#but idk about opening up to a random person now that i'm more secure in my identity and shit

[vacantgodling]

like i could get a therapist but like, how am i supposed to be a tortured artist if i'm not... yknow... tortured

[flaggersribs]

TW: kinda existentialist vent post?? Idfk. Just wrote it. Rambles. Family. Parents. Upbringing. Objectification??? Idk. Not anything super deep, I think. Kinda like a self reflect/shadow work I did unprompted just now

My parents do care about me. But I guess you could say they care about us in a health related way. They've always been obsessed with health foods, exercise, UV rays and all that, and I'm extremely grateful. But I do wish that they'd lessen off that and focus a bit more on emotional health, because I feel like that would've changed a lot. If they'd taken the things I'd said seriously, like my interests, things I genuinely wanted, my passions, for just hobbies that I could enjoy, instead of wanting some sort of "useful" or "healthy" outcome, maybe things would be different now. Of course they always supported my art studies, for example, but I'm saying more little things. Like, random thing they were really obsessed about, piercings. They believed that if you got them too young, like, before 20yo type young, you'd get cancer. There's literally no studies that say they're bad in the long run for you unless it gets infected and whatnot, but they're still all "I trust what a doctor told me thirty years ago" "I won't let you mutilate your body" "Don't trust everything you see on the internet" like??? (As if I wasn't one of the most secure, nerdy aware of online threats people out there) Anyway. If they'd cared more about my worries of physical appearance, how I appear to others, my online presence, etc, I don't think a lot of the bad years would've happened. I also don't think I'd be the same person I was today, which is another thing in grateful for. What I mean is, I wished they'd focus on my soul a little bit more. Not just my physical body and health. If they'd listen when I said I enjoyed things of my country's culture, where I've been all my life, grown up snf experienced, instead of having the narcissistic approach that their opinions reigned supreme. Idk where I'm going with this. I just feel if I had more room left to be open minded and enjoy things, I wouldn't have these irrational anxieties all the time. I wouldn't feel so much like I'm "wasting my time" if I wasn't told about all the things they'd done by my age, which they aren't even giving me the slightest opportunity to do since I went to a private school in this country, lived in the middle of the countryside, devoid of most contact from the world. Of course due to this lack of communication, especially during pandemic, I was gonna spend even more time online and away from my family. So I am extremely grateful for that since I have met some of the most amazing people ever through the internet. Just a few simple clicks away from changing my life. Anyway. Point is, I wish my parents had cared a bit more about me as a person, not as a body, or a vessel to achieve things, but more as one to simply stroll through life and experience things. I'm way too young to be this aware of all this, I'm realizing once again for the millionth time in my life. Usually the midlife crisis happens in your 30's, I think. I'm just hyper aware of my situation that if there really was any way for me to fix things, I would've done so already, because I've done every possible thing to help my situations and will keep doing so. I'm just stuck, and this kind of upbringing is one of the many reasons why.

[songmingisthighs]

WHY I WENT MIA

spoiler alert : it's not alien abduction

tw : everything triggering, read at your own risk

so i almost comitted suicide several times around the 24th-25th

it all began when i was a child but we don't have time for that crap so i'm gonna cut to the chase.

Recently things has been pretty hard for me with financial issues and stress over what the fuck i'm doing with my life, not to mention the ridiculous pressure my parents put on me (in a way that i had told them would not be effective on me as it would just cause me harm esp to my mental health that both my parents, esp my mom, decide to ignore) and my extended family, and what i want, and it was all just ridiculous. Not to mention something specific happened recently that kinda just made me gave up because it felt like a betrayal, abandonment, and the way it happened was just so absolutely unfair and out of the blue like i wasn't even informed of what happened until i seek for answers myself. It was just horrible and i was really going to go through with it. I had suicide notes ready and everything and i could've decided to do it on the 23rd but it was yunho's birthday and i wasn't gonna miss that so my options were on the 24th or 25th bc my parents were gone and had anything happened, i wouldn't be rushed to the hospital.

I was alone and i felt alone despite having one last friend to talk to but that friend was just sooooo so so so far away and idk it felt hopeless. It wasn't until i accidentally hinted to someone about what i was gonna do and they figured it out and after a whole shenanadoodles (at first this person was like "i can't be selfish, i can't keep you here because who tf am i?") and some words used on me, that person accidentally canceled my self destruction. It was literally something that no one had ever said to me in a sense of the intention and the words used. It was literally "you can't go anywhere now, you're staying to write for me" and it wasn't the sentiment that i HAVE to live for this person now, but it was the fact that i was given a purpose. this person wanted me and they have plans for me and that gave me an immediate feeling of security. It's so stupid, i know but it happened. That was what happened and i'm still at shock because that person said they didn't even know that it would work.

if someone goes to you, telling you they wanna end their life, i implore you to NEVER say "don't do it, but i'm not gonna stop you". because that kinda feels like you don't care and by god, this person is already suicidal now you're telling them that YOU wouldn't care whether or not they leave ???????

i can't speak for other people with suicidal tendencies or behaviour but i'm so glad to have the friends that i have rn. I used to say i don't have much friends but oh my god after being open about this, i realized how many friends i have and how easy it is to ask someone to be your friend.

I'm sharing this to not upset anyone but because i want my blog to be a very transparent and open space. I don't feel normal because i don't see people sharing about their experience esp with suicidal behaviour and/or tendencies bc it's a taboo and it's potentially triggering. that's why i don't feel normal and it makes me think that since i'm not welcomed, i'm not like anyone, i should just not be here. Someone told me to remove myself from uncomfortable situations and i took it to a whole new level. It didn't occur to me how much people cared for me and seriously, i'm just so very thankful. I know i have a long way to go and i'm gonna have more hardships to come, but right now i feel like the people who i have around me can help me even by just doing stupid shit like sending ateez pics or telling a random annecdote or even frantically trying to find a topic that can distract me.

this space that i have created is a safe space. I personally don't get triggered by other people's experience but i get it. honestly, i want to make a safe, open space for people but i just don't know how to. but that's basically what happened to me this past week.

to everyone who are still with me today, i want to thank all of you so much and while i don't know how to thank each of you privately or directly, i just want you to know i love you so much. God the love i received these past couple of days has just been making my heart feel full and honestly it kinda feels like i'm gonna pee. but eh what do i know.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary163

2/24-25/2024

saturday - sunday

heard three gunshots just now.

i'm not like freaked out or whatever but i always wonder what's going on with that. i wonder i guess if it's the armed security around all the apartment complexes around here, sounds too far to be ours but near enough to be like, around here. like why do you need to fire 3 times. idk. i just feel like i guess if you're shooting a gun 3 times you're definitely trying to kill somebody, i hope nobody is being killed, especially by random security people. or maybe there doesn't need to be an especially. it's grotesque i guess to act like any death would be better, it's just a travesty in the first place that people think the security is necessary, that is an awful part stuck to all this. i think i'll basically be fine as long as i'm not wandering around at 2 am and stuff, obviously. it's most likely, i guess, just people shooting guns to shoot guns, so it's not a big deal i suppose. it's interesting, i've always been near-ish gunshots basically, but the frequency was like, a couple times a month, it wasn't uncommon but it also wasn't like, crazy, there were a few times where stuff ramped up and i'd see things like shells on my way to the school bus or to college but that didn't really phase me, i guess because more of a picture appeared by morning when i was out walking, i'd see the police cars out there, i knew who was shooting at who basically so it wasn't like, a question of why/what, and when it was at its normal rate, it just wasn't especially interesting i guess, there was more distance + it really did seem like that'd be the rate at which people just shoot randomly. like, oh, i wanna shoot my gun into the air lol, and then they go back inside. since it's closer it just punctuates more i guess, i mean it does that crazy thing where like, there's a vacuum of sound in the echo, it's not so close that it like, actually sounds like 0/nothing, but the echo carries that shape, if you know what i mean. it's also probably because i'm tired from work and stuff, my head hurts, i worked too long today, i wasn't even supposed to i just had to. it doesn't matter though, i am home now. but it's hard to go and work on music rn. i am soo tired and i only ate when i got home today, i woke up at like, 11:30-ish, and i got home and ate at about 10:40, so that's like 11 hours and ten mins of not eating (i worked from 4:30 to 10:16ish). it's kind of good i guess, to me, idk, maybe that's bad or whatever but it's not too bad to me, to not eat a lot, idk, it feels useful, like idk, i do just want to stay skinny. idk. i do eat so it's not like, very bad, it's just intermittent fasting or whatever, honest (not cope i swear not coping (lol)), it's not like that every day, i just use work to do that sometimes, esp since i need to pay to eat there and the food looks disgusting basically. it's like, idk, i kind of like going long without things. i guess it's because of being raised catholic or whatever, you get this thing where you get off on withholding things from yourself and suffering, taking on suffering, that kind of thing.

listening to the problem song now, i am certain that there's something in the low-end that needs to be eq-ed out, this weird resonance, it might be something super specific i need to eq out, if it is, that's good, i thinkk.

anyway i am really tired, i am just sitting here listening to combatwoundedveteran and feeling tired, they really made perfect music, for a certain sort of person. even if my head hurts i can listen to this shit. i just like it that much.

oh, one last thing, about reading, i've gotten to the part of cybernetic hypothesis that's about ways/methods/lines of flight (as the book puts it) that open up possibility, essentially guerilla methods, one hand is the taking pleasure in desire perversely, and then shutting one self up, volunteering nothing, they reference bartleby here with "i would prefer not to," that kind of oscillating, as well as actual references to what wider/more materially aggressive sorts of tactics might be. this kind of all coalescing around the idea that basically many cybernetic apparatuses are geared to, at extremes, manage panic, and so, panic being the nightmare of cybernetic organizing/management, we ought to open ourselves up to panic/fear in some way. i would like to articulate that better/how i read it better, but i'm just so tired. it's hard. but essentially it recalls bataille to me (who they criticize at points in the book (rightfully, as much as i love him, he is wrong in certain ways (even baudrillard has gone here and it's very fascinating))), anyway, it recalls the necessity of horror, or the experience of horror, not even necessarily in its attachment to sacrifice (which is one thing specifically criticized, the idea that sacrifice could/would be this thing that could deliver us/provide an escape from capitalism, this fantasy of pre-capital return, basically (here too is where baudrillard saw issue with bataille)), but horror as an opening up to, sensation of everything, where you absorb so much, you are sent elsewhere, you are taken out of yourself, as the book puts it, the crowd disintegrates in the crowd, we all horrified, we do not withdraw, but we exit, we exit ourselves, and then we exit sociality. here is a convergence with the carnivalesque, where the obscene and grotesque is held at such length to perturb and captivate, a stage where one might engage perversely, and then to shut up, a silence which will not tell on itself, only absorbing or even discarding everything but the intensities surrounding oneself. this is an oscillation, necessarily, sticking oneself to an oscillation of this nature means, among other things, productivity in the regular sense would be impossible, at least in terms of appraisal by our managers/meter/measures.

(there is a level where i wonder about a critique of tiqqun here, i suppose, or maybe a defense from a critique that would accuse them of being squarely reactionary here (i cannot parse what i think, but my sense that what they seek is aligned more w/ the carnivalesque and grotesque (and asking one to not turn away but embrace these rather than to embrace what wipes these away/would seek to absorb the signs/symbols of these things back into itself as defanged and speaking regularly, normalizing in a way so as to force it into discourse w/ the normal/using cybernetic apparatuses of agitation to coax these things into some kind of guilty conscience, shame, whatever) i do not think they are reactionary) i suppose i have come across my answer to this problem here in this aside, already, or at least some of the answer. i am not sure.)

another thing, i guess, is reaching this point, i see why a friend didn't like it, but i think accusing this book of being neo-luddite theory is squarely wrong + idk, she is honestly quite obsessed w/ efficiency as it is laid out in the cybernetic sense. i do like her, but her aspiration is to be a manager, in some way, a manager of flows, thought, and so on. she wants to direct. i suppose one could accuse her of desiring being an apparatus, but i don't think it's squarely true, i think she wants to want to be, is ashamed and ashamed of being ashamed of it, it's a complex, basically, i suppose.

anyway i also read this:

this was quite good, it's hard to articulate my thoughts/what it says, so i will instead talk about what i would like to absorb from it, where its end is quite strong and everything, and leaves much to think over, i think many of the historical insights it offers are the meat, or i guess they obviously are, but they can be approached from so many angles, reused, essentially he puts valuable information there, i hope to remember it. i'm not sure why this is sticking to me, this thought about what i want to learn, it's good i think, but it's also i guess kind of neurotic. i fear, very often, that i am really quite stupid. i would like to not be, i think this is just part of that. anyway, i am very glad will's writing/thinking is something i've been exposed to recently, because he is bringing me back to foucault, who i'd read in the past and learned much from, and now there is more to learn. it's just nice to be reunited i suppose, with the man.

so now i really do have to sleep, sso

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[navstuffs]

hiii! i discovered your blog today and i already have read all of your Robert Pattinson works! I'm looking for more Robert Pattinson writings and I'm glad I found you, and since I did and ur requests are open, i have a fanfic idea if u are up to it!

it's a robert x fem!reader in which the reader is his co-star and they are doing all these YouTube interviews. one of the hosts asks the reader a rude or a very personal question about her family (she has daddy issues) and Robert snaps at the interviewer and gets super protective of her.

feel free to make any changes or not to write it at all!🥰

-mar

Safe Harbor

Pairing: Robert Pattinson x Female Famous!Reader

Warnings: language, mention and description of shitty relationship with dad, dads being an asshole, rude reporter

Summary: When a reporter snoozes too much on (Y/N)'s personal life, Robert is there to cut her off.

Authors note: first of all, i apologize for taking so long to write this. i had some personal issues going on so i hope from the bottom of my heart you enjoy this! thank you so much for requesting as well! my fangirl loves writing protective rob lol i apologize already for any Kaitlyn reading this, i hope i didn't offend you. London News is made up. idk if i did the daddy issues correctly, so i hope there are no mistakes on my part over that

Working with (Y/N) was easy as everyone warned him. She was a professional actress, always focused on what needed to happen onset most easily. She didn't make it hard for anyone on the crew or actors, always lighting up everyone's day with a silly joke. So it wasn't hard for Robert Pattinson to become friends with her. She was great. Special. As everyone advertised.

Robert told himself he wasn't going to develop a crush. He wasn't. But it was hard when he was suddenly texting (Y/N) every day. Face timing her to tell the silliest things, although not being in the same time zone as her. Seeing and making fun of her sleeping face. Sending funny dumb memes or random selfies so he could make her happy.

When it was finally time for their interviews together for their most new scientific movie, he was thrilled. Rob hadn't seen her for at least six months and he was eager to be in (Y/N)'s presence again. For to her to be in London again. With him.

When they met again, they hugged. (Y/N) could swear she saw Robert running in her direction, her security team didn't even process his approximation. They hugged like there was no one around, until someone cleared their throat, calling them back to reality. Now, Robert couldn't deny what he felt anymore: He had the biggest of the crushes on (Y/N).

They proceed to the interviews as a pair, since they were the main couple of the movie. It was a day full, some interviews in different languages, some more casual and fun, some more serious. They were finally with the last reporter, Kaitlyn from London News. It started well, with Kaitlyn praising both (Y/N) and Robert for such incredible chemistry and acting.

"You know, in the movie, your character (Y/N) struggles a lot. Especially with the need of being approved by her dad, almost influencing the romance with Robert's character. Did your personal experiences with your dad influence this somehow?"

Dead silence after Kaitlyn asked that. (Y/N) seemed stunned, looking at her team for support. She didn't know the news of her dad's open letter to her were going to arrive so fast in London. After her dad went to TMZ, telling everyone that could hear what a horrible, despiteful daughter she was, abandoning her poor sick father in a nursing home, without any financial support, when he needed his daughter the most. Not that anyone cared to know when she was a child, he used to always be drunk. Or when (Y/N) was sixteen and he left her, without a call or a letter. Nada. No news for the rest of her life, before all of this mess. She thought he was dead and heck, it was much better like that. How did this Kaitlyn already know this? It hadn't been published yet, her team heard TMZ was going to launch only the next day.

"I am sorry?" (Y/N) still looked for her team, while Robert sit confused, eyes going from (Y/N) to Kaitlyn.

"I have read the open letter and it is surprising how your character and you are look alike. All I want to know is if your personal experiences helped form that as well? In the construction of the character? Since you know how bad and asshole a dad can be?"

(Y/N) was speechless. She couldn't really say anything because the letter didn't even come out, officially. (Y/N) couldn't confirm and give what this woman wanted. She actually only discovered that when she was almost in there for the interviews. (Y/N) and her team didn't have time to prepare anything for her to say.

Also, she had almost forgotten all of this while she was hugging Robert. He had this magical power over her to make her problems go away.

"Excuse me, but why you are asking this type of question? No one asked that type of personal question today?" Robert interrupted, shifting on his chair uncomfortably.

"Oh, nothing. Just for, you know, profiling the character and-"

"I don't think you are profiling the character at all, I think you are trying to profile (Y/N)! And quite frankly, being very rude in all of this. What business is of yours her personal life?" Robert now seemed very agitated, his angry stare at Kaitlyn. No one was going to insult (Y/N) in front of him like that and he would simply stay quiet.

"Well, I didn't mean to be rude. The fans want to know."

Robert was going to say where she could shove this curiosity but upon hearing a soft sob coming from (Y/N), his patience cut short. He needed to get out of there before he could commit a mistake.

"This interview is over." Robert decided, getting up. He signaled to the crew, two assistants already blocking Kaitlyn's way. "Come on, (Y/N), we don't have to stay here."

He grabbed her arm gently, helping her out of there. Robert could see (Y/N) was about to cry so he took her into his dressing room, asking the rest of the team following them for five minutes, before closing the door. (Y/N) sit on the sofa, hiding her face in her hands. Robert sit by her side, keeping his hands to himself until she needed him.

"He was a shitty dad. The worse fucking dad ever. How can he come back now and ask for love? How can he?" (Y/N) protested between her cries.

Robert didn't say anything, remaining at her side. After ten long minutes, she cleaned her tears, looking for his blue eyes. Robert was there, giving her a worried smirk.

"Are you okay, (Y/N)? You need some water?"

"I am fine, Rob, thank you. Thank you for what you did in there. I really don't know how she knew! It is not even out officially!"

"You know how those people are. As soon as they can drag someone's name on the mud, they will. That's what they do for living. Especially against someone so amazing like you." Robert completed, staring deeply into (Y/N)'s eyes.

She smiled back, searching for his hands. They interlocked their fingers together, holding tightly. (Y/N) had forgotten about Kaitlyn and her annoying questions. Again, Rob's power over her. They sit there in silence, a calm moment for themselves. It was nice knowing (Y/N) could always count with Robert as her safe harbor. Robert enjoyed this. He enjoyed being with (Y/N) even if was to sit down and hold her hands. He couldn't wait to invite her to all sorts of things in London, forget about her dad to have fun with him. He couldn't wait.

Taglist: @uwiuwi

MASTERLIST | REQUESTS ARE OPEN | TAGLIST

[fandomwritingbit-main]

Tanner kidnapping a reader (Scrutinized Game)

WARNING: about kidnapping, lots of swearing and reference to a gun and syringe. (Mdni)

Notes: Tanner from the game scrutinized kidnapping the reader ig lol. I'm not gonna apologise for changing Tanner's personality a bit, whilst I love how weird and nerdy he is in the game's true ending, nothing like you'd imagine a fecking kidnapper, I wanted to make him a bit more ... idk banter-y and he is definitely english-ified cos its the only way that ik how to write lol.

~

Rolling your eyes, you open the Suspicious Person Report, annoyed because anyone would  be surprised how many of these reports were faked. It seems that some people like to file random things just for the banter. It makes you angry. Sitting here, back stiff, eyes aching, on your third cup of coffee in as many hours; with arseholes wasting your time with false reports. The one you were skimming through now, involved a young woman who's neighbours had overheard screaming and other worrying noises coming from her house. Seems interesting at a first glance but a quick look at her social medias through SocialSpy, told you that once again, nothing was wrong. She was a goddamn streamer who'd just had a horror marathon - of-pissing-course. A joke really that some stepford wife lady would file this. Come on, it doesn't take Sherlock to tell if screaming is on a TV or not.

You close all your investigative tabs and drag the SPR to the shredder, happy that another report was sorted, but exasperated that there were upwards of ten to go. Alas, not a lot you can do. But before you can open the next report, you remind yourself to check the security cameras. A lot of rumours had been circling that criminals were stepping up their game in targeting people like you, a extra precautions were warranted.

When your SecCam app connected, you saw nothing as expected. Flicking through haphazardly, you see something move. The grainy quality of the camera made it hard to see what it was, but there was something. You zoom in and the view of your front garden becomes more and more pixilated. Whatever had moved and caught your eye - was gone and your brain decided to blame it on the neighbours cat. You ignore it and return to the SPR.

~

Just as you are looking through a later report your connection dies. Damn it. God damn it. You say to yourself as you strain to get up from your desk. Back aching. Once again, just a as you were mid-processing a case, seconds away from finalisation, the wifi disconnected. This was ludicrous.

Nervously you turn around, an odd feeling of being exposed crossed you. And a small part of your brain imagined what would happen is someone was there. Those new BOLOs had you rattled. Mercifully there was nothing, just your empty living room, illuminated by a dimming light bulb and the hypnotising light of your desktop. This was an inconvenience, an inconvenience that could cause you to miss a case. Absolutely ridiculous.

You huff your way down the hall, periodically looking behind you to settle your frantic nerves. You wore a pistol on your hip that was heavy and cold to the touch. It was dangerous and personally you didn't agree with the gun control laws in your country, however when in your line of work, it helped to have some protection. Working for the law and convicting the evil bastards of the world, made you a massive target for the ones in hiding. That is why being exposed in the hallway worried you so much. And to top it off, as you walked past the bathroom you were sure you heard someone whisper something.

It sent shivers down your spine and implored you to gingerly pry open the bathroom door... it was empty. The small room completely as you left it, untouched, the window still bolted. Hearing things, you conclude and scurry out of the room, closing the door behind you. Was it possible to be so tired that you could imagine an intruder? Perhaps...

Swiftly reaching your target - the cupboard in your room - you reset the wifi dongle, wait for it to sort itself out, then turn it back on. All done, now back to work.

As you open the door to the room and step out, a noise made you freeze. Looking up you see a man wearing a white lab coat peeking at you around the corner. Your heart stopped, as dread clawed up your spine. Unable to move, you could only watch as the perpetrator put a finger to his lips mischievously and ducked back, disappearing from your view.

It was utterly silent and you had no idea what to do. You could move now, your brain regaining control, but devastatingly you had no other choice than to confront your new house guest.

Each step towards the living room was torturous, the sound bouncing through the apartment - allowing the assailant to know of your every move. But unbeknownst to him, you were strapped.

You round the corner, the gun now clutched tightly in your palm. He was nowhere to be seen...

Fuck.

It took you a moment to realise that the cupboard next to the corner was closed. Unlike before. You had him. There was no where else he could be, except there. Hiding in the cupboard, waiting for you to open it - no doubt he would then pounce, attacking you in whatever way he had planned. You felt comfort in the knowledge of where he was, but now you had no choice but to "introduce yourself".

Breathing to steady your nerves, you point the gun at the door. And speak.

"Listen here you prick, I have a gun. Open the door slowly and I might not use it." You tried to speak in an authoritarian manner, but the fear in your voice could be heard. Inside the cupboard you could hear the man laughing. As he chuckled, the door knob began turning.

Seconds later the man emerged, arms raised slightly, as a form of surrender. You notice a syringe of unknown liquid held between two of his fingers.

"Well... this is awkward." The assailant said, finding some humour, even though you had him at gun point.

"No shit. Drop the syringe." You had more weight to your voice now you had him in your sights and the element of surprise was gone.

"I'd rather not. This stuff is expensive." He spoke with a level of intelligence and perhaps even mockery, it annoyed you, but you had to keep calm.

"Put it on the table then... just get rid of it." He laughed at you again.

"I'd rather put it in your neck, but... sure." The man walked slowly towards the side table and placed his syringe down. He then turned sharply to look at you.

The swiftness of the movement made you jump, but you managed to stifle it and keep your pistol aimed at him. He gave you a look that you interpreted as, 'what now?' You'd already decided however and were hesitant to commit. Alas you followed your training, and swung the gun at the man's head in a futile attempt to knock him unconscious.

Much to your anguish, the perpetrator grabbed your arm just as it was about to collide with his skull.

"Nearly dear..." he tutted. You wrench your arm free, and point the gun back at him. Your breath is shaking and your chest raises up and down sporadically. The reality that he very easily could have disarmed you, didn't go amiss. He was around six foot and probably weighed a lot more than you, and yet he didn't try to take the gun away from you. It was unnerving.

"Go sit. Over there." You rasp, almost becoming unhinged.

"You know, I'm beginning to think that you are all talk, dear. Is the gun even loaded?"

In spite of yourself (and your situation) you sniggered,

"Yeah, and if you want to find out for sure, I can show you." You gesture harshly with the gun as you speak, shaking it at the assailant.

He mouthed "oooooooh" in a school yard way, blatantly making fun of you.

The intruder paced his way to the chair in the corner and took a seat, placing one foot on the others knee and looking surprisingly relaxed. It was clear to you that there is something wrong with this guy, what sick person finds humour and even pleasure from being held at gun point.

"Are you going to tie me up?... its not my thing... but I'll try it." Much to your dismay you couldn't stop a smirk grazing your lips, what an audacious prick, a lascivious, salacious bastard. The smile was in sheer disbelief and a small part of you had some admiration for his unbothered attitude, and the offender found this monstrously funny. You hung your head in shame attempting to conceal the snickering. Feeling almost embarrassed, like giggling in front of a strict teacher. However you kept your head on straight and got to work fulfilling this creep's kink.

~

"Nice and tight." You muttered, as you triple checked the security of the rope. You were curious about this man, what his motives are, why he hadn't tried to escape, who he was; so you grabbed another chair and set it in front of the criminal.

He was handsome, for a potential kidnapper. He had a perfect jawline that appeared to be sculpted by the Gods. Additionally he had immaculate dark hair, not a single strand out of place. And his eyes, god, his eyes. They were dark hazel, entrapped by long eyelashes and it was clear that they housed a very intelligent and well-educated soul. Why the hell, would someone like him do this? He could be a model, for God's sake. You clear your head and remember the situation, now is not the time to admire someone.

"Who are you?" You spoke sternly, awaiting an answer, suddenly tired of everything.

"Why, isn't this an interesting method." He mused, was he attempting to rile you up? If so, it was working. For goodness sake it was 4:43 in the morning, you didn't have time for this.

"Come on, what is your name? I need something to put on the report." this was true.

"Tanner, sweetheart. And you're y/fn. You're 27 and a private investigator... I know all about you." He tilted his head to one side, looking you up and down whilst he stretched the word all. It was clear that this Tanner guy had done his research.

"Why are you here? What do you want from me?" You were impatient now. It felt like you were getting no answers. And this bastards cheery disposition and mocking tone was royally pissing you off. But despite all his unbothered front, sat now opposite him you noticed the bouncing of his leg: he was nervous. That made you smile, his stage personality clearly wasn't as thorough as he'd have liked. Tanner shook his head in response to your questioning.

"Come on, leave something to the imagination." He smiled as he spoke, acting as if this were a normal conversation.

You stood up, rubbing your eyes. You need a break. It was as if the nights events were all coming down on you at once. Looking back at your prisoner, you decided to go and file the report now... and question this prick later.

"Where are you going? Bored already? They weren't kidding when they said you never stopped." He was trying to engage you, egg you on, and although you were interested, you knew that you needed 10 minutes to get your head together. You make the decision and walk off, sitting in your room, leaving the door open.

Turning on your work phone, you opened your emails and began formulating a report. You fill in what little information you know,

Name : Tanner (allegedly)

Age : 25-35

Education: n/a - Obviously highly educated (manner of speech ect)

Height : around 6ft

Weight : n/a

Eyes : brown/hazel

Hair : br...

However it wasn't long before exhaustion took hold and keeping your eyes open became impossible. You fall asleep lying back on your bed, your phone still on and abandoned beside you.

~

A while later, you jolt awake... or attempt to, as something held you down firm. It took a moment for your eyes to adjust and take in what you were seeing.

"Good morning..." the voice was Tanner's and reality hit you like a tonne of bricks. He was straddling you, his legs gripping your hips tightly. While one of his hands lightly caressed your face. His finger moved from you cheekbone to your lips and made the hairs on the back of your neck stand to attention.

"Sleep well?" He added, no meaness in his voice, only mockery. It was then that you caught sight of the syringe clasped in his hand. The same one from earlier. How stupid of you to not remove it. He noticed your horrified expression and put two and two together.

"Don't worry, it doesn't hurt." He cooed.

He moved his position to hold your hands together in one of his and moved the syringe closer to you. The point was pressed against the side of your neck, then slowly traced further down, causing you to shiver. Your heart skipped a beat when he leaned in closer, so close that you could feel the sensation of his breath on your skin.

"Not up to playing? That's okay... soon we'll have all the time in the world..." you gasped at the statement, understanding what was about to transpire. Your eyes opened even wider as you thrashed underneath him. All your attention was fixated on the syringe and its inevitable insertion.

"God," he muttered, almost whispering in your ear. "tonight is going to be great."

And with that, the syringe was pressed into your throat, you couldn't feel anything, or see anything for that matter. All that remained was the thought that this monster was kidnapping you.

Then everything went black.

~

if you made it this far, imma shoot my shot: have a looksie at fandomwritingbit (my side blog for exactly this sort of thing) I’m always after writing some Tanner stuff sfw and not, so give us a shout. 

[jemej3m]

Random au idea I had but will never work on but you might enjoy: Andrew is Kevin's bodyguard. Neil is hired to kill Kevin. (in my mind it was also a fantasy au because that's what I'm writing atm but it could work either way tbh idk)

i love this idea!!!! if you’re looking for something similar, with old courts and alliances, i can recommend @gluupor‘s version here!! its amazing 

but ur wish is my command lmao so heres 2000 words on neil and andrew with the assassin/bodyguard trope lmao

*

Neil eyed the gun with mild distaste. He knew Ichirou liked the finality of the gun, the fear it inspired in one’s eyes, but Neil just thought it was messy. 

Efficient, sure, but loud. And cumbersome. And so obvious you’re holding a gun. 

He had knives instead. 

Like father like son, his mother said scathingly. She was long gone, having taken his father right down to hell with her, but that left Neil with a criminal empire and his father’s shoes to fill. 

“Get rid of Kevin Day.” Ichirou had said, lounging in front of a fire. Neil had been seated next to him, taut and rigid, like he always was around Ichirou.

Neil wasn’t insane enough to ask why, but Ichirou soldiered on anyway. 

“My father wanted him as an asset but I see him as a loose end. I had to get rid of Riko because of that man and my brother’s jealous tendencies: He knows too much.”

Neil remembered that. He’d handed Ichirou the gun. 

“He’ll be dead within a month.” Neil promised, trying to not let his voice betray how husk-like he felt. 

*

The first problem he encountered was: Kevin Day was loved publicly, and for good reason. 

Whatever. Neil would poison him and he’d be dead before the weekend arrived, with slow-acting Ricin to put distance between Neil and Kevin’s soon-to-be-corpse. 

That would be, if Neil could even get remotely close to Kevin. 

But he couldn’t. 

He’d commandeered the neighbouring flat to Kevin’s, among the gorgeously glittering glass scapes of New York City. He lived here, too, but it was never in the metropolitan area. He lived on Ichirou’s estate with was further north, or spent time in his Baltimore jurisdiction. 

Becoming Kevin’s new neighbour was relatively simple: He’d simply sent the old woman an invitation to an eternal retreat up in Canada, after looking at her search history (he never wanted to look at an elderly woman’s search history again). She packed up her bags, and Neil slipped in easily, paying the first three months of rent up-front and bypassing the security checks for such a prestigious living space with his new alias: Neil Josten. 

He liked the name Neil. Sue him. It was more comfortable to wear than Nathaniel.

It was upon moving into the apartment that he realised: Kevin Day was never alone. He was with his fianceé, Thea Muldani, who looked as equally adept in militant training as she was in Exy. He was surrounded by his team or the press. 

Or, as Neil reluctantly discovered, he was being watched by Andrew Minyard’s careful eye. 

A quick search on Minyard revealed many things. He’d been a Doe, he’d been to juvie, he’d been involved in multiple cases on child sexual assault as a witness. This wasn’t public information: This was just Neil’s awfully good technological ministrations. 

He also had a degree in criminology from Palmetto, which was where Neil assumed he and Kevin grew close enough that Kevin would trust his protection to Andrew. 

Context was great and all, but Neil couldn’t figure out a way around Minyard for the life of him. Sometimes, when they went out clubbing to a downtown establishment called Eden’s, he would disappear for ten minutes. It was an impossible window, seeing as Kevin was never alone. 

Neil decided the only solution was to grow close enough to Andrew that he could gain the man’s trust and slip around him. His habits were routine, and he took his smoke breaks on the balcony that aligned with Neil’s. 

So every morning, Neil would be leaning on the railing with a cup of coffee and a cigarette. Every morning, Minyard would slid open the door, and step out. He usually wouldn’t even look in Neil’s direction. No cordial good morning, not even a nod. 

Neil would have to catch the man’s interest. 

He’d been lucky in that his father had kept his scar-making to Neil’s torso. If Neil’d face had been disfigured, he’d be too noticeable as an assassin. He had recognisable features as it was: His red hair and blue eyes were recognisable as it was. 

So he wore an over-sized t-shirt that slipped off his shoulder and showed the worst of his scarring: a puckered bullet wound with an arc of a knife-blade through it for good measure, and the imprint of a clothes iron on his shoulder. Both were bright red against his skin and impossible to miss. 

A phone was jammed between his shoulder and his chin as he took a drag from his cigarette, hearing the door slide open. 

“…No, don’t be fucking stupid. No one can know about this. Can you imagine how much scrutiny I’d be under if they found out who it was? They wouldn’t be able to bring me down but I’d have a hell of a lot of work to do to avoid that. No, I have to go. Don’t fuck up whilst I’m gone.”

He threw his phone onto the ottoman and let out an aggravated huff, stamping out his cigarette on the railing. He shook his pack and found only a lighter, throwing the empty cartridge over the balcony with faux-frustration. 

“Quit being dramatic.” Came a voice to his right. 

Neil glanced to where Minyard was standing at the near-edge of the balcony, offering his pack. The two balconies were close enough that Neil could reach out, remaining hesitant, to take one. 

He lit it and brought it to his jaw, as was habit. “Thank you.”

“You’re wasting the nicotine.” The man insisted, with a detached gaze at Neil’s shoulder. 

Neil rose an eyebrow, pulling the shirt’s neckline up and over his scars to cover them once more. The man let his gaze flit from the shoulder to Neil’s face. “I’m more of a passive smoker.”

“Pathetic.” Minyard muttered. “You owe me a whole pack.”

Neil grinned. “Seems like a bit of a steep price.” 

“Interest rates are a killer.” He mulled. “I’m expecting it tomorrow morning, or I’ll hike the debt up to two packs.”

“Seems reasonable.” Neil let the smoke curl over his tongue before breathing it out through his nose. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning?”

“I’ll finish that if you won’t.” Andrew gestured to the coffee in Neil’s other hand. 

“Black and bitter? Not many people have my taste.”

The man made a scathing noise. “You’re a detriment to the human race.”

Neil put the cigarette between his lips and gave Minyard a two-finger salute. “See you tomorrow.”

Minyard hummed. 

Neil slid the balcony door shut behind him and grinned to himself. This would be fucking easy. 

*

Andrew didn’t know who Kevin’s (and by proxy, his) new neighbour was, but he was intrigued. By the sounds of the phone-call, he didn’t seem so noble, and neither did the curl to his grin. He owed Andrew for the cigarette which meant he’d see him again, and would be able to assess him once more. 

Kevin had slept like a black-out drunk after getting home from his away game, almost collapsing onto the couch. He hadn’t actually gotten black-out drunk for years, but sometimes Andrew wondered how someone acted like such a hangover without a single drop of alcohol in their system. 

He’d woken at six, as he usually did, feeling more than a little sleep-deprived. After a light workout on the rowing machine and breakfast in front of the TV, he took his coffee outside. 

There he was again. Andrew would be lying if he said the man wasn’t absolutely blessed in the appearance department, but it’d be entirely inappropriate to get with someone he’d have to see regularly after the fact. 

The man smiled from behind his mug, wearing a tight wife-beater and sweatpants that hung deliciously low on his hips with a dressing gown thrown over the top. No scars were on show, barring the slight raised bump across his hip that the tightness of his shirt revealed. 

“Here,” He said, throwing the pack at Andrew despite being probably 15 storeys above the ground. “I took one. Cash exchange percentage.”

Andrew scoffed. 

“I’m Neil, by the way.” He offered. “Neil Josten.”

“Andrew Minyard.”

“Thought so.” The man sipped on his coffee. Neil Josten. An ordinary name for such an eccentric person. “Didn’t want seem like a creep and start gushing about Day’s stats when we hadn’t even introduced ourselves yet.”

“Don’t you dare.” Andrew grunted. “I hear enough from the man himself.”

Neil laugh was a singular huff, twisting his face into something more gleeful. He leaned his elbow on the railing, facing Andrew with his head in his palm. “You’re not an Exy fan?”

“Over-exposed, you could say.” Andrew wanted to figure out Neil’s intentions. Not many continued to talk to Andrew, not when his resting gaze was somewhat murderous. What had Nicky once said? Bored murderer. Andrew would kill you and probably yawn whilst doing so.

“I gave up on pursuing it a while ago for more…” He cocked his head to the other side. “Lucrative occupations. But it’s still good to see a game every now and then. What are you, his boyfriend?”

Now that was an obvious question. “Bodyguard. Fucker seems to attract just as much bad attention as he does good attention. I’d rather throw myself off this balcony than date that mess of a human being.” 

Neil laughed again. He didn’t have a coffee or a cigarette: He’d come purely for conversation.  

Interesting, Andrew mused. 

*

Neil was getting bored, and the time constraint he’d set himself was coming to an end. He’d been living next to Kevin and Andrew for three weeks now, and Ichirou would be expecting some form of results in a few days’ time. 

Neil had met with Andrew for evening smoke breaks rather frequently, though mornings had become staple. Tonight Neil had offered a cigarette, self-rolled with a relaxant mixed into it so that he’d sleep heavily and let Neil do his snooping. 

When midnight had passed, Neil pulled his hood up and his scarf over his nose, swinging from his balcony onto Andrew’s. With a soft snick! the lock came clean under the ministrations of his picks and he slipped inside. 

He thought the place would be like Neil’s: Neither Kevin nor Andrew really seemed sentimental, or materialistic. 

Neil was horribly wrong. There was an old couch that looked like they’d hauled it from their college years all the way through to now. A knitted blanket throw was across the back cushions, facing the television. A gas fire-place had various photos on the mantelpiece, including Kevin proposing to Thea, Kevin and an older man who had to be his father and someone who would have looked like Andrew if it weren’t for the quiet smile hugging a heavily pregnant woman. Neil realised Andrew had a twin: Another photo of him showed Andrew, his brother, and a taller man with a darker complexion and a wide grin to contrast the twin’s blank faces sat toward the edge of the photo collection. 

It was odd, seeing how one’s life could expand to so many others. There was an odd sensation at the pit of Neil’s stomach: He grit his teeth and continued to the bedrooms. 

One was locked, the other wasn’t: Neil was right in assuming Kevin’s was the unlocked door and walked into his room. 

He was asleep, sprawled on his bed with his sheets wrapped around his waist. His fianceé was lying next to him, curled into his side with only a bra on. Neil wasn’t fazed: He’d killed people in far less favourable conditions, like that corrupt debt tycoon who’d hired Neil as a prostitute and welcomed him in only a leather harness. And when Neil said only, he meant only. 

Neil looked around the room. It was small, relatively neat, with large windows and an ensuite bathroom. He could stage an overdose: Kevin did have an alcohol problem in college. It seemed like the only viable option, seeing as Kevin was a world-class athlete with no recorded cardiovascular problems, no other drug abuses or suicidal tendencies. 

Neil sighed. He wished Ichirou would give him simpler jobs sometimes. He supposed that was his designed purpose: What was the point of sending out your incredibly precise and professional assassin to knock heads when their talents were best sharpened by intricate puzzles, forcing them to be as elusive as shadows in a crowd?

Neil brushed his fingers along the dresser, ignoring the photo hung on the wall of Kevin and Thea, not smiling, but completely vulnerable and open when looking into one another’s eyes. 

Neil wouldn’t lie and tell someone this job wasn’t isolating. He just didn’t have a choice. 

I don’t have a choice, He repeated to himself. I don’t have a choice. 

A shift on the mattress caught his attention. He glanced over: Thea was blinking up at him, rubbing one eye. 

“Andrew?” She muttered. “Is that you?”

Neil said nothing, slipping out of the room and out onto the balcony once more, retreated back into his apartment. 

He’d have to ask Ichirou for more time. He needed a better plan. 

*

Andrew seemed irritated the next morning when they met up again for a smoke and lazy conversation. 

“Are you alright?” Neil asked. 

Andrew sent Neil a scathing look and said nothing. He went through his smoke too fast and drained the coffee: Neil handed him another cigarette, free of relaxant this time. “Did you see anything of interest last night?”

“Not that I can recall.” Neil leaned a little closer. “Have you checked cameras?”

“Nothing.” He said sourly. “Kevin’s infantile lover-girl swore she saw me in their room last night, but I was dead asleep all night. If anyone had been walking around the apartment I would have woken up.”

“Interesting.” Neil said, hiding his smile behind his mug. “I’ll let you know if I ever notice something out of the ordinary.” 

Andrew nodded. 

The rest of their routine meeting passed in silence. 

*

im gonna write a p.2……how many times have i said that over the past few days lmao im a mess

[act-addict-actors-matchups]

@navi-chan said,

(♡1♡) Hello ˃ᴗ˂ I wanna know who I match up with in A3 Ｏ(≧▽≦)Ｏ I'm a Virgo and IFJT girl living her life at the moment. I know and think things that are apparently weird (idk why) that makes my friends question on what I do when I'm alone (✿◠‿◠). I'm exactly 5 ft for now (still growing), wavy shoulder-length black hair and I have a fair skin tone cuz I don't like the sun too much XD. I love and enjoy to draw and read stories and articles that captivates my interest.

(♡2♡) I like to travel cuz I want to know the place and it's culture especially its art. I also like to sleep cuz whenever I'm alone and have nothing to do I would feel lonely that is why I tend to sleep the loneliness away. And, I love-hate cuddles (don't attack me pls ( ˃̵⌓˂̵)). LOVE cuz I would feel sense of comfort with the person. HATE cuz I feel like the person might disappear or will leave me behind and I would feel lonely again. Well, that's all (❁´▽`❁)

✧ Tumblr is not letting me tag you. 😔 I hope you��ll see this. Honestly, I really wanted to match you with Azuma but ‘I’m still growing part’ made me feel like you’re a minor so I couldn’t. I can be wrong though lol. Sorry for taking so long and thank you for requesting a matchup, love. 💞✨

I’d match you with: . . .

➜ HOW YOU TWO FIRST MET ; It was a hot summer day and for some reason you’ve made it into your personal mission to do random acts of kindness for the people who were a total stranger to you. So far, you’ve helped old people cross the street, helped someone load their groceries and left a copy of that days’s newspaper on your neighbor’s doorstep. You had to admit, it was a productive day and it wasn’t even midday yet! With your accomplishments for the day, you decided to treat yourself something cold, like ice cream or soda. Just the thought itself made you smile. With a nod of your head, you began walking towards the area that had the shops in it. While walking, you caught a glimpse of a boy in front of vending machine, sulking. He was wearing a short sleeved shirt with black and white patterns on it and a black shalwar like leggings. Ah, you knew what the problem was. The vending machines in this area were famous for eating the coins of people. You were a victim of them yourself many, many times. But with some brain power, you managed to come up with a single move that can get the snack or drink you’ve wanted. You were already on a kindness roll so you might as well help another person out. With a smile on your face, you cleared your throat and shot the boy a knowing look. “Allow me.” You have said before hitting a specific spot with your hip and bam! one of the sodas has dropped. Sticking your arm in, you grabbed the cold beverage and tossed it to the boy, who was looking at you with shining eyes. “Eh!? That was so cool! Teach me how to do it!” A giggle escaped from your lips at how enthusiastic he was being. You could basically see a tail behind him, wagging with anticipation. With a small shake of your head, you flashed a knowing grin as you took a coin out of your pocket and popped it into the machine, pressing the numbers of the drink you’ve wanted. You were planning on buying something cold anyway and this was more convenient for you too. And just as you thought, even though the vending machine took your money, it didn’t give you the drink. You hit the machine one more time and grabbed your drink after it fell down. You popped open the can and took a sip, turning your attention to the red head afterwards, you began to explain how hitting that exact spot was important and if he messed it up even just a little, the money would go to waste. With every word left your mouth, he nodded with serious eyes. After you were done, you took another coin and basically sacrificed it. “Alrighty, it’s now your turn. Give it your best shot!” You said before stepping aside and giving the boy a thumbs up. “Yes, ma’am.” He said before hitting the machine and successfully making the can of soda fall. His bright blue eyes lit up as he throw his fist up. “Hey, I did it! I really did it!” “Haha, congratulations. Make sure to use that power for good.” “You can count on me!” After that exchange you two grabbed your cans of sodas and sat on a nearby bench. He told you that his name was Taichi Nanao, he was a student at Ouka High School and an actor at Mankai Company. After that, you introduced yourself and you two just chatted about whatever came to mind until it was around three pm. Taichi was first to leave since he had practice with Autumn Troupe around an hour later but he didn’t leave without getting your phone number, which you happily gave without much thought.

➜ PERSONALITY COMPATIBILITY ; Taichi is like a puppy, often noisy and upbeat so there is never a dull moment when you two are together. Don’t ever worry about him leaving you behind because he is so whipped for you. In fact, I feel like you both might fear that whole ‘my significant other is to good for me what if they leave me all of a sudden?’ more than necessary. Yes, I said both of you because let’s not forget that under that positive attitude of his, Taichi actually has very low self esteem. What I’m trying to say is words of affirmation and physical touch is your canon love languages, although the later happened less in your earlier stage of relationship. IFJT people are often perfectionists with extremely high standards of performance for themselves so whenever you’re too harsh on yourself having a chill & silly boyfriend would calm you down or whenever he needs to get serious about something (ex. schoolwork because let’s face it, he’s the type of person who does his homework at the very last moment be it on the breakfast table or while the teacher is collecting them) you’re there making sure he’s not destroying his future academically. Those are just basic examples but in short, you two just balance each other out very nicely. Please just marry each other. 🥺

➜ SHARED ACTIVITIES ; Since apparently you do things that are considered weird, now you have a partner by your side to do those things. I feel like the both of you would totally be up to having intense conversations with pets, rating total strangers out of ten or texting each other weird things even though you're in the same room. If not, I can see you two going to a convenience store, buying the magazines that catches your eyes, sitting back to back or with him laying down on his back and you on top of him, making a + form and reading articles until one of you gets bored. If you’ve seen Taichi’s doodle he made in the notebook, you’d know that the boy is at the very least decent at drawing, so even though he might get bored quickly, he would do his best to draw with you. Since you don’t like the sun very much, if he wants to go outside with you he’d wait until late afternoon-evening. When it comes to outdoor dates the first thing came to my mind was amusement park date. Can you imagine how fun it would be to go on the rides with him??? I headcanon that Taichi loves rollercoasters so you bet he’s gonna beg your to go with him. If you freak out, he lets out a laugh and you feel his arm wrap around your waist, pulling you back against him, his other hand is stretched up to the sky.

➜ ZODIAC COMPATIBILITY ; Taichi’s birthday is on October 11 which makes him a Libra. Considering that Libra and Virgo are zodiac neighbours, it goes without saying that the two will be compatible. While Libra is an air sign, and Virgo is an earth sign, the two are as disconnected as they are connected. Virgo is duty-bound and nurturing. While Libra is also a sign that will do what needs to be done, their priority will be more on the reality than the idealistic acts. When Virgo and Libra join together in a love match, it can be like puting two puzzle pieces together. Each locks into the other and sits comfortably in place. Both Signs seek security in partnership, and they share a love of beauty and culture. They can work together efficiently and smoothly because they desire similar rewards. The Virgo-Libra relationship may trickle along in the beginning, but it will rev up once both partners grow to respect one another. Just like any other pairing, this pairing has its own set of pros and cons. Both these personality types have a tendency to be very similar to each other. As such, the suggestion would always be to give this relationship a shot. However, another advice would be to keep your eyes open. While loyalty is the way for both these signs, triggers for a change of duty may be something as simple as their partner not putting the toilet seat down. All the best!

[yeo-rims]

so much to unpack with your reply but yes!!! lots of people were complaining about soonho's lack of screentime but.. god the relationship between her and kang is Growing and i'm so excited to see the outcome because like you said ! she doesn't let him wallow ! she's like ??? Tf you doin' being mean to others ?! and i love her for it!! and yes.. the subtle romance really really REALLY is a selling point for me.. the way in which they do things for the other w/o expecting something in return..

the only thing they want in return is for the other to be happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!! like sw putting music on and setting up the studio so hw could sleep there.. god. and not even getting into what that means for hw because he literally couldn't sleep at his apartment. he subconsciously knew that js being all over his place was wrong and that's why he couldn't sleep there!!!!! and yes.. the way that he cried was so satisfying because you could tell it was wearing him down a lot and that cry was needed to heal! and the BANDAID!!!!!!! my gosh. you can see after sw talked to changseob hw quickly put the frame down so she wouldn't see him doing it but it later came back round as she realized he was confessing and then saw that he removed the bandaid!!!!!! both of them needed to deal with their losses and like you said ! they understand they need to heal for themselves not for each other! the way that they're so open about their feelings.. i'm amazed by the realness of this drama every week.. and yes! lastly i do think they will acknowledge she is more than just a rebound for hw.. it is Crucial that they do. i mean they have been there for each other for so long and.. it truly... is just.. amazing. idk i'm just obsessed w/ their connection to each other. and the preview w/ the bike! now that's some cute clicheness i am ready for! also v random but the song o by code kunst reminds me of the vibes of this drama.. not necessarily the lyrics. the vibe! - 1/2 (after sending a ton of asks)

I’m loving everything about the second lead couple, and I think they have a lot to show us and I’m so excited to see how they will handle everything. Sw putting music was such a nice touch, also she made sure to wait for him and he knew it was her and knew she was probably still there, like!! They get each other in such a personal level already and mainly because they talk. They enjoy each others company way before ji soo’s death when he was still before dawn, he still liked talking to her and he cared enough to secure her a job. Like, he isn’t doing all this to get anything, it’s just who he is, the same goes for sw! Hw knew he couldn't be living like that, but like we talked, ji soo was kinda giving him some sort of stability, but now she can't do that to him anymore, now he really has to let go and live his life. it’s up to him. the confession happening at the same time as she sees the picture was so well done like she wasn't only listening to him saying he wanted her in his life, she saw that too. He cared enough for her to do such a simple gesture, one she couldn't, and it didn’t anger her or anything, but it touched her because Hw probably just wanted to see her smile and that picture means a lot to her. they are really open about how they feel and they don’t try denying it, sure, they get embarrassed and try to move on, but it’s there, they talked. it’s real! I’m sure they will address this issue too, they are doing so many things and they are so good I’m afraid but still optimistic. It’s just a well-thought drama and it knows how to portray such complicated feelings and people without trying too hard or being way too dramatic. I’m in love. (And the song is so good? I’m listening to it atm) 

[icharchivist]

Hiya Icha! I was wondering (I'm writing a fanfic of MLB) what's the usual wallet contents of someone from France? Do you usually have a driver's license? How important is your National Identity Card? Are you dumb to bring it with you on a walk to the grocery store? I tried looking up wallet contents and that got me no where ;;;

Heya!!

Aahh no wonder this mustn’t be easy to find omg :O but if you ever have questions about random French stuff, i’m always there to help out!

(and good luck for your fic of MLB omg i’m cheering for you!! I’m kinda curious about it too tho i’ve caught myself reading a few MLB fics lately dkjfhd)

Anyway down to the questions:

-Depends for the Driver’s license, We cannot pass our license before 18yo so  it depends on how old the characters are. Once the person is supposed to have a license it is common that they keep a driver license with them in a wallet. (i’ve seen instances of adults putting the license in the car along with the Grey Card, but younger folks tends to keep the license on them if needed).

-It’s always good to have your ID with you. From experience i’d say a young teen will be far less likely to carry it around (most parents tends to keep it safe) but if the teen tends to be away from home often (and especially in the capital like Paris) it would be likely they keep the ID with them still at least for Safety. Around 15yo we pass an important exam at the end of Middle School which require the ID to pass it, and another similar exam at the end of Highschool (18yo). Most people i’ve known kept their ID in their wallet since 15yo because it’s when it becomes handy to have one with you. 

-It’s not dumb at all to carry it with you in a grocery store, just don’t bring it out of your wallet unless you’re being asked about it. Shops are supposedly not allowed to sell you alcohol if you’re under 16 or 18 (varries depending shops and i’m pretty sure soft Alcohol like Beers get a free pass)(just slight reminder 18 is the age we’re allowed officially to drink alcohol) and cigarettes shops are not allowed to sell you those unless you’re 18 - and therefore they might ask you for your ID as you buy them. However it’s not really required and rather pretty rare? Most shops don’t really bother asking, even if you look significantly young, depends on how much they care about ethics and such. (signed someone who bought alcohol and cigarettes for her parents at 14yo without ever being asked about it by the shopkeepers).

-It’s pretty rare that an ID card is important to bring along, but it is a must if you are  writting checks for exemple, as most shopkeeper will ask you your ID to check that the names are the same, so that happens. We rarely pay in checks for casual shopping tho, a lot of shops have a no-check policy. Pubs usually couple down as coffeshop and like usual shops, it depends on how tight they are on policy if you order Alcohol but they’re likely to leave you alone. I think Nightclubs may ask you for your ID but idk for sure about that.

-It’s pretty much a safety precaution just in case, if you get an accident, or rare cases in which you can be asked for it. It’s good to have, but it isn’t required a lot so some people can completely forget about it. Also note that a passport works just as well.

As for General Wallet Content: erg I can only take mine as exemple but basically i’d say:

-An ID (I personally had both my ID and Passpord for a while but now only my ID)-Cash if you can (whenever it’s small money with coins and paper currency) but obviously it depends on how much money someone has on them ahah (it’s just handy bc some shops, like bakeries, will not take the credit card for small amount of money, so having little money is always handy)-Credit Card (There’s possibility to open account pretty young, only parents’s managed. You can have one that is only your management from the age of 15/16 I think? Depends on Banks and offers, usually Teens Accounts are restricted on some levels but it really depends on the Banks and what the parents allow. By 18yo though it’s to be expected to have a proper Credit Card though)

-A Driver Liscence, if you’re above 18 and if you passed it.-A Bus card/Metro Card/A Multipass. Depends where you live but since it’s MLB i’ll focus on Paris: If someone takes Public transport in the city they will either have to buy Tickets at each stations/each time they enter a bus, or they would get a specific Card on which they would put money regularly in order to just pass the card while getting in public transport. I’m almost certain there’s a slight discount on the price if you get them with your special card. Said card should be used normally both on Bus and on Metro without problems. When you live in a city where public transport is as useful as it is in Paris it’s a must to have. A standart Metro Ticket in Paris is about 1€75 If I remember well? Not sure for Bus but I think it’s 1€10 a ride. 

-Your Vital Card (”Carte Vitale” or “Carte Verte”) and eventually a Mutuelle Card. Both are Health care stuff - Your Vital Card will be asked anytime you go to the doctor or to pharmacy to buy stuff. Usually giving it then will assure your visit to the generalist doctor and some prescripted medications will be paid back by the SECU (Social Security, the Health Care basically). (Note tho that some specialized doctors will eventually only pay back half the price if you don’t have an assurance covering their service. They’re also more expensive than regular doctors). a “Mutuelle” is basically an assurance, either your parents’s or a student one that can allow some discounts depending on what you paid for. Note that not everyone are covered with assurance but everyone has a Vital Card. When you’re under 16yo you’re under your parent’s SECU so normally you don’t have your own until then, but once you have one you’d rather keep it with you at all time.Also note the Vital Card is usually Chipped as it connects you to the database, but most Mutuelle Cards are usually just a piece of paper or a hard card, rarely chipped.

-A Student Card- Especially since begining of High School, but in recent years i’ve seen they spread it to Middle School too - Depending on your school, usually. A bit after I left Highschool, i’ve learnt they started to ask students for their Student Cards when they entered the School just to check they were students and not squatters. In UNI it was often used also with your ID during exams, with a specific student number on it that followed you around. But most importantly, and I’m certain it now extends to Middle School, it gives you discounts in some shops or activities. For exemple Cinema is 10€ for an Adult but can go to about 7€ if you show your student Card, albeit i think there’s another tarriff for under 15 (in which case the ID is the interesting one to bring out). Some shops like Office Stuff or Libraries  will give you discounts on the stuff you buy if you show your card. If in a Specialized supperior school you may have also special discount depending your field of study (When I was in art school i had a discount on more art supplies than the discount of usual students thanks to said card).Depending also on the school’s budget and such the cards can be plastered paper to cards with microchips that you can use to interreact with some school stuff. UNI again had a whole internal bank system where you could put money in your student cards so you could use it on student spaces like cantine and cafetaria and such.)

-Linked but not exactly: Middleschoolers/Highschoolers are likely to have a specific Cafetaria card from their school with them. Again depends on the school, but they’re mostly chipped cards since it connects to the money your parents put on the school’s account in order for you to get to the Cafetaria. (I bring it up also bc i was puzzled learning lunch meals were free in the US ahah). It’s a must for students who eat at school. Students who can afford to come back home for Lunch usually don’t have one/don’t need it and if for some reasons they need to eat at school they can either request for one or get a paper ticket. (My Highschool rather encouraged us to use our friends’s card and pay them back later which was awkward af).

-Fidelity cards in general. (Silly but god i have tons of those i don’t use in my wallet, usually they are free or if not very cheap and it gives you discounts on stuff so you end up Hoarding them. Those are also easily given to teens so it can be usual for a Teen to have say, a Fidelity card to a candy shop, a Library card, stuff like that.)

-All the recieps bc you’re too lazy to put them elsewhere until your wallet is drowning in recieps. 

-erg I also personally have painkillers in my wallet bc it’s handy but idk how many people do that. Likewise for all the rest of superfluous things. Speaking of, pictures of you/your friends/your family. It’s not uncommon to have those in your wallets, it’s not /too common/ either, but i’ve seen it, i’ve done it, so it happens.

I think those are mostly the basis covered? If there’s any need for clarifications or more infos my inbox is still wide opened ;O Hopefully that will help!

Take care and good luck with your writting!! 

Wish you well!❤

[myriadof-fandoms]

mimi watches ep 8

ft. my boy and comfort blanket aka my jamie bower and my hellfire shirt

we're starting 5 minutes late bc jamie bower said i should get popcorn

THIS IS MUSIC

i'm hollering

this isn't even funny but i'm so stressed

steve get your hands off of nancy i don't wanna throw up

JOPPER JOPPER JOPPER

... with murray

THEY HAD A FUNERAL

DID ANYBODY SHOW BRO MY GOOD DUDE

WHY IS THE DEMOGORGON ON A LAB TABLE I'M GONNA HAVE A FIT

bro why do i wanna pet it

if evil why pet shaped if evil why screaming in pain

oh no

what is this weird whooshie wind thing

my girl has her powers i'm so proud

why are we talking about surfer boy. is it billy. yes i'm still clowning.

STOP BREAKING WILL'S HEART MIKE

oh god oh god

we got tender emotional music and the painting oh god

no no no no o no no no baks lshslf soi am wipping back qnd forthoh sndpdbwl no no no

WHY IS MIKE LOOKING LIKE HE'S GONNA KISS HIM

JONATHAN

MIKE

THIS IS SO GAY

DIFFERENT

BRO BRO BRO BRO what are they doing

NO WHAT THE FUCK WILL NO NO NO NO NO

AND JONATHAN

okay i'm calm

.."they're all safe"... MAX NEARLY DIED YOU FUCKHEAD

OH HOLLY AND KAREN

oh i'm not feeling good about this at all

if this ends with all the gates open

I HAVE GOOSEBUMPS ALL OVER

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST I CANxt take this

not the bickering 🥺

eleven watching the hawkins gang: who the fuck is vecna

robin is me vecna/henry/one

eddie is so done

T R A U M A HE GETS THEM TROUGH TRAUMA

i swear to god if max surviving once was a misdirect

"try not to miss" oh god oh no

yeah idk i don't trust whenever anybody looks happy in this show. i'm very afraid for hopper.

yeah as a person who grew up in what was east german and whose parents very much lived well yk under the ussr? they do not appreciate bursting through their walls

"angry hicks"

steddie are flirting!!

hey red oh my lord

THE MASK I FUCKING CANT

DON'T YA BIG BOY bro we really going harringrove amount of homosexual tension here

it's been three season and i still don't know if i trust owens. but him pushing the this is not a prison thing? he's securing points for himself

SIX LITTLE NUGGETS

LITTLE HARRINGTON .. if he weren't saying this to nancy it'd be good

yeah your husband can teach you how to surf

WHY ISN'T HE EVEN PRETENDING TO LOOK AT THE ROAD BRO STOP FLIRTING WITH YOUR EX

... what if lucas is right and vecna just takes someone random

bro her happiest time is gonna punch me

THAT'S PRESUMPTUOUS OF YOU NO FUCKING DAMNIT DON'T TOUCH ME

"should i shoot him now or later"

god i love tom wlashiha my good little guy

hey not wrong about the phone call tbf

THIS THE MOST AMERICAN THIS SHOW HAS EVER BEEN ANGRY HICKS

oh steve goddamn

this is an awful day for the gays

WHY DOES VICKY LOOK SO SAD

FUCKING JASON

why are teenagers allowed to buy guns

not him giving gun advice

NANCY SHOOT HIM

let me punch him in the face i get that he has gone through severe loss but bro i draw the line

owens is dead he is so dead

god i was not made to hold this much stress i am but a little guy

i want to see brenner die

at least i have my comfort blankie of shirts

i did not need to see billy and bob die again thank u

FUCK YEAH BABY YOU ARE NOT A MONSTER MY CHILD BABY EL GO GET YOUR DAD WHO IS NOT CURSED

eddie.. in thay jacket i gotta gay.. the hanky.. i see you.. you nerd.. no more retreating.. baby u dead

NO DUSTIN AND EDDIE OH GOD OH NO it's gonna hurt so bad

erica and lucas 🥺 bonding

so much bonding

i still have hope baby boy baby

"it might not work out for us this time" bro you're all dead aren't you

showing them all as the kids they are while having robin say this.. oh god.. poetic cinema

..how.. how did he not see/hear the helicopter before

owens my guy at least you were kinda good

THAT'S MY GIRL

and all of this in white pants

NOT WILL IN THE BACKGROUND

ELEVEN AND WILL SIBLING HUG I CAN'T MY BABYS

bro shut the fuck up

YEAH FUCK HIM GO GET YOUR DAD NOW

"who's gonna die" you ask well my boy just everyone you know

SEPERATE WORLDS NOT A DRILL I REPEAT NOT A DRILL

MAX IS GOING IN THE HOUSE OH NO OH BOY

SOMEDAY LOVE WILL FIND YOU

TRUE LOVE WON'T DESERT YOU

ngl this song is getting me through the day rn so i'm living