#but i'm still doing my laundry 💀

[ode2rin]

quick, what do you usually end up doing when you're supposed to be studying for exams instead?

.... writing something..... or cooking every produce i have left 😭 reorganizing things in my home... basically anything except studying 😭

[livelaughloveluffy]

comfort - trafalgar water d. law

a/n: listen... i was always a law simp pre-wano..... but wano law 😭😭😭 you will always be famous. and the brain rot is just so intense for him that i had to write this fic

a/n: i'm still adjusting to my antidepressants and literally have 9 labs due this week so forgive me for not being insanely active; i'm mainly just trying to survive 💀

nothing but fluff here! 💗

---------------------------------------------------------------------

when he comforts you:

-the captain goes above and beyond to silently help you out. chores you were supposed to do around the polar tang are miraculously already done, a cold glass of water and a small snack left on your nightstand when you wake up, your laundry folded and put away.

-and it doesn't stop at that. law wants to make sure you can relax and destress, so this sweet man will run you a bath, dimly lit with candles and a glass of wine, and he'll stay to gently wash your hair and give back massages. fully allowing you to just enjoy the warmth of the soapy water and his touch.

-he'll always make time in his schedule for cuddles, even if that means the two of you are crammed into his desk chair, he'll hold you tight to him, gently stroke your hair, and whisper sweet nothings into your ear.

-while advice isn't law's strongest area of expertise (he's much too pessimistic and blunt for that 💀) he is a fantastic listener. once he knows you aren't looking for a solution to your problems but just someone to support you while you rant, he'll sit through hours and hours of ranting and rambling, attentive eyes on you, his hand on the smalls of your back rubbing soft circles into you, even when he's busy he'll always lend an ear to your problems and a shoulder to cry on.

-he's a lot more affectionate than usual when he notices you haven't been yourself. pda suddenly doesn't bother him anymore, and he won't leave a room before giving you some kisses, his arm will be around your waist as he address the crew, or he'll grab your hand and intertwine his fingers with yours.

-when you're sick, injured, or on your period: law will provide literally the best cuddles you could ever ask for, his silk sheets against your body, the smell of his cologne filling the room, his warm body next to yours, your head on his chest, he'll let your fingers trace over the lines of his tattoos with absolutely no protesting. he's going to do the most for you, and if you didn't know him as well as you do, you'd truly have no idea who was leaving little chocolates and love notes on your pillow, a new book on your bed, your favorite drink stocked up in the fridge, and the fresh flowers on your nightstand everyday. he'll never address it or come out to take credit for it, he'd just do it. the captain will shower you in kisses much more than usual, on your cheek, the top of your head, a small peck on your lips, he's much more affectionate as its the subtle way he expresses his love and worry for you.

when he needs comforting:

-law is not the kind of guy to talk about his problems. a lot of this is because he struggles with verbalizing his feelings, worries, and stresses, but also because he doesn't find any relief in it. you instantly know when the captain needs you by the way he asked for you to meet him in his office. the second the door closes, he's picking you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and holding you so close to him, the faint scent of bourbon vanilla fills your nose as you bury your face into the crook of his neck.

-there's nothing the captain loves more than the feeling of your fingers tangled up in his soft dark raven locks, with your face resting against his chest you can hear the way his heart beat slightly slows fully enjoying the sensation of your touch.

-law finds lots of solace in hearing your voice, it's simply music to his ears. he'll listen to stories about your past or adventures you've been on, rambles about your hobbies, what you did today, anything and everything. he loves the distraction it provides him as well as the comforting ambient noise it provides while he works.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

a/n: soft law my beloved 😭😭😭😭😭 i totally forgot the whole "when you're sick" section of this fic when i first posted it, so i panic wrote that shit so damn fast 💀 it's been a minute since i wrote one of these 😭😭

a/n: enjoyed this fic? here's my masterlist!!

a/n: if you are interested in being added to my taglist: here's a google form!!!

[pearblossomrain]

personal summary of what might be the most unserious gp i have ever seen aka sao paulo 2024:

(almost needed a whole separate post just for qualis and side note, this sounds a bit like commentary bc i was actually making commentary when watching for my friend)

tldr for qualis; more red flags than an all boys' school, some controversial safety car periods, hamilton out q1, red bulls+sainz out q2, crazy top 5 of norris, russell, tsunoda, ocon and lawson in That Exact Order.

• before the race even STARTED, sainz was starting from the pit lane, albon didn't start the race due to damage from quali, verstappen had a 5 place grid penalty. when you think things are already crazy enough, lance stroll spins out on the formation lap which calls for a second formation lap, and then a third formation lap and aborted start due to lots of confusion (multiple drivers were noted 💀)

(will cut here to save space T-T)

• lights out and away we go....and so does the lead apparently bc russell almost immediately grabbed first from norris?? and he held onto that lead like my grandma holds a grudge; for what seemed like aeons. 😭

• verstappen, hamilton, colapinto and gasly were leaping up the ranks like nobody's business, literally blinked and i missed multiple overtakes from them.

• speaking of verstappen, he goes all the way up from p17 to p6 in like less than 15 laps and there was a super nerve wracking train of tsunoda, ocon, leclerc and verstappen that honestly stressed the hell out of me to watch for all those consecutive laps (i left to get an ice cream and when i came back, even the gaps between had barely changed at all)

• ferrari suddenly decides to pit leclerc incredibly early which i still cannot tell if it was a good idea or not because it started raining heavily and soon everyone except a few of the leading pack went into the pit after a virtual safety car period bc hulkenberg spun out (more on him later trust me), which puts us with a seemingly temporary top 3 of OCON, VERSTAPPEN AND GASLY??? in that order too! 🤡

• first red flag because colapinto collided really heavily into the barriers (man i feel bad for him, this is as close to a home race as it gets for him) and i swear nobody is having a worse day than the williams garage.....my genuine thoughts and prayers to that blue unserious team

• AN ACTUAL BLACK FLAG?!!??? to hulkenberg because apparently when he spun out he had marshals push his car back on track which isn't allowed (but i have to say, unless he made the marshals do it when they didn't want to, it's also a bit on them)....williams racing might have a competitor for most depressed garage after this 😭

• penalties!! so many penalties!! bearman picked up a couple of penalties for collisions and so did piastri which they keep until the end and i'm quite sure there were a couple more but i really could NOT keep up oops. (edit: one more thing! i do feel a little bad for piastri bc he had to sort of give a bit of way for norris at the end when they were stacked tgt only for them to not move up positions at all and with the 10s penalty idk how this will end up being.)

• this red flag period was so unbelievably long (i think all in all it was about 30 min?) that i had time to watch them all go into the pits and get out of their cars, then leave and do some laundry, grab a snack and a drink. 😭 and when i returned, 16 drivers had just requested a restart which in turn led the fia to call for a rolling start

• they finally went back to racing, and so many things happened relatively quickly; norris went wide and russell went past norris to p4, bearman got into the barriers but returns to bring up the rear (NOOO MY SON) and sainz crashed rather badly into the barriers and that was ANOTHER safety car period good god! (they said this is his second time in the barriers which, absolutely Foul, but unfortunately not wrong 😭)

• verstappen (who was honestly having a great day so far from p17 to p2) TOOK A PRETTY BIG LEAD which. oh my god we hadn't seen this in like 100 days or something 😭 and norris goes down to p7?? not sure what happened there tbh i was not looking closely oops again.

• there was a crazy back-and-forth battle going in the midfield bc both vcarbs are in front of perez who, in the commentators' words, "are both fighting for his seat" 💀 and hamilton was also chasing perez (and eventually got the last point) so there was just a lot of scrabbling for points i guess?

• also somewhere in there, i didn't keep track because of so many things happening, alonso spun out and ended up at the back of the pack (i also feel bad for him bc he mentioned back pain and bouncing at the end so sorry grandpa) and yet he did not finish dead last? afterwards he was dead set on finishing the race "for the mechanics", in his own words, which i see as an absolute class act in my opinion. hate him or love him, this makes me have huge respect for him.

• ALPINE. alpine oh my god i (and them. and EVERYONE HONESTLY???) can't believe they held onto a double podium all the way to the end wow i think nobody is happier than that garage and team rn like whole house GLADDD 😭 (p.s. my friend, not sure if she'd like to be tagged, said that the french flag and dutch flag at the podium ceremony were "like y-axis and x-axis" which had me losing it)

• honestly the only thing i am rather sad about is tsunoda finishing p8 after starting p3 but if we are being honest, parts of this race were due to circumstances and perhaps a little bit of additional luck but at least he is in the points and goodbye unlucky streak!! plus it's double vcarb points!

[side notes because this is as long as an entire speech; i did the maths and norris would have to be p1 and verstappen p8 in every single grand prix (not counting the sprint) to win by 1 point and if the maths works out that they're both tied in points, verstappen would still win because he has more grand prix wins even if norris wins all remaining 3 gps]

in conclusion, for a race i predicted would finish at 1:30am my time (it started at 11:30pm here) and hopefully i would get more 5 hours of sleep before work, i will be left with just over 3 hours of sleep now and yet i have ZERO REGRETS BECAUSE HOLY FCK THAT WAS A ROLLERCOASTER. absolutely nothing can top this race for me for the entire season and maybe even last season!!

definitely probably missed quite a few things but this is what i can remember off the top of my head or what was most memorable to me and it is 3am here so pls cut me some slack 🙏

[sweetcollywobbles]

my yandere!leon headcanons so far MDNI

hello! these are just a few headcanons i had about leon as a yandere and a person in general. there is nsfw below the cut, so MINORS AND AGELESS BIOS FUCK OFF ‼ also feel free to send me your thoughts on yandere!leon and your personal headcanons if you have any!!

xx

sfw

⟢ he's self-aware that what he's done to you is horrible. he knows you have every right to hate him, but that doesn't stop him from wishing you would love him back. he never meant to hurt or deceive you, but he's lost and given too much. leon wants someone to come home to, share a meal with, and feel needed and wanted. to receive a sliver of what he's given out. so forgive him if he's being selfish when it comes to you, but he deserves happiness too. so why not help him play house?

⟢ smells of bergamot and lavender. it’s nice and relaxing, but also musky and woodsy. he read somewhere that lavender calms the nerves, so he just absolutely lathers himself in the scent. Sometimes you swear he smells like sleep personified. unfortunately, he’s still a man, so he uses old spice lavender body wash. for cologne, he uses sauvage by dior. 

⟢ normalcy is hard. how can anyone go back into society as if the amount of  horrors you’ve seen, aren’t there? like you’re fine and everything is fine? so, leon has found a pretty good remedy, company. each friday, a sit down dinner with claire, chris, and jill. pizza, wings, and beer every sunday with chris watching whatever football game is on. sometimes they may not know the current standings of teams, but it’s fun to pretend that they do. yet friends can only fill the void so much, maybe with you, the world won’t feel so lonely. 

⟢ he has a major sweet tooth! likes his coffee with cream and sugar, won’t drink his coffee black unless he really needs it. leon will always have room for dessert lmao. has tried to bake, but he just doesn’t got it 💀something just always goes wrong. a big ice cream/frozen yogurt guy. once a month, leon will make a “everything under the kitchen sink” sundae. he’ll dump whatever pints of ice cream into a large bowl and top it off with whatever candy, syrup, and whip topping he has. leon is usually on a very strict diet, so why not splurge?

⟢ leon on his off time has taught himself how to smoke/grill meat. only knows how to make small side dishes to go with the meat that he’s made. mashed potatoes and grilled veggies are usually his two favorite go-to sides. 

⟢ i'm a firm believer that leon's receiving love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with a hint of acts of service. leon works a lot, whether at the office or away on another mission, this poor, tired man is always working. so when he's home be prepared to be attached at the hip. leon also has a lot of self-doubt and guilt about what he's done to you, so by telling him how much you love and appreciate him, it feeds his growing delusion that what he's done is necessary. you need him just as much as he needs you. it also adds to the reassurance when you do small things for him to show your love and appreciation, whether it’s real or not. like cleaning and folding his laundry, making him a cup of coffee in the morning, back rubs after a long day, or even packing his lunch for the day. 

i’m giggling at the thought of leon keeping all the small notes you add to his lunch, reading them when the day gets tough. or maybe he has one or two in a go-bag when he has to take small out-of-state trips for work. 

⟢ building off the one before, he won't admit it but he's clingy. he prefers showers, but will choose a bath if it means he gets a small intimate moment with you in the morning. not in a sexual sense, more in a “let’s bask in each other’s presence”. never sits across from you at a table or booth, always next to you. same thing for the couch. there could be a thousand pillows on the bed, but he always chooses yours. leon will also never lets you sleep facing any windows/doors for security reasons. there is no such thing as personal space with this man.

⟢ since leon is a yandere his reciprocating love language is all of them. he wants you to stay with him, so he is willing to drown you in his love until it's the only thing you'll ever know. i'm going to break this down a little in sections.  

⟡ leon isn't the best when it comes to choosing the words that relay how he feels. the words feel wrong and it leaves him awkward. so any sort of verbal praise from him is rare. the most you would get from him is a thumbs up and a "sure" or a pat on the back with a nod.

(😀👍🏻 <— leon fr) but, put a piece of paper infront of this man and all of a sudden he's writing words that’ll make shakespear blush. it's words so sickly sweet it gives you a toothache. leon really hates himself for not being able to verbal relay this to you, but maybe you can feel what he wants to say?

⟡ leon is just really good at showing you how he feels than telling you. I KNOW THIS MAN WOULD GIVE THE BEST HUGS BECAUSE HE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS ONE. just imagining leon giving you a bear hug, fully enveloping you, and he can't help but hold you a little closer. maybe even holds your head a little more to him. his eyes are closed, soaking up the loving moment, he might even do a little sigh of relief. because with you, he's safe. with you, he's loved. and he just wants you to feel the love he has for you through every action. to feel what he can't say. (SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK!!) leon also always has to be touching you in some way. his favorite places for kisses; nose, cheek, neck, or hand. every morning, when he's holding you close, he'll leave small repeated kisses on your neck until you wake up giggling. not really into lip kisses, but will sometimes start a lazy make out session. just loves holding you whenever he can and making sure you feel loved at all times.

⟡ leon will also do the most for you. having a hard time sleeping? he's awake with you, lightly scratching your back in small circles or holding you close while he's running his fingers through your hair. leon just can't sleep knowing that you're having a hard time sleeping. hungry but don't want to cook? he's in the kitchen cheffing it up. putting love in every plate that he makes you, even if it isn't restaurant quality. i feel like leon will also leave you small notes around the house in places that you would find, but it's little drawings instead of words. in the slow cooker, a picture of a flower. in between the dryer sheets, a bad stick figure drawing of what you think is of you and him. at some random page of the book you're reading, a simple heart. 

⟡ leon loves spending time with you. it doesn't matter what it is, even if you're doing nothing. he wants to do nothing with you. his favorite thing to do with you is listen to you. whether you’re rambling about the latest tv drama he knows nothing about or it’s late at night and you’re reading whatever book you’ve picked up. he loves being in the kitchen when you’re cooking/baking. he’s your dedicated sous chef, so feel free to boss him around like your gordon ramsay. although, i’m so sorry for the amount of “my name is sue” jokes he’ll make. loves watching movies, putting together legos/ doing diy crafts, and playing mario kart. 

I NOTICED THIS WAS GETTING LONG AND IDK IF I EXPLAINED THIS WELL BUT IM HOPING I DID. THIS WAS SOOOO SELF INDULGENT.

⟢ when it comes to pet names, leon will add a “my” to the start of it. he’s possessive and it shows in his actions. will often say: my girl, my sweetheart, my baby, my angel, etc.

nsfw (i’m not good at smut sorry)

⟢ the praise problem does not equate to what happens in the bedroom. i'm sorry, i just simply refuse. a complete 180, he's a talker. whether it's saying something so outlandishly lewd like he wants the whole world to hear or sickly sweet nothings in your ear, this dude will NOT stfu. (and it makes me giggle and kick my feet) I WILL PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND SAY THAT THIS MAN IS ABSOLUTELY FERAL IN BED. he's always stressed. from his job, from the lack of self care, from the past that just never seems to leave him. he's on edge. he has healthy ways of releasing it, but sometimes the gym or extra training isn't enough. 

⟢ which can lead to leon being a little mean in bed. he’s absolutely degrading the life out of you while also giving you whiplash with the praise that he gives you as well. leon is a lot more aggressive and at some point you’re just a fleshlight to him. spanking, choking, biting, spitting, you name it, it is on the table. also licking whatever drool comes out of his mouth makes him lose his mind fr.

⟢ i'm not good at writing smut, but i do have an idea of what i think leon's favorite sex positions would be. the first one would be mating press. it's extremely intimate and it allows him to be close to your face and neck than the regular missonary position. again, he really gets off knowing that he's the one getting you off. another postition would be cowgirl, it gives him full view of your chest and face, except you're not really riding him. again, he just using you as a fleshlight like giving you the perception that you’re in control. another would be you on your belly and him basically putting you in a headlock. IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED BUT IF YKYK. and leon just saying the most down right atrocious things in your ear would make me go crazy. 

YOU’RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME YOU DON’T WANT HIS HUGE ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK, YOU’RE INSANE. 

⟢ last but not least, ✨moaning✨. i like to think that he’s a grunter and whiner at the same time. idk if that makes any sense? he’s loud but not obscenely loud. but sometimes when he overstimulates himself, he’s a complete whiner like lovi (again if ykyk).

[velvetures]

*Peeks from a corner*

Merry Christmas!

Hi um...can I just say your comfort fluff fics have made me realize just how touche-starved I personally am. Made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

So, if I could be so bold as to ask for a fic with Soap or Gaz or Keegan with that same theme? Making sure they're taken care of, or make them feel safe enough to let their guard down for a bit?

Again, totally fine if you have other things to do, but it would really male my day if you did. Thank you and have a nice day!

- 💀

Fall Back

a/n: thank you for the request babes... I'm sorry Christmas is just now here in mid-fucking May :( I'm ashamed. Additionally, this is my first time writing for Keegan... and I'm still working out the specifics for my interpretation of his character and behavior. So this is a bit different from what I've written before. Hopefully you enjoy it. summary: Keegan's worn down to the bone. And you're there to help him. t/w's: none.

his eyes are almost identical to my husband's... why didn't I notice until now...

He only comes to you when things get too heavy to bear.

And not in the way a refrigerator empty of food, or a late rent payment would weigh on your mind. You’ve not seen the same things he has… and fuck, he’ll do anything to make sure you never do. The mere thought that any of the nightmares and constant PTSD triggers that make him jumpy could touch your conscious would send him into an entirely new mental warfare, impossible to win. No, he shows up when he needs it most. No matter what you might be doing, or how it could appear, he’s crawling on his belly with a broken look in his eyes. Pride bruised, strength dissolved, and voice rough with more pain than you thought he could ever survive.

You tried keeping the back door unlocked for him. Thinking he’d take it as a sign that your home is always welcome. It resulted in him forcing you to lock the doors and make him a key. That lasted a couple of months, and then he lost the key somewhere in Cuba. Something about a guy ripping his chain off his neck and subsequently the key to your door that he wore alongside his dog tags. He’d been quick to change all of your locks after that. And since then, he’s decided that crawling in through your bedroom window is the only way he’ll enter your house unless you’re formally inviting him in.

Maybe it’s the anti-social part of him that believes he can’t come and go as he pleases. Spending precious time sneaking into your little house instead of doing what he came for in the first place. Getting close to you. Sometimes he won’t wake you up. Just taking off his bloody-soaked gear and taking a quick wash in the shower before curling up to you in bed. Tucking you under him, and breathing in the soft smell of your soap and fresh sheets. Other times, you’ll stir away when you hear boots scuffing heavily against the floor. Hearing heavy breaths and his tac vest thumping to the floor. Witnessing what it’s like when a ghost finally runs out of hatred and cold-blooded determination.

“Are you hurt?” It’s almost always your first question. After so many missions, he’s almost always got something that needs looked at. And while you never thought that tying stitches or cleaning shallow stab wounds would be a common occurrence in your life, Keegan has made it so that your medical kit under your bathroom sink is always stocked and ready for emergency-room worthy injuries.

He’s not going to talk much, even if he’s in good shape. It’s not in his disposition. More like a shelter dog sent back too many times for growling or bearing his teeth. Wary of everything, yet so desperate for touch that he’s willing to show you exactly where a bullet grazed his thigh. About eight hours old and weeping blood, staining a pair of pants that you’ll spend time scrubbing out in the morning while doing laundry. But if you’re worried, he’s going to hide just how badly he’s hurting… if for nothing than your sake.

He’s already broken into your house again… and now bleeding all over the bathroom rug with pretty flowers you bought after the last time he made a mess in there. Constantly reminding himself it’s selfish to demand you care for him. To show up with a shitty fucking attitude and guilt you into licking his wounds when he can’t bear to do it himself, or admit to the medical staff on base that he needs it. You’re too kind for this kind of bullshit. Too sweet to run him off though. And it’s why he keeps crawling back. Greedy… hungry… insatiable… he’s always admonishing himself for just how little control he possesses when there’s an opportunity to leave you alone, or place himself right in the middle of your life again.

“Everyone come back alive?”

Keegan has a love hate relationship with that particular question. Debating on whether or not he likes that you worry for his teammates in such an honest way; or if he’s so jealous of your mind wandering to them, and what fucked-up things they do during missions that it’s almost unbearable to hear you ask it.

“Alive.” He breathes out steadily as you thread your stitching through his skin for an eighth time, tying another knot over his twitching and aching muscles.

You’re always asking questions about the missions. About what he had to do, if he got hurt, where they went… it’s innocent enough. You mean well. But he never can tell you much. Protective instinct and top secret red tape make much of the details not worth the risk of divulging. But he’s patient with you. Giving away small hints maybe by saying a few words in a native language, or talking about a particular landmark that might’ve been close enough that you can make a guess from there. At this point, you’ve learned at least a few words in: German, Russian, Thai, and multiple hispanic dialects. A smart woman, of course, but he’s always surprised when you connect his work to something you’ve seen on the news.

It’s like you’re always watching for him.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.”

Maybe you do look out for him in more ways than one. Not bothering with the fact that you’d already completed your nightly routine, just to strip down and get a shower running. Rubbing out strained shoulders with soft hands, and gently thumbing out the thick knots in his lower back. It’s the only pressure he’s willing to accept in this state. Merely breathing just to live for more of your touch. Keegan can’t even bother with soap, and had it not been for you, he wouldn’t have at all. Feeling you scrub down every inch of him. Much more like a maid than… well… he still didn’t know what kind of label to put on this relationship.

There were too many variables and more questions than he could answer. Sure it was… transactional at times, but he’d be remiss to ignore all of the ways you occupied his thoughts when it wasn’t appropriate to. And you always do more than you’re supposed to. Just like now. Wrapping your arms around him for behind and kissing over his shoulder blades. Humming a soft tune and letting your fingertips trace over his stomach. Any man should be able to admit that he’s weak for it… but Keegan can’t readily do that.

Fighting his own heart pounding in his chest as you sway him back and forth. Wishing he could let this feeling go. Be a stronger man. Be a better ghost and lock himself away behind the gear and guns. Fuck. You’re so good at it though. Stripping him down to nothing, even when he thought there wasn’t anything else left. Soothing aches and kissing away pains he blocked out for so long that he felt like had disappeared. You are smarter than that. You know how his mind works whether he likes it or not. How willing he is to go from hell and back so many times that he’s unsure of what kind of being he truly is. Caught between worlds of warfare and the softer one where you always welcome him back, knowing that within a few days the gore will call him back for service.

“Sleep on the couch…” He mutters, standing with a towel slung around his hips and a bleary look in satin light-blue eyes. “Don’t wanna stain your sheets.”

He’d seen them upon arrival; crisp white and hundred-dollar softness he didn’t want to touch. Between the blood and feeling of getting spoiled to them, it wasn’t worth it to him. He’d done it before without much thought, but this time something was making him attempt responsibility.

“Then I’m coming with you, Russ.”

You’re smiling that damned smile he dreams about. That one where the gap between your front teeth shows and the dimpled skin on your cheeks shadows just enough to make him forget that you’re human. Angelic. Teasing… Gracefully not leaving him room for an argument. Simply turning around and headed towards the bedroom without another word as to if he’d be choosing to lay cramped on your couch. Hell, it’s four in the morning, and your mind is sharp enough to play with him just enough that he’s stalking back into the dark room and watching you crawl into the bed with an expectant, innocent look directed at him.

Keegan can’t help it.

He’s under the sheets and unceremoniously reaching for you without hesitation. Feeling his callouses catch on your skin and wincing when he hears his rough palms scratch at you. No matter how rough it feels, you’re still sliding closer. Careful of bruises and cuts, tucking yourself against him and using one arm to guide his head against your chest. Laying just above him. Incentivizing him to hug tightly to you and tuck his head under your chin. Allowing this unfeeling soldier to hide in the temporary shelter of your heartbeat.

You rub his head, and feel short, clipped, hair tickle your fingertips. Soft from a shampoo and condition after weeks away in sand that made the bathroom floor feel gritty. You’re almost always pressing kisses to his forehead and using your other hand to rub over his brow bone and bridge of his nose. Seeing in the nighttime shadow where his face paint has settled into wrinkles that you didn’t manage to wash off in the shower. Looking at long, black eyelashes that flutter a bit when you scratch up and down the back of his neck.

“You’re so pretty…” You always talk to him like this. Unable to keep from spouting praise that wells up after long periods of not knowing if he’s alive, let alone safe.

You’re not dumb. You know he’s dangerous. Maybe even a monster in some people’s eyes. But it’s a necessary evil, and it’s something you came to terms with easily. Because you didn’t just see him for the guns and direct orders. You got to witness moments like this where he’s nothing but a man in desperate need of humanity. Hungry for connection. Soft touches… and whether he liked it or not, the praises that you whisper against his pink-tipped ears.

“You’re the pretty one, dollie.” He grumbles back, squeezing your hip in a big hand.

It makes your face heat up just ask quickly when he pulls that one out. Almost always with a nickname up his sleeve that just makes it all that much more worth it. But being anything other than your own name to him… it’s a different kind of reward. One that has you smiling like a fool as you get sleepier. Nearly petting him to sleep, and hoping to god you can stay awake longer than he does just to prove you’re willing to. Maybe willing isn’t even strong enough…

Any way you think about it, there’s a sense of duty you hold much like his to a career as a ghost. Yours stemming from love so deep for this man that it’s painful watching him crawl to you as a last resort. Despising what or whoever made him feel like wanting a warm bed, and someone to look after him when he’s weak, is wrong. God it’s enough to make you angry. Looking down at a man who could make anyone tremble, and seeing him curled up against your chest like he’s clinging to a shred of comfort. If you thought picking up a gun alongside him would change things, you’re certain you’d have done it years ago. Right when all of this started and Keegan was much more proud. Unwilling to relent as easily as he does now.

But it took that long because there wasn’t another option.

He wouldn’t have allowed it if you were any different of a person, or hadn’t possessed the patience for him to let go like this. You’re positive no one knows that this is where he runs to when things get too hard. None of his team, and with no family to speak of, you’re left as his final resort, but the only one he trusts. Unlike Keegan who avoids his medal pinnings with sheer hatred, you wear your designation proudly. You’re always shining it… polishing it… looking for the first opportunity to show just how willing you are. Just for the chance to hold him. Anything to feel his breathing even out after weeks of holding it. Anything to clean him up. Put him back together.

All while silently praying that it’ll be the last time. Wishing he’d see that you aren’t a last resort, and that he can lay here as long as he wants without losing the worth he assigned to himself after becoming a ghost. Wondering when it’ll come to an end where he can come back and hang up the guns laying on your bedroom floor, forever. Patiently anticipating the day you can not have to wait until he’s asleep to say exactly how you feel.

“I love you, Keegan…”

comments & reblogs are always appreciated 🤎

[two-white-butterflies]

no time to die | c16 | part three

Description: After a messy breakup with Charles Leclerc. You resort to feuding with him online. In where, he hates your guts.

Pairing: charles leclerc/actress!reader

part two |

YNMakesItSparkle: 'What Was I Made For?' will be out at MIDNIGHT. 💜🌙 Being in the Barbie Movie as 'Pop-star Barbie' was super fun!

liked by Charles_Leclerc, margotrobbie and 1,293,011 others

comments

isingsongs22: PRINCESS AND THE POPSTAR FLASHBACKS 😭 I remember when u used to voice both the characters

margotrobbie: the song was so moving 💞 - YNMakesItSparkle: Thank you, Barbie 😉

Carlossainz55: 1 Ticket for Barbie, please. 😁

"Remember when we used to play the piano together," you smiled - seating on the chair allotted for the Grand Piano. The party was happening in the next room, but you couldn't help but feel drawn to the piano that you've played a thousand times. This used to be your home too. "It was nice, no?" he answered, sitting down beside you.

You always told yourself that you would never look back. That you'd forget about the pain that follows you like a shadow. But you always did - like Orpheus, you always looked back. And where did that lead you to? Missing a man who was never yours to begin with.

"I guess it wasn't all horrible," you chuckled, playing a small melody.

Canon in D.

A cliche - but it was the first song that you've ever played him.

"Is this the part where?" he glanced to look at you - a mischievous smile on his face. "Where?" you stopped playing. He looks forward, to the guests who were beginning to flood the gallery. "I tell you that in another life I would've enjoyed doing laundry and taxes with you." he quoted the first film that you watched as an official couple.

"Whatever you say, Leclerc." you scoff.

YNMakesItSparkle: one day you'll wake up and find that you're still missing me. and your heart stars to wonder, where on this earth i could be? 💜✨

liked by Carlossainz55, taylorswift and 1,012,289 others

comments

charlesandynuniverse: THIS IS YN-CHARLES CODED

Hope2Die: You broke up w/ him for a reason

lovingittleclerc: u look too old to be with him LOL

Charles_Leclerc: I'm not broke. I'm just a broken-hearted man.

liked by Carlossainz55 and 982,190 likes

comments

CharlesILoveYou: Smells like relapsing 🤣

YNISMYMOMMY: one day you'll wake up and find that you're still missing me. and your heart stars to wonder, where on this earth i could be? - Y/N

f1gossipblog: They were in the same party yesterday 💀

YNMakesItSparkle: He stayed the same, all of me changed like midnight rain. 😭 @taylorswift I cannot stop playing ur album.

liked by taylorswift, and 1,239,001 others

comments

selenagomez: ���️

taylorswift: 👀 @danielricciardo thoughts? - danielricciardo: hm

magnificent24: TAYLOR SWIFT AND DANNY RIC?? MY TWO WORLDS ARE COLLIDING

Charles_Leclerc: To you I can admit, that I'm just too soft for all of it.

liked by Carlossainz55 and 912,192 others

comments

YNMakesItSparkle: 🤣

@perihelioneclipse @hiraethrhapsody @omgsuperstarg @reidsworld @charles-eclair16 @ferraribabe @cl16gf @yourrrrrprefffffect @thatgirlthatreadswattpad @fdl305 @incoherenciass @sassyheroneckgiant @ietss @newlifeforus @ferraribabe @charles-eclair16 @karmabyfernando @gaslysainz @puffycreamcakes @whoreks @be-your-coffee-pot @reblogging-all-i-read

[azurevi]

wild roses

pairing: leona x gn!reader, heavy jack & reader (reader = prefect)

summary: ace and deuce’s matchmaking plan for valentine’s day goes wrong, and both you and leona realize that something needs to be changed in your relationship. (fluff, secret relationship, bad matchmaking, possibly ooc leona 😔) 9k (chonky)

note: HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY!!! ok. first of all, jack is there for like, a majority of the fic because i felt bad just using him as a plot device and decided to write more about his interaction with reader. but it’s still somehow centered around leona and reader. secondly, this is like really messy but i didn’t have time to flesh out everything i already had to cut down on what i originally planned 💀 hope y’all enjoy it anyways ^^

“I don’t know if this is a good idea, Ace.” Deuce rubbed his chin, looking between the redhead and the wrinkled paper titled ‘ The Foolproof Matchmaking Plan: 2023 ’. He wasn’t sure if he should be more concerned about the content or the implication that this could become an annual thing.

“No, no, you don’t understand,” Ace was pacing and gesticulating. “This will work for sure, because we already know for a fact that there’s something going on between the prefect and Jack. All they need is a little push!”

“Do we though? I mean, we could’ve misinterpreted everything. Not to mention how much trouble we’ll be in if the plan falls through.”

“Sure, both of them are going to whoop our asses if it fails, but if it works, we will appear in their wedding speeches. It’s a risk I’m willing to take. If you really need concrete evidence, turn to the back of the paper.”

Deuce did as told, and found another list scribbled on the page.

Undeniable signs that they are into each other (in case Deuce acts like an idiot and doubts my plan) 

The prefect is always spending time at the Savanaclaw dorm. There must be a reason they choose it over Heartslabyul, where TWO of their best friends reside.

Last time we went over, we literally found a Savanaclaw uniform mixed in the prefect’s laundry. They're already dating in all but name!

Asked the prefect last time what their type was: tall, strong, has a secret soft side. Who else fits all the criteria if not Jack?

They're always talking among themselves when we’re hanging out as a group. 

They always have this stupid lovesick look on their faces whenever they get a notification. I bet my lunch money they're texting each other.

T

“T?” 

“Trein confiscated it before I could finish writing that line.” He scratched his head. “The point is, the signs are right in front of us! Or are you so blind that you can’t see it?”

“I'm not blind-”

Ace sighed. “I know that you don’t have a lot of experiences when it comes to romance, but still-”

“Wrong! I had a whole group of admirers back when I was… ugh. Nevermind, it's not something I'm proud of. I am capable of picking up signs of romantic interest, and my expertise tells me… that you are right. They are interested in each other!”

How gullible. Ace had to stifle his urge to laugh. “I am honored that you deem my opinion valid, oh great romance expert. So are you on board or not?”

Success was pretty much in the bag, but he asked nonetheless, watching as Deuce struggled with his conscience. Finally, with a stern look, he nodded. “I’m in, for the happiness of my friends. When do we carry this out?”

Ace straightened his spine, snatching the paper out of his hands and straightening it. With a sly smirk, he said, “Tomorrow, Valentine’s Day.”

———

The school had this ‘candy delivery’ thing going on for Valentine’s Day, and you happened to have garnered enough secret admirers that the organizers had to pack your sweets into a basket. As soon as you'd gotten it from your locker, you hugged it close to yourself and rushed into the room owned by the Gargoyle Research Society. Malleus was the only one who used it anyway, and he’d long ago given you the permission to enter as you pleased.

Anticipation coursed through your veins as you rummaged through the pile, looking for one specific note. You weren’t sure whether Leona had participated in something like this— chances were he would've considered it ‘an asinine way to help cowards confess their feelings’— but it didn’t stop you from hoping.

After putting aside a few chocolates and their atrocious pick up lines, you finally found the one you’d been looking for. It was a single candy wrapped in a yellow wrapper, and it looked like the kind of stuff teachers gave out to kindergarteners who answered questions in class. 

A note was stapled around it. You unrolled it to find a familiar handwriting. 

Happy Valentine’s Day. Although this event appears to be an asinine way to help pathetic cowards confess their feelings, I reckon that I should still give you something since you mentioned looking forward to it. I will meet you at Ramshackle tonight, 8pm sharp. — Leona 

With a smile curling your lips, you ripped the wrapper and popped the candy into your mouth. The fruity sweetness coated your tongue as you pulled your phone out.

The line rang for a few seconds before it got through. “Hello?” He husked.

“Good morning, is this Mr. Kingscholar?”

“Cut it out.” It sounded like he was shuffling in bed. “I take it that you’ve received the candy thing?”

“Yup. And the invitation. Have you just woken up?”

“Thanks to you, yes.” 

Rapid knocks appeared in the background, and he cussed under his breath.

“Is that Ruggie?” You chuckled.

“Yea. He’s about to break the door. I’ll see you tonight, ‘kay? Don’t forget about it.”

“As if I would. I’ll make sure the coast is clear when you arrive.”

“Yea,” he said with a hint of hesitation, as if he was taken aback by your words. “Okay. Bye.”

Having to sneak around and meet up was nothing new to you. From the very beginning, you’d agreed to keep your relationship under wraps. 

While his brother was usually preoccupied with more crucial matters, Leona was still a royalty, and words spread like wildfire in this school. People were bound to talk if he were to be seen with a romantic partner, and they were probably going to tell their mothers, who would tell the other mothers, on and on until the media caught wind. Then the chamberlains would get involved, eventually alerting his brother.

Knowing Farena, he'd probably make a fuss of you, demanding a dinner and a private audience. On top of that, all kinds of reporters would be knocking on the door, trying to get a candid photo of you two. If that happened, his chances of getting a good sleep would drop to zero. Or worse, they would bring unnecessary burdens to you.

As for you, your reasons were simple: your friends would never leave you alone if they knew of your love life. Ever since they'd noticed the different air around you, they'd been not-so-subtly trying to figure out whether you were seeing someone. They were definitely going to tease the living hell out of you once they figured it out, so you’d rather dodge all the troubles.

Plus, it was pretty nice to have this quiet little thing going on between you, just that it's hard to pretend like you didn’t want to throw yourself at him in the corridor sometimes.

Really, it’s nice.

Despite your intention to maintain discretion, so far two people had already blown your cover. The first was Ruggie, no surprises there. The second was Jack, who walked in on your napping session at the botanical garden. (That one’s on you, you’d totally forgotten to be discreet.) 

Both of them were trustworthy friends, so it didn’t bother you. But if someone like Ace or Deuce was to find out…

A chill crawled down your spine.

As if on cue, you heard their voices outside and hurriedly stuffed the note into your pocket.

“Where did they go?” Deuce asked.

“I don’t know, man. Maybe they went back already?”

“Let’s just call them.”

You scrambled to mute your phone, but Deuce was faster. The ringtone penetrated the silence in the hallway, and not a second later, the door was opened.

“Hey, guys.” You smiled innocently.

“What are you doing here?” Ace poked his head in, a knowing look dawning on his face. “Ahhhh, I see. Are you perhaps looking for candies from a special someone?”

“Nope.” You stood up and hung the basket around your elbow. “I was just checking to see if one of you guys would give me something. The result is heartbreaking, by the way.”

They shared a suspicious look. 

“Allow us to piece your heart back together then. We have a mission from Sam.” Deuce fished out a piece of folded paper from his jacket. “Gotta pick up something from town.”

“Great. Let’s go.” You wiped the invisible dust from your pants. It was always a treat to be able to leave the campus, and the trip might give you an opportunity to buy some flowers for tonight's date.

“Nuh-uh, not so fast.” Ace threw his arm around your shoulder. “We are going to make a stop at Savanaclaw.”

———

Ruggie was the first to greet you as you stepped out of the mirror, a large sack swung over his shoulder. He looked like Santa Claus. “Morning! Are you looking for Leona?”

“Nah, we’re here for Jack.” Ace said.

“Then he should be in his room.” Ruggie pointed vaguely behind himself, and your friends headed over, leaving you two alone.

“You’re quite the popular hyena, aren’t you?” You jutted your jaw at the bag.

“This? Nah. I just collected them from people who don’t like sweets.” He eyed your basket. “Any chance you’re one of them?”

“I mean, I’ve already got the one I want, so…” you handed him the whole thing, and his grin grew wider. Grim would've whined about it if he'd been here, but he was too busy getting his fill at Kalim’s.

“Touche. Between you and me, Leona actually spent days ruminating on what to do for Valentine’s Day. You didn’t hear it from me though.”

Thank the heavens no one was around to catch your lovestruck expression.

Speaking of the devils, Ace and Deuce promptly returned with Jack. Trailing behind by a few steps was a grumpy Leona. His eyes spotted you first, softened around the edges, before returning to drill holes in the back of Ace’s head.

Jack greeted you as soon as you were all standing together. “We’re running errands for Sam right? Let’s get to it.”

“Yes-”

“Not so fast.” Leona spoke over Deuce. “I’m coming. Jack can stay.”

“Woah, Sam’s permit only says our names, so technically you can't be off schoolground.” Ace waves the paper in the air, passing him a pointed look.

“I don’t care. There's no way I'll let you trouble magnets go out on your own.” 

“Relax, we’re not that unruly. Plus Jack's here, he’s our voice of reason.” 

Jack nodded firmly. “That’s right, I’ll make sure they don’t fall out of line.”

The irritation on Leona’s face was indisputable. Something was definitely going on in his head. 

“Be real here, why would you even want to come with us? You don’t care if we got into trouble.” Ace scrunched his face into a frown.

Leona stared down at your red-haired friend before his gaze moved to you, unreadable yet solemn. Perhaps he was anxious that you couldn’t make it back in time for the date.

“Don’t worry, we will be back before it gets dark.” Your addition seemed to be making things worse for him. He clicked his tongue and swiveled around, tearing himself away from this mess. 

After some contemplation, he bit out, “Fine, go have your fun.” 

With that finally settled, Ace and Deuce ecstatically looped their arms around Jack’s and your elbows, as if preventing you from running away, and hopped into the mirror. The last thing you saw was Leona mumbling something to Ruggie and the drop of the hyena’s jaw.

———

The townspeople took Valentine’s Day a lot more seriously than you’d expected. Bakeries had all kinds of pastries displayed readily to the lengthening queue, and customers swarmed into flower shops in hope of grabbing the last bouquets available. Even booksellers decided to join in on the fun, slapping discounts on all romance novels and comics alike. Just around the corner, a few buskers were playing some sappy love songs on their guitars in front of a thin audience.

“It’s like a whole festival here.” You commented as you weaved through the crowd with Jack. He was tall enough that you didn’t have to worry about losing him in the waves. Meanwhile, Ace and Deuce were keeping up from behind, engrossed in their own conversation. 

“I agree. I didn’t expect Valentine’s Day to be such a big deal.” He said.

“You’re not the kind of people who think it unnecessary, are you?”

“Not really. You can express your love any other day, so it’s kind of pointless from that point of view, but I guess it’s a good opportunity for people to confess their feelings.”

“I also like to think of it as a reminder for people to show their love more bravely.” You caught sight of a heart-shaped chocolate the size of a cauldron through a shop window. “...Though it can also become an unfortunate tool for capitalism.”

“I assume that you will be celebrating?”

You sensed what he was hinting at. “Yup, after some convincing. By the way, is it just me or are Ace and Deuce acting a bit weird today?”

“I thought I was the only one.” He looked back briefly, though he couldn't spot anyone with their distinctive hair colors. They were probably just distracted somewhere. “They barged into my room and told me to dress up. Who dresses up to run errands?”

Evidently he went along, seeing as how he was wearing a white dress shirt instead of his usual comfy t-shirts. 

“You don’t think they’re pranking us, are they?” 

“I wouldn’t put it past them.”

Just then, your phone vibrated in your pocket. You tugged at Jack's sleeve to pull him to the side of the road. It was a rare text from Leona.

Leona: where are you?

You: just got into town

You: good thing you didn't come along, you would've gagged at the amount of lovey-dovey stuff here

Leona: so you don't know

You: ?

He spent a few seconds typing and re-typing. In your wait, you looked up and found your two friends still missing.

Leona: they're trying to set you up with jack.

What.

What the heck.

Your thoughts sped up. The picture started coming together in your head. No, it made sense. Them insisting that Jack came instead of Leona, literally telling him to dress up? 'Allow us to piece your heart back together'? All of their actions verified Leona's words. 

You: damn, ur right

You: wait, how did you figure it out?

Leona: they told me in my face when they ran into me just now. said that they were going to be matchmakers and put an end to your 'endless pining'

You: -_-

So that's why he was acting all frustrated back there. You stole a glance at Jack, who was trying to call your friends, albeit to no avail. He was definitely not going to like what he was about to hear.

You: at least we now know of their absurd plan. i'll tell jack

Leona: k

You: are you upset?

Leona: no. even if i were, i would only be upset with your nosy friends

Leona: just make sure to come back on time. you were the one who wanted to celebrate vday after all

You: roger that :)

"Was that one of them?" Jack asked as you pocketed your phone.

"Nope. You can stop calling, by the way. They're not going to answer."

He frowned as you pulled the shopping list out of his hand. "Why?"

"Because they left us alone on purpose. They're trying to play cupid." You waved the unfolded paper in front of his face. He read the content carefully before sputtering. In his head, he tried to put two and two together. The moment it all clicked, his shoulders tensed. "No way."

It was an actual shopping list from Sam, stamped by him and all, but the items were absolutely ludicrous, not to mention obvious. Roses, jewelry, plushies… and the definite proof that he was in on it, or was at least held at gunpoint as he drafted the list: the line ‘Treat yourself, little imps! Everything’s on me’ at the bottom of the page. Despite its absurdity, it was also a binding term. If you failed to get everything as instructed, he had the right to report you for leaving the campus and skipping some classes without a justified cause.

Not that he would, right?

As much as you hated to admit, there didn't seem to be a way you could get out of this mess.

"What do we do?" He shook his head. "I don't even know how they got the idea of bringing us together. And you were supposed to spend the day with Leona, not me. This is so messed up-"

"Hey, it's okay. Leona already knows. He was the one who told me."

He blinked at you blankly. "Is he going to come after me?"

You let out a laugh. "Not on my watch. Look, how about we just go along with it and get everything on the list? Then we will head back on time and I can have my date with Leona. After that we can dangle Ace and Deuce upside down outside Ramshackle."

Jack turned to the crowd, donning his deep-in-thought look. You could almost see the cogwheels moving in his brain, trying to find a way to avoid this. There was none. He shook his head at last, "Alright, let's get the stuff as soon as possible."

———

After deciding that you would buy the roses first, the two of you ventured through the streets to find a less packed flower shop. As you strayed farther from the center of the town, the number of pedestrians dwindled, and soon you could walk side by side without being bumped into and feeling your shoulder dislocate.

The silence between you was not awkward, but it was stretched, begging to be filled. Jack had always had the habit of using his words sparingly, believing that actions spoke louder, but this was different. You could tell that he was on edge, eyes darting around as if trying to catch every passing shadow, hands stuffed in his pockets, tail swishing stiffly. 

He was uncomfortable. And he was acting like he wasn't, because that's what he'd been saying for the past thirty minutes. Eventually you gave up, opting to protect that tense little bubble surrounding you.

As much as you'd like to argue that this wasn't how you usually interacted, you realized that you couldn't. Truth was, you seldom hung out outside of a group setting, and even when you were alone, it was usually for matters like how he could help cover you up as you left the group to find your favorite lion, and homework. 

To be frank, you didn't know that much about Jack.

A humble little shop was chosen at last, but even it had quite the amount of customers loitering around, most of them attempting to conceal their last-minute anxiousness. You assumed that they must've forgotten to buy something beforehand. 

"How may I help you, lovebirds?" A tall woman with baby-blue glasses greeted you enthusiastically. Jack tensed up like someone had just stepped on his tail.

"Would you happen to have red roses?" You asked instead.

"Oh, of course. How many would you like? A lot of couples go for a hundred, but the really earnest ones go for as much as two. You two look quite sweet together, perhaps you would–"

"We're not," Jack rushed to say. "We're not a couple."

"Oh," the shopkeeper squinted at you. "Ohhh… it's like that, huh? In that case, you should take a look at this guide," she pulled out a laminated sheet and slid it across the wooden counter.

It was a comprehensive guide to the number of roses and all of their meanings, from one to twenty, then skipping to hundreds and thousands. 

"Who would buy three thousand roses?" You whispered to Jack.

"I don't know," he said. "How many should we get?"

Most of the numbers carried love declarations, but there was one that fit. "How about thirteen?" 'Friends forever'.

"Looks good."

"Alright, we'll get thirteen," you gave the sheet back to the lady. She checked your choice briefly, looked up, lifted her glasses with her index finger, then nodded meaningfully. 

"Alright, thirteen red roses coming right up. You can fill this up while you're waiting." She handed you another white card and a black marker to be put together with the bouquet. The vaguely printed words instructed you to write some 'sweet words for your beloved'.

When you turned to Jack for help, he looked like he was going to run out of the shop at any given moment.

"Hey, is everything alright?" You questioned. "And don't lie to me, I can tell."

He ruffled his snowy hair, averting his eyes. "I apologize. It's just… I'm not very comfortable with all this coupley stuff."

You nodded slowly, contemplating his words. 

"It's not you, don't worry, it's just…" he shut his eyes, trying to escape the embarrassment. "You're Leona's partner, and I'm just a friend. It feels wrong to do all this with you."

Oh. Oh. 

Shit. You almost felt bad for not figuring that out by yourself. Jack, even after everything, still looked up to Leona as an accomplished role model. Not to mention he was his dorm leader and a literal force to be reckoned with. He probably thought that he was crossing some lines. 

Maybe he was. Perhaps there were unspoken rules among beastmen. And lions were known to be protective of their own pride…

When you thought about it this way, it wasn’t hard to see why he felt like a fish out of water at all. 

You tapped the marker against the counter. You never imagined that dating Leona would inadvertently cause Jack to be extra careful around you, but now that you knew, you were determined to thaw the ice. “How about we treat this as a normal, friendly hangout?” 

He arched his brow, clearly finding the idea of pretending you weren't surrounded by romance-centric decorations all around you unrealistic.

"Valentine's Day is just an excuse to promote love anyways, and love is not limited to romance, you know?" You took off the cap on the marker and started scribbling. "I can write some sweet words for you as a friend too. For one, I admire your unerring determination and your strong morals. There you go."

There was still uncertainty shimmering in his eyes as he took in your written words, but eventually he nodded. "Fine, I'll give it a try. I admire your bravery and courage."

"Aw, thank you, my dear friend." You elbowed him playfully, and he stifled a grin. 

"Here's your order, darlings!" The shopkeeper came back with the roses hugged by a pink wrapping paper. It looked like she was trying very hard not to peek at what you'd written down on the card.  You paid for the flowers and passed your thanks before heading out to the next mission.

“The best pastries in town… should we go to the pâtisserie Vil mentioned before?” Jack suggested. You agreed in a blink; it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to crown it the best among its competitors in the world.

Though on second thought, it didn't seem like a feasible idea after all. A dense group of exasperated customers had blocked the front of the shop, so much so that you could only see the boss' hands waving in the air like a drowning man's. Everyone's voices overlapped, but you could make out some common protests: not enough, waited for a long time, unfair, et cetera. 

"-ys. GUYS!" The boss' squeaky voice somehow managed to calm the ocean of complaints. The whole street dropped to silence at his command. "We are really sorry, but this is the only one we have left!"

"Then you should've baked more!' A gruff voice yelled.

"Maybe you should've ordered earlier!" The boss countered. "Anyways, I know y'all aren't going to leave me alone anyways, so to be fair," he made an air quote. "I'll let y'all fight for it. Whoever is the best at arm wrestling gets the last piece."

You turned to Jack. He bobbed his head knowingly.

Immediately, people got into groups and looked for any kind of flat surfaces– the outdoor seats of a nearby restaurant, the top of the pâtisserie's empty display case. Two men were laying on their stomachs on the gritty pavement. The crowd dispersed like ants under a rock, desperate to get that final piece of cake.

Jack grimaced. "I fear Valentine's Day is driving people insane."

"Hopefully not us." Bowing forward, you tried to take a look at the pâtisserie's sole survivor. An opening between two struggling contestants revealed that it was a piece of fruit cake.

"Pear compote." Jack blurted out.

"What?"

"That's pear compote dripped on top."

There was a distant… longing in his eyes. "Is that what you like?"

"It's my favorite. It's just the right amount of sweet, it's versatile, and my mum used to make it all the time. Everyone in my family likes it, in fact. I wish I'd brought a few more jars with me."

"Well, I'm sure we can get you the cake. I don't think there's anyone who can beat you in arm wrestling."

"No. There's one."

You crooked your brow.

He tipped his head back, staring at the sky as he relieved the memory. "Back then, Leona beat me effortlessly even after I used my unique magic."

"Whaaat." You dragged out the word. "For real?"

"I couldn't believe it at first too. It was humbling, to say the least."

"I bet I can beat him though." You mused. 

He exhaled sharply. "This is a battle of physical strength, not running head first into troubles."

"Unprovoked. But it's also a battle of wits. There's quite a few of his weaknesses I can use." The random theory took a contemplative turn as you started counting the cards up your sleeves: Leona might look like he had a rock for a heart, but you pulled a rare reaction from him the first time you called him your king. Caressing the back of his ears always elicited honest shivers. Would a smothering look or a wink catch him off guard? Hopefully he wouldn't mind you experimenting on him.

"You're probably one of the very few people who can say that." Jack shifted his weight to his other foot, briefly scanning the progress of the contestants before adopting a low voice. "I hope you don't mind me asking, it's been on my mind for some time now. How did you actually end up together? I'm aware that you got close after the Magift tournament, but the rest was a mystery… Nah, forget it. I shouldn't violate your privacy."

"I don't mind sharing," you reassured him. "Obviously it wasn't easy. He barely cared about me at first, even after the tournament, but I was determined to get to know him. There's no shell I can't crack, after all. He's strong and fierce and self-assured, but I also sensed that there was a brightness inside him that got snuffed out over time. I'm sure you're aware too. 

Anyways, the more we opened up to each other, the more I realized that he's not who he seemed to be on the surface. He's caring in his own way, and he's unfaltering when he has his mind set on a goal. His words may appear sharp, but he's not unsympathetic. Despite his arrogance, he's not so full of himself that he can't admit his faults. Where no one noticed, he was the one who found out that I was feeling out of place here… I got to know so many new sides to him. To be honest, I wasn't planning to fall in love, but this kind of thing just happens, like soft knocks on the door."

A tall woman marched past you, cursing loudly after losing her game. You stepped aside, realizing now that Jack had gone quiet. "Sorry for rambling, I got caught up in myself."

"Don't apologize. I think that it's sweet," there was a hint of a smile on his face. "You looked like my sister whenever she sees a pink morning sky just now. It's great to have someone you can rely on wholeheartedly. I'm sure he feels the same about you."

You were certain of that too. "Aw, stop. You're making me embarrassed." You punched his arm without a concern for your force; he probably didn't even feel it. 

The various battles seemed to have narrowed down to a few. The boss was standing in front of two straining men, faces red with blood, veins bulging on their necks. A battle cry forced its way out of one of them, only for him to be overwhelmed immediately. His body was loose as his boyfriend dragged him off the ground.

"Jeez. Alright, is there anyone else?" The boss asked. The victorious guy smashed his fists together, shooting silent warnings at anyone who was bold enough to even consider challenging him. No one moved.

"Me." Jack stepped forward, and you did a small, encouraging whoop from behind. The man glared into his eyes. He wasn't a lot shorter than Jack, and their physiques were similar, but you had faith in your friend.

"Start whenever you want, I'm getting sick of this." The boss mumbled.

Jack bowed his head respectfully before positioning his elbow on top of the counter, flexing his fingers. His rival mirrored him, assuming a strong grip on his hand. 

It started without a countdown, like they managed to communicate with facial expressions alone. All around you were held breaths as they struggled against each other–

–for one second. Jack immediately slammed the man's arm down like he was flipping a book.

"What the hell?" He cried out, holding his wrist in disbelief before making a run for it, as though in shame. 

"Congrats, you've won the cake!" The boss feigned enthusiasm. When the bystanders booed, he resumed his annoyed scowl, "Go home! It was a fair game!"

"That didn't go as expected," Jack told you as you watched the cake enter the safe protection of the corrugated box. "But I'm glad we won."

"All thanks to you. I didn't even get to chant my slogan. We will, we will, rock you-"

"Please stop."

"Okay." 

Laughter bubbled out of you a second later. Even he failed to hold in the titters that slipped past his lips as he shook his head. The ice was melting away already.

Jack volunteered to hold both the bouquet and the cake, so you took on the role of navigation. "Next up, we need to buy jewelry. I know a place."

It was a chain store of a brand Vil had not only done promotion for, but also personally approved of, so the quality was sure to be high. But so was the price. 

The two of you stood silently in front of the suited employee who went by Eris, staring unblinkingly at the silvery chains in the vitrine. The price tags glared back at you, who looked like you'd wandered in by accident.

"I was going to propose getting an expensive one since it's not our money anyways, but even the cheapest earring is worth ten times my life." You whispered.

"I wouldn't compare you with an earring, but I agree with the prices." 

"May I help you?" Eris asked for the third time since you'd entered the shop. 'We'll have a look around' probably wasn't going to work anymore. "Any particular kinds of accessories you're looking for?"

The thing was, neither of you wore that much jewelry anyways. It would only get in the way of his training, and you could barely spare money for your friends' birthdays, let alone luxury like this. But throwing it into your drawer with other miscellaneous trinkets was just sinister. 

"How about rings? We have promise rings for couples–"

"No, thanks."

"How about necklaces?" You suggested, which earned a satisfied look from Eris as she left to find you some styles.

"Why necklaces?" Jack asked.

"Well, neither of us is going to wear it, so I thought, why not give it to your cacti? You can put it around the pot. It'll be like dressing them up."

“A designer necklace for my cacti?” His brows knitted into a disapproving frown. “I mean, they deserve nothing less, but still-”

“Then it’s settled.” You replied. Eris arrived just then and ended any argument that might be forming in his head.

Most of the necklaces came in pairs, and each pair held no significant differences between one another. Sure, the charms varied in shapes and colors, but they were all just… argent.

Your attention landed on the pair on the fair right. Each half had a hand-shaped ornament that fit into each other when put together. The rest were pretty much the same: two halves of a heart, two halves of a cat, the same design but flipped over.

Your mind wandered. Adjacent to you was another couple admiring the opal bracelets hugging their wrists. Streaks of azure swirled within each crystal, as if there was a vast sea contained in every single one.

You really weren’t a jewelry person, yet once in a while, this kind of thing still had you indulging in daydreams. And only daydreams. It would be stupid to wear matching accessories anyways. It defeated the purpose of the whole secret relationship thing.

"In that case, I'll have this one." Jack referred to the pendant with a leaf-shaped charm. "Just one, thank you."

Eris looked bewildered, but she shrugged it off, picking up the chain and shelving the others away. It still hurt when you had to fish out all the money you had and then borrow some from Jack, but the knowledge that you could claim it all back gave a little relief to your throbbing wallet.

Jack pocketed the velvety box. "I hope it looks good with my cacti."

"Of course it will, I have immaculate taste." You wiped the tip of your nose with your thumb. 

Time flew past without a sound. You'd left school mid-afternoon, and now the blue sky had already been painted over with an amalgamation of warm hues. Your phone showed that it was already six. "We're kind of against the clock. Let's grab the last item and head back."

Your last stop was the local gift store, where a bunch of plushies and toys were displayed. As expected, the dolls were all related to love in all kinds of ways. There was a pink bear holding a love letter, two frogs with their hands sewn together, an elephant hugging a pillow in the shape of a heart. The only ones exempt from the influence of Valentine's Day were at the back of the shop. They were graduation plush toys and one that specifically said 'Happy Mother's Day'.

"Once again, this isn't my thing. I feel like you would be more interested…" he trailed off, spinning around to look for you. "Prefect?"

"Jack! Look at this! It's adorable!" You waved him over. In your hands were two avocado dolls, one with the seed in the middle and the other without. "Oh my goodness. And this!"

You picked up two monkeys that had their arms wrapped around each other. The fluffy fur seemed to melt away under your touch, and their hands could reach all the way around your waist. 

Truth was you'd already made something for Leona, but these monkeys? It was love at first sight. He was always complaining about your inability to stay over in his room anyways, so this could work as the perfect substitute. Even though he wasn't the type to hug plushies as he slept (it would probably end up on the floor), it would still remind you of each other. No one would even notice. It's not like people could just wander into his room. And yours–

Your dorm was basically a public area by now. There were times when Sebek and Epel invited themselves over and scared the living hell out of you because you'd left your phone inside with Leona's contact on the screen. Every time you had an impromptu sleepover, they made a competition out of stealing your plushies, except Sebek who had his own Malleus cushion. Deuce might not take note of the new plush member, but Ace was observant to a fault. You could already hear his voice yelling 'why do you have this monkey plush and where is the other one' in your ears.

"Then let's buy it." Jack said. 

You shook your head ruefully. "Ehh, maybe not. Now that I think about it, I don't really have that much space left on my bed."

"I thought you'd started invading Grim's?"

"Yea, but still." Returning the monkeys to the shelf, you turned around and started searching around again. 

If Ace was observant, then Jack was eagle-eyed, always detecting details in the most unlikely places. It wasn't difficult for him to notice where your attention had drifted off to back at the jewelry shop either. 

He cleared his throat. "So, about you and Leona. Have you decided how long the secrecy will go on for?"

You petted each plush you walked past, ruffling their heads. "Not yet. We'll see."

"Right," he turned the words over in his head, looking for a more natural approach. "But you’re both fine with the arrangement, obviously.”

“Of course.” You had to be. After all, you had your own reasons for keeping up the confidentiality, and you’d hate to be involved in any royal scandal Leona had mentioned. Even if the rules weighed on you at times, it was still better than attracting attention, right? “I think so.”

All this time you’d been walking on tip-toes believing that it could do more good than harm, but a short trip down memory lane proved otherwise: That one time you'd had to hide Leona in the closet, his legs had gotten so sore that you'd spent the whole light massaging the stiffness away. Your forehead was swollen for days after running into a tree while staying out of Rook’s watchful eyes. All those times you’d had to swallow the words you wanted to say to each other in public, a much needed embrace reduced to a pat on the shoulder.

It was supposed to get Ace and his naive accomplice off your back, but look where you were now: entangled in a web of misunderstandings, not only did it not work as intended, but you also got Jack into this predicament.

“...Back home, my brother always picks fights with my sister,” Jack started. “He’s at the age where he feels the need to act like an ass in any given situation. He’s stubborn about it too. Never apologizes to her afterwards. They could spend days ignoring each other.

Any time it happens when I’m around, I try to figure out how they feel. My sister thinks that he probably hates her, that’s why they never see eye to eye. Meanwhile he does feel sorry, but he doesn't know how to get over his ego."

"Typical siblings." 

"That's right. And then I sit them down and make them talk to each other."

"And it works?"

"Like a charm. Effective communication can pretty much solve half of the conflicts in the world, but it's hard to take the first step, especially when you don't know what the other person is thinking."

You let his words sink in, turning them over in your head. If you were to lay your heart completely bare, it would certainly be singing a different tune. Perhaps a chat would really make things better instead of pretending that nothing was out of place.

"You have a point there." It wasn't hard to grasp what he was trying to say, but if he wanted to be roundabout about it, then you weren't going to bring it to light. 

The two of you came to a stop in front of a felt box holding five keychains, a sweet rendition of a puppy family. He picked it up carefully. "Would you mind if I got this? My sister has always liked collecting keyrings like these."

"Sure. You're never beating the best big brother allegation, are you?"

A proud smile dawned on his face. "Hopefully not."

By the time you’d ticked off the very last item on the shopping list, night had already fallen. 

“I just realized something awful.” Jack said from behind. He was still holding the roses and cake, while you had the rest. “You didn’t get anything at all. I mean, the cake and the necklace, and even the recipient of this bouquet-”

“Hey, don’t worry. I was the one who ‘invited’ you to hang out, wasn’t I? It’s only fair that I treat you to something nice. Even though it’s Sam’s money. It’s the sentiment that counts.”

His face faltered for a second, then he assumed an earnest expression. “In that case, I promise to make it up to you, not just for the gifts, but also for the amazing company.”

"You're not so bad yourself, Jack."

The mirror portal was situated on a nearby hill, giving you the perfect view of the town under your feet. Streams of people weaved through the streets, the uniform structures and red roofs now adorned by pink banners and decorations. 

A strange sense of satisfaction filled your chest knowing that you’d completely defied what Ace and Deuce had planned for you guys. Although this wasn’t planned, you still had an amazing time roaming around town.

“Let’s head back now.” Jack said. You sent him a nod before stepping through the mirror together.

———

It was 7:45, and you were pacing around your room.

After returning to the campus and claiming the sweet thaumarks from Sam, Jack bid you goodbye and returned to his room trying to juggle all the rewards in his arms, earning envious glares from passing students.

That was half an hour ago. In that time you’d managed to rush back to Ramshackle, got dressed in the most formal outfit you could find in your humble wardrobe, and walked ten laps around the house trying to practice what to say to Leona when he got here. 

Hey, remember when we agreed to keep all of this under wraps? I kind of don’t want to do that anymore. Yea, the press could be after us. Yea, my friends are going to be a pain in the ass. No, I still want to go public with this. 

What if he felt that it was not worth the trouble? You trusted that he would respect your choices, but still-

Rapid knocks on the door pulled you back to reality. You all but stormed down the stairs and rushed to the foyer, swinging open the door.

There he was, clad in a simple black button down shirt and pants, his hair gathered in a high ponytail. In his left hand was a bouquet of roses, and in his right, for some reason, was his broom.

How did he even manage to look perfect in everything he wore? 

“Happy Valentine’s Day, kipenzi,” he stepped in and met you half-way with a kiss, trying to lean in for another when you pulled away. You almost forgot that you’d been anxious just a while ago. 

“Happy Valentine’s to you too, mpenzi,” The nickname never failed to make his tail swish in contentment. You beamed as he handed you the roses. The card indicated that there were 33 in total, and if your memory served you right, it symbolized ‘I love you’ with affection. 

“How was your day with Jack?”

“It was great.” You answered briefly, pulling him into the lounge by his hand.

“Just great?” 

“If you must know, we walked around town and bought tons of stuff. We decided to treat it as a friendly hangout.” 

“I see.” He said tersely, willing his jaw to unclench before you could see it.

“You/re not getting green-eyed, are you?”

“They’ve been green my whole life, sweetheart,” he smirked as you rolled your eyes. 

“Touche.” You headed to the sofa and picked up a huge paper bag. “Ta-da! Here’s something I made you.”

Placing his broom against the wall, he reached inside, expression shifting when he felt the soft fabric. Slowly, he pulled out the content and let it fall to the floor soundlessly.

It was a crocheted blanket big enough to roll both of you into a burrito, the pattern mimicking a chess board. The only detail you’d tweaked were the king pieces, which had been turned into two snoozing lions. 

He spent a good minute observing the blanket, as if trying to take in every single detail. Finally, he asked, “So this is why you couldn’t stay over at my room for the past two months?”

“Yea. It could’ve taken me a month, but I had no prior knowledge about crocheting, so I had to start from the ground up.”

“You could’ve just commissioned someone, you know. Would’ve saved a lot of trouble.” He said mindlessly, running his hand down the smooth yarn. 

“Maybe I should take it back then-”

“Hands off, it’s mine.” His face scrunched up, arms holding the blanket close to himself. During winter, his family had sent him more than enough blankets and duvets, all made with the most exquisite of fabrics, but this might just outshine all of them. “And it’s unique this way. So… thank you.”

If you were going to start the conversation, you reckoned that this was the perfect timing. "There's something I've been-"

"Wait a sec. I have more surprises." He wrapped the blanket around your shoulders so that only your head was uncovered and grabbed his broom. "Close your eyes."

You did as told, pulling the blanket up to shield your face. Some distance away, you heard the light switch flip. "I didn't know you had this many things planned."

It sounded like he was talking from a great height. "You didn't think I was just going to give you roses, did you?" Something cut through the air. "Though it did take me some time to figure out what to do, so you better appreciate it with all your heart."

"Roger that." You paced around in an aimless circle, listening to the faint winds trailing behind him as he flew around the lounge. For a moment you wondered if he was cleaning the place, but it was highly unlikely that he would volunteer doing so. 

"Okay," the next time he spoke, he was right in front of you. "You can look now."

The lights were out, which normally meant the room should be cloaked in darkness, but it was different today. On the roof were densely scattered glow-in-the-dark stickers piercing the dimness, mimicking stars. A few of them extended to the walls, as if the sky was melting. Some were larger in shape, others mere dots, but together, it looked like the whole galaxy had been moved inside.

Your mouth fell open as you took in the constellations spread out in front of you. There was seemingly no word that could encapsulate the feeling welling in your chest.

"I promised that I would show you the night sky of Sunset Savannah before, but the opportunity hasn't presented itself, so this will have to do." He leaned in to observe your face. "Hey. You're not crying, are you?"

"No." You croaked. Half amused and half concerned, he reached for your arm and pulled you into a tight embrace.

Being held by Leona never failed to make you feel like the most treasured person in the world. His fingers threaded in and out of your locks, pressing kisses to the crown of your head as you hid your face in his shoulder. You leaned into him, so close that your hearts might as well melt into one. 

Leona Kingscholar had always shone in every room he was in, but nothing came close to the version of him only you got to see. His love came in both showers and drizzles, both intense and tender. It blew you away and made the lining of your stomach feel warm. He was the island you'd go to when you felt like drowning, the person you could call home in this scarily foreign land. Sometimes it felt like every bad thing would go away so long as he was holding your hand. 

He's undoubtedly the best thing that had ever happened to you, you thought, and you wanted to love him wildly for that. No hushed secrets, no retreating in the dark. You wanted to braid his hair and let the world see. You wanted to let him rest his head on your lap while you worked. You wanted to pass him tooth-rotting notes in class, and you wanted and wanted and wanted. You wanted to liberate all of these hopes and desires.

There was no way you could hide what you felt for him when it was brighter than all the stars in the universe combined.

"I need to talk to you about something." His voice was muffled in your hair. 

"So do I, actually." You tore yourself away, wiping the warm trails on your cheeks.

You followed him and sank onto the floor, shifting closer so you could get under the blanket together. He fixed his gaze on the chair behind you for a second, looking like he was trying to declutter his mind, before returning his attention to you. "What happened with Jack today has got me thinking about things between us."

Your breath hitched. It was like he was reading your mind.

"Most of the blame goes to your dumb friends, obviously. But I believe that some misunderstandings stemmed from us trying to keep everything a secret. And I know I said that it was troublesome to just go public and stuff, which I still agree with, but the truth is…" he ran his hand through his hair and it sprang back into place. "You're worth it. All of it. The press, the nosy halfwits in this school, my family, they are nothing compared to how much I absolutely adore you. Screw the troubles. I want to let everyone know that you're mine, and that I'm yours." A beat later, he added, "Plus, if something like this happens again, I'm not sure I can keep my cool."

He drew a deep breath. "The only question left is, what do you think?"

"I think-" you chuckled, feeling the previous nervousness dissipate. It's funny how effortless it was for you to be on the same page. "I think the absolute same! I've been pondering about how all this secrecy has been keeping us from each other, and I just despise that. Nothing is critical enough that it should be able to make me compromise my feelings..."

His grin grew wider and wider as you rambled on and on, until he had to cut you off with a kiss right there, laced with relief and unbridled joy. You couldn't help but smile into his touch, relishing in the new found solace. It was like your heart had found air again.

Under the starry sky, Leona rested his head against you, hand finding yours and giving it a small squeeze. "I love you."

"I love you more."

"Oh yea, you want to make this a competition?" He quirked his brow, and before you knew it, you were going back and forth without a regard for the passing hours.

You might not have been able to spend the entire Valentines' Day with him, but you knew that there was still tomorrow and the days after that, enough for you to tell him all the ways you loved him as much as you wanted. It would always be like this– bathing in each other's presence, letting the love drape over you two like a blanket. 

Only this time, you wouldn't have to hold back anymore.

———

"Hey," Trey walked up to Cater, who was walking to and fro in the middle of the corridor. "What's this emergency you were talking about?"

"Trey! Thank the Queen of Hearts you're here." He pulled the taller man towards one of the dorm rooms, where the door was slightly ajar. A stern voice could be heard from within, though it was too faint for him to string together a coherent sentence.

"Jack asked me to let him in because he had something urgent to say to Ace and Deuce, and it looked like a storm was verging on his face so I complied," Cater moved aside, signaling Trey to take a peek. "He's been in there for a good while, and it doesn't sound like fun."

Trey let out an exasperated sigh. He'd spent the past few days baking cookies and chocolates, and he could frankly use a break. Still, as the vice dorm leader, he couldn't just turn a blind eye when the underclassmen got into trouble. Bending down, he squeezed one eye shut to get a clear view of what was going on inside.

Jack was standing in the middle of the room, arms in front of his chest, tail moving stiffly. The usual seriousness of his expression was mixed with an edge of irritation. 

On the edge of the bed sat Ace and Deuce, who were as still as twin popsicles, hands clenched on their laps and head low. Deuce looked especially guilty, like he'd just done something terrible like eating Riddle's tarts. Ace was mildly annoyed, but unable to utter a retort.

"...totally inconsiderate and disappointing behavior… the result could've been egregious!"

Trey blinked, then backed away from the door. "We'd better give them some more time. They've done something egregious ."

"Wow. That's a big word. I wonder what exactly they've done…" At Trey's disapproving squint, Cater waved his hand dismissively. "Don't look at me like that! Of course I won't use our cute first years as topics for gossip~"

The two made their ways back to their rooms then. Another thirty minutes later, Jack finally ended his speech in resignation, rendering the two culprits and frankly inadequate cupids speechless. In his deep breaths, he picked up the faint fragrance of roses lingering on his clothes, and let out a soft sigh.

Hopefully it was enough to repay all the presents you'd given him today. 

[ramblingsfromthytruly]

day 33+34+35+36/50 productivity challenge - 2 days of failure + 2 day of success(?) combined with an all-nighter

had my on english exam on friday: i think i did okay. i mean i'm sure i could get above 60 (exam total is 80 marks) without studying. so that's all i wanna say. i MAY get above 65 or even above 70 but i don't wanna keep that expectation and later disappoint myself. also i remember venting so bad in one question. i wrote 2.5 pages for a 5 mark speech writing question 💀 i really need to get back into journalling

ngl i have to admit i've been extremely unproductive throughout the entire weekend. usually when i'm in a depressive phase i manage something but for this time i just don't even have energy to do anything apart from feel like shit and then feel like shit using that as an excuse to not do anything. well towards sunday night i regained some(?) positive energy and managed to study something in between bouts of crying and extreme thoughts and 1 almost-mental-breakdown for my physics exam by pulling an all-nighter.

so this is the stuff i did through the day while procrastinating & all through the night & the monday morning:

morning skincare

worked on my blog's organization

redid my blog's intro post

received some mental clarity and started recording a vlog

headbath

had lovely convos with other users omg ppl r so nice

night skincare

studied physics ch: motion in a straight line

noted down all formulae

studied physics ch: motion in a plane

slept 6-7 a.m.

morning skincare

studied physics ch: laws of motion

how my physics exam went: so grateful for my friend who basically gave me a crash course of the fourth chapter within 10 mins. prolly got at least 5 marks cuz of her. exam was still shit however. i thought it went better that chemistry. it would have been but then after i was discussing the answers with my friend i realized i didn't see the last page of the question paper and missed an entire main. 3 5 markers!! 15 marks just gone like that. istg i'm genuinely never this careless. idk how i could have done this. i had the time too to write those answers. those questions were easy.

after school shenanigans:

slept 1-4 p.m.

made card for dad's bday tmr

showered

duolingo

practiced playing keyboard

folded laundry

studied + made notes biology ch: biological classification

journalled (desperately needed this)

night skincare

[bubbles-for-all-of-us]

Ik I keep requesting, but ur writing is so amazing, and I need more Ellie and Reader, mother and daughter moments😭

Kinda going based on the game, but imagine if Ellie hasn't told Reader about her liking girls (just pretend Ellie and Dina got together when they were teens💀) and Reader walks in on them kissing and is shook and leaves awkwardly and Dina and Ellie were like "Shit-" and Joel's just like 🤨 "Why you acting weird" but Reader doesn't tell him and he thinks Ellie has a boy in her room and goes all dad mode

Oh keep them coming. I live writing these tiny ideas out it's so much fun. 🤭✨ This low key made me giggle. 🥺🤍

You return home earlier. Ready to tackle all the laundry before both Joel and Ellie come back home. You suspect nothing at first because you know when Ellie usually gets back so when you walk through the main door you don't even call out for her. You're doing your thing humming to yourself as you fold the already dry pieces before hanging up the freshly washed ones to air dry in the sun.

With a basket propped on your hip, you make your way up. Thinking that this might be the best time to sort out Ellie's clothes. Change up the winter outfits for something a bit lighter for spring. And you're so lost in your thoughts that you don't even hear the light music playing in the room. Opening it without a second guess. Your eyes fall onto the two girls who barely have a chance to jump apart as they clearly were in a quiet steamy make-out session. Not to mention the fact that Ellie's hands are still gripping the girl's hips.

No one says anything. You just stare at them. They both are staring at you. Until the situation finally hits you and you quickly close your mouth, eyes falling all over the room but just not look at them. "I'm just... I will just put this here", you awkwardly lower the basket to the ground. Before stepping out and closing the door behind you. You hear Ellie mumbling a quick, "Mom...", but you're out, already walking down the stairs.

Ellie is full-on panicking because a) she has never talked about dating and b) well you just walked in on her making out with a girl that she likes and fucking c) she hasn't even told anyone besides Dina that she's into girls. So she is ready to storm after you so she could explain but Dina catches Ellie's hand, mumbling a quiet, "Your shirt is undone", and that only makes her even more panicked. "This is a disaster", Ellie exhales falling back to her bed. She knows that you would be fine with it all deep down but it's just not how she imagined this would have gone. "Should I leave?", Dina asks and of course, the answer is no. Even more so Ellie has no clue how to walk her out without anyone noticing.

You on the other hand nearly crash into Joel as you storm off the stairs. Too lost in your mind to notice that he had returned home earlier as well. "Wow, easy there, you nearly took my head off", Joel's quick to steady you and make sure you don't fall. Your eyes quickly dart up the stairs. You know straight away that Joel can't see this. Regardless of who is in Ellie's room, Joel is one protective male. And you even more so know that Ellie would die of embarrassment if he was to walk in on her like that.

"Did something happen?", Joel asks already frowning and you instantly grab onto him, "No! Why would there be something wrong?", the fakes of laughter follow suit. Joel tilts his head to the side not believing you because you have always been shit at keeping secrets from him. "You got that dog didn't ya?", he asks and in a way it makes some weight lift off your shoulders as you nod quickly, "Ain't that fun...", you trail off just as the sound of something falling upstairs rings out through the house.

Joel's eyes dart up the stairs instantly and you try to hold onto him. Digging your feet into the ground as you try to keep him from going up there but let's face it how can you keep that hulk down? The fact that two sets of voices can be heard as well doesn't help. Joel shoots you a killer look, "So a dog huh", as he crosses the space between the stairs and Ellie's room in a couple of steps.

He is ready to throw that poor guy through the window. And the fact that both of you said nothing? Joel could understand Ellie in a way... that she might have wanted to reach out for you first but you. How could you not tell him? It was not like he would ban Ellie from dating. He would just make sure the lad knows that he was going to be watched and probably get a broken nose if he hurt his baby girl.

Swinging the door open Joel steps in. Face sour, arms already ready to drag the guy down the stairs. But freezing just like you did when you first walked in. You practically run into Joel's back. "Oh my god dad get out!", Ellie cries out. Stepping in front of Dina who is still pulling her shirt over her head. And Joel has never turned around quicker in his life. You push your head into the room quickly, "I promise I tried to stop him", you shoot Ellie an apologetic look. "Maybe get decent and come down for some tea huh? You don't have to obviously but like...", you say yet Ellie quickly shakes her head at your suggestion. Motioning for you with her eyes to get out and so you do just that.

Joel's sat by the kitchen island as you walk back down, "You know you have warned me", he says, "Well, sorry, it wasn't me who was about to make pancakes out of the poor creature". You sit right beside him. It's a kind of weird feeling. Because of course, you expected her to explore eventually. And you can't help but think about how you were in her shoes once. A chuckle escapes your lips as you rest your palms over your face, "That was so bad", Joel to your surprise joins in. Fingers running through his beard, "I don't know what was worse this or when she walked in on us...", you hit his chest hating that he was making you relive that horror again. "Oh, she's going to be petrified...", you mutter, leaning against your lover as you two still laugh. "You reckon we should mess with her? Pretend that we are like really mad?", "Joel...", you shake your head in disbelief, "What? Start fake crying now it needs to be believable".

[studentbyday]

day 04 // 100dop++

today was...weird. i don't feel like i was too sleep-deprived, yet i really did not want to leave my bed. i didn't start my day until a few hours later. today features a shorter self-study to-do list bc i wanted to give myself a little break in light of what seems to be a lower-energy day.

also remember how i said i'm not ready emotionally to go back to school? i still don't completely feel like i am, but i'm curious how i will fare bc one of my goals for 2024 is to keep up the self-studying during the semester. maybe not to the same degree, but i just want to make it a daily habit without burning myself into the ground.

meditate ✅

physio ✅

exercise ✅

laundry ✅

finish R course (codecademy) ✅

start reading and taking notes on leukemia article (cuz apparently they used proteomics at some point 🤷🏻‍♀️) ✅ (not even halfway. had to google so many terms in the abstract and the short "main" section 💀 and then my brain was fried. but from what little i read/skimmed, i think i should probs learn bioconductor next 🙂)

start R for mass spectrometry ✅ (still on ch 2/7 and the first ch was just installing packages. fingers crossed i did it right. hopefully i can do 1 ch a day? this current ch seems pretty approachable, but maybe that's just cuz this is just the beginning 😅 ugh, so not looking forward to school and especially psych and i don't wanna have to drop philosophy but if i want to make the most out of a possible lab op [which may mean i need to make time for more self-studying], i may have to drop smth...idkidkidk i could also just...not care so much about keeping up an A+ streak like an obsessive perfectionist 🤦🏻‍♀️)

[hysteria-things]

sfw :)

on and off matt who likes to explain some random video game or movie lore to u and sounds 100% serious about it as if its real

on and off matt whos 6 months or a year younger than u (idk he just gives off the vibe of being younger 😭)

on and off matt who listens to u vent about ur problems and always has the best advice for u

on and off matt who sends u cat videos saying "us?"

on and off matt who likes to spam u tiktoks of random funny things or animal videos he sees on his fyp but its never cute couple videos which makes ur bf so unique 😭

on and off matt who prefers being little spoon and being ur baby during cuddling

on and off matt who likes to ask u for a kiss after saying "lets go" humbly after getting a victory on fortnite

on and off matt who loves ur cooking and fucks that shit up LMAOOO

on and off matt who does the laundry and cleaning for u

on and off matt who takes care of u as a moody mess on ur period

"i love u please dont ever leave me"

"oh u dont want me to leave u?"

"no"

"gotcha, won't leave"

on and off matt whos always in ur comments after u post urself on instagram or tiktok

on and off matt whos always in ur photo dumps

on and off matt who's very clingy and loves ur personal space

"give me a kiss"

"matt-"

"give me a kiss"

"matt ur pissing me off"

"one kiss"

"*smooch* okay get the fuck out"

*proceeds to shimmy away*

on and off matt whos always doing something stupid around u

*tries to handstand and ends up making a picture frame fall off the wall*

"*gasp* matt-"

on and off matt whos always attached to ur hip anywhere u go (ex: shopping together as u push the cart)

*holds up a bra and acts as if hes got it on* "think these are my size?"

"matt those are d cups"

"??? no these are bras"

"no- ykw, okay!"

on and off matt who squeezes ur tits and goes "honka honka" 😭😭

on and off matt who gets jealous and petty when u tell him about all the guys who tried to get with u after u guys broke up

"oh and- *yap yap yap*"

"hm right"

"and then- *blah blah blah*"

"hm right. so u wanna know how that makes me feel?"

"what?"

"like idgaf"

on and off matt who sees it coming everytime u hit him with a "ykw? we're over"

"shi, alright, can i get a kiss before i leave tho?"

on and off matt who has patience with u and refuses to yell at u back everytime u guys argue

on and off matt who has to deal with his girl friends trying to flirt with u (tara yummy and madison beer) but he prefers it rather than some random dude doing it

on and off matt who hearts ur stories or posts even after u guys break up

on and off matt who lowkey stalks ur social media over and over after u guys break up

on and off matt whos still cool with ur parents and siblings after u guys break up

on and off matt who daps up ur dad and side hugs ur mom in front of u after u guys break up and they invited him over for dinner without being aware of it

on and off matt who helps ur younger sister with her school homework even if he kinda forgot some things he learned in school and calms her anxiety while she stresses out about it

on and off matt who yaps about superhero lore with ur younger brother and is actually so engaged in it that he forgets hes actually here for u

on and off who always has to be warned whenever u whip out ketchup in front of him 😭😭

"look away im gonna put ketchup in my plate"

*immediately freaks out and covers his entire face* "are u done?"

"yep all good :)"

*sighs in relief as if he just faced the hardest thing in the world* "man. thank u"

on and off matt who gets severe separation anxiety to the point he makes u pee with the door open while he either lays in bed waiting for u or stands in the doorway while u get lecture him about this behavior 💀

*giggles*

"😐 i'm not laughing"

on and off matt who burps in ur face despite the fact that he hates chris doing it 😭

and lastly to top it off, whatever this is...

*yapping*

"wait"

"what?"

*farts*

"bro"

YOU ARE SO CREATIVE WITH THESE I LOVE THEM

[wordy-little-witch]

Hiii i miss sending u anon stuff isjzjsz im studying for exams😭😭💀💀 i wish i have the discipline to study consistently aaaaa

Can i request the 7 minutes in heaven shuggy prompt? And maybe a treasure hunt w/ the crossgild trouple? Tysm wordy ur posts have been like a destressor somewhat (also an angst fest cuz wtf the rayeligh shit HURTED- do u have more of it? Lmao also shanks in the tags, him being protective is wat i live for platonically or romantically❤️❤️)

Hiiii honey!!! I'm happy to hear from you ♡♡ I'm proud of you for studying and good luck with your exams, you can do it!!!! ♡♡♡♡♡ ((Also mood I struggle with routine and yet thrive with routine. It's a cosmic pain))

I can do two lil bits I think for this ♡ I'll separate them out, so one here, another later on ((I'll add on to this one)) ♡

As for the Rayliegh bit - hhhh yeah. Listen. LiStEn. If I can't afford therapy to resolve my parental and sibling issues then I'll sure as shit hurt my blorbo and make everyone watch teehee dw about it cute boy things.

And Shanks is plveru protective and also so dynamic. He has Le Range. He's a beloved character with a laundry list of Traumatic Lore and so little screen time you could do damn near anything and it's arguably canonical. I love him. I also love to make him an absolute hot mess gremlin bc he deserves it ♡♡

Onto the fun stuff!!!!!

Shuggy -> Seven Minutes in Heaven

This was worse than the get along shirt, Buggy grumbled angrily, screwing his eyes shut and bonking his head into the wall. A foot pressed against his shin, igniting the sudden, vicious urge to kick out and hope to hit something Specific in the dark. He held it at bay, just giving a slow sigh.

Voices drifted by overhead, mostly chipper, a decent chunk slurred. Buggy pouted.

"Um... Bugs?"

"What," he snapped, curling tighter into a ball. He heard more than saw Shanks flinch back a little.

"I... um.... I just...." There was a shuffle in the tiny storage closet, earning a blind glower from the blue haired cabin boy.

"Spit it out, fuckface!"

"I'm sorry."

There was silence for a moment. Buggy tried breathing slowly, in through the nose, out through the mouth, just the way Cap had taught him. He let out the breath for a few second, one, two, three, four. "It's.... not your fault," he said at last, trying to keep his breathing steady. "We weren't even really fighting."

"Old man Rayleigh should learn to tell the difference," the redhead scoffed quietly. "We were training...." He shifted slightly. "I didn't mean to hit you that hard."

Buggy snorted. "Please. You punch like a civilian."

"Civilians can punch heads off of necks," Shanks shot back teasingly, moving blindly in the dark to nudge the other's leg. "I'll have to keep that in mind."

"No, dumbass, but they could knock my head off. I'm still not.... used to this." He popped off his fingers, one at a time. The soft clicks or detachment and reattachment echoed in the dark.

"... I'm sorry for that too."

"Shut up, I don't need your pity."

The other moved suddenly, and Buggy bit back a squeak as hands grappled in the black before clamping onto his shoulders. A forehead bumped his own, a bit too high before nuzzling lower. He could feel the heat from the other boy's skin sinking into his own, and he prayed that the force of his blush didn't ACTUALLY make his nose glow the way Cap and Crocus teased him about.

"It's not pity," Shanks said roughly. He shook the other the slightest bit before sighing. "It's empathy."

"The hell are you-?!"

"Just-! Listen, Buggy!" Shanks tilted his head, his nose brushing Buggy's and drawing a soft sound from the younger boy. "You wanted the treasure and I startled you. The map fell into the sea. And I'm sorry. You loved swimming, and even I could see how much the sea loved you, too. You've got sea salt in your veins and waves in your hair, you always always have, and now you can't lay out in the water like a siren anymore and it hurts you! I know it does. You're my best friend, my better half, and I hurt you. I caused your pain. And I will never forgive that. So I'm sorry."

".... they'renot real."

"What?"

Buggy swallowed, his own hands moving, one gripping to a strong forearm, the other at a baggy shirt on the redhead's side. "Sirens. They're not real. Just stories, remember? Even Captain said."

There was a brief moment before Shanks chuckled. "Maybe," he breathed, his lashes tickling against Buggy's own. "But I believe in them. Beautiful beings who sing wonderful songs and lure sailors into parts unknown...."

"Why?"

"Because I'd never hesitate to follow you anywhere, Buggy. You say my name and I'm yours. I know sirens are real because you're real."

Suddenly the cramped darkness felt far warmer. Buggy tried to quiet his gasp. "S-Stupid Shanks...?"

"Pretty Buggy."

There was movement and then there was heat on his nose, his cheeks, his lips. And Buggy squirmed, pushing and pulling until their bodies slotted together perfectly, a hand dipping under his beanie to grip cerulean hair as straw tickled his wrist as his own cupped the back of a neck. Breathless, boneless, they clung and basked and pulled closer, closer closer. Buggy was growing dizzy, but it was pleasant, comfortable, warm, safe and he'd never felt so-

Blinded.

His body suddenly was sent sprawling, light piercing his eyes, and then he coughed a wheeze as a heavy weight crushed his ribcage, his lip smarting as teeth sunk into it.

Shanks pushed himself up, rubbing his eyes and squinting.

Buggy glared through his tears.

Rayleigh looked gobsmacked. "Oh. I was... not expecting that. Hmm." He glanced between the two for a moment before turning on his heel. "Use protection, this is above my pay grade."

Shanks huffed a mild, embarassed laugh. Buggy simply wanted to die.

[magniloquent-raven]

tagged by @imsodishy for the WIP sharing thing (tysm!!)

ive been hardcore slacking in the writing department lately 💀 i've been THINKING about it a lot but completely failing to get to the typing part 💀💀💀 here's a snippet from one of the rare pair fics i started working on tho! (because i do still intend to write them i swear lol)

Patrick rubs his forehead, averting his eyes. Suddenly the pile of dirty laundry on Billy's floor is of great interest. "Monthly inspection. My dad needs to make sure I'm not up here wasting his money." "And, what, he makes you take a piss test while he's here?" Neil never seemed to give two shits about Billy partying. He'd rag on Billy for being irresponsible—letting his grades drop a couple points, getting a speeding ticket, it was a mortal offence if Billy ever let his inadequacies become public record—but he always turned a blind eye when Billy came home at three in the morning stinking like liquor and blitzed out of his mind. It didn't matter if Billy drank himself into an early grave, as long as he wasn't letting it affect the things Neil was supposed to be able to brag about at dinner parties. Yes, Billy graduated with honors. No, I don't care how coked up he was during the ceremony. Fucking asshole.

tagging @ihni @ghostlynimbus @mothellie @californiaboytoybilly only if yall feel like it 😊💚

[peppertaemint]

https://www.tiktok.com/@dancingkites/video/7372987651462335751?_t=8mp8vrkKHWX&_r=1

Fell into a Shinee rabbit hole and i can’t get out

Even when i didn’t know them much i really felt bad with Onew being sick and when i saw their concerts while scrolling TikTok i legit yell cause he looks so so healthy, and im so happy he was allowed to take time and get better. Im so happy he is back.

Also looking at shinee now whilr knowing what theyy went trough Danm they are strong. And im happy they are still enjoying what the my do in spite of everything.

And that video is sent show how big they are and how well like they are. And im so happy look all those people enjoying and getting genuinely excited to see them perfom ish for them.

Hi @5813 ! Glad to hear you fell down the best rabbit hole possible. Welcome to SHINee World.

I can't stress enough how incredibly popular and respected they are in Asia, especially Korea and Japan. I was lucky enough to attend SHINee World VI in Tokyo in November 2023, and went back for Taemin's Metamorph in March 2024. I went to SK both times too. Without trying, I saw more to do with SHINee and SM artists while out and about than uh, that other group that shall not be named. Key, especially, is a top talent in Korea. He's partnered with such huge sponsors his face is all over the place. There are giant laundry billboards of him right now. In Tokyo, he had an entire pop-up store for his face products. Even in Incheon, they had his special Valentine's Day Longtake perfume sets. SHINee is loved, lol. And their fandom is worldwide. I don't think people realize they were touring the US way before others and were name-checked by Obama, lol. They did SHINee World in Dallas, of all places.

In terms of public reputation in Korea, my understanding is they are still viewed as the Princes of Kpop, even in their 30s. And Taemin is the "national maknae"; even on the news they refer to him as Taeminie. 💀 And because of what they went through, and how they handled it and have honoured Jjong's memory, plus the fact that they're one of the few kpop groups whose skills are world class (they can actually sing live and sound like their records), they are treated so well, as you can see on Jayseok's show in that clip.

In 2018, they did an hour long, very difficult interview but it was an honest one with a lot of self-reflection. And they had a beautiful comeback with The Story of Light, that incorporated songs and choreographies that explored their grief instead of hiding or running from it. And Onew taking time off when sick to prioritise himself shows this. He set such a good example for all of us.

Basically, what I'm saying is that they're people who take the hard road and don't stop. I think it's admirable.

[t00thpasteface]

the most humbling thing so far about living in a dorm with what i brought from home is probably the fact that i didn't bring enough clothes. not because i wasn't thorough— i brought two weeks' worth of clothes, including a button-down AND a tshirt for each day— but because i'm just sweating SO. MUCH. walking around campus on a SUBTROPICAL ISLAND. the campus is very walkable but it's still a long way from my dorm to my labs when i'm used to being a commuter student who basically just pulls right up to the building or even gets dropped off at the front door thanks to carpooling. i can't walk just from one class to the next in less than a minute without sweating, it's so fucking WET. like i thought houston was humid but you can cut this beach air with a SPOON it's like a SAUNA. even the refreshing ocean breeze is incredibly briny and it coats me in a fine layer of sea salt. i'm showering at least once a day and sometimes twice because i do Not want to lay in my bed this sticky. i'm doing laundry twice a week minimum. oh my fucking god. you may be living on island time but are you living in island humidity? 💀🌴

[mimisfortress]

*.Thoughts~+

of

+°.the Day.*,

~.+🌙🪽*.`

• I'm so annoyed because I'll have planned to do something productive at home after school and then accidentally pass out & take a fat nap instead, even after a full night's rest 😐

• I forgot how old Disney animated princess films made my heart swell with joy. Gosh, Aurora is so gorgeous WTFFF. They animated her with PASSION!!!!!

• I yearn for mental clarity and noticably restful sleep.

• Sleeping with a bra on is hell

• My favorite tea is Jasmine tea with milk

• I've gotta clean my room

• I'm surprised with how indifferent I felt about my boyfriend showing up to school today with his hair cut very short. It feels like everyone freaked out but me lmao. Everyone & their mom loved his long, soft, luscious locks including myself and I have never been a fan of shorter hair on guys. I still think he's equally very pretty and I love him all the same 🫀 I reckon I might be in love guys

• If I reeeallyyy break down my tasks in cleaning up my room, SURELY I can clean up this eyesore of a mess in no time

• I miss writing in my actual diary to be real 💀

• I ❤️ TCHAIKOVSKY AAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHHH. Tchaikovsky's music scratches an itch in my brain no other classical music composer can (other than Dvorak, mayhaps). How the actual freak do people not freaking know who Tchaikovsky is, dude. People will ask me about my music taste and I'll bring up Tchaikovsky, and they'll ask me "who is that??" And I'll say, "the guy that wrote the music for Swan Lake". Then, they'll ask me, "what's Swan Lake?" STOP IT. ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL ME.

dude if you DO NOT know what something as influential and historically relevant as the Swan Lake ballet is then you are missing out on a very CULTURALLY significant aspect of history (🤓)

(Or . . . maybe not everyone is as interested in classical music n theater with as much passion as I 💀)

Okay. Plan for the remainder of the evening.

9:30pm - Take a shower, brush teeth, no more makeup. Let my skin breath.

10:00pm - Clean up room. Start with dirty laundry, then dirty dishes, then put away clean clothes, clean up paint supplies from yesterday, and then idk what to do about the rest of the mess 😭😭 I'll figure it out

10:30pm - break from room cleaning. Get stuff ready 4 school tmrw.

10:40pm or 10:50pm - Go back to cleaning until 11:20pm. Then go tf to sleep cuz it's late.