#but i’d rather stick to sharing only the photos :)
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runninguplenorahills · 2 years ago
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Saw Maya Hawke perform live today and it was absolutely magical ✨✨✨
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some of my favorite photos from today <3
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nownahc · 27 days ago
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tokens of appreciation | jww.
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exhibit three | read the interview?
▶• ılıılıılılıılıılı. welcome and goodbye by dream, ivory
chapter summary. y/n and anna celebrate y/n's achivement. our two main characters about to be mutuals? the magazines interviews are finally released... wait, is that a change of heart?
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WRITTEN PART UNDER THE PICTURES
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LOMOGRAPHY LABS
@/phowonu interview
Hello! Please introduce yourself to the Lomography community.
My name’s Jeon Wonwoo, I’m from Korea and I’m currently in my last year of college, in photography major.
How would you describe your photography style?
Like a lot of photographers, I’d say I lean more into the urban genre of photography. Buildings, subways, bribes of daily, mostly nightly life. I have a special liking to rgb lights, it reminds me of this cyberpunk aesthetic that I really love. Most of my pictures don’t really feature people in it but I have a reason for that. I don’t think I’m fit for portraits, or to photograph people in general. I feel like you have to have a special skill to fully grasp someone into a photograph so, I stick to inanimate objects for now.
How did you find out about the contest ? Why did you apply ?
My best friend told me about it. He begged me to apply but I kept on refusing, still, he applied for me. I’m not really mad he did though, first cause there’s no point in feeling this way, it’s done, and secondly because it’s far from being harmful. I’m really grateful to be honest, to see that he views my work as something worthy of being showed to the world and well, in this case published in a professional magazine. His opinion, and my loved ones in general matter a lot to me.
Tell us about the steps in your shoots ? Anything you’re picky about ?
Picky is the right word to define me, really. I tend to stay and think a lot before pushing the shutter button. Everything has to be to my liking. The lightning, the position, the angle, everything. I don’t see the point in taking a photo just for the sake of it. I want it to be beautiful and most of all to be worthy of being watched over and over again. I’m not really into the entire symbolism, meaning of art actually. I’d rather take pictures with striking lighting and good structures then a simple photograph of… something.
Which photo of yours is your favourite and why ?
I don’t have one. I don’t think I’ll ever have one, I’m really perfectionist and if I’m being honest, none of the photos I upload or take whatsoever, are good to me. I think I associate the concept of favourite with perfection and, as I don’t believer in perfection, I don’t believe in favourites either.
What are your personal hopes for the future of your photography?
To continue taking pictures I guess? I have no goals of being a professional, or being world wide known but, I think I like the recognition I get on a smaller scale. Maybe, in my subconscious, I hope I’ll find my favourite photo? I don’t know really.
From the other 3 contestants, which ones strike you the most ? Why ?
I went through the 3 contestants work before answering this. All are so different and totally not in the same universe at all but, if I had to pick one contestant that… stuck with me, it’d be y/n’s photographs. I’ll be honest here, at first I thought their work didn’t really belong in this magazine. They were nice family photographs to me but there was nothing… relevant about them right? After a few moments though, I had forgotten about the other’s photographs (sorry) and only theirs remained in my head. It made me rethink my vision of photography for awhile, it didn’t change it but, it made me think if you know what I mean. Because it looks like we’re on two very far spectrum of photography, it feels like our photographs are kinda… communicating in a way? Anyway, that’s my answer.
Lastly, is there anything you’d like to share with the Lomography community?
I don’t have enough of an ego to give advice or inspirational quotes but, I just want to thank everyone kind feedback I got from my entry in this magazine and most of all, I want to say thank you to my father, and Mingyu.
@/filmsbyyn interview
Hello! Please introduce yourself to the Lomography community.
Hi, I’m y/n l/n. I picked up photography thanks to my mom’s own liking to the art. There’s really not much to add about me. Oh, I have cat!
How would you describe your photography style?
A style? I don’t think it’s a style, many people take pictures like I do. I guess you could say I’m just an everyday style photography I guess?
How did you find out about the contest ? Why did you apply ?
My best friend, Anna just put the entry for me without telling me about it. I found out about it when I got tagged on Twitter, it was kind of funny actually, a very Anna move she pulled there. I love her, she’s my only and greatest friend, she’s the best really.
Tell us about the steps in your shoots ? Anything you’re picky about ?
There’s no steps really. I see something I want to cherish forever and I click.
Which photo of yours is your favourite and why ?
It might be stupid but, all of them. I shoot on a film camera and I like to think photographs as memories so I like to only shoot once and not multiple version of one moment. That’s why all of the photographs I take are dear to me, they’re a one time thing that’s now immortal on a piece of paper. I don’t take pictures because I think something is pretty, I take a picture because I want to remember this moment, because it means something. Wether it’s someone or a coin I found on the ground.
What are your personal hopes for the future of your photography?
That’s a tough question, I don’t really have any ‘hopes’ for my future photography, I don’t want to earn money nor recognition from it. The only thing I want maybe is to look back, once I’m old, on all the pictures I took and remember. That’s all I really hope for I guess.
From the other 3 contestants, which ones strike you the most ? Why ?
Jeon Wonwoo. You see, I live in a very small town so, seeing such city like photographs, with those lightnings and stuff, that caught my eyes. I really like the ‘vision’, if I can call it that, that he uses when taking pictures. It feels like it’s us looking through his lens, as if we had been there in the moment with him. It feels oddly intimate even though, there’s nothing personal (at least I think) about his pictures. Also, I always thought that taking pictures in a city setting would be more tricky because, there’s so much of it you know? So for him to find such cool place to shoot it is mesmerizing to me. It felt like he was the closest to my view on photography, among the other contestants I mean, closer to reality in a way?
Lastly, is there anything you’d like to share with the Lomography community?
I hope my nonchalance didn’t offend anyone, when I say what I say, I don’t look to belittle people who put efforts in their arts or those who thinks differently than me, on the contrary. I’m in deep admiration of photographer who puts their times, and skills in taking a picture, it’s majestic really, and maybe deep down, I wish I could do that too. Anyway, I hope everyone, in their own genre, style, and likes manage to make the art they always wanted to do!
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skeletorrito · 4 months ago
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new satosugu fluff snippet !!! I love these dorks as goofy teens haha
“It’s already your birthday next week, Satoru. What are you hoping to get?”
Satoru Gojo and Suguru Geto lounged in Suguru’s dorm, snacking on the dango that Satoru brought over to him. Suguru preferred to hang out in his room, rather than his teammate’s, because he didn’t have to watch his step tiptoeing over wrappers and cans on the floor. Even in their third year, Satoru still struggled to clean his own room after years and years of maids constantly picking up after him. Suguru tried to help, but Satoru was still a messy brat all the same.
Satoru chewed as he considered the question. “Honestly…” he swallowed. “I just wanna make out with somebody.” It was the only thing that came to mind and he just… blurted it out. He blushed as soon as it left his lips, shutting them tight in a weird smile. He could have just made up anything, literally anything other normal birthday gift, but realistically what else could he possibly need or want that he didn’t already have? 
“Oh,” Suguru coughed out in a laugh, wide-eyed with a shocked look on his face. That definitely wasn’t the answer he expected. 
There was a long pause followed by awkward laughter. Both boys flushed, gazes diverting anywhere but each other. 
“Do you… have someone in mind?” Suguru asked, attempting to hide the curiosity and desperation in his voice.  
“Yeah but…” Satoru started, scratching the back of his neck. Seriously, why couldn’t he just keep his big mouth shut?! It didn’t help that Suguru could sometimes, somehow with his social superpowers, tell when he was lying. “I’m not telling. You’ll have to guess.” 
Suguru put his hand to his chin. This was… new. They’d chatted about girls in passing, sharing photos and giggling, but never seriously. They didn’t have much time for that with missions and school, especially not in their third year. “Oh. I know. Mei Mei.”
Satoru snorted, replying, “Eh, she’s hot, but she’s not really my type.” 
Seriously, shut the fuck up.
This piqued Suguru’s interest. He smirked a little deviously, leaning in. “Oh? Satoru Gojo has a type?” He asked, pulling another dango off the stick with his teeth. 
You. You’re my type. 
“Oh you know…” Satoru trailed off for a moment, trying to figure out how to be as vague as possible with this answer. “Dark hair, dark eyes, skinny waist…” 
Satoru was really burying himself in a hole with this one. 
He flushed brightly, biting the inside of his cheek. He devoured the last dango stick in one bite, lest he expose himself anymore.
Suguru’s hopes were slightly dashed at that last part. Surely, Satoru was referring to a woman with that skinny waist comment. He checked all the boxes for sure, but… was being a man with a small waist even considered attractive? Was Satoru even interested in men? 
Would he even be interested in me in… that way?
“Hmm… Utahime?” 
Satoru pretended to vomit with that guess. “Ew, as if. She’s annoying.”
Suguru continued to mull it over when Satoru interjected quickly, “Ah, it’s stupid, just a joke anyway, really, forget about it. Let’s all go out to eat on my birthday, I’d never say no to some good food.”  
They dropped the subject and started discussing dinner plans for next Saturday, but Suguru couldn’t help but continue wondering. 
Who did Satoru want to kiss? 
Was it me? Could it ever be me?
No, that was crazy. That was a pipe dream. 
They were best friends. Best friends didn’t kiss, and making out was way out of the question. Maybe best friends played with each other’s hair or held hands sometimes, but a kiss? A kiss was taking it too far. 
A kiss would mean they were so much more than best friends. 
Read the rest here:
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theunsinkableship1 · 6 months ago
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So are you telling me there's a chance or not?
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DISCLAIMER: This is LUKOLALAND only. Do not read if you're not a shipper. This is only my point of view. No harm intended
Luke Newton is not only a talented actor, but also a genuinely kind person and a loyal friend, as confirmed by those who know him personally. He has done nothing to warrant shame that we know of, nor should he be the target of any malicious attacks. It’s deeply troubling and unacceptable when people make baseless assumptions and then use those assumptions to attack others.
Once again, his good pal Nicola Coughlan stepped in to show her support in a beautiful way. She posted a behind-the-scenes photo of the two of them from "Bridgerton" Season 3, where they’re seen sharing a moment filled with real joy and warmth on their faces. Nicola captioned the post with, "I thought I’d already shared this, but I hadn’t, so here you go now it’s all yours!" She also shared it on her Instagram story, adding, "With the loveliest pal a gal could have” with purple heart emoji and tagged Luke in it. Luke later liked the post on her grid.
Perhaps it’s just my Lukolaland mindset, but there seems to be something intriguing in her choice of words.
On the surface, the captions express a friendly gesture, as if Nicola is simply sharing a behind-the-scenes moment with her fans that she thought she had already posted. The use of the word “pal” is casual and affectionate, highlighting the close friendship between Nicola and Luke. The phrase "all yours" could suggest she is offering this moment to her followers, making it seem like a casual sharing of content.
The timing of this post is significant. It could be related to them reprising their roles for the new season but certainly comes amidst negativity surrounding Luke, this is therefore Nicola’s subtle way of showing support and solidarity, reminding everyone of their strong bond.
Her choice of words, however, may carry more depth:
"I thought I’d already shared this, but I hadn’t...":
This could suggest that Nicola had been holding onto this moment, perhaps with intention. The idea of "thinking" she shared it but realizing she hadn't might hint at a more calculated decision to share it now, It hints at the possibility that this wasn’t just an accidental omission but rather something she chose to hold back until now, and in sharing it, she’s making a deliberate statement. It’s as if she’s saying that this is something she had kept to herself, but now she’s ready to make it known.
By saying, “but I hadn’t...,” It suggests a sense of realization or a decision to finally share something that matters to her, making their bond more visible. A poor translation could be: "In case you didn’t get it the first time, here it is” It’s almost as if Nicola is saying, “I should have done this earlier,”
"So here you go, now it’s all yours!":
 The phrase "now it’s all yours" might suggest that this is not just a personal gesture between friends, but something she wants to offer to the public as well, a statement to her followers or the broader community. This could also imply that by sharing this now, she’s putting an end to something perhaps to rumors or negative talk by showing the closeness and happiness between them.
"With the loveliest pal a gal could have":
On the surface, calling Luke her “pal” could be downplaying any romantic undertones, while still emphasizing the importance of their relationship. Nicola could have simply referred to Luke as her "pal," which would have sufficed in describing a close friendship. Sticking to "pal" would have kept the meaning simple and unambiguous. By choosing "pal a gal," it might only be a play on words but it introduces a duality; that phrase adds layers of meaning and implication, making it more than just a casual reference to friendship.
Pal" and "gal" are almost mirror images of each other, which could simply be seen as playful language.
But in this context, it can also carry an undertone of something more profound, or it could be a subtle jab or an inside joke.
This phrasing creates a sense of camaraderie and closeness that goes beyond mere friendship, giving it a more personal and endearing touch. By including "gal," she not only personalizes the sentiment but also subtly acknowledges the gender dynamic in their relationship. The added phrase "a gal" brings a warmth and familiarity to the relationship, hinting at a connection that could be deeper or more complex than what is outwardly shown. It’s a subtle but significant choice that invites curiosity.
The addition of a purple heart emoji to Nicola Coughlan's caption can carry several layers of meaning, especially in the context of her public post about Luke Newton:
The purple heart emoji is often used to symbolize deep friendship, loyalty, and strong bonds between people. The purple heart can also be seen as a symbol of support and solidarity, this emoji could subtly suggest romantic undertones between her and Luke without being overtly direct. The use of this emoji is often associated with affection that is more nuanced more than just friendly, but not as openly romantic as a red heart.
Purple heart also, could signify forbidden love for romantic prospects.
In conclusion, this is still a mixed message, Nicola’s post is more than just a simple social media update. It’s a nuanced and deliberate gesture that conveys her strong support for her good pal Luke, making it clear where her loyalties lie. The real nature of their relationship remains unclear for me, her post creates ambiguity through a combination of playful language, affectionate imagery, and subtle word choices.
The message suggests that the relationship is still sailing steadily, even if they're not quite at the destination yet. Things might be complicated and the waters rough, but the horizon is promising. The belief is that they’ll reach their destination. Today’s post is more evidence that they’re on the right course rather than a reason to doubt. As I’ve said before, it would take a foundering or a relegation for me to abandon this ship. Until then, I remain a loyal crewmember.
Just because she’s calling him a pal now doesn’t mean he won’t be promoted to something more later. After all, friendship is the best foundation for love, they could go from pals to lovers. Hopefully sooner than later.
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redsunsetxiii · 1 year ago
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**Please do not repost without credit** [TRANS] 2023.10.31 SONE NOTE LIVE vol 45 with Taeyeon
Staff: You tried making neon signs this time! You thought of the design beforehand, but please share the motifs and the reasons for your design.
Taeyeon: I made it as a present for my mother. She loves drinking and is great at cooking, so sometimes inviting her friends over to have a drink is a fun way to spend her time. That’s why the sign I made is called “Heezakaya”, a mix of my mother’s name “Hee-ja” and “izakaya”*! I think my mother will definitely be overjoyed with this as a present! *TL note: Japanese style bar I don’t drink, so when it’s me and her, I can only be her side dish (laughs). I’m the side dish who’s always talking (laughs).  As for the design, I had two ideas and showed them to my mother beforehand, but she took too long to decide so in the end I went with the design I liked. But when I started working on it, she got back to me and liked the idea that I didn’t choose… (laughs) Can’t be helped!
Staff: How was the activity?
Taeyeon: Neon signs are something that you often see everyday, but this kind of experience was a first for me. It was really fun, but it was actually a bit scary at first. The neon signs I’ve seen are large billboards, so I was a bit uneasy if this could be a dangerous task. Like it’d be scary to get an electric shock (laughs). When I was a kid, I touched a neon sign and felt a shock. But I was relieved that the ones for today use batteries (laughs). They were so cute, all miniature like. If I get used to the work process, I think it would be a perfect present for someone! There’s a lot of work to bend it into the design and adjusting the amount of strength is important, but I believe that someone who is good with their hands will get accustomed to it quickly!
Staff: Please share what you were the most particular about during the creation process.
Taeyeon: I was particular with the color choice. I wanted the color for the name to be vividly seen. I wanted the design to match wine, so I wanted to have it be wine colored, but there was a limited selection of colors, so I went with a cute pink. I think it really suits my mother’s name and it’s a color that I really thought carefully over.  Also, I got help from the instructor while working on it, but making the characters was difficult due to the many bent parts. There’s wire inside the neon tubes, so bending it needed more strength than I thought. I thought that it was easy to make once I got used to where to bend the tube and calculate what length tube is needed for which part.  Finally, the glue easily got on my fingers, so I worked while watching out for that! It was instant glue so it would immediately stick (laughs).
Staff: How many points out of 100 would you give your work? Please share a reason for your scoring as well.
Taeyeon: Around 40 points. It was my first time making it and I’m hard on myself (laughs).
Staff: If you were to display the neon sign you made, which room would you recommend? Please share why as well.
Taeyeon: “Senses” is a keyword for neon lights. Many photos on social media have a very emotive atmosphere. It also functions as a light for atmosphere, so it might be great to display it in a room with a vintage feel. If I was to make a neon light for my own room, I’d design a symbolic picture rather than characters. I think I would use it as a light at night, so I want to have it as a moon or star! A night sky that you can enjoy in your room would be amazing, right? ^^
Staff: Your solo concert in 3 years, “TAEYEON CONCERT -The ODD Of LOVE” was held in Tokyo. It’s been 4 years since your solo concert in Japan, but how was it looking back? 
Taeyeon: The Japan concerts had great acoustics and my condition was very good. I’m the type to be easily influenced by my surroundings, so I was satisfied with everything in such a splendid environment. The staff were very kind and attentive, and in my best condition and the best environment… That was the most memorable. It was my first Japanese concert in a long time, and without a doubt the concerts held a lot of meaning for me even if I only had one concert, but I was so very thankful that my second concert date was sold out. The band was really great too… Ah, come to think of it, the Japanese fans changed a bit. They were a bit more lively, or rather, more proactive (laughs). Before they were really quiet! I’m happy that they listened so earnestly, but I was delighted that I could really hear their cheers this time. They called out my name and I was happy that they seemed to enjoy the loose atmosphere♡
Staff: You went to 8 cities in Asia for your solo concert. Please share if you have a memorable episode from your Asia tour.
Taeyeon: I just ate bananas (laughs). The setlist for this tour really required endurance, but it was hard since I didn't eat a lot and lacked stamina. I had to keep replenishing my energy and bananas especially helped. Eating just one really filled me up, so they were indispensable during the tour! I ate bananas from a lot of countries (laughs). I of course ate bananas in Japan! They were delicious!
Staff: Traveling for long hours during your tour would make it easy to get tired, but please share if you have a routine for relieving fatigue. 
Taeyeon: I take frequent half body baths. Rather than taking them before bed, I usually do it right after I wake up in the morning. I like starting my day with them. I also do a lot of self massage. Loosening up my neck muscles by gently massaging them can relax my vocal cords. I reduce mental stress by watching movies and dramas on my tablet. Ah, in Japan I really like to go to the convenience stores at night. I usually buy gummies (laughs). 
Staff: This SONE NOTE LIVE will be released in October. In Japan, autumn is a season with various appeals such as for art, food, and sports. What kind of season is autumn for you?
Taeyeon: Recently there are many hot days and autumn is so short that it can’t even be called autumn. I wonder what kind of season it is. It’s a season for the senses, so I guess it’s a season to listen to my songs (laughs). I have a lot of songs with bands and many of the lyrics are also emotional, so I think they really suit the cooler season. Autumn is really short, so it’s important to listen to it during this time!
Staff: Finally a message for SONE JAPAN!
Taeyeon: This tour reminded me that you’ve always supported me, so thank you so much. Please invite me! So that I can perform in Japan again! I want to see you all! 
Translation by RedSunsetXIII source: SONE JAPAN website **Please do not repost without credit**
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moorwood · 1 year ago
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im going to become a pest in your inbox now that you’ve invited me into your home by accepting my kiss request. anyways can you share world trade center facts with me please i want to hear about them so so bad
You sent this way back in April so I’m not sure if you’ll see it, but I’m finally answering on skyscraper day! 🎉
I’m limiting it to three things I want to share since I could probably go on forever lol
1. Minoru Yamasaki
Mr. Yamasaki is the architect that designed the WTC complex. He was Japanese-American and was born in Seattle. The twin towers were the most intricate and biggest structures he ever designed; before the Port Authority of NY + NJ proposed the project to him, he’d never designed a skyscraper before.
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[ ID: A black and white photo of architect Minoru Yamasaki from 1959. He is a Japanese man with short hair combed back to the side. He is wearing a suit and tie. Yamasaki is looking at the camera with a smile. There is a small note in the upper right corner of the photo with, “Minoru Yamasaki, 37” written on it. End ID ]
Two of his other notable works in the US are/were Pruitt-Igoe (urban housing projects in St. Louis) and the Pacific Science Center (in Seattle).
He was given rather good acclaim in his early days but the WTC was a project that turned off a lot of dedicated fans and critics. Their criticisms usually had to do with the WTC losing a sense of humanism his other work offered or claiming that his usual aesthetic and design motifs didn’t work on something so large.
The WTC received a lot of criticism even beyond architectural circles for a good few reasons but Yamasaki really wanted his most ambitious project to be successful. He actually made a several-page long response to an article criticising the towers written by a long time fan, trying to convince her that the project wasn’t what she thought it was and giving his perspective.
He passed in 1986 so he definitely didn’t see what became of it all. But I often wonder how he felt about the gradual change in attitude towards the towers specifically in NYC as time went on. Some people held negative feelings towards the towers even after they collapsed, though.
2. Window Washers
Minoru Yamasaki was a pretty short guy, and he had a pretty big fear of heights. So when it came to designing two towers with 90+ floors each, he made the windows in a way that he thought would make everyone inside comfortable. They were tall and thin, measuring a bit higher than the average person. Each floor was about an acre in size, and that led to there being 43,600 windows between the towers on all sides.
So they came up with a mechanical window washer that could clean every window in 20 days. People would still have to go out on the sides of the towers hundreds of feet in the air for maintenance, but most of the process was automated. I’d imagine it was something considered pretty inventive in the 60s/70s. I wish I had photos of it.
3. Tower Differences
The towers were not the same height! WTC 1 (North tower) was 1368 ft tall, while WTC 2 (South tower) was 1362 ft. However, it wasn’t very noticeable since it’s only a few feet in difference and they both had 110 floors anyway. The reason for the difference was WTC 1 contained an office floor for the Port Authority that had higher ceilings.
WTC 1 also had a ~360 ft tall antenna on the roof. It was primarily for broadcasting; upon being built, the WTC inherited the Empire State Building’s power over all the TV channels in the city. To put the height into perspective, you could fit the Flatiron Building (285 ft) on top of the roof and then some.
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[ ID: A picture of the roof of the North tower of the World Trade Center. There is a large mast in the middle, sticking straight up into the sky. The antenna/mast is sectioned into various smaller parts of black and white. There are also much smaller antennas scattered around the roof, looking like twigs compared to the central mast. The landscape is covered in a thick, pinkish fog, but the Statue of Liberty can be seen silhouetted in the background. End ID ]
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[ ID: A bird’s eye view photo of the Flatiron Building in Manhattan, New York City. It is a wedge-shaped building with a roof and foundation shaped like a scalene triangle. It is surrounded by two streets, both of which you can see cars and people moving about. They look small in comparison to the old skyscraper. End ID ]
Lastly, WTC 1 had a critically acclaimed restaurant on the top floors known as Windows on the World. It ran from 1976 up until the very end. Look up pictures of the interior, there’s so many nice ones that I can’t choose. Very pretty.
WTC 2 had an observation floor and deck! The floor contained small restaurants (one I can name off the top of my head is Sbarro), stores, and a mini theatre with a motion platform ride inside (the short film it went along with can be found fully remastered here!)
There was gonna be more to this post but I ran out of juice so hopefully this piques interest as it is. I am always open to questions about the WTC, it’s been a main special interest and important part of my life since 2019 and I always love sharing what I know. It bothers me that so many people see the towers and only see their destruction, not the life that came before it.
Now, a book recommendation. I highly recommend Sandfuture by Justin Beal. It’s part biography about Yamasaki, part autobiography about the author. But there’s a lot of information about the towers and how they came to be, including an interesting parallel/critique of modern skyscrapers in NYC. I’d love to know if anyone reads it :-)
Anyway, happy skyscraper day. Thank you for the opportunity to ramble a little ✌️
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[ ID: A photograph of two businessmen in black suits conversing on one of the towers’ lobby floors. They are inside by a railing; large, shiny steel beams that split off into fork-like tridents high above them line the windows on the outside. They are very small in comparison to the tridents. End ID ]
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jodilin65 · 8 months ago
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I hate being in the mood to write but not having much to write about, so I'll have to think of whatever little things I can. I do have an appointment on the 13th, so I might not blog for a day or two before that to have things to write about on the road.
I know I already said this, but I can't wait for my new VR lenses because everything has gotten so blurry I can barely make out street signs when I'm on the road. I've lost track of all the towns I've been through, but I'm heading for Syracuse. My rank is now up to 105 and under 200 on LJ, interestingly enough. I can't really tell my visitors because I don't think I have that blog coded right now.
My-diary is another place I can be reached anonymously (if you create an account in a bogus name) since I have no means of tracking there. Just thought I would throw that out there.
I've always been big on being honest, real, and blunt, and I still am, but I realize that on the Internet, you can be anyone you want to be, and sometimes that really is okay. It's been quite a while, but even I’ve made bogus PB accounts in the past to throw stories on to get an unbiased audience's feedback, being as curious as I am. So I think it's okay to a degree, as long as people don't take it too far. I get the need for unbiased interactions at times, but at the same time, people want to see the real you. So I think it's good to have a healthy, reasonable mix of anonymity and transparency. I even once considered “starting fresh” and befriending Aly from a bogus account.
Twitter has totally gone to hell since Musk took over. I only keep the account because it makes a good photo dump, and it's my only connection to Aly other than our old WhatsApp and Skype chats. To be honest, I'm curious to see how long her account sticks around. I noticed that if I find an interesting picture on Facebook I want to share in an email, I can't copy and paste it directly from Facebook to an email, so I drop it on Twitter and then I can copy and paste from there. Otherwise, it really sucks because you can no longer complain to support about the things that annoy you—not that it did any good in the past, but at least you still had a way to do it. Now you don't.
Someone recently asked themselves why their brain makes up stories, and I can ask myself the same thing. It's mostly when I'm lying down relaxing or unwinding for bed. Sometimes I'll imagine myself in scenarios that I’d either like to see happen or that are totally off the wall and I can't ever imagine them happening. Or sometimes they'll involve people I've seen or don't know at all who are completely random and fictitious people at times. I guess that's just the creative imagination in me. It's where I often get story ideas, along with dreams.
Now that I'm not so focused on editing anymore, I'm going to try to get my creative juices flowing again and resume working on the last story I was working on. I know I could go back and improve old stuff, but I think I'd rather start with fresh stuff or at least stuff that's a lot newer. I don't know that I'll write stories as much as I used to, but I'm going to go over my manuscript soon. I also don't know if I’ll share it or not. I'm mostly writing it for me. If I do share, I understand that the mystery/suspense genre isn't for everyone, so no one's obligated to read it.
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southeastasiadiary · 1 year ago
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Day Eighteen: Repositioning #3
A quiet day, which was actually quite welcome and relaxing after several very busy days in Siem Reap. The sole point of today was getting a late afternoon flight from Cambodia to Laos, where I’ll be based in Luang Prabang for the next few days. And so, since I don’t have many photos from today to share, let me insert this one rather randomly. It was a lovely little shrine set up in a remote corner of my hotel in Siem Reap that I just happened to chance upon while heading to the restroom:
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The week in Cambodia gave me time to reflect on how the things we take for granted are often not taken for granted by people in other parts of the world. My guides in Cambodia had either lived through the Khmer Rouge years or had parents who did. They seemed to take genocide of that sort almost in stride, as they took for granted having to go to the market every morning at dawn because they didn’t have refrigerators. I was asked, during a conversation about spirit houses, whether people have them in the US. How exactly do you explain that something so common in one country is all but non-existent in your own?
And then there were exchanges like this one I had yesterday on the boat ride into Tonle Sap Lake.
GUIDE: Do you like snake soup?
ME: I don’t know. I’ve never tried it. I’m not sure I’d like the idea of eating snake.
GUIDE: Oh, but it’s the best! Better than chicken!
ME: What kind of snakes do they use in snake soup?
GUIDE: Cobras, mostly.
ME: Really? They sell cobra meat at the market?
GUIDE: What? No, you catch the cobras yourself.
ME: Really?
GUIDE: It’s not hard, particularly at this time of year. In the rainy season, the cobras climb up into the tree. You knock them down with a stick and beat them to death.
ME: I’m not going to try that. [A PAUSE OF SEVERAL SECONDS.] Wait. You mean there might be cobras in those trees we’re seeing right now?
GUIDE: Probably.
ME: Good grief. I’m sort of glad you didn’t tell me that earlier.
GUIDE: Oh, if I’d have seen one, I would’ve told you. Don’t worry. Besides, it’s not the cobras you have to worry about. It’s the crocodiles. They also come up on land during the rainy season. People sometimes find them in their homes.
Mind you, all of this was said with the same tone of voice I might use to say, “People sometimes find flies in their home.”
And it got me thinking: cobras, crocodiles, and lotus everywhere. I’m almost five thousand miles from Egypt, and yet there are so many striking similarities, even down to the reverence given to ancestors.
The flight from Siem Reap to Luang Prabang was very fast and very smooth. It was a fairly large jet but only thirty passengers were on board, so I had an entire row to myself. (I was a bit nervous when I checked in and was told, “I’d give you a better seat in the front of the plane, but there are so few passengers today that we have to assign seats in such a way as to balance the weight.” Apparently, I was enough ballast for an entire row.)
I’d had both my Vietnam and Cambodia visas in advance, so Laos was the first country where I’d need to apply for a visa on arrival. I was a bit nervous about that, too, but it actually went very quickly, assembly-line style as you get passed from one station to the next.
I met my guide, Mr. Vong, outside the gate, and together we made the quick ride to the hotel. We decided that, since tomorrow would be quite a busy day, we’d delay witnessing the 5:00 a.m. alms-giving ceremony to the following day. So, I actually get to sleep in a bit tomorrow.
The hotel calls itself a “boutique” hotel, and it’s easy to see why. There are very few guests, but everything about the accommodations is really quite lovely. Mr. Vong gave me what looks like a terrific guide book on Luang Prabang, so I’m going to read part of that tonight. And when I need a change of pace, there’s another interesting feature in the room. American hotels have the Gideon Society; the local equivalent has placed this book in each room:
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luimagines · 4 years ago
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Hi! I have a request, but first i wanna say your writing is absolutely amazing! The length + amount of time you put into these prompts is insanely good. Now! Onto the request, how would the boys react to a reader from a more modern era? Maybe a more modernized hyrule or our current point in time?
Masterlist
Thank you so much for the compliment! I'm happy to see the response even if this blog is still relatively new.
I hope I do your prompt justice.
I probably could have done a headcanon list but I was hit with inspiration.
I also might have given Reader some backstory.
Scenario below the cut! It’s long, take caution.
It was a cool night, but you didn't mind. Your bed was warm, the WiFi was fast and even if it was three AM on a school night, you managed to keep yourself giggling with cat videos and blursed memes until the words and colors merged.
A night well spent.
But it led to questionable decisions.
Even if the shredded cheese in the fridge was beginning to seem a more and more enticing snack, your body was tempted to succumb to slumber.
Until a large purple light encompassed the entirety of your window.
Something was in your backyard.
Aliens. Your tired brain supplies and you sprint to the glass and push away the curtains. Is this it? Is this where I'm kidnapped and never seen or heard from again?
You pull out your phone and open up the camera.
"Pics or it didn't happen." You remind yourself and snap a few before showing your face.
What you see isn't what you're expecting. Instead of a flying saucer in the sky beaming down a laser or a weird pear shaped space craft on top of the grass, there's a single panel of glowing light, swirling with black accents that creeps in a circular motion.
"Cheese and crackers...." You gasp and begin to blatantly stare at it with no regard to whether something may be coming out of it.
You wait and nothing happens.
You wait some more and nothing happens.
You spend an hour watching this portal that has appeared out of nowhere, waiting for something to happen, willing for something to happen. But you get nothing.
The unknown stares right back at you, unblinking and unchanged.
Go through it. A voice tells you. What if there's something on the other side?
"I'm going to die." You gulp and take a deep breath.
Who else gets a chance like this? The voice talks again. This could be a grand step towards a more modern society. A whole new world could be on the other side, waiting, reaching out, calling to humanity!
You think you a see a shadow move behind the portal and out of sight but it’s gone before you can even process it.
"Should I call the police?" You step away from the window, ignoring the thoughts, the voice- you're too tired to know if it's your own any more. What's the plan? How does one go about something like this?
Where’s your sense of adventure? Pack a bag and go! What if it goes away?
That last thought seems to get through to your tired brain and for a reason beyond your understanding, it latches onto it.
Now you’re excited.
You run to the closet and take out your old backpack. It used to be for school but it was fancier since it was the only one you could get. The bag had a replaceable water bag with a plastic straw connected through the back of it and the straps have just worn down enough to where they’re actually comfortable. It doubled as a hiking backpack and came with its own insulated lunch box that clasped on the back of it.
It’ll finally serve its purpose.
You quickly roll up your favorite blanket and strap it in tightly beneath the lunch box. You’re quick to take out two extra outfits and pack them as well as change out of your pajamas.
Ok. What would you need? You don’t know where you’d be going so this has to a catch all kind of deal.
You pack away your swiss army knife first for good measure. A solar powered charger for your phone and an extra pair of socks follow suit even after you’ve picked out the extra clothes.
You take out the water bag and run to fill it all the way to max capacity as you think of any other necessities.
You’d need food. You have a small jar of peanut butter and granola bars that can fit in the lunch box. You can bring your extra water bottle and put in the side pockets of the backpack, and maybe bring some of those powered flavor packets your brother loves so much. You think he has lemonade and some green tea ones.
Those would be great. He won’t mind, hopefully.
You let the bag overfill momentarily before running back to shove it in your bag. with the lid screwed tight.
Next you run to the kitchen, grabbing the first things that you thought of already and begin to look around for more.
You grab an unopened pack of beef jerky, a bag of veggie sticks and a half eaten bag of dried mangos.
During your search you grab the water bottle and fill that too.
You return to your room with your bounty and begin to carefully put everything in the box. With some more deliberation, you run back to the kitchen and make yourself a quick sandwich, eat it, make another one and pack that as well.
You look out side the window and the portal is still there.
The sun is beginning to rise now so you’re trying to go as fast as you can, unless you want to neighbors to think something is going on.
Even if it is.
You’re about to leave but in a stroke of brilliance, you run to pack sunscreen and bug spray as well. You see a small first aid pack that was bought recently for when you would take your family vacation but you reason that it might one of the most important things you’d have if you got hurt.
Into the bag it goes.
You grab your hoodie before you leave the door, wrap it around your waist and pocket your phone, your headphones and your wallet.
You feel immediately under packed when you step outside and see the portal up close.
It’s weirdly triangle shaped, you think and step closer.
You reach your hand out and try to touch it. It feels as if you put your hand through a humidifier but it’s not wet. It’s misty and cold but not necessarily unpleasant.
An idea hits you right before you take your first step through.
You pull up one of the earlier photo’s you took and send it to your friend’s group chat. It showed up in my backyard. I decided to make a bad late night decision and I’m going through. If you never hear from me again, I want you all to fight over my electronics. Winner takes all. Godspeed.
And you step through.
You had first assumed that it would merely take you tot he other side but very quickly realize that you have to walk through it.
The first part still had a little light but with time, it got darker. So dark that you couldn’t even see your hand in front of your face.
You kept walking.
As fast as the light disappeared, it came back and you stepped into the light of an open field, right in front of one, two, three, four, nine males that had appeared to be traveling towards you or rather, towards the portal.
The portal disappears in the process.
“Oh so we didn’t have to go through it! We had to gain another member!” One of them yells. “Would have been nice to know before we packed everything up!”
“Ho boy, where am I?” You ask and tighten your grip on your backpack. Why didn’t I bring a weapon?
They all had long tunics and swords on their backs. Old fashioned leather boots and hand bracers were the norm in this group and you realized very quickly that your jeans and t-shirt had wildly missed the memo.
“Dang, I didn’t think I’d walk into a LARP group. Sorry about that.” You sheepishly smile. “I had no idea where the portal was going to take me. But if you would be so kind-”
“Wait, what’s LARP?” One of them speaks up. He was a dirty blond and somewhere in the middle of the group height wise. He wore a white cape like thing with blue designs on the back but you didn’t recognize the symbol.
“Live Action Role Play?” You tilt your head. “It’s why you’re all dressed like that? Right?”
“This is just our clothes.” What appears to be the youngest bounces up to you. “What are you wearing?”
“First I could grab in my closet.” You admit and look down on it. It’s one of your comfiest shirts and best looking pants. You’re a little proud of yourself for finding those in the dark.
“Weird.”
“We’re heroes. We’re all named Link.” Cape guy speaks up again. “Is it safe to assume that you’re in the same boat?”
“Heroes?” Your eyebrows furrow together. “I’m not a hero and my name’s not Link.”
You’re quick to tell them your name and you watch as the confusion covers their faces. “My brother’s name is Link though if that helps anything.”
“Oh we needed him!” The youngest groans and it instantly irks you.
“What would you need with a five year old?” You deadpan and cross your arms. 
The information stuns the group.
“The portal showed up in the middle of the night and I’m the one that went through it. I’m pretty sure I was the only awake to even see it. Are you telling me that it was for my little brother?” You’d be lying if you said that you weren’t a little pissed. “My baby brother was supposed to go through it? He was asleep! He’s five. What kind of logic is that?!”
“Well...” The biggest and oldest of them runs a hand over his face. You think he has some cool tattoos and sick scar going across his eye but he looks about as angry as you feel, so you don’t say anything. “It appears the gods truly do not care for the hero’s maturity, only his existence.”
“Ok...What’s with all this hero talk?” You bite back. “What did... Where am I?”
“Hyrule.” The second with cool face tattoos speaks up. He’s got a large fur pelt around his shoulders and you have to tighten your grip against your backpack again to keep from reaching out to touch it.
Even so you feel yourself deadpan even more. “Hyrule? Like the ancient empire? The one that collapsed more than two thousand years ago? That Hyrule?”
You’re inclined to not believe them and write all of them off as crazy... but you also walked through a portal. And your grandma did say that magic existed in the strangest forms.
They all share looks of concern and some begin to murmur quietly amongst themselves but you’re too far gone to even notice.
“Did I time travel?” The idea hits you like a bus and you feel your eyes widen as you stare beyond the group. You quickly take our your phone and unlock it.
No signal.
“Is that a type of Sheikah slate?” Someone asks you.
“I don’t know what that is.” You reply automatically. “Wait, hold on, what year is it?”
“Why don’t you tell us what year you’re from and we can start from there?” The darkest brunette of the group speaks up.
“202x PC” You say robotically, not really processing the world around you anymore.
“That’s...” The blond with a long blue scarf speaks up with a slight hiss. “...Beyond any of our timelines. You see, we all come from different worlds and eras of Hyrule’s history.”
“I don’t think you’re the farthest down anymore, Wild.”
“This would then make them my successor, right?”
“It would make their brother your successor.” Someone amends. “I think they just jumped in his place.”
“Leave my brother alone.” You snap back into the present, pocketing your [hone again. “Ok, you know what, screw it. I don’t know what you’d want my brother for but I’m here now. I’d gladly take his place if it means he gets to stay home!”
“Hey.” A boy with pink hair stalks up to you looking a little more serious than you’d like.
“Nice hair dude, way to defy the gender norms.” You smirk a little before genuinely grinning, hoping to quell the tension. “What product do you use? It looks like Artic Fox but not every place sells their brand.”
“...I have no idea what you’re talking about but what happened to Ganon in your world? How have you been handling it?” He snaps and places his hands on his hips.
“Ganon? Like my old principle? That’s a name I haven’t heard in forever.” You’re confused again. “Last I heard he joined the police force only to be reassigned out of state. I don’t know what’s happening with him. Kinda hope he gets fired though. He’s not a bad guy but he’s not someone you’d want in that kind of position of power, you know.”
“Police force?”
You blinked and look them all over. They look very medieval. “Oh... You don’t have that...”
You begin to think about your history lessons and what they might be familiar with if they’re telling the truth about being from Hyrule.
“Ya’ll got knights?”
Many, almost all of them nod, a few with face of despair already on them before you finish speaking.
“It’s kind of like that. Mixed with a towns guard position... kinda. They enforce laws... at least they’re supposed to but the whole system is flawed and racist and really needs to be dismantled for the abuse of power that they have-”
“Abuse? Of power?” You have their attention again.
“It’s stupid and it won’t really make any sense if I try to explain because I doubt you have anything similar but it’s basically a group of people given the right to treat the public in anyway they like for their own benefit because they have no one telling them that they can’t.” You groan and slowly begin to feel your lack of sleep catch up to you. 
You slowly reach to behind you and sit down on the dirt, looking at all of them. “Mr. Dragmire wasn’t like...Demise or anything but he was a huge jerk. No one liked him. He liked me though. I remember that. I was the envy of the whole school because I somehow got on his good side while everyone else wants to strangle him. I think he was transferred for some misdemeanor or something like that... like he might have been throwing hands with someone he wasn’t supposed to. I never heard all the details. I didn’t really care for it when it happened either. I’m pretty sure he lost that fight though. The dude looked like a blast of wind could have knocked him over let alone someone’s knuckle sandwich.”
“I would love to hear more about this.” The youngest sits next to you with a large grin on his face. His eyes are bright and his body language reminds you of your cousin Zelda. You instantly think they’d get along like a house on fire. “What are your monsters like?”
“Monsters?” You tilt your head. “Be a little more specific bud, it depends on where you’re from.”
“You have that many?!”
“It depends on if you believe they’re real or not.”
“Speaking of monsters, can you fight?” The shortest walks up to you. You like that his tunic is stitched up with multiple colors and designs. It gives it personality, you think. “Do you have a weapon you’re more comfortable with?”
The question throws you off your rhythm and you don’t fight your wince. “What would happen if I say that I do not, in fact, have any sort of weapon on me?”
“I wouldn’t believe you.” Pink guy speaks up again. “That pack is huge, there has to be something in there.”
“It’s food, water and extra clothes my guy.” You lean back against said backpack since it won’t let you lay down with it still on. “Not a lot of space for anything else. I’m pretty good at hand to hand combat though. Karate’s a good way to fight out stress.” 
“Your bag’s not magic?”
“Why the hell would it be magic? ...Are you trying to tell me magic actually exists?” You raise an eyebrow as your eyes begin to close against your will. “I know my grandma said it does but I thought she meant like fairies and shadow demons.. and bigfoot. Can’t forget him, he’s the real MVP... You know...Children’s bedtime stories and stuff like that, it’s not real. But like magic magic? Magic items and the like? Find me Tinkerbell and I’ll show you Neverland, that’s what I say.”
“Are you serious?”
“Second star to the right, straight on till morning.” You respond.
There’s a moment of silence as the group in front of you processes your words. It’s hard to tell their reaction since you’re not looking at them but you no longer have the energy to do anything else.
“Are you falling asleep right now?” It’s the one they called Wild.
“I...” You try to open your eyes. They don’t budge. “I haven’t slept in nearly 20 hours... I think. I might have past 24 hours a while ago actually. Portal showed up at like four in the morning... I had to get up at six and I didn’t sleep at all before then.”
More silence.
“Great another one.” Someone scoffs.
You snort.
“Why did we pack up camp again?”
“No one kill me.” You say right before you lose consciousness. “Please and thank you.”
“They’re doomed.”
“Have some faith Vet. They stepped in for their little brother. That has to mean something?”
“They’re in for a rude awakening, and that’s all I have to say about it.”
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papergirllife · 4 years ago
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First Love
Lucas Wong / Yukhei
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"They say first love is a special experience that one would always hold a special place in your heart. Wong Yukhei was your first love in high school, but along the way, you had to say goodbye to him in order for him to achieve his dream of becoming a star in Korea. Yet fate and destiny plays its role in paving the two of you an intersection once more, will the two of you and up together at the very end?"
Warnings : smut, unprotected sex, mild angst, a child (pregnancy not described), tooth rotting fluff (all in that order, kinda)
A/N : this is one of my most heavily devoted works I've ever written, so please, of you're comfortable, drop a feedback to tell me if you guys like this writing style, thank you!
Lucas Wong of NCT and most importantly his own fixed unit, Wayv, the man who garners attention and love wherever he goes, that dazzling smile is sure to be captured by numerous cameras of awaiting fans.
But to you, Lucas was never Lucas, to you he was Yukhei, and more significantly, your ex from high school. Yukhei was your first love, you remember when the two of you had first met in Year 9, Yukhei was known for being a class clown and more of a klutz, girls would always have a soft spot for him even if they didn't like him in that way.
Yukhei was your desk mate for Year 10, the thing got you on your nerves about him was that he never took group assignments seriously, and was never at school on time, his uniform was wrinkly from rushing out of his house to catch the bus and always had a stationary missing, which means he had to borrow yours.
You never hated him, hate is a strong word, things were very neutral with him, most times, he unintentionally annoys you, but he'd always make up to you by bringing you a small bottle of apple juice the next day. The only time the two of you really fought was when he had not spoken up when his friends snatched your book away from yours to copy you off, brushing it off as a small matter.
You were quite an immature person back then, and no one can blame you, you were just a teenager, and being said that, you had refused to lend Yukhei a ruler when the math teacher did a pop quiz, so he had to use the dust pan as no one, other than you that is, brings an extra ruler.
It's not your fault, you thought back then, he shouldn't have depended on you to bring his share of stationaries. The next day, you walked into class to see his group of friends waiting at your desk to apologize to you, and as for Yukhei, he had yet again brought you a bottle of apple juice, with the addition of your favourite bar of Cadbury.
It was only in Year 11 when Yukhei had confessed to you, saying that all those annoying things he did to you were just to catch your attention, of all the girls he could've liked, he chose the one who was the most unattainable, go figure.
The next year, when the two of you were looking to apply to the same college, Yukhei broke the news to you that he'd be packing his bags for Korea, that the audition he had joined just for fun accepted him as a trainee in a large entertainment company in Korea that everyone in Hong Kong knows, SM.
At first you didn't approve of his decision, that his education was important as well, that he had a life here, with you. But Yukhei had given very valid reasons to you, that he wouldn't have passed the college entrance exams if it weren't for your tuitions until late at night in the public library, that he didn't really have an interest in studying. His most valid reason was that he didn't want to take a toll on you when you’re in college, he can't have you sacrifice your sleep and attention for him just to have him attain passing grades.
So you let him go, saying your last farewell to him at the airport as his girlfriend and ex girlfriend.
That was the last time you saw him, choosing to not stay in contact with him as you poured your soul into university life, studying like your life depends on it, you had a few boyfriends here and there, nothing serious, nothing that made you felt like your first love. Maybe you had trouble moving on, or maybe it was just stress, you thought back then, shrugging the thought off casually before diverting your attention else where, this cycle carried on until you came out to work.
Fast forwarding to March of 2019, you had unintentionally came across of a news online that Yukhei had finally been placed in his own fixed unit that would be promoting and performing in Chinese, which isn’t surprising, even the Thai member, Ten, was of Chinese heritage. What made your eyes widen was the fact that they were coming to Hong Kong.
At the day of the fan meet, you had took the day off from your boring low paying job at the law firm, so much for studying your ass off for bar exams, you’re just filing on a daily basis.
Before the day of the fan meet, you had lived off of instant cup noodles for a few weeks just to buy the album and their light stick. When you first listened to the album, you were proud of Yukhei’s rapping skills, you still recall the days when he’d struggle with his mandarin oral tests, the teachers there must be much better than you for him to improve so much, smiling fondly at the old memories.
You waved the light stick and sang along just like the other fans beside you, mesmerised by the performance that the boys are putting up, but your eyes were mostly on Yukhei, you would’ve never thought the once clumsy giant like him would dance as fluidly, executing the moves just as well as the other smaller sized members.
You watch as Yukhei introduces himself and his non Cantonese members in his mother tongue, a feeling of familiarity settling into your mind.
You are quite a confident person, but queuing up to the long table where Yukhei sat at the corner was nerve wrecking to you, what would he say to you? Would he recognise you? It hasn't been that long, but the two of you had done some changes to your looks.
The other members had greeted you with a friendly smile and a few casual questions like have you eaten, but they seem a bit taken aback by the lack of fan girl attitude that most of the fans in front of you had.
When you had got to Yukhei, he had dropped his marker on the floor, his head ducked out of sight to retrieve it, but when he came up to apologise, the words were stuck in his throat, as his eyes opened as wide as saucers. He coughed to mask the surprise on his face.
“Hi, how are you?” He asked as he took your album into his hands, scribbling something down.
“Good, how have you been?” although his hair is coloured, his eyes had contacts, and he wasn't in his messy uniform, the smile on his face never changed.
“Great, it's nice to see you,” to other fans and the staff beside him, they might think it's just one of the standard answers, but you knew Yukhei like the back of your hand, registering the twinkle in his eyes.
Soon, he had placed the album back into your hands, your fingers grazing gently as tiny sparks flew up your tips, eyes never breaking contact until the staff tells you to leave.
When you had sat down at a nearby cafe to get a cup of coffee, you took out your album and flipped to the page where Lucas had written something.
‘Hilton hotel, 9pm,' and his number under it.
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At nine sharp, you waited by the hotel’s sitting area, not many people at that time as usually stores in Hong Kong open rather late, patiently you waited for Yukhei. Just as you were scrolling through posts on Instagram, a tall figure approached you.
A call of your name rolled off his tongue naturally, a wave of nostalgia hitting the both of you.
“I bought you a little something before I got here,” you said as you stood up, letting him guide you to the elevators.
“What is it?” Yukhei lets out a flustered laugh, scratching the back of his nape when he realised he didn't get you anything in return.
“Roast goose and Cha Siew, are they still your favourite?” you asked, hoping his taste hasn’t changed over the years.
“Yeah, man, I remember how we'd always get quarter of both after school at Uncle Chan’s,” Yukhei said, remembering how the boss of the restaurant had hung a photo of two of you on the wall, deeming the two of you his most loyal lovebirds.
“This is from Uncle Chan’s,” you told him as you followed him into his room, looking around, expecting him to be rooming with someone.
“Don't worry, I told Yang Yang to sleep with Ten for the night,” Yukhei said when he saw you looking for someone.
“Oh, that's really nice of him,” you said as you set out the food, the smell of Hong Kong's famous delicacies wafting in the air.
“Man, I really missed this,” Yukhei said as he pulls the arm chair that was a few feet away close to the desk, directing you into it and situating himself in the not so comfortable wooden chair.
“I missed this too,” you said mindlessly, eyes avoiding his before you ate a piece of meat.
“I missed you too,” Lucas confessed, yes there are many pretty girls in his industry, and Korea itself, but no one would be able to replace you, you were his rock all his life, other than his family of course, it's hard to build a connection with someone just as strong when things between the two of you never really ended, in a way.
Leaving on too good terms and without much closure for both of you kept one another thinking of each other. The two of you know, that after tonight, things would go back to normal, Yukhei would be Wayv’s Lucas, and you’d remain as his past, there would never be an outcome from whatever happens tonight.
So when the two of you were recalling memories and troubles the two of you got in school on the oh so comfortable bed, you couldn't help it, hooking a leg over Yukhei’s waist, just like how it started at the night of the graduation party, the night where the two of you lost your virginities to each other.
“I’d be gone tomorrow, we shouldn’t, I shouldn't do this to you,” Yukhei said, a firm believer that it's always the girl that is on the losing side, like he's taking an advantage of you, ever the gentleman.
“I want this for myself, Yukhei, it's not like it's our first time,” you said, trying to convince him.
“I still feel guilty about our first time, I left a few months later after that night, and tomorrow would be the same, I'll be leaving you once more,” Yukhei said as his big hands caressed your cheeks, eyes wide like a puppy, pupils reflecting an image of you, a perfect representation of his universe, you.
“I don't care, I’ve moved on from you as your girlfriend all those years ago, moving on from you after tonight won't be a challenge for me,” you said in a firm tone, one that Yukhei knows all too well, he knows you won't give up when you sound like this.
He could possibly break two hearts if he chooses to act on his impulses, but he missed this, he missed you, and so he threw all caution out of the window when he smashed his lips desperately against yours, chewing on your bottom lip with little force, it was something that would easily get you worked up back then, and to his delight, it still worked, letting him dominate the kiss easily, he let his tongue slid in your mouth, tasting the beer the two of you had just now with a mixture of strawberry lip gloss, you were still using the Nivea one you used all those years ago, this only fuelled his desire for you, his hands leaving your cheeks to locate your waist, pulling you closer to him.
When you were out of air, you broke off the kiss, reaching the hem of your shirt to pull it off, then waiting a few seconds for Yukhei to admire the red lace on your skin before unclasping your bra, letting your blossoms free, all the while as Yukhei looks on, like he was in a trance.
“I missed these,” he commented before taking a mound into his mouth, sucking on your nipple diligently while his other hand comes up to roll it in between the pads of his fingers, the pleasure from the action making you throw your head back, a slip of his name in between your whimpers.
You let Yukhei push you back, letting you fall onto his bed, you felt his hands wander up your skirt, his huge hands around your thighs, squeezing the flesh in his palms, feeling you, but stopped when he reached the hem of your panties, detaching himself from your chest, looking at you for confirmation.
You nodded at him, putting your hand over his to guide him higher, stopping at the curve of your cheek, pushing his hand beneath the clothe, dangerously close to your core, heck he could even feel your arousal already, eyes rolling back at the thought of getting you so worked up.
“Take it off, but you can leave the skirt, for old time’s sake,” you said.
Yukhei looked at you, confused at what you’re trying to say, until he realised you were wearing a pleated checkered skirt, just like the ones you wore back in high school, memories of the two of you sneaking around, having a quickie with your skirt flipped up immediately made blood rush southwards at the thought.
“Fuck, you expected this to happen?” Yukhei asked, shaking his head in disbelief, he was always the troublemaker at school, but oh how the tables have turned now.
“Didn't you?” you asked before getting up to put yourself in a doggy position, shaking your butt, taunting him.
Yukhei chuckled to himself before doing as you say, taking off your panties to reveal your slick covered pussy, dripping wet for him on display.
Yukhei spreads you open by pulling your cheeks apart to lick a stripe up your slit, making you shudder at the warm muscle that was intruding but very much welcomed.
Yukhei allowed himself to fully stuff his face there, inserting his tongue into your core, thrusting the wet muscle at a moderate pace before adding a finger to the mix, then two, stretching you open to let his tongue delve deeper inside, he then adds a third finger, the fullness finally hitting you, soon he did a come hither movement once he had located your sweet spot, his tongue and fingers rubbing against the roof of your walls deliciously, you would’ve lost your balance if it weren't for his hand supporting you by your left hip.
The constant pleasure that Yukhei so willingly inflicted upon you would've soon come to an euphoric end if he hadn’t halted all movement, pulling out his tongue and his fingers, which made you whine his name pathetically, something you wouldn't have done if it weren't for the fact that your mind was reduced to a ball full of cotton.
“Chill, I worked you up so I wouldn't hurt you with my dick,” Yukhei said as he positions himself at your entrance, his hand coming up to your face to tilt your head to his direction, zeroing on your lust filled eyes and the plump of your lips, swollen because of him.
“Are you sure you want this?” Yukhei asks you one last time.
“Yes, please,” you said, pushing yourself back to lightly grind on his length, a little bit of your arousal getting onto his cock, his dick getting so hard it's starting to hurt.
“Ever so eager, aren't you?” Lucas said before biting his lip at the sight.
“Just put it in!” you whined, tired of his teasing.
“Okay, okay,” Yukhei said before bracing himself for your tight walls, he's never nervous when it comes to others, but you? You always held a special place in his heart.
Yukhei spreads your cheeks once more before aligning himself to slip in an inch, eyebrows furrowing at how tight you were, he could tell you were clenching up, just like you did the first time when you were nervous.
So he bends down to your back, placing gentle kisses along your right shoulder blade.
“Don’t tense up, there’s nothing to be nervous about, we did this before remember?” Yukhei said in his most gentle tone ever, you nodded your head at his words, adjusting yourself to let yourself lose in the comfort of his touch, reminding yourself that although it's been a long time since you had someone as big as him, you’ll be fine in his hands.
Once Yukhei felt yourself unclench, he pushes in furthermore, you felt yourself arching your back to allow him to fit himself easier, before he comes to a halt, you felt so full, you haven't felt this way in such a long time, it was somewhat overwhelming, but it's the most complete feeling ever, a feeling you've never felt with any other.
The initial stretch was slightly painful of course, but the pain soon turned into pleasure, and being the gentleman Yukhei is, waited for you despite the huge urge to move, waiting for your green light.
When you told him he could move, he felt like the gates of heaven just opened, pulling out slightly to give you a shallow thrust, just to test the waters.
Even with that experimental thrust, you felt like you had a taste of heaven, eager to drown yourself in this new found pleasure that you were once so familiar with.
Yukhei grasped his large hands onto your hips, setting a moderate pace, still restraining himself from snapping his hips, but from how much slick you were dripping, soon you'd be begging for more.
Once you felt yourself familiarise with his big cock, the pace that Yukhei had set wasn’t enough, you wanted him to let loose, you wanted him to rail you, be damned if you can’t walk tomorrow.
So in the midst of all the pleasure, you let out two desperate words breathlessly, “ruin me”.
Yukhei had to do a double take, pausing his movements entirely just to check if that was his mind messing with him or it was really you, but one look at your desperate face, revealed to him that was in fact your words.
Yukhei allowed the animalistic side of him to take over, holding onto your hips that would sure leave bruises the next day, but you didn’t mind, not when you felt a sudden surge of pleasure coursing through your body. He angled your body higher, arching your back for easier access, thrusting harder and faster.
You could only submit yourself to him as your toes curled and your fingers dig into the linen sheets, you’re sure if his members were next door, they'd be able to hear every single sound you make, the sound of your ass cheeks clapping against Yukhei’s hips and your high pitched moans were flowing freely, but you didn't care, not when this could be the last time you'd ever be with Yukhei.
Soon, you could feel yourself getting closer to the edge, your legs were trying their best not to fail you, and you could tell your arms were getting sore from propping yourself up as the cord in your abdomen threatened to snap, you panted out the word ‘close’, and Yukhei immediately understood, fucking into you at an inhuman pace, you could feel yourself losing your mind as spit drips from your mouth, sanity slowly slipping away from you as you felt your impending orgasm, it started from the tip of your toes, your body convulsing as you screamed his name, succumbing into the pleasure, your core bursting, the strongest orgasm you've ever felt, making your whole body sag in defeat as you let Yukhei help you ride out your orgasm.
Just when you thought it was all over, Yukhei gently flipped you over, and that’s when you realised he hasn’t cum, so you lifted your legs higher to let him enter you once again, he was using you like his personal doll, and you love it a little bit too much to be considered normal, you struggled to keep your eyes open as you fought through the slight pain from the overstimulation, hearing Yukhei’s mumble of appreciation and endearments.
“Can you give me one more, babe? Just one more,” Yukhei said before circling his fingers around your clit, making your eyes snap open when you realise he wants you to cum once more, your hands coming up to push his hand away, but his other hand grasped onto yours.
“Just one more, please,” Yukhei begged with those puppy eyes of his, and how could you say no?
So you stopped struggling, nodding your head at his request before he quickens the pace of his hips and the ministrations on your clit.
Soon, you could feel Yukhei’s cock swelling inside you before he let out a groan of your name, thrusting in one last hard thrust before he painted your walls white, his lips capturing yours to silent you as you came once more, your nails digging into his shoulders, your eyes fluttering shut as you felt Yukhei ride out both your highs.
Once he was done, Yukhei crashed onto the bed beside you, his arms wrapping around yours, kissing your lips to distract you as he pulled out, hopping into the attached bathroom to bring out two towels, taking off your skirt before he gently cleans you up, when he was done he wiped the juices you left on him, your eyes growing big when you knew it was from when you squirted on him.
“Sorry, I didn’t realise I squirted,” you mumbled behind the hands that you had covering your embarrassed face.
Yukhei laughed at the cute sight, throwing the towel aside before climbing into bed again, removing your hands away from your face, kissing you deeply before looking at you in the eye.
“I loved it,” he said before pulling you closer, and almost instantly, you were lulled to sleep by the beating of his heart.
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When you woke up, Yukhei was still snoring beside you, sleeping like a baby, you gently removed his hand from your waist, stepping out of the bed before gathering your clothes, putting them on, smoothing out the creases of your skirt.
Walking to the door, you glanced around once more at the sight of him, your heavy heart begging you to stay, to talk, and so you walked over to the night stand, ripping a piece of paper of the note pad and grabbing the pen next to it.
‘Goodbye and thank you for everything.’
You placed the piece of paper beside him on his pillow before kissing his forehead as a parting gift, closing the door as softly as you could when you left.
You knew this was the right thing to do, you made this decision once when he left for Korea the first time, you can't be in his way this time around, not when he's this far into his career, you can’t be selfish, he belongs on this path, he deserves it and you’re not going to take it away from him, you've stood on the side-lines all this time, he shed the limelight on you for one night, and that's all you should have, he's better off without you.
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Yukhei felt himself grow cold when he couldn't feel the warmth of your body, jerking up to check if you were in the bathroom, only to find the door wide open, the room empty.
That's when he had spotted the piece of paper with your goodbye message, his heart clenching in pain, crashing onto the bed once more.
He didn't know what to expect, you had sent him off once, and now you left him without saying goodbye. He thought he could at least say goodbye.
Pushing his thoughts away, he gathered his things, packing up to leave for Korea.
His members could tell something was terribly off, they thought he was just in it for a casual hook up, but his expression tells otherwise.
The usual cheerful Yukhei was nowhere to be found, which meant Yang Yang and Hendery had to keep the mood light throughout the journey home, everyone knew to not say anything, only speaking when crucial.
It took Yukhei quite a while for him to get back to his goofy self, but even then, Kun, being the most observant one, saw a tightness in his smile, a faraway look in his eyes, whoever he had seen that night must've meant a lot to him, but he dare not to press, he knows Yukhei would open up when he's ready.
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It was a normal Tuesday night when he had received a request to face time from you, without thinking much of it, excited to hear from you, he accepted, your beautiful face coming into view as he got comfortable on his bed.
“Hey, this is unexpected,” Yukhei said, not knowing what else to say.
“Yukhei, there’s something I need to tell you,” you said, eyes avoiding his.
“Yeah, what's up?” he asked, rubbing his nape, a habit he does whenever he's nervous.
“I'm um, I’m pregnant,” you said, choosing to not beat around the bush.
You could see Yukhei's face pale when he processed your words. Is it his? It's definitely his, it's almost a month since the two of you slept together, unless you slept with someone else?
“It's mine?” a dumb question, but he needs to know for sure.
“Yeah,” you said before the two of you come to a piercing silence.
“You could get an abortion, maybe?” Yukhei suggested after contemplating in his head, there’s no way he could be in the child’s life, and that's the best option for your sake, raising a child in Hong Kong is the most expensive thing to do, equivalent to buying a house there.
“I decided to keep it, Yukhei,” you said, glancing up to see the disbelief on his face.
“You can’t, you know I can't be there for you and you’re still so new in your job, you can't risk your life for this!” Yukhei said, not comprehending on why you'd do this to yourself.
“I already decided, Yukhei, and I don't expect you to take responsibility, this is my choice,” you said as tears threatened to flow.
“That isn't fair, it's not fair for the child! A child needs its father! You don't know what you're doing! Being a single mum is next to impossible in Hong Kong! You're putting the child in a horrible situation just for your selfishness!” Yukhei said before pushing his hair back, the feeling of an impending headache forming.
“How dare you say that?! I’ll raise this child perfectly on my own, I was just calling you to inform you of it, but since you don't want anything to do with it or me, I guess this is goodbye and don't call me anymore, I won't change my mind,” you said before your face disappeared from his phone screen.
Yukhei tried calling you immediately after, a day later, several weeks later, but you never picked up. Then he started stressing about his career, what would happen if someone were to find out? But he knows you as a person, and being a tell-tale is not one of your characteristics, yeah, he can just act like nothing happened, like he had never received this call.
He knows he's running away from his problems, but what other choice does he have?
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Fast forwarding to July of 2021, Yukhei is home after his filming of the popular Chinese reality show in China, Keep Running, he feels at ease when he sees his family, finally reuniting with them, but only for a short two weeks time, before he has to leave for Korea once more.
It was a Friday night when his friends from home took him out for a drink, he was not so familiar with the clubbing scene in Hong Kong, but with the knowledge he has of this area, he knows many rich and young people often here, just like the girl kissing up his neck now, her soft hands running up the expanse of his thigh, getting dangerously close to where he wants her to be.
Yet Yukhei doesn’t remember her name, was it Candy? Apple? Some sort of name that had to do with food, he just remembered that she told him that she was an up and coming model, or trying to be anyways.
Just as she suggested to go to some hotel, Yukhei suggested for a quickie in the bathroom first, and so here he is now, being pushed to the door of a stall, her hands trying to unbuckle his belt.
Yukhei reached the back of his pocket for his wallet, opening it, looking for the condom he had placed there, but cursed when he realised he must've dropped it when he paid for drinks.
He told her to go back out and wait for him to get some, leaving the club and the musky smoke filled place behind him, the summer breeze blowing his hair all over, he brings the hood of his jacket up as he scans for a nearby convenience store, locating one at the street across.
When he got in, the scent of curry immediately greeted him, it was your favourite food, everyday after school, no doubt you'll drag him into one of these shops, just to share a bowl of curry fish balls, one of the most famous snacks here in Hong Kong.
He pushed the thought away, trudging to the aisle that was on the most right, where the condoms were at, hidden away from children. He took a box and made his way to the counter, opening his wallet to take out a few notes.
The cashier turned her back from stocking the cigarette shelf, scanning the box wordlessly.
“That would be 30,” she said when she looked up, but her hand immediately dropped the box when she saw who it was, and that's when Yukhei truly opened his eyes to see who it was, at first he was just miffed not knowing why the cashier froze, then he sees you, in the worn out 7 Eleven uniform, was you, the last person he’d be expecting.
“Why are you here? What happened to your job at the law firm? Why...” Yukhei didn't know how to ask, he didn't know if he deserved the right to ask, yet there's so many questions he had swarming in his head. Where is his child? Did you abort it in the end? Did you give it up for adoption? Were you fired from your job because of it?
“It's my shift right now, and you seem to be getting lucky tonight,” you said stiffly, holding up the box for him to see, sliding it across the counter
“It's for my friend actually,” Yukhei said, eyes avoiding yours, but immediately looking at you straight in the eyes, remembering how you use to be able to see right through him whenever he didn't do the revision work you've given him.
“Right,” you said, resisting to roll your eyes.
“You haven't answered me, why are you working here instead of the law firm?” Yukhei pressed.
You sigh at his persistence, not knowing what to say to humour him, so you didn't say anything, getting back to rearranging the shelves.
Yukhei bit his lip, not knowing what to say to you, but a million questions in his head, desperate for answers.
“Please leave if you're done with your purchases,” you said, you had a long day, and the thought of entertaining him was not something you want to add on your plate.
Yukhei looked around the store once more, grabbing a bowl of instant noodles from the shelf before making his way once more to the cashier.
“I’d like to have this here,” Yukhei said before pulling out some spare change from just now.
“Yukhei, what are you trying to do?” you asked in an exasperated tone, there's no point making small talk when there's no way the two of you would ever cross in each other’s lives ever again.
“I'm hungry, I want to eat noodles,” which wasn’t really a lie, all the alcohol he drank before gave him an appetite.
You sighed, turning your back to him, soundlessly waited for the water to boil before pouring it into the cup, sealing the top for it to cook. As you worked, Yukhei was having déjà vu, this was an all too familiar sight, nights at the convenience store studying till late at night in groups, you'd always share noodles with him as you taught him some dumb math formula that no one uses in their life after school.
He takes his bowl of noodles, opting to sit at the place closest to the counter, just looking at you, eating as slow as humanly possible.
When it was around three, you received a call.
“Hello?”
“...”
“You think you have a stomach ache? Celine jia is asleep? Okay, mama’s coming home okay?” you said frantically before shutting off the stove of the food at the counter, running to the back for a pack of meds, depositing some money into the register. You looked at Yukhei, frozen at his seat, cursing at yourself for not going into the back room before picking up the call.
“You need to go, I have something to deal with,” you said as you grabbed your bag, turning off all the switches in one go, making the place pitch black other than the lights from the lamp posts outside.
“Is that my child?” Yukhei asked, he can't allow himself to act like it never happened before, he ran away once, it's time to man up and shoulder on his responsibilities.
“No I fucked another guy before you and it's his child,” you deadpanned.
You walked down the street to flag for a taxi that is always parked there to get their club goer customers, Yukhei hot on your heels, you turned back to look at him questioningly.
“This is none of your concern, don’t follow me,” you said in a rather seething tone, you didn't mean to sound like that, but if he's going to be in the way of your child, then he’s not a friend.
“That's my child too, I want to know how they are, I have a right to do so, you studied law, you should know,” Yukhei retorted in the most friendly way possible, he knows he's in the wrong, but he wants to ensure his child’s safety.
“For fuck’s sake,” you cursed aloud before stepping into the taxi, leaving the door open for him.
You told the driver your address, sitting back to think of what's the problem, the kindergarten shouldn't be the culprit, it's a school with a good reputation, which also burns a hole in your wallet, but you don't mind, and it's not like you have much of a choice, education is deadly expensive here.
About 20 minutes later, you've reached home.
“That'll be 150, miss,” the driver said.
“What?!”
“Fares are different after midnight, miss,” the driver reminded you.
Before you could check if you had enough money on you, Yukhei paid for it wordlessly.
You got out of the car, rushing into the building and running up the stairs as quick as you can, unlocking the door, jabbing the keys into the rusty lock.
Taking off your shoes before you made your way to your room, spotting your son crouched in the corner of your bed, hands around his stomach.
“Hey, mama's home, I'll get you a glass of water to take your medicine okay?” you said before hurrying out, Yukhei passing you a glass of water at the kitchen.
“Thanks,” you mumbled before making your way back inside.
You open the package and passed you son a tablet, but looking at the size, you knew he’d panic to swallow something this big, so you broke it in half, telling him to drink a big gulp of water to wash it down and it'll be fine.
All the while, Yukhei was watching with wonder leaning by the door frame, even in the dim lights and the fact that he's still quite young, he could still identify his eyes on his son, the strong genes in his family, his father and brother all had those eyes, this boy is most definitely his.
The boy diligently does as you told him, taking a big gulp of water, so obedient, and from the way the two of you communicate, very mature for his age, nothing like the usual three year old.
When he was done, he noticed Yukhei’s presence, tugging your sleeve to whisper into your ear, eyes trained on him.
“That's a friend of mine, love, be polite, say hi to Yukhei gogo,” you urged.
Yukhei took this as a sign to get closer to his son, squatting down to meet his eye.
“You’re a handsome boy, what's your name? I’m Yukhei and I’m 22 this year, how about you?” Yukhei asked as he reached out his hand for the little boy to shake.
“I’m Wenghei, 3 years old. Why have I never seen you before gogo?” the child asks, looking at him with curious eyes, he's met some of your friends, but he's definitely haven't met him before, most people aren't as tall here, or not in his mother's circle anyways.
“Get some rest, love,” you said, tucking him into bed.
“Okay,” he said, a yawn coming out from his mouth.
You closed the door behind you, directing Yukhei to the small living room area, serving him a glass of water.
You walked to the trash bin, opening the lid to check its contents, a scowl on your face when you saw the root of your son’s stomach ache when you spot the plastic container that contained the two day old pizza from the freezer. Your roommate, Celine, must’ve gave him some as dinner, usually you'd leave some money for Celine to buy him dinner, but she must've been tight on money again, trying to find ways to squeeze in some spare change, you've warned her of her spending habits, always splurging on albums of her favourite stars, which reminds you.
“You have to go, I’m living with a roommate and I'm sure she's going to recognise you,” you said, a hand gesturing at the door.
“Wait, did you find out why he had a stomach ache?” Yukhei asked.
“Yeah, he ate something he shouldn't have for dinner, you have to go, I need some rest for tomorrow,” you said, struggling to keep your eyes open.
“Do you have anything on tomorrow? Can I see you, perhaps?” Yukhei asked, he didn't know what he wanted to talk about, but he just had to see you again.
“I’m tutoring a student at a coffee shop tomorrow, you can come right after,” you said, thinking that he just wants to know more about his son.
“Okay, goodnight then,” Yukhei said awkwardly as he walks towards the door.
“Goodnight,” you said, feeling a weight on your chest, dreading tomorrow’s meeting.
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When Yukhei arrived at the café, he could see you sitting at the way back, a teenage girl sitting in front of you, back facing him, he sipped on his latte, observing you silently.
Your hair is much longer than it had been in high school, the bag hung by your chair very much worn out, and your eye bags were heavier than on days where Yukhei would stay up to prepare for promotions.
Soon, the student was packing up, leaving the table, Yukhei took this as a sign to move to your table. You had stood up to greet him, and that's when he saw, you had lost lots of weight, and he's not meaning it in a fitness way, he recognised the jeans you are wearing, you had these even back then, they used to be a perfect fit for you, that's why they were your favourite, but now, you were wearing a belt to hold it together, and still he could see how loose it was.
“Hey, you didn't order anything?” Yukhei asked, noting that the cup of coffee he saw just now belonged to your student.
“I got a coffee in my flask, cheaper that way,” you said as you packed up your stationaries.
“What did you have for breakfast? How about I order you a piece of cake?” Yukhei suggested, looking back to see what they have today.
“It's alright, I'm not hungry, why don't we get straight to the point? What is it you want to ask about Wenghei?” you asked, noting the time on your watch, you have to leave around noon to fetch your son from pre school.
“I, how about you? Why did you leave the firm? And how’s your parents?” Yukhei started off.
“Well, they said I would’ve been an embarrassment to the firm, you know, pregnant and unmarried, so they told me to leave, it's not like filing could be done with a big weight in my stomach, so I did as they said. Now I tutor kids English and work the night shift at the convenience store, and as for my parents, they kicked me out,” you said, laying down the cards, no point avoiding his questions, especially not when you're in a hurry.
Yukhei nodded at your words, registering the fact that he had a fault in ruining your hot shot lawyer dreams and completely destroyed your sensitive relationship with your parents, how is he ever going to forgive himself?
“I’m sorry,” Yukhei said, he didn't know what else to say, how could he make it up to you and your son? Will you let him even if he could?
“Don't be, this is on the both of us, are you going to ask about the share custody stuff? If so, I don't think we should continue this conversation, Wenghei doesn’t know who you are, and maybe that's the best case scenario, what point would be made if he knew you were his father but you're not in our lives? It'll break his heart. You've seen him now, maybe you can reconnect with him when he's older, I think you should just say goodbye before you go, if you want,” you said, saying these harsh words aloud wasn’t easy, you’re not entirely a cold hearted bitch, but it's for the best that your son didn’t know about his father, no one wants to know the fact that their father abandoned them twice, some truths are better to be untold.
“Can I see him one last time, maybe tonight? For dinner? I'm leaving in two days,” Yukhei said in a defeated tone.
“Yeah, sure, I'll take the shift off tonight,” you said, eyes avoiding his, you could just tell he’d have those sad puppy eyes on his face right now, you don't need anymore guilt in your heart.
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“Hey man, where were you?” Jackson asked Yukhei, who was waiting for him at the harbour, they were going to Macau for a day trip today, his friend isn't late for the boat, but they did schedule to meet 15 minutes earlier.
“Something came up, and I need to head back around 7, there’s some people I need to see,” Yukhei said as they boarded the boat.
“So that leaves us 5 hours, should be enough,” Jackson said, checking his watch.
“I’m sorry about this, man, it just came up suddenly,” Yukhei said as they took their seats, apologetic because they have been talking about this trip for a long time now.
“It's okay, dude, but what's up? You look really stressed,” Jackson asked, taking in Yukhei's clenched jaw and furrowed brows, a stark contrast from his usually carefree expression.
“It's a long story,” Yukhei said as he mindlessly watches the sea from the little window of his seat.
“Well, if you don't mind, this is a 45 minutes journey, maybe we'll be able to find a solution together, what are friends for am I right?” Jackson offered, he wouldn't press his friend if he didn't want to tell him about it, but the two of them have been close ever since going on knowing brothers, coming from the same home country and everything.
And so Yukhei, for the first time, told his friend his long love story.
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“You know, I think I have a solution for you, but let me ask you one thing first, do you still love her?” Jackson asked as he ate his pork chop bun, Macau’s famous local snack.
Yukhei pondered over his friend’s question, yes the two of you agreed to break up, but all the girls he dated after you, all had similar features or personality traits to you, he had dismissed it as just a type, but now that he had seen you again, he realised that the hole in his heart was always emptied for you, you were the missing puzzle piece all along.
“You don't even have to answer me, your face tells all man,” Jackson said, an oily finger wagging at the direction of his face.
“Yeah, I think I do,” Yukhei said with a sigh, “but even if I still love her, that doesn’t mean she loves me back, and what if we do love each other? We're living oceans apart,” Yukhei said in a defeated tone.
“Now here comes my solution, so you said she got fired from her law firm and is now tutoring kids and doing the night shift at 7 E, and got kicked out by her shitty parents, so she really doesn't have anything else here for her other than her son, why don't you suggest get to move with you? To Korea? It'll be way easier for the two of you to raise your son, even if the two of you don't get back together, I mean, at least you'll be able to financially support them, that is what you're willing to do right?” Jackson asked, hoping that his friend would uptake his part of the child support.
“Yeah, of course I want that, I just don't know what she'll say, or if she'd be willing, she doesn't speak the language and it's an entirely different environment,” Yukhei said, thinking back the days where he had a tough time adjusting.
“From what you told me, she sounds like a tough nut, but of course, this is all up to you, but just so you know, I would really like to be his godfather, and as for your doubts of her love towards you, she did name him after you, isn't it the same Hei?” Jackson said with a hearty chuckle, he could just imagine the fun they'll have together, he was always fond of children.
“Yeah, I’ll persuade her on this,” Yukhei said, he could already feel himself getting nervous for tonight’s dinner, it can’t be that much of a coincidence that his son’s last name resembled his right? Or is he and Jackson just being delusional?
“Now that's my buddy, now come on, finish your food so that we’ll make it in time for the next batch of Portuguese egg tarts, I remember they have a fresh batch around 4,” Jackson said, mouth salivating at the thought of more food.
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When you arrived at the restaurant, it was fancier than what you had expected, feeling underdressed among the rich elite of Hong Kong in your old dress that you wear for every special occasion.
You asked if there was a reservation under your name, since Yukhei said he had it booked under you, and almost immediately, since not that many people can afford places like these, the waiter led you in.
“Mama, what is this place? We've never ate here before,” your son asked you.
“It's a French cuisine restaurant, we’re meeting gogo here, remember him? Or were you too sick that day?” you said as you placed him on the baby chair you had requested for.
“Yeah, I remember,” your son said as he looks around in awe, registering the pretty chandeliers that look so sparkly.
When the waiter handed you a menu, someone had joined your table, his hoodie pulled up so no one would recognise him, pulling it down when he saw that there wasn't any other customers around.
“Sorry, am I late?” Yukhei asked with a sheepish smile, a hand lifting up to check the time.
“No, we’re just early, say hi to Yukhei gogo, love,” you directed the last part to your son, patting his little hand to get his attention, smiling immediately when he lands on the tall figure.
“Gogo, you're here,” your son said excitedly, making grabby hands at him, letting his father carry him with a large smile on his face.
“Hey, buddy, don't you look excited to see me?” Yukhei said before blowing raspberry at his neck, making the young boy giggle.
What you didn't expect was to see someone coming up behind Yukhei, a little bit shorter and smaller in built, but when he pulled his hoodie down, you instantly recognised who it was.
“Jackson Wang?” you asked, blinking your eyes a few times to see if you were hallucinating.
“Hey, it’s nice to finally meet you, you look lovely tonight, and you must be little Wenghei, aren't you adorable, how about Jackson gogo take you out to buy toys, huh? I saw a big toy store just across the street, but only if your ma says yes of course,” Jackson said, giving you a side eye to Yukhei.
“Yeah, sure,” you said, it's not like the Jackson Wang is going to kidnap your son right?
“Don’t worry, I’ll watch him with my life,” Jackson said as Yukhei passes his son over to him, leaving the restaurant with his hood up once more.
“Is there something you'd like to say?” you asked Yukhei after he had taken the seat across you his hands were shaking slightly as he holds up the menu.
“I... I still love you. And I know I must sound like a jerk to you, hell I’d go back in time just to hit myself for running away, I'm really sorry for that. What I did was inexcusable, my career just stabilised at that time, and I was under immense stress from SM, you have every right to be mad at me, but I want to be apart of your life again, apart of Wenghei’s life as well, if you could let me have this second chance, I'll do anything to make the both of you happy,” Yukhei said in one breath, reciting what he had practised over and over again with Jackson in the car.
“Yukhei, I,” you were lost for words, you thought you were saying goodbye once more, that Yukhei and you would always end up in goodbyes, but now here he is, saying he loves you.
“Yukhei, you can't just say you love me for the sake of our son, and neither would you need to take responsibility for him, I chose to have him, and as for love, we can never be together, you’re an international super star now, and you're living in Korea, I don't think I have the energy to be in a long distance relationship with you, that would take a toll on Wenghei too, how am I going to explain to him that his father is in another country? He’ll always question your love for him and I don't want that,” you said, trying to hold in the tears that had built up in your eyes, your throat closing up, the cold facade you built for yourself crumbling down before his eyes.
“You can move to Korea, both of you, we can be a family,” Yukhei pleaded, his hands reaching forward to hold yours, his eyes searching yours.
“We can’t, what if we break up? What if your so called love for me, is just something you feel as a result of our child? You can't uproot the two of us when there's so many uncertainties, especially our emotions,” you said, you don't want either of you to be stuck in a relationship for the sake of raising a child, no one would be happy in the end.
“Love, you don't understand, I've never had a serious relationship after you, I tried, I really did, but I’d always think of you instead, how badly I wanted you instead of someone who reminds me of you, the thing is, I’ve always loved you, and I think you still love me too, or you wouldn't have named our son after me, am I right?” Yukhei hoped, why else would you come up with that name right?
Damn it, you thought to yourself, he saw right through you, maybe you shouldn't have named your son after him.
You looked at him and looked away, darn those puppy eyes, you’re sure you’re crying now, and Yukhei reaching over to wipe away your tears just confirmed it.
“I love you, it's always been you, only you,” Yukhei confessed.
“I, I love you too, Yukhei, and I was never mad at you for running away from us, I know how tough that industry is, but what if your fans find out about us?” you asked, slightly worried that he might lose it like last time.
“Then so be it, true fans would stay,” he said in an affirmative tone, reassuring you.
“You promise?” you asked, holding out your pinky, it would’ve been a funny sight to see if anyone saw the two of you now, crying and smiling at the same time.
“I promise,” Yukhei said before hooking his own pinky to connect with yours.
“If you leave us, Wong Yukhei, I’ll murder you in your sleep,” you said as threatening as you could sound.
“I plan to see our son grow up, so I'll value my life,” Yukhei said in utmost sincerity before grabbing a napkin to wipe away all your tears, you’re glad that you didn't wear any mascara today.
Just when Yukhei wiped away the tears in his eyes, Jackson was back with your bubbly child, his arm had bags digging into his flesh.
“Oh my god, that's too much, Wenghei why did you get so many, this is Jackson gogo’s hard earned money,” you said, lecturing your son.
“It's okay, he's an angel, this was all on me, and I guess things went well?” Jackson asked, eyes darting to your connected hands.
“Yeah,” you said, the biggest smile you had on your face.
“That's great to hear, I always wanted to be an uncle, now if you’ll excuse me, I don't think I should crash this family reunion any longer,” Jackson said giving his best friend a hug before leaving.
“So... What do you like to eat Wenghei? How about we get crème brulé,” Yukhei asked, pointing at the menu with childlike eyes, reminding you of the days where he’d get ice cream with you, splitting it on half for you to share.
“Sounds delicious.”
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You let Yukhei order everything, sharing between the three of you while the three of you talked, Yukhei mostly directed the questions at his child, asking about his interests, his favourites of everything, ranging from colour to ice cream, eager to make up for loss time.
“How about we talk about where you'll be staying?” Yukhei asked after ordering dessert.
“Oh, I don't know what I'll be able to afford, I'll probably get another convenience store job again, so the rent can't be too high,” you said, dreading the thought of needing to learn a new language quickly for a job.
“Hey, you don't need to work anymore, nor pay rent, I already looked it up, there's an empty unit in our condo, the soundproofing might be a bit lacking, but that wouldn't be a problem if you don't sing in the shower like Dejun, we had a few noise complaints because of him,” Yukhei said, laughing at the fond times he had at the dorms.
“Yukhei, I know housing is really expensive there, are you sure you want to do this?” you asked once more, you don't want him to resent the financial burden the two of you would add onto him.
“What did I say to you just now? I said what I meant, I want the two of you to be in my life, forever. And don't worry about money, I saved up plenty and there’s many more jobs coming up for me, and moving out of the dorms would be the next step of adulthood to me, and we’ll get to spend so much more time together, right Wenghei?” Yukhei asked, pinching your son’s chubby cheeks teasingly.
“We’ll be living together, Yukhei gogo?” your son asked, a confused expression on his face, he had his attention trained on some pink fong video, something about dinosaurs.
“Yeah, Wenghei, we’ll be moving out of our little room, are you excited? We're going to a new country. Remember the dramas I watched with you? Korea has that big outdoor theme park you said you always wanted to go, and snow, you'll get to make snowmen during the winter,” you persuaded, hoping he won’t fuss too much about the move.
“Really? There’s snow in Korea?” your son asked, excited about the winter scene he’ll get finally see in real life.
“Yeah, real snow, not the bubbles in Disney land, are you excited?”
“Yeah, is Jackson gogo going to stay with us too?” your son asked, eyes darting to his new goodies before looking at you expectantly.
“Well, Jackson gogo has his own house and we have ours, but we can always visit him,” Yukhei explained.
“Hehe, okay,” your son said before getting distracted by the crème brulé set in front of him, digging in immediately.
“When do you want us to make the move?” you asked, thinking of all the things you have to pack, which isn't a lot, but you might have to courier some of your clothes over first.
“Whenever you want, I'll get our home ready as soon as possible, is there anything you need in the house? Other than the basics of course,” Yukhei asked, uncertain of any needs you have as a woman or maybe for your son.
“Can we have a study room for Wenghei? With a desk and shelves? We love to read, and he'll need a proper desk when he's older,” you asked, hoping it wasn't too much.
“Yeah, sure, I'll be sure to get it done,” Yukhei said, noting it down into his phone.
“But it's no rush on the study room part, he's just three after all, before I go, I have to apply visas for both of us,” you said, dreading the thought of filling up paperwork, you haven't done much of that ever since you left the law firm.
“Call me if you need any help on that, I'm sure my manager knows how to,” Yukhei said.
“You’re going to tell your company about us?” you asked, knowing how strict Korean entertainment companies are.
“They can't let me go just because of having my own family, they didn't let Jongdae, my senior, go, so we’ll be fine, I promise,” Yukhei said, reaching a hand over to hold yours reassuringly, his eyes looking into yours, filled with love and adoration.
“Okay, now how about we walk around the complex until 10? Wenghei doesn't have school tomorrow,” you suggested.
“Yeah, sure, we could even stay out later if you want,” Yukhei said enthusiastically, getting up slightly to call for the bill.
“You have a flight to catch tomorrow,” you reminded him in your motherly voice, which you regretted almost instantly, cursing yourself, reminding yourself to act more like an actual 22 year old, but Yukhei didn't say anything about it, hiding his smile by nodding deeply, almost like a bow.
“Okay, I just wanted to spend more time with the two of you,” Yukhei said, stopping when he saw the waiter coming back with the credit card machine, paying with just a glance at the bill.
The three of you spent your remaining time shopping and at the arcade, playing games with your son, Yukhei had insisted on getting you a new pair of sneakers, but you shot him down when he wanted to buy more stuff, especially toys for Wenghei.
“You can buy him toys when we’re there, it'll cost even more to ship more stuff over, and there's a risk of damaging the toys as well,” you said.
But of course your son threw a fit at the shop, all for some legos.
“Hey, buddy, I'll buy you lots the next time I see you, okay? I'll buy you one that's even bigger than this,” Yukhei said, squatting down next to his son, and even then he wasn't eye level with him, sometimes you forget how tall Yukhei actually is until you see a scene like this, or when you stand really close to him.
When it was 10pm, painful goodbyes were exchanged with a promise of face timing everyday, your son cried, and held onto his father dearly, and you haven't even told him Yukhei was his dad, but their bond is evident.
Yukhei held onto you and your son until his taxi came, and you waved until you couldn't see the taillights.
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It's been a month since that fateful reunion, and Yukhei has squeezed in face times, calls, and texts in between schedules, giving you and your son time despite his busy career.
His company wasn’t too happy about it of course, but was somewhat glad that you weren't one to babble your business to gossip outlets.
You're now packing your things, one last time, you've been to the post office multiple times before to courier out your stuff to Korea, and every time a box reached his address, Yukhei would take a photo of it, telling you the stuff arrived safely.
Progress on your new home was quick, since it was already a fully furnished unit, Yukhei only needed to buy some furniture and things that cater to your son’s needs, he even picked out a pre school that teaches mandarin, perfect for your son’s adjustment in such a foreign country.
Tomorrow you'd be flying to Korea, a new country, a new start, but there was something clouding your mind, something you've been dreading, but today is the day you’ll tell him.
“Wenghei, can you come to mama for a second?” you asked, soon hearing your son’s tiny footsteps nearing you.
“Yes, mama?” your son asked, a hand around his precious teddy.
“There's something I need to tell you,” you said holding him close to you, letting him sit onto your lap.
“Remember how you asked me why you didn't have a baba while all your other classmates did?” you asked, trying to word it as nicely as possible.
“You said my baba had a really big responsibility, that he couldn't see us because of it, that he'll come back when he's free,” your son answered you, struggling to remember more details.
“Yes, good job, Wenghei, your memorising skills are getting better. Well, your baba is actually Yukhei gogo, he’s back now, and we can finally be a family again,” you said before holding in a breath, not knowing how he’ll react.
“Baba is Yukhei gogo? That's why we’re going to Korea?” your son asked, confusion written on his face.
“Yeah, do you like that he's your baba?” you asked, this could be the most important question ever.
“Yeah, mama, do you love baba? Does baba love you as much as I do?” your son asked, which very much surprised you, but expecting this sort of maturity from him.
“Yes, we love each other, and both of us love you as much too,” you said with a pinch of his chubby cheeks.
“Do we ever have to be separated from baba again?” your son asked, scared of losing his newfound father.
“No, never again, and can you do me one favour, Wenghei? I think the next time when you see your baba, you should run up to him and say hi baba, he’ll be very happy to hear you call him that,” you suggested, imagining the look on Yukhei’s face.
Your son giggled at the thought of making his father happy, agreeing immediately.
“Okay, now go to sleep, it's going to be your first time flying tomorrow,” you said, ushering him onto the bed.
“Okay, goodnight, mama,” your son said to you, just like he did every other night, he seemed to have accepted it very easily, maybe it was due to his age, but some day he might ask his father about his departure personally when he understands more, but that’s a hardship that’s reserved for another day.
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The flight was relatively short, though it was rather hard for Wenghei at the start because of the pressure he had experienced in his ears, the crying and whining got you plenty of dirty looks from passengers around you, but you paid no mind to it, you’ve been through worst so this is nothing that can faze you.
When you got there, you saw a lady holding up a plaque with your name on it, her phone in her hand, checking all the moms who came out of the same lane as you.
She had a friendly smile on her face when she saw you, introducing herself in mandarin, being one of Wayv’s staff, a trusted one, according to Yukhei.
She talked to you about Yukhei in general, even giving your son a bar of mini KitKat, praising him for being brave on the flight after she had asked you how was your flight.
Around half an hour later, you've reached your new home, a nice looking condominium that looked about a few years old.
Unloading took quite some time, even with the help of the staff, but what surprised you was the person who was waiting for you inside the lobby.
“You're here!” you said surprised at the sight of the giant.
“Yeah, I am, wanted to give you a surprise, sorry I couldn't be outside, some crazy fans camp outside, can’t let them bring you and Wenghei any harm,” Yukhei said as he carried Wenghei, spinning in a small circle, looking at him with full of love.
“I understand, don't worry, I'm not a teenager girl anymore,” you said as you checked out the place, the sitting area had a couch set and free WiFi, this is a 180 from the living conditions in Hong Kong.
“Baba, did you miss me?” your son asked when he had stopped giggling from his father’s spins, which instantly ceased to a halt, eyes growing as wide as saucers.
“What did you call me? Say it again,” Yukhei said with the biggest smile on his face, all of his teeth were showing.
“Mama said you were my Baba,” Wenghei said like it was as simple as two plus two.
“Yeah... I am your baba, and you're my son,” Yukhei said before holding his son even closer, you could even see the tears at the corner of his eyes.
“Why don't we go see our new home Wenghei?” you suggested, seeing that some people have came out from the lifts, typical going to work hours.
You walked a feet away from Yukhei, not wanting to draw attention, holding onto the lift for Yukhei to bring all your luggage in.
Once you were at your level, you started loosening up, noticing that no one was around.
“This is my members’ unit,” Yukhei said pointing at a door, “And this is ours,” Yukhei said before opening the door for you, welcoming you into a warmly decorated home, every piece of furniture was placed and chose to accommodate your child, all the corners were covered with this e rubber safety stickers.
He showed you into Wenghei's room where the bed had all his favourite characters in the form of a plushie, his bed was soft when you sat down on it, and the blanket he had picked out was a soft fleece material, perfect for the cold weather.
Your son was going around every corner, awing at everything his father had gotten him, especially the Lego sets that were on his desk.
“Thank you, it's beautiful, his room,” you said when Yukhei wrapped an arm around your waist, bringing you closer to him, god how much you've missed his warmth.
“Go take a look at your room,” Yukhei said before pulling your hand into the direction of the master bedroom, welcoming you into a room with a king size bed and silk linen sheets, an aesthetic looking vanity that you've always wanted as a teenager, now as well of course, and a little reading corner just for you by the window.
“It's all I've ever wanted,” you said in disbelief, not knowing how could Yukhei pull this off in such a short time.
“You like it? I got some help from my members, especially Kun for the kitchen, you should check it out afterwards, you always wanted a big kitchen area,” Yukhei said as you laid on the bed, giving your stiff body a rest from the journey.
“Lay down with me for a while, I’m a bit tired from the flight,” you said, making grabby hands at him.
“Nah, I shouldn’t, this is your bed,” Yukhei said, looking flustered.
“Wong Yukhei, I’ve had your child and now you're acting all innocent?” you asked in an accusing tone, playing with him, which made him lay down next to you immediately, he didn't like getting you angry, thinking back all those days when you had lectured him just like that when he forgot to do his homework.
“You want me to sleep here?” Yukhei asked carefully, observing your expressions.
“This is our bedroom, where else do you want to sleep?” you asked, but was promptly cut off by Yukhei's lips on yours, smiling as he kissed you, gentle but expressing all his love for you, a hand lingering on your back, guiding you closer than him.
Many mistakes that had to be made had guided you here, but you've never regretted, for if it wasn't for the hardships and the crossroads, you wouldn't have found a home with the man you'll cross oceans for.
The end.
225 notes · View notes
outercrasis · 4 years ago
Text
Sessions
Pairing: College!Din Djarin x F!Reader
Word Count: 2.6k
Warnings: None (let me know if I missed something!)
Summary: Everyone is talking about the mysterious new guy on campus
A/N: I had a ton of fun writing this extremely self-indulgent AU and I have plans to keep writing more about these two. It won’t be an actual chaptered fic, but at some point I’ll throw together a masterlist with a chronological order to things.
Series Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Introductions
The semester had only started four weeks ago and he was already a legend around campus. Almost everywhere someone could be found whispering about him. You'd even heard faculty speculating, wondering about the rumors they overheard their students sharing.
You first heard of him in your literature seminar, some of your fellow classmates discussing a recent rumor about the now fabled man. Something about a motorcycle and a child caught your ear, prompting you to interrupt and the girls in front of you who they were talking about. 
The looks you received from the pair were incredulous at best. “You mean you haven’t heard about him?”
“Heard about who?” you asked, genuinely confused. It had only been the first week of class at the time and you were too caught up with your own busy start to check in on the rumor mill.
“Mando, obviously. He’s all anyone is talking about.” From there the girls had happily filled you in on all the latest sightings and rumors. 
Mando, as they called him, was shrouded in mystery. He'd popped up on Corellia University's campus when the semester began and no one knew a thing about him. He hadn't gone to Corellia before, internet searches turned up nothing, and even the skull-like symbol on the back of his leather jacket wasn't familiar to anyone. Any information on him was conjecture at best and there was plenty to go around. Once the rest of the class caught onto what you three were discussing, theories began to fly.
People discussed how he’d been spotted downtown, beating on some guys in a back alley. He’d also been seen uptown the same night though, strolling through Basalt Park. One girl was nearly certain that she’d gone to elementary school with Mando, but he’d mysteriously disappeared one day without explanation. Someone else was confident he was just a cop trying some weird shtick to go undercover. Then one person insisted he had a kid with him sometimes while another was trying to explain that he was actually a murderer. The rumors only became more ludicrous from there.
By the end of the discussion you only ascertained two things for certain. He went by the name Mando and he wore some kind of special helmet. Information you could have gotten by watching him pick up a drink at the Java Hut. Not nearly enough to warrant this level of fervor in your opinion.
From there, hearing about Mando was inescapable. You got home that night only to have your roommate and best friend, Layla, launch into theories about him. Within the week someone set up a social media page to try and track his location around campus via DMs fellow students sent in. That had struck you as invasive and unsettling, but the messages about him kept flooding in.
By pure chance, you had yet to actually see him for yourself. There weren't even any creep shots for you to look at. People had been trying to take photos of him, but he was like a ghost. In the time it took them to pull up their cameras he'd disappear. 
There wasn't even more concrete information about him beyond what you'd learned that first day. Just more and more speculation, a good amount of it made up purely for the shock factor. Another week slipped by, the semester picking up, and Mando news became standard in your day. There was always something new going around about him and as much as you tried to avoid it and focus on your studies, you couldn’t help but wonder about him yourself.
Who was this guy? Was this all some stunt or ‘social experiment’ that would be revealed by a sociology student at the end of the semester? Or was he a legitimate peculiarity, doomed to stick out like a sore thumb? You weren’t sure if you should hate him for making a big deal out of himself or pity him for all the unwarranted attention. Either way, you were sure that whenever you met this enigmatic Mando, you’d know.
×××××
You grumble looking at the submission form. The name and student ID information is blank again. You told Todd last week those fields needed to be made mandatory. How else were you supposed to know who to email when you end up with a no-show for the hour?
Looking further down you're pleased to note that they're at least a grad student. Despite the unfinished form, graduates almost never skip sessions like these. You're thrilled to have the opportunity to discuss something other than freshman composition for once. It's fun helping the wide-eyed freshies, but you can only go over basic comma rules so many times before you start to lose it a little.
There's a knock at the study room door and you look up only to be rendered speechless. It's him. Mando. With a kid on his hip. So Alissandra hadn’t been lying when she told you about the toddler she saw with him. Interesting. Continuing to take him in, you can’t help but focus on the obvious - the only thing you knew about him other than his supposed name, the helmet. 
It’s unlike anything you've seen before. You're fairly certain it's a motorcycle helmet, but it's been modified. Rather than the typical rounded shape, his is all sharp angles and flat at the front. It’s colored a sleek, shining chrome that gleams under the washed out fluorescent lighting. Most arresting is the way he's changed the face of the helmet. The cheeks dip inward at a sharp angle, creating deep, curved contours. His visor is a T of black glass in the center, entirely impossible to see through. It's intimidating and… kinda hot?
The little boy he's holding starts to wiggle in his grasp, physically demanding to be set down in the study room. Once his feet touch the floor, he immediately runs over and climbs into the chair next to you. He's a welcome distraction from his father’s? brother's? guardian's? commanding presence in the room.
The boy can't be older than three, smiling up at you with a wide toothy grin. His hair is covered by a green beanie with large floppy ears sewn onto it and he's wearing a little brown jacket with a sherpa collar. Maybe a bit too heavy for the early autumnal weather, but if the rumor that the kid rides on a motorcycle with Mando is true, it’s perfect. His eyes are large and brown, shining up at you with a slightly mischievous glint.
"Hello, what's your name?" you ask, smiling back at the child.
"Grogu," comes the reply, not from the kid, but from Mando.
You arch an eyebrow at him. He can't be serious with that name. "Grogu?" you ask.
He shrugs, placing his bag on the table. "I came home one day and he told his babysitter that was his name now. He won't respond to anything else. So, Grogu."
You look back to the bouncing toddler. He's still grinning, nodding along with what's been said about his name. They must not be lying then. Either that, or it was some elaborate prank between them and you would never be in on the joke. 
"Well okay, Grogu it is." 
You extend your hand out to Mando, offering your name alongside it. He offers a leather clad hand in return, giving you a firm handshake. You're pleased when he only gives your hand a gentle squeeze, not crushing it like so many other students have done. His gloves are unique as well, black with orange fingers, the leather well worn in. It's warm to the touch, his body heat radiating through the thick fabric. 
"Mando," he says, officially introducing himself as he takes the seat on your other side, across from Grogu.
"Mando," you repeat, cementing it as a truth from the rumor mill. "Got any other names?" You hope that comes across as casual and not intrusive. He hasn't even gone to remove his helmet, telling you he isn't a man who cares much for people prying into his business.
"No. Why?" Mando cocks his head slightly as he asks, the helmet adding an exaggerated look to the movement. He reaches into his bag, pulls out some crayons and a pad of paper, pushing them over to Grogu.
You shrug, trying not to think about how you heard his name might be David from someone in your composition course. "Just thought I'd ask. One hears many things around campus and it's hard to tell what's true or not."
"What do you mean?"
That question makes you pause. Surely he knows. Part of you is still convinced he’s doing this act on purpose, trying to gain notoriety for some reason. The way he asked though, something about it tells you that the poor man is clueless about the buzz he's caused.
"Mando, you're like the talk of the town right now. We only just met but I've heard plenty about you," you explain. It's hard to tell with the helmet on, but you're fairly sure he's shocked underneath. Grogu ignores you both, excitedly scribbling away on his paper.
"I'm fairly sure most of it's just rumor and speculation, but still. You're like a thing around campus," you add.
He's quiet for a moment, his laptop only half out of his bag. "Oh," he finally says. "I didn't know."
Grogu gives a happy shriek not a second later, breaking the awkward tension that had begun to creep into the room. He's beaming, holding up his crayola masterpiece. On the paper there is what appears to be a hastily drawn frog using every color in the box.
Mando returns to himself, pulling his laptop the rest of the way and continues to get set up. "Great job, kid. It looks good."
Most people would have said that dismissively, a platitude to get their child to stop bothering them. When Mando says it though, the authenticity is palpable. He said six words and you can hear the pride lacing them all together. It’s sweet, the obvious affection this clearly private man has for the toddler. 
You can’t help but wonder what his connection to Grogu actually is. The way he spoke just then, if you had to put your money on it, you’d say father. The kicker then though is if he’s biological or not. And if not, then how else does a grad student get strapped with a three year old? Thinking about all the potential scenarios is enough to make your head hurt.
You’re also left wondering where all the more violent rumors about him are coming from. His tenderness is so readily on display that it’s hard to imagine the man before you choking someone because they cut him in line at the local froyo shop. He’s mysterious and gives off a vaguely dangerous vibe, sure, but less than five minutes around him and the kid and it’s obvious he’s no threat to you. He’s just a guy trying to get his assignments done for class, same as everyone else.
Your stomach still catches in your throat as Mando starts unexpectedly tugging off his gloves. From what you’d heard, he never takes anything off: not his jacket, not his gloves, and certainly not his helmet. All anyone knows of his true appearance on campus is that he’s obviously male with rumors flying around about everything else including simple attributes, like the color of his skin. Now, here he is, casually revealing this groundbreaking information to you.
His hands move fluidly, pulling off each glove in just a few easy tugs. His skin matches the heat you felt from them just minutes ago, a warm golden tan, with a few faded lines of scars worn in. Watching him type, pulling his paper up for you to discuss, you feel a deep and sudden ache to have his hands touch you again. A simple handshake is no longer enough. Every stroke of the keys is measured, deliberate, and leaves you wondering how he would use those fingers on you.
“This is what I have so far.”
His voice snaps you back to reality, a quick wave of shame washing over you. Where did all of that come from? It was just a man’s hands for heaven’s sake, certainly not something you should be horny about at two in the afternoon. Not to mention that he came in here looking for your help, not wanting you to start fantasizing about his hands expertly working you over.
You clear your throat and tear your eyes away from the offending appendages. “Great, let me just read the introduction here so I can get an idea for what you’re writing about.”
You settle into working with him easily. His paper is already well-written, just needing tweaks here and there to bring it to the next level. It’s nice working with him. He’s attentive, clearly listening to everything you have to say and taking it into account. He doesn’t even try to challenge you as some of the more macho male students are wont to do. By the end of the session, you can’t help but wish all of your time as a tutor was that easy.
“Thank you,” he says sincerely, tucking his laptop away. “You really helped.”
You smile at him, thrilled with his genuine complement. “Of course, that’s what I’m here for.”
He finishes packing up his and Grogu’s things, with you silently lamenting as his gloves slide back on. It still feels like a ridiculous thought, but he really does have beautiful hands. There’s a small tap on your arm and you look to your left to see Grogu patiently waiting. He’s offering something to you, paper outstretched in his little hands.
“Thank you,” you say, taking the sheet from him. You look at it to see a frog carefully drawn on the page. It’s not the same as the first one he showed you and Mando, this one more deliberate and thoughtful. The colors are still just as varied, but it’s obvious he took more time to think about where he was using each one. You can’t help but smile at his small masterpiece.
“It looks great, buddy. I’ll keep it forever,” you tell him. Grogu beams at your praise, excitedly looking over to Mando. 
Mando nods at the kid. “Yeah kid, I heard her too.” He turns his head towards you. “Thank you again. I’d take good care of that drawing. He’ll never forgive you if he finds out you got rid of it.”
“Does that mean I’ll be seeing you again?” Your own boldness takes you by surprise. You have no idea where that came from, how those words spilled without a second thought. Part of you is already cringing at Mando’s potential reaction.
He surprises you once again though, holding a hand out for Grogu to take. Shouldering his backpack, you hear an amused huff of air from under the helmet. “Yeah, mesh’la, I’ll see you around.”
There isn’t a chance to reply as Mando turns, escorting his tiny charge out of the room with him. You’re a little dumbstruck, now equally surprised with him as you had been with yourself. 
And what was that name he just called you? Mesh’la? You don’t even know what language that could have been, much less the meaning. Something about his tone when he said it tells you it’s a good thing though, that he’s not secretly calling you rude names in some unknown language. You can’t help but wonder if you’ll ever get to find out.
.
.
.
taglist: @honestly-shite
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boldlyvoid · 4 years ago
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Amoreena | chapter four
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Chapter Four
summary: Heaven is a real place and it's located exactly 14.6 miles away from the FBI, Quantico Headquarters. Off behind a small park, under a fantastical willow tree surrounded by wildflowers, in every colour young minds can imagine.
Don't forget, heaven also comes with angels.
Warnings: fluff, hurt/comfort, depressed spencer, reader has a daughter, falling in love, strangers to lovers, library smut, oral (female receiving) lots and lots of fluff
word count: 3.9k
from the beginning <3
Everyone at work was very understanding. Almost all of them saw it coming, he was taking more sick days than normal and he wasn’t putting up a fight anymore when the 30 days was required to take rolled around. They were profilers after all.
He arrives on Thursday morning to pack his desk. The team is finally home and all together to wish him well on his future journey, giving him hugs and kisses as they each visited his desk.
They had already replaced him, Will LaMontagne was giving the FBI a shot, finally. Spending more time with JJ, the kids were old enough now to accept both of them working. And Kate Callahan was back, now that her baby wasn’t a baby anymore either.
Even Penelope and Derek showed up, bringing a cake that said ‘happy retirement’ written across the frosting. They were happy for him, they shared the same excitement he had. There was a thrill in his eyes again as they asked him about his plans.
“Tell us about this Y/N you met,” Emily cut into the laughter to get to the serious topics.
“I’ve been going to the park a lot recently and I found this little reading nook by a pond. She was there with her daughter and they invited me over to their picnic,” he realized how fake it all sounded as he continued to speak. “Her daughter is wonderful and super smart, I took them to the Smithsonian on Sunday and I’m completely smitten.”
Everyone swooned, happy to see him finally finding someone that makes him gush like this. It had been a very, very long time since Spencer has told any of them about a person, let alone someone he was in love with.
“She is wonderful,” Penelope added, “she makes the best tea and she lives in a literal Disney movie.”
Spencer laughed, “yeah she does. They probably read more books than I have, they make so many references all the time and they even dress up for what they’re reading, it’s amazing.”
They were amazed by how giddy he was, unable to stop smiling at him, “here we dressed up for the museum, I was milo from Atlantis and she was the old man in Tarzan,” he pulled his phone from his pocket to show them the photo.
It was his background now, Y/N sent it to him when he finally went back to his place Monday night, knowing he’d miss them. Not wanting him to be alone.
He was beyond proud to show them the photo, beaming from ear to ear as they all complimented his attire.
“She looks like you,” Kate added, “must be the genius gene,” she added, making awkward eye contact with JJ as they both clocked it.
“She’s exactly like me, that’s why Y/N likes having me around, it’s good for Amoreena to feel normal with the way our brains work,” he spoke about her like she was his own. Forever grateful to have her in his life.
“So when are you proposing?” Matt teased him. Knowing the feeling of love like this all too well with his perfect wife and a handful of children.
“I’m not trying to jinx anything,” Spencer admitted. “I actually have a job interview at the Library she works at later, so I’ll be around here a lot more.”
“He’ll be moved in by the end of the month,” Tara smiled, proud of him and the courage it takes to follow your heart.
“I’m going to miss you guys,” he presses his lips together softly, nodding as he avoids eye contact with them. “But you can call me whenever you need my brain, I guess.”
Hugs were exchanged as Spencer had to leave, Derek even offered to drive him back to his apartment to help with 4 boxes of books from his desk, and to have a bit of a talk like they always do.
“It’s surprisingly easy to be a dad, all you have to do is be there and love them,” Derek shared a tidbit of advice
“She told me she doesn’t mind me being like Amoreena’s dad, but I don’t think I can yet. I want her to decide when she wants me in that role.”
Spencer explains his feelings the easiest to Derek. Like he was already in his mind and knew the thoughts before he said them, Derek was never mad or disappointed in him. He loved him fully, and Spencer loved him right back.
“Like when you chose Gideon?”
Spencer can only nod, it’s still too sad to think about him being gone. “You know what it’s like, you love your father but there are other people in your life who fit the role better.”
“Yeah,” Derek agreed. “You’re going to be great, regardless of the name she uses when she thinks of you.”
“Thank you,” Spencer smiled as they pulled up to his apartment, “you should bring Hank to meet the animals this weekend sometime.”
“He’d love that,” Derek smiled back at him, patting his shoulder lightly. “I’m really proud of you.”
“I wouldn’t have been able to do it if you didn’t first,” he admits. “You’re a strong man who decided to put his happiness first, I can be too.”
“You sure as hell can,” Derek wrapped him up in one last hug before sending him off to live that best life he was talking about.
The only person who didn’t know yet was his mother. He wasn’t sure how to tell her, he knew she’d be proud of him regardless but that anxiety of disappointing her never went away even now that he was 40.
“Spencer!”
“Hey mom,” he smiled when she picked up. “How are you?”
“I’m fantastic, Marge and I are going on a walk later to see some ducks that were born, I really love it here Spencer,” he could hear it in her voice. She was much more joyful when she was surrounded by friends.
“I’m glad to hear it.”
“you sound happy, what’s going on?”
She was his mother, after all, she could know exactly how he’s feeling from just hearing him breathe or being in the same room as him. It was like a superpower, she always knew what was going on.
“I met someone,” he can’t help but smile. “And I quit the FBI to have a family.”
“You’re kidding?” He couldn’t read her tone, not sure if she was surprised or disappointed.
“Her name is Y/N, she has a 7-year-old daughter named Amoreena who is exactly like how I was as a child, you’d really like them,” he explains and he can hear his mother's smile from his end of the phone.
“I would love to meet them, you can bring them to visiting hours next Tuesday?” Diana offered, genuinely happy for him in a way that made his heart burst.
“I’ll see if they’re free and I’ll let you know.”
“I love you, Spencer,” she reminded him. “It’s nice to hear you’re happy, that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you.”
“I love you too, thank you, mom, for everything.”
She hangs up before they can get too emotional, leaving Spencer inside his sad little apartment all by himself. Taking the opportunity to pack his overnight bag for Y/N and pick out some books from his collection to show Amoreena.
There’s an envelope sticking out of one of his books that manages to catch his attention, taking it out to see his name written on it in Gideon’s handwriting. He almost forgot he had this, how important the words were.
Spencer,
I knew it would be you who came to the cabin to check on me. I’m sorry the explanation couldn’t be better, Spencer. I’m sorry it doesn’t make more sense, but I’ve already told you. I just don’t understand any of it anymore.
I guess I’m just looking for it again, for the belief I had in college, the belief I had when I first met Sara and it all seemed so right.
The belief in happy endings. When you find that, never let it go, Spencer.
Don’t let this job do to you what it did to me, get out and get a life when you can. I have faith in you, till I see you again, take care, son.
Gideon
He walked over to the window then, seeing a beautiful red and brown bird perched on his fire escape. He couldn’t help but smile, “I found my Sara, thank you,” he whispers to the bird who turns its head to the side before flying off.
Gideon always did have the best timing and the best advice.
“Y/N, your one o’clock is here to see you,” the receptionist at the Library said over the phone, hanging up and returning her attention to Spencer, “she’ll be with you in a moment.”
“Doctor Reid,” he hears her voice as she rounds the corner, appearing behind a stack of books in the most beautiful blue dress he’s ever seen. “Lovely to see you again.”
“You too,” he smiles.
“Right this way,” she can’t help but smile as she escorts him to her office.
“I don’t normally consider people who don’t send in a resume, but I have a feeling you’re going to be good at this,” she teased him as he sat at her desk.
“Allison is going on maternity leave in a few weeks, so you won’t start until she has the baby. If you’re serious about wanting this position, it’s only Monday through Thursday, 9 to 2:30.”
“You’re not going to ask me anything?”
“I don’t know if you know this, but the literary historian and I get to spend a lot of time together, I’d rather hire someone I know I already like,” she smiled again. “And it would be nice to see you every day without a 7-year-old taking all your attention away from me.”
“You just want to live out the fantasy of kissing someone in the encyclopedia section, don’t you?” He teased her right back, making her blush. “I knew it.”
“Sue me!” She laughed, and he finally understood what tinker bell meant when she said farries are born from the purest laughter.
He was in love with her right then and there, he was sure of it.
It had been under a week and yet as he stared at her, hearing her wonderful laughter and seeing her beautiful smile, knowing she wanted to spend time with him, that she genuinely liked him and none of this was one-sided, it made him fall harder than he thought he could.
“Come on then,” he stands abruptly, taking her hand and pulling her out the door.
She tries to giggle quietly as she follows him all the way back to the quietest section of the library. Most of the books on the shelves didn’t even have bar codes because they haven’t been checked out since the 60’s, no one needs them but they can’t seem to part with them.
She backs up against the shelf and pulls him into her space, he drops her hands and holds her face instead, looking at her beautiful eyes as they sparkled in the fluorescent lighting.
“I was expecting this to be hungrier than this when I imagined it all for all these years,” she whispers, biting her lip to force her smile back.
“You’re just so fucking beautiful,” is all he can say, brushing her cheeks with his thumbs lightly a few times before finally placing his lips against hers, ever so gently.
Her hands stretched around his back, pulling him in closer till their bodies are pressed together and then she’s kissing him deeper. Breathing in through her nose like she’s trying to keep him there forever, her fingernails dig into his shirt and he knows she wants more.
He slid his thigh between hers, opening his mouth to give her all the access she wanted and letting her take control of the speed. She wasn’t kidding when she said she expected it to be hungrier. She was kissing him like it was the first time she has had contact with another human being in years, and it just might have been. She said she was single for a while before Amoreena, probably the whole time since as well.
“Spencer,” she took a moment to gasp for air, breathing against his lips as he did the same. “Can we?”
He kisses along her jaw then, moving towards her ear to whisper, “do what? Use your words.”
“Anything, just touch me please, god it’s been 12 years,” she begged as quietly as possible, tugging at his hair as he nibbled on her earlobe.
He kissed down her neck making his way towards her chest. Holding her by the hips now, she arched her back into the shelf as he kissed all the way to where her dress started to cover her breasts but he didn’t stop. Kissing over her clothes as he dropped down to his knees in front of her.
He undid his tie, slipping it off his neck and handing it to her, “in case you need to scream into something.”
She held it in her hand for a second, registering what he just said and moaning softly in response as she held it closer to her lips, he took that as a yes and slipped under her dress.
She was wearing just a pair of regular cut pink underwear, not expecting this in the slightest when she got ready this morning. He kissed her over top of the fabric, spreading her legs so that he could kiss the insides of her thighs as she tried to desperately grind into his face. grazing his teeth against her skin as she shivers, thighs shaking in anticipation.
He kisses right where her clit should be under the fabric, knowing he’s correct when she whimpers around the tie he handed her. It's muffled and adorable as he kisses her again and again, knowing she wants more and teasing her gently.
He pulls her panties to the side, mesmerized by how perfect she is for only a second before returning to the task at hand. Being the first person to pleasure her in years, wanting her to have the best time possible.
With one hand he holds her panties back, using his other to slowly swipe a single finger through her folds to see just how wet she was. Smirking against her thigh as he’s able to slip right in.
“Please,” he hears her whisper, lifting the dress up so she could look at what he’s doing.
“Such a good girl for me,” he pressed the words against her skin.
He spreads her legs even further, resting one of them on his shoulder as he dives in, sucking her clit into his mouth abruptly as he pumps his single finger in and out. She jerks her hips at the sudden contact, stuffing the tie in her mouth and biting down as she whimpers.
He knows what he’s doing, where all the pleasure spots are and what feels the best on most women. Searching around and trying different tongue movements, memorizing the sounds she makes and attempting to hear them again and again, knowing it means she’s enjoying herself.
That’s all he wanted, to please her. Not even realizing how hard he was as he continues to eat her out furiously in the back corner of the DC Public Library. He forgets they’re even in public entirely as he moans against her clit, sending shockwaves through her body.
She’s quaking then, holding onto the top of his head with one hand as the other grips a shelf. She’s panting into the material of the tie, the hot breath making its way through the fabric and stopping the whorish moans he knew she’d make. It had been too long since someone treated her right.
He added a second finger then, wanting to push her over the edge as he curled them, finding her g spot and caressing it with every thrust of his fingers. She clenched around him then, a high-pitched noise left her mouth as she finished around him.
He couldn’t help but smirk, re-moving his fingers and cleaning them off in his mouth. Releasing them with a pop before dragging his tongue along her one last time. Gathering up everything she released and placing her panties back over her nicely.
He kissed over her underwear one last time before fixing her dress and standing up, “did I manage to fulfill the dream?”
She couldn’t help but laugh, looking like she was coming down from a real high, not just an orgasm. She pulled him in close and held onto him for dear life as she continued to catch her breath, and then her hand started to wander.
“Nope,” Spencer whispered, moving her hand away from his aching cock. “As much as I want to, I’d rather fuck you at home.”
“Home huh?” She teased him, kissing his cheek softly as she pulled back.
"I love you," he whispers against her ear, without a fear in the world that she didn't feel the same way.
"I love you too, Spencer."
They couldn’t stop smiling at each other, it felt surreal to be this happy. He kissed her a few more times, staying hidden in the back corner until the blood in his body let this dick and went back to where it was supposed to be.
She just held him in her arms, leaning back against the shelves as they kissed softly, running her hands through his hair gently, over and over. She whispered a few thank you’s to him, letting him know it was everything she waited for.
It was truly perfect.
Amoreena was so happy to see him back at the farm when she got off the bus, she missed him during the few days he wasn’t there.
She asked him to help with her homework, her teacher assigning them an “all about me” project to showcase their growth at the end of the year ceremony. It was almost June, she only had a few weeks left before she was off for the summer and free to show him around the whole kingdom.
Y/N brought out a box of craft supplies and a collection of photos. Showing Spencer every single moment of her and Amoreena’s life.
From her first sonogram to the first bump photo, she had and every maternity shot on the farm you could think of, to the day she was born, her first bath, first steps, chocolate cake shoved on her nose at her first birthday, everything. He felt like he watched her grow up in the blink of an eye, staring at all the photos while Y/N and Amoreena made a plan for her project.
She did look a lot like him, in some instances, she even looked like his mom. There was a look Diana would get when she was intrigued with something, or when she was trying to figure something out. She’d bite her tongue and tilt her head, and it was exactly what Amoreena did.
He never thought he’d see a child-like himself this early, he always expected someone to contact him at 18 and surprise him like Rossi. He really never, ever thought he'd have a child in his life who he was blessed with watching grow up. He never believed someone would have a kid so much like him and allow him to see the world through their eyes. He was amazed by how lucky he got, to be brought into an already happy family that wanted him, they didn’t just need him.
There was no need for a father in Amoreena’s life, she was happily living her life with her grandparents and her mother, explaining to him that she had a bunch of aunts and uncles, plus 15 cousins and they all lived close too. Her life was full of people to love her, and yet she wanted Spencer to love her too.
“Can I put the photo of us at the museum on here too?” She asked Y/N, looking at Spencer to see if he was okay with it too. “I already told my friends that you’re my dad.”
He felt like he couldn’t breathe, he didn’t want to cry in front of her so instead he just stopped all movement inside of his body and held it in. Looking at Y/N who was also a little emotional as Amoreena went back to looking through the photos.
Amoreena didn’t even notice how their expressions changed, she didn’t understand the weight of the words as she said them. She was oblivious to the hole in Spencer’s heart that she was filling with glitter glue, making him feel like he was whole again.
“Yeah,” he finally managed to speak. “I’d love to be on your project.”
“I know you said we don’t need dads but I kinda want one,” Amoreena’s soft expression made his heart melt even more. He was putty in her hands, willing to be whatever she wanted from him as long as he could.
“When did you say that?” Y/N asked softly, confused as to where she was when they had a conversation.
“The other morning at breakfast, um, my father left when I was little. It was just me and my wonderful mother until I was 21, then I found someone to call Dad. His name was Jason Gideon, he was my mentor and he made he feel like I was smart and loved,” he smiled, letting her know he genuinely meant it. “There’s a big difference between being a father and being someone's dad.”
“What’s that?” Amoreena’s innocent mind running wild as she tried to figure out his meaning.
“Anyone can be a father when two adults make a baby,” he said softly, making eye contact with Y/N as she blushed. Knowing where he was going with this. “But dads are special, they’re the people who are supposed to make you feel safe and loved. A person who you can turn to for advice and know he’ll love you no matter what you have to say. Dad’s are supposed to love you forever, regardless of what happens in life. Just like your mom does already.”
Amoreena leaned into his chest, pressing her head against him softly. He wrapped his arms around her gently, giving her the tiniest hug he’s ever given. “I pick you then, you’re the best guy I know and I think that means you’d be a good dad.”
Y/N silently cried, getting up from the table and walking into the kitchen so Amoreena wouldn’t see her sob. Spencer tried to widen his eyes so the tears he was generating would slip back into his tear ducts. Not wanting to cry as she held him.
“I’d love to be your dad,” he whispered, kissing her head softly as she held him tighter. “But first I’ve gotta check on your mom,” he whispered into her hair. Watching her pull away and look for where she was.
“Okay,” Amoreena shrugged, returning to her project as he wandered into the kitchen.
She was leaning against the counter when he walked in, her dress pulled up over her face as she cried into the material. Wiping her face as Spencer walked in and looking at him with the happiest smile.
She was laughing into her tears then, shaking her head as she sobbed, “why am I crying?”
He laughed then too, pulling her into a hug and spinning her around gently as she kept laughing. Her face buried into his neck as she smiled, he set her down gently so he could pull her into a kiss.
Her cheeks were all wet as he held her face, peppering kisses to her lips as they both tried to stop smiling.
“I’m going to miss hearing her call you Spencer,” Y/N whispered.
“Me too,” he giggled again. “But dad does have a good ring to it.”
tag list:
@shemarmooresfedora
@spencers-dria
@spookyspence
@reidsfish
@manuosorioh
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lemonjoonah · 5 years ago
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Level of Restraint (M)
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Pairings: Jimin x Reader, Namjoon x Reader, Taehyung x Reader Word Count: 13K  Rating: M  Genre: Thriller, smut, office AU, BDSM AU  Warnings(contains spoilers): This story contains very dark themes and may not be suited to all readers, protected sex (vag+anal), threesome, double penetration, bondage (including partial suspension), dom/sub roles (reader is a sub), praise kink, mild degration, sensory deprivation, spanking, fingering, cum feeding, mild breathplay, sex toys, exhibitionism, voyeurism, discussion of safe word, Namjoon is a professional dom/sex worker, referenced discrimination of sex workers and those who participate in BDSM, public outing of sexual practices, inappropriate workplace relationships, referenced death of minor character, yandere character, misidentified sexual partner, manipulation, bribery, blackmail, implied stalking, violence.
Summary: As a co-founder of a consulting firm you can’t afford to be caught in a scandal. So flirting with your secretary, Jimin, would be out of the question. Giving your client’s son, Taehyung, a reference for a sexual partner would be reprehensible. And having regular paid BDSM sessions with your dominant, Namjoon? That would be a career ending disgrace. It’s too bad the only restraints in life you approve of are the cuffs that bind you to the bed, because there are those hiding in the dark waiting to take advantage. 
A/N: A huge thank you to everyone who supported me while writing this story. It was hard not to question the level of darkness this tale descends to. In the end your assurances and aid are the only reason this fic made it to fruition. Upon reading you might notice several thematic references to the ‘Fall of the House of Usher,’ by Edgar Allan Poe  and the Greek myth of Tantalus. They are two of my favourite tales, and together they greatly represent the darkened desires depicted in this oneshot.
...
8:55 am KNJ: Good girl.
Your heart races upon receiving the response you’ve been waiting for all morning. The sender had requested proof that you were wearing his last minute gift, and you were happy to oblige with the lewd photo. Finally seeing his simple praise for your efforts makes you grin from ear to ear, as you enter the front door to your workplace’s building. The message will be enough to get you through the day, high on the thought of his praise while his present is wrapped tightly around your ribs. Though the garment may be confining, you’ll endure anything to receive those two simple words.
Reluctantly glancing up from your phone you look ahead to see the elevator closing.
“Hold the door!” You call out, making a run for it. Mercifully the gap between the doors widens allowing you to climb in before it begins the long haul up. Glancing over to your savoir, you find your secretary standing at the panel. “Thanks Jimin.”
“No problem,” he responds with a warm smile. “What floor do you need?” Joking as he pushes the button labelled 14. 
You playfully shove his arm while trying to catch your breath. Had he left you down on the first floor there's no telling how long it would be before the elevator returned. The building in which you work has been down to one lift for a couple days, with no promise of when the other will be fixed. It’s not a surprise really, ever since you moved into this complex three years ago you’ve been plagued with breakdowns and shotty utilities. Considering how opulent  the tower is, with it’s gilded elevators and halls adorned in finery you expected better, but people often overlook flaws when they have something pleasant to stare at. Allowing the management to slack on some of the failings of the structure. 
“Do you think you could send maintenance another message?” You ask your hand clutching your waist to comfort the stitch in your side, no doubt a result of the corset concealed beneath your clothes. 
“Consider it done.” Jimin replies, pulling out his phone. “Are you okay Miss?” He asks, your heavy breathing failing to go unnoticed judging from the concern in his voice.
“Fine.” You quickly change the subject, not wanting to linger on your current state. “What’s on my schedule for today?”
“You have a consultation with Mr. Kim of HOC Industries in an hour-” 
“Really?” You cut in, confused about the sudden change. “But I just saw him a few weeks ago. Why is he coming in?”
“He didn’t say, I just got a message last night from him stating he required an appointment immediately.”
“That’s not a good sign...” You groan, wondering what information had dropped to spur a need for such an urgent response. 
“Afterwards you have an early lunch with journalist Min. Followed by a one o’clock appointment with Jeon Jungkook to go over the new web layout. And the rest of office hours are slated as admin.” 
You cringe over the prospect of bookkeeping. Your accountant’s involvement in a recent accident, placed him on an extended leave of absence. Since you are the only other member of your small staff qualified to balance the books, this leaves you burdened with his duties. “Remind me later to make a posting for a temp position.”
“Noted,” Jimin remarks as he continues to scroll through his phone. “Oh and don’t forget, you also have your monthly massage appointment with Kim Namjoon tonight.”
You smile at the thought, you would never forget a booking with him, especially since he’s the reason for your current state of breathlessness. You’ve been counting down the days until you get to see him, with only a few hours left you can barely contain yourself. To everyone who asks he’s a masseur, but the services he provides are far more aggressively intimate than a standard massage. You force a small cough to cover the involuntary moan starting to escape. 
“Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, just tired. I didn’t sleep well last night.” It’s not a complete lie, with the stress from work there have been a lot of restless nights recently, your appointment tonight should help to relieve a bit of that tension. There’s a loud groan as the elevator comes to a stop at your floor. You look up to the top of the lift and over to Jimin with worry, both of you stepping off with haste once the doors open.
Your entire office space consists of only a few rooms. You and Hoseok had started this company only a few years ago, focusing on corporate consultations regarding public image and approval. All things considered you’re doing rather well. With your negotiation tactics, Hoseok's philanthropy efforts, and Yoongi on retainer as your media source, you’ve been able to take on several giant corporations.    
As you walk down the hall you find the temperature starting to rise, and upon stepping into your’s and Jimin’s shared office, you’re hit with a wave of heat. You whisper your curses as you check the thermostat which has been jacked to its highest setting and refuses to shift back down. 
Giving up on the system you turn to the windows, but even those are a struggle after being neglected for so long. You call out to Jimin for assistance, waiting no more than a second before he is by your side. But even with his help you only manage to open them to the grand extent of a sliver before you’re forced to give in. At least with your office door open there’s now a small draft pervading the space.
“I guess I’ll send maintenance another message,” Jimin chuckles.
“You don’t think he’s trying to push us out do you?” You inquire about the building owner, and one of your own clients. You don’t usually make such bold claims, but with Jimin’s ties to the dubious man, it’s hard not to ask.
“I wouldn’t put it past him. Though I think this is more likely due to his lack of regard for the workmanship going into his properties.”
You nod overlooking the now stuffy room which holds both your desks. It serves its purpose with a sufficient amount of daylight from the large windows, and a partial wall giving you each a bit of privacy. You’d rather not have to leave this building and the status that comes with it, but there seems to be no end with these faulty appliances. “So much for being the height of sophistication.”
While you settle into your workspace you’re already dying from the heat, a sweater and camisole overtop your corset was not the best choice for today, but you didn’t want to risk anyone noticing the garment beneath. As you shuffling through your newsite tabs Jimin readies the coffee maker, returning to you with the first dose of your daily caffeine needs. 
“You’re a saint.”
Jimin smiles brightly at your compliment, living for the praise as always. “Do you want some ice on the side?” He laughs as you tug on your sweater to stop it from sticking to your skin.
“Only if I can rub it all over.” You sigh jokingly as you take a sip of the hot beverage.
“I’d be happy to assist.” His smirk and piercing gaze look to be downright serious, his flirtation hitting a new high today.    
“Sorry Jimin, I already have a massage appointment later. I think Namjoon would be very upset if you took his job from him.”
“That’s too bad.” He mutters, his lip still curled into a smile before stepping away from your desk. “Let me know if you change your mind. I’d be more than willing to compensate him for his loss.” Jimin has never been shy about his attraction to you, a desire which you most certainly reciprocate, but your own company policies keep the both of you tied to flirtatious word play. With Jimin winning more often than not when it comes to provocative sentiments.
He hangs around on your side of the room, straightening the chairs and stray flies, while you continue your search for whatever prompted the need for your haste meeting. At last you find it, on the featured articles of a prominent celeb news site, with the headline reading, ‘The Dark Desires of the Kim Family Heir.’
Much to your chagrin the issue isn’t regarding your client, but his son. As much as you try to stay out of personal family matters, sometimes they are unavoidable, and this looks to be one of those cases.
‘Kim Taehyung has long been considered one of the most eligible bachelors. He has it all, money, power, and a spot on every top ten most attractive list, but those who have been with him more intimately say he craves something more...’ 
Your mouth falls open in horror as one of Taehyung's former partners exposes their most intimate moments with him. ‘The Gucci suits and custom cologne are just an expensive mask for the darkness beneath. He would ask to be tied, bound to the bed and struck. He wanted pain and pleasure...’ The further you read the more your chest tightens. You’d rather not jump to conclusions, but you wouldn’t be surprised if it’s true. A fact which must make it all the more painful for Taehyung. You can only imagine what he must be going through, to have such private details exposed and exploited. He’s currently living your worst nightmare, a societal judgement over one's deepest desires. For professional reasons it would probably be best to stay out of this private matter, but you can’t in good consciousness let him suffer alone.
“That bad?” Jimin asks.
“Yeah...” You cover your mouth to hide your shuddering breath, blinking away the tears that threaten to spill on Taehyung's behalf.
Jimin shuffles in behind your desk with you. By lowering himself to read off your screen, his face falls next to yours. His hands come to rest on your shoulders as he leans in to eye the article in question. You should shoo him away, but you can’t help but be curious of his response to those who engage in such practices. As his eyes scan the page his grip on you tightens, his breathing erratic just like yours, with a whispered “‘Fuck,” escaping his lips. 
“Are we interrupting something?” A voice calls out from your open door. 
Your head snaps over in shock to find your next appointment waiting for you, with his son in tow. You jump up pushing Jimin back so you can greet your guests properly. “Mr. Kim! No not at all,  please come in. This must be-”
“Taehyung...” The younger man mutters as he walks in, slumping down in one of the chairs in front of your desk. His sunglasses are still in place, the smell of spirits wafts over you along with the spicy scent of what must be his referenced cologne. He’s a sight to behold, a person of his caliber could make a fortune off his looks alone; he wouldn’t even need a drop of his father's fortune. But of course, that would have been before this public outing of his bedroom tendencies. Now he’s more likely to be seen as a pariah rather than an asset.
Directing the elder to the seat next to him, you take your own once again as Jimin retreats to his desk. You don’t even have the chance to exchange pleasantries before Mr. Kim launches into the purpose of their visit. “I assume you saw the article about my son?”
“I did, but-”
“And? What can we do about it? How can we spin it? Our stocks have already taken a hit.”
“Your son just had a serious breach in personal privacy...” You pause hoping that he’ll have some semblance of a realization that he is not the victim here, instead he simply waits for you to continue. Attempt to hold in your dismay, you give him the only answer you can, “Sue for defamation if you’d like, but whether they are printing fact or fiction the damage is done. The press is still focusing on your family due to your early misdealings in your company. I would argue that if you turn the view of operations around then there is a very good chance that the media will start to back off personal affairs.”
“You can’t expect me to twiddle my thumbs and wait. My shareholders are currently questioning his ability to lead, they might seek to replace him.”
“Good.” Taehyung mutters. “If those prudes have a problem with me, I’d rather not have to work with them.”
You bite your lip to conceal a snort of laughter.  Mr. Kim fails to notice but his son seems to have caught your slip, taking off his glasses, he pierces you with a strong gaze.
Kim senior starts up again looking for sympathy and a way out, “Do you know how many of his flings I’ve had to pay off in the past-”
“Maybe you should just stick to your own business.” Taehyung eyes his father darkly.
“They made it my business when they started squealing to the press about what kind of man you are.”
You try to rein the situation in, this battle between father and son having no place in your office. “Mr. Kim! I would actually like to speak to your son for a moment. We can see if there’s a possible remedy for this... exposure.” You stand up, calling over the wall for your secretary "Jimin? Would you mind taking Mr. Kim to see Hoseok?” You turn back to your elder client, practically pushing him out the door into your secretaries’s care. “Jung Hoseok has been continuing his work on your company's philanthropic efforts. I’m sure he would love to show you what he has done with your portfolio.”
“Do you need me to come right back Miss?” Jimin asks with a pleading stare, his eyes flicker over to the young man still slumped in his seat.
“No I think we’ll be okay for a bit.” You mutter to him quietly as Mr. Kim proceeds down the hall. “Just keep him away for a few minutes.”
Once they're both gone you sit back down across from Taehyung with a sigh.
“So are your going to talk some sense into me?” He drawls with disdain.
“Fuck no,” you scoff, rummaging through your drawer. “Can I get you anything coffee, water... advil?”  You finally pull out the bottle of pain relievers and offer one to him as you take one yourself, your head ready to explode in frustration over his father. 
He tilts his head looking somewhat surprised, “So why did you send him away then?”
“I thought you could use a break. I’ve worked with many people like your father, they all want things done their way, and you’ll never be able to tell them otherwise. He’ll never admit to his faults, and the fact that he’s the real reason the media is all over you. So as long as you don’t tattle on me, we both can make it through this meeting with him thinking that he’s won.”
“Deal,” Taehyung agrees while he chuckles at your ploy. 
“Are you sure you don’t want anything?” You offer once again.
“Actually I’ll take some advil.”
“I thought you might.” You poor him glass from the cooler and offer up the pill. When his sleeve pulls back to reach for the cup you can’t help but notice the glaring red evidence of a rope abrasion on his wrist. While he throws back the pain killer, you take another sip of your coffee rolling the bitterness over your tongue before breaching the difficult subject. “It can’t be easy to have the press prying into every aspect of your private life.”
“It’s not so much that they pry, but...” Taehyung hesitates, his brow furrows as his fingers run through his hair tugging on the strands between his fingers.  “People know that they can go to them with a story and make money off any relations I have with them. And the press will gladly pay top dollar for what they have to offer.”
“The story is not a complete fabrication then?” You already know it’s not judging from his father's response and the marks on his arm, you just need to hear him say it. 
“No, it’s mostly true.” He admits, watching your reaction.
“Then it would seem that your desires might be thought unconventional by many of your past partners?”
Taehyung nods, taking another sip of his water. 
“From one unconventional individual to another,” you pause waiting for your own admission to sink in. To your delight Taehyung immediately perks up listening attentively as you continue. “There are more discreet ways to fill those needs.”
“Are you offering?” He asks, raising a brown along with the corner of his lips.
“No, I doubt that I would be very good at meeting your cravings, since we both hunger the same type of... attention.” You smile back at him, rejoicing in your mutual secret. “But I do have a friend who will take very good care of you. I’m going to give you a name and phone number, it’s up to you if you want to contact them, but I can assure you any conversations or actions between you and them will be kept strictly confidential. It’s not cheap,” you explain, but doubt that’ll be a problem for him. “But I assure you it’s safe and private.”
Taehyung can barely get the information from you fast enough once you jot it down. His hands, reaching for the sheet, accidentally knock over your coffee instead, sending the drink in your direction and staining your sweater. “I’m so sorry, here let me help you.” Taehyung jumps up and runs and grabs napkins from the coffee station. 
“It’s fine really.” You assure him, making an attempt to stop him as he starts to blot the saturated material. 
Unfortunately it’s at this moment that Jimin walks in to see your precarious state. He stands there for a moment in silence before explaining the reason for his return. “Mr. Kim said he needs to leave soon, Miss. He wanted to see if you two were... finished.” There’s glare set in his eyes for Taehyung's forwardness.
“Yeah, be right there, just one second.” You turn back to Taehyung, exchanging the damp napkin in his hand for the paper you had just written on. “Think about it, I hope you’ll give him a call. I don’t give out his information unless I think it will be of help to someone.”
“Kim Namjoon,” Taehyung mutters quietly while reading the slip. “If I were to go see him, would I find you there too?” He looks back up at you, biting his lip after posing his query.
“Likely not, he keeps his sessions very private, but you can always discuss your...” You glance over to Jimin who is still waiting, and well within earshot. “Preferences with him.”
“Then I’ll consider it, thank you.”
After seeing Mr. Kim and his son off, you're left to deal with the stain on your sweater, with only fifteen minutes before you have to leave for your lunch appointment. “Jimin could you call Yoongi and let him know I’m running a little late? I need to stop by my apartment on the way.”
“No need, I’ve got an extra shirt here.” He pulls out one of his own from his desk. “ I know it’s a men’s fit, but I think we can make it work.” 
“Why do you keep that here?” You laugh. He only looks at you and the stain with a raised brow, no words needed to prove his point. “Never mind, stupid question, but I can’t take your shirt Jimin.”
“I insist, go put it on.” He forces it into your hands as you double check your watch, your time constraints leaving you with little choice. 
Stepping behind the dividing wall, you strip down to your camisole, breathing a sigh of relief that the beverage hadn’t seeped into the fabric of the corset. Quickly throwing his button up over top and tucking it in, you check to ensure your intimate garment is still hidden relatively beneath the shirt before coming back out for his opinion “Does it look okay?”
Jimin nods, but when he reaches out to touch the shirt you recoil, fearing that he will discover what you wear beneath. He chuckles and persists, “I’m just fixing your collar.” He moves in closer standing just a couple inches away. Pinching the two seams of the fabric together, he considers the change. “I think it would look better like this.” You nod, keeping silent as he follows through. Pulling the fabric tight around your throat, your breathing is forced to pause for a moment as he fastens the top button. “Better?” He asks, while his hands linger around your neck.
“Much.” You whisper, as his fingers drift up to hold your chin, with the tip of his thumb dragging along the edge of your bottom lip. You stand there confused as to why your flirtatious game has taken such a physical turn. Although his actions are prohibited and should be censured, you can’t fully condemn them, deciding instead to remove yourself, rather than reprimand him. “I-I should go. I don’t want to be late meeting Yoongi.”  
...
It was a productive lunch to say the least, but that was by no means thanks to you. Your focus was distinctly elsewhere. While you toyed with your bottom lip, thinking of how Jimin had touched it just moments before, Yoongi gave you everything you needed to secure several new clients. Even now as you return, disembarking the elevator on to your floor, you still can’t concentrate on the day ahead.
On the walk back to your office Hoseok catches you, quickly pulling you into his own and closing the door behind. “You need to do something about Jimin.” 
“Wh-what do you mean?” You ask, nervous that he had seen you two together before you left for your meeting.
“Your client earlier, Mr. Kim, he said that he caught you two acting rather close, making suggestions that you two are involved in a sexual relationship. Usually I would disregard a comment like his but-” 
“It’s not true, you know I wouldn’t!” As much as you might want to act on Jimin’s advances you’ve never crossed that line. You know it must have been bad for Hoseok to bring it up, for him to take this serious tone is evidence of his deep concern. 
“I know that, but this isn’t the first time someone has thought you two might be a little too intimate. Some of the staff have also considered the notion. And I can see why, the way he looks at you, talks to you...” Hoseok trails off as his eyes linger on your apparel in confusion. “You weren’t wearing that earlier were you?” 
“No, I had some coffee spill on me earlier. Jimin was nice enough to loan me his.”
Hoseok tilts his head as he raises his brow as if this validates his concerns.
“He was just being helpful!” You offer, but Hoseok doesn’t look to be swayed, and he’s right, this is a workplace not a morning after situation. “Fine, I see your point. So what do you suggest?”
“Redistribute him, send him my way if you have to, god knows that I could use the extra hand. You could even play it off as a promotion, just get him out of your office.” Your heart drops at the thought, not wanting to give him up. Hoseok seeing this takes a softer tone. “Listen I can see that you like him too. I’m sure it feels good to have his attention, but you need to get this out of your system. You have to put a stop to it. We can’t afford a scandal and you know it.” 
With the assurance that you’ll think on the issue, and giving Hoseok your solution by tomorrow, you return to your office. But the problem is far from easy, though you did not lie about your physical relationship to Hoseok, you have been keeping something from him. From all of them. Jimin will never accept a promotion if it takes him away from you. He’s never worked here for the money, he doesn’t need to when his father owns half of the city, this building included. 
...
-3 years ago-
“Mr. Lee, thank you so much for agreeing to meet with me.” You pull out the chair to sit across from him. The massive mahogany desk of his placing a rather large distance between the two of you. 
“Yes well, my building manager said you were very persistent.” There’s a small roll in his eyes as he looks from you down to the computer in front of him. 
“I wanted to discuss one of your properties, an office space in the Madeline Suites.”
He takes a swift glance at your modest appearance with narrowing eyes. “Forgive me, but I believe that location might be out of your price range.” 
“Monetarily yes,” You agree. “But we offer services which might be helpful to you.”
“I do not deal in favours. I can see that this meeting was a waste of time, you may go.” He waves the back of his hand to shoo you out, while his secretary grabs the door from the outside.
“I am not asking for a favour, but offering you my services. I’m the co-founder of a corporate image consulting firm. And come this time tomorrow, I believe you’ll be looking for someone within our realm of dealings.”
“And what makes you say that?” Lee asks, his words laced with cynicism. 
You lay out the first page of the article which Yoongi had sent you, stretching it across the wooden surface to place it in Mr. Lee’s view. ‘Real Estate Developer Lee Gungsang Faced Prior Allegations of Unlawful Evictions and Price Hiking.’ “This is slated for tomorrow morning’s front page.” 
Mr. Lee is quick to send his secretary off, the door shutting once again. “How do you know about this? These cases were settled before they made it anywhere near the courts.”
“I have my sources.” 
“Then stop this! I will pay whomever needs to be paid to prevent this from leaching out. You want the office space, it's yours.” He’s voice is desperate, you have him on the hook, the question now is, how long will he let you drag him for?
“That’s very generous of you, but nothing will stop this from going out tomorrow. My offer is simply to help you get ahead of it and lessen the damage.” You explain, revelling in the fact that money can’t hide everything.
“And how do you propose to do that?”
You pull out a contract for your serves. “I will need you to sign off on my services first. A small fee plus a far more reasonable price for a three year lease of the offices on the 14th floor of the Madeline Suites”
“Without knowing your plan, I think not.”
You give him a bright smile before mimicking his earlier statement. “I do not deal in favours Mr. Lee.”
He grumbles while taking the pen, eyeing you with a dark gaze as he signs on the dotted line.
With the ink still drying you hand over another small document. “Here are a few of my suggestions. Twenty percent of the commercial residences that you have just vacated will be handed over to non-profits for a drastically reduced monthly lease. I’ll even let you pick which you want to support.” 
He looks up at you mortified. “This is excessive.”
“No this is necessary. I’ve seen corporations do far more than this when they are not dealing with a scandal. Your accountants will agree with me that this is the best move, it can be seen as a donation and therefore tax deductible. For the evicted  private residences, I was thinking of partnering with a refugee resettlement program but we can discuss that more in depth later.” 
You carefully tuck away your contract in Lee’s file before dragging another concern to the forefront. “I do have one more request, before I leave today.”
“What more could you possibly want?” He scoffs.
You lean in to deliver your short but important demand. “A heads up.”
“I don’t know what you mean...”
“I mean if there are any other past dealings or actions which might impact your company I need to be aware of them.” There’s always more hidden in the dark, you have one of those secrets on hand now. You need to see if he’s willing to be upfront with you on every dealing of his past, otherwise you might be forced to dig him out from another grave a couple weeks from now. 
“There’s nothing else.” 
“Nothing?” You ask again as you pull out your phone ready to bring forward more evidence. 
“No.”
“So the knowledge of you having and hiding an illegitimate son... you don’t think that’s important? The existence of the only child of the Lee empire, isn’t newsworthy?”
“How did you-” The terror in his face looks to be even greater than the prior accusation. 
“You attempted to evict all of the residents who stayed in your residential apartment for over 10 years if they refused to agree with a massive lease hike. Park Jimin was the only one who wasn’t touched. He has no record of a job, living off what must be money given to him by his parents, so I looked into them. His father wasn’t listed but his late mother, Park Haesoon, used to work for your company, and 22 years ago she signed a NDA issued by your lawyer.” 
You open to Jimin’s public instagram page turning it around for his father to see. “He may take mostly after his mother, but I can still see a few clues to your family resemblance.”
“When does this one drop?” Lee asks in dismay.
“It’s not going to, at least, not from me or my source. We try not to deal in personal life consulting, but I am going to give you some advice in this matter. Get ahead of it.”
“My wife won’t hear of it.” Mr. Lee mutters through clenched teeth, it’s easy to see that this conversation has him very much on edge.
You nod seeing the crux of his dilemma. “I looked into the approximate date of his conception, you were newly married at the time, were you not?”
“Yes. She knows, but her family does not, they have a large political presence and we cannot afford to lose all support from them. Trust me, the boy is not worth the risk.”
“He’s your child!” You berate the CEO, your anger getting the better of you as you think of the emotional toll on Jimin. Not only did he lose his mother but his father won't even publicly acknowledge him. 
“I won’t be swayed on this matter. If you have nothing else to say you may leave.” Mr. Lee rises from his desk and once again gestures towards the door. “I’ll have keys to your new office space delivered to you tomorrow along with the lease. But I should warn you, if there is even a whisper of his name in public in conjunction with mine, I can assure you, your so-called firm won’t last another week.”
...
Less than a month later you and Hoseok have moved your entire enterprise to the new office space. You’re holding an open house for several different staff positions, when the most unlikely of applicants walks in your door, Park Jimin. 
He hands you a piece of paper which you can only guess is his resume, because your eyes fail to leave his face, your mouth unable to form words in your state of shock. Closing the door behind him, he gives you a nervous smile. “Judging from your expression, I take it you know who I am?”
You manage a single nod, still confused as to why he’s here, now, with you. It’s lucky you’re conducting the interviews alone, otherwise it would be difficult to explain your shock to Hoseok without exposing Jimin’s lineage. 
“I’ve been wanting to meet with you,” Jimin confesses, adding sheepishly, “My father told me of your meeting. He said you took a bit of an interest in me, even found my social media accounts.” 
“Oh, oh no.” You finally manage to sputter out, far more anxious with the younger man than his father. You never intended to meet Jimin, let alone have him find out you dug into some very personal aspects of his past and present. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t intend to invade your privacy. I was only trying to figure out what was going on. And when I learned the truth, I wanted him to own up to his mistake of hiding you.”
Jimin chuckles lightly, sitting down in front of you, “I didn’t come here looking for an apology Miss, I know why you did it. I merely wanted to meet one of the few people to ever successfully scare the shit out of my father.” 
The wide beaming smile accompanying his statement spurs a laugh from you, while also allowing you to relax in his presence. “Sometimes you have to intimidate these people to get them to do the right thing. But I’m sorry I wasn’t able to convince him to go public regarding everything.”
“That’s not your fault. In the end it was just nice to hear that there's someone who thinks I deserve better.” Jimin adds, with a look of sorrow leaching into his smile.
“Of course you do, but I must ask, why come here now?” You take a moment to confirm that it is in fact his resume that he’s handed you. ”I can’t imagine that you need a job.” He’s appearance alone is enough to tell you he’s buried in wealth, though his father has not given him the family name, it looks as if Jimin has gained some of the assets.  
“Actually that’s exactly what I was looking for.”
“Your father didn’t pressure you to come here to keep an eye on me did he?” You ask with scepticism. Keeping watch over possible threats wouldn’t be a completely off brand for those of his status. And with you knowing some of his deepest secrets you could likely be considered one of the biggest risks.
“No.” Jimin chuckles, briefly raising his hands in surrender. “I promise I’m here of my own volition. Money isn’t my biggest concern, I’ve been hoping to build connections. I want to use my time wisely and work with someone who is worthy of my focus, and that just so happens to be you.” He finishes with a suggestive smirk, making you wonder if you’ve won his affection too. 
“And what does your focus get me?” You ask, trying to weigh the benefits versus the risk. You doubt that Mr. Lee will respond kindly to you hiring his son, but if he continues to deny his son’s  existence then what right does he have to disagree? 
“Anything you require. I was interested in the posting for your secretary, but any position beneath you would suit me nicely.” 
...
There’s no way you’ll be able to convince Jimin to willingly change roles and work for Hoseok instead. But you can’t deny that your co-founder’s points are valid. 
Jimin greets you warmly as you enter your office. “Did you have a nice lunch?” 
“Yeah, it was good.” You respond, forcing out a smile.
“Really? Because you look upset.” 
You curse Jimin’s ability to read you at a time like this. “I promise, lunch was fine. Yoongi gave me some substantial leads.” You sigh sliding back in your seat. With your values shaken and morals questioned by Hoseok, you are deeply in need of someone to brace yourself on. Wanting to step out of the realm of responsibility and control even if it’s just for a moment, you make a request to Jimin. “Would you go fetch Jungkook for our meeting?”
“I can just call him in.” He makes the case looking reluctant to leave your side.
“Please Jimin just go get him. I need a few minutes for a personal call.”
Jimin looks at you crestfallen before finally leaving. It’s not often you keep things from him, he can scope you out too well for that. But Kim Namjoon’s actual role in your life is the one secret you feel is the most imperative to hide from him.
You pull out your cell, not wanting to use his number on your work phone. After two rings he picks up. “Couldn’t wait a few more hours to hear my voice baby girl?”
You're too embarrassed to admit he’s right, settling on another excuse for your call. “N-no I just wanted to let you know that I’ve sent someone your way... sir.”
“Don’t lie to me I can hear the need in your voice.” He chuckles lightly as he taunts you. “Your reference already reached out to me. I’m excited to play with him, is he just as handsome as he sounds?”
“More so.”
Namjoon hums on the line in gratification. “My babygirl, giving me another pet to play with.” 
You blush from the praise. Taehyung makes the sixth person you’ve suggested following the charity ball you met Namjoon at a couple years ago. Where he, much like you, was secretly scoping out potential clients. Every one of those patrons you’ve given him since then has been his pet, but you, you’re his babygirl. 
“I was wondering...” Namjoon’s carries on, in a tone far more hesitant than usual. “Tonight would you be willing to try something a little unconventional? Would you like to share him?”
“W-would that be okay?” He’s never suggested adding another to your sessions before, but you can’t deny you’re intrigued by the prospect.
“He mentioned an interest in you, and after discussing his needs I feel that I require someone other than myself to pin his desires on. You’ll be the carrot while I’ll be the stick. Do you think you could do that for me?”  Namjoon proposes in a low purr dragging every heated thought and possibility to the forefront of your mind.  
“Yes sir.” Your response is instant, with little thought required. Helping Namjoon with Taehyung? You’d be a fool to turn down the opportunity. There’s a small knock on your office door with the return of Jimin and Jungkook trailing behind him. You start to panic while still on the phone with Namjoon. “I’ll see you later then?”
Namjoon can of course detect the change in your tone, but instead of letting you off the hook he pulls you further. “Did someone walk in on you babygirl? I take it they don’t know about this side of you?”
“No they don’t.”
“No sir.” He calls out your lack of decorum, an error which you know you’ll pay for later. “Such a shame they’re missing out. What do you think they would say if they knew of my plans for you tonight? How I intend to hang you like forbidden fruit above another man. Do you think they would approve?” 
Your eyes widen as Namjoon continues and Jungkook takes the seat in front of you with Jimin standing behind him. You clear your throat and hold up your finger to them, gesturing for another minute. Turning away to hide your face as you continue to try and end the call. But hanging up on one’s dom is never advisable, condemning you to listen for as long as he wishes to torment. 
“I bet you would like them watch, wouldn’t you?” Namjoon asks, egging on your sinful thoughts, transferring them from Taehyung over to your co-workers.
You shift your thighs trying to dispel the building need as you consider the notation of them watching. Imagining Jungkook’s wide eyes taking in the sight, likely with a hand on his cock, he’s an innocent man with strong desires. You’ve known others like him before, they act with naivete but when confronted with an opportunity for more, they don’t hesitate to gorge on what is presented to them.
And Jimin, would he accept your darker needs? You wish he would, desperately wanting him to play along, to help mould you into submission. Your head now filled with thoughts of kneeling before him taking him in your mouth while he christens you a good girl. If only you could be sure that he wouldn’t react like most people, like those who condemned Taehyung. Your eyes flutter back over to your secretary who is looking at you with deep suspicion. You desperately need to end the call or risk giving yourself away. “I should probably-”
“Am I embarrassing you baby girl?” Namjoon teases with an amused laugh. “Does that mean I’m right?”
“Yes...”
“Yes sir.” Namjoon reminds you once again. “I’ll release you for now, but I better see you here at seven o’clock sharp. Is that understood?”
You breathe a sigh of relief at the release.  “Yes sir.” After finally hanging up, you offer up an apology. “Sorry about that.”
“Who was it?” Jimin inquires with a soft tone, but  a quick lick to his lips shows his intentions to be far from innocent. His clenched fists and hovering nature further pointing towards jealousy.
“No one important.” You smile through the lie, careful in your attempt to comfort him. It’s pointless to keep acting in this way, but you still can’t bear the thought of disheartening his feelings or pushing him away. 
...
After your meeting with Jungkook, you're left with a stack of paperwork and your ever persistent lack of concentration as you try to figure out what can be done with Jimin. Should you just tell him the issue, would it help or would it make the situation worse? If he knows how he is perceived then will the affection stop, and if it does, will you struggle with that loss?
“Can I walk you to your car Miss?” Jimin asks with his jacket in hand. You check the time, reading just after five. So lost in thought you had accomplished almost nothing in the last few hours of the day.
“I think I might just stay here until I have to leave for my appointment, I still have a bit more work to do.” You explain rubbing your hands over your face as you pull yourself from your daze.
“Do you want me to stay too then?” 
“No, I couldn’t ask that of you. But before you go I’d like to discuss something” You gesture to the seat across from you which he takes with hesitation. You’re usually not so formal and he can clearly spot the difference. You open your mouth and pause trying to find the right words as his eyes shine in your direction. The evening sun pouring into the room bathing his skin in with golden light makes it so much harder to stick to the issue at hand. You eventually resort to staring at the irrelevant papers on your desk as you open with your concern. 
“I’m worried that our actions towards each other imply that our relationship is not strictly professional.” You blurt it out quickly, hating every word that crosses your lips.
“Have I been making you uncomfortable Miss?” Jimin’s expression falls along with his question, the heartbreak ringing out clear in his voice. 
“No, no. It’s just, I’m concerned about how others see our interactions.”
“Oh, so someone said something to you then?” 
“Hoseok mentioned that a few people think we appear to be a bit more than boss and secretary.” You know it cowardly to bring Hoseok into this, but the information is second hand. You can’t be sure what others have said exactly.
“Well you do know more about me than most.” Jimin laughs lightly. 
“That’s not what they are implying. They think we are engaged in a sexual relationship.”
“And...” He draws the word out as if the implication is nothing, implying there should be a better reason for your concerns. 
“We aren’t Jimin!”
“Well, there's only one way to fix that.” He stands up leaning towards you over your desk. “You can’t say you haven’t thought about it. We could keep it a secret if you’d like, no one has to know.”
You doubt Jimin could keep a relationship between the two of you hidden, with the way he dotes on you already, you’re one passionate night away from finding three dozen roses on your desk. “Someone would find out, and the fall out-”
“Fuck the fall out,” Jimin states with resolve, reaching out his fingers tucking back a strand of your hair before curling beneath your chin. “I’m tired of this charade. Hoseok only said something because he’s jealous. He’s jealous that you want me as much as I want you.”
“Jimin,” You whisper. “Even if that was the case, that still doesn’t make it right.” You pull back from his touch. “You should go. Think about what I said, because if we can’t maintain at least some level of restraint and professionalism... then you might be better off working for someone else in the office.”
“So you’d rather keep your social image than be happy with me?” Jimin accuses, the usual warmth having completely vanished from his face.
“It’s not like that. My standing is my life, it’s my career, any blemish would destroy everything I have.” You attempt to express the fear inside you, the weight that bears on you every day. You already have so many secrets and liabilities, but one as close and extensive as a relationship with him might finally crush you and everything you’ve built. “I like you, I really do, but I can’t take the risk. You have to understand, I’m not like you. I don’t have a secret trust fund to fall back on.”  
Jimin looks as though you’ve stabbed him, pulling away he heads to the exit. “I’m sorry I’m not worth the risk. You know, I thought you were better than that, but it would seem you’re just like everyone else.” 
The door slamming between you echoes through the office as you sag in your chair. Never in all your years have you ever sunk so low. By taking him on you wanted to ensure Jimin’s happiness, to show him his value despite the lack of acknowledgement  from his father, but now it seems you’ve fallen into the same role as those who have hurt him before.
  ...
You type your code into Namjoon’s door, stepping into his hall quickly and shutting the door behind you. It’s just before seven and usually you find him in his living room already waiting, but today it’s empty. Not wanting to disturb him, you take a seat on the couch and wait patiently for him to join you. 
You feel ready to fold in on yourself as you continue to dwell on your argument with Jimin. If you laid out boundaries earlier you likely wouldn’t be where you are now. Hating yourself over his confession, and your inability to accept it. 
There’s movement from the bedroom door as Namjoon’s partner Seokjin comes out to greet you. You look up in bewilderment as he takes your hand, pulling you off the couch. “Namjoon has already started with the other client, so he sent me to fetch you.” 
You nod understanding Namjoon’s divergence from the norm, it wouldn’t be safe practice for him to leave Taehyung alone in a precarious position. Now looking to the door with curiosity, you’re excited by what lustful visions will greet you on the other side. But when Seokjin presents something to you it’s clear that you won’t get to see those sights.
“You’ve been asked to wear this.” He holds out a wide silken strip, one that Namjoon has used as a blindfold in the past. You allow Seokjin to cover your eyes, with a touch far more gentle than you know Namjoon’s to be. You don’t want kindness, craving instead to be broken in by the man in the other room, especially after the damage you’ve done today. The loss of your vision will have to be punishment enough for the time being. 
“Does he want me to undress too?” You ask, touching the silk over your eyes, you're completely blind and already longing for the next step. 
“No he wishes to save that pleasure for himself.”
You smirk thinking he might, you’ve been wearing his gift all day it’s only right that he gets to see it first.  
There’s a knock and a click of the door before Seokjin takes you in hand again, leading you in. The air is warmer and heavier than that of the living room, making it impossible to draw a fresh breath. 
Seokjin pushes down on your shoulder, a wordless order to kneel. The plush carpet meeting your knees as you lower yourself, if only you could reach out to get a better sense of what’s in front of you, but form dictates that you keep your hands on your lap. 
The bedroom door closes, signalling Seokjin's departure. Sending one last wave of clean air before you're smothered once again. Locked away for the night with your master and his new pet. There’s a small creek from the mattress and the familiar rattle of restraints against the bedpost. You can just barely make out the tone of Namjoon’s low whisper as he speaks to the current tenant of the bed. 
Footsteps land to your left, muffled by the wall to wall but still sending vibrations through the floor.  As Namjoon approaches, your heart pounds wondering what his first move against you will be. He takes his sweet time letting the anticipation build as your chest continues to heave in its attempts to take in the thick air. You keep your posture, maintaining your stance with the knowledge that he will inspect you. Head lowered, hands on thighs, perched on your toes as your knees dig into the ground. Your legs soon start to tremble as your feet strain to bear the weight.
Namjoon settles right in front of you, the slow draw of his breath reaches your ears, while the heat of his exhale hits your face. A hand trails up the outside of your thigh stilling the tremor in your legs with a forceful grip. You freeze wondering if your jitters will cost you, you can’t let him find fault not if you want him to reward you with his presence. 
But as he takes your chin tightly between his index and his thumb, you know you're in the clear. He tilts your head up as you breathe a sigh of relief. “Such a good girl, setting the perfect example.” His fingers slide down petting the column of your throat with a firm touch. “I was so happy to receive your picture this morning, did you wear the gift all day as ordered?”
“Yes sir.” You pant back, eager for him to see for himself. 
“It wasn’t too hard for you then, to go so long in such a confined state?”
“No sir.”
“Good girl,” He purrs in your ear as he starts unfastening your shirt. He hesitates on the buttons for a moment. “Babygirl, would you care to tell me why you're wearing a men’s shirt?”
You swallow not wanting to admit that it’s the fault of the man currently lying in his bed. You plan to take the fall, wanting Namjoon’s undivided attention even if it’s in the form of a punishment. “I spilled something on mine sir.”  
“So clumsy.” He has the shirt completely off now revealing the corset for him and likely Taehyung to see. Namjoon helps you to stand, unzipping your skirt he pushes it to the floor. You feel so helpless without your sight but Namjoon doesn’t seem to mind assisting. He uses the soft fabric of the shirt to dab at the sweat beading on your skin. “Who, may I ask, clothed you in theirs? Such an expensive label, he must think highly of you.”
You shift in place, made uncomfortable by your inability to answer. Knowing if you say his name thoughts of him will be summoned to your mind. You don’t deserve to think of him at such a time, not after you led him on and left him dry.
“You don’t wish to tell me?” The feel of Namjoon’s breath leaves you, the sounds of his feet  indicating he’s moved to the right of you. Heading to a space you know to be occupied by a table and closet full of his tools. There’s a scrap of metal and what sounds like the jingle of buckles. 
“No sir.”
“And why is that?” Fingers trail up your arm as Namjoon signals his return to your side. 
“Because I’m not allowed to have him sir.”
“A noble response.” Namjoon reasons while he wraps the leather strap of a familiar collar around your neck. “But I still plan to get that name from you before we’re done.” He buckles it swiftly checking the tightness with two fingers. You thought him finished but he progresses to cuff your wrists in leather too, tethering them together in front of you. 
He leans in again with a hushed request, “Still know your safe word?” You nod repeating is back to him before he leads you on towards the bed. 
Namjoon stands behind you as he presents you to his new pet. When you gave Taehyung Namjoon’s number you hadn’t been expecting this but you can’t deny enjoying the prospect. But you find the silence and lack of reaction from him unnerving. “I asked him not to make a sound,” Namjoon explains, “And he’s abiding by my rules so well it’s he?” 
Namjoon takes your hands helping you to feel the current state in which Taehyung is interned. A Leather cuff just like yours binds one of his wrists with a short chain leading to bedpost. You imagine that his other limbs are restricted to the other corners of the bed, for Namjoon has bound you in the same state before. 
“Can he see?” You ask Namjoon wondering if he has been left blind too, or if he’s eyes are watching you now.
“Can he see you? He can babygirl, in fact, he hasn’t looked away once, and why would he?” Namjoon sits you down on the large bed to join Taehyung before pulling down the matching underwear to your corset. “They’re so wet, have you been soaking these all day?” 
You nod in response. A delighted Namjoon makes an offer to Taehyung. “Would you like a taste pet? A reward for being so good.” Namjoon revels in his situation with a chuckle, the man beneath you must have nodded. “Then open up.” You know what a taste means for Namjoon, those panties of yours are most certainly shoved into Taehyung's mouth. He lets out a groan of satisfaction at the welcome intrusion.
Namjoon’s hands find your waist dragging you up further on to the bed with your knees now resting on the mattress. “You’re going to straddle him for me babygirl.” He shifts you over pulling up one of your legs to settle them on either side of the man beneath you. Your knees bent with your calves coming to rest against his bare hips. Without his billowy clothes he is far more slight than you expected, but his skin feels firm and toned. 
You slowly move to lower yourself knowing what you will come down on top of as you sit, but Namjoon seems to have other plans in mind. He takes your bound wrist, lifting them above your head and latching the cuffs to a chain in the rafters of the canopy bed. Once fixed in place he tests your limitations, a quick tug to show you even with your arms fully extended you are only able to lower yourself to half a kneel. You groan in frustration with the realization you can’t move any closer to the cock that rests below you. It’s just as he promised, hung like forbidden fruit above another man. Your dominant’s flare for the poetic never failing to surprise you.
“Problem babygirl?” Namjoon cooes in your ear. “Do you have something you want to say?”
“No sir.”
“Good, because if I recall you still need to be punished for your lack of formality on the phone earlier today.” 
Your stomach drops as you realize he’s going to discipline you right now, in full view of Taehyung. The heat rises to your face at the thought of being demeaned in front of another. Namjoon’s hand cups your bare ass, readying it for the assault. “You failed to call me sir twice, three for each lapse should do it.”
While the first strike eases you in, those that follow are not so gentle. The ring of his index biting your flesh with each impact. The third strike is so strong you pivot forward on your knees, your back arching as you bare forward still confined to the corset and chains. The weight of your body pulls painfully on your shoulders for a brief second, but Namjoon is there to catch you. Stopping you before you can slip and more, and propping you back in place before continuing. 
One hand lays firmly on your stomach to prevent the shift from happening again, while the other rubs the curve of your ass mapping where he should strike next. You can feel the warmth in your skin as the blood rises to the surface in reaction to his beating. Your nerves are caught in the struggle between pain and pleasure, even as the sixth and final blow lands. 
“Good girl.” Namjoon whispers his touch disappearing, as you ease down against your restraints. You hang completely by your wrists while your legs quake from the shock. Every nerve in your body feels as though it’s been left on fire with nothing to quench the flames. Leaving you to hang there for what seems like eternity.
“Sir?” You whisper in the dark as the heat continues to build inside you. Wondering where he has gone your body reacts, begging for the return of his attention with a dripping cunt. And with Taehyung below that can only mean the steady drip of your arousal is left to fall on him.
“Babygirl you’re making such a mess.” Namjoon confirms along with a groan from the man beneath you. “But he appears to be leaking too. Do you want some?” You nod eager for a taste. 
Namjoon obliges, grabbing your throat in one hand, he presses a damp finger to your lips for you to take. Your mouth latches over the offered digit, allowing the bitter fluid to sweep over your tongue. You're forced to let it sit there unable to swallow as the grip on your throat tightens, with the strap of the collar digging into your skin. Your mouth fills with saliva prompting you to close it despite your desperate need for air. 
“Does he taste good?” Namjoon wickedly possesses knowing you can barely even nod. It’s when you start to tremble that he finally releases your airway. 
You swallow quickly before letting your mouth hang open in a pant. With your lungs still restricted by the corset your breathing comes in short shuddering waves. “Yes sir, so good.”
“I think he likes having you drench him, shall we give him more?”
“Please.” You beg but Namjoon suddenly delivers a staggering blow to your backside, indicating your misstep. You’re left gasping from the sudden impact, swinging in the restraints as you try to recoil. “Please sir.” Your plea comes again this time with the proper decorum.  
There’s a crinkle of what sounds like a condom wrapper as Namjoon readies himself behind you. His fingers damp with lubrication find your back entrance, your tight hole giving way to a single finger. “You’ve been training for me like I asked?”
“Yes sir.” You almost come at the thought of it along with pleasure with the swirling digit. You’ve dabbled in anal before testing out a few toys, but a few weeks ago he sent you a plug with a tapered t-shaped end, giving you strict orders to wear it to work the following day. Unfortunately that was the date you had scheduled a meeting with your whole team. You were a flustered mess as you fought through your presentation, Jimin’s presence by your side making it so much more difficult to maintain control of your arousal . But the full day of public and torturous stimulation was worth it, for the reward that night was a call from Namjoon. His orders led you through every action of self pleasure.  Telling you when and where to touch before finally directing you to come. You’ve used the item several times on your own since, knowing your practice would help you in this moment. You wanted to make Namjoon proud and take him with little resistance. That desire now intensified with having Taehyung as an audience.
“Then you're ready to take me in front of him?” 
You nod gripping chains of the restraints as Namjoon eases into you. “Just relax.” His hands glide down your shoulders and back, coming to rest splayed across your hips, the tips of his finger root under the corset and dig into your stomach. Your grip eases as you lean back into him. “That’s it.” He mutters quietly as you stretch to accommodate him. “Good girl.”
After taking a few inches Namjoon pushes down on the front of your corset bowing the metal latches back to so they release, with a few clicks and swift presses the garment is off allowing you to breathe deeper than you have all day. 
“God you should see him babygirl, he’s so ruined by the sight of you. You have him panting for you.” You wish you could curse Namjoon for his choice to blindfold you and silence Taehyung, you would take any punishment that came of it, but all you can muster is a gasp while he continues to fill you more. “I wonder how he’ll react,” One of Namjoon’s hands leaves your hips coming to rest with something soft against your aching clit. “When he sees you come.” With a click the object vibrates, throwing you back completely onto Namjoons cock from the shock.
You catch Namjoon’s lustful groan between your cries. He starts to thrust inside of you one hand gripping your chest while the other holds the vibrate down in place despite your bucking hips. It doesn’t take long for you to completely fold. As the heat inside you finally reaches its peak you shatter, your head falling back on Namjoon’s shoulder as you convulse and moan. With nothing for your cunt to clench your legs grip the trussed man between them. He too lets out a sinful groan as the fluids from your fold continue to drip down your legs meet his adjoining skin. 
Namjoon turns the device off and slips out, the bed shifts as he moves in front of you. When his hand cups your face you lean into his touch. “You okay?”
You nod hoping he’ll be lenient with your lack of speech. You hear him whisper as he checks in with Taehyung too. “I’m going to take these now.” Namjoon must finally be freeing him from the waded underwear of yours.
Namjoon’s hands find you again, playing with the arousal dripping down your legs as he drags his fingers up to the source. A finger grazes your folds slipping between without penetrating. You pull desperately against your restraints hoping that it might find its way inside.  
“So are you going to tell me who you’re not allowed to have?” Namjoon asks again. “Or do I have to let you hang here all night?” 
“My secretary...” You give in with a  whisper, hoping that Taehyung won’t hear.
“And what’s his name? Say it and I’ll give you what you want.” 
The deal is too good for you to resist, you last only a couple more seconds before finally giving in. Crying out, “Jimin,” as two of Namjoon’s fingers breach you. Your sopping slit squelching as he curls his fingers. 
“There it is.” Namjoon sighs, his other hand brushing your cheek. “Is he the reason you’re so worked up tonight babygirl?”
“Y-yes sir.” You stutter as his fingers continue. He gives you another minute of bliss before removing his digits. 
“You’re going to do something for me, okay?” Namjoon asks. You nod as he continues to hold your face. “That man between your legs, you are going to fuck him and imagine Jimin as you do so, is that clear?” 
“Yes sir.”
“Is that okay with you pet?” He asks the other occupant, who still remains silent with his answers. The sound of another condom wrapper, comes as your confirmation.  Taehyung lets out an unexpected high pitched whine, likely due to the pressure that comes with the latex being rubbed down his shaft. You’re already so invested in the lie that he’s even starting to sound like Jimin. 
Namjoon is once again behind you. You can hear the rattle of the length of chain that holds you up and as he sinks back into you, his cock slipping in far easier this time, your body gladly welcomes the fullness of his intrusion.  He then lowers you inch by inch, with little strength left in your legs you are relying only on the restraints and Namjoon to hold you up. After gaining a bit more freedom you can feel the tip of a cock brushing up against you. Namjoon’s arm comes to rest on your thigh as he lines the erection up for you to take it inside. It’s a slow descent, as you stretch to accommodate both of them. Your thankful Namjoon’s mercy for easing you down gradually. 
When you bottom out Namjoon pulls the chain down from the rafters he releases the length from your cuffs, but rather than discarding it he attaches it to your collar, tugging on it as if it’s a leash. Though your hands are still bound together you have the freedom to rest them on the man laying down in front of you. You take pleasure in dragging the tips of your fingers across his skin, feeling his abs flex and his cock twitch inside you as you do so. 
Namjoon starts to thrust, keeping a close hold on your collar. While he pushes you are sent up and down on what you desperately want to be Jimin’s thick cock. After a few thrusts you are shoved forward entirely by Namjoon, colliding with the man beneath you. Your chest is pushed into his, as your bound hands are pinned between the two of you. While your head is left to rest on his shoulder, the tip of your nose is able to graze his neck. As you breathe in your mind continues to play tricks, the smell coming off him mimics that of the cologne your secretary wears, rather than the scent of Taehyung. 
Namjoon must have unbound his legs as they bend up to cradle your own from behind his hips bucking into yours, with both men taking you at a steady pace.
You move in closer to his neck, with a lick you taste the salt of his skin showing  your intentions. Biting down on the spot, you suck in deeply as your teeth dig in even harder. The carnal groans you receive from him sending shivers to your spine. There’s the sound of a soft slap, Namjoon didn’t hit you, but the man beneath you returns to his ordered silence.
Namjoon thrusts even harder, pushing you into his chest repeatedly. The thought of being fucked into Jimin’s embrace is too much to bear. Your cunt clenches as you continue envisioning your secretary, and how you're grinding your clit against his pelvis. 
You cry out over the swelling girths inside you, knowing their both likely to come soon. Clenching down one last time you dissolve in the pleasure and contentment. Namjoon finishes first remaining inside while his pet comes too. He leaves you there laying upon your imagined Jimin, in your daze  you can barely move let alone focus on reality. With a wave of exhaustion you start to slip from consciousness, but not before one last praise reaches your ears. Your delirium grants you the satisfaction of hearing the voice of Jimin whisper, “Good girl.”
...
You can’t remember the last time you slept so well. You woke early to find Namjoon had taken care of you in the night, he released your wrist cuffs, and removed your blindfold, after you had passed out from the physical exertion. The only restraint to remain was your collar which he asked you to wear today. Taehyung was sadly already gone, but you can’t deny it was nice to have Namjoon to yourself before you left. 
Now as you head off to work, showered and freshly dressed, with a turtleneck hiding your gift, you check your phone for the first time. Finding a string of apologetic messages sent from Jimin in the early hours of the morning. You reply apologizing too and asking to revisit the subject as soon as you get into work. Thankfully he agrees, the smiling emoji he ends his text on sends a wave of relief through you.
You step in the front entrance of your building ready to handle and objectively listen to Jimin’s thoughts and concerns. While you wait for the elevator your phone vibrates listing a call from an unknown number. “Hello?”
“Hey it’s Taehyung. Hope you don’t mind, I stole your personal number from my father.”
“Taehyung...” Heat starts to rise in your face at the thought of last night. The elevator arrives and you quickly step in. “No, not at all, to what do I owe the honour of this call.”
“No need to be so formal,” He giggles at you.
“Sorry, habit,” You respond. “What can I do for you?” 
“I wanted to thank you for yesterday...” Taehyung starts off. 
But his words are soon interrupted by someone shouting, “Hold the door.” You comply, pushing the button to keep them open, while trying to keep your focus on your conversation with Taehyung.
“...It’s not often that I meet someone who I can be so open with. I called the man you recommended and I’ve scheduled my first session with him tomorrow.”  
You freeze, unable to fully comprehend what he’s saying, surely he misspoke. It can’t be his first session. “W-what do you mean your first session is tomorrow? You were there-” The collar hidden beneath your turtleneck feels as though it’s tightening around your throat. “Last night, I saw you-” The line goes dead as the elevator closes and starts to ascend. It was Taehyung in the bed with you and Namjoon last night. You saw... nothing you saw nothing because of the blindfolded that you were asked to wear.
“Everything okay?” You jump at the sound of the other voice, forgetting that some else had gotten into the elevator. Looking up you find Jimin there beaming at you, his head tilted from his query.
“Namjoon,” You flutter with your phone, too panicked to even greet your secretary properly. “I need to call Namjoon.” But the line won’t connect, not with you in the elevator. “Fuck...” You try again your patience not willing to wait the minute it’ll take to disembark on your floor.  
You are almost there when the elevator shudders and stops. The sudden halt sends you off balance, but Jimin’s there to grab hold of you before you can fall. You thank him before stepping back and putting a bit of distance between the two of you again.
Jimin turns his attention to the panel, pushing the call button, he waits for someone to answer, but the call remains silent. 
While he continues in his attempt to make contact, every scene of the night before floods back to your memory as you try to piece everything together. It was Taehyung, it had to be. He must just be playing a stupid joke. He was surely going to shout ‘gotcha’ before the phone disconnected, but you won’t know for certain until someone can get you off this blasted lift. You sink to the floor and Jimin follows, unable to reach anyone on the outside. 
Despite your best efforts to rationalize what happened, your panicked breaths fail to slow, Spots start appearing in your vision as the elevator sways around you. Your breakfast threatens to make another appearance on the polished marble floor. 
“It’ll be fine. Someone will notice soon.” Jimin attempts to comfort you but even that won’t quash the fear raging inside you.
“It’s not just that...” You whisper. “Something happened last night. I need to call Namjoon, I need to figure out...” Who was actually in that bed with you. Your confusion and panic break free sending you into a fit of tears as you hug your knees to your chest.
“Hush, it’s okay.” Jimin readjusts, moving in front of you and taking your hands in his. He leans towards you as he whispers in your ear. “Don’t cry babygirl.”
Your eyes snap to look at Jimin in alarm. Your prior worries are nothing compared to the terror which takes hold now. “H-how do you know that name?” Your stuttered words barely make their way past your lips.
“I think you know the answer to that question.” He pulls at the collar of his shirt allowing you to spot a large red mark on his neck, right where you had bitten the man you once thought to be Taehyung. “I wanted to wait a bit longer, I wanted more moments like we had last night but it would seem that someone had to go and ruin it.” You pull back but Jimin’s hands shift to take hold of your wrists, mimicking the manacles that embraced you the night before. “Are you not happy babygirl? You got your wish. And I... I got what I’ve always wanted.”
“This is so wrong Jimin! You knew I thought you were someone else! You knew that I wouldn’t have done that last night if I knew the truth.” 
“Even though I was the one you really wanted babygirl?”
“Stop calling me that! Just because of what happened last night does not make me yours. You lied to Namjoon. You said that I sent you. You told him you were Taehyung!”
Jimin gives a wicked laugh in response to your accusations. “Oh, but you are mine. Namjoon is the one who’s been keeping things from you. He’s been in my employ far longer than yours.” He coos as his fingers tighten their grip on you. “I was the reason you were introduced to him, and I was the one who bestowed you with that name shortly after.”
“No, that’s not possible, Namjoon and I, we met at a charity event.”
“Hosted by my father. Where I told him to make himself known to you, to entice you to become one of his pets. I may have acted the sub last night but I am the one who holds Namjoon’s reins, I always have.”
“No he would never do that! He’s considerate and-”
“Had so much to gain by dominating you on my behalf. Money, power, and an assurance of safety, he would’ve been a fool to turn my offer down. Especially since you were so willing to play along with him. I dare say he enjoyed his time with you, but I was the one who permitted him to touch you. I was there to listen, to read, and to direct every conversation. Those gifts he told you to wear to the office, they were all from me.” He lets go of one of your wrists to pull down the neck of your shirt. Revealing the leather band strapped around your neck. “Today it’s the collar, yesterday it was the corset, and a few weeks ago...” Jimin smirks as he recalls the memory to your mind. “You barely made it through that meeting thanks to my gift.”
  It’s impossible to swallow the admissions coming from him, but regardless of what may be true or false, you won’t stand for any of it. “You’ve had your fun, but this ends now.” You reach up attempting to remove the collar but Jimin pushes you to the floor pinning your arms above you as he straddles you. The elevator wavers from the struggle, teetering as you lay captive beneath him. 
“I don’t think you understand the situation you’ve placed yourself in. I hold in my possession your darkest secrets. One’s that will ruin you if they make their way out. Your illegal activity with a sex worker, your inappropriate sexual conduct with your secretary. Not to mention the names and dubious activities of every client you’ve recommended to Namjoon’s services.”  
“Why... why are you doing this?” 
“Because you found me. I worked so hard to exploit my father from the outside, getting everything I wanted without the threat of public exposure. I couldn’t let you ruin it all. When we first met I considered you a threat, but then I saw how easy and enjoyable it was to mould to my will. The more intimate you become with someone the more power you give them over you. Simply being your secretary isn’t enough, not if I want you in a more pliable state.” Jimin hushed whisper mixes with a haunting giggle as his lips come to your ear. “I plan to bend you to fit every one of my needs.”
“You’re psychotic!” You lash out trying to throw him off but he stems your revolt by planting himself further down on to you, sitting on your chest as the elevator sways.
“Psychotic? No, I am simply a man who found his passion amidst his revenge. I know what I desire, and vengeance has taught me how best to take it. So if you want to keep yourself and everything else around you from falling, I suggest you play along like a good girl. Or I promise you, my punishments won’t be as kind as what you’ve experienced before.”
“What is it that you want?” You ask, already fearing his answer. He has you trapped in a gilded cage with him, where one misstep will send you plummeting to meet your end. Nothing that comes accompanied by such threats can be palatable.
“At work? To keep the status quo, I’ll remain your secretary, only so I can keep a better hold on you.” 
“Hoseok won’t agree to that. He already thinks I should ditch you. I should have listened to him.” 
“Then you will make him agree or he might have an accident, much like your accountant did. He too thought we were too close, even threatened to say something. Don’t worry I saved us from him, just as I’ll save us from Hoseok if you can’t convince him to back off. Do you think you can get him to agree now?”
You give a solemn nod, with Hoseok on the line you have no choice.
“After hours, we’ll drop the middleman.” Jimin lowers himself further on to you, laying down on top, his weight flattening you to the floor. With his head coming to rest on your restrained arm as he whispers further plans. “Every night you’ll come to me instead, and every morning you’ll have a new gift to wear. When we step off this elevator you’ll act as if nothing is wrong. You will go about business as usual, is that clear babygirl?”
You stifle a sob staring directly up and away from his eyes, not daring to give him the satisfaction of your fear. With little else to cling to, all you can do is agree for the time being, as much as it pains you, you choke out your compliance. “Yes...” 
“Yes what?” Jimin purrs, his lips faintly touching your ear. “Address me properly, or I will find ways to discipline you right here on this lift.” His fingers tighten and nails bite into your skin.
“Yes sir,” you whine as a plea for him to stop. 
Jimin mercifully lessens his hold on your wrists, hitting you instead with a smirk and befouled praise. “Good girl. I knew you’d finally see that I’m worth the risk.”
...
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niikowari · 4 years ago
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I've been into Jujutsu Kaisen lately and this kind of popped into my mind after doing movie marathon of my favorite classic films with my sister. As a result, here's a mini fluff AU for you all.
GoYuu x Parent Trap AU-ish with a dash of non-traditional omegaverse told in the eyes of the two brats.
Itadori Nobara and Gojo Megumi - as predestined by fate like Nobara usually says - meet at a summer camp for young pups in Tokyo. Nobara was rather rambunctious for a girl and contrary to her omega father's worry, she was able to befriend the mature and quiet Megumi. The two had stuck next to eachother like gums since the first day of camp. They found eachother's scent familiar and comforting that they think it was natural for them to stick together. On some nights, they'd sneak out of the camp and hang around by the lake - “ A peace away from those sloppy city brats”, Nobara would say when asked why she like hanging around there at night - The two eight-year olds would exchanged stories about their lives with their single parents. Nobara would complain how her omega father was too busy running the family farm in Iwate, unwilling to meet any suitors. She thinks her omega father is still unable to forget her alpha father.
"Do you hate your alpha father?" Megumi asked.
Nobara shrugged. “Not sure. How can I hate a person I haven't even met? Why? Do you hate your omega parent?”
Megumi shakes his head. “Not hate. I just think that may it's partially my omega parent's fault as to why dad is being what he is now."
Megumi's alpha father was a renowned lawyer and businessman. He was an eccentric man that showered his son with love and affection, unwilling to let him feel that he was unloved. But his father has quite a flirty tendency that Megumi doesn't like. Although his father was normally confident, there were times that he would see him staring at a cut out photo from his wallet, silently crying.
“My fathe's worse," Nobare frowned. "I'd often find him staring at the sky and just sighing. I then heard Uncle Sukuna scold him to stop thinking about it but my father would say the blue skies reminds him of my alpha father's eyes.”
“Do you think your father likes blue eyes?”
“Does your dad have blue eyes too?” Nobara asked excitedly. “Hey, hey. I have a great idea. Why don't we set our parents on a date? Wouldn't that be great? We'll be siblings!”
Megumi perked up at the idea. “But how are we supposed to do that? Summer camp's ending in three days.”
Nobara then delightedly explains the two ways of her master plan. First one; they could switch places. Nobara would go to Megumi's place and vice versa. When their parent's see that it's a different child, they'll have to meet up to exchange and BOOM! They'll fall in love when they meet.
“That sounds like a hassle and unrealistic,” Megumi complains.
Undettered, Nobara moves to her second option. When they reach home, Nobara will tell his omega father that she found a bestfriend during summer camp and wants to see him again. Unfortunately, said friend lives in Tokyo so Nobara will begged or maybe forced her father to bring her to Tokyo. They will then set up a meeting with their parents.
"I like that plan." Megumi says.
Three days passed like a blur since the two hatched their plan and soon, Nobara found herself on a plane, itching to get back home to start the plan. Once she was back, her father - Yuuji - a beautiful omega happily greeted her in the airport, peppering her cheeks with kisses while apologizing for being unable to pick her up at the camp in Tokyo.
Nobara tells him it was fine on their way to the farm, happily sharing tales of her activities in camp and lastly, about her newly found bestfriend, Megumi.
“He's really nice, father. You know how I keep telling you that I find something missing in me and meeting him made me feel whole. He's really cool too! Unlike those other sloppy city brats!”
“Oh~ did my little devil have too many admirers to count in the city?" Nobara laughed as she was ruffled on the head by Uncle Sukuna, her father's older identical alpha twin brother.
"They're big wimps," Nobara says. "Megumi's the only cool one that's why he's my friend."
“I see,” Uncle Sukuna chuckled. “Maybe you were too cute for those city boys huh. Just like your father.”
“Sukuna!” Her father exclaims, face turning red.
Nobara lets a few days pass before she started acting sad around her father and Uncle Sukuna. Soon enough, her father talked to her, asking why she seemed so sad.
“I miss Megumi. I wanna see him.”
“But he's in Tokyo...” Her father looked unsure on what to do.
“Let's go there! I wanna see Megumi. He said we can meet at a sweet shop he always goes.” She puts on her best puppy eyes and soon enough her dad agreed, saying they'll leave this weekend as he still have some work to do in the farm.
On the other hand, since Megumi was originally living in Tokyo, it was a short travel. He was picked up his dad's secretary, Nanami-san. The man explained to him that his dad was back at home, eagerly awaiting his arrival.
Before he could even step foot inside their large house, he was swept off the floor and pulled into a hug by his dad.
“Megumi~ Dad missed you a lot! Did you miss dad too?" His dad - Satoru - asked, pouting. His usual dark glasses perched on top of his nose, hiding his blue eyes.
“Yeah. I made a friend.”
His dad was acceptably shocked as Megumi rarely made any social connection from other people. “She's loud and brash but strong.”
“That's good to hear.”
“But she lives far away though so I don't know when I'll get to see her again.”
“That's too bad. Tell you what, if you ever get a chance to meet her again, tell me and I'll handle things okay?”
“Thanks dad.”
Now that Megumi has done his part of the plan, all he can do now is wait for Nobara's signal as hers would take the longest time planning for everything. They had exchanged numbers in summer camp and had continued updating eachother on their activities.
It was a few days later when Megumi received a message from Nobara stating of her successfully convincing her father and they were leaving this weekend.
Now they can only hope that this parent trap will work out.
Sooooo how was it? 😊 Would you like a part 2?
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literate-lamb · 4 years ago
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can I kiss you on the dancefloor?
Steve Rogers/Reader
One year into a relationship, yet still dancing in secrecy. Steve thinks he’s protecting you.
When a civilian and a hero fall in love, anything could go wrong. But not in the way Steve would have thought.
Or how the media play with the lives of superheroes.
►word count: 7.6k
► warnings(!): slight angst, alcohol
A/N: My gift to @blue-like-barnes for the Hoelentines Fic Exchange! I’m sorry it took some time, giftee. I didn’t expect this to turn into a monster (yikes). Thank you for hosting @amythedvdhoarder @chrissquares @drabblewithfrannybarnes ! Dividers from @firefly-graphics​ and GIF from Giphy
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On his day-offs, Steve Rogers was a man full of disguises. 
When they first started, it was the baseball cap and thick-rimmed glasses. He liked it, it was simple, but he knew it wouldn’t be long before someone would notice. How could one not when his face was the one plastered in old war propaganda, in the museums commemorating his achievements, and even flashes on the telly when you walk past the local electronics store. 
Hence, it wasn’t a surprise when the tabloids posted a photo of him in his disguise, waiting at a crosswalk on a cold night. 
���Captain America spotted on a midnight stroll’ came the next morning. It was taken after he was done walking you home, thankful they didn’t catch a glimpse of you.
“So capsicle, where were you off to last night?” Tony greeted him at breakfast, offending paper in hand. He unrolled it, opening and making a show of reading, displaying the front page for all seated to see. “Nice reading glasses, wasn’t aware you needed them.”
Striding into the room, Natasha came and snatched the tabloid. She gave it a critical eye, judging, before turning towards him. 
“Hmm, recycling disguises, Rogers? I’m disappointed.” 
Steve just groaned in reply.
The second time it happened, he had gone to the Black Widow herself for advice. He had expected sound advice coming from a former KGB spy who spent her paycheck on hair, but all he got was a stick-on mustache. Something about ‘needing to blend in rather than pointing the obvious’.
“I don’t know what you’re up to, Steve, but at least it’s better than that nerd get-up,” she smirked.
You had liked it. Giggling every time he kissed you, the fibres tickling your lips. He had ‘a caterpillar’ on his upper lip as you called it. And Steve had learned to get used to the itch.
But it wasn’t long before his new look was the star in barbershops. 
‘Captain America’s new look takes the world by storm.’ They had caught him again in another paparazzi shot. Tony had teased him for days after.
He couldn’t shake it off easily, constantly reminded of it when he walked the streets. Seeing them on screens when he’s channel-surfing. Even when he’s training new recruits, his vision filled with a sea of unshaved cadets, their hairy upper lips a prominent fixture.
He knew he had to do something when Bucky and Sam came in one day sporting twin mustaches. 
He discarded the strip of fibre in the bin. Reminding to pay Natasha a visit.
The third time he decided, he seeked out the help of Scott Lang, who was a master in keeping out of sight during his burglary days. Scott had given him a black beanie and told him to grow out his facial hair. 
The beanie hid his golden locks and the beard made him look rugged. You loved it, your thighs quivered when it was him and you in the four walls of your room. Uncontrollable groans as he went down. ‘Beard burn’ you had called it. Whatever it was, he loved the sounds you let out.
Four months. That’s how long the disguise lasted. His longest disguise to date. 
Before he became a trend.
‘Captain America is the new style icon.’ The internet sleuths found out where he got it too. ‘The sale of Walmart beanies skyrocketed by 70% thanks to Captain America.’
Tony had bought everyone in the compound a black beanie for Christmas, including the receptionist.
“Our grandpa’s a trendsetter, who knew,” he announced. Steve had smacked the back of Tony’s head with the beanie before retiring the disguise.
Now, sitting in The Sleeping Cat, Steve had opted for aviators and a Nasa baseball cap. He still kept his beard after your pleads, and he liked the look, he admits. It was back to basics for him and this was one of the only places where he was safe from prying eyes. Afterall, it was in this very café where he had met you.
The Sleeping Cat was a quaint little thing, a hole in the wall in a quiet part of the city. Not many knew of its existence, the entrance obscure, a blink and you’ll miss it. Which made it all the more perfect for him. The baristas knew him and minded their own business, offering him a smile every time he visited. ‘You’re safe with us’ they seem to say. 
He could say the same about the patrons. Most that frequented were regulars like him, they seemed the same, looking for a place to get away from the overbearing world. They seemed to share an understanding, paying him no mind as if he was just another man they passed on the streets. And that’s how he preferred it. 
Just a boy from Brooklyn.
Ding!
The chime of the door pulled him out of his thoughts. Facing the door, he saw you, smiling as you came through.
This was the best part of his days. 
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You had met Steve Rogers at the most unexpected of times.
Terminated from your previous job at a small gallery, dumped by an ex-boyfriend after a 2 year relationship, you were at an utmost low. To escape your roommates —in case of pitying or prying, but if you were honest with yourself, it was to escape your own humiliation— you left the apartment on weekdays under the guise of going to work. In reality, you were at The Sleeping Cat applying for jobs on your laptop.
It was during one of the afternoon hours when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
Turning to your left, you were greeted by a pair of startling blues. They were bright but worn as if they’ve seen too many. Looking at the bigger picture, you took him in. Hair hidden under a cap, a sharp jaw and an equally sharp nose, and if you looked closely, you thought you could spot a few moles on his cheeks. He looked familiar, but you couldn’t put a finger to it.
Eyes fleeting to his lips, you realized he was actually talking.
“Huh?” 
“I was wondering if this seat’s taken?” He smiled, gesturing towards the empty seat opposite. He was clearly amused.
“Yeah, sure, sure,” you nodded, making room for his things. 
The following days, it became a routine and an arrangement. You would be at the café as early as the owner would allow, laptop in hand. While he would come in the afternoons in a different jacket each day, a sketchbook in hand. You would be propped up, sending application after application, praying for luck. While he would quietly sit, churning sketch after sketch, in a relaxed demeanour. 
Sometimes you would peek over your screen and watch him draw for a few minutes, lost in his strokes. When you look up, you’ll find his eyes locked with yours, and you’ll immediately reimmerse yourself behind the screen, embarrassed.
It was a comfortable routine. You came to expect him everyday. And on the days that he didn’t make it, you felt a bit forlorn looking at the empty seat. You both didn’t talk much, yet you were getting comfortable in his presence.
Until one day, he broke the silence.
“So, what is it that you do?”
You stared, dumbfounded. Looking around there wasn’t anyone nearby. 
“Were you talking to me?” you asked.
“Yes,” he chuckled. “It’s just that you’re always on your computer…” he trailed off.
“I’m an assistant curator at an art gallery— or, er, used to be,” you explained. “Long story short, I lost my job and now I’m looking for a new one, that’s why I’m here.”
He seemed to ruminate before replying, “So you know a thing or two about art?”
You both started a new routine; one with a lot of communicating. He would ask you about your mundane weekends and interests and in turn, you would ask about his. Except, he was anything but mundane. 
On the days he was absent, you learned Steve was away on a lot of ‘business trips’. When he returned, he had never failed to present you with a souvenir. From matryoshkas to sarongs, it was always a surprise accompanied by a tale.
“The pattern on the sarong is called a batik, and it’s amazing how they’re drawn using wax like a liquid crayon. It’s an interesting art form.”
Outside of your little routine, he was an enigma. You barely knew about the Steve outside of The Sleeping Cat. Sometimes he threw the names ‘Bucky’ and ‘Sam’ a lot —out of exhaustion— without giving away anything, remaining tight-lipped. While his mysteriousness should’ve been a cause of concern, you couldn’t help but gravitate towards him, wanting to peel more of his layers, like the shell of a matryoshka. 
The routine went on for a few more weeks, with calls of interviews and business trips in between. Before you received a phone call.
“I got a job! At the Whitney!” you squealed, shaking his shoulders over the table, oblivious to the other patrons. Steve endured it, smiling. 
“Congratulations,” he said when you’ve calmed down. “I guess this is the last time I’ll be seeing you?”
You froze, high coming down, realization settling in. After a few weeks of secret meetings, of getting to know him, of having lunch together, of sharing laughs, you’ve come to see Steve as a good friend. And maybe, there was the birth of something more.
“Let’s exchange numbers,” you said, opening your phone. “This way, maybe we can hang out again. Have lunch sometimes?”
“I’d like that.” He smiled. 
And the rest was history.
Making your way towards The Sleeping Cat, you amused yourself with past memories. Memories from almost over a year ago. 
Steve had come to give a speech at the opening ceremony of an exhibition at the Whitney. Your first exhibition as a curator. An exhibition on art from the war times. When they had announced his title, a loud ‘oh’ was the only thing you could muster. 
The ‘ding’ of the bell resounded, announcing your arrival. Heading in, you saw a head perked up, beaming, baseball cap securing his golden locks and aviators hiding his mesmerizing blues.
This was the best part of your days.
But maybe, you were getting a little tired.
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If someone were to ask you months ago if you were happy and content with your relationship, you would’ve replied with a swift yes in a heartbeat. No hesitation, no reservations, no doubt. Now, sitting in the same cafe, the same one you frequent on dates, the same one you both met in, you weren’t sure of the answer anymore.
As Steve gets up to order for you both, your eyes wander to his sketchpad. It was filled with sketches of random objects; the flower on the table, the pastries on display, sometimes the patrons of the cafe, and occasionally, you. 
“You’re my favourite subject, so far.”
It was not for the lack of love or the lack of affection. Steve was the most loving; loyal in so many ways, gentle when asked, and protective to a fault. Maybe the protectiveness was the cause of it all.
Staring at Steve’s back, your mind shifted to a memory from the past week, when your roommate pulled you aside from a get-together at the ice rink.
“Hey,” she called your name, taking a hold of your elbow. “Can I talk to you for a sec?”
“Sure, what’s up?” you followed her, leading you to the sides.
Her eyes conveyed her worry. It amplified with the chewing of her bottom lip, a nervous tick.
“Are you and Steve… okay?” she asked, her brows perked. “I’m not sure if you notice, but today, it’s full of couples.” 
You looked towards your group of friends. There was your roommate’s girlfriend tying her skates, your other roommate and her boyfriend talking to another couple —their friends— and they were all holding their significant other’s hand. Oh.
“I don’t want to throw you out of the loop, but there would probably be a lot of double skating involved today,” she said, widening her eyes, looking comical. “Do you want me to talk to Steve? Maybe I could convince him to come, y’know?” 
Out of your two roommates, she was the only one who knew of your paramour. Having walked in on you and Steve making out on the couch. She was sworn into secrecy, with the promise of autographs from all the Avengers. 
“Look, it’s okay,” you assured her. “I can handle skating alone, and you know why he can’t really come here with us,” you shrugged.
“Okay, but aren’t you tired? Of all this sneaking around? Don’t you want to shout to the whole world ‘I’m fucking Captain America!’” she flailed.
You shushed her, muffling her mouth with your gloved hand.
Part of the secret was how Steven Rogers was an engineered superhero. A superhero with many enemies, leading him to fear for his loved ones, and that included you.
You went into the relationship whole-heartedly knowing the challenges; discreet rendezvous, kisses in the dark, minimal contact in public. You were his secret and he was yours. It was for your own good, wasn’t it?
“What’s got your little head wrapped up?” Steve’s voice startled you, bringing you back to the café. On the table, two cups of coffee and a slice of cake was served.
“Hmm? Oh, just thinking about this party the museum’s throwing this weekend,” you took your cup, blowing, contemplating your next words.“Say, how about you and I, I don’t know, go as dates?”
Steve crunched his brows. “You know that’s a hard thing for me to do, especially with your colleagues around.”
“I know! But maybe… maybe, you can go in one of your disguises this time? Remember that one time we went to Central Park?”
Steve exhaled, he remembered that afternoon. It was the one-off that you both ventured on a date in the outdoors. 
Decked in his beanie, casually strolling through Central Park with you beside him. Although he was still wary, keeping his hands in his pockets, fighting the urge to hold your hand. 
No one had recognized him; not the ice-cream man, not the kids running around, not the mothers pushing strollers. No one. 
“I’ll see what I can do.”
You leaned forward, pecking him on the lips multiple times. “Thank you!”
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“You sure this looks convincing?”
“Trust me, punk. Grade A assassin here, thank you very much,” Bucky boasted while fixing the wig on his scalp, untangling the unruly strands.
Steve had sought Bucky for help, with the belief that assassins were good at hiding in plain sight (and maybe, he just didn’t want to go to Natasha twice). Bucky was also his most trusted confidant and he knew about you, Steve trusted him not to tell. But now looking at himself in the opposite mirror, he wasn’t so sure of that anymore. 
Long dangly tresses hung on the sides of his face parting in the middle, a trimmed beard leaving a bit of goatee, and to finish it off, Bucky dressed him in a checkered shirt consisting of random coloured squares. He looked like he just stepped out of the 60’s.
“Oh, wear these,” Bucky handed him a pair of large wire-framed glasses. “Done.”
Steve took a look in the mirror. A seedy pimp was the first thought that crossed his mind.
“Thanks Buck, I owe you one.”
“Sure Stevie, just bring me around next time on one of your dates, I’d like to meet her,” Bucky winked. “Or make it double.” He wagged his brows. “Like old times.”
Steve snorted.
“Okay, I got—“ Steve’s words halted when an alarm blared overhead. It demanded their attention.
“Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, your presence is required in Prep Room six,” called the disembodied voice. “There’s been a breach of extraterrestrial energy in the airspace of Sweden.”
Steve exited and rushed through the hallways, Bucky following close behind. He made it through the living quarters, trudging to the training wing before entering one of the many prep rooms. 
“Nice costume, Cap. Halloween already?” Sam quipped. Almost everyone was present, they were equally amused.
Before anyone else could follow, Tony strided in immediately, grumbling. “Okay team, there’s been an E.T synthezoid putting holes in the ozone layer. I’ll fill you all in the quinjet. Suit up and meet me at the hangover in 10.”
Everybody gathered their equipment and hurried to leave, passing by him. Before Tony could, he took notice of Steve and did a double take. And then a third. 
“What’s with the pimp daddy get-up, Capsicle?” 
Steve huffed, ignoring the jab. “I have something that I need to attend. How important am I in this, Tony?”
“We need all hands on deck. We don’t really know what we’re up against, Fury’s still running recon,” Tony explained, squaring his shoulders. “Whatever it is you have, Cap. It can wait. Lives are at stake here.” With that, he left, not standing by for a response.
“Darn it,” Steve cursed, removing the glasses and the wig.
He left the prep room with his shield in hand. With one hand, he shot a text to you. He’ll make it up next time.
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Loverboy [6:30 PM]: Emergency mission
Loverboy [6:30 PM]: Can’t make it, sorry
You switched the screen off, sighing. Around you, the party was in full swing. Invitees mingling with refreshments in hand, discussing the pieces on display tonight, and bidding on the pieces they find exquisite. Hors d’oeuvres and champagne were being served, brought around by servers on silver platters. You’ve been munching on them non-stop, grabbing one every time a server comes your way, needing something to occupy you.
Surrounding you, you’d see the occasional couple walking around, enjoying their time. The palms of their hands locked in each other’s as they navigate together, rarely straying afar. 
You clenched your hand, reminded of how empty it felt. 
It was inevitable, you were warned of this, you were told to expect this. Dating a superhero meant that he was never solely yours. You were sharing your boyfriend with someone, except that someone was the world. 
“Hiiii!” a shrill voice broke your thought, calling you by name. A blonde woman, followed by a brunette emerged from the gathering of art-goers, headed towards you. “It’s been a long while!”
“Hey! Yeah, it’s been awhile,” you waved, recognizing the two. 
When they reached you, you were aware of the slight tension in the air, leaving the three of you standing awkwardly. After all, these two were your ex-colleagues and you didn’t exactly leave the previous gallery on good terms. Tonight was a night with masks, it seemed.
“So, how are you two doing?” you decided to get it over with.
“We’re fine, everyone’s fine! But how are you? We heard you worked here now, pretty impressive,” the brunette —Claire— winked at you. You laughed.
“Yeah, it’s so nice seeing you again, and at the Whitney? The pay must be good, you know what I’m saying?” Hilda chimed, knocking her elbows with yours. You didn’t appreciate it but you endured.
 “Say, what are you doing over here far away? Why not you join us over there,” Hilda pointed, towards a mounted canvas at the end of the hall. It was occupied by two men in a discussion among themselves. “Chat a bit to catch up, a bit of art philosophical debate in between. What do you say?”
You contemplated her offer, not wanting to seem pretentious, but thought about the false flattery and ego-stroking that would sure ensue in their company. The thought of it drained you.
“It’s okay,” you waved them off nervously. “I have to call my boyfriend sooner, gotta check up on him and let him know I’m... alright.” You held up your phone, playing on convincing.
“Oh? He isn’t here tonight?” Claire seemed to feign worry. 
“No, he got caught up with something. He’s a busy man,” you cooked up an excuse. No one could know. 
“Okay… In that case, we’ll leave you to it. Maybe we’ll bump into each other sooner.”
“Yeah, I’ll see you guys soon.”
They waved before backing away into the mass of patrons. You let out a breath you didn’t know you held in. 
While the interaction was unexpected, this was what you had to deal with when it came to the question of your relationship. The excuses, they became second nature to you. The lies. The deceit. Anything to protect Steve’s identity, and inadvertently, you.
Throughout the night, you mingled with any clients interested in a work of art, all the while stepping out of Hilda and Claire’s line of sight. You didn’t wish a repeat of the earlier evening.
When the crowd started dwindling, signalling the end of the night, you were relieved of your duties. You headed straight for the restrooms after, one getaway before leaving. You huddled yourself in a cubicle, locking it shut.
Seconds in, you heard the creak of the restroom door followed by the clicks of heels.
“Can you believe it? Someone like that got the chance of working here.” 
You recognized the nasally tone. It was Claire. 
“Yeah? Not like she deserves it. I mean look at her? Demure, slow. It’s like talking to a mouse. I bet she’s a prude too.” That was Hilda.
The gushing of the faucet muffled their voices, but their sharp words were clear as day, your ear catching every snark and hiss.
“And when she was talking about her boyfriend? He probably doesn’t even exist, it was just to get off our backs,” Hilda paused. “Last time I heard, her boyfriend dumped her. So, I guess she’s creating imaginary ones now.” 
They both cackled.
By now, you knew they were talking about you. Their words didn’t hurt as much, you knew the colour of their hearts beneath the masks. But was that how people viewed your hidden relationship? A facade? A farce?
Once the door clicked shut, and the tapping of their heels faded, you left the restroom, heart feeling heavier.
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(y/n) [6:45 PM]: stay safe stevie ! remember to hydrate
(y/n) [6:46 PM]: punch those meanies
(y/n) [6:46 PM]: (`⌒*)⍟-(`⌒´Q)
Steve chuckled when he turned on his phone, amused at your texts. You always sent him good luck messages every time he went off for missions. Although he didn’t seem to get the emoticons that you sent, even after being taught by Peter Parker. He just didn’t get them.
Steve dialed your number, sitting on the edge of the bed as he dried his washed hair. Beeps ringed before you picked up, your smooth lilt permeating the speakers. 
“Hello? Stevie?”
Steve smiled, missing the caress of your voice after a day filled with explosions and cries.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he greeted. “How’s my girl been?”
“Great, now that you called,” you teased. “But are ‘you’ fine?” you emphasized.
On the other end of the line, you mirrored his position, sitting on one corner of the bed. Picking the newspaper in your lap, you observed the front page: ‘Avengers saves the Arctic!’ 
“Same old, same old,” his voice carries. “Listen, about yesterday—“
“It’s okay,” you interrupted him, other hand gripping the newspaper. “You have to protect the Earth and that also means me. You don’t have to apologize, I knew what I signed up for.” 
Did you? Or was it now a hollow statement to convince yourself?
“I still want to make up for it, my girl deserves that much,” he responded.
You slowly unclenched the paper. It left Steve’s form crinkled.
“If you want to sooo bad,” you exaggerated. “There’s a Valentines charity ball for our arts program in three weeks time. You think you could make it this time?”
“You know no promises, but I plan to, even if I have to do everyone’s laundry for a week.” You heard rustling on the other line. “What’s the exact date? I’ll put it on my calendar.” 
“The 16th.” Scratchy scribbling filled your ear, the sound loud in the silence. 
“Done. Can’t wait to see you all dolled up, sweetheart.”
“Me too, baby,” you said. “At least put on a nice moustache this time.”
He laughed. Your heart felt lighter. To him, it was probably nothing, but to you, it was a form of reassurance. A reassurance that what you had was real.
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“Steve, you got a moment?”
The aforementioned man turned around, taking a glance over his shoulder. Sharon Carter slowed to a stop, a small smile on her face. As always, she carried an air of superiority, matching that of Steve’s wavelength. Yet today, it seemed dim.
“I think we need to talk, you have time for coffee?”
Glancing at his watch, he nodded. “Sure, Sharon. Lead the way.”
She took them outside of S.H.I.E.L.D and into the chilly air of DC, navigating through streets and crowds while huddling in their coats. They chatted, breaths puffing as they caught up, the familiar scenes passing by.
He hadn’t been in DC in awhile, it felt good to be back. 
“We’re here.”
Sharon headed in first, holding the door for him. He thanked her. They ordered and got seated. A smile was shared, strained as it seemed. 
“Better just rip the band-aid off,” Sharon sighed. “I miss us.” 
“Sharon—“
“Please, hear me out first,” she insisted, showing her palm. “We probably shouldn’t have done what we’ve done after Aunt Peggy’s funeral. I just lost someone I looked up to the most, and you lost the woman that you loved. We were both grieving. It wasn’t fair to the both of us.”
“While I do miss us, I know that it wasn’t meant to be,” she continued, shooting a sombre smile. “I understand that now. I guess, what I wanted was closure.”
Her hand quivered on the table between them. Steve clasped his over hers, offering to soothe.
“I don’t regret what happened in Germany. While yes, it should have not happened, it was what we thought we needed at that time. We both lost someone we held dear,” Steve explained, hoping his words reached her. “None of it was a mistake, Sharon. You’re still someone I trust and hold dear, remember that.”
Steve clutched her hand tighter, running his thumb over her knuckles in circular motions, attempting to calm and show understanding.
In his efforts, unknown to the two, the shutter of a camera went off across the street.
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Something felt off. Everything that could go wrong, went wrong. At first, you thought it was your own anxious mind running. 
You woke up late on a work day, burned your eggs and toast, accidentally wore unmatching socks, and your roommate was acting weird. All jittery when you entered the hall, stammering her words, and performing this bizarre dance when you walked past the living room. You gave her no mind when you passed the threshold and slammed the door, phone gripped in hand.
Loverboy [6:00 AM]: Good morning, dear 
Loverboy [6:01 AM]: [image]
A photo of Steve, sweaty after a run showed on the screen. He was smiling, shirt stained and clinging to his chest. You had taught him how to take selfies.
You [7:20 AM]: morning, handsome
You [7:20 AM]: 😍😍😍 
The morning texts were the best part of your morning commute. It made the arduous and packed journey worthwhile. Even when you almost tripped at the doors, it couldn’t take away your joy.
You made it just in time and clocked in, meeting clients and discussions with artists throughout the day. It was uneventful, although the bad luck seemed to have followed when you spilled your coffee on the concrete.
It was when you left the museum that your day took a turn for the worst.
On the ride home, the man opposite you was reading a newspaper. Nothing unusual, but at a glance, you thought you saw a familiar face printed on the corner. Before you could take a closer look, the man folded it in half and got off.
A few minutes later, you arrived at your stop, exiting the station with the fast-paced crowd. That’s when you were bombarded.
Lining the streets, your vision was filled with the scattering of a crowd of papers. Every face you saw was plastered in them.
‘The Good Captain In Love?’
‘A Superhero & A Civilian Romance?’ 
‘Captain America’s Girl? Mysterious Woman Sighted’
The sight of them left you in a panic, your anxiety spiking through the roof. Your world started spinning, everything —buildings, trees, faces— blending altogether. Everywhere your eyes deflected, a headline invaded your sight, imprinting itself on your retinas. Had they found out?
Composing yourself, you headed towards the nearest news stall, mind boggled with too many questions and not enough answers. How? Why? When?
Only, it wasn’t your face they were publishing.
‘“Oh Captain, My Captain” America in love? Spotted last week in DC was Captain Steven Rogers with a mysterious lady. They seemed to be cozy with each other, an eyewitness told Us Weekly. Story on Page 11.’
The photograph showcased Steve with a blonde woman, sitting in a café with their hands clasped on the table. Your heart shattered at the sight, remembering how empty yours have felt lately. 
Was he purposely out with this woman in public? What did that mean for you? Why were you shadowed?
“Are you and Steve… okay?”
“She’s creating imaginary ones now.”
“Aren’t you tired? Of all this sneaking around?”
“You know that’s a hard thing for me to do.”
“Hey lady, you gonna pay for that?”
You were shaken out of your stupor. Looking down, you were clutching the magazine too hard, ripping the image of Steve and the woman in half, right in the middle where their hands met.
You apologized to the man and paid for the magazine. Immediately discarding it in the next trash bin you saw.
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“So… you and Sharon?” Sam had asked him after training.
“What?” 
“You, and, Sharon,” Sam emphasized, pronouncing each syllable. “Are together. Man, when were you gonna tell me? I thought it was over.”
Steve froze before replying, “Because it is. A long time ago.”
“Well, this seems to say otherwise.” 
Sam showed him his phone, the screen displaying an article; ‘Captain America’s Girl Revealed. A Family Affair That Transcends Time.’ On top of the article was a photo of him and Sharon at the cafe in DC, his hand atop of hers on the table. A zoomed in version of their hands were provided, fueling the tabloid’s narrative.
Steve paled at the sight. This wasn’t supposed to happen. This was his fears manifested; his anonymity taken, his privacy invaded, but his worst fear was putting his loved ones in danger. And if it was due to their association with him, it would leave him racked with guilt. 
While the tabloids were wrong, he knew that Sharon could defend for herself. You on the other hand… 
His heart rate rose, a new wave of anxiety spiked. Steve wondered if you’ve seen this. No, you must’ve seen this. 
Fishing for his phone, with clammy hands, Steve quickly dialed your number, anxiously waiting for the beeping to end. 
‘The number you’ve dialed is not—‘
“Damn it!”
His outburst surprised Sam, shocking him. Sam gave him a look, inquisitive. 
“Sorry Sam, I have to run.” 
He left, heart in his throat.
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When Steve arrived at your apartment, he was almost out of breath. He was still anxious, the ride here not doing much to his addled mind. But he was determined.
Rapidly knocking on your front door, Steve composed himself. When it opened, he was met with the sight of your roommate -- the one that he has never met before.
“Ca-Captain America?” she yelped, shocked to see him on the doorstep.
“Is your roommate in?” he steeled.
“Which one—” 
“Steve,” a voice interrupted.
The door pulled further, widening the entrance. Steve was met with your familiar roommate. She was tense, arms locked across her chest, eyes full of fury. Steve detected something else in them; worry.
“You fucked up,” she said. He winced.
“I know,” he admitted. “And I’m here to make things right. Can I please see her?”
She sighed, stepping in, nodding towards your room. 
Steve hastily walked in, stopping in front of your door. He knocked thrice, signalling you, before turning the knob. It was unlocked. The room was dark when he entered, every source of light switched off, except for your curtains. 
Sitting on the edge of the bed was you, figure illuminated by the street lights against pitch black darkness. When he stepped in closer, you looked up, eyes meeting his. 
Steve turned on the lights and closed the door. He took a good look at you; hair frazzled, eyes bloodshot and dry, nose red. You were the image of heartbreak.
“Are you ashamed of me?” you asked, eyes locked with his. 
“What? No, I—“
“Is it because I’m not strong?” you cut him off. “I know she’s Peggy’s niece… a-and I know how much you loved her. She was your first love.”
“She and I, it’s all in the past. She moved on and lived her life, and I… did too.”
“But did you really, Steve? Move on?” you whispered, getting up. You stood in front of him. Steve could see how puffed your eyes were from crying. “Or was I just… a rebound?”
“No. No, you were never a rebound,” he took hold of your forearms. “I care for you, too much.”
“Then why?!” you shrieked, shocking Steve. “Why the secrets? Why the hiding? Steve, you’ve never even introduced me to your friends. Shouldn’t they know?”
“I wanted to protect you!”
“Protect me from what?!” you roared, eyes full of fury. “The Avengers? If they knew about me, they would protect me. Don’t you think so?”
Steve had no words to that, his mind a jumbled mess.
“I’m… beginning to think that you’re embarrassed with me,” you sighed. “We’ve never been on a date publicly, as each other. We’ve never held hands in public. I want you to meet my friends. I want to introduce you to them, and maybe soon, I want you to meet my family.”
“B-but, I’m tired, Steve. Tired of all the hiding. Of all the sneaking around. I want to tell the world that I’m in love with Steve Rogers, not Captain America,” you sighed, shedding a few tears.
You waited for his reply, only to be disappointed. 
“You know I can’t do that.”
You saw red. All you saw was red. 
You started pushing him, swatting him in the chest. Steve didn’t fight back, letting you unleash your anger, your disappointment. He took your hits, letting you release your pent up emotions. He began backing away when you started advancing, back against the door.
“Get out! Get out!” you screeched, pushing him.
When he unlocked the door and crossed, you immediately shut the door in his face. Steve heard sobbing from inside, his heart shattering at the sounds. 
“This way, Captain,” your roommate approached him, showing him to the door.
Steve relented, shame flooding him. He fucked up.
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You stopped visiting The Sleeping Cat, wanting to avoid him at all costs. You blocked his number. You immersed yourself in your work, prepping for the upcoming charity gala. 
Sometimes you find yourself thinking about him when sleep proved to be difficult. It’s when you’re laying at night that you missed him the most.
But it was for the best, you reasoned. For you and him.
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The Avengers PR had pushed for a fix-it, publishing a story that spoke a truth. ‘Just Friends: Romantic Allegations Proved False’. Steve had hoped you’d seen it. 
He called you every day but found himself blocked from everything. He still tried, hoping you’d come around one day. He came by The Sleeping Cat every other day, sitting in the same spot, hoping to catch you. 
But you never came.
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You clasped the necklace in place, admiring how it sat on your clavicle through the mirror. You took a step back and took yourself in, smiling at what you saw. It didn’t reach your eyes.
Today was the day of the Valentines gala and you weren’t feeling particularly giddy about it. 
Opening your phone, you stared at the one contact that stood out, finger hovering over his name. That name used to give you so many feelings, but today it was a reminder that you were going alone, again.
Sighing, you threw it in your purse and left. Another lonely night, and on an even celebrating love.
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Days turned into weeks, and soon, before he knew it, the day of your Valentines gala arrived. 
Steve stared at the calendar. The heart-shaped doodle he drew called out to him, reminding him of fond memories. Fond memories that seemed like a distant dream. But then, he went back to last week, and it all came crashing.
He had hurt you. While thinking he was protecting you, he hadn’t realized he was inadvertently pushing you away. He had no one to blame but himself. 
He loved you. No, still loves you. You grounded him, gave him the normalcy that he craved. Reminded him of a distant time before he was Captain America. 
You made him feel like the boy from Brooklyn again.
While he was ruminating in his feelings, Steve was caught off-guard when the door burst open with Tony Stark coming through. From his peripheral, he could see Bucky and Sam peeking through the frame.
“Heard from the Manchurian Candidate that someone has a case of the achy breaky heart,” Tony said, smug.
“Leave me alone, Tony. I’m not in the mood,” he grumbled, setting down the calendar. 
“And leave you wallowing like shit while your girl is out there probably equally miserable? I know a thing or two about women, Rogers, and it’s that they don’t like to be kept waiting.”
Tony snapped his fingers and from behind, Sam came in with a tuxedo in hand.
“Thought you might need this,” Sam said. 
Bucky came out behind him, with a brush and can of hairspray. “And I still know how to do hair.”
“And I have friends in places,” Tony quipped. “I can get you in.”
Steve was surprised. His friends had surprised him. You would’ve loved them. He was left speechless.
“What are you waiting for, Cap? Suit up.” Tony winked.
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Swirling the glass of rosé, your gaze fell towards the dance floor. An upbeat song was being played as people flocked near the middle, letting their bodies take charge for the night. You saw your former co-workers among the throng, hands thrown around their significant others, having the time of their lives.
The gala was in full swing, if the crowd and chatter was any indication. Red and roses were the main theme, with a red carpet stretching from the grand staircase towards the main hall and roses lining every corner and wall. Taking it all in, you were proud to see your ideas visualized and work came to fruition.
You sipped your rosé, enjoying every bit of the gala as you could. From the sidelines, you spoke with a few potential clients and art collectors. Their presence made you feel your importance, and if you dared say it, a little less lonely.
It was during one of your little chats that you didn’t realize when the hall suddenly fell quiet. You turned around when you felt a tap on your shoulder.
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“Hi folks, mind if I crash your party?”
Steve smiled at Tony’s antics. They both had arrived at the gallery dressed in their best, and with Tony’s connections, they were granted access. 
Stepping down the grand staircase, Steve felt all eyes on him. He paid them no mind, the thought of you the only occupant of his racing mind. Gazing over the crowd, Steve spotted you to the side, occupied in a chatter. 
Taking deliberate steps, Steve soon found himself behind you. He admired your gown and hair, it entranced him. You still hadn’t registered his presence, even when your partner had ceased chatting and was now staring at him.
With a tap on your shoulder, he was taken away as immediately as you spun around. Steve took in your whole image; your dolled-up face, your intricate dress, your styled hair. It left him floored.
You always did manage to take his breath away. Was this what he had been missing out all this time?
Taking your unoccupied hand, Steve pressed a small kiss before meeting your eyes. 
“May I have this dance?”
Giving away your drink, you took his hand as he pulled your towards the centre, taking space among the crowd. A slow number started, and before you realized, you were swept in a slow dance. It didn’t take long before you felt the sensation of his two left feet.
“Sorry, a hundred years and you’d think I’d know how to dance,” he said.
A small smile lightened your face. Steve savoured it all he could. Gulping, he took the first step.
“I’m... sorry for what I’ve done. I realize now that you were right,” he started. “I thought I was protecting you, but now I see that all it did was push you away. You have all the rights to be mad at me. I was being an idiot, a selfish one. I didn’t think about how you felt about it.”
You winced. Steve had stepped on your toes again. He murmured an apology, resorting to swaying instead.
“Can we start again? No more hiding. No more disguises,” he breathed, keeping his eyes locked on yours. “ We can meet your friends, you can meet mine. Bucky’s been pestering me to bring you to the compound, he wants to meet you.”
You laughed. How Steve had missed the tune.
“How can I make it up to you? How do you want to take the first step? A picnic at Central Park? Dinner at the compound? A trip to the beach?”
You seemed to contemplate, a thoughtful look on your face. You both failed to realize all the eyes on you two.
“How about now?”
“Right here? Right now?” he asked.
“Yes, right here, right now,” you said, determined.
Without hesitation —no more— Steve dived in, planting a kiss on your wine-coloured lips for the whole world to see. Your first kiss in public, yet it felt as if it was only the two of you there, lost in the moment. 
You both didn’t notice the gasping crowd nor the clicks of cameras from photographers nor the booming laughter of Tony Stark. You both only felt the other in your orbit, and that was all that mattered.
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“Can you put that down? You’ve been staring at it for the past hour.”
You pouted, setting the frame on the side table, where it has been designated since its publication. 
“I can’t help it, I think it’s a good shot. Don’t you think so, Alpine?” you petted the snowy white cat lazing on the arm of the sofa. Its’ purrs intensified.
“Dinner’s ready!” Bucky shouted.
You and Steve left the room, joining the others in the dining room for dinner. On the side table, the framed article sat neatly, showcasing the tale of the famed occurrence that took place at a charity gala.
‘America’s Girl: The Modern Woman of The Captain’s Dreams.’
Fin.
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glowingbadger · 4 years ago
Note
Request for SFW and nsfw modern au Sylvain and Hilda with a (gn or female) s/o? Ty!
((I also got another ask for Sylvain and Ashe, so I'll just add Ashe here and knock them all out at once lol))
Sylvain, Hilda, Ashe x GN Reader
modern AU headcanons
SFW (nsfw below the cut)
Sylvain:
- Sylvain loves all of the wonderful little trappings of being your boyfriend. He was the campus fuckboy for so long, and he knows that his reputation precedes him- so having earned enough of your trust that you'd give him the chance to prove himself means everything to him. As such, he's very dedicated to sweet little gestures each and every day to reaffirm that he's yours. I've mentioned before, but he's likely to send you a "good morning <3" text each morning and send you cute animal pics when you're sad.
- He adores sharing clothes with you- even if your body type doesn't allow you to wear a shirt of his, he'll lend you a scarf, sunglasses, any kind of accessory. Sylvain just loves the visual symbol of your connection, the idea that you could share absolutely everything. And again, it's very "couple-y," which he loves, since he hasn't really done the whole "serious relationship" thing very much before you.
- As I've mentioned in prior modern hcs for him though- it's definitely not uncommon to run into an ex of his while out and about. They'll either be satisfied with throwing dirty glances his way, or they may be amicable enough to say hello and chat a bit. Even then, you're likely to get a laugh and an eye roll and a side comment that, "Oh yeah, you better keep this guy on a short leash or you never know what he'll get up to." Sylvain definitely feels pretty sheepish after these encounters, apologizing that you have to deal with all of this, but acknowledging that it's his own fault. These kinds of incidents are likely why he doesn't like to talk about his past flings or relationships with you unless you really press him.
Hilda:
- Hilda is just so much fun to be with. She always knows how to help you relax- perhaps even a little too much at times. She knows the best spots to lay out a blanket for a nap or a snack on campus, and all kinds of great local places to shop. If you're the type to enjoy some, er, plant life, if you catch my meaning, she's always got a great movie or album to enjoy during a smoke sesh. That said, she's also super-low pressure about what you choose to partake in with her. She figures that relationships are supposed to be fun, so there's no point in sweating the small stuff.
- She loves to take you shopping and dress you up. Hilda has a savvy sense of style that blends classic pieces with modern trends (and she's scary good at knowing which trends will pass and which will stick around longer), so she'll take any chance she can get to pick out a cute ensemble for you.
- It can be hard to nail down her more serious feelings and perspectives on things, including your relationship. In a strange way, being with her is so relaxing and enjoyable that it sometimes feels like she's just goofing off and isn't genuinely committed to you. If you bring this up to her, she's surprisingly level headed about quietly sitting and listening. Then, she leans close to you and rubs her nose against yours and says, "Of course I love you, silly! I wouldn't bother being with you if I didn't."
Ashe:
- Your friends and family absolutely love Ashe when they get to meet him, and they probably started rooting for you two to get together long before he actually got up the courage to ask you out. You'll be study buddies and probably in a couple extra-curriculars for a looong while before the mutual attraction becomes too conspicuous and frankly too awkward to ignore. Once you start dating though, he's super sweet and attentive, always checking in with you after a big test or when you've been out late to make sure you're alright.
- When he messages you, he takes his time considering how he wants to word things, and he's more the type to send you one solid paragraph, rather than several shorter messages. He also likes to send you photos throughout his day when he passes a beautiful or interesting flower, or meets a dog out on a walk or some such thing. Sometimes, if you've been too busy to see each other or one of you is traveling, he'll shyly ask for you to send him a selfie, and when he sees you, he just sits in his bed staring at you with a huge smile on his face, his heart absolutely fluttering with how lucky he feels to have you in his life.
- He'll lend you books with the margins just full of notes, with passages that he thought were interesting highlighted, and little doodled hearts around sections that made him think of you. He could spend hours trading ideas and headcanons with you about your mutual favorites, and he even enjoys when your ideas are different or even contrary to his. He finds having someone to bounce ideas off of like this just helps him appreciate the depth and nuance of a story that much more.
NSFW 18+ v
Sylvain:
- He's always got a condom and/or lube on hand, more or less ready to go at any moment. He's very obvious about how completely into you he is, casually grabbing a hand full of your ass around your dorm/apartment, blatantly eyeing you up and down when you wear something new around him, and so on. He's also not shy with others about your shared intimacy- if you don't tell him not to, he'll brag openly to his friends about how insanely hot you are, how amazing the sex is, in whatever amount of detail they can tolerate.
- Sylvain loves when you come up with something you'd like to try in bed, whether it's a toy of some kind, a kink, an outfit. In fact, skimpy outfits drive him near feral with lust- especially if it was your idea. The mere thought that you went out of your way to find and purchase a sexy little maid costume or something similar to wear just for him is incredibly hot to him, and he can't wait to show his appreciation for the gesture.
Hilda:
- Hilda very much enjoys mid-day sex followed by a nap, or slow, relaxing and intimate sex right before bed for the night. Basically, she likes to be able to curl up with you and drift off once you've both been thoroughly satisfied. She's also very comfortable lounging around in just one of your shirts and panties, even if you have roommates around. It's mostly a matter of feeling cozy and relaxed with you, but she also certainly doesn't mind that it gives you the chance to ogle her body as well.
- She absolutely knows how to dress to compliment her beautiful figure- bras with just enough extra support to make her breasts look wonderfully full and plump, shoes with just enough of a heel to lengthen the line of her legs and her give her hips that pleasant sway as she walks. If Hilda is aiming to get your attention, she will get it. She always appreciates when you notice a new look or piece of clothing she's trying out, but she likes it even more when you can't keep your eyes or hands off of her as a result. Partially-clothed sex is always a popular choice with Hilda, as it shows that she's successfully provoked you into wanting to spoil and pleasure her immediately.
Ashe:
- He definitely wants your first time together to be special. He's just so overwhelmed by how strongly he feels about you, how his heart pounds at your touch, how kissing you feels like flying. It may seem like an old fashioned impulse, but he'll want to wait a little while into the relationship before "going all the way," and when he does initiate sex, it's likely to be at the end of a long and lovely date night. A play, a pleasant walk through a tucked away little garden nearby, and a high-quality but not obnoxiously extravagant dinner, then he takes you back to his room and kisses you slow and deep, then says, "I'd... I'd like to be with you tonight- for real- if, uh, that's okay with you..."
- Ashe is the kind of guy who really savors a range of different sensations. He won't hesitate to go down on you before seeking out his own gratification- hell, the feeling of your nails through his hair as you arch up from his bed is satisfying enough for him for the time being. He checks in with you frequently the first few times you're together, always assuring you that he's here for you, that he adores you, that he only wants to make you happy.
- He's pretty demure about discussing his sex life, blushing madly if his more outgoing friends prod him for details (has he finally "sealed the deal" with you?? How'd he land such a cutie??). He's not likely to sext or ever ask for lewd pictures, but if you send him one that's even slightly suggestive, he'll blush madly and reply with what's practically a rant about how gorgeous you are.
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