#but id sure like to. ‘hi! would it matter to you if i deleted my account? why? my fucking reblogs that 6 or 7 people like from me? if thats

[yelloworangesoda]

i cant reblog my post and go “you can say if you dont like it” but also COME ON. DO YOU NOT LIKE IT????? why. tell me. so i can fix it. or not fix it but at least know i shouldnt K

[nomazee]

Um hello! Is the 1k event thingy still up?? If so I would like to request a classmate! Dr ratio x reader at 2:47 am?

it's actually sickening how much fun i had with this i was giggling at my own jokes while typing this out... this was so fun to write THANK YOU FOR REQUESTING!!!

my 1k event!

—°+..｡ﾟ｡ﾟ+.*.｡.—

A blaring, aggravating, shrill sound wakes you up. Your hands go to cover your ears, protecting your sanity from the noise ringing somewhere from the tangle of sheets on your bed. Hands flailing around desperately to find the source of the piercing chimes, you writhe around in agony until you finally latch onto your phone. 

The brightness of the screen digs into your corneas as you lift up the device to see the caller ID of whoever had the guts to bother you on a school night. 

It comes to no surprise that the caller name reads “VERITAS FUCKING RATIO” in all caps with no contact photo. Your eye twitches and the grip on your phone tightens, just a hair away from leaving finger-shaped dents in the metal. 

Begrudgingly, you answer the call, tucking the phone next to your ear with nothing less than displeasure. “Veritas. Why are you calling me at—” you pull your phone back to check, “—almost three in the morning?” 

“The works cited page,” Veritas Fucking Ratio informs you matter-of-factly. There’s no hint of sleepiness in his voice, nothing that could possibly chip away at his good image, of course. “You did it in the wrong format. It’s supposed to be APA. This is a science project, not a literature project.” 

You might kill him. The project in question is to be presented tomorrow— today at ten in the morning. Ratio and you had been working on it for an entire two weeks, broken up into intermittent hour-long sessions because he was adamant that you split up the work instead of rushing to do it all the night before. Stupid self-righteous gorgeous beautiful academic genius-freak. Yeah, it definitely helped you in the long run, but he acted so sanctimonious about it that you refused to admit the benefits. 

“Veritas,” you imbue the syllables of his name with poison, as much as you can when you’re swaying as you sit up on your bed and fighting demons to not fall back asleep. “This is such an easily-fixed thing. Do you know what time it is right now? Why are you even awake? You know, I am supposed to get a full seven hours of sleep every night, and I was already cutting it short today, and you woke me up before I could even hit REM sleep. Do you know how upsetting this is? Fix the goddamn works cited yourself!” 

For once, Veritas is at a loss for words. The other end of the line is so quiet that you have to double check and make sure he hasn’t just hung up on you. Perspiration builds on your palms, thinking that this is it—this is the exact moment that you make Veritas-Fucking-Ratio snap and delete your name off the project credit slide, and you’re going to get a 0 because he will wipe off any evidence of your work from this plane of existence, and you will spend the rest of your measly life chasing after your MLA-turned-APA works cited page, too-little-too-late. 

“I’m awake because the— well.” He pauses, and his voice sounds so far away and unobtrusive that you’re almost worried. Your breath stills in the middle of your diaphragm. Waiting. “The works cited is one thing. But I wanted you to look at the slides, if you can.” 

If you can, he says, as if he’s giving you a choice, which he literally never has during this entire process. You had no role in choosing the topic, or the slide theme, or what days you worked on the project, or how often you worked on the project (because god forbid you procrastinate a little bit, right?!), but now, at almost three in the morning, Veritas is saying something along the lines of oh please my dearest project partner, I request that you open the Google Slides at once, but only if you would like to! I would never infringe on your free will at three in the morning, because I respect you as a partner. Or something like that. That was pretty much the gist of it. 

A raspy sigh escapes you, and you claw your busted laptop off the nightstand next to you, opening it up and squinting at the LED screen as you punch in your passcode. “You know, I have done a good job at going along with all of your whims, Veritas, the least you could do is fix the works cited for me. Seriously, how did you even miss that? You’re so detail-oriented, but you didn't even realize the format was wrong until tonight? Who even cares, seriously… it’s just a slideshow…” 

Your voice trails off as the slideshow presentation finally loads in. You see Veritas’ default profile picture blink in the upper right-hand corner, signaling that he’s viewing the slideshow with you. The slideshow which has apparently undergone a huge makeover. 

It’s—pleasant to look at. This entire time, you and Veritas had been editing a default, white-background black-serif-font-text slideshow. He refused to change it, telling you that it’s unprofessional to do anything too embellished, to which you fruitlessly said, Veritas, we will die early deaths because of the hole in the ozone layer, would you at least make it easier on my poor soul by letting me choose a pokemon-theme slide? Veritas had pretended like he couldn't hear you (in a very quiet library room, mind you), but the twitch in his brow gave him away. 

Now, though, the slides are decorated. It’s a really nice theme, complete with custom icons and graphic blobs of color—your favorite color, might you add. It’s—pretty. Dare you say, cute, but you think Veritas would vaporize your entire presentation if you called it cute. 

“Did you— this— did you pay for this slide theme?” 

“You— n— mn,” he trails off into an unintelligible mash of mumbling, and you hear a loud THUD that sounds awfully like the phone being thrown onto a mattress. Fabric shuffles around, before you hear Veritas’ voice again, clear and composed. “Sorry. I dropped my phone.” What a loser, and a liar, and an endearing freak. You really wish he video called you because you need to see his totally-very-ugly face. 

“I thought this was unprofessional, Veritas,” you say teasingly, a smile lining your words as you try not to giggle right into the phone. “What made you have a change of heart?” 

“Nothing,” the typical firmness of his voice has returned, much to your dismay. “The works cited is still wrong. You have to fix it.” 

“Oh, whatever you say, honored Ratio,” you open up your trusty citation-generator, ready for a long fifteen minutes of copying and pasting information. “Hey, you must be free after class tomorrow, right? Since the project is pretty much over, right?” 

“Yes,” Veritas answers after a moment of hesitation, only a hint of doubt in his voice. 

“That’s great. Keep your schedule clear, then.” 

(You fix the works cited slide, wish Veritas sweet dreams, and then wake up in the morning to completely ace your presentation. The minute the period ends, you drag him out of the classroom and into a coffee shop, paying for some five dollar pastry and joking that it’s payback for the cute slideshow theme that he definitely paid five dollars for. Veritas is an awful liar, and you tell him that, and he can’t even find the strength to deny it.)

—°+..｡*ﾟ｡*ﾟ+.*.｡.—

gen taglist: @tragedy-of-commons @lasiancunin

fill out my event taglist (pinned) or general taglist (navi) to be tagged in upcoming works!

[tellafairy]

Hi, can you please explain in detail how you changed your marks + got into your dream uni and how you always stay lean? This would change my life.

i have already answered this but i will re answer it more in depth !

when i was 16, i really wanted to attend a university quite far away. it was a dream i had for a while, but i was scared things wouldn't work out — especially when my counsiler told me over and over again that my grades "weren't good enough" and i "didn't meet the requirements". i was also scared about finances and the uni being to far away.

with this, when my senior year came and i turned 17 — i had saw a sucess story on tiktok of a girl who manifested her dream university experience simply through LOA. this prompted me to do the same, and i began to completely ignored everything my counsiler said. i told myself over and over again that i am attending the university, no ifs ands or buts. i repeated simple things like "i literally got into the university, is he crazy?" "my dorm room at university is so cute i love it" over and over again inside of my head whenever the topic of university was brought up or came to mind. whenever someone asked me where i'm going for uni, i told them this university. spoke about the uni as their student would. and when filling out my application, i was laughing to myself. "why am i even doing this? i'm already a student at __.. i guess it'll be fun to show other students what an application should look like if they wanna get into __ like me!"

id also saturate! sometimes i'd spend 1-2 hours just sitting there thinking of life at that university in my head as if i was already there. id go into detail about the financial aid id get, how my dorm would look, meal plans, etc etc — everything i wanted my uni life to be like. (this part is quite important to me, i made sure to incorporate the fact i wouldn't struggle with paying for uni or finding housing). id ignore any thoughts or worries whenever they came to mind, i always made it my priority to remind myself that i already attend the university — nothing else matters.

as for changing my marks; in my home country, your highschool submits all of your grades to the universities for you. and after graduation, they send you one final copy of your transcript. so when i was applying to university, i only saw my transcript once before graduation through my guidence counsiler, and it didn't even have all of my final grades because i was still taking classes, it only had my midterm marks (which are basically ur final marks before the final exams which would usually bring ur mark up by 5-10%)

anyways, after seeing it and realizing how bad my midterms were, i just affirmed that the transcript was wrong and that my final marks would be 10x better. i told myself that i'd ace my fianl exams so well that it would bring my marks up by more than 10%. despite this — after graduation, i received a transcript with my exact same mid term marks.

but, i didn't let this discourage me. i simply disregarded the email and deleted it, i didn't even save the transcript because i knew it wasn't right. i kept affirming and affirming and saturating and telling myself that they accidentally sent the wrong transcript. and i think you know what i'm gonna say next; that's exactly what they did. my principal had emailed me alongside my counsiler, both emails had a copy of my real transcript where my grades met the standard i had created in my mind — and they also apologized for giving me the wrong transcript, informing me that the universities i applied to all received the correct one.

i had already gotten my acceptance letter into the university before i had received my final transcript, so i think that's what made it easier for me to accept and know that the first transcript they sent me was wrong.

i'm not sure what anon means by staying lean.. so i'm sorry i can't answer that part 😅 but i hope the rest makes sense!

[larrythefloridaman]

thought about them again. sorry. it will keep happening

dont read the nccts then rewatch season one and go back to the nccts. worst mistake i ever made. So anyway let me pepe silvia at you about crimtoinette i have an essay prepared-

wasnt joking. If it were up to me this wouldnt be a link itd be a long post on here but the drafts function is not cooperating with me <3

Various stuff i drew while this analysis was in the making:

[void-chara]

@mcytblrholidayexchange gift for @irrealisms !! you had lots of prompt ideas for writing, but not for art, so i hope you're happy with eclipse federation misery and agony compilation, plus song lyrics

lyric credits: Temporary - Chase Petra / Stranger - The Mechanisms / Easier - The Crane Wives (appears four times) / Two Birds - Regina Spektor / Little Soldiers - The Crane Wives (appears twice) / Heretic Pride - The Mountain Goats

feel free to ask if you want me to adjust some text to make it more readable or something, i think it looks fine but i know different peoples eyes and devices are different, and if i had more time i would definitely have spent more time messing with the colors on everything

speaking. of time. im really sorry i took so long ._. i kind of suck at estimating how long projects will take and how much time i have. thanks for being so patient!!

oh, also, some lyrics and drawings have story reasons for being grouped together, and some went where they looked good. uh. ideally id make sure everything had reason for its location, but this is one area where i did correctly estimate my time, instead of getting stuck in the planning phase.

also in the process of typing all this ive already gone back twice to change stuff in the images and re-add them to the post lol

OH also!! the part where vitalasy jumps off to his death! is as far as i can tell NOT canon accurate!! all the footage shows him jumping off the prison, since thats where he respawns. i didnt think to check this until after id already drawn most of the stuff, and already had the prison drawn, and i didnt want to reorganize the drawing. im telling myself that we only see a few of the later deaths and so theoretically the first one could have been jumping off a grassy ledge somewhere but its still bothering me and i needed to mention it.

anyway yeah really hope you like it i tried some new stuff with this one im not sure how well it turned out and thanks again for being so patient!!

EDITING TO ADD SOME MORE WORDS!!! i love talking about my art! so first, all the text on signs and stuff i did go back and look at videos and vods to make sure was entirely accurate, and i wrote all the words entirely by myself. for the lyrics and other text(death message and DELIVERANCE), i used a text tool first to make sure the words would be neat and where i needed them, and then traced over that on a new layer and deleted the original text layer. my handwritting fucking sucks always no matter what, this was a very necessary step. also! this is officially the first thing i have drawn entirely on my phone, rather than on my ipad like i used to do! also i dont use a stylus of any type i just draw with my finger lol.

[dangermousie]

To everyone's joy, Undaddy has found out Nana and YS' living arrangements. And is in Nana's house. And he saw the bullet necklace. And is enjoying terrorizing the fuck out of YS.

Oh my God, and when he smiles that dead smile when YS comes running in, freaked out of his mind - unclean unclean get thee behind me, Satan but also I love that the camera dwells on him for an uncomfortable length of time. It fits the vibe.

"Because of you, that girl could die." Aww, Undaddy, you are all heart, threatening your son's OTP and all to blackmail him into becoming a good automaton assassin. Sweetness and light you are. Go fucking die. (I kinda love how he's almost relieved to find out about Nana because it makes more sense in his psycho world-view that YS would interfere with murder of even the guilty and certainly deaths of innocents out of a 'selfish' reason and not because of right-and-wrong - but Undaddy is so wrong - even if he didn't love Nana, he'd do exactly what he had done).

The way YS has started the campaign of pushing her away so nobody would think he loves her - but like you can not outwit Undaddy emotionally because you care about people and he doesn't. I love it when later Nana stands up to the old psycho MMMMMM

YS found her earring - poor guy, that's all of hers he can allow himself. Honestly, he wants so little, it's heartbreaking he can't have it (when he types in 'bring me coffee' and deletes it before sending it. My heart.)

When Ahjusshi later comments that living with Nana was the first time YS started laughing for real - no wonder he's glommed on, it's his first bit of normalcy. I love this drama for turning him into a "real boy" so gradually - if you think about it he was brought up in a drug den by a psychopath and then sent to a normal college with fake IDs and he couldn't get close to anyone because it might risk everything. This is almost the first proper human interaction he's ever had with a normal well-adjusted human being.

YS doesn't think Nana has figured out he's the City Hunter. Oh my very-very-very dense darling! Ha. Well, actually she was only suspicious until she saw you asleep on her couch (I loved that the common-sense thing to do would be not to say good-bye in person but he simply can't do that) and covered half your face like during the incident and recognized for sure. I love her gasp of acknowledgement. How I love that this drama doesn't drag things.

Oh, it must be killing him to say all those awful things to her about how he just kissed her because she was easy and this is boring blahblahblah and it might have worked to push her away except she figured out the truth so she knows he saved her life twice, once even after she shot him, despite his rescues interfering with his targets etc. Good luck, YS, in convincing her she doesn't matter to you. I love that Nana is no dummy. Once she figures things out, that's it.

(He also kinda spoils his whole bastard image by telling her that while he's moving out she can continue to stay in the house for free. Oh, YS!)

"I can't love. That's my fate." No, YS, it's not fate, it's your psycho Undaddy. Seriously, a targeted grenade, anyone?

Undaddy really is the biggest monster in this story. He ends ep 9 by killing two innocent cops who were only doing their duty to get to his target which makes him no different from the men he wanted revenge on. Worse - they at least had geopolitical peace in mind, he's doing it for vengeance that will bring nobody back.

[cielles-random-vault]

random hobie brown headcanons!

all will be sfw the nsfw/spicy ones will be in pink

trying real hard not to delete this acc and kms bc of a sudden trigger

also this won't be proofread because im in the middle of a mental breakdown

he always looks for you when he performs

he's not the jealous "i show everyone who is my lover" type, more like the subtle "let's go" kind in crowded places to yk do unholy things

also small public demonstrations of affection <3 <3

like holding hands, putting his hand on your waist when you walk, small kisses both on your cheek and on your lips, small notes when he wakes up earlier than you since he's yk a spider man

he gave you one of his very own spike bracelets which i feel would be really dear to him

prob made you one esp for you

no matter how your styles differ he will still find a way to have something that reminds him of you on him whether it's a badge, a hair clip or even rings

taking you to the piercer as a first date!!

despite him being an anarchist he's actually very caring

you're sick? fuck capitalism he will make you his own medicine with some of his teas

unrelated but i feel like he's Jamaican or smth wait lemme check

ok i didn't find anything but ill js hc him as jamaican

so like yea when you're sick he makes you jamaican medicine

"take this shortcake! i know it doesn't seem yummy but i promise you'll feel better in a snap after!

you did feel better in a snap

(for fem aligned readers) when you're on your period he turns into the sweetest man ever

sometimes the two of you meet after his concerts - even though that's smth really important for him he makes sure you know you're his actual priority- you go on a rooftop and he tells you about his parents

feeling dysphoric because you're transmasc and on your period ? he makes sure you're the most handsome person he ever knew

when the two of you are doing it, he always makes sure he has your consent before trying anything new - or even before trying anything at all

he's not afraid to admit he's in love with you and he treats you like ROYALTY

you like this specific song? he'll post you to this song and even write love songs for you. remember that specific cat café you mentioned three months ago? he'll bring you there for your birthday.

going nonverbal and being overstimulated? that's no problem for him he'll sit with you in the dark in silence until you feel better.

THIS MAN IS A MAN OF AFTERCARE "you did so well for me darling <3 now what about we get some sweets and cuddle under the stars?"

he's a top most of the but yk he secretly lives when you're in control

HICKEYS HICKEYS HICKEYS ALL OVER YOUR BODY esp on your neck and in between your thighs

speaking of thighs whenever you feel insecure he turns into your girl best friend

having big thighs ? it's more comfy for when he has his head on his lap. big boobs?more comfy for cuddling. no/small boobs? it's ok clothes fit more easily. the list goes on but he always cheers you up.

UNLABELLED THEY/HE HOBIE‼️‼️‼️‼️

p sure he love when you ride him

like you're on top of him in some way but he somehow keeps control

probably likes to asset his dominance by putting a hand around your neck (wdym i don't have a choke kink i do)

BUT HE ALWAYS MAKES SURE YOURE OK THAT MAKES HIM LITTEALLY SM HOTTER OMG

he's always down for ditching class but he somehow has the best grades

which upsets you bc you're the one who always want to ditch class but your grades ain't following

omg it's giving academical rivals au

so like he sometimes comes at your place to help you w the subjects you have trouble with

eventually you end up pinned down on your desk passionately kissing

+ seeing you in a school uniform makes him go feral

fucking you in your school skirt? boy he sure is turned on

quickies in the school's bathroom ? man he loves danger so he's obviously down

+ he loves the way kissing you makes his piercing feel (idk but if i had healed piercings on my lips id love the way it'd feel)

SLOW BURN MAKE OUT SESSION IN THE RAIN

can you tell i love rain? bc i do

he makes sure you feel loved and says it to everyone he knows

"hey that's (reader's name) did you know they're my partner i love them sm"

he notices small habits and picks them up when he misses you (idk how to explain bit for example i sometimes twitch my nose because of my allergies- in that case if you did he would too)

HIGH PATTERN RECOGNITION even though he won't force you to tell him why you feel bad he instantly notices the changes in your behavior

"can you repeat, darling? i didn't hear what you said"

he makes sure you use your words despite you being overstimulated

+ his hands. they make you go crazy.

he's actually a lonely guy, give this poor man a big hug :(

no but fr tho he went through sm his backstory made me cry

OK bit of a vent now🕺🏻 but first tysm for reading ily ! <3 /p

i suddenly lost all motivation to post full fics bc i keep comparing me to others, most well known posters and it really triggers me so i guess i'll make the lonely series go on a hiatus. also working on requests! but it's getting harder to not kms bc of the pressure im putting on myself 🫠

anyhoo, kaheri there,back to dreamland! see you in the next dream! (new outro who dis?)

[whiskersz]

Hi there! I know you said matchups were closed but if you dont mind, Id like to send this in, just so I dont forget haha. If you dont wanna, its fine, feel free to delete my ask, or save it until you do reopen them, I just wanted to send one now because im forgetful and heard nothing but good things from my friend. <:) sorry to be a bother, once again, feel free to delete if I am bothering you

Im Ace, I go by she/they pronouns, Im bi, and stand at a height of 5'3.

I'm an introvert with anxiety and depression, but I am SUPER energetic and silly when you get to know me. I can be playfully mean, but i'm always there to help a friend in need. I get riled up pretty easy but Ive been told im very sweet and helpful and fun to be around.

Im chaotic and kinda delusional, and I can be flirty at times. I can also get a bit violent.

I think it says a lot about me seeing as I see Angel Dust as a big brother figure. I can be very sly at times and definitely impulsive.

Im creative and both really smart and really dumb, and Im mostly a coward unless it comes to friends and/or family

Im very sarcastic, playful, and affectionate, and I have no trouble saying I love you to people, but I do have trouble saying im sorry. Im also a people pleaser. I definitely dont make enemies but I do hold grudges. Im also super emotional and clingy. Daddy issues go BRRRRR

Thank you! Sorry again, hope im not being a bother.

Hello Ace!! Don’t worry, I don’t mind the occasional additional matchup! Do thank your friend from me for speaking well of my stuff, I appreciate that lots :3

Now, you seem to have quite the explosive personality, if you will >:3 So I match you with...

Cherri Bomb!!

To start off, Cherri is surely an individual who can take jokes, so you’re never going to have to be afraid to be a bother for her with your sarcastic and playful remarks as she will actually find this part of your personality hilarious, and will always play along and joke back.

She will definitely take advantage of your cluelessness sometimes – don’t call yourself dumb! – and tease you for it, though if she goes too far it’s not a problem for her to remind you that she was just joking and that she actually finds it really cute.

Cherri loves hanging out with fun people, so you being fun to be around is certainly a vantage point here. She’s not afraid of admitting when a person is boring and not of her liking, but I have the feeling that she would think the exact opposite of you. in fact, it’s not uncommon for her to invite you along whenever she hangs out with Angel.

You’re creative? She loves that about you. I imagine her house as one of those houses full of pop art paintings, handmade things and such. No matter how you express your creativeness, she will appreciate it and place something you made in plain sight somewhere around the house.

She also adores how expressive you are in a relationship; there’s many gestures that she finds attractive, but none goes above being proud of a partner and constantly reminding them that you love them, so when you do this with her she will waste no time and kiss you.

She doesn’t mind you being clingy at all, also. She actually finds it very cute and she loves receiving physical affection, so who is she to say no to a hug or a cuddle? If you’re into PDA just as she is, she’ll be thrilled to show each other affection in public, also to show others how lucky she is that she gets to date you.

Despite being quite chaotic herself, Cherri is also a very good friend and partner when it comes to comforting you; as seen in the “Addicted” music video, she’s willing to help Angel with his struggles, so why wouldn’t she do so with you as well? She understands that everyone has moments where anxiety overwhelms them too much, and that people who struggle with depression like you don’t have it easy every day, so in these times she will offer you all the support that you need. Mainly through physical contact, but also in other ways if you prefer being shown love through actions or words, for example.

You two might come across a bit of a problem if you ever end up arguing; she’s also not easy to get a ‘sorry’ out of, but one of you will have to apologize to the other sooner or later. I feel that if the relationship has been going on for a while, this will be easier, but at the start you two might have to take a bit of time alone before ultimately coming to the conclusion that yes, you do love each other and yes, apologizing if you’re in the wrong is the better option if you desire a happy relationship.

Overall, you and Cherri make quite the chaotic and fun couple! The rest of the Hotel loves having you two around when you visit, you definitely bring an air of fun and excitement.

[moonrisecoeur]

i have been. debating sending this bc i know i am cringe. op i am so sorry feel free to ignore and delete bc this is just actual pure filth lmfaooo

op i literally think about pegging leon 24/7 its a full time JOB inside my brain i need to peg that man so fucking Bad its not even funny. i know hes so fucking Noisy. i wanna make him beg for my strap, i wanna fucking edge him until hes begging and crying to be fucking ruined. i wanna pretty him up, put eyeliner on him so i can make it run down his face from fucking him so hard. i wanna mark up his neck and pull his hair while i pulverize him. i wanna tell him hes taking it so well and how hes such a good boy, how pretty he looks bent over for me while i fuck his cute ass. i want him to hug me while i praise him bc hes so overwhelmed. tell him how hot it is hearing him moan and whine, encourage him to make as much noise as he wants, itd be cute to watch him try to not pillow bite because hes trying sooo hard to do what you want like a good boy. i want him to be borderline Incomprehensible, voice shaking and cracking as he tells me how much he loves me, how much he loves the way i make him feel. i wanna make him cum untouched. i wanna overstimulate him. i wanna grope his fat tits and milk his dick. i wanna make him watch himself getting fucked. put him in a collar, lingerie, fuck anything-hed be gorgeous no matter what he wears. shower him in kisses and affection and make him feel the most loved he has in his entire LIFE while short circuiting his brain n marking him with bites and bruises for everyone to see.

re2 leon is my fave man he has my heart and god id love to just take care of him. after a long shift i wanna slam him against the door and fuck him while hes still in uniform. make him feel so good. such a whiny cutie. cuff him up and bite his freckles while i fuck him late into the night, clean him up and cuddle him after, make him breakfast in the morning n give him kisses.

re4/re6/older leon is a subby bitch too. just as god damn fine and id do oh so horrific things to him. hed love it so much, not having to think, make decisions, take charge. just let me whatever i want to him. hed get off so hard being under you and told how fucking good, pretty, perfect he is. he needs your approval so fucking bad-its all that poor man wants, god he needs it so BAD. he needs to feel safe and loved and wanted, like this is Critical. id make SURE i fuck him so good he cant even think about his insecurities or problems. and dear fucking lord do not get me started on that slutty waist and button down of his in re6. he's keeping the gloves on while i press his hands into the mattress and bite his arms.

its so fucking funny bc i hc leon as a switch BUT GODDDDD SUBBY LEON MAKES ME FUCKING FOAM AT THE MOUTH LIKE A RABID, FERAL ANIMAL

its not a want it is a NEED

I NEED THIS MAN UNDER ME I NEED TO REARRANGE HIS GUTS !!!!!!!!!!!!

guhhh last anon again but now i really cant stop thinkin about sub leon. legit i have so much more to say i just love him so much. theres so much. More. i wanna say but lord. im trying so hard to be normal man 😭😭

first off. hi. hope u had a yummy thanksgiving if u celebrate it and if not i also hope ur having a good day !!

ALSO WTF WHY WOULD I DELETE THIS i literally woke up this morning and checked my tumblr notifs as one does and i literally see this behemoth of an ask and im reading through and im literally screaming bc why is this my internal monologue. like. did u get inside my head or something??? did u steal this from my brain bc i literally think about this approximately 1000 times a day.

i’ll literally be at work and my thoughts be like ughhh i wanna hurt him and make him cry but also want to love him and take care of him but also want to fuck him so so slow and deep i can feel it moving around if i put on hand on his abdomen and then i just spiral and then i remember im making a fuckin caramel macchiato or something >.<

so!! in spirit of our delusion i’m planning to write smthin for u based off of this vibe!! just give me a lil bit 👉👈

BUT TELL ME EVERYTHING TELL ME ALL UR THOUGHTS I WANT TO HEAR THEM ALL I WANT TO KNOWWWW ‘i have so much more to say’ okay prove it. tell me everything

[reveseke]

Confessions confessions

PT. Confessions confessions. PT end

Image ID. A medium sized banner made of a picture featuring 5 arcade game machines colored mainly in purple in a tilted position lined up against a wall, there is a small glimpse of mat in the far right corner of a simple 90s star arcade design with varying colors. The first machine has visible text that reads "gauntlet legends", no other text is visible. Image ID end.

-Request? Yes

-Cobra Kai

Enby!Reader(you/your), Anthony Larusso

Heed the warnings: fluff, no actual warnings by far lol

Other info : Reader isn't part of any dojo, no pronouns used but he him & he they mentioned for the reader, R has light background. This isn't exactly what the request said, but i'm adjusting and need HC rn lol this is a character i haven't written for before and i will absolutely go write a blurb for this afterwards bc i think it's a really cute idea and i want to write a blurb for it but this is a little too long for it already. :< Also i try to avoid gendered language on readers behalf so there's a brief pause over terms.

Also i included a brief personal Sam Larusso headcanon there somewhere which is kinda relevant to pronouns. Have fun with it, Ig?

DNI - Fudanashis/fujodashis, women & fem-aligned, profic/proship, anti - LGBTQ+ folk & exclusionists, anti-antis, Necro- Zoo- Pedophiles + (NO)Maps(and other terms), basic DNI criteria, kink/nude/nsfw/sh/vent/pro-ana/ed/18+ blogs

Squishy squishy squishy squishy warm soft pricks and needles i think that would be how he'd describe the feeling he has when he sees you.

I don't see him being that easy to sway off his legs. But when you do he'll Be a little boisterous and a show off.

He'd absolutely use white lies if he speaks with you(like in P.E or you other shared classes), like mostly of the karate; saying he's practicing and really good at it! Meanwhile he's yet to actually even joining myagi-do.

He'd imo be the type to be a little akward and just observing from afar for a little while.

If you have any pins on your clothes or bags make it pronoun, gender or interest or just for aesthetic he's most likely seen them and carved them into his mind.

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Using these as separators as my eyes can't keep up lmao

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Wouldn't even question it much if your nonbinary. He'd rolls with it and if he doesn't understand it completely he's absolutely googling or asking around to understand it.

Imo He's a respectful little man; pronouns, gender identity doesn't matter he'll respect you!

He's seen through the struggle of being misgenred and tries his best if you solely use they/them pronouns, with he/they pronouns he will try to include the they them pronouns somewhere in there.

And something about gn/masc gendered language, he'd ask you if you'd prefer either one or both to be used.

I think he would absolutely make sure you aren't misgendered. He'll gladly correct others upon it.

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Personal headcanon on Larussos I'm including bc i can ! I think Sam's transfemine and got on HRT & puberty blockers pretty early on being able to be as she is in the series. :³

↑ this helping Ant adjust pretty easily to they them pronoun use for you. Bc he had to adjust to his sister's.

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Also never say that Sam wouldn't be making fun of Ant's little crush on you when she catches on.

It's the big sibling duty from what I've observed and gone through as well. He would absolutely end up spilling to her about you.

And if she has heard of you she will be either surprised or shocked. It really depends on if your known for something or just striking to the eyes, if she has not she will seek you out in the crowds especially when you get to be a junior in highschool(am i using that correctly? Lmao )

Also about the being striking or well known for something i meantlike something around these at first and don't feel like deleting this part lmao -> Like alt style, other kind of style that's striking like really colorful or bland outfits/accessories, mitch-matching etc, piercings? Being public about being gay/male-/masc-loving, being public about being nonbinary or something like that etc etc. Something you did, your family (or rather siblings or possibly parents, maybe pets?), being a menace etc etc etc. These are mere ideas none will be used tho in this lol

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Using these as separators as my eyes can't keep up lmao

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The little man is nervous as he brains storms good ideas for a confession. Does he go in just face-to-face or or.. wait valentines day.

Let's think it the way students get the cards and they aren't read out loud anynomous and you have to write your name on the card y'know.

So you get a valentines day cards from your friends, or rather those that did them. To say you were rather surprised, no matter if he's in your class or not.

Just.. what if the card is just that, a long and a little messy confession where he fumbles over the words even if written and it kinda looks hilarious and circles few things around and around. But ending with his phone number.

You went on your day like always, but Ant did shine more in the crowds than usual in your eyes. No ody could blame you after what you read. And he was actually just blanantly staring at you sometime even and turning away swiftly with fluster.

You did think it was cute tho. Not to mention you had had a small crush on him as well for a year or so by now, but you couldn't make yourself confess.

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Using these as separators as my eyes can't keep up lmao

. Also i have no idea how to write actual dating, i have never been interested in it so i ask you to spare me for it, I'm trying/hj lmao

When you answer him in the end he'll be over the moon. He'll also be an utter mess and absolutely be running to ask his sister for help.

Setting up casual hang outs at first and getting to know each other, going to the arcade and golfing and maybe helping each other with school work if you may lol.

He's in person very nervous and rambling about all the stuff, he might even question you about your pins esp if they are about your interest and bring them in converstations.

I think he could be a curious kind when brought out of the shell and be interested in learning a thing or two. Extra points if you end up bonding rather tightly because of a shared interest.

Also his sister pestering the two of you? Like embrassing Ant like any sibling would do in front of his crush and later on date. Love interest?

[moltage]

hi hi fellow Mick Rawson enjoyer!!! Would you be willing to spare some headcanons or fun facts for Mick or any of the characters please I am desperate for content 🥺

god where do i even begin ok so as for the fun fact part i don't think i can give you that much except maybe the little details i've picked up from the show or idk the type of gun Mick uses maybe since the show didn't. give us much but Yea i do however have. Headcanons / most might be about mick n prophet since im Totally So Normal about the two (i am not sure if you like them as a pairing, apologies if you don't😭)

there are a few i can't really explain like why i think Prophet had an ex wife who mistreated him and whom he hasn't seen ever since he's been in prison.

or why i think the reason behind Prophet's overprotectiveness towards children comes from a personal experience. Either cause himself or someone really close to him. or why he seems distraught and on the edge when on cases involving children is because it hits close to home.

or with Mick, cases where a child suffers loss of a loved one. but that's already mentioned in the show; he's lost his parents when he was young. Gina says 'He doesn't really talk about it with anybody.' Mick is rather a private person (or avoids talking about his feelings at least) The only time we've seen him talk about something he was afraid of was when he opened up about Fallujah to Cooper in Here is the Fire, but that's because they've been close friends for so long, and because they've worked together, Cooper understands. Or the time he got frustrated about the enemy sniper. (thats a whole another thing tbh i cant go off abt it kdshjdskfg)

so my headcanon is that, if it's not related to his past -- because then he goes to Cooper-- he goes to Prophet instead. I like to think that they're both there for each other as teammates, colleagues and best friends :)

so it's not unusual when one shows up on the others door unannounced, no matter the time, they understand. just two wounded men finding comfort in each other yknow🥺

i also think that, since they're literally b(f)fs they trust each other with the key to their apartments so its no surprise when Prophet walks into his apartment only to find Mick Rawson sprawled on his couch hgkjhgsd ('my apartment or yours?' ''Yours. It wasn't you who cleaned up the mess you did in mine the other day.'')

[ also PLEASE do check the deleted cm:sb scenes on youtube. they're so cute, my favorite is the one where Mick and Prophet are playing a video game together :) ]

i also loved the little moments in the show with the red cell team where they're all hanging out together. i like to think that they have like, traditions that they do, like game/movie nights and stuff like that at someone's apartment . or, simply stop by for a drink (please, the scene in Strays where they all meet up at Cooper's apartment in the middle of the night??)

they're the definition of a found family and i love that. 😭

i have a looot more to say but that's all for now djhjsdg im really sorry if these like. dont make sense its two am . thank you so much for the ask !! please feel free to hmu about them id love to talk about cmsb <3

[lovingdreamworld]

Dream's Apology

On May 7th, 2022, Dream released an apology following his past videos come to light. In them were harmful racist and antisemitic jokes.

I have not been able to find this apology on tumblr, nor the original link. I believe it is necessary for me to post this here as a point of reference, especially with how easily misinformation circulates and resources are lost. As always, please use your own judgement.

Image ID below cut.

[Image ID: Screenshot of Dream's Pastebin 'Past' from May 7th 2022

"I’m writing this just as the thoughts come to my head so sorry if I ramble at all.

Just thought I’d readdress some things I’ve talked about before, and in turn, current events. The elephant in the room, I had bigoted humor, and some very privileged and bigoted views before Youtube. Point blank. I’ve talked openly about how YouTube changed me for the better, going from a very sheltered life to talking to people from all over the world, from different cultures and countries and communities. This is something I don’t mind talking about at all because I think growth is important, and that acknowledging that having done racist things, or other things of that nature, doesn’t make you racist. It’s your actions after knowing that what you did was racist or offensive that defines you. making sure you never do those things again, and recognizing that they’re gross, and completely unacceptable. that is what defines how you are as a person. Whether it’s a full blown racist ass “meme”, or just a micro aggression against a marginalized community. Recognizing it was wrong, and moving forward knowing that.

Some people grow up surrounded by only love & kindness & understanding and don’t realize how blessed they are to have been fed the things they were on social media, and things they were taught in school, from their parents, their friends, their local government, who all their role models were. Everyone has a different upbringing, and until you get out in the world and you meet people, you’re always a lot more ignorant. I didn’t have a twitter until 2018/19, a facebook, an Instagram, or any social media. Being able to talk to people in an instant, and have people not afraid to challenge my view point, or that didn’t have the exact same views as my friends or my family or my city, was something completely new to me. Something that at first I rejected completely, and didn’t try and LISTEN. I would listen just to know how to argue back, not to try and actually understand. Once I learned that there’s more to listening than just hearing what someone’s saying, I matured a lot and slowly but surely I met more and more awesome people and feel like a completely completely different person to even just 3 years ago when I had no social media at all.

Everything that people have been bringing up recently are things that are from videos that I deleted while I was learning and growing. There’s a reason you’re viewing it on the way back machine, and not my channel, and that they’ve been deleted since early 2020 or even 2019.

I’ve talked to fans of mine from all kinds of places and cultures and plenty of times that’s resulted in me deciding to take a video down, even if it was only one person I had a discussion with in private. A lot of my “humor” came from the YouTubers I watched growing up, and so knowing that, I’ve always strived to make sure my content is as friendly to people around the world as it possibly can be. No matter who it is. I feel like it’s my responsibility. I don’t want a kid to end up being accidentally hateful because it’s something that I made them feel like was okay. I’m not their parent, but sometimes creators can have more of an influence on someone’s heart than even their parents. I only want that to be positive.

It is upsetting seeing clips that I have removed long ago being brought up, because obviously they were removed for a reason. But like I’ve also talked about many times before, that’s going to unfortunately happen. When people see stuff like that, they will want some reassurance that you don’t hold those views, or that you were uninformed or being ignorant. but the fact is, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, you were just being racist. You can be being both ignorant and racist at the same time.

I’ve done racist things. I’ve done bigoted things. I’ve never done anything with the intent to harm someone, but I have definitely harmed groups of people without caring, or without understanding the effect my words or actions could have on that group. What struggles they have to deal with on a daily basis, and how me as a teenager didn’t care enough to understand that or realize that I was adding to hatefulness in the world. It sucks, it sucked, and I’m sorry.

It’s heartbreaking to see long since deleted clips resurface, because it’s paraded as if these are my current jokes, or my current positions, or that I am a horrible bigot, and when that happens, the hurt that my past self inflicted on probably a very small audience, now gets brought up again and amplified to hurt more people. It breaks my heart because I’ve always learned from my mistakes, and part of that has opened me up to being a lot more empathetic. It hurts seeing some of the random memes or jokes that I made growing up, because now I understand that they weren’t just jokes, they were harmful and they had real impact on those around me, even if I didn’t know it. People don’t need to see idiotic gross things that I did at a young age, or while growing up and finding myself as a person. that being said, I don’t want to just brush it off, because I feel like everything I’m saying here is important for you guys to hear, and it doesn’t matter how long ago something was, it’s bound to pop up at some point.

So I’ll just finish this by saying that I have nothing but love for everybody out there, I don’t care who you are, if you hate me or love me, where you’re from, or anything about you. you have value and worth, and you deserve to be listened to and understood. I’ll always do my best to learn and grow from my past mistakes, and listen to people when I make new ones, because I will. I ask that everyone judge me by my current content, my current character, and who I am now as a person, because that’s all I have to offer, and the best anyone can do. I’ll do my best to always be the best version of myself possible.

So I’ll just finish this by saying that I have nothing but love for everybody out there, I don’t care who you are, if you hate me or love me, where you’re from, or anything about you. you have value and worth, and you deserve to be listened to and understood. I’ll always do my best to learn and grow from my past mistakes, and listen to people when I make new ones, because I will. I ask that everyone judge me by my current content, my current character, and who I am now as a person, because that’s all I have to offer, and the best anyone can do. I’ll do my best to always be the best version of myself possible.

See you soon - Dream" End ID].

[baylardo]

one time i wrote this post halfway out and then was like mmmmm nevermiiiiind and deleted it bc i didnt like my formatting so ive decided to do it AGAIN and just have 0 format hahaha

and im gonna hide this one so i can just be messy and bullet point it but TO PREMISE just MYYYYYYY thoughties on the triplets and nicknames and whatnot hahaha :))))))) just stuff pertaining to names lol,,,,, keep it broad,,,,,,,,,, (YOU GUYS DO WHATEVER!!!!!!! dont stick to this reliably or anything for a guideline i just ponder it every so often LOL)

i actually dont think id considered chakotay naming them when theyre lil salamander nymphs or anything when i'd started the au and jellybeans doing that was SUPER CUTE :) i love Starlight for amelia more than my original idea (which was that kathryn would nickname her that) and i heckiggn ADOREEEEEE him calling philippa Pip. i love both junior AND wanderer for ed im not really set on one or the other hahaha, both make sense.

i think chakotay would be the only one to call philippa Pip and shes VERY fond of him calling her that. (greedily fell in love with this nickname because its the same name John gives to Chiana in farscape and when she asks "why Pip" he explains it's because she's his favorite traveling companion heehee)

with amelia as Starlight im like mmmm MAYBE kathryn would call her that,,, but i think it'd be kinda like using "darling" to her or "precious" :3 definitely chakotay still calls her that though

same with Pip for philippa like MAYBE kathryn slips an "oh, Pip" every so often but its rare or late in the game

most people probably nickname philippa as Peppa

i think alice had the idea one time that amelia would be nicknamed mealybug (meeliebug??? meelie???) i thiiiink by philippa, kinda derogatory but playful, i like that one :)

love that da vinci calls amelia Mia :3 very on brand with her mother

edward is very Ed-zoned by most people, very casual about it, probably doesnt vibe his full name very much lol.

ummmm admittedly i havent read any books pertaining to Chakotay's name culture all that much, supposedly it exists i just havent gotten to it yet, but MAYBE edward would have an inherited name pertaining to that. i'm not sure though. put a pin in that one haha.

ummmm my weird take on kathryn is that (at least in the beginning) she lowkey loathes the shortening of her children's names so she'd pretty strictly refer to them by their full names. like her son having her father's name, philippa (maybe) being the name her and mark had wanted to potentially name a daughter, amelia being AMELIA. like IN TIME i think she'd come around to stuff like Peppa and Ed, but for a long while there's a formality she upholds about her children's names. likeeee idk in some book canon it talks about how kathryn hated when phoebe would call her Kitten (something her father would call her in the Autobio canon,,,,,), shed subsequently call her sister Phoebs which she hated, but there's also the kathryn nicknaming of Goldenbird by her father in Mosaic canon. BUT she always refers to herself as kathryn and rarely do we see any deviation from that,,, likeee with Q calling her Kathy,,,,, and all her silly holodeck names which are equally as lengthy as her own name lol.

philippa HAAAATEEEEES hearing her mother's stern scoldy mother voice call her by her full name, its grating and irritable and doesnt help matters when they quarrel constantly

like they idea that tom calls philippa Pumpkin specifically. :) just as i want to kiss the brain of whoever came up with the idea that he'd call miral Peanut... BRILLIANT... i can see chakotay Also calling philippa Pumpkin though,,,,, head empty on the other two in regards to Tom,,, maybe Honey for amelia idk lol

chakotay gets papa/dad/daddy zoned to the kids, Tom is Tom :) b'elanna is b'elanna

kathryn gets all your typical mom variations but lol i think philippa has AT LEAST once referred to her as Kathryn out of spite <3 maybe amelia calls her captain/admiral more than she should :')

im sure SOMEONE would refer to philippa as Eyebrows,,,,,,,

[arp1033]

It is 6 months to the day that Id's Discord Server was deleted so here are some more stories about him.

When COVID started he and his Boys kidnapped his best friend's sister from a Southern state (cannot recall which one, doesn't really matter) and brought her to Canada where she got a job almost instantly as a nurse despite that fact that A: she wouldn't have had any residency papers, B: Pretty sure you need like, a degree or credential or something to be a nurse and I don't think that shit transfers through country borders very well and C: holy shit why would you brag about that, that is like at minimum 3 felonies in both countries. He said he also "convinced" someone to process her paperwork faster which is how she got a job faster so you can add even more felonies on top of that!

Best friend went to Japan during Covid and worked with the Yakuza to distribute face masks.

"Wait didn't the Yakuza vow to kill him if he ever went back to Japan? Why would his best friend be allowed to help distribute masks?" Yeah so turns out she knew Yakuza members from when she worked on localizing some video games... somehow... and they had her under their protection. Which, again, fully knowing that he was marked for death.

Oh yeah, best friend localized Drakengard 3! That's why all the humor is just his humor 100% and has nothing to do with it. Not being that or him swearing up and down that he didn't know anyone who worked on it until years later when suddenly he did.

He timed his updates of Drakengard so that the day his son was born the update about the giant man eating babies went live just to freak out his wife, I guess? Because I know when *I* am going through a major medical event the first thing i do is check my partner's LP.

Speaking of his son! His son kept drawing really cute crayon pictures of LPs that he overheard Id watching on his computer and Id would scan them and post them to everyone's delight. And then after everything went down people realized "hey wait. All of these pictures have the exact same stain on them, as if this is the same digital canvas..." so yeah Id most likely faked children's crayon drawings.

He got so psyched after watching Promare that when he high-fived someone it caused them both injuries that lasted days.

To finish this off, a reminder that he claimed ot hate landlords (he was a landlord to his best friend whose place was either right next door or a good 10-15 drive away depending on what the story needed) and he hated the militray (he was a PMC that killed a lot of people, but dont worry they never worked with Isreal or the US).

Id was a wierd dude, y'all.

Folks talking about the weirdness of late 1990s/early 2000s forum culture usually focus on the macro-level stuff – the inter-forum beefs, the raids, etc. – but on a personal level they were often even more unhinged. Like, many popular forums had recurring issues with people putting on the persona of a Sickly Artist (often claiming to have a heart condition, though just as often the nature of their ailment would be left unspecified), building a following based on the idea that they were this gentle, tortured artistic genius who could kick the bucket any time, and eventually "dying", only to return a few weeks later in a different Sickly Artist persona and start the whole thing over again. Many of the worst offenders went through this cycle multiple times. Sometimes they weren't even real artists, and were simply misrepresenting someone else's art as their own, which was much easier to get away with because Google Image Search wasn't yet a thing.

[recoverychronicles]

Entry 1.

January - December 2017

The best way to start this part of my life is 7th October 2017. Almost 6 years ago.

I still sit here to this day and think that was a whole lifetime ago, a whole person ago. Is it sick of me to wonder if he’d like the person i had become? I’m not sure if that’s still the psychological grip he had on me, or whether its because at the start i really did love him.

I thought at the start, everything he was telling me about relationships was true, I’d never been in one before, never had a boyfriend before, so who was i to say otherwise? He told me to delete people off of social media platforms, i thought that was a healthy thing to ask of me. He’d ask me to ignore boys at school because it made him uncomfortable, who was i to question that? It all seemed so mundane at the start considering what i knew was to come. Deleting people and posts off social media because he deemed it inappropriate. I was too naive to think otherwise, although we were the same age he had been out of school a year longer than i had, so I trusted that he knew better than me, and to trust what he was telling me. I think eventually he ended up using this against me.

It all started with textbook controlling behaviours, social media control, social control, going through my phone. This all began not even a month into dating, in retrospect it was childish of me to think this was normal behaviour. My relationship with my best friend made him uncomfortable, so i had to take a step back. I believe she is my soul mate. From the day we met when we were 15, we became inseparable, we did everything together, shared a brain and every thought and feeling each other had. We would shower while the other was in the room. He said that was the part that made him uncomfortable, but in the end i believe it was the fact that i might have told her about the malicious things that were going on behind closed doors.

From the day that we met he was controlling, possessive and borderline obsessive. I should have listened to the warning signs from the girls i was with that night.

Knowing him he fed off of the fact that i was inexperienced.

It was my first night clubbing, i was convinced to go out, as it was one of the girls 18th the day before. One of the others in the group ended up going home because they weren’t feeling well, and asked him to look after us. From the moment we went home, he was blasting my phone wanting to hang out, and if the events didn’t follow how they did, any girl would probably be delighted that they guy they hooked up with in town still wanted to see them.

It was 2 weeks after meeting him, meeting him twice, that we went out to dinner on a date. Now that’s actually decent timing in our day and age. I wouldn’t say that’s moving too fast or too slow, just right. However, that night was when he asked me to be “exclusive”, the dude had already told his mum about us? Now, i might have been naive, but that seemed a little… fast? Sudden? I wasn’t sure if that was too soon to be asking the girl you met 2 weeks ago to be “exclusive” with you, so i agreed. Out of my own insecurities and constant fear of rejection, sacred that i was always going to be the D.U.F.F of my friends no matter where i went, i was just happy someone wanted me for something than just my body, i believed i could have something just once.

Throughout the month, i saw him maybe 6 times, and each time he asked me to be his girlfriend, which i followed with “I’m not ready yet, ill tell you when i am”, he just didn’t listen to the second half, and id have to muster up the courage each time to repeat the exact same thing. I should have seen this as my first red flag.

The 3rd of November.

I think the best thing he ever did for me was the way he asked me to be his girlfriend. He had lit candle through the room, with fake rose petals, a bouquet of flowers and a stuffed bear. He had written on a cigarette (we were both smokers, and id made a comment to him that i would only say yes is if he’d asked me on a tailor rolled smoke) “will you be my girlfriend?”, you had to be there for it to be romantic. He had to buy a pack of JPS super kings to fit it on there. Look at me, still trying to romanticise my abuser.

I don’t know if i was fully ready or just felt bad that i was making him wait so long (the irony), so i told him i was ready. My family were headed to the city that night, like they did every Friday, and i went along with them, like i did every Friday so i could see him.

In his defence i had gotten there earlier then we had thought i would, so he was still lighting candles whilst i sat outside and smoked with his housemate.

An hour later the smoke bin outside caught on fire while we were having sex, was that a sign from god? Was that him telling me how the relationship would be and I just ignored it? Albeit there were probably a billion signs like that that i just ignored.

It didn’t take long for him to tell me he loves me. Now, there’s no Minimum of time where its legally or morally okay to tell someone you love them, but at this time, id only known him just over a month. I think he mainly said it out of fear for my upcoming schoolies festival (A weekend long party for year 12s to celebrate finishing school, essentially, I don’t know any other way to describe it). Id made a comment about how I don’t know what love is or what it feels like, and he proceeded to say “i do and I’m not going to make you say it when you’re not ready” proceeded by an “i love you” 30 minutes later in the shower..

Now, when someone tells you that they love you do you A) make them wait for as long as it takes until you feel it to say it back, B) say it back anyway, or a secret third option? Someone tell me, because at the time I wasn’t aware of answer C. So, me being the romantic i was, wrote it back on a cigarette. At the time i thought it was kinda cute, and i still do, so no judging.

So, i said something I wasn’t sure if i meant or felt. Definitely wasn’t appropriate or polite to just take it back, then he would know that i have no idea what I’m talking about.

The arguments soon followed. At the start they weren’t to bad, but he would create a small issue into a massive one that would make me question what the hell i had gotten myself into. Small issues like, I didn’t want to go out drinking that night, even though during the week i said i did, i hugged one of my male friends at our graduation dinner. Bro literally flipped out when my parents said I couldn’t come over one night, he got shitfaced and made his friend drive the 90 minutes to my house. There was another warning sign.

Then the weekend of my schoolies happened. He’d started an argument with me about me going, forced me to invite him along. He went up to the city with my mum and my sister to grab more clothes and have a shower, and the entire time he was gone, you guessed it, we argued. I went down to the festival without him, one of my male friends helped me find my phone i had lost 10 minutes prior. I remember sitting with my 2 best friends at a bench, and them both telling me that they didn’t think me being with him was a good idea, and they had a funny feeling about him, should have listened to them.

When he got back, my friends and i met him half way home, where he had brought the MDMD caps. Now, this incident still fucks me off to this day, its one of the catalysts to losing my best friend to him. The police ended up driving past resulting in him forcing her to take the box of drugs, grabbed my hand, and made me run.

A lot of the 4 year relationship with him, was him forcing, and him making.

The next month went on with purely arguing and controlling behaviour.

He had his work Christmas dinner 18th December. He had the audacity to ask me if i wanted to spend all of my time with him. I was an independent girl, i liked my alone time, everyone does. I was honest and I told him “no, not yet.” It probably would have been better if i had just lied, and let him believe i did, because that conversation didn’t end well. We were arguing in the middle of the CBD on why I didn’t want to spend every waking moment with him. It was insane behaviour. Im running through the city, trying to get him to stir yelling at me, crying, sitting on a fountain. I thought that this was okay?

Boxing Day. Earlier in the month, i had a job interview for one of the local pubs. Having a job was going to be good for me, I hadn’t worked through the entirety of year 12 thinking it would help me focus on my studies, when in reality i ended up partying every second of the school year, and instead of making money like a normal 17 year old would, i started dealing to pay for my party habits. I had told him about getting the job and being excited to have some actual money, to which he responded with unpleasant delight. He thought that this would mean that we would never get to see each other, not on weekends, and not during the week because that’s when he worked. So his solution? Make me reject the job offer. I was set in to to do a trial shift Boxing Day, who was i to say no? That was public holiday rates. This caused a riot within my family, i’d rejected a job offer for a stupid boy. They were right about the stupid part.

I ended up being kicked out, and he was too excited to get me to live with him. Earlier in the month he had already suggested we do that.

Now, according to relationship experts, 6-12 months is the perfect time to move in together, definitely not 1 month into dating.

Living with each other when you’re still getting to know the person you’re dating is never a good sign.

[blainesebastian]

the benefits of getting stood up (pt2)

words: 2,429 ship: austin butler x reader summary: (part 1 was this request), part 2 is a request from @scrambled-eggs-y : maybe him stopping by the aquarium! Like a date after hours at the aquarium would be so cute!! notes: masterlist on my sidebar, thank you for all the requests everyone :) let me know if you’d like to be added to a general taglist warnings: none tag list: @killerqueenfan, @karamelcoveredolicity, @elizabethrosecresswell, @gigisworldsstuff

One of the things you’ve learned thanks to practice in online dating, you’ve stopped holding your breath for things. You’re attempting not to take anything too seriously, keeping things or people high up on a pedestal. When you start doing that? it’s only that much more disappointing when whatever you want doesn’t go your way. It’s just…easier not to get your hopes up, that way when something good happens you can be pleasantly surprised.

You meant what you said about deleting that app when Nick stood you up at that dive bar a few weeks ago, dragging and dropping that thing right into your trash. Not a big loss, right? It’s something you definitely needed to do. You also wouldn’t blame Austin if you exchanged numbers but then didn’t hear from him—part of you expected that he might have given you the wrong set of digits. Connections feel like they make so much more sense in the heat of the night, after a few drinks, in close proximity in a dingy bar. You don’t hold your breath.

Except Austin texts you and keeps up the momentum of messaging you back, carrying on conversations, asking questions and even exchanging pictures (PG, for now?)—Austin has a dalmatian named Fergus and you have plenty of sea creatures at your job to snap shots of and send along. The texting is nice, the few phone calls you’ve shared enjoyable and promising and the only reason you two haven’t settled on an actual date yet is because both of you are busy.

You feel like he has a valid excuse being a celebrity and all—even though the Elvis film is over, he’s got other obligations, events, parties, interviews that tie him up in ways he sometimes doesn’t expect. You though? While your classes do take a toll every so often, most of the time you get dragged into work to cover shifts when people call off unexpectedly.

You love the aquarium…you just kinda can’t stand some of the people who work there. Another drop in the bucket on how animals are just so much better than humans.

Rounding the corner out of the break room, you make sure you have your ID tag on (it was upside down this morning) and make your way to the jellyfish. There’s this display where you can touch the tops of them and give a little spiel to kids about how touching the top won’t sting you—though they have the same feeling against the pads of your fingers as if you were touching sandpaper, or a cat’s tongue.

“Don’t be mad,” You start, tucking your phone against your shoulder for a moment to roll up your sleeves past your elbows, “But I think I have to cancel tonight.”

“I’m not mad,” Austin assures, his tone warm and like honey against your eardrum, “But I’m thinkin’ I might have to change your contact name to ‘Nick’ in my phone if you’re gonna keep standin’ me up.”

And it’s a joke, you know that, smiling a little as you tip your head back towards the ceiling, “God, please don’t. Not even funny.”

Austin smirks and there’s the sound of traffic behind him, “Sorry, I know—besides, not like I haven’t had to rearrange things on us sometimes.”

“The universe hates us.”

A chuckle, “Definitely not workin’ in our favor lately. Maybe retrograde?”

“Tired of mercury in the microwave,” You joke, pausing against a railing in the aquarium that’s right near where you have to get back to work. You got a few minutes and this is one of your favorite spots. The railing is in front of this expansive glass pane that stretches from one floor to the next in the aquarium—big open water, blue light kissing skin, all matters of sea life swimming in a calm circle.

You take a deep breath.

“I got put on another late shift by someone who takes off pretty much every week,” You shake your head, “And I think I’m comin’ down with something.”

“You don’t take care of yourself,” Austin supplies but it’s not in a condescending way—you can hear the concern in his tone, and honestly? He’s kinda right. You’ve been running yourself into the ground and your body has finally had enough. You’re off this weekend though, you can get some sleep—recharge. Unfortunately that means you won’t exactly be up to any dates though, ugh.

Austin’s gonna lose interest before you even have a chance to show him how great you are.

“I know,” There’s a soft whine there that makes Austin chuckle, “Can’t I find someone else to do that for me?”

“Yeah, I think it’s called a day-spa.”

You crinkle your nose before glancing over at the jellyfish exhibit, “I gotta go talk to kids about jellies. But call me later?”

“You got one fun fact you can leave me with?”

Smiling a little, you purse your lips in thought before, “They have no brain and are 98% water.”

“Huh…just like Nick, right?”

You laugh earnestly and you can tell that was exactly Austin’s intention—can hear him smiling over the phone even though you can’t see him. There’s this ridiculous warmth that settles in your belly when you think about him, butterflies fluttering along your ribcage and sticking with you long after the sensation disappears. You like him—even if you haven’t had a chance to go on an official date. You just hope this doesn’t blow up in your face. With Austin it’s really difficult to do the whole ‘lowkey’ feeling thing and just accept whatever happens.

You guess that’s what it feels like when you’ve got something great to lose.

“See you,” Austin promises and you hum.

“Bye.” Hanging up the call, you take another deep breath and walk towards the jellyfish exhibit—definitely recharged to take on the next few hours.

--

You’re not here until close but it certainly feels like that when you started in the morning and now it’s well into the afternoon, almost night, and you’ve still got an hour left before you’re done. Running a hand through your hair, you finish up a small private tour and dip into the backroom again to get your cup of coffee that’s pretty much saving your life at this point.

Looking up, your boss Jerry is coming towards you with a ‘very important business’ face on. Okay, time to put your foot down—if he asks you to cover another shift, you just have to say no—

“Closing early tonight.”

You blink, “What?”

“I’m gonna have you close early—you’re done in an hour, right?”

You’re not following this train of thought but honestly that’s typical for Jerry. But you nod and take another sip of coffee. “Yeah, what’s going on?”

“Private event, had someone call in and rent out the entire aquarium for the night.” Raising your eyebrows, you let out a slow breath because that must have cost a pretty penny. Though who does that at the last minute? You’ve heard that this place has been used for special charity events, weddings, proms…but a private event with no details other than that?

You push aside asking too many questions—you get to go home early, that’s all that matters.

“Cool, okay.”

“We’ll start clearing guests out in about ten minutes, should be enough time for maintenance to clean and then I’ll get you the info on the private event. Just need you to let them in, give a small tour and call it a night. Apparently they’re bringing in anything they might need, just having security stick around tonight.”

“Don’t need to tell me twice.” You smile, happy enough to let in whoever’s personally responsible for making your night easier.

The breakdown happens just as Jerry entails—the aquarium closes, guests are ushered out, maintenance cleans the floors and wipes down as many surfaces as they can get their hands on in the time allotted, other workers clean up their respective areas, feed animals, and clock out. Grabbing the clipboard in the backroom that Jerry left behind with the private event’s info, you run your thumb along the papers attached and make your way to the front door where security is waiting.

“Okay…” You trail off as one of them opens the door for you, “Mr.—”

You blink at the name on the paper: Austin Butler

“Surprised?”

Your head snaps up to see Austin at the door and then almost do a double-take because, “What—what are you doing here?”

Austin licks his lips, taking a step into the aquarium. He’s dressed in a pair of black jeans with one hole in the knee, a soft white button down that has the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, a black pair of booties to complete the look. You feel entirely frumpy in your jeans and work polo, a little fish on the one collar, nametag and all.

“Figured rentin’ out the aquarium was the only way to get your attention.”

And you laugh because this is so…utterly ridiculous. You’re standing here with a clipboard as the doors to the aquarium close, and it takes you a minute to realize that Austin has a few bags with him that the security guards are going through and—this feels like whiplash.

“You…you rented out an aquarium.” You repeat because you’re not sure what else to say.

“We had a date right?” He asks, smiling down at you, “Told you I wasn’t gonna stand you up.”

Your cheeks splotch bright pink, “I think you’re probably let off the hook when I’m the one who had to cancel,” But you’re…so glad he’s here, utterly touched, almost afraid this is some sort of elaborate dream from taking a cat nap in the breakroom before your shift is over. “We could have…gone on a real date, like had food somewhere or…”

Austin chews on his lower lip, taking a step towards you as the guards disperse to their usual posts. He picks up the bags he carried in, “I brought soup cause you said you weren’t feelin’ well. Some wine,” He shrugs, “And I figured what better place to have our first date in than one that you talk a lot about.”

Smiling softly, you set aside the stupid clipboard because you clearly don’t need that. Despite how many times you have to pick up shifts you didn’t ask for; you do love this place—it’s one of the reasons you’re studying to become a marine biologist anyways. It’s important to you.

Your hand reaches out to gently touch his chest, playing with one of the buttons on his shirt, “You just want a free tour.” You tease.

“I wouldn’t say no to that,” Austin grins, motioning to lead the way.

You so badly want to kiss him right now that it’s overwhelming but…you settle for pushing yourself up on your toes and planting your lips on his cheekbone. Short and sweet, to thank him, and he doesn’t seem to mind.

You guide him towards your favorite part of the aquarium and unpin your nametag to put into your pocket because it feels slightly ridiculous wearing it. There’s a spiral walkway that leads down to the lower level and underneath one of the awnings of the upper floor is a cylinder glass room. Taking a short breath, you walk through, looking over your shoulder at Austin. This is what you want to see—the look on his face.

He's tipping his head to look at the ceiling, the surrounding of water around them, the soft cyan blue waves playing through his hair and against his cheeks. It has to be one of the most beautiful things you’ve seen, a darker blue to his eyes as they eventually land on you. You gesture a bit with your arms out,

“This is my favorite spot.”

Austin hums, walking toward a bench in the center of the cylinder. “I can see why.” He sets down the bags in his hands, sticking them into his pockets. There’s a moment of comfortable silence, fish swimming by, sharks gliding overhead.

“Sharks have electroreceptor organs which means they have uh...cells that detect electric fields.” You have no idea why it’s a kneejerk reaction for you to share this, “They use them to locate prey.”

Austin hums, “Like sonar?”

You crinkle your nose, “Kind of?” Sitting on bench, you begin to unpack the bag, taking out the bottle of wine and the thermos filled with soup, “You really didn’t have to do all this.”

“I know,” He sits down next to you, shrugging his one shoulder, “Don’t thank me too much yet, it’s canned soup thanks to the last-minute decision.”

A soft laugh leaves your lips and you shake your head—doesn’t matter to you, it’s the thought that counts. You hand him the bottle of wine and he pops the cork, pouring a small amount into the plastic cups he brought; the blue water gives the red wine an almost royal purple shade.

“I mean,” You clarify, motioning around them to the aquarium, “I’m impressed but you don’t have to impress me.” And you hope that’s not coming across as ungrateful or that you’re not enjoying this, it’s just…you like Austin, you’ll take him any way that he’s willing to offer.

You can tell, as he looks at you, taking a sip of wine…that your comment is not something he’s considered. Maybe that’s a norm for him, thinking he has to go above and beyond, but you’d enjoy whatever first date as long as it was with him. Even it was something as mundane as take-out and a movie on your couch.

“Or I mean—at least rent out a movie theater next time, or maybe an amusement park?” You grin, teasing, nudging his foot with your own. “This is so minor league.”

Austin laughs, leaning his leg into yours until your ankles are pressed together. “Noted.”

You take a sip of wine and Austin opens up the thermos of soup, steam escaping, and your stomach rumbles at the thought—you can’t remember the last time you’ve eaten. Austin’s right—you need to take care of yourself.

Leaning forward, you press your lips to his, hoping you’re not overstepping. He inches closer, cupping your cheek with his hand, his thumb working along your cheekbone.

Though you suppose, with thoughtful dates like these? You might not have to take care of yourself all the time. Admittedly, it’s nice having someone look after you for a change.

--

Hope you guys enjoyed :) I do not picture writing anything else for this universe, but part two was definitely fun! Can never turn down a good aquarium date!