#but i'll throw energy into it anyway
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brynnmclean · 6 months ago
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saw a post questioning shipping Senua and Thórgestr and started to reblog it with a tag novel-- felt weird about doing that since this is lengthy and potentially derailing, so making my own post instead. Spitballing under the cut:
First off, any time someone is like, "the real reason people ship this is because they find the dude attractive," this is SO funny to me as someone who doesn't find men attractive IRL and has fiercely loved Senua since I played the first game, like-- actually I find the dynamic between those two characters to be compelling and interesting precisely because of all the baggage between them re: their backgrounds, the rough (put mildly!) beginning of their relationship, all the things they don't talk about, and them finding a common enemy/common ground to work with. The explicit parallels between them stated in-game scratched an itch in my brain. The minute they pointed out the dark rot on his arm, it was like, "oh! hello there! NOW I'm interested in whatever your whole deal is" for me. Also, idk man, I too would follow Senua around after she knocked me into the dirt and then showed me a way to fight the giants that I very much wanted to fight instead of appease.
The idea that Thórgestr was part of the Orkney Raid that killed and mutilated Dillion is VERY interesting food for thought, even if I don't personally have that headcanon (surely there are more viking raiding groups than just the Bjorg). I think the Furies or the Shadow said something similar about Fargrimr (his kin murdered yours, you shouldn't save him, etc.) so I completely get that line of thought, but I think the game left it ambiguous enough that it's up for interpretation. Would I read fic with that premise? Yeah, I'd check that out. Could Senua forgive Thorgestr if his people were involved? Sounds fun to explore.
If (ha, when?) I write fic, I'd have to think more about it especially wrt timelines, like when did the Bjorg start specifically raiding for slaves for giant food sacrifices vs. killing people for resources and wealth? How far off are we from the old gods "dying" and the volcano erupting? Was it indeed a different group of raiders who made a deal with Zynbel, attacked Senua's home, and made the sacrifice at that time to Hela?
At the very least, I think there's a time jump between the end of Hellblade I and the beginning of Hellblade II since Senua wasn't alone on that slave ship and at least one of the (brief) survivors knew her by name. I wouldn't mind exploring that gap of time, too.
In any case I do agree that it would take a VERY long time for Senua to consciously catch feelings for anyone let alone Thorgestr with all their collective baggage. The idea of them having a relationship beyond friendship in the far off future of an AU where he survives is the only one that can make sense in my brain, personally. It would take time! Time they didn't get in the game! But I think there are a lot of different roads that could take, and some of them might be healthier than others. Shipping them certainly isn't forgetting or excusing what happened to Dillion-- or even mutually exclusive from still shipping Senua and Dillion. Or, frankly, also shipping Senua and Astridr, because I can see that ship too.
One of the nice things about all the details Ninja Theory didn't expand upon and that they left that ending so open is that the sky's the limit. I'm VERY interested in seeing fandom tackle this game as we get farther from the initial release.
#kate plays hellblade#senua x thorgestr#a friend did laugh at me recently and say there's always a weird guy i latch onto and i laughed back and said i'm a boy in my brain#i think i've felt that way forever and it's still true. i DO gravitate toward male characters#especially ones who are a bit starry-eyed over their female counterparts#anyway that's not what this post is about#it's more of me throwing thoughts out into the ether because i don't have the energy or time to write fic yet#but i am Thinking About It#what happens after the story left off? what if we changed ONE THING and gave them more time#i stopped using accent marks midway through this sorry i'm typing on a computer. my phone would catch them but alas.#i can't remember my video games tag#senua#thorgestr#hellblade#senua's saga#i'm really just excited to talk fannish things about this one#the first game was so neat and tied up that i felt no fannish inclinations beyond loving the game#but there's SO MUCH ROOM HERE with this second one#delightful#i'll read all the AUs even the sad ones#when it comes to thorgestr and senua i think thorgestr fell first and pretty hard but he doesn't talk about it until senua starts opening u#i really think those two are made for a glacially slow burn#maybe not if she becomes the tyrant seer. loved and feared.#could be quick and very unhealthy. ALSO compelling to me!#senua's saga spoilers#to be safe#these tags are about as long as the post. i'd better quit while i'm ahead.#hertan writing tag
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iraprince · 9 months ago
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Hiii, i love your stuff and kinda from a distance really look up at you for, in my perception, being able to express yourself without giving a fuck. Thats sick dude, Im so so afraid, of absolutely everything, its nice to think like i might grow into someone less apologetic of my existence. Nice to see people just being yknow
hey, thank you, this is really really nice. the secret that is probably not a secret is that i am also deeply afraid a lot of the time lmao -- but less than i used to be, and in ways that feel less stifling and self-suffocating, if that makes sense.
like, it used to be "i'm scared that if i express myself the way i want to, everyone will find me obnoxious, so let's just sand those edges down to be safe" -- now my fears are more like "now that i'm expressing myself in a way that feels natural and real, i'm afraid that it's all stupid/vapid/not worthwhile or meaningful" (<- specifically abt my art) or "i'm happy that i talk and act the way i want to now, but what if it makes me impossible to befriend," etc etc etc. which still feels bad and puts me in a funk a lot of the time but at least it's a fear that comes After/in reaction to doing stuff, rather than a fear that STOPS me from doing stuff, you know? like, it's evolved into a kind of fear that's less in my way.
anyway. i believe you'll experience something like this, because wanting to grow is the first step of growing. the fact that u hope or wish for something different means you're already on your way. to fewer fucks!! or at least distributing the fucks u give in a way that serves u better
#stuff like accepting that i'm reserved and i'm not very accessible via messages.#or that my online tone isn't very bubbly and it's weird and uncomfortable to force it.#i stop letting fears about that shape my behavior ('i'll look mean or snotty so let's force markers of Friendliness to avoid that!!') -#- and instead act the way i want to and then trade it in for new fears that come After the action.#also a good reminder to give urself is that if ur fear is abt how other ppl perceive u (as 90% of mine is personally)#u really... can't actually control that. and being very very anxious abt it all the time is usually ur brain throwing a tantrum abt not--#--having that control. bc it is understandably very scary that u don't have that control#as much as it sucks + is terrifying the truth is the only thing u can do is ask urself 'am i behaving in a way that i'm proud of'#'am i behaving in a way that's in alignment w my values + what i think is important'#bc if the answer to that is yes and somebody hates u or is deeply offended by ur existence anyway. well. literally not ur problem#but obv being at peace w that is way way easier said than done + requires tons of practice and will take. probably. years. which is fine#i am stuck with myself. i can either contort myself forever trying to be someone everyone will like and find totally nonthreatening and-#inoffensive and in the process exhaust myself totally and never feel safe or natural myself. OR#i can say okay. so i am a kind of prickly guy with stern and drab speech patterns and close to no social energy. and i think i can still be#-sexy and fun this way. and it is up to other ppl to figure out if they can agree w me on that#ANYWAY enough rambling for now. just another one of those things i think abt a lot so i have a lot of ready-made sentences abt it in mind
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mirabel-on-a-bicycle · 3 months ago
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hey maybe I'll just stop watching shows from now on :) maybe that's an idea. never love anything and all that
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todayisafridaynight · 8 months ago
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no ones ever gonna understand how much i love daigo doin this stupid shit after dissolving the tojo
#snap chats#is this a gaiden spoiler. its been like five months catch up you nerds#ANYWAYYYYY NOO I LOVE HIM ....... this whole bit is like four seconds long but i love it so much#i just reminded myself i should probably make gaiden/y8 videos for daigo.. i'll make it a JP/ENG comp or somethn.. one day#not soon tho like its barely anything since he's not in those games Long At All but still. im lazy 💀#excuse me while i gush about daigo for twenty minutes now because hehee HE'S SO CUTE I CAN'T GET OVER IT#this is literally the middle aged equivalent of going yippee like YOU CAN TELL HE'S SO RELIEVED IT'S SO CUTE#got the energy of a student with crippling anxiety after they somehow get through giving a presentation without throwing up#AND his lil smile ......... thank you gaiden you made me wanna eat drywall with daigo's sad puppy dog eyes about kiryu#and then immediately made up for it a minute later#sorry i keep scrolling up to look at him and i love him so much. what if i threw up#i dont like using babygirl lightly but this is actually the most Babygirl frame of him ever ive decided#thats my boy .... i love my boy so much ..... he's so cute ... come so far in life congratulations king ..... ily ...#him lookin up at the sky for a minute just to breathe i know he thankin god for the fact he somehow isnt dead yet#im gonna ignore the fact all of this was for naught so i dont bash my head against a wall anyway stan daigo#im gonna be sick i love him so much#if i redraw this later shut up. i love him...#this is why i try not to look at cutscenes anymore cause when i do i feel my brain being put in a microwave and start to melt#its not my fault i love my guys so much .... ok bye i have work to do ....#and then when i finish that work i can go back to loving my guys YAAAAAY !!!!!!!
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zazikels · 4 months ago
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working on a gifset and can i just say phia saban the ACTRESS THAT YOU ARE:
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the sharp fucking turn when he's like wubuwbwu its a lieeee, the withering looks she gave him. it was excellent.
#tbd#anti helaemond#i guess sorry lol#full offence but i would just throw myself into the godseye if helaena looked at me like that#anyway listen the show is trash and yeah x sucks and y sucks but like i know she channelled all the energy for this one#l'm so bitter about like the lack of helaegon and even saltier bc tom and phia tried to get scenes#they fucked like the worst moment of these two chars lives and didn't even let them share in a loss that only the two of them could fathom#but man i felt it here she was channelling it here ok that's all i can say#it was sooooo you come onto my balcony after you tried to kill my husband and now u try to lie to meee????#will anything come of this? no because condom and hiss are trash but like i am sorryyyyy for enjoying this but i'm not#it's all nonsense but i'm willing to take my CRUMB!!!#but yeah like to be clear: it's frustrating that she's relegated to this no taste for flying shit and i hate it so much#genuinely a disgusting thing to throw in there for a char who canonically loved nothing more than flying on her fucking dragon#bc if they are so determined for her to not wanna burn people there is literally everything to gain and nothing to lose#by having her fly around on dreamfyre just as a show of strength or scouting or anything#and faux feminist sara piss i'll never forgive you for your gross writing#like fucking hate show clownmond so much but like yeah she is his only option i agree#but i'm just going to enjoy this in isolation bc it was so cathartic after rr and a*mond continued to torture a fucking bedridden aegon#and an entire season of his fam treating him like shit#hotd spoilers
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moe-broey · 8 months ago
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Three of them
#fire emblem#feh#DIRECTLY INSPIRED by how sometimes i like to cheat in heroes journey and bring duo al/sharena LMFAOO#two of them and some other guy. idk when it happened it just integrated here.#world is a fuck born to tag along. this applies to BOTH moe and sharena i think.#it is so funny and so important to me actually that 'sometimes there's a third one' applies to both of them#anyways please please PLEASE read into the characterization in the poses bc i'm going to throw up. and cry#like fuck i'll do it for you actually LMFAO like moe is just silly. nosferatu ass. why do you sleep like that.#it doesn't like being touched a whole lot though. it's extremely picky about it. it's easier to hold a stuffed animal instead.#alfonse has a higher tolerance for touch but it's still situational. but when he touches he clings.#also. one hand gripping the plush goat ear. an acknowledgement of moe's boundaries.#and the other hand. lightly subconsciously holding on to a tuft of sharena's hair.#sharena has grown out of being super cuddly w alfonse but she will take any and every opportunity to 'steal body warmth'#she also directly mirrors him.#also i think whenever she shares a bed/sleeping area w someone she's a bed hog. she is pushing you off that thang#if you're not Willing to be smooshed by her. also. which is why alfonse is acting as a barrier here too LMFAO#like it's just a tiny doodle esp cause i didn't have the energy to do more but it made me ache so bad#that i threw up and exploded and died. badly.#fe alfonse#sharena#moe tag#summoner oc#my art
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catzy88 · 2 years ago
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i'm just saying, if this vgk vs. edm playoffs and the second draft pick beating the first draft pick doesn't revive the mceichel fandom (at least momentarily), we're beyond salvation 😭
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kirbyddd · 1 year ago
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barkbarkbark Riichi Book I's writing is like screeching chalkboard to my game designer's, translator's, and writer's ears all at once
it's got great concepts buried in there but it's in like the most anti-comprehension packaging conceivable
#what the hell is wrong with you#folks like you are the BANE of game designers everywhere#and game PLAYERS for that matter#THIS is the best strategy reference the English speaking world's got?#baddabingbaddaboom ladies and gentlemen#im about to make bank writing the West's first riichi primer that actually meets the standards of the modern analogue game industry#(which to be honest is abysmal right now the industry's in an insane 'text free' fad right now where every word is replaced with a symbol)#alright then im gonna set the new standard then#imma bout to do for Riichi Mahjong what i did for Ryuutama Traversées 🫸🤛#and for all the dudes at unpub who know how to design incredible games but dont know how to write instructions#alright sorry I'll calm down#but seriously i am gonna start throwing together an actually quality-controlled guide#cause every english resource ive found so far has been like this... inconsistent and full of holes and omissions in explanations#chiba talks about the game's strategic immaturity in the west... well it's got an even bigger gap of educational immaturity#anyways.... I'll toss a bit of effort that way#we'll see how far i take it#I'll either make a few loose articles or a fully fledged book. no in between#god i dont have the energy to make another book when i dont even know if Traversées is ever gonna see the light of day#100% complete full color layout and everything. publishing limbo is real and it's every bit as stupid and unnecessary as you think.#(my case is much simpler than most though cause im only working with two small publishers rather than a big corp)#but still. damn#anyways im so tempted to throw some of my rulebook magic at riichi while it's got my interest#not like i need to write a strategy tome the game just needs a professional quality introduction#don't make me do it i absolutely will do it#i did it for ryuutama when no one wanted to give a decent publication-quality localization for the supplements#and by garriot i will do it for riichi mahjong too if no one gives me a quality guide. i aint afraid of a global high strategy game#<- manic#(im not manic im just extremely restless having not been able to do any solid design work in a while and this book is getting me riled up)#cause it's like “i could write such a more coherent rulebook and HAVE written a more coherent rulebook. so why don't i do it again?”#the Disease is why. but maybe I'll give it a shot anyways if i get a second wind (i guess im otakaze right now harharharhar)
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raksh-writes · 10 months ago
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Somehow, after months of not moving a muscle, I managed to get off my ass and do some light stretching + a whole damn abs routine too, that I still have no idea how I got through it, I remember it being hard on Normal day, and now my whole body is feeling this little workout and I'm like?? WHo are you?
Now to keep it going, tho...
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violetsareblue-selfships · 1 year ago
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good morning!! <3
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mimsiical · 1 year ago
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i was reading this blog post about food + chronic illness management and the person was like “let’s talk about the two extremes -- extremely hungry and extremely full. both of these feel bad and we want to avoid them.” and i was like oh buddy. you have never been chronically hungry and i’m embarrassed to have read that sentence.
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neverendingford · 2 years ago
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#hmmmm. the game night was very underwhelming. I committed to playing Catan and then other people showed up and played smash bros#and ngl I kinda wanted to just throw in my cards and play smash bros instead#got called 'he' IMMEDIATELY by some dude so that was hmm and then someone noticed and was like 'let's all say our pronouns#and several dudes were visibly uncomfortable about saying pronouns and made jokes about it and were deliberately obtuse#so honestly pretty meh vibes overall. I really don't want to make a neckbeard gamer bro stereotype but ummmm. sorry those were the vibes#anyway not for me I think#also there was zero chaos energy at all. I need manic energy to feed off of#I did my best to sow a bit of chaotic fun and no one played off it either.#honestly just very boring. I lowkey shoulda stayed home#I learned what app people use to coordinate groups though. so I guess I'll look at that now. maybe find some other groups#the city I live is really is kind of a dead end though. so not a lot of opportunity. I'll keep hunting though#I just want to find wildly adhd people is that too much to ask. I need chaos and jokes and laughter and objects thrown through the air#I cannot take boring small town talk around a small table.#and like. I've met neckbeard gamer bros who I loved and got along with super well. they were mad adhd. but like. ugh. I can't stand boring#I can't stand calm. I need them to be hopped up on neurodivergence#I wish it were socially acceptable to get up and go 'sorry you're all very nice but you're very boring I'm going home now'#like. no offense but I hate it here bye#tag talk
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visionbuild · 2 years ago
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florida3exclamationpoints · 2 years ago
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I've been cleaning my Depression Room for the last 2 days and I'm still not done :) I just now cleaned out all of Venus' stuff and he died in August :) I'm gonna sleep without my sheets on the bed tonight bc im too tired to put them back on :) and idek if this is me getting better,,,,,,, bc im exhausted mentally from it,,,,, and I'm not hyperfixating on it even tho I wish I was bc then maybe I would go faster,,,,,,, I keep sitting down and staring and not being able to do anything :) and I'm so physically and emotionally exhausted from cleaning my room?????? Why?????
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todayisafridaynight · 2 years ago
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my *in-universe reason for why masato couldnt be in ishin longer is because he had to use the last of his Foreign Drugs for his second scene and since he couldnt get any more they had to cut him because he insisted on just standing without it and kept keeling over as a result
*in-universe being that ishin is a movie and theyre all actors for some reason
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furuu · 1 month ago
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꒰ ♡ ꒱ continuation of this drabble!
∘ʚ ♡ Sukuna's tiny blob form trembled slightly as he tested the new mouth he'd formed, frustrated that even this minor accomplishment felt like a monumental task in his current state. His jagged little mouth opened and closed a few times, as if trying to get used to the sensation. He could barely manage coherent speech, let alone a proper threat, and your oblivious, adoring expression didn’t make it any easier.
"I… I'll destroy you," he croaked again, though the words came out more like a tired sigh than a warning. His once menacing tone, feared by even the most powerful sorcerers, had been reduced to something far too soft, far too… pet-like.
You were still crouched next to him, your face hovering inches away from his small, squishy body. Instead of recoiling in fear or even acknowledging his so-called threat, you simply giggled, reaching out to stroke his markings with a tenderness that made Sukuna’s single eye twitch.
"You're doing so well!" you said with an amused smile. "Look at you, forming a mouth and everything! Such a big step for a little blob!"
If Sukuna could’ve scowled, he would’ve. He wasn't some infant learning how to speak; he was the King of Curses! And yet, here you were, treating him like a child taking their first steps. It was maddening. He opened his mouth to issue another threat, but the words caught in his throat as you gently cupped him in your hands, lifting him as if he were made of delicate glass.
He braced himself for the worst. Surely, he should have loathed this—being handled like a plush toy, pressed against your soft palms. But instead, a warmth spread through his small, cursed body, and for a fleeting moment, Sukuna felt something disturbingly close to comfort. He tried to shake it off, tried to remind himself that this was beneath him, but the softness of your hands made it difficult to focus on anything other than how… pleasant it felt.
You noticed his faint twitching and smiled down at him with that familiar, adoring look. "Poor thing, you're all squirmy now. Do you want to rest? Maybe you're still growing into your new form?"
Sukuna's pride bristled at your words, but he couldn't deny that he was feeling a strange sort of exhaustion. As much as he hated to admit it, regaining his cursed energy—even in small amounts—was taking a toll on him. He wasn’t used to being so… vulnerable. It was humiliating, but for the time being, he had no choice but to allow you to continue your unrelenting doting.
"I don’t… need your help," Sukuna muttered, his voice low and raspy. It wasn’t the mighty growl he wanted, but rather a tired grumble.
You gently placed him back onto the soft blanket you’d laid out for him earlier. He sank into the fabric, his tiny form almost disappearing into the folds. "Of course you don’t," you cooed, brushing your fingers lightly over his surface. "But I’m going to help anyway. You're just too cute."
"Cute…?" Sukuna repeated, as though the word had physically hurt him. "I’m… not… cute…"
You laughed again, a sweet sound that filled the room. "You are, though. Look at you. All tiny and grumpy." You leaned down to rest your chin on your hands, looking at him with a soft smile. "And you’re mine. So, I’m going to take care of you whether you like it or not."
Sukuna's singular red eye flickered with a flash of indignation. "I am not… yours. I am Ryomen Sukuna. The King of Curses!" he growled, though the effect was ruined by how much effort it took to speak. His tiny mouth barely moved, and instead of sounding intimidating, he came off more like a petulant child throwing a tantrum.
You tilted your head, clearly amused. "Ryomen, huh? Well, it looks like you need some rest. And maybe a snack. You didn’t eat much today."
"I don’t need food!" Sukuna snapped, or rather, squeaked. The tiny, high-pitched sound that came out of his mouth was anything but intimidating.
"Sure you don’t," you said with a grin, placing a small bowl of fruit beside him. "But just in case you change your mind, it’s here."
Sukuna huffed, turning his eye away from you in a weak attempt to regain some semblance of his former dignity. But you weren’t deterred. You sat back on the bed, watching him with that same affectionate look that had begun to chip away at the iron walls he had once built around his heart.
For a moment, there was silence. Sukuna closed his eye, trying to block out the warmth and comfort that your presence brought. He shouldn’t be feeling this way. He shouldn’t be letting you take care of him, not when he was supposed to be ruling over everything. Yet, despite his inner turmoil, the softness of the blanket, the gentle rise and fall of your breathing, and the warmth that surrounded him—it was hard to fight it all.
He peeked his eye open, watching you as you hummed a little tune to yourself, seemingly content just to be near him. It was strange. For so long, Sukuna had been feared, hated, and worshiped, but never… never had anyone cared for him like this. Not in a way that felt so genuine, so gentle.
He didn’t want to admit it, but a small part of him—one he would deny to his last breath—was growing attached to you. The way you handled him with such care, the way you spoke to him like he was a friend, not a monster. It was disarming, and Sukuna hated it… or at least, he wanted to hate it.
"You… are an idiot," Sukuna mumbled, his voice losing its edge, barely audible.
You blinked, surprised by the quietness in his tone. "What was that?"
He hesitated, then sighed, letting himself sink a little deeper into the blanket. "You’re… an idiot," he repeated, softer this time. "Caring for something that would destroy you without a second thought. Foolish human…"
You paused for a moment, looking at him with a gentle, knowing expression. Then, with a soft smile, you brushed your hand over his small form again. "Maybe I am," you said quietly, your voice filled with warmth. "But I think you’ve already had plenty of chances to destroy me. And yet, here we are."
Sukuna's lone eye flickered, narrowing slightly. "I’m just biding my time," he grumbled, though the threat lacked conviction. "When I regain my power…"
You laughed softly, cutting him off in the most disarming way. "Sure, sure. You’ll regain your power, and then what? Tear me apart? Somehow, I don’t think that’s going to happen."
"Don’t get cocky," Sukuna growled, trying to muster more force behind the words. But even he could hear how weak the threat sounded. His voice had lost the venom it once carried, softened by the strange, inexplicable comfort of your presence.
You tilted your head, smiling softly down at him. "Maybe it’s foolish of me, but I don’t think you’re as heartless as you want me to believe. If you were, you wouldn’t be letting me do this." Your fingers gently stroked his smooth surface, tracing the black markings that had once inspired fear in so many.
Sukuna twitched, both annoyed and begrudgingly soothed by the touch. "I could destroy you in an instant if I wanted to," he muttered, though he wasn’t even sure he believed it anymore.
You leaned closer, your expression warm and soft. "I know," you said, your voice gentle but firm. "But you won’t."
Sukuna fell silent, his single red eye watching you, as though searching for something—maybe a reason, maybe a flaw in your belief. But there was nothing. You were unwavering, and for the first time in his long, cursed existence, Sukuna found himself wondering if perhaps you were right.
Perhaps… just maybe… he wouldn’t.・₊﹆ɞ‧₊
taglist: @laraackerman @xyinparadise @katsukis-s @himboelover @lemonlimecrystal-blog
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