#but i was tired of the amount of excuses they make for his bad performance

[genderqueerdykes]

im gonna be so fr we need to stop excusing oppression with saying its "misdirected", like saying ___ group can't experience ____ because it's misdirected. they are experiencing it! when has saying "oh sorry youre mistaken you actually can't use that slur against me because im not that" ever worked on bigots? like even cishet men get called slurs and are abused for even clocking on the faggot meter, no amount of "im straight actually" has ever convinced bigots to stop. same for masculine cis women that are abused and called slurs, trans men that are assaulted and experience misogyny, white hispanics/latinx that experience racism and xenophobia, US citizens that experience xenophobia, Christian Middle Easterners that experience Islamophobia, ect.

I think people think oppression is only correctly applied to specific traits or identities you may have, so any instance where you are caught up in oppression is "misdirected" and doesn't count, when oppression is more a system to establish a "normal" and anyone who fails that test whether correctly identified or not is pushed out of the normal circle. this is also why the bar of what's considered normal changes over time, and while historically identities that would be oppressed are gradually moved into normalcy.

quick test, a cishet man is abused, raped, and discriminated against by his peers for not performing masculinity correctly, and so is targeted by homophobia and misogyny because people devalue the traits that are perceived as feminine and this is made to presume he is gay. is he experiencing nothing? its misdirected so it doesnt matter?

that same guy is a drag queen, though he is still cis he now experiences transmisogyny. again, can he say "im actually cis" and stop people from abusing him?

a cishet man is emotionally and physically abused by his parents who believe in traditional manhood and are trying to toughen him up, make him stronger, and enforce gendered stereotypes on him. he is being hurt by the patriarchy, a patriarchy that devalues traits associated with femininity and women in general. is he experiencing misogyny? if not that what? its not misdirected because he is being correctly identified as a cis man and being abused because of it, he is being hurt under the patriarchy as a man.

kind of scattered take, my point being that we cannot treat oppression and privilege as binary concepts that only support the people who reside within the privileged class and only hurt the people within the oppressed class because these concepts work on a societal level and individual identity is not enough to protect you from experiencing oppression and being pushed from normalcy, especially when multiple identities interact.

agreed this arguing is really tired it's so complex and people aren't even scratching the surface of how bad it hurts people. thanks for sending this ask

[singaporehelmet]

i personally feel like there's so much pressure amongst f1 fans to like charles leclerc for no apparent reason

if you say a word about him suddenly you have flocks of lecfosis chasing after you because how dare you talk about their generational talent like that!! how dare you say that he's an awful teammate!! how dare you say that he needs to take accountability for his actions!!

because, let's be honest. the shitty strategy thing doesn't magically make his mistakes out on track disappear. his crashes aren't bad luck, he fucks up. and i'm tired of seeing the lecfosi act like he's a poor little thing who has bad luck and a bad team strategy and never makes mistakes. (not that ferrari has good strategy, but still)

[eepwriting]

hi eep!!!

i adored your subby ves headcannons and would like to ask for a subby ves fic!

maybe he was flirting with girls in the crowd and reader decides to punish him by edging him or something🫣, whatever you come up with will be amazing i’m sure

thx for reading eep ❤️

Jealous, are we? ✶ Vessel x GN! Reader

Warnings: nsfw, smut, handjob (m receiving), edging, masturbation

ANONNNN I love you!! I’m eating this up with a fork and knife 👌 thank you for your request!! 🤍 also this is kinda long. I just had a lot of thoughts.

!! mdni !!

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You were no stranger to standing side stage watching Vessel and and the rest of the group perform. Rocking on your heels and quietly singing the lyrics to yourself, a proud smile on your face every time Vessel sounded particularly good.

Although tonight, you couldn’t push down the ever creeping jealousy that filled your chest. The group of girls front and center seemed to be getting all of Vessel’s attention. He’d been pointing to them, reaching his hands out, even gave them a cheeky smile when one of them yelled out to him. You knew he was only acting this way to elicit a reaction. He had told you countless times how amusing it was to get such visceral reactions from simply standing on the stage. To say he knew the power he had was an understatement.

Yes, you had Vessel wrapped around your finger and absolutely got every ounce of his attention whether you wanted it or not, but that looming pang of envy still hung in the back of your mind. You could excuse it as pent up frustration from traveling, not getting much alone time with him or you could just accept the fact that your attention was being handed out to someone else, and you did not like it.

When the last note rang out, ii, iii, and iv having already exited, you watch Vessel bow and clasp his hands out to the crowd. The small group you had been watching the whole night had tears streaming down their faces, all reaching out as if they were having some sort of spiritual release. His final move was the last thing you expected, made your ears ring with pure loathing for the girls in the crowd. Vessel’s black paint was nearly washed away with sweat, but there was just the right amount for him to draw a sloppy heart over his stomach with the tip of his finger. You’d think he just did the impossible with the way the pit cheered as he pointed out at them, staying still on the front row for a second too long.

You felt bad. It wasn’t the crowds fault. You’d act the same way if you were in their position. They didn’t even know you existed, let alone that you were in a relationship with Vessel.

You try to laugh at his little antics but your jaw clenches hard as Vessel strides off stage to you. You give him the biggest smile you can muster and reach out to pull him into a hug. He practically wraps his whole self around you, squeezing tight. Your shirt sticks to his chest and you can already feel the moisture from him seeping through. “What a great crowd!” He says excitedly, pulling away from you with a goofy smile on his face.

“I know, you did great, baby!” You want to add a snide comment at the end but hold your tongue instead. Of course he compliments the crowd.

You barely register what’s happening when he drags you back in for a messy but clearly excited kiss. His hands hold the sides of your face and the same wide smile returns when he pulls away from you. “C’mon, we have to celebrate with everyone.”

You didn’t want to celebrate. You wanted to drag Vessel away and have him all to yourself.

You oblige and have some drinks with the rest of the crew. The energy from everyone is high and makes your skin buzz but you’re just waiting for Vessel to walk up to you with a yawn and extra grabby hands, begging you to leave with him.

Luckily it doesn’t take long before you’re pushing open the door to your hotel room, Vessel wrapped around you from behind you, tired groans coming from him every so often. He only lets go of you to step into the shower you start for him, nestling back into position once you join him. Now that he’s being all sweet and needy you almost feel guilty for the hell you’re about to put him through.

You’re not surprised when you feel him slowly start to grind against your ass. He always got this way when he was tired and relaxed. His head is still buried into the side of your neck, his long arms wrapped around your middle. You let him move against you for a while, long enough that you start to hear quiet hums and feel small puffs of air on your skin. Eventually you’re able to pry him off your back, spinning around to grab your bottle of body wash. He pouts at you, hands grabbing at your sides in an effort to bring you back to him, but you stand your ground, scrubbing the soap over yourself as if he wasn’t even there.

After enough huffs from Vessel you give in to helping him clean up. Since he clearly could only stand there and pout grumpily at you. “What’s wrong, love? You’ve felt off since the show was over.” His voice is quiet as you scrub over his chest and shoulders. You just shrug, haven’t yet decided on if you should bring up your somewhat selfish thoughts. You peek up at him through your lashes, finding that oh so familiar all knowing smirk plastered across his face. He could always tell when something was up, even if you were a thousand miles away. He wouldn’t push you for answers though. He never did, always letting you initiate conversations about your thoughts and feelings.

“I just noticed how enamored you were with some of the attendees tonight, that’s all.” Your sudsy hands move to his stomach.

Vessel chuckles above you and steps closer towards you. “Oh, I see. I think I know what’s going on.” He tries again to press up against you but you keep your hands on his hips, your eyes study the never ending black streaks running to the drain. “Jealous, are we?” That same smirk evident through his words.

You lightly shrug again and fully look up to him. “I have a right to be. You’d be fuming if you were in my position.” Your fingers dip down and brush against his half hard cock. His hips jut forward just a little. “It wasn’t very kind of you to act that way towards someone else.” You wrap your hand around him fully, your soapy fist making it easy to twist your wrist as you move your hand up and down. Vessel makes no sound but his jaw clenches tight as he looks down at you. “But, I only do that stuff because of the reaction, you know that.” There’s a slight whine behind his words and his fingers flex against your hips. “Still doesn’t make it any easier to watch.” Your voice quiet.

You slow the movement of your hand down to an agonizing pace, giving Vessel full opportunity to fuck up into your fist. You finally allow him to drag you flush against him, his mouth coming down to pepper kisses on your neck and cheek. “I’m sorry. I should’ve thought about how that’d make you feel.” An open mouth kiss is pressed against your jaw and he groans against your skin, thrusting into your fist faster. “Shit, baby, I’m sorry.” His hands hold your hips in a vice grip and his mouth moves up to press against your own. He tries desperately to push his tongue past your lips but you wouldn’t let yourself just give in to him. Not after the antics he pulled tonight. He eventually gives up with a frustrated groan before slotting his head against your neck again. You reach a hand up to thread through his hair and help him out slightly by bringing your thumb forward to rub against the head of his cock every time he snaps his hips forward.

It’s not long before his whines get high pitched and breathy against your neck. You let him continue his movements and even squeeze your fist around him before you pull away from him completely. He bucks forward into nothing now and quickly picks his head up to look at you with a whine. “I think I’m done with my shower.” You reach around him to let the water wash away any remaining soap on your hand before spinning around to slip through the shower curtain before Vessel can even register what’s happening. “But…” His voice trails off and you have to stifle a laugh as you wrap a towel around yourself. “Can you please hurry in there, my love, I’m kinda tired.” When you don’t receive an answer you pop your head around the curtain to find Vessel standing there looking like a lost puppy. His chest is heaving slightly and his cock looks painfully hard hanging in the air. “You better not try anything while you’re in here alone.” You give him a knowing nod. “Go lay in bed when you’re done and maybe I’ll give you what you want.” He quickly nods before you close the curtain and move to the bathroom sink.

It’s not even five minutes that he’s in there before the water shuts off and his arm pokes out to fetch a towel. You try not to look at him through the mirror but the way he super speed dries off and practically jogs out the bathroom door has you watching in amusement. “No touching, remember!” You call out.

You knew he wouldn’t. He was always such a good listener.

After taking your sweet time on your night routine, you step out into the adjoining bedroom and find Vessel patiently waiting on the bed. Not even fully dry, hands twitching at his sides, cock standing oh so pretty as he looks at you with pure desperation.

His hands are on you the second you straddle his thighs, raking over your thighs and hips as he holds you tight against himself. “I don’t think you should be able to touch me either. What do think?” He blinks up at you and reluctantly pulls his hands away, tucking them behind his head. “No. Not after what I did.” It’s said just above a whisper. “Good boy, baby. I only have to tell you once, don’t I?” His eyes are wide as he eagerly nods up at you, a low whine slipping past his parted lips. You press your palms flat against his chest and lean down to press a kiss to his mouth. His neediness makes you mewl into his mouth, his head lifting off the pillow to better reach you.

A hand reaches down to shift Vessel’s cock forward so it’s lying against his stomach before you scoot your hips up. He pulls away from your mouth with a breathy moan, clearly grateful to have some sort of contact again after your stunt in the shower. Your hips roll forward and back slowly over his cock, a small bead of his arousal smearing on his stomach. It’s hard not to just give in, reposition and sink down on it but you know that’s all Vessels thinking about right now, and you’re not done with your little game yet.

“M’gonna cum all over myself if you don’t stop, love.” Oh, well how sweet of him to just tell you when he’s close. Makes your job a lot easier. “Oh yeah? We can’t have that happening.” You shift off his cock completely, moving back to your original spot on his thighs. His brows furrow as yet another climax is denied, an almost pathetic whine falls from his mouth as his hips buck up into nothing.

You reach one hand back to rest on Vessel’s knee, your other trails across your throat and chest, stopping to pull at your nipples before crawling between your legs. Your evident arousal under your fingertips makes you moan out, needy to finally give some attention to the ache that had been building. His eyes stay focused on your hand that’s moving quickly between your thighs, snapping up to your face every time you make a sound. His facial expression is blank but you can tell how badly he wants to reach out for you, evident in the way the muscles in his arms flex with how tight he’s gripping the pillow under his head. “This isn’t very fair.” He whimpers out while squirming under you. Your teeth close over your bottom lip as you chase the release that crept closer. “Jealous, are we?” You breathe out with a laugh. His jaw clenches at your words and his eyes bore into yours. You bounce and circle your hips, imagining it was Vessel’s cock working in between your thighs instead of your own hand. Your head rolls back on your shoulders and you lean back heavily on your hand. Vessel’s desperate and needy whines help push you over the edge and your hips still, mouth hung open while you keep up your movements, working yourself through your climax. A long string of moans pouring out. You shudder when it becomes too much and open your heavy lidded eyes.

Vessel’s chest heaves, eyes hungrily raking over your body. You hold out your arousal coated fingers, bringing them up to his mouth, which he gladly opens for you. There’s a deep, grumbling groan from him when he tastes you, closing his eyes as he greedily cleans your fingers. “Fuck, c’mere…please, baby.” You’re surprised he hasn’t reached out to grab you but you give in and scoot up to press your mouth to his. It’s feverish, teeth clashing together, his tongue darting in to lick against your own before his teeth roughly close over your bottom lip. You taste yourself on his tongue and it makes you dizzy. Your hand slips between the two of you to wrap around his cock. It earns you another bite on the lip and a rough bucking of his hips. You swirl your thumb in circles over the tip, collecting the precum that has gathered there before dragging your hand down to the base. You circle your fingers in a squeeze and use your other hand to pump him quickly.

His mouth hangs open against your own, short gasps of air combined with breathy moans are muffled as they flood into your mouth. You move to kiss and nip along his jaw before spending time sucking a pretty mark onto the side of his neck. “My sweet boy gonna cum?” You hover close to his face so you can watch him. It takes him a second to nod and he opens his eyes slightly. “Please…please. Been so good…won’t flirt anymore…wanna cum s’bad.” He sounds drunk and it makes you pump your fist harder. “Don’t pull away, please, baby.” He whines out and his bucking hips falter a bit. “Shh…I won’t, love.” You kiss his cheek before burying your head in his neck. He lets out a grunt before he goes silent, his hips still and you feel the warm ropes coat your hand, fingers and arm. A trapped moan breaks out as he spasms under you.

Vessel hums out a low note and wraps his arms around you in a tight hug as he tries to catch his breath. The two of you lie there for a short while, caught in a lazy but tender kiss. You’re not surprised when you untangle yourself to find Vessel struggling to keep his eyes open. You smooth a hand over his hair before leaving to wash your hands and fetch a washcloth from the bathroom. You clean up yourself as well as the mess on Vessel’s stomach before gently coaxing him under the covers. He wraps around you when you join him, humming against the back of your head while his fingers absentmindedly trace over your palms.

“I was serious about not flirting anymore. I’m sorry, again.”

You just hum out and curl against him more. You knew he’d keep his word.

“But not the guys. I’ll always flirt with the guys.” He lets out a groggy chuckle.

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GUYSSS THIS MAN

Thank you again anon for the request, it was very fun to think about HA

K. Bye bye.

[earthtokhal]

If I see one more person calling my driver washed, I'm going to absolutely lose it, when other drivers can week in and week out be bad and there's no masses calling for them to be replaced or for them to retire.

People claiming they're fans but they're tired of making excuses for him. People saying they love him but maybe it's time he leaves.

It's high time all of these people realize that they're holding Daniel to much higher standards because they actually think he can do better than what he is currently showing.

Because saying one driver is washed while simultaneously saying the other driver is having his best season yet and yet both of them have the smallest gap between teammates is contradicting and it also downplays the season Yuki has been having.

The car is shit, every single time they change something, one of the drivers struggle. We haven't really had a weekend since perhaps Miami sprint where both drivers were performing well. Even then, we needed a penalty for Lewis (?) to get both cars in the points and you know what? There was no strategy to fumble.

People had already written Daniel off and the only time he gets props is if they want to point out that SP is doing badly.

People must also remember that most of the time we're getting points with either of the drivers is if someone gets a penalty or they dnf. The cars very rarely gain or keep their places at the start and the drs opening on lap two puts the midfield and back markers in a DRS train they rarely can get out off.

Daniel has had a great career and no amount of history revising from trolls will change that. Daniel's career isn't over, he is here and he has the current seat and I have full faith that he will do everything in his own power to make sure he performs well.

There is nothing he can do about cold tyres, bad strategies, getting rear ended or traffic and he is the first person to admit when he has performed badly.

He also does not have the new PU, after whatever the hell happened in Silverstone, he is still driving with that replacement PU. The team tried to fix the issues he was having this weekend and then he had no opportunities to attempt any set up today.

Anything can happen tomorrow, his inter runs looked promising but we still have 9 more to go (and perhaps even next season)

No amount of race weekend stress and/or contract talk stress will ever make me say that supporting my driver makes me drained.

[dis--parity]

@unladielike sent: Due to her coincidentally being in his general vicinity, Vivian manages to notice a sketchy looking man seizing Theo's wallet right while his dog was in the middle of pooping... and without a moment's hesitation, she'll subsequently whip out the fork from the emptied takeout box she had previously been eating poutine from before pointing it directly at him. By that point, the man pauses, allowing perplexed blinks to roll off his eyelids. "Thank you, lord, for this meal I'm about to have!" Vivian then exclaims, and before he could process what was actually happening, she begins charging at him accompanied by a hungry look in her eyes, which makes the man dash away with a startled yelp muffled by his face mask. Honestly, not even ten minutes had passed before the man finally stumbled over his feet and tripped, causing Theo's wallet to tumble it's way out of his loosened grip. Upon noticing this, Vivian then ceases her chase, drops her fork back into the takeout box, and paying no heed to the poor, non-athletic thief that attempted a robbery in broad daylight, picks up his wallet, only to casually saunter her way back towards it's owner. Not long afterwards, though, she'll sigh. Of all the people she could perform heroic feats for, why did it have to Theo? Then again, considering the man didn't have that much stamina to begin with, she supposes it wasn't all that bad. Still, given the amount of energy she exerted, she was now sweating a great deal, making her more and more irritable by the minute. To that end, Vivian proceeds to hold out his wallet... and the takeout box once she makes her way back to him. "...Just so you know, I expect you to take care of my trash as well," she informs him while praying to dear god their fingers wouldn't briefly touch while he relieves her of the weight her hands were burdened with.

『🍬』 "HEY! Hey, what the fuck-?!"

He barely even had time to react; his hands preoccupied with holding the leash of Burn's harness, and retrieving a bag to clean up after him, he was left completely vulnerable to the theft. He was just about ready to drop the leash and let both him and Burn take off after the thief without cleaning up - only, as he turned around, who else should he be met with, but none other than that... weirdo Alex called a friend.

Before he can even raise his voice, tell her to leave it, that he's got this, she just... takes off after him, leaving him in the dust with far more time to share the burglar's once-perplexed look.

"... what the fuck? What's her fuckin' deal? Ugh- c'mon, Burn, let's get after 'em."

Honestly, he would have been half-tempted to keep the bag with Burn's refuse with him, for the burglar's sake. Instead, he graciously tosses it into a nearby bin, starting to run, and regretting with every step that he'd decided against taking his rollerskates with him today. Something in his mind repressed his appreciation for Vivian's heroism as they finally began to slow down, his mind instead flooding with excuses about how if he'd brought his skates, he'd have caught up to them by himself.

He's only vindicated more when she returns - returning his property to him in such an unapologetically backhanded manner that he can't help but roll his good eye. "Of course you fuckin' do. Well, you can forget about me buying you another portion as thanks. Not like you need to eat any more today, anyway."

For a moment, he just stands there pacing, grumbling to himself in... this wasn't humiliation he felt, was it? He only leaves her hanging for just long enough for her arm to start to get tireed, before he walks back over to her. "Just because my therapist is gonna get pissed at me if I don't say this," he growls - and before she can protest, he takes back his wallet, and plants his hand firmly on the takeout box, looking aside as he lets his fingers gently press to her own.

"Thank you, Vivian," he sarcastically spits, yanking the box away, "That was very kind of you."

[immoralimmortals]

A Song With Ten Names

Chapter 3: Misanthrapologist (1)

Chapter 1 ☆ Next chapter

Summary of chapter: Time for a sacrifice.

Author's note: This chapter was originally part of the upcoming one, but I decided it should be standalone, both because it is Hidan-centric and because of its contents. I plan on more installments with this song, and if I follow through they should overall end up more fucked up each time. In addition, please regard the notes and warnings of chapter 1 if you have not read it already. Song is Misanthrapologist by Will Wood.

CW for references to periods, being on your period. Also, Hidan, of course, does not reflect how a normal person should view a chronic condition and he's a bit of an ass about it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

I wanna meet your maker

Shake him by his ensanguined damask lapels

Holler "Look what you've done, gave this planet a sun

And made a man to wonder if he's more than the sum of his cells"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

It becomes impossible to hide, no matter how hard she tries. A flush face, tired bones, and overly sensitive heart make one very vulnerable, especially if those who judge know the reason why. The two Akatsuki don’t yet, and the performer hopes to mitigate it as much as possible.

Doesn’t keep Kakuzu from inquiring, though.

“Sick?” he asks abruptly, looking up from counting the tips made yesterday. It’s been half ten minutes, and the most she’s done for practice is hold her guitar to her abdomen and look pathetic and self-pitying. She fidgets from her seat on the rugged couch, embarrassed as hell.

“...A bit,” she admits.

“Will it effect how well you can work?”

She forces herself to shake her head “no.”

“Alright.”

And that’s the end of that on his end, but unfortunately, after much deliberation, the performer finds she must stand up. A violet eye cracks open from his side of the living room. It watches as she leans down closer than she’s every purposefully been to Kakuzu, and covered lips whisper in his ear. “...Hn,” the older one grunts, “How much?” She mumbles a number as Hidan’s mouth goes into a lopsided pursing. “Mm.” A few bills are dropped into her trembling hand. “Get a receipt.” Without even a look to the prophet, Jashin's disciple is gone; the nature of the whole thing leaves Hidan sour.

“The hell was that all for?” he inquires, praying hands still clasped around his pendant. Kakuzu doesn’t even look up.

“Nothing,” he responds, same tone as ever.

“Fucker.”

“Sure,” he dismisses.

Kakuzu gets the receipt he asked for an hour later, slip of paper in his hand from out of a bag the bard otherwise keeps closed up, lest contents see daylight. He grunts again. Couple cents off, but same bill amount-- decent enough guess, and he got all the change. She thanks him with a small bow and excuses herself up the creaky stairs. As soon as Hidan’s nose is in his space, Kakuzu shreds the paper till unrecognizable.

“OI!”

The old man hasn’t decided yet if this is funny or about to be supremely, unnecessarily annoying, seeing his partner squirm so badly. “Just don’t bother her about it.” Oh, how he should know that kind of talk will only plant ideas in Hidan’s head.

Ugh. People speak too lightly of this kind of thing, she laments in her head as she props herself up against a bedroom wall. “Sick” is the only way to describe the sensation. Her stomach curdles and insides burn. It’s like a vampire bit her and pulled out a cork at the same time-- just totally drained of energy. This pain is so bad her lips quiver as she frowns. The door is closed, but Hidan isn’t the type to knock.

“Oi!” Her eyes flutter open; he walked up without her noticing, somehow, so close she starts with his legs and works her way up. He continues speaking once the eyes lock. “The bastard won’t say anything.” A silver eyebrow raises. “The fuck is your problem?”

Oh. The woman’s cheeks get so red they begin to sting, her mouth feeling more like a squiggle than the line she tries to maintain. “I’m just sick.” The word “just” was a mistake.

“Dying? Fuck, you’re not contagious, are ya?!” Sounding bored with the former option and annoyed with the other. Urgently, the woman shakes her head. “So! What else is it then?!” Frustration loosens up in his expression as he comes up with the only option left. “...Chronic?”

…

…

She nods.

“Painful?”

Quietly, again she nods.

The expression he has is something you never want from Hidan:

Pity.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

'Cause you defy creation

I hate you, I hate you, I do

Hands to the night sky, praying you might die

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The preparations have been made for her mercy kill. Yes, Jashin has convinced him, Hidan needs to end this now. Despite being an immortal, he understood at least a little bit what Deidara was always on about-- the beauty of the end. Last breaths, a body draining till pale like a tipped inkwell, till it stains the ground around it. It was glorious. His disciple had even witnessed first hand! She listened to Hidan, eagerly, curiously; she always asked questions, ones that no one has bothered to since the Akatsuki swallowed him up. Yet...she doesn’t LEARN. The beauty of slaughter has yet to sweep her away in a tangible way, not just philosophical bullshit. The follower will never, ever WANT to kill.

And so it’s better to kill her now and not make anything more of it. Maybe Hidan misunderstood his lord, perhaps she was only to serve as a refresher to his faith, his excitement for the hunt. No more of a pointless existence being whored out for cash by his dumbass partner while he watches idly by. What kind of life is that for him to come back to, night after night?!

It’s time for a sacrifice.

“Uh.”

As she’s wont to do, the performer wrings her hands when particularly anxious about what’s to come. He’s certainly set...a mood…to warrant some tension, her corner of this dilapidated home swathed in shadow, shades down, door closed as a candle passes its light to the others while Hidan savors the burning wax bleeding down his fingers.

For once, he says nothing to even the slightest of words. His gaze concentrates on the fire till he sets the last one, light flickering in anticipation over his purple irises. It’s a sight to behold, someone willingly within his ritual circle. She’ll be good for something, after all.

“I think I complained too much,” she tries to backpedal with less urgency than she really should have, as he begins to prowl towards her backside. “It’s not...curable, per say, but it’s not something I can’t handle. If that’s what this is about,” she adds almost guiltily.

There’s no going back now-- in his mind, she’s a wilting flower, one he’d rather cut and frame for his savior than let decay into nothing at all, but damn if he isn’t curious still about whatever it is making her suffer so much. “Really,” he states, skeptical. His own shadow now doubles over the others, over-top her head. The shift from blades hitched to his spine to being wielded in front of him is unperceived from where she is, seated on the floor, thanks to the refraction of candlelight upon shapes making every one a blur.

“Hidan, I-- it’s-- it’s not a big deal. I promise.” The scythe pauses in place from the height of his swing, only being held by his own insatiable need to know what- exactly- has made her such a tragedy.

“If it ain't a big fucking deal, then stop dancing around and tell! Me! What! It! IS!”

His words come vicious and desperate, hardly contained before, and it makes teeth grit so much Hidan’s mouth begins to ache. Later, he will find, this passion surprised even him-- not because he’s incapable of passion- hell no!...it’s the reason behind it.

Jesus, it’s really going to be like this, huh? Breathe in...breathe out. Alright. It’s gone too far, she decides. He needs to know.

“I. I....period. I’m on my. Period.”

Static and white noise briefly take up the space of the voice in his head, the narrative he made no longer words but nonsense, drowned away. He shorts out, not moving an inch, like a guillotine still waiting to drop down.

“I’m sorry. It’s not a big deal, it’s really not! I can handle it, I have to. I’m just...in the bad part.” The part where she can hardly stand up, that is. Pathetic. “I’m sorry,” she says again.

The shadow of the blades shifts, slowly, surely, bit by bit, as his wrist lowers to his side. Ah, what sort of punishment was she going to endure? For making him go through...whatever all this preparation is meant for.

He walks around the circle, scythe still in his hands as he wraps his head around this. The woman is kneeling down, obedient to him, to his judgment. Her face is drained of color, hardly keeping her head up and not bothering to brush the hair out of her way. Hands folded, hands praying. Her eyes are wet, refusing to meet his own. Something occurs inside of him that’s less of a “click” and more like a sunrise: gradual, consuming, warming. It's foreign, and yet a part of him-- guiltily-- accepts it. Though he doesn't fully understand why, he is granted wisdom that this "condition" is not something he shall remedy.

After all, bloodshed is bloodshed.

“Ah. Well. Shit, then.”A small clink as he reattaches his red guillotine to his back. “Why didn’t you just say so?” Truth is, the performer had correctly guessed that he has a bit of a religious obsession with blood-- didn’t need Kakuzu’s advice to keep the subject private. God, but does she really have to feel so silly right now? That Hidan thought that he needed to do something to save her from it?! She’s...huh.

She’s flattered.

The woman sits lowered before him, and though as helpless as she is, damn if she isn’t curious.

“Did I really worry you that much?”

He quickly spits the taste of affection out of his mouth.

“Sorry.”

“...Shut up,” he murmurs.

“Sorry.” She shuts her eyes.

But just as soon they have reason to flutter open; they can only do so, of course, when she finds a gentle hand takes her own. Hidan’s fingers brush over her knuckles. It’s him, this time, that won’t meet her eyes, his own narrowed while closed lips try to seal in the little breath not lost. The chain around his neck rises over his head. The pendent is set into her palm, and then his own palms fold underneath it. Abruptly, the world is hers.

“We praise Jashin for this pain, for this blood. Thank you for our lives, as we are reminded of the mortal cycle. In life, we anticipate death. In death, we begin to feel alive. Thank you for blessing your disciple, lord Jashin.”

He’s never prayed out loud before in the time they’ve known each other, let alone for both of them. There’s a long pause; the assumption it’s her turn comes around. What should she pray for?

...She doesn’t know. But still, with this spectacle, she’s filled with something overwhelming, and it should come out. Instinctively, she leans down at the end of his prayer, and Jashin’s cold silver sigil is pressed to her lips gently, reverently. He’s foolish enough to look up at this moment and witness this kiss. For the first time, in all her pure, weary glory, Hidan sees he was wrong. He sees she is radiant. He sees she is beautiful.

And silently, unknown to her, he repents for the sin of doubting his lord.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Before I fall in love with you

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

[medicdoodles]

DRAtchet Week 2022 Day 4: Great Things do Happen.

(First Day)||(Day 3)||(Day 5)||(Last Day)

Deadlock knows that the war will shift soon. So he goes and looks for work with no strings attached.

The war is going to escalate soon. Deadlock had no real prove of this, but last time he ignored this feeling he ended up left behind. High command is going to have him sign a contract to only do work for them. While a long time ago he would have liked that. To have one guarantee.

The truth is he has Ratchet to think about, not that the mech has said anything about wanting to bond or anything. Deadlock still has to take care of his lover. He knows that Ratchet would not want to join any side of this conflict. Having other bots dictate who he is and isn't allowed to fix is against his coding.

That means that if he wants to keep Ratchet, he will have to find honest work. Easier said than done, honestly he's tried that before. However, this time he won't take no for an answer. If he has to he will threaten bots to give him the work.

Damn, if he hadn't bought Ratchet that nice house he would have a good amount left over, but it's not a regret he has. Ratchet likes it, likes it enough to stay there even if Deadlock has offered his nicer appartment.

There's still time for him to take up more contracts. At this point he will even agree to the Senate's dirty work that pays less than a cube of energon just to save more. Doing all of the bounties also gets him in the spotlight of other assassins, who normally took the scraps he leaves behind. Now he has to time the last job he'll take and when he will excuse himself from the Decepticon army.

"17000 is starting pay. All you have to do is stay in alt mode and follow the directions of the stunt director." The recruiter he ran into while staying at the motel parking lot in between jobs says to him.

"17000, no insurance?" Deadlock should be angry about risking his life for less than two meals, but it sounds like steady work and anonymity. Really the only downside so far is that they expect him to tour with the group.

"No we have one mechanic on site but the talent is top priority, get it." An opening.

"So what if I wave my right to go to him for repairs, could you up my pay?" The mech isn't surprised. He supposes that the other bots who are dumb enough to take this job are also desperate.

"It goes to 30000." The bot sighs as he scratches the build up in his microphones.

"Deal." Deadlock holds his hand out to shake on it.

"Deal. Your first day is in a week. If you're late on showing up your fired." Should he be intimidated, his Ratchet has a remote ground bridge he sure he can ask to borrow it.

----

Fuck, they didn't tell him that the mech they hired to preform the stunts had never done any before. No it was only after he crashed into him and five other cars in the fire pit that they tell him. Most of the performers were a bunch of pretty looking younglings, who were easily preyed upon or hatchlings that had just grew up around the stunts.

Really only the bot from Nyon with a fire outlier ability has any control over his performance. Which Deadlock has a lot of issues with, and now has to make sure all these kids don't get hurt. He also takes up teaching the sharp shooters how to properly fire their own blasters.

All that work and he gets to go home with three new scorch marks, a broken fender, and a twisted back tire. At least they are off for the next two days due to bad weather. So he's going to get home rest on the couch and call Ratchet tomorrow.

That was until he gets into his appartment. Opening the door with a physical lock is a pain in the ass but it was safer to have two locks instead of the standard code lock. Walking into the room Ratchet is asleep on his couch. One arm wrapped around the blanket that he uses. Another one is holding the wax, theres now a new dent in the center.

His spark is about to give out. Ratchet has chosen to be here, in his hovel because he missed him. That he is the one that comforts him and trust him. How couldn't he, when Ratchet has had just as much hardships as he, how couldn't he. It's almost a shame to wake him, but the faster it's done. The faster he can sweep him off his feet and carry him to the bed.

"Hey." He shakes Ratchet's leg, gently nudging him to wake up. "I just got home.", he watches as Ratchet's eyes blink back on and synergize to his processor.

"Huh, Deadlock." Ratchet doesn't move but he does follow his movements aroubd with his eyes.

"Yeah I got off of work. So I'm going to go to bed." He can feel the smile burn onto his face. Primus imagine getting to spend the rest of his life waking up to this kind of Ratchet. He truly would be blessed. "I was hoping to get you to join me."

"Oh." He lets go of the blanket to wrap his arms around him. "Fine, but you have to pick me up."

"Of course." Like that was some kind of punishment. He scoops up both leg in one arm, the other grabs his shoulders. Or he would have, if it wasn't for the shots that got his left side.

His leg gives out and make sure Ratchet is okay he drops him back on the couch. He falls to the floor and sees the legs of the seat snap. It hits the floor hard, kicking up all the dust coating both their frames. Now his wonds are stinging.

"What happened?" Ratchet is now climbing off the couch and examining the damage. He's on his frame, legs lock around his and it's starting to get hard to think.

"It's nothing to serious I just got a bit ding up at work." That has the opposite effect as Ratchet is now digging deeper into his frame, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. "I was going to tell you tomorrow over diner but I got a job at the circus."

"The Circus?" Ratchet then runs his hands on the bent fender and twist it back into place. "What about the Decepticons? Are you not getting paid enough?" He looks back at him. "Do you need help?" They've been this close before, but never did Deadlock take the time to notice how sullen his eyes are.

"I'm planning to leave the Cons." That now gives him a bewildered look. That's a new one and damn if it doesn't look cute. "I just have to submit my two weeks."

Ratchet is shocked, so much so that he stops his examination. One hand steadies them, the other is hovering right above the bullet wound. "Really?" He doesn't move, so expressionless that Deadlock is starting to worry.

"Yes. In the next two weeks I will officially be apart of the stunt act and out of the Decepticon army." Ratchet still stays silent, and he moves to comfort him. Or he would have if Ratchet didn't suddenly push him to the ground again and kisses his face. He would like to return it but fingers dig deep into his wound and it hurt like hell again.

He wouldn't trade it for the world, he even starts to see his vision pixelate. Great things do happen, and for a while Deadlock was sure that he found happiness. It would be the law of the universe that he will drive into the worse sadness of his life.

[miss0atae]

The Jungle - 8th Episode Review

Here is the review for the 8th episode and I truly was not excited about this one. I really wanted it to be better than what the preview was giving yesterday but you’ll see really quickly that my hopes died so fast.

We get the backstory behind the reason’s why Hack came to see Irin. He was having sex in the bathroom at that time with a random woman (or was it just a hug XD. The spice is so tame in this series) then Hunter knocked at the door with an unhappy face. Turns out he was the messenger for Pine who wants someone to take care of Irin while he is not here.

Suddenly we have a flashback from 7 years ago with Irin coming at the RV (was it her first time?). The RV is freaking old for a secret bar. She struggled to get in because she didn’t take the same piano lessons at school like Pladao or Gale. Hack helped her get inside and we also learn that apparently you only get three chances to get in. Excuse me! Since when? I remember Pladao and Gale doing more than that. They got a free pass, or what? Anyway, Hack is flirting but Irin is not into it. We discover that she already knew Pine but not Hack at that time. He offered her a drink but she rejected him. He is trying to explain the personality of Pine to her but in vain. Mostly it looks like he is trying to ruin her chances with him. It was the only point where I thought Irin was the most clever girl among all the group so far. That quickly disappeared too. She saw right in his bullshit which was a refreshing change. Also, Hack has a big ego! It's the size of a mountain. “You will come to me when you are tired of trying to break his walls”. Man calm down! You're not that great either. So Irin is a butterfly. What would be an episode of the Jungle without these little comparisons with animals. It is to keep alive the vibes of wildlife documentary introduced from the first episode. So back in the present with Irin being again tired with Hack's bullshits. My question is why Hack thinks he can score good points with Irin if he is mocking her all the time. Plus being jealous of Pine for about 7 years is too much!

Wow! In the next scene we got Bad mom the return! I wasn't expecting it. Wayu wants to come clean to Pethai's grandparents about taking his brother’s identity but Bad Mom thinks it won't work. She should be the one apologizing why he is doing all the work?! Wayu just wants to tell them that he doesn't need their inheritances. Dude is rich why would he need them anyway? I assume a celebrity in Thailand earns a fair amount of money. Bad Mom is still thinking only about her. That woman is so shameless and self-obsessed. Is she pretending to faint now? My bad, I was bad-mouthing her when it turns out she has cancer. Oh please! Stop trying to make every villains a good y in disguise.

We leave Bad Mom and Pethai to switch to the twins. Nannam is mocking his twin for not going through his love story with Pladao. Nanfah is really becoming the sweet Naan. Is there hope for a real love story between them in the next episode? You can't just be friend! Also I don't care about Irin/Hack and Pine, love triangle. They should have made the show focus only on the twins. I love this kind of story. The twins taking the identity of the other one was amazing in Not Me. I'm quite impressed with Nanon here. He is not bad at all. Of course we are not at the level of Gun Atthaphan but it's a quite good performance from Nanon. Sweet Naan stop thinking you'll hurt the girl. Pladao is not her cousin. Besides she did so many dumb things before and she is still fine. This girl has nine lives. Nannam is not helping at all xD. Your brother needs to have some reassurance. Stop trying to be the better man Naanfah. Go after her! I was shocked to learn that Pine could be the real leader of the Jungle. I also notice that that Naanfah said Nannam and Pethai were the right hands of Pine and he only has Hack now. So Nathee is only in the Jungle for what? Just to look pretty.

Let’s move back to Irin who is drinking her problems away and Hunter acts like her sober companion. He also tries to convince her to strop trying to get with Pine because it's not possible since there was only one person for him anyway. I guess he is talking about his true love (Is it August or another girl? Because they all talk like she is dead so I don’t know). I kind of feel sad for Irin. She will have to settle for Hack. We got another Flashback with an audition for Irin where they order her to undress in front of a man to get the job. Again everyone goes to the RV to celebrate. This bar is supposed to be hidden but everyone gets there. The man who conducted the audition is trying to grope Irin. He can't leave her alone. I hate those kinds of scenes. They are really hard to watch for me. I understand why we get them for the plot but gosh it's so infuriating. Hack helps Irin. Then Pine also joins in. Irin tries to go home but the man is really assaulting her this time. The Jungle arrived and saved her. That’s how she got so in love with Pine because she views him as her savior. Was the encounter before or after she came for the first time in RV? In the present, Hunter is still acting as the therapist of everyone here. Irin is in her delusional era. Why forcing yourself in a relationship when the other person doesn't want to be with you? Let it go! Find someone who really wants you for you. Well, after drinking a lot and going after Pine in her home she wakes up in his bed but it didn’t happen. She thought she had sex with Pine but it was Hack in fact. Don't drink kids or you will regret it. Hack is having fun while Irin is freaking out. My guess... They probably didn't really do it. I thought like that with Pladao and Nanfah in one episode but they never really said if it happened or not.

Why are these relationships all starting badly in this show. It's getting boring after a while. Irin went to pick up her sister in her school but she had one class to still do so she joins her. The sister has a law class to attend and she said she likes this class because of the teacher... we all know the teacher is Hack because the world is so small. He teases Irin in his class by asking her questions. I stopped caring at that point so I can just say that it was to show their relationships after their night. Then after the class we got a product placement for milk when they met outside. Has anyone tried it before? I can’t drink cow milk but I’m curious about the taste. Did we also got a Durex product placement too? They disagree about many things. Really I got bored of their conversation. There are absolutely zero sparks between them. I saw Krist on Be My Favorite recently and I know he can have it with a co-star so my guess is that it's bad writing/directing in action again.

The series is really trying to make Bad Mom a good person deep down. So annoying. Wayu and her are reminiscing about the real Pethai. Wow two brothers who look the same but have different personalities. Groundbreaking! Sorry I can't feel sorry for Bad Mom. There isn't enough good writing to make that possible. She tried to ruin life for others. Wayu is a fool to fall for that. I can't. This part is the most ridiculous in the whole series. It's a big no for me. I feel zero empathy for them. It's terrible.

Irin has an identity crisis and an accident at the same time. Turns out she is fine and only the car got damaged. She calls someone to help her and I guess it’s Pine, but he doesn’t come and instead we have Hack. Irin is furious and disappointed. She is jealous and hurt because she knows she will never be in Pine’s heart. Hack looks almost hurt for her. It was the only time where I thought it looked like he wants her. He is offering her an escape by telling her the truth about Pine and how he lost his love. Also we learn that Pine has sex with different women and drinks to forget about that person. At the end of this episode, Irin decides to sleep with Hack to forget about Pine.

This episode was so boring. Like really it was the first time I couldn’t concentrate because there were no reasons for me to be really attentive. I only liked the part between the twins. The preview for the next episode is not that interesting too so I don’t have a lot of hopes for next week. At least, we’ll have more info about Nathee and the beginning of his love story with Florence. Aye is a really good actress and I can’t wait to see her. She is one of the reason I decided to watch this series so I was really anticipating her apparition. I also hope Pladao and Nanfah will get their romance in the coming episodes but I doubt it will be in the 9th.

[bubsub69]

Entry 2

14/05/2023 22:47

Well might as well start all entries with how my sleep schedule is, i had an afternoon nap so i might not sleep enough tonight but better than being up at 4am because i tried going to sleep at like 11pm and it went horribly wrong.

Reason for writing today? well while before looking at cute couple stuff like hugging and cuddling would make me cry now a porn video that wasnt even my first time watching made me cry because the couple seemed really happy and having a good time even though the girl was probably laughing cause she ruined the dudes orgasm on his face (video: https://www.redgifs.com/watch/quaintelderlyvireo#rel=tag%3Aruined-orgasm%2Cchastity%2Ca;order=trending)

I guess i should start with yesterday, with the blessing of the folders/briefcases whatever, it was as bad as expected so at least not worse than expectations, a very late start as a lot of people expected followed by a walk a queue to sit down, a small sermon and then speeches from each course. The worst part honestly might have just been the sun, it was blazing hot and i think i got sick from it, my nose was extremely fucked last night and still kinda is. After that we went to have lunch at a crisp 3pm and the food arrived at like 4, thank god my body has a high hunger resistance or i mightve killed someone, i spent a lot of time at the restaurant but at least i got to be with my cousin so it was actually pleasant, at the end we went to the lake garden to take some pictures for some reason and then went home (the for some reason comes from the fact we already had like 40 photos on the camera alone and went to take more).

idk why i wanted to write down what happened yesterday this was supposed to be more about emotions than story but oh well who can stop an autist from rambling.

But going to aforementioned (wow that was the word whos spelling i really had to look up, why am i spellchecking a personal diary? cause fuck you i want to, anyway another autistic rambling aside) emotions, those ribbons made me feel kinda weird when i reread them cause everyone was saying congrats on the hard work and for beating this challenge but i feel like its undeserved cause its not like i put a huge amount of effort studying, i barely passed some stuff which is definetly something im not proud of but yeah i feel like i slacked off most of the year even though ive never missed classes or failed to deliver a project, i guess im just associated with the studying part of school instead of this which is better honestly, even if i get stressed like now where i have a shit ton of stuff to do and am over procastinating as usual, but yeah, a lot of good jobs for a meh performance feels kinda weird.

But enough about school heres an update on D, today is sunday which matches the same day as the day of the call so how was her availability? well she gave me a maybe and then said that apparently her visa is expiring and shes super stressed out, well that seems like something way too complex for an excuse/lie so i believe her more but yeah her moving again is definetely going to make her busy again so i guess no calls for me.

Really feeling like a piece of shit that thats all the care i can muster for it, shes like about to get formally deported and im out here complaining shes too busy for me, and the worst is i decided to get a keyholder on chaster just to satisfy me, it feels like cheating i dont know why, we had some mild texting and a call and ive already like fallen in love and feel like a traitor, but i guess im tired of waiting and it might be for the best to move on if she just wants to stay an acquaintance (well new record for biggest spelling blunder), but yeah i feel like im giving up too soon cause i really liked her and just moving on feels really bad but what can i do when she doesnt show any interest, i mean not only does she not text back she also hasnt asked anything about me, which i guess is kinda fair for most boring person in the world whos hobbies are gaming and youtube, yippy, i guess ill wait again, this time im gonna do a week of no texting to see if she ever sends me something, she will be busy with the moving so she probably wont but oh well whatcha gonna do, not like shed say yes to a call in these circumstances either, i still wish i could help her but i dont think i can just ask dad if he has a contact with the visa man to hurry her process, but i did imagine that cenario

I guess switching to a different type of emotion to put some variety in this yesterday i fucked up the gamepads usb port out of anger but i think i tricked my parents by saying i saved the computer from falling, and on other hardware problem news theres a screw that i think broke the plastic around it so know the case keeps disconnecting from the rest. This was a shitty story but at least its not all about being sad and lonely

Well a bit of a blunder of an ending but oh well heres entry two, if the lady i messaged to be my keyholder replies the update will be here:

[weirdos-am-i-right]

Fuck Traveling// Pete Davidson x reader

Request from @annalayton19

Hi! I’m a new follower and I really like your stuff! Could I request a Pete Davidson x reader (angst to fluff) where Pete is on tour or filming away from home and the reader is left behind. After like 6 months of being apart Pete starts to get tired of the long distance and basically like done with it. And then he realizes his mistake and comes home to make it up to her! I’m sorry if that’s super long! Also if this imagine doesn’t interest you, then no sweat! Thank you so much in advance 💕

A/n: This took so much less time then I thought it would. Anyway, here you go, I really hope you like it!

Warning: angst, swearing, like one cigarettes

€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€€

Six months. Six months was an extremely long time to be away from someone you loved.

Y/n sat on the couch, a small pout on her lips. She looked at Pete—her boyfriend of a year—and frowned. “I wish I could go with you.” Pete frowns too, and sits down next to her.

“I know. I wish you were coming with me too. But hey, it’s only a couple of months, all right? I’ll be back before you know it.” He kissed her cheek.

“I just wish my contract would let me. You have no idea how annoying it is to not be able to do things because of freaking Marvel.” She groans, falling on her back with a slight ‘plop’.

“Well, because of freaking Marvel, you are one of the best actresses out there. And I know you’re going to kill it with filming. My tour isn’t even that cool. It’ll broke you to death.” He jokes, leaning back on the arm of the couch.

“Babe, you’re a comedian.”

“Oh right, I forgot.” He grabs her arm, and pulls her up into his chest. “I love you, okay?” He lifts her chin up, and kisses her. “So fucking much. We’ll face time everyday, I’ll call you every evening and wish you goodnight.”

“Okay.” She looked over a the clock, and sighed. “We have to go. Your flight is leaving soon.” He brushes hair behind her ear, bringing her eyes back to him.

“I love you. It’ll be over before you know it.”

“I love you, too.”

********

The car ride to the airport was long, and quiet. Pete was driving, he had one hand on the steering wheel, and one hand on Y/n’s leg, rubbing small circles into the center of her thigh.

She knew she was going to miss him so much, but she also knew she was going to be extremely busy with filming, so it wouldn’t be as bad.

Once they were at the gate, they tearfully hugged, and she kissed him. “All right, now get out of here. We’re not doing that rom-com turn back at the last second goodbye.” She laughed at him, tears steaming down her face a bit. He wiped one with his thumb, and kissed her again. “Love you. Now go, so I get to watch you walk away.”

“Really?”

“Yes.” She turns around, and starts walking back to her car. She knew he hated leaving her too, but he was a lot better at hiding emotions then she was, that was one of the only things she learned while dating him.

She got in her car, and put her head on her steering wheel.

She groans, and leans back. Starting her car, she pulled out of the airport, and drove home.

**********

The first few months were the worst. Y/n hated going to bed alone, the left side of the bed always cold.

She was filming almost every day, and seeing her co-workers and friends always cheered her up, after all she had been working with the same people for quite some time now, so she felt comfortable around them.

The fourth month was slowly becoming easier. She got use to coming home to no one there, and making dinner for herself. She still talked to Pete every day, texting him good morning, and Goodnight, and FaceTiming him a lot during the day.

Though she knew he loved her, she felt as though he was slightly pulling away. The FaceTime calls were short, and he never texted her back right away like he use to.

“And so, we we’re almost done with the shoot, so close I could practically taste the coffee in my trailer waiting for me, and then Kevin calls cut, and he makes us do the whole scene over again! I swear, I was about to strange that man. Ugh, I can’t wait til you come home. Only two more weeks, I can’t believe we made it.” Y/n rants, talking to Pete on the phone.

“Uh huh. Cool.” He wasn’t looking at her, instead his attention was somewhere else. Y/n frowns, tilting her head a bit.

“Pete…are, are you okay?” That seemed to catch his attention, and he finally looked at the screen.

“What? I’m fine.”

“Okay…you just seem so…different lately. I don’t know, maybe it’s just me, but you seem like you don’t have time for me anymore. Or if you do, you don’t like talking to me.” Pete scoffs.

“Of course I don’t have time for you right now. I’m in between shows, I’m driving to one as we speak. I mean, god forbid I get a minute to myself without my agents or you calling me.” Pete snapped.

“Wha-I’m just talking to you. If you didn’t want to, you could have said something.”

“That’s bullshit you would have thrown a fucking hissy fit or something.” He rolls his eyes.

“That’s not true. I understand when people are tired, believe me I would know.”

“Would you?”

“Yes!” She had tears stinging her eyes. “Of course I do, you’re forgetting what I do for a living. I work from 6 am to whenever we finish which most of the time is in the middle of the night. I have to re-do the same scene about ten times because RDJ won’t stop making jokes in the middle of the scene!”

“Oh, sorry, I forgot about your super-star actress life.”

“Why are you being so mean to me? I was only concerned about you.”

“Mean? What are you, five? I can’t-I can’t do this anymore.” She huffs, crossing her arms.

“What do you talking about? Are you breaking up with me?”

“Wh-”

“Because then fine. If you don’t want to be with me, I don’t have to take this shit. I’ll be with someone who, oh, I don’t know is actually here.”

“Oh that’s fucking rich, you know I can’t be there, don’t even do that.” She scoffs.

“I don’t care. You want to act like a petty bitch, I have no problem doing it right back.”

“No, I think you’re just a petty bitch.” She wipes her eye, and he laughs dryly. “Oh of course you’re crying.”

“Shut up. If you don’t want to be with me, fine. Go enjoy your show, Pete.” She hung up the phone, and turned off the ringer. She plugged it into her charger, and went into the bathroom, turning the shower on.

********

Pete rubbed his eyes, and took a drag of his cigarette. He knew he shouldn’t have snapped at her, it wasn’t her fault he was cranky, and needed to take it out on someone.

“I’m a dick.” He mumbles to himself, and bangs his steering wheel.

His phone rang again, and for a good second his heart leaping out of his chest, thinking it was his girlfriend, calling him back. He checked the phone, seeing it was Colson. He answered the call.

“What’s up, man?” Pete asks.

“The shows starting soon. You almost here?” Colson questioned. Pete looked at his google maps, seeing he was supposed to be there in ten minutes.

“I’m a good ten minutes away. I’ll be there.”

“You sound weird. What the fuck did you take without me?” Colson asks, trying to lighten the mood.

“Uh…Y/n and I just broke up. I think.” The line was silent for a few seconds.

“Why the fuck would you do that, you idiot? Are you kidding me?” Colson scoffs. “Man, what the fuck?”

“Shut up, man. I can’t stand talking on the phone with her. I’m busy, she’s busy, she plays a superhero for fuck’s sake. I didn’t even expect it to last this long to be honest.”

“Man, you fucking dumbass. That girl was probably the only good thing you had going for you. Get her the fuck back.I thought you loved her.”

“I did-I do. I do love her. I’m just so stressed right now, and excuse me for not wanting to hear about fucking Kevin Feige being a shitty director.”

“Hey, fuck-shit, you ever think that maybe this is more hard on her? Acting is fucking hard, you should know that, especially for a company like Marvel.

“Man, who’s side are you on?” Pete turns into the parking lot, and grabs his phone.

“You think I’m on your side here? You’re forgetting that we were friends before I met you. I can not believe you just fucked up the best thing in your life. Fix it, man. You’re going home in a week, fucking fix it.” And with that, Colson hung up, and put his phone away.

He kicked a rock across the pavement, and cursed under his breathe.

********

The worst thing about breaking up with someone you live with, who so happens to be long-distance is that their stuff fills the apartment with an existential amount of regret.

Y/n laid on her couch, flipping through the channels of the TV. She had called off work for the next few days, not feeling up to put on a performance for anyone. She knew she would get shit for it later, but she didn’t care.

Her head perked up when there was a knock on the door. She sighed, and got up, going over to the door. She really didn’t feel like company at the moment, and was sure she was going to send away whoever it was.

When she opened the door, her breathe caught in her throat. Pete stood in the doorway, looming over her. He looked like shit. She could tell he hadn’t slept, and probably didn’t eat anything, but she knew he didn’t look much better.

“Why-why didn’t you use your key?” Y/n asks, opening the door a bit for him.

“I uh, didn’t want to barge in on you. You also probably weren’t expecting me.”

“I wasn’t. I thought you didn’t get back until next week.” She says. It took every ounce of her not to jump into his arms, and kiss his face until she was sure she kissed every part of it.

“I took off early. Can we talk? Please. I was a dick. I was such a dick. I’m sorry, I know we grew apart in the last few months, and I promised we wouldn’t but we did, and I’m so sorry for that, baby.” He grabs her hand, and she slightly pulls it back, but let’s him grab it. “Please, forgive me. I love you, so much, okay? So fucking much, you’re the best thing that’s happened to me.”

She felt tears welling up in her eyes, and she looked away from him. “What you said really hurt.”

“I know. And I’ll spend every day trying to make it up to you.” She quickly wrapped her arms around him, pushing her face into his chest. He didn’t hesitate to hug her back, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. “I love you.”

“I love you, too. Fuck traveling.”

“Fuck traveling.”

.

[itsallyscorner]

request:

maybe like a part 2 where the reader was a singer!

but maybe like everyone in the marvel cast goes to the sweetener world tour to suprised them n congratulate them?

Thank you for the request, hun! I appreciate you for reading my other stuff and suggesting a part 2! Now that I think about it, I might make the whole singer thing into its own series of imagines and headcanons! Just a thought🥰 Happy reading!❤️

A/n: I’ve never been to an Ari concert, so I don’t know the set list, but enjoy my loves❤️

💌.

Sweetener

(She’s so pretty ugh)

You looked at yourself in the mirror. You leaned forward making sure your makeup was all good and to check if your lipstick has smeared onto your face.

“Everything good, hun?” Your makeup artist, Perrie, chirped from behind you. You took a step back, getting one more look.

“Yes Ma’am.” You turned to her and she was holding up the familiar bottle of setting spray.

“One more spray for good measure.” She motioned for you to close your eyes and you did. You breathed in through your nose as you felt the vibrations of the arena. The mix of the music playing out on stage mixed with the cheering of your fans added to your adrenaline.

The tour was finally at Inglewood, California, the last stop of the Sweetener World Tour. You had been traveling around the world for the past 10 months, performing every night in a different country or state. As tiring as it sounded, you absolutely loved the experience. Not only were you traveling and seeing new places, you were meeting your fans from different countries and doing what you loved. After 101 shows and 3 tour legs, it was finally coming to an end. The ending of tour was always bittersweet. You’ve been traveling with multiple people and crew who have grown to be another family. You were going to miss them so much but it was time for you to go back home to your real family. Not only have you missed your parents and siblings, but you also needed the rest. 10 months of nonstop traveling definitely took a toll on you. But nonetheless, it was all worth it.

“All done!” You opened your eyes to see Perrie smiling at you.

“Thank you so much!” You pulled her into a hug as your eyes began to water. You groaned playfully and tilted your head back.

“I’m gonna miss you doing my makeup everyday. Ugh, I haven’t even gone out on stage yet and I’m crying already.” You laughed through tears as Perrie began to protest.

“(Y/n), I swear if you mess up your makeup, you’re never going to hear the end of it. Cry later!” She laughed as she tried to get you to stop the tears from falling.

She gripped onto your arms and yelled, “NO TEARS LEFT TO CRY REMEMBER?” You bursted out laughing at her reference. You waved your hands at your eyes and when they finally felt normal, you looked straight.

“Okok, I think I’m good.” You released a breath as you smiled sweetly at her, “I love you!” You giggled pulling her into another hug.

“I love you too, darling. Have fun out there, you’re going to do amazing like always.” She squeezed you tight before letting you go. Victoria, one of your dancers and friend, peaked her head into the room.

“You ready? They’re waiting for you in the circle.” She informed you holding a hand out. The circle was like a pre-show ritual you had backstage with all the dancers and crew. You took her hand as you all walked out the makeup room. Your heels clicked against the floors, echoing in the hallway. The closer you got to the stage the louder the fans got and the stronger the vibrations got.

The circle was already gathered with all the dancers and crew. When Scott, another one of your dancers and friend, noticed you he began to cheer. Everyone followed along as you entered the circle. You were tucked in between Scott and Brian, who were twins. The two have been your dancers since the beginning and still are how many years later. You were truly grateful for them and everyone who was included in your Sweetener family.

“Damn. Last show ya’ll!” You began causing them to all cheer. You waited till they quieted down, shyly laughing, before continuing.

“Um, I don’t wanna get all emotional and shit right before going on stage. I’m gonna look like a mess out there with my mascara running down my face. Perrie I’m sorry!” You laughed. “I just wanna say, thank you to every single one of y’all. You guys have been the most fucking amazing people to work with. You guys have been working day and night to make the show as spectacular as it is and I love you all so much. You guys are my family and I can’t wait to write another album so I can tour with y’all again. I just want to hug every single one of you, you guys mean so much to me. Like literally, from the bottom of my heart I love all of you so much. I know I’ve said that like multiple times, but I really mean it. Y’all are gonna get a fatass check after this.” You finished making everyone laughing again. By now a few tears have made its way down your face. You even saw a few people’s eyes well up.

You laughed as you heard a chorus of “I love yous” as everyone squeezed in for a group hug.

“Alright! That’s enough crying, let’s get this show on the road!” You cheered to help everyone from crying. Everyone moved out the circle and got into places.

Before you can get in place, Perrie pulled you aside to fix up your makeup. Your stylists began smoothing out your skirt and making sure your knee high boots were securely on. Next was to get your earpiece on while one of the stage hands gave you your mic. From backstage you could hear the intro to the concert playing causing the fans to scream louder.

You got into place as you got the signal to start singing. You sang the opening lyrics of Raindrops (An Angel Cried) and began to smile as your fans sang along.

The platform began to move up when you finished and the beat of God Is A Woman began to play. You were now on the stage, the sea of white lights looking back at you. The adrenaline was still running through your veins. You performed the song, acing every move of the dance you’ve learned 10 months ago.

When the last note of God Is A Woman played, all the lights turned off except for the red lights on the stage.

“INGLEWOOD!” You yelled into your mic, your fans cheering even louder than before. You shared an excited smile with Brian.

“Welcome to the Sweetener World Tour!” And with that the opening notes of Bad Idea began to play, the show finally kicking off.

You were in the middle of singing R.E.M which was part of Act 2 of the concert. You moved towards the pit to see familiar faces beaming up at you.

“Boy, you’re such a drea— oh my god!” You squealed as you saw the pit full of your Marvel cast mates. You saw all the Chris’, both of the Tom’s, Robert, Scarlett, Elizabeth, almost everyone you’ve worked with in Marvel was there. You got down to your knees to touch their outstretched hands.

The fans screamed as the camera from stage panned down to the pit where all the actors were. You took the mic away from your mouth and leaned down to them.

“What are you guys doing here?” You asked them through the loud arena.

Scarlett, Brie, and Lizzie were the nearest to the stage.

“We’re here to surprise you! It’s your last show and we wanted to be here for it!” Scarlett yelled over the track that was playing.

“We’ll catch up later, keep going!” Lizzie urged you to continue the concert with a toothy grin.

You held onto Brie’s hand as you sang to them, “Inglewood let me hear ya’ll! Excuse me um...”

“I LOVE YOU!” The fans sang back to you, including your cast mates. You dusted your knees off and continued to walk around the ramp. Before you could leave, you sent an excited wave to Brie and the rest of them.

~After the show~

You hopped off the platform that brought you down from the stage and were greeted by a bunch of congratulations and cheering. You and your dancers shared another group hug.

“(Y/N)!” You heard a familiar voice yell. You follow the voice and see Anthony waving at you with his infamous grin. He was accompanied by the rest of the cast behind him. You run towards them and jump into Anthony’s outstretched arms.

“I’m so sorry, I’m sweaty, but I’m so happy to see all of you!” You wrapped your arms around Anthony’s neck as he spun the two of you around. He let you go and you were suddenly being pulled into hugs by everyone.

When you got to Robert, a proud smile was on his face as he cradled your face, “Sweetheart, that was amazing. You’ve outdone yourself.” He pressed a fatherly kiss to your forehead and pulled you into a hug.

“Thank you.” You laughed, your eyes welling up with tears once again. Next was Chris (E) who playfully shoved Robert.

“Stop it, you’re hogging her! Let me hug (y/n)!” He childishly whined. He gasped when he saw your eyes watering.

“And you made her cry! C’mere.” His arms enveloped around you as he hugged you tightly.

In your ear his whispered, “You absolutely killed it.”

You thank him and move on to Scarlett who already had her arms out for you, “Surprise!”

“This was your idea?” You asked her as she hugged you. A cheeky grin quirked on her lips.

“Maybe” she teased dragging the ‘e’. You hugged her again as she laughed into your shoulder.

“Thank you, Scar. This means so much.”

“It’s not a problem, honey. We just wanted to see you together while you did your thing up on stage.”

You were now full on crying through a smile as your Marvel family showed you mass amounts of love. You stumbled into Tom (Holland) who instantly grabbed you into a bear hug. Tom’s actually seen your show in London with his friends and brothers, so this was his second time seeing you perform.

“You know what’s so crazy?” He asked you leaning down to your ear so you can hear him.

“What?”

“It’s literally just as great as it was in London. Like everything looks the same, you sound exactly the same, everything! The show was fantastic!” He looked at you with wide eyes with so much amazement on his face.

You laughed at him and patted his shoulder, “Thank you, Tom.”

Suddenly there was a commotion a few feet away from you. You saw Robert standing on one of the cases your crew used to store equipment in.

“ATTENTION EVERYONE!” When everyone backstage was looking at him Robert sent them a sweet smile and was handed a megaphone.

“Alright, so I gotta say, (y/n), you definitely know how to throw a show. Everyone who was part of this tour, your hard work pays off because that show was the most fun I’ve had in a while! (Y/n), you keep surprising us everyday with your talent and I hope you get to do more of what you love in the future. As my way of thanking you all for throwing such an amazing night, I want to take out every single one of you for dinner! I just rented out a whole restaurant just for all of us and I hope to see all of you there!” Robert said into the megaphone. A round of cheers and claps were heard from everyone at the announcement. As everyone began to file out, you were being called to get out of your costume.

Before you can turn to leave you hugged Robert and looked at all your cast mates who showed up for the night.

“Thank you guys for being here, it really means a lot.” You sniffled, wiping a tear from your face.

“And you, I can’t believe you rented out a restaurant for my crew, thank you Robert.” The older man just waves you off as he slung his arm around your shoulder.

“Not a problem, sweetheart. We wanted to be here and we are all so proud of you, you’ve come a long way, (y/n).” He gave your shoulders a squeeze.

“Now run along now, you still need to get changed and I’m starving. Go.” He teasingly turned you towards your stylists. You rolled your eyes as you waved at all of them.

“We’ll see you at the restaurant!” You heard Brie yell after you. You quickly turn back, “OK, I LOVE YOU!”

The further you got you heard Evans scream, “I LOVE YOU TOO!” You turned down the hall, your laugh echoing against its walls.

That was definitely one way to end a tour.

[funkymbtifiction]

Hi Charity! I wanted to ask you for some advice. Not so long ago I came to terms that I am an enneagram 5 (w6, I think, though it doesn't really matter here). I see that some of my problems in communication comes from withdrawing from everyone when I am upset/stressed, and in result sometimes it really affects my relationships with other people. I am trying to not let myself self-isolate as much, and I push myself to maintain my relationships by texting/meeting up with people when I would normally come up with an excuse to cancel until the person would stop reaching out. But there is a new issue now - sometimes I struggle to, uh, perform the act of the communication? I find myself not knowing what to say and being dry, even if something would normally interest me. Usually, it's not that bad, but there was one time (still haunts me) where I physically couldn't force myself to say anything for one or two hours. I still feel guilty for that and at that time I thought the day was actually was going to be not that bad, so that sudden crush of sadness/negative feelings wasn't something I expected. If I knew it could get *that* bad, I would have just gone home. So the problem is that I feel like I'm wasting mine and my friend's time when I'm down, but at the same time I don't want to self-isolate anymore. I honestly feel like self-isolating would be the right choice not to ruin anyone's mood or waste time or forcing my friend's to spend time with me when it's not really fun for them. It's also really hard for me to share my feelings with anyone, I always feel the need to guard myself or else someone might hurt me if I open up. I think that I don't really have anyone to be vulnerable with. I'm also afraid that I when I'm upset I come across as more needy, so it reinforces the thought that I should distant myself in order to not be seen as such. I'm just lost at what I should do, honestly. I thought that trying to not let myself hole up in my room alone would improve things, but currently it seems that it's equally as bad. Thank you! 

I applaud you for trying something new and to push yourself out of your comfort zone, but it does seem like this is creating negativity in your life -- maybe you tried too hard to socialize, when you were tired or had nothing to say? It's important to think about your mental health in a situation like this -- if being alone too much isn't good for you, and being around people too much isn't good for you, what's a good balance between the two? Talking to people doesn't have to mean trying to share your feelings, it can just be being "with" them -- or talking excitedly about something you both love.

You really can't help your feelings -- they are something that just happens and you can't automatically be "on" for other people in a way that a higher Fe user could be. Sometimes you are going to be able to socialize, sometimes you need solitude and quiet in order to focus on whatever is bothering you. It might be best to decide how much alone time you need (self-preservation-wise... am I tired, hungry, do I need more sleep, down time, to be alone today?) vs. how much time you want to spend with others (what do they need from me, and what would be good for both of us)?

It's okay to cancel plans if you don't feel up to it, provided you are honest about it to the other person -- I am kind of down today, so I don't think I'd be good company -- do you still want me there?

There's also the question of... are the people you are making an effort to spend time with truly of interest to you, or are you drained by them? Good friendships stimulate you and don't feel like a chore, even as a 5. 5s are also the number on the Enneagram with the least amount of mental energy, which means they require the most alone time. You can't stop being a 5 and needing space, but choosing people to hang out with that stimulate your imagination and mind as a 5 will drain you less than just being with people for the sake of socializing more. Be discerning in who you choose to devote your precious limited energy to, and then don't feel guilty about being tired.

So, the solution -- be alone when you need to be. Socialize sometimes. There's no shame in that. It's who you are and it's okay.

[rumblelibrary]

I'm not sure if you have already done something like this before, and if you did, please let me know, I'd love to read it, BUT I was wondering if you could do a little thing, maybe with Sebastian Zöllner, where he is like totally behind on every fucking deadline, work is just piling up, he got into stress with his ex, the dishes are not done, he should go take out the trash, you know, everything is just piling up and he just cracks under the pressure, severely doubting his worth as a person. And his friend, the reader, gotta try their best to build him up again, telling him all the things they love about him, and it slowly turns into a love confession without them noticing.

Is this too elaborate, does that make sense for Seb? Idk. To me it does? Like he's always very...Seb around other people, but deep down I feel like he's always under this pressure to live up to his own and others expectations, wanting to be big and famous and perfect in a way.

I'm so sorry, brain go brrr.

Never Enough [Sebastian Zöllner x Reader]

Word Count: 4k Warnings: bad habits (heavy smoking and drinking), self deprecation, depression and some fluff in the end. A/N: I loved this prompt, I love to write Sebastian so thanks to you once more for giving me this opportunity

He should have probably realised something was wrong when the ashtray was vomiting cigarettes out from its dooming position beside the laptop.

He nervously used the left part of the one he just ended to scavenge some space and just pressed it along the others.

Or maybe when after another sip of the same cold coffee mixed with cheap gin he felt the walls of his stomach revolting and stirring against him, threatening a much bigger damage.

Or, again, when he felt like calling back Elke because he was so alone and he was hungry and tired, and she might hate him but he could pull some puppy eyes and maybe it would work. It usually did.

The truth was that he shouldn’t have taken up so many jobs, but the bank account was crying and he needed them, he needed the money.

But again: writing about the umpteenth girl- artist performing naked on a famous historic location?

Or do we have to talk about the way somebody splashed some colour here and there  on a canvas saying it is the catharsis of his young mind against the social construct?

Please, may God spare him from the man calling himself landscape artist because he takes pictures of naked girls on a field.

Charged up with this amount of nothingness, he could just write and delete, write and delete, words count going quickly up to 400 only to go back at 0 in a snap of his fingers over the buttons, because he couldn’t just tear them down. He had to give them some hope, a glimpse of potential he couldn’t see and he wasn’t even aware it existed. Each of them disgusted him, but he was specifically asked to be entertaining and not a killer with his words.

So he kept swiping up videos and photos of these artists, trying to find one thing, one holy grail to get attached to and finally write one good optimistic line in the middle of the words he had to pull up to keep a moderate tone.

He rubbed his temple running over his hairline, which by the way was perfectly fine, before his hand reached down and he touched his t-shirt pulling on the neckline to gather some air, he was wearing his pyjama still, white stained shirt on blue tartan pants. He raised up the shirt and bowed his head down giving in a long inhale from the inside and just cringed to himself.

He looked around as he couldn’t stand up, if he did then he will get only more distracted and these articles needed to be ready for tomorrow.

He noticed the spray against the mosquitos on the floor, those little bastards always hiding under his desk to bite his ankles, he picked it up and sprayed it over himself like it was perfume hoping to ignore the need of a shower for few more hours.

His eyes scanned the small studio flat he was living now: the dishes sticking out of the sink, the noisy fridge buzzing. The one table that was also his work desk filled with used mugs, stained plates covered in cigarettes and leftovers, empty packages of his favourite brand discarded everywhere: from the bathroom up to the couch and to the small bed he owned. Damn, if he run out of cigarette it will be hard to ignore how he also run out of food.

The space was dark and gloomy, some of his stuff still packed up, the fake pop art panting of him and Elke staring at him reminding him of his other loss.

He didn’t touch the bed in days, he just slept on the seat or on the couch.

His attention was attracted by his phone buzzing.

He sat up straight as it was her, it was Elke.

Did she sense his discomfort? 

“Elke” he picked up the call in a second.

“Wow, a quick answer, did you have your phone already in your hand or it happens just so late at night?”

Her sarcasm did’t go past him, but he just thought how long it was since he heard a human voice and not the recording of some idiot calling himself artist.

“No, I was thinking of you”

“Yes, sure, look I have sent you an email with the bills of the time you were here, the ones you have left to pay and it is only fair that you pay at least half of them”

“Sure” he just said it because he wanted to go past the point of money, he wanted her back. Maybe he could crush at her place, feel her hands through his hair, shower, sleep some good sleep and the articles will come around in few types “Elke, I was thinking we might…”

“I just called you for the bills”

“I know, but maybe we could have” his eyes darted at the top right of his laptop screen to see the time “a drink together?”

She huffed a laughter as he frowned lightly “I know you Seb, if it is money or sex what you’re looking for that door is closed and it has been for a long time”

“I know” he murmured as he let out a breathy sigh, a dooming sense of loneliness creeping over him like a giant spider ready to wrap him up and eat him “I just hoped…”

“Don’t hope Sebastian, you’re already an hopeless cause”

She hung up on him and he was left there, he kept that same pose with his phone against his ear. His eyes trailing once again over the empty page of his document on the screen, on the chaos surrounding him.

He nibbled on his bottom lip before running his tongue over the pained area.

He pushed the phone back down on the table with a tremble of his jaw and a shaky hand.

She was right.

What he did of his life anyway? He lost most of his occasions in life, he was now in his thirties and he concluded nothing of what he hoped to be, he failed in all the departments both as an artist and as a critic.

A jack of all trades is a master of none, and maybe only the first type of the famous quote could be applied to him.

He couldn’t even take the trash out or he couldn’t remember the last time he ate something that was vaguely resembling of fruits or vegetables. It is all good when you imagine yourself as a bohemian rooting against the world, when you convince yourself that’s only the proof you needed to know you are fighting well against a system of art that privileges banality and marketing over real artistic value and that, one day, all your struggles will be worth it.

Even Picasso was poor for a long time in Paris.

Damn, maybe to be in a situation like this in Paris would sound more romantic.

But the truth was: he never imagined to have to do it alone, that life would feel so overwhelming, that there wouldn’t be anything but extreme struggle, anger, loneliness and a terrible diet.

For a moment he wished to be a baby again, to be the bright boy he was and let mommy take care of his needs and his dirty shirt and empty stomach. He wished that maybe somebody noticed him before, that somebody saw his talent and helped him to pull it out instead of leaving him to do it on his own only to come late to every step.

And now it is too late, he is lost in the sea of terrible paid jobs and anguishing relationships, let’s not forget maybe he indeed had a receding hairline and he was doomed to get bold .

He squeezed his eyes as a soft sob took over his lip, hand running over his forehead as he pulled on his hair justifying his tears with some physical pain. He shook his head as he tried to gain back some composure, hand flung over to pick up his coffee mug and giving in a long gulp of the coffee, the same one he swore before to not touch again, only to almost choke on it, couching it out only to pick up the bottom hem of his shirt to clean his laptop screen.

He fucking hated to write on a computer, the old typewriters inspired him but that damn ink was too expensive now for his sore pockets.

He smirked to himself as he kept doing it, finding good excuses to call himself off any responsibility. But maybe Elke was right, well she surely was, she had two degrees, maybe he was really a lot cause. He frowned as he wiped slowly the screen with his already stained shirt, the wetness sticking then against his skin as soon as he let it go giving him another shiver.

He didn’t have even the strength to cry, he could only accept it was over.

The curse that he shouted out loud when he heard knocking at the door, smashing him out of his thought spiral, generated an immediate anger reaction from him.

“Fuck, shit, if it is the fucking neighbour, I swear I will kill her cat or that rat she has as cat, fucking hell”

He grumbled as he stood up moving across the table not caring about his state, he only wanted to crawl back into a ball and maybe nuzzle a bit somewhere.

When his death glare appeared after the door opened in a powerful swing his eyebrows lifted immediately finding you on the other side.

He blinked, one of those sleepy blinks where somebody closes his eyes and then opens them really wide to make sure it is not made up in their brain, that one.

His eyebrows furrowed as he stared at you 

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“You should wash your mouth with holy water Sebastian” you said shaking your head raising your arms to show him some paper bags “I am bringing food and body shower”

He shook his head “Are you calling me stinky?”

“I am” You quickly replied moving past him into his place ignoring his groan.

He stood by the door slowly closing it, he was sure that old bitch was looking through her peephole, only then he stared at you try to make your way into the filthy kitchen. He was really embarrassed about his antics, but surely this time he exceeded some record.

“I am speechless Seb, I helped you with the moving and this place seems to have taken over you” you said as you knew he was in some rut when he kept such a long phone silence.

He was usually always texting, sending memes or one sentence texts.

You cared about him, deeply, you knew he was full of flaws and little quirks, but that’s what made him special. Nevertheless, you were worried about the state of the place, how it showed the way he let himself get dragged through the days. So he observed you, better to say, your back, the way you moved around opening the window to let fresh air inside, turning on a lamp to make some light that wasn’t just the blue one of the screen. Pulling out commodities and food from your magic bags like some sort of Mary Poppins of struggling writers. How you poured soap in the dirty load of dishes and pans, the way you marched securely to his desk to pick up that filthy mug and you frowned just sniffing at it.

“Is that poison?”

“Rat poison” he corrected you.

You shook your head as you cleaned a glass and filled it with water and among the groceries you pulled out a banana.

“Have this now, it will help” you said and he took the glass with one hand and the banana with the other like his brain was shut down.

He stared at you as you leaned your head slightly on side, he went through bad times after the break up but you had never seen him in such a helpless state.

He was chaotic but he always loved to keep up his appearance, to give that handsome and damned kind of vibe.

“Sebastian” you called him as his eyes spaced out and now where back on you “Are you alright?”

He observed you, he stared at your face like he was trying to recognise you, truth it was he kept pushing himself to say yes, say yes, say it is all good, make a joke, a remark, keep it up. You don’t need his burden, you don’t need to hate him like Elke and others do.

Just say yes.

“No” he said as his lips trembled and you watched his ironic mask fall right in front of you as he looked away hiding his tears, real tears, not the ones he can play out whenever he needs.

Just as quickly as you gave him the banana and the water you took them off his hands afraid he might hurt himself by dropping the glass in particular.

"Seb" you called his attention as he sobbed moving like a bird trying to hide his face against his own shoulder.

You took his now empty hands dragging him toward the couch and kicking off the pile of dirty clothes and discarded books on top of it to make him sit down with you.

"Talk to me"

He didn't, the man that was never out of words, even in the times he should have been, was now silent as a tombstone staring away from you as you gave a gentle squeeze to his hands. It pained you to see him in such a state.

So weak, so helpless like a lost child.

"I can't help you if you don't talk"

Sebastian shook his head still staring at the wall.

"You can't help me"

"Is it about writing? I can proof read you, it will be a moment"

He shook his head again making, hair bouncing from side to side.

"No, it is not important if I write or not"

You frowned at that comment.

"What the hell?" you just blurted out "Seb you're a talented writer, you're passionate, funny, witty, why shouldn't it be important?"

He looked up at you shaking his head "I can't write, I can't put together two sentences"

Your eyes travelled onto his side profile, truth to be told he looked worn out but he was still handsome like only Sebastian Zöllner could be. He had that chaotic charm, even with a wrinkled suit he was fearless, strong, poignant. You couldn't avoid him, he owned every place he stepped in and you could feel his gaze run through your bloodstream.

When he asks a question, he meant it, it was a test run into your bones and you loved every second of it.

His lips tightened as he diverted his gaze finally to you. You knew his relationship with Elke was important, he cared about others even if he didn't show it daily like most people do.

"Is it Elke?"

"No, she was just right"

"About what?"

He gulped, his throat dry as he pulled his bottom lip in his mouth grinding his teeth over it like playing something through that gesture.

"About me"

"Breakups are always shit, don't you even.."

"No Y/N" he interrupted you, he was serious, maybe his voice trembled but he wasn't lying or playing some role "I am really a lost cause, I mean look at his place"

His hand waved around the small flat like a drunk orchestra director.

"It is pure trash, I haven't finished unpacking, I didn't have food until you came, I am unable to look after myself, to look after the people that I care about. I worked so hard to be an artist and then I became a critic and now I am so knee deep into my own shit that I have more debts than entries, more failures than successes, more haters than friends"

He gulped down, the waterline of his eyes dangerously red and he sniffled up as he let out a little weak whisper "I just wish I could disappear"

"No"

It came out of you like a lighting bolt, it surged out of you before you could even elaborate. Like an order. A command.

"Seb, you're now in a rough patch of life, but you have always worked hard and well as a writer"

"I am a writer because I failed as an artist"

"You're a writer because you know of what you're talking about, because you're able to see the difference between marketing and passion, between hard work and laziness, because you respect that profession and it makes you the best critic"

"I just want to destroy them all because I am envious, Elke always said I am fuelled by my own envy”

"I have read pieces of yours only encouraging the rightful and bringing down the real frauds"

He shook his head as he was just fixating on the wrong, on the flaws, on the problems.

You huffed cupping his cheeks to force him to look at your eyes.

"Look at me" you said not admitting replies "you are talented in what you do, you are one of the best in your field and you're not on some big magazine only because they know they will have to put up with your shit: with the fact you always meet the people, you look at art pieces in presence, you touch them, you research the colours, you scrutinise everything to the bone"

He took your hands hating to be held like that but he squeezed them in his owns.

"And yes, you're allergic to ironing clothes and washing dishes is your personal nightmare, and yes, you give out many temper tantrums and have a terribly dark sense of humour, you are a failure at time and money management, you love filthy rich stuff and smoke like your life depends on it"

He stared at you, he listened quietly as you knew him from so long and many people, Elke included, wondered what you gained from helping him or just being around him that much. He often teased his ex about being jealous of you and she always said that it was like being jealous of a mortgage.

"So you agree?"

 "I agree to say you are flawed like all of us, that you are just the perfect balance to your writing, you're what you write. You're passionate, you give out the two hundred percent of what you can give, you are like this, you go all-in in everything you do, there's no compromise, no mid way, no foreseeable change of direction, you speed up into the darkness and don't look back. You are bold, you take risks, you let people hate you because you do not compromise with who is son of who or who is the director of what gallery, you judge people over their real qualities. Because you talk to them in their face, because you don't hide that yes, you want to be great, because you're handsome and charming and smart, nobody can outsmart you in your field, not even that idiot you hate that much"

"Golo Fucking Moser" he murmured

"Golo Fucking Moser" you repeated with a chuckle "you don't have anything to envy to him beside the bruises he probably has on his knees for bending down to anyone"

He chuckled at that comment.

"And also, you're more attractive, that pisses off Seb, it is unfair to the poor man”

He leaned his head on side as you wouldn't normally shower him in compliments, he had enough ego for that, but you had never seen him like this and you wished to never see him again in such a state.

"You find me attractive?"

"Well for sure you're an eye candy" you joked

"I mean it"

You rolled your eyes blushing a bit and huffing a chuckle "I do, alight? It is universal knowledge"

He looked at you as he still held your hands in his, his thumbs making soft shapes over the back of your hand.

"That I am attractive or that you find me attractive?"

You groaned looking away with an embarrassed giggle “okay, okay, I see you're back in yourself, let's eat now"

You moved to stand up but he didn't do the same remaining sat in his spot.

"Tell me"

"I pumped your self esteem enough, now let me go"

He chuckled softly, he never really thought you'd be interested. He usually shows off so many bad traits that he has to tone himself down and really try hard to attract someone. It is all an effort on his part to appear better or at least less quirky.

And then now look at you, appreciating even his shit show.

"Y/N" he murmured giving you a soft squeeze. You kept silent not daring now to meet his gaze. He bowed his head trying to reach for your eyes with his gaze and he looked up at you, a smile that wasn't provocative over his lips.

You pulled back yanking your wrists off his grip to move straight into the kitchen corner.

You begun pulling ut some fresh vegetables and bread, you also got some cheese knowing he loves it, wanting him to have a good dinner.

He followed you almost immediately and soon you found his arms grasping you once more in a hug, his chest pressed against your back, his forehead on your shoulder.

"Seb, you..."

"I know, I stink, just give me a moment" he said and you obliged him gently caressing his arms around you.

You hated to be in the friend zone, but you wouldn't be able to survive to lose him forever or to have him joke about it.

Now he was quiet, tender like a hurt pup.

"Thank you, you know you can count on me too, right? For anything” he said and you chuckled softly “I know, you’re my favourite avenger”

He nodded brushing his crisp beard against your cheek and after few minutes stuck in that hug he dropped a kiss on your neck "love you”

He pulled back giving you a smile as he picked the shower gel you left on the counter bringing it with himself to the bathroom with a soft hum.

You smiled a bit bitterly to yourself as you guessed it was meant in a friendly way, but today it was alright. You could endure it. Also that kiss, he always did it when he was drunk, at parties or in the taxi back home after a viewing. It was his cuddly way to say things without saying them, without rambling, and you appreciated that silent language. 

Maybe now he was drunk over his own feelings.

Just like you.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief @thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme  @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling @everythingbeginsineternity-blog @archangelproperty

[managician]

Saw one of those "questions to ask your OTP", and a few stood out to me as perfect for Sontails:

"Who's adorable when they're sleepy, and who gets grumpy and irritable?"

"Who makes the other blush all the time and finds it adorable?"

"Who gets jealous easier?"

Hello! I love these questions, and you're right, they really do fit for these two. After some thinking I'd say I've got my answers down :)

"Who's adorable when they're sleepy, and who gets grumpy and irritable?"

Sonic would be really adorable when he's tired, imo. The guy's an adrenaline junkie and has crazy amounts of stamina, so when he actually hits his limit, he hits it hard.

I can see him getting more clingy and 'lazy' if he's sleepy, which Tails finds pretty endearing. Usually, Sonic tries to look strong and reliable in front of his friends, but he lets himself be more open around Tails in the rare times he's feeling truly exhausted. Tails also tries to let him be as clingy as he wants with hugs. Boyfriend privileges all around.

Conversely, Tails is a handful when he gets sleepy. If he's sleepy but not resting, it means he's busy working on a project / prototype / research that has caught his attention, and he will not put it down, no matter how much his eyelids keep drooping closed.

But we all know our performance gets worse when we're tired. That'd make him mess up and get irritated down the line. Thankfully, Sonic's used to dealing with any of his moods and will always manage to drag him to bed, haha ^^

"Who makes the other blush all the time and finds it adorable?"

Sonic, absolutely! He already thinks Tails is the cutest guy he's ever met and he just gets even cuter when he's blushing, so he tries to get it to happen as much as possible.

This involves casual displays of affection, mushy compliments praising Tails' abilities to hell and back, and making sure he knows how grateful Sonic is to have him in his life.

Even if Tails understands Sonic partly acts that way to get him flustered, all his loving words are 100% genuine. Sonic really does love him that much, which is what drives Tails to look like a tomato every single time.

Tails himself would also enjoy making Sonic blush, though. Stuff like their interactions in Colours or Frontiers makes me think that they both get their own fun out of seeing the other grow embarrassed, honestly. I just see Sonic succeeding more in the task.

"Who gets jealous easier?"

I don't see either of them as terribly jealous people, but my pick for this one would be Tails, easy.

Since Sonic is a mainstream hero, he receives plenty of attention from other people on a daily basis, many of whom are friends he shares a deep and/or unique bond with.

Tails has been shown to struggle with self-confidence issues before, even regarding something as obvious as whether Sonic really needs him around or not. It's a no-brainer to imagine that he could end up feeling bad over it.

However, it'll always be a case of misplaced jealousy, of course! Sonic couldn't and wouldn't replace him for anything in the world, he'll reassure Tails of that whenever the other needs to hear it.

One could make the argument that Sonic is super protective of Tails and thus would also get easily jealous over him, yet I find it way harder to see it happening. He trusts his partner and doesn't want to put their bond into question.

...It's a different story if we're talking about any of the media where Tails has a canon love interest and Sonic is secretly in love with him, but those would need a separate answer. xD

Thank you for giving me an excuse to talk about the boys! It was really fun to give these questions some thought.

[stressy-enby]

Could I have Iida with a reader who is a equestrian

(A rider or a performer on horseback) basically the reader rides horses secretly because she doesn’t want everyone in class 1-A to call her a horse girl! But one day Iida attends a show with his family and to his surprise he sees his classmate/crush as one of the riders! I’m a equestrian and it be so cool to see more about 1-A and horses!

Ok so I am by no means an equestrian, HOWEVER I do have some experience with horses and horseback riding. It’s very minimal experience, tho lmao

You didn't specify if these should be headcanons or a one shot, so I just did headcanons because it'll make things easier on me and my lack of equestrian knowledge. Also I'll get this done faster. Thank you for requesting!!

Masterlist

. . .

You have the tightest schedule out of everyone in your class

For starters, UA isn’t shy on giving it’s students copious amounts of homework almost every night

Plus you’re in the hero course, so you have a lot of extra training and fitness stuff you try to do every day

And THEN you have your equestrian lessons twice a week

And that’s when you don’t have a show coming up. You tend to spend more time with your horse than you do other humans in the weeks leading up to a showcase

Needless to say, you don’t have a lot of time for extra activities, even if they’re with your friends

They don’t even know you do horse riding

You stave off your friends by levying excuses of doing “extra training”

Which isn’t even a lie, you just don’t specify what kind of training it is

You made the mistake of telling people in middle school that you were an equestrian. Most people found it cool, but there will always be assholes in the world

You couldn’t shake off the “horse girl” nickname until you’d graduated middle school, wherein you vowed to keep your sport a secret from then on out

So, even though you felt bad about keeping the secret from your friends, it felt nice to have something to yourself.

Hero studies were stressful and tiring, and sometimes it just felt good to visit the horses and relax for an hour or two

 Enter Tenya Iida, who is especially disappointed with how little time you spend with him your classmates

Being as taken with you as he is, he spends a lot of time trying to figure out what it is you do outside of school

Because it surely can’t just be extra training. Midoriya does extra training. He runs himself into the ground, but you always seem invigorated whenever you return to dorms after... whatever it is you’re doing

Whenever he brings it up though, you always insist it’s just extra training or working out

You get him to leave you alone when you promise to hang out with him and the rest of your friends next week, when you “have less going on”

You didn’t even notice the hopeful smile and light blush Iida wore after you’d assured him you’d hang out. You were too busy thinking about your upcoming show that weekend

You snuck out of the dorms bright and early on Saturday morning, excitement and nerves coursing through you

Iida also had plans that weekend

His parents were going to be busy, so Tensei had suggested they go to an equestrian showcase that was happening on Saturday. It sounded interesting enough, and Tenya loved spending time with his brother

So there he was, bug eyed as your name was being announced over a loud speaker 

Everything suddenly fell into place as you and your steed cantered out into the stadium

“Hey, isn’t that one of your classmates?” Tensei asked, watching as you lead your horse to a line of hurdles

“Yes,” Tenya swallowed thickly, unable to take his eyes off of you. “I wasn’t even aware she did horseback riding.”

He stiffened every time you performed a risky trick, but cheered the loudest when you’d inevitably nail it

By the end of the show, when people started getting up to leave, he whipped out his phone, sending a quick message

I saw your show, you were fantastic! Is this what you’ve been disappearing off to?

You saw the text several minutes later, after you’d gotten changed and been congratulated by your instructor multiple times

You felt a sudden chill pass through your body at the shock of being found out, but it was quickly replaced by a warm tingly sensation that you couldn’t quite place

Thanks, lol. Didn’t expect anyone from school to be here. Yeah, this is my “extra training”

Don’t tell the others, will you? I like having something to myself like this

Barely a minute passes when your phone pinged

You’re secret’s safe with me, so long as I get invited to your future shows

[usedtobe-angstyoikawa]

Found you

Oikawa Tooru x gn!reader

Summary: you fell in love with him at the wrong time, slight enemies to lovers trope

Warnings: angst (disappointed but not surprised)

Word count: 1909

a/n: sorry I’m a sucker for pain and I’ve been CRAVING unrequited-love-kinda-heartbreak for the past week so yeah sorry again. Also I just finished reading the song of Achilles and didn’t cry so I NEED this

———————————————————————

You first thought he was an asshole. Always wanting to be the center of attention, being the teacher’s pet but talking shit about them as soon as they turned around to continue with the lesson. He was the typical perfect boy who everyone loved, so sweet, so polite, so talented. Or so they thought.

You changed school during your third year of high school and started going to the same one as your childhood friend, Aoba Jōsai High. Kyōtani (aka mad dog) wanted to join the volleyball team but didn’t want to go alone ‘cause he knew he’d screw it up and go back to training by himself. So, you offered yourself to go with him and apply for the manager position. Boy was that the worst choice you’d ever made. Not only did you have to spend lots of time (worth of studying) in that stupid gym but you also had to deal with their self centered captain. The first thing he said to you was “hey cutie where’s my hug at” (a/n: I’m so sorry but he would) you wanted so badly to punch him in the face, but you knew better so you just rolled your eyes and ignored him.

He kept flirting with you every now and then but he grew tired of your indifference pretty quick and started behaving like the spoiled child he was. He’d argue with you during practice over some stupid shit or blame you for having given him really cold water to drink during the last match on purpose just to make his throat sore and sabotage his performance. You were petty and didn’t let him off with this behavior so easily, you’d point out every wrong answer he gave during class just to piss him off or boo him every time he’d miss a serve.

The team seemed to find your relationship with Tooru entertaining. They’d make bets without the two of you knowing, wondering who’d win the next argument or how long it would take you to punch their captain in the face.

After a few months as the team manager you grew closer to the boys and started to listen to their personal problems, giving them the best advice you could think of in order to help them out. They became your friends. Even Oikawa came to you every once in a while to ask for your opinion on some ugly outfit he was thinking of wearing to some party, only to then clarify that he was asking you so he’d do the opposite of what you’d said.

Eventually the bickering ceased and you two started to get along, greeting each other when you crossed in the hallways and making small talk when you were the only ones left in the gym. That last one happened very often. Oikawa was known not only for his good looks and popularity but also for his hard work and volleyball skills. You’d seen him staying at the gym practicing until god knows what hours of the night, Iwaizumi always being the one trying to get him to stop but failing.

One night it was just the three of you, you were about to leave when the two boys started screaming at each other. You’d seen this exact same scene before, Iwa begging him to stop and Tooru yelling at him for not being a good friend and support him. But this time it was different, Iwa was tired of this and didn’t know how to help his stubborn best friend so he exploded.

“ You are a stupid, selfish asshole ” were the words that left the boy’s mouth “ You’re so blinded by your goals that you don’t realize how bad the people who love you are suffering. All because of you and your stupid need for perfection. And I’m tired of this shit”

After that he left the gym and headed home, leaving you alone with Oikawa. The boy seemed to ignore your presence as well as his friend’s words and continued with his practice. He served over and over again, running out of breath with every hit. You didn’t really understand what the big deal was, why he would overwork himself or why Iwa was so mad at him.

“Hey, shittykawa ” you called, expecting him to ignore you. He turned around, volley ball in hand and nodded his head at you.

“What? You gonna yell at me too?”

“No, actually I just wanted to ask you what is going on. I’m still new to this whole manager thing but I’m pretty sure part of my work is to make sure you guys’ heads are working all right, and yours seems to be a bit fucked up ” it wasn’t until the words left your mouth that you realized what you had said. You looked up at him and waited for the argument to start. Again, you were surprised.

“I know, I can act like an idiot when I’m hating myself” his answer was meant to be sarcastic but his face said otherwise.

That day something changed between you two. You sat in the middle of the court and Oikawa opened up to you. He told you about his dreams and goals and how close he had gotten to achieving them, only to have them snatched away because of some mistake he had made. Kyōtani had told you about the match against this Karasuno team and how the lost had affected them, but you felt there was something he wasn’t telling you. Now you understood. Oikawa blamed himself for it. And that wasn’t all, he also talked about the amount of stress and pressure he had put himself under and how tired he was of giving it all only to be beaten by more talented people. You watched him cry and throw balls at the wall, screaming about some first year student who was a better setter than him even though he had worked ten times harder. He was mad, furious but also exhausted. You didn’t really know what to say so all you did was listen to him. Once he had calmed down he apologized for his behavior and walked you home.

That night you couldn’t sleep. You hadn’t expected to see that side of him, you hadn’t even considered that maybe that annoying egotistical self was just his shield, a mask. Ever since that night you started being nicer to him, asking him how his day was going, if he had drank enough water, etc. You were becoming friends.

It wasn’t long until Oikawa’s fans started rumors about the two of you being a couple, the team would make fun of him but he’d just brush it off and deny it. He was Oikawa Tooru, the great king, he couldn’t date someone like you. That’s the lies he’d tell himself but the truth was that he had found a good friend in you and was scared to loose that.

Late night talks in the gym became a regular, he’d always walk you home after practice (along with mad dog ‘cause he was your neighbor) and every now and then you’d have lunch with him. At first it felt nice, you liked being friends with Tooru and being able to help him out with his problems, letting down his walls and showing you his true self. It was close to the end of school that you started to feel weird around him. Suddenly the gym seemed a bit smaller than it used to be, the air felt a little dense too specially after watching Oikawa train intensely, sweat running down his neck. It’d get harder to swallow and talking to him without going blank was a challenge, something was wrong with you but you couldn’t tell what.

You didn’t tell mad dog about it, knowing he wouldn’t really have an answer to give you, so you kept it to yourself and waited for it to go away. It didn’t. You started to think about him on a regular basis, wondering what it’d feel like to hold his hand in yours or to cup his face and give him a soft pe- wait what, oh shit. Could it be? Could you be in love with Tooru?

One night, while he was walking you home after practice you decided to put your feelings to the test. Without really thinking much about it you got your hand out of your pocket and grabbed his hand. It felt cold, harsh, it wasn’t soft at all like you had imagined but you still liked holding it.

“ What are you doing?” you looked up at him with a boring expression on your face, his cheeks were... red?

“ I’m holding your hand” god you were stupid.

“Yeah, I can see that. Why?”

“ I don’t know it just... looked cold, I’ve heard you have cold hands and so I thought I’d help you out” it sounded like a better excuse in your head.

“ Oh, eh okay, thanks I guess?” He gave you a small smile and squeezed your hand, holding it tight until you reached your home.

After that incident you decided you were definitely in love with him. That same night Oikawa realized his feelings towards you were purely platonic, he loved having a friend outside of the volleyball team who could see him for who he really was and would not be afraid to judge him, you cared about him and weren’t afraid to show it. He remembered the words you’d said to him that night at the gym after his fight with Iwa.

“You’re lucky to have someone who cares so much about you, I can really tell he loves you. I know you probably can’t see it right now, but all those things he said he only did cause he’s worried you’re gonna get yourself hurt. He loves you”

He loves you.

The graduation day came and you all cried, laughed and hugged each other. You had planned to confess your feelings to Tooru once the ceremony was over, but before you could get a change it all went to shit. It’s like it all happened in slow motion, him grabbing your hands and pulling you into his arms, making you feel so warm inside.

“ Thank you for giving me a second chance, you’re such a good friend” Ouch. “ I need your advice once more, please?” He looked at you with his puppy eyes and you couldn’t say no. He took you away from the crowd of students and guided you through the halls, finally sitting on the steps of the stairs.

“Okay, so, what is it?” A part of you hoped this was a love confession, the other part knew that it wasn’t.

“ I’ve been thinking about what you said to me that night at the gym” he started “ The night I had a fight with Iwaizumi” his checks were turning red, he was playing with the rings on his fingers, and suddenly you understood. This was a love confession, except he wasn’t confessing to you.

“ You love him” Tooru looked up at you and smiled, you’d never seen him smile so bright.

“ I think I do, but I’m scared. He’s my best friend you know, there’s a lot at risk. I couldn’t bare to loose his friendship over some crush.” He let out a frustrated sigh. “But I’m sure this isn’t it, it’s not just a crush” Ou-“ I love him” -ch.

Next part