#but i'm kind of happy someone did it early i've thought a lot about what we could watch after

[carmelasopranono1defenseattorney]

ok i was like "i'm gonna type out a few choices that could be fun" but i am not capable of being normal about tv shows my obsession is. unhinged. so i ended up typing out an essay. anyway i have sooo many thoughts about what could make a good followup to the sopranos and my ideas are under here but i shoved them under a read more because it was getting out of hand. anyway i'm kind of curious if any of these speak to anyone or if anyone would want them added in a future poll

other shows that i think could make really good choices: Twin Peaks The Twilight Zone (if we want to go wild and go to the ROOT roots of television although i think this might have wayyy too many episodes) Bojack Horseman (kind of fun because it was always a binge release so i don't think very many people have watched this "weekly") Lost The Americans The Shield Buffy the Vampire Slayer (kind of a weird one because Joss Whedon is awful, it's super influential and other people who aren't joss whedon worked on it and deserve credit but I definitely understand people not wanting to touch this) Fleabag (this could be fun cause it's so short, it'd be like a mini appetizer between binges) Battlestar Galactica The Good Place (if we want to take a swerve into pure comedy lol, i thought of other comedy series but they're all ridiculously long. on the other hand i feel like 90% of people on tumblr have already seen this) Atlanta The Leftovers Friday Night Lights (I don't actually know much about this show and I really don't like sports but it's the one big blindspot in my prestige/critically acclaimed tv show watchlist. i think this might have 20 episode seasons though so that might not be a good fit) Six Feet Under (kind of feels like this got overshadowed in the 00s prestige deathmatch between The Wire and The Sopranos but i loveddd this show, I want to say it's my favourite show ever but i haven't watched it since i had the dvd boxset in like 2010 so i'm like. worried that maybe it's not as good) Deadwood Halt and Catch Fire (show about women inventing computers in the 70s/80s, I love love love this show it was consistently like in the top 5-10 range on year end lists in the later half of the 10s and it was kind of underwatched. I remember season 1 not being great and it does feel like a bit of a shallow mad men clone but season 2 takes a hard shift to the women being the main characters and it's soooo good) an anime...... (HEAR ME OUTTT i'm actually not a huge anime person but there are some anime that have a similar like, flawed protagonist thing like the sopranos where you have to really think about what's literally being shown vs what the themes are, what the intended message is which i love. if we were to do this my suggestions would be either revolutionary girl utena or neon genesis evangelion) Hannibal (another one that tumblr already knows really well but like. hey if we're discussing black sails, succession, breaking bad, why not) The Larry Sanders Show (disclaimer i don't actually know very much about this show. it's a parody of late night talk shows, like we see a real filmed late night talk show but it's all scripted, i feel like it was probably influential on stuff like Veep, like the principal is that Larry seems very polite but the backstage of the show is very vulgar and they're all mean to each other. this appears on so many best of the 90s shows lists and it seems like it was HBO's first big hit, i'm really curious about it) Oz (another show that i don't know a ton about, this is kind of like, beta sopranos, hbo's prestige drama that did well but wasn't the smash hit that sopranos was. I feel like some of the other hbo shows (Six Feet Under, The Wire, Deadwood) would be better picks but idk maybe someone is a really big fan of the show and can sell people on it. it's about life in a maximum security men's prison) Pose (prestige drama about the gay ball scene in New York in the 80s. I've only seen the first two seasons but I really liked them) Girls

Just for fun nonbinding poll:

Just because we're a little over halfway and I keep thinking about 'West Wing might be fun' and 'Breaking Bad might be a good choice'

Also i know there's other golden age of TV shows that I left off deliberately due to quality decline in the last season(s) or because they're anthologies, you can guess what they are

[barcaatthemoon]

just a kid iii || jenni hermoso x teen!reader ||

jenni finally meets your girlfriend, but it doesn't go according to plan.

part i part ii

"chiqui!" alexia flinched at the volume of jenni's voice in the very public place. you jumped up from the table and ran over to jump into the woman's arms. back at the table, alexia shot carmen an apologetic look. your girlfriend had been warned by alexia, olga, and several of your barcelona teammates how you got around jenni. they had failed to mention how much worse it seemed to get after jenni had moved away.

"jenni, i missed you," you told her. jenni smiled as she cupped your cheeks and kissed the top of your head. tucked beneath her arm, you walked with jenni back to the table. "carmen, this is jenni. jenni, this is carmen, my girlfriend."

carmen stood up, standing just a couple of inches taller than jenni. alexia smirked at the look of surprise on jenni's face. she wasn't used to people being taller than her, especially not someone so much younger. it took jenni by surprise, enough so that she didn't mention the very obvious resemblance.

"nice to meet you. i've heard a lot about you," carmen said. she held her hand out for jenni to shake. things seemed to go back to normal once everybody had sat down again. alexia almost wished that jenni had stayed quiet, but she wasn't going to complain when it obviously made you happy to be around the striker again.

carmen seemed to get kind of quiet as jenni took over your attention. alexia tried to engage your girlfriend in conversation a bit more, but it didn't seem to work very well. as much as carmen looked like jenni, she acted just as much like alexia did. according to most of your older teammates, carmen would grow out of being so awkward around people eventually, you just had to be patient.

"hey, i think that i might head home soon. it's getting kind of late," carmen told you. for the first time in what felt like forever to carmen, she had your attention. however, it didn't feel as good as she had hoped it would. you looked hurt, a pout on your face as you prepared to ask her if everything was okay. "have fun, okay?"

"you're leaving now?" you asked. carmen nodded as she stood up from the table. she got money out to pay for her part of the meal, despite alexia's protests that she had it covered. "you're leaving alone?"

"yeah, i'm going to the gym early tomorrow. have a good night." carmen leaned for a moment, and you foolishly thought she was going to give you a kiss. instead, she offered handshakes to alexia, olga, and jenni.

"bye, i love you," you muttered quietly. it really wasn't loud enough for carmen to properly hear, but you were still hurt when she didn't say anything to you. alexia noticed your shift in mood and turned to olga for help, her girlfriend being a better choice of comfort for you.

"do you want to come stay with me for a while?" jenni offered. you shrugged, having hoped to stay with carmen at her new place. it had taken you nearly two weeks to get alexia to agree on letting you spend the night over there, and the one night you get permission, carmen left hastily without you.

…

"am i boring you, chiquita?" jenni asked as she nudged you with her elbow. the two of you had spent the day catching up with each other, but you couldn't tear yourself away from your phone for more than a few minutes. you were going crazy waiting for the good morning text from carmen that didn't seem to be coming. you knew that she was awake, you had seen the posts on her story from the gym.

"no, sorry. it's just that carmen usually checks in with me by now," you told her. jenni frowned as she understood what you were going through. "i'm scared that she's mad at me, but i don't know what i did."

"they say that she looks like me, but that girl is all ale. trust me, it takes time to realize what little things set her off. maybe you should go see her. talk to her, make sure that she knows you love her," jenni suggested. you were nervous about showing up to her place unannounced, but you couldn't just sit back and wait for her to text you anymore.

"who says that you and carmen look alike?" you asked. none of the team had brought this up with you yet, so you were a tad bit confused.

"alexia, olga, eli, pina, jana, mapi, ingrid, and um, everybody else who has met both of us." jenni's tone may have been a bit sarcastic, but she wasn't joking. you scoffed, not believing that at all. sure, carmen was tall with dark hair and a few tattoos, but that was about it. you hadn't put that much thought into her similarities to jenni at all whenever the two of you had started dating. you were just glad that the hot girl in the gym was giving you the time of day.

"whatever," you huffed. jenni teased you a little more as she took you to carmen's apartment. you made jenni drive off, promising to call alexia if things went badly. a part of you was terrified that carmen wouldn't want anything to do with you. if what jenni said was true about everybody believing that they looked alike, you realized that you had probably made carmen jealous. and so, you very nervously made your way up to carmen's apartment.

"(y/n)?" of all the people carmen expected to see as she came out of the stairwell, you were the last one. "what are you doing here?"

"i had to come check on you. it's been three days, and you haven't answered any of my texts or calls. i've been out of my mind worrying about you," you told her. carmen rubbed the back of her neck as she shifted from one foot to the other. she could easily see the evidence of what she put you through as you played with your fingers.

"i, uh, i'm sorry too. it was stupid, but seeing you and jenni interacting, i got kind of jealous. do you want to come with me to dinner?" carmen asked you. you nodded, happily taking her hand as she led you out of her building. you were finally able to enjoy your night as the weight of your worrying was lifted from your shoulders. that night, as you let yourself get comfortable in carmen's bed, you made sure to send both jenni and alexia texts that everything had been sorted out with carmen.

[xtreklx]

Low ~ Raphael x reader

One-shot: bayverse Raphael x reader Word count: 3.7k Warnings: cursing, mature themes, and slight NSFW, so this one is rated 18+ (minors DNI, see my masterlist for disclaimer) A/N: holy Toledo this one's a doozy. I've been working on it for a while, and it's def one of my favorite things I've written so far (at least, for now..). loosely based on the song Low by SZA, and lyrics are included in the text where I see fit. also I added color-coded dialogue for funsies. thank you guys for all the love on my stuff, and I hope you enjoy :)

__________

As a young, blossoming adult, your life so far has been overall steady. It staggers here and there, of course: moving in waves as life often does. But for the most part, it is everlasting mundanity. Your early twenties are supposed to be where it begins to roar; when you obtain the dizzying adrenaline and overwhelming fear of free will. Empty wallets, fleeting romances, broken hearts, anxiety, love, hurt. These emotions are meant to be felt, and life is not lived without them.

So, as life would have it, your steady mundanity was indeed set ablaze in your early twenties, when you fell in love with someone you had originally thought you hated.

Some might call that cliché. But, in actuality, not quite.

You had been friends with the mutant ninja turtles for years, ever since they saved New York City from the infamous Kraang attack of 2016. Your father was a police officer, and you had all met at the post-battle award ceremony and celebration. You and the turtles were 17 at the time, and you saw them repeatedly after that as they continued to work with the NYPD. Over time, you grew to become the friends you were now.

Well, not all of you. From your first encounter with the brawny brother in red, you discovered that he had quite the knack for pushing your buttons. While Leonardo, Michelangelo, and Donatello became some of your closest friends in the world, Raphael did everything he could to block you out. He was argumentative, temperamental, and unpredictable. You two could fight about anything: what kind of toppings to put on pizza, DC vs. Marvel, song or movie choice, even knitting patterns. The two of you were always bickering, always finding some way to make a snide comment or butt heads about something.  You couldn't stand him, and the feeling was very obviously mutual. 

On the topic of heads: flash forward five years later, when it finally came to one. You had been spending a lot more time with your turtle friends after finishing off your online degree program. While you were happy this was the case, the tension between you and Raphael seemed to be growing the more often you were around.

One day, the guys had gone out on their regularly scheduled patrol, with Raph staying behind because of a particularly nasty fight with Leo. You were waiting in the lair for them to return so that you could have your weekly movie night, but you were growing bored, and Master Splinter was nowhere to be found. Thus, you made the difficult decision to go bother Raph as he worked out in the dojo. 

When he saw you approaching his bench, he groaned through a rep, his eyes rolling back into his head. "What do ya want, shortstack?" He grumbled as he continued to bench press his barbell, the veins in his big, green arms flaring with each movement. 

You crossed your arms over your chest and huffed. "Save it, meat head. The more entertaining members of this family are gone, so I'm stuck here with you and nothing else to do. So..." You paused for a moment, watching as a scowl grew on his face while he continued his reps. "Do you want a spot.. or something?"

Raphael let out a breathy laugh as he set the barbell down back onto the stand. "Easy, tiger," He spoke as he sat up on his bench, side-eyeing you. "Even if you could lift this bar, I sure as shit ain't letting ya spot me. You'd purposefully drop it on my head before I could even bat my eyes at ya."

Your arms uncrossed and your hands went to your hips as you took a step closer to the red-masked brute. "Pssh, like I'd ever let you bat your eyes at me. I'd gouge out my own eyeballs before that could happen."

He scoffed up at you as he began to unwrap the bandages on his hands, which had been protecting his calluses from the aggressive texture of the metal bar. "Gee, yer a real charmer, aren't ya?" he questioned sarcastically, slightly under his breath. "Must be why you gotta line of men falling at your feet. Someone's gotta tame the tiger."

The dig at your love life (or rather, lack of one) made your face heat up, and you clenched your fists at your sides, taking another step closer to the brute. After all these years of bickering and insults, you were finally nearing your limit. "God, I try to be civil with you for one single day and you're a total asshole for no reason. What's your damage, Raph?"

Raphael whipped his head to you, the bandages he had just finished unwrapping long forgotten as he tossed them to the floor. He stood up from his bench as he spoke, taking a step towards you. "Ain't that easy. Yer my damage, sweetheart. Always have been, always will be."

"Oh, yeah?" You two stood not even a foot apart, and you were glaring up at him with the most intimidating look you could muster. "And just what exactly is your problem with me?" You could feel your heart rate increasing from the growing tension in the room. The air surrounding you felt like it had been injected with adrenaline, and you felt your temperature rising by the second. "Another easy one," Raph growled, looming over you. "You annoy the shit outta me, and ya never know when to shut yer goddamn mouth."

Your rage was increasing by the second, and by the fumes you felt radiating off of his mutant green form, you could say the same for the turtle in red. You were practically pressed against each other, him with a scowl on his face and you with a fire in your eyes. Your chest puffed up, and the words were out of your mouth before you could have a second thought.

"I bet you'd like to make me, wouldn't ya?"

It was silent after that. After quickly thinking it over, you almost gasped aloud at the implications of your words. The eye contact changed from a heated stare battle to his hazel eyes dominating, searching yours. You had been feeling very confident up until this moment, but that sentence alone caused the confidence to wither away, confusion at yourself taking its place. What the fuck did I just say?

Raphael's snarl had changed into a look of surprise. Confusion. And then back to anger.

With a frustrated grunt, he grabbed your waist and smashed his lips to yours. 

And that was the kerosene to the match that set your young adult life ablaze. 

The kiss was all burning rage, gory passion. It was tongues brushing and teeth clashing and a harsh grip on your waist and an even harsher grip on the tough, scaled skin of his shoulders. It was embers and flames and then the roar of a forest fire.  

You couldn't help the sounds that the kiss drew from deep within your chest. You didn't know how or why, but your soft lips fit oh so perfectly against his rough, scarred ones. Your mouths moved together in a harmonious rhythm despite the chaos, even as he gripped you by your thighs and carried you to his bedroom, as if you had practiced this a hundred times before. It felt like second nature to kiss Raphael, even though this was your first time doing so.

And you hated that you felt that way. 

What followed could, in no universe, be described as love-making. It was desperate and reckless ecstasy, a steaming release of the fury and tension you had been feeling towards one another for all these years. It could be seen in the way your nails clawed at his tough skin, in the way he pounded himself in and out of you, in the way your needy moans synchronized with his low grunts, in the way you clenched ever so tightly around him as he filled you with himself; it was aggressive, rough, almost mean.

You and Raph stilled for a moment after it was all over, breathing heavily and not saying a word, when you suddenly heard commotion coming from the living room. You made eye contact quickly, eyes widened, before scrambling to get dressed and cleaned up. You scurried out of his room and into the hallway, making it look to the returning brothers like you had been merely using the bathroom. And neither one of you spoke of it.

If you see me out in public, you don't know me, keep it silent In the bedroom, I be screamin', but outside, I keep it quiet Keep it on lowski, I'm the lowest of the lowest Wanna see if you can keep it like nobody know shit

The months that followed held similar tales of hidden passion. You and Raph never outright discussed what was transpiring, but assumed the unspoken rule of not mentioning it to his brothers. You continued to hang out with them when you could; on movie nights, you told them that you liked to wait in the lair for them to return from patrol so that you could eat all the popcorn without them. If Raphael stayed back from patrol, you snuck into his room or the dojo with a sarcastic remark and a smug look to annoy him to the point of 'teaching you a lesson'. If one of you was feeling particularly desperate to let off some steam, he would sneak out to your apartment on their nights off, telling his brothers that he was going to go get some air to 'clear his mind'. No matter what time he called or texted, you answered. It was almost like an addiction; you couldn't get enough of each other, and you couldn't deny how the other was able to satisfy you perfectly. 

You know how to reach me every time and it plays in your mind With a rush that feels like we committin' a crime You know where you belong, I'm gon' save you a spot But we can't be outside 'cause the block is too hot And I'm all on your mind...

At first, as stubborn as you both were, you kept up your gig of hating each other, despite the passion you were displaying. Between kisses and within sexual acts, your bickering continued relentlessly. "Wow, ya didn't even wear panties today. Gettin' desperate, are we?" "By the looks of your crotch right now, I don't think I'm the desperate one, dumbass." "Ya better watch yer fuckin' mouth." "Why, Red? Can't handle the heat?" "Oh, I'm boutta show ya heat, sweetheart." 

It was a balancing act, both of you trying not to break face and show the other how much you were enjoying these rendezvous of yours. Pride is a crazy thing, however, and as the situation went on, it began to manifest itself in other ways. 

Raphael was the one to start it, about a month into the endeavor. He couldn't help himself; after a day of arguing with Leo and feeling like a disappointment, he sought you out to release his frustrations. And the way you looked writhing and whining above him (as he munched like his life depended on it) had him feeling real smug. His hazel eyes watched you as he worked, the liquid gold shining with mischief. When he came up for air, his hands still keeping busy, the pride emerged.

"Anyone else make ya feel like this, doll?" He asked, his low voice scraping your ears like gravel, a dark smirk spreading across his face. "Tell me. Can anyone else make ya feel this good?" You had rolled your eyes and scoffed in the moment, but couldn't help the moans that continued to emerge from your mouth at his actions, clenching the sheets beneath you. He saw your bratty behavior and abruptly halted his movement, holding your hips still so that you were trapped. "Answer the damn question, or I'm stoppin'." You squirmed for a moment, whining, but your need had consumed you like a demon. "No!" You yelped. "No one else makes me feel this good, Raph! No one else makes me feel like you do! Please don't stop, please!" You wouldn't have called it begging after the fact, but he most certainly did. 

After that, something shifted. Sure, your sessions were still utilized for tension release, but there was more of a possession between you two than there had been before. The two of you were hanging out more often than you ever had. The bickering lessened, and in its place was validation, need, and your names on each others' lips. The contact grew more tender, and the conversations afterwards were more joke-y and only held friendly fire.

"So... do ya wanna put on that movie you were tellin' me about the other day?" "Wow, you wanna watch a movie with me? You must reallyyyyyyy enjoy spending time with me, Red~" "To be honest, I'm not here for you, I'm just here for the take out I know yer gonna end up orderin' later." "I love this hot n cold thing we have going on here. It's really turning me on." "Yer such a fuckin' goofball."

Between the two of you grew a mutual respect, an understanding, a cooperation: a love.

You found yourself thinking of things you wanted to tell Raph about when he wasn't around, and craving his input when you sought him out for advice. You yearned for the sound of his gruff voice and his blunt choice of words that always made you laugh or eased your mind. He found himself longing for the random questions you asked him or the jokes you'd regularly crack (whether they were funny or not) and the angelic sound of your laughter. Neither of you told the other about these feelings you were having, but they continued to develop on both sides.

Raphael found himself pondering these feelings one day while hitting the bag in the dojo, growing frustrated with himself. You had been in the lair hanging out with his brothers, and he continued his workout routine in the interest of being discreet, but he longed for nothing more than to hang out with you. To just be with you like his brothers were right now.

Of course, a particular brother in blue was bothering him more than normal. Leo was closer to you today than he normally was: giving you long hugs, sitting close to you on the couch, making you laugh with his idiotic jokes. Raph scoffed as he heard your laugh from the living room now, throwing an extra aggressive jab. What did Leo know, anyway? He'd bet that he could make you laugh twice as hard. He stopped, annoyed with himself for being so worked up, and stepped away to grab a towel and some water. 

As he made his way over to the mini fridge to grab a bottle, he was surprised to see you making your way over to him. Normally, on nights like these, he didn't expect anything from you besides your staged bickering until his brothers went to sleep or you went back to your apartment. You had a playful smile on your face as you approached the mini fridge, a message in your eyes that he couldn't quite make out, but goddamn he knew they were trying to say something to him.

"Hey, big guy. Leo sent me to grab some water," you looked up at him as you spoke, the smirk still on your face. And all the hope that Raph had felt in that moment dissipated, like popping a balloon. He scoffed at you, rolling his eyes before grabbing a water bottle and walking away. 

"Wait, woah. What's the matter?" He heard you ask from behind him, confused. He shook his head as he walked. "Nothin's the matter," He spoke slightly under his breath, but you could still hear him. "Why don't ya just go back to Leo? You're all over him, anyway."

He heard your footsteps as you followed him over to his bench. "Hold up, do you have a problem with me hanging out with your brother?" Raph couldn't make eye contact as he turned around to face you, so he looked down at the ground and huffed, eye ridges furrowed.  "Well, ya know me, and I don't like ta share. So if you're gonna hang out with him like that, then go ahead." 

"And just what would you be sharing?" You stood your ground a couple of feet in front of him, arms crossing at your chest and a determined glint in your eye. "Be straight with me, Raph, 'cause it's time we talked about this. What's going on between us?" He let out a grunt, shocked at your sudden confrontation, but still refusing to make eye contact. "Obviously nothin', if yer gonna go hang with Leo like that."

You inhaled, trying to maintain your patience. From the proximity you now held with the turtle in red, you knew you wouldn't get anywhere by fighting back. "Let me rephrase that. What do you want to be going on between us?" Raph moved to turn away from you, huffing again. "I don't know! Geez!" He exclaimed, before you grabbed his large bicep. He faced you, his massive form towering over your frame as you stepped close to him. He finally looked into your eyes, and saw nothing but a genuine question. No teasing, no tormenting, just a silent plead.

"Hey, talk to me, Red. It's just me." You smiled softly, begging eyes searching his liquid gold ones for something, anything, to grab onto and run with. He let you for a moment, before looking down at the ground again, growing more and more frustrated with himself. He took a deep breath, and kept his gaze on the floor as he spoke. 

"...I'm not very good with words, ya know that." He paused for a moment, making quick eye contact with you before looking back to the floor. "But I just... I like how this is goin'. How we're goin'... I like us together. I like bein' with ya, Y/N, and I just wanna do that without any of the other shit. I..." He stopped again, taking another deep breath. "I want to be with ya for real. And I'm sorry if I messed this up and that's not what ya want--" 

"I want that, too, Raph," You cut him off with a rising smile on your face, not being able to wait any longer. "That's all I've been wanting to be honest. I should have mentioned it earlier." Raph returned his eyes up to your face, shock gracing his expression. "Wait, so yer not into Leo?" He questioned, slightly caught off guard. You rolled your eyes and gave him a playful shove. "No dumbass, I'm into you." He watched your smile grow into a beam, silent, before a smile began to grow on his face as well. 

"God, finally," a voice exclaimed before Leo came out from behind the entrance of the dojo, walking up to the two of you. "It took you guys long enough. Even I was getting impatient." "Thanks buddy," you said to him, smiling as you guys bumped fists. Raphael watched the exchange, confused. "Wait... what?" He asked gruffly, eyes flicking between you and his brother. "You knew... about.. us?"

"Dude, we've all known for a while." Mikey shouted from the living room. Donnie walked past the entrance of the dojo and paused, a newly filled cup of coffee in his hand. "Yeah, you guys aren't exactly the most discrete," he said, before continuing his stroll back to his lab. Leo chuckled before turning back to his brother. 

"I was tired of watching you guys sneak around, so I finally confronted Y/N about it last week, and she spilled the beans on how she felt about you. Something told me you felt the same way, call it a brotherly instinct. Or maybe it was all the times you not-so-secretly snuck off to her apartment." He gave his muscly brother a playful punch to the bicep. "So pardon me for playing matchmaker a little bit."

You took a step closer to Raph, hugging yourself around one of his arms and looking up at him through your lashes. "Yeah, I mayyyyyyy have gotten impatient and recruited Leo to help me move things along. That's why we were all cuddly today. But you don't mind, right?" You jokingly pressed him, batting your eyelashes. 

He rolled his eyes at you and scoffed, removing you from his arm, but wrapped his arms around your waist instead of pushing you away. He pulled you from his side to his front, turning you to completely face him and ignoring his older brother present in the room. "Yeah, I guess it's fine or whateva," he fake-sighed, bringing you close to his plastron and leaning in toward you. You, too, leaned in, your arms reaching up to wrap around his neck. 

"Okay, at least wait until I'm out of the room to start sucking face," Leo commented, turning around and booking it out of the dojo. The two of you turned your heads to watch him leave before facing each other again, glowing smiles on your faces. 

"So... I guess I tamed the tiger, huh?" He teased gruffly, nudging his snout into your cheek. You giggled, a mischievous glint reaching your eyes. "Who said anything about tame?" You teased back, playing with the ends of his blood red mask.

"That's my girl," he murmured, before smashing his lips into yours.

[angels-fantasy]

Top Secret Fiction Ch. 3

Grass Talks (Literally)

Katsuki Bakugou x Reader

Description: After meeting the one and only pro hero Dynamight on a dating app, you two begin to see each other. Because of the dangers that come with his hero work, you both promise to be completely honest with each other from the beginning; though you can't help but keep one big secret from him.

You write fan fiction, mostly about him.

Chapter Details: Soft, lowkey ooc Bakugou but thats bc I imagine him to be a lot more mellow as an adult. Little bit of a serious talk, but nothing crazy. Readers quirk is also mentioned

Word Count: 1k

previous chapter

The date had been going well so far, and the sun was even beginning to set since now it was almost 7:00 pm.

You two were currently lying on your backs together, looking up at the sky filled with clouds, stomachs full of yummy food.

"That one looks like a giraffe, or something else with a long neck." You said point up at a cloud.

Bakugou hummed, "Nah, I think it's a flower or something. Don't you see the stem? And there's even petals around it."

Tilting your head at a different angle, you tried to see what he saw.

"I don't see it! I thought I would, since I'm used to seeing flowers all the time..." You said while still looking up in wonder.

Bakugou sat up and rested his elbows on his knees, "That's right. You're a florist ain't you? What made you wanna do that?"

You stayed lying down and answered him, "Yeah, I've been a florist for a few years now. I chose it because of my quirk."

"What is your quirk anyways? Is it something with plants and all that crap?"

"Yep. I can talk to plants, so taking care of them is much easier and I love being able to help others that are struggling with their own plants."

Bakugou rubbed his hand along the grass, "So me doing this... is it hurting the grass?"

You closed your eyes and listened, hearing the grass ask what it was that was rubbing all over them.

"It's not hurting them, but they can feel it."

He pulled his hand away. "What about walking on the grass. Does that hurt 'em?"

"Sometimes it can. If you're walking normally, then no. But if you're stomping all over them, then yes it does hurt them." You said, finally sitting up and facing him.

You leaned over and ran your hand along the top of the grass very lightly, hearing the voice of the grass sigh at the feeling. You learned early on after developing your quirk that most plants actually enjoy being pet, if you can call it that.

"They like it when you do this to them. Just make sure you do it really gently." You said while showing him how to pet the grass.

He followed your directions with a grunt and did the same motion as you.

You laughed lightly, "Petting grass is kind of silly now that I think about it. I guess it's different since I know that the grass likes it."

He shook his head and pulled his hand away, "It's not. I think it's interesting. I have some plants at home, now I'm wonderin' if they're happy with me."

You giggled at that, "I'm sure they are. But thank you. I always felt like my quirk wasn't super useful since I couldn't be a hero, y'know?"

"You don't gotta be a hero to have a useful quirk. Everyone can find a way to use their quirk, trust me."

You smiled softly, "You know what, you're really sweet. You don't portray yourself like that on the media at all."

"I ain't sweet." He said looking away shyly.

"If you say soooo." You cooed.

He smirked lightly and looked at you, "Thanks for uh, being genuine by the way."

You furrowed your eyebrows, "What do you mean? Why wouldn't I be genuine?"

"I mean like, almost everyone I've met just wants to be with me because I'm a hero. It just makes dating a lot harder, I guess."

You frowned at his words. You knew there were people who were out for money, but to play with someone's feelings like that? That was just heartless. You knew Bakugou was a grown man and fully capable of handling himself, but you couldn't help but feel bad.

You place on of your hands on top of his and said, "I understand what you mean, and I want to let you know that I don't have any bad intentions at all."

"I won't lie and say I'm not a fan of you as a hero," You continued, "but right now I'm getting to know you as Bakugou. So I hope you'll continue to allow me to."

Bakugou genuinely smiled. No smirk, or sly remark following it. Just a smile.

"Thanks. That means more than you know. But on that same topic, I also wanted to talk to you about a boundary I have if we're going to continue seeing each other." He said seriously.

You nodded your head and listened attentively.

"Because of my line of work, I just ask that you be honest with me about things. I fuckin' hate liars in general, but I really need you to understand that I can't have someone around if they're gonna be keepin' secrets and shit." He said frowning, almost as if he was thinking of a particular person when speaking about liars.

You nodded and smiled. "I promise, I'll be completely honest with you. I really wanna keep seeing you and if that's all it takes then I'm willing to do it."

He grunted. "Good. Let's clean up now, I'll take you home."

Just as you were about to start cleaning up, your phone went off. You picked it up quickly and saw that it was an email, a notification from the site you write fan fiction on.

You bit your lip and thought about what Bakugou just said. Deciding to ignore the notification, you just continued to clean up.

...

After Bakugou had dropped you off back at home, you quickly changed into your pajamas and got comfortable.

You said goodnight to Cheerios and your plants, who said goodnight back.

When you got in bed, you looked through your emails and at the notifications from HeroFiction.com that you had received earlier.

You began to think about Bakugou's words again.

"I fuckin' hate liars."

You shook your head and tried to rid away any negative thoughts you had. This secret wasn't that big of a deal, and it was probably for the better that he didn't know.

Keeping one secret wouldn't hurt, right?

...

next chapter

authors note

i had fun writing this chapter :) i hope you liked it! i also hope you liked softer bakugou here, hehe.

taglist: @doumadono @54fangirl @andysdrafts @dagger-dragger @lovra974 @l4rsun1vrrse @emmab3mma @littlkittenfan @tatiquichi @cloudxluv @seonne @shonen-brainrot @the2ndl @gold24fish @cxp1d @rv19

(those in pink are not able to be tagged unfortunately)

[utilitycaster]

What do you think of the overall structural and character changes for these first three episodes of TLOVM S3? I've been pretty happy/they make sense to me, but I've seen some grumbling, particularly about the changes to J'mon's entrance. (Some believe they could have kept the fight and trial, thinking it wouldn't have taken up much time, which I am...dubious about)

Much as I enjoyed the fight and trial in the campaign I think J'mon's intro was fine and of the changes it frankly did not even register. Like...there's a lot of deviation, and if someone's fixated on that it's like. that? really?

Anyway just a quick rundown:

Changing Scanlan to have Kaylie present in Ank'Harel and for him to fuck up again with her is a good idea setting up the Bard's Lament, as is sort of removing the whole "do you spice" arc and leaving in a little nod to it, because like, that was funny in-game but it doesn't translate well

I am cautiously in favor of Vax being the one to pull away from Keyleth. I know Keyleth is tough to convey well in this adaptation - I think for all that her arc stands out more in the campaign, Vex's is easier to turn into an animated series - but the "Keyleth isn't sure and Vax is like I understand and I'll wait but like. could we make out" vibes in-campaign never really were my thing even though it was consensual, so this does sit a little better with me. I do hope Keyleth is given some opportunities to voice her own feelings though, complicated as they are, as well as like...this makes more sense in my critiques of Campaign 3 but in Campaign 1, early Keyleth was terminally indecisive. Conclave-era Keyleth was "I know what I DON'T want (the Clasp, Raishan)" which was a huge step forward, but shooting things down, while important, isn't the same as leading. She eventually reached actual leadership - knowing what she did want. I think if Keyleth can argue for the things she wants, even if they're a little different than they were in Campaign 1, we'll be fine. So we're in a holding pattern to see what she does. I think giving her a juicy spire of conflux retrieval in which she takes the lead would address any concerns.

Vex and Percy changes are great, the vibe is correct, that's all I care about and other people have discussed this at length far more eloquently than I will, as I'm going to bed in like 15 minutes.

Intrigued by Draconia changes, not sure what they'll be exactly but I assume they'll still destroy it. I think destroying it in front of Percy and Vex might give it the emotional weight it had in the campaign without, well, you know.

Moving the armor to the hells sounds great, I thought they'd just skip Plate of the Dawnmartyr tbh because it was kind of clunky and weird to retrieve but now I'm invested for Zerxus reasons.

I think I'm a lot more open to adaptational changes than much of the fandom? Like...look. I think if you hear "we're doing different things" for C2 and think "Molly lives", as discussed before, you do not get how this works. But the changes we have here all feel pretty true to the characters; not having every specific battle (ESPECIALLY because D&D battles don't always translate well to TV) is literally not even on my radar.

[zhuoyichenpretty]

aww yeah ep 20 GOOD

I guess I do (very casual, broadstroke) episode commentaries now, halfway through the show lmao. Spoilers below!!

Bai Jiu BETRAYAL?

Wen Xiao WANTED?

Zhuo Yichen DETECTIVE-ING?

Ying Lei BACK?

*crowd cheers*

The dots are connecting like crazy with the big bad's whole inner core crusade and also with the simultaneous demon case like I did not recognize Ao Yin as the demon Li Lun first released eight years ago but oooh do I enjoy that minor payoff.

Love the repeated use of the demonic-spell-restraining sigils now that we've been introduced to them though I wonder why the Bureau doesn't ever seem to make use of them. Maybe they don't deal with enough powerful demons to need to paint those in their own (very empty) dungeon? Or perhaps just plot convenience. (edit: someone has pointed out the Bureau indeed uses them!! I'm just blind <3)

Anyway I kind of wish in the Chongwu Camp dungeon PSJ fought a little bc she's so cool in action and their bailing was a little abrupt, but it makes sense that they'd have an immediate getaway plan. Also this is an ep 19 comment but that line Mr. 3-Face Mask delivered about PSJ being fated to always be betrayed by her little brother(s) HURT. So good.

Back to the Bureau, I do love me a good framing, and I'm also happy to get a tiny bit of the episodic demon-murder-case style back. WX was v clever to hide out in Situ Mansion, and (small detail but) I appreciate that the others catch her up on the Bai Jiu thing onscreen. As an aside, I also like that the actress for WX got to be double-casted even just briefly. Seeing some of the actors get to play around with portraying various extremes in characterization and costuming is a ton of fun.

And then yay Bai Jiu backstory at last~! It's crazy how much that blood moon fucked up everyone's lives eight years ago huh.

Everything ZYC says to him is on point (and honestly, ZYC is really quite adept at comforting others, he just sucks utter ass at it when it's his fault and he has to apologize lmaooo) but of course my favorite scene in the whole episode is as follows:

The very slight shine in the waterline, the bittersweet smile/grimace as, deliberately or not, ZYC's words indirectly echo everything about the circumstances between the two of them right now??? Whew. They did that for me specifically.

Anyway, this was a good one to chew on for me, packed with plot movement enough that I didn't feel unsatisfied with just one episode. I'm glad that so far it seems like the release schedule bears in mind what episodes should be watched in pairs for maximum effect (eps 16/17, 18/19 specifically) and which ones are okay to stand alone for the day, but I also don't want to speak too soon haha. We'll see how ep 21 fares.

Also since this is a ZYC stan account (lmao) I have some obligatory ZYC thoughts that I haven't managed to fit anywhere else. I've been meaning to comment on this for a while now and was reminded by this episode: I love the fact that ZYC actually smiles quite often. I think it's a bit surprising every time he does because he so easily fits the archetype of stoic broody action hero, but it really is just an archetype he's fit himself into, and it's never clearer than when they flash back to smiley baby!ZYC (how freely and purely he used to give those smiles away...).

On the other side of this is also how caustic and biting he can be with his words, whether sarcastically or otherwise, and how clearly his face telegraphs his emotions in general. I love that he actually emotes quite a lot and isn't cold and unaffected in the least, just pouty frowny and awkward.

The last piece to this for me is probably his age (which I very much appreciated being established super early on) and how convincingly TJR portrays him as young and inexperienced and extremely earnest. He's so sincere in everything he does that it really doesn't take much to move him, which also (imo) makes his arc less overdone.

We all know from the start what direction his development will likely go, how he'll learn he's mistaken about ZYZ and how he'll grow to have a more nuanced view of the world as he creates more bonds with others. But he's so emotional and emotionally aware that it doesn't really take much push and pull to get him there. And actually, it's not untread ground to him—he is moreso thawing, in part returning to the open-hearted nature that he had to very abruptly shutter away rather than fundamentally changing as a person. I think to me, that makes his character more compelling to watch because his cynicism about the world is perhaps the least sincere thing about him. It's entirely learned, and not by choice. Relatable.

[fandomtherapy44]

Coffee Meet-Ups Sam Winchester x Fem! Reader One Shot!

summary: Y/n needs a tutor, and Sam is happy to help.

Warnings: A little bit of cussing, kissing

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cafekitsune

WC: 1,434

AN: Hey Ya'll, I thought I would do a fluff fic for our boy Sam Winchester, I've done fics for Cas and Dean, so I thought it was time for Sam. I also just put out a Dean Fic with smut if you're interested, I hope you guys enjoy!

The air is crisp and cool leaves are falling down, the sky is full of orange and brown. I could see my breath make puffs like I was smoking. People in Harvard sweaters were walking to their classes. A slight hint of cinnamon and apple drafting through the atmosphere really gives you the Fall feel. A real Gilmore Girls picture. Too bad I didn’t have the time to enjoy it. I am currently running to make it to my tutor meeting on time. 

“Excuse me!” I said rushing in between and out of people making it look like I was crazy.

I finally made it to the on-campus coffee shop. And there is my tutor looking very disappointed while looking at his watch and then at me like a mother would if you missed curfew.

“Hey, Steve I am so ready to learn all about the integration of advanced criminal law.” I try to soften everything with a smile. 

“Great, my suggestion is to sit down and open the book I’ll see you around.” He walks past me and I grab his arm.

“Wait Steve, please I will fail this class without you.” I pleaded almost begging.

“Y/n you are smart but you don’t imply yourself enough and I don’t have the time to do it for you, good luck.” With that, he turns and walks out letting the cold hit me with the realization that I no longer had the very expensive tutor that my parents were paying for. I sighed deeply racking my brain about what I was going to do and turned and ran into someone and something hot.

“Ah fuck! Shit holy that fucking-” I looked up and I saw one of the cutest guys I had ever seen. And suddenly my burn from the coffee didn’t seem so bad anymore.

“Oh my gosh I am so sorry, here sit down I'll bring napkins.” he leads me to a chair very carefully. He brings napkins with cold water on them. “Agan I am very sorry I wasn’t looking where I was going and I-” He stops and does the same thing I did. 

“I’m babbling and this is the the first thing I should have asked, are you okay?” His eyes peer into mine and they are a deep chocolate brown.

“Yeah, I'm okay nothing like a mini heart attack to start the day.” I joke to lighten the mood.

“Definitely, I’m Sam.” He brings out his hand to shake. I take it and he has a nice firm handshake. 

“Y/n, so where were you going with such hot coffee so early?”

“Just classes.” 

I then see the books he’s carrying.

“So law huh? Same here.” He looks kind of shocked at that.

“Really what made you want to do law?” He asks now intrigued.

“I want to… make a difference really fight for the people who can’t fight for themselves, basic I know.” I picked at my fingernails to try to distract myself from my own self-deprecation.

“No no, I like that, a lot of people become lawyers for the wrong reasons.”

“Well, it's not like I'll even be able to come one.” 

“Why?” He asked with true wonder for some reason about a stranger.

“I am totally failing my classes that’s why I was actually here I was meeting my tutor but I screwed that up too.” 

Sam then gets an idea.

“How about I tutor you.” He says with complete seriousness.

“What no I couldn't ask you to do that Sam, I'm sure you're super busy.” I blinked my eyes not believing the offer.

“Well you're not asking I’m offering, it can be me making it up to you for spilling coffee on you so what do you say?” I look at him and his sincerity in his eyes and for some reason I believe him which is weird for a guy I barely know.

“Okay, you are on Sam.” We shake on it.

I am actually early for once to a tutor meeting. Books open, coffee ready. I didn't want to waste Sam’s time. He walks in looking cute without even trying he’s in some jeans and a brown sweatshirt matching his hair. 

“Hey, you ready?” He sat down and pulled out his book.

“Yes teach!” I pulled out my pencil and was ready. 

“Ok good.” He chuckles at enthusiasm. “So let’s start with chapter fifteen…”

About two hours later I had been taught and understood more about law than I had from my tutors and teacher. 

“Wow, Sam, I think you're the best I've ever had.” I blush at what I just said and try to quickly backpedal. “I mean I the best tutor I mean.” I mentally slap my forehead.

“Thank you and you are welcome. And you are the best student I've had.” He smiles at my clumsy put together complement.

“No way I mean I got like ten questions wrong.” I was flattered but a little shocked at that.

“Yeah I mean I don’t usually tutor and you actually want to learn unlike some people here.” 

“You don’t usually tutor then why me?” I asked hoping that it wasn't pity.

“I saw you're potential and thought you deserved a chance too.” 

I didn’t even notice that tears were in my eyes.

“Thank you, Sam. I won’t let you down!” I gave a big smile and a thumbs up.

“I know.” 

It had been about two weeks into these tutor sessions with Sam and the information was actually sticking like never before we also had started to build a friendship.

“So worst injury from when you were a kid, go.” I half demanded in a friendly way while sipping my coffee we had been an hour in but got distracted by talking about our childhoods I can't even remember who asked the first question.

He sits back in his chair thinking for a moment. “Mhh I broke my arm when I was four.”  

My eyes light in surprise. “Really!? How?” 

“I had followed my brother on top of a shed and we were dressed as Superman and Batman and he had convinced me that I could actually fly so I jumped off and lold and behold I broke my arm so Dean had to take me in his handlebars on his fisher price bike.” he finished off with laughing and I joined in.

“Wow, I don’t know if I can top that.” I slapped his arm.

“Oh come on it’s your turn.” 

“Okay well, when I was six I sprang my ankle.” I see his face and he tries to hold back his laugh. “Hey hey, I never said it was good.” I also laugh.

“Well, I guess it's good that it wasn't worse but it doesn't really make for a good story.”

“That’s what I told you!” I then think about my test.

“Hey, Sam?”

“Yeah?”

“You think I can pass this test?” I picked at my fingernails again.

He grabbed my hand. And directed my head to meet his.

“I fully believe in you Y/n, you are going to be a damn good lawyer.” Again I look into his eyes and believe him.

I grab my test and run to find Sam. I ran through in-between other people not caring if I bumped into them. 

“Sam! SAM!” I yelled all the way to the coffee shop with the test paper in my hand arm raised looking crazy. And I did not care. I get there and see him in there standing in line. I pulled open the door and full on ran to him.

“Sam SAM! LOOK! LOOK!” Everyone looks at me with a look at this girl who belongs in the coo-coo place. “Sam I passed!” I hand the paper to him he takes it studies it and sees the grade.

“I knew you could go it!” He picks me up in a hug and spins around in excitement. He puts me down both of us high and giddy from the good news our eyes met and we both decide to go for it. We meet in the middle of a sweet kiss. It was slow with a tiny bit of earning behind it. His lips were a bit chapped but still soft somehow. We both let go at the same time.

“Wow, that was amazing.” He said while gently grabbing my hand.

“Really, me too.” I smiled at our hands joined. “I guess it’s lucky you bumped into me.”

“And I guess I'm lucky you needed a tutor.” I giggle at that and we kiss again.

Thank you for reading!

[junktastic]

I had a drawing months back that went kinda viral I guess, and it getting out of my normal sphere of followers meant that I got to observe how folks far outside of my twitter sphere interact with twitter and others. For reference, I am talking about this image:

The context, besides getting to draw my friend Jenny, was that I saw a picture that was of an anime girl that said "lets be in our early 30s together" and I was like "haha, I will make my own version of this." Part of it was also that I think aging is fine, and we need to stop stressing so much over staying young. "Lets be in our mid-thirties together" is not a joke, I sincerely wanted this image to be warm and inviting, to maybe give people hope that there will be friends and people who love you once you get to that age. I never thought I was going to make it to 30, and I just turned 35 this year, and I'm the happiest I've ever been.

Some responses were obviously teens/early 20s people saying they don't want to get that old, which is whatever. When you're that young the dirty thirty sounds so ugly. No one cool is in their 30s! Well, if you ignore the people who make all the things they like. These responses I waved these off.

I saw the typical twitter experience replies of "this doesn't apply to me?" Ok bitch! Go make your own like I did! And show me when you do, I'd love to see it!

There was a handful of people who were saying "retweet to scare a twink" which I felt was kind of rude. Not to me, but to the twinks out there. Aging doesn't make you less of a twink.

Lots of people were sending it to their significant others or saying they hope to find someone to be in their mid-thirties with, which I love. :3 It makes me happy!

The one kind of response which is what I made this post for and I'm so sorry that I've been rambling, that I found weird was the people who will reply to just you. The OP. As if they are replying to everyone in the thread. I'm not talking about in QRTs, just straight in the replies. "Don't forget how tired she looks in this." Brother I drew the picture. I know. And ever since then I feel like, as someone who loves to read the replies on other people's tweets, I notice this a lot more often. Who are they talking to? Is this what people are referring to when they say "Main Character Syndrome?" Or should I be lumping these together with the "why isn't this about my exact personal life situation" people?

My fiancé says I'm thinking about this too hard (I got engaged last month btw), and he's probably right. I can't help but be curious about how other people choose to interact with the internet and images and people on it. And, I guess, am I supposed to reply? How should I feel about these. I guess I have to decide that on my own.

For the record, you are all very normal/understandable when it comes to what you guys tag my stuff with. That you love the girls (same!), that they're very gender (love this), or wow is this [insert fetish](not my intention but that's the internet). I feel like the slime girls get the "gender" comment the most and you are all so right for that. Every time I see people reblog my ocs I think "Thank you for loving [name]."

That's all! This was a pointless post but I'm unemployed right now so I have too much time to overthink things for no reason. How do YOU feel about how people interact with your posts? Are they weird? Or are they normal about it.

[neteyamslovrr]

congrats on 2k babes!🫶🫶🫶💖💖💖💖 if no one requested it yet, i’d like to request #7 with neteyam bc yk i’m in love with neytiri and i need her validatiooon

ADORES YOU

another drabble for 2k and its neteyam!!!! ugh love that guy (it's currently 2am but i could not sleep so 🫶)

yawntutsyìp - darling, little loved one

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

neteyam was everything you could've asked for in a mate. he was loving, he was caring, he was kind. He knew you inside and out as you did him. but something that constantly ran through your mind was if you were good enough for him. more specifically if his mother thought you were.

you adored Neytiri. she was brave, she was powerful and she was protective. she was someone you truely looked up to. which is why when neteyam would ask you (beg you) to eat dinner at his home, however you were always weary.

"we've been together for a long enough time now, you shouldn't be afraid of my mother." neteyam was sitting across from you holding your hands tight in his grip.

"i'm not afraid! i've spoken with your mother before i just don't want her to think badly of me. i want to be a good mate for you." neteyam's expression softened as he let out a sigh before squeezing your hand reassuringly.

"my beautiful girl you know you are a good mate for me. you are wonderful in every aspect, and i know my mother sees that." you looked up to him giving him a loving gaze, kissing his lips softly before caressing his cheek.

"i'll go, okay?" neteyams smile lit up as he engulfed you in a tight embrace.

"thankyou yawntutsyìp, thankyou."

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

you were seated around a low table that was set up with an array of food including bugs, small servings of fruit and the meat jake had caught early that week.

the atmosphere in your mates home was calm, it was like a warm hug almost, love filling the entire space.

"so neteyam says you are very good at weaving?" jake started the conversation right after slurping his food. neteyam smiled at you, motivating you to speak to the slightly intimidating Olo'eytkan in front of you.

"yes, yes! i make lots of jewellery for my friends and mother, and i tend to help make alot of the materials around here."

" can you make me a pretty necklace pleassee" tuk smiled up at you her eyelashes batting as she begged.

"tuk, you do not beg to the guests." neytiri chimed in, giving you an apologetic look.

"oh no! it's okay i'd love to make tuk one. she could have a matching one for the one i made neteyam? maybe?"

tuk excitedly jumped around before giving you a big hug. "thankyou thankyou." you smiled hugging her back before digging into your food.

neytiri smiled at the two girls bonding. and neteyam caught on giving his mother a knowing smile. neytiri looked at him, while you were still animatedly talking to tuk. and gave him a nod.

the nod was important. it was to say. she is a perfect mate, she is good to have around and neteyam was filled with joy as soon as he caught on.

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

leaving neteyam's tent it was time for you to head home, so as he always did he started walking you home with his arm wrapped tightly around your waist.

"it wasn't as scary as i thought it would be" you smiled up at him, happy that the night went so well.

"my family loves you, you're going to have to come around more often."

"what about your mother? does she like me?" neteyam squeezed you a little tighter as he smiled down at you.

"my mother adores you." your face lit up, a huge smile bursting onto your face.

"she does?! oh i'm so glad." you stopped to give him a tight embrace, overwhelmed by the joy of being accepted by his mother.

"so this means you might just have to eat dinner with me every night, isn't that terrible?" you gave him a little nudge, rolling your eyes.

"i'll have to get started on tuk's necklace then if i'm coming back."

"i think you'll have to gather more supplies because she will be begging for jewellery everytime you come over." giggling you realised that you had reached where your family was situated in high camp.

neteyam leaned down to give you a soft good night kiss. "i'll see you tomorrow teyam." you gave him another kiss.

"sleep well pretty girl."

_________ ׂׂૢ་༘࿐

thankyou for reading (⁠´⁠∩⁠｡⁠•⁠ ⁠ᵕ⁠ ⁠•⁠｡⁠∩⁠`⁠) reblogs super duper appreciated!!

[thegnomelord]

was thinking about drawing Ifrit from "Hell has a basement floor" and had some headcanons on his appearance.

on one hand i was thinking to make him tall and burly, built big to store all the mana and power he has, make him built like a volcano.

on the other.... what if and hear me out.... Ifrit.... skinny. tall and gangly, long limbs, underfed, outlines of bones poking out from underneath the skin, sunken eyes for that extra unsettling factor. besides magic does have a cost. maybe it's just your body that needs to be exchanged.

now i thought of the second hc because tall and skinny isn't exactly associated with the kind of brute force Ifrit has but he's still strong even if his lifestyle is gonna put him in an early grave. now imagine when he's finally part of tf 141 they notice that he's not very well in the food and weight department for his height and the amount of energy he spends so... they start feeding him (especially Price and Soap because protect and care hoard/pack)......

i've also been getting into the trope where characters gain weight as a sign of health and living a better life. so yeah tell me what you think

and maybe share your hcs on Ifrits appearance because i don't want to butcher your creation on accident

Okay 1: you have no idea how happy it makes me when I hear ppl want to draw fan art of my stuff :DD, internally I'm like that dog video where the dogs happily tapping his paws lol bc he can't contain his excitement lol. And also yeah, I'm a huge sucker for the trope and your little idea with Price amd Soap tickles my brain.

And 2: man you did some mind reading bc your hcs are actually very close to what I've made up for the lore of the whole au. While I want to overall leave Ifrit's body type ambiguous to give readers some space to imagine themselves in Ifrit's place, Ifrit is 100% underweight with more of a volleyball/basketball player type build, as mages focus on stamina and endurance rather than raw strength bc that can be augmented with magic. Also has stretch marks because their weight fluctuates a lot lol

Okay lore spoilers so if y'all want to find out through the story skip this-

Okay so— magic is increadibly taxing on the body, not just by eating away flesh and creating mage marks as a Mage's power grows, but just by simply existing inside the body magic stresses the body. Because fundamentally magic is toxic to humans, and even mages who have the needed adaptations to utilise magic are no better than our ancestors when they were first learning to stand on two legs.

The best metaphor I have for magic is chemo drugs. They're used to kill a cancer but they also damage healthy cells. Magic, similarly, damages the body by existing inside it, but also is used by mages to heal the damage as soon as it happens. This uses a lot of calories and also why mages have really irregular weights, losing 10kg in a week isn't an uncommon thing.

Someone possessing even half of Ifrit's capabilities would need to eat 3x that of a regular human of the same height and weight. Mages are literally Shaggy from Scooby Doo lol. And that's only to get the bare minimum their body needs, caloric need becomes much bigger if they're active like Ifrit is. So you'll find that many mages, but especially military ones, are underweight and need to regularly get Iv fluids and nutrients to help their body recover from using magic. They also need to eat a lot of highly caloric food, which isn't easy when one of the most common side effects of magic use is puking your guts up.

Most military mages don't reach 30. The average life expectancy is around 25, with active duty (i.e. constant missions and daily magic use) mages lasting on average 3-4 years before their body basically breaks down, but they can last longer depending on how conservatively they use magic.

Now, knowing all that, Ifrit has been actively using strong magic on par with military mages since they were 14-15 years old and while they're not the healthiest, they're healthy as a horse when compared to most mages. The reason behind their continued survival — their mage marks.

[tubbytarchia]

Jimmy X Life thoughts

This is long (ft. fWhip and Scott and Joel)

TLDR: its all kinda cute but then devolves into Jimmy misery anyway even though he has done nothing

Jimmy's really cute builds??? to lure you in

Obligatory: I only talk about characters

X Life is a goddamn fever dream lol, following are some jumbled thoughts that I've divided into "Jimmy", ""fWhip and Joel", "Jeremyism" and "Scott" thoughts (all in relation to Jimmy). Shoutout to my friend for liveblogging and discussing together with me and pointing out some stuff I missed or better than I could

-- Jimmy thoughts

Jimmy's actually relatively happy within this series, at least at the beginning, and there is no significant "bullying Jimmy" kind of culture thing in place here, even though chronologically this series came after and partially ran at the same time as Legacy where it was very prevelant. They even hold a 100K milestone ceremony for him and it's very cute. Namely though fWhip and Joel treat him very nicely, he even has many really cute interactions with Scott!! I'm not gonna talk about shipping past this one statement but as someone who hasn't liked fWhimmy till now and finds Flower Husbands really interesting but not always healthy, it was... Really relieving to see both of those duos be really cute for me personally. But in spite of this there's still, sigh, a lot of Jimmisery...

Pretty early on, he decides on this thing "Whoever is nice to me gets a stack of diamonds" like, my sweet cheese.... You don't need to give people so much just for being nice to you.... your bank account is in constant ruin!! Lizzie also mods in coffee stuff specifically for him and Jimmy proclaims that any profits he makes from his coffee shops he will split with Lizzie as a thanks... he's so sweet stop it

Near the beginning he's way more assertive than I've grown used to. There's a point where Scott is waiting for him and he can SEE Scott in the distance but then just strolls the shopping district while Scott tells him to hurry up only for Jimmy to mostly ignore him. Another exchange between them goes S: "did I say you could use my villager?" and Jimmy replying "Did I say you could bring me a crab that'd then kill me? Didn't THINK SOOOO!!!". There's so many moments like this and it's so... it's so awesome to see. What changed.... Why can't there be more of this...

But then at some point he starts being harsh towards himself? He starts to call himself an idiot and starts proclaiming "I hate myself" for the most understandable little mishaps and things like?? Son?? He figures out how to make his advertisement poster bigger like everyone else's is and then when he does quickly figure it out all on his own he goes "I hate myself, I really do" WHAT'S THAT FOR. WHAT'S THAT FOR JIMMY!!!! Another moment to point out, Lizzie doing a friendship test thing and she already has pictures of 3 contestants. She calls Jimmy over for him to try and qualify, and when he sees the pictures he says that those look like smart people and he doesn't think he'll make it...

This isn't exclusive to X Life but him building stuff and calling it lovely and being easily excited at discovering the most basic building tricks, but then as soon as someone else is in the picture he immediately starts downplaying himself and calling his building bad...

At some point there's a war that Jimmy really wants to avoid but he gets roped into it by Jack blowing up Peekay's house (totally obliterated that thing) and framing Jimmy for it. Later when there's a confrontation, both he and Peekay clearly know it was Jack, but they fault Jimmy anyway, saying he's escalating things when he's just like. Standing there. Jimmy even ends up asking "what can I do for you to forgive me, for something I didn't do" like no stand your ground man!! You didn't do anything!! Man.... In the end he ends up rebuilding stuff for Jack (why Jack??? I dont know) and when Jack is the first person out of the series, in his Will he stated something along the lines of "I want Jimmy executed because he did a bad job rebuilding my things". And then Jimmy gets set on fire as everyone watches him burn to death. He didn't do anything!!!!!

There's a therapy session after this in which, when Gem asks him to open up, all he says is "Yesterday I woke up and was taken advantage of, that is all"

I think it's Peekay (could be wrong) who also utterly doused Jimmy's house in water as a prank but it... was awful lol. Jimmy's house ended up with lots of holes but at least he was all "I was gonna rebuild anyway". That peeved me so much though... For comparision, Scott pulled a prank on Jimmy where he rebuilt one of his rooms upside down (so kind of moved his furniture to the ceiling) but that's high effort and funny and causes less damage so that's all fair in my books. Good prank. The water dousing was not

He and Scott had a brief prank exchange, but the ONLY thing I can think of where Jimmy was knowingly, unjustifiably in the wrong, was when he cheated on an auction by bidding on a painting after the auction had closed. And even that is such a small offense!! Genuinely all the misery he was caused was just him being caught in the crossfire of other people's shit and it's... ough I don't want to say "he has never done anything wrong" because he totally has but BARELY. Why is it always like this... Hardly ever does he do anything that warrants the things that happen to him

Jimmy's also pretty if not really nice to the mobs, vanilla and modded. In his and Scott's shelter business, he brought in a hostile mob twice with the justification "hostile mobs deserve a home too!!" </3 dawh. He'd make mobs nice enclosures... But then he fucking HATES chickens. He kills them like nothing. Proclaims "I'll enjoy every second of this". Goes "I'll kill only a few of you..." and then kills 10 of them. Violently and instantly kills one stray chicken that escaped his enclosure as Lizzie watches on in horror with the two pandas she just helped bring over. It's kind of insane?? Why.... You're a rancher at heart, what's with the chicken slaughter.... My friend pointed to him canonically being compared to a chicken once. Do with that what you will. Oh also when he came dead last in a race, his immediate reaction upon finishing was to brutally kill his horse?????????? Jimmy??????????????????????????

ALSO he's a good builder?? A lot of people have expressed that Jimmy's building skills have been getting better but I beg to differ, his builds in this series are all really charming and cute? They're not very detailed but they're simplistic and I love it, he obviously has an eye for pleasant looking builds and I'm so SO sad we don't see this too much anymore... There's also a cute moment where he builds a roof out of dirt, says he'll replace it later but apparently his commenters really liked it so he kept it... That's so Jimmy....

-- fWhip and Joel thoughts in relation to Jimmy

fWhip especially is almost (we'll get to that) undingly nice to Jimmy here, and I even felt bad for him in several instances related to Jimmy. Joel is more softspoken as he was in general 3 years ago, and was also almost (we'll get to that) totally nice to Jimmy. At some point they do a horse race and Jimmy comes in dead last but both he and fWhip cheer him on anyway. Joel says "well done Jimmy you nerd" but it's Joel so that counts as him being nice and awesome. It's also very cute that he was partially presenting Jimmy's 100K milestone ceremony, even if it was basically just him calling Jimmy a "wonderful creature" after, to quote my friend, almost vomiting on stage. But it's Joel so it counts

Joel also builds something for Jimmy at some point but whilst they're discussing what it should be like, they land on the word "broken" and Joel goes "broken, like you" and Jimmy replies "broken, like me" like????? Help me this was so early too. That came from NOWHERE. What????? Joel was nice otherwise though... except for one other moment

All three of them create a building business and do acknowledge and agree that Jimmy's not doing the hardest part (building) and doesn't get as much of the profit, seeing as he's just the receptionist. It's still a mostly happy businessship though. They get two bad reviews (from Scott and Peekay) because of Jimmy but all three of them in both instances ultimately agree that Jimmy wasn't at fault. Stuff like Joel taking down a bad review left on a sign saying "the customer isn't always right". Jimmy catches wind of a rumor at some point that he's being fired and when the awaited meeting happens, fWhip and Joel name him receptionist of the month instead, praising him for his hard work in advertising for the business and also making lots and lots of coffee (he's the only one who can even operate the coffee machine lmao. He's really proud of it too, it's very cute. He even keeps bringing it up in an effort for the other two to recognise his value before he gets the news he's anticipating). Jimmy even says "I'm glad that, yknow, you're seeing it. Cus sometimes. yknow. it's really hard for me to feel.. useful. like you guys are building spectacular things and I'm. I'm trying my best." he's genuinely so, so happy and sounds like he's on the brink of tears (claims to be as well)

BUT SIKE PLOT TWIST because I hate myself I went to skim Joel's POV too and he and fWhip actually spoke to one of the other members about Jimmy being a bad receptionist, all "it's Jimmy, you know...". fWhip enforces this and Joel even says "Not to pass blame onto Jimmy but it's all his fault" after which the firing rumor starts to spread. And as far as I could tell, it's forever left ambiguous if they were genuine to any degree when they named him receptionist of the month and this will now keep me up at night. Did they genuinely think Jimmy was at fault in spite of encouraging him that he wasn't? Did they do what they did just to make Jimmy happy even if they believed him to be at fault? Or were they talking shit that one time for no reason...

Joel makes this religion "Jeremyism" to spite Scott (for renaming a bunch of his pets) which Jimmy is the first person to join and is pretty much undyingly devoted to till the very end in spite of the fever dream that spirals from it by the end...

Ignoring that one incident of Joel and fWhip bad-mouthing Jimmy, fWhip was very nice to him, throughout Jimmy's POV at least. I'd like to especially draw attention to fWhip trusting Jimmy to show some other members how to build some houses, like, awgh,,, finally some Jimmy building ability recognition!!! Good for you fWhip!!! They almost exclusively talked in relation to businesses though and at some point made a deal with Jimmy to join Jeremyism if Jimmy would come and basically just hang out with him in the jungle or go on a little adventure. This never happened though

Joel ends up giving up his position as the Jeremyism leader "for content" (??) to anyone who can complete his death obstacle course. Jimmy does, though unfairly by accident (Joel said it was fine though), but finds at the very end of it that someone has already reached this point before him, and of course it was Scott... Scott turns Jeremyism into a proper cult by enforcing rigid rules, his leadership and word, stating that you have to die in order to leave the cult, and his right hand Lizzie demands diamonds as offerings (none of this was a thing before). None of the members seem to be fans, but Joel and Jimmy especially voice and show discomfort, though Jimmy still quickly offers up his diamonds. fWhip fucking burns himself right there thus leaving the cult (king shit) and when he comes to the window from the outside to wave at them, Jimmy is quick to call him a "traitor" and tries to block the view with blocks (this is where I feel for fWhip who has been nothing but nice to Jimmy from Jimmy's POV). Joel makes pathetic attempts at killing Scott with an anvil (fails) and then killing himself (fails)

Gem and Kath put on a therapy session at some point which Jack, fWhip and Jimmy attend. Jimmy states not to want to talk to fWhip (which again hurts) and fWhip makes a subtle jab at Jimmy for never spending time with him in his jungle like he'd promised (totally justified). Jack also hits Jimmy for being part of Jeremyism right at the start, but then when he's jokingly drowning, Jimmy saves him, and he goes "you saved me!! :D". At the end, Jimmy tries to shoot bubbles (not damaging but a nuisance) at fWhip from a distance, at which fWhip starts to run at him to try to lasso him (lassoing a player puts them in a glitchy noclip dimension which they need to relog to get out of). They run around for awhile, fWhip eventually succeeds, Jimmy relogs and then Jack fucking murders fWhip. And then says "I did it for you" to Jimmy. Which, ok. Fast progression, a little insane... fWhip comes back and claims to feel great though. Jimmy pretty much leaves and runs off at this point and unfortunately he and fWhip never make up or have another nice interaction before the finale (I'm quite sure)

Joel uhh Joel just kinda fucks off lol he doesn't even die (Jimmy fills in Joel's grave anyway though)

-- Jeremyism thoughts

Mentioned above how devoted Jimmy was to Joel's religion, and to me it really reads like him finding a home. Like, a genuine home, idk... He really did a lot for it, trying to recruit members and taking care of several Jeremy donkeys and making offerings (Joel also gifted him multiple times)

When Scott takes over, he's clearly very distraught. He tried hard to become the new leader of Jeremyism specifically to stop Scott from ruining it. And yet when Scott does, he can't help but stay, quickly labels fWhip a traitor, offers up his diamonds easily... Even as he's asking for Joel to get up there where Scott is standing, instead of Scott. Jeremyism is done for but Jimmy still holds onto an idea of it

And he does this by literally building a Jeremyism hideout secret from Scott and Lizzy, where he and the other remaining members can hang out. Like come on!! He just wants Jeremyism back... He himself states it's "all I have" and "the one real purpose I had on this server was Jeremyism. And now it's gone" (this is basically before he kills himself and ends his series)

-- Scott thoughts in relation to Jimmy

As I said, they had some really cute interactions. Scott actually treated him nicely and his teasing felt lighthearted enough to not be anything worse than that. They dress up all cute for Halloween, they shoot bubbles at each other, Scott teaches him how to ride a flying carpet, Jimmy's not afraid to be a little sassy back at him... He replaced 3 of Scott's pets as a prank because Scott had gotten him a crab that killed Jimmy at some point, and in retaliation Scott doused his house in crabs, but then they like, ate lunch together date style, it was all good and fun, mutual foolery...

And then this one episode, to quote my friend, someone pissed in Scott's cereal and he's suddenly very dismissive of Jimmy's building skills and contributions like I'd expect to see in Third Life???? They see this arguably amateurishly built hut and Scott turns to Jimmy all accusatory "did you build this??". They build an animal shelter together which is cute but then Scott dismisses Jimmy and says he did almost all of the work and proclaims that he should get almost all of the profits etc. And it pisses me off because just like in 3L, this was a building he just ripped from somewhere else to begin with!! He did lay the foundation and such but you can see Jimmy helping build a decent amount in the timelapse...

At some point he also seems ashamed to admit that Scott helped him with his storage system :(

When Scott reads out Jack's wish to have Jimmy executed, Jimmy goes and basically kneels before Scott, telling him to do it. Scott can't because of spawn protection, but Jimmy gets set on fire instead and he?? Runs to Scott??? He runs to Scott and basically kneels before him AGAIN and Scott does NOTHING and I I don't know I might be insane but. Holy shit this is a fever dream and feels like abstract symbolism but ough that hurt. That hurt a lot. Why did Jimmy run to Scott, why did he kneel/crouch before him as he was burning to death... What was he trying to do... Was he seeking something.... comfort...? Neigh... I just wish to know...

Scott in general is a fever dream in this all by himself though. They all turn up for Jack's funeral and then Scott starts talking about how he tried to be nice and expresses disappointment in having been met with disposition (finding out that Jimmy had a secret Jeremyism cove) acting all "if you want a villain I'll give you a villain!" as if he weren't already one after the cult he turned Jeremyism into and then suicide bombs the entire church still during Jack's funeral. ????? Jesus christ

This screenshot isn't relevant but Im giving it to you anyway

[thelonelyshore-if]

The 2k gift Jay POV was amazing. I liked it a lot. It is indeed very spoilery, I didn't expect to learn that much about Ravi.

Also, I loved that on the stats you put Jay's data. It's so fun to see. It's such a great detail, I wasn't expecting it, even though it makes complete sense. It was fun to see how my MC and Jay have similar personality stats too.

I think you had a great balance on telling information we didn't know yet, but Jay and Ravi would have, while also keeping most of the mystery. Basically, I have more questions than answers now. Which is great.

Also, I love getting inside the head of other important characters in IFs. It's always so interesting. As someone who is romancing Jay, is so great to see how he personally sees the world. How self sacrificing he is. How he is someone you can rely on. It's also wonderful to be able to see more of Jay's daily life and his worries. How decidedly and stubbornly optimistic he tries to be. He is so admirable.

Sorry for using male pronouns, I normally use neutral, but I always play with male Jay. I don't know if there is a difference between female Jay and male Jay on this 2k gift. Yet I wanted to establish that.

I do wonder, however, what do you plan to do with these gifts, if you make more in the future, once the game goes to be published officially (with Hosted Games, or any of the other variants, I'm not too knowledgeable on the subject)? Will you add it as extra content, maybe accesible once the game is finished once? Or is something that you cannot define yet?

Aw, thank you!!

I was really excited to start digging into Ravi stuff. Especially writing how Jay sees him and how they feel about it all. A lot of what was revealed is filtered through Jay's POV; I'm excited for you all to see what Ravi has to say about it in the future, too!

And yess I'm so glad you saw the stats page!! I thought it would be a fun little detail, and it was a blast on my end to try and figure out what Jay's stats would be.

Honestly I'm thrilled you have more questions than answers. I was hoping that would be the case; that I'd reveal some things but leave a lot of it still unexplained.

It's lovely reading your Jay thoughts; I'm glad you enjoyed seeing inside their head. No need to apologize for using specific pronouns, either. When it comes to the gender selectable characters I don't mind if folks default to which they usually play with c:

Jay's genuinely one of my favorite ROs. I can't wait for y'all to see a little deeper into Jay and their life and their struggles--I'm happy that the snippets you did see were enjoyable!! They have a lot going on, and it's going to be fun to explore it as time goes on.

As for your final question, I'm unsure!! I don't know if the extra content is something I'd package with the final product; but I think it's too early for me to say anything definitively. What I've posted will always be available on this blog, though, and at some point maybe I'll figure out a way to put it all in one place.

Thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your thoughts! I hope you continue to enjoy <3

[taeraeszn]

Hi love 😋 Can I please request ZB1's reactions to their jealous s/o. I love your way of writing so much /actually. Have a good day and always rest bby 🤟🏻

how would zb1 react to their jealous s/o?

hi luv! thank you for the request and the kind comment! it really made my day :) i hope this fulfills your request! i was actually really excited to write this since i had lots of ideas in my mind that i could use for each member hehe

these scenarios are a bit longer than my usual ones so enjoy <3

warnings: mentions of food, lmk if there's any more!

kim jiwoong

jiwoong decided to bring over one of his friend's who you weren't a huge fan of, they were often rude to you and didn't bother to speak to you whenever they visited. but today you got even more pissed when they kept clinging onto jiwoong as if he was their boyfriend, worst was that jiwoong did absolutely nothing to stop them!

you could only sigh as you watched on. seeing how close they were really made you feel jealous when you were aware that jiwoong only loved you.

your heart couldn't handle the hurt inside, especially since jiwoong barely paid attention to you despite asking you to come over that day. in the end, your inside feelings won you over and you decided to leave early than you were planning on.

"babe? i'm leaving." you abruptly announced, rushing to the front door to put your shoes on

jiwoong quickly ran over, "why? did something happen?" he asked in a concerned tone. you tried to play it off like you weren't jealous a minute ago.

"oh nothing happened, i have something to do." it seemed to work and jiwoong kissed you goodbye. just as you shut his apartment door, you suddenly felt your heart ache

fast forward a few hours later, you were in your bedroom when you suddenly got a call from your boyfriend. you were hesitant to answer but nonetheless swiped to accept the call

"hello?" you heard shuffling on the other end

"babe be honest with me, you left because of my friend right?"

"how did you expect me to feel when they were all over you? the worst was that you didn't even stop them and let them touch you like that.." your voice cracked at the end

he sighed, "you know i don't love them like that. you are always the person that i love and want to be with. i'm sorry for not paying attention to you and your feelings. please forgive me (name). i love you."

rest of the members are under the cut!

zhang hao

you were able to find a day that accommodated the both of you despite hao's schedule as a member of zb1 and took that day to go shopping together and just spend time together as a couple

well that was what you were expecting to happen until one of hao's friend was also at the mall. his friend spoke mandarin so you had no idea what they were talking about

"hao? it's been so long!" they exclaimed. hao seemed surprised and greeted them

"it really has! how come your in seoul?" and before you knew it they began conversing in mandarin leaving you confused on what else that they were saying

hao then turned to face you, "babe, is it ok if i hang out with them? it's been a while since i've seen them and i want to catch up."

it would be a lie to say that you were happy with this, but even still you allowed him and they left together

all your planning went to waste as it was thrown away that quickly. you were so thrilled to meet up with your boyfriend and find a date that both of you were free on. you knew it would be even more harder to find another day since he had a comeback and a tour approaching

you shut off your phone for the day and headed home on the bus with mixed emotions, mostly jealousy

at around night time you were sitting in your living room when the doorbell suddenly rang, you were surprised that someone was here this late but when you opened it, it was hao!

"uh, hi?" he showed you his recent calls that you missed

"i called you four times today, how come you didn't pick up?" his voice sounding very firm

"oh i thought that you were busy with your friend.." you didn't even mean to say that but it slipped out, hao raised his brow at this

"what?" you shrugged replying, "i don't know. i was excited to hang out with you today knowing it'll be hard to do this again only for you to leave me stranded to hang out with someone else."

hao's frown slowly disappeared as he cupped your cheeks, kissing you gently. "i'm sorry baby. i didn't know you were this hurt over the situation. i promise we can find another day to meet up, i'll make it up to you."

sung hanbin

you decided to stop by the wakeone building to deliver the food you brought for the members after a long day of practice that burnt out the boys

hanbin had also personally asked for you to visit since he missed you, and of course you listened and did exactly that!

you were holding two bags of food in your hand and headed up to the practice room

just as you opened the door, everyone gasped at the food and ran towards you, hanbin being especially excited to see you more than the food

"you guys must've been hungry..." you said, watching as everyone stuffed their faces with the food you bought. gyuvin nodded, "yeah we barely had anything today!"

you then felt a hand touch your shoulder, as you turned to your side, hanbin was right there

"thank you love." he said, pecking your temple.

"of course! you all deserve it after working so hard!"

as they finished eating, they returned to practicing again. you were about to leave when hanbin stopped you at the door

"don't go yet!" he pouted, "at least watch our new choreography!"

you couldn't resist your hamcat boyfriend and decided to stay for a little longer than planned

but what you weren't expecting was a backup dancer that arrived. the music played and one of hanbin's part involved a solo dance with them. his hands were all over them and you could only watch in shock

it was as if you paused in real life, did you actually witness that? you couldn't help but feel jealousy seeping through you

as the music finished, everyone gave hanbin and the dancer compliments and cheers. hanbin then approached you where you were feeling less cheerful than before

"hey what's wrong?" he asked. you shook your head, "nothing. it's just...i wasn't expecting your solo dance to be with someone else."

he then chuckled, showing off his cat whiskers, "don't worry babe. it's just a dance. i don't have any actual feelings for them when i have you."

seok matthew

you've been noticing that matthew has been in the wakeone building more often than usual. he would usually be able to hang out with you but it had been nearly three weeks since you last saw each other

you didn't think you did anything wrong so you were puzzled as to why matthew hadn't proposed a date to go on. you've also been noticing that matthew was sending you lots of voice chats of him singing, sharing how well he was doing

so one day you decided to reach out to one of his members and see what was going on

the contact you called the most was taerae, matthew's 02 friend. you pressed the call button and waited

about 5 seconds later, taerae picked up and gave you a cheerful hello

"hey taerae! i was just wondering, what has matthew been up to recently?"

"matthew? i thought you would know since you two are dating."

"yeah but the past few weeks he's barely texted me and when he does their just voice chats sharing some songs he sang." you heard taerae chuckling on the other end

"oh he must've done that after meeting with that new vocal trainer." new vocal trainer?!

"huh?" taerae once again laughed, "he didn't tell you? he hired his own vocal trainer, they've apparently worked with huge artists."

you understood that it was his job to sing but he wasn't meeting up because of this? you didn't know why but your heart starting beating quickly, worried over matthew losing interest in you

"oh...okay. thanks for telling me taerae." you hung up.

the next hour you got a call from matthew, you were thrilled but still side eyeing him

"hey matt." you said, he noticed your lack of enthusiasm right away. "what's wrong?"

you sighed, "i heard you were getting trained by a new vocal trainer, is that why you've haven't asked to go on any dates?"

"i know and i'm sorry we haven't honey. i'll cancel my training tomorrow to make time for you. your always my first priority and i'm sorry for neglecting you."

kim taerae

you and taerae were walking in the park together, promotions had just wrapped up and the first he thing was call you to ask if you wanted to meet up, of course you agreed!

he was telling you about all the new friends he recently made while at the music shows, it made you proud to see taerae living out his long time dream of becoming a singer

but just as you were about to speak, someone else called out taerae's name from afar

you noticed that taerae smiled at his name being called. his cute dimples popping out right away

"taerae! it's such a coincidence that were both at the park!" the person exclaimed, taerae giggled, "right?"

as they continued talking, you felt as if you were absent since he didn't even say anything to you, it wasn't until you introduced yourself as taerae's partner that the person acknowledged your existence

"oh. hi." was all they said to you before returning to their conversation with taerae

and after that it became a date with those two with you as the third wheel, just trailing behind them as if this wasn't your date with taerae

taerae seemed really happy to talk with them so you didn't want to barge into their conversation, but it still hurt you how taerae was ignoring you

you couldn't take it anymore and tapped your boyfriend's shoulder. he turned and faced you

"i'm heading home, something urgent happened to my sister." you lied, taerae tried to stop you but you were already far gone

you began walking to the nearby station to head home. just as you were about to enter the train, you heard someone shouting at you from behind

"(name)! (name)!" you could immediately recognize the voice to be taerae's. you were hesitant to speak to him

"please don't go, i know nothing happened to your sister. i'm sorry for ignoring you, i admit it's my fault." he said

"i understand that taerae but you barely spoke to me after your friend noticed you. i was really looking forward to spend some time together."

"i know, please tell me whatever i can do make up for this. i love you so much, i can't imagine a life without you."

shen ricky

you were hanging out at the dorms with the members, ricky had invited you since he wanted you to be there as they were going to watch that reality show you've been telling him all about

the lights dimmed and the show played on the screen, everyone was coddled up in blankets with you cuddled up next to ricky

but you noticed that ricky's phone would continuously brighten as he received a notification on wechat. you didn't think too much of it at first but it got to the point where every second it would occur

even gyuvin began to yell at ricky to get his phone or leave it in his shared bedroom

eventually ricky checked it, a smile tugged at his lips reading the notification

curiousity got the best of you as you couldn't even focus on the show playing, your mind filled with thoughts of the worst. you knew ricky would never do anything like cheating but your naturally an overthinker

just then, ricky got up to pick up a call. making the members sigh in relief that they wouldn't have to deal with the notifications during the show

instead of staying in your spot you went to investigate and caught ricky speaking to someone in mandarin. you heard him chuckling and pacing around his dorm room

but before you could return to your spot, the door swung open and you were met with a confused ricky

"what are you doing here?" he asked

"who were you speaking to?" you replied, completely ignoring his question

"oh it was just a friend! they arrived back to shanghai and wanted me to know."

you were still unsure, "but they were texting you a lot when we were watching the show."

"they were telling me every detail of their trip but then decided to call me instead." the way ricky calmly explained the situation made you feel much more at ease. he even showed you their conversation and translated everything

"oh..i was just overthinking the situation." you shyly responded. he ruffled your hair and chuckled

"we tell each other everything right? i don't want you to think that something has come between us."

kim gyuvin

you've noticed that gyuvin was posting on his story a lot, most of them including someone you've never seen before. most of their stories consisted of their hangouts and selfies of them together

at first you didn't mind it but gyuvin gradually began replying slower to your texts or taking hours to even read them, sometimes he'd even read them but not reply. but whenever he did read them, you'd see that he posted on his story with that same person

jealousy got the best of you, how come he couldn't make time to message you but hang out with this person nearly everyday?

not to mention that gyuvin has never acted like this before. he always replies to your messages quickly and didn't just leave you on seen for hours on end

in response to this behaviour, you just stopped messaging him or even contacting him. it was totally out of character for you to do this but this was what you thought was the best decision

and before you knew it, you were getting bombarded with texts from your boyfriend, continuously asking why you haven't texted him and what you were up to, it made you smile

but you weren't responding to them like he did. you thought that was the end and shut your phone off, not even an hour later he called you. you couldn't decline it and picked it up

"hey, why haven't you responding to my text messages? i miss youuuu."

"why haven't YOU been messaging me as often?" you replied

"what do you mean?" is he trying to act like this past week hasn't been him ignoring you for something else?

"don't act coy, i saw the stories you posted with someone else when we've haven't seen each other in so long. have you been purposely not replying to my texts?"

"of course not! they were studying abroad in australia and recently returned to korea so i've been wanting to catch up with them. i'm sorry if you got the wrong idea though babe. if you want, i can cancel all my plans next week to dedicate it for you, and only you."

"i would love that."

park gunwook

at lunch time you were planning on heading to gunwook's homeroom to see if he was available, but he unexpectedly wasn't there

you approached one of his friends and asked but they informed you that gunwook had actually left early

you did a whole circle around the school but still couldn't find your boyfriend. this was odd since gunwook was always waiting for you in his homeroom so you two could eat lunch together and just spend time together

you thought he was busy playing soccer in the field so you went outside, but to your surprise, gunwook was with someone else

as you got a bit closer you saw that they were sitting on a bench, giggling with one another. you noticed how the other person nudged gunwook's shoulder as they were laughing at something

it made your heart sting for no reason, gunwook always dedicated his lunch time to you, he would've told you beforehand if he was going to be with someone else

the only thing you could do was watch from afar, you weren't being replaced, right?

but just as you were going to head back inside, you heard gunwook call your name

"oh great.." you whispered. he began running after you and catched up to you in a few seconds, soccer really does help with his fast pace

"what are you doing here?" his adorable grinned showed

"uh, nothing really, i was just looking for you."

"ah, i see! i was showing around my friend who recently transferred to our school. we went to middle school together and haven't seen each other in a while."

suddenly all the jealousy you had evaporated as you worried over nothing

"oh okay! i'm glad you two met again!"

"me too! but i promise tomorrow we can spend lunch time together. i'm sorry for not telling you beforehand." gunwook could never fail to make you smile

"deal!"

han yujin

you and yujin were in the same homeroom class which meant you could see your boyfriend more often in school, so you thought that when you had a project to do in class, yujin would choose you as his partner. but that wasn't the case at all

he ended up working with someone who you had a bad past with, that person was never nice to you and had a crush on yujin for a while before you two began dating. they got even more angry when they found out about your relationship

after that day, each time you would ask to walk home together or head out to get food at lunch, he would decline to be with them and work on the project

before you knew it, jealousy began brewing inside of you. you understood that there was a project they had to complete but even after the project was completed, they continued to hang out.

it got to the point where yujin would stop walking home with you and instead with them. they were enjoying it too, giving you smirks whenever they left together. you felt neglected by your own boyfriend

after that you gave up on trying to get your boyfriend's attention. you stopped messaging, calling or speaking to him in school.

yujin noticed this and tried multiple times to talk to you but you would leave class early and head to the academy instead of straight home

one day yujin couldn't handle it and approached you before you could leave.

"can we talk?" he asked. his tone sounded serious so you agreed, he took you out to the hallway where it became a ghost town

"why have you stopped speaking to me? do you know how much i missed seeing you?"

you sighed, "i don't know, it seemed that you were pretty happy speaking with them instead and going home with them."

yujin then realized what you were talking about. you were jealous, he giggled and held your hand

"i'm sorry for ignoring you. they kept asking if we could go places together but i didn't know how you felt."

"so will you walk home with me today instead?" you crossed your arms playfully. he looked down and smiled, then nodding

"yes. from now on."

[meenawrites]

Seo Yul Deep Dive - Part 1

Well, since my class ended early and I have 20 min to kill, why not.

SO Seo Yul.

First off, I think he's a fantastic second male lead, specifically because he's more complex than just being a secondary love interest to bring drama to the main couple. He's not at all, in fact he's the opposite of that.

Seo Yul is everything all the adults wanted Jang Uk to be in terms of obedience, principles, and morals. He is upright with a strict moral compass, obedient to his elders, and is prone to agonizing over what the right thing to do is, especially once Naksu enters the picture.

He is the foil against which Jang Uk is being measured.

It would have been quite easy and probably acceptable to just make him one dimensional and have him be there mainly to pursue Naksu and be another obstacle in the way of our main couple, but they didn't do that AT ALL! And I'm glad they didn't. In fact, Seo Yul is one of Jang Uk's dearest friends and he cares about him a lot and vice versa continuously throughout the run of the show.

Seo Yul's love for Naksu, or lingering love from his romanticized memories of his time in Danhyangeok serve to further Seo Yul's own character development as well as highlight just why Jang Uk is actually a better romantic partner for Naksu.

The way they love her is very different. I'm not trying to discount Seo Yul's love for Naksu in any way, I think he definitely does and did love her, but he is someone who is incredibly committed to his principles and to following the rules; it's just how he's constructed himself across his life. So Naksu's very existence throws him completely off balance. On the one hand, he's so glad the girl he once loved and thought would never see again is alive. On the other hand, everything he's been taught and everything he believes in is screaming at him to kill her, that her existence as a soul shifter is not right and cannot be allowed to continue. Yet she is also giving his best friend, Jang Uk, everything he's ever wanted–she is making him HAPPY. So Seo Yul is just kind of going back and forth in his agony over what to do. He feels a great sense of responsibility because he believed he was the only one who knew her identity for a while, and he's generally relied on by the adults in his life like Park Jin and Heo Yeom to kind of be their sword and do the right thing.

Jang Uk on the other hand (as I've seen described in a post somewhere) is more loyal to people than he is to principles, whereas Seo Yul leans a bit more towards the opposite.

So for Jang Uk, he's willing to bend his morals or defy what everyone around him says is wrong out of loyalty to the people he cares about, and Naksu quickly becomes one of those people to him. Like she tells him, everyone has always wanted her dead; no one has ever actually attempted to save her. And I think that strikes deep into Jang Uk's heart and he makes a decision very early on that he will be the one to protect her, and he accepts any collateral damage that comes with it.

Where Seo Yul is sitting and agonizing over the principle of Naksu's existence, all Jang Uk is thinking is how he's going to protect her and keep her by his side. There's no question in his mind, no moral quandary about it. He is as loyal to her as he is to Seo Yul or Park Danggu, or Maidservant Kim–some of the most important people in his life.

In essence, Jang Uk is the type of male lead who would let the world burn for the person he loves while Seo Yul would be willing to make the sacrifice if it meant saving the world.

I don't know if either is necessarily better as an attitude, and I don't feel qualified to comment on that. But Jang Uk's attitude is why he is better of a romantic partner for Naksu, because she needs someone like that, to feel like someone will love her to such an extent. She's been betrayed and discarded and used so many times across her life that she needs and wants that kind of unconditional love–chosen unconditional love, I should say. Because Jang Uk CHOOSES to be loyal to her no matter what.

This stark difference between Jang Uk and Seo Yul really comes to a head in the conversation they have (can't remember the episode) that goes something like this:

Seo Yul: We have a duty to protect the world from monsters. [referencing soul shifters and citing what he's been told his whole life]

Jang Uk: But we can also protect the monsters from the world.

I'm totally paraphrasing because I don't have time to go look up the quote, but yeah.

Underlying this conversation, they're both really talking about Naksu, but I'm not sure how aware both of them are that are each referencing her.

This continues on later, once Seo Yul has kind of finally made the decision to let them be, to let Naksu be happy because he does really want that for her. He was even planning on whisking her away to Seo Fortress to protect her and to take responsibility for her which weighs heavily on his shoulders. So we know he cares about her a great deal, maybe even more than his principles, which is what puts him in such mental agony in the first place.

I'm really glad actually that Seo Yul and Naksu got to have a closure conversation near the end of Part 1 (even if it all went to shit after) because they had so much history that needed to be addressed.

This conversation was really a turning point for Yul (again before the tragedy of the last episode) because he had finally made his peace with disregarding some of his principles that have been drilled into him and that he's held onto steadfastly for so long in favor of both his friends' happiness. His loyalty to people superseded his loyalty to his principles.

But then the tragedy happens. And not only does his worst fear come true that Naksu will run wild and cause havoc upon his world, but it comes with a huge price. Danggu and Choyeon's happiness is ruined, many people are killed by her hand or injured, and worst of all, Jang Uk dies on her sword.

Just when he's finally made peace within himself, it all falls apart, and he interprets it as the world telling him that he was wrong. That he should have intervened, done something, even if that meant killing Naksu. That he should have been more pro-active. That everyone else was right, and he should have done something about the monster.

He's a very subtle but very interesting character, especially when contrasted with Jang Uk.

He puts a lot of pressure on himself (possibly an attitude adopted because of other people's expectations of him growing up as the only Seo heir but we don't really know) and tends to take on everything quietly. He loves very deeply, and you can see it in the way he interacts with all the people he considers dear to him. He's very thoughtful and considerate and is always thinking of others at his own expense. His love for Naksu and for Jang Uk only added complexity to his character, and I absolutely love him. I think he's one of the highlights of the show.

I have to go to class but I will return for my thoughts on Seo Yul in part 2.

Let me know what you guys think or if I missing anything you thought was important!

[shadowsandsunset]

I wish nothing but good things for Oliver Stark and Lou Ferrigno Jr.

They gave us such an authentic, gentle, tender experience. I've watched the clip of that kiss several dozen times now.

Oliver, especially, has been amazing in his interviews and social media posts, empathetic and honest and sweet. I don't know his sexuality and I don't speculate in real people's sexualities, but regardless he seems like a true ally. He seems to Get It.

As someone who came out later in life** it really touches my heart what they're doing.

9-1-1 has always seemed to try to do good by their queer characters and I really appreciate that.

Hen and Karen have always been a fantastic and very real feeling example of a wlw relationship.

This show is doing amazing. I wish nothing but good and happy things for the cast and crew who make this happen.

**Under the cut is my coming out/self acceptance story if you're interested.

Tw: repression, self harm, drug use, shitty relationships both familial and romantic.

I tried to come out as a teenager in the early 2000s after I kissed a girl for the first time. It did not go well.

My mother was a complicated woman and she loved me very much, but when I told her I was bi (I prefer pan now but at the time I didn't have that word) she told me it was a phase and that she was disappointed, that she would always love me but that it was wrong in the eyes of God and she couldn't accept it.

Disappointing my mother was worse than her being angry. It felt like my heart was carved out of my chest. I feel like if she had been angry or openly cruel I could have fought back, but her sadness destroyed me. I was 16 then and I continued to live at home until I was 24. I'm in my mid/late 30s now.

So I repressed that part of myself for well over a decade and spent a lot of time depressed and miserable. I self harmed and did A LOT of drugs. I'm clean now except for super occasional weed use. I have a lot of scars from self harm.

My mom died several years ago and it wasn't until after her death that I allowed myself to even think about it, any of it. I was in a relationship with a man for eight years that was loving but he was an alcoholic and I had to walk on eggshells around him because of his mental health struggles; he was emotionally abusive but in a way that was only apparent in hindsight. I thought that my relationship with him was as good as I was going to get. We broke up not long after my mom died.

The only family member I am out to is my older sister, who has been amazing and accepting and loves me completely. Without her support I would be lost.

I have now dated/hooked up with women, men, nb and trans people. I have explored my own gender identity (it's whatever, I don't feel like a woman despite having the female equipment and appearing female in body, I feel pretty masculine but not like a man either, and I don't have strong opinions on pronouns, but I feel like I fail at femininity and masculinity in equal measure so I call myself genderqueer. I don't have any desire to take hormones or have any surgeries, I just want to be a person without having to perform gender).

I live in a conservative small city in the US south and I feel disconnected from the wider queer community. I don't know how to bridge that gap. There is a small queer community here but you can't really be openly out and be safe.

I'll be going to my first pride event this June. I'm excited and terrified because I don't feel like I'm queer enough or The Right Kind of queer, which is such a stupid stress to have, but I don't have many friends to talk about this with and I am hoping to get out there and make some but I'm nervous. I'm socially awkward and kinda weird. I'm also single and trying to mingle, lol.

I like who I am now but it was an incredibly difficult road to get to this place. I'm still on that journey, and maybe I always will be but that's ok. I'm finally myself.

[kanmom51]

Thanks for all your work this past week! I was thinking that Letter really is the song that Jimin said he would want to sing to his love when he answered the question back in 2016. We've always thought of Serendipity and that's certainly a good one, but Letter is so real and personal, I think Serendipity is now the preface and Letter is the forever.

On that note, I've been wondering if the Jimin we see today - confident and so sexy - would have existed if the relationship with JK didn't happen. JK always told/tells him how beautiful, cute, handsome he is, and has beautiful eyes etc. Plus the confidence a great physical relationship can give someone doesn't hurt lol.

One other side note, do you remember that concert when JK said he didn't sleep the night before because he was nervous about something he was going to do? I can't find it but it felt like something really big, like a proposal? Sorry if I missed the answer somewhere.

Thanks again and I love your page, it's my encyclopedia.

Took me a while but I got to you @ftmom1060, lol.

Will start from the end. I think you mean JK said he was nervous so he didn't sleep, not that he was nervous about something he was going to do? What I do remember are these:

I love your take on Letter, as in:

"Serendipity is now the preface and Letter is the forever."

Love this!!

As for your thoughts about JM and who he is today. I think it's easy to assume that JM without being part of BTS since 2012 (pre-debut), and most definitely without having JK by his side ever since, would not have turned out the same as the JM we know today.

It's a given. The people in our lives as we are growing up and maturing have a profound impact on who we become, to go or to bad. And besides JK we also had other people around him with influence that impacted who JM is today.

As for JK, we have his early years at times hurtful teasing (not only JK's for that matter), and we have JK since 2015 doing everything he can to erase all the damage and uplift JM with compliments and kind words and support and defending him and speaking up for him with the others as well.

I am positive that JK's love, adoration, has a lot to do with JM's confidence today, but we do need to remember that our self image comes from within, and even when our loved ones flood us with compliments, if we don't believe this on the inside, it helps, but it's not enough to repair our own self image. So, yes, it obviously helped, I mean, who of us wouldn't want to be complimented constantly, in front of the whole world. Of course it had an effect on him. All I'm saying is that it had to be an internal process as well.

And of course, finding happiness, finding someone you love to bits and adores you right back, being loved by someone like that, it also gives you a sense of confidence.

It definitely helps to know you are loved. It definitley helps to be showered with constant compliments. It helps you build up your confidence, but the initial work has to come from within.

We heard from JM how he struggled through the pandemic. JK was by his side to love him and support him. But at the end of the day it's an internal process he had to go through to get out of the place he was in. I like to look at the lyrics of Like crazy:

This will break me This is gonna break me (Break me) No, don’t you wake me (Wake me) I wanna stay in this dream, don't save me Don't you try to save me (Save me) I need a way we (Way we) I need a way we can dream on (On, on, on)

That part there. It says it all. It's about being lost but not wanting the help offered by others to be found, not when you are not yet ready for it yourself. Once you are ready for it, that is when you will accept that help and help yourself as well.

So yes, JM most likely wouldn't be who he is today if not JK and what they are and mean to each other. But in saying that, let's not underestimate the work that JM has done on himself, how far he has come to be the confident mature young man that he is today.