#but i'll still murder him myself if he tries anything

[several-ravens]

i've had enough of martin getting bullied for no reason and i'm happy that jonathan is too preoccupied by gertrude's laptop to do so

[auspicioustidings]

Firewatch 11

Summary: You just want to sleep, but Price needs you to calm down first.

Words: 2.8k

CW: Kidnapping, light bdsm

When Johnny tried to touch you, you only buried yourself into Simon and glowered at him. He looked wounded, pulling his hand back from where it had been poised to stroke your hair. None of them understood why you were reacting like that. You seemed back to yourself, but then it would stand to reason that you would be most scared of Simon. And yet now you were only too happy to be held by him. Only him.

As far as you were concerned it was a survival tactic. If you were always by Simon, none of them could kill you without going through him. And you weren’t really sure anyone could go through him. He seemed happy enough to play protector, thumb rubbing firm circles into your waist and teeth nibbling at the tip of your ear every so often. You suspected he was probably looking at the others when he did it, gloating. Good. 

“You need to eat sweetheart” he purred into your ear.

“Mm, don’t tell me what to do Simon.”

“Bratty even when you’re half dead.”

“Bossy even when I’m being nice.”

He chuckled at that. If he were a better man perhaps he would feel bad that Price, Johnny and Gaz were at the kitchen island looking like grumpy little puppies. As he was not a better man he only shot them a lopsided grin. Why shouldn’t he be happy? You were safe, your temperature was back to normal, you were in his arms and letting his fingers sink into the fat of your waist, letting his teeth lazily graze the skin of your ear. The fear of losing you gave way to how you fit so fucking perfectly against him. He couldn’t help but imagine how else you might fit together, how perfectly warm and wet and tight you’d be around him. Fuck would you let him take you to his bed? He didn't even need to make love to you just yet if you were still stubborn about everything, just hold you, feel your heartbeat and the warmth of your skin proving you were alive. 

“Like you nice, should give it to me more often” he said with his hand testing the waters, squeezing the meat of your thigh dangerously close to your ass. 

“Don't get used to it, can't imagine it'll be a frequent occurrence.”

You felt the squeeze and your body gave a valiant attempt at arousal, but it was like molasses, sticky and slow moving in your exhaustion. You didn't mind it, if anything it was sort of nice. His chuckle betrayed his own exhaustion a little, the raspiness of it pointing to him having had a very stressful day. 

“Then let me enjoy it while it lasts hm? Eat something for me sweetheart.”

Stupid man being stupidly charming. You didn't really feel like eating, you had went past hungry at some point in the cold and now you just wanted to stay cuddled up to someone you were steadfastly believing was safe and go to sleep. He kept jostling you though, a nip to your ear, a squeeze of your thigh or a finger tracing your spine keeping you awake from how it caused little thrills through you. 

“You make it.”

“Hm?”

“I'm not eating whatever they made. You make it. Or give me something that's sealed.”

Well that was an alarming thing to hear you mumble softly against him. The smug happiness of having you favour him was rapidly turning into concern. What exactly did you think they were going to do to you? Did you think they would poison you or were you just refusing to eat anything from them out of pettiness?

“Why?”

“I'll make it myself then” you grumbled, pushing away from him even though every fibre of you hated it.

Oh he did not like that if the growl was anything to go by. Simon stood with little warning, an arm banding under your ass to keep you wrapped around him. You tensed, knowing he was going over to the others and not being sure you really wanted to be near them. Price maybe, he had been kind, he was asleep when Johnny and Kyle had been discussing your murder. Second murder you supposed. But you couldn't really be sure he wasn't in on it. Then again you couldn't be sure Simon wasn't, but you didn't have much choice but to believe him. 

You were placed lightly on the kitchen island and he took a small step back, forcing you out into the open. You had felt a lot less vulnerable wrapped up in him, face buried in his shoulder. Your skin prickled with the gazes you felt on you. 

“I was only gone a few days, what exactly happened in that time that's got you not willing to eat anything they've made?”

“What? That true little bird? You are not starving yourself, you're already in enough trouble for running off like that” Price said, trying to temper himself.

He was off balance with this whole situation. You had seemed on the edge of giving in before he went to sleep (which he now felt incredibly guilty about) and then he wakes up to you gone? And now after letting them rescue you, Simon shows up and you are suddenly only willing to speak to him. You hadn't been refusing to eat before. You had been a brat about it sure, but you hadn't refused. 

You looked at Price, not sure how to untangle your feelings towards him. He could not be in on it, surely not. If he had wanted to kill you he could have smothered you while you were in his bed. Johnny spoke and while you didn't mean to, you flinched. Everybody certainly noticed.

“We dinnae ken what's happening in that bonnie– I… baby what's wrong?”

“Back off Johnny.”

“I didnae dae anything!”

While you were glad Simon was telling him off you wished he'd just let you cling to him again. This wasn't a conversation you wanted to have right now, you just wanted to sleep for 16 hours in a warm bed. You'd probably take a warm body in it if it wasn't someone who had openly spoken about killing you. 

“Everything seemed fine the other night luv, you were getting along.”

You did glance at Kyle, seeing him look alarmed at how you froze up when he spoke the same way you had for Johnny. He was right, you were getting along. It had been almost peaceful, you had been almost calm. Maybe that had been what they had been waiting for. 

“Simon.”

You said his name as a soft plead, hoping you could get out of this conversation. You didn't want to say it out loud. You didn't want to make it real. Because goddamnit you kind of liked them. You liked teasing Johnny when Dosia was horrible to him, you liked watching Kyle cook. It was so stupid of you to fall for it, to find yourself liking them. Please let Price be outside of it, please let him want you alive. Heartbreak twice over was already enough. 

There was a stunned sort of silence at your little plea. It wasn't really like you at all, not the you they had been getting to know. These men knew one another well enough that they could each tell that nobody knew what was going on here. This wasn’t you being angry or scared that they were keeping you here. This was something else, and none of them knew why. Price moved into your eye line and you lowered your gaze stubbornly to the ground, but you didn’t seem the same level of upset as you were with Soap or Gaz. 

His brow furrowed and he crooked a finger under your chin, making you tilt your head up and look at him. He could feel how agitated Simon had gotten at you saying his name like that, but he also knew that he trusted him with you. He trusted he would make this right. So he stayed where he was, leaning against the kitchen counter and crossing his arms to ensure he wouldn’t reach out while Price tried to fix whatever had went so horribly wrong.

“What’s going on?”

“Failed escape attempt, obviously.”

“Try again little bird.”

Oh, he was using that voice again. That one that oozed authority and made you want to push and push and push until he snapped. Only now you didn’t know what that meant. Part of you hoped he would just backhand you, show you his true colours so you could get over whatever this ridiculous feeling was. Another part badly wanted him to take some sort of control, force your racing thoughts to calm. Fuck you were demented.

“You wanted me to stay put, you should have clipped my wings.”

“That what you want?”

Maybe. Maybe you just wanted them to stop fucking toying with you. You were exhausted, fear and misery had drained you and you just wanted to give in, but your already incredibly wounded pride would really rather he made you give in so you could pretend you had fought it.

“Does it matter what I want John?”

He considered you for a while, the world holding its breath in anticipation. You didn’t realise how tense you really were until he moved his hand to the nape of your neck, tugging you off of the counter, fingers and thumb gripping with enough pressure that it loosened you all at once. The others didn’t intervene as he marched you out of the kitchen and into his office, the click of the lock causing a full body shiver. He was behind you and you just let your eyes softly unfocus on the wall as he bent slightly to speak right into your ear.

“I didn’t want to do this right now. You need rest. But you’re too wound up for that aren’t you little bird? Won’t even eat if we can’t get you calmed down.”

His foot slid between yours, pushing gently to get your legs to widen as he pressed on your neck, bending you over the desk. You didn’t have resistance left to give as you settled on your elbows. His hand running down your spine made you sigh. 

“This… it doesn’t change anything” you said softly as tugged on your sweatpants, getting access to the bare swell of your ass.

“Course not. Bet’s still on, and I still intend to win.”

–

Gaz couldn’t sleep. He was half tempted to do what Soap had done and sneak into Ghost’s bed for some form of bloody comfort. He hadn’t seen you since Price had taken you into that office, although they all knew exactly what would have happened in there. He knew you were due punishment for running away like that, but it unsettled him that it had happened so soon. You weren’t right yet, you were still… well he didn’t know. That was the problem. Shock he could understand, but he thought they had warmed you up and got you lucid again. And then you had looked at him like you were scared of him. You had never looked at him like that before, not even when you had been spitting mad and screaming at Soap. 

He trusted Price, he knew that he’d figure out what was wrong, knew that he’d take care of you in whatever way you needed it. But it didn’t help him sleep. He wanted to take care of you. He wanted you to cosy into him like you had done with Ghost. It drove him wild watching how his fingers had sunk into you, how you had let them. Fuck it was so stupid, Kyle’s fingers had been inside you but he was getting jealous of the intimacy of another mans fingers even touching you.

He was driving himself a little crazy going over your last interaction with him, trying to figure out what he had done wrong. You had been fine, you had even laughed when he had made a cutesy little smiley face on your omelette with ketchup. He wasn’t about to pretend that you were happy being kept by them like this, but he was so sure you had been beginning to settle. Him and Soap were going to wait until Simon was back and then make their case to him and Price that they should talk to you about giving you some freedom. They couldn’t let you just run to the police, but what if they built you your own place? Just like your little cottage. They thought they could make you happy with that for the time being, work on it until maybe you’d like to move somewhere far away with them. Then they could take you out on dates without incriminating themselves. They just needed to convince you that you wanted to go on them. And somehow he had fucked it all up. 

The light knock on his door had him out of the bed in record time to answer. He knew how a knock sounded for people, and that was too light to be Ghost or Price (Soap never knocked, fucking git that he was). He should have tried to be more cool and collected but he wrenched open the door and just flustered for a moment at you standing there in pjs. Fuck you were pretty. You looked tired still, but calm, he suspected Price had probably given you what you needed. 

“I… um. Can I come in?”

He nodded rapidly and stood aside to let you wander into his room. You seemed maybe a little nervous, but at least not scared of him. He hated that you had been scared of him. He hated not being able to figure out why.

“Are you-”

“I wanted-”

You both paused and there was a moment of each of you trying to get the other to go first until Kyle sighed and very gently moved you to sit on his bed so he could crouch in front of you, taking both your hands in his.

“Are you ok luv?”

“Tired. John gave me the soup you made, it was nice.”

He had fed you after he had rewired your brain with the absolute leathering he had given your ass. You were pretty sure you had cried during, but it was all a little hazy. It was a stupid thing to do, but you found you trusted him. Hard not to when he had climbed into the bath with you, washed your hair and gently dried and moisturised you after without once trying to take advantage.

You had nearly choked spying on him when you were supposed to be undressing for the bath, watching through the crack in the bathroom door to his room as he leaned his forearm heavily against the wall and quickly jacked himself off. Fuck, you knew he had done it because he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t be getting hard with you naked in his arms and you had to throw cold water on your face to try and pretend you weren’t flushed with the thought that he wanted you that badly but wouldn’t do anything to you even in your vulnerable state. Made it hard not to trust him really. You had been suddenly glad for how utterly exhausted you were because while your body had made an attempt at getting you aroused it had been overpowered by bone tiredness.

Instead you had let him take care of you and pull you into his arms in bed. And you had finally talked. You told him what you had overheard and he told you that without a shadow of a doubt you had misunderstood. He’d even offered to knock their heads together for even accidentally frightening you like that. And you were so thoroughly out of emotions, so run through with the events of the day, that you couldn’t find it in you to not just believe him. He hadn't stopped you when you had mumbled that you wanted to see Kyle, he had just pressed his lips to your hair and let you go. 

“What’s going on in that pretty head of yours?”

“I thought you and Johnny were going to kill me. I overheard you in the kitchen,” you answered, no energy for anything but blunt honesty.

Kyle took a moment to figure out what the fuck you were talking about and then groaned and hid his head in your joined hands. 

“Fuck. Oh fuck. I should have thought about how that would sound with you right in the next room, I’m sorry, it wasn’t anything like what you’re thinking, it- well we-”

You squeezed his hands to get him to look at you again.

“S’ok. I’d just like to sleep if that’s ok.”

He wasn’t going to argue with you when you were sat in his bed, when you wanted to share it. So he just smiled and let you crawl under the covers so he could slot in right behind you. 

He fit there. 

[brookghaib-blog]

Whispers of the past pt.13

Pairing: Hoshina Sohiro x reader

Summary: 10 years ago, Y/N went missing after being attacked by a kaiju, now working by Gen Narumi's side as his secret weapon, she hides herself in hopes that one day she reconnects with her first love, Hoshino Soshiro.

pt.12

Y/N's pov:

The cool night air rustled my hair as I stood on the rooftop, the city sprawling beneath me like a glittering sea. I held my phone to my ear, waiting for Narumi to pick up. The mission had been weighing heavily on my mind, and I needed to share the details with him.

"Hey," Narumi's familiar voice crackled through the speaker. "How's it going?"

I took a deep breath. "Narumi, I've been following up on the mission you assigned me. Trying to find another human-kaiju is proving to be more difficult than we thought."

There was a pause on the other end. "What have you found so far?"

"Not much," I admitted, frustration seeping into my voice. "Whoever this kaiju is, they’re very good at staying hidden. I can’t detect them when they're in human form, just like I can’t be detected. But I’ve been keeping an eye on the new recruits."

"Anyone stand out?" Narumi asked, his tone serious.

"Yeah, actually," I replied, leaning against the railing. "There's this guy, Kafka Hibino. He’s an odd choice for the Defense Force. He's incredibly slow and seems to have no power at all. I can’t figure out why he was recruited."

Narumi sighed. "Keep an eye on him. Sometimes the least obvious suspects can be the most dangerous."

"Will do," I said, jotting down a mental note to watch Kafka more closely. "I'll keep you updated on any developments."

Narumi's voice softened slightly. "How was it facing Soshiro?"

I hesitated, the memory of our confrontation still raw. "It was...normal. He tried to talk to me, but I kept him at arm’s length. I plan to keep it that way."

"I’m sorry you have to go through this," Narumi said. "If you need to get out of the Third Division or if things get too hard, just let me know. I'll make sure you’re reassigned."

I felt a surge of gratitude. "Thank you, Narumi. I appreciate it. But I want to see this through. I need to prove to myself that I can do this."

"I know you can," Narumi said confidently. "Just remember, you’re not alone in this. We’re all here to support you."

I smiled, feeling a bit lighter. "Thanks. That means a lot."

"Narumi," I said, my voice hesitant, "do you have any updates on Mr. Orochi's murder?"

There was a pause on the other end before he replied. "Nothing concrete yet. No cameras caught anything, and no weapon has been identified. It's like he just vanished and then reappeared dead."

I clenched my fists, frustration bubbling inside me. "How can that be? There must be something."

"I know," Narumi sighed. "We've interviewed some of the workers from the bar, but nobody knows anything beyond his odd behavior toward the end. It’s like he wasn’t the same person."

"His odd behavior," I echoed, thinking back to our last conversation. "He was acting strange that day. Almost like…like he wasn’t human."

Narumi's voice softened. "I promise you, Y/N, we’ll find out who did this. But it’s a complex case. We have so little to go on."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady my emotions. "I know you’re doing everything you can. It’s just hard to accept."

"I understand," he said gently. "Mr. Orochi was important to you. But we have to be patient. These things take time."

"Yeah," I murmured, feeling the weight of the world on my shoulders. "I just…I want justice for him."

"And we’ll get it," Narumi assured me. "In the meantime, focus on your mission. Keep me updated on Kafka and any other leads you find."

"Will do," I said, my voice firmer. "Thanks, Narumi."

We ended the call, and I slipped my phone into my pocket, the unresolved questions about Mr. Orochi’s death swirling in my mind. As I looked out over the city, I made a silent vow to uncover the truth, no matter how long it took.

The following morning, I threw myself into my work with renewed determination. Training with the Third Division was rigorous, but it kept my mind occupied. I kept a close watch on Kafka, my suspicion growing with each passing day. His behavior, though seemingly harmless, was too ordinary—too calculated.

After an intense training session, I retreated to the rooftop once again. The solitude offered a chance to clear my mind. I dialed Narumi’s number, needing to hear his voice.

"Hey," he answered, sounding a bit more upbeat. "How’s it going?"

"Slow progress," I admitted. "But I’m not giving up. Kafka’s still the most strange out there, although, there are some pretty interesting suspects, they are very strong for beginners, but nothing that indicates that the strenght comes from a kaiju.."

"Keep at it, you're doing great" Narumi encouraged.

"Thanks," I said, appreciating his support more than he knew. "Narumi, do you think there could be others like me out there? Humans who’ve been turned into kaiju?"

There was a thoughtful pause before he replied. "It's possible. If it happened to you, it could happen to others. We need to be vigilant."

I nodded, feeling a sense of purpose. "I’ll keep that in mind."

--

Sitting in my assigned room, I stared blankly at the wall, the weight of Soshiro’s words pressing heavily on my mind. His suggestion that Narumi and I had something between us was absurd, yet it gnawed at my thoughts. How could he have seen us kissing? I had no recollection of such a thing ever happening. The confusion was overwhelming.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Narumi’s number, my heart pounding in my chest. It was late, but I needed answers.

"Hey, Y/N," Narumi answered, his voice surprisingly alert for the hour. "Everything okay?"

"Narumi, I’m sorry for calling so late, but I need to talk to you about something," I said, my voice trembling slightly.

"Sure, what’s up?" he asked, concern evident in his tone.

"I had a conversation with Soshiro when I went to ask him questions about the Kaiju" I began, taking a deep breath. "He got a little of track and he suggested that you and I have some sort of relationship. He even said he saw us kissing at the bar where I worked."

Narumi was silent for a moment, clearly processing what I had just told him. "I never spoke to Soshiro about any relationship," he finally said, confusion lacing his words. "Why would he think that?"

"I don’t know," I admitted, feeling a sense of frustration. "But he was so convinced. He said he saw us kissing. Do you remember saying anything that may habe been misunderstood?"

Narumi hesitated, a sigh escaping his lips. "There was one night," he began slowly, "after one of your performances. You got blackout drunk and…you kissed me."

I felt my heart stop. "What?" I whispered, mortified. "I…Narumi, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I basically assaulted you."

"Hey, it’s okay," he said, his voice gentle but firm. "You were drunk, and it wasn’t like that. You didn’t know what you were doing."

My face burned with embarrassment, and I could feel my eyes welling up with tears. "I’m so sorry," I repeated, feeling utterly humiliated.

Out of nowhere, Narumi’s tone shifted. "You know Y/N, you can do whatever you want with me," he said, a teasing lilt in his voice. "I’ll let you."

I blinked, completely taken aback. "What?" I stammered, my cheeks burning.

"With Soshiro out of the picture," Narumi continued, his voice dripping with a mix of seduction and playfulness, "I can show you what a real man feels like. Can you do me a favor?"

"Um, sure," I said, still trying to process the sudden change in his demeanor. "What do you need?"

"Say my name," he requested, his voice dropping to a deeper, almost husky tone.

"Narumi?" I replied, unsure of where this was going.

"No, Y/N," he corrected gently. "Come on, say my name."

Realization dawned on me, and my heart raced faster. "Gen?" I whispered, my voice barely audible.

On the other end of the line, I heard Narumi almost moan. "Yes," he breathed, his voice sounding deeper and more intimate. "You make me so happy."

I felt a rush of heat flood my face, completely speechless. Before I could respond, Narumi added, "You have no idea what you do to me."

"Are you okay?" I asked, my voice filled with concern. "You sound…weird."

"I’m more than okay," Narumi assured me. "You just made my night. I’ll talk to you tomorrow, Y/N."

With that, he hung up, leaving me staring at my phone in disbelief. My mind was a whirlwind of emotions—confusion, embarrassment, and something else I couldn’t quite identify.

I sat there for a long time, replaying the conversation in my head. What just happened?

[lostbetweenvampiresandmusic]

Hey! Could you do a Poly Lost Boys x reader, where the plot is like Happy Death Day? It's ok if you haven't seen it, the basic plot summery is "A college student must relive the day of her murder over and over again, in a loop that will end only when she discovers her killer's identity." I was thinking that the reader is the one going through the loop, and the boys try to help you (the only down side of that is having to tell them everything again, every time the loop resets)

If not that's ok!

Thanks!

I hope you like this!

----------------------

I didn't dare to look backwards, running through the bushes. The masked figure just only came closer and closer, and I knew I had to make a decision quickly. Should I run further and end up at the cliff, having nowhere to go? Or should I turn around and confront him?

I didn't fancy taking a dive of a cliff, so I did the only thing I could do. I turned around. "What do you wa-" I coughed, blood dripping down my chin. Shocked, I looked at the masked figure, then down at my stomach. A knife had been forced into my skin, being twisted around, and then being pushed back in. "W-why..." I fell to the ground, seeing how the killer bent down, ready to stab me some more and-

Screaming, I woke up, jumping out of bed. My hand ran over my stomach, which was whole. There was no stab wound. There was no blood. There were no cuts from running through the bushes. I shivered, horrified. Had this been a dream? It - it had felt too real.

"Are you alright?" I practically jumped, only now noticing that Paul had entered my room. I didn't say anything as I wrapped my arms around him, trying to calm myself down.

"Babe?"

"Just a bad dream, I think." Paul didn't look convinced, and in all honesty, I didn't feel convinced either. As I got dressed, I tried to forget it. Still, the uneasiness I felt didn't go away, and when I went outside, they all knew something was off.

The weird thing was, I realised as I sat behind David, it felt like the dream had happened before. I sighed, happy that we had arrived at the boardwalk. There, between the music and the rides, the comfort of the boys and the fact that they did their best to distract me, I finally felt a bit of peace.

"Come on, the dipper has reopened," Marko grinned, pulling me along. He knew I hated the rollercoaster, but a while ago, I had sadly lost a bet. He had won and had demanded that when the coaster reopened, I would go on it.

"No, no, I don't want to, I hate rollercoasters." I looked at him, but he shook his head. "I'll be with you. You lost the bet, this was what I won."

I sighed, shaking my head. "Fine, but no complaining if I turn green or if I throw up ."

"I would never!"

"I remember differently," I said, a small smile forming on my face. Next time that we'd do a bet, I'd make sure to know what was at stake before agreeing. As much as I enjoyed living with the boys, when it came to making bets, they somehow always managed to win.

When the ride was finally over, and I had indeed turned the slightest shade of green, the boys had found their prey for the night.

"You can come along, if you want."

I shook my head. "No, I don't think I can keep my stomach controlled this time." He chuckled.

"Rollercoaster?"

"Lost bet," I shrugged, leaning against the metal rail. "I'll be fine. I'm just going to browse, I think."

"We can go later if you're still shaken from this morning," Dwayne offered, but I shook my head. "Go. I'll be fine, promise."

With that, they left to hunt, and I turned to the stores. There wasn't much new inside, and after deciding it would be more fun to go to the concert down at the beach, I left the boardwalk.

The music was good, some cover band playing the latest hits. The crowd was big and wild, and even though the nightmare I had this morning still plagued my mind, I was certain nothing would happen in this crowd. So, I joined in. I danced, sang along to the tunes I knew, and got swept away by the music until, in the distance, I saw a shape wearing a mask.

I froze. The masked figure turned to look at me. Only now could I see what it represented, some sort of clown like face. As the clownfaced figure looked at me and saw how frozen I was, it waved.

I didn't think. I turned around and ran. Through the crowds, over the beach, under the boardwalk - I ran and ran, and I could feel it stinging in my side, but I could not stop because he was coming after me. I knew, I heard him. I ran, and I stopped. I turned around, and then I was once again coughing up blood, being stabbed in the stomach. I fell to the ground, my killer leaned over me and-

With a scream, I awoke, and jumped straight out of bed. This - I had been murdered. I had been murdered, and now I was awake, alive and - Paul came in. If I hadn't known he would have come in, I certainly would not have noticed.

"No, I'm not alright," I said quietly, before he could even ask if I was. Paul frowned, hugged me, but didn't ask how I knew what he was going to ask. The first time I woke up, yesterday, I had been certain it was a dream. But, if I woke up today, and I remembered that I was actually killed - maybe the first time, yesterday, wasn't a dream either?

I got dressed and went outside, we went to the boardwalk, and once again, Marko tried to get me on the rollercoaster. I froze. This had definitely happened before. Everything that happened today had happened before.

"Not today," I said dsitracted, as Marko dragged me to the coaster. "Something is wrong."

"What is?"

"What day is it?"

"Tuesday. Why?"

"Yesterday was Tuesday. There was a band playing, down at the beach. They only play on Tuesdays."

Marko frowned, taking me back to the others. "What's going on?"

"This happened before. Everything. Which also means that at the end of tonight, I will be killed... again." I frowned. Was that why this was happening? Did I have to try to survive?

"What do you mean killed?" Dwayne looked at me.

"The dream I had? I was murdered. Stabbed, repeatedly. But it wasn't a dream. It was what actually happened, and then when I died, it was morning again."

"Who killed you?" Paul asked, which made me realise that they could very easily find him in 's crowd, right? If they found the guy before he killed me, then I wouldn't have to die?

"A guy in a clownmask."

David sighed. "You're not going anywhere alone, alright?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I'd rather not get stabbed again, thanks."

This meant, obviously, that I had to join them while they fed. I drove with them to a distant bonfire, far away from the crowds, and waited by the bikes while they fed. Thinking about it, maybe being turned half would make killing me harder? Maybe that could prevent it from happening aga-

My eyes opened wide when a knife was pushed into my back. I screamed, stumbling forward. In the distance, I could hear Marko call my name, and then there was nothing.

With a scream, I awoke, jumped out of bed, and - horror came over me as I realised that once again I had been killed. "Paul? What day is it?"

"How did you know I was here?"

"What day-?"

"Tuesday, are you-?"

"Nope. Is everyone up, there's something I need to talk to you about."

There was absolutely no doubt about it, I was stuck in a timeloop, and every single time, it was Tuesday I got killed by a guy in a fucking clownmask.

"So, this has been the fourth time I woke up, and it is still Tuesday, and I don't know who is killing me or why, but I really want it to stop," I concluded my explanation.

"You're not kidding," Dwayne realised as he pulled me close. "Shit."

I nodded. It was shit, especially since I didn't quite know how to stop it.

"How long have you-?"

"This is the fourth Tuesday, and the second that I'm aware of the loop."

"What did we do yesterday, differently than the previous Tuesday?" David asked.

"I didn't go on the coaster with Marko, and I realised that I was stuck in a loop. I went with you when you fed, and then I was stabbed in the back."

"So even when we're with you, you got killed?"

"Yeah," I sighed.

"We can feed tomorrow. One of us will always be with you. Avoid crowds. Avoid going somewhere we can't follow. Maybe if you survive, the loop will be broken." I nodded, hugging David. "I hope so."

That night, I wasn't alone even once. We skipped the coaster, stayed on the edge of the boardwalk, and avoided the crowds. The only problem was that after having dinner, I realised that I needed to go to the bathroom. Paul went with me and patiently waited outside the stall door, making sure no one could get to me. When we left, we were surrounded by people. The concert at the beach had been over, and everyone went back to the boardwalk. I tried to reach for Paul's hand, but the crowd dragged me away. I tried to move my way back to him. He spotted me, was coming towards me, when suddenly horror crossed his face. I turned around and screamed as the knife was forced into my neck.

My hand shot towards my neck when I woke up, and I couldn't help but cry. Four times. Four times had I been killed. "Babe?"

"We need to stay here tonight, please."

"Kitten, what's going on?" David had entered as well. I told them again. Had to explain again how this was Tuesday number five, that I had been killed four times and that I was not only terrified but that I had no idea who was even doing this or how to stop it. Luckily, once again, they realised I wasn't lying - the benefit of having boyfriends who could hear your heartbeat, I thought quietly. So, that Tuesday we stayed in. But when they left to feed, something they decided on after agreeing that no one would find the cave, the masked killer appeared on top of the cliffs. I screamed, ran, hid, and once again, I failed.

It went like that for who knows how long. Every day, I explained it to the boys, and every time, we tried something new. And every time, I still got killed. I didn't know how many Tuesdays I have had, I didn't know who the killer was still - not that we hadn't tried to figure it out - and I was still dying every single day.

It was one Tuesday when I didn't even bother getting out of bed, and I decided that that was the next plan of survival. All those days, we had tried everything, but not one day had I stayed in bed. Once again, I explained, but the more I talked, the more I actually realised I wasn't feeling too great. When Dwayne stayed with me, after the others went out to get food, I realised why. Scars. My entire stomach was covered in scars, from all the stabbing I took.

Dwayne didn't say anything as he just held me, noticing before me that the boys had returned home. "We're in here," he'd yelled before making sure I was comfortable. It was then that my door swung open, and I screamed. The man with the clownmask was here. Dwayne jumped up, pulling the mask off, and - I didn't know who it was. The man was unknown to me, and still had he tried to kill me all these days.

"Who are you?" I asked, Dwayne standing in front of me.

The man just grinned. "Smith."

It happened quickly. David and the others returned, Dwayne and I both were distracted, and then I felt it again. The knife stuck in my heart as I fell down and everything went black.

"Smith!"

"What the fuck, babe?" Paul stood in the doorway, as I had once again woken up and it was once again Tuesday. "The guy who killed me, his name is Smith!"

Paul looked confused, but after so many Tuesdays, I had become very skilled in explaining that I was stuck in a timeloop. "The only problem is now, that I don't know who this Smith guy is."

"We do," Dwayne said, causing me to look up. "We killed his wife a while back. He has no proof, but he always thought we had something to do with it."

"So, if we find him and kill him before he kills me, then we break the loop, right?"

"I think so," David said, standing up. "We know where he lives."

"Alright, let's go," I grinned, stopping as I saw their concerned looks.

"He doesn't know where the cave is-"

"Marko, he does, I've been killed here at least seven times now."

"Shit."

"Yeah, honestly, the longest I've survived was when i was close to you four, so no way am I changing that up now."

The boys nodded, agreeing that I was right. That night felt different from the others. Somehow, I felt less fearful. We drove to Smith's house, Paul and Marko stayed with me as David and Dwayne entered, and within seconds, we could hear a grown man screaming. As they brought the body out, I froze.

"What is it? He's dead. You should be fine now," David looked at me.

"It's not him." I whispered, horrified. It was quiet for a moment when suddenly we all heard a snap. Someone had stood on a branch and broken it. The boys turned around before I could react, and Paul and Marko jumped into action. The man with the mask was here, grabbed by the boys. His mask was pulled off - and it was the same guy as yesterday. David had lifted the guy up, ready to tspear him a part, when in his last moments he threw his knife at me.

Smiths neck was snapped as I fell to the ground, crying quietly. "Not again... I dont-" The boys were next to me, Marko putting pressure on the wound, David taking the knife out. Paul had quickly improvised some bandages, and Dwayne kept me talking, kept me awake.

" 'm tired," I mumbled, feeling cold.

"I know, love."

"Love you guys," I mumbled before everything went black.

I woke up, crying out. It couldn't be - I didn't want to love through yet another Tuesday, I couldn't.

"Babe?"

"No, no, no, no, no, please-"

"It's Wednesday," Paul held me as I cried. "It's Wednesday, it's over."

"Wednesday?"

"Yeah," Marko and Dwayne entered.

"We killed Smith," Marko sat down behind me.

"Managed to save you in time," Dwayne smiled, giving me a soft kiss.

"How many Tuesdays did you have?" David stood in the doorway.

"To many. Way too many."

[jewish-vents]

I have changed and I can tell it's not for the better. My Africana Studies professor says Jewish people aren't indigenous to Israel and looks me in the eyes, waiting for me to say something? I will look right back and make unbroken eye contact silently until he looks away. The head of the linguistics program mentions 'colonizer languages' and looks at me? I will reply that English is not the indigenous language of this language, Blackfoot is, and meet her eyes the entire time. My math professor glowers at me when I wear a Magen David? I will look right back at her with the same blank, emotionless expression I wear when dealing with the rest of these people. I keep looking and they break before I do. They always look away. They never know what to do with someone who isn't intimidated by them.

When I was 5, a 12 year old whose parents were Neo Nazis tried to drown me. I locked my limbs around him and hauled him down with me. I understood instinctively then, without words, what I know now: I am not weaker than someone just because they're older than me. I am strong. If you want to take me down, I'll bring you down with me. I've been taking jiujitsu for three years and I own a gun with a concealed carry permit. And yet I don't need that to beat any of these people, I just need eye contact and cold recitation of the facts. I can outlast any of them. I have survived a murder attempt. I have survived nearly dying of internal bleeding. I have hauled myself down three flights of stairs with only 43% of the blood left in my body because my dorm didn't have a working elevator and my RA couldn't be bothered to call an ambulance for me.

I am not afraid of academics who think they can call me out in class. I know what it feels like to drown and have my lungs feel like they're on fire and still be able to fight back. I am not afraid of encampment babies who get much more well-behaved every time I pull out my phone to film them and who can only do things in groups. If they want to kill me, they're going to have to do better than everyone else who tried, and if their murder attempts are half as inept as their 'activism', I'm safe.

I can feel myself becoming the kind of man I always swore I'd never be, cold and distant and unloving. And I know it can't mean anything good for my mental health long-term. I also know that if I don't approach things from the point of view that I have survived worse and I can beat everyone here in a game of survival if I have to, this will turn into anxiety, and that anxiety would be overwhelming.

This is forcing me to become my father. This is turning me into the same kind of person that growing up in deeply antisemitic times in Serbia turned him into. "You're either American/Serbian or you're Jewish", "your [Israeli] government", "your country [Israel]", we're on trial for a place we've never been to and we're foreigners in our own homelands. No wonder he became so icy and hard to get a rise out of. He had to. It was that or become too anxious to function.

I don't like what this is doing to me. I like what I'm realizing about my dad's life by proxy even less. Is it the mentality I find myself in I don't like, or is it the bitter irony that after a lifetime of wishing I understood him, now I do, and it's awful?

.

[arelluv]

Billy Loomis x Reader (smut)

MINORS DNI.

! No protection, knife, stalking ! ( 18 + )

(A:N this is my first time writing smut yall, i hope yall enjoy 😭🤍)

It was a friday night, your father was out of town for business. Your mother passed away, the year before so you were all alone. You just finished your homework, it was already stressful enough that you were alone, depressed, and suddenly hearing about murders going on. The Tv was on, you were seeing that there was someone killing teenage girls and guys. They don't know who's done this but it is someone who definitely lives around YOUR area.

Most of the people who were killed, were people you knew (just acquaintances). You were just in your head thinking about who could it possibly be doing this. No one in your school seemed suspicious enough to do this, no one really had such visible hatred toward one another.

Another hour had passed, it has started raining. You were bored, out of your mind. You read your book and tried to distract yourself from whatever you could possibly think of. Suddenly you heard your phone ringing. You knew no one would ever call you during this time, especially at night. You thought it probably was your dad. You pick up.

"Hello?", you asked with an uncertain tone.

"Hello Y/N" , an unknown voiced announced itself.

"Who's this?", you started to worry, especially with seeing the news earlier... this didn't help.

this unknown person asked, laughing abit, "Do you..have a partner Y/N?"

"Why would you want to know?" you asked with a tone of rudeness.

"Because I just want to know. Answer me.", he stated, starting to seem impatient.

Being the smartass that you are, you said, "First off, you haven't answered my first question. Who are YOU? And if you answer, I'll answer your question."

"Fine, I'm ghostface. You've probably heard about me on Tv. Now answer my question." he said with certainty.

"You're...him.", you started breathing heavily, "And yes, I have a boyfriend. Why are you interested in knowing about that?"

"I'll ask you one last thing," he said dodging your question, "is his name Billy?", he asked, sounding like he put on a grin.

"How do you know about him?!" you asked in shocked, this ghostface person knows you. He's the one killing the classmates you knew. Is he after you next?

You hear no one at the other end. Wondering what's happening. You lock your windows. Close your curtains. You immediately go downstairs and lock every door that could possibly be accessed from the outside. But you heard a knock..

You go back running to your room, turning off the lights. Forgetting that the phone is still on. You grab your phone, and hold it up to your ear.

"Why'd you lock the doors? You scared I'm gonna come in and gut you like a fish? Hm?" he asked, laughing.

You started to fear him, what could you have possibly done to this person? What did he have against you and why was he so interested in knowing if you were with billy? "Please I don't have anything you need or want! Why are you doing this to me?", you started to tear up and your throat was starting to hurt.

"You are what I need, Y/N.", ghostface started grinning like a freak, he asked, "Do you really love this boyfriend of yours?". He sounded more genuine asking this question like your answer really meant something to him.

"Yes, I love him. I'd do anything for Billy. I'll never give myself up to you even if it meant that you'd kill me", you knew you were screwed answering him like this, but you really meant it. Billy was your whole world and the only person to look after you and understand you. He cured your depression after your mother passed away, he was always doing the most for you. Your father turned into an alcoholic after your mother passed, so you had no one but Billy. him.

"Oh really? Mmh-" he asked but he was grunting. You heard some other noise but couldn't make anything else out if it.

But oh he was going insane. The fact that you would do anything for him, made him go crazy. He was so turned on that he couldn't hold back. He started to stroke his cock, slowly up and down. Hearing the wet sounds, thinking of you giving him a wet blowjob right there with such a hot fucking face. He would never hurt you, he just felt such a thrill hearing you scared and hopeless.

"Open your door now. Or else." he said, still outside of your house. He pulled his cock back in, not finished with himself. He started feeling frustrated.

"No, my boyfriend will come right now! You better be gone by then. I'm never going to let you in!!" you yelled, you knew you couldn't contact Billy right now. But you had to lie so you can get out of this situation.

"Oh yeah? We'll see about that." he suddenly hung up.

You were scared knowing that you'll possibly die in matter of seconds or minutes. You grabbed anything in your room that could help with self defense and you grabbed your phone to call 911 but before you could.. you heard a knock on your window. You could see a familiar shadow behind your light curtains. You were sure it was Billy, you took a very small peak. It was him!

You opened the window very quick. Gasping and breathing heavily with anxiety and fear you said, "Billy! Why would you do that?!"

"Do what?" he asked seeming "surprised", "what happened, are you okay??"

"I'm not okay, this fucking killer from TV called me. He apparently knows about us, and I think he's stalking me!? He's right outside the house, threatening to come in.. " you were talking fast from fear, "and then YOU came knocking on my window and -"

Billy interrupted, "Take a deep breath, no one was outside Y/N. You'll be okay, I'm right here.", he gave you a hug and you could feel the wetness of his shirt since it was raining. He looked so hot in that white shirt, it was see through so you could see his toned abs and vline.

He departed from you, and looked at you, up and down. Looking amused. You thought he didn't seem too shocked about the news you told him, and nor did he seem to have any fear in his eyes..

You then look at his hands, a knife? You looked at him with shock. You were so scared of ghostface you didn't pay any attention to Billy's knife. (but you sure payed attention to those abs 🤨)

You slowly started walking back, almost tripping. You couldn't believe it, was ghostface him? Was he ghostface? The person that meant the most to you? How could it possibly, out of ANYONE, be him? "Y/N it's not what it seems... i promise.", Billy was trying to reassure you, as he was walking towards you.

You ran to your door and tried to unlock it but before you could, Billy grabbed your waist. He held his hand to your mouth before you could make any noise. "Don't scream, or else.", he knew he couldn't nor would he hurt you but he had to make sure you wouldn't scream. He then threw you on your bed, he got on top of you.

Still keeping his hand on your mouth, he was dragging his knife along your soft shirt then going underneath and touching your delicate belly. "Yes, it's me. I was the one calling you. But trust, I'd NEVER hurt you. Okay?"

His face reached your neck, his lips softly grazing your neck. You could feel a grin on his lips, "If I let go of my hand from your mouth, and you don't scream, I'll explain everything." You nodded, you had no option, you were seeing this completely different side of your boyfriend. Everything was a shock to you. He let go of his hand, and you asked huffing, "Wh-why? Why did you ki-kill those people??"

"After my mother passed, before I met you. Everyone at that godforsaken school, would laugh at me. Talking shit, saying my mother wasn't good for my father, that's why "he had a new whore on his cock each week. And she was an old hag who was a good for nothing". So they said. Even my old "friends" joined in, in their fuckery So I got revenge."

You never knew this, no wonder he really felt for you, when your mother died. He felt the same way and he did what he would've wanted someone to do to him.

"I killed Sydney's mother, the whore. Then the whore's daughter. Then I thought, why not kill all of those fuckers who talked shit about me and my mother? So I came up with Ghostface and I went on a killingspree." he had no shame in saying any of this, matter of fact he sounded happy. He then added, "But I'd never hurt you, I swear. I'd let anyone kill me before they could kill you."

"I-I can't do this Billy.." you didn't know what to say, everything was so sudden and you were in shock physically and mentally. "I know you were in pain but you shouldn't have killed anyone Billy", you held his face with your hand. You didn't want to press any buttons that you shouldn't press. "What are you trying to say Y/N? You don't want to be with me anymore? Is that what you're trynna say? ", Billy started asking aggressively. He held back the urge to be agressive, he would never want to treat you harshly. He just didn't want to lose you over "something" like this.

"That's not what I'm saying Billy, I just don't know what to do with everything you told me..", you still were in shock. You didn't know what to say or even feel. Billy started kissing your neck, trying to make you forget about everything that had happened. "Mmh, Billy... you know what you're doing", you weren't stupid enough to know he'd do this whenever he slipped up. He'd always give you kisses or even gifts to make you forget about an argument.

You tried moving to get out of this position you were in, but Billy was stronger than you. "No, Y/N. You're not leaving me easily like this. What happened about earlier?", he smiled like a freak, whilst pinning you down. "What do you mean "earlier" ?" forgetting about what you said during the call.

"You'd do anything for me Y/N, you said it yourself. Even if it meant for someone else to kill you. Now lets keep that promise right now, yeah?", he put his knife near your shirt, cutting it. Then grazing the knife along your breasts.

Licking his lips, he neared himself to your breasts, a bit above he started kissing your chest. You moaned, trying to feel guilty that you knew he was a murderer. But you couldn't help it, his eyes, his lips. So soft and wet. You wanted him there and then. "May I?", Billy asked with lust filled eyes.

"Yes, Billy...", you couldn't help but moan. He immediately started licking your chest, sucking the soft spots. Hitting the right sensitive spots, never missing. Leaving small trails of hickeys. You couldn't help but roll your eyes back, the feeling he gave you... the anticipation. The small kisses, the sensitivity you felt yet it was slow but it satisfied you so much. You grabbed his hair, tugging it abit. "Oh Billy..", he was so good at this, you knew you needed him in you. He let go of his knife and grabbed your arms.

"You're such a slut for me, you're so eager for this cock. Hm?", he said as he moaned. As he moved himself to your stomach, leaving small trails of kisses. So delicate but so satisfying. "I'm anything for you Billy", you said, not regretting anything you said. Even though you wanted to resist him, you couldn't. Your body yearned for him in every way possible. "Lay there and feel me, that's all I want you to do. Can you do that babe?" he looked at you for reassurance, while holding himself back.

"Go in Billy, I want all of you.." you moaned, you couldn't even look at him without feeling turned on. He went on kissing you more below, and he finally reached your pussy. His eyes darkened at the fact that he'll taste you and your juices. He took off your pajama shorts, and he saw your panties soaked. So fucking wet with arousal, he took your soaked panties off. Finally seeing the prize. Your wet soaked throbbing pussy, so puffy needing something to satisfy it. He immediately dived in with his mouth, going in. Hitting all your sensitive spots, swirling in and out. He started licking your throbbing clit, licking your little tip. Sucking it gently, knowing it was so sensitive. He really craved your pussy, even just eating you out wasn't enough.

He went on sucking, still hitting your spots with his tongue. You arched your back, moaning so loud you couldn't even think right. You needed something more, you CRAVED him in you. He needed more from you, his cock was throbbing. So much precum was coming out.

"God Y/N you taste amazing", he grunted, he needed more. "Fuck", he moaned, "Tasting you isn't enough, I need to be in you.", he pulled out his cock. He started rubbing his cock near your wet throbbing pussy, your pussy ached for his cock. He knew he was teasing you, he softly went in. Letting you take in his big hard cock. "Oh fuck Billy!", you've never felt this euphoric, so thoughtless, just feeling him.

"Take it in babe, you can do it.", he said he moaned. Sliding his cock in fully, feeling your warmth. God it was intense for him too, just the feeling of you wrapped around his cock..he was thoughtless. He was just going with feeling. He went in and out of you in a rhythmic way, he felt so overwhelmed with your pussy. You were so tight. Gripping him. Both of you couldn't think a thought, just fully going with instinct.

After hitting every sensitive spot in you, he couldn't hold it. He felt it coming. He went in and out, loosing rhythm. Feeling your throbbing pussy clench. You couldn't help but arch your back, he was so good at this. It was leaving you dumb, all you could do is only think about his cock. Matter of fact, that's all you felt.

"I'm cumming, Y/N", he moaned, head going back and rolling his eyes. He could feel you cumming, your pussy clenching around his cock and he suddenly felt your juices surrounding his hard cock. This made him even thrust more into you, the wetness of your cum and the warmth of your tight pussy. It was all too overwhelming for him. "God, Y/N...I ca-can't hold back", he said as he moaned loudly. He thrusted faster, the sounds filled the entire room. He could feel his cock throb, he immediately pulled out. He came on your soft stomach, so much cum. You smiled at him still huffing from the sex you had. "I love you Y/N..", he leaned in and gave you a kiss.

"I love you too, Billy..", you pecked his lips. Billy asked, "Would you like some water?", he was one for the aftercare.

He really is something else.

(You're delulu girl 😜)

(A:N : sorry this is short 😭 thank you for reading. Pls leave some recommendations of other characters i should write abt! Ty)

[sorrowsofsilence]

Burning Out • IX

Pairing: Noah Sebastian x Fem!Reader

I was lost, but now I'm found Under the lights and in the sounds So let us sing and sing it loud That we're not perfect, but we're proud of who we are.

Noah Sebastian is lost. His crime-filled lifestyle is anything but perfect; but everything changes once he meets you.

Words: 6.5k

General Fanfic Warnings: 18+, explicit language, smut, alcohol, drugs, violence, mentions murder/suicide, panic attacks/anxiety, nightmares

Authors note: Chapter nine - Moral Antimatter (EDITED: 09-03-24, not new new to the story !)

new? start from chapter one here

She looked at the orange bottles with a detached expression.

“I’ve been consumed by guilt ever since, barely able to even look at you,” my voice began to rise, “How messed up am I? To do something like that to you, knowing that those meds are supposed to help you?”

I shook my head in frustration and slammed the glovebox shut, causing Y/N to jump.

The more I fool myself The more I feel it creeping in I think I lost my mind again

“Y/N,” I whispered now, “I am so sorry I did this to you. I am so sorry I dragged you into this.”

The more I start to fall The more I don't see me at all I think I lost my mind again

+++++

Y/N

Beneath the covers of my bed, I curled into a ball with my knees pulled up to my chest. Soft sobs escaped me as I tried to control my emotions, but they continued to overwhelm me. My breaths were heavy and ragged, and I coughed from the congestion caused by the tears staining my cheeks.

My mind was in turmoil, replaying everything that had happened. It would be easy to blame myself for Noah's decision, but how could I when I never considered the consequences of letting him into my life? On the other hand, I couldn't just overlook his actions; if I were a normal person, I would have kicked him out of my life already. But I was too wrapped up in him, unable to let go despite everything he had done.

I really was so naive, huh?

I wanted to trust Noah. I still trust Noah.

In the end, it was my own fault. Why did I put my trust in someone who had only recently entered my life? How long until that trust wears thin and breaks into an unfixable mess? As tears streamed down my face for Noah, my chest heaved with anxiety from my past. I made a promise to myself not to go back to wearing that deceitful mask or to let them find me again. Yet, here I was, completely exposed and easy to track. The dealer in the dark alley recognized the mask and knew the code.

“We live in a twilight world: And there are no friends at dusk.”

I didn’t recognize him, but I knew that he could link me back to those I ran from. They haven’t worn the masquerade masks since I left.

I squeezed my eyes shut, the heat of my breath beginning to suffocate my body that lay beneath the covers of my duvet, shielding me from the world and all the problems within it.

"I'll See You At The Beginning, Friend."

I was going to be found, and it was going to be a mess.

If Kiean and Kade were about to be back in my life, I would need a saving grace.

As much as I didn’t want to talk to Noah about anything, or forgive him, I needed him.

I told him that I would risk it all for him, and I’ve proven it; but would he risk it all for me?

You think that I can’t see through it all? Who would walk back and risk it all for me now? Is this how breaking point sounds?

Truthfully, Noah isn’t the bad guy. If anything, once he finds out everything, I am.

I let the tears fall for a moment longer as I anxiously lived within my mind before the soft creak of my door opening snapped me away from my wading.

“Go away,” I mumbled, curling closer to my knees before the bed dipped gently. A soft purr came from behind the blanket and I sniffed, opening the covers to reveal Juice who waddled towards me. His head pushed into my hand, the soft orange fur of his coat instantly soothing me as my fingers ran through it.

“I thought you’d need a furry friend right now.” I heard from behind the door and I turned my head, noticing Nicholas peaking in.

“Thanks,” I mumbled, sitting up as I held Juice in my arms. He purred harder at the touch, closing his eyes in contentment.

Nicholas pushed the door open more and he held out a mug in offering, “I brought you some tea?”

I sniffed, rubbing my eyes with my free hands in an attempt to erase the tears.

Nicholas walked into the room, setting a mug down on my nightstand before looking down at me with concern etched on his face. He sat on the edge of my bed carefully, not wanting to intrude.

"I'm here if you need to talk," he said softly.

I nodded and released Juice from my hold. The cat immediately went over to Nicholas, rubbing against his arm.

"He seems to have taken a liking to you," I said with a small smile.

"What can I say, I guess I have a way with cats," Nicholas chuckled, stroking the friendly feline.

I let out a low laugh and rubbed my eyes again before looking up at him.

As if he could read my thoughts, he spoke first.

"I knew," he said, and even though I had suspected it, my heart still clenched at his words.

"How long?" I whispered, picking at the fabric of my sheets.

Nicholas sighed, "Since it happened. I caught him replacing your pills."

I nodded, unsure of what to say. Not only did he steal them, but he also replaced them with lies. He never wanted me to find out.

"Was he ever planning on telling me?" I asked as tears welled up in my eyes once again.

Nicholas took in a breath and replied, "Yes. I tried to get him to tell you right away, but he wanted to wait until he paid off all your debts and could buy you more pills."

Silence hung between us as my mind raced.

"He messed up, Y/N. He knows that. But Noah cares about you deeply," Nicholas said sincerely.

I let out a bitter laugh. "Yeah, he cares so much that he purposely deceived me behind my back. And I would have given him the pills if he had just asked because they weren't doing anything for me anyway."

Nicholas turned to face me fully on the bed, his eyes watching me closely as another tear slipped down my cheek.

"Why do I still want to trust him?" I asked, my voice strained as tears blurred my vision once again.

"Because you also care about him," Nicholas replied calmly.

I let out a frustrated groan and pressed my palms into my eyes. "I see so much of myself in him. So much of who I used to be. And if I could get out, then he can too."

"What were you like before?" Nicholas asked curiously, studying me with genuine interest. He knew I had a bigger role in their world than what was initially presented, especially after seeing my involvement last night. We had grown closer over time and I knew that eventually I would have to trust him and the other boys fully.

It was difficult to admit the mistakes I had made.

"I'll tell you all eventually," I said, avoiding eye contact and turning away. "Once I can overcome the fear of revealing my past self."

Nicholas placed his hand on mine and gave me a comforting smile. "We are in no position to judge you, Y/N."

A wave of shame washed over me, causing my breath to catch in my throat. "Maybe so, but there is a reason why I tried to distance myself from who I used to be."

I took a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Nicholas's hand on mine was warm and reassuring, but I couldn't shake the anxiety clawing at my insides

"It's not just about judgment," I said softly. "It's about safety. For all of us."

Nicholas's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

I bit my lip, debating how much to reveal. "The people I used to be involved with... they're dangerous. More dangerous than you can imagine. And if they find out where I am, or who I'm with now..."

I trailed off, unable to finish the thought. The possibilities were too terrifying to voice.

Nicholas squeezed my hand gently. "We can protect you, Y/N. You don't have to face this alone."

A bitter laugh escaped me. "You don't understand. These people... they have connections everywhere.”

+++++

NOAH

I sucked in a breath as my padded fist collided with the covered fabric, the punching bag swinging back towards me before throwing another punch at it again, sending the bag spiralling.

And you know that we’re racing sand But we’re stronger than we were before And their forked tongues won’t lead the way You’re not pure anymore

Sweat dripped down my forehead as the music blasted through my headphones, my chest rising and falling with each surge of adrenaline. I moved back and forth, unleashing a barrage of punches fueled by rage.

The sins run red, but they won’t live forever You’ll be forever fake Will the marks I lay out there come back to me?

Despite knowing that Y/N may not want to speak to me, I knew I needed to apologize properly. My heart ached at the thought of her missing our first live show tonight, but I couldn't ignore the possibility that she might request the night off, just as she did at the cafe this morning.

I punched the bag with all my might, trying to release some of the built-up frustration and tension inside me. The gym was my escape, a place where I could physically let go of the overwhelming emotions suffocating me. Luckily, there was no one else around, giving me a chance to be alone with my thoughts.

Everything that had happened was my fault, and I felt ashamed. If Y/N and I were going to have any kind of relationship in the future, we needed to be completely honest with each other; no more secrets.

I was determined to regain her trust, but I also knew that I needed to learn more about her past. Wiping the sweat from my forehead with my shirt, I took a deep breath and let out a heavy sigh as lyrics from the song played on repeat in my mind.

Together we’re trapped inside of the scales Under the greed, and the ego’s weight I won’t be slipping when we all fall into Into moral decay

I confidently slid my gloves back on, ready to continue pounding the punching bag with all my might. As I swung my arms, I could feel the impact of each punch reverberate through my muscles. Suddenly, the lights in the gym went out, plunging me into complete darkness.

I quickly pulled out one of my earbuds and spun around, scanning the empty room in confusion. The small windows provided very little light, making it difficult to see anything. My heart rate increased as I furrowed my brow. Was there a power outage?

I took a few deep breaths as I stood still, trying to make sense of the situation. Eventually, I cautiously made my way towards the light switch and flipped it up. To my surprise, the lights came back on, leaving me even more puzzled. They had been turned off intentionally.

Just as I turned around, I was startled by a man standing directly in front of me. I instinctively let out a loud yell and jumped back, feeling a jolt in my stomach.

“What the fuck!”

He gave me a long stare, and I couldn't help but notice all the tattoos adorning his skin.

"Sebastian," he greeted me with a smile that showed off his shiny grillz.

It was Vincent, his true identity finally revealed. His sunken blue eyes and hollow jaw made him look even bonier than I had imagined, with a hint of scruff on his chin.

"What the hell are you doing here?" I exclaimed, backing away from him.

"Just adding some theatrics to our encounter," he shrugged, running his fingers along the metal bars of the machinery behind him. His curly brown hair fell just past his shoulders.

I watched him warily, "How did you find me?"

Vincent let out a laugh, "A little birdie told me."

My eyebrows furrowed in confusion, "What do you want?"

He glanced between me and the equipment, the shine of his grillz taunting me. My stomach twisted with unease. He couldn't have known what I looked like without my mask. How did he manage to find me here?

Reaching into his pocket, Vincent pulled out a silver quarter and began twirling it between his fingers.

"How about this..." he started.

I eyed him carefully as I took another step back.

"If it lands on heads, you tell me about your friend Y/N," he suggested.

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of her name. What did Vincent want with Y/N?

"And if it lands on tails?" I asked with narrowed eyes and clenched fists.

"Then you tell me about your masked friend," he replied with a sly smile on his face.

I gnawed on the inside of my cheek as I glared at Vincent. He seemed oblivious to the fact that Y/N and this mysterious masked person were one and the same, but I couldn't understand why he was fixated on it anyway. "Why do you need to know about either of them?" I demanded, hoping to redirect the conversation away from my involvement.

Vincent just smirked and produced a coin from his pocket. "Let's make a little wager, shall we? Heads or tails?" he asked, flipping the coin in the air with his thumb. We both watched it spin before landing back in his hand. He turned it over to reveal tails.

"Hmm, not what I was hoping for," he commented casually.

"Well, I have nothing to tell you either way," I stated firmly.

"But you know who wears the mask," Vincent pressed, leaning in closer.

"I don't," I insisted, shaking my head.

But Vincent's eyes gleamed with knowing. "You do know," he declared confidently.

"I hired someone to assist me," I explained dismissively, walking towards my backpack and water bottle.

"But how did you come into contact with a member of Fidelio? And specifically one who wears the volto mask?" Vincent prodded.

"Fidelio?" I raised an eyebrow in confusion. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

Vincent grabbed my arm and pulled me towards him, causing me to yank away forcefully. "Get off me!" I shouted. "I have no clue what you're going on about. Can you just back off?"

“That member has been missing for months,” He said hastily.

I stared at him in incredulity. This guy was nuts.

He paused, watching me briefly, eyes darting across my lost expression, “you seriously have no idea?”

“No!” I yelled, grabbing my backpack from the ground, and swinging it over my shoulder.

“Well, then your point of my hire knowing the code is useless if others know it too,” I stated, beginning to walk past him, “Nice chat. I’ll see you at thVincent posed a question, "Have you ever seen the movie Eyes Wide Shut?" I shook my head in reply.

He ran his hand over his face and explained, "Fidelio is a cult that takes inspiration from the film - except without all the strange sexual and orgy activities."

I scoffed, "And this is relevant because?"

"Because that cult happens to be one of the largest underground drug dealers and crime syndicates in North America, and they've stopped operating since that mask went missing."

My mind clicked into gear when he mentioned crime syndicate; I vaguely remembered hearing about a few robberies carried out by individuals wearing masquerade masks... Venetian masquerade masks. Trying not to give anything away, I quickly sucked in a breath before casually shrugging and clenching my bag strap. "Great. So the person I hired was probably inspired by their methods and liked the mask."

But Vincent shook his head vigorously. "They knew the code."

I watched him closely, "So do you. Are you a member?"

He laughed at my assumption, "Me? Nah, it's flattering that you would think so, but no. My boss has been trying to take them down for years."

"So how do you know the code?" I pressed.

Vincent simply shrugged again, "The boss knows that's how they communicate."

“Well, then your point of my hire knowing the code is useless if others know it too,” I stated, beginning to walk past him, “Nice chat. I’ll see you at the end of the week with more drugs.”

Vincent shouted after me, “Wait. I need to know more about this Y/N Y/L/N.”

I stopped in my tracks, refusing to turn around as anger boiled inside of me. He may not know that Y/N was wearing a disguise, but he knew something about her.

“So you took the medication from her?” He asked.

I turned my head to the side, keeping my body still as I avoided his gaze, “Your coin landed on tails.”

Vincent brushed off my comment, “My boss is wondering where all the drugs are coming from, especially the ones that require a prescription. He wants me to keep track in case any of it leads back to us.” I wanted to leave, but my curiosity kept me rooted to the spot.

“I told him her name, and he claims to know her,” Vincent spoke slowly, “he’s been searching for her for years. So do you know her? Or was it just a random theft?”

My heart raced, but I didn’t want Vincent to see how nervous I was.

“Just a random theft,” I turned to face him now, answering without hesitation, “I have no idea who that woman is. Do you even realize how many people I steal from? And have stolen from since then?”

My throat constricted as I insulted Y/N, but I needed it to sound convincing.

Vincent nodded, his eyes studying mine intently as we stared each other down. After a brief moment of silence, he spoke again, “Do you remember where she lives?”

With a stern expression on my face, I locked eyes with him and said firmly, “No.”

He glanced at me and flipped the coin in his hand once more, “Well if you do remember, you know who to call.”

His shoulder grazed mine as he walked past me towards the exit of the gym, “See you later, Noah.”

My eyes slimmed in distaste as I followed his figure before I froze at the realization of what he called me.

Noah.

I’ve never told him my first name.

I spun around, but Vincent had already disappeared through the gym doors. My heart pounded as I tried to process what had just happened. How did he know my real name? And what did he want with Y/N?

Grabbing my things, I rushed out of the gym, scanning the parking lot for any sign of Vincent. But he was gone.

I needed to warn Y/N. Whatever was in her past, it was catching up to her. And now it was putting all of us in danger.

As I drove home, my mind raced. Who exactly was Y/N? What was her connection to this Fidelio cult? And how much did Vincent and his mysterious boss know?

When I pulled up to the house, I saw the car in the driveway. Good. Maybe the boys could help me figure out what to do.

+++++

Y/N

As we lay on the living room couch, watching TV, Folio asked, "Are you coming to the show tonight?"

I had put on Naturo to calm my nerves, and Ruffilo and Folio immediately ran upstairs in excitement upon hearing the intro.

I turned my head to look at him and replied, "I have to work tonight, so you couldn't stop me even if you wanted to." Folio and Ruffilo laughed, and I smiled before returning my attention to the show.

Nicholas nudged my side and asked, "How are we going to celebrate? We have to have a drink together." I squirmed under his touch but laughed, saying, "I'm not sure. I can try to get off early since I start at 4 today. You guys play at 11 pm, right?"

Nicholas nodded and said, "Yeah, 45-minute set or something."

"Noah will be happy you're coming," Nick added just as Noah walked in through the front door. The three of us looked at him, and I immediately sank into the couch in an attempt to hide myself. But Noah's eyes locked onto mine as he kicked off his shoes and stood at the bottom of the stairs.

"We need to talk. Bedroom, now," he said urgently, grabbing onto the wooden railing.

Folio let out a low murmur, shooting me a glance before turning his attention back to Noah. "That's not how you turn a girl on," he muttered.

"Get lost, Nick," Noah snapped, his gaze fixed on me as he waited for me to stand up.

"Y/N." His tone was stern and commanding, causing a shiver to run down my spine. I quickly got to my feet and followed Noah up the stairs, leaving the Nick’s behind. Once we were both in my bedroom, Noah closed the door behind us and turned to face me with an accusing look.

"Does Fidelio ring any bells?" His words sent a wave of panic through my body. How did he know about that?

My palms started sweating and I nervously twiddled my fingers together for a distraction. "Uh, like Beethoven's opera?" I stuttered.

Noah rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Don't act dumb. The mask."

My throat tightened with fear and my heart raced as I tried to make sense of what he was saying. "I don't know what you mean," I said, hoping it would be enough to avoid any further questions. But a voice in my head pushed me to tell him the truth. Why was I hesitating? "Are you the missing member who wore the Volto mask?" Noah demanded, gripping my arms tightly through my dark blue long-sleeved shirt.

Fear.

Tears welled up in my eyes and my breathing quickened, the familiar signs of a panic attack creeping in. Noah noticed immediately, his hold on me loosening as he looked at me with concerned chestnut eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong, Y/N," he said softly, pulling me closer to his body for comfort.

I mumbled into his shirt, "Yes."

Noah's hand moved to the back of my head, gently holding me as we swayed together in silence.

"Have you met Vincent before?" he asked after a moment.

With tears still falling and my body trembling, I shook my head and choked out, "No, but he knows the code."

Silhouette Guilty conscience Barely hanging by a breath

“He found me at the gym,” Noah began, pulling me from his body to look up at him, “He was asking about you. With the mask, and without.”

Cut the lights and make me your oblivion And I will follow Through the phosphorescent streets I'd give anything to be in over my head

My eyes widened as I looked at him, my breathing becoming shaky and uneven. "Does he know it's me?"

Noah shook his head, "No, but his boss knows your name. And he's aware of the Fidelio syndicate."

I took a deep breath, trying to process this new information.

"He knows your name because it was on the bottle when I sold your pills; his boss recognized it." Noah sighed and stepped back, running a hand over his face in frustration.

"I knew I recognized your mask," he muttered, "But I couldn't remember from where...until Vincent told me."

Noah pulled out his phone and quickly found a news article from a few months ago. He showed it to me, revealing my identity and connection to the infamous Fidelio crime organization.

Aftermath Broken promises collapse Bodies lay like shattered glass Hold the pieces, feel how nothing ever lasts

With tunnel vision fading in How I've thirsted for the end Pull me closer till I'm in over my head

My eyes skimmed the news article, and any words I had forming caught in my throat.

Noah's eyes were sunken and empty as he looked at me. "You came to Los Angeles not long after this happened," he said quietly.

Instantly, I felt the air get sucked out of me. "I was running," I admitted.

"That's why you gave me a chance," Noah continued, taking his phone away from my face and putting it back in his pocket. "You weren't any different from me."

Past tense. He knew that things had changed for me.

To have someone truly comprehend your mind is an intimate experience, and in this moment, Noah understood every part of me.

"I ran away," I whispered, my voice breaking. "I didn't want that life anymore. I felt used, angry, and unworthy."

Noah's expression softened as he listened to my confession. He reached out and gently took my hand in his.

"I understand," he said softly. "More than you know."

I looked up at him, tears still glistening in my eyes. "What do we do now?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Noah sighed heavily. "We need to be careful. Vincent and his boss are clearly onto something, even if they don't have all the pieces yet."

I nodded, feeling a mix of fear and relief at finally having someone to share this burden with.

"We should tell the others," Noah continued. "They deserve to know what they might be getting into by associating with us."

The thought of revealing my past to everyone made my stomach churn, but I knew Noah was right. We couldn't keep them in the dark any longer.

"Okay," I agreed reluctant.

We are broken bodies bound for еach other In the impact, we become antimatter The dust hasn't settled but we feel the decay

“Your past does not define you,” Noah breathed softly, pulling me into another hug, “You were a result of circumstance…If anything it makes me respect you even more with how far you’ve come.”

Torn limb from limb, I am swearing your name Our hands collide, we brace together In the impact, we become antimatter

“I’m proud of you.”

Noah’s words rang in my ear as I cried, holding myself against his chest. My knuckles whitened through the grip I held on his sweater, my body vibrating through the pain. I’m proud of you. No one has ever said that to me.

I sobbed into his body for a few more moments as he squeezed me with compassion, taking in all the emotions I displayed for him.

“I knew what it was like being in your shoes,” I sniffed, “I’m still lost, but I’m finding my way. You deserve to escape too.”

Noah’s grip tightened before he pulled away, “I see it now.”

My mind was still racing at Vincent and the information Noah brought.

“Do you know who his boss is?” I asked Noah, even more nervous now. I didn’t know many people within the drug ring; I always played on the sidelines.

Was it someone who knew my true identity?

We're waiting in the wreckage for the sun to rise I'm staring at the fractures no one else can see, they're so complete When morning comes, will there be anyone left to find? My vision starts to surrender, as colors subvert the night

“I went by a different name,” I watched Noah carefully, “Y/N Y/L/N is my real name. Only two people back home know it, other than my extended family… that I know of.”

“I mean that’s smart. I don’t know who his boss is,” Noah said, his face contorting, “but maybe he’s tied back to you?”

I sighed anxiously. I had no idea who Vincent’s boss could be, but my stomach churned at the idea of it being one of the members of Fidelio.

“Why did you risk everything to come and help me rob the pharmacy?” Noah's grip on my hands was gentle but firm. “Especially when you chose to wear a mask.”

I shrugged, feeling the warmth spread through my hands from his touch. "I-I don't know. I couldn't just sit back and watch you stay trapped in this life. You asked for my help, and I couldn't say no. Plus, I have enough experience with this kind of thing."

One of Noah's hands moved up my arm and rested below my chin. He tilted my face up to meet his gaze, and I found myself drowning in his captivating October eyes.

Stolen by auroras, our bodies re-align Magnetic in the impulse, show me the other side Suspended in the ether, till I felt you in my chest I know we're not alone, but I'm in over my head

“I’m sorry I broke your trust. I’m sorry I didn’t ask you about the pills, and I’m sorry I stole them.” His eyes darted across my face, sincerity radiating from his pupils, “I will never do anything like that again; over my dead body.”

His words burned into my skin through the touch of his fingertips. I knew he was sorry, and I knew he felt bad. He made a mistake, he wasn’t perfect. He was only human.

“I forgive you, Noah. You need the money,” I said, “You’re almost free.”

Noah drew me in closer, his arms wrapping around my back as I leaned into his embrace. Our lips grazed against each other softly, sending butterflies flitting through my stomach. Noah's breath was warm against my skin before he pressed his lips to mine with gentle care. This kiss was unlike any we had shared before- it wasn't fueled by passion or urgency but by a deep and sincere affection. It made me feel exposed and vulnerable in the best way possible, knowing that Noah accepted me exactly as I was, just as I accepted him.

We are broken bodies bound for each other In the impact, we become antimatter

+++++

The boys arrived at Sammy’s around 9 pm, occupying seats along the bar as they waited for me. In between attending to customers and pouring drinks, they would try to engage in conversation with me.

"Folio, I'm dying to hear about the biggest fish you ever caught," I exclaimed as I poured a few shots. "But do you realize I am working right now?"

Nick scowled and I gave him a sympathetic smile. As much as I enjoyed their company, it was difficult to focus on my job with them constantly distracting me. Especially when Noah was there.

Despite trying not to, I couldn't help but steal glances at him whenever he looked away. His smile lit up his eyes and his nose would scrunch up when Nicholas cracked a joke. And every time I walked away or turned to make a drink, I could feel Noah's eyes following me.

"Well," Nick took a sip of his beer, "if you can have sex with Noah in the bathroom at work, then you can listen to my fish story."

My eyes widened along with Noah's and we exchanged knowing looks before quickly turning away in embarrassment. I turned back around to take the shots to the waiting customers. Behind me, Nicholas burst into laughter and doubled over the counter, pulling Jolly down with him.

“Dude that was so out of pocket,” Nicholas wheezed as Jolly’s chortle echoed through the busy room.

The bar was decently packed tonight with people anticipating the first live music showcase. I was just as excited; because I couldn’t wait to hear them perform somewhere outside of the basement.

My mind kept tracing back to the realization that now that the mask was back, I was going to be traceable. My entire shift I felt uneasy, worried that with every turning corner someone who knew could show up; but I pushed away those thoughts, remaining happy and supportive as the boys were going to be on stage soon.

I walked back behind the counter, smiling at them.

“Guys want a shot for some liquid courage?” I asked, holding up a bottle of tequila.

“You know it,” Folio nodded.

“We should probably do a soundcheck, yeah?” Jolly raised a brow at Noah who nodded in agreement.

“That’s what bands do, right?” Noah said, spinning on the bar chair as I placed the shot and a lime wedge in front of each of them.

“To uh-” I raised my empty glass to cheer with them, but I couldn’t finish my sentence, because they hadn’t chosen a name for the band.

“To Glass Houses?” Jolly shrugged, and Noah mimicked him. The four boys took the drink, squinting at the bitterness before sucking on the lime.

“We haven’t chosen a name… but we can go by glass houses for now,” Noah laughed, before standing up.

I smiled up at them, giving the boys a thumbs up, “Good luck gentlemen, you got this!”

“Thanks, Y/N,” Nicholas smiled back, following Jolly and Nick towards the stage.

Noah turned to look at me, “Don’t judge us too hard, ok?”

“I’m not the cool one in a band,” I chuckled as I mixed another drink, “No judgment here, only proud to say I know you personally.”

“Ah yes,” Noah licked his lips before flashing a wide smile, “personally.” His tone insinuated something much more and I couldn’t help but shake my head as my face warmed once again.

“Break a leg, as they say.” I cheered, and Noah nodded at me before meeting the rest of the boys.

+

Half an hour later it was eleven, and I asked my boss if I could be off early. She didn’t mind, so I grabbed a rum and coke before sitting at the seats that were in front of the stage.

I could tell they were nervous as each of them fiddled with their equipment. A few moments later the stereo died down and Noah tapped the microphone, his hair cascading over his face as he spoke.

“Uh, hey!” He began the feedback echoing slightly through the bar. I smiled encouragingly up at him as his eyes met mine, and he smiled back as if speaking to me.

“So this is our first gig, we don’t have an official name but call us Glass Houses for now!”

The small crowd clapped as Noah looked towards the boys, nodding at them.

“So I guess we’ll start with a cover of Come Undone by Duran Duran!”

Another applause sounded and Jolly began playing the riff before Folio’s drums and Ruffilo’s bass joined.

Noah jumped on the floor as his hair whipped around, feeling the into and the crowd cheered, before he gripped the mic stand, preparing to sing.

“Mine immaculate dream Made breath and skin, I've been waiting for you Signed, with a home tattoo Happy birthday to you was created for you.”

I bobbed my head, proud as guests began singing along. It wasn’t until Noah’s voice became deeper and raspier with the chorus that I smiled wider, heart hammering as he sang, watching me periodically from the stand.

As Noah sang, his voice growing deeper and raspier with the chorus, I couldn't help but smile wider. My heart raced as he periodically glanced at me from the microphone stand while performing. The energy in the bar was electric as the crowd sang along and swayed to the music.

I felt a surge of pride watching the boys on stage. They had practiced hard and it showed in how tight and polished they sounded together. Jolly's guitar riffs soared while Folio and Ruffilo held down a solid rhythm section. And Noah commanded the stage with his passionate vocals and magnetic stage presence.

“Who do you need? Who do you love When you come undone? Who do you need? Who do you love When you come undone?”

As the evening went on, the boys continued to cover a variety of songs, building up to their final performance of the night.

"Thanks for rocking out with us, guys!" Noah exclaimed, taking a swig from his water bottle. "We're about to kick it up a notch, so I want to see you all headbanging!"

The crowd roared in response as Noah introduced their next song, Glass Houses. I couldn't help but bang my head along with the music as the boys rocked out on stage, their hair flying wildly in every direction. Pulling out my phone, I started recording their performance.

Just as I opened my phone, I noticed I had received a text message from an unknown number. My stomach sank and fear engulfed my body as I clicked on the message.

Los Angeles, hey? It’s about time we booked a vacation anyway. See you soon, my volto x

Chapter 10

Tags: @crimson-calligraphyx @lma1986 @spicywhenspeaking @sammyjoeee @shilohrosechicken

@princessmarshmallowx @laurpartyprogram @cookiesupplier @nojoyontheburn @lacktoesandtoddlerant

@veronicaphoenix @er3nslovergirl @cncohshit @scrumptiousfestivalpost @melcchs

@flowery-mess @mentallynot-here @judging-from-afar @darkmxgician @badomensls

@hoe-for-daddywise @philomenie @xxkittenkissesxx @venturethroughtheveil @thefallennightmare

@blend-in-with-the-madness @reyadawn @deathblacksmoke @anameunmusical @sitkowski

@anything-more-than-human @into-the-grey @amelia-acero @rumoured-whispers @artificialbreezy

[moxie-girl]

DRDT EP 13/14 ANALYSIS/THEORIES

I said I'd do this once I collected my thoughts! haha Warning! This is super long…

To start, I'm going to pick apart all the stuff I predicted for ep. 13 (I'll try not to make it too long…)

Levi's Secret

Well. Levi sure did admit to. All that! I think this eliminates any last doubts I personally had about him being the killer… (your honor just because I'm a serial killer doesn't mean I killed that specific person /ref) I really like that he isn't shown as a bad person just because he lacks empathy, and he's actually actively trying to be a good person… the fact that he just admitted his secret because he thought it was the right thing to do is so funny though, there go all my theories lol! (I'm still a little worried about rule 14 though…)

Ace's (Almost) Murder

Yeah!! This is probably what we're gonna spend episode 14 talking about, with murder method and alibis, etc. I still don't think it was Nico though! (I want to say I called that it'd be relevant, but it felt a little obvious…)

The Murder Method

I think we can say this has been all figured out, with the method being exactly what several people much smarter than me all figured out.

The Possible Culprits

Rose was still acting a little odd, but I think Whit on the other hand, despite whatever all that was, is off the hook for now, so my number 1 suspect is still Hu! I'm like 90% sure she was the one who tried to kill Ace, at least, and that's become very important now!

Secrets

Well, we got all the secrets figured out! (Hu :( ) The fandom interpretation was pretty much correct, except for Teruko's (we'll get to that later…) I do hope that after this trial, some of the secrets that are not relevant/haven't really been discussed do get adressed, because I could even see them becoming motives for murder again. But also, I just want the characters to talk about them! (gimme that juicy juicy angst…)

Ace

He didn't re-open his injury or really freak out like I expected, but we got some vulnerability (and a new sprite!) from Ace, and considering next episode is probably gonna focus a ton on him, I'm still expecting at least one of the two to happen…

Teruko

Luckily for Teruko, we didn't have anything unlucky happen to her this episode! But she sure did get her time in the protag spotlight anyway, I'm glad she didn't let the mistake from last episode get her down!

☆ ☆ ☆

Also, my bingo card! I got a bingo!! (ft. my messy tiny notes if you want to read them)

A few of my other bingo predictions I'm still going to hold on to for the next (few) episodes, but now, onto some new stuff!

Final Arei Flashback

Whoooah boy was that scene a doozy. I'm starting to think David's murderous rage towards the blackened at the start of the trial was genuine, because me too, man. I'm really glad Arei got at least a little bit of closure before she died, though! She also had an interesting take on the "good person" role, something that has been very important to this trial thus far and will likely continue to be. (I'm thinking that the killer may have had a "good person"-related motivation for killing, which is why it's the chapter's overarching theme?)

Also, to adress the elephant in the room… EDEN??? Well, no wonder Xander "didn't expect her to attack [him] like that" - and from her expression I wonder if she expected it either - I'm really looking forward to learning more about what, exactly, happened before the killing game that involved them! I didn't really believe in Mastermind!Eden before this, but it's starting to look pretty plausible... (Also Xander is the king of haunting the narrative oh my god lol)

Teruko's Secret

Many of us, myself included, were hoping/guessing/assuming that when all the secrets were figured out, David would reveal that he actually had Teruko's, not Xander's. While that didn't happen, the way he reacted after she claimed "her" secret essentially confirms it, as does a lot of other evidence:

That secret being hers would complete a secret circle of Teruko -> Rose -> Whit -> David -> Teruko and a secret pair of Xander <--> Min, which makes sense considering all other secret swaps are either circles of four or in pairs.

Xander and Min would have each other's secrets logically since neither of them can receive secrets, so theirs would probably be separated from the rest.

MonoTV's line about not knowing whether they're all correct feels like a reminder/a hint that some of the secrets are incorrect, and those two feel like the most likely options.

Teruko apparently has no idea which secret is actually hers, so may have just guessed the one that sounded more like her, except we know she never knew her parents and only had one sibling (as does Charles… I wonder if he'll notice)

EDIT: I cant believe I almost forgot, but I feel like David’s attitude towards Xander (and Teruko) makes more sense with these secrets, because why would he idolize Xander if the killing game was his fault, but he would idolize him if he thought Xander was trying to end the killing game by killing Teruko, the person David now thinks/knows is at fault.

However, since David didn't claim out loud that Teruko was lying, it's likely that this piece of information will become relevant much later in the series, and he'll be keeping it to himself for now.

Veronika and Hu

When did Veronika and Hu make their pact? And how did Hu, presumably the one who wanted to make the pact, know that Veronika had her secret? Also, what on earth do you mean, Veronika, that your secret isn't the worst thing you've done???? This little section with the two of them could just be entirely innocent and a way for the dev to get the rest of the secrets on the board, and let Veronika be a little unhinged as she tends to be, but I get the feeling at least some of this is relevant. (I'm betting on either Accomplice!Veronika or Veronika's actual "worst thing" being important to a later trial…)

David

Ohhhhh, David. I feel like Veronika with how much I want to psychoalanize this guy. He is on the verge of a breakdown, and I can feel it! The question being, of course, whether Arei's death was enough to make it happen this chapter, or whether this is something that's gonna last another chapter or two before coming to a head. My money's on the second option, because I think this trial is about to be about Ace and his impending breakdown :)

I do hope after this trial we do get to see a little more of what David's actually like beyond his facades/the roles he's been playing! Also, as much as I'd like to see David survive and have to deal with the consequences of revealing his "true" personality on live television, I think it's more likely he'll go the way of DR antags trying to end the killing game via self-sacrifice.

(We also better keep a close eye on anyone who tries to befriend or help David in Ch3, because they're gonna die next! /j)

J's Morality

This is a short one, but I just wanted to comment on another analysis I saw point out that J has been one of the most vocal people anytime murder has been brought up. I think that behind her rougher personality, J is a more empathetic person, and/or has very strong morals, making her a narrative foil to Levi now, so I do hope the two of them interact in Ch3!

Whit??

Whit. Whit why do you know so much about hanging??? Being serious though, I saw someone else bring up that his mother might have died by hanging and he researched it afterwards as a coping mechanism or something? That's the saddest possible explanation, but it does make the most sense by far… I honestly don't think that Whit is the killer, because then why would he be being so helpful in figuring out the murder method, but he's still so weird and suspicious sometimes.

Nico!

Even though I still don't think it was Nico (crime scene makes more sense if seen as Nico trying to help Ace, they may have just admitted to it because it was the less confrontational option, next ep is def not the last one and I think it'll be about proving who it was other than Nico, and if you look at Nico's secret quote…) I still do hope they get the chance to get mad! Get mad at Ace! Get mad at David! Get mad at whoever the (attempted) killer was for putting the blame on them! Idk I just want them to have their moment.

☆ ☆ ☆

And finally, here are my new bingo cards for the next episode:

(I can't believe ep14 is gonna be 40 mins + there's a "non-spoiler" thumbnail rn oooooh I'm so nervous)

[solarmorrigan]

Howdy! 40. things you interupted me to say, or 6. things you said under the stars and in the grass for Steddie? Your choice!!! (also ty for the ask! I'll get right on it! :D)

Hello! I'm sorry this has taken so long, but I have at last finished! Thank you for sending a prompt, and I hope your new year has been going well :D

Prompt from this list. I chose #40. things you interrupted me to say

-

If there’s one thing Eddie can say for the ostentatious double front doors of Steve’s house, it’s that they’re great for dramatically slamming open when you’re angry and your arms are full of bleeding boyfriend.

“I can’t fucking believe you,” Eddie grumbles, dragging Steve over the threshold.

“I can walk on my own, you know,” Steve grumbles right back, halfheartedly shaking the arm that Eddie has in a vice grip. “I didn’t get hit that hard.”

Eddie ignores him. “I swear to god, it’s like you put off a pheromone that makes people want to hit you in the face.”

“Is it working on you right now?” Steve asks as Eddie drags him into the kitchen and shoves him sort-of-gently into leaning against one of the countertops.

“A little bit, yeah!” Eddie snaps.

“Then maybe I should clean myself up,” Steve says; it looks like he’s trying to smirk, but the blood smeared on his chin from the split in his lip is kind of ruining the effect, and Eddie only rolls his eyes as he turns towards the sink.

He knows Steve is trying to make him laugh, trying to get him to lighten up, and usually it would be working, but not this time. This time, Eddie is legitimately pissed, and he’s going to hold onto that.

He’s still going to patch Steve up, obviously, but still. He’s mad.

He pulls the overstocked (actually, adequately stocked, for all the shit they end up going through) first aid kit out from under the sink and then sets to running a kitchen towel under the tap. Behind him, he can hear Steve sigh, but he doesn’t turn to look just yet.

Only when the towel is wet and wrung out does Eddie come back to Steve’s side, swiping the blood off Steve’s chin and then pressing the cloth to his split lip. Steve reaches up to take the towel, freeing up Eddie’s hands to go picking through the first aid kit.

Steve then almost immediately takes the towel away to start speaking, despite the harsh glare Eddie sends his way.

“I’m trying to understand, but I honestly don’t get why you’re so bent out of shape about this,” Steve says. “Like, I’m sorry there was a fight, I know you don’t like that, but it isn’t like I was trying to start anything.”

“Well you weren’t trying not to start anything, either,” Eddie says, pulling the bag of cotton balls from the depths of the kit; he’s not sure how it always ends up at the bottom.

“I was just trying to make that asshole go away. I thought if he just saw you weren’t alone, he’d fuck off. Normally they aren’t brave when they’re not in groups.”

Eddie pauses in wrestling with the cap of the disinfectant to give Steve a flat, sarcastic smile. “Yeah, that worked out real well, didn’t it?”

To Steve’s credit, the guy who’d approached Eddie on the street spitting poison at him about the murder accusations he’d been fully exonerated of had seemed pretty surprised to see Steve step out from around the side of the van. All the same, he hadn’t listened at all to Steve’s firm instructions to walk away, and when he’d tried to further approach Eddie, Steve had stepped between them and given the guy a shove back.

Eddie had known at that moment that they were probably going to have to perform a strategic retreat, but even he hadn’t been expecting the guy’s fist to come flying at Steve as fast as it had.

The ensuing fight had thankfully been short, startled into a stop after no more than a handful of vicious blows when a passerby had started shouting at them, and Eddie had managed to shove Steve into the van and make a quick getaway in the confusion.

“Well at least I’m the only one who got hit,” Steve scoffs. “Between the two of us, I’d rather–”

“Don’t do that,” Eddie cuts in sharply.

Brows furrowed, Steve blinks at Eddie. “Don’t do wh–”

“That’s exactly why I’m pissed off!” Eddie snaps. “You just– you fucking throw yourself between other people and danger like it doesn’t even matter!”

And Steve has the audacity to roll his eyes. “It doesn’t really matter, Eddie.”

“You seriously think that? You think it’s just fine?” Eddie hisses.

“Yes! I think it’s fine, because I’m fine!” Steve gives in to the irritation that’s been edging in since the start of the conversation, snapping back at Eddie. “Nothing that bad ever happens, and I’m standing right here, clearly fine!”

“Oh, you’re fine? This is fine? Standing in the middle of the kitchen bruised and bleeding is fine now?” Eddie demands. “And all those migraines I’ve had a front row seat for, those are fine? And the dizzy spells? And the fact that your vision is so fucked that you need glasses, and you’ve been trying to hide it from the kids by wearing contacts, because you’re clearly fucking fine?”

Eddie can see Steve’s jaw clench, the way he’s biting back an immediate and vicious retort, but Eddie’s not having it. He’s worked up enough that he’s decided they���re hashing this out right the fuck now.

“Answer me, Steve.”

“No. Just drop it, Eddie,” Steve practically growls. “That shit isn’t important, okay? It’s not.”

Somehow Eddie resists the urge to pull his hair out, but he should probably put the bottle of disinfectant down before he squeezes it beyond repair. “What’s more important than your fucking brain?”

“You!”

It’s the loudest Eddie’s ever heard Steve get outside of a life or death situation. It’s certainly the loudest Steve’s ever gotten with him, and it startles Eddie into silence for a short moment.

“You, the kids, Robin – your safety! There is nothing more important,” Steve says firmly, like he’s declaring some kind of universal law. “And I can’t… there isn’t much I can do but put myself between you guys and danger. Sometimes it’s all I can do. So I do it.”

It’s said with such steady conviction that Eddie feels cold; the idea that Steve is so committed – so determined to go down as the shield is terrifying.

And infuriating.

“And just what the fuck are we supposed to do when that strategy costs us you?” Eddie jabs a finger into the middle of Steve’s chest, demanding an answer. “What are we supposed to do without you?”

For the first time since the argument began, Steve looks away. He glances down at the ugly, tiled floor just to the right of Eddie’s sneakers, shaking his head. “C’mon, you guys would get along fine without me.”

“You really think that?” Eddie can’t help the shrill, incredulous laugh that works out of his throat. “You really think we’re that goddamn heartless that we’d just get on fine if you fucking died?”

“No!” Steve’s eyes snap back to Eddie, alarmed. “That’s not– I don’t mean you’d just immediately forget about me or whatever, of course you care, I just… like, you’d be alright. There’s nothing you need me for.”

Eddie steps forward, eliminating almost all the remaining space between them, and reaches up to put his hands on either side of Steve’s face, nearly cradling it. Even now, even bewildered and angry, Steve can’t help but lean into the touch, and Eddie keeps his grip gentle as he announces, “That is bullshit.”

Steve stares at Eddie, more confused than before, maybe a little hurt, but Eddie goes on.

“You think we’d be able to just get over you? That we don’t need you? I’m not sure Henderson would ever fucking recover. Buckley would have a meltdown big enough to take anyone inside a ten mile radius out with her. And I–” Eddie breaks off because he knows he’s tearing up now; he’s always wielded his strong emotions like some kind of superpower, channeling them into making himself a better musician, a better storyteller, a bigger-than-life target that’s harder to take down, but right now he can’t tell if they’re helping make his point or if they’re just making things worse. “I love you so fucking much. And if you just– if you just leave, what hell am I supposed to do with all of that? Where am I supposed to put it?”

“Eddie…”

“I need you here, Steve. Not between me and some asshole townie, but next to me. With me. I need you to make that your priority.” In spite of how tensely he’s holding himself, Eddie’s hands are still gentle on either side of Steve’s face, careful of the cut on his cheekbone that Steve himself never seems to have noticed at all. “Please.”

Slowly, Steve’s hands slide up under Eddie’s jacket and come to rest on his waist, warm through the fabric of Eddie’s t-shirt. “I don’t… know if I know how to do that. I don’t know how to step back,” Steve admits after a minute. “But I can– I can try.”

At some point during their argument, Steve’s lip had split back open, another few fat drops of blood rolling sluggishly down towards his chin, so Eddie tilts to the side a little as he leans in and presses a kiss to the corner of Steve’s mouth.

They stand that way for longer than Eddie really cares to count, nearly nose to nose, existing in each other’s space because they can, before Eddie kisses Steve again and pulls away.

“Alright, we’re gonna patch you up for real this time, and then we’re gonna make sure you’re not concussed.”

Steve rolls his eyes, though he’s barely more than exasperated. “I’m pretty sure I’d know if I had a concussion, man. I’m some kind of expert by now.”

“Yeah, well, humor me,” Eddie says, taking the bottle of disinfectant back up and hunting for another cotton ball.

“Okay, but I don’t have a concussion.”

“That’s just what a person with a concussion would say.”

“No, a person with a concussion would say ‘I think I might have a concussion,’ and then throw up on an EMT.”

A sharp laugh barks out of Eddie’s chest, real and startled, and he looks over at Steve. “You didn’t.”

“Post-Starcourt. Truly my finest moment,” Steve says, giving Eddie a look that lands leagues short of dignified, and Eddie laughs again.

They go through cleanup process in silence after that, no longer angry, not bitter, but tired and a little uncertain.

“What do you want to do after this?” Steve finally asks when they pack away the medical supplies.

Eddie shrugs. Before shit had gone down, they’d been planning to get dinner and then maybe swing by the video store to pester Robin and rent something for the night. Their evening is wide open, now. “Dunno. You have anything in mind?”

“Honestly? I’m tired. I kind of just want to lie down.” Steve says, and Eddie’s eyes cut back to him sharply; it takes a lot to get Steve to admit he’s anything less than ready to go at all times.

“Okay…” Eddie says. “D’you… want me to go, or–”

“I want you to lie down with me,” Steve says, reaching out to grab Eddie’s hand, as if Eddie’s about to run off. “I just… want to be with you a while.”

“Oh,” Eddie breathes. “Yeah. We can do that.”

Steve’s answering smile is small, a tired thing trying not to tug on the barely-formed scab in his bottom lip, but it’s there, and Eddie’s pretty sure he loves it just for that.

[the-cookie-of-doom]

Five things Porsche learns about Kim lets gooooo

This actually started as a prompt from @shubaka forever ago (before we were friends 🥺) and I decided to torture myself by turning it into a 5+1 fic! But then I stalled out bc I didn't know what to add for the other parts klasjdhgf. It's actually still floating somewhere around here in my writing tag!

In it, Porsche is trying to befriend Kim, and Kim is horribly resistant to it. Porsche steals Chay's phone since Kim won't answer him, only for Kim to hang up as soon as he speaks, it's a whole thing. Basically Kim being forced to bond with his future brother in law <3

The first thing Porsche learns about Kim is that he's a squirrely little bastard. He weasels his phone number out of Chay - after finding out that Kinn didn't have it saved in his own phone, which will be a conversation for later - but Kim doesn't any answer any of the flurry of phone calls and texts that Porsche hurls his own way. Apparently, according to Porchay, Kim has memorized all the numbers of everyone important enough to be worth his time, and doesn't bother with anyone else.

What if someone has to borrow a phone? Porsche had asked. Sucks to be them, Chay replied, with a silly smile that might mean he's kidding, or it might mean he knows exactly how ridiculous Kim is being, but still somehow likes him anyway. Porsche would prefer the former but he's almost certain it's the latter, and he's trying to figure out exactly why Chay would like him so much. Because as far as Porsche can tell? Kim is more akin to a feral cat than anything else. Keeps his distance, sullenly watches Porsche anytime they happen to be in the same room, looking away only to scan for the nearest exit - which he takes at the earliest opportunity - and Porsche is certain Kim has actually hissed at him once. Probably not. Since Kim won't answer unknown numbers, Porsche is forced to stoop to his level. Kinn's phone is of course out of the question, which only leaves one other person, at least only one Porsche can easily access, guaranteed to have it. He's holding a struggling Porchay in a headlock while the phone dials. It only rings once. "Hello, love," Kim greets, his voice warm and syrupy and so, so fond that Porsche has to gag, just to see the way his brother flushes. "I'm sorry, Kim!" Porchay shouts. He's still struggling, digging his hands into Porsche's sides. "I tried to stop him!" "Porsche." And there it is, that flat tone Porsche is used to. "Hi, Kim, how's it going?" he asks casually. "Goodbye. "Wait, wait, wait!" It's no use. The line is already dead. Porsche releases his brother with a groan, and doesn't fight it when Chay snatches back his phone. "Why does he have to be so difficult?" "Kim doesn't like being cornered, hia," Chay scolds him. "If you just talked to him like a normal person-" "He won't let me! He keeps running!" "You're intimidating!" Porsche doesn't believe that for a second. If Kinn wasn't intimated by him, no way his feral, murderous little brother was. "Maybe you're coming on too strong? He probably think you're gonna kill him for, y'know..." "No, I don't know." Porsche side-eyes Chay, who's no longer making eye contact. "Do I need to kill him?" "No!" "Should I want to?" "Hia, No!" Chay throws his hands up. "See! This is why he won't talk to you! You're embarrassing." "Good. Also, I don't care. I want to talk to him, and unless he wants me to lock you in your room and forbit you from seeing each other for the rest of your life, he better cooperate." Chay lets out a sigh like the weight of all the world is bearing down on him. "I'll talk to him," he mumbles, sullen. 

[aishangotome]

Alfons Sylvatica: [Mad Love] Chapter 24

Chapter 23

♡———♡

(Happiness that will one day turn to tragedy…)

(What’s the point of giving such a thing?)

The warmer the memories, the greater the disappointment at their loss.

It is precisely because there is such a thing as love that we despair when we lose it.

(Wouldn’t it be much more accurate to say that I loved her properly if I were killed here and now?)

Before we make more memories.

Before I devour her love any further.

Alfons: ...............

I put my black gloves back on and confront the man aiming a gun.

"Go ahead, hero of justice. Try shooting me."

I tried to spit those words out, but---,

**flashback**

Kate: No… Please don't die.

Kate: My love, my feelings, they're still…

Kate: Please don't let them become an illusion…

**flashback over**

Alfons: ----......

The words caught in my throat.

(... This is no good.)

My past self, who threw my life away in front of her, would laugh at me now.

I couldn't even bring myself to lie and say, "Go ahead and kill me."

(I'm different from those adults. Because I have love.)

The "love" I whisper is always a lie.

I am an illusion, who you may never see again, who you may never meet again.

Even so, "there may be a moment of salvation."

That kind of hope is necessary to crawl through this bleak reality.

... Shallow, pitiful, and yet, lovely, isn't it?

I whispered empty words of love and sought only a convenient relationship without love.

I was about to disappear without loving or being loved—-.

(—You ruined everything.)

Kate: Why do you reject me like this, when all I do is love you…?

(You appeared before me,)

(and foolishly, directly, tried to shower me with love.)

My body is heavy with the love I've consumed,

and I can no longer simply vanish like an illusion.

I still don't know if we can love each other properly.

Just then---,

Kate: Put the gun down—!

Her trembling voice fell into the darkness of the night.

Alfons: ....!

Over the man's shoulder, he could see Kate aiming a gun.

Kate: If you move, I'll shoot.

(... What are you doing?)

Before he could be surprised, he was exasperated.

(Are you going to become a murderer for me?)

(If I die, you'll forget who you pulled the trigger for.)

(Only guilt will remain in your hands.)

Even though you know you might be thrown into the abyss someday, how can you love so openly and straightforwardly?

Frankly, I don't understand.

(Come to think of it, you've always been like this.)

(So serious, so stubborn, so straightforward.)

--That's why I want you.

I want you to keep looking at me straight on.

(So much that it burns into my retina.)

(Even if I die and everyone in the world forgets me--I want you to remember me vividly.)

If proper love doesn't seek anything in return, then what's nesting in my heart must be something else entirely.

(But... love doesn't need anything in return, right?)

I don't believe in those useless sermons I've heard somewhere, but seeing her throw herself into love like this, I can't help but believe.

I still don't know if I can love her properly.

(Love doesn't seek anything in return... if that's true,)

(then it's okay if I devour that proper love and drive you crazy, right?)

-

(Back to Kate's POV)

Kate: I'll go buy something. Wait here for a bit.

Alfons muttered that he was a little hungry, and I wanted to eat something delicious with him,

so I ran alone through the night to a sweets shop that was open late.

(I hope Alfons likes it too.)

(Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever asked him about his taste preferences.)

The bag was filled with the sweet smell of crumbly fudge that melts in your mouth, cupcakes with cream, and the shop's popular sweets.

(I didn't buy it now because it's hard to eat, but the apple crumble cake at that shop is also exquisite.)

(I want Alfons to try it someday.)

I'll invite him to the café next time.

As I smiled at the thought, I saw a figure in the place where I had parted with Alfons.

Kate: Al---, .....?

(There's someone else there...?)

The paper bag I was carrying fell onto the cobblestones at my feet.

The sound seemed strangely distant.

--A gun was pointed at Alfons.

Kate: …… –– !!

The moment I understood, the scene that had seemed like slow motion flashed back.

His body slowly tilting.

The memory of his shoulder collapsing on the floor, stained with blood, came back to me, and fear rose from the pit of my stomach.

(Alfons …… !)

My fingers trembled with agitation, but I managed to move them and fumble for the leg holster under my skirt.

(Who was that—no.)

(More importantly, I have to save Alfons now ……!)

Man: Then I'll kill you--and we'll become justice!

Alfons: .................

I shivered, not because I felt murderous intent from the man's back—

but because the way Alfons was looking at him with a very calm expression told me that even this was commonplace.

This must be the price of their creed of "fighting evil with evil."

If I want to stay by his side, this is the reality I can't turn away from.

And for me, who doesn't want him to disappear yet—,

I have no choice but to block the murderous intent directed at him.

Kate: Put the gun down—!

Man: ––Eh !?

I pulled my gun from the holster and aimed it from behind.

Kate: If you move, I'll shoot.

Man: Tsk…!

The man froze, then slowly lowered the arm that was holding the gun.

(... Good, it looks like I won't have to shoot.)

I relaxed a little.

At that moment—the man suddenly turned around.

Kate: ---Huh!?

The muzzle of the gun was pointed straight at me.

(No...!)

I instinctively tried to squeeze the trigger without even aiming,

Immediately after---.

Man: Ugh …… gah …… !!

A red, wet blade protruded from the center of the man's chest.

Kate: Ah …… Alfons ……

Alfons: Oops, my bad. I accidentally created a grotesque object in such a conspicuous place.

When the saber was pulled out of his body, the man collapsed on the spot.

Alfons: I need to ask Victor to clean this up as soon as possible.

Kate: ……!

He quickly sheathed his blood-soaked saber, surely to keep me from seeing it.

Exasperation and affection washed over me at his thoroughness in trying to shield me from reality.

Kate: Alfons, are you... alright?

Alfons: Of course, as you can see.

He spread his arms wide, then suddenly gave me a reproachful look.

Alfons: That aside. You were about to shoot randomly, weren't you, Kate?

Alfons: What if the trajectory had been off or the bullet had gone through and hit me?

--CHOICES--

I felt like I wouldn't hit you

I practiced, so I thought it'd be okay

I didn't have time to think

----------------

Kate: …… I didn't have time to think that far ahead.

Alfons: Oh my, how scary.

Footsteps approached, and the gun was taken from my palm.

Alfons' hand gently enveloped my empty hand.

Alfons: …… Hey, Kate.

Alfons: Please use the gun only to protect yourself, not for me.

Alfons: I'd rather not be accidentally shot by you.

Alfons: …… Besides, I've learned that I can't die so easily anymore.

The whisper echoed sweetly in my ears as "truth" –

Kate: .....!

The fear and tension I had felt a moment ago suddenly overflowed in my chest, and I collapsed on the spot.

Alfons: Oops.

The hand that had been supporting me now wrapped around my waist.

Clinging to him with my weakened hand, I raised my head and met his gaze directly.

Kate: You absolutely promise...?

"It's not so easy to die"...... It's true, that's what Alfons said.

(But, when he rushed to my side just now......)

For a moment, it seemed as if Alfons had given up on living.

With his eyes wide open, if I wasn't there by his side, holding his hand,

He would easily sway between life and death again –

Kate: You absolutely, absolutely, must not die somewhere I don't know......

Gripping his chest tightly, his eyes fell to my hand – and he laughed.

Alfons: Well, as you've seen, I'm often in life-or-death situations, so "absolutely" is difficult, but I'll do my best.

He answered so nonchalantly and cheerfully that I got angry.

Kate: This is where you're supposed to say "absolutely," even if it's a lie......

Alfons: Hehe, you're right. How unlike me, to accidentally tell the truth.

Alfons: I even missed a perfect chance to die naturally and saved you.

Alfons: Can't you trust me for the time being?

"For the time being" is too uncertain a time frame to be satisfied with.

At the very least, I want compensation for the strain on my heart when I saw Alfons being held at gunpoint and my breath almost stopped.

Kate: ......Next year.

Kate: If you promise to go to the pie-throwing festival with me next year, I'll believe you......

Alfons: .....

Alfons: Heh...... Ahaha! You're really such a fool, aren't you?

Kate: You won't promise?

Alfons: Yes, yes, I will. Let's get messy together next year too.

But the trouble is, promising next year makes me want to be with you even more.

Kate: ......What about the year after next?

Alfons: Well, you see, we can promise that next year if we're still alive, right?

Kate: You're saying things that make me uneasy again......

Alfons: Hehe...... I can't help it, I want to see that pouting face.

Kate: ......

He poked my lips, and the corners of my mouth tingled.

Even if reality is a cruel darkness.

His gray eyes reflect me.

Just that makes me believe that the light of hope continues to shine.

Alfons: Well then...... I think I've come to somewhat understand this "proper love" you speak of.

Alfons: ......Shouldn't we end this wholesome date about now?

-

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Mad Love Chapter 24 Premium Story

If you’d like to support my translations, feel free to buy me a coffee here! :)

[roadkillremi]

SEQUEL to - Please, Don't kill me, Mr.Ghostface

Randy Meeks x Fem!Reader

Masterlist Part 2 on Masterlist

Warnings : mentions Sex, language, mentions dying, mentions Killing, Reader has hallucinations (If I miss anything let me know)

I do NOT support killing

Summary : After the 1996 Woods borrow murders, will you move on? Attending college with some old friends and making new ones. Your past stalking you at times making everything difficult.

"Can you tell me what you were thinking when he was going to kill your friends?"

The clocked ticked loudly on the wall, you fidgeted picking your nails.

"Disgusted, trapped, with myself to be exact. If I didn't say anything I'd get hurt. If I did if get hurt. There's nothing I could do about it."

She nodded scrabbling on the notebook paper.

"And it's said you stabbed Billy Loomis 17 times. Is that correct?"

"I didn't count. I just... Did it. It was either that or die."

"I know."

"I don't wanna talk about Billy." You looked out the window not being able to face her.

"Let's talk about your visions then.".

You nodded still looking out the window with a soft gaze.

"I got a call from your Aunt. She said according to the teacher you started yelling in class. Cause you saw... Them.".

You nodded, "Yes."

"They're dead they can't hurt you."

"I know. But nightmares can't die."

She sighed, "You're suffering from PTSD, it's not strange to suffer after a traumatic event. Sydney, Randy, and Gale are doing fine. Sydneys getting through it maybe you can talk to her-"

"Sydney's rich and popular. She has the ability... To be loved easily."

"You don't know Sydney's life-"

"But I know mine!" You turned to her.

"Tell me about school."

"People look at me like I'm a zombie or something. I mean since someone died the exams aren't a big deal... People think I'm a killer... Ever since Gale... Did a short read of her upcoming book..."

"Self defense is not murder."

"Yes, I know! Still hurts. The only reason I got into college is because of being a victim. I don't even know what to major in."

"Don't you like movies? Major in directing."

"that's Randy's thing. I love movies, but I don't wanna make them."

"just come up with a list and think it through. How's your sleeping been?"

You looked down at your lap, "It's hard to sleep. I have bad dreams and wake up.".

"have you tried a-"

"Routine. Yes. Sometimes Randy spends the night."

She raised her eyebrow, "Not like that!".

"Mhm." She wrote something down.

"Do you think im a killer?" You looked at her deeply. She looked up at you and didn't speak for a moment.

"I think you're an angry child with a rough past seeking the love you didn't have."

"That wasn't my question."

"No, you're not a killer."

"You hesitated."

"This isn't about me. Its about you."

Silence filled the room back up again.

"I'm scared I'll kill again."

You folded your graphic tees into a box. Music played in the background as you packed up. The last week you've been packing for college. Surprisingly Sydney asked to be roommates, you said yes.

Your room was almost empty now, you sat on your bed.

"Finally running away from here?"

Billy appeared next to you, he leaned down to see your face.

"You're not real."

"I'm real to you."

You didn't look towards him, you closed your eyes trying to focus on breathing.

"You can't shut me out!" He yelled.

"Go away, Billy!" You yelled back. Your Aunt rushed in at the sound of you yelling.

"Everything alright?"

"Yeah, just a nightmare." You stood up.

"Okay. Well Randy called, he's on his way. So get ready to pack up his car." She gave a pathetic smile and walked away. You sighed putting shoes on before taking boxes near the front door. Randy pulled up walking in the house, ever since the killing he seemed to peak. He had more muscle and wore shirts that showed it, he even grew out a small beard. He wasn't the only thing that change in the summer though.

People around you took note about how you seemed more free than usual. You got to dress in clothes without Billy saying you looked whorish. Not only that but you randy had sex, a lot. In his car, in your room, even at his work. There was of course close calls but nothing to serious. He got better at sex the more you two did it. Sometimes it was passionate and loving, others were more rough and animalistic.

"God, I'm not gonna have room for all this!" Randy exclaimed mentioning the boxes. You rolled your eyes, "It's everything, clothes, bedding, school supplies, all of it.".

Randy grabbed a box letting out a small huff. You patted his back, "you got this.".

"You better help that boy!" Your Aunt yelled out.

"Yeah!" Randy mocked smiling. You grabbed a box following him to the car. The trunk had all of Randy's bags stuffed into there. He placed the boxes in the back seat. You huffed back and forth between the car and the house.

"That's all of them!" You yelled out to Randy. He slammed the car door shut, "Thank God!" He cried over dramatically.

Your Aunt hugged you tightly sniffling, "Call when you can. Stay safe.".

"I will, I love you." You hugged her back tightly.

Months later

You banged on Randy's door, "Randy Meeks! Get your ass up!". He got drunk with his roommate, Paul last night. He called you slurring his words telling you how much he loves you. He opened the door, "Sorry, I was getting dress!".

"You look like shit." You laughed. His hair a bit messy and bags under his eyes.

"You look amazing too, darling" he said in a British accent.

You walked to class with him holding his hand. Some girls snickered at you as you passed them. Randy glanced at them, "What's their problem?".

"Don't worry about it. You know how some women are, don't grow out of the popularity in high school." You sighed.

"Pfft, yeah tell me about it." He said leaning close to your ear. His hot breath tickling the side of your face.

A frisbee passed by in front of you two, "Couldn't have caught it?! Dick.." some guy said running after it.

"See?" Randy gestured. You rolled your eyes, "Come on Mr.Meeks we have a film class to get to!".

"You know how I get when you call me that." He joked. You jokingly gave him a look, "You'll just have to rub it out in the bathroom.". He smiled hugging you from behind picking you up a bit.

"Or I could fuck you when Paul's gone"

You laughed tapping his arm to let you go. "Poor Paul needs a break from us pounding like dogs in there." You said walking into the building. Randy caught up with you, "Well this dogs ready to pounce.". He sprayed mouth spray in his mouth winking at you.

[mauesartetc]

I've observed that some HB fans with trauma feel so attached to the characters and the show that they defend every writing decision and take any criticism as a personal attack. I can understand relating to and feeling sympathy for a character because of personal experiences, but Helluva Boss is a terrible media for emotionally vulnerable teenagers and young adults to uncritically consume.

It just pisses me off that so many people will praise HB for representing abuse with Stolas and Stella, yet ignore the unhealthy relationship dynamics, abusive behaviors portrayed in a positive light and bad writing in general.

Real talk: Speaking as an emotional abuse survivor myself, it pisses me off to no end that Helluva Boss has failed to represent this subject with any sensitivity or subtlety.

It's important to remember that abusers are often charming and charismatic, and they exhibit positive traits (at least early on) that make the other person want to salvage the relationship.

What the hell are Stella's positive traits? In what little screentime she's had thus far, she's been elitist, rude, destructive, pouty, murderous, sadistic, and a little stupid (failing to consider that if Stolas died, Octavia would inherit all his wealth and leave her with nothing). While there's evidence to support the claim that she acted like she was in love early on in her marriage (she's smiling in the Loo Loo Land photo, sleeps in the same bed as Stolas in a flashback and has stated she used to pretend to want to fuck him), there's nothing to suggest her personality was ever anything but odious. Even when Stolas first sees her photo as a child, it portrays an awful little brat.

It's pretty clear Stolas has never had any reason to love her, so why does he stay?

He says it's because he wants Octavia to have "a normal life", aka a two-parent household. But how exactly does that benefit her when those parents are constantly fighting? You might think "Well, that's a lot of parents' excuse for not getting divorced, but that doesn't mean it's right", but the show never challenges his stance on this. There's never a moment when he realizes, "Oh shit, maybe my definition of 'normal' is actually hurting my daughter". He only declares he wants a divorce after his first tryst with Blitzo and on the balcony when he tells Stella he "can't do this anymore". He's doing it entirely for his benefit, not because it would improve Octavia's life.

(And because the writers blatantly favor Stolas and everything he says, I have to wonder if they actually believe the standard nuclear family represents a "normal"- implied in this case to be good and desirable - life by default, regardless of how miserable everyone in the family is. On the off-chance that is indeed the case, as someone who lost a parent at a young age: Fuck all the way off with that, show.)

Also, we're not lead to believe divorce was never an option at any point. If a royal in this world gets divorced, what are the consequences? Would Stolas lose his title? Would he be executed? The whole point of this marriage was to have a kid, so literally what was stopping them from splitting up after she was born (other than the bullshit "normal life" excuse)? Why can't Stolas just visit Octavia? Why does he have to live with her? Plenty of kids with divorced parents still get quality time with both of them. The solution was right there all along, but Stolas felt the need to wait until his daughter was seventeen to split with his wife? For some reason?? The writers try to pass it off as some noble sacrifice he's making, but in reality, he's just being a dumbass.

Okay, so maybe he's just afraid to leave, like many abused people are. I'll have to call bullshit on that, since he never even tried to keep his affair a secret. He's openly flirted with Blitzo in public (at Loo Loo Land and the Harvest Moon Festival, in front of dozens of witnesses) and met Blitzo at a couples-only nightclub, where they sat in plain view of everyone else there. Couldn't even bother using your powers to disguise yourself, bud? Or does that only work when it's convenient to the plot? If Stolas were the least bit threatened by Stella or what the Goetia family would think, he wouldn't be this bloody obvious. While it's possible this is a self-sabotage sort of thing, the show has never given us evidence that Stolas has those kinds of tendencies.

In short, Stella's a hamfisted, stereotypical portrayal of an abuser, and Stolas just doesn't come off like the abuse affects him at all (or at least not until the episode where it needs to for plot reasons). Obviously not all abusers or abuse survivors in real life will fit into the same mold, but there's straight-up zero logic to these characters' behavior. I've mentioned this very astute video before, but here's one quote that perfectly sums up how poorly this show handles character motivations:

There's a... character consistency issue that results from having these characters exist only to dispense abuse. Their actions stop adding up... [Stella's] thing is that she wants to be away from Stolas... Why does she repeatedly show up to the house just when Stolas is around to torment him? This behavior is quite strange. She does not like him. She does not want to be around him... We're to assume that Stella wants to feel mad, wants to feel bad, and that's what she wants to do with her life.

This isn't how real people act. And of course fictional characters aren't real people and any sense of agency they have is just an illusion at the end of the day. But ideally they should feel real to the audience.

I now fully understand why I was leery of these writers potentially exploring a character's addiction. It's because they've shown they can't be trusted to give serious subject matter the care and weight it deserves.

[randomidiocyncrazies]

(this post assumes that Kazui is gay, or some flavor of LGBTQ)

The thing is, I think Kazui's depiction of himself in Cat as a monstrous murderer is exaggerated by his self-loathing, but I also think it was probably a very abrasive conversation when he came out to Hinako. (tbh I actually kind of think he didn't intend to come out to her, and it just kinda happened in the heat of the moment*? But I don't have concrete evidence of this theory beyond his inability to talk about what's going on with him without several layers of indirect inferences + begging Es to claw past his lies/free him from them, and his overwhelming shame at the immutable truth about himself that he's hiding.)

*That said, his distorted line for T1 is "I'm such an idiot, why did I have to dream?" so that could imply he told the truth (dreamed of being accepted as his true self?) of his own volition

I interpreted the sequence of events in his MVs as him asking for a divorce without actually telling her why, which leads to her trying to save their marriage:

Coupled with the lyrics in half, I think at this point Hinako doesn't know Kazui's truth, so she's trying to comfort him without knowing what the underlying issue is. She is depicted as supportive in half, so I think she might be saying stuff like "tell me what's bothering you honey; we can fix this together as husband and wife, I'll always love you" without knowing that it's actually NOT something that could be 'fixed' despite Kazui's efforts all these years. The apple (a symbol of Kazui being someone/wanting something "outside of the norm"**) is in the spotlight because it's the looming specter in this conversation that Kazui cannot escape from—he's asking for a divorce because he's a green apple (or desires a green apple) instead of a red apple; it's the underlying cause of why they're having this conversation in the first place, even if Hinako isn't aware of it yet.

**while green apples certainly exist, most people think of red apples as the default

If Hinako tried to console her husband without understanding the root of his turmoil, imo it's not unlikely that she might've inadvertently said something that set Kazui off. She either said something that he perceived as naively optimistic/innocently cruel in her attempts at consolation (e.g. "whatever it is, we can fix it together as loving husband and wife"), or something that made him feel even guiltier (e.g. "I'm not doing enough to share your burdens, I'm sorry" or "I'll always love you")—most likely both. At this point Kazui had been lying for the vast majority of his life; he is excruciatingly aware that he cannot change his nature, even though he's ashamed of it and desperately wished he could change and "be normal". The fact that he's asking for a divorce now despite the aforementioned factors means he's been pushed to a point that he cannot abide by maintaining the lie anymore. So Hinako's empty reassurances would be aggravating, because it's something Kazui already KNOWS he cannot change, and they cannot overcome his sexuality (that he already hates himself for) "as husband and wife."

Hence lashing out, both to be self-destructive (he's so torn up about being "not normal" that he hates himself for it and feels like he's a villain) and also to express his frustration at the situation/at her. "Oh, you said you'll always love me no matter what? Well guess what, I never actually loved you! You said we can 'fix' this as 'husband and wife'? I tried to 'fix' myself for YEARS and I still can't make myself love you; in fact, I'm in so much pain being in this farce of a marriage and playing the role of a Good Husband for you that I need to leave. I am not attracted to you—never had been, never will be—so spare me the empty platitudes of us 'overcoming this as a couple' when you don't know ANYTHING about how I feel" etc.

The combined shock of 1) the ideal husband she loves had been lying the entire time during their courtship and marriage, 2) the ideal husband she loves seemingly*** being so hurt by her love and so contemptuously dismissive of the life they have together, and 3) that she's oblivious to all of this even though she thought she knew him better than anyone would've been devastating. And they might very well have been drinking (in celebration???) before this conversation, since they had the same clothes they wore in the champagne scene (though I think it's also possible that these are just their 'default' domestic clothing). If they had been drinking and/or celebrating beforehand, it's plausible that impulsive decisions that would've never been made sober were acted upon—Hinako might not have committed suicide**** (i think it was very spontaneous/not premeditated), and maybe Kazui wouldn't have came out (or would've been more in control of his emotions and/or circumstances when doing so).

***only seemingly, because we do see that he cares about her, just not as a romantic partner

****heavily implied that's how she died, though there is speculation that it was an accident, or that Kazui had pushed her (I personally don't find the pushing theory convincing/plausible with the evidence we have so far)

anyway. brb crying about the mukuharas forever.

[rickmymanrick]

rick’s POV(ch 6 | one rule)

here's a little look at what's going through rick's mind after the lori/shane bombshell. this should give more background to rick and daphne's 'relationship' before the fall.

also take it easy. this was written very quickly without much revision. just a fun little dive into rick's thought process during this scene

"Oh, really? Does a brother fuck your wife?"

I didn't understand what Daryl had said at first. The shock kept me rooted in my spot as he scoffed and then stormed off into the trees.

Does a brother fuck your wife?

A rage crept in as Shane began to shuffle uncomfortably, mere feet away from me. He wasn't even trying to deny it.

"She... Lori... she thought you were dead, man."

I suddenly knew this wasn't just sex. The first thing he'd done was defend her honor rather than his own. Was he in love with her?

My jaw clicked as I clenched my teeth together angrily. The betrayal was almost enough to blind me in rage. Our marriage was on the rocks for almost a year before my coma, but we were still married. Someone I'd trusted with everything knew the mother of my children intimately.

"Did you?" I bit out. After all, he was the one who had last seen me at the hospital.

"You heard 'em. I—I tried, Rick! I saw you every chance I got—"

His words flew into one ear and out the other. I couldn't think of anything but how much I wanted to knock his teeth out.

"—we were comforting each other the only way we knew how—"

Holding onto my sanity was surprisingly difficult. I always had a feeling Lori had her affections directed elsewhere. All our arguments and fighting, the things she'd say in front of Carl— the thought of infidelity wasn't out of reach. I'd even come to accept the possibility of it, because outside of my house, I wasn't doing much better. Could I even be upset with her? I never cheated on my wife, but my attention had been fixed on another for quite some time.

"I thought you were gone." It was the only thing I could manage to say, if I wasn't going to send my fist flying into his face, at the very least I could try to express the hurt. He needed to know that this broke everything we had.

"After I woke up in that hospital bed, when I saw what the world had become. The first thing I thought about was Carl and Lori. And then you. Our unit. For a moment, I thought you were all dead—" The words got stuck in my throat as I recalled the horrible thoughts that plagued my mind when I woke. How I mourned my best friend.

I could barely stand to look at his face. My eyes stung and I forced myself to look him squarely. He did this to me. He did.

"Our marriage... fell apart a long time ago," I shook his head and clenched my jaw. "But that doesn't make this okay."

He knew this already. Hell, if I recalled correctly, it was the grand topic of our final conversation before the world went to shit.

Shane was normally so outspoken, always had a goddamn thing to say. A quip. A disagreement. Always something.

But now he was deadly silent, guilt must be brewing in him. Good.

I was only able to push the murderous thoughts out of my mind when I remembered that my son was only alive because of him and Daphne. It was the only thing sparing him. From what? I wasn't too sure.

"I appreciate what you did. Saving 'em. I owe you everythin' but—" I forced through my teeth, digging my nails into my palms.

In this moment, I realized I couldn't confront Lori. I couldn't destroy whatever semblance of family we had left. It's a miracle we were still alive and that we found each other. That I found my boy.

We're still out in the woods, unprotected and exposed. Tomorrow was not promised. And until it was, until I could guarantee my family would live to see more sunrises, I couldn't destroy what they had built here. Otherwise, we would not survive.

"I get it, man. I'll go back to camp."

"Uh— yeah, yeah," I said dismissively. My anger could only hold off for so long.

As soon as he stomped away, I allowed myself to glance at his retreating back, confirming what I suspected since yesterday afternoon. The look on his face— the shock of seeing me— it wasn't happy. Maybe, just maybe, part of him wanted me gone for good.

The thought sent my fist barreling into the nearest tree trunk, a frustrated yell tried to escape but I kept my lips firmly shut. I didn't need Shane coming back, if he cared at all that is.

Somewhere in the jumbled thoughts that were fighting to make some sense of anything in my mind, I remembered the one thing that had brought me any type of comfort when Lori and I would argue. Which was practically everyday.

"How long you been there?" I asked softly. I knew she would hear me. I'd seen her brown eyes through the bush as Daryl led us farther from camp.

The branches rustled a bit.

"I was here first," her voice was defensive. I couldn't blame her. Witnessing what she just witnessed.

I tried to spot her curls through the bush but she seemed to have camouflaged herself within the leaves.

"You were. I saw you just before Daryl left."

And out she finally came, her cheeks flushed and her hair in a bit of a disarray, but the sight of her brought back memories from the station. At work, she usually had her hair pulled back, two curls framing her face while she sipped a steaming hot coffee. She was always there before me so I would choose the long way to my assigned desk, which was in a completely different wing, just to catch a glimpse at her. The sight of her was a breath of fresh air after rough nights of arguing with Lori. Daphne had an aura to her that made just about everyone gravitate to her. Bitterly, I also remembered that Shane tainted most of my memories of Daphne Ayala.

Always lingering around her desk, conveniently posed right in front of her whenever I would walk in. It wasn't odd for her to be busy with another officer, most of the department had a crush on her as grown as we all were. But Shane's appearances always seemed deliberate.

"I was picking berries. Found the patch a few weeks ago," she explained, showing me her pouch of fruit.

How odd it was to see her outside the precinct. Her hair was down, curls reaching her lower back as she brushed them away from her eyes. Eyes that weren't framed by her usual eyeliner style.

She looked so jarringly beautiful in a world so terribly gruesome.

I hoped my anger would mask how unsettled I was that we were actually speaking, after years of observing her from afar. Did she know I was as hopelessly attracted to her as nearly everyone else in the KCPD?

"I can leave you alone."

I realized with a jolt I've spent so much time staring that I'd forgotten to speak.

"I'll go back to camp—"

"No." I said more assertively than I meant to. I didn't want her to slip away again. She was always a mystery I wanted to solve but I forced myself to stay away. Despite the problems at home, I was still married. And now? Well, it was all in shambles.

"Oh, um, okay."

"Do you..." What am I trying to say? My mind went blank. But I looked at Daphne's eyes obscured by her curls and her work updo came to mind. And then her shadow, Shane. "Did you know?"

"No," she said looking rather uncomfortable.

"I keep wondering... if I have the right to even be upset. I wasn't a good husband to her, I know this, and you're the last person I should be telling this to but—" I cut myself short, the words slipping past my lips before I could think them through. I practically gave myself away and it was wishful thinking to hope that it had flown over her head. Daphne was a detective for crying out loud.

"It's fine. I know this can't be easy for you. To wake up to... this."

I scoffed. It wasn't easy to see the world flipped upside down sure, but the most selfless person was standing right in front of me. The one who had saved my family's lives at the risk of her own. She was keeping them and the rest of the camp alive. People she didn't even know.

"I woke up and the hardest part was done. Seeing the world change— changing with it— becoming the leader of a group you had no responsibilities or ties to. You, you did the hard part."

She seemed taken aback. "Oh— did Shane—?"

"Shane didn't hafta tell me nothin'. Lori and I talked last night. She told me everything that happened since the day I got shot." Saying their names left a bad taste in my mouth. "I guess I have a lot to be thankin' you for. You saved my family. That is something I will never be able to repay."

I placed a hand on her shoulder. "You have my gratitude."

"Carl's a great kid. And Lori's my friend. I would do it a million times over."

She's a goddamn angel. I studied her face in awe, something I'd never been able to do in the years I admired her from afar. There was just something about her.

Her nose crinkled awkwardly as her brown eyes struggled to look into mine. Her lips turned up into a tiny smile. I had to remind myself that I'm married and step away respectfully before it got weird.

I brought myself to the ground, legs feeling weak from everything I'd endured in the past 48 hours. Daphne sat next to me.

"What... what do I do?" I asked her quietly.

She's a detective. She's light years smarter than I'd ever be.

"You're asking me," she said carefully.

I shrugged and looked at our surroundings obnoxiously.

"I can't really tell you what to do, Rick."

I rolled my eyes as I thought of Shane's guilty expression. "What I really want to do is break his jaw in. Watch him choke on his teeth."

"He deserves it," she agreed with an irritated tone.

Now that I thought of it, I hadn't seen Shane and Daphne interact once. A stark contrast to his relentless pursuing day in and day out at work. Maybe they had a falling out.

I sighed. "I don't know how to go on. How to look him in the face. We were brothers," I got angrier as I went on. "He was my best friend. He knew."

"He knew?"

"He was the one person I confided in. I told him about Lori and I. I told him when things started going south. I never thought in a million years I'd have to worry."

"We never do. They fill our heads with all these stupid promises and reassurances just to stab you right in the back anyway," she said.

I would've paid more mind to her comment but I was too wrapped up imagining how Lori and Shane would sneak off. How she'd leave Carl alone with people she barely knew.

Carl.

He's wrapped up in the middle of this. I'm sure he noticed all the fights between us. Lori never bothered to keep our discussions private. But even if I entertained the thought of just destroying whatever was left of our marriage, I couldn't do it now. Not while he needed his parents more than ever.

"Carl... he's so young," I expressed. I felt guilty that I was rambling so that's all I said. I wasn't sure why I was telling her so much— I'm not a particularly open person— but it's easy to talk to her. Natural even.

"Rick, the world isn't the same anymore. It doesn't excuse Lori's actions or Shane's, but all of that doesn't matter so much when you're trying to keep yourself from getting eaten by dead cannibals. I can't tell you what to do but in the grand scheme of things, I think Carl will learn to understand."

She's right, I thought. But things were too unstable, we were living life one day to the next... it had to wait until we weren't constantly looking over our shoulders.

I stared at the blueberries, willing myself to think of anything else.

"I've been thinking about the man we left behind," was the first thing I could think of. The guilt kept me up half the night.

Daphne looked over at me with a shocked expression. "You can't be serious."

Her reaction made me frown. "It isn't right. Leaving him up there to die."

"He would do the same to any of us. You just escaped the city. Survived alone against all odds. You're willing to risk that for a douchebag like Merle?"

I was confused, more shocked than anything. It didn't sit right with me— it was practically murder. She must know this. Douchebag or not, it would stain us forever if we left the man to cook in the sun.

"This— what we have here— this is what we focus on. It's unfortunate but Merle dug his own grave. It isn't worth risking your life, Rick."

No, I wouldn't accept that. And I didn't think she could live with that either. My face twisted uncomfortably as I tried to rationalize. She's right that it would be putting my life on the line, but it would kill not only me, but her, if I don't go. All those years of watching from a distance, I knew she had a big heart.

Her callousness and the iciness in her tone was so different from her usual behavior. I didn't like it, but I could see she was looking out for me—

"MOM! DAD!"

The words disappeared from the tip of my tongue. We both shot up with only one thought in mind— Carl.

[layuhsblog]

lucas x male reader?

story: m/n gets kidnapped by a mafia group, and their leader, yukhei, wants the money that the former's family owes him - it doesn't come, as they don't care about m/n.

this makes yukhei have a change of heart.

(lucas is not really a jerk, he's just trying to do his job)

Hii, I made it into a chaebol m!reader x mafia leader! lucas fic,

hope you don't mind. I've never written mafia au. So this is pure shit I'm really sorry. I'll rewrite it and make it better once I have more experience.

Thankyou for requesting and reading it. ALSO- this was an amazing request. Renegade is such a bop and he LOOKS SO FUCKING HOT I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. Thankgod there are still Lucas stans on Tumblr.

Anyway hope you tolerate this fic T-T

REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN BTW!!

dk the word limit prolly 1k words

warnings: kidnapping, stockholm syndrome???, soft boy mafia lucas, angst, fluff?, small mention of religious trauma, family's a bitch, drugging, panic attack, hyperventilating, thoughts about death, mentions murder, daddy issues?, death, swearing, badly written threats, winwin is a dick but he loves you :), Lucas being HOTTIE MAFIA LEADER OOF, kissing.

To myself- Lucas x M!reader

-

Coming out to your orthodox religious family was not easy. On the surface the media thinks you're this wholesome rich family but the truth was much deeper and darker than it appeared.

You were sitting in a bar drinking away your problems when you were approached by a cute gentleman.

"Hi, rough day? May I buy you a drink?" he smiled at you

you tiredly sighed,

"If you're trying to get me into your bed, not happening."

He chuckled,

"Let me just buy you a drink, I'll walk away if you're not interested." You scanned his face, not so discreetly.

He looked cute and shy..you didn't see anything shady about him. You cautiously eyed his again and nodded. He showed a toothy grin at that.

"I'm Winwin by the way!"

"___" you replied and for the first time that night showed a slight smile.

_

A few hours had passed and Winwin started to grow on you, a couple of drinks more and your eyes started getting droopy.

Before you could call your driver to pick you; you passed out.

-

When you woke up, you had no idea where you where. Immediately you sat up and met with a throbbing headache. When you tried to get up, you realised your hands were tied. Panicked you screamed and screamed for someone to help you. You screamed till you lost your voice, and burst out crying. You had no idea what happened to you, what they'll do to you or if you'll even get out of here alive. All those thoughts became too mouth and you felt a bitter metallic taste in your mouth as your throat ran dry. You couldn't breathe. The worst of all, the room was empty except for a clock in it, it had been a long time since you were here and you were almost sure no one was looking for you.

"Ya done screaming or should I give you more of a reason to cry about?" You did not realise someone else was in the room with you. It was Winwin. Your heart sank.

"Y-you! What have you done to me!? Let me out! P-please." The last word came out as a weak plea and he laughed at your pathetic state,

"Can't, boss' orders. Yknow if he hadn't told me to bring you to him, I'd might as well taken you out on that little date." He winked at you and you were filled with disgust as fresh tears threatened to spill out from your eyes.

Your chest, throat, stomach everything hurt. You felt like you could throw up any minute.

It took you 15 minutes to calm yourself down all the while Winwin was looking at you with an amused look on his face, watching your every move like a hawk.

You were just blankly staring at a wall. The worst that can happen is they'll kill you. Who cares if you die?

-

Five hours had passed since then and you were doing nothing, feeling nothing so you closed your eyes and tried to sleep on the dirty floor. Winwin stepped out of the room to call someone, he did not realise the door is not soundproof. It sounded like he was threatening someone, probably your family you presumed.

-

"We have your son motherfucker. If you don't fucking pay us back you'll find his body in your front gate. Have fun when the headlines say 'L/n Family's Youngest son found dead on their door. It'll be fun seeing police raid your family seeing all the black money you have." he laughed

"Do what you want with him. You can't hurt my business. You're a nobody." and he heard the beeping of the phone.

-

The door, half broken and rusty slowly creaked opened and the fear you felt when you first came here returned. Winwin stood up straight and greeted the man. He had long black hair, his gaze cold, almost predatory.

"Did you hear back from those bastards?" he spat out, glaring at Winwin.

There was an awkward silence from his side and he eyed him and looked back at you. Immediately understanding what it meant, you weakly laughed.

The whole situation was so funny to you when it finally clicked.

You came from a famous family full of businessmen. People so influential that every move you made had to be absolutely perfect- however to them, you were far from it. The first shock came to your father when you were fifteen years old and told him you wanted to be an artist, that you had no interest in the business. Second and the final straw was 2 days ago when you came out to him and he disowned you.

To think such educated men could have such shallow ideals.

You remembered your mother, how loving she was. If she were here she'd definitely accepted you. You remembered how she told you crying how all this success was a lie and she wanted you to stay as far away from it as possible, afterall you weren't like your father and brothers. You remembered how you saw her that night for the last time. You remembered how you heard them fight in the other room, your brothers had left the country to pursue their studies. You remembered how you heard her scream but your door was locked from the outside. You remembered vaguely seeing a blood stain in the carpet which magically disappeared the next day. You remembered the police labelling the case as a suicide, how there was literally no evidence found- how each and every corner of the house was checked except the locker your father held the keys to.

The realisation made your blood run cold.

Your father had borrowed a large sum of money from someone years ago to start his business. He always assured your mother he'd paid them back. The situation in front of you made it clear that your father has always been a selfish bastard.

The thoughts, the questions, the suspicions hit you like a train wreck and you started laughing loudly. Both men looked at you puzzled.

"I cannot, that fucker- no one's coming for me, he killed her and he'll kill me too. I'm gonna die here anyway. That's so funny. Its always been fucking money. It's more important to him than fucking accepting his son and supporting his wife." You said between your laughs as tears spilled through your eyes

The man knelt down, his eyes softened a bit, voice comforting yet distanced, he motioned Winwin to get out of the room and spoke,

"Hey, calm down. You're not gonna die here. I'll take care of him. I'm sorry I involved you into this. I'll let you go. Just an advice, don't go back there. Get your own place, you have a chance to disappear from his life. Take it. I'm Yukhei by the way, you can call me Lucas." he smiled a bit.

You blinked in confusion, looking for any signs of humour in his words but there were none. He sounded genuine. It puzzled you how he could switch up so quickly. It made you curious to know more about him. Lord have you gone insane.

"What if I don't wanna leave. What if I want to help you get rid of him?"

And he only smiled.

"I'm not alien to murderer, rich heartless fathers." he joked,

"And I thought I was unique." he laughed at your comment. He has a nice laugh. You thought. You wanted to hear it more. Its funny to you how you feel safer with a literal mafia leader than you've ever felt with your father.

You talked some more, growing fonder of him each passing second. You realised he's not as cold as he appears. He was just doing his job and truthfully your father was just a huge dick. He has such a bright smile. His eyes had this spark when he was talking about the people he works with. He was making your heart beat faster.

He took you to his room, gave you clean clothes to change into and made you eat.

"You know, Winwin likes you- he felt bad about whatever he did." you nodded as he continued, the room suddenly felt hotter than it was as he leaned closer,

"Too bad, I want to keep you to myself" He whispered in your ear before he held your chin and connected your lips together.

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