#but i would 100% break them within 5 minutes of getting them

[hotwaterandmilk]

From now until April 2nd 2023 Fujii Mihona will be selling a variety of things on her BOOTH page as part of the virtual event, NEOKET4. Featured in this pretty solid line up are a variety of physical items from GALS!! and Ryuu-ou Mahoujin such as mirrors, acrylic keyholders, acrylic stands, t-shirts, can badges, tapestries, pillows, and more (including an umbrella which sold out almost instantly).

Now this brings us to the digital works Fujii-sensei is releasing;

An original GALS!! anthology (which is more like a one-shot)

A Ryuu-ou Mahoujin prologue which begins the Chi no Maki arc (with the series gaining an "official" English-language name for the first time, Magic Circle of the Dragon Kings).

Interestingly the description for the GALS!! anthology states in English that it will be receiving an English translation in the future with news to come so stay tuned, I guess!

At this stage there are no plans to release these digital works in a physical form, but if these plans change they will be announced through Fujii's official channels.

All NEOKET4 releases from Fujii Mihona's "Studio Mihonacchi" circle are available for a limited time only, with sales ending April 2nd, so please get in quick if you'd like to order (I think at this point it's way too late to bother saying she was manning her own digital stall this evening, as it's all over... but she was at one point which is awesome).

I had already ordered the one thing I definitely had to buy from this event, which was the Rino acrylic stand (I have a soft spot for Ryuu-ou Mahoujin) but I'll probably also get the digital manga as I really want to check out Ran with dark hair in the GALS!! anthology and omg am I ever keen to read more Ryuu-ou Mahoujin.

Anyway I don't have a lot of insight on this event or these items on a Friday night, I just thought I should give them a quick shout-out because I am always down for a popular 90s Ribon artist to make some noise on Pixiv/BOOTH!

[tpwk-formula1]

Omg hi. I just found you and cheered. I have a order.

Lando Norris, Thick Crust, Red Sauce,

Cherry Tomatoes, Root beer, Mango Smoothie,

Aftercare

If you could maybe make it a dizzy, inconcent reader where people flirt with her and she dosnt now and flirts back and Lando thinks the only way for people to leave her alone would be if she pregnant with his child. And he definitely has feelings for her. 🤭

✨️THANK YOU ✨️

Lee-Lee's Pizzeria Menu

thick crust sugar daddy red sauce rough sex cherry tomatoes "I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies" root beer daddy kink mango smoothie baby trapping dessert yes served by Lando Norris

Lando x Ditzy! reader

AN: Okay! So I am so sad that I had to close my requests early but in a week I got over 100 requests which is fucking amazing and I am so happy for them but I want to make sure requests are coming out in a timely manner so I will be completely all requests within the next few weeks and once the Pizzeria is back open it will be a rebrand... So if you have any prompt ideas, kinks, or overall things you want to see get added to the menu just send me a message and I'll see what I can do!

TW breeding kink, baby trapping, pregnancy, dirty talk, rough sex, creampie, jealous Lando

WC 1200+

Y/N POV

"Danny! You can't just say things like that," I laugh loudly with the Australian in front of me. I can feel my cheeks growing red from the sexual joke Daniel just cracked.

I can feel a hand on my lower back making me look over my shoulder to find Lando making my smile grow more before I lean up and place a kiss on his cheek.

"What are you two up to?" Lando questions with a slight edge in his voice.

"Was just telling, Y/N about my summer break," Daniel says with a smile. I watch as Lando's face grows in a smile before he's ushering us towards the bar.

"Don't wander to far," Lando tells me making me look up and smile.

"Okay, babe!" I say when I place a kiss on his cheek.

"Are you okay?" I ask Lando softly making him nod his head before flagging the bartender down and ordering both of us drinks.

As time passed I found myself talking with Charles and Ollie.

"Charles! You'll have to invite me over sometime!" I tell Charles as he finishes telling me how he finally got Leo to stop peeing in the kitchen.

"Hey, sorry to interrupt but I'm just gonna steal her away. We have early morning plans so I gotta get this one off to bed," Lando says randomly interrupting making me raise a brow before trying to speak.

"Say bye," Lando tells me before I can even say anything.

I just turn back towards the two men waving a good bye before following Lando out of the club.

"I literally told you not to wander off," Lando snapped when we finally hopped into our Uber.

"Lando, I could see you the whole time," I reply back softly not understanding why he was so mad.

"Could you? Cause there was a solid 5 minutes where I was wandering around to find you," Lando tells me roughly making me huff and turn my back on him to look out the window.

Lando and I sat in silence for the rest of the car ride when we finally pulled up to his apartment building instantly making me get out and march to the front doors not waiting for Lando.

When we get into his apartment I lock myself in his bathroom still not wanting to talk to him, but eventually I had to face him and when I walked out of the bathroom I was changed into a silky sleep dress while Lando was sitting in bed in his boxers.

"I don't wanna see you entertaining men anymore. You're mine," Lando says not even looking up from his phone.

"Last time I checked, you were the one who was adamant we were nothing more than sex and money," I reply back while climbing into the bed next to Lando.

"Do you see the way you walked into my home like it was yours? How you climb into MY bed like it was yours? The way you have half my closet full of your stuff? That's all because you're mine, whether it has been a discussion or not, you have come into my life and fucked up any prior deal, so fucking sue me if I set a boundary with you," Lando finally snaps back making me look around his room realizing that over the year of us hooking up for money I had basically moved in. I had made his home our home and I didn't even realize.

"Lando, I think we should have this discussion when we are both fully sober," I tell him softly. I knew what I wanted sober or drunk I wanted Lando to be mine but was this just some drunk game Lando was playing.

"No, I'm barely fucking tipsy., I didn't even realize you didn't realize you were mine. I thought it was unspoken," Lando tells me softly before turning towards me and placing a soft kiss on my lips.

"Do you know how many men want to fuck you?" Lando questioned with a raised brow making me laugh slightly.

"Lando, you're the only man who wants to fuck me," I reply back with a roll of the eye.

"You're mine," Lando said moving topics again and pulling me in for a heated make-out session.

I quickly climb into Lando's lap and grind my bare pussy against his briefs making his groan slightly.

"I'm gonna put a baby in you," Lando tells me softly making me sit up and stare at him in complete shock.

"The fuck are you on about now?" I ask Lando before he pulls me back into for a kiss where he flips us over so I am now under Lando letting him grind into me backing me whimper.

"You're mine and when you walk around that fucking paddock in 6 months everyone will fucking know you're mine," Lando said while trailing kisses down my neck making it clear he was marking his territory.

"You're insane," I whisper back but it quickly turns into a moan because Lando is leaning down and taking a soft lick out of my clit.

"Daddy," I moan when Lando starts sucking on my clit while lightly teasing my soaked hole with his fingers.

"Oh fuck," I scream out when Lando slips 2 fingers in and finds my G-spot.

"I want you to cum on my fingers," Lando says while speeding his actions making me feel the band in m stomach start to grow tight letting me know I was close to cumming for Lando.

"Daddy," I scream out when the band finally snaps and I'm cumming all over Lando's fingers. Lando helped ride my orgasm out before he's pulling his briefs down and roughly shoving his cock deep into my pussy.

"Oh! Daddy," I gasp still not fully recovered from my previous orgasm and can already feel a second one building up.

"Fucking hell, so damn needy already gonna cum for me," Lando said with a smirk while bringing his hand down to my clit and giving it a rough rub bringing me closer to the edge.

"Daddy," I whine when I feel myself reach the point of no return, cumming all over Lando's cock with a shout. I was shaking and so long in my own pleasure, I don't feel Lando's hips shutter as he fills my pussy full of his cum.

"I can't wait to watch you swell with my babies," Lando groans with a smirk while slowly pulling out of me.

"Lando, I probably didn't get pregnant from one time," I tell him softly with a laugh falling from my lips.

"I'll fuck you until you do," Lando says with a shrug. That night we fell asleep tangled in each other's arms.

6 weeks later

"Fucking hell," I gasp while staring down at the positive pregnancy test.

"I told you, you were gonna have my babies," Lando said with a proud smirk.

"Lando, what the fuck are we gonna do?" I ask starting to panic.

"Hey, calm down! It's all gonna work itself out," Lando tells me softly while pulling me into his chest.

"I can't wait to see everyone's face when you show up to the paddock supporting a bump caused by me baby," Lando tells me making me laugh lightly.

I knew we would figure everything out. It wasn't how I pictured myself getting pregnant but boy am I happy it's how it happened.

[jacksonholtenthusiast]

monster high fans!! especially monster high fans who like jackson and holt!!

so, it’s come to my attention that a lot of people don’t actually understand the canon reasons that the transformation takes place, and that’s okay, don’t worry! not everyone has a musical education, so i’ll just write you guys up a post so that you can understand the same way that us musicians do! <3

first of all, let’s recap the exact reason for the transformation, stated multiple times in canon material: music with a 4/4 time signature played in excess of 90 decibels.

let’s break this down!

starting with the 90 decibels, so we can leave the more complicated stuff for later:

90 decibels is the noise level at which you are advised to begin wearing protection. it is about the sound of a leaf blower or an average concert (the writers did a good job googling for this one!).

(HoH!J&H headacanoners, come get your food 😉)

however, since this is a requirement for the transformation, jackson can listen to any 4/4 music that is under 90 decibels! which is cool, but also contradicts webisode and movie material… i mean, come on, clawd’s phone is at most, an iphone 5, which only plays music at 81.5 dB (though modern iphones play up to 115 dB, so I guess that we can just call their technology ahead of their time? lol).

headphones can reach up to 100 dB, so i’m not surprised that j&h’s transformation is triggered using them.

anyway! most of the time, music is not played in excess of 90 dB. therefore, jackson can listen to anything he wants without jeopardizing his existence so long as he remains within a certain degree of sound. yay! jackson can still be an emo boy

secondly! a 4/4 time signature. now, what does this mean?

a lot of people get confused and figure that a time signature is referring to the BPM (beats per minute) of a song. while BPM is used in music, it is not used in this way. common BPMs for modern music are between 60 BPM (reggae) to 290 BPM (charleston dance music), though the average top range of BPM is around 160-180 BPM.

none of that matters to jackson! the BPM of a song has zero affect on whether or not they will transform, so again, jackson can listen to whatever music he wants to.

now, what is a time signature, then, if it isn’t the BPM.

well…

the time signature is the amount of beats by the kind of beats in each measure. so, for jackson, it would be four (numerator) quarter notes (denominator) per measure: a 4/4 time signature!

most songs are in 4/4 nowadays, because it’s just very common and easy to wrap your head around. however, there are some popular songs that are in other time signatures, for example:

- Nothing Else Matters - Metallica (3/4 Time Signature)

- When the Party’s Over - Billie Eilish (3/4)

- Idontwannabeyouanymore - Billie Eilish (3/4)

- I Love Rock ‘n’ Roll - Joan Jett and The Blackhearts (2/4)

- Baa Baa Blacksheep and The Wheels on the Bus ;) (kidding, but they are in 2/4)

So, i just guess that my point is that Jackson does not need to go completely without music. He has a lot of music that he can listen to in a lot of situations, as per the laws of canon.

I hope you enjoyed and that this was maybe a bit informative! Feel free to come scream about J&H with me at any time :)

[kimbapisnotsushi]

hey all welcome to me rating hq schools based on how homophobic they are on completely arbitrary-not-arbitrary rules LET’S GET IT

(i feel like i need to clarify that high score = not at all homophobic and that low score = disgustingly homophobic hope that helps!!)

karasuno: 1000000/100000 i’m including BOTH teams in this to represent the whole school boys’ vbc i don’t even think i have to cite reasons BUT girls’ vbc i just know that poor little underclassman had a heart attack when michimiya grabbed her face like that

seijoh: i’m going to take off a point right off the bat bc i wanted to deck oikawa so bad the first time i saw him. 9/10 the day is saved because kyoutani and yahaba put so much yearning into that one panel and also because kindaichi has multiple breakdowns over what kageyama means to him every few days or so. kunimi would commit gay-on-gay crime but i’ll allow that he has the right to

date tech: i know for a fact we’ve all been kogane at some point in our lives and also i’m pretty sure all the first and second years were in love with moniwa at some point. onagawa’s nickname is pantalones. aone hyper focuses on the aces of rival teams. having nametsu as a manager is mlmwlw solidarity. 4/10 i took points away because futakuchi is a little bitch and isn’t afraid to show it and would accidentally come across as homophobic in the process when he isn’t

shiratorizawa: see this is tough bc tendou reads all that shounen and semi is SO gender and probably holes himself up in the dorm writing song lyrics about having the biggest crush on tendou and also goshiki and shirabu are obviously pining for their upperclassmen but ushijima has some SERIOUS repression going on and washijou looks like he’d say that being gay is a disease BUT i do think he’s open to learning so like. 6.5/10?

johzenji: they have cute nicknames for each other AND i think they’d kiss the homies good night. also terushima fell in love with daichi within the span of fifteen seconds. 7/10 i took away points because they think saying “no homo” while holding hands stops it from being homo

kakugawa: komaki, asamushi, and minamida all rotate the brain cell between them. they all look like middle schoolers next to hyakuzawa to the point where i keep forgetting they’re not. komaki does the glasses push so i’m giving extra for that. 7.5/10 because when hyakuzawa comes out to them they freak out (out of concern and trying to figure out how to best handle it!) and then freak hyakuzawa out so everyone is just freaking out for a full five minutes

wakunan: nakashima and tabi deserved SO MUCH MORE also i love tabi’s hair so 11/10 the extra 1 is for their break down

nekoma: 1000000.5/10 mostly because i’m biased but hello???? we have DIVERSITY here we can go rivals to lovers AND childhood friends to lovers AND friends to lovers all in one team. nekomata is self-explanatory. the .5 is because i already mentioned before that lev would be such a top tier ally if he wasn’t already swooning over kenma and yaku

fukurodani: akaashi will go on tangents about how historians will say they were just best friends. whenever yukie and kaori cuddle in front of everyone konoha makes gagging noises bc of how sickeningly sweet they are. it’s funny but i’ll be taking points off for that and also because bokuto once got the school computers infected with a virus trying to google “two guys making out”. 2/10

shinzen & ubugawa: i’m putting them together bc daiki and masaki are in love and eri and mako are in love. they go on double dates all the time and also chigaya is a bro he gets trusted with all the secret “dude i think i’m _____” talks and never tells a single soul about them 100/100

itachiyama: iizuna is the mlm awakening at itachiyama. iizuna was SAKUSA’S awakening. komori and sakusa fight because they say can’t both be the gay cousin. whenever iizuna interrupts their bickering they call him homophobic. 9/10 i subtracted a point because their uniforms make me want to claw my eyes out

nohebi: we all know daishou had a thing for kuroo way back when so like. also have you seen hiroo’s hair? those bangs are emo as hell what even is that. 8/10 because they’ll be homophobic against other teams in the middle of the goddamn game to bait them and the only reason they haven’t lost MORE points for that is bc i love kuguri

inarizaki: -117478492/10 i’ll fight miya atsumu myself. i don’t think he’s homophobic he just pisses me off sometimes

kamomedai: they get 475828929392/??? just because i love them so much

mujinazaka: usuri instills fear and admiration in me. also unann and mami are basically an old divorced couple who want to get back together but don’t know how to. honda probably gets shit on a lot for having his whole entire name sounding like car dealerships. ezo is the only one with a brain cell and for that i’ll give 8.5/10

niiyama: maiko doesn’t even know there are labels for it she just thinks girls are pretty and she’d kill for them 500/10

tsubakihara: the headbands are really cute and i like their motto 100/100

[fatuismooches]

omg omg omg i’m brainrotting so hard abt arlecchino rn im so sorry if you’ve already been sent smtg similar but hear me out: childhood friends to lovers w the one and only knave <33

growing up w her in the house of the hearth, ur the only person she has a soft spot for <33 even when she began ascending the ranks of the fatui u know she’d always come back to you <33 i’m entering delulu land but im LICHERALLY going crazy over the idea that the reason arlie killed the previous knave was because they threatened you and she was not having that dgjskdjdjd im scratching clawing at the walls of my enclosure

BONUS: whenever u show up to fontaine’s hearth all the kids get very very excited bcos they’re going to be able to break SO many rules and arlie will mostly let it slide since she’s just so damn weak for you <33 all u hv to do is bat ur pretty lashes a little and she’s folding like a wet paper towel (“another story surely won’t hurt the children 🥺🥺 please?” “………fine”) one of the kids accidentally called you ‘mother’ once in front of her and her brain did a hard system reset for like 5 entire minutes LMFAO lyney is SO tempted to set up his idiot pining father with a special in-house magic show but lynette is a 100% sure arlecchino would straight up murder him if he tried (though she does agree with her brother in that father should just confess to you, because there’s no way you would ever say anything other than i love you too)

AHHMAKAONDW DW ANON I TOO AM BRAINROTTING HARD ABOUT ARLECCHINO AND I ADORE THIS HAHAHA CHILDHOOD FRIENDS TO LOVERS ONE OF MY FAV TROPES EVER 🤭 ooohhhh im words i cant describe rn…

Going to the House of Hearth and seeing shes always the quiet, solitary, speak to no one kid and your interest is piqued right away!! Yeah she ignores you for a while but you keep following after her so earnestly! On the missions, during playtime, during mealtime when she leaves to eat somewhere by herself but somehow you find her anyway… how can she not start to warm up to you? :( slowly but surely that cold mask of hers starts to melt just a tiny bit… you two are inseparable at that point, she refuses to work with anyone else <3 Arlie is… s-s-soft for you 🥺

AND UGHHHH her not forgetting about you even when she’s a higher-up, and a Harbinger 🤭 everyday, when she’s learning to adjust to her new duties, learning to deal with more incompetent people by the day… Arlie can just come back and rest her head on your shoulder and relax ❤️ (lmao regardless if it’s the former Knave or a random person they will be GONE hehe 😈😈)

AHHHH ANON THE BONUS IS MAKING ME GO CRAZYYY AJAIAIBDW I WOULD ADOPT THOSE BABIES IN A HEARTBEAT, THEY LITERALLY GET SO EXCITED BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS WHEN THEY HEAR THAT YOURE COMING!!! Help I would so be the parent who lets them break rules (within reason of course)!!! We can stay up past your bedtime!! Pillow fights and spooky stories and everything!! We can bake cookies together and playfully fight!! There are so much possibilities omg and Arlie is just like 🧍‍♀️yea there’s no way she would let this happen usually but,, sigh, the kids are literally beaming in happiness and crowding you and you’re laughing and smiling and looking so soft,, so fine, she’ll let it slide. But don’t expect her to join! (She’ll pop up around dinner time ❤️) (you *may* get her to join you for that one last story time, but it’s a very big *maybe*)

THE CHILDREN CALLING YOU MOTHER AHIAIVFW YESSS YESSS like bro you just give off motherly and parental energy to them, you are the parent they never had :( I always hc Arlie’s partner as being hella overprotective of their kids, like they are NOT getting hurt on your watch!! Making them separate meals if the regular food isn’t to their fancy, making sure their clothes don’t have holes in them, tucking them into bed and all :( Please the child would act as if they just said something normal and you’re just smiling really hard and blushing a lil bit and Arlecchino is just like 😐 outwardly but inside her heart is racing a bit ANISJAIAI. Like it just clicks for her that you’re really so wonderful… omfg she loves you so much.

And omg omg I would sooo love to be around baby Lyney, Lynette, and Freminet, they deserve the whole WORLD… you would clap and be surprised when they come home and show you all the new tricks they learned… you’d be their willing member from the audience to join them!! And Freminet, he’s a shy baby so you would just read him stories and help him with the big words :( you’d help him find more mechanical stuff to play around with and fix! And although Arlie doesn’t like when kids cry… the kids love you because they can cry into your arms and you won’t tell a soul 🥺

HAHAHA LYNEY BEING HIS FATHER’S WINGMAN 😭😭 he would so do it but Lynette reminds him every time that his life would be FORFEIT if he ever tried doing such a thing! Lyney is still thinking about it though 🤔, even the younger kids have caught onto Father’s pining for you! Like bro… Arlie, it is so freaking obvious how much you two like each other just kiss already smh (the kids have bets on who will confess first 🤭)

[amyintherapy]

Trauma layers

Therapy is such a mindfuck sometimes. I 100% get it when people say they don't think therapy would help them because they are pretty self-aware or self-reflective. Cause, that seems so freaking logical. But, I swear, with the right therapist you'll find yourself routinely shocked at how blind you actually can be to your own bullshit. Our brains try SO hard to hide our bullshit from us, it's insane. I guess I shouldn't speak for everyone, but it's so true for traumatized brains, at least. I know that minimizing or outright hiding your issues from you is how the brain responds to trauma. But it's still eye opening to me when I catch on to new pieces of this in myself.

I went into my appointment today with several ideas of what to potentially talk about written down. I knew what had been on my mind the most, but I wasn't sure if it made sense to use the appointment to discuss it because I've discussed essentially the same thing with my therapist multiple times in the past. So a big part of me was like eh, that'd be a waste of time. I know everything there is to know about myself in this area. Probably spend more time on these other things as that'll probably be more productive/helpful. But I decided to at least mention it and see where it goes. I expected to jump topics pretty quickly as I didn't think we'd find new ground to cover. But we wound up spending 45ish minutes out of the hour on it. And it was productive. And yet, it's hard to really express why. It's not like there was some big new revelation. I largely went into it knowing what my trauma is, why I have this trigger, what my default response is, etc etc etc.

To spell out this piece of my trauma a bit...

I had an eggshell stepdad, and a constantly-overwhelmed semi-eggshell mom. My stepdad exploding was my mom's biggest trigger. And anger from either of them basically means anything could happen. Some of what I saw happen after anger, much of it starting off with really low level things like..someone shutting the door a little harder than normal (not really slamming it) or tossing their keys onto the counter a little too loudly. These kinda things were triggers to me as a kid because I knew they could mean an explosion was coming. Anyway, what I dealt with related to my eggshell caregivers' anger...

Emotional abuse between adults (very common)

Emotional abuse at kids (very common, my siblings who were externalizers caught more than I did, but I couldn't avoid it either)

Lower-level physical abuse of kids (semi-common but was my siblings, not me that I ever recall)

Domestic violence between adults (very rare, maybe 2-3 times ever)

Items being broken/physical aggression with household items (Rare-ish, maybe once a year?)

Recurring arguments or break-ups (extremely common. Fights rarely stayed as one event. They'd usually argue, try to wrap it up, and then explode again within a few hours, or perhaps even a few days later, but there was almost always a round two, at minimum. Core issues were never resolved, clusters of several related arguments over a week or two were common as well.)

Once I saw an adult hold a gun to their head after threatening suicide.

Once I saw an adult pull a gun on another adult (neither was part of my household).

Maybe 4-5 times over my childhood cops came to our house following arguments and/or violence.

My coping method was to try to be pleasing when the anger was lower-level. Keep things light if you can, but at minimum, don't do anything that might set anyone off. Once anger was bigger, just try not take up any space. Outright leaving (like going to my room) would sometimes get noticed in a negative way, so don't flee, but stay as far away as you can without actually leaving. Like...stay in the living room but sit silently on the couch, pretending you don't even notice the argument happening. Try to go unnoticed...blend into the decor. Stay out of the line of fire when the bombs are going off, basically. And when that failed and you're in the line of fire, fawn/people please to try to 'fix'.

What this looks like for me now, as an adult - is still to try to 'fix' other people's irritation, frustration, low level anger if I can find any way to. Or with 'big' anger, kinda freeze, or try to fawn/people please if it's directed at me. I can't feel safe if others are upset, so I try to absorb it so I can do something about it. And after someone around me shows anything adjacent to anger (like frustration) my brain likes to assume this is just 'round one' of anger, and round 2 will happen soon and will be bigger and scarier. So I'm very on-edge after 'detecting' any anger in my environment, even when it's really small. And my brain tries to pull my down a rabbit hole of finding potential things I've 'done wrong' that might be making this person secretly angry at me. Even when I logically know it has nothing to do with me. My brain wants to find a potential reason it could involve me. I'm pretty good about not letting it go down that rabbit hole very far, but it sure tries - and I have to spend energy holding it back from going there.

None of this is news to me, at all. I sort of forget when I've made certain realizations in therapy, but I think I've known all of this about myself for at least a year? So I wasn't sure there could be anything productive to come out of sharing how someone was frustrated around me this week and it triggered me...and how I knew I was triggered, and talked to myself about how my brain was reacting the way it did when I was a kid, but how my current situation is safe. How someone else's anger isn't a threat to me anymore. How I've created a life for myself that is safe, even when people get angry. I can have tough conversations with those closest to me. I don't get very close with anyone I can't do that with. So I consciously recognized all of this, but it didn't get rid of the anxiety. I stayed frozen in a moderately anxious place, hyper vigilant, unable to focus, and so drained from all of this emotional energy being spent on basically, nothing productive.

I expected my therapist to remind me that I'm trying to literally rewire the pathways in my brain, and I have 30ish years of my brain going down the "anger is very unsafe, I must regulate others' emotions and people-please." pathway. And that was said. As well as some usual points about how some of this equates to expecting myself to be able to mind read, and given that I am not a superhero or someone with magical powers, that expectation is cuckoo for cocoa puffs. I know this, but the reminder is good. But some new things were said too.

They asked if, after detecting someone else's frustration recently, I was able to put a loved one in my own place. We've talked a lot about how it's easier for me to empathize with myself if I imagine someone I care about in my shoes. Would I tell a friend that they should 'fix' someone elses frustration? That if someone sighs in their home that they should become hyper-critical and over-analyze anything they could have possibly done 'wrong'? Of course, the ridiculousness of this is apparent to me when imagine someone else in my shoes. But I admitted to them that I hadn't been able to remember to try using that trick to change perspectives until after I had settled some. That when I'm first triggered, I kinda seem to lose access to that more logical side of my brain that would allow me to try to remember specific suggestions or tools that had been suggested to me. They said it makes sense to forget when you're that emotional, so sometimes visual reminders are good. Like wearing a bracelet with a compassionate statement on it or something. Honestly, that feels cheesy to me, I don't really care for wearing anything that has text of any kind on it, to be honest and growing up with no positive feedback/praise has left me with a strong aversion to positivity like that..which is something else to work on but, one thing at a time. Anyway - I do like the idea of some sort of symbol in my environment serving as a reminder even if it has no text on it. Something that I'd take as a reminder perhaps, without anyone else needing to have a clue what it's about. So it was nice to get a little bit of a fresh idea on something additional to try. But bigger than that...they helped me realize that I have continued my pattern of self-abuse, and just disguised it as trying to help myself.

Meaning...I see myself being triggered, I see myself starting to fall into old patterns of trauma responses to try to cope, and I know that reaction is maladaptive at this point in my life. So I try to stop myself from repeating that old pattern of trauma responses...and on occasion I can stop it in its tracks. But not often with this anger related trigger, it's a real powerful one for me. And when I'm not successful and I find myself becoming hypervigilent and self critical due to someone elses anger..I beat myself up about it! I beat myself up for beating myself up...because I'm 'supposed to' be working on being more compassionate. And that's still part of this cycle, it's just another layer of it. I beat myself up because keeping myself in a position of guilt/shame keeps me small so I can stay in this position of feeling like I am wrong and they are right and I am guilty and need to fix.

It's bonkers that even in my attempts to heal, my old self-harming mindset comes out disguised as a cure for.

In other words..

My logical brain "I need to stop beating myself up. That is a trauma pattern that used to serve me as a kid, but is just harmful to me now."

My trauma brain: "Right! We're hurting ourselves and that's dumb! Let's beat ourselves up about that! That's the solution!"

Fuck.

[fryday]

Hihi~ I am the “tell-all video” anon. First of all, thank you so much for answering my ask. I have been a lurker for quite some time now and really enjoy reading your elaborate answers on DnP so i finally decided to send in an ask! :)

Looking back, i now realize that was a very confusing question. As in a “tell-all” video, i meant more like a what was going on behind the scenes and what did the other person do that make it work sort of thing. Coz there were so many incidents that I am just so curious to know how the did they get through it you know what i mean? Especially after watching Dan’s more serious videos (eg. existential crisis, depression video, BIG, and WIQY) and Phil’s Draw My Life 2, we can clearly see that they have been through so freaking much together. With Dan’s depression, I always wonder how Phil was going through as well and how he handle the situation as he has never been vocal about what he was going through as well and his actual feelings. I also have a feeling that Dan spoils Phil rotten like a tutor princess now is because Phil has been so supportive, loving and accepting of him through out the years. Like we got a few teeny tiny glimpse of supportive Phil from time to time, but I want a 5 hours tell all video of them sappily talking about how supportive the other person was when they were going through all the challenges.

I think you sort of touched on it in your answer, and I agree 100% that it would be appreciated if they are willing to share more on serious topics as they are both very eloquent and intelligent. Or maybe something like the mukbang video when they are just chilling and chatting something more light hearted yet where they still be able share more of their thoughts and feelings.

hi, anon, thanks for coming back to clarify your previous ask!! i'm glad you enjoy reading my responses ❤️

totally get what you mean now, and you're right for being super interested in the idea of that video, even if we know we're probably never going to get it (which is within their right!). they've been through hell and back together, and yet remain maybe the healthiest example of a partnership i've ever seen on the internet. it's so admirable.

(this is a long one, so continued under the cut!)

re: phil supporting dan through his depression, i do think about dan whenever phil mentions something to do with the topic, like in the recent advice video phil did when he said something about how depression can make people messier than usual, and to be aware of / considerate about that. he is so learned on these things and i'm sure most of it is from experience.

you know, there is something in what you said about how dan spoils phil these days. he DOTES on him in a way i don't think i've ever seen him do before. (like he's always been very fond towards phil, but that's not the same as the way he like, wifes him these days and yes i made up a verb there because it felt necessary. do you know what i mean?) (disclaimer, i took a break from watching dnp for a hot minute from ~2017 to now basically, so there's lots i've missed, and maybe this was already a trend back in the day. idk! i'm just going off what i remember.)

the few glimpses we've gotten of supportive phil have been so special, but you're right, they're obviously just the tip of the iceberg, and even then they've completely destroyed us each time. it makes you think about how yes, we know they love each other, but we'll never know just how much, or the many many deeply important, difficult and meaningful ways that loved has been forged + toughened over the years.

i think a mukbang type setting is the only way i can conceive of them sharing things like this. a setting where they can relax, let their walls down and be vulnerable. the energy in the mukbang video was completely different from their usual, similar only maybe to the final google feud, but even that was more silly and jokey. mukbang vid was just - soft. open. giving. and they shared some things i didn't expect at all in it.

but at the end of the day, like you said in your first ask, the way they've barely shared anything important about their relationship really proves how genuine it is between them. like, this is their life. they live it for themselves and each other, and we're just lucky enough to get to see them sometimes. it's great

[synthizedarchive]

i'm not going to put this on the @solarisdog account as me and @scratchizm have already flooded the blog with our story enough. it's not about me, it's about other people that have suffered and come forward in order to share their awful experiences. but i'm just writing this anyway. maybe someone is checking my account. maybe it's just for me to vent.

it's clear that will never get an apology for what has happened to me. not for what matters. i don't care that i had racism, i don't care that i was accused of content theft and lore stealing, i don't care about having ''problematic faceclaims'. i care about what would actually be classed as a fucking crime. being labelled a stalker, abuser, and groomer. that i will be always be labelled the stalker and obsessed, which it's actually the reversal. that my partners will be forever labelled as ''DID real'' rather than actual tangible human-contact reality.

the amount of PTSD and trauma i have from them is unreal, and i wish i could put this into proper words of how this has affected me since 2021 ( i believe ). my partners can attest to the way my mental state was affected but only I know the feelings that have churned in my gut for all these years.

i'm the ''obsessed'' that comes from me seeing their blog two-three years ago in my FYP, and wanting to reconnect. that i'm so fucking traumatized by rejection sensitivity and ADHD problems or whatever ( and knowing even back then of the ghosting they do without any care or empathy ) , that i sent an anon saying i missed them. before we got into a extremely close friendship - but they say was a relationship. messenging solaris was the worst thing i have ever done in my entire life and i don't say that lightly. trying to reconnect and just be a fucking friend to someone whose content and lore i enjoyed?? the worst regret of my life.

i'm sitting here crying again over a person who is ten years younger than me. how sad and pathetic am i, honestly. solaris will never understand the feeling of what it is truly like to be stalked, obsessed over, manipulated, abused bc this is MY experience. not theirs. they are the stalker and obsessed, not me.

what is it about me that made me such an easy target to this planned level of orchestrated abuse? i just don't understand. it breaks me.

only a handful of people on this site, i can assume, will truly know what it feels like to have your every movement monitored. your every blog - that not even cheezbot has the chance to like posts on yet - thrown out to the wolves within seconds of making it. personal blogs attacked. even when i try to heal my trauma by creating a villain in my story called 'the stalker' ( which lasted all of 5 minutes before it made me feel sick again ), which was actually my wife's idea, i'm labelled as insane. this situation HAS made me lose my mind, on so many levels.

and i'll never get an apology for that. and it really hurts. other people get apologies so easy. whether they accept it or not is up to them. but where is my closure? maybe i'm selfish. but i know what i 100% am - and that is fucking broken by this whole experience.

myself, my loved ones, my friends, they know the truth but for me that will never be enough to actually having your abuser admit fault. no matter how much i tell the truth of my story, it will forever be twisted whilst i have this voice. and while it is a relief to have that voice be heard by others that have experienced similar issues, i will forever be tainted by a disgusting, vicious, abusive brush. all because i cared about someone. all because i wanted to be their friend. all because i said hell no to a relationship. i'm just so regretful to have ever met them, and i'm sure a lot of other people feel the same. hindsight is an amazing thing. if i had knew, i would have never even said hello to them.

[flock-talk]

Newt’s allergy to soybean has been theorized for a while but never confirmed, until today. He used to pluck really bad and we sorted out that pellets high in soybean seemed to trigger the plucking. At the time we also changed 100 other things to help alleviate the plucking so while soybean was a possibility we couldn’t say it was 100% the cause.

So from then on he’s been getting the only soybean free pellet (TOPs) and some caitec OFB which still has soybean but it’s lower on the list since there’s much debate on whether or not TOPs is nutritionally balanced. He hasn’t had any problems with those two.

Today I offered him some Harrison’s high potency pepper pellets as a treat (literally like 10 minuscule pellets that are Mia sized). Thinking the small dose would be fine, the flavour would be a good treat for him, etc. within 5 minutes of eating the pellets he broke out in to a massive sneezing fit. I’m talking back to back constant sneezes with no break in between.

I isolated him to the bird room, ramped up the humidity, heated up the room, and blasted the air filter on high. Minimal changes were happening until I realized what was triggering it (I initially thought it could have been environmental, an air pollutant, etc). The internet was completely unhelpful since looking for “parrot allergies” just shows the absolute basics or humans allergic to parrots. I ended up just thinking about what helps my allergies and offered him some cold cooked sweet potato to coat the throat and cool it to relieve inflammation and itchiness. He almost instantly stopped sneezing, about 10 minutes of offering him small bits of sweet potato to continually soothe the throat and it had completely subsided.

So hey if anyone else’s bird has a food-based allergic reaction - giving them cooked and refrigerated sweet potato seems to alleviate the symptoms.

[ansbobcar]

EP 6. Bloody Dress

WORD COUNT. 1221

Link to overview.

_ _ _

Madjinns are powerful magical creatures even for a top of the crop magic user. The sign of not one but many brought bad omen to the capital. In the past, a whole fleet of magic security officers was necessary to eradicate a singular one, the deaths of Divine Visionaries by their hands was rather common in comparison to other causes. 

Within minutes, they began a quick overview of the situation. There were about 6 of them in the distance. “There are no records on whether these beings were made up of blood but it’s fine if they aren’t,” she unravelled her bandaged wrists. Firmly, sand wrapped around them without notice.

“Can you sense if they have blood first?” Orter suggested to her. 

“I have to fly closer for that.”

“You had the fastest time for Girls’ Cross-Country for 5 consecutive years,” he reminded her. “If you can’t sense any: let’s regroup where Ryoh is. I’ll see if there’s any deserters in the meantime.” She hummed in agreement.

“Let’s also see who can defeat the most. Winner gets a favour from the loser,” and within the blink of an eye, she was but a blot of white against the green and blue.

_ _ _

The Blood Cane was no bloodhound. She could only sense bodies of blood at about 1000 metres away from all directions. The range of her personal magic was also about the same, possibly ranking her as one of the weakest Divine Visionaries currently in service. In terms of range.

Instinctually, she dodged a blast of magical energy, a plot of trees burned in her stead when she looked back.

Madjinns did in fact have blood in them, readying to cast that spell. This should be over in a jiffy, avoiding the continuous assault of these magical beings before she destroyed one’s existence. Dark pungent fluid cascaded down. With their own blood still freshly drawn, she caught their attention through puncturing their arms and heads, causing an outcry towards her.

“Good,” she muttered, concentrating on accelerating the broomstick even further away from the capital. The magical species followed her through, possibly not all but at least half the crowd. With a deep breath and wand in hand, she would continue to chant a singular spell.

“Sangs Rupture!”��

A lethal magic spell specific to Rinka Ontarin. One that will burst every bit of blood within the chosen target. If the target is living, they will die. It is by no means a painless death either, she flew up for a better view of the situation. ‘That’s 4 dead. Another 3 more…’ Diving back into their line of sight. And off with their lives.

“Finally,” she muttered, taking a breather. Her heart palpitated rigorously against her ribcage, as she gripped onto her broom tightly. If she wasn’t skilled at manoeuvring with a broom, she would’ve died ages ago. She should regroup now if she’s done, taking note of the sandy structures from the corner of her eye.

‘I wonder how he’s doing.’

But her break was cut short as a Madjinn much larger than the previous iterations crashed down it’s limbs infront of her with no presence. Followed by another devastating blast of magic which she narrowly avoided through sheer speed alone. But it was now outside of her range, she cursed to herself. “Must kill.” Just 100 metres to dash through and use the same spell again. Like clockwork. Like before. Like nothing. 

Alas, the gods who live in this world laugh at her curse. A maddened voice unburdenned with sanity spat at her. “I like your broom. I want it.” 

As if jinxing her of the broom’s element and aid, the creature turned to clear glass. Now standing afloat with a spell, she focused on locating the sneaky thing, it’s presence undetectable by normal means. Madjinns do not communicate in their language either so there must be something else collaborating in order to disguise both of them completely from her. If only she wasn’t limited to such a fluid, she could find them with ease. The moment she sensed blood, she immediately cast the rupture towards them. Blood tatters her white dress again, filling her senses with nauseating iron.

But she’s also bleeding, scrambling to continue it’s circulation. The air she stepped on touched her skin like papercuts. Untraceable until done. Her blood cleaned off at every expense from the source.

The bleeding won’t stop even if she forces it with magic. “You’re getting on my nerves,” she muttered, drawing out a thinly managed string from her open wound.

“I thought you’d be fun, Rinka Onoji!” They exclaimed, partially revealing its presence. “I’ve heard so much about you!” Her strike was thwacked with ease, as her chest tightened with a heave.

‘Not enough magical energy,’ she noted, adjusting the pressure for her next move. “It’s Rinka Ontarin,” she corrected.

“Would you recognise me if I showed myself?” 

“Unlikely,” catching playing cards in solidified blood. “Never met Madjinns before this.”

“I’m hurt but I’d like to see it for myself,” a human figure, with it’s torso slightly revealed, bore itself of its mystery towards the Divine Visionary. Violently, she took a step back, dread crumbled in place of her stoicness.

“There’s no face,” she muttered as it leaned forward towards her. 

His voice was amused by her reaction. “You really can’t see me can you?”

_ _ _ 

The Desert Cane assumes that his colleague has successfully neutralised the threats she was given. Just as he has. Ryoh and the others have now retreated as the holes he burrowed through them seized their lives whole. But where is she?

It’s not like herself to be inconsistent with a job. Deciding on a detour, he pivoted his broom away from the capital. “Maybe she passed out? A lot of them followed her after all,” he tried to reason himself of concern.

Orter Madl was allowed to be concerned, he had every right to be concerned for her, flying past multiple patches of burnt forest and debris. He looked all around but for a while, he was met with nothing that indicated her silhouette. She couldn’t have gone back either, he ruled out. She would’ve called him if anything. Yet she didn’t.

Halting in place a few metres away, his eyes widened at the scene. She was floating like a ghost, fluttering in place for a scare. The white sleeves of her dress were torn, replaced by the presence of wounds was the blonde with her eyes stuck in a daze. If it wasn’t for the way she seemed to heave deeply with her hand held to her head, the dullness of her skin against the sun’s gaze made her lifeless. Something else had happened.

Her broomstick was gone too.

Her eyes stared at his for a moment, the summer breeze gently whistled before she broke into a disheartened bright smile as she screamed at the top of her lungs. “There’s no more Madjinns on my side!” She stumbled out of her position.

Like an injured dove he once saved years ago, she gently landed in plush blanket of sand. Suspicious about her condition, he checked her wrists which were still bandaged and held no wounds unlike the rest of her body. A teleportation spell would be better.

_ _ _ _ _

Rinka when Orter sees her again:

Doodled her in Geography, oh shit I have homework dueee. SHIEEET—

Also, can you guess who the faceless person she encountered is? Cuz I badly want to explain how it works soon but haven't gotten the chance.

I really want there to be a sports festival/competition between the schools that isn't the Trimagicathlon.

[katarh-mest]

alcohol PSA for writers

If your characters are drinking alcohol, but you yourself have never had any alcohol, it can be very VERY obvious if you have them get drunk within the first few sips of a strong drink.

Continue below if you want some education from a professional lush.

Alcohol actually takes some time to absorb in the bloodstream and start impacting behavior. It's why it is such a dangerous drug, and SO easy to abuse.

At a minimum, most people take at least 10 minutes before they start to get it circulating through the blood stream. That's on an empty stomach. You might have other effects besides the ethanol poisoning - strong liquor can make someone cough if they're not expecting it - but the euphoria and lowered inhibitions don't kick in for quite a while if you are drinking lower ABV stuff.

Most liquor is not drunk straight. Exceptions are things like whiskey and fortified wines like cognac. Mix the drinks with something non alcoholic, usually cut with sugar. Your characters are not going to down straight vodka (unless it's Mao Mao... then she totally would.)

Beer, wine, and ciders range in ABV from 3% (weaker beers) to 15% (stronger wines) compared to liquors which start at 20% ABV for the most part. The whiskey I drink straight is 35% ABV... and I drink it very slowly, very carefully, about 10 drams at a time (roughly 1.5 oz or so.) That is, one "standard" drink.

Other standard drinks: One 5% beer (12 oz can or bottle), one 5 oz pour of 15% wine, and 1.5-2 oz of a liquor that is 35%-40% (80 proof), vs a 0.75-1 oz pour of a 150 proof liquor. Proof maxes out at 190 and that's Everclear, aka 95% pure ethanol. 100 proof is 50% alcohol and you'll find that in things like vodka, gin, and tequila. These DO have flavors! But the flavors are buried underneath the ethanol, and need to be thinned out to be tasted, so they're almost always cut with something else to make the alcohol not be unpalatable.

If I'm drinking, here's about the levels of alcohol and how they affect me (I'm a 44 year old woman that has fairly high tolerance. Use this guide as a metric for your characters who can handle their liquor. Move everyone down a level if they are "lightweights" or have never had alcohol at all.)

1 standard drink makes me happy and pleasant, fun and giggly. I can still think, I can still drive as long as I've had something to eat and waited 30-45 minutes, and I get some of my best house cleaning done in this state

2 standard drinks make me slightly buzzed and approaching unsafe to drive (I hand over my keys at this point to the DD). Still fun and giggly, but also starting to lose my inhibitions. More likely to break something while cleaning.

3 standard drinks start to impair my ability to speak with my normal levels of clarity and articulation. I am not yet slurring my words, but my brain's CPU is now overheating.

4 standard drinks takes me out of the happy space and starts to make me sick. Its no longer fun. I cannot stand up straight. This is binge drinking.

5 standard drinks is going to have me vomiting if I drunk them too fast. I've got high tolerance so if I ate food I'll be okay, but if I don't drink enough water, I'll be hung over the next day.

If I'm beyond this, I'm probably passed out someplace. All but once that 1 time has been at home (that time I woke up on the couch of the fraternity whose party I was at. I was okay. I was lucky. Thank you, Alpha Kappa Psi bros, for putting me on the couch and giving me a glass of water. You were the MVPs.)

Alcohol is a poison. It is a poison. It's a delicious poison, and humans have the ability to process it, but it's still something that will make you very sick or kill you if you go too fast.

BONUS: High tolerance, low tolerance, and a tendency to alcoholism are all somewhat genetic. Our bodies need two enzymes to process alcohol, and if one processes fast and the other processes slow, the result is that some people "handle their liquor" naturally well, and others are going to be "lightweights" no matter how much they practice. Some folks actually get 0 of the happy euphoria from alcohol and go straight into the poison symptoms (this is known as "Asian Flush Syndrome" but it can impact people from any part of the world.) These folks will get sick from a single "standard" drink - but they are unlikely to ever get drunk, because they'll get sick long before they drink enough alcohol to reach that point. They make some of the best DDs out there, though, so if you know someone who experiences it, make them your best friend, offer to buy their coca colas and bar snacks, and hand them the keys after you have had drink #2.

[anotheruserwithnoname]

Remembering the early days of the DW revival in North America

(You never saw this in the UK or US) (Source)

With the return of Russell T Davies upon us, there’s a lot of nostalgia for the early days of the Doctor Who revival, the years before ... well, name a controversy. Lots of hope in the fanbase that RTD will be able to bring back the feels of the early days (and not just among those who were too young to remember the heady days of 2005-2010). There’s also a lot of hand-wringing over the fact that outside the UK the series will be part of the Disney+ family. But non-UK networks have always influenced the show in a lot of ways. 

Not everything was good - I have some real negatives below - but here’s a quick list of memories of the early years of the revival, which began at a time the mainstream in North America was still very much of the mind of “Doctor who?” and dismissed it as a grainy old series that usually aired after Monty Python on PBS after midnight on Saturdays.

I remember:

* When we had to wait months between UK and Canadian broadcasts. Just imagine trying to avoid spoilers today!

* When the Sci-Fi Channel in the US allegedly rejected the show for quality reasons. So many American fans didn’t get to see the first series with Eccleston for about a year (or had to order the DVDs).

* When Series 1 did air in Canada, the CBC had Christopher Eccleston record intros, commercial bumpers and “final comments” that included a mixture of trivia and promos for a “visit the set of Series 2″ contest being done with the Canadian edition of TV Guide (ironic, I know). By the time Christmas Invasion aired, Chris had left so they had Billie Piper do the intros and bumpers for it. They dropped the gimmick for Series 2. Thanks to the TV Guide tie-in, Doctor Who also got its first-ever cover on the iconic magazine, albeit only in Canada.

* When most episodes of Series 1 ended on the CBC with short documentaries and interviews with the Canadian DW fan club; one of them I believe was responsible for spreading the notion that the 1996 TV movie was titled “The Enemy Within” (which was just a suggested title apparently).

* The difficulty in getting the Series 1 DVD sets in Canadian stores due to the “Doctor who?” factor. I recall I had to special order and it cost me close to $100 in 2005 or 2006 money. And at the time only one DVD retailer (back when they could be referred to in the plural sense) would touch it. Amazon wasn’t a thing yet.

* The CBC not airing the part of “World War III” that resolved the cliffhanger of “Aliens of London”. For the CBC that was their “dancing animated Graham Norton” moment.

* How the CBC, after the initial flurry of interest, seemingly forgot about the show (a charge made by the main Canadian DW fan club a few years later), resulting in Runaway Bride airing after Series 3 began, the main CBC never airing Voyage of the Damned at all (leaving the Series 3 cliffhanger unresolved), and airing a 42-minute edit of “Journey’s End” that was totally incomprehensible (and delaying the broadcast until after the DVD release of Season 4). Torchwood likewise was bounced around. Soon after, the CBC cancelled Doctor Who and Space Channel (now CTV Sci-Fi) picked it up, eventually airing Voyage of the Damned and moving to same-day broadcast with the UK. They also picked up Torchwood. (Sarah Jane Adventures only aired on the BBC Kids cable network and either was cancelled or the network folded so we mostly saw it on DVD only; K9 never aired here at all, but again was on DVD.)

* The CBC also never showed the Children in Need minisodes, so I believe we had to wait for DVDs before seeing the prequel to Christmas Invasion and the Time Crash crossover.

* The sea-change when Series 5 arrived; Sci-Fi (Syfy) in the US and Space were now airing it the same day as the UK, though for here they added a US-style prologue to the opening credits with Amy explaining the concept of Doctor Who.

* When Sci-Fi aired Let’s Kill Hitler in the US with a special animated mini-episode during the commercial break promoting a sponsor - something that would be absolutely unheard of on the BBC! (It used to be on Youtube but I can’t find it anymore.)

* The “good old days” when most of the “good stuff” (basically anything involving video or gaming) on the BBC’s main Doctor Who website was “geolocked” and inaccessible to North American visitors. Fortunately this didn’t include the minisodes created to promote Series 2, but people had to sail the high seas (or later turn to Youtube) to obtain stuff like the mini-episode Karen Gillan made as a tie-in with an Amy Pond game and some of the scripted stuff Sarah Jane Adventures had on its site, and the Captain Jack’s Monster Files webseries starring John Barrowman.

A lot of this is in the past - as far as I know there are no longer restrictions on BBC website content (or if there is, it ends up on Youtube in about 10 minutes anyway); same-day broadcast is the norm; it’s easy to get DW-related DVDs and Blu-rays (though it remains to be seen if we ever see anything from RTD 2.0 on permanent media here in North America with Disney+ in the picture); and the idea of Syfy or CTV Sci-Fi - or certainly Disney+ - taking a 75-minute episode and trimming 30 minutes out of it for broadcast as was done to Journey’s End is impossible to imagine. Sadly though, at least for now, the enthusiasm for the show where people did care that Let’s Kill Hitler had an extra scene for the US only, or that Billie and Chris recorded exclusive materal for the CBC ... it too is in the past. I hope RTD is able to restore it and prove you can go home again.

[foster-the-moths]

i would be so much more insane abt sarah if i could actually decide what shes like. shes like so many things at once to me. she loves fishing shes never held a fishingrod in her life she only does it when she gets dragged along she wants to fish but rarely gets the chance shes terrible at it she could win a state championship. she listens to mitski she listens to creedence clearwater she listens to adams emo music shes a lady gaga fan (affectionate) shes a swiftie (derogatory) she listens to the most ear-shattering heavy metal shes a classical music grandma. shes never touched a makeup palette in her life she spends $30 on makeup per week she only does eyeliner and sometimes lipstick she does the most insane gorey sfx makeup she does pretty aesthetic makeup and posts it to her myspace. she will start a riot if a police officer so much as looks at her but if she gets pickles on her mcdonalds burger shes too shy to go up to the counter to ask for no pickles. she breaks into police databases but she would cry if someone yelled at her but also she would yell at them back but also she would calmly but firmly stand her ground but also she would punch their lights out. shes level headed shes always 5 minutes away from breaking something she is so sad she is whimsical and joyous she is experiencing the horrors she is unhinged she is literally just normal she has every disease. shes a hacker she only knows how to say 'hello world' in javascript shes extremely tech savvy she accidentally installs 100 viruses onto every computer she comes into contact with she is a computer wizard and can fix any problem in 5 seconds shes like a horsegirl taming a scared wild computer and curing it of all viruses but also they immediately break and blue screen if shes within a 5 ft radius of them she cant even figure out how to open the web browser adam has to do it for her every single time. shes a horsegirl shes emo shes goth shes scenemo shes prep shes jock shes a total geek shes a starwars nerd she only reads sappy romance novels she read warrior cats. shes cis shes transmasc shes transfem shes both she doesnt have a gender shes a transmasc lesbian shes straight shes bi shes pan shes aroace shes unlabelled if u showed her the rainbow flag she wouldnt know what it means she doesnt know and doesnt care. i literally just cannot decide what she is like.

[fitgothgirl]

⬆️ Lovely sunset walk the other day, and the venue of a wedding I went to this past weekend

⬆️ My outfit for said wedding, and more pretty walk views. Not my favorite pic of me but didn’t get a better full body one and I loved my shoes 🥰🕸️🖤 (purchased them a while ago, hadn’t had a chance to wear them yet). The dress and belt were also new!

Hiiieeee I’m still alive. Been enjoying some time away from social media again. Most times I get the compulsion to click on tumblr or Reddit or something, I just click Solitaire or Wordscapes instead. And times when I have clicked on social media have been fairly short sessions before I remember why I stay away.

Of course I do always miss tumblr peeps... 🖤 That’s always the biggest downside of these breaks.

Went to the gym the day before yesterday for yet another “kicking out the cobwebs” session. Last workout was 4/2, and before that my last one was 3/22, etc... Bit of a pattern haha. But I’m already planning to get back today! I don’t want to keep doing this once-every-1-to-3-weeks thing. It’s better than nothing of course but I want to be doing at least twice a week... Ideally 3 times a week, but I’ll take fewer days first while just getting some friggin consistency down.

Therapy is going well, I wish I could see her more than every other week but it’s okay as it is for now. I’m still trying to get my official ADHD diagnosis and am in the process of switching psychiatrists at the service I use. But in the meantime my therapist sent me a couple links to sites for ADHD assessment that she’s pretty sure the psychiatrist will refer me to anyway (therapist and psychiatrist are from the same telehealth service). I tried one and it let me know it’d be a 60-90 minute process that I’d do on my own and then someone would reach out to me to schedule an appointment for me to talk to a doctor. The very first thing of this assessment was a page that just said “In your own words, please tell us more about why you are here, and your long term goals” and it had a blank area for me to type with no character limit... I was like ohhhohohooo wow... Where to begin... They’re going to get an essay from me. But it also just triggered some major overwhelm-shutdown too. The irony of it is great. I’ll need to get in the zone to tackle this, but it did warn me it’d be up to 90 minutes; we’ll see if I even stay within that lol.

Otherwise with therapy, I’ve been good about doing my “homework.” I keep a little post-it on my desk’s hutch near my monitor so I see a bullet point list of the key things for me to remember until the next appointment. Those are my priorities and anything else is just bonus. Some things don’t get done but that’s to be expected - she says if I always did 100% in everything then she’d ask if I was really being honest lmao. But no self-deprecation or guilt allowed!

Weather has been beautiful and I’ve been spending time outside, either in the backyard or going for walks. One thing my therapist brought up with me when I was talking about wanting to get 10,000 steps a day since it’s so good for so many things, was that it’s a little unrealistic to expect myself to suddenly do something every single day when I’m hardly ever doing it to begin with. My Fitbit makes me want to hit daily goals but what other habit changes would I expect to suddenly do daily? Most of the time we try to do new things once or twice a week or whatever. Kind of was like an aha moment for me and helped lessen the guilt of how much I struggle to get that done. So now my daily step goal is 5,000, which is still a little more than I’d get just sitting around all day, so that’s a good goal. And for 10,000 steps, for now I’m aiming to hit that once a week. I’ve dedicated Tuesdays for that. And if I get it more days than that, then great! And I’ve actually gotten 10,000 steps on 5 out of the last 10 days... 😳 Plus another day of 9,000. Funny how that works lol.

We had a slender salamander in our backyard 😭 Look at him legs do steppies!!!! 🥺🥺 Also peep my bf helping take off the thing stuck to him lol. We’re in a moderately dense suburb-ish area so we don’t get much besides some birds and the usual stuff. Wonder where he came from and where he went…

I could probably keep going, but I’ll end this essay here for now lol.

[rise-tmnt-fan]

Obviously this is tmnt based and well no one really needs to read this. I just got so happy I wanted to write about it because why not!

I kind of splurged recently!

I got two amazing books… because the reviews are amazing and one went on a tiny sale, while the other isn’t WAY too expensive.

Then I binged read them both…

Now I regret it because they are so good I want to experience them like I was reading it for the first time. 😭

What are the books you make ask.

Well they were the Last Ronin, and the ROTTMNT Complete adventure.

(Before anyone comes at me about how amazing IDW TMNT is I’ve heard and I want desperately to read the IDW books! But sadly I can’t allow myself to buy those books since they are 50 dollars a pop in my area. And I can’t convince myself that it is a good spend if I could buy at least 2 books for the price of ONE tmnt book. Which again, I’ve only seen the best reviews for them too!!! But based on how I was raised, and how tight money is right now I just can’t splurge on them much to my dismay. T-T)

Slight spoilers ahead like emotions that it triggered not legit spoilers of any book because- No. I’m not heartless. I want people to enjoy these books like I have!

And I do have to say, those who told me I would enjoy the last Ronin were NOT WRONG! Dude I consumed it within 30 minutes!! (I read faster than most, can read 200 paged books within 5 hours- if uninterrupted, and thanks to my adhd if I am enthralled in a book I will read it even faster.- Apparently this isn’t a universal occurrence my ma and my sib say they can’t read books fast even if they are enthralled in it.)

Like good golly I was taking breaks just to gush on the quality (both plot and the literal quality of the book) and the art style(s). Like good golly jeepers!!!! It’s too amazing and gosh did it brutally attack my heart better than some real books have recently!!! (Some fanfics have attacked the heart well though recently!! Even after the rereads.)

And Oh man! Rise I had some sad moments because of certain parts but mainly I was just happy to feel like I was watching the show again!! And some of the villains that are shown are legit (and relatable you know which ones I am taking about!). And again loved the art style and plot! Like good golly!!!

Totally worth the purchase!! Best self late birthday gift I’ve gotten myself in a while!! (And yes I do this only because I save a certain amount and when things I’ve been watching for a month go on sale I use that certain stash. If I use that stash I have told myself I won’t spend another cent on fun objects/books (mainly books because I am a nerd with 100 books I’ve bought -and recieved- in the last three years not including the ones I have safely boxed away from my last move) Imma say if you have your eyes on either books you should get them!

Because you should TREAT YO SELF!!

(Please feel free to gush on any book, series or even a fan comic, fanfiction anything tmnt in the comments! I’m in need of a good story to dig into after these two amazing books!!!)

[justarandomdegenerate]

Nelke and the Legendary Alchemists ~ateliers of the New World ~ Thoughts!

So! I just finished my 100% playthrough of Nelke! literally less than 5 minutes before i started typing out this post! So let's get started. So Nelke (I am not typing that full title out every time!!!) is a town building style JRPG following an original set of characters led by Nelke, an alchemist obsessed Noble lady out to look for a magic tree and prove herself to her father back home who sets all these time sensitive tasks for her that she must complete, or come back home. This style of time sensitive tasks will be very familiar to people who have played the older Atelier games, however the overall gameplay is otherwise very different. As Nelke, unlike every other Atelier protagonist, has 0 alchemy proficiency. She instead relies on other alchemists to get things done. Which brings us to the main pull this game had for me.

For some mysterious reason, and these alchemists from other worlds are teleporting to this seemingly random location!! So you'll see familiar characters from all atelier games up until Atelier Lydie & Suelle (Which is my favourite), including side characters, such as my favourite Corneria from the Mysterious games! I basically 90% bought and played this game just to have another game that has Sophie, Firis, Lydie and Suelle in it. Didn't really care for most other character simply because i don't know them, but that's on me, not this game. So i won't fault it for that. Basically the more Atelier games you've played, the more little enjoyable character interaction moments you'll find fun.

Okay now let's get into the actual gameplay shall we? So there are 10 main aspects to this game you need to keep track of. Town building, Synthesis, Sales, Production, Dispatch, Requests, Tasks, Visits, Research, and Investigation. Town building. The main part of this game. You need to build facilities for your alchemists to synthesise, your merchants to do sales, your workers to produce materials, and you can't just place at random either. It's good to have districts, as different things you can build have bonuses to specific things, and even specific types of sales. Plus everything needs to meet a road, so efficient usage of space is needed to actually place all the buildings you need. Synthesis. This one is straightforward. You have your alchemists synthesise things you need to sell, things you need for research, or things you need to construct better facilities. Makes sense that in an Atelier spin-off game that Alchemists are your most important and useful people. Alchemists can also perform any role, but only alchemists can do synthesis. Sales. Also pretty straightforward. You sell the things your alchemists make. There's also several categories of items. General, Grocery, Weapon, Boutique and Drug (Sounds weird and illicit. Guess it's an american translation. If it was translated her, it would be called a pharmacy) Now this can be a little annoying to manage, and certain building can only sell certain things, and if you don't have fairly balanced sales, you can lose support in the town. Production. So for this one, you build things like Flower patches, veggie gardens, orchards and ranches, all to produce materials every turn. Definitely don't ignore this one. If you just forget about it, you'll suddenly find yourself using, say, way too much vegetable oil for what you're trying to make, and your whole production>synthesis>sales line will quickly break down.

Dispatch. You can send your people to areas you have cleared in battle investigation, and gather materials each turn. this one is also super important for the same reason as production. You can dispatch at most 5 people to each area. Requests. These are mostly optional requests you get each turn that ask for things to be done within a specified time limit. Like.... "Product 20x of Y item in 4 turns" And you'll get a money reward, or sometimes you'll get a population boost from it. ALWAYS do those ones, as you will hit a point in the game where if you don't have at least 50,000 population, you just lose, and have to start over. Which happened to me. Keep on top of requests! Tasks. These are your main directions for the game. Time limited tasks that if you fail, it's instant game over. Visit. You can visit and chat to all your town members, which consist entirely of characters from the mainline Atelier game. There's a limited number of these you can do each day. Research. This is how you unlock more land to develop, required items for advanced synthesis, and even resolve random time limited disasters. Make sure you're checking the materials you need for things, as past a certain turn number, research locks. Investigation. This is how you unlock new areas for dispatch, or level up characters. It's super super basic turn based combat that is so easy that as long as you don't neglect levelling up, you can win every battle on auto.

So overall i thought this game was.... fine. If it wasn't for the fact that i was playing alongside my favourite characters from the Mysterious games, I probably would have given up, and if it wasn't so short, I probably would not have gone for the 100%. Speaking of. If you go for the 100%, it was super grindy. I beat the game in about..... 30 hours? and then the next 8.4 hours were grinding out the like, 10 achievements I had left.

I think if you're a fan of the Atelier games, and you like town building games, you'll probably have fun here. And that's my thoughts! Thanks if you read this far.