#but i wanted to make it extremely close to their canon voices for a reason

[qoldenskies]

Gonna be totally honest here. I tried to read caged lungs. Emphasis on TRIED. I got to, like, the part where Raph asks Donnie to undo the changes to his weights and I couldn't read past that. IT'S SO WELL WRITEN, IT'S SO WELL WRITEN THAT I CANNOT PHYSICALLY READ IT. IT'S SO PAINFUL UGH, YOU'RE A MASTER OF YOUR CRAFT.

And that's why I've been just. reading your answers to asks because it spoils the fic to me. BECAUSE I'M SO CURIOUS BUT I CANNOT READ IT FOR THE LIFE OF ME. I'm just, like, hopping onto the comfort like a coward :D

This is in no way /neg I hope you know; it's extremely /pos because wow, this has never happened to me before. Normally I can read angst just fine, BUT GOLLY THIS KICKED MY HEART AND I'LL ONLY RECOVER IF I JUST READ YOUR ASKS INSTEAD KSHDKHD. Keep up the amazing absolutly marvellous job, have a great rest of your day! 🫶🏻🫶🏻

oh my god yeah if that's too much for you, i really do not recommend trying to brute force your way through it because it culminates in a really upsetting murder attempt (like. it is essentially a foxhunt. leo pins him down and stabs him while he screams for his dad. he begs raph not to kill him. they talk to him like they would any villain in the show, with this callous disregard for the fact that he is starving and sobbing and begging for his life.) and on a more emotional verbal/psychological abuse levels there's things like the FAMILY MEETING which is genuinely just...... horrific lmfao, it gets Nasty (although personally i find the weight rack scene more upsetting because its so much more grounded to reality, i can FEEL the shame oooh man)

i am a little sad that there are people who read CW and not CL because i think CL is my favorite thing that i've ever written so far, but i completely understand if its difficult to stomach. you can probably pick everything up through context clues (especially if you've also read ME) if you think CL is too much for you!! id write a summary to help, but lol CL is just a collection of scenes and there are some things that are better not clarified/revealed later down the line. reading asks here might help though, yeah!!

[varyajc]

UNHEALTHY BEHAVIORS(?) THE HASHIRA HAVE

Pillars x GN!Reader

a/n; Friendly reminder that this is how I view them. None of the things below are canon or hating on their character. I’d also like to add; I don’t know what to make the title, so I’m making it unhealthy behaviors. Some may be healthy, some may not, so ignore the title and enjoy these headcanons (?)

warnings; unintentional gaslight / intentional gaslighting, toxic behaviors / habits, angst(ish), toxic relationships(?)

bold words = unhealthy behaviors

GIYU TOMIOKA

~He has extreme depression episodes to the point he doesn’t want to see you, in order to prevent you from getting hurt.

Tomioka loves you, he really does. However, in order to prevent him from hurting your feelings (or hurting you in general) he distances himself whenever things get slightly bad. He thinks he’s a disease and doesn’t want to affect you in away way, so he does it in the worst way possible; not talking with you.

~He ghosts you unintentionally

This is similar to the first one, however, he does it whenever he’s feeling better, but still feels guilty for not interacting with you. He doesn’t speak with you, avoids you like the plague, sometimes doesn’t attend Hashira meetings in order to avoid you. After a few months, he goes back to you like nothing had happened. This ended up the relationship forming between the two of you to die out.

SHINOBU KOCHO

~She’s really rude to you for no “apparent” reason.

When the two of you started your relationship, you knew she masks her hostility with a soft smile. She didn’t feel the need to mask her true self around you. However, she can be rude to you for no reason or that something is bothering her. Sure, she’s a mature person, but even mature people can be petty. She doesn’t tell you what’s wrong and even sometimes blames it on you.

~She doesn’t take your concerns seriously.

This applies to her consuming poison. You worry for her health, obviously voicing your concerns. However, she brushes it off like it’s nothing. You guys had numerous arguments because of this subject.

KYOJURO RENGOKU

~He’s too pushy

Whenever you need comfort, he tends to give advice that would more likely help his situation rather than your own. He doesn’t understand why you won’t take it, he tends to get upset because you don’t ’trust him.’

~Too positive

He always tries to find the bright-side of the situation. For example: whenever somebody you’re close with passes or gets severely injured, he always tries to find positive energy of the situation. Which, understandably, makes you upset. He doesn’t mean it, yet he can’t help it in a way?

TENGEN UZUI

~He gets upset when things don’t go his way

Now, I’m not saying this man is a child, but I do sometimes see him getting upset over things that aren’t important. Like, choosing where the five of you get to eat, who’s choosing the dress, etc. He just finds it somewhat degrading..in a way. Like, he’s the man, of course he should have the final say in everything. (Sarcasm)

~His mood determines everybody’s moods

Whenever he’s angry, everybody else’s mood is suddenly down. The air is extremely palpable.

MITSURI KANROJI

~Overthinks, a lot. This sweet angel, known as Mitsuri, tends to overthink a lot. She knows you’ll never cheat on her or betray her in anyway, but she still can’t help that you have eyes for somebody else or wants to pursue someone else. You have reassured her many times that your eyes are on her and her only, but she still has doubts and it just won’t go away. She wants it to go away, but it simply can’t. These doubts in her mind made her somewhat self-conscious.

~Unintentionally guilt-trips you.

Mitsuri tends not to watch her wording or how it’s phrased, so she’ll often say things like, “I’m sorry, I’m such a screw-up, I ruin everything.” However, I don’t think she’ll word it like that, but it’s something along those lines. She doesn’t mean too, but it just slips out, like word vomit.

OBANAI IGURO

~Is extremely controlling, jealous, and manipulative + it’s all intentional

This man right here, knows you better than anybody else, he KNOWS how to get into your head and make you rethink everything. “You’re crazy, I never said that!” Or something along those lines. He always twists things into thinking you did something wrong instead of him.

~He twists your words often

Despite Obanai’s tough demeanor, he actually takes everything bad you say about him to heart. He often uses it against you or make it sound worse than it already is.

SANEMI SHINAZUGAWA

~Extremely possessive

Unlike Obanai, this man knows you can’t and won’t find somebody better than him. However, he still likes to claim his territory? I guess you can say. Whenever you’re out and about with friends, he’s calling you like something happened, and when you rush over to his side, he always repeats “Oh, I just wanted to spend some time with you, baby.”

~He can’t open up

Sanemi is NEVER willing to open up to you, no matter how much you try to persuade him. He pushes you away, and, sometimes, yells at you for trying to persuade him. He doesn’t mean it, I think, however, he finds it offensive that he needs to open up.

a/n; UGH. I didn’t do Muichiro + Gyomei because this an an 18+ reader and I dunno how to write for Gyomei..so. Yh! Anyways, I hope you enjoy.

@varya-jc — DO NOT TRANSLATE, REPOST, OR CLAIM MY CONTENT AS YOUR OWN! YOU WILL GET BLOCKED AND REPORTED. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

[scivors]

Andre Nikto head canons

We have little information about Niko but here's what I've gathered..

((Also I'd like to kindly add, hi, hello, my name is Mika and I am a Bosnian. The chances of me adding some accurate slav head canons are always high but never low!!🙏🏻 ALSO IM TERRIBLY OBSESSED WITH NIKTO SO IF ENJOY THIS AND YOU WANT DATING NIKTO HEAD CANONS PLEASE LET ME KNOWWW))

Genuine head canons:

Andre Nikto (Никто) is a (scary) Russian military man, roughly 193/194 centimetres (when you compare him to Simon's height) He suffers with acute dissociative disorder (better said DID) yet is still serving the military cause of how he preforms during battle.., so the military still views him as a ideal soldier for combat despite his disorder..

No hate but from what I've seen in some art works claiming it's his "face reveal" you people have to understand that under his mask, his face is disfigured.. so, no he won't be an attractive super model under that mask of his..

I don't think you people are aware how badass Nikto is as a character, almost SIMILAR as Ghost who's in the military for the same reason as everybody else, to risk their life.

Although judging by Nikto's voice lines, he doesn't care who he's killing..if it were up to him, if his teammates serve him zero purpose he'd care less if they die..(after all, you're just a target..) but being a professional, he can't allow that to happen to his teammates

If you look up closely, Nikto wears a military uniform that is different from everyone else with MP-0 written on it. Now if you don't know, MP stands for Military Police (enforcement agencies connected with, or part of, the military of a state.) and zero next to it meaning "nothing" and this is important which is what Nikto refers himself as..

Yeah so about that..

I have a theory about Nikto's nickname

After being captured and brutally tortured with whatever sick tendency mister Z had in store for him. It was Mister Z that couldn't really get much Information about Andre.

They would start torturing him while repeating to Andre that he's nothing, he's no one, what he is is nothing but what he is is everything. Those words play in the back of his head and they never seen to go away.

(This is extremely relevant cause Mister Z tried to get to know a bit of Andre by looking through some research come to find his citizenship and language are censored making him a nobody. Keep in mind, if he found any information about Andre viewing from personal life etc. it will be used as blackmail..)

After recovering his scars and taken to therapy after 7 years he was diagnosed with DID

NOW moving on to the DID part

(What I said about the fact that people overlook Nikto's disorder, I mean it..

Some don't really write about his disorder which is fine but when someone does it gets messy. )

Alters aren't easy to deal with, it's actually gonna haunt you till the day that you die cause there's no cure for it. And in Nikto's case it's from PTSD and Nikto is very aware of his alters..

Let me tell you how Nikto's disorder affects him. Switching can be consensual, forced or triggered, Nikto values silence as much as the next person cause he's dealing with much inside his head already. The kind of guy that would "watch TV" while dissociating with a 100 yard glare with very slow blinking and a slight headache..

There are times where his personalities would correct him when hes referring to himself (example: I'm up..(his personality correctes him) WE'RE up..)

"He made us do this" (and other voice lines I can't recall..)

Maybe cut bits of an apple with a knife and eat it while watching TV..

He has medication prescribed for him but he didn't wanna depend on medications cause they're just drugs..they're nothing to him but just drugs..

He has dissociative amnesia too, sometimes he would wander around confused maybe even annoyed. The amnesia appears to be caused by traumatic or stressful experiences endured or witnessed..Although the forgotten information may be inaccessible to consciousness, it sometimes continues to influence behavior

Like I said he likes quiet people, someone who doesn't waste their air on small talk..

Example; don't really talk to him about the weather, unless you have something interesting to say but if the conversation is gonna go nowhere , don't talk..he finds that a waste of time

People assume just because he's Russian that he likes vodka, he doesn't like vodka...-He doesn't like any alcoholic beverage cause it makes his problems a lot worse,...maybe If you were lending him some as an offering, he'll take it but he has SOME self control, he's okay with coffee, though..

It's relevant cause he stays awake at late hours since he finds it difficult to sleep, he'll stay up late with no music, nothing, just a silent room. It doesn't matter if he tries the military tactic where you just close your eyes and turn off your thoughts, it's very different when you have voices screaming inside your head...

Despite everything he's still intelligent, so being smart + strength + sharp reflexes and you got yourself a criminal

Death doesn't phase him, but to him death is like sleeping, he's not scared of death considering that he's been through hell those past few months.

He likes the simple things, don't complicate anything..because he's quick with catching an attitude..be blunt and forward and stumble over your words..

Nikto shows confidence in the battlefield,just like König, except he has a high rush of adrenaline and will laugh at the enemies death.

Fun fact: in this one comic Price calls Nikto "psycho"

And it's without a doubt that he is one.., a sadistic, sociopathic, psychopath

After splitting, his alters can and will get more aggressive and do more harm and damage to others cause they're doing the most at protecting the host.. (depending on the alter, some wanna protect him while some wanna hurt him)

Oh by the way about the intelligence part, I mean he has a good good memory with remembering faces..

He doesn't like people looking at him funny, he'll get angry really fast and annoyed at the same time.., he won't show hesitation when it comes to approaching you and asking you what are you looking at (it's like trying to avoid eye contact with a homeless man Infront of a store, that's how scared you would be)

He's slow with jokes or any form of humor that you throw at him??? You'll be excited to tell him a joke, and when you do he just looks at you and tells you never to do that again..,or just straight up tell you he doesn't get it...??? and probably trying to explain it either he gets it or not he'll still tell you that it's not funny

He doesn't argue, or he does? Arguing with him will costs you avoiding getting objects thrown at you so you can get out of his sight..tragic, now you have a teammate that hates your guts and won't apologize for it.

[dropoutconfessions]

It makes me incredibly angry when people say "Riz is canonically aro/ace" and act like you're a horrible person if you ship him with people. Like. Nowhere in the show is it ever stated that he's aro/ace. The conversation people reference as him being "canonically" aro/ace is just him expressing his lack of very specifically sexual attraction, and even then the response from his dad (and by extension Brennan and the show as a whole) is that it's okay, and that it's specifically unclear whether he's ace or whether it's just not something that's happened for him in specific yet. It is intentionally vague as to whether he is ace or not, and there's genuinely zero indication in the show that he's aro other than that he doesn't have a love interest which could be completely unrelated.

Right so I'd like to share my opinion on this for a brief moment. I am still fully here to give people a voice, but this is just, an issue that kinda hits close to home since I'm demiaro.

The most annoying thing in a lot of media is when representation is shoehorned in as a list of labels and buzzwords we're given. Queer people should not have to turn to the screen and say their full identity in order for them to be canonically queer. That's what subtext is for. That's what good writing does. Is not spell it out for you when it's not necessary to do so. They do not need it to be spelt out for it to be very clear that he's ace/aro.

I am going to assume ignorance here instead of assuming malicious intent. The idea that the reason he isn't ace, is because "it's not something that's happened for him in specific yet", is an extremely common thought process behind asexual erasure. I'm sure that's not what you intended, but that is something to reflect on in general.

Both Adaine and Riz have yet to have relationships or display crushes (not counting junior year since most of the evidence comes from sophomore year) . Adaine hasn't gotten an entire nightmare sequence / arc around dealing with here friends all finding partners and leaving them alone. Adaine hasn't expressed or had conversations about any lack of sexual or romantic feels to the extent Riz has. Adaine is headcanoned as ace/aro by some people. Riz is more than that. Riz is very much canonically ace/aro if you do the slightest bit of character analysis. There's accidental coding and then there's Riz Gukgak.

List of every single Riz trait that is hella ace/aro coded

A lack of sexual and romantic attraction to other people (I'm not counting the time where he said he was kinda into Sexy Rat, that whole scene was a bit, and absolutely insane)

Making up a partner/crush in order to fit in (I have 1000% done that and so have a lot of acespec and arospec people)

A fear of being left behind by his friends because of a belief that they will find partners and move on from him, largely caused by alloromantic culture's insane emphasis on how the most important relationship is a romantic one

The fact that almost every other fantasy high pc has been in a relationship or a crush (kristen had tracker and gertie, gorgug had zelda, unit, and mary ann, fabian had aelwyn, ivy, and mazey, adaine had oisin and possibly zayn depends on your interpretation, and fig has had ayda and a string of professionals in a variety of fields across seasons 1 and 2) with only riz as a single character

The fact his sophomore year arc was entirely about his lack of sexual/romantic attraction and fear of being left alone because of it

Like not even a joke, it was that and his dad, that was the whole arc

His junior year arc was also about his obsession to stay together as a friend group, which like I mentioned above, is very clearly based in his asexuality and aromanticism

I am not going to stop people from shipping characters ever. If you want to rewrite character sexualities, that's fine by me, I'm a big believer in "Don't Like, Don't Read". I am not gonna pretend like characters are not their sexuality in canon so that people feel justified in writing their stories. People who rewrite character sexuality can do so without making everyone else assuage their guilt for them. I know I'm on the "piss on the poor" reading comprehension website, but it's not hard to tell Riz is ace/aro in canon, and pretending otherwise doesn't help your case.

[creampuffqueen]

We need more yangvik headcanons!

you're right we absolutely do. here's a random collection of headcanons about them separately and together <3

yangchen has a very phenomenal singing voice (which is kinda canon) but doesn't really recognize it

despite having lived in the earth kingdom for several years, kavik has an abysmal spice tolerance

since she has to spend so much time appearing formal for all her meetings and work, whenever yangchen gets away from that she sits in the weirdest positions possible. i'm talking backwards, upside down, you name it. she will not sit in a chair properly if she doesn't need to

again, already based of canon, but her sleep schedule is completely wild as well. she's wide awake at 2 a.m but falling asleep at her desk at 4 p.m. she goes through periods of being basically nocturnal. and periods of not sleeping whatsoever

conversely, kavik is a very deep sleeper, and not a morning person in the slightest. he can wake up early if he has to, but will do so with a high amount of complaining

yangchen is extremely competitive, especially in regards to physical sports/games (airball captain, anyone?) when she's in the zone it's kind of scary honestly

kavik and yangchen are very close in height. during the events of the books kavik is slightly taller, but at some point afterwards yangchen has a late growth spurt and ends up being just barely taller. she never lets him forget this

the two of them are honestly just. huge fucking nerds. kavik is a math nerd, yangchen is a history/politics nerd, together they can nerd out for hours, and frequently do

before they actually get together they have a bit of an unspoken arrangement of occasionally falling asleep together. it happens by accident a few times while working late, and both enjoy it way more than they want to let on. it begins to happen more frequently, especially as they subtly begin to recognize how yangchen has less nightmares whenever it happens

it takes yangchen quite a bit to start recognizing her feelings for kavik. both because of her trust issues and also because she hasn't ever really had a close friend like him before, and isn't sure what kind of feelings constitute as romantic vs. platonic

continuing the above, i also headcanon yangchen as being both demisexual and aroflux. for those unfamiliar with the terms, demisexual is where someone needs a strong emotional bond with someone before their feelings can develop further, and aroflux is a romantic orientation where someone's ability to feel romantic attraction fluctuates. (at least, i hope that's a good definition of those terms; these are not my personal identities so i've had to do a bit of research on them). all that to pretty much say yangchen has a bit of a complex relationship with romantic feelings

though despite this i do consider yangchen and kavik's relationship to be explicitly romantic. regardless of how yangchen feels on the daily about romance, they have a really deep, caring bond that is always there

both of their favorite colors are blue! yangchen really likes a deep ocean blue (the color of kavik's eyes) while kavik prefers a lighter sky blue (the color of yangchen's tattoos)

^^^^^ seriously they're so obsessed with each other

as much as they love just making out whenever they have the chance, i also think they both have a lot of love for non-lip kisses too. kavik always loves to kiss her forehead and eyelids, and loves when she kisses his chin/jaw. yangchen loves to kiss his shoulders and hands, and loves when he kisses her wrists

and last but not least, a couple of my sort of... distant future headcanons? i guess?

personally i don't see either of them wanting/having kids, for all kinds of reasons

also i know that it was "confirmed" that yangchen lives to 155, but that is something i will never, ever, accept or believe. i've already posted about how it was a stupid fan theory, and unfortunately said stupid fan theory became "canon" for some reason. (again, not accepting it). not only does it do a huge disservice to yangchen's character, it also doesn't even make sense within the wider atla timeline or universe. believe whatever you want, but i will be out here believing that yangchen lives to a solid but normal age, somewhere in her 80s-90s

again, everything in this post is just a headcanon, so feel free to accept/reject as many or as few as you'd like! it's all just for fun, really. thank you so much for the ask, i hope you enjoy!

[solarenchanting]

𝐝𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐡 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐨𝐧𝐞 (𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐧 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬)

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐧𝐞 ⸻ 𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐚𝐥

pairing: getō suguru x fem!reader

summary: denial ⸻ the unwillingness to accept something unpleasant is true.

tw/cw: descriptions of a dead body on an autopsy table.

note: third-year!suguru. suguru and reader were in an established relationship. haibara yū’s is already dead as in canon (BUT don't ask me about the tl in this). extremely vague mentions of the star plasma vessel mission. small satosugu moment. ooc!suguru (?).

a/n: firstly, it's officially three months since i posted my first getō suguru fic ( it'll pass ) and debuted as a fic writer (a milestone, i fear). but i do dedicate this mini fic series to myself 😅. secondly, i apologise for any inconsistencies, spelling or grammatical errors in this fic. as well as any misrepresentations of the characters involved (please do not perceive me 🥲 this is just my interpretation and exploration outside of the canon material). thirdly, i know the last few parts doesn't focus on the feeling of denial. and lastly, as always, much love from me to you <3

(fun fact: it's 01:54 am and i wrote this while listening to “speak softly, love” by david davidson)

edit: re-read this, and i realised that i used the word “pale” — please know that it has nothing to do with the readerʼs skin colour, just for a description for the current state the readerʼs body is in (also, i'm paranoid and don't want any misunderstandings 🥲)

the coldness pierced through suguru’s skin, seeping through the narrow pathways of his veins—freezing his blood. the fine, black hairs of his body rose to life, standing upright and sturdy. trails of never-ending goosebumps formed over and over. icy chills travelled down his spine, but his body remained rigid.

the soles of his feet were stuck onto the marble floor. he lost all mobility. a simple, thoughtless action couldn’t be comprehended in his mind. he couldn’t place one foot forward, couldn’t take a step back. yet, his legs trembled, nipped at by the cold air. almost as if they were begging, itching, to make a move—to walk.

his arms lay by his sides with his hands trembling. his fingers quivered and flexed, disturbing the dust particles that danced and circled in the air. it was reflexive—his senses heightened to recoil at any sensation grazing his skin.

his lips were parted, chapped and dry, yet nothing came out of him. words were caught in his throat, lodged and cemented. whatever he wanted to say, wished he could say, had transformed itself into the lump that was too stubborn to be swallowed down—a cruel manifestation of a betrayal of his body.

for his mind… his mind had not caught up to him—to it—just yet.

this was nothing but a fictitious, distorted scene. a tableau of a nightmare, one that he couldn’t wake up from for some reason. a sick and twisted fantasy that his subconscious decided to manipulate him—holding him by the control brace with no intention of letting go. the strings attached to his limbs were still, forcing him to stand there.

his eyes, once a bright violet filled with life, had become dull and dim ever since that grim mission—ever since witnessing the hideous evils of his world.

now, however, they were dark—staring at the sight before him.

you.

eyes closed, lashes brushing your cheeks like whispers of a memory. your lips were pursed, unmoving—silent forever. and the skin of your face, rigid and pale, and mottled with purplish-red blotches where gravity had taken its toll, forever replacing the warmth.

your body lay still on the cold and unfeeling stainless steel on the autopsy table, bathed under the harsh fluorescent lighting. your arms rested limply by your side, as if frozen in mid-reach. and your chest, once rising and falling, was unnervingly still.

the chill of the morgue hung heavy in the air, sharp and suffocating.

suguru’s mind screamed, distorted voices ricocheting through the silence of his paralysis, trying to slice through the fragile walls of denial—but he wasn’t listening. he refused to. it was all poisonous lies, trying drag him deeper into the black hole that had already swallowed him down.

flashes of memories erupted behind his tired eyes—vivid and haunting—each one a desperate attempt to rewrite the truth, to convince him that this wasn’t real. there was no way that you, of all people, you—

no—it can’t be.

it shouldn’t be. it couldn’t be. it wasn’t supposed to be—

but how?

how did he—how did you end up like this?

you—you were just with him earlier this morning. standing in front of his dorm door, staring at him with those beautiful eyes—the ones he could lose himself in forever while you’d ramble on about anything and everything. the ones he hated to see narrow in anger at him, or worse, brim with unshed tears—eyes that shouldn’t be closed.

and—and you were smiling. yes, you were smiling at him! you standing right there—in front of him—at his dorm room. why again? oh, that’s right! you wanted to check up on him before you left for your mission. the higher-ups sent you out.

that’s it. that’s what happened.

and he kissed you. god, he kissed you. he cupped your cheeks—the home of countless soft pecks his lips had peppered with. a sanctuary for tender caresses with the back of his finger while he admired you. he could still feel the warmth of your flesh, the gentle press of his thumbs against them.

your lips were soft—always curved into a smile. a smile that melted his heart, one that made it swell with pride when he knew he was the reason behind it. lips that clenched his heart whenever they fell and twisted into a frown. lips that made him ache whenever the lower one wobbled, with sharp, ragged hiccups escaping them like broken pleas.

but now—now, he’d rather have you here, standing in front of him. even if the sight hurt him, even if you were sobbing and hiccuping. he’d take your narrowed eyes filled with anger—hell, resentment even.

but not—not whatever this was.

you didn’t belong here—not in this cold, sterile place that reeked of antiseptic and death.

he felt the same helplessness he’d felt before—the sound of their clapping echoing in the back of his mind. a painful memory that refused to fade—the same weight pressing on his chest, his ribs caving in and crushing the air from his lungs.

only this time, it worse.

this time, it was you.

you had become another body he’d have to run past in this endless marathon—where countless sorcerers, friends and allies, lay scattered and bloodied along the track behind him. their deaths—your death—in vain. meanwhile, he was running out of breath, chasing a finishing line that kept moving, desperately trying to fulfill the duty of a jujutsu sorcerer.

and for whom?

a rustling noise cut through his thoughts. in that moment, he remembered, he wasn’t alone. his sullen eyes trailed up, fixing on the figure standing in the morgue with him.

satoru.

he was standing on the opposite side of the autopsy table. his fingers delicately curling along the edge of the thin, white blanket. with gentle movements, he pulled it over your body—covering you completely, save for your feet sticking out at the bottom—before returning his hands to his side.

fate was fickle, placing them in this position.

for they had been here before—seen each other like this already.

satoru’s expression was unreadable, devoid of any emotion. his gaze remained fixed on the blanket, as if he was staring at your face through it.

when he lift his head, suguru’s breath hitched, coming in a short, shallow gasp as he saw those dull and gloomy blue eyes staring back at him once more.

satoru didn’t say anything this time, because he didn’t need to.

despite himself, in the back of his mind, suguru knew.

he knew he was late.

NEXT

[hopalongfairywren]

HElllo hi i heard you were willing to ramble about egg lore? (<- knows nothing about egg lore but somehow ended up writing a fic about the egg and i need to pay for my sins)

Oh boy. Where do we fucking BEGIN! (This answer will be late and probably go on so many side tangents) Alright, so I'm just gonna recap the "smaller" events leading up to and surrounding the early part of the egg lore first. The Egg arc was so long I could probably make several long posts JUST for recapping the general events that happened in roughly chronological order as well as important tidbits to the egg lore. That's assuming either the ADHD spurred motivation fuel I'm running on while writing this doesn't dry up, or that I get the kind of motivation to write more posts this long from other asks like this. I'll also try to do more seperate posts on the more lore analysis-y side of the egg arc. So like how the egg's story was impacted on a more meta scale by the way the dsmp's story over all was being played out at the time by its' creators, the implications of its existance in both dsmp fanon and canon... IF I'm motivated to that is.

The Egg arc began when c!Badboyhalo found the "egg" in his statue room, which he was digging out to make way from the Dreamon Hunters (totally different lore plot, but that's for another niche dsmpblr blog) He soon showed it to c!Sam and c!Dream, and for context those two had been terraforming a part of the SMP close by the Badlands and therefore the statue room in order for Sam to complete the giant mega prison Dream had hired him to construct.

Bad was immediately drawn to the "egg" (which was called that because of it's shape and not because at that point it was confirmed the thing was an egg), where as both Dream and Sam were immediately weirded out by Bad's sudden affinity for it and the own bad vibes it gave off to both of them. Shortly after leaving the statue room, they spotted red vines growing by first by Hutt's Pizza - and then shortly after at Bad and Skeppy's mansion. This was extra concerning because they reasoned no player could have spread those growths up there on the surface, to those two different locations, in the time they were all down in the cave. This creeped Dream out enough he tried to manually remove the growth at the pizza place. This caused Bad to become agressive and he attacked Dream for 'hurting it', reasoning that the vines were beautiful. And it spread even more rapidly after that, with red vines being spotted growing around Jschlatt's grave, even on the Power Tower in L'manberg. Bad became even more attached to the egg and it's various offshoots, even nicknaming the egg "baby".

At this point most people on the server who interacted with the egg were, understandably were uncomfortable with the rapid spread of the vines and Bad's weird devotion to it. (Execptions to that being c!Puffy, c!Ponk and c!Antfrost who agreed with him) Bad and Ant eventually both started hearing voices from the egg, commanding them to spread the vines even further, while Puffy also started exhibiting the extreme fawning and obsession over the egg at that point. (She nicknamed it Eggy) Bad and Ant actively started spreading the vines; at c!Punz's tower and Sam's base. They also started urging other people to follow them back to where the Egg's main structure was, presumably in order to persuade more people over to becoming obsessed with said Egg. Sam tried putting a stop to this by trying to move the egg's structure physically, but he was stopped by Bad and Ant. The conflict was broken up when Punz came over, and remarked that he found the egg strange but "ultimately harmless." (Punz later elaborated that he was actually neutral on the egg and leaning towards viewing it as a potential threat, but to avoid direct conflict just wanted to see how everything would unfold. He also refused a proposal from Sam to fight Bad and Ant should the need arise.) Ponk was yet another case of someone initially opposing the egg but coming to view it favoriably. He had seemingly mixed opinions for a while, admiring the beauty of the vines but also being creeped out by the degree of devotion Bad, Ant and Puffy were showing to the egg over all. Ponk Eventually went to visit the Egg's main room and actually touched it. Like Bad and Ant, he reported hearing the egg make audible noises. Unlike Sam and Ant, he did not apperantly hear distinct words but rather "growling". Overtime, Ponk started referring to the egg as beautiful as well. Also he too began pushing for Sam to "join the egg" Leaving off here, with the next post (if it happens) being on the canonical timeline of events leading to most of the egg's followers disinfecting at that point, until probably the establishment of the proper eggpire. And then the red banquet of course gets it's own special post.

[arrowfleur]

“What was that for?”

Some more thoughts on Darlin’s love languages and Sam’s HBS. Part 2 headcanons yay!

@darlin-collins <3

Darlin feels like they are never close enough to Sam, they will be laid directly on top of him and still trying to figure out ways to get closer

Sam, although quite outwardly stoic, does not only use his ‘pretty prose’ on Darlin’ (although they get the most and the best ones). Since his turning he is so aware of how short life can be and when he truly admires something about a person he’ll let them know.

This is usually with close pack/clan and also always when he’s just on his own with the person he’s talking too. But, if the timings right, he lets out these poetic observations, usually leaving the other person speechless before he quickly changes the topic. Not always realising the (positive) weight of his compliments.

On multiple occasions Sam has used words to describe Darlin that they didn’t know. Not because they’re dumb but because some of his vocabulary is rather niche. And upon looking it up they almost always perfectly describe Darlin’ in whatever situation he was talking about.

Although not the best at giving compliments, Darlin’ does tell Sam that he’s beautiful, gorgeous etc depending on the vibe he’s giving at the time and they’re the first person to ever call him anything other than handsome or hot.

‘You’re so pretty’

‘Pretty?!?’

‘Mhmm’

‘Darlin’ I ain’t-‘

‘Especially right now, with your hair like that’

‘Alright…. Well, thank you.’

I’ve mentioned before in a head canon post that they like it when Sam runs a finger up and down the bridge of their nose. Darlin’ will also full on nuzzle into Sam when cuddling/hugging. Especially into his collarbone/neck

Although comfortable with (platonic) touch from people they know, Darlin doesn’t like it unexpectedly, nor will they usually initiate it.

Unless someone they love is upset, then they’ll be getting a hug or an arm wrapped around them without any hesitation (if that’s what they like ofc)

Sam feels like he’ll never be able to fully voice how much Darlin’ means to him, Darlin’s heart practically skips a beat when he simply calls them beautiful. (Or when he makes a joke or complains or laughs or….)

When comforting Darlin’ about something, Sam often adresses problems/reasons for their behaviour/feelings that Darlin’ hadn’t realised themselves yet. He is so careful with his wording and extremely observant of them.

Darlin’ although previously independent to a fault, realised that the best comfort they could give Sam was to let him help them. On multiple occasions Darlin’ has let him heal paper-cuts and small bruises (which is a ridiculous waste of magic in their opinion) because otherwise he’s not going to stop thinking about it.

Sam knows all of Darlin’s tells by their body language and Darlin’ know Sam’s by his tone and the amount he’s speaking for example: if he says he’s ‘fine’ then he’s not but if he says he’s ‘alright’ then he probably is

The same way Sam felt bad about not being able to give Darlin every physical action that they wanted Darlin feels bad that they can’t verbalise their feelings for him correctly.

Sam found a scrunched up love letter from Darlin’ and keeps it in his wallet. They’d wanted to write down their feelings so they wouldn’t mess it up when sharing them with him but ultimately hated the end result.

They do however leave little notes for him sometimes while he’s sleeping , since they tend to work on different schedules, that Sam also dearly treasures and keeps in a shoe box.

Sam is really good at writing professional emails and has on multiple occasions written some for Angel and Babe when they’ve had problems with their bosses

The perfect mix of polite, professional and passive aggressive

Another way Darlin’ helps Sam is by reminding him of his talents/abilities and how he uses them for so much good, they will not let that man be humble. His #1 cheerleader FR.

Even with all of this in mind both of their most comfortable ways of communicating their love is through acts of service. That way they get to keep up their grumpy outward personas that the pack/clan have long since learned to see right through.

[killcodesashes]

[QUICK RANT ABOUT QUEER REPRESENTATION IN TSAMS/TSBS SHOWS]

[As a genderfluid aroace person myself.]

TSAMS

Uh. I don't like it. Aroace Moon? Cool. Absolutely valid, we love him for that. Wasn't adressed much except in a few episodes which are pretty good, I liked the one where he rejects Foxy a lot!

But recently- g e e z. I understand wanting to bait people in with ships people want! Specifically KidsCove. Same in tmgafs! But the problem is that they do it not just to tease/mess around with the viewers in good fun, they genuinely seem to hate the shippers and actually want to make fun of them? Not just with kidscove but with any other ship that isn't canon. They don't even want to confirm Sun's sexuality, just constantly making it a gag that he has a bisexual flag in his room. Which as a queer person? It's just annoying. Just really annoying ? Please all we want is a confirmation or something? We want queer characters we can actually relate to. And we don't really get that :( Then New Moon came along and said it was possible he wasn't aroace. . . And then they never mentioned it again. So why mention it in the first place ? I don't think I would've minded it if he had just changed how much attraction he felt but was STILL aroace/on the aroace spectrum. As long as it was actually clarified. But they seemed eager to rush to his evil era so they didn't bother to close to any lose ends before hand, though I guess being aroace might've just not been as relevant.

On a bit of a side note- Ruin feels very gay coded. Very gay. There is no way he's straight T.T he's a villain but he's a zesty man and we absolutely adore him for that!!

That was probably an accident, though. Every theatre kid seems gay! /lhj

Just overall upsets me that the VAs seem to act offended by the mere idea of shipping characters? As if that's not a common/vital part of every fandom.

[OTHER SHOWS UNDER THE CUT]

TMGAFS

Upsets me that they can't clarify Puppets identity or pronouns? [Or maybe they have recently but I genuinely doubt it]

Because who are they meant to actually represent ?? It's probably just me but I wish it was more clear or something. I appreciate the VA for trying I do though, absolutely love that guy[Foxy’s VA, genuinely seems to just be a chill guy. And I think it's really cool that he actually does roles that could come off very cringe, voicing most of the cringe dimension characters +struggling with Puppets voice for the longest time.] I just wanna know if Puppet is a trans fem queen or trans masc slay or just trans ? But nothing seems to be clarified.

Again with KidsCove? Genuinely just annoying how they blatantly just do it to make fun of the people who ship them and get views from them.

Foxy seemed to have been gay before his memory loss. Or was at the very least interested in men to an extent. But since he began to be the main character of a show he suddenly only likes women?? S u s. They really keep insisting he's extremely straight and genuinely just annoys me that they erased him being interested in men [Proved he liked men in the episode he asked Moon out.]

. . .now. . . M o n t y. As a genderfluid person? I hate them and literally feel more represented and seen by cis characters from other shows. For the longest time Monty being genderfluid wasn't even adressed and was usually just brought up for plot reasons or something? And it pissed me of that every time they correct a character on Monty's pronouns.. they immediately go back to using he/him pronouns. I think the new fem body is pretty neat! Though I think it would've been more interesting for Monty to stay masc but ACTUALLY get their right pronouns used and their identity getting genuinely respected DESPITE of their appearance. But the body? It's genuinely completely fine! /gen I used to hate my body too and understand that the writers might've thought it might be easier for people if they just used a different body completely! But it annoys me that my gender representation comes in the form of M o n t y. The annoying character known for constantly hating on others and partially destroying their lives. Anyone can be genderfluid, yes. But when the representation is so little? I just wish it was at least a bit better or with a less hateable character.

TLAES

Lunar! Uh. Again can we just get clarification on his sexuality? Is he polyamorous? Bisexual? Omnisexual? Just any clarification please?

Gemini! I wish they were canon nonbinary. They're literally stars. Why did they have to be gendereddd. Also curious about their 'sexuality'? Will also likely never get clarification on it :/

OTHER SHOWS/SIDE NOTES

Roxanne is canon lesbian and so is Glamrock Chica! I'm so sorry but I forgot his name T~T I think it was Tiger Rock[??] Is also canonically gay! Glam Chica has a girlfriend! And I do think their relationship is pretty cute [from what I've seen] and overall wish I would finally get to watching the show a bit more! Funtime Foxy feels very queer to me? Not just because his design is pink but his overall characterization! He does have a girlfriend! But he seems to be comfortable in his own identity and presentation from what I've seen? At least, it seems to be more comfortable than some o t h e r characters. I feel more represented by Funtime Foxy and Lolbit than I ever felt represented by Monty. But that is a personal opinion!

I overall have just lost interest in all of the shows. I'm tired of being constantly disappointed and lead on. But I do wish I could watch more of the other shows since they seem to show more love and care towards their characters :)

CLOSING THOUGHTS!

It's just shows. Does any of this really matter? I think it matters when the shows are claiming to have good representation when they really don't. And they're allowing people who aren't queer/a part of the LGBTQIA+ community to feel like they have the right to shut real queer people down. I've seen so much acephobia and overall homophobia even in this community. A l o t in this community. I wish the writers would listen to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE!! I wish the VIEWERS listened to ACTUAL QUEER PEOPLE.

That's what I really want. I just want to be heard and represented.

I don't claim this community. I CAN'T claim a community who is constantly against us.

LISTEN TO QUEER VOICES.

[lokisprettygirl]

My Love is mine, All mine (18+) (CEO! Daemon Targaryen x Female Reader) (Non Canon -Modern AU)

Read Chapter 4 here // Series Masterlist

Chapter 5 (Last)

Summary : You leave Daemon to protect him from your insecurities and to find some answers.

Warning: 18+, smut, insecurities, miscarriage , mention of abuse, smoking, extreme insecurities and trust issues, mention of infertility, reader has anxiety, mention of infidelity.

Note: I had plans to keep it short and for once I have succeeded as I didn't want to stretch the story unnecessarily. For once I have no idea what I'm going to write next but hopefully the inspiration will strike soon. Thank you to everyone who read and supported this story ❤️🙏🏻

Daemon never realized how loud he was being with his laptop keys whenever he was stressed out of his mind, you were living in one room apartment with him and the sound awakened you at times while he was working on a presentation late at night.

As you sat up on the bed and watched Daemon frantically typing away on his laptop, you couldn't help but notice his thick luscious disheveled hair, no doubt the result of running his fingers through them in frustration, a smile graced your features as it only made you want to pull him in bed and cuddle him.

As you got off the bed, Daemon turned his head to look at you, his eyes locking onto yours. He could see the love and concern in them,

"Did I wake you, my love?" he asked, his voice soft and filled with worry.

Without a word, you walked closer to him and stood behind his chair to massage his tensed shoulders.

The silk nightwear you had on made him want to make love to you right now but he couldn't afford it at the moment, he was looking for a sponsor and he was failing miserably, he had spent his life savings into building and developing this product and the only reason he wasn't living on the streets was because you were here with him, supporting him in every possible way. Feeding him when he forgot to do so, paying the rent when he couldn't contribute, holding onto him when he was giving up on himself.

He snapped out of his thoughts as your fingers trailed down from his shoulder to his forearms slowly, you leaned down to press soft kisses on his neck, your scent made him lean back into the crook of your neck, perhaps he could just calm down, just for a moment

“How long?” you whispered in his ear so he brought his hand up to caress the side of your head.

“I can't sleep darling” his voice came out gravelly, full of tiredness that you just wanted to take away

“Mmmm i know”

You mumbled as you walked around the chair and sat down on his lap as you kissed him passionately, his arms quickly wrapped around your waist, fingers roamed all over as he kissed you with equal intensity.

“Do you have five minutes?” You asked him so he chuckled in response.

“Five minutes huh?”

“Mmmhm I can make you cum in five minutes” his breath hitched as you mumbled in his ear.

At times he felt like a perv, a selfish arse, a beautiful, sweet, young girl like you deserved the world that he wasn't offering you at all but those thoughts vanished as quickly as they would come whenever he felt your loving touch on his skin.

“Do it please” he almost whined in your ears and you were quick to shove your hand inside his pants to grab his cock, all he could do after that was lean back into the chair with his eyes closed and enjoy the moment, enjoy the fact that even at his worst he was blessed with a woman who he knew would never leave his side, no matter what.

Daemon immediately picked up his phone to give you a call as he didn't find you anywhere, members of the staff told him that they saw you leaving with a packed luggage and his heartbeat sped up. Where would you go without telling him and why? Your phone wasn't reachable so he seeked Otto as he knew you must have used his services to go wherever you wanted to go. Otto informed him that you had asked him to drop you at the nearest airport, his heart sank as he heard that, why would you go somewhere without telling him? What were you doing?

He was worried, anxious and was becoming increasingly terrified with every passing second.

The feelings of fear, anger, and confusion washed over him, and he felt powerless, he couldn't do anything but wait for you to get in touch and explain, but then his eyes fell upon the note you had left on the closet door and he was already assuming the worst even before he had read it.

“I am not going anywhere where you can't find me love but I really hope you won't, not for now at least. Before you start worrying let me tell you that I am not leaving forever, and I'm not going to go anything that would hurt you or us, none of that, I just want to love you the way you love me but I have been failing lately.

Everytime I have looked at you in the past few weeks, my eyes held a sense of suspicion, and that's really not fair to you my sweet husband, you're the best man there ever could be, the greatest indeed and I want to be able to treat you like that. Want to show you how much I appreciate you in my life and how lucky I am to have someone like you who's all for me, I want to be able to believe that you're all for me Daemon because I can't go on like this forever, i can't keep hurting you this way when I'm so clouded by my insecurities.

I know you're going to be hurt with my decision and I'd deserve it if you choose to be angry with me and punish me however you see fit but I'll give you a call as soon as I reach there and i hope you'd want to hear my voice because I do, i have not even left the house yet but I already miss you and I am going to miss you terribly.

Pretty sure I'm about to lose my job, luckily you're not my boss ;)

Happy birthday baby, I love you so much even if my actions say otherwise at times, I really do love you alot.

Forever Your wifey”

His eyes welled up as he finished reading the note. He waited anxiously for his phone to ring but two hours had passed already and he was losing patience. He looked around the room and it just seemed hollow without you, that's how you must feel too when he was gone on those long business trips he thought but then he went away for work, while you went away to escape him. This decision of yours had made him worried about your relationship with him, what if the distance makes you realize that he wasn't enough for you?

Or that he was too much for you?

As his phone rang he quickly pressed it up to his ear and sat up on the bed. He wasn't able to speak, there was a lump in his throat that was making him unable to speak to you.

“Dae?” You mumbled softly and immediately heard him sniffling on the other side,

“Comeeee back please darling please come back” his voice came out in broken whispers and in that moment you absolutely hated yourself, more than you usually did anyways.

“I will Daemon, i am not gone forever, did you read my letter?” You asked him softly so he sniffled once more as he wiped his tears.

“I did..I don't understand it darling, aren't we supposed to deal with this thing together?” he asked you, through thick and thin he vowed to be there for you so he wasn't wrong.

“We are together” you told him and the anxiety he had been feeling lessened slightly.

“You promise?”

“I promise..you're stuck with me forever” he couldn't help but chuckle as you said that to him.

“I sure hope so..are you going to tell me where you are?”

“Mmmm in Heathrow..to see my father”

Daemon went quiet for a moment as you said that, you had not spoken to him since he had cheated and divorced your mother.

“Why?”

“To get answers to questions I have never dared to ask..he's the main reason why I am the way I am”

“There's nothing wrong with you my love, not a thing” your eyes welled up again as he said that. Daemon wasn't a reason for your Insecurities, not once in your relationship with him he had made you feel anything but loved thoroughly.

“I love you, you know that right?”

“Then come back to me as soon as you can” his voice was pleading and almost begging for you to return to him.

“I will..soon i promise”

He sighed as he laid down on the bed, he didn't want to overwhelm you, it wasn't like you to take such steps so he knew he'd have to give you time to figure this out on your own if that's what you wanted.

“You were right about her darling” your heart stopped for a second as he spoke.

“What?”

“She's into me” he got worried as you didn't say anything for a good few seconds but then you responded exactly how he had imagined.

“I knew it, that fucking bitchhhh…what did she do?” You asked him so he sighed and sat up again as he detailed everything that had happened after you had left the office party.

“The audacity, I just knew I couldn't trust her”

“She was drunk but that's not an excuse to speak wrongly of my wife” he mumbled softly.

“You defended me? She wasn't completely wrong you know” you told him as you knew how unfair you have been to him in the past few days with your constant suspicions.

“Hey darling? I love you but shut up please”

.. The next few days he was in touch with you via calls only, you didn't even allow him to see you on Skype as you feared it would break your resolve. At the firm Daemon had a difficult decision to make with Sheena, he had given her a notice period so she could look for another job, he was even willing to write a recommendation letter as he didn't want to be cruel. Since that night she hadn't really looked him in the eye, perhaps she was embarrassed, or it was the guilt but he didn't want to speak to her about this.

“Sir, may I say something?” Sheena mumbled as she put the files down on his desk.

“Don't say anything, you're only going to make it worse and you still have to work here for a week”

She looked down as if she was ashamed, she was going to say something but he wasn't interested so she turned around to leave..

As she left he picked up his phone to give you a call and you picked almost immediately.

“Calling me from work? Who are you?” You joked and it made him smile but then his eyes teared up because he missed you terribly, he missed your laugh, your kisses in the morning, he missed touching you not just sexually but in a way that affirmed to him that you did exist in his life and that you were all his.

“I'm calling because I know you won't be home when I go there” your smile faltered as well as he said that. You won't be there today, that was true, but you'd be there soon.

“I miss you alot, i think about you all the time”

“Even while you're showering?”

“Especially while I'm showering” he chuckled as you said that

“Did you see your father?”

“I saw him yes and I was right to come here”

“Did you get the answers you were looking for?”

“I got a few answers”

“And?”

“I need help–”

“I'm here sweetheart” your eyes teared up as he said that, always so kind and supportive and you had been taking this for granted.

“You can't help me baby..i love you so much and I don't want to ruin what we have” he sighed as you said that. If you had said something like that to him in person he'd have just wrapped his arms around you to comfort you but you weren't there.

“You can't..no matter what you do or say when you're not feeling so good, you can't ruin us…you can't make me unlove you…it's too late my sweet girl”

“God you're insufferable” you mumbled softly as tears made you unable to speak any further.

You wanted to go home, you wanted to hold onto your husband and never leave him again.

You still remembered the first time he was hit on by a woman right in front of your eyes, his business had begun to do well, he had bought this new apartment for you two where he had invited all the ten employees for a dinner party.

One of the guys had brought a female friend of his. As soon as she stepped into your home she had her eyes on him, you saw the immediate crush she had developed so quickly, now he wasn't just a genius or just another good looking man but he was also becoming richer everyday and women liked that alot.

But you were right there, right in front of your eyes that woman flirted with him and that's when you felt that first wave of insecurity coursing through you regarding your position in his life, even though he had shot down her advances immediately you felt scared, if they were willing to do it right in front of you then he must be facing such temptations all the time and you couldn't help but wonder how long he'd ignore it.

You had asked your father why he had chosen to cheat on your mother, and why he chose to ruin his marriage and leave his daughter behind. He gave you a short simple answer, something that you had hoped to hear, he told you that it wasn't your mother's fault, it was all him, he cheated because he wanted to and not because of something your mother had done to him that made him want to take that step. He knew the heartbreak it would cause but he went ahead with it anyway because he didn't care.

Your father was a different man, and so was Shelley's husband, Daemon wasn't like that, he'd never hurt you this way, he'd never go out of his way to break your heart.

The following night as Daemon reached home it was quiet, usually he'd hear the murmurs of the staff working but it was eerily quiet tonight, when he went upstairs he found you standing on the door wearing your sexiest nightwear.

He wanted to run to you and hug you but the way you looked at him made him stop in his tracks.

You bit on your lips as you looked at him from head to toe, he looked deadly on a given day but the all black suit he had on was your demise. You were going to seduce him, use your charm to apologize but you found yourself bewitched instead.

“Hiiii” you mumbled softly as you leaned against the door frame so he walked closer to you and placed his hands on the wall, trapping you between his body and the door. He wasn't saying anything, was just staring with an intensity that made you nervous and made you drip at the same time.

“You can be upset with me, you should be” you mumbled as you loosened his tie so he grabbed your hand to stop your movement before he turned you around and pressed you against the closed bedroom door flat on your stomach, next thing you knew your hands were tied using the same tie.

“Never again you hear me? You're not going to just take off without telling me first” he whispered in your ear before his lips latched onto your neck and he sucked a mark that you knew would last for days.

“Never again I promise..i promise” you could barely speak coherently because his fingers had reached under your dress already, fingers played with your clit mercilessly as he brought you closer to your release. It's been a while and you hadn't touched yourself in his absence, you wanted to wait and suffer for this very moment.

That night was eventful, he made you cum right against the door, then you sucked his cock like a whore while you told him how sorry you were and then he fucked you on the bed, his thrusts and words equally possesive, equally desperate.

When you woke up the next morning he didn't go to work, he stayed home all day with you and treated you like a queen, he apologized for being neglectful even though he wasn't.

You didn't come back home all fixed as if you never had any problem, far from it, but now you knew that you had a major problem and you knew you needed someone to tell you that, someone to hear you and someone to help you with your thoughts. You knew you needed therapy and you were determined to get it.

A few months later you were out shopping with Daemon for Christmas and perhaps it was just your luck but you bumped into Sheena, literally, you bumped right into her.

"I have been meaning to speak with you Mrs Targaryen" Sheena spoke to you so you looked at Daemon confused.

“I'll go look for that thing you keep asking about” he mumbled softly as he kissed you briefly so you gave him a smile and watched him walk away from you both.

“Mrs. Targaryen” she smiled as she spoke so you reverted it. You didn't want to be rude, there was no point anymore.

“Just call me y/n, he's not your boss anymore” you told her so she nodded

“I know you must not care but I really wanted to apologize” you crossed your arms as she said that.

“For hitting on my husband or for insulting me?”

Okay you couldn't help yourself.

“For both, I was..just jealous of you to be honest”

Your eyes narrowed as she said that, you were jealous of her, why on earth was she jealous of you?

“Why is that?”

“You seem to have it all, you have everything I have ever wanted but never had. I was out of line and it was just my jealousy speaking..nothing else” she looked down as she spoke before she continued “Daemon is a good man and anyone with eyes can see it but if he chose you then there must be a reason for that right? My life was in shambles at the time and i misspoke, i couldn't help but wonder why I couldn't be you and have a good job, a good husband, a perfect life”

You chuckled as she said that.

“My life is not perfect Sheena, nobody's is”

“I understand that, I just wanted to apologize because I feel guilty about what I had done, my stupidity caused me a job i really loved” you could tell that she was being genuine but you didn't want to entertain her further, therapy hadn't turned you into a saint. At the end of the day she was a woman that had tried to hit on your husband and you didn't want her anywhere around him or you for that matter.

“I'm sorry but you're capable of doing great things, don't be so hard on yourself”

As Daemon returned you gave Sheena one last smile and she mumbled a greeting before she walked away. You spent weeks feeling inferior to her and for what? She was insecure as well, even with all that she possessed she was insecure, her insecurities were different that yours but not any less debilitating.

“Are you alright baby?”

You looked at your gorgeous husband as he asked you and you couldn't help but smile. Lucky, you had gotten so lucky.

You were more than alright, you felt good, you felt happy, you felt perfect in that moment.

Because now you believed, deep down in your heart you knew that your love was yours. All yours.

❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Taglist

@anukulee @erebus-et-eigengrau @daenny-t @123forgottherest @mcufan72 @dixie-elocin @shuichiakainx @ammo23 @stupidthoughtsinwriting @avalyaaa

@powellssaturn @mariaelizabeth21-blog1

[dukeofdelirium]

This has to quite possibly be the dumbest Anti-Aang I’ve seen on Tumblr. “Aang didn’t go out of his way for anyone”. Like that’s objectively wrong, factually incorrect. Like saying The Earth is flat, you can think it all you want, but it ain’t true. I ask you, I genuinely ask you, how can someone call themselves a fan of this show when they completely misinterpret it and hate the main character this much? This person’s crazy.

Aang never went out of his way for anyone? My god, if this take were true, Zuko would have been dead at the end of season one. Everyone aside from Aang was fine with the idea of allowing Zuko to freeze to death, leaving him to die. Aang was the one that saved him.

Holy shit, the first thing Aang ever offered to do with no expectation of anything in return was to offer Sokka and Katara a ride home before they died themselves stranded in the tundra. He then offered to take Katara to the other side of the world to fulfill her dreams. When he was banished from her village, he left without protest and even said he didn’t want to come between Katara and her family. Even when he was sad to leave because he had just made a first friend in who knows how long (seeing as we know he was ostracized at the temple), he still left.

He then came back not to break the banishment but to save their lives. He offered himself up, LITERALLY sacrificed himself for them, with no expectation of anything in return.

Aang is an extremely compassionate, good natured person. He is the most “altruistic” character in the show, followed only by Katara who comes nearly as close (one of the reasons they are so good together).

He singlehandedly put the fires out on Kyoshi Island that ZUKO SETS, he protects the NWT from invasion in every possible way he can and singlehandedly wipes out their fleet when he gives himself over to the ocean spirit, he demands they search for Bumi NOT because he needs a teacher but because bumi is his FRIEND! He saves everyone in the cave by making sure they don’t get fucking crushed with its collapse, he is willing to sacrifice himself and force himself into the Avatar State to win the war because he is that guilt ridden even when the AS is extremely painful and traumatizing to him, he stops this only when it affects Katara because he loves her, he offers to let Toph run away with them not because he wants to use her as a teacher but because he listened to her life story and wishes to help her feel free, he fucking dies for Katara and sacrificed his own love for her to save her life

he tries to shoulder every burden he feels on his own as a means to protect the other characters

he supports Sokka when he voices insecurities, he is welcoming and friendly to Hakoda and even inquires about how Katara is feeling when he meets Hakoda, he sobs during the eclipse invasion because Katara and Sokka have to be separated from their father again and Aang blames himself for this defeat and is grief stricken because he is so upset they are losing their dad again (and he thinks it’s his fault)

Why the actual fuck would Katara ever “choose” Zuko over Aang?

Katara was never deeply tied to Zuko. She always saw him as an enemy trying to take away the boy she loved. This is why she threatened to fucking kill him.

Zuko helped his sister murder Aang right in front of Katara’s eyes. It was canonically the darkest period of her life.

Katara’s anger and hatred toward Zuko is 100% justified. Of course, Zuko is a self absorbed ass, so he claims her anger isn’t justified and that she’s just projecting. Her anger toward him specifically had far more to do with what he did to Aang and far less to do with what the Fire nation and Zuko’s family did to her mother. Even still, she’s right to be angry about her mother’s murder too, and Zuko’s piece of shit family is responsible.

Why the fuck would Katara magically drop to her knees and suck Zuko’s dick? He’s literally a colonizer for over 2/3 of the show. He didn’t just have a passive role, he was an active player in the war and invaded the NWT with the FN as a means to capture Aang and take him back to his daddy, where Aang would have undoubtedly been tortured mercilessly and kept on the brink of death. He assaulted Katara during this and knocked her unconscious, he taunted her with shitty words and undermined her bending ability and threw some racial/classist remarks as well as some misogynistic ones her way.

When he eventually did get his shit together and join the group, he just used her mother’s death against her and Sokka because that’s all he ever did in regards to Katara and Sokka’s mother. He learned how she died, then had Sokka divulge trauma to then use said trauma to try and force Katara to forgive him by persuading her to go on a suicide mission of revenge and bloodlust. He also literally mocked Aang’s culture and genocided people to his face, when his family committed the genocide. Oh, and he also mocked Aang’s forgiveness despite begging on his damn hands and knees for that very forgiveness like 3 episodes prior.

And then at the end of the episode, Zuko states himself that he legit doesn’t understand Katara or what she needs in life. Cuz of course he doesn’t. He isn’t a survivor of genocide, he hasn’t suffered ethnic cleansing, he isn’t oppressed. For fucks sake, his mother isn’t even dead and he gets reunited with her a few years after the canon shows timeline. Everything Zuko loses, he has returned to him. His honor, his right to the throne, his mother.

But tell me again how Katara and Aang are a bad match when they are the only two who will ever truly understand the other

[hello-universe-lovers]

SHENANIGANS: Where Mai gives headcanons to the Voices in your Head ™️ based purely off vibes!!

This episode: THE VOICES IN COOKING/BAKING

So we are back here again. Time to whip out the cakes and be sure to NOT forget to turn off the oven! Uhh spoilers kinda

Voice of the HERO: Look, I love Hero. And she is admittedly good with a lot of things. Fighting, leading (when push comes to shove), negotiating, gardening...but COOKING is where she struggles. Like, she's not bad that warrants a ban from the kitchen, and she can cook. It's just not great. And she beats herself up over it. The food itself is fine, maybe a lil burnt but serviceable.

Voice of the SMITTEN: do I need to say why he would be a good cook? This is a canon fact!what else is there to say?! Well...I can say he prefers to experiment and go overboard. Leftovers are NOT allowed when he's in charge, so everyone leaves stuffed.

Voice of the SKEPTIC: this may just be me, but Skeptic is the guy you go to for if you want something good and simple. He's not the best, but unlike hero he doesn't beat himself up over it. He makes a lot and there is plenty for tomorrow, if you feel like it. The Prince of Comfort Food.

Voice of of the CHEATED: luck may not be on her side, but the culinary gods sure are! She is EXTREMELY careful so there's no spill to trip over, no accidental knife tricks, no using the wrong ingredients or spices, unless they just don't have something. She basically "cheat-proof" the kitchen the best of her abilities. Sometimes she fails, and that sends her spiraling. But when she succeeds, she is so happy!! Oh, and her food is OK. What? Smitten takes the crown of Cooking King, she ain't beating him.

Voice of the PARANOID: surprise, surprise, he stress bakes. But only in the oddest of hours during bouts of nightmare and insomnia. Sure he doesn't do it ALL the time, but hey, can't go wrong with chocolate chip cookies at 2 AM with some Chai. Default Comfort Food King of the Voices.

Voice of the STUBBORN: In line with my hc of him being Aussie: let the man GRILL. He is meticulous in prepping, cutting, marinating the best meats he can get his hands on. He treats the kitchen like a battleground (which is why someone needs to help him clean up). But you don't wanna eat JUST that every day. Luckily, when he cooks, there's plenty for the next month or so. That's plenty of time to cleanse your palette.

Voice of the BROKEN: due to her legs, she can't exactly stand still and make a meal for 10 other people. But she is willing to help with cooking all the same. It makes her feel useful. Often with Hero or Cheated, you'd find her on a chair or in the corner, diligently peeling onions, potatoes, and such with automation not unlike a robot. Her appetite, though, leads her to not being able to join them for meal time. But it's ok, she grabs a plate later and enjoys it then. Sometimes you don't gotta force your gut.

Voice of the OPPORTUNIST: As a diligent boyfriend, he has picked up a recipe or two to show Thorn. Much like Hero, his meals are fine. Not good, not bad. The issue comes from actually being left alone to do anything. Most of the time, he doesn't like cooking for himself, let alone for the others. It's just something he picked up out of necessity. He'd settle with any leftovers if Smitten didn't had a say in that. However, they have a chore wheel for a reason so every 2 weeks, he sucks it up and cooks. He would just intentionally suck ass to not be put up to this, but that's not who he is, anymore.

Voice of the COLD: much like his hair still being silky smoothe for no reason, so is his "non-existent" cooking skills. Every time it's his turn, there's only one thing and it's a stew from some kind. Its a good stew, but since they never see him do anything, everyone thinks he just got Belle over to cook for him. Cold is not answering their questions, so it's a mystery. (Skeptic has tried to catch Belle, with no luck).

Voice of HUNTED: he doesn't cook, case close. He hates the conflicting smells and spices, he hates the stoves and oven, he hates how there are so many knives in one place. Sometimes he's more paranoid than Paranoid, in the kitchen. If you let him cook, it's something that won't straight up kill you, but he woule be uncomfortable through the process. Though, if it's just to watch others cook, he is perfectly fine, excited even. Because he's not alone and he can step in and help them if they get injured.

Voice of the CONTRARIAN: you'd think she's chaotic and...you'd be absolutely right. Weird food cravings and combos, odd snacks and drinks, Connie is the food fiend and OFFICALLY banned from the kitchen. That sign doesn't stop her bc she can't read tho. So rather than entering the kitchen alone, she sneaks in to modify that day's meal. This is where Hunted comes into play. It's a cat and mouse game, in there. Still, no one can stop her from eating stuff like lady fingers dipped in ranch dressing. Or bacon wrapped strawberries. (Smitten absolutely had a heart attack)

BONUS: COOKING TOGETHER.

They rarely cook together, like all in one, since they only have one kitchen. But it's their best memories together. Sometimes they invite the Princesses so they can make much more than usual. It becomes a psudeo date/picnic with everyone enjoying each other's company.

And they always save 2 plates for Shifty and Larry. They may be Gods who are experiencing everything through their voices and vessels, but they still deserve a plate at the table. (They appreciate it)

[eldritch-bf]

Herbert West identity related headcanons:

ftm (obviously) gay and demi

if he’s 24 in 1985 then he was born in 1961 oof

I’m also using some info from the novelization as canon so he is Canadian and his parents died in a chemical fire in the house when he was 12-13

was forced to take ballet when be was 5-10 (something Jeffry Combs joked about in the commentary from Bride)

his parents were neglectful of him and didn’t really care about him wanting to have short hair or boy clothes plus they chalked it up to his presumably undiagnosed autism

realized he felt weird about the older boy in the foster home (13-18) but didn’t really understand it; mostly he is jealous when girls take away the boy’s attention; closest friend he ever had as they were alone together but Herbert knew he could never act on it so he kept those feelings to himself

he wants sex but only from someone he’s emotionally connected with which itself is rare and at the same time intellectually he considers sex to be debasing, while also being curious about the sensation and knowing the benefits of the chemicals produced during orgasm

this is coupled with the fact that at least before starting T any thought of sex or masturbation made him extremely dysphoric and repulsed so his whole relationship with sex is very complicated

he is deeply repulsed by femininity bc it reminds him of his childhood spend as his agab and the stupid gender norms his parents thrust upon him including dismissing him being a scientist just because he had the wrong parts

he is canonically annoyed by pretty much all sounds and I suspect higher pitched sounds including women’s voices are worse; lower register sounds like thunder and men’s voices can be calming to him

upon moving from Canada to the U.S. as a student at NYU he used his new name on everything and making a clean break from his old identity was a big reason why he picked a different country to study in

hated NYU and the only good thing was it was easy to synthesize testosterone

T made him so fucking horny and also eviscerated his dysphoria; man was cranking it fucking constantly for a year straight and did some of his best work before moving to Switzerland for 3 years

Dr Gruber immediately figured out what his deal was but didn’t say anything and just treated him normal and for that Herbert was extremely devoted to him; Dr Gruber also did his top surgery in Switzerland despite having never done such an operation before

Dr Gruber was the one and only member of his support system the only person who knew everything about him and understood him and accepted him, losing him was a devastating blow and Herbert decided he would keep himself closed off

Also Dr Gruber didn’t have anyone either and adored Herbert and according to the book fucking left Herbert his money when he died which paid for his tuition and moving costs etc

if I didn’t genuinely like the father/son dynamic they have, I would absolutely say he was fucking that old man

So he was cool and clipped to Dan when he first met him and when he moved in trying to keep Dan at arm’s length away but he saw how smart and hardworking Dan was and he knew how difficult it was to conduct this research alone and he desperately wanted the company

and Dan reminded him a lot of the first boy he ever had a crush on and it would give him a certain satisfaction to vicariously have his first crush through Dan yet also knowing that Dan is way better than the idiot teen boy he was in the foster home with who never gave him the time of day; he’s also pleased with the idea of dragging Dan (normal, supposedly heterosexual, law-abiding) down with him; he’s pulling the brightest kindest handsomest hardest working med student out of Miskatonic into his orbit and making Dan’s life revolve around him

literally “look at the bad bitch I pulled by being a little freak” absolute nightmare Herbert West takes personal pleasure in ruining sweaterboy Daniel Cain’s life

the chaos of everything they do is so much more important that when Dan finds out Herbert is trans and gay it doesn’t even phase him.

(Daniel Cain is bisexual and basically decided it was just easier to be pretend to be straight and get a girlfriend so he ignored his feelings for men. But now with Herbert he doesn’t have to.)

he is completely shocked by sex with Dan however despite knowing that Dan is experienced he was not prepared nor was Dan prepared for how awkward yet demanding the virginal Herbert West would be, yelling at him one moment before becoming cock stupid the next

[fanfic-the-wish-your-heart-makes]

Chapter 4 of Revenge Can Hurt More Than the Person It's Aimed at (An Angsty Nygmobblepot x Reader Hurt/Comfort Fix-it Fic)

<-previous chapter

Chapter 4: Not Completely Heartless Plans and the Lack of a Corpse

Additional warnings for this chapter: Ed thinking about the possibility of Oswald killing the reader (he doesn't seriously think Oswald would harm you), mention of canonical alcohol problems (Oswald), self-deprecating thoughts (by Oswald)

Word count: 2784

Author's note: After me being busy and then ill, the new chapter's finally finished. Enter Barbara Kean & Tabitha Galavan 🤗

Thanks go to @gabriella-aesthetic for commenting on the last chapter & making me do the finishing touches on this one sooner. I hope you enjoy this chapter ❤

Wow, a cover for this chapter too? Yes!

_________________

Ed's eyes were fixed on the entrance to Gotham City Hall. Oswald still hadn't stormed out of the building like he'd imagined.

Ed looked away to Mr. Van Dahl's remains as well as Oswald's dead chief of staff in the trunk of the car, then turned to the shapeshifter he had met in Indian Hill, "A very good job."

Basil Karlo, aka Clayface, took off his contacts and removed his wig. "He bought it."

Ed smirked. "Hook, line and sinker."

"The voice wasn't quite right but, uh, you know." He heard stilettos on the paving stone and stepped back.

"Bravo, boys." Barbara Kean approached them with Tabitha Galavan close behind. "Penguin lost his mind on national TV. Just like you said he would."

"It's all about the power of suggestion." Ed was proud of his knowledge about the mayor. "And whispering in the right ears."

Tabitha wasn't as impressed, "Why don't you just leave these bodies for the cops? Have him arrested."

"That's too easy, Tabitha." He had much better plans, "I want this to be a slow, painful death. One of a thousand deep cuts. First we take away his mind-

Barbara interruped him, "Then - the part I like - we destroy his empire and take it for ourselves."

"And then when this bird is broken and alone, we do the humane thing...and put him out of his misery."

The blonde heiress pouted playfully, then giggled, and Ed smiled with her. He had this planned out to the-

"Why hasn't he left the building yet?"

Ed suppressed a glare at Tabitha.

"I don't know," he responded, folding his phone open to dial one of the contacts he still had from being Oswald's chief of staff. "Perhaps it's because-"

Two (2) messages from y/f/n y/l/n.

Oswald really needs me. He hasn't been feeling well since you left. I hope we can talk about it.

Reading your message made Ed ask himself whether his plan was really as fool-proof as he'd assumed it was. "He's late because he wasn't alone", he explained, then continued reading, Hopefully you don't think I'm ditching you for Oswald. I just had to be there for him, this day is extremely important.

He has an interview with Margaret Hearst, can you believe that?

Of course you'd support your friend when he had an interview with a star journalist. A star journalist Ed had secretely nudged towards Oswald.

"Ed?"

He didn't listen, being too focused on your texts:

I hope we can still meet :) When do you have time to spare? Just a quick heads-up: I don't know how the interview will go and if it doesn't Oswald, might need someone to be there for him, and well, we know how much trust he puts in other people, right xD?

Despite the guilt he felt at you worrying about Oswald, your words almost placated him, making him smile ever so slightly and feel transported to when you had all been friends, to that evening when Oswald had laughed so hard that-

"Hello?" Earth to Ed."

Barbara. Barbara was waving her hand in front of his face.

"Are you lost? What did you find out?"

"Y/n", he said, "y/n accompanied Oswald. It must be the reason why he's so late."

"Y/n got in the way, huh?" Barbara stalked towards the brown-haired man and began to circle him. "Do you want us to do something about that?" She halted in front oh him, "A little kidnapping maybe?"

Ed tensed, more than he had when talking about his plans for revenge. "No!" It came out aggressive, as if they were on opposite sides but he didn't care. "No one must hurt y/n!"

Barbara held up her manicured hands in a conciliatory way, "Okay! Geez, Ed, it's alright. Your friend's safe from us. Right, Tabby?"

"Yeah."

"Make sure that Butch, no, everyone, knows not to harm y/n."

Tabitha's scoff was overshadowed by Barbara's confident smile. "Consider it done. As long as your friend doesn't interfere, she thought.

Tabitha stepped towards them, "So you are friends?"

"Of course!" Ed said full of indignation.

She looked to Barbara and raised an eyebrow before he gained her attention back with his irritated tone, "Why wouldn't we be? What are you alluding to?"

After a nod from Barbara, the long-haired woman looked Ed straight in the face and asked, "I mean don't you feel guilty for letting your friend worry about Penguin's misery?"

Ed was taken aback. Of course he did.

"I..."

How could he be at a loss for words after boasting about his schemes seconds ago?

The voice inside his head answered promptly, Easy: You're not as heartless as you pretend to be. Don't lose sight of who you love, Eddie.

While Barbara and Tabitha looked at him expectantly, he gave a quick response, That's what I'm doing! Focusing on Oswald and on y/n! We texted quite often over the past weeks.

"Ed?"

"Yes!" He straightened his jacket, "What is it?"

Barbara patted his arm, "I think you're doing great!" She gave Tabitha a subtle look indicating that she knew he wasn't, "Look at you, protecting your friend from someone as dangerous and selfish as Oswald."

Hearing her put it like that...Perhaps he was protecting you from Oswald. The thought hadn't crossed his mind. While Ed believed that Oswald would never harm you, he hadn't suspected him to be Isabella's murderer either.

The thought of Oswald killing you seemed ridiculous but that didn't mean that Barbara's words had no impact.

He had loved Isabella and he loved you, at least as much as-at least a lot.

What if things had been different and Oswald had been jealous of you?

Ed pictured the scene: your lifeless body in the GCPD, a car accident report, Oswald telling him to move on when he was still mourning!

"You still with us, Ed? Cause you shouldn't-"

His telephone rang. 'Oswald Cobblepot'. "Speaking of the devil, who seems to have called...eight times, wow" he was glad to see they were now looking at him as if he was capable despite the zoning out, "he can suffer for a little longer." He clapped the device shut. "You were saying?"

Barbara was pleased that Ed was ignoring the probably miserable mayor, "I was saying...that you needn't feel bad about getting your revenge on Penguin. Just continue doing what you're doing and our plans will be a piece of cake." She laughed.

_________________

Oswald was anything but laughing. He stood on shaky legs, panting from walking quickly after finally...well, not getting rid of you but assuring you he'd be fine. Oh god, had he made you worry too much? He hoped not.

He looked back as if you might appear at any moment, then moved back to the door. It was best that you didn't disturb him. If his father's skeleton wasn't real, he'd look insane. He closed the door and locked it. Even if his father's remains were in the same place: you didn't need to see a corpse, beleagured enough as you already were.

He hadn't meant to alarm you. You suspected that he had harmed himself, for God's sake! Oswald limped to the place where he had last seen his father's body, determined to wash away the blood and show you how alright he was. At least physically...

The disheveled mayor opened the office cupboard and gasped in shock. It was empty and what was worse, the traces to Elijah's presence were gone.

"No!" Oswald clutched a hand in front of his mouth. "No no no no no, please don't let this be...please let it have been real... I need you, father! I need your advice. Come back to me!"

He closed the cupboard and looked around the room. Not a single trace of his father. Had he vanished...or never been there to begin with, a hallucination? Oswald was sleep-deprived.

Ed! Oswald was spurred into action. He pulled out his phone and called his number.

Ring.

Ring.

Ring.

Ri-

"This is Edward."

It normally didn't take this short for the voice message to start. Ed had declined the call.

"Leave a message. Or don't."

Right. There was the audible reminder of the sadness Oswald had caused the man he loved.

"Doesn't really matter."

Oswald rubbed his temples.

Perhaps Ed was busy. Or still not over it. Over receiving a love confession after making one of the oddest business proposals Oswald had ever witnessed. It was almost as if - he steadied himself on a table... It was a level of dumbness almost completely uncharacteristic for Ed.

Oswald took shaky breaths. Coming to rash conclusions wouldn't serve him well. He needed to approach this calmly, at least as calmly as he could.

He breathed in and made sure to let out enough air as well, as Ed has taught him. Taught me with a hand on my stomach to show my where best to breathe from, he thought puzzled, then remembered that the brown-haired man had done the same with you.

Suddenly Oswald had a thought. Could it be that Ed was in love with you both, that this was his reason for distancing himself from him? It would make sense, wouldn't it: Ed, still grieving Isabella, wouldn't want to confirm being in love with Oswald if it meant making you think he didn't like you, but he wouldn't want to confess to you either in fear of losing his other best friend.

Oswald knew the feeling. Right now he wished he had never said the words to Ed. He would to anything to have him back, even if as nothing more than a friend.

Thinking back brought Oswald's mood further down. Ed had been so shocked, his body averted from Oswald's as if the mere idea of the black-haired man as someone worth having romantic interest in displeased him.

Oh, Oswald wished to have him back, to prove that his affection was nothing to be afraid of, that Ed had no reason to tense up and shield himself.

Oswald would keep his feelings to himself. He could do that, yes, he'd let Ed dictate how close they got, so that things could go back to how they'd been.

Now if he could just solve the mystery of his father!

For a moment he considered calling Ed again, then he debated texting him and gave up on that as well. What would he even write? 'Hey, Ed, first of all: don't be afraid, I'm no danger to you. I know you haven't wanted to hear from me for weeks, but I think I might be hallucinating, so I thought I'd call the next insane person I know.'

No, that would simply be ridiculous. Not only that but there was a safety issue as well: Oswald couldn't afford the public questioning his sanity because of one thoughtless text falling into the wrong hands.

He pocketed his phone to keep from making a mistake, and actually went toward the bathroom, where he'd told you he'd be.

Despite everything, there was still hope. You neither knew about the situation with Ed nor about his possibly damaged psychological state, and as long as you stayed with him, he'd manage. He'd bottle up his emotions over the day and find a way to let them out when you weren't there. After today he couldn't afford to be seen by you in such a miserable state again.

That day in the library, Ed had promised not to speak a word of the love confession to you, telling Oswald that he deserved it, that it was completely rational, no, the best decision even: to keep it a secret. He had almost been eager to assure him. Maybe Oswald's theory was true and Ed was planning on eventually getting together with him and you. Yet he had been so shocked. Oswald gasped for breath. Could it be that...could it be that Ed was only in love with you?

With all that had happened it certainly wasn't implausible: the way Ed acted around you, looked at you, cared for you, all of it was filled with love, of whichever type that may be. In Oswald's dreams, all three of you had been in love with each other, never just with one, but knowing what Ed had told him...it might be true!

Oswald collided with the door to the private bathrooms. "Ow!" Rubbing his face, he turned around to make sure no one had heard him. The way there on his shaky legs had taken him long enough and he lacked the energy to look for a new place.

He hastily locked the door and turned to the big mirror.

"Oh God!"

He looked horrible!

Strands of hair had dropped and clung to his sweaty skin, his dark circles were reinforced by the mascara he thought he'd removed sometime yesterday in between glasses of alcohol, and his expression was utterly pathetic.

How could Ed love someone like this? How could you? Had Oswald only made himself look this bad after finding his father's remains missing?

In any case: you had wanted to know whether he'd self-harmed or worse, tried to kill himself, so he couldn't have looked alright.

God, his whole existence was a mess: losing bis best friend because the thought of Oswald loving him was too much for the tall brown-haired genius, losing the public because his father who might just be a hallucination was asking things of him, and now looking like this! His eyes watered again. Of course Ed wouldn't settle for him!

He approached the sink and poured the first wave of water onto his face.

Whether he was handsome in general or not, he was unsightly today. Possibly this week. Hopefully it didn't go back to since Ed had left.

He poured another handful of water over his face.

Of course Ed doesn't love me.

He attempted to wash the make-up smudges away.

And why would you love him?

He began to rub at the mascara remains on his eyelids.

Why did you still care for him?

The mascara didn't budge.

What was keeping you from going to Ed, genius, tall and handsome Ed?

Maybe you would soon.

What would Oswald do then?!

He wouldn't kill you, that was out of the question. Just thinking about how concerned you already were made him feel guilty.

No, he wouldn't harm you, wouldn't even think about manipulating your relationship with Ed. He'd be your friend, watch as Ed got back the love Oswald had stolen from him, and as your concern for Oswald was washed away by Ed's love.

Finally seeing you happy would have to be compensation enough.

Only that you'd probably still worry about him, wouldn't you? Try and ask what's wrong, then support your friend without ever being entrusted with his secret problem, that's what you'd do, and God, it would make things ten times more heartbreaking for Oswald! He couldn't fall out of love with you! If he still loved Ed, who'd broken off all contact, then how would he be able to let go of much more innocent you, how would he endure seing the two people he loved daily?

Surely Ed would come back to the Van Dahl estate if he became your boyfriend...or would living with his friend be too weird if he was in a relationship? Ed had brought Isabella to the mansion but maybe he'd prefer to settle down in his own house, move in with you and leave Oswald alone?

That would be horrible! Except...maybe he'd need the distraction, the time for himself to cry without making either of you worry.

At the thought a next wave of tears spilled from his eyes.

I'd live with it somehow, he told himself. I love them too much to break off contact, he thought, even as sobs shook his body.

_________________

Ed's phone rang again. He made a show out of ignoring it but as soon as Barbara looked away to "Tabby", he threw a look at it. It was you.

"I need to answer this." His fingers were already itching to press the button.

"You do that," Barbara saw your name on the screen, then lowered her voice, "and don't forget: you need to protect the last person you love. Oswald doesn't care about the people - as he so elegantly told the whole city - or those he loves. But I don't need to tell you that."

She padded his shoulder and tugged Tabitha along, and after Basil Karlo had left the three alone, only Ed remained, who hastily took the call.

____________

Author's note: I'm back again! I've gotta be careful that I don't overwork myself with this fic. These last weeks it was kind of difficult to continue not just because I was busy & then ill but cause I felt like publishing it didn't pay off (both tumblr & A03 formatting takes more time than I'd like & writing for a niche couple in an old fandom doesn't help with getting comments either 🥲 But don't worry, I get that not everyone has the energy to comment :))

Next chapter->

[angstigone]

(A/N): this was prompted because I saw a cute fanart being «you are as beautiful as the day I lost you» and because I can be as delusional as I want in my writing.

WARNINGS: EXTREMELY NOT CANON COMPLIANT (me taking volume 9 and ripping it apart 'what's canon? and why would you need canon?'), gore and violence, she/her - afab character, spoilers for part two and one of chainsaw man.

you weren't getting out of this alive, you thought as the angry mob moved closer to you and nayuta, the sole reason why you were trying to hold out strong and resist although you doubted it'd have made any difference.

you hadn't much to look forward and although denji and the reincarnation of the woman that had taken everything from you were still alive, you doubted that your loss would have been perceived as anything else than a mournful opportunity.

they'd have grieved but moved on and you might have met him again.

wherever he had gone after he had left you.

«nayuta» you muttered feeling the child's irregular breath and looking seriously in her golden eyes «... do you... can you see any escape routes?».

with how the crowd was closing into you, you didn't think that you'd have survived or had any chance to move away fast enough to disseminate them, especially with your sole refuge burned down. still, if you had just a single distraction... if you created one...

«... nayuta!» your voice was now stricteer as you lightly pulled on the smaller girl's clothes to gain her attention «listen to me, closely, alright?».

when she had been dropped into your lap by kishibe, you had refused to feel even the tiniest amount of emotion for what you expected to be another evil incarnate; as selfish as it might be, you had let a seventeen-year-old take care of a child till something had broken the dam when you had come to visit and noticed that her shade of hair remembered of somebody dear to you.

she could have been like a daughter with that specific somebody and that's how your brain rationalized the impropty instict that you felt towards that bratty duckling.

the thought, right now, of her not making out alive petrified you enough to realized that as much as you denied, you had become a parent to her.

«I am not» you certainly loved her stubborness but not right now, as her shy fists hit your gut with little to no effect «I am not leaving you! not now... we ... we are going to make them pay and...».

«nayuta, you are going to leave me, even if I have to be the control devil between us» you replied sternly, hoping she'd hate you in these last moments; you knew all too well what it was like to love somebody in their last moments and you didn't wish for her to carry that weight.

as much as you had feigned disinterest for her opinion, you knew that similarly to how denji felt for you she saw you as an older sister of kind.

she had said as much when she had sleepily asked whether the past her and you could have been friends, hadn't she been a devil.

"... or sisters".

«you are going to be a grown up and fucking bolt it» and to sweeten the pill, you added «... find denji, alright?».

«he doesn't... he doesn't... want me. not anymore!» oh sweet dearie.

«he does, he just...» you could feel the crowd's makeshift weapons being brought up and right as you felt the ring of something akin to a gun being readied you shielded nayuta with your whole body just to be surprised when you felt nothing.

nothing at all. no noise, nothing else as the world stalled till you dared to blink an eye open much to your shock and found that the crowd hadn't magically disappeared - albeit your wish - but it looked scared.

it couldn't be because of nayuta with how eagerly they had been to tear her apart and her own powers were but a wink to the one that makima had donned.

it must be something and with your years of having dated a devil hunter you knew that whatever the crowd was gawking at was much scarier than it.

right what you needed.

still, a distraction was a...

your eyes stopped as you noticed a dark figure that had put itself between you and where the crowd stood, stopping you from moving forward and them from coming closer. especially an arm of the figure was an shotgun.

"no, no... I don't need to see my misery in my last moments" you cursed yourself out, mechanically shielding nayuta further although the girl's eyes were all up in fascination for the upcoming monster. and if she could see him as well.

«... back off».

it was a mechanic buzz, nothing like the slight laugh that had haunted you for months after you had first heard it; that hateful little thing that diverged so much from what that voice truly sounded. as of right now.

no, it couldn't be him. it was your mind. it was a trick.

if they could emulate chainsaw man and other shit, then undoubtedly...

the crowd's animosity still heightened and a round of bullet from that same arm came to intimate to let them go and much to your genuine surprise a good chunk of them moved away in clear fear; they weren't true believer, probably just set off by fear and the height of something, and the rest that remained was quickly disposed of by being incapacitated by nayuta.

"go back home".

it was startling how her power seemed to be fully unlocked after having risked her death and if this was a dream that was too good to be true, you didn't want to wake up, especially as when your hero turned you saw the face that haunted your nightmares.

the gun devil.

and aki hayakawa that you had loved so much, smashed together in one single entity, with a gun above his face and messy hair out of his usual topknot.

this had to be some kind of nightmare.

and if it wasn't, nayuta had to be your first priority.

«go now» you whispered, pushing the child but instead, she simply moved closer to the gun devil and as you rushed out for it, you found that the devil looked awkward at his other fellow while nayuta's characteristic curiosity circled him attentively as one would with another predator «nayuta, get ba...!».

«you smell like denji» she simply uttered as it became clear to you that the gun devil didn't know how to behave with her. he was feeling.. embarassed.

such a human emotion that clashed so deeply with how he had behaved after having been revived as a fiend.

it was so much like...

«are you... are you alright?» it was his voice and yet...

... you hadn't buried him, kishibe had insisted that nothing was left and yet.

«... what... how... I...?».

«he smells like denji» nayuta reinstated as a way to reply and answer your unspoken question and while you felt irritation brewing at her childish antics, you realized that she was speaking the truth.

«apparently they classified me wrongly» no, he had been a fiend. aki hayakawa had appeared among the victims of the gun devil on that beach «some part of my brain stayed and I got offered... a deal».

you didn't wish to know what deal: pochita had been kind in denji's stories but the gun devil... you somehow doubted that he'd have enjoyed being hugged by somebody.

«when I woke up after denji... they... they seized me and...» not a grave, not a burial.

you should have known.

and yet, you couldn't believe it, when the face that was looking at you - or better his feet - was the one of the man that had brought your own lover away.

«the uprising of the hybrid brought... I could escape and I...» his gaze settled onto nayuta «... felt the push to you, control devil».

nayuta, on her own, simply grimaced up to aki before boldly shouting.

«I am not that! that isn't my name!» you doubted that ak... you mean the gun devil cared for technicalities but you were too baffled to intervene again «... my name is nayuta and you must be... aki...».

«he isn't».

you cut through the air immediately gaining the gazes of the two onto you.

«... I saw aki hayakawa die, as a fiend».

«I didn't... I swear... I'd have sought you out and...».

«tell me something that we only should know then...».

it felt, almost like something out of a shoujo manga while the whole world was coming to an end. you might have been as well killed and sent to paradise but you had always thought that maybe it'd have been... chiller up there.

«... something that only aki and I should have known and...».

«one... on the last trip in hokkaido together, we... we played cards and... then we drunk and... I remember us both lazying around on the floor... not tired enough to sleep and not wanting to do anything» if the gun devil was using aki hayakawa's brain you guessed he might have all his memories, but he certainly couldn't reproduced the tenderness that lingered as he carefully moved to you.

you took notice that his shotgun arm had grown into a slobbery mess that trickled down what now seemed a normal arm as you had seen denji do a few times when he turned back from his chainsaws. could he... could he have been... truly an hybrid?

but why?

aki hadn't ever wanted to become a devil.

he fought them for god's sake and you doubted he somehow had mustered up enough resistance in his fight against life and death when the gun devil - the one that had destroyed his family - had come with an offer.

«... still, you fell asleep first and I... I was left with my thoughts... they... they should have been... unhappy and shit...».

you knew and remembered exactly how aki hayakawa always looked when he came back from his memorial trips and you could picture him in the dark without you. a sense of guilt brewed in your chest as you faced the gun devil head on.

«... but all I could think was that... when you came to my family burial, you presented yourself as a dork and insisted on having a shitty conversation with them as if they were alive. asking for their blessing».

it had felt embarassing and shitty and you had thought that it was useless and not as cool as in your mind, but somehow the fact that even in death aki hanged onto it... it gave you something as you noticed that the same gooey substance was forming on the gun on his face.

«that's when I realized that I'd have done everything to come back to you» and then he handled the final hit «... to name our child taiyo as you told me, that night».

you fell onto your knees and from the ruckus you thought the same did aki. he was your aki, your beloved aki, although the moment when you went to gently touch his face, he pushed back.

«I am not... I...» his hand reached out for your own, although without warmth but to stop you from moving any closer «... the last time we saw each other I tried to kill you... I wasn't... I wasn't myself... but how can you...».

«you are as beautiful as the day I lost you» by now his handsome face was back from all that gooey stuff as the gun retracted itself - something that you'd have had to investigate later - and you finally could see him. your aki.

who you had thought had been gone for ever.

and without any further resistance you cradled him softly in your arms, gently hugging him as if he was the most precious. gun devil shit or not, he was back.

he had crawled back to you.

---

«so, ahem... is... is that... why is makima a child now».

«well...».

«I am not makima! she was lame! I am nayuta!».

«... why is she a child and named nayuta?».

«I think we might need to get denji for that».

«wait, why... get him? isn't he... isn't he with you?».

«well, there's this funny story...».

«he's probably making out with that blakchaired stupid girl».

«I died and denji got a girlfriend, in the meanwhile?!»

[nightdustfallen]

Finally made a ref sheet lol if any of ya'll needed a bit more of a full view to draw em here it is, as well as the accurate non-shadowed colors By the way, you can use the tag "nightly.art" to see all of my art if you dont want to dig thru all of the other art (of lovely and talented people) that i regularly reblog

Which i suppose also segways into an introductory pinned post? perhaps

Well im Nightdust!! my main fursona is this guy above me, he is called Nightdust Fallen, he is a breed of a husky and a wolf, making him extremely fluffy and puffy! The reason for his name is by the fact that (in my head canon or lore) he came from a bunch of fallen space star dust, hence why he likes space so much and staring at the stars, he also has some sort of ice magic i havent fully fleshed out yet, one thing i can say tho is that when he sneezes, he does it softly and he puffs out small ice snowflakes and can freeze things he touches he is also supposed to wear glasses like me but i suck at drawing those and forgot to include them here anyway so

He is very shy, doesnt talk much but is very protective of his very close friends and would do anything to protect them and make sure they're safe, he is a femboy (of course), enjoys listening to calm relaxing music and high octane electronic music at times, is a gamer, likes cuddling up in bed and i think that's it

It also doubles up as a self description of myself so yeah lol Still tho feel free to send me an ask if you have any questions or anything, with that said onwards to more personal stuff

I enjoy drawing obviously, but i also enjoy cooking stuff and origami, i play a lot of roblox usually to pass time but a game i really got into is "Voices of the Void" i really recommend but it's not for everyone, i like the game's concept and how detailed the space is there. For some reason, a lot of the time i am cold, my hands, feet, nose and limbs overall are very cold which is why i thought about giving my oc some ice magic thing. I am taken, in a relationship with my cutie bunny bf, and my sexuality is bisexual. As said before i do not talk much since im not the social type and usually freeze up or dont know what to say, hence why sometimes i take a long time to respond to something or my response is "dry" or not full of much emotion since i dont really know what to say or feel like im annoying if i talk too much. If you read thru all of that and get here then reply with the word bean so i know you're a true one hehe. I also often wait for others to start the conversation rather than me starting since i again, feel like i would bother the other person or like i could distract them if they are doing something

Anyways i believe that is pretty much it, thank for reading all of this if you did, and i probably didnt mention lots of details i should have but they arent coming to my mind right now