anonymous asked: hi leigh! I have a question. I hope it doesn't come across the wrong way, I'm just curious! May I ask why you're not taking exo requests?

you’re good honey :) honestly im just not in an exo mood at the moment. i still write for them i still even have a baekhyun oneshot in my drafts idk im just not feeling like writing for them for drabbles at the moment if that makes sense

anonymous asked: Do you still open the drabble request?

they are closed now.

anonymous asked: I'm a Yoongi at heart but your story Underworld made my heart 'boom boom'. Seriously this is the best mafia /zombie apocalypse AU I have ever read and I read a lot of fan fiction. Keep up the good work. PS: Some drabbles based on Underworld wouldn't hurt. PSS: If you don't understand the heart boom boom reference , go see the latest Buzzfeed interview of BTS.

i can’t help but only hear got7′s boom boom boom though haha im down for underworld drabbles i think i mentioned before that any gang!au drabbles i do will be in the underworld universe before the zombie outbreak so far i only have the one for bambam i would link it but im too tipsy for something that level right now sorry :D

anonymous asked: I fucking love your angst writings, they get me emotional aha

thank you i love angst i like toying with emotions ehehe

anonymous asked: Underworld is amazing!!! One of the best stories I've read, even though it has me crying from Paris all the way to the end.😭😭😭😭 You done good. 😁

we dont talk about paris haha jk that one hurt too much thank you darling that its one of the best you’ve read means the world to me :)

anonymous asked: How can you write like thattttt!!!! I adore you. I'll always be your follower 💖

AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUU and i’ll always be here! i promise <3

anonymous asked: Who is that in your header gif?

It’s Suga :)

thewriterpixie asked: *squeals* I just finished reading the Suga father/daughter date drabble! It made my day!

Thank you! I love that one so much :)

anonymous asked:  Okay I was reading Wake Up and Play with Me and for some reason it reminded me of their song Paradise?¿¿ Now whenever I hear it I'm gonna associate it with this smut xD

Ooh i like the sound of that! i really love Paradise but I think Sign is my favorite on the album but how do you get your question marks upside down i thought the room was spinning for a second i kid you not lol

anonymous asked: Your Jooheon smut got me looking at Jooheony at a different way now 😏 thank you for writing such a quality one shot! You're one of the best of the best!

YAS come to the jooheon side we have thick thighs and adorable dimples you will not regret this ;)

taecmekai asked: hope you are ok and recovering well from your knee surgery :)

i’m okay! gained a few pounds from being stuck on the couch for a few days but idgaf hehe ;) i’ll get back to yoga when i feel like it

coppertopging asked: I just finished Underworld. holy crap the emotional coaster you took me on! I read the last 7 chaps today & i couldn't stop crying. I didn't when Jae died, but his 'funeral' got me with the reactions from everyone. & then Hobi?! That was the most painful. I had to stop & pull myself together. Yoongi made me laugh a little with his delivery. My favorite part of the ending was the Jk/Yugy part. The only thing I felt was missing was more detail into Namjoon & Jin. But this story was amazing!!!

yeah hoseok was the hardest for me too. i wanted to keep anything namjin related kinda vague and open to the reader’s interpretation that’s why there wasn’t much material there but im very glad you enjoyed the story thank you :)

anonymous asked: holy fucking shit. it's 4am and i just finished reading Underworld and i'm crying so hard there's so many emotions i'm feeling. thank you so much for that masterpiece. it's the first work of yours i've read and omfg you're talented as fuck. i'm actually a bit speechless still tbh it's only fully processing to me ...hobi... he's not even my bias but i'm crying so hard i need help wow SO MUCH LOVE FOR U AND UR WRITING THO

omg i cant believe you stayed up that late to read it i wish i could do that but in my old age i dont bounce back that well anymore (i just turned 27 and am very upset about it) anyway THANK YOU this makes me very happy

danphilandstuff asked: OH MY FUCKING GOD RHYTHM WAS SO FUCKING GOOD THANK YOU SO MUCH ITS ACTUALLY HOW I IMAGINED HIM TO BE IT FELT SO REAL IT WAS ACTUALLY THE BEST FANFIC IVE EVER READ IM CURRENTLY READING YOUR MASTER LIST. you're actually such an amazing writer thank you so much (Could I request more Jooheon fics? ((If you want and have time)) )

i will never stop writing jooheon fics. you have nothing to worry about there haha. WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS THE BEST FANFIC YOUVE READ IT WAS SUCH A RAUNCHY SEX FEST I SHOULD BE ASHAMED lol just kidding no but in all seriousness THANK YOU I LOVE YOU IM GLAD YOU LOVED IT I HOPE YOU KEEP COMING BACK FOR MORE MUHAHA

anonymous asked: (1/3) Hey lovely! I came across your blog today after reading your monsta x all in one shot and i just wanted to say thank you for writing something so incredible! it had me gripped from start to finish and it was honestly one of the most (2/3) well-written pieces ive ever read, I would love to be able to write at your standard one day. I cant express how grateful i am, it put me through so many emotions and i actually had tears in my eyes at one point! So yeah, apologies for this (3/3) being so long but i just wanted to express my gratitude and say that you are an amazing writer :) x

oh my goodness this was ridiculously lovely. i am very proud of All In and how it turned out. i hope to finish the sequel soon. i keep getting writers block on it and i dont know why but anyway. thank you for sending me this and im thrilled that i could write something you enjoy very much. you are too kind thank you <3

[msf-diamond-dog]

Same for you, all of them!

(1) Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

Closed, but not really for any reason.

(2) Do You Have Freckles?

Very vaguely, yes.

(3) Can You Whistle?

No, I’ve stopped trying to learn. I cant do it.

(4) Last Song You Listened To.

Full Power by AC Slater

(5) What Is Your Favourite Colour?

Pretty much and darkish or vibrant blue.

(6) Relationship Status.

Single :C

(7) What Is The Temperature Right Now?

 102 F

(8) Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Nope, I dont think I ever wake up cranky.

(9) How Many Followers?

I dont even know.  Half of them are pornbots.

(10) Zodiac Sign.

Gemini

(11) What Is Your Eye Colour?

Brown!

(12) Take A Vitamin Daily?

Do Monsters count

(13) Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yeppers

(14) What Books Are You Reading?

The Last Wish by Andrzej Sapkowski

(15) Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“...somewhat entertaining.”

(16) Favourite Anime?

HmhmH... Probably FMA.

(17) Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

Probably my sister. I honestly dont even remember the last time I cried. 

(18) Do You Collect Anything?

Toys and games!

(19) What Did You Have For Lunch?

Nothing

(20) Do You Dance In The Car?

Nah

(21) Favourite Animal?

DOGGOS

(22) Do You Watch The Olympics?

Nah

(23) What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Probably around 1 or 2am.

(24) Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

I am not. My sister wanted me to put on mascara today though so we shall see.

(25) Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

OCEAN

(26) Favourite Tumblr Blog?

Honestly just all my friends blogs

(27) Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

Bottled, sadly. The water here tastes horrible. Like drinking a swimming pool.

(28) What Makes You Happy?

Music, people.

(29) Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

I dont have any gifs D:

(30) Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

I study better without it but Im not gonna turn it off.

(31) Dogs Or Cats?

Dogs

(32) If You Were A Crayon What Colour Would You Be?

That shitty gray one that no one uses but it somehow is all dull with the paper all ripped up and it has like a bunch of other colors smashed into the ends

(33) PlayStation Or Xbox.

Playstation!

(34) Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Ocean,

(35) Do You Believe In Magic?

Nah

(36) What Colour Shirt Are You Wearing?

A gray Fallout shirt

(37) Can You Curl Your Tongue

Yep

(38) Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

Both

(39) Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yeah, some headphones

(40) Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

No not really.  Nothing new, anyways.

(41) Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

Nah, I leave them alone. 

(42)Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

I used to be but Im not anymore. 

(43) Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Yeah...I only remember bits and pieces of them though

(44)Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

Ive never been on one before

(45) Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

A movie has never made me cry before

(46) Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds

(47) If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

ZAO and Im gonna see them soon.

(48) Are You A Picky Eater?

Not at all.

(49) Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Depends on how well my meds work that night

(50) Do You Fear Thunder / Lightning?

Hells no, I love it

(51) Do You Like To Read / Write?

I love to read but Im not a writer.

(52) Do You Like Your Music Loud?

YEAH

(53) Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Carve pumpkins.  Im not good at wrapping presents and Ive never carved one before.

(54) Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

I Am the Best by 2NE1 (HA)

(55) What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Summer

(56)What Are You Craving Right Now?

Affection, quite honestly.

(57) Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

Its just a picture of like 6 golden retrievers

(58) What Is Your Gender?

Male

(59) Coffee Or Tea?

I dont know.  I like them both the same.

(60) Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

No homework.  Last day of break. :C

(61) What Is Your Sexuality?

Straight

(62) Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

Naw.

(63) Favourite Pokemon?

Cubone and Haunter!

(64) Favourite Social Media?

Tumblr.

(65) What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

I dont give a shit?

(66) Do You Get Homesick?

Sometimes. Not often though.

(67) Are You A Virgin?

Yeppers

(68) What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Dove

(69) If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

Depends on where I am.  If its a shady place Id take the hotel. If its decently safe Id sleep in my car.

(70) Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yep!

(71) Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Deadpool 2

(72) Do You Miss Your Ex?

I dont have an ex.

(73) What Is Your Favourite Quote Right Now?

“If you’re scared to do it, then do it scared”

(74) What Eye Colour Do You Find Sexiest?

I think all eyes are fucking gorgeous but my favorite has dark brown 

(75) Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Swinging is the SHIT.

(76) What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

I havent eaten anything today sooo idk.

(77) What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Blendoku 2 (my favorite) and Random Heroes 3

(78) Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Yeah, why does it matter if theyre homeless?

(79) Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

Yeah

(80) Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

Nah

(81) Do You Like Meeting New People?

Yes and no? I like learning about people but I dont like the interaction part.

(82) Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

No rings

(83) Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Unless its really hot, I sleep with it closed.

(84) What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Woke up, cleaned a bit, played some games.

(85) What Do You Wear To Bed?

Shorts and a tshirt

(86) List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

I dont have any.

(87) Are You A Day Or Night Person?

NIGHT

(88) List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

Fuckin hell, I have too many to list here. 

(89) Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

One of my favorite dreams was I was working in a dollar store, and like 4 guys with guns ran in and were like robbing the place and I just looked at them and said “why the fuck would you rob a dollar store?” and they just look at me for a few seconds and then shot me. I had it a few years ago.

(90) Favourite Soda Drink?

Dr, Pepper

(91) What Sounds Are Your Favourite?

Pretty much and percussion/clicky noise.

(92) Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans.  I dont even have a pair of sweats.

(93) How Do You Look Right Now?

Shitty like usual

(94) Name Something That Relaxes You.

Music

(95) What Tattoo Do You Want?

First one Im getting is a Maximal insignia.

(96) Favourite YouTuber?

Idk man.

Thank you Jana! C:

[wolf-skins]

anyways join my friend & i in angsty theories for the LiS prequel. this is what we have:

@quasiplatonickarinhina: The sound that came out of my mouth wasn't human

me (wolf-skins): IRHGT i hope we can play as chloe like pls pls pls this is what i was actually wanting

quasiplatonickarinhina: I NEED?? N E E D ?????

me: im gon dIE

quasiplatonickarinhina: WHAT IF KATES IN IT??? I  N. E. E. D.

me: OH MY GOD WHAT IF RACHEL AND KATE LIKE TALK BC LIKE RACHEL KNOWS EVERYONE AND IS LOVED BY EVERYONE

quasiplatonickarinhina: OH MY GODO H MY G O D

me: im ready to have my ass kicked

quasiplatonickarinhina: Same tho tbh

wolf-skins: what if like rachel and chloe like fight or chloe tells rachel she loves her and then that's when rachel disappears

quasiplatonickarinhina: OHHHHH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

wolf-skins and that's how the last ep ends

quasiplatonickarinhina: NO I mean yes But AAAAAAAAAA IM GON CRY???

wolf-skins: it would help explain chloe's abandonment issues too :(( like add to them bc everyone thinks chloe is an awful person and i just think people don't understand 2 seconds of what chloe's been through!!!!!!!!!

but also how else would u top the angst of the original's ending lmao 

quasiplatonickarinhina: It would contribute to soooome understanding knowing fandom there will still be some people who are Stupid & will still demonize bpd :///

U can't it's why it's a prequel

wolf-skins: exactly and like how can you have a sequel like what would even happen in it

quasiplatonickarinhina: I know??? I mean I guess really depressing road trip A-AT LEAST KATE IS SAFE I DONT THINK THERES A HOSPITAL IN ARCADIA AT LEAST

wolf-skins: she lives like literally every fanfic possible where people sacrificed arcadia bay they have her live

quasiplatonickarinhina: W E E P S THANK GOD IVE BEEN IN DRNIAL

wolf-skins: by being in some other town lmaooo i mean it's not #confirmed but literally..... everyone makes kate live 

quasiplatonickarinhina: SHES NOT ALLOWEDD TO DIE E V E R

wolf-skins: sequel: it turns out kate is a god and gave max her powers so max can help arcadia bay and also..............idk she's the one w powers make sense? no but kate anyways

quasiplatonickarinhina: This is tru

wolf-skins: anyways we're all going to be dead soon just.... slaughtered

quasiplatonickarinhina: Kate is god of At Least my heart Soon? I'm already dead this game will just harvest my organs :^)

wolf-skins: lmaoooooooooooooo i MEAN tru sell them on the black market it would suit arcadia bay's mood

quasiplatonickarinhina: TRU

wolf-skins: im gon share our theories btw bc im hYPEd

quasiplatonickarinhina: YES 

edit:

me: OH GOD WAIT IF CHLOE TELLS RACHEL SHE LOVES HER AND THEN RACHEL DISAPPEARS IT WILKL BE THE EXACT THING ESSENTIALLY OF WHEN HER DAD DIED nooooooooooooooooooooo

quasiplatonickarinhina H O W D A R W D. O. N. T.

wolf-skins: I know :((( chloe just deserves hugs and love but i feel like this will be kinda close to what does happen tbh

quasiplatonickarinhina: Honestly that's only sensible way to go? Like Rachel tells Chloe she can get the money to make it to LA & Chloe's like "I love you" & THEN RACHEL DISAPPEARS NO WHY P A I N

wolf-skins: HWY DO UT DO THIS TO EM

quasiplatonickarinhina: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

wolf-skins: omg im going to die just str8 up sob

quasiplatonickarinhina: This game will be the game to end all games

wolf-skins: like my heart has already been crushed now they want to send it through a meat grinder and make a smoothie out of it

quasiplatonickarinhina: Meets your daily dose of protein, iron, & heartbreak *requirements not dose dkdjbwks

wolf-skins: stop but wait i mean if the sequel was about ptsd and like exploring why max got these powers in the first place that'd be interesting

bonus: elizabeth walks out of the lightouse and then it is #confirmed same universe

quasiplatonickarinhina: That would be??? What if she sees this vision of someone getting killed in some Violent Manner & wants that to NOT happen bc she's feeling a little funky abt Arcadia (not regretful but kinda guilty if that makes sense I'm Fried)

YES W/ HER GF LARA

wolf-skins: god what if her powers never go away and she thinks she's killed people but it wasn't for anything at all + ofc lara joins 

quasiplatonickarinhina: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA DONY DO THIS

wolf-skins: what if chloe tells rachel she loves her but rachel doesn't tell chloe still that she's w frank and promises to get the money and disappears 

that would explain her breakdown completely well why that specific thing caused that specific breakdown