#but i’m not spending all hours of the day seething with rage because some people like my least favorite ofmd character

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

whoohoo seeing with my own eyes people saying that “laying the groundwork for a toxic environment that enables doxxing” is worse than Actually Doxxing someone

like the problem there (aside from the obvious) is that the line between “laying the groundwork for harassment” and “commenting on a problematic fandom trend,” (the latter of which is something fans on both sides of this debate have done) is not gonna be easy to define. and once people realize they can just send themselves hate to try and shut down anyone who has an opinion they don’t like it’s gonna take fandom wank to a new level of endless masturbatory bullshit

i truly hope the whole “negative metas about X character gives antis the rhetoric they need to justify harassment and therefore the people who make those posts are responsible for that harassment” take (aka the Stochastic Terrorism argument) lives and dies within the confines of the ofmd fandom bc if that escapes to the general fandom ecosystem there will be no end to people sending themselves anons or making throwaway accounts specifically to be like “i got hate bc you made a post about how my favorite character is sexist!” or whatever. like we’re about to take twelve steps back on the conversation about how fandom continually fixates on white male side characters to a very disproportionate degree if we don’t get this one under control.

[rezzyromance]

Idk if this is how you request things or if it's just asking, BUT-

How would the Lords react to an S/O that's usually the chillest person that you will ever meet (not to be confused with a pushover because they are not), they've never seen them even mildly annoyed when something bad happens. But then something happens and, turns out, the S/O is utterly TERRIFYING when they're mad.

Hope this makes sense!

Aw man I'm gonna feel awful scaring Moreau and Donna :(

Alcina

You're relaxing on a beautiful morning. The sun is shining through the window just enough to warm the room but not hurt your eyes. You hadn't even changed out of your sleep wear. "How are you feeling, my dear?", a sweet voice rang from the doorway. You were sitting in your favorite chair near the window. You turn and smile at her. She walks over and rubs your face in her large hand before leaning down and giving you a soft kiss. "I'm feeling amazing. And you?", you grab her hand before she pulls it away and you place a kiss on her knuckles. "I'm feeling alright. There's a new maid here. She's a bit slow. I'm giving her until tonight to finish dusting the entire castle or else she won't see another sunrise." It was almost comedic how dark her words were as you both stared out the window and gazed at the beautiful scenery. "Come on Alcina.", you stand up and place your hands on hers, trying to hold them despite the size difference. "Give the girl a break. It's a huge castle AND it's her first day.", you knew your words would probably change nothing. Alcina was rather cruel, but you looked past it. You tried your best to make the nervous maids comfortable whenever they arrive.

"We'll see how she does." She gives you one more kiss before leaving the room. You sit back down in your chair, enjoying the warmth of the sun for a little while longer. You lose track of time, minutes maybe even hours go by. Suddenly, there's a crash not far from the door. You jump and stand up, no longer comfortable after being startled. "What in the name of Mother Miranda?!", you leave the room and look down the hallway. The new maid stood there with a terrified look on her face. In front of her was one of the paintings Alcina had on her walls, now with a broken frame and a hole punctured. Your blood began to boil. It was a painting of you, her, and the girls all together. It was your favorite. "How in the hell did you manage to do that?!", you begin to stomp towards her. She cowers and struggles to find her words. "I-I-I was just dusting! It fell and I-I didn't mean t-", you cut her off. "How the fuck did you knock such a large painting over just by dusting?! DO YOU THINK YOU'RE ALLOWED TO MAKE SUCH STUPID MISTAKES HERE?!", you unravel. "I-I didn't mean to! I'm sorry!", she almost begins to weep. "SORRY ISN'T GONNA SAVE YOUR ASS!"

"MISS DIMITRESCU PLEASE HELP!", she cries out. You freeze, realizing that the lady herself is right behind you. You turn to face her. Her eyes are wide with shock. She has never seen you like this before and never even knew you had this type of side to you. She was impressed as much as she was terrified. "(Y/N)? Are you alright my love?" She had no idea what to do as your seething slowed down. "Why don't you go back to the room, yes? Settle down a little and deal with her later.", she places a hand on your back helps walk with you back to the room. Once you're there, she bends down to whisper in your ear. "I don't know where this side of you has been this whole time, but I am so amazed by you. And also a little frightened."

Donna

The Beneviento house was usually a calm place despite its creepy aura. You and Donna are both quiet and chill people. Never once have you fought or even raised your voices at each other. It was pleasant.

You had planned a nice dinner for the both of you. You wanted to try out a new recipe and surprise her, so you made your way to the kitchen to get started. "Okay, what first? I guess I'll need a pot.", you go rummaging through the kitchen and you find the pots stacked within each other inside one of the top cabinets. You groan and stand up on your toes, grazing the pots with your fingers. It didn't take much to cause them to tumble down, crashing on top of you with a loud sound that followed. "Aw shit.", you sighed and picked up the knocked over pots. A small but annoying pain began to throb in your head from where it made contact with a pot. What you didn't notice was you forgot to pick one of the pots up. It remained unnoticed. "It's fine.", you say to yourself as you maintain your composure. Next, a cutting board and knife. You turn around and begin to walk forward to find the cutting board, but you slam your toe into counter. You wince in pain and grab your foot. "SON OF A BITCH!", you yell.

You calm yourself, still wanting to have a pleasant meal with Donna. "Alright. Everything's fine." You step forward and kick the pot that you had forgotten to pick up. It caused your freshly kicked toe to ache even more. "OH COME ON! GOD FUCKING DAMMIT!", you scream and swear as you throw your arms up in pure rage and shock.

"...(Y/N)?", a gentle voice whispered from the doorway, causing you to whip your head in that direction. It was Donna. She looked absolutely horrified and almost looked like she could cry. "Is.. is everything... are you alright?", she worried. "Yes. I'm sorry. Just got a little pissed off.", you took a deep breath to calm yourself down, feeling bad for scaring the poor girl.

Moreau

You were sitting on the dock together, looking into the water as your feet swung back and forth above it. It was a sunny day and you two decided to spend it outside. Your hand slowly made its way over to his. His feet stopped swinging for a second as you entangled your fingers. "I don't know what I'd do without you, (Y/N)." his words were bitter sweet as a gentle smile formed from his lips. "Oh, Sal. You don't have to think like that. I'll always be here for you.", you kiss his cheek and continue to relax as you sway your legs.

"There it is! There's the beast!", a voice yelled from not so far away. You both look in the direction of the voice and see a few young village boys. Possibly between the ages of 13 and 16. Moreau had become some what of a scary story for the villagers. A tale that kids spread on school court yard and bring up during dares. But, you've never seen a kid brave enough to actually make it far enough into the reservoir to actually see Moreau. Now, there were about 3. All of them stood and pointed, shocked and terrified.

"Hey beast! Come get me!", one kid teases. You glare at the kids as a newfound rage begins to boil inside you. "Let's go back inside.", Moreau says before standing up from the doc. The sadness in his voice was heartbreaking. Suddenly, one of the children gathers the guts to pick up a rock and throw it as hard as he could. His aim was off, but not by much. It slammed into the wood near Moreau's feet, startling him. "Take that you devil!", he laughs. "THAT'S IT YOU LITTLE SHIT!", you begin sprinting in the direction of the immature brats. Two of them run from the direction they came from while the one who threw the rock was frozen in fear. You took the opportunity to grab him by the collar of his shirt. "Listen here you little waste of space. I'm gonna give you 3 seconds to turn around and run for your goddamn life. If you or any of your little snot-nosed friends come around here again, they'll be goddamn fish food. Do you understand?" The kid was too scared to speak and instead began to nod rapidly. You let him go and watched as he ran as fast as he could, screaming the whole way.

You walk back to the shack and find Moreau standing in the same place he was when you took off. His mouth was agape and he looked almost as scared as the kids. "You alright Sal? I made sure those little shits won't be coming around here anymore." "Yeah... I didn't know you could be so... scary", he says. "I'm sorry. But those kids were being cruel. I had to do something.", you say. "Well... it was awesome!", he smiled. "But also very scary!" You laugh which helps sooth him a little.

Heisenberg

"Screw driver.", is all Karl said with an outstretched palm. He was working on some type of mechanical heart for his experiments. He wanted you to lend a "helping hand" even though he could easily do it all by himself. He did this because he wanted to be around you, he was just too stubborn with too big of an ego to simply say it. So here you were, handing him every little tool he asks for.

"Do you want the big one or the little one?", you say with a hint of boredom in your tone. "Aw c'mon don't sound like that! Isn't this exciting? It's like you're working on it with me! Also, hand me the big one.", you do as he says and hand him the big screw driver. "I just don't get it. You literally have powers. You can easily do this by yourself and have been for so long. Why do you need me to help?" He pauses for a second and looks over towards you, his brow slightly furrowed. "I don't NEED you to help. I just thought it would be nice for you to help out. Plus, you're the one always bitching about me constantly working. Well, here you are! Helping me work! So, either suck it up or you can leave." His harshness had no real ill will in it. He was just confused and a bit too ignorant to consider his words. But, he was testing your patience. He continued to use the screwdriver until handing it to you without saying a word.

"Hand me a screw.", he demanded with his hand facing palm up again. "Which size?" "They're all the same sizes, dumbass." You feel your blood begin to boil. "They're different fucking sizes! This one is smaller than this one!", you hold up two screws that are obviously different sizes. This makes Karl angry. Not because you were right, but because you seemed upset over something that seemed so insignificant.

"If you came here just to yap in my ear, then I don't think I need your assistance.", he huffed. You put the selection of tools and supplies he was making you hold on the table he is working on and ball your fists. "You're the one who told me to do this in the first place!", you yell. "Yeah, because you won't stop bitching! Non-stop you're always compla-" you cut him off before he can finish. "SHUT UP!", you yell. The room goes silent. "YOU SAY I'M BITCHING? HAVE YOU HEARD YOURSELF? JESUS FUCKING CHRIST KARL YOU BITCH AND MOAN ALL THE TIME! I'M DONE TAKING SHIT FROM YOU!" He wanted to be angry, but he couldn't. He felt something much more overwhelming. Was he.. intimidated? He didn't move from his seat. All he could do was look up at you with a confused expression. What now? What is there to do? If he pushes you further, what would happen? He was actually too scared to find out.

You take a deep breath to calm down before speaking. "Now, if you want me to help with your shit, I'll stay as long as you keep your mouth shut. Can you possibly manage to do that?" He gulps nervously. "Yes ma'am."

[stargazer-balladeer]

Jealousy [Genshin Impact]

Characters Included: Aether, Albedo, Childe, Scaramouche, Xiao & Zhongli

Notes: Ngl,, this is a mess 🤣🤣 just like my mind- ;;w;; hope ya’ll like this! 

Reader’s Gender: Neutral

Warning: swearing in Scara’s part :(

Tagging: @genshin-obsessed

Aether isn’t a jealous-type at all, he trusts you that you won’t go behind his back. When he does get jealous, it’ll be either because he’s tired or someone interrupted his precious time with you or he just got back from his journey. But the one thing he hates the most is someone interrupting your date. 

His time with you is precious, every hour, every minute, every second, he cherishes them all. After all, he doesn’t know how much time he has, so he tries to make up every second in time with you. So if someone tries to interrupt his precious time with you, he’s pissed and pouty-

He’ll have a pout on his face as he glares at the person talking to you, wanting them to go away already. He doesn’t care if you reprimand him for scaring that person away, he doesn’t care if that person was important (like Jean or Diluc-), they're all the same in his eyes. When that person goes away, either scared or amused (Kaeya), Aether would immediately bring you into a hug as he peppers your neck with light kisses. 

If Aether sees that you are having fun with someone else, he can’t help but let his insecurity rise up. What if you left him for that person? What would he do with the shattered pieces of his heart? He’ll have a dark and sad look on his face, like a kicked puppy- he’ll walk away with his head hanging low. You better realize that Aether is gone or I swear I’ll--

Overall, his definition of jealousy is just being pissed by someone- 

“Tsk. That person really has the nerve to try to take away my time with you… I’m not jealous.”

Albedo, at first, would be confused at the sudden foreign feeling inside him when he sees you getting friendly with the other Knights. He doesn’t know what he’s feeling at that moment. Should he go there and drag you away? Why the sudden urge of kissing you in front of them? Why is his chest twisting painfully inside him? He really doesn’t understand-

He would consult Sucrose about it, and Sucrose concluded that he might be experiencing “Jealousy”. At first, he rejected the idea, saying it was a childish thing to experience. And that he has no time for that. But as the days pass, he soon realizes that Sucrose was indeed correct. 

Whenever someone would approach you, he would be staring (more like glaring) at them in the distance. His eyes would narrow if he sees that person casually touching you. But Albedo would only intervene if someone took it too far or if he sees that you’re uncomfortable. 

Albedo would never tell you that he’s jealous. It is kinda hard to see him jealous but the slightest change of his eyes and how his lips quirk into a dissatisfied frown made you realize that he’s jealous. Also, his mood sours if he’s jealous. He might ignore you for a while, don’t worry, he’s not mad! He’s just a bit pouty because he was just right there, why were you talking to that person?

Overall, won’t admit he’s jealous and might ignore you for a while.

“Why are you here? Shouldn’t you go back to that person? It seems like you two were having a pleasant conversation after all.”

Childe, similarly to Aether, is not a jealous type of person. Even if you try your best to make him jealous, it wouldn’t work. He can always see through your plan, so making him jealous purposely is always gonna fail. 

But here’s the thing. Childe is good at hiding his true emotions, the mask he has now was carefully carved and shaped by him. So he’s good at hiding his true motive, good at hiding his emotions, good at hiding his thoughts. This means that you wouldn’t know that he’s jealous. Though he’s still rarely jealous. He has a high pride towards himself that he wouldn’t get replaced easily. If there was ever a competition, he would happily compete with them for your heart- (competition and fights are what he lives for-)

He wouldn’t get jealous of you simply hanging out with someone, but if he sees that you’re having fun with the person. His jealousy meter is rising, he would hide in the shadows as he watches you and the person happily talking with each other. Once his jealousy meter reaches a certain meter, he would casually appear beside you and drag you away from that person while exclaiming that you two have something to do.

Like I said earlier, even if he was jealous, you can’t tell. So it’s 9 out of 10 chances that you were able to see his jealousy. If you tease him about it, he would just shut you up with a kiss- Also, there’s also this 50% chance that he’ll make out with you in front of the person. And he wouldn’t stop, he would just continue. You wouldn’t notice the person leaving, too caught up in your makeout session. When you two pull apart, he has a cocky smile on his face. 

Overall, secretly jealous but wouldn’t show it-

“There you are, sweetheart! I was searching for you everywhere! Come on! We have something to do! If you’ll excuse us, stranger, I’m going to have to steal away my (princess/prince)~”

It’s very obvious that he’s a jealous/possessive type. He would glare at anyone who dares to even go near you. No one can steal you away while he’s with you. Those who are stupidly brave (Childe-) will get zap by his Electro as Scaramouche drags you away while huffing. 

But he’s like this because he never has anyone to care for him before, your love is the only thing he has. Never has he experienced being loved before. He was despised by his fellow Harbingers and Fatui. He was hated by almost everyone he met. No one showed him any sort of affection unless they were simply using him for their own gain. You, who was undoubtedly naive and stupid to trust a Fatui Harbinger, manage to not only befriend him but make him fall in love with you. 

He gets jealous easily. Even if you two are the same gender, he’ll get jealous. He’ll immediately appear by your side and whisk you away, ignoring your complaints and the stare of the person. Sometimes, if someone is flirting with you, he’ll make out with you in front of them. Even though he doesn’t like kissing you in public, he will make this time an exception. The flustered look on the person’s face brings him such satisfaction-

Scaramouche would glare at that person who you’re talking to, doesn’t matter if you were the one who started the conversation, he would be seething with rage. How dare they talk to you?! Your attention and time should be spent on him! You might need to talk to him about his rather alarming behavior. After that, he’ll mellow down a bit. But that doesn’t stop his glares on that person. 

Overall,, even though he manages his anger issues, he’s still jealous if you spend time (even if it’s only a minute) on another person- 

“I told you to stop associating yourself with those low-life people, my beloved. You shouldn’t waste your breath on them……. Of course, I’m fucking jealous! You should’ve seen how they eyed you! I wanted to kill them on the spot for looking at you-” (chill scara- do you want some snickers-?) 

Xiao wouldn’t admit it but he’s jealous. He would rather die than ever admit that he’s jealous of you hanging out with your fellow mortals. Especially if you are on your way to meet him and a person starts to talk to you, somewhere, Xiao is glaring at the person and you are talking with a small pout on his face. He might not appear to you at all unless you decided to give him some Almond Tofu. 

Similar to Scaramouche, he never felt love before and doesn’t care much about it. He thought it was weak to love somebody, imagining giving everything up just for one person? Gross. But when Xiao met you for the first time, he thought time stopped. At that moment, he knew he would make you his. You manage to capture his heart just by appearing in front of him, so take full responsibility-

You can immediately tell if he’s jealous because he has a scary face on with an (adorable) pout. He’ll glare half-heartedly at you, grumbling that you should go back to whoever that was. Even though he acts like a baby at that moment, he was just insecure. You were a mortal, he was an Adepti. You can die any time while he lived for millennia now. Wouldn’t you prefer to date a mortal like yourself? One who will grow old with you, one who isn’t as cold-hearted as him? You might need to reassure him again-

Xiao trusts you, yes, but he doesn’t trust the mortals much. He actually prefers if you spend your time with someone like the Traveller, one he knows and trusts. He’s just being wary and cautious. Don’t worry. Even if someone decides to corner you in an alleyway or somewhere, Xiao would be there immediately, raging with fury-  

Overall, an overprotective, insecure baby that gets jealous if you don’t notice him-

“Did that mortal harm you? I saw how they grab you.. They should pay for their sins- how dare they hurt someone like you.” 

Zhongli is also not much of a jealous-type. He trusts you whole-heartedly and allows you to talk to anyone freely. He would only be alarmed if that person makes you uncomfortable or decides to harm you in any way. But other than that, he lets you be. As long as you return home in one piece.

But he would be annoyed if someone (its always Childe-) decides to interrupt your date. He prefers having alone time with you because he is constantly busy with work. He would not-so-subtly try to shoo away that person. But if you intervene and let them stay, he decides to let them be. But be prepared to have another date tomorrow to make-up the date ruined.

Even if he’s jealous, you couldn’t tell. He just his usual face on, with a rather malice smile on his face. If you look away for even a second, the person you’re talking to is already gone when you return your head. You blink, a bit offended at that person for suddenly leaving in the middle of the conversation. While Zhongli besides you just pat your head. (shh.. You don’t need to know that he scared off that person,, it’s our little secret-)

BUT! His jealousy will only show if you spend the entire day with another person, and completely ignoring him- when you return home, prepare for your punishment for spend your day with another person and not giving him his daily dose of kisses-

Overall, a rather calm guy that rarely gets jealous

“How rude. You’ve been ignoring me the whole day, and yet you spend your entire time with another. I’m your lover, am I not? And to add to the wound, you forgot to kiss me. Oh well, guess it’s time to get them now.”

[x] Main Page || [x] Mondstadt Page || [x] Liyue Page || [x] Fatui Harbingers Page

[vrishchikawrites]

You know what would be interesting?

JC never lost his golden Core.

And Wei Wuxian did not lose his.

But he still gets dropped into the Burial Mounds. And like I dunno how, but he comes out of there having mastered the new form of cultivation.

Jiang Cheng acts like a dick that's par for cannon. And this Wei Wuxian who has survived the burial Mounds with his golden core intact has no time for his drama.

He definitely confesses to Lan Wangji o ce he is out of the burial mounds.

Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji in the Sunshot campain would be brilliant. Cultivating and * *wink wink nudge nudge* * dual cultivating.

JC is seething with jelousy. He has everything. The gentry name, the money and sect leadership but the whole world is only speaking about Wei Wuxian and his like awesome cultivation. Both the sword style and with his flute.

Wen Qing and Wen Ning- Wen Ning convinces his sister to join the war. Wen Ning wants to be on Wei Wuxian's side.

What would JC throw a tantrum over if he doesn't have anything to throw a tantrum over??

Like for example he blames Wei Wuxian for Lotus Pier burning. Obviously it's not his mistake. But one day he is yelling at Wei Wuxian about it and sect leader someone maybe XiChen, maybe Sect leader Nie. Whoever. Comes and like defends Wei Wuxian.

What would he do then faced with the facts? Cling all the more to his warped world view? Or apologize?

It will be interesting to see.

You don't have to take this prompt if it's too messy or whatever. I love you and your writing.

Also, thank you for choosing to write my previous prompt.

XOXO.

(this is a little similar to trapped and patient but also quite different. Hope you like it! The format is a bit different because this is a lot of time to cover in a short prompt)

When he stumbles out of the Burial Mounds, Wei Wuxian is stunned. He can't believe he made it, that he was able to survive it, without his sword.

Wei Wuxian walks forward shakily, one unsteady step at a time, putting distance between him and that wretched place.

He feels weak, drained, devastated in small ways.

But he is free.

---

Yiling offers shelter in unexpected ways. He's able to hide in a temple to recover. His condition is wretched enough that he's mistaken for a beggar. A few people take pity on him and offer fruits and buns.

It takes him a week.

That's all it takes for him to recover.

Wei Wuxian washes all traces of Burial Mounds off him, soaks in icy river water for hours on end until he feels purified and reforged.

Now, he's ready for revenge.

---

Wei Wuxian has only tried his cultivation method on the dead. He has used it to repel the fierce corpses, fierce ghosts, and spirits soaked in resentment.

When he tests the method on the Wens, it proves to be even more effective. They scramble like mindless beasts, driven by fear and confusion. The sounds of his Dizi pierce the air and induce madness.

He watches from a distance, indifferent as the Wens turn on each other, swinging their swords, shouting at phantoms, all sense and intellect gone.

He turns away.

---

Jiang Cheng's arms wrap around him and the fog around his mind starts to slowly recede. He stands stiffly, blinking a little before looking beyond his martial brother.

Lan Zhan is there, staring at him with wide eyes. There's so much open concern on his usually stoic face that Wei Wuxian wants to turn away.

"Wei Ying,"

It is only then, under the power of that golden gaze, that his fugue state dissipates. He sees Lan Zhan step forward, almost reaching out only to pull back at the last moment.

Jiang Cheng pushes him away and punches his shoulder, "Where have you been? How dare you abandon us and just frolic off somewhere?"

Wei Wuxian swalllows with difficulty and answers their questions with his habitual dismissive charm.

But that honest expression of open concern on Lan Zhan's beautiful face doesn't leave.

He meets those golden eyes and feels something shift within him.

Shaking his head, he dismisses the feeling. There's no time for sentimental reunions. He turns his attention towards Wen Chao, unsheathes his sword, and kills him in one clean strike.

There. Done.

---

The war is already in full swing by the time he joins it. His martial brother and Lan Zhan are quick to take him to Qinghe, not even letting him ride his own sword.

"Wei-gongzi, I'm happy to see you safe," Lan Xichen greets, running a discreet eye over him. The older Lan brother's concern is well hidden but Wei Wuxian senses it nevertheless.

The man looks like he's just about ready to banish him to the healing halls.

He opens his mouth to reassure Lan Xichen but Nie Mingjue intervenes, slapping his back solidly, "I hear you're responsible for the devastation at Yiling. Good work!"

Wei Wuxian smiles brightly, hoping to banish that increasingly familiar look from Lan Zhan's face. "Thank you, Nie-zongzhu." He smiles up at the man, "I can give you a full report of what happened if you wish it."

The Chifeng-zun's expression shifts into one of approval and he nods, "I do wish it."

"I would like to know as well, if you don't mind," Lan Xichen says and Nie Mingjue nods before he glances at Lan Zhan.

He chuckles, "Lan er-gonzi can join us as well."

---

Wei Wuxian doesn't realize he's been spending more time with the Lan brothers and Nie Mingjue until Jiang Cheng angrily points it out.

"You're too good for us, are you?" He demands, "Abandoning us in favor of your new friends! Even in the battlefield, you and Lan Wangji are inseparable! Have some shame! How dare you abandon your responsibilities and mess around with that man?"

"a-Cheng," Shijie reprimands gently but her voice is weak.

"Aiya, Jiang Cheng, who keeps track of such things amidst a war? They're all our allies. It's not like I have abandoned everyone." He still trains with the Jiang disciples and leads them in battle after all.

"Wei Wuxian!"

"Jiang Cheng," His voice makes his irritation clear, "Is this really the right time to worry about such trivial matters? Who cares about appearances during war? Are were not all one when on the battlefield?" He asks, narrowing his eyes on the furious Jiang, "We don't know whether we'll live or die when we ride out and you're concerned about who fights alongside me? Just who are you speaking of?"

"Who I am speaking of?" Jiang Cheng snaps in return, "Your obsession with that man is unseemly and reflects poorly on the sect! You know it and yet you carry on shamelessly-"

"My obsession?" He demands, "Just what are you trying to imply, Jiang Cheng? You're going to be a brat just because Lan Zhan happens to be the only one able to keep up with me?" It is no secret that his three month stint sharpened his cultivation in ways people find hard to fathom. He didn’t just develop a new cultivation method, he grew. Surviving the Burial Mounds is a feet beyond the skill and endurance of most cultivators. 

Wei Wuxian has earned his already formidable reputation.

Jiang Cheng reels back at the reminder, his face twisting with rage.

Never let it be said that Wei Wuxian takes things lying down. He has spent a lifetime appeasing Jiang Cheng and dealing with his insecurities.

He no longer has the patience.

---

He reaches out instinctively, pulling Lan Zhan out of a blade's path, spinning around to block the strike with his bare arm.

His thick leather brace manages to minimize the damage and he doesn't lose his arm but it is a near thing.

With a hiss, he crowds against Lan Zhan and brings Suibian down in a sharp slash, cutting the Wen before him from left shoulder to right hip.

"Reckless." Lan Zhan says later as he carefully stitches the cut.

"I couldn't let you get hurt." Wei Wuxian says softly, peering down at the kneeling figure before him. He has seen Lan Zhan in various states of indignity, covered in blood, robes soaked in the disgusting sludge of a war-torn field.

Nothing diminishes his beauty.

Wei Wuxian's heart races, his head spinning as he smells the scent of sandalwood. He swallows as Lan Zhan shifts closer, carefully snipping the excess thread and studying his neat stitches.

This close, he feels overwhelmed and realization dawns.

"I love you," He breathes, stunned.

He loves Lan Zhan. The knowledge strikes him now, suddenly, without warning. "How did I not know?" Wei Wuxian feels strangely dazed. How could he not know? It is so obvious to him, his constant need for Lan Zhan's attention, "I hate it when you ignore me." The feeling of those snapping golden eyes on him when he finally manages to gain Lan Zhan's attention, "It's thrilling when you don't."

He has never met anyone more beautiful, "I find you better looking than any maiden." Lan Zhan's proximity now makes him feel-, "Breathless," He says, "When I'm close to you I feel- how did I miss-"

Lan Zhan grip is like vice around his wrist.

Wei Wuxian stops, going pale as he realizes how brazenly he had just confessed love to a man. If Jiang Cheng were here, he'd definitely gut him with Sandu, "Lan Zhan, I-"

Lan Zhan surges forward, eyes blazing and expression dark.

Warm lips slide over his and his mind goes silent.

He doesn't think a single thought that night.

---

War doesn't wait for anyone and Wei Wuxian doesn't say anything in protest when Lan Zhan pulls away from him. He watches with heavy eyes as Lan Zhan shrugs on his discarded outer robes and glances at him.

"Is your body alright?" He asks and Wei Wuxian feels a blush crawl up his neck.

“No! Of course it isn’t,“ He complains even though his body is buzzing with lingering pleasure. He pouts up at Lan Zhan, who studies him with careful golden eyes, “Really, going on and on, taking your pleasure without any care for my virgin body.“ Lan Zhan’s ears are delightfully red, “Who knew er-gege could be so bold?“

“Wei Ying,“ Lan Zhan’s expression is flat but his voice carries a hint of a waver. Wei Wuxian just grins in response, “Be serious.“

In all honesty, his body is already back to its regular state of being. His Golden Core is still spinning furiously and the lingering energy from Dual Cultivation has healed any aches and pains he might have. 

“Fine,“ He says in a petulant tune, inwardly delighted that Lan Zhan is now his, “But er-gege must kiss me to make me feel better.”

Lan Zhan doesn’t hesitate, leaning over him and gently tipping his chin up for the demanded kiss. 

Wei Wuxian sighs, sinking into it as a curtain of silken black hair forms a private cocoon around him. 

---

The war ends but Wei Wuxian’s problems don’t end with it. Three issues stand before him; helping the Wen remnants, helping rebuild YunmengJiang, and figuring out how to marry Lan Zhan. 

One obstacle stands in the way of two of these three goals. Jiang Cheng absolutely refuses to lift a finger to help the Wen remnants, even though Wen Qing’s assistance helped them win the war. Jin Guangyao may have killed Wen Ruohan but Wen Qing prevented thousands of casualties.

Wen Ning was also responsible for rescuing Jiang Cheng from the Wen capture before he lost his Golden Core. It was fortunate that Wen Zhuliu had been called to visit Wen Ruohan and Wen Chao had to wait to enact that punishment. 

Wen Ning and Wei Wuxian managed to steal Jiang Cheng away just hours before Wen Zhuliu returned.

And yet, Jiang Cheng chooses to side with the Jins on the matter instead of listening to Lan Xichen or Nie Mingjue. Wei Wuxian knows it is partly because their sister is marrying into the Jin clan and they can’t afford to make things difficult for her, but still.

Jin Zixuan will obviously protect shijie. There’s no need to be so cautious, especially if three out of four sects oppose imposing any sort of punishment on innocent people. 

On a personal front, Jiang Cheng’s disapproval of his relationship with Lan Zhan is blatant.

Jiang Cheng can’t really stop Wei Wuxian from marrying whoever he wishes. He doens’t need the sect leader’s permission as he’s not really the member of the family. But his shidi is making things difficult with his sneering disapproval and contemptuous comments in public.  

He has already alienated Lan Xichen completely by calling Lan Zhan’s honor in question (boy did he earn the punch Wei Wuxian had leveled at him - sect leader or no). Nie Mingjue will never side with some upstart over Lan Xichen. 

Lan Zhan himself doesn’t care. He has never liked Jiang Cheng and he never will. He only retaliates when Jiang Cheng tries to attack Wei Wuxian. 

His protective er-gege as no tolerance for anyone trying to harm him.

Which is what, ultimately, breaks Wei Wuxian’s ties with YunmengJiang. 

The confrontation is embarrassingly public. He doesn’t mind Lan Xichen or Nie Mingjue being present but feels upset about Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao being there as well. 

“Twin Prides of Yungmeng, isn’t that what you promised me?“ Jiang Cheng demands, “Where will your pride be if you break all of your promises and get into...” He waves his hand at Lan Zhan in disgust, “Is this how you intend to repay us? My father raised you to be the Head Disciple of the Jiang Sect and you would rather be some sort of deviant?“

“Jiang Cheng-“

“And you would side with the Wen dogs too! Was this always your intention? Did you always want to bring down my sect and support its enemies?” 

“The Wen remnants have helped us. They’re not our enemies.“

“They’re not our enemies now,“ Jin Guanyao interjects calmly, his voice soothing and patient, “But surely you see that it may not remain so? We cannot risk another war.”

“They’re barely a few hundred people and we have already taken most of their resources. They’ll live as poor peasants. How can they be a threat to us?“ Wei Wuxian asks. 

“You’re indeed naïve, Wei-gongzi,“ Jin Guangshan says in a gentle, placating tone, “Perhaps your fondness for Wen-guniang is making you turn a blind eye. Beautiful women have a tendency to do that.“ He chuckles indulgently.

The sly implication in his tone isn’t lost on anyone. Lan Zhan’s expression turns frosty and Wei Wuxian feels a surge of fury strong enough to make his blood boil. There are so many things wrong with that statement that Wei Wuxian, for once, is rendered speechless.

“You question the honor of Wei Wuxian of all people?“ Nie Mingjue demands, taking a step forward, “I have stayed silent because Jiang Sect business isn’t my business but I will not have you slander and belittle a proven warrior in my presence!“

“Indeed,“ Lan Xichen says calmly but there’s no mistaking the sharp look in his eyes. Lan Xichen rarely reacts to provocations or interferes in sect matters that don’t concern him. But he’s not going to let anyone upset his younger brother carelessly, “The matter of the Wens is easy to resolve. Let us give them a small piece of land, let them set up a village, and forbid cultivation among them.“

“Er-ge,“ Jin Guangyao begins but Lan Zhan is out of patience. 

He steps back and bows to all assembled before placing a hand on Wei Wuxian’s back, “Wei Ying will choose his own path. Wens will remain free. Wei Ying and I will marry.“ He meets Jiang Cheng’s furious gaze, “Jiang-zongzhu must decide whether his brother’s happiness matters to him.“

Wei Wuxian winces. 

“My brother’s happiness?“ Jiang Cheng demands, “All everyone has ever cared about is his happiness! What about me? What about our Sect? A sect he nearly destroyed because of his loyalty towards you.“ Jiang Cheng looks at him, “Did you forget my mother? My father? How do you intend to repay the enormous debt you carry, Wei Wuxian?“

Wei Wuxian stares back at him, “What is my repayment, Jiang Cheng?” He asks softly, “What will it take for you to consider that debt repaid?” It has been over five years since the fall of Lotus Pier. Wei Wuxian has bled and slogged through war to restore that place to its former glory. He has kept Jiang Cheng safe, helped renegotiate shijie’s marriage, and used his name to draw skilled cultivators to YungmengJiang. 

What more can he give? 

“Loyalty.“ He stills, “You devote your life to YungmengJiang and nothing else.“

Lan Xichen makes a faint, alarmed noise while Nie Mingjue huffs in disapproval. 

Wei Wuxian takes a deep breath, feeling Lan Zhan’s fingers flex on his back. He levels a flat look at Jiang Cheng and thinks on the matter of debts. He thinks about Madam Yu’s refusal to bend, of Jiang-zongzhu’s passivity and lack of planning. He thinks about the Wen’s unprovoked attack on Cloud Recesses and the inevitability of war. 

He thinks of his Lan Zhan and shijie’s Jin Zixuan, without swords and facing an armed group of Wens under Wen Chao’s orders. 

He thinks of love. Of what it means to be truly, unconditionally loved. 

No sorrys and no thank yous. No debt owed for simply being a part of someone’s life. 

He thinks of acceptance that comes with an older brother’s amused smile. He thinks of an uncle’s gruff admonishment to behave followed by a stiff reminder to eat, you’re skin and bones already. 

He takes a deep breath and decides. 

“No.“

[dongofthewolf]

Hiii! Can I request no.9 from the cliché prompts and fake dating au?

Making Amends

Abby Anderson x Reader

Prompts: 9. “There’s only one bed and we sleep as far away as possible from each other but wake up cuddling” 18. Fake dating au

Warnings: swearing, fluff, hint of angst, Owen and Mel slander (sry I had to)

No pronouns are mentioned for the reader

Link to the prompt list here

A/N: Both tropes are literally my favourite things ever and it was so fun to write so ty for requesting it. It ended up way longer than I intended so uhhh yeah hope you enjoy LOL (esp if you requested it)!!

“What the hell Abby?! Have you been telling people that we’re dating?” You had cornered Abby into a secluded hallway, trapping her against the wall with your finger on her chest accusingly.

There was a flicker of fear in Abby’s eyes as she chewed on her lip nervously. Abby was considerably stronger than you and you probably looked like a mouse trying to intimidate a lion, but you didn’t care.

Abby couldn’t meet your burning gaze, all she replied with was a prolonged “Uhhhhhh”.

“Abigail Anderson, answer me right now or I swear to God-” It was rare for you to whip out her full name. And maybe it was kind of a cheap move, but it was a cheap move that almost always worked.

“Fine!” Abby interrupted, letting out a short sigh and preparing herself for the worst. “I kind of told Owen we were dating and I'm pretty sure he’s been telling other people.”

She said the words as quickly as possible, closing her eyes like a bomb was about to go off. Your reaction wasn't far off to say the least.

“You what? Why the fuck would you tell him we’re dating?” There was venom in your words and Abby flinched just slightly.

You were angry, incredibly so. You and Abby have always been close friends, or more so you had been until she started dating Owen. At first it was small things; cancelling plans or leaving early because she was busy and you completely understood. It’s not like you didn’t want her to hang out with him, and obviously you wanted her to be happy, but eventually it got to a point where she hardly ever spoke to you. Aside from the occasional greetings in the busy stadium, it was like you guys had never even been friends.

Now, after completely ignoring you for the past months, she decided it was a good idea to tell people that you guys were dating? It only seemed right for you to be pissed off.

“I just... Everyone kept looking at me like some sad puppy dog because I broke up with Owen, which normally I can handle. But every single day I kept getting the same sad fucking looks and I couldn’t take it anymore, so I told them I was seeing someone. I never mentioned your name but they kept prying, and prying and you were the first person that popped into my mind. I’m really sorry Y/N.”

You didn’t say anything at first, instead you looked at Abby without a hint of emotion on your face, and even less in your tone when you did finally speak. “Why didn’t you tell me you guys broke up?”

Abby paused, she didn’t know what response she was expecting but it definitely wasn’t that. “I um, I figured you knew. Pretty much everyone in the stadium knows.”

“Yeah well… I didn’t.” You were quiet. A part of you was angry and annoyed, but another part of you pitied Abby. She had never been one to lie, especially about something as petty as this.

Before you could think of something to say, Abby broke the silence. “Listen, I know you probably hate me right now, but I need to ask you a small favour.”

“Seriously?” You nudged Abby’s chest, pushing her into the wall again. The pity quickly dissipated to nothing, leaving you once again with a seething rage.

“Look, I know things between us haven’t been ideal but-“

“Haven’t been ideal?!” You interrupted, the absolute ignorance in her words tipping you off the edge. “Abby, you threw me away like I was trash! We were friends and you left me to hang out with Owen. I didn’t even know you guys broke up because you don’t tell me shit anymore!”

“I’ll do anything Y/N, okay? I’ll do your laundry, clean your room, I’ll even take your shifts for patrols.” Abby’s hands were on your forearms as she spoke. “Please just do this one thing for me and I’ll spend the rest of my life paying you back.” There was sincerity in Abby’s face, a hint of desperation too.

You paused. What could Abby possibly want so badly that she’d be willing to do all this for you? Even though you were angry at her, you’d be lying if you said you weren’t just a little bit intrigued.

“I’ll do anything Y/N, please. There must be something that you want.” Abby pleaded, absolute seriousness in her eyes.

“What I want is to never see you again.” Your finger was pointed at her chest again, poking her lightly.

Immediately you could see the hurt on Abby’s face. Okay, maybe that was a little bit harsh (and kind of petty) but you weren’t just gonna let Abby off that easily. Not after everything she’s done.

“Fine…” Abby paused to contemplate her next words, wiping the sadness from her face. “Fine, after tonight if you do this thing for me, we’ll never have to see each other again, I promise. I just need you to come to this party with me. We don’t have to talk or hold hands or anything and you can spend the whole night hating me, but I just need you there.”

“I-“ You couldn't do that. You couldn’t just pretend and lie to all of Abby’s friends for a whole night… Could you?

“Please Y/N. It’s embarrassing, okay? When we broke up, Mel immediately jumped in to fill my space. Everyone knew it and I had to pretend like I didn’t care so people would stop treating me like a wounded animal. If they find out I lied about you? I don’t think they’ll ever stop seeing me that way.”

You looked at Abby and felt a tinge of sympathy, she looked so sad and desperate, and for a second you even considered it. One night couldn’t hurt, right? Wait, no.

You mentally slapped yourself, trying to snap yourself out of it. You were not going to give in that easily. Nope. This was Abby, the same girl who threw away your friendship like it was nothing, and you were not going to let her use you like this. Not even while she’s looking at you with those sad, blue eyes. Nope, you’re mad, you’re angry, you’re-

“Fine.” Fuck.

“Yes! Thank you, thank you, thank you.” Abby’s eyes lit up as she wrapped her arms around you, lifting you into the air while she let out a breath of relief.

What did you just get yourself into?

—

“I can sleep on the floor, it's really no problem.” Abby offered, there was a slight nervousness in her tone as she stood in front of you shifting her weight on the balls of her feet.

“Abby, that’s stupid. It’s not like I’m infected or something.” You huffed, reaching for the box of matches to light the candle next to you.

Sometime after the party there had been a power outage and the entire WLF base went lights out. Meaning there was no heat and most annoyingly, no lights.

After a night of uncomfortable looks and even more uncomfortable conversations in which you spent most of the party trying to avoid Abby’s friends, she was walking you back to your room when everything suddenly went dark.

The both of you practically crawled to your room before you could locate a light source of some kind. It had been an hour since the power went out and you insisted that Abby sleep in your room, for… safety purposes.

You shook the match till it was out, suddenly you were thankful for impulse buying those candles last week.

“It’s fine, I’ll just crawl halfway across the stadium until I find my room. No biggie.” You couldn’t tell if she was joking, but something in you felt like she would actually do it if you didn’t insist she stay here.

You sighed. “Just sleep here Abs, it’s easier and I’m offering. Plus, I don’t need you army crawling across the entire WLF base. It’s hard on the arms, even for someone as strong as you.”

“You think I’m strong?” Abby smiled teasingly and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes, looking away as you tried to hide the small grin on your face. God, it was hard to stay mad at Abby.

“Shut up and take the bed.” You could tell Abby was reluctant but she still plopped herself onto your bed. She sat awkwardly on the edge, unsure of how this was going to work.

You tried to ignore Abby’s weird energy as you buried yourself beneath the covers. It took a minute for her to actually lay down in the bed but when she did, she was careful to keep her distance. It was pretty funny (and pretty cute) how unsure she was.

After a few minutes of silence you heard Abby whisper your name softly, almost like she wasn’t sure if you could hear her.

Nuzzling your nose into your pillow you whispered back a small “Yeah?”.

“Thank you.” You could hear the genuity in Abby’s voice, how grateful she was for such a simple act and suddenly it hit you, you didn’t want her to leave you alone. You missed this—missed Abby.

Instead of responding you nudged her foot lightly with yours. It was something you guys had done as kids, like a silent way of saying “I’m here.”. Under the dinner table with the Fireflies or during training when you first joined the WLF; it was an unspoken thing between the both of you. An action that spoke much louder than words possibly could.

The both of you laid on opposite ends of the bed, your backs turned to each other. You shifted under the sheets before finally finding a comfortable position, you fell asleep that night to the steady sound of Abby’s breathing.

—

You were first to wake up, confusion washing over you when you felt your head rising and falling. Why the hell was your pillow moving? Then it hit you; it wasn’t the bed moving, it was Abby. Your head lay resting on Abby’s chest, her arm over your back while your limbs were wrapped around her like a giant stuffed animal. The sound of her beating heart was soft in your ears and you could feel her breath coming out in steady increments, blowing lightly against your head.

You weren’t sure what to do about your compromising position. It was already too late for you to leap out of her arms and a large part of you didn’t want to move anyways. So you decided to pretend to sleep until she woke up. That way you wouldn’t have to decide what to do, she would.

Abby woke up shortly after you, you could tell she was awake by the way her breath hitched in her throat upon noticing how you guys were situated. However, instead of jumping out of the bed in a panic, Abby didn’t move either, and it took everything in you to not open your eyes.

After a few moments of stillness, you almost thought she had fallen back asleep. It wasn’t until you felt a light touch on your temple that you realized she was awake. The touch so light you nearly missed it when Abby brushed a small strand of hair away from your face.

Then slowly, Abby pried you off of her and you nearly let a small groan slip from your lips when you felt the absence of her warmth. She gently rolled you over, covering you with the blanket before walking into the bathroom.

That’s when it happened: the ache. A sharp, jarring ache in your heart that you only felt with her— that you haven’t felt since the two of you were best friends. It had left you when you and Abby stopped talking, but it returned just the same when you witnessed the tenderness of her actions. You never thought to put a name to this feeling (and maybe a part of you didn’t want to), but it was near impossible to ignore it.

You couldn’t possibly be harbouring secret feelings for Abby, right? You tried to distract yourself from these thoughts, it was way too early to be worrying about these things.

Feigning tiredness you rolled off the bed and headed towards the bathroom. You knocked on the door and when Abby opened it you noticed she was in the process of redoing her braid.

You leaned against the doorway as you watched her skilled fingers work. “Abs?”

“Hm?” She replied as she tied off the end of her braid.

“I didn’t really mean what I said to you last night… about never wanting to see you again. I’m sorry.” You picked at your thumb anxiously, eyes wandering around the room, looking anywhere but at Abby.

Abby turned to face you, letting the braid fall to her side. “You don’t have to apologize Y/N, I deserve it. I didn’t even hesitate to leave you when Owen and I started dating, and I was-“

“Stupid?” You finished for her, looking up from the floor to meet Abby’s gaze.

“Stupid. And for what it's worth, I’ve really missed hanging out with you Y/N, even if it is under these circumstances.”

“You know… I think I know a way you can make it up to me, if you’re still up for it?” Abby looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you noticed the corner of her mouth curling into a small smile.

“Oh yeah? What would that be?”

“You see, there’s this guy that’s been trying to ask me out for weeks even though I keep rejecting him.” You gave Abby a tiny grin as you continued. “Well, maybe if he found out I was dating a certain soldier who could pound his ass into the ground, then he’d leave me alone.”

Abby nodded her head nonchalantly as she took a small step towards you, crossing her arms across her chest. “You know what’s crazy? I think I have just the person for you.”

[solomonish]

I have a really weird and vague idea in my head that I don't think I'll write because I don't know how but let me try to put it into words here anyway

But like. What if the exchange program is the first time the brothers are all home together in a long time? (I'm sure there are canon details to debunk this immediately so if so consider this an AU of sorts)

Like. Listen.

Mammon is away so often, running from debt collectors and hiding from the consequences of his actions. He spends random weeks away from school only to return with either a suspiciously expensive-looking accessory or a new injury to the jaw and manages to scrape by his classes with the little material he is present to learn.

Satan does NOT want to be home so after school, he spends his time in bookstores and then spends nights at 24-hour libraries. On weekends and vacations he travels around the Devildom or crashes with one of his connections. He probably has a full-on abode just somewhere for him to be away.

Asmodeus has plenty of company and, rather than taking people home, allows them to take him home. He seduces his pact holders when in desperate need of a place to stay but can generally afford to keep himself in a nice hotel for a while (or get the connections to have somebody else buy them for him)

I'm reading a fic where Beel also has some military status (if i find it ill link it!) so he's off doing that, training recruits and meeting with officials. Or he disappears to try various sports that require different environments than the city has to offer. Sometimes he meets up with Belphie and hangs out with him if he has time, but nobody else ever knows when or where this happens.

Lucifer and Leviathan both stay home but almost never see each other. The little D's do the chores while Lucifer works and bring food to Levi, who still only leaves his room for school and Navy events. Even for special merchandise drops, he manages to get others to get the merch for him instead of getting it himself. Lucofer is frequently at the palace for his work and spends long stretches of time never going home once. Occasionally they run into each other in the halls or the kitchen and it is SO awkward.

The only person I'm not 100% on is Belphie. Maybe he still stays at home but he sleeps the whole time and then sneaks out at night or when he has plans with Beel. Sometimes he runs away for long stretches of time and doesn't go to school, magically appearing on test days and managing to ace them before disappearing again. He sort of floats around.

Then the exchange program is set into motion, and the brothers are told they have to stay in the HoL in order to be available to the human.

This is part of the reason they are so chaotic around MC - they've spent too much time apart and don't know how to mesh into a family structure anymore. They had sparse time to adjust to the co-inhabitation and now there's a human they have to pretend to care about? They are having a Hard Time adjusting.

But Mammon finds himself trying to get himself into less trouble - he really doesn't want to kure anybody dangerous back to his brothers, even if they could handle whoever it is.

Leviathan wanders the house more, partially because the walls are thick but not block-out-five-other-demons thick, and finds himself just existing near other people more.

Satan realizes how nice it is to have books around him that he owns, and a place where he can keep possessions that are his (that he wouldn't have to carry from place to place of he was crashing) and also not be entirely alone. A quiet house at 2 am is more peaceful than scary when you know there are people sleeping in it.

Asmodeus can't bring people home anymore, but he finds his brothers to sometimes be decent conversation partners. He also forgot how much fun it was to do somebody's hair and/or makeup and gossip or be able to give advice. He feels a little more like a person.

Beel loves being with his brothers again, and even though he misses Belphie, he hopes all seven of them will be able to be together for a little while before they all split off again at the end of the program.

Belphegor is already seething with rage, and doing a horrible job at dealing with his grief and betrayal. But sometimes, it calms him down when he lies on the floor with one ear pressed against the wood, and he can hear everybody talking at dinner. He tricks himself into thinking he doesn't wish he were with them.

Lucifer is glad to have all of his brothers under one roof again, and when he passes someone in the hall there's a secret smile on his face once he's behind them and they can't see. But sometimes, when he's tired and trudging through the halls at night, he checks on Belphegor in his room and startles when he isn't there. Lucifer thinks, for a moment, that he ran away again, before remembering the much more brutal truth.

And this is why they cling to you, in part. Not only did you help them fix their underlying issues, but you brought them back together in the first place.

I dunno. Just an idea.

[cafeacademia]

Love Between the Pages | Chapter 1

Blaise Zabini x Reader

Part summary: When Blaise is forced to attend the book club for a month for being caught up in Draco's bullying of the club, he finally has a chance to get to know the girl he likes, only now he's afraid that she's intimidated by him.

Warnings: Some bullying, Draco being Draco, mostly soft fluff though, lots of shyness

Word count: Approx 2000

Navigation

A/N: Hi loves!! Here's the first part to my first Blaise series!! I hope you all enjoy! If you'd like to be tagged, please click the link on my navigation post which is linked above!! Flash backs indicated with ***

“Detention!”

It was shouted harshly, at the top of her voice, shrill and full of rage as the three Slytherins stood in front of her, each looking decidedly guilty in their own ways. Draco stood up straighter, defiantly crossing his arms as he began to make the whole situation worse by arguing with Madam Pince. “You’re not even a real teacher, you can’t give us detention. My father will hear about this.” But while Draco went on and Theo attempted to appear like he was vaguely threatening next to his best friend, Blaise slowly blocked out the entire exchange, his eyes fixed on someone else, sitting on the other end of the library.

“That’s enough, Mister Malfoy, I will hear no more of this.” Madam Pince shouted. “You’ll all attend the book club as your punishment.” She asserted. “Book club?” He scoffed, “It’s hardly that bad.” “For a month.” Madam Pince interrupted him, making Draco and Theo look at her as if she’d grown an extra appendage. “A month?” Draco glowered, seething with anger.

But all while this was going on, Blaise had barely paid attention. He’d heard what she had said of course, but he was too distracted by a little Ravenclaw, sitting at the other end of the library. “Do you hear this, Zabini?” Draco asked, nudging his friend, the Slytherin boy quietly nodding and attempting to seem undistracted.

Why had Draco dragged him into this mess in the first place? All Blaise had been interested in was the pretty Ravenclaw he saw so often between the library bookshelves and somehow he’d been pulled into something so utterly stupid.

***

“What are you doing?” Draco asked, snatching the book out of Blaise’s hand. “Isn’t it obvious?” Blaise asked, raising a brow in annoyance as he took the book back from Draco and carefully pressed it against his chest. “You’re reading muggle novels.” “And?” “It’s for the mudbloods and blood traitors.” Draco spat. “And that’s why you’re not a Ravenclaw.” Blaise rolled his eyes. “You think this stuff is good?” Draco sounded genuinely confused. “They seem to.” Blaise nodded his head up towards the group that sat around a table, enjoying books together.

Draco glanced over at the group and while he didn’t know who they were, Blaise did. He’d seen you with your little book club in the library every week, but more specifically, he’d seen you in the library nearly every single day. If you weren’t studying, you were reading and enjoying a good book and judging by the books he had seen you with, you seemed to have a wide interest in a lot of different subjects and genres. Blaise was absolutely fascinated by you.

“Half of them are mudbloods.” Draco rolled his eyes. Blaise wanted to protest, he really did, but he knew it would cause more drama than it was worse by attempting to put Draco in his place. I was nearly always messy. “Let’s distract them a little, shall we?” Draco asked as he fished about in his robes for something he’d kept in his pocket just for the right occasion.

And that was when Blaise had been dragged into Draco’s shenanigans of throwing mini fireworks onto the book club’s table, Theo jumping in to laugh at them as they shrieked and scattered. But Blaise hadn’t laughed. He stood there, feeling like an idiot and an asshole, because you looked over at them with your book clutched protectively to your chest, a startled look in your eyes as you met his gaze. Fuck. Blaise was sure that whatever chance he had of ever speaking to you now was completely gone, especially as you gave him one last look before Neville Longbottom carefully tugged you and some of your group between the bookshelves.

***

“This is ridiculous.” Draco grumbled to himself as he entered the library the next afternoon, Blaise and Theo walking in behind him. Blaise looked up, searching the library for the little book club, his hands shoved in his trouser pockets in an attempt to seem relaxed, when really he felt rather pissed off. Stupid Malfoy and his stupid prejudice.

“Is this Madam Pince’s way of punishing them or us?” Hermione scoffed as she clocked the trio entering the library. Glancing over at Cho and Ginny, the pair gave you similar looks of discontent about the mere idea of having to spend just over an hour doing something you normally all found fun with a group of people that had just attacked your book club with mini fireworks. It seemed utterly backwards. “It feels like the latter.” Ginny muttered as the trio approached the table.

Discomfort settled over you, of course the three Slytherins intimidated you, you were shy and quiet and had never really spoken to them other than the odd interaction in class, and it didn’t help that Crabbe had made a point out of bullying you for being a muggleborn-know-it-all not long ago purely because of your blood status and house.

But while all three of the boys did intimidate you, there was something a little more intriguing about the tallest of the three. It hadn’t gone unnoticed that Blaise had at least somewhat of an interest in observing you and while others may find it uncomfortable, his gaze was not intimidating or offputting. In fact he seemed almost fascinated and you felt that the way he looked at you was warmer, much more than the way Draco did. But as you glanced up, only to catch his eyes and immediately look away out of shyness, you remembered that perhaps he wasn’t worth giving the time of day to. He had, afterall, been involved when Draco and Theo had thrown mini fireworks at your group the previous day and you didn’t recall ever seeing him trying to stop them.

But despite the way that Draco and Hermione clashed and the warning looks the boys got from Ginny while you scoured the shelves for a book to read, you slowly relaxed even with the initially unwelcome presence of the Slytherin boys.

Slowly as you began to explore the shelves, your fingers trailing over the spines of the books, discovering which title you might like to pick up this time for this week’s read, you gently pulled out an old copy of Jane Eyre. You weren’t expecting when you pulled the book off the shelf, to meet the eyes of Blaise Zabini, who stood, leaning back against the far bookshelf as he skimmed through the book in his hands, his eyes meeting yours only for a moment. You froze as soon as you saw his eyes on yours, feeling warmth blossom in your cheeks at the way he studied you calmly, his gaze gentle and soft as he looked at you, giving you the faintest hint of a smile before he looked back down at his book.

Blaise felt awful. You had looked so startled when he’d caught your eye through the bookshelves and he wondered if he intimidated you. He decided he couldn’t blame you if you were intimidated by him, he was friends with a group that were prone to picking on everyone. That combined with how shy you obviously were meant you were unlikely to approach anyone you weren’t comfortable with and Blaise felt even worse about the whole situation. What if you thought he was targeting you? Blaise knew he hasn’t exactly been subtle the times he had been gazing over at you on those afternoons in the library, those soft Thursday afternoons when the sun was in it’s golden hour, sending the most gentle and soft glow of warmth through the wobbled glass windows, casting a beautiful haze over you.

Blaise just hoped that attending the book club with you wasn’t enough to make you want to never speak to him full stop.

It was difficult for Blaise to admit though, that he was almost disappointed when the meeting ended, although he’d had quite enough of Granger and Malfoy’s hushed squabbling at one of the tables that Blaise had almost wanted to throw his book at them, though he wasn’t sure it was worth throwing his copy of Anne of Green Gables at them both.

But as he packed his borrowed book into his school bag, he caught you looking over at him from where you had been standing, a curious little look about you as you observed him, though you were quick to look away, a look of embarrassment on your features when you had seen he had noticed you before you began to walk away. “Wait a moment.” Blaise blurted it out as he quickly stepped into your pathway, startling you as you bumped into his chest and stumbled back a little, barely able to look up at him. “Merlin, I’m sorry.” He muttered, scared to touch you in case you didn’t want him to. “I just wanted to apologise for what happened yesterday, Malfoy was being a right git and I should have stopped him. I didn’t want to see you scared- your club scared.” He struggled to get it all out. While Blaise was confident, he was not the most chatty himself and apologising was not something he often found himself doing. Looking up at him, a little surprised at his apology, you just managed to look into his eyes for a moment before you focused back on the Slytherin green of his robe lining that was draped around his shoulders.

“Zabini, hurry up.” Theo drawled out as he leaned around the doorway to the library, Madam Pince shushing him as he lingered around the entrance. Blaise glanced over his shoulder at the boy dramatically leaning against the doorway before he turned back to you. “It’s alright.” You replied softly, a lot quieter than perhaps you had intended. You couldn’t hide your flustered reaction when you saw Blaise smile at the sound of your voice, his eyes lighting up and softening as he idly adjusted the bag on his shoulder. “I know the others are not interested in books but-.” “Blaaaiiise” Theo dragged out his name, the Slytherin boy in front of you sighing as he clenched his jaw a little. “Perhaps, would you like to read together?” He asked. Looking up at him, you smiled shyly, feeling rather flustered and giggly at the question, summoning all of your courage to respond to him. “Yes, perhaps.” You replied after a comfortable moment of silence. You wondered if he could tell he made you shy and giddy, or if it came off a little strange, but you supposed he wouldn’t be asking to read with you if he found you that weird.

And as Blaise gave you a quick goodbye, he walked off towards the exit, wearing a stoic face but on the inside, he was absolutely beaming. With three more weeks of the club to attend as punishment, there was plenty of time for you to hopefully warm up to him.

Blaise Taglist (OPEN):

@paintballkid711 @megantje123 @chaotic-fae-queen @slytherinwh0re @frecklesandfirecrackers @starofthedawn @mingyuahjumma @dracosaccount @90smalfoy @fuckingdraco @loving-life-my-way @cpetrova @miraclesoflove @struggling-bee @weasleywhore @little-me205 @dreaming-about-fanfictions @eli-malfoy-asf @ur-local-reality-shifter

[thr-333]

Just Another Class Trip :)  Part 3

You know getting dragged through a multi billion dollar corporations building to try and avoid your illegitimate father, a normal monday for most I’m sure.

First< Previous >Next

------------

It’s official, I hate Adrien

Marinette groans, having been practically dragged out of bed for breakfast. Adrien was wisely backed up as far as he could in the elevator. She yawns, making it loud as possible and looking Adrien right in the eye.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have stayed out so late,” Tikki giggles, hidden in her scarf.

Yeah it turns out that ‘just need to help out one person’ turned into a it is now 3am and I am halfway across the city beating up a gang.

“At least the box was safe,” Marinette whispers back, she had crashed in Adrien's room, no matter how mad Lila would be, or because of it who knows.

And indeed Lila was mad. The second they step foot into the hotel restaurant the entire class turns to stare at them. Crowded around a smug looking Lila with tears rolling down her cheeks. Marinette just turns a sharp left to the coffee. It isn’t until she has downed half a cup and refilled it that she tries to look for her friends.

Chloe looks just as dead as her, so she sits next to her. Let the morning people talk, they were ready to pass out together.

“Kagami?”

“Yep, Adrien?”

“Yep,”

“Morning people,” They both sneer.

“Were you planning on sleeping all morning?” Kagami asks, eating breakfast like a normal person, what a jerk.

“Were you planning on watching me all morning?” Chloe half heartedly retorts.

“You are adorable when you’re sleeping,”

“Fuck you, I’m adorable all the time,”

“Chlo, language, please,” Marinette implores, nursing her giant cup.

“Shut up Dupain-Cheng,” Chloe snaps, face planting back into the table.

“She’s not that cute actually,” Kagami whispers to Adrien, “Wore a face mask she got green all over the bed,”

“I’ll get green all over you,” Chloe mumbles absentmindedly.

"Marinette,"

"Ah the storm is coming,took them long enough" She takes a gulp of burning coffee, "Yes Alya?"

"You cant just say that to a person," Alya tries to explain, as if talking down to a child, "Lila was up all night crying,"

"She probably just put on a recording and went soundly to sleep," Chloe scoffs, sleepily looking up from the table.

"I was with her all night!" Alya turns to Chloe, seething rage coming to the surface.

"Thats some impressive endurance," Marinette mutters, downing more coffee.

"You think she's been practicing?" Chloe smirks.

"This isn't-"

"Make sure she get's plenty of water," Marinette turns away, hoping the conversation would be over.

"Marinette!" Alya looks down at her the way Marinette often looks at her, the look at a dear friend who changed, "Can't you see you're hurting Lila?"

"Can't you see she's hurting me?" She covers that honestly by gulping down more coffee, she has not had enough for this conversation.

"You used to be so nice Marinette," Alya dodges the question, pointing to Chloe and Kagami instead, "Then you started spending time with these two, and, and you changed!"

"Believe what you want Alya," Marinette motions for her friends to stay calm, "But they stand by me when no one else will, especially you,"

"Thats because!- Marinette if you had just gotten to know Lila instead of being jealous this would have never happened," Alya looks down at her sadly, Marinette was sure Paris would have been up in flames somehow if she had ever trusted Lila, "If you just didn't spend time around these bullies everything could be the same, you wouldn't have become a bully too,"

"So what?" She spits bitterly, looking over at the table watching them, Lila looking disgruntled it wasn't an all out fight, "If I got up and joined that table right now, would everything go back to the way it was?"

"... No,"

Marinette’s pocket buzzes in a familiar sequence. Akuma alert.

"Ok then, not much point in arguing about it, I'm going to stay with my friends, the ones I can actually trust," Marinette quickly shuts down Alya's protest, "Now go get Lila some water,"

Alya walks off back to the table, everyone crowding around her. Marinette waits for the door to be clear, she has to leave before Alya finishes or the whole class will be breathing down her neck.

“Forgot something in my room,” Marinette slings on her back pack, “Be back soon,”

She was not back soon, she was not back soon at all. Luckily she should only be three minutes late for the bus-and nope they left, great. She’ll just have to catch up with the tour later.

Well, I had stuff to do anyways

She talks with the receptionist; her assistant should have sent her a prepared motorcycle to the hotel the day before. It’s a quick drive to the location she had selected specifically to be close to the hotel.

She puts on a simple domino mask before entering the building, she didn’t want anyone to leak her identity after all. Walking in she’s glad to see everything is not in disarray.

“MDC,” Her assistant, Liam walks up to her.

Liam was someone she met through Penny. He’s older than her and also acted as her guardian on most of her trips as MDC. He does know her civilian identity, which she trusted him completely to keep. She likes him because-

“Is that mine?” She snatches the cup of coffee as he passes it to her.

“Figured you needed it,” Liam smiles, wincing as she downs the burning liquid, it's fine she has a strong healing factor, “You said your bag was stolen? This should replace it, it’s most of what you had plus more,”

He rolls forward a pre packed suitcase.

“I would die without,” Marinette says in all seriousness, “So what's the damage?”

“No major problems so far, the security we hired is enough to scare away the smaller thugs,” Liam nods to some security personnel guarding each door, “They won't be enough if any super villains try to attack the actual show,”

“Mm, give them instructions on the night of the show they are only allowed to intercept small time, anything bigger they are not allowed to engage,” Marinette studies the room, there's great places to hide, friend or foe, “If they see anything they are simply to report it directly to me,”

“They can’t engage?” Liam looks around, trying to see what she is.

“They won't be able to stop them anyway, and there is no reason for them to die,”

“If you say so,” Liam leads her through the room where lights are being set up and walls are being painted, “So what's the plan if we do get attacked?”

“I’m sure Batman is going to have his eye on any big events,” Marinette approves of the color of the back wall, it looking even better in person, “Besides I’m planning on trying to intercept before any violence,”

“In other words you're going to make my job a lot more stressful,” Liam sighs, making a note or rather on his tablet.

“Not if I can help it,”

“You can’t,” Liam sighs again at her grin, “Didn’t you have a tour with your class today?”

“They left me,” Liam seems equally unsurprised, “But I should probably head for Wayne tower anyway,”

“Don’t get into trouble,”

“I never get into trouble,” Marinette smirks from the door, “Trouble drags me into it kicking and screaming,”

“More like keen and skipping,” Liam closes the door in her face.

Marinette strolls into the Wayne tower an hour late with Starbucks, she sees is her class, being a nuisance arguing with a tour guide.

“You cannot just leave a student alone in Gotham,” The tour guide all but yells at Madame Bustier.

“Marinette is very responsible, she can handle herself,” Madame Bustier more defends herself than Marinette.

“I don’t care how responsible your student is, that won't stop them from getting shot!” This time he does yell, “You need to go back and pray to god she’s alright and hasn't gotten lost for some murder to find!”

Alright time to break the tension

“Hey, what did I miss?” Marinette asks casually, Already sipping at her straw when all eyes turn to her.

“Marinette! How did you get here?” Madame bustier demands.

“I-”

“I think you mean ‘are you alright, I’m so sorry for leaving you behind,” The tour guide glowers, apparently threatening enough that Madame Bustier actually repeats him.

“I’m fine, I borrowed a bike from my friend in Gotham,”

“You don’t have a licence in Gotham,” Lila sneers triumphantly.

Oh look who actually did some research, how much digging did you do when I learnt how to ride a motorcycle

“I didn’t say it was a motorcycle,” That shut’s Lila up, “But yeah it is a motorcycle,

Worth it for that face

“Also I got my licence approved in America before I came,”

So worth that face

Lila opens her mouth, better than the flood gates, when the tour guide interrupts.

“Now that everyone is here,” He sends a smile to Marinette and a glare to Madame Bustier somehow at the same time, she gets the tinglily feeling of  miraculous holder, or maybe its just the caffeine, “We can start, my name is Dick I will be your tour guide today.

They follow Dick through the tour Marinette's group right behind Dick. She scribbled designs and took notes as he talked, asking her own questions. This got her dubbed Dicks favourite, and easy title to gain as the rest of the class lagged behind. Most were listening to Lila, only Max and Alix were straining to hear Dick over the chatter. Marinette would occasionally pick up a mention of the Wayne's and knew it wasn't related to the tour. She'd have to guess Lila was lying about either dating someone or saving their life, or because it's Lila probably both. A gutsy move in the Wayne tower she had to admit. Marinette could tell Dick was listening and would probably have that rumour make it back to the Wayne's themselves. Would the wrath of some of the richest and most powerful people be enough to stop her? not likely.

They split up for lunch at the cafeteria in the building. She saw the coffee machine and was about to make a bee line to it when Kagami pulled her back to eat some 'real food' whatever that is. She makes a break for it after eating the so called 'real food', right before the tour was about to restart. She reaches it as a familiar figure is also waiting.

"Hi Tim," She greets, getting him to actually jump, "You work here?"

"Hi! um-yeah," He looks over to her, "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" She takes the biggest travel cup they have available.

"Sn-nothing," Tim still looks uneasy, then his eyes lock onto the cup, "tired?"

"Was up till three am last night, plus jet lag?" She yawns, "Yeah I'm tired,"

"Then you'll want to put that cup back,"

"Hm why?"

he gets her answer when Tim ducks down, opening a hidden cupboard full of travel cups at least twice the size of her current one,

"Tim I love you," She fills up the giant cup, "You're my favourite person in Gotham as of right now,"

"Not Dick?"

"Eh, his puns are lacklustre," She shrugs, Tim spits out his drink, "You know Dick?"

"Yep, give him a hard time for me!" Tim calls over his shoulder, walking away.

"You got it!" She hurries in the opposite direction, late for the tour once again.

“Did you get another coffee?” Dick asks as they enter the PR department.

“They were serving them at lunch,” Marinette could almost laugh at how quickly he had begun to fret over her during the tour.

“I know, that was my brothers idea, or rather demand,” Dick sighs, someone else approaching the group to direct the tour.

“Your brother works here?”

“Sure does,”

“But you don’t”

This makes Dick pause, looking down at her as she sips at the coffee.

“What?”

“I mean you don’t work this job at least,” She shrugs, it wasn't hard to figure out.

“Why's that?”

“You seem uncomfortable, your charismatic but still lack the smoothness of a rehearsed tour, plus you seem offended that they are in the back chatting,” Marinette nods towards Lila and her posse, “Regular tour guides would be used to that,”

“You found me out,” Dick chuckles, “I’m just taking over for today,”

“Well I think you picked a bad class to do that for,” She looks over at most her class ignoring the speaker trying to get their attention.

“I think I picked the right one,” Dick says cryptically, then walks off to help herd the class.

“Alright you have to give me the recipe,” Marinette overhears from a nearby desk.

Someone is sitting on it eating a cookie, while the other taps away at her computer.

“Sorry no can do,” She shrugs, “I don’t know it,”

“How can you not know it, you baked them right?” He asks, trying to steal another one and getting his hand slapped away.

“Nope, new vigilante came in, beat up someone robbing my house and baked me cookies,”

“This is Gotham so I believe the first two,” He looks between her and the container, “But cookies?”

“They also gave me free therapy,” She shrugs, before tapping on the container,“And do you really believe I could make these?”

“Touche,” He smirks leaning back on the desk, “So who’s the new guy? With the Batclan?”

“No they said they were just passing through,” She doesn't look up from her computer, focusing intently on the screen, “Names Starling,”

“Never heard of them,”

“Neither, and I tried looking them up,” She sighs, pushing back from the computer in defeat, “Found someone, but it’s not them, actually couldn't find anything on them,”

“Weird,” He gets up from the desk, “Can’t imagine Batman is going to take kindly to a new vigilante running around,”

“Unless he adopts them,”

“That… yeah he probably will,”

"Oh no-CLAIRE" The speaker trying to wrangle her class stops, "We have a problem!"

"Sorry to cut this short," Claire doesn't look sorry at all, "Seems we have important matters to tend to,"

She follows Dick out of the department, ushering her class as she goes. Claire looks over at her like she has two heads, a mixture of impressed and pity, and perhaps a bit of jealously.

They get to go further up the building, to the higher floors. They reach a space that is mostly meeting rooms. He class decide to take advantage of Dick declaring they are completely sound proof, or maybe they took it as a challenge. Marinette is walking past a hall when someone leaning against the wall catches her eye.

“Auntie Selina?!”

They look around, only spotting Marinette seconds before they collide into a hug, she feels the tingling buzz of a true holder.

“Mari!” Selina picks her up and spins her around, no different from when she was five, “Oh, my love it’s so good to see you, when did you arrive in Gotham?”

Marinette watches as her smile morphs into horror.

“Wait, what are you doing in Gotham!?”

“It’s a class trip and- hey where are we going?” Her Auntie grabs her arm pulling her down the hall.

“Marinette!” Dick calls, walking around the corner, Selina makes a sharp turn down another corridor, “Wait!”

Selina is two steps away from running as she pulls Marinette through the maze of hallways.

“Auntie where are we going?”

“Down here,” She opens the door leading to a staircase, too narrow to be a fire exit.

“That’s not really what I was asking,”

Selina inputs a key code, the door swinging open as she is pulled into the room.

“Wait!” She gets pulled through another door just as quick “Was that wall full of weapons?”

“Just a picture sweetie,” She says sweetly, “Down these stairs,”

“Aunt Selina what are we running from?” They are running now, floor after floor.

“We’re not running from anything sweetie,” Selina speeds up, “I just wanted to show you a cool spot in Gotham,”

“Right,” Marinette raises an eyebrow, “I was actually with the class so maybe we could go later?”

“It closes in five minutes,”

“Like you wouldn’t just break in if we were going somewhere,”

“I promise I will take you somewhere nice,” She smiles back at Marinette, they reach the end of the stairs, coming to a garage of sorts, “If you promise to hurry up,”

“Sure-” She does a double take, of the room, “Hold up are those costumes?”

“Collectors stuff, you know,” They are surrounded by bat themed... everything, “Rich people,”

“Right and how do you know this?”

“I-” She hesitates, eyes drifting, “Hey look, the exit!”

They all out sprint towards the exit. Selina reaches out to open the door a second after it swings open.

“Selina,” The man smiles at Selina as she runs into him.

“Hey Bruce,” Selina jumps back, trying to hide Marinette behind her.

“Where are you going?” Bruce looks behind her at Marinette, who gives a little wave.

“Out! Got to hurry!” She grabs Marinette's arm again, trying to pull her around Bruce.

“Is something wrong?” Bruce grabs Selina's shoulders to keep her still and looking at him.

“Nope nothings wrong,” She wriggles out of his grasp, trying again to pull Marinette away.

“Ok then,” Bruce still looks worried but turns to Marinette instead, “Hello I’m Bruce Wayne, Selina finance,”

“YOU’RE HER WHAT!?”

“Snitch,” He Auntie spits out venomously.

“Why didn’t you tell me!?” Marinette asks her with the biggest grin.

“Surprise,” Selina gives half heated jazz hands.

“Wait! Whens the wedding? Do You have a dress? I’ll make one!” She deicides, brining out her sketchbook, drawing different designs, “What's the theme? Never mind tell me on the way to the fabric store, I’ll sketch up some designs,”

“Darling, please-” Selina is now getting pulled along.

“Oh! I’ll call Papa! I’m sure he’ll want to make your cake! We have to hurry, come on lets go!” They're already out the door, Marinette waves turning back to Bruce, “Nice meeting you!”

“What just happened?” Bruce asks Dick as he runs up next to him.

“She kidnapped one of the students on tour,”

“Who is now making her wedding dress,” Bruce nods, not understanding anything

“Did I miss something?”

I think we all did

--------------------

Taglist:

@smolplantmum @flufflepuffle296 @dawnwave16  @caffeinetheory   @g-arya   @Maribat-2k20   @ladybug-182    @Actual-disaster-human    @fusser90   @messrs-weasley   @soap-lady  @paintedhope7   @zeneralla    @mochegato     @random-nerd-3 @clumsy-owl-4178  @throneoffirebreathingbitchqueen   @too0bsessedformyowngood @certifiedbidisaster  @Purplegeekypanda @awkward0ghostfan @theymakeupfairies @tikki-marinette @insane-fangirl-of-everything @elmokingkong @inarachi02 @slytherinhquinn @moongoddesskiana @dast218 @buginetye @redscarlet95

[haechanhues]

Like Unrequited PT III

Part ONE | Part TWO | Part THREE | Part FOUR

pairing : heeseung x fem!reader / sunghoon x fem!reader

genre : angst/fluff. bulleted. 

warnings : swearing. boy is a bit of a mess. some pushing and shoving. sunghoon gets all huffy and puffy. 

summary : i see your confession and i raise you triple. 

You’ve started coming to lunch holding Sunghoon’s hand 

It doesn’t bother Heeseung really 

You were always smiling and really giddy whenever he was around 

Cool 

That was fine 

Heeseung rolled his tongue into his cheek whenever he saw Sunghoon though 

Sunghoon was always so- 

Smug 

Something told Heeseung he wasn’t genuine but when he brought it up with Ryujin or Jay 

‘Dude, Sunghoon’s her friend first before anything else. She’s allowed to have other friends.’ 

And you were 

He just wanted you to have better ones 

Or at least one that didn’t cross a line 

Besides 

It took time for people to get over others 

It had barely been two months 

‘She’s started to act normal around you, again. Don’t fuck it up.’ 

And you truly had 

It was like you never confessed really 

Except now you were always on his mind (in a real platonic way) 

You came to greet him in the morning really sweetly 

Sometimes you’d buy him a drink or a little sushi roll on your way to school 

He had smiled at you 

Until the words 

‘I popped into your favourite shop with Sunghoon in the morning on the way to school’ 

Came out of your mouth 

His heart dropped 

You took Sunghoon to his favourite shop? 

He frowned at you with harsh eyebrows 

The displeasure on his face impossible to write over it 

‘You took him there?’ 

‘Yeah.’ 

‘That was our thing, Y/N.’

‘Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realise.’ 

‘Well- you’re not too good at the whole realising thing are you?’ 

He mumbled 

Your lips straightened in a tight line 

you felt like crying 

And yet you tried to act as everything was normal - like he hadn’t just said that to you 

Heeseung felt horrible 

But he didn’t feel like apologising 

He meant every single world that came out of his mouth 

Well 

Until lunch came around and you sat next to Sunghoon without the hesitation Heeseung always fails to see 

Sunghoon peeked at your expression and then looked at Heeseung sulking in the corner 

He rolled his eyes 

Boys are so fucking dumb 

He held your hand as you struggled to gain composure of your emotions

You looked at him with a wave of gratitude you took in Sunghoon’s features 

You could feel your heart thrumming against your chest as he softly smiled at you 

Sunghoon had become your safe space 

Well and truly 

You found yourself always looking for him when he wasn’t around 

And getting somewhat down when he wasn’t there 

He held you in the palm of his hand 

But you didn’t seem to care 

After a few days, when Heeseung appeared to be feeling less shitty than that Monday morning and Sunghoon wasn’t around, you approached him 

He was the one to plan the hangout 

Not you 

You even withheld the afternoon you were planning to spend time with Jake and Sunghoon for it 

Sunghoon was sulking about it 

But because he knew that you wanted to patch things up with Heeseung, he let it be 

Attempted to 

Because when the day came around, Heeseung was nowhere in sight 

Nowhere 

He didn’t text or call 

He never messaged you 

You found it he wasn’t coming on your own 

It had been two hours and yet you stayed put 

Sunghoon rang you when the day was starting to get dark 

‘How was your hang out?’ 

‘....’ 

‘Y/N?’ 

‘Can you come and get me?’ 

‘...Where are you?’ 

‘I’ll text it to you.’ 

Sunghoon arrives - concerned and quite frankly pissed off 

You can feel the fire on him as he takes your face in his hands 

His fingertips soak up the tears that threaten to cascade down your cheeks

‘I’m sorry.’ 

‘Why are you sorry?’ 

‘I blew off our plans for Heeseung and he didn’t even show up.’ 

He hushed you, pulling you into his chest 

He remained soft with you 

Holding your hand at all times when he took you home 

‘I’m going to be honest, Y/N. I’m angry. I’m so angry. I want you to know I’m going to be petty as fuck and not mature at all.’ 

You stared at him a little 

‘I’m serious, Y/N.’ 

‘Okay. Understood.’ 

You smiled at him

He rolled his eyes, ‘Good, I’ll see you tomorrow. If you ditch, I ditch too.’ 

‘You’ve got a test tomorrow.’ 

‘Well, let’s hope you come to school then’ 

‘This isn’t very nice, Sunghoon.’ 

He smiled and shrugged 

‘Oh well.’ 

You were left open mouthed as he drove away with the biggest fakesmile on his face 

The next day you showed up to school

Sunghoon grinned a little evil smile at the sight of you before pulling away 

You turned towards Jake 

‘Is this the Sunghoon you were talking about?’ 

‘..What?’ 

‘You know. A little evil mean streak?’ 

‘I’m sorry. You’re going to have to explain everything with context.’ 

As Jake kept you company and got his fill of the drama that happened last night 

Sunghoon was on a mission 

His stride was vigorous and hasty - borderline bloodthirsty 

He looked like he was ready to rip someone into shreds 

Sunghoon stopped in the doorway of the classroom next to his 

Students sat back in their seats, laughing and chattig about with their friends 

Heeseung was doing the same with Jay and the other boys 

Ryujin sat next to Niki in an attempt to actually complete the homework assigned for the afternoon 

He loomed over Heeseung 

‘Outside.’  

Sunghoon seethed 

Everyone looked back at the two with a curious but cautious gaze 

When they were outside, away from the eyes of the rest of the students (except the few stragglers that stayed behind) Sunghoon turned towards Heeseung 

‘You know what I’m going to say right?’ 

Heeseung glared at Sunghoon

‘No’ 

Sunghoon became even more furious, ‘I don’t know if you’re just playing dumb or you’ve actually fucking forgotten.’ 

Heeseung squints at Sunghoon in confusion

Sunghoon snarls 

‘How was your night last night, bro?’ 

‘Have a nice time?’ 

All Heeseung can focus on is how much he hates the guy 

‘I hope it’s better than the night Y/N had.’ 

A pin drops 

Realisation rolls down his throat and robs him of the ability to talk 

Sunghoon’s eyes light up at the recognition on Heeseung’s face before sharpening again, ‘Great. Now, we’ve got that out of the way...’ 

‘Why weren’t you there? I thought all the jealousy would’ve gotten you motivated. Clearly it didn’t.’ 

Sunghoon is just point blank nasty as he approaches Heeseung with no intention of stopping 

‘You better sharpen the fuck up. If I had it my way, i’d tell you to stay the fuck away from her. But she values you in a friendship way, which can’t be good for her.’ 

Heeseung’s temper rises and in his own fuelled rage, he pushes Sunghoon back 

‘And who the fuck are you to tell me? Mind your own fucking business.’ 

With a last shove from Sunghoon, Heeseung tumbles onto the ground, scraping his hands on the concrete. 

‘She is my fucking business.’ 

‘No she’s not.’ 

‘Well she sure isn’t yours! If you had feelings for her, you should tell her instead of being a fucking dick about it. Show her you care about her in some way. Cause this is fucking bullshit.’ 

Sunghoon has the decency not to spit on Heeseung’s face before he walks away 

It’s like the air is filled with smoke and regret as Heeseung buries his head into his hands 

How the fuck could he have forgotten?

Sunghoon was still angry on his way back to his classroom 

So much so that he made a detour towards the exit 

Fuck the test 

He was going home 

The only trouble was you 

You caught him just before the entrance doors

Sunghoon frowned at the obstacle in his dramatic exit before making eye contact with you 

His eyes softened a little 

But his scowl returned 

‘What’s wrong with you?’ 

He growled before attempting to knock over the rubbish bin 

You frowned before pushing his chest away 

You made a small confused snort 

‘What did the rubbish bin do to you?’ 

Sunghoon brushed his hair back, ‘Nothing.’ 

You made a face before creating a wall in front of him 

‘Hey’ 

Sunghoon sighed and grumbled a little 

‘Hoon.’ 

He bit his lips in frustration, he attempted to look at you 

Instead 

He soured as he spotted Heeseung walking through the doors, avoiding your eyes and Sunghoon’s temper 

You followed the direction of his eyes before you returned to the dormant hellfire in front of you 

His eyes still glowered into Heeseung’s back 

You softly directed his face towards you, your thumb and forefinger softly tracing the moons of his cheek 

‘Hey.’ 

He made eye contact with you and your eyes were swimming with concern and confusion 

You smiled before pressing a soft kiss to the cheek you were tracing 

‘You’re stupid. But, thank you.’

Sunghoon rolled his eyes 

‘Thanks.’ 

‘After your test, come find me.’ 

Sunghoon nodded, hugging you close before he let you go, letting the warmth of your body cool the fire in his bones 

And find you he did 

You hounded him with questions 

‘Did you really do your test?’ 

‘Yes.’ 

‘You’re not lying to me.’ 

‘No’ 

‘Because if you are-’ 

Sunghoon groaned, grabbing your lips with his hand, ‘Babe, if you ask me one more thing about the test I want to forget...’ 

He looked warningly into your eyes before grabbing your hand 

You could only stare blankly and with a pinkish hue to your cheeks 

Babe? 

authors note : so uhm- part four anybody? part three was getting a bit too long so I’ve added another chapter. 

[t-lostinworlds]

I’ve Got You, Always (Tom Holland)

A/N: This has been sitting in my draft for a lil bit and I just got around to finish it. Also, this may seem rushed, which it is, kind of, but I hope you guys still like it <3

Pairing: Tom Holland x Actress!Reader

Summary: An interviewer asked you a topic that was off limits which prompted a panic attack and Tom decides to step in.

Warnings: slight angst, mentions of past trauma, panic attack, and angry tom but with fluff in the end.

Word Count: 2.4k+

Masterlist in Bio

-:-:-:-:-

You were sat inside a room across an empty chair with the microphone all hooked up. A movie poster showing only your face — looking all horrified and troubled — was right behind you as the official one stood on the opposite side, right beside where the interviewer would be seated.

Two cameras stood on its rightful places for two continuous shots, accompanied by big blaring lights that illuminated the whole room. There were a maximum of six people occupying the space to make sure everything was working just fine and that the interviews go as smoothly as they could.

It's the last press for the day and you were more than relieved.

Not necessarily dreadful — you love your job — but it is draining doing junket, especially when you've been doing it for hours on end. Redundant questions are inescapable and they usually turn boring after countless times of repeating, but you answer them as thoughtful as you can anyway, being that you're the most proud of this movie.

You're always thankful for the interviewers who spice things up a little, make it more interesting than the whole simple question, simple answer routine. Even more so if they get to ask a genuinely good question that would pick your brain to tell more about the movie.

However, you didn't expect the last interview to be quite different from the others, but not in a way that you'd like it to be.

"Hi I'm Jim, nice to meet you." A guy, looking like he's on his late-20s, offered you a hand, which you shook politely with a smile. "Y/N, nice to meet you too."

And just as Jim prepped himself for the interview the door opens, your head turning instinctively to see Tom making his way inside with Harry right on his tail.

Catching your eyes, Tom flashed you a slightly tired yet relieved smile; relieved to finally get to see your beautiful face after such a long day. You were just the same as you felt yourself relax with a sigh, your heart melting as Tom gave you a cute wave, blowing you a sweet kiss before he found a place to sit just beside your agent.

Comic-con was just across the hotel that you're doing junket at, Tom spending all day there to promote his own movie as well. You were lucky enough that your schedule and location managed to tie in together, hence why he's here at the moment. Maybe his day ended earlier than expected and you were glad, excited to spend time with him after you're finished.

"Right, we ready?" The voice made you tear your eyes away from your boyfriend and back to the person in front of you, just in time to see him putting the familiar piece of paper down, one that's been passed on from interviewer to interviewer.

"Ready." You answered with a nod, throwing an upturned thumb for good measure.

"Recording."

"I'm Jim for HBC and today we are joined by the star of the upcoming movie The Cry, Y/N L/N, how are you?" Jim started before turning to face you with a smile. You nodded with a grin in return. "I'm good thank you."

"Now, the last few films you've done were romantic comedies or light-hearted films in general, how did it feel to do a complete 180 and star in a much different film this time around?" Jim asked.

You crossed your legs with a hum. "It felt interesting and quite challenging for sure but I'm glad to have taken up this opportunity because now I get to push myself to see how far I can go, and how much I can do be able to broaden my range as an actor."

"What's the difficult part about filming the movie?"

"I think for me, filming wasn't as difficult as the after? I was never good with horror movies when I was a child, I get so scared so easily so coming home after shooting was tough. During filming was fine because there are a lot of people and distractions and you know it's not real but after filming, when you get home and then you start thinking about what the whole scene actually was? It gets scary. I keep looking behind my back all the time and I definitely slept with the lights on." You giggled with a shake of your head, keeping the tone of the interview as casual and calm, that, until Jim got to his next question.

He sat straighter, eyes narrowing slightly as he turned the piece of paper in his hand. "Speaking of childhood, with what I've researched, I've noticed how you don't speak much about your family, why is that?"

You blinked in shock, totally caught off guard as you tried to wrap your head around his question. "I'm sorry?"

He did read the paper that was given to him right?

"Your family, how do they feel seeing you in this massive but jarring movie? What do they think of it? Or do they not know that you've got a movie coming out?" Jim was trying to act nonchalant about it, but it was clear as day what he was trying to do, trying to pry out what would make people talk and click on his interview: some drama.

"I—uhm, I'm not comfortable with that topic. I can't answer it, I'm sorry." You tried to laugh it off, but the sound only came out forced, fingers picking at the material of your jeans as the atmosphere in the room was quick switch, turning unpleasant, awkward.

Jim didn't seem to notice this though, or he did and he just simply didn't care as he kept at it with the topic. "Why not? This movie, after all, is a family movie."

It wasn't.

It's a horror movie. There's a family in it sure, but his question still doesn't correlate with the plot of the movie at all.

You cleared your throat as you shifted in your seat, eyes darting around, glancing at Tom for only a split second, the lad just noticing your agitated state being that he was slightly distracted, talking with Harry about something.

"Can we move on, please?" Your voice was soft, controlled even, but your palms were turning clammy by the second, counting inside your head as you tried your best to keep your breathing even.

Jim only hummed at that, head tilted to the side as he asked, without precaution whatsoever. "Why? Did something traumatic happen?"

That's when you felt your throat tightly close up, darkness slowly creeping in your mind, heart hammering, hard against your chest at the memory, tears prickling in your eyes as you gasp for air.

"I—I'm s-sorry, I can't—" You looked around the room for help and your gaze immediately landed on Tom who was already sitting on the edge of his seat. His eyes were coated with utter worry when it locked with yours, and he didn't waste any time as he made his way towards you hurriedly once he took in the look of pure dread and panic on your face.

"Take the mic off her." Tom spoke through gritted teeth as he helped you stand up, voice deep in anger, the sound man quickly fumbling with the wires to help get the mic off of you.

Tom held your face with both hands, your trembling fingers wrapping around his wrist for support once he did so. He felt his heart break when he saw your eyes shut tight, tears already streaming down your cheeks as your tried to catch your breath. And to see you in utter distraught because of some douche who wants a clickable headline? It made his blood fucking boil.

"Harry—" Tom didn't need to finish his sentence as his brother got the drift real quick, Harry throwing a protective arm over your shaking form as he guided you out of the room.

"No. You, sit back down. I'd like to have a word with you." Tom growled, glare dead set on Jim once he saw him slowly get out of his seat.

Tom's jaw was clenched as he took your place and sat on the chair right across Jim, arms crossed over his chest with a look of pure disdain on his features. "Right, I believe you were given a piece of paper."

"I—uh, this one?" Jim fumbled, handing Tom a piece of paper to which the lad snatched, gave it a quick read before handing it back to him.

"Yes, that's the one. Now tell me, what does it say? Can you read that out for me?" Tom said coolly, but his eyes were shooting daggers at the man in front of him, leg bouncing to try and rid just a little bit of anger off his body.

Jim cleared his throat and did as told. "It says uh, 'Kindly refrain from asking questions about her family. Thank you.'"

Tom nodded with a scoff. "Glad to know you can read mate."

With a deep, sharp intake of breath, Tom leaned forward, jaw tight as he pressed his palms together. "You think it's okay to press that question on her when she clearly was uncomfortable? Do you think she has that piece of paper handed over to each interviewer just for fucking fun Jim?"

If looks could kill, Jim would've been on the floor seconds ago, and clearly he felt that as he started to cower under Tom's gaze. "I'm sorry, I just asked questions."

"Well clearly you asked the wrong ones. She kindly requested you to move on, she told you she wasn't comfortable with the topic and what exactly did you do? You asked her about it some more! She's here to talk about the movie and promote the movie, not her life." Tom seethed, face red from rage with his nostrils flaring to match. He wanted to be civil about it, to be calm and collected but it just angered him so much knowing the pain that you were reminded of because of how stupid and disrespectful a person can be.

"Y/N is such a sweetheart, such a kind soul and I'm not going to sit here and let you take advantage of that for fucking views or clicks or whatever the fuck you were trying to gain from this. Even the fact that you're trying to gain something from someone's trauma, you should be ashamed of yourself."

Tom was aware that maybe the camera was still rolling, and that this could go out to the internet and make him look like an asshole but he could careless, he wasn't in the wrong. He was so fed up with these so called journalists who only care about clickbaity headlines and drama filled stories for good profit more than delivering the actual truth of the story. If they cross a line, then they need to be put back in place, especially when it's affecting someone who he cares so much about.

Before Tom could add another word Harry butted in. "Tom—"

"I'm not yet done here Harry." The older brother grumbled, eyes still glued on Jim who was looking everywhere but at him.

"She needs you."

That was all it took for Tom to calm back down, shooting Harry a nod and standing up from his place. But before leaving, he gave Jim one last pointed look.

"We do these interviews to talk about our craft, not our personal life. People's private lives are none of your business. It's not yours to meddle with, not yours to gain profit from. If you can't seem to understand that simple logic then you're just a dumb dickhead."

With that, Tom followed Harry outside the room, his heart shattering once he saw you sat on a chair, head hanging low as your body still raked with sobs, slight guilt consuming him for not being with you sooner.

Tom rushed in front of you, crouching down as he tried to search for your eyes.

"Darling, hey, it's me, look at me." He coed, hands gently cupping your face to make you look up, his worry ever growing to see your eyes still screwed shut, tears endlessly flowing down your cheeks, chest heaving fast as you try to take a hold of your breath.

"Open those beautiful eyes for me baby, look at me." Slowly, you willed yourself to open your eyes, meeting brown orbs filled with nothing but concern, though the familiar gaze made you felt calmer, safer.

Gently, Tom took both your hands and pressed it, palms flat on his chest, a reassuring smile on his lips as he whispered. "Breathe with me angel. In and out, breathe in through the nose, and out of the mouth. That's it darling." He repeated over and over, his tone kind, patient.

You followed Tom's soft voice, never breaking his gaze that was grounding you back to earth, the feeling of the steady beat of his heart against your palm, slowing down the fast pace of your own heart.

Once you felt calmer, a little more collected, You leaned forward as you wrapped your arms around him, face buried on the crook of his neck with small sobs.

"I'm right here. You're safe." Tom muttered against your hair, hand rubbing up and down your back comfortingly, his embrace warm and secure, his arms your safe place, he was your safe place.

"Thank you." You whispered against his skin with a sniffle, Tom giving you a gentle squeeze in response.

"I've got you, always."

Hearing those words filled you up with warmth, filling you up with reassurance knowing that you could always count on him, that you'll always have him, no matter what, and you'll forever be grateful for that.

Pulling away slightly, Tom flashed you a sweet, reassuring smile, placing a soft peck on your lips before speaking. "Let's go back to our room yeah? I'll run you a warm bath, we'll watch any movie you want, then pizza and ice cream for dinner. Sounds good?"

You nodded with a small smile of your own, Tom standing up fully and offering you both his hands to hold, which you took gladly as he helped you back up your feet, keeping you close by his side as you walked back to your room.

With his arm over your shoulder you leaned your weight on him. Not afraid to lean all your trust on him, all your love because you know, with every fibre of your being, in the deepest depths of your heart and soul:

He's got you, always.

-:-:-:-:-

Like, Reblog & Leave a Comment if you enjoyed! Tell me your thoughts! <3

Tom H. Taglist: @spacebitch2​ @hollanddolanfangirl @keepingupwiththehollands @hollandstea

[talkfastromance4]

2.) Without Me--Ashton Irwin ‘Lovers in a Song’ series

a/n: So while each ‘chapter’ is titled after a song it’s more of the mood and a few choice lyrics that really made the story. This story changed a lot as I wrote it but in the end it all flows really nicely together. I’m so excited to share this with you! Each part is 3,000 with the exception of the last part. Please don’t hesitate to send me messages, I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Word count: 3k

warnings: casual drinking, unprotected sex, fingering, slight angst 

Masterlist

LIAS masterlist

***

5 Years Ago

It’s raining cats and dogs on campus, the last night before graduation and Ashton is at one of the dive bars he frequented over his four years at school. There’s hardly anyone here and he’s staring at the bottle with his initials scrawled in golden loops with morose. After tomorrow when he walks across the stage, Ashton will take over the family whisky business. It’s been set in stone and passed on from generation to generation. It’s his namesake and his destiny.

“Go away! I don’t want to see you ever again and thank God after tomorrow I won’t have to!” A shrill voice erupts through the door. “Asshole!”

Ashton turns at the sudden outburst to see a beautiful girl drenched to the bone shaking off her coat before hanging it on the coat rack. Her hair hangs in wet strands reaching a little past her chest, her makeup is a bit smudged but damn, she’s a looker. Ashton’s seen her on campus and at parties but never knew her name.

She takes the seat one over from him.

“Rum and coke please, Teddy,” she asks the bartender setting her purse on the counter. She lets out a deep sigh and takes out a compact, snatches a napkin then dabs at her face. She closes the compact with a snap then smiles her thanks as her drink is presented before her. She drinks half of it in one go.

It hasn’t even been a minute and she’s already done so much to keep Ashton’s attention piqued. Who is this free-spirited woman?

“Can I help you?” her attention is directed at him, big eyes staring expectantly.

“Um, no, sorry you just…are you all right?” he asks.

“I am now,” she lifts her glass and takes another sip. “And now that my asshole boyfriend is an ex. I’m so glad I’m graduating tomorrow.”

“You are too? Congratulations,” Ashton grins and she smiles back.

“What’s your name? I’ve seen you around campus before.”

“I’m Ashton,” he holds out his hand making sure not to give his last name. Even if it is stamped on a bottle nearly six feet away.

“Cressida,” she returns and takes his hand.

Her hand is cold and wet from the rain, but a spark of electricity is transferred through them. They jump at the contact and laugh.

“I’ve never heard a name like that before.”

“My parents love Greek mythology. It means gold.”

“It’s also the third precious metal,” Ashton adds. Cressida raises her eyebrows and laughs. He only knows this because his family is trying a new concoction to add gold flakes in their newest whisky brand.

“What’s the first?”

“I have no idea,” he chuckles. “I should have paid more attention in science class. I remember gold because it’s beautiful, useful, and rare.”

“Are you sure you’re still talking about the gold or is this your Segway into a pick-up line?”

“No, no, I swear that’s not what I’m—”

“I mean it’s working in your favor, Ashton, so by all means,” she smiles interrupting his apology.

“Oh, it is, is it?”

Her eyes move to his empty glass.

“Let me buy you a drink, what’s your poison?”

Ashton doesn’t want to say whisky, it’s been on his mind since he was old enough to understand what it was. He’s also worried if he says it, Cressida will immediately know who he is. His family’s whisky is known all around the world.

“I’ll have what you’re having.”

An hour later they’re stools are so close together her legs have somehow found their way over his, and Ashton loves the warmth through his jeans. She notices the gold ring on his finger with a small ruby nestled inside.

“Is this real gold?” she asks tracing it with her pinky.

“Are you going to rob me?” he jokes.

“No, gold is only the third precious metal after all,” she giggles.

“It’s real. It was my great grandfather’s,” Ashton nods.

“It’s pretty.”

“You’re pretty.”

Cressida’s eyes sparkle up to his and the way he’s looking at her makes her stomach flip and her cheeks heat up. No one has ever looked at her with such intensity before, not even her asshole boyfriend.

“Are you doing anything between now and walking the stage tomorrow?” she asks taking a leap. Ashton shakes his head, and she leans forward, her lips grazing his cheek before touching his ear. “Wanna do me?”

Ashton slaps down some bills on the bar and moves towards the door as quick as he can helping her put her coat on. He notices there isn’t a hood, but he brought an umbrella.

“My apartment is only ten minutes away,” he says holding up his red umbrella.

They walk through the rain filled street, her arm looped through his as they talk about school and friends and what their next step is after graduation. Ashton tries to deter that conversation from him, he wants to forget about it if only for a night. And Cressida is the perfect distraction.

“I’m going to spend the summer in Europe,” she says, “I’ll be in charge of my family’s business soon, so I want a bit more freedom. I’m going to visit all of the museums and the historical landmarks.”

“That sounds really great, I wish I could do that.”

“Why don’t you?”

“I’m also taking over my family’s business as soon as I cross the stage it’s mine. It’s a big responsibility.”

She hums in acknowledgment then gasps when he stops at his building. It’s only slightly ostentatious with a secured door and a security guard inside. She’s staring at the gold mailbox slots when Ashton spins her into the elevator, she giggles against his chest. Then Ashton cups her cheek and slots his lips with hers.

She tastes like rum and coke and a night to remember, his last night of freedom. They’re stumbling through his door, removing clothes as quickly as possible. They roll around his sheets, laughing and moaning and exploring each other’s bodies. Ashton rocks into her and she moves easily, picking up on his pace like this is the hundredth time instead of the first.

“Wow,” she huffs when he collapses on top of her after he came in the condom.

“I’ll say,” he grins and pecks her nose before rolling off her to remove the condom. He retrieves two bottles of water and hands her one, climbing in next to her.

“So, Ashton,” she sighs staring at him with mussed up hair. “What is your family business?”

“I…I don’t know if I want to tell you.”

“What? Are you part of the mafia?” she snickers twisting her hair into a very loose braid. The ends of her hair tickle her nipple and Ashton slides his eyes to her face.

“No,” he laughs, “It’s just…people treat me differently when they know.”

“I can relate to that, that’s why I don’t go around shouting mine from the rooftops either. Tell me, I promise I will still look at you as the guy who picked me up at a bar because of a gold fact.”

Ashton rolls his eyes then takes a deep breath.

“All right. My family owns Irwin Whisky, my grandfather created it back in the prohibition days. After tomorrow, I’m in charge.”

Cressida is silent for a long time, just staring at him with a vacant expression on her face.

“What? What is it?” Ashton asks in alarm sitting up straight.

“Ashton, my last name is James. As in James Brandy.”

Ashton’s heart plummets to his stomach. While he was learning about whisky growing up he also learned that his grandfather started the business with his good friend, Walter James. After the prohibition was over, they joined all of their assets to get the company rolling.

Then there was a fallout due to unpaid expenses and a deal Walter made without consulting Ashton’s great grandfather Frank that could have upended the company before it really started. Ashton learned about distillery and grains and wheat and also to never, ever interact with a James’ family member. All they’ll do is double cross you and keep secrets.

And now he just had sex with his family’s enemy.

Ashton and Cressida meet each other’s eye before they both leap out of bed. He’s quickly pulling on some pants while she’s slipping her sweater over her head, both of them shouting nonsensical words in surprise.

“Why didn’t you tell me at the bar?!” she demands.

“I just told you I don’t go around saying my name because people treat me differently! You didn’t tell me yours either!”

“How was I supposed to know I was hitting on an Irwin!” she rages trying to find her pants. “No one can ever know about this; oh, my mother would kill me!”

“At least you’re going to Europe for three months,” Ashton seethes.

“You could go too, you know. Just because you’re taking over the business doesn’t mean you’re trapped,” she snaps.

“Then why are you going?”

She lets out an angry huff and throws her hands in the air. “My trip doesn’t matter right now! What matters is that we just had sex.”

“Yeah, I was there,” he rolls his eyes then stops his actions of frantically moving about. He’s not even sure why he was doing so, it’s not like the SWAT team was going to come bursting through his door. “Wait, wait, what are we doing?”

“I’m trying to find my pants so I can leave!”

Ashton rushes in front of her and grabs her shoulders, he shakes her slightly until she’s looking at him.

“No, I mean…why are we acting like the ceiling is going to collapse? Was it a mistake we did this? Probably, but I don’t regret it Cressida, not one bit. You’re…”

“I’m what?” her eyes are blazing and that’s when Ashton notices the small flecks of gold inside of them.

“You’re gold; precious and beautiful and the rarest girl I’ve ever met in my life. No one has to know about this except us,” he shakes his head.

“You’re saying ‘this’ as if ‘this’ is something…”

“It could be,” he shrugs, his eyes imploring her to meet him in the middle. “I thought this was going to be a one-time thing, but after being with you…and hearing you’re going to Europe. I want that, too.”

“You want to go to Europe with me? Ashton, we just met and found out our families are like the Montagues and the Capulets. Do you remember the ending to that story?”

“I’m not saying we share the same car to the airport where we can be seen together. I don’t want to let you go just yet.”

“Ash, this is crazy!”

“If it’s so crazy then why aren’t you still trying to find your clothes?”

She opens her mouth to retort something but closes it because she has nothing to say. Even though they just met, that spark they felt at the bar continued to his bed. It was as if they knew each other from a different life and were reconnecting all over again.

“Maybe I’ll make the mistake and book a trip to Europe and mistakenly run into you at an art museum,” he says tugging her sweater off her again. “And maybe I’ll mistakenly lose my hotel key and stay with you.”

He bends down pressing his lips to her neck where he sucked a mark only forty-five minutes ago. Cressida sighs into him, her hands holding onto his neck as he kisses the lobe of her ear.

“How does that sound?”

She can picture it. They’ll be in another country where their family won’t see unless photographers capture them, but they both aren’t the face of the name of their family business yet. They’re still young and free for a little while longer. She’s happy she stumbled into the bar where he as and that he found her when her heart was broke.

“Then be my mistake,” she sighs capturing his lips with hers and they fall back onto the bed a tangle of limbs and moans.

*

“What’s on your mind over there?” she asks while they have breakfast on the balcony. The sun is warm on their backs as they indulge in pancakes, waffles, and bacon.

“I’m thinking of Europe,” he squeezes her calf that is resting on his lap. When they woke up she didn’t bring up the night before of her crying and he didn’t either, but the axe is still hanging over their heads. It’s only a matter of time before it comes striking down.

“That was the longest we were together,” she smiles fondly at the memory of many late starts in the morning. “I loved those three months. And now we only have three—”

“Cressida, don’t,” Ashton shakes his head and sets his espresso cup on the saucer. He drags her onto his lap, and she hooks her arms around his neck and shoulders. “We’ve agreed that when we’re here, the outside world doesn’t exist. We have until Monday to face the music.”

“The music won’t shut up in my head,” she knocks her forehead against his.

“I think I can help with that,” he mutters slipping his hand under the hem of her robe.

Cressida gasps as his finger nudges her center, she tries to kiss him, but her attention is otherwise occupied on his finger that is now twiddling inside her. Her back arches as she rocks on top of him, the shoulder of her robe falls down exposing her breast that Ashton quickly sucks into his mouth. Cressida moans in pleasure from both stimulations, she spreads her legs wider and Ashton bites onto her nipple.

“So pretty when you moan,” he mumbles on her skin and adds another finger. He works her over, scissoring and twiddling against her walls as his thumb presses against her clit harshly.

“Ash!” she chokes out yanking on his hair.

“That’s right, I’m the only thing that should be on your mind. Come for me, baby.”

He moves his arm faster and her toes curl as her head spins in pleasure. She’s panting his name like a prayer then finally slips her tongue in his mouth. This kiss reminds her of their last morning in Europe. They were having breakfast and the finality of their time together loomed over them like a dark cloud. Neither one of them wanted to go because they didn’t know when the next time they’d see each other would be.

She kisses him more fiercely, trying to push that sad memory away and the dark cloud that’s above them now. Sensing her urgency, Ashton removes his fingers from inside her and carries her into the room. She drops to the bed untying her robe watching with hunger in her eyes as he removes his loose sweatpants. He’s already hard and throbbing for her.

Ashton pushes her knees to her chest, kissing over the initials he branded on her skin last night, over her navel and finally to her mouth. He pushes himself inside her, they both groan at him going in dry but he knows it won’t be long until she’s lubricated herself for him.

“You’re perfect for me,” Ashton sighs rocking his hips into hers. The dry rub is becoming more fluid as he thrusts shallowly in and out of her.

“You’re my gold,” her nails scrape into his 5 o’clock shadow and nips at his lips.

“No baby,” he gives her a deep thrust that has her moan loudly. “That’s you.”

When she’s slick enough, Ashton flips her over onto her stomach, her face pressed to the robe and her hair draped over her back gloriously.

“Ready for me, angel?” he asks gripping her hips tightly and presses between her folds.

“Always.”

Ashton drives himself into her, skin slapping against skin drifts outside in the morning breeze. He fucks into her desperately, wanting this moment to last forever and when she starts to rock back against him, he swears he sees stars. They’re frantic, it’s chaotic, it’s their secret of this love affair in physical form.

“Right there, Ash, yes!” she mewls tossing her head back.

Ashton fists his hand into her hair, tilting her head up so he can suck on her neck as he continues to plow into her. She’s choking on moans and his name, begging for her release.

“Give it to me, Cressida,” he breathes, and she falls apart at the sound of her name.

She squeezes on his cock and Ashton can’t hold on much longer from that as she relishes in her orgasm. Before he can comprehend what’s happening, he’s spilling inside her and they collapse onto the bed, their bodies slick with sweat. He’s never come inside her before, a rule they agreed on together because that would only complicate things more. But this weekend, all bets are off.

Her hair sticks to his chest and he trembles, rocking his hips until he’s finished. Ashton brushes her hair from her back, and he kisses sweetly onto her spine while Cressida gathers her breath. She gathers his fingers with hers, bringing them to her lips and kisses them. He breathes her in, a mixture of her own scent and his combined. It’s intoxicating.

“I’ll go get a towel,” he inhales heavily through his nose, the air whistling in her hair.

“Not yet…stay a little longer,” she tightens her hold on his fingers.

He stays until he feels her heartbeat slow against his hand on her chest. With one final kiss he pulls himself gingerly out of her. They both wince at the loss of warmth.

“I’m sorry. I know we agreed not to do that,” he apologizes cleaning her.

She rolls over scooting to the edge of the bed and wraps her arms around his waist. Ashton kisses her hair.

“I’m not sorry. It’s harder to let go now,” she sniffs.

“I know.”

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[1rintooru]

Same Old Explosive Love

Pairing: post-timeskip Semi Eita x fem!reader

Themes: angst and some fluff in the end

Word count:  2273 - one-shot

Warnings: mention of alcohol and breaking up, swearing

Summary: You don’t know anyone that can fight like you and Semi. The rise of his music career has put a strain on your relationship and end up arguing over the same old things. Neither of you can let go of the other and so the cycle continues. 

It always surprised you when you remembered how low Semi’s alcohol tolerance was. To his credit, he didn’t look like someone who couldn’t handle their liqueur. He was a member of an up-and-coming band that was rapidly gaining popularity across the globe. After months of being on the road, Semi had finally returned home where you, him and all of your friends celebrated the release of his latest single. You’d always thought that the lifestyle would have hardened him up, but as you watched him struggle to open the front door of your shared apartment, you knew nothing could be farther from the truth.

“Here, let me help,” you were already reaching for his keys before he pulled his hand away.

“Babe, I’ve got this,” he giggled as tried his luck once more. You heard the satisfactory sound of the key twist in the lock on cue with his words. You both stagger into the apartment and you couldn’t help but laugh. You were convinced that if anyone would have seen you two, they would have thought you were teen lovers caught up in a whirlwind romance. It didn’t matter how ungraceful you both looked or how loud you spoke or even how heavy Semi felt as he leaned on you for support. If it were up to you, this could go on forever.

You kicked off your heels, letting out a small gasp at the immediate relief you felt and watched as Semi clumsily tried to hang his coat. You giggled seeing him visibly deflate and grumble as the coat slid off its hanger and crumpled to the floor. He bent down to pick his coat up but the familiar jingle of his ringtone stopped him. He fished his phone out of his pocket with ease and glanced at the caller-ID before quickly sending you an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve gotta take this. I promise I’ll make this quick; I’ll be back before you even know it.”

He didn’t wait for your response, instead giving you a swift peck on the cheek and disappearing into the bedroom to answer the call. To you, it felt like the room had gotten hotter; In reality you were actually seething. He hadn’t told you who had called him – he didn’t need to. Semi had given most of his contacts a specialized ringtone, so after a while you knew exactly who was on the other line before he would even answer. This particular jingle was one that you were only all too well acquainted with.

It was his manager.

You let out a terse sigh. While he promised he would be quick, you had come to learn the opposite to be true. Of course you were supportive of his career; you loved seeing Semi completely unravel on stage and make his dreams come into fruition. However, you’d slowly come to resent how accessible he needed to be even during his time off, whether it was for his bandmates, his producers, the fans or especially his manager.

You snuggled yourself onto the couch, engulfing yourself in a blanket. You were tired but too angry to sleep. Hearing Semi occasionally exclaim excitedly from the other room only cemented what you already believed. Even if their manager wasn’t around physically, he had still begun to feel like a third-party in your relationship. You were convinced that Semi mentioned their manager more than he even said your name.

This was also the core reason why you and Semi would fight. The couple of weeks you did spend together always came and went in the blink of an eye. It didn’t compensate for the months of separation, missed calls due to time zones or bad connection. It didn’t make up for all the nasty things you read online, whether from journalists or his own fans. Sometimes it felt like it was his world and you were just living in it.  On the surface you and Semi had an idyllic relationship that most people coveted, little did anyone know that with you, Semi had finally met his match. The screaming matches you had, were fiery and explosive – you both shared a prideful stubbornness that only worked as gasoline to an already massive flame. Thankfully the fights were infrequent and would end as quickly as they started; neither Semi nor you held onto a grudge and you’d both quickly return to your gentle and chipper selves.

“Oh, you’re in here.” Semi’s gentle voice tore you out of your thoughts. You were so busy brooding that you hadn't noticed him leaning on the doorframe of the living room. His hair was more disheveled than usual, a lazy smile replaced his usual scowl and his cheeks were still flushed pink from the shots earlier. He’d even changed into a pair of comfier clothes. He stared at you intently with relaxed eyes before finally continuing, “Do you want to watch a movie or…” he paused briefly, “We can do something else.” There was a teasing lilt in his voice.

“No, not anymore,” you huffed. Your words were cutting and you were glad – you wanted them to be. Semi raised an eyebrow, his features quickly tensed up as concern replaced his formerly relaxed expression.

“Did I say something wrong?”

“No Semi you didn’t do anything. I’m fine, really,” you patronized, freeing yourself from the blanket with an aggressive yank. A little too aggressive.  

The jig was up.

“You’re clearly not.”

He already started to sound irritated – he hated to play these guessing games with you. You jumped off the couch, stopping abruptly in front of him as you held your phone up to his face, completely ignoring his accusation.

“What’s the time, Semi?”

His eyes flickered to the screen, then locked onto yours again. The grooves between his furrowed brows just seemed to get deeper and deeper.

“4:02”

You hummed agreeingly, turning around and flicking the television on with the remote. It was petulant, you knew that, but you felt like pressing every one of Semi’s buttons. Usually, infomercials would play at this hour – it didn’t matter though, anything was better than seeing him glare holes through you.

“Y/N.”

It wasn’t infomercials that were playing, instead the clear voice of the weather lady sounded through the room as she delivered the weather report for the following day.

“Y/N!”

You continued to ignore him, dialing the audio up until the bass made the walls tremor.

“Dammit Y/N, we have neighbors!”

He snatched the remote from your hands and quickly shut the TV off. The two of you now stood face to face. The light buzz you felt from earlier was completely gone and you could tell that Semi had sobered up as well. He was trying his hardest to stay composed; you could tell by how he was breathing – slow and deliberate.

“What is going on? You were fine just earlier.”

His face softened slightly, almost as if to plead with you. You hesitated for a moment before finally relenting. You didn’t even try to conceal the bitterness that was wrapped around every single word you spoke.

“Hmm, I don’t know Semi, maybe ask your manager since you spend so much time with him.”  

His eyes widened for a brief moment, shocked by the coolness of your tone. “I didn’t think the call would drag on for that long – I can’t just not answer!”

You opened your mouth but Semi quickly cut you off, “Are we really doing this? Are we really going to fight about this again?”

“You answer his calls more than you answer mine!” you snapped back, “maybe we wouldn’t fight about this if you weren’t always working.”

“Oh my god,” he ran his hands through his hair, the clamminess of his palms made tufts of hair stand upright. If the two of you weren’t fighting, you probably would have laughed because of how odd it looked. But seeing him with his jaw clenched tightly and his eyes filled with a seething rage was no laughing matter. He continued, his voice a low growl, “this is my job, Y/N. Actually no, fuck that, it’s my dream. It’s been my dream since I was a kid!”

“I know that,” you hissed, “But you’re the one always complaining about you and the band being overworked. That one time you almost collapsed due to exhaustion, yet as soon as you get time off you start working from home. Make it make sense!”

He smiled at you – a wicked and deceitful smile – as he stepped forward, closing the space between you. You were reminded again of just how tall and imposing Semi could be. “Well then babe, tell me,” his tone was condescending, “what do you expect me to do? Ignore my manager? Ignore our producer? Maybe even block my bandmates from contacting me?”

“That’s not what I said Semi and you know it,” your words came out as pure venom.

Your body relaxed once he took a couple of steps back. But if you had learnt anything from all the other times you’ve fought, it was that that wasn’t necessarily a good sign. It only meant he was going to get louder. You breathed deeply, frantically trying to organize your thoughts. No, you didn’t actually want to fight with him. You loved Semi, after all.

“I wish that you would actually take me into consideration for fucking once, Semi. It’s always about you, but when the hell was it ever about us? I only get a couple of weeks to spend with you and you’d rather spend it with anyone but me.”

“Well maybe if you stopped bitching all the time, I would actually want to spend time with you.”

“You treat me like I’m an afterthought!” You screamed. At least, that was what you wanted to do. Your voice came out more like a shallow squeak compared to Semi’s wall-shaking shouts. The lump in your throat grew; no matter how much you tried to swallow it down, it wouldn’t go away. You realized that the warmth radiating off your face wasn’t from the alcohol, nor was it from the anger; you hadn’t even noticed how your hot tears rolled off your face, staining your cheeks. He shook his head, almost as if to physically shake off your remarks.

“Don’t come with that shit now. Why do you think I work so much? I’m the only one that works around here. I’ve paid for the TV, for the couch – for every single piece of furniture. I pay the bills, I pay your bills and I paid for this goddamn apartment,” he jerkily motioned to the space around him as he shouted this, making you flinch. His whole body had started to shake in anger.

“Did you already forget who paid for your university tuition fees?” He sneered. “Without me, you’d be nothing and you know it. So don’t fucking tell me to work less when it’s your life on the line too!”

“Well, maybe I should leave since I’m such an inconvenience to you!”

There was a pause. The tension in the air was suffocating as your words seemed to echo through the room. Semi cleared his throat, cutting through the deafening silence.

“Then leave. Just don’t come back.”

“You’re the worst,” is all you managed to utter as you quickly brushed passed him, avoiding his death glare as you escaped into the solace of your bedroom. You crumbled onto the floor once you heard the door slam, desperately stifling your cries into the fabric of your shirt.

He left.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You weren’t entirely sure how much time had passed once your eyes fluttered open. Based on the bright light that was cascading in from the window, you could only assume it was midday. The confusion you felt when you saw yourself on the floor quickly dissipated as you felt the pain in your throat and the swollenness of your eyes.  Your chest ached just thinking about what happened hours earlier.

You gingerly got up off the ground and opened the door and paused. You could faintly hear the sound of a guitar. You recognized the song, making your heart race and you instinctively followed the sound of the music, it finally leading you to a separate room. You didn’t even think twice before opening the door and what you saw inside made your heart leap.

His hair was still disheveled and much like you, he was wearing the same clothes from before. His face was relaxed, his eyebrows furrowed just slightly as he focused on hitting the notes and his mouth had dropped into a small ‘o’. There was something incredibly enamoring about seeing him like this and it was a stark contrast to the Semi you’d experienced earlier. You liked this side of him more.

His eyes darted to yours and the corners of his mouth twitched upwards upon realizing it was you. He nodded at the empty space next to him, inviting you to sit down and you happily complied. The song you recognized was one that Semi had written for you – a confession of his love essentially. He knew, even back then, how straining his job was on the relationship and he wanted to give you something that would remind you he was always there. The words that he failed to find to describe how he felt got poured into his music. He never apologized to you for all the things he said and as you listened to him hum alongside the melody that sounded from the guitar, you knew he didn’t have to, either. You knew exactly what he meant.

You and Semi were going to be ok.

[witcher-and-his-bard-archive]

For six months the Lady Elena has been the sole recipient of Jaskier's affections. It started as a distraction - they met at a party he attended with both Geralt and Yennefer - something to keep his mind off the fact that Geralt's heart, rough and closed-off as it is, was claimed by someone else. But Elena was bright and funny and she lavished praise on Jaskier and he was easily drawn in.

They've been sort of on-and-off since Jaskier and Geralt left Vattweir, but whenever they separate, Jaskier finds himself back beyond the mountains. And when they don't, Jaskier sings of her regularly, earning little praise and much grumbling from Geralt, but he doesn't care. For the first time since they met, Jaskier's attention isn't focused solely on Geralt and he thinks maybe if ever was to settle down and stay somewhere, it might be with Elena.

He sings of love and romance and tells Geralt he'll never love like this again - getting only grunts and hmms in response. But he is happy and more than that, he's happy that for once something has pulled him out of the slump he didn't realize he was in. His songs are cheery once more, not impeded by his unrequited feelings for Geralt. Not that those feelings aren’t still there every time Geralt smiles at him over the fire or presses a little closer on cold nights, but it doesn't hurt so much anymore.

But like most happiness in Jaskier's life, it doesn't last long.

He's been invited to sing at a banquet in Vattweir and since Geralt is with him at the time, he considers it a bonus that he finally gets to introduce them. Not that Geralt cares very much, but Jaskier does.

But things don't go quite as planned; as soon as Jaskier walks into the hall, he spots Elena and she's not alone. She's sat delicately in the lap of some nobleman Jaskier doesn't recognize and at first, he doesn't think much of it. When she leans in for a kiss, he reconsiders.

Jaskier’s heart sinks. They never specified that they wouldn't see other people, but he hasn't and he had hoped she hadn't either. Ah,well, he decides, simply a bump in the road - at least Geralt isn't with him to see the shock on his face. He can't imagine how he would react after hours of Jaskier going on about her being the one.

So he keeps this small detail to himself. Everything else is going as planned and he's sure to come out of this night with a heavy purse if nothing else. But Elena doesn't even acknowledge his presence - a difficult feat considering he's the main source of entertainment for the evening - and it doesn't take him long to figure out why. After his first set, there's an intermission and he seeks out Geralt, slipping in next to him at the table.

There's a toast. A speech. An engagement announcement - and engagement announcement for the Lady Elena and some noble or other that Jaskier’s never heard of. Well, he thinks, that would explain things.

He spends the remainder of the night wondering if he just over thought their relationship. Obviously, if she's now engaged to someone else and acting like he doesn't exist. Geralt asks after her, but Jaskier lies, tells him she didn't show up and he'll just have to wait to meet her later. Jaskier is used to heartbreak and for now, at least, he’d rather suffer this one alone.

Without their impending introduction, Geralt insists they leave early and for once, Jaskier agrees.

He never tells Geralt. Partially because he's embarrassed, but mostly because he knows Geralt will say something stupid like you'll find someone new in a couple of days. But Elena was special. He falls in love often and without intending to, but there are people he's found who strike a different sort of chord with him - Elena was one of them. Geralt is another. And maybe he won't find someone new because it's been over a decade that he's been searching for something to fill the Geralt-shaped hole in his heart and now he's lost that, too.

Now he's back to the beginning; in love with his best friend and unable to share that love because Geralt is an unfeeling mutant.

But he tries to keep up the charade for a little while. He still talks about Elana on occasion and when the longing becomes too much, he pulls himself from Geralt's side under the guise of visiting her. Mostly, he turns to the closest tavern and drinks unless someone will pay him to sing. It's not hard pretending still to be in love, the difficult part is hoping Geralt doesn't realize it's all a sham and all the lovely things Jaskier is saying are actually just about him.

But both the stories and the pretend visits start to dwindle over time and his relationship with Geralt slowly returns to what it had been prior to meeting her.

Only Geralt notices because of course he does and Jaskier is forced to lie every time he asks about her. And he asks more about her and Jaskier suspects he's trying to trip him up. But he feels better when Geralt sleeps closer at night or when he lets Jaskier sing them both to sleep on nights that are otherwise too quiet.

It takes five months for him to find out the truth and his response isn't anything Jaskier would have expected. They're outside of Oxenfurt, as far away from Elena and her new husband as Jaskier could hope to be. And yet, they're here, sitting at the edge of the river where Jaskier was hoping to enjoy the rest of his afternoon alone. Geralt is off killing some plant thing that's been killing people along the road and Jaskier had planned to sit and drink wine by the river, but he can't very well do that now.

So he returns to camp and sits and plays for Roach instead, singing songs of heartbreak and betrayal. She presses her nose to his head, ruffling his hair with heavy breaths and Jaskier smiles up at her.

"At least I've got you," he says and just as he does there's a loud crack from behind. He turns to see Geralt with what looks - maybe - like the head of some giant mutated flower over his shoulder. Or maybe a snake, he's not quite sure.

Geralt drops it on the ground and crosses over to sit on the log across from Jaskier, carefully removing his armour.

"What happened to songwriting by the river?"

"Ah, well, the river was already... occupied."

"That's never stopped you before."

"Yes but-" well, it's been five months, maybe he should just be frank with him "-you see Elena was down by the river with her new... husband." Geralt's head lifts at that, his face worryingly neutral as he meets Jaskier's eyes.

"Husband?"

"Er, well... yes. It seems she was finished with me only she never bothered to tell me that." Jaskier has been avoiding looking at Geralt, afraid to see the betrayal in his eyes for lying to him for so long, but when it does it's not betrayal he sees burning there. It's anger.

"I'm sorry," he starts, "I meant to tell you, but I just-"

"Why would she do that?" Oh.

"I suspect she didn't care all that much."

Geralt's eyes narrow and Jaskier isn't quite sure what to make of that. He can feel the anger coming off of him, but it isn't directed at him and he's not quite sure what to do with that. People don't get angry on his behalf, they get angry at him.

Jaskier tries to calm him down, but Geralt is fuming and Jaskier's never seen him this angry before and for the first time in their friendship, he's almost a little afraid of him. But Geralt would never hurt him and the anger is probably more to do with lingering elixirs from the hunt, so when Geralt gets up and stomps around the camp, Jakier lets him. And then, when his pacing and irritability starts to wear thin, Jaskier sits him down and promises that it isn't all that bad, not really, and he rubs his shoulders and runs patient fingers through his hair. And Geralt relaxes.

But he's different after that. Not in big ways, but he makes a point of keeping himself between Jaskier and anything that could hurt him. He sleeps closer when they camp in the open air, practically right on top of him - not that Jaskier is complaining - and he's defensive in a way Jaskier hasn't seen him before.

Jaskier is used to hecklers - no one can please everyone - but Geralt has taken to shutting them down with a single look, glowering at them from his seat until they're silent. Some leave, some are braver and just return to their drink, but none speak up again. Jaskier revels in this newfound attention and struggles not to find ways in which to provoke it.

It all comes to a head one night when they've stopped to eat and Jaskier is singing. He's distracted and doesn't notice at first when the couple walks in, but they sit down right next to him and it becomes hard not to notice. Elena is as beautiful as always, but her husband - Jaskier assumes that who he is, but he barely recalls the man from the banquet that night - has a sneer plastered on his face. Perhaps he knows who Jaskier is, though Elena doesn't show any sign of it.

Fine, he thinks, let her be like that. The next song he plays is his most romantic ballad, one very thinly disguised as having been written about a princess when in reality, it was written about Geralt.

As soon as he finishes, he picks his lute case up and crosses to sit back with Geralt. He knows they have to leave now, which is a shame since he never even finished his drink earlier, but he doesn't want to start something in the middle of the tavern. They were hoping to find a room for the night and Jaskier doesn't want to spend another night in a row on rocky, uneven ground.

"Shall we go?" he asks and Geralt casts a look between him and his unfinished drink. He doesn't respond before a loud, overly enthusiastic laugh fills the air. Geralt looks up with a scowl. Jaskier sighs.

He doesn’t know how he recognizes Elena, but there's an instant change in his demeanour. He goes rigid, staring directly at the corner of the room where she and her husband are seated and Jaskier can feel the rage radiating off of him.

"Geralt," he whispers, "let's just go, it's not that big a deal anyway-"

"She hurt you," he seethes and through the well of emotions swelling in his chest, Jaskier decides not to point out that Geralt has also hurt him in the past. It distracts him long enough that he doesn't realize Geralt is standing until he's nearly pushed out of the way.

He knows Geralt wouldn’t hurt them, especially for something so trivial, but he's so desperately trying to keep the peace. And if he's honest, he'd rather just forget about the whole Elena thing altogether. He thinks quickly, pressing himself up against Geralt's chest and it works, for a moment at least. Geralt looks down at him and something in his expression makes Jaskier's heart beat a little quicker and this is very much not the time for that.

But then Geralt moves to brush past and Jaskier's mind goes blank. He's been in danger - actual life threatening danger - before and Geralt has never been this defensive, protective, of him. So Jaskier acts without thinking. Working off the very slimmest chance that his suspicions could be correct, he pulls Geralt back to him and kisses him.

He stuns even himself and for a split second he's afraid Geralt might be upset with him, but Geralt drops back into his seat with a thud, pulling Jaskier into his lap. He takes Jaskier's face in his hands and kisses him fiercely.

Geralt kisses like a man who's been denied for years and all Jaskier can do is let himself be led. Geralt brings him close so their chests are pressed together and Jaskier can hear the way his heart thuds in his chest. It's highly unusual and if he wasn't being kissed stupid right now, he might be worried about it.

As reality settles around him, Jaskier slides his hands up Geralt's arms reverently, easing the rage and adrenaline out of him. And Geralt visibly relaxes under him, sinking back against the wall and relaxing his hold on Jaskier. Geralt loops his arms around Jaskier's lower back, but even calm and quiet, he doesn't let go. He just kisses him softer, more deliberately and Jaskier happily takes everything he's offering. Geralt is never this soft when he's insincere and this is maybe the worst time to talk about it, but he understands that this anger and rage were about more than just defending a friend.

When Geralt's tongue slides against his own, Jaskier lets out a little whine, shifting further into Geralt's lap. For that, he gets drawn closer and Geralt's hands slide up his back. Vaguely, Jaskier is aware that people are watching and regularly, he might worry about what people thought of him, but right now he couldn't care less. Right now Geralt is kissing him and he's solid and real and he feels so good around him.

Geralt pulls him right up against him and his cock, thick and hard in his trousers, presses up under Jaskier's, pulling a soft moan from his lips. As if pulled from a reverie, Geralt breaks the kiss, panting heavily as he looks into Jaskier's eyes. He doesn't say anything, but Jaskier hears the unspoken words and he nods, giving his consent freely.

A rush of adrenaline flows through him as Geralt hoists him up to his feet and presses a hand to his chest, guiding him backward. Jaskier is blind, trusting Geralt not to let him run into anything and he knows they're creating somewhat of a spectacle, but he loves it. Part of him wishes Elena would see him and regret the way things went between them, but right now with Geralt's cock pressing into his hip, Jaskier couldn't' be happier about the way things turned out.

Geralt directs him toward the door and Jaskier regrets not having paid for a room when they had the chance. He stumbles out the door and Geralt carries him down the stairs to keep him from tripping. After that, Jaskier finds himself pressed up against every vertical surface between the inn and wherever Geralt is taking him.

The sky is darkening but it's still light enough that anyone walking past could see them, but Geralt finds a small patch of trees right on the edge of town and apparently it's just what he's looking for.

Geralt sets his things down, but keeps Jaskier in his arms, sitting himself down in turn. As soon as Jaskier can touch the ground again, it becomes a race to get each other out of their clothes, grabbing and pulling until Geralt finally stops him, kisses him and tugs his shirt up over his head while he's distracted. Jaskier huffs at him, but he manages to get a hand fisted in his shirt and kisses back, temporarily distracted from his mission of undressing him.

Geralt moves under him, around him and Jaskier just hums and goes along with it, unbuttoning as many of Geralt's buttons as he can reach before shoving the shirt up over his head. He doesn't even mind when Geralt gets him out of his trousers and the Witcher is still mostly dressed. He doesn't mind because Geralt holds him close and kisses him like he doesn't think he'll get another chance. Jaskier continually proves that he will.

He kisses him hard, touches his face, rocks his hips against him even when the ties of Geralt's trousers are too rough against his swollen cock. He wants to prove to Geralt that this is more than just an attempt to distract him. And when Geralt pauses, just briefly to pull back and look at him, Jaskier thinks he knows.

Geralt reaches down, pushing Jaskier back and quickly unlacing the ties of his trousers. He shoves them down just low enough to expose his cock and hauls Jaskier back up over him, shifting under him so his cock rests against Jaskier's ass. He's quick and efficient, if not impatient and Jaskier shuts his eyes for a moment as Geralt's touch overwhelms him. He rolls his hips again, pushing back against Geralt's cock and grinding against him.

Geralt leans to one side, keeping a hand on Jaskier's hip to hold him steady as he turns. Jaskier leans back over him and Geralt kisses him as he rummages through his belongings. When he finds what he's looking for - a small half-empty bottle of oil - he pushes Jaskier back upright. His grip on Jaskier doesn't loosen, but he moves his arm up pushing his fingers into the hair at the back of his neck. His free hand moves, popping the cork on the oil and Jaskier groans in anticipation, rutting shamelessly against Geralt's stomach.

When Geralt's slick fingers press against him, Jaskier drops his chin against his chest, breathing Geralt's name into his night. When he slips into him, Jaskier's eyes flutter shut and he braces himself on Geralt's chest, looking down at him. Geralt shifts under him, readjusting himself and when he presses his cock against him, he meets Jaskier's eyes.

Everything slows to a stop as Geralt sinks into him and for a second Jaskier thinks it's going to end. Geralt was caught up in the moment and sometimes sex is just sex, but then Geralt smiles at him, slides a hand into his hair and pulls him into a firm kiss. Jaskier's eyes drop shut and he winds his arms around Gealt's neck and presses himself back onto his cock as Geralt wraps him in his arms again, pulling him close.

Jaskier's used to the finer things in life; silk sheets, warm beds, but out here in the forest in Geralt's lap he's never felt so loved. He doesn't want to say anything to spoil the moment, but the words are there, bubbling up in his chest and no amount of convincing or persuasion is going to stop him from feeling them. He presses his face into Geralt's neck, breathing the words into his skin instead.

When Jaskier comes, he stifles his moans into Geralt's skin as he rolls his hips against Geralt's slick stomach. Geralt follows a moment later, catching Jaskier's lips in a rough kiss as he continues thrusting into him.

When he stills, Jaskier rolls off of him, exhausted and still reeling. His chest heaves as he remembers how to breathe properly and next to him, Geralt is also panting, eyes shut and lips just barely parted. Jaskier feels like he should say something, but he doesn't know what. That was incredible? Thanks for the fuck? Are we gonna do this again?

"I'm sorry," Geralt breathes and Jaskier turns to look at him. That didn't even make it to the list of possibilities.

"What?" he asks, wondering if he's actually been fucked stupid or if there's something he's missing.

"I was angry, I got wrapped up in it."

"What were you angry about?"

"Elena-" Oh "- that she could hurt you like that and just... go on with her life. She had you and she just... found someone new."

"Oh," he says out loud.

"Why? Do you-"

Jaskier feels the word regret, unspoken and lingering between them and he shakes his head, turning to face Geralt. "No. I'll admit it was unexpected, but don't be sorry. And don't be angry on my behalf."

"Why shouldn't I?" Geralt growls, leaning up over him. Jaskier smiles, reaching up to brush his fingers along Geralt's cheekbones.

"I don't need them. I don't care anymore." He pauses, pulling Geralt's face low enough to kiss him again. "Although, if you're going to get all protective like this every time, I might-"

"Don't even think about it." Jaskier grins, looping his arms around Geralt's neck and pressing his fingers into his hair.

"Okay."

They fall into a comfortable silence, just the sounds of their breath mingling in the evening air, then Geralt’s voice, just above a whisper. “Are you alright?”

“I’m not a child,” Jaskier huffs, amused. “I’ve has sex in the woods before, although I do generally prefer-”

“I mean about Elena.”

“I think that’s the kind of thing you’re supposed to ask before you fuck me,” Jaskier quips.

“Hmm.”

“I’m fine. It’s been months, I’ve had time to think about things.”

“And?”

“And I think if things had worked out between us, I would have missed you too much to stay with her.”

“I thought you loved her more than anyone.”

“Well,” Jaskier smiles, turning to brush his fingers through Geralt’s hair, “maybe not more than everyone.”

[seoulnotes]

An Endless Summer — jjk

S Y N O P S I S | Jeon Jungkook decided to road trip across Europe—with the money his father had sent him overseas with so he could fix his act. Then maybe, might have picked up a lost and penniless girl at a gas station in London and proceeded to road trip with her across Europe cause why the heck not?

P A I R I N G | Jeon Jungkook, reader (y/n)

G E N R E | fluff, some angst (minuscule), romance, inexplicit ~smut~ (smut nonetheless, you’ve been warned) — road trip au ; NC-17

W A R N I N G S | mild cursing

W O R D C O U N T | 19.7k (aka, the longest one ever)

Seoul, South Korea

Jeon Jungkook would've played the perfect part for a drama. He would've set a flawless example of a rich, young heir gone wild if it hadn’t been such a negative title.

Jungkook was the type of man to live life by the second and enjoy every last drop of it. There were no such things as planning ahead for him, not even a week ahead. He partied till he saw the sun barely peeking over the horizon, drank as much alcohol his system could handle, at least before blacking out, and threw money around like it was pocket change. Hell, a couple hundred thousand won to him was pocket change.

Sure, he had his few flings here and there, but it was never too deep. Who would want to be tied down at such a young age?

And oh boy, did the media love to eat this all up before spitting it back out for the rest of the world to see in the worst form possible. The headlines would’ve been enough to give his parents a headache, not to mention nearly stopping his father’s heart every time he saw a new “scandal” involving his son.

Heir Jeon Jungkook with a mysterious woman? –He had been offering to buy her a drink. In fact, she had even rejected his offer for the drink that night. The photo was caught just as he slid the drink to her.

Jeon Jungkook, heir to Jeon Empire, in a bar fight?! –Okay, maybe a few punches were thrown. ‘But the asshole had it coming the moment he threw that insult at me,’ was what Jungkook explained it to his father as. That prompted a cut to one of his credit cards.

You'd think after that, Jungkook would take things down a couple notches. In fact, it was the complete opposite when he decided to take it up a few notches.

The list could’ve gone on with plenty more articles. Sure, he messed around a lot, but he wasn’t as bad as the media portrayed him as. It was clearly exaggerated. Yet, the lifestyle he lived wasn't ideal, at least not the one his father wanted him living in the public eye.

Jungkook liked to call it: simply living it up before he gets tied down to the company.

On the other hand, his father liked to call it: he’s completely out of his mind and needs to fix his act immediately.

And that is exactly why Jungkook is now sitting on the top floor CEO office of the main building of Jeon Empires with his father pacing before him while he, himself, was sitting with a foot casually resting over his knee as he leaned back into the leather seat.

“Jeon Jungkook, when are you going to get your act together?” Another exasperated sigh as the man’s hand went to his temples as if a quick massage would relieve his headache.

The question had Jungkook bringing up a hand to brush his hair back in annoyance. He rolled his eyes, surely his father wouldn’t catch it, or he would be sitting in deeper shit than he was now. Although this retort wasn't any better: “I haven’t done anything! The media blows everything out of proportion!”

The disrespectful tone laced in his tone had his father rubbing a hand down his face with another sigh. Jungkook had pushed his luck too far. “Get your act together. Go home, pack your bags, you’re going overseas to finish the summer and university before returning as a mature young man.”

The words caused Jungkook to perk up in his chair. “I am mature,” he retorted.

Personal grave dug? Check.

“You are not. You are acting like a boy, a child,” his father reached towards the desk behind him and picked up the pile of paper sitting on it. In one swift movement, the pile was dumped on the coffee table in front of Jungkook, spreading out messily for him to see the titles in all their glory.

Those damn articles.

“You are dismissed,” his father’s back was turned to him and all Jungkook could do was stand up, bow promptly, and leave the room. “Your mother will see to it you are packed and ready to leave in two days. I will not be there for your departure.”

It took all Jungkook had in him to not slam the door on the way out. The rage seeping through him almost had him blow a red light on the way home. He had barely managed to stop behind the line for pedestrians leaving a screeching sound in its wake. A sigh left his lips before he hit the wheel with his enclosed fist.

“What the fuck.”

–

And here he was, two days later, standing in the midst of a crowded airport as people buzzed around to make it to their flight while Jungkook wanted to do nothing more than walk as slowly as possible. Like hell, he didn’t even want to board his flight.

“Jungkook-ah,” his mother pulled him into a tight hug before running her hand in circles on his back. “I'll try to talk to your father and ask him to let you come home early.” She gave him a soft smile. She was always by his side to fill the void his father left behind. Though even at times, she scolded him for his reckless behavior, she saw the youth bloom in her son. He wanted to live it, not spend it being tied down to the title of “heir”. He was only twenty-two at the end of the day. “Just try to be a bit more responsible, hm? It's not always best to act irrationally.”

He knew what she had meant. She wanted him to be more mature; to think about the image of his family and company before taking any damaging actions.

The request she tagged on didn’t sit well with Jungkook, but he knew better. This farewell meant it would be a while before he would see his mother again. He nodded, complying with her request. “I'll try.”

“Goodbye, Jungkook-ah,” she patted his back once more before pulling away.

It was a bittersweet goodbye. He walked through those gates not knowing when he would step foot in Korea again. He turned to wave goodbye at his mother before stepping passed to security.

–

“I'm sorry sir, you can't be here.” The woman politely refused as she handed him back his ticket.

This entire trip wasn't going to be well for him. Security was the worst, of course. Now he was being refused into the first-class lounge. “Why not?” The irritation was clear in his voice as he gripped the ticket in hand.

“Sir, your ticket isn’t for first class.” Although she, herself, had slightly questioned the class he was taking judging by the attire the young man had worn. The Rolex watch that peeked through the folded sleeve of his shirt, a white dress shirt, with the first few buttons undone casually, the duffle bag he carried with the Saint Laurent brand name stitched across the leather in their signature ‘YSL’; why was he sitting in economy?

When checking his plane ticket once again, his eyes nearly bulged from their sockets and his jaw dropped wide open.

Economy class. The words were laid on the ticket in clear print. He had known his father to cruelly force him to take an airplane instead of one of the jets they owned, but he had at least expected first class.

It took all the self-control he could muster to not rip up the plane ticket and demand his father for a new one, one for first class.

“Excuse me, one second,” he gave the woman a brief and forced smile, one that meant he was trying his best to remain a decent composed human. He turned around quickly, reaching in his pocket to grab his phone. It was the first number on speed dial.

“Hello, this is Mr. Jeon speaking,” a casual voice answered. If Jungkook wasn't in such a dire situation, he would've noticed his father had switched phones again, and forgot to put his own son as a contact.

“Father, why (the fuck) am I flying in economy?” Jungkook seethed into the phone. He had considered adding the colorful language in the question but made the wise decision not to.

“Why would you need first class?” There was a certain tone behind the man’s opposition; his voice had a certain questionable edge. He was pushing Jungkook on edge as a threat; a threat to keep him in check because if he wasn't, things like this could be regular for him.

“Get me a first-class ticket. I won't be flying in economy,” the last part was seethed in a whisper as he clutched onto the phone.

“Goodbye Jungkook and enjoy your flight,” and with that, his father ended the call. He just ended the first battle and held the flag of victory while Jungkook was forced into a retreat.

His phone rang with a message:

[12:45 PM] Father: You will be taking economy class to the states and making sure it is that flight. If you do not leave on that flight, I will cut all your cards.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at the message almost sure his father wouldn't do that to him. Surely, the next message was enough to end his rebellious thoughts.

His phone rang:

[12:46 PM] Father: Do not doubt me. I will cut them this minute if needed.

Jungkook almost chucked his phone, almost. It only remained in his tight grasp. The phone had a bigger chance of breaking from the pressure of his grip rather than from him throwing it. He shoved his phone in his pocket as he not-so-happily checked the ticket again and made his way to his actual gate, the economy class gate.

For about twelve hours in his flight to London for a layover, Jungkook pitied himself the most on the entire planet. He sat, stuffed in that tiny uncomfortable seat of economy, with whatever asshole wouldn’t stop stretching their legs to hit his seat and an old lady who swore she needed extra arm space so she could read her newspaper, for twelve-fucking-hours.

On the bright side, his father was decent enough to book him a window seat.

The moment Jungkook stepped off the plane, he ran to the nearest ATM to check his credit cards. A sigh of relief passed his lips to realize they were left untouched as his father had promised.

As his mind drifted to the limit on his cards, a plan began forming and slowly, but surely, he found himself at one of those currency exchange booths with a slight smirk forming on his lips.

His father wanted to play hard, but Jungkook wasn't going to be so easily contained.

“Can I get in cash the maximum limit for these?” His English lessons had paid off well when the words came fluently from him. The man behind the booth looked confused as Jungkook pulled the four credit cards from their respective pockets in his wallet.

His cards each had a maximum limit of twenty million won. That amounted to eighty million won in cash and about sixty thousand some Euros. The man looked at Jungkook as if he had just grown three heads in front of him before slowly wiping the expression from his face and pointed toward the ATM again.

“I do not think that is possible here. You can withdraw cash from an ATM if needed. It will be in Euros.”

“Thank you!”

That is how Jungkook ended up with as much money as the ATM had for him to withdraw in a stack sitting with the other stack of cash his father gave him for “safety” in his duffle. He managed to withdraw barely one-fifth of a card. With time on his hands, he skipped about the airport and withdrew the rest of the card bit by bit until he had reached barely his maximum. The others he’ll manage somehow, but it had to be fast before his father found out.

“Can I exchange this?” He was back at the currency exchange booth with the cash his father had given him. The man’s expression was horrified as the stack was dumped on the counter. It remained the same as he counted the Euros in exchange for the cash and handed them over to Jungkook. “Perfect. Thank you,” he placed the money in his duffle. His luggage was sitting in baggage claim by the time he arrived. As he towed his suitcase, he planned his next move.

The plan was simple.

Transfer as much money as he could from his cards to Euros for back up.

Use the cards until his father finds out he isn't in the states.

The backup money will be used; £60,000 some would be enough.

Rent a car, a nice one, and road trip in Europe. (Thank god the border crossings would be no big deal.)

Enjoy his time for the rest of the summer before returning to Korea for the consequences.  

Oh, would Mr. Jeon be so delighted to find out his son is running around in Europe instead of being in the states preparing for another year in University.

Turns out renting a car was tougher than he had thought. As he planned to cross borders, a nice car wasn't an option. That was until he waved an extra couple thousand to convince them for a nice Range Rover.

Jungkook hadn't established where he wanted to go so his first night was spent devising the cities he wanted to visit.

He had three months, let's make it worth it.

London, the United Kingdom

Jungkook soaked in all he could of the nice hotel room because he knew sooner or later, his card would be cut. He had known he wanted to explore the city at least for a bit so he left his luggage at the room and drove off into the city.

The weather was nice to greet him with rain the moment he had arrived. His luck also ran perfect when a beeping sound told him that the tank was almost empty. Great, what company rents cars without giving at least half a tank nonetheless an empty tank.

So, his first outing in London was spent at a gas station, in the rain.

That's where you first met him. In front of a gas station. In the rain.

Jungkook had paid for the gas and was stopped short at the entrance of the gas station by the heavy rain. It wasn't this heavy when he was just in his car. He ran inside the station to see if he could buy an umbrella. Just his luck, he also stopped at one of the farther pumps.

He saw you soaked in the front of the shop and held the open umbrella over your head.

“If this is your way of trying to pick me up for the night, it isn't going to work,” the faint familiar accent in your English had his ears perk up.

“I wasn't trying to pick you up for the night,” he responded in Korean. “It's called being nice,” the rest in English.

Your jaw dropped when you heard the familiar language. Suddenly you felt more secure having heard your native tongue. “You're Korean? You speak Korean?”

“No, I do not,” he responded back in Korean, the sarcasm thick in his voice. He was still holding the umbrella over the both of you, although it was barely enough to cover you both. The backpack on you were carrying was soaked as well as your shoulder from the one-person umbrella. “Are you a local?”

“Far from it.”

“Then what are you doing here? It's a long way from home.” He had no idea why he suddenly took interest in sparking up a conversation with a stranger at a gas station.

“I could ask you the same.” You finally lifted your head and took a look at the stranger who was shielding you from the rain.

“Didn’t answer my question.”

You scoffed and kicked at the cement. “I’m not about to explain my whole reason being here to a complete stranger.”

A hand stuck in front of you. “I’m Jungkook. Not a stranger, now am I?” He gave you a humorous smile.

And for some strange unknown reason, you grabbed his hand and shook it with a small smile. Then for an even stranger unknown reason, you said, “I’m y/n and I guess not.”

Jungkook stood staring at you with the same interest in his eyes. He was waiting.

You sighed, “You wouldn’t want to hear my story anyway. It's long and way too overly boring.” You crossed your arms and watched as the rain continued to fall. The sound of rain hitting the concrete filled the air as you both stayed silent.

“Lucky for you, I have nothing but time on my hands and how boring the story is, is up for interpretation of the listener, isn’t it?” His smile was nice and made you suddenly want to trust the complete stranger. Perhaps it was his easy charming appearance and curious doe eyes or the comfort of hearing the language of your home.

So that ended up being the time you spilled your entire life story to a random stranger who was nice enough to hold an umbrella for a good half hour in the rain for you.

You always wanted to travel and thought for a split second, dropping everything and taking all the money you had with you to a foreign country would be the best idea. You'd only realized how dumb your plan was when you were locked up on an airplane for eleven hours headed to Europe. It wasn't your biggest mistake actually. The city was beautiful, breathtaking even. It had filled your wanderlust so amazingly. Unfortunately, some cab drivers weren't the nicest upon hearing your foreign accent and decided upon themselves to scam you of your money, especially the last cab you took.

Now here you were, lost and having close to no money, practically penniless, at a gas station in London.

“I thought it was a good idea, to be honest, but look where it got me.” You sighed, it felt like the millionth sigh that left your lips ever since you’ve arrived at this city. It hadn't even been a few days in the foreign city before you had been scammed of so much money. You couldn't even afford a plane ticket back, not like you had even planned to from the beginning.

“Look, it stopped raining.” Jungkook shook the umbrella in front of you slightly before shutting it.

Great, your story had been so long that the rain had stopped. “Sorry about that,” you felt your cheeks heat slightly. The embarrassment was evident; you'd taken too long to explain your story to a stranger.

“Come with me. You can stay with me at my hotel until we fix this.” It was an offer.

“We? This isn't your problem, don't worry yourself. I wasn’t looking for sympathy when I told you what happened.” You let out a laugh at his statement while shaking your head. The after-rain smell began to seep into the air.

“Come on. Just one night. I won't make any moves, I promise,” he held his hands up and you chuckled slightly.

You felt a mutual trust for an odd reason and nodded. Maybe it was because he spoke Korean that gave you the trust. You fished for reasons to accept his offer and that was the only reasonable one. Besides, you didn’t really have anywhere to go. “Okay.”

He took the small suitcase from you and put it in the trunk.

“You're not going to try and rob me of all my money, right?” He joked as you approached the passenger side of the car.

“Of course, I definitely am,” you didn't know whether your response with a joke was appropriate. Your worries settled when you heard a chuckle from his side of the car as he opened the fuel door of the car.

“Thank you,” you let out quietly. You weren’t sure if he heard as you opened the passenger side and sat down.

“You’re welcome.” It came just as you shut the door.

–

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Jungkook brought his hands up to the space of the room. The view almost had you floored.

“Are you a millionaire or something?” You sped towards the window before pressing your face against it to get a better look at the city below. The traffic bustled below as people filled the streets in search of a fun night. The nightlife of the city was bright and busy. Looking into the distance of the old city, the buildings were lit up among the Thames and above the buildings, stars lived and shined in the night sky.

“Just have some money saved up and decided to splurge on this trip,” he shrugged as he sat on the couch, pulling his arms behind his head. “You can sleep on the bed if you want. I’ll take the couch.”

Jungkook had no idea what compelled him to hide the fact that it wasn’t just some money saved up. He figured it wasn’t important and definitely not a situation where he needed to be giving any elaborate answers. Nevertheless, it didn’t seem like the right thing to do. You had indeed told him your circumstances.

As tempting as the offer sounded, you still questioned, “Are you sure? I mean, it’s your room, not mine. The couch is good enough.”

“Well, if you insist,” he jumped onto the bed before stretching his legs out with a wide smile. The sudden action almost had your jaw drop, but it was already shown by your wide eyes. A chuckle slipped from him before he sat up. “I’m just joking. You look like you actually need to sleep. Take the bed.” The tone in his voice meant he wasn't joking.

You smiled sheepishly before dropping your bag on the floor. “Why are you trusting me? I'm a complete stranger.” You could ask yourself the same question about him.

He shrugged before shooting you another smile. “You seem like someone worth trusting.”

Silence settled in the room and you finally took notice of the stranger that offered kindness and light to your shitty situation. I mean besides the stolen glances you took at his side profile on the drive to the hotel. From that, you concurred he was deadly handsome–deadly. This time you notice his bright smile close resemblance to a bunny and how his eyes also carry the same feeling when he smiled.

Then you realized that you were staring for too long and words fell from your lips quickly to cover the silence. “Thank you again, by the way,” you said, as you took a seat at the edge of the mattress. “I'll leave by tomorrow.”

“No problem and you can stay longer if you need,” another smile. You were sure so many people could fall for his easy and kind personality.

You nodded your head in appreciation. But you weren’t going to stay.

The night went by easily. He ordered room service for both of you making you wonder how much he had exactly saved up to be spending money like this in Euros, especially if they had been exchanged from wons.

You did end up sleeping in the bed like he had told you to because, by the end of the meal, he was ready to lay onto the couch with his phone in hand. You kneeled by the couch and unzipped your suitcase, picking up a t-shirt and shorts.

“I’ll go take a shower?” You felt as if you were asking permission. Well, you kind of were. It was still his hotel room and you were still the one intruding. Your thump was aimed towards the bathroom.

“Okay,” his eyes never left his phone.

You closed the door behind you and took a deep breath. You really had accepted help from a stranger, and you were in his hotel room. You still wondered if you’d taken the best choice because right now, something about this whole situation screamed stupid to you.

The thought never quite left your mind as you drenched yourself in the hot water, working out the knots in your body. You arrived in the main room with a towel on your neck as you worked to dry your hair.

“Night,” Jungkook reached over to turn the light off in the room. Only the lamp on the nightstand remained on.

You laid underneath the sheets with the will to fight the oncoming sleep as much as possible. Sleeping with your hair wet wasn’t a good thing, but it was nearly impossible when your body grew warm underneath the sheets. Fighting the weight on your eyelids became mission impossible when you fell into the arms of sleep.

–

You were awakened by the smell of breakfast and woke up to Jungkook drinking coffee and a bag of McDonald’s breakfast on the coffee table. He promptly reminded you breakfast was the most important meal of the day before shoving the paper bag your way, even when you refused.

You almost choked on a piece of the heavenly hash brown when Jungkook suggested—

“Come with me.” The statement was promptly followed by your coughing.

“I’m sorry, what?” You patted on your chest in an attempt to help the coughing. Jungkook chuckled and handed you a bottle of water.

“Come on the rest of the trip with me,” he shrugged as if it wasn’t a big deal. “You want to travel right? So, come with me.” He took another sip of his coffee casually as if his offer was nothing. Your eyes grew wide.

He did know that you’d just met yesterday right? That even if you had joined him, you were broke and there was no way you could pay for gas, food, nonetheless, half of a hotel room.

“That’s not possible.” You said whilst shaking your head.

“Why not?”

“First, we literally just met and are practically strangers. Second, with what money? Did you forget the part where I said I don’t have any?”

Jungkook smiled in amusement before countering back, “First, I thought we went over this yesterday. We’re not strangers, we know each other’s names. Second, with the money I have. There’s enough for this trip and my plus one, who will be you.” He had stated as-a-matter-of-factly.

Your jaw nearly dropped. He was offering to pay for your dream trip, but you weren’t that type of person. It wasn’t right. “Well, I can’t just leech off of you so no.”

“Consider it a gift.”

“No,” your answer would never change. Not in a million years. You sat back and crossed your arms with a look telling him you wouldn’t change your mind.

“Fine,” the smile washed from his face slightly. “I’m going to be staying here for a few more days while I sort out some stuff so stay with me for these days and then tell me your final answer.” He said it as if there was no option for you to decide.

As it turned out, there was absolutely no room for you to decide. Even when you had remained headstrong on not staying with him and spending his money, you lost in the end. Jungkook stood up, fists in the air with a victorious smile when you silenced yourself. There was never room to win from the beginning.

“Only these couple of days and you can leave and be on your way to wherever you’re going next,” you pointed a finger at him. You didn’t know why you agreed, you just did.

“You tell me your answer when these couple days are over. Now, let’s get going,” he hopped up from his spot on the couch, tucking his phone into his pocket.

“Where?” You stood up quickly and paused as you remembered the clothes you had on.

Jungkook paused and brought a hand up to raise a pair of sunglasses to his head. “The bank. I need to sort out something. Go wash up first,” he gave you a cheeky smile as he glanced at your state.

Honestly, you knew you looked like hell. After sleeping in a nice bed for the first time since you've landed here, your hair was in a knotted mess atop your head.

“I'll be out in ten,” you grabbed the bag of toiletries from your suitcase and headed towards the bathroom.

–

“It took longer than ten minutes. Do you know how long you kept me waiting dying to explore the city?” You heard a hint of humor in his voice. He slipped the sunglasses down the rim of his nose and he stared at you with a funny face and brows raised.

“How long?”

“Eleven minutes. One minute longer than you said,” he pointed an accusatory finger in your direction after tapping his imaginary watch.

“Oh hush,” you gave him a light shove on his shoulder.

His lips split into a grin as he led you from the room, closing the door behind him. “One minute we could be spending doing something exciting!” He shouted behind him.

The hotel lobby was buzzing with people, excited to dive into the city and you two were a part of the madness as Jungkook grabbed your arm and began tugging you towards the door.

He seemed even more excited to enter the city than you. You noticed the huge grin on his face as he raced towards the front door. You stumbled a few steps from his pace. “Someone seems excited,” you commented with a laugh.

The day consisted of Jungkook driving to various banks across the city and a stream of sorrys and ‘I’ll be back in a few, I promise’ coming from him whenever you arrived at a new bank. You couldn’t be upset though because driving across the city meant you could see everything. No, you weren’t exploring, but you were still amazed with wide eyes watching every place you passed by. It was a preview of what was to come when you would actually go out and explore the city.

It did end up taking up the entire day, but as night fell, Jungkook parked his car in an unfamiliar parking lot. The building in front of the parking lot had lights hanging in the front, stringing across the entrance of the restaurant.

“Where are we?” You asked, but Jungkook only got out from his side and approached yours before you’d realized the situation. His hand pulling open the car door.

“My apology for dragging you around the city today: dinner under the stars,” he bowed his head slightly and held his hand out to which you took. “Well, not exactly under the stars, but it’s outdoors so I guess it counts, right?”

You couldn’t help the laugh that fell from your lips as you allowed him to guide you towards the restaurant.

You ended up with a table outside next to the restaurant walls adorned with twinkling lights streamed along the walls.

“A date?” You didn’t know what compelled you to speak exactly what was on your mind without a second thought, but you cursed yourself under your breath the moment you registered what you asked. It was meant to be a joke, but you realized how bad it sounded when it actually left your lips.

“Only if you want it to be,” Jungkook answered smoothly, pulling out a chair, waiting for you to sit.

You took the chair with that dumb smile on your lips because yes, Jungkook had managed to respond to your comment in the best way possible.

As you both began to skim the menu, the waiter appeared asking for what drinks you’d like. You promptly responded with water while Jungkook asked for a Coke.

“Jungkook, I would have been more than excited if we went to some convenient store to get sandwiches. This place is way too expensive.” He already knew you barely had money, yet he decided to bring you to a restaurant where a Coke costs nearly £4.

“I said it was my apology to you. Therefore, I am paying.”

You couldn’t bring yourself to order much more than a soup and salad combo while Jungkook didn’t hold himself back and ordered a 20-ounce steak.

Really, you were fine with what you had. Jungkook, on the other hand, was not and he had a permanent pout on his face when the server returned with your meal.

“I’m going to be paying for the rest of the trip anyway, so get used to it,” he stuck a piece of steak in his mouth. “I don’t want to see another little bowl of that green stuff again,” he added with a feigned face of disgust as he pointed to your plate.

“Who said I was going on this trip with you? Besides, I can’t use your money like this,” you responded quickly, reminded of the backpack he kept with him while going to all the banks.

“It’s an inheritance from...,” he paused, “my grandfather.”

You left it there not wanting to question why he suddenly had the amount of money. You were still holding your ground on not allowing him to pay; you still had some money, you weren’t completely broke.

You couldn’t even fight to try and pay the bill when the meal was over. Jungkook slipped away to the “bathroom” while you waited for him.

“The bathroom, huh?” You noted while you both walked out of the restaurant.

“I did go!” His hands rose in defense. “I just also happened to pass by the waiter on the way back,” his sentence laced with his sly tone as he smiled widely.

Jungkook still jumped in front of you, quick to open the car door and you didn’t know what to do when he continued to be so damn charming.

–

Admittedly, you never had that amount of fun in your entire life as you did during the week you spent with Jungkook in London. You both did the usual touristy things that everyone did visiting the attractions the city had to offer. Those included visiting the infamous Big Ben, Tower Bridge, and the London Eye.

Yet, out of all the activities the city had to offer to sedate your wanderlust, your favorite was honestly spending late nights chatting at the cafe a block from your hotel that opened late hours with a cup of coffee. Those you did not let Jungkook pay for.

You learned a lot about him in those late-night chats. You learned that he loved to sing and prompted him to sing you a chorus of his favorite song and after constantly bringing it up a few nights in a row, he finally did. He gracefully sang out the chorus of an old favorite and you didn’t know he could become more charming until the first note was sung. You also noticed the way his eyes lit up in a way they never did before while he wasn’t singing as if singing lit up a spark inside him.

You learned he was a big gamer. That when he wasn’t out and about, he could be tied down to his dual-screened desktop, gaming hours on end.

On the same night, Jungkook learned that you sucked at gaming to which he playfully frowned at you. You told him your aim sucked and when you teamed with your other friends, they would always have to carry your ass through the round while you missed every shot you fired at the enemy. That elicited a howling laugh from him and he claimed he had to make you better in the future.

You learned that he became independent at a young age with his father tied to his work. He didn’t easily share his life with others because of the detachment he had. He commented shortly, you were the first person to which he had told that side of him to. He didn’t discuss more than that and you knew not to ask about more than what you were told.

You told him how you were the oldest and your parents relied on you to help your younger siblings when they focused on working. You told him about how you learned to cook and do chores at a young age so you could take better care of your siblings; how you wrote out almost every check from your parents’ accounts to pay for the bills. You told him briefly that when you became legal and decided to travel with money you had saved, your parents disapproved of your plans and no one saw you off at the airport.

Tonight would be his last night in this city before traveling to another. You still didn’t know what you would do after.

“My offer still stands.” He mentioned this every night.

Your brows crinkled in confusion. “I can’t just use you like that and I still can’t comprehend why you would offer something like that to me.”

“y/n, I promise you money is not an issue to me. You aren’t using me if I offer it openly, right?” The corner of his lips tugged into a small smile.

You shook your head lightly. “It just doesn’t feel right.”

Regardless of how much you wanted to take this once in a lifetime offer, it really did not feel right. You stared at the coffee mug between your hands.

“How about I professionally hire you to take photos for me on this trip? Come on, I snuck a glance at your wallpaper. If you take photos like that, it’s worth it,” he suggested.

That was a lie. You only had your phone to take photos, photographer my ass.

At that moment, you got that random feeling of why the hell not and you felt something shift inside you as you mumbled a quiet, “Okay.”

Jungkook’s smile grew as he teasingly responded, “Hm?”

“Okay, I’ll go with you, exclusively as your photographer.” He was grinning from ear to ear. “But you’re going to sleep in the bed tonight. I don’t want a sleep-deprived driver tomorrow.”

And that is how you ended up agreeing to travel around Europe with Jungkook.

—

London en route to Amsterdam

You both woke up the next morning having no idea where the hell to go next. After hours of debate, you managed to roughly mark out destination cities to visit in the next eight weeks leaving a week for each to spend at to explore.

Your plan was to head to Amsterdam first.

—

“You know, I don’t even know your last name, but I decided to travel with you for three months,” you threw out randomly. Your eyes were focused on the passing cars outside of the window.

“Jeon,” he answered simply. You turned your attention back to him, his eyes trained on the road ahead of him and you found yourself staring maybe just a little bit with your chin on your hand.

“So Jeon Jungkook,” your fingers tapped your chin as if in thought. “I think I like the sound of your full name better, Jeon Jungkook.”

“Now it wouldn’t be fair for me to tell you mine and you, not yours.” Not a moment went by when he didn’t want to make the situation light-hearted. His eyes flickered to you for a moment and you shifted your sight somewhere else.

“Mr. Jeon, my last name is y/l/n.” You emphasized his name.

“So, Miss y/l/n,” he mocked in the same tone and the blinker in the car turned on as he changed the lane as per the GPS’s directions. The car was silent again except for the low music playing.

Jungkook began to hum to the song, eventually singing softly and you felt at peace listening to his voice and watching as the landscape changed from cement walls to trees. It was just enough for your eyelids to begin to feel heavy.

Amsterdam, the Netherlands

One pit stop for a few hours and a ton of snacks later, you arrived at a hotel in the heart of the city.

“Shit,” he muttered. The swiping of the credit card only popped up a ‘declined’ on the screen. His father had finally caught on after he’d jumped a city over. He slid the card back into the slot in his wallet. “I’ll pay in cash then,” he responded in English, a grim smile painted on his lips.

You only could stand beside him and watch the transaction. The lady behind the hotel counter almost furrowed her eyebrows. It was rare that someone would pay for a hotel room with cash, but surely, Jungkook reached into the backpack of his and pulled out the amount for the room.

You kept your surprise to yourself. No wonder, the receptionist was confused herself as you watched Jungkook hand over nearly fifteen hundred Euros in cash.

In less than half an hour, you two were making your way to the room, keycard in Jungkook’s hand. The front lock beeped as Jungkook opened the door pulling his suitcase behind him, and held the door open for you to pass through as well.

“Thanks,” you gave a small grateful smile as you rolled your suitcase into the room.

“How ‘bout that?” Jungkook grinned, his free hand gesturing to the two full-sized beds in the main space of the room.

“I would have been fine with a pull out sofa or something,” basically, you didn’t have to book a room with two beds. You remembered how Jungkook specifically left the last hotel that claimed all their rooms with two beds had been booked.

Jungkook only waved away your statement. It would be back and forth again if Jungkook responded. He only laid down dramatically on one of the beds, the sunglasses laying on his forehead falling back as he sighed, “So, what should we do?”

You laid your suitcase down next to the bed adjacent to the one he claimed and threw down your backpack and mirrored his actions. Although you didn’t drive, you had to admit that a seven-hour drive with minimal stops was tiring. After all, you had given yourself the self-proclaimed job of GPS assistant, keeping your eyes on the device and road to make sure Jungkook was going the right way.

A brief silence passed.

A rustle sounded from beside you. You turned your head to the now sitting up Jungkook as he glanced at his watch. “It’s pretty late. Wanna grab dinner and call it a night?” His eyes flitted to you.

“Sounds like a plan,” you rose slowly from the bed. From outside the balcony, a streak of lightning flashed across the hues of the sunset. You admitted internally it was something to behold your eyes… that was until the rumbling thunder followed, and the rain began pouring.

Then Jungkook’s phone cried bloody murder warning of the flash flood warning.

“Room service?” He glanced at you sheepishly.

–

The rain did not let up for the rest of the evening and not for the next day as you both realized when you checked the weather app. However, the weather was nothing compared to your thirst to explore the city waiting outside your hotel room.

Unfortunately, the dull scenery forced your plans to be mostly indoors unlike your ideas of exploring the outdoors with all of Amsterdam’s beautiful bridges, canals, and row houses along with them.

After exploring a few museums including the Van Gogh museum, you had both found yourselves at another cafe just as the sun began to set.

“I guess the cafe rituals at night will continue,” Jungkook pulled a chair out for you.

“I guess it does, but to be fair, I wanted to try the to-die-for desserts they have,” you responded.

That’s how with a simple cup of hot tea, you both spent the following two nights with a different Dutch dessert, talking until the moon was high in the sky, and you both felt tired to the point where it became easy to just mumble out a conversation.

You both became stars drunk on the moonlight.

–

You manage to fill nearly a hundred photos on your phone with all your eyes could catch in the week. Yes, they were almost half of the beautiful bridges, canals, and row houses. Even a simple thing such as a ride on the subway caught your eye enough to snap an Instagram worthy photo.

Your last was deemed as a relaxing day, a less touristy day. You both headed to the Albert Cuypmarkt, a popular street market in the city. Your interest was piqued at the numerous amounts and variety of items the market had to offer. In the middle of the street, your eyes fell onto the most wonderful flower stall. The stall itself nearly grew to life with the vibrant rainbow assortment of flowers.

You didn’t even know your own feet had been gravitating towards the stall. You paused to take a photo, and the owner immediately began to offer flowers your way which you had politely refused.

“Pick your favorite ones,” Jungkook spoke beside you.

“I can’t,” you were conjuring a way to refuse his offer.

“Go ahead, my treat.”

You were beginning to dislike the two words, ‘my treat’. You felt guilt every time he offered anything to be his treat because everything basically was.

You shook your head, glancing at the vibrant bundle of various colored tulips. “We’re leaving tomorrow anyway, where would we put them?”

The stall owner stepped towards Jungkook with the various colored tulips and whispered something to him before handing him the tulips. Before you could interfere, Jungkook had handed over money.

“Thank you,” he smiled brightly, hand outstretched to shake the stall owner’s.

“Your girlfriend was looking at them!” The stall owner exclaimed happily, smiling at you.

Before you could correct his statement, Jungkook spoke. “I saw too,” he gave a wink in your direction.

You returned the smile. You were sure he responded that way for a less complicated answer, but in no way, did his response make you feel your heart speed up a few beats. Although, your mind was definitely still trying to figure out how to respond to Jungkook’s insistence to buy you whatever you laid your eyes on next time.

The stall owner continued a small conversation with Jungkook, asking if he was on a vacation and where he was from. Before long, you both had made your way from the stall further down the street.

“Ah, my arms! This is so heavy, can you hold it?” Before you could respond, the bouquet of beautiful tulips were shoved into your arms to admire. You had to admit, the Netherlands tulips were ones like you never seen before; so vibrant and colorful in your eyes.

“I told you we were going to leave. Where am I going to put them?” You couldn’t help the warm feeling in your chest. “Thank you,” your tone changed to a gentle one and you couldn’t help the smile beginning to form on your lips.

“You’re very welcome, miss y/l/n. I am very delighted you like them,” his arm swung around your shoulder, a casual gesture to him.

Although, it felt like something way more different than a casual gesture to you.

“Besides, we can just buy a book or something so you can dry the flowers or something,” he commented, his hand squeezing your shoulder lightly.

You had to shake your head a bit to retain focus on the conversation and not the weird feeling you had in your chest. “Y-yeah sounds like a plan!”

—

Amsterdam en route to Paris

You know what they say. There was never enough of McDonald’s greasy fries for a long road trip. Okay, no one really said that, but it is the truth. They hit home regardless of where in the world you were.

“So bad for you, but so freaking good!” You exclaimed with your mouth full of fries.

Jungkook reached his hand over to the bag of fast food sitting in your lap to grab a few fries of his own.

“I might have to ban you from picking our driving snacks if you decide to buy ten orders of McDonald’s french fries again,” Jungkook chuckled before tossing the fries into his mouth.

“I think I picked pretty dang good snacks,” you proclaimed, offering another fry to Jungkook.

He leaned over a bit with his mouth open. “Gotta keep both hands on the wheel,” he teased. His fingers danced on the wheel for emphasis.

You reluctantly fed him the fry. It didn’t cross your mind until after you both finished off two more containers of fries that it didn’t feel strange teasingly feeding him fries, but it sounded off to you.

“My hands are tired, you might have to risk a bit of safety to eat some fries if you want,” you placed a container of fries into the cup holder.

You swore that his bottom lip jutted out in the smallest bit of pout before he replied jokingly that you were being unfair and feeding him less so you could eat more of it.

Paris, France

The usual routine of Jungkook asking to book a room for a week after you both spent time arguing at a parking lot about which hotel to pick. You wanted the cheaper one whilst Jungkook insisted he needed a balcony and a view of the Eiffel Tower. He won.

You couldn’t wait, excitement buzzing through your veins, and barely managed to throw your suitcases into the room before your lust to explore took over.

And after a whole day of exploring, you were at another cafe as the sun set, ready to try all the desserts France had to offer.

–

“Don’t you just love it?” You brought your hands up around you and spun with a smile. “The atmosphere, the scenery, everything,” your smile grew in delight.

It would be an utter lie for Jungkook to not include you as part of the beautiful atmosphere around him. Your smile was utterly beautiful and he knew in his trip to Paris, he’d remember your face from every single moment. It was a genuine one; one that was rare for him to see in his life where everyone put on a show for their own gain.

You didn’t know about his wealth, his life, his future inheritances; maybe that’s why he never told you to begin with. It let him be different; he could be someone else without the price tag he seemingly wore every day while he was back home.

“Yeah, it’s beautiful,” and Jungkook had a small smile tugged on to his lips as he shoved his hands into his pocket and followed you. Even though there were crowds of tourists everywhere as you entered a bridge crossing over the Seine, it was still breathtaking.

You moved your way amongst the throng of people and made your way to the railing. “Take a picture for me!” You raised your hands into the air. “And you have to get the tower in the background!”

When a minute passed of you holding the pose, you turned around and grabbed the phone from his hand. A frown settled on your features. “Hey, why are these selfies of you?”

“I think I make quite the picture,” he joked. “Here, scroll further up.”

He had taken a few of you in the pose and you settled with a smile. “You’re forgiven… I guess.”

“You guess? Oh, miss y/l/n, what will I ever do without your forgiveness?” Jungkook had the same joking smile on his face, but when he stared off, you noticed the smile drained from his face.

“What’s wrong?” You reached a hand up to his arm, eyes searching the blank expression on his face. He shook out of the shock and his hand wrapped around yours.

“We’ve got to go,” he stated quickly before his hand had a firm grasp around yours, tugging you across the bridge.

“Wait, where?” You managed to stay close to him as he sped up from a speed walk to a run. That’s when you heard the chaos behind you.

“He’s right there!” A man shouted from behind you, not far back.

“Jungkook, where–,” he pulled you around a corner down a narrow alleyway. You stumbled a bit at the sudden turn. “Where are we going?” You shouted the question. You faintly heard footsteps catching up behind you.

“Why are we even running?” His grip only tightened as he continued running.

The footsteps became fainter and Jungkook turned one more corner before laying flat against the wall.

“Jungk–,” he stopped you, tugging you with him and a hand on your mouth as he shushed you and an arm around your waist. His chest pressed to your back and you craned your head ever so slightly to meet his wide eyes. His pupils were blown wide from the surprise.

At this point, you had no idea whether your heart was beating this fast because you had just ran or because you were pressed so close to Jungkook that you could feel his breathing as his chest rose and fell quickly. In one swift movement, he flipped the both of you, hand still covering your mouth and another hand on your arm.

He applied a small amount of pressure on your arm and his eyes pleaded with you to stay still. He slowly drew his gaze from you to peek over the edge of the building. You noticed his eyes soften from the previous look filled with worry and he drew a long breath before dropping his head in relief. His hand released from your mouth.

His head dropped onto your shoulder and he let out another sigh to which you definitely felt against your skin. You froze.

Within moments, he withdrew his grip from you and slid back.

You tried to push away the blush creeping onto your face and the shock. You willed yourself to forget the sudden moment of closeness and placed your hands on your hips. “What the hell was that? Why were we running? Have you done something?!” Question after question came as you filled your head with the actual situation at hand instead of your stupid heart’s fast pace. You were determined to keep those wandering thoughts away as much as possible.

He pulled at your hand, tugging you along. He wasn’t running anymore, but he was still keeping a steady, fast pace. “Come on, we can’t be here. I’ll explain later.” He tossed his head around to check over his shoulder and continued to do that every couple minutes.

“Will you please tell me what’s going on?” You yanked on his hand in frustration, making him come to a complete stop, and your grip slip from his. “Have you done something?”

A frustrated sigh left his lips and his hand brushed through his hair leaving it disheveled. “It’s complicated.” He was going to eventually tell you everything, but he didn’t know it would be so soon. He didn’t know his father would send men to find him so soon. “Please, can we go back to the hotel first?”

His eyes glanced around you both nervously in every direction possible.

It took you a few seconds to recognize the panic and plead in his eyes before nodding once.

It didn’t even take him a second before he clasped his hand in yours again and began to find his way back to the hotel.

He didn’t let go of your hand the entire way. In fact, his hand seemed only to grip yours tighter as you both weaved through crowds of people and bikers.

You ripped your hand from his grasp the moment you both stepped into the safety of your hotel room. “I followed you back, explain,” your tone was harsh and you couldn’t help your emotions from showing themselves. Your arms crossed over your chest and a permanent frown on your face.

Jungkook sighed and you heard relief, yet some anxiety laced in that sigh. He tugged his hand through his hair, pulling back, and tossed his sunglasses onto the bed.

“Jungkook, what the hell happened back there?” Your voice rose, your hands flying around you as your annoyance rose from him keeping you in the dark.

Another sigh, “Yes, they were looking for me. If they had caught me, I would have been flown back to Korea.”

“Are you a criminal or something?”

“They were my father’s men,” he answered briefly.

“What do you mean?” He was answering your questions in the most terrible way possible. You nearly had the slightest feeling that you had been staying and traveling with some mob boss’s son for nearly three weeks.

“Okay, it’s a long story and I haven’t been the most honest.”

You almost let out a scoff and retorted, ‘no shit Sherlock’, but instead, you replied, “I’ll listen to your story then.” You cautiously took a seat at your claimed bed.

Another sigh before he began to explain exactly how you both, mostly him, ended up in this position. He disclosed every single detail, how he maxed out his credit cards, managed to rent a car for three months, how he was the fucking heir to a multi-billion dollar company in Korea.

“Did you think this lie of your grandfather’s money was going to last long? I didn’t want to question it when I saw you pay for everything in cash. Or the fact that you had that bookbag with you the entire time,” your eyes glanced over the bag over his shoulders.

“Is that why you wanted to book this room in my name?” You remembered that you had agreed to it without question a few days ago.

You didn’t really want an answer from him. “I’m going for a walk. I’ll be back later,” you swung your backpack onto your right shoulder and headed for the door.

He didn’t stop you but watched your disappointed figure walk through the threshold. He didn’t go after you because it had been clear enough that you didn’t want to be followed. Jungkook threw his head down onto the bed.

You didn’t really want to say anything else to him as you allowed yourself to comprehend his situation. Surely, you were reacting with all this anger and disappointment from your point of view. You had been deceived; you didn’t even know who he was.

There was a park nearby the hotel and you spent the rest of your day there until the moon was showing herself again.

You texted Jungkook as the sun began to disappear.

[6:47 PM] y/n: No cafe tonight.

You didn’t spend every living moment together on this trip, but a meeting at a cafe when the sun set had become a ritual.

He didn’t reply.

When you finally digested what he had told you, you found yourself typing into a search engine ‘Jeon Jungkook’ and was shocked to find articles of his life in Korea. Why had you not even been curious and looked him up before?

Heir Jeon Jungkook with a mysterious woman? He chatted with a woman at a nightclub bar with a charming smile on his lips.

Jungkook, heir to Jeon Empires, rumored to be with a b-list actress? His hand on her face as he seemingly kissed her and you felt something weird brewing in your stomach.

Jeon Jungkook, heir to Jeon Empire, in a bar fight?! The blurry photos were of two men throwing punches at each other, the last photo recognizably Jungkook as he swung his fist in the direction of the other man.

Nearly all of them were so-called scandals. You couldn’t help but conclude that his open life in the media was nothing good except causing trouble and being with many, many women.

The Jungkook you knew, however, was the complete opposite. He was full of personality, a positive and bright energy you couldn’t compare to that person the media wrote about. He hadn’t made any advances towards you which made you question his player-type life before.

You couldn’t help yourself as you spent hours with your eyes glued to the phone screen reading article after article. Only when your eyes began to feel hot and tired, you stopped and contemplated whether or not you should return to the hotel room.

You had to; where else would you go?

The moment you walked through the threshold, Jungkook sat up on his bed. “y/n,” he breathed.

“Please, just give me some time,” you whispered quietly. You didn’t know how to describe the way you felt at the moment. Betrayal for pulling a lie that big? You didn’t know if your growing admiration for Jungkook was the reason the lie felt worse than it should.

Jungkook let you settle in for the night without a word. You turned over in the bed, not facing his and you heard him collapse into his bed.

You didn’t sleep much that night. You ran over and over in your head. Could you still stay with him after this?

You managed to fall asleep sometime when the sky turned lighter meaning dawn was breaking through. Maybe after getting a few hours of rest, your eyes were open again and you turned your head slightly to see Jungkook up and on his phone.

He woke up early and waited for you to wake up.

“I understand if you want to leave. I lied to you about me when you told me everything about you. I’ll get you a plane ticket back to Korea if you’d like,” he mumbled the last part quietly, his head bowing a bit lower out of shame.

“I’m not going to say that lying to me this entire time was okay, but I had some time to think. I still want some time to digest this whole situation, but we can still finish this trip if you’d like,” you offered.

Yes, lying to you about his identity wasn’t okay, but you spent the entire night considering his person as a whole rather than the title he had in Korea. This whole explanation you told yourself was even hard for you to put together.

Jeon Jungkook was the heir to a multi-billion dollar company, yes. However, the same Jeon Jungkook also helped a stranger who was broke on the streets in London. He was a kind-hearted person and you couldn’t deny that credit for him.

The same Jeon Jungkook told you about his favorite hobbies and the isolation he felt at home. That wasn’t a lie.

“Can we spend the last couple of days exploring separately?” You proposed the idea. “We hit the good spots already,” you added quickly.

Jungkook nodded quickly. As long as you still want to go finish this trip with me. For the first time in his life, he didn’t feel alone as weird as it sounded. He was used to so many people coming into his life and leaving, people he had trusted.

Friends, ones he made when he was younger, came and went when it was convenient for them, not for him. He learned to keep people at a distance in his life, especially any new friends he made.

Nannies, caretakers, they were hired to take care of him when he was young, but new ones came and went frequently. No one stayed long enough for him to remember their faces when the new one came.

His father took his mother away from him for business-related events and trips, and many there were.

When you hadn’t known he was part of this lavish lifestyle, he felt genuineness for the first time. Yet, when you knew who he was, he still felt it, and it was a foreign feeling.

“Cafe tonight?”

He was pulled from his train of thought. His eyes which had a distance glow in them were present again.

“Y-yeah,” he gave a small smile.

You gave him a small nod of confirmation.

The sky was still beginning to light slowly outside so you decided with a slight weight gone from your shoulders, you could catch just a nip of sleep.

You ended up just exploring a local market and to your surprise, Jungkook slipped money into the front pocket of your bookbag. You tried your best to spend the least, buying only a lunch for yourself and only shopped with your eyes. Even if he had revealed himself to you, you were bound to your word to not use him.

As planned, you met him at the regular cafe you two had been attending for the past half week since you both arrived in Paris.

Jungkook took it to him to wear a hoodie and sunglasses as the sun began to set. He sat at a table inside this time rather than outside.

Awaiting you at the table were two mugs of coffee and a plate with a few sweets.

“What’s with the outfit?” Although you felt an invisible divide between the two of you, you couldn’t help but comment. He was sitting inside and it was nightfall already for God’s sake.

You slid into the chair opposite of him. This meeting didn’t feel warm like all the one previous. It felt like you were meeting an acquaintance rather than the Jungkook you knew.

“Don’t really want to be noticed,” he responded briefly.

“Were you at the hotel the entire day? Are you planning on staying there for the rest of the trip?”

“Don’t really have much of a choice,” he shrugged. He had been more cheerful this morning, but his mood had shifted somewhat throughout the course of the day. The way he responded bit you cold, just slightly.

You shivered on the inside.

“I’m sure you have some questions. You couldn’t have not looked me up,” his tone was unreadable. It was like he was trying hard to be monotone and act like he didn’t care, but he couldn’t quite fake it.

“Yeah, I saw some articles,” you responded truthfully. No point in lying. You stared at the foam atop the coffee in your hand. You gravitated your hand slightly in a circle, watching the coffee swirl and the liquid to settle. Silence surely was settling itself nicely.

“Don’t you have any questions about them?”

His confidence wasn’t present because, at the end of the question, his voice faltered just slightly. He was actually afraid of what you had seen and what you could possibly conjure and conclude from those articles. After all, it wasn’t just words, but pictures, photographs of his face on them to back those words.

And he had an entire day to plant such fear in himself.

You heard the fear in his voice and you felt your heart pain for a quick second. Was he scared of your judgment?

Truth was, he was, but you just didn’t know that. Your judgment of him meant a hell lot.

“Your title doesn’t make you who you are on the inside,” you reached over the table and placed a light hand onto his chest where below his skin and bones was a beating heart. His head dropped, sight set onto your hand and where it was. “Jungkook, I’d be stupid to read articles and judge you just because of them. How can I trust the words of unreputable sources when I know you myself?” You asked softly.

It sounded weird coming from you. You’d only known him for how long? A few weeks? Merely a month?

Regardless, they somehow felt like the right words. You physically knew him for a short amount of time, yet emotionally, you knew each other for more than that. The amount you both disclosed to each other was unfathomable. It was surely not how much you disclosed to anyone else.

In that length, Jungkook lying about his family was incomparable.

Jungkook’s head rose, the corners of his lips rising slowly into a small appreciative smile.

The glow in your chest grew warmer.

–

True to your words, you had explored by yourself for the next few days. Jungkook didn’t step outside of the hotel regardless.

You came back to some room service trays either lying outside of the door or inside of the room and Jungkook scrolling mindlessly through channels on the T.V. or his cell phone.

There were no hard feelings. Just a time of adjustment.

The week in Paris hadn’t been what you expected, but the resolution was worth the sacrifice.

—

Paris en route to Barcelona

“Ten hours?!” Your eyes widened as you looked up from the map on your phone. Jungkook’s head dipped with a slight nod.

“We can take a pit stop at a hotel in between,” he shrugged. “Or just drive the entire ten.” The statement leaving you speechless. “I’m joking. We’ll stop at a hotel somewhere in the middle.”

The trip always began with music. Jungkook tossed you his phone and told you to pick a song to which you obliged happily. He had a wicked playlist.

The engine revving and silence between the two of you were drowned out by music, Jungkook tapping away to the beat on the steering wheel. You, in turn, hummed to the tune.

Somehow the music became a queue of Disney songs, one after another after you claimed you had to listen to Breaking Free. Somehow, Love is an Open Door came on the speakers and suddenly, you were finishing Jungkook’s sandwiches.

The song ended with you both in a fit of laughter as another song began to play. Your Disney karaoke session came to an end after nearly an hour of duets, your horrible solos and in contrast, Jungkook’s beautiful solos.

Suddenly, it grew quiet from the little banter you two had been having just a few seconds earlier.

“You know, I think it would be very easy to fall for someone like you.” You don’t know why you just openly admitted your thoughts, but it felt safe to. The car engine hummed quietly in the background and music played softly.

Jungkook hummed as his eyes trained on to the road ahead. “I’d think the same for you.” He smiled lightly.

“Hm, what makes you say that?” You were surprised by his words. You weren’t exactly the best in relationships and you always said you’d tango as one. What would make Jungkook think the same of you?

Jungkook was silent for a moment as if he was thinking. “Well, for me at least, you’re easy to talk with and have a killer smile,” his smile grew a bit wider at the thought. “You’re the type of person to dream. You still choose to dream even if society and circumstances told you not to.”

You glanced down at your lap as you felt your cheeks warm at his words. He thought those things about you. “A dreamer, huh?”

“Yeah, you came all the way here on the whims of a dream right? I admire that.”

“Yeah, a stupid one,” you mumbled quietly as you took your gaze your hands in your lap.

“It's amazing. I wish I had one like you,” there was nothing but admiration in his voice. “I wish I had that control like you,” he muttered. You thankfully hadn’t caught it.

“What about me?”

“Hmm?” You looked back up at him.

“What makes me an easy person to fall for?”

You pondered for a moment as you gather your thoughts. To be completely honest, Jungkook had a whole list of things going for him. “Well,” your finger tapped your chin. “You’re extremely charming. You can charm anyone very easily. From what I know, you have a good heart and a lovely smile as well.” Then the next line came out and you almost died in embarrassment, “Bonus: you’re extremely handsome.” You wanted to melt away and never come back the moment those words left your lips.

“You think I’m handsome, huh?”

The fact that he chose to point out that one statement in your compliment filled paragraph made you blush deeper.

“Maybe, or maybe I’m not seeing well and you're actually not,” your voice hinted teasingly as you laughed.

“Hey!” He reached a hand over to shove your shoulder lightly, but a chuckle still came from him. “I am one-hundred percent totally deadly handsome.”

“Sure, sure,” the laughter died down and the car grew silent.

“I think you give me more credit than I really take for.” If you’d known the life I lived at home, you’d not think so.

The thought had come out in words accidentally and you craned your gaze towards him. “What? Your life back home?”

Jungkook hadn’t realized the accidental mutter and a rush of panic struck him. “Nothing,” he brought back his casualness and shrugged his shoulders.

“My life was pretty shit,” you thought to fill the silence with your own story. He didn’t want to speak of his. You picked at the edge of your shirt. “Everyone wants to go to university and I just wasn’t the school type you know?”

You glanced at him for a moment and he gave a nod, eyes still on the road. “I know exactly what you mean.” He wasn’t exactly the star student himself.

“I got accepted to one, but I blew it off last minute and decided to take a gap year. My mom pretty much thinks I’m the dumbest person to make this choice,” a sigh left your lips. “Thinking about the break between me and my parents makes me think whether this trip was even worth it.”

“Well, what are you thinking right now?” Jungkook’s eyes flickered to you for a second, worried. He didn't like the thought of you not thinking this trip was worth it, and if you had thought that, you could drop out of it anytime. He definitely did not want that.

“I’m thinking that this was a once in a lifetime chance so I'd be a fool to not think it's worth it,” you revealed. You focused your attention on the blurring trees outside. “What about you?”

“I’m thinking that I’m really grateful you decided to follow your dreams and on top of that, it allowed me to meet this amazing human being sitting next to me.”

—

Massiac, France

You ended up taking a rest with an expected stop in a small French town of Massiac on the way to Barcelona.

By small, you meant like a population with under 2,000 people. You both ended up settling at a guesthouse that offered bed and breakfast.

You didn’t expect much when walking to your room for the night.

“Looks like we’re back to one bed,” Jungkook chuckled.

The bedroom was small, barely having enough space for the queen bed perched in the middle of the room and a small T.V. to be on a small table in the corner. Oddly, there was only a chair in the other corner of the room.

Thankfully, you two had opted to pack a few necessities and clothes to change into your bookbags and left your suitcases in the trunk of the car (out of sight from anyone who peeked into your windows, of course). They would have just been in the way.

“We’ll have to share?” You said sheepishly.

“If you don’t mind,” Jungkook was quick to respond. He pointed his thumb out the door. “I can take shelter in the car for the night.”

You shook your head. “It’s fine.” You saunter over to the bed and took a pillow, placing it in the middle of the bed. “Now we have two beds,” a laugh erupted from you.

It earned a chuckle from Jungkook as well as he shook his head at the idea. “Okay, Miss y/l/n, whatever you say.”

The night ended up being awkward, but you learned Jungkook loved to steal the sheets. You swore you were feeling so damn cold and subconsciously reached a hand over to your side to pull on the sheets to cover you.

Then sometime later, you were cold again, again without sheets. You, once again, reached over to tug the sheets onto you. Along with the sheets, you managed to tug something heavy and very warm next to you. That object shifted a lot.

In your foggy, sleeping mind, you only shuffled yourself over closer to the source of warmth and was even more satisfied when you were met with a cocoon of warmth.

In the morning, you realized the nice and comfortable cocoon of warmth was Jungkook and his arms and he was cuddling with you due to the lack of warmth every time you tugged the sheets away.

You both ran into fits of coughing as you moved away as far as possible upon waking up and meeting each other’s faces.

You awkwardly attempted to ease the situation with, “Remind me to never sleep with you again, you sheet hoger!”

Jungkook, who had settled down himself, diffused the situation in his classic way with a wink towards you.

Barcelona, Spain

Barcelona was a contrast compared to the cities you had yet to visit. The atmosphere made you feel more alive with every breath you took. Not to mention, the beautiful beaches the city had to offer which was a plus.

You had stayed at a hotel that had what you both desired most: a cafe right next door. You also managed to score a hotel that was right on the boardwalk in Barceloneta.

It was amazing. There were performances right outside of your hotel every night.

This night, in particular, there was a musician playing live music near the cafe. Yours and Jungkook’s conversations had settled from the constantly learning new things about each other. Some nights you both just talked about small things like how you liked the tourist sights you both saw today or just showing each other funny memes you saw while scrolling through your social media.

This was good though. It cleared the air from what had happened in Paris.

Suddenly, Jungkook hopped up from his chair across from you.

“Let’s go dance!”

“Hm?” You were taken aback by his words and momentarily, glanced at him.

He grabbed your hand and tugged you to the crowd. “Let’s go dance y/n,” he flashed you a smile. That, that was your favorite smile of his—a bit daring and wild as if he had the best idea in the world but it was not any ordinary idea. It was lovely, really.

You nodded and allowed him to sweep you away. The music was upbeat and you both tried to best to keep up with the crowd, but failed. Many other tourists had been laughing along with you both as they too failed. The atmosphere was warm and beautiful.

Both tourists and locals mixed in a crowd to dance traditional dances. The locals took the time to teach a few moves to the tourists as tourists tried their best to keep up. Guitars played in sync with each other for a few songs. When the song ended, cheers and claps filled the air.

“The next song should be easy to dance with,” a man spoke into the microphone with a slight chuckle and the crowd echoed with laughter. You recognized the song as a slow song with English lyrics. The man sang the slow tune and couples began forming, strangers shyly asking another stranger for a dance.

Jungkook took your hand with a shy smile. “Dance with me.”

You smiled back widely and nodded. “Of course.”

It was a slow dance and Jungkook led, swaying you both to and fro with the beat. Instead of keeping a distance, you danced, fronts almost pressed and you laid on his chest. He pulled away from you and you frowned, but he tugged onto your hand, spinning you. You let out a giggle and he pulled you close again.

Amidst the swaying, you felt drops of water on your arm. “It’s raining.” The drops fell faster and people began to take shelter under various storefronts. The musician, under a roof, continued to play for the only two left dancing—the two of you.

Instead of leaving, you both stayed dancing in the rain. Clothes sticking to your body from being drenched, you danced. Even after the slow song had ended and the musician began to change the song to a more upbeat one.

You felt your ears begin to drown out the music. Both your chests were rising and falling at a rapid pace and you felt Jungkook lean his forehead on to yours.

At this moment, the crowd was gone, no music, just you and Jungkook. What you felt at that exact moment was indescribable. It was the same feeling of comfort, satisfaction, and really delicious and fresh chocolate chip cookies. It felt...good.

It felt like eons had passed when you both found it in you to separate when in reality, the musician was only at the first chorus of the song he began to play when you drowned out the environment around you.

Jungkook flashed you a wide smile, the one where his eyes became crescent moons from his cheeks being squished from his bright smile. His eyes even became happy, the way there was this sheen and shine on them.

It was pretty damn infectious because your mouth broke out in a smile too.

The rest of your week in Barcelona had a different air between you two after that dance. You took note of it and you were damn sure Jungkook knew it too.

Sometimes, your eye would catch on Jungkook doing something and you’d feel your heart glow and warmth bubble inside your chest. If Jungkook caught you, he’d either freeze himself or send you a cheeky wink, then your heart felt like it went into overdrive.

You never felt that kind of feeling before and it led you down a path of confusion. You were becoming more comfortable with Jungkook’s presence. In fact, you loved his presence. This feeling was more than just enjoying someone’s company. The feeling you had whenever something like his arm wrapped around you or his hands holding yours to tug you to something he found cool was something else.

You never truly felt what it was like to fall for someone, but you were almost sure that’s what you were experiencing.

—

Barcelona en route to Provence

He turned his head quickly, glancing in your direction before turning his attention back to the road ahead. His lips curved into a smirk.

“Miss y/l/n, correct me if I'm wrong, but were you staring at me just now?”

He'd caught you, but you hide your embarrassment taking advantage of his adjusted focus on the road. “Well, Mr. Jeon, you were wrong,” the creeping blush on your cheeks giving your words away. You turned your head in the opposite direction.

“I mean there’s nothing wrong with it. I already know I’ve been gifted with this handsome face,” he added in a teasing tone.

Definitely.

“As if,” you faked a scoff.

Silence filled the car and Jungkook was not in any shape or form for the question you asked next. He nearly choked on his own breath.

“Jungkook, have you ever been in love?”

Jungkook literally began to cough. “What makes you ask that?”

You shrug your shoulders casually attempting to play off your question. “Just curious, never felt that before.”

“Actually, I don’t think I really was. Maybe crushes, but never anything serious,” he answered.

For some reason, you felt a wave of sadness hit you briefly and your worst fear: did you have feelings, but he didn’t?

You didn’t realize you began to fall victim to your own thoughts coming at you from every angle before Jungkook waved a hand in front of your face.

“What about you?”

“I wouldn’t really know if I was. If I liked someone, I would question it to no end. It might as well be one of my insecurities,” you let out.

Marseille, Provence, France

Provence, four words, lavender fields in Summer. True, you were coming late, but you definitely made it in time.

You both stayed at the capital of the region, a seaport with amazing hill lands where the city dwelled. You managed to find a small hotel that was near the top of one of the higher locations.

The second day, you were the first one to wake up. You had to go see the lavender fields. It did take two more hours of driving to Sault, France where the Lavender Trail was, but to be completely honest, the excitement you had was something Jungkook couldn’t refuse in a million years. You were practically jumping up and down in your seat the entire time.

You were even more overjoyed you both had made it on the day of the Lavender Festival which a farmers market was being held. Even miles away from the town, you swore you could smell the lavender scent with the warm breeze.

Jungkook, a few hours in the festival, disappeared and reappeared with some lavenders in his hands.

“For you,” he said with that charming smile. “We can press these too.”

“Thank you,” this time you accepted without hesitation.

That day, your camera roll was filled with shades of purple and it was one of your favorite days.

–

“y/n, come with me. I found something amazing last night,” there it was. There was that glint in Jungkook’s eyes that shouted daringly, ‘adventure’. He held out his hand to you which you took.

He led you through a series of stairs that you were pretty sure prohibited to guests at the hotel.

“Are you sure we can be here?”

He shrugged his shoulders. “It’s worth getting into some trouble for,” he smiled.

At the end of the stair climbing was a single door. Jungkook opened the door and guided you to the sound of a bustling city. Wind began to brush past you two, moving your hair in all sorts of directions. Your eyes were met with the sight of the night of a city below.

Jungkook pulled you closer to an edge.

“Come sit with me,” he took a seat near the edge, letting his feet fall over it and worry began to stream through you.

“It’s too high up. We can sit back here,” you took a seat next to him, but made sure to stay a safe foot from the edge.

“Come on, it’s a better experience this way,” he grasped your hand, giving it a slight squeeze.

Here you go, listening to him again. You couldn’t look over the edge exactly because your fragile heart would definitely not let you, but you began to inch forward, squeezing his hand for dear life.

You never let go.

The silence filled the air and you only dangled your feet, looking out onto the sea of lights. “Two weeks left.” A smile curved on your lips and you watched more of the lights turning on and the last bits of the sun disappearing behind the horizon. “Two weeks of crazy adventures.”

“Yeah.”

You turned to him only to see him watching you. “What are you doing? Look at those lights, they're beautiful.” You waved your arm out.

“I'm looking at you,” he said with a cheeky smile, but his voice wasn’t the same teasing tone. His eyes shined and you were trying to conclude what he was thinking of. At that moment, it became really silent, not the normal silence. It was the type of silence where you could feel the environment just pause and only the sound of your heart pounding fast in your chest was heard. You hoped it wasn't too loud for him to notice.

You just stared at him, letting the silence settle comfortably. Then you gave out an awkward laugh. “I'm sure, the lights and the view are a lot better to look at than m-,” you didn't get a chance to finish because before you could say ‘me’, his lips were on yours.

It wasn't one of those super long, passionate kisses; it was short, but it wasn't a peck either. He captured your lips with his and for some reason, you kissed back. For that split second, it felt like one of those kisses that felt like two puzzle pieces fitting together so perfectly. When he finally pulled away, his forehead leaning against yours, he whispered the words, “I like you, y/n. And if I keep falling at the rate I am at the moment, I will fall in love with you.”

There are two reasons people become breathless from a kiss: one, because they'd kiss for ages and ran out of breath and two, where the kiss had literally taken their breath away.

With your chest heaving, you knew this kiss had only made you breathless because of the emotions running through you. It was too short to have made you run out of breath, but rather, your heart had gone into overdrive. Your heart physically couldn’t handle this moment.

Your breaths intermixing with each other, his words mixing with it making this cocktail that made you want more. But the words registered with you and you pulled away from him before you could possibly get caught for more.

He watched you with those innocent doe eyes only telling you he meant it. He truly liked you.

His sudden confession caught you off guard. For the month you've been with Jungkook, you thought of his personality to be naturally flirty. He was handsome and charm was a part of the package.

You weren't going to lie, the times he'd pull you close or the cheeky comments made your heart flutter, but you'd blown them off. He was just flirty by nature, you told yourself. Yet, your stupid self let out, “you’re being serious, right?” You saw almost a crumble in his confident smile.

“Y-yeah?” You had never heard Jungkook stumble on an answer.

You felt the blush creep up your cheeks. “Oh no, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it to sound that bad. I was just being stupid,” you shook your head with an embarrassed smile.

Jungkook pulled back, hands on both sides of your arms. “Uh, y/n, how do you feel?” His voice was small, grown nervous at your lack of response.

“I kissed back, you know,” oh no, you gave another stupid answer. Your hand had literally went up to smack your forehead. “No, I did it again.”

This time the slightest sigh of relief came from Jungkook as he laughed.

“Okay, I like you, too,” you said sheepishly, recounting how you managed to respond terribly, not once, not twice, but three times. Now you answered in the most naive sounding way possible.

Jungkook chuckled and in the background, a shooting star made its way across the midnight sky.

–

You felt like you were on cloud nine that night, but you felt the opposite the next morning. Morning thoughts were the worst and this morning, they took you like crazy. You began to think about the future. What were you going to do when the trip ended? Sure, having fallen for Jungkook felt so amazing, but you couldn’t face what could happen in the future. It was so undetermined and Jungkook saw you sitting up in your bed with a blank stare on your face.

You felt the weight of the bed shift slightly but didn’t really fall out of your thoughts until Jungkook’s arms wrapped around you and gave you a gentle kiss on your temple.

“Good morning,” he whispered softly, head resting on your shoulder. “What are you thinking so deeply about?”

“What now?” You couldn’t help sounding so God damn blunt about it.

With a sigh, you could tell Jungkook had already breezed through that thought.

“y/n, I just told you how I felt. How about we just hold off on that and enjoy the remaining time? Maybe we can figure it out later?”

Later. That was procrastination. However, you just shrugged and agreed. Putting it off was probably both of you trying to avoid the inevitable.

–

True to your agreement, you both didn’t mention it again. It was constantly peeping over your shoulder, but just like that, you swatted away the thought and focused on your time at Marseille.

—

Provence en route to Venice

The eight-hour trip ahead required another pit stop at a small town, but no one was going to complain. It was another excuse to postpone the trip even just for a day.

Postpone deciding what the hell to do to clean up the fact that after this trip you’d both most likely be left heartbroken in completely different cities.

The night spent in the bed and breakfast, you felt the dread creeping further.

Although you only knew Jungkook for less than two months, it felt like you had known him for a decade.

As you laid, staring at him, the stars shone through the window behind him and you admired the being before you. You let your arms go around his middle and you admired his serene face.

Your eyes traced his nose, jaw, and lips. You thought about how safe you felt at this very moment, limbs tangled together. Your mind wandered to how if you hadn’t decided to go on this trip, what you would have missed out on.

Then you thought, ‘goddamnit Jeon Jungkook, what do I do?’

Venice, Italy

Jungkook was being darn cheeky when he requested a room with only one bed, but you still agreed. It wasn’t like you two haven’t shared a bed before and with your newfound confessions, you didn’t mind it. Not one bit.

To be completely honest, it was hard to not have Jungkook within your touch every second since that day. There was barely a moment when he didn’t clasp his hand in yours or vice versa. He didn’t waste a second where his head could be buried in the crook of your neck and arms wrapped around your waist and you not savoring each minute of it. Maybe it was the looming separation that you knew was coming in a few weeks.

Jungkook, himself, opted to leave his bed empty every night because he swore he was cold and you were the best warm pillow there could be.

It started with him climbing over in the middle of the night swearing he was freezing to death even though it was in the middle of the summer. Then he just completely abandoned his bed every night in Provence for the rest of the week.

“Dibs on the bed. You can have the sofa bed!” You exclaimed quickly, dropping the handle to your suitcase and launching yourself onto the king-sized bed in the middle of the room.

“Dibs on the bed!” Jungkook launched himself next to you bouncing you up slightly.

“Hey! I called it!” You whined, but really, a smile was making its way into your lips.

In seconds, he was on top of you, his fingers dusting over your rib cage and you falling out of breath from laughing constantly.

“Stop, ah!” You squealed, yes, squealed. You swatted his hands away, but his fingers continued their torture on your stomach.

When he finally stopped, his legs were on both sides of you and you were both out of breath from laughing, Jungkook at how funny it was messing with you and you from literally being tortured.

You didn’t realize Jungkook had become silent, his face merely inches from yours. His eyes scanned yours and when you didn’t show any sign of ‘no’, he dipped his head down further. This time, you could feel his breathing, lips right above yours.

You didn’t stop your eyes from dropping from his and then to his lips quickly before locking with his eyes again.

The weird thing was that you both refrained from kissing the entire time after that night. True, skin to skin contact was all you both did, but kissing didn’t occur as much as one would expect from your situation.

Thoughts aside, you reached up to kiss him. What was meant to be a peck became Jungkook’s hands falling around your waist and pulling you closer to him, deepening the kiss ten folds. It didn’t help that your hands magically found their way to his hair, fingers knotting in his locks.

In times like this, you both wondered if it would be okay to go further. Was it wrong to lust for someone you only knew for a few months? Was it wrong to fall into the embrace of your own desires to be closer? To the point of complete contact? Unfortunately, you were too shy to voice it nor make any sign of it. Then again, it was never a loss to be kissing and in each other’s arms for hours on end after being tired from a long drive.

–

Being the tourists you were, you swore on your life you had to visit the Trevi Fountain and make a wish before you had to leave.

Jungkook couldn’t sway you from that regardless of how many gondola rides he offered to take you on.

It was crowded, but with the frame like Jungkook, he was able to maneuver you right to the front through the throngs of people.

“Here,” Jungkook handed you a coin.

“You should make one too,” you reminded, excitement bubbling in you.

Jungkook nodded.

You took your time, closing your eyes and thinking of a good wish, but when you closed your eyes, you really just thought of Jungkook.

You could have wished for anything, happiness, freedom from the chains of family duties you knew were waiting for you when you’d go back, but no, you wished for something completely different.

You wanted deep down to wish that you and Jungkook didn’t end here after the road trip. You wanted to wish this wasn’t going to be the end for you both. That there was more; that the paths your lives crossed here wouldn’t have to branch off inevitably because you lived too differently.

So you did. You wished for it, somewhere deep down, you really hoped this fountain would be powerful enough to actually grant your wish.

When you closed your eyes, you assumed Jungkook was getting ready to make his wish alongside you. Instead, he had watched you. He didn’t need a wish; the miracle that came into his life was you.

So he watched you; eyes scanning over your face, memorizing the moment. He reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone; he wanted to remember this moment. The moment when you looked so beautiful with your eyes closed, hands crossed over your lips, thinking. When Jungkook really looked at you, he always felt whoever was there, whether one person or a hundred, they melted away. They became a blurred background and only you were there in front of him.

So silently, he took a photo.

Really, you’d never knew this photo existed.

He quickly tucked his phone away quickly to make sure to clasp his hands and close his eyes as if he had just wished.

At the end of the day, you both wandered, allowing yourself to put away Google Maps for just a few hours and get lost in the city.

–

On the last night, per your daily dose of cafe talks, you saw Jungkook get a bit tipsy for the first time. Okay, he was like pretty much drunk.

You both decided to have wine at the cafe as a last hurrah in Venice.

You unexpectedly were tipsy as well, giggling constantly at almost anything that happened.

Jungkook was a funny drunk and to be completely honest, you didn’t remember much of that night. It was like spots in your memory.

You remembered Jungkook trying to tell a joke he saw on his phone earlier and attempting to reenact it, tipping back on his chair too far and falling completely over.

You remembered how you tried to take him on a joke-off claiming you had way better jokes than him. When you told your rebuttal joke, it was so bad that Jungkook laughed because it was so ironically not funny.

You remembered the both of you stumbling back to the hotel room barely able to walk in a straight line although you were less drunk than him so he leaned more on you with his arms around your shoulders, being the dead weight he was.

But you didn’t remember how you both were laughing happily until you dropped onto the bed and he pulled you close with his arms, legs still hanging off the bed claiming he never let you go and silence took over.

You both did not remember when Jungkook drunkenly proclaimed how much he had loved you and how sure he was about it. How he wanted to shout so loud to the gods that were listening.

You both did not remember when he proclaimed every single thing that he admired about you and that they were the reason he fell for you. His mouth forming details of you and his fingers travelings the slopes of your face and body from the angle that your nose sloped to the way the corners of your lips pulled up into possibly his most favorite smile on the planet.

You both did not remember how you responded by crying your eyes out about how beautifully he proclaimed his love and how you felt the same way but you were scared. Scared about this new unknown feeling that you now knew the name of and scared to admit it because this trip will eventually end and you feared how having these feelings would eventually mean nothing.

The next day you both woke holding onto each other and you didn’t know why your eyes were red and puffy.

—

Venice en route to Rome

You were finally headed to your last destination and your three months of adventure would end. Even though there was a week left until you both had to decide what was to come, the drive to Rome was filled mostly with silence.

Although you had been on this trip for nearly three months, the silent car ride had made it feel like almost the first one when he had just picked you up from the gas station.

The silence was brimming with unspoken emotions. Sadness? Longing?

The entire ride, Jungkook kept your hand in his, fingers gently brushing over your knuckles in a caressing way.

You barely looked at each other.

It was physically hard to. In past drives, you both spilled stories you experienced to pass the time or just talked about anything. Today, you found it hard to even glance in each others’ way when you felt the end looming closer with each mile passed.

Rome, Italy

You weren’t going to lie. The dread of the end of the trip cast a shadow over the week spent in Rome. You still enjoyed yourselves as much as possible, but the dread was overwhelming. It was like you just took your heart, wrapped it up nicely, and presented it to Jungkook, and suddenly, two weeks later, you had to take it back. A present wasn’t meant to be taken back by the giver, but received, kept, and taken care of by the receiver.

You wish you hadn’t admitted anything in Provence, but looking back, you couldn’t make it. You couldn’t control a pot that’s about to boil over unless you control the heat causing it to, right? In the end, you ended up turning off the heat completely, didn’t you?

Unconsciously, you both allowed yourselves to distance, farther and farther every day. Less intimate touches and fewer embraces. It was like a psychological choice. Knowing you’d eventually go your separate ways, your minds were forcing your bodies to begin to prepare for the eventual impact.

“Let me take you out,” Jungkook spoke suddenly. “One last time,” a sad smile on his lips.

Tomorrow marked the end and although it was almost certain you had decided yourself, you would be parting ways.

“Okay,” you responded quietly.

You got ready that night, dressed to the nines. It was your last night so why the hell not? You pushed away any thoughts about tomorrow as far out as possible as you pulled on the most lavish dress you could find in your belongings, a red dress you somehow packed that you never had the guts to pull off at home.

Jungkook, himself, pulled on a dress shirt and black slacks.

–

You leaned against the balcony railing and watched the city skyline, the lights on the buildings across the river from you. The wind played with your hair, blowing it gently into different directions. Honestly, anytime spent on this balcony would be breathtaking.

You missed the footsteps of Jungkook approaching you from behind and your heart jumped slightly when a head leaned onto your shoulders and a pair of arms circled around your waist.

“I could spend an eternity with you. Not just here. Anywhere on this damn planet. Even if we were stuck on a deserted island,” he admitted.

Your lips curved into a smile and your heart skipped a few times hearing his words. “Even if we end up fighting over a single coconut for food?”

You felt his chest vibrate against your back as he let out a resounding chuckle. “I’d have to learn how to fish then. Ya know, just in case, so you don’t fight me over a coconut.”

You don’t know why but you felt a single tear rolling down your cheek at the thought of getting away with him. You weren’t sure if it was your insane emotions driving you to love this man or your naivety to what love was. For sure, you could love him.

“That would be perfect.” Unfortunately, you couldn’t hold your emotions from your tone and your voice faltered just a bit.

Jungkook frowned and his hands held onto your shoulder as he spun you around.

It was a single tear, but it gave you away and your smile couldn’t be sadder. His eyes searched yours, only to find melancholy.

“We haven’t talked about tomorrow,” you reminded. His eyes reflected the same emotions.

Jungkook’s hands held on your face in a gentle caress. “I want to kiss you.”

Then he did and you didn’t stop him. You missed his touch too much. Even though you both tried to separate as much as possible this week, it was like playing Jenga. The more you took out to build, the weaker the tower would be.

The more you tried to hold yourselves back, the weaker your resolves became.

To your surprise, after a brief moment, Jungkook was the one to pull away.

To his surprise, your hands reached to the back of his neck, pulling him back in. “Can we not care for tonight?”

Human greed was always strong.

Jungkook gave in, lips on yours once again, this time he kissed you harder and you had somehow staggered against the cool wall outside of your hotel room.

Now all your hard work was really thrown out the window.

“Up,” he spoke against your lips. You listened, legs looping around his waist within a second. His hands held you firmly as he walked away from the balcony, kicking the door shut behind him.

His tongue begged for entrance and as your back hit the bed, you gave it to him.

You allowed your hands to roam from his hair and daring yourself as your fingers glided under the hem of his shirt and onto warm skin.

His own hands ventured from your hips, up your sides, and to your hair finding purchase there.

“y/n,” and even though this flurry of activities had only been lighthearted and hadn't gone far from just kissing, Jungkook’s voice had a deeper, more husky tone in it. It was one with a hint of lust but mostly filled with an unsure feeling. “Are you sure?”

He'd known where this could lead to, where it could end and he didn't want it to end in regret.

You gave him a nod and you meant it.

Never been more sure.

For once, you’d let yourself be selfish. You knew what tomorrow would bring after your confession, but you wanted to be selfish.

Once again, human greed was too strong. You wanted him, you wanted to have all of him.

Without a second word, his lips separated from yours leaving you wanting them back as they began to play dangerous games with your body. First, your neck, then lower and lower.

You didn’t deny your body of what you really wanted that night because, in reaction, your body tensed with desire and you allowed your hands to find his hair again.

You wanted all of him and that night, you let him take you into oblivion as your clothing found their way to the floor in a pile next to the bed one by one. Then you both were stripped bare, naked to each other both physically and emotionally.

The feeling of being bare and laid out before him brought you a creeping feeling of self-consciousness until with two simple words from him, those feelings were flushed out. Gone as if they never existed.

“So beautiful,” he whispered, eyes grazing over your body in utter adoration. Then his eyes were back on your own.

He'd given you his love in the most intimate way possible that night. It was the love he proclaimed the night you both didn’t remember. He was proving it to you once again, sober.

His mouth had cherished you so, his body worshipped you with his all.

The act that some would call sinister became your heaven as his hands and mouth became familiarized with every curve your body owned, as his hips rocks into yours. You were his to cherish, to give himself to and he wanted to do it in the most tender way possible. He cherished your body as if it was the very moon and stars in the night sky as he made love to you.

The soft moans that escaped your lips, every breath you took, the way you arched your back in response to his movements. Jungkook noted them all because he was focused on you and solely you.

When he came to his high, your name fell from his lips like a mantra along with long strings of profanity. Not long after, your own body grew taut, then loose as you came undone before him.

He kissed you once again, gentle as ever, allowing you both to savor the moment of utter bliss.

Covered in sweat and bodily fluids, both tired from the highs you've experienced, you'd finally found your eyes begin to flutter shut, but not before memorizing each other's faces; the soft smiles you had on your faces.

With an arm under his head, his eyes watched you and a finger brushed past your jaw.

No words needed.

His arms slipped around your waist, pulling you flush against him. The intimate moments had passed and he just wanted to feel you skin to skin. Skin to skin was as close as he could get to you.

You wrapped your arms around his middle, a tired smile on your lips.

For that brief night, you both had actually managed to trick your minds into forgetting the goodbyes awaiting tomorrow. You were in the moment and there was nothing but.

I think I love you so much.

–

Your finger tapped on Jungkook’s arm, your eyes wandering over his bare skin. The sun began its journey into the sky and now today was the tomorrow you dreaded yesterday. You wished you could stay like this for a while, heck, for an eternity.

Yeah, let’s freeze time and you could spend just a moment more in his arms.

Your eyes matched his as if you both just acknowledged this was it. Today’s the day, the end.

“Come back with me. I can pay for you can go to university back in Seoul and I’ll beg my father to let me stay in Korea.” Jungkook paused before letting his deepest feelings take control of his voice and words.

“I can’t… we can’t just end this. It barely started and as cheesy as I sound, y/n, I’ve never felt this way about someone. I want to keep seeing you every day. I promise I won’t get bored. I want to learn about all of the weird quirks I didn’t get to yet and fall even more in love. I can’t just let this slip away like some brief summer love. Please give this a real chance. Come back with me.”

His words caused a sad smile to take the place of your previous frown and tears near falling from your eyes and in a heartbeat, you would have said yes. Not for offering to pay for your university, but for staying with him. In a heartbeat, you would have agreed to be with him, but that would mean being irrational.

You never knew you could fall in love with a stranger you agreed to go on a three month trip with. Yet, here you were.

And you were going to set yourself up to decline his offer to stay and be with him, to allow your relationship to continue even though last night, you both had just profusely admitted your love.

Seoul, South Korea — the following autumn after that summer

You said no. You told him you couldn’t go with him to wherever it was. It wasn’t possible. He lived a life that was the complete opposite of yours. He had his own duties to return to and you had yours. You didn’t want him to sacrifice anything so you two could have hope on something that had too many uncertainties and vice versa.

There was no making commitments to be in a relationship together. You saw no resolution with that.

How could a prince be with a peasant? Life was no fairytale. That was the harsh reality.

The last time you saw Jeon Jungkook was at the Incheon International Airport shuttles where it’d take you to busses to take you back to your hometown.

Jungkook walked to the shuttles with you and waited, claiming his car wasn’t there yet. You knew it was a lie. You only sat on the bench with him and lay your head onto his shoulder, feeling his breath, up and down. Up and down.

No talking, just silence. When the shuttle came to a squeaky stop in front of the stop, you both stood and embraced. There were no words but, “Goodbye.”

You both didn’t know if there was anything to say. Do you have something to say like an emission of feelings to add to your departure? Surely, it was there, but no one attempted.

You turned to step onto the shuttle and sat down quickly to catch a glimpse of Jungkook as the shuttle drove off. Both your eyes remained locked. When he became nothing but a small dot and you couldn’t possibly turn your head anymore to watch him disappear from your sight, you sighed.

Jungkook was going to be greeted with a car to take him to his father’s company doors while you would be taking a shuttle to take you to where the busses to home were.

This is where the chance happening of the intertwined path of your lives would stop. They would branch off into different directions like a tree branch eventually growing to split into two so the life of the tree can continue. Both your lives would continue, separately.

Just as the trees become shades of reds, oranges, and browns in the autumn and fell from the ever-growing branches, you returned to your daily life.

Your parents were happy that you had returned to their home and even more glad when you enrolled yourself in classes to help with college credits so you could apply for university in the coming year.

Did you miss Jungkook? Yes, your heart yearned terribly the first few weeks when you went back to reality.

When you saw something from your trip together, whether it be a photo on your phone, those flowers that were pressed in the book, the faint scent of lavender on that page, or the dress you had worn the night you both danced in the rain, you felt like someone was pressing a knife to your heart once again.

The truth is you got to know this stranger with a kind heart, who loved singing with his heart, who had never once felt the trust he felt with you, who made you feel like you were one with the stars, who was the biggest dork on the planet and fell in love with him a place foreign to both of you.

One day, you managed to smile at the memory rather than feel the pain of missing something or someone and it felt good.

When you were finishing some Calculus homework at the cafe you worked at as the sun began to set, the doorbell rang for the first time in hours. You quickly closed the textbook and shoved it into your bag before rising from your seat near the counter. The customer was still observing the menu above as you rushed behind the counter.

“Hi, how can I help you?” You quickly typed in your ID into the POS screen to unlock it. You lifted your head with a smile.

A familiar pair of brown eyes observed you before the man cocked his head to the side a bit with a charming smile rising on his lips.

Your heart fluttered within your chest.

“Hey, y/n”

a/n

reposting because i found out tumblr messed with my tags and now they’re fixed *long sigh*

but hopefully this story gets the love it needs after being screwed over :’) (aka, this one shot is literally my b a b y that i’ve nurtured for a long time)

yours truly, Selene ♡

[dastardlydandelion]

medium luci

ao3 link

content warnings: homophobia, comphet, child abuse, abusive relationships

It’s rare that Susan and Neil have the same weekday off. Neil typically works five days a week and she three or four, depending who’s on staff, being that she’s only part-time. But he’d had a dentist appointment midmorning so he’d taken today off and decided to make his hours up by volunteering for a double next week.

Susan doesn’t typically care to spend any extra time alone with her husband. They have so little to talk about these days, now that he doesn’t try to butter her up or feed her honey sweet lies as much as he used to. Now that Neil doesn’t care to talk much at all unless ranting or complaining about the various things he doesn’t like, his son’s style of dress, women who sit with their legs open, cab drivers who don’t speak English. Susan doesn’t even remember the last time Neil had to take a cab but he has strong opinions on them nonetheless, and the list goes on and on.

He thankfully hasn’t done much of that today, however. He’d parked himself in front of the television after coming home from his appointment and simply nodded when Susan announced she was going out to garden. She only comes inside when she hears the phone ring and by the time she’s walking up the back steps, Neil’s already answered it.

She watches his expression change as he converses with whomever’s on the other end, nervousness fluttering in her chest as his eyes widen, then harden.

“I’ll be right there,” Neil concludes as he hangs up, turning those hard eyes onto Susan. “That was the school.”

“Oh dear…what’s Billy done this time?”

“Not Billy.” Neil shakes his head and Susan’s heart drops with the realization her husband isn’t just irritated but seething, knuckles blanched as his hands ball into tight fists. “Maxine. Did you know the Sinclairs have a girl around her age?”

“N-No, I didn’t. I’m not very familiar with them, Neil.” Susan never had much luck getting close to anyone anymore, not in the least because of Neil himself.

“Apparently Maxine is,” he declares icily. “A teacher caught her and the Sinclair girl fornicating under the bleachers.”

Susan’s heart turns to stone and sinks into her stomach.

No.

Please, no.

Neil has very strong opinions about sexuality in general and homosexual conduct in particular, and Susan can practically feel the outrage radiating from him. It crackles in the air like the promise of a lightning storm. Neil’s fists are still clenched and his posture goes taut like it always does before he explodes.

“W-Well,” Susan begins, swallowing past the lump in her throat.

She hates herself for what she is going to say. She says it anyway.

“Well, you know where she learned that kind of b-behavior from, don’t you?”

Because if Neil is going to explode, Susan can’t stop him. But she hopes she can at least encourage the worst of it away from Max. She watches Neil’s eyes flicker and knows they’re both remembering the day they came home early from the short vacation they’d taken for their fifth anniversary, a girl and a boy sneaking out of Billy’s bedroom window, neither particularly clothed. She watches the angry bulge of the vein pulsing in his neck and knows they’re both thinking of that short young fellow with the skateboard who worked at the used car lot during the day and spent his time with Billy during the night.

“Yes, I know exactly where she learned it from. I’m picking both of them up and we’re all going to have a family discussion.”

“I should come with you.”

“No.” Neil holds up his hand. “Stay here, Susan. We’ll be back soon enough.”

Neil has gun powder in his gaze and she dares not argue. She lowers her head and steps aside when he walks past to fetch the truck keys from the hook. He stomps down the steps and slams the backdoor shut behind him.

Susan watches through the window as he gets into the truck and pulls out of the driveway, feeling dreadfully ill. She doesn’t mean what she’d said, of course. There are a number of behaviors that Max has picked up from Billy, but that isn’t one of them. If anyone is to blame, Susan supposes it’s herself for passing it along intrinsically.

She has her own secret desires locked away within the chambers of her heart. Desire she dares not confront for her own sanity, for her own safety. She’s never acted on her wants, always chose to play private games of hide and seek with them in her head instead, those insidiously innocent wishes of hers. Never spoken aloud let alone pursued those urges that flush hot beneath her skin when she finds her eyes drawn to other women’s lips, hips, breasts.  

Susan gave it to Max and unlike her, Max is brash and bold and brave. God save her, Max does what she wants to do and doesn’t care what other people think. Susan would admire her for it if it didn’t scare her to death.

Because Neil does care what other people think. He cares very much. And Susan’s seen him annoyed with Max in the past. She’s seen him frustrated with Max, displeased, exasperated. But never has she seen the silent stirring of a reign of rage to come where Max is concerned, never has she known that particular look in Neil’s eye to be directed Max’s way. She can only hope—

Oh, it’s such a despicable thing to hope for. Susan has poison in her soul, she swears she must. But Billy isn’t remotely hers and Max very much is.

* * * 

Susan doesn’t know if it was actually her remark that spurred Neil to turn the blame on Billy or if this was the conclusion he would’ve come to anyway. Neil often blames Max’s mishaps and mischiefs on Billy. Billy being the older sibling meant to lead by example. Billy being the older brother, meant to keep his younger sister out of trouble to begin with.

Her remark or Neil’s default thought process, in any case, it’s Billy he’s glaring at in the living room. Angrily dictates that Billy take off his shirt, belt in hand. Susan grabs a very pale Max’s shoulders and begins to usher her down the hall.

“Where are you taking Maxine?”

Susan freezes, mouth going dry.

Neil’s looking their way now, brow arched, stern and skeptical.

“I-I—“

“She isn’t going to learn if she doesn’t watch, Susan,” he declares with no room for argument. “Bring her back.”

Susan swallows, hands tightening on Max’s shoulders. Something dies inside her when she turns her daughter around. She buries it silently as she’s buried so many other pieces before and avoids Max’s eyes boring into her as she marches her back to the living room. Neil motions for them to sit on the couch, sunlight glinting off the metal buckle. Billy doesn’t bother to disguise his disdain, glaring murder, nostrils flaring like an ornery bovine. Susan suspects he’ll pay for this too.

“Your behavior today was beyond inappropriate, Maxine,” Neil tells her coldly. “Unnatural, disgusting, absolutely unacceptable.”

Max squirms next to Susan, hands tucking under her thighs. She is stone faced but this close, Susan can feel her shaking.

“Now, I know it’s not all your fault. Big Brother here’s taught you—“

“I didn’t teach her shit!” Billy cuts him off, sharp and acidic. “I told her to steer clear from Sinclair, this isn’t on me!”

Neil punches his son in the stomach with all the affect of swatting a fly, once, twice. Susan flinches. Billy’s gasping, breath knocked out of him. He staggers and Neil viciously shoves him to the floor.

“She saw you with that faggot’s tongue down your throat, don’t think I don’t know! I know you, I know the kind of shit you think you can get away with behind my back!” Neil roars like thunder. “Well, now it’s my turn to teach her a thing or two! Pay attention, Maxine!”

Max stiffens beside her. She opens her mouth to protest and Susan grabs her arm, sinking her nails in. Startled, Max's eyes dart to her. Susan gives a tiny shake of the head, urging her not to speak. Max bends her elbow like a chicken wing and jerks her arm out of Susan’s grasp. Ire flares in her gaze but she holds her tongue. She does not challenge Neil as he begins beating Billy with the belt.

Susan can’t watch. She lowers her eyes to the floor. She can see the movement in the shadows, Neil’s rapid whipping of the improvised weapon and Billy’s form jolting with the blows. Susan shuts her eyes to the shadows but she can still hear it, thick, hard leather striking bare flesh.

“Don’t turn away, Maxine,” Neil barks at some point between the sounds of violence.

Billy doesn’t cry out. Eventually it’s over. Susan raises her head and cannot bear more than a glance at her stepson braced on his hands and knee. The belt now rests at Neil’s side and still, her stomach is churning.

“If there is ever a repeat of the conduct you displayed today, there will be consequences. Is that understood, Maxine?”

Max looks to Susan. Her eyes are wavering. Then they glean whatever it is they were searching for from Susan’s and harden.

“Yes,” she mumbles.

“Yes, what?”

Max clears her throat.

“Yes, sir,” she corrects, louder and clearer.

“Both of you to your rooms,” he commands. “I want both of you to reflect on your actions until it’s time for dinner.”

“Yes, sir,” Billy answers this time, climbing to his feet in the corner of Susan’s eye. She remains on the couch as her daughter rises and plods down the hall, cheeks as red as the cherry atop a sundae. Flushed as red as the welts on Billy’s back that have Susan’s stomach in ropes even though she only spares a brief glance.

Neil sets the belt aside and plops down in his armchair. “Can you get me a beer, Susan?”

She nods and rises, quietly fetching one. Pops the tab and then passes it to him before she excuses herself. In times like this, Susan wants to leave more than anything. She wants to grab Max and take her far, far away. But she can’t imagine they would get anywhere, truly.

Neil controls the finances. Susan makes less money than he does and every cent she does earn inevitably winds up under Neil’s attentive purview. In a distant, ostensible kind of way Susan understands there are shelters for women in her situation. Shelters out there, somewhere…aren’t there? For her situation?

Neil hasn’t actually put his hands on her. Not yet. Not like what he just did to Billy. Hasn’t actually done so to Max, although the threat of that unfolded in the living room in a way that could not be more crystal clear. The threat alone feels like a fist to Susan, invisible fist clenched tight around her insides and squeezing so hard she's nauseous.  

Is the threat enough? Would Susan and Max be accepted on the basis of threats alone?

Provided she could ever find such a place to begin with. Susan doesn’t have the faintest clue of where to look for what feels more like a nebulous fantasy of a sanctuary than a tangible reality. A shimmering oasis in the desert. Even if she were to locate such a place, what if it were at full capacity?

What if she and Max got turned away?

That would mean choosing between being homeless or going back to Neil. Going back to Neil after a failed escape would certainly mean him making good on all those threats of his, the ones verbal and non. The examples explicit in his words and implicit in his actions. Above all, any failed escape would certainly ensure there would be no second escape.

Susan isn’t going anywhere. And neither is Max. The very notion is abstract and distorted, floating just out of reach in a gaussian blur of a wish. Their home isn’t a good home. But it is the home they have and so, Susan will simply have to do her best to make sure Max never does anything like this again. That Max never does anything to get Neil’s attention like that, nothing to stoke the coals always smoldering in his choleric soul. That as painful as it's sure to be, Max learns to keep certain parts of herself under lock and key.

When dinner is in the oven and Neil is engrossed in his program, Susan slips off to Max’s bedroom. She knocks quietly and lets herself in. Her throat knots up at the tear tracks on her daughter’s cheeks, far more gutting than the way she bristles as Susan steps closer, the sheer hurt in her eyes.

“What do you want?”

The same things as you, Susan thinks irresistibly. And I’d go after them too, if I didn’t know better.

“I’m sorry, Max.”

Max huffs and turns away. “Whatever.”

“I am.”

“No you’re not. You’re just like Neil, you think I’m disgusting,” Max spits, hiking her legs up on the bed and hugging her knees to her chest. “You think Billy’s disgusting too, you couldn’t even look at him.”

“No, I don’t…oh, Max.” Susan swallows and lowers herself to a sit beside her on the bed, gently placing a hand on her knee. She swallows her heartbreak when Max’s eyes flash as though the touch scalds her. “Neil and I disagree about many things. This is one of them.”

“Then why didn’t you say that?” The blaze in Max’s eyes dies down, voice softening to cinders. “Why didn’t you stop him?”

“Oh, he’s so much bigger than me, Max.” Susan sags with familiar defeat. “And I— I don’t think it’s wrong, you and this girl.”

“Lucy.”

“I’m sure Lucy is lovely,” leaves Susan’s lips, this fragile whisper she dares not tempt fate to speak above. “I could never think that you’re disgusting. But I’m just me, Max, and Neil is bigger, and the world…the world too, is so much bigger than I am. You can’t— never, ever in public.”

Max’s eyes widen. Susan shifts on the bed and moves her hands, finds both of Max’s and squeezes tight.

“You cannot be open with feelings like that. You can’t take girls to your school dances, you can’t kiss them where other people could see.”

Max lets out an angry growl even as her eyes well up.

“It’s not fair!”

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“That’s not good enough!”

“I know.” She knows, oh, she knows, she’s never not choking on it.

Max chews her lip, scarlet and fuming. Susan halfway expects her daughter to headbutt her or holler right in her ear until she deafens. But after a moment it’s almost as if Max can decode all the things she cannot say because her hands twist under Susan’s and intertwine their fingers.

[just-call-me-the-intrusive-thot]

Soulmate September - Day 5

Day 5 - Any intense emotions your soulmate feels you will also experience.

Pairing(s): Romantic Logicality, Background Romantic Prinxiety

TWs: Suicide Mention near the end, swearing, talk of death, anger issues perhaps? let me know if I missed anything!

–

Ever since the day he burst into a hysterical giggle fit out of the blue in the middle of his very first recess, Logan Faraday could tell his soulmate would be a handful.

Of course, this initial outburst had already cost Logan any chances of socialising; soulmate or not, it’s hard to convince other children that you’re not crazy when you very suddenly laughed in their face mid sand castle construction. Needless to say, the only upside to that first recess was that he could work on said sand castle by himself. Yes, that was an upside. At least, Logan convinced himself it was.

Logan preferred to keep his emotions rather modest, not initially to save his soulmate from a similar ostracisation as he had suffered, but simply because he preferred it that way. Were there moments that he felt intense emotions regardless? Certainly. For his ninth birthday, his fathers had caved and bought him a telescope, a gift he used to this day despite it’s child-sized inefficiency. At the time it was a fleeting thought, but as he watched the stars while his fathers both pointed out constellations - and occasionally bantered back and forth over any inaccuracies - Logan wondered if his soulmate felt his love and passion for the stars. If they could feel how much the gift had meant to him. The thought was one Logan allowed to slip away at the time, only to receive a feeling of pure joy immediately after. As much as his soulmate’s overly excitable emotions could cause him all kinds of trouble, Logan couldn’t help but hope deep down that his soulmate was so happy because he was happy. 

Logan went to sleep that night feeling like a bright newborn star…

-

Years of spontaneous happiness and excitement was something Logan was used to; sudden, unstoppable sadness was not. 

“Logan?”, his science teacher had inquired concernedly, “Is everything alright?”

Logan hadn’t realised he was crying profusely until he looked down at his notebook to be greeted by a wet splatter causing his notes to spread out in a blue flower of sorrow. He wiped at his eyes initially, ignoring the awful sad feeling in his chest, spouting a near monotone, “I’m fine.”, though the tears didn’t stop. Out of the corner of his quickly blurring sight, Logan could see his classmates talking. Whispering among themselves. About the situation. About him. 

His teacher hadn’t needed to ask again before Logan packed his bag, simply offering, “Actually I feel rather unwell. I’ll go to the nurses office. Excuse me.”, before he all but ran out of his classroom. 

Why? Why couldn’t his soulmate stop crying!?

Logan made a beeline for the nearest bathroom, locking himself in a stall to let his soulmate’s emotions pour out their sorrows in peace. Unwavering sadness, a cocktail of fear and helplessness stirred in there too for good measure. If Logan had felt more empathetic at the time, he’d have tried to understand his soulmate’s obvious distress. But he was only a teenager. A stupid, angry, hormone-addled teenager with more frustration than sense who lashed out instead. Why didn’t his soulmate understand what they were putting him through?! Why couldn’t they just stop making him embarrass himself?! Didn’t they understand how he felt?!

“WHY CAN’T YOU STOP MAKING ME FEEL LIKE THIS?!”, Logan yelled as he kicked at the stall walls and doors in frustration as the tears just kept coming. In fact, they seemed to worsen the angrier Logan got until he was a sobbing mess on the dirty bathroom floor. With no signs of the tears stopping, Logan wrenched his notebook out of his bag, flipping to the last page and scrawling out a quick note before he would leave to go be sent home by the nurse,

“Ask Soulmate About:

April 13th 20XX: debilitating sadness, unstoppable crying, demand explanation”

Logan never told his parents exactly why he was home early, brushing off his fathers’ concern with a simple, “I felt unwell and couldn’t focus”, as he ascended the stairs to his room to spend the rest of the night stargazing, hoping to drive away his earlier outburst. Instead, Logan felt overwhelming guilt. His soulmate was bawling their heart out and he’d answered them with anger. Irrational, illogical, rage that they didn’t deserve. Now Logan felt nothing from his soulmate as he lay in his bed and wished - oh how he wished - he could’ve relived the day just so he could properly comfort his soulmate instead of lashing out at them like a snarling animal. But he couldn’t. And he’d have to live with that forever. 

Logan went to sleep that night feeling like a monster…

-

Over the next three years, Logan had slowly become convinced that his soulmate was dead. He had heard rumours; people who found out their soulmate had died some time after they had stopped feeling anything from them. The thought was terrifying to Logan. Outwardly, he tried not to let the thought consume him; people die every day, they come and go, and no one has control over the how or when. There were times when Logan was sure he felt something. Just the tiniest twinge of an emotion, but the feeling would be gone so fast, he was sure he was just imagining things. By the time he turned 18, Logan had accepted that his soulmate must have died. And the last thing they’d potentially felt from Logan was his seething anger and resentment. 

What a goddamn fool he had been.

At nineteen, Logan had been accepted into his top choice college and quickly began establishing a routine; he’d wake up at 6 am, ignore his roommate, Roman, loudly announcing his love for his soulmate to the mirror, walk across campus to his classes, have lunch with classmates, then return to his dormitory where he would indulge in either more studying or the occasional movie or game night with Roman. It kept his mind focused and allowed very little time for him to dwell on unpleasant thoughts. 

Expectedly, his routine was shattered to pieces. Knowing Roman’s need to be spontaneous, he hadn’t expected it to take three months, but oh well.

“Let me get this straight-”

“Good luck with that!”, Roman had finger gunned back at Logan, who rubbed his temples like they could smooth out the stress that was building up by the second, “Let me be sure I understand you.”, he rephrased through gritted teeth, “You decided that, without my knowledge and completely throwing out any semblance of social etiquette, that you would not only invite your soulmate-”

“Boyfriend.”, Roman corrected, preferring that label for some reason. Logan rolled his eyes annoyedly.

“Your boyfriend, to come over and join in our game and or movie night and are just now telling me that I will simply have to, as you put it, ‘deal with it’?”

Logan watched Roman nervously rub the side of his neck, “Well, kind of.”

“Kind of? In what way has this ridiculous arrangement of yours changed to further inconvenience me?”, Logan snapped a little too viciously before he could catch himself. Roman was ready to answer him when a knock arrived at the door. Perhaps it was spite, perhaps it was to let the unwelcome guest know just how much he was intruding on Logan’s routine - though to be honest, Virgil was actually rather pleasant - either way, the enraged man stormed over to the door and hauled it open, “Greetings, make yourself-”

The words died in his throat.

The man standing at the door definitely wasn’t Virgil. Strawberry blonde hair, slightly sunkissed skin, round silver framed glasses, a baby blue polo and tan shorts… definitely not Virgil. Logan stared for probably a little too long before the young man spoke up,

“Um, are you okay? Logan, right? Virgil and Roman have told me about you!”, he held out a hand to shake Logan’s, his smile blinding, “I’m Patton!”

Logan ignored the tiny phantom emotion that poked at his soul and opted to step aside and let Patton in, “It’s nice to meet you, Patton. I apologise for my…. Aggressive demeanor.”, he admitted, ignoring Roman’s guilty glance to ask, “I was informed Virgil would be joining us?”

“Oh! He’ll be a little late,”, Patton sheepishly explained, “He’s uh, he’s still picking out a shirt to wear.”

Roman seemed all too eager as he valiantly proclaimed, “Then I shall go forth to my dark and stormy knight, and help him pick one out! Logan, be a good host for our dear friend Patton!”

Before either of the two could protest, Roman took off down the hallway. Logan sighed, “Please, make yourself at home, Patton. It may be up to an hour before they’re done.”

“An hour to pick a shirt?”, Patton looked so confused. Logan clapped a hand to his mouth. Oh this poor sweet innocent bean. He wasn’t sure what to do, but he needn’t have bothered as it appeared it had finally sunken in. “OH.” Patton flushed bright red, sitting on the sofa, mortified. Logan was stifling a chuckle so hard, he almost missed the foreign feeling of embarrassment growing within him. On a reflex, Logan tried to will the feeling away. His soulmate was dead, it must be his own embarrassment, therefore. It persisted for a moment until Logan was wrenched from his inner struggle by Patton, “Are you alright, Logan?”.

Ah, that’s right. He had company. Logan nodded and sat down next to Patton on the sofa. He would have sat on his own but he felt awkward doing so when it was just he and Patton alone. He didn’t want Pat to feel like he was avoiding him.

“I’m fine, Patton. Would you like me to play something on netflix?”, he offered, picking up the remote. 

Patton grinned mischievously, clearly about to make an awful joke. “Logan, are you asking me to netflix an-” “NO-!”, Logan’s face burned bright red, but he quickly rushed to reassure Patton as the shorter  man recoiled, “No, I mean, I’m not attempting to ‘netflix and chill’ with you. I’m-”

Patton stopped him, his expression unreadable for a second, “It’s alright! I understand, it was just a joke, I promise!”. Logan nodded, trying to power through the intense attraction he had begun to feel. It felt so odd being able to feel an emotion so strongly without his soulmate. Or perhaps…. Was he wrong? Had he been wrong the whole time? No. No, how could someone suppress intense emotions for almost three years now? He needed to stop betting against his logic just because an attractive man was staring at him.

…. Why was Patton staring at him?

“..... Do I have something on my face, Patton?”, Logan questioned. 

Patton bit his lip worriedly at first; apparently mulling over what he was going to say first, “This uh, might be a little bit personal to ask so soon, but...”, he paused, fiddling with his shirt, “Have you found your soulmate yet?”

Ah. Logan hadn’t anticipated that question, but he wasn’t surprised by it either. He eyed Patton for a moment, unsure as to whether he wanted to be fully honest with him. For some reason, Logan felt he could confide in Patton. 

“No. I haven’t. If I’m being entirely honest, I have reason to believe they may have...”, a deep breath, “...passed.”

The sorrow in Patton’s gaze could’ve put Logan in the ground with his soulmate. Such beautiful eyes shouldn’t be tainted by mourning. Before Logan could apologise, Patton took a sharp breath, meeting his gaze somewhat guiltily, “I… How can you be sure? Do you think...possibly... your soulmate might be alive?”. The insistence in Patton’s tone had Logan hoping he was right. Four years of convincing himself his soulmate was gone for good wouldn’t leave immediately, but for Patton, he wanted to indulge the idea.

“If they are, I owe them a rather lengthy apology.”

The young man in front of him tilted his head in confusion which prompted Logan to continue, he’d told him so much already, why not open up some more? “My soulmate was- is,”, he corrected, earning a petit smile of encouragement from Patton, “rather a happy soul. They’d burst into figurative fits of laughter and joy almost daily. As a result, I never made many friends. The other children found it bizarre, they treated me like an anomaly.”

He took a deep breath in. It took a second for Logan to take note of Patton’s hand resting over his; to encourage him, surely, nothing more… “I never paid my outcast status much heed, I..”

Patton leant slowly closer and Logan felt it again; that psychosomatic feeling of intense adoration. Or perhaps… “... I never realised how lonely I felt.”, Logan continued quietly, acutely aware of the emotions spreading within his chest as Patton’s fingers intertwined with his own, “Genuinely, I never thought about it, I was so content to just enjoy my happiest times for what they were. The first time I felt true happiness, I lay in my bed and I hoped. I hoped my soulmate could feel how happy I was, and I felt them.”. Logan was hit with a wave of overwhelming fondness mixing with his nerves. Patton looked so, so happy, but..

“... Then, I ruined everything.”, Logan continued somberly, attempting to slip his hand from Patton’s hold, but instead Patton held firm, anxious and eager to know what happened it seemed. “A few years after, I was sitting in science class when my soulmate felt this…. This unimaginable sadness. I couldn’t contain my tears, and no matter where I looked, my classmates were staring at me. Like I was even more of an oddity than they already thought me to be.”. While the feeling of deep affection flowered within his chest, Logan felt that same sadness sewing its seeds among the roots. Of all the times to potentially feel his soulmate’s emotions once more, that was the one thing Logan had never, ever, wanted to feel again.

“I lashed out, alone in the school’s bathroom.“, his hand slid free of Patton’s before the shorter man could react, threading itself in Logan’s dark hair as his anxiety grew, “I allowed my anger to warp my emotions and I lost control. My soulmate was-!”, his breathing hitched, “They were hurting! They were in pain, Patton! But I spent so long in that stall just, yelling such awful things-!”

As if he couldn’t further relive that same trauma, Logan hadn’t realised he was crying until Patton gently caressed the tears from his cheeks. He softly murmured, “It’s okay, keep going. Please. I think… I may need to hear this...”

Logan found that the words wouldn’t come. Perhaps he’d known since he laid eyes on Patton but was just so deep in denial that he convinced himself he couldn’t be so lucky. Perhaps he’d put it together when Patton’s reactions aligned with his twinges of emotion, but didn’t want to believe that he was facing the soulmate he’d so callously lashed out at in his time of need, and treated as though he had passed on to make himself feel better. Either way, Logan could no longer run from the facts; just looking into Patton’s beautiful eyes, those honey gold galaxies that complimented the deep cerulean of Logan’s own, he knew that Pat had already worked it out. With their close proximity, Logan rested his head on Patton’s shoulder, murmuring barely above a whisper,

“...Why?”, Logan’s dulcet tone came in softly, “Why were you crying that day? April 13th, almost four years ago...”

Patton’s voice was as gentle on his ears as his fingers threading through his hair, even as it sounded like his heart was breaking, “My cousin tried to kill themself.” Logan felt his heart shatter for good this time. He could barely stop his arms wrapping firmly around Patton as he reassured him. Reassured him. Like Logan had any right to be the one who needed comfort. “It’s alright, Logan, they’re okay! They’re fine now, but it was… I was really scared back then. I was the only one home at the time.”. Patton took a breath, “Like I said, they’re alright now. They’re married and everything-”

“I’m so sorry.”, Logan couldn’t hear it. No, he wouldn’t hear it. Patton was banned from reassuring him when Logan should be begging for Patton’s forgiveness instead. “You …. You needed me. And I repaid your cry for help with such anger. You were hurting, Patton!”, his hands gently held Patton’s soft cheeks in their palms, “You were hurting-! And I-!”

“You couldn’t have known, Logan-”

“I knew enough! I knew you were in pain, for goodness sakes, Patton, I could feel it! I couldn’t stop crying for almost a full hour! I felt the same fear and sorrow you felt, but I-!”

Patton gently pressed his delicate fingertips to Logan’s lips.

“And I repaid your attempt to apologise with spite.” 

Met with a confused expression, Patton continued, “I… Your anger did hurt me. I won’t lie to you, I could never lie to you. But I was so hurt, by the time I could feel your guilt, I… I’d resigned myself to stop feeling intense emotions ever again.”. The sad smile Patton presented made Logan wish magic existed, just so he could banish anything that made Patton sad to the dark recesses of space forever. 

“At first, it really was just... sheer spite. You weren’t the only hormonal teenage disaster, Logan.”

The curt laugh that dragged itself out of Logan was so jarring, he himself didn’t know where it had come from, but Patton was just so happy that he felt comfortable enough to do so, continuing on, “I was only going to stop for a week at most really, but I got too inside my own head. Maybe I am a burden. Maybe I am just causing him trouble with all my emotions. Maybe I should stop causing trouble and being such a nuisance. But if I’d-... If I’d known you thought that I was dead-! That you thought all this time you were alone I-”

Logan didn’t let him finish. Gently silencing Patton with a soft tap of fingertips to lips so soft they felt how Logan imagined an angel’s would feel, Logan softly leant forward to press his own lips to Patton’s. While Logan knew nothing he did could truly make up for the pain he caused Patton, the very least he could do was show that he very much needed no apologies from his soulmate. 

Their kiss was shorter than either would have liked - due to the interruption of their roommates walking in to find them lost in the moment - but Logan couldn’t say it wasn’t as perfect as he’d hoped it could be. 

Hours later, as another game night drew to a close with both Virgil and Patton spending the night with their respective soulmates, Logan held Patton closer as the shorter man curled into Logan’s body heat. 

As he brushed a loving hand through beautiful strawberry blonde curls and admired the sleeping face of the young man in his arms, Logan went to sleep that night feeling happier than he had in years..

------------

I’m ready for people to stab me for this one lmao.. @tsshipmonth2020

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