#but idk how else to say it concisely

[directactionforhope]

You know that annoying/ableist thing people do where they say that conservatives or bigots or assholes must have some disability or mental illness? E.g. "Those Trump supporters are all psychotic!" or "Racists are all brain damaged!"

I've found imho a pretty effective script for countering that without potentially Causing A Scene or getting someone mad at you:

Scoff lightly and say "Psychotic people deserve better than that comparison."

Also works for other stuff like "brain damaged" and "mentally ill" etc.

As long as you say it like you're joking with them, instead of like you're telling them off, I find it's pretty successful at getting people to go "Oh, hah, true" (tho sometimes a bit awkwardly) and then either self-correct or move on with the conversation.

[muppetbyers]

idk man but i think theres such a connection between will being possessed in s2 and like 'what happens when my boy is gone' and will giving the painting to mike under el's name. just like... will being replaced and then replacing himself. and like his entire person was being replaced by the mf, but also everything that he said was from el with the painting and speech was intrinsically his and his alone. and how his arc since s1 has been about hiding but also being right there. and how its all tied to his queerness. and how ideally in s5 this should lead to will not hiding/moving on from his identity and his feelings, but instead embracing them.

[alittleemo]

.

[edge-oftheworld]

okay, I definitely don't know exactly what I'm thinking but I'm going to try. I guess it comes down to the fact that luke is constantly (still, after 13 years) being objectified in like, a we-own-you kind of way. Not deliberately for everyone involved in even mildly perpetuating it, but it is to 5sos culture the way that rape culture is to society in general: it's persistent, it sneaks in in what we consider to be societal or fandom norms. It shapes our opinions and our worldviews and it's like how you can't ask a fish how the water is: the water just is, the fish doesn't know anything else. It's not anyone's fault per se but god we have to do better.

and the thing about 'babygirl' specifically is that, you know who else gets treated this way by society as a whole? 1) young people, and 2) women, girls, anyone in the broad category that is seen as opposite to 'men'. opposite to the people who do the owning and the objectifying and it's a patriarchal problem with its tendrils reaching worldwide. these are the two groups of people that if you are in, you don't have any power. so on the surface it looks harmless, cute even, to call a grown man babygirl. internet terminology is weird; people just say things that aren't quite words and they catch on when you understand the sentiment behind them. we call heaps of men babygirl. sometimes i see people call ashton babygirl. it's one of the things that seems innocent and quirky, at least to start with.

but it's only innocent when you're punching upwards, taking the people who have all the power and levelling the playing field, so to speak. but the thing is, it's not quite so simple as 'oh look a rich white privileged man' when said white man was a child star (and at this point, hopefully we know how people treat child stars consistently, we've seen it play out again and again in different ways, from the carter family to britney to everyone caught up in the 1d/5sos wave to whoever the teen stars are today, and I don't need to explain it) who grew up in the bush, brought up to be kind and hardworking and go the extra mile for people because no parent in rural nsw actually expects their kid to have to navigate asserting themselves in the music industry before turning 18. I'm not saying it was all awful or his parents didn't do a great job. but I am saying that being a white man doesn't exclude luke from living a recipe for exploitation for being pretty and cute and young and talented, so many adjectives we often associate with girls. a marketable stereotype designed to be fuckable and agreeable and never get angry. babygirl.

I could go into some theories I have as to why: but the same thing in a weird genderbent way often seems to apply to luke. people want to own him because he's all of those things; they don't, sometimes the bitterness about that turns into some culturally normalised trend of coming up with an imaginary version of him. but it's more than that, more than being the heartthrob frontman of the band, and comes down to chance as well. he happens to be the youngest of the band; the others are extremely protective of him (and for good reason, i'm also certain the feeling is mutual just not expressed completely the same, but people see what fits the categories in their heads), and he does challenge the gender binary as part of his self-expression (which is a neutral thing, it should always be a neutral thing, there should never be a shift in power between what's deemed masculine and feminine, but there is and this is a prime example of the impacts gender inequality has). we've seen him going from wishing he could express himself in a more gnc way to actually doing it. people caught on early. and of course, most fans mean well but there's always a vulnerability to laying down the masculine for something more feminine even partially. it's baked into the same culture that came up with terms like 'babygirl'.

he also gives off this vibe, probably a youngest child thing too, or having seen him in the public eye from such a young age, looking uncomfortable a good portion of the time, that kind of elicits a we-want-to-care-for-and-protect-you response. and I think what's dangerous about that is that you don't ever think that caring about someone could be at all related to taking their power away. but it can be, especially if you're unable to express that protectiveness in the form of actual conversation (which for a fandom this size, is impossible) and so it kind of sits there unexpressed, without any of us ever hearing in a personal conversation exactly how luke thinks and having the chance to negotiate, what is a better way to treat you? do you feel like we're treating you as a child even though you're 28 and married and a self-made millionaire and an expert at towing the line of vulnerable enough to be so much more human and relatable than most people on this planet while valuing privacy and personal goals and also more than capable of having children of your own too?

all this combined, you have the ingredients for this babygirl fansona (is that a word?) constructed without the guidance of the very man we are perceiving through this lens--even when you can interact with people in person it's very hard to actually change their perception of you. we get crumbs, like the fact that he likes to feel pretty to help with his confidence on stage, like bits of how he's grappled with growing up in the public eye and the ways in which being far ahead of your age in some ways always results in feeling behind in others. these then just feed into 'how babygirl of him' because we don't see the other bits, the ugly bits everyone has that no one has any obligation to share with the world. we hear him talking about mental health but we don't get to witness every minute of his life that led to the things he's talked about, it's very uwu-ified, it's easy for people to take things at face value and the fact that he's someone who tries so hard not to ever abuse positions of power he's in, and then strip his masculinity that still exists even if he's not always masculine, because we still associate masculinity with abuses of power, and then put him in a pretty box that was conceptually given to us for young women, but luke, the most (and therefore some sort of token pretty boy) out of all the band members, is close enough.

finally I want to touch on another trend that could be an essay on its own (it won't be an essay of its own with luke as an example though, out of respect I don't want to dive in too deeply, though I don't think I can respectfully not mention it either). people have a tendency to infantilise neurodivergent people, or anyone who seems vaguely neurodivergent, which is something that people do subconsciously pick up (hence why it's so important to have a name for it if that's you, because people will supplement it with descriptors that are often derogatory, babygirl might not quite be in that category but it still implies a loss of power as I've talked about). People also have a tendency to feminise neurodivergent boys and men in an outright derogatory way: anyone who doesn't like rough sport or who wears makeup or dares to have any kind of feelings. which includes neurotypicals, of course, but when you're neurodivergent it's often a step further; given; unescapable. and this is why I think that something most people think is innocent can become a cherry on top of a stack of other seemingly unrelated things, why it fills me with rage too. every time over the last 13 years luke has done something like get distracted or lose something or be a little bit socially awkward he gets infantilised. every time he gets scared it's 'poor babygirl' or something to that effect. once is cute. after a few hundred times it only erodes his ability to self-actualise and take control of his own narrative, his own gender expression and everything he shares, in a patriarchal, neuronormative world.

and so if you've read this far, I don't want to say you're bad if you've ever referred to luke as babygirl. you're not. but hopefully you've gotten to have a think and start to question, what does this term I use in pop culture actually mean? could it be insulting someone? is it affecting how I view someone and do I need to listen to them a little bit more open-mindedly?

also, hopefully it's okay to say this since luke has started talking about it a little but as myself, someone with adhd, i do also ask that you go and listen to more neurodivergent folk and figure out how to treat us with actual respect. please listen to people all across the gender spectrums too about their experiences with masculinity and femininity and the kinds of experiences that they've specifically gotten when they haven't fit nicely into a binary, however they end up identifying in the end (and as for luke, please don't assume anything about him in that vein. ever. there is one person who gets to decide that and it is luke) and what kind of things they might find offensive and why. this isn't you-have-to-know-everything-at-once but rather a call of, hey, there's a lot of diversity out there and the more diverse experiences you learn to empathise with, the more understanding you're gonna be as a person.

i have so so so many thoughts and feelings about the way this fandom constantly refers to luke as babygirl without taking one single second to think about why maybe it's a problematic thing to do to luke specifically but i lack the ability to organize those thoughts and feelings into anything coherent and concise. can someone else please read my mind and do it for me.

[callmemickey]

Cumming Home for Christmas

synopsis: Simon surprised you by being home 3 weeks early, which means you get to take him to your family’s Christmas get together! Unfortunately, Simon hasn’t had his fill of you… How thin do you think the walls are in the bathroom?

content: Afab, porn w a plot, smut (dirty talk, fingering, unprotected sex, creampie, quickie, slightly public? maybe other stuff idk) fluff fluff fluff kind of angst if you squint real hard he just loves you sm my sweet Angel babey reader muah love u 2

word count: 3.7k

notes: Don’t ask me why I chose Christmas this is purely self-indulgent. Also, he’s a brunette going off of the comics, so I’m running with that thx!

xxxxxxxxxxxx

Warm Christmas lights, sparkling ciders and the expensive alcohol, the soft hum of cozy Christmas jazz on the speakers, family buzzing and soaking in each other’s presence - there was nothing else you could ask for. In this massive sea of black and red formal attire, your family, both close and extended, came together for an amazing holiday party at your grandparents’ estate.

Simon, who surprised you by coming home over three weeks early, has accompanied you as your plus one to the family’s holiday party. It made the event even better. Your family adored Simon to bits and pieces, constantly embarrassing you in front of him, begging to know when he wanted to start a family with you, your aunts drinking too much and asking him to take off his coat and flex. He dealt with the melting pot of clashing personalities better than you had ever imagined.

Simon expertly handled the socializing carefully and precisely. He preferred to be an observer in these bigger settings rather than to speak. He gave simple answers that were concise one liners, saving his social battery. So, to make up for it, he would escape to assist anybody needing aid. When dinner was ready, he assisted in the kitchen, making sure that everybody had their meals first, and was later caught cleaning the kitchen (much to your displeasure). He also helped light your grandfather’s cigar outside. The Parkinson’s has been making it difficult for him to light them on his own, and Simon even listened to an old war story.

It was unbelievable how much you loved this man.

Now, nieces and nephews weaved between adults and furniture, the fireplace burned hot and strong, people laughed and yelled happily over the gentle music, and the scent of baking pies and pastries wafted and filled the air. Your lovely military fiancé, overworked and tired on his break, did so well to deal with this. Of course, Simon, being an incredibly selfless person willing to compromise in any situation or scenario just to make you happy, said that it was alright when you invited him. “Nothing would make me happier,” he had said in a low, roughened voice - which was right before he buried his face between your legs.

But I digress.

Simon stood next to you as your uncle told you both in absolute monotony about his recent trip to Italy, “So beautiful. Your aunt Amelia and I want to get a vacation home there.” He finished, and you nodded awkwardly. “Sounds like you and aunt Millie had a great time, uncle Mike.” Your tone was dry while Simon nodded and hummed in response. He just wasn’t… very present.

Simon had his attention and focus set on pretty high at the beginning of the night, but he was able to relax a little bit since then, to let himself just be in the moment - or so the psychiatrist says he should. He was actively paying attention to the conversation, yes that is true, but the hand holding your waist began to… wander, a little bit. Slowly at first, but much faster now. With a hand that started on your shoulder in the beginning of the night, bit by bit lowered down your back, smoothing above the top of your ass and to your hip. Fingers pressing deep into the black velvet of your dress, Simon tried to keep you caged next to him. That didn’t matter though, because you would have done little to resist him.

You two shared a quick glance. His dark brown eyes were slightly glossed, his gaze a salaciousness that he always brings home. Ooh, it made you want to rub your thighs together just to feel something. You nodded again to your uncle Mike when he brought up something else that was equally boring. Simon, having a better idea and use for his time, suddenly seemed to have remembered something, “Apologies, Mike, but Y/N and I have to make an important phone call.” You looked up at him.

That brief look in his eye was so, so hungry. The greed brewed like a dark storm. You felt a hot chill race down your spine, your core began to burn. You acted as if you remembered the same ‘something’ as well. “Oh my god, I can’t believe we almost forgot!” You gasped in a low voice. His fingers squeezed your hip, making your chest slowly fall into shallow breaths as you could imagine him purring in your ear.

Good girl.

You two waved him off as you turned to leave the kitchen. Simon took the wine glass from your hand and placed it on the countertops as you two walked through the doorway. His hand pressed on your lower back, guiding you into the dark hallway. The armoire in the middle lit with warm candles that smelled of cinnamon and spiced apples, casting shadows that bounced and flickered across the walls. It helped light your way to the restroom, but it also kept you two enveloped in shadows to help hide whatever sins you were going to commit. Simon, without a word, opened the bathroom, and with nobody inside, he sweeped you in, locking the door behind you two.

The bathroom had warm string lights strung across the crown molding, and a window with fake candles sat high on the wall. The room was a little loud with the echoes, so you smacked the switch on the wall to turn the fan on, hoping to mask whatever sounds were going to flood the room.

Not even a second, in such a calculated move, Simon plucked his mask off and had your lips locked with his as he hoisted you onto the sink counter. All you could do in that flurry of movement was gasp, his hands gingerly holding your jaw as his mouth worked against yours. You wrapped your legs around his waist, sighing as you felt a hardened tent in his trousers press eagerly against your clothed cunt.

You ran your hands through his dark brown hair, a moan running from you into him as his hands gave your ass a harsh squeeze. He ground his hips into you, pulling a whimper from you as he pressed roughly against your thrumming clit. Simon broke from your mouth, kissing your neck as his fingers pushed up into your dress, grabbing your panties.

“Quiet - or they’ll hear us,” he whispered against your flesh. You panted with a nod as he slipped your panties off, tossing them onto the floor along with his jacket. Simon quickly unbuttoned his white sleeves, rolling them up to reveal his heavily veined forearms, his one arm tattooed with black. He expertly undid his belt, pulling his pants and underwear down slightly, his hardened cock springing free.

He kept kissing your neck, lightly sucking to tease but not enough to hickey or bruise. His fingers dipped into your embarrassingly wet sex, rubbing at your clit and folds before pushing two fingers into you. “Fuckin’ hell, Y/N, so wet already.” His voice was a growl against your neck, slowly pumping them, his fingers rubbing up against that spongy spot inside.

It caused you to mewl. Simon’s one hand jumped to cup your mouth shut, making you gasp. The movement threw you off balance, your upper back falling back to press against the mirror while grabbing onto his wrist for support. He continued to finger you and hold your mouth closed, your whimpers mumbled in his hand.

Just as quick as you just started grinding your hips, he pulled his fingers away. A disappointed moan left broken up between your mouth and his palm. Simon grabbed his cock and started to pump himself, lubricating it with your juices before rubbing against your clit. He moved his hand from your mouth down to your hip.

You whimpered, “Oh my god, Simon.” Your hips wriggled and bucked against the dizzying sensation. He chuckled, slowly pressing his cock into your hot, wet cunt. The familiar stretch made you hum in need. “You’re gonna tease me? On Christmas?” You whined, your legs once again wrapped around his hips, urging him to sink into you.

“Ahh, have you been a good girl, though?” He asked in a low rumble, his other hand grabbing the other hip, his prepared stance making your hole clench around his member. He had a half-lidded stare, swirling with a level of lust you couldn’t really see the end of - bottomless and ravenous. Simon towered over you.

“I’m always a good girl for you, Simon,” You cooed.

He slowly pushed in, making you inhale sharply as you stretched so wide to allow him to fit. You held your breath as he pushed his cock through. “I’m just teasing, love - I know you’ll always be my good girl,” he said with warmth in his voice.

His tip kissed your cervix as he nestled fully, deeply, completely. Your head rolled back on the mirror as a satisfied sigh escaped you, but Simon’s grip on your hips tightened intensely. You gasped as he began a fast pace, his hips slapping loudly against your thighs and echoing in the bathroom. It was almost too much. It gave you little time to prepare for his entering, but you settled nicely around him after a few more thrusts.

Simon wasn’t normally this fast. He loved to hit with hard strokes, but nothing typically of this pace. Fortunately, you weren’t one to complain. It was so goddamn good. You hate it when your fiancé is away, not knowing where he was for most of the time, but when he’s gone for so long and comes back? Fuck. It’s criminal how good the sex is. His impatience made it impeccable.

But you were desperate. You wanted to cry and moan and yell, to beg and pray for him to bring you to a higher plane of pleasure. Oh, God, you would do anything for it, anything for him. You grasped at his forearms, your nails digging into his flesh, leaving stinging crescent moon shaped imprints in their path. He groaned lightly at your sharp grip, a soft chuckle coming from him. “Oh, you like this?” He asked, and you nodded, biting your lower lip to keep anything but your gasps, pants, and squeaks from escaping.

“Touch yourself,” his voice wasn’t harsh, but it was a demand.

With one hand still on Simon’s arm, the other moved to your clit, and you began to rub in quick circles. Simon watched your face twist and change: your mouth hanging open as you panted, but occasionally closed to bite your lip so to stop yourself from moaning; eyes half-lidded, barely open, glazed, and painfully horny; back bowing and arching, your toes curling, body just at a loss at what it can handle. This was Simon’s favorite view in the world. It’s what he came home for. It’s what he fought for.

A moan tumbled from your mouth as you held on for dear life. “S-Simon!” You whined his name, the heat inside of you burning red hot, uncontrolled, and rampant.

“S’alright love,” his voice was soft, “you gonna cum?”

You nodded quickly, the fingers on your clit stuttering as you found your release fast approaching, his almost brutal pace not slowing in the slightest. “I’m gonna c- ah- cum, Simon!” You struggled not to say too loud. “Don't stop!”

“Come on, Y/N,” he ushered, “cum for me.” Simon knew how to drive you over the edge. His hand reached out, firmly but gently cupping over your mouth to keep your head in place - and to push back your lascivious sounds.

A moan found itself trapped, lodged in your throat as you fought with your whole might not to yell and cry out. Your orgasm ripped through and crashed over you like a tsunami. He had unraveled you.

Your back arched, and you couldn’t roll your head back. Your lashes flickered as you struggled to keep your eyes from crossing or rolling back to look at Simon while you came. The fingers you had on your clit stopped moving as you were paralyzed, but the grip you had on his forearm stayed strong, “Ahhh, fuckin’ look at you. That’s a good girl, cummin’ nice and pretty on my cock. You like that, yeah?” He groaned, hips putting in more power to drill into your tightened pussy, tears pricking at your eyes as the orgasm left your legs shaking around him.

Simon retracted his hand, grabbing back at your hip. You let out a quick, small cry as your free hand held back onto his forearm. “Y’alright, love?” He grunted, and you nodded furiously before he could stop, but he started slowing down. You didn’t want him too. “Need- I need you,” you gasped, “don’t stop, Simon.” You whimpered.

Oh, to be buried deep inside your pussy was all he could have ever hoped for upon coming home. Y/N, ever so kind and giving. Simon tightened his hands around your hips again and began the brutal pace as you struggled to keep silent.

That’s when you felt your body heating up again. Your sex thrummed with the building pleasure and excitement once more, causing you to moan while you held onto his wrists. A light sheen of sweat sat on your skin, your clothes sticking uncomfortably to your flesh.

Simon moaned softly with a smirk, your fucked out expression and legs lazily clinging onto his hips was such an amazing sight. The snapping of him against you had beat your pussy red, leaving it angrily aroused. “You gonna cum again? Yeah? Ahhh, thas my needy girl.” Desperate, tiny grunts popped out of you with each thrust, your pussy swallowing Simon deeply.

“Si-Simon! Gonna- c-cum!” You gasped out with each pump. 

Your orgasm hit like a rapid flash of heat and pleasure. A squeal escaped you, and you quickly covered your mouth with your hand. Your eyelids fluttered as your eyes rolled back, legs around Simon’s waist tightened, your whole body trembled from his unrelenting pace. Your face was flushed red, eyes completely glazed and lost as your hair stuck to your face.

“Ah, f-fuck, so fuckin’ tight. So good - my girl is so good, God, cummin’ on my cock, just like that.” He growled, his hips slowly beginning to fall off rhythm while his orgasm began to creep up on him.

You moaned and begged, “Ah, Simon, nngh, I-I can’t- please cum!”

“Don’t you worry, g-gonna cum inside this pretty pussy,” Simon groaned, “gonna fill you up, yeah?”

You nodded furiously as your body screamed in overstimulation. “Please, I- ah! Too much, ah, you’re too much, Simon!” You cried out, your ever tightening cunt being stretched open, begging for his release.

“Y/N- Y/N, fuck!” He hissed as his hips slammed against you, tightly holding his cock against your cervix as if he was threatened to be ripped away. He groaned, emptying himself into you completely, his cock jerking and flexing harshly, making the veins on his shaft more pronounced. You whimpered, your cunt tensing around him as you felt hot waves shooting inside of you. He stayed for a moment while panting, his thighs shaking slightly, relishing in the feeling as oxytocin and dopamine flooded his brain. Simon pulled out, a throaty groan leaving you at the sudden emptiness, your legs letting go of him.

“Well… let’s hope nobody heard that.” Simon said in a low voice, pulling up his underwear and pants, buckling his belt and grabbing your panties for you. You slid off of the sink and inhaled sharply as your knees buckled. He immediately latched onto your arms, making sure you wouldn’t fall. “Fuckin’ hell, Y/N, y’alright?” He asked, slowly loosening his grip to make sure you were okay on your own.

“My legs, Simon. Jesus Christian Christ - I can’t stand.” You huffed, leaning against the sink, glowering at him as you took your panties from his hand, embarrassed.

He unrolled his sleeves, buttoning them. “You’re really gonna talk like that? On Jesus’ birthday?” He looked at you as he grabbed his jacket, shaking his head. “What would your nan say, hmm?” He feigned sincerity, a smirk tugging at the corner of his lips as he swung the jacket on.

“Well, the jokes on you because Christmas isn’t even Jesus’ birthday.” You snapped back at him, slowly sliding your underwear on as your knees shook like a newborn giraffe. He tutted in disapproval as he moved up to you.

Simon’s body was close, his body radiating warmth. He wasn’t one for a lot of physical affection, which was alright, so when he took the time to be attentive to you… you always melted against him immediately. His finger lightly hooked under your chin and tilted your head up to look at him. Your body subconsciously gravitated towards him, like a moth seeing the moon for the very first time.

He leaned down, lips brushing so close to yours, your eyes still connected . “Fuck what day it really is - I just know I’m home.” Simon pushed in for a deep kiss, brimming with emotions, the kinds he couldn’t really say. As he pulled away, he couldn’t help but admire you.

The golden candlelight fluttered across his face. His tired but warm eyes studied you, as if seeing you for the first time, memorizing and mapping every freckle, wrinkle, and spot, because he’s scared that the moment he looks away, he’ll forget. He took in your flushed, messy appearance as if God himself sent down a heavenly body to give him a reason not just to fight, but to live; an angel on its mission as a guide, and he would willingly martyr himself on the ground at your feet if it meant he could just hear you say his name. Once.

Simon wanted to say these things, but he wouldn’t. He might never. But that’s alright, too. Not everyone is meant to love so boldly.

You cocked an eyebrow as he stared at you so intensely. “You okay there, Lieutenant?” You asked, a small smile on your lips.

He realized that, yes, it was alright that he didn’t say those things. Not because he didn’t want to, but because he didn’t have to - you just knew. Everyday he thought about how he didn’t deserve you. You, ever so loyal and strong. You’ve given him a purpose, motive, after all of these years - alone.

He often wondered what he had done to deserve having someone like you in his life. Someone who loved and cultivated, with hands of soft mercy, so tender and kind. A voice of validation, honesty, reason, all stemming from your unconditional love. If he had met you years ago, before the therapy and psychiatry helped, he would’ve let your fingers prick and bleed as you grasped at his thorns while he plucked you of your petals, leaving you broken and bare.

He didn’t deserve you.

Simon returned the smile, his voice soft, “Never better.” His hands moved to hold your waist as you two shared a few more kisses. “You know I like it when you call me that,” he hummed in between the lip locking.

You moaned gently and teasingly bit his bottom lip, your hands pressing against and gliding up his shirt. You kissed his jawline and sighed, “Is that so, Lieutenant Riley?”

He squeezed your waist in a warning. “Careful, love, we don’t have time for round two. Save it for tonight.” Your pussy purred just as Simon pulled away, picking up the mask from the sink and putting it back on in an attempt to obscure his identity.

You hummed, legs still a little shaken. “Well, I might need a minute to get my feet under me. You… okay with managing my family alone?” You asked hesitantly, eyes slightly squinting as if to flinch. He studied you for a moment, eyes glancing you up and down. It made you a little self-conscious, causing you to shift.

“Of course, Y/N,” his tone was reassuring, and subtly professional, “you sure you want me to leave you? Just say the word, love.”

Your body relaxed a little, and you nodded. “Yeah, I’ll be fine. I just need a minute.”

Simon faltered, if for a moment, before he gave you a soft squeeze on the arm, and left. You sighed, turning to lean onto the counter and fix your hair in the mirror. Your legs really were shaking, much to your surprise. Yes, yes, Simon makes you shake plenty, but he doesn’t always fuck that hard, if rarely. You couldn’t be more embarrassed. Sending your fiancé, who is not the biggest people-person, back to the wolves, but it’d be more embarrassing if you walked out there in your current state.

You fixed your dress and made sure you were able to stand properly again after a few minutes. Making sure your hair, makeup, and dress were all still together, you left the bathroom with caution. You quietly snuck down the hallway, back against the wall. You got to the doorway and peeked around the corner to peer into the party.

You don’t know how long you were in the bathroom for as the crowd surprisingly died down. Family members left for home, hotels, or whatever bedrooms your grandparents had available, so the end-of-the-night afterparty was intimate and calm. You inched into the room, eyes falling on Simon, who was outside with your grandfather, lighter in his hand.

You smiled gingerly as your mother called you over. “Sweetie, everybody loves Simon. I know he isn’t much of a talker, or a hugger, but he made a great impression.” Her voice was filled with warmth and happiness, and she spoke in a hushed tone. “He also listens to your grandfather’s stories, bless his heart.” She cooed. Your mother continued to speak, but her voice drowned out as you watched your future husband.

Simon stood at ease, with his hands held together and relaxed behind him as your grandfather engaged him in a story, puffing his cigar shakily as his hands trembled while he was animated. It was so calm and serene, watching him nod, the ghost of his jawline moving beneath the mask as he spoke. Your heart fluttered as Simon’s eyes flicked over and locked onto you, giving a little wink before turning his attention back to the present conversation.

Okay, you’re definitely sitting on his face tonight.

[inkdrinkerworld]

omg beefy james and chubby gf and someone’s like “idk what you see in her you could get someone much better” and he’s just so confused cause you’re perfect and he would die for you if you even hinted that that’s what you want like??? better??? how

james has always been the devotional type. always able to just give and give of himself to anyone- his friends, partners, family, but especially to you.

sirius and remus like to joke that you're his religion. james never argues because that's what it feels like- like he was put here to just be with you and make you happy.

it's why when frank makes an off comment about, "james, you could have any girl you wanted; someone better," james is dumbfounded.

you'd walked away for only two seconds, marlene insisting she had something to show you- james thinks, no he knows, it's code for girl talk.

his eyes had been trailing behind you, longing to reach out and just grab you to sit in his lap as you passed him with a squeeze to hos shoulder.

"what?" he's not one for quick anger- he's not really one for anger either. but something about the way frank said it is pushing him there.

"you could, i'm just saying," sirius wants to punch frank in the face and james thinks the only reason he hasn't is because james leans in to crown his personal space.

"why would i want someone else? y/n's perfect." blunt, sharp and concise. "would you want another friend besides me, just because i’m bigger than you are?"

he's annoyed now, his pressure is rising and sirius is sure james' eye will twitch in no time.

'doll, come get your boyfriend. he's about to lose his shit,' his text is sent as james drones on- clearly glad for the chance to sing your praises.

"- and another thing," you cut him off then, sitting sideways in his lap on the sofa. james' entire body relaxes.

you lean into him, lips pressed to his ear, "can we go home? m'tired." you stroke the back of his neck, and twist some of the thick curls that are due for a trim.

james turns to you, staring into your pretty eyes that are covered in blue glittery eyeshadow.

his heart jumps when you give him a small smile.

"course we can angel," he kisses you.

"don't wanna see you here again frank." he says curtly, your eyebrows shooting up. you make a mental note to message sirius or remus to find out what that's all about.

james links your fingers as you walk out, the back of your hand close his lips, receiving whispered prayers and kisses.

[aikastugeek]

Ok so idk how long this is gonna be and I'm gonna try to keep it as coherent and concise as possible. SALTBURN IS NOT A CLASS COMMENTARY MOVIE, IT IS A MOVIE ABOUT YEARNING AND DESIRE. I don't know how many times I have to say this but it seems that the biggest problem that people have with the movie is that it's a terrible class commentary and has nothing real to say about it. And I would totally agree if that's what the movie was about. I've often seen people compare it to Parasite which is crazy to me. While in a general sense it has a similar premise to parasite (an amazing movie that deserves all its awards) because it has to do with someone worming their way into a rich family the comparisons stop there. Noting that Oliver himself has enough money to go to Oxford without a scholarship I think it's safe to say he didn't need their money. Oliver never cared about the house until he killed Felix. He started trying to get close to felix even before he knew about saltburn. When Felix was introducing the house to us and we see it through Oliver's eyes we are only focusing on Felix and nothing else. And while yes the Catton family is super rich that's a part of the dream that is Felix. He's super tall, super handsome, super nice, and super rich. He is everything anyone would ever want that's why he's so shiny so from any perspective we can understand why Oliver would want to be around him and mixed with his obviously obsessive nature of course he's gonna do anything to win Felix. Until Felix died there wasn't a real emphasis on the house itself just how grand it is but we don't see the happy montage in the house it's outside. And Oliver ingesting the fluids of the family is supposed to show just how far he's willing to go what he's willing to do just to be around Felix. And most importantly Oliver is shown to be a hella unreliable narrator so you can't exactly believe him when he says that this was all some master plan of his I mean he's not even telling the story to anybody. Elspeth probably can not hear him he's talking to himself because that's who he's trying to convince. He's trying to convince himself that killing Felix was all part of some plan to get saltburn because of his massive regret. After Felix's death he's seen sobbing in the church and sobbing on his grave wanting to be as close as possible to his lost love. And even when he says he hated Felix the montages that we see is not him being menacing or Felix being terrible it's Oliver weeping whenever he felt pushed away from Felix. And this misinterpretation bothers me so much because it messes with what the movie's about. It's not a commentary, or a story with a sweeping moral it's pure entertainment and hedonism. And this sort of misinterpretation paints the creator in a bad light because everyone is going around saying she can't write because people didn't understand the point of the story she wrote. I've watched many interviews of her talking about the movie and you can with even just one interview that she never meant it to be a class commentary but people will never give women the benefit of the doubt. But anyway that's all, I could really make a whole long ass essay about the misinterpretation of saltburn but I'll leave it as a long post and go.

[vi-is-badass]

I kind of agree and disagree with you guys here.

I do agree that the perspective that Georgia Dow approaches the analysis from is flawed and I do agree that Jinx will find redemption through the situation and independence movement her actions inspire, but I don’t agree that she doesn’t require any redemption on a personal level for the rocket.

On a grander sociopolitical scale I agree that the rocket doesn’t need redemption. But I do think that on a personal level her actions towards Caitlyn and the fact that she likely killed her mother with that rocket will need some reckoning on Jinx’s part.

(Of course Caitlyn will have a lot to reckon with in regards to her own actions in response and Piltover’s part in the build up to those actions, but that’s another post entirely.)

I just think all of Jinx’s actions are complicated because on a more personal level her actions have a completely different context and impact (in acts 2 and 3 they weren’t driven by revolution and had a negative impact on those closest to her) than they do on a societal level (which can be and look like they will be positive).

So I agree that Jinx’s redemption needs to be on a personal level but disagree the rocket isn’t included in some ways within that more personal level.

Arcane Season 2: Jinx’s Redemption? | Therapist’s Take & Prediction

[princess-of-the-corner]

Ok, this is mostly random, but I had the thought, and it wouldn’t leave me alone.

Hatsume Mei reads to me as someone who didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Like. Maybe she wasn’t bullied or picked on, but she was Someone who had a very specific, niche interest, not to mention being INSANELY SMART, so she feels out of touch with other kids. Other kids want to talk about Power Rangers or Pokémon, and Hatsume was busy figuring out how to make a working robot-Zord or how to make a fuel efficient car. Again, no one was necessarily MEAN to her, but they didn’t often engage with her, because she was so “out there” for a bunch of average little kids. Blunt, lightning fast, unapologetic about her smarts, who was six or seven (or seventy) steps ahead of everybody else. Just. Someone who everybody thought was weird, and eventually Hatsume kind of shrugged her shoulders and just did her own thing. Who needs friends when there’s INVENTING to be done??

And I just got this crystal clear image of, after the Sports Festival, Iida goes to Hatsume to talk about their match. And Hatsume is all prepared to deal with annoyance, a lecture (which she’s going to ignore, thank you), but Iida … apologizes? Sort of? Like, he isn’t exactly HAPPY she turned their match into an ad for her inventions, but he acknowledges that for all that the Sports Festival HAS sections for Support, Buisness, and Gen Ed students (or it should?), most of the focus IS on the Hero Course kids, so her competing and turning the whole thing into an ad was more likely to get her attention than if she just set up a booth with the other Support kids. Like, again, he isn’t happy about it, but he understands, and says regardless, his attitude towards her was uncalled for. And he did think some of her stuff was neat!

Hatsume … Isn’t exactly sure how to take that, so focuses on the part of his statement she DOES know how to handle. SOME of them were neat? Which ones? Which did he not like? Why? Did it interfere his Quirk? Was the sizing wrong?

Iida seems a bit startled, but answers all her questions, clearly and concisely. They actually spend a LOT of time talking about it, Iida doesn’t even seem to mind when Hatsume jumps to other ideas, perfectly content to be her sounding board. In the end, Hatsume has a bunch of feedback, and plenty of new ideas! She excitedly tells Iida he should drop back in soon, she’ll show him the prototypes! Iida promises he will and leaves … and Hatsume expects that to be it. Like, that was a perfectly friendly interaction, she was happy about it, but she cheerfully expects it to be a one time thing - like a “wow, that was a nice surprise! Welp, back to it!” sort of thing. It isn’t conscious, but she thought he was mostly humouring her.

So, she’s surprised when he DOES turn up again. When he remembers her ideas, and wants to know how they’re going. When he asks intelligent questions, and tries to understand. When he (tentatively) asks about improvements to his own costume. When he starts recommending her to his friends. When THEY also start turning up repeatedly, sometimes for Support stuff, but also just to talk. When they invite her to stuff just … because.

It’s a couple months later, with a bunch of phone numbers, a couple sleepovers, multiple hang out invites, and being in at least six different group chats. It’s while talking to Iida about changing his helmet - a basic HUD, that’s all she’s suggesting! It would make SUCH a difference - that she realizes, oh. Oh, this-. This is friendship, isn’t it? These people are my friends.

(idk, but the thought wouldn’t leave me alone. At the very least, that’s how I see her and Iida start talking)

-

Yes! Yes yes yes!

I might have to shuffle the Timelines because outside of one mention where he  was kinda coping via organizing Iida‘s having a Bad Time™ post-Sports Festival so he’d be very unfocused and would swing back around to talking to her post-Stain Incident like ‘hey I should’ve come talk before but-” and she’s like ‘dude it’s cool literally everyone knows your brother almost died not gonna be mad talking to a random girl from school’ is bumped low on the priority list’.

[biracy]

Sorry to be a petty bitch abt something I saw someone else say but I like fundamentally disagree with the take that a transmasc read of Jesse from Jesse is Bad if it builds on the very real, very present theme of Jesse being treated in a similar way to how women in the show, particularly Skyler, are treated. This is not the same as saying that Jesse IS a woman, obviously, because in the text of the show Jesse is a cis man and that theme is still there. Men can be "treated like women" sometimes, and trans men especially can be "treated like women" A Lot times. Idk there is such a pervasive idea that trans people can have absolutely zero connection, positive or negative, with our "birth gender" and that trans characters have to be basically indistinguishable from cis characters except they Have Top Surgery Scars or something. Men get "treated like women" for the littlest things sometimes lmao especially in 2008, I honestly think a read where Jesse is transmasculine and stealth and no one knows he's trans and he still gets treated like that and he like, Gets Dysphoric About It or whatever but that's actually just how Walt would treat him regardless works a little. Thematic concision, yknow? Idk it's not "calling him a woman" because if it was then I don't think Jesse would be a cis guy in the source. That's not how it works

[beepbananabus]

Now that you've shared your favorite newer h20vanoss moments, what are your favorite older moments?

oh YESSS

as stated before, a lot of those moments are interwoven into videos, buuuut there are other more concise moments that I can link below in no particular order :)

EDIT: this was so long so im putting this under a readmore :)

chick-fil-a date. I think its so cute that evan immediately slides into a seat with del and stares at him for a good second. like there's just this moment shared between them, and then the passing of chicken back and forth ;; (focus on the number of chicken in his inventory!). like idk, there's not even a bit tied to this. they're just being them <3

"Oh... he's gone." I don't know what's crazier to me. either its the way that evan says that line with so much softness in his voice, how much he wants him to be there, or the fact that he proceeded to follow his NPC for like a solid 5 minutes straight. LIKE. WHAT? this man has it BADDD i stg,,,

"Leave these guys- Screw these guys." out of the whole mc series, (besides Doomsday because that shit is peak. unparalleled experience.) this is one of my top favorite moments bc its just?? so soft?? just these two sneaking away from everyone, the quiet childish-like giggling like they're two kids out past curfew, and then you have evan commenting: "they're going to be so pissed when they realize that we're gone", like them solidifying their companionship together,,,, UGH i love them sm ;;

"Why don't you marry him while you're at it?" i swear, one of the most common themes between them is the constant (joking) reference that they're together/married. its one of my favorite themes abt the two bc it's so sweet and so funny at the same time, like they do bicker like married couples and you have evan just going off on it SO casually, SO normally, like this wasn't a role he even had to think about. unmatched, actually.

"feathers" Insane to think that we have an honest-to-god parallel to evan calling del 'blueberry', like omfg?? it's so so sweet and i love how almost flustered evan reacts <3

the nether star fiasco okay okay there's SO MANY THINGS that i love about this. it's the immediate trust from evan to del, handing him that nether star with the idea of keeping this bit between the both of them, ignoring the fact that it was brian who gave him the star. then evans reaction to del throwing it out into the open, how he says his name as they're both holding back laughter at the knowledge that they're screwing with the crew. then brian coming in, peeved that evan shared it with del, but did you really expect him?? to not do that?? THE evan?? the evan whos always been a sucker for del?????

want you club okay this one has me by my NECKKK BECAUSE what do you MEAN evan has this elaborate song about risky love that is forbidden, yet he can't help but fall into it deeper and deeper every time- then he edits this song into a mission and he asks del how it sounds??? HELLO??? and then the compliments, the "they're all here for YOU, man!!" the deep immense focus on del throughout ALL of this,,,

boop! its such a small detail, but i LOVE how they move immediately to each other, almost as if GTA has transformed into a version of themselves where they can touch each other across the entire country. they do it so mindlessly, so full of expression and affection, and casually, just moving forward and boop, they've knocked into each other. and the isolation from the others, how they've practically left everyone behind and it's only the two of them now. not to mention the scene earlier where they had just begun the race and while everyone else is happily racing off, evan WAITS for del to catch up to him, then they're off again. he WAITED for him!! not a single word is passed but if del's not going, then he's not going either! and ADGHSAGHDAH RAHHHHGDHA them ;;

"i'm glad that you're here with me, delirious" there's not enough words for how many times this video has me screaming, has my on my KNEES, because oh my god??? i adore the way that he says this with just this soft yet confident tone, like he's so sure in himself of del's company. oh my god. anyways, im going to wade into a river now.

"That's why I'm not angry" This one's a bit lengthier with it stretching to 8:40, but every second of it is worth it, and onwards. evan is playing with delhere. and im not talking about like. playing as in playing the game. he's doing a bit with del and del only. it reminds me of like, stereotypical girls when they get a guy to chase them while giggling, like they're PLAYING TAG right now. just the two of them. evan didnt even kill del. evan probably WASNT PLANNING TO. he was just messing around with del probably and was going to leave him alone after this, like i kinda wish that didn't happen to see what evan WOULD've done. just??? their fucking BANTER in general, then their soft comfort at the end?? like that is INCREDIBLY out of their gamer persona, like i cannot state this enough. they have their moments together. AND THEN THEY PROCEED TO FOLLOW EACH OTHER AFTERWARDS AS GHOSTS??? OH MY GOD???

there's so many more videos like scenes from their minecraft series, gmod, gta v, but this is long enough as it is, so i'll pause it here <33

[miupow]

about knowing when a smut author is/is not a virgin: is it bc of how realistic the sex being portrayed is? because to be honest, a part of the fun for me is like how unrealistic it is and in that same regard not all sex is made equal. like okay maybe this guy is a sex god and hes still impossibly hard for shits and giggles yknow? or conversely having mc press out a couple of orgasms, like 4+, in the span of one session is achievable for some but like WILD for me (not a virgin) LMAO

idk i feel like i mostly notice when authors are not virgins in the dialogue or actions not related to sex. like, theres small bits of thoughtfulness that just dont occur to a writer unless theyve experienced something similar.

anyways hope this doesnt come off as weird, but im like curious and want u to say more :33

hii nonnie!! it doesn’t come off as weird or rude at all, honestly id love to talk more ab it hehe

i definitely agree that one of the biggest appeals of smut and erotica is how unrealistic it is! it’s entertainment first and foremost, and you should always make smut hot, fun, and larger than life :] it’s not necessarily the realism… here’s some bullet points of my thoughts cos idk how else to make this concise and make sense lol

a lot of the time it’s when something is added to a fic that is so minute and unique… like reading it im like oh this guy Fucks cos it’s something you’d only really know about if you’ve had sex irl

like hp said earlier, dicks go soft in like lightspeed after cumming lol cockwarming after the guy came is almost impossible

squirt is basically pee. i feel like not enough people know this. also squirting isn’t just a cute lil tiny squirt like the name will make you think.. like it’s a lot of fluid you full on wet the bed

uh i can’t think of anything else rn

[the-heart-of-a-monster]

I’ve been gone for so long but I have so much to say and idk how to say it so please be prepared for an absolute mess of an ask lol

First, I just really wanna give appreciation for Super Emeralds (The comic creator) and their dedication to THOAM. I’ve been on Tumblr for just a little more than a year at this point, and I only joined in the first place because of this comic. I got into it way back in… What was it, 2020?? 2021? And I fell in love immediately with the concept! Sonic feeling insecure about his new Werehog form? Chip being an active member of the team and a great friend?? TEAM DARK??? SONADOW DONE RIGHT?????????? Ohohoho! You can bet I was completely on board! I tried my best to comment on every page, because I just love giving positive feedback for things I enjoy, and took note of how Super Emeralds evolved their style as the years went on. I wasn’t there during the beginning, and I really wish I was, but the time I’ve spent following this fun little comic has made me feel so much appreciation not just for Super Emeralds as a person, but for the entire Sonic art community as a whole! Art is a creative endeavor, a passionate career, and sometimes it’s really hard to just. Draw. Comics are especially hard as I’ve discovered. So just… Good job to Super Emeralds for sticking around all these years and for giving us such an incredibly thought out and beloved series. And thank you.

…

ALRIGHT ENOUGH OF THAT MUSHY GUSHY STUFF AND LET’S TALK ABOUT THE BLUE BOY HIMSELF THAT IS NOW NO LONGER JUST BLUE MUAHAHAHAHASHEHEHEKEFHEOFHFFPWEHFLFHD

I’ve been a bit absent from Tumblr for the last few weeks due to sickness and lack of interest so I am undoubtedly missing a page or two from the equation but OH MY GOSH. POOR SONIC. Bro wakes up from like a 2-day long nap and the first thing he sees is his little brother screaming in his face at 3AM. He’s so confused haha! I noticed he isn’t as insecure or he isn’t really freaking out as much as I assumed he would way back during the exposition pages. This is obviously due to the confusion and whiplash after waking up as his “Normal” self again, but I feel like it’s just him putting on another fascade around his friends. To an extent, at least. He isn’t aware of the new pink markings all over his body and he isn’t aware of just how worried all his friends were. All he knows is that they know about his new form and they for some reason aren’t acting weird about it, so he’s likely just playing along to make sure nobody gets overly concerned. It just seems like something he’d do. Or maybe I’m just grasping at the angst straws, idk.

OMEGA IS FIXED BY THE WAY I DO NOT WISH TO GLOSS OVER THAT FACT. THE BOY IS BACK!! THE ROBO BOYO IS BACK!!! I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE ALL THE CRIMES HE’LL BE ABLE TO COMMIT ONCE TAILS GETS THOSE ROCKET LAUNCHERS WORKING AGAIN HEHEHEEE

Also let’s not gloss over how Omega doesn’t care that Sonic mauled him to death. Let’s not gloss over the fact that Omega clearly cares for the others because of his ignorance to Sonic’s rampage.

Yeah if you couldn’t already tell I’m a sucker for this kinda stuff-

Uhhhhh I don’t really have much else to say, honestly. Maybe I will later, but right now I’m on a time crunch so I gotta keep this all pretty concise. Thank you so so much for reading all the way through, I know this was a really really long one. And again, thanks to Super Emeralds for being able to last this long and not losing motivation for the comic. I know I would’ve given up after just 5 pages! (I actually tried to make a comic of sorts and I literally gave up after 5 pages I am not kidding.)

Aight I gotta go now bye bye!! 👋

ur gonna have a field day in 2-3 weeks depending on when u decide to go on rampage haha

[ladymdc]

*writer interview*

Thanks for the tag @bardic-inspo. I appreciate it ♥️

I’ll tag @dismalzelenka, @ellstersmash, @championofdogs, @yuusaris, & @rose-de-noire — no pressure & feel free to ignore me!

When did you start writing?

Early 20s. I didn’t really have access to fandom spaces until I was out of my childhood home & in college. But I quickly realized I could write/share all these things floating around in my head that various games/shows inspired in me.

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

I don’t really think so? I will read about anything, & I will try to write about anything as long as it sparks. A lot of the time those things overlap, but I do lean into grief, love & forgiveness a lot as a writer/reader.

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

No emulation or comparisons here. The most I get told is that I’m good being concise & saying a lot with very little (gut punch sentences/scenes etc)— which is flattering & what I strive for since it is my style/*how* I like to write.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

I literally do not have one lol. I am so busy I do 90% of my writing in gdocs on my phone wherever I happen to be & when I have some time. The other 10% is when I’m at work & can discreetly pop it up in a tab & write on & off throughout the day in between tasks.

What’s your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Fallow when I need to fallow.

Every time I ignore it, I block & burnout. I didn’t want to fallow earlier this year since I just got into my current passion project, but after 3 months of other hobbies & rest, coming back to it has been great. I love my story & think I’m alright at this writing thing again.

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

I have noticed I tend to lean into themes of self-loathing (sometimes anxiety), the related trauma, & how that effects the way they move through life & build relationships— & if that isn’t showing my whole ass, idk what is.

I also really enjoy the whole sociopath/something monstrous & their one (1) person, who loves & understands them, that they love & cherish trope— but hey, I wrote Rhack for 3 years, that one was bound to stick around.

What is your reason for writing?

It’s a part of me. I’m not sure how that happened, but that’s the easiest way to explain. Like years ago, I had a reasonably popular writer (“friend”) steal my ideas & gaslight/mess with my stats/comments (fake accounts) & I honestly didn’t think I could recover from that when it all came to a head. It took a while to get to a place where that part of me felt whole again, & I could write… but I don’t think it would have hurt so much if it was just the “something to do” it had started off as.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

I’ve never been one to inspire interaction, or I don’t feel like I am, so anything feels nice. I try to not let it get to me. The above nonsense did a number on me with stats = quality for a while, so I try to update & forget about it for a few days. Then it feels less bad going into an empty inbox because I did the thing! I updated & made progress on my story!

Plus, I’m a quiet reader too/busy & I forget a lot, so I get it. I just hope what I share resonates/sparks joy with those following along, & I call it good.

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I’m just someone out there doing my best & sometimes that doesn’t even feel like enough, so I’m probably just like everyone else lol. I hope I seem approachable. That’s my intention, at least.

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Worldbuilding, story/plot, & conciseness. I love trying to say a lot with very little & why I gravitate toward drabble exercises (100 word stories) every so often.

How do you feel about your own writing?

It varies. Sometimes I think I’m alright at this & happy with my little digital library. Some of my older works make me cringe regularly, but I leave them up because they show me how much I’ve grown & how many stories/words it took to get where I am.

Right now I’m in a pretty good place, but that took some time. Like I loved my last fandom, but I definitely needed a break from antis & the pressure I was exerting on myself. Where I’m at now, no one knows me. I’m a drop in a very big ocean so I feel like I’m just doing my thing, which has been an adjustment, but not every fandom needs to be a place I get involved & make friends. Loving on my current passion project has been a good reminder on why I started writing in the first place, & even if I have bad days where I think I’m too slow or not good enough, focusing on me & what this part of me needs has been good/healing.

When you write, are you influenced by what others enjoy might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

What I write is either a gift or self-indulgent, sometimes both. I can’t write for stats or attention. I don’t know how people do that, but no judgement either. Sometimes I think I hold it too close, & wish I could, but alas. Seems like I’m built to just pour my heart into everything I create (or all my pent of hornt depending on the work ;asldkfj) & that’s it ♥️

[aihaitahm]

mysteries of tatarasuna

enemies to lovers? not really kinda? idk more like frenemies. cw suggestive (if u squint)

ill probably make a part 2 mwehehehehhe idk depends on how this one does :3 hopefully you guys like it :((

when you first interacted with alhaitham, he was still a haravatat scholar and you were a vahumana scholar. you both were incredible and outstanding students in your own fields though there was always tension between you both. you would see him late at night while cramming your own researches while he would secretly stare, busy “reading” his book. sometimes he would walk by you and would point out your mistakes. afterall, you sat by the book section where ancient inazuma linguistics were. he would pretend to grab a book from there but in reality, he was intrigued by you yet denies he feels attraction towards you.

“you know cramming is a terrible habit especially for a vahumana student like you.���

“also this word should be ‘their’ instead of ‘there’ how are you the top student of the vahumana darshan? how did you even pass the entrance exam?”

“excuse me?!” you hissed from the rudeness.

“also this sentence does not make sense. you should make it concise for the teacher to read.”

you stare at him deadpanned but inside you couldnt help but think he was handsome and smart. you’ve heard of a lot about alhaitham. the top student of haravatat, azar’s top choice for a scribe, everything.

you deeply sighed and made corrections, ignoring the butterflies in your stomach. you could feel your face go a bit pink when you noticed he was a little too near you. oh god.

“who.”

“what?”

“ASKED. respectfully i did not ask for your opinion thank you very much.”

you slammed the encyclopedia closed as you finished your last piece of your project about the mysteries of Tatarasuna and how it came to be. though other students have their own projects about it, the professors liked yours the most because of how updated and unique it is.

“tsk and you knew i was right, you even did what i said. you did in fact needed that. hm was i wrong?”

oh boy and thats how the friendly-not friendly banters and arguements started. it got even worst as you both graduated. when he became scribe while you became a sage. soon enough, you realized how much you enjoy interacting with him. not like you both would admit it but there was definitely sexual tension sometimes or even… all the time. everybody noticed it, even the fungus did.

alhaitham would talk about you a lot whenever he got invited to play tcg or dinner with cyno, tighnari and kaveh.

“do you like (name)?” tighnari asked.

“no. how did you come up with that?”

“are you that much of a dumbass? how are you so smart yet you cant even tell if you like (name). you complain or talk about them everyday.” kaveh laughs as cyno lightly chuckles. tighnari sighs as he asks for the bill.

“maybe i should just kick you out my house, what do you think about that kaveh?” alhaitham says irritatedly. but secretly, his heart is pumping so much he might go crazy.

though one day, you sadly had to go to inazuma for your final research/book about tatarasuna island. professors greatly praised it and younger students use your material for reference. you told that to alhaitham and you could see the sadness in his eyes, though he brush it off as he didnt care and he was awfully too silent when you told him the news.

“i heard the electro archon can be quite the character. take care.”

you both said your goodbyes and you were about to walk away until he grabbed your arm.

“…show me your research when you come back.”

you nodded shyly, as you avoided his gaze. you are so glad you said your goodbyes at night or else, he would’ve seen your flustered state.

during your stay at inazuma, the vision hunt decree was reinforced. you were forced to stay longer than needed. you hate to admit it but you missed alhaitham. you wished you could tell your adventures to him. you could write to him but it was awkward. you didnt know if he was your friend or not. although you both opened up about random stuff but still. he acts kind off differently with you.

alhaitham misses your voice and your sassiness. he scolded himself because he was supposed to confess however he got too scared. he deeply sighed. throughout your stay at inazuma, he was worried whether you were alive or not. kaveh noticed this and alhaitham finally admits he really likes you but he failed to confess. kaveh was shocked at the sight of softness he observed when he mentioned how much he admires you. as much as he wanted to tease him, he knew better and just gave him advice. alhaitham sent out letters however you never received it though he probably thought you ignored him. you lived in his heart and mind rent free.

time passed and sumeru political problems rose. alhaitham was busy with azar’s stupid shenanigans while you were still busy at tatarasuna island. you made a lot of discoveries, observations and, you even earned an electro vision. you became stronger and you’ve changed over the course of time. though would he still like you even if you’ve changed? does he even remember you?

you are scheduled to go back to sumeru soon since its been forever. a lot of people have been wanting to get out of inazuma. people from fontaine, mondstandt even natlan.

you did have responsibilities to uphold as you were a vahumana sage, though its been so long, they probably removed you. azar didnt particularly like you since you are so open about your opinions and you critique him (respectfully but you hated him). alhaitham quickly noticed how they exclude you in some meetings which was suspicious.

slowly sumeru’s political turmoil has gone to an end because of the people of sumeru and lesser lord kusanali.

the day arrived and you were on your way to sumeru. you were excited and you were ready to present your final research of mysteries if tatarasuna. or at least, for now. you wondered how alhaitham was. how your friends were doing. do they think you’re dead?

“we are about to arrive to port ormos, please make sure to have your belongings ready.” the sailor shouted.

you’ve arrived in sumeru. you are close to sumeru city but not quite there yet. as you stepped out of the boat, you noticed some young scholars who may immediately recognized you. you smiled and waved while you continued to mind your business and stay in the inn at port ormos.

cyno was curious at the inazuman boat that arrived at port ormos. this is one of the first boats that arrived since the vision hunt decree was already gone. he was not expecting to see you.

‘hm maybe alhaitham should just be surprised.’ he thought.

as the days quickly end, you find yourself in front of the entrance sumeru city. you put your hood down to remove suspiciousness from one of the strict matras that were roaming around.

“who are you and what are you doing in this city? we want to avoid visitors at this time due to the fact we are still recovering from the recent turmoil.”

“im (name) and i am the or i guess, the former vahumana sage. due the vision hunt decree, i was unable to go home please let me in.” you stated.

“are you lying?“ blah balha blah this stupid matra would not stop asking questions it irritated you. this earned some attention to the locals and luckily, cyno stepped in.

“she is telling the truth. she is known for her research for tatarasuna and just arrived here the other day at port ormos.“ cyno deeply sighs.

“o-oh! my apologies.” the matra was at disbelief and embarrassed.

you thanked cyno privately and he nodded. he guided you to alhaitham since you asked him where alhaitham was.

on the way you saw familiar faces. dehya and dunyarzard hugged you. you then promised to catch up with them after you see alhaitham in which dehya teases you, then she lets you go.

hands sweating, and heart pumping. you were nervous. cyno could read you in a heartbeat since it was very much obvious.

“does he know im here?” you asked quietly taking the long ass stairs. a long pause occured before he answered.

“no he does not. he was recently chosen to be the acting grand sage therefore that makes him extremely busy. he can explain you the details to what happen to sumeru because he would want to see you.” cyno said.

you turned red/pink but you just chuckled at the fact he is the grand sage. you wonder if his appearance changed since the last time you saw him. is he still roommates with kaveh? you spiral into a bunch of questions. soon, you both arrived at his office and you saw his silver ashen hair drowning in piles of paperwork. before you could turn to cyno, he disappeared. this made you even extremely nervous.

“the grand sage is not available. office hours are closed. it is past 5pm. if you need me come visit tomorrow.” he sighed exasperatingly. not even giving a glance since he was extremely busy with his duties as the acting grand sage.

“okay mr. grand sage azar 2.0!!!! though i thought you wanted to see my final piece for mysteries of tatarasuna, i guess not.” you sarcastically said but deep down your heart could jump out your throat. you couldnt believe who you were seeing.

he knows that voice. the voice that he frequently heard. his favorite voice. he quickly looked up and took in the image that was standing before him.

[totallyveryallosexual]

I just babysat for a kid that was evidence of how gentle parenting (the right way) absolutely does work to produce amazing humans. I've babysat for kids on either end of the spectrum, from the most spoiled little shits whose parents think gentle parenting means giving their kid whatever they want, and kids of parents like mine who use a very authoritarian parenting style.

I talked to his parents for about twenty minutes before they left. They told me about an award he'd won for being respectful at school and then told him explicitly that they were very proud of him. I dunno about anyone else, but I grew up with my parents doing a lot of telling other people they were proud of me but never actually saying it to my face. It was nice to hear on his behalf.

We were talking about plants, and his parents let him plant some seeds in his own area in the backyard (his dad has a garden). He told me that since I want to start a garden, I can get seed trays from Walmart, but not from Superstore because of the boycott. He then explained in an eight year old's terms why we need to boycott Loblaws because they were being unfair and raising prices too much to the point that "people literally can't pay for their food". It really struck me that this was a kid that had had a prominent issue explained to him in a clear, concise, and age appropriate way.

His parents, from the little interaction I saw, speak and interact with him in a very open and respectful way. They explain why they are doing things. They aren't the sort of people that would answer anything with "just because". If he has questions, they answer them. His room is full of encyclopedias and Nat geo magazines that he is genuinely interested in. We saw a butterfly that might have been a monarch and when we got closer he explained to me that it wasn't because it didn't have the right spots on its wings (we figured out together that it was a Red Admiral). He is remarkably well spoken for his age, because his parents speak to him without dumbing things down, while still allowing him to be a child and have fun.

He had thirty minutes of screen time left when I arrived, but he wanted to plant a potato first, and then because we were outside he wanted to shoot a little bit on his net outside (and then we got distracted by the butterflies). We spent like an hour outside, and when he got back to his screen time, his tablet had locked because the parental controls kick in within an hour of his bedtime. I braced for impact here. I've had this happen with kids before who get really upset they can't watch more TV or play games when they've passed their time limits or their parents said they weren't allowed access to their devices for the evening. Honestly this is the fairest case I've dealt with, since it was a weekend night, he had an hour until bed and he thought he would be able to play for thirty more minutes, and he really wanted to show me his Minecraft house.

I told him that he probably wouldn't be able to finish his screen time since I didn't have the passcode to unlock the parental controls, and he was completely ok with it. He was disappointed for sure, but he didn't push it or get angry like kids have before. He took me to see the crystal growing kit he'd gotten for his birthday and we started growing some crystals, and we read a Minecraft book for his bedtime story. It struck me as being pretty emotionally mature.

IDK what I'm talking about but basically this kid was respectful, well spoken and emotionally regulated for his age, and I think a lot of it can be attributed to the fact that his parents care for and respect him without resorting to threats or violence.