#but id feel like a dick for bailing on the other one right before my start date yk...especially since i rlly liked the ppl i met so far

[skeletons-in-ur-closet]

LET ME GO BACK JUST ONCE PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASE

[hellfire--cult]

Stripper!Billy Hargrove x Fem!Reader

wc: 7.5k

Request by @pastel-pillows: Billy gets hired for a private party. The only rules is to keep it in his pants and for the clients to not touch him... Unless he says so.

+18 MDNI, stipper dancing, grinding, hard on, fingering, roughness, p in v, billy is OOC, he is not an ass, smut, smut, smut

A/N: This is Stripper!Billy from my Do I wanna Know Series. I love you ash for this request, and I hope you and every other horny person for Billy enjoys it.

REBLOGS are true support.

no charge

Billy looked at himself once more in the mirror before grabbing his duffel bag filled with other clothes and things he would need for tonight.

He pays no mind to these kinds of jobs, and Joyce is the one that arranges them. Clients can approach her to talk about hiring one of the strippers for one night for a private gathering or party. Joyce lays down the rules for every client, and she ensures their safety by having their GPS turned on at all times in their cellphones. The job lasts two hours, and if in two hours Joyce doesn’t have any notice from them, she sends someone to the address of the place they are heading over. 

The client must give many personal details such as their full name, legal address, real phone number and it is all cross checked with their IDs. Joyce is very strict when it comes to the boys' safety, so he is really thankful for her taking care of them this way. Not many bosses work the way she does, but Billy guesses it’s just her motherly instinct.

Today he was hired for a birthday party. The one that hired him was the birthday girl's best friend, and she was very direct when she asked for Billy specifically. He walked down the stairs and to see Steve playing with Eddie with the switch controllers as they stared at the screen. “Stop throwing shells at me!” Steve yells at Eddie who only laughs at his friend as he now stands at 4th place in Mario Kart. Billy rolls his eyes as he walks towards the front door.

“Hey! Remember to put the GPS on! We’ll be watching!” Eddie yells at him and Billy only sighs but internally he is grateful he is being taken care of by his closest friends as well.

“Yeah mom.” Billy retorts and then Steve is the one that speaks next.

“Don’t stick the dick in!” 

Billy only groans at that and walks out of the apartment to start heading to the address of the birthday girl. He knows about the rules and the clients know about them too. This is a dance only. The only hands that can be pressed on him are just on his shoulders and if he allows them, on his chest. They cannot touch him indecently in any way or at any point. If the rule is broken he has all the right to head out because he feels uncomfortable and he gets paid in full anyway. 

That happened a few times, but mostly with the older crowd. Women in their 40’s or 50’s. This party was of people his age from what he had read. He threw the duffel bag in the back of his camaro and turned on his GPS and immediately sent a message to Joyce telling her he was heading to the address. Joyce sent him a reminder to be careful and if at any point he has to bail out, to do so.

He starts his car and drives towards the suburban part of town. He has been here a few times for bachelorette parties, so he knows his way around. He looks at the piece of paper in order to get the street and number right and after driving for two more minutes, he reaches the house and he can already hear the music and some girl yelling. He looks at the window and he tries to figure out how many people are there.

A smirk spreads on his face when he sees the birthday girl. 

Oh, this was going to be one of those nights.

You giggled as you danced in the middle with your best friend, your other friends cheering you on. You had put some pink lights to make the space more fun, more enticing. 

It’s not every day that you turn 25, and what better way than to simply get drunk with all of your friends. It’s been so long since you had fun like this, and you can finally be free again thanks to your decision to break things off with your boyfriend after a year. The problem with him was that he was a prude, vanilla, and sadly that interfered with your feelings for him. It didn’t mean you didn’t love him, and it took a while for you to get over the breakup– even if you were the one that did it.

Attraction is very much needed in a relationship, and you had lost it completely for your ex.

He just didn’t want to try anything at all. You came up with ideas, positions and things you could both try and he didn’t find anything interesting. Not even some spanking. It became harder and harder to reach an orgasm with him, and the attraction slowly started fading away. Emotionally he was perfect, but he didn’t match that physically. It had angered you that he wasn’t even willing to try anything for you, so that also impulsed your decision to break things off.

The doorbell rang and you immediately stopped dancing with your best friend and you looked at her with a confused look on your face and then scanned the room. Everyone was here. You didn’t invite anyone else. You let go of her in order to go get the door but was stopped by her with a smile on her face.

“Don’t! Just, stay there, I’ll get it!” You were frowning at the situation but then you saw all your friends giggling with one another, Jeremiah smiling at you as he got a chair right in the middle of the room. What is going on?

“Don’t kill us…” He says to you and you are still staring at him as he looks over your shoulder and you see him giggle with a blush to his face, stepping back into his chair. Heavy boots could be heard as they walked into the living room and you slowly turned around and you really thought that a Greek god of some sort just entered your house. 

He had the brightest set of eyes you’ve ever seen, piercing even, blonde curls styled and pulled back into a half ponytail with some falling towards his shoulders. He was built, and tall, and you couldn’t help but almost salivate as you stared at his plump lips. Lips that slowly spread, showing off his bright teeth to you. 

“Is this the birthday girl?” The man asked and his voice just sent a shiver down your spine instantly. Your best friend snickered behind him and nodded, saying your name to him.

“This is our gift baby, from all of us.” She was smirking at you and then the room cheered. They… They got you a stripper. Oh dear god… You weren’t prepared for this, you’ve never experienced what a stripper could do, never went to a show but– You should have. If men like this work there then it is worth every penny and you were so grateful to your friends right now.

The man took a few steps towards you, his eyes locked with yours, and it might be the alcohol you’ve been drinking but everything simply grows hot as he raises a hand up and places it on your chin, tilting it upwards for you to look at him more properly.

“I’m Billy.” You were completely certain that you looked dazed, as if hypnotized by this man’s looks. You heard Jeremiah woo at him and Billy only chuckled as he leaned towards you. “One rule for you birthday girl. You don’t touch me unless I want you to, got that?”

You nod dumbly at that request, and it was going to be hard to keep your hands to yourself, but out of respect you knew you had to. Billy lets go of your chin, and he turns around to give a nod to your best friend. She bit her lip and headed over to her phone to change the music. He put a request for songs for tonight, and he had asked your preference of dance.

He wanted to know if you would like it rough, or exciting, or slow and enticing. When he gave your best friend his options, she instantly went for slow, yet rough at some parts because she said, and he quotes ‘You needed it.’. He didn’t press for more questions but Joyce did, just so she would know your mental situation and for Billy to know exactly what to do and what to not overdo. 

You needed to be shown what you have been missing the past year.

Billy sat you down on the chair your friends had placed in the middle of the room as they all were sitting around it, small cheers and whistles being heard as your eyes never left Billy’s. He didn’t expect to dance for someone like you tonight. You caught his eye the moment he saw you whipping your hips from side to side as he looked through the window of your home outside. 

There was this carnal need growing inside of him, but he had to focus on the job, not let it get to his head. One of the things he had to make sure of in these kinds of parties or small side jobs was to never, ever, get hard. It wasn’t impossible to do so really, since he was always the one grinding on the people, but if he does get hard it might give the wrong message, and people might feel entitled to touch him, thinking they can do it, just because he is a man with normal reactions.

‘Renegade’ by Aaryan Shah started playing on the speakers and your breathing hitched at the rain sound at the beginning of it. You took a shaky breath in as he started circling around you, his hand softly grazing all over your shoulders, and when the beat started, his hands pressed on your biceps, dragging them all the way down, slowly, and not putting pressure on his fingertips but it was enough to make your skin grow goosebumps from it.

“I’m gonna make you feel wanted…” You didn’t even notice he had gotten close to your ear from behind, his hot breath hitting your skin making you shiver and his low whisper sent a shock that reached your center. Your mind was blocking out everyone else, slowly, as if your friends weren’t cheering you on, or him for that matter. 

“Please…” You replied to him and he was sure he wouldn’t be able to hear you through the music, but he did, and his eyes almost widened at your boldness. You really needed this. He took the opportunity while standing behind you to push his sneakers off by placing the tip of his foot at the back of each and pulling.

He kept circling you until he was standing in front of you again, a smirk on his face as he suddenly ripped his jacket open, taking it off in one swift motion and you were so focused on his face before that you did not notice that he was wearing a button up shirt that was half closed, showing off his chest and some of his abs. 

Your breathing stopped at the sight and he chuckled at your expression. He definitely knew he was attractive, never an ounce of self doubt about that, and that’s what made this job easy for him. But there was something in your eyes that was different from the other girls and women he danced for– Something that was making his body grow a little hotter at each flick of your eyes towards his body.

There was genuine and pure lust in them.

He knew there was desire for him with all those other clients, but you… There was something else, as if you were hungry, starving even. He motioned for you to give him your hand and you took a second to notice what he was saying, raising a shaking hand to him. He licked his lips and bit the bottom one as he made you grip the middle of his open shirt, right under his pecs. 

He gripped your hand tightly, and made you pull it down in one hard motion, surprising you, and all of his buttons flew away as his shirt flew completely open, revealing all of his abdomen to you. You felt your mouth salivate at the sight, the rhythm of the song blasting in your ears, making the moment much more seductive. 

You were expecting strippers to be rough, manhandling you around as you’ve seen in tik tok videos, or instagram, and even magic mike, and just grinding on you aggressively. You didn’t expect this man to be moving slowly, yet it was sending fire currents all over your body at each sudden movement he did.

Billy took his shirt off and smirked as he threw it towards your other friend, Jeremiah, who squealed in delight at it. You had forgotten about your friends, and your eyes blinked as you looked around and you saw all the clapping and cheering going around, only to be pulled back into that bubble of arousal as you felt strong hands grip your chin again, and make you look up into blue orbs that were staring back at you intensely.

“Your attention is only mine tonight. Keep it that way.” Billy smirked as you stared up at him, an amused look on your face. He never expected responses from his dominance, most of the time they just nod at him and let him proceed, but you… you wiped Billy’s smirk away as you smiled at him and actually retorted back to him.

“Yes Sir.”

That word shot right to his dick. He cursed at you in his mind, shaking the feeling of rising arousal he was feeling to keep going with his job. He pulled his hand away from you only for both of your hands to be grabbed by him, pulling you up from the chair, causing you to gasp as you stand on both of your trembling knees. 

He smirked at how you slightly wobbled and he made you press your hands against his chest and then guided you, very slowly, over his chest and down to his abdomen. He was expecting you to be looking at where your hands were going, but your eyes kept locked against his all the time. Your hands were on fire at every dent you passed by, at the heat of his skin, but you didn’t press your hands on him.

And for some reason, Billy was disliking that.

He licked his lips, a smirk appearing on his face as he looked down at his jeans and then back up at you. You followed his gaze and your eyes widened, looking up at him again wondering if you understood right. He guided your hands towards his happy trail, making you graze your fingertips on his V shape and he almost let out a groan at the feeling. Your eyes were now stuck at his form, feeling the soft hairs that went beneath the hem of his denims.

“Open them up.” There were cheers and whistles around at the request, but you couldn’t hear them, just the soft bass that played on the song. Your fingers swiftly unbuttoned his jeans and you took a deep breath in as you got hold of the zipper and started pulling it down. Billy could feel the tip of your thumb as you glided it down with the metal and he felt it. He felt how his bulge was slowly growing. 

You looked up at him when everything was undone and he tilted his head at you, as if telling you that you are missing something. He nodded once towards the floor and back at you, and you felt your heart beating into your ears as you slowly started getting on your knees in front of him. 

And Billy cursed inwardly once more. You look so fucking beautiful like this. 

He almost never took his pants off at a performance. But oh he wanted to right now. He chuckled as you kept yourself on the floor and he walked to your side and then behind you. He felt himself starting to lose control of his desire because you just looked too exquisite to him. It wasn’t that the other clients were not of his liking, but you… something was coming out of your body, almost like pheromones that were pulling him in.

He pressed a hand on your shoulder and he gave you a soft push, enough to make you lose some balance and get on all fours as your hands landed on the floor. Billy couldn’t contain the smirk inside of him because you were completely unaware of your friends around you. You weren’t paying any mind to them any longer and it was all thanks to him. Now he understands what your best friend meant by you needing it. 

Your heart thumped in your chest and your eyes widened when he pressed his hips against your ass, and you felt him. He was hard. It was something normal, wasn’t it? They grind on clients and it is normal for them to get hard. Billy on the other hand, couldn’t help himself as he pressed against you and that made him even harder than before, not caring any longer about the people in the room, just like you weren’t paying mind to them.

He pressed onto you even rougher, prompting you to finally lay down on the floor, hands on both sides of your head as it turned to look at him over your shoulder. Billy salivated at the hazy look in your eyes, pupils blown wide, and he chuckled at you while getting on top of your body, his face coming close to your ear, softly whispering to you.

“Stay still.” And that you did, feeling your thighs clench at his order, cheeks becoming flushed as you wondered what he was going to do. He smirked as he raised himself up on his hands as he hovered over your body and then he parted his legs even wider so he could have some leverage. His hips started swaying back and forth into a sensual motion, grazing over your bottom half every time he went down.

You gasped at the sensual movement, and you held in a groan as the wetness started to soak your underwear. This man had you in a curse at the moment, and you didn’t know if you wanted it to be cured. Were you that desperate that a stripper is making you feel this way? He is just doing his job which is just dancing, nothing more to it.

But fuck will it rise your expectations for other men now.

Billy’s eyebrow twitched as he looked down at you, and all he could think about was ripping that shirt off your body, to feel your skin under his palm. He stops grinding and his hand snakes to the front of your throat and he pulls you with him as he kneels back up. His chest presses against your back, a moan coming out of your throat.

You wanted to take your hand back, to be able to touch him, rub him, feel him. But your hands were kept in place, not wanting this to be over. If you did as you desired he will stop this and leave, and that’s the last thing you want. Billy couldn’t contain himself as he broke his own personal rule and pressed his bulge against your ass, and you heard him growl in his throat.

Your head was spinning and suddenly you felt his free hand grip yours, and your eyes widened when he guided you to where you wanted your hand to actually be. He made you stick your hand into his open pants and you could cup his hardness into your hand. His breath was in your ear and you were sure he was giving you permission now to do as you please, so in front of everyone, you moved your hand, slowly, up and down on his bulge. 

Billy had made up his mind at this point. He is going to break every single rule, every single warning sign thrown out the window. He was going to get his phone out of his bag, message Joyce, and Eddie and Steve that he will take a little bit longer. You felt a shiver run down your spine as his fingers splayed all over your throat, massaging it gently, and his lips came close to your ear, his hot breath fanning onto it.

“Can I give you a present?” He felt you stiffen, and he smirked as your hand stopped rubbing on him due to shock, but then he groaned into your skin as you began to move your hand even harder on him, surprising him as you turned your head to look at him with a smirk on your face.

“A gift?” You dared to ask and he could only smile at you, his lips coming close to yours, hovering over them, and you were dying to move forward and press them against his. You wanted to taste this man, and the next words he said to you made your body tremble suddenly with an urgent need.

“No charge.”

That’s when he pushed you off him and your eyes seemed to come back to reality for a few seconds, the yelling and cheering from your friends sipping into your ears. Sounds you had blocked out completely all this while, dissociating from the world that was around you and Billy. You looked up towards your best friend who had a wide eyed look on her friend as she covered her mouth with her hand. 

Billy walked around you, a smirk on his face all the while, and he went to grab his bag that he left on the front door, winking at your best friend as he passed by, and then he turned around to face you again, tilting his head as if waiting for you to make the next move. 

“Turn the music all the way up.” Those were your simple instructions and your friends cheered on you as you walked towards the stripper you met just a few moments ago. Your best friend gave you a wink and a motion for you to not lock the door. Your friends protected you just in case… because Billy is still a stranger. No matter what the job is, he still is one and you don’t know him.

What you do know, is the size of his dick. And you definitely need it inside of you.

You walk towards him to get hold of his free hand, his jeans still unbuttoned and open, the bulge just trying to break free from them. You gave him one look as if asking one last time if it was okay and he gave you a wink with a teeth showing grin. You turned the both of you and headed upstairs as the music started to increase in volume. You didn’t really care if your friends heard you, not when you deserved this. 

Billy took the opportunity that you had your back towards him to take his phone out of the side pocket of the bag as it hung on his shoulder. He texted his friends and then Joyce. His boss knows what it means when they say it’s taking a little longer, no need to clarify. She always sends a be careful and to keep the GPS on. Eddie is the one to reply to him and he almost lets out a snort at the message.

‘Wrap it.’

Billy puts the phone back in the bag, and then grabs onto the small metallic package he has there, tucking it into his back pocket, as you walk down the hallway of your home. Billy was amazed by your age and the fact that you own a home. None of his business on how you got it, but it was still intriguing. The music, even if loud, was becoming distant, even if a bit, and you were happy your room wasn’t above the living room. 

You opened the door to your bedroom, and the nerves finally kicked in. All the confidence you had earlier on to make a move were now squashed as you turned around to see Billy closing the door behind him, looking down at you as his bag dropped to the floor. Your breathing stammering slightly, not knowing how to move on from here. It’s been so long since you’ve been with a man other than your ex, so you didn’t know how to start this off like you used to.

But Billy knew what you needed, from the moment he saw you, the moment your best friend said your preference. He knew, and he was glad you needed something like that because he loves it that way. 

His hand shot up suddenly, grabbing you by the shoulders and turning you both around so that he could slam you against the closed door. You gasped at how he manhandled you so effortlessly and just took you completely by surprise. He towered over you, gazing down at your eyes and you could feel your knees trembling at how intense his eyes were. His hand raised up to put it under your chin and hold your eyes to his own.

“You need it badly, don’t you? You need a real man–” He pressed his hips against yours and you could feel his bulge against your lower belly, making you whimper against your throat. “To treat you like you deserve.”

You felt yourself clench at nothing in his voice. He had you in the palm of his hand, and his eyes were looking down at you, as if waiting for something. This man knows you want him, but you also know that this man wants you just the same, and that is boosting your ego and your confidence. You never imagined a guy like him to look twice your way… but here he was. A smile spread on your lips as you answered back to him.

“Yes sir~”

At your purr Billy’s lips instantly slammed on yours, a moan escaping your mouth and into his as he did so. His hands moved towards your wrists and he grabbed onto them, pulling them up above your head and using one hand to hold them together and staying there. You were surprised at the sudden movement, a whine coming out of your mouth, while his lips were pulled into a grin in between the kiss. 

His lips moved against yours, roughly, seeking for more as his body fully pressed against yours, chest against chest, and his other free hand went towards your neck, pressing your head against the door as well. You felt yourself becoming wetter by the second, and you moaned in surprise as his thigh came in between your legs, pressing harshly against your center, the seam of your jeans pressing just right against your clit.

He chuckled into the kiss and pulled away, barely, so he could look at your face. Your eyes turned half lidded and wanton moans escaped your lips every time he pressed his knee even harder on you. He took his tongue out and ran it through your bottom lip, gently. You tasted divine, but he wasn’t here to be gentle tonight. He knew you didn’t want him to be gentle either.

Your hips started moving against his thigh, and he looked down at your movements as you rode him. He felt his cock twitch in his underwear, and he looked back up to your face and he took his hand away from your neck. He was surprised to hear you whine at the loss of his grip, but he then started sliding his hand down, reaching the button of your pants, making your eyes snap wide to look at him.

“Let me show you what you’ve been missing, sweets.” The grip on your wrists tightened as he unbuttoned your jeans and pulled your zipper down. You couldn’t hear the music or anything but your beating heart. It was just a constant pumping of blood in your ear. You felt his fingertips slide into the elastic of your panties, and you shivered at the tickling sensation he was leaving behind each time he inched closer to your cunt.

“Please, please Billy…” You begged, and who was Billy to deny you when you asked so nicely? He smiled down at you as his fingers found the bundle of nerves that made a moan come out of your lips without shame. He gave it a few circling motions and your hips were trying to grind against him.

His face leaned down towards your neck, inhaling deeply to take in your scent, your perfume. You whimpered when you felt his hand moving lower and his lips closing onto the skin of your neck, leaving kisses over it. You gasped when he suddenly ran his fingers through your drenched folds, making your skin flush completely, a chuckle escaping his lips and onto your neck.

“Look how wet you already are, baby.” Your arms were starting to hurt from being pinned for this long above your head, but that pain was thrown out of the window when you felt a finger of his running over and over your folds in order to wet it before entering you. You gasped as you threw your head back, leaving Billy more access to your neck.

He was becoming drunk of how wet you were for him as he pumped his finger in and out of you. Damn, he really wanted to taste you now, but he had to move quickly. He couldn’t spend the night here, nor take his sweet time with you. At least… not today.

“Billy– Billy, fuck–” You were moaning his name, and he couldn’t help himself but bite onto your neck as he inserted a second finger in you, his pace quickening. You couldn’t believe how good you could feel with just fingers. He was curling them in the right position, hitting your spongy spot over and over, rubbing his fingertips against it. 

He let go of your neck in order to kiss you again so he could swallow your moans into his throat. He took the opportunity of your mouth being open and his mouth instantly slipped in, clashing against yours. You tasted divine. If you tasted like this in your mouth, his resolve of not eating you out was wavering. 

His tongue danced with yours, his fingers going deep inside you, curled as he pressed the belly of his palm against your clit and moved his hand rapidly back and forth, making the movements of your tongue falter as loud moans went from your throat to his. He pulled away in order to hear you and your loud whimpers were music to his ears.

“Fuck, look at you…” He was mesmerized by you, your head thrown back onto the door as his fingers kept moving. He then stopped all together, making you whine at the loss of friction. You were feeling so good and he decided to stop now? His hand finally lets go of your wrists and you sigh in relief as you pull them down to your sides once again. His fingers leave you, and he pulls them out of your underwear to look at them. 

You are looking at him as he smirks at you, taking his fingers into his mouth, his eyes closing as he tastes you on his tongue. Fuck, you were sweeter down there. He should have eaten you out instead of fingering you. He moaned into his fingers and you clenched onto nothing at the sound. 

When his fingers left his mouth, he opened his eyes to find yours. His hands then grabbed the hem of your pants and he crouched in order to pull them down along with your now soaked underwear. You couldn’t help but blush in embarrassment. You stepped out of them and he stood up as he scanned you again.

“W–What?”

“Take your shirt off.” You gulped at how demanding he sounded, but you complied in just a second. You pulled your shirt over your head and threw it across the room. He raised a finger towards the strap of your red lace bra, pulling it to only let it go so it would snap against your skin, making you gasp. “Cute, but it needs to go too.”

You lick your lips and you take your hands behind you to unclasp your bra. His eyes were digging holes onto every part of your body from how intense he was looking at you. You took the bra off and threw it somewhere, and you really didn’t care if it got lost. He stood there, just taking your naked body in. His dick twitched again and he knew this was his limit.

You saw him reach behind him and then put something in his mouth. Your eyes widened when you saw the aluminum foil square that is in between his teeth. He smirked at you as he pulled his pants and boxers down. He didn’t step out of them just yet, and one of his hands grabbed onto the foil, and with his teeth he ripped it open, taking the rubber out. 

Your eyes went down towards his dick and, holy shit. He was huge. Your sense of touch was spot on before. His bulge felt… bulky, and now you can confirm it was because he was big. He followed your gaze and he chuckled, making your eyes look back up at him again. He licked the inside of his bottom lip as he handed the rubber to you.

Your breathing was heavy as you grabbed onto it, and you pressed onto the tip to then roll it down onto his cock. He threw his head back in a circle at the feel of your hands around him. The primal part of him switched on, and he was going to show you what he could do, what the others didn’t dare to do to you.

Your hands immediately flew away as you saw him crouch again, his hands cupping right under your ass and prompting you to jump. His hands cupped your ass tightly, your arms wrapping around his shoulders, your legs around his waist so you wouldn’t fall. He smirked at you as he pressed you harder against the wall so he could take one hand away from your ass so he could line himself up to you.

You threw your head back, a loud moan escaping you as you start feeling the stretch of him entering you. His hand went back to cupping your ass, holding you up and onto the wall. He cursed under his breath as he felt how tight you were. He kept moving forward into you, gasps escaping your lips that caused him to grin at you.

“Fu-Fuck–” You were already cock drunk, and he hadn’t bottomed out yet. You heard him call out your name to you and you looked down to see him smirking at you, making you frown slightly only for him to slam himself inside of you in one motion, knocking the air out of your lungs in a choke. 

“You’re so fucking tight, you’re sucking me in.” He groaned out as he felt you clenching around him, adjusting to him as you writhed on his hold. He then moved his hips back and then back in, first in a slow movement as he started building up in tempo, each minute that passed. 

Moans soon filled the room, the slamming of your body against the door as he thrusted in and out of you as you started falling into a state of euphoria. You never felt like this before. You had your share of experiences, but it was never like this, and he just stuck his dick in. He didn’t do anything special, but the foreplay and the edging was enough to make you lose your head the instant he put the tip in.

Your hands were digging onto his shoulders as you chanted his name like a mantra, bodies becoming sweaty as he started increasing his pace, your moans becoming louder and some whimper were thrown into the mix as well. His pelvis was hitting against your clit thanks to the position as well, the burning in your belly starting to form. 

“It feels so good, it feels so fucking good–!” You were starting to moan out words, things you never did before. You never liked dirty talking and that was because it had never been done to you. He chuckled and you felt him grip onto your ass cheeks even tighter and he pulled you both off the door so he could stand up straight, his back a little bit bent backwards.

“Yeah?” He smirked as he used his strength to raise you up and then make you fall down on his dick again. You moaned loudly at that, the new position letting him hit your G-spot perfectly. His hands guided you up and down so you would bounce on his cock, your arms now wrapped completely around his shoulders. 

You nodded dumbly as you felt your eyes becoming teary from how deep he was hitting you and it never stopped, in and out, in and out. Your mouth fell open with silent moans, with whimpers, whines, groans, huffs of air. Billy was trying to hold them in, but you felt exquisite on his dick, tight, and clenching every so often, so many grunts escaped into the air from his throat.

“Shit– Oh god–” Your belly was burning, the coil turning, tightening, and he could feel it, so he braced himself on his feet in order to slam you even harder down on his dick in a slow pace. Your eyes were wide as you looked up at the ceiling, your vision starting to go white as the burning sensation came closer and closer, your walls clenching around him repeatedly.

“Come on baby, cum on my dick, come on… Let me feel you.” The dirty talking did it for you. The elastic band snapped instantly, and you let out a loud cry of his name as your walls clenched tightly around him and he growled as he tried to move but you were sucking him in and not letting go. Your legs trembled around him as your nails started to dig on his back. 

He rode your high until he felt you unclench, the both of you breathing heavily as he sits inside of you. He could feel your body starting to slump on him, making it harder to keep you up. He licked his lips and backed up towards your bed, turning around to throw you into it. It took you by surprise, snapping you back to reality, looking up at him through the tears of your eyes.

“You didn’t–?” You asked innocently and Billy only smirked through his panting. 

“On all fours.” He ordered and you took a deep breath in to hide the gasp as you complied, your ass facing him as your knees and hands were on the mattress of the bed, your calves and feet hanging off the edge of the bed. 

“Like this?” You ask as you wiggle your ass for him, teasingly, and Billy was surprised you still had this spark in you. Maybe it was a spark that never came out before because the chance had never presented itself for you.

“Put your fucking ass up.” You gasped at how rough he sounded, but a small smirk appeared on your face as you slowly laid your upper body down on the bed, your back arching forward so you could stick your ass out even more for him. 

“Like this~?” You purr this time and you hear a hum of approval, only to then feel a hand slamming against one of your ass cheeks, causing you to choke out a moan in surprise. 

“What a view.” He was salivating as he looked at the roundness of your cheeks, wanting to sink his teeth on your flesh. You wiggled your ass at him again and he chuckled in desire as he raised his hand up to slap your other ass cheek, making you yelp and clench onto thin air, a smile on your face that was on the mattress. “Forward.”

You complied and moved your body a little more into the middle of the bed so he could kneel in between your legs. He grabbed onto his dick and rubbed the tip on your clit, slapping it a few times which caused you to whimper. He pressed the tip in through your fold and didn’t wait for a second to grab your hips and slam himself back into you.

You moaned against the bed as his pace turned brutal, piercing even. He didn’t do the slow pace at first like before, but you didn’t mind the roughness, you actually loved it. This is what you always needed, what you always wanted, and it was finally being given to you. 

Billy threw his head back as his eyes closed at how much you were clenching around him still thanks to the overstimulation. He growled when he looked down at the bouncing of your ass against his hips, seeing himself going in and out of you. He raised his hand up and smacked your ass again, seeing it jiggle as he kept thrusting in and out of you.

You choked out a moan and he could see the smile on your face as he repeated the action, two and three more times. He smirked as he pulled himself forward, and his hand came to the side of your head, and he pressed you against the mattress even more, making you instinctively raise your ass up even more as your knees slid down a little bit. 

His thrusts became deep and the sound of skin slapping bounced from wall to wall. Your moans were muffled against the mattress, and your smile was still on your lips as his hand pressed even harder on the side of your head. You were immediately feeling the burning sensation in your belly and you wanted him to touch you, you needed it again.

“Billy, Billy, I need to cum again, please–” SMACK. 

“You’re going to cum with my cock only, so fucking take what I give you.” You moaned at his words, your bodies going back and forth from how deep he was moving in you. 

“Yes Sir, yes Sir!” His dick twitched inside of you at your chants, and he groaned loudly mixed with a moan as he felt his balls clench with the need to cum. He needed to cum while you clenched around him, and he knew you were close thanks to your walls fluttering every so often as he kept thrusting into you, his hand still pressing onto your head.

The thrill of it, the roughness and the sound of his groans from how good he was feeling with you made your belly explode again, even harder than before. You yelled onto the mattress as your vision turned white, your mind becoming mush as you clenched tightly around him as if it were a life source.

“Fuck–” He gave more thrusts, fast and deep ones until the last two faltered slightly and then a moan escaped his lips as he spilled into the condom. He trembled as ropes of cum left him, one after the other. He was breathing heavily as he tried to come back to earth. He looked down at you and he let go of your head to reveal you huffing for air against the mattress. “You with me?”

You gave him one nod and he winced when he pulled out of you, slowly, and you whined at the emptiness of it. He pulled the condom off and he was surprised by how much he had spilled inside of it. It’s been a while since he came this hard. His eyes turned to your figure and a smirk appeared on his face. He called out your name and that made you snap back into reality, turning around on the bed to lay down on your back.

“Yeah…?” It was a soft moan, your breath still trying to settle into a normal rhythm again. 

Billy came back home only to find Eddie still up and talking on the phone with his girl. 

“It’s 1 AM. What are you two doing up?” Billy groans as he walks towards the kitchen, throwing the duffel bag onto the floor. He was wearing the extra clothes he took in there, and Eddie examined him, up and down. 

“Well… was it a good show?” Billy opened the fridge and took a water bottle out and took a long sip out of it. He looked at Eddie a smirk forming on his face once more. 

“I may have found a student myself.” 

A/N: Im getting to write my pending requests, so be patient with me. I hope you all enjoyed this smutty thing, and I love billy so sue me.

I love you ash.

[nowandajenn]

Hard To Get

Pairng: Chris Evans x reader

Warnings: None, except for Chris being doggedly persistent lol

Chris watches as you and a group of your best friends come into the bar, laughing and joking, arms slung over each other’s shoulders. 

“Hey, Mike! How are ya?” one of the girls calls out, smiling ear to ear. 

“Better than some, worse than others….” Mike, the owner says. 

“Annoyed by all!” you both say in unison, laughing. 

Mike turns to the server, a young guy in his late 20s who’s only been working there for about two weeks. 

“You give this girl whatever she wants tonight, on the house. It’s her birthday.” he says. 

You step forward and press a big kiss to his cheek and throw your arms around him. 

“You’re the best!” you exclaim. 

Chris doesn’t know exactly what it is exactly that draws him in; if it’s your smile, or the way you laugh, or if it’s the mischevious twinkle in your eye, but all he knows is he wants more. 

45 minutes later, Chris is watching as you’re bent over the pool table in the corner, trying to find the perfect angle to take your shot. You’re not dressed to the nines or anything, but you make a pair of skinny jeans that make your ass pop, and a purple sequined halter top that affords him a nice view of your cleavage look like the most amazing outfit in the world.

“Would you just go over and talk to her already?” Josh asks him.

“I’m working up to it.” Chris says defensively. 

“Well, you better hurry it up before this place closes and you lose your chance forever.”

“Not forever. She obviously comes in here a lot. She seems like she knows the owner pretty well.”

“Yeah, but knowing your luck, you won’t be back in town for months, and by that time, she might be coming in with a new boyfriend. So just shoot your shot already.” 

“You’re a real dick, you know that?”

Josh just smirks. 

You sit down at the bar to take a break from dancing and to order some wings and more drinks for you and your friends. After a spectacularly shitty week that saw you passed over for a promotion that you deserved and being stood up by a blind date (never again), spending your birthday out with your best girlfriends is the perfect way to unwind and forget about it all. 

You’re waiting for your food and sipping your beer when a guy who looks remarkably like Chris Evans sits down next to you. 

“Hey, can I get a Stella?” he asks the bartender. He nods and gets the beer from the cooler and then pops the top and sets it in front of him. 

“Cheers.” he says. You flash him a smile and touch your bottle of Sam Adams to his beer before you both take a drink. 

“So, I heard it’s your birthday.” he says. 

You laugh and look down at your watch. 

“Only for another half an hour, technically.” you tell him. 

“It’s my birthday too.” 

“No kidding?” you ask. 

“Nope. 39.” 

You laugh. “Prove it.”

He pulls out his ID, holding his thumb over the address as you scan it. 

Holy shit, this IS Chris Evans!!

Your eyes settle on the date of birth, and sure enough, it’s June 13th, 1981. 

“Well, happy birthday to us.” you say with a grin, and you clink your bottle against his once more. 

“Did you want to dance?” Chris asks. 

“Oh…..I…..” you turn around and look towards where your friends are congregated. 

“I’m really flattered, I am, but I don’t want to be an asshole and bail on my friends, you know?” 

You feel bad immediately when you see his face fall slightly. 

“It’s okay. I understand. You should go have fun. You’re only young once.” he tells me. 

You apologize once more before slipping off the barstool and heading back to your friends.

2am finds you outside, sweaty and needing some fresh air after dancing your ass off without taking a break. 

You’re just about to light your cigarette when you hear a voice coming from your left side. 

“Can I bum a smoke?” 

You almost drop your lighter; you really thought you were the only one out here.

“Jesus Christ, make a noise!” you say, holding your hand over your heart. 

“Sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.” Chris says. 

You fish your pack out of your purse and pull out a cigarette and hand it to Chris and then hand him your lighter. 

“You smoke but you don’t carry cigarettes?” you ask. 

“I’m more of a social smoker. I try not to make it a habit.” he explains. 

You make small talk as you smoke, and you laugh at his cheesy dad jokes. He really is cute and funny and charming, but you’re really not looking for anything right now. Especially not with someone famous. You can only imagine what a headache THAT must be. 

“So, you ready to dance with me now?” he asks, smirking. 

You laugh. “My God, you are tenacious as hell.” 

He shrugs. “Well, I didn’t get this far in life by being shy and keeping quiet. I don’t know what it is….but I saw you and my heart just kind of skipped. I know that sounds so stupid and cliche’, but something just drew me to you.” he says. 

You sigh. 

“Can I be really honest with you?” you ask. 

He nods. 

“I’m coming off of a really shitty week. Actually, it’s been a pretty shitty year. It’s kind of just been a string of disappointments all in a row. And I promised myself that I would start off 35 the right way. I’m going to find a new job, I’m not going to get wrapped up in guys and their bullshit. I’ve spent way too much time focused on other people and their happiness, that I’ve completely ignored my own. I like you. I really do, but I’m just not looking to fall into the same habits. It’s nothing against you. It’s just the fact that I’ve been burned one too many times and I’m kinda over it.” 

“I get it. Honestly, I do. Trust me, I’ve been where you are now. It’s exhausting being hurt so many times.” he says. 

Before you can say anything else, he gives you a beautiful smile before stubbing out his cigarette and turning to go back inside. 

Again, you feel like an asshole. 

About thirty minutes before last call, all hell breaks loose. Your friends have all decided to call it a night, citing early mornings and needing to relieve babysitters as reasons for bailing, but you’ve decided to stick around a little longer. 

A group of really drunk dudes have decided to throw down and you’re just desperately trying not to get in the way. You don’t feel like being smooshed to death by one of the assholes. 

A beer bottle gets thrown your way, and before you can even wince or make a move, you’re hitting the floor and there’s a huge weight on top of you. You crack one eye open to see what’s happening, to find Chris on top of you. 

“Hi.” you breathe out. 

“Hi. Sorry. I saw that bottle headed your way, and I just kind of….”

“Decided to throw yourself on me?” you ask, laughing. 

He looks down, between himself and you and shrugs. 

“Pretty much, yeah.” 

By the time you both get up off the floor, the fight has broken up, and the offending parties have been escorted out. 

“Thank you. For saving me from death by beer bottle.” you tell him. 

“I don’t think it would have been THAT bad, honestly.” he chuckles. 

“Still….thank you.”

You don’t know what comes over you, but you raise up on your toes and press a soft kiss to Chris’ lips. 

The two of you just stand there for a moment, staring at each other, trying to process exactly what just happened. 

“I’m sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t-”

You don’t get a chance to finish because Chris wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you closer before pressing his lips against yours, and kissing you soundly. 

By the time you break apart for air, they’re calling last call, and you’re trying to get the oxygen back to your brain. 

“Do you want to get out of here?” 

You nod. “Mmmhmm. Yeah. I do.” 

 The Usual Suspects: @averyrogers83 @wordywarriorwrites @imanuglywombat @joannaliceevans-fanficblog @hlkwrites @reminiscingrogers @mom—nicole @jtargaryen18 @alexakeyloveloki @kelbabyblue @sarahp879 @moonlessnight14 @mojean13 @mrskokitztelford @artisticrogers1972 @southerngracela @star-spangled-man-with-a-plan @mybesttobobcratchit @gracethegeek9902 @mdemontespan1667 @marvelfansworld @capslut2014 @dispatchvampire @jamielea81 @jamesbarnesappreciationsociety​ @nerdy-bookworm-1998​ @southerngracela​ @what-is-your-plan-today @letsdisneythings​ @theladybiers @lexeeehhh @sweater-daddiesdumbdork​ @autumnrose40 @donutloverxo​ @harrysthiccthighss​ @jessayw

@smediumsmeatbae

Kinktober 2020: @saiyanprincessswanie​ @superquirky-blog

[the-ss-zemyx]

PVP(umpkin Spice Lattes)

Zexion and Arpeggio are Discord friends. They chat in private messages, raid in Verum Rex together, and may or may not have feelings for each other.

Ienzo and Demyx are college roommates. They hate each other, for the most part. At least they can both agree on pumpkin spice lattes.

Happy 2nd Zemyx Day of 2020!!

Specifically for today, the S.S. Zemyx Discord Server hosted a collaborative fic-writing event! Over the course of the past five days, four of our writing members teamed up on a Google Doc in one glorious, inspirational, chaotic, frankenstein-esque fic-writing bonanza! That's right, the fic you're about to read is the product of -four- people's efforts!  Enjoy!! :D

(A HUGE thanks to my co-writers: Aliceslantern, Ennarcia, and Carbonpixel. This was a hell of a lot of fun to do and I'm immensely proud of us!! - Mod Arxsia)

Also available on AO3!

__________

      Demyx hated his roommate. Okay, no, hate was a strong word, and Demyx did his best to be a friendly, outgoing sort of guy, so ‘hate’ was definitely too strong a word. He liked to make friends. Having friends was nice. Having friends was very nice, and so, he tried to give everyone the benefit of the doubt. But his roommate was a different story, and Demyx did not like his roommate very much at all.

At least he was easy on the eyes, because everything else about him got on Demyx’s last nerve. His name was Ienzo, but his name might as well have been "Jerk," with a capital J. When he wasn't hogging the Internet bandwidth doing God-knows-what on a chunky Alienware laptop, he was lecturing Demyx on the virtues of keeping the floor free from dirty clothes and giving empty soda cans a proper burial in the plastic wastebasket by the door. Lame. Also, he was a little condescending. That jerk . 

One day, Ienzo burst into their dorm room with the gusto of a hurricane aiming to speak to a manager about a botched coffee order. He swung his laptop bag onto his mattress. It bounced when it landed. "Out," he commanded.

Demyx looked up from his phone. He sat with his legs crossed on his own bed, his Discord app open to a private message thread on his phone. In a few minutes, one of his server friends, a guy with the display name "The Cloaked Schemer" but going by his Discord handle, Zexion#1309, would be starting a voice call with him. It was kind of a big deal--they had been chatting in their shared server for almost a year, and in private messages for almost as long, but they had yet to actually speak to each other. "I'm actually busy," Demyx said.

"I don't care. Out."

It turned into an argument, of course, neither yielding and probably disturbing their neighbors with the yelling. Yep, Demyx didn’t like his roommate one bit. 

He ended up in the lounge by the kitchen, utterly fuming, cursing his idea to “go rando” with a roommate all the while. It’s the best way to make friends, Demyx , his mother had told him. What better friend than a roommate?

Very funny.

At least he’d been able to grab his phone. Of course, Zexion was wondering where the hell he was. 

The Cloaked Schemer: Do you need to reschedule?

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: roommate’s being a dick and kicked me out. Sorry!

The Cloaked Schemer: Ah, I too am having roommate troubles. I can sympathize. I know too well what it’s like when one’s privacy is denied.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: he’s driving me NUTS! 

The Cloaked Schemer: Have you tried talking to him about it?

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: He didn’t exactly uh seem receptive to talking

The Cloaked Schemer: It’s always a good idea to try for maturity first.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: I did! Not my fault the guy wasn’t having it.

Anyway. Id hate to let that guy take up any more time.

Hru?

The Cloaked Schemer: Doing as well as I can, I suppose. I’m enjoying my classes so far. It seems a little easy, but then again, it is only one of the first weeks. Things should pick up more by midterms.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: ure too smart zexy. And didnt you skip a grade?

The Cloaked Schemer: A year, yes. I don’t think they call them grades in college.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Considering some of the people ive met, couldve fooled me.

The Cloaked Schemer: If I’m hoping to have a grad degree within five years, I have to fast track it. I’d rather not spend much more time in undergrad than necessary.

Though I am especially resentful that, despite the fact that I am technically a sophomore, I’m considered enough of a freshman to still be required to dorm.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: That blows

But dude, ure here. Might as well try to enjoy the journey, yaknow?

The Cloaked Schemer: Oh, Arpeggio. Your naivete is too obvious sometimes. It’s sweet, I think.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: har har

The Cloaked Schemer: I am disappointed though. I was looking forward to meeting you--in a manner of speaking. You’re probably one of the most sane people from our Verum Rex server.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Issa game, bro. Some of them, idk, take it a little too seriously

The Cloaked Schemer: Well, aspects of it are worth being taken seriously, but I understand what you mean.

Though the ship wars are grating.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: ha! Yeah.

The Cloaked Schemer: We’ll have to find some other time, then.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Mann i was hoping to see if you sound as smart as you type

The Cloaked Schemer: You flatter me.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Do you think if we lived near each other we would hang out?

The Cloaked Schemer: If it’s all the same, I’d prefer to keep my location anonymous.

At least for now.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: I know. Just a hypothetical question

The Cloaked Schemer: I’d like to say yes.

But for all I know, you’re actually a forty year old serial killer who lives in his mother’s basement.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: harsh

You listen to 2 many true crime podcasts 

Anyway, I g2g. See if the roomie will let me back in. Got homework.

The Cloaked Schemer: Enjoy your night, Arpeggio.

Hopefully one of us has a good one.

Demyx closed the app and repocketed his phone. He flopped back on the lounge couch, eyes squinting at the fluorescent lights above and his limbs ragdolling in uncomfortable directions. A good night, huh? It’d be better if he could spend time in his own room without having to engage in guerilla combat whenever he wanted to exist in his own space. Wishful thinking, he thought.

__________

      Ienzo stared at the chatlog open on his computer screen. The circle next to Arpeggio’s icon turned a dull gray, and the remaining bits of Ienzo’s hope for decent conversation dulled with it. He had finally caught up enough with his classwork to have some free time to spend, finally arranged to voice chat with Arpeggio, finally gotten Demyx to leave the god-forsaken room so he could have the one conversation he’d been looking forward to for weeks , and now… nothing. All that planning, gone to waste. Another wave of irritation hit him, and suddenly he was out of bed and grabbing his keys. He needed some tea.

Ienzo didn’t get tea at the coffee shop, despite his plans. The alluring, hipster scent of pumpkin spice hit his nose instead, and he caved before he could stop himself.

The college employed students as baristas in the campus coffee shop, as part of the work-study financial aid, so it wasn’t uncommon to see one’s peers at the shop. “Hey, Ienzo,” Riku said. It was getting late; chairs were already on top of all the tables. They’d met in Ienzo’s anthropology class.

“I’m not too late, am I?”

“I can bend the rules for you.” He went back behind the counter. “What’ll it be? Your usual?”

He blushed guiltily. “Pumpkin spice. Please.” Curse that glorious, wonderful scent.

He smirked. “Coming right up.”

“I know it’s dreadfully popular.”

“Yeah, cause it’s good ,” Riku said. “As long as you’re not one of those “half-caff, no whip, vanilla and almond, five shots” type of people.”

“Why complicate coffee so much?”

Riku handed him the paper cup. “At that point, just drink coffee-flavored syrup.” There was a pleasant lull for a moment. Riku began cleaning the espresso machine. “So why are you out so late? Don’t you have an early class tomorrow?”

Ienzo grimaced. “My roommate and I got into a fight.”

“...Again?”

“We are not well suited for each other.” A sigh. “I went to the Residence Life office to try and apply for another room, but the period for that is over. I was told, and I quote, “unless he’s hurting you, tough it out.””

Riku chuckled. 

“He is simply-- obnoxious ,” Ienzo continued, the pressing need to vent taking over. “Slobby, loud, and always around at precisely the most inopportune times. I was supposed to have a call with a good friend of mine, and it took some doing just to get him out.”

“Right, your Discord friend.”

“You have a good memory.” Ienzo swished the coffee around a little; it was slightly too hot to drink.

“The one you have a crush on,” Riku said with a grin.

Ienzo flushed painfully. “I do not have feelings for him,” he said.

“Dunno. You managed to bring that call up in almost every conversation we’ve had. If he was really just your friend, would you be that excited? Enough to hype about it for weeks?”

Ienzo shrugged. “I do not know where he’s from, I don’t know his real name, I don’t even know what he looks like. For all I know, he only uses he/him pronouns online.”

“And?”

“I just… see no reason to desire something I cannot have.”

Riku wiped at the counter. “Oh, don’t be so doom and gloom,” he said. “If the call matters so much, it’s going to happen eventually.”

“I know.” He smiled. “Well, thanks for the tea and sympathy. Er, coffee and sympathy.” 

“Any time.”

“Enjoy the rest of your night.”

“You too. Play nice.” 

“Just promise to bail me out if things go awry, will you?”

“Ha, on my salary?” Riku winked.

Ienzo left the coffee shop. He didn’t want to return to the dorms yet, but the fall night was calm and quiet. He checked his phone (maybe Arpeggio was free? Though he did say he had homework…).

As a stroke of luck, he had a message waiting for him.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: I have a room again! \o/ 

the jerk was gone when I got back!

The Cloaked Schemer: How fortunate for you. I assume you’re flying through your homework now?

Mel0d10us N0cturn3: nope! :p 

this science paper is kicking my ass!

Im really no good at this sort of thing

The Cloaked Schemer: Do you have any tutors available? Ordinarily I’d love to help but it might be easier and more private to go there instead.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: \o/

We actually do have one of those tutoring centers I think! Thanks for the idea!

Don't want you to waste your special brain-powers on little ol’ me lol

The Cloaked Schemer: I’d hardly call helping you a waste of my “special brain powers.”

It’s not a bad idea to check your local resources though.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: o7

Don’t think I’m gonna make any progress on this paper tonight tho lol

The Cloaked Schemer: Giving up already? I didn’t have you pegged for a quitter.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Awww, come on! Don’t guilt meeee

My poor brain!

It’s mush!

;-; will you not spare some mercy for my poor mushy brain?

The Cloaked Schemer: I suppose just this once, provided you use your resources and go to the tutoring center.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: o7 Yes sir !

First thing in the morning!

My mushy brain thanks you for your mercy and endless kindness!

Ienzo’s cheeks grew warm, but whether it was from the message on the screen or the sip of pumpkin spice coffee currently running down his throat, he neither knew nor was willing to explore.

Despite the late hour, there were plenty of students milling about campus, taking up their little spaces. It had taken him some time to find an empty bench to sit on, but one eventually caught his eye and he claimed it immediately, sitting down with his coffee in one hand and phone in the other.

The sky was inky black, dotted with stars, the sun long gone by now. Nights were starting to grow just a tad chilly, the beginnings of autumn seeping into the atmosphere. It was Ienzo’s favorite season and the aroma of pumpkin spice wafting past his nose was just what he needed to make up for the disappointment of having his voice call with Arpeggio abruptly cancelled.

Well, maybe not entirely. He’d been really looking forward to hearing Arpeggio’s voice for the first time, but this did nicely enough, he supposed. It was better than sitting around stewing in annoyance over his damned roommate anyway.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: so what are you up to right now?

The Cloaked Schemer: It’s a lovely night out. I needed some tea. Got coffee instead.

What is it about pumpkin spice that’s so irresistible? 

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Never wouldve pictured YOU as a devotee of the PSL.

The Cloaked Schemer: Guilty pleasure. 

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: theyre so good. I can’t have that many of them cause caffeine makes me SLEEPY

The Cloaked Schemer: Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me at all.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: whats that supposed to mean?

The Cloaked Schemer: Nothing derogatory, I assure you.

Though the idea of you being hopped up on caffeine amuses me.

You seem like one of those people who has energy all the time.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: i wish

The Cloaked Schemer: I should--begrudgingly--head back to my room.

You should try working on that paper.

I mean it about the tutor.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: yeah, yeah. I hear ya

Hopefully your roommates not being a dick anymore

The Cloaked Schemer: Fat chance. M3l0d10us N0cturn3: enjoy your coffee~~

__________

      Demyx sat for a long time looking at that exchange. He could’ve heard Zexion say those words. He was just so painfully smart, but Demyx could listen to him say anything. About anything. For hours.

He showered and got ready for bed, hoping that Ienzo would stay gone. But as it was, he was back. Ienzo scowled in greeting.

“Nice to see you too,” Demyx muttered. He noticed the coffee cup Ienzo had set down. Ienzo seemed to live on caffeine and spite. 

“I needed to clear my head, as I do not have the luxury of privacy.”

“Well I gotta sleep somewhere,” Demyx said. He crawled into bed. Ienzo rolled his eyes. Demyx saw him grab his own shower caddy and head out to the communal bathroom. He thought he smelled--he blinked. Slowly, ever so slowly, he got up, crossed over to the cup, and sniffed it.

Of course he likes pumpkin spice lattes, Demyx thought bitterly. Ugh.

He went back to bed and fell asleep listening to music.

__________

      The universe thought it was just so funny. Demyx had taken Zexion’s advice and the tutor he’d met with was his jerk of a roommate. At least Ienzo was unhappy too, if the scowl on his insufferably nerdy face was anything to go by.

“What are you doing here?” Demyx blurted before he could stop himself.

“I work here,” his jerk of a roommate answered in response, “as a tutor, for my work study. I take it your procrastinating finally caught up to you and you need some last-minute help?” Did he really have to be so damn condescending though?

Demyx hiked his backpack strap a bit higher on his shoulder and rapped his fingers on the tutoring center's reception desk. Ienzo could glare daggers at him all he wanted from his seat at the computer behind the desk, but the curious eyes of the other tutors and students around meant that he would have to maintain decorum. They both would, lest Ienzo lose his job and Demyx lose his tutoring privileges. He took a deep breath. "I need help with a biology paper."

Ienzo's expression tightened. "Would you like to make an appointment?"

"No? You said it yourself: this is last-minute." Demyx tapped on the desk. "I need to talk to the science tutor on duty, please."

"It seems like we're both out of luck tonight, then," Ienzo replied dryly, absently clicking at something on the computer monitor. "I'm the science tutor on duty at the moment."

"You? Gross." 

"I'm not particularly happy about it right now, either."

Demyx considered his options, and cringed at his conclusions. His paper was due in two days, and it was only half-drafted. Without a passing grade on the assignment, he would set himself up to fail the class. Petty squabbles were not worth the hit to his GPA. He sighed. "Well, can you help? I'm kind of desperate, here."

Ienzo returned the sigh. "Fine. Follow me."

Demyx followed Ienzo around the reception desk to a square table in the far corner, a plastic chair on each side. Ienzo alighted onto the seat closest to the wall. "This better not be a waste of time."

Demyx pulled his laptop out of his backpack before sitting down across from Ienzo. "Has anyone ever told you that you have excellent people skills? Because if they did, they lied to you."

Ienzo rolled his eyes. Yep , Demyx thought, amazing people skills. They were off to a great start. Getting through this paper was going to be agony. "I'm paid to tutor, not practice social niceties."

The laptop screen lit up as Demyx swiped one finger over the trackpad. A screenshot from one of his more memorable raids in Verum Rex guarded the rest of his files behind his login password. Demyx typed his password as quickly as he could, shooing the image of his and Zexion's avatars away before Ienzo could ask any unwanted questions. Evidently, he did not type fast enough. 

“Verum Rex? You're familiar with it?” 

Demyx nearly jumped, shoulders tensing. He knew Ienzo was there; that shouldn’t have startled him as badly as it had.

“Duh? It's only the best MMO on the market right now. Not that you would know, since you're so committed to the whole 'smug asshole' thing,” He snarked on reflex, feeling slightly guilty about it afterwards. Ienzo was being friendly for once, or was at least making something of an attempt at it. Yikes. Demyx wasn't usually one to make low blows like that. He opened the Biology folder on his computer and selected the draft of his paper, making an effort to get along with Ienzo while they were forced to sit together. "Please help me with this? If you would be so kind, please?" Demyx made praying-hands in Ienzo's direction in apology.

Eyebrow rising - was it just one, or both? - Ienzo shot him a look, obviously unamused in the slightest. “If you’re trying to be cute, it’s not going to work.”

Demyx pouted and opened up his biology paper, turning the laptop toward Ienzo. “Fine, fine, just help me?”

Rolling his eyes yet again, Ienzo was just about to lean in to read what Demyx had so far, when the familiar sound of a Discord ping had Demyx scrambling to turn the laptop back toward himself. Shit. He’d forgotten to close his Discord window before showing up at the tutoring center.

While Demyx closed the Discord app, Ienzo watched him carefully, contemplative. “You use Discord?”

Turning the laptop back, Demyx gave him a look, half in disbelief because surely Ienzo was too much of a nerd, but not in the cool way, to know what Discord was, and yet he did. Shit, it would be really awkward to end up in a server together. “Yeah, who doesn’t use Discord these days? I mean, especially if you play games or are into, I dunno, any fan community stuff.”

For a moment, Ienzo said nothing, slowly turning to look at Demyx’s biology paper on the screen. “Alright, let’s see what we have to work with so far, if anything.”

Demyx sighed. Asshole.

__________

      Was this some kind of joke? Ienzo was being pranked, wasn’t he? Any moment now Demyx would start laughing about wasting his time and walk out, like the lazy slacker he was. Halfway through, he half collapsed on the table.

“This is impossible,” Demyx whined. “You don’t really understand this stuff, do you? You’ve gotta be lying.”

Ienzo felt his eye twitch. “Not all of us are lazy fools who give up after 15 minutes. Why are you even here?”

“Because my friend said I should, and I trust his advice. He never leads me wrong, so even if I have to spend time with you , I’m gonna do this.” 

"Your friend sounds like he has the sense that you very much lack," Ienzo deadpanned, scrolling through Demyx's paper. He took stock of the misformatted section headings, missing in-text citations, and the off-center data table in the middle of the mess. The topic of the paper did not appear in any of Demyx's written work. "Can you tell me what this assignment is supposed to be? I can't tell from what you've given me."

"It's…" Demyx shrank back in his seat. "I don't know what it's supposed to be. My professor gave us all a table of data-results-things and told us to organize and analyze them. I don't know what he wants, exactly."

Ienzo huffed, and almost slammed Demyx's computer closed on the spot. Thankfully, his better faculties kept him from breaking Demyx's laptop. "There's your problem. You can't complete an assignment if you don't know what the assignment is . Email your professor for clarification and request an extension. If you do it early enough, they might grant you leniency."

"Really? That's your advice? Beg my way out of it?"

"Not begging. Requesting. It shows forethought, self-awareness, and emotional maturity, even if you don't actually possess any of those things. The adage of faking proficiency to gain proficiency has some truth to it." Ienzo pushed the laptop over to Demyx. "Is there anything else I can help with?"

Demyx's arms crossed, and his expression took on the quality of a betrayed toddler. "You didn't even help me with what I came in for, asshole."

Ienzo waved away Demyx's indignation with a dismissive hand. "There's only so much I, or any tutor, can do without having a good idea of what your professor expects. Emailing is the best advice I can give right now."

"So if I email my professor, you’ll help me?” 

“I give you my word.” A promise made in haste, if only to appease the barest responsibilities of his job. Hopefully Demyx wouldn’t make him live to regret it.

Not long after Demyx was gone, Ienzo checked his Discord app, surreptitiously on his phone behind the reception desk, to find a message from Arpeggio.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Zexy, this worst thing ever just happened!

My roommate is my tutor!

Save meeeeeee

The Cloaked Schemer: That is peculiar. Though colleges are small worlds, so I hear.

What did he have to say re: the paper?

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Ugh he couldn’t even help

Because I had licherally no idea what the professor wants

I mean, the dude has an F on ratemyprofessor so

He said to email and beg for clarity and an extension

The Cloaked Schemer: ...That is sound advice, actually.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Youre taking his side???

The Cloaked Schemer: Not exactly.

But in academic situations, it always looks good on you to take the initiative and seek help when you need it.

I guarantee the professor will work with you, and perhaps be able to refine that same assignment in the future.

If he’s worth his salt, he’s seeking to improve himself the way you are.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: I GUESS

You wanna do a raid tonite? 

The Cloaked Schemer: Alas, I, too, am a college student with coursework.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: RUDE

Ienzo leaned back in his chair in the campus library. How coincidental, he thought. He’d just given Demyx the same advice. Then again, college papers--especially in the sciences--were not always diverse on the gen ed level. He recalled Demyx’s paper; he should’ve asked him to see the email, or post, or handout with the assignment on it. Chances are the moron had merely misunderstood.

Demyx liked Verum Rex. Perhaps they could have this to talk about. Ienzo wondered who he mained. Probably Yozora, he thought with a sneer. 

The Cloaked Schemer: Actually, I can do one raid.

ONE. Brief. Raid.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Thats more like it! \o/

One raid turned into two, then Ienzo ended up staying in the library, at the tutoring center, until it closed.

__________

      Demyx begrudgingly took Ienzo’s advice. After his marathon raid session with Zexion, he sent a brief email--agonizing over the wording--to his professor, who responded almost instantly with an apology. Several students had already asked him about the assignment, it turned out, so he was going to extend the entire class’s deadline. But if Demyx needed a few days after that, he could have it.

“You were right,” Demyx murmured out loud, as he read the email the next morning. 

“Of course I was,” Ienzo said, not looking up from his desk. “See? All it takes is a little maturity.”

The irony. Demyx grimaced. He looked over at him. “So you’ll help me?”

“When--and only when--I am on duty,” he said. “I have a life outside of work, you know.”

Demyx wondered how true that was. Ienzo spent a lot of the time in the room if he were not in class or in the library. Did he have friends? Did he go to societies? He nearly asked. Then he looked at him, really looked at him, for the first time in weeks. He had bags under his eyes, and was washed out, books spread in a circle around him. “Outside of studying, too?”

Ienzo opened his mouth, then shut it. “I am not here to socialize. I am here for a degree.”

“But don’t you… have any friends?”

“Of course I do,” Ienzo said, just a little too quickly. 

Like he would honestly tell Demyx. “Sure,” he said, shutting his laptop and tucking it into his bag. “Well. I got class. I’ll see you at the center later?”

“Much to my chagrin,” Ienzo responded evenly.

Demyx’s day was ordinary other than that. After the professor clarified what he wanted in class (and, to Demyx’s immense relief, it was much less daunting than what he’d thought), he stopped by the library to check out some books which might point him in a vague direction. Ienzo could tell him if they were any good. He stopped by the coffee shop to grab a croissant and a coffee, and, on impulse, got one for Ienzo as well. The idea of it made him nervous. Maybe I’ll say they made an extra by mistake, he thought. He already knew Ienzo drank them.

There Ienzo was, sitting in the office. “It’s you,” he said in an unreadable tone.

“It’s me.” He cleared his throat. “Um…” He thrust out the coffee without saying anything else.

“Is this for me?”

“Uh, yeah.” He felt his face heat--though why? 

Ienzo took it, looking confused, and sniffed the small hole in the lid. “Oh,” he said softly.

“I wasn’t sure if you liked--”

“No. I do. That was kind of you.” He blinked, his expression odd, slackened; Demyx realized it was without malice. “Let’s get to work, shall we? I don’t want this to take any longer than it has to.”

Ienzo helped him structure the paper, and reviewed proper citations with him. It would take a little work, but seeing it outlined, Demyx felt a lot less overwhelmed. Something he thought was a mammoth project would maybe take an hour or two to write.

“Once you have it written, come back and I can help you with grammar and syntax,” Ienzo said.

“Awesome.” He took a deep breath. “I feel… a lot better now.”

“One typically does when one stops procrastinating,” Ienzo said. He leaned back in his seat. For a second--but just one--he sounded like Zexion, all firm and proper, genteel without being rigid.

__________

      "You got your grade back already?"

Demyx beamed as he held his laptop screen-out, his browser logged into the university's online grading system. One score was listed under BIO 101, labelled "Paper 1." The percentage displayed next to the assignment name was higher than Ienzo expected from Demyx. "I didn't completely fail!" he practically cheered.

"So you didn't," Ienzo agreed, nodding slightly at the number from his desk. "It's amazing what a bit of work will do."

Demyx dropped himself onto his bed and turned his laptop. He bounced on the mattress a few times while he looked at the number. "This is the best news I've gotten all semester and it's the best feeling. Is this what it's like to be a genius and get good grades all the time?"

Ienzo returned his attention to his own laptop, where a half-drafted essay mocked him with its blinking text cursor and nonsensical thesis statement. He clacked another line of bullshit into the document. It was for English class, he reminded himself. Any answer was correct if it could be argued well. "No, not really. You get used to it."

"I… I should thank you," Demyx said, after a beat of silence. "For your help. I wouldn't have had anything to turn in at all if you hadn't told me to email my professor."

Another line of bullshit trailed across the screen. Ienzo squinted at it, unsure of what he had typed. "Don't mention it. It's my job."

"But still. Thank you."

"You're welcome."

Ienzo could hear Demyx shuffling on his bed. "So… you play Verum Rex?"

"Fairly regularly, yes."

"Do you do raids or multiplayer at all?"

Ienzo shot Demyx a warning glance. "I already have a raiding group. I'm not looking for another one."

Across the room, Demyx had tucked himself into bed, his Star Wars sheets pulled all the way up to his chin. He blinked at Ienzo unceremoniously. "Jeez, forget I asked. No need to be snippy about it."

Demyx's head disappeared under the covers, and Ienzo returned his attention to his essay. At least, he tried. The Discord notifications in the corner of his screen kept distracting him.

Eventually, Ienzo admitted defeat and opened Discord. All of the messages were from Arpeggio.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: hey, do we have an opening on our raiding party?

Zexion?

Oh nvm he said no

What are you up to?

I'm taking a victory nap after getting a good grade on that paper I had to 

write a while back

My roommate is typing something and he's so loud

What is he writing that makes him so angy

The Cloaked Schemer: I am also typing angrily at something

It is a universal collegiate experience

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: still so angy tho

Are you angy atm?

The Cloaked Schemer: I am… frustrated

I'm meant to be dissecting the themes in a short story but I feel like I'm only spewing garbage on the page

Perhaps if I present the garbage with enough conviction, I will be able to maneuver through this class

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: if youre writing it, it's definitely not garbage :P

you need to have more confidence in yourself, Zexy

The Cloaked Schemer: Ha. I think my roommate would disagree

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: well then he's a bum

Tell him that

Arpeggio says so

Ienzo looked back at Demyx, cocooned in spaceship bed sheets and doing who-knows-what under the cover of bed linens. He thought he saw the flash of a phone screen through the fabric, but the light disappeared as quickly as he caught it.

The Cloaked Schemer: I'll pass. He seems busy.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Busy doing what? Bum things?

The Cloaked Schemer: I certainly hope not. We're in the same room right now.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: oh. Awkward

The Cloaked Schemer: I’ll say.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: so you know ive been thinking

The Cloaked Schemer: Have you? What a concept.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: ha ha.

Its been a while since we tried voice chatting

Maybe we could try again?

The Cloaked Schemer: You would want that?

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: I want to hear your voice. To see if youre actually as smart as you write

Maybe youve got, like, a transatlantic accent, or something. Thatd be cool

Ienzo blinked, staring hard at the screen. His heart beat a little faster. It was so hard to determine tone through text. 

The Cloaked Schemer: Maybe I’m not as cool as I seem.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: highly, HIGHLY doubt it

Youve kept me sane

I really appreciate our

Ienzo saw him type “thing” and then frenetically edit to “friendship.” He swallowed, his mouth suddenly dry.

The Cloaked Schemer: The feeling is mutual.

A long, long pause. Ienzo did not know what else to say. His face was burning.

The Cloaked Schemer: Normally I’d rather be caught dead than admit this.

But it does get somewhat lonely here.

It’s nice to have someone to talk to.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: I know what u mean

Sometimes i feel like i dont really know who i am

And like college is supposed to be about finding that

But its hard.

The Cloaked Schemer: You don’t have to tell me twice.

Part of why it’s so easy to exist in online spaces, in games. Appearance doesn’t matter. It’s like being a more concentrated version of oneself.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Do u feel like a more concentrated version of yourself?

The Cloaked Schemer: When I talk to you.

Ienzo’s heart was pounding. He thought he heard Demyx sigh across the room. Was he typing too hard?

Arpeggio started and stopped typing several times, just making Ienzo more nervous. What is he going to say? Did I push it too hard? Was I too forward?

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Me too, Zexion

I wish we knew each other. Like, irl

Getting to do raids in person

That would be so fun

And i dunno, maybe do other things

Go out to eat. Go to the movies. Maybe go dancing.

Do u like clubs?

The Cloaked Schemer: I’ve never been.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: it takes some getting used to

But the energy of a crowd is electric

Especially with people you know

Oh god oh god oh god , Ienzo thought. His hands were trembling. 

The Cloaked Schemer: Where would we go to eat?

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: anywhere you want

Well. on a college students budget anyway

-laughs in poor

The Cloaked Schemer: Ah, so, five star cuisine, then.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Just dont order the lobster

In all seriousness. We need to vc sometime

The Cloaked Schemer: Yes.

There’s going to be a raid event on Saturday. Perhaps then?

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Depends on if i have the room :/ 

Wanna say yes so bad

The Cloaked Schemer: I know the feeling.

I suppose if I get desperate enough I can rent out a study cubicle in the library.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Awww you’d do that for little ol’ me?

The Cloaked Schemer: Yes, I

His finger slipped, hitting the enter key a moment too soon before he could even finish the thought in his head. His hands felt almost clammy, the inner mechanizations of his mind working on overdrive, as if trying to race against the pitter-patter beat of his heart. Shit. Perhaps… Riku was right after all? Had Ienzo, usually so level-headed, actually developed a crush on Arpeggio? It was utterly nonsensical, and yet he couldn’t deny that he felt a comfort with Arpeggio that he didn’t feel with anyone else he knew, online or offline. Was it possible to fall- ...to develop a smattering of feelings for someone based on typed text alone?

Well, wasn’t that a theme in literature? Two people falling in love over written letters? For all Ienzo knew, there could very well have been instances of it happening in real life, in the days of old, long, long before the age of technology and the internet. A pair of penpals, miles and miles of distance between them, communicating through the written word; it could happen, couldn’t it?

Hold on. When the hell did he turn into a sap ? Frowning, Ienzo ran a hand over his face, feeling like a lovestruck fool.

No. No, this couldn’t be a crush. Just because it was so easy to talk to him, just because they’d been talking for a year or so by now, it didn’t mean-

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Zexy?

You ok?

Shit, how long had he zoned out for? 

The Cloaked Schemer: Sorry. Got distracted.

But regardless, I think we should aim for Saturday.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Great!

Hoping we don’t get interrupted by our dick roomies

The Cloaked Schemer: Quite. It’s a date, then.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Yes :3

Ienzo took a deep breath. Regardless as to whether or not this was practical, it seemed that Arpeggio reciprocated his flirting.

Wait. Ienzo looked at the screen, cheeks heating up as he realized he’d typed the word ‘date,’ and Arpeggio said ‘yes .’ He couldn’t deny the little flutter of his stomach in that moment.

__________

      Demyx set his phone aside, his heart beating heavily in his chest, his face bright red. He swallowed. There was no way sleep would come easily now, and it probably wouldn’t be until Saturday.

He thought about the nature of crushes. He’d never seen Zexy’s face, or heard his voice, but he was so adept at weaving words in the way Demyx wanted to be with music. He tried to imagine him, what he might be like.

He rolled onto his back. Ienzo’s frenetic, noisy typing had stopped. Demyx sat up, rubbed his eyes, and pretended he’d been napping the whole time. “You good?”

Ienzo shut his computer quickly, like he’d been doing something questionable. “Yes. Fine.” He was a little out of breath. What the hell had he been writing?

Demyx blinked. “I’m gonna go get a coffee,” he said instead. “Want me to bring you one back?”

“Sure,” Ienzo said, his face flushed.

Demyx shook his head. Well. If Ienzo needed to take care of that he had at least a few minutes now. “Cool.”

The whole time he was at the coffee shop, he kept thinking about Zexion, all their little conversations. It was evolving, and evolving fast. Demyx knew from brief experimentation with dating apps that just because a person sent you some flirty words didn’t mean anything would come of it. For all he knew, Zexion lived in New Zealand, or something.

That didn’t stop him from wanting it.

He drew a deep breath, exhaled. Well. Saturday he would find out.

Demyx wasn’t going to let Ienzo ruin his chances of meeting Zexion. He decided to strike preemptively, pausing at the door of their dorm room and sucking in a breath, steeling himself. He could do this. He could ask his roommate for the room for one night, and he wouldn’t take no for an answer. “Hey, so, I have a thing Saturday,” he said vaguely. Okay, so maybe he wasn’t coming off as strongly as he intended, but he could still try. “Mind if I hang here alone for a few hours?”

Ienzo glanced up. The flush was gone, and he seemed much more composed. “Yes, that’s fine. I was going to go study anyway.”

“Study? Don’t you ever have any fun?”

“Perhaps I find studying fun,” Ienzo said.

“Suit yourself.” As he passed on his way back to the bed, he saw out of the corner of his eye that Ienzo had Discord open.

__________

     Friday night, Demyx barely slept. He wasn’t sure why he was so nervous. Crushes didn’t usually… hit him this hard. It’s dumb. It’s so dumb. His loneliness was getting to him. Even Saturday morning, there were some hours until the events started. He looked at his DM history with Zexion. They’d spoken briefly, only to confirm a time and place for their characters to meet and chat. He sat at his desk, his hands trembling, as the game booted up.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: You ready?

The Cloaked Schemer: Of course.

M3l0d10us N0cturn3: Cool.

My mic isnt like great

But you can still hear me

He was shaking. He was shaking. “Get it together,” he muttered to himself.

The Cloaked Schemer: You’re a broke college student. I’m not expecting a professional setup here.

Though I will say my booth is pleasantly soundproofed.

Let me connect.

And Demyx thought his heart might stop. I’m so gay, he thought. A second later he heard that familiar call connection. He twitched a little, and his mic clattered loudly on the floor. Shit!

“Arpeggio? Are you alright?”

“I just dropped the--”

A long, long pause.

He knew that voice.

“Zexion?” He picked up the mic and set it down.

“Arpeggio?”

“I dropped the mic.” Demyx swallowed.

“You…” Zexion fumbled for words. “Speak a little more, please.”

“Is that really you?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re in a library right now.”

“And you had an event… Saturday.” 

“Ohh my god,” Demyx mumbled. He wasn’t sure what he was feeling, just that he was feeling a lot of it. “Ienzo. You’re Zexion?”

“It’s an anagram,” he said, his tone numb.

“Seriously, this whole time--”

“Evidently.”

He didn’t know whether to laugh or cry, but at the same time, there was something warm in his chest.

Wait, no. No. This was Ienzo, and they hated each other--

Demyx realized he was panicking. He also, vaguely, in the back of his mind, realized the call had disconnected.

Demyx spent the next few minutes desperately trying to control his breathing, trying to not focus on how Zexion- No, Ienzo- was so disgusted it was him that he’d immediately dropped the call.

Of course. Of fucking course. The universe hated him. The universe had it out for him, surely. Why else would this have happened? He finally meets this sweet, smart, wonderful guy who takes him seriously and actually likes talking to him, on a regular basis , and then… And then… It turns out to be the very same roommate who hates him. That would just be his damned luck, wouldn’t it?

Grabbing his pillow, Demyx face-planted into it, pressing it furiously against his eyes to stop them from burning, to stop the tears that threatened to spill. Of all the people it could’ve been. Why Ienzo ? 

Demyx had been nervous enough as it was, afraid the person on the other end would think him annoying - his voice, his tone, the way he just couldn’t fucking shut up sometimes when he got excited about something. Alternatively, the filter between his brain and his mouth was immensely weaker than the filter between his brain and his fingers, and he could’ve said the wrong thing, unable to stop himself in the same way his hand can catch itself on the enter key before hitting it, or quickly delete the message before Zexion could read it.

But this was so much worse, because Ienzo already knew him, already had an impression of him, and that impression was far from good. It’s no wonder he disconnected the call so suddenly. He likely couldn’t stand hearing the truth any longer, stomach churning with disgust, head filled to bursting with regret, and not just regret over the voice call, but everything .

An almost entire year’s worth of conversations, soiled now, because Demyx was, well, Demyx . A slob. A slacker. An idiot. He wasn’t worth Ienzo’s time, and now he knew he wasn’t worth Zexion’s.

A sharp ache spread over his chest, cold and numbing, all of him tense with it. He… liked Zexion. He very genuinely liked him, so excited to get to talk to him, his bristling nerves aside. All week he’d thought about it, daydreaming, wondering what the person on the other end would sound like, if he’d love that voice as much as he loved the text on his Discord screen.

It no longer mattered, not when it was now clear that Zexion - no, Ienzo , was utterly disgusted with him.

It was over. It was all over - their friendship, a year’s worth of personal conversations, these budding feelings he was beginning to have, or that he’s been having for a while now…

On the flipside, was Demyx disappointed that it turned out to be Ienzo? He… didn’t know the answer to that, still reeling in the fact that Zexion, his dear friend and crush, hated him. The pillow was starting to suffocate him and he instinctively pulled it away from his face, eyes still burning. He sucked in some deep breaths and just when he was finally on the cusp of calming down, his door swung open so fast Demyx feared it’d break off the hinges. 

Ienzo leveled him with a determined stare. “You.”

__________

      Ienzo sat.

And sat.

And stared, and sat some more.

He was dizzy. Slowly, so slowly, all the pieces clicked together. The coffee. The references to Verum Rex. How they were always just missing each other. The whole tutoring scenario. Good god . So this person he’d been harboring feelings for this whole time was--

He pressed a hand to his forehead. And yet, a small part of him… was relieved?

It could be…

No, it couldn’t be anything! They hated each other! They’d complained to each other about each other more times than Ienzo could count. They had--

Ienzo felt the walls of the study booth begin to close in around him, pushing the breathable air out of the room. His ribcage constricted around his lungs, and his heartbeat pounded at his temples. He gathered his laptop and microphone in his arms and burst out of the room, chest heaving.

He braced himself against the outer wall of the study booth and willed himself to breathe normally, his head tilted all the way back to rest on the door. This was real life, and he was fine. He would be fine, anyway, with a bit of finessing. Okay, perhaps a little more than a bit.

Ienzo retrieved his backpack and stowed his equipment inside as he analyzed the situation. Arpeggio and Demyx were the same person. A strange revelation, but not world-ending. He could find another raiding party. He could join another server. There was more than one person with whom to play Verum Rex.

But--

Ienzo caught himself zipping and unzipping the top pocket of his backpack, more forcefully than necessary each time. A new server didn't sound appealing. A new raiding party, even less so. He would have to chat with new people, learn their idiosyncrasies and fighting styles, learn their pseudonyms and remember how they differed from their usernames. It all sounded so… hard, and boring, and unnecessary. 

He zipped his backpack closed for the last time and held it at his side by its tiny top handle. Its back straps kicked at his calves as he raced out of the study area, through the main lobby, and into the courtyard. His mind was set. His choice was clear. The only thing to do was follow through.

Ienzo made a beeline back to the room. He found Demyx sitting cross-legged on his own bed, his computer accessorized with a small budget microphone and his face awash with something that looked like guilt. His eyes widened when Ienzo crossed the threshold. 

"You." Ienzo's statement rang out like a gong.

Demyx swallowed. "Yeah?"

"We need to talk." Ienzo shut the door behind himself. It slammed closed, though Ienzo had not intended for that. 

"...yeah." Demyx turned back to his computer, fiddling at the USB port where his microphone connected to the rest of the machine. "Ienzo, I--"

"Shut up." Ienzo stalked into the room, single-minded. He stopped at the edge of Demyx's bed. "Shut up and listen, for once."

Demyx's shoulders rose to his ears. He stayed quiet.

Ienzo dropped his backpack to the floor. Though his fingers trembled, his resolve held firm. The moment of reckoning was upon him. "Did you know?"

Demyx shook his head.

"Did you want to know?"

He responded in a whisper, pained and hushed. "I wanted to meet Zexion."

Ienzo's hands trembled faster. He balled them into fists to compensate. "And now that you know," he said, "do you regret it? Wanting to know? Learning the truth?"

A tear trailed down Demyx's downcast cheek. "No."

Something deep inside Ienzo wanted to reach out and wipe away the tears that followed, while Demyx's breath caught in gasps over his laptop keyboard. Ienzo steeled himself. "I… don't regret it, either."

"You don't?" Demyx looked up and met Ienzo's gaze with caution. Aside from the red tinge at their edges, his eyes looked almost hopeful. 

Ienzo softened, relaxed his fists. "I don't want to find a new server, or a new raiding party."

Sniffling, Demyx nodded. "I don't, either."

"I don't want to stop talking to Arpeggio," Ienzo continued, his heart playing timpanis in his chest. "He is a close friend of mine."

"He's also your lazy roommate." Another tear escaped, this time going down the side of Demyx's nose. Demyx wiped at it with the heel of his hand. "Ienzo, I--"

"We've had differences. We've also had commonalities, albeit in virtual space. There's no reason we cannot bring the two together."

"Ienzo--"

"There's no reason we should be at each other's throats. We--"

"Ienzo!" 

He blinked. The drum performance in his chest missed a beat, then started from the top at full speed. "Yes?"

Demyx unplugged the microphone from his computer, sighed, and tossed it to the far edge of his bed. "I don't think that will work."

Ienzo frowned and crossed his arms. He was beginning to remember why he and Demyx didn't get along in meatspace. "Why, pray tell, is that?" he asked.

Demyx swallowed again, more conspicuously than before. "It's just… I…"

Ienzo leaned forward, his head cocked to the side. "You what?"

"I, um, I…"

"Go on. I don't have all night."

Demyx pushed his computer aside and drew his knees into his chest. "I… shit. I had a thing for Zexion." His shoulders hitched with sardonic laughter. "Shit. Fuck. This sucks." He reached behind himself for his pillow and buried his face in it. "This is so embarrassing," he whined, his voice muffled.

Ienzo's budding anger deflated. "You… you did?"

Demyx nodded into his pillow. "Uh-huh. And now you know, too."

Ienzo opened his mouth to respond, but couldn't make the words in his head form coherent phrases. His throat sputtered with half-formed consonants instead. Words. For fuck’s sake, wasn’t he good at words? Why was this suddenly so damn hard?

"This is the worst," Demyx groaned. "Just kill me now. Make it look like an accident. Tell my family I loved them. Don't let my sister take my bedroom at home."

Ienzo's faculties returned in the bumbling, clumsy way that drunkards stumbled home from dank local pubs. "I... don't think that will be necessary," Ienzo managed, through his own confusion.

"No?" Demyx put his pillow back in its place, and faced Ienzo with dried saline clumping in his eyelashes. "What, are you gonna torture me instead? Make me regret being born? Because you're a little late on that front, buddy, I already do."

Ienzo took a deep breath. His crossed arms dropped to his side, then held each other at the elbows. "I may have developed… similar feelings. For Arpeggio." Ienzo's mouth went dry. The drum performance upgraded itself to a full marching band drumline, twenty-five snare drums pounding paradiddles and rolls in synchronized sweeps. 

A silence consumed the space between them, interrupted only by Demyx's sniffling and Ienzo's heartbeat. It stretched into the abyss and the stratosphere in equal measure, and stung more acutely than the idea of never speaking to Arpeggio again.

Demyx broke the silence by clearing his throat. "So…"

Ienzo coughed. "So..."

"Are we…" Demyx unfolded his legs and swung them over the side of his bed. His hands grasped at his mattress, and his head hung from his shoulders  "Are we, y'know… do we still, like…"

"Do you want to be?" Ienzo shifted his weight from one foot to the other. "Friends, cohorts, party members, server mutuals? Or…"

"Or what?" 

"Or…" Ienzo trailed off. Or what, indeed? Friends with benefits? Significant others? Boyfriends? The mere thought made Ienzo's palms sweat. "Or…"

In the moment between Ienzo's efforts to name his emotions and act on them, Demyx had sprung up from the bed and slipped his hands around the sides of Ienzo's face, his thumbs resting just below the apples of Ienzo's cheeks. His breath tickled at Ienzo's nose and lips. "Or… this?"

Heat seared at every inch of Ienzo's face. If he could feel Demyx's breath, Demyx could feel his as well. "...I suppose, yes."

"In that case," Demyx murmured, somehow purring and wavering at the same time, "tell me no." He rested his forehead on Ienzo's. "Tell me no, and we won't. I promise. Things can go back to normal."

A whimper, wholly undignified and unbidden, escaped from Ienzo's higher register. "I can't," he whispered.

Demyx leaned forward, and Ienzo followed. At some point, they met in the middle, and the world's axis shifted two degrees to the left. It was a tentative press of lips, but Demyx’s hands on his face kept him anchored. It didn’t feel like Ienzo thought it would, and self-consciousness invaded. Suddenly Ienzo felt very young and immature; vulnerable .

But… after a moment or so, not so much. Demyx was so warm against him, and Ienzo realized it was a learning curve, one he was picking up with his usual speed. He was shaking a little in disbelief. It was so-- nice.

Demyx pulled away and brushed his fingers across his cheek. "You're trembling."

"Forgive me. I--" He swallowed.

"No, it's cool." Demyx pulled away and smiled, brighter than Ienzo had ever seen someone smile before. "Do you… want to go again?"

Ienzo did, very much so. "I'm not opposed, per se, but I think we should… explore our relationship a bit. Perhaps starting with our mutual interest in pumpkin spice flavors." 

“Sounds like a plan to me, Zexy,” Demyx grinned.

__________

      Riku set the pair of pumpkin spice lattes down on the little square table in the back corner of the coffeeshop, glancing at Ienzo, then Demyx, then back at Ienzo, one eyebrow shooting up into his hair. “Is the world ending? Did I miss a memo on the corkboard in the back room?”

Ienzo coughed. He was vaguely aware of the heat rising in his cheeks. Damn it all to hell. Of course Riku was here, why would it have been anyone else? Sighing, he gestured to Demyx, bracing himself for the inevitable bit of humiliation, courtesy of the one friend who knew about his very apparent crush on his Discord friend. “Riku, meet Arpeggio.”

Riku’s other eyebrow shot up into his hair. “You’re shitting me.”

Demyx looked across the table at Zexion, clearly trying to fight the incoming of a shit-eating grin. “You talked about me to people?”

"Only the unimportant ones," Ienzo said, picking up his cup and sipping loudly.

“Psh,” Riku spat with a roll of his eyes. “Yeah, and every damn minute of the day. If I had a dollar for every time you made heart eyes at the ceiling while talking about him, I could quit this job and pay off my tuition.”

Ienzo balked at that, nearly choking on his latte. “It was not that often.”

Waving a hand, Riku corrected himself, looking pointedly at Demyx. “Wait, no, he’s right. I’m forgetting that half the time, he’d be complaining about his horrible room-”

“Shouldn’t you be behind the counter?” Ienzo hissed, glaring at Riku. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Demyx’s gaze flicking between him, like he was watching a game of ping-pong. “Or should I text Sora and Kairi about all those little hearts you like to draw around their names on the garbage receipts every time they come in?”

"Go ahead. I'm ninety percent sure they're both into me, anyway."

Ienzo pulled his phone from his pocket and brandished it at Riku. "Are you willing to test that theory?"

"Make sure you write it down," Demyx chirped, blowing into the hole in his drink's lid. "If you write it down, it's science. I learned that in Biology this semester."

"I'll do more than that," Ienzo said, tapping on his phone screen with both hands. After his phone played a short 'whoosh' sound, he placed it face-down on the table. "Images sent. Now we wait for our results."

Riku scoffed, then balked, then turned beet-red. "You're an asshole," he hissed through his teeth.

"Relax. I was just kidding,” Ienzo said with a glint in his eye that Demyx barely caught.

"Forgive me if I’m a bit skeptical." Riku scowled for a moment, but eventually softened into a smirk. "Whatever. Enjoy your Discord date, Casanova." He knocked on the table once before returning to the checkout counter.

"Discord date?" Demyx asked, taking a swig of his pumpkin spice latte. "I thought we were hanging out in real life."

"Let's not split hairs. We're about to see a show." Ienzo jutted his chin in the direction of the cafe's front door. As if on cue, Sora and Kairi burst through it like a duo on a mission.

“Oh Riiiiiiiiku!” they chorused in sing-song at the top of their lungs.

"Sometimes," Ienzo said, turning back to Demyx, "I like to watch the world burn."

“Yeah, I know. That’s actually kind of hot,” Demyx admitted, taking another sip of his latte. "Remind me not to piss you off again, though."

[mitchmarnier]

I have read some of your reddie now and I have this idea in my head. Ritchie and Eddie are like 13 and Ritchie tells Eddie he's in love with him but Eddie doesn't feel the same way. When Eddie tells Ritchie he doesn't feel the same way Ritchie leaves imideatly bc he feels embarrassed. The rest of the losers know Ritchie felt that way about Eddie and that ritche was gonna confess and are waiting for ritchoe to come tell them what happend. When he does come he's heart broken

(2) And the rest of the losers decide to comfort him but in the meantime forget that Eddie is super worried about ritchie. Eddie tries to text bill (or any) and he just gets like short awnseres back and the rest of the losers are too busy with Ritchie (not his fault) to think about the fact that Eddie is hurting and has basically been abandoned by his friends, but he is on the track team and has some friends there. | (3). Cue like 2/3 years later and Eddie and the rest of the losers club run into each other at a pary. They feel super bad about handling the Ritchie/eddie thing and Ritchie has missed his bff for so long, Eddie get why Ritchie didn’t wanna talk but feel betrayed by the rest of them for not caring about him and making him feel like he is expendable. Idk man id love to chat with you about reddie and hc and stuff

Anon, I love this. I kind of feel like in the case of a serious fight/falling out, the Losers wouldn’t be like everyone vs one, you know? They’d probably split down the middle, more or less. Like, maybe all the Losers knew that Richie liked Eddie but he only ever told Stan and Bev, you know? So only they know that Richie is going to tell Eddie, only they can figure out what’s wrong with Richie, why he doesn’t show up. Because Eddie feels so bad- he hadn’t meant to hurt Richie, he’s just not gay, you know? He’s not, his mother would never allow that- so he’s not going to tell anybody what happened. 

Stan and Bev slowly start spending their time with Richie, because you know… as much as Richie likes Eddie- and not just likes him likes him, he really adores Eddie just as Eddie! His cute little buddy!- but it hurts too bad to be around him right then. And Bill sort of thinks they’re being dicks, because nobody is talking about what happened- Stan, Richie and Bev are just starting to bail on group activities, and they’re not sitting with them in the cafeteria anymore. The other Losers only know it has something to do with Eddie because is so upset. 

Eddie sort of decides- you know, that it’s not fair that Richie felt like he had to leave their friend group. Because Eddie’s the one who feels like the one who was a dick. Especially when he starts noticing how his heart skips when he catches Richie’s eye in the hallways now- not just in an anxious way, no. In a much scarier way. In a I gave Richie the wrong answer way. So Eddie decides, yeah, if I leave the Losers Club then everybody else can hang out together again like it should be. So Eddie starts hanging out with the Track and Field team more. 

And Bill just hates this… he asks Mike- who does sports, too. A lot of sports, that he only started doing because Stan encouraged him to try out for baseball, but that’s none of my business- asks Mike to please, please check on Eddie. Bring him back. So Mike does, but maybe… maybe Mike really likes hanging out with the other sports kids. He’d never felt popular before. Yeah, the Losers had been the first people who ever made him feel like he even belonged in Derry. But before nobody had been high-fiving him in the hallways and shouting “Hanlon’s the man!” 

So then Eddie and Mike are both spending their with the Jocks and Cheerleaders. In the caf, outside of school, at parties. Ben is still optimistic, you know? “Everything will sort itself out, Eddie and Richie can’t fight forever.” But you can’t fight with somebody you don’t talk to. Bill and Ben both try to bounce back and forth between the two groups, but eventually Ben introduces Bill to the writer’s society and they had their own friends now, too. Not really a Losers club when you didn’t feel like Losers anymore. 

Richie, Bev and Stan were ready to continuing claiming the titles of Losers. They continue to be only the three of them, through everything. Richie convinces himself that he’s over Eddie, that none of it really mattered at all. The Losers Club was never meant to last right? Eddie and Mike would always have become hot sports gods, Ben always would have lost the weight, Bill always would’ve gotten control of his stutter, and they always would’ve become popular. Or, at least, socially acceptable.

Maybe sometimes Richie thinks he’s dragging Bev and Stan down with him, but he would never be willing to admit that for anything. So he lets Stan and Bev stand by him, lets them keep being dragged down by him. It’s as though they never interact with the other Losers, either. When Bill and Ben get outed in their relationship, Richie took come a couple of punches to the face in their honour. He hangs out with Ben alone for the first time in years after that, and once they get down to it and Ben finally asks the question. “Why did we stop being friends, Rich?”

And yeah, Richie almost backs out of that moment. He has emotionally issues galore, and it didn’t help that he’d been sitting on the guilt of this for three years, right? He broke up the Losers Club and for what? Because Eddie Kaspbrak- future Track and Field champion of Derry- didn’t wanna kiss him? But he’d come this far, and it’s Ben Hanscom- so god help him- Richie tells him everything. And Ben is sort of like? U know... that sort of makes a lot of sense, you’re both idiots. 

Ben mentions some huge party off-handedly, and says Richie should come. With Stan and Bev, of course. That their whole class was going to be there, that it wouldn’t be any drama, and that it would just be fun, you know?? and Richie is like... I’m going for weed and that’s it, defintely not because I miss you guys. and Ben is like ok sure richie whatever you say.

But you know... it’s Derry High so like the second Stan/Richie/Bev walk in the door to this house party, they are noticed. By Mike. Who exclaims excitedly and spends an hour trying to get Stan to do a keg stand, even going as far as to literally lift him upside down and carry him around all dangly. 

Then OF COURSE, Eddie comes up because that his best friend Mike and Richie’s best friend Stan. And Eddie has been standing around for a good hour and half being like ahah I should talk to him, but he hates me, but he looks so fucking good, no eddie he hates you so he’s finally three drinks in so he just fucking does it.

“They’re idiots, huh?”

Richie laughs, because maybe he’s a little drunk too, and hasn’t quite fully realized he’s talking to Eddie yet. Maybe Eddie looks cute as fuck right now, and maybe Richie is really ready to let go of the grudge he didn’t even need to be holding. It was a long ass time ago, they’re different people now. He’s over Eddie Kaspbrak.

Or he thought he was... until he was four drinks in and couldn’t stop staring at him. Until he was five drinks in, and they were making out against a wall.

Until it was Monday morning, and they were back to not being able to look each other in the eye. 

[alittleranting]

Yoonseok (Sope) Fanfic

So yeah hey see who had this on her laptop for almost a month and forgot to post it... So here you go, boo. @mysticalkpopper

You hear the rain pouring outside. Great.. really great, it's raining... What am I gonna do now? You'd planned to meet with your best friend Namjoon to have a BBQ. His little brother Jungkook and his best friend Taehyung also wanted to join you. But the guys were whining about the rain and cancelled it. Now you're just sitting in your living room, starring out of the window and whining yourself.. You let out a deep sigh and fall onto your sofa. You closed your eyes and think about that party you read about on a flyer. Initially you didn't wanted to go but it's your best option at this point. At least something you could look forward to. You decided to call your sister, maybe she has some time to come over. You dial her number: "Dawon?"

"Hey Hoseok, what's up?" "The guys cancelled and now I'm bored... Wanna come over?" "Sorry, but no I have to work the late shift today.. " "How come? You never have the late shift, unless..." "Bingo. My coworker bailed out because he wanted to go to a stupid party." "I actually thought of going to on myself..." "Mh ok, have fun then. Listen I have to go back to work but tomorrow I'll come over ok?" "Sure, see ya." "Bye." Dawon ended the call and you put your phone back on the coffee table. Another deep sigh leaves your mouth. You get up and drag yourself into the bathroom. A hot shower is probably the right thing with that unpleasant weather. After you finished you waddle to your bedroom. Still naked you stay in front of your closet. The hell should I wear? I have just too many clothes.. Yikes. Ripped jeans, a green button shirt and your new Balenciaga shoes probably will do it. It was still pretty early so you just put on your clothes and sat back down on your sofa. You scrolled through social media when you get a text from Namjoon.

"Hey Hobi what are you doing?" "Nothing really. I dressed up and think of going to that big party later. U?" "I went to a friend because he wanted my advice on his clothes. Guess he wants to go to the same party. But his type of clothes really aren't my style so I cant really say anything...." "Haha need my help?" "Technically yes but I can't just take pictures of him and send them to you.." "I mean TECHNICALLY you could." "Hobi you know I don't do stuff like that!" "Yeah yeah I get it. Then have fun playing dress up." "Thanks...."

Pfft.. Joon can play dress up with someone but won't grill a fucking steak with me. Guess I have to life with a fake ass bitch as my best friend. AND then he doesn't even send me pictures of that boy. Like come on maybe he has a cute ass.. I WANNA SEE!!!! Damn lucky noone can read your mind.. Your dramatic ass would be so embarrassed.

You take a look on your watch. In a while you could start walking to the location. You would still be one of the first there but then you can get a seat at the bar. You went into the bathroom to put on light make up and check yourself out for the last time. Grabbing your wallet, phone and keys you leave your apartment. You let google maps guide you too your destination and to your suprise there already is a queue. Nontheless you didn't have to wait long. You show your ID to the bouncer and get to enter the club. The room is huge and just a few people stand there in groups and are talking. The music isn't really loud yet so the atmosphere is rather relaxed. Just as planned you got a seat at the bar. You settled in and ordered a beer. After your third beer the club was pretty full, all those people were enjoying themselfs but you sat there alone. You started regretting coming on your own but after today you didn't wanted to mope anymore. Hesitantly you scoot down from the bar stool and make your way to the dance floor. As you start moving with the rhythm you feel you're in your element and lose yourself in the music. You don't even know for how long you danced when your bladder practicly screams at you. You drank six beer by now and your tolernace isn't high at all so you're pretty dizzy and waver to the restroom. Once you're there you look in the mirror. "Wow I look tousled." "Nah, you look pretty cute." A guy you didn't know showed up behind you and playfully slapped your ass while winking at you. He scared the shit out of you and you almost wet yourself. At the pissoir you bump into the guy next to you and murmer a 'Sorry' to him while making eye contact but your eyes didn't stay up there. They wander down to his dick. Mh not bad. Maybe a little small but definitly average.. I could make that work! The dude next to you eyes you. He's clearly uncomfortable with you checking him out BUT you couldn't care less right now. Finally relieved you go and wash your hand. You leave the restroom but not without checking yourself out a last time and fixing your hair. You decide it's better to take it slow so you return to the bar, take a seat again and order a glass of water to clear your mind. Moments later the barkeeper gives you your water and presents you 2 shots along side. "I DIDN'T ORDER SHOTS!" The bartender points to the other side of the bar. You follow his direction and see a young woman. Your eyes meet and she smiles gently at you. Not knowing what you should do you nod to her in appreciation and take a sip of your water. You listen to the music for a while but nothing they're playing at the moment sounds familiar to you. Suddenly you feel a hand on your shoulder, as you turn around it's the pretty girl. "Don't you like liquor?" "WHAT?" "DON'T YOU LIKE LIQUOR?" She pointed to the shots that still set next to your glass. "I DO BUT I DON'T WANT TO GET SUPER DRUNK." "YOU DON'T SEEM REALLY SOBER TO ME." She laughed and took both shots in her hand, handing you one. She clinks the glasses and downs her shot. You follow her. "I'M HOSEOK." "NICE TO MEET YOU. I'M YEEUN." She held out her hand and you shook it. "THANKS FOR THE DRINK. Do you wANNA DANCE?" "DANCE?" "YEAH. YOU WANNA?" You got up and looked at her curious. She shrugged her shoulders and followed you into the dancing crowd. You two had some fun dancing together but at some point she started grinding against you. You try backing up a bit but get shoved into her by the jumping people around you. Yeeun gets really touchy and you feel uneasy. "LISTEN YOU'RE CUTE BUT YOU'RE NOT QUITE... MY TYPE." "I'M CUTE?" Her eyes shimmer and it seems like she wanted to kiss you but you step back and push her gently aside. You rush away from the crowd into the restroom and lock yourself into a cabine. Damn that was weid.I never really attract women so how the hell did that happen!? You take a deep breath and left the room just to see Yeeun waiting in the doorframe for you. "Why you ran away? Wanted to lure me into the restroom? Naughty." "Listen! I don't like girls ok?" "Wait what?" "I'm gay!" "Eum..." Her face turned really red and she left without saying anything else. Puh.. that was awkward... Am I always that weird with people? No, that's not possible, right? I can't recall ever having such a problem with a guy. As you were cought up in your thoughts something else came to your mind. Yeeun spreed the idea in you to also look for someone. You already saw some cute boys and if it wasn't for your bladder you could have been the pray of the guy in the restroom, maybe you can find him again. Walking through the mass you scan the people for someone who seems like a nice match for tonight. After a while you felt like sobering up so you thought getting back to the bar was the best shot for now. You felt like wasting your time, sure you had had some fun but suddenly lying in bed and watching an episode of Adventure Time sounds very temping. You emtied your forth glass and decide that it's time for you to go home. Once again you move through the people heading for the door but before you could reach it a guy walks in. He's wearing  tight leather pants and a cute crop top revealing a belly button piercing which matches his earings. He's really cute and the first thing that comes to your mind is: "DIBS!" The guy you were reffering to looks at you with a mixture of suprise and pride. Just then you realized that you didn't thought but spoke it out loud. Your cheeks got flashing red. You wanted to leave the scenery so badly but the guy you dibsed still stood there blockig your way. You ran as fast as possible into the crowed aiming for the restroom to lock you up. You were panicking and the first person you thought of was Namjoon, you needed his help. You figet with your phone needing quite some time to unlock it and finding Namjoons chat. Guess I wasn't sobering up, just thirsty for more liquor. I'm drunk as hell. "Namjoon!!!!!!!!" "I fked up!1!!!!" "Im rlly druk n I yelled dibs at that hot guy that entrt the club.........." "Help!!!!!!!!!!!!" Namjoon didn't take long to reply. After seeing a dozend of cry-laughing smileys he actually send a text message. "Calm down, everything's alright. Yoongi just texted me literally the same, bragging about the fact that his outfit was hot and that some random dude yelled dibs at him." "YOU KNOW HIM!?!????!" "Yes I know him. I told you I helped a friend with his outfit for a night out. That was him. Just talk to him. You can even say that you know me or do you want me to text him for you?" "NO!! Pls dont! Ill tak to him." "OK, have fun, Hobi. And just so you know it: He's gay and on the hunt. ;D" You put your phone away and lean against the closed door. You close your eyes and try to foces. What should I say? How can.. Your thoughts got disturbed by a knocking on the door. "You in there?" "Wh-who's there?" "The guy you just dibsed. Wanna collect your price?" Not thinking twice you rip open the door and just look at the guy who's named Yoongi. "What?" "I mean you called dibs, you look good, so here I am." You still don't move and just look at him with wide eyes. Yoongi sighs and grabs your hand, you don't resist and move along with him to the bar. You refuse to drink more liquor but Yoongi downs 3 shots. "By the way I'm Yoongi." "I know, Namjoon told me about you." "Huh? You know him?" "He's my best friend." "Ahhh you're Hoseok." "He told you about me?" "Of course.  Although I'm hurt he never introduced us." "Mh maybe he had his resons. Do you dance?" "No." "But-" "I said no." "Why so stern?" "I- I can't dance." "Have you seen all those people? You really call that dancing? That's just body wiggling." You show him your bright, heart shaped smile and laugh about your own words. Yoongi just smiles at you with gentle eyes. "You know, you seem like a fun guy. Maybe it would be ok to try dancing with you." This time you're the one grabing Yoongi's hand and nevigate him to the dance floor. You start moving your body once again to the rhythm not taking your eyes of Yoongi who just stands there awkwardly. You grab his hand and spin him around until he's laughing. He sounds cute. You put your hands on Yoongis waist because he was dizzy and stumbling all over the place. "ARE YOU ALRIGHT?" "YES. Yes." He seemed to relax beause he started dancing again on his own and you joined him. After a while you grew confident and searched for more body contact. You scoot closer to him and lay your arms around him grinding against his ass. Suddenly you stopped your movement having a deja vu. Just as you wanted to make some space between you two you realize that he leaned into your embrace and moves along side with you. Probably wondering why you stopped moving Yoongi turned around and looked at you with a puzzled expression. You scan his facial features, the soft lips that form a pout, his dark eyes that search for an answer regarding your behavior, the cute nose, his heavy but decent looking make up. You didn't know what came over you but you cupped his face and pressed your lips against his. Yoongi widened his eyes but he didn't pull away. He slung his arms around your neck and traces his tounge over your lips searching for access. You part your lips and let your tounge play with his, due to the alcohol he tastes sweet and bitter at the same time. Lost in each other you just stand there kissing each other. Your hands wander down and grab his ass which feels squishy although he's wearing those tight pants. Yoongi suddenly breaks the kiss. "LET'S GO." With that he starts walking towards the exit and you trail behind him. Once you two are outside Yoongi reconnect your lips. In a short break he whispers into your ear: "Your place or mine?" "Ehm..." Fuck... fuck fuck FUCK. Should I go home with him? Or take him with me? Should I even at all!? I know I wanted to 'hunt' but know that it's at that point I'm not sure. Should I? Your head was spinning. All those thoughts rush through your head and the fresh air just makes everything spin even more. "Hey, are you alright?" "No, I don't feel so good." "Damn should I call you a cab?" "No no it's fine, I'll walk home." "Are you sure?" "Ye-" You couldn't finish your sentence because you vomited. "Sorry.. I can't take alcohol well." "I see..." Yoongi moved away some steps and pulled out his phone. "Hey Joon it's me. You think you could pick up Hobi? He's pretty drunk and I don't want to put him into a cab. - Yes? - OK. - Alright, I'll wait. - Yes, see ya." "OK, Namjoonie is gonna pick you up." "As I heared... Thank you." "No problem." Yoongi trudges around in a circle, repeatedly blowing air in and out of his right cheek. After what felt like eternity Namjoon arrived and put you into the car. "Thanks for looking after him, Yoongs. Should I take you home?" "Nah, I'm fine. I guess I just go back into the club." "OK, see ya." "Bye."

You see Yoongi vanish into the building while you try to smile at Namjoon but it came of more as a sad grin. Namjoon took a deep breath and shook his head. "What were you thinking Hobi? You know you don't take alcohol well.." "I know..." "You're lucky Yoongi knows me, who knows what could have happend." "I know..." He sighs and manoveurs you onto the backseat. You plomp down and curl into a ball. Namjoon gets into the drivers seat and brings you home. Once at your doorstep he pulls your keys out of your backpocket and even brings you to your bedroom. "Can I leave you alone or should I stay with you?" "No it's fine. I'll just lay down and sleep." You let yourself fall face forward into the mattress. You feel how Namjoon takes off your shoes and throws a blanket over you. "I wait until you fall asleep." "Thanks Joonie." "Of course." The bed bunks down beside you and you feel his hand caressing your back and ruffling your hair. Immediately you drift into a deep slumber. When you wake up the next day you take a look at the clock. It's the middle of the day and you kind of want to turn around and sleep some more but you're grossed out by your own smell. Alcohol, sweat and smoke - the holy trinity of a clubs smell. You rise your heavy feeling body from the bed and undress, on your way to the bathroom you grab a fresh pair of boxers and a cozy sweater. Finally under the shower you start to relax. The warm water pouring over your body seems to wash away your sever headache. At least a little bit of it. Now that your head is somewhat clearer you start to think of the previous night. You face palm yourself and lean against the cool tiles behind you. Oh god what the fuck did I do last night... I have to ask Namjoon for Yoongis number so I can apologize or maybe I just should make sure to never see him again so I can't embarrass myself even more.. You finish your shower, quickly dress up and your first instict is to call your sister. "Dawon, where are you?" "I'm on my way to you. Why, do you need anything?" "No. I'm just... stressed." "Tell me, I can hear it in your voice. But I have to rumble some myself so prepare some tea, it's gonna be a long ted talk!" "Oh- ok." Before you knew it she already hung up. You made the tea and didn't have to wait any longer for her to knock. You ripped open the door and fall into her arms, hugging her tight. "Dawooooon... I messed up big times... It's so embarrassing." "Stop whining. When you're like this I almost forget I'm younger then you." "But -" "No but. Just sit on yours and drink your tea. I give you some time to calm down. In the meanwhile just listen to me because otherwise I'm going crazy because of my coworker! I mean yeah he's pretty funny when you know him and he sometimes is a real weirdo but boy.. oh boy you have no fucking clue how annoying he can be. If something happened to him he's going to talk about it FOREVER. If it was something bad he pouts all day and whines about it and if it was something positive he's going to brag about it. But the worst is if both happend. Like something good tuning bad. For example today he was just sitting in the corner not really working saying he was "too upset" because this really cute guy from yesterday messed up or some shit. I didn't even listen. If Yoongi continues like this I'm seriously going to kill him." "Yoongi!?" "Yeah Yoongi, my coworker. Do you know him?" "No. Nononono. NO! Just no." "Hobi what the hell is your problem?" "That's the guy from yesterday.." "What do you mean?" "I'm the one who messed up. I'm the dude he's talking about!" "Wait WHAT?" "I told you I wanted to go to that party and he -Damn it makes sense you even told me your coworker wanted to go to that party..." "Oh god what happened?" "I kinda made out with him, wanted to take him home and vomited in front of him..." "No you didn't." "Yes I did." "Oh my fucking god." "Yup.." "But look at the bright side. You at least made enough of an impression to him so he whines about it to me." "I really don't see anything positive about that." "Didn't you listen to me earlier? He called you cute and was sad that that happened because he really wanted to go home with you." "You think so?" "Yes. Because, like I said, he wouldn't shut up about it." "And now?" "What do you mean 'and now'? You'll fucking talk to him and grab that ass." "Dawon! What the fuck?" "What? I'm maybe younger then you but I'm not an innocent child. Shocking news: I already had sex." "Dawoooon... I know that but I honestly don't wanna think about it." "God, I'll give you his number and you text him." "I don't want to." "Why? You just wanna handle it as a failed flirt? You know the chances of meeting him again aren't that small." "OK... Give me his number. I'll think about it." "Good." Dawon gave you Yoongis number, you drank your now cold tea and talked a little more. The day went by fast and it was already evening again. You texted Namjoon also asking him for advice how to handle the situation but he also just suggested you to talk it out or actually ignore it and hope to never meet him again. You spend the night thinking a lot before you go to sleep.

Almost a whole week past since the night you were out and you still hadn't texted Yoongi. Dawon as well as everyone else around you who by now knew about it teased you. You were almost sure at this point even Yoongi had heared about your stupid behavior. You just came home from work and sat infront of your food. You took your phone out, opened the still empty chat with Yoongi and started typing. "Hi here is Hoseok, the guy from the party last week." You paused and read the sentence again and again, the deleted it. No that sounds stupid... You start typing again. "Hello, I don't know if you remember me but I'm the dude who wanted to fuck you and RUINED IT BECAUSE I FUCKING VOMITED!!!!!!!!!" Yeah really subtile.. definitly perfect.. Damn what should I say.. You deleted it again and took a deep breath. "Hi here is Hoseok. I got your number from my sister, Dawon. Seems like you guys are working together. I wanted to apologize for fucking up. I really can't handle alcohol well. Would be awsome if we could meet up again. Sober this time." You hit send so you wouldn't overthink everything again although you regreted it instantly. OK, now we have to wait and hope for the best. Almost immeditaly your phone was vibrating. "Took you long enough to text me. If you want we can meet up. Mh Dawon.. now that I think about t you two do look very similar. Where do you wanna meet?" OK his text was kinda rude and all over the place but sure... I don't know where.. how about the when? "Yeah I guess we do. I don't have a special place in mind but let's start with the fact when we could meet up." "How about right now?" "OK?" "Good. Meet me in 2 hours at the new mall in the city center." OK.. ok.. okokok don't panic you can do that! Yes you can. I just need to change my clothes. You ran into your bedroom, throughing your working clothes into a corner and standing there once again with a puzzled look, not knowing what to wear. You look for almost 30 minutes before you go with shorts and an oversized white shirt that you tuck in in the front. Before you rush out you put tennis socks, a cap and some random shoes on and grab your essentials. oyu arrive just in time and see Yoongi already standing there at the front door. He seems even smaller then the last time because he's wearing a wide hoodie and skinny, ripped jeans. If he wouldn't have looked into your direction you almost wouldn't have recognized him because the bucket hat he's wearing covers almost his entire face. You approach him with a big smile but he doesn't react. he just sips from the coffee he's holding. "Hi?" "Hey." "I just wanted to say sorry again. I was gross." "It's fine. Shit happens." Yoongi waves his hand, symbolizing you should follow him, what you do. You goes inside the huge building. "My coffee is almost empty. Do you mind if we go grab a new one?" "No sure." You weren't familiar with the building therefore you just trailed behind Yoongi. Both of you didn't say anything. You got nervouse because you asked for this meet up but now it's just kinda awkward. Lost in your thoughts you bump into Yoongi who came to an holt. "Watch your step." "Oh yeah sorry." You look into his face and you think you see him smile a little while he shakes his head in disbeliefe. He orders an Iced Americano while you just grab a bottle of Sprite from the little fridge. Yoongie pays for both your drinks and trails off again. You murmer a thank you and follow him silently. Yoongi walked to a little bench and set down. You two just set there sipping from your beverage. Almost 20 minutes pass when you finally say something. "Soo... Why did you want to meet here if we're just sitting around? Wouldn't a café been more effective?" "Mh. I like the coffee here. I don't visit places I'm not familiar with." "But at some point this place also was unknown to you, wasn't it?" "Mh yeah." "See so you do had to try it first. Wanna be crazy and actually go around the mall?" "You mean strolling around and buying useless stuff? No thanks." "Oh come on." You stood up and held your hand out. When Yoongi wouldn't take it you took his hand yourself and interwind your fingers. "Come on grandpa. Let's have some fun." Yoongi didn't answer but he didn't seem to complain either. When you looked at him to find out what his mood was you saw him starring at the floor. He was trying to shield his face with his hat to hide the fact he was smiling. You thought it was so adorable that he's that shy. After searching for a while you found a little store that had decor and accessoires. You dragged Yoongi inside and let go of his hand to rummage through the shelves. On a little stand in one corner there was a little pink plastice crown, you grabed it and got back to Yoongi. You snatched his hat away and replaced it with the crown. He glared at you and made his infamous pout that Dawon told you about. You couldn't help it but melt. You cup his face and coe at him. "Oh my life you're sooo cute." At a loss of words Yoongi got all shy and blushed like furious. Not thinking about it you kissed him straight away. He melted into your embrance and slung his arms around you. You two got down from cloud 9 when you heared someone behind you. "Ew damn faggots, kissing where everyone can see it. Disgusting." Yoongi looked shocked and didn't seem to dare saying something. You on the other side grew brave when you're angry. "Your face is also disgusting and nontheless do you walk around in public were everyone can see you. So as long as you don't walk around with a paperbag on your head, I'm gonna kiss whoever wherever I want." Grabing Yoongis hand again you turn around and stumb away. You aimed for the exit when Yoongi suddenly stopped you. As you turnt around you  saw him pointing to the top of his head. Just then you realized he was still wearing the crown and neither of you payed for it. Luckily there seemed no price tag to be on it or something that could have activated the alarm of the store. You just stood there not knowing what to do when Yoongi started laughing. You hadn't heared him laugh so far and it was contagious. "Damn ok, I give up. You're right I should try new stuff more often. That was fun. I mean did you see the face of that dude? He didn't expect that comeback tho. Damn Hoseok you're cool." Now you're the blushing one and you just smile at him. Yoongi stepped unexpectedly close to you and almsot whispered to you. "Say, do you want to continue were we left off?" "Are you seriously asking that? Of course!" "Then let me ask again: Your place or mine?" "I live almost an hour away from here so probably your place." "I actually also live quite far away.." "Mh.. up to some more new things?" "What do you mean?" You looked around for your destination and quickly found it. "Just follow me." You didn't expect it but Yoongi willingly took your hand in his and interwind your fingers again. He was blushing a little bit and you wanted to kiss him so badly that you hurry to get to the area where the toilets are. You go in the one for disabled people because it's a single stall and further away from the main area then the normal ones. Once both of you were inside and the door was lockes you pin Yoongi against the wall and kis him passionatly. His lips are increadible soft and his body pressed against yours feels just too good. You put one of your legs between his to fixate him in that position but Yoongi uses the opportunity to grind himself on your leg. While your lips were still connected soft moans slip past his mouth. As he was stimulating hisself you feel your own lenght hardening. Seeing Yoongi enjoying himself turns you on. You let one hand wander down to cup his ass while you slide the other on up his hoodie andplay with his nipples. It takes only a few flicks to make him fully moan. He then drops down on the floor pulling your pants down with one swift move, revealing your throbing cock.  He pumps his hand up and down and licks over the tip of your dick. Soon enough he replaces his hands with his mouth, sucking you off. "Oh fuck, You're really good." You press his head down and rock your hips forth and back. Yoongi seemed to be encouraged because he bobbs his head even faster on your dick. You were lost in the feeling of his warm and wet mouth around you when Yoongi pulled away. He slid his own pants down. "Please fuck me!" He doesn't have to ask you twice for that. You lift him up and place him on the sink. You shove two fingers in his mouth. "Lube them." While Yoongi sucks on your fingers and lets his tounge play around your fingertips you stroke his little cock.Once your fingers were wet enough you glide both of them into his ass. He grabs onto your arms and inhales deeply. You scissor his ass open, you wanted to be rough with him but not too harsh. Soon Yoongis insides were clenching around your fingers in the hope for more. That's when you replace your fingers with your cock. Yoongi moaned loud and arched his back when you entered him. You placed a hand on his mouth and hold his other hand while you push your whole lenght in. Once you were fully burried inside him you slowly start moving. Fully out and back in. You want him to feel every inch of you filling him up. After a few more thrusts Yoongi closed his legs behind you pushing you deeper. "God dammit, stop teasing and fuck me already!" "As you wish, your majesty." Yoongi was flustered but didn't take down his crown. You kissed him to keep him muffled while your hips thrust into him fast and deep. Yoongi pulls at your hair to keep you as close as possible, enjoying your embrance. The small room fills with hot air and both of you start sweating. Longing for better excess you decide to put Yoongi down and shove him face forward into the wall; fucking him from behind. You play with his niplles and watch his small penis twitch with every delecate touch of yours. You feel the tention building up inside you, so you place your arm around his waist  pulling him closer and holding him by his throat pushing his head onto your shoulder while you increase your pace. You can see Yoongis eyes roling back into his head and nothing more then a pleasured whimmer escapes his mouth. You grunt into his ear. "Do you like being fucked like that little prince?" Because Yoongi didn't answer you stopped your movement. He's being needy and trys to move on his own but you hold im thight in place. "Answer me." You place a sweet kiss on his forhead. "Yes. Yes, I love how you fuck me. Please don't stop!" Satisfied with his words you pick up your speed and thrust relentlessly into Yoongi until you come inside him. His warm walls milk your cok and he himself came almost untouched. Yoongi made a mess on the tiles infront of him. He turns around kisses you eagerly. "Wow, we definitly need to do that again in the future." "We can repeat that as often as you want. I would glady fuck your fine ass again." Feeling playful you wink at him and show him a bright smile. Yoongi hits you soft and laughs himself. "You're an idiot." "If you agree  on seeing me more often, I may be your idiot someday." "Mh.. you know, I actually kinda like the idea of that."

[thefemalethatwrites]

Devil Within (Jason Todd/Red Hood x Reader)

Request: Nope.

Prompt: You were the second Batgirl alongside Jason’s Robin but when he did you left.

Relationships: Bruce Wayne/Batman x Reader, Dick Grayson/Robin/Nightwing x Reader, Jason Todd/Red Hood x Reader

Warnings: Cursing? Torture

Word Count: 2729

A/N: I’ve tried posting this multiple times in the past week but it hasn’t posted but now it has! I must say that this isn’t one of my best pieces. Enjoy anyways.

~~~

(Y/N)'s POV

"Hello everyone and welcome back to my YouTube channel. Today I was supposed to be met with a dear friend of mine, who've you met plenty of times before; Jason Todd, however he's bailed-" I was cut off by my phone, I raised an eyebrow as I looked at the Caller ID, 'Bruce', "Hello?" I answered,

"(Y/N), it's Jason" he said,

"What about him? What've you done?" I questioned as I stood up and began pacing,

"The Joker-"

"No! You're lying Bruce! Don't you dare say it!" I snapped cutting him off as tears appeared in my eyes,

"He's dead" He stated making the tears fall, I dropped my phone and fell to my knees letting out a painful scream and sobbed.

***

"Hello everyone and welcome back to my YouTube channel. After my 5 year break from it. As some of you may be wondering why I practically fell off the face of the Earth it's because someone extremely close to me died and I didn't feel like I could give you all my best when I definitely wasn't and I didn't want to put a facade for you. But I'm back and ready to get back to my schedule. I love you all so dearly. Until next time" I say into the camera before switching it off, I sighed as I quickly edited it and uploaded it to my channel, my phone began ringing, I glanced at the caller ID and growled, "What do you want Bruce?" I snapped,

"I need your help taking down Red Hood" he stated, I rolled my eyes

"And what made you think that I wanted to help?" I asked,

"Because he almost killed Tim" He retorted,

"Fine but I'm doing it so another Robin doesn't end up like Jason" I agreed reluctantly before hanging up, I left my recording room and headed into my bedroom, I glanced at my old Bat-girl suit scoffing in disgust before changing into a plain black top with a leather jacket and jeans, I tied my hair up and placed a simple black eye mask on before leaving through my window, I met up with Bruce and Dick,

"(Y/N)" Dick greeted with a smile, engulfing me into a hug, I rolled my eyes as he pulled away,

"Let's get this over with. I don't want to spend another second wasting my time with you" I sneered towards Bruce, he grunted in response before we searched the city for this 'Red Hood'.

Finally we found him, disposing of some drug dealers,

"It's about time you showed up. And you brought a new friend. Another replacement no doubt" Red spat,

"Replacement? I think not. How about I show you how much of a real deal I am" I threatened as I went to go for him but Bruce stopped me making me glare at him,

"This isn't your fight, (Y/N)" he whispered, I growled

"Then why the fuck did you ask for my help?!" I snapped slapping his arm away from me,

"Back up" he answered, which pissed me off even more,

"Back up?! Screw you!" I yelled and I punched him across the face, "Think twice before calling me for back-up again" I spat before going to walk away,

"It's Jason, (Y/N)" Bruce called over making me freeze momentarily as tears made their way to my eyes,

"So you finally figured it out" Red said as he removed his helmet, I slowly turned to see Jason stood there in the flesh, I sighed as I turned back around and headed home.

***

"It's worked. It actually worked" I mumbled as I paced my living room,

"Indeed. Now for you to hold up your end" A deep voice rumbled,

"Fine" I sighed stopping in place, I shiver crawled up my spine making me shake,

"We're now one" The voice announced within my head, I hummed in acknowledgement before turning to my window as Jason climb through it,

"And what can I do to help you?" I asked resting a hand on my hip,

"You look well" he commented, I rolled my eyes and folded my arms,

"What do you want?" I demanded,

"Ouch, that's the treatment your Bestie gets when you find out he's alive? I'm Hurt" he mused,

"Ex-bestie" I corrected,

"Wow...what happened to the happy YouTubing Bat-girl I knew?" He asked,

"She took your death hard, and as a warning that if she continued to wear that symbol on her chest she too would end up 6-feet-under" I answered, he hummed,

"You also stopped YouTube. Until recently" he stated,

"Your point? You were supposed to do a video with me before I got the news. I didn't want the memories to remind me of what I lost" I replied dropping my arms, he sighed,

"Do you still give the best hugs?" He asked, opening his arms awkwardly, a small smile pulled at my lips as I opened my own arms and he stepped into them and I wrapped them around his large frame and squeezed, "I missed you, so much" he whispered,

"I missed you too" I replied.

***

"Hello everyone and welcome back to my YouTube channel. Today, I'm joined by the one and only; Jason Todd!" I exclaimed as he sat in the chair next to me,

"Remind me again how I agreed to this?" He asked, I rolled my eyes

"Because you owe me. Plus, I'm your bestie" I beamed making him chuckle,

"Anyway, today I-we will be look at some of your fan-work; this includes art stuff, video edits and dare-I-say stories/imagines/head cannons" I explained,

"You're going to regret that last category" Jason commented making me slap his arm,

"Shush. Let's start with Tumblr art" I say as I searched my name and brought up several art pieces made by people,

"Hold up, is that us?" Jason said as he pointed to an artwork, it was of him and I younger, I was smiling/laughing and Jason had a bright smile on his face as he looked at me,

"Where did this come from?" I questioned as I looked through the progression shots then finally the source, "Oh my god. That was the second video we did together. It was a reading your comments" I stated.

***

I groaned as I made my way to my door, I opened it revealing Bruce,

"Nope" I say as I closed it but he stopped it with his hand,

"(Y/N), I need your help" He stated as he invited himself inside,

"The last time you needed my help I was only back-up" I retort, he sigh

"I know and it was wrong of me to do that to you but I really need you this time" He replied,

"You have plenty of other people to help you. Go get them. You can show yourself out" I snap as I began to head towards the kitchen

"Joker has them; Dick, Tim, Damian, Jason" He stated making me stop, "(Y/N) I'm begging you. Put on your cowl one last time for me. For Jason" he pleaded, I changed my course to my bedroom and pulled my batgirl costume out, I put it on and held the cowl in my hands as I exited my room,

"Still fits" I comment, a small smile appeared on his face as he nodded

"Thank you" He said before we headed out to his car.

We arrived at the Cave and was greeted by Alfred, Barbara, Kate, Stephanie and Cassandra,

"(Y/N)?" Barbara asked in disbelief,

"Yeah don't get too excited this is a one off" I replied folding my arms,

"The second batgirl was (Y/N) (L/N)! The famous YouTuber?!" Stephanie exclaimed,

"Yeah. Fan?" I asked, she nodded

"Only one of the biggest!" She answered making me chuckle before turning to Bruce who was now in his Batman suit, I put on my cowl,

"We work as a team. Our objective is to get the boys out" Bruce said, I rolled my eyes but nodded as did Kate, Stephanie and Cassandra,

"Shall we?" I asked as I headed over to the motorbikes.

***

We arrived at an abandoned toy factory,

"Stay alert. I don't want any corpses to drag out" I demanded before we entered the building,

"Do you really think this is a smart idea girl?" The demonic voice asked within my head, I hummed

"Spilt up, we'll cover more ground" I ordered,

"We'll be at a larger risk" Bruce retorted as he grabbed my arm,

"Do you want your sons or not?" I growled pulling my arm from his grip and squared up to him, he gave me his famous bat-glare which I didn't budge under, I only returned it,

"Fine we'll go in small groups, myself and Batgirl, and Batwoman, Spoiler and Black-bat" he ordered, I rolled my eyes and we separated down different corridors,

"Don't ignore me girl" the demonic voice snapped, I heard the psychotic clowns laughter making me spilt from Bruce, I looked through a window and saw each of the boys restrained to a metal chair and beaten, as Kate, Cassandra and Stephanie stood in the middle back to back, Bruce entered the room,

"Yey! Now the really fun can begin now Batsy's here!" Joker exclaimed before a swarm of his henchmen came out from any entrance possible, I sighed and climbed through the window on to the beams above, the four of them were easily overpowered and the Clown prince revealed himself, "I must say Batsy, I'm a little disappointed. Wait...where's Batgirl?" He questioned making me smirk,

"Who?" Bruce asked,

"You know Batgirl! She arrived here with you! I saw her!" Joker exclaimed,

"You must've been hallucinating Joker. No Batgirl arrived with us" Stephanie commented,

"She's right you know" I called out setting them all to look around, I wriggled out of the Batgirl suit revealing my pure black skin-tight bodysuit, I removed my cowl dropping it down below and moving from my position and placed on a simple black eye mask, "Batgirl never arrived with them, it was only little old..." I trailed off as I dropped from the beams on to a henchmen and snapped his neck, "...Me" I smirked before Bruce, Kate, Cassandra and Stephanie broke free and we began to take down the henchmen, Joker ran out of an exit making me growl, as I sliced a throat of one henchmen and drove my knife into a neck of another,

"(Y/N)! We don't kill! I thought you knew that!" Bruce scolded, I rolled my eyes and did a backward handspring avoiding the swings of a henchman before kicking the crowbar out of his hands and catching it before swinging it around his face,

"Get the boys out of here! I'll handle the rest!" I demanded,

"What So you can kill them all?" Bruce growled as he approached me as the last henchman fell, I glared at him

"No, so they can be treated. Now go!" I snapped as another swarm entered the room.

***

I groaned as I came conscious, one of the clowns managed to catch me by surprise with a crowbar to the back of the head,

"Ah finally, now how do you start a live stream Miss (L/N)?" A clown asked, I raised an eyebrow

"And why do you want to start a livestream?" I questioned earning a punch in the face, sending my head to the side,

"I don't. Joker does. Now tell me!" he snapped as he came to hit me but a gunshot echoed though the room and he fell backwards,

"Honestly, you can't find the men these days. I do apologise Miss (L/N) for his awful hospitality. Perhaps I'll be better. Now, let's start a livestream" Joker said as he approached a laptop that was hooked up to a camera, my eyes widened as it was on my channel, "Oh I hope you don't mind. Your channel does reach to a lot of people" he said before beginning the livestream, "See! We've only just started and we're closing up on 1million viewers. Our fans!" He cheered coming over to me,

"Go to hell!" I spat trying to get to him, he smacked me around the face with a crowbar making me yelp,

"Oh no we can't be having that. And to make sure that you don't die no one can cancel the stream or leave it" He chuckled before connecting the crowbar with my ribs causing another yelp,

"You can leave your streams on just leave your phone or computer or whatever you're watching this on" I demanded before getting another hit,

"So batsy, I know you're watching me along with all your bat-brats now you can either come save her or you could leave her in my hands. I promise I'll take the best care with her" Joker bargained making me chuckle,

"Of course you will" I commented earning another couple of hits, "B I know I've been off with you but if you or any of you other bats come save me I'll kick your ass myself. We all know I've been through worse. Since I was Batgirl" I smirked,

"What?! You were Batgirl?!" Joker exclaimed as he bent over in front of me, I narrowed my eyes at him

"Yes!" I growled as I kicked him in the manhood then head butted him.

***

"And we've hit the 72hours mark. Wow you can endure a lot" Joker stated,

"Come on girl. Kill him" The demonic voice commented,

"No" I grumbled,

"He's a monster" It continued,

"No" I repeated,

"Just like you" It stated,

"No!" I yelled gaining Jokers attention,

"No? No to what? Finally lost your mind?" Joker chuckled before skipping around the room,

"No. She didn't want to give up this fragile body to me" The demon spoke from me as I was locked into my mind.

Jason's POV

"No. She didn't want to give up this fragile body to me" (Y/N) said in a deeper, broken voice,

"Huh?" Joker asked as he stopped in his tracks, (Y/N) snapped free of the restraints kicking the Joker backwards into the camera, knocking it over,

"She fought so hard against me taking control and killing your pathetic self" (Y/N) spoke before the Joker let out multiple grunts, the camera was picked up revealing a bloody, bruised and beaten (Y/N) but her eyes were completely black, "I'm in control now. The girl you all once loved is gone and there's nothing you or she can do to stop me!" (Y/N) snapped before chuckling, dropping the camera that was aiming towards the Joker who was unconscious, "I must thank you 'Joker' if it wasn't for you, I would've never taken control of this body. Bye-bye now" (Y/N) cooed.

***

(Y/N)'s POV

"(Y/N)!" Jason yelled, I turned to face him,

"Oh it's you. The dead boy wonder. The reason she's in this predicament" The demon spoke,

"Shut up! He doesn't need to know this!" I snapped, the demon chuckled

"Oh but he does girl. You see Jason, (Y/N) was so torn up over your death that she went all over the world to find a way to bring you back. She eventually came across me and bargained her body as a host if I brought you back" The demon explained, I sighed

"But you didn't bring me back. Talia Al Ghul did" Jason retorted, 

"True but she doesn't know that. Or didn't" The demon chuckled,

"You lied to me!?" I exclaimed,

"You lied to her. Give her back!" Jason yelled as he came to attack, he was easily beaten and thrown on to his back,

"You want to know why she desperately wanted you back. Why she was so willing to give herself up?" The demon questioned as I circled Jason,

"You're probably going to tell me anyway" Jason grunted as I kicked him in the gut,

"She loved you. She still does. I know that her watching this is torture" the demon tainted as I withdrew a sword from thin air, "So why not let her watch you die" The demon said as I went to impale him,

"No!" I screamed and the sword stopped mid-way, 

"What the-?" The demon asked,

"You're not hurting anyone else" I growled making my eyes widened as I regained control over my body,

"No!" The demon yelled from inside my head, I smirked and threw the sword away,

"Didn't hurt you too bad did I?" I asked Jason as I helped him up, he engulfed me in hug,

"Not at all. I've missed you" He replied making me smile as I returned the hug,

"Me too. You best get me back to the Cave and locked up until Constantine arrives and removes this thing from me" I stated as I pulled away, he nodded,

"Just one last thing" He said before crashing his lips on to mine making my eyes widen in shock before easing into and returning it, we pulled apart and smiled at each other,

"I love you too. Since we were Robin and Batgirl, if I'm honest" He confessed, I chuckled giving him a quick peck,

"And I've loved you since then as well, Jason Peter Todd" I smiled.

[aroselane]

Beside You Ch. 9: Regret

Chapter Nine: Regret

We were standing in a small shop. Drawings and promotional clothing lined the walls.

The glass counter was full of piercings and different metal objects.

I stared at the bearded man behind the counter.

“So, you’re telling me that this one is your younger sister?” he asked Gus, but he was staring at me.

The guy looked at Gus’s ID and finally sighed.

“You got the money for this?” the man asked.

Both Benny and Gus turned to look at Michael.

“Oh yeah,” Benny said.

“Let’s move to the back,” the guy said as he lifted the counter divider for us.

We moved through, and I wasn’t sure I could handle it. Of course, if I backed out, I would be called the ultimate coward instead of being referred to by my name.

“Take your seats losers,” Benny said.

I sat in one of the leather seats, and Michael sat in another.

“What are we doing today?” the bearded man asked.

There was another guy in the back, this one was covered in tattoos.

Benny handed the guy a picture.

“That one is for him,” she pointed at Michael.

He looked at Michael before shrugging, “Where are we putting it?”

Benny thought about it for a minute before she pointed to the right side of her pelvis.

“Ouch,” I mumbled.

“And for that one?” the bearded man asked as he pointed to me.

Benny looked before bringing her attention to the large book at the counter.

Gus pointed at one, and she shook her head.

My gaze went to Michael as he laid back in the chair.

Benny walked over and handed a piece of paper to the man.

He looked at it before calling the taller tattooed man over.

“Where do you want it?” the man asked.

Benny was quick to point at the back of her left shoulder.

I frowned. At least it isn’t the discolored side of my back.

This meant I would have to remove my shirt.

Benny must have seen my face because she was quick to my side.

“It’ll be fine,” she said, “I made sure you got a nice one.”

I wasn’t so sure.

She grabbed the bottom of my shirt and forced it over my head.

I gasped. Her hands were cold, and so was the air outside of my shirt.

She didn’t even give me time to recover.

“This is happening dear,” she said as she pulled the left arm out of my bra, and then the tank top strap.

She pushed my shirt down in the back, and I had to cover my left breast so that it didn’t fall out of the shirt.

My gaze went back to Michael as he pulled his shirt up a little. The next part made my face go red. His hands went to his belt buckle, and he pushed down the front of his shorts until I could see pubic hair. It was then that I noticed the small trail of hair from just below his belly button.

His large tree tattoo is just barely visible. The dark colors made the skin on his abdomen appear paler.

I didn’t realize I was staring until Michael turned to look at me.

His head turned just slightly in my direction. His eyes darted down to my partially exposed breast, and I had to look away.

I felt his eyes still on me.

Should I chance another peek at him?

I slowly glanced over at Michael as I felt the guy behind me place the stencil on my shoulder.

Looking into his eyes sometimes felt like being trapped in a deep dark ocean. It felt like I was being consumed.

“Are you sure about this?” the guy asked Benny.

“Oh yes,” she nodded enthusiastically, “We’re doing this.”

Was I shaking?

I took in a deep breath and made eye contact with Michael again.

This time he just smirked at me.

I didn’t think this was how I was going to get my first tattoo.

 ++++++++++

 I had to remove both my bra and the tank top. My shoulder was far too sensitive to have either strap over it.

I suppose it was a good thing Benny carried that backpack. I forced my clothes in the bag the minute I took them off.

“A butterfly?” Michael asked, “Seriously?”

Benny laughed, “You know it is just the cutest thing.”

I didn’t get the chance to see it.

“He got a butterfly?” I asked, “What did I get?”

“A better one,” Gus said.

“A better what?” I asked.

“A better butterfly,” Benny said.

“How original,” Michael stated, “Next time can you guys actually try?”

“Did you actually see your butterfly?” Benny asked him.

“It’s a fucking butterfly,” he stated, “Does it even matter?”

“Sure it does,” Gus said.

Michael turned to look at me, “Let me see yours.”

“I can’t reach it,” I stated.

I watched as he looked at Benny and Gus.

What the hell was he thinking?

He moved forward and pushed me towards the bathroom. He was quick to push me in and lock the door.

It was just the two of us in here.

“Let me see it,” he said, “Turn around.”

“I’m not wearing anything under this.”

He didn’t listen, he turned me around, and he forced the back of my shirt up.

I gasped, “I told you.”

“Take your left arm out,” he said.

I had to maneuver my left arm out of the long sleeve and still manage to cover my breasts. He wasn’t really giving me a choice here.

I felt his hand on the bandage, and I still felt the pain.

He pulled it back slowly, and I wished he just ripped the damn thing off. At least it wouldn’t hurt as bad.

“How does it look?” I asked him.

He was silent.

“Michael?” I asked.

I felt his hand drift a little from where the tattoo was.

My skin tingled under his touch.

“It looks nice,” he said after a minute.

I tried to peek over my shoulder to see it myself, but I couldn’t.

“Here,” he said.

I couldn’t hear anything except for a clicking sound.

He placed the bandage back over and smoothed it out. The pain wasn’t as bad as he ran his hand over it.

“Put your shirt back on.”

I forced my hand back in the long gray sleeve.

I looked at him once my shirt was down.

When I looked, he reached into his pocket to pull his phone out, and he tapped the screen a few times before he showed it to me.

I stared at the butterfly tattoo.

“This is mine?” I asked him.

He nodded.

It was definitely a nice one, Benny didn’t lie about that.

It is mainly orange, dark orange, and the top of the wings are yellow-orange. It looked like it would fly off my back at any second. The bright red around made it seem less real, though.

I handed Michael back his phone, and I heard a knock at the door.

“What’s going on in there?” Benny asked.

“Show and tell,” Michael said back as he returned his phone to his pocket.

I met his gaze before his hands went to his belt.

I felt strangely excited as he unhooked his belt and opened the front of his shorts.

What was the matter with me?

He lowered his shorts just enough to see the bandage.

“Take a look,” he said.

My face went red, “What?”

I was most definitely looking.

“I can either hold my shorts up or take off the bandage, I can’t do both.”

I made a face before I reached for the bandage.

I placed one hand on the skin outside of the bandage while my other hand slowly pulled the cover back.

“Fuck,” Michael hissed, “That shit hurts.”

“Hold still,” I said.

I almost had it.

Once the majority of the butterfly was uncovered, I nodded.

“Damn,” I said, “Yours is pretty.”

He looked down, and I was surprised that he wasn’t mad.

His butterfly was smaller than mine, and it was angled in, so it was facing his stomach. The colors on this one are similar, but the colors were brighter as if it were in direct sunlight. The butterfly was mainly three different shades of orange, with a pretty teal at the tops and bottoms of both wings.

It took me a minute to realize I was crouched in front of him, and I was too close to his man parts.

He stared down at me.

We had too many moments like this.

I could see the interest in those dark blue orbs, and I knew my expression mirrored his.

Lust and awkwardness.

I didn’t wait for him to tell me to put the bandage back, I slowly ran my hand over to make sure it went on smooth. The muscles of his stomach reacted to the feel of my hand. I just barely skimmed the outside of the bandaged area.

When I removed my hands, Michael fixed his shorts.

“Losing sucks, doesn’t it?” he asked.

I shrugged and instantly regretted it.

“So, you’d get another one?” he asked.

“If I got to pick it,” I said, “But as long as you guys don’t tattoo a dick on me, I think I’ll be fine.”

Once we were both fully dressed, he opened the door.

“So?” Benny asked.

“His is prettier than mine,” I said.

Benny grinned. She was definitely proud of herself.

“Let’s get something to eat,” Gus groaned.

We walked out of the tattoo shop, and the cold air made me have to cross my arms.

Benny had to open her mouth.

“Is it a little nippy?” she asked.

I frowned.

She is still on her winners high, so she is forgiven. I just want her to focus on something else.

“You guys go,” Michael said, “I’ve got other plans.”

“Like what?” Benny hissed.

I was too irritated to think about my shirt. My hands dropped to my pocket to remove my phone. What time was it, and why did he think it was okay to leave now?

It wasn’t even 5:30 in the afternoon, and he wanted to bail.

A loud bang cracked across the sky.

“Maybe we should all turn in,” Gus said, looking up.

I didn’t really mind thunder or lightning, but I could feel light drops of rain on my face.

“Damn it,” I mumbled.

Today wasn’t supposed to be over so soon.

The rain started to come down a little harder.

“Come on, Ren,” Benny said, “We should head back.”

I wasn’t ready to go, but I didn’t know my way back from here.

We rode the bus back to the town square, and it was pouring rain.

Benny frowned before we had to get off.

She might not have been happy about the rain, but I was.

It had been a little while since I had seen rain, so I was pretty excited about it.

I was the last one off the bus, and I couldn’t help but twirl in the water.

The three of them went under the small bus stop cover.

“What is she doing?” I heard Gus ask.

“Let her have fun,” Benny said, “We have to wait for the next bus anyway.”

I stopped to grin at her, this was too awesome to be doing it by myself.

Benny smiled back, Gus looked at me like I was crazy, and Michael only stared at his phone.

“Won’t the water mess with her tattoo?” Gus asked.

I felt something hard hit me right on the top of my head, before I could react to his words.

“Is that hail?” Gus asked.

I could hear the ice chunks dropping all around us, and I still didn’t go to cover.

I stopped once a car pulled over right in front of us.

“Uh,” Gus said, “Are we expecting company?”

Michael moved forward to open the passenger door.

“I’ll see you guys later.”

He shut the door behind him.

The car didn’t wait to leave.

I stood there, watching the car drive away until I didn’t see it anymore.

“What an ass,” I said loud enough for the others to hear.

“Right?” Benny said.

“At least drop us off first,” Gus said.

We were laughing and cracking jokes until the bus finally pulled up.

The trip back to campus was short.

 ++++++++++

 I laid on my bed, and I stared up at the ceiling while Benny and Gus talked over skype.

Gus would say something dorky, and Benny would laugh.

She finally broke down told him about her parents, which was something I really didn’t need to hear.

He sounded upset, and I didn’t know if I was supposed to know about it.

I figured I would read over some stuff in my notebook, but I didn’t have it here. It was still in the pocket of my jeans, the ones at the motel.

I pulled my phone from the charger, and I saw that I had a message.

It was 9:45 PM. I think it was safe to go get my notebook.

I opened the message as I sat up completely.

It was from earlier. I don’t think I looked at my phone since I got back.

I opened the folder, and I saw Michael’s name with an unread text.

There was a weird feeling in my stomach. What did he even want?

I opened the message.

From: Michael – ‘You’re in public, you need to cover yourself.’

I made a face, when the hell did he send that?

I looked at the time I received it. It was when we were at the bus stop.

What a jerk.

I grab my shoes, and I put on a jacket.

Benny looked at me “Where are you going?”

“I forgot something,” I said, “I’ll be back in like fifteen minutes.”

She nodded.

I made sure to grab my keys just in case.

I walked quickly off campus, and I frowned at the loss of the rain.

The cold air lingered, and I was thankful I remembered to bring a few sports bras with me. Those didn’t hurt as bad to wear.

I also had to be careful not to get my shoulder wet. I didn’t think about it earlier.

Thankfully the plastic kept it safe and dry.

I headed to the motel, and I felt myself frown all over again.

It was definitely late enough, but what if he wasn’t there?

He didn’t show up in his room, he might be there.

It took a few minutes before I reached the room, and I knocked.

Was he here?

I knocked again, but this time the door opened.

Michael stood there in only his underwear, and I had to look away.

I was getting tired of having to look away. I was getting tired of being polite.

“What are you doing here?” he asked.

Why did he sound out of breath?

“Who is it?” it was a female voice that asked.

I was frozen, what the hell was I here for again?

“Ren?” he said, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Sorry,” I said, “I left some of my stuff here earlier.”

“She sounds cute,” the girl said, “Does she want to join us?”

I felt my skin crawl.

“Can I just get my stuff?” I asked, not even looking at him.

“Where is it?” he asked.

“I left it by the nightstand.”

He walked into the room, and I allowed myself to look inside. He went towards the nightstand, but I could already see the bag.

It was ripped open, and my clothes were on the floor.

I didn’t want to walk in the room, but the second I saw the girl holding the gold book, I rushed inside.

“What?” she gasped before laughing.

I ripped the book from her hands, and she looked mad.

Michael looked confused, but I think he realized right away why I was so pissed off.

“What do you think you’re doing?” the girl demanded, “I was reading that.”

“It doesn’t belong to you,” I hissed.

“Gross,” she said, “Is that yours?”

I was so mad I couldn’t see straight.

“Michael, why did you let her in?” she whined, “I want this fucking bitch out of here.”

I picked my jeans up from the floor.

“I’ll leave once I grab my stuff,” I stated. Of course, I was trying not to scream at her.

I had the feeling Michael wouldn’t kick me out, but I didn’t expect him to stand there silently either.

It’s rare for him to keep his mouth shut.

I grabbed the small toothpaste Benny brought for me, but when I saw the toothbrush, I knew it was no longer sanitary.

I put the notebook in my pocket and grabbed the deodorant, and the see-through black shirt.

“Ren,” Michael said just above a whisper.

I didn’t want to hear him. I didn’t want to be in the same room with either one of them.

“Michael,” the girl said, “I’m ready, let’s go again.”

I finally stopped in the doorway to hear what he had to say, but he looked completely torn.

Pussy or friendship. It was up to him, because he didn’t get both.

He let out a sigh.

“Hey,” he said in a pissy tone, “You need to get the fuck out of here.”

I wanted to charge over there and punch him.

I was about to leave, but my body didn’t move.

“Christ, Lindsey,” he growled, “Get the fuck out.”

I was frozen, is he really making her leave?

She made the ugliest sound as she pulled on her dress. She didn’t look like she had very much with her. Her heels were in one hand, and her purse was in the other.

“It’s Linda,” she said before pushing me out of her way, “Fuck both of you.”

“Good riddance,” Michael said.

I felt like I needed a shower. She really just touched me.

Michael sighed before pulling on the yellow shirt from yesterday.

“Benny let you come here by yourself?” he asked.

“She didn’t know I was coming here,” I admitted, “I just needed to get my stuff, I didn’t think you had company.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I didn’t know you left your notebook here.”

I lingered in the doorway.

His jaw tightened “Are you going to just stand there with the door open?”

“She also used my toothbrush,” I stated.

He looked down at the floor, “I wondered where she got that.”

He didn’t even care, that probably pissed me off the most.

“Did you get my message?” he asked.

“The one about my nipples in public?” I asked, making sure to sound as irritated about it as I felt.

“Yeah, that one.”

“Why does it matter?” I hissed, “They’re my nipples, I’ll do what I want with them.”

Damn, that sounded so stupid.

He didn’t say anything back. He just went over to the bed and laid down.

I was about to walk out, but I saw my socks on the floor. They were just at the foot of the bed.

I walked into the room to grab them, and I put them in my back pocket.

“It isn’t a good idea for you to stay,” he said.

I looked over at him, he was on his side looking at me.

“As if I would touch you right now,” I tried not to hiss.

His expression changed, and he looked obviously pissed off.

“You don’t deserve to be mad at me,” I stated, “I was going to leave anyway.”

He sat up and just stared at the wall.

“She was reading my notebook,” I said, “Didn’t you think for a second that maybe that bag had something important in it?”

“Obviously, that was the last thing on my mind,” he stated.

I know it wasn’t anything I deserved to be mad about, but it pissed me off that he was such a whore.

“Why?” I asked, “Why do you do this?”

He didn’t turn to glare at me, he didn’t say anything insulting either.

“I need it,” he admitted.

It took me a minute to really put it together, when he said he took pills to escape, it wasn’t his only way.

“You’re saying you don’t have to think?” I asked.

He looked back at me “It doesn’t really require a lot of thinking.”

I wanted to stay mad, but I remember when he told me he wished he could have gotten away like I have. Turning myself off, my brain, and everything around me. He couldn’t do that, but he wanted to.

His partners, I’m sure, were probably as careless as he is. It wasn’t safe for him.

“Are you being safe?” I asked.

“Wow,” he said, “You are the last person I want to talk to about sex.”

“Fine,” I shrugged, “I’ll see you later.”

I heard him call my name before I shut the door, but I just didn’t care right now.

I can’t take back that I finally admitted to myself that I had a thing for Michael, I just wasn’t willing to put myself in that position.

The walk back to campus was a lot slower and filled with a lot more anger than it should have.

Was this going to be a thing now? I wasn’t sure I could take feeling like this. It was exhausting. I was exhausted.

Once I finally got back to the room, I didn’t care to talk. I turned my phone off before setting it on the dresser, and I laid down after dropping my stuff on the floor and shoving it under my bed.

“Are you alright?” Benny asked me.

“Yeah,” I said as I looked at her, “I’m just tired.”

I laid face first in my pillow to avoid putting any pressure on my shoulder.

“Okay,” she said, “Sleep well.”

“Night.”

-

-

Song: 

First to Eleven - Regret

[pkrs-fr]

wisteria whirls: the shortcut edition

Alright, I’m lazy as hell and have realized I’m never going to get my lore together (at least in a timely fashion). I really want to send out a general idea of what’s happening in my clan because I’m sick of half my dragons and want to do a lair purge, but can’t without a Lore Reason because it’d bother me. So here’s the abbreviated version of What’s Going Down and What Has Gone Down, feat. the snarky tone I use when I really don’t want to be writing stuff and can’t take things seriously.

My clan lore revolves around two struggles for the most part: “how many familiars is Enough” and “what are the limits of humanity” or something like that. Y’know. Just “is what we’re doing SERIOUSLY a moral thing to do”, applied to a whole bunch of situations. What’s a story?

Oh also here’s the page with lore and titles and stuff. Fancy.

1. In the beginning, there was Titania, a Fae who hatched in the realm of the Arcanist and wandered for years before meeting Solus. Solus was kind of a jerk but hey he was better than wandering and their magic apparently worked well together to make a bunch of little dragonbabies. They settled in the Crystalspine Reaches and quickly made long-distance allies in Wind and Lightning. These Wind and Lightning clans sent Notturna and Aya respectively. Notturna helped Titania with day-to-day duties, and Aya used his knowledge of. Another clan, one from Light, sent a hatchling named Marimba.

Titania found the Auction House went on a journey around the fringes of the Starfall Isles and rescued a bunch of kids. Byzantium, Aster, Opalus, Tiay, and Geode. Byzantium and Aster bonded with Marimba quickly and became the clan’s fighters. Opalus became an alchemist, and Tiay and Geode became interior and fashion designers respectively. Gotta make this lair livable SOMEHOW.

However, something quickly became apparent and that something was “Solus is a racist prick”. In his eyes, none of these new additions to the clan were valid members of Arcane because they came from other flights. Dude. Chill.

2.  Notturna and Aya mated and kept Auxiliary, who became a healer in training under Aya’s tutelage. Along the way, Notturna found her own out of flight babies, those being Fulgurite (Lightning rep), Julien (clan mascot and woobie), and Pendergast (guy who sits there and is abrasively protective). They also found an old Pearlcatcher named Blake wandering around and being a prick. Although they only meant to shelter him for like three days or something, it got out of hand and now he’s a permanent fixture and no one likes him except Fulgurite for some reason. Like, they mated. And had eggs. So many eggs. Do you want an egg? I don’t want an egg. Please take their eggs.

Anyway a problem was that Pendergast immediately took his charge to be Tiay and was a massive jerk about it. “Don’t come anywhere near her she’s my charge” sort of thing. Another problem was that Blake was a filthy freeloader and we’re not sure why we didn’t kick him out but here he is, 2 years later, still being a dick.

Four more hatchlings came to the clan. Ruby, Leviathan, Phaino, Tridacna, and Tanzanite. Ruby and Leviathan immediately stuck together like glue and refused to stop plotting the clan’s downfall, as tiny troublemakers are wont to do. Phaino went with Opalus to become an apprentice alchemist, Tridacna wanted to become a coli fighter, and Tanzanite also is a freeloader but at least she does jobs that she’s asked to do. (just @ blake next time) Anyway Opalus is like the dad to all these kids now.

3. Even more new dragons. Rhyolite was brought in as an ambassador to Fire, and Fulgurite remained a Lightning ambassador. (To this day I have friends in neither flight.) Adonia came to the clan as well and was tiny and cute so she became the representative and messenger of the clan itself. That’s cool.

Gavotte and Robyn came along as well as Merriam and Gioclase. Gavotte and Robyn became journalists and started documenting what happened in the clan, so that was cool. Merriam was convinced she was a wizard. I don’t know why, don’t ask why. She has zero combat experience and regularly convinces herself that she’s a Nature/Fire/Wind/whatever mage. She’s an Ice dragon. Why is she like this. Gioclase, as a rogue for hire, immediately gravitated to Leviathan and Ruby and they just plotted for weeks on end.

More importantly, there was Fortissimo. Fortissimo was cranky but he had a good reason for that, that being “he’s prone to magical outbursts for no reason that often end up destroying chunks of the lair and he hates it”. He tried to keep that on the down low so no one really paid attention or noticed. He thought Merriam was pretty cute though and also eggs. E G G S

Hirwen and Nacre are also there. I forgot to put this in my outline. Hirwen saw the clan, went “nah”, and then abandoned it for a while. She came back though. Now Nacre, her girlfriend, is sad and full of abandonment issues. Anyway they’re both mechanics.

4. It was my birthday and I hatched one of Fortissimo and Merriam’s nests. The very first child of their entire Coatl/Nocturne 3% Coatl rate was, in fact, a Coatl named Vega. I kept him. He’s my avatar. The IMPORTANT THING IS he also had a brother named Pulsar, who proceeded to wreck things with a giant magical blast. Things happened and basically Fortissimo is now Very Dangerous And Full Of Magic. Vega could stay because he didn’t seem to exhibit any of the magical outburst things, but he was given some semi-parasitic mushrooms to feed off of his magical energy (wait I could make a new lore thing out of this) and keep outbursts from happening.

There was also Theia, who immediately flocked to Under Gavotte and Robyn’s Wings and became an amateur journalist who put on adorable little “okay this is what happened in the clan” things. And Aubade, who was an Imperial for a while and thought it too clunky so he got breed changed to a Fae. Follow your dreams. Aubade tended to see the good in everyone and everything.

Also the fact that Pulsar was taken away from the clan led Vega to develop serious abandonment issues but shhh

5. Aya thought that Solus’s blatant racism was pretty bad so he organized a squad of people to check it out and figure out how to convince everyone else to throw him out. They all wore birdskulls. It was cool.

6. Mie and Shilling came into the clan to work as hoard guards with Mila, an old and cantankerous drill sergeant. About as soon as this happened, Solus started being Extremely Cranky, the worst he’d ever been. Gioclase immediately bailed because he was a cowardly wretch. Mie and Shilling were mostly confused and politely asked to leave, please. (And so they did.) Robyn and Gavotte were screamed at by Solus and understandably left, leaving Theia feeling very alone and sad. Mila left too, mostly because she got bored. Same with Tridacna.

In the meantime, someone realized we had WAY too many dragons in the clan, so we moved to the Starwood Strand. And stayed there. Because the aesthetic is good.

Also I think I had dragons named Linnia and Kranion at some point but I forgot what they did and I sold them anyway so who cares.

7. So by the way our hoard apparently needs guarding. Mie and Shilling did this for a while, watched over by Mila. Unfortunately they all left. Amaris and Amicitia came along later but that’s not relevant right now. But here’s the thing about how our familiars work: Coli enemies are typically just puppets controlled by the Shade at this point, and defeating them drives the Shade out, leaving them lifeless. HOWEVER they sometimes imprint on a warrior dragon and go home with them, but they’re reliant on the magical energy of the dragon to Maybe Not Die. This is unfortunately impractical when your clan has upwards of 800 familiars, so Hirwen and Nacre rigged a device to use the elemental energy contained in festival currency and chests to keep the familiars from dying forever. But no one has to KNOW that.

So that’s why we need a familiar commissioner to watch over them and the hoard guards don’t know why they’re guarding the hoard. It’s very serious business.

8. Along the way somewhere, we picked up a dragon named Acapella, and obviously she was Shade-possessed. I mean there’s a 666 in her ID. I think I just ran with it. Anyway everyone’s suspicious of her and her actions, except maybe Aubade, who started having weird dreams about a singing Mirror child. Coincidentally, Amaris and Karalynn came to the clan. Karalynn’s an astronomer and wanted to investigate the influence of Arcane energies on the study of the stars. She then realized that there was a massive dark patch over the clan’s area of sky, which was worrisome to say the least.

Amaris is tired all the time and has occasionally prophetic dreams. So that’s cool. The prophetic dreams foretold death and destruction in the clan. So that’s not cool.

9. Okay so we finally got a familiar commissioner and his name is Jones. He brought a mate. She’s Pica, a chocolatier. But whoops a daisy, we also have Boysen, a not-pastry chef! The conflict between Pica and Boysen grew to a head and eventually Phaino stepped in to offer Boysen her patronage. Aw, cute. Insularia came to the clan too, a roaming vagabond who was taking shelter. She immediately became suspicious of Leviathan and cozied up with him to figure out his deal. Ruby is jealous. Amicitia came to the clan too, a wide-awake hoard guard to be friends with Amaris, a never-awake hoard guard. They’re not very effective.

For some reason even though Insularia and Amicitia look entirely different they’re related. I don’t know how that happened.

Oh also I finished my breeding projects around this point and got Zayla, Mel, Oliver, Cory, and Nathaniel as OC fandragons. They’re cute. Just imagine them sitting on the sidelines of the lore and going “not dealing with that” every time something happens.

10. If the familiars stay alive because of dragon energy, and Fortissimo has too much dragon energy, what if we made a machine for him to release excess energy into?

That went terribly and now he’s locked in the Vault in a comatose state because he tripped on a wire. Good job team. But in the aftermath there was an egg, which hatched into a quiet little Noc named “Unnamed”. This is because Denizen and Finite, those lovely Guardians who are my lorekeepers and very creepy, found her in the vault and didn’t see a reason to name her. She never speaks, having no reason to. It’s funny because Finite doesn’t speak either. Literally the only one who speaks is Denizen, and even then it’s a sometimes thing. It’s amazing that no one’s gotten suspicious of them yet but here we are.

Anyway Jones is freaking out. But no one can know about this. NO ONE.

11. Acapella actually managed to influence enough of the Shade to like, crawl out and poke Blake a little. Blake then attacked Tanzanite, who was like “okay Blake is a whiny baby not a fighting whiny baby SOMETHING IS WRONG HERE” so they investigated it and found out that it was, indeed, Acapella’s fault. As it tends to be. For some reason no one’s doing anything about this because Aubade is completely convinced that she’s a good person somewhere. Tanzanite got a breed change to be a Bogsneak to combat Acapella’s influence by going where no dragon in the clan had gone before.

12. Meanwhile, Julien, Pendergast, Geode, and Tiay got tired of dealing with the clan and straight-up left. Notturna is really sad over this. Merriam is also really sad over the fact that FORTISSIMO IS MISSING. So now they’re sort of just holding on to each other and scream-crying.

13. Amaris and Karalynn are gay. Amaris manages to take Karalynn up to see the stars, but ends up passing out. So it turns out stuff’s going down behind the scenes, or something. Bad premonitions. Anyway they hurry back to the lair.

14. Re: the familiars, Jones comes to the realization that Fortissimo is only alive in the loosest sense of the word and that it’s most moral to pull the plug on him. So Fortissimo’s dead now. ONE CASUALTY SO FAR, I guess. Jones announces it to the world, Vega and Merriam are heartbroken. However, the Unnamed starts speaking in plain freaking Draconian that “hey by the way I’m the last child please love me” and so on. Anyway she takes the name Myosotis. Because forget-me-nots. Because don’t forget Fortissimo. Ha. Hahaha.

Jones leaves the clan out of guilt and the weird looks everyone’s giving him. Pica goes too because they’re mates and she likes him more than she likes the clan, and also it’s really dangerous these days. Boysen almost leaves because without Pica’s rivalry, there’s no reason for him to stay and spice up his life. Phaino, his mate, is offended.

15. Acapella somehow influences Solus and makes him think he’s a boss or something and he henceforth wreaks havoc on everyone. He’s like racist, but also dangerous and feral now. Aya attempts to intervene, and winds up dead. TWO CASUALTIES. Notturna freaks out, finally takes a stand for herself, and leaves with Auxiliary in order to protect themselves. Blake gives everyone a really long Reason You Suck speech, except it’s just for the clan, and leaves. Fulgurite follows him. Hirwen is mad because SHE wanted to do a Reason You Suck speech but Blake beat her to it and also leaves. Nacre, not knowing what to do with herself, leaves as well, but on a pilgrimage to the Arcanist to figure out what she’s doing with herself.

16. Leviathan and Ruby are doing just fine causing minor chaos, but Ruby’s heart isn’t really in it. She reveals to him that she’s worried, he laughs it off. He stops laughing it off when Solus leaves Ruby near-dead. She leaves the clan feeling alienated and frustrated, and Leviathan acknowledges his mistakes and feels Really Really Bad. Insularia comforts him somewhat, reveals her past, and makes him feel worse. But he’s more self aware? Anyway they become an Actual Couple instead of a Functional One and Leviathan resolves to reform.

17. Aubade continues to insist that Acapella is not actually mean. There’s some pseudo-religious and science things with notes left behind by Hirwen and a lot of puzzling through with Amaris and Karalynn, but long story short the Shade is banished from Acapella. Yay. Aubade, however, realizes that she’s completely vulnerable at this time, and suggests that she goes to follow the Arcanist as well. He accompanies her to work in her service, leaving Vega and Theia sad and somewhat abandoned. Solus no longer has as much Shade-fueled power to Go Forth And Cause Chaos and he’s really upset about that.

18. Did I say “upset” because I meant “REALLY PISSED OFF”. Solus realizes that everyone’s scared of him and is bitterly joyous about it, He intimidates Rhyolite into leaving and tries to kill Amicitia, and nearly succeeds. Wow everything is so dark™ and edgy™ here in the Whirls. But Amaris and Karalynn save Amicitia by… changing his appearance entirely and also he’s kind of a cyborg now. He’s not sure how to feel about this. I’m not sure how to feel about this, and I wrote it. Just bear with me.

19. Titania finally takes charge and screams at Solus to leave the clan. He does. He’s exalted. Bye binch. With that, everything calms down, but no one wants to try and rebuild.

20. Meanwhile my OC fan dragons are like “well this is a thing that is happening” and generally having a good time while ignoring everything else. They’re approached to lead the clan because they’re the only ones who are having a good time. They agree and have no clue what’s even going on, bless their souls.

ANYWAY YEAH. So half my lair is supposed to be gone. If anyone happens to be interested in buying some I’ll have a thread set up in a week or so to figure out what’s up. Hope this was entertaining and not too long-winded.

[singulari-taee]

The Danger in Duality  | 01

COLLEGE! AU  |  ASSASSIN! AU  |  ANGST  | SMUT  | COMEDY | 4k

BTS X Reader

“You and your seven squad members must take on the struggles of being world-class assassins while also living as full-time college students.”

Burning debris fell from the night sky like confetti, smoke clouds reaching for the heavens. The once abandoned warehouse was now a crumpled mess, disintegrating in a fiery blaze as the only car on the road careened away from the hellish scene.

“Did you see that shit?!”

“That was so cool!”

“_______, that spin-kick you did was incredible– landed so solid on the bastard’s neck even I felt it!”

“Jungkook that last kill-shot was perfect, you came right on time I thought I was dead for a second.”

“Okay, Yoongi, I have to give you props, man. Those two neck snaps you did before we left were beautiful, you have to show me how to do that again…but practice on someone else next time, please?”

“Everybody let’s give it up for Seokjin for setting off that last bomb.  Bro, you should have seen their faces when the timer started going off without anybody touching it. They didn’t know we had a genius hacker working on the outside,” Namjoon said as he shook Seokjin’s shoulders proudly. The older boy was driving, and the car erupted in wild applause as he beamed.

“What can I say? I’m just really good at my job,” he said, smug, “But my systems picked up two bombs in the building, so I’m wondering where the other–”

Suddenly, the entire sky was orange, the flames spreading wildly as the deafening sound shook the road beneath them. The SUV jumped and swerved out of the lines, the interior colored with the light of the 2nd explosion that night.

“There it is.”

“That never gets old,” Jimin said smiling as he looked back at the damage.

“That’s gonna make the news for sure,” you sighed, “So much for keeping a low profile.”

“Any trace that we were even there is up in flames now, so we should be safe,” said Namjoon.

By just looking at you and the car of rowdy, smiling boys, no one would have guessed you were all a squad of thoroughly trained assassins. It wasn’t a normal job per say, not one that you could exactly put on your resume or brag about, since telling people you took human lives for a living wasn’t absolutely the best conversation starter.

The eight of you all grew up together, troubled youth that had been taken in under your own unique circumstances. Honestly, screw-ups like you didn’t deserve another chance–should have been kicked to the curb and outcasted like all the others. Most of you had pretty much accepted that fate; it’s just how it was supposed to be. But for some reason, you were all special. Special, with enough potential for the academy to take notice of. And just special enough for them to take the time to breed screw-ups like you to become the best killers the world had to offer.   

Your squad code was “Make it clean. Make it quick”, or in other words, don’t be overly messy or draw unnecessary attention to yourselves. You all had one objective: Hit your target and get the hell out. Something the academy promised was that you would only be killing people that deserved it, scums of the earth that had too many chances to right their wrongs and got away unpunished every time.

You all liked to think of it as “taking out the trash”.

Though there was one thing that sometimes got in the way of the job…

“FUCK!” Jungkook suddenly screamed.

“Hey, watch your mouth!” Seokjin called from the driver’s seat.

“The hell’s wrong with you?” Yoongi asked, putting his gun back in it’s case.

Jungkook slammed his fist against the armrest. There was an audible crack, and the leather tore down the middle just the slightest bit, “I forgot to study for my chem exam tomorrow!”

College. 

“I swear to God if you break my car Jungkook I’ll pull over and break your nose. You may be the best shooter in the northern hemisphere but you’re not too good to catch an elbow to the face!” Seokjin exploded.

“Yeah, who do you think you are, Hercules? Relax,” said Hoseok.

“Sorry,” Jungkook muttered, embarrassed. It was an understatement to say that Jungkook had anger issues, and being the strongest in the squad didn’t help that at all.

“I just tutored you two days ago and marked it on your calendar, how’d you forget?” Namjoon asked.

“I was too busy preparing for this mission!”

“Maybe if you spent less time in the gym and more time on your studies you wouldn’t have this problem,” Seokjin said.

“Oh no! I had an essay due at midnight that I never got to write!” Taehyung gasped, holding his face in his hands.

“Tae, you keep missing assignments. I seriously wonder how you’re not on academic probation yet,” Jimin laughed.

“The academy can only bail you guys out so many times. You’ll get a wake up call when they stop paying that tuition,” you snorted.

The eight of you came to the conclusion at the end of your training years that killing wasn’t the life you all wanted to live forever. Sure, the pay was great, and so were all of the perks, but it just wasn’t enough. After talking it over and weighing all your options, you decided that you wanted to go to school like other young adults your age, get a degree and maybe live normally once the time was right– finally be somebody for once. Sure, you could retire early from all the money you earned doing what you did, but it didn’t feel complete. After much convincing your boss that it wouldn’t get in the way of work, he found the vision amicable. Soon the academy enrolled you into university, agreeing to pay for your education and housing. The only thing you all needed to do in return was complete your missions.

It was a good deal honestly.

“Seokjin, can you hack the school system for me to make it seem like I turned it in on time? I can write it when we get home and send it to you! The professor probably won’t even check for another two days!” Taehyung asked, grabbing Seokjin’s headrest as he pleaded.

“I did that three weeks ago and you still got a D, so no! I’m not wasting my expertise so you can be below average. Now put your seat belt on!”

Seokjin was the group hacker and getaway driver. He was recruited by the academy at the tender age of 13, after being in and out of youth prisons for breaking into government sites and downloading confidential information for the hell of it. He rarely went inside during missions, opting to be everyone’s eyes on the outside by parking in some dark discreet corner and telling what he saw. His pride and joys were his SUV and computer–the only weapon he needed. From the front seat alone he could break into security cameras, shut off the electricity for miles around, and detonate bombs in terrorist hideouts like he had done minutes before. Even without a gun he was just as dangerous.

“Please! I promise I won’t ask again!” Taehyung begged, giving the cutest expression he could muster. Seokjin looked at the boy from his rearview mirror and sighed.

“Have it in my inbox by 10am…no exceptions,” he rolled his eyes.

“Thank you so much!” he said, hugging him around his neck and planting a kiss on his cheek.

The whole van swerved again, and everyone screamed at Taehyung to stop.

“Not the face! Not the face!” Jin said, pushing him off.

Their scenery began to look familiar, and miles later they were nearing campus.

“Alright Jungkook and Tae we’re getting close to your dorm so be ready to get out,” he warned.

The two of them checked to be sure their weapons were secure in their bags as they approached their building, a quaint dorm that looked like it hadn’t been renovated since the day it had been built.

“Tae, remember, 10 am! And if you get anything below a C say goodbye to your ride for the next week,” Jin warned before the boy could leave.

“I’ve got it, mom, don’t worry,” he said, “Love you, guys!”

“Good work tonight everyone, see you tomorrow,” Jungkook said as he hopped out behind him, slamming the door way harder than necessary.

“I’m going to kill that kid one day, I promise,” Seokjin said as he gripped the wheel, watching the two youngest run to their building, “Tae too.”

“Nah, wait until after our next mission at least. We might need them.” you said.

The two stood in front of their door, looking in their jacket pockets and bags desperately. They seemed to be arguing as they pointed at the card scanner.

“Did they both forget their IDs to get into their dorm again?” Jimin asked, looking through the window.

“Isn’t that the 2nd time this month?” Hoseok asked.

“Yup.”

“Dumbasses,” Yoongi scoffed.

“Should we…help them get in?” you asked.

“Hell no, they’ll figure it out. I’m tired and my bed is calling me. Drive, Jin.”

“Fine by me,” the oldest said, stepping on the gas and ignoring the boys as they attempted to run after the car.

“I don’t know how they survive living together. I was sure one of them would have at least tried to suffocate the other in their sleep by now,” you thought aloud.

“Beats me,” Seokjin said, “Hey, Jimin, here’s your stop.”

They pulled up in front of a mansion-like brick house. There were greek letters painted on a banister that hung from the roof, the material flowing proudly on the quiet street. Though, if you came back at this time of night on any given weekend, it was a totally different scene.

“Alright see you later, guys,” Jimin said as he collected  his things. His hand went to your thigh, grabbing it for “balance” as he tried to make his way past you to the exit, “and you too, sexy,” he winked.

You flipped him off as he closed the door.

Jimin’s flirtatious ways towards you was nothing new, but it still got under your skin every time just because of how good he was at it–though that was not something you would ever admit to him, even on your deathbed.

“If I ever decided to cut his dick off one day, would any of you stop me?” you asked, watching the teasing boy enter the frat house as you drove further down the road.

“No he kind of deserves it sometimes,” Hoseok shrugged, “I’m sure he’d still like it though just because you would have to touch him.”

Moments later you were at the end of the street and at your apartment complex. It was eerie and dark, since there were only a few lights on to illuminate the halls and parking lot. But how inviting are college apartment buildings usually at 4am?

“Second to last stop, see you later, ________,” Seokjin said.

“Later,” you said as you waved back at the four boys.

Instead of driving off like he had with all of the others, Seokjin stayed parked in front of the building. You had insisted that you were okay to be left alone, since they all knew you could hold your own, but they protested every time you brought it up. They always stayed put until you walked through your door. Namjoon’s logic was, “You never know who could come and snatch you when we leave. How am I supposed to explain that to the academy?”

He, Yoongi, Seokjin, and Hoseok were all roommates at the neighboring apartment complex. Since they were the four oldest, it was only fair that they claimed the nicest living quarters on campus. Though you found yourself spending more time there than your own  recently, not that they minded much (besides Yoongi, who would not so subtly say “Don’t you have your own place and roommate you can annoy?”)

You headed over to a wall of bushes in front of your building. Reaching inside the thick leaves, you pulled out the backpack that you had hidden deep within. You unhooked your guns and knives from the waistband of your pants before putting them in, pulling out a hoodie you always wore around. You shook out your tight bun and let your hair fall loose on your shoulders. Making your way over to your door, you looked yourself over one good time, just checking to see if you looked ‘tired college student’ enough. You flung the bag onto your back as you headed in.

You noticed there were lights on, but you didn’t think much of it until a chipper voice broke the silence.

“Hey!”

You reeled back and almost reached for your gun when you turned to see your petite roommate standing by the sink in the kitchen.

“Oh, God!” you breathed, holding your chest as you tried to slow your heartbeat, “Hey, Luna.”

“Sorry! Did I scare you?” she laughed.

Yeah you scared me, you almost got a bullet to the forehead, you thought.

“Just a little,” you smiled awkwardly, “What are you still doing up…at 4am?”

“Just washing dishes, I couldn’t go to sleep until the kitchen was clean, you know me,” she said, “What about you? Late night at the library?” Luna asked, taking in your appearance.

You stretched and yawned for effect, “Yeah, studying with the boys for that history quiz tomorrow, we stayed out longer than expected.”

“Wow you’re so disciplined! You guys are always in the library so late, I know your GPAs have to be amazing.”

You locked the door behind you, and noticed the SUV’s headlights shine through your living room window as they drove away. You stood there for a minute, unsure of where else to take the conversation as Luna continued to wash the dishes.

“Well…I’m going to go to bed now, goodnight,” you said, walking to your room.

“Goodnight! Good luck on your quiz!” she called.

Don’t misunderstand, Luna was an incredibly sweet girl, but at times she was a little…overbearing. She would always ask where you were going or where you had been all night, to which you couldn’t exactly respond with “I just finished ripping a man’s throat out with my bare hands” or “Stop being so damn nosey” without things getting awkward. You didn’t have the chance to interact with normal kids your age growing up in the academy as most of them were adolescents with lengthy records, so sharing a space with her was your first time dealing with a civilian you weren’t killing. Maybe it was normal for people to wash dishes for fun at 4 o’clock in the morning, maybe you were the strange one.

You unpacked your bag and washed off the blood from your kukri in your bathroom sink. If someone had to ask how many souls you had claimed with this knife alone, you would say three dozen, maybe four? The numbers were somewhere in Seokjin’s database, you would have to check one day.  

You hid the knife along with 2 others in your bedroom, 1 in your bathroom, and 2 in your living room and kitchen, including a harpoon from a mission in Cambodia none of you talk about anymore. You liked to have all of your bases covered just in case. Ducking down, you strapped the kukri under your mattress and stuffed one of your many guns in a case in the back of your closet. All of your other weapons were kept in the four boys’ apartment down the street, being the safest place since they didn’t have any random roommates or RA’s to check their space.

Stripping out of your clothes, you dropped the layers that reeked of death and destruction onto the bathroom floor. You let the shower cover you, the way the water enveloped your skin comforting. It was a ritual of sorts, taking a hot shower after every mission with your favorite song playing in the background. It may have seemed silly to some, but it felt like you were washing away your unspeakable sins for the night.

_____________________

A sea full of students shuffled out of the building when 3 o’clock hit.

You were among them, brushing past the crowd of hormonal young adults as you walked to your destination. You didn’t get much sleep last night since your first class was at 8am, but you were used to running on only naps and coffee by now.

As you approached the fountain on the edge of the quad, you could see seven boys standing deep in conversation.

“But how could you just leave us like that?! We were stranded outside for hours until someone came and opened the door!” Jungkook yelled.

“Yeah and I had to write my essay on the lawn!” Taehyung said, crossing his arms as he pouted.

“Why didn’t you just climb the building to get to your room? You’re only on the 3rd floor,” asked Namjoon.

“Because Taehyung locked the window before we left and I didn’t have my glass cutter with me,” Jungkook replied.

“Not my problem,” Seokjin sang, “Oh here she is,” he said when you came into view.

“Finally, been waiting long enough,” Yoongi muttered.

“Oh shut up, like you have anything better to do,” you rolled your eyes, “How were classes?”

“Okay, got an A+ on my honors philosophy essay,” Namjoon said casually as you all walked.

“Wow only an A+? Not an A++ with three gold stars? I’m disappointed, I expected more from the boy genius,” Yoongi said sarcastically, making everyone hold in their snickers.

Namjoon was the squad leader and resident smart guy with an IQ to back it up. He was probably the only one that actually would have made it to college without the academy.  

“Damn, Y/N, have you been doing squats?” Jimin asked. You turned to see him walking behind you, eyes glued to your ass in your leggings, “I knew your body was banging but goodness–”

You stopped in your tracks and back kicked him, making him walk into your foot as it landed square in his gut, “Quit being a perv.”

“–OW!! Feisty, I like it,” he groaned.

“Do you think we’re gonna have to miss class again for our next mission, Joon? I don’t know how many more times I can tell my professors I have a lacrosse game when I’ve never played a day in my life,” Hoseok mused.

While they tried to miss as few classes as possible, sometimes there was no way of avoiding it. They would come up with every excuse in the book, sports events, deaths in the family, illnesses, anything but the truth. The academy would forge notes for professors and usually it would be the end of it, but some needed a lot more convincing.

“I hope not. I only have one more absence left for most of my classes,” Namjoon answered.

“All of my past and future absences are excused now so I’m fine. I handled that situation all by myself, fair and square,” Jimin said proudly.

“‘Fair and square’ my ass, you slept with the Dean of Studies!” Hoseok erupted in disbelief.

Jimin shrugged, “Gotta do what I gotta do.”

“She’s married with two kids!”

“And? She’s hot too, it was worth it,” he moved to stand next to you, putting an arm around your shoulders, “You know you’re always number one in my heart, though, right? Just say the word and I’m all yours.”

Jimin was a professional flirt, charm and seduction his primary weapons of choice. Before the academy, he used to be a part of his city’s biggest street gang, terrorizing youths and anyone else that got in their way. He learned how to lure his targets, wooing girls and boys to get their trust before taking what he wanted. It wasn’t much different than what he did now, except he killed his victims after and got paid for it.

He was approached by academy representatives after one of his many stints at a youth correctional facility. He declined the first two offers, but after the third, and a promise for a better life, he left his gang and joined, going off the map forever.

Even once he was in the academy, things didn’t change much. The girls there were like sitting ducks, and he was in a buffet, taking his pickings as he pleased. While Jimin was used to having every girl he wanted at his fingertips, you were the first to ever tell him no. Now he made it his goal to annoy the hell out of you with sexual innuendos and his promise to “show you a good time”. Relationships between squad members were prohibited, but that didn’t stop Jimin from acting this way. He claimed it was all in fun, but you all knew that if you finally decided to give in to his advances he wouldn’t hesitate to jump at the opportunity.

Though, you had hooked up with one of the boys once during your training years in the academy. A secret none of the others knew about and a truth neither of you two ever spoke of again. Just the thought of Jimin’s face after finding out you had been with someone in the group other than him was almost worth telling the rest.

You neared a fork in the road, and you pushed Jimin’s hand off and began to walk away from the boys.

“Hey! Where are you going?” he asked.

“The gym. Why, you want to come?”

“No we’re going to the caf,” replied Hoseok.

“Well given how you got tackled by that 90 pound woman last night, maybe you should join me,” you said, making everyone burst out laughing.

“I was distracted!” Hoseok claimed.

“Whatever you say, I’ll catch you guys later,” you said as you turned to leave.

“Don’t forget!” Namjoon warned, “We have to do mission review and get our new assignment tonight at our place so don’t be late.”

          You said your goodbyes as you made your way down the sidewalk and into the building. It was a high tech space with all of the newest equipment, three floors with a rock climbing wall and sauna to boot. You hadn’t been in a facility this nice since you left the academy. All of your tuition probably went into building it, but it was easily your favorite place on campus.

After climbing the stairs, you put in your earbuds as you started your time with the straight bar, curling the weight to the beat of the music. You were just getting into your groove when you felt eyes boring into you. Suddenly the neighboring space was occupied. There stood a boy with a baseball cap and a shirt that was too small. Tattoos covered one of his heavily muscled arms, and he leaned on the equipment as he looked you over.

You rolled your eyes.

Not this again.

Every time you came to the gym he would make an appearance, and it didn’t take long before he would approach you. He was one of Jimin’s asshole frat brothers, and just like him he didn’t give up easily.

Any second now he would start talking–

“Hey beautiful,” he said, beginning his normal spiel, “Need me to spot you?”

You ignored him, continuing your set.

“Ah, not much of a talker today I see. It’s cool, I’ll wait.”

He stayed like that for a minute, checking you out as you lifted the weights. After a while it became too much, and you wrapped up early and walked away.

“_______, wait up,” he said as he followed. He grabbed your arm and you turned around, looking between his hand and his face with raised eyebrows. He was clearly unaware of the damage you could do to that hand if you really wanted to, “Can I get your number now?”

You scoffed, “I already told you no the other ten times you asked, what makes you think I’d say yes now, Haneul?”

“Because of my rugged good looks?” he said with a smirk.

“Why don’t you stop skipping leg day and leave me the hell alone, alright?” you snatched your arm back and walked away.

Haneul would be lying if he said that didn’t sting, “That’s cool! I can always get it from Jimin. See you later, beautiful!”

You went into the nearest locker room and called the boy in question. He picked up on the first ring.

“What’s up, baby? Calling to finally take me up on that offer? You know I can give you the workout you need,” Jimin said suggestively as he ate. You could clearly hear Hoseok screaming in the background, or maybe he was laughing, it was always hard to tell.

“If you give my number to your meathead frat brother I’m going to kill you.”

“First of all, I’m pretty sure murdering me would be against squad code. And second…which one?”

“Haneul!” you whispered, trying to keep it down as people came in and out.

“Oh, him? He’s harmless,” Jimin insisted. He paused, seconds later breaking into laughter, “I literally just got a text from him asking for it.”

“Don’t.”

“What’s in it for me?” he asked.

“Being able to live.”

“You’re so mean to me sometimes, you know that?” he said, “But fine, I’ve got you.”

“Thanks,” you sighed, “Are all frat boys this thirsty?” 

You could hear the shrug in his voice, “It’s just the culture.”

You hung up, leaning against the lockers in exasperation. Moments like these made you wonder how you even tolerated these boys.

Preview Next

[punkscowardschampions]

Rio & Indie

Rio: 🎂🎁🎊 Rio: Your Birthday present is here! Rio: And no, it isn't just me with a 🎀 Indie: 💖💖💖💖💖 Rio: Withhold your blatant disappointment on that score and get your glad rags on, baby girl! Rio: I got it sorted for you at XS, whoever you show up with tonight, gonna look the other way when it comes to ID Indie: wicked idea and im mad grateful but and watched you dont get vexed but im gonna have to dash on that Indie: private party happening, innit Rio: Awh 😞 I really can't convince you??? Rio: Who got in there before me and with a better offer Rio: AND HOW Rio: I must know! Indie: nah can't bail on this Indie: rudeboy would never handle it Rio: I know the feeling Rio: so gutted 💔 Rio: won't be right, when'd my baby get so grown? Indie: ive kept him hanging long til the date cos hes got years on me Indie: girl i always been grown Indie: this just a formality like Rio: umm how many years we talking here Indie: idk what am i the feds Indie: jam its chill Rio: yeah bitch it won't be chill when the actual show up Rio: the jailbait nickname ain't meant to be more than that Rio: he's like what, my age, then??? Indie: allow it Indie: you gotta have trust Rio: on no info Rio: i weren't born yesterday Rio: or 15 years ago even Rio: where'd you meet then? name? anything? Indie: you don't need to use me to prove your perv radar still works after the recent blip Rio: alright, fair Rio: but how sneaky you're being says it all so Rio: don't do anything stupid, yeah? Indie: cos i dont want you all in my birthday business Indie: I'm not a kid I can handle my own Rio: Clearly not, if you're meeting up with some random creep Rio: I'm not trying to be all up on you if that's not what you want but I can still see you have a good time with or without Rio: and at the very least, make sure you're safe, standard Indie: weird flex when you want someone to roll with or to score for you Indie: not a kid then innit Indie: and you aren't my ma so stop being extra Rio: Don't be a dick Rio: as if I've ever used you Indie: you and your fam striking at me first Rio: what? Indie: give me air im just shook for my celebrations Rio: don't go Rio: come to the club Rio: i won't even be there Indie: nah i gotta Indie: it'll be off the hook when i get there like Rio: cool Rio: keep me posted, yeah? Indie: when i dont get owned i'll send you an i told you so Indie: 😂 Rio: Cheeky bitch Rio: Just tryna look at for you, smalls Indie: but i didn't ask so you can't tell Indie: dems the rules Rio: I don't have to play by the rules, honey Rio: 🤷 Indie: ✌ Rio: [Later] Rio: Give me one good reason I shouldn't come over there right now and beat his ass back into last century where he came from Indie: me Indie: if you wanna beef with me come through Rio: THIS IS ILLEGAL INDIE Rio: even if it weren't, it's so fucking sketchy Rio: if he's happy to go out WITH A CHILD, who knows what else sick shit he's happy to do Rio: you need to leave now Indie: you a fed now? didnt realise we had a new jakes in the ends Indie: he thinks im 18 so you need to chill and let me get paid Rio: Yeah, sure he does Rio: You don't look it so I'm about as fooled by him as he is you Rio: This is serious Rio: If you want money, I'll give you it, fuck this shit Indie: it's no big thing Indie: we aren't gonna mash its just dinner and drinks Indie: stay out of my way on this Rio: are you mad Rio: who am i suddenly that you think that's even an option Indie: who am i that you think i need to sos you Rio: you never ask for help Rio: but you don't need to for it to be there or be warranted Rio: i'm serious, you don't wanna get in shit for this Rio: you'll be lucky if you've not been clocked by staff and they've got the garda on the way Rio: if they think you're doing more than you are, you're fucked Rio: just leave, please Indie: i'll go cos ive slipped with this posh nosh and am marvin still not cos everythings on top Rio: you swear Rio: 'cos you know I'll come through Indie: im out Indie: stay where you're at Rio: alright Rio: fucking hell girl Indie: don't let it kill your vibe Rio: i'm not bothered about that Rio: what was yours going out like that, like? Indie: 🤑🤑 Rio: of all the ways though, babe Rio: i'd put it behind the bar, like, you woulda been sorted, not that crap at gifts Indie: i dont want yours Rio: why not Rio: it isn't an IOU Indie: cos im trying to earn my own Rio: Then we work out a way that doesn't involve underage sex work Indie: shut up Rio: Come on then babe, sort it out Indie: don't babe or ma me Rio: You acting it, you gonna get it 👶🍼 Indie: in this case never better than too late Indie: leave me out of your guilty parenting Rio: Never Indie: have a word with just yourself then Indie: im out of here too Rio: Catch you later tomorrow Indie: dont know where im be Indie: text me first Rio: will do

[powertobehandsome]

The Way I See It || Matt and Seth

Part one of many. I love this game; everything is so happy in the beginning. || @blindlyburning 

“I think I chipped a tooth,” Seth looked at the weary and battered Ryan to his left as Ryan leaned against the filthy jail cell wall. The party, whatever party they’d been dragged to, had ended roughly four hours ago, and they were both on the steep decline intoxication. And this night? Sobriety was more of a bitch than that asshole’s girlfriend. Or had it been his sister? Seth couldn’t remember now. All he knew was as he ran his tongue along the upper teeth on the right side of his face, one felt a little more jagged than he ever remembered it being.

“Excuse me, sir? Look, I’m sure you have more important guys to deal with. My father is a public defender. And I have a spotless record. So, if you’d be so kind as to just let us go home. I need to go to a dentist. I’m tired. And, honestly, this place smells a little too much like urine for me to be interested in lingering within this cage.”

As the police officer stalked forward, Seth couldn’t believe his luck. It was actually working.

“You, blondie, come with me.”

Ryan stood, frowning, and moved hesitantly toward the police officer.

“I’m tired of listening to your friend talk, so I’m separating you.”

“If you think being alone will get him to be quiet…” Ryan started, but was cut off soon after.

“You don’t understand who it is you two messed with. You’ll be here for a while. And we have all the charges to lock you up. Drunk and disorderly. Public intoxication. Assault. And your friend? Well, let’s just say assaulting a police officer is certainly not going to work in his favor. Now. Both of you need to just shut your mouths.”

“Excuse me!” Seth called out, his face resting between the bars before he realized how much that might be a bad idea. “Hi. But when do I get a phone call to a lawyer?”

"Kid, you got any idea where you are?" Another cop asked, walking up. "What do you think this is, California? Shut it."

“No. No, but listen. I at least know I have the right to an attorney. And sure, my dad isn’t here to come to my rescue and bail me out today, but that doesn’t mean I can’t pay.”

“Seth. Shut up,” Ryan called from his own cell, begging his brother to please, please stop talking before these cops thought he was trying to bribe them.

Seth moved back to the far wall, slid down until he sat roughly on the bench, and then in one movement, laid across the cold, unsterile metal. “I hate New York.”

It wasn't until about five in the morning that a couple of lawyers showed up. Both men were young and in unfortunately cheap suits, but they wore them well, without any shame. They talked with the cops for a while before coming down to the cells.

"Pretty sure these guys won't be able to pay," Foggy murmured, leading Matt down. "They never can."

"And one of the guys they got in a fight with has connections that can get them killed in here."

"You actually hate me, don't you?"

"Only sometimes." Matt smiled and shook his head.

"Okay. We're looking for uh. Ryan... Seacrest? Reynolds? Whatever. And Seth Cohen. Any takers?" Foggy looked around at the sleepy, irritable cell occupants on the hall, feeling a certain kinship.

 "Atwood," Ryan's called in a too unamused voice. "Seth, wake up. Our layers are here."

"Huh? Dad? That was a quick..." when his blurry vision cleared enough that he could see that these men definitely weren't his father, and he definitely wasn't in California, Seth groaned, cursing the headache gods. But this felt worse than typical hangovers. He hurt in his ribs. Every time he looked to the left, his head throbbed in that temple. And the memories of what had landed him in this cell were a blur.

"Yes, hello. I... I am Ryan At... no. He is Ryan Atwood. I'm Seth Cohen. How can we help you gentlemen?"

Ryan's face was buried in his palms, and he shook his head. "What he means is, can you at least get us out of here tonight?"

"You mean this morning?" Foggy asked, going over to Ryan's cell. "Probably. We're awesome like that. As long as you consent to hire us? By the way, anyone ever tell you that you look a heck of a lot like a really young Jim Gordon?"

As for Matt, he stepped closer to Seth's cell, expression turning to one of concern. "You okay, Seth?" He asked softly.

"Yeah. I haven't been in a fight since I first met him," he nodded in the direction of the other cell and then groaned at the movement. "And the cops in this city are dicks who have to hate their jobs. Can you get us out of here? The smell is making me nauseous."

Not that they had anywhere to go. They hadn't gotten a hotel. And the guys who'd kicked their asses had also been swell enough to loot their wallets while they were on the ground, throwing them back at them with nothing but their IDs and for Seth, a membership card to his local (i.e. his) comic book store. 

Ryan looked up at Foggy with a certain amount of distrust. "A young who?"

Seth rolled his eyes. "He's been told that. I've told him that. He refuses to even look up who I'm talking about."

"Right. So. Can you get us out? Will you? So we can find a hotel or something?"

"Just hang tight," Foggy said. "I'll go get someone." He wandered away to find a cop.

Meanwhile, Matt was still focused on Seth. "How badly are you hurt?" He asked. "And where are your injuries? You'll have to forgive me, I can't see them." Although he had his dark red sunglasses on, he didn't have his cane with him and knew that his blindness might not be abundantly clear.

Ryan nodded in response, never having been one for a lot of words. This was typical, but they'd get through this. Seth was pretty beat up, he'd taken the brunt of the abuse, the rest thinking it hilarious to hold Ryan off and make him watch, calling them "Cali Queers". Which. Whatever. They were. But they also weren't together anymore. So what did that matter?

"Wh-- oh. Oh. Yeah. It's really..." Seth sat up and suppressed a grunt. He didn't think any ribs were cracked. But there would be some definite bruising there. He lifted an arm over his head and made a face. Nope. One was definitely cracked. It must have been those last few kicks. "It's really nothing," he said on an exhale. He looked like shit. Cheekbone was cut, as well as the brow just at the end. His eye was trying to close from swelling. And his lip was busted. There was a deep bruise across his forearm. But that last one had been thanks to a cop and her baton. "So why are you helping us?"

"Because we're a fairly new firm with next to no clients is what Foggy would tell you -- and because you need help is what I'd say." Foggy came back with a cop then and they took the two men to a private room. Once there, they were left alone.

"Okay, we need to know what happened..." Foggy hesitated at glanced over at Matt. "But my partner wants to know about your injuries first, Mr. Cohen."

"Do you feel nauseated or dizzy?" Matt asked. "And can I have permission to touch your abdomen? I want to make sure you don't have any internal bleeding."

"Don't creep him out, Matt. But he has good hands, Seth. He's not a doctor or anything, but he's freaky accurate."

“That’s… a little much? Don’t you think? For an attorney? To be like… assessing my injuries? I told you I was okay.” Though even as he said it, he spoke like a man who had a fat lip.

“It’s no stranger than your dad bringing me home.”

“Please, Ryan. That was in California. This is New York. It’s a whole new ball game out here.”

“Sports reference? I’m kind of proud.”

“Yeah, well. Some part of you had to rub off on me over the years. And since I look terrible in a wife beater…”

“Seth, just let the man examine your injuries so we can get out of here and then go back home.”

“Fine. He can take a look.”

“SETH.”

“You know what I mean. Sorry. He can examine them.”

"In the meantime..." Foggy looked at Ryan. "Tell us what happened?"

Matt quietly and carefully started running his fingers over Seth's abdomen, seeking the signs of internal bleeding -- heat where there shouldn’t be any, bunching muscles, the feeling of something hard inside, like pebbles or rocks or even eggs. He'd have to check his head out after that, although heads were a little trickier.. either way, he thought, this kid might well need to go to the hospital. 

Seth winced as he was touched, but otherwise tried not to make a sound. The man’s fingers were chilly and though he was gentle, every little movement hurt, let alone any touch from prodding fingers. But at least he seemed to be conscious of the need to be careful. For the most part, it felt more like he was just brushing fingertips over his skin — touches which gave Seth a brief wash of goosebumps.

“There was a girl. And her boyfriend.”

“Dude, I think it was just her brother.”

“Okay, there was a guy and a girl. And Seth and I were both… pretty drunk. And Seth has a tendency of thinking he’s invincible when he’s drinking. He hit on the girl. The guy told her to back off. Seth tried to casually imply that the guy was a moron and that he needed to back off. The man took him by the shoulder. Seth tried to shove the hand off, then pushed when the guy got in his face. The girl egged it on. I tried to get between them. Three of his friends held me off while he and another kicked the shit out of Seth. Apparently the man was in well with the bartender, probably someone important, considering our luck, because the bartender called the cops on us. Which, of course Seth tried to argue with them. And then when he reached out for one of the cops, trying to be charming or something. I don’t know. She struck his arms with her baton. Right across the backs of his forearms. The other cop claimed he assaulted her, said we both were drunk and disorderly, public intoxication, which… is what happens when you go to a bar, I’ve never understood that charge. And somehow we got charged with assaulting both the woman and her… whoever he was. I don’t know. As we walked by, the guy spit on me, called us Cali Queers, and here we are. Sober. Miserable. And the cops had no interest in taking him in to be checked on.”

“Ryan, I’m fine. It’s just a black eye. Being your friend has given me plenty of those.”

Ryan looked at Foggy with a you-see-what-I-have-to-deal-with glance, rolling his eyes and shrugging. “Any chance we can just get out of here with a minimal fine to pay?”

"If there was a chance, it went out the window when he reached for a cop," Foggy sighed, and rubbed a hand against his face. He'd been warm and happy in bed not all that long ago, but then Matt just had to wake him up with this shit. "Not to mention, one of the guys is an enforcer for a guy named Ramirez. Real upstanding guy on the outside, pretty rotten mob boss on the inside. He's trying to be the new Fisk."

Matt made a quiet sound of derision, then smoothed Seth's shirt down and ran his fingertips even more gently over his skull. "Cop aside," he said, "it sounds more like you were victims than perpetrators." It wasn't their job to judge the way these two conducted themselves; just because they were entitled jackasses was no reason for them to be assaulted. "And you need to be checked over by a professional." He helped Seth sit down, then stepped away and folded his arms. "If we can get you released, they're probably not going to want to drop it right away. They'll want you to stay in the city. Are you prepared to do that?" 

"Matt, try being reassuring." Foggy shook his head and turned to them. "It'll be fine. As long as you guys are willing to cooperate, Nelson and Murdock will have your backs. Right, Matt? This is the part where you agree with me and reassure the clients."

Matt nodded once.

Seth shrugged. “We can stay, sure. And I wasn’t trying to… I wasn’t…” His shoulders slumped, and he stayed standing. One of the kicks had landed to the back of his thigh and the pressure of sitting was uncomfortable. Head dropped, Seth moved to pinch the bridge of his nose, remembered why that was a bad idea, and just sighed. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I was just going to reach out to touch her shoulder or something. Try to reason with her, to give her the full story. It’s… how I connect with people, I guess. It was dumb. New Yorkers don’t like to be touched. I got it now.”

“We’ll stick around as much as we need to. We just want this to go away. And you… I know we’re probably not ideal clients. But we’ll make sure you get paid. Even if we… I mean, if we end up serving some kind of time.

“No. Ryan. We can’t serve time. I’m not prepared to face harden criminals just because I tried to…”

“Because you got drunk and forgot oh hey, you’re not actually that charming.”

“I’m pretty charming. Don’t lie to these nice gentlemen.”

Neither one of them wanted to admit to their attorneys that they didn’t technically know how they were going to find a hotel to stay in. Without credit cards or cash, the chances of any of these places letting them stay with the reassurance of ‘I’ll have the money in the morning. It just has to be wired.’ Was slim. So they bickered and they distracted.

“Right. The charming guy is the one beat to hell. Meanwhile, will you just go to the hospital and at least get your face glued back together?”

“Sure, and show them what insurance card? Or pay with which of my credit cards? Oh that’s right, Ryan. All that has been taken to prove some kind of point.”

Ryan hung his head. “Thank you, guys, for your help. We will follow whatever council you offer. Seth will stop being a pain in the ass sometime after he’s slept a little and given a pain pill. Then he’ll want to be your best friend and tell you stories of his favorite superheroes. He’s a bit of a fanboy.”

"Worst case scenario, you can stay with me," Matt started. 

Before he could go any farther though, Foggy held his hand up and dragged Matt aside. "Matt, no. You're not letting strangers in."

"They're not strangers. They're clients. And you heard them. Their things were taken. They're tourists. He was bashed. Where are they supposed to go?"

Foggy could sense the rage just under the surface, under Matt's calm voice. "Maybe they have friends here."

"If they don't, I'm not putting them on the goddamn street."

"Matt, what if they rob you? Or worse?"

Matt shook his head at Foggy and came back over. "If you have nowhere else to go, you'll stay with me. We're taking you to the hospital first. You'll receive emergency assessments without being charged right away. This kind of thing happens. Right now, I'm going to go get you out. In the meantime, go over the details with Foggy again. Every detail. Everything."

"You good to get back out, man?"

Matt snorted at the gentle teasing, which helped knock his anger down a bit, then turned and left.

It took almost two hours before anything happened after that. An officer drove them to the hospital and their assessments were done. Matt stayed near, protective, and let Foggy handle the administrative details this time.

After that? They were turned loose, once the boys received the all-clear, and Matt took them home, against Foggy's better judgment. Foggy was too tired to argue by that point though, and by the time they got there it was almost noon. He left them and went to the office, but warned Matt to be careful.

"You guys can take the bed if you need to sleep," Matt said, going into the kitchen. He poured them both some water and set the glasses out. "Or if you're hungry... I can make something. Just -- try not to be too stressed. You'll be okay."

Ryan, for the most part, kept quiet through the whole ordeal. He spoke when he had to, but mostly his comments were a series of shrugs and glances that spoke more than any string of sentences could do for him. He followed along as Seth was ushered between doctors. He made a call to Sandy to let him know what had happened, and to ask for some money transferred to them to at least be able to pay for these attorneys. He’d assured Sandy that there was no need to come down himself. That he was certain these guys would do just fine. They seemed competent enough.

When they got back to Matt’s place, Ryan nodded and instead of taking a bed, he stretched out across the couch and he was asleep in less than fifteen minutes. 

Seth, meanwhile, was high on pain killers, and while they should have made him sleepy, he was instead a little hyper and starving. But he’d imposed enough on Matt, or so Ryan had informed him… he thought. Did they actually have that conversation?

“You don’t have to cook for us.” Seth looked back at Ryan. “For me. Do you have crackers? I can snack on a box of them.” His face itched where the glue had been applied. A tube had been stuck in his chest to drain some of the blood, and that spot had stitches now, which were bandaged. And the oxycodone was the strongest they could prescribe. Sandy had had to come to the rescue by paying over the phone. Thank god Seth had a license, or he would have never been allowed to pick them up.

“So… I’m sure I’ll ask you this again. Or maybe I already have. But are you Murdock or Nelson. And what is it about attorneys that make them give up too much for their clients?”

"Murdock," he said. "Matt Murdock. My partner is Foggy Nelson. And I guess... it's just the right thing to do. A lot of the time, when someone needs an advocate, they need more than -- just someone to fight their legal battles. You've been through something that... for most people, it can be pretty traumatic. It's just.. not human, not decent, to -- ignore the person behind the victim."

Matt made up a bowl of crackers and some sliced cheese for him, then brought it over and handed it to Seth. He listened to Ryan for a moment, then walked into the bedroom and came back out with a blanket, which he draped over the sleeping guy before he came back over to join Seth. 

Seth ate happily, smiling, the expression scrunching his face just enough that he could not see at all out of his right eye.

“How did you… Your touches were nice… I mean they were soft, careful. And you… How did you know how bad off I was just by brushing your fingertips over…” Seth stuffed his mouth with crackers and cheese just to keep quiet for a while. He smiled awkwardly, and then realized that his smile wasn’t seen. “I’m really sorry in advance if I get awkward or weird or if I talk so much I find a way to make you uncomfortable. I know I’ll crash before long. Potentially right in my food, which is why I didn’t ask for a bowl of cereal. But I do appreciate your help. You have a good heart. And, I appreciate you deeming your partner’s concerns about us as unfounded. We’re not… I’m… I’ve never been in trouble before.”

Matt smiled and shook his head, then went and took his jacket off. Coming back over, he said, "My dad was a boxer. He got hurt -- all the time. I guess my hands just.. got used to feeling injuries from a pretty early age. A little extra tension, rigidity, heat.. it's -- sort of like reading braille, just a lot more important, because people are important."

“A boxer? That’s really interesting, actually. Ryan dabbled in the caged, bare knuckle illegal kind of boxing just after our last year of high school. An old girlfriend of his died in a car accident. So… Anyway. My point was me saying that I’ve never met a boxer before. OR a professional fighter of any kind. I’m kind of… I read more than anything, I suppose. Which is why I got my ass handed to me last night. I’m going to pull the cliche criminal line and say we’re really not bad guys. I don’t drink that much. And, if it’s any consolation, I likely won’t drink again for a very very long time.” He sighed heavily. “Right. So. Gritty details. You’re an attorney who had a boxer dad. You went into business with your best friend. I’m Seth Cohen. I am a bit of a nerd with no athletic ability. And, it seems, I owe you more than just money. You’re a nice man, Matt Nelson.” Seth smiled at himself for remembering the right name. Wait. No. “Murdock. I’m a dick. God, these pills are the worst. You wanna just… hit me over the head so I pass out. Or turn on the… Right… You wouldn’t have a television. I’m gonna stop talking now. Hopefully.”

"How about," Matt suggested, "I help you over to bed and you get some sleep somewhere that you can't hurt yourself?"

“I shouldn’t take your bed from you. You’ve been up all night like we have. And you didn’t even get the really good numbing shit like I did while they stuck a tube in my chest. You sleep. I’ll stretch on the floor. It’ll be fine.”

"Right. Come on." He helped Seth to the bed anyway, tucked him in, then went and picked Ryan up and carried him over. He tucked Ryan in as well, then slid the panel door most of the way shut before going and taking up Ryan's still-warm place on the couch. In just a few minutes, Matt was out.

Seth had sat up when Matt brought Ryan in, impressed with how easily he’d managed it. Ryan wasn’t that light. Seth knew. But he collapsed back, groaned, and then stared at the ceiling until he crashed. 

When Seth woke again, his bladder was full. He struggled to sit up, leaving himself breathless when he’d finally managed. Ryan was still sleeping, snoring lightly, and completely oblivious as Seth moved from the bed, shuffling in socked feet until he found the bathroom. When he made it back out, Ryan had stretched an arm and a leg across the bed. It would be easy for Seth to push him back over, but it was easier to grab the top blanket and move to go back to sleep in the living room floor.

Matt was already awake again, exercising. He was shirtless, in sweatpants, shadowboxing and framed by the light coming in from a light-up billboard across the street. Matt had been making an effort to be quiet, but when Seth came out, he turned towards him.

"Sorry if I woke you... how are you doing?" Quickly, hoping to cover up his scars, Matt pulled his t-shirt on.

Seth’s gaze drifted over the moving form, but he didn’t comment on the scars. It seemed inappropriate. “You didn’t wake me, my bladder did. And Ryan… has never been good about sharing a bed. Do we… I mean…” He reached for the bottle of pills sitting on the counter. “How do we start working on this? What do you need me to do?”

"Foggy and I have been working on it over the phone. For now, we just need to wait. He's taken down the photographs of your injuries and treatments that we got at the hospital, using them to argue that you were the victim. If they won't throw it out -- which they probably won't, but there's still a shot -- we'll go from there. Tonight, all you need to do is rest. Tomorrow... we'll have more information and go from there.

"How do you feel?" 

"Like I've been hit by a truck. My side hurts. My face hurts. And it's probably a good thing you're. I mean. I'm usually much prettier to look at. Not that... you would be looking. Of course." Seth groaned and poured water from the faucet into a glass. He tossed his head back to take the pills, and groaned again. He stuttered a step, and balanced himself against the counter. "Fuck. I'm not sure I like New York."

Matt smiled and shook his head. "Sometimes, I feel the same way. But Hell's Kitchen is home." He folded his arms and walked over to lean opposite Seth, on the island. 

"How long were you originally planning to stay here?"

"A week or so." The palms of his hands were pressed against the counter while his hips pushed away, his head hanging between his arms. The room was spinning and Seth felt a little nauseous. But he'd handle it.

"I'll have to call my bank at some point and tell them my card was taken. And my singular credit card. My cash... whatever. So tell me about this guy? And who the hell is Fisk? Some crime lord?"

"He was. Not anymore -- as far as I know. But people have been...rushing to take his place." Matt shrugged, then listened to Seth's body for a moment. "Maybe you should sit down. Here, let me help you over?" He offered Seth his arm.

Maybe he took it at first because it made him feel taken care of. Maybe because he liked the irony of the literal blind leading the half blind.

"You're more observant than I would have given you credit for. And that's a compliment. Because my dad never misses a damn thing." Seth watched Matt for a long minute. Then decided to let it go as he held his breath to prepare for his shift down to the couch. "And I hit on the sister-girlfriend of one of the wannabes?"

"I think so." He helped him get comfortable. "Which is why I've got to warn you that -- things might get ugly. Violent, ugly. This.. isn't the most forgiving place. But we'll get you through it, no matter what. Running away isn't an option."

"Well, if you aren't mister sunshine..." Seth stayed at the end in case Matt wanted to sit, and then his eyes rested on the bare windows. "She wasn't even that pretty. And I'm not... I mean I haven't tried to hook up with a girl since high school. Or early college, I suppose." Seth sighed. "IDK."

"IDK?" Matt sounded confused. 

"Yeah. IDK. It stands for I don't know. It's... well, it's text talk, but so is BFF and ILY. I'm just shy of being a millennial. Using full sentences can cost you valuable seconds."

"Oh.. huh. Alright then. Um. Tee why." Matt settled in on the other end of the couch.

Seth laughed, groaned, held his side, and looked over. His gaze was only diverted when Ryan sucked in a deep, gurgling, almost choking snore, before audibly rolling over.

"Charming, isn't he?

It seemed Matt wasn't overly ready to share details about the enemy in all this, so maybe Seth could get to know him. "How long have you and Foggy been friends?"

"Just since college. We were dorm-mates.. but we hit it off.. pretty well. He was just so -- normal and charming and good. Becoming best friends just sort of... felt so natural."

"It's good to have that person. Are you..." he continued on in a single breath, looking to Matt again. "Are you sure we're not cramping any plans?"

"Plans?" Matt raised an eyebrow. 

"Yeah. Like other clients. Or going out to the gym. Crime fighting, that kinda thing?"

Matt's jaw dropped and for a moment, everything in his world went silent. 

When he took another breath, he managed to find his voice again. "Uh.. crime... crime fighting? Why did you... why... mention that?"

"It... I... was just rattling off things. Did Ryan not mention my fondness for superheroes? Did I dream that? Why? Are you an undercover cop? Is the blindness a ruse? I already believe you could kick my ass after seeing you box that little bit. It's kinda hot. But that's just me. You're a ninja, aren't you? Man, I always wanted to be one. The slimming black and the stealth. That would be the best."

Oh fuck. Okay. Okay. Seth didn't know. It took Matt another moment to remember what words were.

"No. I. Um. I'm not. A ninja. Or a cop. I'm blind. For real. Ninja are...usually not. I mean. So far as I -- not that I know a lot of them. Uh. So." He cleared his throat. "I guess I should... um. Call... and check in with Foggy."

Seth moved suddenly, gasped at the way such a movement took his breath away with pain. And gripped Matt carefully by the hand. "First off, god save you from ever having to be put on the stand in a trial. Second, your secret is safe with me." He winked, didn't care that it wasn't seen, and then moved back to his spot on the couch. "Is there a grocery store nearby? Or something. I... have no money to get a book. Shit."

"I'll... go get you one... but how... how did you... you know? You -- how -- how?" Seth might be feeling conversational already, but Matt was still flatlining. 

Seth smiled. "Don't spend more money on me. I get less chatty when I'm reading, is all. And I figured you wanted me to be quiet. And just... I don't know.

“It was a joke. And you panicked. 

"But I figure one of two things are true. The first is that you've kept your secret bottled up for too long and you are dying to be able to talk to someone about the truth. Or someone knowing makes you nauseous. In which case I'll totally forget everything. I'm probably just high on pills anyway."

But yesterday his high had been more morphine and a light sedative mixed with the oxycodone which gave him the buzz.

"Either way, you're safe." 

Matt's heart was racing and he shifted uncomfortably on the couch. "How did you... even... no. Sorry. I um. This.. is part of why I wanted you two here.. because if things get bad, I can probably, uh, protect you."

"You are blind. But you're hearing is... fuck are you... no. Batman isn't in New York." He pursed his lips. Thinking. "There are more deserving people to be saved, I'm sure." But Seth wasn't sure that they would have been safe in jail. Or in a hospital. And he imagined there would be a hit out for his or Ryan's names around the city. If this guy was as dangerous as Matt believed.

"Do you wanna talk about it? Do you have a patio, though? Because Ryan has a tendency to sneak up on people like a ninja. You get it."

"No, uh, no patio, but we can go to the roof if you're -- sure you're up for it. But... we probably shouldn't move you too much. When he wakes, I'll know. Trust me. I can uh. I can hear his heart. And breathing. From here." 

Seth was beaming with the little truths. "What else."

"What... um. I. What do you... want to know?" 

"Dude, as much as you'll share. I'm sorry. I know I'm geeking out on you a little, but I'm also kind of just in awe. I didn't know... I mean. You're great."

"I'm not great. I'm just... they call me the Devil of Hell's Kitchen. But I'm just a vigilante, just -- I want people safe. That's... that's it." Matt sounded embarrassed. 

Seth reeled his comments in, but his eyes were wide. He'd heard of the Devil. Argued with his Dad for an hour about why he was, in fact, a hero, just a couple months ago. Fuck. 

Fuck.

"Does your partner know?"

"Yeah. He... it wasn't pretty. When he found out. We fought.. but he's accepting it. Slowly, but... it means a lot that he's, you know, he's trying."

"Sure. Listen, do you want me to stop asking? Because I will." Or he'd at least try. "But man. If you're going to be a... a hero. You've gotta get better at lying."

Matt hesitated, then shook his head. "No, you uh, you don't have to stop. And... you're... probably right. I.. I'll find a way to..work on that.."

"Start with your assertiveness. I know you can do it. I think I heard you be that way with Foggy last night. Or I dreamed it. Who knows. But if someone says 'crime fighter' or 'super hero' or 'vigilante' or even 'ninja' your immediate reaction should be to scoff. Always assume people are joking. And even if they aren't joking, they'll think that you think what they said is so preposterous, that it can't be true."

Matt nodded, but he stayed quiet. Thank God Seth understood, and thank God he was willing to keep his secret -- and to help him keep it, for that matter. 

"Thank you. I know you're a vigilante, and you keep to the shadows and keep anonymous for a reason. But you took us in. And you save people's lives. And whether you like it or not, you deserve to be thanked. At fucking least once."

Matt still couldn't talk. He hunched over a little, arms wrapped over his chest. He didn't even know what he was thinking or feeling, he didn't know how to react. On some level he was grateful that this had happened with Seth. He had to learn to scoff it all away, Seth was right, but still...

Fuck.

"I'm... Maybe I should go get me more water." He could sense the tension, and didn’t want to make it worse. But a trip up to a balcony? There was no way Seth could manage stairs today. He already had a limp, and the slightest extension on his left side left his ribs screaming. So, water and apparently freaking this guy out by accidentally guessing right -- that was today's game plan. 

"Stay. I'll get it." He took Seth's glass and patted his knee once, extremely gently, then got up. "Is Ryan... would you trust him with -- this?" 

"I could trust him with it. He's incredibly loyal. But. It is not my secret to tell."

Okay, honestly, Seth was shit at keeping secrets. But he would. He would do this. After all, how often did he get the chance to know a secret identity? 

"Speaking of. I'm impressed he's still asleep. He must have not slept on the flight over."

Matt didn't like the idea of asking someone to lie to their best friend, but for now he kept quiet on it. After getting Seth more water, he went back to the kitchen to start making some breakfast for all of them.

"It sounds like he's coming out of it... slowly. Do you guys eat pancakes in California?"

"Do we ever. Pancakes are a life source." Though he hurt, he didn't know how to stay still when he was this excited. So he carefully worked to stand up -- the couch kinda swallowed you -- and then walked over to the kitchen island, carefully sitting on a stool.

"Can I help?"

"The company is nice," Matt replied as he got started. "Just... talking, it's nice. I like your voice."

Seth blushed and looked down. "This old thing?" He chuckled and smiled wide enough that his dimples showed. 

I like your arms...

"So what do you do when you're not being an attorney or sleeping or being a ninja?"

"Eat. Shower. Exercise. Sometimes go drinking with Foggy. And... that's... about it. Which... pretty boring, I know. What about you? Tell me about yourself?"

And so Seth did. He told Matt a little about his parents and what they did. He talked about his hometown and the jocks who beat him up and peed in his shoes. He talked about Ryan's arrival, about Marissa and Summer. And then talked about where he was now. No solid job -- just doing art concepts of.... super heroes, and selling them. He wrote stories, offered commissions where he could turn people into super heroes and give them their own, single issue, story with graphics included. Seth talked about sailing, and how he'd sailed to Oregon once when Ryan had left to go back home for a summer because of a baby scare. And how he still wanted to sail to Tahiti on his little boat. He talked about life in general. How Ryan had just parted ways with his off-again girlfriend Taylor who talked too much and was a bit obsessed with being the center of attention. And his parents again, their move to Berkeley. Seth talked until breakfast was ready. 

Ryan, lead by his nose, dragged out of the bedroom, rubbing an eye. "I thought I heard the endless white noise of Seth's life story. Did I sleep walk?"

"Do you usually?" Matt asked. He served up breakfast for all of them. "And I don't know what you mean, Seth hasn't said a word all night..." he smiled, and for a moment, it was the warmest and the happiest Matt had ever looked. 

Seth's returned smile was full of adoration and Ryan rolled his eyes as he caught sight of it. "No... N-Not that I know of. But I thought I fell asleep on the couch."

Seth beamed, pointed to Matt, and half-whispered "He's strong," as if that explained everything.

It didn't. 

"You did," Matt said. "But I'm a secret ninja and I carried you to the bed. It's more comfortable."

Ryan laughed, scoffed, almost, as if the idea of a secret ninja was a bit absurd. It wasn't an insulting sound, just as if he were responding to a joke Matt was telling. 

It was the exact sound Seth had been trying to explain to Matt earlier. 

"So," Seth said, looking back at Matt, allowing himself to look for a moment with a soft, appreciative gaze. "Thank you for breakfast. You've been a very gracious host. Let alone a defense attorney.”

"You're welcome for breakfast," Matt answered, although he also blushed a little and, now that Ryan was up, went to get his glasses. "So how are you feeling, Ryan?" He sat on the couch, giving them the kitchen space to themselves, and thinking about the lesson Seth had just given him and that Ryan had unknowingly finished.

 Seth ate in near silence while Ryan shrugged, clearly not thinking twice about the joke Matt had delivered, figuring the man had just already spent too much time with Seth.

"Well enough. I'm a little sore from the few punches they delivered. But it's nothing." He gestured at Seth. "I look a hell of a lot better than this kid with his black and busted up eye and cheek. It's a shame. You used to be so handsome. Now who's gonna love you."

"My mother will always love me. Dick. But you're right. I look like Quasimodo."

"Here's hoping you fare better than he did." Matt smiled again.

"Ha!" Seth pointed again at Matt and looked at Ryan, and the latter knew that there was some kind of infatuation on Seth's part. Which could only stand to complicate things. Especially because this guy didn't exactly read as being one who was open to dating males.

"Any word on the case?"

"No." Matt shook his head and told him what he'd told Seth. After, he said, "I'll have to abandon you two tomorrow during the day to go work on it, unless you want to come to the office. We won't hear anything until after ten -- but from there, we'll know the next step."

"Take your clients to work day. Your office sounds swell."

"I'm gonna stick around here and make some calls. All the banks are closed today, obviously. So I'll make calls about canceling cards and having money transferred and hopefully getting us a hotel tomorrow. That way, maybe, we can get out of your hair." Ryan wiped syrup from his lip as he finally looked at Seth. "How are you feeling?"

Seth pouted. He didn't want to go. But he told Ryan what he wanted to know. It was easier to humor him. 

Ryan casually ignored the look of pleading.  They couldn't stay.

"You know, you're safer here than at a hotel," Matt said quietly. "I know that may sound... tough to believe, but it's true."

"It's true, Ryan. What if they come looking for us. They have our names."

"Seth, this isn't one of your graphic novels. There aren't evil crime lords who look to destroy people for hitting on a girl."

Seth's brow raised and Ryan faltered.

"Wh-- No. Seth. No. You did not get us mixed up with an evil crime lord."

Seth pursed his lips and shrugged, taking a bite of pancake.

"Damnit, Seth."

"Listen, I know your mad now. But think of how exciting this is."

"We're hiding out in our attorney's apartment. Of course you're excited."

"Adventure, Ryan. We'll be safe here. And we can just pay them a little extra when it comes time to pay our bill. That way we make up for the inconvenience."

Ryan finally looked back at Matt. "You're sure this is okay? We're not putting you in danger, are we?"

[starspatter]

Heroes and Thieves, Ch. 3

Title: Heroes and Thieves Fandom/Universe: BTAS, pre/post-RotJ flashback

Summary: A story about second chances, healing, and having hope.

Rating: PG-13, for references to character death, child psychological torture and trauma.

Genre: Romance/Family/Friendship/Hurt/Comfort

Word Count: 3,853 Previous Chapters: 1, 2

Also on ff.net and AO3.

One, two boys by the river Down by the water tellin' riddles in the dark With fireflies under the moonlight Carvin' the insides of a tree with a knife You ever hear the one about the boy's big sister His best friend come along He tried to kiss her

-The Wallflowers, "The Difference"

Now.

Dick rolled over in bed as his cell’s ringtone blared loudly, glaring and groping for the obscene noisemaker. Checking the time, he squinted blearily as he noted the Caller ID, unsurprised by the label listed.  Though he briefly considered the option of ignoring, he was conditioned to respond to every evening page as if it were an emergency (and, considering the extending party’s “extenuating circumstances”, it could very well be something important; he’d never forgive himself for not being there a second time when his younger sibling needed him).  In fact he was rather used to being awoken at odd hours by now – or sometimes the other way around – even if he’d also since ceased his other “nighttime activity”.  …Still, old habits tend to die hard.

He flipped open the phone and greeted groggily, speech slurred somewhat.

“Hey, bro.  Whassup?”

His hearing was immediately hailed by a jumble of words, tumbling from the receiver like a drunken tirade (which, in his heavily inebriated state, didn’t help the matter of his own increasing headache).

“Whoa, whoa, slow down. What’s this about you and Steph?”

A curved shape stirred under the comforter next to him, wrapping naked appendages around his shoulders. He could feel an ample pair of voluptuous volumes pressing against his back, alcohol and cherry-scented lips nibbling sensually against the scruff of his neck.  Feminine fingertips concurrently tracing contours of collagen craters over hardened hide – gradually fading but forever permanent – circular scars pockmarking his skin.  Within. Teasing broad blades and spine (where a bullet remained lodged, buried evidence of a decisive battle that felt so long ago – but still stung like yesterday).  A cloying query purred, sickeningly saccharine:

“Who ya talking to?”

“Hold on,” Dick murmured into the speaker as he gripped the hand spider-crawling light across his chest, slowly snaking down to his waist.  Gently but firmly, he pushed the owner off, sliding to a stiff sit on the edge of the mattress.  Balancing the phone in a semi-awkward position (which most people who weren’t as flexible would probably find pretty difficult to maintain, even if his own elasticity was halved compared to before), he hurriedly pulled on his pants and rose, staggering to the door.

“Sorry babe, I gotta take this.”

“Mm, hurry back, hot stuff~”

Swaying slightly, he lumbered out into the hall and down the stairs from the loft, making sure to put a secure measure between himself and the bedroom.  (Though navigating around the familiar furniture and gym equipment was a fairly easy task, he had to be extra careful descending the last step, as even without the spirits in his system, he was still getting used to the whole “reduced depth perception” thing.)  Once he was sure he was out of eavesdropper’s range, he resumed the call.

“Back.  Sorry ‘bout that.”

“Were you… with someone just now?”

“Maybe.”

“I wasn’t interrupting anything, was I?”

“S’fine.”

“Sounded like a girl.”

“Jus’ some lady I met at a bar last night.  …Come to think of it, I don’t think I got her name.”

He could virtually hear the shaking head on the other end, more than mildly exasperated.

“Unbelievable.”

“Hey, last I checked, having a healthy sex life isn’t a crime.”

“And you’re totally not overcompensating for a lack of the latter in your life.”

“Look, are we gonna talk about my issues with women or yours?”

“…”

More soberly, he asked:

“Do you need me to go over there?”

“No.”

“Then talk to me, Tim.  What happened.”

The silence was stark as opposed to the initial outpouring.  Dick lowered his tone, softening to a hush.  Tentatively, he prompted again via the one clear bit of info he had caught from the earlier conversation before it was cut off.

“You said she’s the Spoiler.”

Just to be safe, he cupped his palm to contain the whisper.  Again, old habit.

“I… confronted her about it.  Tried to get her to stop.  And I- I ended up telling her.  About us.”

“How much?”

“Enough.”

“Tim.”

“Look, I just mentioned the fact that I used to be… you know.  I didn’t say anything about ‘that’.  …I couldn’t.”

“And?  Then what?”

“She kept asking about it…  About why I quit.  I couldn’t tell her the whole truth.  I mean, how could I?  There’s just no way.”

Dick sighed, scraping a hand through his hair.  He could understand where the kid was coming from, sure, but based on personal experience, taking the easy way out had never worked out well in terms of keeping long-term commitments before (at least any of his actual attempts at them).  …Especially when it came to withholding secrets from each other.

“Listen, Tim, if you’re really serious about this girl, then you’re gonna have to make some compromises. Take it from someone who knows, honesty is key to being in a relationship.”

“…Says the guy who takes advantage of his disability by using it as a way to get laid.”

“Hey, what can I say, chicks dig the patch.”  Dick shrugged, eyeballing his half-masked appearance in the window’s reflection.

“You’re incorrigible.”

“I prefer to think of myself as an ‘equal-opportunist’.  …Anyway, like I said, this is about your love life, not mine.  ‘Do as I say, not as I do’ and all that jazz.”

“Except I’m not like you.  I’m not some super pick-up artist, I can’t just go gallivanting around broadcasting my ‘condition’ to the world to garner sympathy.”  The air quotes in the dialogue were distinctly audible.  “It’s not exactly something I can pretend to boast proudly about, unlike your ‘stupid sexy eyepatch’.”

Dick clenched his fist, trying not to get riled by the bitter sarcasm rolling off the other’s barbed tongue. As much as he generally avoided overreaction to insensitivity, it was still a sore subject – especially when the instigator in this case couldn’t contend obliviousness – ignorant bliss – about the actual origin of his wounds (and vice-versa).

“You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Sorry, low blow.  It’s just…  What the hell am I gonna do, Dick?  There has to be some other way to convince her.” A pause, followed by a swallow. “I never wanted her to get involved in any of this.  How can I even break it to her without her wanting to break up with me?”

“Sometimes that’s a risk you have to take if you want to make progress.”

“…It’s too late now anyway.  I already messed up big-time.  We got into a fight afterwards.  Like, an actual fight.  Dick, I… I almost hurt her.”

He sounded scared, like he was about to cry.  Growing concerned, Dick reached for his pocket, fumbling for the keys to his cycle as he tried to remember where he put them after returning home in such a stupor.

“I’m coming to get you.”

Maybe they were still in the ignition, or his jacket.  Crap, he forgot to put on a shirt.  He’d have to go back upstairs for that as well.  And then he’d be forced to explain to the erotic nymph draped over his blankets why he was bailing in the middle of their “date”.  …Just like old times.  It was almost nostalgic.

“No, I’ll…  I’ll handle this.”

“Are you sure?  ‘Cuz I can come pick you up, no prob.”

“Yeah, right.  You’re intoxicated right now, aren’t you?”

“…Okay, you got me.  Frankly it’s a miracle I didn’t get into an accident earlier.  Almost crashed into a pole actually.”  He sank onto a balance beam with a groan, rubbing his brows.  “…I may or may not be seeing spots at the moment.”

“If Barbara knew you were driving drunk around Gotham city she’d have you arrested in a heartbeat.”

“You really gotta bring her up now?”  The furrows of his forehead deepened as Dick frowned.  “Anyway, she’s off-duty today.”

Sharp as a razor, Tim seized smoothly on the discrepancy.

“…How do you know that?”

Dick flinched, grip tightening on the cellular.

“I just do, okay?”

There was a moment of quiet, before Tim’s voice continued.

“Dick.  When’s the last time the two of you spoke?”

Dick heaved a long exhale. Somehow, talking to Tim when he was under influence always seemed to land back on this topic.  Curse whatever was in that mix for making him maudlin.

“What happened between us is our business.  It’s got nothing to do with you.  Besides, it’s ancient history now.  She moved on, and so did I.  These things happen.  You should just focus on maintaining ties with your girlfriend.  …Actually, maybe you should go see her.  Babs, I mean.  She’s closer to you, and she can probably help you out better than I can.”

“…I’m already on my way there.”

“Ah.”  A beat.  “Good.  Let me know how it goes.”

“Yeah.  I’ll talk to you later.”

“…Tim, wait.”  Dick stood up again, feeling frustrated at his own uselessness, restless and remorseful.  He hobbled, wobbling to the wall, leaning with one arm against it for support instead. “I know I haven’t been the greatest role model to you, especially recently.  Hell, it’s practically my fault you wound up this way.  If I hadn’t been so wrapped up in my own affairs, if only I’d looked out for you more…”

“Dick, we’ve been over this.  I don’t hold any of what happened in the past against you.  Like you said, it’s ancient history.  You’re the one who wanted to put an end to the blame game when you got… ‘injured’.  We’re even, remember?”

“I know, but still. Here I am, supposed to be the responsible elder relative, and yet it feels like I’m the one constantly getting lectured.”

“Are you kidding, you’re the best big brother I could’ve asked for.  You’ve always been there for me since then.  I’m grateful for the effort, really.  …Even if I haven’t always acted like it.”  As if embarrassed by his own admission of sentiment, Tim added: “Plus, you’re a perfect example of what not to do when it comes to dealing with angry females.”

“Har har.  Touché.”

Despite the jab, it relieved Dick a little, that Tim was still able to josh like this on occasion.  He’d been doing it more often ever since he met the female in question, actually. Dick had discreetly observed the difference over the past several months, and truth be told he was a mite jealous at times.  Watching those two together reminded him of days spent hanging out with another certain tenacious gal who refused to listen to his warnings, and kept tagging along on various dangerous assignments, impressing him each time with her capabilities…

“I’m joking, but…  I meant what I said earlier.  You didn’t have to stick around Gotham after that whole ‘fake Joker’ fiasco, just to keep an eye on- watch over me, you know.  You’ve got less reason to want to be here than me, what with ‘that guy’ and Barbara both being nearby…  I mean, considering the entire mess that followed the first… ‘incident’, everything that happened between you and her…  For you to move back on my account…  Sometimes I feel like I ruined both your lives, like I’m dragging you all down with me…”

Dick wasn’t about to allow Tim to start wallowing in self-pity again.

“Look, I made the decision on my own.  Those two had nothing to do with it.  I was worried about you, so I stayed.  Simple as that.  …Besides, it’s not like there’s much I can offer Blüdhaven at this point.”

“Yeah well, maybe you should let others worry about you for a change.  I still wish you would’ve let me come with you that time.  …Maybe then at least one of us would still be doing the hero gig.”

“Trust me, it was a long-time coming.  My wake-up call just happened to occur a little later.”

“But-”

“Tim, I appreciate the concern.  But right now you’ve got bigger problems to deal with, don’t you? Listen, you’ve got a good thing going for you.  You should hold onto it, and… Don’t let go, because once you lose that chance…  It’s gone.  Don’t screw it up by making the same mistakes I did.  …Believe me, if any one of us deserves a shot at happiness, it’s you.”

For a minute, his partner remained mute, perhaps debating whether to protest further.  Dick held his breath, prepared to shoot down any deflecting arguments.  Finally though, Tim simply stated:

“I gotta go.  I’m at the door.”

“All right.  …Say hi to Barbara for me.”

“I will.”

“Good luck, Tim.”

“Thanks.”

As he disconnected, Dick’s partial vision lazed, traveling hazily towards a poster on the partition he was propped against.  In its center displayed an image of his junior self in circus garb, surrounded by his smiling mom and dad: The Flying Graysons, in all their erstwhile glory.

He wondered, idly, if his parents would be proud of what their son ultimately turned out to be: a drunken and debauched bachelor, hung over and hung up on muddled memories, making up for current paucity of meaning or purpose with an abundance of casual hook-ups.  A disgrace to the Grayson title, prodigy turned prodigal.  Who went from valiantly saving citizens with a wink and grin (not like he could even pull off the former now) to sleeping around on a whim, “swinging” from clubs at night rather than rooftops – trying in vain to fill some void, a hollow hole left in his heart.  Tim was right; he was just seeking to sate a starved hunger for attention, a voracious need for validation he’d long been denied.  Appetite for affection.  Acknowledgment.  Acceptance.  Substantiate some sort of worth after everything he (thought he) knew was stripped – stolen – from him (literally and metaphorically – in more ways than one), for the sheer sake of sustaining his existence.

Unlike Tim, it wasn’t the first time he’d been betrayed by his ideals.  …Hence all the more reason he’d stormed out in a huff (seemingly for good), thanks to the final straw – or rather bullet – that broke his back (which he’d already been stabbed in once before).  …And yet, no matter how many times he endeavored to completely break away, set sail on his own private path, he kept coming back to the same place, somehow ending up exactly right back where he started.  Desperate for other forms of contact after cutting nearly all ties to “family” and friends (not just within the gloomy house where he grew up, but foregoing second sanctuary, his summer “haven” as well), he found himself drifting aimlessly since then, treading water and clinging to wreckage just to stay afloat, now that so many bridges were burnt beneath his feet.  …Harboring hatred towards ‘that man’ most of all – maybe moreso than Tim.

To keep from sinking in a sea of longing and lingering regret, he quickly discovered a different method to dispel wrath in place of punishing felons (which in turn had progressively become a surrogate for rage-punching a fraud of a foster “father”, whose loathsome face he still sometimes visualized when he sparred in solitude).  Where Tim eventually took to literature as a diversion (even if Dick was unfortunately just as aware of other, more abusive addictions – although those had steadily been improving as well of late), instead he turned exclusively to liquor to escape loneliness, slake an insatiable thirst for vengeance and quench resentment. Quell fury without resorting to fists. (Even if firewater sometimes fueled violent urges further instead of dousing ire.)  Simultaneously satisfying desire for warmth by throwing himself into an endless series of one-night stands, (self-)disgust disguised as lust.  Hate replaced with fervent heat, tangling and tangoing under sweat-stained sheets.  Ravenously ravishing, savoring strangers’ touch.  Relish in passing pleasure.  …Easing exhaustion and envy (over an ex dumped years ago, an old flame gone cold – even though he’d extinguished the last spark himself) through empty embrace.  To console a weary, guilt-ridden soul by trading duty and sacrifice for decadent vice. From Robin to Bluebird to Cardinal sin. Downing his own woeful sorrows and demons by drowning them in sex and tonic and gin.

Granted, most days he managed to uphold a relatively respectable impression, fronting as a well-adjusted and decently functioning member of society despite debilitation (even if his was more physical than psychological).  In contrast to Tim’s total retreat into depression – regression – going through the minimal motions in order to survive, he told himself he needed to be strong – to be the dependable brother he never really was (at least when it counted).  Still, his insecurities merely manifested in different ways, relying on showboating and overindulgence as an invisible crutch.  Resolutely rejecting the rigorous manner (nevermind manor) in which he was sternly brought up and raised – trained to remove empathy out of the equation for the objective of the so-called “mission” – out of staunch determination not to become like him.

…For all his resolve to resist such strict teaching techniques though, even he recognized the suave playboy in the mirror nowadays was as much a persona as his previous mentor’s was.  Hiding hostility and apathy behind an altered ego, a modified mask.  Concealing consciousness over obvious flaws beneath another façade, exuding false confidence.  Even if outwardly he wasn’t as gruff or tough as his former instructor (or rather false “idol”) – certainly nowhere near as mean and demanding in demeanor – underneath the fortified exterior was essentially nothing but a spiteful shell.  His real self had become just as brooding and detached – deflated – suppressing jaded cynicism beneath dry wit and humor.  Honestly, who was he even to give counsel when he could barely claim to be any better at coping with his emotions?

Things changed – were changing – for Tim and for Barbara.  For the better.  …Meanwhile, where did that leave him?  A part of him felt cheated, like he was being left behind – abandoned in the same way he (ironically) once did to them – and it made him afraid.  The truth was he was the only one who stayed the same by declining to let go the past, bearing grudges beyond their prime to the point they festered deep within his rotten gut.  Rancid rancor.  Sour and stagnant, just like…

“God, I really am starting to sound like him.”

He muttered as he realized he was no longer mentally making excuses, but apologizing aloud to his folks’ memorial portrait.  He seriously was smashed.

To distract his buzzed brain, he shifted concentration to a more menial matter.

“Keys, keys…  Where the hell did I leave those damn things.”

“Looking for these?”

He rotated to find his guest poised suggestively against the entry frame, dangling the chain from her digit.  She was wearing his top too, go figure (though her bottom half was still clearly undressed).   She pouted as he approached and made a grab for the brass ring, withdrawing the prize behind her back.

“You weren’t planning on leaving me here and running off, were you?”

Dick hastily put on debonair airs, flashing a signature winsome beam that would make any damsel melt.  He slipped his hands over coyly cocked hips, causing knees to weaken as he drew her in close (subtly stimulating lower regions).

“’Course not.  Why on earth would I want to leave such a gorgeous goddess?”

Duh, I live here.  Where the hell would I even go.

She gave a giddy, high-pitched giggle (almost grating), greedily eating up the compliment as she arched into his grip, linking limbs around his collar.

“Good.  Shall we head back upstairs then?”  She mewed demurely whilst playing with a lock of red as she pawed at his breast, thoroughly admiring the rough ruggedness of solidly well-built muscles, rippling beneath bare pecs. Still sturdy and studly (even if somewhat out of shape compared to past prime’s peak).  “You said you were going to show me your ‘love nest’, and I don’t think I’ve seen nearly enough yet.”

Dick winced inwardly at his own lameness.  Sometimes he couldn’t believe the dumbass phrases that spouted out his own mouth.

She inclined forward to seal said mouth with an intensely intimate kiss, and he let her libido lead him up the stairwell.  (He sensed she was trying to keep considerate of his blind side, insistently guiding to prevent any potential bump or blunder – and wasn’t sure whether to be obliged or offended.)  As they walked, half-wavering, half-waltzing, she inquired curiously again:

“So who was that?”

“Just my little brother.  He needed some advice.  Girl troubles.”

“That’s sweet that you care about him.”

“Yeah.”

Bored of the discussion already, she steered impatiently towards the bedchamber, eagerly shutting the door behind them.  Animalistic hormones raging and roaring, raring to pick up right where they left off; rid any remaining decency by delightedly ripping dress off.

“Now then, where were we?”

Like a stage, she dimmed the lights to arouse an amorous atmosphere.  …And yet, despite the dark ambience and scantily clad, seductive beauty growling, prowling before him like some exotic creature – a primal lioness primed to leap on his loins – he couldn’t bring himself to express quite the same enthusiasm as before.  Mood mismatched to setting or pace.  Mind in alternate place.

Rather, he felt suffocated, trapped inside a stuffy, sultry cage of his own creation (as much as he accused the ringmaster of orchestrating from the start, manipulating and pulling puppet strings for his own selfish benefit).  Grounded avian prey, unable to fly away – waiting to be devoured by some carnivore, a carnal carnival.  Like his own innocence (whatever was left of it) was about to be deflowered.

Because he knew the drill by now.  Relentlessly rehearsed the same routine, practicing – perfecting – perfunctory performance over and over, too many times to keep track of.  They’d share a few wild nights of tender passion, tearing through clothes and covers and countless condom wrappers with reckless abandon.  (For all the uncomfortable scoldings his allegedly appointed legal “guardian” – let alone purported “parent” – gave him on using protection, you’d think the old man would at least be able to follow through with his own recommendation –especially when it came to the most significant person his ward – “son” had cared about since college.  …Whom he’d planned to make his own proposal to, planned a whole lifetime together with – only for her to weep over crushed dreams and canceled wedding bells – before settling down as someone else’s happily ever after instead when he stubbornly – stupidly – wouldn’t take her back. Turned his back.)

Then.  She’d start to get too clingy, too close – and he’d dodge and dismiss – distancing – fleeing on frigid feet, promising to call her – only to break that promise and her heart. Afterwards, when she finally manages to get ahold of him – maybe she’d stumble into him in the street, or, if she were persistent enough – already in bed with another – she’d cry, scornfully slap his (im)perfect visage, yell that he’s a dick (as if he hadn’t heard that line a thousand times before), and when she tearfully demands an explanation for such abrupt rebuff, all he can sincerely answer – from the bleak bottom of his blackened integrity – is the same tired failsafe he’s fallen back on for years:

“Things change.”

One boy lives in a tower With bow and arrow and the artificial heart With his girl, maid of dishonor He loaded the cannon with a jealous appetite They say that children now they come in all ages And maybe sometimes old men die with little boy faces

The only difference that I see Is you are exactly the same as you used to be