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lightwing-s · 9 months ago

Text

𝐁𝐀𝐁𝐘 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐏𝐒

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐢𝐯 ; 𝐭𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐬

pairing: jason todd x fem! reader

summary: you're pregnant. somehow, your baby daddy has to find out about it.

word count: 5,6k warnings: pregnancy, mentions of abortion.

a/n: i wrote and rewrote this a lot, and I don't think this is the best I could come up with, but here it is. a lot more angst that previous episodes and I do recommend reading it while listening to The Flame by Valerie Deniz and also Give me Love by Ed Sheeran because I love how emotional that song usually makes me feel. Hope you all enjoy it ♡♡♡

reblogs and interactions are always appreciated ! ♡

links: previous ; next ; series masterlist ; general masterlist

With a deep sigh, you tried to settle down your nerves. Your hands were sore. Sweaty. Tired of trying. The heaviness still lingered on your chest. The feeling of incoming doom. The air all around was thicker than you’d remembered it for, nearly making it impossible for you to breathe. And you swore to your reflection in the mirror, you were gonna make it through.

It had been three nights since the result. Two days of pain. And one single thought looming in your mind. Pregnant. You’re pregnant. You didn’t know what to do, nor what to think. Sinking into a pit of terror and despair. The idea frightened you, tore you apart. And just thinking of your future, of what was to come from now on, made your head spin.

Today, you forced yourself to forget. Pretend your life was normal, like it used to be. Not Much had changed since you had taken the test three days ago, but to you it felt like everything was different.

You had skipped the gym the last couple of days, the first time doing it since you could remember, scared to face anybody and them finding out, but also too anxiety stricken to even leave your bed. You felt cramps, but also your stomach turning. You felt nauseous, but you weren’t sure if it was due to your newfound condition, or if it was the anxiety acting out.

Nessie had called, and you gave her some excuse that your boss needed you elsewhere. Another city. A quick work trip, you’d be back soon. At work, you told them you had caught some contagious disease you found on google, and they let you off for the entire week. Thankful for a relatively full pantry, you survived for two days on your own, but you sure couldn’t manage to eat much anyway.

You’ve never lived worst days. You were sure of that. Fear fills you to the brim. Sadness eats you up from the inside. And because of that, you felt even worse. There are so many people who dreamed of being where you were now, of getting a positive. So many have struggled for this. And here you were, ungrateful for yours. But you never wanted it in the first place. Not now, not like this. It didn’t follow your plan. It wasn’t perfect.

It wasn’t long ago that you were graduating college. And as of this moment, you were a mere assistant, not even a proper writer or a journalist yet like you’ve dreamed since you were little. An assistant. The bottom of the food chain, with still a lot to grow and harvest in your career. You neither had the finances, the stability, nor the time and mental capacity to be raising a baby on your own.

Because you would be raising it on your own, wouldn’t you? Your baby daddy would just disappear, like many others you’ve heard about. He would pack his things and disappear. He would live his life, continue with being young, having fun, while you were left to fend for yourself and your kid. All alone.

Would you even tell him? Should you even tell him?

Three nights. Three nights of torture. Of overthinking the future and sulking in your bed, your pillow drenched with your tears. You knew you’d go crazy if you kept that going for too long. So, finding some bit of courage, some tiny little ounce of determination, you left your bed that morning ready to forget. Ready to clear your mind, to make it think straight. And then, you wished, you would know what to do.

You showered, ate, did your skincare and put on makeup, and went for a walk around the park. But you just had to step out of your apartment to find someone who made you think instantly of him. Running back inside and leaving your raven haired neighbor staring confused at you, you made a beeline to the bathroom, dropping your entire breakfast in the toilet.

You had to tell him, hadn’t you? You had to tell Jason. It was the right thing to do, right?

So, here you were. Back at the gym you’d quit a month ago in favor of another. All because of your last encounter. You thought it was the best to be done, remove him entirely from your life so you could be free again. If only you had known then where you’d be a month later, you’d have laughed at the irony the world was throwing at you. You still remembered the times he’d come, praying he didn’t have them changed for some reason. Maybe he wanted to avoid you too. Maybe he had quit. Please, God. Be on my side, only for today.

It had been, perhaps, a full hour since you arrived. Roy had greeted you with a large smile, asking if you were back for good. You couldn’t match his enthusiasm, offering him a poor excuse of your own smile instead. All this time, you couldn’t complete a full set, never mind finish an entire exercise. Your body trembled, not answering you. Too exhausted. The heaviness on your chest helped in weighing you down and making every effort insufficient.

The weights you had tried to use now stood on your feet. Crooked, disordered, unorganized. Then, you found yourself looking at your reflection in the mirror. Your eyes were red and swollen. Your lips were dry and exposed some nervous bite marks you’d been taking off them. There were a few pimples on your forehead, and you had bags under your eyes. In the corner of the mirror, too stood the reflection of the one you’d been looking for.

He chatted with another man. It wasn’t Roy, by the darker hair color and shorter size. Yet it was a face you recognized, but failed to name. Jason looked happy, smiling as he spoke excitedly about something you did not know about. Were you really ready to tell him? Were you okay with ceasing his happiness?

Your eyes lingered on him for longer, and eventually, his eyes found yours. His smile was quickly replaced by a frown. An air of disgust and anger. His tongue poked his cheek, and he rolled his eyes at you. Turning around, he decided that facing the other direction was much better than facing you. Now, his broad back was all you were left to stare at.

You felt the nausea return. Leaving your things behind, you rushed to the restroom. He hated you. He hated you and he was fucking right for it. And what were you thinking? Telling him he was going to be a father, to your baby above all, at the fucking gym?

After dumping your stomach in the toilet once more, you wanted to get out of there. Collecting your things and shoving them inside your bag, you headed out. However, in good old fashion, you felt a body stop as it came in contact with someone else’s. You didn’t have to look up to know who it was. Eyeing you from above, Jason started to apologize before he could recognize who you were, proceeding to roll his eyes again. You excused yourself, still looking away from him, and his demeanor changed from anger to worry.

“Yn, are you alright?” he inquired, reaching for your arm. You felt your eyes start to burn, the tears finding their way back, and the nausea only got worse. Running past him, all you managed to say was a quick “I’m fine,” before disappearing.

You arrived at his building straight away, using the faint memory of the directions that remained in your brain from the night he brought you here. You were still clad in your gym clothes, not caring to stop at home first, nor remembering to actually do it. But it was fine, because you didn’t sweat anyways. You couldn’t even finish one full exercise in the hour or so you were there.

So you waited. You waited on the opposite sidewalk, thinking back to the first time you came here. It was almost two months ago, or maybe more, you don’t remember exactly. It seemed longer, though. It all seemed longer. Longer than two months. Longer than three days. It all seemed like an eternity.

The sun waved goodbye on the horizon, hiding between Gotham’s skyline. The weather started to shift, as the warmth of summer slowly gave place to the strong winds and the coolness of the autumn days. The breeze made you wish you had brought a coat or something to keep you warm, the thin gym clothes you wore doing nothing to help you. And so, your body shivered.

Shivered from the cold. Shivered from the fear. The agony you’d so desperately tried to keep away returning back to you. If you went up. If you knocked on his door. If you talked to him, there was no pretending anymore. There was no hiding facts you so wished you could. There was no fighting reality.

A lump formed in your throat, and you tried to swallow it away, to no avail. Your breath, your hands, your legs, your all trembled. Fighting to keep yourself up when all you wanted was to fall down, to curl up under your covers and hide from the world. From the truth.

You thought back to the days when things were easier. To your days at the park, playing around with your friends, the hem of your jeans always dirty from mud, dust or paint. You remembered the days all you had to do was study, your chores, and your drawings. Reading books from sunrise to sundown, or for the entire night. Of when responsibilities didn’t follow you everywhere, and the perspective of the future didn’t break you down.

You thought of your parents. Of how mad they would get. There was always a path to them, a way to follow. A way to live your entire life. Just like they had done theirs. Any step out of that line often led you to trouble. ‘You have to get married to a good and respectful husband. One that will care and provide for you. And then, when the time is right, God will give you children to raise, just like he did to me and your father,’ your mother would tell you. ‘There’s nothing more shameful than a single mother’, were once the words of your father. And the thought of what they’d do to you once they found out had your tears rolling down faster than you could hold them in.

An old lady passed by you, asked if you were okay. You lied, like you’d been doing for the past few days. You weren’t one for lying, never was, and suddenly it was all you did. “Oh dear,” she cooed, and embraced you in an unexpected hug, before her tiny pomsky pulled her away.

Grey took over your surroundings, like one of those movie filters that left everything somber. A single headlight of a motorcycle let you know he was finally here. That the time of truth was upon you. You watched him park his motorcycle like a creep. Hidden in a dark corner, away from his sight. He had showered at the gym, and now wore a different outfit. Sweatpants and a hoodie.

He looked comfortable. You clearly weren’t. He looked happy. Opposite to you. Were you ready to take all that away from him? To curse him to the same pain and anxiety you were feeling now?

But you couldn’t do it alone. You couldn’t. You needed him. You needed him. You needed him by your side. You need someone, something. Something to tell you everything would be okay. Gathering up all your courage, every bit you could find within yourself, you took one step out of the sidewalk.

A deep breath taken before entering the building, you walked in without ceasing to cry. Each step you took up the stairs was heavy. Heavier than when you were drunk, and heavier than the day you left. Each step was a gulp. Each gulp was a scream inside your brain telling you to turn around. About two or three times along the way you stopped to look down, and wondered what would be of you if you’d just ran away.

In your mind, you counted each and every step. An attempt to clear it of thought. It obviously didn’t work. Your legs shook and your breathing faltered with the last steps you took to reach the sixth floor. The tears had dried, leaving your skin cold to the touch. You moved on automatic. Everything else you did a blank stain in your memory.

It was the feeling of the hardwood under your knuckles that brought you back to reality. The hollow sound it made woke you up, showing you’d made it to his door. Your breath got stuck in your throat, and you felt like you could vomit.

He took his time to answer the door. And you wondered if it was a sign to turn around. To leave. But your feet wouldn’t move, even if you screamed at them to do so. The ruffling inside the apartment made your heart jump, beating hard in its place. Your breathing halted, trapped in your larynx, as the tears started rapidly falling down again.

When he opened the door, it was like time had stopped. He assessed you through narrow eyes, still angry at you. You didn’t blame him, not at all.

“They run from you twice and still come right back,” he hissed. His voice was hoarse and monotone, and his eyes found yours in a blank stare. The corners of your mouth fell. Your chin trembled. And had to avert your eyes from him otherwise you’d start sobbing all over again. “Yn,” he called, and his voice didn’t show the hate or disgust anymore. It was worried. It felt pain. Softer and watchfull. “What happened?”

You took a deep breath, swallowing down the tears. Trying so hard to keep them in, but the drops that fell beside your sneakers on the floor were a testament of how your body had stopped responding to you a long time ago. Your shoulders shook, and Jason went from worried to desperate. He didn’t know what was going on. But seeing you like this made him freak out.

And suddenly he wasn’t mad at you anymore. In retrospect, maybe he never truly was. But whatever anger, or frustration he had disappeared from his body. You felt his touch on your shoulder, and you imagined he had just put one hand there as a sign of support. You’d be thankful for just that. But then, you felt his arms drawing you close, wrapping around you, until you felt the soft cotton of his hoodie through your cheek.

The tears ran down faster, soaking a spot on the thick fabric. Your loud sobs only made Jason pull you closer, not knowing how, but still trying to call you down. Whatever happened was too bad that you’d run to him of all people, and he felt obligated to help you in any way he could.

By this point, he was holding you up himself. Your body giving in to the tears. Jason tucked his nose in your hair, breathing in the sweet scent of your shampoo. He caressed your back, kissed you temple, spread warmth through your body with his own hands rubbing at your arms. However, your tears ceased to stop, making the stain under your eyes enlarge, second after second.

“Yn,” he whispered right into your ear. The air he let out hitting against your skin.

You pressed your eyes shut. The tears that still lingered there being forced out. You tightened your hold on him. He called you again, and forced his neck to get a glimpse of your puffy red eyes.

You didn’t want to let go, but forced yourself to push him away just so you could finally face him. You felt your throat dry, a weak cough trying to fix it up. Jason couldn’t help the quick thought of how pretty you looked when you cried, but he felt so much pain in his chest at the same time that he wished he would never see you like that again.

The first time you opened your mouth, nothing came out of it. Jason’s fingers drew figures on your back, both a distraction and an encouragement. You can do it, you can do it. With another deep, long breath, you slowly opened your eyes to meet his.

“I-I’m…” you started, breathless. A single tear late to fall from your eyes. “I’m pregnant.”

Jason’s mind went blank. His body was suddenly weightless. The moments past your announcement, a mere stain in his memory. You now sat beside him on his sofa, your hands covering your face as he heard continuous sobs coming out of you. Your knees tight against your chest, and it didn’t bother him you had your shoes on the sofa. Nothing bothered him. Nothing was on his mind.

Your body quivered, nonstop. His own unresponsive. What the hell did he do?

Pregnant. Eight letters that had the power to change everything. Pregnant. You were pregnant. With his baby.

Jason felt his chest tighten, and breathing suddenly was harder. He tried swallowing the knot in his throat away, but it wouldn’t bulge. Resting his back on the sofa, a hand threading through his hair, he allowed a couple of tears out, rubbing his eyes off any others that dared to hang around.

“Are you sure?” he asked, breaking the prolonged silence with a raspy voice. Moving your head from it’s place buried on your knees, your eyes looked at him with a pain he’d have thought he’d put a knife on your back. “It’s not that I don’t trust you,” he told you softly. “I just want to be sure.”

Straightening beside him, you stared at the cat worriedly looking up at the two humans occupying the sofa. You fiddled with your fingers, pulling at the fabric of your leggings.

“I took a test,” you started to explain. “Three nights ago. And my period was late, and it’s never late. And it’s not like we were careful when we…”

“Not at all.” Jason shook his head. You weren’t careful at all.

The room fell into silence again, the only sounds coming from the cat, now playing between his legs, unaware of the turmoil you’d just caused in his life.

“I’m sorry,” you said, resuming your sobs. “I’m so sorry.”

“No, no,” Jason kept saying. He turned on the sofa, sitting in a position he could easily wrap his arms around you once again. “No, Yn. Don’t be sorry. There’s nothing to be sorry about,” he soothed.

“Jason,” you called him, your voice broken. “How there’s not? I’m fucking pregnant!”

Jason held you tighter. But the truth was, he might’ve been just as scared as you were. A baby meant a new life, responsibilities. And he was still getting used to being an adult and the responsibilities that came with that. It was all going to change. And he had plans…

The two of you stood there until your sobs had quieted down. You didn’t know how long, but you were grateful he was quiet for the entire time. You were thankful he was quiet instead of telling you any of the things you’d thought he would. And you were also thankful he didn’t close his door on your face.

“Have you thought…” Jason tried to speak, but his voice kept on breaking. “Have you thought… of all possibilities?”

He hoped you understood what he meant, because he couldn’t bring himself to say it. It was a hard thing to ask, but he had to. He didn’t want you to think he was pushing you to it, but he needed to know if it was a possibility too. Jason remembered hearing some friends saying they had their girlfriends do it, that they basically forced them. But Jason would never.

He felt you moving on his chest, pushing yourself away from his body, and his breath halted. “It’s your call,” he whispered. “I’ll be there for any of them.”

You had sat back up, hands tugging at your leggings again while you thought. It took you long to answer. Too long for his liking. But he understood your pace, everything was happening way too fast. You needed to think things through. For some reason, his stomach took turns, making him feel sick as he waited.

“I don’t think I could do it,” you stated, staring blankly at your legs. “I don’t think I could end it.” Jason let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. A lightness on his chest he could not name. He nodded, as words didn’t make it out of his lips.

Leaning back on the sofa, you felt his shoulders hit yours. He let out another breath, it was long and you found it hard to read his emotions through it. He was silent beside you, making it even harder for you to guess what was going through his mind.

That’s it, he’s gonna tell you he can’t do it either. He’s gonna leave you alone.

“You just took one test?” he asked after a while. You just nodded. “We should go to the hospital,” he suggested, head turned to watch you. “Get a proper test, just to make sure.”

His suggestion made you hurt. The fact that he doubted you, the fact he thought you’d go to him if you weren’t a hundred percent sure, caused you a pain you did not expect. However, on the other hand, you knew he was right. You had to be certain. False positives happen, right? You could be wrong.

“Okay,” you agreed weakly, turning to face him after all. “I’ll do it.”

It might have been the uncomfortable chairs or the freezing air conditioning, but the time didn’t seem to pass. It was well over an hour since you’d arrived at the hospital, and you’d stopped counting how much you’ve waited for your test results to come out. They said between thirty minutes to an hour, but you were sure it had been longer than that.

While you remained seated for most of your wait, Jason was restless. He stood up and sat down more times than you remember, and he was seriously starting to piss you off with his pacing. Stopping in front of a snack machine, he put some dollar bills in it and took something with him before walking back to you.

Stretching his arm in front of you, he offered both a granola and a Snickers bar. In no mood to be healthy, even though your possible new condition sort of demanded that from you, you took the chocolate gladly.

Jason dropped down on a chair beside you with a huff, and took a bite of the granola bar with a certain annoyance. You were both tired of waiting, that was for sure. The agony you’d felt earlier had simmered down, but you too now sat restless, one of your legs shaking incessantly.

It was involuntary, but Jason’s hand on your knee made it stop. It lingered there for a while, fingertips gracing over the thin fabric and tugging at it just like you had been doing before. You saw his head move, and so did yours, catching his eyes.

Your expressions had been everywhere tonight. The whirlwind of emotions you had gone through justifying each and everyone of them. But this time, his eyes bore into yours much softer, sweeter than they’d been before.

“Yn,” he called your name as if you hadn’t been staring down at him for what seemed like forever. “Whatever happens. Whatever the results say. I’ll be here, alright? I won’t leave you.”

The sincerity in his tone made your eyes tearful once more, but this time you managed to hold them in. You gave him a soft smile, and you were really glad he was here with you now. Putting a hand on top of his, he flipped it over so you could interlace your fingers, caressing its back with your thumb just like he was doing to you.

It was then that your name was called, both of your heads snapping in the reception desk’s direction. Jason stood up and walked over, grabbing a single piece of paper before walking back to you with even taking a glance at it.

When he sat back, he offered you his opened hand. You intertwined your fingers, and held his with both your hands, taking it closer to your heart this time. You couldn’t deny the tiny bit of hope lingering inside you that, just perhaps, you were actually wrong. You weren’t pregnant. But, over the hours, you’d also grown accustomed to the idea. He opened the results with between his thumb and pointer finger, and both your eyes fell on the big letters found on top of it.

Positive. Again. It was positive. You were truly pregnant.

You let out a sigh, closing your eyes to stop the tears from returning. Jason’s hold on you tightened, and you could sense the tension on him returning. He buffed some air out through his mouth, taking another deep breath before doing the same thing again.

“That’s it,” his voice was shaky. “You’re really pregnant.” He forced himself to smile, and you tried to do the same. To no avail. His eyebrows furrowed. “What do we do now?”

“I don’t know,” you replied honestly. “I just wanna go home. It’s been a long night.”

“Okay,” he said softly, standing up and walking with you hand in hand till you left the hospital.

The parking lot was almost empty, and you found Jason’s car sitting isolated far ahead. The silver Toyota Supra shone under the faint light of a lamp post, and you remembered how surprised you were to find him driving it. It finally occurred to you that other than his name and his gym membership, you knew nothing about the man you were about to have a baby with.

He didn’t know you either. Gosh, you didn’t know a thing at this point. About him, about pregnancy, about babies and having children. He asked you ‘what now?’ and you didn’t even have an answer. How the hell were you going to do it?

When he felt your fingers leaving his, Jason immediately turned to face you. Frozen in place and flooded eyes.

“I don’t think I can do it,” you said breathlessly. “Jason, I don't think I can do it. I never wanted kids. I mean, I’ve never really thought about it. I didn’t want it now. I wanted to do it all right. This is not it.” You cried once again, rambling the words that left your mouth. Jason had walked over to you, trying to calm you down and wipe the tears off your face. “I don’t know anything about babies. I’ve only babysat before, but they were much older. And even my nephew, I didn’t meet him until he was, like, six months old. And I don’t know shit about pregnancies. I hated biology. I slept a lot during classes.”

“How can we do it? I barely know you. Gosh I don’t even know your surname, Jason. You’re what, Jason fucking Linetti? How can we have a baby together without knowing each other? We’re supposed to build a family together. A family. My family… I-I never had a family. Not really. I didn’t want a family, Jason. Not now. I don’t think I can do it.”

“Hey, hey,” he cooed, stopping your rambling. He cupped your cheeks with both his hands, holding your face. His forehead rested on yours, forcing you to stare him in the eyes. “I also don’t know what the fuck I’m gonna do. For fucks sake, Yn. But we have time. The baby is not gonna come tomorrow. We’ll figure things out. Together. We have each other, alright? You have me. I’ll be here, with you, all along. You don’t have to worry. We’ll learn how to do this together, and with time. Okay?”

Jason’s dark eyes passed you enough confidence to have you thinking that, maybe, possibly, he was right. You could actually do it. The baby isn’t coming tomorrow, you have time. You’ll figure things out. With Jason. Together.

Slowly, you nodded. You could do it, right?

Jason sighed, relieved you actually believed him, because as of right now, he himself was struggling to do so. Giving your head a long kiss, he pulled you into a hug before pulling away to open his car door to you to enter. Dropping on the driver seat beside you, you desperately waited to get back home.

“I’m Jason Peter Todd. I’m 22 years old. A leo. I work as an exercise physiologist, but I want to be a doctor someday. So I’m working on getting into med school soon. I love motorcycles, they are fucking cool and driving them makes me feel free. I have probably over twenty tattoos and my favorite book is probably Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen.”

“What was that for?” You gave him an amused smile.

“You said you didn’t know me or my surname. Now you do, and you can say you know a little. If you want my social security number too, it’s 108…”

“It’s okay,” you laughed, softly, for the first time in three days. “I guess knowing your surname is fine for now.”

He gave you a smile, but raised one eyebrow at you. Confused, you frowned, trying to understand what he meant until he pointed at you with his head, leading you to do the same as he did.

“Okay,” you started. “I’m Yn Sn. I work at Runaway Magazine as Sandra’s assistant, but I really want to be a journalist. I don’t have any tattoos because I’m afraid of needles, and I can’t choose a favorite book because I like too many.”

“Nice to meet you Yn Sn,” he greeted, extending his hand for you to shake.

“Nice to meet you too, Jason Todd. Now can you please take me home. I’m exhausted.”

“Alright,” he gave you a smirk. “Do you remember the address this time?”

He insisted on walking you to your door, wanting to make sure you actually got home safe. You didn’t know where he thought you could disappear to between the sidewalk and your apartment door, but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t starting to enjoy his company.

The elevator ride was silent, and neither of you spoke as you tried to unlock your front door.

“Thank god,” you said. Relief spread through you as the door opened and you got into your home. Immediately taking off your sneakers, you placed them by the door so they could keep it open for you. Looking back at Jason, who still didn’t dare step inside your apartment, you managed to give him a thankful smile. “And thank you too, Jason.”

“You don’t have to thank me. It’s not even the least I can do, it’s my responsibility now.”

“But still, thank you. There were many ways out for you, and you took none,” you explained, resting your shoulder on the door frame.

“Yn, you didn’t make this baby alone” he began. “I saw your state when you knocked on my door, and I also made you a promise. I don’t usually break them.”

For a brief minute, you two stood in silence again. Eyes lingering over each other. A recognizable tension in the air. You averted your eyes from him, as warmth engulfed your cheeks, the painted nails on your toes suddenly a lot more interesting to you.

“I’ll be going then. Call me if you need anything, alright?” he said, already halfway to the elevator.

“Jason,” you called and he turned back. Hopeful. “Do you even have my number?”

He stopped to think, and a dumb smile appeared on his face upon realizing he had never asked you for your number, nor did he ever give you his. Taking his phone out of his sweatpants pockets, he handed it to you. “If you don’t mind. I think I really should have your number.” He combed a hand through his hair.

You typed in your phone number, trying to think of what to write your name as, but concluding your name would be just fine. You gave yourself a call so you could save his too later, and returned him his cellphone.

He awkwardly waved you goodbye, and called the elevator that opened up instantly, not having left your floor since you had gotten home. You watched him as the door began to close, head hanging low and a tired demeanor.

“Jason?” you called again, and he put his hand on the door just as it was about to fully close. It opened again, and he placed his hands on each side of the door frame. “Thank you,” you said softly.

“Stop thanking me,” he laughed and now allowed the door to close.

You stood there, dumbfoundedly watching the closed door as you swiftly repeated the entire night in your head. Every moment of pain, despair and torture morphing into nervous expectation of the future that was about to come.

You didn’t allow yourself to think too much about it. An entire day was already enough, you needed rest.

A rumbling beside you grabbed your attention, and your head turned to your friend’s door. Nessie poked her head out, clearly surprised to see you there.

“Weren’t you on a trip?” she asked, and you shook your head, leaving her a lot more confused.

“There’s so much we need to talk,” you sighed, allowing your weight to fall on her as you engulfed her in a tight hug.

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amymbona · 1 month ago

Note

I was thinking about being Patrick’s childhood friend and accidentally marrying him at Las Vegas. You’ve been in love with him for years and he with you, but neither of you know that the other is in love with each other. The marriage is completely legit and it’s weird, but it is so much work and money to get a divorce. You’re both close anyway and there are some benefits to staying married, so might as well right? Patrick agrees and you both go with it. The fact that you’re both secretly in love with each other has nothing to do with that decision of course…

Just all the domestic bliss of living with someone you’ve loved for ages but are unable to properly say it. Slowly coming to realize both of you are in love wirh each other and that this is the happiest mistake of your life.

(very vague ik but just some thoughts)

Ughhh imagine going on a lovey dovey honeymoon because both of you feel like two weeks spend tanning at the beach and drinking cocktails are more than needed. If Patrick is still playing tennis, he's like semi-famous, so the two of you might meet a guy or two who excitedly take selfie with him and then swiftly tweet how the Zweig guy is married!

The way the two of you act is a mix of friendly and romantic, cause nothing changed, but actually everything has changed. You know what I mean? It's no secret the two of you are touchy, giggly and all that jazz, like you've been best friends since you've learned how to speak! You genuinely don't mind if Patrick sees your boob when the top of your bikini slips while the two of you are swimming the sea; he literally held your hair and rubbed your back when you first got drunk, and changed a pad for you once as well. There's no hint of embarrassment or fear between the two of you.

However, for some reason, Patrick can't keep his eyes off of you. He's looking at you in such a different - lustful - way, but not in the sense that he'd bend you over the nearest surface and fuck you. God, you're glowing, you're like an angel, like a goddamn diamond that shines brighter than the cheap gold ring he put on your finger (he needs to buy you a prettier one). He longs to see you in pretty dresses, to lay in bed with you while you're reading your favourite book, to twirl your hair around his finger, to kiss your pink lips. But do you feel the same way about him?

And, oh, you do. You fucking do, and it drives you crazy. If only Patrick knew how much you wish you were one of the girls that are mentioned in articles about him, how much you wish that the two of you could go out in public and people would speculate it you're just a family friend or something more. And now you might have it, but is it really what you dreamed about?

It's like a fever dream to you actually, like a beautiful dream that you will wake up from once you make it back to the USA, slipping into consciousness and forced to part ways. What if the excitement will wear of? What if Patrick will realise that this situation offers no benefits at all and decides to go through the awful process of a divorce.

Patrick manages to convince you otherwise, especially when he scoops you into his arms while you're walking along the beach and threatens to drop you into the water, when he buys you your favourite flavour of ice cream and wipes a drop of it from your chin. The more Patrick does, the more you find yourself falling in love with him, which can't be good at all. But in the end, these are just the feelings that you've managed to repress for years, and maybe now, you'll be finally allowed to let them flow freely, considering you're officially Mrs Zweig.

#pookies army <3 #patrick zweig #patrick zweig x reader #ask

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mariaofdoranelle · 2 months ago

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Of Rumors and Bodyguards

CO-WRITTEN WITH @leiawritesstories

Written for Rowaelin Month’s Forbidden Love day; @rowaelinscourt

We’re just two writers sharing little evil giggles and big plans, that’s all.

Warnings: swearing

Words: 1,2k

AELIN GALATHYNIUS CHEATING SCANDAL: SPOTTED IN INTIMATE MOMENT WITH BODYGUARD!!!

“QUEEN OF GLASS” STAR SHARED EMBRACE WITH SECURITY GUARD! DORIAN HAVILLIARD IN TEARS!

Aelin Galathynius caught cheating on Dorian Havilliard with bodyguard! Hollywood’s Darling Has How Many Darlings??? See New Photos

After the third ridiculous headline, Aelin dropped both the stack of magazines and her phone and flopped backwards on the hotel bed with a groan. Her publicist had woken her up with coffee and the tabloids, and she wished she had time to wake up before she had to look at the absolutely crazy stories that the gossiping tabloids spread. Even though she had been acting for years, she still wasn’t used to their prying and the constant cameras clicking in her face, even when she wasn’t trying to be noticed.

Besides, that garbage about her and her bodyguard? It was pure nonsense.

Well, mostly nonsense.

The photos they had taken were true enough, because Aelin had hugged her bodyguard last night. However, there was absolutely no romance involved—Whitethorn had been physically supporting her, keeping her on her feet.

Because he’s her bodyguard. He was guarding her body, that’s all—and a lot less than she would like.

She had been about to collapse after she had received a very brief, very shocking call on the phone she rarely used. The voice on the other end had been low, curt, and to the point. There was an accident during a job. We haven’t heard anything from them. That was two weeks ago.

The implication—they could be dead—made Aelin’s whole body go weak, and her security guard’s rapid reflexes were the only thing that had kept her upright. For a moment, she let him hold her, let him stabilize her, leaned into the solid strength of his Kevlar-covered chest. And then she pulled herself together, put away her burner phone, and stepped away from Whitethorn’s hug. She’d given him a nod of thanks, and he nodded back in quiet understanding.

Simple support, and not even an emotional one. That was all that had happened.

Leave it to the tabloids to take that moment out of context and start rumors that spread like wildfire across the Internet.

And Dorian—he was probably too busy with the boyfriend he was definitely hiding from the tabloids to notice the Rumor of the Day, but his publicist would surely give Aelin a piece of her mind soon.

Elide stuck her head into Aelin’s hotel room, rolled her eyes when she saw the magazines discarded on the floor. “You know they’re a load of crap,” the publicist said as she walked over and picked them up. “Also, I need you to read this one.” She flipped one of the magazines open and laid it across Aelin’s lap.

“Why?” Aelin glanced quickly down at the pages, scoffing at the grainy, zoomed-in photos splashed onto the glossy paper. “Gossip pisses me off, Ells.”

“Yeah, I know, but you need to read the actual words so you know how to respond when the people today ask you about it.” As usual, Elide had a good point.

“Fine.” Aelin frowned, but she began to read.

Is Aelin Galathynius Taken By Someone Else?!?!?

The “Queen of Glass” star was spotted last night in an intimate embrace with a man who sources say is her current bodyguard, Rowan Whitethorn, who has been on her security team since March, when Galathynius began this press tour for the newest season of the Netflix hit series.

Sources report that Aelin and her co-star Dorian Havilliard are often seen getting cozy together outside of press appearances, and an exchange in a recent interview confirmed that the pair’s wild, explosive chemistry on-screen has spilled off the screen too. Fans all over the world were overjoyed to hear of the star’s new romance.

But the photos from last night tell an entirely different story. Could it be that the actress has more than one man after her heart? Or could she be keeping something secret?

Last night, sources say that Galathynius was walking back to her hotel with Whitethorn as her escort when she stopped briefly in a nearby park. Only minutes later, she was spotted in her bodyguard’s arms! Looks like a romance is brewing, or even already in progress! After all, her incredibly popular character in “Queen of Glass” spent the whole first season secretly in love with Dorian’s character until they finally brought their romance to light. Is life imitating art?

According to an eyewitness, the embrace lasted for several minutes before the actress moved away from her bodyguard and began walking to her hotel again. At this time, we do not know any additional details, but with the ongoing press tour, we are certain that she will make an announcement soon. Keep your eyes on our social media for the latest, hottest updates!!

“They’re such vultures.” Disgusted, Aelin threw the magazine at Elide, who caught it before it could smack her in the stomach.

Elide huffed. “It’s their job to stir up the people. Be prepared for at least half the interviewers today to ask you about this.” She launched into her daily spiel about what Aelin should expect during the press that she, Dorian and a few of their castmates were filming. “And above all, don’t you dare let Dorian answer any of the questions they’re going to ask about the plot of this season. You know better than anyone how much of a spoiler machine he is. He gets one spoiler this time. One.”

“I might have to tape his big mouth shut,” Aelin joked. “Bet the press would eat that up.”

“Honestly, it might give them something else to yap about.” Elide straightened, one finger up as she recalled something. “Pap walk! We’re doing a round of pap walks to get their attention somewhere else. I’ll text the details, but so far…”

Elide flipped through her notes, and Aelin was about to ask a few follow-up questions when there was a rapid, firm knock on the door.

“What?”

Rowan Whitethorn cracked open the door and stepped into the room. “They’re ready for her in hair and makeup.” He scanned the room, his gaze sharp, alert. “Morning, Miss Galathynius.”

His face was perfectly neutral like it always was, making it impossible to tell if he knew anything about the new rumors. He probably did, but Rowan was so professional, it got unnerving sometimes.

“Morning, Sergeant Whitethorn.” He’d never been in the military, but she called him “Sergeant” anyway. Mostly because it made him delightfully grumpy.

True to form, he frowned, but instead of his usual snarky retort, he just held the door open for her and walked her across the hall to another room, this one full of stylists. She was swept into their whirlwind, and by the time she turned around, her bodyguard was once again outside the door, on watch for any potential mishaps. Rowan really was an excellent security guard.

Too bad he was also a highly wanted criminal.

You can get notified when I update by either turning notifications on for @mariaofdoranelle-fics or joining my (sometimes glitchy) one general tag list!!

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#rowaelin #rowan whitethorn #rowaelin month #throne of glass #rowaelin fanfiction #rowan x aelin #aelin x rowan #rowaelin fanfic #throne of glass fanfic

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just-a-ghost00 · 2 months ago

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You got mail 💌

Let’s find out what the person on your mind has to say to you. Pick one of the following emojis and discover your reading.

🌍 🩵 🌄 🤠

Group 1 🌍

I may not show it to you but I am really happy we met. Everyday with you feels like a new adventure. Though we are worlds apart and so different from each other, I really feel like we match perfectly. You make me feel like I belong. Every moment spent with you is so much fun. It makes me want to jump forward and explore. You are so sweet and generous, so playful that I can’t help but to play along. I feel so lucky being with you. There is so much I want to do with you. I want to hang out with you and get to know you more. Maybe we could have a couple drinks, play in a park, have a little date by the river… if you wish. I feel so boring compared to you. With me, everything is always black and white. But you, my love, are so colorful and bright. I wish we were a family. I wish I could wake up in the morning to find you sitting at the table, eating breakfast with a smile on your face. I wish I could share with you my favorite spots and take you to every place I get to see. I wish I could find a way to express all that you mean to me. I tend to see the glass half empty. But when I’m with you I want to believe everything is possible. You have filled my cup with your love and I am so thankful for that. I can’t find the words to tell you how much I owe to you. You’ve made me a better person and I feel like I could never return the favor.

Group 2 🩵

I may look like all is well and fine but to tell you the truth I feel hollow. And I could use some fun. I always seem so busy, always the life of the party, making everybody laugh and ensuring they have a good time. But deep inside, it’s getting tough. As the days go by, I feel my energy depleting and my motivation as well. I don’t even know why I do this anymore. I force myself for the sake of keeping appearances but honestly I’m not sure I like it at all. I’m afraid that if you dig deep enough, you wouldn’t like what you find there. I am much more fragile than I seem. Also much more mellow and soft when I get the chance. But lately I’m more of a zombie than anything. I don’t think I could bring you much joy nor comfort. I’m afraid I’ve turned bitter. It’s all about work and making sure the money gets in and less about enjoying what I’m doing. I need to pay the bills. There’s competition around. I can’t afford to lose. Everyone’s counting on me. People look up to me. I sacrificed a lot to get there. I can’t back down now. Who would I be if I did? I can’t disappoint. It’s all a masquerade but it’s for a cause. It might not look great to you but it means a lot to me. So, sorry if I’m acting cold but… it’s all for you baby. Don’t go thinking I found someone better. Believe me I don’t have the time for that.

Group 3 🌄

Hold on a minute ! I know what you’re gonna think. What the heck is he/she saying? But hey, let me explain you’ll get it ! I may not be the strongest, the wisest or the most impressive of them all but one thing that’s sure about me is that I only have good intentions for you. I am ready to fight for you if that must be done. Thought I’m not good at that. Listen, my point is I really like you. I want to be with you, have fun with you, chat with you. I want us to take our time and get to know each other and hopefully to grow old together but that’s another story. With you I feel like a kid again. Sometimes, I gotta say, the feeling can be irritating. But at the same time it is freeing. I don’t have to chose a side. I don’t have to act a certain way to be accepted by you or understood. And that’s crazy! I’ve never experienced that before. Usually I would try to conform and play nice, show my best side and stick to the plan. But ever since I met you I want to free myself of those restraints. I want to find my home. I want to express my full potential without fearing being rejected or not belonging. I know you’ll never kick me out. Because you are the same aren’t you? The things I’ve seen, what I’ve been through, you’ve been there as well, right? I want to make a promise to you. Whatever comes our way, I swear I won’t run away. Even though it is scary and seems impossible, I will always work hard and do my best to make it. I may not be exactly your type or what you imagined a partner should be, but I am willing to learn. I am willing to tune to your melody and shelter whatever we may build together, not matter how unstable it may seem. I want you to feel comfortable with me. I want you to feel as safe with me as I feel with you. So if you’ll let me, let me fulfill that promise. You won’t regret it.

Group 4 🤠

To be honest, at first I didn’t get the best of vibes from you. I was a little intimidated and didn’t want to get to know you. Especially considering what people were saying about you. But I tried to see past your exterior and once I got to know you I found out that you were very chill. Maybe it was because I didn’t know you. Maybe I feared the unknown territory you represented. Maybe I was just afraid of going deep. But curiosity got the best of me. And luckily for both of us I stayed around long enough to make my own opinion. And I have to say that you are quite surprising. I won’t lie, being with you asks a lot of efforts on my part. But every second spent with you is worth it. In your presence, I feel comfortable. Being with you reminds me of my childhood. I think of my mother and my family, of the days we spent together before I moved away and followed the wind where it took me. Every page of our story takes me deeper within. I see sides of myself I never noticed or didn’t want to remember. I remember the innocent days where doing something new weren’t as terrifying and meeting new people sounded like a thrill. Being with you I feel blessed and content. There’s a light heartedness and a warmth in my heart I wouldn’t trade for anything. When I’m alone at home you’re all I think about. When I’m at work also. There isn’t a single moment when you’re not on my mind. When I’m with you I feel hopeful. I think that maybe life isn’t as tough as I thought it would be. That maybe there is more waiting for me. Please, show me more of your different sides. Tell me more about what makes you happy. Let me in and let me see for myself what you are made of. I’m begging you don’t shut me out. I want more of you.

#just-a-ghost #pick a card #pac reading #spiritual pac #love pac

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synergysilhouette · 3 months ago

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"Batman: Caped Crusader" review

Binge-watched this show, and I wanted to be one of many people to share my thoughts on this--plus I was spurred on by getting a wish of mine granted from the show. Make sure to check out the show if you can!

The animation is beautiful--I know this is a weird comparison, but soemthing about the animation reminds me of 2010s Scooby Doo animated films, and I kind of adore that.

The voice acting was...fine--I can't tell if it was poor performances or poor direction; Hamish's Bruce Wayne sounds too raspy/rugged some of the time, like he's still playing Batman, and many of the other actors felt like they were just reading lines rather than performing lines, not enough emotion. IDK if they're more used to live-action work, but voice-acting is a different ballgame, since your voice is all you have to convey the character. A lot of performances fell flat for me, but it wasn't 100% unbearable, just underwhelming. I have some people I'd recommend instead (both familiar to the role and otherwise), but I don't wanna start anything.

LOVED Harley (but not her costume)--Jamie Chung had one of the better performances in the group, and I really LOVED the angle they did for Harley; I feel like the media often flanderizes her as the goofy crazy chick, so seeing her actually utilize her psychology skills (like I've been asking for!) is so satisfying. That said, the outfit has GOT TO GO. Gold and black is gorgeous, but it ples in comparison to her black and red look. And a weird nit-pick; when I first saw the stills, I was under the impression she was wearing a carnival-esque mask rather than face paint, and I find that idea a lot creepier. I wish we'd gotten more of Harley's antics--and even seeing her get close to Bruce in the way she did with Barbara and Renee--before revealing her as a big bad to the public. And I appreciate that she isn't 100% evil; she is doing what she believes is a noble cause, just doing it in an illegal and unethical way. I needed a backstory!

Not enough Batman--Maybe it's just me, but it definitely felt like there were some episodes where Bruce and Batman were supporting characters and more focus was on the GCPD. While I don't mind it too much, I enjoy superhero shows for the superheroes, not the heroes; this is why I had a love/hate relationship with "Gotham."

Batman (and Bruce) isn't quite likeable enough--In earlier incarnations, Batman was more kind and caring before becoming more emotionally closed off with time, but here he's that way from the get-go. Not to mention that Bruce Wayne puts on a facade around everyone, even people he trusts (he probably did that anyway; I can't remember), and his session with Harleen really frustrated me because I don't expect his walls to come down immediately, I don't expect them to be this high this early. I wanted him to be a bit warmer and transparent, rather than curt and cold like he's usually seen in the show. I feel like this is an issue often seen in comics, too; people prioritize Batman's "coolness" and thus push his feelings to the wayside.

Using underrated and familiar villains--I'm sure the real experts are gonna chew me out for this one, but as someone who got into comics in the 2010s and didn't catch up on the acclaimed 90s series, it was fun to see villains I loved and villains I didn't know; one of the best things a popular property can do is use underrated characters, since it helps the show feel original and fresh (thus why "Teen Titans" is so enjoyable; the whole franchise is underrated).

Too modern for the 1940s--I can't put my fingers on it exactly, but the vibes feel too modern; I assume the 1940s was for aesthetics, but since everything else feels updated (from the way people talk to Harley and Renee seemingly being open about their feelings for each other), I don't think it was a wise choice to have it both ways. I see no reason not to have it in modern-day, but I suppose you'd have to get more creative with technology.

Barbara and the Robins--First off, I should've gambled with someone that Jason would be a redhead; I'd have made SO MUCH money. Secondly, I'm not crazy about how all four kids are orphans; If I recall correctly, both Carrie and Stephanie's parents were alive when they joined the Batfamily. In any case, I'm confused on why Barbara is significantly older than them when they're all supposed to be within the same age bracket (I think; someone has told me otherwise since posting this, so I could be wrong). Not to mention, a part of me worries that because of the quartet's young ages and Barbara getting so much screentime as a lawyer, we won't get any of them as Robins or Batgirls unless something drastic happens, and/or we get a time jump.

Overall, I think my biggest gripes are the voice acting and how Batman/Bruce Wayne is written. That said, I enjoyed the show overall. IDK why HBO Max dropped it. Hopefully season 2 will introduce Poison Ivy, Catman, Tim Drake, Ghostmaker, and Gardener, since the finale already showed us a certain someone who IS coming to Gotham.

#batman #bruce wayne #batman caped crusader #caped crusader #harley quinn #catwoman #barbara gordon #dick grayson #stephanie brown #jason todd #carrie kelly #two face #dc comics

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openphrase123 · 2 months ago

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i just finished this fic! it's good!

and because it's all done i want to like... be a LITTLE self indulgent and talk under the cut about some miscellaneous things that i ran into while writing it. don't click the readmore if you're interested in the fic and haven't read it yet i'm about to spoil the Whole thing.

also there is an epilogue to this fic now - go read that before this post if you're getting to this before the update!!

so!! i haven't written fanfiction in like FIVE YEARS. it's been a while! part of that is because i was doing original stuff and part of it was i was in a creative slump. so isat kind of dug me out of that and i owe it my thanks. i've been able to do a crazy amount of original work since starting this fic, it's brought back my creative discipline. in like seven years when my video game comes out you can thank isat for that probably

i originally set out thinking this was the only fic for isat i was going to write. and then as i was writing this i fell deeper into it. i kind of got out of isat a little disappointed in how it ended?? but now that i'm here i'm like ah it's fine. just cause i would have done something different in dev's position doesn't mean it's bad. it does mean i can write a bunch of fanfiction exploring things i wish had been tackled more in the game though LOL

i said this in one of the chapter authors notes but i DID start out curtain call hating loop with every fiber of my being. (as in i liked them as a character UNTIL the act 6 reveal which i thought was lame) and then i played through the game a second time knowing the loop twist and went "oh nvm this makes sense" so a lot of the loop stuff in this fic was actually written twice. originally i was just gonna have them soulmerge with siffrin and not be present at all but then i was like. no. i do want to keep this lighthearted and that's too depressing of an end for loop. i do have a loop postcanon doc so i'll go repay them for their slapdashed involvement in curtain call someday

i'm in a weird position with curtain call in that i wrote the themes and major conflicts Directly After playing through isat the first time. before i could really marinate and analyze the characters fully. so there are a lot of scenes and points where i think i wouldn't characterize certain people like that if i were to rewrite this from scratch? however i don't disagree with what i've written either - it's just an interpretation that i don't necessarily think is my favorite anymore.

neither is any of the worldbuilding i did for any of this - it works for curtain call and i think it was nice but i don't necessarily think it's my current interpretation of what the culture and people were like? i like the wishes being permanent thing, i like the language stuff, but i'd probably go in a different direction if i went through this again

i do actually still think "the forgotten island was destroyed by a volcano" is my solid headcanon explanation of what happened to it. in my heart. i think like - with siffrin as a character especially it's very important that he's always missing something, that it's not idyllically happy for them at the end of everything. so even if he can remember more from their own past, it's - you know - there's no way to go back. only forward.

in the vein of this i probably could have killed siffrin/loop's entire childhood family but i did not. mostly because i did think it was fun for him to have to explain all of those cultural taboos they broke to survive. which, of course, was not a big deal - any good parent would rather their kid be alive than lawful - but what is isat other than a vehicle to make siffrin work through every moral compulsion and spiral they experience

i had a thought halfway through writing the fic that i was stepping on the very good and beautiful odile friendquest by making the island real and having a lot of siffrin's personality dictate how it went. but i ultimately decided on keeping siffrin very close to their country, more than odile is to vaugarde, because siffrin actually DID live on the island when he was a kid and that i think is a Different type of "longing for your country" trauma than odile's. i think they can still drink over the feelings together though

writing bonnie is very fun but very emotional for me. the bonnie&siffrin age gap (preteen to late-20s) is the exact age gap between me and my niece so every time i need to sit down and write something for them i think about her and how much she's a little baby growing up. this has nothing to do with bonnie it just makes writing bonnie really hard for me

if the entire history of my ao3 account was not an indicator, i'm a very big fan of writing romance, but i did not want it to take over curtain call at all. i also could have left out sloopis entirely and almost did, but thought "you know. with the way loop functions in this fic. i should at least let that be open ended" cause sharing a body with a version of you who is dating some other guy is gonna get messy no matter what. it's just not necessarily something i had time to or the urge to explore here. think of it as a fun spiritual nod to the fact that isafrin is technically open ended in isat (<- cop out answer)

i think i'm pretty vocal in how much i am absolutely insane for the flashback "happiest i can remember being" conversation. who let them do that. i think a lot of how i worked with mirabelle and siffrin's relationship in this fic kind of revolved around that. important to me that it ends with mira checking in on him and getting the answer she was looking for all along <3

overall i'm happy with curtain call. glad i am done with it though. there's so much that's running in with it at once. i'll probably wait a month and reread the whole thing to myself front to back before i start having fond memories of this. i mean it's always gonna be the fic my nephew was born during and i'll always remember having a panic attack in the airport right after posting chapter 7 but it's gonna be weird letting this one sail off into the ocean of the internet. however feel free to ask anything about the fic, i wrote this in a lil hurry on a bad day and probably didn't cover everything

goodbye, curtain call!! i love you!!!!! i'll miss you!!!!

[looks both ways, waiting for most people to leave]

also. if you've read this far. i hope it's not too gauche of me to link my personal project. if you've read over 100k words of this you might enjoy the game i'm developing? i've been working on it for almost a year but i just started the devlog last month. it's still in early baby stages as far as a full video game goes but if you liked this you'll like the game when it comes out (similar nickname culture, timeloop trauma, petty interpersonal drama, very stupid jokes, natural disaster angst)

also there isn't a lot on the devblog yet, i've mostly been doing programming on it, i JUST started visdev i'm sorry if it's uglyyyyy (FOR NOW)

anyway i'm trusting you with that link. i'm going to use my professional name on that project when it airs don't cross the wires pretty please just pretend that's a butch-y cis woman's game <3 guard the closet door babeyyyyy

#isat #yaaay :)

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itsmarsss · 5 months ago

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To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before AU: Chapter 1 - Out [Eli “Hawk” Moskowitz x fem!Reader] (Cobra Kai)

You have been writing these love letters since seventh grade, but what happens when they somehow get sent out?

Warnings: high school (lol i wrote this one when i was in high school but im rewriting it now that im like three years out of it so it feels weird and i feel like it warrants a warning, definitely senior year tho.), hardcore crushing on miguel, mentions of a crush on moon so if ya don’t like women too then idk, uhh mention of smoking weed.

Word Count: 4,060

Your letters were your most prized possessions: yours, and yours only.

You wrote one when you had a crush so intense you felt like you needed to snap out of it or otherwise you’d collapse.

So, you wrote letters to try to find closure. Intricately detailed letters that contained every single unfiltered thought and embarrassing feeling you could find in yourself. Everything you noticed about them, everything you wished you had with them, everything you wanted to say but couldn’t.

It started a long while ago.

You never sent them, of course. That idea was completely off the table. They remained stored inside the little blue box with the white ribbon buried deep in the back of your closet, from where you would occasionally take them just to read them again and reminisce on the thoughts a younger version of you once had about all those different people.

They were all properly sealed, stamped and addressed in pretty cursive letters, but never, ever posted.

They were six in total, addressed to five different people.

The first one ever written had been for Eli, from seventh grade. Adorable little Eli, who was one of the biggest nerds you’d ever seen, always too shy to talk around others, but who would go on excitedly about a tv show or a comic book series he liked for hours around you after getting paired for a project got him to warm up to you.

Adorable little Eli, who trembled like crazy before kissing you in a dumb game of spin the bottle, right before running home crying because some girl thought it would be hilarious to comment on how she wouldn't have let him kiss her with "that mouth" if she were you. You, in turn, couldn't feel more different from that bullshit comment of hers after that messy seventh grade first kiss that lasted barely a couple seconds but fed your crush on him for months on end after.

That letter was followed by a new one, addressed also to him, but the new him this time around, many years later, in your sophomore year- to Hawk, not Eli. However that worked.

To Hawk, who had decided to “flip the script”, as he called it, by changing his entire aesthetic and his whole demeanor, showing up to school on a random day with a blue dyed mohawk and a brand new attitude. You liked it.

Confident Eli seemed happier even though he sometimes acted like a bit of an asshole and, as much as you didn’t want to admit it, he looked really, really hot. He was still Eli, but this Eli wasn’t afraid to flirt with you, which evoked brand new feelings in you.

Therefore, a new letter.

The second letter you ever wrote was addressed to Demetri, from eight grade, who you met around the same time as Eli.

Demetri, who would talk to you about superheroes and binary language and would be so excited about it that you didn’t care to tell him you couldn’t understand a word of what he said.

Demetri, who was so kind as to go to your house to help you with your part on the biology project you were partnered with him in because he knew it was stressing you out, who would offer to tutor you when you told him you were having a hard time with a subject he was good at at school, and who you got closer to when randomly put in many classes together.

The third letter you ever wrote was addressed to Robby Keene, who you became closer to after ditching the homecoming dance in your freshman year to hang out by yourself at the bleachers, despite Sam and Aisha’s protests, only to find out it apparently was Robby Keene’s favorite smoking spot.

Apparently high school dances could be pretty lame, no matter what all high school movies from the 80's had been telling you all your life. You had asked if you were interrupting something when you noticed his presence and he told you it depended on whether you'd be snitching on him or not, and suddenly freshman homecoming didn't suck all that much anymore, because you managed to make friends with the most unlikely acquaintance you could ever have.

Robby, who at fourteen years old got detention for threatening to beat up the kids who made you cry because they kept making fun of you during a presentation, which was about substance abuse, ironically.

The fourth one had been written to Moon, who you used to despise because she used to hang out with Yasmine- who, for the longest time, had loved to pick on you and your friends- especially Eli and Demetri.

But Moon, who turned out to be so sweet after she started doing and saying things for herself as opposed to whatever her friends wanted her to and started hanging out with your friend group.

Moon, who would excitedly invite you to sleep overs and braid your hair as you gossiped about people you barely knew from school, who would do your makeup for you and take you shopping and call you pet names platonically, making you blush furiously and putting you in the verge of short-circuiting by being so casually affectionate now that you’d become friends.

And, lastly, the most recent one had been written to Miguel Diaz, of course.

Miguel, who was your best friend in the whole entire world, ever since he moved to Reseda and you first befriended him at school.

Miguel, who was currently dating Sam, who you’d drifted apart from, but couldn’t for the life of you hold a grudge against.

Yeah, Miguel.

But before he became Sam’s boyfriend, he was your boyfriend. Well… boy-friend. A boy who was a friend. And things were good as they were.

But then things started changing.

Things started changing when Miguel asked Sam out and you realized you didn’t like that. When the first thing he did when he got home was to tell you all about it, and you felt a pit in your stomach as he went on about how well things had gone.

Until you couldn’t lie to yourself anymore and had to face the reality that the reason it all made you feel so awful was that you were jealous.

It was even worse to figure out why: as much as you could try to lie to yourself and pretend you were just jealous that she was spending time with your best friend, you knew you had to face it: it all came down to the simple fact that you were in love with him.

You didn’t know when it happened, or what was the turning point for that, but you were. Utterly and irredeemably.

And, in hindsight, it seemed obvious.

But then they started dating, and they didn’t want you to feel left out, so they would you and Aisha everywhere, which made things so much worse.

And then they broke up, and things got, somehow, even weirder. Now it was all you and Miguel again, and, even after all of that, you still had those stupid feelings for him. But you weren’t a complete bitch, or insensitive. You’d never make a move, you’d just have to live with it.

Which didn’t mean there was nothing you could do about it: you decided to try to put an end to it, your own way.

Hence, how letter number six came to be. Signed, addressed, stamped, sealed and stored in the blue box under all the others.

Maybe after this you’d be able to move on. Maybe after this things would go back to normal. How you craved for things to go back to how they used to be.

It seemed reasonable enough to just wait on your feelings to die out.

But a certain day came when then Eli- well, Eli, who was Hawk now, marched up to you in the middle of your gym class.

“Y/n?” He called your name, and you stopped running your laps, turning around to face him, eyebrows knit together in confusion. What was Hawk doing in your gym class?

You let him approach you. “What’s wrong?”

“Look, I appreciate it but it’s… not gonna happen. Like, you know we’re friends, and you know I'm still like… hung up on Moon, or whatever. Right? I know the power of the Hawk’s pretty irresistible,” he smirked, quickly going back to his stern expression, “but you should cut it out.”

You really had no idea what the hell he could be possibly talking about. “Dude… what?”

“C’mon you don’t have to play dumb, it’s cool that you think my scar makes me look cute or whatever but like. I uh. Don’t have any feelings for you now.” Wait, what did he say about the scar? He kept on. “And like it’s- it’s pretty cool that you liked me before and now too but this would just- this would be weird. You know that, right?”

You just weren't getting it.

And then you saw it: in his hand, signed, addressed and stamped, were two open envelopes with two different names written on them in your best cursive handwriting. Fuck.

“Hey- woah are you alright? You look like you're gonna pass out.”

You felt like you were going to pass out. You couldn’t even form a sentence in the midst of your shock.

And then, Miguel came into your line of sight. Because of course things had to get worse.

“There’s no fucking way,” you muttered, incredulous. He was walking up to you, a red envelope in hand.

The letters got out the letters got out the letters got out.

He looked confused. He obviously, and much understandably, wanted answers. Answers you’d much rather get hot by a bus than giving him.

This could not be your fucking life.

“No, no, no, no, no, oh, my god,” you looked around frantically as he got closer, trying to figure out what to do. Hawk surely thought you were crazy now.

And then Miguel made eye contact with you and he had that fucking look of pity on his face and you panicked. And so you did the first thing that came to your short-circuiting mind, which was possibly the dumbest thing you could have thought to do: apparently all you managed to think of was jumping Hawk, tackling him to the ground and kissing him in the middle of gym for Miguel to see.

How maturer and over him you were! Incredible!

The kiss was over as soon as it happened, and you pulled away as Hawk stared at you with two wide eyes and shock all over his face.

You could sympathize with the guy- getting this as a reaction to your rejection was probably really confusing.

More important things going on, though. You got a glance of Miguel stopping in his tracks at your little theatrics, making you realize it definitely didn’t do anything other than make things more awkward for you.

“Uh. Thanks. Sorry or… whatever. I’ll see you in bio!” You told Hawk, patting his chest before standing up and booking away from him, running past Miguel way too quickly for him to be able to approach you and ignoring his call of your name, and locking yourself in one of the stalls of the closest bathroom you were able to find, trying every single breathing exercise you’ve ever come across to calm yourself down.

This was it. Miguel hated you, surely.

No, worse: he pitied you. Because obviously he didn't feel the same and obviously receiving a love letter so embarrassingly honest from his closest friend was weird. Now your friendship was going to be weird, and it was all you fau-

“Y/n? Are you in there?”

No. No. No, no, no, no, no, no. This can't be happening, there was no way.

“Y/n? Are you okay?”

Goddamn Robby Keene.

“Oh my god,” you muttered to yourself. Maybe willing him away in your mind would alter reality so he wasn’t there in the bathroom with you.

If only it were that easy.

Resting your head in your hands as you tried to convince yourself this was some sort of nightmare, you heard a noise come from really close to you and opened your eyesto the pink envelope being slid under the stall to you.

“I thought you’d want it back. Seemed pretty personal.”

“Robby, holy shit, I’m so sorry. You do know I wrote this like years ago, right?” He had to have figured that out, didn’t he? You weren’t even close anymore.

“Yeah! Like freshman year right? When we smoked together while everyone was at the dance.” He didn't seem to be mocking you, didn't seem to be angry. Just pointing it out. You sighed and opened the stall door, deciding facing Robby wouldn't be as bad as facing Miguel. You walked out.

“Yeah it was- it was pretty cool. Better than whatever was going down in the dance.”

“Yeah, I taught you how to smoke that day!” He smiled. “Thinking back on it makes me think you shouldn’t have been hanging out with me back then, actually,” he points out.

You could only let out a small laugh. “I guess not.”

“Look, I don’t know why you decided to send this but uh. I feel like I should tell you that Sam and I are like. Together.”

They were? “Oh. Right! Duh. Obviously. I knew that.” You most definitely did not know that. “I don’t know how this got out, really. I never meant for you to actually see this.”

“Look, we can still be friends. You’re pretty cool. Even with… you know…” he motioned vaguely, “the whole Cobra Kai thing”

“Okay! Yeah, definitely.” He was only being polite, because that’s how he is. But this was much better than having him think you were trying to get with him. You let out a nervous laugh. “I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah.”

Jesus fuck.

[. . .]

You looked everywhere. Everywhere. The stupid fucking blue box just wasn't anywhere. You tried asking your mom about it, but her answer was short and simple: It probably went with the Goodwill box you’d made last week.

How, you couldn’t figure out, but it seemed to be the only slightly plausible possibility.

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. That meant there were five people out there total, five people you still saw every single day, who you were friends with, who had received a fucking love letter with your name signed all pretty on it.

This was hell, it had to be.

You were sure of it when you heard a knock on your front door, accompanied by Miguel’s voice calling your name.

Shit, shit, shit, you were not ready to have this conversation. Why did he have to be your next door neighbor on top of everything? It had always been convenient to live so close to each other, but right now it seemed everything but.

So you did what any sane, responsible person would do: you got out by the kitchen window. Naturally.

Miguel would think you just weren't home.

Again, very mature and totally normal and over it of you.

You decided someone would probably be at the dojo and the last thing you wanted right now was to accidentally encounter someone else who had a letter by surprise. You figured it was too early for someone to be at the diner nearby, so there you went.

You ordered yourself a milkshake and tried to reason with yourself. You couldn't avoid Miguel forever. He’s obviously find a way to talk to you at some point. And then what would you do? Admit you were in love with him even though to him you were just best friends? Let him tell Sam you were in love with her (well, at-the-time) boyfriend? Get politely rejected by him and go around pretending being pitied by him for not being corresponded wasn’t pathetic? It all seemed to come down to terrible endings.

You were so lost in thought you didn't notice him sit beside you at the counter until he spoke up, ordering some fries.

Oh, shit.

Hawk.

“What are you doing here?” You asked him, annoyed.

“Went by your place. Miguel said you weren't there. Things felt preetty awkward I’ll be honest with you. But you weren't at the dojo either so I thought I’d find you here.”

“Okay. And why did you wanna find me, exactly?”

“Look I just wanna make it double clear that nothing’s gonna happen between us. Nada.”

“Eli Moskowitz I am not trying to date you.”

He seemed to cringe at his own given name, but didn’t complain out loud about it. “Then why would you write me a love letter?”

“It was in 7th grade!”

“No, you talk about me as Hawk though.”

“Last year! Right when you did… that,” you motioned vaguely to his mohawk.

“Okay I hear you but like. Your mouth is saying one thing… but then your mouth said… something… else. To my mouth. Directly.”

“What? Ew!”

“You jumped me!”

“I was panicking! And I’m like, actually sorry.”

“Then why’d you do it?”

You let out a sigh, defeated. “Miguel was walking over.”

“And?”

“And he also got one of those,” you motioned with your head at the letter in Hawk’s hand, “and I cannot deal with that right now.”

His expression shifted. “Wait, I’m not the only one who got a letter?”

“No.”

“Huh. You really think you’re special.”

“Are you not, like, surprised about Miguel?”

“Oh, no, it was pretty obvious. But damn you get a love letter and think you’re the man but then you find out she wrote to another guy too?”

“Oh there’s six of them, so don’t go feeling too special.”

“Six of them?”

You then realize you’d spoken too much. He doesn’t need to know all of this. “Nevermind.”

“Damn y/n, fuck yeah, you're a player! Who were they for?”

“No one! It’s none of your business.”

“Come on, I deserve to know! You did kinda jump me in front of a bunch of people.”

“It doesn’t matter!”

“I mean I wouldn't- I wouldn't want people to find out you think my scar looks hot. Or that when you look at me you think about ‘kissing the annoying smirk off my lips’- I mean who knows what guarantees you don’t have a tattoo of my face on your ass-”

That was embarrassing enough. “Okay shut up! Shut up. Fine, if you wanna know so bad. So two for you. Then uh. Demetri, in-”

“You had a crush on Demetri?”

You kept on. “Then Robby Keene, on freshman year.”

“What, do you have a thing for LaRusso’s boyfriends or…?”

“How did you know they were together? I didn’t know!”

He just shrugged, and you continued. “And then there was uh-” you glanced at him and back to your milkshake. “Moon, after she uh. Started dating you, and hanging out with us.”

He let out a snort. “Right.”

“Sorry. I uh- I know she broke up with you-”

“What, are you gonna make a move on her? Is this what you have a thing for, crushing on your friends’ partners?”

“No. And you asked me about it!”

He looked sorry. He didn’t say it. He sighed. “Fine. Is that everyone?”

“With Miguel, yeah, that’s everyone.”

“Okay. I was the only one to get two letters though.”

You rolled your eyes at the comment. Of course he’d make this be about feeding his ego. The two of you finished your food in an awkward silence before he spoke up again. “Did you walk here?”

“Yeah.”

“You want a ride?”

“You don’t have to.”

“It’s fine.”

“Okay.” After paying, you walked outside, getting on his motorbike. He surrendered his only helmet to you.

Holding onto his waist the whole time after all this was definitely weird but you didn’t let yourself think about it too much, instead thinking about a bigger issue: you really, really hoped Miguel wouldn’t be there when you got home. You got to the parking lot, getting off the bike, taking off the blue helmet and handing it back to him. “How do you even put this on with your hair?” You questioned.

He laughed. “I just like. Push it back.”

“But how does it not ruin it?”

He shrugged. “Power of the Hawk.” He smirked, full of himself.

“Oh, come on. I bet you walk around with a little bottle of hair gel so you can fix it when you take it off.”

“Magician never reveals his secrets-” he looked off at something behind you that caught his attention. You furrowed your eyebrows together in confusion, turning around to see what it was.

Miguel. He hadn't noticed your presence yet, but there was no way he wasn’t going to.

What do you do now? You felt paralyzed.

Hawk seemed to think of something before you could. He placed his helmet on the handle of the bike, very obviously making sure to make noise with it to attract attention, and leaned in, pulling you into a kiss. A… rather passionate one.

He pulled away, wordlessly leading you in the direction of your front door. You got the hint, walking to your place without turning around, and unlocking the door. He pushed you in and closed the door behind him with his foot, loudly. You stayed like that, with him leaning on the door and your bodies flushed together, in silence, trying to listen if Miguel was walking towards your door or not. After a couple seconds, you figured he was not, and you pulled away from him.

“Sorry,” he looked at the floor, sheepish. An usual sight for the new him. “First thing that came to mind.”

“Why is jumping each other the first thing that we think of when we panic?” You laughed.

Hawk laughed along, more at ease knowing you weren’t mad at him. “You did it first.”

You sat down on your couch, but he stayed standing. “Sorry to pull you into this. And thank you for helping out just now. Think I’ll just pity myself ‘till I sleep and then die of embarrassment tomorrow when I see him or something. You can go if you want.”

“Yeah, I think I’ll- yeah.” He started walking to the door, but stopped midway, turning around to face you again. “Hey what if-” he tried to find the words to explain his idea- “um- he probably thinks we’re dating right? Or at least hooking up, or something. I mean, after all the kissing… and stuff.”

“Shit. Yeah. I’ll clear things up, sorry-”

“No! What if- what if we let him?”

“What… do you mean?”

“What if we let him think we’re dating? And not just him. Everyone else too.”

“Why would we do that?”

“So he won’t think you're in love with him!”

“I’ll rephrase it then. Why would you do that?”

“I mean you know- you know I’m still really into Moon. Maybe we could make her… want what she can’t get?”

“You think that would work? On Moon?”

He just shrugged. “Maybe.”

“So you’re suggesting we fake-date.”

“I guess.”

“Have you never seen a movie with a fake dating trope? Doesn't end well.”

“What, you think you’ll catch feelings?” He opened his signature grin, and you sighed, annoyed.

“I’m just saying it’s probably gonna blow up on our face eventually.”

“Why? We can just pretend to date for like a couple weeks. And then we break up or whatever.”

“I’m not-” This could not be a good idea. Could it? “Look I’ll- I’ll think about it. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

“Sure.”

[. . .]

Miguel, Miguel, Miguel. Miguel seemed to be what occupied your thoughts the most. No matter how absurd the amount of drama you were going through was, your thoughts always came back to him.

But the night after the letters got out… it wasn't like that. Eli Moskowitz- well, Hawk, hadn’t been in your head all that much ever since you got over the last crush you had on him a couple years ago. But now Miguel wasn't the only thing in your head anymore, weird of a way as everything else had come into your thoughts.

So you decided.

A/N: in all honesty im only rewriting this because im in a bit of a slum and i almost deleted this off of my ao3 bc of how terribly written the original chapters are lol so idk here’s something someone might like i guess. I won’t be in any rush to post the chapters of this whatsoever, scandalous is 100% my priority this is just for some piece of mind bc I know I’m better than the shitty writing in the original version of this lol

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rubyuji · 5 months ago

Text

Fragments (Mingyu, Seungcheol) ˙ ✩°˖🫐 ⋆｡˚

“You know since we are just a few minutes away from landing, did I ever get the chance to thank you for being a huge blessing in my life?” 𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🎐

Genre: Slight angst, fluff, romance

AU: University!au, Coming of Age!au

Pairing(s): (Short) Wonwoo x Afab!reader, Seungcheol x Afab!reader, Mingyu x Afab!reader (Reader is Jeonghan’s little sister)

Warnings: Cheol is toxic, nonchalant and doesn’t care for their relationship, a kiss scene (how shocking)

Synopsis: Growing up with someone you love isn’t easy, well at least for Seungcheol, he never expected to be a life-altering heartbreak for you either, and while he did wish for a second chance, that plan had only backfired on him when he received an invite to your engagement party with Mingyu.

Note: I’m finally done with the long awaited fic! I kept pausing and got busy in between, but overall I’d say that I’m satisfied with it. Thank you all for waiting and I hope you like it! Don’t forget to like + reblog as always to help support me and other writers, happy reading!

WC: 12k (exceeded my estimate omg)

Taglist: @nerdycheol @notevenheretbh1 (Thank you guys so much!)

Seungcheol remembered the first time he saw you. It was at his friend Jeonghan’s house, your nose crinkled adorably as you read some cheesy romance novel at sixteen on the cream sofa in the living room.

He had wanted to say something, but all he could do was smile as Jeonghan introduced him to your parents. Since then, he has been practically your family’s newest son besides Joshua, their other best friend.

When Seungcheol had received his fair share of confessions from girls all over the school in his senior year, he had always declined them politely because he was just never interested in any of them, except this time, it was different ever since the day Jeonghan had introduced you to him.

In moments wherein he would receive a confession from someone, he would see you walk by and forget the girl even existed, opting to call out your name instead and jog after you.

He would even walk you to your class or visit you in your classroom, using the ‘protective brother’s friend’ excuse, when in reality, he was only scoping out the potential guys who were interested in you in your class.

“Dude, do you like my sister? You look like a lost puppy following her around,” Jeonghan chuckles. Seungcheol raises his brow at his friend and turns to Joshua, who just shrugs as he agrees with Jeonghan.

“You hang around Y/n so much that there’s already rumors being spread of her being your crush or girlfriend,” Joshua says flatly.

“Guys, I’m just looking out for her, you know we all care about her like a little sister. Come on, I’m just a lot more proactive than Jeonghan” Seungcheol whined.

It was half true, he did want to look out for you because he cared, but also because he wanted to ward off any of the guys who were admiring you.

“You act like I leave her for dead, people probably think she’s your little sister instead of mine,” Jeonghan says, bored.

“Oh by the way, I honestly can’t believe she’s seeing this guy in the other class, his name was Jeon Wonwoo or something? He asked her out on Valentine’s Day,” Seungcheol whipped his head around and stared at Jeonghan, who was way too engrossed in his laptop even to notice the way Seungcheol’s brows furrowed.

Seungcheol felt his heart clench, no wonder you were starting to decline his invitation to walk home with him, Joshua, and your brother.

You had even started distancing yourself from them. It wasn’t that noticeable at first, but you were definitely around them less, opting to spend more time with a certain boy that he had seen with you way too often.

“So he’s buying her snacks and getting her flowers every morning? That’s crazy to me. I mean, Y/n is still so young, how are you letting this slide?” Seungcheol whined.

Looking back, he remembers you walking around hand in hand with a tall guy who had glasses on, and you were always smiling at whatever the guy said to you.

As Joshua was about to get another word out about how Seungcheol was probably going to cry about you growing up and becoming your own person with an identity, you suddenly walked into the living room and plopped onto the seat beside Jeonghan. Your brother scoffed and rolled his eyes as you accidentally knocked the laptop from his lap.

“I heard my name? Are you guys gossiping about me?” You say playfully.

Seungcheol felt his ears warm up at the sound of your voice, despite you being a mini version of Jeonghan, he still couldn’t help but fall for you as a person because of how charming you were.

“Yeah, I told them about the boy you’re seeing in the year above yours. Is he your boyfriend or is he just a crush?” Jeonghan runs a hand through your hair and you hum with a smile on your face.

“He’s my boyfriend, a super sweet guy. I never expected him to ask me out or even feel the same way, but I like him,” Seungcheol could hear the love practically dripping from your voice, and he wanted the green-eyed monster to simply swallow him whole.

“You’re so gross if he hurts you, we’ll be after his head. Please tell him as a reminder,” Jeonghan then flicks your forehead and you whine.

Seungcheol could never get tired of seeing the way you and Jeonghan interacted, the way you reacted cutely, and how your nose scrunched in the most adorable way possible.

Turns out, Jeonghan’s promise was going to come around way sooner than any of you would’ve thought.

As Seungcheol was there for your first boyfriend, he also ended up being there during your first heartbreak.

He clearly remembers the day you shuffled over to your older brother quietly and held onto his arm for support, Jeonghan opting to pull you close to his side instead. Your eyes were soaked with tears, the guys looking at you worriedly on the way home.

“We’ll head in, I gotta take care of the little one first. You guys go ahead,” Seungcheol and Joshua nodded, still worried about your current state, but decided to leave your actual older brother to it because he knew what to do.

That night, Jeonghan texted their group chat about how Wonwoo had broken up with you that day.

Some bullshit excuse like you guys weren’t meant to be, when in reality, Wonwoo had been seeing a different girl behind your back and didn’t know how to tell you that he fell out of love, something Seungcheol couldn’t fathom.

How could someone fall out of love with you? You had so much to offer and you had so much love to give.

Seungcheol cursed the kid out in his head and texted that he would deal with him, but before he could do anything stupid, Joshua had to talk him out of it.

He knew it was a bad idea to even confront Wonwoo for breaking your heart, but he couldn’t help it, not when he couldn’t stand the look of hurt that graced your pretty face, the way tears welled up in your big doe eyes.

But, Seungcheol also considered the fact that you wouldn't like it if he got into a fight either.

Your first heartbreak felt like a blur after a few years, and Seungcheol had found himself watching from the sidelines again as you grew up to be such an independent and self-assured young woman. However, he could’ve never expected to become the face of your second biggest heartbreak.

Seungcheol, Jeonghan, and Joshua were now in their third year of college, and you had just entered as a freshman.

With him and Jeonghan studying business management and Joshua taking the psychology route, you were now added to their little family as well, this time majoring in fashion design.

“Are you guys proud of me? I’m finally an adult! Can’t wait to rot away for the next three to four years while you guys only have a year left again,” You joked as you settled on the seat beside Joshua.

Jeonghan had offered you a place to live that was in the same building, and it was pretty affordable, while still being near campus. Seungcheol thanked whatever deity was up there for giving you the opportunity.

Though you guys weren’t apart for that long, albeit the guys visiting you during every break since they started living away from your hometown, it still felt like something was missing during their time in college.

You felt the same admittedly enough, and even though you enjoyed the solace that came with the silence of not having to have the guys around with their constant bickering and yelling, you couldn’t help but miss them dearly.

So, when your brother offered up an apartment in the same building as theirs, once you got accepted into the same school, you took it immediately.

“Hey, we’ll still live here until we get stable jobs after graduating, baby. You don’t have to sulk, you won’t be lonely and we’ll make sure of it,” Seungcheol chuckled.

You felt your heart beat faster at the sound of his voice, you’ve seen Seungcheol ever since you guys were teenagers, but you had to admit, college and becoming an adult was catching up to him.

Seungcheol looked broad, and it was the result of continuously working out and his efforts to maintain his body and health, but he also carried a different air around him, one that made you feel choked up and so small around him.

You held back from developing feelings for Seungcheol though, as he was your brother’s best friend. It was strictly sibling code, but Jeonghan didn’t seem to care if you dated any of his friends for that matter.

“I’ll take it,” You smile at Seungcheol.

You couldn’t help the fluttering you felt in your chest, but you also weighed your feelings for the man.

Seungcheol was handsome, and he had a charming personality to match, but would he date you? He most likely saw you as a little sister above all else, and he was Jeonghan’s best friend, your brother would never let you live it down.

You were so wrong though because not even a month after you had moved in, Seungcheol had asked you out on a date.

You were pleasantly surprised, not expecting him to ever look your way at all, but here you were as the man handed you a small bouquet, pink dusting his cheeks as he waited for your answer.

“Yes Cheol, I’ll go out with you,” Seungcheol’s eyes lit up as he picked you up and spun you around out of excitement.

You laughed once he put you down, and on the way home, he couldn’t help but announce it to both of his roommates. Jeonghan raised a brow at you, and you shrugged shyly under your brother’s gaze.

One date with Seungcheol turned into two, then three, until you finally agreed to be his girlfriend. Things got serious quickly between the two of you, given how long you’ve known each other, and Jeonghan and Joshua couldn’t help but laugh at their friend who was finally experiencing a relationship for the first time.

You were both acting like lovesick fools whenever you visited the apartment and within a year, your relationship had progressed into something deeper.

Seungcheol opted to move over into your apartment on the floor above, and you both even decided to adopt a puppy and name her Kkuma.

Life couldn’t have been better, especially when Seunghcheol took great care of you in all ways.

“Hi baby, I picked up some things at the store that we were running out of. How was your day?” Seungcheol kissed your cheek as he placed the groceries on the kitchen island.

You were currently cooking dinner for the two of you, and you turned gratefully toward your boyfriend. He is the most perfect partner you could ever ask for.

Communication with Seungcheol was easy, loving him was easy, and being with him was easy, but it was as if he had become an entirely different person once you were about to reach the two-year mark of your relationship.

Seungcheol started becoming more closed off, he spent more time at his new job, and he started lashing out at you, causing huge blowup fights between you both, resulting in you having to sleep at Jeonghan and Joshua’s place more often than not.

“I don’t understand what’s gotten into him, you know he seems fine at work, but now he’s raising his voice at you? Y/n, we know Seungcheol is our best friend, but his actions are already harming you, don’t you think it’s better to break up?” Jeonghan looked like he was pleading with you.

Your older brother knew better than anyone, and you bit your lip softly. Even Joshua and Jeonghan had started to notice the change, it was how Seungcheol even refused to spare you a glance at parties, or how he had started to leave you alone more often, even during his day off.

What ticked Jeonghan off though, was the fact that Seungcheol had already raised his voice at you in front of them multiple times.

He couldn’t stand to see his baby sister being taken for granted by someone who once cared about her so much, he wondered what on earth happened to the Seungcheol who vowed to take care of you.

The one who always doted on you and scolded Jeonghan for leaving you alone when you needed him.

“Hey, take it easy on her. Two years is a long time Han, so it’s not like Y/n can walk out on him instantly just like that. I have to agree with your brother though, Y/n. This isn’t healthy for you, and we’re willing to help you with whatever just to make things easier,” Joshua pulls you into his side on the sofa and you huff.

The Seungcheol you were with felt unrecognizable, and you just wished you could run away from him for once, so you decided to confide in the two about how your best friend, Mingyu, had offered to take you to Italy with him because he was going to model for a brand there, and how they loved your portfolio and wanted to take you under their wing as a senior fashion designer.

“Don’t you think it’s wiser to take the opportunity? I know you love Cheol, but Y/n, you can’t keep putting up with this. He’s only hurting you,” Joshua says softly.

You shake your head and let out a deep sigh. What would it take for you to walk away from it all? Leaving sounded tempting, yet all you could think about was how Seungcheol would feel if you left.

He could still change, but how much longer could you endure the pain he’s been putting you through?

“Look, we understand that it’s easier said than done, but you’re still so young and have the whole world to explore. Don’t chain yourself down to this relationship, Y/n. We promise to deal with Seungcheol if it makes you feel better, but for now, we think you should take the opportunity to go to Italy,” Jeonghan looks at you painfully, and the last thing you wanted to do was to hurt your brother, seeing as you being in pain was already doing just that.

“I—'ll go to Italy, but promise me that you both will take care of Cheol? I know he hasn't been the best lately, but he’ll need as much support as I do. It's been difficult, but you guys are right, I still have the world out there for me, and whatever happens with Cheol will happen. Find our way back to each other or not, I think I’m ready for a fresh start,” You declare.

Jeonghan and Joshua look at you fondly, as Seungkwan, their new roommate and one of your closest friends, walks into the room, eyes as wide as saucers.

“Wait, you’re taking Mingyu up on that offer in Italy? That’s amazing, Y/n! I’ve been waiting for Seungcheol to finally get his grip off of you so you can flourish!” You laugh awkwardly as Seungkwan crushes you in his embrace.

“Ugh, Kwannie! Mingyu said he’s supposed to leave next week, I think it’s finally time I give him the answer he’s been waiting for. Are you coming with?” You pout at Seungkwan. Your friend nods and gives you a wide grin.

“I’m coming along so I can get used to the environment, I can’t leave these two just yet you know? Besides, I’ll go tell my sister once I’m ready and I’ll be there with you both ok? Now come on, let’s head upstairs, I’ll help you pack!” Seungkwan pushes you out the door and you bid your brother and Joshua goodbye, promising to call them later.

You were happy you had Seungkwan to keep you company while packing your things, he kept your mind at bay knowing you still had to talk to Seungcheol about everything that was happening.

You couldn't just get up and leave without an explanation, it just wasn't who you were, and you felt like it would’ve been unfair for your boyfriend.

Once you finally zipped up your last suitcase of personal belongings, you didn't have much, to begin with, and Seungkwan lugged the rest of your bags down to their apartment, you heard the door open. ‘He’s home,’ you thought to yourself.

You walk out of your room and see Seungcheol walk into the apartment, his body language seeming a bit more apprehensive than usual, but you know you have to say something.

You were already leaving for Italy the next week, and this was probably going to be the last time you’d be seeing Seungcheol in a while.

“Cheol? Can we talk, please?” Your voice was timid, almost coming out as a squeak if Seungcheol didn’t listen hard enough. He turns to look at you, his gaze suddenly soft but still somehow holding anger.

“Can you make it quick? I still have something to do so I won’t be in the house for long, you don’t have to wait for me,” Seungcheol huffed.

Your heart broke at how you could barely even recognize the person in front of you.

This wasn't the same Seungcheol who constantly doted on you while growing up. The Seungcheol who was too scared to even raise his voice at you, knowing you hated it when people yelled at you.

How did his, “Hey angel, don’t wait up for me and get some rest, you had a long day,” turn into cold scoffs and constant eye rolls? Was he tired of you?

You finally gather enough courage to speak up about everything you’ve held back from him the past few weeks.

This wasn’t your Seungcheol anymore, this man was a stranger in your apartment, he was a stranger you once knew, a stranger whom you’ve loved with your whole heart, only for him to throw it all away. You finally had enough, it was time for you to choose yourself for once.

“You know what? Fine, I will. To sum it all up, I’m leaving you Seungcheol, this isn’t gonna be the same as some silly little sleepover at Joshua and Jeonghan’s. I’m leaving, I’ve had enough of dealing with your outbursts and I barely recognize you anymore. I’m sorry I had to end it like this, but I’m choosing myself this time,” a stray tear makes its way down your face and you hold in the urge to sob.

This was for your own good, and if leaving Seungcheol and bearing the pain was what it took, so be it.

You knew it would be hard to move on, but you also knew that making a choice for yourself and choosing yourself for your peace was what you needed right now.

“I’m letting go, maybe we aren’t meant to be, or we’ll find our way back, but I can’t promise anything. I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me anything else because I leave next week. I have everything packed, and you can talk to my brother and Joshua about living arrangements, I’ll still pay the lease until the end of the month,” You choke out.

Your nose was starting to get stuffy and your vision started to blur, you couldn’t even look at Seungcheol as you told him everything.

“Y/n, please, don’t leave. I’m sorry, just give me time to fix everything, I know I fucked up. Why did you decide to drop all of this on me now? I– I can’t, Y/n, please,” Seungcheol was pleading with you.

You knew it was unfair, but after countless months of giving in to Seungcheol and settling with being the same understanding girlfriend you are, you couldn’t help it.

“I’m sorry, I can’t let you fix everything when you’re too late. I’ve given you countless chances to finally pull yourself together, even going as far as to leave you alone because I know how much you hate being bothered when you’re stressed, and this is what I get in return. I’ve been too understanding towards you that it’s starting to affect me, please, just let me have it this once Seungcheol,” You were now the one pleading as tears cascaded down your face like a waterfall.

Seungcheol’s heart ached as he looked at you. You were such a self-assured, independent, and strong young woman, he knew that since the moment he met you.

Jeonghan made sure you grew up not needing a man to take care of you but also made sure you still left a part of yourself where you allowed someone to take care of you once you felt vulnerable enough.

This wasn’t the same woman he had fallen in love with, instead, what Seungcheol saw in front of him was the same girl who had her heart crushed by a stupid teenage boy back in high school.

You looked so broken, so frail, as you tried to shield yourself away from him. Seungcheol couldn’t help but feel as if the world was closing in on him, had he been too neglectful the past few months?

Did he let his emotions get the best of him when he had promised you that he would keep a level head around you? Hell, he even promised your brother he would never hurt you, and look where it got him.

Seungcheol couldn’t even get another word out before you left the apartment, leaving him in the silence of a home that was once filled with the warmth of the love you had once before.

Ten minutes had passed and Seungcheol still couldn't believe that you had walked out on him, had he been too lax of a boyfriend already?

He knew he fucked up and he had been wanting to fix things between you both, but it ultimately ended in failure the moment you walked out of that apartment.

You hold the handle of your carry-on bag as Mingyu checks you both in while you are still taking in the atmosphere of the entire airport.

It felt surreal, a week ago you were in the apartment you once shared with Seungcheol, everything you withheld from him boiling over, and now you’re at the airport with one of your best friends in the entire world, ready to go to Italy and start life over.

“Hey, I got our boarding passes, let's head in and get past security so we don't have to deal with the hassle later. Also, you look tense, lighten up a bit, you need this reset,” Mingyu smiles at you gently while handing you your passport.

You nod and let out a breath, Mingyu was right, your life had been stagnant for too long, and this was something you deserved.

“Thanks, Gyu, for everything. You’ve been nothing but kind to me, I seriously feel like I’m indebted to you,” You joke, and Mingyu lets out a scoff.

“No need to thank me, you’re the most amazing fashion designer I know, and with the company liking your portfolio and telling me that they would like to take you under their wing immediately, you should give yourself more credit where it’s due. This was all from your hard work, Y/n,” Mingyu shakes his head and you both go through security while lugging your bags through the scanners.

After going through security, you and Mingyu bought food and chatted at the boarding gate happily while waiting for your flight to board.

“I’m glad you took the opportunity, I was starting to think you’d be stuck here forever, forced to live a boring life with Seungcheol. No offense, of course, it's just that you’re way too talented to not show your colors to the entire world,” Mingyu flushes and you grin at him sheepishly.

You met Mingyu through Minghao, who introduced you to the man because he knew you needed a male model because you ran out of options for your menswear class.

“Look, I know you love your brother and all, but this is our last final for the year, Y/n! Think about it, you already had Joshua model for the midterm, and Jeonghan modeled for us during the first semester’s finals, and our second-semester midterms.” Minghao gave you a pointed look knowing you had to do this for your sake.

You were too familiar with your brother and Joshua’s builds, and despite getting near-perfect scores on your projects, you still wanted to try something that was out of your comfort zone. Minghao then snaps his fingers and you look at him in confusion.

“I have this friend, you remember Mingyu right? He was my model during the first round of midterms last semester. I think it would be great if you practiced with him since you aren't used to taller and broader builds,” You raise your brows at Minghao’s proposition.

“I mean, you’re right about that. Give me his contact, and I’ll shoot him a message,” You smiled softly. Minghao handed you his phone with Mingyu’s contact as you input it into your phone.

You met Mingyu once for his measurements, saw his sweet smile once, heard him speak in his soft voice, and the rest was history.

Mingyu had turned into your rock, your other cheerleader who was there whenever your boyfriend wasn't. Now, you’re traveling the world with your best friend who is everything you could ever ask for.

“I appreciate the sentiment Gyu, I couldn't have gotten here without you being by my side. I guess I thought I was destined to just, you know, wait until I get offered a boring job at some corporate office that has nothing to do with my degree, then live with Seungcheol until God knows how long,” You laugh softly, looking back at what you had thought would be the rest of your life, but change is inevitable and it was time you accept it.

“Of course, you know I’ll always be by your side. It's my job to take care of you as your best friend, even if you insist that you’re completely fine on your own.” Mingyu pouts.

You laugh at Mingyu and heave a sigh of relief. You finally felt free after all these months.

From being too depressed to get out of the apartment, declining every invitation from your friends, to moving to Italy with both of your best friends and starting life over from scratch.

Your brother and your friends were right, even if you did love Seungcheol, some people just aren't meant to be in our lives for so long once they impact you negatively.

“Oh, by the way, did Seungkwan send you his flight details? I swear, he has do-not-disturb mode on more, these days,” You laugh as you come across a picture of you, Seungkwan, and Mingyu on your last trip to Jeju during Seungkwan’s birthday.

Mingyu hummed and nodded, showing you a screenshot that Seungkwan had sent to him.

“His flight is still later tonight, so he’ll probably arrive the day after us or like at night? I don’t know, time zones are weird,” Mingyu gave up trying to understand time zones and you laughed again at how cute your best friend was.

“I’m sure Seungkwan will call us once he’s there, so we don’t need to worry much. What we need to worry about though, is where we’re going to be staying once we get there first,” You laugh.

Mingyu shows you an email on his phone from the company, it said you were going to be provided with housing since Mingyu was a model, and you were a senior fashion designer.

“What? They’re going to provide us with housing? That’s crazy,” Your mouth gaped like a fish and Mingyu laughed at you.

“I know, that’s why I chose this company over every other one. The others only ever put your portfolio and resume aside, while the one we’re being hired to right now provided us both with opportunities. I thought it was only fair to bring you along since I did get scouted by big shots after uploading myself modeling in your pieces,” Mingyu smiled softly, his tone laced with gratitude towards you.

You wave off Mingyu’s remark dismissively. “You worked hard you know? I think my clothes were only a little bit of help when it came to your actual scouting, I think you should give yourself more credit,” You reply.

After an hour of talking, you and Mingyu were finally headed into your seats on the plane. Suddenly, everything felt so surreal as Mingyu lugged your carry-ons into the overhead bins.

“I can’t believe we’re moving to Italy, never in my life would I ever imagine hopping on a plane headed to work in Europe of all places,” You say to Mingyu, who is settled on the seat beside you.

“I think you should finally start believing it because you still might feel as though you’re dreaming the moment we land,” Mingyu chuckles and leans his head on yours, an action that makes you feel warm inside.

It felt nice having Mingyu around, he was healing a part of you that wished it was Cheol doing all this, but you knew better than to think of your ex right now because you were on the path of moving on from everything he put you through.

The flight was a breeze, and thankfully nobody was in the seat beside Mingyu, because he could easily slip into the restroom at any time, a luxury he didn’t usually have if he was placed in a window or middle seat on the plane.

“You know since we are just a few minutes away from landing, did I ever get the chance to thank you for being a huge blessing in my life?” You laugh as the plane is making its final descent.

“I knew you needed this opportunity because I saw how badly he was treating you, I had to give you this much because you deserve way better,” Mingyu replies gently.

Your heart blooms and you grip his hand, you are ready to move forward, and you know you have the right people by your side.

“Seungkwan, can you go pick up groceries at the Korean supermarket across the street? It’s your turn since you are mooching off me and Mingyu until you move in with Vernon,” You jokingly call out to your friend.

Seungkwan grumbles and you laugh before turning to him from the kitchen. “Yeah, don’t worry, I already know whatever is on the list before you need to tell me, I’ll be back in like twenty minutes,” he tells you on his way out the door.

It had been a few months since you had arrived in Italy with Mingyu and Seungkwan, and you all had settled into the country quite easily.

Starting work was a breeze because the company was very accommodating and everyone was friendly, and you found yourself moving on faster than you expected.

“Seungkwan’s finally moving in with Vernon huh? I can’t believe it’s already been a while since we got here. Now tell me, when are you going to give in to me?” Mingyu jokes as he wraps his strong arms around your waist.

You were no stranger to skinship with your best friend, but the veil between friendship and romance was starting to wear thin after moving in together after a few months.

Mingyu was just a stark contrast from who Seungcheol was, and you were starting to give in to him despite your fears of commitment.

It didn’t help that your best friend was just as hopeless a romantic as you are, so Mingyu naturally took his time with you. It was something you were immensely grateful for because he fully understood that you probably weren’t even ready to pursue another relationship.

See, Mingyu was naturally a soft-spoken man. During the entirety of friendship not once had he raised his voice at you, or anyone for that matter, even when he was angry or agitated.

Mingyu rarely blew up on people. You used to fear being yelled at because with Seungcheol, it was inevitable, and it only planted a fear of everyone raising their voice at you the moment Seungcheol had let go of all his reserve during a fight.

Even if Mingyu did raise his voice from across the apartment, he made sure it was at a reasonable volume that didn’t scare you, and on the rare occasion that you both would get into a fight, Mingyu would only communicate his feelings towards you in a calm tone.

Mingyu was also just full of love, he was always so considerate towards everyone around him. He made sure you and Seungkwan knew how grateful he was to have you both by his side because this was a big step for all of you.

The nights when the three of you would drink together, and Mingyu would pour out his gratitude towards you both, about how he felt so happy that the universe had given him some of the most amazing best friends in the entire world (also yapping about how much he missed Wonwoo, his old roommate, but that was for another time).

It was just a huge plus that Mingyu also willingly helped around the house, naturally because you knew it was in your best friend’s upbringing to keep the house in proper shape.

Even cooking with Mingyu was an experience because you both enjoy sharing recipes and want to try them out together, which meant Seungkwan was treated to a delicious meal every time you and Mingyu would find a new dish to try out.

Mingyu made you experience new things that you couldn’t when it came to your ex, and slowly, the feelings between you both unfolded.

Seungkwan couldn’t deny it to you either that you and Mingyu would make a great married couple, you both were pretty tame and low maintenance, something that was rare to find these days.

“I know you’re not ready to start a relationship or deal with feelings right now after everything you’ve been through with your ex, but trust me when I say this, Mingyu is the one you should marry. You both look so perfect together, and it’s a plus that he already likes you,” Seungkwan whined, and you laughed as he threw your other best friend under the bus.

Mingyu was out for an event with Minghao that night, and he wanted to bring you along but he also knew you hated huge events or loud places, so he opted to leave you at home with Seungkwan, promising to come back at a reasonable hour and to not drink so much.

It was a small action but it was something you felt grateful for, it showed that Mingyu still thought of you while having fun and living his life.

“I’ve never thought about dating Mingyu, let alone marrying him but, I mean, he’s not that bad. I’m already way past my ex anyway, so you’re right on that. Don’t throw Mingyu under the bus like that ever again though,” You giggle. Seungkwan clicks his tongue and sips from his wine.

“I wish you met Mingyu before Seungcheol or something, you two make each other so happy and you guys don’t leave me out at all. I love you and Mingyu so much despite everything we’ve been through,” Seungkwan smiles softly and holds your hand.

Moving to Europe definitely wasn’t an easy decision for the three of you, but you all found comfort in each other and got through hurdles together.

There were fights, and misunderstandings, one time you even walked out on them, but you all knew that at the end of the day, you all had each other no matter what.

Seungkwan’s words from that night echoed in your head as you snapped back to reality, Mingyu’s arms still wrapped around you with a soft grin on his face.

You wish you had met Mingyu before it all, maybe then you would’ve narrowly avoided one of your most life-altering heartaches, but now you were ready to move forward with Mingyu.

“What if I told you that you already had all of me?” You didn’t stop for a second and kissed Mingyu, who froze for a second, but immediately melted into the kiss.

You weren’t afraid to love anymore. Mingyu was all the proof you needed, knowing you deserve a second chance after everything.

When you both pulled away, Mingyu’s cheeks were dusted pink, his signature smile with his canines tugging at his lips.

“You don’t understand how long I’ve been waiting for you to do that,” he breathed out cheekily, chasing your lips for more.

“You’re so annoying, you know that right?” You laugh and pull Mingyu in for another kiss, this time with your arms around his neck.

Suddenly, you both hear a crash by the doorway and hear plastic bags falling, only to find Seungkwan with his mouth agape and eyes as wide as saucers.

“I was out for twenty minutes, what the hell happened,” Seungkwan choked out.

It’s been years since Seungcheol had heard from you, and he was still a mess, except he was finally starting to get back up on his feet to help himself.

About a month after you had left, he had moved back in with Joshua and Jeonghan, and he didn’t understand why they still welcomed him with open arms, let alone Jeonghan of all people.

You were his younger sister, and he hurt you, shouldn’t he be cursing him out and telling him to go to hell?

“If you’re wondering why you seem like in our good graces, Y/n told us to take care of you until you’re back on your feet. You’re still our childhood friend Cheol, and even if we don’t tolerate what you did to Y/n, she told us to make sure that you weren’t going to do anything stupid. You need as much support as her, and who are we to deny when we care about you both?” Jeonghan says firmly.

Seungcheol felt his heart clench, even after he hurt you, you still cared enough to tell his two best friends to care for him.

You were an angel, and he took you for granted. You even went as far as to tell them that it was okay for him to move back in with them (granted Seungcheol also did twice as much housework compared to Jeonghan and Joshua because of how guilty he felt).

Now, three years had passed since you had moved to Italy, and you usually visited during the holidays, but Seungcheol was never around because it pained him too much to see you.

He had eventually gathered up the courage to try to move on, and while he is stable in his career as a form of distraction, he still had feelings for you deep in his heart.

You were his first love, and it wasn’t going to change any time soon because he wanted you forever.

Every day he wished he wasn’t immature enough to push you away, he silently prayed to every God above for him to give your relationship another shot.

Seungcheol was a changed man now, and he was willing to do everything in his power to be with you.

Seungcheol was hopeful, until he wasn’t, especially when Jeonghan had dropped the bomb that you had invited them to your engagement party in Jeju island.

“This has to be a joke, right?” Seungcheol could only laugh at how ridiculous it all seemed.

Were you engaged? It had only been a few years since you moved to Italy, he was sure you wouldn’t have found a boyfriend in that period, let alone a fiancée.

“Nope, you’re hearing it correctly. Y/n’s been bringing home her boyfriend, well I guess fiancée now, for three years already. I understand that it’s been rough ever since we started living separately, you wouldn’t visit as much as Josh whenever she was around, understandably so, but she’s moved on and he makes her happy,” Jeonghan sipped from his mug, and shrugged, making Seungcheol’s brows knit.

“I know exposure therapy isn’t the way to go, but Y/n means a lot to us despite everything, you know that. You can get the closure you need and you can finally move on, Cheol,” Jeonghan continued before putting his cup down on the desk, this was his second cup of coffee, he had to stop at some point.

Seungcheol was in an internal debate with himself, he realized that while he did need closure, was it worth all the pain of seeing you again?

He knew he had to, it was what he needed before he could fully move on, but something in him was still hanging on to what could’ve been between you both.

“I’ll go, maybe it is time. I’ll consider it,” Seungcheol slumps in his chair and stares outside the window of his office.

All the time he had spent building his company from the ground up so he could prove himself worthy once you came back, only for you to be engaged with someone else.

“You don’t have to force yourself though, just take it easy. Y/n will understand, you know she always does,” Jeonghan walks up to Seungcheol and leans by his desk, staring at the same city skyline in front of them.

Seungcheol’s hard work was undeniable, and it was all because of the effort he put in to forget you, but he just couldn’t, Seungcheol knew he needed proper closure instead to fully move on from your past.

“I’ll be fine Han, I can handle myself now,” Seungcheol says as his brows knit once more, looking back at the events of the past year.

He had started his own tech company and now he’s the CEO of a huge corporation, his career is now a reflection of all his hard work and dedication, but what was the use of all that money when he couldn’t share it with someone else? That someone who he desperately wished was you.

“I know you can handle yourself Cheol, but you were a wreck when you first moved in. Me and Josh had to pester you for you to get back on your feet for fucks sake, I wouldn’t hold it against you if had second thoughts about going,” Jeonghan says softly. As much as he knew that his friend could handle himself, he couldn’t help but worry.

Since then, two weeks had passed since that conversation and your initial invitation to your brother and his best friends to your engagement party.

Jeonghan calls you excitedly as they settle on the plane to Jeju, Seungcheol lugging the bags into the overhead bins, and Joshua already taking a nap as other passengers continue to board.

“Are you certain that we already have assigned rooms? Ok, I understand. Take care Y/n! We’ll see you at the airport,” Jeonghan hangs up before turning over to Joshua and Seungcheol beside him.

“You guys are sharing a room at the resort, and I’m going to room with Seungkwan. Y/n and her fianceé will be picking us up, so no funny business,” he continued.

Seungcheol clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. He's a jealous guy and he can’t help it, but you’re no longer his girlfriend and he knew he had to behave himself.

He couldn’t wait to see who your fiancée was, and he tried to make the most of it at least because you were still someone who’s considered family to him.

The flight was short-lived and they landed in Jeju in no time. Joshua stretched as they carried their bags from the conveyor belt onto the cart, and Jeonghan had received a call from you saying you were outside waiting.

Traveling with three bachelors felt like a nightmare for Seungcheol, it wasn’t like they weren’t capable of getting girlfriends, but rather, they were too busy for the dating lifestyle.

Seungcheol wouldn’t wish for it to be anyone else though, he was just happy to have Joshua and Jeonghan around as his support systems.

“Last bag, let’s head out so we have enough time to rest before the party tomorrow. Don’t wanna go on the plane with a hangover and a fuck ton of regrets once we’re headed home, just so we can mentally prepare ourselves,” Joshua breathes out. Though this wasn’t a wedding, it sure did feel like one.

The only reason you and Mingyu had even decided to have an engagement party was because you two were going to have your main wedding in Italy with your close family members.

The party served as a gathering for distant friends and relatives to congratulate you both since you couldn’t bring everyone to Europe with you.

As they headed out of the airport, Jeonghan could spot your figure and hear you calling out to them by your rental car.

Seungcheol had also caught sight of you and felt his heart skip, you looked more radiant since the last time he had seen you, granted it was probably because three years had passed, and he just couldn’t believe it.

You looked healthier now, you were no longer frail, and your smile had reached your eyes again, the same glint of happiness in them.

Seungcheol had forgotten why they were here the second he saw you, but it was only for a moment until he saw your fiancée standing right beside you, his form towering over yours.

Seungcheol recognized who this man was, it was Kim Mingyu, your best friend since college.

“Hi, guys! It’s been so long, I missed you all so much!” You say with a smile and hug Jeonghan.

Your brother grips you tightly while laughing, he missed you just as much, if not more.

Seungcheol smiles at the scene in front of him, he had always adored your interactions with Jeonghan.

Joshua then walked over to Mingyu as the taller man helped him with the bags. So this is who you were marrying, your best friend who Seungcheol had always worried about deep down.

“Hi Cheol, how was the flight? You must be tired, Jeonghan told me you guys were up early,” You greeted him softly, a smile still gracing your features.

Seungcheol blinked in disbelief, he never expected you to be so welcoming towards him, but years have passed and he understands that you’re over it by now.

“It was alright at most, I’m honestly just excited to relax at the hotel. How’ve you been?” Seungcheol smiled.

He looks over and sees Mingyu talking to Joshua about something while helping him with their bags, still weary about him.

“I’ve been great, Italy with Seungkwan and Mingyu was one of the best decisions I could’ve ever made. I know there were some things we avoided because of our past, but I hope you know that I’ve done some reflection since then, so no hard feelings on this trip ok? I want you guys to relax,” You lead Seungcheol over to the car and he sits in the back with your brother and Joshua.

The ride to the resort was comfortable, courtesy of you and Mingyu being easy going as conversations flowed naturally.

Seungcheol gauged that you were in good hands, but his heart was still calling out for you, something he wanted to keep at a minimum. You were going to marry someone else, there was no chance left for him.

“You have always had a good eye Y/n, this resort is beautiful,” Joshua compliments.

You laugh and brush off Joshua’s comment sweetly, but it was true, you always had a good eye for things in general (except boyfriends apparently, but Mingyu be damned because he did everything in his power to win your heart).

“I’ll bring you over to Seungkwan’s room since he’s staying across from me and Mingyu. Baby, can you lead Joshua and Seungcheol over to their rooms?” You turn to Mingyu, and Seungcheol catches the way your fiancée’s gaze is full of love for you.

His heart could only clench, was it genuinely worth the pain to support you? Seungcheol secretly wished for the ground to swallow him up whole.

“Of course, remember we still have dinner with everyone later, don’t forget to tell Jeonghan the details,” Mingyu reminds you.

You nod and wave them off, dragging your brother over to a happy Seungkwan, who stands by the elevator waiting for you both.

Joshua and Mingyu had been in their own world, talking amongst themselves while Seungcheol’s focus had been on his phone the entire time.

“Hey man, how are you? Jeonghan told us you were working hard to build your company up after we left for Italy,” Mingyu says in a friendly tone.

“It’s been great, it gets pretty lonely here at the top since the breakup, but it’s nothing I can’t handle,” Seungcheol says with a smirk, finding the entire situation so ridiculous.

Joshua eyes him and chuckles to alleviate the jab that Seungcheol had taken at Mingyu, but your fiancée takes it just fine and continues the conversation calmly.

“I hope you find someone to share your success with in the near future. I understand that we all deserve to be loved by someone. It’s just that some people we hoped to end up with aren’t meant to be, and it’s not our fault,” Mingyu replies, tone still friendly and calm.

Seungcheol felt ticked off but decided to behave himself as the elevator arrived at their floor.

“Here’s the key card, as I mentioned earlier, there is a dinner we’ll be having with the rest of the guests tonight, it will be at the restaurant by the beach. You can just give mine or Y/n’s name for the reservation if they ask, I’ll see you guys later! Rest up since you guys must’ve had a long flight,” Mingyu makes his leave.

Joshua turns to Seungcheol and raises his brow while unlocking the room.

“Behave a bit, I know it’s been a while but we’re here for Y/n and it’s about her, you don’t have to like Mingyu, but let’s not cause any fights. Mingyu’s good to Y/n, and you can talk to Y/n about everything tonight after dinner if you need to,” Joshua says firmly.

Seungcheol hangs his head low, Joshua is right, he promised to behave himself because he understands that he needs to move on.

You had every right to leave him back then, and he should accept it, he just needs his final bit of closure, even if it hurts.

“I’m sorry, I’ll be more friendly toward Mingyu. I’ll keep myself in line, let’s rest so we can get ready later,” Joshua nods and smiles at Seungcheol, he was finally getting somewhere and it made him feel like a proud mom.

On the other hand, you were already being interrogated in your room by Jeonghan, Seungkwan, and your beloved fianceé because of Seungcheol’s appearance.

“You guys said it would be fine! Besides, I don’t have any hard feelings! He’s still like family Han,” You whine to your brother as you bury yourself in Mingyu’s embrace.

“He was already taking jabs at Mingyu when I told him to keep himself in line. Y/n, I need you to talk to him and give him the closure he needs tonight so that he doesn’t go mad tomorrow,” Jeonghan sighs.

You pout and Mingyu pecks your lips before taking your hand in his and rubbing it with his thumb as a sign of reassurance.

“I’m willing to do that, as long as we’ll be ok by the party. I’m sorry for causing problems,” You say sadly, now feeling guilt eat at you.

Inviting your ex was such a last-minute decision, but Seungcheol had been in your life for so long even before the breakup that you still felt the need to have him at such an important event in your life.

“Look what you’ve done, Jeonghan. Y/n, it’s ok to make these decisions, all he needs is to talk to you and you’ll be fine, we know you and Mingyu trust each other enough for you to make this decision,” Seungkwan tells you.

It was your brother’s turn to pout as Seungkwan jokingly slapped his shoulder. Seungkwan’s words instantly made your shoulders feel lighter and you looked up at Mingyu.

“I trust you. Look, you can talk to Seungcheol tonight after dinner and we’ll make sure that nothing will happen, alright? Don’t worry,” Mingyu says softly. You nod and look over at your brother, who gives you a smile and a thumbs-up.

Dinner rolls around and you’ve finished your makeup, along with your hair, all that’s left is your dress for tonight.

“Mingyu? Babe, can you come help me with the dress?” Your fiancée peeks from the bathroom and you giggle at his appearance.

“I told you to make the design simpler so you can put it on more easily, but then again, you’re Y/n. My favorite fashion designer,” Mingyu jokes while he zips up the garment and ties the corset in the back.

The two of you look in the mirror, and you take in your form. The dress was designed by yourself and it looked stunning in every way possible.

The sleeves were flowy and the skirt ended right above your ankles, the bodice had a built-in corset and the neckline was a deep v, along with a slit ran down the side until your upper thigh.

“I may not be the luckiest man in the entire world, but my god does the knowledge of me marrying you cancel all that out,” Mingyu says, his jaw slack.

You blush and cover your face with your hands, despite dating for two years and now being engaged, you could never get used to Mingyu complimenting and affirming you constantly.

“I love you, so much,” You kiss Mingyu and wrap your arms around his neck.

The two of you had also had it hard during your dating journey together, but it was nothing a bit of communication couldn’t fix, especially when you both put in the work to get to where you are today.

“I love you more than you could ever imagine, vita mia (my life)” Mingyu says in between your kisses and wraps his arms around your waist.

Before things could progress even more, Seungkwan slams the room door open and clicks his tongue.

“Nice to see you’re brushing up on your Italian guys, now if you don’t mind, we have some guests to get to. You guys have five minutes to go to the lobby,” Seungkwan huffs and shuts the door again.

It’s silent, until you and Mingyu start laughing.

“Shall we?” Mingyu smiles at you after a laughing fit and you take his hand in yours. It was going to be a long night, but you’re with the people you love and that’s all that matters.

At the restaurant, you were elated to see your family members and friends all gathered to celebrate your engagement.

“Mom! Dad!” You grin wildly and greet your parents, seeing Jeonghan following right behind you to greet them as well.

“Y/n, you look so beautiful tonight. I guess being with Mingyu is rubbing off on you,” Your mother jokes softly.

She had always been a fan of Mingyu ever since you brought him home, he was the epitome of any mother’s dream son-in-law.

“She’s always been so beautiful, mom, even more so since the Italian sun hit her skin. It’s lovely to see you tonight, have you seen my mother by any chance?” Mingyu wraps an arm around your waist securely, whilst smiling at your mother.

You were surprised at the display of affection since you two had been holding hands prior, but your eyes caught wind of Seungcheol and it clicked.

“I was just with her, she’s always running off to greet the rest of the family and guests. I’ll go look for her so we can settle at the table together,” Your mother giggles while dragging your brother away, who waves at you sheepishly.

It seemed like he had a few words of his own for you two, but it could wait apparently.

Mingyu led you over to the reserved area by the waist as you greeted guests who had also arrived. “Congratulations on your engagement you two, I wouldn’t have expected it from a mile away,” Minghao jokes.

“Wouldn’t be here without you, so we have to give you most of the credit,” You reply softly.

Minghao takes his hand in yours and looks at Mingyu with care in his eyes, he admires how well you both complement each other as a couple.

“I never expected anything further, but you two surprised me by a ton. Give yourself some credit for the connection you developed with one another, and Mingyu, if you hurt her, I won’t be as pliant,” Minghao continues, this time letting go of your hand and giving way for you and Mingyu to walk through.

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Mingyu gives you his signature smile, canines looking as sharp as ever, before finally letting you sit at the table that was reserved for the two of you.

The beachside hall was starting to fill up with the rest of the guests, and you kept your grip on your fiancée’s hand.

“Hey, you seem tense. Breathe a bit, we’ll just say a few words and mingle with our friends, but if you do end up feeling a bit sick just tell me and we can go back to our room,” Mingyu caresses your hand with his thumb, and you feel more at ease with his assurance.

“Sorry, it’s been a while, I still haven’t gotten used to the fact that I’m your fiancée now and not just your girlfriend. I promise to ease up a bit, and I’ll let you know if I do end up feeling a bit under the weather. Now, don’t worry about me, and let us enjoy the dinner,” You squeeze Mingyu’s hand and kiss his cheek in the process, wondering what you did to deserve him.

What you failed to realize was that Seungcheol was watching the entire interaction happen right in front of him, jealousy boiling in his veins.

Seungkwan clears his throat awkwardly, which catches the attention of Seokmin, who is sitting beside him. Seungcheol gives Seungkwan an awkward smile, realizing that he was being way too obvious with his distaste.

Joshua chuckles and taps Seungcheol’s shoulder as a sign of reassurance. “Take it slow, you still have to talk to Y/n to get all that awkwardness out the door. You’re still just as important to her you know? Again, we won’t hold it against you if you can’t take how uncomfortable it feels being here Cheol,” Joshua uttered.

“I’m fine Josh, I did choose to come here. Once this dinner is over and we can have the conversation, I can finally move on with my life,” Seungcheol sighs, noticing you and Mingyu standing up all of a sudden.

“Hi everyone, a pleasant evening to all of you! First, me and Y/n would like to extend our warmest welcome and gratitude to everyone who has made it, we cannot thank you enough for your presence.” Mingyu’s voice boomed through the hall as everyone cheered.

“Also, thank you all for coming to celebrate our engagement with us. We sadly can’t bring everyone to Italy for the wedding, so we’re here in Jeju to see you all,” You were speaking with so much happiness in your voice, Seungcheol knew right then and there that he had lost. You were happy, he couldn’t do much anymore.

Throughout the dinner, different people dedicated a toast to your engagement. Seungcheol had fun listening to both of your families and their anecdotes, along with a few friends making heartfelt speeches.

You were extremely loved, it was undeniable with the amount of praises and stories being said about you.

“I’d like to dedicate the last toast, this is for both Y/n and Mingyu, because I wouldn’t be living my best life right now without their endless support.” Seungkwan stood up and held out his wine glass, catching everyone’s attention.

“As we all know, the three of us decided to move to Italy together for a fresh start, a new change of scenery. I went with the sole intention of a vacation, though, after a month of being there, I was hooked. There was only one problem, I hadn’t found a job just yet, but Y/n and Mingyu stayed by my side. They helped me get up on my feet, they offered me a place to stay, made sure I was fed, and helped me settle in, which is something I am extremely grateful for,” Seungkwan turns over to you and Mingyu, his eyes now glossing over with tears at you stared at him worriedly, but you knew he was in good hands with Vernon beside him.

“Sorry for becoming emotional, anyways, throughout the time I lived with them, I also watched their feelings for each other unfold. Mingyu was the first one to fall, he was head over heels the moment he saw Y/n cooking in the kitchen, it was so funny because I witnessed it all. He had to debrief how he felt, and I could feel Mingyu’s sincerity, it was sweet,” Seungkwan continued, this time Vernon holding his hand for emotional support.

Everyone swooned at the revelation of Mingyu’s feelings and how they had come to be, it felt different hearing it from someone who was there every step of the way.

“Y/n fell right after, and usually this girl isn’t someone who jumps to conclusions, so she was in denial, but we both knew Mingyu’s treatment towards her changed drastically,” the audience burst out laughing, Seungkwan was on point that was for sure.

“To cut this story short, they were two idiots mindlessly pining after one another, but they finally got together after I left to grab groceries on a random afternoon. I came home and Mingyu was eating Y/n’s face off,” it was Seungkwan’s turn to laugh as he recalled that fateful day.

It was sweet coming home to see the two of you together, but he was not a huge fan of the PDA that was displayed in front of him like a platter.

“I was not!” Mingyu whined. You giggle at your fiancée, squeezing his hand and landing a sweet kiss on his cheek.

“As I was saying, I’m still so grateful to you both to this day, and I feel lucky to have been the one to help you navigate your feelings for one another. A toast to the beautiful couple and a marriage of a lifetime!” Cheers erupted once again and everyone applauded Seungkwan for his speech.

Dinner felt lighter once a few sips of alcohol were shared, and Seungcheol found himself mingling with old friends from high school that you had invited.

“I genuinely thought you would be the one over there with Y/n, but life works in mysterious ways,” a drunken Soonyoung slurred to Seungcheol.

Seokmin cringed from beside him and hit his shoulder to shut him up, but everyone knew that once Soonyoung was drunk, his mouth was relentless.

Seungcheol could only offer an awkward laugh, Soonyoung didn’t know the details of your breakup three years ago, so he couldn’t exactly blame the younger man.

“Yeah, I’m just glad he’s taking care of her. I can’t offer much now, but she’s still our friend. I have no hard feelings knowing Y/n and I are better off as friends,” he replied to Soonyoung’s drunken ramble.

“I hope you find someone soon man, you also deserve to be happy. I think Seok and I are gonna head first since we’re both starting to feel the alcohol kick in, we’ll see you tomorrow,” Seungcheol offered a smile and nodded in acknowledgment.

Everyone knew of Soonyoung’s low tolerance for alcohol, it was understandable that he decided to retire himself before any chaos ensued.

Seungcheol was left at the table with Joshua, Jihoon, and Jeonghan until Minghao approached. He settled himself into the seat beside Seungcheol, smiling and greeting everyone.

“How’s the evening? Everyone’s been leaving slowly, but you stayed. I expected you to be one of the first people to leave, no offense,” Minghao started.

“I can’t blame you, having to sit through your ex’s engagement dinner sounds rough, but it’s been three years and we grew up together. Bonds like that aren’t easily dissolved, if you get what I mean,” Seungcheol chuckled while shaking his head, taking another shot of soju that he poured for himself.

“We can all sympathize, you are a kind man Cheol. I’ve seen you as Y/n’s boyfriend before Mingyu, and you treated her well. What I want to know is, why you started pushing her away last minute. Y/n had always confided in us with your problems,” Minghao’s curiosity had gotten the best of him, but it was in your inner circle’s best interest to find out what Seungcheol’s true intentions were.

“I mean, I was insecure, scared. Y/n has a good heart, she’s the best and if I could turn back time, I would, but I ran away because she deserved better than me. I couldn’t give her the love she desperately craved, we all know about her and those rom-com books,” Seungcheol looked down at his hands.

He felt stupid, and he was stupid, but maybe it happened for a reason.

Minghao felt sympathetic, Seungcheol was afraid to tell you because you were one of the most understanding people anyone could have ever met.

You truly were swamped with attention by your peers, but Seungcheol could’ve handled his insecurity better because you were happy to offer any semblance of assurance.

“I didn’t want Y/n to bend over backward to constantly adjust to my needs because she doesn’t ask for much in return, but I ended up hurting her instead. I’m just content with the fact that Mingyu can give her the love I couldn’t,” Seungcheol’s eyes trailed over once again to yours and Mingyu’s table, only to see you whispering to each other.

You looked tired, but it seemed that Seungkwan had overheard from beside you and gestured over to where Seungcheol was seated.

You bit your lip in hesitation, and Seungcheol instantly knew what was about to take place. Minghao seems to have caught the small interaction as well, and he pats Seungcheol on the shoulder to comfort him.

You squeeze Mingyu’s hand for assurance and your fiancée smiles at you.

“You can do this Y/n, trust that it will be over before you know it. Seungkwan and I will be right here, we can go straight to our room after if you’re too overwhelmed,” Mingyu says gently, holding your hand as if it were as delicate as glass.

“I’ll be back, I love you so much, thank you for trusting me enough to do this,” You mutter just enough for Mingyu to hear.

“I trust you, vita mia,” Mingyu kisses your hand once again and you’re off to the beach outside the hall. Seungcheol didn’t even need to get confirmation as he excused himself and followed you outside.

The cold air surrounds you, along with the sound of crashing waves, feet buried in the sand as you take in the salty scent.

You hear another pair of feet shuffle behind you, and you let out a breath. “Seungcheol,” You turn around and sure enough, you see the man behind you.

“You can go ahead, I understand you’re engaged and you look happy with him. I’m here to finally close the chapter that we never ended properly, and I assure you, I have no other ulterior motives,” Seungcheol is looking at you, his eyes only holding sincerity in them.

“I’m sorry I left, I poured it all out on you right after work because of my anger, I just need to know why,” You were avoiding his gaze and playing with your engagement ring instead.

It felt stuffy, and you were opening a dam that was locked up for three years, but you prevailed for the sake of your marriage with Mingyu.

“I was dumb, I was insecure and pushed you away because I was jealous. We were both so young yet successful, but you were surrounded by so much attention, specifically by men who I couldn’t even compare a fraction to, so I started pushing you away because of the nature of the industry you were going to work in,” Seungcheol poured out his feelings, his heart aching as he recounts the number of times he constantly brought himself down whenever he saw you with men who were models or in the same industry as you.

“I know you would’ve done everything in your power to reassure me, and I also know you would never ask for much in return, but I didn’t want you to suffer because of issues I had with myself. I’m sorry for hurting you, Y/n,” tears were streaming down your face.

All this time, you thought you were the problem, that you no longer made Seungcheol happy, but in reality, he pushed you away because he felt undeserving of you.

“I thought you no longer loved me Cheol, and I am apologetic you feel that way, but that was a thing of the past. We were stupid, and I hope you know that I loved you, yet I chose to leave because I allowed myself to choose my well-being. I wish you communicated to me that you felt that way,” You were open to communication, it was normal, and if Seungcheol wasn’t such a coward back then, the two of you would’ve been fine.

“Things happen for a reason, and I still love you Y/n, but I was a coward. I knew the love I gave you wasn’t even a quarter of what you deserved, you love reading romcoms, and you’re a hopeless romantic. I wanted to give you that love and I held myself to such a high standard, but that was until I noticed that the people that surrounded you did that effortlessly, and I felt angry,” You felt your heart crack, all this time he had left you clueless, and you were now forced to take in all the pain.

“That’s all I needed to hear, I can’t believe you’d do this to me, Cheol. You left me wondering like an idiot, and what you did for me at the time was enough, but I was left a fool. Things do happen for a reason, and I’d like to leave it here. Thank you for the closure we both needed, no hard feelings at the party ok? We throw all the negative feelings away, because we grew up together, and I don’t want to lose you as a friend,” Seungcheol agreed to your arrangement.

He couldn’t afford to lose you either, and after having the conversation with you, his heart felt lighter. The confession was long overdue, but getting it out is what matters.

“No hard feelings, thank you, Y/n. I only wish for the best between you and Mingyu, I also don’t want to lose you. This is overwhelming for us both, so I’ll head first with Joshua. Congratulations once again,” You and Seungcheol smiled at each other, and you turned on your heel to run over to Mingyu, who had been waiting for you the entire time.

Seungcheol’s heart felt lighter, and even if it did hurt, he was content with even being a fragment in each other’s lives. You were in good hands now, and he could see it in the way Mingyu held you close.

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