#but i was getting distracted by this during prayer
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NaPoWriMo #11: A ovillejo
This wasn’t an official prompt, but I was looking up poetic forms and was so enchanted by the ovillejo that I had to try my hand at it.
Catechism
Who’s given rule o’er everything? The king!
Who offers prayers for most and least? The priest!
What’s offered up for all our vice? The sacrifice!
Not any mortal works suffice To cleanse the sin that man has done So we rely on God’s own Son The king, the priest, the sacrifice
#napowrimo 2024#poetry#maybe a too-trite take on the subject#but i was getting distracted by this during prayer#and realized that god has an awful lot of titles#which is very useful for this structure#i would like to try it out for other subjects though#it's just such a fun little sing-songy structure and i'd like to see what one can do with it#i do like the official prompts by the way#i've been building up a couple ideas from previous days' prompts#but these shorter ones are coming together faster#i do want to get those other poems out before the prompts become too outdated though
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You ever say to urself that ur gonna do a quick 5 minute prayer, and then u look at the time and boom it’s been over 2 hours?? Cuz that happens to me way too many times
#adhd babyyyy#happened to me the other night#I was up past 2am ;-; barely got any sleep cuz I got too into prayer lmao#and my prayers aren’t even that serious lmao I get distracted and go on tangents during prayer all the time#just a silly little guy who gets too into it and loses track of time#hellenic polythiest#hellenic pagan#pagan#jay says stuff
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the better friend
f!reader x san x mingi ft ateez smut | mdni 7.3k a good friend lets a friend watch but a better friend lets him join nsfw tags under the cut
idol!au, dom bf!san, switch simp!mingi (rengoku hair mingi because im weak for him), a teeny tiny bit of plot, san is an evil genius in this, biting, marking, exhibitionism/voyeurism (mingi peeping at reader and san), sensory deprivation (blindfold), suspicion of dubcon but it's cleared out, masturbation (m), oral (m), fingering (f), threesome with sangi, unprotected sex (don't do that kids), praises and degradation (good girl, darling, princess... but also slut, whore, etc), lots of begging, so. much. teasing, kitty slaps <33333 (san is the kitty slapper™), finger sucking (f & m), ruined orgasm (f), dumbification (reader and mingi are fucked stupid), sloppy seconds, cum play (lots of cum), multiple orgasms (f & m), overstimulation (m), facial (f), a bit of spit kink, squirting, lowkey wholesome ending (we love to see it)
this a sequel to the good friend but it can be read as a stand alone. you just have to know san and reader have been dating for a long time and mingi has been simping for reader for almost as long.
a/n: i really went all in tbh. i dont know what happened but like. this fic is filthy and I LOVE IT. also consider this our collective manifestation prayer circle to achieve barricade tickets for the upcoming tour <3
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Usually you wouldn’t watch the concert from the crowd. San said it would be too distracting to see you in the pit of faces along with the cheering crowd of entranced fans. Moreover, he could perform any song for you whenever you wanted, you simply had to ask. But you always argued it wasn’t the same looking from backstage because the angle was all wrong and the sound wasn’t as clear. And for the private concerts, they didn’t have the sparkly outfits and San didn’t have the same drive, the same aura he had on stage.
“Even with the best will in the world I can't cheer as loud and stroke your ego as good as a crowd of tens of thousands of Atinys chanting your name in unisson.”
San only sighed. All those points were indeed valid. And he had to admit defeat.
“Just this once, ok?” and you practically jumped in his arms and kissed him all over his pretty face which traded the deep creases between his straight brows and the pout for an amused smile on his lips. “But you gotta promise me to blend in” he said sternly, momentarily getting out of the array of kisses to make sure he got his point across. You nodded firmly.
“Don’t worry too much about it Sannie~” you said before hugging him again.
“Yeah…” he said and you felt his cheek lifting against yours once more. An idea blossomed within him.
***
The concert was insane. You were so glad you had finally convinced your performer boyfriend. Being there in the crowd felt so much different from backstage. There you could cheer and enjoy the show in a way that was so much more intense and raw. You screamed and chanted and sang. You did everything. Yeosang even waved at you and you waved back. But it all felt and looked like a normal fan to idol interaction. So you were doing a pretty good job at keeping your promise to your boyfriend.
Speaking of the devil, that man captivated you. His aura on stage was unparalleled. His moves were sharp, his eyes focussed, his voice powerful and stable. He was incredibly professional.
He perfectly conveyed every emotion of each act so perfectly. His delivery carried out sorrow and depth throughout the emotional songs and his moves inspired power and aplomb during the upbeat and energetic ones.
The fact that he still manages to surprise you every time with his talent and drive is incredible in itself. You were there every step of the way of his journey. You met a kid with a dream and now you stood in front of a man with passion.
And what a man he was. You couldn’t get enough of him, enough of the way he moved so effortlessly on stage, enough of the way his presence filled the venue entirely. You couldn't take your eyes off him. The way the tight black sleeveless top hugged his frame, how his broad shoulders moved and accompanied every beat, how the sweat rolled off his temples and neck to get soaked by the black fabric, how his prominent muscles flexed and relaxed, the way the light bounced off his glossy bronzed skin.
He was born to be on this stage of that you were convinced without the shadow of a doubt.
But curiously when you weren’t eyeing your boyfriend like candy you found your eyes weirdly gravitating toward another member… Mingi. Well, no it wasn’t that weird, after all Mingi was your friend, a very good friend. Yeah it was only normal that you wanted to witness him in his element too.
A friend cheering for a friend.
Everything was perfectly normal. Everything? Even the thrill you felt when he delivered powerful and incisive rap verses with that low voice that was his signature? Even the tingle you felt in your guts when you saw him perfectly execute the body waves? Even the heat rushing to your chest and face when you saw the way his flexible hips rolled and thrusted? Even the unquenchable thirst you felt when you noticed the way his lips rounded up around the water bottle as he threw his head back and swallowed in big gulps, droplets of sweat running down the column of his throat and dripping at the soaked ends of the bright orange and red hair? Yes! Normal! Everything. Just normal…
But what was it, that you felt your eyes locked with his and you noticed he was also watching you. A fleeting second that seemed to last for a lifetime, hung in between the tensed and humid air. A second that silenced the crowd around you. And as quick as your eyes met his, the contact was broken.
San once again smirked.
And the show went on.
***
When the show ended you waited a little for the venue to empty. Some people were still hanging around chatting excitedly about the fresh core memories they had made or taking selfies to ensure the memories stayed vivid for a long time. But you managed to sneak behind the barricades unnoticed.
You found the members exchanging and laughing at some minor unnoticed mistakes that happened that you didn’t even catch.
“Y/n-ah!!” Wooyoung was the first one to notice you. And he wrapped his arms around your nape lovingly. “How was the show? Did you like it? Who was the most handsome back there? Was it me? Don’t say San or I will get mad! It was me, wasn’t it?”
You only laughed returning his warm embrace.
“You’re lucky Mingi isn’t here when you get this handsy with y/n” Yunho remarked, crossing his arms on his chest. You and Yeosang were the only ones that appeared remotely confused by the statement.
“You mean San?” Yeosang asked, in an attempt to clear out the confusion but Yunho only shook his head.
“San doesn’t mind it as much.” Yunho added.
“Mingi is the one that only tolerates San being all touchy touchy with y/n” Seonghwa said, as he was removing his mic pack from his back pocket.
You were still very much perplexed but when you went back to look at Yeosang he was just nodding knowingly in approbation. You decided to not pay more attention to the strange exchange because you only wanted to congratulate San.
“Speaking of my wonderful boyfriend. Any idea where he’s hiding?”
Hongjoong shrugged as he looked around.
“San and Mingi already went back to the dressing rooms, I think” Jongho said.
“Thanks big baby” you said, ruffling his hair and fleeing instantly while you heard him complain about it in the distance.
Once you reached the hall of individual dressing rooms you rushed to San’s door ready to barge in before you heard a muffled conversation coming from the other side. You couldn’t make much of what was being said but you recognized the voices without a doubt. You decided to knock before letting yourself in carefully.
“Oh! y/n, baby” San rushed to you as soon as you entered while Mingi stood there and gave you a silent nod and an awkward half smile (the signature business smile as Yunho liked to call it). You returned the smile, perfectly mirroring Mingi’s awkwardness. “So how was the show?” San continued paying no mind to Mingi anymore, solely focussing on you.
“I’m gonna get going” Mingi said, somewhat hurriedly before walking past you and heading towards the door. Before closing it he exchanged a knowing glance with San who returned it with a nod, you tried to decipher the unreadable expression on your boyfriend’s face but to no avail. And your tall fire haired friend disappeared promptly behind the door. Something felt strange about the whole ordeal but you couldn't pinpoint it.
But after the tension you felt looking at Mingi during the concert you didn’t have it in you to bring it up, to bring him up. You wanted to focus on your boyfriend. That was the best thing to do… for everyone.
“So~ baby ~. Did you enjoy yourself?” San asked and he snaked his strong arm around your waist, his skin still had a light sheen of sweat about it.
“You were incredible!!” you said enthusiastically, trying your best to get rid of the outlandish feeling and the lingering guilt.
“Was I, huh? Really?” he said, curious to hear more. You knew how much San liked to be praised so you went on.
“You’re the performer of the century! Your voice was so good like baby your mic was ON!” San nestled his face in the crook of your neck.
“Go on” he said as he was planting soft kisses on your skin. His hands were now roaming your body sliding up your arms and down your spine to the small of your back and up again. He was really enjoying the praises, so much so that the atmosphere shifted again to feel a little heavier, a subtle change that you picked up on right away. After dating San for so long you knew him all too well to not know what the soft touches and gentle kisses on your neck meant. So you matched his energy. What better way to chase away Mingi’s memory than to let your boyfriend fuck you stupid until you could only remember his name and the way his cock felt inside you?
“Yes. You looked so focussed and you looked so good.'' Another kiss and another, slower, lingering, warm. “I couldn't take my eyes off you” you felt him smirk against your skin. That was a lie. He knew that but somehow that lighted a fire in him. And he threw a look to the ajar door of the dressing room.
“Fuck you smell so good baby” San huffed pushing his hardening cock onto your hip and you bit your lip to repress a moan. “It was so hard not to look at you while you were down in the pit” He breathed against your skin. “I wanted to make you step on that stage and take you right there.” He pushed his cock with more intent onto you. “I wanted everyone to see you. I wanted everyone to know what a good little slut you can be for me” This time the kiss had more teeth, you felt him bite onto your neck. “Can you imagine? All those eyes on you?”
This mere vision had you moaning and throwing your head back. In a flash your brain played it like a movie for you: you, sprawled out onto the stage, being a good girl for your boyfriend. Your face flushed and your folds glistening with need. While he pushed into you under the roars of the crowd. Under their gaze. Under his gaze. Mingi looking at you being fucked full of cock and cum. Mingi looking at you… The thought sent a wave of arousal through your guts and you felt your panties becoming uncomfortably wet.
“Fuck” San complained in a short breath, his rumbling voice bringing you back. “I want you so fucking bad” the urgency that laced his low voice made the carnal confession that much more real. The sexual tension was almost palpable.
“Then what are you waiting for?” you said teasingly, pressing your thigh up his groin and you felt him melt into the skin of your neck with a small gasp. You smirked, satisfied.
“Fuck baby you’re so so bad” he teased and extended his hand to the clothing rack of gaudy and studded stage outfits that was next to you. “I want us to play today” his fingers interlaced with a silk scarf that you believed belonged to one of Yunho’s fits from a previous stage. “What about a little sensory deprivation play? What do you say baby?” He asked, holding the makeshift blindfold.
You thought of it for a second. Any other time you would have jumped on the occasion but now… your goal was precisely to look at San to forget… well everything else. There’s really no telling what your imagination will run to if your eyes aren’t able to only take in the figure of your boyfriend. And that scared you a little bit. San sensed it right away.
“You know you can trust me right?” you knew that much of course you could trust him. But could you trust yourself?
“I know what you like, baby don’t worry. Let’s try something new, okay?”
“Okay” you finally exhaled.
***
Mingi didn’t know what he was still doing there. Hunched over and peeping through the small gap of the door like a creep. He should go, he should have gone a long time ago. That was just a crazy idea. What kind of friend just agrees when he’s asked to watch his friend and his girlfriend (who also happened to be his crush) fuck? He should have declined and left but no. He said yes. And he didn’t even think twice, didn't even question it. He just blurted yes like a pathetic simp that’s been waiting for the occasion forever. (That was true unfortunately but Mingi wasn’t ready to admit that to himself). Now San probably thought he was a weird fucking pervert. A fucking freak. But he wasn't…right? Right! Yeah, of course he wasn’t! So he should leave… He should leave like now. But he couldn't.
He couldn’t when he saw your face change as San buried his face into your neck. He loved the way your eyes changed when he saw San roll his hips against yours. The whole aura about you changed, your gaze darkened but also your voice. It became lower, more sultry. He couldn’t make out what you two were saying but he didn’t have to because the non verbal language was more than enough to understand the simple primal interaction that was happening between you two.
You were about to fuck…
When San grabbed Yunho’s silk scarf and held it to you. Mingi felt your hesitation but then an instant later San was carefully tying the silk ribbon at the back of your head. Not too tight just enough to keep you from seeing anything. And just like that in a second it was dark.
Mingi watched his friend guiding you to the vanity and you giggled playfully as his large hands snaked to your thighs and grabbed your ass to hoist you up the furniture, pushing the makeup products in the process, one lipstick rolling off the surface and on the ground. Neither of you both even realized and Mingi couldn’t care less especially now that San’s hand left your hip to turn around and signal Mingi to enter back into the room.
His heart sunk into the pit of his stomach. Was he really about to do that? Yeah of course he was. Because his body was moving on its own, feeling the irrepressible pull, the inexplicable magnetism he felt for you from that very first day in Gang-nam.
San’s hand moved to his lips to signal his tall friend not to make any noise. And as if he was floating Mingi found himself holding his breath and standing to your side ogling you hungrily as San focussed back on you. His hand leaving his lips to ride your skirt up your hips and revealing the black lace panties.
“Did you know we were going to do that?” your boyfriend asked and you didn’t need to see to know about the shit eating grin on his face. “Is it why you wore such easy-access clothes?”
You gasped and bit your lip. You couldn't see but you could feel. San’s warm hands on your thigh rose goosebumps on your skin. The heightened sensations made more arousal pool in your panties.
“Answer me, baby” San said, low voice taking on a commanding tone before suddenly pulling on your blouse, popping open every single one of your snap buttons and just like that your black lace bra was also on display.
And Mingi thought he was going to explode. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, he had to clench his fist so hard and only the dull pain in his palms kept him from gasping at the breathtaking view. How fucking beautiful could you be?
San grabbed a fist full of your breasts kneading them roughly through your undergarment to urge an answer out of you
“Yes!” you hurriedly replied. Arching your back into his touch. “I wore this skirt and blouse because I know how much you like to rip them off”
“Good girl”
You heard your boyfriend hum in satisfaction and what you didn't hear was Mingi biting down on his lip so hard he could have drawn blood. But he couldn’t do otherwise when San’s fingers hooked themselves on the waist band of the lace and dragged the article of clothing along your thighs until it hung loosely on one of your ankles.
“Show me everything” San said in a breath, harshly tugging on your bra as your breasts jumped out and spilled to each side of your chest.
Mingi repressed a strangled gasp in the back of his throat as his dripping cock strained against the tight concert attire.
“I said everything baby” San said and you knew exactly what he meant. Slowly you spread your legs to let the vanity light shine right onto your heat as everything remained dark on your part.
Mingi felt like his brain was going to give out as your body was revealed. Your perfect breasts and hardened nipples and of course your dripping core. Long strings of slick linked your hole to the skin of your inner thighs. Mingi felt dizzy at the sight.
“Good girl” San praised again. “You always get wet so easily don't you?” he chuckled while you fought the urge to touch yourself. “Good little slut” he praised again, his hands dipping between your thighs and aiming right away for your clit.
You pushed your hips onto his touch and moaned as he circled your bundle of nerves exactly how you liked it.
“Fuck Sannie” you whined. “More please”
“Want your cute little cunt finger fucked?” San cooed with his honey toned voice. And you nodded enthusiastically. But that only earned you a sharp slap on your exposed center. The wet clap resounded in the empty room. It seemed amplified for you. You moaned loudly at the stinging feeling, the delicious and unexpected pain made your legs tense up and shake slightly.
“You’re wearing a blindfold, not a gagball, princess. Use your words” San said sternly landing another slap on your swollen clit before gently circling it again.
“Y-yess!! Yes!!! P-please. Want your fingers inside” you replied in a strangle moaned, your hips uncontrollably following San’s every move.
Mingi’s jaw dropped to the floor he never knew you’d enjoyed such things, he never knew you’d enjoy the harsh tone of voice and the pain but there was no doubt you were actually loving every single second of this. Mingi was certain of it when he saw the way your cunt reacted to each little slap, the way you quivered, the way you rolled your hips into San’s hand, the pleasured moans that cascaded from your lips. Mingi couldn't take it anymore and without even realizing it he found himself palming his hard and leaking cock through his pants.
“Good girl” San praised right before pushing two fingers inside your tight heat, curling them right into your sweet spot. You felt your concerns melt right away as you felt the two digits permeate you. The familiar feeling of the ring on his index made your mind go blank at the pleasure you felt radiating from your very core.
“F-fuck.. Sa-annie…” you breathed out with difficulty.
“Shhh. That’s it baby. I got you” San cooed, laying his other hand on your thigh, stroking it lightly. “You’re so good baby. You take my fingers so well”
The praises were setting your mind and body on fire, and you were giving in to the brazier. You moaned louder as San was pumping in and out of your cunt more rapidly, dragging out the wet squelching sounds that bounced off the walls and came back to your ears.
And Mingi’s too. He was completely entranced by the way your cunt was sucking in San’s fingers. You were so eager for them, your pussy clenching and throbbing around them every time he pulled out and welcoming them back when he pushed back in creating more thick and clear slick to gush out of your hungry little hole, the pull of arousal soon forming a small puddle in San’s palm. Mingi couldn’t think anymore, he could only rub his painfully hard cock as the wet precum stain became visible through his pants.
“Baby are you going to cum?” San asked, his other hand leaving your thigh to lay flat on your stomach and drawing quick circles on your clit with his thumb.
“Yesss” you said through gritted teeth. But as you felt the familiar build up almost reach the peak it went away. San withdrew his fingers and took them out of your poor confused little cunt. Leaving you there to clench around nothing and whines slipped from your lips at the sudden loss of the fullness.
“You’re so greedy today” San said before slapping your eager little cunt again. You moaned and shook under him, fighting the urge to close your legs. “I’m not done playing with you”
San started to rub your clit again with his thumb with one hand while he lifted the other slick coated one to his tall friend. He wanted to chuckle but fought against it when Mingi looked back at him with puzzled puppy eyes. So he approached his hand closer to his face and mouthed “taste her”.
Mingi’s brain had given up a long time ago, so he was moving only on instincts when he opened his mouth and licked around his friend's digits as silently as possible. That was a dream come true never in a lifetime he would have hoped to taste you like this. Ever. You tasted so sweet and sinful, the velvety nectar slided on his tongue so smoothly and his eyes rolled back as he solely focused on your taste on his tongue and your alluring scent floating to his nose.
Fuck that was what San had the pleasure of tasting everytime he found himself between your legs. If only he could taste more. Without even thinking Mingi wrapped both his hands around his friend’s wrist pushing his hand further into his mouth and sucked avidly on the cum coated finger and back to the pool of arousal that had gathered in his palm.
“Yeah that’s it” San praised as he circled your clit slowly, offering some kind of relief to the painfully swollen nub. But the praise was more for Mingi than for you. He smirked as he saw his friend devour your essence as if he was a parched man and the smirk only grew wider when he took back his hand and Mingi opened his eyes back looking at him with a glazed over stare. At that moment San knew his friend was done for.
“Here Princess” San said, extending to you his hand that was now coated in your own slick and Mingi’s spit. You instinctively welcomed the wet fingers into your mouth wrapping your lips around them and sucking them avidly. “How does it taste?”
“Sho- hmph… goodjf” you struggled to reply not wanting to let go of your boyfriend’s fingers.
Mingi was absolutely mesmerized by the way you were so eagerly sucking San’s fingers. Mixing your cum, your spit but also his own. His cock throbbed at the thought of cutting the middleman that was San’s hand and just lean down to kiss you. Lapping at your lips for entrance and diving into you, body and soul. He wanted it all.
“Such a good girl for me” San praised taking his fingers back, not without a quiet whine from your end and a repressed moan from Mingi.
But the disappointment was short lived when you heard your boyfriend fidgeting with his pants and you knew what was coming up next. You prompted yourself on your elbow and spread your legs wider. San chuckled while Mingi cursed silently.
You were dying to see what San was doing. You wanted to see how he kicked off the pants and took his raging hard cock in hand to pump his fist a couple of times around it. You wanted to see him between your thighs as he rubbed his tip on your wets folds. You arched your back into him again, urging him to fill you up full of his cock.
“Fuck you’re so impatient, baby” He growled as he pushed his tip inside you earning a cry from you. “Is that what you wanted?" he huffed, his eyebrows meeting on his forehead as he felt the vice grip of your pussy around him. Even after a thousand times you still felt so good. So wet and tight for him.
“Y-yess! Oh fuck i- yes thank you Sannieee” you were barely able to say as you felt your cunt stretch around San’s girth. You lifted your face as if you could see him splitting you in two. You’d always liked to see him fill you up but sadly you couldn’t.
But Mingi, on the other hand, could see it all.
Mingi couldn’t help it anymore he pulled his pants and boxers down midthigh just enough to take his hard and leaking cock out. He didn’t take the time to undress. He didn’t have the time he needed to stroke his cock at the exact same pace as San was fucking you.
Said pace was slow and deep. San liked to start out like that, he liked to drive you mad. You felt every inch of him leisurely pushing his thick cock inside until it touched the deepest part of you only to pull out just as slowly, enjoying the way your cunt gripped around him desperate to ever let him go. You were whimpering, whining and squirming. You were going crazy and you weren't the only one.
Mingi was struggling just as much as you were, his balled fist tightly wrapped around his aching length languidly going up and down. He was struggling to keep the hellishly slow pace, struggling to not stroke his fat cock faster but he had to if he wanted to maintain the illusion that it was him inside of you.
At some point San felt merciful and started to go faster. Not for you really he enjoyed to torture you way too much but it was more for Mingi, he noticed his tall friend pinching his lips into a thin line, sharp eyes shutting close and eyebrow digging a deep crease on his forehead. San enjoyed the anguish but he also enjoyed seeing the relief spread on his friends face when he finally fucked you harder. Your cunt became even tighter around San and he found himself moaning rhythmically along with you every time he pushed his thick cock inside you. While Mingi’s eyes didn't once leave your throbbing pretty pussy gushing out more and more translucent slick.
San gradually picked the pace to the point he was soon smashing his hips into you. Making your breasts jump with each powerful thrust. The fact that you couldn’t see your boyfriend makes you feel him that much more. You felt his strong and calloused hands on your thigh and waist and you felt his cock perfectly splitting you in two to this hellish rhythm that made you forget about anything else. Including your surroundings. You were no longer able to keep your voice down. Everything felt too strong, too good to be able to mask the loud moans of pleasure into small, controlled little whimpers.
“F-fuck you’re really enjoying your…self” San struggled to say. “Aren’t you?”
You couldn’t even bring yourself to answer anything back. You could only let your tongue loll out of your mouth while you moaned incoherent words.
Mingi’s eyes kept on darting between your swollen cunt and your fucked out face. He just knew that underneath the silk blindfold you were rolling your eyes. And that made his cock twitch in his hold, more precum oozing out the tip, at this point it was practically dripping onto the tiled floor.
“Fuck why are you being so fucking loud for?” San asked with a scoff. “Want people to hear you?”
“Sa-nnie” you complained but you did not become quieter for that much.
“Ohh. I get it” San said in a sarcastic tone, slowing down again. That had you squirming when you felt the tight feeling in your core slowly fading away.
“N-no, p-please Sannie, nooo” you begged shaking your hips, trying to fuck yourself back on your boyfriend’s cock to find the same rhythm.
“You want people to know what kind of good whore you are”
“Yes, yesss. Exactly-fu-... Sannie please.” You would have agreed to anything he was saying to have him fuck you exactly like he was a second ago.
“Maybe you even want my members to hear you” San said with a smirk. “Especially Mingi I bet”.
At the mention of the name you stopped moving around, your brain flooding with the images of Mingi body rolling and dancing.
“Oh you just became tighter baby.” San said with a smirk. “So you do want him to see you” San said, fucking you even slower now.
“Pleaseeee” you said in a breath.
“I bet you wished it was him fucking you right now” San said eventually completely pulling out of you.
“Noo… P-please” you whined quietly your throbbing cunt clenching around nothing, begging for more attention.
For the first time Mingi peeled his eyes off you to look at his friend only to be met with San’s wicked smirk. San’s smirk grew wider when he saw his fiery haired friend look back at him with big round terrified eyes. He knew Mingi was panicking right now; he couldn’t even touch his cock anymore. Poor weeping thing just waited there ignored while it continued leaking more precum.
“Say it, Princess” San insisted. “Be honest with me. Be honest with yourself” San cooed, leaning over you to whisper in your ear before leaving his place between your legs and gesturing to Mingi to take his place.
For a second Mingi was completely frozen to the side. He didn’t know how to act. His brain was almost melting out his ears and he was in complete overdrive. But he shook his head and took a silent step in your direction then a second one and found himself right between your spread legs. He could have cum with just that, just looking at you from that angle just knowing that he could take you right there. But he waited. Immobile.
“If you want more cock. You’ll have to say it baby” San cooed again in your ear and you faced a dilemma.
You didn’t know if you could really voice out your secret fantasy that way. San never struck you to be the jealous kind but still… he required you to say that and in this second, on the brink of your orgasm, your brain only soaked in sin and lust you couldn’t think of anything else than to be rammed again. You pictured Mingi again in your mind, you imagined what he would feel like inside you, what he would sound like, what he would look like. Fuck… you did want that.
“I-I wish it was Mingi fucking me right now” you said hesitantly but pushing your hips up, spreading your legs even further pushing your soaked and desperate little cunt in the air.
“Good girl” San whispered, satisfied and gave a nod to Mingi.
Mingi’s heart was about to burst out of chest. The frantic muscle was rattling against his ribs and jumping in his throat then diving back in the pit of his stomach. He was all over the place. He couldn't believe it. He couldn’t believe his ears. He couldn’t believe he heard you say that. Saying out loud you wished another man was inside you instead of your boyfriend. And not any man. Him.
You wanted him.
His hands were shaking when he grabbed the base of his cock, twitching as he approached it slowly from your core while you grew more and more impatient.
“Pleaseee” you whined again. “I said it…. now please give me cock” you pleaded.
As soon as Mingi’s tip touched your entrance you went completely silent and Mingi struggled to do too. When he pushed himself inside you he could have passed out. You were so welcoming, so warm, so tight, so wet. So good. Oh so fucking good. He progressed inside you very slowly earning a long stretched out moan from your end. He couldn't believe he was the one making you feel this way. He was the one pulling those beautiful sounds out of your lips. When he bottomed out he swore he had died and went to heaven. There was no other explanation. The way he felt could only be explained by faith. God was a woman. And that woman was you.
Fuck he needed more of this. He needed to feel you more, to hear you more, to see you more. He wanted it all.
He started to pump himself in and out of you faster, his hand struggling to find a place to settle, finally opting to grab the edge of the vanity. Avoiding direct contact with you, fearing you would recognize him. Rapidly he found himself fucking you (and himself) senseless, rutting his hips like a dog while San watched with a little satisfied smirk, thick cock in hand stroking lazily.
Your mouth went agape. It felt so good, so fucking good to be finally fucked that deep that rough, exactly how you wanted, the tight feeling in your gut rapidly building up again. But it also felt different. The angle was different. It felt like San’s dick wasn’t hitting the same spot as usual, it also felt slightly curved upwards. And longer. And what about the hands, the touches? San always holds you at the waist, always stuffs his fingers in your mouth? Why wasn't he touching you?
In a flash you ripped the blind fold off your eyes and opened them. At first the bright lights of the vanity behind you blinded you for a short second. The first thing you saw was the tuft of dampened fiery orange hair. Then your vision cleared out and you saw Mingi right between your legs, sharp brows deeply furrowed, lips pressed into a thin line and smashing himself into you at an unbelievable pace.
The shock you felt tightened your stomach and you came on the spot.
To see Mingi fucking you this hard, take so much pleasure with it and struggling to keep quiet while he fucked you secretly. You didn’t need anything more.
“F-fuc- Min-gi” you whined as your legs tensed up and your eyes rolled to the back of your head, your mouth agape.
“Y-y/n” Mingi whispered, his hands flying to your hips at that very second you opened your eyes, the many rings on his fingers digging into your skin and without a doubt marking you for the next couple of days. His strong grip grounding you into the vanity to fuck you deeper, faster, better.
You creamed around his cock, your back arched up, your pretty moans and your cunt fluttering around him took Mingi right with you to cloud 9. He couldn’t stop his hips from ramming into you while he delivered scorching hot ropes of thick cum right into your avid little hole. Spasming and twitching. To him it felt like your pussy was trying to milk him dry as he moaned your name a thousand times while bent over you until his hips became sloppy and he eventually came to a stop.
“Awww.” San said as he looked at the both of you disheveled and out of breath, both coming down from your highs. “You both came looking at each other. That's cute” But then he wrapped his hands around your jaw to turn your head to him. “But that made me a little jealous. Don't you think you need to make it up to me, darling?”
Mingi pulled out, out of breath you felt the hot cum running down your pussy and dripping onto the floor. San placed his hand on Mingi’s shoulder and he switched places to join your side.
“Look at that?” San said, crouching down, inspecting your twitching little pussy. “Eventhough you were just fucked full of cum I can tell you want more, baby”
You nodded frantically at the idea of being filled up again.
“Please yes”
San pushed his cock inside you with ease. Mingi’s load providing the perfect lube.
“I slide right in, baby. ” San grunted. After all this teasing he found himself to be closer to his breaking point then he anticipated. “You got her nice and lubed up for me, man.” He sent a cheeky wink to Mingi.
You were just right back down from cumming a short while ago but you found yourself moaning loud for your boyfriend’s cock. It felt so good and soon you were begging him to fuck you harder.
“Please Sannie faster” you said.
“Of course princess I’ll fuck Mingi’s cum right back into your hole he said with a smirk to his friend before smashing himself in. He too was moaning like you were both alone not having a care in the world of what could have been happening outside the dressing room. And soon enough Mingi was hard again.
“Baby, your new boyfriend needs help over there.” San said between moans, drawing your attention back on Mingi again, as he was standing there idle, painful cock laying heavy in his balled fist.
“Please Mingi let me suck your cock” you asked looking right back up at him as your body was jolted up with San’s every move. You didn’t even let Mingi think about it for a second. Your lips instinctively found his beet red tip and you rounded your mouth around it.
He tasted too good, you relished in the strong flavour and aroma of his cum mixed with your own nectar. It tasted sinful but oh so fucking right. This taste and the way his cock smoothly glided in your tongue made your mind go completely blank. Your tongue focussing on his tip between every come and go around his shaft to collect the precious salty precum you earned along with every grunt, every pant, every whimper from the tall man. You couldn’t have enough of it and you kept on sucking his cock. Relentlessly trying to get another load out of him.
Mingi felt so fucking sensitive right after cumming but it also felt so good. His strong hand flew to your hair as he grabbed a big fistfull. Instinctively pulling on it to keep you from gobbling up his cock that still felt very sensitive, his moans went up in pitch with overstimulation.
“You’re a real fucking whore for his cock, arent you, Angel?” San asked as he landed a sharp and unexpected slap on your cunt. Making you pop Mingi out of your mouth to look back at your boyfriend again. The delicious sting made you arch your back.
“A-again pleaseee” you said through gritted teeth as San smirked and made your wish come true, slapping your eager little cunt again, making you clench around him harder, making him falter ever so slightly.
Mingi was now pumping his cock over your face, you heard as clear as day the squelching sounds of his spit and cum coating his cock as he stroked it right over you.
San was rubbing tight circles on your swollen reddened clit and ramming into you with all his might. You knew you weren’t going to last long.
“Sannie I’m gonna c-” another sharp slap landed onto your sensitive clit, making you cry out a whimper.
“Not yet, whore. Make your new boyfriend cum first”. San nodded his head in Mingi’s direction.
You were so far gone, mind, body and soul only filled with cock that you didn’t even catch how San referred to Mingi. You were ready to do anything for your boyfriend to finally let you cum so you turned your attention back to Mingi.
“Please Mingi give me your cum, pleasepleaseplease. Want your cum all over my face.”
Mingi didn’t need more. It flipped a switch inside him to see you spread open by San’s cock but getting your undivided attention to beg for his cum like it was the most precious substance on earth.
“Fuck y/n” he said in a strangled moan. “Want my cum huh?” the grip on your hair tightened, making the veins of his forearm pop.
“Yes yes yes yes yes pleaseplease”
“Fuck you’re so good to me. Fuckkkkk… Y/n I love you” he confessed in a breath right before letting out thick ropes of cum that split your face in two from chin to forehead. “I love you I love you I love you” he chanted, both his heart and body finally letting out what he’s been holding back for years. The pleasure made his head spin, more cum crashing onto your nose and lips which you licked hurriedly to get the chance to taste him again.
“Good girl” San said, picking up the pace as he never stopped fucking into you. “You’re so pretty with all this cum on you. Your pretty pussy full of cum and your pretty fucking face too” he said his thrusts becoming sloppier.
“Want another load, Princess?” he asked strong shoulders bulging out as he gripped your waist tighter, bruising your skin and joining Mingi’s ring marks.
“Yes please cum inside sannie” you whined throwing your head back “Please I want your c-hmppph” your words caught in your throat when Mingi started to rub circles on your clit, adding another layer of pleasure. “Fuckkk” you cried.
“P-please… more… c-cum” you said, your brain completely tuning out to let your primal instinct take the lead.
“Fuck baby I’m so close San said.
“Me too.. I-” right at this moment Mingi lightly slapped your pussy and it was the last straw. You were pushed over the edge and Mingi continued to give little fast slaps to your sensitive clit, making you shake as your cum gushed out of you in translucent and powerful streams.
“Fuckkk I’m c-cumming” San said as he delivered more cum inside your hole, joining Mingi’s and mixing together. You completely lost your mind on the feeling of how full you felt while San was pumping another big load into you and Mingi was repeatedly slapping your pretty pussy then switching to quick circles again that gradually slowed down to a stop.
When San pulled out he looked at you with a warm smile that made his eyes into crescents.
“Isn’t she pretty like this?” he asked Mingi, who was looking at you with just as much love.
“Yeah, she is” he breathed out while you gradually came back to your senses.
“Should we make it official?” San asked peeling his eyes off you to look at his friend.
“What?” Mingi asked, clueless.
“Well the three of us are together now.” San said before turning his attention to you again “Isn't that right, darling?” and you nodded.
“Well Mingi, next time if you want to confess in the middle of a fuck how about you take me out on a date before cumming on my face?” You said scraping the cum on your cheeks into your mouth and sucking on your fingers and San chuckled but Mingi protested looking affronted.
“Hey! You asked me to!”
a/n: i had so much fun writing this i hope you liked reading my babes <3
ateez masterlist | navigation
taglist: @jonghospookiedookie @ateezbbys @mingi-chilli-con-carne @walkingtravesty97 @staytiny816 @fancyglam24 @simpforateezforever @heyitsmetonid @acetruepunk @shineekrystalzzz @hwallazia @kierraperkins3 @seeoonghwaa @dawn-iscozy @miniminkis @itza-meee @bittersweetsparadise @oiminho @nebulousbookshelf @seonghwasbobaeyes @certifiedmoa @mulletjoonsupremacy @therealcuppicake @v-lvs-yungi @yourfatherlucifer @minkiverse @choisanboobenthusiast @wisejudgedragonhairdo @mustbeaweasleyginger (i tagged everyone that asked for part 2 hope you dont mind tell me if u wanna be removed)
#mingi smut#san smut#ateez smut#kpop smut#ateez#mingi#san#ateez hard hours#ateez hard thoughts#mingi hard hours#mingi hard thoughts#san hard thoughts#san hard hours#ateez san#ateez mingi#mingi fanfic#mingi x reader#san x reader#san fanfic#ateez fanfic#ateez ff#song mingi#choi san
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Period Pain, Go Away
how the JJK men help you through your period
content: afab reader x jjk men, just fluff this time! brief dirty joke in Toji's one (because he's Toji), but every one of them is a good boi in their own way <33
a/n: on my period and am in much pain v_v i can't decide who i want to comfort me, so i'm writing for all of the men i want
Gojo Satoru who isn't just your boyfriend during your period, but a "girl's girl". He wants to spoil you with desserts and eat the leftovers that you can't finish, do face masks with those cute cucumber slices over the eyes. You want a bath? He's already drawing one, dunking in bath bombs till the water looks like a small galaxy, putting on your comfort show so you can watch it while you soak.
Dealing with pain through fun and smiles has always been his way of coping. So, yes—maybe he does look a bit silly, gossiping with you while you paint sparkles onto his nails, his hair tied up with a pink scrunchie. But what's a boyfriend for, if not to be your Ken doll during your time of need?
It hurts him more than he likes to admit, to see you wince at a bad cramp, or come out of the bathroom with the colour drained from your cheeks. When you can't manage anything more than lying in your bed, he'll rest his head against your stomach, peppering kisses wherever it hurts. "Be good to my girl," he'll jokingly threaten your uterus, poking your tummy gently, "she deserves the world."
Geto Suguru who knows your period is coming before you do. Your irritable mood and food cravings clue him in, and he takes action without saying a single word.
The day your period starts, you realise that the feminine products you usually use have been fully restocked without your notice. The fridge is filled with your period cravings, enough to last a week. Before you can even say anything, a large hand wraps around your waist and presses a hot water bottle against your abdomen. "Good morning, princess," he greets you like he hasn't just pulled off what can only be described as a small miracle, "is everything to your liking?"
You don't know whether to laugh or cry at how perfectly he's predicted you. He's a step ahead of you throughout your entire period, knowing which snack or act of affection you want just by your expression. Some might call his behaviour unreasonable; frankly, he thinks it's bullshit. "Attention, taken to its highest degree, is the same thing as prayer," is what he quotes, when you ask him why he's so observant. "What makes you think I do not absolutely and utterly worship you?"
Nanami Kento who is obviously written by a woman, and so does not flinch when he sees the blood on the bedsheets when he wakes up earlier than you. Instead, he kisses you good morning till you're giggling, distracting you so you don't get a chance to see the stains. He changes the sheets while you're in the bathroom, throwing them in with the rest of the laundry. When you come back out, worrying you dirtied the bed, he merely shrugs. "I didn't see anything, darling."
He treats you like a queen on the daily, but during your period, you're his empress. Each word is law, each action his cue to immediately come to your aid. He'll cook every meal, and won't let you hold the spoon to feed yourself if he can help it. As far as he can see, your only responsibility this week is to lounge around, and let him spoil you rotten.
He thinks it's a crime that you still have to go to work, when you have to pop painkillers with your breakfast just to make it through the day. "I can take care of you, you know," he'll inevitably murmur, kissing the shell of your ear, "I make enough money to support us both. Take the day off, dearest. They don't need you more than I do."
Toji Fushiguro who manages to piss you off on the first day of your period. "What size pussy you wear?" he calls to ask, when he's picking up your feminine products at the corner store, "gotta make sure I take care of that kitty for all the squeezin' she does on me."
When he gets back home and finishes getting an earful on how you're more than just his pocket pussy, he apologises by scooping you up in his arms. "You know you're more than just a good fuck, doll," his words carry a rare sort of honesty, coming from him. "You're a good woman. My woman. Gun's in the second drawer, sweetheart—shoot me if I ever do wrong by you."
His touches turn softer, the smack to your ass replaced with a squeeze on the hip, kisses on your shoulders. He's got a hand on you at all times, just rubbing idle circles against your stomach or lower back to soothe your cramps. When bedtime comes, he makes you lay on your tummy, massaging away the tension in your muscles until you're all nice and pliant. He may not always know what to say, but he'll be damned if his actions make you feel like he doesn't love you.
#believe it or not i am in fact capable of having chaste thoughts!#jjk men pls take care of my pussy sfw version#jujutsu kaisen#jjk#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jjk fluff#gojo satoru#jjk gojo#gojo satoru x reader#gojo x reader#geto suguru#jjk geto#geto suguru x reader#geto x reader#nanami kento#jjk nanami#nanami kento x reader#nanami x reader#toji fushiguro#jjk toji#toji fushigro x reader#toji x reader#my content
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a great thing [Miguel Diaz x Fem!Reader] (Cobra Kai)
(~from the vault~)
He left you a voicemail telling you he had news less than an hour before he was kicked down the second floor.
Word count 3,060
[ . . .]
Exhausted was the word.
For exactly two weeks and two days, you slept on the unbelievably uncomfortable couch in Miguel’s hospital room, adamant about doing so no matter what anyone told you.
And everyone tried to tell you something.
Carmen, Rosa, Sensei, Demetri, Hawk, Aisha (through phone), even Sam. Nothing made you budge: you were staying until he woke up and that was final.
You’d wake up in the morning, have lunch with Carmen and Rosa, talk to him in hopes that he could hear you, go home, take a shower, change, get back and repeat. Every single day.
Every day was harder.
Every friend that came to visit with that look on their face, every visit from Sensei, every time his mom would break down crying and beg for him to make it through, every prayer from his grandma, every one-sided conversation you’d have with him as he stayed unconscious. Everything was harder these days.
So yeah, you were exhausted.
Sometimes Hawk would bring you lunch for you to share, and he’d distract you with conversation that he’d occasionally include Miguel in with a “you hear that, man?” or something of the sort, which made you smile.
Or Demetri would bring you comic books to keep you entertained, staying a couple hours at a time and silently reading beside you to keep you company.
Aisha called every day to check in and Sam visited once in a while. Sensei Lawrence visited all the time, his mom and Yaya were obviously always there, even Daniel LaRusso visited once. But nothing really felt like real company when Miguel was there but not really there.
You’d been spending day after day without your best friend and you were starting to grow a sort of anger towards everyone and everything, replaying the fight over and over in your head and growing more and more irritated as the days went by. God help Robby Keene if he ever got face to face with you.
And then Miguel woke up.
After two entire weeks and almost everyone around you losing hope, he woke up, while you were asleep. You woke up scared, groggy, confused about all the noise: the loud beeping, the yells, the motioning, the sudden amount of people in the room, Carmen yelling Miguel’s name- oh no, was he… no, his mom wasn’t yelling out of despair. She was happy.
And you realized it: he was awake.
He was awake!
He was awake and trying to talk and god damn you couldn’t see a thing through the tears and it was like you were paralyzed, unable to move as you processed the situation, barely believing what was happening. This had to be a dream, it had to be, but it wasn’t!
The day after that, you slept in the hospital room yet again. In the same unbelievably uncomfortable couch, but you slept way, way more comfortably than the nights before. The usual ‘good night’ directed at him every night was met with a smile this time.
The day after that one, you went home. For the first time in two weeks and three days, you slept in a bed. Your two-week suspension was already done with, but you let yourself sleep well into the afternoon.
Everything that happened during the days after that was a blur, nothing short of a rollercoaster. You cried silently while Miguel and you watched as a doctor told his mom he would maybe never be able to walk again and you hugged Hawk tight when he told you he’d gathered money to help pay for the medical costs and you went back to sleeping on the couch in the cold hospital room after the surgery.
And then the day came. Miguel was finally out, and you couldn’t even believe it.
He deserved a great thing, for a change.
“Holy shit! You haven’t seen actual sunlight in so long! How’s it feel?”
“Yeah I kinda feel like a vampire,” he remarked, covering his eyes from the sun with his hands. Carmen and Rosa walked within a distance behind the two of you as you pushed his wheelchair forward.
“You know you don’t have to push me?”
“Yeah but it’s fun.”
“Not more fun than being the one riding the wheelchair.”
“Oh we’re bragging? Push yourself then.” You pretended to be mad and retrieved your hands from the handles, crossing your arms in front of your chest in fake indignation, and he turned the chair to face you, feigning offence.
“Wow I thought you’d go easier on me after everything!”
“I would never go easy on you.”
“Wait! I just had the best idea.”
“Okay?” You said as for him to go on, not entirely trusting him.
“Sit on my lap.”
“What?” You ignored the burning feeling on your cheeks, blaming it on weirdness of the proposition, not what he was telling you to do.
“Sit on my lap! If you’re so jealous I’ll take you with me.”
“No way.”
“Why?”
Yeah, why? “Because- because we’re so gonna fall!”
“No we’re not! Do you not trust me?”
“I don’t, actually!” You let out a laugh.
“Shut up!” He exclaimed, smiling that smile of his.
Yeah, that one. Could you really say no to that? “Oh, my God,” you muttered, but did as he said, carefully sitting yourself down on his thighs.
“Okay, ready?”
“No?”
“Wrong answer!” He pulled on the wheels fast, picking up speed, and you had to support yourself by wrapping your arms around his neck.
“Miggy! Don’t do that!” His mom yelled after you, and you both laughed, out of breath with the adrenaline, when he stopped.
You waited as Rosa and Carmen walked up to you, only noticing you were still on his lap when Rosa shot you a funny look.
[ . . . ]
“Oh my God, Carmen, this is so good!” You exclaimed as you ate, Miguel agreeing with you eagerly by nodding his head.
“Thank you, mija! I missed having dinner with my baby,” she added, smiling at Miguel.
“We’ve had dinner together every day since I woke up!”
“Not proper dinner at the table! Different things, Miggy.”
As dramatic as it sounds, you couldn’t help but think about how utterly alive Miguel made all three of you.
You finished the food quickly and took off to Miguel’s room. You both laid on his bed on opposite ends, both facing the ceiling, in a comfortable silence that came after about an hour of talking about random things.
You propped yourself up by your elbows to face him. “Do you want me to stay over?”
He tilted his head to look back at you. “What?”
“If you want me to. I know it’s your first night out and all-”
"Why wouldn’t I want you to?” He smiled, and you couldn’t fight a smile yourself.
Then there was a knock on the door. “Guys?”
“Yeah mom?”
“Can I come in?”
“Yeah!”
With that, Carmen opened the door immediately, smiling at the sight of the two of you. “Just making sure. Everything okay?”
“Yeah, mom,” he laughed. She’d been checking in way more often than usual, but Miguel understood. He always understood.
"Just asking,” she smiled. “Do you need me to take you home, sweetheart?” She asked you, and you turned to Miguel, sharing a look that silently told him ‘I’m not the one asking her!’
“Um can Y/N stay over tonight? Just tonight?”
“Yeah of course! Sweetheart you know you can always stay over. I’ll bring you some blankets, we can-”
“Anything’s fine! Really.”
“Oh honey I’m sorry you won’t be comfortable-”
“It’s alright, promise!” You reassured her, and she was back with about 5 blankets in no time, laying four on the floor right next to Miguel’s bed for you to lay on and handing the fifth to you for you to cover yourself with, along with a pillow too.
[. . .]
You were both stupidly tired-- and reasonably so- but neither of you could sleep. You tossed and turned around on your make-shift blanket mattress but just couldn’t seem to find a comfortable enough position, sighing in frustration at the empty tries.
“You okay?” Miguel spoke up in a whisper, scaring you. Wasn’t he asleep?
“Did I wake you up?”
“No. Was awake.”
“Can’t sleep either?”
“Is it the floor?”
“No, it’s fine-”
“You wanna come up here?”
“What?”
“I think there’s room for the two of us. I’m not that ripped, you know, I don’t take up that much space” he joked.
You chewed on your bottom lip, unsure if this was a good idea. "You sure?”
“Yeah it’s fine.”
As you went silent, deciding on what to actually do, you head Miguel shifting his body around to try and make room for you.
“Just- just climb up here.”
You got up and did as he said, struggling to make yourself fit in the bed with him. "This isn’t gonna work,” you commented.
“Yes it is, wait,” he moved your shoulders, turning your back to him, and scooted closer to the wall to make more space for you.
“Isn’t this uncomfortable for you? It’s gonna give you pressure sores.”
“How do you know about pressure sores?”
“I pay attention to what your doctors say!”
“Stop worrying!” You could hear him smiling as he whispered to you. “My legs are positioned right, if you wanna know so bad.”
“Fine. But you better not be lying.”
“Or what?”
“Or I’m… not gonna invite you to my ninth birthday party.”
“Okay that’s way too low even for you.”
“Yeah so I’d be careful.”
“Copy that.”
It was all peacefully quiet for no more than about twenty seconds before he started moving his arms around.
“What’s wrong?”
“I don’t know where to-” he moved his arm around, settling on placing it around your waist, carefully. “Is this okay?”
You felt yourself inhale a sharp breath. It should be okay. Right? It should be completely and totally chill and fine and normal. “Yeah it’s fine.” You didn’t know if he had heard the hesitation in your voice, but he questioned you again.
“Is this weird?”
“What do you mean?”
“This? We’re kinda cuddling.”
“Why, is it weird for you? I- I can go back to the blankets-” you were already moving to stand up but he pulled you closer to his body by your waist.
“No! I- I mean- it’s not. I’m just asking. Cause I don't want you to be uncomfortable. This is fine.”
“Okay.”
“Okay.”
“Are you sure you’re not uncomfortable? You know you don’t have to lie right?”
“No, I'm not! I promise. This is… nice. Uh- you know what I mean.”
You didn’t, exactly. “Yeah.”
Silence again.
“Did you actually sleep on that couch every night?”
"Why are you thinking about that?"
"'Cause we're talking about being comfortable and that did not look comfortable."
You laughed. “Yeah it wasn't exactly the best sleep of my life."
“Was it better than my bedroom floor?”
You let out a loud laugh and elbowed his chest slightly. “Your mom was very nice for setting that up for me!”
“Hey don’t hit me! I just got out of the hospital!”
“Oh that’s very sweet of you to think I care.”
“Oh I know you care! ‘Cause someone slept in the hospital for two weeks for me.”
“Okay, okay, let’s get back to talking about your bedroom floor.”
“No take backs! You were worried about me.”
“Yeah no shit.” Your tone wasn't playful anymore.
He paused. “I’m sorry I scared you like that.”
“Dude, you’re the one who got pushed down the second floor. You don’t have to apologize.”
“Yeah,” he let out a weak laugh. “I guess.”
God, these silent pauses were getting unbearable. “What were you gonna tell me?”
“What?” He questioned, clearly confused.
“You left me a voicemail. Before- you know.”
“Yeah. Right.” Was his heart actually beating a little faster or were you imagining it?
“I know it’s probably something stupid that probably doesn’t matter now, that’s- that’s why I didn’t mention before but-”
“But?”
“It’s stupid.”
"You can tell me.”
“I uh. I replayed it a lot. While you were- you know.”
“You did?”
You couldn’t believe he sounded so surprised. Was it that surprising that you wanted to hear his voice again while was in a coma for weeks?
“I mean it was kind of the last thing you said to me before it happened. I didn’t actually talk to you that day so.” When he didn’t say anything, you tried to lighten up the mood, cursing yourself for bringing it down. “I’ve even got it memorized!”
“No you don’t,” he laughed.
“I do!”
“No way!”
“Do too!” You fake-gasped feigning being offended, turning around to face him- startling yourself for a half-second when you realized how close your face was to his, causing you to turn a bit more to lie on your back so you could face the ceiling instead of him, though he very much hadn’t let go of your waist in the process.
You once again set your mind elsewhere to avoid thinking about it too intently, clearing your throat dramatically before imitating the way he spoke.
“‘Um. Hey. Sorry I didn’t walk with you today. I’m not- I’m not ignoring you or anything. I just- I figured something really important out last night and I- I was gonna tell you like… 10 minutes ago but I didn’t- shit I have five more seconds anyway I’ll tell you at lunch bye-’ and then you got cut off.”
“Holy shit. I don’t even remember what I said word for word like that.”
“You had other things going on,” you joked, looking at him (though not turning your body to face him again yet) for a moment before averting your eyes to the ceiling again.
“You replayed it every day?”
“Yeah.”
“That’s cute.”
“Shut up. So… what is it? You made me wait for weeks, you need to tell me!"
He shifted a bit. “Uhhhh-”
“Come oooonn, you seemed excited about it!”
“Yeah but it’s not- it’s not that big of a deal.”
Now you’d gained back enough composure to actually turn your head to look at him. “You said it was really important!”
“I… didnt?” He tried.
You only quirked an eyebrow up at him. He sighed.
“Did you actually get back with Sam? Is that it?”
“What?”
“I mean Tory was obviously pretty pissed. And the same day barely half an hour before all that happens you tell me you’ve got big news?”
“I’m not back with Sam.”
“I’m not gonna judge you if you are! Well I am actually. Obviously. But not that bad!”
“I’m not with Sam!”
“So Tory really did all that for nothing?”
“I mean, kind of? I did break up with her the night before. Right before Sam found me. And then Sam kissed me and guess Tory saw it but- we didn’t- we didn’t get back together.”
“What was it you wanted to say then?”
Silence.
“Did you get yourself in something? Is it bad?”
“I- I’m in love with you.” He was so quiet you almost didn't hear him.
“I mean it seems-” wait. “what?”
He let go of your waist, pushing his body up so he could sit down, you doing the same. “I’m sorry. I didn’t- I wasn’t gonna tell you like this. That’s- pretty obvious, but- I even. I left sensei a voicemail about it too-”
Non-stopping rambling from his part, complete silence from yours.
“I- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have told you like this and it’s- it’s fine if you don’t-”
“Shut up.”
“What?”
“Shut up. Just- for a second.”
“Oh- okay.” He stopped the rambling, but his widened stare kept itself trained on yours, as if trying to pry your thoughts out of your head through them.
You took a deep breath, trying to rationalize out loud what he’d just told you. “You’re in love with me. That’s what you were gonna tell me.”
“Yeah.”
“How do you know?"
He seemed taken aback by the question. It was understandable that it was not the first think he would've imagined you to say in return of his confession. “How do I- know? I guess. I guess Sam kissed me that day. And I tried to kiss her back to see if there was anything still there, but there… wasn’t. And I had like just broken up with Tory for that exact same reason. I was dating these girls I didn’t have feelings for and I couldn’t figure out why I didn’t have feelings for them.”
“'Cause you’re in love with me,” you said, more to yourself than to him.
“I mean- yeah. I’m sorry. I can- I can sleep on the couch if you want-”
That snapped you out of your trance-like confused state. “I’m not making you sleep on the couch, idiot!”
“But-”
“Are you sure? Like 100%?”
“Yeah, but-” It was impulsive, and you knew you probably should’ve said something before doing it, but what better way to show him you liked him back- as you’d just figured out yourself that very moment- than kissing him? So you did just that: you kissed him. In the dark, in his room, on his bed, with a million different problems to deal with, but that little moment, with him smiling against your lips, that was yours. A tiny little great thing in the middle of the chaos around you.
Yet another silence followed after you slowly pulled away from him, but this one was comfortable, content.
Miguel smiled at you. “So does this mean you like me back ooor?”
“Shut up,” you muttered, smiling too, before pulling him closer to you by the collar of his shirt and kissing him again. You could definitely, without a doubt, get used to this.
“We’ve been friends for years and we haven’t done this before?” He asked, out of breath, when you pulled away again and you laughed, feeling light as a feather.
“We should go to sleep, Diaz." You teased. "Your mom’s gonna get mad at me if you don’t sleep enough.”
“I am so in love with you.”
“Aw you have a crush on me? that’s embarrassing.”
“Shut up!”
"Yeah, yeah I'm in love with you too or whatever."
Maybe you deserved a great thing for a change too.
#from the vault#miguel diaz#miguel diaz x reader#miguel diaz imagine#cobra kai#cobra kai imagine#mars writes
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SPOILERS?? MAYBE
Wife!reader waiting for Alastor in his Radio tower after the final big battle, knowing he'd go there and waiting for him there, Scolding him and angry at him, Talking about how worried they were and how they saw everything. But then it turns fluffy at the end :3
Alastor X Reader [Romantic]
In which you lost track of him during the battle, so you wait in his tower hoping he made it. Reader is female.
The battle had been planned over the series of a day, everyone practicing and learning how to defend themselves
Being an overlord and promised watcher over the hotel, Alastor was of course given a tall order; he was to take care of Adam
While he acted as if it were nothing and swept it by as if it'd be another easy task, you weren't so confident in his abilities against such a powerful angel
Not that you didn't trust him, just that it's scary to think he'd be doing it all alone
Though you offered support, he outright refused it
" Can't have you in the way! You are just so distracting! "
Yeah right
As much as you wanted to protest, you knew he wouldn't budge on it
But as Adam parted the battle and Alastor was nowhere to be seen, you assumed the worst along with everyone else
He'd been killed so easily? Certainly not, would he really give up his life like that? Your anger boiled up in you as you fought, and it carried you past your limit until everything was rubble
While you had the chance, you quickly whisked away to his tower, which now lay broken in the soil, though still partially intact
You had to kick the door a few times before it finally broke open, having been blocked by some debris
You hoped to all gods that you'd see him in there, but it was as silent and empty as you dreaded
You figure Husk would have said something if he felt his chains come loose, though, so you crawled up into the chair which he normally sat to broadcast and waited
And waited
Until finally, your looped prayer was answered when he came limping through the hatch
You could tell he was panicking or overwhelmed; you weren't entirely sure what, but you scrambled towards him
" Alastor! You're okay- "
" Get away from me. "
You stopped in your tracks, staring at him with bewilderment
He'd never sounded like that, especially not towards you, it frustrated you beyond belief that he refused you at a time like this
" No, no! I thought you died out there! All because you thought you could handle things on your own when you clearly cannot! "
Hot tears welled in the corner of your eyes, the silence only intruded by creaking, and the sound of your hissing breaths
It took him a moment, but the overlord straightened himself out, a shaky breath leaving his lips as he soaked in your reply
It wasn't fair of him to say that to you, and you were right, but something in him felt so shaky; his smile felt more forced than ever; he felt as if his wings had been clipped
" Dearest, you know me better than anyone, but unfortunately, there are things I cannot tell you—even if I want to. "
You knew he was bound by someone and chained, and as he spoke with such a lost desperation, you couldn't help but cry harder as the guilt consumed you
" I'm just glad you're alive. "
While you stood with what felt like an infinite space between you, the crackle in the air started to come back to him, which followed with his arms reaching out to you
You found yourself burying yourself in them, clinging to his shirt until your knuckles strained, and you cried
With no one else around to witness it, he wrapped his arms around you, ensuring you were secure
He'd do whatever it took to find a way out, so he could promise you an eternity by his side
Author's Note - Finally got to your req 🖤 Its so lovely to see you in my inbox, Lilith!! Thank you for requesting 🥂
#koko writez#hazbin hotel#helluva boss#hazbin hotel x reader#helluva boss x reader#reader insert#x reader#alastor#alastor x reader
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This is a new episode of "all Polin first times we didn't see" and these is a mix of stuff, including at least one request.
It's after Pen has giving birth, some months have already passes but Colin feels inspired that afternoon. He can't read, can't write, all he can think about is how much his gorgeous wife is looking absolutely ethereal in the new dressing gown - blue Bridgerton of course.
But he knows that Pen would look even better naked. So with that goal in mind, he closes the door of the studio in which both him and Pen are working at the moment. No distractions allowed. The baby is in safe hands at the moment and they have a couple of hours before dinner. He'd love to have more time for what he has in mind but it will do.
Pen now follows his eyes with interest, and when Colin is now in her space, she gets up. Colin very carefully proceed to put everything in order until the desk is empty. Then, he methodically removes her dress, stay and camisole until she is naked. He kisses her deeply before lifting her up (Pen does squee in surprise at this) and puts her on the desk.
He remains dressed, because he is not important right now. It's all about her. His Goddess. He kisses her again, and then he explores every inch of her body with his fingers. The lips, the curve of her neck, her back, her gorgeous thighs, her absolutely breathtaking breast - even more now that she is feeding their son - where her nipples are already leaking. He has plan for those buds, but before he needs to go down on her stomach.
When he is there, he kisses her womb. He murmurs a prayer in thanks because she is safe and healthy as well as their son, before going back up with his lips, catching her nipples along the way. The looks at her, a question in his eyes but Pen knows already and trust him with her life so she nods, and Colin start to suck. He is surprised that her milk is warm - but more than anything, he marvels at women and particularly Pen, because what she did with their son is nothing short of a miracle.
These couple of hours are just about her. After she is wriggling for the emotion and the arousal his actions are causing her, he goes on his knees to taste his absolution. He opens her legs to make space for him and firstly he kisses her all around, before truly eating her with lips and tongue until she cries out loud and make him feel like a giant for making her feel so much pleasure.
When he knows she is close, he aids her with his fingers, like he did in the carriage and during their first time, until she is coming loudly. But he is now done. Nit even close. He wait for her to calm down, before starting repeating the same cycle. All over again. A second time. A third time. By the fourth she is collapsed on the desk, can't move, can't think, she can only feel. And when she comes that time, he gets flooded by her sacred juices, re-baptized in her name.
It's sinful to think as much but he can't help himself. He comes untouched in that moment, in his breeches, and he cleans her up wit his tie, before redressing her.
"What about you?" She asks and those are the first words beside moans she has spoken since they have started. Colin looks at her "it was not about me" but he agrees that she can do it to him too one day. In the end, every Goddess needs her own God.
What is a first you want me to write about them? (And if you want to play a game, how many first did I include?)
#polin#bridgerton#bridgerton season 3#bridgerton s3#polin positivity#polin bridgerton#polin brainrot#polin fanfiction#polin fic#colin x penelope#colin bridgerton#colin my wife bridgerton#penelope featherington#penelope x colin
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A Kindness
Summary: Your brother has been lost to the flames at Rook’s Rest and the anxious whispers of the Court do not give any consolation. However, the words of a knight in green do. How you wish you could give him a kindness in return.
Gwayne Hightower x female reader
Warnings: Angst. Loss of a family member. Descriptions of injuries by dragon fire
Word count: 2.615
The host had returned to Kings Landing with a fanfare akin to a funeral march.
The flies buzzing like bees amongst the rotten flesh of Meleys a song for the dead. Vhagar had been there on the battlefield, the King himself fallen from the sky, and the hope you held close to your heart and in prayer had been a child’s dream.
Your brother isn’t among the men climbing stiffly from their horses. Nor the men carrying the banners with their ragged edges, specks of rusty brown marring the King’s crest. He won’t drink with his fellow brothers in arms, revelling together in their victory until the cups double in their quantity. He will never smile again. A crooked smile, for he had lost a tooth during a tourney right before attaining knighthood.
No, he will never return.
You’d known when Father received the raven and his hands shook to hold the message. The sight of Meleys’ severed head being paraded through the streets a finality. It is an omen, the folks whispered to themselves. For who dares to slay such a formidable creature? Your brother laid rotting like the mighty beast and the hapless mass of fallen soldiers. Overlooked by Sisters guiding them through their final hour, if they were lucky that is.
The dead don’t speak. They wait to be reunited with their families. Or to be lost in a field.
Nameless. Forgotten.
Turned black like coal at the bottom of the hearth they’d whisper. Faces molten into an eternal scream they'd hush behind fans flapping away the noon sun. I heard they fed the remains of those poor boys to one of those beasts, for the sheep had fled. How awful!
There are others who share your grief, who barely leave the Sept or gorge themselves on any rumour that might bring reprieve. The Ladies of the Court give you their pity, their condolences, though it is half-hearted and they refuse to look upon you truly. You do not blame them.
Rumours cannot explain the seven hells that had opened up on those grounds, and with the King’s condition a barely kept secret, they grow less sensical by the day.
Father would know, for he wakes up with a tome in his hand and an age old tale on his tongue. Surely he must know the truth? You wish he would speak to you, but he has thrown himself into his duties and refuses to receive you in his small chambers.
Ladies smile demurely and sip politely on sweet reds. They don’t scream. There are no more tears to cry. You’ve exhausted your grief to the point your eyes feel dry and brittle. Like parchment, and you wonder how long it will take until you, too, shall crumble underneath the dragon’s might.
“Lady Waye says the Queen has shadows underneath her eyes as deep as the night,” Edeva murmurs to your right, low enough that only your ears catch it. “That her whispering has returned tenfold.”
“I think her Queen’s Ladies in waiting should put their grave concerns into action instead of turning to gossiping,” you bite, a bit louder than intended, only it gets lost in the clamour of tinkling glasses and a bard playing the lute.
Edeva has been your companion, a good friend to turn to in the halls of the Keep, and you feel ashamed for pushing her aside. She tries to distract you by pointing out the dish full of lush summer fruits being set upon the table by a servant. However, the sight of their ripe, glossy skins makes you nauseous.
Without announcing your leave, you slide past the gowns and grapes further into the Keep. You have no destination in mind, other than it has to be anywhere but here.
The stairs blur beneath your heavy skirt. Every breath locked high in your throat. You turn a corner, another, the colourful tapestries twirling in your periphery. The stories they tell a mockery. A servant leaps out of your way. Another step of stairs, and then - the sound you keep hidden escapes into a shocked huff when you collide against something solid.
A hand grabs your wrist to steady you, warm through the dark brocade.
It does not take long to recognize who stands before you. The tower spewing flames engraved on the leather doublet telling enough. His ruddy hair brings forth the invitation to a dance, that same hand guiding you over gleaming stone to the cacophony of a summer ball away in the past. Father telling another tale of a tourney. That dreadful day when the Stranger took Queen Aemma and her newborn son, when Prince Daemon drove him to the ground on his black steed.
You will never claim to know him well. Only a flash of red and green through the years when your paths crossed before taking residence in the Red Keep. Like so many faces he is out of your reach, a familiarity, but not an acquaintance.
Ser Gwayne Hightower's face does not bear any scars of Daemon’s lance. These are the nicks and scratches of a different battle.
He had been there. He had stood on the field where your brother met his grisly demise.
“Apologies Ser,” you whisper, voice cracking around the syllables. You retract your hand and slowly bow your head and knees in curtsy.
“The apologies are all mine, my Lady. The halls of the Keep are mighty. I fear my feet get lost in their splendour,” he says, the hint of a smile on his face a tad tight-lipped.
The steps of the seat of the Hightowers can be more daunting, and the structure itself grander than the Red Keep could ever be. You feel there is more to the white lie, a contempt.
There is a horror hidden in the ashes stubbornly clinging to the grooves and fibres of his clothing. His face has been scrubbed clean on the road, but the dirt of travel still sticks in his hairline, a little smudge behind his ear. You imagine you can smell it, even if leather and the natural musk of men try to hide it so. The stench of dragon fire; of burnt flesh and desperation, of loss - and if you cannot smell it you can see it in his eyes.
Gwayne does not possess the doe brown of the Dowager Queen. His eyes shine brighter. Like the precious gems Lady Nelda likes to wear around her neck whenever the occasion arises. On another day they would have been inquisitive. A bit haughty. Now they are exhausted. Duller. Something unsettling swirling in those depths. You are hit with a different kind of familiarity, one of understanding.
“My Lady,” he bows.
The moment is gone. Gwayne averts his gaze to a point further down the hallway and you wish he would look upon you again.
The knight in green has taken but a few steps before you find your voice.
“My brother... Ser, I-”
He halts. The expression on his face is a mystery, though his shoulders stiffen.
“Was he in the company at Rook’s Rest?" he asks lowly.
Your nails bite in the palm of your hands. “Yes. He was.”
Gwayne turns back around. A scrutiny in those dimmed gems when they rove from your balled fists to your face, and you cannot start to guess what he finds there. The despair bottling inside overflows into a torrent.
“The men- They say dragon fire melts the flesh like wax. Turns the bones to dust, to scatter in the storm. That there is nothing left of their prey but soil to grow our gardens.” Something changes in his stance, the dullness receding and it encourages you even more. “Is that what is left of my brother? Dust? We cannot bury what is lost on the wind.”
“I do not know, my Lady.” Gwayne takes another step forward. “I do not know of the fate of your brother. I wish I could give you that amenity, to ease your mind.”
“Does it ease your mind, Ser?” you ask, aware how your tone is rising in pitch. Shrill. “To have witnessed the dragons dance and live to tell the tale?”
And how dare you pose such a question? When it is loud and clear he has witnessed the unspeakable that the fiery beasts left in their wake? But he is here, standing, breathing, and he sees.
“I wish it were that easy,” he answers, wavering before he rightens his shoulders, clenching his jaw. “We need to be brave, my Lady. Be brave for your brother. Be brave and find it on your own, as I cannot give you the solace you seek.”
“It is not solace that I seek. I-”
He cuts you off. “You want answers. You want an elaborate summation of his gruesome faith, is that it?”
Gwayne takes another step forward, closer now, and you have to lift up your chin to follow. At first you believe it is rage that meets you, anger at your accusation. It is helplessness instead.
“Many good men died at the foredoor of Rook’s Rest. The dragons tear off each other’s limbs in the clouds, trampling them all underneath their feet and breath. What folly…”
He drifts off, his attention now on one of the many tapestries adorning the walls. A wry chuckle bursts from his lips. “It seems the many days on the road have disrupted my manners.”
“I fear there is no propriety in grief Ser,” you confess quietly.
Gwayne tilts his head sideways, considering your words, before he smiles once more. A real one this time, still edged in a shared sorrow, but it’s warmer.
“I guess not.”
“I do not know what I seek.”
“Then stop seeking.” His eyes find yours again, and his next words are spoken earnestly, kindly. “Do not tarnish what is the memory of your sibling, my Lady. He would have wished to be remembered whole, for then he cannot be lost to the winds.”
Gwayne grabs your right hand, unfolding the balled fist. His thumb stroking over the indents your nails left behind and turning the palm downward. His lips are warm when they touch your skin, lingering for a moment too long.
“A good day, my Lady.”
“Good day, Ser.”
You watch him go. Steady steps carrying him down the hallway. His words mulling over in your mind and for the first time in the past moon, ever since your brother left the Keep, you feel a peace.
The stone steps underneath the soles of your shoes are still a bit damp, the ground forth uneven where hoofs have trampled and disturbed the earth.
There’s a flurry of activity in the yard. Green with golden dragons on shields and banners, knights gleaming like silver coins rolling on a hardwood table. For a fleeting moment, you expect to see another face, one with a crooked smile who belongs only in your dreams now.
And then you see him.
Dressed in his armour bounding towards his horse, as if he cannot wait long enough to leave. As if Kings Landing is worse than what awaits outside its seven gates. Perhaps it was, or he would rather not delay the inevitable. And what is that? A quick death? No.
Ser Gwayne offered you a kindness with his understanding, and you wish to understand him in return. To offer something steady in a world that is tilting on its axis the longer the war continues.
Deep in the pocket between the fabrics of your skirt, your hand grasps the hidden piece of cloth. The stitches tickle your skin. It steadies you, dousing the nervous thoughts that have been following you all morning.
It’s not a handkerchief. Not in the traditional sense. You found it among the garments in the chest of your quarters. Dark green, almost blue, and the moment you touched it, an idea would not leave you alone.
The needle still feels clumsy at times between your finger tips, as you were never the patient pupil your mother had wished you to be and rather spent your time learning the harp, but the flowers they bore are delicate. Pretty. Refined. White petals with a core of deep orange; the colour of the sun peeking over the horizon. Your Septa would have been proud. Though, she would admonish the purpose behind it.
A kindness. Be brave.
It is that sentiment that moves you forward, past the guards standing sentry near the stairs and interweaving through the crowd filling the yard. His destrier, standing out with its magnificent armour, shining on the morrow, is in the hands of a squire. Gwayne does not see you coming, too busy speaking to the boy. Voice short and clipped.
“Ser Gwayne?”
The squire bows and runs off. Gwayne watches him go for a quick second before his gaze lands on your form. There’s surprise in the way his brows raise, the corner of his mouth turning up just so.
“My Lady,” he says, loosely gripping the reins of his horse. The destrier noses the pauldron at his shoulder. “How may I help you?”
Promise me to return all these men to their families, to come back, but that would be too much to ask and too forward, as if bestowing him with your needlework isn’t daunting enough.
“I sincerely regret not thanking you properly for what you said to me that day,” you state politely.
His head tilts down in understanding. The sun catches the red in his hair like honey. “Your regrets are misplaced. You do not need to thank me.”
“You misunderstand me Ser, I do.” Bolder now, you fish out the embroidered cloth from the hidden place of your dress. “You will be in my prayers, but please take this as a token of good fortune.”
He accepts the cloth mutely, brows rising further and gloved fingers studying the wreath of flowers you stitched along the edges. For a moment you fear the gift is too unbefitting after all, that the warmth that you had felt besides the kiss upon your hand a figment of your imagination. That he will reject it.
He’s quick to crush those doubts, but not quick enough to halt the blush of regret that is slowly blooming on your nape.
“I will cherish this gesture my Lady,” he says, eyes glittering. “But do not trouble yourself with concerns on my behalf, there are much more important matters to ponder.”
“This I cannot promise you Ser,” you answer honestly. “I’ll be awaiting your return.”
“That sight alone might make me forget the pungency these streets carry,” Gwayne parries, a hint of smugness that is purely in jest, and studies the cloth again. “White Lelas... They grow near Goldengrove, do they not?”
“Yes. My late mother used to put them in my crib when I was a mere babe, as my father tells me.” You think of the washed white stone of your grandfathers’ Keep and tall grasses holding a vast array of flowers. Too many to count. “I barely remember what they smell like, but I always thought they were quite charming.”
“Quite indeed,” Gwayne hums, though he is not looking at the cloth anymore. He turns towards his horse, looping it around a buckle on the saddle in a strong knot. The fabric will sway against his leg with every step the steed took. It will be with him when he confronts the enemies of the Crown.
A memory, a constant.
“I hope the day will be upon us soon my Lady,” he says and the kiss on the back of your hand is a farewell.
For now.
Did I purposefully mirror the phrasing of “turned to dust” from Cole's we're-all-going-to die-anyway spiel for possible parallels and continuation purposes? Why, yes. Maybe. It was never my intention to write this anyway but the brainrot is real. Damn you, Freddie!
Thank you for reading
#gwayne hightower#gwayne hightower x reader#gwayne x reader#hotd fic#hotd#house of the dragon#rose's fics
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Lamb
Midnight Mass
Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI
Father John Pruitt/Father Paul hill x fem!reader
Word count:12.3k
Summery: An entire life of being a good girl was a difficult cross to carry...especially in a tiny town with 127 residents on a good day. You kept the town fed and spirits as high as you could, but when a new face steps off the afternoon Breeze, things around you start to change; you don't even know you're in the eye of the storm.
Warnings: nsfw, reader is religious, religious symbolism, ideology, explanations and general conversations of religion, age gap (like this man is 80 technically and he watched reader grow up, and can remember reader as a little girl so if that’s creepy to you then go no further), stalking, manipulation, murder (hello have you seen the show?), drinking of blood, hunting of a person, grief, description of animal death, reader is described as blushing, character death, non consensual help showering, guilt and god maybe more but I think that’s it…this is not really a fix it fic
Notes:
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You were never a fan of when Beverly was given the opportunity to lead worship. You never felt fully untuned- half of the time it felt more akin to a scolding lesson in school than a reminder of Him. She liked to highlight “them and us” between believers and non believers of Crockett. Somehow she always managed to spin things into belittling those who didn’t attend church, and those days were always a little…tense. This was a time of worshiping and remembering God, not a time of a hierarchy.
“Here we are again. Back to normal. Funny how the pews empty back out once everyone has their ashes, isn’t it?” She paused as if to ridicule the non-churchgoers.
You pursed your lips as she continued, and found yourself looking at small details around the church. Chips in the paint, the crosses, the windows, Father Paul gazing at you-
Startled, you looked back to where you had just been looking and sure enough you caught the Father flicking his eyes away just in time as he bowed his head. You stared at him for a moment, but he was fixated on the rosary in his hand.
Had you imagined it?
You kept your eyes down for the rest of the morning, and ridiculed yourself for thinking the Father would look at you. Why would that be a thought that entered your mind? You didn’t even stop to speak with him after church.
If you had looked behind you, however, you would have seen the Father’s forlorn gaze flickering to your form during his conversations- distracted. He turned back to the islander he spoke to and flashed them a tight smile as they moved on and he spoke to the next person, but John felt a hollowness in his gut, and he wasn’t certain it was from hunger.
Even that night when John went for a stroll down the island like he used to, he stopped several yards from your house and forced himself to turn around. He muttered prayers under his breath the entire way back to the rectory, and knelt before the cross on his wall for another hour before he slept.
“Sheriff? Sheriff!” You yelled as you stepped off your bike at the marina the next morning. You needed a couple things from the Mainland, and had a short list you hoped Hassan would be able to get for you during his time there for his Friday prayer.
The man turned, hand on his hip, “Morning to you too.”
“I have a favour?” You gave him your best puppy dog eyes and clasped your hands in front of you.
Hassan rolled his eyes and huffed but you could tell it was a show, “Out with it.”
“I’m just out of a couple things for the shop and you can get them all at this store- I wrote the address down and the list and it’s close to the mosque you go to! Please? There’s some cash in there too.” You held an envelope out hopefully.
He stared at you for a long moment, then slowly took the paper from you, “This isn’t going to be a habit right?”
“Thank you! Thank you thank you, I promise it won’t.” You bounced.
He fixed you another look, but you knew he was smiling a little under that moustache.
“You’re the best!” You called to him when you hopped back on your bike, “Oh! This is for you.” You reached into the basket and retrieved a brown paper bag.
Hassan smiled a little.
“One muffin and a berry tart.” You returned his smile.
He relented. “Fine, fine. I’ll be back this afternoon.” He grumbled.
“Have a safe trip!” You called, “And hey, you really should wash that jean jacket, Sheriff or it might walk away on its own one day!” You quipped and began pedaling away.
Hassan shook his head. He liked having you around. You were a breath of fresh air amongst the stale islanders, and he hoped he could call you a friend one day.
You knew you were cutting it close for Mass, so you sped your way across the island and up the hill to St. Patrick’s where you were happy to see still a few people filing in. You laid your bike down beside the church and jumped up the steps to go and find your spot. One of the perks of a small town was every person had their spot that they sat in- you never had to fight over it.
Your shoulders deflated slightly when Bev took her place atop the pulpit and began the service. “Our responsorial psalm today is Psalm 27. “The Lord is my light and my salvation, whom then shall I fear?”.”
“The Lord is the strength of my life, of whom then shall I be afraid? When evildoers came upon me to eat up my flesh, it was they, my foes and adversaries, who stumbled and fell. Though an army should encamp against me, yet my heart shall not be afraid. And though war should rise up against me, I will put my trust in Him. One thing I have asked of the Lord, one thing I seek, that I may dwell in the house of the Lord, all the days of my life.” Her reading was simple and dry. You found your eyes glazing over, waiting for the Fathers homily.
Then you mentally slapped yourself. This was a time of worship, it didn’t matter if it was boring. You had grown used to the vivid approach he always took during Mass. You laughed a little to yourself when you thought you were a little addicted to it.
As if someone could become addicted to a preacher…don’t be ridiculous.
You remained seated, and watched as Father Paul approached Leeza first for the Eucharist. You liked that he carried on the tradition of serving her first since the accident, even though he wasn’t there. The amount of respect and care he had for the islanders was so selfless.
“Body of Christ, Leeza.” The good Father murmured just as he always did. So gentle.
“Amen.” She said, cupping her hands out.
Silence fell over the church then. You felt confusion fill you when he stopped just a couple steps away from her, and then even took a few steps back.
“Come on. Body of Christ.” He repeated, beckoning her with the wafer.
“Father, what are you doing?” Wade chuckled nervously.
You looked over at Erin, and she had the same look of slight horror that you did. What was he doing? Surely he didn’t think this was a joke.
“Body of Christ.” He repeated.
“What are you doing?” Wade asked again with more of a bite.
Leeza directed her chair to move forward, but Father Paul only stepped back further.
“No. No.” He muttered, and stepped up the stairs of the pulpit.
The worshipers around you began to murmur. You felt pressure start to build in your chest. Anxiety and ire weighing heavy in your stomach the longer he stood there out of her reach. Was he sick? What was he doing?
“Come on. Body of Christ.” Now his voice echoed in the space as he called the girl up to him. Relentless.
“No, stop it.” Erin snapped as she stood, “That’s cruel.”
“Come on.” He repeated, still calm.
Dolly got up and knelt by her daughter, trying to comfort her, “Leeza, honey.” Then she looked up at the pastor and her eyes were like ice, “What is wrong with you?”
“Father Hill enough.” You spoke- emotion making your voice shake.
But still he only stood and waited for Leeza.
You watched Wade stand with his family, each person growing more and more defensive and outraged, “If this is a joke, Father, it’s not funny. I…”
But then, it was as if all air had left the church- all sound gone too. You didn’t know what it was that you were seeing, and you were terrified to blink lest it go away. All horror you felt sunk into the Earth and your head felt light.
Leeza was standing. Freely.
“Leeza?” Wade asked in disbelief.
A woman across from you fainted as she stood.
Your ears felt all prickly and your fingers felt numb.
You could still remember when the accident had happened. How devastating it had been. Hell you used to walk with the Scarboroughs some nights when they went as a family.
Dolly was a mess for almost a year…now they only managed.
Leeza took a step, and then another, and then she was stepping up the stairs and you felt tears start to well in your eyes as you stared up in shock. You couldn’t blink.
“Body of Christ.” Father Hill said once more, and placed the wafer in Leesa’s hands.
“Amen.” She said, voice wavering.
You released a breath, and tore your eyes from Leeza to look up at the Father. He was watching her with such kindness and pride in his eyes as she turned and walked into her parents arms.
Who was he? How could…how could he have known?
Murmurs filled the church as people praised God and crossed themselves.
But you could only see how Father Hill began to sway and cough. He caught himself on the alter, but then pushed himself towards the back door into the vestibule. Your blood began to run cold with worry as he almost ran out of view.
You would have run after him yourself if Bev hadn’t.
Your head was spinning and you felt disconnected from your body.
You didn’t know what to think or do, so you wordlessly walked to Leeza and embraced her. She held you and wept into your shoulder.
You felt your heart.
It hurt.
Ached.
You walked with the Scarboroughs into town to see Dr. Gunning, and kept quiet to let them speak to one another. Disbelief and awe coloured their words as they encouraged their daughter.You kept one arm under Leeza’s while Wade had the other; they talked, and talked until your face hurt from smiling, and you were helping her up the steps to the doctors house.
It all seemed so…miraculous.
Such a God given gift.
Once Leeza was inside safely, you quietly backed out and waved them off. You began your way to your shop, and the entire walk was within a blink of an eye. You might have looked calm and thoughtful from the outside, but oh your mind was churning.
How? How? You could still remember seeing Leeza for the first time after the accident. How broken her and her family was.
You remembered all the specialists they saw and all the visits they made to the mainland. How some visits left them hopeful but most left them even more lost and helpless than the last.
You knew they barely afforded groceries now because of the bills.
Now, you didn’t know if you should weep out of joy or fall to your knees and vomit. It was as if someone you loved had risen from the dead…certainly it was wonderful but somehow you felt a little weary.
Perhaps it was years of empty promises after the oil spill…
You didn’t even remember doing deliveries that day. But somehow you finished them. News travelled quickly- by the time you had been halfway through people were talking to you about little Leezas recovery. You didn’t remember talking much, only saying what a miracle it was. You were back at your shop, just hopping off your bike when you realized you had completely spaced out the entire time.
How?
How…
How did he do that…
It seemed as if something had taken root in the island and had begun changing the chemistry of everything attached to it. First the good moods, now Leeza was walking down Main Street like nothing had happened.
But then when you walked home, you realised how deeply you were dissecting the wonderful event. You wondered if you had become a sceptic without even knowing. Were you so cynical to Gods powers that you questioned his will?
You sat on the edge of your bed, staring down at the rosary in your hands. The little cross glinted in the darkness.
Faith…
Did you lack it?
Had you begun to loose it?
Were you so ungrateful?
You felt tears prickle at your eyes but you refused to let them fall. You needed guidance, not tears. With a heavy heart, you sunk to your knees and began to pray.
It took a full week for you to muster up the courage to ask the Father for an appointment later on Saturday afternoon. Your day to yourself, and your time to relieve your consciousness. Your day to work on yourself.
Which was why you stood on the rectory’s doorstep, fidgeting.
A part of you told you that you were being needy. Selfish. That you just needed to get your head on straight and that you didn’t need to worry the Father with you being self-centred. That if this had been Father Pruitt you wouldn’t have bothered but for some reason you were more willing to see Father Hill.
You knocked, and didn’t have to wait long before the door was being opened. Father Hill stood there with a welcoming smile, “Right on time.” He said, “Come in, y/n.”
You nodded and quietly entered the small house. It felt so strange to be there alone with him. Not uncomfortable just…odd. Like you were somewhere you shouldn’t be.
“Sit, please.” He gestured to the couch, and dragged a chair over from his desk over to sit in front of you.
You perched on the edge, and folded your hands in your lap, “Thank you, Father…I- I know I was a little vague when I asked you to do this…but if I’m honest I’ve always disliked the confessional booth. I’m um…a bit claustrophobic.” You admitted.
He chuckled a little and shook his head, “No apology needed. Sometimes that anonymity that comes with a confessional isn’t right for every confession. I told you I was here when you needed and I meant that.”
His honesty and understanding put you a little at ease. Your nerves were still very much there, though. There was no backing out of this now, so you took a deep breath.
“Have you…have you ever had difficulties with faith, Father?” You asked, eyes flickering to his white collar for half a second.
John admittedly was not expecting that from you. If the implications were that you were having difficulties with faith, then he was surprised. Regardless, he nodded.
“Certainly…we’re all human, even me, and we are made to have ups and downs no matter how dedicated we are to our Lord.” He said gently, resting his elbows on his knees.
You stared back at him, hard. You knew you were ridged. You hadn’t opened up to a soul about this turmoil you had begun to feel, and you hoped to God that Father Hill was the right person to hear you.
You clenched your hands against each other, and put your trust in him.
“I think…I think I’ve become…” you swallowed again when your throat became tight.
Be straightforward.
“I think I’m losing my faith, Father…” you pursed your lips, “It might sound silly for me to say that because you see me at church every day and I’m committed to the community, but I think that I’ve been losing my true love for my faith for a long time…” you whispered. Hearing it out loud made tears start to well in your eyes. You didn’t know why exactly, though perhaps it was the sense that you had failed yourself, your family, your community and your God.
“I’m here with you, y/n…keep going.” He took your hand, and gazed at you, encouraging you.
You took a tight breath.
“It’s just always been a part of my life- getting up and going to Mass and praying before bed and reading the Bible and being a good girl who doesn’t ask too many questions and puts everyone else first and keeps her head down…” you could feel tears start to fall.
“I never really thought about it but…it’s been a couple years now and…it just gets heavier and heavier and I don’t want that burden.”
You bit at your bit as you let everything out, “I read a lot. The internet connection out here is horrible but I’ve done a lot of research on the Bible to try and deepen my understanding and I just find myself tripping over questions, and holes that don’t have answers…things that have been added only a few hundred years ago and things that have been forgotten or omitted…I’ve never even mentioned this to anyone…I think they would assume I was joking because it’s just…a part of who I am. Who I’ve always been…”
You slowly looked back up to Father Hill, and found him watching you patiently. Non-judgemental, just waiting for you to have your time.
John slowly reached out and took your hands in his. You were hanging onto his every move, and he took your silence as a cue to speak.
“Ma-may I?” He asked, and you nodded, “This isn’t about God.”
You blinked. You weren’t expecting that.
Father Hill started again, elaborating,“You feel you’re losing your faith, but I think what you’re losing is yourself. Your sense of self…so much of having faith is endurance and I know you have that. You have faith, young lady and I know you won’t let anything take it from you. You know how I know?” He asked you.
You shook your head.
“Because you’re afraid.” He whispered, his large thumb rubbing your knuckles gently.
You let a tear fall as you held his gaze.
“Because you came here. Luke said “His mercy extends to those who fear him.” And I think that is exactly what will happen for you. I think your fear of God is just a testament of your faith. And I believe you will be granted a great mercy.”.”He said passionately, “But I think what you are truly going through is a need for guidance in yourself.”
You stared at him for a long moment. Perhaps a full minute.
Another tear fell.
Then another.
Then many.
Until you couldn’t see and your cheeks were soaked.
“Shh…shh, that’s okay, I’m with you…shh.” He cooed to you, “I’m here to help…” the Father scooted a little closer.
You nodded, trying to get a hold of yourself, “Sorry-I’m sorry-“
He squeezed your hands.
Had he been holding your hand this entire time?
You took slow shaky breaths until you could speak again.
“I love everyone here…and I do love my life here. It’s simple and fairly easy…but…I can’t help but feel I’m missing something. Like I pretended to be some expectation for so long that now it’s become me and I don’t know how else to be. But realising it is so much worse than just living that way. Delusion is an amazing thing.”
Father Hill sat still for a moment as he thought. “I think being honest will help that turmoil you feel. Nothing too out of your comfort zone but…just enough that you feel truer to yourself…I have been where you are…many years ago. Just as many have.” His voice lulling you into a state of calm.
You looked up at him, eyes starting to dry.
“I had an older sister…” he said gently, “She passed when I was 8…and her death was why I began to look at God and his divine plan and that was where I found my faith. I questioned why and how her death fit into everything and how her death was justified by Him and…in that quest to grieve and find answers, I found some, but I also found God. You are on a similar journey right now and you will find what you’re looking for. It might even be given to you when you least think it will come to you…it may even hurt at first but in time I think you might grow to see it as a revival.”
His words settled into your head, and you sat in comfortable silence for a few moments. One last tear fell, “Thank you, Father Hill.” You smiled.
The older man reached up and gently wiped that last tear away and patted your hand, “For I am the Lord your God who takes hold of your right hand and says to you, Do not fear; I will help you…” he murmured.
You nodded, and sniffled.
“I’ll make some tea.” He said, and stood after one last reassuring look at you. Somehow his calm seeped into you and your body welcomed it like it was made to. Your shoulders were relaxed as was your jaw. You felt at peace with having gone to him.
John needed a moment away from your proximity. It was a miracle he could keep his composure as you sat there- shooting pains rocked his stomach as hunger brutalized his body.
“I noticed St. Patrick’s has been fuller…” you murmured, wanting to direct attention from you.
“Ah- yes well it seems little Leezas recovery has reawakened the faith of many.” He agreed, regaining a steady voice.
“The island has had a religious revival Father,” you said as he returned with two cups of tea, “The only thing that’s changed…is you.” You looked up from the cup in your hands to gage his reaction. It had indeed been something you noticed, as had many people especially after Leeza…
He tapped the edge of his cup as he took a seat beside you on the couch.
You tried to give him the nudge to speak just as he had for you, “You don’t know what it was like before…I haven’t seen people so engaged in sermons before. You…you have a true gift. You have helped to resurrect this island, Father Hill.”
“I’m glad you see it that way.” He smiled a little.
“You help people everyday.” You turned to look at Father Hill directly.
“So do you.” The man shrugged nonchalantly.
Your nose scrunched a little, “Not really…I try to support my community, but I don’t know about helping.”
“No- no. You do, don’t deflect- you do,” Father Hill shook his head, “You know you do too but you’re so used to it that it’s second nature. That’s a blessed attribute to have.” He insisted, “Especially since things haven’t exactly been easy here since that oil spill. I can only imagine…”
You pursed your lips.
“It’s been…difficult. It’s better now but it was horrible for a long time. I just…” you looked down at the warm liquid in your cup, “I believe you can’t wait for life to be easy before you decide to start helping the people you love.” You muttered.
John felt his heart tug- this time not out of pain. It was a tug of sorrow. As he gazed at this young woman beside him he began to feel as if the two of you were kindred spirits of some kind. You both shared a look, and John found that he had come to understand you a little better, and he began to understand why you were the one he saw first that day on the dock.
You parted ways with the Father sometime later into the evening. It had been a little odd how he had almost ushered you out as soon as he had noticed the darkness outside. He had said something about not wanting a young woman like you being outside at night. You had almost laughed at how old he had sounded.
John had caught the tug of your lips that you hid by ducking your head down. He liked that you smiled around him- that you weren’t afraid…
It would make everything so much easier. You are already to receptive to his guidance…
You left the rectory that night feeling as if something had taken root in you too. Perhaps it was the Fathers spirit of hope settling into your sinew and melding with your blood that had you feeling a little more…looked after.
Cared for.
Seen.
You felt as if you truly were not alone. Like he was always with you even as you walked home.
After your confession, you found yourself bumping into the Father often in town. On a few occasions he walked you home after your working day was done if he happened to be in the area, and you even stopped by the rectory to borrow a book. You found a deep solace being near the preacher, and in your need for a cure to your listlessness, you didn’t even stop to think if you were following his word or God’s.
His sweet, compelling, passionate words that seemed to evoke such a vivaciousness in you.
You started bringing batches of baked goods on Sundays too. Nothing extravagant, but something for the worshipers to enjoy after. There was something in you, pushing you to do better, but on your own terms. Doing it for your own pleasure and not the pleasure of others.
You noticed how that laughter from the potluck was now a common thing. Smiles were normal. You heard people joking, and going for evening walks and morning jogs. Kisses and hugs.
Was there something in the air?
But while you were enjoying your new outlook on life, John could not be more worried for you. It had been two weeks now that he wasn’t able to give you the sacrament. He had tried once more after your first comment but he heard you say something to Bev about it.
Certainly you had a little of the gift in you…but it wasn’t enough. Perhaps a tablespoon. Only enough to make you feel a little brighter, but not enough to…to change. Revive.
He was at a loss.
But the more he prayed, the more he came to realize that perhaps it wasn’t your time. It would come. He knew it would. It had to. And when it did you too would be blessed…even if he was the one to bless you himself.
“Three weeks ago, when we began this journey of repentance, I asked those of you were here to keep a few words in mind. Rebirth, second chances, eternal life. That's a lot to wrap your head around, isn't it? I can barely visualize next week, let alone eternity, But, I mean, for most of us, eternity, it’s an abstract. It’s a metaphor, a colorful exaggeration. When we’re waiting for something we want, it takes forever.We sit in traffic for an eternity. Abstracts, metaphors, colorful exaggerations. To us, maybe, but not to God. Not to Him. ..” he said thoughtfully, “And it shouldn’t be for us, either. Communion, the transformation of bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ. A metaphor? No,” he slapped the pulpit, “God tells us. Miracles, walking on water, rising from the dead. Abstracts? No.” He slapped it again, “God tells us. Eternal life, a colorful exaggeration?”
You heard Wade say “no”, and the verbalisation made you jump a little. No one usually spoke.
“No? That’s right. You call it out.God’s gifts are as tangible as the ground beneath our feet,” he stomped the pedestal, and you jumped again.
“And His covenant, it’s not abstract. No. It’s a contract, scrawled in flesh, inked in the blood of the martyrs. And yet, try as we might, we cannot visualize, we cannot mentally picture the rewards promised…” you noticed him fan himself for a moment, and you were suddenly snapped from your trance.
Was he alright?
“Well, if you’re here seeking to know answers to the unknowable, it’s incumbent upon me to tell you that I have none. And if you want to know why or how God’s will shapes the world, brothers and sisters, so do I. I don’t have all the answers. Nobody does. What I do have though, and what God gives us plentifully, are mysteries.God gives us miracles very rarely, here and there, but mysteries?…”
Your worry began to grow when the Father stopped all together. He seemed to adjust himself where he stood, though somehow he still didn’t seem quite right.
“Sorry. Um…As… adults, we tend to dislike mysteries. We… We feel uncomfortable not knowing.No. To be a child. To look with awe and wonder, and live with staggering honesty. To be guiltless, light as air. To bend softly as the word of God sweeps…” he speech began to grow almost wandering. As if he wasn’t entirely lucid…almost like the old Monsignor-
John felt his stomach twitch with pain as he stood before his growing flock. He could barely see let alone think as his body seemed to betray itself.
“I’m very sorry. I’m…Sorry, I’m just a little bit tired today. A tiny dizzy spell. It’s passed. I’m fine. Sorry. I’m very sorry. Um…The more that we know, the less we bend. The more brittle we become, the easier to break. Like some would say this island broke. Was broken. But I am here to tell you…the resurrection, body and soul, the redemption, body and soul, the miracles waiting for us here on Crockett Island. Not metaphors, not abstracts, not colorful exaggerations, no. Rebirth, second chances. Eter…”
You watched in horror as Father Hill tumbled to the ground with a thud. There was a rush to help him, but your mind seemed to click into gear when you quickly grabbed one of the phones left on a pew and dialled Dr. Gunning’s office.
She barely got a word out before you; your voice shook as you spoke quickly, “The- Father Hill- he’s collapsed, please come up to the church, Doctor.” You rushed out.
“Calm down, calm down, is he breathing?” She said, calm as ever.
You stood quickly and rushed over to the crowd. Without a thought, you knelt beside the Father and placed your ear on his chest.
“What on earth-“ Bev started to ask, from her spot beside you, but you didn’t pay attention as you sat up again and put the phone to your ear.
“Yes he is.” You said.
“I’ll be there soon. Get him some air if he wakes up.” She sighed.
You nodded, and hung up.
“Well?” Bev snapped at you.
You blinked, “Dr. Gunning- She’ll be here soon…water- uh can- can someone get some cool water and a towel please?” You tried to think of anything you could do to help in the meantime.
Someone started to go, but it seemed Bev wanted to be involved. “I’ll get it.” She huffed and disappeared from your side.
Wade crouched beside you, and checked over Father Hill. He looked over at you and you gave him a reassuring smile. “I think the Father could use some air, Mr.Mayor.”
He nodded and looked up that the distressed crowd.
“It’s alright everyone. If he could get some room please? He needs extra air…Sturge could you open the door please?” Wade asked.
The man in question nodded and did as he asked while the townspeople began to disperse.
Bev returned a moment later and you took the cloth from her and dampened it from the bowl of water.
“Thank you…” you mumbled, then very gently began to dab at Father Hill’s forehead, then at the skin peaking out from his chasuble around his neck.
A few minutes passed with Beverly fussing in the background, but slowly you noticed his colour returning, and eyes start to flicker until they opened slowly. You felt relief fill you up and you sighed.
John gazed up at you and he swore there was a halo surrounding your head as you sat over him. Your brows scrunched in worry, but your watchful eyes gazing down at him.
“Glory be…” Came his whisper.
You looked down at him and wiped his brow once more. The man blinked a few more times then went to sit up, but several hands rushed to keep him down.
“Slowly, Father…slowly.” Someone said.
You helped the Father rise up to sit, and dabbed the back of his neck. “You passed out Father.” you said.
“I’m sorry- so sorry…” he nodded. grinding his teeth slightly when a wave of pain hit him, “I’m…uh not sure what’s wrong with me today.” He said as humorously as he could, though both he and the islanders knew there was nothing to joke about.
Even as you watched Sturge and Wade help him into the rectory with Sarah and Bev, you couldn’t shake the feeling that there was something gravely wrong with him. Not that you have ever exactly noticed anything…but certainly there were times where he seemed to almost clench, and work through a minor pain- covering it with a cough or stretch. Things that were so barely there you wouldn’t even think twice.
While that day was your day to yourself and the shop was closed, you found that you were listless. Worried, curious. Fretting.
So silly really.
You mindlessly baked a batch of muffins, and remembered halfway through how much the Father liked them. On more than one occasion he had stopped by to purchase a few.
You put a few in a container, and set out on your bike across the island. You hoped he was doing well… if he didn’t answer you were content with just leaving them on his stoop, though you found yourself wanting to see for yourself that he was alright.
You leaned your bike by the church, and strode over to the rectory. It was still afternoon, and you hoped you could catch him before he went to the Gunnings. You thought it was so sweet that he did that for Mildred.
You knocked, and waited. It was quiet for a long moment, then the door opened slowly. Father Hill stood before you disheveled. His top button was undone, collar missing, and his hair looked to have been brushed back with his fingers.
“Oh- y/n please…come in.” He moved aside.
You looked to the side then slowly walked into the small home. It was cozy and simple. It felt warm. “I’m so sorry for bothering you father…I’m sure you’ve had plenty of people coming by to check on you…” you trailed off, looking for a spot to but the container down.
“Nonsense…I was hoping you could come actually…” he said quietly, gingerly perching against the edge of the kitchen counter, “I wanted to thank you.”
That caught you off guard.
You blinked, and shook your head, “What for?”
“For extending that helping hand of yours to me. It was a joy to be helped by you. A blessing- you are a uh, a blessing.” Father Hill stared back at you like he meant every word he said and more, though you couldn’t help but notice the slightly delirious stare he had.
You hadn’t expected anything like this when you had set out to drop off the muffins still in your hands, but you found yourself growing warm at his praise.
“I-well I just…-“
“Just what? Did what anyone would do?” He cut you off, smiling a little wearily.
“Yes…”you admitted.
“And did anyone else do what you did?” He prodded, head tilting so slightly to the side.
You looked down, then back up at him, and shook your head.
“And now you come here again to my aid with something that is not a casserole you see you truly are just wonderful.” He smiled a little more, and you did too, and laughed.
“Ah… the Crockett islanders at their finest. If ever you’re sick you will have at least a few of those in your fridge by night fall.” You joked, though it was true, “I- um I remember you liked those muffins that I made last week and I was worr- I made some extra and thought you might like them.” You caught yourself.
“Thank you, dear girl…” he said, but winced when he went to say something else. You placed the container down on the counter beside him and gently put your hand on his arm.
“Father? Are you feeling dizzy?” You asked.
“I- I am just a little…” he admitted, blinking a few times to get through the fog.
“I’ll help you to your room. Rest for a while, alright?” You took his arm and slowly directed him to the back of the rectory where you assumed he slept.
“I’m fine…just tired.” He tried to reassure you.
“I’m sure you are Father.” You walked him to the edge of his bed, and sat him down, “Rest. I’m sure you’ll feel better in the morning.”
“You’re a good girl, y/n, thank you. You’ve made this adjustment blessedly easy.” He told you, staring up at you.
You saw something in his weary gaze then. You didn’t know what it was. But you somehow noted it in your mind.
You squeezed the hand of his that held yours, “Rest, Father. God willing, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
Father Paul nodded, “You will.” He smiled weakly.
You released his hand, and gave him a small wave before leaving the small house. You felt sorry for the man being all alone there, but you were sure Bev would be by to pester him soon if she hadn’t already.
Then as you picked your bike up, you heard the crunching of gravel under shoes. You looked up to see the very woman. “Hello Bev.” You called to her.
“Ah, y/n. I do hope you haven’t bothered Father Hill too much.” She smiled tersely.
“Not at all. Just dropped off something that wasn’t a casserole.” You smiled a little more genuine.
“Well, thank you for your contribution. Very kind.” With that she turned and began to walk past you. You half considered telling her he was resting, but you knew it wouldn’t deter her. You sighed, and peddled away.
Another shift had begun around you. Off balanced.
You noticed it in small things.
Not necessarily bad, but not especially good. Less and less wildlife hummed around the bushes and trees, and you noticed how there was such a divide between the attitudes of church goers and non. Conversing with someone who didn’t attend now felt like a bucket of cold water in comparison to those who you saw regularly. Like there was a bubble around the parishioners. And you weren’t certain you liked that.
Your worry only deepened when you went to Mass the next morning only to see that it would be candelled that day. A frown tugged at your mouth, though you tried to not think too much about it. The Father was ill, you knew that. It was nothing else but that.
It wasn’t as if you knew that the very man was dodging the gaps in the curtains to look out at his flock returning to their homes and jobs without their daily Mass. And of course there you stood- a worried look muddling your beautiful face.
Had you always been so pretty?
Vibrant.
A halo around your hair where the sun caught it.
John watched you back away from the church, though he saw you clench and unclench your hands and look to and from the church to the rectory. You wanted to check on him. Such a dutiful lamb.
Something visceral in him made him nearly open the door and call you inside. Beckon you to him. Just as he felt that need there was an ache in his mouth like he needed to bite, hard. A side affect to…to dying he supposed. He put his trust in God but this hurt was unbearable.
John prayed and wept and doubled over as he accepted and waded through the pain. The bulk of it finally subsided by the evening. It seemed almost as if as soon as the sun had gone down his body relaxed.
Just a little.
Enough to make himself look presentable, and step out from his front door no matter how nervously.
Like his body knew he was safe with the sun down. No more burns.
As he strode across the island, John found himself marvelling at the new-found beauty around him. Living halos of light around the stars, and lamplights. Colours and smells and sounds he had never experienced. He could almost feel the earth breathe.
Seeing Millie in her home that night was something special. She remembered him. Saw him. He could have weapt just by seeing the look of recognition on her face. Feeling her hands hold his and that smile. John’s heart ached.
As did his stomach. Painfully.
So hungry.
John hurried along after the little reprieve with Mildred, but found himself taking a little detour. He didn’t mean to; his feet just took him that way. Just a little bit of a longer walk home.
Past your house.
Your curtains were open again.
John found himself walking a little closer, something enticing drawing him in. He stood just outside your window. You were just getting ready for bed…he could almost smell you; all fresh from the shower.
John sighed, then winced when another surge of hunger punched his stomach. That ache he had felt in his jaw returned tenfold, and he felt his vision start to fade.
There was nothing to do but get back to the rectory. Quickly. John employed his long strides and muttered prayers under his breath. He needed to be away. Hide. There was no preparation for this next phase of revival. He wasn’t ready. This deep carnal hunger was eating away at him. He needed more of the sacrament.
Now.
He needed help. John paced the rectory, and felt his nerves and veins and muscles and tendons tugging at him, begging him for nourishment. Feed me, Father, feed me.
“Angel of God my, guardian dear to whom Gods love commits me here…”
He mindlessly grasped the bottle of communion wine, and let it empty down the back of his throat yet it somehow wasn’t enough. He needed more.
More more-
“Uh…Father?”
Something deep inside John Pruitt unfurled then. It began to seep into his tissue and into his bloodstream. John turned, startled.
“Oh…Hello Joe.”
The following morning was a little bit of a slow one for you. You half considered calling the rectory just to see if there would indeed be Mass at all, but decided against it. You brushed your hair, and tied it back; grabbed any extra ingredients you needed for the morning and set off.
Even as you kneaded the doughs and whipped cream and stirred batter you found yourself lagging.
The walk to Mass was slow too.
Off kilter.
You took your usual seat, but your brows pinch together when you saw Ali sitting not too far from you. You looked to see if Hassan had come with him, but to only deepen your confusion, he was alone. You leaned forward a little in your pew, “Ali?” You murmured loud enough for him.
The boy jumped a little, but relaxed when he saw it was you.
“Come.” You smiled and patted the spot beside you, and he instantly looked grateful. Ali stood and made his way back to you, and you sent him another smile as he sat. You didn’t ask him why he was there, it wasn’t your business. You had always liked Ali- a sweet boy with good manners for the most part.
Then, you looked to the other side of the church, and noticed that Erin was missing. She never missed Sunday Mass. Never.
Something in your stomach curled tight.
An anxious feeling of anticipation.
Without the presence of Father Hill to envelope the church, you found yourself gazing around the building. You looked at the windows, and the pews until your gaze fell upon the wooden figure of Jesus crucified.
Had it always been so grotesque?
Were you worshiping a man? God was supposed to be a being that governed over everything…omnipotent…why would he descend to earth in the body of a man? Why would he need to if he created messengers like Moses and Noah and so many others…
Your mind began to spin out of control until you were starting to wonder what you were doing there.
The distress you felt only grew deeper when a half hour passed, and Father Hill still hadn’t made an appearance. You looked over at Annie, then even looked up at that back of Bev’s head as if she might have an answer written there.
Finally the woman had had enough and made her way to the rectory. You perched on your seat, waiting for anything to happen. It was nearly another twenty minutes that passed before Bev returned- faux smile already on her face as she took a spot upon the pulpit.
“Good morning!” She began, “Well I have to tell you it is such a delight to see this church so full every day, thank God. I'm afraid this morning though that we have to - well, I think we'll have to cancel Mass.”
You scrunched your brows in surprise. But then that feeling you had had inside you tilted again, a little more in the wrong direction. Twisting. You felt nauseated.
“Father Paul's bouncing back from a stomach bug, poor thing, and I just had to physically restrain the dear man and put him to bed, he was so determined to be here! He'll be back on his feet in just no time at all but this morning, at least, our dear Dolly Scarborough - come up here Dolly…” she encouraged Dolly to come up beside her, and while the good natured woman did, she was just as confused as the rest of the churchgoers.
There had certainly been times with Monsignor Pruitt when his health was hanging by a thread and Mass was cancelled but…Father Hill was in prime condition how could he still be so ill?
“Uh, maybe Dolly can lead us in singing, and some readings, and some prayer, and we can still celebrate together, like the Christians of old, who sang praises to God long before they had priests to lead the way. Uh let’s start with Hymn number 473, "Be Thou My Vision". Dolly, can you lead us?” Bev looked over to Andy who began to play his organ, and slowly everyone followed Dolly’s singing.
But then you watched as Bev began to leave again, this time accompanied by Sturge and Wade. They disappeared out through the vestibule, and you mentally snapped yourself back from trying to see what happened.
Your curiosity started to gnaw at you so badly you almost missed the cue to sit down.
Mass ended simply…or rather it deflated. A somewhat awkward shuffle out the door was the end of Mass that day. Murmurs and worries stares at the rectory as everyone filed out and meandered down the hill to Main street.
You glanced over to the rectory, and paused when you saw Bev exit. You moved a little back from the entrance along the side of the church to catch her.
“You’re sure Father Hill is alright?” You asked her as she strode to the back door of the church.
“Just fine. In need of a little more rest we think. Nothing to worry about.” She said a little more brightly than usual. You felt in your gut there was a lie in her words.
“Annie’s making a hearty stew tonight I could stop by and bring him some-“
“No!” She snapped, then softened a little when she saw how startled you were, “No, no he needs to be undisturbed today. Thank you, y/n. Bless you.”
You nodded slowly, and flicked your eyes over to the small building. You could have sworn you saw the curtain move.
“Alright, Bev…take care.” You said. Something was making your nerves itch under your skin. Like an internal fear response that you didn’t usually need.
A cord was plucked inside you.
A voice inside you telling you to leave.
It wasn’t that Bev had snapped at you, or that you felt she was hiding something. It was that St. Patrick’s had always been a place of peace and safety for you, and now you found yourself wanting to be far from it. You feet almost itching to run.
You didn’t run. But you did walk quickly. You wished you had taken your bike that day.
You cast one last look at the rectory. Sturge and Wade still hadn’t come out.
Your feet acted for you, and carried you away from the church. Away from that itch.
Once the general store came into view, you hesitated in going directly to your shop. Since Mass had ended early, you didn’t need to start deliveries yet; instead, you walked into the store, and towards the sheriffs office. You waved at the old man working at the counter- Gerald- and knocked on the officers door.
“Come.” Came his voice.
You opened the door, and sure enough, Hassan was seated at his desk, reading a paper from a file on his desk.
“What can I- oh.” He said, then stopped upon seeing you, “Y/n? Everything alright?” He was suddenly concerned at the prospect of you coming to his office.
Your eyes widened, “Oh- yes fine. Sorry um…I just… I don’t know if you want to…talk about it but…I saw Ali today. At Mass.”
Hassan sighed heavily, “Ah…yeah he…” he didn’t finish his sentence.
“Curious?” You asked.
But the man only sighed again, “I love that my son is interested in God and looking for him…but…” he started.
“But you already have God.” You finished for him.
He nodded, “He’s not praying with me anymore…we fight…he just…I can’t lose him.”
You nodded, “I know…I can keep an eye on him, if you’d like?” You offered a little weakly- you knew there wasn’t much you could do.
“Thank you…I don’t want to discourage him but …he’s not Christian. He knows why we’re Muslim and it’s…” he didn’t know where to start with the issue. “Bev Keene handed out bibles at school last week. Since then…” he look his head, “I think he mostly is interested in it because he wants to fit in.” Hassan sighed and rubbed his brow.
You nodded, “I’m sorry Hassan…this…this must be hard to watch. Doesn’t help that he’s a teenager. Teens are…difficult to reason with.”
He huffed out a bitter laugh, “I only pray that he returns to his faith.”
“God willing, he will.” You didn’t know how to comfort the man, but it seemed that just having someone there helped.
“Inshallah…” he muttered.
You tilted your head in question.
“Means “God willing.”…” he explained.
“Ah…” you said. Silence filled the office, and you clasped your hands. “There’s…have you thought about asking to be stationed somewhere else? Maybe somewhere with other Muslims? He might just be missing that connection…”
“I’ve thought about it…hard to uproot a kid again though.” He crossed his arms.
You wanted to help him. You really wanted to help. This man was alone, and was practically ostracized by the very town he was supposed to protect and serve. You were almost certain you were the closest thing he had to a friend, and you needed to say something.
“You know…I don’t really fully believe Jesus is God.” You blurted out.
He looked up at you then.
You flushed. You hadn’t meant for it to come out like that, “Sorry…I just…just because I go to Mass doesn’t mean I believe everything.”
“Aren’t you Christian?” He asked.
“I…used to be. It’s more of a habit that I go to church. Been going since I was a kid. But…when you first came here that was the first time I heard about Islam…properly. You don’t believe Jesus was god either right?” You asked.
He shook his head.
“He was just another messenger…prophet. I did some reading a while ago and I found that the holy trinity is actually a new thing in Christianity…and I began to wonder what else was “new” or what had been taken out…I guess I’m just trying to say that…Ali might look for God somewhere else but you never know…he might find that the church is flawed and just come right back to you and Allah.” You mused.
Hassan felt tears prick at his eyes. “Thank y/n…thank you.”
You smiled, and nodded, “I’ll um…I’ll leave you to it. Come by later. Lunch is on me.”
“You’re gonna make me fat.” He grumbled
“A little pudge is cute.” You shrugged as you opened the door.
“You’re a bad influence.” He shot back- his walls back up as the door to the outside opened- literally.
“Guess you’ll just have to lock me away, sheriff!” You chirped, and smiled, then closed the door.
But as you turned away and walked back through the shop, that smile faded away.
Everything was changing.
Fast…so fast. Hassan and Ali had been on Crockett for close to a year, and you had never heard Ali mention something about church.
You knew the miracle with Leeza had been drawing many people in, but you could still accept it as a miracle without changing your beliefs.
Did he just want to fit in?
Was he just curious?
Then you remembered how you had felt that morning as you waited for Father Hill. That feeling of trepidation that seeded in your navel and seared into your fingertips.
When you unlocked the door to your shop, you wondered if it was because there was nothing to distract you as you sat in the church. Everyday there was something to keep you busy- the doddering Monsignor or now the invigorating Father. Something to guide you. But once you were left with your thoughts…you started to think a little too much.
Now you weren’t stupid- far from it. You thought a lot. Constantly. But there was something pressing about sitting in that church. You almost felt like you had woken up when you had stood outside the rectory.
Nervous.
Yes you had felt…so nervous as Bev stood there with you.
You wondered if that was how lambs felt before they were taken for slaughter.
Oh what a gruesome thought…pull yourself together.
You were spiralling into the morbid.
Tomorrow would be better.
You focused on that. Yes. Yes tomorrow would be better.
GOOD FRIDAY MASS AT 8PM
E4STER VIGIL SUN MIDNIG-
You watched as Sturge finished with the H and T.
That chord in you struck again. You twitched. The dread in your stomach rolling around like a marble on a metal track.
Leeza stood beside you, confused as ever, “Wait…you're saying every night? No morning Masses at all?” She asked.
Sturge sighed, “Time being.”
Your brows scrunched up, but you schooled your expression when Leeza looked over at you. No need to let her see your worry.
“Father Paul probably just needs another morning or two to recover from that head cold- but he’ll be up and about tonight. Isn’t that right Sturge?” Wade tried to reassure the crowd as a good mayor should, but you knew Wade. And you knew something wasn’t right.
“Yessir, spoke with him myself this morning’…feeling’ much better.” Sturge agreed.
You looked over at the weathered man, and noted that he was off too.
Rehearsed.
You made Sturge a birthday cake every year and the extent of his appreciation was a “Thanks.” Sturge was never a man of many words, and defiantly wouldn’t over explain something.
Wade nodded now, “Dolly spoke to him too and he had a few things to say about Good Friday isn’t that right, honey?” He asked his wife.
You turned to the woman in question, and saw that she was looking somewhere else.
“Dolly?” You heard Wade say, but he trailed off
You saw what she was looking at, and you understood why. You had seen Mildred Gunning now a few times on your deliveries to her house, but seeing her up and walking outside made you stop short. Certainly you had noticed how she was practically aging backwards, but you had only assumed Sarah was trying a new treatment for her.
But this. The walk across the island was a half hour on a good day. And there she was in her Sunday best.
The crowd of islanders began murmuring amongst themselves, and began embracing the older woman. You held back just a little, though your practiced smile was on your face. Your eyes found Sarah beside her, and somehow you weren’t sure if you found solace or anxiety in what you saw there.
She had the same look on her face that you were hiding on yours under your smile.
It wasn’t grim, but it wasn’t joyous.
You slowly began back into town. You missed Mass. You missed that energy that the good Father Hill brought to the church. You missed-
You shook yourself.
Stop it.
What’s wrong with you?
Suddenly, that perfect little routine you had made for yourself for years…was crumbling. You no longer felt the peace you once did, and now it seemed you had to flip the routine completely.
Nightly Mass.
You pursed your lips.
“Have a minute?”
You turned and saw the Sheriff coming towards you as you unlocked your door.
You nodded and grinned softly, “Morning, sure thing.”
The two of you entered the little store and you closed it behind you.
“Everything okay?” You asked when Hassan stood quietly.
“You know that kid, Bowl?” He asked.
You blinked, “Sure I do. Bit of a troubled kid.”
Hassan nodded, “You seen him lately?”
You frowned, “Can’t say I have.”
“Alright…worth a shot. You’re the youngest one here aside from the kids so…just wanted to ask.” He sighed.
“I’m sorry…” you wrung your hands, “Have um…have you seen Joe lately?” You asked, suddenly remembering the quietness in the sheriffs office and lack of grumbled greetings.
At that the sheriff hung his head a little, “No…no but I need to speak to him…I’ll let you know if I find him.”
You took a breath in and held it a little to try and calm yourself, “Alright.”
“I’ll see you later, y/n. Don’t work too hard.” He murmured, as he opened the door.
“You too, Hassan.” You said a little absentmindedly.
He left you to your thoughts. With Mass cancelled again, you had far too much time to kill before you really needed to start deliveries.
You sat on your little stool behind the counter, and found a book Father Hill had lent you almost a week ago under your receipt box.
The Divine Comedy: Dante’s inferno.
You began to read. Too afraid to let your thoughts run rampant again.
Nightime wasn’t much better. You felt something pulling in you to go and visit the rectory. No one outside of the Scarboroughs, Sturge and Bev had seen the Father, and there was that nagging feeling in you that you needed to see if he was alright. Why couldn’t he just come out to tell everyone he was on the mend? What was there all this dancing around?
You stood on your porch, cardigan pulled tight around you as you fought with yourself internally.
Then, just as you went to take a step, a gust of wind pushed you back. You felt that anxiety strum within you once again. Your gut cried to you to not go, and with blood running cold, you went inside and shut the door.
You closed your curtains that night, and prayed to any God that would listen. You didn’t know why fear had rooted itself so deep within your heart, and somehow that frightened you more.
You were afraid.
So afraid.
Good Friday. You put on that dress your mom had gotten you last year for Christmas- she said it brought out your eyes. You grabbed a warm sweater, and socks, and left for Mass.
It was strange walking across the island as the sun set. You strode calmly, pushing that nagging feeling that sat in the back of your throat away.
“Y/n!”
You turned and saw Sarah and Mildred walking behind you not too far. You smiled, “Hello you two!” You chirped. You might have been suffering from an internal turmoil but you weren’t about to let them know.
“Sarah, Mrs.Gunning. Happy to see you both coming tonight.” You smiled and fell into step with them.
Mildred nodded, “It’s been years…” she mused, then stopped and held your arm, “You’ve been so good to us over the years, dear…Sarah’s been telling me and…I wanted to thank you.”
You waved her off and smiled, “Oh it was nothing. Happy to make your lives easier.”
“You have…really. Thank you.” Sarah nodded, a tight smile on her lips.
“You’re a good girl, y/n.” Mildred smiled gently.
You returned it, “Come on…hopefully Father Hill is well enough to preach today.”
The three of you walked the rest of the way, and you noticed how many times Mildred was stared at. She smiled and nodded when people looked, breaking any tension. Then as you walked up to the church, you saw Bev standing to greet the parishioners.
You smiled at her, though she looked straight past you to greet Mildred. You nodded to Sarah, and left them there to talk.
You took your seat, and not long after, the Gunnings took theirs directly in front of you. You wondered if that was where Mildred used to sit before she grew too ill.
Several more minutes passed, until you heard that low voice of the good father from the door of the church to begin service, “All rise for our processional hymn- number 139 in the red hymnal: At the cross , at the cross.”
You rose to your feet, and began to sing, but you couldn’t help but feel relieved that Father Hill was alright. It had been days since only a couple people saw him, and while you would never assume any deception from your elders…the secrecy seemed so strange.
“They took the body of Jesus, and bound it with the burial cloths along with the spices, according to the Jewish burial custom.” Dolly stood on the pulpit, reading from her bible. The church was full around you, and you found yourself slowly feeling at ease. You felt so silly for having been distressed.
“Now in the place where he had been crucified, there was a garden, and in the garden, a new tomb in which no one had yet been buried. So, they laid Jesus there because of the Jewish preparation day. For the tomb was close by. The Gospel of the Lord.” She finished.
“Praise to you, Lord Jesus Christ.” You and the other churchgoers answered.
Then as soon as Dolly stepped down, you found your eyes locked onto Father Hill as he took his place. You took a moment to take him in after it being a few days of not seeing him. Indeed he did look well- skin no longer waxy and pale. There was something else to his presence though, and you couldn’t quite put your finger on it. It almost felt like…home. What you came for. What you took comfort in.
That thought startled you.
“Good Friday. This is one of my favorite days of the year. The passion of our Lord. Just that word, “passion.” The word “passion,” it means a strong and barely controllable emotion. Barely controllable. That’s what Jesus felt when he gave his life for us, so that we might have life eternal. What a gift, told so beautifully in the Gospel of John. “Gospel” means good news! Good news on Good Friday. And yet, it’s a story of such profound suffering. What’s so good about that?” He paused to take in the filled church. You could see the pride he felt having brought the community together. You smiled a little.
“Jesus’s suffering in this story, it isn’t simply necessary. It is good. It is the price of eternal life. That suffering, he endures alone. At the Resurrection, he is alone. And then… Well… Ah, he has a few allies. And then more. A congregation. And then more and more people spread that good news. Tell that good story. And then, God has an army. What do they say in that commercial? Uh, “Be all that you can be.” Well, I mean no offense to the armed services, which are necessary and of course honorable, but that’s not all that you can be. In the Army, you’re fighting for God and country.”
You heard a few people murmur amongst you; admiration shining in their eyes as they listens to their preacher.
“Now, I am going to offend you now, but it is the truth. God does not want you to fight for this country. The arrogance… of that. God has no country. There is one God for the world. And the lines we draw, and the treaties we draft, and the borders we close mean nothing to Him. No, don’t fight for a country. You fight for God’s kingdom. A kingdom which Jesus tells us has no flags or borders. God’s army.”
You felt your throat tighten and your nose prickle.
“Now make no mistake. It is a war. That’s what an army is for.So, as a congregation, as God’s army, how do we know how the fight is going? We can’t see it. We can’t radio HQ for a status report. All we have, all God gives us, is right here.” He pointed to his chest, “How we feel. That moral compass inside each one of us pointing due north to the Holy Spirit. Conscience. In the army of God, conscience is standard issue. There are many like it, but this one is mine. You may think that that’s a line from a war movie, but it isn’t. That’s actually the Rifleman’s Creed. And a creed is, by definition, not just a belief, but it is a religious one. ” You could feel yourself hang onto each word. Rapt.
“So, it is a war, and there will be casualties. And we must be soldiers. That is what Good Friday is about. God will ask horrible things of you. Horrible. Just look at what He asked of His own son. Just look at what Jesus had to endure today. We had to call it the “New Covenant,” because God’s will, while perfect, changes.God’s will dictates morality, and as God’s will changes, so does morality change. It changed with the New Covenant. It changed when Jesus came, and we must, as his army, shed the Old Covenant and listen only to that. You rely on that compass. Good Friday is only good. The Gospel of the Lord, so full of horror, is only good, because of where it is headed. The Resurrection. Today is only good because of what’s coming Easter, this Sunday. When Jesus is risen, and death itself is lain dead. What is otherwise horrible is good because of where it’s headed. Welcome to God’s army. Yeah, we’re gonna do great things.”
Your blood rushed in your ears as Father Hill finished.
You somehow felt refreshed…full. You supposed you needed that sense of belonging amongst the other islanders. But when you went to converse with the Gunnings, you were surprised to see them already shuffling out towards the door as soon as Sturge had opened them. You wondered if perhaps it was all too tiring for Mildred and they needed to get home soon.
You sighed, and stood to find Annie. She was there with Ed, but they seemed off too. “Hi Annie, Ed…any plans for Easter?” You asked as you joined them in the thinning crowd.
But then you saw the anxiety in the older woman’s eyes. You knew instantly that something was very wrong. “Annie?” You asked, putting a hand on her arm.
“Oh it…it’s nothing. You know me.” She waved it off, “We uh were thinking of having a nice family dinner. You’re welcome to come of course.” She forced a smile.
You waited patiently with a gentle nod until she told you what was going on. She always did.
“Riley…he- we haven’t seen him all day.” She finally said.
Your brows pitched in worry, “Oh I’m- I’m sorry…maybe he’s with Erin? They’re close right?” You asked, trying to keep their spirits up.
“Probably. Like I said it’s nothing.” She reassured you again, “Anyways, isn’t that the dress your mom got you? What was it…your birthday last year?” She changed the subject, and you let her.
“Christmas.” You smiled, “Thought I’d pull it out of the closet.”
“You look lovely. See you tomorrow?” She asked, already moving out and down the aisle with the remaining parishioners and pulling Ed with her.
“Most likely! You know me…always around.” You nodded, following after them.
“Take care now!” She called back, and her husband gave you a small wave before they disappeared down the stairs and onto the road.
Now left to your solitude, you felt butterflies take wing in your stomach. You sucked in a breath, and began down the stairs after saying goodbye to another few islanders you knew speaking to Bev. You stepped outside, head a little in the clouds when you nearly jumped.
“There she is. How are you, my dear girl?” Father Hill stood at the bottom of the stairs wishing each of his flock goodbye.
You looked up at him as you came to stand beside him. But he wasn’t as vibrant as he usually was. You noticed a certain darkness in his eyes…
Of course he looks like that he’s been sick for days
You mentally throttled yourself.
“I’m well, thank you Father. You seem better.” You smiled a little, though perhaps not as wide as usual.
He noticed.
“Yes…yes much, thank you. Everyone has been so accommodating with me…so helpful. Good people.” He mused.
You nodded, “They are.”
John could almost feel your pulse in his head as you gazed up at him- so docile. The light from St. Patrick’s spilled over you and lit you like a holy revelation. He could smell your skin from his place a few feet away…could tell that you washed your hair not too long ago. But despite the loveliness of having you so close, John knew something in you was shifting.
You were more…anxious. Looking for justification to trust.
Skittish but still coming to his presence so diligently.
Like you didn’t even know what you were afraid of.
No need to fear sweet lamb…I am with you…
You started to shift away from him then, but it almost seemed like he didn’t quite want you to go. His gaze still locked onto you. “I trust I’ll see you on Sunday?”
You laughed a little, “No, no I think I’ll skip it.”
His face seemed to fall for a moment, but when you didn’t stop smiling it clicked that you were joking. “Oh- yes…you’re kidding.” He smiled with you, “Please do come. It wouldn’t be the same without you.” Father Paul added earnestly.
You felt that tug in your chest just like when you had gone to the rectory to speak with him weeks ago.
You felt seen.
Appreciated.
“Well I…I’ll be there, Father. Rest.” You said, backing away, “Have a blessed night!”
John took a slow step toward you, but no more than that. He knew not to press his luck with your trust. Didn’t want to scare you off.
“And you, y/n.” He waved to you.
You turned and began your walk. But just as you had felt at home when Mass had begun, you felt a little empty as you walked away. You felt that tug grow more insistent the further you went; so much so that you turned before descending the hill to look back.
Father Hill was in discussion with Wade, but once you stood still, his head snapped to you.
You startled a little.
But it wasn’t so much the fact that he noticed you.
It was the strangest thing…you could have sworn you saw the light of the church catch his eyes and make them glint in the dark.
It happened so fast that you told yourself you just needed your day off. You were just tired.
You needed some sleep.
That was why you felt the contentment you had just been floating on start to drain away. That was why you felt so at ease when the Father spoke to you. Just tired.
You had no way of knowing then that it was the little bit of tainted blood in your system that was calling out to its patron. That it was humming around the others who shared the gift too…communicating internally with one another- somehow knowing that you’re like them.
By the time you were home, you felt as if the weight of the world was yours to uphold. Worry began to consume you as your thoughts swirled in the silence.
Riley was missing.
Joe was missing.
Pike was dead.
Bowl was missing.
You stopped brushing your hair for a moment. You hadn’t thought of the strange happenings like that before. Indeed there was quite a few. You had lived on Crockett your whole life you knew that the maximum a person could go missing for was a day and that was pushing it.
How long had Joe been missing…?
Your gut began to twist again, and you almost fell to your knees when you knelt to pray.
You didn’t know what was happening to you. To your home.
Fear began to encircle your heart, and you almost considered running back to the church to sleep on a pew.
You felt alone.
For the first time in a long time, you felt so very alone.
••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••
@littleredwritingcat @zaunite-leo @f4er1e-g1rl @purplemotif @vampyre-kin @professional-sinner @hamishlinklaters @spacechupss @pansexualpamandabear @ebiemidnightlibrarian @erialuna @nilla-bear
#midnight mass#hamish linklater#father paul hill#father john pruitt x reader#father john pruitt#forgive me father for i have sinned#father paul hill x reader#flanaverse#midnight mass fanfiction
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am so bloody distracted by your tumblr header... like sir please why do you have to look THAT good
anywayss thinking of "right person wrong time" with kyle and meeting him again in the future and him wanting to make things right this time. im down bad for second chance trope 😔✊🏻
his face is so distracting sometimes i just get distracted while staring at my header and forget why i even opened tumblr. you're so real for this anon, AND UGH RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME HURTS SO MUCH.
i can imagine you meeting him before he was promoted to being a sergeant. it was sweet, the love between you both undying, just growing more with each date and kiss you’d share with him. you two were inseparable, and no one had ever made you feel so special, so seen.
until he was promoted, the workload increased and it became hard for him to juggle between you and his work, to maintain a balance. maybe he really was the world’s biggest asshole for dropping you for his work in the first place, growing distant and going to the base everytime his captain would call him.
you had begun hating the name ‘captain price’. you hadn’t seen that man, and you sure as hell didn’t want to, ever.
the break up was messy, tears and desperation and the most annoying part was that he was somewhat calm, promising you that he still loved you — just can’t be with you. as if that’d make anything better. but you knew how important it was to him, resulting in you letting him go. his work was important, his effort. deep within your head, you had internalized that it was all your fault, that you had gotten in his way.
four years passed, both of you didn’t particularly talk ever again, nor saw each other — until he bumped into you during his break on a street, his words dying in his throat once he laid his eyes upon you. you still looked the same, the same person he had fallen in love with.
god knows how much he had mourned his decision, that’s what being young was all about anyways, being all stupid. he knew better now, knew that he still loved you. it was a weird, sickening feeling — this sudden wave of nostalgia, affection and guilt — especially when you looked at him with wide eyes, just as shocked.
“hey…” he trailed off, not knowing what to say. what could he even say at this point? but there was one thing he knew for sure — he’d spend as much time as possible apologizing to you, confessing his love over and over as if it were a prayer — because it is. a prayer, a confession. he’d do anything to have you back. anything. he knows his priorities now dove, he promises.
“wanna go grab some coffee?” he prayed that you’d agree, to let him be your one and only forever.
#in the end he's not perfect#but he still loves you so much#grovelling might take place#kyle i love you dearly#gaz x reader#kyle garrick x reader#kyle gaz garrick x reader#cod x reader#kyle garrick#mikawrites.★#mikainbox.★#gaz.♡
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Confessions Pt.i
♡ hobie brown x religious!reader
rating. m
word count. 4.4k
synopsis. after years of being missing, Hobie finally returns back to his hometown where his childhood crush still waits for him. but you're more dedicated to God than ever and he couldn't care less. he wants you and he intends show you all that you're missing out on
♡ °。 ⋆⸜ warning: religious themes, criticism of Christianity, corruption kink, defiling kink, making out, suggestive language, mentions of death
Part. ii
You've always been the model child, the child who attended mass when others wanted nothing more to do with the church, who clutched their rosary at night in fervent prayer and often slept with it under their pillow. You were used to pinched cheeks and smiles at your seniors, twisting your purity ring around your finger when you're nervous.
You had never known sin in your life. The idea of premarital sex revolted you. You prayed for forgiveness whenever you thought someone was even remotely cute.
That all changed when Hobie came back into your life. He had changed a lot since you last saw him when he was just an altar boy. He had left the church for years, his mother still attending and always asking for the father to pray for her son to return to God. He was now wild, feral even, decked out in spikes, something of a permanent scowl on his dark, beautiful lips. His hair demanded attention in the a way that distracted from God. Everything about him seemed to be for the flesh, not for the Lord.
There was a time where the two of you were friends. Your mothers were friends so it only made sense that you would be too. He has always been outgoing, loud, yet kind and pure at heart, holy even. He used to walk with humility and humbleness. It was like he was entirely different person who had walked into mass with his hands in his pockets and a confident saunter in his steps. He demanded attention and jangle if his chains echoed off the walls of your small church. You were always taught to remain quiet and keep your head low.
You quickly turned your gaze when his found yours among the many. Did he even recognize you? It's been so many years. You hardly even recognized him if not for some telltale signs. His height, the slender beauty of his face, a freckle. You clutched your rosary tighter, in your hands– it's milk white pearls wrapped around your hand, the detailed cross with Ch*st hanging pressing into your skin.
You don't look at him as he and his mother sat next to you and yours. He sidled up next to you, an arm tossed along the pew behind your back. He smelt of things you did not know, like sin, like temptation, like Hobie.
"How've ya been, luv?" He spoke after listening to mass and deciding it was too boring for him. It seemed he did remember you, in all your meek shyness.
"I've been fine. I'm surprised you remember me." You whispered, trying not to interrupt, not to get too wrapped up in conversation during church when you should be focusing on God's good grace.
"F'course, I remember ya, dove. Still the prettiest girl in here."
Your cheeks burned softly with the compliment and for it, you you clutched the cross in your hand until the edges of it dug into your skin as punishment. "We shouldn't be talking during the congregation." You crossed your ankles, your mary janes knocking against each other as you prayed a silent prayer of forgiveness. You would not be tempted.
If it helped, Hobie thought you changed a lot as well. When did you get breasts that so obviously showed through your clothing? When did you get so pretty? When had you grown into a woman?
You allowed yourself light makeup, mascara, lip oils that made your lips all glossy and pouty. Your braided hair way pinned back out of your pretty face, caramel and black in color, tied back with a pink bow. You wore a white off the shoulder top and a pink skirt with lace trim at the bottom. White, see-through stockings clung to those chaste legs of yours and your feet were adorned with mary janes, decorated in more pink bows.
He had originally only come to mass to please his mother this one time but if you looked this pretty now, it might not hurt to come again.
After, your mothers were chatting with each other, his mother pinching your rosette cheeks as she always did, talking about how much of a good girl you were, how Hobie was already talking about when the next congregation would be all because of you. "You're leading him back to God, my love."
"Where is he? He never even said goodbye." Your mother looked around for him but he was gone, dipped the moment church was over. He'd be back, he said but you doubted it. His mother waved it off. "You know how the young ones are these days, they don't care much for mannerisms." She looked back to you, shyly standing behind your mother without much else to do besides go home. You were still young, only bordering on 20 and you still lived at home. You couldn't bear to leave your old, peeling, floral wallpaper and your collection of stuffies. Plus, working for a Chr*stian nonprofit didn't always pay the bills.
You wouldn't see Hobie again for another 4 of your congregations before he decided to show back up. He had scandalized the church by wearing a crop top, was the talk of the town when he slid into the pew next to you and tossed his arm behind you once again like you two were close. His body was pressed against yours, his warm skin against your shoulders neck, the smell of musky cologne, the deviating gorgeousness of his face. His finger curled around one of your neat box braids, curled and uncurled, curled and uncurled.
You were wearing a pink camisole shirt with more lace at the top and bottom, and a white maxi skirt with little roses dotting the fabric. You wished you had worn something that revealed less of your skin because you should feel his skin on yours and it made you feel hotter than the sun and more of a sinner than the devil himself because his skin felt so nice and soft against yours and you wanted him to stay right there he was, with his knee touching yours and his fingers playing with your hair. How scant a knee touch could be.
"Who's it goin' t'day, doll?" Hobie leaned over and whispered in your ear. You leaned away from him, muttering silent prayers asking for strength in such rough times. "I'm okay, Hobie… How are you today?" You managed to get out.
"'m quiet chipper actually, my mum jus' asked ya mum if we could hang out again, thinks ya good f'me. Will make me 'believe in God again', 'n allat."
How great, how perfect. Now you'd constantly be in his presence. You'd be happy to spend time with Hobie but this Hobie was not the Hobie you knew. He was a stranger to you. It’s been so many years since he simply ran from home and only recently has he decided to come back into his family’s lives for unknown reasons. You were nervous around new people and in all ways that mattered, Hobie was a new person.
“Well, do you want to believe in God?”
“No’ particularly, no. But I promised mum since I ran away.” He was only 16 when he left, now he’s back at 21 and his mother almost smacked him straight across the face when he showed back up on her door. All these years, everyone in the community operated under the assumption that he had died.
Before the parish began his sermon in which he’d get progressively sweatier and out of breath across the 2 hours which Hobie always used to snicker at, he spoke. “I’d like to welcome back Hobart. After being gone for 5 years, he’s finally returned back home.” Everyone clapped for him, including you, but he just let his hand drop and began drawing circles on your exposed shoulder.
He kept like this through the entire sermon, touching you in some way, shape, or form. He chuckled softly at some of the things the parish said and whispered to you about things completely unrelated. “Le’s go back to our usual spot, doll. You remember?” His warm breath fanned your ear with the promise of something wrong if you go with him. You turned to look at him and found his face far closer than you thought it was, a smirk playing on his pierced lips.
“Would you genuinely listen to what I have to say.”
“I’ll listen to whateva comes from those pretty lips of yas, dove. Every single word.” He was so much more flirtatious now. He had you clutching your rosary every time he was around you, an action that did not go unnoticed. He placed his freehand on top of the ball of yours and your hands fell open beneath his warm palm. You already had scars littering your palms from all your years of grabbing the cross too tight for protection.
“Stop doin’ tha’, you gonna hurt yaself.”
That was the last thing he said to you all sermon.
He stuck around after church this time, his mother with a firm grasp on his wrist to ensure he didn’t go off and disappear again. You hung around your parents, your eyes always wandering about to find Hobie. It was hard not to find him. His height and his hair made it impossible to miss him.
“Mama, Hobie and I are gonna go somewhere quieter. I’ll be back home in time for dinner.” You kissed her cheek and tapped your father’s hand to get his attention before motioning that you were going to go. He was in the middle of deep conversion with the parish. He nodded dismissively and with that, you made your way to Hobie.
“Ms. Brown. Is it okay if I take Hobie with me?” Her grip on her son’s wrist was deadly, out of fear that he may run away from her again. She wouldn’t be letting him go unless she was sure he was in good hands, and in her eyes, yours were holy. “Of course.” She smiled upon you with fondness, her accent of her homeland thick in her voice. “Hobie, be good.”
Hobie shrugged out of her hold. “Yeah, I hear ya.” He tossed an arm around you and dragged you off towards the spot where the two of you would always hang out as children, an old playset that was rusting over by now and couldn’t possibly be safe enough for children to play on. It was a little down the way from the church just in front of a stretch of woods that separated the playground from the creek.
You went to cautiously sit on one of the rusty swings while Hobie dropped himself down without a care. He looked at you, your moisturized skin glistening in gold under the sun. You tossed your hair over your shoulder to better feel the sun on your shoulders while it lasted. The winters in your hometown were brutal at times so any heat was much welcomed on your end.
“Go ‘head then, gimme all the reasons why I should want salvation.” He’s heard it all. Especially from his mother. He had come back an entirely different person and point blank told her that he didn’t believe in a higher power and wouldn’t be attending church while he was visiting. His poor, Jamaican mother, a devout Catholic, acted as if he had just struck her across the face. She cried, she prayed as she does every night to this very day, and she rebuked the devil "who had taken her son" from him.
She had managed to manipulate him into coming to church at least once. And then he saw you. His old best friend, his longest standing crush, and decided that he’d stick around a little longer.
You fiddled with your rosary. "Well, there's nothing I can say to change your mind if you already aren't open to the idea. I'm not here to convince you of anything. But Hobie– why did you leave? We were all worried sick over you, praying that you were safe. After the first year, we thought you…"
“Died? No, I toughed it ou’. “N I didn’t exactly go anywhere. I’d been to so many places that I couldn’t name jus’ one. I jus’ knew I didn’ wanna be here.” He shrugged and drug his boot in the gravel, the rusty sound of the swingset let out a creak every time he swung. “‘M tired talkin’ ‘bout me. How’ve you been, luv?” His voice grew tender when talking to you, his eyes were a touch softer as well, almost flirtatiously so.
Nervously, you spoke of all the things that have happened since he left. “Father has blessed me with a good life. I’ve been studying His word more and I feel closer than ever to Him–”
Hobie pretended to yawn before snickering to himself. “I don’ wanna hear about allat. I wanna hear ‘bout you, not tha’ bloke.” You gasped at his choice of words, the casual blasphemy from his lips, and held your rosary to your chest. “Hobie!” you scolded him and he raised his hands in surrender. “My fault, luv. I forgot you were still brainwashed.” He murmured the last part under his breath. “Tell me ‘bout you. Tha’s all I wanna know ‘bout.”
You didn’t know what to say. Usually talk about how good God is suffices for people. No one ever really wanted to hear about you, they usually wanted you meek and quiet, submissive and innocent in your ways.
“I attended a purity ball soon after you left.” You raised your hand to show off the ring that adorned your finger as a symbol of your purity. “I thought it was the right thing to do. Everyone thought that we would get married when we got older so when you disappeared, I needed to wait for the right man to come along.” You didn’t sound as excited as everyone else around you was. Your mother was happy to dress you up in a white dress and your father was even happier to take your hand and claim you as his until a Godly man came around to take your hand in marriage. But it all just felt weird to you.
“I always though’ those things were fucked.” Hobie admitted. “Gettin’ married to ya dad so he owns you until another man comes around to take ya leash.”
“It’s not like that.”
“How’s it like then?” Hobie raised a pierced brow at you, waiting for a witty response only for you to fall flat. You shift your gaze from his. “It was my choice. I was distraught that you were gone, Hobie.” You twisted your ring around finger anxiously. “My whole life everyone told me that we were going to get married and suddenly you up and left and my life was spiralling.” You babbled, tears swelling in your eyes, overwhelmed by it all, overwhelmed by him so suddenly showing back up in your life with all these questions and opinions.
“You don’ think ya gonna marry me anymore?” Hobie reached out and traced a finger down the scant of your arm. You whipped away from him and wiped the tears before they could fall, looking back to him with hardness in that soft gaze of yours. It was hard to take you seriously with eyes like those and the pout in your lips. “That’s not something to joke about.” You ripped yourself away from him because if you didn’t, you would have shivered under his touch.
“Who said I was jokin’? Remember when would kiss back here after church. You were a little rebel back then.” He pointed to the treeline where the two of you would sit in the grass and innocently peck each other's lips, justifying it by saything the two of you would eventually get married anyway. It was innocent at the time but your face lit up, your cheeks burning with humiliation at the memory. You placed your hands over your face and shook your head. “We were children at the time. We didn’t know any better.”
“Why don’t we do that now?
“Hobie!” You reached over and slapped his arm. A smile stretched across his lips, a smile you always admired. It sparkled with a touch of mischievousness. “What is wrong with you!”
He got up off the swing. “The bible doesn’ say nothin’ ‘bout kissin’. Plus, we’re married anyway, by law of children’s imagination. Tha’s gotta count f’somethin’.” He began walking through the gravel and onto the grass towards the spot where the two of you would sit and kiss. He looked back at you, his expression asking if you would come with him.
You looked uneasily down at your hands with your rosary and your purity ring. He was right. The bible didn’t say anything against kissing before marriage and you’d be a liar if you said you weren’t attracted to Hobie, with his sly smirks and teasing remarks. You stood slowly and made your way over to where Hobie sat, teasing you with an alluring smile and a hooded gaze.
You sat beside him, a great distance away with your rosary and your bible you brought along. You were so nervous you were shaking and Hobie was not blind. “I’m not tryna pressure you into nothin’, dove. It was all jus’ fun ‘n games.”
"I just wanna stay pure, Hobie. I wanna be untouched for my husband. I wanna be a good wife." You couldn't bear the idea of being tainted, of being impure. You shook with the fear of it, tossed and turned in the dead of night worrying over it, twisting and turning your ring around your finger.
You fell back in the grass, Hobie's figure leaning over you as you look at the sunlight streaming through the leaves of the trees looking overhead. You sighed with anxiety, grabbing fistfuls of grass in your hands.
Hobie scoffed at the notion. "You think being a good wife means you have to be a virgin?" You looked at him as if it were obvious. "Of course. I'm supposed to be pure and submissive for my husband. That's how I make it into Heaven."
There was something unreadable on on Hobie's face, an expression that bordered on anger and treaded on distaste. "Luv, you have no idea how…" he trailed off. Brainwashed you are. But he didn't finish. You were right. If someone wasn't open to the idea, they'd never hear you. He had to get the idea across to you in a way you'd understand.
"There are ways to find Heaven on Earth." He told you, laying down in the grass beside you. He lied on his side to face you, a warm hand tracing the round of your jaw with his fingertips to make you look at him. "I'll show you if you let me." His lips hovered over yours and for the first tips you did not retreat from him. Your mind screamed passage after passage at you but your body melted into his warmth and you relented when he pressed his lips to yours.
You were just so innocent. It would be so easy to show you a world of pleasure you never knew existed. You didn't even know how to kiss. You let him take the lead, let him press his tongue to the seam of your lips and nervously parted them to let him intrude upon your sacred body. This was sacrilege, the way his tongue found yours, something far beyond an innocent kiss. His tongue coaxed yours to move like his, gently and with fervor. His tongue piercing pressed against the chaste muscle of your tongue, untouched before in a way like this.
It was messy and uncoordinated, lips, teeth, and tongue all touched and caressed each other, teeth biting lips, tongues soothing the aftermath. Hobie chuckled into your mouth suddenly turning from timid to desperately seeking him out and suckling on his lip piercing, then his tongue, wanting him so desperately.
You moaned softly, a hot feeling growing between your legs that scared you. Did he know, could he feel it, the way you rubbed your thighs together? Was this sin? This feeling of warm wetness growing so steadily between your thighs?
Hobie brought his hand beneath your maxi skirt, his warm against your bare, unsullied thigh. He kept it there, his fingers gripping your flesh, thumb rubbing circles against your pink panties. He must be able to feel it, this feeling you had no name for but felt so good each time you pressed your thighs together.
This had to be wrong, a pleasure of the body, something Earthy, something that would plant you right in Hell. But if it felt this good…
Hobie was the one who first broke from the kiss, leaving you whimpering wantonly, your lips seeking out his until you realized just what you were doing. He was laughing at you and suddenly you felt exposed and embarrassed, biting your kiss-swollen lips. "'M sorry, dove. I ain' mean t' laugh. I just ain' expect you to get so into it." He reached up and pushed your braids out of your face and tucked them behind your ear.
You couldn't bear to look him in the eyes. "I just…I've never felt that way before." It was almost embarrassing to admit.
Hobie frowned a bit. "No' even when you touch yaself?" He's always been a bit forward with his questions but this one has to take the cake. You rolled away from him, so humiliated by his questions that you physically couldn't touch him with such an idea in your head.
"You've neva touched yaself?"
You shook your head. You never knew you could for one, your parents never allowed you to take health class in highschool, the idea of you touching yourself in recent years only made you resent yourself for conceiving such an idea and you had immediately went to the father about it to confess your sins.
Hobie was silent for a moment, thinking about something, you had no idea what, not until he spoke again. "You should come back to my place at the end of the week."
"I can't possibly. I mean– it's not right for two people at our age to be alone in one's house. It's a breeding ground for sin." You sat up with grass in your hair, tugging down your skirt that Hobie had lifted. "We can't, Hobie. It would be ungodly." As if what happened here wasn't just the same. The imprint of your bodies were still imprinted in the grass, pressed against each other, intimate in a way neither of you should have been.
Hobie got up after you and grabbed your wrist. You shuddered at his touch, the hot ache between your thighs making your legs feel weak or maybe it was just him. His lips were less swollen than yours but your gloss was smudged all across them, making you realize that if you went out as you were, you'd look like nothing more than a harlot. You'd have to take time to fix your makeup which was already light to begin with. Too much makeup would make you out to be a common whore too.
"Just think 'bout it, will ya? Jus' f'me, doll." He was so good at persuasion, those eyes of his could turn from predatory to soft and pleading so fast. You wonder how many people he's used it on, from his parents to innocent girls just like you he meant to completely tear apart and defile.
You've always been weak to him, even just a little. You recognized your Hobie in there, despite the clothes and the hair and the confidence. It's not that he's changed, just that he's found himself out there in the world wherever he's been.
"Fine… I'll think about it. But that's no guarantee that I'll go." Your voice wavered in confidence as he approached and took your chin between his finger and thumb and tilted your head upward. He looked between your eyes then down at your lips before bending down to kiss you once more.
You didn't resist him, not one bit. His tongue teased entrance to your mouth but never fully went there. His lips melded against yours, smooth as butter, so lightly you almost thought he wasn't there. His large hands found purchase on your waist, pulling you in close. You were still so awkward about it, you didn't know if you should do more. Kissing like this felt like sex, like sin, like something you shouldn't be doing. But he made it feel so good, made your guilt melt away against his lips.
You told yourself that there was no scripture that frowned upon kissing, that you weren't doing anything wrong. You had nothing to be ashamed of yet but you felt that Hobie had ways to make you do something wrong and make you not even realize it before it was already done.
"Y/n? Y/n, where are you?" You could hear your father calling you and immediately you placed your hands against Hobie in a panic and shoved him away from you, backing away yourself to put as much distance between the two of you as possible.
Hobie smiled at you and used his thumb to clean up your smeared lipgloss. "Jus' think 'bout it, luv. If you come, I'll show ya what real Heaven feels like." You pulled away from him, from his tender touch against your face, holding your rosary-wrapped Bible to your chest. You felt if you didn't, he'd be able to see right through you, see the way your heart raced and leaped. Maybe he’d see how weak you were for him, how you were always willing to go along with his antics as children and now that you finally had him back, you’d do almost anything he asked of you.
“You should really stop saying things like that.” You murmured, marching past him to return to your parents before they find the two of you in another compromising position. Hobie watched your retreating figure, your hips unintentionally swaying with each step.
Fuck all these people brainwashing you, telling you these stories to scare you into compliance, denying you your own pleasure. The only reason he came back to this damned place was for you. He couldn’t care less about anyone else here. He’d take you, defile you, show you the pleasures of the flesh, show you the gates of Heaven right here on Earth in his bed.
His sweet, innocent, little thing. He’d have to show you all you were missing out on.
#across the spiderverse#atsv#spiderman atsv#spiderman#hobie brown#spider punk#hobie brown fic#hobie brown smut#hobie brown x reader#hobie x reader#hobie brown x black!reader#hobie brown x religious!reader
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Listen I know the wall husbands heads are full of concrete but I'm interested in what you could do with a black templar
Maybe having a cleric darling (Thinking more of a lay person vs someone like a sister of battle) so there can be some delicious religious subtext
But I also know some black templars are very much into seeing when normal baseline humans can overcome the odds and rise above with their own zeal.
Maybe she isn't a combatant but by the God Emperor she will help out however she can even if it is just passing him boltgun magazines.
I got ideas for Black Templars but they're all over the place! Maybe you can make more sense of my ramblings and since it's still on the brain it could be Yandere or not just however you can make a Black Templar with a Darling work
[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]
Author's Note: So... I went apeshit. I apologize. I just fucking love doing religious subtext and whatnot. Also the frail maiden with her knight. Combining them? Awooga. Like this is my dream prompt. I hope you enjoy.
Summary: His thumb presses against your lips, and your mouth opens. You can taste the metal on your tongue, like bitter iron. His hand despite being so inhumanly large is so dextrious and gentle, and the thoughts that enter your mind are sickening.
Relationships: Unnamed Black Templar/Fem!Reader (there aren't pronouns used but the lady/knight vibe is super intense)
Warnings: A smidge lewd but not NSFW, Vague traditional gender roles-like talk (being gentle/needing to be protected etc), Religious under(over)tones, Forbidden romance undertones, Vague yandere/yandere beginnings, Armor kink if you squint, Brief mentions of blood and murder, General 40kness
Word Count: 2209 oops uwu
Ceramite boots thud against the floor like the thunder overhead, echoing in the high, vaulted ceilings.
He hears a tile crack underneath his right boot as he shifts his weight onto it mid-step.
He was always heavier than his brothers. His armor had to be adjusted three different times to fit him as he outgrew it.
'Leave him, he’s off to go for his prayers, and to stalk the locals.’
His one battle brother had laughed at the other’s comment, as he left them all behind to return to the cathedral. It's far from his first time here, in these sanctified halls. He finds himself returning here after almost every patrol, every outing, every moment alone.
His armor shifts with his movement, and he rolls his left shoulder during his walk. He’s had the armor fixed after a stray round hit him in the shoulder, but it still feels off. Like the motion is ever so slightly delayed in comparison to his other interface ports.
He'll get it looked at again. For now he has a different pursuit.
It’s the dead of the night, moon high in the sky as he walks through the nave past pews filled with nothing but air. At this time of night he knows it will only be you here, keeping candles lit and rolling scrolls. A stray servoskull might flutter past every now and again, but other than that, you remain in complete solitude.
No distractions, no needless fluff. You're always busy, fluttering about, making yourself useful where you can. You aren't able to fight, not this threat, but your obedience in cleaning armor- weapons when an Astartes allows- and other such duties has earned you enough to stay where your fellows have left.
Many of the other human refugees have been shipped off at this point, to become the Militarium's logistical problem. You and a few others however have earned your keep. At least in the eyes of the Black Templars.
You'll be far safer here than in a Militarium camp stuffed in with hundreds to thousands of others; Like animals waiting to be shipped off world.
You'll be far safer here with him.
There you are. He can spot you from across the cathedral, and a part of him wonders why it has such an effect on him. His hearts beat faster and his neck tenses; It feels like how he does whenever he's about to fight, but also distinctly different. It almost makes him feel like he's sick from an illness he can't explain.
The moment you hear him however, knowing the sound of an astartes this late and this far away from his brothers could only be him, your back straightens. You've been leaning over for awhile, and your body makes uncooperative cracks as you stand at his approach.
He stops in front of you, at the bottom of the ambulatory steps that rise up to the main altar. You stand at the top of them, quickly moving aside so he can come closer. When he does, you can feel his gaze through the lens of his helmet. It always feels heavy, even when his helmet isn't tilted you way you swear you can feel whenever his eyes are on you.
With both hands he unseals his helmet with a soft hiss, grasping it by the rim before handing it to you. It’s almost too heavy for your grip, but you manage to hold it close to your chest and avoid dropping it. Meanwhile he takes a knee, elbow on his knee as he drops his head in prayer.
His chainsword shifts on his back, over top of a long, tattered cape that's stained with mud and blood at the bottom hem. Astartes don't leave their armor during war, and so the cloth holds the weeks long stench of iron and rotting flesh. It simply burns however, until a few minutes later and then you can no longer smell. For the best, more than likely.
The cathedral is cast in complete silence, his shoulders shifting underneath plates of ceramite. He always is whenever he prays, unlike his brothers in the few times you've seen them. Perhaps it's just a quirk of his. Or maybe they're the odd ones.
Then again, they aren't the ones visiting an empty cathedral in the dead of night, only to meet a single person. Over and over again.
When he rises, he gently takes his helmet from your hands and latches it onto his belt. You speak up for the first time since he appeared.
"Have you made good progress out there? The weather seems to only be getting worse."
He looks down at you; His short, hastily chopped hair dry and pressed in odd places from the pressure of his helmet. It's mostly dry now, but you can tell it was wet not long ago. He must've taken his helmet off in the rain and was instantly soaked to the bone.
"The Emperor watches over us. We will prevail despite the deluge."
Said deluge batters on the tall glass windows of the cathedral, and thunder cracks not much later. The sound gives you a momentary jolt. This particular storm has been going all day, but the area has been battered with rainstorms for weeks now on and off. It might not slow them down, but you can see dried chunks of mud where they've had to trudge through it to progress. Most of it is washed away on him now, the rain having cleaned his armor significantly.
Your hands grasp each other tightly, no longer having his helmet to act as some sort of grounding.
"I tried to pray like you do, this morning." His eyes noticeably brighten ever the slightest, as your voice echos in the empty cathedral. "I wanted to pray to the Emperor that you stayed safe out there."
You don't know if he finds it amusing; But the corner of his mouth quirks upward ever so slightly anyways.
"Then pray for our victory, not our safety. What matters is that we succeed," He states.
You hear the mechanics in his armor shift as he leans slightly more on his left leg than right. It's like the armor is simply an extension of himself, and you suppose it is.
He is the first astartes you've even seen, so your knowledge is sparse. A small part of you has so many questions you'd wish to ask him, not knowing if he'd even entertain you with an answer.
You're fascinated by him; You wonder if he thinks the same of you. The way he acts lends you to think so, but you don't know how to feel about it.
In the corner of your eye you notice movement, and turn to the right just a bit and see someone walking across the nave. But when they catch sight of you and one of the Black Templars, the scurry out of the main hall like death was on their heels.
It isn't the first time someone has made a conscious effort to avoid you, now that you have an astartes taking such an interest in you. People are keen to spend as little time around them as possible- as despite them being the primary source protecting you all, they have more than displayed their fickle nature. One misspoken word and you could be gone. It's happened before. You know of a few faces that have disappeared with little a word.
You must look away from him for too long, as suddenly his armored hand grasps your jaw, turning your face back to him. The awkward angle due to his height makes your neck ache, and you grasp at the seams of his gauntlet for any sort of support.
"Are you going to try and run like they did?"
He says, watching you like he's looking for something more than a simple answer.
You wonder what he sees. If he notices the way your heart has begun to race in fear and something else, as he overtakes your vision. That something else was only for those rare moments of solitude where your reasoning left you, and your mind wandered to areas it shouldn't. If you'd known any better, you might've thought such things were blasphemous, or something of the sort.
Suddenly, you remember that he's waiting for an answer; You watch as the scars on his face move when he shifts his jaw.
"No."
He takes a step closer and with no more room your back presses against the altar just behind you. You risk nearly bending over it from how close he is, his dominant leg taking root just close enough that your legs have to part to let his knee past.
The shadow of the window mullions decorate the back of his armor, the light making the shadows against his face even harsher. You can even see the shadows of large rain droplets against his pauldrons, sliding down as if they've actually fallen on him. You can hear them hit the glass as the wind whistles outside and rattles the glass.
You watch him wondering; His eyes and face are completely unreadable. Astartes are so stoic, any little emotion is held invisible deep within themselves. Trying to figure out what he's thinking is an impossible task, though it's clear the interest he has in you is no longer just curiosity. That thought makes your heart pound against your chest as if it's trying to escape, your blood hot.
His thumb presses against your lips, and your mouth opens. You can taste the metal on your tongue, like bitter iron. His hand despite being so inhumanly large is so dextrious and gentle, and the thoughts that enter your mind are sickening.
It feels like he's toying with you; Experimenting with something new as he watches the way your soft skin gives under his armor. Your hands and gentle skin have faint crumbles of candle wax and ink on them from your work, as they grasp his armor.
You're terrified. You want more of him. You'll be happy to burn if that's what it requires.
"You'll come with me, when we are finished here."
You whisper his name, telling him yes as if you were foolish enough to think you had a choice in the matter. No one but him is here to hear it.
If someone was you wouldn't be able to see them from the way his massive armored form overtakes almost all of your vision, swallowing you in a sea of shadow and pitch black armor. They would see as he leans down, his thumb leaving your lips. You can feel his hot breath on your skin. The way he almost seems to suffocate you with how much of his body looms over you, just to get close. You can hear your own heartbeat so you just know he can, his eyes dilated and nearly total black.
Your back hurts pressing against the edge of the altar, feeling vulnerable underneath his unreadable stare. The fabric of your clothing bunches in places and rises up on your body, catching on the seams of his leg plates. His armor might be cold, but astartes run hot; Like their blood is boiling, so beneath that metal chill is the heat from the skin visible on his face and neck. You think if the cathedral was any colder, his hot breath would be visible.
His lips hover over yours, brushing as if he's so thoroughly detailing every step of this. Savoring each moment, or perhaps just toying with you. Watching the way a human so much smaller than him writhes under his grip at his mercy. You want to finish it, but the hand clamped around your jaw won't allow you, as much as you want to yearn and beg and plead to k-
'Brother. Return from toying with the refugees, the chaplain has returned with an update.'
Suddenly audible is a deep voice shaken by vox distortion emanating from his helmet; His head turns ever so slightly in it's direction. The bow of his upper lip brushes over yours as he does so. His brow furrows and he seems visibly irritated, interrupted during the worst possible time. You are as well, though it's more of desperation as you try to silence the way the your body aches for just him.
But as quick as it had begun it all ends, as he rises to his full height and removes his hand from your jaw. It complains with the promise of a hefty bruising, as he uses the same gauntlet to one handed slip his helmet back onto his head.
You can feel him stare at you even through the lenses, as he shifts in his armor and walks past where you stand splayed against the altar, clothes a mess. Your legs wobble as if about to give out from underneath you without his support, a weight like a rock in your lower belly.
He walks down the ambulatory in silence and leaves you alone once more, but you know it won't be for long.
#if you want me to name him and design him feel free to say! but for now you can make him the astartes ken doll of your dreams#warhammer 40k x reader#space marine x reader#black templar x reader#reader insert#reader#mywriting
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Crashing On Crush. JJK 3 [m]
crush!Jungkook x reader
Genre: smut; series; romance; angst
Words: 4.4k
Synopsis: What happens when your first encounter with your crush is Jungkook seeing your ass?
Warnings: sexual tension; alcohol consumption; make out in public; oral sex (f. receiving); handjob
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God must have heard your silenced prayers because a cup of coffee is floating in front of your face. You look up and meet Namjoon's soft brown eyes. You take the life-saving beverage and appreciate the delicious taste.
"Oh God, you don't know how much I needed it! Thank you Namjoon"
"No offense but you did look like you needed it" he jokes
You sigh, knowing that he's probably right. It's been eight days since you and Jungkook kissed. Eight fucking days and you haven't heard from him. No text, no call. Nothing. If work - which is so interesting and gratifying - keeps your mind busy at day, alone in your apartment at night you have no distraction. You just think over and over again, replaying the night in your head to spot what you've missed and could explain why he hasn't contacted you. So, yeah, you haven't slept very well the past week.
"Uhm, Y/N" Namjoon seems embarrassed, he clears his throat to pull himself together. "I was thinking, uhm, if you are free tonight, we could have dinner"
His red cheeks are so cute, your heart melts. Namjoon has been nothing but kind and sweet towards you. And it's not the first time you think 'I wish he were my crush, so I wouldn't be stressed about radio-silence Jungkook'. But you know damn well that your mind and your heart are full of a man with lip piercing and tattooed arm... However, you can't wait forever for Jungkook to pay attention to you - or can you?
This dinner will be a great opportunity to think about something else and to get to know Namjoon better.
"Sure!"
The blond man sighs in relief, his heart pounding in his chest.
"Great, uhm, let's meet after your shift at the entrance door"
You nod and watch him leave, not without almost hitting a large plant pot which makes you laugh. Cute.
At seven pm, you exit the gallery to wait for Namjoon in front of the building. However, you certainly didn't think you would meet this person. You halt your movement by astonishment. Jungkook is here. Right in front of you. And you have mixed feelings about that. Obviously, you are very happy to see him because, in fact, you missed him. But you are also angry with him for being quiet during a whole week... You have no idea what he is doing here. Well, you know he is probably here to talk to you but to say what? That he doesn't want to see you again? That he wants to kiss you again? So you stay silent, waiting for him to speak. And he does:
"Hi, Y/N"
"Hi"
You wait but he doesn't say anything.
"What are you doing here?" You ask after few seconds of unbearable stillness that is the exact opposite of your harsh heartbeats.
"I wanted to invite you to dinner"
What the fuck? You can't help a disdained laugh. You have been waiting eight fucking days and he just shows up at your work like nothing happened! You are so mad right now but why does you heart soften at the thought he wants to spend some time with you?
"I already have something set up for tonight" Your voice is harsher than you want and you kind of feel bad when you see the disappointment in Jungkook's eyes.
He bits his bottom lip and this simple act reminds you of how good his lips feels... You shake your head to not think about it.
"I wanted to call you but I didn't have time" Jungkook says lowly
"Yeah, sure" You reply, annoyed
"Actually, I spent the week at my parents for my grandpa's funeral" His voice is not filled with reproach but with a will of explanation.
You gaps and immediately feel horrible to have treated him so coldly. Your eyes soften and you put a hand on his shoulder to confort him.
"Oh my god, I'm so sorry Jungkook, I didn't know. Are you okay?"
"He has been sick for a while so we were prepared, but it was hard for my mum. I'm sorry, I should have at least sent you a text"
You can see in his doe eyes and hear in his voice the guilt. You shake your head.
"No, you don't have to apologize, I totally understand. You needed to focus on your family. Please don't feel bad"
You want to hug him so bad when you see the sadness on his face. You don't really know what to say or what to do to erase his pain but when Jungkook looks into your eyes, he knows how you wish to console him and his heavy heart feels lighter. So many words are running through his mind, so many things he would like to say to you. Like the fact that he has been thinking about you the past few days, that he has wished you were there with him to hug him, that he has been fucking missing you each fucking minute.
You open your mouth to say something but you are cut off by Namjoon joining you.
"Are you ready to go?" He asks you cheerfully
You are aware of the sudden tension between the two men. Jungkook's jaw clenches and his eyes narrow. 'Him again', he thinks. He wonders if the guy is now your boyfriend, if he has kissed you while he was gone, which makes him regret even more to not have contacted you. Now he is pissed off because at first, he thought that you having plans was a lie to not see him but it's way worse that you actually have plans. With another man. A man you have seen all week.
"I-Namjoon and I are going to eat" you start, embarrassed, blushing hard before turning towards your colleague "if it's okay with you, Jungkook could join us?" You try
Well, that was not what Namjoon had in mind. But what could he say now? No? He cannot refuse so he swallows the sword in his throat and he answers a not-so-conceiving 'sure'. And the three of you head to the Korean barbecue restaurant.
———
Saying that there is tension in the air is an understatement. The meat grilling is quite the only sound coming from your table. Seeing the two men side by side, you realize they couldn't be more different. Namjoon, wearing a white shirt and light grey slacks, is a very sweet boy, and very cute with his dimples. His glasses makes him look smarter - even though he is the smartest person you've ever met - and professional. Definitely the type every parents would love to have as son-in-law. On the other hand, Jungkook is the opposite, the perfect example of what a 'bad boy look' is. He is not a bad boy in fact because you can see the kindness in his so pretty eyes but he is surely intimidating. He always wears dark and baggy cloths. His piercing and his tattoos enhance his B boy vibes, but they also make him so fucking hot.
Jungkook and Namjoon haven't talked and you feel ill at ease, waddling on your seat. You clear your throat to save the night:
"Let's cheer"
You smile and pull up your glass in the most cheerful way possible, hoping that it will give rise to a better mood. But it doesn't. The two men click their glass but they still don't speak. You sigh in disappointment...
"So, Jungkook, right?" Finally says Namjoon "What do you do for living?"
You send a grateful gaze at your colleague.
"I'm a graphic designer" Jungkook answers politely but a little bit coldly, not sharing any more details. "What about you? What do you do exactly?"
"I'm the owner's assistant. I help him to supervise everything: the exhibitions, the contacts with the artists, the communication, the staff. I'm also in charge of training new recruits, that's why I've spent a lot of time with Y/N these days"
Jungkook grins, he knows damn well that this Namjoon guy wanted to snap at him. He sips on his beer, fantasying how satisfying it would be to kiss you again, like the last time, in front of Namjoon. He really has to behave to not put his hand on your thigh. It's even harder when you are so pretty in your pink a-line dress with small puff sleeves.
"Hey, Y/N, we could have a last drink at Danbam, what do you think?" Jungkook asks suddenly
You choke on your spit, blushing hard. Last time you were in this bar was for your make-out session with Jungkook. And the little sparkle of cockiness in his eyes proves you he meant to tease.
"I, uhm, I don't think I want to drink more than this tonight" you say cautiously
Namjoon grabs his chopsticks to gather some beef and puts it on your plate. The kind gesture makes you smile. At the same time, it makes Jungkook even more irritated. Yet, luck is on his side because a couple of minutes later, Namjoon receives a call: his boss requires him immediately. He wanted to spend time with you, get to know you because since your first day, he has found you so sweet and beautiful and smart and passionate. Since your first day, he has had a crush on you that only kept growing day by day. With a huge regret, he tells you goodbye and leaves you with Jungkook.
"So, do you go out with him a lot?"
Jungkook couldn't help but asking you. He feels so jealous, he doesn't even recognize himself. What are you doing to him?
"No, actually it was the first time"
"Good"
You turn your head to Jungkook with an abrupt movement. Your mouth is opened by surprise, questioning him silently about the meaning.
"I want to kiss you again" Jungkook says simply
His words provoke a whole ardent fire in your body. You want it too. So fucking much. You miss his lips, his hands on you. You miss feeling him on your skin - kissing him one time isn't enough. You want to do it again. You want more.
"Do it" you manage to whisper
It's enough for Jungkook to blend your lips together. The kiss is stronger, rawer than the last one. He is hungry and maybe a little angry. When the little moans he loves so much return to life, he smirks. He wants to kiss you like Namjoon nor any other men can. And he does. There is no word to describe how much you love his mouth. You wish the moment could last forever, you never want to be lips apart. But humans are not perfect and they do need to breath so you distance your face just enough to catch your breathe.
"Do you want me to take you home?" Jungkook asks
You know it's not just a ride home. It's an implicit question: do you want more? Fuck yeah.
You nod and Jungkook smiles. He looks happy and relieved. He leaves a soft kiss on your inflamed lips and grabs your hand.
———
You mostly stay silent in the car. It's not a weird or uncomfortable silence but just a calm silence, full of promise for what will happen next. You can't deny that your heart beats loudly and your hands are a little shaky. Jungkook remarks and intertwines yours fingers, saying with no words that everything is fine and you don't have to be stressed. But how can you not when you will spend the night with your crush? Your - two now - kisses proved you that you have feelings for him. Strong feelings.
After you opened your door and took off your shoes, Jungkook and you stay, once again, in silence. You are looking everywhere except at him, feeling so nervous. It has been more than one year since you last had sex, and all the times you had before were with your boyfriends. However, Jungkook is not your boyfriend, your relationship is... undetermined. You also wonder if he finds you attractive enough, and if you will be good enough in bed. All these thoughts make your hands sweaty.
But Jungkook gets closer and cups your red cheeks with his big and warm hands, making you look into his black doe eyes. They are so soft, so shiny - just like the billions of stars in the sky at night. They are so beautiful. Everything in Jungkook is beautiful.
"Hey, we don't have to do anything" he says gently "We can have sex, or not. We can do other things than having sex. Or we can just talk. Don't pressure yourself"
Your heart melts at his consideration. He is so nice, so sweet that you are falling in lo... No! No, it's too soon, you don't know much about him even after hours spent on his Instagram. It's just your arousal speaking, it messes up with your brain.
You take the time to look at Jungkook and you can't help but imagining what's underneath his black bomber jacket. You remember this one pic from Instagram of him at the beach, shirtless. His 'I know I make your panties wet' look has never been more accurate. Even right now, you are feeling horny.
He leans down and kisses you. At first, gently but the kiss is getting rougher. You instantly feel your pussy clench and moan at its emptiness. Your hands running through Jungkook's hair pull him closer and invite him to kiss you deeper if it's even possible. His own hands move all over your body: your hair, your neck, your back, your waist and your ass. He squeezes the latter and a small groan from you tells him you love it. Actually, you love every single of his touch on your body.
Your hands are struggling to take off his jacket but manage to do it. You want to feel closer, better. Without this barrier, you can appreciate his hard muscles. Gosh, it feels so good under your fingertips.
Jungkook leads you to your couch and puts you on his lap without breaking the kiss for a second. You are completely high on his touch, you can't think straight - not that you really care. Between your legs, you can feel his hard cock pressing on your covered and wet pussy. A moan of pure delight escapes your mouth and you press down to enhance the touch. You slowly begin to move your hips back and forth to release some of the urge of friction. Jungkook grabs your ass to control your move and you love it. You love how he uses your body to please himself.
But it's not enough. You need to feel his skin. You don't know if you said it or if Jungkook can read in your mind but he halts the kiss for just a couple of seconds in order to take off your dress. His intense eyes discover your matching white bra and panties, so pure, so innocent. It makes him crazy because the horniness visible on your face is far from innocent. He leans down and places his head between your boobs, kissing your skin. Your body is on fire. Your head rolls back - which makes your moans huskier - and you pull on his black hair by pleasure and he smirks.
You are so hot, so beautiful, he doesn't want any other men to touch you. He wants to mark you to make you his but he also knows that a huge hickey on your neck will not be great for your career. So he decides to put his mark somewhere only him can see. You feel his mouth sucking on the skin of your left breast, close to your heart. It hurts a little but it's a delightful hurt. Jungkook takes the time to admire his art piece - he has never created something so beautiful. The red, purplish mark is shiny because of his saliva and it looks so good on your soft skin.
"You're so fucking hot" he says with a raspy and so sexy voice
He suddenly changes position to lie you down underneath him and kisses you again. You take the hem of his black and large t-shirt to indicate you want it to disappear. One second later your wish is fulfilled. What a beautiful view. His chest is buff, his abs are well drawn, his arms are strong and his shoulders are large. Your hands brush his warm skin and you feel his muscles flexing under your touch. His body is so perfect. You'll never be bored of looking at it.
However, your eyes spontaneously shut when Jungkook's hand reaches your groin. His fingers find your clit in a second and start circle it through your panties.
"Oh my god!" You moan in his neck
It's so good. So fucking good. It's like you've never have been touched before. Your moans are louder as his fingers get faster. At this point, your panties are soaked by your juices - it could be kind of an unpleasant sensation if you could think.
"You're so wet" Jungkook teases you while he kisses your neck
You are feeling your orgasm slowly building up in you but the emptiness in your pussy is torture. You need something to fix that.
"Please"
It's the only thing you manage to say with a choked voice.
"Please what?" Jungkook smirks
He knows damn well that you can't concentrate enough to speak properly and he is filled with pride that the reason is himself. Seeing how you are going crazy under his touch is so fucking satisfying. The most important, the only mission in his life right now is to make you cum. He leaves your neck to kiss your body all the way down until he reaches your wet pussy.
"I think we should take this off" he says while trapping the fabric of your panties with his forefinger
He looks up at you to have your approval.
"Yes, please" you moan, looking away with embarrassment of Jungkook being so close to your intimacy.
What you don't know is that your shaky 'please' turned him on so fucking bad. He loves having control during sex, even being a little dominant. Fulfilling his desires without even knowing it makes him want to please you even more. So he slides your soaked panties down your legs and opens your thighs. The sight is breathtaking: your cunt is glistening with your arousal. He wants to taste you, you make him hungry. He gently rubs two fingers from your clit to your entrance before diving onto your pussy with his mouth.
He gives a single kiss on your clit at first and the feeling is so fucking good that you immediately grab his hair in a desperate need of holding on to something to not sink into this unbearable pleasure. Your fingers in his black strands give him the green light to go further. His tongue is now completely attached to your pussy. He is literally making out with it. He is so good with his mouth. Your clit is taken care of like it deserves. His tongue rolls around your bud, then takes a quick strip from your entrance to your clit and rolls again. It's a perfect pattern and it makes you go crazy. The wetness created by his saliva and your own arousal is full of sins and pleasures.
"Oh my god, Jungkook!"
You feel your orgasm coming and your fist clenches as much as your pussy. Jungkook notices it and enters your pussy with his finger. This friction in your body is exactly what you needed. He pulls in and out at a pleasant pace with his digit. Your brain is foggy, you don't even know where you are, you don't even hear your own moans. All you can feel is him.
"More, more!" Is all you can say
He adds another finger, sightly speeding up the back-and-forth's pace, his tongue still playing with your clit.
"You taste so fucking good, I could eat you all day"
His words reasoning on your pussy is too much to bare and you cum on his face and on his two fingers in you, screaming his name. The best fucking orgasm of your life. Your legs quiver when you reach your climax. But what did you expect from Jungkook? He was your best kiss, it's only natural for him to make you cum like nobody had done it before.
It takes you a few seconds to catch your breathe and to settle down back on Earth. Your cheeks, even red before, are blushing harder when you realize that you just let your crush eating you out. It takes you a lot of courage to look down to meet Jungkook's face between your legs. You see his mouth and chin glistening with your juice. The view is sinful. But he defies even more the limits of hotness allowed when he puts his fingers into his mouth to taste more of your cum. You gasp at the indecent teasing.
Jungkook goes up to your face and kisses you. You taste yourself on his mouth and you have to say that it's hot.
"Are you okay?" He asks you gently
His consideration is a dangerous weapon for your heart. Fortunately, you're still too much in the frog of pleasure to overthink it.
"Yes. It-It was really good" you whisper, blushing.
Jungkook's pride is beyond clouds when he saw how strong was your orgasm because of him. He wants to be the one that makes you cum the most, the only one that makes you cum. Because you are so pretty, so hot when you reach your high, he wants to be the only one who witnesses it. He wants to fuck you so hard that you won't ever be attracted to another man. His possessiveness is killing him. You are messing with his brain and you don't even know it. You are crushing down all his boundaries.
"I, uhm, I want to please you too" you say shyly
Jungkook is amused by your shyness when he just made you cum. But he is also touched that you care about his pleasure. He can't deny that his cock is really hard and that he would love to release the tension in his body. But he doesn't want you to feel obligated to return the favor. He didn't touch you to have something in return, he did it because he wanted to see your cute face torn in pleasure, a pleasure provided by him.
"You don't have to, Y/N" he says with a small peck on your lips
He helps you sit correctly on your couch, and the leaking between your legs make you wince. But not as much as his answer. Doesn't he want you to touch him? Does he think you won't please him? You feel a dragger in your heart, and maybe in your pride also. Jungkook frowns when he notices your expression darkens.
"It's not that I don't want to" he feels the need to tell you "Because, believe me, I want to. You make me fucking hard. But you don't have to, you don't have to feel obligated"
He cups your cheeks and you see the sincerity in his eyes. Rather than pushing you off, it makes you want to please him stronger.
"I want to" you simply say
The determination in your voice startles him a little bit because a new wave of arousal rushes through him.
"Okay" is the only thing he finds to say
You put your delicate hand on his stretched crotch, feeling him hard and big through the fabric of his pants. You can't deny that it makes you horny. Jungkook's body tenses, watching carefully your movements to detect any sign of displeasure and stop you in this case. But he only sees the way you blush and bit your bottom lip. So fucking cute, he thinks. He waits for you to express by your actions your want to get rid of his pants. He doesn't want to rush you and let you be in control of the pace, even if it's like a torture for him: he has been hard for a long time now.
When you grab the hem of this pants, he gets the message and rises his hips to slide down his piece of clothing. The bulge of his black underwear shocks you a little bit: he is fucking big. Your reaction makes him cocky, he knows he's big - a lot of women already told him that - but now he wants you to think that. He wants you to think about how his cock would fill your tight pussy. The thought of it makes his hard member twitch.
You push down the hem of his underwear to free his length. Your mouth waters at the sight of the perfect, velvety skin. He is hard, and thick. You wonder how would feel the stretch if he were in your pussy. You gently caresse his tip with your thumb and a drop of pre-cum escapes. You spread it on the tip, which makes it shiny and appetizing. You start jerking him off and a sigh of delight comes from Jungkook's mouth.
"You're doing great, babe"
The pet name makes your pussy clench and your heart beat faster. You also feel proud and more confident so you increase the speed, putting the right pressure. Jungkook's breathing gets more and more rugged, you can tell that he likes it. He grabs firmly - but not too harshly to not hurt you - your hair and pull you closer. He kisses you ruthlessly, his tongue meets yours. You moan at his sudden ardent desire. And this is what he wanted: hearing your sweet whimpers while you jerking him off. Your hand on his cock and your mouth on his lips are a dangerous combination for his sanity.
"You're perfect, so fucking perfect" he says against your pretty mouth "Keep going, you gonna make me cum, babe"
Babe.
Once again, it fills you with indescribable sensations - physical sensations and other sensations that you push away to not overthink. You keep sliding up and down your hand on Jungkook's fat cock, your arm is beginning to hurt but you don't stop. Making him feel good is so fucking satisfying. You being the reason of the orgasm of such an attractive, hot, handsome man messes up your bain - and your wet pussy.
"I'm cumming" Jungkook says in a gasp
After a few more strokes, you feel a hot and thick liquid on your hand. Jungkook relaxes his grip in your hair and kisses your temple, with a shortness of breath. Then, he rests his forehead against yours for a moment, to recover a regular breathing.
"It was perfect" he says with a soft smile.
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To soothe, Ignites
It's been three days since i had this thought hit my brain like a freight train and ive been chewing on it ever since in a google doc and anyway here you go
Pairing: Halsin x (female) Tav
Warning: the weight of burgeoning, unresolved tension
Summary: It's just a nice friendly, platonic massage, what's the worst that could happen?
Rating: M just to be safe. Nothing really overly explicit
Halsin rubs the back of his neck and leans back a little, stretching, a faint frown on his weathered face. Across the camp, Tav watches discreetly over the edge of her book. It’s not the first time she’s witnessed him absently soothing an ache at the end of the day.
It occurs to her that, for being such a large man, he must get quite the cramp in his neck from always having to bow his head to talk to her and her companions. Someone calls to her and she turns away, distracted from the vein of thought.
It isn’t until later, after they’ve eaten their dinner and people have started to drift back to their own tents, she picks up the thread again. First watch is barely a chore at all with how her mind, resistant to settling down for the evening, spins through a dizzying whirl of thoughts.
Generally she stokes the fire with naught but a book for company, occasionally walking the perimeter of camp and puzzling on the mystery of the Absolute. Tonight though, the cult is a distant problem, distant as their destination in Baldur’s Gate anyway. With Ketheric defeated and another long stretch to their journey waiting for morning to begin she finds her mind wandering to topics much closer at hand.
The elf was a powerful druid. His command of the druidic arts was a sight to behold though she only caught glimpses of it during the assault on Moonrise. Of course, she vividly remembers the warmth of his healing magic mending her seconds after an arrow had caught her between the ribs. It had been quick. The pain had torn through her concentration like a blaze of hellfire. She had crashed to her knees, the taste of iron and mortality on her tongue, her vision blurring with shadows. She’d barely had time to suck in a wet sounding wheeze when his hands had been on her, nature’s divine magic enveloping her entirely.
“You’re all right, lass,” he’d said firmly, as if so secure in the inevitability of her being alright that he would brook no argument on the matter. From her or her fatal injury. The pain had reduced to a manageable ache and she’d sucked in a lungful of air greedily, hardly aware of it when he’d dragged her back to her feet. Until she’d seen the bugbear running up behind him, bloody axe raised high, and then she’d shoved him away and instantly thrown herself back into the fray of violence.
The archdruid had proven himself more than just a valuable ally, but a good companion too. Perhaps even a friend. He’d always been polite and sincere, if a little distant. More attentive to his god, paying an impressive amount of time dedicated to his prayers and meditations rather than the camaraderie and dramas of their little camp. Still, even if he did not seek out her or anyone else’s companionship he was always willing to sit with her during her watch when she sought out his. Putting down his book or whatever he was doing with that scrap of wood he was always carrying and putting the full weight of his attention and focus on her entirely.
Since reuniting the two halves of Thaniel’s spirit it seemed to Tav that Halsin also seemed more whole. As if a missing piece of his own spirit had finally slotted back into place. His smiles seemed warmer and his attention more focused outward than in.
As if summoned by the force of her thoughts, Tav caught movement from the corner of her eye and was surprised to see the druid himself emerge from the gloom of the forest. He was on his way to his own tent but paused when he saw her in the glow of the campfire.
“Good evening,” he greets, approaching. He’s doffed his shirt, a common habit of his in the evening but the glow of the fire gives the planes of his chest an otherworldly glow.
Tav feels the corners of her smile lift, the clattering of her thoughts stilling. “That it is,” she agrees. “For once.”
With the shadow curse lifted she can finally spy the twinkling of stars between the boughs of the trees. When a breeze flutters through camp it feels like fresh air being breathed into the land instead of a death rattle come to herald some horrific doom.
Halsin, following her gaze to the sky, smiles and nods in assent. “And for many more nights to come, I believe.”
Lost in thought he doesn’t feel her gaze as she takes the opportunity to openly study him. He looks well, not relaxed per say, but a little stiff. Absentmindedly the druid raises a hand and rubs at his neck, cocking his head as if to relieve a persistent ache and Tav comes to a sudden decision.
“Come. Sit,” she gestures to the space before her by the fire. Halsin gives her a quizzical smile, his brows furrowed. “You’ve been worrying that neck of yours like a dog with a bone, let me help.”
“It is nothing to be concerned about,” he tries to defer but Tav is adamant.
“Nonsense. Can’t have my favorite archdruid suffering,” she teases. “Not when I have the means to alleviate it very easily. Come.” She reaches down from her perch on the log they’ve been using as seating and pats the ground between her feet expectantly. “Allow me.”
Hesitating for the span of a breath Halsin relents, sitting himself before her. At her feet he spies a book and picks it up curiously. “A travel guide?”
Tav hums and widens the gap between her knees, gently guiding him closer for a better reach. Despite the cooling autumn night air his bare skin radiates heat and she tries not to think too much about any other circumstances where her legs might bracket his body so close to hers. Or of his proximity to her own budding source of heat. Swallowing, mouth suddenly very dry, Tav refocuses on the task at hand. “Would you like to read it? Probably not much new information for you but the author’s particular, ah, outlook is quite something. An entertaining read if not a wholly informative one.”
Halsin chuckles, opening and scanning the text. “Thank you, I’ve found my own reading material quite exhausted of late.”
Brushing his tawny hair off his shoulders, Tav tsk’s with mock reproach. “You should have said, I’ve quite the collection now. When you’ve finished with that one, let me know.”
“You are incredibly generous,” Halsin murmurs but it’s so low she can’t be sure if she was meant to hear it.
At first it feels clumsy as she maps out the expanse of his wide shoulders. In truth, it’s been a very long time since she’s done anything like this for someone but, much like picking up the sword again after a decade or so of neglecting the craft, her hands seem to know their way around better than her mind. With dextrous skill she gets to work, alternating between using her thumbs and the heel of her palms to glide over thick muscle, coaxing each gnarl to release.
The camp is quiet, the rest of her companions lost to slumber, and she quickly loses herself to the lull of the crackling fire and the delicate flutter of turning pages as Halsin reads. They don’t speak but the silence is comfortable, easy.
With each rigid cord of muscle she rubs into submission the druid relaxes a little more, the occasional sigh reaching her ears that makes her smile with smug triumph. When she finds a particularly persistent knot she increases the pressure of her stroke eliciting a grunt.
“Gods, sorry,” she murmurs hastily, easing her touch to rest lightly against his warm skin, feeling her cheeks flush with chagrin at her over enthusiasm. Halsin merely shakes his head. He turns his face to eye her with a gentle smile, the hazel of his eyes dark against the backdrop of the firelight.
“Nothing to apologize for,” he assures her softly. “I am quite unharmed. Continue if you wish.”
Trusting he’s not merely humoring her she resumes her ministrations with more care. She devotes her attention to increasing the pressure when necessary with exacting precision. Working her way across his shoulders until she comes to the tight line of muscles branching up his neck. Each stroke is steady and firm.
Between the monotony of the movements and the intensity of her focus it’s some time before she realizes he hasn’t turned a page in a while. His shoulders are lax and when she strokes a thumb up the nape of his neck he leans into it, only slightly, as if unconsciously.
Tav is not unaware of the intimacy of the moment. She’d put her own lustful thoughts in a box and buried it deep in the back of her mind since his gentle rebuffment of her clumsy advances at the tiefling party. An entire age ago from this moment, but it springs open now.
With a detached sort of curiosity, as if she is watching her hands from outside herself she runs deft fingers through his hair and scratches at the delicate skin at the base of his scalp. He shivers and releases a sound that is more akin to a sensation rumbling up from his chest and buzzing along her fingertips like electricity. It feels like crossing an invisible line.
The druid and the ranger still, as if both caught together in a web they don’t quite know how to navigate. He doesn’t move away and, pulse suddenly hammering in her throat, Tav rests her hands on the top of his shoulders gently. She drags the pads of her fingers down his back, skimming the warmth of his body and he exhales heavily, a sound that travels up Tav’s spine with expectation. An ache begins to bloom inside her core, a greedy hunger that flexes and curls under her skin with intoxicating heat and intent.
“My my, isn’t this cozy?”
The dulcet tone of Astarion’s voice breaks the delicate thread of something that had risen up between them like the sharp crack of a snapping live wire and Tav jerks her hands away guiltily, embarrassment drowning out the previous brief flickerings of passion.
“Astarion,” she greets and hopes he doesn’t pick up on the breathless waver in her tone. No such luck, his red eyes practically gleam in the dim evening light as he takes them in by the fire. She clears her throat, her scattering thoughts tangling in on themselves while she looks for solid ground. “What are you–”
“Second watch, darling.” The vampire’s expression is too sharp, too knowing. “Off to bed you pop. Our fearless leader should be well rested for the journey ahead.”
Halsin stirs from his place on the ground, shifting and rising as if lumbering out of a trance. “Of course,” he says and offers his hand to pull her up from the log. “It’s later than I realized. Forgive me.”
Whatever spell had enthralled them is broken and the look in his eye is friendly, polite. It burns more than the embarrassment had. Her hand is still in his and she withdraws it, feeling uncertain of her footing and hating it.
“Gentlemen.” She feels like she’s still mentally gathering the parts of her that had spilled out and stuffing it all inside a deep dark hole inside herself. An easier task if she also didn’t feel like instead of flesh, her entire person was made of sticky goop. “See you in the morning.”
“Sweet dreams, dear,” Astarion calls out to her, something in his dark voice suggestive. She raises a hand without looking back and beats a hasty retreat.
The air is cold now, especially away from the fire. Curling up in her little makeshift tent, Tav does little to resist the memory of being wrapped in the warm glow of the druid’s body heat. She stares at the ceiling of her little world and wonders what the hell was that.
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Three Word Prompt to Distract my Busy Thoughts...It worked. Genre was Horror with the words, popsicle sticks, lawn and stem.
My grandmother was a profoundly intense woman. A fervent follower of Jesus, she never missed Sunday Mass. Though she had a green thumb, she didn't relish gardening as a hobby. Instead of giving a monetary donation at Mass every Sunday, she brought plants to the houses of anyone on the prayer list or anyone in church she heard needed a little extra kindness in their life. It's strange, or maybe it would be to you, but my grandmother was different from others we sat next to, kneeled next to, then sat again next to, stood next to, shook hands with, and wished peace to. As you've probably figured out, this is a Catholic Mass, a very serious event where most of the smiling and speaking happens when you shake hands. That has always been my favorite part—it felt like a moment to finally smile, talk, and someone wishing me peace always made me feel a bit better inside, though I'd never admit I enjoyed any part of it. But my grandma, she didn’t smile shaking hands; she did it rather reluctantly, almost like she was a mix of angry and frustrated with her faith, or maybe with God, most likely due to her forced devotion to it. It was written all over her face, at least I think it was. I was nine, then ten, then eleven; I didn’t learn about human emotions until later—that's another story.
Sometimes, I would imagine that she was really a spy for the devil and not a devout Catholic at all. It kept my mind busy during the boring sermon, and I swear her expressions fit the part just right. But all that changed one night when I walked by her bedroom and saw her kneeling by her bed, clutching her rosary with a focus that seemed almost desperate. Each bead slipped through her fingers with a whispered prayer, her lips moving silently. It was a nightly ritual, one she never missed. I wondered if I would ever understand the significance of those beads if they ever ended up in my hands.
Another peculiar thing about my grandmother was that she went to everybody's funeral. It was like she knew everyone who died in our entire town. When you get old, you know all the other old people, but these weren't just old people—sometimes a baby would die, sometimes a mother would get cancer and pass away, sometimes a whole family from out of town would get in a car accident, and she’d go pay her respects at their funeral too. I never questioned it too much. How can you question an old woman going to pay her respects and bring a grieving family a memorial plant grown from the stems of the funeral arrangement they loved most, complete with soil and lessons on how to plant it and take care of it? She would teach the whole family of the deceased; the children could come too. I went with her many times, and it gave these people such comfort. This made my grandmother even more mysterious to me. The hardness of her look, the way she did things—it was all so intriguing. Despite all the little red flags and inconsistencies, I always came back to thinking how beautiful what she was doing was, how it meant something to these people who were overjoyed. My grandmother couldn’t be an evil demon; she couldn’t have those looks in her eyes because she was doing something more terrible than I could imagine. I liked to imagine her being a demon, but she was my grandma, so I was pretty sure she wasn’t.
Grandma would have me kneel down with her and make tiny little headstones. We made these with popsicle sticks glued together every summer. We would tape the funeral pamphlet, you know, the one with the photo, and cut it to fit over the popsicle stick frame. Then we would attach one last stick to the bottom so it would stand up in the soil; yep, it was a mini headstone. Her backyard was filled with mini popsicle stick headstones. They all had stems planted around them in the soil. Those stems, like magic, would grow into new plants and flowers—they were beautiful. When the flowers had bloomed and were ready to take to the next family, my grandmother's eyes almost gleamed with an unusual excitement. If you saw it, you’d probably think it was misplaced or maybe even inappropriate. But I was nine, I was ten; I didn’t know what it meant, so I just forgot about it. I didn’t understand, and it was too much for my ten-year-old brain.
That hindsight is 20/20 thing is real. Grandma lived for about nine more years, and during that time, I became an adult. I wasn’t around to help her with her backyard graveyard as much. But I rushed home when she got very sick. I said my final goodbye to my strange, intense, interesting, unusual, quirky grandma. For the first time ever, her eyes looked soft. She looked into my eyes, and I wondered if maybe she had made peace with her life, or maybe she was deep in thought. “Grandma, what are you thinking about?" I asked. “I’m picturing you carrying on what I've done for the church and for the people. I hope that you could do that for me. I hope that you can promise that you will do that for me. I'm leaving the house, the garden, and everything to you. All the instructions are written in the shed. Everything I have is yours. Just do this for me."
"Grandma, of course, I promise I will go to all the town funerals that I can. I'll cut the stems and get the photos. The stems will grow into new plants, and I will give them to... wait, who do I give them to?"
“Whoever needs prayers on the prayer list at Sunday Mass. If the person on the prayer list is in the hospital or a nursing home, don't bring the plant and soil there. The person won't be there permanently, and the plant is meant to be forever. Bring two bags of soil and the plants to their home, and teach the children and adults there how to plant them."
“One bag may be enough to cause some effects on the family."
"Affects, Grandma? Like gratitude or thank you cards?"
“My sweet grandson, there are many short and long-term effects that depend on many variables. You'll see, don't worry."
“Grandma, are you okay? I don't really understand what you mean."
“Well, you have to see to know. So deliver your first one now," she said. Her eyes at that moment became dark but excited, cunning. She looked into my soul, but her blackened eyes were devoid of anything, empty, void. My grandma was not in there. I wondered, is this what happens when you die? But how could she have left her body, how could her soul be gone when she’s awake? Now, as an adult, I knew something was wrong. I knew that all along there was something about my grandmother that was sinister.
“Son, I'm very tired now. Please go pick up the plants at my house. This child is six months old and is sick. He needs it near him, so please place the flowers and soil in the nursery. Do not stay very long at all."
“Grandma, I don't want to be rude."
“You asked about the affects. The affects on a child are intense and immediate. They could start minutes after being in contact with the soil."
“The soil, Grandma? What is in the soil, and what effect will it have on a little baby? Is it some holistic, natural thing you've gotten into? I don't believe in that stuff. You can't cure a sick baby with magic soil."
“My stubborn grandson, just be on your way, and you will see. Listen to me carefully. After the sweet baby's funeral, which should be in a week or two, show the parents the utmost kindness. Give them a gift that will always remind them of their child. Go back to their house with more soil and plant with them their child's plants in the backyard."
“Grandma, did they give you some meds? Are you saying... what are you saying? Are you... wait?"
As David stood up, his grandmother looked pale, her eyes barely open. "David, one more thing. You mustn’t forget to bring enough soil. The chemicals, they make the plants grow so malevolently powerful."
She smiled at me, looking straight into my eyes, and I knew exactly why. I felt it in my eyes—they were black, empty. I felt nothing but a strange sense of excitement. At that moment, I changed forever, this incredible sense of clarity came over me, I wasn't meant to understand it, until that moment. I had become blind as an adult to my family's sacred truth. Just as my Grandmother warned me, my ego took over for a while, but this too was part of my soul's plan. Everything came rushing back into me, I could almost feel all of the dense energy releasing and being pulled out of me and this powerful light entering.
There was never a demon, the devil was not at work in my Grandmother! She protected me, and she groomed me. Our destinies intertwined, our darkness a continuance through generations. It all made sense now. My grandmother loved me, protected me, and groomed me, all while never stealing my innocence. There was never any demon inside of her, or any sickness. Everyone has darkness inside them; that I know for sure. Some are meant to let it completely take over, until they can accept and heal it. Some are meant to walk in the light and spread the light to the world. What about you? Are you lying to yourself and everyone else, is the darkness buried deep enough? Are you open and healed? Are you letting all your light come in? If not, what of the urges then, have they come back yet? No one can escape themselves forever. So, tell me… which parts of yourself are in that box buried so deep inside? Why can’t they be acknowledged? Are they too ugly? Do you feel enraged if someone really ‘sees’ you, and catches a glimpse of what you hide? Do you become enraged at that point and project the darkness onto them? If you are doing this, it’s bad, and it’s destructive, but it’s not too late. You can stop the darkness from winning, we all can. Accept it, acknowledge that ugly parts exist in you, and in all of us. Love the parts of you that you don’t like, as you do the rest of yourself. They make up the story of your soul's journey through lifetimes.
32 years after David sat with his dying Grandmother. A little boy opened a leather journal he'd never seen before sitting on his kitchen table.
He recognized his father's handwriting and began to read.
In David's seemingly twisted rationale, he trusted that those he led to their deaths had soul plans that included this violent end. He believed that their family members were meant to endure the agony of grief, a necessary suffering to evolve in their spiritual journeys. To David, the act of murder was not evil; it was a sacred duty, a dark rite of passage. His understanding of his role was both horrifying and absolute. He knew, with chilling certainty, that he was fulfilling a cosmic order. Each death was a step closer to his soul's ultimate evolution. And so, he continued, each murder more calculated than the last, each victim a willing participant in his grotesque mission. David's final thought before he drifted off to sleep at night was simple, yet profound.
"In death, I bring life to my soul."
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isn't it romantic? | myg (01)
ENTRY ONE: Me Before You
⟶ SERIES MASTERPOST
Many things in life have a polar opposite: left and right, night and day, yin and yang, you and Min Yoongi... Hopeless romantic meets gloomy cynic. The only thing you seem to share is a magazine column but even then, you still can’t seem to understand how Yoongi can be called ‘The Love Doctor’ when he is the antithesis of everything love represents.
pairing: yoongi x f!reader; side/past taehyung x f!reader
rating: 18+ (minors dni)
genre/warnings: coworkers to lovers, magazine writers au, fluff, angst, eventual smut; central themes of cheating (not between yoongi and oc), swearing (a staple in this household 😗), one bit is a lilllll suggestive?, mentions of drinking, i think that's it hmmm, barely edited bc u know how we do
word count: 5.1k
note: this is the yoongi brainrot speaking !!! the banner for this entry is one of my all time favorite pics of him and i will find a way to use it in everything !!! but erhm yeah iir is officially starting and i'm very curious to see what y'all think about it 😗 please like it haha jk no i'm serious please like it it's my baby
— as always, i’d appreciate any thoughts or comments you may have, and please drop a like and/or reblog if you enjoy reading ♡
I waste my breath on a prayer, you don't care, I was never a part of your plan, You can't make a God of somebody, Who's not even half of a half-decent man.
I Burned LA Down - Noah Cyrus
Half your life, you hated blue.
You often associated it with so many bad things - loss, betrayal, loneliness. The great big storm. The end of life.
Most of the pigtails-wearing girls in your class disliked it because it was often a boy’s color. You hated it because of a stranger on a beach.
Then you discovered Blue Side (as ironic as the name was), the magazine that everybody and their mother was reading. There was this column - the Love Maze (as corny as it sounded) - that had your 15-year-old self hooked from the first article you read, “Flirty Pickup Lines to Text Your Crush”. It gave you a nice little distraction from the reality of your fucked up family.
You’d get home from school and dive right into it. You could count on the maze for a new article every day, covering all kinds of things - cute little quizzes, daily love horoscopes, relationship tidbits…
You started reading it religiously because it was stupid, and fun, but it was more than that too. They covered real-life stories of actual people, which you’d never really thought about. For the most part, it was tedious. Rekindling with an old flame whilst grocery shopping, accidentally spilling coffee on a stranger who then asked you out on the spot, etc. Things like that. You found them so… unremarkable.
But then it went beyond that, when they told their stories looking back on years and years after that first happenstance. How there was love in the mundane. How there was love every single day, even on the bad ones. How there was a spark that two people cared for and nurtured into a warm fire that never burnt out.
How there was love.
How there was always love.
To you, that was magical. It was something you’d only ever heard about in fairytales when you were a kid.
You still remember the exact moment when it all changed for you.
You met Kim Taehyung during your third week at Blue Side, where you were a wide-eyed assistant editor who somehow wiggled her way into a position there, and he was an effortlessly charming graphic designer.
Admittedly, the first time that you two had ever talked, wasn’t under ideal circumstances. You were tucked away behind the office building, nails digging into your palms at 3PM on a sunny but freezing afternoon, willing your tears to stay where they belonged. You’d felt severely underqualified, like you were only flailing about, trying to keep your head above water but something kept pulling at your feet, not stopping until you were at the very bottom. People always talked about how your early 20s were the most beautiful and freeing years, when you could truly live and feel your youth blossom all around you. But that just wasn’t true. Those were the loneliest years of your life.
Taehyung had found you then, while he was out for a quick smoke break. He could’ve made a lame excuse and left, or simply pretended to not notice you were even there, but he stayed. He approached you and asked what was wrong. He offered you words of reassurance and encouragement even though you were nothing but a stranger to him.
You were touched by his simple act of kindness and his endearing smile. Maybe it’s because you’d never been offered much kindness throughout your life that his small gesture seemed like everything. In a way, it was everything. He looked like the kind of fairytale love that you’d only seen in movies, only read about in Love Maze. To this day, a part of you still thinks that you fell in love with him the very second he asked, “Are you okay?”
The timing felt right.
Taehyung felt right.
He, too, was like the sun in the middle of a cold and isolating winter.
You remember the color of his sweater, and it was then that you realized blue didn’t have to be so bad after all.
[15:39] You: what r u doing tonight?
[15:45] Tae ♡: probably just head home after the gym. play a couple matches with Jungkook. hope i don’t die boiling water for ramen and hit the hay early
[15:46] Tae ♡: miss you :(
[15:49] You: thanks
[15:52] Tae ♡: mean
[15:53] You: lol 😇
[15:54] You: i miss you too <3
[15:56] Tae ♡: can’t you come back earlier?
[15:58] You: there’s only a week left. you’re a big boy, u can handle it :)
That was a lie. You were already on the train when you sent him that text, bouncing your leg all the way back to the city at the mere thought of surprising him with your early return. You’d taken a leave from work to visit your family, spent some time somewhere quieter, away from the hustle and bustle of the big city.
You watch as the scenery passes by, fast-paced like you’re in a montage. The rest of forever is right around the corner. You wish you could skip to your happily ever after and not have to rewind the tape ever again.
When the diamond on your ring finger catches the sunlight coming from outside the window, you allow yourself a blissful sigh as you gaze at the jewelry adorning your hand. But if you’re being honest, it doesn’t fit anymore, at least that’s what you’ve noticed over the past month. It’s a little loose now, not quite noticeable but you can still make out the slight difference if you concentrate hard enough. You should get it resized soon, maybe later this week now that your schedule has cleared up earlier than expected.
Three weeks is a lot of time to spend around only your family, you realize. You thought you could do it - seeing that you hadn’t been back in a while - but the second you stepped foot into your childhood home, you remembered what a dysfunctional household you had.
It was nice while it lasted, which wasn’t very long. You did all you could, bit your tongue and tried to suppress that unresolved anger until it eventually became too much to handle. Your mom has always been a complainer. Nobody likes talking about it, but she’d bring up the same old shit almost every day even though you all know what happened. Your dad would just sit there and listen as she berates him in front of you and your sister, and you suppose he keeps quiet because there’s really nothing to be said in his defense. It was his crime, and this is his punishment.
Sometimes, you wonder why dad still stays. Sometimes, you wonder why mom still lets him.
You just wanted to go, even though this was supposed to be home. You want to leave every time you visit, and it’s a haunting feeling that keeps following you around your whole life. Why is home always a place you want to leave?
When you arrived back in the city, the first place you went to was Taehyung’s apartment. You lounged about, enjoying the much needed silence after two whole weeks with your family, killing time as you waited for your fiance to return from work.
You thought about you and Taehyung, and how your wedding was only months away but this was still his place. You wondered why you hadn’t moved in yet, though it wasn’t for a lack of trying on his part. Even though you spent most days of the week at Taehyung’s, you still had your own place.
Twenty minutes before he was usually supposed to come home, you ordered from his favorite restaurant, so he would have a proper meal once he was back, instead of half-assing his dinner with flavorless ramen like he’d planned.
But Taehyung didn’t come back, and the food has been cold for hours now.
You glance at your phone again.
11:02 PM.
No new notifications.
The last message you sent him was around 8:30 - just a simple Whatcha doing? - but he hasn’t replied.
There’s a small part of you that goes into a dark place, and you physically have to shake off the thoughts. Taehyung has never given you a reason not to trust him, but still, the wandering thoughts can’t help themselves. Is it insecurity, or paranoia? Or have you been programmed to be skeptical after everything that’s happened?
Maybe he’s just caught up with work. Maybe the guys at the office had last minute plans. Maybe Jungkook showed up unannounced and dragged Taehyung into one of his shenanigans again. There’s a lot of reasons to explain why he isn’t home when he said he would be.
You wait for him. Sometimes, waiting is all you can do.
You don’t get any indication of life until some time after midnight, when the door opens and you hear him stumble into the hallway. The first thing that escapes you is a sigh of relief - relieved that he’s home, safe and sound, and not out there somewhere doing things you would really not even let yourself imagine. You sit there on the couch, shrouded by darkness, now even more committed to making him squeal out of his skin after (unintentionally) making you wait for hours like that.
You carefully listen to the sounds coming from down the hall, trying to time when you’ll jump up and shock him.
There’s his shoes dropping to the floor carelessly. There’s some shuffling as he moves about, navigating his way through the dark. There’s a light thud, the sound of something hitting the wall softly.
A sharp intake of breath. His familiar groan, muffled. A whimper, feminine.
Your mind instantly blanks, and that nervous breath from before has suddenly found its way back into your lungs, growing in size until you stand up and say, “Tae?”
Somebody shrieks, and it’s neither you nor Taehyung.
When he switches on the lights, you don’t know what to focus on first - your fiance with his shirt unbuttoned, red lipstick smudged around the corners of his mouth; or the woman next to him with her back against the wall, hair disheveled, one strap of her pretty blue dress pulled down.
Huh.
If this was what you wanted, then you suppose you succeeded.
Taehyung stares at you, eyes blown wide, mouth opening and closing dumbly as he searches for words. “Y/N, I-” he stutters, “w-what are you doing here?”
You’ve seen this exact moment in movies, read it in books and online posts on the Blue Side forum from people seeking advice. You witnessed your own mother go through it when you had just learned how to read.
Your nails dig into the palm of your hands as you steady yourself. You’re not sure what your face is showing, if it’s even showing anything at all. You’re being pulled apart in every direction. Things that you felt as a child are things you never wanted to feel as an adult. It’s not until now that you finally understand why mom hasn’t gotten over it, even though it’s been decades. This is the kind of hurt that chases you wherever you go, never relenting until it makes sure it has a home deep within your bones.
You inhale a shaky breath, and take a step back when Taehyung starts approaching you. “Y/N, I’m so sorry,” he says, his voice cracking on the apology.
You don’t want to hear any of it. You don’t want to be here anymore. For the second time today, you’re leaving home. For the second time in your life, home is being taken away again.
Somewhere in the back of your head, a tiny voice echoes, There it is.
You run out of there, feeling like the ceiling is going to collapse on you. You hear him call out your name, but his voice drifts further and further away as you move. Taehyung isn’t even following you. The faint scent of whiskey on his breath follows you out, but not him.
You keep moving until you’re out on the street, until you can’t even see the building anymore. You shiver from the chilly air, and the influx of emotions that threatens to make you burst. Lightning cuts across the night sky, flashing bright for a split second before everything dulls into darkness again. The forecast said it was going to rain tonight, you recall. Your phone in your bag vibrates the whole time, but still, no one follows you.
Your feet slow to a halt when the first drop of rain hits the ground. You’re not even sure how long you were walking, but now that you’ve stopped, you notice the shiver is gone. You’re standing completely still, and that those seismic waves in the center of your chest from earlier are nowhere to be found.
Oh. You’re doing it again.
Heavier drops start to dampen the earth.
You don’t know where else to go.
Not your own apartment. Not now. No, it’s too empty there.
Maybe it’s a sign from the universe, that you’re just undeserving of a place to belong.
You open your phone to find his name on your screen, next to the words (7) missed calls. You ring up the only person you can, and when she finally picks up, you say, “Can I come over?”
Even when your voice cracks, you don’t cry. The earthquake never comes.
Sohee takes you in like the good friend she is. You’re grateful that she was someone you could count on to always have your back at work, who then turned into one of your best friends outside of the office too.
She gives you some clothes to change into, and doesn’t question anything when you ask if you could spend the night. Though, you have a feeling that she knows who this is about. She leaves you alone to get some rest, but it’s probably because she has work in the morning too, and it was already 1:30AM when you interrupted her peace and quiet with the call.
You don’t sleep a wink that night.
Instead, you think about your mom, and how she must have felt when she found out about your dad’s infidelity, time and time again. It’s true what they say, children really don’t know a lot about their parents.
How did she feel when she first found out? You can’t imagine what it must have been like, going through all of that while having two kids to think about too.
You feel bad that just yesterday, you’d been so annoyed with her that you cut your trip short.
Outside Sohee’s windows, the sky cries, like it’s grieving in place of you, its tears drowning the earth in waves of sorrow. For a moment, you consider stepping out there, to feel the rain on your face and in your hair. But in the end, you stay inside, where you’re sheltered and dry.
You don’t realize that the sun has risen until Sohee knocks on your - well, her - door.
She cracks it open gently. “Babe?” she asks, tentative like you’re a cornered animal, ready to bolt at any given moment. “Are you up?”
You lie in her bed, feeling so foreign in your own skin. You reckon your eyes must be bloodshot from the lack of sleep. You haven’t even cried once.
“I’m alive,” you tell her, as you stare up at the ceiling. There are no stars here, just plain cream-colored paint.
“Okay,” you hear her say, then she pauses for a moment, clearly not knowing how to proceed.
Sohee approaches you, sits on the bed, and gives you a smile. She pats your hair, and it reminds you of your sister. “You wanna tell me what’s wrong? I have some time before I meet Namjoon for breakfast.”
You sit up, reaching for your phone on the bedside table. It’s been switched off since you got here, and when you turn it back on, a flurry of texts light up the device until the screen lags. Messages from Taehyung, asking where you were, begging you to tell him if you were safe.
You open the texts to show him that you’ve read them. That should be enough of an answer.
You test the words in your mouth for a moment. “Taehyung cheated on me,” you say, thinking that if you verbalize it, it would be real and you would finally feel bad. That it was just a delayed reaction, that you were just too in shock to process anything. You want to feel bad, but it doesn’t work.
Sohee’s eyes widen almost comically. “Are you fucking serious?” she asks in disbelief, half because of the nature of the news itself, and half because of how calm you are.
“He cheated on me,” you repeat and still, nothing surfaces. If anything, it backfires. You can physically feel yourself doing it again - shutting down. “I caught him last night.”
You’re not sure what’s wrong with you. This isn’t a normal person’s reaction after they found out their fiance was cheating on them.
But.
It is a you reaction.
You keep doing this, even when you don’t mean to. You ran away last night, and you’re running away now. Your body shuts out every negative emotion until you feel nothing at all. It’s stupid that you do this, and it’s stupid that you don’t know how to stop doing it.
Fight or flight, and you choose flight every time. Every single fucking time.
You wish you could give Sohee something, anything would do. Scream, cry, go back to your apartment to set fire to all of Taehyung’s belongings. Anything would be better than this complete lack of emotions you’re showing.
You watch her face as it happens, things that you should be feeling but aren’t. She’s mostly shocked, angry, but not hurt. How could she? She wasn’t the one being played for a fool. You wish you could ask her to give you some of that anger, even if it’s only a fraction.
You don’t see Taehyung again until two days later, when he shows up at your door. Even when he’s standing in front of you, words spilling from his lips like prayers instead of apologies, you just feel… empty.
You let him inside, and the second that the door closes behind him, you fill up with unease. All your walls are up again, your system on high alert. Everything in your body is telling you that there’s an intruder in your space. Your feet are ready to bolt, just itching to get out of there Go, your head says, you’re not safe here.
Taehyung approaches you, tries to hold your hand, but you just shrug him off. The man in front of you visibly deflates, and despite the way his face falls, you don’t soften.
The first thing he asks you is, “Why didn’t you cry?”
“What?”
“You don’t look like you’ve been crying,” he points out. “Did you cry?”
Reluctantly, you admit, “No.”
Then he just stares at you. When his judgmental gaze holds yours, you feel guilty. Guilty that you’re not mourning the death of this relationship. Guilty that you’re just letting it go, but the truth is you don’t have any fight in you. You don’t see the point in trying to salvage what’s no longer alive.
“Do you even love me?” His voice is hard when he asks this, like he’s trying to keep his anger at bay.
“Of course I love you,” you say, but it lacks conviction. You both know it. The words sound so flaccid coming out of your mouth.
But you love him.
You do.
Did?
“Then why didn’t you cry?”
How do you tell him that you can’t? That you don’t know how?
How do you tell him that if you could, you would reach inside and claw out your feelings like digging for water in a desert.
What the hell is wrong with you? This isn’t a high school crush, or a casual summer fling.
You two were supposed to get married, for fuck’s sake. You were supposed to spend the rest of your life with him. If there’s anything that could make you break through those godforsaken defense mechanisms to let the hurt in, it should be this.
“Did you kiss someone else just to see if I would cry?” you ask. Your voice is even, and you can see that it makes Taehyung more frustrated than he already is.
He grits his teeth, exhaling. You notice his blue sweater, and you stop him before he can say anything else. Obviously, it looks a lot more worn than it did back then, but over the years you’ve always found it endearing. It’s the first memory that you have of him. It was always something you could cherish.
Now, you can’t even bear to look at it.
It’s then that you realize it doesn’t matter what answer he gives you. Yes? No? It genuinely doesn’t matter. There is nothing that can make you see him the same way ever again.
You run your thumb over the ring on your finger, twisting it for a moment to memorize the feel of it. It’s the last thing that ties you to him. “You can have this back,” you say, handing the piece of jewelry back to him.
When a relationship ends, especially for a reason like this, people tend to think it’ll go down in a kdrama-esque fashion - crying, slapping, throwing water in the other person’s face. But that’s not what this is. It’s not cathartic; sometimes the end of a relationship is just a fizzle, doesn’t even make it to a fullburn. It might be unsatisfying, but it happens every day. It’s not always a pivotal point; sometimes it’s just a point.
Taehyung stares at the object in his palm. “That’s it?” he asks in disbelief. “We’re breaking up?”
“What else is there to do?”
“You’re not even gonna ask me anything? Who she was, how it started, how long it’s been going on?”
The other morning, Sohee had asked you to elaborate after you told her what happened, but there was just not that much to tell. You were there. He brought someone else home. End of story.
It was enough for Sohee to call him every name in the book and curse his entire bloodline though.
You suppose that’s a reasonable reaction. Taehyung cheated. You never thought he was a person capable of doing that. Three years of your life, down the drain. There’s nothing left to save.
“Okay,” you shrug tiredly, like you’re just having a casual and dull conversation about the weather. “Who was she? How did it start? How long has it been going on?”
Your name comes out of his mouth, sounding like a scoff. “Ask it like you mean it.”
“But I don’t mean it,” you say. “What difference does it make? Knowing doesn’t change the fact that you still cheated on me. You know what I’ve been through and you still fucked it up. You did the worst thing you could ever do to me.”
“Fuck, I know that!” he groans, throwing his hands up. “I messed up badly, and I’m sorry. Y/N, I’m so fucking sorry. I will never deny that what I did wasn’t wrong. But have you ever stopped to think that maybe you’re to blame for this too? You never want to admit that it could be your fault too.”
“What is that supposed to mean?”
“You tell me. I keep having to put up with your baggage.” Then he shuts right up, barely even makes it through the last syllable before he’s squeezing his eyes shut for a second, clearly realizing that out of all the things he could’ve said, that was grossly out of line. “Fuck, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean th-”
And now you’re getting angry for the wrong reasons.
“You cheated but somehow it’s my fault, right?” you snap. “Boohoo. Sorry that you’ve had to put up with me all these years. I’m such a burden, right? Fuck you, Taehyung.”
“Y/N, I’m sorry, I didn’t-”
“I think you should leave.”
You think it’s the steel in your voice as you say this that makes him stop arguing.
He holds your gaze for a moment longer. You’re someone who tears up when you see stray dogs, who cries alongside the fictional characters in your favorite show. And yet, as you watch your own fiance leave…
The door clicks shut as he exits your life, but everything he said stays behind, clings to your walls and festers like mold.
The second you step onto the floor, everyone grows quiet. Lively chatter turns into hushed whispers. People go back to making their morning coffee, side-eyeing each other in a way that’s not meant to be very subtle.
You quietly make your way to your desk, all the while feeling the nosy pairs of eyes on you as you walk. You don’t know how word got out, but you were sure that everyone would know eventually. You just didn’t expect it’d be this soon. Sohee would never do that to you, and you highly doubt that Taehyung would go around broadcasting his infidelity.
As you set your stuff down, you make eye contact with the new intern who sits a few spots away from you. You haven’t had the chance to talk to her much, but she’s a nice girl. She gives you a small smile in greeting, and even though you know she doesn’t mean to pity you, you can still see it in her eyes.
A minute later, Sohee comes up to you. “Hey, babe,” she says, leaning on your desk with two plastic cups in her hands. One iced latte and one mango smoothie. She puts the yellow-colored beverage down and nudges it toward you, a little lackluster and unlike her usual playful self.
“Thanks,” you say, taking the smoothie with a smile, commenting, “Interesting morning so far. Never thought I’d ever be the subject of office gossip.”
“Yeah, about that. Do you know who was Taehyung’s… uhm… y’know?”
It’s okay. She can say it. You can handle it.
You already feel nothing, and there’s nothing you can even do to rectify it. Might as well lean into it, right?
Or maybe you should just go to therapy.
“No,” you tell her. “I didn’t want to know.”
“Well, uhm, now that the whole office knows, I think you should hear this from me first…” Sohee bites her bottom lip as she gauges your reaction. When you only sigh and give her the go-ahead, she continues, “It was Yura from Marketing.”
“What?”
“Yura from Marketing. You know the one. Brought muffins for the whole office on her first day? A little too bubbly for my taste. But yeah, she was at work the other day and suddenly burst into tears at, like, 10AM, and that’s how everybody found out.”
Of course. Even though people here are surrounded by celebrity gossip on the daily, nothing beats the good old-fashioned office affair. Why bother with celebrity gossip when you have front row seats to live drama unfolding ten feet away?
You take a sip of your smoothie, swallowing down the inkling of irritation that tickles the back of your throat. “Well,” you say, “I’m glad the downfall of my relationship is like a circus animal for them to gawk at. Can’t wait until they move onto the next big thing.”
“Honestly, it might blow over sooner than you think. The Love Doctor is back today.”
“What?” Your ears perk up at the mention of his name, glancing up at her in surprise as you put your drink down. “Doesn’t he work at the Paris office?”
“He used to work here. We joined around the same time. Then he transferred to Paris a few years ago. Nobody even knows why. One day he just upped and left.”
“Why didn’t you tell me he’d be here? I didn’t have time t-”
“Calm down, sweetcheeks, I only just found out,” Sohee chuckles, holding a finger against your mouth to shush you. “We all know you used to have a major lady boner for him.”
“I do not.” You don’t even know what he looks like, just his name when it appears in the byline of an article. “I admire him.”
Which is true, you do admire him. He’s your own version of a freaking rockstar. Though, you have to admit that Love Doctor is a huge cliche of a nickname, and significantly reduces the scope of his brilliance. The way that man writes makes it seem like he’s experienced lifetimes and is now here to pass on his wisdom.
He doesn’t feel like a mere magazine writer like yourself. There’s something in his words that turns you inside out, makes you experience things that you’ve never even gone through. He flows like poetry, and leaves you stunned every time.
Okay, maybe you do have a lady boner, but for his brain.
Which… is probably something you should never say out loud.
Someone walks in then, a man you’ve never seen before. He looks around your age, if not a couple of years older. He bypasses all of the other desks without saying anything, not a single Hi or Good morning. He doesn’t look like the type to speak if not spoken to.
Then he walks over to where you and Sohee sit, and sets his bag on the empty desk next to yours.
You look at Sohee, and she just shrugs.
It can’t be him. Surely, it’s not…?
“Min Yoongi,” she says in greeting.
Oh, it is.
He spares her a nod before he looks away again. “Sohee.”
Is that the Parisian way? Is that how people normally greet someone they haven’t seen in years? Sohee and him were only colleagues, but still, the least you could do is pretend.
You’re not one to judge a book by its cover, but c’mon, seriously? Were you wrong for expecting the person who writes about love in its most raw and beautiful form to look… not like Grumpy Cat personified? It makes you even more fucking intimidated. And he’s going to be sitting next to you? The fuck?
As he sits down, you blink, still a bit dazed, not sure how to process this. Sohee gently pushes you forward, which makes you nearly stumble right into him. You turn to her with a glare, but she just motions to him, mouthing ‘Go on.’
You clear your throat, wiping your hand on your pants before you hold it out. “Hi, I’m Y/N. It’s so nice to finally meet you,” you say, trying to sound as professional as you can. “I’m really looking forward to working with you.”
He glances at you, and reaches out to meet your outstretched hand in a barely-there handshake. “Yoongi.”
— all rights reserved © jeonqkooks. reposting, translating and/or modifying is not permitted by any means. [posted 07.05.2023]
#yoongi x reader#yoongi fluff#yoongi smut#yoongi angst#yoongi x you#yoongi fanfic#yoongi imagines#bts x reader#bts x you#bts fluff#bts smut#bts angst#bts scenarios#bangtanbathhouse#bangtantheatrenet#btshoneyhive#52hertz#fic: isn't it romantic?#yoongi#bts
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