#but i've been wanting to do this for ages lol
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madamechrissy · 3 days ago
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I'm in your walls (aka nose deep in your masterlist trying to pick which fic I want to read FIRST)
OMG hi babyy 😘😘🫶🏻 Lemme list my finished long fics, and a lil abt themmm
Take me Home Tonight- gojoxreader fun asf, You hook up w/Gojo then realize he is your law professor! At first you can't stand his cocky ass, but you both fall hard. Lawyer Gojo, breed kink like a mf lol. So much banter and tension, and back and forth. secret relationship. Lots of fluff and cute shit along with classroom sex lol 135k
Fractured Desires - starts off Sugu/reader, ends Gojo/reader. You have a threesome w/Gojo and shit gets messy. Gojo is Yandere asf, he's literally psychotic lol but boy can he fuck. Suguru is EVIL and manipulative. Freaky ass smutfest half in his POV! Def an angsty ass story and lots of sex, threesomes and foursomes, 95k
Dirty Little Secret- Toji x reader, forbidden relationship and 19 yr age gap. Toji is Shiu's bestie and Shiu is readers dad and meets you on Spring break, yall hook up but then you both fall bad. Freaky, nasty ass sex like a lottt, lol but also soft Toji!? It has fluff, angst and sm smut 85k
Cursed Promises- monster Sukuna x reader, Heian era, reader has some cute powers in this! You're chosen to marry the King of Curses to save your village and realize he’s not just some evil monster at all. Fluffy and smutty asf, arranged marriage AU, soft tsundere Sukuna, short one at 27k!
My earlier fics are a series (romcoms):
Time After Time- my first fanfic for JJK! Gojo is an asshole boss, a rich CEO, and you're his overworked, tired assistant. You put in your two weeks notice and he does everything not to lose you. Fun, smutty, fluffy, no angst really, lots of banter. 100k
But it's better if you Do - Nanami x reader, reader is a Barista by day, Stripper by night! Wearing a disguise she makes out w/Nanami, he doesn't know it's her. Reader been down bad for him. Fun, sweet, sexy, Nanami a freak in it -90k
Up in The Air- Geto x reader, Suguru meets reader on a plane after she's jilted at the altar, and stays in her honeymoon suite bc his hotel falls thru. Sweet, sexy, so cute, hurt/comfort (reader is insecure) Geto is a doll - 100k
Unfinished fic but close to being done:
Silent Serenades-ANGSTY and very dark, you're arranged to marry Duke Gojo who's a cruel, mean ass whore for 'no reason' (there's a reason) and instead of just letting him whore around, you hook up w/Nanami. Controversial and MESSY, it's Gojo/reader end game, I'm 135k words in w/two more parts left! You'll love it if you love darker/messy content.
Holy fk I've written a lot!?!?! Aha I hope you find some that you enjoy on here!!! 😭🥹😘 I know you enjoy darker stuff so I'd say Fractured Desires or Silent Serenades 😩🫶🏻😘 lysm!
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twopoppies · 3 days ago
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hi! im a new larrie and ive been reading a lot of your and other accounts masterposts but there are still some things im kinda confused about.
regarding bbg, im really confused on why B and her family would even agree to it in the first place. like when (or if) bbg ends and its revealed F isn't actually L's son, B and her family are going to receive sooo much hate so idk why they would even agree to be portrayed as the "villains" in L's life.
when B and her family were shitting on L and saying he was like his bio dad, was that also part of their plan? I feel like those things come from genuine anger and idk why they would agree to make L look bad.
some stunts still confuse me. like with holivia, she was in a relationship with Jason and the media made it seem like he was desperate to get her back, so was he also willingly participating in this stunt? if he was, I have hard time figuring out why lol. or with Caroline flack, she received a lot of hate bc of their age difference so why would they agree?
these are just some of the main things ive been wondering lol. thanks!
Hi darling. I'm glad to hear you're looking into things and thinking critically. I'll answer your questions, but these are my opinions. None of us know for sure why any of these people did anything.
I think when Briana and her family agreed to this, it was originally just to make some fast money. I really don't think it was meant to even get to the point of having an actual baby being used, and it certainly wasn't meant to last for 10+ years. I've said I think Louis doubling down on being a dad is because of some sort of legal issues that have complicated the matter. I think the Clarks/Briana are caught up in the same problem. I believe that they were initially sold the idea that Briana would be the baby mama and then Louis would say he took a paternity test and oh, it's not his kid. Louis would have his profile raised and Briana/the Clarks would get a bunch of money (the Clarks appear to have filed for bankruptcy the year BBG started, and Briana clearly spent all of her money on plastic surgery).
The Clark family and Briana were loose canons and posted all sorts of ridiculous stuff in the first five years. I don't think anyone was really in control of what they were doing. Certainly not Louis, who was pretending BBG didn't exist, and not Simon/Syco/Sony because they started the whole thing to tank Louis' reputation/punish him/get rid of Larry support, etc. If there was anger there it was more likely to do with wanting more money.
As far as Jason Sudeikis is concerned, it's possible Olivia blindsided him (given the fact that he was still referring to her as his partner so close to the debut of holivia). IMO, anything that was made to look as though he wanted her back, or anything making him look like he'd been cheated on, was dirty PR. Jason was the only one who came out smelling like roses. His show was more popular than ever, he won a bunch of Emmys, and he was on the covers of magazines... all because he was positioned as this "poor guy who is just taking care of kids while his ex cheated on him and is a floozy running around with a younger man." It was a PR war between his team (the same one currently representing Justin Baldoni) and hers (who is known to be equally as aggressive).
Caroline Flack worked for Simon Cowell/X-Factor when she was involved with bearding Harry. I'd imagine it's not very easy to say no to Simon when he's in a position of control over you. Also, there was way less public hate for the age difference at the time. Harry was treated as a sex object who loved older women practically from day one, and barely anyone batted an eye. As to why she continued to pretend she dated Harry, I have no clue – it could have been a contract she was unable to get out of, or maybe she liked the attention it brought her (especially as he became more and more famous). There's just absolutely no way that was a real relationship. Even if you don't think Harry and Louis had a long-term love affair, Haroline was in 2011. Take a look at any video of Harry and Louis from that time – it's so obvious they were besotted with each other.
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nanistar · 3 days ago
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I've said it before and I'll say it again: I'm fairly convinced that certain things the Erins defend are things that have happened to them, and they defend it because admitting that it's bad would mean that it was a bad thing to them too.
Prime example is Tom and the whole thing about the Erins saying he went to heaven - first the story frames him as having loved his kits or some shit, then after backlash the Erins only step back a bit to say that he gets better in kitty heaven, and it just. reads so much as the Erins saying "Yes he hit me but he loves his kids. Oh uh, hitting... hitting your wife is bad? Well, uh, he doesn't do it so much anymore... He's gotten better...!"
With how often they've written grooming without ever meaning to write it too, I have a feeling that it's either something they've experienced or something they've witnessed.
to be honest, i hate to speculate on the lives of people that i don't know, will never know, and don't want to know but... i do agree, and i've also held those suspicions for a long time. the original team of three (tbqh i don't know who or how many there are now) was a team of middle-aged women, and especially when it comes to their constant defense of brambleclawstar and his treatment of squirrelflight, it's easy to see that they could be in a way defending relationships that they've been/are in/normalized for themselves. there was even a comment about "oh he's not abusive! except when he was lol but he got better!" which just screams for help. but yeah. the constant cast of abusive men, the grooming, i wouldn't be surprised if they were writing from experience...
again, i hate to speculate. and if they are, it's incredibly sad and i wish there was a way to let them know that that kinda shit isn't normal or okay, and that they deserve kindness too. but i wish they would choose to write a narrative where that kind of behavior isn't allowed, especially since they're writing books for teens who really need to see that.
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journals-and-journeys · 3 days ago
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11/01/2025 // 🫖 🍃 📖
First original post in 2025!! I started a new bujo and got myself an Asian tea pot (I'd been wanting one like this for ages) and made one of my current favourite teas – a Japanese green tea my best friend gifted me last year.
I've been practicing a bit of self-care today... not just the lovely tea in my new pot, but I also started reading a book that's been "rotting" on my shelf for years lol – "The Invisible Library" by Genevieve Cogman. One chapter into the book and I'm already captivated! I put on one of my favourite dresses (I rarely ever wear dresses) and watched Sherlock (I recently started rewatching it).
I also did some meal prepping and will need to do a bit of tidying later today.
I will be sharing spreads of my bullet journal soon and also some pictures I took at a local art exhibition I went to last weekend!
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thedas-elf-lover · 3 hours ago
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A slightly deranged review from a long time Dragon Age fan.
What this game promised to be in terms of a Dragon Age game: - Most romantic - Offer a few key world state choices that would have great plot impact, which emphasis on wanting to give players choices that have a visual impact, not just codex. - The most complex, deep companions yet. - Choices that matter.
What I got: [SPOILERS] - The shortest, chastest romances I've ever seen, where the end goal is quite literally sex. The final romance scene is the sex scene, after you've been locked in for some time. No sex before marriage, lol. Even the shortest romance in DAI is longer than the longest romance in this game. It's probably the least sex positive game out of them all. - The only choice that has visual impact is the Solas option, and even that doesn't really give anything major. Solas has maybe one unique line? Otherwise, there is no major change. The other two choices (Did you disband the Inquisition? Did you vow to save or stop Solas?) have no difference, either. It's a matter of do you want your Inquisitor to say "comrade" or "friend." The Inquisition doesn't matter. The South gets nuked off-screen anyway. In codex. So two of the three world state choices we get are mostly represented in codexes anyway. - I have nothing against the companions in Veilguard, but to call them the most complex is somewhat... false. Solas is a complex character. Thom Ranier is complex. Vivienne de Fer is complex. Fenris, Anders, Merrill, Isabela, Morrigan, and Sten are complex characters. They are characters who contain complexities that are not easily swept away. ALL the Veilguard companions are your next door neighbors. They're normal. There's nothing wrong about that, but they don't challenge you. There's nothing to think about. Lucanis isn't going to make you seriously consider your morality, despite being the "prince" of the Crows - hired killers. Neve's standing and possible privilege as a human mage in a magocracy is never commented on. These are just two examples, but the same applies for the rest of the companions. None of them are HIDING anything. I will reiterate that there's not anything necessarily WRONG with that, but it does mean they lack the flare of drama that previous companions had that made them brain-scratchers. - Choices don't matter. No matter what Rook does or says, you're railroaded into a scrappy, heroic person who is always right. The worst thing you can do in this game is just NOT do the companion quests. - Despite being a RPG, there is no roleplaying. It's more action/adventure. But it gets a little slow in places for an action/adventure. And it doesn't have enough roleplay value to be a satisfying RPG. - Pretty much the only reason I can see replaying this game is to see the opposite city routes. You don't have to finish the game to get the full romance, either. - No lore continuity. Elves, qunari, dwarves, and humans just living in peace in Tevinter. Some fantasy where poor communities aren't racist doesn't explain this away. - Orientalism in Rivain? - Reducing what was originally a story about slave liberation and rebellion to "love and murder" over Solas' ex situationship. - The game can understand gender that exists outside a binary but somehow can't understand multiculturalism. - Why does Bellara, a Dalish elf, have white guilt?
Some disorganized additions:
- Tonal whiplash. You go from losing a supposedly beloved companion to the final romance scene (the sex scene) in the space of 5 second. - You can't speak to your companions outside cutscenes. However, you can go around the Lighthouse snooping on your companions having nice conversations amongst themselves. - Not a SINGLE companion bothers to check in on the PC even once. You played as a Grey Warden who lost Weisshaupt? No one cares. Emmrich will check in on Davrin but not you. The only point in the game where they show even a smidgeon of care for you is after the Regret Prison, but they don't actually show it. You're pulled out and it immediately cuts to a war table scene. No emotional reunions. - This is Found Family - but only for the companions. Bellara has the opportunity to see Neve as a sister figure, but not you. This could roll into the lack of roleplay value in this game, but it really adds to the lonely element of this game. - "Okay guys, we lost the big game. Let's all take a step back and do some self-care exercises." But the game is Weisshaupt and the South is getting nuked. - Characters often feel like caricatures of themselves. Oftentimes this game feels like a fanfiction of the story and characters it's representing. Some of the things the characters say are not things that normal people would say. Because Rook never builds more than an entirely superficial relationship with their coworkers, it's entirely believable that the most moving thing Rook can think to say, whenever the obligatory Sad Moment happens to a companion, is "[Insert Name Here], I'm so sorry." - You could replace the Inquisitior with a cardboard cut out and it would have more life. - We already had a story about a disapproving parent who is hurtful to their queer child with Dorian. There was a missed opportunity with Shathann to explore the Qunari's view on gender, but only the Tevinter characters are allowed to talk to Taash about different gender identities. When Shathann talks about qunari gender identity, it's oppression. This game's handle on cultural identity is awful. And then they fridged Shathann. - Did you know Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain, the ancient elven gods (we won't say Evanuris even though that's shorter and more believable to Andrastians who might balk at the idea of ELVEN gods), have escaped from their prison and are blighting the world? The elven gods escaped and they're blighting the world, because they're blighted and escaped prison and are elven gods and are blighting the world, Elgar'nan and Ghilan'nain, those gods, who are elven, and escaped and are blighting the world. - This game is Young Adult. This game is YA with all the darker, grittier elements from the previous game filed away, presented as "politically correct" with "ethical piracy" with no continuity in characterization because Isabela Dragon Age 2 would NOT say any of that. It's if Genshin Impact was a Dragon Age game, complete with the canned body language (cross arms). - The villains are one-dimensional. Aelia's "Minrathous dark truth" AKA Batman villain, Butcher dies after 1 moment of glory, the Dragon King is nothing sauce, if Elgar'nan was just a little bit more intelligent he'd have just smashed that moon into Thedas and called it a day, Illario's speech is ripped right from the Lion King. Gone are the days where antagonists had complex reasons for their actions. Gone are the days where characters were put into situations were there was NO good choice for them to make and we could judge them with the nuance they deserved. - Also did you know: Whatever it takes?
On the bright side, the CC is great.
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the-trans-script · 3 days ago
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So, something I've been doing as a neurodivergent trans person in their first relationship who has never witnessed a healthy relationship irl (my family is kindly, fucked)
Is lots of *research* about healthy relationships (because of course I am)
and something obvious, but depressing, is that a lot of relationship research isn't helpful, because it's done on straight people. And then, when there ARE some gay people included, there are no trans people included.
And I'm not critiquing anyone, science is hard and expensive, we'll get there eventually hopefully.
But this does leave me with a problem. No statistics apply to my relationship. Which is a T4T trans masc relationship.
And yes of course, basic dating advice is good for EVERYONE, communicate, date someone with the same values, date someone who treats you kindly, etc etc.
But when you get to the nitty gritty of relationships, no one talks about T4T relationships.
I'm not sure how to articulate my point properly, but there's just something about NEVER witnessing a relationship like your own that leaves you feeling a little stranded.
One part of me says, well we can just make up our own rules of course!
But the other, monkey brained part of me, wishes for examples.
Examples of old trans couples showing how they made things work, how the rules in their relationships differ from cishet people or even cis gay people, talking about the issues they have that could only arise in a t4t relationship, talking about how their socialization effects their relationship, and honestly...just talking about existing. Because doesn't T4T feel so new even though we know it isn't?
I don't know. I think there's this assumption that all romantic relationships work the same, but in my experience of queer people, and specifically trans people, *they don't.*
We may love similarly, the base feelings may be the same, but the way our relationships function isn't necessarily the same.
Perhaps because our relationships have always been for love or at least good company, and never really about societal expectation (although I know some gays parents definitely want them to get married these days lol)
Which is sort of the best thing about queer relationships, they're completely our own.
But then, all advice that's given to us, all information we receive about relationships, is through a straight lense.
Through a lense that's been created through generations of misogyny, and marrying for good business, and marrying for survival.
And it's not that straight people have no valuable relationship information, I love nothing more than listening to very old straight couples who still love each other talk about their relationships (other than perhaps very old gay couples)
But even so, I get this disheartened feeling anyway. I've never seen a relationship like mine age.
The best I'll ever get is maybe a few worn sepia photographs of couples people debate the transness of. And I'll never know anything about them.
I hope that we can become those old people I need, for the future generations. I hope I become the happily married 90 year old trans person I need now, for someone else.
But for now, I'll just try to appreciate the beauty of painting my own picture, even if I wish I had some rulers for the perspective.
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spotaus · 22 hours ago
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Thinking about Cross' reunion with his brother!!! (New Age AU lore run under the cut lmao-) ( @ancha-aus this is what I was on about a few messages ago!)
So, Ancha mentioned it a while ago, but I agree that Cross and his brother Nine should certainly get to see each other again <3 (this post might involve things I've said before but I have horrid memory soooo my apologies lol-) Note: I'm thinking Nine should be Cross' older brother! It makes sense narratively and also I've got too many older siblings in the Main cast haha-
Cross (Ten at the time) had a strained relationship with his older brother. X-Gaster was their only parent, and created them with the intention of making the perfect super soldiers, men who would obey his every command. Nine was the only one of X-Gaster's previous attempts to survive, and he was very.... maliciously compliant we'll say? Nine was a clever skeleton who would follow his creator's every command, so well that any and all loopholes would be taken advantage of whenever possible. Nine did not like X-Gaster, and he didn't like his rule, and he didn't like how the people were treated.
Of course, he had to make a hard choice when Ten was created. X-Gaster wanted to use Ten as an anchor to hold Nine back from his rebellion. If he had a little sibling to worry about, surely he would be more obedient, right? Well, no. Nine made sure X-Gaster never could use Ten against him by doing his rebellion regardless of how Ten was treated. Did it hurt? Yeah. Did he know he couldn't afford to let Ten get hurt by his connection to him? So badly. He ignored Ten for much of his life, which meant that X-Gaster gave up on using him for leverage, but was also given the chance to craft Ten exactly how he wanted without any of Nine's backlash.
Aka? Ten got manipulated by X-Gaster. Nine broke the rules, and he got punished. Ten did well? He was treated well. It turned out that Ten was his perfect soldier, and Nine was the one he could keep around to keep Ten in check.
And, Ten adored Nine. When they got older, Ten never stopped looking up to Nine, even if he thought Nine was reckless and stupid for being disobedient. He knew Nine had his reasons, and frankly? Nine showing him ANY kindness (helping him patch up wounds after training, leaving treats for him, looking at him kindly, etc.) was better than nothing and far better than X-Gaster. They had a really strange and unhealthy bond, but brotherly nonetheless.
So when they were both older, abd Nine was planning the coup, and he tried to bring Ten to his side? It hurt. It hurt both of them when Ten turned away. Ten never said a word about how it was Nine who asked him to join. He told X-Gaster someone tried, and he denied them, but nothing more. And then when the Coup was in motion and Nine had to face Ten? They both had to do what they thought was best. Ten obeyed, all he's ever known, and Nine finally broke the rules and laid all his cards on the table.
And when they won, when Ten was left without a master, when he'd fought hard against his older brother? When Ten was without direction and looked to Nine, but he couldn't follow Nine because Nine had broken all their rules... Nine was willing to watch out for Ten. There was no more threat of X-Gaster, they could finally live as siblings, but Cross had been too indoctrinated. He was too adamant during the coup. No one else could trust him, they didn't want him around, nothing. So he was honest with Nine and told him he was leaving, in passing, before simply running away.
When the opportunity to reunite arises, it's because Cross' original kingdom wants to be allies. It's been years, Nightmare is hardly 18 or so, and he's been slowly working to bring people together. When the kingdom reaches out, they also ask about Ten, because it's not exactly a secret as to where he eventually ended up. They want to reconnect.
Night is cautious. Cross assures him Nine wouldn't support leaders who weren't doing their best, so an allyship would make sense. Night is more worried for Cross' wellbeing and the threat it might pose to him (physically or emotionally) to face those in his old kingdom. So, they agree that Nightmare would visit with Killer and Dust as his initial party. Cross would stay back with Horror (and Blue + Dream as added back-up as Knights) at the kingdom.
Only after several visits of Night's (and discussing it very heavily with Lust, the other Knights, Night, etc) does he decide he'll go in person. By then he's the only Royal Knight who hasn't gone with Nightmare, and they decide he'll go alongside Killer (Killer could be trusted to keep an eye on both Cross and Night, and as the first Knight it's kinda like a dibs situation to be able to look out for Cross).
And like. I haven't quite fleshed out Nine's personality yet... but I do believe that the moment he meets Nightmare and his men (because Nine became head of the guard in Cross' absence) he's unable to help himself from greeting Cross with a "Ten!" And I think Cross would recoil because, reading his old name is one thing, hearing it said is another. And he's really not sure how to respond.
(This is going to keep sitting in my drafts if I don't post it now, but basically this is just a quick look at my thought process so far for Cross + his Brother lol-)
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timetodiverge · 7 months ago
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The Jason Mendoza/The Good Place + Qimir/The Acolyte crossover no-one asked for
(...because it's better to laugh than cry!!)
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[All my The Acolyte posts are tagged #TheAcolyteSpoilers for 48hrs]
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chalkrub · 29 days ago
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smorkin
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hayden-christensen · 9 months ago
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OBI-WAN KENOBI (2022) Cinematography by Chung-Hoon Chung
@pscentral event 26: minimalism
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cozmic-ash · 6 months ago
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played DA2 for the first time and romanced the possessed bisexual poor little meow meow who's totally down for firebombing a walmart
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snarkspawn · 3 months ago
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they're thinking about davrin's shoulders
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harbingersecho · 7 months ago
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Let us drink till the downfall of heaven Let us drink till the night has transformed into day Let us relish in dreams of forever Let us drink and die and drink again
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artist-rat · 7 months ago
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former inquisitor telithal lavellan goth slay cyberpunk era concept
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midnightwind · 6 days ago
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you guys like me going off on random DA tangents and musings, right?? because I've been awake too long so you're getting another one
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I have been sat here trying to figure out Why Lucanis' prison looks like a bunch of ice and why it was so far away from the "lab" settings for a while now. (arguably two rooms fit this description, the one where Lucanis tells you about Zara and the one right outside his phylactery room) Like, even without that bridge being broken, it's in such a bizarre corner of the Ossuary. And I mean, it wouldn't really matter with a normal prisoner, but Lucanis was a notorious Crow and mage killer on top of that, plus he was Zara's special little guy to fuck with. You would not want to take him for a long walk to experience the worst shit on earth every few days. Maybe it's close enough to the little room where he mentions Zara and maybe she wanted him close to the door so she didn't have to go far to torture him, but again, leaving such a challenging subject close to the exit seems like a bad choice. You want him to have to get through so many guys and doors before escaping so you have time to take him down.
This also ignores the magic required to leave, but they're not clear on what that is and not all the Venatori are mages so there's gotta be a mundane way out he could snatch off a guard. I digress, the whole ice cage and far off room doesn't make sense. But we know they were shipping demons to Zara. (I'm pretty sure the few demons you confront in Minrathous were Zara's little pets set loose so we can assume she wanted them in the capital for the eventual Venatori coup on the crown) If Zara was about to be stuck in Minrathous for the foreseeable future, setting things into motion for Elgar'nan, I could see her wanting her pet Crow at her side. Especially if you consider the initial idea for Lucanis: he was going to be a mind controlled murder puppet before you break him out.
Sure, Spite didn't crack open his ribcage and crawl out like some new horror, but having a demon in Lucanis lets her control him via the phylactery if not just outright with her blood magic. Maybe his will was too strong for mundane control, but the phylactery works. We know it works based off of Lucanis' dialogue about it. So we know she had a surefire way to keep him under control. (There's a whole other post exploring the amount of dead Venatori and the fact that Lucanis still has his leathers and weapons [which would make sense if he was Zara's murder puppet, but alas] and whether Lucanis recently made a break for it or if the loose demons/spirits/undead killed them all) Maybe he kept his leathers because Zara wanted him presentable upon delivery, I don't know.
But I do think he was being prepped to move. The Ossuary is falling apart, Zara is pulling all the best results, they're losing personnel and servants without being given more; Zara was clearly moving on from that location. But she wanted her little Antivan prize. He's too dangerous to move normally, a Crow is likely to escape if given an inch especially a skilled one like Lucanis, so they need to lock him down somehow. Ropes and chains aren't reliable, not with a Crow, but he's not a mage. You can use magic. You can literally put him on ice. I think they were packaging him up in an ice cube and doing it next(ish) to the door so they could more easily move him. I think Zara was going to take him and his phylactery to Minrathous and use him to cause some absolutely ruthless mayhem in the city before her cult took it over.
I think Rook showing up weakened the spell being cast just enough for Lucanis and Spite to break out, and I think it saved a whole lot of lives.
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lunarharp · 5 months ago
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played dragon age 2...just simple scribbles
#dragon age tag#i doubt that will see much use again..but who knows. vvv rambling below#weird game..the characters dialogue stuff and ending were good tho :')#i've played some of the first game but it kept crashing. i knew already despite knowing nothing that this guy was going to be my type#it doesnt feel right making video game art any more bc games like this end up feeling really personal - an experience that happened to me#if i design the main character a bit and fall in love then..that happened to me..i can't make Fan Art of that..only ive been through that..#like i cant make fanart of my dear companions in bg3 despite it having been a huge part of my heart in the last year#almost 1000 hours of playtime in something i can barely talk about bc it means too much.... lol#tons of ideas and conversations and extra thoughts and scenes and emotions about all the incredible times i've been through in bg3#and the maelstrom just rotates around intensely in my own heart forever...but that's ok too...that is so precious to me#but fortunately i already knew people that have played this game and talked/drew abt it recently so it was saved from that for me#sharing scribbly fanart on my Blog is a way to capture the feeling just after experiencing something so it has good points#witch hat atelier escapes that by not being a GAME. games are so immersive. but my wha art & feelings are incredibly immersive too#which makes it difficult sometimes now. i live a complicated and emotional life <3 i am not suited to fandom <3#my character ended up looking so much like oru without me realising that's what i was doing. Kind bearded fireball throwing gay mage. Hmm.#falling for a sad white hair memory trauma fellow that keeps you at a tragic distance. Hmmmmmm.#i see also how very much bg3 is inspired by stuff like dragon age now lol so i'm glad i experienced it. I WANT MY KIRKWALL LIFE BACK...#so dated though as well and unpleasant at times (the city and the dismal atmosphere was depressing.) i hate violence/horror..#bg3 is SOOOO very dismal but it feels like I am killing people and going through horrors because i have to survive i have to be free#Well anyway. ahh it's so refreshing to fall in love. my gay journey continues...
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