#but i wish to take a walk now
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ok i figured out how to put text under the image on desktop. doodles of characters i wish to attack on af that i have no energy to make fuller pieces of, will end up doodling more but this is my roster currently (ignore the transparent of one of my irls in the corner i forgot to hide it.)
#ns.tiff#doodlies in specific#characters are monte (mercifulmelo) -#danza (starafire) -#no way back (simcardiac) -#mango (murderyacht) -#murmur (azurebolts/mynarco) -#duo (techkraken/snatchductor) -#sergey (tatonslice) -#and that it :)#planning to add nightmeow (mutedeclipse) to the selection#but i wish to take a walk now#oc tag
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EDYN TIDESTRIDER, CHALLENGER OF THE UNDERSEA, RIVAL OF THE DEEP. WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF YOUR BROTHER WAS CHOSEN TO BE A WEAPON OF THE GODS? HOW WILL YOU UNDO WHAT THEY HAVE DONE TO HIM?
#jrwi fanart#jrwi show#jrwi riptide#edyn tidestrider#cw blood#EDYYYNNNN TTIDESTRIDERRR OHH HOW I LOVE HERRRR#THIS IS A PAGE FULLA REEAALLY OLD DOODLES AND REALLY REALLY OLD DOODELS AND NEW DOODLES. ENJOY.#ONLY CLEANED IT UP A BUNCH TTODAY AND IM ACTUALLY SO SO HAPPY W IT WEEEEE#WHAT WAS IT LIKE? DOWN IN THE UNDERSEA. TO VISIT YOUR BROTHER WHENEVER THE ADULTS WOULD LET YOU#A KID WHO DIDNT UNDERSTAND WHAT WAS GOING ON OR WHY HER BROTHER WAS BEING TAKEN AWAY OR WHY HE KEEPS GETTING HURT#OR WHY THE ADULTS JUST KEEP LETTING IT HAPPEN. ITS FOR THE BEST? FATE OF THE WORLD AND ALL THAT? HEY WHO THE FUCK IS IN CHARGE HERE#HOW DO WE STOP IT. HOW DO I STOP IT. THERES PEOPLE OUT THERE WORKING ON SOMETHING. ARITIFICIAL LEVIATHAN YOU SAY?#WE COULD BUILD A THING TO RIVAL THE GODS. WELL. SIGN ME UP. IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU#WHAT A FASCINATING THING SHE ACTUALLY SAID. 'IM GOING TO UNDO WHAT THEY DID TO YOU' HELLO?? EDYN? WHAT DOES THAT MEAN#WHAT EXACTLY DID THEY DO TO HIM. OTHER THAN THE PROPHECY TRAINING. YOU CAN UNDO THAT? YOU CAN UNDO ALL THAT? HOW?? HELLO???#LIKE SURE I JUST SPOUTED MY THEORIES I THINK SHE WANTS TO KILL GOD BUT THATS JUSTA THEORY... A GA#WHAT IS EDYNS GOAL AND WHY CANT SHE TELL ANYONE OOUUUHHH EDYNNNN CMERE EDYNN CMERRE STOP WALKING AWAY CMERE. COME HERE.#fuuuuuck shes so mysteriousss what is she HIDING!!shes also so so so so angry i fucken know she is. shes so gentle and so sweet and timid#but she is ANGRY and shes SMART and clearly shes AMBITIOUS bc shes TALKING TO THE FUCKING BIG HEAD HONCHO O THE FUCKEN NNAAAVYYYYY#ALSO WHO IS NICHOLAS. IF THATS EVEN HIS REAL NAME. WHO DID YYYOU MEET EDYN. DO YOU HAVE A WISH TO BE GRANTED EDYN???#CHEWING ON THE BARS O MY CELL I NNNNEEEEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EDYN IM SO CURIOUS IMG ONNA KILL PEOPLE#i said once in another post 'the oath an eldest sister takes on is on par w that of a paladins-#-and sometimes upheld w the very same ferocity'. I REALLY LIKED THAT LINE.#pleeese... if u can hear me.. pls join me and draw edyn w unbridled plasmatic rage abt the way her brother was treated by the Elders#also pls draw her SCARY. I NEED HER TO BE SSCARY. PLEEASEE I NEED HER TO BE JUST AS VIOLENT AS GILLION BUT INA ICE COLD WAY#JUST AS VIOLENT JUST AS STRONG JUST AS MUCH OF AN AQUATIC MONSTER. im sure u see the vision.#ok i gotta go t bed now i got work in tha morning n i should nnot be stayin up this late. if u hav thoughts abt edyn pls scream abt em#okay byyyyeee goodniiigihhttttt
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looking over the shots of the murder hut/the early mystery shack and noticing details like the unibear being in gift shop from the start and stan rolling out the bill carpet and later putting bill in the mystery shack sign himself
the wires/machinery/door not being changed yet but it seems like the vending machine was there since early on
#also 30 years later and the price only increased by 5 bucks#bless the no cops sign#mullet stan is going through it#gravity falls#stanley pines#stan pines#mystery shack#stan eventually having to put up the employees only sign cos these yahoos keep walking into his living room#while normally i'd be acting like a feral dog over bill being in the mystery shack sign#i also know that bill wasn't decided on as the main villain until super late#oh meta knowledge spoiling my fun....#the carpet being on purpose tho cos its not in the storage room in the scene before#anyway now im just thinking about ford taking a crowbar to the sign soon after returning#i really wish there was an ep of ford reacting to the shack.... the moments in the journal isnt enough....#altho now im imagining that epilogue ep and tourists just arriving as usual cos time was stopped outside of town#and instead they find the place falling apart one confused old man and another one about to have a breakdown
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Guys that go bump in the night
(minorly inspired by @karniss-bg3 's response to this ask)
#bg3#astarion#rhylolin/lobo (oc)#kar'niss#drider#baldurs gate 3#driftoodles#alternative titles thst were suggested have been: the monster mash; two charlatan party crashers and their plus one#a drider a lycanthrope and a vampire walk into a bar#etc etc etc i could keep going#i imagine this would be a post bg3 plot thing . dunno what trouble theyre getting into but#whatever theyre up to someones probably gonna have to bail them out. my moneys on gale#with how ive been sketching kar'niss ive been drawing him more emaciated during bg3 bc i noticed his abdomen wrinkles at the bottom which#is a trait of dehydration in arachnids. hes probs not eating very well in moonrise lmao. but i imagine lobo heres been taking p good care#of him. also i think karniss still isnt used to being complimented so every time anyone says he looks nice he throws a fit about it#arachnophobia#but yeah so i try to draw him with rounder n softer features if im drawing him doing smthn post bg3#anywayyys i have a big day tomorrow i wish i had more energy to put smthn neater out but. for now. woe drider#i actually planned on replying to the og ask with more refined doodles but i may do thst later shdkdnkd
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i suppose i should do a little check in... i managed to finish ch3 of blood choke for nanowrimo (yay) but i'm still not where i want to be with tnp (boo)
it's been slow going... in general after the blood choke update my motivation kinda dropped more than i was expecting, which was foolish given the time of year. holidays are always a pain since i work retail....
anyways all that to say that i'm currently working on tnp. blood choke has shifted to the backburner - i'm still working on that, too, but my main focus now is to finish the ch2 blackwater route for tnp. i've also relegated my other projects to backburner as well. i really want to finish this damn tnp chapter before anything else at this point lmfao
i'm also going to be hosting a jam (which i'll announce tomorrow) along with some of my pals that will be through jan-feb, and i have a short game planned for that which i don't think will take up too much of my time.
thanks everyone for your patience and for sticking around as always 💗 i know it's been a long time and i appreciate the support you all still show me for this story.
#wanted to post this now bc i'll probably be scarce after tomorrow bc of work thru the new year#i wish i could say update soon but im not gonna do that to u all LOL#tnp is beating my ass rn#but i AM making progress. very slow very painful progress#i don't want to force it too much because thats just not fair to the game or to you all or to myself#im taking her for walks and giving her treats. we are bonding again slowly but surely#OH also i'll post those other snippets w noel and clem later this month too for u all#personal
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everybody stay with me im shifting back into speculation & analyzing mode, this time about everybody's favorite pair of besties. ill put this under the cut for everyone's sakes
and please, take all of this with a Hefty grain of salt.
so ive been... thinking about a thing. a maybe-possibility. which if this has some merit, the part of me that loves characters having a good time and feeling good feels is screaming in fear. but the louder part of me that loves angst and hurting characters is rubbing its little fly hands together.
short version: i think Barnaby is going to emotionally distance from Wally, if not outright grow to resent him. maybe temporarily, maybe not.
full version: *cracks knuckles* strap in folks. so.
first of all, an entire chunk of Barnaby's bio is dedicated to his character relation to Wally. everyone else only has one-off lines dedicated to their relationships to other neighbors - even Frank & Julie just have single sentences about each other (note that they're described as "partnered with" and "depicted with" respectively. more on that soon). even Wally's bio has his Barnaby mention tacked onto the end of his first paragraph instead of being its own dedicated section
and then there's their character designs - their bios explicitly point out that they share characteristics; color schemes, hearts on their soles, similar outfits.
they were made to be best friends. literally. this quote is what made me start turning this theory over in my mind (sourced from @ /theneighborhoodwatch's collected & absolutely fascinating livestream trivia)
it appears that Barnaby literally did not have a say in whether or not he and Wally are friends. their bios even say "illustrated pages note that they were best friends multiple times." they have to be best friends.
which brings us back to Frank & Julie. they briefly reference each other in their bios, but they aren't described as best friends. it's incredibly likely that they were meant to be a romantic couple - i briefly covered that theory in this post (dont read the first one i was going insane) but they managed to avoid that. Frank and Julie defied the script and chose to be best friends instead.
and then in the trivia document a few more character relationships are briefly touched on, like how Howdy considers Barnaby a close friend, and Sally considers either Barnaby or Poppy as her closest friend, etc.
everyone else seems to be choosing who they're close with. they're forming their own opinions and dynamics and relationships. & its interesting that Barnaby is stated for both of these - as if implying that he may return the friendship feelings, or at the very least he's developed enough of a relationship with them to earn their affection
Barnaby and Wally... i doubt they ever got that. they were best friends from the start, no development, no choice. it's written into them.
and then there's how their relationship has been portrayed so far. i believe i saw an ask where Clown stated that Barnaby is very polite to Wally, which struck me as odd. have you ever had a polite relationship to your best friend? have you ever seen best friends be polite? i'd be surprised!
best friends mess with each other! they tease and rib and roast! what is a best friend for if not mutual tomfuckery?! jesting around? playfully pushing boundaries? a Polite best friendship... that's a straight up oxymoron. no such thing. that sounds boring and exhausting.
not only that, but the fact that Barnaby is often used for Wally's painting segments, and is the go-to guy for teaching Wally something new, is kind of concerning. it gives me the vibe that a big part of Barnaby's literal reason for existing is to be Wally's friend & guide.
which would make the fact of him being described as polite to Wally make sense. of course he's not going to push their relationship or try to deepen it - he's forming his own dynamics with the other neighbors. with Wally... it's already established. that is how they are with each other. that is what they are to each other.
and it's not like Wally can be the one to introduce nuances. i don't mean that as a slight or anything - he's just the way he's been described and the things stated about him that make me think that he wouldn't really... know how to? it just wouldn't occur to him. he probably thinks his and Barnaby's relationship is what a best friendship is and is how it should be.
but they have to hang out. they have to refer to each other as best friends. and while i believe that Wally does wholeheartedly think that they're best friends, close as can be... i doubt Barnaby feels the same. like - yes, he probably does care about Wally. everybody likes Wally.
but it's gotta be frustrating for Barnaby, especially as time goes on and he becomes more himself as a person over just being a character playing a part. it probably stunts his relationship growth with others, since his ~best friend spot~ is already taken and who would want to encroach on that? especially since its taken by Wally mcfuckin Darling?
their friendship might become less of a role and more of a responsibility. Barnaby might grow to feel obligated to stick with Wally as his "best friend". someone invites Barnaby to hang out and/or help with something? sorry, he has to pose for Wally's painting. Barnaby is trying to do his own thing? sorry, Wally is knocking on the door and asking for help with something.
i wonder if Barnaby ever hopes that Wally will go to someone else, or feels relief when he does. and then does he feel irritation/guilt over that denied hope or that granted relief? then does he get angry at himself for those emotions?
how would this effect how he treats Wally and acts around him? this confusing muddle of emotions and this strange growing resentment for his painfully earnest friend who only ever means well, if he means at all.
it makes me curious whether or not this theory has merit. and how this could come to a head. what would Barnaby, in this situation, do if/when he discovers that they're puppets on a set, and he's literally written to be Wally's bestie while everyone else changed their scripts and chose their own relationships.
personally, i don't think he'd be happy, and i doubt he'd handle it well.
#holy Shit this was tough to translate from my brain#i literally wrote it all out in my head while in the shower#and then i went to get it down on 'paper' and it was Tangled To Hell And Back#*taking a break from art*#brain: soooooo we're bored now. lets overthink and share these thinkings#welcome home theory#welcome home speculation#SERIOUSLY THOUGH IM SCARED FOR BARNABY AND WALLY#mainly for wally bc Ouch it would hurt him to have their relationship sour#barnaby getting resentful and wally not understanding why his best friend is acting differently towards him#and PLEASE keep in mind that im mostly talking outta my ass here#but like.... ugh#barnaby looking at wally walking over one day and feeling the urge to turn away or groan in irritation/exasperation#him posing for a painting and wishing he were anywhere else.#him wanting to be closer with other puppets but unable to bring himself to try bc of the Guilt#everywhere he turns hes called 'wallys best friend' and asked 'wheres wally? hes usually with you' when hes alone#and hearing 'if you want to find wally/barnaby go look for barnaby/wally. if you see one the other isnt far away'#that has GOT to get on his nerves over time#this constant stagnation of their relationship while everyone else is evolving and growing. hes Stuck.#even julie & frank who were written to be together find a way to circumvent that and add so much depth and uniqueness to their relationship#if you want a happy side of this. it could lead to barnaby & wally being really truly besties#barnaby could have an arc about thinking 'holy shit it was all fabricated. Fuck that and Fuck you[wally]'#and then going 'holy shit i Do actually love and care about him[wally] and i want us to develop a real meaningful friendship'#BUT WHO KNOWS who knows not me!#also it must be tiring to constantly have to explain his jokes and so many other things#bc wally Is a curious guy! he wants to learn!#but maybe barnaby just wants to have an uninterrupted conversation but he Cant bc wallys just built different#not said as a bad thing At All.#just... people are complicated. sometimes we have mean thoughts/emotions that conflict with what we really think/feel and our morals#we're only human. everyone is mean sometimes if only in our heads.& yeah theyre technically Puppets but lets not get caught up on semantics
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Lol
#theres nothing quite like your mother saying Well maybe you shouldve been more careful because now your boss might think youve been flirting#with this male coworker (whom i like splendidly as a friend) and now maybe she thinks youre not trustworthy#and maybe she regrets hiring you because you said you feel like youre making a lot of mistakes this week and she might assume thats because#your head is filled with this boy.#so dont make her regret hiring you.#MA'AM I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY ANXIOUS BECAUSE I MADE SO MANY MISTAKES TODAY WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME ASHAMED#OF SOMETHING THAT I HONESTLY HAD NO CLUE I OUGHT TO BE ANXIOUS ABOUT AT MY FIRST NEW JOB AFTER IVE GRADUATED????#anyway going to bed i cant take this anymore LOL she said it so lightly and im like. well i never even considered#being afraid of making my boss regret hiring me somehow because of some kind of behaviour that i had no idea was sending some kind of signal#anywaysssss 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭#and then she was like why are you crying?? 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀💀#not to be like this is partly why i didnt want to move home but confound it all why are things like this#can i not simply confide in my mother my anxieties and worriws#worries#and not also have to worry about her potentially being like Well have you considered you ARE right and it IS your fault?#idk man something something firstborn child eldest daughter can i have some room to breathe. please#also not to whine but Not my father walking in on me eating dinner at 10pm because i was holed up#in my room in a semi depressive state after so many gong shows in a work day and straight up having no appetite#but deciding my body needs the food anyway its better late than never.....walking in and then saying#you know if you eat this late you'll gain weight. SIR??????????????????#sorry to complain and rant again i simply cannot in this house and whats more am doing my best to honour my parents#but why is it so hard out here and how can they say stuff like that with a smile!!!!!!!#also i DO have an inner critic who is always like Its your fault you are the worst you should be ashamed always........why do my parents#not understand after knowing me for so long and watching me grow up#that i can make myself so ashamed of the smallest thing so easily and that what they say drives me to shame almost as easily?#ANYWAY LOL WHAT A DAY#you guys!!! i am working so hard i promise i PROMISE I am!!! it is my first full time job ever and i am working so so hard#i am doing my absolute best and no one sees it and that is FINE i just wish my parents would see that i AM trying!!#i come back home so dead every single day because i put in 120%! this is literally my first job after graduation#and my parents KNOW this has been the most exhausting taxing and soul crushing year ive had in my very short life so far
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casting two south asian actors to play the royals of ARABASTA is plain and simple MENA erasure btw. just saying
#i already got mad when it was leaked that charithra was going to play vivi months ago#but i (almost) made peace with that bc charithra is a good actress and a good person and i held out hope that she was an exception#hoping that kobra and pell and shaka and koza etc would all be casted as mena#its now obvious that this isnt the case.#ofc koza and the others are still very up to debate#but casting non-arabs for the most important figures of arabasta... thats just racist i think.#disappointing. saddening. infuriating#i wished opla would be different#oh yeah and before someone comes here with the 'its bc theyre related!!' bullshit#look at luffy and garps castings. now go take a walk#'arabasta is based off of india as well!!' go reread arabasta#im tired of this#fool rants#opla#one piece live action
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thinking about frank and sex (in a sad way)
#marvel#frank castle#the punisher#not as in about sex with him but like how hes portrayed in relation to it in the comics if that makes sense#hes just always so deeply uninterested not just in the women but the act itself too like#so many times hes like. not pressured thats the wrong word but like i can think of at least two times i saw#where the women just kinda. walk themselves into his bed. and hes like 'eh idk about this' but then just kinda does it anyway#like i imagine the writers intended for this to be like a cool guy thing yk like ah he gets so much action and he DOESNT CARE cuz hes COOL#but ME personally i cant help but read it like. god idk i dont want to say him letting himself get used and using them in turn#theres this expression 'going through the motions' that kind of feels right here but idk how to explain it#hes just so weird about it. every time. in my mind i cant imagine him ever really wanting it very much#like maybe to feel good sometimes but its never. idk am i making sense am i just saying shit#is he gay asexual missing his dead wife or just so so fucking traumatized and dead on the inside that his body is just an object now#so many fun ways to interpret this#<guy who is not having fun interpreting this#wish i could just project my thoughts into your heads so youd see exactly what i mean cuz i dont feel im verbalizing this well enough#god take a shot every time i say 'like' or 'just'. youll be off your face from this post only#i may be making shit up tbh idk the thought struck me out of nowhere while i was looking at the ceiling
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Whoops, I forgot to share the Dungeon Meshi merch I got in Tokyo last month. Which wasn't much tbh. Since I was with family, I couldn't be like "Hey, let's go into this anime store spanning 8 floors!" And the sole time I visited Akihabara, the only shop still open was Don Quijote…However! I went to the Tsutaya in Shibuya, the one that re-opened recently across from the station. And at the very top, they had a small pop-up of Dungeon Meshi merch.
I bought a badge and what I assumed was an acrylic stand, but it's more like a big keychain? I was planning to go back to get something for a friend, and maybe the towel, but I ran out of time… Also, apparently they were giving away postcards if you spent 2,000 yen too? I didn't know that! I would have spent more otherwise 😔
I also found a couple of Dungeon Meshi gachapon machines in Magnet, the mall across from Tsutaya. The only ones I saw, in fact. Not that I checked every capsule centre I came across…
I wish I could have obtained all the mushroom ones, but the machine had maybe 2 capsules left, and I was out of coins. However, I did manage to get Senshi too. He's already attached to my backpack 😊
#dungeon meshi#delicious in dungeon#dunmeshi#senshi#marcille donato#walking mushroom#laois touden#chilchuck#tsutaya#i have so many keychains attached to my backpack. or rather attached to one keychain attached to my backpack...#this was like 3 weeks ago now. so i have no idea if the tsutaya stuff is still being sold...#really wish i went back! it was just my sister leaving a day earlier than the rest of us#and she wanted to spend some time around asakusa where we were staying before heading back to harajuku (which is close to shibuya)#then she faffed around too long and ended up abandoning her plans to finish packing#so i ended up going to the skytree instead since it was closer and we still had to have dinner before she left#after that it was like it takes half an hour to get to shibuya. half an hour to get back. and i was so tired...#hmm...
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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I always get detained at da border because PROFUNC never ended but basically I'm like if a targeted individual didn't even care
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^ Most fucked up movie lines
#posting my image so that i can complain to myself in vague terms . Talking about food if you dont wanna see that#also vague allusions to ed dont read my complaining tags if that will trigger you#but i hate having migraines and my fibromyalgia is so bad that it makes it si hard to get up and out of bed and like even if i manage to It#Like. ill give up and just go back to bed because with my migraines the nausea makes everything unappealing . so i'm only eating if i order#something or if my nana brings something home Or way later than i should and it sucks . And I'm out of money and i hate taking it from#other people more than anything else. i wish like everything was walkable like it is back home because then i could just drag myself to#walk a few blocks to the store or something. But i cant do that here so i'm just stuck . And then there is the disorder . Ok that's all . i#hate complaining about this directly to other people but i have to get my Everything out somewhere just to get it off of my mind.#ots just AUGHHHH!!!! SO FRUSTRATING. I hate Being alone in my room and i cant even ask my mommy if she'd get me something. haha 🤣 . Ok#im done now .#basically they should find a way to make food free when youre only comfortable eating One thing .#meowing
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#i found this little bee on the walkway :((#they were on the ground like in the middle of a busy place ppl walk and bike#almost all bees i find are already dead but i always move them to the grass anyway#bc it feels so wrong and unholy that a bee corpse is just continiously walked on until it gets mashed into the gravel#but this one was alive so i managed to nudge them up on my hand#and at first they tried to hurry away from me but when they noticed i wasnt doing anything they calmed down#i just like dont know... i couldnt rmbr anything abt which flowers have the right pollen.. nutrients.. that bees need#i do know that they mainly need wild flowers but they barely exist...#i took them to a flower and nudged them onto it but they didnt like that one#and immediately wanted back up on my finger#i walked around a bit and found flowers were another be was already taking a nap on#so i tried putting my bee down on one of those#i hope they could find smth in the flower :(( and omg i wish i had brought my water with me#bc what i rmbr from one insta video i saw recently was that bees walking around on the ground are dehydrated#i hope i gave them a chance putting them on the flower#if i had left them they would've only been trampled :((((#i got so attached to them bc they didnt wanna leave my hand and i had to really coax them onto the flower :(((#i miss them :((( i just hope they're ok now#and if not at least they could die in peace on top of a flower instead of being trampled by filthy humans#photo diary ᯓᡣ𐭩#i think i shouldve put them on the flower necxt to it??? it looks like it has more stuff on it?#idk i just tried to put them on different flowers but this was the only flower they wanted to stay on :/// poor bee
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#random personal stuff#coworker walks past my desk says something in passing#I don't hear it immediately because I have earbuds in to drown out the noise from other coworker#by the time I take them out and realize I was wished a happy Flag Day?#he had already gone to other coworker's desk#and I heard 'YOU AND I are the ONLY ones...'#and the earbuds went back in#I'm sure I'm probably an ignorant un American whatever-label-they-want-to-slap-on-me for not replying but I didn't hear in time!#(and I wish people would take notice of the wired earbuds before trying to talk to me)#anyway I'm trying to ignore things but the cliqueishness of these two does bother me#it seems worse now that we don't have a library director#do we really care about Flag Day or are we just trying to flaunt a worldview
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gunna be real my mother in law crossed some lines today that i dont even know how to come back from. how do i make 10k in the next 6 months to pack up and leave actually though.
#i wish we could just. go straight to portugal. or wherever my husband wants us to go i guess.#im so sick of living with her. she really convinced me shed changed but that wasnt fucking true!#and now were in a situation where shes taking 450 of the 470 we make every week and saying WE are financially abusing HER#and that SHE is cutting US off at the end of our lease and leaving#and its like. so#its so#i cant even put into words how stupid that is#she is the most insufferably cruel and pointless person ive ever known and shes gunna take nearly every penny we make and then say that??#she said it on the way home from ME BUYING ALL OF OUR GROCERIES. she staid in the CAR she didnt even have to WALK AROUND#my husband gave her his ENTIRE paycheck yesterday. YESTERDAY#oh im so fucking#like what do we do when she leaves if we have 20 dollars between 2 grown adults a week. what are we supposed to do with that#theres no way we can make a down payment on anywhere or move our stuff or like. idk. fucking eat#mind you she is making 90k a year. like. i just want to tack that little bit of context on.#stupid shithead nightmare woman im so over this. im so OVER being so broke and so tired and dealing with how mean she is every single day#I WANT OUT BUT THERES NOWHERE TO GOOOOOOO
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