#but i'm like i can't deal with it all the time it's too much

[animamii]

Kiss Me Thru The Phone | Toji Fushiguro

Toji's been locked up for too long and misses his pretty girl deeply.

Was listening to Kiss Me Thru The Phone by Soulja Boy, which was always my go to song for my irl jailbird cougarrrr. But Toji is better so it's his song now c;

warnings; smut, duh. phone sex.

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This is a collect call from Tokyo Correctional Facility from

"Toji Fushiguro," his voice raspy and nonchalant as always, a stark contrast to the excitement bubbling inside you.

If you accept the charges, please press 1.

Like second nature you instantly press one. 'This phone call will be recorded and subject to monitoring...' the autonomous voice instructs. The line clicks, a soft trill signaling the connection, and then a faint beeping tone echoes through your receiver. Your heart pounds in anticipation, your grip on the phone tightening as the line goes silent for just a beat too long. A beeping tone goes off, and your heart beats heavily.

"Hey princess," Toji's voice, low and gravelly, rolls through the phone. A smile instantaneously forms on your face, it's been a while since you had spoken to Toji on the phone. His ass was always getting thrown into ad seg for one reason or another.

"Hi baby," your voice is soft and sweet, and Toji feels his heart swelling as he finally hears your voice in what feels like forever. No matter how hardened life makes him, hearing your voice always makes him melt.

“Damn, it’s good to hear you,” he mutters, his tone a little softer now. "They threw my ass in the hole cause some fuckface wanted to try and take the box of Honeybuns from the package you sent me last week."

"Of course they did," you reply with a light laugh, shaking your head. "You can't go a month without stirring up trouble, can you?"

"It's not my fault," Toji defends, the familiar cockiness in his voice making your stomach flutter. "You send me the good shit, princess. You think I'm gonna let some punk get his hands on my Honeybuns?"

You bite your lip to suppress a giggle, imagining him in his element, standing tall and intimidating, defending your care package like his life depended on it. "Well, at least now I know how much you appreciate my efforts."

"Appreciate?" Toji scoffs playfully. "Baby, I worship the ground you walk on for those packages. You should see these guys. They're practically drooling over the stuff you send me. It’s like I’m a king in here."

"Aweee babyyyy," you coo, biting your lip as your cheeks heat up. Toji always knew just what to say to make you feel giddy like a young girl in love for the first time. "Just for that I'll send you something extra special next week."

Toji lets out a low chuckle, the sound deep and raspy, sending a warm shiver down your spine. "You’re too good to me, princess. You’ve got me spoiled," he says, and though his tone is teasing, there’s a genuine softness beneath his words.

"Someone’s gotta take care of you," you reply, your voice playful but full of affection. "You’re lucky I love you enough to deal with all this drama."

"Lucky doesn’t even cover it," Toji mutters, his voice dropping an octave. "I don’t deserve you, but I’m not letting you go. Ever."

Your heart skips a beat at his words, the weight of his sincerity making your chest tighten. "You don’t have to," you whisper. "I’m not going anywhere, Toji."

"Good," he says firmly, the possessiveness in his tone sending a rush of heat through you. "Cause when I get out of here, you’re mine. Completely. No one else gets a second of your time."

"You already have me," you say softly, the vulnerability in your voice making him pause.

"I know," he murmurs after a moment, his tone unusually tender. "And that’s the only thing keeping me sane in this place. Knowing I’ve got you waiting for me on the other side."

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blink them away, refusing to let the sadness take over. "I’ll always be here, baby. No matter how long it takes."

"Enough about me though," he tries to change the subject, hearing the vulnerability in your voice. He hates knowing you're missing him like that, especially when he can't do anything about it. "How’s my pretty girl?” he asks, his voice dropping to that lower, huskier tone that always makes your stomach flutter.

“I’m okay,” you reply, leaning back against the couch as you let yourself sink into his voice. “But I’d be better if you were here.”

A low chuckle rumbles through the phone. “Trust me, princess, I’d do anything to be there with you right now.” Toji looks around his surroundings, the dreary cement walls and identical cell doors that go on and on. He leans against the divider that separates all the phones, metal phone wire feeling cool against his arm. It's late at night, most of the prisoners already in their cells asleep. Toji was lucky enough to know someone on the inside, getting the privilege to have late night calls with you, getting as much privacy as he could get. A single guard supervises him haphazardly.

The thought of him—of his rough hands on your skin, his lips brushing against your ear as he whispered all the things he wanted to do to you—makes heat pool low in your belly. The distance between you feels unbearable, but his voice keeps you grounded, tethered to the connection you share.

“What are you wearing?” he asks suddenly, his tone playful but suggestive.

“Toji,” you laugh, your cheeks flushing. “You’re ridiculous.”

“I’m serious,” he replies, his voice darkening with desire. “I need a little something to keep me going while I’m stuck in here.”

You glance down at your oversized t-shirt, wearing nothing but that and some panties. biting your lip as a grin creeps onto your face. “Nothing special,” you tease. “Just your t-shirt, the one I stole from you.”

"Just my shirt? Nothing else?" He clears his throat with a grunt, looking around to make sure nobody else could hear. Although let's face it, he wouldn't care regardless.

"Mmm that and some panties of course. Like I always wear to bed," you respond, playing with the hem of your shirt mindlessly. The shirt itself wafted of Toji's musky scent, piney with a dash of smoke and a hint of jasmine.

"What panties?" Toji tries to imagine you, all pretty and barefaced, ready for bed in one of his shirts that swallow your frame. No bra, the outline of your nipples showing through the soft fabric. The bottom of your ass poking out from under his shirt.

"The frilly lacy baby pink pair you got me from Victoria's Secret," pulling up your shirt just enough to see the panties you wear, Toji being oh so familiar with the pair. "You know, the ones I wore when we went to that fancy Brazilian steak house, and you made me keep them on as you fucked me in the bathroom?"

He groans softly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. “Damn, you know what that does to me, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” you reply, your voice light but filled with heat. Toji started this little game, but you could play it better.

"Fuck I miss you princess," his voice is gravelly, needy as he bites his lip.

"I miss you too baby," your lip curls into a sweet smile, words sounding like sugar.

"No, like I really miss you," Toji looks down at the scratchy sweatpants he's forced to wear, seeing the bulge he now adorns getting bigger and bigger as he paints an image of your pretty self.

"Oh?"

"Wanna help me out ma?" The raspiness of his sultry voice has you weak in the knees and you could almost perfectly picture the wolfish grin he was wearing.

"Toji I don't know..." Feeling bashful, your teeth tug at your lip as you contemplate. Sure you've mailed him pretty pictures with way to much cleavage, some in revealing outfits and "bathing suits", but never have you ever had phone sex with him while he's been locked up.

"C'mon mama, I really need you right now. Miss you so much. Miss your gorgeous face. Miss your cute smile. That pretty pussy of yours." At this point he was rock hard, erection now prominent even in those baggy sweatpants.

"Aren't you in public right now, love?" Raising an eyebrow, you try to imagine Toji as he's in a corner of the public area, standing next to one of the phones that's stuck to the wall.

"Relax princess, it's already past curfew. I got special phone privileges courtesy of Shiu. Pays to know people inside," he clicks his tongue proudly, his smirk almost audible.

"Mmm okay, if you say so baby," sinking down more into the couch, obliging with a tint of pink on your cheeks.

"That's my girl." There's a slight pause, then a rustling sound as Toji leans closer to the phone. "Now, put the phone on speaker so I can hear every little thing, okay princess?"

"Okay, Toji." Turning on speakerphone, you set the phone on the arm of the couch right next to where your head rests. So, what do you want me to do first, baby?" you ask, your voice tinged with playfulness and a hint of arousal.

Toji's chuckle is low and husky, sending a shiver down your spine. "Well, for starters... tell me exactly what you're wearing."

You bite your lip, glancing down at yourself before responding, "Like I said earlier, just your old shirt and that pair of baby pink lace panties. Nothing else."

His mind was so foggy with lust and need that he had forgot he asked you that, causing that hard predicament that sits in his pants. "Oh, right. That pretty pink pair that I like to slide to the side and fuck you in."

Your breathing hitches, the heat pooling in your core at his words. Toji’s voice, low and laden with want, is enough to make your body respond instantly. You shift slightly, your thighs squeezing together as the familiar ache begins to build.

“You remember everything, don’t you?” you tease, though your voice comes out softer than you intended.

“How could I forget?” he rasps, his tone sending a delicious shiver down your spine. “You looked so fucking good in them. Still do, I bet. Are they wet yet, princess?” Toji reels his memories, thinking of your legs spread open, showing that cute little damp patch of arousal that would soak through the frilly material.

Your cheeks flush crimson, his bluntness never failing to catch you off guard. “Maybe,” you admit shyly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“That’s my girl,” he murmurs approvingly. “Touch yourself for me, baby. I wanna hear those sweet little sounds you make when you think of me.” A hand goes into his sweats, palming himself through his boxers. It didn't bother him in the slightest that anyone could see. His perfect girl was on the line, moaning and mewling just for him and he wanted—no needed—to get off to you.

“Toji,” you breathe out, the warmth spreading through your chest and settling low in your belly. You hesitate for just a moment before letting your hand slip beneath the hem of your shirt, your fingertips brushing against the lace of your panties. “I miss you,” you whisper, your voice trembling slightly.

“Fuck, I miss you too,” he groans, the sound of his restraint evident in his tone. “Keep going, princess. Tell me what you’re doing.”

Your hand slips beneath the lace, your fingers dipping into the slick heat between your thighs. “I’m... I’m touching myself,” you confess, your voice trembling with a mixture of embarrassment and desire.

“Good girl,” Toji growls, his words like a low purr that rumbles through the receiver. “You know how much I love hearing you, baby. Don’t hold back. Let me hear those pretty little moans.”

Your free hand clutches at the couch cushion as your fingers begin to move in slow, deliberate circles. The sound of Toji’s breathing, heavy and uneven, fills your ear and fuels the fire building inside you. Closing your eyes, you imagine it's him hovering over you, fingers teasing your clit just how he always does.

“Toji,” you whimper, his name falling from your lips like a prayer.

“That’s it, princess,” he encourages, his voice thick with need. “Keep saying my name. Let me know how good it feels.”

You close your eyes, letting his voice guide you as your movements grow more insistent. “I wish you were here; my fingers can't do what yours do,” you whisper, your words shaky as the pleasure builds. “I need you so bad, Toji.”

“Fuck, baby, you’re killing me,” he groans, the sound of rustling fabric on his end letting you know he’s just as affected as you are. “I’d do anything to have you under me right now. To feel how tight you’d squeeze me when I’m deep inside you.” His hand finally snakes its way inside his boxers, his calloused finger soothing his aching red tip. Palm wrapped around the top, squeezing it in imitation of your tight walls.

"That's all I can think about, Toji," soft, needy whimpers leave your throat, "Having my legs on your shoulders as you break me off. Hitting that one spot deep inside me that always gets me creaming on your cock." Flashbacks of Toji's large hands holding you down, fucking into you as he forces you to watch, that frothy white ring around the base of his dick forming as juice splatter from his impact.

"Yeah, princess?" Toji groans, his voice dipping even lower, roughened by his own need. "You always know how to rile me up, don’t you? Keep talking, tell me exactly how you'd want me to fuck you."

You bite your lip, the weight of his words sending a fresh wave of heat through your core. "I’d want it slow at first," your fingers circle your clit agonizingly slow. Almost torturous like Toji does. "You’d tease me," you murmur, your voice catching as your fingers dip lower. "Make me beg for it, wouldn’t you? Make me tell you how much I need it, need you."

"Fuck," Toji growls, his breathing heavy in your ear. His hand strokes himself in sync with your words, his rough palm sliding over his length as he imagines you beneath him, squirming, needy, desperate. "I’d make you wait, baby. You know I love hearing you beg for me, hearing that pretty little voice say my name."

A shaky whimper escapes your lips, the sound almost too loud in the stillness of your living room. "I’d be so wet for you," you whisper, voice trembling as your fingers circle faster, dipping between your folds to gather more of your slickness. "You wouldn’t even have to ask, Toji. I’d be ready for you the second you touched me."

"Shit," he groans, gripping himself tighter as he pictures it. "You’d be dripping down your thighs, wouldn’t you? Making a fucking mess of yourself while you wait for me to fill you up."

"Yes," you gasp, your back arching against the couch as your body reacts to his words. Your free hand clutches at the fabric of his shirt, grounding yourself in his scent, his voice, the memory of his touch. "I need you so bad, Toji. I need to feel you stretching me out, filling me up until I can't take it anymore."

"Dip those pretty little fingers of yours inside your pussy, princess. Imagine it's me curling them and hitting that soft spot in ya," he grunts, trying to imagine the feeling of your tiny hole enveloping his large fingers.

You let out a soft moan, obeying his request, slipping two fingers into your warmth. The wet sound fills the quiet of the room, mixing with his heavy breathing on the line.

“I... I’m doing it, Toji,” you manage between hitched breaths. “It’s not the same... I can’t stretch myself like you do.”

“Fucking hell,” he growls, his hand pumping faster now, imagining the way your body clings to him when he’s buried inside you. “Tell me how it feels, princess. I need to hear everything.”

Your cheeks flush, the embarrassment drowned out by the heat curling in your belly. “It feels... good, but not enough. I can’t reach as deep as you, baby. I need you here. I need your fingers, your cock... all of you.”

“Shit, keep talking like that, and I’m gonna cum before you do,” he groans, his voice thick with frustration and longing. His strokes become erratic, the image of you—the sounds you're making—driving him closer to the edge. “I’d have you spread out under me right now, pretty legs shaking while I fuck you open. You’d take me so well, wouldn’t you?”

“Uh huh~,” you whimper, arching into your touch, fingers moving faster as you imagine him over you, his broad shoulders, the weight of his body pressing you down. “I’d take you so good... like I always do. I’d make such a mess for you.”

“You’d be dripping all over my cock, wouldn’t you? So tight, so perfect for me,” he rasps, his voice hitching slightly as his own hand works faster. You can hear the faint rustle of fabric, the wet sound of his strokes, and it sends a thrill through you, knowing he’s as close to the edge as you are.

“Toji, I’m so close,” you whine, your voice trembling with the mounting pleasure.

“Good girl,” he groans, his tone commanding but filled with adoration. “Let it go, princess. Cum for me. I wanna hear those pretty sounds when you fall apart for me.”

His words push you over the edge, a broken cry escaping your lips as your body tenses and then releases, waves of pleasure crashing through you. Toji’s name spills from your mouth in a litany, each moan sweeter than the last.

“Fuck,” he groans, his voice a low growl as he follows you over the edge, his own release ripping through him. You can hear his breaths, heavy and uneven, as he murmurs your name like a prayer.

For a moment, the two of you are silent, the only sounds the soft hum of the line and your shared breaths as you come down from the high.

“I needed that,” Toji finally mutters, his voice lighter now, the teasing edge creeping back in. "Been so pent up, jerking off to those pretty pictures you mail me like I'm a horny teenager."

You laugh softly, trying to imagine a sexually frustrated Toji hunched over your selfies trying to get himself off. “You’re insatiable, Toji.”

“For you? Always,” he replies, the warmth in his voice making your chest tighten with affection. "I miss being able to bend you over and fuck you wherever and whenever I want."

"Mmmm, I miss that too, baby," you hum, walking to the sink to wash your arousal-stained fingers. "Miss having my man with me all the time. Gets so lonely without my lover."

"I fucking love you, you know that?" Toji murmurs after a beat, his voice softer now, filled with an almost boyish sincerity.

A smile tugs at your lips, your heart swelling at his words. "I love you too, Toji," you reply, your voice tender.

The automated voice interrupts the moment, announcing that the call will end in one minute. Your chest tightens at the reminder, and you clutch the phone, wishing you could hold onto him just a little longer.

“You better be ready for me when I get out,” he says, his tone turning serious, almost possessive. “I’m not wasting a single second. First thing I’m doing is coming straight to you, and you’re not leaving my bed for days.”

"I'll be counting down the days, baby," a honeyed mewl leaves your lips, feeling light and airy still from your orgasm. "Until then... Behave yourself Toji Fushiguro."

He chuckles, the sound low and rich, and you can practically hear the grin in his voice. "No promises, princess," he teases. "But I’ll try. For you. Now before it hangs up, kiss me through the phone, baby."

Your heart squeezes at his request, the playful yet sincere edge in his voice making your chest ache with longing. Pressing the phone closer to your lips, you whisper, "Mwah," letting it carry all the tenderness you can muster.

A low hum of approval comes through the line. "Mmm, that’s what I like to hear," he drawls, his voice dripping with satisfaction. "I’ll be dreaming about that one, princess."

The automated voice chimes in again, colder this time, signaling the end of the call in mere seconds. "I love you," you blurt out, the words rushing out like a lifeline.

"I love you more," he says firmly, the weight of his promise grounding you. "Be good for me, princess. I’ll be home before you know it."

The line clicks dead before you can respond, the abrupt silence leaving an ache in its wake. You lower the phone slowly, staring at the screen as if willing it to light up again with his name. His words replay in your head. You could hold it down for him, he'll be home before you know it.

[daenysx]

I seriously love the vibes of all your sleepovers. Can I ask for modern!au where James Potter babies and comforts reader when she’s having a hard time? If not totally understand <3

James has big hands. Big, not so soft because the air is dry and he neglects applying hand cream, but always gentle. He's really good at putting on the right amount of pressure as he rubs wide circles on your back. You kind of want to melt here and never deal with anything else.

It's a bad day. More like a bad week. You can find reasons or maybe excuses if you try hard enough, but you don't want to. You feel beyond overwhelmed, so emotional but also so empty. Something disturbs your stomach, your legs get numb if you don't stretch them enough. Your body doesn't feel like it's yours and- that's too annoying to be true.

James is here. He always is. His fingers press on the tight spots on your back and you try to relax. It works, mostly. It works better when he kisses you.

"Can I get a kiss?" you ask him with a low voice. You know he tries to be cautious, not overbearing, just here for you. You don't mind asking for things.

"Of course," he says, cupping your cheek to get you closer. "You can have as many kisses as you want."

This is a good promise. You feel better, focusing on James' lips and controlling your breathing. His thumb gently circles on the skin of your neck, you sigh softly. He takes his time, cuddling up and holding you in his lap. A hand goes on your thigh to stroke the tight muscle.

"I feel better," you tell him. He never asks verbally, but you know he likes it when you let him know. Your fingers linger on his cheeks, he smiles broadly, the kind of sunshiny one you love seeing so much.

"Happy to hear that, angel girl," he kisses your neck sweetly. "Are you hungry? Maybe we can order something, Sirius was talking about a new place."

You shake your head. "Can we decide later?" Suddenly making the simplest decisions is hard.

"Sure," he agrees. "You know, actually I changed the coffee brand we always get. Do you wanna try it?"

"Hmm," it sounds good, you just don't think you can leave the bed.

"I can just make it really quick."

"I'm gonna come with you to kitchen," you tell him. "Just- 5 minutes later."

He laughs, and it's bright. He's so strong as he pulls you to his chest, hugging you so tight. "My sweetheart, did I tell you how much I love you today? You smell so good, I wish we could just stay like this forever."

"I love you." you say with your softest voice.

"I love you, I love you so much," he kisses his way on your neck, holding you in his lap so tight. "My sweetest angel, I love you so much."

You laugh, smiling so big as he kisses you again and again. He keeps holding you until you're ready to go to kitchen, you're on clouds, being in love with him feels so safe- you like being in his arms. You like being kissed so sweetly. You like how you can stop thinking, he's here and he thinks of everything when you can't.

starry girl sleepover ☆

[ichbinmeltdown]

We seriously need Starscream to win

LET HIM BE HAPPY AAAHHHH (also am I the only one who has a ton of trouble hurting/killing the characters I like??? I get too attached to them and I almost couldn't even kill off Megatron in something! ... Unfortunately for him almost isn't enough, I want Meltdown to give him the Sentinel treatment. After dousing him with hot sulfuric acid and yanking out some wires so he can't get away, that is. I'M SORRY I WAS LISTENING TO TOO MUCH ANDREW WK AND ENDED UP THINKING OF THOSE SUPER VIOLENT MLP MUSIC VIDEOS)

I'm not sure yet since the storyline for my continuity is still very much a wip and I'm still dealing with this awful burnout (that's even making it hard for me to finish this SFM animation I started, design characters or keep going with a RP I started with a friend last year) but I'm thinking maybe in Memory Leak one thing that happens is that Starscream finally leaves the Decepticons for good. Maybe he ends up joining the Autobots just because he wants to fight back against Megatron- or maybe he ends up just entirely dropping out of the war and doing something else like going back to science.

That's probably how the whole war is going to end- the Decepticons' ranks just fall apart completely. Part of it has to do with the fact that they're all becoming a lot more glitchy and erratic, as well as forgetting their past (at first mostly historical events that are now lost due to Cybertron being destroyed- but even their own thanks to the corruption, thus running the risk of not knowing why they were fighting in the first place) but another part of it has to do with Megatron's corruption making him get so abusive and so over-the-top at times that even some of his own Decepticons start fearing not just for him but themselves. A few different events and uncovering historical events- not just lost from Cybertron's destruction, but both sides of the war deliberately covering things up- further sow uncertainty and eventually most of them come to the conclusion that Megatron has warped the Decepticon cause that they were originally fighting for beyond all recognition and the Autobots are really shocked to find out that in the beginning, they were actually on the same page. (Sorta like in TFOne, but not exactly. I hope this makes sense)

Anyway sorry I started going on about Memory Leak aaaah

They really did put a lot of effort into it! G1 has a lot of genuine passion behind it, mistakes and all.

I'm almost scared to keep watching it though because I've gotten extremely attached to all these characters and don't want anything bad to happen to them, but I keep hearing little bits and pieces about how this character and that character gets killed in the movie and stuff and I'm like "DON'T YOU TOUCH SOUNDWAVE OR ASTROTRAIN OR JAZZ OR BLASTER OR THE SEEKER BROTHERS OR (lists like 15 other characters lol) DON'T YOU DARE PLEASE AAAAH"

I just had a huge realisation yesterday and I wanted to share this after going through some pretty horrible stuff over the weekend: Something I've always asked myself ever since getting into G1 Transformers was "why do you like Starscream so much even though he's a narcissistic bully? Why are you, someone who is a victim of narcissistic abuse, taking comfort in a narcissistic character?" Well, I think I finally figured it out. Because Starscream is also a victim of that very same abuse. I mean, he's beaten, called names, bullied, unappreciated, abused, and put through the wringer…and he internalised all that abuse because he knew no other way. He had no one to turn to, and the few bots who did support him, he treated like dirt. Once he had that freedom and power, he abused it and became the very thing that abused him. I have no doubt he was always self-centred, selfish, had a huge ego, etc. before all that but honestly? I think Megatron's abuse caused him to turn out the way he did. I could have turned out that way and it's a little scary, some of the parallels I'm drawing with him.

@ichbinmeltdown wrote a great analysis on Starscream that I want to share here:

"Megatron was abusive as hell to Starscream. He treated him horribly, and I legitimately almost cried a few times watching it. There's an episode called Starscream's Brigade that introduces the Combaticons, and I think that perfectly demonstrates the cycle of abuse. The entire world is against Starscream at pretty much every turn throughout the series, but none more so than Megatron. Every word out of his speech synthesizer to Starscream is to berate him, and he's constantly throwing him around, beating him, even ripping out his speech synthesizer in a scene from a previous episode (Hoist Goes Hollywood, IIRC). His own teammates don't like him, and even his brothers- Skywarp and Thundercracker, going off of the idea they're brothers- just... allow Megatron to abuse him. (Not to get into headcanons here, but I personally believe that Megatron's abuse fractured the Elite Trine's family dynamic. They are still brothers and love each other, but they're all too afraid of Megatron to really... stand up for each other as they did in the past.) And Starscream seemed to just snap in this episode. He treated the Combaticons poorly, and even when teaming up with Shockwave, he subjected him to a lot of the same ridicule and torment that Megatron put him through. He failed to realize Shockwave was the one of the only bots who would give him a chance- and unfortunately lashed out at him, which ruined his chances of Shockwave ever being a true friend and ally to him. Once Starscream had finally gotten a taste of power and not being under another bot's boot, he too became the very thing that he lived in fear of. And that really is how the cycle goes- when you're finally free from abuse, it can be tempting to overcompensate and take back all the power you were robbed of, at any cost whatsoever. Starscream, like D16 in Transformers One, snapped up this opportunity."

And the sad thing is, I've seen this in real life and I've internalised some of the abuse I've dealt with too. I'm not proud of it. Like the Seeker Trine, my own family dynamic has been fractured by similar abuse. I know there's traces of narcissism in my behaviour too, and I'm NOT proud of it. Maybe this is why I can forgive Starscream for being a narc, because I can see a little bit of my own personality/attitude/behaviour in him. Maybe it's because I know where it came from, I get why he acts that way and it's not just random and out of the blue. Maybe it's because--and I know this is a bold statement--I don't think he would do some of the stuff my own family did to me (blah blah blah he's a fictional character).

I didn't mean for this to turn into a long rant, so

TLDR: I finally figured out that part of the reason I love and relate to Starscream so much despite him internalising some of the abuse I went through, is because he was the victim of that same abuse.

[euphoria-looney]

Who Said Money Can't Buy Happiness?

"I want that new money. Crisp money, Straight-from-the-mint money. Fresh money. Young money. Push against the tide~" New Money from the Great Gatsby.

Yan?Batfam x Neglected!F!Reader

Pt. 1

Divider Creds: @selysie and @anitalenia

This plot was inspired by @niwaart and @mimiiiiiiiiisstuff

You know I've never pegged myself as the type to be too careless and get hit by a truck, because I'm not, that truck rammed into me and I was on the sidewalk, so, if I wake up, I'm suing.

That's what I thought would happen if I woke up in my world. newsflash, and spoilers, I seemed to wake up in this cliche bat family story as the neglected girl. This is actually the story "I Stole the Loving Family of the Villainess."

We follow around a girl named Serena, a cute name, by the way. It fits her as the female lead. She has blond hair and blue eyes, and multiple love interests, from Connor Kent to Wally West, and so on. She is adopted by the royal family, the Waynes.

And do you see this cute portrait with her in the middle brothers to the left, sisters to the right, parents on each side of her, oh and how can I forget even the main bulter, and can you see that small blot of paint, if you squit a little more. Ah- there I am.

That blot of paint- that's me.

While I'm monologing this I'm PUSHING SERENA DOWN THE STAIRS.

You know you can't help but feel bad for me like I'm the legitimate daughter and I get nothing.

Yes, you hear this my bitches, bros, and non-binary hoes. I'm the Villainess. If you guys spent less time fondling over the basic y/n of a female lead you realize how miserable [name] is as a character.

Her mom is too busy caring for her other siblings that she finds it too bothersome to deal with the least talented or least intelligent that goes for Alfred too because, in this story, we're royalty meaning more than one maid and butler, so why waste your time when you can have someone else do it.

Doesn't help that [name] has ears so she hears every mocking word that is uttered by her servants.

And of course, the main family does not give a pinky toe if she dies so that's so cool.

So [name] being a cliche Villainess is exactly stupid and untalented but all she wanted was her family's love and affection which is why she kept sabotaging Serena, which led her to her death.

Getting her memories suck, I mean my ego that was skyrocketing got hit with a pebble which is not a lot but that's because my ego is huge, this girl put herself down so much that I swear if her self-esteem was a rock she'd be crushed by now.

I mean the size of her self-esteem was so low it would be the opposite of my ego.

I mean how can it not be high? I'm rich, pretty, intelligent, and I've had diplomas in more than one field, Mary Sue? More like Barbie. I'm perfect, in more ways than one, except for relationships I've lacked in that department but I've never had one before so does that count? No.

Did I mention I was rich?

So anyway got her memories, it's so... tragic, but don't worry snookums because even in this life there's one defining trait that I still have, I'm rich. Okay, so not rich out of my pocket, I am a princess umkay, but I wasn't a woman in multiple men's fields for nothing.

Anyway back to the case in point, before I "woke" up [name] was having an impulse, her hands were itching to shove this one good orphaned girl that stole her place in the family, what timing do I have to come back right when [name] decided to take action on the impulse.

Hey, at least a perk of being the main character is that you don't take any damage whether that be physically inside or out. But I don't think the family will let it slide they are yanderes.

Yandere is a term for a character who is initially normal but soon develops an obsessive-compulsive grip on the person they like.

"I-I don't know one second I was walking down the stairs and the next I f-fell... but the only person behind me was [n-name]" Serena whimpered, ah- yes the struggles of a female lead the stuttering.

"[name] I can't believe you shoved Serena! This is-" Meet Palmola, my mother.

"So what?"

"Huh?" Palmola's eyes widened.

No in fact the whole family's eyes were in shock.

Since [name] would always make some batshit crazy excuse like the ghost of Grandpa pushed her or something. But why lie, I did shove her, for a good reason too.

"She walks so slow and sloppy, does she have any etiquette? I hope she would, with the amount of time she likes to spend with you Palmola. Fast, efficient, but proper. You did drill that into my head since I was young, didn't you? You even got mad when I did it wrong, is it so wrong I treat her like how I was treated?"

"Young lady-!"

"We'll discipline her later, Serena are you alright? Here take my arm sweetheart." Bruce let Serena wrap her arm around his.

The siblings paired up with each other, and Palmola took one of her son's arms. Leaving me with no one. A normal occurrence, at first it did numbers in the social circles, and still does, so each time I was left embarrassed. How annoying.

"Announcing the Imperial Family, the Gotham Empire, The Waynes."

Everyone flocked to each of the family but mainly focused their attention on Serena, whether it be her face, jewelry, dress, or how sweet she was compared to me.

"Announcing the Imperial Family, the Metro Empire, The Kents." Meet two of the love interests that right she goes for the big brother and the little brother, originally I'm engaged to Connor, but tonight that would change, the engagement is getting annulled, and his reason to the court is "I have set my eyes on someone new, and with many competitors, I can't lose."

It wasn't hard for anyone to know who it was, I think the only one that didn't notice was Serena herself.

Actually, this was a huge arc in the story when all the love interests fight for her love, there was no victor as she did the poly relationship, which really confuses me doesn't she need to make many offspring for each of the families respectable titles, you can't just combine into one entire thing, can you? That be very messy, I guess you could just give away titles but then who gets-

Anyway, that had a lot of readers mad, usually the whychoose situation would be okay, but she mainly focused on Conner so there was actually no reason to choose this route.

Never mind, that's a conversation for another day that I'll just forget.

Connor approaches me grabbing both my hands, attracting attention.

"[name] there's something I have to confess..."

"You're breaking off the engagement"

"I'm breaking- wait what?"

"You've found someone new, that has many competitors and you can't lose a battle you haven't even tried winning, I get it. But I'd like a downpayment of 10,000 gold and you can give the 490,000 gold later to my personal account and we call it even. Deal?" Hustling, though it's a 50/50 shot with many deals with enough eyes on us I'm sure he'll give in.

"S-sure, right. Right- I'll get that to you immediately-" I gave his hand a firm shake before heading off to the...

If you guessed balcony you're wrong, I'm heading over to the food table.

"Did just see what happened?"

"Is she planning something?"

"500,000 gold?!"

"Sister, what are you planning?" Barbara came over.

Also, who calls their sibling sister, like sure, that works.

"What do you mean?"

"That marriage was meant to connect our kingdoms, you'd let that go so easily, and we both know your gaze on Connor, what are you planning." She spoke through her fan, in a hushed voice.

If I made a scene as to not let him go I'd be embarrassing you guys, but if I show that I'm okay with him leaving me I'm ruining a political standing that wouldn't even work out, I'd still do something wrong.

"Have some decorum sister, we haven't had a proper conversation in years, and this is the first thing you say to me? Typical Barbara you think you know everything since you're older and more "mature""

You could tell Barbara didn't take that lightly as she gripped the fan handle tightly, I literally didn't even do anything.

"I'll spare you from any more veins popping up on that face, don't be an ass, we both knew Connor is in love with Serena and that me begging him not to break the engagement would only bring shame onto our family, so I did us both a favor and ended it." I tossed my hair back before grabbing some croissants that were covered in chocolate, powdered sugar, and some strawberries.

Life really is great.

"What about the scandal that would break out."

"Again, it would break out either way, now do me a favor and go back to your group they're staring at me and it's ruining the snack that I have on my plate."

She let out a deep breath before heading off.

Speaking of which I'd rather have a place to place my food and eat it, pretty sure there's a table in the garden under the gazebo if I remember correctly and I don't but whatever.

Just to find a moping Jon.

"Should you be out here?"

"It's unfair once again he gets to have everything"

Oh? Do tell.

I raised an eyebrow at him cutting my croissant in half before placing a half in front of him.

He finally looks up his face turned shocked like I was a ghost or something.

"[name]?!"

I bit into my croissant, nodding.

"Why'd you have to go and break off the engagement, now I have Connor as competition."

I knew this happened in the novel but I just remembered how young he was he's around Damian's age and I'm about the same age as Serena so this was a cry for help.

"Why do you even like Serena?"

"I don't really, it's just... I wanted something that he couldn't obtain he was going to be the first in line, and he's just better than me in lots of things because he has training so I thought, at least I had Serena."

Sometimes I forget that back then age gaps had no restrictions.

"That just means fewer responsibilities anyway, aren't you a little too young to be worrying about any of that? Now, I brought over this croissant but since I'm nice I gave you half." I ruffled his hair and he tried to swipe it away.

"I guess you're right." He started gobbling the desert down.

Honestly, I don't even know why this was a love interest he's literally a minor, maybe that's why the author got backlash against that and the novel was an overall dumpster fire with a basic self-insert MC.

I don't know what's worse the fact that they kept dragging on the storyline or the fact that I'm now in the storyline.

I mean seriously he only liked her because of the plot, he got over this situation so quickly that you wouldn't even know why he was moping earlier.

-

Now back to the circumstance at hand I was at home and seems the family never forgot about me shoving Serena down the stairs, they almost forgot about me breaking off the engagement.

"... what if she got a scratch on her face? Or if the clothes ripped?! Are you listening to me?!" I zoned out for a good second.

See we had gone back to the castle and they kept rambling on and on about what could've happened to Serena had the fall been more steep or rough, but like does she even have even status to attend these events in the first place?

"Since you seem to not care about this we're cutting you off of money for the next month!" She hollered in my ear once more.

"What were you thinking at the ball?" Tim cut into Palmola's ramblings.

"Normalize giving contexts, Tim." He scoffed.

"I was sparring with Kon the other day and he made some bogus statement saying he was breaking off the engagement, I didn't think he would do it, but allowing him to? Have you any idea what this caused?"

"Who am I to stop Crown Prince Connor, Tim? He has a woman to chase, and wasn't going to give it up for this contracted engagement." I glanced at Serena who flinched and hid behind Jason.

"I still doubt that you'd let him go that easily, you've been obsessed with him since you laid eyes on him."

"And you know that because you're my caring younger brother or because you like to throw it in my face on the downfalls of my life?"

"[name]!" Palmola scolded me.

Bruce could only sigh at the scene.

"Palmola!" I retorted, bringing a tense atmosphere to occur.

Alfred arrived at the scene handing me a letter.

"To you, Princess [name]." I opened it to see the rest of the money that Connor promised me had been added to my account even with the 10,000.

I'm rich, but this is just the start.

"If that's all I'll be heading back to my room." I tossed my hair back before ordering the maids to prepare my bath.

"You're taking too long," I told the maids who were congregating among themselves instead of doing their jobs.

"Well, usually, Princ- I mean Lady Serena wouldn't mind-"

"Do I look like her?" I gripped the maid's chin.

"Don't worry, since it bothers you so much to draw me a bath you can pack your things up and leave tomorrow, you're fired." I pushed back my hair in agitation.

"What-"

"Did you not hear me, you're fired, don't make too much noise, go on." I shooed her away.

She just dropped to her knees and started begging me, but I made the other maids drag her out now all of a sudden they wanted to switch up and act proper.

"Now, with that out of the way, someone draw my bath." I rolled my eyes.

I do not condone maid abuse, but what's the point of working here if you don't do your job? So firing is the only option.

3RD POV

"That girl- I swear I don't know where she got that attitude from, did you see the way she talked to me?!" Palmola scoffed.

Duke could only think about how [name] seemed different actually the whole family could be thinking about that.

Damian kept stroking Titus' fur while thinking about how [name] didn't just keep her head down and take his insults. Wait- now that he phrases it like that, it sounds really bad.

Tim just thought about his friend Connor, he had been the one that Connor ranted to about how annoying his sister was but he didn't think [name] would take the cancelation of the engagement that easily, he thought [name] would least throw a tantrum at best. And since earlier he noticed how [name] looked at them at the stairway after. [name] looked at them like they were lower than her.

Dick was processing the whole thing, did [name] always talk like she didn't care for their approval? I mean [name] spoke like this could've been a letter delivered to her door instead of an important conversation. This conversation was important, [name] hurt Serena and canceled a political connection of a lifetime, he could feel a headache approaching.

Jason could only blink at the audacity, sometimes when this happened [name] at least looked like she gave a darn but not only was she okay with that Connor boy leaving her, but also being cut off [name] would at least beg for some forgiveness. But nothing...?

Stephanie would've had a jaw-dropping expression right now, but had her fan covering her mouth, holy lord did that really just happen? I mean [name] did not even try to bother her at the ball but she also gave up the man she bothered until her final breath and 500,000 gold?! That's an insane amount one and two when did [name] learn to negotiate?

Cassandra felt confused about what had just gone down, did she hear that right? That whole thing, just what occurred? [name] changed in two seconds, like she blinked, Serena tumbled down the stairs and then she just acted strange.

(What you're sticking up for yourself? That's criminally insane right there.)

Barbara had already dealt with how [name] did a 180 at the ball but she just thought that was because she thought she had a wedgy at the moment, though in general [name] had never done this so what happened this time?

Bruce well who knows what he's thinking he just looks constipated like isn't supposed to be saving Gotham in another life?/j

Bruce sat there, he didn't raise [name] like that, wait-. He didn't raise [name] at all... Is this his fault that [name] was acting out right now? No, he's been busy and with all the duty of the empire on his hands he couldn't pause it for [name], like yes, he does that for Serena sometimes- all the time but that's different she had a hard childhood growing up.

Serena, well, she gritted her teeth and clenched her fist. For the first time, something didn't go her way. And what was that attitude, who did [name] think she was? She shouldn't even act like that, at this point, everyone knows she's supposed to be in her position. I mean look at her.

So it's time to be the center of attention. Wouldn't you think?

Serena let out a few sniffles catching the attention.

"It's all my fault that she's in a bad mood, I'm sorry."

The family quickly came to comfort her. Never mind what they were thinking before, how could [name] be such a child in this situation?

After taking a nice bath and sneezing I was now changed into my nightgown. These things are nice.

I took [name]'s diary, so was not thinking, writing down her devious plans here, one of the reasons she was caught and executed, and she couldn't rebut it as they had proof.

So I'll do us both a favor and burn it.

Tossed into the flame I could only stare at the burning journal.

Another burning pile.

I should sleep I have a lot of plans tomorrow, and only a few months till school starts.

With a flick of my wrist, the candles blew out and the doors shut.

One perk about this world is the powers.

(H2O just add water)

So instead of actually writing the next part for any other series of mine I decided to make a new writing idea 🌝, I'm also making others in my brain as we speak but we're going to keep them there until I finish at least one of my series.

Anyway did you like it?

I'm going back to work now (writing), *le sigh*.

Happy early Lunar New Year though, I'm manifesting a lot of red envelopes to myself and many others!

If there's anything too cringy, plot holey, or grammatically wrong, do inform me!

[sturnlsstuff]

GHOSTFACE!CHRIS HAS BEEN IGNORING YOU & YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO CONFRONT HIM ABOUT IT.

[ angst, cursing, mentions of murder ]

the feeling of being ignored never bothered you much, usually if someone did that to you your response was simple— you did the same. you didn't care at all, not going to waste your time on someone who didn't want to talk to you.

so why did you feel like this now?

chris didn't talk to you for over a week. at first, you were too busy with your classes and the material you had to catch up on to notice it, but eventually the fact that he wasn't texting you back at all started to weigh on you. the feeling of not knowing why made you anxious, catching yourself at thinking that maybe he had his own 'stuff' to take care of, but it wasn't a problem for him before. so something was going on.

after a few more ignored messages again, you decide to take matters into your own hands and that's how you found yourself at the frat house, entering chris's room, which turned out to be empty. you sigh, deciding to just wait until he comes back from wherever he is.

you look around his room, rolling your eyes at the empty pepsi cans and clothes laying all over the place, which you decide to pick up with the intention of organizing them just at least a little bit, but then the door opens and your eyes fall on chris. shirtless, sweatpants hanging loosely on his hips, a bag of chips in his hand as he stuffs a handful into his mouth, slamming the door shut with his foot.

his eyes finally find you awkwardly standing there, slight surprise on his face before he hides it. stopping in the middle of the room, he looks at his clothes in your hands. "the fuck you doin'?" he frowns, licking his fingers clean.

"you've got quite a mess here," you reply casually.

"and who are you, my mother?" he scoffs, walking over to you and ripping the clothes from your hands only to throw them back to the floor, almost daring you to try and pick them up again.

"no?"

"then don't act like one," he flops down onto the bed, putting the bag of chips next to him and reaching for his phone, completely ignoring your presence. and that just confirmed your suspicions— he really had been ignoring you this past week. you had to find out why, knowing it couldn't be your fault.

"what's your problem?"

"my problem?" there's a hint of annoyance in his tone while he continues scrolling, without giving any glance in your direction. "you're the one who's here when i didn't even tell you to come over."

"well, it'd be hard when you don't even reply to me."

"i'm a busy guy."

"for sure," now there's a scoff leaving your lips. "busy killing people?"

this makes him finally look at you, clearly pissed off, his jaw clenched. "the fuck do y'want, huh?" he sits up, not looking away for even a second. "coming here, tryna arrange my things, as if you owned the place and now you can't even mind your business?"

"can't mind my business?" you raise your eyebrows, shaking your head in disbelief. "my business is the fact you're ignoring me without a reason and act like an asshole."

"m'not ignorin' you, just clearly got overwhelmed spendin' everyday with your bitchy ass, can't understand that?" he stands up, "even nick asks me why don't i have time for hanging out anymore and m'not dreamin' of explaining why."

his words were like a punch to the gut. you were aware you both got a little carried away and were seeing each other constantly, but it wasn't that big of a deal. and it affects you harder than you'd like to admit. "then maybe quit being a ghostface so you'll have time for your brothers."

he takes a step closer to you, tension radiating from his body, voice low and gruff, "who do you think you are, huh? jus' admit y'want my attention all the time 'n stop stickin' nose into my life."

"oh, your attention is the last thing i want, don't worry." you speak in your usual sarcastic tone, trying not to show how his words were making you feel. "act like a man for once and at least tell me if you want this to end, instead of acting like a child who can't communicate."

"want what to end? us having sex? why, when is the only thing y'can offer me?"

chris's words hit too close to home, reminding you that what was going on between you two was only sexual. you knew it, didn't expect anything more— but you felt like that slut everyone thought you were when your ex spread false rumors about you. and what was even worse was the fact chris knew it while saying that.

you hold his gaze, ignoring how your heart sinks. "fuck you," you hiss through your teeth, putting all the hate you felt for him into it, desperate to hurt him as some form of defense. "you're such a pathetic hypocrite, chris. explaining your actions by the fact that other guys have no morals and aren't respectful, when you do the same. you're the biggest asshole of them all and you probably hate yourself for it so you take it out on them. so what can you offer me besides sex? your awful attitude? no, thanks."

chris falls completely silent, almost giving the impression that he didn't hear you, but from the annoyance written all over his face, you knew that he did hear very well. he wasn't able to ignore this like he was ignoring your texts. "the only pathetic thing here is the fact you claim to hate me yet you came here."

"oh, i still hate you, don't worry." you reply.

"then the fuck you doing here?"

it was a good question— too good for your liking, it made you look like a fool. if you didn't care, you wouldn't even think of coming here to talk to him.

"wasting time, apparently." you say, hating how your voice cracked, the anger growing within you, while chris's expression stays unreadable. "you're clearly too immature to talk like normal people, so—"

"yeah, yeah," he scoffs and rolls his eyes, his tone sharp, like he was exhausted by the very thought of explaining this. "look, i thought you were smarter than this," he says, his words cutting through the space between you. "i never promised you anything, not once. you ain't my girlfriend, and honestly, i thought you got that by now, but clearly i was wrong. not my fault you got attached or some shit, so quit that stupid talk, 'cause i don't owe you anything. it gotta finally click in your head, 'cus m'not sayin' this again."

his words hanging in the air, heavy, like they'd been pressed into the glass. they're echoing in your head, louder than the ringing silence in the room, while you try to feel anything— anger, maybe, or relief— but there was nothing anymore. you already knew this, chris wasn't your boyfriend, you had no right to be mad at him for not replying to you, but the feeling of being ignored by him weighed on you.

you just stare at him, knowing he's probably expecting some kind of response, maybe even another sarcastic remark, that would show him how much you don't care. because you don't— right? you should laugh it off, tell him to go to hell and move on with your life. you never expected promises from anyone, least of all him. you weren't surprised, should've been okay with the reality of it all, knowing that you didn't want to be with chris, never even expecting that, but damn. it still stung.

your chest tightening, a dull ache spreading through you, a small half-laughing, half-sighing breath leaving your lips. it wasn't supposed to feel like this, the disappointment you felt flickered in your eyes.

"right. got it," you nod, turning away to leave. and that was it— you wanted to say more than that, to show him you're not aching inside, but the other words got stuck, caught in the mess of your chest.

and you left his room, pretending you didn't feel every word he'd just said as if it was a weight you'd been carrying all along.

autor note: uh oh what's going onnnnnn.... 🤨

taglist: @certifiedstarrr @chrislovespepsi @le4hsblog @sturnsxbitvh @sweetlikesug4rvenom @xaristhings @mattsfavbitchhh @lvrsturniolo @r0s3luvr @slut4brunettes @madisonsturnioloss @chrispillowprincess @sturnioloslutttt4 @ashlishes @mattsbitchh @hi-people-who-are-alive @stellward123 @inssanely @matts-girlfriend @imnotalive420 @emely9274 @shadowthesim @yunkilm @sophiaxsblog @namelesssav @demyackerman @fratbrochrisgf @lvrsturniolo @chrisweetheart @chrisfavoritewhore @sturnslutz @ncm9696 @certified-sturniolo @mattsobvimyfav @swagalicious260 @giannalovessturniolo @sophand4n4 @brazyturtleneck @jocelyncsblog @sophand4n4 @giannalovessturniolo @alesturniolos @ilovenmcs @seluky10 @chriss-slutt @ribbonlovergirl @icrazy106

[rekino2114]

Hello! I'm more of a nanamin & geto girlie, but I can't resist the glorious blue eyed king. Could you write fem! Gojo x bf/husband that's an introvert or just not really that sociable. He's not shy, he just prefers observing and listening rather than talking all the time like a certain someone. It's prob giving hyper x calm

Fem!gojo with an introvert reader

It's definitely hyper x calm

Gojo is always trying to do something with you, especially if it's something outdoors, while you would much rather stay inside and chill with her and you two just settle it with rock paper scissors and she always complains if she loses

Sometimes, she just convinces you other ways, though, like if you go out with her she'll buy you some stuff that you want (even if she already always does that) especially books to read together or sweets to eat (she eats most of them)

Cuddling is your favorite pastime because both of you love it. She gets to be affectionate with you, and you get to just relax in peace.....well not really because gojo still keeps talking to you even when you're cuddling. It's mostly just whatever comes to her mind plus a few compliments, cause to her she can never compliment you too much, while you just listen to her and nod occasionally

She's also incredibly affectionate in public. She will hug you and pepper your face in kisses no matter who's around. Sometimes, she'll even just start making out on the spot for no reason other than she missed doing it. When she pulls back, she just smiles like always while you look at her with a deadpan expression a bit annoyed that everyone is watching you now

All of your friends genuinely don't understand how you can deal with her, utahime and nanami, especially, you're calm and.....not annoying and gojo is....gojo they have no idea how you can stand her much less love her. they both spit their tea and almost fainted when you announced you were getting married

One time you went to visit her at school because she forgot something and the moment she saw you she immediately tackled you in a hug and started kissing you while telling you how much of an amazing husband you are. Meanwhile her students (except for megumi) were like:"YOU TWO ARE MARRIED!?" Cause they honestly thought you would get sick of gojo eventually

"Of course we're married, y/n is the love of my life and he's soooo handsomely and caring and amazing, *sighs* I'm so lucky"

".....can you please stop hugging now, everyone is looking.....and it's kinda tight"

"Oh yeah sorry babe"

[zeekszooks]

The only thing I want my ai robot to do that might be considered "pattern watching" and "generative" would be a Baymax.

Basically using a data log with trial and error in order to just be kind of a care robot. Though technology now is WAY too under advanced and at this point should send people to doctors rather than y'know play doctor?

Also this 'Baymax' would also HAVE to be made by doctors like reason why the Baymax we know took trial and error. (Honestly in the movie 84 tries is a mindblowingly low for success good on him tho.) Though that's the difference. Real life Baymax is not a replacement to the real deal human... as well as the tool that doctors use.

Humans are still needed and it is a tool to assist. It shouldn't replace the entire process. I say the only time the genertive is ok is IF you don't literally copy and paste then say you did all the work. You either use it as a reference or guide to improve your craft.

Also I don't respect AI that is programmed by artwork that was unvoluntary. It's like hearing the quiet kid say a joke then saying it louder and not saying 'oh I was just saying it louder _ is a hoot right guys?' Like those artist didn't want you to take and use their art without credit.

Though even WITH credit it's pretty ... well scummy... like... honestly I'd compare it to more like the Honey extention. You didn't ask you didn't tell and boy howdy even if you did tell you really shouldn't have. ... no really...

The first one I mentioned COULD be like a walking 911 machine for the human if they... like are close to hard attack or stoke ect to get humans... the whole point is the end result is human doing the thing. If AI did the whole task it gets rid of the humanity... and charm... and art... is very much a 'Why did you put this here what is the meaning nice brush what settings?' (VERY MUCH SO WITH ABSTRACT TOO.)

Artist help artist grow. AI helps me get very uninterested in the your art because there was no well... choice, with symbolism or anything. No, 'Why did they put this here?' Not even a, 'Is that a style choice? It seems consistant enough though I might ask if it's a headcannon or possibly an au!'

It's just:

Me: "Oh cool what brush did you use I wanna try it out to try myself!"

Random Person: "It's AI good prompt right?"

Me: "Uh neat. Gonna use it as a reference?"

Random Person: "Nope this is it. I could NEVER draw. You people are just born with a talent."

Me: "Huh."

My inner monolouge: They are not going to improve their craft? Like at all? Practice is all it takes... this is boring now I can't even think on why they chose a heart instead of a star because it was probably an AI error.

Me: "Cool thx bye."

Also... btw I wasn't born with the art skills I have... it takes a lot to improve. Also I still think I can improve. (Artist curse trying not to say I suck)

I don't know if Op agrees but just know I'm agreeing people are using it poorly but also not for a better use. I do think Op prefers a human making the art in the end at least.

i wonder if these ai people are thinking that im gonna be like "aahh!! you're right!! ive been such a fool !! certainly i can tell a robot to make something for me and it'll be just as good as something i can make with my own hands!! thank you, group of buffoons!" im not man. im really not

[kawhh]

I love the dark thoughts so much this is just me joking. Poor Luke witnessing Jack's (picked him since they are around each other more) weirdness with his girlfriend.

Luke having to uber home from most team nights out because Jack took his girl home after an hour because someone asked to buy her a drink.

Jack coming in with a Tiffany bag. Luke, "what did you get." Jack, flipping open a small box, "engagement ring." Luke, "it's been two weeks." Jack, staring into his eyes deadpan, "ya, and?"

Luke reading Jack's hockey notes and having to ignore the margins full of her first name with the last name Hughes.

Luke trying to tune Jack out as he fidgets on the couch because she's taking an everything shower and he's been away from her for too long.

Luke at the lakehouse, "should we invite [whoever] down with the rest of the guys?" Jack, "no, he told me we should have it be guys only 'for old times sake.' I don't want that toxicity near her."

Jacks' girl, "it's so nice having a whole summer with you." Jack, "do you want me to quit hockey? I'll do it if you want that for us." Luke, around the corner just trying to eat a family sized bag of skittles in peace, laments about what he did to deserve dealing with this.

MY LOVE. I'M GIGGLING. POOR LITTLE LUKE, HE'S SO CONFUSED.

He's probably up texting Quinn asking what the fuck has happened to Jack. Man thinks he's hallucinating and that his brother surely can't be like this.

He was never like this before meeting you, did he get hit on the head?

Can he swap brothers? Can Quinn come to NJ? He can deal with Jack being shipped off. Anything to get away from whatever weirdness he's got going on.

They have one of those life360 apps on their phone to know where all the family is to make everything less lonely and he could swear he's seen his brother being a creeper outside your apartment for hours before.

What the fuck is wrong with this kid?

He doesn't understand how you aren't running for the hills. He knows he would be.

[distant--shadow]

Okay, I have three (3) thoughts about the state of cr's talkback shows atm and I've decided to write them in your ask box. Feel free to ignore:

I think the quality of the questions in the fireside chat was strongly linked to 4sd and, mainly, the tower of inquiry. As much as I like the idea of having a section where evergreen questions can be asked, they really lean towards the “what if the world was made of pudding?” genre of questions and I think that - combined with the attention that gets drawn to the questions by the Jenga game and the milque-toast-ness of the other questions on 4sd - has encouraged the fandom to discuss and focus on those questions more than we used to.

I also really miss the fact that talk machina had a presenter (who, for the sake of clarity, was fired for obvious reasons and I’m not, in any way, advocating for him to come back). The fact that both the presenter of 4sd and order of questions in the tower of inquiry and deep dive sections are random, means that whether the cast elaborate on their answers is up to chance. I feel like, with the cast being more detached from the fanbase than they used to (for good reason) there really should be someone on screen who knows what questions were answered in the past and can guide the conversation so that they don’t spend 10 minutes discussing “think about this AU” questions and then only give in-depth character analysis a single sentence before being distracted by a joke or running out of time. To be clear, this isn’t a criticism of the cast at all, you can’t both give really good, in-depth answers to questions while also coming up with your own follow-up questions and staying engaged in and shaping the discussion as a whole. I’d say Dani is the obvious pick for a presenter but I think her interests are more in the shippy/fanon side (which is fine, I’m not trying to police how anyone interacts with the show) so I’d prefer her questions to be interjections rather than the whole thing.

This campaign has had a significant percentage of it’s talkback shows taken up by overlap with other stuff (party splits, vox machina and the mighty nein getting their own eps, overlap with calamity and downfall etc.) and, in an ideal world, I’d want them to do separate that stuff out and do extra shows about that, rather than letting it eat into valuable question answering time for bells hells.

All this to say: if cr wants to make a talkback show specifically tailored to me, I'm down with them flying me out to America so I can host my new talkback show called “AU? No thank you!” where we exclusively talk about bells hells and all hypotheticals are banned. Nobody but me would enjoy it but I'm the main character of my story so...

appreciate you engaging and putting your thoughts out there via my inbox!

I agree with most of this, I can respect what they were trying with 4sd but yeah it did not deliver the meat that talks did, and I would love to have a simple discussion show like that back (at one point I would have suggested dani as host too, but if anything these fireside and 4sd eps have proven that she is way too fanon-brained/shipping inclined and I personally, can't stand when she interjects without being asked for an answer (though correcting lore is a different case and pretty much always appreciated))

I can deal with a little amount of what if the world was pudding type questions, but ultimately yeah, it does come across as "so what if we got a different story than the one you chose to give us?" there are cases when yeah maybe it wasn't as conscious as a decision or another factor where yeah, I would like to know the alternative, but i agree with ya there.

I will also say that yes, I do think the shape of the questions selected is in part to match the more laid back and goofy vibes of 4sd, the evergreen questions and such really are not a good choice and absolutely there wa sso much going on during this campaign that reaaaallly broke up the momentum (momentum which still managed to feel oppressive), but i would say I do also think an amount of it is just how modern fandom is, to sound like an old guy yelling at a cloud. so many things come into play here, parasocial stuff, attention spans, isolation and selfishness, populatiry contests within fandoms and how that births popular works/notions from fanon being perceived as canon law, etc etc.

as I keep saying, I want people to make, I want people to have fun, but it's a yeowch from me when that feeds back into the source material, or at least spin offs of it. I do think it is a case of both parties being somewhat guilty, ask baby questions get baby answers, if people engage with fanservice and it gets views then they're gonna cater to that because they need eyes on them to exist as a company. I'm really not the person to be doing the write ups about this, but i do think it's important to share my opinions on my most beloved piece of media, in some ways especially because I create so much "content" for it.

I've pretty much always felt like an outsider within fandom space, and whether that's because of what I want out of it, what I want to see for my favourite characters, or my behaviour, or my work - I don't know, but i do know that for years of watching this show I kept well away from the fandom space or even sharing my drawings caus I didn't want it to hinder my experience and enjoyment of watching, and when the stuff I've been trying to avoid is seeping it's way into the actual shows then yeah, it is something I wanna speak out on.

[menlove]

random beatles lore i need an answer on. what’s the deal with paul proposing to multiple people before getting married to linda ? i thought he was just with jane up until linda like was he just desperate to have a spouse in that era or what

oh goooood question. we don't know exactly why he did all that bc he's never talked about it but i'll give u some details & my own two Potential Reasons

he proposed to three people Seriously: jane, maggie mcgivern, & linda. he also "jokingly" proposed to cyn and a female reporter? (or something along those lines i can't find the exact thing rn, if anyone has that one. i know i reblogged it at some point). cyn, he jokingly proposed to after john left her- brought her a single rose and said "how about it, cyn?"

but maggie and linda.... he wasn't with jane the entire way up to getting with linda. officially, anyway, bc if there's one thing paul loves to do it's cheat. one of the women he was having an affair with was maggie mcgivern. they had a 3 year long affair starting in '66. paul & jane broke up in july of '68 and in september, paul took maggie on a surprise trip to sardinia, where...

“We were lying on the beach just being young and in love. Paul turned to me, smiling, and out of the blue he just said: ‘Have you ever thought about getting married?’. I said, ‘yes, I suppose, one day…’ and I thought nothing more of it. Looking back, it was obviously the wrong answer. When I said one day I I meant in six months, maybe, but not never. But Paul was always slightly insecure and probably saw me as such a free spirit that he thought I was never going to settle down… I suppose I assumed that we would end up together but at the time I was just enjoying it all. In the ‘Sixties there was just so much going on that I didn’t have time to sit and think about the future. I suppose that, with the pressures of fame, Paul was craving security.”

maggie mcgivern, 1997 (x)

now, with linda... they started their affair a bit Before him and jane broke up. like i said, they broke up in july. but paul & linda had a "dirty weekend" in late june when he flew to nyc & then la. here's a longer post about all of that. so by the time he was proposing to maggie, he'd already had an affair with linda.

iiiinterestingly, he called linda & asked her to fly out to london in september (from paul mccartney: a life by peter carlin) and that's when their relationship became serious. so he got rejected by maggie (or he thought he did) and immediately went "ah right, who else could i possibly see myself settling down and having kids with? linda!" he still saw maggie for a while but eventually they stopped going out as he went all in with linda & wound up proposing to and marrying her.

as to Why The Hell Did He Do All That? well i have 2 thoughts on that

for both of them, though, i think it was really kicked into gear by john and yoko's relationship. like whether or not he had romantic feelings for john, i think he saw just how serious john was about yoko in comparison to cyn. and ringo & george were also married. when he talks about john & yoko, he frequently talks about it as the end of their bachelor days even though john wasn't a bachelor lmfao. but i think it kicked his ass into going oh shit i need to settle down and marry a woman too.

my Two Thoughts: a) the one i personally believe bc i think that man is queer as the day is long. but i think he realized that he needed to settle down and have that heterosexual lifestyle. he was the last unmarried beatle. there's this fun lil homophobic comment that reveals SO much about where paul's head was at imo:

-from "apple scruffs come to dinner" by andrew bailey (x)

interestingly, that's also the night they had a huge argument and he went to maggie's house crying (more about that in that source for maggie's quote up there). not sure if this was before or after the 26 year old queer comment, but i'm guessing after.

it's like a pretty Common refrain in history for queerness to be viewed as a sort of childish thing. like it's okay when you're young, not so much when you're older. i think with jane leaving & john getting swallowed up by another all-consuming, co-dependent partnership that Wasn't with paul, he realized he had to "grow up" so to speak. john had Grown Up and away from whatever fucky thing him and paul had going on and bc he always had to mirror john, he had to Grow Up too. which brings me to....

b) the other (boring) option is what follows if he's just your normal cishet dude and his 26 year old queer never to get married comment was Purely just him being a dick (totally possible lmfao, i just Personally think it still says a lot about him even if he didn't mean for it to). but it's still the same sort of motivation- the rest of his bandmates were married, john was moving on, the band was in chaos. he would've wanted to settle down and have children as is the heterosexual Norm and even straight people face pressure to do that in a certain amount of time. i really think the Franticness of it and the quick turn around with linda speaks more to a deeper underlying motivation, like being queer and the guy you're in love with has Grown Up, but it could just be a paul neuroses thing too.

tl;dr: man was juggling a bunch of affairs & decided he had to settle down and have a wife and kids Right That Second. jane dumped him and maggie said no, so he called linda and the rest is history. whether it's bc he was queer and panicking as he realized he was too old to be queer (my personal thought) or bc he was a straight man still under the societal pressure to have a wife and kid, we'll Never Know.

[cleolinda]

JANUARY 6: I fought my first monster in Silent Hill 2, or any video game, for that matter. It was rough, but James and I prevailed.

JANUARY 7: I went back to try the combat tutorial again and get some practice. This audio (my voice only) is more of a walkthrough than just the fight itself—a description of the "lying figure" monster, my inability to get over hitting the wrong healing key, the way the game teaches you 1) how to pick up healing items and 2) disappointment, the side effects of long covid, and my continued struggles to get James through doors. And then, finally, we fight. I've improved so much!

CURRENT DAY: I am working on getting some actual video gameplay of my fights (yes, multiple) with Pyramid Head. I sincerely have 20+ minutes of him killing me 11 times so I can practice Basic Gamer Skills. This will follow the video of me originally shrieking for 3 minutes.

(Comments directed at my player character are in parentheses.) {Comments directed at the enemy/monster are in brackets and bold.} Content: Vomit is one of the monster's attacks but I don't describe it at much length (I don't care for it either). A body-horror monster is described but only in terms of clothing.

The problem was that when I was trying to fight this lying figure… monster… the camera was way too sensitive, and every time I tried to move, it was going around the room and I wasn't able to see exactly where the vomit was coming from. 


So, if you haven't played Silent Hill, if you're not—Silent Hill 2, rather—and you're not familiar with this—this monster... they're all fucked up, just off the bat. But specifically, this is a... feminine-looking figure... the top half is kind of a weird... I don't really know how to describe this. It's supposed to kind of have.... aspects of maybe a body bag and a straitjacket and kind of some corset lacing detail? This is all like a maroon color. Uh... it doesn't have a face, that's covered. Somehow it's able to vomit through all this. It vomits acid—HUGE shower—cone of—of acid, and the bottom half is just like... legs... in platform heels. When I get to the actual recorded gameplay, we'll talk about what the fuck this has to do with anything, because it's got—it—this imagery is for a reason. They never explain it in-game, but it's for a reason. 

So I'm having to rock up to this figure—oh, it doesn't have arms. It does, but they're like... bound underneath this straitjacket-type... business. So all it can do is... run at me... headbutt... vomit... I forget if there's a third thing it can do... specifically. These are extremely difficult, actually—oh, oh, it gets on the floor and it slithers around. That's not helpful either. So, that—which makes it harder to hit—like you want it on the ground where it can't vomit on you? But that also makes it a lot harder to hit it. So... this is what I'm having to deal with [laughing] in my very first combat. And that's why I was sitting there the other day going, “No, no, c’mere. C’mere. Can’t reach you. C’mere.” And that's why I said I got vomited on.... a lot, because I have the camera spinning around the room and I can't see what direction it's coming from. And life is already hard. Life is already hard, and I'm already having a hard enough time making this man walk forward. So...

And there's also a stomp... kind of function—I thought this was maybe a separate control, like press this for hit, press this for stomp. No, it's just whatever James feels like. It's just whatever he feels like in the moment. People really enjoy the stomping—players really enjoy the stomping. And I was like, I don't—I don't know how much I like this. It's a lot of grunting. I'm not—I'm not sure how down with this I am. And [then] I'm like oh, oh okay, I don't get to choose. This is just James working some feelings out. That's. Okay. So stomping actually works really well when something slithers across the floor. So I will let him make that judgment call.

Right now we are in this skeevy house on Martin Street—oh, oh that [camera] is not sensitive enough at all. Oh, boy, yeah that's not fast enough. Okay. Settings—you get to come along for the ride with me, I'm very sorry about that, but... this is.... this is part of the ~journey. “Look” sensitivity [i.e., mouse control of the camera sensitivity]. Let's put you back on [0.]20 and we're gonna see how that goes.

Also, I'm kind of... not sorry we're putting off the combat. I... survived. My first combat tutorial, I survived it... but it was rough. Uh... I nearly failed this man. He was at death’s door. He had the plus sign come up, he had the really thick red border vignette come up. We just managed to find a syringe in time. That was my fault—well, all of this is my fault—but that was my fault because they gave us a health drink before going into this. That's why it's a tutorial, they kind of walk you through—here's what you're gonna need during it, here’s what you're gonna need after it, after you've got your ass beat. And you hit V [key] once to take this health drink that heals you a little bit. And then when you have a syringe, you hold V down to take this greater healing item. And I, in my infinite wisdom, hit V down and held it in my urgency to heal him while getting vomited on, and obviously he didn't have a syringe yet, we hadn't gotten that far, and so I just stood there doing nothing, healing nothing, while getting beaten up by a monster without arms.

So... it was an adventure—see, here's what's so funny. Most people know how to do the health drink tap and they can't figure out how to do the syringe because they miss the part where you have to hold the key down. I did the reverse where I couldn't figure out the normal basic thing. Because that's me. That's me as a person and a gamer. I will always find a new and interesting way to be wrong about something.

All right, let's see... how does this—okay that [camera sensitivity is] livable, that's livable. All right, all right, point the camera. The Camera Is The Most Important Part Of Walking. Nobody told me that. I learned this… for myself. 

[In the room just before combat:] I have to point him at the door knob, not just the door. Okay, so here is the cabinet. We're gonna point him at this cabinet. (No—a little bit—there you go. This is on me. This is not you. This is a little bit on you. E [key], we're gonna pick that up.)

This is the nutritional supplement—how this heals you? I—how would a nutritional supplement heal you? Are we talking like, Ensure? Are we talking Boost? Are we talking kombucha? Yeast? I don't know what this is. Why would—why would this do anything? “For adoh”—[sigh] I can talk. I really can. [Reading:] “For adults only. Do not exceed recommended dose.” So we're gonna take 500 of these. Okay. That's fine. All right, and so then— [The game tells you to tap V to use the health drink.] I'm not pressing V now! I'm not pressing V now! Then there's another cabinet. It's empty. The game demonstrates for us: disappointment. It demonstrates for us that sometimes things will be empty, because I would not have understood that otherwise.

All right, so here is—here is the door. I went through the wrong door last time.

[Long pause.]

My brain just... died, what am I doing? I'm pointing him at the door knob. Okay, I have long covid. I'm blaming that on everything. I'm blaming everything on that—I—both ways. I'm blaming everything on everything. (Please walk through the door, sweetie...) [I am struggling to direct James through doors. Again.] (I know, that's the hinge—don't—don't bump into it like—don't—just act like you're so inconvenienced. Come on. YOU KNOW WHAT A DOOR IS! —That’s the wall, I’m sorry. I—don't—don't just brush into the wall like you're just really playing it up. I know I'm a terrible person.)

(Okay, open door... open door. All right... all right...)

I'm probably gonna die this time. I'm probably going to be complacent and I'm going to die. All right. So: here's our monster detector/wife communicator. “E.” Cutscene. Here we go. (Pick it up!) It's making noise. All right. [Repeating what James says:] “Stay back.” I agree with that, I cosign that. 

Monster falls out. It's fucked up. Stare at it a little bit—the ratio looks a lot better. [I had spent a week trying to figure out how to correct the “wideness” of the picture.] That's what I'm focusing on in this moment—it's standing up. It's standing up. (Okay. Get that stick. [Your first weapon: in the cutscene, James picks up a plank of wood with nails on the end.] Get that stick. Get that stick.) 

{Stay back. Stay the fuck back.} Here we gooooo... [Vehement mouse clicking.] (Hit it? Hit it. Hit it? Hit it. Hit it—) {Are you gonna vomit?!} (Dodge! Dodge? We DODGED IT! All right! Do it again. Do it again. Okay, we’re gonna come forward—we're gonna—beat the shit out of this thing, come on, you can do it! You can do it.) 

{No! Are you about to throw up? Are you about to vomit—}

(Get it! Get it—) Oh! This is so clean. Oh, this is so clean. I didn't—didn't— (STOMP IT. There you go. It's not done until you say “what the hell is that.”) [The combat tutorial is over when James says, “What was that thing?”] (Stomp it? Yeah, just keep hitting it. Yeah.) “What was that thing?” he says. [Audibly clapping hands:] All right... all right. I didn't take a single hit. All right. 

(What was that, James? I don't know, hit it again.)

What are we doing? Okay, okay—where—where are we going? Do we get to leave? Is that a thing we get to do? No? Ever. Do we ever get to leave? Here we go. 

[k0nanharv3y]

Tim Is A Wayne. AU

Au where Tim joins the batfam early but decides to have a simple life

Most "Tim joins the batfam early" fics end with Jason never going to Ethiopia and Tim becoming Robin while Jason becomes Flamebird or Red Hood. And I'm usually fine with that

But

Listen to me carefully

What if... What if Tim doesn't become Robin? 😦😦😦😦😦

LISTEN TO ME

PUT DOWN THAT ROCK

So... yeah, the kid likes to run around Gotham and take pictures, but let's be honest, Tim is an amateur, the only times he plays the hero are to protect himself or because the situation requires it

So... Tim keeps "sneaking" around to take pictures of Batman and Robin, and I say "sneaking" because even if he walked out the door it wouldn't change the fact that everyone already knows. And Tim doesn't want to become Robin, in canon he never wanted to be Robin, but Batman needed a Robin, but since Jason never died, then Tim doesn't have to become Robin

Do you get my point?

No? I don't care

There are two paths here, Tim becomes a spy for the Bats and now takes pictures of villains and deals in illegal stuff and... Well, he's an Oracle but physical (SOMEONE GIVE ME TIM A SPY, I AM BEGGING YOU) and now he has backup in case he falls off a building or someone notices him, and now he has equipment that doesn't consist of black clothes and worn out sneakers, but he never becomes a vigilante who fights bad guys, he's... Natasha Romanoff but without the fighting skills

And the other way... Tim... has a normal life 😦😦😦😦😦😦😦 as normal as being Bruce Wayne's son would allow him, he goes to school even though he's ahead, he has two brothers who love him and are willing to kill/die for him, he has Alfred (which, being the only member who doesn't stay up all night hitting people, he appreciates him and teaches him things about life [TIM KNOWS HOW TO COOK LIKE ALFRED, SOMEONE, I BEG YOU TO GIVE ME THAT] and among all his grandchildren, Tim is the favorite). And he has Bruce, who is a good father and is thrilled that one of his sons didn't take his path and is safe at home :D

Here are two more paths from "Tim Joining The Batfam Early" and that is... Jason's Death. It didn't happen: It's a lot of what you read above, not a lot of changes and that's fine. And... Jason does die

But Bruce doesn't get another Robin and Tim doesn't become Robin because his brother just died in that suit... a lot of Angst there. And Bruce doesn't break down because his family won't let him, he can't break down because his other son needs him. And when Jason comes back the first thing he wants to do is see his little brother

And there's plenty of angst there for them to feed on

But let's leave the angst aside, let's get to the fun part

Jason never dies and Tim is kidnapped

Option A) Tim stays silent as he waits for whoever comes to get him out of here, staring at anyone who passes by

Option B) He unties himself and escapes to the roof, waiting for whoever is coming for him to appear

Tim finishes high school and goes to Ivy University and is accepted with a scholarship and the family is happy

Tim welcomes Damian with open arms because he always wanted a little brother (he wanted to stop being treated like the baby of the family, please, he's 15 now) and Damian wants to hate this kid because it seems like everyone in the family loves him, but he's the person who gives the most stability to the mansion and the family and he's the one who convinced Bruce to let him have a cat

Tim is still the smartest of the 3 brothers, he helps out with whatever he can, Superboy has a weird crush on him, he solves all of Nygma's riddles and brags about it on social media, he does his internships at WE but not out of necessity but because it's his father's company. Ra's has his eye on him for some reason ????? But fuck everyone, Ra's looks at him too much and his family will make sure that's the last thing he does

And Tim... he lives a normal life. He goes to college, he has friends outside of the masks, he is loved and he loves and... It's okay

And WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT IS THIS THOUGHT???? TIM BECOMING RED HOOD????????? WHAT?????? that's another post, lol

[lizsos]

I'm Dangerous pt.2

▪︎warning : dirty talk, phone sex , masterbution, g!p , mdni.

▪︎ Genre : smut

Every time you visited Bada she'd do the same thing every damn time until one day you told her that they'd be assigning you to a new prison .

She was furious you tried calming her down and telling her that her new doctor would be nice and less strict surprisingly she agreed but to one condition . "you have to respond to my calls when i call you" you were caught off guard but smiled a bit and agreed "deal"

So that was your life for these next few months hell maybe even years.

This is a collect call from the Seoul Correctional Facility from

"Bada Lee," Her voice raspy and nonchalant as always, a stark contrast to the excitement bubbling inside you.

If you accept the charges, please press 1

like second nature you instantly press one. "This phone call will be recorded and subject to monitoring...." the autonomous voice instructs. the line clicks, a soft trill signaling the connection, and then a faint beeping tone echoes through your receiver. Your heart pounds in anticipation, your grip on the phone tightening as the line goes silent for just a beat too long . A beeping goes off, and your heart beats heavily.

"Hey princess," Bada's voice, low and gravelly, rolls through the phone. A smile instantaneously forms on your face, it's been a while since you had spoken to Bada on the phone. Her ass was always getting thrown into ad seg for one reason or another.

"Hi baby," your voice is soft and sweet, and Bada feels her heart swelling as she finally hears your voice in what feels like forever. No matter how hardened life makes her, hearing your voice always makes her melt.

“Damn, it’s good to hear you,” she mutters, her tone a little softer now. "They threw my ass in the hole cause some fuckface wanted to try and take the box of Honeybuns from the package you sent me last week."

"Of course they did," you reply with a light laugh, shaking your head. "You can't go a month without stirring up trouble, can you?"

"It's not my fault," Bada defends, the familiar cockiness in her voice making your stomach flutter. "You send me the good shit, princess. You think I'm gonna let some punk get his hands on my Honeybuns?"

You bite your lip to suppress a giggle, imagining her in her element, standing tall and intimidating, defending your care package like her life depended on it. "Well, at least now I know how much you appreciate my efforts."

"Appreciate?" Bada scoffs playfully. "Baby, I worship the ground you walk on for those packages. You should see these guys. They're practically drooling over the stuff you send me. It’s like I’m a queen in here."

"Aweee babyyyy," you coo, biting your lip as your cheeks heat up. Bada always knew just what to say to make you feel giddy like a young girl in love for the first time. "Just for that I'll send you something extra special next week."

Bada lets out a low chuckle, the sound deep and raspy, sending a warm shiver down your spine. "You’re too good to me, princess. You’ve got me spoiled," she says, and though her tone is teasing, there’s a genuine softness beneath her words.

"Someone’s gotta take care of you," you reply, your voice playful but full of affection. "You’re lucky I love you enough to deal with all this drama."

"Lucky doesn’t even cover it," Bada mutters, her voice dropping an octave. "I don’t deserve you, but I’m not letting you go. Ever."

Your heart skips a beat at her words, the weight of her sincerity making your chest tighten. "You don’t have to," you whisper. "I’m not going anywhere, Bada."

"Good," she says firmly, the possessiveness in her tone sending a rush of heat through you. "Cause when I get out of here, you’re mine. Completely. No one else gets a second of your time."

"You already have me," you say softly, the vulnerability in your voice making her pause.

"I know," she murmurs after a moment, her tone unusually tender. "And that’s the only thing keeping me sane in this place. Knowing I’ve got you waiting for me on the other side."

Tears prick at the corners of your eyes, but you blink them away, refusing to let the sadness take over. "I’ll always be here, baby. No matter how long it takes."

"Enough about me though," she tries to change the subject, hearing the vulnerability in your voice. She hates knowing you're missing her like that, especially when she can't do anything about it. "How’s my pretty girl?” she asks, her voice dropping to that lower, huskier tone that always makes your stomach flutter.

“I’m okay,” you reply, leaning back against the couch as you let yourself sink into her voice. “But I’d be better if you were here.”

A low chuckle rumbles through the phone. “Trust me, princess, I’d do anything to be there with you right now.” Bada looks around her surroundings, the dreary cement walls and identical cell doors that go on and on. She leans against the divider that separates all the phones, metal phone wire feeling cool against her arm. It's late at night, most of the prisoners already in their cells asleep. Bada was lucky enough to know someone on the inside, getting the privilege to have late night calls with you, getting as much privacy as she could get. A single guard supervises her haphazardly.

The thought of her—of her rough hands on your skin, her lips brushing against your ear as she whispered all the things she wanted to do to you—makes heat pool low in your belly. The distance between you feels unbearable, but her voice keeps you grounded, tethered to the connection you share.

“What are you wearing?” she asks suddenly, her tone playful but suggestive.

"Bada," you laugh, your cheeks flushing. "You’re ridiculous."

“I’m serious,” she replies, her voice darkening with desire. “I need a little something to keep me going while I’m stuck in here.”

You glance down at your oversized t-shirt, wearing nothing but that and some panties. Biting your lip as a grin creeps onto your face. “Nothing special,” you tease. “Just your t-shirt, the one I stole from you.”

"Just my shirt? Nothing else?" She clears her throat with a grunt, looking around to make sure nobody else could hear. Although let's face it, she wouldn't care regardless.

"Mmm that and some panties of course. Like I always wear to bed," you respond, playing with the hem of your shirt mindlessly. The shirt itself wafted of Bada's musky scent, piney with a dash of smoke and a hint of jasmine.

"What panties?" Bada tries to imagine you, all pretty and barefaced, ready for bed in one of her shirts that swallow your frame. No bra, the outline of your nipples showing through the soft fabric. The bottom of your ass poking out from under her shirt.

"The frilly lacy baby pink pair you got me from Victoria's Secret," pulling up your shirt just enough to see the panties you wear, Bada being oh so familiar with the pair. "You know, the ones I wore when we went to that fancy Brazilian steakhouse, and you made me keep them on as you fucked me in the bathroom?"

She groans softly, the sound sending a shiver down your spine. “Damn, you know what that does to me, don’t you?”

“Maybe,” you reply, your voice light but filled with heat. Bada started this little game, but you could play it better.

"Fuck I miss you princess," her voice is gravelly, needy as she bites her lip.

"I miss you too baby," your lip curls into a sweet smile, words sounding like sugar.

"No, like I really miss you," Bada looks down at the scratchy sweatpants she's forced to wear, seeing the bulge she now adorns getting bigger and bigger as she paints an image of your pretty self.

"Oh?"

"Wanna help me out ma?" The raspiness of her sultry voice has you weak in the knees and you could almost perfectly picture the wolfish grin she was wearing.

"Bada I don't know..." Feeling bashful, your teeth tug at your lip as you contemplate. Sure you've mailed her pretty pictures with way too much cleavage, some in revealing outfits and "bathing suits", but never have you ever had phone sex with her while she's been locked up.

"C'mon mama, I really need you right now. Miss you so much. Miss your gorgeous face. Miss your cute smile. That pretty pussy of yours." At this point she was rock hard, erection now prominent even in those baggy sweatpants.

"Aren't you in public right now, love?" Raising an eyebrow, you try to imagine Bada as she's in a corner of the public area, standing next to one of the phones that's stuck to the wall.

"Relax princess, it's already past curfew. I got special phone privileges courtesy of Shiu. Pays to know people inside," she clicks her tongue proudly, her smirk almost audible.

"Mmm okay, if you say so baby," sinking down more into the couch, obliging with a tint of pink on your cheeks.

"That's my girl." There's a slight pause, then a rustling sound as Bada leans closer to the phone. "Now, put the phone on speaker so I can hear every little thing, okay princess?"

"Okay, Bada." Turning on speakerphone, you set the phone on the arm of the couch right next to where your head rests. So, what do you want me to do first, baby?" you ask, your voice tinged with playfulness and a hint of arousal.

Bada's chuckle is low and husky, sending a shiver down your spine. "Well, for starters... tell me exactly what you're wearing."

You bite your lip, glancing down at yourself before responding, "Like I said earlier, just your old shirt and that pair of baby pink lace panties. Nothing else."

Her mind was so foggy with lust and need that she had forgotten she asked you that, causing that hard predicament that sits in her pants. "Oh, right. That pretty pink pair that I like to slide to the side and fuck you in."

Your breathing hitches, the heat pooling in your core at her words. Bada’s voice, low and laden with want, is enough to make your body respond instantly. You shift slightly, your thighs squeezing together as the familiar ache begins to build.

“You remember everything, don’t you?” you tease, though your voice comes out softer than you intended.

“How could I forget?” she rasps, her tone sending a delicious shiver down your spine. “You looked so fucking good in them. Still do, I bet. Are they wet yet, princess?” Bada reels her memories, thinking of your legs spread open, showing that cute little damp patch of arousal that would soak through the frilly material.

Your cheeks flush crimson, her bluntness never failing to catch you off guard. “Maybe,” you admit shyly, your voice barely above a whisper.

“That’s my girl,” she murmurs approvingly. “Touch yourself for me, baby. I wanna hear those sweet little sounds you make when you think of me.” A hand goes into her sweats, palming herself through her boxers. It didn't bother her in the slightest that anyone could see. Her perfect girl was on the line, moaning and mewling just for her and she wanted—no needed—to get off to you.

"Bada," you breathe out, the warmth spreading through your chest and settling low in your belly. You hesitate for just a moment before letting your hand slip beneath the hem of your shirt, your fingertips brushing against the lace of your panties. “I miss you,” you whisper, your voice trembling slightly.

“Fuck, I miss you too,” she groans, the sound of her restraint evident in her tone. “Keep going, princess. Tell me what you’re doing.”

Your hand slips beneath the lace, your fingers dipping into the slick heat between your thighs. “I’m... I’m touching myself,” you confess, your voice trembling with a mixture of embarrassment and desire.

“Good girl,” Bada growls, her words like a low purr that rumbles through the receiver. “You know how much I love hearing you, baby. Don’t hold back. Let me hear those pretty little moans.”

Your free hand clutches at the couch cushion as your fingers begin to move in slow, deliberate circles. The sound of Bada’s breathing, heavy and uneven, fills your ear and fuels the fire building inside you. Closing your eyes, you imagine it's her hovering over you, fingers teasing your clit just how she always does.

"Bada," you whimper, her name falling from your lips like a prayer.

“That’s it, princess,” she encourages, her voice thick with need. “Keep saying my name. Let me know how good it feels.”

You close your eyes, letting her voice guide you as your movements grow more insistent. “I wish you were here; my fingers can't do what yours do,” you whisper, your words shaky as the pleasure builds. “I need you so bad, Bada.”

“Fuck, baby, you’re killing me,” she groans, the sound of rustling fabric on her end letting you know she’s just as affected as you are. “I’d do anything to have you under me right now. To feel how tight you’d squeeze me when I’m deep inside you.” Her hand finally snakes its way inside her boxers, her calloused finger soothing her aching red tip. Palm wrapped around the top, squeezing it in imitation of your tight walls.

"That's all I can think about, Bada," soft, needy whimpers leave your throat, "Having my legs on your shoulders as you break me off. Hitting that one spot deep inside me that always gets me creaming on your cock." Flashbacks of Bada's large hands holding you down, fucking into you as she forces you to watch, that frothy white ring around the base of her dick forming as juice splatters from her impact.

"Yeah, princess?" Bada groans, her voice dipping even lower, roughened by her own need. "You always know how to rile me up, don’t you? Keep talking, tell me exactly how you'd want me to fuck you."

You bite your lip, the weight of his words sending a fresh wave of heat through your core. "I’d want it slow at first," your fingers circle your clit agonizingly slowly. Almost torturous like Bada does. "You’d tease me," you murmur, your voice catching as your fingers dip lower. "Make me beg for it, wouldn’t you? Make me tell you how much I need it, need you."

"Fuck," Bada growls, her breathing heavy in your ear. Her hand strokes herself in sync with your words, her rough palm sliding over her length as she imagines you beneath her, squirming, needy, desperate. "I’d make you wait, baby. You know I love hearing you beg for me, hearing that pretty little voice say my name."

A shaky whimper escapes your lips, the sound almost too loud in the stillness of your living room. "I’d be so wet for you," you whisper, voice trembling as your fingers circle faster, dipping between your folds to gather more of your slickness. "You wouldn’t even have to ask, Bada. I’d be ready for you the second you touched me."

"Shit," she groans, gripping herself tighter as she pictures it. "You’d be dripping down your thighs, wouldn’t you? Making a fucking mess of yourself while you wait for me to fill you up."

"Yes," you gasp, your back arching against the couch as your body reacts to her words. Your free hand clutches at the fabric of her shirt, grounding yourself in her scent, her voice, the memory of her touch when you guys fucked inside her cell . "I need you so bad, Bada. I need to feel you stretching me out, filling me up until I can't take it anymore."

"Dip those pretty little fingers of yours inside your pussy, princess. Imagine it's me curling them and hitting that soft spot in ya," she grunts, trying to imagine the feeling of your tiny hole enveloping her long fingers.

You let out a soft moan, obeying her request, slipping two fingers into your warmth. The wet sound fills the quiet of the room, mixing with her heavy breathing on the line.

“I... I’m doing it, Bada,” you manage between hitched breaths. “It’s not the same... I can’t stretch myself like you do.”

“Fucking hell,” she growls, her hand pumping faster now, imagining the way your body clings to her when she’s buried inside you. “Tell me how it feels, princess. I need to hear everything.”

Your cheeks flush, the embarrassment drowned out by the heat curling in your belly. “It feels... good, but not enough. I can’t reach as deep as you, baby. I need you here. I need your fingers, your cock... all of you.”

“Shit, keep talking like that, and I’m gonna cum before you do,” she groans, her voice thick with frustration and longing. Her strokes become erratic, the image of you—the sounds you're making—driving her closer to the edge. “I’d have you spread out under me right now, pretty legs shaking while I fuck you open. You’d take me so well, wouldn’t you?”

“Uh huh~,” you whimper, arching into your touch, fingers moving faster as you imagine her over you, her shoulders, the weight of her body pressing you down. “I’d take you so good... like I always do. I’d make such a mess for you.”

“You’d be dripping all over my cock, wouldn’t you? So tight, so perfect for me,” she rasps, her voice hitching slightly as her own hand works faster. You can hear the faint rustle of fabric, the wet sound of her strokes, and it sends a thrill through you, knowing she’s as close to the edge as you are.

“Bada, I’m so close,” you whine, your voice trembling with the mounting pleasure.

“Good girl,” she groans, her tone commanding but filled with adoration. “Let it go, princess. Cum for me. I wanna hear those pretty sounds when you fall apart for me.”

Her words push you over the edge, a broken cry escaping your lips as your body tenses and then releases, waves of pleasure crashing through you. Bada’s name spills from your mouth in a litany, each moan sweeter than the last.

“Fuck,” she moans, her voice a low growl as she follows you over the edge, her own release ripping through her. You can hear her breaths, heavy and uneven, as she murmurs your name like a prayer.

For a moment, the two of you are silent, the only sounds the soft hum of the line and your shared breaths as you come down from the high.

“I needed that,” Bada finally mutters, her voice lighter now, the teasing edge creeping back in. "Been so pent up, jerking off to those pretty pictures you mail me like I'm a horny teenager."

You laugh softly, trying to imagine a sexually frustrated Bada hunched over your selfies trying to get himself off. “You’re insatiable, Bada.”

“For you? Always,” she replies, the warmth in her voice making your chest tighten with affection. "I miss being able to bend you over and fuck you wherever and whenever I want."

"Mmmm, I miss that too, baby," you hum, walking to the sink to wash your arousal-stained fingers. "Miss having my woman with me all the time. Gets so lonely without my lover."

"I fucking love you, you know that?" Bada murmurs after a beat, her voice softer now, filled with an almost childlike sincerity.

A smile tugs at your lips, your heart swelling at her words. "I love you too, Bada," you reply, your voice tender.

The automated voice interrupts the moment, announcing that the call will end in one minute. Your chest tightens at the reminder, and you clutch the phone, wishing you could hold onto him just a little longer.

“You better be ready for me when I get out,” she says, her tone turning serious, almost possessive. “I’m not wasting a single second. The first thing I’m doing is coming straight to you, and you’re not leaving my bed for days.”

"I'll be counting down the days, baby," a honeyed mewl leaves your lips, feeling light and airy still from your orgasm. "Until then... Behave yourself, Bada Lee."

She chuckles, the sound low and rich, and you can practically hear the grin in her voice. "No promises, princess," she teases. "But I’ll try. For you. Now before it hangs up, kiss me through the phone, baby."

Your heart squeezes at her request, the playful yet sincere edge in her voice making your chest ache with longing. Pressing the phone closer to your lips, you whisper, "Mwah," letting it carry all the tenderness you can muster.

A low hum of approval comes through the line. "Mmm, that’s what I like to hear," she drawls, her voice dripping with satisfaction. "I’ll be dreaming about that one, princess."

The automated voice chimes in again, colder this time, signaling the end of the call in mere seconds. "I love you," you blurt out, the words rushing out like a lifeline.

"I love you more," she says firmly, the weight of his promise grounding you. "Be good for me, princess. I’ll be home before you know it."

The line clicks dead before you can respond, the abrupt silence leaving an ache in its wake. You lower the phone slowly, staring at the screen as if willing it to light up again with her name. Her words replay in your head. You could hold it down for her, she'll be home before you know it.

[wanderingmind867]

My ideas for a season six of Batman 1966. You can tell this is probably where i'm gonna end all of this, because I was getting so tired that I started just poaching ideas from old 40s and 50s comics. Turns out thinking of Three or Four seasons worth of stuff (all 60-70 episodes long) is incredibly exhausting. So here. I hope it's okay. I'm not rewriting this one again. I'm so exhausted, I'm gonna go take a break to use my switch:

Season 6: Season Six is almost all about Batman on his own. Robin and Batgirl make appearances as supporting leads every couple episodes, but Batman is now the leading star. I'd have Aunt Harriet be made more of a minor character too, and I'd replace her with Leslie Thompkins. We'd still see Aunt Harriet, obviously! She's too good to abandon fully! It's just… we'll see her less, since Dick is at College (thus eliminating the need for her to live at Wayne Manor).

Episodes 1 and 2: An adaptation of a story from Batman #32, except this episode features The Riddler in the place of The Joker. Either way, I'm getting really tired of writing all this stuff constantly. So here's a copy and pasted paragraph about the story (with joker's name merely replaced with riddler's):

The Riddler captures Batman with help from his henchmen and they take the vigilante to their secret hideout. The Riddler's latest inspiration has come from watching college students forced to endure humiliating initiation stunts. Riddler then contacts Robin and forces him to perform embarrassing but apparently harmless feats in order to keep Batman alive. However, Riddler is using Robin for his criminal activities and when the Boy Wonder realizes the truth, he prepares a trap for the Riddler.

Episodes 3 and 4: Batman deals with The Archer, an old villian who tried to act like a modern day Robin Hood. Now he's gotten even more blatant with his thefts, and he tries to rob Wayne Manor of all it's valuables (since he learned the Manor had less occupants since Dick Grayson and his Aunt left). Batman still manages to stop him, but The Archer really puts up a strong challenge.

Also, the Archer had to find new sidekicks. So meet Scarlet, Doncaster and Lady Clorinda. Those are all real names of characters from the Robin Hood stories. I just looked it up. But after this story, we probably won't see the archer for a while. I don't know how many more times I can work with his Robin Hood motif, so we'll probably reserve him for appearances in team-ups with other villians.

Episode 5: Shortly after dealing with The Riddler and The Archer, Batman ends up running into Man Bat for the very first time. It's very much a one for one retelling of Man Bat's first comic story, including the fact that Man Bat escapes Batman's clutches at the very last moment.

Episode 6: Harley Quinn is tired of being a mere sidekick, so she strikes out on her own! This episode was probably more fitting to air back during season five, but I never found a good place for it. But this is as good a place as any. And now that Harley Quinn is beginning to distance her crime career from that of The Joker, it means I now get two clownish adversaries to mess around with! If we're getting tired of the constant Cesar Romero appearances, a Harley Quinn modelled after Goldie Hawn now has all our needs covered.

Episodes 7 and 8: The first apperance of The Penguin this season; we get a plot based around an issue of the comics this time. Specifically, based off of Batman #190. The Penguin begins commiting crimes using the methods of the future, since he wishes to be ahead of the trend and above the curve. Since i'm honestly beginning to run out of ideas for these seasons, I think i may just start adapting some comic storylines whenever i feel no inspiration. The TV show did this too, so I see no reason why I can't do it.

Episodes 9 and 10: Two-Face breaks out of jail, and begins defacing public monuments to make them reflect the jekyll and hyde nature of his soul. With his new scheme, he successfully manages to ruin the reputations of many good men and women in gotham. He defaces statues, people, everything he can get his hands on. And although this is a bit of a change from his usual M.O., Batman still inevitably manages to solve the case and get Two-Face back behind bars.

Episode 11: Batman encounters Man Bat again, and this time finally managed to subdue him. But is this really the end of the Man Bat story? Not quite, as there's one more part. But we won't get to see that part until after one more story, sad to say.

Episodes 12 and 13: The Joker breaks out of prison to perplex Batman with crimes based around sound effects and cinema. The Joker manages to convince a film crew to help him film a new comedy, all about his attempts to triumph over Batman. But nobody expects that his "film" is actually all but a ruse; a simple snare to lead Batman right into the palms of his hands.

Episodes 14 and 15: Professor William McElroy has been released from jail on good behaviour charges. He comes to Hudson University to lead a lecture on mythology, but he accidentally falls off the stage and reverts back to his King Tut persona again. And as King Tut, he finally manages to achieve his greatest desire: he steals an experimental mind control beam from the schools science labs, and he manages to convince everyone on campus that they're all in the time of Ancient Egypt.

News of the strange case reaches Gotham after a few days, and Bruce quickly realises that Dick must've been hypnotized by that beam too. So now Batman has to head to Hudson University, to dethrone King Tut and his egyptian empire before he has a chance to spread it's influence across the globe.

Episode 16: The conclusion to the long Man Bat saga, wherein Batman has to cure both Kirk Langstrom and his wife Francine of their Bat transformations and mental afflictions. By crashing their wedding, Batman successfully manages to get to them in time to save them from themselves.

Episodes 17 and 18: Catwoman pines for fame and attention, so she begins framing Batman for crimes. While Batman becomes a wanted crook, she becomes a lavish celebrity amongst the lights of gotham high society. Inevitably, though, Catwoman ends up giving herself away. Namely, she can't help but enjoy the thrill of theft. So when she sees a rare cat stature owned by one of her high society acquaintances, she snaps and steals it.

But Batman had planted a tracker on that statue, so it was all a big ambush! Him and Catwoman get into a fight, and Batman successfully manages to clear his reputation (while Catwoman gets sent back to the penitentiary). What I would do in this episode, though: Catwoman (as played by Julie Newmar) ends up flirting with Bruce Wayne while she's a high profile celebrity. The two of them have some sort of romance going (the same way Catwoman and Batman did in the movie), but Catwoman still ruins her chances by trying to frame and kill Batman. If these two are ever going to work together, it's not going to be anytime soon.

Episodes 19, 20 and 21: The three Mister Freezes got into a heated dispute when we last saw them, so they now have all been forced into using different names. Mister Freeze is George Sanders, Mister Zero is Otto Preminger and Mister Chill is Eli Wallach. But they all still want to keep the name of Mister Freeze.

They're now competing to see which one of them can truly dominate Gotham, to prove that there can only be one master of ice in this town! Batman ends up having to foil three seperate schemes from there seperate Mister Freezes, all because these criminals are being petty and trying to one up each other.

Episodes 22 and 23: Egghead is back to menace Batman! He's annoyed and deeply upset that the League of Assasins snubbed him for membership, so he's decided to finally dig his way into the Batcave, to prove his intellectual superiority over all the other supercrooks. He does actually manage to break into the Batcave, and he turns all of Batman's gadgets against him.

Batman manages to stop him before he can do too much damage, but he still ruins the set-up Batman had going. Which means that Batman needs to temporarily move all his stuff to a secondary location while the old one gets rebuilt.

Episodes 24 and 25: Batman goes to Hudson University to check on Robin while the Batcave is being fixed up, only to then discover a startling new crime taking place right under dick's nose. The new English teacher at Hudson University is really The Bookworm in disguise, hiding out at Hudson University to try and raid their prestigious libraries of all their beautiful books. He's gotten away with his ruse remarkably well, probably because he's earned a reputation as a good teacher.

But despite any good the man may have done as a teacher, Batman and Robin still need to stop his crime before he successfully carries it out! And before anyone asks about Bookworm's henchmen: they've all been masquerading as his teaching aides or as janitors or librarians or something.

Episodes 26 and 27: Batgirl comes to Hudson University as a Congresswoman to give a speech, and she winds up helping Batman and Robin deal with a new crime spree by Harley Quinn. She's set up a roller disco close to the university campus, and she's robbing the college kids of all they're worth. This episode set would wind up very much a tribute to the 70s era disco movement, as Harley Quinn and her mad discotheque have to get taken down by our terrific trio, who've been reunited once more!

Episodes 28 and 29: Batman, Robin and Batgirl are still at Hudson University, but Batgirl is admitting that she needs to get back to DC soon. And speaking of, Batman's heard tell that the Batcave is nearly all done with the remodel. But before the three of them can part ways once more, a new scheme begins to hatch in the university town. A rare north american bird statue has been robbed from right under our heroes feet, and we learn that it was The Penguin who stole it!

But it isn't just The Penguin who's involved in this mess. Oh, no. Catwoman (Eartha Kitt) is also involved. She apparently stole the statue first, but Penguin double crossed her. So now she's stalking him through the city, which means Batman, Robin and Batgirl have a real crime conundrum on their hands. Can they stop The Penguin and Catwoman in time? Or will their in-fighting tear the town apart?

Episodes 30 and 31: Batman and Robin end up stumbling upon a plot by Cluemaster to hijack the airwaves in Gotham and restart his old game show. Batman and Robin have to stop him, because he's going mad with a desire for attention and adulation.

Batman and Robin successfully manage to crash Cluemaster's show, and they send him back to jail. But in a joking scene at the finale of the episode, we see that the news is reporting on Cluemaster's crime by saying he ripped off a scheme of the Riddler's, some years prior. And that just inflames the tension between these two rogues once again.

Episodes 32 and 33: Joker and Riddler team up to issue a series of jokes and riddles to the people of Gotham City. You see, these two have realized that they're quite similar in their themes. So by pooling their knowledge, they hope to finally defeat Batman once and for all! Do their plans actually come to fruition? Definitely not, but I'm willing to bet that they come really close to victory.

Episode 34: Batman and Man-Bat end up teaming up to defeat the Getaway Genius (played by Bernie Kopell) and The Penguin (who've teamed up since last we saw them). Only through their combined skills do Batman and Man-Bat manage to bring this pair of crooks to justice.

Episodes 35 and 36: Batman gets into a really dramatic adventure this time around, as he has to help save Leslie Thompkins, a doctor he knew as a kid (operating out of Crime Alley). Turns out that a mobster named Lew Moxon is trying to kill her, to silence her the way he silenced Thomas Wayne years ago. Turns out that Joe Chill was a mere puppet of Lew Moxon, and Moxon had him killed in jail to silence him.

But Leslie Thompkins has poked her nose where it doesn't belong, and now her head is on the chopping block. So Batman has to save her, and finally confront the bitter shadows of his past. Finally, he has a chance to get revenge for his parents murder. But will he take it? Also involved with this story: Batman learns that Mr. Freeze III (Eli Wallach) was the father of Joe Chill, the petty thug who killed his parents. Mister Freeze abandoned his family when his wife was pregnant, but his name is Elias Chilton.

Episode 37: Sort of loosely tied to the previous episode (but still it's own independent thing), Batman has to try and get answers out of Mr. Freeze III (Eli Wallach) regarding his ties to the deaths of the Waynes. But Elias Chilton isn't talking. And the more Batman tries to press him for answers, the more we begin to sense a strange underbelly to Gotham Society. Lew Moxon was tied up in some kind of "Court", and Joe Chill was one of his "pawns". Elias Chilton may have been a negligent father, but he knows something's odd here. So him and batman come to an unlikely truce; both agreeing to investigate this issue on their own ends.

Episodes 38 and 39: On Christmas Eve, Gotham is menaced by yet another old menace from the past: The Calendar Man! Nobody has seen hide nor hair of him for years (mostly because he went straight years ago), but apparently being all alone and homeless on christmas made him snap and decide to commit a mad christmas and new year's themed crime wave. So Batman and Robin have to stop him, and convince him that people do care for him, and he doesn't have to go back to crime again.

Episodes 40 and 41: Christmas may be over, but apparently The Riddler didn't get the memo. He's leading a crime spree yet again, and this time it's all tied in to the themes of Christmas and New Year's. We learn that Bookworm, Riddler and Scarecrow are apparently coordinating all their plans, because Bookworm and Scarecrow are busy messing with Batgirl and Jason Bard somewhere else in town (Batgirl and Jason Bard got a Christmas break, so they came down from DC to visit Batman and Robin). That story won't be told until the next two parter, though. For now, it's all about Batman and Robin trying to beat The Riddler.

Episodes 42 and 43: Batgirl and Jason Bard have to stop Bookworm and Scarecrow from ruining New Year's Eve for everyone in Gotham. Batman and Robin have to deal with The Riddler's mad diabolical schemes; but Batgirl and Jason have to deal with Bookworm and Scarecrow. Both groups definitely have their work cut out for them.

Episodes 44 and 45: With Christmas over, Robin has recovered and left to go back to university. Now that Batman is all alone, he has to face a threat that's endemic of the new decade to come: the Black Spider. Eric Needham is a violent vigilante torturing drug dealers for what they've done to the slums and ghettos of gotham. He says Batman inspired him to go after criminals, but Batman is disgusted by the actions of this mad vigilante. So he tracks him down, and stops him before he can take the step from brutalization into murder.

It takes Batman a while to defeat the Black Spider, but when Batman does…he can't bring himself to hate the kid. He just wanted to bring better conditions to the slums of gotham, although his methods were excessive and cruel. Still, the wayne foundation pays to help eric needham get the mental help he desperately needs. Because batman isn't cruel enough to leave this kid all alone in the cold.

Episodes 46 and 47: Batman has to deal with The Joker, who's returned to bedevil Batman once more. This time, his scheme involves commiting a series of upside down crimes. This is an adaptation of a story from Batman #23, and it involves a batplane sequence (which would definitely be fun to see on screen).

Episodes 48 and 49: Now that Batman's finished dealing with Black Spider, he learns that the Black Spider was actually the pawn in another criminal's foul scheme: the Black Widow, to be more precise. Either still modelled/played by Tallulah Bankhead, or modelled after/played by Eleanor Audley (replacing a dead Tallulah Bankhead), I'm not quite sure. But I am sure that the Black Widow is back in Gotham, and this time her scheme has become even more intense than before.

She's got an army of giant mechanical spiders, and she's using them to rob gotham, hold places for ransom via web, and otherwise generally make a menace of herself. For a criminal mind this cunning, batman's skills are required. But who knows if even the caped crusader can defeat a foe as cruel and calculating as this one?

Episodes 50 and 51: Batman has to investigate a series of arsons in Gotham. Along the way, he keeps running into a strange new crook known as Firefly, a master of heat and flame. Batman isn't sure just what connection Firefly has to all these arson attacks on Gotham, but he knows there's some connection. So in this somewhat more dramatic tale of industrial espionage, we get to see Batman deal with a arsonist for hire.

But I would also keep some of the silver age firefly stuff, and i'd have his flames have different effects based on their colours. I want a colour themed villian, and i'm going to make firefly that colour themed villian, whether it's accurate or not. So yeah, we're using arson and themed rainbow effects for this story.

Episodes 52 and 53: Batman meets the Ragdoll (as played by Ray Bolger). I don't think a live action story with ragdoll could get into all the contortionism stuff, but I think it's still worth having him here. He very much feels like a character who works in a Batman '66 setting.

Episodes 54 and 55: Mister Freeze returns to Gotham and Batman has to stop him. Along the way, he meets a lady named Venus (played by Eva Gabor), who Mister Freeze has kidnapped, claiming she bears a startling resemblance to an ex-wife of his (an in-joke about George Sanders and Zsa Zsa Gabor once being married). But Venus and Batman end up teaming up, and their combined wits lead them to escape from the deadly traps of Mister Freeze's lair.

Episodes 56 and 57: Batman encounters Minerva, the criminal who ran a hypnosis based mineral spa, has been released from jail on good behaviour. But her plans for Gotham are anything but good. In jail, she used her spa to learn the secrets of all of gotham's major weaknesses. She now knows all the ways batman has defeated the different criminals in gotham, and she plans to use that knowledge to her advantage and finally have her revenge on Batman…

But thankfully, her plans all backfire. Mostly because of Venus, from the previous set of episodes. Minerva and Venus are actually sisters, and Venus vows to stop her sister at all costs. When Minerva captures Batman at the end of part one, Venus summons Robin and Batgirl to save the day!

Episodes 58 and 59: A new villian arrives in Gotham, going by the name of The Spook (which I still think sounds like some sort of ethnic slur, but which was actually a real 70s Batman villian). Claiming to be the ghost of dead prisoner Val Kaliban, the spook's powers of disappearence stump even Batman. But with the aid of The Scarecrow (possibly the only other person who could successfully combat this motif of fear), Batman successfully manages to capture and unmask Kaliban. Turns out he was never a real ghost; he was just a master escape artist who faked his own death.

Episodes 60 and 61: The beginning of the show's adaptation of Steve Englehart's comics storyline. Doctor Phosphorous and Silver St. Cloud both debut in this episode set. Although Doctor Phosphorus isn't seen again after this set of episodes, Silver St. Cloud remains relevant to the remaining few episodes in the season…

Episodes 62 and 63: An adaptation of the next part of Steve Englehart's Batman saga, starring Hugo Strange. I can't actually recap all of this saga, but we're covering the events detailed in Detective Comics #471-472, and that's about it.

Episodes 64 and 65: An adaptation of the story in Detective Comics #473 now, which allows us to see Batman and Robin working together to stop The Penguin, who's prepared yet another mad caper. And with Rupert Thorne using his influence to undermine Commissioner Gordon and Batman's affairs in Gotham, it's now unclear just what Batman and Robin can do to protect the city.

Episodes 66 and 67: For the next several episodes, there'll be a break from Steve Englehart's saga, because I plan to end the season by focusing on that. In any case, this two parter involves King Tut trying to summon an ancient mummy back from the dead, using ancient egyptian rights and rituals. His plans actually seem to work, but we learn that another criminal group is playing him for a dummy. They were using an automaton of a mummy, and they fooled him into thinking it was real.

If you're wondering about which criminal group, I can't really say. I haven't decided yet myself, so that's going to be left unclear. But it's probably either the League of Assasins or the Court of Owls. One of those groups makes the most sense to me.

Episodes 68 and 69: The Riddler starts a new crime wave, once again with the aid of The Bookworm. These two are now delivering riddles in all sorts of ways, from poems to different book titles to even having their henchmen mime out crimes without actually commiting them. Batman and Robin are left deep in the lurch by these two, and a real game of wits begins once more.

Episodes 70 and 71: An adaptation of a story in Batman #45. Again, I am beginning to really tire of writing these notes. So here's a copy and pasted description of the story from off of the DC wiki:

A famous author has recently published a book about the most evil women in history and a Hollywood studio has bought the rights to make a movie based on the book. At the same time, Catwoman escapes from prison. And when she learns that she wasn't included in the book, she decides to sabotage the film and steal from the crew and the studio. Catwoman's criminal spree is successful until she is captured and arrested by Batman and Robin.

Episodes 72 and 73: Batgirl and Jason Bard get involved in this one, as Shame and Calamity Jan crash Washington, DC. They're getting married again, and they've chosen to capture the US capital, so they can use it as their shotgun wedding Chapel. This news shakes the US to it's very core, so Batman, Robin, Batgirl and Jason Bard end up having to play the role of wedding crashers, stopping this outlaw posse from damaging the fair people of washington with their gunfights and rodeo matches.

Episodes 74 and 75: An adaptation of Detective Comics #474. It's Batman '66's introduction to Deadshot, who's still played pretty seriously (albeit not too, too violently). A skilled crook and sharpshooter, deadshot's broken out of jail to get revenge on Batman for their past encounter many years prior.

The death trap at the halfway mark for this episode might actually include a literal firing squad, since deadshot's whole motif is guns and bullets and things like that. So you know…it might end up being one of the show's more dramatic episodes.

Episodes 76 and 77: An adaptation of The Joker storyline from Detective Comics #475-476. This would be the season finale, and it would help to both resolve all the storylines of the past few issues; and yet also to set up the movie that's being built up to lead into Season Seven and help introduce Jason Todd. So a lot of important stuff happens in this episode set.

[consolecadet]

Tips for freshly diagnosed celiac-havers

Someone I knew asked me for advice after getting diagnosed with celiac. I gave her some. I might as well share them with you as well!

I am not a doctor, and not your doctor, I'm just some guy with celiac disease. Ask an actual doctor for help with medical decisions. I'm in the northeastern United States, so you might have to go hunting for equivalent resources if you live elsewhere.

Are you done with testing?

If you had a tTG-IgA blood test with an elevated result, or a doctor just told you you have celiac, but you have not gotten a biopsy via endoscopy to confirm your diagnosis, WAIT! You may not want to stop eating gluten quite yet. You have to be eating gluten for the biopsy test to work.

It is not fun to stop eating gluten, start feeling better, and then have to start eating it again just to prove that you really have celiac disease.

Your choice in this area is personal. If you know you're going to have to wait years to get an endoscopy, it would probably be healthier and more pleasant to stop eating gluten now and then do a "gluten challenge" for a few weeks before your endoscopy.

If it's unlikely you will ever get an endoscopy (too expensive, inaccessible, phobia, etc), there's no point in waiting for something that may never come -- just stop eating gluten now.

But if you can schedule an endoscopy for a month or two from now, it's probably best to keep eating gluten until the endoscopy. Sorry.

Please eat food. Like, enough food.

The most important tip I got early in my diagnosis is that if you stop eating gluten and you start feeling crummy -- dizzy, cranky, tired, etc -- it's not because you're going through "gluten detox" or some shit. It's because you're hungry!

It's easy to accidentally start eating way less when you start eating gluten free. A celiac diagnosis can make you want to avoid eating because food feels scary and stressful. Cutting a major ingredient from your diet without knowing what to replace it with can also leave you undernourished.

You really need nourishment when you are recovering from celiac! Your body need energy from food to use on healing your intestines. If you've lived with celiac for a long time, you probably have vitamin deficiencies you're trying to bounce back from. The emotional difficulty of adjusting to a new diagnosis is also much easier to face if you're not starving.

All of this advice applies equally regardless of body size. Yes, even if you are very fat. If you're hungry, eat.

Where to find information about gluten-free food

The gold standard for basic celiac info is celiac nonprofits. There's a ton of info about celiac disease and the gluten free diet on their websites. I recommend:

Celiac Disease Foundation

Beyond Celiac

You know what's not a legitimate celiac nonprofit? Gluten Free Society. Do not listen to anything GFS or its founder Peter Osborne have to say. Osborne is not an actual doctor, nor is he doing actual nutrition science. He is a chiropractor (i.e. quack) so bad that his state's board of chiropractors threatened to revoke his license. Don't let anyone tell you celiac means you can't have corn!!! Truly, wtf @ this guy.

Google's AI summaries for searches like "Is XYZ food gluten free" are often inaccurate (because they pick up sites like GFS). I always click through to the source to be sure. "Is XYZ food celiac safe" sometimes gives more useful search results.

I also like this presentation "I Have Celiac" for a super in-depth guide to having and living with celiac. The OP made it to show to loved ones to explain their deal, but it's so thorough that I found it helpful for myself when I got my diagnosis.

I want to buy food that's safe for celiac...how do I do that?

You should be able to find gf food at any supermarket. The selection of baked goods and processed foods may be lacking, depending on where you live, but produce, raw unmarinated cuts of meat, and other whole foods like milk and eggs are generally safe even if not labeled gf.

A lot of supermarkets have an indicator on the price labels to help you -- for example, at Stop and Shop, the labels on the shelf have an orange circle that says "gf" in it under foods that are gluten free. It's best to check the packaging too, since Stop and Shop sometimes gets it wrong!

Something that says "gluten free" or "certified gluten free" on it is safe for celiac*. Something that doesn't say "gluten free" on the packaging may also be safe, so long as it also doesn't contain wheat, barley, or rye, or have a wheat allergy warning under the ingredient list. Here are some tips for what to look for on ingredient labels.

Labels can get real complicated real fast, so just use your best judgment. It's okay if you don't get it right 100% of the time. The goal when living with celiac is to reduce gluten exposure as much as possible, not to hermetically seal yourself in a deep well where a single molecule of gluten can never possibly reach your tongue. You, and only you, get to decide how much exposure risk you're comfortable with.

My favorite grocery store post-diagnosis is Wegmans. My nearest one is a bit of a hike, so I don't go that often, but it's such a treat when I do. Wegmans has a huge gluten free aisle with gf staples and fun snacks, plus lots of food items that can be harder to find gf, like fresh pasta and baked goods.

I also like the online health food store iHerb for finding new gf snacks and ingredients. You can filter the whole store by dietary needs, so you can also find gf skincare/makeup items and supplements if you want. I have a discount link for 20% off: https://secure.iherb.com/rewards/rewards-program?rcode=DRO2876

The best way to find restaurants that can accommodate celiac is Find Me Gluten Free. It's essentially a gluten-free Yelp. People use the site/app to review of restaurants for 1) what cross-contact precautions the restaurant takes and 2) crucially, if the food was good!

Gf food can be expensive, ngl. The National Celiac Association has advice for how to save money on gf food, including a database of food pantries that set aside gf food for people who need it.

GF ~influencers~

If you want to follow some people who Get It, I like:

Phil Hates Gluten (on IG, TT, and YT) has EoE (another gluten-related autoimmune condition). He reviews gf food and restaurants and makes silly videos about the gf experience.

Robyn's Gluten-free Living on YouTube has gf baking videos and advice about traveling, eating at restaurants, saving money on gf food, and more.

Here on Tumblr, @gluttonysansgluten and @certifiedceliac (and I would love more recommendations for celiac related Tumblr accounts!)

Having celiac is really hard. But it does get easier.

I felt overwhelmed and honestly kind of doomed when I got my celiac diagnosis. For the first few months I felt like I couldn't trust any food and I was going to be totally excluded at all social events forever. It sucked. But then I got a lot of practice figuring out which foods were safe for me, advocating for myself at restaurants and when my friends were planning get-togethers involving food, and now things are really not that bad. And I feel way, way less sick.

If you feel overwhelmed or don't know how to interpret the 1 million sources online telling you what's gluten free, I really recommend seeing a dietician. Your best bet is a weight-neutral or HAES dietician who mentions celiac somewhere on their website or online profile. You can generally count on those folks to give you practical information about how to live with celiac, as well as emotional support as you adjust to what is probably a pretty big and stressful change in your life and how you view yourself!

You got this!

*Please do not talk about Cheerios on my post. Make your own.

[nyasha-muganiwa]

<♡♡●♡♡>

i fall in love easily. be it your pretty bright eyes or your dark mysterious character, i find myself being drawn to you every single time. you mostly seem to hate me at our first encounter. whether i accidentally bumped into you or spilled coffee all over your shirt, we always seem to lock eyes even if it's for a second too long. yes it's our first time meeting but deep down the connection screams fate, like we've met multiple times before. something deep down tells me we've been in the same place at the same time more than once. but we don't know that right now. we're focused on each other's eyes. the next few meetings are what some call coincidences. we so happen to be in the same friend group, someone you know knows someone i know. or the same workspace, you so happen to be my boss, and right then and there we're sure the universe has something to do with this. then we strangely get to know each other's habits, like how i saved you one time since you're still dealing with the trauma, or how you found out i'm claustrophobic and calmed me down in the elevator when i was panicking and literally about to die. our lives are woven into each other, like how our hands tend to touch sometimes. the spark causes us to stare deeply at each other, deep down we know there's something, but we always need that extra push. your ex-girlfriend maybe, or how your best friend spends way too much time with me. then of course you get drunk or, into fights, but you always find your way home to me. and just like that i'm yours and you're mine. but your parents don't approve of course, you're meant to be with someone else. the waves and wind crash against each other and the storms become unbearable. we take a little break but we both know we can't live without each other, so you pull out the l-card and all of a sudden we're conquering the world. love wins all. would it be too much if i got into an accident, lost my memory maybe. but the end of the story is you and me loving each other, holding on to the memories we have, and cherishing those to come. look at me and understand....i spend too much time imagining what it would be like if you existed.